#fuzz-rite

[fuzzkaizer]

ZB Custom fuzz

"that just arrived here fresh off @reverb "From the info according to @effectsdatabase ZB Custom shared a building with Mosrite and after they shut down in the early 70’s and must have had access to leftover parts to build these Fuzz-Rites. The ZB is a silicon Fuzz-Rite with Centralab pots dating to the 9th week of 1968. The Mosrite is one of those weird all in one circuits completely enclosed ceramic with CRL pots dating to the 14th week of 1968. I’d guess that Mosrite bought a huge supply of pots in late 68/ early 69 and those lasted through the ZB Custom acquisition in the early 70’s. They both sound great but the ZB seems to have a slight edge on the Mosrite, it’s a little louder and sharper sounding."

cred: instagram.com/djlavalamp

[ninapi]

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Mine ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

Premise: Not everyone can be the strongest sorcerer, Suguru knows this. Not everyone can have it all, no matter how hard they try. But there was one thing he wasn’t wiling to give to his best friend just like that, and that was you the only one who could made his demons go quiet…

Word count: 3691

Warning: spoilers of the original manga timeline~

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

Summer months were your least favorite of all.

The air was hot, and breathing was unbearable, there was no trace of a single breeze, the mood around you always the worse. Not just you, but your teammates hated the season and not just due to the weather, but the excessive number of curses parading around, left barely any time left for you to even shower and scrub the stickiness of your skin off.

Being a first year in the Jujutsu academy wasn’t easy. The missions were tough, you were being tested all the time, your wit, your physical strengths, cursed energy levels, individual rites and skills; not just that, but you were constantly in danger specially being their new addition, they would always throw your team around for cleanup missions, messy back-up harsh ones and even sent you out to fight a special grade curse on your own once by mistake when they gave you Gojo-senpai’s mission instead, sending him to fight a lesser curse in the country side in error, one that almost got you and Nanami, who came after you when he realized what had happened, killed, though that’s what you signed up for.

Having to back up the two strongest sorcerers in the campus surely didn’t help.

Your party consisted of the very much constipated, moody Nanami Kento and the very opposite of that Haibara Yu. You got along with both of them just fine, they were both very different though, Nanami would always help you get your head straight, help you train, strive to be better, while Yu was always there to cheer you both up, always bright and smiley, a lovely man. But somehow you always ended up flocking around your seniors instead of your own group, regardless of the rumors of you and Nanami being actually a thing, your interests were some place else.

Shoko was a wonderful model figure, you wished to be like her one day, she’s still so young yet so powerful, being able to cure others was a noble task, much better than having to go around chasing ugly stinky curses. So you were seen around her often wanting to learn as much from her craft as possible. In all truth, she didn’t like having others snooping around, but you were helpful, having you there helped her with her experiments and helped her develop new techniques, having you around was far more useful than having her own teammates invading her personal space.

As for Gojo, he had an open crush on you. There was no soul in the school that didn’t know about the intense flirting and shameless looks he threw at you all the time. But then again, he does the same with almost every girl around, or so you thought, that’s what he leads on anyways.

You on the other hand, had a crush on his partner. The beautiful, kind, loved by many, Geto Suguru. A year your senior, yet the coolest guy you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

Unlike Gojo, he wasn’t as interested in you, as a woman at least. He’d give you the same attention he’d give the rest of your party. He was kind, gentle, always offered his advice, he did a great job taking care of his juniors and his own party, he was what every sorcerer wanted to be, powerful, known for and feared from, yet not cocky in the slightest.

It was impossible not to have a crush on him.

Though, as time went on, you noticed his demeanor change. He had bags under his eyes, his smile seemed shallow, fake even, his body thinning as days went by, his peaceful aura disappearing into oblivion. His attitude was very unlike him.

While everyone fuzzed about Gojo being the strongest sorcerer ever, all your worries were on his counterpart.

He wasn’t as needed anymore and his whole set of values were being challenged at that very moment. His sleep deprived self, had been overly consuming curses and he couldn’t think straight any longer, now unable to distinguish what was bad from what was good, it was a subjective concept after all.

“Geto-senpai! There you are! I’ve been looking for you all over the place.” he was leaning against a tree, seemingly lost in his thoughts when you found him. You could see he was coming back from a mission, his uniform and a good part of his face still covered with someone’s blood and remains of some kind of goo.

“(Y/N)? Sorry did you say something?” his smile didn’t reach his eyes, you could see how he was trying to avoid worrying you, he always dotted on your team and didn’t want his existential crisis to affect sweet little you, who was constantly checking up on him, unlike his friends.

“Just that I was looking for you. Here! I got you a souvenir from my last mission!” placing a small tin on his hand you smiled up at him, waiting for him to discover its content.

“Oh, for me? You didn’t have to bring me anything. Thank you. Let’s see, what could be hidden in this small box~” a little of the old Geto could be seen on his features every time you talked to him, it was nearly impossible for him to keep sulking in his insecurities when you smiled so sweetly up at him like that, your eyes shining with excitement, it was almost contagious. Maybe not everything was lost for him just yet.

“Cinnamon candy? Never tried them before, are they good?” he tilted his head, seemingly analyzing the treats. Normally Satoru was the one that received this sort of gifts, he didn’t know what to think about it. Did you perhaps confuse the two of them? He didn’t want to believe that was the case, you’d always been on his side unlike the rest who clearly preferred the strongest of all in their presence instead.

“I was just thinking about the last mission we had together. About how cool you looked while you were consuming that evil giant curse. But then it occurred to me, it must taste disgusting, poor senpai. Then! I saw these candies in a shop on my way here, cinnamon candies aren’t really what I would call sweet, they’re more like a cleanser, spicy even. It might make your job easier.” he was speechless, in all these years nobody ever thought of the consequences of his technique, nobody worried about him, it stirred something within him that he didn’t know he could feel. You were always this kind and not just towards him, but right there, a few minutes ago, he had been hating on humanity with all his might, hating on all those looser monkeys, good for nothings, hating on his own friends even, how they left him behind, how they didn’t care about him as much anymore. And now there you were, being as selfless as one can be, thinking about him even during one of your missions. Getting distracted like that while fighting curses could get you killed, it was a worrying thought, but one that filled his chest with a warmth he didn’t know it could shine so brightly within him.

“Senpai?” you reached inside your skirt pocket to look for your hand towel, gently dapping the blood away from his handsome face.

“Sorry, I’m spacing out a lot today. Thank you, you’re a sweetheart, nobody really cares about good old Geto and his disgusting technique these days.” his smile was more genuine this time, making your cheeks tinge with different shades of red, you hadn’t seen him smile like this in quite some time, it made you feel proud of still being able to pull smiles out of him unlike the rest.

“It’s not disgusting! I actually think is cooler than Gojo senpai’s.” you whispered the last part making him chuckle. To think he was on the edge of despair a few minutes ago.

Maybe not all was lost just yet.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

His self-doubts kept growing oddly quickly, Satoru’s success rate and popularity fanning the fire of his loneliness even more.

There were few moments now where he got to be with his teammates, most of the missions were now handed to Satoru alone without questioning and that was taking a toll on every sorcerer there was in the school, not just him, the mood around the classrooms was grim, some of the upperclassmen didn’t even attend to classes often anymore. What for? They weren’t necessary any longer, not with the heir of the Gojo clan and his almighty technique at their beck and call.

You wandered around the training grounds looking for the apple to your eye when a wild Gojo jumped at you from some side bushes. “Jeez senpai! You almost gave me a heart attack, what the heck!” you were panting, trying to calm your racing heart from the jump scare.

“Your fault, how do you pretend to be a good sorceress when you can’t even notice ME, the great Gojo Satoru, the best there is out there~” he leaned against you, snaking his arm around your shoulders, a full confidence display that you weren’t comfortable with.

Shrugging him off, you walked over to Shoko, who you spotted not far from the offense zone reading a book on her own while trying her best to ignore her annoying teammate as usual, Gojo trailing behind you like a wounded puppy, “You’re so mean to me (Y/N), you’re always hurting my poor heart. Maybe a little kiss from those pretty lips of yours could help it heal~~” Shoko could physically feel your frustration irradiating from your body from where she was sitting, sighing in shame and about to puke at his antics she got up, facing you. “He’s over there, (Y/N).” she pointed over to a set of stone steps to the side, hidden by some trees. You couldn’t see him, but he could see you and the entire scene unfold, a proud smirk shining at the way you rejected him so easily.

“What? You didn’t come to see me, sunshine? I could swear you came to ask me on a date. But don’t worry, I won’t make you go through it I know it can be embarrassing, let me ask you out instead.” the lust filled eyes he was giving you made Geto get up from his seat, walking over to you faster than he intended to.

“Senpai!” your eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as soon as he was in your line of view, causing Gojo to scuff.

“Hey, were you looking for me?” he addressed you and you only, infuriating Satoru who had tried really hard to get your attention and that had now been lost to his best friend.

“I was! I haven’t seen you around much lately…I was worried…” he reached over for one of your hands, looping it around his right arm. “Shall we go get something to drink then, catch up maybe? I’ve missed you too...” the soft tone he was using with you made an entire swarm of butterflies move permanently to your guts, Satoru’s look of disbelief causing Shoko to snort. This was very unlike Geto, he’s never hitting on girls, that was Gojo’s role in the team.

“What? You seriously didn’t know they were like a thing, sort of? You’re ridiculous Gojo, and you dare to call yourself his best friend? Have you not seen the way they look at each other? Even I get it and I don’t give a damn about anybody’s love life.”

“What do you mean a thing?” his eyes were glued to your bashful smile, the way your eyelashes fluttered oh so beautifully for another man, for his brother in arms, his best friend, he didn’t know how to feel about the entire situation, specially not now that he saw the way Suguru returned your smile, honey dripping from it just as it was from yours.

He did have an honest crush on you, he loved how sweet you were and how cute you looked when you were being all shy. He wished you’d smile for him the way you were smiling right now for his friend. And the truth is he didn’t really know you were interested in Geto, not romantically at least, he thought you were just being nice as usual with your seniors, maybe he was just always too busy and failed to notice both of you slipping through his fingers.

Geto had never been interested in dating anyone, that was a known fact, it was just not in his plans for the near future. But having you around made him feel calm, made him forget how desperate he felt, made him feel understood. Your smile could drown his doubts and sorrows, just like your candy could kill the nasty taste of death from his tongue.

Suguru knew Satoru was serious about you, he knew him well after all, but so was he. Satoru didn’t need you the way he did, he was already the strongest, the most wanted dead and alive, the one every woman drool for. He loved his friend, that was never a lie. But he wasn’t willing to share the only ray of light he had in his life with anyone, not even with him.

A possessive hand landed over the one you were resting on his arm as he walked you to the closest cafe to the school, his guard going up almost creating a bubble around you, separating you two from the rest of the world.

To you it felt endearing, to others, Shoko and Satoru included, felt dangerous.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

The night Yu died in your mission, you lost a part of yourself.

Nanami was just as broken, blaming himself for what happened while you just couldn’t stop crying. You knew this could happen at any time, your job was dangerous, and you were still new to the arts of sorcery. But you didn’t expect to lose the center of your team, everyone loved him, even Nanami was nice to him. It was a hard blow for the two of you and the school in general.

What was even more unexpected was the fact that the events had triggered Suguru to commit an atrocious act.

You were all broken, confused, hurt.

Nothing made sense to you anymore.

Not only had you lost your friend and teammate, but the man you loved committed treason and killed a bunch of harmless humans without a documented valid reason to do so.

The news hit you like a train, it had to be a misunderstanding, he’s the kindest man you’ve ever met, you decided not to believe in anyone but Suguru himself, you wouldn’t form an opinion on the matter until you had formally talked to him, he did have a different view on the world, not everyone understands him the way you do.

That night, the window to your room opened from the outside, waking you up from your restless sleep. “S-suguru…?” it was pitch black outside and all you could see was the outline of his hairstyle illuminated by the moon shining on your wall, but you could recognize him with your eyes closed, his scent, his presence, you knew it was him.

“Yeah…can I…?” he walked over to your bed, clearly distraught. Understanding what he wanted you moved to the side, making space for him to join you under your blanket, waiting for him with your arms opened and a warm welcoming smile on your lovely face.

“Is it true…?” he buried his face on your chest at your question, letting you untie his bun and run your fingers through his long hair. You’ve gotten closer over the past few months, yet you weren’t officially a couple, not to others at least. You kept things private, late night secret meetings, stolen kisses behind trees, an unnumbered amount of quiet cuddling sessions in your bedroom when his thoughts claimed the best of him, but this was all just for the two of you, the world didn’t need to witness your relationship to give it any sort of worth or weight, you two were the only ones that mattered in the situation.

“Yeah…I killed them all. They…were torturing these little girls just because they are like us, even had them locked up in a cage like if they were some type of wild animal in a circus…they all deserved death… Didn’t they, baby?” he looked up at you searching your eyes for your approval, he knew in his heart he did the right thing, but a side of him was uncertain if you would cast him aside for his actions and go to Satoru instead.

“Hmm…I trust your judgement. If there was no other choice, I would have saved the girls too. You did great, love.” your soft smile filled his chest with that familiar warmth he grew addicted to, he knew you’d be on his side, there’s just no one like you.

He wanted you, needed you.

Right now.

Always.

“Come with us, babe. The girls don’t have anywhere to go, they’re my family now. I was thinking maybe you could come too? Go away, never look back…Make this world a better place…together….” his head was back on your chest, satisfied with the way his day was going. He didn’t even need to see your face, he knew he would win you over even without trying hard to convince you.

He wasn’t manipulating you, he truly wanted you by his side, wanted you as his queen, as queen of the new world, a world where everyone would be part of his family, where nobody would ever feel lonely again, where he didn’t have to eat more curses, where sorcerers wouldn’t be treated like pests, or worse, like government toys.

“Are you asking me to be the mother of your new daughters, Suguru~?” you giggled, joking around to lighten the mood a bit.

“That’s exactly what I am asking you, yes.” he placed a loving kiss on the middle of your chest bone, his hand rubbing circles onto your hips.

You knew he wasn’t joking; this was serious, but he was now a criminal sentenced to death, Gojo would be sent out for his head. Was that the life you wanted? The life of a criminal on the run?

It wasn’t ideal, but a life without Suguru in it was even worse, he was all you wanted, regardless of the implications of that decision.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go before Gojo-senpai senses you in my room.” the smirk he gave you made heat pool in your stomach; you weren’t really trying to give him any crazy idea…

“Oh, but why? That would be so much fun…shall we make it known to him before we leave, how much you enjoy having me in your room…?” his mind had twisted even more as of recent, his possessiveness growing constantly with every little look Satoru gave your way. The thought of him knowing how much you desire and love each other instigating fire within him.

The night was long.

Satoru did feel his presence, but Suguru wasn’t stupid, he didn’t allow that to happen until you two were about to leave. He wanted him to know about your passionate encounter, he wanted him to realize you had gone with him, that you had chosen him, even if he was now a wanted criminal, a murderer, you still preferred him over Mr.Perfection.

When Satoru arrived at your room it was too late. All your stuff nowhere to be seen, your bed in disarray, the smell of mixed arousals and sweat hitting him right up his nose the moment he got in. He did it on purpose, and he knew it, made it clear for him he had claim you in every possible way, that you were his and his only.

Satoru was the one broken now, he lost his best friend, his teammate, his brother. And he also lost the only girl he’d been genuinely in love with. All in one night, without the chance to fight for any of you.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

Satoru went after Suguru many times, never being enough of a man to actually kill him, but he hadn’t had the chance to see you after you left.

Suguru kept you and your adoptive daughters safe in his newly acquired secret mansion, gave his queen everything and then some more. His family was a top priority for him, even if it wasn’t the only one.

Though, Satoru knew you’d come out of your hiding place if he dared to touch your man, and so you did.

He had attracted Geto releasing high quality curses within a secure invisible barrier, not even other special grade sorcerers would realize there was one to begin with, knowing he wouldn’t be able to pass on the feast. He knows how you always worried when he overconsumed them, and you would insist to tag along to keep your man in check.

What he didn’t expect to see though was how he consumed curse after curse, after curse, all high grades, with you in his arms. You kissed him deeply while the curses were still mingling inside his mouth, both laughing hysterically as you both indulged the curses as if they were carnal pleasures. A very different picture from the one he had in his head for his sweet innocent love and his best friend.

A grotesque scene, to him that is. To you and Suguru it was nothing but exhilarating and arousing. The taste of death mixed in with your deliciousness, it was addictive, to the both of you. Satoru was about to leave, disappointment sipping within his broken heart, his best friend turned wicked, his cute love lost her mind. That’s when he saw a little girl running towards you, panic almost dragging him to the scene.

“Mama! Are you done now? Mimiko is falling asleep!” Suguru kissed one last bit of curse out of your plush lips before indulging his daughter, quickly getting to them and lifting them both in his arms.

So this is how it was now, there was nothing left to save.

Nothing made Suguru happier than having his very dysfunctional and broken family gathered in his arms. You were all happy, satisfied with your current life.

Yeah, he definitely made the right choice…

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Masterlist

[blushedfemmes]

hi hi baby butch here. planning to shave my head tonight pls give me the courage to actually do it i’ve been wanting to do it for like a year. thank u for ur blog it has helped me get so much more comfortable with my identity :)))

oh my god YES you gotta do it. that’s such a rite of passage and you’re gonna look so good. coincidentally, i just got a fresh set of sharp pointy nails and i’m daydreaming about running them lightly over a butch’s scalp… god the lil fuzz of a buzzcut/shaved head on a butch is so hot 🥵 but anywaysss most importantly, if it’s something you’ve been wanting to do for a long time, you’re just gonna glow and be so happy. i hope you’re able to do it and please report back when you do!!!

[shamanfox]

i hate the way the neck hairs furl

underneath my tangled, tired crown—

like little beach waves whispering lies

about softness

in the middle of a goddamn storm.

night sweats hit like a betrayal,

hot flash flood,

cruel slap of heat

in the middle of cold-ass montana.

first the sweatpants—

ripped off, wrung out, replaced.

then the t-shirt—

don’t even ask.

i’ve changed my whole fucking outfit

before dawn even cracks.

i throw off the covers,

then shiver like a sinner—

because of course

i’m soaked,

because of course

it’s freezing,

and of course

this little bitch called menopause

don’t give a damn about heating bills

or dignity.

and sleep?

what sleep?

sleep is a myth

told to fertile women

with balanced hormones

and skin like peach fuzz.

i haven’t slept since 2020

i just lie there

melting and muttering

at my own internal thermostat

like it’s possessed.

and food?

i don’t hardly eat a motherfucking thing.

but my hips?

they’ve gone full hippo.

i’m talking badonkadonk deluxe.

i had six kids—six!

and never carried this weight.

but now?

now i got a back porch

that don’t quit

and no party to bring it to.

and don’t come at me

with your flaxseed tea

or ice packs for the soul.

this is holy fury.

this is a rite of passage

that smells like vinegar and vengeance.

so let this be my psalm:

a hymn in sweat and battle scars

i will not be dainty.

i will not be quiet.

i will not wear your polite shame.

i am a menopausal wolf

howling at a cold moon—

sopping, steaming,

and still fucking glorious.

[daenerysoftarth]

jfc wait just realized that when Jaime joined the Kingsguard he was 15… most boys don’t start growing any kind of facial hair until they’re in their mid to late 20s. Jaime probably would’ve at most just started getting some peach fuzz. so his dad obviously isn’t there to teach him anymore, and that rite of passage is instead passed over to arthur dayne. imagine that scene of arthur dayne tenderly cradling jaime in his first days as kingsguard, getting Jaime ready to look the part of Noble Knight ™, seeing that gleam of pride in Jaime’s eye, knowing how close it is that his fantasy is shattered by one of Aerys’ foul moods. imagine him cupping Jaime’s face as he teaches him how to shave with his own sword.

… imagine jaime using that same sword when he stabs aerys, holding the king’s face almost tenderly as he died like arthur held his

[quoththemaven]

2023 Favoritest Book Reads

Vineland - Pynchon, Thomas

Prophet - Blaché, Sin & Helen Macdonald

And the Ass Saw the Angel - Cave, Nick

Lou Reed: The King of New York - Hermes, Will 

The Color of Magic (Discworld, #1; Rincewind, #1) - Pratchett, Terry

Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative - Kleon, Austin 

Sonic Life: A Memoir - Moore, Thurston

The Fifth Season (The Broken Earth, #1) - Jemisin, N.K. 

Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law - Roach, Mary

Everyone's a Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too - Sun, Jonny

The Night Masquerade (Binti, #3) - Okorafor, Nnedi 

Home (Binti, #2) - Okorafor, Nnedi 

Binti: Sacred Fire (Binti, #1.5) - Okorafor, Nnedi 

Binti (Binti, #1) - Okorafor, Nnedi 

Black Paradox - Ito, Junji

David Bowie's Low (33 1/3) - Wilcken, Hugo

Faith, Hope and Carnage - Cave, Nick

The Sirens of Titan - Vonnegut Jr., Kurt

Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth - Aslan, Reza

Smashed - Ito, Junji

Time Shelter - Gospodinov, Georgi

Brian Eno's Another Green World (33 1/3) - Dayal, Geeta

Armageddon in Retrospect - Vonnegut Jr., Kurt

Neverwhere (London Below, #1) - Gaiman, Neil 

The Committed (The Sympathizer #2) - Nguyen, Viet Thanh 

Into the Great Wide Open - Canty, Kevin 

Mongrels - Jones, Stephen Graham 

DisneyWar - Stewart, James B.

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex - Roach, Mary

The Left Hand of Darkness - Le Guin, Ursula K.

My Bloody Valentine's Loveless (33 1/3) - McGonigal, Mike 

Suttree - McCarthy, Cormac

Life's Work: A Memoir - Milch, David

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - Schwab, V.E.

Against the Day - Pynchon, Thomas

Burn It Down: Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood - Ryan, Maureen 

Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA (33 1/3) - Himes, Geoffrey

La Moustache - Carrère, Emmanuel

Janelle Monáe’s The ArchAndroid (33 1/3) - Favreau, Alyssa 

Sooner or Later Everything Falls Into the Sea - Pinsker, Sarah 

The Man Without a Shadow - Oates, Joyce Carol

The City & the City - Miéville, China 

Mem - Morrow, Bethany C. 

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind - Harari, Yuval Noah

Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs (33 1/3) - Eidelstein, Eric

Gutshot - Gray, Amelia 

The Price of Time (Watch What You Wish For #1) - Tigner, Tim 

The Revolution Was Televised: The Cops, Crooks, Slingers and Slayers Who Changed TV Drama Forever - Sepinwall, Alan 

Just Kids - Smith, Patti 

Sounds Like Titanic: A Memoir - Hindman, Jessica Chiccehitto 

Flicker - Roszak, Theodore

Tinderbox: HBO's Ruthless Pursuit of New Frontiers - Miller, James Andrew 

Flashback - Simmons, Dan

Flaming Lips' Zaireeka (33 1/3) - Richardson, Mark 

The Sympathizer (The Sympathizer #1) - Nguyen, Viet Thanh 

Pavement's Wowee Zowee (33 1/3) - Charles, Bryan

Neuromancer (Sprawl, #1) - Gibson, William

Invisible Cities - Calvino, Italo

Don't Fear the Reaper (The Indian Lake Trilogy, #2) - Jones, Stephen Graham 

The Wes Anderson Collection - Seitz, Matt Zoller

Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said - Dick, Philip K.

Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp a Butterfly (33 1/3) - Maner, Sequoia

The Nineties - Klosterman, Chuck

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow - Zevin, Gabrielle 

Wanderlust: An Eccentric Explorer, an Epic Journey, a Lost Age - Mitenbuler, Reid

A Heart That Works - Delaney, Rob 

Imago (Xenogenesis, #3) - Butler, Octavia E.

Cryptonomicon (Crypto, #1) - Stephenson, Neal 

Blacktop Wasteland - Cosby, S.A. 

Pearl Jam's Vs. (33 1/3) - Brownlee, Clint

Tracy Flick Can't Win - Perrotta, Tom

Devil House - Darnielle, John 

Adulthood Rites (Xenogenesis, #2) - Butler, Octavia E.

Heat 2 - Mann, Michael & Meg Gardiner

Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures (33 1/3) - Ott, Chris

Dawn (Xenogenesis, #1) - Butler, Octavia E.

The Diamond Age: Or, a Young Lady's Illustrated Primer - Stephenson, Neal 

The Republic of Thieves (Gentleman Bastard, #3) - Lynch, Scott 

The Year of the Flood (MaddAddam, #2) - Atwood, Margaret 

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

CHANNELING FIRST WAVE BLACK METAL ENERGIES IN THEIR LIVE ASSAULT AGAINST THE WINDY CITY.

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on Mark Greening & Jus Oborn (in a HELLHAMMER tee) of English stoner/DOOM metal band ELECTRIC WIZARD, performing live at the Double Door in Chicago, IL, USA, c. December 2001, touring their then still newly released "Dopethrone" album.

PIC #2: Cover art to "Satanic Rites," the third and final demo tape/quasi-debut album by Swiss extreme metal band HELLHAMMER, self-released in December 1983.

1994-2002 ELECTRIC WIZARD were:

Jus Oborn (vocals, guitar)

Mark Greening (assault and battery)

Tim Bagshaw (fuzz bass, effects)

Sources: www.picuki.com/media/3384549567032194576 & A Fine Day to Die Records.

[miasmaghoul]

3 and 38!!

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Howl's Moving Castle, Hot Fuzz and The Birdcage! Honorable mention to Rite Here Rite Now, because the second I can own it it'll be on repeat for at least a week (normal)

fave song at the moment?

I'm still stuck on The Future is A Foreign Land, but if we don't count Ghost then it's gotta be She's a War by Lektron:

(Ignore the fact that a certain unmasked rhythm guitar ghoul is a band member shh)

[thebreakfastgenie]

'sometimes you do' for the WIP asks! (I may just know it under a different name but taking a gamble!) 💜

You know idk if we have talked about this one!

This was also one of my earliest MASH WIPs! Things have changed around a lot as I decided whether I wanted to include certain things in the same fic or branch out. This is the current version.

Shortly after he gets home, Hawkeye goes to see Tommy Gillis's parents. There's a bit about how Tommy's dad treats him as a man now, in a way he never did even after med school, because he's been to war. Tommy's parents give him Tommy's manuscript, which was returned to them with his other personal effects, and ask him to do something with it because they don't know what to do.

Hawkeye wants to finish it and publish it, and ends up publishing it as is, with an afterword explaining how he knew Tommy and what happened to him. He decides he needs to talk to someone who both met Tommy and was in Korea, and ends up going to see Trapper, who hasn't spoken to since he left. This is tense but it goes well. He publishes the book without telling anyone else from the 4077th, but he sends a copy to Father Mulcahy because he was there when Tommy died and did last rites.

He also talks to Amy Clark, his teacher friend from Letters, so I can develop the dynamic between his childhood friends a bit. In this fic, Tommy was gay (though his relationship with Hawkeye was always entirely platonic on both sides) but it only comes up briefly. I wanted to portray the grieving parents a bit.

I'm not sure quite where it ends up, so this might not be included, but I do imagine BJ sending him a letter like "uh you wrote a book??" I don't really want to get into the "does BJ know about Tommy" question in this fic, although in my head he probably does not (and neither does anyone else from the 4077th who wasn't there in season 1).

A bit from the beginning:

The first people he sees by choice are Harold and Alice Gillis. He knocks twice—they never replaced the doorbell after Tommy hit it with a baseball—and waits, studying his washed-out reflection in the glass pane of the Gillises’ storm door. He didn’t wear his uniform, and he wonders briefly if he should have. He hates the idea, but he thinks maybe it would be the appropriate thing to do, and he hates himself more for thinking it. His clothes are neat, but they’re old, and self-consciousness stabs at him in a way it never used to. A suit might be worse than the uniform, and he’s not sure he has one that fits, but still, he could have taken more care.  Anyway, it’s too late now; he’s standing on the porch in an old flannel shirt and he can hear footsteps approaching.  The door opens and Mrs. Gillis throws her arms around him, pulling him down, crushing him against her shoulder. His lungs fill with her cloying, rosy perfume—Tommy had helped his father choose it, one Christmas, and she’d never worn anything else since. His world is her set gray hair, the fuzz of her pink sweater, for well over a minute.  She pulls back, finally, but she doesn’t release him; her fingertips dig into his biceps.  “It’s so good to see you,” she says hoarsely. She’s already crying.  More footsteps, then a man’s voice: “Well, Alice, aren’t you going to bring him inside?” Harold Gillis stands in the doorway, hands in the pockets of his corduroy slacks, yellow shirt neatly tucked in and buttoned all the way to the neck. He still combs his hair the same way he did in the thirties. Except for a few wrinkles, he’s exactly he way Hawkeye remembers him.  It’s strange to see them this way—made up, in cheerful colors—grieving, but not bereaved. It’s been over a year, he realizes, since they buried their son. Time moved differently in Korea, where a year seemed to pass each day, and each year seemed over in minutes. He’s glad, suddenly, that he didn’t wear a suit, that he didn’t dress like he was going to a funeral. He missed the funeral, like so many other things. 

[lyrics365]

Electric Tower

From the tower, Lucifer howls Fuzzed out rites, roaring amps Wisdom beyond, black magic Filth and madness, master bizarre Served by, ancient warlocks Necromancer, casts his spell And they gather, on witching hour All hail, Electric tower Black turns, the shiny sun Come forth, you evil one Morbid creature, too weird to tell Summoned by, the bells of hell Perverted, rites of sadism Whipmarks, on…

[angelictyphoon]

Looking without really looking is easy enough when he is already distracted. His head feels like it’s been stuffed: fuzz, white noise, too many thoughts and questions competing for his attention. 

They are standing knee deep in fog, wandering through a swamp of machinery and looking for a way out. While Wolfwood blockades the door with a battered metal cabinet, Vash does his best not to trip over any fallen toolboxes and their contents or shin himself on the corner of some workbench as he eyes to wade towards the farthest wall in search of a break in the carbide panels lining the maintenance bay. 

The poor lighting and shimmer of condensing air about them obscures finer details, even with keen eyesight. Glimmers of light catching on raven hair between pulses of amber are reminiscent of crystalline feathers, and the implications there are unsettling. Continually stealing glances at Wolfwood every so often ensures that the priest is still actually there. Living, breathing. Wearing the same suit he was buried in. Vash has to remind himself to breathe. Limp, breathe, limp– grab??

“Erk.”

With his progress suddenly impeded, Vash can do little more than frown as Wolfwood applies a makeshift dressing to the wound on his leg. Not the first time, and evidently not for the last. Noticeably absent from the Preacher's usual standard of care is a foul-mouthed lecture regarding Vash's questionable life choices.

Somehow, the lack of cursing is worse. 

"Yeah," Vash affirms, leery-eyed and half expecting a maelstrom to blow his way any second now. 

Digging graves was a long, arduous process that Vash was well acquainted with. Whether they were good, bad, or somewhere in between in life, that did not mean the deceased were undeserving of their last rites. Wolfwood had not been volunteered to help lay the dead to rest, but Vash knows he will not be working alone when the time comes.

That couldn't be the root of all the tension though. Despite Wolfwood's many gripes, they both have gotten their fair share of shoveling-induced blisters.

Wolfwood's marked silence is too unnerving to ignore by this point.

Vash the Stampede cannot read minds. What he can do is hazard his next best guess. One accompanied with a wince as the last strip of fabric is tied off around his thigh. The canvas, some shade of pale he cannot discern under the current lighting, slowly darkens with blood over the site of his injury. Soon enough, the bleeding will stop. 

"...You're mad at me," he ventures. That alone does not encompass everything, all that Wolfwood has already witnessed and what he hasn't, but it's a good start. 

"Right, like you didn't see that coming," the Preacher grouses, shunting the door more or less shut behind them, briefly letting his grasp on Vash slip to ensure their security.

Whatever the scavengers struck in their clumsy lob of munitions, the aftermath impedes their hunt with dense, shimmering fog. Oxygen, perhaps. Coolant, likely, sublimating into gas as soon as the liquid strikes the air. Nicholas may not know the mechanism of it, the how or the what, but he understands the advantage it affords their escape. Even if it is a temporary escape.

It buys them a little while, depending on how driven their pursuers are, how determined they are to collect the bounty on the Humanoid Typhoon's head, how ready they are to defend their claim. Nighttime in the desert flashes cold - too cold. Dusk, dawn, those are the best times to do their dismantling work, but this interstellar carcass is too vast for their current cadre. There are bound to be more.

All of this plays out in the lines of tension clenching Nick's stubbled jaw, familiar worries, familiar adrenaline boiling in his blood.

Wolfwood appears, at a glance, vital. Hale.

Alive, lively.

Sun-dark, dark-haired, but in the auxiliary lighting, Vash can see that he is both the same and not. He is wearing the same suit and shirt he was on that day two years ago. The bullet holes in his jacket may have been mended, but the stains remain - blood flaked away, leaving rust on perspiration-tinted white. The skin exposed appears unscarred, unbroken, limned in fuzz brazenly and openly shown.

Like time stopped, or was rewound on its spindle, to just before. Perhaps it will begin to turn again. Perhaps his time is borrowed. They have no way of knowing, and so the Undertaker flung himself right back into the familiar, questing for a way to make it make sense.

And here, with whiskey and not quite a whine, is where it begins to unravel.

Over the rims of his glasses, he looks. Really, truly looks at the whole picture, and all the while he closes the distance between them, setting the Punisher to lean against the odd slant of a wall between two workstations, ripping a piece of fabric off of one of the tables. The machine no longer needs its shroud.

Funny how that works out.

Pulsing amber light is enough for sensitive eyes. Eyes that rove from head to toe and back, drinking in details while inadvertently exposing his own. Eyes that carry an inner glint, easily missed--tapetum lucidum, gold in deep brown, ember-echoes of a beast prowling the shadows beyond the glow of a campfire. Easily missed, too, is the glimmer of what might be sweat clinging to his sideburns, oddly quilled, like some of the hairs near his nape.

All those colonists. A burial. Resignation rumbles in his sigh, something too sensitive to prod right now.

As Vash searches, finds a route through the jumble of metal, Wolfwood crouches down, leveraging sharp teeth - maybe a touch too sharp - to tear the canvas into strips. Without asking and without warning he reaches, seizes hold of one of Vash's many belts in a bid to keep his injured leg still.

"Looks like just a graze," he observes, shouldering in to wrap the injury. Calm, steady movements. A calm he does not feel.

[fuzzkaizer]

SEHAT EFFECTORS - blown rite

"our take on Germanium Fuzzrite variant, loaded with NOS Toshiba & Sony Germanium Transistors."

cred: sehateffectors.com/

[hellraiser-gorydays-kwort]

HEX U VEX U LIKE THE JAY ufo rainbow Household maid huxtable

Guatdian MESSAGE BORED )))))))🎃)))🏀 killa T bag I treats...SALEMS LOT CARRIE....KTAH JON HOMES.ALYCE...POLITO

.

.

DD B SCOTTI GUY COT...INDIA BIGILUS..PEDDOS BUTTCHECKS..MOON NITE

lol.

💉🔫

HOME STALONE...SCLAPED LIKE JAP

GUY COT FUCK OFF

This. Is Donald Walters😺ya rite rat.paws.off.nite alaby

New 👻💯

🚫

Tuu Sick

Guy cot. Aficaa. Elephant trank. gHos whips..get deeper than the slave ships

🚫🍄

MUCH.TORONTO

🎅NBD

N that went beyond fuck.. ron n e.courtland.ball at ne court than..Peach fuzz ...haircut...n juss way beyond

Pink butterflys put u on a peddastool

Dunce like a bb in the corner

YOUR SUM DIP CHRISTO👺

That hound aw sick pup

zz top

/

Haha kwort kobain..whiskey n church

cuz we are biz are

[strangecreationchaos]

re-reading acosf ,and found some new stuffs.

1. gwyn and azriel are never romantically inclined-

this is gwyn's first reaction when she saw azriel in the training session.her first meeting with azriel after azriel saved her-

gwyn hadn't returned a smile ! so she was uncomfortable around him in the beginning. when azriel keep coming to their training the girls started interacting and get comfortable eventually!he was her saviour, and his presence somehow made her uncomfortable! because it bring back old memories.

now lets see the pov of azriel that gets so much fuzz , her reaction to azriel's presence-

she was there to practice thinking she would be alone as everyone were busy for solistice! she wanted to practice alone ! AND EVERY TIME SHE SAW AZRIEL ALL SHE THINK ABOUT HER EXPERIENCE IN SANGRAVAH !

and she wished him happy solistice to which azriel take as a DISMISSAL!

her reaction hasn't changed since their first meeting to the solistice! he is a reminder of her worst memory even if she survived it and he saved her.and she still feels uncomfortable around him! and lets not forget her sister was killed right infront of her eyes that day.

about her connection with the shadows , she used to feel the shadows under the library and she and nesta once went to explore the bottom levels as well and when azriel's shadows are peering at her she smiled at THEM ! not at azriel! so may be she can understand the shadows or it has something to do with her power not with azriel!!!

After that azriel gave the chain to clotho to give it to gwyn but no body saw it on gwyn so probably gwyn never received the necklace!

now the training pit scene , lets focus how azriel and cassian are giving tough courses for them to complete and also mock them ( which is probably to encourage them more ) .she is the one who asked what they will get if they finish the course? to which azriel mocked that there is no prize as they will never win and gwyn took it as a challenge! and aimed to prove herself!

when she finally succeeded she went to az and show her hand as a taunt to receive the prize the illyrian warrior mocked that they will never receive!! to which azriel revealed that they already got the prize as it was a qualification test for the blood rite.

i don't know how many people will be able to notice it but gwyn is never comfortable around azriel becoz he reminds her of the worst memory that she survived. she survived yes but its still her worst memory! her sister was killed and she was r*ped. and everyone cassian and azriel gave them any challenge she work hard to prove that she is strong now ! especially to her saviour azriel! and if someone read nesta's comment to azriel being the new ribbon after reading gwyn's discomfort around him ,they will understand that its not a romantic statement rather its a student taking a challenge from her mentor and determine to prove herself.

( i would like add my opinion on her behaviour , when her sister get killed and she was assaulted she may have lost the hope that she will survive and after watching and going through all that she would have wished to die more because of the guilt that now she have in her heart because of her sister's death! may be she blames it on az for saving her ( just my opinion) either for being late ! because if they came a little early her sister could have survived ! or for saving her and now she left with all that guilt of her sister's death and the horrible memories she is blaming herself, if you read the part where she shared her feelings with nesta , she said she miss her sister and was guilty! what if she is guilty of her death and thats why she can't forgive az for saving her ! and by the time she is making herself stronger. and az notices and he is also trying to make her feel comfortable as he himself get the reminder of that incident everytime he see her!

there is not a single romantic inclination here and in case of azriel ,he is just being polite around her.

2. gwyn and emerie have a role to play as a valkarie in illyrian women ,and library priestess's life. but they are not a part of IC!

if you see gwyn and emerie are mostly associated with the valkarie training, they may ended up creating a new valkarie troop by adding the priesteses and illyrian women but they are no way Directly connected to IC. gwyn's power may have some short of significance with the timing of her prayer but it is still unknown.

3. azriel and elain are still the hot topic for the IC!

well when its comes to the IC az and elain's name are mostly associated and taken together or related with eachother for every family conversation. for example feyre's response to her pregnancy secret, he told az that elain will beat him in secret keeping, for nesta elain fight azriel's shadows are ready to strike , cassian noticing the change in azriel's behaviour, amren telling AZRIEL that elain is strong enough to find the trove,nesta thinking that elain learning stealth from az or from Nuala and cerridwen ,rhys asking az to stop panting over elain, nesta noticing azriel's discomfort from elucien bond, and mor avoiding the whole setuation and staying away ! every discussion of elain somehow gets connected to azriel! the whole IC knows and understands elriels equation.

4.the bigger obstruction for elriel is still mor and lucien!

rhys mentioning about mor to azriel even though mor never returned his feeling can have another reason and that is eris! what happened between mor and eris is still unknown. and now the IC is directly dealing with eris, in normal case cassian and az both used to be the buffer to protect mor, but as cassian is mated , mor has to deal with eris all alone if azriel left her side. and as she is always uncomfortable around eris , azriel is still needed as a buffer untill the conflict get solved.

and for elain her mating bond, even if she hasn't rejected it yet even after a whole year she is not comfortable around lucien and then there is a huge past of lucien to get unfold , along with his new found bonding with vassa.

The most prominent connection among these is still elriel! and everyone in the IC notices that and with elain agreeing to start searching for the trove and as nesta doesn't have her full power anymore, it will be elain to find the fourth dread trove and she being the one who was able to track the koschai and also able to see vassa, she not only have to find and defeat koschai but also have to save vassa from her curse.which is going to be the next story of the novel.

[fishmans]

2022年ベストトラック

2021年ベストトラックは忙しさにかまけて飛ばしてしまいましたが(ちなみにベストトラックは「おもかげ/milet×Aimer×幾田りら」でした)、2022年ベストトラックは春前になんとかまとまりました。

毎週水曜日と金曜日の新譜リリース日にSpotify公式のニューリリースプレイリストを全曲チェックして、気になるものがあったらプレイリスト候補に追加しておき、4時間半分くらいたまったら曲順を考えつつプレイリストを作成するというのがこれまででしたが、こちらも時間がなく候補のまま年を越す有様。

というわけで、プレイリスト候補に入ってる2022年リリース曲から以下の段階を経てベストトラックを選んでいきました(それぞれプレイリストとして公開します)。

2022年全曲

プレイリスト候補に登録された2022年リリース曲からカバー曲、リミックス曲、現在利用できない曲を除いた1619曲。

2022年ベストトラック候補

2022年全曲から「信頼できる音楽好きの友人6人に聴いてもらいたい曲か？」という観点で選んだ381曲(これでも十分絞れた感あり)。

2022年ベストトラック

2022年ベストトラック候補をひたすら聴き返して選んだ132曲(これ以上は削れない隙のない曲ばかり)。

曲だけ聴くにはプレイリストを参照していただければよいのですが、テキストとして残しておきたいのと、Spotifyには抵抗があるという方のために、オフィシャルMVがあるものについてはそちらのリンクを付けて全曲列記しておきます(アーティスト名順)。

Bジャンプ/4na

そぐわな/4na

バッドルーティン/4na

ミーエンミー/4na

AIDA/ano

ちゅ、多様性。/ano

灯台/Bialystocks

¿Y Como?/Bratty×ハインズ

光/cadode

Minnesota/Carlie Hanson

Come Back Around/Carlie Hanson

Throw Away the Bad Parts/CC81

SURPRISE/CHAI

まるごと/CHAI

School/Chilli Beans.

Tremolo/Chilli Beans.

変わる消える feat. mei ehara/Cornelius

断面/Dios

Free/Doul

Funk Monk/The Du-Rites×Money Mark

Loose/ego apartment

A Reflection Of A Reflection/El Ten Eleven

About me/E.scene

言の葉/Eve

OVER/FENNEC FENNEC

The First Time (Is The Last Time)/For Tracy Hyde

Friends/For Tracy Hyde

Run & Gun/Gecko & Tokage Parade

音楽/Ghost like girlfriend

Boy & Girl/GRMLN×TAESAN

Revolution/GRMLN×TAESAN

Passion/THE HAYABUSA

Pool Boy/Hello Forever

アルペジオ/Homecomings

Pale Rain/imase with PUNPEE & Toby Fox

泡/iri

雨の匂い/iri

baton/iri

背中/I's

Pluto/Jam Fuzz Kid

4629/JITZUWA FINDER

Under The Sun/Nishihara Kenichiro×J-Live×Michael Kaneko

カメレオン/King Gnu

実りの唄/Kitri

ゲームオーバー/mei ehara

ピクチャー/mei ehara

Renew/mol-74

こんにちは/never young beach

こころのままに/never young beach

多分、あれはFly/NIKO NIKO TAN TAN

水槽/NIKO NIKO TAN TAN

三月/odol

望み/odol

ModernRomance/Offo tokyo

人の瀬/paionia

ジャスコ、上野/peanut butters

スーパーハイパー忍者手裏剣/peanut butters

Sun/[.que]

カナタハルカ/RADWIMPS

月に吠える/ROTH BART BARON×中���佳穂

1988/SAKANAMON×たかはしほのか

FEST/SAKANAMON

night walker/South Penguin

Timelapse/SPECIAL OTHERS

ヒストヒプス/SUPER HELLER

せまいまち/suya suya junction

REFLECTION feat. 中村佳穂/tofubeats

OOOL/tricot

お茶/UA

ララ/Uniolla

Fluffy/U-zhaan×mabanua

mabataki/Vaundy

走馬灯/Vaundy

NO TIME/VivaOla×SIRUP

TOMORROW/VivaOla

Especially You/Wallows

Julia/The Wisely Brothers

Two minutes/The Wisely Brothers

Fubuku/JunIzawa×WOZNIAK

ZARIGANI/xiangyu×Gimgigam

L.A./YeYe

landmark/YOHLU

I Lied/Youmentbay

Midnight Phone/Youmentbay

I Want A Dog/ウィーザー

鬱夢くたしかな食感/エルスウェア紀行

予感/カネコアヤノ

気分/カネコアヤノ

夢にならないように/グソクムズ

バスが揺れて/グソクムズ

もうすぐだなぁ/グソクムズ

本当なんてぶっ飛ばしてよ/クリープハイプ

ポケットの中/くるり

愛はもう/さとうもか

朝/さらさ

どこでもいいから/ズーカラデル

GHOST/ズーカラデル

都会の幽霊/ズーカラデル

夜行バス/ズカイ

Waiting for the sun/ゆうらん船

Flag/ゆうらん船

きれいなおと/リーガルリリー

ほしのなみだ/リーガルリリー

Candy/リーガルリリー

ノーワー/リーガルリリー

地球でつかまえて/リーガルリリー

明日戦争がおきるなら/リーガルリリー

Black Summer/レッド・ホット・チリ・ペッパーズ

漂流/三浦透子

風になれ/三浦透子

MIU/中村佳穂

さよならクレール/中村佳穂

fifteen/優河

Like a Wolf/児玉真吏奈

19℃/君島大空

ある日のこと/坂本慎太郎

気分じゃないの (Not In The Mood)/宇多田ヒカル

Find Love/宇多田ヒカル

hikage/宇宙ネコ子

飛日/小林私

喜劇/星野源

ビーボーイ/汐れいら

夏をあきらめきれなくて/江沼郁弥

離れられない/清竜人

ゴーストタウン月見草/禁断の多数決

うつつ/秋山黄色

うろんなひと/笹川真生

光るとき/羊文学

grace/藤井風

damn/藤井風

あかい惑星/黒子首

トビウオ愛記/黒子首

2022年ベスト50(おまけ)

2022年ベストトラックから全曲バブルソートでベスト50を選んだ上で、順位とは関係なく繋がりを考えてプレイリストにしました。

まずはベスト50を聴いてみて、何か引っかかるものがあったらベストトラック、ベストトラック候補と広げていただければと。

2022年ベスト10(さらにおまけ)

これまではしてなかった順位付けを初めてしたので、一応ベスト10だけ記載しておきます。

Find Love/宇多田ヒカル

気分じゃないの(Not In The Mood)/宇多田ヒカル

きれいなおと/リーガルリリー

そぐわな/4na

ジャスコ、上野/peanut butters

水槽/NIKO NIKO TAN TAN

AIDA/ano

GHOST/ズーカラデル

I Lied/Youmentbay

あかい惑星/黒子首

基本Spotifyで聴くことがほとんどですが、車で聴きたいものはCDを購入してます。昨年購入したアルバムは、宇多田ヒカル「BADモード」、リーガルリリー「Cとし生けるもの」の2枚ですね。

[notmuchtoconceal]

- she could endure him, cliff. she could endure most anything short of you.

she was not herself.

- i am not yourself.

she was as he was – though gentle.

- we've established – you can be gentle, cliff.

she was the only one – who could make you ashamed to be an animal.

- you're a person.

she was a person.

- people do shit sometimes, sweetie – it's not like… the holocaust museum. 

you'd never been. 

- we should go, it's fun.

she was too blonde to make that statement.

- i am a strawberry.

though not wild, she was fat – staring at you from the beads of strange contours.

- i am the sasquatch of peach fuzz. 

when you were around her – it was like ya didn't have a dick.

- when i'm around you, it's like i have one. 

she was always strategic – with her phantom dick thoughts.

– it would have been harder for napoleon – they were a lot more northward then.

from tricorner to all corners – she brought conquest back into fashion.

- the trends that i set — in tracks down your arm.

these fuckin people – were way too easy to subjugate and enslave. 

- a self-certified doctorate of body linguistics – our paperless apiary in a land without trees!

to lore – and to snore – all was lax without standards. 

- i wanna die, cliff

she could make you sometimes – feel really sleepy.

… i wanna die.

one day, for a reason you'd sure you'd forget – you ripped her limb from limb – tossed her brains out her skull to stew as hotpot in a broth of her own intestines. / when it began, maybe it did.

you didn't know – it didn't seem to make sense to you. nevertheless you were there – it was happening. you couldn't make it stop.

– organelles, clanking against your teeth. seashells somewhere. a cesarean of zippers.

please stop. please stop.

why are you doing this ... ? was it a mistake ...

see now. with your own eyes.

you can no longer say, my son – that you are unlike, for you are pure in your intentions –

wear your malice openly, as this is the honorable thing –

you are pestilence – as all men are pestilence –

for a man who does not claim infects by rite of unintention –

they veil you in guze – to see streaks of light in their burnished eyes. holdfasts stacked upon beds of rot – bending under a pier which collapses to foam on the surf. 

run, cliff. run from them. 

you must story yourself against a tide – rocking at the shores, battering at our doors. do not trust your fathers. do not trust your fathers, nor love your mothers, for they eat of the men you must not – eat the bread of rye fungal with ergot less you live to die the dance in frenzy to her –

look upon you – poisoned. how much more poison can you take. blearied. deadeyed. hungry for slavery. do you think you are deadwood rotting on a beach waiting to be taken and carven – bask in the radiance of firelight before the brine of a starlit body, tell me –

do you hunger for the subjugation of your will?

my son – you yearn for the vaster pastures and the greenest prairies, where the hills roll upward in mounds so much like roe and so much like the mounds before warm slits to lip and teeth –

this charnel house where we have kept your unborn brother – and you, you see – are merely this thing that you are, and you are merely me – and i am merely some gesture towards infinity – and out there, yes, that too is me in the lattice of filament which upholds the stars – 

where entangle worms and fuurther up the hearty twigs, the stolid trunks – the roots of the other tree, am i that, too? well, should you ask – there'll be a sequel coming soon!

now you know and you love and have the best and them both – the art and the shlock. i repeat and i retain – though i retain only so much – still you come back again and i gain – though both we stain, less and i more – to what pleasure do i owe this pain?

he liked to make fun of you – whoever he was that you became after you did that thing that you did.

it was trite, frankly – that she wanted to die for no reason.

you had to tell this story again.

- was it too painful the first time, cliff? or weren't you paying attention?