#funny The Magnus Archives

[jeena-says-hi]

WAIT DID THEY REFERENCE THIS MEME??

[passer-ine]

[pronounced-like-the-drink]

season 1: I'm Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of Magnus Institute, London. My professional opinion is that this is all horseshit and everyone that isn't me needs psychiatric help. Statement ends.

season 2: Supplemental: God lives inside the printer and he keeps telling me my assistants are murderers. I am inclined to believe him based on the fact that Martin told to have a nice day. Innately suspicious behavior.

season 3: My only friends are my ex-girlfriend, her cat, and the many scars I've gotten from various monsters and fear cultists.

season 4: You know, just being socially adept would solve a lot of my problems. Unfortunately, I was traumatized so thoroughly by age eight that I learned the best way to make friends is to blink at them slowly until they get the idea. This does not work when your evil patron god uses eyeballs to devour fear.

season 5: Either Jonah Magnus tells us where he took all the good cows, or my boyfriend and I bash his head in with a lead crowbar. It's his choice.

[carryondrawing]

An alternate universe where The Archivist forgets to top up his oyster card and misses the train

[ultramarinaa]

“Oh my god I ALSO HATE ME!! We should like… go on a date and kiss since we have so much in common”

After my 2 week hiatus I come back and I humbly bring you this

[shrews-art]

Consequences of brutal pipe murder I guess 😔

[ambar-telumendil]

Seriously, no one done this yet???

[poorlemons]

another part of an ask request . I was taken with such vivid imagery of Michael eating a Leitner, despite that absolutely not being a thing it probably can do. I don't care, he's eating that book

[clawfootcoffin]

gertie and gerry :3

[wolfythewitch]

Statement begins

[jeena-says-hi]

Elias and Peter sending emails to each other:

[pineconnie]

Fave martin blackwood things:

- lied about a MASTERS in PARAPSYCHOLOGY in his cv. why did he choose such a niche study like how many jobs could that even get you (EDIT I now know what a CV is and that he’s not telling every job he has a masters sorry guys I’m very jobless 🙏)

- writes the most terrible poetry you’ve ever heard (said with love) and plays background music while recording it onto a tape recorder for the vibes

- when encountering a terrifying worm lady that tries to add you to her flesh hive, he MAKES SURE to keep some of her worms just so he can stick it in his bosses face

-the rudest guy in the world (said boss) does one nice thing for him that he didn’t expect and he immediately falls in love (this is real to me ok let me have this)

-wears video game shirts to work

-goes on rants about spiders importance to the ecosystem to a guy with the worst arachnophobia ever

-hides CO2 cans so that ‘the worms don’t find it’

-forces his boss to go on lunch dates with him so he doesn’t completely lose it to paranoia

-walked into his bosses office, found a DEAD BODY THAT WAS DEFINITELY MURDERED, and all he says is “oh jon 😕😕”

-has practically the same reaction later on when someone tells him his boss compelled them to relive their worst trauma

-gets told the guy he’s been in love with for multiple years treats him horribly and goes “yeah and”

-outsmarted an avatar of the lonely despite being in a horrible depressive episode with no contact to anyone else

-manages to make peter fully believe he’s dedicated to the lonely even as his crush of many many years is practically confessing his love at every interaction

s5 martin is my favourite id need a whole extra post for him loml

[niinnyu]

I humbly request another silly Gerry (my husband.)

Peak silly Gerry, methinks.

[saragrosie]

Sketching while streaming s5...

Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)

Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:

(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)

[a-home-to-what-consumes-me]

TMA: A swear? I might be an eldritch monster, but that is unacceptable. We aren’t here “effing” and “jeffing” like a common street harlot! This is the Institute, dammit! We have decorum!

Malevolent: ARTHUR YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH

[saewokhrisz]

sometimes i think im funny

og under cut