#genuinely can't fucking take it anymore

[poolboyservice]

idk how to kindly word this but I think this is one of my last days. I genuinely think this is the end of the line for me

I love y'all, ygs are amazing people, but I just can't take it anymore

If I live to Friday, or past it, fucking great, ignore this post. But if not, then just know it's none of ygs' fault, nor is this something you couldn't prevented. It was going to happen one day but I didn't think I'd last this long

I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow or midnight I'll basically just dump all my info so people remember me

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

When you start writing a post about your new Spidersona and it somehow becomes an essay on psychedelic indigenous plant medicine, the spirits they contain and the basics of Andean spiritual ceremony-

Y'all I sincerely apologize

[crookedghosts]

I'm not trying to cause any anxiety here but I was kind of there when v*ltron ended and everyone collectively decided to become tdp stans instead and if we don't get s8-10 like.. what's the plan? I'm not a show-watcher really but I loved getting my yearly season of animated fantasy to gobble up in a week and think about for a month and sporadically think about during the year until it was time to do it all over again

[sollucets]

guys i am trying Really hard not to have public opinions about of this morning... pray for me

[frankensteinmutual]

so my crush has officially left me on read after I gave up trying not to text her again. I think I need to drown myself in the lake

[caloboletus-rubripes]

hey how do you forgive yourself for doing something something you feel is irrevocably embarrassing even though you know you can do anything you want forever

like how do you unlearn that shame

[nicolegendary]

the dash is thinking about brat tamer eddie so now I am thinking about brat tamer eddie

[yesplsnothankyou]

I only come on tumblr when I'm at the very end of my rope and barely hanging on by a quickly disintegrating thread and I don't know what that tells you about me

[chuu-huahua]

hi guys have some RANDOM SOUKOKU HEADCANNONS because i’m procrastinating my holiday homework lol (like i genuinely can’t bring myself to do it so i’ll just uh, cram it all before school actually starts)

contrary to popular belief, dazai is actually the good cook between the two of them :) chuuya burned down the entire kitchen once when he tried to make rice, so dazai removed his kitchen-entering privileges. dazai can actually cook well, he just enjoys seeing the shocked/scared faces of the people he serves his food to when he makes it nasty

dazai replaced their couch with a foldable couch bed because whenever he makes chuuya mad, he gets sent to sleep on the couch, and their old one was uncomfortable and not big enough for his lanky ass legs

chuuya once thought dazai was a burglar when he was drunk and smacked him in the face with a frying pan, which broke dazai’s nose. he (chuuya) cried while apologising when he sobered up

they have movie marathon nights, except they speedrun movies separately and fight to see how many more movies they can watch than the other before the clock strikes 7:00am and dazai has to go to work

when dazai did the “that’s what i love about you!” thing to chuuya when they were younger, chuuya actually wanted to punch dazai because he was so flustered. he actually went back to his room to punch his pillow and scream into it about how much he liked dazai back and how he messed up his response

chuuya likes it when dazai drives, because it’s so adrenaline inducing and it’s funny to see the looks on civilian’s faces when they speed pass them and almost crash into the lamp post

dazai’s home wallpaper is a picture of chuuya drooling in his sleep, and chuuya’s one is of dazai screaming and running away from a dog

i feel like they would both be really good at styling hair and doing makeup from kouyou’s lessons and all the infiltration missions they have to go on... although, i can picture chuuya trying to pry a bite of lipstick out of dazai’s mouth because he read the contents and tried to commit suicide by eating it lol

they have a built in wine cellar in their house (inspo from my aunt’s house lol. she has a fucking wine cellar in there stock full of expensive alcohol and there’s even a catalogue) and it’s super super cold. they have two silly fuzzy pairs of slippers, one is crab designed and the other is slug designed lol

yes ig that’s all for now :D

[honey-skulls]

HUGE VENT

I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen

My routine these last two weeeks has been:

-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep

-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw

-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am

I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍

Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore

Silence is actually worse than loud rooms

It's driving me insane

It's so loud

[ffb6c1lover]

social interaction

[parachuteinfantry]

26 is still young my dear <3 you have time

i don't know if the person who sent this will ever see it; it's over a year old at this point. i got this message presumably in response to some fear i had over turning 26 last year, and i've kept it in my inbox so i could look at it whenever i was anxious about my life going too fast. you're right, 26 is still very young. i'm 27 now, so i'm letting this message go, but i will still think of it often. and thank you. i needed it. <3

[pensiveant]

Sorry @ my 5 and a half mutuals/followers that you have to witness my latest mental breakdown but the world is falling apart the center cannot hold etc etc you know how it is

[nexus-nebulae]

brrrrr (/pos)

[jameszmaguire]

y'know, sometimes you just gotta look at the average age of people in a certain fandom and go 'good for them, i'm too old to interact with media in the way that they're doing' and just nope out

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Bsjdhdi oh my god Eddie being like "FUCK IT" and grounding Roxy in Meteors for the first time. She just pauses, mid-crime committing, turns to look at him and just says "I'm what?"

He just said it. He didn't think too far into it at the time but once she's been arguing with him on what the fuck he's talking about for a bit, (he can't ground her! How dare he!) and she's eventually sent back to her room to cool off, he realises how fucking hard it's gonna be to actually ground her. She's had nothing her entire life! How do you meaningfully use taking something away on a (kind of) kid when said kid is only just starting to get used to having something to take away? He doesn't wanna impose any kind of old restrictions that she's still learning she doesn't have anymore! He wants her to feel like she does have freedoms, that she does deserve them and that nobody is going to take them away ever again! And taking them away again so soon, even if just temporarily, wouldn't exactly help!

Like!!! He can't just stop her from going out on the grass by the tower block to play with Cassie!!! She's lived most of her life never knowing what grass looks like or what the sunshine feels like!!! It'd be cruel to deny her of that again, even for just a day!!!! He can't take away any of the toy cars she's been excitedly digging through cereal boxes for either, cause she's only just grasped the idea that something other than her keytar can belong to her (nevermind does) and that she doesn't have to give her stuff away to nearby kids!!! Limiting her video games??? She's lived her life lacking the dexterity and strength control to play any of the arcade games she's been surrounded by constantly!!! He can't do that to her again!!!

What's left?? Deny her of her favourite cookies when Fazbear denied her adequate food and time to actually eat it during her short time in their custody as a biological being??? Stop her from going to the Plex that she's pretty much one hundred percent emotionally reliant on going to pretty much every single day??? Don't give her the pocket money she's only just learned she can use to get things she wants??? That she earns herself on the paper round she and Cassie share???

How is he supposed to follow through with this and actually ground her now that he's said he's going to? He can't bare to give her a repeat of what she's already had when she's supposed to be safe from all of that!! But if he goes back on it, he's just telling her she can get away with everything and never face the consequences of her actions. Sometimes she just wants to be a troublemaker and he feels it's good progress that she feels she has that choice, but it's his job as her guardian to somehow teach her about consequences to being a little shit and a half, he can't just let her get away with it! Especially when Cassie doesn't! It wouldn't be fair!

Eddie sat at the table agonising over what to do for ages, eventually coming up with a possible solution. The next morning, when Roxy is about to rush off to the Plex like always, she stops in the hallway. Eddie's just sat there, on a chair, against the front door, reading the paper like this is perfectly normal. She stares at him for a sec and then asks what he's doing. He explains that he promised a while ago that he wouldn't mess her around and that he'd always keep his word, which unfortunately for her, means he wasn't joking when he said she's grounded.

"What do you mean I'm grounded?! Are you just gonna sit here all day?!" Haha of course he's not gonna do that! He promised he would never stand in the way of her going home to the Plex! It would be wrong of him to do so and he can accept that! But she is still grounded...

So he's just gonna sit here for an hour and slow her down instead. If she can get through the door? Well, she earned it so good job! But otherwise? She's gonna have to wait.

Listen, she is not fucking happy. How dare he!! She'll just make him move!! He didn't say she couldn't do that so it's fair game!!

This does NOT go to plan. Eddie planned for this. His chair has been weighted with every heavy item he could cram into the bottom of it. He's hidden the key to the door in his pocket so even if she does move him on the weighted chair, she'll still have to get the key off him, which he knows she's more than capable of doing, but also knows she wouldn't think he'd have it for a good ten minutes at least. And the deadbolt at the top of the door is locked and she can't reach it unless she gets something else to stand on.

Roxy tries every trick in the book but there's fucking tungsten cubes in this chair man, she's strong as hell but that chair's not budging. How did he even move this here?! She's so frustrated with it, she's tried pushing it, pulling it, biting it, tying rope to it and pulling on that with her teeth like tug of war, getting Cassie to help, scratching at it, getting in the tiny gap between it and the door, and finally, whining with the sad puppy dog eyes as she sadly nuzzles him and tries her damn hardest to look like she's going to cry. He doesn't budge. At all.

He and Cassie are kind of enjoying this ngl. Cassie had originally been annoyed at this plan because, well, she would have had something confiscated or not been allowed out to play with Roxy later. It didn't seem fair that Roxy wouldn't get the same punishment, but nah she gets it's now. Roxy's too impatient for this not to work lmao

She's so frustrated and annoyed with it, complaining about how unfair it is while Eddie just sits there, cool as anything, and patiently explains again that it's just until the hour long timer runs out. Literally as he's automatically started reassuring her that he's not preventing her from going anywhere, just slowing her down, she suddenly yells really loudly, then shouts to Cassie at the other end of the hall that her dad sucks, dramatically falling backwards on the floor to sit there and sulk about it.

She's got a whole week of this ahead of her and she's so fucking mad about it. She's taken to just seeing how much of her annoying the shit out of him can he take before he caves and gives up. She started small by flicking elastic bands at him, hitting him with a pillow and throwing a few eggs at him. By the end of the week with him still not budging on this, she threw a bucket of paint on him, then the bucket at him in sheer frustration. This is after her master ice water plan failed along with several contraptions she came up with to move the damn chair. She's taken this as a challenge and she's throwing everything at him, but he's just not fucking budging!!

She has until the end of the hour on the last day to successfully move him and she tries everything, right up to the very last second. The timer goes off. The grounding is over. She screams in frustration, she's genuinely devastated she's lost this battle. She can't stand it! She's free to go again, and just like every other day of this, she rockets away to the Plex again to take her anger out on random shit over there.

When she's cooled down and she's back at the flat several hours later, they have to have a long chat about it. She ends up with one more day of this because of the absurd lengths she was going to all week, so she spends half of it sulking in her room and the other half whining all sad and mopey Eddie won't let her out just a little bit early, come ooonnn Eddiiieeee it's just twenty minutes it's basically nothing, pleeeaaassseee let her out now please please please she'll never dunk him in ice water ever again she pinky promises so pleeeaaasssseeee-

This man is like steel. Never in all her life has she known someone so unwilling to cave to her. Fazbear Entertainment were awful, but she knew she could make them cave if she didn't let them break her. This guy though? Not even wasting any energy trying to break her. He's just fucking sat there. He's not hurting her, he's not taking anything away from her, he's not threatening to scrap her, he's just sitting there. She can do whatever she wants, she just has to wait sixty minutes first. Not even a day, it's just one singular hour, that she could easily fill with something else if she so chose too, but she's too fucking committed now. And that was the god damn plan.

The consequences of being an asshole are that she's now actively choosing to throw an hour away on this every single day for no reason. Her efforts even mean she ends up adding to that hour in clean up. She's caught by her own hubris. By her own stubbornness. The sunk cost fallacy has claimed another victim. She's gonna win eventually, it's just a matter of when.