#why do the autistic coded characters always die

[fennecswife]

Cassian may have been the spark to light the rebellion but Nemik was the flint to create the spark

[martyrbat]

yknow im gonna be honest right here and admit that jason todd being poor is something i hold very personal to me because i am and being able to connect with this little fictional character and recognize myself is something very dear to my autistic heart and how i analyze his character. so please excuse how messy this is as i try to spontaneously place my thoughts in something legible

[ID: a closeup of Jason Todd as Robin. He's asking Batman, "What's that world ever do for me?" END ID]

But this whole flashback in particular still makes me so frustrated. When you're poor, you establish and build communities. You have to or you die. You rely on people's kindness and love - even if you're a stranger. It's how you survive. I had old friends ask me if im embarrassed or say they'd be too ashamed to take that help or do what I had to do to scrape by.

But so many don't understand that pride is a luxury many can't afford. I'm not ashamed. I'm angry you'd rather have me dead than confront the classism you benefit from and are comfortable upholding.

Poor people are the first to tell you that the world and society aren't going to save you and that you're abandoned by it - that they'll leave you to die and not care until it breaks their bubble of privilege and exploitation. (Homelessness, landlords, shoplifting food. Being visibly poor or effecting THEIR lives - it's never about yours). But the people in it, the 'little people', are the reason you ever survive. You're at the rawest point of humanity and while yes, you experience and deal with the cruelty and dirtiest parts of it - you see and experience the genuine kindness from everyday people. People that are equally struggling are more likely to help you than people that can comfortably do so without the fear of going without.

[ID: Batman and Robin sitting together on a ledge. Batman is telling Robin, "You need to love it...Or what's the point?" END ID]

Now take this kid. He gone without. He doesn't get to have a billionaire privilege of that filtered view. He knows people aren't good vs evil, that they're not black or white. Good people do shitty things to survive. Evil people walk free. He's familiar and knows struggles and reality - he knows drug addiction and overdose and murder and suicides and malnourishment. He knows police brutality and the system is designed against people like him up until just recently - where he suddenly meets the criteria to be protected instead of targeted. He doesn't look over the streets, waiting to swoop in. He's lived in them. He knows them.

For me and my experience as a disabled, poor, autistic with hyper empathy? All you want to do is help others. You don't have a life unless you're being productive. You want to give back the kindness you were gifted with, you know that struggle and pain and don't want anyone to go through it. You know no one is looking out for you other than your community. The world can be so fucking cruel so that's why I can't be - I have to be the good I want to see in it.

Then take this kid that has the opportunity to do more than what he ever dreamed of? He can finally live instead of just survive. He can be the hero to the people that usually don't get that luxury of care. He can protect his community and build bigger ones. He can help people. As @autisticredhood said so brilliantly in this post: "he doesn’t care what the world will do for him he cares about what HE will do for the world"

Stripping that away from him changes everything Jason is. As a child and him being unfairly written off as the angsty Robin but aldo as an adult since it's such a key element to what his moral code is and how he operates as a hero. Jason Todd will always care. He loves so much and it's constantly dismissed and I hate it.

[soloorganaas]

hi there! i just found your blog and i have to say: sirius being bipolar totally makes sense, i'm entirely fascinated by your thoughts and words, needless to say i agree with you and i'll keep reading what you write! by the way, do you have mental illness headcanons for other characters? thank you for reading and have a nice day 💕

thank you so much 😭❤️

and yes I definitely do!

remus

anxiety/depression. he goes through a period of debilitating pain once a month, so he lives knowing it’s always just around the corner and he’s never going to be able to escape it. and then he also has the shame and stigma and very real danger of being a feared minority. growing up and living with that kind of trauma changes your dna and is also why so many people in systemically oppressed groups have chronic mental problems

I also sometimes hc him as autistic. he masks to the extent of creating a whole new persona (think of now dif he is to his students in PoA vs his interactions with sirius esp in OotP). he’s very routine and repetitive (same clothes, carries the same suitcase everywhere, exact same style of lesson each week). his speech swaps between short sometimes random qs/statements to long expositions

james

ADHD for sure. hyperfixation on only things that interest him to the point of feats of genius eg pranks, the map, becoming an animagus. fidgety and restless (throwing the snitch around, playing with his hair). has absolutely zero restraint - literally jumps up to terrorise snape simply bc he and sirius are bored, cannot stop himself from trying to get lily’s attention even though he’s clearly pissing her off

hermione

an autistic queen. intensely hyper-focused on her special interests, to the point of it being a detriment to her own health and relationships. at the same time she will devote herself 100% to helping her friends in a v hyperfocused way (eg helping hagrid with buckbeak’s trial, planning and packing for the horcrux hunt). does not get sarcasm. blunt and doesn’t understand why people get offended (eg telling lavender why trelawney wasn’t correct in predicting her rabbit would die when lavender is literally hysterical with grief). trouble regulating emotions (the amount of times she has a blow up with her friend and storms off, or just randomly snaps at people or has an outburst). very attached to her routines and strict in discipline (colour-coded timetables). also has v varying speech patterns that throw other people off

honestly tbh from her huge ups and downs which always involve some period of intense high and then some dramatic crash you could possibly characterise her as bipolar too. but I gotta think more about that

side note but I think this is why ginny and her become such good friends (and also ginny and luna) - bc ginny is open and accepting enough to not be bothered by how they’re both a bit ‘off’ and socially awkward, and she’s also used to incredibly high-energy family members with intense special interests (literally her entire family except maybe ron and molly). and hermione for her part sees past the mask ginny puts on to deal with her brothers/being in their shadow and allows her to be herself

harry

chronic and compound ptsd 💔 the way he fully thinks he’s going mad in OotP and truly doesn’t trust his own mind, but is also hyper-independent to the point of trying to find horcruxes by himself. extra heartbreaking bc sirius is the only one who ever understands this side of him and can truly do anything about it

ron

literal cripplingly anxiety and I think he’s straight up depressed for most of school. but this is all driven by his family so I like to think after hogwarts he gets to be much more independent from them and have his own happy life and also hopefully go to therapy to talk through some intense mummy issues

neville

some mix of adhd/autism. chronic forgetfulness and clumsiness are core parts of adhd and are made worse by punishment from others (snape, his grandmother). special interest and talent for herbology. he’s often blunt with odd speech patterns and just a bit ‘off’ to other people

luna

also an autistic queen 💖 different speech patterns, doesn’t understand sarcasm or social cues, blunt, intense special interests. and I think she also suffers from depression or ptsd from losing her mum and harry relates to her on a v core level bc of this (they are my otp forever)

[lesenbyan]

12, 24, 45 for Eve, Aki, and Cyn (all three girls for all three questions, to the best of your ability)

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

the cheating answer for all of 'em is the first time they get a whole cuddle pile after they get aki back. nap pile of girls.

Otherwise I'd say...Cyn's the type to get calm right before a battle, deep breath in, let it out slow, everything relaxes so probably before a big battle. I don't think she has any like, routines or rituals before fights (and she's def not the meditating sort.) So top contenders are end of SB, Seat of Sacrifice, and Her Turn in Ultima Thule.

Aki's Happy Calm Space since being taken by garlemald is while doing needlework. Arguably this is a dissociation tactic and disqualified therein but irrelevant bc everything in garlemald is a dissociation tactic.

And Eve's....Ibakha afterglow maybe? Happy and sated, for the moment she's not doubting her place with the Xaela or thinking about being the Warrior of Light bc she's not here bc of that she's here bc Ibakha saw her across the battle field and she doesn't get many of those anymore

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

The twins are always much quicker to trust someone if Eve trusts them/Eve's around. Left to their own devices Cyn's trust is hard to earn and not necessarily always easy to recognize bc this girl is autistic coded before I realized I was coding her autistic and emotes? don't know her. She's not great at reading people and tends to extrapolate that out into extra wariness. Whereas Aki's got Anxiety and her sisters were her comfot that helped her try new things and she Suddenly Doesn't Have Them and then you pour trauma on top of that? She also barely trusts. But, again, the exception is if they know Eve Trusts* someone, whether she's present or not.

Eve on the other hand, well, being an empath helps a lot, slap on her echo that makes her literally see others' emotions as colors and it's easy for her to figure out who to trust and who not to once she learn to interpret the color changes. She can however, be a little quick to trust, but that evens out as she gets older and gets more worldly.

*unless they have Good Reason to not that Eve is selectively ignoring or they are unable to share

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Eve doesn't know. This is a source of actual anxiety for her because While she's been raised Dotharl, she's not even Xaela. She's not even from the Steppe. Could her soul be reborn Dotharl? Does she want to be reborn Dotharl? Or does she want to be Miqo'te again but ""right"" this time? Or does she just want to float in the aether so long she loses all memories and meaning of this life so her next life has a clean slate? or does she want this to be her last life? She doesn't know what she wants and she doesn't know what she beleives and she tries not to think about it because it always ends up with an identity crisis that no one but she can answer but she has no answer.

Cyn 100% believes she'll be once again born Dotharl. She's Dotharl to her blood and bones, she's mom's daughter, she loves the thrill of battle and what great warrior is there than one of the two warriors of light? there might be some haziness in her mind about what happens between her death and her rebirth but ultimately she figures it doesn't matter. she doesn't remember it now, she won't remember it then.

Aki is also strange in that she's never been a particularly good fighter (in fact instead of glass canon shes just glass) so mom did her best to not tout Dotharl belief at her bc this girl was never going to be a warrior and she loves her girls more than she Insists they live a Good Dotharl Life. She doesn't fear death, like any proper dotharl, but she's not throwing herself into battle (tho perhaps that's part of why she's reckless enough to get kidnapped.) However she's also got like 15yrs of garlean propaganda on top of everything and so her beliefs in the Dusk Mother or the Twelve are hazy and uncertain. Mostly, at this point, Aki fears dying without living and she's determined to make up for lost time. Whatever she believes, if she lives a good life, she figures nothing ill can await her.

[fadeintoyou1993]

lizzie saltzman for the character game ofc (if someone sent it already, do robin buckley <33)

doing robin !! 

one aspect about them i love: this is gonna be soooo corny so look away but im high rn saur idc but i think something i rly rly love about robin is how comforting she is idk. as someone who’s got a gay mom that was a teenager in the 80s i kinda see her as kind of a love letter to women like my mom and how important she is for sooo many different reasons like <3 thats my girl fr. also bc robin + her being sooo autistic coded esp this season and her kinda showing up when i rly fucking needed a boost made me love her even more and shes literally just a lil comforting character that im rly glad is back<3 

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: SHES NOT ANNOYING!!!!!!!! SHES AUTISTIC!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHES A LESBIAN!!!!!!! STOP SHIPPING HER ROMANTICALLY W STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!! OR EDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR JONATHAN???!! OR FUCKING BILLY!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE!!!!!!!!!!! LIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: that she is autistic ! 100% <3 i also hc that she would go by she/they <3 cos my lil autistic lesbian <3 and umm honestly i have a few that ive been coming up with. she definitely loves the cure and the smiths are two. this bitch is gon DIE over fiona apple in a few yrs!!! in the 90s she IS going to get a god is gay tattoo on her thigh. i have so many little headcanons for her in terms of her being autistic that if i were to list them all i think this would b so LONG ksdfjklsdj so nvm!!! sdj OH A HEADCANON FOR STEVE AND ROBIN IS THAT ROBIN CALLS STEVE HER WIFE AND THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN BKJDFLSDJKsdl steve and robin being roommates eventually and wehenever steve has to make any decisions abt anything hes like oh ive gotta ask the husband and the husband is just robin.  they are conservative indiana’s worst nightmare 

one character i love seeing them interact with: NANCY this season and overall steve 100% thats literally her ball and chain right theresdkjjdklsdj 

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: MAX!!!!!!! but also i need robin interacting w el.  and joyce . and just honestly everyone i love seeing her talk 2 ppl shes so funny <3 but mostly max rly need more of that ............. but also i just fucksdfing love ronance bruh i need more nancy interactions pleek ... pleEEK </3

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: fuck i have it allaway in that other bit... well fuck anyways unmmmmm eddie and robin bond over music and being gay and neurodivergent <3 but thats just a given... robin and nancy having girls day w max and el like pleek.... robin taking erica for ice cream COS U KNOW DAMN WELL ERICA AINT LET THEM FORGET ABOUT WHY THE FUCK SHE GOT KIDNAPPED BY RUSSIANS!!!! saur robin literally always just buying erica ice creasmdksddff and they just catch up <3 robin loves erica’s 11 year old gossip she’s ust reading tina to FILTH and robins like no way.............. and u SAID THAT???????????? akldsjlsdfdf like. ugh my mean smart girls <3 NO BC IMAGINE ERICA X MAX X ROBIN JUST BONDING OVER BEING SMART AND MEAN SADLAJSDSDJL i love to see it. god theres sm i wanna see honestlsdfhsdff. maybe i should just write fic 

send me a character<3

[honestlyhufflepuff]

STRANGER THINGS SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

......

Just watched the first part of book 4 and I'm freaking out! I need to know fandom thoughts on the following:

Do you think Vecna/001 really picked El as his favorite because she actually had the strongest potential, or because he saw she was alienated from the others which would make her easier to manipulate and turn against them?

It was never Vecna/001's original plan to just let Eleven go, right? He groomed her enough to know that she would take out that neck thing once he showed it to her right?

WHAT is Will's painting all about?? There's so much buildup. Is he gay or ace?

Robin is very obviously coded Autistic right? Word vomits about very specific sets of knowledge. Says she doesn't get social cues. Mentions she's clumsy and had late developmental milestones. Has she always been coded like that or did they change her character? I don't remember seeing those details before. But there's a lot of refreshers I need with the earlier seasons.

Why do these kids still like playing D&D when they know all this shit is real?

Favorite S4 character? I will protect Argyle with my life.

If the series doesn't end with all these children getting 🎇therapy🎇 I will riot.

Nance and Steve are endgame, right? But where does that leave Johnathan? What are his dreams independent of Nancy?

Dustin's gf is totally Mormon. Utah. Tons of weird homeschooled kids. Pictures of Jesus in every frame. Mormon.

What sadistic fantasy were the Duffer Brothers exploring torturing Hopper so much?? Holy shit I couldn't even watch half the scenes he was in this season without partially covering my eyes. Please get him therapy too.

I don't know about y'all, but I was SO relieved when I saw El wasn't the one who killed all those other children. They had me thinking it was some horrible accident with her powers flaring, but if that was true how would she come back from that? She probably still blames herself because she fell for 001's trick. But what child wouldn't in her circumstances? It's a wonder she can trust anyone at all after what she's been through.

Speaking of trust, are her and Mike endgame? She made a good point about him never writing or saying "love" anymore. And yet it's clear these kids would still die to save each other. Are they just too different to relate to each other and last after all the trauma bonding has passed?

Dustin and Steven are becoming more and more like peers and less like babysitter/kid, and as they both age that will only increase. Their dynamic is probably my favorite in the whole show, and I'm already thinking of fics where they're roomies in their 20's!

[miss-kittyy]

Rewriting Briarlight and Longtail’s Deaths

So I am disabled, like very disabled, I am %50 of the teenagers ever diagnosed with my special combination of pain disorders, and I also unfortunately hyper fixated on warrior cats, which is bad news for me because warrior cats is super ableist, and to add insult to injury, the fandom can also be pretty ableist.

My biggest problem with the majority of “anti-ableist” AUs is that they “fix” the ableism stemming from the narrative and able bodied characters by making the disabled character less disabled, this so bad for many reasons. I’ve talked more about in other posts. The justification that real life disabled cats are less doesn’t make it not ableist, since when was warrior cats meant to be realistic? If you’re making an au where the disabled cats function like actual disabled cats you also have to make all the cats genetically accurate, and retcon Lionblaze lifting a tree.

My problem with warrior cats is not that the disabled characters cannot become full conventional warriors, I’d like it if they got to choose what duties the perform instead of being crammed into the medicine den, but I don’t care about Cinderpelt not being able to complete a marathon. Most of the fandom seems to think the issue is that the disabled character are not useful enough, instead of the way that able bodied characters deny of them agency and make remarks like “you wouldn’t want to return to a life like her’s would you?”. Disabled people do not need to be “useful” to be worthy and empowering.

It’s very obvious that most of the fandom just wants the disabled cats to be more palatable to abled bodied people, so I’ve decided to make my own rewrite instead to hopefully make myself feel better. A lot of these things are inspired by my own experiences and not every disabled person is looking for the same things in representation, this is totally self indulgent.

The goal of this AU is to highlight the many unique and valuable aspects disability and how being disabled does not infringe upon anyone’s worth, ever.

- Longtail doesn’t die in the storm, Briarpaw is still injured, but he’s found besides her, trying his best to help her cling to life.

- after Briarpaw begins to recover he stands up to Millie and other cats insulting her quality of life, he says her journey will be hard, but it is one worth taking.

- She asks him why he’s an elder, and he decides to request to have his warrior ship restored as Briarpaw is dreading the life of an elder.

- On his first patrol the cats accompanying him insist on speaking to him in an incredibly infantilism tone, and whispering amongst themselves over what he can or can’t do, without consulting him,

- He initially gives up on patrolling after that insufferable experience.

- Briarlight begins to create marks and blobs on the wall of the medicine den using crushed up dead herbs she asks him to retrieve some berries for her, and he complies.

- Jayfeather shows him how he navigates the territory with the help of some of the sighted cats, and Mousefur is quick to volunteer as his guide. He finds her company surprisingly empowering. He realizes that it was not his blindness which was limiting his abilities, but the other cats attitudes.

- Mousefur and Longtail return with mouthful of berries and herbs, Briarlight describes to him what she’s drawing on the side of the den and he helps he mound the materials into paint.

- The cats begin to pop into the medicine den to see Briarlights painting and soon Jayfeather has to kick her out occasionally so they’d stop crowding him, she’s given the walls of camp to decorate instead.

- She begins to illustrate Longtails stories of the old territory and Bloodclan, and this new form of storytelling becomes a tradition amongst Thunderclan.

- because more young cats are aware of the clans history it becomes harder for the dark forest to recruit them, unfortunately, Blossomfall’s resentment towards her sister means she never cared to listen.

- Ivypool is still recruited and trained like in canon, given her relationship with the dark forest was much more emotionally charged and manipulative than just plain lies.

- at a gathering Longtail meets Grasspelt who inquires about Briarlight, Longtail is surprised about how little he knows as the she-cat had mentioned how well they got along as apprentices. Despite Millie nagging him not to tell him the truth about her daughter he does anyways, but puts much more emphasis on how well she’s doing than Millie expected. Grasspelt thinks this sounds really cool and decides that he is going to see her and her paintings, and that nobody can stop him. Longtail makes sure to put any opposing cat in their place, but Briarlight is a very respected Clanmate, so most warriors don’t say anything.

- Briarlight is nervous and doesn’t want to come out of the medicine den at first, but when Grassheart darts into the den holding berries and flowers for her to paint with she quickly warms up to her visitor.

- Grassheart is happy to tell Briarlight that he’s never been able to be a “functioning” warrior, and that he has always imagined that his spirit is shaped different, the medicine cat says his body is normal, but he’s never been able to keep focus in a fight or react as quickly as he should be able to while hunting. (He’s autistic because I say so)

- As dusk nears he’s visually hesitant to return to Riverclan and when Longtail inquires on why he says that he hasn’t felt so “here” for a long time. On the way back he wanders off and comes back with a chipmunk, when returning to Riverclan territory his father, Mintfur, is shocked to see his catch. After talking with his family a bit he realizes that it was the noise from the river that was making him so tense and dissociated, Brackenfur, who was escorting him, notices that he keeps rubbing himself on the ground and wincing.

- For the next couple moons Grasspelt returned to Thunderclan to bring Briarlight plants that only grow in Riverclan territory, he begins trying to fish from the quite lazy stream in their territory and soon both him and Briarlight have got it down.

- Longtail notices the sadness present whenever Grasspelt left and exclaims that it’s rather stupid that he’s living somewhere so unsuited for him just because of words long repeated.

- Grasspelt confesses that he feels the same, but knew he wasn’t supposed to say anything. Briarlight tells Longtail that her and the Riverclan warrior had been thinking of each other as mates for moons.

- Longtail accompanies Jayfeather to the next half moon meeting where he proposes his addition to the warrior code, “no cat should be confined to laws which harm them due to an inherent physical or spiritual difference.” (Cats don’t really know how brains work, so they see mental disabilities as a difference within a cats spirit)

- A moon later the leaders meet to discuss this proposition, it is accepted and Grasspelt makes the journey to Thunderclan for the final time.

- Grasspelt is renamed Grassspirit when becoming a Thunderclan warrior, unlike prior renaming of disabled cats this is a celebration.

- Grassspirit spends most of his time taking care of the elders and kits, he’s incredibly compassionate especially with kits and is able to solve many problems within the nursery.

- When twigkit and Violetkit arrive in Thunderclan Briarlight and Grassspirit help raise them, after Violetkit is taken Briarlight and Twigkit paint her on the side of Thunderclan camp.

- Briarlight still gets sick and her illness progresses without any treatment, Grassspirit notices her trying to hide it and when Longtail finds out he’s very upset. Jayfeather frantically treats her, expressing his frustration that she didn’t tell them sooner, the second Millie steps out she breaks down and explains that she just wanted to deal with it herself, and perhaps if she were successful Millie would finally treat her like an adult.

- Longtail gives Millie a stern talking to, he tells her that Briarlight is a warrior of Thunderclan and as her clanmate she should show her some respect.

- Millie is inherently very reactionary, as she had not realized the full extent of her suffocation, but eventually after a couple moons her and Briarlight begin to rekindle their relationship, like adults.

- Blossomfall sees how Brairlight wasn’t basking in their mother’s attention like she imagined, and feels the urge to seek out an actual sisterhood after ignoring Briarlight for moons and moons.

- Briarlight isn’t really mad at her sister, and understands why she felt the way she did. Jayfeather suggests that Blossomfall help Briarlight with her painting, Blossomfall seems put off with the suggestion of being her sister’s assistant.

- The interactions that follow are less than ideal, Blossomfall commends Briarlight’s able friends (Thornclaw, Poppyfrost, Alderheart, etc) for being so nice to her, as if that’s not what friends do. She seems very sad the entire time, sighing when her sister dragged her legs around with her mouth to sit more comfortably, even though she was completely fine. When watching her paint she comments that it’s good she has “something to keep her busy”, and finally she expresses her view, of Briarlight’s injury and her (Blossomfall’s) suffering being all worth it because of her talents, as if her life was not worth living to begin with.

- Briarlight tells her that if that’s truly what she wants she’s going to have to put more effort into understanding and respecting her way of life, and that she won’t apologize for their mother’s actions.

- When Blossomfall has her kits they take a liking to Auntie Briarlight, and Blossomfall seems to have reflected on their past interactions, trusting her sister to watch her kits. Briarlight teases a bit, a subtle way of telling her not to rush things, but they do begin to feel like something close to sisters.

- Right before Briarlight’s Nieces and Nephews are made warriors Longtail dies of Greencough. Throughout the entirety of his sickness he kept his sense of humour, his mean streak, and his immense love for what he had made of his clan.

- At his vigil Grassspirit began whaling like a bird in new-leaf, he insists that the vigil is too sad, and that Longtail wouldn’t want everyone moping around, for Starclan’s sake, his life was good. Standing amongst them, Longtail’s spirit can feel every cat in Thunderclan standing around him, singing the song of a life well lived.

[ahkaraii]

"I'm sorry if it hurts Chi-Chi and Gohan, but please don't try and resurrect me. Besides, Gohan's a lot better person than I was..."

I think about this line a lot. It shows a lot of self awareness from Goku, y'know?

I have a lot of Goku feels, not all of them fandom-friendly. Twitter folks either bash him or defend him unto death, very black and white binary split-like, which makes it difficult to talk about in 140 characters or less. “Good” dad or “Bad” dad is subjective. But I think his actions -- and inactions -- had profound effects on his family and the world beyond, for good and for bad.

Lemme word vomit for a while and see if I can get something coherent out xD

I think he’s a fantastic shonen protagonist -- arguably the template!! -- and I love him as a character that steadfastly drives the story inexhaustibly forward, to stronger and stronger opponents, to ever more fantastic plotlines. But I personally Iike to take a magnifying glass to the small moments, the quiet moments; the breaths in between the panels. And in these moments, I think Goku is a fascinating chimera of a character: a patchwork man he stitched together through mimicry and good intentions and animal impulse.

He acts like a doofus and in many cases its genuine -- he practically self-raised himself in the wild after not just accidentally killing his grandpa, but also after suffering an actually plot-significant brain injury -- but he is no idiot. I think Goku knows he’s different and not just because he’s an alien with a regrowing tail.

Goku isn’t a normal human because he doesn’t connect like a normal human. He loves but it’s because he chooses to love. He’s loyal because he chooses to be loyal. It’s not sociopathy, but it is a kind of almost... autistic spectrum like inability? I hesitate to step on toes here, but I’m basically heavily projecting my own father -- who is himself a man with high functioning autism -- so that’s where I’m drawing my main inspiration.

Goku struggles immensely to understand people who are emotionally volatile. He defaults to humour and acting like he doesn’t get it just to defuse the situation, because otherwise it’s time to Fight and Goku never takes fights lightly, and that often doesn’t end well with squishy humans. He has a moral code but he doesn’t Regret like a normal person does upon causing injury, physical or emotional. He doesn’t empathize like an emotionally adept person can. He reads body language better than tone.

On the vein of being on the spectrum, or just surviving a brain injury, or just being a saiyan, or a combination of all three -- Goku’s special interest is Fighting. And that’s one of the sources of his family’s problems.

Before Raditz, Goku was content fighting in the World Tournament and marrying the world’s strongest woman, and raising a family with her. Farming to make money to support Chichi and Gohan was boring but it was a form of training if he squinted, and he was fine conforming to that. He looked forward to Gohan growing up enough to train him (remember him saying Chichi wouldn’t let him until Gohan got older), and there he’d have another sparing partner. How exciting! He can’t wait. Let’s go fishing, Gohan, I’ll show you how to use your tail just like I used to! Can you catch a bigger fish? I know you can! Isn’t this fun? Haha! I wonder if this is what Grandpa Gohan felt. I miss him. But Gohan’s here with me! Gosh, I can’t wait till I can teach him all I know!

But after Raditz, Goku was introduced to Strength Beyond Earth, and I believe that was the start of the death of Goku’s attachment to his humanity. Because humans had a limit, and the stars did not.

Goku’s not a bad person. He’s not a terrible father. But like a good shonen protagonist, he’s addicted to chasing strength, and the strength beyond even life itself ultimately called him to abandon his mortal coil (which we see culminate in GT’s ending).

It began by wanting to stay dead. He doesn’t want to hurt his family -- he genuinely doesn’t! -- so after surviving Namek’s destruction he preferred to keep them ignorant as he trained on Planet Yardrat, since what good would it do for them to know he lived if he didn’t plan on coming back yet? Then he mastered Instant Transmission!! How amazing! Now he can travel to and from any reaches of the vast universe; he can come home whenever he wants to. Now he doesn’t have to hurt his family AND he can fight whenever and wherever he wants! Wahoo!!

So he comes back to life. Aaaand life’s not the same. Chichi’s not the same -- she mourned his death and she’s still angry he lost her Gohan for a year, and then took him to space, and then he nearly died for it, too -- and Gohan’s not the same. He’s not four years old anymore. He’s not the wide-eyed kid who looked like his father had all the answers. Krillin’s gotten older.  Everyone has changed, even if just a little. Everyone but Goku.

(Except Goku HAS changed. There’s a whole universe to discover. There’s so much strength he can defeat, still. He looks up at the stars at night and feels for Yardrat’s ki. He feels so much ki everywhere up there. He wants to chase it all down. Is it because I’m a Saiyan? Or is it because I’m a bad person? Goku don’t know...but Goku longs for it. He longs for the peace he finds in letting go).

Future Trunk’s message that a heart illness will kill him politely confuses him. Goku doesn’t fear death -- he knows what’s beyond it, now. And there’s fighters there. Even if he dies, there will be people to fight. No worries. But he does worry about this nebulous future where all his loved ones are dead, too, all except Gohan. It sounds like his boy’s gonna have it rough if these android fellas win. Time to beat some androids! :D And hey, this is finally a good excuse to train with Gohan!! So he does that for a couple of years, teaming up with Piccolo. Gohan’s gotten so strong! How exciting!

Chichi’s slowly come ‘round to him again, so that’s nice, too. He doesn’t really get why she’s still so mad but he rolls with it. He responds to violence he can’t fight against with a smile. Her emotions are too hard to follow, and it can get a little tiresome. But he loves her -- he chose to love her, so he does, and he always will. In his own way.

Then the androids come, and then Cell comes, and Goku steals Gohan away for a day and a year inside the Chamber, and he finally, finally realizes -- gosh, Gohan’s not like him at all. Gohan’s what a Real Human should be. What a Real Hero should be. The hero the Earth needs. Because Goku can’t be that hero anymore -- he never could be. He’s not human.

And there’s so many people to fight beyond the stars....

So when Goku choses to die alongside Cell, it was a choice, too. Gohan’s a better person than him, anyway. He’ll make Chichi happy, and he’ll protect the earth, and maybe one day Goku’ll meet him again and they can spar to see their strengths :) He’s so proud of his boy....

So........ is Goku a good father? A bad father? A good person? A bad person?

I think Goku is Goku. So I’ll let you decide :)

(Here’s the canon Goku dialogue from the end of Cell saga: )

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

[polymarinelove]

okay y’all listen up:

if you came to freeform’s siren for the ot3 or if you just loved the ot3 and are Not Okay™ about the current turn of events with the show, I have a show that will be a balm for your battered soul:

leverage

here are some of the perks:

ragtag team of “ex” thieves using their skills to take down the rich and powerful (white men)

epitome of the found family trope (this show basically CREATED the trope, I’m legitimately serious, deadass I believe they were the ones that truly created it) (edit: obviously I’m exaggerating but you catch my drift)

C A N O N polyamorous relationship made concretely canon by the last episode (although there are themes of it throughout the entire series)

also lowkey highkey the writer has been writing fanfiction for the ot3 on ao3 for the past decade but won’t say what his handle is. and no, I’m not even joking:

“villian” of the week storyline that never gets stale

after every con they make sure to dramatically gloat in the background, just in sight of their corrupt mark(s)

there is never a boring episode. no dips in content quality.

the writers didn’t believe in cliffhangers for season finales. they believed if you had to rely on shock factor or cliffhangers to keep the audience you weren’t doing it right

the Smart™ character is Alec Hardison, a black foster kid turned greatest hacker in the world. he loves and respect his nana above all else. (his first major crime was making the bank of iceland pay for his nana’s medical bills). he is PROUD geek (“age of the geek, baby”) and is can be emotional and there is nothing wrong with that (no toxic themes of black man hyper masculinity here, people). he is allowed and is unapologetically himself and on MANY occasions described (by his ot3 partners as well as the rest of the team) as the smartest man they’ve ever known. he is canonically romantically involved with parker for the last two seasons but he is also coded to be in a budding relationship with eliot (no toxic heteronormativity here either)

parker, canonically the greatest thief in the world, has many characteristics of being neurodivergent (possibly autistic) but is N E V E R made fun of or treated differently by her team because of this. she has trouble with emotions and connecting with others and was originally set up as the crazy, quirky girl character but the show was quick to set her up as SO MUCH MORE than that. her team helps her feel again after a rough, childhood and she learns to grift like a pro. shes baby and I’d die for her. she’s extremely smart and is built up to be the next mastermind of the team. her two love interests accept her for who she is and love everything about her. she is also bisexual (DONT @ ME I WILL TAKE THIS TO THE GRAVE THERE WERE TOO MANY HINTS AT IT)

eliot spencer, the hitter. basically is the brawn of the group that takes the hits for his team and fights if there is trouble or if they can’t just get in and out stealthily. started off as an 18 year old soldier with an idealized view of the world, slowly got involved with dubious military involvement and eventually turned into a hit man for hire. made many questionable choices but he eventually got out of that life. he HATES guns and when in fights, always takes his opponent’s gun away, dismantles the clip and throws it off to the side. despite all of this, he is N E V E R ONCE the toxic white manly man with a tragic past trope. never. yeah, he’s made major mistakes. yes, he has a tragic past. but that doesn’t define him. he attones for his past and tries to be better but it’s not a major plot point to overwhelm the viewer with manpain. he sometimes sleeps with other people but always cares about his lovers and pays attention to them (also lowkey sometimes the gender isn’t mentioned about past lovers so 👀👀👀 it’s Noted™). he is sure of himself and has the emotional stability that we wish bucky barnes would have. he teaches the women in his life how to fight and protect themselves. he loves cooking and uses his passion for it to teach parker how to feel (because cooking made him feel again after his terrible past). he’s so IN LOVE with parker and hardison- those heart eyes can be seen from the fucking MOON

sophie deveraux. grifter. english accent. EX art thief (“why does no one take that seriously!!!). wants to be an actress but cannot act for her LIFE unless she’s breaking the law. the mom/aunt of the group. she’s sexy, not just for her age- she’s sexy, period. she talks parker through grifting situations and teaches her how to interact with other people. I’d trust her with my secrets, but not with any valuables.

nate ford. the mastermind. an ex insurance agent. his son died after his company wouldn’t pay for his treatments. became a drunk, but the team gave him a reason to live again. his alcoholism could create problems for him, but it’s not glossed over at all in the show and is constantly addressed. he could be a dick and they didn’t excuse that. he and sophie have a relationship that takes three seasons to finally become something, and in the end after a lot of dancing around it becomes a healthy, loving relationship. he teaches parker to be the next mastermind, but doesn’t DREAM of leaving until he’s sure his kids parker, hardison and eliot will be good on their own. he could have easily been the broken white man trope but wasn’t. also, his “let’s go steal a _____” sctick never gets old- the bigger the thing they steal the better it gets, I promise.

literally, this is the best show of all time. it has it all: taking down rich white men, the found family of your DREAMS, a canon ot3

message my sideblog @leverage-ot3 for any questions or comments. you won’t regret watching this show, I promise.

(I’m tagging some other fandoms as well that I think might enjoy this show)

IMPORTANT EDIT:

the show aired from 2008-2012 (five seasons), but the show runners have reached a critical rage point about corporations today and have RENEWED IT for a sixth season (and possibly more)!!!

[oquinn53]

BNHA THEORY RAMBLING WITH SPOILERS

Okay so second bnha rambling with theories because I can’t think straight so I think of bnha! Specifically Deku.

Specifically, Deku’s endgame. There are so many theories out there and I just.... think about Deku specifically a lot. I mean he’s the protagonist and everything and I love him and a common theory that I actually do kinda think about a lot is Deku losing OFA. But I don’t think he’ll end quirkless. I think a lot of things need to happen but let’s start with me rambling about Deku’s characterization, how it can all be wrapped up in this:

Deku has PTSD. (This part is LONG and talks about masochism and mentions suicide and all that. Other points are shorter!) And I don’t mean post war arc or even post Bakugo’s kidnapping, if we want to go that far back. Deku has PTSD from the VERY start. This kid is a walking mental illness. Sources? Hi, I’m a Civilian With PTSD and I saw Deku at the beginning and I watched Deku’s horrible mental health deteriorate EVEN MORE than it started off as. This is really important to me, to state that he has it from the beginning, because I believe in the character growth and development. I might be talking out my ass but it’s fun so. Why do I say he starts out from it? Let’s look at symptoms.

A) hyperfixation, my old friend. Deku fixated hardcore on All Might and Heros in general. But he fixated specifically on All Might and he gets EMBARRASSED about it a lot. (Funny enough, the embarrassment of it is also a symptom of ADHD but I’m not as well versed in that). Hyperfixation is a very very common coping method.

B) His anxiety. Kinda self explanatory here. He’s a bully victim. He also has been literally classified as LESS. Quirkless. But also defenseless. Useless. We’ve heard that, his anxiety is there but it’s because of what DEFINES him. His self identity was born from what everyone else tells him. He’s a determined boy, but his sense of self is only wrapped up in what other people think—or specifically, what All Might thinks. Which blends a bit with...

C) A loss sense of identity. I talked about this a little bit he last part but Deku’s goal to become a hero is so tied to All Might that even when he gains the quirk, he has to have it beaten into him with warning of losing the use f his arms for him to realize he’s NOT All Might. But that’s still what he sees, even when he switches to using his legs more. He has no idea who he is. He just copies. He copies Bakugo’s moves again and again. And while it’s cool to see all the parallels and growth of Deku learning from others, there is a message of “making it his own” when Deku copies others again and again because he has no idea who HE is. He analyses like crazy because figuring out how other people do things is the only way he can figure out how HE can do things. Also, the whole language change because his image of victory is Bakugo? Literally his speech pattern isn’t his own, his every day one matching his mother’s.

D) repressed and heavily released emotion. He’s 0 or 100, both when he gets OFA and with his emotions. I mean. Feral!Deku. Do I need to say more? Yes, because I was to drive home how not okay Deku is from the very beginning. Boy cleans the beach and screams bloody murder. He has no idea what emotion to have and needs to let it out. Doesn’t matter he just did a shit ton of physical release, he has so much emotions that he doesn’t know what to do with. Just like Bakugo’s anger, Deku’s emotion usually comes out as his tears. Boy cries a lot but sometimes tears aren’t enough and Deku screams a LOT. Even his own excitement bursts out in bigger ways, with his mumbling and fact dropping (god, also slightly autistic coded maybe? Blurred lines with ADHD there, it again, not my area of expertise)

E) black and white thinking. He’s young, so that explains some of this but just like I mentioned above with the 0 or 100, he represents the mindset of civilians. He literally blinds himself at the very start to even what’s happening to HIMSELF. He sees hero and he sees villian and those are his two categories. Bakugo literally tells him to kill himself and Deku thinks about how that would negatively affect Bakugo. He doesn’t and never does see Bakugo as a villian for this. He sees “wow that wouldn’t be good for his Hero image” and because Deku sees Bakugo as a hero, everything has to fit into that. And while Deku has huge growth with this next part, he also originally viewed villains as just villains. He learned a LOT and while the society’s image becomes less black and white for him (because the whole manga revolves around the gray morality of it all) he still doesn’t see much gray area. It’s win or lose. With the sports festival, he literally won the race without his quirk. He got through the Calvary battle despite being a giant ass target. He placed in the top 8 (which he probably would have gotten higher on if his goal didn’t change) and despite accomplishing his goal with Todoroki, he broke down about not doing what All Might asked him despite gaining permanent scarring and a hell of a warning re his arms. But to point back at the beginning, this is reinforced with his entrance exam. Passing the written exam meant NOTHING because he did “””nothing””” in the practical.

F) last point, Deku’s a masochist. Obviously with the broken bones and things but I’m not even just talking about the physical damage he does to himself—which is, what, 95% of the time what he gets most of his wounds from? Anyway—I’m talking about his mindset. Masochism isn’t just the physical act of causing pain. It’s that mindset of deserving pain. The reasoning doesn’t matter. Deku only “betters” himself for the sake of giving more to others. He trains so hard, not for himself, but for others. On the outside it might seems like his goal of becoming a hero is his own but he sacrifices his body and dives into situations where he’s literally been warned he’s going to die and he just does it anyway. Eri’s Arc and him “changing the future” is what I’m referring to here and you could say “well he DID say he would change that future!” And okay, sure, but he was told Sir is never wrong. But he would rather rush into that future where he dies than take even a moment to think through his actions. But anyway, my point is him at the beginning so I specifically mean the training montage. Where he was ALREADY on a tough schedule that he knew would be difficult and he literally adjusted it and added MORE. Because, to circle back to other points because mental illness always overlaps points, he can only think of himself as 0 or 100, black and white, Able To Save or Failure. If he can’t be at 100 then he believes he deserves pain and causes it to himself. The only time he regrets his injuries is when it prevents him from giving MORE of himself to others. He learns his shoot style not because he doesn’t want to hurt himself but because he doesn’t want to become useless to others. He trains and loses sleep and puts his body through hell because he thinks of himself only as something for others. (I think wanting to save Shigaraki is a powerful moment not because it’s Pure Boy Deku but because it’a his own thinking, his OWN want, but.... it’s still not for him and will still cause him pain). And a last point on this, Heros Rising showed us that Deku is willing to give up his quirk and his dream to win and it showed us that while he believed he didn’t have any other choice, he was deeply disappointed in himself. Winning wasn’t enough. Hurting himself THAT MUCH wasn’t enough. He let All Migjt down and giving up his dreams, almost dying, becoming quirkless, all wasn’t enough to counteract the shame he held. Like god. Baby.

Other small observations or relevant commentary:

1) The doctor who told Deku he was quirkless is the same doctor who worked on Shigaraki. Same doctor who can perseve dead bodies. Same doctor who worked with AFO and all that. (See? Short! Will be relevant soon)

2) One for All is tied to All for One. OFA was literally created the moment a hand reached out to help. Can one even exist without the other?

3) Bakugo needs to apologize. Horikoshi has literally said in an interview post Heros Rising that Bakugo needs to apologize. Sacrificing his life to save Deku is NOT how you apologize to Deku. Deku will ask for a receipt on this type of apology. Return to sender. Unacceptable. So. Bakugo needs to apologize.

4) Deku’s dad isn’t in the picture yet. Hasn’t even been spoken of except for the fact we know his quirk is fire breathing and his name is Hisashi. Oh and he’s abroad. Oh and Horikoshi said he’ll be in the picture at some point. Given we’re in the final arc......... this might not be relevant at all to my theory because I have mixed thoughts on AFO being Deku’s dad but it would connect a few things in the theory.

SO. Finally, all of this together had me thinking about Deku’s characterization and what this (now with COMBAT related ptsd and not just civilian ptsd) means for his ending.

Like I said, I think he’s going to lose OFA. And I originally didn’t think so because Heros Rising showed his losing it and why would they do that again? The movie is canon. Horikoshi himself said so and was a huge part of the production of it. So they did that and wouldn’t do it again. Except.... Deku GAVE OFA away. Which is significant because it was his choice. And he had shame and we witnessed how much that hurt him, but we haven’t seen what’s now been tried TWICE: OFA being forcibly taken from him. Maybe by Shigaraki, since that is building up big time. But maybe by saving Shigaraki.

Either way, what’s more significant to me than how he has it taken is what that means for him, based on everything else above: he would lose his entire self identity. He would literally have no idea who he is anymore except for the only reference he’s ever had, which his from when he was quirkless. He gained friends only after he had a quirk. Every bond he has is tied to him being a hero and he was told it was impossible for him to be a hero without a quirk. Even All Might’s adjusted answer to him at the beginning involved giving him a quirk as the answer for him being able to become a hero.

I think this is the absolute perfect chance for Bakugo to say “since when did you need a quirk to be a hero”. And it doesn’t matter much what the context is, what causes Deku to still need to be a hero (whether a Situation or just an identity crisis) and I think about Quirkless Deku as a hero a lot, since that’s how he was originally written in the one shot before he was revamped for bnha.

But I don’t think Deku will end quirkless either because of who his doctor was. I think Deku had a quirk. I think the doctor stole it. Whether that’s because AFO is Deku’s dad and saw his quirk and knew he had to take it for some reason or whether it was independent and the doctor saw it and took it. The whole toe thing can be written off so easily that Deku could easily have had a quirk at some point.

And maybe, if AFO and OFA are cancelled out, the quirks that were stolen go back to their original owners. Meaning Deku gets his ORIGINAL quirk back.

As in, Deku gets his own identity.

And what would that quirk be? Hm. I don’t know. But. His mom can move small objects. His dad can breath fire. A mutation, maybe? I’ll leave that one up in the air.

And there are a lot of implications here that this could mean for him, as far as healing. And I just want him to be happy.

[heraldofzaun]

what are your thoughts on viktor and being neurodivergent? though like, obligatory disclaimer that if riot ever did come out and say that "hey! viktor is canonically [something]" that would be catastrophic but i think it is a little bit of fun for consideration

Oh! Well I like to think he's autistic, which is partially because I am too. (Of course in canon it would be catastrophic because haha, oh man, look at how they've treated Blitzcrank's biographies ever since they gave him an updated one. There's some coding in there, alright, and I am... not a fan...)

I’ve posted a lot of long posts recently (this is no exception) and this is also on a kind of tricky subject, so I’m readmore’ing it.

So anyways, while I have to admit that some of the reason why (my) Viktor is autistic is because I am - I think that you can make a general semi-convincing argument. Or I'm so wrapped up in my own interpretations that I can, at the least. Anyways, from here on out when I say Viktor I mean my personal take. Your mileage may vary on applying this to other interpretations.

(Also, thoughts on new lore Jayce's being kind of coded to be like, a stereotypical autistic dude? (If you have any I mean.) I don't like that Riot is doing it, of course, but I've seen a few good rehabilitative takes on it in fandom. @hamartio's Jayce springs to mind, because their Jayce has been developed over the years and also written by someone who like. Cares. Anyways, I have my own personal Jayce ideas that rely on his old lore so he's not really an asshole there, at least in those regards, so I don't really have many thoughts on new Jayce. I think new Viktor is... pretty coded as well, but it’s also insanely stereotypical. The whole “always working, always wants certainty, gets into automation not because he (primarily) wants to help those injured by catastrophes in Zaun but because the catastrophes interrupt his work” thing makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll write sometime on why the rewrite of his lore fails, in my opinion, to hit upon the same themes of his first - would that be of interest to folks? Anyways, this parenthetical is too long.)

I think that autistic Viktor is cool and makes sense, somewhat because of the fact that the ways he goes about solving his problems are, er, unorthodox. (Of course I am not saying that the GE is because he’s autistic, because that’s stupid. This is why I’m kind of squirrely about talking so openly about what I think Viktor’s got going on, and why I don’t really trust if a non-autistic person headcanons him as autistic. There’s a lot of room for that headcanon to just reinforce the “autistic people are supergeniuses with no emotions that work based off of Facts and Logic” trope, and I hate that.) Since a lot of autism is about feeling adrift from/at odds with neurotypical society, I think that Viktor’s general solutions and also his idealistic leanings in the face of everything Zaun is tracks for that. Roboticization makes sense as a way to stop suffering and death, because it’s more achievable than individual feats of immortality through magic or whatever. Viktor doesn’t really get why people would be so opposed to it - he’s made it clear that while he dislikes his own emotions and wants them gone, he doesn’t expect others to cast off theirs. (Maybe he expected that when he was in the thick of his emotional pain, mostly because he couldn’t imagine others choosing differently than he at the time, but not in the current day.)

Of course, externally, when the scary cyborg man who admits to cutting off his own limbs says “no, being a robot is cool, you can keep your emotions even”, any Zaunite (or any person) is going to interpret that as “he is definitely lying”. Viktor doesn’t quite make that leap. (I have thoughts on the whole Theory of Mind concept and I don’t mean to say that Viktor can’t empathize - he does, and does too much - with others, but I think that in this instance he just can’t quite understand sometimes why people don’t believe him.) He also doesn’t quite get why people would be so attached to the bodies that they’re currently in, especially if he can make a mechanical replica. Or why people might want to die and pass into non-existence after a life well lived. (To him, personally, there’s always more to do. Also he’s terrified of death but that’s another topic.)

I also think that Viktor’s empathy is of the hyper- rather than hypo- kind, partially because I feel like outside of self-advocacy groups the mere concept of autistic hyperempathy is seen as like... impossible? It’s also because he generally seems to be kind of an emotional guy in canon before Stanwick, what with the lore saying that “almost no trace of the original man remained” in reference to Viktor reemerging as someone without emotions. That, combined with the fact that he was described as having a “hope to better society” before everything went down, kind of makes me believe that he was a naive idealist type. (Again, not that autism makes you naive, but...) But yes, hyperempathy. Hence "no pain, no wars, no suffering, no death” being part of his ideology for the Glorious Evolution. He gets pretty ripped up about people being hurt, and it’s really only gotten worse over the years as he’s grasped the full scope of pain in the world.

Personally, I write pre-Stanwick-incident Viktor as someone who is still somewhat awkward with expressing emotion, but it’s not due to him not having them. It’s due to the fact that the ways in which he naturally expressed them and in which he interacted with the world were just... seen as odd/different/etc. (I don’t think Runeterra has an autism diagnosis or particularly excellent psychology, even in Piltover and Zaun, so he just gets the “you’re a weird dude” treatment for his entire life.) Stimming or smiling a certain way or talking a lot about his interests or, you know, the general autistic existence is weird to most people around him, as it unfortunately is in real life. So he’s more reserved until you actually know him, because he’s just masking all the time. (Fun fact about my Viktor: he’s pretty expressive under that actual mask of his. It helps to not have to micromanage expressions all the time when he isn’t experiencing a bout of flat affect due to [gestures vaguely at everything else going on with his mental state], although he sometimes feels poorly about not being able to manage himself. But that’s his issues, and I think it’s good for him to show emotion.)

Side note - Stanwick was able to do such a number on Viktor due to: a) Stanwick being very charismatic and manipulative, on top of being an actually smart man and scientist - he’s really a great example of a “good Zaunite”, in the sense of being good at being what the culture rewards, b) Viktor actively dealing with the death of his parents and Stanwick being an older adult who’d treated him kindly and had never seemed put-off by Viktor’s oddities, and c) Viktor not realizing that he’d get backstabbed, because yes he knows that that happens in academia but Stanwick’s nice. Whether or not the outcomes would have been the same if Viktor were more competent at being “a good Zaunite”... well, probably not. Viktor ended up where he did because of who he is.

(Secondary side note: Viktor has a very strong and very black-and-white sense of what’s right and wrong, as well as general black-and-white thinking. You can see how that would have... not helped in the situations he was put through.)

This is getting kind of rambling, but I guess the point of this is that Viktor’s wanting to remove his emotions may be cloaked in the language of them being “inefficient” or “unhelpful”, which would feed into autistic stereotypes, but it’s really more of a matter of them being too painful and raw for him to process. He feels too much and hurts too much, and no amount of positive emotions in the world will (in his mind) make up for the pain he’s felt and will feel. So it’s better to not feel anything at all, isn’t it? At least then you aren’t overwhelmed by it all.

Viktor just hasn’t fit in with Zaun for all his life, really. Not as an odd child who can tell you all about science-fiction and techmaturgy, not as an odd and reserved teenager/young adult, not as a bright young doctoral student still dealing with grief but trying to make the best of it, and... not as the Machine Herald. But now he’s given up on trying to fit in, for better or for worse.

(Other miscellaneous and less serious autistic thoughts on him: generally a pretty fixed diet, partially due to being autistic but also due to what’s easily available in Zaun + what agrees with his stomach. A fan of weight and pressure - I like to think that the reason his outfit is like that is that he finds it comforting, and also that he has a weighted blanket or two around. Special interests of general techmaturgy, robotics, and science-fiction. He can talk for hours about any of those, and has. Both his parents were mildly spectrum-y, his mother a little bit moreso, so they just kinda assumed that him being him was out-of-the-ordinary and a bit strange but not something “horribly wrong”. Oh! And his third arm, which is under a little less conscious control than the rest of him, still stims sometimes when he’s working or otherwise not paying attention to it.)

This was very long and jumped around a lot, because I find it hard to give a convincing paragraph-by-paragraph argument about exactly why I think that Viktor is autistic, or rather why I headcanon him as such. But hopefully it was interesting! I just have a lot of thoughts on him, as well as the general state of autistic-coded or perceived-as-autistic-by-individuals (both allistic and autistic) characters in media and so it’s very hard to do anything concise without branching out into discussing other topics.

[lorablackmane]

Kid & Tuna Sandwich: A Purr-fect Combo

Hello fellow KC fans I’m here to ramble ‘bout how amazingly written Kid and Tuna’s relationship is written as someone who was like him when it came to my kitty. (This essay became longer than I expected so I put it under the read more)

First, Tuna loves him so much and it ain't just because Kid gives him sandwiches like most people would think, especially after seeing the flashback/nightmare scene. He loves Kid, and this is fully proven at the end of the 3rd episode when Kid places a sandwich between them and tuna ignores it completely to snuggle up under his head and purr. Tuna attacks the government, aliens, anything that could harm kid despite him having nothing but his teeth and claws - no superstrength, no invincibility, nothin. It’s his love for the kid that keeps him fighting to the point he’s willing to hijack a truck to save him when he thinks he’s going to die. To him, Kid is a sunbeam in a dreary house - a source of warmth and happiness that’d make any kitty lucky to have around.

And that platonic love and trust is fully reciprocated by Kid. Everyone else had to prove themselves to get or keep their ring (Jo convinced him he’d need a partner against a threat, Rosa destroyed Chuck’s plan, Papa G used his to rescue himself and the others).

Tuna though? He has Kid's full trust. He can't even tell them what's going to happen and the ring would be far better suited for a human member but Kid let's tuna keep it because he truly trusts Tuna, maybe even more than he trusts Papa G!  

And it makes sense! Like I get it, because just like Kid I've had my own old man since I was younger even younger than when Kid found Tuna - I was younger than Rosa actually. When I was Kid’s age my own old man had my full trust - I would have totally trusted him with cosmic power just because I know I can trust him! It’s not logically logical, but it is emotionally logical - especially considering Kid’s hobbies. Even if you aren’t a comic book fan you might know the story of Dexter/Dex-Starr, the Red Latern who is a cat. And Dex-Starr isn’t the only animal superhero! Ace the Bathound debuted in Batman #92 which came out in June of 1955, and before him Rex the Wonder Dog and Krypto - all of these are animals but also superheroes. And if I remember correctly not all of these fuzzy friends can talk, so to Kid the fact a cat can be a hero is perfectly sound. And even better, it’s his bestest friend whose been by his side since he was little - ready to listen to him read comic books and stuff (AN: I just wanted to add that during Tuna’s short if you look closely Tuna’s only pretending to sleep while Kid’s with him. During most of it his brow is turned downward and resting on his muzzle, but when he’s with Kid it’s slightly above the muzzle. He’s listening to Kid’s reading and I bet Kid knows it too since he’s been with him so long).

The two of them know each other almost perfectly. When they go to save him after Tuna can talk and the kid freaks out excitedly, to the point he can only repeat the same thing, Tuna understands what he wants to say and tells him he loves the kid too before moving his head towards Kid - who meets him exactly at the same time before hugging him. That's not a motion you can do so perfectly if it's not something you do often, so they do the kitty affection thing of butting heads often enough it's ingrained in how they react to 1 another. Kid always has a tuna sandwich with him ready for his kitty (AN: which reminds me of another autistically coded, well written kid character - Lilo. It’s interesting how both of these kids, who lost their parents in car crashes, ended up doing a regularly done ritual involving sandwiches), knows how Tuna wants to be petted, and when he rescues them he immediately knows how and why he came despite not having actually seen his power. Tuna allows Kid to play with him (ex. Episode 1, after Kid descends into babbling at him he grabs Tuna’s face and Tuna doesn’t growl or anything, just waits for him to let go), is the 1st to realize Kid’s upset at being called comic relief (during the big win when everyone is making fun of Kid, his eyes are surprised and open and only turns after he hears the door chime), and listens to him read comics to the point where certain ideas are part of his dreams.  Tuna says he'd been dreaming of a device that'd let him communicate for years. That sort of tech is so common in comics, so kid hasn't been just talking to the air, Tuna has been listening to him when he gets excited and reads his comics to him.

In conclusion, their dynamic is one of the best written kid and animal friend dynamics I’ve ever watched since I was a little creature, and I hope season 2 has more moments that expand on their relationship.

Thank you for reading! Here’s an obligatory old pic of my own old man btw, back when he looked a lot like Tuna.

[agoddamn]

I've always liked you star wars takes, can I ask if you have a hottakes about anakin/his fanon portrayal?

A lot of Anakin's problems are caused by the sort of person that Anakin is, and fandom is reluctant to address this.

To be clear--Anakin was groomed. Anakin absolutely was groomed and manipulated and led into a corner and that's, y'know, bad.

...But. But.

Even before falling, Anakin is the sort of person who doesn't blink when a dozen men die because he thought he didn't have to listen to orders (Clone Wars Asajj debut). He's the sort of person who goes 'wouldn't it just be easier if none of you had rights?' (AotC). He's the sort of person who is certain that he's entitled to special treatment (AotC).

Let's stop lying to ourselves: Anakin Skywalker is absolutely the kind of man who would demand to speak to a manager.

Anakin wants great power, but he doesn't care for great responsibility. That's a problem.

A lot of fanon pushes Anakin into sympathizing with the clones from a slavery perspective, but as far as movie canon is concerned that never happens. Anakin doesn't put himself in the position of the clones because he thinks he is better than them--and, again, AotC itself: Anakin really does think that it would just be easier if some people didn't have rights and didn't make trouble about it.

I think people do this because it rankles them for a victim of slavery to turn around and perpetuate it without blinking, but...that's how most abuse is perpetuated in real life, honestly. It's a bitter pill, but I find it perfectly believable that Anakin 'coped' with his enslavement and release by choosing to believe that he's some level of 'better' or 'special', and carried that attitude with him for the rest of his life.

There's also this occasional effort to push Anakin as some flavor of neurodivergent (usually ADHD) as explanation for why he doesn't fit in among the Jedi. Which...I think it's asking a lot to ask me to buy that the Jedi, in thousands of years and across hundreds of species, have never encountered neurodivergence or something analogous and have no idea how to accommodate it.

Shit, Yoda having a hoverchair implies that the Jedi do understand the basic concept of accommodation and that there's little stigma applied to it if the grandmaster himself needs an assistive device.

That perspective--"the Jedi just don't understand Anakin because he has brain problems!"--also feels particularly shallow to me, because, if we want to talk about neurodivergence...the Jedi Order also shows signs of that coding.

Blunted affect? Unusual processing of emotion? Averse to physical affection? Regimented lifestyle? Different response to "normal" stimuli?

That's autism, baby!

Now, I'm not remotely arguing that every Jedi is autistic or that the Force is magic autism or anything like that. I'm trying to point out that the fanon push of "Anakin is ADHD and the Jedi traumatized him by not recognizing that" shows hypocricy in wanting to grant Anakin a protected status and inherent validity but not allowing the Jedi any of the same benefit.

Also, I don't even like Padme and I think she deserved better. If you choke out your pregnant wife you do not deserve her, and you should not be in a relationship with her, and you have no right to future contact with those children. You having a really bad day or being strung out on heroin does not contradict this. The fandom impulse to protect Anakin with "but it was the Dark Side!" or "Palpatine was probably the one who actually killed her!" is very weird.

Anakin is a sympathetic, troubled character who makes some incredibly bad decisions. That's what makes him an interesting character. Let him own that.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

So first Casualty pulled a Bury Your Gays on Saturday, now Holby looks set to pull a Bury Your (Coded, But So Heavily So It’s Like Halfway Canon Anyway) Bisexuals. For god’s sake, Holbyverse, can you give the queer characters a break for 5 seconds? (I’m mostly joking, in that I don’t think killing Jac off would be an actual BYG, it would just be shit writing. But this is also genuinely bothering me a little.)

Look. I refuse to believe that Jac is going to die from this because I refuse to believe that Jac can die. That woman is totally immortal, I’m right and I should say it. She’s survived a motorbike crash, giving up a kidney, being shot, being experimented on and nearly murdered by Henrik’s evil boyfriend, and a second hospital shooter. And that’s only the things that come to mind, there’s probably even more crazy stuff she’s lived through. She’s got to survive this brain tumour too, surely?

I believe I’ve gone into why killing off Jac Naylor would be a terrible writing choice before, when she left earlier this year and we were all scared she was gonna die. I can’t be bothered to go into it again. But the TL;DR is that it is not at all a fitting ending for her character. It wouldn’t work. It would just feel sadistic, frankly. She deserves a happy ending. Also, you can’t even excuse the possibility of Jac dying with “oh but the show is ending” because they didn’t know the show was ending when they started working on this storyline. Davood Ghadami started filming in April, this is only his 3rd episode so it would’ve still been filmed in April. The crew had no idea the show was being cancelled until June.

I mean, I guess I can understand if Rosie wanted the metaphorical door shut, but that would be about the only excuse. (Speaking of Rosie, her acting was absolutely fantastic tonight. That’s more than worth mentioning.)

Anyway. As much as I’m disliking the story choices at the moment, I have to admit the actual scripts have gotten better in recent weeks. Tonight’s episode was really well-written, by the very talented Ciara Conway.

Henrik in particular was surprisingly good tonight. From the spoilers I expected him to really lean into the whole CEO thing, but they actually mostly gave him a rest from that this week. They just let him be Henrik, instead of Mr. Hanssen, and as usual, the writing was all the better for it.

Henrik finding out about Carole’s dementia absolutely broke my heart - I don’t know if the writers remember that he has feelings for her, but Guy Henry clearly remembers, and you could see it shining through in his performance. It was so sad to watch. Poor Henrik, everyone he falls in love with always ends up dead - Roxanna, Gaskell, now Carole is dying. It’s just so very sad. :(

Not to mention this isn’t the first time Henrik’s lost a friend to dementia either. Remember David Hopkins? Yeah. And now Henrik’s gonna have to go through that pain all over again. While another close friend of his is also possibly dying. God, someone PLEASE give that man a hug.

The last few scenes with him and Jac were brilliant, too. Very in-character, and amazingly performed by both Guy and Rosie. Jac and Henrik may have a lot of conflicts professionally, but they really do care about each other and understand each other, and I felt like you could really see that tonight. Henrik approaching Jac’s situation calmly and logically, expressing concern without patronising her - gaaah. I love them so much.

Now I’m done talking about my 2 favourite neurodivergent bisexuals, onto the rest of the episode:

Eli (whom I also consider a favourite neurodivergent bisexual, but there’s not actually any evidence - so far - for him being bi so it’s just my headcanon so he doesn’t really count lol) is great and I love him more and more by the week. He also gets more and more visibly autistic by the week. Good for him.

Why the HELL are they revisiting the Cameron storyline?? Who wanted that?? For god’s sake. I can’t believe Cameron is getting this much aftermath, while they refuse to acknowledge that Gaskell even existed (both storylines sucked but at least Gaskell was an interesting character).

Elsewhere, poor Kylie. Imagine finding out - on your birthday - that the man you’ve fallen for is already seeing someone else. Poor girl. Glad Madge invited her to dinner though.

The Jeni storyline is a mess, but I actually thought the writing for it was very good tonight. It felt heartbreakingly realistic. Poor Evie and Mia. They’re both so confused, because they know deep down that something is wrong, but Jeni and the men she’s trafficking them to are both convincing them it’s all okay and normal. :( It’s awful.