To put it nicely, It’s widely known that the Pankratz family are very open about who they love. To put it bluntly, they're a family of slut’s
Soon, it’s discovered that every member of Kear Morhen has, at one point been in a relationship with a Pankratz.
Vessimir was in one with Jaskier's Grandmother, apparently even when Jaskier’s father was born. They're looking into that.
Eskel had a minor fling with Jaskier's sister one summer.
Lamber and Aiden were in a threesome with one of Jaskier's uncles
Coen at a one-night stand with Jaskier's brother
Not even Yennefer, who had a brief encounter with Jaskier's cousin.
Currently, Ciri has not been at any meeting with the Pankratz family. Which is probably a good thing since her Jaskier happens to be a distant cousins.
Ok jaskier wearing a thong in kaer morhen, he bends over, and the top of it peaks out of his pants one day. Here's the Kaer morons reactions when they see it:
Geralt: *error, brain melting from the horny*
Eskel: isn't that uncomfortable?
Lambert: *grabs the thong and gives jaskier a turbo wedgie*
Vesemir: *fist bumps jaskier. Then uses his thumb to pull up and show off the thong he's also wearing*
Aiden and Lambert against the wyvern!
(Or Lambert coming to save Aiden's ass! And how I see them meeting for the first time! ) Been working on this illustration for a few days and I'm quite happy to be done with it! Definetly learned a lot about light during the process! Thanks to my friends and roomates for their feedbacks!!
Jaskier is more than happy to care for his witchers when they return to Kaer Morhen in winter, not that it's a sacrifice to be surrounded 24/7 by manly, strong, beautiful men, but he knows that his wolves can't be pampered by him the rest of the year because he spends every season with Geralt.
So he comes up with an idea to make everyone see his witchers exactly as he sees them: heroic and delicious.
A few years ago, Oxenfurt put out a series of portraits of the most handsome professors to motivate more people to go to college. Of course, the number of students inside the classrooms grew a lot.
Jaskier wants to go further, so he tells Yennefer about making portraits of the wolves according to a different year theme. You know, a kind of calendar.
Eskel, sweet and strong, will be Spring. Lambert, young and virile, will be Summer. Vesemir, wise and serene, will be Autumn. And Geralt, mysterious and silent, Winter.
Jaskier can only be carried away by his fantasies.
Thanks to Yen and his magic, by the end of Winter, in every place of the continent there is a series of magical paintings of the witchers of the wolf school exquisitely depicting a whole season that motivates all people to be kinder and more helpful to them.
Some time later, wives and husbands convince their partners to call a witcher to solve their monster problems and give them generous tips, taverns fill them with beers for attracting so many people, inns give them the best rooms and as many bathrooms as they ask for, brothels fight to have one of them in their places and show off their charms.
Jaskier has just invented themed calendars and is happy to know that his wolves are fully appreciated.
The next calendar will undoubtedly feature Coën and Aiden.
Posting a a little today but really like the whole bit the boys have over calling Vesemir old. They all just collectively agree “old man old man”
It’s even funnier when notw makes vesemir only 70, or really 60 something years older than them since they’re around 4-8 age group. And he only looks like he’s in his 20s-early thirties. I’m sure Lambert started it. One day he just asks “why are you so old?” And Vesemir is left shocked. He’s not that old!!! But then when they get back to Kaer Morhen and the boys are a bit older Geralt finally gets to ask all his questions about Kaer Morhen he couldn’t ask before.
“How old is Kaer Morhen?”
“I don’t know Geralt. Old.”
“Are you older than Kaer Morhen or as old?”
Vesemir throws his boots at him. Then that’s when the whole “*insert item* is almost as old as Vesemir!”
HE HATES IT.
When Ciri finally joins them, Lambert immediately teaches her the bit. She is RUTHLESS with her insults. Vesemir is giving her a history lesson in the courtyard since it’s nice out. The boys are fixing one of the walls in the background. He’s telling her about a war that happened around 600 years ago.
“Do you remember what it was like in that time? Since you were there?” Vesemir wants to crawl into a hole and die in it. The boys are basically toppled over in laughter. Lambert starts choking from laughing too hard. Ciri seems extremely pleased with herself.
It starts evolving further into “oh you wanna know about the conjunction of spheres? Oh I dunno, ask Vesemir he was there since before the conjunction.” And “what was it like when dinosaurs were alive, Vesemir?”
AND IT SOMEHOW SPREADS. He’s in a growing town in southern Redania with Geralt and they run into Jaskier. Now he’s never had the fortune of meeting him, but he’s heard plenty. He’s about to thank the poet for looking after Geralt until Jaskier goes “so I’ve heard you’re quite old! Tell me Master Vesemir, what was it like when kingdoms started to form? How did the royal families come to be in power?”
Vesemir is SEETHING. Geralt just smiles like the little shit he is.