#funky practical effects > cgi

[startreklesbian]

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES 2023, dir. Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Dale

[doomdoomofdoom]

We as a society need to return to practical effects over CGI, this shit goes so hard.

"We created this android innards out of milk, caviar, pasta, fiber optics, and Foley urinary catheters" vs "Some guy in a poorly ventilated room didn't get to see his family this weekend to render the clothing folds on a superhero costume"

Montage de photos

[bogkeep]

last year i wrote my opinions on all the movies i watched on my Very Long Flights to australia, since long flights are a great opportunity to watch some movies i probably wouldn't have bothered to seek out otherwise. here's the stuff i watched this time around

the first 13 episodes of rurouni kenshin: okay so back when i watched demon slayer for the first time i asked around like "does anyone know any other Good Sword Animes. i'm in a big mood for Sword Anime" and a friend told me that they were going to tell me about THE sword anime, but with a BIG caveat. and the caveat was such that i went "ah yeah maybe i won't look into that one". i've since heard more about this series and been very curious about the story, because it sounds like My Shit. i figured in-flight entertainment is probably one of the more ethical ways to watch it, and i have confirmed that it is indeed My Shit. extremely skilled swordsman torn between his bloody past and a new life? he can win any fight, but at the cost of his soul? yeah. yeah. will say that the subtitles left in a lot of japanese terms and words that i think i would've greatly benefited to know the meaning of - like i figured it out from context eventually, but yeah. so Now I Know. at least my curiosity is sated.

the new wonka movie - it was Fine! i appreciated the sincere efforts of whimsy and trying to stick to a roald dahl-esque tone, though in hindsight it's ENTIRELY too magical and sugary sweet (hah). could definitely have done without the fatphobia - something that is very present in the source material, so i shouldn't have been surprised that it features in the prequel, too... it just made me go "nooo noooOooooo don't do that uuughhh noooooooooooooooooooo" a lot. honestly, as far as vibes go, this movie reminded me the most of the first f*ntastical beasts movie (you know, the one that came out in 2016, when we were still young and innocent) - like, decently charming, very cgi.

the old willy wonka movie - i had never seen this one before, and it provided me a lot of context for the New movie :') now THIS really hits the Unhinged Dangerous vibes the new movie lacked. easily the best played willy wonka. a grand old time. i <3 practical effects.

3/4ths of the barbie movie rewatch - is the barbie movie still fun to watch, even after a year of Essays and Takes? i think so. i was in a practical effects mood and had less than two hours left of my flight. like, it's The Barbie Movie. it will never be That Deep because it cannot escape its corporate mainstreamness, but i love the actual play-pretend whimsy and exorbitant amount of pink paint and funky outfits.

killers of the flower moon - i'd considered watching this on my previous flight, i had heard of the movie and put it on my to-watch list, but the THREE HOURS AND TWENTY SIX MINUTES runtime scared me off. not because i didn't have time (my flights were 12 hours and 7,5 hours respectively), but because i knew it was gonna be Heavy and Depressing and you gotta have the right mood for three hours of That. both of my flights had the exact same entertainment catalogues i gave it a try first thing on flight #2, knowing i don't have to finish it if i don't want. it was very good but oh boy heavy and depressing was correct! really good buildup of dread and despair as the web of murder closes in like water circling the sink. very good period piece, and everything i've read about it after indicates that martin scorsese worked very closely with the osage people to create this movie.

the lego movie rewatch - this is one of my favourite movies that i've seen many times but haven't in a while, and after the Three Hours And Twenty Six Minutes of indigenous people getting poisoned and murdered i REALLY needed something light-hearted. i was also severely sleep deprived at this point. all this to say that i was almost overwhelmed by how fun this movie is and kept tearing up at almost every scene. it's just such a good time!!!! my critique of this movie has always been that it has two tropes that annoy me - the "highly competent girl is reduced to an assistant for the clueless 'chosen one' dude" and "person who has changed their name goes back to use their ~*real name*~ because it's more valid than whatever they picked" - that only annoy me because of how prevalent they used to be at the time when this movie came out. in isolation, the story works really well and i still like it so so much. everything is awesome!!!!!!

anyway those are my movie thoughts

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Alien: Romulus

Since the dawn of time and creation of the science fiction genre, there have been 3 pillars that have stood the tallest: the parasite, the hunter and artificial intelligence. Each pillar has been represented by 3 of the greatest icons known as the Alien, the Predator and Terminator. All 3 have crossed each other in comics, 2 of them fought in film and only 1 has truly returned to it’s former glory. Terminator needs more time in the factory while the film Prey has taken the Predator franchise back into the right direction. Less is more and that lesson was on full display here in this new entry into the Alien franchise. Like most of you, I was disappointed by the events of Alien: Covenant and I have been begging for the franchise to return to its horror / claustrophobic roots and it finally happened. What I truly loved about this film was not only its directly connection to the 1979 classic, but how it puts us right back into the familiar, harsh and unnerving atmosphere. The consistent tone of dread was welcomed as the story unravels from its heartfelt beginnings and quickly descends into the harsh and brutal nightmare. The many Easter eggs were fun to catch in the corners of the frames and there is a reveal that worked for the lore, but was still a funky in execution. Either way, this was everything I wanted this film to be and the wonderful cast led us through it brilliantly.

The amount of immersion the cast brought was fantastic as they weren't science officers or soldiers, but just normal people trying to make it out of a tough life. Cailee Spaeny is quickly becoming a talent to keep an eye out for. As Rain, she brings that innocence and hope to the film as she strives to make a new life for herself and her surrogate brother. I loved how she balanced the amount of terror and strength she felt in the most harrowing moments of the film. She truly studied what made Ellen Ripley so great from the first film. David Jonsson was outstanding as her surrogate brother Andy. I was completely taken off guard by his reveal early in the film and I kinda want to keep it that way for you. I'll say that throughout the film, he delivers a challenging performance that has so many elements of human expression while keeping the same look on his face throughout. Even with his sometimes cold and analytical way, he still had a charm to him that wasn't as cold as perceived at first. Archie Renaux was great as the leader of the crew, Tyler and the emotional journey he goes through in one scene was painful and well acted. Isabela Merced was great as Tyler's sister, Kay and I enjoyed the chemistry between her and Rain the most. Key gets to witness some of the most terrifying and grotesque moments of the film and I loved every second of remarkable performance. Spike Fearn was a proper jerk as Bjorn and he keeps the tension high with his attitude towards Andy. He was a great antagonistic protagonist that you wouldn't mind seeing get hurt. Aileen Wu was fun as Navarro and I liked her connection with the crew overall. As you've seen from the teaser and poster, she becomes the star of the show and gets become another participant of an iconic moment in all Alien films.

The score by Benjamin Wallfisch was wonderfully unnerving and delivers on some of the jump scares and thrills. I loved the uses of almost all the themes from the past Alien films being used in select moments as they play right on cue with the visual references. What has been the staple of the Alien franchise is the amount of practical effects and use of CGI when absolutely necessary. This film sticks to that rule and I loved every second we spent on the sets and with the actual Xenopmorph. The film answers the many questions of the creature and adds new lore by showing you more about the Xenomorph and I felt like a student in the best way. Like I said before, the practical effects are on point, but the use of CGI for a certain character in the film was great for the lore, but sticks out like a sore thumb. It works visually, but it looks bad compared to the rest of the work in the film. Director Fede Álvarez has been one of my favorite horror director's since his gnarly 2013 Evil Dead and he brought that same quality of brutality and excellence to this newest entry of the beloved franchise. This was truly one of the best Alien films in a long time and I can't recommend it enough. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[nightmare-kisser]

Let's not forget gore and horror practical effects too, famously like Evil Dead 2 and Alien.

Puppets. Animatronics. Monster makeup on actors. Fun stop-motion or clever angles. Can't find the gif, but the scene of the corpse rapidly decomposing always fascinated me. Then there is Alien, and how shocked audiences were by how the original chest burster and milky android looked, and still look to this day.

There is something about the practical effects choice especially to make blood or bodily fluids the "wrong color", not red but white, or green like for the xenomorphs, and having it physically there and everywhere that is so disgusting. Cgi fluids look strange and I watched a video about recreating the blood hallway in The Shining and how it isn't the same, could never be the same.

Practical effects stand out and last. But practical effects engineers have a labor union, and Hollwood doesn't have a union for cgi and can outsource cgi to any animation company or studio in the world they want, so it's cheaper and easier for them to just use cgi for everything. And yes, like the post above says, cgi is well and good if it spares the actors or stunt doubles a painful or terrifying effect, like pyrotechnics or steam/smoke or something else harmful. But the rest? The rest is so textural because it's really there, the light plays with it better because it's physically there, the visuals make you sqiurm because it's actually there. And in my opinion, practical effects are better than cgi especially for horror. Cgi can do funky uncanny things, but practical effects can make you gag.

Marvel movies have completely eliminated the concept of practical effects from the movie-watching public’s consciousness

[saucy-mesothelioma]

out of any horror movie you’ve seen with monster villains which one would you say has the best design out of any of them (and the term monster that i’m using is any type of creature that doesn’t resemble a human outside of walking on two legs)

I hope you weren't expecting a short answer because boy do I have several. And since I'm a slut for practical effects, the majority of these are done practically. Strap in, because here we go.

First up are the Killer Klowns from Killer Klowns from Outer Space!

These funky fellas are from an underrated horror classic that's such a fun watch oh my god it is so off the walls. They were achieved with puppets and animatronics that were designed by the legendary Chiodo Brothers, with the animatronics being built by Dwight Roberts. Even though this is often considered a B-movie, the design and mechanics are genuinely so incredible and are so overlooked in my opinion. They're creepy as all getout, and are honestly pretty fuckin terrifying to watch. Fuck Pennywise (not really, Tim Curry's Pennywise is fantastic), these boys were the og horror movie clowns.

Next, the Tarman from Return of the Living Dead

Believe it or not, this movie is where the idea of zombies eating brains comes from. It also doesn't get that much attention nowadays, so I'm happy to give it some well-deserved recognition. The suit was designed by production designer Bill Stout, built by effects artist Bill Munns, and and worn by the 6'2 actor/puppeteer Allen Trautman. To achieve the melting flesh look, hot melted vinyl was poured onto sheets of aluminum foil and then attached it to the suit in layers, finishing things off by covering it in goo before each take.

The Cenobites from Hellraiser are up next!

I'll only be talking about the og gang here, but there are several newer Cenobites that also have some damn fine designs (haven't seen the 2022 film but holy hell I love those designs). I could go on and on about the practical effects in this movie, especially Frank Cotton's resurrection because oh my fucking god the effects in that scene are beautiful, but I'll keep my focus on these fine freaks. We have the Lead Cenobite aka Pinhead (Doug Bradley), Female Cenobite aka Deepthroat (Grace Kirby), Butterball (Simon Bamford), and Chatterer (Nicholas Vince) who were designed by Clive Barker himself and lead make-up artist Bob Keen, and were brought to life by the make-up team at Image Animation and costume designer Jane Wildgoose. I also want to call to attention to Frank (Cotton) the Monster, who was played by Oliver Smith, because the various stages of reconstruction are genuinely fantastic.

Up next on the roster, The Moder from The Ritual

She's the first of only two mainly CGI monsters that I have on this list, but I fell in love with her design the second I saw her. She was created by director David Bruckner and concept artist Keith Tompson who took inspiration from Norse mythology, specifically a Jötnar clan of giants that were known as shape-shifters that sometimes combined human and animal qualities. This quote from Bruckner honestly sums up my feelings on the Moder's vibes perfectly: "How would you obfuscate the difference between animal and human, and how could an animal form read with a human intelligence?” Although she is primarily animated with CGI, a physical model for reference and some prosthetics were made courtesy of Russell Efx for when the Moder interacted with the actors. The Moder is a fuckin queen in my book <3

Next up is another eldritch queen, Jean Jacket from Nope

JJ is the only other CGI monster on this list, but she's Jean fuckin Jacket just LOOK at her (ironically). The plot twist of Jean Jacket being the alien itself and not the spaceship was such a wonderful one; I can still remember the audible "oh shit" I let out when it was revealed. She was designed by Peele and his team with the help of Caltech professor John O. Dabiri and was based on various sea creatures (primarily a jellyfish) in the way she moves and eats her prey, with other inspirations being the 10th Angel from Neon Genesis Evangelion, biblical descriptions of angels, Robert Mapplethorpe's orchid photographs, and apparently Marilyn Monroe's dress. Guillaume Rocheron worked with the team for JJ's CGI as well as for the practical effect of the dust whenever JJ flies too close to the ground. A fun fact I also love about the creation of Jean Jacket is that researcher Kelsi Rutledge actually created a scientific manuscript for JJ that would hold up to academic standards. It has everything from details about JJ's anatomy and behavior to a goddamn scientific name (Occulonimbus edoequus).

This one is a recent hyperfixation of mine, but it's one I love dearly: the Graboids from Tremors!

Thank you Zoran Gvojic for introducing me to this beautiful film; I couldn't be more grateful. The graboids were designed by Tom Woodruff Jr and Alec Gillis and this film was actually the first one their company Amalgamated Dynamics worked on. The design was based off of snapping turtles, slugs, and rhinos, and were completely done with practical effects in the first film (although CGI with some practical effects would be used to varying levels in the later films). Since the graboids were so large, quarter scale models were seamlessly blended with full scale ones in order to get all of the shots they wanted, as well as a mixture of animatronics and puppets. Tom Woodruff Jr actually puppeteered the full sized graboid named Stumpy from underground, with only an oxygen tank and flashlight down there with him. What a fucking king.

Also I just wanted to include this picture of Michael Gross with some graboid tongues because I like it

And last, but could never could possibly be least

John Carpenter's The Thing, my beloved!!!!!!!!

To say that I adore The Thing and its creature designs is the understatement of the century. My partner can attest that I am completely feral about this movie I love it so much. It's thanks to special effects artist Rob Bottin that we were blessed with these absolutely incredible designs, which were made with latex and foam rubber which were then covered in creamed corn, strawberry jam, mayo, and KY Jelly. Bottin spent 10 days with Norris's actor with Charles Hallahan creating different torsos, facial expressions, and even body hair patterns for Norris's transformation. Fake arms were created with wax bones, gelatin flesh, and rubber veins and hydraulic jaws were made to rip a torso in half. This movie is full of marionettes, prosthetics, hydraulics, and puppetry, and if I had to choose my favorite horror movie I would choose this movie

[iron234]

more weird and wacky and interesting music videos (hasnt watched any music video outside of weird wacky and interesting ones)

ideally something like the music video for in the end. put people on a greenscreen get some funky 3d models mixed with physical sets. looking like that kinda cgi right. get a whale flying around and all that more silly practical effects in things too. those are awesome ALSO 2d animation mixed with 3d and real footage mixed with 2d animation. like gorillaz or somethign.

[aceofthegreenajah]

Wheel takes episode 8: what they lost due to covid. I vibe with Ali so hard on this which is why included her reactions and not just the facts.

Gus: Here are the things that we know they lost as a result or indirectly as a result due to covid happening before they filmed episode 8. We've spoken about this, after episode 6 they had to stop down production, picked it up like 7 months later, I believe?

Ali: It's a long time.

Gus: They had to rewrite the episode, having lost: Barney Harris as Mat Cauthon.

Ali: Oh my god.

Gus: A major character who presumably was supposed to have major script elements and a major plotline within that episode.

Ali: This is why I got so stressed watching that last episode, I was like 'oh my god oh my god it's so stressful'. Sorry, I'm just stressed for them all the time.

Gus: Every single practical trolloc stunt actor.

Ali: What?

Gus: Every single practical trolloc stunt actor -

Ali: I didn't even know that!

Gus: -could not come back.

Nathan: What a fucking nightmare.

Gus: That entire battle sequence, which presumably had a lot of practical arena-fight elements, would have been filmed with prosthetic trolloc actors, was instead CG:d.

Ali: *groan*

Gus: On about, I don't know, three months' notice? They had to completely redo all of that.

Ali: You're kidding me.

Gus: The location where they were going to film the blight.

Ali: *muffled into her hands* They lost a location?

Gus: Blight was going to be filmed in I believe the canary islands. It was an organic, actual place, with funky looking nature and trees -

Ali: *still muffled* I'm about to start crying.

Gus: They were going to fly to the canary islands, film the blight there because they thought it looked cool, covid happened, international travel shut down. Instead they built that - I think they built that in like two months. So. Those are the things that we know they lost.

Ali: Give Rafe Judkins a nobel peace price for not absolutely losing his shit. Oh my- are you se- So the location had been scouted?

Gus: The location had been scouted and confirmed.

Ali: That is a person they hired - they spent money on the location already. They spent money on that person to scout the location for them. All of that has to be scrapped but they still have to pay all that shit. And then they have to build a set from scratch in three months? And they have to get rid of all their practical effects, hire someone to do cgi, have that cgi made in three months -

Gus: Reroute budget to cg for the climactic battle.

Ali: Budget they didn't have because they've spent it on all this other shit!

Gus: On top of that they had to budget money for covid compliance and covid officers.

Ali: Oh my god and that's a fucking nightmare.

Gus: To my recollection that can be as much as 10% of your actual budget right now.

Ali: Yeah.

[asking Nathan about covid stuff at theatre right now]

Ali: Well and something that we're seeing in tv right now is having to cast three actors for a part in case two of them get covid.

Gus: Or one of them gets covid and one of them gets a better job.

Ali: Yeah, exactly. So we'll call these people and we'll go - so you're on hold. Basically. But we can't stop them for going to look for other jobs because we're not paying them to be on hold. So we're having to cast three actors for one role. It's a nightmare.

Gus: Here's a practical example for that - I don't have confirmation for this, to my understanding this is a rumor, but a fairly substantiated rumor. The character of lord Yakota was originally cast, to my understanding, as lord Ingtar. Which, book readers may recognize that name. They had to stop down for covid, somewhere in that interim the actor who played lord Yakota was offered a larger part on another television show and took it, and they renamed his character lord Yakota. Because Ingtar is a recurring character, or a character who will appear later in the series. Yakota is a character they created for the show. But I guess they had already filmed or he had already signed a contract?

I'm gonna stop there but like Ali says a bit later: you have it all figured out, then a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic hits and you lose everything for your resolution episode? Yeah. The stress must be immense. I will miss what we could have had - all those three things we lost sound really cool - but I'm really impressed with them for still making an episode I really liked.

I'm gonna continue listening now.

[eruditegeek]

Oh, of course, Sierra, but be careful what you ask for~

*I pull you close and lay you in my lap. I start infodumping as I scratch your head and stroke your hair*

It came in six bags. The first bag was just the base and was pretty similar to the other diorama builds. Have you seen those? I really like the Dagobah one, but the trash compactor is also really cool. Well this one has a Qui-Gon quote on it that my childhood piggy bank said. It didn't store a lot of money though.

* At this point, I've started caressing your shoulders and tracing lines in your skin with my nails. You feel my touch all over and a tingle courses through you.*

Bag two was mostly just setting up the core of the rock wall in the back and doing some detail work on the ground. Behind the scenes stuff is nice, but it's usually pretty simple. Bag three was building out the wall and making it look rocky. That was fun to bring together. It was building a lot of separate panels and attaching them to the core. The canyon track was a composite of model practical effects, cgi rocks, and real-world shots from Tunisia. The course was built for the movie to fit a certain length. They added details and obstacles to make it interesting, but they also did time tests to see how many laps could be done in eight minutes at 900 km/h.

*You realize you can't get up. You can barely move. I'm not holding you down, but something is keeping you here. I am unaware or indifferent to your struggle. More focused on Star Wars.*

Bags four and five were Anakin and Sebulba's podracers. I enjoyed putting them together. They've got some nice detail for their scale and even had stickers. I'm not the best at putting them on straight, but I think they looked good. After the race, Qui-Gon sold Anakin's podracer, but I bet you didn't know that he sold it to Sebulba, who raced with it for a while. He eventually gave it to his son, who ended up racing it and crashing it against Anakin in an illegal race about halfway between Episode I and II.

*Are you still listening? Am I even still talking? It's almost as if you can feel the words just entering your mind. You're not sure where the lines between us are anymore. You've lost the desire to even struggle. Why fight how things have always been? It has always been like this, right?*

Bag six was building the rock arch on the left. It's offset and angled because it's on turntable pieces. That was fun. There was a time they would have frowned on that for being off "system" though now I see builds with interesting and slightly fucked up uses of pieces every once in a while. Cad Bane's ship The Justifier has a really funky engine detail where thin pieces are held between the circles of normal bricks.

*The image just manifests in your mind. Or is it my mind. Our mind? Flesh fused fascinatingly forever. I've finished talking about this set, but now I've sequed into another piece of Star Wars trivia. You relax and join the others within me. Maybe tomorrow I can get lost in you talking about something?*

Triumphant trans tummy tuesday y'all. Featuring my two newest LEGO babies. Built them on stream yesterday for way too long.

@catboybiologist @chloecat @dyke-pollinator @foucelhas1917 @glowingemberz @godless-of-the-hunt @lucyvaleheart @mallvisigoth2 @mellueminate @ne0ndawn @officiallordvetinari @phoenixgirlarsonist @quinn-sins @roman-noodlezz @sagasolejma @sylladextrous @virtualgirladvance @whalesharkcat

[stuckasmain]

Me: I hate most early 2000s horror remakes, sure they’re filmed in a better quality but everything is is typically worse. Practical effects for really cheap cgi jumpscares and whatever b-list celebrity of the week. They usually add little or add something that makes no sense or take away interesting concepts from the original…

Also me:

Except you you. You Can stay.

Lester Sinclair carries the entire house of wax remake and I’m tired of pretending he doesn’t.

He’s not even a killer he’s just a small country town guy ™️ , he’s funky. House of wax I can stand as a remake as it is so far removed from the original Vincent price movie you can treat it as it’s own thing. I loved it, apart from really all the teens? Young adults? As they are all exactly the people you want to see killed , except for Nick really…

[violenceenthusiast]

no but i truly think farscape is THEE underrated cult classic sci fi show. it’s got vibrant characters, masterful storytelling, inventive and thorough world building, unique concepts, evolving plot and interpersonal relationships, actions have consequences, redemption arcs, truly evil motherfuckers, practical effects prioritized over cgi, incredibly enticing will-they-won’t-they romance, character driven stories, creative looking aliens, funky soundscapes, value placed on life and love, AND like a third of the main cast is jim henson puppets!!!! and you don’t even notice because they’re so alive!!! anyway if you love me you’ll watch farscape

[b3grim3d]

[vibecheck] recommend the Me horror movies cause i watch the same things on repeat and then die

uhhh [flips though my memories like a magazine]

the ritual- is really good sets up fairly quickly its tone and reoccurring theme of remorse and guilt also like sdjfkds who doesnt like a horror movie featuring norse mythology

await further instructions- has a lot of similar vibes to the thing with parnoia and distrust with also some religious undertones in how things play out

i am mother- its a suspense sci fi more than like horror but sdjkfhjdcs its good

the collector- it was originally gonna be a saw prequel but decided against that so it got to be its own thing but the saw inspiration is still very much present but it doesnt feel like a saw clone and i can appreciate that [only warnings i have is a couple bug close ups and eye closes ups and the f slur is said a couple times in like one scene]

the collection- the collector got a sequel and its very funky and also tbh gave me inspo for uhhh cams behavior so like sdjkhfds take that for what you will

bride of reanimator- i hope the bride has a nice day [ah] its just a very good movie and has a shit ton of gore in it plus funny momence and its neat

slither- another horror comedy done very well and the practical effects are really good and like it does kinda rely on cgi quite a bit for its gore but theres something so personal about a movie that has parasitic slugs killiing people in a small town that make you ignore the cgi

the crazies- i havent seen this one yet but mr roanoke says its pretty good so sdjfkhds

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #375

Top Ten Games That Could be Films

Well. Sonic. That’s a thing, yeah? The last couple of weeks, when not consumed with Avengers-related news and emotions, have seen people on t’net talking about Sonic, and his weird human legs and nice set of teeth. It’s certainly an odd design, although I sympathise with the creatives involved, even the executives who (I’m presuming) were the driving force behind Sonic’s movie look, okaying what the artists and animators were producing and steering them towards something that, I’m sure, they thought would sell. It’s a tough business and, to paraphrase William Goldman, nobody really knows that much when you think about it.

Among the many think-pieces that have sprung up, however, there is one point I disagree with: that it’s pointless to adapt a game into a movie at all. Certainly there should be no attempt to “legitimise” a gaming property with a film adaptation; games are great and will always be great, as games. But there are games with an iconography, storyline, or set of characters that could translate into movies. As it happens, Sonic the Hedgehog is one such game. He’s instantly familiar both to old farts like myself who remember the nineties, and also to the young folk who will be the film’s target audience. As it happens, I think the rough plot of the film – Sonic and Robotnik enter the “real world” – is probably the best storyline to tell, rather than adapting the game’s plot; it gives us a recognisable world, allows for some A-list casting (Jim Carrey as Robotnik, James Marsden as Sonic’s human pal), and following on from the likes of Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Smurfs, Christopher Robin, et al, the notion of CGI characters interacting with humans is a familiar movie trope, so much so that it’s practically a sub-genre of kids’ films (and can end up getting lampooned in adult-oriented films such as Paul or Ted).

No, I think a much worse decision is to try to adapt a game’s plot; to straight-up cart it across from console to movie screen (or, if you’re watching it on DVD, from, er, Xbox to Xbox, I guess). The first generation of game adaptations were especially guilty of this, often trying to graft a more realistic plotline, with character motivations and whatnot, onto games where “story” should really be read as “objective”: Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Super Mario Bros, Doom, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Whilst some of those films still retain a goofy charm (I will go to bat for Street Fighter being an absolute camp delight), they’re not good, not really. Far better, in my opinion, to take an existing world, one with deep and familiar iconography, and tell stories within it: sort of what the Sonic movie is doing, which we can almost assume is in continuity with the previous games. The best example of this, I think, is Halo; there have been a number of shorts and TV series based on the Halo games, set in the same world, often serving as prequels to the games themselves. And whilst they rarely go beyond a spot of pulpy fun, they do feel of a part with the games themselves. What they don’t do is re-tell the story of the games, and in that, they succeed where other game adaptations have fallen down.

There are examples of games with strong storylines that could be adapted, I think, but they would need care and attention, and should avoid being straight-up ports of the games. Use the storylines, if strong enough, but feel free to chop and change to make it work on film.

Another thing that some games have going for them, that makes them difficult to translate into movies, is that they’re really just film adaptations anyway. I think this is why the Doom and Tomb Raider movies have been less successful than perhaps you’d think; Doom is a sci-fi horror film, not too far away from Aliens (and especially quite close, even though it pre-dated it, to Event Horizon); Tomb Raider is basically Indiana Jones with a woman. The same is true for Red Dead Redemption, which I’m sure has Hollywood types arranging meetings as we speak; it’s a blockbuster, a game with instant name-recognition, a built-in audience, and strong iconography. The problem is that iconography is adapted from dozens of Westerns from The Searchers to Unforgiven to Deadwood to Bone Tomahawk. Quite frankly, we’ve seen that before.

Anyway: here are ten games (or game franchises, I suppose) that I think could stand to be adapted. Some of them are strong stories, some of them are great worlds. Hollywood, feel free to get in touch.

The Secret of Monkey Island (1990): despite banging on about adapting worlds not stories, Monkey Island has a story worth adapting. Sure, it needs adapting, but it has characters, a beginning, middle, and end, and a world that could be seen on the big screen. Pirates of the Caribbean probably stole a bit of its thunder, but that franchise looks like it’s sinking at the moment (no pun intended), so doing a much wackier, almost ZAZ-style take on the pirate movie could be really good fun. My advice would be to put Guybrush and Elaine together for much of the narrative and give them some screwball dialogue.

Command and Conquer (1995): hear me out… the C&C games have a seam of mythology richer than a source of Tiberium, and could lend themselves to a sci-fi war epic. There are characters in there worth adapting – well, Kane, at least – and whilst the risk of it turning into a GI JOE movie is great, if they keep their tongue slightly in their cheek it could be a really good, fun action movie that harks back to ‘80s genre classics. I mean, the C&C cut-scenes are famously hammy, and whilst I don’t think they should quite dial it up to eleven, maybe keeping it a good seven or eight would be good fun. Also: Red Alert, which arguably is funnier (and funner, if that’s a word), but at the moment “comedy Russian bad guys” isn’t quite so benign a concept.

The Legend of Zelda (1986): either as an animation or live-action, I could definitely see a Zelda movie working. For a start, every game is sort of a reboot, a brand new story but still set in the same world as tropes, characters, and events repeat themselves. That means you could tell a story right from the start, drawing on the best plot elements and pieces of iconography from across multiple Zelda games, but it could still be in-continuity with the game series itself. A sprawling fantasy epic but skewing younger than the likes of Lord of the Rings, it could be an absolute winner. Like Monkey Island, I’d keep Link and Zelda together for much of the narrative, however.

Mass Effect (2007): this one might be cheating a bit, because I think there actually is a film in the works (I mean, there’s probably a film in the works for half of these games…). Also it might be cheating a bit because in this case, I don’t think you’d adapt it into a film, but rather a TV series. I’d adapt the story, roughly, but give it a direct narrative thrust. I think if it was a film you’d have to cut too much; it’d feel too propulsive, and risk becoming just another sci-fi action movie. But a series – maybe a 12-episode Netflix affair or something, with a big budget – could allow room to linger, to have the odd episode go off on a tangent to explore the Geth or Rachni or whatever. I’d also look at both men and women for the lead, and cast whoever was best, in a nod to the gender choices of the game itself.

Fable (2004): this is one where I think it’s the world rather than the plot that’s worth adapting: a fun, almost Python-esque version of a fictional fairy-tale Britain. A new recruit to the Hero Academy who is trying to prove themselves whilst also battling Jack of Blades. I’d keep the humour and the bawdy tone, and add in characters from across the Fable series, making it much more of an ensemble. Arguably it’s the gameplay and the emergent storytelling that’s part of Fable’s charm, but I do really think there’s enough there to hang an adult comedy fantasy film on.

Duke Nukem 3D (1996): this is one that could go very badly, but I still think there’s potential. Duke Nukem as a character is a boor, an oaf, a misogynistic pig, a relic of a bygone age worth forgetting. Whilst I think exploring this character in a contemporary setting would be more interesting in a game (especially as you could explore the twenty-year-old gameplay differences, too), you could use Duke as an avatar of the ‘80s, almost, to critique action cinema of years gone by. A washed-up sexist dinosaur who has to be pulled out of retirement, I’d cast an older actor with some comedy chops but also a solid physical pedigree: maybe even Arnie?! You’d have to be careful that if you had a redemption arc for him you didn’t end up justifying the crassness of the original game, however.

Another World (1991): this is one where it’s the world and the style that’s the key, although there’s a vague enough story there to adapt. A scientist is transported to, literally, another world, and has to survive, ending up joining a slave rebellion. The game is all funky graphics and cool gameplay (by 1991 standards, at least), but with the right director you could transfer that brilliantly to the screen, and it allows enough room to explore the psychological effects on Lester Chaykin. One of the things I really like about the game, is that unlike other human-transported-to-alien-world storylines, Lester is way out of his depth; he’s not a superhero, not a revolutionary. He is battered by the elements, hunted by animals, imprisoned, beaten, and ultimately (spoiler alert) saved by one of the aliens. You’d have to keep this element of the game to avoid it feeling like too much of a cliché.

BioShock (2007): this one might be a bit more conventional, and risk being another Doom-style adaptation of a game, trying to follow a story that’s more about gameplay than literary flourish. But there is something there, I think; for one, there’s the steampunk aesthetic of a decaying underwater 1940s utopia, all art-deco and brass, the outside world rushing in and laying waste to such finery. There’s the philosophical discussion at the heart of BioShock, giving filmmakers something interesting to hang it all on. There’s the horror element: the creepy Little Sisters, the shock-horror Splicers, the terrifying Big Daddies. Finally, there’s the twist, which – I’m gonna be honest here – would not work anywhere near as well in a film, but all the same, it’s a twist. It is, perhaps, the most vanilla of the options I’ve laid out here, but I’d still like to see it.

Jet Set Willy (1984): there are quite a few relatively obscure (compared to, say, God of War) 1980s games that could make good films. The first Maniac Miner; Skool Daze; Dizzy. But I’ve plumped for the surrealism of Jet Set Willy. Picture it: cast someone who broke through in the ‘80s – Pierce Brosnan, Richard E. Grant, Adrian Edmondson – and get someone like Danny Boyle or Edgar Wright to direct. The tale of a drunken gone-to-seed former celebrity who starts out trying to clean himself up after one party too many – possibly in some vain attempt at a comeback – only for the film to just get crazier and crazier as he ventures deeper into his bizarre stately home, discovering hidden treasures, secret rooms, occult shenanigans, and much more. Is it “real”? Is he losing his mind? A freakish, twisty, deeply surreal black comedy ensues. It’d probably make no money but be a cult classic!

Worms (1995): most of these I’ve imagined as being live-action, often big-budget affairs; Hollywood blockbusters. But who’s to say we can’t adapt a game into a cartoon? Certainly, it’s been done before, and with degrees of success: obviously on TV, but there’s also the Angry Birds movie, which I’ve not seen and which doesn’t strike me as being overly impressive, but which was clearly a big enough deal to warrant a sequel. There’s an animated Mario movie in the works, animated Pokémon has been a staple for twenty years, and there are those who’d argue that animation was a better route for Sonic, too. So why not apply that logic to Worms, a great British success story? There could be different clans of Worms warring over a piece of land (perhaps a garden that, from their view, is an epic battlefield); that would allow the different Worm voices to come into play. But something means they have to unite for a common cause. Inject it with a dose of British humour, a splash of surrealism, and a some satirical social commentary, and you’re onto a winner.

There you are. Seemingly-obvious suggestions like Metal Gear, Gears of War, or Half-Life I have quietly shifted to one side, and other adventure games with good stories (Grim Fandango, Thimbleweed Park, Life is Strange) I sort of feel had their box ticked by Monkey Island. But somewhere in this list I’m convinced there’s at least one great, great film. In the meantime, I’m off to see Detective Pikachu. Who knows? Perhaps that will be the film that breaks videogaming’s cinematic duck (or at least Psyduck).

[daanfilm]

Barbara the Fair with the Golden Hair

BARBARA THE FAIR WITH THE GOLDEN HAIR * 1970 * (Varvara-krasa, dlinnaya kosa) * Directed by Alexander Rou * 85 minutes 

Despite what people in the West think, back in some parts of the Soviet Union things were getting pretty funky in the 1960s. In terms of cinema there was an entire genre called "Soviet fantasies" that were literally out of this world. They had a crazed psychedelic aesthetic and baffling twists and turns, even though they were based on stories by past Russian writers like Nikolai Gogol.

This one was directed by a filmmaker with a very un-Russian sounding last name—Rou—and that's because his father was Irish and his mother was a Greek gypsy. He made a huge contribution to this weird film movement that feels very close to puppetry in its outlandish explosion of fairy-tale scenarios. They featured live actors mixed with props, puppets, masks, practical effects and elaborate costumes. Entire worlds were created with glittering surfaces and surreal set designs, and everything was crafted with imagination. These movies felt mystical, and were shot in a style close to technicolor extravaganzas.

Based on an early 19th century folk tale, this story takes place in an underwater world, where there is a struggle for power involving kidnappings and a young woman named Barbara who wants to break the rules. The aesthetics are astounding... both brilliantly high camp, and uncomfortably dark and creepy at other times. We enter a fantastique world that isn't frozen and regulated like our own, but rather a realm where transformation is possible. We have birds with human faces, and people who can change at will into animals like mice or little dogs.

This is the kind of stuff that engages your imagination in ways that CGI can't even dream of. So let's dive deep into another existence, filled with magic,  possibilities, a crazy sense of humor, and a mind-boggling sense of poetry.

[mst3kproject]

Conquest

This movie has long been something I wish MST3K would have tackled, but I figured they never would because there are simply too many gratuitous boob shots in it.  Imagine my delight, then, when Avalanche introduced us to the Titty Drones!  I imagine they'd get a hell of a workout from this one... perhaps in a host sketch they'd end up lying exhausted on the table while Jonah and the bots sing a song to inspire them to carry on.  Other than that, the movie is just one long, foggy, dubbed, what the fuck am I watching sword-and-sorcery experience with Jorge Rivero (yep, Yuri from Werewolf) as our hero.  Bring it on.

A young man named Ilias has decided to set out on a quest.  The wise old elder of his people gives him the Bow of Kronos, which can shoot arrows of light, and off he goes in search of some Hero Stuff that needs doing.  Y'know, monsters to slay, maidens to save, that kind of thing.

I did not alter that screencap.  That is what the movie actually looks like.

Anyway, he arrives in a country in the thrall of a topless brain-eating sun goddess named Ocron and her army of coke-snorting wolf-men (I swear to you I could not make this up if I tried). In a drug-induced vision, Ocron sees herself being shot by a faceless hero wielding a laser bow, and decides she'd really better nip that in the bud.  Her first attempt to ambush Ilias is foiled by the wandering barbarian Mace, who wants the magical bow and needs Ilias to teach him how to use it.  The two become fast friends – indeed, Ilias is the first friend Mace has ever had in his life, so when Ocron finally succeeds in killing the kid, Mace decides to take up his cause and avenge him.

There is an awful lot of nudity in this movie.  Even with the titty drones, they would still have to make some deep cuts to get PG-13 out of it, and Jonah would probably face some awkward questions from Crow and Tom.  The nudity ranges from the very matter-of-fact to the extremely leering, and weirdly most of the latter is saved for the villainess.  The camera lingers on her nipples and groin as she writhes in the throes of precognition, while a phallic snake crawls up her abdomen.  Yikes. Elsewhere, other topless women appear to be completely incidental. A scene in which a near-naked girl is torn to pieces by the wolf-men is much more about the absurdly artsy violence than the nudity.

There is an equally shocking amout of fog.  Not a single frame of this movie appears to be fog-free.  I think it's supposed to create atmosphere.  Mostly it just makes me want to clean my glasses over and over like I’m searching for Robert Denby.

As thick as it is, the fog cannot disguise just how much the movie's visuals suck.  Ocron's army of werewolves are on the same believability level as bear-headed Ivan from Jack Frost, and leap from above like the cavemen in Starcrash. Mace's bird friends look like if Birdemic had used terrible puppets instead of terrible CGI, and make the same sound.  Night-time is represented by a blue filter so intense it looks like we're filming through jell-o and the exact same colour is used for an underwater scene.  One entire sequence takes place in pitch blackness, and all we hear are monster noises.

And that's not even getting into what these crummy effects are depicting. Angry grass, swamp zombies, a caveman nunchaku fight, chirping cocoon-people... every time you think you've seen the weirdest possible thing, Conquest throws you another curve.  Mace's long hair and the angular symbol tattooed on his forehead look like they're supposed to remind us of Charles Manson, but I can't imagine for what purpose.  There are loving close-ups of oozing pustules covered with flies.  The laser-arrows look like something out of Tron. The music falls somewhere in between 'funky disco' and '80's mellow synth'.  It's all so weird.

You can enjoy the movie purely on that 'wtf' level.  It's especially fun to show it to friends and watch their facial expressions as the movie piles oddity upon oddity.  But if you want something to think about, this movie is actually full of themes and commentary!  Mostly, it's looking at the 'hero's journey' motif and pointing out the weaknesses in it, but there's also an element of Greek tragedy, in that it's impossible for Ocron to escape her fate even when she's the most powerful woman in the world.

Ilias sets out on his quest with no specific goal in mind.  It seems as if he wants to be a hero, but he hasn't yet settled on a heroic deed – he'll take whatever comes his way.  His first attempt at a 'heroic' act is saving a girl from being bitten by a snake, and then he pouts when she laughs at him and runs away, rather than sticking around for the kissing he assumed would follow.  Then, once the action begins, we quickly find that Ilias is terrible at heroing.  He gets his butt kicked by Ocron's trolls, and Mace has to save him.  It is Mace who finds them a way out of the cave when they are lost and trapped, and Mace who goes to find healing herbs when Ilias is poisoned.

This is all totally understandable, though – Ilias is in a strange place, and has no idea where he's going or what he'll do when he gets there.  Although he's a good shot with his bow, he has no combat experience and growing up in peaceful agricultural society has not prepared him to survive in this wilderness of lawless hunter-gatherers.  When Mace warns him that Ocron and her goons are more than he can possibly handle, it seems like he has a good point, and Ilias eventually comes to think so as well.  There is a point when he nearly turns back, actually getting on a boat and setting off for home.

The moment of lost hope is a common part of the hero's journey story.  As the Death Star prepares to fire on Yavin IV, it seems that the Rebellion will be unable to destroy it in time.  The Fellowship of the Ring is nearly broken by the death of Gandalf.  Moana tries to throw the Heart of Te Fiti back into the sea.  In all of these stories, this moment is followed by a turn as the characters find a source of inspiration: Luke hears Obi-Wan's voice telling him to use the Force, and is able to destroy the Death Star.  Aragorn urges everybody to continue on to Lothlorien, where they can rest and regroup.  The spirits of Moana's ancestors show her what she has already accomplished and give her the strength to try again.  Ilias, too, remembers his original goals – vague as they were – and turns back, arriving just in time to take care of the cocoon-people who have crucified Mace and thrown him off a cliff.

Yet even this is kind of a failure, as Ilias is unable to save Mace from downing in the ocean at the cliff bottom.  Instead, friendly dolphins come to Mace’s rescue (in yet another what the fuck moment), and shortly thereafter Ilias is killed by a cave monster! The Callow Youth ultimately fails to defeat the great evil, and it happens because he is a Callow Youth.  Mace, who is rougher and tougher and used to looking after himself in this country, ultimately succeeds because he has the skills and experience Ilias lacks!

Meanwhile, Ocron's own fate is as coldly inevitable as that of Oedipus in Sophocles' play.  As the story begins, she and Ilias have never even heard of each other.  When one of her minions mentions her by name, Ilias doesn't know what he's talking about and has to ask Mace. Ocron herself never even learns Ilias' name, always simply calling him 'the Wanderer'.  She sets out to kill him not because he has actually caused her any trouble, but because her visions tell her that he will in the future.  Yet it is Ocron's attempts to get rid of Ilias before he can threaten her that first bring her to his attention and make him a threat, when he decides this is the great heroic task he's been chosen for.

But Ilias is not the one who defeats Ocron – his death, instead, spurs on Mace to kill her, and this fulfils another aspect of the prophecy.  For one thing, Mace is far more of a 'wanderer' than Ilias is.  Ilias comes from a settled society and intends to return there when his task is done.  Mace, on the other hand, is some kind of outlaw, with the mark on his forehead to denote that he is 'everybody's enemy'. He has wandered for many years and sees no end to it.  Ocron's prophecy is entirely self-fulfilling, and as in Oedipus Tyrannus, it is the efforts to avoid it that make it come true.  She even has a harmatia, a single mistake that seals her doom.  When we look at her visions in light of the ending, we recall that the warrior she saw had no face. It is, instead, the bow of Kronos that is fated to kill her.  Her fatal error was focusing on the wielder rather than the weapon!  

There's way more I could talk about here.  I could go into more detail about how the film uses Ocron's nudity to dehumanize her, covering her face and nothing else. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about the homoerotic love story between the two heroes and its derivation from the Greek tradition of erastes and eromenos (the names in the story, Ilias, Kronos, Ocron, are almost all either Greek-derived or just intended to ‘sound Greeky’). I could contrast their positive philia with the film's negative depiction of eros as embodied in Ocron. I could boggle over the fact that Mace uses strangers as target practice or wince at Ilias shooting trolls in the crotch.  Conquest is as endlessly fascinating as it is endlessly weird.  I'm pretty sure Lucio Fulci failed at whatever it was he was trying to do with the movie, but man, he failed with style.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Right?

Movies with practical effects still look funky even after decades have passed...while bad CGI from only five years ago has aged worse than Anne Coulter

Thirty One Days of Horror Movies! Day 23 :D

I feel like the title of this film gives a pretty fair idea of what the plot is >.>

After being attacked by a beast while holidaying with his friend in England, a young American tourist quickly finds out that while he might have survived his problems are far from over…and he’s now cursed to become a wolf on the night of the full moon and seek fresh victims

The film boasts some great practical effects work that I think has really stood the test of time, some great moments of black comedy to go with the horror and gore and also has what I think is one of the most genuinely horrifying werewolf transformation scenes ever done