#general consensus in the apartment was that none of the things they propose have any pay off

[suck-mein-pokeballs]

Watched "The Outside" from Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities with my roommates

We all agree it was wack and the weakest episode so far

[lightlycareless]

First, it hurts— Chapter XXVIII

Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader

While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.

Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.

Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?

Chapter warnings: mentions of infidelity/adultery, abuse, some slight flashbacks here and there, allot of conflicting internal thoughts, delusions 💀 overall, it’s sad.

A/N: Nothing to say, except thank you for your support ❤ Also, I'm going to take a small break starting today because I'll be going on a cruise!! Exciting. I'll let you all know when I come back :>

Without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰

Masterlist ➸ Chapter 29

Ao3 link.

It is said that the more one is exposed to appalling experiences, the more one becomes desensitized to them, begins to see them as normal, mundane, and eventually passes undetected to the conscience.

Thus families nurtured in this kind of lifestyle unwittingly continue on this cycle of abuse, passing on unsolved trauma to the next generation as if it were the right thing to do, since that’s all they’ve ever known—subduing those that dared to question their methods by the rule of “it’s always been this way, and always will be”

The Zen’in were no different. Just another family surrounded by subjugation, horror, and silence. And such was the complexity of their structure that their members believed this would remain like that for the rest of their days, giving up the idea of even trying.

That is, until you came along.

The estate was… rattled, so to speak. Baffled, concerned, some even scared , and all because of what transpired, what’s happening, and for what’s yet to occur.

The tension that surrounded everyone was enough for the staff members to think of themselves incapable of completing their job, at least not without their mind taking them to the happenings of that fateful day—this however, quickly turned insignificant when their livelihood was threatened by the need of a salary, as well as Meiko’s incessant nagging comments about having to keep the estate together and how everything seemingly befell on the shoulders of the only capable person to do so, referring to herself of course.

But even with these reminders, with necessities having to be met… what took place was not something that could fade into the background so easily, because it should’ve never happened in the first place:

You stood up to Naobito.

Some called it an act of defiance, the most treacherous betrayal a woman could commit against the Zen’in estate.

Others thought of it as an act of compassion, especially when considering it was made with the intentions of protecting your abusive husband from his equally maligning father.

Nonetheless a consensus still remained, a statement both parties could agree on: it was unforgettable. 

This was to be perhaps the most disquieting thing to occur in the estate in the past few years. Moving the birth of the “useless” twins Mai and Maki—which eventually faded into irrelevance once their aimless destinies were sealed—as a third contender.

But still second best to Toji’s insurgence. Nonetheless, there were some that begged to differ, saying that what you’ve done was far more outrageous, because after all, it was natural for a man to stand up for himself. In fact, some (hypocritically) expected him to do so after a while, allowing the delusional ones to console themselves by saying this was not unforeseen at all.

What set you apart before their eyes was the fact that you were a woman , a member of the submissive gender, the less-than-impressive one, the one that was “genetically imposed” to take what’s given to them because they had no other purpose than to serve…

Taking their prejudiced mentality into account, it was only natural that the clan would be appropriately offended when you decided to take on the highest contender. 

Many took this succession as best as they could—or perhaps the only way that it could— as a shocking testament that you were never meant to fit with the Zen’in, no matter how many times they tried to break you in.

And those that knew of your precarious relationship a bit better… took it as a demonstration of the complexity of your feelings towards Naoya, and your marriage.

In other words, this situation was complicated as it can be, and it was hard to cement a definite opinion on it…  an ambiguity which led the gullible members of the clan to chime in and profess that your sudden occurrence was an omen of change, a symbol of an uncertainty yet to come.

It was only a matter of time before the river of their fate began to shift courses and show the repercussions of what you dared to do…

But of course, these connotations were nothing more than fallacies at the end of the day—because why would this ever signify something different in the putrid world of  the Zen’in? 

This isn’t some kind of dream where everything will start changing thanks to the power of empathy and understanding; Naobito wasn’t going to change his tyrant ways, Naoya isn’t going to soften towards his wife, and you … you weren’t going to sympathize with him either.

It just like they would say: It doesn’t work that way… as much as one of them would’ve wanted it to be.

The second most publicized celebrity behind this incident, Naoya Zen’in, the heir of the Zen’in clan, your husband… was never one to believe in superstitions, but on this occasion, he would be part of the group that anticipated a change.

A positive one, specifically between you and himself.

However, as involved as he was in this peculiar situation, he couldn't be any more stranded.

After you stood up for him against his father, his life took a drastic turn… for the worst. 

He began to be tackled from all ways possible, allowing him little to no time to overcome the emotional turmoil the shocking revelation pertaining to his relationship brought him, and what it meant.

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

The first thing that happened immediately after the small altercation between his wife and his father diffused was the reprimand for his atrociously poor performance at the exam by the elders. 

This was set to happen whether he had the argument with Naobito or not, but if it’s worth mentioning, his father had in a way gone ahead to set the foundations of the humiliation that was waiting for Naoya at the main meeting room, but even that was to be nothing compared to what followed.

After the elders were suitably informed of Naoya’s failure, as well as his astonishing mistake, it was only right that the proper repercussions would be set.

Due to the gravity of his actions, HQ had decided to suspend him from all sorcery activities for 6 months , much to Naoya’s horror.

It was later revealed that they were actually tempted in rebuking his license permanently, since attacking civilians—seems the paid actors for that test were civilians after all, family members of sorcerers who wished to help the community by providing authenticity to the simulation— was one of the highest crimes you can commit against the morals of the jujutsu community, but because this is a unacceptable splurge in the somewhat “pristine” reputation of the Zen’in  clan, the elders managed to strike an agreement with the higher-ups and not only remove him from this perpetual punishment, but also water it down to no more than a few weeks.

Naoya wished to fight back his sentence, saying that he didn’t know they were actual civilians, but those defenses wouldn't matter in the great scheme of things. Regardless of the victim, the deed was done, and the elders had already done more than they should’ve to save Naoya from this horrid predicament which would worsen their standing against other families —their vehement laughter echoing in their minds— so it was in his best interest to remain quiet, lest he wants to deal with a worse version of the retribution they’ve already planned for him, which would follow in the shape of revoking his privileges of overseeing the Hei. 

Even though he still didn't have official jurisdiction over them, they would no longer allow him to play with his “toy soldiers” until his suspension was done—that also meant training with them.

Instead, he’ll have to do it with the kukuru unit. Not even the akashi , considered to be the downgraded version of the Hei , was to be in his grasp. He’d have to deal with the bottom of the barrel if he’s to keep his skills at their best, and thereafter, regain the favor of the clan.

Naoya remained quiet, a life of harsh indoctrination was bound to teach him so, forcing him to accept his punishment and bear with it.

Yet, he was able to admit that your absence from this discussion was of great relief—your death sentence still lingered in the back of his head, and he could only dread thinking about what would happen if they decided to set their eyes on you…

“You should be glad we aren’t looking at your wife for punishment” one would boast, almost as if they were reading his mind, all while a devious smirk appeared on their face.

“Waiting for her to come to your rescue again?” another sneered, egging him on upon noticing the slightest tension building up on the heir’s shoulders.

He could take this—their mockery. It’s nothing new to him, it’s their automatic response to whenever committing a failure. 

However, the following words are not, and it’s what ultimately has whatever’s left of his resistance crumbling into submission.

“Why should we punish her? At least she’s doing what’s expected of her. Ah, but it's a shame that she’s found comfort in the presence of another man…”

As stated before, their words were never one that he cared for, not more than the necessary anyways. Often taking whatever came out of them as nothing more than jealousy, ire because he had achieved more than they would even dream of.

But now… he’s not so sure anymore.

Their words were like stabs against all he ever stood for; sharp, deep, and relentless, with no signs of stopping, as they bled out all over the cruel attestation of his reality.

His persona was wounded, his career deferred, and his marriage… broken.

And one doesn’t need to take more than a quick glance at his sorrowful reaction from your mention to understand they’ve landed a critical hit.

This overall conflict was perhaps the most unpredictable, painful one he’s ever had to face in his life.

There were many things crossing his head at that particular moment, from fear, to relief, anger, and finally… sadness. But the more he ruminates on them, the more afflicted he is by them.

He tries to go back and recount his memories, attempting to find an answer, but it never comes through.

All that he can remember is that his mind was in shambles when he came back to the estate due to his failing score.

Knowing that there was nothing to receive him outside of anger and disappointment, he prepared himself to compliantly accept the harsh reprimands his father would give him whenever trying to rectify him—if there was anything that he would change, perhaps, was the stage in which his actions would take place; because the last thing he wanted to see was your face alongside his brother’s when he was being reproached for returning a failure.

But of all scenarios that he had in mind, never in a million years would he guess you would step in between the two and defend him .

You…  took a stand against his father, the man that tortured many before him, and will continue to do so after him. The clan leader which he had the so-called honor of calling his father, but had been nothing more than a stranger throughout his whole life.

He’d seen his wretched works firsthand, and how they extended to any horizon he deemed conquerable—not even you were to be off-limits. 

And yet… it was as if none of these things mattered to you as you went ahead and demanded him to stop .

You stepped between the two and put a halt to his customary derails simply because…

Because why?

Why did you… help him?

Naoya wishes to say that it was because you always cared for him, that you were only being difficult in the privacy of his chambers because of an allegedly timidity, but it was always in your nature to be kind

That this selfless demonstration was your graciousness speaking up, the same one he saw and fell in love with the first time he met you many years ago, finally taking hold of your actions and nurturing him the same way you’ve seemingly been doing with others…

He tightly held on to this belief as much as he could for the sake of his deplored heart, but as the days went by and you seemed to move on with your life, he realized… there was something wrong going on.

His mind frantically began to search for logical conclusions, a possible explanation—but just as he continued to stumble into dead ends, his frustration slowly began to take the reigns of his conscience, to the point where he foolishly started believed that your distance was your way of dealing with the aftermaths of taking his father head on, and once that was done, you would eventually return to him with a new understanding of one of the many struggles he had to deal with throughout his whole life, as well as sympathy towards him.

In other words, giving way to a new start for this marriage.

If that was the case—he could understand it. His father isn’t the kind of man he’d want to be close to, and certainly didn’t want you to be close to him either.

But of course, why wouldn’t his mind manufacture all of this?

He continued to hear through whispers across the halls of your kindness towards the staff in the days after, towards his relatives such as Jinichi —which he always ostracized due to his appearance and lesser talent compared to Toji— or the twins—nothing more than shameful members of the clans —so… why not him?

You’ve definitely seen just how terrible his father could be even with his own kind, demonstrating that your fair share of sour experiences were not something solely exclusive to you, something the two could relate to now. 

Besides, there was no way you hadn’t heard of his punishment for failing his exam at that point, and given your somewhat positive reputation… wouldn’t this evoke any sense of compassion from you and attempt to… well, at least comfort him? Even if for a moment, just as you’ve done to others? Just like you did to him… that one fateful day?

But the more he waited, the more he realized that this incident, far from moving you closer towards him… seemed to have pushed you even further away.

And it soon became painfully obvious that besides attempting to complete your chores as the Lady of the House, you were trying actively to avoid him.

He didn’t get to this conclusion first since there were few occasions you were completely surrounded by your staff, following through whatever duty you’ve decided to take on for the day, or being supervised by his aunt Junko in a new chore she deemed necessary for you to either learn anew, or improve.

In those particular moments… Naoya kept his distance. He had been instructed from a very young age that just as women had their role at the house, men had theirs, and it was for the smooth development of the estate that both genders keep out of each other’s way… it’s why he endured the stinging sensation that you brought to his heart whenever he saw how quickly you turned around and headed the other way as soon as you caught a glimpse of his presence. 

Naoya… attempted to give you the benefit of the doubt, for his sanity’s sake, but his resolve began to crack when it came to your leisure.

In your free time, and even in between tasks, you’d found yourself in the company of the twins, the two girls he’d never even bothered to care for, outside of berating them as failures to his father whenever he could.

The way that you seemed to be completely enamored by them, acting accomplice to their ridiculous antics, or providing an attentive ear to their gibberish, made him wonder if they were that interesting to begin with…

Could they really be…? Even more than your own husband?

He felt no threat coming from Mai or Maki, but his security didn’t crumble until Naoaki stepped into the picture—the bane of his existence, and now seemingly, the blessing of yours.

When you were not with your staff, with the girls, or even his other relatives… you were with him .

This had to be the scenario that he least expected to happen while he was away; it never even crossed his mind because it was so absurd to him to even consider it, because he seemingly had no motives to do so.

He entrusted that the people he’d assigned for your care would keep you away from the rest of the clan, or that least you would, hoping in a subconscious level that the rumors surrounding his family (as well as his own jealousy) would at least serve you as a warning to not intermingle with them.

However, it eventually backfired on him, and monumentally so, to the point where all of his accumulated deceptions were too much to handle, leading him to believe that all he’s ever done from a certain point forward in time had been nothing more than to his disadvantage… 

He wishes to say that marrying you was the only thing he did right—but with all that happened… he… he doesn’t know anymore.

You keep away from him whenever you can, to the point where he even wonders if the two of you are married at all: you have long stopped sharing a bed with him, you ignore his attempts to approach you, you can’t even look him in the eye when he’s near!

But when it’s Naoaki… it’s completely different. You’re like a different person.

Whenever he’s around, your eyes seem to sparkle, your smile irradiates a comforting warmth, you laugh as joyfully as if he just told you the funniest joke in the world, hell, even your cheeks brighten up in such a beautiful warm tone when he smiles back at you that Naoya could only compare to dawning of the sun.

And when he’s not there, your eyes always seem to look for him, yearn for his brother, almost as if spending a second apart from him was so dreadful , you’d rather die than to live any longer like that.

And all this, alongside your behavior towards the rest of the estate that isn’t him or his father, forces him to finally take the long-overdue look at the mirror and wonder… 

Is there something wrong with me ?

What is he doing wrong that keeps pushing you towards the company of your staff, or the arms of his brother?

He’s given you everything. A home, food, a place to sleep, protection : you’ll never have to worry about money in your life, or the dangers of being a sorcerer; as well as providing you with status many had killed for in the past. 

No one could compare to you, and yet… you’ve settled down with the man that has given you none of these things, or at least things that Naoya can’t comprehend yet.

This is when he realized you were never interested in seeking him at all, and it prompts another question that makes his heart ache whenever he ponders the possible answer…

When… Did this all start? How did you meet? How did he behave with you? As irritable, antagonizing as he was known across the estate? Or was he… different towards you? What… has he done to have you this fixated on him, and nothing more than him?

And… What did you think of him when you first saw him? What do you think of him? Were you as fun with him as you are with the twins? Talkative as you were with your ladies? Attentive as you were with Junko? … Or did he get to see a side no one has, not even your closest?

One that Naoya previously thought solely deserving for himself, and no one else…?

If it’s worth mentioning, he’s not the first one to wonder so.

Those against you , the ones on Naoya’s side so to speak, had previously stated their dismay for your disrespect to him and the clan when you first began to resist their traditions, doubling down when it became apparent Naoaki was beginning to crowd this marriage, culminating on your transgression against the leader.

It was disgusting enough to hear you were comfortable enough to stand up to Naobito, the leader and your father-in-law , so one could only imagine what they thought of you , his wife, cajoling with her brother-in-law.

But circling back to your relationship with Naoaki, they believed your actions to be the highest of violations towards your husband, and that you should be appropriately taken care of—a few suggested a divorce to take place in favor of a more appropriate bride, a somewhat quick and easy endeavor to get rid of you without compromising much, whatever happened to you after they got rid of you was none of their interest.

While those who knew of your death sentence, considered bumping up your execution to be a much more appropriate course of action towards a tainted woman —in their eyes, they’d be doing society a favor.

Hearing their words, as twisted as they were, brought some sense of comfort to Naoya, made him feel he wasn’t the only one seeing how wrong this whole situation was and had to be stopped immediately.

However, those against him, the discreet ones, would make quick work to rattle his insecurities.

Already garnering a favorable image of your persona due to your actions it wouldn’t take long before they began to wish for some kind of reward towards your heroism, specifically in the security division, since the consequences for your involvement had yet to be seen.

Everyone rightfully began to worry for your safety for they knew all too well was Naobito was capable of.

They sort of expected him to set off some kind of doomsday device that would turn the whole estate upside down and on fire, and due to the severity of this threat, you’d be forced to deal with it on your own.

It was the perfect opportunity for those close to you to bail before things got heated, especially for those whose livelihood was put on the line…

But Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi made it known that you had people to rely on by showing their determination to stay by your side, fearless of what’s to come next, effectively proving that their concerns were without basis.

As well as Naoaki, who had come in as a surprise due to his status in the Zen’in clan, alongside the tremulous relationship with his father and youngest brother.

It was an unexpected addition, with some even considering it unnecessary, yet, none of their opinions held weight in his intentions when it came to supporting you… as well as filling the void in your heart.

Naoya had to physically stop himself from barging into the room he was overhearing the staff speak so highly of Naoaki and how happy he made you, by stepping away from them before he did something that would only worsen his already grim situation.

He couldn't understand their delusional audacity on applauding what was undeniably adultery —the way they revered his brother as if he were your husband , saying that it was the least you deserved after all he’s put you through was… baffling to say the least!

He, Naoya Zen’in, heir to the clan, was your husband! The title belongs to him, and no one else—And he had the official papers to prove so!

And not only that, but he also had the economic backing that he’d also taken care of you; everything you’d ever received had been by his work, his merits, and no one else's!

…

But even with all this, it still didn’t hold any relevance in their judgment. It was like he was invisible … insignificant.

Your eyes, and the staff, could only see you and Naoaki together.

Nonetheless, even with all these crude awakenings, Naoya remained hopeful as ever, for there was still had an ace up his sleeve, one that would save him from this pit of sorrow, setting his life back on track… the one he always loathed to think about, but recognized as tremendously effective: his father’s death sentence.

The requirements were unmistakable: if you wanted to live, then you must have a child with him. 

This was a fool proof way to assure your return to him, he was sure of that. In this , he still had the upper hand against Naoaki…

That is, until his reality is warped once more by his surroundings when overhearing one of the elders' discussions taking place during tea time about the strains of your relationship with the heir.

It was nothing serious, a conversation between “friends” even, and nothing intended to go on the record, yet, there is a popular saying that implied a grain of truth to be hidden behind every joke, and this would only serve to once again remind him of how much he had miscalculated the ground he was standing on, and given for granted.

“—it doesn’t matter. As long as the child is a Zen’in, the father is irrelevant”

Naoya wants to vomit.

He still hasn’t been able to overcome the emotional whiplash from being stripped of everything he’s ever worked for and your undeniable indifference towards him, and now, he has to deal with the possibility of you having a child with Naoaki?

Him , of all people, and willingly wanting to ?

This is a nightmare, is what he concludes. 

It’s a never-ending cycle of all of his worst fears, one where the world is constantly spinning around him, tormenting him with the reminders of his failures, of his miscalculations, of what he had and now, does not.

His blood turns cold, and his throat tightens, constrained—inhabited by a perpetual nauseating sensation, epitome of all of his anguish… 

And when this eventually becomes too much for him to take, his mind is quick to snap him into a life of monotony in hopes of saving whatever is left of him, a lifestyle where all that he can do is completely throw himself into training, focusing on nothing more than in the one thing he’s always been considered to be a prodigy in… as well as the only thing he’s still hopeful of recovering.

Days become a blur soon after, repeating over and over again the same action, as if he were nothing more than a walking corpse.

The corpse of a stranger, one that has nothing and is nothing. Aimlessly wandering into the things that bring him the least pain, for happiness has been stripped from his life.

He doesn’t want to think of you, of how much he wants a moment with you, of how he wants to be met with the same enthusiasm you seem to be giving other’s without restraint… while he’s rewarded by animosity, apathy…

Is he truly that despicable? That you can’t even stand to see him?

He was your husband… couldn’t you at least care for him… even if just for a moment?

…

Is he really… not worth anything?

…

…

…

Naoya might believe so—but Ranta, his best friend, does not.

Even after the elders prohibited him from getting close to him due to his affiliation to the Hei, the young man found it impossible to not keep him company. 

The two had virtually grown together, doing everything with one another: eating, training, horse riding…

They knew each other's vices and virtues, which Ranta can admit are a bit… extreme on Naoya’s side, but this only leads him to understand that no matter what is expected of him, he can’t let his best friend face this duel on his own, especially after knowing how all of this affected him.

You, at the top of the list.

He still recalls the day Naoya approached him to tell him of the girl he met at the exchange event and how much he wanted to see her again.

He was never one to speak of his flings to begin with, only letting him know that he had one come over to the estate or that he was going out to see them, so to hear him speak of you elaborately, with a twinkle in his eye, excitement in his voice… is when he knew you were different, special, and it’s what motivated him to support Naoya’s decision on courting you, and subsequently, marrying you.

But even with all this… Ranta has yet to come to terms regarding his opinion on you.

He always kept his distance to the minimum to avoid any problems with the rest of the relatives (and Naoya’s jealousy), thus whatever he knew of you was thanks to Naoya, and what the staff had decided to relay to him…

It’s the version of the staff that made it so difficult for him to make an assessment of you.

They consistently painted you as… someone kind and understanding, selfless and funny— yet, you were so cold and distant to Naoya. Yes, he understood that his best friend was a bit difficult to get along with, and was quite rough around certain edges… but if you got along with his brothers, even Junko (legendary amongst the kukuru unit for being terrifying!) Why not him?

He began to believe that perhaps the delightful side which Naoya felt allured to had been nothing more than a fabrication of his imagination, perhaps to ease the embarrassment of his defeat at the exchange event…

But this assumption was promptly discarded when he eventually saw what the staff members preached so highly about when you stood up to Naobito, it’s then that he saw what attracted Naoya to you in the first place.

What he could not understand, however, is the fact that even after you protected Naoya from his father, or at least easing the punishment from his behalf, the relationship between the two seemed to rupture even more.

No— it was worse than that: it pushed you to be around Naoaki .

Not that he was encouraging you, but of all the siblings that you could’ve chosen from, you’d have to be with the one that Naoya wasn’t particularly fond of!

And the rumors that followed weren’t any better.

Ranta was also aware of how blatantly obvious Naoaki had become around you ever since that fight escalated. Before Naoya returned to the estate his oldest brother half tried to be a bit… reserved (although Ranta definitely assumes he wasn’t doing so intentionally) when it came to getting close to you, giving the impression that he didn’t want anyone to misinterpret his closeness to you, maybe because he always knew, deep inside, that it was wrong .

But those days are long gone, and now, Naoaki seems to exist solely to be by your side and no one else’s. And you don’t seem to complain about it either, taking most of your meals with him whenever possible, welcoming him back to the estate after a day of work, and even serving him tea in between tasks, completely forgetting that you were expected to do all of this to your husband —yet, all these things were only to be the tip of the iceberg.

The most scandalous thing that came out of his advancement was the continuous closeness of his presence by your chambers.

Even if nothing seemed to transpire inside them, mostly just escorting you to your room, wishing you a good night, and retreating soon after… It's the fact that he was there to begin with that unsurprisingly led the estate to believe something far more intimate going on between the two.

And Ranta could only imagine how painful these spreading rumors have been for Naoya to hear. For everyone to essentially agree that Y/N was much better off with Naoaki, even if jokingly… 

No, he doesn’t even have to imagine it. He’s already seen it, with Naoya diving deep into his training, beyond acceptable limits, from the very moment the sun appears to when it sets, that is all that he does. All he can do, for his complaints will take him nowhere due to his powerlessness today—and this is just from hearing the rumors, Ranta dreads to think what would happen if he sees them.

He’s starting to lose himself just so he can somewhat escape the reality of his situation, and the others just observe him. Let him go past his breaking point to—

Whatever road Naoya takes, it’s only going to lead to something worse, that is, if Ranta doesn’t step in and put an end to it.

Thus, it’s with these factors that he’s set his mind to work on finding all possible ways to pull his best friend out of this abyss and set him on the path of resumption.

It’s going to be hard work, Ranta has no doubt of it, considering that whichever angle he perceives this conflict from, there are many obstacles to overcome: from Naoya’s emotional reclusiveness, to your indifference, the staff’s involvement, and Naoaki’s influence. 

Well, nobody ever said that doing the right thing was easy, only that it’s going to be gratifying when achieved. 

His duty eventually begins in one eventual afternoon as he straightforwardly heads to the place he knows where to find Naoya, the only place he seems to be besides his bedroom and dining hall: the kukuru training grounds. Stealthily enough to avoid the eyes of the higher ups who had already caught him once or twice going against their orders and warned him of punishment for a third, as well as to not startle his best friend out of his concentration—training was a sacred time to him, thus anyone that dared to interrupt him for less-than-important matters often faced admonishment from him.

Thankfully, the heir was too focused on finishing his workout to even notice his best friend approaching him from behind, or perhaps had stopped caring all together of whom decided to visit him—because after remaining hopeful for your change of heart, that one day you’d approach him… he soon realized that the only ones crossing that door were just there to scrutinize him.

It’s hauntingly… depressing, a contrasting difference to the confident, slightly arrogant aura he always bore—Just to show that Naoya, even with his difficulties, was still human after all.

The young man continues walking towards him, and it’s until he’s within Naoya’s eyeshot that your husband finally notices him. 

But there’s no greeting or acknowledgement, he only glances at him in silence for a few seconds before diving right back into his training.

Ranta swallows. No matter the amount of times he’s done this in the past, approaching him in this state has always been a nerve wracking experience, and if anything, it has only gotten worse to do so.

Nonetheless, that’s still his friend, and if he is to help him… he’ll power through his concerns.

Thus after a few seconds of eerie silence, Ranta is the first to speak.

“Hey… Naoya” His voice is soft and low, the same as his movements when walking closer to him. “How are you?”

His contact is intended to show that he cares for him and that he’s there to support him, just like how he’d always done in the past, so he can feel safe enough to open up to him… but this turns out to be for naught when Naoya doesn't respond yet again—he doesn’t react, he doesn't turn to acknowledge, nothing. It’s like he’s not even there as he continues on with his work.

Any other day he would’ve allowed Naoya to remain in his secrecy, taking it as the clear demonstration of wanting to be unbothered, but that’s all he’s ever been these past few days, and it’s the reason why he’s there in the first place: to stop it.

So with slight hesitancy, Ranta tries once more.

“Naoya” his voice now holds a sterner edge to it, comparable to a parent trying to get their child’s attention, but faint enough to not give the impression he’s bossing him around. 

And that seems to work much, without the emotional outburst that commonly seems to follow! Much to Ranta’s relief.

“…What?” the heir grumbles. It’s a response, there’s no denying that, but he’s still far from where Ranta wants him— he’s still not looking at him. «Well, it’s better than nothing» Ranta attempts to console himself.

“Nothing much, I… was just checking on you” he admits, eyes fixated on Naoya’s figure and how it shifts from a tense stance, into a relaxed once, signifying the end of one of the sets. “How are you?”

“... fine ” Naoya curtly responds as he prepares for his next workout. He’s still not willing to entertain his best friend, but Ranta thinks he shouldn’t complain, with all things considered, this has been the most he’s spoken about his feelings to him, or to anyone .

The past few days he’d been keeping quiet whenever someone dared to refer to him, perhaps to give off the image that he was above this situation and wasn’t suffering as much as he truly was, or because he fears that opening up, if just for the slightest, would make him lose control of the thin thread he’s barely containing his emotions in and breakdown.

As much as he wants to hide it, it’s impossible for Ranta to not know the truth—in fact, he swears he saw tears falling from the corners of his eyes one day while training. But he wasn’t sure, it could’ve been sweat after all…

“I see” Ranta shakes the distressing thoughts from his mind and moves on “Have you eaten? The guards told me you’ve been here for—”

“I’m not hungry” Naoya cut’s through his words as he goes to bring a training dummy close to his position—his only training partner ever since was demoted to the kukuru’s level.

“Well, if you’re to maintain your condition you have to at least eat a snack or something… are you even drinking water?” Ranta asks and Naoya scoffs.

“I said, I’m not hungry. Besides, I’m not stupid, I’ll do it when I want to” and with that, Naoya plunges back into his training, away from the questions he'd only deem as condescending. 

But his friend, who has long decided to help him out, wasn’t going to allow him to hide.

Thus he begins to hold his breath, gathering all of the courage he can muster to face his friend with a tone that he’s never even dreamed of using, but will do so if he’s to snap him out of this spiral.

“Well, I’m not asking you— you’re going to eat ” Ranta declares, and just as he frightfully expected, the heir’s eyes snap into his direction, a sight so terrifying that fazes him at the spot, cowering him to apologize in hopes of lessening the blow “…if only a little bit”

“Why even bother?” Naoya argues as he continues with his workout, and it gives Ranta the impression that his actions worked and is safe for the moment. “I don’t have time for that—I don’t have to time to waste on things that aren’t training and proving my worthiness as heir”

“…This is just a setback, Naoya, you’re already the heir…” Ranta attempts to rationalize in order to calm him down, but Naoya is far too out to even acknowledge the truth to the evidence.

“What heir is disrespected by his own family? Mocked by those underneath me?” Naoya snaps back, and the unleashing of his disbelief prompts him to land a rather harsh hit on the practice dummy before him and destroy it completely, the broken wooden parts loudly thudding onto the dirt floor.

Ranta stands in place as he is slightly perturbed by the happenings before him.

It’s certainly not the loud noise that has him distressed, for this is nothing more than the usual consequence to his impressive strength, but rather, the implication of his accepted defeat. 

“Humiliated by his brother? Or… ignored by his own wife?” 

On any other occasion, Ranta would’ve done the same and attempted to comfort him by saying that all those people were just jealous of him. That Naoaki’s situation was only something the staff delusionally dreamt of happening, and that his wife wasn’t ignoring him, but rather, was keeping her distance because she was anxious by his return and facing his grieving reaction for having failed the exam…

But now he admits that would only be lying to him, and certainly that’s the last thing Naoya needed at this moment.

“Don’t think I’m not aware of what the elders think of me, and my marriage. I know what they’re talking behind my back. My mere existence as the heir is being questioned, as well as the possibility of my return as a sorcerer. And none of this would’ve happened if I was focused on my exam, if my wife behaved as she’s supposed to and didn’t push me away when I came to see her… if she only… if she only saw me the same way she sees my brother…” Naoya murmurs as he looks down to the broken training dummy, taking them as  a reflection of his own life—broken. “But she won’t even give me the time of day, I might as well make amends with the fact that I’m the failure my father always believed me to be”

It’s painful for Ranta to see how comfortable he is in berating himself, how easy it is for him to jump into this pit of repudiation when things don’t go as he plans, allowing others to influence his perception of himself…

This is nothing like the Naoya he knows; the one that’s always so sure of himself, the one that when faced with uncertainty, pushes through until he gets what he wants.

But this is what Ranta was there for, right? To remind him there is still hope, even in a situation as dark as this, and that he’s not alone.

It’s with this urgency that Ranta decides to cut to the chase and proceed with his original intentions.

“What if… I told you there was something you could do to improve your situation?”

“Like what?” He breathes as he kneels down to pick up the broken pieces of the training dummy, since no one bothered to look after him anymore after he’s done with training.

“I was… thinking” Ranta continues “I’ve been doing a whole lot of that for the past few days, trying to see if there was a way for you to regain your father’s favor, as well as your career back…”

“Have you, now?” Naoya frowns, his interest as superficial as ever—to him, this is just jibber jabber.

“I have. And… I think I found a way to help you” he responds “I don’t know if it’s going to work, but I think it’s worth a try”

Naoya scoffs.

“Don’t give me false hopes with solutions you aren’t even confident about”

“It’s a risk, Naoya… but I still think it’s deserving of a chance” Ranta pushes on “If everything goes well, then not only you’ll have your father’s favor again, but you’ll also be with Y/N”

“What?” Naoya whispers, your mere mention is enough to halt his rebuttal and finally give him the attention he deserves. There’s an underlying skepticism behind his tone, still following the same kind of belief that labeled Ranta’s words as a product of his imagination, but his reaction is undeniable. The slight widening of his eyes, the way his gaze darts back to Ranta… he wants to know . “And what makes you think she’ll want to be part of your plan?”

“You’ll have to trust me” he states “I know it seems far-fetched but… I think this can stop how she’s been avoiding you and maybe… mend your marriage”

It’s subtle, almost undetectable to the human eye, but the way that Naoya’s features brighten up at the prospect of you returning into his life once again, without the interference of your meddling staff or annoying brother, is enough to finally grab all of his attention and place it on Ranta’s words, igniting him with hope.

After all, his friend was right—no achievements could ever be accomplished without taking risks—he should’ve known more than anyone, it’s how he got to marry you in the first place.

So why not give it a try?

“What is it then?” Decisively, Naoya urges him on “What have you planned… to change my life?”

It’s an arrangement that just as Naoya stated, didn’t have any exact percentages of success, but in a realm where there has been nothing but deception and failure, this is a chance that both must take.

It’s the first step to change what has been established and make Naoya realize that he still has a standing in these confusing times, that everything's not lost as it seems.

Ranta just hopes he hasn't miscalculated you .

      After going through all of this, all that is left to tell is the other side of the story, the other side of the coin—the one that came on top of the conflict and was seemingly thriving because of it.

Perhaps it was a bit… dramatic to assume so, tone deaf even, but the estate couldn’t be held accountable for assuming such things after seeing Naoya in such a deplorable state for seemingly having lost everything. 

If one lost, it naturally meant that the other party had won, right?

It meant that you were undeniably enjoying the gallant reputation some members of the staff and your closest ones bestowed upon you, a hero!

…

But they couldn’t be any further away from the truth.

None of these connotations fit your criteria very well, nor did you think of yourself deserving of them. because at the end of the day, what the Zen’in said, what the staff saw, was contrastingly different to what you felt about it all— opting for a different title, much harsher but deserving in your eyes: perpetrator .

Because that’s how you felt right after stopping Naobito’s madness from spiraling any further, and continued to do so even after the whole situation had seemingly cooled down: guilty.

While ones revered you as some kind of beacon of hope, inspiring and outstanding for finally putting an end to the tyrannical ways of the clan leader (temporarily, that is), you couldn’t feel any more ashamed and disappointed in yourself for doing so.

The fascination behind those who placed you on a pedestal, who showed their support through encouraging words or acts of service, all while gluing their eyes on you as they awaited for whatever it was to be your next heroic action, eluded you.

It was both ironic and surprising, really, how you’ve somehow managed to change their initial opinions of you, from displeasure, to admiration , and in such a short amount of time too—if someone had told you this would happen back then when you were still fresh to the Zen’in’s schemes… you would’ve thought they were making fun of you, or died and gone to some kind of purgatory to ruminate on your life’s actions.

Regardless of how you perceived this, it happened, and it undeniably opened many doors of possibilities.

Amongst them, one that believed this kind of feedback would’ve eradicated all uncertainty from your heart in due time, leading you to live your life as fulfilling as you could inside the Zen’in estate: you did what was right, caring little to nothing of what others thought, and were being recognized for such—the glory lead their lives for.

And yet, this didn’t feel anything less than a punishment towards you, as well as a sellout for all that you believed in life.

You wanted it to stop.

You wanted everything to stop.

Stop how the world has been continuously spinning around you ever since you set foot inside the Zen’in estate, drastic change after drastic change, pulling you from all sides at the same time while inundating your mind with confusion as to what you’re supposed to do with everything that’s thrown at you: your search for a way back home, a way to contact your family, but also, your care for the safety of your ladies, the twins, their mother. From there, the horrors of the house you’re living in, how it affects those that are part of it, even the ones at the top, and how it frightens you.

But your mental load wasn’t to stop there, you also had to deal with the fact that you’ve been compromised in more ways than one, humiliated, tortured, exposed… all things that had only made you suffer and question your value as a person.

All of this… and you still did that for the most undeserving of all: Naoya— your abuser .

There’s no fathoming the resentment you held for the actions you committed against his father, Naobito, for his sake.

You loathed how you prevented his comeuppance from happening, stopping him from getting a taste of his own medicine and let him witness a fraction of the terrors he’d continuously put you through for seemingly his entertainment, even if it was just a fragment of what he deserved.

This was to be your divine retribution, a cathartic experience for your reprieve and liberation, and yet… you couldn’t stop your body from moving and coming in between Naoya and his father upon hearing the latter’s wretched words, and the fear in the former’s eyes you could only recognize all too well. 

Those were the eyes of someone that has been hurt in the past, continues to be hurt, and has done unto others because of it: a victim , hiding deep underneath layers upon layers of an assailant .

It was no excuse for his behavior nor was it meant to be taken as such, but none of these things mattered when you take into account that you weren’t the same kind of person as them to easily turn a blind eye at the suffering of others and act as if it didn’t even happen.

You did what your impulses told you to do and placed a halt to Naobito’s rampage, motioning the frightened state of your mind as you wondered what kind of punishments would soon to follow, your decisiveness to not budge at his intimidation because you knew this couldn’t be taken as anything else but an offense… as well as the endless, restless nights that came soon after.

Because as much as you had the backing of some, serving as a method to appease your worries at least for you to get a minute of rest, you were more than acquainted with the fact that there were others who, in their vast majority, worked against you.

Standing out wasn’t a virtue that was encouraged amongst the members of the Zen’in clan, less if it came from a woman such as you , so it was only a matter of time before those that had been waiting for your downfall rushed to take advantage of your “small” slip-up and pushed up your death sentence to the present.

But as the clock ticked, and they have yet to make a movement… is when you realized how in danger you were.

It’s the same deadly thread hunters follow when chasing their prey: They are playing with you, keeping you on edge, so you could waste all of your energy in frantically attempting to protect yourself, so when you inevitable stumble into the end of your efficiency they’d be able to corner you into a tight spot where they’d be able to unleash their anger and you’d have nowhere to run.

You know other’s probably would’ve let this situation go by this point, under the pretense that if they didn't act now, they won't do so later, meaning there was nothing to worry about anymore.

But you know all too well than to trust their silence: how many times have you been betrayed under these circumstances? Under the false pretense of tranquility?

You didn’t have to go beyond a few days ago, when Naoya viciously reminded you of his presence upon returning to the estate, making you feel that you’ve barely escaped his grasp, only to call for you at night.

It was pointless to expect some kind of reassurance from them, so you did what you could and accepted that this was to be another drastic turn in your life as you performed the act of being nonchalant, seemingly being able to move on with your life without much effort as you continued to take on the responsibilities that were assigned to you as the future Lady of the House, as if their threats were nothing more than empty promises. 

You were not affected by their aggressions and would not be intimidated by them, leaving little to no space for their plans to progress…

When behind the scenes, you were nothing more than frightened, for you knew all of this was for the worst yet again.

Away from the prying eyes of the staff and the members of the Zen’in clan, your reality unfolded as it follows:

Sleep was something that you were slowly becoming stranded from, doing what little you could when you were not worrying about one day waking up dead. On the rare moments you’d be able to get a wink of sleep though, it would be continuously interrupted by waking up through various moments of the night. Either way, you were not resting at all.

Eating was also heavily restricted, your appetite being an uncommon occurrence throughout the day. There were moments you’d grab things here and there, but there’s no denying that most of your plates returned half full to the kitchen.

From there, your mind was being overworked by being everywhere at the same time. You were attentive to your surroundings, paranoidly so to the point where you’d flinch when someone got a bit too close to you: you’d convincingly managed to play it off as being naively scared of them, enough to prevent further questioning, but the attentive ones knew that this was nothing more than a natural reaction of you awaiting for your day of judgment.

You continuously exerted yourself to the point where your body demanded to be given a moment of peace, but you were only to continue torturing it by remembering your family and the vivid remembrance that you were never to see them again, at least not in the short term.

You’ve never felt more homesick in your life than in this particular moment, but powerless to do anything, less under the scope and when your sister has yet to respond to your letters… you simply limit yourself by retreating back to your room at the end of the day, the only place that seems to bring you some kind of comfort away from the others, and wait for either your rescue, or your death by the Zen’in; whatever comes first.

A sight that as much as you want to hide it from others, was all too clear to those closest to you: starting by your staff.

When it came to Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi, it was safe to say that this wasn’t an occurrence they haven’t witnessed before; they’ve been through hell and back before just because of serving you, making them the ones that understood you the most.

It didn’t mean it made it any easier seeing you like this, however, it wouldn’t sway them from their commitment towards you.

Haruko and Hitomi did their best to distract you by accompanying you throughout your tasks, or inviting you to join them in their respective areas of expertise: Haruko could teach you a few things about cooking,  and Hitomi could teach you how to sew more difficult pieces.

And when you weren’t feeling particularly interested in those things, they would offer commentary that would hopefully lighten up your mood. They knew you were somewhat  interested in their life before the estate so they made sure to bring that topic into the conversation as much as they could… and it seemed to work at first, noticing your investment through your questions, as well as bringing in experiences of your own here and there; however, it wouldn’t take long before they noticed that your interest was only of a surface level, and that you were only responding so as to not appear rude before them.

It might’ve been offensive to others, inciting them to not partake in conversation with you, but they were nothing if not patient with you, understanding that your wounds have yet to heal in a way that would eventually allow them to enjoy their presence.

Yet, it hurt them. And they wished nothing more than you’d entrust them to share the weight of your worries, if only to alleviate your heart for a moment.

But that wasn’t meant to happen with them. However, where they could not follow, Mariya stepped in.

Mariya, who was first ostracized for a misunderstanding, eventually became one of your closest confidants once that obstacle was surpassed. As a matter of fact, she believes that thanks to this tremulous beginning, the two became far closer than you were with Haruko and Hitomi.

Your prime lady-in-waiting would be one of the few that you’d trusted with the complexity of your feelings when it became too much for you to bear on your own, and the one that comforted you after doing so.

And even when you didn’t tell her, or didn’t want to, she was adept enough to interpret the underlying sentiment behind your eyes, deciding to  stay behind after your ladies prepared you for bed and letting you know that this was a safe space for you to voice your thoughts.

It’s in the heartening of her presence that you’d finally reveal what you tormented yourself with every time your mind inadvertently pulled you back to the reiteration of that day, and had done so with such a cruel motive, that she could only think of it as unfair.

“—I feel—I feel so disgusting, Mariya!” you’d wail, curling against your bed as you allowed the agony of your thoughts to flow from your eyes. “I’m—I’m nothing but a failure!”

“Why do you say that, Y/N?” she’d ask softly while attempting to console you by the gentle work of her hand behind your back, letting you know that you could trust her to let your mind free and give her the pain that has been holding you down, trust in her calmness (even when she wants to lose her inhibitions against the Zen’in for inflicting you so much pain) and how everything will be fine in due time.

But her touch only made you feel undeserving of her attention, made visible by the way you attempted to move away from her, but she does not relent. Mariya will never relent. “Why… why do you feel that way?”

“Be—because I—” you sobbed hotly, before looking up to her. Eyes red, cheeks soaked as you caterwauled at her seeming blindness “Because what I did was an insult to all of those that have been hurt by him, by people like them! It’s like I—like I told him that everything was ok , that I forgave him for hurting me, for hurting you ! I’m—I’m just like them! Can’t you see?!” You gasp, preparing yourself to continue on with your berating crusade, but before you’re able to do as much, Mariya wastes no second to take you into her arms and pulls you against her body, a sudden gesture that has you struggling against her hold.

“No, don’t say that” she interjects as she tightly holds you, resting her head against your body as tears begin to form in her eyes “Don’t you ever say that about yourself”

“But it’s—but it’s the truth!” you blubbered back, a noise that stings Mariya’s heart “How could I have done that—how could I have saved him after everything he’s done?! How are you not mad, or disappointed that I did?! Are you—are you not angry?!”

“Because you’re not ” Mariya said once, and would say it again, as many times necessary for you to make peace with yourself. “You’re not the same as him, and you’ll never be. Your actions only demonstrate that even through all the pain that he put you through, you’re still able to do what’s right—something this family is unworthy of… How could I ever be disappointed or angry by that? I admire you!

You’re an amazing, kind person that has been put through so much pain for no reason. So please, don’t be cruel to yourself by comparing yourself to them, because that’s not what I think of you, nor does Haruko, Hitomi, or the twins. We all love you, and we’ll always support you—don’t ever forget that”

You weren’t able to respond to her words outside of whimpers and sniffs as you now basked in her embrace, comforted by her warmth and the kindness of her words. She reminded you of Hinata, your sister, and while it was a bittersweet comparison, you were glad to have someone like Mariya in your life.

Her actions and reassurance were eventually able to lull you down, to the point you fell asleep against her hold. Mariya swiftly moved you back into the futon, where you’d proceed to get some well deserving rest for the first time in days, with her staying by your side the whole night just in case.

Your prime lady-in-waiting had grown to be the kind of person you knew you could always count on for advice, to ground your reality and help you alleviate some of the burdens off your shoulders… so you wouldn’t pass it onto others, such as Haruko and Hitomi which you greatly appreciated and wished nothing more than happiness, or as Mai and Maki, which to your surprise and relief, had remained partially ignorant of the incident.

A fact that you thought impossible, for their mother Junko belonged to the group that were less than amused by your behavior, and after what happened, you assumed you’d never be able to see them again.

And for a moment that seemed to be the course of action, at least from what Mai had told you one day after school, since their mother wasn’t happy with something you’ve apparently done and tried to burden them with tasks so as to keep them away from you; but because she’d already had a taste of what a rising rebellion could invoke, and not wanting to involve Ogi with the precarious woman of the moment , she allowed them to meet you again.

For that, you thanked her—you were eternally grateful for her sliver of compassion because Mai and Maki were the ones that kept you the happiest.

After all, they were children, and they have yet to see the cruelness of the world as it was. To them, as long as they were having fun, nothing else mattered—their joy was contagious and it helped you forget about your problems and just… be yourself.

You enjoyed watching them play as well of their unwittingly funny interactions, it reminded you of your childhood, how carefree and happy you were, alongside the mischievous Hinata and the cool Ren… back then when you were with the family that always welcomed you with open arms, never judged you, back when you were free — 

Memories that were now nothing more than fragments of the past.

A train of thought that inadvertently opened you to become melancholic, a feeling that you fought hard to keep in, away from tainting the girl’s own moment of tranquility, but remaining overtly sensitive to the fragile topic that is your family, as well as Hinata’s continuous silence all you could do is cry before them.

“Are you ok… Y/N-chan?” Mai would be the first to hear you sniff, as well as the first to speak. She initially thought it to be nothing more than a reaction to the cold weather, similar to her, but something inside her told her that was not the case and urged her to double check on you, rushing to your side after seeing the redness in your eyes and the watery outline in them.

“Oh I—I’m sorry, I was just…” you snivel, making quick work of your sleeves to swipe away the tears from your eyes before they fell onto your cheeks “It’s nothing—an allergy, I guess”

“Why are you sad?” Maki, always the assertive one and never to fall into diversions, adds as she walks towards your side, sitting by the edge of the engawa and clutching your arm.

“Don’t worry about it” you try to persuade their attention away from your eyes by gesturing to the garden before them and the ball they left behind to tend to you “Just keep playing”

“No” Maki shakes her head “...You’ve been like this for a while now… what’s wrong?”

Mai takes out a handkerchief from her pocket and carefully swipes the tear that managed to fall down your cheek away—you shoot her a quick glance with intentions of thanking her, but stop when you believe to have seen tears in her eyes as well.

A sight that makes you feel only more guilty for allowing your life to blemish them with your worries.

It makes you wonder how they were able to see the sadness in your face, even when you’ve been putting up nothing but a cheerful act for them… 

It’s then when you realize that they probably saw this kind of behavior from their mother, and it brings you to another understanding that they were put through so much and yet… here they were, attempting to console you .

Children were far more attentive than some would give credit for, and it makes you feel both guilty for not controlling your emotions a bit better, as well as admiring them for their selflessness.

If only you could be as courageous as them…

“I just… feel sad” is what you eventually relent with a slight tremble in voice as another wave of tears begins to pool in your eyes. The girls, upon noticing these gestures, rushed to take you into their small arms, with you instinctively encasing them with your own.

“W-why do you feel sad?” Mai sniffles against your body as you sigh. There were many things that had you in this state, but you weren’t to tell them—at least not the ones that they wouldn’t understand and possibly traumatize them.

“I… I guess I just miss my family” you say “It’s… been a while since I last saw them”

“I’m sorry” Maki murmurs as she snuggles closer to you, tears now in her face as well. “I wish… you could be with your sister and brother…”

“It’s—it’s fine” you say, patting her head gently. “I just… feel bad from time to time, but I didn’t mean to worry you… keep playing, ok?”

“I don’t want to play anymore if you’re sad” Mai adds “...what can we do to help you?”

“Just being yourself is enough for me” you give her a smile before patting her head as well.

“I know” Maki suddenly gasps, pulling herself up “We can be your family!”

“Don’t be silly, nee-chan…” Mai pouts as she nervously looks up to you, hoping that you wouldn’t find offense to her words. “We can’t replace her siblings!”

“Not replace them, but be an addition!” Maki bleated “We can be your sisters too! That way, when you’re with us, you’ll feel you’re with your family… but only if you want…”

You smile as another tear manages to squeeze through the corners of your eyes.

You truly were undeserving of their kindness.

“I always wanted little sisters” you eventually say, and that’s all they needed to hear as confirmation as a smile parts their lips. “I’m sure my siblings would be happy to have little sisters too, especially as cute as you two” you add before pinching Maki’s cheek and then Mai’s, making them blush in return.

“I still want to be the oldest sister” Maki says referring to Mai, but the youngest could only shrug—the formation didn’t care, as long as she was part of your family.

“You and Hinata would get along” you note —it’s something that you’d been thinking of for a while now, how Maki reminded you of your sister in more ways than one—with a soft chuckle before taking them into your arms.

“What about me?” Mai asks. “Would I get along with her too?”

“Definitely. I have no doubt both my brother and sister would love to be with you” you add, wanting to avoid planting the seed of doubt on either. But if you had to say it… Mai had a special place in your heart. 

You hug them tighter against you.

“... Thank you, thank you for everything”

It hurts you that they were sentenced to a life they had no say over things they couldn’t control, and yet, no matter what the family attempted to do to demolish their character, they continued to persevere as cheerful as ever… even allowing themselves to share a little of their hope with you.

Truly, it was a miracle the wretched hands of the Zen’in eluded some, and this statement eventually reminded you of another person, one that also knew all too well what it meant to grow in a family that didn’t know what love was, but was capable of learning what compassion and understanding was, to the point where he willingly accompanied you through the hardships of your aftermath because he saw himself in you too.

One you would’ve never thought would relate to, having abhorred him at the very beginning but now, can’t imagine a day without him—Naoaki.

Naoaki had already shown his intentions on establishing a relationship with you, even if the estate thought it to be unconventional due to your status and attachment to Naoya, but he still remained somewhat careful to not expose you to danger.

But now that the jig was up, he decided to throw their concerns out the window and be there for you as much as he could.

In fact, he thinks he should’ve never cared about his brother or family in the first place, for his actions were horrendous on their own to even justify his compliance, and should’ve never held himself back from doing what was right.

In that situation, he considered himself to be vastly different from you.

According to what he’d confided with you regarding this whole ordeal, he felt as guilty as you. However, not for the same reasons as you, but rather, because this was something he should’ve done.

As the older brother of the sons of the main branch, it’s in his obligations to stop his relatives from doing something they might later regret. 

He should've been the one to protect his younger brother from his father’s rampant anger and keep you out of it, but instead, allowed his fear towards Naobito and strained relationship with Naoya get the best of him… leaving you to take the fall as he just watches .

After he finally snapped back to reality due to the settling fright in your face, the first thought that crosses Naoaki’s mind is to get you out of there—no matter the method or what others would say; he pulled you away from the irked men and redirected you to where he thought you’d be safe, your bedroom, and staying by your side, consoling you why you cried your poor regretful heart out, until the emotional distress you were put through finally took a toll on your body and went to sleep.

It’s safe to say that his company was the one that you enjoyed the most, and not because you didn’t value what your ladies or the twins had done for you—you know you’ll never be able to repay them—but because he brought you a sense of security the other’s couldn’t.

Naoaki, compared to the women in the estate, still held some kind of respect from the family, and the staff alongside some of the relatives were still able to see him for what he was. Different from your ladies who had been stranded thanks to the resentment of the housekeeper, or even put in the dangerous grasp of your husband for an erratic reason, and the twins who their own father had called blemishes to his life.

That, and the blossoming closeness between the two, naturally pushed you to be with him any time he was available. 

Neither you nor Naoaki were ignorant to the rumors that began to spread about your evident relationship with him, following you everywhere you go.

How everyone believes that something far more intimate is happening between the two, that he occasionally shares a bed with you, or the craziest of them all, that you were already pregnant with his child.

To that, all you can think about their believes is how stupid they were.

You’re too busy worrying about your own survival to think about anything else—did they really think you had the time, the interest, or the energy to do… that ? 

And even if you wanted—or previously speculated about it—ever since it became aware that Naoya had been essentially suspended from his sorcery activities as punishment for a definite time, the rest of his brothers had been forced to pick up where he left to make up for his absence. As if they weren’t doing that already with missions the heir thought too insignificant for his attention…

Serves to show how devalued you were in the eyes of the Zen’in. You, as a woman, either were a constant of emotional nonsense or a nefarious seductress with only gold in your mind. 

Naoaki, if anything (aside from security), often gave you anxiety due to his constant absence; your paranoia making you believe that the day he left the estate would be the one his relatives finally decided to act, forcing you to latch on to him as soon as he returned. Like a lost child, you only found comfort in his presence.

And he seemed to be on the same page as you, finding their assumptions to be out of place. Having grown in this environment for all his life, he’d long stopped caring about putting an end to their rambles, opting to instead, save his energy and gladly accept the role you’d given him. 

Never denying you when you approached him, regardless of what he was doing or where he was. Keeping up with you, checking if you’d eaten, if you’d rested—in fact, you were the first thing that his eyes scanned for as soon as he returned to the estate, filling him with relief when he found you, or anguish when he didn't, just as this occasion.

The first thing he does after formalizing his return and relaying whatever information he had regarding his missions, is seek your presence by going straight to your room, accompanied by the gift he made it customary to bring you whenever he’s out, as well as the overwhelming anticipation of finding you there.

Realizing that your ladies were nowhere to be seen in the way here, he stops at your door.

This usually implies you were somewhere else in the estate, or had decided to retreat for the day. 

He lifts his hand and softly knocks at the entrance, waiting for a response to come soon after—nothing.

Naoaki tries again, but yet again, there is no one answering on the other side. He now decides to intrude for a moment, just with the intention of confirming your absence before taking on other prospects.

“Excuse me” he whispers as he slides the door open, peeking inside when the gap is big enough to do so.

And there, the sight that receives him brings air back into his lungs.

You were there, laying on your side, on top of the futon, seemingly asleep.

Naoaki smiles at the comforting view before discreetly stepping inside, intending nothing more than to leave the small bag he brought back home at your side for you to see when you wake up and go back to his room, but when his steps were just a few feet away, you suddenly release groan, squeezing your eyes as you shuffled on the bed, before eventually opening them.

Your vision takes a few seconds to adjust from the blurriness, rubbing your eyes in hopes of quickening the process and identifying the mysterious figure before you—a process that doesn’t need to be culminated when Naoaki decides to let you know on his own.

"Hey, Y/N" he greets as he places down the paper bag on your side. “Had a good rest?”

"Oh, you’re back already… Welcome back, Naoaki…” you respond with yawn “I'm—I’m sorry I couldn't receive you at the door" you add as you push yourself up to sit at the futon before rubbing your left eye once more,  trying to chase away the drowsiness on your face—it’s sight that makes him chuckle, and yet… worry, for when was the last time you managed to get a decent rest?

"Nonsense, don't worry about that" he reassures you while sitting down by your side. “If anything, I should be apologizing for waking you up”

“I’m glad you did, though” you murmur, exhaling.  “...I missed you”

“I missed you too” he said, carefully intertwining his fingers with the stray lock of hair on your left side and threading it behind your ear “How was today?”

"...fine" you admit less than enthusiastically, mirroring his actions with the hair on your right side before he could. "Cold… I came to lay for a bit because of it"

Naoaki presses his lips together, finding your words eerily worrisome "It's one of those days, huh?"

You nod.

“I don’t presume you were allowed to, though?” he continues on.

“No… Junko-san forced me to get out of the room and work—threatened me if I didn’t”

“She’s such a people person, isn’t she?” Naoaki attempts to make light of the situation, get a laugh out of you so as to shake off the sorrow that seems to haunt you, but your silence and serious countenance reflects that you’re all too drained to even entertain him, doubling down on his already growing concerns for you.

If only he could stay behind at the estate as much as he wants, he assumes he’d be able to offer you some kind of distraction from your sorrow, solely focus on making you happy, or at least try to…

Luckily, he’s always been one to make the best of his situations and had thought of this situation beforehand, preparing himself accordingly. 

"Well, I know it's not a cure-all remedy, but I’m confident it can brighten your day" 

He then gestures at the bag beside you and it’s at that moment that you finally notice it, reaching over to grab it and peek into its contents—eyes widening upon watching the familiar box inside it.

"Naoaki… I—this is too much" you urgently say as you look back at him, hesitant whether to put the bag back on the floor or hand it over to him to not appear rude or grateful "You've… you’ve already given me too many things…"

"I recall you saying that it was never enough…" he chuckles and you frown.

"That’s when I didn’t need to hide them" You murmur "Mariya-san already found out you’ve been giving me mochi"

And to explain why you had so many empty boxes piled up inside your closet was certainly… interesting to witness. 

Your prime lady-in-waiting already had her suspicions of something happening behind the scenes in the gastronomic department due to your sudden "fullness" mid-way finishing your dinner, the rejection of snacks, and the unsuspecting paper wrapper in your bedroom that belonged to nothing neither she or the rest of your staff could recall inside the estate… 

Her assumptions would eventually become reality on the day you forgot to remove the culprits from your closet before your ladies started to get you ready one unsuspecting morning, and when that happened, you had nothing to say.

You were confident enough that she would never find out, that's why you didn’t even prepare an excuse for it, but now that it was revealed, you were forced to admit that Naoaki had been the one giving you these things, which you obviously obliged to more than one time.

Mariya has never been fond of Naoaki, and probably never will, more so when she realized he was foiling her attempts in keeping you out of trouble by becoming close to you, or in this situation, disrespecting your diet, however, she could still admit that she saw some positive out of this situation: he was at least trying to cheer you up with things you liked.

It’s what led her to keep silent about the whole ordeal once it was out.

If anything, she was also glad it had been her who found out of this small indiscretion and not Junko, because she could only imagine what she would do if she ever found out you were going against her words… although your prime lady-in-waiting assumed that because Naoaki had been the responsible behind it she might not say anything at all.

"Oh, she did?" Naoaki blinks and you nod "and… what happened after that?"

"Nothing, because you've given me so many I've been forced to share them" you reveal and he laughs

«Well, isn’t that interesting?» he thinks.

"I guess what I mean to say is that I don't need that much mochi" you say, thinking back on the 5 boxes you saw inside the bag.

"Ok" Naoaki smiles "no more mochi for you then"

"Doesn't mean I want something else as a replacement" you counter and he chuckles once more.

"Gee, tough crowd?" He attempts to make fun of the situation once more, and it seems to have worked this time for you to release a silent scoff… before quieting down, a muted expression taking hold of your face which he’s too quick to notice "... Are you ok?"

"It’s just that… You've done so much for me… and I— I feel undeserving of it… I can’t even repay you for all the money you spent on me!"

"You're not undeserving" he reassuringly responds "It's really nothing for me to do this for you, in fact, I enjoy it. I like thinking about you whenever I’m out"

But you pay no mind to his sweet words as you continue to anxiously warn him.

"I'm… placing you too much into danger. You shouldn't be doing this in the first place" you shake your head, lip trembling as you look away "you…"

"Did something happen while I was gone?” Is what Naoaki instinctively assumes, and why wouldn't he? He’s been a victim of the same system for too long, and you were acting strange, more so than the past few days… a thought that sends shivers through his pine. “Did… Naoya do something?"

"No! He hasn't!” you gasp, shaking your head, frightened at the mere thought of him. “but I don't want to give him a reason… and I don't want to see—"

"Hey, hey… it's ok" he scurries to your side before you could say anything else to softly cup your face and make you focus on him, distracting you from the dark clouds that have taken hold of your mind and bring your eyes to his. "... You don't have to think about that, Y/N. You don’t have to think about anything that aren’t those mochis, ok?”

You remain quiet, doing your hardest to glance away from his focused eyes on you as a sign of defiance (or was it insecurity?), but his heavy presence eventually makes you relent to his way, now looking into the golden eyes you always admired.

“How about we eat the ones I got today? They’re from a different store and I got different flavors too”

Your continuous silence prompts Naoaki to playfully move your head with his hands in a nodding motion to make it seem as if you were agreeing to his suggestion. An action he probably would’ve continued to do so, that is, until you halted him with a frown.

“I don’t want to” you sternly reiterate and he stops, moving onto another activity he thinks you’ll enjoy.

"Hmm… how about we go to the stables?”

“No”

“I would say I’d take you to see me train but I’m too tired” you remain silent. “What about Mai and Maki? Wanna be with them?”

“... I just want to stay here” you grumble.

“Do you want to write another letter to your sister, perhaps?" He asks, and by your resuming silence, the tightening of your lips and the softening in your eyes, he rightfully assumes that you do not and you'd rather avoid the topic altogether, at least for the moment.

"I just want to stay here" you repeat and he eventually concedes with a sigh.

"Then we’ll stay here" he says as he removes his hands from your cheeks. Even with your saddened state, he can’t help but find you adorable, which is what leads him to carefully pinch your nose, to which you could only respond with a pout. "Is there something you want to do here?”

“... sleep” you murmur almost immediately after and he smiles.

“I can arrange that—Do you want me to get more blankets? Even if here’s relatively warmer than outside, I still don’t want you getting sick”

But contrary to popular belief… maybe because you just haven’t been feeling yourself, you decide against his proposal.

"No, but... Can you stay here?" Is what you counter him with instead, finally looking up to him. 

He doesn’t seem to get it at first, confusedly believing he already told you he was going to… that is until after ruminating on your words, alongside the pleading tone behind them, as well as your open admittance of missing him, that he finally understands what you want.

It’s almost as if his absence, if only for the slightest, was enough to invoke the worst into happening. And that’s something, that even as exaggerated as it seems, Naoaki doesn’t want it to occur either.

So, he obliges without a second thought.

"I can" he says and with that, you finally lay your back into the futon, this time however, you go underneath the covers, pulling them all the way up, resting on your collarbone.

Naoaki almost replicates your actions, that is, until he stops himself with the pretense that this might be overstepping boundaries—yes, he’s no stranger to being close to you, but because this is a request you made in a vulnerable state, he doesn’t want to do something that might hurt you in the end.

So instead, he takes a different route and ends up keeping distance between the two by joining you, but above the covers.

And that's how he intends to stay, looking up to the ceiling while he hears your breathing quieting down into a peaceful slumber, keeping you the company and protection you need, that is, until he hears you shuffle and move underneath the covers in a way that has him understanding you were trying to move close to him.

Upon sensing your nearness, he eventually glances down to you, seeing that you were now laying on your side, eyes wide open, staring back at him.

Naoaki finds something likened to hesitation on your features, almost as if you were afraid of asking him what you want, but something inside you finally motivates you to continue, licking your lips before asking:

“...Can you hold me?”

With the way you softly squeak your plea makes him understand there was nothing to overstep: you wanted company, which he was wrongfully denying you so for a silly confusion, because you were tired of feeling alone, desolate.

And who is he to deny you such comfort? Could he really say that he cherishes you, by acting in such a way?

It doesn’t matter what others think. It’s only you he cares about.

"Of course" is all that he says as he scoots over to your side, attempting to wrap his arms around you, but you stop him by shaking your head.

"You can get under the covers… I… don’t mind" You reassure him with what you guessed to be stopping him and he blinks. “I mean—isn’t it more comfortable that way?”

"I guess, I just… didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable" he nervously explains, a soft pink tone flustering your cheeks soon after.

"You can only make me feel safe" you corrected. “... Naoaki ” 

And with that, Naoaki understands there was nothing to worry about.

He finally moves underneath the covers, carefully inching closer to you as you take this moment to adjust yourself into a more comfortable position, turning his back to him so he can softly wrap his arms around you and embrace you from behind.

A position that not only makes you feel safe, warm, but adored.

"You're cold" is what he first notes when he goes to grab your hand, intending to intertwine your small fingers (which he can’t help but coo at how contrasting they were against his) with his.

"I’m always like that during the night, especially throughout the winter" you say, before a smile makes way to your face. “... Or maybe you're just too warm"

"Maybe" he chuckles, finding your words to be work of your usual playfulness, an action that makes him happy for it means that you’re starting to feel comfortable with him again. "Your feet are cold too… are you sure you don't want another blanket?"

"No" you murmur, blinking slowly as drowsiness starts to take a hold of your body yet again "... I'm fine"

"Guess I'll have to keep you warm, then" he chuckles and you hum, finding… enjoyment behind that thought.

“Perhaps…” you say as you softly squeeze his hand.

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about? It feels like everyday is the same” you begin. “Like I tell you the same thing… everyday”

“You can begin like that” he says “Whatever you want to tell me, I’m here to listen”

“... does this… make you feel uncomfortable?” you suddenly ask.

“No” he responds honestly, placing his nose against the top of your head “I always liked being close to you”

“But, like… this?”

“I won’t say that I didn’t think about it once or twice” He admits “But at the end of the day, more than wanting something a bit more… personal, I want to be your friend”

You press your lips together, unsure what to respond.

“It’s difficult, isn’t it?” Naoaki asks, taking the words out of your mouth. “If not confusing”

“Couldn’t have said it any better” you admit. “I think…”

“Well, whatever happens down the road, I just want you to know that I’ll always be here for you” he says, kissing the top of your head, before moving onto a different topic. “... do you want to know about the things I had to do today?”

Naoaki gives you enough time to respond, but after your silence went on more than he thought appropriate, he tries again.

“Y/N?”

Nothing comes from you, nothing that’s not a slight snore and deep breathing that might just signify you had fallen asleep.

He stares at you for a moment, attempting to double check you had indeed fallen asleep, instead of silently crying as he’d seen you do in the past.

However, the intently he keeps observing you, the more evidence seems to point towards you falling deep into slumber—a comforting thought that only makes him smile.

Naoaki kisses the top of your head once more, before wishing you “good night” as he closes his eyes, resting alongside you.

Naoaki eventually wakes up not much later, when the sun is down and the only noise that’s detectable is the chirping of the crickets and your calm breathing.

He tried softly murmuring your name just to be sure, one, two times, but you responded to neither, that’s when he knew you were still asleep.

As stated before, it’s a fact that brings him great satisfaction for he can’t recall the last time you or your staff told him you had a well deserved rest.

Taking that into consideration, he concludes his job here to be done and decides that the following course of action is to  retreat to his room and continue on where he’d left off.

Maybe he’d take a shower first before getting something to eat, or skipping these options all together and going straight to bed, he’s going to start his new routine anew tomorrow morning and he needs all the rest he can get.

Well, he guesses he can make up his mind on the way back to his room, for now, Naoaki starts by peeling himself away from your figure, carefully moving his arm away from underneath your head so as to not wake you up, but dexterously enough to shave off the numbness from it for having been in the same position for a while now.

He freezes for a second upon hearing you seemingly groan for his movements, anticipating that you’d open your eyes soon after to wonder what was going on, however after a few moments pass and you have yet to do anything that’s not groaning once more and adjusting your position, he sighs and continues to move away from you, pushing himself up from the futon, fixing his clothes, and heading out the door. 

Naoaki doesn’t expect much ambulators to be in this area at the dark hours of the day, so it brings him the belief that he’ll be able to go back his room without much distractions—ever since the incident with Naobito happened, staff had grown a bit more inquisitive regarding his persona and his relationship with you.

He understands why, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys being intercepted about it every second of the day, almost as if he were obliged to give press conferences just to quiet them down.

The silence provided by the dead of night, alongside the whooshing of the wind against the leaves and the sloshing of the nearby garden pond is nothing but comforting to him, allowing him to isolate into his thoughts, that is, until he accidentally bumps into Ranta just around the corner.

Even with the succession of the collision, neither say much, not even an apology, as they proceed to quickly regain their composure and move on with their path. With Ranta wanting nothing more than to avoid him as much as possible, and Naoaki simply indifferent to what his brother’s little helper is out to do.

Their disregard for one another remains so until Ranta’s curiosity eventually gets the best of him and forces him to look back at Naoaki, eyes trailing his footsteps as he wonders when did he come back and what was he doing in this area in such a time…

Realization hits him like a bucketful of ice, eyes widening when they land on your door, finally connecting the dots.

Ranta attempts to catch up to Naoaki as quickly as possible, and before Naoya finds out that he was in his wife’s room—he doesn’t know what it is, but something in his mind urges him to confront him with the thoughts that he’s been holding back just because he still wants to remain somewhat amicable with the rest of the masters of the house.

But this is completely different, it's barbaric!

Not only is this immoral, but it’s highly disrespectful towards Naoya. No matter their kind of relationship, he should at least respect him while he’s inside the estate , or at least not seem desperate enough by going straight to you as soon as he returns home, as well as demanding to stop this charade once and for all before his brother sees it and worsens the situation all together.

But before he could even do as much, a shadow through the night appeared at the corner of his eye, making him come to a full stop and verify who it was to act accordingly—an action that would take him into immeasurable regret once identified.

It was Naoya, standing on the other side of the garden, mid way back to his own room, staring at their general direction, at his estranged brother .

Ranta’s breath hitches at his throat as he scurries to stop him from assuming the worst—no, anything , and spiraling into another pit of despair, but it would all be for naught when begins to observe Naoya’s eyes trailing the same pattern as him, following Naoaki’s trail back to the door he recognized as your room. 

From there, it doesn’t take much longer before his mind begins to make work of the evidence before him, coming to the same sorrowful conclusion as his best friend.

If he was dubious regarding the rumors of the kind of relationship you had with him, what he saw before him completely cemented that idea.

Naoya Zen’in, heir of the Zen’in clan: feared by many, loved by none.

[iscoliya]

The Thunderbird’s Call - Chapter 1

A longer chapter this time - hope you enjoy! :)

“With all due respect, Your Highness, I believe I speak for everyone present when I say that your constant refusal of any and all betrothal propositions for one reason or another is making our situation a little difficult.” At the calculating glint in the other’s eyes, a sudden sense of dread takes hold of him; a feeling that he isn’t going to like what is about to come next. As it turns out, he is right. “Though my guess is that we can all imagine what the cause for your actions may be.”

“Councillor!” Rei tries to interject, but her attempt to calm the waters goes unheard by both parties.

“I am honestly curious, what is it that keeps the crown prince going back to a common omega with nothing to his name but his body? Or is it just that?”

«Prologue

Chapter 2»

 read on AO3

Kazuya

Despite Eijun’s best efforts, Kazuya figures he is late again since everyone else seems to be present already when he arrives at the council chambers. As the members rise at his entrance, he sweeps a glance through the room and takes in the three missing faces, none of them surprising to him; after all, both General Kataoka Tesshin and Takigawa Chris Yuu, who usually serves as bookkeeper and scribe at these sessions, are currently away on a reconnaissance mission and his father – well. His father rarely attends meetings these days, almost permanently holed up in his study or discussing state matters in private and trusting his son and the council members to relay important information if need be. It even seems startling whenever he chooses to attend meals with others instead of eating by himself, Kazuya muses as he settles in his seat right next to the table’s head side.

“So good of you to join us, Your Highness,” councilman Ochiai Hiromitsu, drawls from a spot to his left, though he remains ignored for the time being. Yup, definitely late.

Apart from the king, himself and the aforementioned, the capital’s inner council usually comprises two more members; Oota Kazuyoshi, an older alpha who has already been in service before Kazuya was even born, and Takashima Rei, a beta with exceptional analytical skills and a tactical mind almost on par with his own. On this day they have two other attendees in the form of Yuuki Tetsuya, a young alpha who has risen through the ranks quickly due to his military prowess, and Watanabe Hisashi, a beta close to Kazuya’s own age who aspires to become an intelligence gatherer for the royal family in the future. With the General and Chris absent, the two of them should take over their duties as the military mouthpiece and scribe respectively to ensure both a proper communication between all areas of the court and a record of the concerns mentioned.

In the brief silence that emerged after his entrance and Ochiai’s subsequent comment, his gaze finally seeks that of Rei, as he trusts her to present the issues in need of addressing and to mediate the discussions that are quite probable to arise; especially if one certain topic is brought up again…

“Thank you all for attending this early meeting,” Rei begins and as she starts to drone on about taxes and dues, Kazuya takes this as his cue to drift off slightly. Of course, he knows he should be paying close attention to the dealings of what will probably be his kingdom in the near future, but with sleep just around the corner and a certain omega’s scent still lingering in his nostrils, he can’t help but think about the latter and the way he fit in his arms so perfectly. How he smells so much more powerful without the aid of the suppressants Kazuya knows tend to make him tired and woozy after a while. The way his body responded so beautifully to his touch after the initial tension, so relaxed and pliable, both firm and soft in all the right places. How his eyes are an unadulterated mirror of his emotions, sparkling from excitement, gleaming with mischief, blazing with anger and at times downright smouldering. The way his unique purring resonated through his whole body, willing his own crooning to come forward, almost as if calling to his alpha to come forward and play. How he wanted to–

“What do you think, Your Highness?” Rei’s voice again, this time pulling him out of his very private thoughts and all of a sudden, all eyes are on him. However, Kazuya is not one to go down that easily.

“I agree that while a more detailed treaty with the Eastern forces can only be of great advantage to us, we should not let ourselves be crossed over that easily,” he begins, surveying the present members one after another. “After all, our economy is the more stable one while they are struggling, so let them bring their terms to us and see if their propositions are within reason.” A quick glance at Rei and the appreciative smile she sends his way tells him that his answer is to her satisfaction. Silently, he sends a little prayer of thanks to the gods for his ability to keep track of things even while distracted as well as the control he has over his scent and expression. However, he should probably invest himself a little more into the discussion.

“That being said, how are the new recruits coming along, Yuuki?” he asks, not least in order to remove a little attention from his person. Looking at the other, it still feels a little weird to be talking to him in such a formal setting when they have trained and played shougi together on a regular basis not too long ago.

“Very well, Your Highness,” the addressed alpha replies while instantly straightening up a little more. “Most of them have shown great promise over the duration of the last training periods. We expect them to be ready for service by next spring at the latest.” If he looks a little proud at the last statement, no one calls him out on it. It is a well-known fact how much he, as one of the youngest guard captains in the kingdom’s history, contributes to both the new and already seasoned warriors’ training.

“Good, good. A few retirements are in order for next year, so we can definitely use some new manpower,” Kazuya muses and a gaze out of the window tells him that they have already been at it for quite a while, since the sun has long risen up high in the sky. “Now, if that is all for today, we should–“

“Actually,” Rei disrupts his words of parting, “there is one more subject to discuss.” A slightly hesitant look in his direction tells him everything he needs to know about what is to come. “We have received a proposal from the Fujiwara family. They would like to offer the hand of their youngest daughter to Your Highness in courtship.”

Now that seems a little baffling to Kazuya, and a sideways glance in Yuuki’s direction, who has grown almost imperceptibly stiff at the last sentences, tells him that he isn’t the only one. The Fujiwara are one of Seidou’s most prominent merchant families, incredibly wealthy and many a family member holds an influential position within the capital; thus, it is to no surprise that they are also known being rather prideful in regards to their standing and achievements. The youngest daughter of the main branch being only slightly his senior, he has known Takako since a rather young age, as she spent quite some time at court with other young omegas from influential families for educational purposes. However, he also knows that during this time, she has grown rather close with a certain loud-mouthed guard, whose intentions to one day start courting her have turned into a bit of a not-quite secret amongst the palace staff. And the fact that even Yuuki, being as close to a best friend of Isashiki as it can get, doesn’t appear to have any prior knowledge to the fact that the Fujiwara seem to have other plans for their daughter, speaks for itself in regards to the question of whether this proposal is a consensual one. Despite the possibly delicate nature of the matter, Kazuya doesn’t have to think twice about his answer.

“No.” If the issue weren’t as serious, he would have relished the throughout bewildered faces of the people around him. As it stands, he keeps his face calm and devoid of any emotion despite the storm brewing inside him.

“No?” Ochiai is the one to break the silence in his usual nonchalant fashion, although he, too, seems to be a little surprised by the decisiveness of his response.

“While I am aware that the Fujiwara family plays a crucial part in the goings of the capital and it would be an honour to incorporate one of their members into the royal household, I do not think that Takako-san and I would make a great match. Besides,” he adds when he sees Oota open his mouth in protest from the corner of his eye, “I am not going to accept a proposal that was made without a potential partner’s explicit consent, nor will I stand in the way of a relationship that has been in the making for quite some time.” His accompanying stern glance, however, doesn’t seem to be fully effective, as it doesn’t take long for words of objection to emerge.

“But Your Highness, please consider that we cannot be certain whether such a relationship actually exists,” Oota tries to reason, even though it seems a little half-hearted. “And as you yourself said, the Fujiwara would be a tremendous strategic asset to the crown, not to mention the dowry* brought into a potential marriage.”

“Also, technically a consent of the spouse-to-be is not essential if the parents agree to the match,” Ochiai muses, twirling his goatee thoughtfully.

“I am not going to force someone to mate with me, such out-dated practises have been abolished long ago for a reason.” Though it doesn’t show in his tone, Kazuya can feel tension rising in his body at the councilman’s objection. The nerve– “Apart from that, please keep in mind that the council has agreed in the past on a betrothal with a party from another kingdom being better suited for political purposes.”

“With all due respect, Your Highness, I believe I speak for everyone present when I say that your constant refusal of any and all betrothal propositions for one reason or another is making our situation a little difficult.” At the calculating glint in the other’s eyes, a sudden sense of dread takes hold of him; a feeling that he isn’t going to like what is about to come next. As it turns out, he is right. “Though my guess is that we can all imagine what the cause for your actions may be.”

“Councillor!” Rei tries to interject, but her attempt to calm the waters goes unheard by both parties.

“I am honestly curious, what is it that keeps the crown prince going back to a common omega with nothing to his name but his body? Or is it just that?”

“Silence!”

The whole room startles under the combined force of Kazuya’s voice and the way he slams his palms on the table as he stands. Usually, he might be ashamed about such an emotional outburst, but at this moment, as he feels himself trembling with rage, he can’t think about anything but the fact that someone has just dared to insult his mate. However, as quick as his alpha side has emerged, he forces it back down while realizing that he might just have given his adversary exactly what he has been hoping for. Subtly, he takes a calming breath before addressing the older again.

“You speak of respect, yet your words show anything but. This ‘common omega’ you refer to has been accepted as a member of the royal family in everything but name, therefore an insult against him is an insult against the crown.” Finally, after another few seconds, Ochiai averts his gaze under the hard stare he is targeted by. “I do not know about the grievances you seem to have against him, but I can assure you that there is nothing between us that would be of any relevance to this council. Regardless,” and at this, he returns his attention to everyone present, “I will not have anyone disrespect him, be it in my presence or otherwise.”

All of a sudden, he feels weary and tired, as if a large burden has been placed upon his head. Gone is the happiness he felt just this morning and he longs for that comforting presence at his side, but he knows that he has to bring this to an end first.

“Without meaning any slight, I hereby humbly reject the Fujiwara family’s proposal and that is final,” he states and before anyone else can interrupt, he straightens up to his full height, preparing to leave. “If there is nothing else for the time being, I would like to adjudge this meeting to be concluded.”

_____________

Youichi

‘Yikes,’ is the first thing that comes to his mind when he spots a rather dishevelled Eijun entering the training grounds and manages to detect a certain prince’s scent on him from what feels like miles away; judging by some of the other soldiers’ either intimidated or wary reactions, he isn’t the only one. Tamping down the urge to keep back from someone smelling so blatantly aggressive of another alpha, he makes a beeline for the unassuming omega and deals him a swift kick to the backside.

“Nice bedhead you got goin’ there, hyaha,” he cackles and can’t withhold a satisfied grin at the pained yelp his action is met with.

“Senpai, that hurt!” Eijun whines pitifully while trying to rub his aching body part as well as fix his messy hair at the same time; a quite comical picture, Youichi notices with malicious joy. “And it’s not my fault!”

“Hoo?” Of course the alpha can imagine who the actual culprit behind the other’s the tousled appearance is, at least judging by the persistent scent clinging to him, but he wouldn’t be true to his prankster nature if he didn’t keep the other in suspense for a little while. Taking him into a headlock and destroying the carefully re-crafted hairstyle, he walks them in the direction of the barracks, ignoring the accompanying protests. “Then I guess neither does the fact that you’ve got Miyuki’s name basically written all over your scent have anything to do with you, hm?”

While he struggles to keep himself from face planting right into the ground, a frustrated groan leaves the omega. “Stupid clingy tanuki bastard, wants to get me into trouble all the time…”

Grinding to a halt, Youichi eyes his companion incredulously; he can’t possibly be that daft, can he? That is, until he spots the light blush on the other’s cheeks, a total contrast to his cursing and disgruntled demeanour. As if burned, he releases the chokehold, rolling his eyes and releasing an annoyed tsk. Those two were just fucking unbelievable.

“Jeez, idiot,” he sighs, folding his hands behind his head, careful to keep his voice low so they wouldn’t be overheard. He is definitely not the right person for this kind of talk. “Y’know, the sooner you two admit you like each other, the sooner you can finally start courting.”

“C-courting?!”

Oh, there goes his attempt at subtlety.

“Not so loud, stupid! What are you, a retard?” he hisses and slaps his counterpart over the head as he notices a few heads turning towards them.

“But who says anything about courting?” Eijun mumbles sullenly and his pout might have been a little endearing if it weren’t for the sheer stupidity of it all. “You know we’re not like that, Kuramochi-senpai.” At the way the other averts his gaze just so, Youichi can feel something tugging at his heartstrings.

Although he would probably never admit it out loud, over the years he has developed something of a brotherly instinct towards the brunette loudmouth. Granted, at first, when he moved to the capital at fourteen in order to train to become a soldier, he was more than irritated by his antics and overall behaviour, constantly yapping and going on about becoming the best swordsman there is. Also, he didn’t quite know what to make of this young omega who tried so desperately to prove himself in a world dominated by alphas and betas; where he came from, a village in rural Chiba, people were still of the out-dated mind set that omegas were somewhat inferior compared to the other dynamics and should mainly busy themselves with housework and caring for their families. Youichi himself never paid much heed to such things, as in his eyes deeds spoke louder than words and everyone should have the right to do what they like to do. But even in the capital, where the old-fashioned opinion of alpha superiority and prejudices are slowly dying out, an omega in military training is something more than just an unusual sight, if not openly frowned upon. After all, omegas in general are supposed to be more meek and soft, thus allegedly missing the fierceness and resolve to thrive in such a competitive and aggressive environment. Therefore, sadly, it was a given that Eijun had to prove himself double the amount that others had to, on a daily basis at that. Even now, Youichi isn’t sure if he will be allowed to actually hold a position in the military despite undergoing the same training every recruit has to successfully complete.

He remembers vividly some of the abuse the other had to endure; not just because of his secondary gender but even more so due to his past or rather the lack of his memories thereof. He remembers how others made fun of him and his slender built, ridiculed his admittedly abysmal skills in archery, called him a no-name and a freak, a charity case or the prince’s pet. Never in front of the instructors, mind you, and least of all ever within any vicinity of Miyuki, who, as it turned out, might as well have gone on a rampage if he ever caught wind of someone badmouthing or mistreating the omega. But even with Eijun keeping silent on the matter and bearing everything people threw at him, something must have slipped through, because after a while, Miyuki took to scenting him every now and then; both a clear sign for others to back off and his own way of trying to protect him. And he wasn’t the only one to stand up for him.

He doesn’t know when exactly he started to feel like this, but Youichi can admit to himself that he respects the younger. He came to respect his drive and wilful nature, his fiercely loyal streak, his optimistic and open attitude and the way he drags everyone around him along and makes them want to be better than they have ever been. He respects his independence, as he was never the type to tattle or ask for help; on the contrary, he insists on dealing with things, no matter how difficult, by himself, without relying too much on others. He respects his kind-heartedness and impartiality. He even respects his skills in swordplay, lousy as they were in the beginning. And thus he, too, has become protective of the other; not that it has been necessary for quite some time now, not with him finding more and more friends and improving drastically over time. And if he shows his affection through wrestling and light insults, well… The parties involved surely know these gestures for what they are. And as such–

“Look, moron,” he begins as calmly as he can and ignores the consequent interjection of “How did I go from idiot to moron?!”. “Usually I’d say it’s none of my business and maybe it ain’t. But believe it or not, I want your stupid ass to be happy and if it takes that bastard for that, then go for it.”

“But I told you–“

“Yeah, yeah, you’re not like that, he doesn’t like you like that or whatever. That’s why you arrived here looking and smelling as if you’d just rolled right outta bed with him.”

If Eijun has been blushing before, it is nothing compared to the completely red, flustered mess these words turn him into right at that moment. Youichi might actually pity him, the display not that far off from some kind of fish gasping for water, but he is trying to make a point here, dammit.

“I can see it, everyone can see it, except for you. Or maybe you can but are so deep in denial that–“

“I get it.”

Okay, that is not the reaction Youichi has been expecting; more yelling, for sure, and maybe some more stuttering but not something akin to acceptance and resignation in that small voice. He decides he doesn’t like it.

“I get it, I really do, even if I’m kinda stupid sometimes,” the brunette continues with a rueful grin. “I know he cares for me, some way or another. But I– We can’t–“ For once, he seems to be at a loss for words and where the alpha might have celebrated the occasion any other day, he starts to feel slightly ill. Because he knows what has the usually airheaded and even a little careless omega so down, and his heart goes out to his friends; plural since despite how much he likes to rant about Miyuki’s personality being the worst there is, over the years he has also turned into one of his best friends. Therefore, them being so obviously smitten with each other but feeling unable to act on their wishes makes him want to go fuck something up.

Suddenly, the all too familiar subtle scent of newly cut grass and jasmine invades his senses, milliseconds before a precise chop is delivered on Eijun’s head.

“Don’t think too hard or you’ll hurt yourself,” comes the deceptively calm voice that manages to send shivers down his spine every time he hears it.

“Onii-san, not you too!”

The beta in question turns his supposedly amicable smile from Eijun to him and he feels his own grin slip from his face. Somehow, he has a bad feeling about this.

“Ah, Ryou-san. We were just…” Jeez, why is it that he, the usually ever so eloquent one, doesn’t know what to say when face to face with this one person. There he goes, preaching about sorting feelings out to others; maybe he should take his own advice someday.

“Late for training?” Ryousuke suggests slyly and his words startle Eijun out of his stupor.

“Aahhh, Captain is going to kill me!” And with that, he is off like an arrow and leaves Youichi in a rather uncomfortable situation.

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.”

“You’re not gonna let me live it down, are you?”

“Now where would the fun in that be?”

_____________

Rei

She catches up to Kazuya in a hallway that leads towards the palace gardens.

“Your Highness!”

Although she notices the stiffness in his shoulders, he wears a smile on his lips as soon as he turns around. Of course, she has no doubts as to its falseness.

“Rei-chan.” His grin takes a slightly sardonic turn. “Or is it Councillor Takashima right now?”

Her features soften imperceptibly in the face of the insecurity she knows he tends to hide behind sarcastic displays and a sharp tongue.

“Walk with me,” she offers instead of an answer and falls into step with him in the direction he was originally headed. No other words are issued until they reach their destination, both of them mindful of the possibility of even the walls having ears. Only then does the beta raise her voice again.

“What you did was stupid.”

A laugh is the answer to her admonishment, but it is not an altogether humorous or happy one; this one is an ugly sound, full of derision and self-deprecation.

“Never one to mince your words, Rei-chan, are you,” Kazuya remarks before his expression turns serious once more.

“I apologize for reacting the way I did.” Unwillingly, his hands ball into fists. “But he crossed a line and I would never stand for that, not when–” She keeps quiet as he breaks off, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “His comment was aimed at my weakest spot and I should have anticipated it. I just can’t think all that straight when it comes to someone wanting to run him down.”

“Vicious as his words were, there was at least some truth to them.” She holds up a hand before he can oppose her statement. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but the council has been incredibly patient until now; you need to find a mate eventually, sooner rather than later.”

Even as she speaks, she can see his broad shoulders sagging, his features falling and all of a sudden, again standing before her is the little boy of five years who has just lost his mother to a terrible illness. Despite being only barely out of her teens herself at the time, she can recall the way the young prince seemed to withdraw from everyone around him in the aftermath of the loss. And how, almost a year later, he regained his smile and strength, all thanks to a boy who would turn the palace life upside down in due time. Back then, no one could have imagined that the same boy would one day turn into the cause for both the prince’s greatest happiness and his biggest regret.

“I am aware of my duties as heir to the throne, really I am,” Kazuya sighs, wringing a hand through his hair. Clearly, in this moment he has lost the will to keep everything bottled up inside him for the time being. “But how do I do it? Even knowing it’s for the good of my people, how can I agree to mating with someone I barely know, if at all, while everything in me bridles at the thought alone?”

She longs to tell him to follow his heart, she really does. But the sense of duty instilled in her knows that if not the people of their kingdom, the other realms’ leaders would never accept a future monarch mating with what they would deign a base-born commoner. And while her heart bleeds for the boy turned man she has developed almost motherly feelings for, she can’t in all conscience put Seidou’s safety at risk like this.

Their private moment is interrupted when the palace doors are thrown open and a guard rushes through, clearly in search of at least one of them if the way he hurries towards them is any indication.

“Your Highness! Councillor Takashima!”

Obviously Kazuya, too, has noticed the man’s laboured breathing and pale complexion, as he turns deadly serious within moments.

“What is it, Sakai?”

The guard, by now standing before them, seems a bit lost for words and it doesn’t bring her any kind of reassurance as to what he is about to tell them.

“The General, he– The party was ambushed–“

Cold apprehension grips her at his words and she isn’t sure if she wants to hear the rest of it. Taking another deep breath, the soldier steels himself for relaying his message.

“General Kataoka is dead.”

_____________

* Dowry is an ancient custom and means the transfer of parental property, gifts or money at the marriage of a daughter. In other words, a dowry is a type of conjugal fund brought into the marriage by the wife. It is most common in cultures that are strongly patrilineal, for example in different historic periods in Europe, South Asia and Africa. In Japan, it was most commonly practised during the Edo period.

[seattlish]

The Seattlish Guide to Your Ballot, August Primary 2017 Edition

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BABES? Well, not really. But we did want to take some time to help out with yet another massively massive ballot.

**real-time footage of Seattlish creating this document**

With conservatively a zillion candidates in a couple of these races, we knew there was no way all three of us could come to a consensus. Instead, we’ve decided to show you how we’re voting, what we think, and what we think you should know. So for each race (Seattle only! We’re humans!), we’re going to tell you a little bit about who we like and why, as well as who we don’t like.

Each of us has been involved with these races in some way or another and has a lot of information to share—which means you may not agree! And that’s fine! To be honest, that’s your right and honestly we don’t care so please don’t bother chiming in to tell us why we’re wrong because it will change exactly nothing. If you want to make your own guide, go for it! Tumblr is free!

So anyway, here’s what we think about each of these races. Below you’ll find a scorecard (which show who we strongly like and who we strongly dislike) and some notes that we left on our Official Google Document™:

Mayor:

Hasegawa: 

“I struggle with Bob’s car-centric approach to city-building and believe we need a mayor with an economic AND planning vision that prioritizes innovation.”

“I think his critiques of transit planning and their impacts on communities of color are valid but his tactics are shitty (cosigning with transit-killing republican bills, etc). Also, vapelord.”

“I agree on the validity if his critiques. If ST built light rail through my community knowing FULL WELL based on their own projections that it would result in dozens of people I’d be furious too.”

“Bob is an extremely good long-time civic leader with lots of reasons to respect him and I’m actually just really pissed he isn’t running against Bruce Harrell because I would love to have Bob on the Council. I have not yet been convinced that he would necessarily be right for Mayor, though.”

Moon:

“Cary Moon as mayor would set Seattle apart on an international level as a City dedicated to smart, equity-driven policies that charge a bold vision for our serious urban and economic issues. She inspires the heck out of me.”

“TBH Moon is my dream pick for mayor and I think she has the smartest, most detailed policy plans and would have the most impactful first 100 days out of any of the candidates.”

“I really like her ideas, but one hesitation I have with Moon is that I’m not 100% sure of her ability to work with existing stakeholders on Day 1. She’s released a lot of statements that are vague and not particularly inspiring (to me) and that sound very unilateral. We already know how that kind of leadership works (it doesn’t).”

Durkan:

“Look, we have a lot of amazing people in this race and none of them are Jenny Durkan so just not Jenny Durkan is really what I think.”

“I will never forgive her for the way she targeted occupy protesters in 2012.”

Jessyn Farrell:

“Jessyn is smart, savvy, and affable. She’d make a great mayor.”

“My only concern with Jessyn is she tends to compromise too much.”

“^^^I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THAT.”

Mike McGinn:

“Mike is fine.”

“I think Mike has spent a ton of time in the last four years listening and learning from people. His tax plan is not only smart, it’s also extremely actionable. I love an income tax as much as the next gal but I also know the single most pressing issue we have is out lack of revenue and all the new ideas in the world won’t mean a damn thing without more money.”

“We like Mike!”

Nikkita Oliver:

“I really wish she was better on density, but I also think that many of her issues that rub folks the wrong way—neighborhood councils, SFZ—come from an intention of rebuilding from the bottom-up instead of the top-down. (Although it hasn’t hurt her in terms of garnering NIMBY support.) Regardless I like her a lot and I think she listens well and listens honestly. I’ll absolutely give her a checkmark. I also think she’s very crucial to holding other electeds accountable on equitable HALA implementation, police reform, etc. She’s also cutting through a ton of political cynicism and making people give a fuck, which I will always support.”

“First and foremost, I give her huge applause for challenging Ed back when that wasn’t the popular thing to do. That takes courage. I’m impressed with her ability to get folks behind her; her supporters are passionate in a way that is really exciting. Unfortunately, the Mayor’s job is kind of a paper-pusher and I don’t know that that is where that passionate is best utilized. I’ve also seen a lot of her messaging as very much targeted toward convincing people that her platform is right, rather than making her platform appealing and relevant to a large number of people. I would actually disagree that she listens—I don’t see a lot of shift in her messaging, and instead, see a lot of defensiveness when it’s challenged. And like, again, we know how that goes.”

Seattle City Council Position 8:

Strong: 

“I’ve seen her speak now several times and she is really a lot more centrist than she’d like you to think. Anti-density, anti-homeless, “pro-business.” She also doesn’t seem super-firm on a lot of the policies her opponents have proposed; she mentioned in one forum that “a head tax would absolutely kill small business,” though the only head tax I’ve heard proposed would be applied to companies over 500. She strikes me as very much of the same that we’ve had on Council for a bazillion years and I’m not into it.”

Goueli:

“Hisam brings a unique perspective and experience informing policy proposals around public health, equity, and community firmly grounded in empathy and compassion. I want to see SO MUCH MORE of him in the future. Also he is very handsome.”

Grant:

“TBH I don’t see what JG is bringing to the table that we don’t already have.” 

“And also is discriminatory in the workplace!”

“Yeah we don’t have to settle for a false ally—JG’s views are mainstream enough in this race that we ESPECIALLY don’t have to settle for a false ally.”

Pantoja:

“This dude is a dangerous and sanctimonious asshole.”

Nelson:

“It is my strongly held opinion that Sara Nelson is temperamentally unfit for office.”

“I haven’t heard any original ideas from Sara. The Seattle Times’s “balanced” is anyone else’s “will do exactly what the Chamber tells her to do.” In addition to just fundamentally disagreeing with most of her positions, I think she’s incredibly uncreative.”

Secrest

“I’ve seen Secrest speak in Chambers many times and she is extremely passionate and smart. I’ve always liked her energy, and her supporters have been pretty great when I’ve run into them at LD things, etc. Unfortunately, I don’t think she’s running a campaign that can keep up with this race.”

Mosqueda

“Teresa is amazing for this role and I want her for it. She has actionable ideas and her background in labor and public health would be a refreshing change on the Council. She also is surrounding herself with some of my favorite people, so I trust that the right folks have her ear.”

“Teresa is going to make an incredible City Council member and I think that all of us will be made better by her leadership on affordability, wealth, and equity. Also FFS can we PLEASE get a renter on the Council?”

Seattle City Council Position 9:

González: Just swear her in already. 

City Attorney:

Holmes: 

“He’s fine, although I hope he has some regrets about the tunnel. He was cool during marijuana reform (opting not to prosecute pending misdemeanors, etc).”

“I wanna see more from our Community Courts, Mental Health Courts,a nd LEAD programs though and expect PH to be pushing HARDER for funding and prioritization of those programs. I also want Pete to come clean and finally admit that he and Rick Steves are the same person.”

“His Facebook photo was of him and a beagle making the same face for a long time so that is kiiiiiiiind of enough to get my vote. JK also he is a p good City Attorney.”

Lindsay:

“Fuck this guy. Scott Lindsay is callous af.”

“Fuck him all the way.”

“SKIN SUIT.”

Port of Seattle Position 1:

Querido-Rico:

“Bea really impressed me when I met with her. A lot of cool ideas, including some really innovative ones about how the Port could be instrumental when the ~Big One~ hits.”

Creighton:

“A fucking dirtbag. On the dole in a big way, rich dad, no work ethic. Ew.”

“Also an alleged stalker.”

Calkins:

“Love this dude.”

“He might come off as mild-mannered but he’s feisty and informed. Also, so yoked.”

Port of Seattle Position 3:

Abdi:

“Dude is amazing and would represent a huge shift on the port.”

“Totally agree. We need Ahmed’s voice and representation.”

“Have met him multiple times IRL and he is great. Can’t wait to vote for him.”

Port of Seattle Position 4:

Persak: “I remember when Persak ran for City Council! Longshoremen do not fuck around. I liked him then and I like him now.”

“I like either of these two; Persak is a former longshoreman and a pretty good candidate. Preeti is also awesome.”

“I’d be fine with John again.”

Steinbrueck:

“Oh my god, Pete, just retire already!”

“Remember when Steinbrueck wore that magician’s outfit for candidate survivor”

“There is a part of me that will always be seduced by the Steinbrueck charm and general wonkiness but I’m still going to vote for Preeti.”

Shridhar:

“Preeti is smart, experienced, and has a dope quity lens for Port issues. She’s done her research and is ready to go.”

School Board Position 4:

“Eden is very intense but I think she’ll be awesome. She’s been doing the work in Oly for years and she knows what needs to happen here.”

“Yeah, she’s got it.”

School Board Position 5:

Helmstetter: 

“Andre is quite dope. Have seen him talk at the LDs and he’s very on-the-ball. Definitely a champion for equity and also just a real nice-seeming dude.”

Vasquez:

“NOT OMAR. The KCYD endorsed him because he lied to them about his charter school shit. He sucks. Not him.”

Pullin DeWolf:

“Can we talk about the fact that the School Board has never had an out LGBTQIA member? ZPD will bring a REALLY important perspective and set of experiences with his know-how of low-income and renter communities and the ways in which schools can/should be supporting their youth. I’m all in on Zach.”

“ZPD is one of my absolute favorite people in the entire state. His empathy floors me every time.”

“Folks are skeptical about the idea of having someone on the school board who doesn’t have kids, but I think that’s kind of ridiculous because it basically says that only people WITH kids should care about schools. Literally no. Schools are part of the economic pipeline that impact all of us, and people from all walks should have buy-in, especially when they have a perspective (queer, Native) that’s so different from the traditional school board membership.”

School Board Position 7:

Byers:

“Chelsea is the only one who’s even really bothered to mount a campaign so I’m going with her. She’s fine.”

“A lot of folks are #teambetty but frankly I think Chelsea is the only one showing up to talk about her platform and I think she’ll be great.”

KC Sheriff: 

Urquhart:

“Boy, bye.”

“What if we threw all alleged rapists and part-of-the-problem dudes out of office in 2017 #matriarchy”

“GTFO, John, I’m over you.”

Johanknecht:

“Mitzi has dope plans for how we can change the police force through training, recruiting, and how they interact with neighborhoods and we NEED to see significant changes in the culture of all law enforcement entities. I’m ALL IN for Mitzi.”

KC Exec: 

Hirt:

“Literally the only reason this dude is running is to find a larger audience for his tears about the East Link and how >_< he is about what’ll do for people trying to drive from Mercer Island. Next.”

“Yeah Mercer Island already managed to get $10 million from ST from East Link tears, let’s not make it any easier for that to happen.”

Constantine:

“Natch.”

“**hearts for eyes emoji**”

“Even if yr not a Dow fan (which to be clear, I am!) he is also literally the only decent candidate in this race.”

Nelson:

“FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS JOKE-VOTE FOR GOODSPACEGUY, AKA BADABOLISHTHEMINIMUMWAGEGUY.”

Lipman:

“lol this guy sucks.”

Ballots should be arriving around July 12; Election Day is August 1st, which means you need to postmark it before that or drop it in a ballot box. 

Go vote! Make sure you put a stamp on it! We love you! 

[gyrlversion]

May will ‘destroy’ the Tory party if she caves to soft Brexit demands

Theresa May would ‘destroy’ the Tory party and put Jeremy Corbyn in No 10 if she gives in to demands to adopt a soft Brexit, senior ministers warned last night.

MPs are staging a vote tonight on whether to try to force the Prime Minister to shift to a customs union or Norway-style soft Brexit.

No10 is braced for a possible Cabinet walkout as early as tomorrow when ministers debate whether to accept Parliament’s demands.

If she were to give way to a softer Brexit, Mrs May would provoke a furious reaction from Brexiteers, with International Development Secretary Penny Mordaunt and Transport Secretary Chris Grayling among the ministers reportedly ready to resign. 

More than 170 Tory MPs, including ten Cabinet ministers, have already signed a blunt, two-paragraph letter to Mrs May reminding her of the party’s manifesto commitment to take Britain out of both the customs union and the single market. 

The letter urges her to take the UK out of the EU without a deal on April 12 if she cannot get her own deal through Parliament in the coming days.

Today Chief Secretary to the Treasury warned the PM against lurching towards a customs union deal because ‘it’s not clear that going softer is the way to command support’ – but ruled out quitting. 

She added: ‘I don’t have any fear of No Deal – what would be worse is if we don’t Brexit at all. I think the answer lies in modifications to the Prime Minister’s deal to be able to get that to have support’.

Environment Secretary Michael Gove said today: ‘One thing is clear: We have to leave the European Union in good order. Parliament won’t vote for No Deal. No Deal is bad for our economy and bad for our union’.

Theresa May (left) has been warned she will ‘destroy’ the Tory party if she caves in to calls for a soft Brexit while Boris Johnson (right) urged Conservative MPs to ‘get brexit done’

Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Michael Gove leaves his home for a morning jog as MPs prepare to grab control of Brexit

And last night, two Cabinet ministers told the Daily Mail that shifting to a soft Brexit could lead to a collapse of the Government and usher in a Labour regime led by Mr Corbyn.

Timetable for four days of Westminster turmoil 

Today: MPs led by Tory Sir Oliver Letwin and Labour’s Yvette Cooper will vote tonight on whether to adopt a soft Brexit option, such as a customs union or membership of the single market, possibly accompanied by a second referendum. Last week, MPs rejected all eight Brexit options put to them in a series of ‘indicative votes’, but supporters of a soft Brexit from both the Tory and Labour benches believe they have a better chance tonight following the third defeat for Theresa May’s deal.

Tomorrow: The Cabinet will meet to discuss a response to the votes. If MPs have backed a customs union, Mrs May will have to decide whether to accept a policy opposed by the vast majority of Tory MPs. If she agrees, the issue could tear the party apart. If she refuses, it would result in a constitutional stand-off that could spark an election. Downing Street fears that she could face a Cabinet walkout regardless of what she decides.

Wednesday: Sir Oliver Letwin has indicated he will try to seize control of the Commons agenda again to pursue his soft Brexit plan. If Monday’s votes were inconclusive, they could be held again, possibly using preferential voting to reduce the options to one. If Monday night’s vote produced a solution, but Mrs May refused to adopt it, Parliament could legislate in a bid to force her hand.

Thursday: Allies of the PM have the day pencilled in for a possible fourth attempt to get her deal through the Commons. They believe that, with the majority against her coming down from 230 to 149 then to 58 last week, they have momentum on their side. Ministers are considering an unprecedented parliamentary ‘run off’ pitting Mrs May’s deal against the soft Brexit option chosen by MPs in the hope of focusing the minds of Tory eurosceptics. 

  One said: ‘If forced to choose I would favour a general election over a customs union, but it’s like a choice between being stabbed in the left hand and stabbed in the right. Either one could take us to a Corbyn government.

‘The Conservative Party cannot accept a customs union, and at least half the Cabinet won’t accept it. It would destroy the party and it would lead to an election anyway, which we would then lose.

‘The only route we can possibly survive is to go for No Deal. At least we would then enter an election in the right political place, having delivered Brexit.’

Another Cabinet minister said: ‘We cannot go for a customs union – there would be no government left. And if we go for an election then Corbyn will be likely to win and we would end up with a customs union anyway.’

Justice Secretary David Gauke infuriated Eurosceptic MPs yesterday when he declared that Mrs May would have to ‘look closely’ at adopting a customs union if Parliament votes for it.

Meanwhile Boris Johnson urged the Tories to ‘believe in Britain’ and ‘get Brexit done’. 

Writing in the Daily Telegraph, he said: ‘We should really come out with no deal – now looking by far the best option.

‘But if we cannot achieve that, then we need to get out, now, with an interim solution that most closely resembles what the people voted for, in the knowledge that – following the Prime Minister’s decision to step down – we have at least the chance to fix it in the second phase of the negotiations.’ 

Mr Gauke and fellow Remainers Greg Clark, Amber Rudd, Philip Hammond and David Lidington are urging Mrs May to push for a softer Brexit if it avoids No Deal.

Last night, members of the group were privately encouraging Remainer Tories to back the option in tonight’s vote.

But Downing Street slapped down Mr Gauke, saying Mrs May was committed to delivering a Brexit deal ‘which does not include membership of the custom union’. However, a pro-Remain Cabinet source said Mrs May would have to accept the will of Parliament, adding: ‘Something is going to have to give this week – she is finally going to have to pick a side, and that is going to leave one half of the Cabinet very unhappy. But if the majority in Parliament comes out for a customs union then that will be very hard to resist.’

The eight Brexit alternatives that MPs will vote on tonight 

These are the results of last week’s indicative votes on Brexit, in order of preference. It shows that while MPs can’t find a consensus they lean heavily towards a softer Brexit or second referendum 

MPs are expected to take part in the second stage of the Brexit indicative vote process on Monday.

None of the eight alternatives to Prime Minister Theresa May’s deal were approved last week after Parliament seized control of the Commons agenda.

Many of the ideas have returned for a second attempt, with Speaker John Bercow the person responsible for selecting which ones can be put to a vote.

– Motion A: Unilateral right of exit from the backstop.

Tory backbenchers, led by John Baron, want the UK to leave the EU on May 22 2019 with the Withdrawal Agreement amended to allow the UK unilaterally to exit the controversial Northern Ireland backstop.

– Motion B: No deal in the absence of a Withdrawal Agreement.

Another proposal from Mr Baron, which calls for a no-deal Brexit on April 12 if no Withdrawal Agreement can be agreed by the Commons.

– Motion C: Customs union.

Tory former chancellor Ken Clarke’s customs union plan requires any Brexit deal to include, as a minimum, a commitment to negotiate a “permanent and comprehensive UK-wide customs union with the EU”.

This was defeated by the smallest margin in the first round, falling just six votes short.

– Motion D: Common market 2.0.

Tabled by Conservatives Nick Boles, Robert Halfon and Dame Caroline Spelman and Labour’s Stephen Kinnock, Lucy Powell plus the SNP’s Stewart Hosie.

The motion proposes UK membership of the European Free Trade Association and European Economic Area. It allows continued participation in the single market and a “comprehensive customs arrangement” with the EU after Brexit – including a “UK say” on future EU trade deals – would remain in place until the agreement of a wider trade deal which guarantees frictionless movement of goods and an open border in Ireland.

– Motion E: Confirmatory public vote.

It has been drawn up by Labour MPs Peter Kyle and Phil Wilson. This motion would require a public vote to confirm any Brexit deal passed by Parliament before its ratification. This option, tabled last time by Labour former minister Dame Margaret Beckett, polled the highest number of votes although was defeated by 295 votes to 268.

– Motion F: Public vote to prevent no deal.

Moved by Labour’s Graham Jones and Tory former minister Dominic Grieve, this proposal would require a referendum, if necessary, to prevent the UK leaving the EU without a deal.

Motion G: Parliamentary supremacy.

SNP MP Joanna Cherry joins with Mr Grieve and MPs from other parties with this plan to seek an extension to the Brexit process, and if this is not possible then Parliament will choose between either no-deal or revoking Article 50.

An inquiry would follow to assess the future relationship likely to be acceptable to Brussels and have majority support in the UK.

Motion H: Efta and EEA.

A motion tabled by Conservative MP George Eustice – who quit as agriculture minister to fight for Brexit – proposes rejoining the European Free Trade Association (Efta) at the “earliest opportunity”, agree a short extension to the UK’s membership of the EU to conclude accession to Efta and negotiate with the EU additional protocols relating to the Northern Ireland border and agri-food trade.

Ahead of another dramatic week:

Government sources said Mrs May would try to bring her deal back to the Commons for a fourth time this week, despite hopes fading that the DUP will ever support it.

European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker said: ‘We have had a lot of patience with our British friends over Brexit but patience runs out.’

Former Tory prime minister Sir John Major called for a ‘government of national unity’ to push through a soft Brexit or second referendum.

Tory deputy chairman James Cleverly warned that Mrs May could lead the party into a snap general election if the Brexit deadlock continues, despite opposition from Tory MPs and a poll putting Labour five points ahead.

Work and Pensions Secretary Mrs Rudd set up a new group of moderate Tories designed to block hard Brexiteers such as Dominic Raab and Boris Johnson succeeding Mrs May as PM.

Labour shifted decisively behind a second referendum, with Tom Watson saying it was ‘inconceivable’ the party would not back the idea and Emily Thornberry declaring: ‘In my heart I want to stay.’

Former Middle East minister Alistair Burt said the Brexit deadlock was putting the UK ‘in peril’, adding: ‘I’ve spent enough time in conflict areas over the last few years to know how fragile peace and security is.’

Whitehall sources said Cabinet Secretary Sir Mark Sedwill had convinced Mrs May to drop the idea of leaving the EU without a deal after warning her it would lead to the break-up of the UK.

Parliament will hold a second round of ‘indicative votes’ tonight in a process led by Tory grandee Sir Oliver Letwin designed to identify a soft Brexit alternative to Mrs May’s deal.

A customs union option was narrowly defeated last week and last night there were indications that Mr Corbyn could order his MPs to back a super-soft ‘Common Market 2.0’ option, which would keep the UK in the single market and make it impossible to end free movement.

Privately, some allies of Mrs May believe Sir Oliver could do her a favour by crystallising the choice for Eurosceptic MPs into a risk that her deal might lead to a customs union against the certainty of being locked in one.   

Mr Gauke said Mrs May (pictured yesterday at church in Maidenhead) must consider tearing up the Tory party manifesto to get an orderly Brexit through Parliament if necessary

Theresa May‘s Commons enforcer has criticised the Government’s approach to leaving the EU and said his party should have made it clear a ‘softer Brexit‘ was ‘inevitable’ after the 2017 election.

In an extraordinary interview Julian Smith, the Tory chief whip, also and attacked Cabinet members over the ‘worst example of ill-discipline in British political history’.

He said ministers have been ‘sitting around the Cabinet table trying to destabilise her (Mrs May)’, revealing the battle the Prime Minister has with both Brexiteer and remainers in her Cabinet.

It came as MPs are set to take back control of the Brexit agenda in a fresh attempt to find an alternative to Theresa May’s deal that Parliament can support.

The Commons will stage a second round of ‘indicative’ votes on Monday on a series of rival proposals tabled by backbenchers to see if any can command a majority.

The move comes as Mrs May struggles to contain the rising tensions with her Cabinet as the clock counts down to the latest EU deadline on April 12.

If she were to give way to a softer Brexit, she would provoke a furious reaction from Brexiteers, with International Development Secretary Penny Mordaunt and Transport Secretary Chris Grayling among the ministers reportedly ready to resign.  

Julian Smith, the Tory chief whip,  has said Theresa May’s government should have said that a softer Brexit was inevitable after it lost its majority in a 2017 election

Mr Smith spoke out to suggest ministers had pursued the wrong strategy after the Prime Minister lost the Conservatives’ Commons majority in the 2017 snap election.

He said the result of the poll meant that Mrs May simply did not have enough MPs to back a harder version of Brexit.

The comments were published by the BBC amid speculation that Parliament may force the PM to seek membership of a customs union with Brussels in order to pass her deal, which would mean ripping up one of her key red lines.

‘The thing that people forget is that the Conservative Party went to get a majority in order to deliver Brexit (and) failed to get a majority,’ the chief whip said.

‘The Government as a whole probably should just have been clearer on the consequences of that. The parliamentary arithmetic would mean that this would be inevitably a softer type of Brexit.’

While the strategy was apparently misjudged, Mr Smith said he was ‘frustrated’ by MPs who ‘don’t see the light as clearly as I do’.

Mrs May’s deal has now fallen three times in the Commons, with Tory MPs among those who voted against it on each occasion.

However Mr Smith highlighted that a lack of discipline extended all the way to the Cabinet, with ministers ‘sitting around the Cabinet table … trying to destabilise her (Mrs May)’.

‘This is I think the worst example of ill-discipline in Cabinet in British political history,’ he said.

MPs will launch a fresh attempt to force Theresa May into a soft Brexit tonight by holding votes on alternatives to her deal.

Ministers believe as many as 70 Tory MPs could back a proposal to remain in the EU customs union, which could lead to it winning over a majority of MPs.

Justice Secretary David Gauke (pictured) infuriated Eurosceptic MPs when he declared that Mrs May would have to ‘look closely’ at adopting a customs union if Parliament votes for it

Backbenchers led by Sir Oliver Letwin have taken control of the Commons timetable to stage a second round of indicative votes after none of the eight options put to MPs last week won enough support.

If a majority emerges for one of the alternatives tonight, the rebels plan to put down legislation on Wednesday that would force ministers to act.

Former Cabinet minister Ken Clarke, who drew up the customs union plan defeated by just six votes last week, has said he is ‘reasonably confident’ it will get over the line this time.

Meanwhile, supporters of a so-called ‘Common Market 2.0’ proposal that would keep Britain in the customs union and the single market have been seeking to win over DUP and SNP MPs who all abstained when it was voted on last week.

Staying in the single market would involve continued freedom of movement and making contributions to the EU budget, while being in a customs union would prevent Britain from striking its own trade deals.

Nick Boles, the Tory ex-minister behind Common Market 2.0 – rejected by 283 votes to 188 last week – declared last night that it was ‘alive and squawking’.

‘The only reason it scored fewer votes overall was that Labour didn’t whip for it. Tomorrow that might change,’ he said. Tory George Freeman, who backs the idea, said: ‘Only Common Market 2.0 looks like winning support from all parties.’

The SNP’s Westminster leader Ian Blackford said his party’s 35 MPs would not back Mr Clarke’s plan as it would end freedom of movement, but signalled that they could back Common Market 2.0 because they want single-market membership.

It is thought that Labour will order its MPs to back the Boles plan this time, even though continued freedom of movement would go down badly with voters in the party’s Leave-supporting constituencies.

The Conservatives are expected to repeat last week’s tactic, when junior ministers and backbenchers were given a free vote but Mrs May and the 28 ministers who attend Cabinet abstained.

MPs have put forward eight options for tonight’s vote – removing the Irish backstop in Mrs May’s deal, No Deal on April 12, a permanent customs union, Common Market 2.0, revoking Article 50, single market membership and two variations on a second referendum.

This afternoon Speaker John Bercow is expected to select three or four alternatives to go on a ballot paper, with the votes scheduled to take place at 8pm.

Downing Street is considering offering a run-off between Mrs May’s deal and the frontrunner from the indicative votes.

Despite three previous rejections, No10 believes her deal could still prevail because in the first round of the indicative votes on Friday it did better than any alternative.

In an article for Conservative Home, Tory ex-minister Greg Hands yesterday warned that staying in the customs union would be a ‘serious mistake’ and ‘in the medium term be democratically unsustainable’.

PM ‘will not quit and may lead Tories into snap poll’ 

Theresa May could lead the Tories into a snap election despite her pledge to quit, the party’s deputy chairman said yesterday.

James Cleverly insisted the Conservatives do not want an election, but acknowledged the party was now preparing for the possibility following months of Brexit deadlock.

Tory backbenchers yesterday warned they could try to block a general election if Mrs May attempted to call one.

It came as a poll suggested Tory infighting over Brexit had put Jeremy Corbyn on course for Downing Street.

The Deltapoll survey for the Mail on Sunday put Labour on 41 per cent – five points ahead of the Tories on 36.

This would translate into Labour winning 307 seats – 19 short of a majority – with the Conservatives on 264.

Mr Cleverly said his party had started ‘sensible, pragmatic planning’ for an election.

Tory MPs fear that Jeremy Corbyn (pictured on Saturday) could win a general election if Theresa May caves in over a customs union 

Asked whether they were prepared, he told Sky News: ‘Look, I’ll be completely straight with you. We have got a minority government in a turbulent time so just in terms of sensible, pragmatic planning, but we are not seeking or preparing in that sort of sense.’

Cross-party ‘unity government’ could resolve crisis, says ex-PM John Major 

Britain may be ‘driven to a national government’ of unity to resolve the crisis, Sir John Major said yesterday.

The former Tory prime minister, who supports a second referendum, said the UK was facing a ‘constitutional and political [Brexit] crisis’ that a minority Conservative government may be unable to tackle alone.

He suggested politicians might have to create the first ‘government of national unity’ since the Second World War. This could involve senior Labour politicians being given roles in the Cabinet to try to drive through a compromise.

Tory advocates of the idea have said they could never work with Jeremy Corbyn, but believe his deputy Tom Watson and senior figures such as Yvette Cooper might be persuaded to sign up in the national interest. However, Mr Watson yesterday said he was not interested, saying: ‘I don’t want a national unity government, I want a Labour government that negotiates a better Brexit deal that allows the people to have their say on that and then transforms the economy of Britain to benefit the many not the few.’

Sir John, an outspoken critic of Brexit, acknowledged that the current upheaval could lead to an election. But he told the BBC’s Andrew Marr show: ‘If we don’t get a government with a clear majority, then I think it would be in the national interest to have a cross-party government so that we can take decisions without the chaos that we’re seeing in Parliament at the moment.’

Centrist Tories have also made similar proposals in recent days. George Freeman, a former policy adviser to Theresa May, has said: ‘We need a Brexit war cabinet.’

Mrs May told Tory MPs last week that she was prepared to step aside next month if her Brexit deal finally gets through Parliament.

But she was silent on what would happen if it failed and the country was plunged into a long Brexit delay that could spark an election.

Mr Cleverly suggested that a Tory leadership contest might not be possible if a snap election were called, as the process ‘takes a period of time’.

Asked whether Mrs May could lead the Tories into another election, he said: ‘Well, that is the inevitable possibility.’

One Cabinet minister also predicted Mrs May could try to cling on in the event of a snap poll, saying: ‘No one wants an election and, if we do end up in one, no one wants her to lead us into it. But if it came at short notice, and she wanted to do it, how could we stop her? Draw lots in the Cabinet?’ Under the rules of the Fixed-Term Parliaments Act a prime minister can no longer call a snap election without the approval of Parliament.

However, an election could come about if Mrs May loses a formal confidence vote in the Commons.

She could also call an early election if she can secure a two-thirds majority for it in the Commons.

But yesterday a string of MPs on both sides of the party suggested they would try to vote down any attempt by Mrs May to go the country early.

Former Tory Cabinet minister Sir John Redwood said: ‘Conservative MPs will not vote for an early general election.’ Fellow Brexiteer Andrew Bridgen said: ‘We are not going to allow her to call an election unless we have left the EU – we would be wiped out.’

Pro-Remain Tory Antoinette Sandbach also rejected the idea, saying: ‘The answer is not a general election, and I would vote against it.’

Labour’s deputy leader Tom Watson said his party was ‘gearing up for an election’.

He told BBC One’s The Andrew Marr Show: ‘I’ve spoken to Jeremy [Corbyn] last night. He’s putting us on election footing.

‘I’m going to be talking to our NEC [National Executive Committee] members later today, because obviously we need to reselect our sitting MPs ready for a general election.’ 

Jeremy Corbyn would be poised on the threshold of Downing Street if Theresa May called a General Election, an exclusive Mail on Sunday poll has found

Is he joking? Tom Watson says a second referendum on Brexit will UNITE the country as he vows to offer one in Labour’s next manifesto 

Tom Watson yesterday declared that a second referendum was the only way to unite the country.

The deputy leader of Labour said it would be inconceivable to not promise another vote in the next election manifesto.

And he said his party had experienced a boost in the polls thanks to its support for the idea.

‘We need to move beyond Brexit but it seems to me the only way we can do that is to have a people’s vote,’ he told the BBC.

Labour’s deputy leader Tom Watson, pictured on Sunday, said a second Brexit referendum was ‘the only way we can bring the country back together now’

Asked on the Andrew Marr Show whether he was in favour of a second referendum under all circumstances, he replied: ‘That’s the only way we can bring the country back together now.’

Theresa could save Remainer Grieve from deselection as MP 

Theresa May could intervene to stop the deselection of Dominic Grieve MP, a minister suggested yesterday.

The former attorney general faces being removed as the Tory candidate in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, over his support for a second referendum.

At a meeting of his local constituency association on Friday, Mr Grieve was heckled by party members who called him ‘liar’, ‘traitor’ and ‘disgusting’.

Dominic Grieve (pictured) faces removal as the Tory candidate in his constituency 

The association passed a motion of no-confidence in their MP by 182 votes to 131 after it was tabled by former Ukip member Jon Conway. But Home Office minister Victoria Atkins yesterday hinted the Prime Minister might step in to ensure the Remain MP keeps his seat. She told Pienaar’s Politics on BBC 5 Live: ‘The Prime Minister’s been very clear about this. Dominic has given years and years of service to the parliamentary party, to the country … It’s not a binding motion, is my understanding.’ She added: ‘We are a broad church and we will not stand for that sort of behaviour. We want to, we have to, reflect the broad range of opinion across the country… Dominic is a very, very good MP and someone I am close to in the party. We want to treat colleagues with respect and courtesy and kindness.’

Since Friday’s meeting, a number of senior party figures have rallied around Mr Grieve, including Boris Johnson who tweeted: ‘We disagree about EU but he is a good man and a true Conservative.’

Mr Watson admitted that he was not responsible for writing Labour’s manifesto and was just ‘one bloke around a table’.

But he added: ‘It seems to me to be inconceivable that if there was a general election tomorrow – and we hope there will be, we have been calling for one for months – that a people’s vote won’t be in the manifesto.’

Shadow Foreign Secretary Emily Thornberry yesterday said that ‘in her heart’ she still wanted to stay in the EU. She told Sky News: ‘We are likely to leave the EU but it is something we need to agree ourselves and I think that there is a strong argument for asking the people to have a final say on this. I think that it is quite difficult for us to leave the European Union, most of us campaigned for Remain. I think in our hearts we want to remain, but the difficulty is that we have to square that with democracy. We are democrats above everything else.’

Miss Thornberry said Theresa May was out of control following the third rejection of her Brexit plan by the Commons.

She added: ‘Even with just days to go she is just saying ‘It is my deal or no deal’. That is not meaningful, that is not democracy. That is Theresa May stamping her feet and saying ‘I want this, no one else is allowed to do anything’. No wonder she is in trouble. She is out of control. She is not listening to anyone. No one knows what she is going to do next. I think her judgment has been undermined.’

The comments came as a poll found Labour has taken a five-point lead over the Conservatives.

The Deltapoll survey for the Mail on Sunday forecast that Mr Corbyn would win 307 seats in a general election – 13 short of a working majority – while the Tories would claim 264.

A Labour Party spokesman said: ‘We will continue to seek a majority in Parliament for a close economic relationship with the EU to break the deadlock or a public vote to avoid a damaging Tory Brexit or a No Deal outcome.

‘Our manifesto will be decided through our party’s democratic policy-making processes in the usual way.’ 

A diagram showing Theresa May’s options ahead of another chaotic week at Westminster 

Rival ‘soft exit’ groups tussling for a chance to beat May’s deal 

Rebel MPs will launch a fresh attempt to force Theresa May into a soft Brexit tonight by holding votes on alternatives to her deal.

Ministers believe as many as 70 Tory MPs could back a proposal to remain in the EU customs union, which could lead to it winning over a majority of MPs.

Backbenchers led by Sir Oliver Letwin have taken control of the Commons timetable to stage a second round of indicative votes after none of the eight options put to MPs last week won enough support.

If a majority emerges for one of the alternatives tonight, the rebels plan to put down legislation on Wednesday that would force ministers to act.

Former Cabinet minister Ken Clarke, who drew up the customs union plan defeated by just six votes last week, has said he is ‘reasonably confident’ it will get over the line this time.

Meanwhile, supporters of a so-called ‘Common Market 2.0’ proposal that would keep Britain in the customs union and the single market have been seeking to win over DUP and SNP MPs who all abstained when it was voted on last week.

Staying in the single market would involve continued freedom of movement and making contributions to the EU budget, while being in a customs union would prevent Britain from striking its own trade deals.

Rebel MPs will launch a fresh attempt to force Theresa May (pictured) into a soft Brexit tonight by holding votes on alternatives to her deal

Nick Boles, the Tory ex-minister behind Common Market 2.0 – rejected by 283 votes to 188 last week – declared last night that it was ‘alive and squawking’.

‘The only reason it scored fewer votes overall was that Labour didn’t whip for it. Tomorrow that might change,’ he said. Tory George Freeman, who backs the idea, said: ‘Only Common Market 2.0 looks like winning support from all parties.’

The SNP’s Westminster leader Ian Blackford said his party’s 35 MPs would not back Mr Clarke’s plan as it would end freedom of movement, but signalled that they could back Common Market 2.0 because they want single-market membership.

It is thought that Labour will order its MPs to back the Boles plan this time, even though continued freedom of movement would go down badly with voters in the party’s Leave-supporting constituencies.

The Conservatives are expected to repeat last week’s tactic, when junior ministers and backbenchers were given a free vote but Mrs May and the 28 ministers who attend Cabinet abstained.

MPs have put forward eight options for tonight’s vote – removing the Irish backstop in Mrs May’s deal, No Deal on April 12, a permanent customs union, Common Market 2.0, revoking Article 50, single market membership and two variations on a second referendum.

This afternoon Speaker John Bercow is expected to select three or four alternatives to go on a ballot paper, with the votes scheduled to take place at 8pm.

Downing Street is considering offering a run-off between Mrs May’s deal and the frontrunner from the indicative votes.

Despite three previous rejections, No10 believes her deal could still prevail because in the first round of the indicative votes on Friday it did better than any alternative.

In an article for Conservative Home, Tory ex-minister Greg Hands yesterday warned that staying in the customs union would be a ‘serious mistake’ and ‘in the medium term be democratically unsustainable’.

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[theconservativebrief]

Health care carried House Democrats to victory on Election Day. But what now?

In interviews this fall with a half-dozen senior House Democratic aides, health care lobbyists, and progressive wonks, it became clear the party is only in the nascent stages of figuring out its next steps on health care.

The new House Democratic majority knows what it opposes. They want to stop any further efforts by Republicans or the Trump administration to roll back and undermine the Affordable Care Act or overhaul Medicaid and Medicare.

But Democrats are less certain about an affirmative health care agenda. Most Democrats campaigned on protecting preexisting conditions, but the ACA has already done that. Medicare-for-all is energizing the party’s left wing, but nobody expects a single-payer bill to start moving through the House. Drug prices offer the rare opportunity for bipartisan work with Senate Republicans and the Trump White House, but it is also a difficult problem with few easy policy solutions — certainly not any silver bullet that Democrats could pull out of the box and pass on Day One, or even Month One, of the next Congress.

Winning a House majority to ensure Obamacare’s safety is an important turning point, after so many years in which health care hurt Democrats much more than it helped.

But the path forward for Democrats on their signature issue is surprisingly undefined.

Democrats do have some ideas, of course. Democratic aides emphasized the various investigations they could launch into Trump’s health department, not only looking into any efforts by the White House to sabotage Obamacare, but also focusing on more obscure issues like Medicare payment rates.

But wonky oversight inquires probably aren’t the big-ticket item that new Democratic members and their voters are looking for, especially heading into the 2020 presidential election.

After campaigning in defense of Obamacare, warning about Republicans rolling back preexisting conditions protections and the Trump administration’s sabotage of the health care law, a bill to stabilize the Obamacare insurance markets would be the obvious first item for the new Democratic majority’s agenda.

Several sources pointed to a bill by Democratic Reps. Richard Neal (MA), Frank Pallone (NJ), and Bobby Scott (VA) — who have been serving as the top Democrats on leading health care-related committees — as the likely starting point. The plan is designed to build off Obamacare’s infrastructure to expand federal assistance while reversing the recent Republican efforts to undermine the law.

That bill would expand Obamacare’s premium subsidies, both by extending federal assistance to more people in lifting the current eligibility cutoff and increasing the size of the tax credits people receive. It would also bolster the cost-sharing reduction subsidies that people with lower incomes receive to reduce their out-of-pocket costs, while extending eligibility for those subsidies to people with higher incomes.

The Pallone-Neal-Scott bill would reverse the Trump administration’s recent regulations intended to funnel more people to insurance plans that are not required to meet all of Obamacare’s rules for preexisting conditions. It would also pump more money back into enrollment outreach, cut by the Trump administration, and establish a new program to compensate insurers for high-cost patients, with the hope of keeping premiums down.

Two things stick out about this bill: It would be the most robust expansion of Obamacare since the law first passed and it is just narrow enough that, with a few sweeteners for the Senate Republicans, it could conceivably have a chance to pass. Democrats are waiting to see how the GOP majority in the upper chamber reacts to losing the House.

“Undoing sabotage and bringing stabilization to the ACA markets, that’s something we should really be thinking about,” one House Democratic aide told me. “It depends on what kind of mood the Republicans are in. Maybe they’ll say that actually now that the tables are turned we should probably sit down.”

Senate Republicans and Democrats did come very close to a narrow, bipartisan deal — it wasn’t even as robust as the Pallone-Neal-Scott bill — to stabilize Obamacare in 2017. It fell apart, ostensibly after a tiff over abortion-related provisions, but that near-miss would be the reason for any optimism about a bipartisan deal on the divisive health care law.

The Pallone-Neal-Scott bill might be a nice starting point — no Democrat really disagrees about whether they should help the law work better in the short term — but it still lacks any truly ambitious provisions. It is just about as narrowly tailored as an Obamacare stabilization bill offered by Democrats could be, a fact that aides and activists will privately concede.

Missing are any of the bolder policy proposals animating the left. Not even a hint of Medicare-for-all single-payer health care, which is or isn’t a surprise, depending on how you look at it.

Medicare-for-all is quickly becoming orthodoxy among many in the party’s progressive grassroots, and a single-payer bill proposed this Congress in the House (similar to the one offered by Bernie Sanders over in the Senate) has 123 sponsors.

But House Democratic leaders probably don’t want to take up such a potentially explosive issue too soon after finally clawing back a modicum of power in Trump’s Washington.

Still, the current stabilization bill doesn’t even include a Medicare or Medicaid buy-in, the rebranded public option that never made it into Obamacare but would allow Americans to voluntarily join one of the major government insurance programs. It is an idea that even the more moderate Democratic members tend to support, and polls have found three-fourths of Americans think a Medicare buy-in is a good idea.

The plain truth is House Democrats haven’t reached a consensus yet about what they want to do to cover more Americans. They agree Obamacare was an important first step, and they agree the status quo is unacceptable. But the exact mechanism for achieving those goals — single-payer, a robust public option, or simply a buffed-up version of Obamacare — is still very much up for debate.

“People will want to do something, but any further action is going to be a consensus-building process,” a senior House Democratic aide told me. “Democrats have lots of different ideas on how to continue working to reduce the uninsured.”

That is all well and good, but few issues are exciting the Democratic grassroots right now like Medicare-for-all. During the midterm campaigns, Democratic candidates and even grassroots leaders were happy to let those words mean whatever voters wanted them to mean. For some people, it meant single-payer; for others; it might mean a Medicare buy-in or something more limited.

The unreservedly progressive members who were just elected to Congress will only wait so long before they start pressing Democratic leaders to take more aggressive steps to pick up one of their top campaign issues. That pressure will only intensify as the 2020 presidential campaign heats up and Democrats debate what kind of platform they should run on as they seek to take back the White House.

For now, Democrats have tried to put off a difficult debate and focus on what unites them. But the debate is still coming.

Even with Obamacare and preexisting conditions mobilizing Democratic voters this year, prescription drug prices remain a top concern for many Americans. That’s another area where Democrats know they want to act but don’t know yet exactly what they can or should do.

The issue could be an opening for serious dealmaking: Trump himself has attacked Big Pharma since his presidential campaign. His administration has actually launched some interesting initiatives to rein in drug costs — approving a record number of generic drugs, trying to even the playing field between America and foreign countries — that have some policy wonks intrigued, even if the impact is still to be determined.

Democrats have mostly stuck to slamming Trump for feigning to act on drug prices while cozying up to the drug industry. But it’s a top priority for both parties, and there could be some room for compromise. One progressive policy wonk thought a drug prices bill might actually be the first Democratic priority. It helps that drug prices are a populist issue that the new House majority might really be able to pass a bill on.

But first, Democrats have to figure out what exactly they are for — and what would actually make a difference.

The rallying cry for Democrats on drug prices has been letting Medicare directly negotiate prices with drug manufacturers, a proposal that Trump also embraced as a candidate, though he has since softened as president. But the problem is, the Congressional Budget Office doesn’t think Medicare negotiations would save any money unless the government is willing to deny seniors coverage for certain medications. But adding such a provision would surely invite attacks that Democrats are depriving people’s grandparents of the medications they need.

There are a lot of levers to pull to try to reduce drug prices: the patent protections that pharma companies receive for new drugs, the mandated discounts when the government buys drugs for Medicare and Medicaid, existing hurdles to getting generic drugs approved, the tax treatment of drug research-and-development. Pharmacy benefits managers, the mysterious middle man between health insurers and drug makers, are viewed skeptically by lawmakers and the public.

But none of those are silver bullets to lower prices, and they will certainly invite pushback from the politically potent pharmaceutical lobby, focused on the concerns about how much cracking down on drug companies to discourage them from developing new drugs. Democrats also don’t know yet what specific policies could win support from Senate Republicans or the Trump White House.

“How do you take this gargantuan Chinese menu of things and figure out how things fit together in a way that stem some of the abuses?” is how one Democratic aide summarized the dilemma.

It is a problem bedeviling Democrats on more than just drug prices. Health care was a winner on election night this year, and it has always been a priority for Democrats. Now they just need to figure out what to do.

Original Source -> What the new Democratic House majority might actually pass on health care

via The Conservative Brief

[nchyinotes]

So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson

the spambot left me feeling powerless and sullied. my identity had been redefined all wrong by strangers and i had no recourse. (3)

“a researcher in technology and cyber culture and director of the virtual futures conference”, “creative technologist” (4)

“you’re proposing yourself as the real mccoy, as it were, and you want to maintain that integrity and authenticity.” (5) “we’re not quite persuaded by that. we think there’s already a layer of artifice and it’s your online personality - the brand jon ronson - you’re trying to protect.” … “that’s why i say you’re using it as brand management.” … “and that’s what’s annoying me so much,” i explained. “it’s a misrepresentation of me." (6)

“it’s about the terror isn’t it?” “the terror of what?” “the terror of being found out,” he looked as if he felt he were taking a risk even mentioning to me the existence of the terror. he meant that we all have ticking away within us something we fear will badly harm our reputation if it got out - some “i’m glad i’m not that” at the end of an “i’m glad i’m not me.” i think he was right. maybe our secret is actually nothing horrendous. maybe nobody would even consider it a big deal if it was exposed. but we can’t take that risk. so we keep it bored. maybe it’s a work impropriety. or maybe it’s just a feeling that at any moment we’ll blurt something out during some important meeting that’ll prove to everyone that we aren’t proper professional people, or in fact, functional human beings. i think that even in these days of significant oversharing we kept this particular terror concealed, like people used to with things like masturbating before everyone suddenly got blasé about it online. with masturbation, nobody cares. whereas our reputation - it’s everything. (31)

delaware laws: if jonah had been found guilty of ‘lying or publishing fake news” in the 1800s, he could have been publicly whipped! (53)

i suppose that when shamings are delivered like remotely administered drone strikes nobody needs to think about how ferocious our collective power might be. the snowflake never needs to feel responsible for the avalanche. (56)

“i always felt like a fad. i felt like i was going to be hot for a second and then i would disappear. so i had to act while i could. and there was just some deep seated … some very dangerous and reckless ambition. you combine insecurity and ambition, and you get an inability to say no to things.” (60)

I suddenly remembered how weirdly tarnished i felt when the spambot men created their fake jon ronson, getting my character traits all wrong, turning me into some horrific, garrulous foodie, and strangers believed it was me, and there was nothing i could do. that’s what was happening to justine, although instead of a foodie she was a racist and instead of fifty people it was 1.22 million (75)

So there it was: at aryan nations, you didn’t need to be an actual Jew to be jew ish. and the same was true on twitter with the privileged racist justine sacco, who was neither especially privileged nor a racist. but it didn’t matter. it was enough that it sort of seemed like she was. (77)

her destruction was justified, sam biddle was saying, because justine was a racist, and because attacking her was punching up. they were cutting down a member of the media elite, continuing the civil rights tradition that started with rosa parks, the hitherto silenced underdogs shaming into submission the powerful racist. but i didn’t think any of those things were true. if punching justine sacco was ever punching up - and it didn’t seem so to me given that she was an unknown PR woman with 170 twitter followers - the punching only intensified as she plummeted to the ground. (78)

a life had been ruined. what was it for: just some social media drama? … with social media, we’ve created a stage for constant artificial high drama. (78)

he was just like everyone who participates in mass online destruction. who would want to know? whatever that pleasurable rush that overwhelms us is - group madness or something else - nobody wants to ruin it by facing the fact that it comes with a cost. (79)

in psychology it’s known as cognitive dissonance. it’s the idea that it feels stressful and painful for us to hold two contradictory ideas at the same time (like the idea that we’re kind people and the idea that we’ve just destroyed someone). and so to ease the pain we create illusory ways to justify our contradictory behaviour. (81)

"but aren’t you turning the criminal justice system into entertainment?” i asked (85)

judge ted poe’s critics - like the ACLU - argued to him the dangers of those ostentatious punishments, especially those that were carried out in public. they said it was no coincidence that public shaming had enjoyed such a renaissance in mao’s china an whittler’s germany and the KKK’s america - it destroys souls, brutalising everyone, the onlookers included, dehumanising them as much as the person being shamed. (83)

but mike hubaecek thought his shaming was the best thing that had ever happened to him. this was especially true, he told me, because the onlookers had been so nice. he’d feared abuse and ridicule. but no. … their kindness meant everything, he said. it made it all right. it set him on his path to salvation. (87)

“social media shamings are worse than your shamings,” i said suddenly to ted poe. he looked taken aback. “they are worse,” he replied. “they’re anonymous.” “or even if they’re not anonymous, it’s such a pile on they may as well be,” i said. “they’re brutal,” he said. i suddenly became aware that throughout our conversation i’d been using the word they. and each time that i did, i felt like i was being spineless. the fact was, they weren’t brutal. we were brutal. (88)

for the first time in history we sort of had direct access to ivory-tower oligarchs like (donald trump and rupert murdoch). we became keenly watchful for transgressions. after a while, it wasn’t just transgressions we were keenly watchful for. it was misspeaking. fury at the terribleness of other people had started to consume us a lot. and the rage that swirled around seemed increasingly in disproportion to whatever stupid thing some celebrity had said. (88)

“the justice system in the west has a lot of problems,” poe said, “But at least there are rules. you have basic rights as the accused. you have your day in court. you don’t have any rights when you’re accused on the internet. and the consequences are worse. it’s worldwide forever.” it felt good to see the balance of power shift so that someone like ted poe was afraid of people like us. but he wouldn’t sentence people to hold a placard for something they hadn’t been convicted of. he wouldn’t sentence someone for telling a joke that came out badly. the people we were destroying were no longer just people like jonah: public figures who had committed actual transgressions. they were private individuals who really hand’t done anything much wrong. ordinary humans were being forced to learn damage control, like corporations that had committed PR disasters. it was very stressful. “we are more frightening than you,” i said to poe, feeling quite awed. poe sat back in his chair, satisfied. “you are much more frighting,” he said. (90)

her motives were kinder than that. she was also someone whose shaming frenzy was motivated by the desire to do good. (123)

"dragging down justine sacco felt like dragging down every rich white person who’s ever gotten away with making a racist joke because they could. she thought her black AIDS joke was funny because she doesn’t know what it’s like to be a disadvantaged black person or to be diagnosed with AIDS. … Some sorts of crimes can only be handled by public consensus and shaming. it’s a different kind of court. a different kind of jury.” (128)

eventually, general motors was forced to admit the plot and apologise to nader in a congressional hearing. the incident proved to him, and later to max, that the car industry was not above trying to shame its opponents into silence in its battle against safety do gooders, and that people in high places were prepared to ingeniously deploy shaming as a means of moneymaking and social control. maybe we only notice it happening when its done too audaciously or poorly, as it had been with ralph nader. (143)

if our shame worthiness lies in the space between who we are and how we present ourselves to the world, max was narrowing that gap to nothing. whereas jonah’s gap was as wide as the grand canyon. (144)

brad blanton: many of us “live our lives constantly in fear ob being exposed or being judged as immoral or not good enough.” to eradicate those feelings = radical honesty (158)

shame can factor large in the life of a journalist - the personal avoidance of it and the professional bestowing of it onto others. (168)

almost none of the murderous fantasies were dreams dup in response to actual danger - stalker ex boyfriends, etc. they were all about the horror of humiliation. … shame internalised can lead to agony. (170)

max mosley: as soon as the victim steps out of the pact by refusing to feel ashamed, the whole thing crumbles. —> jon realises this is wrong (176)

but the shifting sands of shame worthiness had shifted away from sex scandals - if you’re a man - to work improprieties and perceived white privilege, and i suddenly understood the real reason mark had survived his shaming. nobody cared. max survived his shaming because he was a man in a consensual sex shaming - which meant there had been no shaming. … of all the public scandals, being a man in a consensual sex scandal is probably the one to hope for. max was a target of no one - not liberals like me, not the online misogynists who tear apart women who step out of line. (186)

i think we all care deeply about things that seem totally inconsequential to other people. we all carry around with us the flotsam and jetsam of perceived humiliations that actually mean nothing. we are a mass of vulnerabilities, and who knows what will trigger them? (189)

how could almost identical shamings annihilate one man and leave another without a scratch? (193)

“the way we construct consciousness is to tell the story of ourselves to ourselves, the story of who we believe we are. i feel that a really public shaming or humiliation is a conflict between the person trying to write his own narrative and society trying to write  a different narrative for the person. one story tries to overwrite the other. and so to survive you have to own your own story. or you write a third story. you react to the narrative that’s been forced upon you. you have to find a way to disrespect the other narrative. if you believe it, it will crush you.” - mike daisey (200)

then she left new york. “in new york your career is your identity. i had that taken away from me” (justine) (201)

i think she still felt ashamed, but maybe not quite so much. instead, she said, she felt humiliated. (after 5 months) (203)

clive’s point was that the criminal justice system is supposed to repair harm, but most prisoners - young, black - have been incarcerated for acts far less emotionally damaging than the injuries we noncriminals perpetrate upon one another all the time - bad husbands, bad wives, ruthless bosses, bullies, bankers. (228)

james gilligan: the world’s best informed chronicler of what a shaming can do to our inner lives, which is why he’s so opposed to its renaissance on social media (245)

“universal among the violent criminals was the fact that they were keeping a secret, a central secret. and that secret was that they felt ashamed - deeply ashamed, chronically ashamed, acutely ashamed." it was shame, every time. "i have yet to see a serious act of violence that was not provoked by the experience of feeling shamed or humiliated, disrespected and ridiculed. as children, these men were shot, axed, scalded, beat, strangled, tortured, drugged, starved, suffocated, set on fire, thrown out of the window, raped, or prostituted by mothers who were their pimps. for others, words alone shamed and rejected, insulted and humiliated, dishonoured and disgraced, tore down their self esteem, and murdered their soul.” for each of them the shaming “occurred on a scale so extreme, so bizarre, and so frequent that one cannot fail to see that the men who occupy the extreme end of the continuum of violent behaviour in adulthood occupied an equally extreme end of the continuum of violent child abuse earlier in life.” so they grew up and -“all violence being a person’s attempt to replace shame with self esteem” - they murdered people. … and when they were jailed, things only got worse - they were further humiliated because officers thought this was how to get them to obey, when it did the exact opposite and stimulated violence instead. (249)

jonah had a house in hollywood hills and a wife who loved him. he had enough self esteem to get him through. but i think that in front of the giant twitter screen he felt for an instant that same deadness that gillian’s prisoners had described. (250)

therapeutic communities in prisons

the word forever had been coming up a lot during my two years among the publicly shamed. jonah and justine and people like them were being told, “no. there is no door. there is no way back in. we don’t offer any forgiveness.” but we know that people are complicated and have a mixture of flaws and talents and sins. so why do we pretend that we don’t? (255)

This has been a book about people who really didn’t do very much wrong. justine and lindsey, certainly, were destroyed for nothing more than telling bad jokes. and while we were busy steadfastly refusing them forgiveness, jim was quietly arranging the salvation of someone who had committed a far more serious offence. it struck me that if reshaping would work for a maelstrom like raquel, if it would restore someone like her to health, then we need to think twice about raining down vengeance and anger as our default position. (260)

the sad thing was that lindsey had incurred the internet’s wrath because she was impudent and playful and foolhardy and outspoken. and now here she was, working with farukh to reduce herself to safe banalities - to cats and ice cream and top 40 chart music. we were creating a world where the smartest way to survive is to be bland. (266) [not sure if this is true, though i do think there may be a chilling effect/more calculated curating is encouraged]

“it’s the algorithm shifting things around and wondering what, from a mathematical standpoint, is the story that needs ob e told about this person.” (268)

“but there is a chilling of behaviour that goes along with virtual lynching. there is a life modification. … they have signs of PTSD. it’s like the stasi. we’re creating a culture where people feel constantly surveilled, where people are afraid to be themselves.” (268)

our own social media surveillance network (269)

of course, no prurient or censorious bureaucrat had intercepted justine sack’s private thoughts. justine had tweeted them herself, labouring under the misapprehension - the same one i laboured under for a while - that twitter was a safe place to tell the truth about yourself to strangers. that truth telling had really proven to be an idealistic experiment gone wrong. (270)

social media gives a voice to voiceless people - its egalitarianism is its greatest quality. (271)

“but its scary. after all that’s happened, what’s funny to me… i don’t want to go anywhere near the line, let alone cross it. so i’m constantly saying, ‘i don’t know farukh, what do you think?’” (272)

michael fertik: “the biggest lie is the internet is about you. we like to think of ourselves as people who have choice and taste and personalised content. but the internet isn’t about us. it’s about the companies that dominate the data flows of the internet.” (276) … google make many when anything happens online, even the bad stuff.

scott kelley, your speed signs, feedback loops, thomas goetz ‘harnessing the power of feedback loops’

adam curtis: echo chambers, “they got trapped in the system of feedback reinforcement. … feedback is an engineering principle, and all engineering is devoted to trying to keep the thing you are building stable.” (281)

“i suddenly feel with social media like i’m tiptoeing around an unpredictable, angry, unbalanced parent who might strike out at any moment … it’s horrible.” … we see ourselves as nonconformist, but i think all of this is creating a more conformist, conservative age. (282)

how twitter mutated from a place of unselfish conscious honesty into something more anxiety inducing

people he spoke to: luke robert mason, michael moynihan/jonah lehrer, justine sacco (twitter aids girl), judge ted poe, gustave lebon (research referenced), dave eshelman/zimbardo, adria richards, max mosley, mercedes haefer, princess donna dolore, brad blanton, andrew ferreira/alexis wright, mike daisley, lindsey stone, michael fertik, clive stafford smith, jim mcgreevey, james gilligan, scott kelley

[dragnews]

Victims of Japan

TOKYO (Reuters) – One day when Saburo Kita was 14, he was taken from an institution for troubled children to see a doctor. Despite protesting that his health was fine, he was ordered to strip, lie down on a table, and was given a local anesthetic.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

Then the surgery began.

He was left with a thick, v-shaped scar on his lower body and questions about what had happened. Months later, talking with a friend, he learned that he had been sterilized. So had two others from the same institution in Miyagi, northern Japan.

“There was no explanation, ever,” said Kita, now 75, who uses the pseudonym in media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family. “I was left with a body that couldn’t create children.”

But he did not realize until January that his surgery was part of a government program to prevent the birth of so-called “inferior descendants” that saw tens of thousands sterilized, often without their consent, under a law not revoked until 1996.

Most were physically or cognitively disabled. But others suffered from leprosy – curable, and now known as Hansen’s disease – mental illness or simply had behavioral problems. Kita had been sent to an institution for fighting at school.

Now the victims, many of whom were in their teens or younger when they were sterilized, are fighting back, demanding justice from a government they say violated their human rights. A mentally disabled woman in her 60s has sued for an apology and 11 million yen ($100,328) in compensation, and other suits may follow soon.

All could embarrass the government, which insists the surgeries were done legally, and Japan, where attitudes about the disabled still lag other advanced nations even as it prepares to host the Paralympic Games in 2020.

“Right after the war, rebuilding the country and its people was paramount, so in the name of building better citizens for the nation, the law came into effect,” said Keiko Toshimitsu, a bioethics researcher and head of an activist group supporting those who were forcibly sterilized. “It was to build a better Japan – along, of course, with prejudice against the disabled.

“Then in the 1960s and 1970s there was rapid economic growth so they needed people born who could keep the growth going.”

An official at the Health Ministry, who declined to be named due to the sensitivity of the issue, would not discuss the law or the lawsuits in detail.

“It was an operation that was carried out according to a law that was in force at the time, so we are contesting it with the stance that it is not a matter for compensation,” he said.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

EMBRACING DISCRIMINATION

Though the most notorious eugenics laws were imposed by Nazi Germany, Japan is not the only nation with similar programs in peacetime. Sweden sterilized 63,000 people under a 1935-1975 program, almost all women, in the name of racial purity.

Thirty-two U.S. states embraced eugenics at some point, with the number of sterilizations climbing after a 1927 Supreme Court decision upholding a Virginia law. In the majority opinion, Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes compared the state’s duty to sterilize a woman to the need to protect the public against smallpox with compulsory vaccinations.

But laws overseas, by and large, were revoked in the 1970s; Sweden apologized and paid compensation after media reports brought the problem to light in 1997. The U.S. states of North Carolina and Virginia have also offered compensation.

Japan’s “Eugenics Protection Law” came into effect in 1948 as it struggled with food shortages and rebuilding a ravaged nation.

Sterilizations peaked in the 1960s and 1970s. The last surgery under the law was carried out in 1993, and the measure was revoked three years later.

Of the estimated 25,000 people sterilized during this time, at least 16,500 did not give consent – unneeded if a eugenics board signed off on it after an often cursory review. Few records remain.

“It seems there were zealous doctors who took the law up systematically, promoting it as a truly noble way to save the nation,” said Koji Niisato, a lawyer overseeing the lawsuits.

Methods varied. Hysterectomies were recommended for disabled women in institutions on the pretext they couldn’t handle their menstruation. One woman born with cerebral palsy was subjected to high doses of radiation to her reproductive organs.

The reasons varied as well, in some cases going beyond the scope of the original law.

Slideshow (2 Images)

A woman now in her 70s known as Junko Iizuka in the Japanese media, who had limited schooling because of poverty, was given an intelligence test as a teenager and did badly. She was then diagnosed as “feeble-minded” and sterilized.

“When you look at lots of victims’ statements, none of these are disabilities that were inheritable,” said lawmaker Mizuho Fukushima, secretary-general of a multi-party lawmakers group working on the issue. “It was definitely due to prejudice, or poverty … an accumulation of discrimination and black marks.”

LEGAL FRAMEWORK

Fukushima hopes by next year to present a law proposing compensation for the victims, and lawyer Niisato expects more will come forward, emboldened by publicity around the court cases.

“The idea they were sterilized because they were disabled isn’t something anybody wants to bring up,” he said. “They were afraid that if they did, people would say ‘well, you’re disabled, it can’t be helped.’”

Though overt discrimination has fallen, attitudes toward the disabled lag those overseas, sometimes in harmful ways. In 2016, 19 people at a facility for the disabled were killed in their sleep by a man who had advocated euthanasia for the physically and mentally impaired.

With the Paralympics rapidly approaching, the government has doubled down on public education, advocating kindness and urging people to offer help to disabled people they may see.

But some consider that view just as alienating because it doesn’t recognize the right of disabled people to live life just like everyone else, said Ryoji Hoshika, an associate professor at Tokyo University.

“The image people have of the disabled is as if they’re not human – those who try really hard and have super-achievements, and those who can’t do anything at all,” added Hoshika, who himself is visually impaired, warning that the Paralympics could just reinforce this view by showcasing only the elite athletes.

“There still isn’t any really clear consensus within society on dealing with the disabled – and given this, hosting the Paralympics in a shallow way risks side-effects,” he said.

For Kita, who often looks at fellow train passengers and thinks his children might have been that age, anger remains strong.

“I just can’t stand the way the nation’s handled things. They sterilized me, then now they say ‘oh, we don’t know anything,’” he said, speaking to Reuters in his narrow, dark, Tokyo apartment.

“An apology is not enough. What I want to say is: give me back my life.”

Reporting by Elaine Lies; Editing by Gerry Doyle

The post Victims of Japan appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2HW4uGB via Today News

[newestbalance]

Victims of Japan

TOKYO (Reuters) – One day when Saburo Kita was 14, he was taken from an institution for troubled children to see a doctor. Despite protesting that his health was fine, he was ordered to strip, lie down on a table, and was given a local anesthetic.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

Then the surgery began.

He was left with a thick, v-shaped scar on his lower body and questions about what had happened. Months later, talking with a friend, he learned that he had been sterilized. So had two others from the same institution in Miyagi, northern Japan.

“There was no explanation, ever,” said Kita, now 75, who uses the pseudonym in media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family. “I was left with a body that couldn’t create children.”

But he did not realize until January that his surgery was part of a government program to prevent the birth of so-called “inferior descendants” that saw tens of thousands sterilized, often without their consent, under a law not revoked until 1996.

Most were physically or cognitively disabled. But others suffered from leprosy – curable, and now known as Hansen’s disease – mental illness or simply had behavioral problems. Kita had been sent to an institution for fighting at school.

Now the victims, many of whom were in their teens or younger when they were sterilized, are fighting back, demanding justice from a government they say violated their human rights. A mentally disabled woman in her 60s has sued for an apology and 11 million yen ($100,328) in compensation, and other suits may follow soon.

All could embarrass the government, which insists the surgeries were done legally, and Japan, where attitudes about the disabled still lag other advanced nations even as it prepares to host the Paralympic Games in 2020.

“Right after the war, rebuilding the country and its people was paramount, so in the name of building better citizens for the nation, the law came into effect,” said Keiko Toshimitsu, a bioethics researcher and head of an activist group supporting those who were forcibly sterilized. “It was to build a better Japan – along, of course, with prejudice against the disabled.

“Then in the 1960s and 1970s there was rapid economic growth so they needed people born who could keep the growth going.”

An official at the Health Ministry, who declined to be named due to the sensitivity of the issue, would not discuss the law or the lawsuits in detail.

“It was an operation that was carried out according to a law that was in force at the time, so we are contesting it with the stance that it is not a matter for compensation,” he said.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

EMBRACING DISCRIMINATION

Though the most notorious eugenics laws were imposed by Nazi Germany, Japan is not the only nation with similar programs in peacetime. Sweden sterilized 63,000 people under a 1935-1975 program, almost all women, in the name of racial purity.

Thirty-two U.S. states embraced eugenics at some point, with the number of sterilizations climbing after a 1927 Supreme Court decision upholding a Virginia law. In the majority opinion, Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes compared the state’s duty to sterilize a woman to the need to protect the public against smallpox with compulsory vaccinations.

But laws overseas, by and large, were revoked in the 1970s; Sweden apologized and paid compensation after media reports brought the problem to light in 1997. The U.S. states of North Carolina and Virginia have also offered compensation.

Japan’s “Eugenics Protection Law” came into effect in 1948 as it struggled with food shortages and rebuilding a ravaged nation.

Sterilizations peaked in the 1960s and 1970s. The last surgery under the law was carried out in 1993, and the measure was revoked three years later.

Of the estimated 25,000 people sterilized during this time, at least 16,500 did not give consent – unneeded if a eugenics board signed off on it after an often cursory review. Few records remain.

“It seems there were zealous doctors who took the law up systematically, promoting it as a truly noble way to save the nation,” said Koji Niisato, a lawyer overseeing the lawsuits.

Methods varied. Hysterectomies were recommended for disabled women in institutions on the pretext they couldn’t handle their menstruation. One woman born with cerebral palsy was subjected to high doses of radiation to her reproductive organs.

The reasons varied as well, in some cases going beyond the scope of the original law.

Slideshow (2 Images)

A woman now in her 70s known as Junko Iizuka in the Japanese media, who had limited schooling because of poverty, was given an intelligence test as a teenager and did badly. She was then diagnosed as “feeble-minded” and sterilized.

“When you look at lots of victims’ statements, none of these are disabilities that were inheritable,” said lawmaker Mizuho Fukushima, secretary-general of a multi-party lawmakers group working on the issue. “It was definitely due to prejudice, or poverty … an accumulation of discrimination and black marks.”

LEGAL FRAMEWORK

Fukushima hopes by next year to present a law proposing compensation for the victims, and lawyer Niisato expects more will come forward, emboldened by publicity around the court cases.

“The idea they were sterilized because they were disabled isn’t something anybody wants to bring up,” he said. “They were afraid that if they did, people would say ‘well, you’re disabled, it can’t be helped.’”

Though overt discrimination has fallen, attitudes toward the disabled lag those overseas, sometimes in harmful ways. In 2016, 19 people at a facility for the disabled were killed in their sleep by a man who had advocated euthanasia for the physically and mentally impaired.

With the Paralympics rapidly approaching, the government has doubled down on public education, advocating kindness and urging people to offer help to disabled people they may see.

But some consider that view just as alienating because it doesn’t recognize the right of disabled people to live life just like everyone else, said Ryoji Hoshika, an associate professor at Tokyo University.

“The image people have of the disabled is as if they’re not human – those who try really hard and have super-achievements, and those who can’t do anything at all,” added Hoshika, who himself is visually impaired, warning that the Paralympics could just reinforce this view by showcasing only the elite athletes.

“There still isn’t any really clear consensus within society on dealing with the disabled – and given this, hosting the Paralympics in a shallow way risks side-effects,” he said.

For Kita, who often looks at fellow train passengers and thinks his children might have been that age, anger remains strong.

“I just can’t stand the way the nation’s handled things. They sterilized me, then now they say ‘oh, we don’t know anything,’” he said, speaking to Reuters in his narrow, dark, Tokyo apartment.

“An apology is not enough. What I want to say is: give me back my life.”

Reporting by Elaine Lies; Editing by Gerry Doyle

The post Victims of Japan appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2HW4uGB via Everyday News

[cleopatrarps]

Victims of Japan

TOKYO (Reuters) – One day when Saburo Kita was 14, he was taken from an institution for troubled children to see a doctor. Despite protesting that his health was fine, he was ordered to strip, lie down on a table, and was given a local anesthetic.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

Then the surgery began.

He was left with a thick, v-shaped scar on his lower body and questions about what had happened. Months later, talking with a friend, he learned that he had been sterilized. So had two others from the same institution in Miyagi, northern Japan.

“There was no explanation, ever,” said Kita, now 75, who uses the pseudonym in media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family. “I was left with a body that couldn’t create children.”

But he did not realize until January that his surgery was part of a government program to prevent the birth of so-called “inferior descendants” that saw tens of thousands sterilized, often without their consent, under a law not revoked until 1996.

Most were physically or cognitively disabled. But others suffered from leprosy – curable, and now known as Hansen’s disease – mental illness or simply had behavioral problems. Kita had been sent to an institution for fighting at school.

Now the victims, many of whom were in their teens or younger when they were sterilized, are fighting back, demanding justice from a government they say violated their human rights. A mentally disabled woman in her 60s has sued for an apology and 11 million yen ($100,328) in compensation, and other suits may follow soon.

All could embarrass the government, which insists the surgeries were done legally, and Japan, where attitudes about the disabled still lag other advanced nations even as it prepares to host the Paralympic Games in 2020.

“Right after the war, rebuilding the country and its people was paramount, so in the name of building better citizens for the nation, the law came into effect,” said Keiko Toshimitsu, a bioethics researcher and head of an activist group supporting those who were forcibly sterilized. “It was to build a better Japan – along, of course, with prejudice against the disabled.

“Then in the 1960s and 1970s there was rapid economic growth so they needed people born who could keep the growth going.”

An official at the Health Ministry, who declined to be named due to the sensitivity of the issue, would not discuss the law or the lawsuits in detail.

“It was an operation that was carried out according to a law that was in force at the time, so we are contesting it with the stance that it is not a matter for compensation,” he said.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

EMBRACING DISCRIMINATION

Though the most notorious eugenics laws were imposed by Nazi Germany, Japan is not the only nation with similar programs in peacetime. Sweden sterilized 63,000 people under a 1935-1975 program, almost all women, in the name of racial purity.

Thirty-two U.S. states embraced eugenics at some point, with the number of sterilizations climbing after a 1927 Supreme Court decision upholding a Virginia law. In the majority opinion, Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes compared the state’s duty to sterilize a woman to the need to protect the public against smallpox with compulsory vaccinations.

But laws overseas, by and large, were revoked in the 1970s; Sweden apologized and paid compensation after media reports brought the problem to light in 1997. The U.S. states of North Carolina and Virginia have also offered compensation.

Japan’s “Eugenics Protection Law” came into effect in 1948 as it struggled with food shortages and rebuilding a ravaged nation.

Sterilizations peaked in the 1960s and 1970s. The last surgery under the law was carried out in 1993, and the measure was revoked three years later.

Of the estimated 25,000 people sterilized during this time, at least 16,500 did not give consent – unneeded if a eugenics board signed off on it after an often cursory review. Few records remain.

“It seems there were zealous doctors who took the law up systematically, promoting it as a truly noble way to save the nation,” said Koji Niisato, a lawyer overseeing the lawsuits.

Methods varied. Hysterectomies were recommended for disabled women in institutions on the pretext they couldn’t handle their menstruation. One woman born with cerebral palsy was subjected to high doses of radiation to her reproductive organs.

The reasons varied as well, in some cases going beyond the scope of the original law.

Slideshow (2 Images)

A woman now in her 70s known as Junko Iizuka in the Japanese media, who had limited schooling because of poverty, was given an intelligence test as a teenager and did badly. She was then diagnosed as “feeble-minded” and sterilized.

“When you look at lots of victims’ statements, none of these are disabilities that were inheritable,” said lawmaker Mizuho Fukushima, secretary-general of a multi-party lawmakers group working on the issue. “It was definitely due to prejudice, or poverty … an accumulation of discrimination and black marks.”

LEGAL FRAMEWORK

Fukushima hopes by next year to present a law proposing compensation for the victims, and lawyer Niisato expects more will come forward, emboldened by publicity around the court cases.

“The idea they were sterilized because they were disabled isn’t something anybody wants to bring up,” he said. “They were afraid that if they did, people would say ‘well, you’re disabled, it can’t be helped.’”

Though overt discrimination has fallen, attitudes toward the disabled lag those overseas, sometimes in harmful ways. In 2016, 19 people at a facility for the disabled were killed in their sleep by a man who had advocated euthanasia for the physically and mentally impaired.

With the Paralympics rapidly approaching, the government has doubled down on public education, advocating kindness and urging people to offer help to disabled people they may see.

But some consider that view just as alienating because it doesn’t recognize the right of disabled people to live life just like everyone else, said Ryoji Hoshika, an associate professor at Tokyo University.

“The image people have of the disabled is as if they’re not human – those who try really hard and have super-achievements, and those who can’t do anything at all,” added Hoshika, who himself is visually impaired, warning that the Paralympics could just reinforce this view by showcasing only the elite athletes.

“There still isn’t any really clear consensus within society on dealing with the disabled – and given this, hosting the Paralympics in a shallow way risks side-effects,” he said.

For Kita, who often looks at fellow train passengers and thinks his children might have been that age, anger remains strong.

“I just can’t stand the way the nation’s handled things. They sterilized me, then now they say ‘oh, we don’t know anything,’” he said, speaking to Reuters in his narrow, dark, Tokyo apartment.

“An apology is not enough. What I want to say is: give me back my life.”

Reporting by Elaine Lies; Editing by Gerry Doyle

The post Victims of Japan appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2HW4uGB via News of World

[dani-qrt]

Victims of Japan

TOKYO (Reuters) – One day when Saburo Kita was 14, he was taken from an institution for troubled children to see a doctor. Despite protesting that his health was fine, he was ordered to strip, lie down on a table, and was given a local anesthetic.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

Then the surgery began.

He was left with a thick, v-shaped scar on his lower body and questions about what had happened. Months later, talking with a friend, he learned that he had been sterilized. So had two others from the same institution in Miyagi, northern Japan.

“There was no explanation, ever,” said Kita, now 75, who uses the pseudonym in media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family. “I was left with a body that couldn’t create children.”

But he did not realize until January that his surgery was part of a government program to prevent the birth of so-called “inferior descendants” that saw tens of thousands sterilized, often without their consent, under a law not revoked until 1996.

Most were physically or cognitively disabled. But others suffered from leprosy – curable, and now known as Hansen’s disease – mental illness or simply had behavioral problems. Kita had been sent to an institution for fighting at school.

Now the victims, many of whom were in their teens or younger when they were sterilized, are fighting back, demanding justice from a government they say violated their human rights. A mentally disabled woman in her 60s has sued for an apology and 11 million yen ($100,328) in compensation, and other suits may follow soon.

All could embarrass the government, which insists the surgeries were done legally, and Japan, where attitudes about the disabled still lag other advanced nations even as it prepares to host the Paralympic Games in 2020.

“Right after the war, rebuilding the country and its people was paramount, so in the name of building better citizens for the nation, the law came into effect,” said Keiko Toshimitsu, a bioethics researcher and head of an activist group supporting those who were forcibly sterilized. “It was to build a better Japan – along, of course, with prejudice against the disabled.

“Then in the 1960s and 1970s there was rapid economic growth so they needed people born who could keep the growth going.”

An official at the Health Ministry, who declined to be named due to the sensitivity of the issue, would not discuss the law or the lawsuits in detail.

“It was an operation that was carried out according to a law that was in force at the time, so we are contesting it with the stance that it is not a matter for compensation,” he said.

A 75-year-old man, who goes by the name Saburo Kita in Japanese media to avoid questions from his late wife’s family, speaks during an interview with Reuters at his flat in Tokyo, Japan, April 22, 2018. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

EMBRACING DISCRIMINATION

Though the most notorious eugenics laws were imposed by Nazi Germany, Japan is not the only nation with similar programs in peacetime. Sweden sterilized 63,000 people under a 1935-1975 program, almost all women, in the name of racial purity.

Thirty-two U.S. states embraced eugenics at some point, with the number of sterilizations climbing after a 1927 Supreme Court decision upholding a Virginia law. In the majority opinion, Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes compared the state’s duty to sterilize a woman to the need to protect the public against smallpox with compulsory vaccinations.

But laws overseas, by and large, were revoked in the 1970s; Sweden apologized and paid compensation after media reports brought the problem to light in 1997. The U.S. states of North Carolina and Virginia have also offered compensation.

Japan’s “Eugenics Protection Law” came into effect in 1948 as it struggled with food shortages and rebuilding a ravaged nation.

Sterilizations peaked in the 1960s and 1970s. The last surgery under the law was carried out in 1993, and the measure was revoked three years later.

Of the estimated 25,000 people sterilized during this time, at least 16,500 did not give consent – unneeded if a eugenics board signed off on it after an often cursory review. Few records remain.

“It seems there were zealous doctors who took the law up systematically, promoting it as a truly noble way to save the nation,” said Koji Niisato, a lawyer overseeing the lawsuits.

Methods varied. Hysterectomies were recommended for disabled women in institutions on the pretext they couldn’t handle their menstruation. One woman born with cerebral palsy was subjected to high doses of radiation to her reproductive organs.

The reasons varied as well, in some cases going beyond the scope of the original law.

Slideshow (2 Images)

A woman now in her 70s known as Junko Iizuka in the Japanese media, who had limited schooling because of poverty, was given an intelligence test as a teenager and did badly. She was then diagnosed as “feeble-minded” and sterilized.

“When you look at lots of victims’ statements, none of these are disabilities that were inheritable,” said lawmaker Mizuho Fukushima, secretary-general of a multi-party lawmakers group working on the issue. “It was definitely due to prejudice, or poverty … an accumulation of discrimination and black marks.”

LEGAL FRAMEWORK

Fukushima hopes by next year to present a law proposing compensation for the victims, and lawyer Niisato expects more will come forward, emboldened by publicity around the court cases.

“The idea they were sterilized because they were disabled isn’t something anybody wants to bring up,” he said. “They were afraid that if they did, people would say ‘well, you’re disabled, it can’t be helped.’”

Though overt discrimination has fallen, attitudes toward the disabled lag those overseas, sometimes in harmful ways. In 2016, 19 people at a facility for the disabled were killed in their sleep by a man who had advocated euthanasia for the physically and mentally impaired.

With the Paralympics rapidly approaching, the government has doubled down on public education, advocating kindness and urging people to offer help to disabled people they may see.

But some consider that view just as alienating because it doesn’t recognize the right of disabled people to live life just like everyone else, said Ryoji Hoshika, an associate professor at Tokyo University.

“The image people have of the disabled is as if they’re not human – those who try really hard and have super-achievements, and those who can’t do anything at all,” added Hoshika, who himself is visually impaired, warning that the Paralympics could just reinforce this view by showcasing only the elite athletes.

“There still isn’t any really clear consensus within society on dealing with the disabled – and given this, hosting the Paralympics in a shallow way risks side-effects,” he said.

For Kita, who often looks at fellow train passengers and thinks his children might have been that age, anger remains strong.

“I just can’t stand the way the nation’s handled things. They sterilized me, then now they say ‘oh, we don’t know anything,’” he said, speaking to Reuters in his narrow, dark, Tokyo apartment.

“An apology is not enough. What I want to say is: give me back my life.”

Reporting by Elaine Lies; Editing by Gerry Doyle

The post Victims of Japan appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2HW4uGB via Online News