#genuinely confused. 'who................................... do they want my father........................................ guess not... lol

[keeps-ache]

just remembered that one time i got last-named on the internet and i my brain broke for like 15 seconds while i tried to figure out who they were trying to summon with 'Ache'

[alleyskywalker]

I finally got to writing down my thoughts/feelings/notes/reactions on S2E1 of HOTD. Under cut because spoilers.

Thie episode – but really just this show – had pacing issues, which was one of its biggest problems, very reminiscent of what entirely killed of the seeds of good or at least decent plot points in GoT S8. IDK what genius decided to cut the number of eps to 8 – or why, given that this show is very popular – but then they had this issue somewhat last season too. We are also starting to see how recklessly cutting characters comes back to bite you in the ass, at it’s just the start here.

With the episode/season paced as it is, there was no time to spend on Jace’s diplomatic endeavors. Were they strictly necessary? No, I guess, but they could have been…interesting? And helped him grow/develop/showcase to the audience as a character. Like, I actually want Jace to be a character this season, yk?

So given that, as much as I am sad that they cut my girl Sara Snow, I can’t be too mad about it because they just kinda…cut all of it for the most part.

The North intro was kinda funny tho. For a second I was so confused because I was like “is the KIT narrating this?” Cregan is very Northy-North lol. Is that sword Ice? “You, at least, have the mercy not to threaten me with your dragon.” – lol, I’m glad Cregan got this little snipe in at Jace for his Targ revisionism. Like, yea, sure “treated” aha. Also, I liked the little Decimation reference, complete with the white/black stones.

The Daemon and Rhaenys scene was good. I like that she takes no shit from his ass. Also liked her little monologue about how hearing of Laena’s death made her go into denial and she couldn’t start grieving until she actually saw her body. It feels very realistic.

This is not what I ever envisioned Alyn to look like lmao. He feels kinda too old? But on the other hand, I guess it maybe makes sense if he’s meant to be Corly’s son. Another question though: why are we getting introduced to him and not Addam first, given who the dragonrider will be? Are they…for some reason…merging the two brothers but keeping Alyn of the two???

AEGON this ep/season! Wow, this show is truly bipolar. First, they character assassinate him in S1 and now he’s so…idk, likeable isn’t really the word. But, compounded by TGC’s charm, he really, really has the potential to be a kind of sympathetic or at least fascinating character here. Excited to see this develop.

Loved seeing him as a father. Really, we needed more interaction between Aegon, Heleana and the twins, but you know. Pacing issues. The council scene with  Jaehaerys was adorable – that Aegon cares to bring his son into council, even if he’s a bit young for it now, but you can really see him trying to be the father he never got to have in Viserys. And you can see how much he adores this kid.

Really, Aegon, for all his impatience and lack of true competence is so clearly trying. He’s impatient to go to war, but brashness of youth of course, plus it’s not like Aemond is not chomping at the bit as well. But Aegon can be restrained (for now) and does listen to his councilors. You can say that’s a sign of his weak will, and yea in part it probably is, but it’s not a terrible trait really? For a young, inexperienced king to listen to more seasoned counsel.

AND THE PETITIONS SCENE. He genuinely wants to be a good king to the smallfolk, acknowledges them as a necessary backbone. No, he has no idea what he’s doing, but really who’s fault was that? (Looking at you, Vizzy.) It was a great bit of comic relief, especially with TGC’s acting, but also just a great portrayal of what an idealistic but really inexperienced, naïve, and not naturally-suited young king might be like. “He came all this way.” Awww. He tried lol.

Aegon and his buddies! I love seeing him have friends. Will be interested if they play any more significant roles (like during the war) than just background chatter. The banter was cute. Very dumbass teenage boys vibes.

Dalton Greyjoy mention!

Fuck Larys. That’s all I’m gonna say on that.

Aegon and Helaena’s conversation njglgjls. He really has not way how to communicate with her and she doesn’t really know how to convey her thoughts/feelings in general. But of course she’s afraid, poor girl :( But as estranged/kinda awkward their relationship is it doesn’t seem…terrible, yk?

The Alicent and Otta scene was nice. It felt like they found some understanding and a way to work together. But I do get the sense that yea, Otto is not completely satisfied with it (maybe Alicent’s definition of “victory” seemed lacking to him, which he’s not…entirely wrong there).

Luke’s funeral montage was very touching – the music was gorgeous. (I can only hope they allow Jae the same respect next ep…) Speaking of that montage, ahhhh Alicent in the sept praying for the dead… The fact this girl prays for Vizzy ffs. And also Luke. She recognizes that he was just a teenager and even though it pains her, she affords him his respect. As Criston says, “she has a gentle heart.”

Criston and Aemond’s conversation was so great on several levels!

First, of course, Aemond and his father-that-stepped-up making battle plans was great! They really do just have such a great camaraderie and dynamic of trust. Aemond believes in Criston’s excellence; they trust each other with secretive plans and vulnerable conversation. Loved the bit of Criston putting his hand on Aemond’s shoulder briefly before leaving the room.

The “that makes her a fool” line actually comes across better in context than it did in the tailer. (Although, still, who calls their mother by her name??) For one, Aemond’s frustration is understandable, he feels misunderstood and unfairly so (given that Alicent and the small council did start this whole thing, as he points out) but also he’s probably hurt, given his history with Luke. Remember how he had wanted to make a present of Luke’s eye to Alicent? He thought she was on the same page with him on this and she’s…not. Second, Aemond actually doesn’t realize this is what might be going on with Alicent – he seems kind of surprised after Criston’s explanation, the way that line is delivered. He’s having his realization out loud but he’s also not had time to digest it yet.

Ok SO I am in no way one of those weirdos who thinks that Alicent and Criston’s relationship is all about Rhaenyra (lol). BUT she is a point of common trauma for them. What Criston describes – Rhaenyra being a “cunning spider” and having an emotional influence over Alicent and Alicent capitulating to her because of her “gentle heart” is, yes, a description of Alicent, but it’s also a description of his own relationship with Rhaenyra, at least how it had felt from his POV. He understands Alicent’s feelings here so well and can empathize with her and defend her to Aemond because he loves her, yes, but also because he’s been there too.

OK, now ALICOLE.

I mean…Am I glad it’s canon? Well, yea, I’ve been shipping it super hard. Do they deserve to have consensual sex that brings them joy? Yes! Do I think it’s “hypocrisy”? Nope, lol, not matter now much TB screech that it is, it just isn’t. I’m pretty sure I’ve rebloged posts explaining why not.

That all said…man did they not handle this well, or at least certainly not in the best, most compelling way they could have. Now, I understand that my love for asexual/courtly love romance is not something most people share, so this relationship was going get physical if it was to be canon at all. Also, this show isn’t really the right genre for a drawn out slow burn romance, necessarily. But. It IS quite a big leap to suddenly go from “implied” and “romantic tension” to…fucking on a regular basis, just because Vizzy has finally kicked the bucket. Especially with these two characters.

Now, Alicent, I can get. She’s a widow, her marital vows no longer bind her. She has also completed her duty as a wife, mother and queen (re: providing heirs). Social interest in her private life is as low as it could ever be for a woman in that society. (So, not low enough really lol but historically, widows had a lot of freedom, compared to unmarried girls and wives.) But Criston? How does this work for him? His vows are still in place and he had been so heartbroken about having broken them the first time. I mean, yes, this is a very different situation and relationship. He’s older, he’s already broken those vows once so it’s like…how much he got to lose there? He can’t go back ever to NOT being an oathbreaker. But I really would have wanted to see some more set up. We should have seen them fight their irresistible pull toward each other, until they finally broke.

I did love her putting the cloak back on him afterward. A nice little anti-parallel to how he takes it off during the sex scene with Rhaenyra.

There really, really was no need to have Helaena walk in on them having sex after B&C. There had to be better ways to establish that this was a regular thing for them now and that the whole “we can’t do this again” is just Alicent/them being in denial. A way that didn’t take away from a moment that is/was supposed to be so horrific and impactful.

I do love the contrast of Alicent and Viserys always doing it missionary style and now with Criston she’s on top!

Blood & Cheese. Oh god. I have spent the last few days so angry about this. I’ve rebloged do many posts about this that I’m not sure I want to spend to much time on it. It’s just depressing at this point. But I will say a couple of things:

Helaena’s reaction does make sense to me. I’ve seen a lot of people, including TG people, saying that it was bad, and she should have been more frantic. But, frankly, she did seem pretty panicked and frantic to me. It’s just this Helaena does not emote/externalize much. At some point it seems like she almost dissociates from the situation. It’s understandable that she picks up her daughter and runs – she can’t save her son but while the assassins are distracted, of course she takes the chance to try to save her daughter. Even the necklace thing kind of makes sense. In the books, she asks them to kill her in part because she can’t stand to make the awful choice between her two boys – she’s rather die than choose. But here she hears them talk about her being a son; when they reject her necklace they also repeat how “that’s not a son.” Only a son will do, so offering her life is pointless, but trying to outbid the person who hired them might not be.

 The people (TB, lbr) shrieking about how this was Alicent and Criston’s fault are just willfully dense. If Alicent wasn’t having sex, she might have been sleeping or reading in her room or preying. There is literally nothing that implies that she would have been with Helaena if she wasn’t having sex, ffs. Also, Criston is not the only fucking kingsguard or guard. Wtf were there like no other guards idk. That’s just a plot hole/devise that looks ridiculous. But nonetheless, he 1) isn’t on duty 24/7, that’s unrealistic, and 2) is Alicent’s sworn shield, so he wouldn’t have been guarding Helaena or the kids anyway.

This is where we see that cutting Maelor was a BAD IDEA. It’s going to potentially create even more problems down the line. Who would have thought that cutting characters left and right might be an issue? /s It really diminishes the horror of Helaen’s situation and sets up this kind of unrealistic replacement choice which makes no sense because like…why would they even need her to tell them which one is the boy? It’s not that hard to feel the kids up and see which one has the right genitals, yk? I’ve seen people try to do some interesting analysis for how this scene is Thematically Relevant but nah. That’s just cope the way I used to cope with things in GoT that went wrong in the last seasons by doing metal gymnastics to try to spin them in a more palatable way for me.

But even if they fucked up on the foresight and found themselves with a situation where they needed to play this without Maelor…They could have still tried harder. For example: framing it less from the assassins’ POV and more from Helena’s, having the scene be longer, maybe in these circumstances have her try to offer her life/emote more like in the book, have Alicent actually be present too, have the rape threat against Jaehaera, have Daemon actually order Jae’s murder or at fucking least have him say “a son for a son” on screen because you KNOW the rabid part of this fanbase will act willfully blind and dumb to pretend he’s not at fault. I really think it’s that last one that makes me the most angry in the end, as the murder of a toddler is awful and horrific even without the Sophie’s choice.

And to piggy-back off that last, it’s the diminishing of the horror for TG and the whitewashing of TB as much as possible that gets to me the most, I think. They made this horrific, impactful event almost a par for the course (for the GoT/ASOIAF universe) sort of thing and with as little responsibility and plausible deniability given to TB as they could. The blatant bias (that they then have the audacity to pretend isn’t there) is infuriating.

In conclusion: there were plenty of nice things, but the disappointments really overshadowed them.

[ramenrescue]

i know your main thing is ousa/usao and oripa but i was wondering how you felt about yuuo? do you think that the problem with them was that ogata wanted yuusaku to choose him over anything else (their father) which by extension meant that yuusaku had to accept his philosophies and (imagined) defectives or was it simply that ogata wanted the pure version of him to be secretly the same as him, proving himself correct? (or a third thing, i would love to hear your thoughts about them regardless)

I think both reasons you listed here for Ogata killing Yusaku are valid -- I don't think it's one or the other. Yes I agree. I agree with both (lol).

Thoughts, thoughts... welp, I still haven't quite wrapped my head around Ch. 310 when Ogata says "Yusaku was the only one who loved me". So I'll riff on about that even though that's off-topic -- oops!

"Yusaku was the only one who loved me" made me confused when I first saw it-- because one could argue that he received love from his mom at one point, his grandparents, Asirpa. The list is short but not completely empty... so *maybe* Ogata's 'real' definition of 'love' is for someone to 1) understand who he truly is (a "normal guy") and 2) genuinely, and unconditionally, show affection.

So like Usami fulfills 1) -- he can read Ogata like a BOOK -- but unfortunately he doesn't actually LIKE this part of Ogata and instead chastises him for being a weakling.

Asirpa, well, she SORT OF fulfills 2), she likes Ogata, but conditionally, when he's on their side. Also because Ogata lies too much to her for her to really understand who he is, doesn't quite fulfill 1).

His mom, well, she almost fulfills 2) but she kind of loves Ogata as an extension of Mr. Hanazawa, telling him to follow in his father's footsteps and all that, so her love for him might be more on the conditional side.

So I SUPPOSE Yusaku is the only one to fulfill both 1) and 2), in that he 1) saw through Ogata's edgelord-ass facade and explicitly told him "what the fuck are you talking about, literally everyone feels guilt, even yourself, because you are just a normal guy" and 2) he just genuinely loves Ogata, hugging him and crying for him, even after Ogata clues him in on his fucked up philosophy, even after Ogata tries to persuade him to kill a POW, even after Ogata tries to trick him into losing his virginity.

What's really tragic about this whole thing is that he had this realization that Yusaku genuinely LOVED HIM mere seconds before he took himself out ... AFTER he killed Yusaku for the reasons you mentioned in your ask... :'( like bro was looking for unconditional love the whole time and IT WAS RIGHT THERE...AND HE MURDERED IT.

I did answer in another ask that Ogata was agnostic about whether "attention" comes from a positive or negative place -- and I wonder if maybe his attention-seeking behavior is just a quick dopaminergic fix and what he was really looking for was for someone to truly "see" him and love him for it. Wehh.

Edit: I just realized after I posted this that yes, I guess it was sort of on topic -- because one last possible reason why Ogata could have killed Yusaku is that he was OVERWHELMED BY LOVE. and he literally was like ahh

^relevant tweet. I posted this as a joke, but honestly, kinda true... the agape from Yusaku shone unto him ... and he was TERRIFIED...

[chynandri]

thoughts on code:realize so far. i really love the found family/friendship in this game. it doesn't feel like these guys are all your love interests but genuine friends who are written to show so much consideration toward mc. and mc has a pretty active role in the story. overall, i feel a good sense of equality between mc and the guys. I chose van helsing’s route first (I have some sort of accidental talent for choosing the most intense characters first lmao)

while i feel the pacing is a bit slow to actually get On to a guy's route, i can appreciate that they wanted to properly flesh out the story and each character to you and how they relate to mc. it's more of a slow burn with the aim of natural relationship progression i think.

van helsing's route (junichi suwabe <3) definitely made me cry a few times lol. van's life is... utterly miserable!! lol there really is a very thin thread between him living and just killing himself cuz god I WOULD if i had to do all the horrible things he did. but i think what this route does well is highlight the cruelty and immorality of the british royal government behind its veneer of sophistication and elegance which is - not too far off from reality. delacroix II is not usually the kind of character i like but, perhaps it's because aventurine is recent in my mind you can't help but feel so bad for the 'last of my kind' characters. they really got across how this is a deeply traumatized child trying to preserve what remains of his people, and a similarly traumatized adult who was forced to commit a massacre of that child's race and lost his own family too. god. they're both victims of the government and their only reason to live is for revenge otherwise there's nothing left... except for each other, and their new found family.

i didn't expect code:realize to get so dark but, this is the best part about otome games so far. the unexpected themes and depth is what i'm here for

But… the reveal that aleister was orchestrating all of van’s misery does kinda detract from possible commentary. He’s just some really messed up guy, also traumatized which probably broke him but like in all the wrong ways. I guess he too is a victim but it’s never really explained? First he said he killed his own family after the massacre, then he cites what sounds like an earlier incident of his family dying as what made him love despair? I’m a bit confused here. While it did add even higher stakes and angst, the lack of explicit explanation/logic for aleister being the twist villain does make the story weaker to me imo.

So in the end I’m not sure how well this sensitive topic is handled? Though van’s frustrating personality and trauma seems realistic even if it makes mc and van’s interactions a bit repetitive. And to me, within the story, it feels fair and most constructive that van lives on to atone for what he did by directly helping the vampire-human relations. And I think Delacroix’s conflicting feelings of wanting him to both die and live is understandable. Considering the vampire race are peaceful in this game, that seems in line with the ideals his father probably upheld.

I’m going on impey’s route now bc the types of characters that appeal to me truly are on two ends of a intensity spectrum lol. Silly guy or extreme suffering guy I like them all. But van’s route being overall so compelling and relevant to mc I do miss him a lot already lol 😔

[purpleandstarlight]

@hateweasel Another one!

-Me to my friend: Cameron and DaffyDuck should get together, at least then they'd stop annoying other people.

Me to my friend like 3 minutes later: ALOIS JUST READ MY MIND-

-End chapter 296: *totally wholesome cielois moment*

Dan, beginning of chapter 297: I bet they're fucking right now.

(DAN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO UP IN THEIR BUSINESS?? GET A LIFE 😭

It was hilarious to me back then that he just randomly thought of this while trying to sleep but it's even funnier to me now when I remember that later on in the story Alois confirms to DaffyDuck that they were, indeed, fucking. Does Dan have a radar or smth???)

-Me: Sometimes the author reminds us that all of the 7 but Alois and Ciel are mortals and they can and will die at some point and Alois and Ciel will just have to move on without them. Wich...It makes me sad every time. I don't want these reminders-

-Me, talking about that one demon girl I could never stand (the one Audrey and then a train killed): So this demon tried to get with Ciel...wich- she obviously had no chance, because she wasn't blonde...

-Speaking of, remember when she tried to get with Ciel saying crap that sums up in "[Alois] is traumatized so he's obviously not someone you could/should love"? You probably don't, but I usually do. It always makes me extremely angry lmao

-Speaking of me being angry - remember those girls saying "Oh but boys can't be [I won't say it but you get it]"? I was also about to throw hands at that.

-So a chapter was named "La storia della demone famiglia" and I was confused for a second because I thought it was a bad Italian translation of the page (Sometimes Google translates sites randomly and you gotta set it back to the original lenguage manually) but then I saw only the chapter title wasn't in english and just moved on. I guess it was a more "ancient/classy" way of saying "of the demon family" that i dont know of ? Since the most usual way of saying it would normally be "della famiglia demone"

-Me at some point about Daniel (im genuinely using copy-paste on this): Can't believe I actually thought this man was straight

-I genuinely was really scared since Bailey said he wouldn't be working in the police anymore that the person in his place would be some corrupted jerk, but then I arrived a lot of chapters later to him saying the person taking his place was his son so I calmed down. Fact is - as someone who is a lot further than that now, I actually dont really like Bailery Junior? He's not corrupted, but I wasn't too fond of him and then I disliked how he treated Alois? Sorry he lost his hand though. Hope his father's not too angry at Alois. IS Gabriel angry at Alois?? Or does he understand the situation they were in?

-Fun fact: for a long time, I only called Integra "Hellsing" because I couldn't really remember her name? Then finally i realized it would be more comfortable to call her differently than the organization to my friend. So I just started...I think around when Ciel starts calling her that as well? Lol

-DLTD: Warwick Academy; Yes, I'm sure you're more than well aware by now about this fine school by now.

Me, literally at chapter 319: You don't say?

[thetentaclecommander]

🥺🎢🎶🤩🤲 for the ask game, if you're still doing it! :3

Ah, it's never too late to send me ask questions! -Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels? I adore building out the complicated feelings between Nemesis and Jill. A common interaction is where their minds do this 'mind bleed' between the two where their thoughts blend in this trippy way that reveals them at both their most vulnerable and their deeper thoughts, usually in mid-argument. Every time I do this it feels like a gut punch. I love it where you aren't certain who is speaking anymore, and how because of this thoughts that they wouldn't address normally with each other are forced to be. For example: Jill remembered punching him, screaming at him in her pain, and he sat palms up and looked downwards please let me…let me sleep…please don’t steal my words, you monster! please let me…let me sleep…please, Father, we can’t if we kneel hard enough, will you, will it end This little bit shows the way their thoughts, memories and fears blend with her recalling the first night where she broke down hitting him them sleeping with him, to his own traumatized memory bubbling, her confused thinking he was making her remember a bad thing he did to her to then realize he was referring to himself packing so much in so little. It's like writing little nuggets of character/lore building and pain that at times is soul crushing to me (which tells me I did it right). -Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride? I'd say my main one On a Devil's Wings is because you get a complete deconstruction of the whole Devil's Saga storyline, with both Jill and Nemesis deconstructed as characters, their motivations and internal selves broken down revealing so much unchecked baggage both from themselves and towards each other.

You also get: 4+ overlapping storylines including backstory conspiracies involving the BSAA, Umbrella and society at large explanation on what makes up a NE-T Tyrant biologically (and Sia) filling RE3/5 plot holes Ada and Carlos just being hot Zeus. Just Zeus. A lot of 4th wall riding/surrealism A situation happens at a rave. I am not kidding.

It's my most ambitious story ever and is a genuine novel in how dense it is plotwise.

-Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately? I am an intensely musical person (guess the times my word rhyming and alliteration goes into interesting 'patterns' lol) and am known for nearly always having a music rec linked in each fic. Lately, I've had this on loop

This gives me Jill vibes in her rise from the murky fall of her own fears and in demanding Nemesis to truly accept the role he keeps saying he wants with her and yet never fully submits to. I also have GODS by League of Legends and NewJeans on sometimes. I just like LoL music lately okay I don't even play LoL XD

-Who is your favorite character to write? Hands down, Nemesis with Zeus a very close second. He's such a complicated traumatized monsterboy who painfully knows he is a tool and is so deeply angry at knowing that fact. While he keeps trying in ways to rebel finds every attempt - refusal to cooperate, sinking into his role as a ruthless killer letting black hate and rage guide him, to trying so hard to have his 'happy ending' at Jill's expense - painfully futile. Writing him trying to cope with all this on top of him trying to understand what intimacy (and no, sex does not inherently equal intimacy) is through a nonhuman filter is such a fun mindset to play with. -Would you please share a snippet of a wip? Sure! Snip from OaDWs: “Seeing that my deceased co-conspirator had done work with live humans before, but he never thought to slow down the infestation rates in his subjects to engender a better bonding process. The idea I admittedly gleaned from that detestable Ashford woman; sometimes a bit of time to let an introduced vector rest in one’s subject is warranted. You Jillian made that a possibility even though you had the added protection of prior infestation. “I wanted to see if I could expand on previous work…yet your sample didn’t seem all that operational at the time. Not until ‘patient zero’ awoke. It’s almost as if your suitor put himself on pause for you as your DNA caught up to his parameters! What a kindly gent. Sort of like with my other ‘sibling’, putting his life on pause for a greater cause than ‘survival’. Downside is he began to go over time ‘off the rails;’ so needing to meet out violence and evolve a world for an old man that gave him little thought!” Wesker laughs, the cold lilt hinting of privileged upbringing lacing the braying sound. Jill could only restrain the cold chill that ran up her spine as his words sank in. “That person…wasn’t you?” “Didn’t you in your desperate and blind observations of me during our Africa tour not notice? You wanted me gone that badly? Or was it you wanted badly for my ‘death’ be true? I’m hurt, Jill.” “Fuck you,” slid out of her mouth in a venomous hiss. “Ah ah ah, that wasn’t part of our agreement. I did in fact honor that restriction unlike what you tell yourself with Christopher.”

Thanks for the ask as I sure had a lot to say! (refers to this ask game post)

[the-invisible-queer]

I'll understand if you don't answer since you said you don't wanna talk about him but if you're comfortable explaining, is there a particular reason why him hooking up with/potentially dating someone again (at least I think that's what this is about...?) is such an issue for multiple fans? Like is the girl a known bad person or something??? I'm not trying to hate on you or anyone I'm just genuinely confused and feel like I must be missing something. I guess I just don't understand why the Stormi rebound (RIP to that) was fine but being seen with this random girl once is like everyone's final straw lol

This is not an open invitation to discuss this more

I just figured I'd explain so I don't get more asks about it

I will discuss stuff that has been off limits just because it's ALL related

So after this I HOPE we can all put it to rest and move on

I can only speak for MYSELF

But I know Joe girls - and most Jonas stans in general - have a thing with jealousy 🙄

I do think that's part of it because I've seen some unwarranted hate towards her

And of course we get protective of our guys

EYE have nothing against this woman because I know nothing about her

My beef is with HIM specifically

It's fully MY opinion and feelings

I respect he is a grown ass man who can make his own decisions which again is why I didn't want to talk about it because I don't want this to come off as me just bitching

I love him so fucking much it's insane how much I can love a man I've never met

Just like with Stormi I'm not gonna say he's dating this new woman because I respect his privacy and I'm not here to play relationship police

I just don't think jumping from person to person not even a year after he filed for divorce is healthy

Especially because before him and Stormi ended whatever they were he relased those two snippets that did make it seem like he was down bad

And maybe they were unrelated to her

But it is interesting he stopped using them and has since just been pushing "Even Baddies Get Saddies" since the alleged breakup

I do want him to be happy but I'd also like for him to be responsible

Seeing those photos of him with this new woman disappointed me because what is he doing? Having fun sure

But like my guy you're not 25 and single anymore

Priorities are different or at least they should be

And I know it has to do with his fear of being alone but like bro alone ≠ lonely

I'm worried about him

Because TO ME it's giving midlife crisis and he shouldn't be having his midlife crisis for like 15 more years

I want him to be happy and if this woman is making him happy then great but for how long?

Because they way he is and has operated in the past it's not going to go anywhere

And it's borderline sleazy which like as a father of two little girls DO FUCKING BETTER

And maybe I've been looking at him with rose colored glasses and he's been a fucking sleaze the whole time

But I'm just not a fan of what this seems to be the beginning of

And I don't want a front row seat to it

Which is why I need to distance myself

FOR ME it's not this new girl that made me react like this

She has nothing to do with this and I wish her the best like get that dick bestie idc

It's the fact that he wastes no time between relationships and I don't think it's healthy

And bestie don't think Stormi got out unscathed

People were still sending her hate (and a few death threats I saw) AFTER they broke up

So called "fans" gonna hate every woman he's seen with

And it's not fair to any of them

And it's the reason I've mostly stayed out of and away from the fandom except for a few people

When I said Joe girls are mentally unstable I said that from experience AS A JOE GIRL

[castielcommunism]

I don’t mean this in a “I want to start fights with people” way, but I genuinely don’t get the strain of argument on here that the show itself is especially punishing towards Dean or that he’s treated unfairly compared to other characters.

Like usually the order of operations goes: someone will say dean is the POV character of the show, and his interpretation of events, his emotional state, and his needs are privileged above other characters. Someone will then respond and say this isn’t true and basically argue the opposite, citing character assassination (either deliberate or accidental depending on who you ask), especially in dabb era, as a big source for this argument. Like, he’s written as intentionally bad or malicious in a way that is OOC and casts him in a negative light by virtue of him doing XYZ awful thing. So he’s “punished” by the writers by being written as out of character.

And so like I said I don’t really get this framing very much? At least, when I say “supernatural is The Dean Show” I mean basically that - he is privileged above other characters. He gets more screen time, more character-centric arcs and episodes, more nuance, etc. This is especially true when comparing him to Cas, but I think it also holds true when comparing him to Sam (and I don’t think saying “Sam has nothing to do and very little personality in the later seasons” is a generally controversial statement? Like I love Sam but I agree with this, he’s given very little to do and it sucks).

And Supernatural does regularly punish its characters! Nobody can be happy. They get Mary back, she dies. They get Cas back, he dies and comes back and dies again. All their friends die, either because of Sam and Dean’s choices or by pure tragic circumstances. Jack dies. Dean has a breakthrough moment in season 3 where he ostensibly realises his father is an asshole and regrets devoting so much of his time and energy to him, only for the brothers to go on to praise their dad for virtually the rest of the show. These guys are not allowed to have long term happiness or catharsis. They are not allowed to grow.

So where my confusion lies is like, all the main characters on spn perpetually have a bad time. They’re all punished, both fairy and not, for their actions (Cas especially, he’s always failing and fucking up, which forms the basis of a lot of conflict in the show - godstiel and casifer to name a couple big ones). I think it’s also true that Dean is generally proven correct by his own assumptions, and when he’s not (ie, him thinking Jack is a monster for example), there’s no real reckoning moment where he’s like oh shit I just did this awful thing and was wrong, I need to go reflect on my actions and then become a better person. People might call him out for his shitty behaviour but nothing really comes of it. Like I can’t really watch spn without noticing that Dean is the de facto protagonist and occupies a special space in the narrative that other main characters don’t. He also holds power over Sam and Cas - he is almost always in the driver’s seat, both literally in the Impala and narratively in the story. There’s even a post on here joking that we need to invent a version of the bechdel test to measure how many conversations in the show don’t reference or relate back to Dean somehow.

And then ALSO another important thing is that like I don’t hate Dean for this lol. I just think it’s boring and bad writing. There are a lot of very good posts on here talking about how the show would be better if he were a deuteragonist. Asking how the show would shake out if he were de-prioritised and we got more arcs dedicated to exploring Cas and Sam is, I think, a genuinely interesting question, but you have to accept the premise that Dean is privileged in the narrative in order to ask that question.

So tl;dr I guess my point is like, every guy on spn is punished and tortured by the narrative, and Dean is the principle character of the show that every character arc eventually bends towards. And I think because of that, as much as his suffering is highlighted more and given more space (because he is, again, the protagonist - we don’t see Sam crying alone in a field because Mary died, for example), he’s also given more opportunities to be correct and is generally favoured on a narrative level even if the text of the show is punishing him for doing something. So I don’t really get what people mean when they say “Dean is unfairly punished” above and beyond the general punishment that happens on the show to every character

[plan-d-to-i]

I see posts and twits (even from the people who don't like JC) about how JGY and XY are evil but JC is not, and I just don't understand?? like, if he was just a basic bitch, jealous and resentful and bitter, I would understand, but the guy planed and lead a siege to kill his 'brother' and people he knew where not a threat, knowing there was a toddler there! and then he spent the next 13 years (openly) being a serial killer who tortured and brutally murdered people routinely just because he could and knew he would get away with it, with no regrets, no empathy, not even a hint he had doubts about his actions. He used his power to target people who didn't have any chance against him, who were vulnerable; he trained his sect into being experts in abducting his victims, he tried to teach it to his kid nephew! How could that not be evil? Even if we ignore everything else he did, how can a serial killer be anything but evil?

I understand that the author said he is not, and maybe it's just me projecting, but she seemed to say it to avoid his fans? like she was reluctant to speak much about him at all? for me, the fact that she compared him to XY says more than anything that yes, he is evil.

sorry for the rant, I guess I'm just trying to understand. If you share this viewpoint about him, would you mind explaining why? (not that you need to explain anything, I'm just genuinely confused and don't know who else to ask. I trust your opinions, they are always clear and intelligent, so I decided to chance it.)

byw, I understand that he was a minor villain or an antagonist, whatever. He was boring and dumb. I just don't think it exempts him from being evil.

complex villain mastermind? no, he is too dumb and boring. But that doesn't exempt him from being evil.

If you happen to think he isn't evil would you mind explaining why? not that you need to justify your feelings and thoughts, but I'm genuinely confused about it. i know the author said he wasn't evil, but I always had the impression she was reluctant abt speaking of him at all, bc of his fans. That she compared him to XY says a lot, I think.

Ahah it's funny, I also felt from the interview that she didn't want to come right out and say something negative about jc and provoke his fans.

"In my mind, Jiang Cheng does have some fans, and these fans are really vocal about him in the comment section. So, I think there’s a lot of people who like him. They don’t treat him as the bad guy." (x)

lol Because the interviewer asked her several times if she doesn't think he's bad lol. But naturally that's just a vibe. She did something similar in the novel postscript:

Everyone should know what Jiang Cheng’s keyword is without me saying it. In the beginning, I thought with with XY’s existence, Jiang Cheng’s negative energy would definitely seem skimpy.

I'm like, no no tells us the keyword lol! But in the end it's really just negative energy. She thought XY would make his seems skimpy but it wasn't the case lmao! Another comparison to XY.

Male Host: So what do you think was Xue Yang as a person? Just as you have described Jiang Cheng?

MXTX: A person with a distroted world view. An unhappy childhood, someone who …deserves to be beaten by the protagonist. (x)

lol & that's the thing, "evil" is a pretty subjective word- like "love". What's "evil" to me or you may not be "evil" in the eyes of someone else. For example I don't think jc is capable of love, because he's too self involved to feel empathy for anyone else. Similarly, I suppose I wouldn't call jc purposefully malevolent. I think he's bad in the way particularly shitty people are bad when they have the power and privilege to give their faults free rein without fear of consequences. Because of his social position, wealth and strong cultivation the deep flaws in his character are enabled to do extensive, permanent damage unchecked. It's after all something that his father worried about and tried to instruct him against. That's why I think words like "evil" are ultimately useless to classify things. jc is not purposely setting out to do evil on a grand scale but he's deeply damaging nonetheless. Instead of helping his people jc is busy trying to still track down and kill WWX after he already caused his death and the death of everyone he was protecting. His own people are too terrified to seek his help. He demands things from others but doesn't repay his own debts. He only talks about what he's owed. He doesn't take responsibly for anything but only blames others. He's filled with envy and resentment for those who are better than him instead of striving to be a better person himself. His parenting not only did a number on his nephew emotionally but pushed him to repeatedly put himself in life threatening situations. He's so incredibly self absorbed, his concerns revolve only around himself. In that way, more than being evil, I just think his existence is damaging to others and I'd see zero drawbacks to humanity in having less people like him walking around.

[goji-pilled]

Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka. 

(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)

(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)

Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷‍♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.

On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.

Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)

In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj

(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)

Okay okay I'll get back to it!

So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).

Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.

Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK

While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!

Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.

Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)

Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out. 

As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):

"Unit! Are you back in the game?"

"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"

"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"

"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"

"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"

There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I do feel better."

That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)

To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.

After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:

Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!! 

Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.

Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain? 

And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.

In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."

But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.

It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.

And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them  so much man.

[kyuublu]

Haunt me

Toji Fushiguro x reader (she/her)

Neighbor AU - angst

note: the bold passages are flashbacks + Megumi is an only child in this one lol

song inspo: How to dissapear - Lana Del Rey

Blue skies and big fields of green; the road had always stayed the same, y/n noticed as she left the bus. Once the young women made her way home, she took in all the familiar sights she hadn’t seen in years. She had missed walking through the familiar streets, despite disliking her home town when she was younger, since it didn’t have anything really interesting for teenagers around her age. There were no clubs, cool stores, really anything that was rebellious or at least didn’t look like it was owned by a 70-year-old man. Everything always stayed the same.

Y/n’s footsteps came to a halt, right before the door of her own home. Subconsciously turning her head to the side, she was suddenly aware of the presence that stood further away. The familiar figure leaned against the railing of his porch, back turned to her as he focused on something in his hands. Toji Fushiguro.

Had he stayed the same too?

For a moment, y/n had thought about greeting him but was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door infront of her.

“Y/n! Why didn’t you knock? Oh, come here-“ The older lady put her arms around her daughter lovingly and pulled them inside.

“I made a bunch of your favorites, but there are going to take a bit more time.” She pointed at the stove as both of them entered the kitchen.

“Where’s dad?”

Her mom rolled her eyes at the thought of her stubborn husband, they apparently had argued about the maintenance of their garden a couple of hours prior. Y/n chuckled at her mothers’ frustration, but went to look for her dad on her own, since her mom seemed too busy with cooking. After greeting him and exchanging a couple of words, the daughter convinced him to let her mow the lawn. “But you better not break it again like the first time!” The man teased playfully, earning an eyeroll from y/n as she ushered him inside.

“Damn it-“

Muttering under her breath, the girl almost kicked the device infront of her in a fit of rage. The lawnmower had suddenly been stuck before she could really even start, and was now only a rattling mess.

“Fuck...” She sighed one more time, putting her hand lazily on her hip and the other over her eyes, shielding her from the sun.

“For a young lady, ya do seem to swear alot.”

Y/n whipped her head towards the strangers’ voice, almost gasping as she realized who the voice had belonged to. He was the husband of the new family that had moved next to their house a few weeks ago. Before that encounter she hadn’t seen him up close, but now his appearance immediately burned itself into her brain. He was handsome, not the kind of handsome that she had seen from popular boys in school or the hollywood actors on tv, but the attraction she had to him felt a thousand times better.

“I- uhm-“ The girl stuttered as she avoided his eyes, only to look back at the problem at hand.

“It’s broken.” She pointed at the lawnmower dumbfounded, smacking herself internally at the way she was behaving like a 7-year-old.

“Let’s see if I can help, shall we?” A confident smile appeared on the mans’ face, making the girl’s knees even weaker, before he approached the device. He had quickly figured out the problem and got rid of the piece that had been stuck inside the lawnmower, but continued talking to y/n casually, throwing in a joke or two.

“I’m Toji by the way, but I’m guessing your dad already told you about us.”

She watched as the dark haired man held his hand out to her. His politeness felt strange from the start, as if he was playing a character in a movie and she couldn’t quite figure out why.

“What was your name again?”

“Y/n.” The girl shakily took his hand, getting even more nervous at the roughness that was contrasting her own.

“I also wanted to ask ya something - my wife has been buggin’ me about it for days now. Are ya any good with kids?”

That day Toji had asked her if she could babysit his 5-year old son, since he had a job that required to be available at any moment and his wife had to take night shifts at the hospital. Y/n agreed to it without any question, since her dad had taken a liking to the family and she wanted to earn some money on the side. She had just graduated in that same year and wasn’t sure as to what her next step should be in life or what her future looked like really. But right now, the man walking away from her seemed like the best distraction from the dull routine she had been used to.

Shortly after y/n finished the rest of the lawn, her mom waved her inside to eat. The dinner had tasted better than ever, y/n thought as she greedily dug into her plate and asked her mom for more. The older lady only chuckled at her antics, appreciating the sentiment behind it though.

“I really wouldn’t have thought you’d go through with it, honestly.” Her father spoke with his usual sarcastic tone as he watched his daughter take another plate full of food.

“With college? Yeah, I guess I understand what you mean. I’ve always been the lazy type.”

Y/n knew her dad well enough not to argue with him about what he believed his daughter was like. He only knew what she had let him see, and three years ago that had been an 18-year-old girl that took a year off to stay at her parents home without any plans or direction. Only she herself knew that lazyness hadn’t been the real issue, it was her fear of growing up and failing. Before they could dig any deeper into the topic, the daughter decided to ask about the one thing that had been stuck in her mind since she had seen Toji on the porch.

“So, how are the Fushiguro’s doing?” She casually picked at the food on her plate.

“I thought I’ve told you on the phone already? About Toji’s wife and kid.” The mother looked at her child in disbelief until she saw the genuine confusion in her eyes and started explaining.

“His wife died almost a year ago. She became very sick all of a sudden and then it just happened so quickly. Toji hasn’t really been the same since.”

Y/n’s eyes widened in shock, she couldn’t comprehend the fact that something did change so drastically around here, and it hat happened to the family she had wished it upon the least.

“W-What about Megumi?”

Ms.L/n eyes locked with her husband’s, both of their heads hanging a bit lower now.

“Toji gave him away for adoption. He didn’t seem to be in the right state of mind to be handling a child on his own after an incident like that.” The daughter only nodded her head slowly at her dads’ words, as she remembered the big pouty cheeks on that little boys’ face three years ago and his mother that had the same big blue eyes.

Since the very first time y/n had visited the Fushiguros’ house, the wife had always been extremely caring and sweet towards her, reassuring her that she’d be a great babysitter (and even mother someday, which always made her cringe a little). Eventhough she wanted to be grateful, she felt a tinge of jealousy, almost resentment towards her. The woman was beautiful in every way posssible and even stood up against her husband plenty of times, never doubting her confidence once - Y/n had been the complete opposite.

Especially confrontation was something she had always struggled with, even feeling bad when she overheard some of the fights that the Fushiguro’s had occasionally.

One night when y/n had been taking care of the little boy again, Toji came home earlier than expected, leaving her a bit taken back at the sudden appearance. Thankfully, Megumi had already been asleep at this point, making it easier for the parent to just arrive home without worrying about the whole putting him to bed routine. He had walked straight pass her, only muttering a short “Hey” before grabbing a beer and sitting down on the couch. The girl recalled the fight before the couple both headed off to work but didn’t expect to have to deal with his mood already.

What was she supposed to say to a man twice her age that was visibly pissed, sitting on the couch that she was supposed to sleep on tonight. She could only stare at the back of his head helplessly, wondering if she should just change into her normal clothes again and leave.

“Are ya gonna stand there all day?”

Y/n’s eyes snapped back to the man, as he streched one of his arms over the back of the couch.

“No, I just thought-“ Stopping herself from ending the sentence, she thought about actually engaging in conversation with him. The girl didn’t have the chance nor the guts to talk to him completely alone yet, since he always kept his ‘nice neighbor facade’ up around other people. Stepping closer to the couch, she could feel herself getting more tense. She knew Toji wasn’t going to give her much attention, since he hadn’t ever given her any signs of actually liking her in any way, but somehow the girl couldn’t overlook the weird tension. Once y/n settled down a bit further away from him, she noticed his eyes had been glued to her since she’d walked over.

“Wasn’t too hard now was it?”

He muttered with a slight smirk, before taking a swig of his drink. Y/n let out a nervous chuckle before leaning back more comfortably.

Just stay cool.

“So, I heard you’ve graduated not too long ago, congratulations.” It was more of a statement than a question but she still answered nonetheless.

“Yeah it’s crazy, actually- I also turned 19 a week ago too. Everything is going by so fast now.” She cringed at herself once she heard the deeple chuckle from the man beside her.

Why would you tell him that? Your age of all things?

“Well, why are ya still stuck here then? Ya should be out there in the world, not in this shithole.” Toji had his eyes back on the bottle as he tapped his finger on the dark colored glass.

“Or is a boyfriend of yours keeping ya here?” Glancing to the side teasingly, he leaned in a bit closer, making the girl’s heartbeat race even more.

“No! I’m j-just...” Y/n shook her head, staring at him with big eyes until she mumbled out

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Raising his eyebrows, he really began acknowledging her presence. The way she acted more shy around him and always seemed to be shaking a bit, making her look like a scared little puppy. Then he noticed her clothes, or rather lack there of. “What? Don’t tell me a pretty girl like you didn’t get chased by the guys at ya school.”

Does he really think I’m pretty?

Y/n almost held her breath once he lowered his eyes down her figure, remembering now that she was only wearing a top, without a bra, and shorts to sleep in, because summer had just started and the temperatures felt like hell at night.

“Not really, I guess I just wasn’t anyone’s type.”

The girl let out a nervous chuckle yet again, her body feeling like it was overheating and her brain was about to explode at any moment. It only worsened once the dark haired man loosened his arm on the couch and bend it towards her face, his hand slowly pulling a piece of hair behind her ears. Their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity; She couldn’t get enough of this feeling.

“Too bad.”

Y/n waited for something more, anything to explain what he had meant, but got startled by the sudden ringing in her pocket.

“A-ah uhm, sorry-“

She quickly picked up the phone, only to be bombarded by questions from her father. Eventually she ended the call and turned back to Toji, who still hadn’t looked away from her.

“I have to go. My dad he- he thought that I wasn’t going to babysit tonight and now he’s kind of mad, so...”

The man nodded understandingly until a smirk appeared on his face, as if he had just read her thoughts for a moment.

“I guess ya can’t keep me company then, huh?”

Y/n only shook her head, almost sighing in frustration. Tonight had already felt like a dream, but a way too short one.

Cleaning the dishes had always been a task assigned to y/n since she could remember, but hoped that she could’ve escape tonight. Sadly not though - making her the last one to go to bed. She dragged her feet up the stairs that led to her old bedroom but stopped before falling into the soft pillows. Instinctively the woman looked out her window, only to catch a glimpse of the one across from hers. Before the Fushiguro’s had moved in, it had always bugged her that the neighbors view directly faced her room. Her mom had always warned her daughter to close the curtains as much as possible and change in the bathroom instead, but like most teenagers often do - she didn’t listen, or just wasn’t planning on walking back to the bathroom for every time she had to change her clothes. But y/n did remembered the first time she had changed infront of the window on purpose.

With only a towel draped around her body, the girl quickly peaked at the neighbors house as she stood with her back to the wall. She had panicked at first, seeing the husband leaning against the window frame, a cigarette hanging on the side of his lips. Y/n didn’t know if he had seen her walk in with the towel but she was intrigued by his sight, the way he had just casually leaned forward, as the thick smoke escaped his lips. Without thinking any further she stepped away from the wall and infront of the window, her back turned towards the dark haired man on the other side.

Was he going to notice? Would he even want to see her like this?

Dropping the towel and slowly putting on the underwear that was layed out on her bed, she kept imagining what he might’ve looked like in that moment. Thousands of pictures would pop up in her head until she couldn’t help but want to see for herself. Her head moved on it’s own, as she turned it to the side, only to see that the figure was gone.

Y/n blinked a couple of times, utterly confused on how to feel, should she have wanted this? This was exactly the opposite of thing’s a girl of her age should feel excited about, but she couldn’t deny that the tiny bit inside of her that wanted him to watch, wanted to be desired by him - had been disappointed.

Y/n tossed and turned, never seeming to find any rest from her constant thinking. She couldn’t’ help but feel bad about disappearing from the small town, even though there had never been any reason for her to stay in the first place - there hadn’t been any jobs that would have been interesting to her, no new people to connect to. The deep heavy weighing feeling inside of her told her the opposite though, probably resulting in a restless and never ending night of overthinking.

I have to see him. Sitting up, her buzzing head turned to the side, she considered going with the idea that had popped into her head momentarily.

Y/n let out a huff, putting on the robe that had been draped over the chair in the corner of the room (and took the keys with her, of course) and made her way downstairs carefully, each step creaking slightly under her shaking feet. Fleeting moments of feeling like a teenager again went through her mind; even though she had rarely snuck out of the house back then, the young woman had only wished that those years would’ve been that exciting. Shrugging at the thought, she finally stood infront of the door of her home, opening it slowly. As her hands pushed the wooden surface back, she slipped through and looked to the side, towards the house she hadn’t stepped foot in in 3 years. Suddenly the pace of her heart quickened, not only by the thought of seeing the older man again, but by the figure that was leaving the house at that moment. Y/n squinted until she recognized that it hadn’t been Toji leaving the house. The long black hair immediately made her perk up and lean back, she didn’t want to be noticed by the guy - even though he might’ve been easier to approach than the man sitting in that very house next door.

It had been in the middle of the day that Mrs.Fushiguro called the young woman. Y/n had the spare time of course and agreed to come over, happy to see the little boy and maybe even catch a second to talk with Toji again. She hadn’t seen him often after that night and couldn’t quite place yet what the dark haired man thought of her now. How was she supposed to behave around him? Groaning in frustration the girl began walking towards the house, but as the door opened, the student began slowing down. An unknown man, visibly younger than the parents that lived in the house, suddenly locked eyes with her. Y/n imagined him to be around around his mid-tenties, which made her curious - Toji didn’t ever seem to invite any guests over, so why would he choose to be around a guy that young?

The stranger smiled politely, which she only returned while approaching the porch he had been standing on.

“Don’t tell me Toji has another kid he didn’t tell me about.”

Thrown off by the sudden comment, y/n’s eyes widened as she snapped her head back to the stranger. The mans’ soft laugh made her feel more at ease, ultimately making her laugh too.

“No, I’m just the babysitter slash next door neighbor.”

“I’m Geto Suguru, it’s nice to meet you.”

His smile was smug but sweet, she noted. Before Geto could leave, the girl spoke up once again, the curiosity getting the best of her.

“How do you know the family? Do you work for them too?”

The man turned, giving her his full attention.

“Oh, god no I’d never work for that idiot.” He chuckled yet again, shaking his head in the process. “I am a colleague of Toji. Sometimes I just come around, since he does have a charm that I can’t resist, you know.”

By the looks of it he had only made a joke, but to y/n, that only chuckled in response, the vibe had felt off.

“What do you do exactly? I’m not trying to pry or anything, but Mr.Fushiguro has never really told me about it, so...”

Geto quirked a brow, he had caught a slight glimpse of her in that moment that almost gave her intentions away - but he looked past it, she seemed too young to actually be interested in Toji’s personal life. “We work at a workshop not too far from here, repairing cars and all that. It’s probably not something worth mentioning to be honest.”

The girl infront of him didn’t believe a word. She didn’t have any evidence not to, but the way he talked had been so sugarcoated, that she couldn’t help but feel suspicious of him. “You’re probably right, I don’t know a thing about cars.”

Smiling innocently at the guy, she slowly began turning back to the entrance of the house.

“Well I’ll see you around then.”

Geto only held up a hand smoothly, smiling yet again - which only confirmed what y/n had been thinking this whole time. This man was too much of a flirt, a smooth talker to be around someone like Toji as a normal friend. It only raised the question as to why the father always seemed to avoided talking about his job, and what the hell it had to do with this Geto guy. Y/n shook her head lightly until she was met with the devil himself.

“Right on time as always, mh?”

Toji’s smirk only drew her eyes down his face, making her noticed the scar in the corner of his lips.

“Oh uh- yeah.”

Y/n nodded as he let her inside. She stepped in, thinking that maybe there was more to the man than she originally had thought, a side of him nobody knew about.

It took a long time before a shadow appeared at the foot of the door. To the young adult it had felt like hours until she could finally hear the lock being opened. The girl inside of her was screaming, begging to see him again - as to why she did feel that way still, she didn’t have an answer to. Then the door creaked open just a bit. Y/n could see him peak through for just a second, the dark bags under his eyes were alarming, but to be expected. He must’ve been through alot, things she wouldn’t be able to grasp at her age.

A sigh escaped Fushiguro’s lips as he leaned away from the door, only letting a crack of light fall through, contrasting the dark of the night. Suddenly the door swung open, the brightness of the light illuminating her completely now, as she squinted her eyes to adjust to it. Toji had his back turned to her, trudging towards the living room without a word. She watched as his body disappeared into the room and followed slowly after, unsure of what’s to come.

As y/n stepped in, closing the door after her, she began taking a peak at the rooms that she passed by. They had all been in the same conditions as the day she left, which made her wonder how much of that was really Toji’s doing - he had never been the one to clean the house or cook. It was always one of the things his wife had complained about the most, y/n remembered the bickering everytime the woman left for work. Mrs.Fushiguro had been right about the way her husband had never participated in doing his part, but the girl couldn’t deny that back then she would’ve done anything to be a housewife if that meant she could call the man she had been infatuated with - hers. Y/n often joked about it to her friends at school, but deep down she knew there was an inexplicable feeling she couldn’t get rid of as soon as he left her sight.

The young woman almost gasped once she stood in the doorway of the living room, it contrasting to the rest of the home so much that she almost wanted to laugh. Beer cans were scattered across the floor, half eaten food laying around on the table and in between the rest of all the mess, was Toji, his head hanging low.

Y/n had expected some sort of comment from the dark haired man that was now sitting on the same old couch that she had imprinted into her memories - but he hadn’t uttered a word.

She knew she was the one that had to initiate the conversation, but couldn’t shake off the anxiety that was creeping up. Once her feet were ready to move without shaking, she approached the man, sitting right on the spot next to him that she had been used to back then.

“What are you doing here...”

Toji’s low tone almost made her shiver. His question rather sounding like an accusation, an observation than anything else. It was the same old thing he’d always do, where he didn’t ask for the other person’s sake but rather to emphasize that what they were doing was almost a joke to him, something so obvious that he didn’t need an answer for.

She shouldn’t be here - nobody asked her to come and he was probably the last person to know what to do with her. They weren’t friends, y/n told herself as she looked at his disheveled state, she was only an old memory, coming back to haunt him.

“I just thought-“

The womans’ eyes began watering, but she swore to herself that she didn’t want to be that stuttering mess in front of him ever again. She didn’t want to remind him of that same girl he had met three years ago. Y/n was a grown woman now, and for some reason she felt the need to prove it to him.

“I heard what happened. I don’t know if it makes any difference, but I just wanted to give you my condolences.”

A creak of one of the beer cans made her look up to the man, his face unreadable. Toji scoffed as he watched the can crinkle between his fingers.

“Everyone says the same shit. It was stupid of me to think ya would be any different.”

Y/n watched as he let the empty can drop to the floor, making it painfully obvious how silent it had gotten.

“Did Geto say the same too?”

Toji finally casted her eyes towards her form, almost seeming caught off guard by the question.

“He came to the funeral after everything that happened. Suguru was never somebody I would’ve considered a friend honestly, but there he was, standing next to me in a black suit.”

The dark haired man paused for a moment as his eyes darted to the glass door that led to their garden. A sudden chuckle escaped his lips, without any certain emotion being evident on his face.

“He didn’t once pity me. The guy just padded me on the back and said he’d see me at work again.” His gaze found it’s way to the girl in the robe.

“So?”

She knitted her brows in confusion, unsure of what to say. “What?” He laughed at the quick response, turning away to shake his head.

“I never really understood you, y/n. Even before you left-“

Toji leaned forward, prompting his arms on his thighs as he looked down at his hands.

“You were always looming around but ya never got to the damn point. It was like you were hiding something in that pretty little head of yours.”

Suddenly the young woman felt defensive, finally grasping the fact that she didn’t have to stand back anymore - this was her only chance.

“And you weren’t?”

His head turned, as he looked over his shoulder questioningly. Y/n took the opportunity to go further, staring back at him intently.

“You always acted all polite infront of others, casually waved at the neighbors, talked to my parents with a friendly smile - but once you were in here...”

She scoffed at the memories flooting her thoughts again. The harsh words Toji had thrown at his wife, the way he wouldn’t as much as look in his son’s direction most of the time.

“You were awful, Toji.”

The mans’ eyes grew dark with every word she uttered, but y/n was insistent on not taking it back this time, she needed answers.

“Sure, make me the bad guy all ya want. I’ll let ya have that, but don’t act all innocent on me.”

Slowly the distance between them became smaller, as the man leaned closer to y/n with a devilish grin.

“Do you really think I didn’t notice your little attempts? Ya think my wife would’ve appreciated the way you acted around me?”

The hand that was propped onto his leg was dangerously closer to her thigh, y/n noted as her eyes flickered down nervously. He knew all along - but what did that mean for her? Y/n gulped before speaking up again and meeting his gaze.

“You were already fighting with her about every possible thing you could, but you think that the girl next door would’ve made her break? Really?”

Toji’s stare was cold again, his lips shut close as he almost mumbled to himself in disbelief.

“What did I ever do to you?”

“Nothing.” The woman shook her head as the tears slipped down her cheeks. “You didn’t even spare me a glance.”

Her voice broke as she smiled sadly, not knowing how to put into words why she had felt the way she did. Y/n couldn’t quite grasp it herself.

“I didn’t understand why even though you did everything your own way, disrespecting her multiple times and seemingly not even giving a fuck about your own family - you still never even dared to look at me in any other way than the fucking babysitter.”

A sniffle broke through the silence of the house, Toji still not wavering as he watched the woman break right infront of him.

“I know that you shouldn’t have and that it was selfish of me, childish to think you could ever see me as more, but I was so frustrated. I just wanted to be desired by you, and the little amount of attention you did give me just made it hard not to be addicted to you.”

In that moment, y/n felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She didn’t explain everything perfectly but she felt as if maybe this was the only way she could’ve made him understand, even just a little.

The girl back then already knew that her way of thinking had been selfish, and even now she couldn’t look past at how toxic it was to think that way about someone with a family, someone much older than her - but y/n still never stopped thinking about him.

Y/n closed her eyes, sparing herself the embarrassment she might’ve felt by looking at Toji’s reaction but suddenly felt his body moving beside hers. She opened her eyes as the man took her chin in his hand and looked down her lips longingly. Just for a moment, y/n thought that maybe she had been wrong all along - Maybe Toji had catched a glimpse of her when he smoked out of the bedroom window, maybe he too had wondered what it would be like to lay next to her and hold her for just one night.

Then his lips crashed into hers, softly but with a lingering determination. Before y/n could even react properly, Toji had moved back again. His eyes staying on the spot he had kissed her, tracing his thumb over it lightly.

“I can’t give you what you want. I never could.”

No. No. No.

Y/n thought back to when she had arrived today, when she claimed that everything had stayed the same. “Why?”

She pleaded with glassy eyes, her e/c ones boring into his.

“Because you don’t belong at a place like this - and I do.”

Even as the young woman sat there, watching him move away and stand back up, she didn’t feel any hatred towards him. He never did anything bad to her. He never treated her the way he had treated his wife. He never once took advantage of the situation.

But both of them knew he wasn’t a good person, and maybe letting each other go was the only way to avoid causing any more damage.

“I’m sorry.”

Y/n didn’t know what exactly she had apologized for; if it had been for leaving the town out of the blue, or for crashing into his home without any warning. Maybe even for something that only Toji could know, like what circumstances he had been in to become this way - but she did feel sorry. Toji’s steps come to a halt at the doorway, turning his head, only to give her one last smile.

He had left the room without a response.

Y/n knew there hadn’t been anything left to say - this was their last chapter and she was finally ready to turn the page.

————

My first jjk story for now, but I’ll probably write more for other characters from the show soon. Also please feel free to correct me on anything grammar related since english isn’t my first language & i’m only trying to get better. ^^

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt 18

Steven Hyde x Reader

A/N: The part is finally here! THE PARENTS FIND OUT. I hope you enjoy this part! Geez, I can’t believe we’re already 18 parts in! And I’m not even done lol with all this information I want to put in the story, there maybe a bit more. Let me know what you all think! By the way, CONGRATULATIONS TO WILMER VALDERAMA FOR THR BIRTH OF HIS DAUGHTER! What a beautiful baby!!

Kitty sat there, staring at her daughter with an unreadable expression. Was she angry? Disappointed? Murderous? Y/n couldn’t bear to make eye contact with her, so she kept her gaze down.

“So,” Kitty said, clearing her throat. “Pregnant, huh?”

Y/n nodded, flitting her eyes to Kitty who was calmly messing with her ring.

“How far along are you?”

“Bout a month.”

“And does Steven know?”

“Yes, he—wait, what?” This time Y/n snapped her gaze to Kitty who was staring at her down with a stoic expression.

“I said does Steven know?” Kitty repeated and placed her fist underneath her chin. “Does he know that he is the father?”

All Y/n could do was stare at her mother in disbelief as her brain suddenly stopped working. The gears in her head froze as she felt her hands go numb. “What—how—uh, when did you—why would you—wait, what? Steven’s not the father.”

“Oh, no need to get all fussy and lie to me,” Kitty said and chuckled and got up to start a pot of tea. “I’ve known for weeks.”

“You what?” Y/n asked in complete disbelief. “How did you find out?!”

“Oh, please, I’m not stupid. You kids are terrible at keeping secrets.” She grabbed two mugs and placed two teabags in them, then reached up to get the honey. “It’s obvious that you two have gotten much closer in the recent months and besides—I’ve seen you two lay a smooch on each other in a time or two.”

“Oh, God,” Y/n mumbled, covering her hot and flushed face. “Well, if you knew, why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Because I wanted you to come to me yourself,” Kitty answered as if it was obvious and poured the hot water into the mugs. “You’re eighteen now. You make that decision to date whoever you want.”

Kitty set the mugs down on the table in front of them.

“If that’s true then why were you telling me that I shouldn’t and can’t date him?”

“Because of your father,” she responded and took a sip of her tea. “You know how he is.”

“Oh, God, does he know?”

“Oh, heavens no,” Kitty responded and waved her hand. “If he does, he’s in denial.”

“He’s going to kill us,” Y/n groaned and covered her eyes with her hand that wasn’t holding the mug.

“Well, we need to find a way to ease into it,” Kitty said. “The last thing we want is to give him another heart attack. Because let’s be honest, this one will kill him.”

“So, what do you suggest?”

“Well, we could liquor him up,” she responded. “That way, he’ll be mad, but not enough to kill him.”

“Wow, Mom. It sounds like you’ve done this before.”

“Eh, maybe once or twice,” Kitty said, waving her hand and took a sip of her tea.

They sat in silence for a moment. “Are you mad?”

Kitty inhaled deeply and looked at Y/n. “A little. More so that you didn’t tell me and lied to me. Multiple times.”

Y/n looked down at her tea in shame. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

“Do you and Steven even have a plan?”

Y/n nodded, debating on telling her about the engagement. Like a band-aid. “Yes. He’s going to go work with his dad in Milwaukee and I’m going to go back to school while looking for an apartment. And, uh,” she took a deep breath, her voice wavering. Get ready to see some chairs fly. “We’re….going to get…married.”

Kitty sat there in stunned silence, blinking at Y/n. The growing silence between them made Y/n more nervous as she was receiving daggers from her mother’s blazed eyes.

“Yep,” Y/n said shortly after a minute of no talking. “A grandchild and a son-in-law. Big day for you.”

“You’re WHAT!” Kitty shouted, shooting up from her seat.

Y/n jumped up and held her hands out at her menopausal mother. “I’m sorry! We just thought that it would be better for you and Daddy because I’m sure you guys don’t want a screaming baby around and we—”

“You’re going to leave me?!”

Y/n knitted her eyebrows together and brought her hands down. “What?”

“My baby is having a baby and getting married and you’re going to leave me?!”

“Uh, okay, I’m sorry, but I’m really confused,” Y/n said calmly and stood up straight. “I thought you’d want me and Steven to move out.”

“Well, not right now!” she yelled. “I’ve always wanted to plan my children’s wedding. When I saw what path Laurie was going down, I thought to hell with that I’m never going to plan her wedding, and Eric…well you know what happened! But now you’re getting married and I need to plan yours! Sure, I still want to put my foot up your ass, but I need to do this!”

Y/n stood there in confusion and shock. Well, this went better than expected. “Really, Mom? You’re sure?”

“Yes, you dumbass!” Kitty shouted and wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shoulders.

“Wow, uhm, you’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would,” Y/n said, wrapping hesitant arounds around her petite mother.

“Don’t be so sure,” she replied. “I’m still angry that you lied to me and didn’t tell me and for Steven going behind our backs instead of just coming to us, but we will talk later. For now, we need to focus on telling your father so that we can start planning and getting ready for everything.”

“When should we tell him?”

“Well, tomorrow night I’ll be throwing a small dinner party for couples. So, you, Steven, and Donna and Eric will be there. And Bob is coming with a date.”

“You really think telling Dad while we’re having a party, which he hates, is a good idea? He’s not afraid to have witnesses while he murders me, you know that right?”

“Oh, honey, don’t be so dramatic. That’s where we’re going to get him liquored up,” Kitty laughed and sat back down, leaving Y/n utterly confused still.

                                                  --Time Skip—

     “So, she knew this whole time?” Steven asked later that night, as they laid in his bed, their naked bodies covered by the blanket.

“Yep. Apparently, we weren’t being as secretive as we should’ve been,” Y/n commented.

“And she took the news well?” He felt genuinely confused. “So, I’m not getting…kicked out?”

“No, but she definitely wants to put her foot up our asses.”

He raised his eyebrows. “She said that?”

“Word for word.”

Steven threw his head back laughing. “Man, I wish I would’ve heard that.”

“Yeah, but here’s the kicker. I think she was madder that I told her that we would be moving out.”

He stopped laughing and looked at her confused. “How?”

She shrugged. “Beats me. She said something about how she’s never going to be able to plan Laurie’s wedding because she’s, well, Laurie, so she really wants to plan ours.”

Hyde chuckled. “That’s funny.”

Y/n lifted the corner of her mouth. “Which part?”

“Well both. She just called Laurie a whore and that she thinks we will have a real wedding.”

Y/n sat up and looked at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, obviously Laurie gets around quite a bit—”

“No, no, not that,” she said. “About the wedding.”

“Oh, well,” Hyde said and sat up too. “You didn’t think we were going to have a real wedding, did you?”

“Uh, yeah I did,” she replied. “That’s why I said wedding. It’s not like I’m saying let’s have a big one or anything, but something. What were you thinking?”

“Well, just, uh,” he said nervously. “Just city hall and then maybe have a dinner.”

“That’s it?” she asked. “That’s how you want to spend our big day?”

“Well, to be fair we have an even bigger one coming,” he responded, motioning towards her stomach.

“Okay, yes, we’re having a baby but also us getting married is also pretty big.”

“ Y/n, what is the big deal? We’re going to be spending a lot of time and money for what? A few hours of partying?”

“A few hours of partying? Are you kidding me?”

“What? It’s true.”

“A wedding is the unification of us becoming one and celebrating our love! To promise one another that we will always be there and love each other. Doesn’t that mean something to you?” She got out of the bed and started putting her clothes back on.

“Why do we need to promise each other in front of people when it’s our marriage? I’m promising you, not them.”

“It’s still a celebration, Steven.”

“Yeah, maybe back in the olden times when marriage was used as transactions and not for anything more. I mean, come on, be happy that I’m even marrying you!” He started to put his pants back on when he noticed the shift in the room.

“What?” Y/n asked sharply.

Hyde’s eyes grew a fraction bigger. “No, no! That’s not what I meant!”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I just meant that before I probably wouldn’t have even considered marriage even if I did get you pregnant.” He mentally cringed, knowing he just made the situation worse.

“Wow,” was all she said before she walked out the room.

“No, wait Y/n!” he stumbled as he fumbled to put his pants back on. “I didn’t mean it that way!”

“Just leave me alone, Steven!” she shrieked as she stomped up the stairs.

He groaned. “Great.”

                                               --Time Skip—

           “Y/n, honey can you go to the store for me and pick some things up for the party tonight?” Kitty asked while she gave Y/n her breakfast plate.

“We’re having a party?” Eric asked. Everyone, excluding Red was there. Fez and Jackie sat at the counter, Kelso and Donna at the table.

“Yes, we are. All couples are invited.”

“Wait, why wasn’t I invited? Kelso asked.

“Well, honey, you need a date,” Kitty said. “Do you have a date?”

“Yeah, Brooke.

“That would be great! Then I can ask her questions about when she was pregnant,” Y/n said.

“Ohhh, honey, let’s not say that out loud,” Kitty replied, patting Y/n’s shoulder. “Your father could walk in any minute.”

“Guess I can come now,” Kelso beamed.

“Yeah, I guess you can,” Kitty said and sat down next to Y/n.

“Can I come too Miss Kitty?” Fez asked. “If I bring a date that is.”

“Of course, dear,” Kitty beamed and clapped excitedly. “I’m so excited!”

“Uh,” Hyde said and raised his hand. “Do I have to come?”

“Yes,” Kitty and Y/n said in unison sternly.

“And wear a tie,” Y/n said.

“I don’t want to,” he responded stubbornly.

“Well, you’re gonna,” she snapped.

He looked at Kitty and Y/n and slumped his shoulders. “Fine. But, Mrs. Forman, can I speak to you privately in the living room, please?”

“For what?”

“I just need to speak to you.”

She looked to Y/n who shrugged her shoulders. Kitty and Steven stood up and made their way into the living room.

“What do you want to talk about, Steven?” Kitty asked him and clasped her hands together in front of her.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” he began and scratched his neck. “I’m not very good at apologizing and stuff, but I’ve always looked at you as a mom, especially because you took me in and took care of me as if I was your own and I owe you an apology. I understand if you’re angry with me and you have every right to be. I disrespected you and Red by going behind your back with Y/n and lying to you and I deeply regret that, but I need you to know that I don’t regret Y/n. I truly do care about her and…I do love her. I know this was probably a shock for you, but I promise to do whatever I can to take care of her. I’m not sure if Y/n told you, but I took a job with my dad at his company.

“I just want you to know that even though you may not think I’m the right person for your daughter, I promise you I am. I know I’m not perfect, but I think I’m good enough for her and she’s definitely more than enough for me.”

Kitty looked at her foster son with blurry eyes. “Oh, Steven,” she whimpered and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He gratefully accepted her embrace. “You’re such a good boy. Thank you. I love you so much.” She pulled away and looked at him. “Yes, I am a little angry about the situation and trust me, we will be having a talk later, but please don’t worry about me. It’s Red we need to worry about.”

“I’ll have to run before he can put his foot in my ass,” he replied.

“Oh, I won’t let that happen,” she said and patted his arm.

“Thank you, Mrs. Forman.”

She smiled at him before they went back into the kitchen.

                                   --Time Skip—

           “For the last time, I told you I don’t want a freakin’ wedding!” Steven raised his voice at Y/n.

“Well, I do, dammit!” Y/n shouted back.

“What’s the point? We can still celebrate with everyone after we sign the piece of paper!”

“I’m not asking for anything big here, Steven!” she growled. “I’m asking for a simple wedding. Why is that so much to ask?”

“Because it cost a lot!”

“Alright let the moth out of your wallet you cheap ass,” Y/n snapped. “We’re going to be spending more on this baby and any other future children we may have than a wedding. The wedding doesn’t even have to be big! It could just be all of us and my grandparents. Why are you being so difficult about this?”

“Because I don’t want a wedding!”

“Uhm,” Eric called out awkwardly from the couch. “Some of us are trying to watch TV here. Care to take it outside?”

“No!” the couple said in unison.

“Y/n listen to me,” Jackie said and stood up. “Getting Steven to even marry anybody is a miracle. Take it from me.”

“Yeah, he told me that last night,” Y/n spit.

“You said that to her? BURN!” Kelso shouted, but then instantly cowered when Y/n and Hyde threw daggers at him.

Y/n rolled her eyes and turned back to Steven. “I want us to have pictures to remember this day. So, we’ll need a photographer.”

“If you need a photographer to remember something like this, then we have bigger problems,” Hyde deadpanned.

Y/n groaned in frustration. “God, you’re impossible! Come on, just something from you.”

Hyde shook his head. “No. And that’s final.”

“Fine,” she huffed. “But you get to tell my mom why she won’t plan our wedding.” She flipped her hair and sat down on the couch, crossing her arms. “And by the way, you’re going to be the one to deal with her wrath. Not me.”

Steven titled his back and looked up at the ceiling, groaning. “Fine! We’ll have a wedding, but it won’t be big. Just us, no extra relatives, we’ll have it in the backyard, beer, and spaghetti, and a small cake. No dressing up, nothing.”

“Or,” Y/n said coyly and sauntered back up to him. “It’s just us and my grandparents, somewhere outdoors with Pastor Dave, a decent sized cake, some dressing up, and 1 main plate of food with 2 sides. Beer and champagne.”

He looked down at her, trying so hard to be mad, but her puppy dog eyes made him melt. “Fine.”

She smiled widely for him. “Okay!” She gave him a quick peck and sat back down on the couch.

“Aweeee,” the gang cooed.

“Shut it!” Hyde barked.

“Who’s going to be your maid of honor?” Jackie pushed. “I’m not saying it should be me, but it should be me.”

“Yeah, and who is going to be your best man?” Kelso asked and pointed at himself. “Me,” he whispered.

“Hang on, guys,” Donna said. “Let’s not put too much pressure on them. It’s their wedding. Let them decide who.”

Y/n gave her an appreciative smile. “Thank you, Donna.”

“Oh, she’s just sucking up to you so you’d pick her!” Jackie cried out. “ Y/n, if you pick me, I’m rich, so I can give you the bachelorette party of your dreams. I can help with the wedding too.”

Y/n puckered her lips and looked up, thinking. “That does sound nice.”

“What, no! That’s crap,” Donna exclaimed. “I’ve been there for her this whole time, I think I deserve to be maid of honor.”

“Oh, what have you brought to the table, Big Foot?” Jackie spit.

“Listen, here Midget, I was the first person who knew about her and Hyde, the first to know about the pregnancy, AND kept it a secret until she was ready to tell the others. She trusts me more. Being rich doesn’t make you a better friend than me.”

Jackie gasped theatrically. “You take that back!”

Donna smirked at her. “No.”

“Bitch!”

“Skank!”

“GIRL FIGHT!” Kelso hollered. “Eric, quick, get a pool of mud and we can watch them fight for honor.”

“Alright, alright, alright, stop. Both of you,” Y/n cut in, trying to prevent them from ripping at each other. “I still have Laurie to think about.”

Donna and Jackie scoffed and rolled their eyes at her.

“You really want the queen of whores to be your maid of honor?” Hyde asked her.

Y/n thought about it for a minute. “No, not really. But she’s still an option.”

“Okay, well, while you ladies figure out your issue, we have a bigger one at hand,” Fez said and down on the coffee, facing Hyde who was now sitting in his chair. “Who’s going to be the best man? Me.”

“Nuh uh, I wanna be!” Kelso argued.

“Hey, if anybody deserves to be best man, it should be me,” Eric piped up. “I think it’s already a given why I deserve this role.”

“Why you deserve it?” Hyde repeated. “This isn’t a play, man.”

“Come on, man. I made you the godfather of my daughter,” Kelso said, giving him the puppy eyes.

“Or, how about the one who’s related to the bride? And who gave him a home when he became an orphan?” Eric said.

“Don’t pull that crap on me, Forman,” Hyde said, making a face at him. “You also forget how you reacted and tried to kick me out.”

“I was just preparing you for what’s going to happen with Red,” Eric defended, albeit rather weakly.

“Well, we got to figure something out,” Jackie said and stood, adjusting her shirt. “Why don’t we pull straws?”

“Or how bout we race?” Fez said. “I can outrun all of you sons of bitches.” He beamed with pride.

“No, we’re not going to do any of that,” Y/n said. “Let me and Steven decide, okay?”

“Good ‘cause I’m not running,” Jackie said. “Jackie Burkhart doesn’t sweat.”

“Or how ‘bout we go with the two most good looking people in this room?” Kelso suggested. “So, me and Jackie.”

Jackie nodded. “I second that!”

“NO,” Hyde and Y/n said in unison.

Kelso and Jackie huffed and sat down on the couch and chair, pouting.

“Please, guys, let us get through tonight and then we’ll decide,” Y/n begged. “Right now we just want to get through the night alive. My dad is going to tear us to shreds.”

“Oh, why wouldn’t he?” Eric asked sarcastically. “Not only are you secretly dating the orphan boy living in his house, you’re having his baby and getting married.”

“Actually, it wasn’t so secretive,” Y/n mentioned. “Mom’s known for weeks.”

“What? How?!” Eric asked.

“I don’t know, but she’s not as naïve as I thought.”

“Oh, crap,” Eric said wide eyed. “That means she probably found my magazines!”

“What magazines?” Donna asked.

“Uh,” Eric stuttered while Y/n smirked at her dumbass twin. “S-some good ol’ fashioned…classy magazines.”

“Nice,” Y/n said, thoroughly amused.

“Uh huh, sure,” Donna said, but let it go.

“So, are you guys nervous about telling Mr. Red?” Fez asked.

“Oh, I’m just short of completely and utterly terrified,” Y/n responded.

“Yeah, what she said,” Hyde responded and gestured for Y/n to sit in his lap. “But, this is something we have to do. We messed up and now we have to make up for it.”

“Or make a run for it,” Fez said, giggling. “See what I did there?”

Y/n chuckled lightly, loving his sweet and innocent sense of humor. “You’re not wrong. My dad is a very scary man.”

“But you’re his little girl. I don’t think he’s going murder you,” Eric said. “It’s clear that you’re the favorite.”

“Even if that were true, you know who is the one who’s going to get murdered,” Jackie said and pointed at Steven. “You. You better get your running shoes on now.”

“Ha ha very funny. Listen, I think once he calms down and realizes that being blinded by rage isn’t going to change anything, he’ll come around,” Steven said.

Everyone looked at him as if he had grown a third head.

“Are you just now meeting my dad?” Eric asked.

“All I’m saying is that there isn’t much he can do at this point,” Hyde defended. “Mrs. Forman will be there.”

“Yeah, to tell you to run,” Eric said.

“He’s right, though,” Donna said. “Besides getting scary and pink, nothing’s going to change.”

“What do you expect him to do though?” Eric asked. “Sit there and tell you congratulations?”

Y/n shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Yeah,” her twin scoffed. “After he cheers and tosses his poms poms into the air.”

The group fell silent as the image of Red fell into their heads.

“You’re pregnant?” Red asked as the teens started trembling in their seats.

“Now, Daddy, please let me explain—” Y/n began before Red jumped up from his seat.

“That’s great!” he boasted with a broad smile and somehow brought out two poms poms from behind him. “Let’s cheer!”

He started hopping up and down, shouting, “P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T!”

“What’s happening?” Hyde asked, staring at Eric who continued to play the scene out for them.

“Who’s going to be a grandpa?” Red cheered. “Me! G-R-A-N-D-P-A! WhooOOooOO!”

 He started jumping up and down like a teenage girl.

“That was unpleasant,” Y/n commented once Eric was finished.

“You got the cheer wrong,” Jackie commented.

“What?” Eric asked, directing his attention to her.

“Yeah, you’re supposed to go—”

“I don’t care,” he cut her off lazily.

The gang chuckled before Y/n looked down at her watch. “The party is in an hour. Honey, you need to get ready.”

“It only takes me two minutes to get ready,” Steven argued.

“You still need to figure out what you’re going to wear.”

“I’m wearing this,” he said and gestured towards his current outfit.

Y/n hummed unamused. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re really not.”

“ Y/n, I’m wearing this and that’s final.”

“Or, you can wear a tie and still have sex tonight.”

Eric rolled his eyes as he forced that mental image out of his head.

Hyde grunted. “Fine.”

He got up and followed Y/n into his room to pick out the outfit he would be wearing.

“Well, I better go pick up Brooke before she gets mad at me again,” Kelso said begrudgingly. “Man, you forget a woman one time at the store and suddenly you’re ‘irresponsible’ and ‘immature.’ You make one small mistake and she never lets you live it down!” Michael rolled his eyes as he walked out the door.

“And I better go pick up Nina,” Fez said. “She’s super foxy and the best part, I get to see her everyday! It really pays off to be dating your boss.”

“You’re dating your boss?” Eric asked.

“Yeah you don’t want to date anyone within the workplace,” Donna said. “This spells disaster.”

“Yeah, but she’s so spicy,” Fez said.

“See and I don’t care. So, I’m just going to go home,” Jackie said and stood by Fez.

“You’re just mad because you’re not going to this party,” Donna stated.

“Yeah! I just had to be the one without a boyfriend and to add salt to the wound, I won’t be there when Mr. Forman finds out.”

“Finds out about what?” Red asked as he came down the stairs.

Fez’s eyes widened. “Bye,” he squeaked and fumbled for the door and whipped it open, running for the hills, leaving Jackie behind.

“Is that kid on dope? Because if he is, I don’t want him in my house” Red asked before turning towards the washer and dryer. “I’m looking for my blue shirt. Your mother is insistent I wear it tonight. I’d rather be back in Korea than go to this damn thing.”

“Yeah, that’s a real kicker, there, DAD,” Eric shouted dramatically, hoping to have Y/n hear and for the love of God to NOT come out of Hyde’s room.

Red gave Eric a look. “Son, are you on dope too?”

Eric laughed uncomfortably. “No, no, not at all, DAD.”

“Yeah, MR. FORMAN. Nothing going on here,” Donna said and gave him a fake smile.

Red shook his head in confusion and pulled his shirt out of the dryer. “Damn teenagers,” he mumbled and sulked back upstairs.

Once he was out of earshot, Eric and Donna huffed and leaned into the couch while Jackie continued to stay by the door. “You know, maybe it’s good that I won’t be here. I don’t want to be here to help clean up the blood. See ya!”

“Yeah,” Eric and Donna said lazily as Jackie walked out the door.

“That was a close one,” Donna said. “After tonight, this will all be over.”

Eric rubbed his face. “God, I hope so.”

“Was that Dad?” Y/n asked, coming out of Steven’s room with him trailing behind her.

“Yeah, it was. He’s gone now,” Eric replied.

“Thanks, you guys. You have no idea how much we appreciate that,” Y/n said. “I promise tonight will be the last. Once Red knows then it will hopefully be over.”

“Or the start of a blood bath,” Donna snickered.

“Real funny,” Y/n said and headed towards the stairs. “I’m going to go change. I’ll see you guys in a few minutes.”

“I’ll go with you. Can I borrow a shirt?” Donna said, joining Y/n on the stairs.

“Yeah, sure. Which one are you thinking?”

“Well, I was thinking…”

Their conversation drifted off as the guys sat on the couch. Eric noticed Hyde wearing a nice shirt and a tie with a pair of black jeans.

 “Wow, Hyde, I didn’t know you even owned a pair of black jeans,” Eric said and batted his eyes. “You look so handsome!” Before he could keep going, a pillow was thrown in his face to muffle his taunting.

                                                                                                                 —Time Skip—

           “Alright, everybody!” Kitty said excitedly as she came through the door into the living room. She set down a plate of hors d'oeuvres on the table. “Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.”

She looked around the room to see Y/n and Steven, Eric and Donna, Kelso and Brooke, Bob and his date, Joanne, but no Laurie or Fez. “Where’s Fez?”

“He went to go pick up his date,” Y/n responded. “He’ll be here soon.”

“Oh, okay. Sounds good. Well, you look very pretty tonight, Y/n ,” Kitty said, gesturing towards her dress.

Y/n wore a maroon colored, high low dress that was decorated with orange, white, and blue floral print with long and flowing sleeves. She wore knee high brown boots to match with the dress. Her long hair was flat ironed down her waist as she sported hoop earrings.

“Oh, thank you, Mom,” she said and smoothed out her dress. “You look pretty too.” Kitty wore a nice red dress with short sleeves and a sweet heart neckline. “Donna, Joann, and Brooke look very pretty too.”

Donna and Joann smiled at Y/n who sported normal flowered bell bottoms and a plain and elegant baby pink top. While Brooke, wore simple, yet stylish, emerald green maxi dress with a white dress cardigan and strappy black heels.

“I told you, you looked pretty,” Bob said to Joanne who smiled at him.

“You think I look pretty?” Brooke beamed, feeling relieved. “Thank you so much. Ever since I had Betsy, it’s been hard to go out, let alone dress up.”

Kelso snorted. “I know.”

Brooke glared at him before turning her attention away from him with a hurt expression.

“Steven, would you mind?” Y/n asked.

“It’ll be my pleasure,” he responded before connecting his fist to Kelso’s shoulder.

“Ow!” Kelso shouted, holding his shoulder. “The hell, man?”

“You don’t say that to the woman who just had your baby, you moron!” Y/n scorned. “Brooke looks lovely and you should definitely acknowledge that, you dillhole.”

“I did!”

“I believe your exact words were, ‘Wow, you look hot. Wanna do it?’” Brooke said, imitating Kelso.

“But you do!” he defended.

“Alright, kids,” Kitty said as she handed Red an hors d'oeuvre.

“Hey, if this is a couple’s dinner, then why is Y/n and Steven here?” Bob asked.

Y/n’s heart caught in her throat and Hyde shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, we just wanted to come,” Y/n lied.

“Did ya now?” Red asked suspiciously. “If that’s the case, then why is Steven here?”

“Uh, you know,” Hyde responded nervously and cleared his throat. “Free food.”

“Uh huh,” Red responded unconvinced.

“I asked them to come,” Kitty said, stepping in. “I—uh—”

Laurie walked into the room, unsuspecting of her mother flying over to her.

“I also invited Laurie!” she said, gripping her oldest daughter’s arm and dragging her to the couch.

“What? No, you didn’t—”

“Sshh, shut up, I did and you get five bucks out of this,” Kitty murmured in her ear as Laurie smiled, quickly accepting and sat down on the floor next to the table.

“Hellooooo! Me and Nina are here!” Fez called in, stumbling in through the door. “Please, meet my lovely and hot date, Nina.”

“Fez,” the short haired girl blushed and turned to the group. “Hi!”

“Fez, are you drunk?” Hyde asked.

“I had to pregame before I came!” he announced.

“Fez, you realize you’re not supposed to get drunk when you pregame,” Y/n said. “Only buzzed.”

“And how would you know that?” Red asked.

“Public school. Everybody knows that,” Y/n lied. Sort of.

“Okay, well, let’s just get this party started so I can go to bed,” Red said begrudgingly.

                                                       —Time Skip—

            Later on that evening, when everyone had finished eating and was now enjoying dessert, Fez was enjoying his third glass of kahlua. Kitty had allowed the kids to have small glass of it, but Fez was finishing off Hyde’s and going for Y/n’s.

“Y/n, do you not like your drink?” Red asked.

“Kind of. It’s a little too sweet,” she lied and felt her heart drop. She hated lying to her dad. He trusted her so much. Now, he was going to lose any ounce of pride he had in her. She turned to Kitty, wanting now more than ever to get this over with. “Hey Mom, I think it’s time.”

“No. Not right now,” Kitty shook her head vigorously who was cleaning up the dessert plates. “He hasn’t had enough yet.”

“Time for what?” Red asked.

The mother and daughter ignored him.

“I have to tell him.” Y/n stood from the couch and faced Kitty. “I can’t hold it in anymore.”

“ Y/n, don’t,” Kitty warned, pleading her.

“Tell. Me. What?” Red asked, growing impatient.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just say it and get it over with?”

“Y/n, stop,” Steven piped up, eyeing Red who was now standing behind Y/n.

“For the love of God, tell me what?!”

“To tell you that Y/n is pregnant with Hyde’s baby!” Fez drunkenly shouted, causing the air in the room to still. “Oh, and they’re also getting married!”

Everyone in the room held their breath as they stared at Red.

“Fez, why?” Y/n trembled.

“Well, you weren’t going to say it, so I did.”

“Remind me to kick your ass later,” she seethed and turned around to face her father.

“Y/n, the foreign kid better be lying,” Red threatened, his voice wavering.

Her gaze fell to the floor, not able to keep eye contact with him. Her throat suddenly felt dry and she couldn’t find the words to speak. She swallowed thickly and shook her head.

“I swear to God, if this is some kind sick joke…” Red trailed off and looked around at everyone, seeing their horrified and sullen faces. “Are you really pregnant? With Steven’s baby?!”

Y/n cringed and dared herself to look up at him. “I’m sorry, Daddy, but yes.”

“Wow, I picked a great night to stay home,” Laurie beamed.

Red’s eyes darted to Steven who was visibly sweating. “YOU!”

Kitty was shaking as she stared at the scene in front of her in fright. “Run, honey, run!”

Hyde didn’t hesitate to jump off the couch and sprinted to the front door. Red was on his tail immediately.

“You son of a bitch!” Red roared as he ran after Hyde.

Luckily Hyde was faster as he ripped the door open and made his way down the street with Red running after him like a mad man.

Taglist:  @jeeperky​ @05-feet-off-the-table-06​ @cooloclown​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @taysirene @ xxivy-32 

[glassartpeasants]

Lovely

Tomura Shigaraki x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, cheating, 

A/N: (edit) To all that have seen the first authors note, don’t mind it. I was supposed to finish this awhile ago but never got around to it until now. But yes crying in the club is still going on it’s just on hiatus. But i promise its not going to be as long as the Hero wannabe hiatus. So either way enjoy it lol

~~~

You were no idiot, you saw the way he looked at her. Hearts in his eyes, stutters on his words, face red. All the tell tale signs of someone falling in love. It would have been sweet and cute if the person wasn’t your boyfriend.

Distance. That’s how it’s always been. No matter what you did you could never get Shigaraki to fully trust you. It was a struggle to even convince him to be your boyfriend and it was even more of a struggle to see people get way closer to him then you ever could. It hurt. You would make him food, give him gifts and everything under the sun cause you loved him. Honestly you feel like the only reason he said yes was out of pity. And that hurt even worse.

So you just watched. Watched as your boyfriend fall in love for another. You tried asking him about it and all he said was ‘it doesn’t matter, calm down jesus.’ which didn’t give you much comfort.

“Am I really that annoying?” You thought as you looked at your phones lock screen. Showing a picture of you and Shigaraki together. Normally looking at this picture would make you happy. But once getting a closer look, you see the reflection in his eyes as he stared at something while you took the picture. You try to get a closer look and let out a little sob once you saw the familiar body shape of the woman that Shigaraki wanted.

You open your phone and go to gallery. Immediately deleting said picture. You wanted one that just had you two in it. One where you both looked genuinely happy. Searching, searching, and searching only for nothing to come up. All of them he was frowning. You put your phone on your bed before fully collapsing on your bed. Sobs racked your body as you try to find excuses and reasons why he loves you.

But you couldn’t think of any.

~~~

You sat there, anger boiling inside you as you watched as that girl flirted with Shigaraki. And he didn’t say anything about having a girlfriend! Everyone could sense the tension in the room. Everyone wondering who would make the first move. You or Shigaraki. The last straw for you was when she kissed him on the cheek.

You stood up throwing your hands on the table startling everyone. You sent daggers at Shigaraki while you stomped out of the room. Slamming the door shut along the way. Anyone that passed you could obviously sense your untrained anger.

You walked to your room and got some clothes, shoving them in a backpack. You weren’t leaving forever just leaving for a little bit to clear your mind. You’ve watched this shit go down for how long? Watching as your boyfriend flirted with other women.

Putting the backpack straps over your shoulders you walk out of the  bar doors and into the alleyway.No words were exchanged with anyone when you left. They only saw you leave. No explanation. They didn’t even know where you were going. Which concerned them. Were you leaving them? Everyone seemed confused and interested at the drama that followed there new leader and his probably ex-girlfriend.

~~~

Shigaraki sat at his desk in his room. Lights off as the darkness consumed most of the room where his computer screen light couldn’t reach. His fingers tapping on the keys in furious manners as he watched closely, trying to stay alive.

“And here I am thinking I’m an asshole.” Shigaraki jumped causing his character to die. He turned to the burnt male, glaring at him with all his might.

“You are.” Shigaraki growled.

“At least I’m not the type of guy that cheats.” Dabi gave Shigaraki a deadpanned look.

“What the hell do you mean ashtray?”

“Oh please hand man, everyone knows your fucking that chick that keeps flirting with you.” Dabi sends Shigaraki a glare. Did he not see that you were hurting? Dabi was always protective since he saw you as a little sister.

“The hell do you mean? I haven’t been fucking anyone.”

“Thats a bunch of bullshit. You know that the girl that keeps flirting with you. That girl is probably only with you to be higher up. Unlike (y/n) who truly loves your selfish ass.”  Shigaraki only rolled his eyes before turning back to his screen.

“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone Shigaraki.” Dabi turned around and went to close the door behind him.

“And said thing is slipping through your fingers.”

~~~

“Yeah Dabi I’m fine. I just had to leave for a bit. I can only take so much ya know?” You spoke into the phone. Dabi had called you asking if you were okay. In which you told him that you just needed time to yourself.

“What do you think I should do? I can’t stand watching that girl flirt with him any longer. I feel as if I truly do mean nothing to him.” You felt tears rolling down your face as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Picking yourself apart trying to find whats so wrong with you that Shigaraki can’t love you.

“Dump him?” The thought of leaving Shigaraki burned your entire being. How could you just leave? Dabi made it sound so easy. But deep down inside you knew he was right. You never wanted to admit it but facing the facts seemed easier than just slowly suffering, watching as the man you adore never any attention to you.

“You know what. I’ll give him one more chance. If he fucks it up Ill dump him, I promise Dabi. Okay? See you later, bye.” You throw your phone on the hotel bed before flopping on the bed looking up at the ceiling. Breathing softly before you hold your knees to your chest. Hugging them as the overwhelming pain of sadness drifted you to sleep.

~~~

“Hey Shigaraki, I’m back. I even brought you McDonalds!” Well more or less stole it when the employee was handing it to the customer through the drive through window. But you thought it would do some good to try and be a good girlfriend.

But as soon as you open the door you heart drops and so does the McDonalds bag. There was your boyfriend, and that girl in bed. Having sex. Tears glazed over your eyes as you slam the door shut. stomping away. You try to rub away the tears that fell from your eyes. 

Fuck this, fuck Shigaraki and fuck the LOV. You don’t need them. You don’t need anybody! You can do whatever you want. You don’t need some cheating dick to tell you what to do. You can make a name for yourself! Be your own villain! Start your own organization! It will be better then the LOV could ever be!

Grabbing all your things, which wasn’t much, and shoving them all in a singular suitcase. It was heavy, but you rather be holding this than stay here. 

“(Y/N) where are you going?!” Dabi asked you, watching you leave out the bar door without a word.

~~~

(One day later)

Shigaraki sat at his little desk playing some video games when his stomach growled loudly. He let out a little huff before getting up and heading to the kitchen for dinner. He wondered what it was tonight. 

He walked into the kitchen only to see no one. No food on the table, nothing even started. Shigaraki scratched his neck a little irrated and went to your room only to see nothing. It was stripped dry. Like no one lived here in years.

Where was all your stuff? An unfamiliar feeling grew in Shigaraki’s stomach. What was this? Whatever this feeling was he hated it with a passion.

Scratching his neck with more vigor this time. Where were you? 

“Dabi have you seen-” Dabi’s fist had connected to Shigaraki’s face, knocking off father.

“Are you fucking serious you asshole? Who knew that you of all people would be a cheater.” Dabi growled at Shigaraki who in return punched him back. There were fists were flying as each other tied to get a winning hit on the other one.

“SHIGARAKI AND DABI! STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!” Kurogiri yelled at them as he teleported both men into there rooms. Dabi could be heard screaming at Shigaraki from his room and Shigaraki screaming at Dabi from his.

~~~

One week later

You laid down in the alleyway you back against a brick wall as the rain from that night soaked you. Your hair sticking to your face. Well at least this was some form of a shower right? Sighing you put your drenched hood up and hide your face into your knees crying as you hit rock bottom. 

To say it was cold was an understatement. It was fucking freezing! The cold wind combined by the rain made it feel like you were going to freeze to death. Well at least if you freeze to death you would never see his stupid face ever again-

“What happened to you? Why are you in the streets?” A voice called out to you. Sniffling you look up and see a man with auburn hair  looking down at you.

“I...my boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me for another girl...” You say as the pain was obvious in your voice.

“Such a shame, you seem as the kind to do anything for their lover.”

“Yeah i guess.”

“Well may i ask if your one for revenge?” His question made you arch an eyebrow as you look at him.

“Well at times yeah.”

“I’ll make you a deal, work for me and you’ll never be lonely again. We’ll think of a revenge plan for your lover, but that is if you work for me.” You looked up at the man and saw 2 more emerge from the darkness. You sat on the ground thinking for a bit before slowly getting up and nodding your head.

“Good, the names Overhaul. I’ll be your boss from now on.”

To be continued?....

[familyagrestefanblog]

Jackady: The importance of the father-son hug scene

One of my favorite Adrien-Gabriel moments to this day is still the ending scene of "Jackady" but I have seen more confusion for it than clarity in the Fandom so here is my analysis on it for why I love it so much. Because as the seasons go by this moment sustaines so much more significance that I simply HAVE to talk about it!

While it isn't the only Adrien-Gabriel scene that does it, I adore this scene because it shows perfectly that in the beginning their little, broken family could have made it out of this tragedy stronger and maybe even better but the reality that Adrien and Gabriel are also Chat Noir and Hawkmoth not only hinders those chances, it actively drives them further apart into destruction

Maybe one day I'll give all my thoughts to the entire scene and just go on a rambling post about it (because I love EVERYTHING about this scene) but for now, let's just focus on the main aspects that really sell it to me.

I give Gabriel alot of shit on my blog for obvious reasons. I refuse to generally give him the same positive and conciderate treatment as Adrien, Marinette and the other kid characters because unlike them HE is an adult, a father and the villain of the show. The adult and villain part I'm not taking too personal because those are "just" the traditional aspects of his character type. But what is incredibly unique about him is the fact that even if he is this evil villain type he still gets to be the realistic type of abusive and (truly) bad father with sympathetic moments like this:

This moment of shock and fear is not something you would normally see in a family cartoon from an evil parental figure the child longs to bond with without setting the parent up for redemption. But as we now know by s3, Gabriel is only getting increasingly worse and more abusive and Adrien is starting to let go of his father to move on without him and defying his will. It's quite clear now that their future will not be anywhere near good, "Chat Blanc" showed us what's to come.

And this is exactly why I love this scene. Because, yes, this family will go up in flames and never truly reconcile ever again (Gabriel went WAY too far for that in the way he abuses/will abuse Adrien) but the show doesn't shy away from showing us the transitional phase in between which really not alot of media dares to. Normally when they stay enemies or their situation doesn't end in an at least somewhat forgiving way this transition is simply mostly skipped to not having to let the bad parent have realistic and sympathetic moments in their downfall into madness/villainy (especially with their victim).

Miraculous does and it's beautifully tragic because you can just... SEE the situation unfold and understand where the eventual fate of the family comes from.

The pure misunderstanding between these two in this scene, the way they just talk RIGHT PAST each other because the other one can not understand the problem cuz they don't know the secret identity of the other one is... brutal!

This moment here could have worked for them. It could have been a genuine step forward in their relationship and saved their family but it got completely CRUSHED by their secret identities as Chat Noir and Hawkmoth.

Let me show you what I mean:

THIS is a moment I AM giving Gabriel genuine credit for, because you can turn it any way you want it won't change the fact that, for his situation, THIS was the right question to ask his son. But at the same time it's just such a... horrible thing to say here oh my GOD.

And that's the ugly, UGLY beauty here.

If Gabriel weren't Hawkmoth (if someone else were Hawkmoth so the situation would still have happened) he would not have reacted to the fucking ring. He would have thought nothing of it and had remained focused on Adrien, because that was his original intention (problematically executed but that's beside the point now).

After Gabriel got himself in life threatening danger because he didn't listen to Adriens concerns, he went to him to hug him as apology. THIS is Gabriels way of apologizing and trying to make up for his faults. He's obviously not good at verbalizing his feelings properly and at normal interpersonal dynamics in general. So what he does is trying to make his feelings known in a... "material/physical" way. This does not only show through Gabriel just buying the best things for Adrien without ever being there for him, it also shows in the way he physically interacts with his loved ones when he genuinely wants to show his love. Because for how seriously antisocial and unreachable as he normally is, he also gets... quite touchy.

The shoulder touch thing Adrien does as well to show his affection for someone, him hugging Adrien both times he got a wake up call and literally everything thats happening between him and Natalie at this point lol.

Him hugging Adrien here is just as much of a big deal as Adriens expressions make it seem to be

But the father-son moment couldn't last because the villain-hero alter egos interfered. Gabriel being Hawkmoth rightfully stopped the moment here, because reacting to even the slightest chance of your own child being the hero you try to destroy is undoubtedly the right way to handle this (even if the way he did it wasn’t ideal, that's not something I would expect from any character in that situation), but nevertheless it still utterly crushed the moment.

Cuz just because it is the right thing for HAWKMOTH to ask his son Adrien who he fears COULD be Chat Noir, doesn't it mean that it is anywhere close to okay for Adrien/Chat Noir to hear this very question in that moment from his father who he thinks as a normal civilian in this.

And Adriens expression once again makes this perfectly clear

(You know the offense just reached an other dimension when the kid, who is already well aware and used to their fathers emotionally painful ways, makes a face like THAT)

Cause here is the thing. We all know by now that Adrien has some serious self esteem issues and that while he tries to over play it (especially as Chat) he just doesn't hold himself in high regards or even likes himself very much. Hence why he goes all out on the acting as Chat Noir and doesn't defend himself much.

But just because he doesn't like himself that much doesn't it mean he still doesn't want that very validation and appreciation from his father. Just like all of us and everyone on earth, Adrien wants to be loved for himself, even if he doesn't/can't do it himself. Thats normal and is something that can deeply damage you when you don't get it from your own parent/s.

So tell me, do you see why Adrien was so CRUSHED when in probably the first time since his mother's disappearance Gabriel gave him the genuine and all present love he wanted for so long, just for Gabriel to cut their moment short and FOCUSE ON THE RING?

The one thing on Adrien that makes him become "someone else" so he can escape from having to be himself for a bit.

And for Adrien it now seems like that in his own fathers eyes this ONE thing Gabriel shouldn't even know could be anything special about if he weren't Hawkmoth, is the ONLY thing worth noticing about his own son so it catches his eyes.

It tells Adrien right to the face that nothing Adrien was and did to make his father happy up to this point measured up with Gabriels expectations. All of Adriens efforts, his patience and his hopes of earning his fathers love and happiness if he only does well enough, literally in vain. It wasn't enough. It's wasn't enough for Gabriel to notice in comparison to the ring apperently.

From Adriens view you can interpret it two ways:

1. Since earlier Gabriel also took a closer look at Chat Noirs ring Adrien now thinks correctly that his father is seeing his new ring as a sign that he could be Chat Noir. This would mean that in Adriens eyes Gabriel would have cut their moment, an action of validation and love Adrien has longed, worked and patiently waited for so LONG, short and basically forgot all about Adrien himself because there is a SLIGHT possibility that Adriens ring means he COULD be Chat Noir. His own father literally choosing his secret identity over his civilian one as Adrien, the son Gabriel had for 14 years, is beyond crushing. And while it seems strange for Adrien to take offense in this because, well, he IS Chat Noir so what the big deal? The big deal here is, again, that as Chat Adrien is literally trying NOT to be himself. He uses the opportunity of being an anonymous hero to escape from having to be Adrien Agreste in every way he can. Gabriel throwing aside the son who is literally standing in front of him and who did his darn best to be there for him in his own time of grieving his mother to basically only focus on Chat Noir (a person Gabriel in the end of the day shouldn't and doesn't know) possibly being his son, is such a fucked up scenario to throw onto Adriens already low self esteem what the actual fuck.

Or 2. That Adrien simply takes his father choosing to focus on his "simple" new ring out of all things as a clear "I see nothing else worth noticing in you, so to keep this conversation up I have to grasp at straws so I guess I'll be taking about your new ring".

No matter how one chooses to interpret the moment, it's equally as much of a "fuck you" either way. I know Gabriel could have said worse here, but honestly, the list isn't that long.

So when after this Adrien reacts like this:

It should really not come by any surprise. Although, no, it is kind of surprising. Surprising that Adrien didn't react alot worse than this. What Gabriel just threw at him is like the verbal equivalent of a loved one reaching out for you with a hand so they can caress your cheek but the moment you lean in they follow it up with a punch to the face.

It shows just how well Adrien has his emotions under control and is able to stay level headed under such great offense that THIS is the level of irrationality and anger he expresses after basically being out right disregarded by his own father (which should be of no surprise either, as Chat Noir Adrien has to put up with a whole lot of disrespect as well and there he for literally 95% of the time has to shrug it off as well).

But no matter how bad Gabriels line here was, it has nothing and I mean NOTHING on the awful way Gabriel then decides to react to Adriens appropriate but still very mild response.

Because THIS is the moment that sets up Gabriels betrayal and downfall as both a person and especially as a father. Up to this point Gabriel was a horrible person as well, no question. The entirety of s1 he already worked as Hawkmoth, manipulating people, putting them in great danger and planning the demise of two teenagers with sadistic glee. But still one has to acknowledge the difference in these two situations.

In one Gabriel is hiding in a secret lair, manipulating people he thinks beneath him to do the dirty work for him and fight two anonymous heros he just wants to get rid of to reach his goal. Gabriel is taking so much pleasure out of terrorizing Paris and it's people because he legitimately doesn't give a single fuck about them or holds any kind of personal connection to them either. He never goes outside and is very antisocial so these people and their city mean nothing to him because they ARE nothing to him. His (self chosen) isolation and lifestyle pretty much disconnected Gabriel from real life and a normal way of expressing and receiving human emotions. So when there are no emotional stakes for him personally, he sees no reason to not satisfy his villainous desires as Hawkmoth.

So as odd as it may seem to say, him terrorizing Paris prior to this is not the point of crossing the line for his character. For that it's simply to impersonal.

No, the point of crossing the line happens here with Adrien. With Gabriels character things will always come back to Adrien at its core. Adrien (not Emilie, Natalie or anyone else) is the person Gabriel temporarily truly gave up being Hawkmoth for and Adrien is the one person Gabriel has his most human moments with. Not even in his bonding moments with Natalie does he show the same deep and true (misguided) love and affection as he gets to with Adrien in those rare moments (its close no doubt but something about Gabenath is not as deep and true as this father-son pair and I can't imagine it ever will).

This marks the point of no return for Gabriel because it's the first time he chose to deliberately abandon Adrien in the crossfire and decides to be the villain towards him instead of staying there to talk things out with him. It's the first time Adrien truly had Hawkmoth as his father. And Hawkmoth is Chat Noirs ememy so Gabriel fell into that role without Adrien knowing why.

And there is a solid reason for that.

One of the best things of this show is that no matter how horrible things get between these two, things are always much more complicated than a simple "evil father doesn't love his good son" situation. Gabriel calls Adrien "the image of perfection" in this very episode, that's sure as hell not hate or dislike in any way. That's love, that's adoration. This man ADORES his son. And this is were the deep rooted problem lies.

Gabriel loves and adores his SON. The ideal and perfectly perfect son Adrien could become when Gabriel is done forming him into it by suffocating any "imperfections" with an iron fist. It's just that these "imperfections" are always the characteristics that make Adrien ADRIEN. Gabriel may truly love his son but I'm not even sure if Gabriel even so much as LIKES Adrien himself.

And this is perfectly showcased by Gabriel turning away from Adrien in this very scene here.

Because even though Gabriel literally disrespected, shut down and belittled his son for the entire episode he still came to see and hug his Adrien afterwards because he loves him. But HIS Adrien, the perfectly perfect Adrien Gabriel wants him to be, wasn't the Adrien he met up with in his sons room. Instead he got an Adrien with a ring on his hand that could be Chat Noirs, making him possibly one of the two enemies he's trying to destroy.

Adding salt to the "wound" Adrien even backtalks him in a way that undoubtedly reminded him of Chat as well since Gabriel pointed out Chats temper in this very episode.

So Gabriel was very directly confronted with the possibility that Adrien could INDEED be Chat Noir and that naturally comes with the implications that Adrien deliberately disobeyed Gabriels orders accepting that ring, sabotaging Gabriel reaching his goal and in general doing everything his father DOESN'T want him to do BY CHOICE.

And here Gabriel made the decision that marks the point of no return, setting up the devastatingly horrible way this man is treating and will treat his son in the future.

Because this is the moment Gabriel SHOULD have chosen Adrien over his mission. The sheer possibility, no scratch that, even the SLIGHTEST TRACE of a possibility of Adrien being Chat Noir should have immediately made Gabriel take action to save and protect him. Because it's not like Chat hasn't been constantly in dangerous, life threatening or even situations that ended up in DEATH. If Gabriel would truly love ADRIEN his quest would have ended right here, stopping the upcoming horror this family will face before it could have really begun (hence why this was shown to us in an episode of s1, the season where Hawkmoths identity was still unknown. If Gabriel had stopped here not even WE would have known, leaving Gabriels name untainted of Hawkmoths crimes as the Agreste family finally moves on and Hawkmoth dissappeares as suddenly as he appeared.)

because Adrien and his health and life should not be a price Gabriel is willing to risk paying for his goal.

But Gabriel didn't do that.

Because instead of Adrien Gabriel chose the potential perfectly perfect son he wants and turned his back on the one standing right in front of him. Cuz remember what Gabriels goal IS. He wants to change the past, so non of this ever happened in the first place.

Meaning Gabriel turning his back on our present Adrien doesn't mean that Gabriel outright hates Adrien now by the next second cuz he dared to disobey his orders like that. But it means that Gabriel is choosing to separate these two Adriens in his mind, making endangering, hurting and working against THIS Adrien more of a collateral damage than actually hurting his own son. THAT son, the one Gabriel convinces himself he is fighting for, is waiting for him in the past alongside Emilie.

This separation was probably always there since Gabriel started trying to change the past hence why he justifies Adriens unhappiness and the way he abandones him as necessary sacrifices.

But the real separation started HERE, this marks the first time Gabriel just left Adrien behind in a position of complete and deliberate endangerment, knowing that the possibility of Adrien being Chat is still there but choosing to say: "if he indeed is, then that's an obstacle I will have to overcome."

This separation has been developing slowly but steadily through s2 and 3 right to "Chat Blanc" which tells us the future. Me elaborating on this "separation development" though became longer than I want to put in this post, therefore I will go into more depth about it another time.

So let me continue with this:

Adrien is like... Genuinely not even angry. More deeply sad.

He was appropriately and truly hurt when Gabriel only started talking about the ring but once Gabriel turns around and walks away? He looks after his father but more in a way as if he is waiting to see if Gabriel would actually take so much offense in him backtalking him to legitimately LEAVE like this. And Gabriel does.

Adriens intentions wasnt to make his father leave, When he talked back at him it was more of a hurt call out for Gabriel to say more, SOMETHING ELSE, but not to LEAVE!

Adrien then does something very common for people in a fight who wait for the leaving person to turn around again but have to realize that they hope in vain and the other person actually is done with this moment.

His face and body relaxes, he turns completely to the door and seems to... take it in.

Especially in the way Adrien does it here its like he is processing and accepting that what he thought of his father was wrong. Adrien thought Gabriel cared enough for him that he would want to stay even if he backtalks him for example. Adrien expected a conversation here but now had to realize that his father isn't gonna put up with him at all or their differences in an upfront way if Adrien isn't "behaving right". Gabriel will just cut the moment short and deflect whatever conversation with him he doesn't like.

All in all what Adrien took away from this moment with his father is even if Gabriel may care for him (enough to come and hug him as an apology) this care and affection is tightly bound to the way Adrien himself then reacts. If he reacts in a way Gabriel doesn't like he will very quickly deem Adrien undeserving of his affection and take it (and his entire presence) away again.

The way Adrien looks then at his ring also makes me think that he definitely blames himself for how this moment ended. That he "shouldn't have overreacted" and taken such personal offense by his fathers attempt to reconnect with him even if Gabriel hit one hell of a sore point.

This is of course BS. Even if Adrien wasn't Chat Noir the way Gabriel just straight up deflected the conversation to the ring right after the hug, where one normally starts to explain oneself and truly TALK, would have been seriously hurtful even under non-miraculous circumstances.

But it shows how Adrien by instinct immediately starts to invalidate his own feelings to look for the faults in himself. A self-hurtful coping mechanism that unfortunately only gets deepened as the dynamic between these two continues on. 

And lastly it also marks the first time that the ring is truly associated with something bad. Normally (especially so early in the show) the ring stands in association with Adriens freedom and spending more time with people outside, him getting to let loose a little and how he can spend time with the girl he loves. The ring began to loose these positive associations more and more from s2 onward but the first time was here.

It's the object which ruined the moment that could have ended this tragedy before it truly began in both of their eyes and in the viewers. Sure Gabriel being Hawkmoth is the true cause of it and nothing will ever change that but it's Adriens ring, not Gabriels brooch, that sets their separation further in motion. Further as Gabriel initially intended to.

It's the factor Gabriel overlooks Adrien himself for, which is truly brought home by the end scene of "Gorizilla" which serves as a mirror to this one here.

Whereas in "Jackady" Gabriel lost sight of the son right in front of him because of the ring and what its implies, in "Gorizilla" Gabriel thinks he finally received the evidence that Adrien isn't his enemy. So for the first time Gabriel completely disregards the ring, Chat Noir out of his mind, sees ADRIEN for himself and genuinely smiles at him. He can and does make a TRUE attempt at reconnecting!

Which is of course exactly what Adrien wanted for so long, what he hoped Gabriel would do if hes just patient enough with his father. He accepts Gabriels genuine attempt gladly, reassuring his father that he and his efforts are noticed, appreciated and wanted even after everything that happened so they can hopefully go on to a better future.

This is what would have saved this family back in "Jackady" if only Gabriel had chosen the right priority. But as I said before, this moment here happens in s2 after Gabriel crossed the line in Jackady, so this positiv moment can not save them anymore. Both Gabriel and Adrien are already too far in and influenced by their alter egos and the miraculous. So the brief reconnection couldn't last and everything continues to only further fall apart ever since.

And it all began with this beautiful, heartbreaking and tragic moment in "Jackady" these two will never ever be able to truly come back from again.

[usermaha]

omggg hi! 25 21 update pleaseee! fav characters, fav scenes and so on. rant your head off, please and thank you

finally someone asked me to talk about this show (i wouldve still talked about it but still thanks) im halfway thru Episode 5 btw.

Characters:

Na Heedo: remember how i said i want to protect her after reading your synopsis? the adoption papers are under process right now. she feels like a younger sister, so full of life, so full of hope, full of joy and bravery. she is so simple in her view in life, she has barely any forethought. she no has filter in her expression, and that makes her such a genuine and caring person. Her smiles the widest smile ive ever seen (im obsessed with her smile btw), then in the next scene her eyes are teary. she screams, she whines, she even throws her body around. bc she lives her life dramatically. and given the nature of the show i know she’ll grow up and time will take these things away from her. and i want to protect her from all of that. the faith that she has in herself. when no one believes that she has it in her, when she has no achievements to show for herself. She decides fencing is her destiny, she decides she’ll reach the top, and she makes it happen. For her, liking fencing, the excitement it makes her feel, is reason enough to stand against all the disbelief. I wish i had that too.

Baek Yijin: i intially thought he is the love interest former rich kid and i couldnt care less about him. Guess who was bawling her eyes out in Ep 2? I quickly realized that he is the one dealing with the actual adult repercussions of the IMF crisis. He used to be fun and popular, he had good grades, he wanted to go to NASA. but overnight he lost his dream, and most importantly, his family. watching him face humiliation after humiliation, worry over his brother, yearn for contact with his father, broke my heart. its easy to forget, he is just 22, too young to stand on his feet and face the creditors hounding at his door. He had his whole life ahead of him, and now all the good things in his life are gone. I remember the look in his face in the school flashback. I want that back for him. I want his happiness back.

Ko Yurim: i think the writers are showing her from a distant POV right now and will go in-depth with her character later. but yes i do have some resentment for her. I am genuinely confused as to why she cant stand Heedo. If its simply because she is worried that she’ll overtake her, im sorry but that’s not a good look. I understand the pressure she feels to follow up her gold medal, but unfortunately as of right now that doesnt balance it out for me.

Heedo’s Mom: i know she means well. but her view at her daughter is incomplete, she doesnt even know who she is, what she wants. and the parts she does see are always the ones she interprets negatively. she doesnt believe in her, and that ‘rejection’, you might say, hurts her deeply. That hits too close to home. Usually all that a kid want from parents is their support. They want them to accept them, for their achievements and their mistakes. And not getting that can haunt children forever. “That’s who you are to me. You’re someone i dont want to talk to” 💔

Coach Yang: she is so funny, and the accent, i keep trying to copy it lol. i initially thought that she’d be the tough love kind of coach, but i was surprised that from time to time she praised Heedo and made her aware of her little achievements and her strengths, and also valuable insight on the specific things she needs to work on. Like Heedo mentions in her monolouge, other than Yijin, she is the only one who has shown trust in her.

There hasnt been too much on Jiwoong and Seungwan’s characters yet so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Jiwoong is a damn smooth flirter. he doesnt come off pushy, and his compliments feel genuine. Yurim seems to respond, the coast is clear given that she actually moves on from Yijin lol.

And Seungwan im really intrigued by bc she’s the top student and i immediately empathize lol. and another reason why i wanted to watch the show was that i saw a gifset of a scene between her and her mom. and i really need to get to the context of the scene.

So this was supposed to have a General Thoughts segment but this is already way too long so ill make the second post on my blog please check it out over there!!!

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part Ten

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker, Steve, Sam

Warnings: mentions of smut (bondage, anal play, breeding kink, slight voyeurism), language, mentions of arson

Summary: Now that reader is stuck back at her apartment, she can finally feel safe again — until that safety is completely compromised. And more than her physical safety is put on the line.

Author’s Note: I’m so fucking stoked for this chapter!!! This is when it starts to get wild!! I hope you all like it! If you even read this, you should let me know who you think the person in question is (you’ll know what I mean when you read it lol). And as always, feel free to buy me a coffee if you want!

Tags: @amourmarvel @fangirlvoice @kennedywxlsh @devilswaldorf @what-the-hap-is-fuckning @alyispunk @fredweasleysbitchh @wearegroot @sunflowerbebe107 @prestigious-tea @brckenmemories @angelbabymed

Series Masterlist

Spending the next two weeks sequestered in your apartment wasn’t terrible, but it just cemented your assumption that you couldn’t even pretend to be normal anymore. At least when you were at the Tower, you felt like another face in the crowd compared to the Avengers.

Accommodating your work from home setup wasn’t easy, but you all made it work. Peter worked with you when he was back for a weekend. He even helped you go through more of your fan mail, if you could even call it that. There were some parcels that were genuine fan mail, people wishing you well and young girls saying you inspired them to pursue STEM careers; there were some death threats that you had to send to local law enforcement to investigate; there were mostly creepy letters from men you could only assume were older than your father. One man wrote that he wanted to find out if you smelled as beautiful as you looked. Cringe. Another wrote about how he wanted to suck on your toes until they were wrinkly. Gag. The worst was a man who said he wanted to be sandwiched between you and your dad. Barf.

Steve and Sam used the scanner your dad made to check all your mail before it was even brought upstairs. None had been poisoned or set to explode, but some contained explicit items that you were more than happy to not see.

It was still slightly traumatizing when Steve waltzed in with a package in his arms and said, “Hey [Y/N], I didn’t toss this one because it doesn’t look like it’s from a person. Did you order something from… Romantix?”

You paused mid-chew as you, Bucky, and Sam all sat in your living room enjoying a nice Saturday lunch. Bucky wasn’t fazed, continuing to eat his food; Sam, however, busted out laughing.

“What’s in it, Steve?” Sam asked loudly, clearly trying to rile you up.

“Uh, all the scanner showed was a couple small golf balls -- I think -- and what looked like a top? And a remote.”

Sam kept giggling to himself, Bucky and Steve both looked confused as hell. You moved to grab the box from Steve but Sam beat you to it, tutting at you as you reached for it again.

“Uh-uh. We should open it to make sure everything is safe,” Sam teased.

“Everything in there is safe, I promise,” you swore. When you tried to steal the package back, Sam yoinked it further from your grasp with a devious smile. Your cheeks were burning hot at the thought of the inevitable. Sam was going to open your box, Steve was going to turn red as a tomato, and Bucky was… well, hopefully he was going to take you to your room for the rest of the day.

And before you could try to snatch the box away again, Sam ripped the packing tape off and pulled out the first item: kegel balls.

“What are those?” Steve asked.

“Don’t worry about it!” you shouted, grabbing the vacuum-packed, heavy silver balls from a still giggling Sam. He reached back into the box and you realized you may just have to suck it up and let him have his show-and-tell.

“Here’s that ‘top’ you were talking about,” Sam joked. And in his hands sat… the butt plug.

“Sam, stop! Literally no one here needs to see this except me and Bucky,” you whined.

“In that case, I’m curious. What else is in there?” Bucky asked, leaning forward to peek inside.

“Bucky! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

Sam shrugged and handed the box to Bucky so he could rummage through it instead. You couldn’t really complain as much now that your boyfriend was doing the snooping instead.

“What the -- oh,” Bucky said as he lifted the next item: a remote… tied to a pair of thin black panties.

“Why would those come together?” Steve asked. You weren’t sure if he was serious or not because he may have been born in the early 1900s, but he would’ve had to have checked out modern porn and kinks by now, right?

“Do you want to tell him or should I?” Sam asked with raised eyebrows. His lips were quirked in an annoying smirk. Bucky sat with a similar expression; at least you knew he had brushed up on modern sex.

“They’re vibrating panties,” you deadpanned. Steve fortunately didn’t look too surprised, he just raised his eyebrows and nodded.

“What’s next, Buck?” Sam prompted him to continue unpacking.

“Oh -- oh -- oh yeah. We can have some fun with this,” Bucky laughed as he lifted up the collar and ball gag.

“Damn, [Y/N]. You’re a freaky freak,” Sam laughed. Bucky didn’t even deny this; he just laughed with his friend before continuing with the last items.

“And…” Bucky started to explain. He quickly cut himself off when he saw what was in his hands -- and covering the bottom of the package. Dozens of pieces of lingerie, from skimpy little lace pieces to a loose-fitting satin teddy to a sheer black robe. “Oh, that’s for my eyes only,” he finally said.

Sam and Steve grumbled in response but didn’t push it. They probably realized getting a full reveal of the shit you and Bucky wanted to mess around with was more than they would’ve gotten if you had your way.

And just as you hoped, Bucky took you to your bedroom for a few hours. You found out you didn’t love the plug and the ball gag made you drool, but the collar had a little leash Bucky was able to pull on while hitting it from the back... you liked that one.

From that day on, you made sure to tell the boys when you’d have a package coming in. Bucky definitely perked up at the mention of more mail like that coming his way.

•

Two weeks after the Romantix debacle, Peter was back in town and stoked to help you go through mail again. He didn’t like all the creepy letters, but he was really good at making you laugh at them instead of constantly cringing and gagging. Bucky and Steve even sat to help, but Sam said if he was going to keep cooking for everyone, he didn’t have to sort through mail. And none of you wanted to pass up on his classic New Orleans recipes.

You all sat around your dining room table with your small dining TV playing old episodes of “Criminal Minds” as background noise. The amount of mail you received definitely dropped with time, but you’d still have a hefty pile at the end of the week. The creepy letters were shredded but you liked responding to the nicer letters, so there was a “shred” pile and a “respond” pile on either side of the “open next” pile.

You were all working in near-silence aside from the quiet dialogue on the TV and the occasional clink of pans from Sam in the kitchen. With four of you working, you’d be able to read through everything in about half an hour. As you neared the bottom of the pile, you grabbed a large manilla envelope and felt the weight of whatever was inside. It couldn’t have been dangerous because the boys scanned everything, but you carefully tugged it open nonetheless. You held it upside down and gently shook out the contents: a letter, a smaller envelope, and a DVD. A few people sent mix CDs or fan videos on DVDs and flash drives, so you were initially excited about this one… until you started reading the letter. The choppy typewriter print quickly turned muddled as your blood froze in your veins.

My darling [Y/N],

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, I don’t think I shall. I’ll cut to the chase instead: I’m the reason the world knows who you are. Guess I’m a little loose-lipped. Oops! But I needed you to know I’m serious somehow. Or else you wouldn’t see this as a true threat.

I know your little secret. I’ve seen more than I originally planned, but you gave me plenty to work with in my free time. You look beautiful while you sleep; you look even more beautiful in the throes of passion. But I’m not looking to have your body.

Unless you get $2,000,000 to your little doorman Matthew to bring to me by the end of the week, the enclosed pictures will make their way to the desk of daddy dearest. And we both know he won’t appreciate seeing who is penetrating his daughter.

And if that $2,000,000 doesn’t find me by the end of next week, the video on the DVD will be released to the world.

I look forward to our next interaction.

Your hands shook as you tore open the envelope to see what pictures this person allegedly had of you. At first, they were just creepy candids of you walking down the street, nothing the paps wouldn’t have. Then they turned into photos of Bucky escorting you through crowds… and then photos of you in your apartment.

You were sleeping in your bed in one. Then standing in your kitchen making breakfast in one of Bucky’s shirts. And then a shirtless Bucky was cradling your face and kissing your forehead.

The next picture was of Bucky standing behind you in the kitchen. His pajama bottoms — the pair you got him for his birthday — were pooled at his feet. One hand was pressing you to the counter, the other was hoisting your leg up to the granite as he drove into you.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, unable to speak. As you frantically flipped through the rest of the photos, your eyes flooded with tears and your breathing grew more erratic, grabbing Bucky’s attention, then Peter’s, then Steve’s.

But their concern meant nothing to you as you processed the images before you.

You on your knees with Bucky’s dick clearly between your lips. Bucky on his knees with his face pressed between your thighs. Your legs wrapped around Bucky’s torso as he moved you on his cock. Bucky’s hand wrapped around your throat as you rode him on the couch.

All the images looked like they were taken through your windows, like someone was somehow standing outside your apartment despite being stories above the ground.

“What’s wrong, doll?” Bucky asked softly. He gently touched your arm, drawing your view from the distressing imagery to his attempted comfort, though it unfortunately did nothing to calm you down. Not this time.

You looked up at him with tear-filled eyes but couldn’t bring yourself to speak. All you could do was shake your head and push the letter to him. You watched his eyes quickly scan the words before reaching for the photos. He didn’t snatch them away from you or even try to take them. He just held his hand out and let you shakily hand them over.

And then you saw the pacific blue of his eyes turn dark and stormy, his jaw clenching as he flipped through the pictures of you — you and him. His breathing grew more and more ragged the more he saw, until he threw the photos to the table with a loud, “Fuck!”

Seconds later, Sam dashed into the room as Steve sifted through the photos. Even Steve grew irritated at the sight. Peter and Sam quickly followed suit, only glimpsing a few pictures before getting the gist of the rest.

The room was silent aside from your quiet sobs. You and Bucky both stared at the disc lying between you until your eyes met. His usually pale blue irises were nearly black.

“I’m scared,” you whimpered. Despite being scared himself — and angry and frustrated and confused — he reached out to pull you into his lap and hold you. Keeping you close always made him feel better, even when it felt like the world was crashing around him.

“Close the curtains,” he demanded gruffly. Steve and Peter immediately jumped up and started pulling all your curtains shut, throwing your usually bright apartment into near darkness.

Bucky held your face between his palms, forcing you to look in his eyes.

“I know you’re scared, but we need to see what’s on that DVD.”

“I can already guess what it is,” you said through your tears.

“Yeah, me too,” Bucky agreed. “But we have to make sure.”

You simply nodded. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead, helping your breathing slow at the reassuring gesture. He led you into the living room with the DVD in hand. Steve and Sam stood in the living room, Peter sat on the couch. They all looked concerned for you, but tried not to show pity. You could tell they were all upset about this too.

“You can leave the room if you don’t want to see what I’m sure we all know is on this,” Bucky said. His voice was deep and gravelly, almost like his morning voice, but… mean.

You and Bucky sat together on the sofa across from Peter, all eyes trained on the TV as the screen faded from black to a slightly fuzzy shot of your bed. Seconds later, you and Bucky came on screen. And there was audio.

You giggled as Bucky’s body pushed yours to the mattress. “What are you gonna do to me?” your voice sounded.

“I’m gonna put a baby in you,” Bucky’s voice growled. “I’m gonna cum inside this tight pussy until you can’t take it anymore.”

“Jesus,” Sam grumbled. You would’ve laughed if the situation wasn’t so serious.

Bucky only let it play until clothes started coming off. That’s when he knew they actually had a sex tape of you two, especially considering the nearly two-hour time frame on it. Sending explicit pictures of you and Bucky to your dad was one thing, but releasing a non-consensual sex tape of you two was something else entirely.

“What are we gonna do?” Peter asked quietly. Your tears had finally stopped, but the concern in his voice almost sent you over the edge again. He was such a sweet kid and he didn’t deserve to deal with the stress of this with you. But you also knew he was your best friend — practically a brother — and he wasn’t going to let you fend for yourself through this, even with Bucky by your side.

“We have to give them the money,” Sam replied. “We can find out who the door guy gives it to and arrest them or track the bills, but we have to get the money.”

“I don’t have the money,” you confessed. Everyone except Bucky seemed surprised. “I make $200,000 before taxes. Before I got this new role, I made half that. Even if we don’t deduct taxes and the expenses I do pay for, I wouldn’t have even close to two million.”

Everyone went silent again until Steve finally spoke up.

“We need to talk to the doorman.”

•

Bucky stormed out of the elevator, rushing ahead of everyone with murder in his eyes. He gripped the front of Matt’s suit and shoved him against the wall, shaking the letter in his face.

“What the fuck is this?” Bucky was seething.

“What?” Matt squeaked. His eyes were wide as saucers. He was clearly not expecting this confrontation. Bucky just shook the letter again to draw the doorman’s attention.

“Wait. You got one too?” Matt asked. Bucky’s grip loosened as he stared at the shorter man in confusion. You instinctively looked at Peter, who looked just as baffled as you. “I-I got a letter like that. In my locker. This morning.”

“Show us,” you demanded. Bucky released him but Matt’s eyes saw the posse of Avengers behind you (save for Peter, who he probably assumed was either a friend or boyfriend — secret identity and all that) and he rushed all of you to the locker room.

It was a small room since there were only a dozen doormen in your building, if that. He opened his locker and revealed a letter that was nearly identical to yours, but with no mentions of his looks and a much different threat.

“They’re threatening arson?!” you nearly shouted. Bucky and Steve read the letter before handing it to Sam and Peter to check out as well.

“They included pictures of my mom and sister,” Matt explained, clearly scared of what might happen to him and his loved ones. “They know where I live and they know who I live with. I-I would’ve taken this to th-the police but I didn’t want to risk it.”

“They have the later date listed for him,” Sam said. “You had one week to get the money or they’d tell Tony, two weeks or they release the tape. Now we have two weeks to save his family.”

Everyone in the room fell silent once again. Eyes fell on you as Peter quietly repeated his earlier question: “What are we gonna do?”

Despite all eyes on you, you turned to Bucky, who continued to study the letter. His jaw flexed as he thought and if this had been any other time, you would’ve kissed the tension away.

“We’re gonna tell Tony.”