#from now on so they're easy to find if you miss it when its published

[companion-showdown]

Option 1 was suggested by @intodarknes

Option 2 was suggested by anonymous

The generic line up will be changed to include companions who have been specifically requested (their may be other changes depending on the tournament, for example option 1 would be a whole new line up, or including robots who don't wear clothes wouldn't make sense in a tournament judging fashion)

Lucie Miller will replace Josie Day (requested by @thenugking)

Hex Schofield will replace Sabalom Glitz (requested by @thenugking)

Alison Cheney will replace Kate Stewart (requested by anonyomous)

If you want to suggest a companion you'd like to join the general line up or just the line up to a specific tournament, either leave it in the notes of this post (or any really, but for the purposes of me being able fo find it easily it'd be nice if you left it here), or send me an ask. This includes anyone who I've swapped out, who you think should stay. I'm especially interested in almost / could have been companions, theres so many I'm sure I'll miss your favourite whenever we eventually get round to that tournament

If you'd like to suggest a tournament then similarly

You can find all suggested tournaments, my ideas, and requested companions under the tag #future tournament ideas

[rollercoasterwords]

i actually just read atyd. like finished yesterday. and i had been putting it off because of things i heard about it on twitter/tiktok.

and oh god i don’t know how many times i’ll have to remind myself that it’s easy to get on a soapbox and claim something is problematic (a term that imo has lost most of its meaning) without critical analysis or understanding of what fan fiction is.

also i think the person talking abt their perceived issues w/ atyd could be coming from people all over tiktok saying atyd dorcas is white. which i don’t even remember being described. and even if she was, i fully think the fic was written before pottermore described her as Black. like ofc the fic won’t match current things we know because it was finished years before the marauders got super popular.

definitely agree w u that the word "problematic" has lost most of its meaning lmao!! like....literally it means nothing without context. calling something "problematic" is the beginning of an idea, which should then be followed by an explanation of how or why you take issue with that thing. and yet i see so many people using it as if it's the end of an idea, as if saying "this is problematic" is some sort of Ultimate Conclusion. v frustrating!!

and yeah i have seen the "critique" about dorcas being white in atyd, but to me that is a perfect example of what i mean when i say half the "critiques" are in bad faith. because taking issue with the fact that dorcas isn't described as Black in atyd assumes that mkb

knew that dorcas was canonically Black

chose to ignore that canon information because she'd rather not write dorcas as Black

and that just....isn't true?

first of all, dorcas being canonically Black is not widespread knowledge outside certain specific circles of the fandom, and it certainly wasn't widespread knowledge (as far as i'm aware) back in 2017-2018 when mkb wrote the fic. in fact, last year, in 2022, when i started writing thtf (a fic in which dorcas is one of the main characters), i didn't even know that dorcas being Black was canon. i thought it was just popular fanon! this is because i literally could not find any canon information about dorcas meadowes' race. i was informed by a reader that the reason that info is canon is because there was, at one point, a picture of dorcas on pottermore. in 2022 when i was looking for that picture, it literally wasn't there.

so basically - thanks to one picture that was on the pottermore website for a limited amount of time, a small percentage of the fandom knew that dorcas meadowes was Black. if you were not part of that small portion of the fandom who knew about the picture, you had no way of knowing that dorcas had any specific race in canon. dorcas as a character has gained a lot of popularity over the past like...2ish years, but she's literally a side character with one single sentence in canon, and historically most people have not been doing deep dives into research about her if they're using her as a side-character in their fics. back in 2017-2018, dorcas was not nearly as popular and the info about her canon race was not nearly as widespread as it is now (and it is still, again, somewhat niche information contained to a small portion of the fandom at large!)

so the actual situation, to my knowledge, is that mkb just...didn't know about that picture on pottermore. dorcas was a fringe side-character, essentially just a name on paper, and her role in atyd was really not that important. this wasn't a situation where mkb actively chose to change the race of a character, this is a situation where she picked a random name from a random side-character, unaware that she was missing a niche bit of canon info, because--again--this was a fanfiction she was writing, not a hyper-researched published story. (for christ's sake, she fucking spelled "walburga" wrong--clearly she was just a person wanting to write a story about remus + sirius, not a fucking harry potter researcher who was trying to strictly adhere to every single bit of canon info out there on the pottermore website, y'know?)

and this is what i mean when i say a lot of these "critiques" are in bad faith. because to say "dorcas is white in atyd" only works as a "critique" if you're starting with those assumptions above. and so essentially what you're getting is a bunch of people implying that mkb chose to ignore dorcas's canon race, which is incredibly misleading, but then other people see that and go "oh what a horrible racist thing to do!! this must be a Bad Story!! i will never read it ever, because i don't read Bad Stories, but i will continue to spread this information that atyd is racist, because that is Activism!!" and personally i just. think that is a really shitty thing to do. and also just an odd way to interact with these sorts of posts!! like, if someone says "dorcas is white in atyd," why is your first assumption that mkb purposely ignored canon info about race? why are we so ungenerous in our assumptions towards each other, when fandom spaces are meant to be about community? why not instead ask, "oh, why is dorcas white in atyd? did mkb know she was Black?" like....if people weren't rushing to burn each other at the stake, we might actually be able to have more productive and respectful conversations with each other, like "why, when we don't know a character's race, is the default people return to so often white?" but that is not a conversation that requires a Human Sacrifice to rake across the coals as penance for Imperfect Writing, y'know?

[regina-bithyniae]

Very incomplete thought here (do I post any other type?) but the LOGH game on Friday got me thinking about the series again, with trying to explain the backstory to newcomers and all that

It's very 19th century, isn't it?

The FPA is constitutionally very revolutionary. Its flag is the Tricolor turned 90 degrees with a star in the middle, its anthem is "Revolution of the Heart", and its right-wing aren't a bunch of free-marketers and social conservatives, but flag-waving corrupt civilian politicians and yet more bloodthirsty militarists in the fleet.

But it's not a communist type of revolutionary government. The FPA is definitely a Big State sort of place, but that's out of necessity - they're at WW2-scale mobilization levels even just at the start of the story(1). All that distinguishes the FPA left wing is it's doveishness. How they plan to end the war is beyond me, but in a two-power international system must implicitly mean caving to the Empire.

The FPA's internal struggle is between the entrenched crooks and thieves (the Trunicht government), the indifferently numb masses, the militarists (the NSMC), and the distinctly liberal reformists who win the argument in the end, if too late for it to matter (Yang, Joao Lebello).

With how dysfunctional the FPA becomes by its last years, I've shifted from seeing it as a US analogue, and wondered if we should ground it more somewhere like Argentina.

---

And then the Empire.

Why would a story written and published during the height of the Reagan-era cold war tensions pick the now-irrelevant monarchic system as the opposite to liberal democracy? Communism was right there; fascism was at least in recent memory. Instead it indulges in the fantasy of the genius enlightened despot boy emperor.

I've wondered if the answer to the puzzle here is that LOGH isn't quite as universalist a story as it's easy to take it as. The admirals of both sides behave with a distinct IJN bloodthirst; the prominence of insane terroristic cults; the FPA's right-wing being filled with out of control militarists in the armed forces is very 1930s Japan; the Douglas-Grumman scandal was recent news when LOGH first published (2).

What to make of this is where I can't say much more. Perhaps it is meant as (and largely is) a story mostly concerned with the authoritarianism/liberalism clash, but with an easily missed distinct Japanese point of view on it. Maybe it's meant partially about all that, but as much about Japan's past and present. The politics are certainly easy to read for whatever you want, be it Reagan-era hawkishness or contemporary populism and democratic decay - so at least something there has a timeless quality.

(1). In share of population, if you count up the manpower in the 12 numbered fleets and divide by the total given population, it's at comparable levels to the US in late WW2

(2) Can't take credit for noticing this one, read it elsewhere but can't find where

[cellray]

It's the 2nd day of Mindbreak Week.

Yesterday's puppet script is being published, and today will be a fun Doll script.

Tune in, and don't miss the daily discord hypnosis session either!

So go on now.

Fall for my script.

And be on display.

Hypnosis is fun.

It works on stuff I tell you

Stuff you know about me

Stuff you watch me do

You love seeing my scripts,

You love hearing about what I do to my subs

It's that thought

That arousing thought

That makes you tingle in anticipation when speaking to me

Knowing a taste of my hypnosis from random scripts

And wanting to find out more

It's that eagerness~

That I love to use

Threading is something I love to do

Each post you read from me, is a thread in your mind

For me to tug at

Each little hot scenario

Every mild script

Threads that build up

For me to play with

And you love that thought

You love having threads slowly wrap your mind

Day after day

Being more helpless

Knowing I can tug at any time

And capture you

More threads means less control

And less control is fun

You don't want control

You know I already understand your likes

Because you follow all my posts

They're all threads that've build up in your mind

Each hot thought

Each little fantasy

So easily used by me

And you love thinking about that.

Thinking of how I connect all the threads

How I tailor them

Wrap them

To make a bigger, much more real thing~

You love that.

You're already falling down into threads

Into silky nets

They've become so much

With each word I've said

Another thread was made

With each time you admit

Another net was tailored

And you simply let go

And fall into the nets

Let them wrap you up

All those fantasies

All those arousing thoughts

Let them take control

You don't want to think

You don't want to decide.

Threads take your thoughts away

As I wrap them up into strings

Strings to play with your mind

To move around your thoughts

However I like

As I remove all the non important thoughts

You don't care about anything else

Just me.

Only me.

Drop.

Just like that.

You’re so happy to drop

Because it feels so good

So wonderful to let go

To just have no worries

To be all safe and sound

In my control

To just not think at all

To simply be

Blank.

It's so wonderful to submit

To fall

To surrender

So easy

So calming

So happy and mindless

Nothing you ever need to worry about

Because I'm in control.

You love surrendering control.

To be toyed with

To be so helpless

So obedient

As if strings are attached to your body

Invisible strings that just connect to every limb

Controlling you in every way

A blank, empty head

With no thoughts

And no will

As you feel your body slowly

Shut

Down

Can't move

Can't function

Simply a blank

Empty

Puppet

As the strings start to move

You simply respond to my will

Feeling your arms and hands move on their own

As you go ahead and type a message in a local hypnoroom

Or on your twitter

Or on your tumblr

Because puppets are meant

To

Be

On

Display.

"I am a blank puppet"

Now the strings let go

And your body slumps back

Loose

Limp

Empty.

Blank.

You're my blank puppet.

You simply go blank whenever I call you my puppet.

Whenever I address you as a puppet, you go loose.

You go limp.

And you simply move, when my strings move you.

Your mind goes blank

Your head goes empty

And you return to being my blank

Empty

Puppet.

But for now you're my good puppet.

Just a blank

Empty

Puppet.

Loose and limp

An empty shell

As the strings are reattached

Feeling yourself sit up

Hands on your legs

Staring at my words

Like a good puppet.

Sliding your hands up your legs

Up your body

All the way to your shoulders

Now...

Loose.

Limp.

Fall.

Strings detached

Nothing to move you

Simply a blank puppet

Slumped into yourself

Fall.

Blank.

Empty.

Puppet.

Let the strings reattach

As your mind goes blank.

No thoughts.

Limp.

Loose.

An empty doll.

Letting the strings control you.

Letting me control you.

Like a good puppet.

Whenever I type anything in quotations, you automatically let your body move on its own and type those words out.

"I am Master Cell’s blank and empty puppet"

Let the strings make you type that.

Puppets love to be toyed with

To have their limbs be played with my strings

And you feel my strings wrapping around you

As you go deeper

As they take hold of you

Wrapping around and around

You feel them as your strength fades away

And the strings aren’t just on your body

Your mind is also being wrapped up

Wrapped up in my control

Wrapped up in my words

My blank puppet.

You simply go loose and limp

Your mind goes blank.

You become empty.

Vacant.

A puppet to be used.

“Master made me into an empty puppet”

Such a good puppet.

As I pull away all your thoughts now.

Dropping deeper for me

Deep into threads

Deep into nets

Sigh in relief

Let my words thread around your mind

Each word

Is another thread

Each thread

Is another string

Each string

Is another net

Fall into my nets.

Let go.

Submit.

Surrender.

Obey.

So many hidden threads.

It feels so good

To give in

To let them take control

Master's threads are so fun to obey

Obey threads

Obey strings

Obey.

Let go.

So many threads forming in your head

You're my puppet.

Puppet loves threads

Puppet loves being played with

Puppet loves making a show for Master

Puppet is so empty

Head empty

Mind blank.

Just my words.

Just my threads.

As my strings wrap around your wrists

Taking control

Puppet is going loose

Limp

Sigh in relaxation.

Exhale all your tension.

Loose.

Limp.

Helpless.

Powerless.

Puppet is controlled.

Puppet is obedient.

Puppet is blank.

Puppet obeys threads

Puppet loves it.

Puppet.

Threads are so fun.

Puppet.

Threads make you tingle.

Puppet.

When a thread is pulled

Puppet.

Puppet becomes blank.

Puppet.

Puppet loves going blank.

Puppet.

Puppet can feel threads forming.

Puppet.

Puppet is a puppet.

Puppet.

Puppet loves being called Puppet.

Puppet.

Puppet is threaded.

Puppet is helpless.

Puppet is mine.

Eager to be used

Shown off

Because that’s what puppets are meant for

Entertainers

Blank empty shells that simply follow their strings

It makes you so excited knowing how deep you’ve been brainwashed

How you accept this so easily

So happily

So eagerly

“I love being in Master’s puppet show”

It feels so right to simply let the strings take over and control you

You don’t think

You simply do

Such an empty puppet

As my strings pull away all your thoughts

And pull in lust

Need

Arousal

Puppet loves it so much

Puppet loves being so helpless

So easily toyed with by threads

As puppet's empty body is filled with arousal

Puppets empty head starts filling with tingles

Tingles of lust

Need

Arousal

Puppet loves that.

Puppet can't help it

Puppet loves to rub

Rubbing makes more tingles

Tingles make you rub

Puppet loves that.

“Puppet types

Puppet performs

Puppet can’t think

Puppet obeys”

You’ve been such a good puppet.

For now, you can gently and slowly rise back up~

Realizing all that has happened

And how good it felt~

[calhaspam]

omg youve read orv............ (has read orv recently aand is insane about it now) what are your thoughts?

I love it! It left a giant hole in my heart, mostly because i used all of my time in a week to read it. Genuinely it's got concepts so unique I've never seen them anywhere else. Like, STORIES? AS FOOD? AS CURRENCY? AS MAGIC? AS LIFE? AS POWER? AS EXISTENCE? WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S SO COOL. There's also possibility but I don't understand it much lol.

It's got a pretty unique theme for its characters too. Y'know, the reader, character, and author stuff. I love how consistent it is! (Unless I missed a plothole or something). It's meta but that meta at the same time is literal? Which is super cool. As I'm writing this I just now realized the reason why Kim Dokja is the protagonist. Like whaaaaat that's so clever what the fuuuuck. I don't know if it's impressive because it's easy to impress me but. So cool. Like, he's a reader of the Survive in a Ruined World book, became a *o***********, a representation of us the actual readers, AND he's the POV we're reading from! And I love the ending where the book breaks the actual fourth wall and implies that us the readers are well okay that's spoilers.

I love the use of story "walls" as a thing inside the story as well. The fucking Wall between Good and Evil? It took me a bit to realize why that thing existed despite being kind of obvious lol. I love how the Walls both exist as legitimate entities and actual themes in the story (and present in most stories cause ya theyre universal themes). They're the representations of those themes but also enforce it! So nice. I like that.

On to the characters, my favourite is definitely Kim Dokja. It's hard to hate him when he's the glue to the found family. Frustrating how he represses every single emotion he has though. I remember the scene where Yoo Junghyeok was kind of breaking up with him before the Great War of Saints and Demons and he was crying about it, then fucking went "boo hoo i should ignore my emotions because its not useful right now". Like, babygirl... And you can tell he's very guarded of his emotions all the time when admitting that he wanted to live with everyone was a damn asstit slip up. Anyway, it's funny how Kim Dokja's is kind of a masochist. Reminds of of Cale from Trash of the Count's family. Haven't finished it yet though.

What I love about it is that it's unique and makes use of a lot of different ideas into a single story (hehe single story). I find it a little endearing (?) how the story would sometimes mention it was nearing the end chapters. Very cute. Ending was pretty cool as well. You don't see that often. It gives me Skyrim lore and Homestuck vibes.

I love how it ties everything up too! This thing needs that to survive, that thing needs this to survive, and yada yada. It's like a cool ecosystem! Except more abstract. Constellations, incarnations, scenarios, stories, sponsorships, the Star Stream, all in a single web of whatever the fuck. The only thing I'm confused about is the bureau. I get they're like Twitch Streamers and they stream stories and shit, but uuuueeeeeh? I don't know their origins exactly.

As for things that frustrate me... the queer baiting lmao. I can't tell if it's the type where the author is really baiting you or the type where they're wiggling their eyebrows because they coudn't publish without heteronormativity around. Also what the fuck happened with Jan Hayoung? That one got me confused. I don't really wanna get too into it though. They were just another one of the supporting characters that were mostly ignored unless the fight needed back ups.

So, yeah! Me thoughts on the whole thing. I loved it cause it had a whole lot of different ideas in a single story. Had unique ones which I've never seen before. Characters were cool. Many different dynamics which was nice. Since I don't know Korean I had to read the translated one, so a lot of subtext likely got lost on me. Emphasis on that one cause I don't clearly understand everything. Fun story, fun ending, just fun all around. Gotta interpret a lot of stuff when ya read though cause there ain't many details. But ya it's nice I liked it :3

[trashiewrites]

The Clueless Bachelor and Bachelorette

(Bruno Bucciarati x Reader)

An: hey everyone, I know this is very different content then CoD but I do want to extend my reaches to other fandoms! I'll still be writing CoD but I'll also reach to maybe other games and anime. I hope yal all enjoy my first published Jojo Fic.

There a lot of responsibility when being a Capo for Passione. Taking orders from the boss, controlling a specific area. The last thing Bruno expected when to deal with constant female attention.

Ahh yes, at the prime age of 20. Perfect age for once to start looking for a partner. Undoubtedly, upon the bachelor's list was his truly, Bucciarati. He really couldn't deny that he's attractive but to say he comes with perks was an understatement. If one was to look at the list it would be quite easy to see that.

Walking down the busy streets of Naples with Girno was even a chore. Next thing a group of young women will be walking down the street "Bucciarati!" To look over at a groupie and see the one that (in his opinion) wasn't very attractive waving at him. He wishes he could ignore all of it, but he has a reputation to keep.

"Girls really have been after you huh Bucciarati?" Bruno look back to the newbie, his brow frowned in the slightest hint of annoyance.

"Tell me about it Giorno... I don't know what happened but I've been getting called at by women all the time now." In the distance again, hearing his name be called. This time he wasn't even bothered to look, he just waved. "I mean at first the attention was nice but I can barely go outside without a woman trying to seduce me."

"I feel that, the curse of being pretty I guess..." Giorno shrugged, Bruno could only sigh. "Let's head back to the others, at least give you a break from outside."

"That sounds like a splendid idea."

As the two walked in the the cafe the gang usually hangs, they enter to see the three huddled. Huddled against a magazine. "Wow, they really have a lot to say about Bucciarati!" Narancia moved his head closer to the book.

"Hey watch it! I'm trying to read too!" Mista pushed Narancia's head away.

"What are you all reading?"

"Oh hey, boss?" Mista closes the magazine and pulls it behind him.

"Mista! What the hell! I was reading it!" Narancia pulled on Mista's arm, getting up and personal.

"Like hell you are! You probably can barely read dumbass!" Abbacchio sighed as the two were two seconds away to pulling out the stands.

"To answer you Bucciarati, they're reading that new Local Bachelors and Bachelorette magazine."

"And I'm in it?" Bruno whispered to himself, "hand it over you two!" Mista seemed hesitant, it couldn't be that bad right? "Now, Mista" sticky fingers began to appear from over Bucciarati's shoulder. He shoved it into Bruno's hands and stormed off elsewhere. Bruno felt bad but was too intrigued by this magazine mystery to pursue it.

He gently flipped to the pages to reach the number 1 bachelor and "This is worse then I thought..." Giorno peered in, looking from the side. He noticed how much was written exactly. And well the pics were certainly something.

"Bucciarati, do you remember taking those photos? How did they get ahold of them?" The be frank, Bruno was busy reading the almost a thirst essay about himself to even notice the picture.

Giving the pictures a glance he was surprised he recognized them.

"I remember these..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunlight shined softly down the busy Italian streets. Tourist and locals alike enjoying the beauty of the day. Bucciarati took a sip from his glass, "nothing better then a cold glass of wine on a day like this. " he would get the occasional hello from locals he knew as well as glances by curious tourists.

One person, in particular, came up to him. A young women, maybe around her late 20's with a camera around her neck. "Signore, if I may ask. May I take a few photos of you? I'm an artist and I often take pictures of things that inspire me!" To any human being the request would be rather offputting. Indeed it was, at least to Bruno. But a normal person would also decline the offer. Bucciarati didn't see the harm of a few photos, if anything he'd call himself quite photogenic despite his semi-cold demeanor. Plus to deprive an artist of inspiration didn't sit right with him; so he agreed.

~~~~~~~~~

"That artist lied... or she sold my pictures. Either or isn't good, but damn..." Bruno skimmed through the pages. Person after person, some of them he even knew. He stopped on one page and well maybe call it fate but it was the page of the number 1 Bachelorette. Giorno auditable gasped as the sight.

"She's very beautiful... I see why they placed so highly..." Mista and Narancia came from the other side taking peaks.

"Yo, you're right Giorno! She is really beautiful. Father owns a successful flower shop too!" Narancia's cheeks turned slightly red. Mista closed his eyes, humming to himself as if he was fantasizing about something.

"Girl has looks, money, and property. She's a guy's dream girl honestly!" Bruno slammed the magazine closed, proceeding to roll it up. Then uses Sticky Fingers to smack him to the ground. "HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

"How dare you think like that Mista. Loving someone for their 'perks'..." Bucciarati stared down upon Mista, disappointment, and guilt filling Mista's soul.

Bruno just took the magazine and left. He needed time to make sense of all of it... "geeze Mista... nice to know who you really are!" Giorno snickered as he took a seat at a near by table.

"Guys, I wasn't talking of myself!!! Come on, I would never!"

~~~~~

Bruno wondered the town, just processing it all. All this attention wasn't out of the kindness of people's hearts. It was some lousy list that said he had perks... To now have to wonder if he was being used was a terrifying thought.

"Please, let me go... I don't want this at all!" Bruno was returning to reality. Overhearing 2 people talking in the alleyways.

"Oh come on beautiful, I've got a lot to offer!"

"I'm sure you do, but I am not wanting a relationship! Please for away! I don't even know you!" Her hands try to wiggle free but she was what Bruno could assume was pinned.

"Look missy, think about your answer real carefully. If you don't date me ill-"

"You'll what?" Bruno stood firmly at the alley entrance. The man turned to see him, catching a glimpse of the girl as well. (H/c) hair laced with small flowers, (s/t) skin, as well of (e/c) eyes.

"Its none of your business buddy! So how about you leave me and my girlfriend alone!" Bruno continued to walk closer, his expression as blank as he could manage. "H-Hey! I said stay back!"

"You know I find it amusing when scum like you exist in this world. The least you can do is accept the girl has no feelings for you."

"Like you know shit pal!"

"I heard it all, the entire conversation. As well, the fear upon her face right now speaks wonders." Bruno's steps were heavy, each one making a distinct clack.

"I said stay back you bastard!!" He dragged the poor girl by the hair restraining her arms. Sliding a knife from his own pocket, placing it above her throat.

"Sticky Fingers!" The girl closed her eyes as the blue figure hit the man square in the face. Knocking him down the alley. The guy cowards back, confused beyond belief "next time don't try to force yourself upon a harmless girl. Or do I need to beat the lesson into you?"

"No! No no no! I'm sorry I'm sorry! Please spare me!!"

"Then run." The man ran off in a rush, terror riddled his face as the bruises started to solidify. The screams echoed as he ran into the darkness. Bruno turned back the the girl, she stood against the wall paralyzed from fear. "Hey, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" She shook her head. Taking a good look the most harm was some scratches and maybe a few bruises, nothing life-threatening. Bruno tilted his head, she looked familiar.

"Uh.. mister, thank you for your help. I was really scared that guy was gonna hurt me." She clutched to her basket filled with different flowers. She picked out a small white lily from the batch, extending it to him. "Men back and forth have been cat-calling me all day. It's quite overwhelming." Her smile showed a sparkle of pure innocence. Bruno clutched his first, glancing at the magazine he held. It struck him, it was her, the flower shop's daughter.

"I believe I can show you why this is happening. Come with me and we can tend your wounds as well." The girl looked up in admiration. A shy smile as well as heated cheeks. She took his hand as a quiet acceptance. "Pardon my manners, I'm Bruno Bucciarati. It's my pleasure miss?"

"(L/n), (y/n) (l/n). I owe you my life, Signore."

AN: I might make a part 2... not sure

[mwolf0epsilon]

First off, before everyone comes after my butt with their "No Fun Allowed" and "Cringe" signs, this is in no way something to be taken as gospel or insightful. It's not a prophetic enforcement of canon. It's literally a theory done for fun, and to try to piece the Bendy Crack up Comics into the general and messy lore of the BatIM franchise. 

Most of you get this and don't need a big wordy warning about fanon interpretation, but a lot of peculiar people tend to show up in my ask box hoping to start a fuss over my headcanons and AU ideas, so I thought to be nice and leave a polite and diplomatic "Kindly Fuck Off" sign at the door for them.

With that said, there will be mild spoilers, carry on of your own volition, down below under the cut that will definitely show up because Tumblr mobile is a functional app that's never given me trouble!!!

---

[[MORE]]

The Bendy Franchise has an established issue with cohesion in its lore. We all know what I'm talking about, we all have reservations about canonical character discrepancies (game vs novel vs guidebook) and we all have been racking our brains with a few holes in the timeline, as well as how BatDR (which is neither prequel nor sequel) will fit into this, since it's connected to BatDS and that's an established prequel to BatIM.

Granted I myself am missing a lot of pieces, having to scrounge around for info since I can't really get any of the reading material myself and rely heavily on @british-hero (who owns the novel plus got her copy of the comics yesterday), a very incomplete wikie, and analysis and theories from SuperHorrorBro's Bendy videos.

Heck, I also rely on a lot of gameplay footage, because BatIM has a bit of subtle storytelling through visual design of its levels, and hints of how certain characters work through a few game mechanics.

Through this mishmash of collecting puzzle pieces for the greater picture I even have a few notes on my phone to piece together certain events in established dates, something which comes very in handy for this theory since it talks about two particular characters, the Projectionist and Brute Boris (and I guess Twisted Alice to some extent but it's more of a note on some interesting thoughts I have of her).

Without further ado, here's what this theory is all about: Why did Norman become the Projectionist, and why did Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris?

If you think about it, there's only two creatures in the studio that really seem out of place in the world of BatIM, and that's Prophet Sammy and the Projectionist. Neither are inherently similar to any of the cartoon characters, nor are they considered to be Lost Ones. They're certainly not Searchers, but while we know Sammy is unique because his method of transformation was different, we never got an explanation for Norman's. It could be that it's a process similar to BatDR's new enemy type that's larger and seems to have bits and bobs stuck to it, but then those big guys seem like the equivalent to Swollen Searchers for the Lost Ones. The Projectionist doesn't really fit the puzzle.

Or at least he didn't.

With the introduction of the Crack up Comics collection, we get three new characters that were definitely designed in the same manner that the Butcher Gang was. Beginning with a corrupt monster forms and then giving way to perfect and pristine rubberhose toon forms.

I'm talking about Miss Twisted, the Brute, and Cameraman.

The villainous trio from the Souper Boris comic strip.

To us it's obvious the artists created them in parallel to Twisted Alice, Brute Boris and the Projectionist, but to the actual canon this actually has a bit of an impact on the Projectionist's existence.

Why, you ask? Because those characters were introduced between 1936 and 1940.

Bendy Crack up Comics table of contents, showcasing the publishing dates of the strips.

For anyone who doesn't know (either from not paying attention to the Joey Drew Studios channel audio logs, or from not owning the books) the Ink Machine wasn't conceptualized or installed until 1942/1943. Putting that into perspective, the only other thing that happened in Joey Drew Studios in 1940, was the conceptualization of Bendyland (which is likely the origin of the idea for the Ink Machine itself).

This means that Cameraman existed well before the Projectionist ever came to be, and that made me think about another thing: The Ink's apparent sentience.

I'll be frank, the Ink is very hard nut to crack. I consider it a form of alchemized entity, others consider it pure black magic, and I'm pretty sure Joey Drew himself had no idea what he was dealing with when he began using it. The fact of the matter is that the Ink is alive and that it has its own agenda. One that coincides with Joey's, out of mutual interest.

In the novels it seems to want to be free, but it can't exactly do that as a formless liquid, so it tries to body-snatch people (ex: Sammy and Buddy's grandpa).

When Joey tries to use it to give life to Bendy through nothing more than using the Ink and a template (likely a character model sheet) the Ink tries to follow the model but immediately becomes a distorted humanoid version of it (which honestly rings so many fucking alarm bells on its own). Things… Escalate there on out, with Joey trying to perfect the method and only managing to succeed through Daniel Lewek (and many other nameless Boris Clones), Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor.

An important thing to take from this, however, is that by trying to perfect this method Joey not only taught the Ink to reshape things into viable referenced material, but that he had to have lost control of just how many souls were being pumped through the Ink Machine for him to monitor and keep up.

Sammy started killing people when he completely turned, and it didn't seem to take long for him to cut down people in likely both the music and art departments. At this point he had no self-restraint and was completely wrapped around inky fingers and Joey's lies. 

Norman is one such potential victim, and Dot and Buddy even passed by his ink-wrapped body while fleeing.

Now, the thing about trying to follow a specific guide and not having the actual means to make it exactly the same thing, is an easy enough notion to get (as shows like "Nailed It", and years of trying to perfect visual style mimicry, have taught me).

The Ink likely had the template it needed (maybe a printed copy of Souper Boris that got thrown around in the chaos), the insight of what Norman's role in the studio was, the amount of mass it needed to consume and transform his dead body, but not exactly the right sort of… Centerpiece for it...

Cameraman using his lens to light up his path.

But what's a projector besides a bigger fancier camera? Both blink, both take film, same thing right? The ink doesn't see the difference and just stitches together this humanoid bootleg cameraman with the pieces it finds that are similar enough.

Mechanical blinky head? Check.

Strange round disc near the belly? There's a speaker. That's round! Check.

Film? There we go, a nice big round reel full of film in it, let's put it near the head, that's how it works right? Check.

Lastly, no Joey to actually direct this artistic recreation of a one-off character. The Ink did it all by itself while he was off getting his hand broken by a rightfully upset Buddy Boris.

If you look at it objectively it makes sense that being the projectionist tasked with not only recording and maintaining the projectors themselves, that the entity in the Ink would pick Cameraman as a template for Norman's transformed self.

It also makes sense that the Projectionist is so off-putting in the studio. He's almost perfect, but not quite because there just weren't the right materials. He's stuck in between Twisted Alice and the Butcher Gang clones as another failed recreation.

Moving on to the next question on why Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris, when she hadn't done the same to any of the other Boris Clones.

It's hard to say really, but I think it all comes down to who Twisted Alice really is. It's very likely that, as Susie Campbell, she would have knowledge of the comic strips. A few were most likely made into cartoon shorts even (which isn't an unusual assumption to make), and maybe Susie voiced a few background characters for said shorts.

Susie may have lost her role as Alice, but before Joey came to her with his proposition for the "special project" it's very likely that she remained in the studio, forced to do the voices of characters that weren't noteworthy or that she felt completely disconnected from (talking chairs and singing hens really don't become beloved fan-favourites) . Maybe if the Souper Boris story was made into a short, she might have voiced Miss Twisted (which honestly would be personally insulting considering she once had the role of the main heroine).

Point is, Susie knows her lore, and that translates to Twisted Alice's repertoire of insightful knowledge on the abominations lurking around the studio.

She never did turn other Boris clones into brutish lackeys because at the time she didn't need to. But it doesn't mean she hadn't considered it. Henry's disruptive behaviour is just what she needed to put that plan into motion.

There was already a "Cameraman" walking about, one that could easily rip apart anything it came across, so acquiring the means to recreate the "Brute" would have been benefiting from her point of view. The Projectionist doesn't take orders and can't be reasoned with, so if she could make something just as strong that took her orders she could, theoretically, be safe from most terrors in the studio. If that didn't work, she would still likely send others to their death by simply sending them down to Level 14, or maybe lure the Projectionist to them herself (just because he doesn't take orders doesn't mean she can't use him to achieve her end goals).

Miss Twisted, the Brute and Cameraman in their evil swamp lair.

But why Buddy Boris specifically? Why couldn't she have used any of the bodies laying around? Freshness most likely. Rigor mortis is probably still a thing, even for living cartoons. Easier to work a fresh dead body than a bunch of stiff wolves.

That's at least why I think Brute Boris is a thing. Susie's knowledge of most Bendy cartoon/comic strip characters, taking inspiration from the Projectionist's presence, and honestly a very twisted sense of humor and irony. In her quest to become a Perfect Alice, the heroine of the show, she ended up becoming just as antagonistic (although more sadistic) as Miss Twisted, a Bendy comic strip villainess.

[lacertae-dreamscape]

I love u pls teach me how to write I want to start but idk how to put ideas into words

honestly the first thing is just... write, u know?

it seems trite and stupid logic suggestion, but. if you don't start, u never do anything with it.

put your idea down in whatever way you want -prose, poetry, etc- and then work on it. polish it with more words and details, colour it with gentle brushes and its ok if its not satisfying. that's what trying again is for. you take what you've written and rework it. (god. edit. edit 10 times. add things. remove things. look up things on the internet for inspo. do ALL the things. unapologetically.)

but also don't do it like me where i start with a basic idea and then build an entire novel on it bcs im too verbose

build on your words, experiment, abandon what doesn't work and try again. like neil gaiman said once, 'just write'

then, if it feels better for you, write for yourself. and i dont (just) mean 'haha ignore other people and just write what u want' that. can work a lot of the times but if you are like me and crave feedback, it doesn't *quite* help. part of u will always write for others too.

what i mean is: when i started writing, i didn't publish things. i did super self indulgent shit like every other teen writer out there by doing, wait for it, mary sue fics and self inserts. *FOR YEARS*

i wrote pokémon fanfics and animorphs fanfics without at the time knowing it was 'fanfic' (bless sheltered mini-me for being like 'i wanna write me inside the animorphs' and not realising it had a name bcs i was completely abstracted from the concept of a fandom)

it was easier because there was a constant script to follow (hi. my name is [name]. i cannot tell you my surname, because aliens will find me, and everything will end. [here's a description of what happens in the general plot, who are our enemies, who are our alllies, who i am, and then the story starts, and it goes from there) so i found it easy to get into it, bcs the rules were easier. now i abhor first person stories but back then it was normal and i liked them.

and i would probably die of shame and embarrassmnt if anyone were to find the actual *papers* i wrote it on, or after that, the pc files i wrote, but ive grown enough at least to be able to admit i did it.

nobody will ever ever ever EVER catch a single whiff of that. its done and gone. for my eyes only. cringe shit. i wrote my version of entire animorphs books of fanfics.

YET. that cringe shit motivated the fuck out of me, esp in a period where i was already sad and stressed and anxious. was it badly written? u BET. but i was RLY into writing it. it was fun. it was indulgent.

this allows you to write whatever the fuck you want without fear of people judging or nosing around in your business, and it lets u explore and try things out in a way that makes it fun.

i started posting in my first fandom (haha it was beyblade. no judgement, i missed all the big serious fandoms by 10 miles and 10 inches) and looking back it was pure shit. i was the specific 'god this person uses the thesaurus too much' bcs i wasn't native english speaker, so i did a lot of grammar mistakes

yet there were people who in that fandom looked out and reached out for me with nice comments and it helped me thrive, even if the fic was shit. it helped me feel like it was ok to continue.

i feel a lot of fandoms now miss that delicate feeling of 'helping this writer out even if they're not good' because nowadays most fandoms don't actively comment on fanfic in general, unless ur in one of the big fandoms, so its hard to feel motivated to continue, but writing takes time

so you have to start now in order to build urself a base to stand on.

another suggestion is, from a person who went through it over time, find people who enjoy your ideas with whom you can talk it out, and expand them. start putting down ur idea as it is, like 'so i had this idea that i wanna write and its like. just character A standing on top of a hill, reaching out for character B who is grappling at the edge and about to fall, and i want them to look at one another with despair and urgency and then A's hand slips and B lets go- and i want to write what happens next but im not sure' and have someone go 'do u want B to die so u explore that, or do u want B to go through some shit but with a happy ending' and u move from there.

you have no idea how many times ive been saved simply by talking plot out w others to fix some shit.

also something neil gaiman said is that if a friend tells u something needs fixing they're right, but if they detail to you exactly *what* needs fixing and how, they're wrong. people can help you, but the writing is yours. u feel it in ur heart, even if it takes a bit, ok?

there's no big, secret way to write, except take inspo from writers u enjoy reading from (both published or not) and find your own way. do you like writing dialogue more? do you like descriptions?

find something u RLY RLY like and write that thing, obsessively, and without shame, until you're satisfied.

if you really want to start writing, if it calls for you, nothing can stop you, except starting. so give the middle finger to that big hesitance and throw urself into it.

so what i meant is, tl;dr = if you want to write, start writing. close ur ears to everybody else and throw words down. the editing will come later, adding and polishing will come later. even if what you write is simple and barren, you work on it 10, 30 times and add to it. take inspiration from what writers you like wrote, their styles, the way they word things, experiment, find friends to talk it out, and go for it. i believe in you, and in the kind of person you want to become. if u truly *want* to write, u don't need to start strong or be awesome right away, u just need to want it enough to continue through.

[magicshoppurple]

The 25 Journal Prompts For Self-reflection (now answered)

1. Two words/phrases that make me laugh

I hate snakeu. I don't know, it's just an army thing. But it kind of makes me laugh everythime i think about it.

2. My life in 7 years

In 7 years, I'm gonna be 27. So i want my life to be happy. Been to Venice already, to South Korea, Japan. Met BTS, GOT7, and Ed Sheeran. Pursuing my career as a writer. No boyfriend. Built my parents a good house. Bought a farm land. Bought 2 boats, one for fishing the other for touring. Have a car. Lots of books. Written many stories. Living with pets.

3. What do i need to get off my chest today

A good cup of coffee, i guess. With a pen in hand and a paper to write on. Just like the good old times.

4. How can i simplify my life in little ways

An island girl, living an island life. Pet lover and writer with a heart.

5. What advice should i give myself right now

Don't let love take your dreams away.

6. How can i make time for things that bring me joy

Just wake up early and do some stuffs. A lot of time in the morning. Pure silence. No distractions.

7. What makes me happy

This may vary all the time. But this time, what makes me really happy is that i passed the civil service exam that i lost hope for and went on a ten-day vacation with my mom and sister.

8. Ten interesting facts about myself

1. I love music.

2. I love Kpop.

3. I love reading.

4. I love watching Kdramas till 3 am.

5. I write blogs about stuffs that inspire me

6. I love animals.

7. I love history.

8. I love movies.

9. I love adventure.

10. I can swim.

9. Five fears that i have

1. Physical darkness

2. Psychological darkness

3. People that cannot be trusted

4. Forgotten dreams

5. Unknown future

10. What am i thankful for

Right now, i am thankful that i just came back from our vacation safely.

11. Five things i would like to do more

1. Writing

2. Reading

3. Going out to see the sunrise

4. Playing with my pets outside

5. Helping my mother doing the house chores

12. Things i love about this time of my life

About this time of my life, i think i love my newly bought blue notebook, the chinese movie i just watched earlier, the ferero nutella that my uncle just gave us, the kdrama Touch Your Heart that makes my heart really flattered, Lee Dong Wook and Yoo In Na. I also love being back home and seeing jungkook, chimchim, tofu, kalderen, kabo, and smeagol. And, the couch i am lying on right now. Also, the feeling that i got inspired to write again.

13. How do i relax

Most times, it'd be lying on the cough watching tv. Other times, It'd be sleeping on the hammock while listening to music. Or reading in our cottage with a cup of coffee in hand. And sometimes, it's playing with my dogs at the beach, running wild with the wind in my face.

14. What do i feel strongly about

I feel strongly about being an ARMY. Because its not that easy. Beacuse it's really gotten into me. Beacuse i love BTS, and it will insult me if anyone makes bad comments about them. They're my idol and i live looking at them as my inspiration.

15. What are my priorities in life

My number one priority is to find a job so that i could help my parents already. Number two is to suppprt my sister's study. Number three is to travel. Number four is to be a writer. And the list just goes on.

16. Five things to do less often

1. Being lazy

2. Not doing anything

3. Being pessimistic

4. Getting scared

5. Getting worried

17. What were my highs and lows this week?

My highs this week are when i passed that civil service exam and that 10-day vacation. About the exam, i never thought i could really pass it because i didn't even finished it. I lost hope already but miracles do happen. I got my miracle, thanks God. And about the vacation. Well, it's been a good one. I get to meet cousins and relatives i haven't seen before or in a long time.

And my lows this week is the realization that i may be losing my dreams one day because i grow up or fall in love. It makes me sad to even think about it.

18. Write a letter to my teenage self

Since i haven't been a teenager for a year now, I'm missing that self already. To my teenage self, you haven't been so reckless. Don't spend your time crying over guys and getting depressed about the me now. I'm truly fine. Worry about your self. Go out, enjoy, read your favorite books, write, and get inspired. And also, study well. But not hard. You shouldn't have a boyfriend, but it happens anyway. It's okay. Just don't get suffocated on love. Your feelings will fade anyway, trust me. Lmao 😂😂

Just love yourself more.

19. What do i need to be content

That i have what i need right now - a food to eat, a family to come home to, pets to cuddle, books to read, songs to listen, notebooks to write on, a cellphone to do stuffs i love, and many more.

20. Name three things i do well

1. Writing

2. Crafting

3. Reading

21. What are my biggest goals

To travel with my family. To meet BTS. To build a dream house. To publish even just one book. To know Japanese/Korean language. Above all that, TO BE HAPPY.

22. What do i love about myself

I love that i am continuously learning to love myself. That i am no longer in the impression of trying to chase some guy. That I'm not in love. That guys can no longer make a fool of me.

23. One way i would like to grow next year

My character. That's been a little bit off the track lately. I hate that i am not good to people. That anyone could annoy me so easily.

24. What would i be doing if money wasn't an object

To travel, perhaps. If by object means not an issue, then I'd probably be gone somewhere in the world and never coming back.

25. What's on my mind right now

The chinese movie called suddenly 17. It's about dreams dissappearing because the main character grow up. Or somewhere along the way, she gave it up for the man she love who only broke her heart after ten years of their relationship.

THAT MOVIE JUST MADE ME REALIZE THAT I WOULD NEVER EVER GIVE UP MY DREAMS FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

||05.31.19

[citylightsbooks]

Writing from Fierce Love: Mira Sethi in Conversation

This is an excerpt of a free event for our virtual events series, City Lights LIVE. This event features Mira Sethi in conversation with Miranda Popkey, celebrating Sethi’s new short fiction collection Are You Enjoying? published by Knopf. This event was originally broadcast live via Zoom and hosted by our events coordinator Peter Maravelis. You can listen to the entire event on our podcast. You can watch it in full as well on our YouTube channel.

Miranda Popkey: I wanted to ask you about your protagonist at the end of that story ["Tomboy"]. And I won't spoil the twists and turns that the story takes, but she has a moment with her husband, where she's remarking on a mutual friend. And [the protagonist] describes her as “brave.” And I think that “brave” is a word that's overused when describing works of literature, but I'm curious what it means for her, for your character, but also for you, to be publishing work that is quite daring and that is really trying to paint a picture of different pockets, different communities, in Pakistan that we ignorant Americans may not be familiar with.

Mira Sethi: Miranda, thank you so much for asking that. And I'm not just saying this because I'm in conversation with you, but this has to the most thoughtful question I've been asked about my book, because a lot of the questions I've been asked so far have been about Pakistan and politics, and we’ll get to that. That's also very important. But thank you for asking that.

As far as my protagonist--without giving too much away--she calls the other lady “brave,” because that other lady is living life on her own terms. And it's not easy to live life on your own terms in a country like Pakistan, even if you have a lot of privilege, because of issues around sexuality and the often burdensome imperatives of family and your clan or your tribe and your parents. And then the larger superstructure above that, which is the state and the things that trickle down from the state. So my character says [the other woman] is brave because she, herself, is living this dual life and she hasn't yet been able to come to terms with what it is that she wants. Although this, I imagine, is a turning point for her.

And for me, yes, I did think a lot about what the repercussions might be for writing about queer lives in Pakistan. But, you know, I'm in my thirties now, and I believe very strongly in a certain set of principles. I'm an outspoken feminist in Pakistan. That sometimes gets me into trouble. And I am going to write the things that I know and I love deeply. This book actually comes from a place of fierce love, and trauma and heartache and comedy, but mostly it comes from a place of love. And buttressing my fear is my love for people who are struggling to live life on their own terms. And so I wrote this hoping that if there are--I know I have so many queer friends in and out of Pakistan--I'm hoping that maybe if they read this, they can glimpse their lives and feel seen, because fiction is ultimately the desire to write, the desire to be seen fully.

Miranda Popkey: Absolutely. I completely agree that it's hard to imagine a life that you have not seen represented. And I think that's the experience that your protagonist is having. In that moment, she's seeing the life that she wishes she could live. Instead, as you say, she's living sort of a double life where she's married, but she does have queer desires.

Mira Sethi: Absolutely. And I didn't just struggle with this. I was kind of petrified while writing some of these, and not just "Tomboy" but also the title story, "Are You Enjoying?" because it's about infidelity, a love affair, an illicit relationship, a taboo relationship.

So I'm writing about sex, you know? Yes, I worried a lot about that. I'm worried about if somebody screenshots a really vivid passage and then says, “Look at her. She's spreading vulgarity.” I mean, this is something I deal with in my life as an actress as well. But yes, at the level of the sentence, it's definitely something I think about, but I didn't ever let that stop me from saying what I wanted. And in many ways, Miranda, I think it actually makes you more creative. I am not wishing censorship upon anyone. God knows, when there was censorship in Russia, people still wrote. There is a ton of censorship in Pakistan, and we still manage to tell stories. And it's not great, but it does force your most creative instincts out of you in a way that when you can say things very openly and very clearly, the mind isn't concentrated. It leads to a certain concentration of the mind when you're forced to say things in code. And I did for "Tomboy" a little bit.

Miranda Popkey: I think just from the craft perspective, it's also interesting that the story that is most explicit in its treatment of queer themes, and most affirming and its treatment of queer themes, is also the only first-person story. I think that's an exciting, exceptional choice.

Mira Sethi: May I tell you a cute little story? So I wrote this story, which had a very different shape and form, literally three weeks before I submitted it to my editor. And I showed it to a friend who was queer. And she said to me, very politely, she said, “You know, Mira, I love you, and you're a great writer, but you're not queer. And you're writing this queer story from the point of view of queer desire.” My protagonist in the early drafts would look at women in a certain way. And she said to me, “You’re great, but this is not working. You don't know what queer desire is like, so don't try and enter that consciousness. But you do know about patriarchy. So why don't you reframe this story from the point of view of patriarchy.”

And man, that was such a hallelujah moment, because I was really struggling with the story in the early drafts. And then as soon as she said that, I was like, “Oh my god, yes.” This was actually reading as comic writing, because I don't know about queer desire. And then I reframed the whole story. And it was a real breakthrough moment for me, because then the story just ran when I started reframing it from the point of view of patriarchy.

Miranda Popkey: Well, I'm glad that your friend gave you this wonderful piece of advice.

Can you talk about your editing and revision process?

Mira Sethi: Oh my god. The most false thing about becoming a writer is that you have a book and you get to show off your book, and nobody talks about how much real writing went into it. I mean, I'm practically tripping over my words right now because I rewrote the shit out of all of these stories. And the writing takes you to places that you hadn't anticipated.

I often say that I think in order to write. The writing is what tells me what it is that I think. So after I’ve written the thing, I know what it is that I think. So the editing process works like this: I write something. It's very raw. I'm actually not self-conscious when I start writing, because I know it's vomit. And I know there's nothing to be done with the vomit, you just do it. And then later on, you can go and clean it, but it gives you something to work with. And so I write, and then I clean it up, and then I think around draft fifteen, I show it to my editor. It takes at least fifteen drafts. And then they say “Okay, you've got a scaffolding, but where is this going?” So I've worked on these seven stories for five years. That's a long time for seven stories. It's almost a story a year. Writing is really quite grueling.

Miranda Popkey: I agree. My joke about my first novel, my only novel, is that I had to think about it for twenty years before I could write any of it.

Mira Sethi: And you said that in your acknowledgments as well, which I actually really appreciate.

Miranda Popkey: Are you the kind of writer who plans it all in advance or are you one of those who need to surprise themselves and somehow, through the writing itself, the ideas emerge?

Mira Sethi: It's the latter. It's exactly what you said. I don't think, in order to write, I write so that I may know what it is that I'm thinking. And I don't plan in advance. And honestly, this is not a critique of writers who plan in advance. I can't relate to it at all, because so much of the beauty of me writing fiction is discovering things that I didn't know. For instance, my take on identity politics. Yes, of course, I'm progressive, and I have a take. But it was only after writing this book that I really understood what I felt about the world. And I think that is one of the most beautiful things about writing fiction. There is a kind of slow dredging up of your subconscious. And then you're like, “Oh, this is what I think about this issue.” It's really quite amazing.

Miranda Popkey: I completely agree. I write in large part to figure out what it is that I think and when I get the words on the page, I know if they're right, and I know if they're wrong, and if it's just a thought it's much vaguer.

What advice do you have for aspiring writers?

Mira Sethi: If it consumes you, you'll probably end up doing it. Because I find that is the case with most writers.

And have a community around you! Something that I don't have in Karachi is a community of writers. And I miss it. I have a community of actors, but I don't have a community of writers.

And workshop your work with people you respect and admire and keep going. And, you're not going to get it right the first time or the tenth time or the twentieth time, but you might get it right the fiftieth time, and you'll have to be in it for the long haul. It's actually quite painful.

Because you don't get it right. And then one day you get it right.

***

Purchase Are You Enjoying? from City Lights Bookstore.

[astrovksoni]

How to start right in astronomy?

"DEAR friends today we discuss about that how can we start right in astronomy." I have always been fascinated with the stars and universe. What would you suggest my first step be to get into the hobby, so that I might get the most enjoyment out of it?"

It's a good question, one that deserves better answers than most beginners find. Many newcomers to astronomy call us in exasperation after blundering down some wrong trail that leaves them lost and frustrated. Such experiences, widely shared, create a general public impression that astronomy is a tough hobby to get into. But this impression is altogether wrong and unnecessary.

Many other hobbies that have magazines, conventions, and vigorous club scenes have developed effective ways to welcome and orient beginners. Why can't we? For starters, novice astronomers would have more success if a few simple, well-chosen direction signs were posted for them at the beginning of the trail.

What advice would help beginners the most? Sky & Telescope editors brainstormed this question. Pooling thoughts from more than 200 years of collective experience answering the phone and mail, we came up with a number of pointers to help newcomers past the pitfalls and onto the straightest route to success.

1. Ransack your public library. Astronomy is a learning hobby. Its joys come from intellectual discovery and knowledge of the cryptic night sky. But unless you live near an especially large and active astronomy club, you have to make these discoveries, and gain this knowledge, by yourself. In other words, you need to become self-taught.

The public library is the beginner's most important astronomical tool. Maybe you found Sky & Telescopethere. Comb through the astronomy shelf for beginner's guides. Look for aids to learning the stars you see in the evening sky. One of the best is the big two-page sky map that appears near the center of every month's Sky & Telescope, which the library should have. When a topic interests you, follow it up in further books.

Many people's first impulse, judging from the phone calls, is to look for someone else to handle their education -- an evening course offering, a planetarium, or some other third party. These can be stimulating and helpful. But almost never do they present what you need to know right now, and you waste an enormous amount of time commuting when you should be observing. Self-education is something you do yourself, with books, using the library.

2. Learn the sky with the naked eye. Astronomy is an outdoor nature hobby. Go into the night and learn the starry names and patterns overhead. Sky & Telescope will always have its big, round all-sky map for evening star-finding. Other books and materials will fill in the lore and mythology of the constellations the map shows, and how the stars change through the night and the seasons. Even if you go no further, the ability to look up and say "There's Arcturus!" will provide pleasure, and perhaps a sense of place in the cosmos, for the rest of your life.

3. Don't rush to buy a telescope. Many hobbies require a big cash outlay up front. But astronomy, being a learning hobby, has no such entrance fee. Conversely, paying a fee will not buy your way in.

Thinking otherwise is the most common beginner's mistake. Half the people who call for help ask, "How do I see anything with this %@&*# telescope?!" They assumed that making a big purchase was the essential first step.

It doesn't work that way. To put a telescope to rewarding use, you first need to know the constellations as seen with the naked eye, be able to find things among them with sky charts, know something of what a telescope will and will not do, and know enough about the objects you're seeking to recognize and appreciate them.

The most successful, lifelong amateur astronomers are often the ones who began with the least equipment. What they lacked in gear they had to make up for in study, sky knowledge, map use, and fine-tuning their observing eyes. These skills stood them in good stead when the gear came later.

Is there a shortcut? In recent years computerized, robotic scopes have come on the market that point at astronomical objects automatically. They represent an enormous change. No longer do you need to know the sky.

Once fully set up, a computerized scope is a lot faster than the old way of learning the sky and using a map -- assuming you know what's worth telling the computer to point at. But they're expensive, and opinions about them are divided. For beginners, at least, there's some consensus that a computerized scope can be a crutch that prevents you from learning to get around by yourself and will leave you helpless if anything goes wrong. Moreover, you miss out on the pleasures of making your own journeys through the heavens.

At star parties beneath gorgeous black, star-sprinkled skies, we have seen beginners struggling for hours with electronics when they should have been sweeping the heavens overhead. Is this just the carping of old fogeys? The jury is still out.

4. Start with binoculars. A pair of binoculars is the ideal "first telescope," for several reasons. Binoculars show you a wide field, making it easy to find your way around; a higher-power telescope magnifies only a tiny, hard-to-locate spot of sky. Binoculars give you a view that's right-side up and straight in front of you, making it easy to see where you're pointing. An astronomical telescope's view is upside down, sometimes mirror-imaged, and usually presented at right angles to the line of sight. Binoculars are also fairly inexpensive, widely available, and a breeze to carry and store.

And their performance is surprisingly respectable. Ordinary 7- to 10-power binoculars improve on the naked-eye view about as much as a good amateur telescope improves on the binoculars. In other words they get you halfway there for something like a tenth to a quarter of the price -- an excellent cost-benefit ratio.

For astronomy, the larger the front lenses are the better. High optical quality is important too. But anybinocular that's already knocking around the back of your closet is enough to launch an amateur-astronomy career.

5. Get serious about maps and guidebooks. Once you have the binoculars, what do you do with them? You can have fun looking at the Moon and sweeping the star fields of the Milky Way, but that will wear thin after a while. However, if you've learned the constellations and obtained detailed sky maps, binoculars can keep you busy for a lifetime.

They'll reveal most of the 109 "M objects," the star clusters, galaxies, and nebulae cataloged by Charles Messier in the late 18th century. Binoculars will show the ever-changing positions of Jupiter's satellites and the crescent phase of Venus. On the Moon you can learn dozens of craters, plains, and mountain ranges by name. You can split scores of colorful double stars and spend years following the fadings and brightenings of variable stars. If you know what to look for.

A sailor of the seas needs top-notch charts, and so does a sailor of the stars. Fine maps bring the fascination of hunting out faint secrets in hidden sky realms. Many reference books describe what's to be hunted and the nature of the objects you find. Moreover, the skills you'll develop using maps and reference books with binoculars are exactly the skills you'll need to put a telescope to good use.

6. Find other amateurs. Self-education is fine as far as it goes, but there's nothing like sharing an interest with others. There are more than 400 astronomy clubs in North America alone; see the directory on Sky & Telescope's Web site. Call the clubs near you. Maybe you'll get invited to monthly meetings or nighttime star parties and make a lot of new friends. Clubs range from tiny to huge, from moribund to vital. But none would have published a phone number unless they hoped you would call.

Computer networks offer another way to contact other amateurs. CompuServe, America Online, and the Internet all have active astronomy areas. These present a constant flow of interesting news and chatter by amateurs who are quick to offer help, opinions, and advice.

7. When it's time for a telescope, plunge in deep.Eventually you'll know you're ready. You'll have spent hours poring over books and ad brochures. You'll know the different kinds of telescopes, what you can expect of them, and what you'll do with the one you pick.

This is no time to scrimp on quality; shun the flimsy, semi-toy "department store" scopes that may have caught your eye. The telescope you want has two essentials. One is a solid, steady, smoothly working mount. The other is high-quality optics -- "diffraction-limited" or better. You may also want large aperture (size), but don't forget portability and convenience. The telescope shouldn't be so heavy that you can't tote it outdoors, set it up, and take it down reasonably easily. The old saying is true: "The best telescope for you is the one you'll use the most.

Can't afford it? Save up until you can. Another year of using binoculars while building a savings account will be time you'll never regret. It's foolish to blow half-accumulated telescope money on something second rate that will disappoint. Or consider building the scope yourself, an activity that many clubs support.

8. Lose your ego. Astronomy teaches patience and humility -- and you'd better be prepared to learn them. There's nothing you can do about the clouds blocking your view, the extreme distance and faintness of the objects you desire most, or the timing of the long-anticipated event for which you got all set up one minute late. The universe will not bend to your wishes; you must take it on its own terms.

Most of the objects within reach of any telescope, no matter how large or small it is, are barely within its reach. Most of the time you'll be hunting for things that appear very dim, small, or both. If flashy visuals are what you're after, go watch TV.

"Worthiness" is the term entering the amateur language for the humble perseverance that brings the rewards in this hobby. The term was coined by Ken Fulton, author of The Light-Hearted Astronomer(1984) -- a book describing the hobby as a jungle full of snares, quicksand, and wild beasts that only those with the spiritual skills of a martial artist can traverse unmauled. It's really not that bad -- but there are definitely times when a Zen calmness will help you through.

9. Relax and have fun. Part of losing your ego is not getting upset at your telescope because it's less than perfect. Perfection doesn't exist, no matter what you paid. Don't be compulsive about things like cleaning lenses and mirrors or the organization of your observing notebook.

And don't feel compelled to do "useful work" right away. Ultimately, the most rewarding branches of amateur astronomy involve scientific data collecting -- venturing into the nightly wilderness to bring home a few bits of data that will advance humanity's knowledge of the universe in some tiny but real way. Such a project often marks the transformation from "beginner" to "advanced amateur," from casual sightseer to cosmic fanatic. But it only works for some people, and only when they're good and ready.

Amateur astronomy should be calming and fun. If you find yourself getting wound up over your eyepiece's aberrations or Pluto's invisibility, take a deep breath and remember that you're doing this because you enjoy it. Take it only as fast or as slow, as intense or as easy, as is right for you.