#future leo makes me feel very normal

[astrow1zar6]

Astrology Observations- 013

I notice Cap Mercurys think so maturely even from such a very young age. These were those kids that always wanted to hang around people older than them. They are old souls at heart and sometimes it’s harder for them to connect with more childlike energies. People their age can see them as boring because of their serious demeanor.

Leo Risings never like to show the sides to them that make them look bad in anyway. These people have big egos so any assumption from others that they aren’t anything but great can take a big toll on their self esteem. They come off so confident but most are really insecure & don’t think they are interesting so they tend exaggerate a lot of facts about them to keep people thinking they are really interesting and amazing. (U guys don’t need ti do that people already think you are before you even speak)

Capricorn risings always look so annoyed when people are speaking to them. Most of the time they are. They have very honest expressions and when someone says something stupid or uninteresting they are more willing to show their uninterested while most are just willing to smile and take it out of being polite. This is why they can come off as rude or snobbish but really the just don’t have time for bullshit. (I definitely think Wednesday Addams has this placement) many don’t know they are being rude but most don’t have the energy to be fake if they really don’t like what the others saying. Very Real people many mistake them for being Scorpio risings.

Venus in Scorpios were probably shamed a lot for their their sex appeal/drives. I notice these people have a very provocative vibe to them that causes a lot of ppl to sexualize them ( especially the women). I’ve seen women with this placement be virgins and still get slut shamed. People always assume they sleep with mad people even if it’s not true.

Moon in 5th housers are actually very secretive about their talents. A lot are so talented but most tend to keep their hobbies and interests to themselves unless they really trust you.

When someone with Venus in the 7th house likes you they will talk about their future a lot with you. This one guy had a big crush on me and would always joke about getting married and starting a life someday ( he made it sound as a joke but in a way I can tell he meant it). Also can be obsessed with weddings. I have a friend with this placement who says she’ll only wanna get married to experience having her dream wedding lol

Venus in 2nd house women always have people buying them things bro. They don’t even have to ask and men will be buying them expensive gifts or paying for their food or trips. Definition of pretty privilege.

Mars in Aquarius like very eccentric things in bed. It’s almost like they enjoy the opposite of what should be expected in bed. Like the women would like to take normally the male role in bed and vice versa a man with this placement could like a very submissive role. The weirder and more out of place the more turned on they get. Can also be really experimental they are willing to try anything once even if it’s outlandish.

Mars in Aries are usually natural athletes. They have amazing endurance and can become pros faster than most.

Virgo moons usually have bad stomach problems or eating disorders. They are also always giving unsolicited advice no one asked for. They feel this need to solve everything but it can come off as kinda judgmental.

Mars in Pisces are usually victims to bullying. They usually have a hard time asserting themselves and standing up so they get pushed around a lot easier by stronger more dominant energies.

Cap moons are always in denial of their feelings

Mars Square Venus synastry can be really awkward at times in a friendship. Theres this bizarre sexual and touchy tension usually that both aren’t fully comfortable with. The mars person can come off a little too strong and can treat the Venus as if they own them. This attraction can be one sided sometimes with the mars person wanting the Venus and the Venus getting repulsed and distancing themselves. I’ve seen the mars person get jealous if the Venus would hang out with others whether it be other friends or family. And if the Venus is dating someone else this can get really heated on the mars end. Venus will feel the attraction but I notice it’s not as strong.

Venus in 5th house synastry is soooooo flirty. These are those cheesy cringey couples that are always acting like little kids around eachother. It’s actually a really sweet placement. This person will be able to bring out your inner child.

Venus in Libras are always crushing on someone. They jump into relationships I think faster than people with Venus in Aries the only difference is that they can maintain longer term partnerships & don’t bore as quick (even if their feelings are a little superficial). They just don’t know what to do with themselves when they are alone.

Scorpio risings I notice get really strong reactions out of people (like Lilith/asc people) their words make others blood boil even if they really don’t say anything offensive or rude. Most people are jealous of their authenticity which is why a lot of Scorpio risings are quiet and not as willing to open up. People just hate on them so intensely for the littlest things. They also have this ability to know if people are genuine or not which can be intrusive to certain people causing intense reactions. They can see thru everyone’s mask which can make other feel uncomfortable to be around them. This is why they usually have few friends and the friends they do have are as authentic as themselves. Literal human lie detectors

Men that have a water sun with a water moon are BIG SIMPS

Cancer sun women will be passively rude to you if they don’t like you or are jealous of you. They won’t straight say it but they will say little comments in a nice way that’s actually really rude. Then usually play victim if confronted

Everyone’s crush in high-school was either a Scorpio sun or a Libra sun/rising. Tell me I’m lying

[fluffytriceratops]

𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 - 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨 [𝐛𝐚𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞]

notes: leo reacting to y/n pulling him in for a kiss by his belt. ;) i'm doing this for all of them and it's in headcannon style because i'm in a rut and lazy. bayverse spefically for now, but let me know if you want this for other iterations as well. ^v^

click here to read donnie's ver.

click here to read mikey's ver.

click here to read raph's ver.

warnings: mature language, nsfw mentions/sexual themes.

tags: @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @leosgirl82 @rheawritesforfun @s-s-ironnie @post-apocalyptic-daydream @mysticboombox @drowninghell @lec743 @raphielover @tmntspidergirl @raphslovemuffin80 @squirrelfurs @bibiz82

(if you want to be tagged in my future tmnt related work, feel free to lemme know and i'll happily tag you~!)

i'm sending all the love and virtual hugs to you! love you guys!! ^w^

---

- eyes would widen a fraction, and if you weren't paying attention you probably wouldn't notice.

- at the feeling of your hands on his belt, he would raise an eye ridge.

- his jaw would clench, and again, if you weren't watching him closely you wouldn't notice.

- hands would slide to your waist. grip would tighten a little at the feeling of your breath fanning his face.

- his cheeks would warm at the close proximity, his gaze would study you.

- so intense it made your skin prick in delight.

- he'd pull you closer at the feeling of your lips against his own.

- and once you'd both pull away he'd send you the most breathtaking smile. the type that literally takes your breath away and make your heart clench.

- leo would lean closer to you, so close you could feel his breath against your ear. "that was a very bold move, y/n.." he would murmur, his voice low, husky, and laced in a teasing tone.

- his voice alone would bring you pleasure, giving you goosebumps and causing a shiver to snake up your spine.

- your cheeks would dust in a soft rosey glow, but you'd force a smirk on your delicate lips.

- "exactly why i did it, leonardo." you'd all but purr. grabbing his bandana tails and twirling them around a finger with a coy smile that had his heart stuttering and thoughts to falter for a moment.

- leo loved hearing you say his name like that.

- he'd bite his lip subcontiously and study you with those intense blue eyes of his.

- "and what spurred on this bold move?"

- leaning closer to him, brushing your lips against his once more-

- "i was hoping you'd pull an even bolder one~"

- if you were in a secluded area, and especially if no one was around, he'd take you right then and there.

- if you were more in public, he'd find the most hidden place he could and mark every inch of you as his. ;)

- either way you're covered with love bites.

- leo wants you all to himself, and he'd be deliberate with his markings. putting them in places where they wouldn't be seen by the naked eye normally. that way, you two are the only ones aware of their existence.

- and when you guys were with company again, he'd brush his hand over the spots, despite not being able to see them, he'd know exactly where they were. he would apply a bit of pressure, to make it known to you, and only you, that he was very aware of this,

- leo likes to watch you squirm.

- and he makes you squirm as often as he can.

[fishsticksloser]

I really loved Because You Loved Me and id love to have fluff with all the boys, sorry its not specific, id just love to see u write whatever hehe ^w^;

Future Boys Fluff

F!RotTMNT x gn!reader

Warnings: fluff, kissing, being sweet, the boys are down bad

A/N: I need more future boys content fr... Wanna kiss and hold them, give them good scratches... This will be the last double posting day for a while. :)

Donnie

Donnie is very very busy

He will let you kiss him when you deliver things to his lab

But if you manage to kiss him when he's really frustrated with something...

Donnie will pull you into his lap and bury his face in your neck

If you have moment to spare, feel free to crawl into his lap and cuddle while he works

He enjoys when you kiss his neck and face

He'll return the favor, pressing kisses to your neck

When he's free or taking a break?

You bet this man will find go looking for you

He'll snatch you away from whatever you're doing

Donnie can't sleep without you next to him

So if you're not at base, he's working in his lab waiting for your return

Leo

Leo is running around all the time

He's trying to make sure everything runs smoothly

So he doesn't really get a chance to be with you

He is amazed you even agreed to be with him considering it's like you two never see each other

If he manages to get a short break he'll run to you

Pulling you into some dark room or closet

Leo really can't get enough of you

If you walk by or give him something, his hands are on you

Tapping and tugging you closer

He normally can't sleep without you

But if he's been up for days on end, he can pass out once his face it's the pillow

When he's able to cuddle in bed with you, you leave with fresh marks on your neck and shoulders

If he's not able to stay in bed with you, he leaves you little notes

They're sometimes short, other times they're fairly long

They're full of inside jokes, love, admiration, and puns

Mikey

He's also running around

But Mikey is taking care of sick people and food

While also practicing his mystic arts

So he's a busy guy

But unlike Leo, he has a bit more freedom

Mikey will find you and pull you into an empty room

His brothers have made sure to message him before they find him

If you guys have tasks in the same area, Mikey has his hand in yours

Or an arm around you

He touches you every chance he gets

He'll kiss your cheek in passing

Squeeze your hand before you part ways for the day

While Mikey can sleep without you next to him, he much prefers you being there

Raph

He's busy training

He has his days filled with adults, kids, literally everyone

He gets a bit worn out

But he always looks forward to the time between classes

Cause you'll be waiting and he can have you all to himself for a few minutes

During these times what happened depends on the day

Good days, Raph is picking you up and kissing you like his life depends on it

On bad days, Raph will just hold you and let his hands caress your body

When he's able to take a bigger break, he's finding you

He's telling you how amazing you are, kissing your face, holding you close

Like Mikey, Raph can sleep without you

But does he want to? No.

[teenagenutant]

Ngl I love Galileo's entire concept. Does he have double the ego-mask and double the insecurities?

hope you don't mind me using this message to compile some asks ^^ (if you don't see yours im probably planning on doing something else with it) thank you so much!! first off... yeah totally LOL

gali's being totally genuine here. i don't think galileo masks their feelings at all- they're a total emotional open book in contrast to both donnie and leo, lmao. when they're being egotistical, they mean it 200%, but its also the same when they're feeling insecure...

(a bunch more galileo asks beloooow)

made me giggle LMAO

in regards to powers: i'm still unsure on exactly how to handle it, but i do like the idea of being able to create more stable portal constructs... maybe being able to teleport constructed items? maybe being able to create more sci/fantasy constructs than donnie alone can...? much to think about. parmi definitely has a combined Even More Insane portal powers, messing with both dimensions and space... (but he operates on rule of funny, lol, so a bit unpredictable) they can probably still use their normal separate abilities to some extent, but probably are still affected by each other!

i love the idea of galileo getting Very hyperfocused Very easily- gali gets their love of learning and being right, and they don't feel hungry or tired as much as either donnie or leo would, so they can get really lost in the weeds... components of a fusion remember everything that happens and would probably retain the information learned, but wouldn't for example make leo instantly knowledgable on all the complicated science stuff donnie knows, and vice versa. aka: leo and donnie both ending up with a LOT of contextless, near-useless trivia after unfusing post-wikipedia binge. the image of them fusing exclusively to combine their ability to Prove Someone Wrong On The Internet is really, really good LMAO

THANK YOU !! galileo was a fun guy to design, i'm really glad people like them. i think being galileo is actually really fun, especially in the moment... like how initially excited donnie was + how hyped leo was to make scifi stuff in mind meld..

thank y'all for the asks!! i'll be tagging this stuff as 'fusion mayhem au' in the future. (again no promises this'll be a Formal AU Thing but i thought it be helpful for people to have a tag to filter!)

[thatsexcpisces]

Astrology observations pt.5

- I’ve noticed that many of the people who have an alcohol addiction or drink A LOT when they go out, are Pisces moons

- people with Saturn in the 2nd house may have felt that they always had the less fortunate family when it came to money and way of living, and admired other richer families for being able to afford things they wanted (may have had trauma regarding poverty)

- Lilith in 3h/9h people may have felt insecure when it comes to an academic setting or situation meaning they probably felt dumber than others or afraid to express their true opinions. They may have had teachers or siblings who tried to make them feel stupid or treated them badly.

- Taurus moons have very complicated relationships with food. Some of my friends have this placement and they can go from having a serious eating disorder and struggling to eat anything to later overeating, always bringing food with them, always making sure they eat well, etc

- i feel like the sign in your 5th house shows your opinion on wanting children or how you would treat your children in the future. Ex: Taurus/cancer in the 5th house people may want to nurture and care for their child and look forward to having one. Sagittarius in the 5h may prefer their freedom and don’t really plan on having kids that early on.

- Pluto-Venus aspect people really bring out the scorpion energy in relationships imo. They can go to extremes with their possessiveness and jealousy over someone they love and can sometimes even feel that they love so deeply and no one matches their energy or others don’t care as much as they do.

- On that note, Having 8h synastry with someone is SO FUCKING INTENSE. Especially if one of you has your moon in the other person’s 8h. The moon person feels more imo and they’re the one that gets easily obsessed over the other person and stalks the hell out of them/watches their every move. I feel like it then takes the house person more time for their obsession to grow and to realize how much they need/love the moon person.

- This is a weird observation but Cancer risings have moments where they just randomly talk in a baby voice for no reason lol (unironically or ironically)

- If you have mars trine/square/sextile Pluto you’re def the hottest person in the room

- I feel like gemini men are more “pick-me” and brag more than Leo men. Like they just love talking about themselves lol

- People are so naturally attracted to sun-jupiter aspects and Leo rising people. Like they just draw people in and make friends so easily. They just have some sort of energy to them where they could be sitting in a room and people come up and talk to them automatically.

- Mars in 4h people easily get upset and annoyed by people in their household

- Individuals w Moon in the 8h May inherit mental illness from their mother or their mother could already have some sort of a mental illness that made their life very difficult

- Women with their ascendant in square or opposition to Lilith could likely be hated on by other females or women are naturally jealous and envious of them because they possess such a raw and sexually attractive energy

- Virgo moons 🤝 giving people their unsolicited opinion when no one ever asked them for it

- Venus in Capricorns will remember the smallest and I mean the TINIEST details about you If they’ve ever liked you. Even if they got over their crush on you, you 2 could be having a normal conversation and they will mention the most detailed thing about you that you didn’t even remember about yourself. It’s scary

- Libra mercuries on the other hand, actually have trouble remembering most details. They might forget things like your birthday here and there but the most ironic thing is Libra placements pick and choose something specific you did to remember and maybe even hold a grudge on, and you’ll never have a clue as of what it is.

- Mars in Gemini are so funny when they’re upset. They have the best insults and roasts which gives them no shame in absolutely destroying you with words

- A developed Capricorn woman’s confidence is the equivalent of an Aries man’s confidence (so they’re really loud and proud)

- Don’t ever fuck with someone who has Neptune or Jupiter in their 12th house cause the universe will be BREATHING down your back for anything bad you do to them

- Idk why everyone says all Aquarius are introverted and antisocial when tbh they’re some of the most confident, laid-back, and extroverted people you’ll ever meet. Many of the Aquarius I’ve met always tell me they’ll never miss an opportunity to go out and are very social

[crosshatchedaces]

My scrunkle (Fracturing Time Mikey) may have lost in the @rottmntpeepawpolls but he still loves his boys, even if Leo likes driving him up the wall.

I don't have a comic for ya since he lost, but I've got this and some random FT! facts below if you're interested in my ramblings

• I was originally actually going to do a F!Leo back in time fic! I had some ideas on what to do, it was going to take place during the movie, but the ending I had in mind was kinda sad tbh so I didn't go with it (though I do have a oneshot with all three going back instead now). Plus, there were already so many beautiful Future Leo fics out there!

• I then realized that there was quite literally only one other one of Future Mikey that I could find at the time (Mystic Hands), so I wanted to explore that idea more and give F!Mikey more love because he deserves it! I thought it would be a fascinating idea to go with too!

• This fic had originally been planned to be 10-15k long and just a short exploration of what could happen. The plot had been pretty different at the time as well, but it quickly got out of hand in word count.

• A part of the former bullet point was because I couldn't really find any Future Mikey fics to read lol so I just kept building upon my own. I also wanted to explore what his interpersonal relationships would be with each of the turtles, so he will be spending more time with Raph, Mikey, and Donnie in future chapters (currently it is at chapter 9 at the date this is posted).

• I love the idea that the movie parallels how Donnie and Raph died in the future, hence Donnie's death protecting Mikey in the fic.

• I have around 12 more chapters written out so far (just not checked over).

• I've tried to make most things that happen in the fic have some sort of connection with future chapters in some way, even some subtle, seemingly insignificant moments.

• I went out of my comfort zone with this fic. I wanted to do something bolder, something more plot heavy and what I wouldn't normally do, because I love reading fics like that. I often feel that I fall back on writing domestic aus, even though I'm not as interested in reading them, it's just what I was comfortable with.

• If I could go back, I would probably condense some of the beginning and make it pov alternating (but! I have snuck some moments in there, one of which is very soon).

• This fic is on a mini hiatus for a few weeks. I am neck deep in projects at the moment and work a full time job. I need to focus on those first before I can continue it, but I should hopefully have another chapter up in the foreseeable future.

And that's what I can think of for now! I'm not sure which person(s?) nominated FT!Mikey to be in the peepaw polls, but I want to thank you, it means a lot to me that you consider him to be up there with the other peepaws! He barely made it in there (32nd entry) lol but he's there!! I'm so glad there's fans out there that genuinely enjoy the story, and everyday I wish to continue it for all of you, you all keep me so inspired!!

I hope you all have a wonderful day, stay safe and cozy out there, everyone!

[star-sparkler]

Question: What's August's relationship with Draxum like? What was his reaction to being told/shown that Donnie apparently has a kid now? Did he ever get to hold her when she was smol bean? Is he proud goat grandpa???

Question 2: And does August only exist in the Apocalypse-Future timeline, or does she exist in the normal timeline, too? If so, what's different? (cause I think I've only ever seen her in the bad future) Question 3: I know August has a softshell like Donnie- has she ever gotten injured in the shell, or given Donnie a heart attack by doing something dangerous that /almost/ hurt her in the shell? (or barely grazed her?)

August is bestest bean and she and Donnie are so cute and I wanna hold her and squish her lil face so baddd- 🥺

ok bai *skitters away*

August has a very good relationship with GrandBarry Draxum!! He was actually the second person Donnie told about August, primarily to get a second opinion on whether or not she was viable and what he should do to ensure she stayed safe and healthy as she grew / and the best way to go about it. Draxum was definitely taken aback when Donnie admitted he'd sort-of cloned himself but I don't think he fully registered the whole 'oh that makes me a grandpa' until much later. Early on he was just in alchemical scientist mentor review mode and focusing on what it meant for Donatello rather than anyone else. He likely saw a lot of himself in Purple. When August is born, GrandBarry (named by Mikey) is reluctant to hold her but cajoled into it (probably also by Mikey) and ends up falling in love from the moment he holds her and looks at that sweet little face. Great big 'well it's not a perfect clone but it's still somehow....perfect anyway? My creation made a creation? I'm proud? I'm connected to this new little being? This new little being is important to me? mY CREATION MADE A CREATION AND THIS IS THE CREATION OF MY CREATION??' feelings. Suffice to say, he's very proud. I think with time Barry gets better about showing affection to his weird family and is definitely one of those grandpas who are stern with their kids but incredibly soft with their grandkids. Bonus stuff I've yelled at some buddies in the past: Fnvdjkfj Barry looking at the August in the tube and then to Donnie who’s like 8I nervous finger tapping against his own thighs. “Soooooooo-“ “Well it certainly is a baby.” “Correct.” “My only question is HOW?” Okay actually Barry and Donnie would probably just dive into explanations and scientific mumbo jumbo. I think Barry would just take it at face value at first before like. After they’ve gone over everything he’s just. ‘I recognize I’m not exactly” grimace, eye roll, and finger quotes “~father of the year~, as Yoshi might say. But I feel I should remind you that you have an actual life in your hands with this. You realize the gravity of that, don’t you?” Donnie rubbing an arm and avoiding eye contact “I have thought, rationalized, and explored every possibility regarding this ad nauseam to myself and….yes.” “Yes, you realize?” “Yes, I realize.” “And you are going to do everything in your power to do better by this child than I or your father have done by you?” “….Yes.” Barry nods, there’s a beat to let it settle, and then he pats Donnie a little awkwardly but firmly on the shoulder. “Then permit me to offer you a congratulations, Donatello. You are a father now.” Draxum reluctantly holding August like: This is far from a successful clone but… Mikey: buuuuuUUuUuUT???? :3 Donnie: choose your next words wisely, Sheep Man. Leo: Very wisely. August: Draxum: August: [chirp] Draxum: [long suffering sigh. Slight blush] She is….an acceptable creation.

August's main timeline is the good future! It's what I normally post about for her unless otherwise stated. U3U The main difference between the AUs is the setting. Little shifts in character relationships that come from the adutlts living different lives in the good and bad timelines. In the bad, Donnie passes away when August is young, so she's raised by her family with Leo as the final guardian say on things but most of the day to day care by Mikey and April, depending on who's available. Bad Timeline August is more interested in tinkering / mechanical maintenance / inventing than in the good (a way to keep Donnie's memory close as well as a way to be helpful while young, as she's kept far from danger by her family. But you've got a curious, spirited, determined-to-prove-herself child genius locked in a bunker all her life so that's absolutely a recipe for August getting into dangerous shenanigans as she gets older. Everything in the bad timeline is movie canon compliant so she doesn't go back in time with Casey Jr. She's presumed dead, and inadvertently left behind in the bad timeline. But her story doesn't end bad. I'll tell that one another time tho. ;3c Good timeline August is most of what I've posted. She's a goody-two-shoes spitfire who carries more weight than she should, determined to make her family proud and carry on the Hamato legacy. In both universes she's deeply proud of her heritage and family and loves them more than she knows what to do with. But her goals are more becoming-the-next-Hamato-leader orientated in the good timeline. Bonus chart: https://star-sparkler.tumblr.com/post/735187057887051777/i-saw-a-post-before-of-you-saying-that-in-the

Oh yeah she's scared Donnie loooooads of times. August is a little monkey with her family, constantly climbing them and hanging off of them. Which is fine, because her family has quick reflexes and are invested in keeping the baby safe. But it's a nerve wracking thing to see your tiny daughter scaling your giant spiky eldest brother like a mountainous jungle gym. She's also keen to play rougher than she should and doesn't have much awareness of her own limits when she's small. So there's a lot of Donnie chasing tiny August around with her "Roughhousing Shell" and demanding she wear it while August does everything in her power to Not wear it / conveniently forget where she put it or lose it / hide from Papa when he gets the Roughhousing Shell out (she doesn't like how it feels on her sensitive soft shell. That's something she'll get better about with age / experience / Donnie adjusting it to be more August friendly though). Heehee thank you for the interest in Augie! ;v; <3

[2aceofspades]

Do Leo and Usagi hate each other in the post apocalyptic future?

Not really...? They just have a bit of unresolved tension. I have a lil storyline in my head where they kinda split up a little before the apocalypse started. Usagi went back home for a few years and Leo obviously stayed behind. Usagi would have eventually caught word of what was happening in New York with the Krang and the resistance and makes the journey back to rejoin Leo. I think Usagi kind of 'convinces' himself that Leo could use the help from an old 'friend' (wink wink) and uses that as his excuse to rejoin him. In reality, Usagi misses Leo very much and wants to support him...aw.

Anywhizzle, they left off on rough terms, so Usagi's main focus was originally just to help out Leo and possibly join the resistance if necessary, not to re-kindle a relationship. However, both of them never really let go of their feelings for each other when they were apart, so they do end up getting back together. In my lil story, I imagine that they aren't actually very public or open about being back in a relationship. Especially with Leo now being the leader of the resistance, he doesn't really have time or energy to spend on an open relationship and Usagi understands and respects this. However, they do manage to find time to spend with each other and talk and do normal couple stuff to 'recuperate' away from the war. Usagi stays and doesn't leave his side, and knowing me and how I write 'stories', things will probably not end well or happily ever after for them. Then again, this is all just a lil ramble of a story that probably won't happen...so yeah

Sticking this here just cuz~

(:

[dolladooley]

the dooley davenports x black!reader | general hcs

contains: adam, bree, chase, leo

a/n: this will get zero notes but idc i am pioneering ts for lab rats. gif credit goes to him (me. bc i am him.) 💯

adam

i have always been very loud about my belief that adam marries a black woman or man in the future

and i mean LOUD

he 100% does

the first time he meets u he's like woah

prettay

he likes watching how your hair bounces as you descend the stairs or even just walking on flat ground

he likes how u speak to him

you call everyone lil nicknames so whenever u say "baby" he's like 😃

u help him with school stuff

bc you smart 💯

okayyyy scholar 😍😍😍

sorry

anyway

he loves seeing u

you anchor him

keep him from doing ridiculous shit that can get him hurt yk

turn into ur mom fr

he fidgets with his fingers a lot so he be playing in your hair

gently pulling strands so they spring back and wrapping em around his finger (ESPECIALLY when they're freshly moisturized and wet)

y'all are just saur cute to see

he's a big hugger so he rests his cheek against ur head and ur lil curls tickle him

and bonus points if you're significantly shorter than him

it's an adorable image when u hold hands

bc ur this lil person that is clearly able to easily escape restraint and u got ur tall white boy that's a lil dumb but happy to be here with u nonetheless

i love adam lawd

bree

bisexual queen

anyway

u guys become friends very quick

she complimented ur jewelry (a lil gold necklace) and u were like "aw thanks gang"

and from that u sparked a conversation and became very good friends very fast

she introduced u to her brothers, allat

u guys meet in the library every morning or u go to the nearby coffee shop before school starts

get some polite lil drinks and just.. talk :)

if you guys were to pack ur own lunches every day, y'all would do snack trades a lot

you defend her a lot against her brothers 💀

the first time you said "boy shut up" to chase she got hearts in her eyes fr /hj

when she realizes she might have a lil crush, she doesn't act too strange but she is a little bit different

she hugs for a little longer than normal, just to enjoy the scent of ur moisturizer and ur hair products

when y'all have sleepovers she always cuddles close

she loves to cook with u

u show her recipes you got from ya mama and she enjoys them every time

she stares at ur lips when u eat

and talk

and

do anything at all

they are very kissable what can she say

chase

lord.

he's infatuated

INFATUATED

he only knew leo so he had no idea black ppl could be so fine /j

the first time he sees you, a little notification in his eyebawl goes off like "heartrate rising. entering cooldown." and it's SO LOUD to him

turns out you and leo are already friends

which is NOT helpful

because now whenever you're at the house he's frantic as hell

either trying to interact with you (extremely awkwardly) or hiding in the lab so he doesn't embarrass himself further

bree would come down like "just go talk to them loser" and he's like "I CAN'T 😭😭😭😭😭😭"

when she finally forces him to quit being a punk and at least say hi, he comes upstairs to see u looking out at the view

the sun shining through their big ass windows glows gold on your skin and to him you look like a god

he flees /hj

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO ACT

he eventually pulls himself together and soon feels like a fool

because talking to you is SO EASY ?

you exude a charm he has never seen heard or experienced from anyone else before

the way u speak to him makes him melt

that being said never call him a pet name

ever

a simple "sugar" or even just "baby" will make him overheat and shut down

leo

i'm already laffing

y'all are funny as SHIT

you were classmates before the davenports came in but you weren't really friends until after they did

you helped leo show them around the school and the two of you cracked plenty of jokes along the tour

many that the bionic trio did not understand LMFAOO

you two are so fun together and everyone can see it, even the trio who be fighting for they lives whenever y'all are speaking to each other /j

leo probably tells u ab the whole bionic secret after you witness one too many close calls and the way you handle it makes his baby crush grow exponentially

like YOURE SO COOL???? DIDNT EVEN BLINK AT THIS ABSURD ASS PIECE OF INFORMATION???? GOD THEYRE COOL AS FUCK

you guys share hair information and you bring home hotel shampoo's for y'all to share LMFAO

he let you give him waves once

it was comedic

tasha loves you

she didn't know you for a while because leo never brought you up when y'all were just classmates but after y'all became actual friends, you'd get mentioned here and there

the first time he has you come over is to work on a school project

she meets you and is like omg hai i'm leo's mom

and he's kinda like 😐 pushing her away like he did in the avalanche episode with janelle LMFAO

you like "why you so mean to yo mama" and it makes him sweat /j

you like tasha too and you guys often have tea together when leo is late for y'all's lil hangouts

she gasses you up to leo all the time like he didn't know you first

"your friend, [name]? they're cute!!!" "i know mom" "go ahead and ask that out" "MOM"

he eventually does (it was actually you but he tells tasha it was him)

[callmehere-iwillappear]

rec list (last updated: 10/22/23)

aka 'if you liked [cmh] you might also like [insert other really good fic here]' bc there are So Many amazing fics out there good lird

few things. first off if you see a disaster twins bias no you don't. second i tried to find all the authors' tumblrs but there were some i couldn't - if you know any of the ones i missed let me know!

aaand third, there are just. SO many good fics i ended up splitting things up. this is the rec post for multi chapter fics, here's the one shot rec post

Multichapter Fics

Complete

A Twin Thing (@minumi-chan)

Four times Donatello rejects Leo's notion of them being twins, and the once (and future) time he embraces it.

GOD THE TWINS EVER.... funny in parts but also hurts in the best possible way and thankfully has a happy ending to soothe the pain. i literally love them so much

Because We Could Not Stop For Death (@turtleinsoup)

After Leo dies, Donnie builds an android of his twin. After Leo dies, he comes back. He does. And Donnie will not ever let him go again.

very very very very VERY heavy please mind the warnings but god. god. another take on the 'leo dies in the prison dimension' concept that btw WILL make you cry. like a lot. absolutely incredible study of grief. i am never going to be the same person after reading this

coming right on back for you (@taizi)

Rise!Mikey’s portal in the prison dimension takes Leo a little bit farther than he meant for it to. 12!Mikey finds a familiar-looking stranger.

soooo full disclosure i haven't actually watched 2012 tmnt. that said even without that, this fic rules. incredibly soft and heartwarming. i love them

Corrupted Upgrade (@dandylovesturtles)

His brothers think they don't need him anymore? Well, fine. He doesn't need them either. The old Donatello is gone. He'll build a new one. One that will make them regret they ever threw him aside. Building things is what he's good at, after all.

i can't say too much without spoiling the twist, but oh MAN guys it's real good. come get your donnie hurt/comfort juice rn. also for a hurt/comfort fic it has NO RIGHT being so funny so often

Dimensions Apart & Home Again

"Who said I'm hiding?" Leo scoffs. Normally he wouldn't take such a sharp tone, but he's tired and not in the mood for what he feels to be an interrogation in his own bedroom. "You all know where I am. I live here, remember?" “Yeah, very funny. And you know where we live. But nobody's seen you for two weeks.”

ooohhh post movie hurt/comfort my beloved... leo is isolating and donnie kicks his ass. metaphorically. mostly. meanwhile raph and mikey are also having a certified Bad Time but it's okay they all get comfort by the end

Havoc, Thy Name is Donnie

Donnie accidentally turns himself into a child while experimenting with mystic power. It's cute until Donnie gets his hands on his older self's tech and then it's really uncute and Leo and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. are having a heart attack.

child donnie is an absolute MENACE and it's INCREDIBLE. terrorizes leo. terrorizes shelldon. terrorizes some random criminals. terrorizes april. terrorizes draxum. all in the course of a single day. 12/10

how to get very good at juggling (@radishhqueen)

The Krang invasion put a couple of things in perspective for April. One of them was how much she wanted her parents to meet the Hamatos. The only difficult part is…getting her parents to meet the Hamatos.

the turtles meet april's parents! it goes... about as well as can be expected. REALLY good april centric post movie fic

little kid with a big death wish (@remedyturtles)

Leo's mind rebelled against the sensation. The heaviness burst into awareness, body, limbs, lungs, blinking. The middle distance he'd apparently been staring in focused. Leo was awake. Leo was aware. Leo was alive. Being alive wasn't something he thought he'd be.

genuinely don't think i could ever recommend this fic enough. mind the warnings as it does get very heavy but. god. idk how to express how much this fic means to me in just a few sentences but like. you'll understand if you read it (also for. an actual summary: post movie recovery fic with a side of extra leo)

Nothing Haunts Us (like the things we don't say)

The boys learn the hard way that truths can hurt. Well, some of them.

truth spellllll you love to see it! lotta post movie angst + some good comfort at the end + bonus the boys actually being emotionally vulnerable and talking about their issues (even if it's not 100% by choice)

Trial and Error (@apatheticrobots)

Leo ends up in the past. This changes some things.

YES the healing (well. eventually).... big fan of the leos' dynamic in this one. also that One Scene (the one with the animatic. if you know you know) gives me goosebumps EVERY time good god

Unfinished business

When one dies leaving something undone, there's a belief, that they do not go gentle into that good night. They linger on until they've finished what they couldn't while alive. And for four turtles, that business is using the Poltergeist movie as inspiration.

bad future ending but make it HILARIOUS. tldr the future turtles haunt the SHIT out of the krang. that's all i'm giving you because that's all you should need. they fucking rick roll them. please

Use Only For Intended Purpose (me!)

That's probably not how mind melds are supposed to work.

sorry for reccing my own fic do you still love me /j BUT FR if you like post movie disaster twins hurt/comfort with a side of dream sharing. i got u

Where in the World is Neon Leon?

Leo practices portalling on his own. This is not a good idea for many, many reasons.

set over the course of the show + the movie! aka leo trying so so hard to be seen as reliable and getting incredibly fucked up over it. also making new friends

write this down on my headstone (it wasn't what i hoped for) (@bottledovercast)

it’s as he drifts listlessly through the cold-as-shit hellscape that leo’s willing to admit, maybe this wasn’t what raph meant. aka: i do not believe for one second that there were No Problems in between getting leo out of the prison dimension and the final scene of the movie.

i genuinely do not know how to do this one justice with words. it's written impeccably and the hurt/comfort is just. chefs kiss. please read it (+ has a sequel now that's also absolutely incredible!)

In progress

At My Worst (@teainthesnow)

Future Leo ends up back in time, stuck in the body of his younger self, who is still conscious but trapped within his mind.

genuinely LOVE this concept like there's a lot of (really good) future leo goes back in time fics but i'm pretty sure this is the only one i've read with them sharing a body? god the dynamic is. SO good. one of my fave future leo + present leo dynamics ever tbh. just. chefs kiss

I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good (@dandylovesturtles)

Leo is cursed by a mystic whatever thingy. But don't worry guys, he's totally got this! Getting back into his body? Easy peasy. (He hopes it will be easy peasy.)

will smith poses fellow ghost(ish) leo fic my beloved! ngl this one kinda has a special place in my heart so i May be biased BUT even aside from that it's just. so good. the premise is so interesting and it's written super well and in character and also i would like to give leo a hug PLEASE GOOD GOD

I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? (@tangledinink)

When Hamato Yoshi is presented with the chance to return to the surface with his sons and give them a 'normal' life as humans, he takes it. He didn't think that they would forget about that whole turtle thing. But it seems kind of too late to tell them now. Surely they won't find out any other way, right?

human au! ... kind of. actually brooches au but they THINK they're human which is fine until, y'know, it's not. currently in the 'not' part of the fic and it's just going really great for everyone! you love to see it

In Which Donnie and Leo Make Themselves Everyone Else's Problem in an NYC That Isn't Even Their Own

It was a huge mistake on the Kraang's part to kidnap the wrong half of the wrong set of brothers and leave behind two very worried twins. And not just any twins. The disaster twins.

another crossover with 12tmnt which. again i have not seen, but like. this fic is just. REALLY good. it's set pre movie so there's not that trauma, it's literally just the twins fucking the 12 kraang up and living up to their nickname while the 12 turtles (and rise mikey and raph) look on in horror

i think i would prefer the prison dimension (@purplecatghostposts)

Leo gets sent to the Kraang Apocalypse Future that he really didn’t want to think about. Future Leo, Mikey, and Donnie are absolutely baffled by him. Nobody is happy.

you've heard of future leo in the present, now get ready for: present leo in the future! he gets dragged into the apocalypse instead of getting pulled out of the prison dimension back to his brothers and boy he is, understandably, Not Thrilled!

Last Grain of Sand in the Hourglass (@last-hourglass)

The one where the Hamato family is freaking the fuck out, Leo is lost in the Prison Dimension, and a very-time-displaced Leonardo refuses to leave his younger self behind. (Oh, and there may be some mystic hauntings afoot. You know, the usual result of messing with the space-time continuum.)

future leo gets saved while present leo stays in the prison dimension! there's A Lot going on in this one and half of it is BIG spoilers but just. oh my god. this shit is SO well written i am eating it

Mikey's Jam-Packed, Guaranteed to Get Donnie's Memory Back, Friendship Tour!

Donnie wakes up without his memory one day and everyone panics. They're just going to have to jog his memory the old-fashioned way! Through the power of friendship! [And a small (I was wrong. A very large) degree of violence and shenanigans]

donnie gets amnesia and SO SO MANY shenanigans ensue. also a tiny bit of angst but it's fine

Minor Interference (@bambiraptorx)

The turtles accept Draxum's offer to train them. Little does he know that they're only going to use it mess with him.

haha draxum accidental dad moments... well okay not entirely just yet but he's getting there! the turtles are PEAK teenager literally just causing problems on purpose and it's incredible

Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis (@mutantninjamidlifecrisis)

In the midst of attempting to make peace with his death at the hands of the Krang, Master Leonardo is suddenly yeeted over two decades into the past, courtesy of his little brother.

YEAAHHH another future leo fic! mans gets dropped into the past and IMMEDIATELY kidnapped and brainwashed so things are going great (it's fine he gets better. you know how it is)

odd man out (@threestripeslider)

The one where Future!Leo somehow managed to luck out on a one in a million mere millisecond chance of a freak glitch in the space-time continuum that sends him back into the present, where the Invasion has been successfully driven back. And it looks like it was a one-way ticket travel.

DAD FUTURE LEO MY BELOVED.... he really took one look at these kids and said is anyone else gonna give them a third (3) dad and did not wait for an answer. also big fan of casey's high school adventures LMAO

Power Up

Leo also gets healing hands like his 2k12 counterpart. Sadly, they end up backfiring on him. Who needs to know though?

leo taking 'it's not about me' to the extreme. good god please get this kid some therapy and self worth. the AGONIES

The Lemonade Leak (@turtleinsoup)

The one in which Leo can’t sleep without his swords, because there is a monster in his room, pretending to be Donnie.

oh man. oh MAN. legit one of my fave fics out there. i'm not usually a big thriller person but this one GETS ME + the way the author writes the different perspectives is just. chefs kiss. genuinely has me on the edge of my seat every single update

The Neon Void

Five years. It's been five years. Hamato Leonardo was back. But he was no longer who he once was.

krangified leo! ... sort of. absolutely delicious angst and also i want to rattle leo's brothers. TALK TO EACH OTHER

Three-Sided Coin (@leglessstreetlights)

Highly self-indulgent fic where I put Leo, Future!Leo, and TurtleTot!Leo in the same room until they hug

what the description says! room is a bit of a stretch and present leo is fresh out of the prison dimension So There's That. some really sweet moments in this one though. tiny leo my beloved

this year we lost our dear brother leonardo

The aftermath of the Krang, and of pulling Leo out of the portal. 90% comfort and silly banter.

this is a series not a single wip but i'm saying it counts because i love it a lot. hope this helps <3 yeah what it says on the tin. immediately post movie family hours you love to see it

Times Five

Leo gets struck by a mystic beam that splits him into five parts of himself; literally.

god the TWIST. still losing my mind over it. the whole thing honestly. lotta dealing with leo's complicated emotions about the invasion and himself, really really good tbh

Write Me Well, My Love, Write Me Weird

When stories start popping up on various media outlets of the Turtleman, New York Cities own personal cryptid, most of the world shrugged. To the citizens of New York? fear, excitement, adoration for this odd and lovable creature. Everyone is quick to share stories and memories of their encounters, much to lament of Turtleman's older brother.

leo and donnie get spotted by humans (more than once) and said humans post about it on social media, as humans tend to do. raph is Not Thrilled. angst (and eventual comfort) ensues

[yourpsicodelicbitch]

Venus signs at different degrees 💕 pt 3

Requests 🌂 pt2

This picture is from Pinterest.

Aquarius venus at 0°

0° indicates that the energy of the sign in that specify planet intensifies. You evidence all those traits of the sign, in a very pure manner. This degree is “The Ingress” degree -“when the planet moves into a new sign”-, people born with this degree in a personal planet are considered new souls, they’re beginning something new, not lived before. Why do I recall it? Because they have to experience a large journey, full of errors and learning. In this case, everything that Venus and Aquarius rules. How we approach in relationships -attachment to others-, what give us pleasure, our ability to attract -and what we’re attracted to-, arts, gifts-how we spend money-, between others (Venus). It’s about to discover yourself in this field, and could be that this one take an importante role in your life. Aquarius: humanitarian, independent, original sign -I’m gonna pass this part because- OMFG I CALL YOU OUT STOP CHANGING FOR YOUR PARTNERS -too personal🧍-. A partner is someone that appreciates and loves you; would call you out every fucking error you do that you think it’s correct, would encourage you to change and progress, to not stay in one stage of mind and to LET YOU BE YOURSELF. Someone that accepts you, even if you’re too quirky, cringe and unique, no one can handle you -sure you think like that don’t deny it🌝-, with your fucking stubborn opinions and self. Since 11H rules Aquarius, it makes sense. 11 house stellium people have something called people-pleaser illness. With all your heart you wanted, want or would want to be part of a group, community. In this case, you change yourself to fit in what your partner would like to. THATS NOT THE WAY. Without counting that, they want you to appreciate -not appreciate, being on your knees- to their future-thinking self. They want you to admire their mindset so much. Their god complex is tremendous. Don’t lie to me, at least one time you -the ones that are reading this- have been attracted to that detached/aloof approach, nature. It’s their thing. That’s what call the attention -the hoes-. I imagine this placement as a “friends to lovers” quote: they need you to be one. If not either they’re going to put you first or their friends -most common-, no in between. It stressed me how tf they’re so logical, and with this degree GOD, it’s going to be VERY difficult if you want to have an emotional conversation with this person. They process every feeling into logical -unless they have a dominant water/fire chart-, and they expect you to act the same. I’m not gonna keep describing them🙄. If I do I’m gonna throw up a paragraph and call out all their things. Just be yourself, be fun, have fun, admire them, tell them how you love their mindset, that it’s superior, give them space and BOOM💥 you got them -just kidding but yes🤪😧-.

Leo venus at 5° 17° or 29° (leo degree)

If they love you, everyone will know. They would like to, to presume you, to people know you’re with them: showing their intentions and their dynamic towards and with you. Showing how they act and treat you normally. They’re fun to be with, they are popular -and if they’re not, people know about them or sympathize with because of their charismatic nature-. They are self-expressive. They want to be with you all day, but it’s their way to show you interest, that they want to know you more, they want to experience every moment with you. Because they’re SO LOYAL. And they’re the type of lover that catch you and never let you go. Unless you don’t value how they treat you -because of all the people they could easily get, they wanted YOU. They fucking know how to get what they want-. If you don’t point out how good they’re, if you don’t do an amount of effort to know them, to counteract the way they love you and treat you -couldn’t be in the same extrovert and enormous way they do, but in your way (in a nature and not forced)-. It’s really important to mention this: people constantly treat leo venus with a fake smile or an attitude that’s it’s pretended to counteract the fact that leo venus + leo degree are this spontaneous and charismatic people. It’s not nature -the way other people respond to them-. And people with this placement -I think- is so tired of others acting like that. So if you want them, show yourself, your true self, the way you naturally are, it doesn’t matter if you’re totally opposite compare to them. They would really appreciate someone being true to themselves and showing that they care about them without trying to copy their attitude -being people pleaser-. They need someone that loves them in their way, that’s how they need to be loved. But yes they need A LOT of expressions of approval coming from their partner. You’re never going to get bored. If you like going to multiple places, try new things…The little joys with them and the caring moments would be IT. And with double leo energy, it’s TREMENDOUS: you view the love they have to you million miles away. If you’re someone that can’t take them, just don’t. 😟

Scorpio venus at 10° or 22° (capricorn degree)

First of all, mommy?? daddy??? whatever you are just-no, im gonna control and stop myself-. Just 🥵-nah im joking but YOU ARE SO ATTRACTIVE. I would say “imo” but you give THAT aura, THAT vibe that make people fall/drool for you -but also depends on the personality of the person..-. Scorpio + Capricorn, the combination screams dominant. I’m gonna let you think about it… Their dedication towards their partner is incredible -and in a different way towards their loved ones-. Their commitment is in ANOTHER LEVEL. I warn you, if you love your freedom, your space, this people is not for you😄. They are SO controlling, they LOVE having control -they won’t admit it, they couldn’t even be aware of it-. They want to know where you were, who you talked to, every detail about your life before they met you. But before everything, with this capricorn degree, they’re cautious, they take their time getting to know you: they want to be 100 % sure/decided before they take the next step. They’re so brave for going full, 100% when it comes to someone they love. To protect them, to make everything they can to make sure they are safe, comfortable, in their best; to please their needs -and them-. Also they are going to present you to their family and friends, they’re showing you -they need their approval and them to know about you-. If they are with you, they’re fucking serious, they want to build something with you… I love that their way of loving is not forced: it’s shameless, showing all that necessity towards you and then acting all fearless. You would feel SO LOVED, but that love will be felt -as it’s so intense, it would come with hard feelings, such as negative and positive-. If they hurt you, your heart will burn and if you feel loved by them, you will fly -I don’t know if I’m making myself understand-. With this degree they want to be seen as they’re fine, that they are stable, they don’t want to be seen as vulnerable. This combo increases traits that both of these signs share: controlling, trust issues and slow-burn -another quote because it describes perfectly how I imagine a relationship that would benefit them and I have read a lot of fanfics these days-.There could be disagreements coming from jealous. Trust is key. Growing it -the trust- could be difficult and even when you have a healthy relationship with them, the jealous will always be present. They just want to keep you safe you know? 🤗😆Look it that way. But being serious, your perspective of them could change or open your mind viewing all the things this placement have to went through -and don’t view it like “😢oh poor baby🥺”. NO. They hate that and so do I. Embrace them, be proud of them, for how they could overcome those situations and now are here-. I’m going to tell you a secret and don’t tell them I told you🤫: you’re so fucking special to them, they don’t want anything to happen to you, NEVER. They don’t want you to feel even an aproximity of pain they had to felt. It would take time, so they can finally realize and accept that errors would happen, and that you must have your own experience to grow. So please, they love you and they could not be direct about it, but it’s their way to care about you. Don’t force them when it comes to express their worries/traumas, it’s SO difficult to them -also they will cut you off with their words and will be really cruel-. It’s okay to feel that way, just make sure you put an effort in getting better and let your partner -and the ones that surround you- know, let them know what you need: could be space, that’s difficult for you to talk about those topics, etc. Let them know.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

•This is based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

•English is not my first language.

•I’m not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[turrondeluxe]

Hey ik on that "equally distribute the horrors" post, a lot of people were talking about Mikey needing horrors (tbh he deserves some, they all need equal rights to the horrors.), but I've never seen anyone even talk about the horrors for Raph? Maybe that's just me and my web experience tho. (If you have any examples of Raph dealing with the horrors pls list them, my cousin ((who also says Mikey needs more horrors, at least)) and I are desperate)

ah that's probably because i specified mikey in the tags because im a mikey enjoyer who is followed principally by more mikey enjoyers teeheee

but huh

i guess i understand what you mean

in terms of Raph Horrors™ we have

mmmm i unfortunately won't include every single horror from every single tmnt iteration out there. there's too many for me to remember all the specific raph horrors from each of them rn so i'll just list some random ones off the top of my head 😺

Feel free to add more to the raph horrors list! lol

Mirage

- Raphael gets progressively demutated and basically reverts to a normal turtle for a while

(the panels of when this was happening were actually very emotive and made me cry) he does say this when he's back to normal which i find very funny tho

90's movies

- Raph gets beaten the fuck up and then gets thrown trough a skylight. He's then placed in a bath tub while he heals (Leo is the one who never leaves his side on this iteration)

2003

- Nearly injures Mikey greatly with a metal tube because of anger (He feels really bad about this and i def think this moment never truly left his brain ever)

- Getting kidnapped by footbots, getting interrogated by Hun

- All the fights with shredder or karai/all the injuries gotten in all the fights with shredder or karai

- Same As It Never Was Raph

- Watching his injured older brother get thrown to a window and watch said older brother heal from his wounds

- Seeing himself as the shredder/ thinking himself as the shredder

- Got his home raided countless times

- Getting separated from his younger brothers + dad in one of said times and waiting alone in the surface without knowing if his family even made it out alive

- Witnessed dad get disintegrated

- Brainwashed (actually getting infected with a digital virus but eh). Him and his brothers are foot ninjas for an unspecified amount of time (maybe days). During this, shredder sends the brothers to the most mortal/difficult missions in hopes that they die under his command.

- Getting thrown into the future (Raph is the one brother who hates this event the most lmao)

2007

- Witnesses older brother get kidnapped and blames himself for it

2011 IDW

- Raph gets separated from his family before mutating. Spends years homeless and by himself before his brothers find him again (this forever makes raph feel that even if he's with his family. he somehow doesn't belong)

- Right after getting mutated he spent some time being cared by Buck (blind homeless guy that is the first person ever/parent figure that's nice to Raph). Watches Buck get beaten to death. (Possibly. Buck did survive but i can't remember if he did die because of his injuries. still. traumatizing to raph that was still fairly new to the world)

- Forced to be family warrior/protector (he doesn't want this, he just wants to be a farmer man 😔👊)

- Witnessed shredder stab Casey (Raph's bestie/first ever friend that he relates to)

- Had to fight against brainwashed brother (Foot Leo)

- Witnessed Donnie's corpse (would def fuck u up if you feel like the protection of your family is your responsibility)

- Gets kidnapped and experimented with/tortured

- Dad dies, rip 🕊️

2012

- Losing Spike (he literally stayed 15 years underground with only his family for company. spike meant so much to him)

- Watching mikey get hurt because of his bad leadership literally made him freeze up and not know what to do at all

- The whole scene of splinter letting his brothers insult him. what the hell 💀

- Fighting his (brainwashed/hypnotized?) dad

- Cockroach mutant

- THE FUCKED UP SQUIRRELS

- Watching his older brother get thrown trough a window (the sequel). And watching said older brother be extremely injured.

- Leo 3 month coma

- GETTING TURNED INTO A PLANT?

- Brainwashed via worm that ate all the way through his skull and into his brain

- Dad dies, rip 🕊️ the sequel (this happens quite a bit in the series) and hil being in the front row of how splinter gets mortally wounded and then thrown off the roof

- Fighting his family while brainwashed

- kidnapped and being put into an oven to die (and would have died if leo didn't go ham and destroyed his enclosure)

- Witnessed someone kill himself while he was actively trying to prevent it

- Witnessing the death of both two little brothers

- Witnessing older brother nearly die. Again (Again. this happens quite a bit in the series)

- the whole mutant bomb apocalypse holy shit

theres def more that im forgetting mb

Bayverse

- Home gets raided, the sequel

- All brothers get kidnapped except for him

- BROKEN SHELL BECAUSE OF SHREDDER AND HE JUST KEEPS GOING???? please..............take one second to rest THATS YOUR SPINE

Rise

- Eldest sister syndrome

- The fucking bunny plushie that I've forgotten the name of (his siblings were so mean for no reason at all that ep 😭)

- Rise shredder

- Having to forcefully remove his family from deathly situation even if it meant leaving a beloved family member behind (he prob blames himself about karai ....augh)

- Kidnapped/taken hostage (?)

- Kraang Brainwashed

- Having to fight younger brother while brainwashed

- Apocalyptic Kraang Future

The last ronin

- Died for literally no reason at all . fly high king 🕊️

Mutant mayhem

- Getting kidnapped (quite violently too)

- Milking Machine

- Getting shell cracked from being squished too hard

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Solar return chart observation (on my own chart) 🦄🧚‍♀️

TW : Eating disorder, suicide, mental health problems

• So, my birthday was in June and the following SR placements are some placements which are quite accurate with my current life and situations so far. This is my own observation and experience so please take this with a pinch of salt.

♥︎ SR moon in capricorn - Since my birthday, I've been feeling like I'm bottling up my feelings and closing off myself. I became much more quieter than I'd ever been and showing my emotions to other people feel vulnerable for me. And I also feel very lonely without a particular reason. I also often feel like I'm not getting enough freedom and feel suffocated too much. And I don't know I feel like my feelings are all tangled up at times and I sometimes have suicidal thoughts too. Mental problems occured a lot. Occurring till now. I don't feel productive at all with this placement but in upcoming months I will be productive maybe because my university year is starting after 3 or 4 months from now.

♥︎ SR moon in SR 5th house - Well, I've been flirtatious since my birth month specifically. And I also often get feelings like "Ok I want to go on dates" and I always want to have fun, go to amusement parks, hang out with friends, go to parties and all of those leo-themed stuffs. I've become a bit playful since then and in my mind, I'm always desiring to go out and have fun. Home feels like a prison for me at this moment. Plus, I also got a boyfriend recently and what makes it crazier is that my august lunar return chart's rising sign is taurus which is a bit of an indicator of getting into a relationship with someone (since it is ruled by venus) and I got into a relationship with him 5 days ago. I.N.S.A.N.E.

♥︎ SR moon in natal 6th house - I'm currently stressed out a lot about my future and my everything by observing at how I'm staying unproductive all day long, laying on the couch and not focusing enough on my daily routines. I feel like I'm not using my time usefully and wasting my teenage years in this non-sense all types of s**t. I'm not very conscious about my habits but I'm focusing a lot on my health and my eating habits.

♥︎ SR venus in SR 9th house - I'm having this strong urge to travel (not necessarily abroad) and I'm also taking a lot of interest in learning other country's cultures, traditions, food and stuff. I also want to meet people from different countries, cultures and ethnicities. Oh and my boyfriend is also from different ethnicity so maybe that counts too?

♥︎ SR Jupiter in SR 8th house conjunct my natal mars - I received tons of money (a huge transformation in my finances) as a reward for my hard work. I passed my high school final exam with high marks and my grannies awarded me with money due to this. The state, the region and my school awarded me with money too. Not boasting though haha 😂

♥︎ SR pluto in SR 6th house-This is really serious. I lost 25 pounds in 2 months and I'm currently having or at the risk of having an eating disorder. In my country, most people don't know about ED and when I told my mom, she even laughed at it and just said "then eat more", so I'm not finding a way to cure this at this point. I know this is not the right way because EDs are not just about food, it's more mental-related and also food of course. However, therapists are also considered as clowns in my country mostly and treatments for ED are also really rare, so I'm just trying to keep it by myself. I'm sorry if this is triggering for some people. But it's impacting enormously on my health and my diet and my routines. I know this is soo wrong but I just can't fix this so please don't blame me 🥺. I don't know how this started because at first, I was just trying to reduce my intake of food like normally going on a diet but gradually, I became more and more obsessed about calories counting and my weight. I have body image and self-esteem issues. Plus, I also have my natal pluto in 6th house so maybe it's really doubling up. I'm neither blaming on astrology nor giving a reason for my ED but sorry. Alright, enough for this topic.

♥︎ SR Leo rising - I am feeling more confident than ever (maybe but not really because I just cried for having a flat ass about 10 minutes ago so..) and people perceive me as a cheerful and bubbly girl during this period so far even my inner mind is not like that right now. I also gained some type of recognition from my peers and my teachers and my relatives because of my academic results. I also kinda want attention from other people lately honestly but it's not like a hunger for it though.

This is a bit chaotic but I hope you enjoyed reading this and thank you so much for reading to the end!! I love you all and stay safe and healthy! ❤️

∧,,,∧

(  ̳• · • ̳)

/    づ♡ I love you all

[leomeoi]

Happier

The title is from the song "Happier" by Marshmello Bastille. The lyrics "I want you to be happier. Know that means I'll have to leave." spoke to me. Please read the wonderful @tapakah0's comic and watch the amazing animatic they did that this work is inspired from. (Please forgive any out of characterness or grammar mistakes, I had no Beta Reader and wrote this in one sitting.) Thank you so much to Tapakah for drawing this amazing comic and answering my questions, as well as allowing me to write a fic for their work.

Oh, obligatory warning. This is angst. There is major character death, violence, and sadness. It ends unhappy (for now.) Proceed with caution and make informed decisions!

Click here for a link to the Archive Of Our Own version!

--------------------------------------------

Today's a big day.

Arguably, every day that they go out to fight the Krang that have infiltrated every nook, cranny, and crevice of their lives all those years ago is a big day. Raphael can't help but feel the bone-crushing load of responsibility that weighs down on his shoulders as he watches the hubbub of activity from the head. As he scans the faces of each person—human and mutant alike—with his one good eye, Raph feels as if his shell might just crack. He's not naive. There's nothing normal about this. He knows that they won't be able to save everyone, there'll be casualties. Their days are numbered, and the world just isn't fair in that way. The Krang aren't merciful. It could be anyone that they lose, there's no off-limits, and there's no way of predicting what shade of grief they'll experience today. As more and more days go by, Raphael can't shake the feeling that every victory they have is just a pyrrhic one. Even still, they fight. Everyone currently in the shelter of this hangar does. They all hope for a better future, a chance to reclaim all that they lost and there's not a single person who isn't willing to sacrifice it all. There's nothing more important than to ensure the success of this battle they're about to fight in the world war they've been waging against the invading advanced alien species.

He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to think about all the people that they've lost. It sends ripples of agony tearing through his chest, a physical ache that he can feel permeate even his plastron. It's a horrid fact that death is actually the most merciful thing the Krang can gift them with. They've lost countless others to infection, the result of that blasted plague yielding pink, fleshy atrocities, the host twisted and manipulated into a mere shell of their former self. They cannot be qualified as a person by then, bestial creatures hellbent on destruction and controlled by the very violators that infected them to begin with. It's a fate worse than death, the loss of will and self; they move only to the will impressed upon them. Raph's arms cross even tighter across his broad chest, his teeth grinding. The cold metal of his right arm reminds him that he's gotten off lucky. His fingers dig into his elbows as he stands, a grim and foreboding figure against the thoughts that plague his mind. He knows that he's gotten lost under the pressure of his thoughts when he stirs only at a warm touch against his forearm.

"Raph? You okay, big man?"

The sound of Leo's voice snaps him out of it further. His tone is bright, but Raph can hear the undertow of concern. Raph tears his gaze away from the milling crowd and looks down, meeting his brother's gaze. Even though it's been years, Raphael still can't help the flare of pride every time he sees Leo and how much he's changed over the years. It seems like yesterday that Raphael had to scold, nag, and practically plead with his younger sibling to get him to take things seriously. He knows that being the leader was a pressure that Leonardo never wanted, but once he's received it, he'd learned the gravity of the role. Sometimes, Raph thinks Leonardo has outgrown him, just the way that Raphael thought he would. A lesser turtle would have broken under the pressure, but Leonardo is as strong as he is stubborn. He stands against the test of time and loss, brave and unrelenting. He now leads with a certainty that has saved them on numerous occasions, and Raphael truly couldn't be prouder of how much he's grown into the role given to him.

Leonardo must see the way Raph's eyes soften because the sharp grin on his face loses its charming edge, too. Raph's chest feels tight as if his heart would burst out from the confines of his plastron. It's an entirely different reason than just a few seconds before when the grim reality was moments from overwhelming him.

He really is so proud.

"Yeah, Raph's okay. Just thinking." Raphael flashes his snaggletooth in a wide smile, and Leo mirrors it.

Normally, the conversation would end there. Raph wasn't the best at expressing his feelings, and Leonardo was even less so. He doesn't have the same connection to Leo that Donatello seems to have—they are self-proclaimed twins after all. They communicate almost solely on looks and gestures as if that's enough to convey exactly what it is they want to say. They leave nearly everything unsaid, but that's simply not something Raph can do. It's easy to communicate with Mikey; he's the best of them all. Still, there's so much that he wants to say to Leo, but it's almost time to leave. Raph can tell by the way things are quieting, the chaos of getting prepared sinking into the hum of calm and determined poise. Even with it all, Raphael is gripped with the unshakable feeling that he simply needs to get out. He doesn't know what it is, but it's an undeniable urge.

Leonardo's about to turn away. Despite the eternity that Raph feels like he just went through in his struggle to find the right words, mere seconds have passed. Raph decides that he doesn't need pretty words like Donnie, or the innate ability Mikey has to say exactly what a turtle needs to hear. Leo will understand. He knows Raph. He knows that they're connected and understand each other in a way that only those who have and are responsible for the lives of many can.

"Leo," he starts, and Raph almost winces at how serious he sounds. Leo blinks at the sudden change in tone, but he doesn't falter. His easy grin changes almost immediately, and the fact he no longer tries to deflect serious conversation with humor when it comes to Raphael brings yet another wave of pride. Leo stands before him, waiting. He's listening.

Raphael nods to himself, lifting a hand to place on Leonardo's shoulder. He squeezes and shakes Leo lightly, a reassuring gesture. His snaggletooth makes even more of an appearance as he smiles wide. "Raph is so proud. You've kicked ass and grown. You don't need lil ol' me anymore. I could not be more proud."

Surprise flits through Leo's eyes before it's replaced by something else. His gaze is piercing, eyes dark and almost unreadable. Almost. In another time, Raph wouldn't have ever thought that he'd know Leo so well. The feeling is potent, and Raph can feel it, too. It charges him with strength, and a new lightness finds his spirit. The iron trust that Leo has in him shines in his eyes, and Raphael had almost felt too small to withstand the weight of it once. Now, it gives Raph the strength he needs to continue on.

It seems to have been the right time to say what he was thinking.

Leonardo's shoulders square, and he seems to grow even taller before Raphael's very eyes. "Don't kid yourself, Raph," Leo chuckles. He slaps at Raph's arm lightly with a pat. "I'll always need my big brother." They both laugh at that, the serious mood broken up as their chortles sound in the room. With that, Leonardo turns away, moving his attention to something else that they need to be as prepared as they ever will be. Raph doesn't really concern himself with that anymore unless Leo needs him to. Bolstered by warmth, Raph knows that he needs to make his own rounds. He walks through the crowd, and people part way for him to accommodate his bulk. He stops and talks to a few, bumps elbows with April, and high-fives Cassandra. Somewhere along the line, Cass and Raph had grown closer. Undoubtedly, it was because of a certain young individual they spent any spare moment they had with.

Somewhere in the middle of that, Raph finds who he's looking for. "Donnie," he calls, and his brother whirls towards him. Donnie's battle shell remains engaged in what seems to be furious typing, his purple holographs buzzing with ninpo. A fond smile lights up Raph's face—even in the midst of preparing for a big battle, Donatello is always moving. His mind is always working, and Raphael wonders if it's because it's so loud that Donnie rarely ever sleeps.

"Raph," Donnie greets, the lenses of his red and blue goggles whirring as they adjust to parse Raph. Then, Donnie groans. "What did Nardo break now? I swear, I told him I'm gonna kick his shell if he breaks one more damn thing, so he decides to send you to break the news? I'm gonna find him-" He starts to grouse, and Raphael is sent into a frenzy trying to placate him.

"No, no! Leo didn't break nothin'. Just... Raph just wanted to talk to you. Before everything." Raphael shrugs, his hands outstretched and spread to show his surrender. Donatello squints and it's obvious that he's suspicious. His drawn-on eyebrows arch, and Raphael can't help but laugh again. There is no doubt that Donatello is the most expressive one of them all. His eyebrows only add to his charm, and over the years, he's grown into his skin even more. Raph thinks that Donatello is also the one to hide his emotions the most, choosing pragmatism and logic over the pursuit of emotions at all times. It's also why Raph thinks that Donatello's mask—the persona that he adopts—rivals Leo's.

In truth, Donatello is generous. He's a genius, a maniacal scientist, and Raph knows that his mind works in ways unmatched. He knows that it's because Donnie is Donnie that they've been able to maintain a semblance of a life. Raph knows that Donnie works himself to the bone for them, and fixes every problem that crops up that others don't even know where to begin. The thing with Donnie is that he's so, so generous, with a heart that's about as soft as his shell. Raph knows that he doesn't want anyone to know. Donnie gives them his all every day, every minute, and every second. It's enough for Raph to worry that one day, Donnie will give, give, and give until there's nothing left. Raphael has always silenced that voice, knowing that it comes from a selfish part of Raph that wants his brothers cared for, apocalypse be damned. Now, though. Raph thinks he can convey what he wants to say to Donnie at least once in a way that he can't be misunderstood.

Taking Donnie's suspicious look in stride, Raphael reaches up to rap his knuckles against his metal prosthetic. It makes a sharp sound each time he does, and Raph grins in spite of it all. "I know I've said this already, but Dontron... Thanks again. I know that this-" Raph gestures to all around him, and then again to his arm, "-couldn't have happened without you." Donnie seems to have been caught off guard by the sincere way Raphael is saying what he wants to say. Still, he recovers fast.

"Why, of course. I'm glad you realize that you need my brilliant mind and recognize that this is all in courtesy of the great Donatello, a.k.a. moi." Donatello's eyes are half-moons, his goggles retreating to the top of his head. His grin is smug, but Raph can see the genuine curls of delight that cause the corners of the said grin to twitch into an almost smile. Donatello's arms outstretch to gesture to the entire facility, and the simple movement makes him look bigger than life. It's grandiose, enthusiastic, and just as bombastic as Raph would have expected Donnie to respond with. Raphael doesn't bother stopping the laugh that escapes him, and his deep laughter seems to infect Donnie, too. He laughs with Raph, a small rumble mixed with the beginnings of a chirp. After the laughter dies down, Donnie gives Raph another grin. "Okay, now that you have me sufficiently buttered up, what did you break?" Donnie asks, his voice teasing. Raphael recognizes it for the jest that it is, and he snorts again.

"I keep tellin' you, nothing's broke!" Raphael's hands lift and they settle on Donatello's shoulders. He can't be too serious. Donnie will be too busy trying to make light of the words leaving Raph's mouth in his mind to truly understand what he's trying to say. Raph smiles. "Just tryna say thank you, Dontron. You're right, we need your brilliant mind, but that's not all we need," he gently reminds the younger turtle. "You're our Donnie, too. Our brother. Raph just wants to make sure that you take care of yourself, too. Less coffee, more sleep." He shrugs, his voice light. For a moment or two, Donnie says nothing. His eyes are wide, fixated on Raph's. It's enough to make Raph nervous and wonder if he's gone too far, but his fears are dispelled when Donnie's shoulders slump slightly under his hands.

"When did you turn all Dr. Feelings? Isn't that Michelangelo's job?" Donnie jokes and makes a face, but his voice shakes just enough to convey that he understands what Raph is trying to say. Raphael chooses to act mock-offended, going along with the bit.

"Hey! Are you saying Raph can't say that he loves his brothers?" He huffs, and Donnie rolls his eyes. The heavier moment dispels and Donnie's attention is suddenly needed elsewhere, judging by the beeping that he can hear. Raph lets his hands fall from Donatello's shoulders.

"Duty calls. No rest for the wicked." Donnie sighs, somehow dramatic and sincere at the same time. His eyes are closed as he says this, but he peeks out at Raph. That's enough for Raph to spot the gentle glint in his brother's eye. "But..." he intones, combining the sound with another sigh. "I'll try." Raph grins.

"All I ask." He nods, and Donnie hums. He's reorienting himself, Raph has heard that noncommital hum too many times to not know. "I'll see you later, Dontron," Raphael says before he loses Donnie in a string of mutters, and Donnie gives him a wave as his goggles return to his face, already focusing on what had pulled him away.

Raphael keeps walking. He dodges children, people, and mutants. It's not easy with his build, and he sticks out like a sore thumb from size alone. Still, it's not enough to deter him from finding Mikey. Mikey's as easy to spot as it is to spot Raph in a crowd. His powerful ninpo rolls off him in waves, mysticality crackling under his fingertips. It surges through his entire body, and it's almost impossible to miss. He's often haloed in a golden light, something that's as warm as his spirit. Over the years, Mikey has only grown more powerful, but with his abilities, so does his wisdom. Mikey is no longer just the goofy turtle he'd been before; he is wise beyond his years, capable, and strong. He's the inspiration within the Resistance, the ever-burning beacon of hope. Raph has leaned on him for support more times than he can count, and Mikey has more than once single-handedly born the grief of hundreds after a bad battle. Many turn to him for guidance now.

Raph finds him in the exact position that he thought he would.

"Mikey," he says, trying to hold back laughter. At Raph's voice, Mikey looks up, expression bright.

"Raph! Hiya, bud. Apparently, my hair's getting too long!" He says, voice full of cheer and contentment. He's surrounded by an ethereal glow, and floating. His legs are crossed, and there is a gaggle of giggling children running around him. They dip below him from where he's floating, dodging each other while they play tag. The innocence of the view seems to heal all the old wounds and the scars littering Raph's heart momentarily. There's another taller child with her fingers in Mikey's hair, and upon closer inspection, she's braiding it. Mikey already has multiple little braids here and there in his hair, and it's a sight that makes Raph's caught laughter burst free.

"Really? Raph thinks it's fine." He tilts his head as he inspects Mikey, and he's sure his expression mirrors Mikey's. Raph edges closer before he sits down with a mighty groan, and maybe a bit of a heavier thud than he'd wanted. The children crow as the ground shakes a little when Raph sits down, and he's swarmed. They crawl all over his legs, chattering excitedly, and Raph sits and listens. He and Michelangelo both do. They bask in the simple joy that the children exude. They ask him all kinds of questions, and Raph answers the best he can. They tell him nonsensical stories, about everything Mikey has been telling them, stories of times before the Krang. It's a bittersweet experience, knowing that there's a chance that these children will never experience what they had. Still, the tenacity and hope these children hold to someday seeing all that they've been told of is infectious. It reminds him of something their dad has always told them.

Hope is a ninja's greatest weapon.

Eventually, the children go off to Mikey's gentle shooing, as if he knows that Raphael has something important to say. The bond they share is close to the silent bond that Leonardo and Donatello share. In the past, Raphael and Michelangelo had clashed on more than one occasion. Raph knows he could be overprotective. He had been, back then, and Raph is old enough to admit that. Michelangelo had been the youngest, and even though he still is, Raphael trusts that he can protect himself now. That he can protect all of them. More than anything, Raph trusts Mikey with the Resistance. He trusts Mikey with their family. It's an all-encompassing trust that's hard to explain, even if he tries. After the Krang, after they'd been forced to grow, their relationship had changed forever. It was for the better. They'd grown closer, and the need for verbal communication has nearly faded from existence. Michelangelo can read Raph like a book. Even now, he waits for Raphael to collect his thoughts because he knows that his older brother has something to say. Raphael is grateful for it, just like all the times before.

After another few moments of silence, Raph wordlessly leans. He leans enough that their shoulders touch. He can feel the warmth spilling from Michelangelo, and it's comforting in ways that he can't describe. Mikey hums, but he doesn't say anything. His short braids are slowly coming loose, and they both stare from the sidelines as their people gather the rowdy children, scooping them up for hugs and kisses. Raph swallows. The heavy feeling from earlier returns. How many of these children would end up orphaned after this fight? He ignores a palpable thought about Casey Jr. that flits through his mind as fast as lightning. He doesn't want to think about that now. Raphael knows that Mikey can sense the dread that is approaching, the muted fear and grief that is already threatening his horizon. In front of Mikey, Raphael doesn't really find the need to appear as strong as he feels he needs to be around everyone else. He knows Mikey understands.

"Mikey," he starts, his voice suddenly hoarse around the lump in his throat. Michelangelo doesn't respond, just nudges his shoulder into Raph's harder. Raph takes a deep breath. He needs to say what he actually has on his mind, or he might burst. He's mentioned it to Donatello before, but Donnie hadn't let him finish. He'd dismissed the notion, he'd been angry with Raph for thinking such things. Raph hadn't broached the subject again. Now, he thinks it's a good time to. "If Raph doesn't make it back, please take care of our family." He smiles, feeling a hot pressure starting to build behind his eye. He knows that it's tears. Michelangelo still doesn't say anything. Raph presses on. "If- Donnie said somethin’ before about the mission goin' wrong and said that it's likely going to be Leo who's out for the count. I dunno if Donnie's goin' to be right, but it's Donnie. He probably is." He laughs, trying to free some of the building pressure in his throat. He swallows, again. Harder this time.

"Don't let Leo blame himself. Or Donnie. An'... An' I don't want you blaming yourself either. Okay?" Raph finally turns his head to look at Mikey and finds that Mikey is staring at him. Michelangelo is looking at him with a pained expression on his face. He doesn't bother hiding it. He knows what Raph is talking about, and even if he doesn't interrupt, Raph knows that Mikey is struggling already with the thought of something going awry. "I know it's goin' to be hard. But... But you're the strongest of us all, Mikey. In here." Raph reaches over, placing a hand over his brother's plastron. "They're gonna need you. It's not fair, I know. But they are. Just... Just remember me for me, an' the good things. Keep goin'. Keep them goin'." Raph's smile is trembling, he knows. He sees Michelangelo struggle for a moment or two before he feels and sees Mikey let out a harsh, near-guttural breath. His eyes are glassy as if he's holding back tears. Then, Mikey nods.

"Okay," Mikey whispers. Raphael keeps the smile on his face and nods back. Then, Raphael pulls Mikey into a hug. He hugs him tight, and he can't help but notice just how small Mikey is compared to him. He feels even more sorrowful, knowing that Mikey is still the youngest but Raph is asking so much from him. He's come to realize and know that Mikey is incredibly powerful, and because of that, sometimes he forgets just how young Mikey still is. Raph tightens his grip. That seems to be enough for Michelangelo. He hugs back, and they stay that way for a few heartrending moments. Raphael eventually pulls back, and if he did so with a sniffle, no one is going to call him out on it.

Raph gives Mikey's shoulders one last squeeze before he releases his brother. He swivels his head back to their people, and Raph knows that they're ready. He finds his way back onto his feet and pushes through the crowd again, heading towards the front lines. He sees Leo. He's waiting for Raph. Raphael takes a deep breath to collect himself before he lets his focus overcome the dread that he'd experienced mere moments ago. He finds his rightful place next to Leo.

"You ready?" Leo's voice is quiet, a muted question. There's the slightest hint of uncertainty, and Raph knows more than anyone what Leo's feeling.

"Ready." Raphael agrees, and his response seems to bolster Leo. He grins. Raph returns it with a smirk, straightening as he turns to face the crowd. "We're moving out soon! Everyone get ready!" He rumbles, voice filling the hangar. There are a few cheers, and everyone scrambles to get last-minute preparations underway. Among them is Cass. He watches as she stoops to hug her son. Raph watches, his heart in his throat as Casey giggles in his mom's arms, his little head poking up past Cass' shoulder. He squeals when he's lifted up by his mom, and Raph feels like he shouldn't intrude on the moment. He turns away despite his aching heart. He's about to walk away when he hears Casey's unmistakable voice. It's not Casey's voice that stops him dead in his tracks. It's what he says.

"Pap?"

For what feels like an eternity, Raph's brain blanks. He stands still as his brothers all laugh, equal parts disbelief and amusement. All Raph can do is flounder. Flashes of Splinter enter his mind, memories of their father dancing before his very eyes. Suddenly, it all makes sense. It's like his world realigns. What his brothers say becomes mush, and he can't seem to process anything but the single word he'd heard. The tears that he's been holding back well up, and Raph turns around on his heels. He strides forward and then stoops down, making himself as small as possible with a waterlogged smile. "Casey!" Raph calls, and his voice cracks, arms reaching forward. His chest is impossibly tight again, but he doesn't care. This is all that matters.

Cassandra's expression melts from one of stark surprise to a quiet fondness, and she crouches to let Casey back onto the floor. Upon the sight of Raph's outstretched arms, Casey races over to him. There's no hesitation until he reaches Raph, and suddenly, Raphael doesn't know what to do with himself. He's become this small human's pap, and he loves little Case with all of his heart. His hands shake, and he can't seem to stop them. He hovers, more concerned than ever that he would somehow hurt Casey. It turns out that his uncertainty doesn't matter. Casey blinks at Raph owlishly, then turns towards the hand that isn't a prosthetic. Raph's heart clenches. Casey reaches out, settling his tiny hand in Raph's. It's barely big enough to circle around one of Raph's fingers halfway. Casey smiles, holding onto the hand even tighter. He hugs it with his whole body, and Raph can only stand so much. His throat burns and his tears make an appearance as he pulls the child—no, his son—close. He holds him against his face, eye closing. He's so small. Everything is clear now.

This war, this fight… It’s for their future. They fight for their right to hand down a world that is secure, safe, and bright. They fight for the right to live freely. They fight to ensure that their children will never have to face the same hardship that their guardians did. It's worth fighting for, down to the last drop of blood, and the last shred of breath.

Raphael doesn't want to, but he knows he has to. He pulls back, releasing Casey from his hug. Case giggles again in response, and his small hands reach for Raph's face. "Oh, Casey. Papa will be back very soon." He smiles through his tears, and Casey grows serious. Raphael can't help but be startled at the determination on Casey's young face, and he has to hold his breath as Case brushes away the tears from his face. Raph nudges his forehead against Casey's one last time, gentle and loving. He pushes his child towards the crowd that's accumulated to bid them luck and goodbye. Despite his young age, Casey seems to realize that it's time to say goodbye. He backs away, but he waves to Raphael the entire time.

With newfound strength and courage fortifying his soul, Raph can feel his ninpo practically crackling. He's going to bring down the Krang, no matter what. For his brothers. For the Resistance. For all those that he lost. For Casey. He lifts an arm to scrub at his face, getting rid of the remainder of his tears. When he talks again, his voice is strong and booms through the halls. "Let's move out!"

Raphael leads the entourage. His expression is set in stone, and his remaining eye burns with untamable fire.

--------------------------------------------

Somehow, Raph has always known that it would end this way. He's not one for grand maniacal plans like Donnie, not strategic like Leo, or even as mystically talented as Mikey. There is one thing that he knows how to do, something that he's better at than anybody else.

He knows it'll take everything he has.

But that's okay. It gives his brothers, Casey, April, and everyone in the Resistance a fighting chance. A shot at a better future.

He doesn't tell anyone that his mind is already made up. The chaos of the battle rages around them, but all sound is muffled to Raphael. There is an eerie calm descending on him. He can feel the dead weight of Leo in his arms. He glances around, and that's all he needs to conclude that they're in trouble. They're out of options. The sound of screams and cries of their people fighting—and losing—echo. It pierces through the shrouded veil that is surrounding Raphael. A newfound clarity settles, and the knowledge of what he's about to do makes him ache for all those he's leaving behind.

I'm sorry, Casey, he thinks, swallowing. Papa won't be making it home.

"Donnie. You were right," Raphael chuckles, the sound dry and wretched. He looks toward the holographic screen that has Donnie's face. "It is Leo that gets knocked out." At his words, Donatello's face twists. A flicker of understanding seems to bode before it disappears, a fierce look of denial taking over the lines of his face.

"Yes, well, I'm almost always right. 99.99% of the time," Donnie responds, his voice wrecked. It's a low sound, full of pain and a new kind of desperation.

Raphael lays Leonardo down, his ministrations endlessly careful and gentle. He forgets about his strength often because he's a tank; he's as destructive as he is obstinate. Even still, he is careful with his unconscious brother. Leo's prosthetic is destroyed. Raph glances at his own.

A Krang hound overwhelms Leo while he fights hundreds of others; it manages to sink its teeth into the metal of Leo's arm. Raph can do nothing but watch in horror as the hound shakes Leo like a ragdoll. The hound continues to slam the turtle around repeatedly with brutal strength as if it was determined to rip Leo's arm out of its socket as it had already done once before. In Raphael's hurry, he tackles the dog with his full body weight after he wrestles his way closer, sending Krang creatures sprawling from the sheer force he plows through them with. Leo slams into the ground, and the impact is hard enough to knock him out cold with a pained grunt. Raphael growls, the sound twisting into a bone-chilling snarl. His hands grasp the top of the Krang mutt's jaw in a crushing grip, the other latching onto the lower jaw. With a furious cry, Raph wrenches the dog's mouth open. Unnatural howls leave the creature's mouth as it struggles, its screams of pain growing more frequent. Raphael doen't stop there. Once the alien releases the wreckage that had once been Leo's prosthetic, Raphael gives a mighty heave accompanied by a roar of rage. How dare the Krang take Leo's arm again?

The gory sound of bones snapping and the wet, horrid sound of skin ripping fill the air until Raph releases the remains of what had been a Krang creature from his hands. He sucks in deep breaths of air, panting from the extra exertion of strength. He steps away from the bloody carnage, stumbling towards Leo. He presses his head to Leo's plastron, relief flooding in at the sound of a heartbeat. "Leo," he calls, throat hoarse. He shakes his brother, hoping to rouse him. "Leo!" There is no response. He's out cold, injured, and without an arm. Raphael has no way of getting him to safety.

His closed eye opens. Raphael shakes himself out of his reverie of recounting memories. He knows what he has to do. "Don, how long until the shuttles arrive?" He questions. He sounds calm, even to his own ears. He sees Donatello look away towards his wrist screen, and Raph knows what the answer is before Donnie even says it. Donnie's eyes are distant, his brain racing. It's going a mile a minute only to come to the same conclusion. Nothing. Donnie can't move, Mikey is overwhelmed and fighting to get people to safety, and Leo is unconscious. Raph is the last mutant standing.

"Donnie." Raph calls again. He still wants to hear the answer. His gaze is fixed on the holo screen, and Donnie looks back at him with fervent eyes.

"15 minutes." The answer is delivered in a voice that sounds small and defeated. Raphael nods. His nod is more to himself than anything. Everything comes at a price.

"Don. Remember what Raph said, okay?" That's all Raph has to say before a wretched cry sounds from Donnie.

"No! There's another way, we still have time! Raphael, don't fucking do this!" Donnie's panic, rage, and pain are imprinted clearly in his desperate plea. He knows what Raphael is about to do. Raphael only looks at him through the holo screen. He knows what he looks like. He looks grim, determined. Fierce. Donnie reads his intentions loud and clear and tries again anyway. Raph feels as if someone is twisting a katana in his heart when he sees the way Donatello's face crumples, the way his head slumps. He tips his head downwards. "Please, Raph. Please, don't do this. Please," Donnie begs, but there's nothing Raphael can give him as an answer. They have no choice. Donnie knows this. Raphael looks away from the screen. He looks down at Leonardo and the destroyed prosthetic. Wordlessly, Raphael smiles. It's soft, affectionate. Leo looks so young like this. Raph reaches over, and his large fingers find the spot he's looking for on his arm. His prosthetic detaches with a hiss. He presumes where he's going, he won't need this. He hears Donnie make a sound that sounds like a mournful, cut-off cry. Donatello is smart. He's already put together why Raph is doing this. There aren't many supplies to rebuild prosthetics anymore. Raph carefully places his metal arm over Leo. It positions over him as if it's cradling and holding the younger turtle.

"Donatello." The use of his full name forces Donnie to look up, and there are tears running down his face without reserve. Raphael grins, his infamous snaggletooth making an appearance. "Take care of yourself. Raph will always be with you. Don't blame yourself, or anyone else. I know you all, and I know you will keep fighting. Beat them for me. Then, when you win, like a boss-" Raph emphasizes, his voice trembling for just a moment, "-remember me. Tell everyone how much I love them." Donnie says nothing. He's looking away from Raphael now, and Raph understands.

Raphael stands up. The dust and wind generated by the battlefield whip the tail ends of his bandanna around. He takes a deep breath. His mind flashes to all the people he's met in his life. Behind his eyelids, all his memories play out. Mikey. Donnie. Leo. April. Splinter. Barry. Cassandra. The Resistance. Casey. His heart seems to swell. It's for them. A fierce inferno suddenly sparks to life, fueled by all his grief, love, and passion. He's doing this for them. He will protect them, even if it's the last thing he does.

When Raph opens his eye, it glows red. Surges of energy crawl over his body as electricity would, and his teeth grit. There is no more fear. He takes a step forward, and the very ground shakes from the force. Already, his ninpo has grown his size. Bigger, he thinks.

Another earth-shattering thud. Pain surges through him, his body warning him of its constraints. He ignores it. Bigger.

This time, the earth cracks open under his foot as he takes another step. The pain is excruciating. Raphael can see the red lines spidering through his flesh, the cracks he absorbs with his entire body. His form remains solid. With each movement, his body is falling apart. He knows that if he continues, his body will tear itself apart. He will break like glass, and he will die. The thought doesn't do anything for him, and it only emboldens him to go faster. "Bigger!" He roars, his voice carrying through the battlefield in a cry so searing and fierce, he gains the attention of the lead Krang.

Krang creatures scatter from under his feet. Those that don't, he crushes. He is far from caring. He moves his way forward, soul on fire. If he can protect his people, his family, Raph will gladly feed his soul as fodder to his ninpo. His eye is fixated on the lead Krang as he fast approaches. Even from this distance, he can see the way the disgusting pink flesh alien's arrogance melts away into pure, unadulterated fear. It feels good. Raph grins, and he knows that his form follows suit. By the time the Krang realizes his intentions, it's too late. The roar of rage, fear, and defeat that Raphael hears is music to his ears as he grasps the Technodrome. His sheer size dwarfs the once massive ship. It fits into his hands the way a ball would, and his sudden fury at the thought of all those he lost to this alien ship causes his fingers to grasp tighter. His fingertips dig into the ship, and the groaning creak it gives as he crushes it bit by bit is exhilarating.

Raphael lifts it above his head. His ninpo holds strong, but he can feel every molecule of his body breaking under the pressure. He looks up at the sky. He'd wanted to see the blue skies with everyone at the end. At least, this way, he could help them do that, even if it's without him. His eye closes. I'm so proud of you all. I'll see you again. For now, this is Raph out. Like a boss. With a heaving cry that threatens to cleave the sky open and rip the very fabric of time, Raph opens his one eye. Tears fall from it as he fixates it on the lead Krang, his savage smirk only growing wider. He swings his raised arms down, slamming the Technodrome ship down with all of his strength. He screams, channeling every fiber of his being into ensuring that the ship is completely, utterly destroyed. They will never endanger their people with this ship again.

There is a burst of light accompanied by an earthquake that topples buildings and splits the ground, dust clogging the sky in a dirty mist that is impossible to see through. With it, shards of red float and swirl through the air. Everyone who knows what it is also knows what it means.

Raphael is gone.

--------------------------------------------

There's nothing Mikey can do. He watches as his brother tears himself apart to fight against the Krang. He watches in horror as Raphael screams in equal parts fury and agony, destroying something that is a detrimental blow to the Krang. His hands shake, and his vision blurs, but he can't look away. A sob rips from his throat as he holds Leo, his eyes fixated on the crackling red figure in the distance. One hand cradles Leo while the other is clenched tightly on Raph's prosthetic arm. Somehow, Raphael knew. Somehow. Mikey doesn't know if Raphael is able to hear him, but he grasps the fingers of Raphael's prosthetic as if he is clutching onto his hand. "I'm here! Raph, I'm here! You're not alone, I'm here!" He screams like a wild animal; his tears and grief are unending. He screams as loud as he can, hoping, praying, willing that Raphael hears that he's not alone and that Michelangelo will keep his promise.

He looks until he is forced to close his eyes at the burst of light. There is no one but Mikey to catalog Raphael's final moments. He has to remember, to see everything.

When he opens his eyes. all he sees is a crumbling red figure. It deteriorates, shards floating in the air before it disintegrates. Almost like it never existed. As if Raphael never existed. Mikey stays where he is, too stunned and grief-stricken to even cry out anymore. He watches as Raphael's ninpo disappears. He feels reality slipping from his grasp. His mind can't help but shy away from the possibility that Raphael is truly gone. He denies such a reality, but even that comes to a stop. Something red flits down from the sky, and Mikey reaches up. His ninpo grasps the item, and when he brings it closer, Mikey feels his heart shatter. In his trembling hand is Raphael's bandanna. The only remnant of their brother's body. The only proof that he existed, other than their ashen memories. With shaky hands, Michelangelo brings it closer. He lays Leo down and looks around. Almost numbly, he takes Leo's abandoned odachi. He ties the strip of red around the handle, closes his eyes, and presses his forehead against it. He's only like that for a moment before his eyes open again. The fire that burns within is an anger that burns brighter than magma in a volcano.

In another time, Mikey hadn't understood the word hate. The concept had eluded his grasp. Now... Now he knows what hate is, and more. His loathing now knows no bounds. He hates the Krang. He loathes them. The embers of his hate lodge in his throat as he snarls silently, eyes beginning to glow a fierce yellow. He burns with the force of the sun, his usual warm rays of light turning cruel. He will destroy them all. His orange bandanna falls from his face in ashes, and with it, his hair is released. He faces the enemy that has regrouped shakily from Raph's attack. The enemy that now has set their eyes upon their allies and the rest of them. Mikey knows that the shuttles have landed. He is the last line of defense against the enemy and his allies that need time to escape.

He's never been more glad for that fact. His power crackles, surrounding him like a violent whirlwind. The power surges through his body, and he can feel it chipping away at the years he has left in his body. His hair grows longer, blowing in the wind of his rage without his bandanna to hold it back. He floats, rising higher and higher into the sky as his power builds like a hurricane. He raises his arms, and Michelangelo holds onto his ninpo with a savage ferocity that almost outweighs the pain at the knowledge that Raph is now gone. His fury reaches new heights.

The coals that burn in his throat finally give, and the scream he lets out is like a banshee's. With it, he releases his ninpo. His power is as unforgiving and brutal as the sea, waves of light matching the caliber of a primordial force perhaps as old as time. It floods over the battlefield like an ocean, golden light rolling in with the strength of a tidal wave and the speed of a riptide. He screams again, but it is a wordless cry of unmatched wrath. Michelangelo will burn them. He will destroy every single one until there's nothing by ash and death. They will suffer the way that they have suffered. The blinding wave of light engulfs the approaching Krang, and with inhuman, blood-curdling shrieks, they burn in the fire of Michelangelo's hate.

Mikey lands down, his feet on the ground. He pants as he looks at the razed land before them. Suddenly, all his strength ebbs from him as he falls to his knees. He feels empty. With a sudden hiccuping sob, Michelangelo raises his hands to his face, burrowing into them as he cries uncontrollably. Raphael is still gone.

--------------------------------------------

Donatello numbly watches as his wrist pad notifies him that the shuttle is arriving in 10 minutes. He feels detached. Everything is hazy, layered in a white fog. He feels as if nothing matters. He stays where he is, his eyes distant. His thoughts are quiet, for once. There's just... Nothing. He stares blankly at the horizon. He hadn't been able to see Raph's sacrifice. He isn't sure if he should feel grateful for that or not, so he doesn't think about it at all. There are other Krang and people fighting, but Donatello can't seem to pull himself together. It's all just so... Distant. Like he's not with this reality anymore. The logical part of his brain wonders if the powerful surges of energy and the earth-shattering showdown that has occurred have somehow transported him into a different universe. He almost laughs at the thought. Why does he feel nothing?

The shuttles arrive. The shuttles arrive but Donatello doesn't move. He watches as others run to the shuttle. He can't help but feel a little resentful towards them, a dull flare in the dark abyss. Do they know what sacrifice just occurred to save their lives? Are they grateful? A distant part of him observes from its detachment the observation he makes is unfair. Donnie doesn't care. In the far distance, he sees April looking around. He can even see her face wet with tears as she searches. Some part of him knows that she's looking for him. She's looking for Leo, Mikey, Raph, or him. His distant thoughts suddenly screech to a stop. Raph. Raphael. She... She won't be able to search for him anymore. She won't find him. Suddenly, everything becomes too sharp. Too clear. The agony that rushes in almost makes him wish for the detached daze he had just been in.

It's at that time that he hears Mikey's scream. It emotes all that he's feeling, and it delivers a blow so gut-wrenching that whatever breath is left in Donnie's lungs is stolen away. Another blinding white light envelops the field, and this time, he knows that it's Michelangelo. This knowledge makes this new reality jarringly, horrifically real.

Raphael is dead.

Just as the numb daze is about to return, Donatello is made aware of the hiccupping sobs that undoubtedly belong to Mikey. All his doubts disappear, and he is confronted with the reality that they've gone from four brothers to three. It's here that Donnie realizes—he'd never gotten to say goodbye. He'd never been able to tell Raphael that he loves him, too. Something wet trails down his face. He's shocked for a moment before he realizes, once again, that it's his tears. They run hot, splashing down his cheeks and onto his collarbone. Then, it's like the floodgates open. His shoulders shake as he wails, face upturned towards the sky as he screams, shouts, and rages. He can't breathe, but Donatello doesn't care. He doesn't. Everything hurts. Raphael had died alone, protecting them.

Donatello's sobs join Mikey's as they howl at the sky like feral, wounded animals, their grief raw and insurmountable. It presses on both of their shoulders, through their plastrons, and into their chests; the weight is so heavy that Donatello wonders if he'll ever be able to stand up again.

[panlight]

I know you did astrological charts and the birthdays of the Cullens a while back (btw I want to see an updated version in case your opinions changed becuz mine have lol) but I'm pondering those of Bella, Edward, and Jacob. (Also if Ren was a "normal" pregnancy what could her sign be?) I know canon has them as Virgo, Gemini, and Capricorn respectively, but I feel like at least one of those signs isn't very accurate. I'm especially conflicted about Jacob as I did research on the 12 signs but it didn't connect. Your thoughts? Any new headcanons for the main trio and/or the Cullens?

I don't really know enough about the common traits of the signs off the top of my head to say. I'm not so much an astrology girl in real life, but I think it's fun in fiction as a tool to help flesh out a character. Pick a birthday and look up the astrological traits and pick some of those for your character, etc. Or, to work backwards when the author didn't give any of the major secondary characters birthdays to try and pick one for them based on traits. That's sort of how I settled on Feb 18 for Carlisle. We knew he "recently" had a birthday when Bella visits the house in March, so his birthday would be presumably in March or the later half of February. Feb 18th puts him on the cusp of humanitarian Aquarius and compassionate Pisces so that seemed like a good fit.

I think Virgo broadly works for Bella; they're practical, useful, hardworking, can be judge-y and perfectionistic. They aren't super creative or artistic, but they get stuff done but are prone to stress for all the pressure they put on themselves.

Edward's a Gemini (Jun 20) but on the cusp with Cancer, so he could have traits of both. From one website: "Gemini-Cancer cusps are playful, sensitive, romantic, and intelligent. They're highly perceptive and are more emotional and sentimental than they outwardly seem." I mean other than maybe playful (he has his moments but overall takes everything Super Seriously) that's not a terrible surface description of our vampire Romeo.

Jacob's a Capricorn (Jan 14). In descriptions I see a lot of words like persistent and loyal, which works. Negative traits like arrogant and controlling, which could fall into his post-wolfening character shift I guess. They aren't conventionally romantic but show affection and love with smaller gestures. He's not saying Bella is his life now or his life has no meaning without her, but he gives her candy hearts and warm sodas and spends time with her when she needs his sunny presence.

If I could assign a different birthday to one of the three it would probably be Jacob. I could definitely see him as more of Leo; loyal, a natural leader, generous, charming, talkative (telling Bella the secret history like, right away). I think that might fit his original sunny personality better?

Renesmee would probably have been born in late April or early May if she had been the product of a typical human pregnancy based on some rough dates I threw into a pregnancy calculator. That would make her a Taurus (like me!). Stubborn, dependable, set in their ways, appreciates the good things in life, gentle until riled, maybe with an artistic streak. I don't think I'm a very good Taurus example (the whole hedonistic thing is not me, lmao), but maybe Nessie would have been? I see some common traits with Virgo, which might complicate the mother-daughter relationship in the future. Sometimes people who are too similar don't get along well (looking at you, Rosalie and Edward).

[beeceit]

The Broken Leo

Disclaimer: I know I don't typically do angst for the Peepaw Multiverse (which is also why I typically don't involve itbotb Leo in it) but I got to thinking, and itbotb Leo would have... very complicated feelings about meeting so many other hims

(The itbotb canon self-worth issues, alcohol issues, and a brief mention of suicidal thoughts made it into this, so watch out for those) WMAS Leo belongs to @chiangyorange who also inspired this with this comic

Leo tapped his claws against his glass, looking around the room.

The situation was ridiculous and honestly a little frightening. (Seriously, what evil god would allow THIS many Leos to coexist in one room?! Something very very important would be breaking soon and the whole multiverse would explode because some idiot tried to make ramen without the water, or something equally stupid.)  But the scariest part for Leo was that every other version of himself he could see seemed so… 

Happy.

Why wasn’t he? What, because he was missing an arm? Big whoop, he’d already counted five other hims missing something. Coin with his amputated leg (and really, he should be grateful it was only an arm), 2 was missing an arm too, didn’t even really have a stump to speak of. Expendable was not only missing an arm, but his shell was in horrible shape and his eye looked enough like his own Raph’s that he’d bet real money that he was at least partially blind.

And he was feeling this way well before he lost it.

Because of the prison dimension, then? He was there an hour at most. Hourglass and Deal had both been there so much longer and got hurt so much worse. And yet there they were, just laughing and talking like old friends, and they’d only just met. Deal was even drinking soup out of his hands, Leo couldn’t even imagine going through trauma like he had and still managing to be able to be so silly. No, the problem was him.

The problem was always him.

What was wrong with him? His dad was finally there and opening up and listening, his family finally trusted him, he got along with Casey famously. Even his future self was there for him! Everybody was! He just needed to stop being such a self-obsessed dickhead and talk to them! Why was this so hard? Leo sighed and looked around to make sure no one was looking before reaching into his pouch and pulling out a bottle of calamine lotion. Well… it had been calamine lotion. Now it was just a cleaned out bottle he used to hide his emergency vodka in. It didn’t hold much (It couldn’t. He couldn’t afford his brothers getting suspicious, after all.) but it was enough. He poured a generous glug into his diet coke before concealing the bottle again. There was a bar in this place for the older Leos, it would be fine. If anyone got suspicious, he could just claim it was Blue’s and he stole a sip because he was curious. That was normal teenager behavior, right?

What a fucking mess he was.

It was bad enough, knowing how weak he was amongst his family, knowing he was the only one struggling like this, but this? This was so much worse. So many hims, going through so much worse, how was he the only one struggling this hard? How was he the only one who couldn’t handle it? This wasn’t just one universe calling him a failure, it was dozens.

“Should’ve just let Prime finish me off when he had the chance.” He muttered to himself, taking a long sip.

Leo felt a bump against his shoulder.

“Hey, you say something?” Leo jumped, turning to see another Leo sitting next to him. “Shit! Sorry, uh, spaced out. How long have you been there?” The other Leo snorted. “Just a minute, dude, don’t worry about it. You good?” Leo blinked before shrugging and putting on the carefree mask, hoping it wouldn’t fail him like it had done more and more lately. “Nah, I’m fine, don’t worry about it. Just, uh, just overwhelmed. This whole situation is wack as all hell.”

“Yeah, I get that. I still haven’t figured out how to get this name tag thing off. I mean, what does WMAS even mean?! And why is there an orange on it?”

“I’ve been saying it like Christmas in my head.” “Of course you would. Why is yours so long, anyways?”

“Dude, I have no idea. My Blue’s matches, so I guess our dimension is just itty-bot-buh with a… deer-bee thing? I don’t know, man.” WMAS snorted. “You call yours Blue, too?” “Dad picked it. It’s still weird, him actually calling me by my name without it meaning I’m in trouble.” “Yeah, I feel that. …you, uh… you wanna go pet the big scary magic dog with me?” Leo raised an eyebrow and looked over at Havoc, who was currently giving a death glare to a big Leo that had gotten too close to Hourglass for comfort. “I think that’s a fox.” “He’s fluffy, it makes him a dog.” Leo rolled his eyes and chugged the rest of his drink before standing. “Eh, I’ll bite. I didn’t have anything better to do anyways.” Blue looked on from across the room with a frown.

I’m so sorry, kid.