#gerard way gender wars

[caintooth]

Okay we’re gonna talk about the Gerard Way she/her thing because y’all are being weird about it.

When most of us call Gerard Way she/her, it’s in the same way the queer community has used it generically for years.

Queer people have been using she/her pronouns in scenarios involving drag, cross-dressing, and general fun and celebration, for both ourselves and our friends since before most of us were born.

I have not seen ANYONE legitimately claim that Gerard wearing a dress makes them a woman. I HAVE seen people being excited that Gerard feels comfortable enough to express themself. Exited that he feels safe enough to finally explore the feminine styles he has always said he’s drawn to. Excited that Gerard is trusting us with this side of themself. That all calls for celebratory, in good fun use of she/her!

Gerard has historically expressed feeling a looseness in regard to pronouns applied to them, and has never expressed anxiety about fans giving them feminine compliments or calling them words like mom, queen, etc. Because, yeah. My Chem fans have literally been doing this for years already! It’s just picked up in popularity, again, out of feelings of celebration and love…

If you know that pronouns do not equate gender, understand that WE know that too. If you know that gender is a performance, understand that WE know that too. We are using she/her because it is fun, it is lighthearted- it is literally part of our community’s way of acknowledging that gender is a performance.

Assuming we’ve suddenly forgotten this and are treating gender and gender presentation as strictly binary / are forcing an identity upon someone, just as our oppressors have done to us our entire lives, is honestly kinda offensive!

We do this because we’re happy for her. Because she finally gets to be whoever the fuck she wants to be, to look however the fuck he wants to look, and we’re excited.

Because we love her.

[trans-ylvania]

our lady of sorrows: how has gerard way helped you with your queer identity?

hey queer ppl!!!! would anyone want to be a part of a gerard way zine!!!! (collage/writing/poetry/artwork/literally any and everything???)

@zineforall @zineapps @zinefeed @zine-scene @fandomzines @zinefans

[spoilthevines]

[lowshoulder]

On Lola’s Gender

Sources: Hesitant Alien Promo Picture/ The Kink’s “Lola” lyrics via AZlyrics/ Gerard Way’s Reddit AMA/ “Gerard Way Correcting An Interviewer On Lola’s Pronouns” YouTube video via user dusted out on route guano/ The Kink’s “Lola” lyrics part two/ Gerard Way’s twitter

[ghostsofdecay]

i NEED to talk about how Emily is about transgenderism

[pissditching]

I've noticed something in the discussion around Gerard Way and trans identity that I am officially fed the fuck up with. While talking about Gerard's outfits from the second leg of the tour, people love to use use the line "clothes ≠ gender" as a gotcha for those of us who are keen to the fact that they aren't cis. This pisses me off for three main reason plus a fourth mini reason that's more of a history blurb than anything else.

Before we start anything, Gerard has been out as not cis for the better part of 8(!) years now. To not acknowledge that is doing them a disservice. Some of you have purposely chosen to ignore that fact. Right out the gate that's fucked up. Ok now we can proceed.

First off, you're right. Clothes do not, in fact, equal gender. I know this, and it sounds like you'd like me to believe that you know this. So forgive me for being a little confused when you go on anon after they're photographed wearing what you dub to be "masculine clothing" (i.e. anything that's not a skirt/dress with heels) and tell me I'm an idiot for implying that they aren't a cisgender man.

Secondly, the concept that clothes don't equal gender in only true to us very recently. If you think that Gerard Way, a 45 year old ex-Catholic Gen-X'er who grew up in an wildly conservative suburb of north New Jersey doesn't have a different relationship between clothing and gender than you, a 14-to-20-something year old who hasn't closed tiktok in three days and averages 0.3 minutes of critical thinking per week, then you're extremely delusional and self-centered. People are socialized in entirely different ways. As humans, our experiences are not in any way universal. What doesn't mean anything to you means everything to someone else. Maybe you don't equate femininity with skirts and dresses, but I guarantee you a 45 year old who has openly struggled with gender identity their entire life does in some capacity. This is not a bad thing.

Thirdly is that in your attempt to sound as woke and morally upright as possible, you're unintentionally (or intentionally, seeing as a considerable number of you are terfs,) discrediting and invalidating the way someone experiences gender euphoria because you personally don't get it. Gerard Way has only ever said "I don't use labels" in response to people implying that they're cishet. If your first reaction to seeing someone who could even potentially identify under the transfem umbrella experiencing visible gender euphoria in a dress is to say "oh well clothes don't equal gender, so I'm going to assume that he's a man in a dress until he explicitly outs himself", then congratulations! You're transphobic. Because that's the thing. When you use the rhetoric of clothes ≠ gender in that context, it becomes crystal clear you don't actually care about trans people. You just want to sound like the smartest person in the room. And you're willing to throw GNC trans people under the bus in order to achieve that goal.

I think people have forgotten big time that "don't assume my gender" originally meant "don't assume I'm cis", because now the way people interpret the rhetoric (don't assume my gender, clothes ≠ gender, I don't use labels, etc.,) and use it to prove a point only use it as if to say "it's inherently wrong and creepy to identify and acknowledge when people aren't cis. Cis is the default and the only safe assumption. Anything else is offensive and crossing a major boundary" and you can tell it's because they view transness as an insult to someone's character. We have to, collectively, stop viewing transness as an allegation you either have to beat or bear with. Alongside that, we have to stop assuming cisness.

[gerardwaygirlmoments]

I am thankful to know that if I go down fighting in the Gerard Gender Wars, I will be tended to

[cordspaghetti]

can’t believe i spent this morning making such an Um Actually ass post lmfao

[tasteofchaos2005]

ok. god I’ve been seeing too much gender discourse on the dash with some BAD takes in the past few days & let me just say. I really feel like so much of Gerard Way Gender Discourse could be eliminated if we just started using the phrase “gender nonconforming” more. it is such a great phrase to utilize when discussing gender & esp when discussing unlabeled non-normative gender expression.

“gender nonconforming” is an intentionally open & expansive phrase that encompasses a variety of experiences outside of the boundaries of both 1) a binary gender structure and 2) a discourse around gender that has tended to focus on labelling and categorizing Exactly What’s Going On, often specifically so that other (cis) people can understand our genders more clearly in order to more easily exploit us. it very intentionally places a person & their gender under the umbrella of trans/outside of the binary experience (which is why we use the acronym “tgnc”) without needing to use specific labelling words — which is something that gerard has been doing constantly this tour & has consistently done throughout his life.

every single tgnc person experiences their gender differently, & calling gerard a tgnc person is, in fact, not labelling them (good!) & additionally not allowing cis people to erase their long well-documented history of being an outspoken & open advocate for tgnc people specifically because of his own relationship to and experience of their gender, which they have described as being non-normative (even better!!)

tl;dr not labelling is good but sometimes things aren’t labels in the way y’all think they are & weirdly trying to erase gerards lifelong experience as a gnc person who has tied themself to trans & gnc people is gonna get u blocked. let’s use the phrase gnc more

[bastardsofravenkroft-blog]

There really isn’t (or shouldn’t be) “discourse”. Gerard is their own person and hasn’t said anything publicly about these topics for the better part of a decade. He said enough to get his point across about how he felt. So yes, talk about the importance and impact of visibly gnc performers and public figures. Yes, talk about how it’s helped and shaped you and people you know. Yes, have your own personal readings of things they’ve said and how it could feel about things. These are all valuable and extremely important at times. But this constant “discourse” and “war” is utter bullshit.

Do not call Gerard trans without his permission. Do not call Gerard cis without his permission. Do not call Gerard she/her unironically without their permission. Do not call Gerard anything they have not given you permission to. The last you were told, Gerard doesn’t use any labels. He said he doesn’t use them. The last confirmation of his pronouns was he/they (On one of Marina Toybina’s Instagram posts, who they’ve been working with durning this tour for costuming).

Gerard is a real person. Gerard has said more than they had to. He deserves respect. Fighting a “war” for your right to treat someone however you’d like to is ridiculous.

(*a couple of notes to clarify:

1). describing what someone has spoken about with a word like “trans”, “transgender”, or “transfem” is not the same as labeling someone. You can make an equation without touting yourself as 100% correct.

2.) you can talk about gender and how you’ve struggled with it and not be trans. 3.) the term “gender non-conforming” exists. a good explanation here. )

[thekidsfromyestergay]

Me: The UK/EU tour and US tour are both incredible and neither is better than the other! What Gerard wears and what songs are played have absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the show! Even if MCR never tour again this will always have been an amazing experience!

Also me: if MCR don't come back to the UK but this time Gerard has a suitcase full of dresses and they play desert song I WILL sob

[caintooth]

some of y’all: gerard way and frank iero are deeply in love and have explored each other’s bodies. i write fiction speculating about this.

also some of y’all: calling gerard way she/her in a playful, celebratory way, even when they are in drag on stage and have referred to themself as “girl” in a performance setting before, is an act of violence

[trans-ylvania]

PART ONE OF FOUR IN THE GERARD GENDER WEB WEAVE: YOUTH DECAY (childhood - early 20s)

(i got inspiration to do this from @girlgerard's entire blog pretty much, so for sure go check him out if you haven't already, she's the best)

the very hungry caterpillar, eric carle / drugstore perfume, gerard way / bury me in black, my chemical romance / drowning lessons, my chemical romance / photo by it girl_rag doll on flickr / pinterest / bury me in black, my chemical romance / phoning it in, gerard way / gerard way in art school / pinterest / @americansport / pinterest / pinterest / @hakobore / gerard way circa 2004 / doris salcedo / tweet from gerard way following his ama on reddit / rebel rebel, david bowie / silas denver melvin / chopinspree on ig / bubbles, courtney starrett / @gaygothgenderconfused / f.t.w.w.w., my chemical romance / thomas beatie / i eat boys, chloe moriondo / sam smith preforming / margaret atwood / vampires will never hurt you, my chemical romance / pinterest / pinterest / gerard way for kerrang!

[glimmerbolan]

has anyone else noticed that only very recently has the “general public” (aka non-tumblr like twitter, ig, and even some press) really accepted and started to use he/they pronouns for gerard? like i would only ever see people on other social media sites use he/him pronouns but now i see they/them all the time. which i am LOVING don’t get me wrong but like gerard said their pronouns were he/they all the way back in 2015 i feel like only recently in light of his latest stage outfits have people really started using “they.” and the correlation is very inch resting 2 me…

i am absolutely LOVING gerard’s outfits recently. like i am fully obsessed and it brings me so so so much joy to see them so joyful on stage in dresses and skirts. however i fear that people are only really starting to see gerard as gender non-conforming now that they are wearing traditionally feminine clothing. i’m glad that people are finally starting to see them for who they are, but there is no one way to be gnc. and seeing people correctly gender gerard only now that they tick the boxes for people’s stereotypes on gender nonconformity is idk.. Alarming to me??

a few years ago, gerard gave an interview for The Advocate’s “2018’s LGBT Icons, Innovators, and Disrupters” article listing “the queer people leading the change.” so he was actively broadly identifying as queer in some way. in the article, they talk about gender and how seeing laura jane grace transition made them feel “no longer ashamed” and inspired them to publicly address their gender. in 2018, gerard had a beard and a mustache and long shaggy hair, wore the same baggy clothes at every appearance, and also (kind of crucially) was not skinny. he did not fit the stereotypical image that people have of those living outside of the gender binary. but they were still actively identifying as gnc. and as someone coming to terms with their own nonbinary identity who does not tend to fit people’s ideas of nonbinary identity or androgyny, this meant the WORLD to me. and now here we are in 2022 and gerard fits into the “skinny/androgynous/crossdressing” box and only now am i noticing people really starting to see them as gender nonconforming. like i’m very glad you got there eventually but can we please PLEASE get rid of the idea that there is a right was to look and be nonbinary thx

[arowrath]

i love gerard soooo much theyre the specialest person in the whole world

[boo-cool-robot]

Cannot believe some people are mad about fandom using they/them pronouns or using feminine terms for Gerard Way. He has literally said he prefers both he and they pronouns, identifies more with women than men, and has called himself a girl.

It does not matter whether he’s trans or cis or identifies outside of that framework. It is extremely fucked up to act like publicly identifying as trans in a normatively acceptable way is a prerequisite to being referred to with terms other than the ones associated with your assigned gender at birth. Gerard Way could actively identify as a cisgender man and still use they/them pronouns and call themselves a girl and that would be fine! Acting otherwise is extremely hostile to gender non-conforming people.