#girlie doesnt know any of it
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these two are my girlfriends.
#alongside the same words being used - warpath nagging wife -#BUT AS IT WAS SHE ONLY SAW THE BROKEN DATES THE MOOD SWINGS THE SULLENNESS AND THE QUICK IRRATIONAL ANGERS WHICH APPARENTLY#WERE DIRECTLY SOLELY AT HER#what sends me about this is that he absolutely tells this woman everything#i absolutely think he does come like the 50s husband and complain about all of them#how henry's this and charles is that#but the inability (and unwillingness) to share about LITERAL MURDER#crumbles#because their relationship IS a safespace. no matter what they fight about it solves itself and he's routinely back in that dorm#and they fuck and forget and it goes again and again#but you cant say that about MURDER#there is no safespace to talk about MURDER with your girlfriend#because she's a small girl that wants you to be happy fghjk and you know what she'll say#it absolutely plays into it and the fact that#girlie doesnt know any of it#and suffers through this one#for months and doesn't murder him#idk she's a better person than the greek class. and loved him more too. but alas.
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the closest ill ever get to being a pick me girl is the joy that fills me when the chefs at work so clearly favouritise me. like im there nicely cleaned up in my smart-casual uniform just a 20 year old waitress smiling my customer service smile and behind me spawns Scary Dog Privilege 10x in the form of several burly middle-aged chefs at least three of which have criminal records and would all stick a bread knife in someone for bothering me
#like it's really funny bc i worked HARD with back of house bc i knew my job would be significantly easier if they liked me#(it speeds your orders through. you can ask for things without being told to fuck off during a rush. they'll get you food on shift etc)#and also there's a stereotype especially in fancier places where floor staff look down on kitchen staff and i think that's shitty#so i was always going to be try with them and be nice but ALSO when i first started my job it was in a peak era so while these days#we're struggling a lot and have had to employ a lot of college kids that dont know what they're doing#when i joined it was all private school girls that would swan about the place very snootily. so the divide between front and back of hosue#was INTENSE when i joined. and there i was a little state school girlie and the chefs immediately recognised that#and took me under their wing. so even though the class angle doesnt exist so much anymore and theres majority state schoolers#im still very much in with the chefs in a way not many of the other floor staff are. and there's also the fact im not scared of them#like chefs ARE rude and a lot of them DONT like or even respect floor staff but i will GLADLY tell them to fuck off if i think it necessary#and that's a language they understand like ironically there's one chef that doesnt get on with ANY of the waitresses#(i talked about him on another post he's the soup one) but he likes me bc when he tried that rude dismissive act i told him to shove it#and now the other waitresses literally SEND ME TO TALK TO HIM when they have questions/want something bc they know he'll listen to me#and me and the head chef are besties and the one kp will talk OVER THE OTHER WAITRESSES' heads and completely blank them#so she can talk to me and it's all just really funny bc the kitchen staff LOVE me and that's not even me being arrogant#it's like a known thing at work that they love me and im just. a 20 year old 5'2 waitress with my little pearl necklace and blouse#and some tattooed ginger mohawked 6ft chef is there getting angry for me when i come in complaining about a table#or the kp that is literally on probation will give me a sticky toffee pudding and tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone LMAO#hella slaves to capitalism
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Bigger taller people do not have to top or be tops bigger taller people do not have to top or be tops bigger taller people do not have to be the top
#This doesn’t mean that everyone who likes a tall top short bottom combo are bad or think this#Dont think I’m saying that#I enjoy seeing my big ass bottom Johnny being shorter sometimes.#But we ALL know how forces that trope is#Muscley. fat. tall. idc. You deserve to be pretty (and girly if you want) and fucked#Don’t let any skinny or short or both bitches who think that only they get to be treated like princesses tell you otherwise#Coming from a tall ish top#Sick of this being enforced everywhere. Small doesnt equal bottom or girly. Big doesn’t equal masculine or toppy#You can weigh 100 pounds more and be 5 inches taller and still bottom. Dont let cunts tell you you cant#On that note. Smaller people do not have to bottom smaller people do not have to bottom smaller people do not have to bottom#You can be a dom top and manhandle your big bottoms#non fandom#lgbtq community#Its ridiculous how anything besides that is treated like a kink
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Me: no I'm over my Avengers obsession actually, I've moved on to other things and am no longer interested in the characters
*stays up until 2am rewatching clips from all the pre-Endgame mcu movies*
Me: oh no
#tony flying the nuke into the wormhole scene my beloved#iron man 1 suit up scene my beloved#tony fighting bucky with the watch repulsor my beloved#literally any scene of tony and steve interacting my beloved#all the irondad scenes ofc#those go without saying#girlies you would not believe the irondad fics i have in my wip folder#just waiting to be finished#will they ever actually get finished however????.... maybe#now i just want to write an au where peter is one of the og avengers tho#like#peter cant go apprehend loki with the others because he needs to go home before may realises he skipped school#tony being such an asshole to peter because hes not gone through all the character growth yet and isnt soft tony yet#but he likes the kid really and doesnt know what to do about that#i have a vision#and if i can forget anything endgame onwards ever happened maybe i will actually write it#tony stark i love you so much man#my post
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the way ailette and tesilid never talk about their dislike for the strict order is so funny and GNRHRNGHRHGH because the comments sections have been going "hey tesilid have you heard about this banging new religion!!!" since like the first chapter tesilid was introduced. and she still hasn't said a thing about it.
like. "tesilid is a strict follower of the strict order", "tesilid is part of the heretical judgement bureau", blablabla listen!!! when you asked him to hide your identity as saint he said okay without hesitation!! it wasn't a flimsy decision either, he said "go home to your family"! that's what he believes in, not in the rules in and of themselves!! shakes ailette by the shoulders he was TEN when he did that, he's been a rule breaker and heretic shielder and strict order disliker since before you met!!!!!! and he's only going to become moreso when he grows older and the strict order and heretical judgement bureau puts him through more and more shit! !
and then tesilid himself doesn't make it super duper explicit that he's a strict order hater because he wants to stay on ailette's good side. and she's a huge fan of the god she serves, who as far as he can tell is the strict order bc there isn't any other god in-universe.
GAH!
#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#girlie is mischaracterising the blorbo#not that i blame her tho she doesnt have anyone else to discuss her interpretations with :(#and tesilid in the novel prob doesnt get the chance to express his real self as much#since ailette doesnt exist. we get to see his real self a lot more here#i dont blame ailette for dismissing all the signs that tesilid is diff from her interpretation either bc#she read the novel for more than 10 years#and she first read it in middle school#any misconceptions she had the first time round are gg to be SO entrenched by the time she actually meets tesilid again#but like well i want to see tesilid knowing he has the option to convert 😔
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I think it's really likely phee and jin happened bc they were both rebounding from non and maybe they caught feelings maybe they didn't maybe phee is feeling guilty for that but like to ME regardless of how bad they feel abt it they're fucking on non's dead body and I'm petty enough to put away critical thinking and appreciating the nuances of media to wish them a very die
#dff the series#dead friend forever#I GET IT I GET IT ik what yall r saying yes them as a pair can b interesting asf and if i wasnt a non girlie id be all over it but god#my nonnie deserves better#this is just the final nail in the coffin like#this is nons 13th (20th) reason#imagine going through all of THAT and then ur ex bf is fucking the guy who filmed u getting raped and dragged u back into a group#that was abusing u constantly when u were abt to leave it#like#yall r built different i simply cant hack it#i cant compartmentalise and not be disgusted of the non of it all in order to enjoy them#like there will always be 3 of u in that relationship and we all know it#i can't force myself to not be disgusted by them and it's required to feel any reaction besides auto recoil to the thought of them together#ur relationship is paved with sins and corpses how can u be together and have peace knowing every moment will be haunted by it#i dont wanna see them forgive themselves and eachother and be together bc its SO UNFAIR TO NON#and i simply cant get over that if i wanted hard reality i wouldnt b watching a gay slasher its just so unsatisfying#its unsatisfying to end it like thst with no justice for the victim#yes theres a compelling story there abt that dynamic between them but this isnt the show to explore kt#theyve put too much emphasis on the victim to go there#i understand the sentiment but a story like that doesnt go like this. this isnt the way u write a story like that & explore those themes#like the majority of the audience isnt wanting that theyre rooting for non BECAUSE of the way its been set up & written#the past and the actions against non r the focus not phee and jin dealing w the aftermath in the present
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being employed in ur early 20s is so insane cause why am i beefing w this 48yo woman with a husband and two kids
#IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE IM LITERALLY JUST A GIRLIE?????#like im supposed to spend my days on tumblr why tf am i texting my mom like You wouldnt believe what she's done now.#but i do like being younger than her cause i know if it came to it i'd fucking destroy her mortal kombat style
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what if i girlbeamed some pmd characters for starfallverse. would you care
#ok i say that but i dont have any major characters in mind sjkldfjdslkfdsfsdf#its mostly just some of the sableye and one of the timburr#oh wait theres umbreon i almost forgot. i want it to be him and keldeo maybe#in my brain umbreon and espeon are like a disheveled antisocial geeky lesbian couple who tame dungeon monsters together#with the power of science#and keldeo is another mentally ill girlie to add to the list#i know im zapping hydreigon with the agender any pronoun beam. her gender is whatever xe feels like it today#hes a god this body is her roleplaying puppet fae doesnt care#ae is collecting pronouns and genders as we speak its like a game to hir
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i think its more based on safety threats since she has stalkers and stuff any pr thing will blow over in a week max but giving out people's location in real time is dangerous
no i feel that and it does make sense but its also like......everyone's flights are public knowledge jgjlaijgda like even if we don't know who is on the plane (she might not even be on half the flights tbh) but anybody can see when flights are landing and taking off
#im not an OSINT girlie so this doesnt actually matter in any significant way to me#but i think im okay with flights being public knowledge??#i know it poses a safety concern but its also like....whomst the fuck is checking like THAT#idk ill have to think about my true position on that bc i do agree its a safety concern at times
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i like to think apoptosis tries to lie to tenshi but tenshi cares too much & has figured her out pretty well & can see through most of it. i dont have much to support this beyond the fact theyre clearly heavily tied together across their songs.
#actually if im doing any analysis here#the timeline i think is like.#the group decides to go thru with the sacrifice to see if that would 'absolve their sins'#potentially targets apoptosis first as. she doesnt seem to get along with anyone#she doesnt want that obviously so she goes to pin it on someone else#someone else just happens to be tenshi who REALLY does not want the role#the whole lying about doing it for her & then tenshis dont leave me alone could be like.#tenshi gets the role & apoptosis just walks free not really thinking of the consequences#of course then its already getting too late to change anything & tenshi tries to convince herself shes doing the right thing#that her death will matter and maybe at least get them more time or something if not fix the problem#but no!!! it does nothing!!!! & apoptosis has to face that fact!!! that since it wasnt her it was someone she#(refuses to admit she) cares about!!!!!!!#& she cant stand that & suddenly shes in meltdown mode & will do whatever to destroy herself#i dont think its guilt shes dealing with like i genuinely think shes too selfish to feel guilty#kanons the guilty one not apoptosis#apoptosis feels more like. she lost something important & if she cant have it(her) then she doesnt want anything at all#unfortunately as per da rulez her being selfish means she continues to live.#permanent torture of knowing the one solid thing she had she got rid of and will never ever get back#the girlies#thats my current take on the situation#but in general i think those two are closer than either of them will admit
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am i crazy for being a little pissed off at my friend. she asked me to come water her plants while she's out of town for a week. she lives with TWO other people and i live 15 minutes away in a different fucking town, and i work another 15 minutes in the opposite direction (hint: it is extraordinarily out of my way and a pain in the ass to water her plants). Also they're plants?? 1 week without water isn't going to kill them???? just water them heavily right before leaving and again as soon as you get back. argh im just feeling like a piece of meat thats available to her to use for any stupid purpose
#honestly its just like being back in middle school when i didn't have any Good Friends. just people who wanted me to do things for them#like damn i dont know. i feel like im sitting in my therapists office and shes telling me i dont have to do everything people tell me to#and have i made like no progress on that? in fucking 8 years?#but for my own selfish reasons i need to keep this friend around until i graduate. i need someone to help me with food engineering.#or i could say fuck it and just lone wolf again... i did it for the first 2 years of college....#ive left her text on read since tuesday because like no i cant water your plants. theres like 5 options better than making me do it.#shes got her two roommates. her very good friend and coworker. the freshman. any of the knitting people she hangs out with.#bro i live in a different fucking postal code im not driving to town to water some plants that dont need water#actually yeah im saying fuck it. i dont need her. she doesnt bring joy or love when we hang out and im tired of her policing my words#girlie i will not be watering your plants and frankly this might be it. goodbye#diary post
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i need to be in a female separatist psych ward but alas they don’t exist! and as such i will continue being a problem
#r#like not taking my dysfunctional ass to any womyns land#but i’m also not taking my traumatized ass to a mixed sex psych ward#however i am ummmmmm unwell and not fit to be in society#i dont even get sad about shit in my life not working out anymore but at this point my anxiety is so so so so bad i can barely function#and ngl im on several medications at once at almost all times which should decrease anxiety and im still anxious#i hate thisss im not even sad or distraught but the suicidal ideation is hiiigh#just bc like ohhh my god i need to endure extreme anxiety in order to just like live a semi normal life#and whoooooo girly i dont know if i can do it over and over for another half dosen decades (if i’m lucky)#if youve read this far sorry firstly lol and secondly dw i am not in immediate danger#like as much as i ever want to it wont be a risk until my mom’s gone#and after that i’ll probably feel like responsible for not leaving my brother alone#ik not as feministe but he is part of her as well#+ he seems not evil somehow because my mother is amazing and unique and also we might all have autism#not that that exempts men from being evil misogynists typically but he didnt/doesnt socialize much outside of family#and my dad is impossible to talk to and he & i fought like hell as kids so my mom was his 1 socialization influence lol
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.
#sertraline made me so insufferable#i have no anxiety now so i also apparently have no filter#im now the kind of person that has bants with my managers#I'm also the kind that sasses ones i dont like#i feel like its a shmae old work buddies don't see me at work any more bc im like an entirely diff person lmao#girlie never shuts up#girlie talks to themself while they work and doesnt care who hears#girlie skips around the shop floor and says hi to everyone they know#who is she? (non binary)
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I love unit swap Kohane sm I can't wait until I finally get around to drawing her I wanna make her look like she hasn't slept in 3 years and got thrown down a flight of stairs
#rat rambles#sekai posting#unit swap au#girlies who drink way too much coffee and energy drinks but caffine doesnt even work on them they just gave themself a caffine addiction#also shes a bit (a lot) depressed but shhhhh#hey at least I didnt strip her of her only pre unit story irl friend. yet.#ok I dont think I will cause I dont think theres any reason she and minori wouldnt know eachother here but yknow#I took all of an's friendships out back like old yeller as a sacrifice to keep minori and kohane as friends /j#kohane and minori are weak butch strong femme solidarity fr#strength alas does not cancel out her loser girl cringe however 😔#idk if I actually will make unit swap kohane butch tho tbh since Id need to think more on my canon kohabe hc design more first#mainly cause shed probably end up being a more like toned down version of that? since she doesnt put a lot of effort into her looks but I#think shed still impulsively at least get a start towards how shed like to present herself in an ideal world#but that can be later in the story idk#most of vbs rly just would look the same tho if not a bit more tired looking#thats why I had to give them fursonas /j#anyways I need 2 sleep gn gamers
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Screaming crying chomping violence
#WHY do i have to keep begging my boss for any kind of guidance#GIRLIE its your job to tell me what to do why are you ghosting me#i dont care that (redacted) was unhappy i KNOW that wasnt about me#i DO care that you dont give me anything to do like#UGH#If this was a real job itd be easier bc like i wouldnt be dependent on her (or less) but theres NOTHING i can do if#she doesnt tell me
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I have like so many artfight attacks that I was planning on doing a few days ago that I have yet to start entirely because of how mental I've been over my rain world ocs. Just a few days ago I had like 4 of them and now I have like 10. I'm having to fight myself to not make more and I am losing that fight
#rat rambles#oc posting#rain posting#rn Im mostly losing it over orbit hes so fucked I cannot take it#I made girlie fuck up so bad and the made her look like a pure angel conpared to her neighbors like holy shit#hes a very messy person but dear god not deserve the shit I put him through#and by I I mostly mean his admins and purity#like damn I decided to make an iterator that just fucking sucks and I succeeded purity is the absolute worst#I still like him but let it be known that he is genuinely a terrible person and he does some fucked up shit to orbit#and then meanwhile their old lady neighbors are just having some old woman yuri while their local group all fuck everything up#tbf sand and mist have their own issues as well but that mostly circles back around to synchronized light#synchronized light isnt threatening them or anything and in fact theyve been helping keep the two in good condition for a while now#but mist is terrifed that the two could at any moment decide they dont need her anymore and just stop keeping her afloat#she knows that the two only keep her and sand around because they rely on their water output#she doesnt think the two will kill either of them but she does believe that they will leave her to rot sooner or later#and because she is generally the more janky of the two she fully belives that she will be the first to fall of the local group#and she fully believes that when that happens no one will be there for her
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