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bellawoso · 7 months

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I Know Places

Ona Batlle x fem!reader

You and Ona had always been rivals, whether it was national rivals, or club rivals, you always seemed to end up on opposing sides in women’s rival teams.

England vs Spain. Barcelona vs Lyon. And now Manchester United vs Manchester City. With both you and the Spaniard playing for Manchester teams in the WSL, it allowed for you two to see more of each other and eventually extended your rival status to being friends ever since a bad tackle from the brunette, and a follow on instagram from her later that night.

After some casual chatting and the occasional comment on each other’s instagram posts, the defender soon asked you on a date, you were nervous to say the least, but the date went well and after a few more you were quick to start dating.

Being together for over a year now, and being able to live with each other, your relationship was going well. Escaping the prying eyes of fans and photographers was hard, but you and Ona managed. Together.

Until at the end of the season, over dinner Ona told you about Barcelona’s offer for her, it was no surprise the team wanted her back, Ona was well known for her amazing defending in the WSL, so obviously Barça had their eyes on her.

Although you were happy for her, it still hurt, knowing that there would be a sea keeping you two apart, but the both of you were sure that you could do it.

After she left for Spain, you watched every single one of her matches, and she did the same for you. Even after moving teams, she would still never say the dreaded words of ‘Manchester being blue’, which never failed to make you laugh.

Until a few months later, you recieved a call from your manager wanting to discuss potential transfers, you brushed him off quickly saying how you wanted to stay at Manchester City, until you received an email later that night, with a list of all club offers.

One caught your eye, the club offering you the most money was ironic. Real Madrid.

Barcelona’s biggest rival, Camp Nou selling out every time a Barcelona vs Real Madrid match was scheduled.

You immediately called your manager, telling him to accept Real Madrid’s offer, it was a great team, and you had met a few of their players before.

After speaking to your manager, you wondered how exactly you were going to tell Ona about your transfer in the January window, and settled on a simple phone call to break the news to her.

———

Ona was currently at a team bonding night, which were now currently just an excuse to crash at Alexia’s, watch movies and eat all night.

However, recently the brunette had been missing you more than usual, she longed to hold you tight again, and missed the privilege of living with you instead of in a different country.

So when her phone rang, she couldn’t resist waiting until getting home to answer it.

Unbeknown to you, the team already knew about your two’s relationship, after Patri catching Ona watching edits of you, but Ona cut of her teasing by saying ‘She has a right to’, which gave away the fact that you were dating.

“Hola amor” Ona greeted you.

“Hola baby, I have something I need to tell you” you said, your voice sounding serious made Ona sit up straight in her seat, catching the attention of her teammates, who mouthed ‘Que?’ (what?) at her in confusion.

“What’s wrong amor, is everything okay?” Ona asked, worried about your clear state of nervousness.

“No, no nothings wrong Oni, I just thought I would tell you that I’m moving clubs.”

“That’s great, where to amor?” Ona was excited now, the thought of you moving to Barcelona to be with her, like before except this time on the same side for once.

Her teammates had caught on now, excited at the prospect of you joining the team, you were a great central midfielder, Ona offer insisted on watching your games at movie nights if they were live, so many of her teammates were aware of how useful you would be on the team.

“Uh, that’s the thing, promise you wont be mad?”

“Why would I be mad amor? I would never mind wherever you go.” Ona and her teammates were confused now, and Ona was trying to think of the possible clubs you would go to that she would be mad at, however she didn’t realise she was kidding the most obvious one.

Lucy mouthed ‘Lyon’ at her from across the sofa, and most of the girls nodded in agreement.

“Real Madrid.”

“Que?! Real Madrid! Joder!” (What?! Real Madrid! Fuck!)

This caused an outburst amongst her teammates, who were also in just as much shock as Ona about your news.

You let out a laugh at your girlfriend’s antics “Guess we’re rivals again babe”

Your girlfriend only scoffed in response, and you could just imagine the pout on her face as her teammates chatted around her.

“Guess what?” You asked once again.

“Do I really want to know? Is it better news than what I’ve just heard cariño?”

“The first match I play is against you at Camp Nou!” You said excitedly.

Ona only groaned in response.

“I can’t wait to put a few goals past you as well” you said cheekily, as you heard Ona chuckle.

“You wish amor, at least being with me will soothe the sting of your loss against us”

“I’m sure being with you will just be a bonus when we win babe” you replied whilst yawning.

“Are you tired? Go to sleep amor.” Ona said.

“Mhm, I will speak to you in the morning?”

“Sí, buenes noches cariño.”

“Night Oni” you said before hanging up the call.

———

Your signing to Real Madrid was successful, although you were sad to leave your City teammates behind, you were looking forward to playing against your girlfriend again.

As much as your girlfriend hated any colour on you apart from red and blue, she had to admit that the white and gold looked good on you, Alexia had given her a firm warning to not let your relationship affect the game, but Ona didn’t need to hear it. There was no way she was letting you win.

———

The game was intense and Barcelona were already 2 goals up thanks to Aitana and Caro, you came on in the 60th minute, returning from a minor muscle injury, ready to make a difference.

The first goal for Real Madrid came from you after only a few minutes on the pitch. Barcelona’s defence were playing high, leaving you able to get past Ona and Ingrid, and then shoot from just outside the box into the top left corner of the net.

Whilst celebrating with your teammates, you caught eyes of your girlfriend, sending her a subtle wink and a smirk, and she returned with a scoff and a shake of her head.

She could not let you past her again.

In the 80th minute, Olga passed the ball to you allowing you to begin running up the wing, however as you were about to send a cross into the box, your legs were swept from under you, your head hitting the ground leaving a ringing in your ears.

Your ankle ached, and the harsh shrill of the whistle only worsened your growing headache.

“Come on amor, get up for me por favor.” You rolled onto your back to reveal Ona stood above you, worry evident all over her face, until in contorted to one of guilt for hurting you.

However at seeing your girlfriend you forgot all about the foul she just committed on you, and instead sent her a toothy grin, which she chuckled at, before helping you up and whispering a quick apology into your ear.

Ona accepted her yellow-card graciously, and you were awarded with a free kick, which you stepped up to take.

The free kick went just where you wanted it, and immediately found the head of Caicedo, to which she slotted it into the bottom corner, running straight to you to celebrate.

With Barcelona’s recent winnings, the evened out score was unexpected, and it was obvious that many Barça players were getting annoyed, resulting in more dirtier challenges, mainly directed at you.

The game went on into extra time, the referee choosing to give 13 minutes, however it didn’t take long for you to help your team find the back of Barcelona’s net once again, nutmegging your fellow English teammate Lucy, and passing it to Raso, who was able to tap the ball into the goal to put Real Madrid in the lead.

After 4 more minutes of defending from your team, the final whistle blew.

3-2 to Real Madrid, in a sold out Camp Nou stadium.

The win was unexpected after the long list of defeats Madrid has had from Barça, as your teammates went to celebrate with fans, you instead sprinted to your girlfriend who was stood with a defeated look on her face whilst talking to Aitana, Lucy and Keira.

As much as you wanted to hug and pepper your girlfriend in kisses, the fans and cameras would catch it, so instead you settled on shaking her hand and politely asking for a jersey swap with her.

When you successfully retrieved your girlfriend’s jersey, you told her and the others ‘good game’ and told Ona you would meet her at her car, before running off to celebrate with fans.

After signing what seemed like the hundredth jersey, and taking the thousandth picture, you retreated back to the locker room, and got a quick shower before getting dressed.

Your teammates asked you to go to a bar in Barcelona with the Barça team, it was sweet how they all still wanted to celebrate with each other no matter the outcome of the game.

———

You got ready at Ona’s house after she drove the two of you there with a hand on your thigh the entire journey home.

After the two of you were ready, and after you had to push your girlfriend off you for the 8th time she tried to keep you home by attempting to persuade you with repeatedly shoving her tongue down your throat, you eventually got to the bar, only an hour late.

The adrenaline still coursing through your veins combined with the shots and drinks you had drank with your teammates, supplied you with the confidence to saunter over to your girlfriend, and sit down in her lap.

Most of the Barça team had chosen to lay of the drinks, they hadn’t won and so didn’t really feel like celebrating too heavily.

This meant that your sober girlfriend quickly noticed your tipsy state and laughed as you sent her a toothy grin, finding her lap very comfortable.

However, as your sweet pecks on her cheeks turned to you trying to now shove your tongue down her throat, the Spaniard was fast to push you back, leaving you pouting whilst waiting for her reason.

“Amor, people could see, remember?”

You replied with a huff and a simple “I don’t care!” And the continued your assault on her neck, to which she pulled you off her lap completely, leaving you whining at the loss of contact.

“Amor, not here!” Ona scolded playfully.

“I know places baby, no one would see!”

Ona only shook her head at your statement, she was not going to go any further than kissing whilst you weren’t 100% sober.

“We should probably get back, I want you to spend your last day tomorrow with me instead of hungover in bed amor”

As drunk as you were, you registered Ona’s words and agreed with her, so you let the brunette defender lead you to her car, as she took you back to hers.

———

You did not remember much from last night, your splitting headache and sore limbs only an indication of how much you had to drink last night before Ona took you home.

You reached for your phone, and were shocked to see thousands of notifications from instagram.

Opening the app, you only laughed in response to what you saw, the candid photo someone had taken was beautiful and captured the love both you and Ona felt for each other.

———

barcafanupdates

y/n yl/n and ona batlle spotted at bar in barcelona last night.

liked by user1, user2 and 68,783 others.

comments:

user1: they’re so cute together

user2: rivals?! I want this now!

user3: stop this is so funny- the fact they’ve only ever been on rival teams.

———

yourusername

although it was nice hidden, i guess it’s now time for the world to know your mine

tagged: onabatlle

comments:

onabatlle: amor, te amo ❤️

mapileon: I guess I can tolerate a *gag* Madrid player for Ona.

-> ingridengen: Mapi! Be nice.

user4: and they were rivals…

user5: them casually making out in a bar after Madrid defeated Barça is my Roman Empire 😭

———

#Spotify #barcelona femeni #barcelona femeni x reader #woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #aitana bonmati #mapi leon #mapi león #ona batlle #ona batlle x reader #lucy bronze #keira walsh #alexia putellas

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lukolabrainrot · 2 months

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I am going to talk about some of my thoughts about why I believe N's behavior changed as the PR tour progressed. I am also going to talk about my thoughts on if L&N ever got "jiggy with it" 😂 I'll try to get to my thoughts on Toronto and Ireland tomorrow.

Before I start though, I want to mention that I am trying to come to my theories/opinions based off of things I have been able to observe, and verified information online. Obviously though, I don't actually know any of these people irl, so I am never going to understand the full story of what is going on between L/N. All of this is just my thoughts and theories on what is going on based on what has been put out to the public. There has been a lot of speculation online about everything, but I am going to try and not give that information too much weight when coming to my conclusions here. I am interested in hearing everyone's thoughts/opinions though, since this story has a lot of moving parts. Just wanted to put this disclaimer out before moving forward with more of my thoughts/theories.

Alright, on to the main course (this is going to be a LONG post btw)...

N on the PR Tour

I want to start off with the following that we know to be fact about N:

She is INCREDIBLY private about her personal life, especially her dating/romantic life (the same isn't/hasn't really been true about L). In fact, I don't believe N has ever publicly come out as being in a relationship with anyone since she entered the entertainment industry/been in the public eye (although I can't 100% confirm this, so please let me know if there are any articles/or something on her SM where she has publicly confirmed she was in a relationship at some point)

She is VERY online, and very careful about controlling her public narrative

She is a naturally touchy and affectionate person with people, but she seems to hold her true feelings a lot closer to her heart, and it seems to me, that she is kind of "on" in public (which is actually an important skillset to have as someone in the entertainment industry because you really need to know how to stay in control of your public narrative--your fans are your livelihood)

She LOVES photography/taking photos (it is one of her love languages I believe)

Now as I mentioned, L was always a lot more of an open book on the PR tour about his feelings for N (refer to my post here). N seemed to be a lot more reserved/gaurded during the tour when it first started in January, but everything shifted in like April when the world tour started. Below are my thoughts:

N started to become a LOT more obvious through her nonverbal cues about her genuine feelings for L as the tour unfolded. I will say that I believe PART of it probably had to do with getting a little "lost in the sauce" with the energy of the tour. However, I think the larger factor was that L & N were pushed together for many months (in close quarters), and were therefore forced to have conversations about their feelings for each other that I think they had been tiptoeing around for quite a while. From what we then saw from like the middle of Italy (I'm an Italy truther), there was more of a confidence, security, and contentment in how they interacted with each other that signaled to me feelings were shared and reciprocated.

Like I mentioned, she is a PR queen and very, very private about this part of her life. Therefore, why would she decide to be so obvious about her feelings on such a public stage when she knows people analyze everything? Well... I believe this is her way of publicly acknowledging their romantic feelings for each other without ACTUALLY publicly acknowledging anything more than "work besties" is going on with them. Which totally makes sense when you think about it because 1) The fandom would LOSE IT rn 2) That would put a LOT of public pressure on them, and I think these feelings they have shared with each other are very new (but had been brewing for a long time), and I don't think they are confident enough to go public. There is also, of course, the A of the whole situation, which L needs to figure out how he wants to move forward with that. TLDR, the situation is very messy, and I think there is a lot that L/N need to process in private regarding each other out of the public eye. I am pretty confident though that this tour put them in a situation to confront, clarify, and establish what their romantic feelings are for each other outside of the show (and they were reciprocated), and they are taking the space right now to explore that privately.

Lastly, because I really like analyzing photos and N loves taking pictures, let's talk about those "boyfriend pics" of L she posted since the world tour started. Yes, she was promoting the show, but a lot of those pictures (especially recently) have a very specific vibe. She wants the world to see him the way she sees him. She loves that man, clear and simple. He shines around her, and she knows that. I think it’s also especially telling that she posted the most recent boyfriend pic of her last day of filming (which was the most obvious one in my opinion) now that A is publicly connected to L. It was a statement in my opinion, that regardless of all the drama unfolding, her and L have a really deep and meaningful connection that is special to her. I think it also served as a message that we don’t know the full story, which I think is a positive thing for us Lukola fans. Now I can’t predict the future with these two, but I am fairly certain we wouldn’t have been seeing the type of behavior we saw from them on the PR tour, and the types of photos she has been posting of him lately, if they weren’t confident in moving forward with their romantic relationship in the near future (especially since A has been in the picture for quite some time). I think these pics serve as another crumb that they are a little more than just work besties.

One last note, I think the reason our PR queen started slipping up and changing her answers to certain questions on the tour is because SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY WITH HIM. This can be a whole separate post at some point if people are interested, but I am almost certain from everything I have observed regarding N, that she is quite jaded when it comes to finding a romantic partner, and has been hurt in romantic relationships in the past. I feel like L is the more sweet, hopeless romantic between the two. I think he allowed her to heal some of her relationship wounds. I think there is something about L and the experiences they’ve shared together that has reignited something within N to make her feel more hopeful about having a deep romantic connection while she can still be very independent and successful in her field. And I think it specifically has something to do with who L is when he is with her and how he treats her. I get the impression he has really altered the way she sees certain things related to romantic relationships. My whole point is that I think they both know what they have, and they know that if they can get on the same page, this relationship would get serious pretty quickly. Therefore, even though N is really private with this part of her life, for L, I think she would publicly acknowledge their relationship, but only when/if they are able to get to a point where they feel confident enough that their relationship would be able to withstand the pressures from the public. They just aren't there currently because of all the other confounding factors, but I don't think that necessarily signals where they will be in like 6 to 8 months imo...

Have L/N ever gotten freaky deaky irl?

From before the PR tour, I just don't have enough information to confidently say yes or no. A lot of people have different opinions on this, and some people think they casually dated near the end of filming season 3/sometime last year (but we don't have any proof of that). This is what I will say:

N still follows J (and vice versa I believe, please lmk if I'm wrong?), so I don't think there is any bad blood there. This makes me pretty certain that L/N never acted on any physical feelings for each other until after that relationship was completely over. I do think though that L/N have had a spark for a while (and tbh, I think L has kind of had a thing for N since they met, and his feelings for her have always been stronger). Therefore, this likely played a part in him emotionally distancing from his relationship with J when season 3 started filming, but at the end of the day, we will never know the specicifics of why they decided to part ways. My guess is that there were a lot of reasons that relationship did not end up working out considering how serious that relationship was.

Considering how WILD L/N's sexual chemistry is, it wouldn't surprise me if they hooked up at some point before the PR tour. But considering L was on Raya by February/March 2023 (from my understanding?), and the fact that N was SUPER busy last year and traveling a bunch, I just don't think there was any time for them to have anything more than something super casual/no commitment (if anything). Even if they did maybe hook up some, I don't think they really directly addressed the depth of their feelings for each other, which is why we saw all that behavior between them on the tour, because I don't think any clear boundaries had been put up and their feelings came flooding back.

Now I feel a lot more confident that somethingggg intimate happened at least once between them on the PR tour. Here are my theories:

I don't think things were great between them at the beginning of the tour (like January) because feelings I think started popping up again for these two during the reshoots in December 2023, and then the NYE kiss comes out, and N and L are feeling disconnected and aren't really on the same page about the tour.

I think they had some conversations in private, because by the VDay event, they seemed a lot more on the same page (and L was giving N those total heart eyes). The extra layer is that (I believe?) A accompanied L to the city the event was in (I think NYC?), but even though A was staying with him, L was STILL looking at N like THAT during the event (which I think speaks VOLUMES).

I think though there were a lot of things they still weren't talking about, and everything came to a head when they got to Italy, which is why the vibes were off at first and it seemed like there was tension between them. This also occurred soon after the Instyle stunt, so I feel like N probably had some feelingssss about that.

I have recently been converted to an Italy truther, so I believe that Italy was where L/N finally addressed/readressed some of their feelings for each other, and N was trying to get some clarity on WTH was going on with A, and making sure it wasn't going to mess anything up with the tour. But I think they "kissed and made up" 😉 and got back on the same page. Which is why there was the shift in Italy, and why we saw what we saw for the rest of the tour.

Not sure exactly what happened of course, but I get the feeling something physical happened after they started having some BIG conversations about each other that they had needed to have for a long time (and I think they continued to have these conversations with each other as the tour progressed). Let's also remember that these are two very non-confrontational people, so I feel like there must have been a LOT of pent up feelings/emotions for them to publicly show that they weren't super happy with each other/beefing during the beginning of Italy.

I also definitely think they physically acted on their feelings in Brazil (like they just had the "glow" imo 😂). And the eff me eyes, c'mon. Like Brazil continually reminded me of that New Girl quote "The stench of filth and lust is all over this room." It just seemed pretty obvious to me 😂 Especially considering the events that transpired right after that with A, and between L/N for the rest of the tour.

Lastly, I know a lot of people believe that L/N didn't physically act on their feelings because the tension would go away. However, I actually think it's a good sign that tension is still there, because I think it shows that there is a pretty deep connection between these two, and they are still feeling that pull/sexual energy after having sex. They kind of remind me of like two friends in a friend group who just admitted their true feelings for each other but aren't ready to go public, but are also having crazy good sex, so they are super obvious and can't really hide it when they are together LOL Regardless if they had ever physically acted on their feelings before the tour, I think these experiences (IF they did indeed occur), helped L/N get clarity if their strong feelings and attraction for each other went past the show and their characters. And I personally think they got that clarity 😉

Wowww okay that turned into an essay LOL, but I think the TLDR is that the situation seems very complicated right now, and I think there is a lot that L/N are needing to figure out in private. But I don't think that negates or invalidates what we saw between them on the PR tour, or that they were "faking" their feelings. Human beings are messy and imperfect, and that is okay. I think the part that still really confuses me is the whole A of the situation, because I just can't wrap my head around it. I would love to hear other people's opinions though on how she factors into all this, so if you have theories/questions you would like to add to that discussion, drop them in my asks. Because I have thoughtssss 😂

#it's complicated #people can be messy #and that's ok #a picture is worth a thousand words #Seriously though #WHAT DO THEY PUT IN THE WATER IN BRAZIL 😂#lukola #timelines #lukola theories

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jareaul0ver · 3 months

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loml

wc: 1.8k warnings: kate being a bad gf, straight angst, no happy ending (sorry! no im not) pairings: kate martin x fem!reader

January, 2023

You sat courtside of an Iowa game, your eyes trained on your girlfriend the whole time. On the court, off the court, she was yours. Every basket she'd make, she'd immediately point to you.

The fans loved it. She loved it. You loved it. You wore her jersey with pride, letting everyone know you were hers. Two years into your relationship, it never got old.

The second the buzzer rang out, she searched the stands for you, noticing how you hustled down the stairs to rush to the court. To rush to her.

Your arms found her neck and hers your waist. She spun you around before placing a kiss against your lips. "Good job out there, K-Money." You giggled.

She laughed softly and hugged you against her. "Always have to do good for you, baby." Her pet names for you never failed to make your knees weak.

After her post-game responsibilities, you both headed to her suite. You laid on her bed, her head resting against your chest as you ran you fingers through her long blonde hair.

"I'm gonna marry you one day, Kate." You mumbled. Her eyes shot open and she sat up straight to look at you.

Your heart almost dropped when she didn't say anything. When she didn't kiss you, or hug you, or even smile. That feeling only lasted a quick moment though, before she pressed her lips firmly against yours.

"You're the love of my life." She whispered against your lips. Tingles shot down your spine.

Early May, 2023

"Where the hell are you taking me?" You laughed as Kate forced you into the passenger seat of her car, shutting the door before walking around and getting in herself.

With a bright smile she leaned in and pecked your lips. "To your surprise."

You rolled your eyes but grinned. She started the car and drove away from campus. Her car was beginning to fill with everything she needed to take home from campus, as it was almost the end of her final year at Iowa.

She drove for a bit before pulling into the parking garage underneath an apartment complex. "Are we visiting someone?" You asked, confusion evident in your voice.

"Uh, no." She said quickly before putting the car in park, hopping out, and rushing around to the other side to open your door.

"Then what-"

"Just trust me." She said softly. You nodded and she took your hand in hers, taking you over to the elevator. She pressed the button to the fourth floor, and one silent ride later, you arrived.

She walked you down the hallway to apartment 403, and pulled out a key. The door was quickly unlocked and swung open. Both of you stepped in and you looked around at the empty apartment.

"Surprise!" She said from behind you. You spun around and looked at her as she held up a small sign, her name and yours carved into it, above the word "home".

Your eyes widened and your lips twitched into a smile. "You're kidding. You're kidding!" You squealed, launching yourself into Kate's arms.

She laughed and held you tight against her. "I'm not kidding." She leaned back, forcing you to look at her. Her hand gently cupped your face, her eyes peering into yours. "I want this with you. Forever."

"Forever." You whispered back.

Early June, 2023

Moving in with Kate should have been the best thing that you two could have done. With you still being in school, living with her took away the stress of having to worry about paying for housing on campus.

She was still focused on basketball, planning to stay with Iowa for a fifth year since she was eligible. It was supposed to be perfect.

But it had only been a month and it was already hell.

You argued constantly. Not even over anything worth arguing about, but she seemed to always want to pick a fight with you. She was rarely ever home, always practicing during the day and going out with the team during the night.

One night she came home particularly drunk. You were up late, working on something for a summer course that you had opted to take, freeing up a slot in your fall semester.

"Babe?" She shouted the second she walked in the door. You winced a bit at the loudness of her voice. You were sitting right there, on the sofa that was directly in her line of sight.

"Hm?" You said, annoyance evident in your voice, but Kate chose to ignore it. She came over to you and pulled your laptop away from you, closing it and tossing it to the other side of the couch. "Kate, what the hell-"

She sat next to you on the couch before putting all her weight onto you, her body slumping against yours. You tried to push her off, but couldn't. Damn her athleticism.

"Get off, Kate, I have to finish something." You reached for your laptop but she grabbed your hand and pulled it down.

"You don't wanna lay with me?" She slurred, the smell of alcohol strong on her breath.

You sighed, once against trying to push her away. "No, frankly, I don't."

She sat up and the smug smile on her face faltered. "Why're you being a bitch?" She spat.

"Excuse me?" You scoffed.

"You're being a bitch." She made sure to emphasize it this time. You knew she was drunk, but it still didn't make it hurt any less.

You stood up and took a few steps away. "I'm not dealing with this right now. You're drunk, you're sleeping on the couch tonight." You quickly walked towards your bedroom and shut the door behind you.

Late June, 2023

The last month had been incredibly tense. You and Kate both decided to pretend that there was nothing wrong, even though there clearly was.

You were walking on eggshells around her, scared that one wrong move would send her running.

You were surprised when she invited you to go out with her and her friends from the basketball team, but you happily went along, hoping to make some relationship amends during the night.

Everyone sat in a huge booth at a random bar one of the girls found. Kate excused herself to go grab a drink for herself, so you sat awkwardly, as you didn't know any of her friends very well.

Jada called out your name and your head snapped in her direction. You held a small smile, while her face was a little confused. "I'm surprised Kate invited you, to be honest."

Your smile faded. "What do you mean?"

"She said you two weren't doing too well. That you were really pissy with her all the time, starting stupid fights and shit." She shrugged. "Thought she would have broken up with you by now based off the things she's said."

The room went silent. Your heart dropped. Was this true? The look on Jada's face silently assured you that it was.

Tears started to well in your eyes and you excused yourself from the table, quickly going outside to get some air.

When Kate returned to the table, she noticed you were gone. Jada nodded towards the exit and Kate started walking towards it. She opened the door and saw you outside, sitting on the curb with tears in your eyes.

She moved over and put her hand on your shoulder. "Baby? What's wrong?" You turned at the sound of her voice and pulled away from her.

"You don't get to call me that anymore." Your voice was shaky, but was laced with malice.

"What?" She laughed, a little confused. "What're you talking about?" She stepped towards you, reaching out but you backed away.

You shook your head and scoffed. "You talked shit about me to your friends behind my back, and expect me to be okay with it?" Kate froze and her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to speak but you cut her off.

"After everything I've done for you. After everything we've been through together, you go and do this?" Tears ran down your face. "Fuck you, Kate. I'm done. This is done."

"You're really ending this over something so fucking stupid?” She scoffed, crossing her arms.

Your eyes widened. “You think this is stupid? Jada was surprised I was here. Jada was surprised you haven’t ended things yet.”

Kate stayed silent, the look on her face was unreadable, something that came as a shock to you. You thought you knew her. You had been together for nearly three years, but now she seems like a stranger.

“You said I was the love of your life, Kate.” Your voice broke.

A beat of silence passed between the two of you, the only sound being heard was your chest heaving and the music blasting from inside.

“I was wrong.” She said flatly before turning around to walk back inside. “Have your stuff gone by this weekend.”

You watched her walk back inside. The second she stepped foot past those doors, you knew it was over. She was never coming back, and you’d have to accept that.

April 15, 2024

You sat comfortably on your couch, flipping through the channels of your television, until you came across the one you were looking for.

You transferred to UConn early in the year. It hurt too much to see Kate being so successful on the basketball team. Every little thing in Iowa was a reminder of her, and you needed to escape.

Figures you ended up at the school that got knocked out by Iowa in the final four, but how were you supposed to predict that?

Things were different at first. You felt out of place, a stranger to everything in Storrs, but you quickly adjusted, meeting some of your best friends.

Those best friends happened to play basketball. Paige, Nika, Azzi, practically the whole team came to love you. So you had to support them. You attended their home games, even the ones against Iowa. It hurt seeing Kate, it hurt more than anything had ever hurt you in your life.

But you pushed it aside. You were there for your friends, not your ex-lover who treated you like a piece of garbage.

You watched the draft, not being surprised by most of the players getting drafted. Aaliyah, one of your closest friends, being picked at 6th. Nika at 12th.

The smile never left your face. Your pride for your friends shining in your eyes, evident in the texts you immediately sent after their names were called.

That smile faded, though, at the 18th overall pick. “The Las Vegas Aces select… Kate Martin.”

Kate stood up, hugging all those around her, feeling incomplete. She shouldn’t, though. She just got drafted to the WNBA. What could be missing?

She walked to the stage, took a picture, did her small interview and the draft commenced on. The smile she had on her face was real, sure, but it wasn’t nearly as real as it was whenever she used to be with you.

As she stood there, processing everything that happened, she realized the thing she was missing was you. She was incomplete without you.

But it was too late now, you were the loss of her life.

#kate martin #kate martin x reader #las vegas aces #iowa wbb #iowa hawkeyes #wnba #jareaul0ver🤍#wlw

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agentstarkid · 6 months

Text

SAUDADE ✦ DR3

“Saudade” is a Portuguese word that carries a profound and complex meaning, often described as a deep emotional state of longing or nostalgia. It transcends mere language; it's a state of being, an emotion that seeps into the soul and lingers like an echo in the heart. It encompasses a mix of emotions, including melancholy, yearning, and a sense of emptiness, often accompanied by fond memories of past experiences or relationships. In the context of love, "saudade" captures the bittersweet essence of missing someone deeply, even when they are physically present or long after they are gone. It is the ache of the heart that comes from loving and losing, a poignant reminder of the depth of connection and the enduring power of love's impact on our lives.

✦ PAIRING: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ PIT BOARD: social media au | ✦ FC: becky g

✦ TRACK LIMITS: female!reader, latina!reader, age gap, language, lots of angst, heartbreak, drama, internet meanies, mentions of mental health struggles, assholes.

✦ MAY'S RADIO: uh holi, loves 👀 sorry for the delay, but I hope you guys enjoy this chapter 👀 it's a little short but as present for not posting in March, I present to you: a bonus chapter hehe okay, byeeee *runs away as fast as she can*

< previous chapter | series masterlist | general masterlist | next chapter >

JANUARY 1, 2022

yourinstagram

📍 Latinoamérica

liked by danielricciardo, badbunnypr, rubendias and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram Starting the New Year on a bright note! ✨ Wearing yellow to channel optimism and positive energy as we dive into this new year. 💛 I'm so so so grateful for all the love and support you've shown me throughout the past year and I'm excited to continue this journey together in 2022. Here's to another year of growth, laughter, and cherished memories! Siempre para adelante, mi gente! 🎉

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danielricciardo Mi reina ❤️‍🔥

user1 I wanted to take this space to thank you for the happiness you have brought me over the years. Your music or your works of art have been a constant company in moments of joy, sadness and everything in between. Your talent is enormous, but so is your ability to connect with your fans in a unique way. Your humility and gratitude show that, despite the success, you are still a close and authentic person. Thanks for all that you do!

camila_cabello Good god woman have mercy

kylieminogue you are sensationally exquisite 💛✨

xtina my angel ❤️

user2 jawline could cut a diamond 🥶

user3 muy buena artista pero sobrevalorada respecto a su belleza, y no digo que no sea guapa sino sobrevalorada

user4 you could wear the rainbow if you wanted and that would still not make you relevant or give you any talent

user5 she always tries too hard

user6 watch out for Regina George in sheep's clothing

anitta Feliz ano novo para você Rainha 😘

diplo 💛

user7 the fact that they spent new year's day apart and on different sides of the world speaks volumes

user what? that they both wanted to see their families? grow up

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yourinstagram has added to their story!

⥂ translation: Everything I do and comes out of me it's because I'm feeling it, it's okay if no one else feels the same way. Two people can never ever feel the same at the same time.

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JANUARY 16, 2022

danielricciardo

📍 Perth, Australia

liked by yourinstagram, heidiberger_, natalie_pinkham and 1,562 others

danielricciardo Back seat baby seat bangers 🎶

tagged: yourinstagram

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yourinstagram this is all anyone needs to have a great day ❤️ please send me his manager's contact, I've been looking for a male backing vocal for my next album and I think he can be the perfect choice 😌

danielricciardo yourinstagram ah, you see, he's a really sought-after artist so he's super busy. But I know his uncle and he's interested on the job, only thing is that he likes to be paid with kisses 💋😏 yourinstagram danielricciardo tell him to contact me, I think we will be able to work out the payment details soon 😌

yourinstagram btw how is it possible that he's that big now if I saw him like yesterday and he was this 🤏🏽 small 🥺❤️

user1 is the copying the hand movements for me 😂❤️

user2 so this is how Y/N's future is gonna look like 👀

userA all that's missing is the ring 👀 userB yeah danielricciardo stop being lazy my friend 👀

user3 you're gonna be a great dad one day ❤️🥺

♥ yourinstagram has liked this comment

user4 siempre dije que no quiero ser mamá, pero después de ver esto... yourinstagram mi reina quién pudiera ser vos 😮‍💨

user5 coisa mais linda! ❤️

user6 Daniel really sang his heart out to that song lmao

user7 you have really shit taste in music mate

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FEBRUARY 4, 2022

yourinstagram

liked by danielricciardo, keleighteller, natalie_pinkham and 1,238,562 others

yourinstagram Te amo con el alma, porque el alma nunca muere ❤️ happy 2 years, mi Danielito 🥰

⥂ translation: I love you with my whole soul, because the soul never dies ❤️

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danielricciardo My forever partner in crime ❤️

user1 cuide a ese hombre yourinstagram, que tu y yo no somos amigas 🫡

user2 oh God I'm so single 😩

mileycyrus so much love and happiness for you both ❤️❤️❤️

user3 THAT LAST PHOTO IT'S GIVING I'D MARRY YOU WITH PAPER RINGS 😭 SO 1 + 1 = THEY ARE GETTING ENGAGED‼️‼️

userA I'm so calling it, it is happening 🤩

user4 LIL BLAKE SIGHTING 😍😍😍

hermusicofficial favs

user5 she was talking seriously when she recorded A mi me gustan mayores 😅

userA será que aplica el "A mí me gustan más grandes. Que no me quepa en la boca..." con él?? 👀👀👀 yourinstagram userA los besos que quiera darme? 👀 sí, aplica 🤭😈 userB OMFG Y/N???!!! LMAOOO iamdannaschwarz yourinstagram that's enough internet for you today 🙅🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

chloestroll did he really cook? 😂

yourinstagram chloestroll he did! and it was really good actually 🥰 I felt ✨spoiled✨

oliviarodrigo mom and dad 💜

user6 the first pic is making me feel something. i don't know how to put that something into words though 🥵 *bi panics*

userA JUST A BIG FUCKING OOF I GUESS 🥵 userB they served cunt as per usual userC I grunted and groaned and moaned 🫠😩

user7 I'm so tired of them omg yeah, you're "in love", we see you, now stop shoving it at our faces every chance you have 🙄

fioamato congrats Sandy and Danny 😜💖

iamdannaschwarz Baby and Danny 😜💖 itsvittoriasousa nah, more like Troy and Gabriella landonorris Belle and the Beast 😜 yourinstagram landonorris aww did littol landow nowis just called me beautiful? 👀😊 landonorris nvm I take it back. Fiona and Shrek* 😌 yourinstagram landonorris well that makes you the donkey 😂

user8 every time I remember that there's a 9 year gap between them I wanna puke 🤮

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danielricciardo

liked by yourinstagram, martingarrix, landonorris and 1,562 others

danielricciardo happy 2 years mi vida ❤️

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user "mi vida" brb gonna go chew on a live wire 😭

yourinstagram let's do this for a lifetime ❤️♾️

danielricciardo you have yourself a deal, Chip ❤️

user2 hey God, it's me again...

martingarrix ❤️❤️❤️

user3 these adorable videos ending with daniel squeezing y/n's butt is so dan-y/n core 🥹😝

marcusstoinis congrats, lovebirds ❤️

user4 did they leave their own love lock on the fence? 🥹😭

userA I don't think we'll ever find it, but I'm sure they did 😭

landonorris congrats on putting up with him this long yourinstagram ❤️

joshallenqb 🍾❤️

user5 somethin something "find a beautiful love, make sure they know they are your morning light" playing while the sunset iluminates her and cutting to "and that you'll never let go till the day that you die" while he has his arms around her 😭😭😭

userA THIS HERE IS LOVE 😭 THIS HERE IS LIFE 😭 userB something something he's got a tattoo of that song's title 😭 userC somebody get me a fucking doctor I feel like my heart is about to burst

scottyjames31 my favorite celebrity couple 😌

caamp we love you guys ❤️

user5 grandpa copping a feel 🤢

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FEBRUARY 10, 2022

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FEBRUARY 22, 2022

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MARCH 8, 2022

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MARCH 9, 2022

danielricciardo

liked by mclaren, georgerussell63, heidi_berger and 584,981 others

danielricciardo Better this week than next… Unfortunate to miss the test, but I’m starting to feel better. I’ll stay isolated and just focus on next weekend. Big thanks to Lando & McLaren for the heavy lifting, I owe you some beers (milk for Lando). Appreciate the well wishes from everyone as well.

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landonorris get well soon mate!

georgerussell63 speedy recovery danny ric 💪🏻

user did you and Y/N broke up??? please tell me it's a lie

user2 Y/N hasn't liked nor comment yet and it's been 2 whole days since he posted this

userA why whould she? they are quarantining together, she doesn't need to comment or liked every single post he makes. They are probably sitting side by side right now userB userA there's actually rumours that she was seen leaving the hotel in a rush yesterday and fans are already speculating if they broke up

user3 I hope you feel better soon Dan! I know we all wish to see you in action next weekend!!

user4 "milk for Lando" lmaooo i love them your honor <3

user5 this is your year mate don't let any setbacks bring you down 💪🏻

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MARCH 18, 2022

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MARCH 25, 2022

f1wags

liked by 3,474 others

f1wags It seems Danny Ricc has moved on quickly 👀 Just after a week since the confirmation of his break up with Y/N, a few fans have reported sightings of the driver with actress Heidi Berger —who has been linked to him a few times these past months— around Monaco.

The blonde is the daughter of former Austrian F1 driver Gerhard Berger and former Portuguese model Ana Corvo.

This love triangle drama just keeps getting juicier and more complicated! 🔥 What are you thoughts, did the Aussie cheated on his ex-girlfriend as some people say? Did he moved on too fast? or did he do the right thing? Let us know in the comments!

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user I actually feel bad for Y/N, not a fan of hers at all but it must be hard to see the man you were talking of marriage with a month ago, move on from your relationship so quickly and easily. if it were me in her shoes, I know it'd really mess my head up 😕

user2 idc if he'd not been with Heidi physically while being with Y/N, it's still treason to be emotionally involved with someone else while you're in a relationship. I believe he already had feelings for Heidi while still being with Y/N because how the fuck can you move on from a whole 2-year relationship in two weeks?? I only hope Y/N is doing okay and that she gets to heal and find someone better for her 😞

user3 you can try to defend him with all the arguments you can think of but at the end of the day, he is still just a rich man. It's funny how you've been all pointing fingers at the innocent while playing lawyer to the guilty.

user4 I'm a Danny Ricc fan but I think this was too fast too soon, at least have some respect for your ex who stood by your side through the highs and lows of the past years, smh so disappointed

user5 Get over it already! He moved on to someone better, as he should. Let the poor man alone! He's been single for weeks! He's allowed to see anyone he wants! Stop whining about it, Y/N just wasn't enough, as simple as that 🤷🏽‍♀️

user6 I'm actually super worried for him, he's not himself lately. Just a few weeks ago he was calling Y/N the love of his life and now this? All jokes aside, I think he's self-sabotaging. He looks like a shell of his old-self, he is not smiling as bright as before, he's super quiet now and if you pay attention to him during interviews, he fidgets a lot and sounds so insecure when asked about his driving. GO TO THERAPY BABE!!!

userA you are reaching, babe! lmaoooo he's fine, he just got tired of that snake 🤪

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APRIL 2, 2022

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APRIL 4, 2022

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APRIL 22, 2022

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MAY 3, 2022

danielricciardo

liked by corey_wilson, michaelitaliano, mclaren and 269,852 others

danielricciardo Miami. We made it.

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user i guess this is the confirmation we've been waiting for

user2 how can you move on from a 2 year relationship so fast??

user3 ugh men are so fucking unbelievable

userA jokes on all those whiny fangirls of his, turns out it wasn't he who deserved better, it was HER.

user4 he is a joke just like his driving lmao

user5 Heidi is so much better than that wannabe singer, she was just a plaything for him 🤣

user6 I'm so glad you opened up your eyes daniel

user7 so all those rumours have been true smh y'all were attacking Y/N nonestop for the smallest interactions with the opposite sex, and none of those rumours proved to be true but I'm not seeing the same energy directed towards him now that the rumours about him were actually true!

user8 I just know that the break up album is gonna be a banger 🔥🤪

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MAY 10, 2022

yourinstagram has added to their story!

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JUNE 19, 2022

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⇥ youtube search: falling (harry & y/n's duet version) - love on tour, london night 1

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JUNE 22, 2022

yourinstagram

liked by markhoppus, phoebebridgers, rubendias and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram burned other memories just to make room for these ones 🎞️❤️‍🔥

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user HI MOTHER!! WELCOME BACK WE MISSED YOU ❤️❤️❤️

user1 we love to see you living your best life!!! 🥰

user2 Can't wait to listen to the full version of the song she plays on the last slide 🤩

userA Daniel Ricciardo is shaking in his boots right now 🤪

machinegunkelly 🖤🥀🤘🏼

user3 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

markhoppus kid what are you holding on your lap and why it isn't on my liquor shelf yet? 🤨

yourintagram sorry dad 😔 it's on its way to your doorstep right now 🤪 skyehoppus yourintagram make sure you are also included on the package arriving at our door, it's been too long honey ❤️ userA “dad”??? she knows mark hoppus?? what did i miss?? 😳 userB userA they have an on-going joke that mark found her wandering around and adopted her as one of the few blink-182's children along alex gaskarth and jack barakat from all time low 😂 she's super close with his family, too! I remember she collab on a song with him, but they didn't released it and then it got leaked, she did play it at a couple of concerts tho userC userB is it 'thank you & goodnight'? 👀 userB userC YES! I miss her pop-punk era 😔 that version she did of 'little lion man' was soooo good!!

user4 Baby Iza is on her way to hit a bitch (Daniel)

alexalbon I like pizza too 👀🍕

lilymhe sorry baby, bad bitches only 💅🏻

user5 OMG OMG WE'VE GOT HARRY, TAYLOR AND Y/N IN ONE POST?! THE HOLY TRINITY RIGHT THERE 😍

harrystyles ❤️

user6 I've got my two mothers in one photo 😭❤️

taylorswift Ms. Falls-a-lot 👻❤️

yourinstagram I swear I'm gonna scare you too next time 🙄😂

lilymhe walking among legends on this post 🙇🏻‍♀️ #blessed 🙏🏻

user6 I'm so happy that she's finally back ❤️ we need to flood her comment section with love 🥰

user7 Drama queen of this generation. Always playing the victim & tricking people into thinking that she's a mental health advocate. You're way too far from that. Cancel her 👍🏻🐍

user8 the caption: ICONIC 🔥

userA the taxi driver is twisting on his grave 😂🤪

user9 the old Y/N can't come to the phone right now, why? Oh 'cause she's DEAD! 😎

user10 most untalented celeb ever

fioamato where was my invitation? 🤨 yourinstagram iamdannaschwarz

iamdannaschwarz you got one, you just decided to ditch us for mr. i-have-an-art-gallery 🤨 yourinstagram iamdannaschwarz yessss expose her, dannita! 🤭 No te hagas de la víctima, mi corazón. We've got the receipts 😎🧾 fioamato I hate you both 🙄

user11 you should be ashamed to post a photo holding a tequila bottle when so many young people follow you. You should be a role model to them, not another alcoholic celebrity 🙄

user12 babygirl I hope you are doing better and feeling great! You deserve so much more ❤️

userA she's as fabulous as ever while he's floping big time, I call that karma 💅 userB not many people know how to truly appreciate the unique sazón and sabor of a Latina 🔥 homeboy couldn't handle the heat 🤭

user13 I know that album is gonna be 🔥🔥🔥

user14 attention seeker no wonder you always get dump for someone better

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JUNE 30, 2022

Video — CLEAN SHEET KINGS | STONES & DIAS

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─── Please don't forget to reblog and/or comment! ♡

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orchidyoonkook · 2 years

Text

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 1

Title: Assembly’s and Introductions

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Mild Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: There’s a new kid at your prestigious university, he’s tall, tattooed and muscular, and oh yeah, he’s the Prince.

Warnings: PG13, mild swearing, a general ‘lets get the ball rolling’ first chapter

Word Count: 5410

Release Date: January 26, 2023, 12:40PM

A/N 1: I’ve been working on this since September 2022, got 80K in, and have accidentally taken an extended break from Dec 1st until now. I need a kick in the pants to continue writing it so here’s the first chapter. I hope you enjoy as I have read this about 400 times and I’m sick of editing it.

A/N 1.5: it’s pronounced ‘Nehl” not “Neal”

“Come on, come ooooon!!” Yuri says as she drags you by one arm down the corridor, the other filled with books and study notes. You’re being dragged from your mid morning study session and she's starting to stretch your favourite sweater from how hard she’s pulling.

Slipping from her grasp to save it from any permanent damage, Yuri uses her new freedom to take the lead.

“Not everyone cares as much about this as you do,” you say, rolling your eyes. “I get you’re here because your parents put you here but I worked for it. I can’t just abandon my study plans for some guy,” voice echoing in the corridor as you succeed in keeping up with her quick pace.

Yuri mocks your words in gibberish, matching your tone, just more nasally.

She’s heard this hundreds of times since becoming your best friend in first year after being assigned your roommate. She may force you to go to places and parties you don’t find nearly as important as she does, but you also know she’s the only reason you’ve had any fun since starting university.

That doesn’t deter you though.

“I’m serious,” you insist, refusing to back down.

A look you know well flashes over her face. One that’s a mixture of absurdity and exhaustion— specifically at you.

“You know, sometimes I can’t even believe we’re friends. He’s not just some guy YN,” she looks over her shoulder to make eye contact. “He's the prince.”

Ah yes, the prince.

How could you be so foolish?

The fancy name given to the poor bastard who doesn’t get to decide his future—or work for it for that matter. Just has it handed to him because he was born at the right place, right time.

The prince who’ll be king to the biggest nation in the west one day.

The prince everyone freaks out over.

Sure, he’s cute enough, and will eventually have lots of money and power, because those are so important for someone like him.

But what’s money and power if you’re miserable or an asshole or you don’t know what to do with it? What’s money and power for someone who’s never known poverty and helplessness?

The title of Prince means nothing if you don’t earn it. Means nothing if you don’t know how to use it properly.

Who knows if this one does? So why should you particularly care?

Unfortunately, most people can’t get past the ‘young, handsome, future king of the Western Shores, hunk-a-hunk of dreamy’—blah, blah, blah, the media splatters over every magazine cover they possibly can, earning the prince a hefty social following of adoring, screaming—slightly brain dead if you had any say about it— ‘followers’ aka fans.

And Yuri, like every other girl on campus, is one of them. Minus the brain dead and screaming.

Well…Sort of minus the screaming.

She has screamed, in the past at least. So maybe just minus the brain dead part…

Anyways, she’s grabbing your wrist and you sigh, wringing yourself free of her near iron grip, again. But you can’t blame her.

Yuri’s focused on one thing, and one thing only.

And it’s beginning in 15 minutes.

“Plus I want good seats!”

You scoff.

“He’s just a person, Yuri. I get he’s got an important title and fancy job, but that’s all that separates him from us.”

She glares at you as you reach the courtyard of your school.

Trees surround the perimeter in evenly placed lines, a large running fountain at its center. There’s plenty of open grass space the students use to study, picnic or throw a ball around on. And its cobblestone walkways are currently covered in rows upon rows of filled up seats.

Most of those filled seats are in the middle though, which surprises you. You would’ve thought girls would be lining up at the front row to see their prince.

“Yeah, just the title and fancy job,” Yuri says, taking her turn to scoff and opens her hand to count on her fingers. “Let's not count the fact that he’s insanely hot—have you seen his body? His face? Or what of the land he’ll inherit on top of the land he already owns? And money! Can’t forget that. Or clothes. Not enough? I can keep going,” she switches to her other hand. “How about control over the largest kingdom in The West? They don't call him ‘Prince of the Western Shores’ for nothing, Sweets. Also the mass of adoring fans, security and advisors following his every move, nice cars, fancy vacation houses…should I keep going?”

You’re pretty sure she only stopped because she ran out of fingers and you don’t deign her with a reply. Yuri seems content to have made her point and she did.

But you’d never admit that to her. Instead you keep walking, taking in the sights around you.

Your school is The Royal Academy of Business and Fine Arts. Anyone can study here if they have the cash, or the brains, though one method is much more abused than the other.

It’s one of the most prestigious schools in the world because it’s where nearly every royal on this half of the continent goes to university. Hence the “Royal'' in the title.

Ladys, lords, dukes, duchesses, princesses and yes, princes all go here—are most of your classmates, actually. But there is only one prince everyone cares about. The one who, in the next few short years, will not only be at your school for whatever it is his father deems appropriate for him to study in his post secondary education, but the one who is also first in line and heir to the biggest kingdom in The West—if it hadn’t been mentioned before.

His Royal Highness, Prince Jeon Jungkook.

Okay… look.

It’s not that you don’t like him, he hasn’t done anything to make you hate him, and you’re sure he’s a decent guy once you get to know him.

It’s just that you don’t really feel any type of way about him, positive or negative. And that confuses so many people around you.

Which in turn, confuses you.

Most people seem to think he’s some sort of god sent angel carved by the hands of whoever created the universe. Fawning over him and thinking he can do no wrong. But what they all fail to see is that he’s just like them.

Got a bit more of a leg up on life than most, sure, but still human. Like you, or Yuri.

He eats and showers and uses the bathroom. He gets a runny nose and puffy eyes when he’s sick. He has bad hair days and ties his own shoes… you think.

He’s just a regular guy with an irregular job. So no, you had no opinion on him other than disinterested neutrality.

But if you had to feel something? You guess you probably felt pity.

You worked your ass off in highschool to get where you are. You and your mom screamed until your voices were hoarse when you got your acceptance letter two and a half years ago. One of 25 scholarship students accepted on a full ride every year.

You were doing a major in fine arts and a minor business, wanting to milk your education for all it’s worth on their dime. Lucking out that your two areas of interest were not only at one school, but at one of the best schools in the world for both subjects.

You chose what you wanted for your life and you worked for it for years. And now you sit comfortably at the top of your class in both fine arts and business, not taking your opportunity for granted for a second.

Jungkook though? He’s expected to go here. Doesn’t have much of a choice about it, and he doesn’t have to work for it either.

A small part of you that has yet to mature envies him for how easy he has it, for the privileges he is given simply because of one six letter word in front of his name. That he didn’t have to put in 60 hour weeks and give up his teenage years just to prove he was good enough to be here.

He was born good enough.

But that’s a small part of you, and you can ignore it if you try hard enough.

The point is you felt pity because he’s probably never had to work for something a day in his life. He doesn’t know the satisfaction of working towards something, to not only succeed, but to be the best.

To earn what he has.

He won’t know what to do when real life hits him.

Yuri lets a baby scream loose as she spots her desired seats and yanks you out of your thought spiral.

The front of the courtyard is still relatively empty, middle still filling up faster than anything else.

“Yes! Score! First row, left side, that’s perfect! He'll definitely see us.”

She grabs your arm a third time and it’s an effort not to drop your books and groan at her.

Yuri’s like you in the sense where she is not royalty, but unlike you she—or should you say, her parents—are loaded.

Family business perks.

She’s here because she can be, because her family can afford to send her and make donations, not because she wants to be or because she worked for it.

But don’t misunderstand that, Yuri works hard. She just happens to party more than she studies most days. That and plan her future with a very rich and handsome guy who has yet to be determined.

You’d jokingly deemed her a royalty hunter after about an hour of meeting her for how badly she wanted to ‘marry up.’

“See you,” you correct, or has she forgotten about Nel, your boyfriend of 5 years? Your high school sweetheart and who is currently, much to your dismay, at school about 5000 miles away.

“I’m sure Cornelius wouldn’t be mad if the prince charms his girl just once, seeing as his royal highness can do that to most people just by breathing near them,” she quips. ”And even if he would get mad, Jungkook can just have him thrown in a dungeon for being overprotective and jealous.”

“The royal palace doesn’t have dungeons, but they do have a series of interrogation rooms on the third lower level,” you inform her. You did a project on the history and architecture of the royal palace in tenth grade—and Nel really wouldn’t care, he knows where he stands, just like you do.

“How do you just know that!”

Yuri didn’t know you in highschool and you used that to your advantage every single time you could, laughing bright and loud.

She starts dragging you down the walkway again, a habit of hers. Like she’s worried you’ll try to slip away if she isn’t forcing you where she wants you to be.

It’s a good instinct on her part.

You're nearly there, so you focus more on the trees just starting to turn colours overhead, casting slightly pigmented shadows on the ground. Fall is just starting to creep up on the heels of summer, the days of sunscreen and chlorine slowly being replaced by pumpkin spice and crisp apples.

She sits exactly where she wanted too, and you plop beside her, glad you’re wearing a light sweater and tights. They are just warm enough to keep the slight breeze from giving you chills, but also keep your legs from sticking to the plastic seats.

For such an expensive school to go to you’d think they’d have better assembly furniture.

You notice a news camera off in the distance and suddenly understand the empty front seats. No one wants to publicly embarrass themselves on national television from seeing the prince, rewindable and replayable, forever seared into the internet.

It’s times like these you’re happy you’ve never been one to get starstruck. They’re all just people, why be shocked or surprised when they exist near you?

Opening up your books on your lap, you figure you can kill the next ten minutes in a productive way, considering what happened to your original plans for the mid morning.

And as you do, you feel the seats around you begin to fill, not a single one empty by the time the event starts. Not even the ones up front.

A jerked movement catches your eyes and you see that two seats closer to the pedestal from Yuri is Adaline.

Great.

Adaline Dupree is basically a princess from the Eastern Shores. ‘Basically’ because she’s not, but she certainly acts like she is. A fake princess, an even bigger royalty hunter than your best friend and your not so secret arch nemesis.

She’s in your fine arts classes—all of them, unfortunately—her proper title being ‘Duchess of…’ some province you never bothered to learn the name of, and she’s one of the most well known people on campus.

Tall, with beautiful blonde hair, hazel eyes, freckles, a slim figure and quite the socialite. You’re surprised she went into fine arts and not modeling. She’s got the ego part of the job down pat.

Good for her for being pretty. But anyone could be beautiful on the outside with enough money and a surgeon. That’s not why you considered her your nemesis, you don’t give a shit about any of that.

She was your nemesis in the academic world. Because not only was she beautiful, she was also brilliant at her craft.

Which happened to also be your craft, and it pissed you off to no end.

Where you were first, she was second and where she was first, you were second. Always neck in neck with one another, always trying to one up each other.

You only considered yourself better than her because unlike her, you hoped at least, Adaline was a complete and total bitch. She took what she wanted without remorse and she wasn’t above sabotage to get it.

You learned that the hard way in your first year. And you’ve always wondered if that was her privileged upbringing speaking or if she’s just like that naturally, so unused to not getting what she wanted that she’d take it.

Therefore, it is of absolutely no shock to you that she’s sitting as close as she possibly can to where the prince will be standing. Directly in front of the pedestal at the base of the fountain in the center of the courtyard.

A door opens to your right followed by a couple screams, and you can only assume the man of the hour has arrived. A red camera light flicks on in your peripheral vision and you take that as your confirmation and cue to close your books.

The Dean of Schools, a few advisor looking people, a good handful of terrifyingly large security guards, and a head of black hair you conclude to be the prince all make their way towards their destination.

A smirk graces your face at all the girls batting eyelashes or screaming his name, as if that would get his attention. You’re about to mention that exact thought to Yuri, but you notice her eyelashes looking awfully similar to those around you and can’t help failing to stifle a laugh.

She catches it. “What?”

“Nothing,” you say. “You might just want to pick your jaw up off the ground.”

Her response gets cut off when a voice comes over the speakers.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for such a warm welcome,” says the Dean, calm and assured. She knew exactly the welcome they'd receive. “I’ll keep my introduction short. Today, I present to you not only the newest addition to The Royal Academy of Business and Fine Arts, but the future King of our great nation. He has requested to formally address the student body before he starts classes this fall semester, so without further adieu: His Royal Highness, Prince Jeon Jungkook.”

Riigghht. Did you mention he was the prince of the country you’re living in?

Well…he is.

The crowd soars in volume once more, a couple “I love you’s” thrown in for good measure as the prince steps up and you zone out.

From your angle, you can see his whole body from the side, and that even though he’s holding cue cards, he doesn’t use them, placing them face down on the pedestal.

His dark hair is swept back in a suave styling and he’s wearing a simple navy long sleeve button up, black dress pants and matching leather shoes.

The outfit makes him look ever so princely and very much not like a student. More like one of the faculty.

However, what you don’t expect are the small patches of ink on his arm peeking out of his right sleeve. Or just how tight the clothes he wears are on his apparently very muscular form.

You remember Yuri’s words from earlier, only now registering. You knew he had muscles, no one ever shut up about them. But seeing them in person… wow.

You kind of want to sketch him—for anatomy practice, of course.

The prince begins his address to the crowd and an eerie silence replaces the roars from earlier. You take a quick look around and notice that not one person isn’t completely transfixed on him. Even the dean can’t keep her eyes off him.

You give him credit for not balking under the intense gazes of literally everyone. You know you sure as hell would have, never being one to like being the center of attention. At least, not like this.

You clue into his speech as you look back at him. He’s talking about how he found himself as a teenager thinking of what he wanted his future to look like and what he wanted to do with his schooling, which is not only why he took a couple years to explore the continent before enrolling, but why he will be doing a major and a minor at the school.

One for his career, and one for his heart.

You won’t admit to yourself that the sentiment very closely resonates with you.

He continues.

“All that said, I asked to address you all today for one very simple reason, being that, for my time here at the academy, I wish to be treated like any other student. I am not unaware of my celebrity and how I am seen to the outside world. It is not lost on me my place in the world and who I am to become. I know for some that it may be… difficult to see me for anything other than who I am, and this is why I ask you humbly, just for the short while that I’m here, you all treat me no differently than you already do one another,” he pauses for a moment. “I extend my request most deeply to those who will be studying alongside me in my business administration major and photography minor, as I don’t want it to affect my studies.”

Yuri slaps her hand down onto your leg causing you to jerk forward and you clamor to not drop any of your books. Business administration is her major. Her parents want her to take over the family biz after school.

That was probably why she partied so much. Living as much as she can before being thrust into a job she doesn’t want for the rest of her life.

Pity creeps back up your throat at the thought.

Jungkook notices your jerking movement, but only for a second. His eyes meet yours and you hope yours convey ‘sorry for interrupting’.

You may not care about him, but just like him you are not unaware of his status in the world outside the walls of your school.

Yuri, of course, thinks he’s looking at her and not only does her grip on your leg tighten to the point of circulation cut off, she returns to her earlier routine of batting her eyelashes.

You roll your eyes away from her sight, but unbeknownst to you, well within the gaze of Jungkook.

He suppresses a smile at your response to your friend's clear attempts to gain his attention.

You, on the other hand, seem indifferent to him. He has the entire student body watching his every move with hawk-like precision, enraptured. Normal, for him.

But you?

You just seem to… not care. Like he wasn’t anyone special. Like the word in front of his name meant nothing.

And if it wasn't the most freeing feeling he’s felt in a long time.

“Thank you so much for your time, and I’ll see you all around campus,” he finishes before stepping down, security wrapping around him again until he’s barely visible. The dean pops up to conclude the gathering but you aren’t paying attention anymore, too busy trying to peel Yuri’s hand off your thigh.

“Yuri, retract the claws please!” you whisper-yell to your friend. And she does in fact, retract instantly.

“Shit, sorry. My brain is running a million miles a minute,” she says as she pinches herself, shaking her head and smiling. “I’m three years ahead of him in his major. His major YN! But he’s still older than us, which is so hot. I'm so glad he did that tour in the east and whatever else that kept him back for a couple years, it makes this whole situation even better,” you start to worry at the look in her eye as she continues.

“What if he needs a tutor? What if I become his tutor, and we fall in love like a cliche romance movie. I could be the future queen. YN, this could actually happen for me. I could actually get the prince, it’s not some wild dream anymore. I could talk to him and he would talk back and this could happen.”

You can feel that she’ll just keep spiraling, nothing being able to stop her train of thought at this point, so you try your best to at least have her do her thinking in her head.

“Maybe! I wish you nothing but luck!” And you mean it. You don’t think it will happen the way she does, but you never know. And you don’t want to give her false hope.

You’ve always been the realist to Yuri’s optimist.

With the assembly over, most of the crowd files out of the courtyard quickly, prior plans calling to them or classes starting soon.

Only a few stragglers are left behind. You and Yuri are two of them, as well as Adaline, and a couple more you don’t know.

Security starts to spread out and you watch as Jungkook makes his way to the people farthest from you, much to their delight.

It’s a group of guys, all of whom look muscular enough to be varsity athletes. Maybe Jungkook will want to do sports while he’s here. You know that he’s an accomplished rugby player, greatly to his fathers dismay, but to the pleasure of anyone who has about $10 and has access to magazines or wifi.

“Oh my god he’s making his way over. Do. Not. Move. I want him to come to us,” Yuri says, forcing you to stay in your spot. It would be fruitless to try anything anyway. Another lesson you learned the hard way in first year.

She starts fluffing her hair and asking you to check her teeth. You do. She’s in the clear.

Unfortunately, you two would most likely be the last people he greeted, so you had to watch as he made his way down the line of people.

He greets the guys with a handshake and a clap to the back, and the girls with a kiss to the top of the hand.

One thing you notice as he meets more and more people is that everyone still calls him ‘prince’ or ‘your highness.’

It’s automatic for them, they’re not even thinking twice about it, but it’s also completely besides the point of half of his whole speech. He wanted to be treated like everybody else.

It especially irked you when it was Adaline’s turn and she put on her most feminine, formal, and ridiculously overly flirty, “Hello, Prince Jungkook,” before curtseying, blasting her full facade of charm and courteousness.

Ever the dainty, prim and proper duchess, she’s all small laughs and less than subtle flirting, never impolite, and never speaking out of turn.

You wanted to gag, and you’re quite sure that’s exactly what your face conveyed. But Jungkook smiles wide for her, and is as kind to her as he was to everyone else prior. He even flirts back a little bit.

Yeah, you definitely want to gag. What a match those two would make.

But just as soon as he greets Adaline and her friend, he politely steps away and moves on to you and Yuri.

“Hello ladies, what might your names be?” he asks ever so formally.

You gently laugh at being called a lady and Yuri shoots you a look. Jungkook doesn’t appear to take offense though.

“Hello, your highness!” Yuri chirps in the most ‘I'm trying to flirt but trying to not sound like I’m flirting’ voice you’ve ever heard her use. “My name is Yuri Yeun, and I’m actually a business admin major too, just a few years ahead.”

Jungkook lifts her hand to his mouth, giving it a light kiss and she looks like she’s about to explode.

“It’s lovely to meet you Yuri, I’ll look forward to seeing you around the halls,” he says in the same tone he’s used for everyone else. He’s about to face you, but Yuri cuts in quickly.

“If you ever need any help with your studies, just let me know. I’d be happy to help you with anything you might need help with. Having already been through it, I may be able to give a students insight versus a professors.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for the future. Thank you for your generosity.” Again that same tone, you mentally dub it his ‘greeting the public like the ever so good royal I am’ voice.

He turns to you and extends his hand for yours.

You reach for it, twisting it so that instead of a hand turned upright to be kissed, it’s a regular handshake. If he wanted to be treated like anyone else here, you sure as hell were going to.

“I’m YN, it’s nice to meet you Jungkook.” At the mention of his name untitled, he pauses, eyes widening ever so slightly. It’s not a bad pause, just a surprised one. And by the looks of the small smile on his face, a good one.

Yuri's eyes, on the other hand, almost bug out of her skull at your informal greeting.

“Likewise,” he manages to get out, completely unlike his usually composed self.

You're the only one who hasn’t addressed him with his title, and it’s the most like him he’s ever felt.

Twice in one day—in one hour—you’ve managed to make him feel more human and more like himself than he ever has. With your distinct indifference to him of all things.

Jungkook decides then and there he’s very sure he wants more of it in his life.

He still hasn’t stopped shaking your hand, and you don’t know why that’s the only thing you can focus on. His hand is firm and calloused, the kind that can only be built over years of hard work.

Releasing you the second you think it, he looks as if he hadn’t realized he was still holding on too.

Quick to step back into his princely role, Jungkook says, “Pardon my forwardness, but I just have to say that the two of you are beautiful, and that it’s been lovely to meet you both.”

You swear you see Yuri’s soul ascend from her body at his words. “Thank you, Your Highness! That means so much coming from someone as well met as yourself,” she nearly fawns, and you roll your eyes out of her sight for the second time today.

And for the second time today, Jungkook does not let the gesture go unnoticed. How you hold no fear in showing how you feel in front of others, even those you’ve just met. As if it holds no consequence.

It doesn’t for you, he realizes.

You can freely show how you feel without worry of anyone over-analyzing your every facial tic. No fear that a slight misuse of a lip quirk or eyebrow raise could give away national secrets or offend a visiting diplomat.

He envies you for it. For having that freedom he so rarely does.

“You’re most welcome, Yuri. I’m glad you hold my opinion in such high regard.” He flashes her that well practiced bright smile and you already know what she won’t be shutting up about it anytime soon.

“I’ve always been told I have my fathers bone structure but my mothers beauty. I’ll be sure to let them know their Prince thinks the combination is worth complimenting,” you respond, not braggadocious or sarcastic in the slightest.

You know it would make your mom so proud to hear the future king found you pretty, even if you knew the compliment was given to every girl here.

Your father wasn’t in the picture, but that didn’t matter and the prince didn’t need to know.

“I hope they won’t mind a stranger's compliment on their daughter then,” Jungkook says, ducking his head slightly and giving you a smaller smile.

This one felt genuine, like he wanted to hold it back but couldn’t. So you return a small one of your own, to let him know this was an even exchange. You may not feel any type of way about the prince, but you were raised to be kind.

“Any praise for their daughter from the future King would be welcomed any day, I’m sure,” Yuri cuts back in, killing his smile along with it.

You’re sad to see it go.

“I’m relieved to hear it,” he responds, princely public persona back on. Stupid flashy smile back on. “What will you two be heading off to do now?”

“What I wanted to be doing for the last half hour in the first place before being hauled down here by this one,” you point a thumb at Yuri. “Finishing my study hour at the library,” you add quickly, before Yuri can get out her answer. You almost wish you hadn't because the hand that had your thigh in a death grip earlier now only somewhat playfully swats your shoulder.

“YN!”

“What!? I’m just being honest. He wants to be treated like anyone else right? That comes with people being honest to you instead of glazing over their answers with pretty little white lies to appease you.”

Yuri looks ready to rip you a new one, but she’s cut off again before she can open her mouth. This time by the prince.

“No, no it’s okay,” Jungkook says before she can swat you again. She stops mid swing at his words, eyes as wide as saucers at being stopped. “YN’s right, I appreciate the honesty, and I apologize for the interruption. I hope your studies will not be too greatly affected because of it.”

“Guess we’ll find out during midterm season,” you say with a smirk that turns into a genuine smile as you see Jungkook look panicked, like he actually thinks he messed up your education by disturbing your study session.

Relief quickly replaces the panic when he sees your smile and realises it was a joke.

Being treated like a regular person also meant being joked with at their expense, and he takes it in stride as his small smile from earlier makes a comeback.

“Well I have class in half an hour,” Yuri says, finally answering his question, “So probably grabbing a coffee from the cafe near the biz-admin building… I could show you if you want?”

“That sounds great actually, I’m still trying to figure out where everything is.”

“Great! Let’s go.”

Jungkook, ever the gentleman, lifts an arm for her to take and you watch them walk off, Yuri absolutely beaming as she glances back at you. You give her a thumbs up before collecting your books and heading back in the direction of the library.

Chapter Two: Unknown Numbers and Sharp Tongues

A/N 2: and so it begins.

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ladykailitha · 4 months

Text

Icarus Part 10

Just a little metal band Steve while the poll for what do with boy w/a bat and werewolf Steve is ongoing. Here if you want to vote.

Corroded Coffin is almost done with their album when the shit hits the fan and Eddie soothes away some of Steve's insecurities (and accidentally creates one more.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

****

Eddie was grateful that with the album ninety-eight percent done the label had released Jeff and him from their jail sentence so that they could go out and be people again. Brian had also been released for good behavior, but Dr. Owens suggested that Gareth stay away from the booze and parties for awhile, so Gareth had chosen to continue the exile willingly.

So to say he was excited to see Steve without all that shit hanging over his head. It was like a rare cool breeze against his skin on a hot summer’s day.

He got a table at the bar he told Steve to meet him at and ordered their drinks. He looked around the room as his knee began to bounce. He didn’t think Steve would stand him up. Steve wasn’t like that. But what if something happened? What the new studio they got was in New York or London or Chicago? How could he suggest that to Steve? He nee–

A warm hand touched his shoulder and all anxiety vanished as Steve murmured his hello.

Steve tapped the center of his forehead as he sat down. “What’s going on inside that head of yours? I can tell you’re spiraling, you’ve got this wide-eyed panicked look to you.”

Eddie rubbed his forehead and pouted. “Everything.”

Steve sighed and tenderly took his hand. He brought it up his lips and kissed each knuckle separately.

“The music business isn’t a forgiving industry at the best of times,” he murmured gently. “But it’s really rough on relationships. All kinds of relationships. Family, friends, lovers. But you’ve got me, okay?”

Eddie let out a low shuddering breath and then nodded.

“So tell me about your day,” he said with a slightly crooked smile. “You talk to Robin and your friends?”

Steve looked around the bar and nodded. “Robin says she’s working on the change of scenery, but she’s not sure how long it’s going to take. As for the other thing... we’re split down the middle. Me and Spence want June, while Simon and Shane want January.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “Why the split?”

“Spence and I have hope we can get the,” he lowered his voice, “album,” he raised his voice again, “done and want the time to finish it. While the other two are clawing at the walls, chomping at the bit, and just begging for a chance to travel again.”

Eddie sighed. “I’m sorry, Stevie. We’re pretty much into editing portion of the album and agreeing on the song order. But we can tour whenever. That’s the best part about being us. We can take six months to do five shows if we wanted to and our fans would eat it up. But if your guys want to wait until next summer, then we can do that. If your guys want to leave right after the New Year, fuck we can do that too.”

Steve sighed. “The record label is just pushing us to the limits and I think even Robin is beginning to crack. First there was the mix up with our contracts then this new thing, plus the touring and everything else. It’s a lot put on her and she’s starting to go mad.”

“They like to do that, unfortunately,” Eddie agreed. “I know Celeste is a good manager, but I think that The Fallen could use an actual agent, someone to take the load off of her back.”

Steve chewed his lip. “But won’t they have to be brought in on the secret if The Fallen were to get an agent?”

“Not if you don’t want them to,” Eddie said with a shrug. “A lot people use stage names they have to have contracts. So...” he waved his hand. “I’m assuming Celeste has control of all the fiddly business stuff for each member of the band?”

Steve shrugged. “Pretty much I guess.”

“They could work through Celeste if the band doesn’t want them to know,” Eddie said with another shrug. “But I recommend bringing them in. They can’t put out fires if they don’t know there’s more than just smoke.”

Steve rubbed his bottom lip. “Yeah...I don’t know. I’m not in the band so I couldn’t say for sure, I’m only a lowly peon.”

“Maybe, but they trust you,” Eddie scoffed. “Look I get that you don’t feel like you think the band can trust someone else with this, but agents are there to protect the band. They could lose all their business if they went around blabbing shit about their clients.”

“Maybe they should just get yours,” Steve joked. “Who is it?”

“Nancy Wheeler.”

The color drained from Steve’s face and he shook his head. “We’ll find someone else. I don’t–can’t trust her with a secret that big.”

Eddie tilted his head to side as he considered Steve’s odd reaction.

“Oh shit.”

Steve laughed weakly. “Yeah, oh shit.”

Nancy was another one of Hawkins High’s alums. Bright and powerful, smart and capable. Steve could see why Corroded Coffin had gone with her. Only he couldn’t trust her to hand him a knife, much less a secret as big as this one.

They had dated before she decided that he wasn’t ambitious enough for her and dumped him for Jonathan Byers. But not before cheating on him with the guy first.

Nancy had stabbed Steve in the back once, he had no desire to give her the ammunition to do it again.

Eddie paid for their drinks, and then took his hand to lead him outside. He pulled them into a small alleyway, barely big enough to fit them both, where they would have some privacy.

Eddie took Steve’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, letting their breaths mingle. Steve’s fast and panicked, Eddie’s slow and calm.

Eventually Steve’s breaths matched Eddie’s and Eddie sealed their lips together.

“You’re okay, baby,” he soothed. “I’ve got you. You’re safe in my hands. You know that right?”

Steve gasped, taking in air as if coming up from the bottom of a vast lake and break the water for the first time.

Eddie combed his fingers through Steve’s hair as the other man fought to get his emotions under control.

Steve let out one more shuddering breath and Eddie smiled. “There you are. I was getting worried for a moment there, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Opening up our secret to other people is always terrifying, but Nancy? That’s monster level dread right there.”

Eddie continued to run his fingers through Steve’s hair. “I understand that, but do know what would happen if she did that? She wouldn’t just lose you as a client, she would lose her whole catalogue of clients. Corroded Coffin included. And not just because of who we are to each other. It would be such a serious breech of confidentiality that she would literally be scorch earth’ing her whole career.”

Steve let out a long breath. He knew that objectively. He knew that she also could just not take him as a client. Decide that The Fallen wasn’t worth the risk.

“What if we sent in Robin as Celeste Baptiste and see what she thinks?” Eddie suggested. “You know Robin’s instinct is killer. It’s why she’s such a good manager. Or even better, why doesn’t Robin meet with Chrissy and have Chrissy go over agents with her and see what Robin thinks? That okay?”

Steve smiled and brought their lips together. “You take such good care of me, Eds. I love you so much.”

“Back ‘atcha, pretty boy.”

Eddie’s phone rang and he picked it up.

“‘Ello?”

He pinched his nose and sighed. “Yeah. How long?”

There was brief pause as he listened to the other person on the line.

“I’ll check Mancharo’s and El Dios and you check out that strip of bars a few blocks south of the hotel.”

Again he listened, his brows furrowing deeper.

“Then I’ll just hit up El Dios and let you know if I find him,” Eddie muttered and then hung up.

“Fuck!”

Steve rubbed the wrinkles between Eddie’s nose until his pinched expression soften.

“That was Jeff,” Eddie murmured when he was calm enough. “Gareth stormed out of his therapy session today and hasn’t been seen since. They thought he was in his room, but when they checked, he was gone.”

Steve ran his hands up and down Eddie’s arms soothingly. “I’m sorry, Eds. Do you want me to go with you?”

Eddie wanted to answer yes, but if Gareth saw Steve he would absolutely pitch the biggest bitch fit outside of literal toddlers.

“Nah,” he murmured instead. “You’ve had a rough day. I’ll call you when I have news, okay?”

Steve nodded. “I love you, babe.”

“Back ‘atcha, darlin’.”

Steve sighed as he watched his boyfriend hail a cab.

He pulled out his phone and went right to Gareth’s Instagram. His location was off but Steve almost recognized the background.

He called Robin and sent her the picture. “We’ve been here before, right?”

“Uh...” she said. “Yeah! Dustin’s twenty-first! The Devil’s End!”

“If you weren’t a lesbian and I wasn’t dating Eddie I would kiss you on the mouth!”

“Eww...” she huffed. “You going to tell me what this is about?”

“Meet me at the apartment and I’ll fill you in.”

Then he sent off a brief text to Eddie.

-Try The Devil’s End. It’s where we had Dustin’s birthday bash.

The reply was almost immediate.

-God I love you.

-On it, babe.

Steve smiled to himself as he put his phone away. He couldn’t repay Eddie back for how kind he had been tonight, but at least he could help with this.

He just hoped Gareth was okay.

He knew that this business could and would chew up the best of people and spit them back out again without a single care.

Having a double life helped keep Steve and his friends humble. But he had no doubts in his mind that that could change at any moment.

Because if it wasn’t the business that would do the trick, it would be the isolation of not being able to tell anyone about what they really do for a living.

If he was being honest with himself, had it not been for Eddie figuring out who he was, Steve would have bet on himself being the first to fall to the Beast.

Both of his parents were raging alcoholics and he knew for awhile there when he was in middle school, his mom had gotten into some pretty heavy drugs.

It was why his high school days were so lonely. Because his dad was either hauling her off to rehab, or going on long trips where he would cheat on her and the cycle would begin again.

But now, with Eddie to keep him grounded?

His bet was on Simon. Hands down. The guy was very insecure outside of his alter ego Asmodeus.

If Steve only knew.

Trouble was brewing on the horizon, just not in the way Steve had thought it would go.

****

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie

@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach

@val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch

@bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian

@thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners

@thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade

@cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #rockstar steve harrington #rockstar eddie munson #rockstar au

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mamaestapa · 1 year

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Sweet as Sugar|| Joe Burrow x reader

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•summary: You and Joe are at a friends wedding during the offseason. You have been teasing him the whole day, but you finally send him over the edge when you eat a cupcake in quite an unusual way in front of him...

•warnings: SMUT, kinda public smut? unprotected p in v sex, fingering, lots of teasing, mentions of licking frosting off of body parts, weddings, I think that's all ;)

“Y/n!” Joe called from the bottom of the stairs, “you ready babe?”

“Coming!” You yelled from the upstairs hallway, holding onto your black heels as you made your way down the steps. Joe’s eyes lit up as he watched you from the bottom of the stairs. You looked absolutely gorgeous. To Joe, you always looked gorgeous. But the satin, spaghetti strap maroon dress that adorned your body and accented your curves nicely, made you look divine.

“Wow, look at you…” Joe trailed off as he snaked his hands up your waist. “You like it?” you ask with a sly grin. Joe wet his lips, “I love it. You look beautiful, Y/n.”

You wrapped your arms around Joe’s neck, letting your hands rest on his shoulders blades as the two of you leaned in to share a passionate kiss. Sharing kisses like these with Joe never gets old. Joe pulled away from you and you started to massage his shoulder, gently digging your fingers into the muscles of his back. Joe closed his eyes and hummed blissfully as you worked at his sore muscles. With off-season workouts starting earlier this week, Joe had been using muscles he hadn’t used since January. You knew this little massage helped ease the ache in his muscles, but you also knew it made a different type of ache grow more and more. May was always a busy month for you and Joe. Off season workouts begin and before you know it OTA’s start and training camp will be right around the corner. With Joe being busy during the day, he’s usually exhausted by the time he gets home to shower and get a nice warm meal in his belly—courtesy of you. It’s been a while since the two of you have shared an intimate moment. You moved your hands away from his back muscles, bringing your delicate touch to his biceps which have grown significantly in the last couple of months. You gently squeezed the tight, bulging muscle before bringing your hands up to his chest. You let your hand rest on his sternum as you looked into his blue eyes.

“What time do we have to be at the wedding?” You asked lowly, feeling a warmth pool in your belly at the thought of having a moment with Joe before you had to leave. Joe glanced at the clock, “Well, if you want to see your college roommate get married, we should probably leave right now.”

You let out a small sigh of defeat as you took your hands away from your boyfriends chest. You definitely weren’t getting your moment alone with Joe right now.

“You ready?” He asked, to which you responded with a soft smile and nod of your head. Joe pecked your cheek before he walked away from you. “I have to grab my jacket, then we can head out.” He went off to the laundry room to retrieve his checkered suit jacket that matched nicely with his white t-shirt and maroon dress pants. When Joe appeared once again in the entry way of your home, he wrapped an arm around your waist and led you out of the front door to his sports car that was parked outside.

Today your college roommate Lauren is getting married. Lauren is a ditzy blonde kindergarten teacher. Although she’s a bit scatterbrained sometimes, she’s such a sweetheart and she does great with the kids. You always joke around withJoe that someday the Burrow children will have her as their teacher. Joe of course just laughs at your joke. He isn’t a big fan of Lauren’s, but she is your friend and Joe loves you, so he puts up with it.

The drive to the venue was calm and quiet. Joe had a hand placed on your bare thigh where the slit of dress starts. His fingers occasionally brushing against your soft skin as his fingers on the steering wheel tap along to the beat of some Kid Cudi song playing lowly in the background. You wanted the aux, but Joe knew you’d only play Taylor Swift and he claimed he wasn’t exactly “in the mood for that”. The venue was about twenty minutes outside of Cincinnati, so it wasn't too far of drive. You and Joe arrived ten minutes before the wedding was supposed to begin. The two of you finding your seats next to an older woman who introduced herself as Laurens great aunt. She’s a sweet lady, just like Lauren. During the ceremony, you found yourself tearing up multiple times, especially during the vow exchange. You quickly wiped away a tear that fell down your cheek as you watched the happy couple exchange their loving vows with one another. Joe reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it gently. Weddings always made you cry. You can only imagine how much of a mess you’ll be when you get married someday.

The ceremony ended and it was time for the reception. You and Joe were seated at a table with someone the two of you just so happened to be very close with.

“Hey Sam,” Joe said, patting Sam’s back as Sam stood up and gave Joe a signature bro hug. You playfully rolled your eyes at the greeting. Sam’s girlfriend Jess doing the same. You walked over to her and said your hellos as Joe and Sam were talking about who knows what. Sam was good friends with Lauren’s fiancé, well husband, Ethan in high school. Joe pulled out the chair beside Jess, motioning for you to sit down. You smiled and thanked him softly, smoothing out your satin dress as Joe sat beside you next to Sam.

“I’m starving,” Sam said, looking between the three of you, “you guys want to go get some food?”

You got ready to stand up, but Joe gently pushed your back down. He shook his head, “I’ll get something for you, sweets. What do you want?” You smiled, “Thanks, but I can get myself a plate.” Joe gave you a pointed look, making you sigh in defeat. “Fine,” you said, “I’m not picky, just get me whatever you’re having.” Joe shrugged, “Easy enough. We’ll be right back.”

The two football players and Jess went off to get in line for food, leaving you at the table all by yourself. You took this opportunity to go and talk to Lauren. You saw her at a table with her cousins, laughing along with something her cousin Sydney said. Lauren’s eyes lit up as she saw you approach the table.

“Y/n!” she squealed, walking over to you and throwing her arms around you. You giggled and put your arms around her, squeezing her gently. “I was just looking for you!” She said with a grin as she pulled away from you. Even though you really only talked to Lauren during your freshman and sophomore year of college, the two of you are still great friends.

You smiled, “Congratulations! You look beautiful, Laur.” She did a little twirl in her white reception dress, “It’s cute isn’t it?” You nodded. The blonde grinned once again, “It’s so good to see you, where’s Joe?”

You pointed over to the other room where all of the food was. “He’s over there getting us food.” Lauren hummed, “Well enjoy some for me, I’m sure I won’t get much time to eat tonight.”

The reception had just started and Lauren and Ethan were already busy going around each table and thanking guests for coming and celebrating their big day. As more guests arrive, they’re only get busier.

You smiled, “I’m sure you’ll be able to find some time. I’ll talk to you and Ethan more later,” you pulled her into another hug, “congrats again.” You walked away from Lauren as she went away to go find Ethan. Joe, Sam and Jess got back to the table the same time that you did. Joe say your plate down at your spot. He had gotten both of you a fillet and roasted potatoes. You thanked Joe and sat down in the chair, enjoying your meal with your boyfriend and friends. As you all ate, the maid of honor and best man gave their speeches. The speeches were all very thoughtful and sweet, capturing both Lauren and Ethan extremely well. Waiters came around to all of the tables, clearing plates and handing out flutes full of bubbly champagne. Joe thanked the waiter and grabbed two glasses, one for him and one for you.

“I thought you didn’t like champagne?” You asked, taking a sip of the bubbly. Joe shrugged, “It’s alright. Thought I would at least drink one with you.” You hummed in amusement as you sat the flute back down on the table. You watched as Joe finished off his champagne. A bit of the bubbly liquid dripping down his chin. Your breath hitched as you watched Joe lick the liquid from his lips, his eyes never leaving yours. He put the glass down on the table and slowly took his gaze away from yours. He knew what he was doing to you.

Some time had passed and the two of you were engaged in conversation with Sam and Jess. As you were talking about your vacation plans before OTA’s, you felt Joe place his hand on your thigh, slowly bringing up to the hem of your dress slit. His fingers toyed with the satin material before they found their way under your dress. You glanced over at Joe, seeing him nod along to what Jess was saying, not even seeming fazed by his actions. You brought your gaze back to Jess, giving her a small smile. You had to play it cool…they cant get suspicious. You gasped lightly as you felt Joe’s fingers sneak past the side of your lace panties and begin playing with your sensitive clit. Your hand gripped the table as he entered two fingers into the entrance of your soaked core, his thumb still teasing your clit as he rhythmically pumped his fingers in out of you.

“So Y/n, you and Joe going anywhere?”

Joe added another finger and picked up the pace, rubbing your clit faster. Your legs began to twitch at his teasing motions. You brought you hand up to your mouth, muffling the whimper that escaped your mouth.

“You OK?” Joe asked, giving you a concerned look. You looked at him with wide eyes. How he could act normal as if he wasn’t giving you an orgasm under the table was appalling to you. You pulled your hand away from your mouth, giving him a tight lipped smile, “I’m fine,” you breathed out, closing your eyes as you felt your walls tighten around Joe’s fingers. You were so close.

“We’re uh, actually going to-uh,” You cleared your throat, trying to hold back your moans of pleasure as you spoke. Joe stopped rubbing your clit and you pulled his hand out of your dress, your juices covering his fingers as he pulled them out of you. “South Carolina for a week.” You finished with a tight smile. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Joe nod. Your core was aching,wanting more than just his skilled hands to bring you to your climax. Joe looked at you with a smirk as you grimaced slightly from the arousal between your thighs. Sam and Jess got up from the table and went off to find the open bar, getting a couple drinks each. Once the couple was far enough away from the table, Joe brought his glistening fingers up to his mouth, sucking his fingers clean. He did it in such a smooth manner that no one would even be suspicious.

“I can’t believe you just did that.” You said lowly, looking at Joe with wide eyes.

“What?” he pulled his index finger out of his mouth with a pop, “fingered you under the table or didn’t let you finish?” He asked smugly. You shook your head and looked away from him. You couldn’t believe him right now. Weeks of not having any intimate interaction and Joe chooses your college roommates wedding to get frisky with you!? You knew you needed to tease him somehow the way he teased you. You looked around the room of the reception venue, trying to think of the perfect way to tease your boyfriend. It suddenly hit you when your eyes landed on the dessert table. A sly smile made its way onto your face as you gazed at the cupcakes sitting on the table.

You got up from your chair and flattened out your maroon dress, glancing at Joe, “I’ll be right back.” Was all you said as you walked off to the dessert table. You grabbed a plate and picked up a vanilla cupcake. A large helping of white buttercream frosting was perfectly piped onto the cupcake and finished off with just a hint of gold sprinkles. Perfect…You thought as you looked at the cupcake. Satisfied with your choice, you walked back over to the table and greeted Joe with a sultry smile. You sat back down in your seat and carefully unwrapped the cupcake. You placed the wrapper down on the plate and picked the cupcake up. Joe watched with lust filled eyes as you brought your finger up to the white frosting, swiping the side of the frosting so a generous amount was on the tip of your finger. You eyed him as you brought your frosting covered finger up to your mouth. You put your finger in your mouth, licking the sugary substance off the tip. You made a show of going back for more.

“Mmm,” you moaned out, “so good.” You brought the cupcake up to your mouth, licking a stripe all the way around the white frosting. You smirked in amusement as you noticed Joe’s jaw clench at your teasing actions. As you licked the frosting you made sure to keep your eyes locked with Joe the entire time. The unbroken eye contact only adding to the built up arousal you both were feeling. You finished teasing Joe with the frosting and that’s when he had had enough with the teasing.

"Meet me in the bathroom..." He whispered in your ear, his hot breath on your neck making you shiver involuntarily. Joe pulled his head away from yours and straightened his checkered suit jacket. You watched as he walked off to the bathroom. His strides were so casual, acting as if he wasn't about to rock your world in a matter of minutes. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth as you saw the door to the one stall bathroom open and close. You glanced around your surroundings, making sure nobody would catch you head off to the bathroom moments after Joe did. Many of the guests were either on the dance floor or at the open bar waiting for their booze, so they wouldn't even take a second glance if they saw you walk past them and head to the bathroom after your lover. You stood from the table and readjusted the maroon material of your dress before you headed towards the bathroom. You reached for the door handle, swinging the bathroom door open. Before you had any time to react, Joe crashed his lips onto yours, feverishly kissing you. You fell into the kiss, his strong arms supporting your body as he reached out to the lock the bathroom door. You pulled away from Joe, already out of breath from the couple harsh kisses.

"We have to be quick," you breathed out, already sliding your panties off as you spoke, "don't want anyone to be suspicious of us." Joe hummed, "Yes ma'am." His lips were on yours again as he took off his suit jacket, throwing it aside to the floor. Your lips connected as Joe pushed you against the sink counter. "Jump," he said huskily. You followed his instructions, sitting against the bathroom counter. Joe began to kiss down your neck, sucking the delicate skin and being sure to leave reddish purple blotches on different areas. As his head moved down to your chest you let your hands fall to his curly hair. Joe had started growing his hair out, and boy did you love it. Especially when he wears a headband. Those dark blonde curls in a headband had you (and others) going absolutely feral. Joe pulled the spaghetti straps of your dress down slightly, just enough to give him access to your bare breasts. He began to kiss the swollen skin of your right breast, tongue swirling over your sensitive nipple before he put his mouth around it and started to suck at the sensitive bud. You bit your lip and moaned in pleasure as your hands tugged at his curls. One thing about Joe was that he always knew how to pleasure you. Whether it took two minutes or twelve, Joe never failed at pleasuring you in ways you didn't even know was possible. After he was satisfied with pleasuring your sensitive nipples, he brought his face back up to yours, breath hot as he said, "I could really use some of that cupcake frosting right now." You cocked your head to the side, "And what would you do with that?" Joe brought his back down to your bare chest.

"I would put some frosting here...and here..." he motioned to both of your breasts. "And then, I would do this," you gasped as his tongue swirled around your nipples once again. Joe chuckled amusingly as he noticed you growing more and more aroused by his actions. "And then, once I'm done there, I would put some right here." He rubbed a veiny hand down your tummy. He looked up at you with lust filled eyes, "And I'd lick it up until theres nothing left." You bit your lip at his description. Too bad you're in a public bathroom and not at home. You could really use that frosting right about now...

"Would you like that, Y/n?" Joe asked, his voice sultry. You nodded, "It sounds so good Joe." He hummed in agreement, "It'll have to wait for later tonight...this will have to do for now."

At this point, you didn't care where you and Joe got intimate. It has been weeks since you've had sex, plus you needed him badly.

"Joe," you whimpered out, "I need you." Joe's veiny hands ran down your torso, stopping when they reached your hips. He gave them a gentle squeeze before he pulled his hands off of them. Joe quickly unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down his legs in one swift motion. His large cock bulging out of his underwear as his erection grew from being out of the restraint of his tight pants. He pulled his undergarments down as you pulled your satin dress to one side, giving him full access to your dripping core through the slit of your dress. Joe lined himself up with your entrance and thrusted himself into you. You threw your head back in pleasure as the tip of his cock repeatedly pushed up against your cervix. You straightened your neck as Joe leaned forward to kiss you, hungrily as he urgently thrusted into you. It was obvious that you were both deprived of one another's touch and intimacy. Joe pumped himself deeper into you as his forehead rested against the crook of your neck.

"You feel so good Y/n," he panted, letting a groan slip out, "so good." You moaned out in blissful pleasure as the speed of his thrusts picked up, "M-more, please." You practically whimpered out, "I'm so close Joe." Another thing about Joe was that he always had you begging for more. You felt your walls tighten around his cock as a familiar warmth pooled in your lower belly. "I'm- uh," you moaned incoherently, "gonna cum." Joe brought a hand down to your core, rubbing his finger against your sensitive clit in order to make you cum harder and faster. You felt like you couldn't form words as Joe pleasured you. Your face contorted into one of pleasure as you felt yourself growing closer and closer to your orgasm. "That's it pretty girl," he said, gritting his teeth as he two was growing close to his release, "cum for me." One last thrust of his hips had your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your legs shaking as your juices coated Joe's cock when you came down from your high. You both were moaning messes as Joe thrusted a couple more times, he went to pull out when his orgasm grew close, but you stopped him. "Don't" you breathed out, stopping him, "cum inside of me, please. I wanna feel you..." That's all Joe needed to hear before he too came, his hot cum filling you up and dripping from your cunt as he pulled out of you. Both of your chests heaved as you recovered from your intense orgasms.

"That was amazing," you breathed out, letting your hands rest against Joe's shoulders, who still stood between your legs. "We should do that again sometime." He chuckled softly, backing away from you and grabbing a handful of paper towels so the two of you could clean yourselves off. He slyly grinned as he said, "We should, but with the frosting next time." You chuckled at his suggestion as you pushed yourself off of the counter, legs wobbly as you stood. You wiped your soaked core and thighs clean of a mixture of yours and Joe's cum, Joe doing the same with his manhood. You readjusted your dress straps and stood in front of the mirror, fixing your hair and straightening out your dress so that nobody would know you were busy getting your guts rearranged in the bathroom. Joe stood next to you, fixing his dark blonde curls before he zipped his maroon pants. You turned to him and wrapped your arms around his body, the two of you leaning in to share a passionate kiss. Joe pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. You smiled softly up at him, staring into those blue eyes you were obsessed with.

"We should go back out there." He said lowly. You nodded in agreement, "You go first." he said, pushing you gently towards the bathroom door. You unlocked the door, swinging it open and walking out of the bathroom. Thankfully, nobody seemed to be waiting on the occupied bathroom. You walked back over to yours and Joe's table. As you got closer you saw Sam and Jess sitting in their chairs, laughing about something with one another. Jess' eyes lit up as she saw you come back to the table and sit down. "There you are," she smiled, "we were wondering where you went."

You had to come up with a lie. Or not, they didn't have to hear the whole truth. "I was in the bathroom." Sam nodded, "I assumed. Where's Joe?" Your breath hitched, "Oh he's-." You felt a hand press against your back. "Right here." Joe said with a small smile as he sat back down in his chair. He let out a breath, "I was on my way to the bar, got caught up talking with some fans." Jess nodded, "Same thing happened to Sam."

Sam stood from his chair and excused himself. You looked over at Joe, smiling softly at him as he placed a hand on your thigh. Something about him looked different...

Your eyes widened as you saw Sam walk back to the table with Joe's checkered suit jacket in his hands. Oh no. You mentally cursed yourself as Sam stood in front of you and Joe, his lips in a straight line as he held the jacket up.

"Any idea why this was on the bathroom floor?" Joe shrugged, his cheeks turning pink, "Oops." Was all he said as he took the jacket from Sam.

You and Joe may have gotten caught, but it was totally worth it.

hey loves!

a double update? wow, its your lucky night babes ;)

i literally NEVER write smut, so i aplogize if it's not good. but i won't lie, this had me giggling and kicking my feet in a few spots🤭 some parts I'm shocked i could write, BUT i’m actually very proud of myself for writing it so yay lol

if you absolutely hated this please be nice. like i said, i dont ever write smut. this idea came to me when i was eating a cupcake at my grad party. i knew i just had to write it HAHA

anyways, i hope everyone is doing well! thank you so much for reading my work and always having something sweet to say about it. it means so much to me🤍

tags: @wickedfun9 @theoneandonlyfanz @burrowstyles5 @sublimemusic-rebel @stainednailpolishremover

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #joe burrow smut #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow fic

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thewertsearch · 5 months

Text

Mega-Giga Ask Comp: Part 3

@manorinthewoods asked: I'll be honest, I wrote the Locked Tomb ask having not read the Locked Tomb series. I literally only know the starting and ending strokes of the first book. That being said, I do like the half-soul-Sollux idea, and it works pretty well with the Locked Tomb's general theme of Lyctorhood, and how knotted the whole situation with Alecto, Gideon, and Harrow ends up being. (What is even going on with Nona) ~LOSS (4/13/24) @manorinthewoods asked: You know, if you hadn't already read Gideon the Ninth, I'd have recommended it as a good second liveblog. It really does fit your preferred sort of mystery. From all the clues presented, you could probably hit very close to the ultimate solution to the Lyctoral puzzle - as close as anybody could be expected to get. ~LOSS (25/4/24) @manorinthewoods asked: The Locked Tomb's prose is pretty good. On occasion, it happens to chime with a sound of 'Homestuck', but I only recall that twice so far in my reading. I like the skelebook. ~LOSS (27/4/24)

Once again, I'm glad my hidden agenda - convincing this blog's entire readership to check out The Locked Tomb - is bearing fruit.

I agree! TLT does occasionally give Homestuck vibes, presumably because its author is a fan. For the most part, though, its prose style is all its own.

Anonymous asked: Reference to American culture: the sphere of Jade's home dropping and the timer that preceded it are references to the Times Square Ball, an annual event held every New Year's Eve. A giant ball descends down a pole at 11:59 PM and reaches the bottom at 12:00 AM, January 1. I believe that you can figure out why the reference was included in the first place. Anonymous asked: btw the gamzee page was released on new years. ‘the miracle of a new beginning’ is the new year and the lab dropping is supposed to be a reference to the ball dropping in times square

Some America Lore here that I wasn't aware of.

I was wondering exactly what Gamzee meant by 'a new beginning'. Maybe Alternia practices the tradition as well.

@omnilew asked: the way you speculate and go indepth into sburbs features and how it affects the kids, made a silly headcanon that your kidsona is reading the comic while playing out their session though this is mainly because "Eventually, we were bound to cross a couple of wires that should never have been allowed to touch" kinda references chargerkind

I like it! Maybe my 'sonas have access to a more in-depth version of Rose's walkthrough, and are adding their own commentary in quiet moments during their own adventures.

@manorinthewoods asked: Your excitement over the resurrection of Dream Jade gave me a form of suspenseful mirth. Seeing how happy you were at her resurrection, while also knowing exactly what came of it, is perhaps textbook dramatic irony. If only you'd read a panel further… ~LOSS (26/4/24)

She looked so happy to be back, too! That certainly didn't last long.

She was prototyped with a smiling corpse, though. Maybe that was just her 'default' expression, and it vanished as soon as her actual feelings asserted themselves.

@thetinygladiator asked: 'I hadn’t really thought about Sally’s ectobiological parent - but now that I am, I think the funniest possible option is that it’s her landlady.' okay but i just gotta say… this immediately makes me think about how that relates to the house-building aspect. Like, with the giant tower, are they gonna charge the Imps for rent? That might work, honestly. Where do imps even live? Bet they don't have good AC or Wi-Fi, lemme tell ya.

300 GRIST/DAY NO CRUXTRUDER NO ALCHEMY NO PETS

@manorinthewoods submitted: How many computers would you have on your person if you were playing Sburb? Jade recommends at least 5. I say I'd have a laptop, phone, a spare of both of those, and computer gloves if I need to compute really fast. Also spare gloves. Speaking of the phone - is it possible for people to put phones in their pockets? Given Karkat (and a minor gag in Act 6), we can assume that it's difficult or uncommon to carry items without using the Sylladex - or maybe it's just tied to your dexterity, and you have to hold things gingerly to avoid captchaloguing them when you pick them up. On the other hand, there's no issues with accidentally storing something you've unstored and are using - so how does the Sylladex actually work? Do people just instinctively store their items once they're done using them? Is it difficult to avoid storing something you aren't using anymore? Can you stuff phones in pockets? If not, then why develop a PDA in the first place? Given the Sylladex, it should be much more commercially viable to make a tablet. ~LOSS (24/4/24)

Since Karkat can physically pick up a book, you can probably pocket your gear - although maybe there's a difference between holding an object and trying to add it to a physical 'inventory'. Either way, the issue is easily circumvented by employing wearable tech, like the kids do.

As depicted in my alchemy binge, my primary computing device would be the Pocket Holodex, which can remote into any computer in my sylladex.

In addition, my Modular Ring shirt is also a computer, which can presumably be augmented by adding extra mod1ules over time. I'd probably also captchalogue every computer in my apartment, of which I currently have six.

I'd be exploring the Medium with a minimum of seven computers, plus one pseudo-computer, plus a phone. Jade would certainly approve.

@iris-in-the-dark-world asked: the tension in act 5 act 2 is perfect, i love it. maybe even moreso on rereads, the foreshadowing and generally ominous vibes always get to me @heliotropopause asked: You're getting to the part where the comic really starts hitting its stride. This'll be fun.

The ever-present countdown certainly adds a degree of urgency to the situation.

I'm really liking the pacing of this current act, as things slowly progress towards some critical point - one which, for now, is still shrouded in mystery.

Anonymous asked: Forwarding another ask for the person with no account ~DJ: Eridan's deal seems to be based on Wizardry Herbert - a proto-Homestuck work by Hussie. A parody of Harry Potter dealing with whether magic is real. [] But Methods of Rationality began in February 2010, so "Harry Potter but obsessed with science" might have also been an intentional reference to that.-RM @heliotropopause asked: Eridan Ampora and the Methods of Rationality sure is an idea for a fanfic. He'd be so bad at it.

Eridan would be an extremely funny choice for a ratfic protagonist. He'd be so smarmy about it - and thus, a perfect addition to their ranks.

What would the definitive Homestuck ratfic be called, do you think? I think Tool-Assisted Speedrun would be a decent choice.

@killedthekat asked: An interesting thing about doomed timelines is how they serve to prevent stable loop metagaming. As a basic example, in a typical stable time loop scenario, if you observe yourself unharmed in the future, you can throw yourself into high danger high reward situations and know that probability will twist itself into whatever improbable knot it needs to do to keep you safe. But in homestuck if you lean too hard on predestination you just get shunted into a doomed timeline for your trouble.

It's true. Timehopping just isn't fun in Homestuck, as you're constantly walking a tightrope, desperately trying to stay in the one timeline that might not get you killed.

It's a good way to prevent time-travelers from becoming overpowered - something which is probably necessary for a comic which makes such heavy use of the concept.

Anonymous asked: Now that you're updating while HS^2 is, I've realised that while I'm barely keeping up with ^2, I just yelled "Oh! Upd8!" out loud when I checked your blog, so to me? You're the real continuation of Homestuck

What an honor!

For veterans of the comic, this blog is more Homestuck: Revisited than Homestuck 2. As a woman who would much rather watch video essays about old Simpsons episodes than new seasons of the show, I completely understand why some would prefer the latter.

@manorinthewoods asked: I've since finished Worm. I think Sophia's by far the best Vriska candidate. Lisa, Amy, and Colin are less so, I think. ~LOSS (21/4/24)

Oh, nice, you got all the way through it! Worm is an absolute behemoth, and I know a lot of people who started it, and gave up halfway through.

Sophia is likely the closest match to Vriska in personality. I agree with an earlier comment, though, that the most Vriska-like character in terms of audience reaction is probably Amy.

Anonymous asked: Cannot believe someone would propose a Homestuck/Locked Tomb scenario and leave Gamzee as part of a spare pairing, when the Homestuck fic The Serendipity Gospels, written by the author of The Locked Tomb, stars Gamzee and Terezi in the proto-necromancer/cavalier dynamic. Absolutely appropriate to have Gamzee as Ninth though, since his facepaint is the direct ancestor to Harrow's. Gamzee and Terezi is such a funny pairing to go with. I'm certainly looking forward to checking out The Serendipity Gospels when I'm done with the comic - both to compare it to Homestuck and to the Locked Tomb.

As am I. Apparently it was left unfinished - but considering how long this liveblog is taking, maybe Taz will have updated by the time I'm done!

Wishful thinking, of course, but I live in hope.

@bladekindeyewear submitted:

(I started Dragon's Dogma 2 a couple weeks ago and did my best to a Gideon Nav pawn (NPC ally), facepaint and two-hander and all, and the "Jaunty Straightforward" voice selection has been EXTREMELY distracting / game-improving because her voice and attitude chatting beside my player all the time sound almost straight out of the audiobook.)

Damn, you really captured her essence. Pawn is a very fitting title for her, too :(

@manorinthewoods asked: On the topic of blood color names - Blue through Purple were renamed in Hiveswap. Originally, Vriska was Cerulean, Equius was Blue, and Gamzee was Indigo - which I like more than their modern incarnations. I think 'bronze' might also be a Hiveswap thing, although I won't dispute it, and rust might have been renamed to burgundy? Maybe burgundy is a synonym. Idk. ~LOSS (4/13/24)

I think I prefer the likes of olive, indigo and bronze over more generic terms like green, blue and brown, which would quickly lead to confusion.

Vriska's blood, for example, is also a shade of blue, so it would be a little strange if blue blood was an official term, but it didn't apply to her.

@mxamericanblue asked:hi i have been absolutely BINGING your live blog rn and i gotta just get this out this is so so cool watching you react has been giving me so much joy, i don't have a computer so i can't really experience homestuck again casually when i want to but watching you read it and react and THEORIZE??? omg your theories have been so fuckin killer it's given me a new appreciation for Hussie as a story teller and how spectacular this comic truly was thank you for this, i've been having a grand ol' time, and it's all cuz of u

Thank you! I feel like I've been theorizing a lot less since I came back from my hiatus, mostly because the comic hasn't introduced many big mysteries recently - aside, of course, from Aradia's unexplained explosion.

(Pre-posting update: Since first drafting this ask, my statement above is no longer true, as Gamzee has been revealed as Homestuck's most important character. What the actual fuck.)

@lilietsblog asked: re fifth house aradia: she's an archeolodist :)

Oh, shit, you're right.

Maybe she'd be in more danger from the Lyctor than I thought.

@ben-guy asked: Vriska's ascension to god-tier is, in my personal opinion, one of the most visually striking scenes in all of Homestuck. Also, one of the panels you didn't include (which is understandable w/ Homestuck lol. Sacrifices for the sake of brevity) specifically the one where she has him write "[…] plenty of time for that l8r" above her head… Think about the position she would have had to move him to to write that.

…jesus, Vriska. You can't just do that!

@martinkhall asked: "What is treasure but a fortune, waiting to be found?" Or stolen if you're the THIEF of Light.

Son of a bitch. That's why she's a pirate, isn't it?

Because a Thief of Light is someone who steals fortunes!

@manorinthewoods asked: Eidolons. A species purpose-built to play Sburb, while breaking every mechanic you can solely with biology. Eidolons don't sleep, and live in a hive mind. Their psychologies are very poor at recognising distinct things, with Eidolons seeing the world more in terms of a blur of colors and shapes. They thus have a very difficult time understanding Classes and Aspects, never mind that their mythology never involved deities, and they never invented chess, or games of any sort… ~LOSS (15/4/24)

The idea of a species engineered from the ground up to be Players does raise the interesting question of whether there was a first species to play Sburb.

Of course, with all the time-loops we've been working with, there might not have been a first species - unless Sburb was 'created' in some sort of metatemporal space, 'before' any loops were put in place.

@manorinthewoods submitted: You are very good at analysing Vriska's psyche. Vriska's character was executed very well, I think, and I would hate her with a burning passion platonically but to a high degree if I knew her in real life. She's just… really horrible. She's a horrible person. And half her shtick is that she keeps evading consequences in spite of that. All of her mental torture of Tavros, for instance, ends in her becoming the most powerful player in the session. What sort of justice is that, Terezi? ~LOSS (15/4/24)

She hasn't entirely evaded consequences, but it's undeniable that none of the consequences she's experienced have actually stopped her from doing the things she does.

She's lost an arm, an eye, she's been beaten up, she's bled to death, and literally none of it has caused her to let up on Tavros, even a little. Letting up on Tavros, to her, would be worse than any physical harm, because it would be an attack on her worldview.

@sanctferum asked: "Has anything come of this since, actually? I haven’t heard anything about this new comic – although I do scroll in the opposite direction any time I see a reference to Homestuck, so I guess it makes sense that I wouldn’t." - The general feel I've gotten from the community has been largely positive re: the new Homestuck 2 updates, which have indeed been happening. It's being updated once per month for now, so a lot slower going than non-hiatused OG Homestuck. But I'm enjoying it so far!

Once a month seems more sustainable than Hussie's original barely-believable pace for the comic. With Hussie no longer at the helm, expecting daily panels seems like a pretty big ask - most people don't have the time, money or energy do what Hussie did.

Anonymous asked: I don't know if you read UTDR fanfiction, but this Tavros and Vriska situation reminds me a little bit of Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach. she's trying to push him to his limits and torture him into being someone who will kill, and he just won't. say, what's your read on comparing Flowey : Vriska?

Flowey does what he does because he's lost his emotions, but Vriska does what she does because she's consumed by her emotions.

If anything, Flowey has more in common with Aradia. They're both time-travelers whose ability to feel is somewhat compromised.

Anonymous asked: WHATTTTTT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BACK???????? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL ON A LONG ASS HIATUS BUT I JUST JOW DISCOVERED TUMBLR ISNT GIVING ME POST NOTIFICATIONS FOR YOU ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE IT TURNED ON FOR YOU AND IT WORKS FOR OTHER BLOGS???? WHAT THE HELL. IM GOING INSANE.

This has happened before - but before, I was also removed from Tumblr's search function, which doesn't seem to be the case this time.

Is anyone else having issues with Wertsearch post notifications?

@elkian asked: So has anyone mentioned the godhood joke yet? (The God Tiers costumes have hoods. God Hoods. Badum-tish)

LOL, I did miss that.

Anonymous asked: Fun Homestuck fact! After writing Karkat, someone brought up that the writer of the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book sounded a lot like Karkat. Andrew responded by telling them to imagine that it was actually written in all caps, basically canonizing that the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book was written by Karkat. At least, I think that's how that went? ~LOSS (28/2/23)

And it could be any Karkat, too. Maybe one of the Karkats from a doomed timeline actually learned to code from Sollux, and became a famous ~ATH developer.

@morganwick asked: So with conversation 8=8 apparently taking place in the immediate aftermath of Rose destroying her gate (even technically during Descend), and Rose's attitude towards Kanaya in the part of it that we see, does that change how much you think her attitude in their previous conversations reflects her genuine mental state?

Oh yeah, no, I’m pretty sure she was genuinely in a bad mood here. Not really so much because of Kanaya, and I think the anger directed at Kanaya specifically was inauthentic, but the bad mood itself was real. She'd recently been injected with several months of traumatic memories, after all.

@manorinthewoods asked: That panel, of John in Vriska's 'fabulous outfit', is actually pretty neat, because you can see from the proportions how young John really is. He's small, not even fully a teenager yet, and he's been thrown into this chaotic world of humans and trolls, quadrants, violence and danger. Everyone in the game must be scared, in some degree, but none of them ever show it. It makes you wonder just how strong Skaia's children really are. ~LOSS (29/4/23)

Seriously. In what universe are 13-year-olds the people most qualified to make universes? Sburb has some very funny ideas about the optimal way it should be played.

I suppose this is something that had to be true, though, for Homestuck to be the coming-of-age story that Hussie wanted it to be.

Anonymous asked: My interpretation has always been that "the Blind Prophets" are actually just Terezi herself, in a time loop-y/predestined way. She's blind, her class is Seer, AKA prophet, and those are her numerals. Also, on an unrelated note, but to weigh in on your last ask, according to Latin conventions, the plural of lusus is lusus. Does Homestuck follow those conventions? Well…

Or, since there are two Seers in Homestuck, maybe they’re Terezi and Rose. She’s a Light Player, so a blinding would be suitably ironic.

Anonymous asked: re: captchalogue codes and the states of objects: it takes a relatively small change in the physical arrangement of atoms and whatnot to turn a ghost dad poster into, say, a little monsters poster, but the two have a relatively large difference between their conceptual nature. on the other hand, it would take a relatively large rearrangement of atoms to make the slime pogo ride be anything other than a slime pogo ride. perhaps this makes the former change state more easily than the latter? alternatively, maybe the captcha system just knows that all it would really take to make the slime pogo ride stop being covered in oil is soap and water and it's happy to do that on its own, but paper is harder to clean so it wants you to jump through more hoops for that one new question: if john had used his posters for alchemy before he was able to see their defacement, would the resultant objects also be beclowned? evidence seems to suggest that players with unawakened dream selves Will draw on their walls in their sleep and not see it until Ready, so there not being mechanisms in place to deal with that seems less likely than the alternative to me, but especially considering people who aren't them Can see the drawings, how??? would that even??? work??? what would've happened if john had done alchemy with the arms cake. i think it would be funny to see that

I think he’d still get the clown posters.

The kids keep accidentally making magic items, so It's clearly possible for someone to alchemize an object with properties they didn't foresee. Therefore, I think John would make what appears, to him, to be a normal poster - but Rose would still see it as it truly is.

Anonymous asked: any thoughts on what the horrorterrors are? beyond their (admittedly vague) intentions?

I think they’re a sign of the wider cosmology beyond Sburb - and, more specifically, a sign that there is a wider cosmology beyond Sburb.

I don't know if we'll necessarily get more expansion on them than we've already had, because their whole shtick is that they're unknowable. Needless to say, I'd love to be proven wrong.

#asks #full liveblog #act 5.2 #ya girl also thought she had more asks to finish. I swear there were like ten but there were actually only two

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chirpsythismorning · 3 months

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WSQK Update

The Twitter account for WSQK Radio has reached 100(ish) songs! And while it's currently unknown whether or not this account is in any shape or form associated with Stranger Things, I still want to give a breakdown about it as well as some reasons why this account intrigues me so much, because there are actually quite a few.

For some context about when and how this started, it might be helpful to know that the first (un)official leak regarding the existence of the WSQK filming location occurred on January 18th, the day prior to WSQK making their first post.

That same Friday when WSQK made their first post, fans also got official 'Week 2' BTS from Ross, which more openly acknowledged the existence of the radio station location in comparison to his previous posts for s5.

What then followed was a rocky start in terms of this Twitter account’s approach at making posts. Initially, they only made posts consisting of lyrics, followed by another post with a short clip of the song those previous lyrics came from.

After less than a week of the account being sporadically active, they became very consistent and continued their roll-out of lyrics + video, and then adding in + dialogue, every single day. There are a few outliers, with them not making a post on March 14th and March 20th, but the first time they had a big break in between posts was from March 22nd-March 24th, notably with their March 21st's post being related to Will's birthday:

After the March 21st post, and with their return on the 25th, they officially switched it up from posting every day, to every other day, and more recently with a consistency of every 2-3ish days.

But still, over 5 months later (roughly 156 days), they remain active.

When it comes to the type of posts this account interacts with, they stick to strictly liking and sometimes retweeting/replying vaguely to posts regarding the WSQK location, along with liking the posts of anyone that replies to their posts.

After some time though, I noticed they began posting songs that they already posted before, just with different lyrics and lines from the show along with them. This actually makes sense given that they are acting as a radio station, where songs are known for playing and replaying numerous times.

Which brings me to the most interesting aspect about WSQK, which is that while a good chunk of the songs posted have featured on the show at some point, there are also a decent amount that have not.

Here is a playlist of the songs for reference:

Here are some songs specifically that pique my interest. Some I will elaborate on, while others I might just share and let you figure out for yourself why I think they're worth mentioning.

This song was originally the third song they posted, though it was removed about a week later. Hard to tell why exactly they removed it. Maybe since it was still early on. they mixed something up and decided to get rid of it? Regardless, lyrically there could be some significance to this song choice.

Since we've obviously heard Kate featured on the show already, I don't think it would be too hard for a fan to include this. Though, it being added this early on is an interesting choice to me. Lyrically a song like many on this playlist that I think have a specific meaning which could fit quite well with a potential storyline in s5. It is also one of quite a few songs that have been posted at least twice.

While this song did feature in s3 and s4, this song is one of many that are unlisted for the show. It doesn't feature on any official soundtrack or playlist and so you'd have to already know it to recognize it or go out of your way to search it for yourself. And the meaning is also ummmm... yeah.

I actually got barely any results when looking into this song and its lyrics. Though I did discover that it is most known for featuring in an episode of Miami Vice in 1986.

I could only share 10 songs here, so if you want to look at more or even all of them, I highly recommend taking a look, even if it's only out of mere curiosity. I do plan on going through and confirming all the songs one by one again because I probably mixed up or missed one or two (or more). Scrolling down a Twitter account until their first tweet is not exactly fun, but this should be accurate for the most part!

Something else I want to mention is that @erikiara80, who also keeps an eye on the account, noticed a while ago that they have always followed 11 people, some fans and some connected to the show. There was one time they unfollowed some accounts and then instantly followed some others, keeping them at 11 follows, which means the number could be an intentional choice.

A while ago, it hit me that, if this is a hypothetical radio station, wouldn't they also take requests? So Erika helped me with that by requesting two for them to post, getting this reply:

And they did in fact eventually post those two songs requested... I'll let you guess which ones :)

Basically, I felt the need to bring this whole ordeal back to the conversation now, not because I am convinced that it is run by someone connected to the show, but because the eeriness around it persists.

Keeping something going on this long would not only require someone to be very consistent, but to also have the willpower to not go over the top interacting with fans (which I don't think most fans have the self control to not take advantage of). This account doesn't seem to have any bias towards anything. In fact they remain completely impartial, sticking to their script. They seem fine with remaining in the shadows with fans assuming they are insignificant or otherwise, all while keeping the act going almost a half a year later.

With s5 getting no promotion outside of Ross's (sometimes) weekly BTS photo-dumps, this season's roll-out has been almost non-existent. Usually we would get phone numbers to call and obsess over, even 1-2 years out from release, and yet nothing.

I find this approach interesting because it does honestly resemble something I could picture the show doing to hype up s5. If the radio station is going to be a prominent location, then it offers up a really creative way to interact with fans as a way to promote the show.

Them humbly leaving hints about the final season through songs via a ‘radio station’, could parallel similarly to easter egg like approaches they've presented in the past. Only this time (the last time) it would have existed and built up for months with most not knowing about it, offering up a sleuth different songs fans could dig into if it was ever revealed to be promotion for s5.

With their being whispers that we could get something revealed in regards to s5 very soon, and with this playlist finally reaching 100 songs, I thought I would celebrate and remind ya'll it still exists in case you need an excuse to overanalyze something new.

#byler #stranger things #stranger things 5 #wsqk #st music #st5 promotion #st5 predictions #can you guess which two songs i requested?#and no i did not request smalltown boy

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bluishfrog · 5 months

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HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)

This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).

I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.

I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.

At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.

I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.

Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.

When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.

One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.

(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)

I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.

Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.

Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:

Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)

Love, blu

#blu rambles #like a LOT #but if you made it to the end of this post you get a hug <3 #bluishfrog art

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taylor-on-your-dash · 1 year

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Writing of 1989 Timeline

1989 changed Taylor's career forever. If Red had just sprinkles of pop sounds, 1989 was marketed as a pure pop album from the get-go.

While many fans and critics kind of expected that, it seems like:

Taylor didn't have a clear direction from the start (except for the cohesiveness): “I wanted it to be a sonically cohesive album, and it ended up really being the first I’ve done since Fearless. I also wanted the songs to sound exactly how the emotions felt. I know that’s pretty vague, so I really didn’t know where it was going to go, but I knew that I wanted to work with the collaborators I had such crazy electricity with on Red, like Max Martin. I wanted to do some things that sounded nothing like what we had done before.”

She knew that she didn't want another Red: “When people say that they like one of my albums, like when people told me that Red was their favorite album I'd done, I didn't take that as, 'So, I should make that again'. I took that as, 'Great, awsome, now I wanna make them like this new album just as much if not more than the last album.' But I want them to like it for different reasons.”

She was worried about the change of direction of her music: “I worry about everything. Some days I wake up in a mind-set of, like, ‘Okay, it’s been a good run.’ By afternoon, I could have a change of mood and feel like anything is possible and I can’t wait to make this kind of music I’ve never made before. And then by evening, I could be terrified of the whole thing again. And then at night, I’ll write a song before bed.”

October 17, 2012: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor writes This Love in LA. This will be the last song produced by Nathan Chapman and the only one recorded in Nashville.

“The last time I wrote a poem that ended up being a song, I was writing in my journal and I was writing about something that had happened in my life – it was about a year ago – and I just wrote this really really short poem. It said, 'This love is good /this love is bad / this love is alive back from the dead / these hands had to let it go free / and this love came back to me.' And I just wrote it down, closed the book and put it back on my night stand […] All of a sudden in my head I just started hearing this melody happen, and then I realized that it was going to be a song.”

Handwritten lyrics:

November 18, 2012: Taylor meets Jack Antonoff and his band, fun., for the first time in Frankfurt, Germany, while at the MTV Europe Music Awards. They bond over 80s music.

January 4, 2013: Taylor is seen in a boat without Harry Styles, ready to return to LA from the Virgin Islands.

She will wear the same dress in the Out Of The Woods music video (and also in Look What You Made Me Do)

January 10, 2013: Taylor tweets "Back in the studio. Uh oh...". She will confirm that the song was All You Had To Do Was Stay on October 27, 2014 on Tumblr.

Candids here;

“There’s a song on my album called 'All You Had To Do Was Stay.' I was having this dream, that was actually one of those embarrassing dreams, where you’re mortified in the dream, you’re like humiliated. In the dream, my ex had come to the door to beg for me to talk to him or whatever, and I opened up the door and I went to go say, 'Hi,' or 'What are you doing here?' or something — something normal — but all that came out was this high-pitched singing that said, 'Stay!' It was almost operatic. So I wrote this song, and I used that sound in the song. Weird, right? I woke up from the dream, saying the weird part into my phone, figuring I had to include it in something because it was just too strange not to. In pop, it’s fun to play around with little weird noises like that.”

January 11, 2013: Taylor is seen again at Conway Studios, likely to continue working on All You Had To Do Was Stay.

January 15, 2013: Taylor posts a picture of herself in the studio, with the caption "Somewhere in LA". She'll later reveal that she was writing How You Get The Girl.

“The song ‘How You Get The Girl’ is a song that I wrote about how you get the girl back if you ruined the relationship somehow and she won’t talk to you anymore. Like, if you broke up with her and left her on her own for six months and then you realize you miss her. All the steps you have to do to edge your way back into her life, because she’s probably pretty mad at you. So it’s kind of a tutorial. If you follow the directions in the song, chances are things will work out. Or you may get a restraining order.”

March 6, 2013: Taylor is seen going to a studio in LA.

March 23, 2013: Taylor posts a picture of herself playing guitar, which might mean that she was working on a new song: "Pre show. Columbia, South Carolina". This could be either Wonderland, New Romantics or a vault song.

May 27, 2013: While in Rhode Island for the Memorial Day weekend, Jack plays Taylor an instrumental track that will later become I Wish You Would.

“'I Wish You Would’ is a song that I wrote with Jack Antonoff and it was the first song we ever worked on together. I think, for this song, we wanted to create a sort of John Hughes movie visual with pining and, you know, one person’s over here and misses the other person but is too prideful and won’t say it. Meanwhile this other person is here and missing the same person; they’re missing each other but not saying it. And I had this happen in my life and so I wanted to kind of narrate it in a very cinematic way where it’s like you’re seeing two scenes play out and then in the bridge you’re seeing the final scene, where it resolves itself. So it says, 'It’s a crooked love in a straight line down, makes you wanna run and hide but it makes you turn right back around.’ It kind of is like that dramatic love that’s never really quite where it needs to be and that tension it creates.”

[Voice Memo Intro Transcript] “This is another way I’ve written songs recently. This is a song I did with Jack Antonoff, and Jack is one of my friends and so were hanging out and he pulled out his phone and goes ‘I made this amazing track the other day. It’s so cool, I love these guitar sounds.’ And he played it for me and immediately I could hear this finished song in my head, and I just said ‘Please, please let me have that. Let me play with it, send it to me.’ And so he sent it to me and I was on tour and this was me playing the track on my laptop recording me singing the vocal into my phone and it ended up being a song called 'I Wish You Would', because Jack wrote back and said ‘I love that’. So this is another way of writing, it’s writing to track.”

[Secret Sessions] “Taylor said that she wrote ‘I Wish You Would’ a couple of months after her and Harry Styles broke up, and they decided to become friends again and she said this was the first time she had become friends with an ex, to the point where they were comfortable enough to talk about why the relationship didn’t work out. She said he told her about how, after they broke up, he bought a house literally one road adjacent to hers. Every day he would drive home, and accidentally turn into her street, and he told her how he just wanted to stop at her house and see her, but he never did. She said this song is about while he was in the car making the decision to get out the car and see her, she was sitting in her bedroom, wishing he would make the move and go back to her and just pitch up at her house. She compared it to a classic John Hughes movie where both parties want the same thing but neither has the guts to say anything. Honestly, she spoke so fondly of that relationship.” [this is from a secret sessioner and therefore it should be taken with a grain of salt]

Between May 28 and June 2, 2013: Taylor writes I Wish You Would. She settled in Rhode Island basically all summer, so it's possible that she went to Jack's studio in New York by car without being seen and especially photographed, cause I couldn't find any pictures with the same outfit. Conway Studios are also credited but it's possible that she recorded background vocals there. Taylor was in LA in late August.

June 7, 2013: During an interview at the CMA Music Festival, Taylor confirms that she has started writing her next album.

[Transcript by me] “[The new album] is starting, all the anxiety is starting and when the anxiety starts, then the writing happens right afterward usually. I like to write for about two years before I'm finished with an album because at this point I kind of know that whenever I read in the first year is going to get away, because I'm going to like it but it's going to sound a little bit like the last project I had, and the second year usually ends up sounding like the next project. So I think at this point I feel like staying the same is the easy way to go but it's not the way that I want to go creatively. I think you need to challenge yourself, I think you need to change up your influences, I think you need to be inspired by different things that you've been inspired by before. It's harder to call people you don't know, it's harder to think of topics you haven't covered and think of new ways to say old emotions that everyone feels. I think one of the things that I'm happiest with in the last year is the acceptance level in country music for me experimenting and for me trying to evolve and challenge myself musically because I think it's never felt better to be on that stadium stage performing knowing that and so welcoming of change.”

July 13, 2013: After a show in New Jersey, Taylor has an interview with Rolling Stone, where she says that she has been writing a lot.

“The floodgates just opened the last couple weeks,” she says of the songwriting process. “I’m getting to that point where I’m irritating to be around because I’ll be with you for half the conversation and then the second half of the conversation I’m clearly editing the second verse of whatever I’m writing in my head. I really loved collaborating: you work with a lot of different people and you find the people you have this dream connection with in the studio. I know those people and I know the ones I want to go back to. But I also have a really long list of the people I admire and I would really love to go and contact. So that’s kind of where that is. I think that the idea of having a different approach to every single one of my albums is so exciting to me. I never want to make the same record twice. Why do it? What’s the point? It’s so overwhelming that when you’re starting a project there are such endless possibilities if you’re willing to evolve and experiment. If you’re willing to become a different version of yourself, you can really go anywhere with it. And that’s kind of where I am. The kind of the laboratory experimental stage of really catching onto a new thing that I’m liking.”

Somewhere around June and early September 2013: Taylor and Jack write Sweeter Than Fiction. No credits are available but we know that it's the second song on which Taylor and Jack worked, so that places it before I Wish You Would and Out Of The Woods.

In 2014, Lena Dunham (Jack's girlfriend at the time) posted this photo of Jack and Taylor working on the song at Jack's house.

September 15, 2013: Jack completes the instrumental track that will later become Out Of The Woods, after his show was cancelled.

[Jack Antonoff] “When I did the track for Out of the Woods, which is a Taylor song that I'm really proud of, there was some issue at a venue and our show was canceled that night and I didn't have my stuff, I had left it on the bus, so I only had these old samples on what was on my laptop, and caught up that 'oh oh'' thing, and I only had one drum kit on there, and these dumb little things sometimes turn into a great song.”

Somewhere around September and October 2013: Taylor writes Out Of The Woods.

Voice memo here;

[Jack Antonoff] Although Antonoff and Swift shared studio time for some of their other 1989 songs while working throughout 2014, “Out of the Woods” was completed as a long-distance collaboration. “She’s very natural -— when she gets an idea, it just happens very quickly. I would send her these tracks, and when an idea would happen, we’d be 5,000 miles apart or whatever, but she would start emailing me these voice notes like crazy and it would just be happening so quickly that there’d be this excitement. There’s a frantic feeling in the song,” he says. “What’s interesting about ‘Out of the Woods’ is that it doesn’t really let up. It starts with a pretty big anthemic vocal sample that’s me, and then there’s a drum sample that kicks in that’s kind of huge, and then you don’t really know how you’re going to get any bigger, but then the chorus hits and it just explodes even larger. And then the bridge hits, and it gets even more huge.“When I was working on the track, I was thinking a lot about My Morning Jacket,” Antonoff continues, “and how everything they do, every sound is louder than the last, and somehow it feels like everything is just f—ing massive. And that’s the feeling that I went for. It started out big, and then I think the obvious move would have been to do a down chorus, but the idea was to keep pushing.” Antonoff is excited to share the rest of his work with Swift on 1989, but he views “Out of the Woods” as a highlight on the project. “This song means a great deal to me. On a production level, on a writing level, Taylor’s lyrics and her melodies — there’s something very important about this song.”

[Jack Antonoff] “After 'I Wish You Would' and 'Sweeter Than Fiction', we did 'Out Of The Woods'. So it was the third thing we worked on together, and probably the easiest. I sent her the track for it, and she sent back a voice note with the verse and chorus in what felt like five seconds. And it was just perfect. It's eerie how similar it is to what the final product is.”

“It kind of conjured up all these feelings of anxiety I had in a relationship where everybody was watching, everybody was commenting on it. You’re constantly just feeling like, ‘Are we out of the woods yet? What’s the next thing gonna be? What’s the next hurdle we’re gonna have to jump over?’ It was interesting to write about a relationship where you’re just honestly like, ‘This is probably not gonna last, but how long is it gonna last?’ Those fragile relationships... It doesn’t mean they’re not supposed to happen. The whole time we were having happy memories, or crazy memories, or ridiculously anxious times, in my head it was just like, ‘Are we okay yet? Are we there yet? Are we out of this yet?’”

“That line is in there because it's not only the actual, literal narration of what happened in a particular relationship I was in, it's also a metaphor. 'Hit the brakes too soon' could mean the literal sense of, we got in an accident and we had to deal with the aftermath. But also, the relationship ended sooner than it should've because there was a lot of fear involved. And that song touches on a huge sense of anxiety that was, kind of, coursing through that particular relationship, because we really felt the heat of every single person in the media thinking they could draw up the narrative of what we were going through and debate and speculate. I don't think it's ever going to be easy for me to find love and block out all those screaming voices.”

October 21, 2013: Sweeter Than Fiction is released. Big Machine was originally not on board with the release since they wanted a dormant period between album releases.

Late 2013: Taylor writes Bad Blood, after Katy Perry announces her Prismatic World Tour.

“For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends,or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?’ Then last year, the other star crossed a line. She did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational – you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”

“That was about losing a friend... But then people cryptically tweet about what you meant. I never said anything that would point a finger in the specific direction of one specific person, and I can sleep at night knowing that. I knew the song would be assigned to a person, and the easiest mark was someone who I didn’t want to be labeled with this song. It was not a song about heartbreak. It was about the loss of friendship.”

October 20 to 22, 2013: Taylor is in Cape Town (South Africa) shooting The Giver. One of the members of the cast is Alexsander Skarsgård. He is said to have inspired Wildest Dreams (or at least he's the most popular theory, as far as I know), because the music video is set in Africa and it features Clint Eastwood's son Scott as love interest, just like Alexsander is actor Stellan Skarsgård's son, but we don't actually know more about the song.

“I think the way I used to approach relationships was very idealistic. I used to go into them thinking, ‘Maybe this is the one – we’ll get married and have a family, this could be forever’. Whereas now I go in thinking, ‘How long do we have on the clock – before something comes along and puts a wrench in it, or your publicist calls and says this isn’t a good idea?’”

Note: Selena Gomez was present when Taylor wrote this song.

Handwritten lyrics:

November 19, 2013: Taylor records Blank Space. This is based on the wall behind her on an Instagram post from this day, the credits, and the behind the scenes clip.

Voice memo here;

Behind the Scenes here;

“Every few years, the media finds something they unanimously agree is annoying about me. 2012-2013 they thought I was dating too much, because I dated two people in a year and a half. ‘Oh, a serial dater. She only writes songs to get emotional revenge on guys. She’s a man-hater, don’t let her near your boyfriend.’ It was kind of excessive and at first it was hurtful, but then I found a little bit of comedy in it. This character is so interesting, though. If you read these gossip sites, they describe how I am so opposite to my actual life: I’m clingy, and I’m awful, and I throw fits, and there’s drama. An emotionally fragile, unpredictable mess. I painted a whole picture of this character. She lives in a mansion with marble floors, she wears Dolce & Gabbana around the house, and she wears animal print unironically. So I created this whole character and I had fun doing it.”

November 21, 2013: While at the American Music Awards, Taylor tells Billboard that she has around seven or eight songs ready.

[Transcript] “We got a lot already,” says Swift. “There are probably seven or eight songs that I know I want on the record. It’s really ahead of schedule for me. I’m just stoked because it’s already evolved into a new sound, and that’s all I wanted. And I would have taken two years to make that happen, but it just kind of happened naturally, so that’s all I could really ask for.”

December 2013: Taylor meets Diane Warren and they write Say, Don't Go.

[Diane Warren to Rolling Stone] Warren, who typically writes on her own, says the two of them “sat down and wrote the song,” which was released Friday as one of 1989 (Taylor’s Version)‘s vault tracks, “from scratch” during the last few days of 2013. She remembers being impressed with how specific Swift was with her lyricism and how considerate she was about how her fans might receive it. “She was very particular about how she said certain things. It was a really interesting experience. She gets her audience,” Warren says. “She’s deeply aware of how her fans want to hear something. I can’t explain it, but that’s probably why she’s the biggest fucking star in the world.”

2013: Taylor writes New Romantics and Wonderland. Not much is known about these songs, except that they were both written in 2013.

[About New Romantics] “People will say, 'Let me set you up with someone', and I’m just sitting there saying, ‘That’s not what I’m doing. I’m not lonely. I’m not looking.’ They just don’t get it. I’ve learned that just because someone is cute and wants to date you, that’s not a reason to sacrifice your independence and allow everyone to say whatever they want about you. I’m not doing that anymore. It’d take someone really special for me to undergo the circumstances I have to go through to experience a date. I don’t know how I would ever have another person in my world trying to have a relationship with me, or a family.”

New Romantics handwritten lyrics:

Wonderland Handwritten lyrics:

January 1, 2014: Taylor records Say, Don't Go.

[Diane Warren to Rolling Stone] Several days after writing the song together, they got into Warren’s office to record a demo, where Swift played it on her acoustic guitar. “We demoed it on New Year’s Day. And I’m a workaholic, and that’s fine for me,” she says. “But I remember being impressed that she did, too. Everybody’s on vacation, but she showed up.”

January 6, 2014: Taylor decides to look for a house in New York.

[Lover Journal] LA. So I've decided I want to look at places in New York. I know I went through this phase months ago, but it has to mean something that i've circled back to it, right? You know what they say, if you love something let it go and if it comes back... blah blah blah. so I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. Dating is awful. Love is fiction/ a myth. I'm over it all.

January 21, 2014: Taylor sends Ryan Tedder the I Know Places Voice Memo.

January 22, 2014: [From the 1989 Booklet] Taylor and Ryan finish and record I Know Places.

“I had this idea of like, when you’re in love, along the lines of 'Out of the Woods’, it’s very precious, it’s fragile. As soon as the world gets ahold of it, whether it’s your friends or people around town hear about it... it’s kind of like the first thing people want to do when they hear that people are in love is just kind of try to ruin it. I kind of was in a place where I was like, ‘No one is gonna sign up for this. There are just too many cameras pointed at me. There are too many ridiculous elaborations on my life. It’s just not ever gonna work.‘ But I decided to write a love song, just kind of like, ‘What would I say if I met someone really awesome and they were like, hey, I’m worried about all this attention you get?’ So I wrote this song called ‘I Know Places’ about, ‘Hey, I know places we can hide. We could outrun them.’ I’m so happy that it sounds like the urgency that it sings.”

January 23, 2014: Taylor and Ryan Tedder write Welcome To New York. Ryan produces a demo in three hours. This demo is the one included in the album.

“I wanted to start 1989 with this song because New York has been an important landscape and location for the story of my life in the last couple of years. I dreamt and obsessed over moving to New York, and then I did it. The inspiration that I found in that city is hard to describe and to compare to any other force of inspiration I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s an electric city.”

[Ryan Tedder] “I thought we were going to walk in and start something from scratch because that's what I was used to. Then she calls me and says, 'Is it cool if I already have an idea?' I said, 'Sure.' She said, 'I have this song, I'm obsessed with New York and I just moved there, I want to write an ode to New York because no one's done it in a long time.' And then she sent me a voice memo. She's like, 'I want it to sound like the 1980s.' So the next day I brought in a Juno-106, which is a very 1980s keyboard, and I literally programmed that entire song right in front of her. It was very much on the fly, and that song was done in about three hours. And I did the rest of the production I think later that week.”

Handwritten lyrics:

January 26, 2014: Night of the 56th Grammy Awards. Taylor delivers a legendary performance of All Too Well, but loses the Album Of The Year Award to Random Access Memory by Daft Punk. This will prompt Taylor to make a "sonically cohesive" pop album.

[Lover Journal] January 25th. LA. It's the middle of the night and I was at the Clive Davis Party tonight which means... the Grammys are tomorrow. Never have I felt so good about our chances. Never have I wanted something as badly as I want to hear them say 'Red' is the Album of the Year.

“It was the night of the Grammys this year. I remember going home and playing a lot of the new music I had recorded for some of my backup singers and one of my best friends. We were all sitting in the kitchen and I was playing them all this music, and they were just saying, ‘You know, this is very eighties. It’s very clear to us that this is so eighties.’ We were just talking and talking about how it’s kind of a rebirth in a new genre, how that’s a big, bold step. Kind of starting a part of your career over. When they left that night, I just had this very clear moment of, ‘It’s gotta be called 1989.’”

“I woke up one morning at 4 a.m. and I decided the album is called 1989. I’ve been making ‘80s synth pop, I’m just gonna do that. I’m calling it a pop record. I’m not listening to anyone at my label. I’m starting tomorrow. I liked the idea of collaborating. But with 1989 I decided to narrow down the list. It wasn’t going to be 10 producers, it was going to be a very small team of four or five people I always wanted to work with, or loved working with. And Max Martin and I were going to oversee it, and we were going to make a sonically cohesive record again.”

January 2014: Taylor writes You Are In Love. This is actually speculation but it's based on (1) Taylor going to NY in early January and (2) Jack Antonoff confirming that it was the fourth song they did and (3) it's the only Antonoff-produced song that is copyrighted in 2014. Based on the credits, I'm pretty sure that Taylor and Jack worked on the song separately, with Jack recording the instrumental at the Jungle City Studios in NY (which is a studio that Jack used in 2014 to record Bleachers' first album Strange Desire) and Taylor recording the vocals at Conway Studio in LA.

“I wrote it with my friend Jack Antonoff who’s dating my friend Lena. Jack sent me this song, it was just an instrumental track he was working on and immediately I knew the song it needed to be. And I wrote it as a kind of commentary on what their relationship has been like. So it’s actually me looking and going, ‘This happened and that happened, then that happened and that’s how you knew you are in love.’”

“I’ve never had that, so I wrote that song about things that Lena Dunham has told me about her and Jack Antonoff. That’s just basically stuff she’s told me. And I think that that kind of relationship — God, it sounds like it would just be so beautiful — would also be hard. It would also be mundane at times.”

“We first worked on that song together and realized we kind of have a good thing, and the next thing we did was ‘Sweeter Than Fiction,’ which was on the [One Chance] soundtrack, and after that we did ‘Out of the Woods’ and another song called ‘You Are in Love.’

January 26, 2014: At the Grammy's, Diane Warren reveals that she and Taylor wrote a song together (aka Say, Don't Go).

[Transcript] “I worked with Taylor Swift on a great song. I don't even know what she's done [for her next album], I'm excited about the one that we did, it's pretty cool.”

[Billboard 2016 Interview] “I know [Swift] likes it, so hopefully it will see the light of day. I know she really likes the song. She didn’t want me to give it away, so hopefully that means she wants it.”

February 9, 2014: [From the 1989 Booklet] While in London, during the European leg of the Red Tour, Taylor and Imogen Heap write Clean in just 9 hours at Imogen's home studio. Taylor will sing the song just two times.

Voice memo here;

“'Clean' I wrote as I was walking out of Liberty in London. Someone I used to date – it hit me that I’d been in the same city as him for two weeks and I hadn’t thought about it. When it did hit me, it was like, ‘Oh, I hope he’s doing well’. And nothing else. And you know how it is when you’re going through heartbreak. A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful. Good morning.’ You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day, and planning fun dinner parties, and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine. The first thought that came to my mind was – I’m finally clean.”

“'Clean' is the last song on the album for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it felt like the complication of this emotional process I’ve been going through for the last couple of years. You know, I feel like my personal life was really, really discussed, and criticized, and debated, and talked about to a point where it made me feel almost kind of tarnished, in a way. And the discussion wasn’t about music. It broke my heart that I had made an album that I was proud of, and I was touring the world, and playing sold-out stadiums, and still they managed to only want to talk about my personal life. At a certain point I felt a switch and it was at the end of recording this album that I began to feel like my life was mine again and my music was at the forefront again. I was living my life on my own terms and I really no longer cared what people were saying about me. That was when I started so see people talk less about the things that didn’t matter.”

“I had this metaphor in my head about being in this house, there’s been a drought but you feel like there’s a storm coming. Instead of trying to block out the storm you punch a hole in the roof and just let all the rain come in, and when you wake up in the morning, it’s washed away.”

[Imogen Heap] “We met at my studio in London. She had the bare bones of “Clean.” She had the lyric, the chorus and the chords. I thought it was brilliant.I was really writing the tiniest amount just to help her do what she does. I put some noises, played various instruments on it, including drums, and anytime she expressed she liked something I was doing, I did it more. It was a really fun day. She recorded all her vocals during that one session. She did two takes, and the second take was it. We always thought she would probably re-record it, because we thought it can’t possibly be that easy. But after we lived with it for a few months, we felt it was great. I knew she loved it. She said she loved it and her mum loved it. But I wasn’t sure it would be included on the album. But everyone felt it had something special. It came together really magically.”

Imogen's detailed blog entry about this songwriting session.

[Taylor about Imogen Heap] “The coolest thing about Imogen for me was that there was no one else in the studio. There was no assistant; there was no engineer. It was her doing everything.”

February 11, 2014: Taylor gets a haircut. (I'm including this for funsies)

February 15, 2014: Taylor, Max Martin and Shellback write Shake It Off.

Voice memo here;

[Lover Journal] LA. This week I've been in the studio with Max and Johan every day and it has been the most creatively successful and fulfilling time. The first day, Johan just made a really up tempo drum beat because we decided we needed something up and light. We worked at it for a few hours before i just started singing "shake it off, shake it off, shake it off" And then the best way i know how to describe it is that the chorus just fell out of the sky. It ended up being this song about doing your own thing even though haters are gonna hate, and you just have to dance to your own beat. We all went home and I wrote the first and second verses and brought them in the next day. We wrote this chanty cheer leader bridge that I absolutely LOVE. We spent all day doing vocals and the next day recording the background vocals. I think it'll end up being the first single and Max said it's his favorite song he's ever been a part of.

[Max Martin during the lawsuit] “Shellback started out with a drumbeat. Shellback, Taylor, and I then collaboratively developed the melody and other lines of ‘Shake It Off’ to Shellback’s drumbeat. I did not write or provide any input into any lyrics in ‘Shake It Off,’ which were written entirely by Taylor.”

“I've had every part of my life dissected – my choices, my actions, my words, my body, my style, my music. When you live your life under that kind of scrutiny, you can either let it break you, or you can get really good at dodging punches. And when one lands, you know how to deal with it. And I guess the way that I deal with it is to shake it off.”

“The message in the song is a problem I think we all deal with and an issue we deal with on a daily basis. We don’t live just in a celebrity takedown culture, we live in a takedown culture. People will find anything about you and twist it to where it’s weird or wrong or annoying or strange or bad. You have to not only live your life in spite of people who don’t understand you, you have to have more fun than they do.”

February 19, 2014: Taylor, Max Martin, Shellback and Ali Payami write Style. This is the last song made for the album.

“I loved comparing these timeless visuals with a feeling that never goes out of style. It's basically one of those relationships that's always a bit off. The two people are trying to forget each other. So, it's like, 'All right, I heard you went off with her, and well, I've done that, too.' My previous albums have also been sort of like, 'I was right, you were wrong, you did this, it made me feel like this' – a righteous sense of right and wrong in a relationship. What happens when you grow up is you realize the rules in a relationship are very blurred and that it gets very complicated very quickly, and there's not a case of who was right or who was wrong.”

“This song is about those relationships that are never really done. You always kind of have that person, that one person who you feel might interrupt your wedding and be like, ‘Don’t do it cause we’re not over yet.'”

[Guitarist Niklas Ljungfelt] “I played on “Style,” a song I started with Ali Payami for ourselves. He was playing it for Max Martin at his studio; Taylor overheard it and loved it. She and Max wrote new lyrics. But I recorded the guitar on it before it was a Taylor song. It was an instrumental. I didn’t have a clue that Taylor would sing on it. The inspiration came from Daft Punk and funky electronic music.”

1989 is officially done!

[Taylor On Ryan Seacrest] “I'm pretty sure after we finished this one I knew the record was done. Shake It Off and Style were the last two songs to be written for 1989.”

February 19, 2014: While on tour, Ryan Tedder produces another three versions of Welcome To New York.

[Ryan Tedder interview] “I was in Switzerland on a tour bus, and I did four versions of 'Welcome to New York,' one of which I liked personally more, but the thing about artists is they become very obsessed with the demo. She was in love with the demo so no matter how hard I fought, she brought it back to the demo, so really what you hear is what I did on the first day.”

March 22, 2014: Billboard reports that Taylor and Ryan Tedder have worked together in LA in January

March 24, 2014: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor moves to New York.

[Lover Journal] So in the last few weeks, I've completely moved into my apartment in Tribeca. That's right, I'm writing this from my new bed in my new place, watching Law and Order with Meredith. Strangely, I've never felt more busy.

May 1, 2014: 1989 Photoshoot (I got this date from an insider)

May 29, 2014: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor chooses another photo for the cover, after having a nightmare of the previous one being not enough.

May 30, 2014: Taylor chooses the album cover.

[Lover Journal] Shanghai. So we got to China at around 2pm and I knew it would completely ruin me if I slept when i got to the hotel, so I decided to work out. WHY IS THIS PEN RUNNING OUT?! Just went to my purse and got my pen. So a crazy story unfolded in the last 24 hours. Last night, I had this vivid dream where the photo I'd chosen for the album cover wasn't good enough, intriguing enough, artful enough. it woke me up. I couldn't shake it and it stayed with me all day. Because that nagging feeling I'd been pushing back for weeks was now confirmed in my gut... it wasn't good enough. I went to the venue, mind racing, wandering if I'd have to do an entirely new photo shoot... I got to my dressing room with newer versions of the "cover" I looked at it and felt nothing. The team pulled up this new scanned file of the polaroids we had taken during the shoot. I saw it within 10 seconds. The shot. The cover. It's a polaroid of me sitting against a beige wall with a blue seagull sweatshirt on. You can see my red lips but the photo cuts off my eyes. For some reason unknown to me it's the most intriguing photo i've seen. I think it's the mystery of not seeing my eyes. Maybe it just looks effortlessly cool. The craziest moment came when something caught my eye. The cover photo is photo 13. I kid you not. I played a sold out show in Shanghai tonight and the crowd was amazing. Tomorrow we go to Tokyo, where they'll have the whole ticker tape parade at the airport. Smile and wave...

Mid To Late 2014: Taylor and Jack write Now That We Don't Talk.

[Tumblr Music] "Now That We Don't Talk is one of my favorite songs that was left behind. It was so hard to leave it behind, but I think we wrote it a little bit towards the end of the process, and we couldn't get the production right at the time. But we had tons of time to perfect the production this time, and figure out what we wanted the song to sound like, and I just think it's, I think it's the shortest song I've ever had. I think it packs a punch. I think it really goes in for the short amount of time we have, I think it makes its point."

Conclusive notes

What 1989 represented for Taylor:

“The 1980s was a very experimental time in pop music. People realized songs didn't have to be this standard drums-guitar-bass-whatever. We can make a song with synths and a drum pad. We can do group vocals for the entire song. We can do so many different things. And I think what you saw happening with music was also happening in our culture, where people were just wearing whatever crazy colors they wanted to, because why not? There just seemed to be this energy about endless opportunities, endless possibilities, endless ways you could live your life. And so with this record, I thought, 'There are no rules to this. I don't need to use the same musicians I've used, or the same band, or the same producers, or the same formula. I can make whatever record I want.'”

“In the past, I've written mostly about heartbreak or pain that was caused by someone else and felt by me. On this album, I'm writing about more complex relationships, where the blame is kind of split 50–50 ... even if you find the right situation relationship-wise, it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work.”

Bonus: Secret Messages

Author's note: I wrote this timeline around 2 years ago. While I found some dates later on, this is 100% my research. If you use this timeline for your posts, research or whatever, PLEASE, credit me! I'd be very thankful. This is 2 years of work.

Links to my other Timelines:

Writing of Fearless Timeline

Writing of Speak Now Timeline

Writing of Red Timeline

My Spreadsheet with a timeline overview

Credits:

Most of the quotes have been copy-pasted from Taylor Swift Switzerland.

Taylor Swift Pictures for the candids.

Heather from Nerdy by Nature for the WTNY handwritten lyrics picture.

#taylor swift #1989 #1989 taylor's version #1989 era #red era #taylor swift timelines #1989 tv #blank space #shake it off #harry styles #out of the woods #wildest dreams #style #imogen heap #1989 tour #taylor swift unreleased songs #vault songs #1989 vault

191 notes · View notes

jewish-vents · 2 months

Note

I've been a huge fan of Jessie Gender and their videos for a long time, she is an incredibly kind and thoughtful person, always trying to see everything from both perspectives to gain a deeper understanding

But being a leftist it was inevitable that she'd make some kind of video on the topic of I/P

Which is exactly what I saw in my feed today

It's hard to describe the anxiety I felt reading the title and seeing fucking Bibi in the thumbnail

I gathered my courage and clicked on the video, albeit skipping right to the "conclusion" section

Now granted I didn't watch the whole video and I'm sure Jessie has presented a lot of good points and has done their research but... what I heard in the conclusion section was honestly enough for me to not want to watch the rest of the video no matter how well done it is (similar to Dead Domain talking about the subject)

Of course OF FUCKING COURSE despise the framing of the video as a starting point of a discussion on antisemitism on the left and a rejection of binary thinking and how "anti" movements don't inherently facilitate actually building something instead of just destroying (which is so true) we still ended up with: "I fear this video will be taken as me saying that antisemitism is a large scale problem deep in the core of leftist ideology and buying into the horseshoe theory"

News flash it is, antisemitism is deeply ingrained into culture as a whole everywhere so of course there'd be a huge antisemitism problem on the left (because there is) and specific types of antisemitism endemic to the left *cough* soviet propaganda *cough*, not to mention that most leftists simply never bother to deal with antisemitism that has been ingrained in them by virtue of living in a society

Which is especially apparent now when I a lot of the time genuinely can't tell the difference between a leftist and a neonazi when it comes to jews which is really fucking scary you know?

Don't remember who said it but "antisemitism is the hammer forging the horseshoe theory"

I'm just so tired of this

Oh and we couldn't go five minutes of a conclusion without stating "genocide", of course of course...

I feel like I'm going insane

I should've expected this, after seeing this happen so many times I should be more prepared but I'm not

Maybe I'm overreacting and the rest of the video is fantastic (which I hope is the case) but I just can't think of any reason why torturing myself trying to watch it is a good idea

Not when we just had our own January 6th it seems

(fuck the officials endorsing storming a military base and military court IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU)

#jewish vents #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

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birdiewriteslit · 6 months

Text

wildest dreams

luke hughes x abigail abernathy

masterlist

okay ik i haven’t updated this in a literal month so im finally feeding you my apologies for the wait

“Get up.” Jack said, grabbing the pillow from underneath Luke’s head and throwing it across the room.

Luke groaned, planting his face into the mattress. “What do you want?” he asked curtly, voice muffled by the sheets.

“It’s 1pm, we have practice in an hour, you’re a mess, I’m mad at you,” Jack listed, yanking the comforter off of his body.

Luke shivered and rolled over, shielding his eyes from the sun streaming in through the window. “What have you got to be mad about?”

“I haven’t heard from Abigail since she left, which, by the way, I know was your fault. Plus, you’ve been moody ever since she did, even though you’ve got no right to be.” Jack paused, taking a breath. “And I know what happened on New Year’s.”

Luke sat up on the bed, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. “Then you know I’ve got some right. She’s the one who doesn’t.”

Jack rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Fine, be an idiot. See if I care. Don’t take it out on Abigail when all she did was like you. You’re probably not used to girls liking you though.”

“She doesn’t like me, she’s fucking Rudy,” Luke mumbled.

“You really are an idiot. Seriously, get out of bed or I’m leaving without you.”

Jack left the room and Luke let his head fall into his hands. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table, staring at Abigail’s smiling face on his lockscreen, and feeling worse about the whole thing.

He listened to the voicemail, and he felt sick to his stomach. He knew he shouldn’t have yelled at her, but seeing her with Rudy set something off in his mind.

Granted, he had a jealousy problem since they were kids and Abigail would come to Toronto talking about all of her Boston friends, but things were a lot different now.

When Abigail got a job on Shameless, Luke couldn’t be prouder, and when it came out, she was so excited to watch it with him.

It was just her and him that night at the lake, the others having gone to bed. “I can’t watch this with my parents,” Abby had said, clinging to Luke’s arm in excitement.

He figured that meant she was topless in a scene. He’d seen Shameless before, and he couldn’t lie about being a little excited about her debut. He was 17, after all.

What he wasn’t expecting, however, was a full on sex scene between her and a costar, who still comments on her Instagram posts.

That was the moment he realized that things were changing in Abigail’s world. He thought about how other guys would be looking at her, thinking about her.

Then Outer Banks came around, and she started dating Rudy. He had to act like he liked the guy, but in reality he hated the way it made him feel seeing Abigail with another guy.

For a whole year he had to watch her with him. She even brought him to the lake once, and then after that trip, he broke up with her over Luke.

So, naturally, he didn’t like it when he saw Abigail was hanging around a guy like that again.

He replayed the voicemail. “Fuck,” he said out loud. “I fucked up.”

abyabynathy

tagged jamie.drysdale, philadelphiaflyers

Liked by jamie.drysdale, _quinnhughes and 1,967,346 others

abyabynathy baby’s first flyers game

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trevorzegras the plot thickens

jamie.drysdale omg that’s me

abyabynathy @/jamie.drysdale sniped

cam.york we have fun

abyabynathy @/cam.york so much fun

philadelphiaflyers Have we converted you to a flyers fan??

abyabynathy @/philadelphiaflyers you gotta win first

jackhughes @/abyabynathy SHOTS FIRED

nhlbruins @/philadelphiaflyers Back off.

_quinnhughes why are you everywhere besides vancouver

abyabynathy @/_quinnhughes some day i might make it there

jackhughes this is interesting

trevorzegras @/jackhughes VERY interesting

abyabynathy @/trevorzegras stop conspiring

user1 what is going on

January 8, 2024

messages 10:36 pm

jack: if you’re trying to make luke mad it’s working

jack: but i can tell he feels guilty for whatever he did

jack: it’s actually a weird combination and i don’t like it

jack: pls fix it

abigail: i tried to fix it but he’s an ass idk what to tell you

abigail: i’m not trying to make him mad but it’s not my fault he freaks out when i breath near anyone else

jack: why the fart are you in philly then

abigail: bc i wanted to see my friend jamie

jack: and you had to do this in the midst of this drama

jack: you and luke need to figure this shit out cuz i’m tired of you hurting each other

jack: shit pisses me off

abigail: okay i admit i knew it would make him mad but he fucking screamed at me and hasn’t spoken to me since his tantrum

jack: he will he just needs time to cool down

read 10:43 pm

—

taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle

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lavendertales · 2 years

Text

Guilty pleasures: Chapter 1

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: introduced to the new watch group he has to lead, Joel finds himself bickering with one of the recruits in particular. but not so much when their lives are in imminent danger.

word count: 3.5k

SERIES WARNINGS: age gap (reader is in their 30s, Joel in his 50s); enemies to lovers, sexual activities, mutual pining & tension, violence, PTSD, weapons & injuries.

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

gif: @katronautt

series masterlist | AO3

JANUARY

The cold has long settled in your bones, chilling your entire body. No matter the layers of clothing on you, the long road had still taken its toll on you. You could barely keep your eyes open with the snow drizzling down.

Maybe you should’ve picked a warmer place to settle. California sounded like a dream, especially in these conditions. You missed California. But no, of course you agreed to go through a blizzard just because Maria was grateful to you that you saved her and her husband’s lives. And it was by accident entirely, but that’s only for you to know.

“There we are,” a male voice announced. “Home, sweet home.”

Fucking finally, you thought.

All you could think about was a hot soup and a soft mattress underneath you.

Sure you were grateful to Maria and her husband Tommy that they asked you to come along with them in Jacksonville, but you were still a little reluctant settling down somewhere. You haven’t sat in one place since many years, and the subdued memories of that time make you think this isn’t such a good idea.

But you want to give it a shot. You’ve known Maria for a while; somehow, from the time you threatened to shoot her to the time she allowed you and others to smuggle some pills and food out of the city, she became the one constant in your life. Every now and then, the two of you would meet, help each other out and then be on your separate ways. Except now, you were part of Jackson’s community, and you wanted to give it a fair shot.

You dismounted from the horse, backpack frozen on your back. You rubbed your hands together, looking around at the houses and the lights that surrounded them, and a faint smile stretched from the corners of your lips. It looked oddly homey. A place you could see yourself living out the rest of your days.

“Not bad, huh?” Tommy asked proudly next to you.

You made a face, still gazing around. “Not bad, I’ll give you that.”

“Come on, I’ll show you where you’ll stay,” Maria tapped you on the shoulder. “The rest, follow Tommy.”

You followed Maria to a little house, not too far into the city center, along its main street. You entered rather hesitantly after her, quickly inspecting the place. It had everything you could possibly want: a kitchen, living room, and bedroom. It was more than what you’ve had in a long time. But most importantly, you noticed a fireplace; that had you hastily removing your backpack and shotgun and going over to start a fire.

Maria chuckled. “Not a fan of the cold, huh?”

You rubbed your hands together, waiting for the wood to spark the highly anticipated sparks of fire. “I was born on the coast,” you said. “So no, not really into freezing limbs.”

“Get some rest, alright? Tomorrow we’re gonna get organized in groups and assign jobs for each. Any preference?”

“I got a shotgun. Take a wild guess.”

Maria chuckled again. “Alright, so either hunting or watch.”

“Either way, I’m shooting things.”

“You sure you don’t want the pistol?”

You took another look at the little revolver in Maria’s hand and gulped. You could feel the color draining from your cheeks. You wrapped your hand tighter around your shotgun, staring blankly at Maria.

“I’m good, thanks,” you replied after a while. “I prefer big guns.”

“Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight.”

TWO WEEKS LATER

His knees hurt. Fuck, he should’ve known better than to climb up that steep hill in such a hurry. Not like they were being followed by any infected. But there he’d been, trying to prove something to himself still—and to Ellie too, he supposes.

But Joel Miller isn’t exactly a young man anymore. His heart might still be that of a twenty year old, but the aches throughout his body say otherwise regarding his physical health. His age is showing in moments like these, and as much as he hates it, he accepts it nonetheless.

Whenever he looks in the mirror, he still sees himself as a father-to-be. He recognizes the man behind the tired figure he faces every day, but that young man has died two decades ago. He is long gone, replaced by the hardened flesh of a ruthless survivor.

No time for wallowing in self-pity today though; he had promised Tommy he would lead the watch group, so he’ll do what he always does: shoves down his pain, deep, deep down, and moves along with the world.

January’s cold weather is unforgiving, even under the thick coat he’s wearing. Joel goes out front in the street, surprised to see that the little group Tommy and Maria put together to keep Jackson safe is already there. He walks towards them, quickly inspecting them. Three men, two of which are built pretty solid, and two women. One of them holds a shotgun, clinging onto it like it’s some sort of life vest, and Joel could almost chuckle for whatever reason.

“Mornin’,” he salutes them.

He receives some mutters and replies, with the exception of the woman with the shotgun. His eyes instinctively go to her figure, and when their eyes meet, a cold shiver runs down his spine. One that has nothing to do with the freezing weather.

“Let’s get moving,” Joel tells the group.

“I see you’ve meet the troupes.”

Tommy’s voice comes up from Joel’s right, patting his brother on the shoulder as a greeting.

“What do you think?” Tommy asks.

“Not bad. It’ll do.”

“What are we, spring chicken?”

The voice belongs to you. Your eyes meet Joel’s again, and yours narrow, alongside your furrowed brows. There is no warmth in the glare you receive, and there is none in the one you return.

“Those would probably be more useful,” Joel retorts.

You point the shotgun at Joel, with everyone else on high alert. Tommy positions himself between the two of you, hands raised in defense.

“Let’s keep it friendly, okay?” he tells you both. “We’re on the same side here.”

“I’m not the one pointing a gun,” Joel says sourly.

You lower the shotgun, still staring at him. You see a man who’s clearly been through a lot, hardened not only by the cruel outbreak, but by other things as well. You don’t bother asking or caring, honestly. You’ve got your own shit to deal with, and you have no interest in appealing to anyone.

“Great manners you’ve got,” Joel addresses you directly.

“So what, you’re the oldest living gentleman?”

Tommy chuckles nervously. “I see you’ve hit it off with my big brother.”

Your jaw drops slightly as you stare incredulously at Tommy, who introduces Joel to you, and you to Joel. The two of you share another glare, filled with nothing but distrust and hesitance. Joel moves closer to Tommy, muttering, “I thought this group’s for watching, not making unnecessary threats to strangers.”

“Trust me, Joel, if you run into anything on that watch, you’re gonna be glad you got her there.”

Something about the way Tommy makes that statement, with a little pride and glimmer in his eyes, it raises Joel’s curiosity. But he shoves that down as well, and resumes his position.

“Alright, let’s get movin’, now,” he tells the group.

You move to the front of the line that gets formed; that way, you get a better view at this Joel Miller.

Time turned half of his hair gray, adding a sort of dignified aura around him. He’s got broad shoulders, the bony structure visible even with the heavy coat he’s got on. Though his face is undoubtedly tainted by hardship and his eyes seemed to spew iciness during the previous contact, they were somehow still warm. As if there was still something for him to hold on to.

“You point that gun at me again, we’re gonna have an issue,” he warns out of the blue.

You chuckle, holding onto the shotgun’s strap. “You haven’t had anything poking in your back in a long time, have you, big guy?”

Joel turns to you, a dangerous frown creasing his forehead. “Could say the same about you with that goddamn attitude.”

You hide the smirk that resides on your face, moving along with the rest of the group.

“That’s your opinion,” you retort cheekily.

Joel’s mind starts to race, but he swiftly shuts it all off. He doesn’t need another aggravation.

“I can see why you got this promotion,” you comment. “Head of the watch party, Tommy’s big bro—“

“What, you’re jealous or something?”

“Please. If Tommy were real smart, he’d see that I got more stamina in me, but I can appreciate him sticking with family.”

While the others keep climbing up the hill, Joel stops dead in his tracks and stares you down.

“You have no idea about the things I can do,” he seems to threaten, only it comes out more guttural, almost alluring.

You don’t reply. You simply refrain from smiling, figuring the gesture would set him off further, and you need to keep moving before you freeze to death.

Two weeks you’ve been in Jackson, and you feel like you’ve lived there for years. While there was a certain familiarity and coziness to the small town and its people, there’s also a feeling of repetitiveness. Like a poorly prepared routine. You didn’t really mind it because you weren’t there to make friends. You were there because Maria was grateful. That was pretty much it. You weren’t really interested in friendships, anyway.

And certainly not with someone like Joel Miller.

Though you wouldn’t mind having a thing or two going on the side. He’s really not bad on the eyes, but you’d never say that to him or to anyone, much less to Tommy. You get the sense that for the Miller brothers, loyalty came first. You could appreciate that, but you wouldn’t want to get in the middle of anything.

“How much further?” one of the men, Marcus, asked.

“Are we up the hill?” Joel asks.

“No…?”

“Then we still got road to cover.”

Joel rolls his eyes and pushes past the slight knee pain. He takes a mental note to get some of those pain killers and whiskey later. He has the feelings he’s gonna want to be knocked out tonight. Knowing that he has to lead this group, though, it gives him a certain sense of pride and accomplishment, and, like with everything else in his life, if he’s gonna do this, he’s gonna do this right.

The icy road and harsh air breathing onto his face keep him awake and alert. His eyes roam around endlessly, his ears open and attentive for the slightest noise. All he sees before him is white and blue, the occasional gray reminding him of his own graying features. His joints ache, his body temperature drops, but his heart beats faster. In those twenty years, he’s seen enough to know reach a point where infected no longer scare him. He’s seen all the stages of the virus, all the creatures that were once human, and he’s done it all.

What does scare Joel, though, are people. People are by far the scariest creatures in nature. At least with the infected, you know what you’re in for. Animals, same thing. People, however, have a conscience, and never knowing what truly lies there is the most frightening prospect.

So anyone who knows Joel Miller in the slightest knows he’s reluctant when it comes to people. The only ones he trusts are Ellie, Tommy and Maria. The list does not go on. These people behind him—whose names he couldn’t be bothered to remember—are cargo. An obligation, but, should it come to it, a nuisance. Five people behind him, meant to follow him, and Joel feels as lonely as ever.

Which he prefers, of course.

There’s sudden rustling in some bushes nearby. Almost in sync, all six of you put up your weapons, ready to defend yourselves. The previous guy, Marcus, seems the most nervous as his arm betrays a slight shake; Joel ignores it, eyes locked on the frozen leaves. Seconds later, a rabbit emerges carefree. You all put your guns away.

“I thought it was—“Marcus starts.

Joel huffs. “Congratulations, you caught a rabbit.”

“We all had our weapons ready,” you intervene. “Better a rabbit than a fuckin’ walker.”

Joel throws another glance at you, half unimpressed and half curious. Tommy’s words about you echo in his mind, though he fails to assign any particular meaning to them. Trust me, Joel, if you run into anything on that watch, you’re gonna be glad you got her there. He didn’t ask for clarity, though in hindsight, he probably should have. What were you, some sort of karate expert? An incredible warrior? Not likely. And not because of a sexist issue, but because he doubted your harsh attitude and presumed anger against the world would pair perfectly with great hunting skills.

He knows that firsthand.

A couple of miles further, there’s more rustling. Marcus seems too disappointed in himself to prepare his gun this time, but Joel puts up his, and so do you.

“Is that—?” the other woman starts, but you swiftly turn around and press your index to your lips to shush her.

You stare at the ground, noticing some footprints. Dragged footprints. Shotgun at the ready, you look around, remaining right behind Joel. When no other sound but rustling is heard, you exchange a look with him, both of you concerned. You both know it’s not raiders; if it were, they would’ve attacked already.

And then you hear it.

The sound any of you dreads to hear.

Clickers.

You don’t see the first one till it’s too late. It quite literally jumps in front of you, convulsing around aimlessly. While everyone’s eyes widen, you hold your breath and simply look at the poor creature walking around. You know that if you shoot now, you might trigger a swarm of clickers and you’d all be outnumbered and doomed. So you remain still, breath still in, right under Joel’s and the group’s shocked eyes.

You feel the snow beneath your feet, and you gulp with nervousness. One wrong move and the clicker would hear the snow crumpling under your boots. You beg your body to remain frozen in the same spot, dead silent, and you watch as the creatures wanders off.

The second clicker, now that one you do see.

Joel doesn’t; so you react on an impulse. You come up from behind him, one hand over his arm, the other one covering his mouth. You both stare in dismay at the clicker convulsing right by you, then right by the group, followed by another, and another one, and before you know it, there are seven of them. Joel remains locked under your harsh touch, thus allowing you to keep him safe. It’s an act of trust that takes you both by surprise, but the moment calls for it. There is no other way.

After who knows how many seconds or minutes, you slowly let go of Joel, and he looks down on you, murmuring an inaudible thank you. You nod once, your breaths gone as you hear someone tripping, and the subsequent roar of the clickers.

It happens too fast: you and Joel both pull out the guns and start shooting the clickers alongside the rest of the group. Marcus is face to face with one of the creatures, pinned down to the cold ground, and you reach into the holster strap on your thigh to throw a knife at it. Hurt, the creature lets out a loud shriek, but in return you put several bullets into its distorted head.

“Move, move!” you hear Joel shout.

You make eye contact with Marcus, seeing the horrified expression on his face and the blood on his clothes. You gun down another clicker that was running manically in your direction, help take out the others with the group, able to breathe afterwards.

The white snow remains now tainted by blood and corpses, those of the clickers. You all check each other, pleased to see that you’re all safe. But then you lock eyes with Marcus again, and you kneel before him, inspecting his body.

“You hurt?” Joel asks him.

He nods frantically, pointing to his leg. You see the bite mark that goes well past the jeans’ fabric, and you shudder. Fuck. You glance around, finding your knife in one of the clickers’ heads, retrieving it and wiping the blood off on your jacket. You think at the very least, you can make Marcus go without that much pain.

But Joel is faster than you.

A gunshot is heard, and you flinch when it dawns on you that Marcus was just shot in the head, right in front of you.

You stand up, looking at Joel in utter shock and anger. “What the fuck?!” you exclaim.

Joel is too busy putting his gun away to respond to you. The other woman, Annie, responds to you in a fairly small voice, “It’s the policy.”

You turn to her, frowning. “I’m aware of that. But it doesn’t say anywhere that we can’t make this easier for those who die.”

Joel scoffs, and the sound angers you so much you put the blade to his throat, earning a few gasps from the group.

“Put that down,” he warns, tone dry and bored.

“He should’ve died easier,” you mutter through gritted teeth.

Joel looks at you, almost through you. “There’s no easy way to die in a fuckin’ outbreak.”

You remove the blade from his throat. It’s the second time in just a few short hours that you’ve threatened Joel Miller. The day wasn’t even half done yet, and you were already drained and angry.

“What, we were supposed to let him go?” Joel asks you.

“No. I know the fucking policy. I just—“

You exhale, shaking your head, acknowledging the fact that you are probably fighting a losing battle against morals. Of which you have too little, matter of fact.

“Never shot someone to spare them?”

Joel’s question punches a hole through your stomach. You gulp, staring at Marcus’ now lifeless body. The image quickly distorts, the body turning into that of another one, smaller and bloodier. Your hand shakes, your limbs go cold, and it takes you a bit before returning to reality.

“Path is clear,” you announce the obvious. “I guess we’re done for today.”

This time you take the lead ahead, and Joel and the rest follow you in complete silence. You only walk in front of them so they don’t see the distressed look on your face, not because of some newly found sense of leadership. You couldn’t care less about that.

When you reach back to Jackson, roughly one hour later, you run into Tommy and some teenage girl. Tommy’ face drops, looking at you, Joel, Annie and the rest.

“Infected?” he asks his brother.

Joel nods. “Clickers. Took them out.”

“Where’s Marcus?”

“On the bright side, path up the hill should be clear now,” you tell him. “On the downside, Marcus won’t be joining us for dinner in the future. If he does, that ain’t Marcus and we should probably kill him for good.”

You walk right past him and everyone. Ellie stares at your silhouette growing smaller in the distance, then turns to Tommy and Joel. “Who’s that?”

Tommy introduces your name to Ellie. Joel side eyes them, his mind playing your name on a loop. It’s a sound word, something worth remembering.

“Hate to admit, but you were right about her,” Joel tells Tommy, who smiles in delight.

“What did I tell you, huh? What happened?”

“When clickers were there, she was the first one to hear ‘em. None of us did till she did. She saved me from one of ‘em. Then she held a knife to my throat, but I reckon that’s a well-balanced treatment.”

“Whoa, that’s pretty badass if you ask me,” Ellie comments in awe.

“Good thing I didn’t ask you, isn’t it?” Joel replies.

Ellie sticks out her tongue at him and makes a face that merely amuses Joel. He finds himself staring into the distance as well, remembering the indignation on your face as he shot Marcus, the glimmer of hope in your eyes thinking there might’ve been an easier way to end his doomed life.

Deep down, he learns to appreciate that. Joel himself hasn’t had hope in quite some time, not since he saved Ellie from the fucking Fireflies.

Much as he might despise your attitude, maybe you and Joel aren’t that different after all.

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