Today I’m yet again feeling robbed that we didn’t get to hear John wail out Call Me Back Again. The angst. The idea of Paul making John sing out his own desires. Robbed.
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"theres a lot of fucking involved"
OF COURSE THERE IS, IT'S MY TUMBLR.
HOW ABOUT YOU GO SLEEP WITH THE FUCKING DESERT? HUH??
GO FUCK THE MOJAVE DESERT
RAAHHH
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tw - abuse, betrayal, drug use, etc.
almost every single person in my life has either
1) knowingly gone out of their way to be around my s*xual assailant after i publicly outed her, defended their decision and their right to do so, made other people fight me for them, lied to me and to the people they sent to fight me about what they did, downplayed the abuse itself, put unsuspecting people in harms way, guilttripped me into feeling bad for my assailant, guilttripped me into feeling bad for them because i was upset about what they did, put me in situations where i had to compromise my safety for their comfort, made me feel crazy for feeling upset about the abuse i endured, had my other friends pick their side, claim that they're feminists and support victims despite going out of their way to be around someone they know is extremely abusive, etc.
or
2) knowingly defended the people that are friends with my abuser and the choices they've made, fought me on behalf of their friends that are close to my abuser, guilttripped me into feeling bad for them because they were lonely, guilttripped me into feeling bad for their friends and stuck by them knowing what they did, withheld very important information about my abuser, scolded me for being upset with them & their friend(s), forced me to be around their friends that are close to my abuser, forced me into situations where i had to compromise my well-being for the sake of everyone else having a fun time together, downplayed my abuse, made me feel crazy, told me i deserved to lose all of my friends, weaponized their parent's diagnosis to make me stop fighting with them because they knew i'd feel too bad to keep going, etc.
regardless of where they lie, the people in my life built a community for my abuser. i will never be able to move past that.
that's all my abuser ever wanted, to have the support they assumed i already had, but unfortunately, did not.
weed, nicotine, coke, whippets, shrooms, dmt, lsd, alcohol, rides in their van, company, whatever - none of that is worth retraumatizing your "friend" repeatedly.
all i ever asked was for my "friends" to not be around tony and to not bring her up when i'm around.
all they've ever wanted to do is be around her and her friends and remain willfully ignorant simply because it benefits them.
4-10 years of friendship each, down the drain.
fuck you tony, for ruining my life & (successfully) dismantling my support system.
fuck you elliot, taylor, sydni, ryan, and many, many more, for betraying my trust.
i don't feel safe around a single person in my life, even my best friend.
because she's in group number two.
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