#funny thing is i havent even started this dlc i just like the way this dude looks and the edgy shit i saw him say in a youtube video

[grozen]

the fire around me

[veeranger]

Vee’s Steam Summer Sale 2023 Recommendations

as always these are just personal opinions etc etc please look up some real reviews before buying a game if you aren’t sure and remember that steam will give you a full refund if you have less than 2 hours played in under 2 weeks.

im going to try to recc stuff i havent shilled every 6 months for the last 5 years but the VNs are going to be the same as always honestly

Fighting Games

Guilty Gear -Strive- Ultimate Edition 2022 ($55.99)

yes im specifically saying buy ultimate edition because it has all the dlc as of this writing. buy the base version if you want but i hate playing fighting games with incomplete rosters.

anyway this is my favorite fighting game, bar none. this is the game that after years of screwing around on a bunch of other games finally got me to really want to get better and actually play against other people. there’s a super active playerbase and at least another year of support from arcsys on the way. the best time to start playing strive was a year ago but the second best time is right now.

Idol Showdown (Free)

yes im shilling a free game here. idol showdown is a good fighting game and the result of like three years of hard work from a small team. try it out and give them some love

Nitroplus Blasterz: Heroines Infinite Duel ($4.99)

this is not a good game but it is a funny game. saber is in it.

Narrative Games

AI: The Somnium Files - $7.99

one of the finest mystery games you can play imo. maybe uchikoshi’s best work. a perfect blend of mystery, character, and style. every character and conversation is compelling in its own way and every little thing builds up to the huge moments which makes them all feel totally earned. as always uchikoshi is a genius in the way he blends his signature branching timeline style with the themes and core concepts of the game. the twists and turns this game goes down are so crazy that weeks later you’ll still be realizing how all the little things you thought were just quirks were actually foreshadowing. cannot recc this enough tbh.

Zero Escape: The Nonary Games - $11.99

another uchikoshi joint, also extremely good. ive only finished 999, the first game in this collection, but i can recc it just based on the strength of that alone. whereas somnium is a murder mystery, 999 is a visual novel about being trapped in a murder game interspliced with escape room segments. whatever you think you know you dont, 999 will take you down so many twists and turns you’ll be fucking dizzy when you’re done with it. big recc.

VA-11 HALL-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action - $10.04

i could probably talk about this game for as long as the others, even though its way way less complex. va-11 hall-a doesnt have a huge sweeping story with insane twists and massive reveals, but what it does have is an extremely personal narrative about loss, healing, and just living your life the best way you can in a horrible dystopian world. the cast of characters feel utterly real and you learn about the world they inhabit through interactions with them, rather than being infodumped by exposition. everyone has their own story and everyone is just trying to get by, including you. one of the best small scale personal narrative games ive ever played.

Night In The Woods - $9.99

another vn i would consider “small scale” but equally as impactful. nitw is a story about a disillusioned and struggling college drop out returning to her economically declining home town. nobody is secure, nobody is happy, everyone is suffering through their daily lives. you follow mae as she struggled to readjust to her childhood home and the people she left behind. until something happens that changes her priorities radically. all ill say. despite how i just made it sound, nitw is not all depressing. theres lighthearted moments and wacky days to cut through the bleak fog, as well as genuinely heartfelt moments that feel very earned. nitw is a game i think that everyone struggling through their 20s should play.

Grim Fandango Remastered ($3.79)

i know this is an old school adventure game and you might yell at me for sort of grouping it in with the VNs but i dont care. its a classic, its a beautiful game, everyone should play it. its old, it controls like shit, the puzzles are obtuse, but the experience is wonderful and memorable. its cheap as hell just go for it.

Action

Assault Spy ($4.99)

this goofy ass game is fun as hell. its a very dmc style character action with upgrades and moves to buy, and it actually has a pretty goddamn good mechanical system in place. the gameplay loop rules. only warning is this is not well optimized so watch your computer doesnt explode.

Marvel’s Spider-Man Remastered ($40.19)

i shouldn’t even have to shill. a must play for any spider-man fan. one the best spider-man stories ever hands down. such an incredible experience seriously. i cant even say enough here, if you haven’t played this yet you should do it asap.

Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales ($33.49)

everything i just said for the first game goes here too. a MUST play for miles morales fans. the combat is even better than the first too. you won’t regret playing this trust me.

Marvel’s Avengers - The Definitive Edition ($5.99)

no i’m not joking. ok well i kind of am but this game is getting delisted in september. it is an unforgivably mid piece of shit but if you have an interest in game preservation or playing something so bad they’re killing it forever, well here it is. they made all the microtransactions free btw.

Others

Tinykin ($13.75)

its like pikmin but its legally distinct! i like this game a lot, it has a very cute art style and its got easy to enjoy gameplay. i find it very relaxing. there’s a demo.

System Shock 2 ($2.49)

i will never stop shilling this game. fucking play it. its a cornerstone of video games. one of the most influential pieces ever put to pixel. you owe it to yourself to experience this if you feel any interest in it. maybe read a guide though its unforgiving if you screw around with your build.

Dead Space [2023] ($41.99)

exceptionally good. i dont have to shill the old shitty pc port of the original anymore. an A+ remake, i think it improves on the original in every conceivable way.

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night ($11.99)

such a goddamn good metroidvania. its almost like the platonic ideal of a castlevania game. a true spiritual successor to SOTN. this isnt your dime a dozen soulslike vania, this is a true vania game in the best original style made by basically one of the core founders of the genre.

STAR WARS™ Knights of the Old Republic™ II - The Sith Lords™ ($3.49)

its a fuckin classic rpg. one of the best of the era. get it on pc so you can get that extended content mod they promised to import to the console version and then cancelled.

Save Room - Organization Puzzle ($2.09)

this is just a cute puzzle game. i like it.

[fetabathwater]

would llonvyne ever have a family? kids, partner, pet dragon? or does that depend on the vampirism and super charged daedra soul?

ive actually been debating inflicting her with the woe of child/ren but also demiprince type bc who knows whaddahell is going on there. smth smth stop fucking around and finding out with daedric princes etc etc. but yeah like. idk. i genuinely havent thought much further ahead than kind of mentally spacing out each campaign/dlc/thing that is going on in her life, kind of picking up npcs that i think kind of clicked in some way with dialogue and llon. she has inadvertently managed to become a mother hen to a number of young murderous teens/young adults, but like i dont think of it as 'mothering' more like. hm. i dont wanna classify it as being all 'big sister' energy either that i guess is stereotyped into expectation. she's there, she'll help, she is going on her own way but she'll keep in touch if ur bird manages to find her and deliver the letter? or eventually she'll return to her home and read everything back.

like idk with also definitely running with being a silencer and . ok forgot the title u receive in thieves but like. busy ms llony. also llon is doing things on her own time, and yeah like. theres the vampirism which was fun when she was like. idk. 200 or w/e but now shes like 400 or smth if you count the forced slumber i forgot what yr i said she was born, and she's tired and not sure how it works with a supercharged soul gem and like 40 kinds of blessings and curses from daedric princes, and azura and meridia kind of trying to drag her left and right and she's also still getting sea sick which is so weird like. also almalexia is there and vivec city still isnt built and also time travel exists but this could be a dragon break all along?

llon publishes a memoir but then turns out the dragon break ends and it doesnt exist LMAO

and then like i think it would be so funny if she was nerevarine. like idk how committed i am to it of course but the fucking. shit hitting the fan for her that literally no god will let her die???? flipping off the elder scrolls and also that rly cool idea ppl were rolling around of nerevarine steadily looking more chimer vs dunmer as everything progressed. also cool. but thats also like. another era away for her.

BUT YEAH SORRY TO ANSWER THE QUESTION got sidetracked. idk about starting a family if not inadvertently like. not even just in a vamp thing and dunmer have a small amount of kids thing but i could only see it rly happening by accident and a 'hm. this shouldnt happen' weird shit or having a daedra spawn dropped in her arms. llon doesnt count anyone who didnt go to arkay priests to ask for a blessing and remove any possible vampirism after a night of necking. idk about her having a consistent partner, i did make an altmer/imperial looking just ur average roman citizen about to commit warcrimes who also was bit by lamae but i forgot to play them further:) might take them out for a spin and dress them up. then forget again.

[cerealmonster15]

How about Leo for that character thing?

ffffuck yes i have to put this one in a readmore bc i got carried away listing like 800 leo quotes 

How I feel about this characterhes one of my favorite royal sibs!!!!! probs tied with elise and takumi? or possibly my most fave?????? i was sad the whole time birthright bc i missed him and elise the whole time,,,, now that im playing conquest im sad bc i miss takumi lol. i love my tomato brother ;w; but he (and xander) is like the funniest fuckin character, oh my god. i love him so much. he makes me cry with laughter half the time he opens his mouth. hes this snarky little snob and he can’t dress himself for shit bc his clothes are always inside out or backwards (me too actually. every time i realize my shirt’s on wrong im instantly like Wow Leo Vibes). i love how in birthiright near the end theres this important emotional scene and hes gotten rid of iago and corrins like “hhhhey leo,,,? ur shirts inside out” and he just goes “DAMN IT.” his shop voice lines sound like a really sarcastic customer service voice. “Welcome. Goodbye~!”. so do xander’s??? i fucking die every time one of them is manning a shop oh my god i love themhis alts in feh make me s c r e a m hes so damn funny and dramatic.summer leo:“[grumbly voice] TANLINES… what, torture.”“If you are disappointed by these results then give me clothes”“Hot… beaches?hHHRRNNNNNN[aHEM], hate them.”“Tropical islands? Forget it! And this swimsuit? [snobby laughing tone] DONT even get me STARTED!”“Hey, if you like tropical islands, that’s fine. Maybe it’s not as bad as[randomly starts laughing???] I say.” like is he trying to be chill about it but just cant hold it together because the very idea of  a tropical idea is so absurd to him ?? hes so fuckign weird i love himGOD my ultimate favorite leo quote ever of all time tho is: “I actually like walking a beach at night. But… swim? In the ocean? [laughter, maybe nervous laughter i cant fucking tell] With my body?!?!???” WITH MY BODY?? i love him what the helland then he does that thing in the lvl40 five star convo where hes like “id be as red as a tomato if i got a sunburn???? fuck, how could i hate the sun if thats the case??? maybe ill go right now-” god hes so weird. i love that line regular leo does thats like “you’d never guess what vegetable really catches MY fancy! ………tomatoes…….”and then picnic leo omg. i probably screamed when i saw he was a free unit this spring i was SO HAPPY [as much as i love summer leo i dont actually have him and i cry that his banner hasnt returned this summer yet ;c]he grumbles when u poke him. he goes MMMMMM when you pick him up to take his turn. he complains about the sun, AGAIN.“i’m not used to this much sunlight! it’s…. nnggggg,,, blINDing..”“[offended voice] why are you being so SNEAKY? THIS is a PICNIC!” HhhhhhHHHHHH god lmao“[very proud voice] How does it taste? It must delicious, given I made it mySELF!” “What about this? I had my retainers prepare it for us.“ ik a lot of people say this contradicts his first line and one of them is a fucking lie, but i like to think this just means he made lunch with odin and niles and they did different parts and it’s soooooooooooooooooo cute to think about him cooking with his boys ;w; also he sounds so proud here too. hes so proud of his retainers and hes like “heh, mine are the best, they made this great food arent they wonderful i love them so much”“You want…to try some of my cooking? [gasp sigh huffy noise??] If you insist…” hes so excited someone wants to eat his cooking but he cant let anyone Know he has emotions lollies down… maybe leo really is my top fave LOL i just love his lines so much. i want to high five his voice actor for the delivery on these lines. that’s not even going into some of his supports in warriors that ive watcheed on youtube [plz everyone needs to see the one with frederick and leo. it always has me in tears. theyre SO FUNNY together ldjsfgbgf]chapter leo of birthright is probs one of my favorite chapters in fates. it was HARD AND ANNOYING but the dialogue made me weepy 

All the people I ship romantically with this characterodin and niles are fave….. they make a cute ot3!! i love how much he appreciates and cares for them and theyre all so good for each other… mr uptight leo and his chaos incarnate retainers to bring out his very secret dorky side… my BOYS!!!  i could go on and on about them for many paragraphs but this is already way too long lmfao oopsi also like leo and takumi of course lol. i havent played revelations yet but ive seen bits of their supports and also i just love the bickering enemies to lovers trope lol. this is my favorite panel from the 4koma comics

My non-romantic OTP for this characteri love the familial bonds between all the nohrian siblings but so far leo and elise is my fave sibling duo,,, but im biased bc so far ive only gotten theirs and camilla/xander’s lol. but even in hoshido i like the younger sibs plus older sibs duos. the idea of closeness in age forming a special bond is cute to me. i also like corrin and leo as having a close sib bond since they seem close in age! i know theres [remembers graveyard chapter of birthright again and starts sobbing] some underlying angst of him envying all the doting on corrin his siblings do and he feels ALONE AND I CRY, but he also was very fond of corrin, and i remember the end of birthright where camilla totally calls him out saying how he was saying how nice it was to get to see corrin again ;w; i’d like to think they were close!and of course i like leo and camilla’s relationship…. thinks about end of birthright and sobs… at least they have each other ;o;i need to get more leo supports actually… i want to see every support convo but theres only so much time CRIES 

My unpopular opinion about this characterIDK if this counts bc i feel like it’s half and half but i am not a fan of shipping corrin specifically with him or any of the other nohrian/hoshidan royals. like i totes get wanting to marry him as a character, buuuuuuut like i personally was not about to do that when our protagonist was his adopted sibling??????????? no thank you?!?!?!?!????? my friends and i read through the s-support convos for all of them on the wiki once and just…died the whole time bc theyre SO AWKWARD AND WEIRD “i was hiding my FORBIDDEN FEELINGS for you, PERSON I THOUGHT WAS MY SIBLING, my WHOLE LIFE, but now that ur NOT MY BLOOD RELATED FAMILY we can GET MARRIED, even tho weve still been calling you sister/brother casually this whole game” i CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IT’S WEIRDDDDDDDand like i dont think thats really an unpopular opinion but i see enough corrin/royals art to think it’s unpopular enough i guesstho i imagine there are some people that chose to marry the royal sibs and also think it’s weird but they just love the character and sat there like “ew stop dont talk about  that” loltho some people are like “it’s not technically inc/est-” like,,,, it kinda still is tho HHHH GROSSANYWAY

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.I mean with all video games i wish bein gay was more legal. i want to s-support all the royals to their counterparts. let leo hold takumi’s hand, which would probs turn into a competition of who can squeeze the hardest until they break each other’s bones bc theyre stupid, but plz. i want this. let hoshido and nohr form ultimate peace bc all their royal fams married.also i dont know the full situation with forrest bc i havent unlocked him but from what ive heard i wish leo was nicer about CERTAIN THINGS in their…. i guess recruitment chapter ? supports? i hear in some of japan’s dlc or a drama cd or something he comes around and is more accepting but still, if that’s not the case in US game i wish it WAS!!!ALSO i wish the sibs could have support convos with each others kids. like even if it was just the main royals kids getting to talk to their aunts and uncles i think that’d be CUTE !!!!!WAIT ALSO on the wiki, leo, niles, and odin all have unused quotes from the endgame. it seems like theyre in the part of the game where you got knocked the fuck out and hung out in the afterlife for a bit with ur dead friends and family and then everyone in the real world is shouting at u to get up off ur ass and come finish the fight. im wondering if that means leo and his retainers were originally supposed to join you in your final battle, even tho you were siding with hoshido? i wouldve loved that and cried twice as hard..... 

[x]

[mattgambler]

My thoughts on Sekiro - Shadows Die Twice

TLDR: I talk about what I liked and disliked about Sekiro and why it in my eyes is probably* the best game From Software has released to date. Which means I also compare it to Dark Souls a lot.

*I havent played Demon Souls or Bloodborne, so I cant really talk about those. As someone who played through all three Dark Souls games as well as several other soulslikes on stream, I always stood by the unpopular opinion that Dark Souls 1 is a good game, but also a vastly overrated one - with one of the most unbearable fanbases out there, right up there with Undertale, albeit for very different reasons. My opinion is of course strongly coloured by my interactions with diehard fans of Dark Souls, both on stream as well as everywhere else on the Internet, but at the end of the day I never hated Dark Souls. I wouldnt have played through all three games otherwise. I *did* hate smaller aspects, like the fact that I ended up entering the tomb of the giants without ever finding a lantern and therefore  being forced to crawl through that place in near complete darkness until I found the emergency lantern in there, simply because I was unlucky enough to have none of the necromancers drop one for me. Or how the curse mechanic in the sewers got me trapped in a place that i already struggled with, but now with only 50% of my original HP. Or the entire “Git Gud” mentality that is so grossly abused to defend poor game design that the travesty that is camera control in the Ornstein and Smough fight looks like a piece of art in comparison. Onionbro and Solaire would weep if they knew. There were other things that I didnt enjoy, like what the Souls games count as a story, but I have an easier time pinning that down as personal preference and something that just isnt for me. Vaatividya makes good videos. The tomb of the giants without a lantern however, that just shouldnt exist in any game, not to mention a game that is glorified to such an extent that it could get its dick sucked every day by a different dude without running out for centuries. Can you taste that sweaty salt yet? Along comes Sekiro, a game by the same dev studio, with the same feel, minus many of the things that I have hated and criticized for several years now. Guess what, I like it.    This isnt a review, Im not trying to tell you if you should buy, Im not telling you that there are no microtransactions in the game or what framerate it isnt capped at. There are tons of videos online that jump-attacked all over that on day 1 of release or earlier. Im telling you why, in my opinion, this game is so vastly superior to Dark Souls that it simply warms my heart. Let me start a list and then never finish it: - You can swim - You can jump - You can talk - You dont immediately die when you fall off a cliff - You cant accidentally walk over a cliff like a moron, at least most of the time. - You can’t simply rely on dodgerolls and invincibility frames all the time - You can understand the story without having to go to Youtube to have it explained to you by someone - You can’t kill strong enemies simply by chain parrying them over and over, or at least it is hell of a lot harder - You can’t simply kill strong enemies by knocking them off a cliff (I think) - You can’t abuse magic for an immediate easy mode - You can’t abuse coop for an immediate easy mode

... I’m getting a little unfair here, I know. I actually think coop is a cool feature, even though I personally never used it and even the multiplayer pvp invasions are an original and interesting concept, although I’m not personally into it. Magic is cool too, although poorly balanced and therefore in my opinion less interesting. The reason I added those last two points to my unfinished list is not because I dislike them, but because of the lately relevant “does Sekiro need an easy mode” controversy. Especially the most elitist diehard fans of the souls franchise strongly disagree with the addition of an easy mode, which is funny... ... given that Dark Souls 1 has several. Personally I dont think Sekiro NEEDS an easy mode, but it sure wouldnt hurt anyone. I personally wouldnt have minded playing on a lower difficulty, I had three or four bosses greatly overstay their welcome before I finally managed to smash their asslike faces in. ...but Im rambling. On a surface level, just looking at the feel of combat, movement and overall story coherence Sekiro is already miles ahead, but I can understand that it therefore feels less like a Souls game and that not everyone will like that. I can understand and respect that. DarkSouls 1, as well as 2 and maybe even 3, have a couple of features that I greatly appreciate and that partly even surpass Sekiro in my otherwise overly critical eyes. Dark Souls 1 has the best and most memorable map in my opinion. Dark Souls 2 has incredible DLCs, especially Frozen Eleum Loyce was awesome and beautiful, with the minor exception of that retarded snow zebra area and how you would respawn *before* the loading screen to get there again instead of after. I also liked the Pursuers concept a lot, as well as the idea of despawning mobs if you killed them often enough. I dont remember much about DS3, it was okay as far as Im concerned but I enjoyed it the least out of the three, probably because of burnout as I had played through all three (blind) in a row. Im mentioning all of this because I want to clarify that in my eyes Sekiro is not THE TIMELESS MASTERPIECE NOBODY WILL EVER SURPASS that Darksouls 1 is often celebrated as. But in many ways it is headed in a direction that makes more sense to me than “if you are not enjoying it then you are doing it wrong and you should maybe think for once”. (Not that Sekiro streamers werent told exactly that just the same) Let me tell you, there were many instances in Sekiro where I also didnt think, didnt consider every possible option the game had given me, honestly Im pretty sure I sucked most of the time, in the eyes of your usual GITGUD-Bro. But I struggled, I improved, I succeded, and I had a way better time during it all, even though I did the same shit in the Souls games as well. Just without falling off edges in waist-high water every 10 minutes, or being invaded by some bowing edgelord, or losing 50% of my max hp as punishment for dying to the wrong enemy. There is this myth going around online that Dark Souls might be a harsh mistress, but at least a fair one. The one spreading that rumour must have been the Bed of Chaos herself, because that is nothing but horseshit. Sekiro isnt exactly fair all the time either, there are many moments in the game that feel all too familiar in their GOTCHA nature. Like how the game conveniently places the key to one of the hardest areas of the early game in your path so you go check it out just to get crucified there by Lady Butterfly and a special drunkard, just for you to learn after finally breaking both of them that you would have had a way easier time if you had simply ignored that area and soldiered on on your original path. Sure, one could have simply abandoned that area and returned later, but how many of you did? I sure didnt. The game likes to oneshot-kill you if you fail to dodge the wrong attack, be it a giant carp, a giant snake, or a giant TERROR man. Even worse, in Sekiro you cant even get your souls back! You die, you lose 50%. ALso 50% of your cash. Suck it. Im not particularly happy about that myself and Im not sure what the motivation behind that design decision was, but you take the good with the bad, right? Another thing that Sekiro does that I dont understand is how the game has you collect loot. Every time you kill an enemy you need to hold a button to collect. You can kill several in an area and then grab everything at once if they arent too far apart, but at the end of the day it eludes me why From Software didnt simply go for autocollecting instead. It’s not a big deal (even though I would forget about picking up loot every now and then) but at the same time it isnt adding any enjoyment to the game either, no matter how hard I try and emphasize with whatever a gamer who likes this might possibly think. It is not hard, its is not really relevant,  and I cant think of a single advantage it has over autocollecting. Maybe holding that button is supposed to feel rewarding? I consider it meaningless at best and tedious busywork at worst. At the same time the game introduces a stealth system that actually means something, while at the same time keeping it both well integrated as well as completely optional. Im truly impressed by how that is even possible. I also like the immortality mechanic, that results in you only truly dying if you go down twice, and even refreshes that revive if you kill enough enemies inbetween deaths. It doesnt help that much, as it doesnt refill your estus fl.... healing gourds, but it allows for a little bit more practice against tough enemies before you die, a little bit more lenience while exploring in an area where it is easy to fall, a little bit more standing power in a world where a giant carp can simply eat you. I appreciate it and it is far from making the game anything close to easy. Its more like an extra gourding flask. I could keep going and praise this (surprisingly satisfying enemy style and variety given the setting) or criticize that (less replayability because of fewer possible weapons and builds), but at the end of the day my opinion is crystalclear - Sekiro is stunningly beautiful, very enjoyable, hard as fuck, and while I have heard people say that “it is not a true soulslike”, I have to shrug and agree. It is better.

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

[red-wardens]

DA Questions

Tagged by: @goblin-deity and @gothkimmyschmidt -- thank you :)

Tagging: @jaffa-keksi @chillyrose @dickeybbqpit @mocha-writes @the-dread-doggo @heraldofwho @keeperscompanionsdai @space-vashoth (if you guys haven’t done it already. if you have, tag me so i can see!)

–---------

01) Favorite game of the series?

Dragon Age 2. I love the bisexual disaster companions and how they have friends/relationships/lives outside of you. And I love Hawke and their tragic story. I also like having years passing with the same protagonist/companions instead of “my new companions and I had one crazy year together”. Plus fighting mechanics were my favorite in this game. 

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

I saw gifs of Morrigan on tumblr years ago (back when DA2 was still new) and thought, “holy shit, she’s pretty I should play that”, and just never got around to it till a couple years later till when I saw a lot of gifs of default Marian Hawke and thought “she’s gorgeous and funny and I would die for her” (I still can’t believe I used to think I was straight...) and then found out she’s not till the second game so I hurried up and bought Origins to play first. Then got hooked, Origins has such a great story.

03) How many times you’ve played the games?

I’m on my 4th and 5th (playing simultaneously) playthroughs of Origins, I’ve played DA2 either 6 or 7 times. Inquisition I’ve only played once and I skipped most of the side missions because that game is so long.

04) Favorite race to play as?

Elf. I love dwarves a lot though and if they could do magic they’d easily be the fave. 

05) Favorite class?

Mage. I like healing and not having to get close to enemies. 

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

I try to play differently each time and role play hard (ex: certain mage OC’s are only allowed to have skills in certain fields of magic even if it’s inconvenient for me, my traumatized-by-Carver’s-death Hawke who is triggered by seeing ogres can only “hold position” when one appears and I can only fight as the companions because she’s having a panic attack). In Origins I like to put someone different on the throne each time, side with mages once and templars the next, and have companions love/hate me according to my OC’s personality (and not cheat by using the Feast Day gifts). In DA2 I have a different personality Hawke each time and they make varying choices but in the end I have never sided with templars. I think in my 2nd Inquisition playthrough I’ll side with templars though out of curiosity. 

07) Go-to adventuring group?

Always depends on who is the love interest and who are the closest friends of my protagonist. Even if the team comp is terrible. 

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

Blue Surana was my first character ever so she’s had the longest time of me adding/subtracting/updating her and her story. That being said I like to think I’ve put a lot of thought into my Mahariel and Amell as well. Out of my Hawkes, Claira is the most developed. 

09) Favorite romance?

Fenris. 

10) Have you read any of the comics/books?

I've read all the comics and I’ve read “The Calling” and “The Last Flight” I plan to read the other books soon hopefully. 

11) If you read them, which was your favorite book?

I really recommend The Last Flight if you’re a die hard Grey Wardens fan like me. The main character inspired the name for my Mahariel. 

12) Favorite DLCs?

 I genuinely forgot Awakening is DLC since it came with my game but, yeah. I love all the companions in Awakening and I wish it were longer. “The Exiled Prince” is also another fave since I genuinely like Sebastian Vael and he’s a kickass squadmate. 

13) Things that annoy you.

The white-washing, what happened to Orsino, the way Inquisition doesn’t take into account Hawke could have been a blood mage, no healing as an Inquisition mage, the fucking Requisition Officer, the way you can’t be nicer to Sera, no dwarf romances, and how the Inquisitor can’t call Cullen out on certain things (Cassandra too, honestly, though I love her she can be really insensitive to other cultures). That’s just in the games, don’t even get me started on some of the fandom. 

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

Frozen Dog Lovers > Snooty Elf Oppressors, any day 

15) Templars or mages?

Mages, no contest.

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

I have 3 worldstates that I have playthroughs for, and a Multi-Warden AU

Worldstate 1 - Arcane Warrior/Battlemage/Fire Mage, mutual-pining-for-Sten, grey-sexual Blue Surana + Spirit Healer/Ice Mage, Fenris Romance, gay Akono Hawke

Worldstate 2 - Ranger/Assasin Archer, Zevran Romance, straight Isseya Mahariel + Blood Mage/Earth Mage, Sebastian rivalmance, panromantic/ace Henley Hawke

Worldstate 3 - Blood Mage/Spirit Healer/Entropy Mage, Leliana Romance, bisexual Alyss Amell (dies) + Shadow/Dual-Blade Rogue, Anders Romance, bisexual Claira Hawke

Multi-Warden AU: Blue Surana is main warden and recruits the others after Ostagar forming what I call the “Warden Squad”. Most thought-out world, that I have the most writing for but will probably never get around to writing the actual fic. We will see. Also, I need to make some Inquisitors for all these worldstates....they’re planned out I just need to force myself to actually play them. 

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Mabari’s: Rabbit (Blue Surana), Dog (Isseya Mahariel), Teddy (Alyss Amell), Tor (Akono Hawke),  Better Carver “BC” (Henley Hawke), Bear (Claira Hawke). Isseya Mahariel numbers her wolf and bear summons A-# for wolves and B-# for bears. 

18) Have you installed any mods?

I play on xbox so nah, sadly. 

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

Blue Surana didn’t want to leave the Circle and Isseya Mahariel didn’t want to give up searching for Tamlen so “no” for both of them, but they both were amazing at it. Alyss Amell, as much as it terrified her to leave to fight things, wanted to be free of Kinloch Hold. 

20) Hawke’s personality?

Akono is almost exclusively Purple though he has rare Blue moments when speaking to Carver or sometimes Fenris. 

Henley is solidly Red except maybe once or twice chose purple banter for talking to her only friend, Varric. 

Claira is the most varied in that she’s split 60-40 between Blue and Red, meaning well and wanting to be all good/peaceful, but having a wild, passionate temper when defending mages and her friends/family. I also headcanon she has the foulest mouth of my Hawkes though she actively tries to stop cursing it’s an unbreakable habit. She’s also a shameless flirt and hits that heart button almost every single time it comes up (I wouldn’t consider her Purple at all though since she isn’t sarcastic and is the type to laugh at jokes rather than make her own).  

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

I made Cole and I matching outfits because I love him ._.

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

This could get long if I listed everyone so, Blue Surana regrets not telling Sten how she felt sooner, though she doubts it would have changed anything. Isseya Mahariel wishes Tamlen could have been found sooner so the Joining could have saved him. 

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

My entire Multi-Warden AU is a big “fuck you” to canon because all those potential wardens deserve to live dammit.

24) Who did you leave in the Fade?

In this house we do not leave Hawkes in the Fade. So, sorry Loghain :(

25) Favorite mount?

I legit forgot I had a mount 90% of the time. At least I got to hear more dialogue I guess. 

[y01te-moved]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

i almost cant even count how many this is but im doing every single one anyways and you cant stop me despite the fact that this obviously took me ages to actually answer

1: if ur reading this ur legally obligated to follow max (sender of this ask) Right Now. Just Do It.

2: i think more ppl with my sense of humor should watch Spider Riders bc listen..  if somewhere along the line that show suddenly gained more popularity again in this fine year of 2019 id be both actually funny for once but also revolutionary. by all technicalities some of my hcs are fucking great but i dont think i could say a lot of them and even be comprehensible outside of orientation based ones that are just rlly controversial. granted im not even sure i could or would actually recommend the show to people cause its kinda dumb a lot of the time and also fairly long at least to my standards so its harder to finish unless ur like really invested in it :pensive:

3: also on that note the next time a horny person even THINKS about Corona im Going to break into their home and then break their knees. i hate that she has so much fanart thats basically just fetish art or otherwise managing to be nsfw in some way shes like 15 at best fuck off!! its rlly only a problem on like. deviantart but it still makes me die inside.

4: character development is hard i never actually keep my ideas and what i have written down on like.  my actual bios for everyone on the same pace so its a confusing mess and i wish i was better at combating that

5: anon and kanon r such good loids i wish people used them more but i think a part of the problem is that i dont always look That hard for things that use them ahdbsadgashdj

6: alex is the best sdv bachelor and im not accepting criticism on that notion. 2nd best would probably be like..  sam except i havent tried hard enough to be friends with him yet which i feel bad abt bc he seems nice

7: i miss the cracking open a cold one with the boys meme that was still one of my favorites

8: (goes BACK to thinking about SR shdfjds) the anime had no right having like so many characters base their ideals off of how brade used to be in the past and all those good takes on like not necessarily Having to resort to violence as the ultimate solution and all that good stuff just to be like, “surprise!! he actually IS still around! but also he’s going to be minimally helpful at all until the last few episodes and otherwise we’re going to make a ton of gags about him trying to hit on the like 2 girls in the team who are also like 15 while he ignores practically everyone else because thats funny!” im still so mad about it. he is the absolute worst and he has no rights. there was also so much potential they seemed like they could have used and were trying to hint at using in terms of further developing more important details about the history of the inner world or at least some of the things that had been going on well before hunter ever showed up and then they didn’t do anything but hint at the idea of brade having known hunter’s grandfather. but even that wasn’t 100% confirmed bc they dodged around it the one time they had hunter ask. its a mess.

9: my taste is so fucking weird and i hate it bc its mostly just, “oh yeah i heard abt this thing and it seems cool im hoping to start getting into it soon!” for most things that are actually cool or popular or all that and never actually get into it, but then i see smth dumb as shit that i know would probably make me look like an absolute fool for liking and im like, “oh yeah yknow what i can do this one” and then i do like it but i cant say much about it either cause i dont wanna look like.   a fool.

10: these have been depressing as fuck so im gonna lighten the mood and say that himbo is a fucking hilarious word and i love it

11: also axel (kh) is a himbo. why? he just is.

12: im also bad at character design i think bc i always worry that my characters look too similar in terms of hair style like all the time and idk if its rlly that bad or not jfhgkf.  that and like. so many of my characters just wear jeans and boots in terms of the lower half of their body its so unoriginal but it always works so well…

13: still disappointed in myself for having never 100%’d even 1 tlodw game. lunatic mode.. Difficult

14: i dont keep up with ace attorney fans but i hope everyone out there agrees that miles has peak vampire energies based on the way he dresses alone

15: re:zero fans have no rights only bc i only ever see ppl talking abt rem and ram like. wh..   was no one ever going to tell me about reinhard or was i just supposed to watch him get introduced in the first few eps and then fall in love w/him immediately before even finding out hes supposed to be a knight which makes him 20x better

16: leon and/or leonhart is like genuinely a good name idk why it just sounds rlly nice

17: ive had like so many technical difficulties with this site since trying to answer this i hate tumblr

18: im pretty sure im like. genuinely just gonna go mute or some shit one day cause honestly ive mostly only ever gotten worse and worse about not actually being able to say things even when i know exactly what thought im trying to say, both physically and like. online. its so weird i feel like i just cant say things. it may just be being self conscious but i restrict myself soo heavily and its WEIRD….  its like being trapped in ur thoughts and it sucks.  probably doesnt even actually mean all that much but it still makes it hard for me to accomplish anything ever which i hate.

19: despite all the titles like ssbu and all that existing for the switch i think id only want one to play the new(er) inside system games i havent had the chance to yet like the spinoff card game and rudymical and also brave dungeon but w/neville and klinsy and whoever else was dlc on that game cause obviously i own the 3ds port but also neville..  good…  i wanna see how she plays..

20: i miss when i could be passionate abt cave story it just makes me feel tired seeing it sometimes at this point but it also still holds a great significance to me so its just confusing and im not sure how i feel abt it

21: the SR novels were cowards only on account of not giving us any official design for petra but also for writing igneous like.  That.  novelverse igneous is just too bitter in general and like i get it but they couldve done a lot more with him even though he is still somewhat respectable in the end, granted its hard cause like holy shit hes so fucking mean to hunter literally who asked for that. im just glad the anime let him be somewhat more idk..  i guess sociable while still keeping a lot of the inherently essential aspects his personality had like his almost over the top loyalty to the prince and taking things like training/combat in general very seriously. its just good and animeverse igneous is so good id die for him thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[scithemodestmermaid]

now for bethesda e3

my notes as follows, although i am finger knitting as well so we shall see how this works out

they showed footage from the fallout 76 marketing party in their butt-kissing montage

this year i’m just watching bethesda to see how they cover up the fallout 76 fiasco

pete hines, that’s a name i havent heard from since before fallout 76′s crash and burn.  

the audience is eating pete’s crap right up, have we really completely healed and moved on?

pete hines is in full ass-kiss mode.  like, even more than the xbox and ea folks were.

wow todd howard had the balls to get on this stage.

“incredibly exciting years, given how exciting it was we are surprised you’re still here.”  and that’s probably the closest to an apology we will get.

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE CHEERING FALLOUT 76.

“we got a lot of well-deserved criticism,” okay that’s a good start, “and now we have an amazing post-apocalyptic wasteland and here’s some more one-liners and ass-kissing and here’s the future and this is all we are going to say on this matter, let’s talk about the other games.” you started out so well todd, where’s the freakin apology for the broken games and shattered promises and doxxing?  how the hell did you take that scenario and spin it as a good thing.

wait, blades is in early access?

blades on de switch.    that’s good, because i really wanted to play blades and i doubt my phone could handle it.

i’m still impressed how giddy this audience is, like not a single shred of bitterness.

more fallout 76

millions of players?

wait that one lady screaming, that is the same lady who was screaming at this crap last year

wastelanders dlc guess what it adds?  human npcs and speech checks!  like what should have been in the game from the beginning!

but....but can we kiss these npcs? 

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FREAKIN MUTANT

i mean i am glad that full dialogue trees are back, also halfway decent speech checks. 

free trial on the game for everyone from june 10-17.  that’s nice.

also, battle royale mode.  but here’s the great part, it seems that it is hosted by a cold-voiced AI.  i’m on-turned, personally.

i’m tempted to give the trial a go, but i also just wanna wait until it comes to steam.

speaking of, are you guys gonna say when it comes to steam?  no?  ok.

todd kissing his company’s ass some more.

and the audience’s.

a new game out of nowhere, ghostwire tokyo.

the girl doing this announcement is adorable and doing really well seeing as how she apparently doesn’t speak english, and she has sold this game for me and i don’t even know what it is about.

more asskissing!  hey, how about instead of making us forget your mistakes and distasters from the past year by buttering us up, you fucking apologize.

elder scrolls online, and the guy who worked on the game can’t even call the khajit by their name.

i still like how they went against the lore they came up with by having dragons just show up even though the skyrim lore says they shouldn’t have been there at that point.

also the dragons are just mindless beasts instead of the nuanced warrior kings from skyrim.

the khajit looks astounding though, so thats good.

THIS KHAJIT SHOULD BE A MAJOR CHARACTER IN A SINGLEPLAYER GAME, THEY’RE WASTED ON THIS MMO TRAILER

audience needs to shut up, none of this is THAT exciting.

“scalebreaker” ONE ASSHOLE LOSES HIS MIND EVEN THOUGH NOBODY KNOWS WHAT SCALEBREAKER EVEN IS ABOUT

new game to be premiered, right now.

“classic saturday morning cartoon in free to play mobile game form?”  okay, impress me.  “ITS COMMANDER KEEN”  wow, i didn’t even play commander keen as a kid and this is hurting my childhood.

what the heck is this gameplay?

“at bethesda we, like you, enjoy  mobile games.”  ummmmmmm, yeah not really.  i uninstalled shelter a while back.

and now legends, with a really stupid looking live action trailer.  they spent money on this.  money that couldve have been used towards game making.

dragons again.

if you’re looking for a card game that is a bit more difficult, you could friggin play artifact but everybody butthurted out of that so nvm here’s our overhyped card game instead.

rage 2.  that game came out already?

lol iits so quirky and funny, it’s great love us love our game

wolfenstein.

the two games they announced last year, let us just remind you all they exist.

the vr game and the co-op game with the guy’s twin daughters.

coming out a few days before my birthday, though.  thanks bethesda?

wait its the dishonored devs.

wait the hell is this?

is that dave fennoy again?

so is this a time loop battle royale?

Deathloop. two people constantly fighting, story-driven, and lots of ways to approach things.  but nothing else even explained about it.

more.  ass.  kissing.  now they are saying about how games made them less introverted and dumb stuff.

the director of bethesda publishing is saying that they’re the inventors of the fps, when really they just freakin bought the people who invented.

also they were low-key bragging about creation club.

new tech for game streaming called orion.

it is an integrated streaming device?

they’re streaming from the computer to a mobile phone, and honestly that really looked like it could be easily faked.  i am filled with doubt.

doom eternal now.  this is apparently the highlight of the conference, but i’ve never cared about the doom franchise so i can’t bring myself to care.

holy cow, gameplay???  at e3??????

i just hear doomy ternal instead of doom eternal.

walked away to put up dishes, came back and they are still on doomy ternal.

doomy ternal releases in november 22, for those of yall who care about it

preorder the collector’s edition, that went so well with fallout 76!

also doomy ternal battle mode

and that’s the end of the bethesda conference.  and it kinda sucked.  i went in with low expectations, and i’m still kind of disappointed.  although fallout 76 may have added a new psycho AI husbando for me so at least i have that