#give me some god damm respect and talk to me like one.

[bowserplush]

You know as ironic as it is

Support workers are meant to make me be able to access life better

All they’ve done is made me want to hermit more

[loudestcloud]

Time for Luffy's fashion exam! Now, I'll be honest, I did skip an outfit because I decided I will be ending this whole thing with the Strawhat fashion show in Episode of Luffy. Also, sorry for the posting gap, I remembered I have other unfinished post sets. That being said, this is a very long one so let's do this!

Kid Luffy, Post-Enies Lobby & Fish-Man Island: I think it's super cute when Luffy has white t shirts with red based logos because it reminds me of the first picture. Makes him look baby plus, they can always be found in cute domestic EPs or fun, cute flashbacks. The shorts change over time and that's also kinda cute, a range of cuffs is a nice change up. It's nice to see the red contrast the blue shorts and the white is a nice color on him cos it contrast his hair!

Romance Dawn, Enies Lobby, Thriller Bark, Sabaody Archipelago, Amazon Lily, Marineford & last Dressrosa outfit: This look is the pre Luffy look. It's the pre Timeskip look everyone thinks of is cuffed shorts, Kimono sandels and sleeveless vest (and Strawhat, obviously) but have you ever seen them all in a line? It's mad. Each outfit is the same basic look bit more are more spicy each time! I like the Thriller Bark and Sabaody Archipelago looks a little bit more cos it's nice to see that jacket open and it feels like he was trying something new. I also feel that the buttons on the jacket look like the ones on Shanks' pegged ankle sailor pants when we first see him so that's cool. (it took me hours to find the name for his trousers, oh my fucking god) The last Dressrosa outfit feels like a nice callback to the rest of the line up here without being too much cos it's just a red vest top instead and I do find it funny it's like the Enies Lobby and it's used in Dressrosa because of the jokes people make about Robin and Law being so similar.

Timeskip: This is it lads, it's the one true icon itself, the post look! ☺️ When I sit back and look at it I see all the people this look is influenced by and want to cry at how masterful it really is. (Now, I do wanna say that I didn't come up with this nor am I the first to say it and I am definitely probably looking too much into this but) The yellow belt is taken from Shanks' red belt the first time we see him and the Shanks look Luffy is more familiar with. Now onto the jacket. I know it won't stand out as to why for most but it's Ace inspired! When Ace leave to become a pirate, the start of his adventure, he has his jacket open and Luffy having his jacket open also shows his scar from the ending of Ace's adventure. I also really appreciate how no one hides scars in this anime. Also, someone said that the style of the jacket and it's fancy frills could be in reference to Sabo's little jabot collar and honestly I do see it. it's quite subtle unlike Shanks' but not as hard to catch as Ace's so I enjoy thinking that it's there too. Lastly, he still has his cuffed shorts and kimono sandels because it's still Luffy's outfit at the end of the day and he is still who is is, just with a stronger appreciation of what people have done for him now. It's also his colour pallette for the pure fact he is the main character n needs his pallet. also sometimes he just has normal wooden sandels but the same outfit sometimes, it's a small detil a lot of people overlook but I prefer the sound of his Kimono sandels 😊

Dressrosa: I love this outfit cos it's stilly but also has very nice vibes. Looks ready for the beach but is really throwing hands and that's the best kind of outfit, it's a nice expectation subversion tbh. I also like how he tried to hide the Straw hat but not... All of it? And I love how the crew didn't actually question it either. It would have been super easy for one of them to just tell him to leave it behind or something but I do really love how respectful they always are of the hat. I myself have a hat that's super important to me and when I loose it I go mad.

Whole Cake Island: I love this arc for outfits! I swear if the actual content of it doesn't kill me, the act looks will 😭 it's all so magical and it knows it is! Like I said before, white is a good color on him as he has black hair but for the same reason, so is black! In this arcs outfit range, the Staw hat seems almost invisible and his outfit gets less and less 'Luffy' as the arc gose on showing this is not about him. He's not the focus of this arc and you can see that in a lot of the outfits thb. I also like the lack of blue and yellow, 2/3 of his colors as Sanji is often associated with those too as we've talked about before. Also, I like the little red strips on the white jacket with the gold buttons, idk why and I think it's nice that the last 2 outfits are so simple in general, it's a nice look for him. oh, what's that? A Pink jabot? Your killing me Lu, straight up killing me here lil' bro! Side note, is this the first time in canon Luffy has worn a suit jacket or is it the only time I've noticed? Cos DAMM!! Shits sick as fuck and I actually love that when wearing a suit jacket as such he always keep short on 😆

Spa Island, Z's Ambition & Strong World: WHOS READY FOR A RELAXING SUNNY DAAAYY!? (pun not intended but very much enjoyed) I actually adore the fact Luffy still tries to go swimming cos it was his favourite thing to do as a kid so like fuck Luffy is gonna give up on that. He's got his safety measures ready, what more do you want from him? I mean I personally want him not to swim with his hat on cos it's litrally Staw and that's not good for water but anyway Z's Ambition, am I right!? The top is so fucking cute and I just noticed those shorts are also ✨designer✨ fancy man!! Now, the pic of Zoro is the one I missed out before and it's also from Z's Ambition. I love that Luffy has the shark top but Zoro has the ocean shorts. I really love Zoro in this purple cos and thick white stripes really work with the ocean waves. It's really well put together and hes got dark brown sandels on to off set all the white but keep the purple from being a stand out color, it's cool! Than the last Luffy looks like he's at a fashion show. It looks like the shorts come from a kids set the shark top belongs to. Imagine those together, it'd be so cute. However, it isn't an ocean patten, those are clouds cos Nami has a bikini top with the same pattern in Skypiea and it's actually one of my favourites for her.

Boss Luffy Historical Special! This filler AU is so much fun, I think any it a lot. He has his hair up in that super cute and useless way that doesn't actually do much but I do have my hair like that a lot n it's just... nice? Idk, it's strange buy I like he did that. I really enjoy his Kimono more that the actual Wano one cos it's a lot more simple look. The Sai being tucked in in that way is also cool but kinda makes it look like it's stabbing him a bit 👁️👄👁️. I like the pin strips being like a faded purpleish cos if you just glance at it, it makes it look it fuzzy. The belt also looks very nice with the middle ligter bit. It really feels like the Wano one was inspired by this is a way cos of the color matches. Like, it's probably not but still.

3D2Y, Adventure of Nebulandia 😍 & Heart of Gold: Hat-less Luffy is both a sin and a blessing. Regardless, I LOVE OP BOYS IN HOODIES!! I had to show you this specific the 3D2Y because we don't see the hood and it's soooo cute cos it a paw 😍 but also 😬 cos it's like... Kuma's paw the thing that cause 3D2Y in the first place. But that's also why it's so cool at the same time and AHHHHHH 😄 Now! On to Nebulandia! I really like this movie but also in canon, how does he have that jumper? Who made it for him and can I have one? It's Usopp flag design so I guess it could be him but he doesn't seem the type. Point is I want one. Last of this set is some really cosy outfits!! "How much fur?" "Yes" am I right? Like the first one is sooooo cosy with all the fur! Plus, a funky new bamboo hat, always a good thing to have a new hat. I appreciate that you can see the zips on these too. Then the orange turtle neck one with little fluffy bits is just here cos it's so out of his usual looks, I had to at least mention it.

Strong world & Film Z: The shorts on the first one are really cute cos it's a light rosey pink with red fur and just a plain solid dark blue colour jacket works really well. Not to mention the fact he has a super cute orange and yellow flight helmet hat with goggles on under the Staw hat. The 2 bag straps also make an X which is a nice detail. The 2nd outfits in this movie are super fuckin cool ngl. It's so strange to see them all dress in black and have guns but I like the red shirt for him with the yellow highlighted parts. Makes the Straw hat actually work with the outfit instead of ignoring it. Film Z brings us the same flight helmet hat just brighter and without the goggles but also opens with this T-Shirt and Luffy being silly with it. I think that's the only reason to mention it, it's funny. Then the obligation pirate outfit, always stunning plus the meat belt.

Film: Gold & Stampede (also used in Cidre Guild): these are my top 3 Luffy outfits no matter what else I see. I love the straw cowboy hat sooooo much cos it's very Luffy. I like the balls they has as a team to choose white for all of them, considering they are all quite messy people, living for that dad shirt and I like the Golden chain around his neck but am always confused as to why it was never used against him. Like dude could and should have tried to choke him at least once, right? Anyway, the dress! Now, the dress isn't actually that good but it's my favourite because it shows how Luffy has no fucks about gendered things. On to of that, a big pink flower is wonderful and look at his confidences in it, he's so proud of it the boom, Nami told him he can't wear it! Lastly, the Stampede outfit!!! Just like the Nebulandia jumper, I have no idea who made it but it's irrelevant cos it's beautiful and I want it so badly. I like that it's white and red stripes, gives thenprefect vibes for Stampedes opening. The shirt is actually too big for him, you can see on his arms but it's actually super cute. I love the simple look of these shorts then the fact his yellow belt is replaced with white bandages and the black on the kimono sandels are now red? It's such a simple pallet and it's truly the best!

I also just wanna add, I think it's really cute when Luffy has the Straw hat on his back just cos his hair is really cute. Idk why, it's looks kinda cursed but cute at the same time

This post took 2 weeks or so to make and we made listening to the complete BNHA soundtrack, film gold OST and Sonic generations vol.1

Sanji

Zoro

Nami

[fortheheavenssake]

MM ANON II - 1

April 15, 2020

1. April 15

MM ANON …… doctor gone batty……… LA for dummies ……… Doctors Within Borders ……… social insistence ………… hugs not bugs……… absolutely isolated Kate. ……… “ not a whisper ma’am ……… St George’s chapel of course!!…………… with humility skippy, with humility.

2.

Mm anon verified

MM ANON … to forgive Devine. To accept ones shortcomings is a hard pill to swallow especially if like myself your behaviour Is mired in self justification and blind contempt … it’s taken me a long time to ask forgiveness ……… and pride is a killer of the spiritual light. To those who can find forgiveness on their heart I thank them, humbly and sincerely. ……… MM ANON

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3. April 30

MM ANON ……… the only virus ………… wonderful children to hug…… magnificent isolation ma’am……… dirty Megan,clean Harry ……… will never be the same ………… big things for a future princess ……… home cooking ………… “ ground control to major Tom” ………. “ and wash your bloody hands!!!……… an archificial birthday ………… trooping the colours???

Thank you! Happy to have you back!😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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4. April 30

MM Anon

MM ANON …… Many thanks skippy ……… a privilege to return to you all ……… graciously thankful to pg , skippy and all anons. Callidus er populum

Welcome back….😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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5. May 1.

MM ANON … it’ll cost us thousands …… “ ‘‘tis the times’ plague , when madmen led the blind “……… 🎼 all the clubs have been closed down 🎼………… “ if you both don’t stop fighting I’ll send you to Madagascar “ ………… “ one makes ones bed”…………… “ well wash your bloody hands AGAIN!!”…………… “ there so funny on screen Philip” …… Quo victuals est super eam et irrumabo …………… next slide please.

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6. May 2.

MM ANON ……… bless all who come here……… stay safe ……… not sneezing season ……… birthday girls world following ……… sitting on the toilet screaming and howling ……… Plasma fantazma?……… 🎼give a little bit 🎼……… “ I swear ,I’ll send you to bloody Madagascar “……… “another top up sir”………” leave the poor man be Philip “……… “no ma’am not yet” ……… Wilfred!!!!!………… “ Bloody Wilfred!!”……… conspirators will spread another sort of virus.

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7. May 3

MM ANON ………Lucrezia Markle……… For her own well-being … she’s kicking and sedated ……… safety net for Harry ……… a very private LOCK-down ………” GATEWAY“intervention …… “NHS Catherine , Sterling work darling “ …………” yes ,I love Frozen 2” ………… PTA……… “ your experience would be valued ma’am”……… “ I myself am best when least in company “……… absque misericordia

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8. May 4

MM ANON …… granny flap…… delusions of gran-tour…… “ aye, some wantid er’ but Walt dis-ney “…… a p****hub offer worth millions …… a secret return …… Lottie leaded Cambridge assault ……… “ a very prominent speech for VE DAY ma’am”. …… unlocking the unlock able ………… 🎼day by day…🎼………… pause ,pray, proceed. …… optimistic optimism???

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9. May 5

MM ANON …… Thank Dear anon for interpretation …… and yes if you’re struggling dear pg … prayers and hugs

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10. May 5

MM ANON ……… “ hi Kate , how wonderful to hear your voice “😂😂😂………… Archificialy archificial. ……… 🎼but sometimes,ya get what ya need🎼……… “ if you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue “……… a Duchess,a Duchess and a Duchess walked onto a bar……… tunc non transiet ……… an infectious tube……… my my margarita ……… let go let god. ……… ( and Thank skippy).

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11. May 6

MM ANON ………… archificial anniversary ……… “she hasn’t a bloody clue “ ………I speak for Meghan ……… 🎼he’s a real nowhere man🎼……… “ the fool doth think he is wise…… “………… 🎼come fly with me (not)🎼……… A few weeks more …………” we do the outside first Philip” ……… Bloody jigsaw………” Sydney!!!!! “……… “ Mmmmm , interesting, a virtual Balcony “ …………… “ yes , a new medal is appropriate” ………… unlockdown!!! ………… “ give us a hug”.

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12. May 6

MM ANON ……… Sooooooo , where is Harry in the duck / rabbit video????????????????? An archificial attempt to ingratiate herself as a mother of a surrogate child. She looks a tad sheepish 🐏🐏🐏🐏🐏🐏🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑. 😂😂😂😂

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13. May 7

MM ANON … Spider Sandwiches ………… the photographic phenomenon ………… “O Christ, she knows her way round a Cannon” ……… “ modest, small and incremental “ ……… “ she’s still spitting bullets over the duchesses children “ ……… “ my goodness, Charlotte trumps everyone”. ………… another modest outfit. ……… the books a flop, who would buy it? ……… “ dada duck duck”…………”ANOTHER sex tape!!!!! “…………… her irrelevant life………… desperately seeking ANYTHING………… a sad demise Rachael!!

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14. May 7

MM ANON …… dear and inquisitive anons ……… THE RIDDLES ARE “ ENTERTAINMENT “ only, a parody and lightness of spirit and soul! It’s a privilege to be here , by the grace of Skippy …………… enjoy!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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15. VE Day 75, May 8

MM ANON …… My mother was a plotter at Northolt fighter base in 1943 where she met my father who was a pilot, I remember her saying that the Polish pilots were the bravest men she ever met. ………… we shall remember them 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

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16. May 8

MM ANON …… The Queen, god bless her……… blackout ……… the king/ the Queen the nation ……… never give up, never despair ……… the home front……… 🎼some sunny day 🎼………… 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧………… 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸……… 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦……… and all who fought ……… a day like no other……… at the going down of the sun and in the morning ……………… ‘ we shall remember them.

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17. May 9

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜MM ANON ……… Dear pg , your gracious tribute to the riddle. I Ended the post in tears ………………… respect.

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18. May 9

MM ANON …… “ it’s an unlock Jim, but not as we know it “……… on yer bike……… 🎼that’s life,……🎼………… Bar Wars………… survival of the fit-test……………”a vulgar mansion “…………… Spider sandwiches……… an emotional exhibition, Bravo!! ……… now that’s TRUE grit…………… be- bop-a-loo-la RIP……… The Serenity prayer……thank you for this forum xxxxx…………… it will end ,…one day!!

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19. May 10

MM ANON ……… Rachel 43………… archificial 15 months ……… hospitality will become inhospitable ………… the R factor ………… “Henry, don’t do that”. …… return to school??? …………… no guidelines …………… be alert,the country needs lerts………… risk assessment!!! ………… an issue of safety ………… it’s the economy,stupid!! ………… test, Trace and isolate. ………… a silver lining 🌈🌈

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20. May 11

MM ANON …… Thrive???………… definitely Malibu ………wear a mask ………… confusing but amusing ……… a question of credibility ……… 🎼 we can be heroes ……🎼…” what ever happened to wrinkle cream?”……… love and hugs to all our anon friends ……… 🎼 now there are three steps to heaven 🎼………… Brave New World ……… a quiet Queen.

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21. May 13

MM ANON …… for saving my mother ……… father ……… grandmother …… grandfather …son ……… sister……… brother……… daughter ………… thank you for saving my life nurse / doctor /……… how can I EVER thank you all ……… from the bottom of my ❣ ……… I can never find the words ……… my gratitude is unending ……… god bless you all. ……… GOD BLESS YOU ALL!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

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22. May 13

MM ANON ……… “come on Kate, off to Queens”……… Charlotte goes first……… “George ‘ get your bicycle “……… 🎼bye bye miss American spy🎼……… 🎼listen , do you want to know a secret 🎼……… stay alert 🤣🤣🤣……… trains, planes and automobiles……… driving miss day-see? ……… FOUR!!!! …………… an art gallery,when??……… single prayers please.

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23. May 13.

MM ANON …………… to all who visit ………… riddles are entertainment only … a parody ,a light and fluffy expression. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂Thank you all for understanding.

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24. May 14

MM ANON …… school of thought ……… bulldoze in and takeover ……… Braveheart & Boris ………… dead theatre ……… GOT………… Charlotte summer ……… anticipation of antibodies ………… China???………… death of Hollywood ………… 🎼blow a little whistle 🎼………… we have no plan B……… I’m so bored ………… “ we’re gonna need a bigger fence”

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25. May 15

MM ANON ……… a lovely surprise ……… sweet Charlotte ……… it’s teaching Jim, ……………”Harry, you know you’ll always have a place “……………”he’s not happy Catherine “ ……… R1………… re-train………… clubbings, clubbed…… Tea-CHING…………… “ yes, that’s a really good question”…………2 metres for ever???………… a rally in Calais. ………… GBHMTQAOGC 🇬🇧🌈🇨🇦

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26. May 16

MM ANON …… “ I’m keeping my tennis shoes on”……… “I’m not getting out of bed for less than 3mill” …… cold nose undercover ………… a learning yearning ………… “friends thou hast, and there adoption tried “…… …… 🎼ya gotta give a little 🎼……………… “I’m not happy about them returning William “ …………… “ One needs ones hair attended too”………… “ I’ll bloody cut it myself !!”……… “ I know!! … SYDNEY!!”

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27. May 17

MM ANON …… a Diamond evaluator ……… Of no consequence whatsoever ……… straight to credits. ………… LA Confidential ………… 🎼no sir I don’t mean maybe 🎼…………… 🎼Don’t fence me in🎼…………… “ I want Adele you a story “……………… The man from U.N.C.L.E. Harry …………… “ ones lockdown sucks” ………… “ miserable without Boddys old thing “ …………… “Sydney’s slacking “.

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28. May 18

MM ANON ……… a personal loss………… the Dynamic Duo………… FPhishing……Nlcola Nike Snike ………… Hydroxy- foxy(do not do this at home)…………………” a suitable case for ( shhhhh) treatment “ ………… “ no comment “ …………… “ a game of cards old thing “…………… “patience Philip ……………” ………… ma’am , it’s Charlotte and George on tic-toc…………… “dance, gan, gan, you dance, … Sydney!! 

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29. May 19

MM ANON …… Ana-adversity …… the gathering marital storm…………” first family visit will be the United States when normalisation hits ma’am” …………”life will return ma’am”……… Who is that? …………… guesting the testing ……… “ they won’t return early ma’am”…………… “one speaks to Catherine,daily , and the little ones” ……… “it’s interminable Sydney,” …” a Little top-up sir”

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30. May 20

MM ANON … Regarding the gathering of unhappy people, slutmeg only invited the men she had slept with , with their +ones ……… the members of the RF who attended treating it as a pantomime and a priceless observation of side- eyes and laughter. HMTQ look at slutmeg… EPIC. 😂😂😂😂😂😱😱😱😱😱

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31. May 20

MM ANON ……… 5 years old ‘ COVID security …��… transmission admission??……… 1st. June. …………… A pollution solution ………… free at last……… kiss 💋 me 😱😱😱………… another Father???…………… Spanish,French and judo 😂😂😂…………… lies,damm lies, and MM……… an expensive squat………… A Greece-y gamble. ………… “ is one sitting comfortably’ good, Once apon a time “

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32. May 21

MM ANON …… “what , seen at Lympstone “………… a Diplomatic retreat ……… A-Nul-ment………… NY bio-diver-city……… facegrime ………… Charles, a man for all see-sons……… thermal Heathrow ………… 1st Solo address ………… high-end-ing ………… “ clever children, such a lovely dance”……… “ no darlings gan-pops with Sydney “………… “ yes’ we’ll all bake a cake “………… “ pretty Jim-jams Charlotte “.

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33. May 22

MM ANON …… 88 two fat ladies ……… two blacked out Discovery’s in St Leonard’s ……… Priti Draconian …… pray,or else!! ………… gel my temperature ……… wash your hands then wrinkle cream ……… a memorial event ………… Hong-Gone…………” well, wake him up Sydney!!………… “bloody hell Sydney “ ………… “ sorry ma’am , Charlotte wants to play bingo”……… “ wonderful , clickerty duck”

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34. May 23

MM ANON …… 44 million? ………… anons’ how much on clothes?………… “still looked trash”………… evidences of past yachting 😱😱😱😱😱………… LA EX?? ………… “ in Exeter”…………… “ Josh Stones!!“………… a second peak? ……………not in Spain 🥳🥳🥳………… meanwhile in WC. ……… “ gan gan I want a tiara “ ………… “ and one day you shall “ ……… “ is nanny back Catherine?”……… “where’s my bloody slippers “ ……” your wearing them sir”

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35. May 23

ANON … As we all submit our little posts give a thought for the reason we can , it’s the ever faithful skippy and her eclectic forum ……… love, prayers, animals, history, royalty, and silliness ……… god bless you dear skippy 💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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36. May 24

MM ANON …… Cummings going?………Lottie nottie going ……… Harry’s 💡 idea……… “give birth? Incapable!! ……… “during yachting “………… “ I’ve seen the evidence “ ………… “ she lied to TBRF” ……… MOS knows!! …… 🎼we’re all going on a summer 🎼………… to pray or not pray………… “ Pleeeeez gan gan!! “……… “ one day you shall sweet girl” ……… “ next year , if things are admissible “ ……… “ he’s a tad grumpy ma’am”……… “ ignore him Sydney”

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37. May 25

MM ANON …… Charlottes WWWeb……… Rules, What Rules. ……… in flight,flight. ………… Tinsel down……… hugs not bugs ………… non essential retailers open ………… no pubs, sport , cinemas, theatres, …………… Cummings,a shaggy dog story. ……… a very angry electorate ………… “ I want to go school gan gan”………“let’s see your dancing “………”no, school gan gan!!……… “ Oooooo, whats mummy doing “ ………… “ Sydney, refreshments ‘please.

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38. May 25

MM ANON …… MEMORIAL DAY …IN HONOUR OF THEIR SERVICE ……………… 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇬🇧

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39. May 26

MM ANON …… Kate re-opening high street……… “excellent, as retail ambassador “……… W&K will have the public’s ear” …………”a late family tour ma’am’……… “ that’ll put a a Kate among the pidgins” …… “ a damaging tome sir “……… “ opening book shops, how’ll that work?……… “you can’t handle books……… “ o’ Philip, a quiet night”…… “ bloody hell !! What’ no tic-toc ?……… “nanny’s organised bingo”:…… “ ahhh, ……… Sydney ‘ something strong!!

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40. May 27

MM ANON …… KATE MIDDLETON IS A FUTURE QUEEN! She has three beautiful children and a loving husband, solid, grounded and intelligent. THIS IS THE FUTURE OF OUR MONARCHY ,I THINK SHE HAS MORE SPIRITUAL STRENGTH. AND WILL BE THE FOUNDATION OF THE CAMBRIDGE FUTURE. GBHMTQAOGC 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

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41. May 27

MM ANON ………”I get tired of Lottie tic-toc-ing” ………… “little Louis gets tired using the trampoline “……… “ I’m off to Queens,tennis “……… back on his Ducati……… Nanny is making 🥘 paella ………… “I’ve managed to acquire that box set ma’am” …… “ Gangs of London or The Sopranos“……… both ma’am”……… “bloody epic Sydney “……… “ is that bumbling Minister still running round the palace “……… “ tell him to piss-orf”……… “ top-ups”

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42. May 28

MM ANON …… MM drone ing on…… tittle Tatler ……… lockdown tour T-shirt ………… ahhhhhhh, rate!! ……… school digital haves’ digital have nots……… rid the clap!! ………… one metre ………… “ it’s football Jim, but not as we know it “………… “To his good friends, thus wide lle ope my Armes: ……… “ look Philip,it’s Louis bouncing “ ……… “they have a new dance”……… “ return of a routine“…………” Maria and Lottie swimming “ …… “bloody hydrotherapy on Sunday “……… “ I think that’s enough Sydney “

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43. May 29

MM ANON ……… looting/ shooting ………… “ tic-toc Nanny”………… “ ok! Charlotte, get Louis too” ……… “ George,do it properly “……… W&K , It’s a challenging schedule ma’am” …………” there having a bike day at Brands Hatch with Ducati “ ……… “ Nottingham cottage ma’am”………… “like old times ma’ am”……………” I’ll have a quiet word with Donald “………… “ not Philip, his diplomacy is wanting”………… “exiting times ma’am”……… “ one shall insist on compliance Christopher “

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44. May 30

MM ANON …………… another billionaire friend ………… she lies on lies…………desperate for attention ……… a roadmap to nowhere ……… up up and away ……… all white on the night …………LTA talks with Kate ………… MENSA with Charlotte??………… “ bright as a button ma’am”. …… “ not this side of the family “………” there coming over next week”………” Mmmmm , live tic-toc”……… fairycakes Sydney.

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45. May 31

MM ANON …… it Musk be love ……… nine elms………… agent provocateur ………… teetering on the edge………… body cams?? ………… amateur photographers unite ………… front line statue ……… 🎼I heard it on the grapevine 🎼………… “ no darling not today”……” we’re going to visit gan gan” …………”staying overnight ma’am” ………… “ a few days Sydney “………… “ tomorrow night, it’s a little concert Philip, don’t get grumpy “ ………… “bloody hell, I’m low on refreshments. “

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46. June 01

MM ANON … Balmoral Fern………… plastic Nile. ………… in the Bunker ………… Autopsy …………………Truth , Justice and the American way ………… WC welcome …………… “ would one know how to barbecue Sydney??” ………… William will oblige ma’am……”one prefers coronation chicken “…………… “unicorn sausages ,Lottie George??……… “just salad ma’am. “

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47. June 02

MM ANON ……… keep your distance ………” it’s a curfew Jim , but not as we know it “ …… “ A plague o’ both your houses “……… house today , gone tomorrow ………… “all lives matter “ …………… cut and roots and streaks ……… B&EC are reluctant to return ………… Minister misleads testing ……… office of national ridistics ……… 🎼I I see a bad moon rising 🎼………… blackout Tuesday ………… “ “wear a body-cam old thing, then I can pretend I’m riding “ …………… “one would look ridiculous Philip!!”……… “ Sydney, stop pouring “

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48. June 03

MM ANON …… 2020 another royal baby ………… development in Portugal ……… more charges eminent Minnesota ……… a wet summer ………… ISS a strange smell? ……… … London protests …………NAACP……… size 12 , and the shoes 👠 ……………” mummy , mummy- goes viral ………” we’ll old thing, I wasn’t expecting that ending “……… “ so enjoyable Philip ‘ anymore Sydney?……… “ I think Catherine has Peaky-Blinders ma’am” …… “ is it a bit GBH ? “ ……… “ yes ma’am”……… “Ohhhh goody”.

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49. June 04

MM ANON ……MM heartfelt acting……… W&K just heartfelt 💓………… the Tatler connection ………… 🎼stormy weather …………… 🎼………… MadDog…………2nd degree. X 4……………… 14 days to binge. ……… a Russian contamination …………vaccine summit ……… ”that’s a terrible selfie Philip, it’ll frighten her” ………” let Sydney do it!! “ ……… “take one together ma’am” ……… “ give me the bloody thing !! “ …… bloody tic-toc “ ………… “ one zooms” ……… “get him some refreshments Sydney”

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50. June 04

MM ANON …… “ Heartfelt video “ anything heartfelt in the life of MM is self indulgent. A selfish PR attempt to seem engaged in the national conciseness Her agenda …… “how can I make this about ME!!! “ this woman is so shallow. ………… a Caucasian of infinite insults. A pitifully example of insecurity and ego. A walking talking resentment. God help her!!

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51. June 5

MM ANON …… never look a gift bandwagon in the mouth…… everyone is crawling out the woodwork ……… “I’m covert 19 , fly me” ……… M&H on the March??? ………… over 40,000………… flight attendant/ ……… the dodgy R…………… mandatory masks ………… The Amazon too ??? ………… online celebrity … “ There here Philip “ …………” one has to distance darlings “ …… “ yes there lovely shoes” ……… “ look Philip, live tic-toc “………” it’s wonderful wonderful “ ………… “amazing, he’s shot up “ ………” shall we have a little refreshments?”

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52. June 6

MM ANON …… the battle of Whitehall ……… agent Provocateurs………new trading …… it’s a Sunday Jim ,but not as we know it ………… social distancing got wet……… antibodies have the answer ……… R is above 1 in the SWest Of England. 😱😱😱😱……… second spike😱😱😱………🎼when I was 65 ,it was a very good year 🎼………… “ look it’s mummies wedding “ ……… “it’s mummy gan gan” ……… “ yes , so pretty the coach “ ………” I want one “ ……… “ one day sweetie, one day” ………” will you come gan gan ? “ ………… “ I’ll try darling “.

—————-

53. June 7

MM ANON …… I’d like to thank pg /LK and all the anons who attempt/ solve and interpretations of the riddles that skippy graciously lets me post 💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💓💓💓🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧Many thanks to all those who partake.

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54. June 7

MM ANON ……who’s her next favourite millionaire ……… Malibu?? ……… NYC??……… another sad video cry for help ……… archificial ( firsts words) 🤣🤣🤣………… mad / bad & dangerous to know ……… “ it’s me, me film me!! ………… “ turn around!! “ ……… “ he’s not letting her agenda rule” ………” this is not up for debate “………… “yes ones looking forward to traveling up there “ ………” get in touch with the Gillie” …………… “ can one travel to ones other residence?…………… “ can’t find my bloody glasses, Sydney!!

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55. June 8

MM ANON ……D.O.J.……… A Stern retort. ………… the sept. Soothsayer ……… A 14 day suicide for the trade………… in court today ……… Beatrice tooo tu!! …………… wonderful Wessex……… more photos from Kate??? ……… no fuss birthday ………… “ shall one suggest a gathering of 8 .” ………” no, silly’ Balmoral?? ……… MM desperatum iri videbatur……

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56. June 9

MM ANON ……… everyone and their brother,brother ……… wow!! What a photo Kate!!…………… little Louis gets a surprise …………… a well rounded future of three( four) ……… A birthday tic-toc dance………… “ do Catherine , come and bring the children “………… “maybe a change of routine “………… “ Both of you are an example hope”……… “ yes George,I’ll see if we can get to a match”

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57. June 10

MM ANON … Gone……………everything is now B&W…………… “ but’ tomorrow is another day”………… “ but old thing, I look like bloody Bela Lugosi” ………… “ shutup Philip”……… “ just Take the bloody picture “.………”they’ve hardly ever been on a train William “………… “ yes , they’d be very excited 😜 “ ………… 🎼we’re all going to the zoo tomorrow 🎼…………… she lies for exposure……… yachting’ secret exposure !! …………… this time it’s explosive!! ………… “ great scoop Beth.”

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58. June 11.

MM ANON …… dib dib dib……… one metre before July …………care-ing monarch online ……… 🎼What picture,what a photograph 🎼………… DOC museum of photography ? ………. Columbus falls……… “ I shall insist it’s the best TTC old thing “ …………a trace race. ………… Sunday Balmoral?? ………… “ plenty of fresh air for them” ……… “ in the lodge” ……… “C&C can stay here” ……………” your good at this zoom lark old thing “…………… “Group Of eight, a dinner party

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59. June 12

MM ANON …… for the anon who thinks she has superior knowledge of the riddles and has a problem with the wonderful interpretations of LK and pg. ……… I suggest you join the other ignorant anons who pay us a fleeting visit ……………THEN DISAPPEAR!! Skippy, we’re the ones who love you 💜💜💜💜💜

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60. June 12

MM ANON …… my BFF , sacked……… mr President,welcome ……… on mental health ‘ goal……… “they’ll still turn up old thing “………… “ they won’t see anything Philip “ ……… Boris,incandescent!! ……… “🍕 Pizza night children “………… “ thecrown old thing “ ……… “ NO!!” ………… “ we haven’t finished peakyblinders” ……… “ bloody brummies” ……… “ PHILIP!!………… Sydney ‘ we’re out of your refreshment sir “ ………… WHAT!!

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61. June 13

MM ANON …HMTQ was social distancing ……… beautiful in blue……… “ amazing bloody parade “…… to Broach the subject …… “ you looked magnificent old thing”. ……… KHAN GET IT RIGHT …… a WEE disturbing …… hugs 🤗 not bugs……… the China syndrome ……… open market 😱😱😱………… won’t ring Beijing …………… “ Ahhh, Sydney, you refreshed the refreshments “ ………” ignore him Sydney “………… “ I found an old vidio TTC , 1975 Old thing, our favourite hits” ……… “ those were ones days” ………” we looked the mutts-nuts old thing

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62. June 14

MM ANON …… Adeleville……… Westfield?? ………… Charlottes delivery …………… 🎼grab the cash with both hands🎼………… another scam charity …………… she’s a race… ist ………… she publishes the book ………………… we will destroy her, we have the tapes…… “ no more Mrs, nice ma’am!! “ ………… “ ones gloves are orf Christopher ………… “ it was a very good year,old thing “.

——————

63. June 15.

MM ANON ……… Shetland lift-off……… LIZA with a ‘ don’t know em……………” it’s shopping Jim, but not as we show it……… “ matter of fact it’s all dark” …………… first jet easy ………… Brexit,old white guys drinking a lot. …………… a moment of reckoning ……… a virtual Wimbledon?? ………… Catherine to the rescue …… “ Ahhh , a relaxing night old thing “ …………… “Sydney’s provided a new box set” …… “Boardwalk Empire” ………“ bit violent old thing” ……… “ Epic Philip!!”…… “ones usual Sydney “………… “great!! No bloody tic toc.

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64. June 16

MM ANON …… “she Ascot nothing on me” ………… para-thanks William ……… PC , LOST weight??…………Oxford,Oxford ……… STIR-oid ………U-Turn dinner …………… falling tragedy ………… the Paris peasants are revolting ……… ……… “ we can still dress-up cabbage 🥬 “ ………… “Anne, my yellow ensemble”……… “Sydney ‘ a photo”………… “that’s a keeper, old thing” ……… “ here we go , tic-toc, the three of them” ………… “O, and Catherine!!” ………… “ ehhhh, And William “ ………… “ make it a double Sydney “…… “ how entertaining Philip “

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65. June 17

MM ANON … Goal no goal, offside!! …………red zone……… rear ended,whoops!! ………… saliva sample ………… another rally?? …………… a £ 900,000 paint job. ………… madam NYC incognito …………ZOOM to William ……… mutant outbreak confirmed ……………… NDA bombshell. …………joining the UN? …………… Chile lockdown ………”how many episodes old thing “ ………… “ yes , that Nucky chappie is a tad violent” ………… “ she’s meeting at Wimbledon “……………… “ Nanny’s taking them to the zoo”

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66. June 18

MM ANON ……… “NEVER………… “ ………” mon dieu” …… 🎼some sunny day 🎼……… “ good to meet again Mr President “………air corridor ……… “ to be honest,he was an obnoxious old bastard” ……… world beating 🍒……… non app- licable …… “ Bolt-hole. ………… self interest ……… BOE- more money!! …………… pepper sprayed……… “ O Philip, it’s the last one “……… “Always Downton Abbey old thing”

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67. June 19

MM ANON …… HMTQ boost……… cup cakes in kings-him ………… Garden-send-her ……… September kids ………… hack Australia ………… Bei-ching ………… Charlotte & George together ………… no longer alert ?? ………… “ get packed Philip we’re orf soon” ………debt, what debt? ……… slave day………… ONS………… “ bubble bubble- toil and trouble” ……… 🎼teach your children well🎼………… “Sydney ‘ don’t forget my tigger PJs”……… 🎼swing low,sweet chariot 🎼………… “ Cabbage ‘ it’s tic-toc time”.

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68. June 20

MM ANON ……… Hello!! ………… “ It’s a rally Jim , ……… viva espana ………… 🎼drink, drink, drink,🎼…………… black wall……… MM , another agenda!! ………… bollotics ………… “ Kate and William,the children are with nanny “ ………… “ Dover Sole and lemon parfait old thing “………… cream caramel,and Irish coffee Sydney!! ………… “September 9th ma’am. …… “ Stay over Catherine “

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69. June 21

MM ANON … give us a hug………… Duchess of Cambridge Royal collection ……… in the footsteps of lord Lichfield ………… EOS C700 Christmas present … … “ slow the testing down”…………Kung-flu…………… Size matters………… reopening NYC……… “ get ya hair 💇🏽‍♀️💇🏼‍♂️cut” …………… “ 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️🍺 “ ………… Rachel for president?? …………… archificial daddy day?? ……… spotted in St Johns Wood.

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70. June 22

MM ANON ……… noose-car……… Ahhhh, Germany……… BOE-meltdown ………… free at last………… testing the TEST!! 🏏……… Terrorisk ………… ONE ,small step………”I think She’s turning Japanese”………… Saint Lennox …………… A rush of wind…………… “ well now you’re free to be reunited with the little monsters”……… “ bloody hell’ what a joy” ………… “ O Philip ‘ hugs 🤗 lots of hugs” ………… “ and live tic-toc , I can hardly wait “ ………” I’ll have to muster some liquid courage, Sydney!! “

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71. June 25

MM ANON ……”they seek him there” ……… your services are no longer required ……… street rumble ……… phwew, wot a scorcher………… we’ll fight them on the beaches ………… it’s sunburn Jim , but not as we know it ………… mutation sensation ……………🎼you’ll neeeeeeever walk alone🎼……………… sign on the million dotted line ………… take the TRASH out…………… “ a letter ma’am”.

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[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #461

Top Ten Good Things That Actually Happened in 2020

Well, thank God that’s over, am I right?

It feels kinda weird to be sitting here looking back over the wreckage and general weirdness of 2020, a year that pretty much defines the word “anxiety”. I have a lot to be thankful for: none of us died, for a start; we all seemed to avoid The Plague in its entirety for the whole year. We still have a house, we still have food, we always had enough toilet paper, and above all we had each other. It was hard, it was long, it sucked a great deal at times, but there are substantially worse hands to be dealt all things considered.

Anyway, amongst all the crap, there were some good things, too. And I don’t mean the end-year highs of them finding a vaccine, Biden beating Trump, and us narrowly avoiding No Deal by eating a ton of rotten mud instead of actual shit. No, throughout the year, there were actually some things that happened that were genuinely good; great, even.

And so once again, with no further ado, here are my ten favourite things. Like usual, these are, y’know, things that I watched or played or whatever. I don’t go on about my great kids being great, or the fact that I finally finished writing and formatting enough children’s books to start showing them to agents. But my kids were both elected their respective class’s reps to the school council, which is pretty badass. Here you go. Ten good things. Watch them on catch-up, or whatever.

Mega Mando: without a doubt the best “thing” that I saw was the second season of The Mandalorian. Managing to be both an event-of-the-week show (a heist! An infiltration! A siege!) as well as a long-form narrative; feeling distinct and its own thing but tying into so many aspects of Star Wars; full of absolutely excellent scenes and direction and performances; and holy crap what an ending. When you watch a few of these kinds of shared-universe genre shows, this sort of thing is a rarity to the point of my never having seen it before. Seasons that are too long? Filler episodes? Disappointing lore? A “thirteen-hour movie”? Mando swerves all of these things and – notwithstanding my love for The Last Jedi – emerges as possibly the best thing Star Wars has done since at least the classic LucasArts games of the late nineties.

Series SeXy: finally the new consoles came out, and I got an Xbox Series X. It was quite a ride for yours truly: I managed to successfully pre-order one from Microsoft directly; it turned up on the day of release, except it was late in the evening and the kids were around so I couldn’t open it; then, after briefly testing it, I shoved it back in its box till Christmas. Honestly, you wanna talk about anticipation much? It was literally in my house and I still didn’t properly set it up till the evening on Christmas Day. Anyway: it’s great. It just works, y’know? It’s a beautiful boxy delight, with its chunky green holes and its shiny edges. It makes all my games look amazing, it’s so fast and buttery-smooth. It’s like upgrading a PC, but far more successful and expansive an upgrade than I was ever able to do when I was actually upgrading a PC. Anyway, it’s great. It even runs Cyberpunk 2077.

Lockdown Crossing: Animal Crossing: New Horizons arrived at exactly the right time. Lockdown was starting, everything was darkness and fear, people were dying, we needed distractions, and here was a game about being happy and friendly and doing up your house and digging up fossils. It was perfect. It was also a great social game, with my kids loving sending presents to each other, or meeting up with their uncle (who they literally saw only once this year). A great game at just the right time.

The Stream Where it Happens: Mando might have been my TV highlight of the year, but film-wise my favourite new movie was not only not really a movie but was also several years old. Hamilton popped up almost by surprise on Disney+, and it was the first time I’d been able to experience it – and it was just as good as I’d heard. At this point you don’t need me to rhapsodise about the lyricism, performance, staging, and West Wing references; I think you either get it or you don’t, and I got it big time. Weirdly, experiencing it at home made some kind of perfect sense, and it made up for missing out on the big cinematic musicals such as In the Heights and West Side Story.

Fantabulous Harley Quinn: Harley rocked on both the big and the small screen this year. Birds of Prey, or whatever it ended up being called, was actually the last film I saw at the cinema before the Big Shutdown of 2020. It’s not perfect, sure, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun; Margot Robbie is a blast, it’s really funny, and is edgy in just the right way, rather than feeling like it’s trying too hard. I was more sceptical going into the Harley Quinn animated show (starring Penny off The Big Bang Theory, for goodness’ sake!), as “sweary adult Harley Quinn cartoon” is pretty high on my checklist of “things that are trying to be edgy”, but I’m glad I gave it a chance, because it followed a very similar line to the movie. Hilarious, violent, filthy, but also offering a subtle unpeeling of Harley’s psyche and giving her more character development than she gets in most of her comic appearances. It was a great year for Harley. Just wish they’d show the second season of her show.

All This Plus Disney: yeah, I’ve already singled out Mando and Ham (great unmade detective show, there), but I’ve gotta say Disney+ in general has been a huge highlight. From getting all yer Marvels and yer Star Wars in one place, to a wealth of preschool and middle-grade shows for the kids (my youngest mainlined Vampirina this Spring), to being a home for loads of high-quality family films from years gone by (it was the prime destination for many a family movie night), to, well, the future. WandaVision launches in a couple of weeks, followed by dozens of great shows and movies; not just ones about sad superheroes, either – personally I can’t wait for the likes of Chip & Dale. I’ve gotta say, I’ve been really impressed, and once they roll out the sexier, swearier Fox stuff later this year, it’ll only get better.

A Schitt Year: we got into Schitt’s Creek rather late (like many a sitcom – I think we only discovered Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Good Place in the last eighteen months or so), but it’s truly sublime, and it only got better and better as it built towards it joyous climax (ewww, David!). It was a great show about a family of people who were kinda arseholes, but were really very nice underneath it all, and how this town of people who were sorta idiots but kinda nice underneath it all brought out the better natures of everybody. It was, basically, a show about the all-encompassing power of being Nice. I’m so, so happy that it achieved huge success in its final season, winning literally all the Emmys. Hot Schitt.

Top Trek: 2020 was bookended by the two newest incarnations of People Boldly Going, Picard and Discovery. I was super excited to check in with Jean-Luc and pals nearly twenty years since we’d last seen them; although the show wasn’t a Best of Both Worlds-style masterpiece, it presented a believably fractured vision of the Federation, and a sadder, wearier Picard. It got a bit bogged down in Borg stuff, and I wasn’t totally sold on the ending, but I’m very, very eager to spend more time with these characters in future seasons. Discovery, meanwhile, flashed forward, with a season set about 900 years after Picard, and gave us what amounts to the closest Star Trek gets to a dystopia. It took its time settling in, but by crikey it pulled its threads together for a great run of episodes as we gear up to the finale later this week. I’ve very much enjoyed Star Trek on TV this year, and I’m really looking forward to whatever comes next.

Netflickin’ Ass: on the one hand, it was quite nice to see streaming services picking up the slack during the cinema closures, with many films winding up on Prime Video or Netflix or wherever; there were also those “Premium VOD” options, such as Trolls World Tour or Mulan, but I never quite fancied parting with so much cash for a rental (“Only if it’s Black Widow or Wonder Woman,” I said… so, yeah, see you later this month for the latter!). One trend I did notice, however, was Netflix also picking up the slack of “big Hollywood star-driven action movie”. Y’know, the stuff that had Van Damme or Seagal in it in the ‘90s, before everything became franchised (Mission: Impossible could almost fall under this banner, but Cruise became too huge and the series itself eventually was the draw, I’d argue). Anyway, these sorts of films nowadays are low-rent DTV fodder starring slumming former megastars, so fair play to Netflix for resurrecting the genre and giving it a fresh coat of paint and lease of life. Stuff like Extraction and The Old Guard weren’t exactly masterpieces, but they were solidly entertaining with great central performances and some nicely turned-out action. Looking forward to more of the same – bigger, better, and with more people getting killed with rakes!

A Summer of Anticipation: it was a weird year – well, yeah, of course it was, you know, you were there. But one of the things that was weird was that so much was going to happen. I mean, there were loads of things I was looking forward to as the year began; from the MCU and Star Wars shows to big movies, smaller movies, and – of course – new games consoles. And as the year went on, amidst the angsty real-world wait-and-see, there was also a steady drip of news and non-news as we held on to find out which films were pushed back, which were skipping the cinema, and mostly what the games would look like on the new consoles. Barely a week seemed to go by without new rumours, new stories, and new leaked videos or imagery. It was maddening and infuriating but also, weirdly, glorious. This strange ongoing sense of anticipation and wonder, even if quite often the news ended up being disappointing as more and more big hitters slipped to 2021 (everything from Bond to Halo to pretty much the whole MCU). But like an entire year made up of Christmas Eves, it felt for the longest time that anything was possible… just round the corner.

See? It wasn’t all bad. And maybe this year we’ll get to enjoy all the stuff we thought we’d enjoy in 2020! I mean, at the very least, Trump’s gonna be gone… right?

[coldlipsmag]

PHONELESS IN BERLIN

Words: Kirsty Allison

All photographs by Martyn Goodacre, except images of Danielle De Picciotto’s art, and Alexander Hacke’s studio…and the portrait of Morgan, by Kirsty.

Clouds’ shadows camouflage the sea. Sardine boats dodge the lifeboat wind farms. I jet-trash over last night’s cab, and the phone left on the back seat.

SCHONEFIELD AIRPORT

“Yes,” with an ‘of course’-face, “It has all the streets on it.” The tourist board office give me a map with the VisitBerlin travel card – 41E for 6 days, generous. I like free travel, and I like maps. Not Maps that rhyme with apps. I see the island of West Berlin – I put all the streets in my long black woollen notebook pocket.

U-BAHN/S-BAHN

Map in a glass cage – no index – I’ll take a photo – look at it when I’m moving – I can’t take a photo. My cogs shift from the cybernet dimension.

Alone. Letting go of my infatuation with being monitored, I feel an analogue glitch, a slip of fortune as I enter the low-rise city, uninterrupted with pings.

A watch. I could buy a watch – to tell the time.

I could walk rather than do the connection.

THE HORRORS / Synästhesie Festival / Volksbühne

“The people putting this festival together told me this granite floor was from Hitler’s Bunker,” says Anton Newcombe of the Brian Jonestown Massacre and A Records, DJing in the green room, two floors of sweeping staircases up in the People’s Theatre of Mitte’s Rosa-Luxemburg Platz – once the centre of East Berlin’s GDR.

“Do you believe them?” I ask, of the 8MM Bar promoters who put the festival together. We consider the plausibility, the Nazi star, in dirty creams and blood reds.

Mark Reeder later confirms it to be from the Nazi Vice Chancellor office. And of the cenotaphs stashed beneath the KuDamm – the Nazi spikes. Close enough. Anton is a hero – DIG! the film he stars in aside spars, The Dandy Warhols – an essential on the rock n roll rites-of-passage Reading List. Between his selection of classic psychedelia: “I was born in 1967, in California, of course I’m psychedelic”, with highlights such as Fabio Viscollios 7”, he sets the record straight on all kindsa connections that zip around my references of the night – the stars that guide us, the magnets who form us.

Arrival in Neukölln

So 90s, no blue arrow locator. Without the digital psychographic veils of my screen, the meaning of wrong direction changes – I love to travel, to feel on top of the globe, wherever you walk, with only the weight of the identifiers you carry.

Natural order leads me to Stroke Order – my faux-god-sista, of the Sacred Sound Club – her haus is pink. Y3 shoes, high ceilings, dribble shower, CK mirror. She’s a costume designer for films, but has been hiding out here for a year. Making minimal techno – using autonomous sensory meridian response samples – sounds that turn us on.

Our mothers are pretend godmothers to me and her. She grew up in Vancouver. Dad is a motorcycle racer and ballet dancer in Japan.

Synästhesie Festival / Volksbühne

CAMERA take to the main stage of seated theatre hall. Brutalist fractal collage films of matrix shifting cities, juddering with intent. Projections of you watching me watching you – perhaps being shot live in the auditorium – full scope. Beaming around the physical force of a standing drummer triballing out for a 20 minute set on a bass drum, snare and cymbal. The centre-piece. Astral simulacrum to The Egg who I played with earlier this year. The standing drummer keels in sweat, throws a death white sheet over the drums as though he has beaten them dead, only to dampen their noise, and continue hitting and hitting. Keys, 2 x guitar, sitar bass, different genereration radical on sax – elf dancing.

I’m reminded of the need for parameters – the ones we invent to live inside. The significance of numbers plays on the screens – another hallucination. A replacement for seeing everything through snapshot Insagram lens. Abandoning our digital religion – is so FKK (freikörperkultur – the GDR East Berliners act of rebellion was to strip on Sundays around the lakes – to rip off the communist soaked nylons of identikit clothing*). So naked.

TANGERINE DREAM

A violinist in black – modular synth Memotron on one side – a bank of other buttons on the other side. One life. One nerve shatters and then rest follow. First they twitch, and glitch the matrix…

I catch a bit of THE PINS – all girls – superhot, riot grrrrl electronica.

THE HORRORS

Violent Lenin Uber Alles track shatters across the increased scale of the stage for this headline performance – punk anger of East Berlin, red deco chandeliers of alles Ku-damm Cabaret glory. Waiting for Faris Badwan, the singer who I first interviewed for Dazed and Confused, making a film about his illustration – and exhibition, I wonder about the symbolism of genre/sound/music/art as signs of the times – about resonance – of what we are creating and producing – of X Factor sounds as the capitalist panacea – of our art resonating our environment – or us gravitating towards it. Stroke Order making techno in Berlin.

The futurism of white noise perfection – the dystopian values, four albums in from when I first met Faris – he was maybe 23 then. Unsure if he was going to carry on at St Martins art school. By the time I interviewed him again for Vogue, he was not going back.

And here, seated in the very front row – I witness the evocation of destiny – he’s become less of the shy frontman, but someone who is commanding the respect of the universe – he violently whips the mic lead – he hails the pulses of front row screamers, bonding their necks with rubber wire – he in black PVC – guitarist in red lipstick – beautiful rockstar boys. Lyrics are lost in the Elritch reverb – Faris is crown stealing. Volatile black energy of goth industrial – contemporised by Tom Furse – and his techno pyramid synths. Ice sweat dripping Hackney vampire bassist Rhys Webb. Faris has become storming iconic balearic, striding over theatre seats, in smart city shoes. It’s cosmic goth, it is power – it is owning the depth of Poe hell to Blakean heavens. From voyeurs to submission, the audience leave satisfied.

WEDDING/NW multi-cultural reaches of the city.

Fire station studio. Danielle De Picciotto walks us across a courtyard in twilight. Pyramid of flowers, split by stairs to a below-sea-level, waiting buddha, draped with beads. Left and right basement of Californian security doors, co-joined studios, His and Hers. Drums on the male side, Alexander Hacke, Einsturzende Neubatten – poles of metal to hit. Next door: paintings of black and white folklore S+M dolls with tripped out wings, and photograph reflections. Hers. With tea. Laughter. Discussion. Love. She is love.

***

Lost – ghetto kid guides me and Stroke Order to the ambient dinner in a bar beneath a block in Wedding: soundproof triangles of three-tone pastel shaved hardwood. Clean vegetables, and a series of performances from three post-Akai-ists. Poetry, soundscapes layering paranoic schizophrenic voices – a DJ girl in from Seattle. The residents, ex-pats, from across Germany, and the world – carrying less ego than London. A wholesome intellect carries through, it gets lost in the whirl of London survival. I think back to hanging with the man commonly known as Rodent, the Sex Pistols’ sound tech – he was saying everything is lost in our digital times – the lack of ability to hang out together, they had to live frugally, himself in the studio of The Clash. The intensity of art. It’s easier here. To get involved in your creativity – away from the grab.

SUNDAY

Home jukebox, coffee, and Okay Cafe cinnamon swirls at Jason McGlade and Anne-Cathrin Saure’s (the art director/photographer, and designer of Cold Lips II, and co-createurs of the Shedville font). They moved back here recently – but Jason’s back and forth to London, working on an incredible analogue Polaroid project.

Stroke Order and I head out to Berghain – but instead collide with a very old friend who’s been living in Thailand for 14 years – Martyn Goodacre. He took the most iconic picture of Kurt Cobain, and many more. We tried doing music together when we worked on magazines. We go to a bar, meet with a midwife – talk about the horror show of birth, the guidance into the world, policed by the womb and the channel to birth and the rejection from the vulvic eye. The propulsion.

MONDAY MORNING COMING DOWN FROM AN EMAIL THAT IS CHANGING MY LIFE

Space, China – coffee with Mark Reeder. His vinyl of Mauderstadt is out now. I’ve just run a trilogy of stories on him in DJ Mag, explaining his part in Berlin, from being the Factory rep in Berlin in Joy Division days, through to putting on punk gigs in East Berlin, recording the music in gay bars to play to New Order – thus Blue Monday – and since, from inventing trance music with his label MfS – getting Paul van Dyk on the map – he’s the man. His uniforms. Rare light.

“Danielle [De Picciotto] and Katia – Love Parade would never have started without them.”

[Love Parade was the street party that began in the ecstatic reunification of East and West Berlin. The wall came down in 1990. The old GDR was a wild land. Read Danielle De Picciotto’s Beauty of Transgression for more…or watch Mark Reeder’s B-Movie…and his forthcoming E-Movie.]

He realises he’s late for his lunch…

Alone, back on the Neukölln streets, I look into the door of a Moroccan cafe – get called in by a round-faced Muslim woman, grey jumper, jeans – trainers – Tangiers market vibes, enter – beans – good – no English – point at a box – I don’t know if she knows I don’t want a tagine but takeaway – they waterfall me mint tea – the door slams shut. There are stickers on the wall tiles – plastic table cloths. Am I about to be drugged? Locked in – I have few Euros and no phone to be stolen.

I sit, read the Unspoken Berlin I’ve picked up – and wait for either the drugs to kick in, or to relax. Oh, some brot on the table – no it ain’t Gucci Bloom sea hedgehog fennel and jerusalem artichoke, chestnut puree and scallop, purple watercress like the exquisite experience of Lokal where local ingredients will dance on plates for us later – nor is is it as refined as the Techno sauna we’ll meditate in around the bar – but it is E2.50 and beautifully wholesome – the chickpeas are larger than London.

—-

Neurotitan have taken Cold Lips and my last 3 copies of Unedited. Stefi there is lovely. It’s somewhere that’s always called me on previous trips to Berlin. Many putting a film together that became impossible, about Manuel Gottching, of Ash Ra Tempel – and E2:E4 – the most sampled record – inventor of ambient – before Eno, before the HANSA recordings of Iggy and Bowie. I tell Stefi of my gig last night with Whisky and Words at the Keith bar – where Stroke Order – her pals – and Jason McGlade come by – and Mark Reeder. And Rasp Thorne [post coming to Cold Lips soon, or buy the second edition for total spread]- the consumate performer – lighter over here – my lips are still red from the wine. Stephen Crane. Rasp’s performance of Crane. He’s so good.

Everytime I get on a train here the stasi black jacket ticket checkers are on the same carriage. It’s happened to Morgan 3 times in her year here – and 3 times with me in as many days. I am able to fight my usual paranoias from the top of my Maslow pyramid – the email from a publisher – saying he wants to publish my novel – the one I have had two agents hawk around in 11 years – during which time, I have changed, and so has the story. It is the best email I’ve ever had. Here, lying in bed on the Monday morning after meeting with Anton Newcombe and front row for Faris – Faris frow.Two days later, I’m still flying, as I hit EchoBucher, back in Wedding – they’re taking some Cold Lips…I drop into Potsdamer – meeting… No fucking way. Ticket checkers.

Zug Fallt aus!

You have amazing eyes – you look like Madonna said the guy from Milano – I’m hoping he means old skool hot Madz. En route to the airport – delays – nerves shot / triggering towards Parkinsons and spiked dreams. He calmed me – so did the guy who was also travelling to Stansted – as we ran for the plane, and vice versa. Detoxed from the phone, train home, to the temple – travelling with Alice A Bailey. Nanobotic karmic overide. More ticket inspectors – haunted by the stasi – on plane now – could do with some extra O2 from the overhead locker after running in a coat I just bought which I think I may be allergic to. But it’s so warm.

*German born LA-resident, Benedikt Taschen, the art collector and publisher, has directed the content of the new EAST GERMAN HANDBOOK. An encyclopedic collab with Wende Museum, a place of Cold War artefacts in Culver City. It’s a compendium of communist porn – picture-led, masonically-charged graphics of the whole nine yards of life behind the wall – from ideal weaponary to food, fags, appalling vodka, and the requisite communist shit shoes. It’s got 50s utopian vision written all over it.

[mi6013davidmcdermid]

Characterisation

Characterisation defines itself as the way that the writer creates, reveals and develops the character towards the audiences throughout narratives. If for example I had a great story line but the characters were dull and had no engagement behind them then this would effect the whole story, however if I had a strong character base but no story line then the characters would in fact lead the story line for me based on how strong they are. When thinking about characters and what roles they play in my script I need to think about how they react with on another and also what choices they make when faced with conflict. Leading them to becoming more developed as characters and allowing audiences to see what they are like. Characters reveal themselves through the choices and conflicts that they face. The characters or character that I am writing about should be on a journey otherwise why else would I be telling the story as there would be no purpose towards it. They should learn something about themselves or possibly experience or resist a change. This journey is linked to the structure of the narrative arc and is called the character arc. These start in act 1 where there is reason for change, act 2 where the learning occurs and act 3 where the change occurs. I should give my character difficult choices throughout the story so that you can see the truthiness of the character. There needs to also be some sort of motivation for my character and why they are on the journey that they are on. Everyone has some sort of weakness and in story writing this is called the fatal flaw. The main character will need to face and overcome this at the climax part of my script which is in act 2. If main character does not overcome this flaw then you have a tragedy, where something awful may happen at the end.

First Exercise 

George is well groomed, polite, thoughtful, organised and has stable relationships with all his friends and family.

Flipping this around George could be messy and does not look after himself, rude, not thoughtful at all, unorganised and have shaky and unstable relationships with both family and friends.

- A Preacher that George met on the street

- Unthoughtful and rude

George sees a Preacher talking about Religion

‘I wish someone would tell me why he is just standing there talking a load of nonsense, like who wants to hear about religion on the streets anyways its just a load of shit. Believing something is up there is just beyond me and I don’t see how anyone could want to believe it when there is absolutely no proof of God or any of that other stuff existing.’ 

‘I remember once my mam was trying to get me to go to Church because gran had passed a week ago and she took this religious surge all of a sudden, she said it was just out of respect to come with her and support her. Can she not support herself when she goes there? Shes a grown woman with adult responsibilities am sure she can take herself there sit down by herself, watch whatever they do, sing a hymn and head back home without me babying her all the way through it. She was adamant that I was being unthoughtful and I really could not have cared less, until the day I die I am not going near a Church or any sort of religion.’

- To connect with others but is a compulsive liar

George sees a Preacher talking about Religion

‘I quite fancy joining some sort of religion actually, I wonder how accepting they would be of me though. I am pretty confident talking to others and sitting in the house all day by myself doing nothing but look at a screen and talking to no one is just not for me. I seemed to loose so many friends so quick after that incident with Tony, even though it wasn’t even my fault. He knows that too, must have just told everyone. I’ve stopped letting it get too me now though, just a misery if a keep thinking about it.’

‘Mam thought I was going to school today, just like everyday, but I've just came to town instead, she’s so thick sometimes, literally told her I got A’s in all my mock GCSEs, well what do you think I got. Yeah not that. I also found myself telling my friends, or so called friends, what made up grades I got only for them to ask to show them and I said that I threw the bit of paper out instead. It just makes life so much easier you know, don’t need to worry about getting told off for something that I didn’t do or getting picked on because I didn’t get as good grades as my ‘friends’. I have even heard about people making up their grades on CVs to get a good job because they don’t even check them anymore. Sounds like a damm good idea to me like.’

[mvssmallow]

Cloudy With A Chance

Part 10: …of A Late Change (1 of 3)

Masterlist

“No.”

Jiwon is barely two steps out of his bedroom when Yoyo gives him his first unsolicited review.

He figures Yoyo is still in “Curator Mode”. He’d been working for months organising the big art exhibition at the Gallery downtown and had volunteered both June and Jiwon to hand out the information handbooks for the show. It’s not Jiwon’s first time on handbook duty but last year’s show was closer to Banksy than Botticelli and he was allowed to wear his regular clothes for it.

But tonight was different. He was given instructions to wear “something neat and respectable” so he chose his newest and cleanest white t-shirt and blue jeans. It looked fine. He’s worn them before and Hanbin said it was fine. So it must be fine.

“It’s new-” He starts, pointing to the white fabric that hadn’t even begun to go gray yet.

“No. Go change.” Yoyo says sharply before turning to walk back out into the living room.

“Crazy bloody art people….” He toes his door shut, takes off the jeans and t-shirt and stands in front of his small wardrobe to look over his collection of oversized t-shirts and jeans. His wedding/funeral suit no longer fit since he started hitting the gym regularly. He sighs loudly before throwing on a black button down shirt and the tightest pair of jeans he owned. It’s black. This is an Art Event. This is surely their uniform.

He wanders out into his living where Yoyo was now on the phone to June. He gets a judgemental survey up and down before Yoyo shakes his head and turns back to his conversation. “Hey babe? Can you bring your navy suit over too? It’s in the closet next to all the work shirts…oh and that blue tie you wore to your sister’s graduation……no I haven’t changed my mind! Bring everything we agreed on plus that navy suit.”

Jiwon rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in surrender before sitting down heavily on his couch. Yoyo had come over early with boxes of hanbooks that needed to be sorted but Jiwon suspects he also just wanted to supervise his dressing process.

“….yeah, he looks tragic. I can’t have him looking like he just rolled off the street or one of those hip hop videos. Nothing is tailored! Yes, I know that’s his style but……..well, doesn’t Hanbin deserve to see him dress nicely for once? That poor kid….I don’t want him to think that I’m willing to let my friend look like a peasant.”

He perks up at the mention of Hanbin’s name. A small smile spreads over his face despite Yoyo’s insulting tirade.

It has only been a week since they had their talk at his garage and he’s pretty sure he’s burned through most of his phone credit on text messages already. As much as he loves talking to Hanbin, the faceless aspect of texting gives them both the overconfident courage to say things that they probably wouldn’t if they were face to face. Well, not yet anyway.

Yoyo had insisted on inviting Hanbin to the exhibit and was only more excited when he remembered that Hanbin’s magazine was the same one that emailed him about an interview and article. Yoyo had looked mortally wounded that Jiwon hadn’t mentioned it earlier, smacking his arm painfully during dinner and waving his chopsticks in his face, threatening to cut off his meal privileges until he introduced them.

Jiwon loves his meal privileges and he knows the main reason he’s even remotely healthy is because Yoyo and June are both great cooks and let him crash their dinners. The only thing he can cook up is a plan to get take-away.

He had really wanted to enjoy the almost secret situation he had with Hanbin for a little bit longer but then again….free food. He’s not proud to say that he folded like a piece of paper.

“JUNE. God, why are you defending him?” Yoyo exclaims loudly, jolting Jiwon out of his thoughts.

He watches Yoyo pinch the bridge of his nose as he continues to argue with June over the phone. “I need him to look neat. It’s my reputation too. Just bring the damm suit and tie okay….okay, thank you! See you soon.”

Yoyo hangs up and turns around in his chair with victorious smile. Jiwon always knew who had the upper hand in their relationship and it wasn’t June. Ever.

“Did you come over just to dress me?” Jiwon asks.

“You said you’d help me with the handbooks!” Yoyo says innocently, overdoing it and giving himself away completely.  

“Why do you care so much about how I look tonight anyway? You let me wear shorts last time.”

“That was modern street art. Nobody really cares what you wear to those shows. Tonight’s show is Impressionism and Post-Impressionism. Weren’t you listening when I told you? It’s the biggest show I’ve ever put on. All the lifestyle magazines are coming you know. And besides, isn’t it your first official outing with Hanbin? Since your whole melodramatic argument?”

Jiwon lets out a groan. “Geez, does June have to tell you everything?”

Yoyo only laughs at him. “You know that’s how things work, kiddo. But on that topic, I haven’t fully forgiven you for hiding Hanbin from me so I want a proper introduction and I want to ask him at least two questions before you go all Kevin Costner Bodyguard on everyone.” Yoyo makes his demand with his arms crossed over his chest and Jiwon’s always taken aback by how much Yoyo reminds him of his parents. He was like a dad or a mom without any kids.

“What? When have I ever gone Kevin Costner on anyone?! I’ve literally never hidden any boyfriends from you guys.”

Yoyo rolls his eyes to the left and Jiwon swears it’s the one that looks exactly like June’s condescending eye rolls. It was completely true: couples do tend to morph into each other after a certain amount of time.

“Exactly.” Yoyo says, as if it explained everything.

Jiwon looks at him in bewilderment. “What the hell that does mean?! You didn’t even answer anything.”

“You’ve never hidden anyone before. No offence but I got so sick of hearing about that last guy. He thought Da Vinci was French. Da Vinci doesn’t even sound French! I mean, really Jiwon. Have some standards please.”

He lays down on the couch in a big huff. “Oh my god! You’re never gonna let that go are you? I told you! He was a rapper! Why the hell would he know anything about 16th century Italian art?!”

Yoyo looks proud of his knowledge for a split second before going back to Mom-Mode. “Because Da Vinci is a creative genius and I judge anyone and everyone who doesn’t know of him. People should know Da Vinci, okay? Hanbin knows about him right?”

“Of course he does! He might know more than you actually.” Jiwon knows that’s probably not true but he can’t help getting Yoyo all riled up about art history.

Yoyo laughs derisively. “Ha! As if. Well, at least I’ll have an intelligent person to talk to when we have dinner together.”

“I’m telling June you said that.”

“Do it. It might make him lift his game a bit or listen to me once in awhile. I swear he just turns off his hearing when I start talking about art stuff.” Yoyo says with a sigh. “You guys drag me to all those DJ and rap events and I never complain….”

Jiwon scoffs loudly at that.

“…..but I drag you to one art thing and you both treat it like you’re going to war.”

“But we still go.” Jiwon points out.

Yoyo hums in agreement, features softening somewhat. “Well, yeah. That’s true.”

They spend the next 15 minutes stacking the handbooks into boxes and waiting for June to drive over with the suits.  

Jiwon is in the kitchen making them a cup of coffee when he hears June barging through the front door.

“Did you bring it?!” Yoyo’s excited voice.

“Yeah yeah….” June’s resigned voice.

He walks out with the mugs and nods a greeting to June before handing Yoyo his coffee.

He eyes the navy suit drapped over June’s arm with trepidation. “You expect me to wear that?”

“Yes. You’ll look great! He’ll be all blown away.” Yoyo bounces excitedly, causing June to reach out and grab the mug from him before he starts waving it around and splashing hot coffee all over the floor.

“Babe, I don’t think Hanbin’s with him for the visuals.” June smirks before taking a sip from the mug.

“Hey! He likes how I dress!” He interjects defensively.

“Is that what he said?” June says skeptically. “Well, he must have the patience of a saint and the honesty of a politician.”

He half expected Yoyo to come to his defence, the good cop to June’s bad one, but he gets nothing of the sort.

“Awww, he’s telling you white lies already. Must be special.”

Jiwon watches as they share a knowing look between them. He wishes he could be irritated with them but a part of him just also yearns to have that kind of bond with someone, to get to that point where you can share knowing looks and private in jokes that the rest of the World isn’t a part of.

It’s this line of thinking that convinces him that maybe Yoyo was right. Maybe he should make a bit of an effort for Hanbin. It wasn’t a proper date but they will spend time together and he wouldn’t want Hanbin to ever think that he wasn’t worth making the effort for.

He holds on to this thought as he lets Yoyo coax him into June’s navy suit before dragging him into the bathroom and running wax through his hair.

It takes a long 25 minutes before Yoyo stands back to look at him, nodding and humming with satisfaction. “Damm, I’m good. If this doesn’t get you laid then I don’t know what will.”

Jiwon colours immediately and, because God must want to test him today, June walks into the room right at that moment.

“Holy shit, are you actually blushing? In a suit that fits? With wax in your hair?” June laughs in disbelief. “Now, I’ve seen everything.”

“OKAY. Thank you. Haha. Very funny. Let’s all just go now please.” Jiwon motions them out of his room but June stops in his tracks.

“Hang on. Did you blush because you’re not hitting any home runs?”

“I am not talking about that! So don’t even ask me.” He replies tersely before sliding his phone, wallet and keys into his pocket.

“Oh my god. Seriously?” Yoyo looks at him with wide eyes. “Are you suddenly religious again? Like that time you were chasing that church guy? No sex before marriage?”

Yoyo tries to hold back his laughter. June doesn’t even bother.

And Jiwon just groans in frustration. Free food. Free food. Think of the free food.

“No! We just haven’t got to that part yet so don’t bring it up tonight when you see him. I swear to God, I’ll key your car and tell your parents about that time you both smoked weed in June’s house and I had to take the blame for it.”

The laughter dies abruptly.

“Dude….”

“Yeah, don’t ‘dude’ me! Just shut the fuck up about my sex life okay? And DO NOT ask him about it.”

He walks past them with a smirk. Well, he feels better already.