#give these two their emmy now

[lobeliamaximoff]

THEY

[winepresswrath]

THANK YOU for explaining the Louis/Armand fight with such clarity. Like obviously Armand has the ultimate power over the relationships here and the way he behaves in this episode is world class terrible, we can all see that, but I feel like I've been going crazy when people are softening Louis's words as light banter while Armand responding somewhat in kind is framed as malicious suicide baiting.

It's not my take but I would understand if people were approaching this as "Armand sucks so bad and technically can leave whenever so I give 0 fucks what Louis does or says to him," but "Louis was just being mean" doesn't track for me. He is at this point in his life using regularly enough that Armand's first response when he gets vicious is a bitter "here comes the drugs." He's used to this. Addiction is a complicated and terrible disease but Louis is Armand's partner, for whatever reason, apparently (big caveat) of his own volition and he responds to Armand being upset about his cycle of risky drug use and insincere apologies with a "you're boring and smothering" speech before turning on a dime to "cringe of you to be a victimized. it's given you a real victim mentality" when Armand says he's boring too. It's legitimately reprehensible behaviour! And that's fine. I will continue making heart eyes at him whenever he appears on screen undeterred.

[industryhbo]

WHAT is going on with the hacks promo this year

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

sarah goldberg not getting an emmy nomination is going to be my joker moment

[talaok]

Love your writing! Could we please do a cute pregnant reader x Pedro going to and at the SAG awards in honour of our boy winning! 🤍🙏🏼

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x pregnant!reader

a/n: this is how i found out he won btw. I'm so happy for him i cant even, I just love that fucking guy gosh ahhhh (as always this request skipped the line bc it wouldnt make sense in a month)

Gif credits: @tessas-thompson

"thank you" you told him as he emerged from underneath your bump after having slipped your shoes on for you.

Turns out that when you're 7 months and a half pregnant, the most basic tasks like putting on shoes become a two person job.

He only smiled, kissing your belly and then your lips before standing up, offering you a hand to do the same.

"Heels would have looked much better with this dress" you pouted, studying yourself in the mirror, 

You hated ballerinas, but again, you weren't really in the condition to wear anything else.

"You look stunning sugar" he promised, kissing the crown of your head

You couldn't help but snort.

As much as he told you so over and over, together with everyone else in your life... you still struggled to see it, especially now in this uncomfortable dress.

"I look like a stuffed turkey" you sighed "and my boobs are so much bigger than when I first tried this dress, now they look a move away from spilling out"

His eyes twinkled with kindness, with love as he placed his hands on your waist and turned you towards him, away from your reflection.

"You're beautiful sweetheart" he promised, one hand now stroking your cheek as your own hands went to his waist "You're sexy and gorgeous and so fucking hot that if Coco wasn't still here I would demonstrate just how much right here right now" he growled, not giving you time to answer before he kissed you, soft at first, and then once you whimpered, it was like a switch turned and he was fiery and passionate and his left hand trailed to your ass and-

"Pedro!" you scolded him quietly, eyeing Coco on the other side of the room.

"she's seen worse"

She had.

Nonetheless, he took a step back, returning his hand to your waist.

"Thank you" you murmured, looking up into his hazel eyes "and by they way, you look very beautiful too"

You could have sworn you saw red staining his cheeks 

"thank you baby"

You adjusted his shirt, as you got lost in your own mind.

There he was, you beautiful, talented, Emmy, golden globe and SAG award nominated husband, looking every bit as perfect as ever.

And just like that, tears pooled in your eyes

"what's wrong?" he asked, worried

"I just-" you sniffled, trying to fight the tears as your lips trembled "I-I'm so proud of you"

"aw sweetheart" he cooed, half laughing as he wrapped you into his arms.

He'd gotten used to it now, taking care of your over-emotional self was part of his daily routine.

"Y-you just" you cried "you worked so hard a-" another quiet sob "and n- now you're finally getting the recognition you deserve I-"

"I know baby, I know" he cooed, softly kissing the top of your head "thank you" he smiled, his fingers drawing soothing circles on your back "It means a lot to me too,"

"I love you" you murmured, finally raising your head to look at him

"I love you too honey" he kissed you, laughing softly as he pulled back to see tears still running down your cheeks "You're gonna cry the whole night, aren't you?"

"I made the makeup artist use only waterproof products" was your way of saying yes, yes I'm going to, and yes I've already planned ahead

He chuckled, kissing your forehead as his hands trailed to your bump, soft kicks hitting his palms.

"She's excited" he murmured

"She's proud of her daddy too" 

__ __ __

Pedro Pascal.

Pedro Pascal.

Pedro P-

Your husband. they had called your husband.

It was probably comical from the outside, seeing the shock on both your faces as you stared blankly at each other, the way your mouth gaped open, while he slapped a hand onto his, it was like- it was like time had stopped, and the word went completely quiet, until- until-

"oh my god" you breathed, throwing your arms around him and hugging him so tight it probably hurt

He didn't dare speak a word as you leaned away, landing a kiss on his mouth as you gripped his face 

"go" you laughed, grinning like an idiot as tears glimmered into your eyes "go" you urged again, this time, having him comply.

You watched every step, every move, until he was right in front of the microphone, his award in his hands.

"This is umh" he mumbled "This is wrong for a number of reasons-" 

he was in shock, his voice trembling, his eyes watery, but he kept going

"b-but thank you hbo, Bella Ramsey, Craig Mazin, Neil Drukman, Frannie, and -" A shaky sigh fled his mouth, as he chuckled to himself "jeez louise I'm making a fool of myself and my wife is gonna make so much fun of me for it and-"

All the sudden his eyes were on you, 

"my wife" he smiled, his smile brighter than the sun "I wanna thank my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, and perfect wife" he said "I love you y/n, I love you and our daughter more than anything in this world and if I'm here today- If I'm here today is mostly because of you" 

You were shaking from how hard you were crying, from how happy, ecstatic, and euphoric you were for him.

"You've made me the happiest man on this earth, you've made me a dad, you- you're my everything sweetheart" he beamed "so thank you"

He stopped a moment, as if realizing only now this had all really happened

"And now I'm gonna stop talking 'cause I need to get down there to kiss you and try to make you stop crying" he laughed, ending his speech

"thank you, everybody, really, thank you"

__ __ __ 

He did exactly as he said,

he held you tight as he kissed you like the world was gonna end tomorrow, like if he didn't he was gonna die

And when he leaned away- when he leaned away time stopped once again, but as he pressed his forehead to yours, as you lost yourself in each other's eyes, you remembered

"You said it was wrong" you said, both your hands holding his face "but it's not" you shook your head, watching his eyes water "you deserve this baby, you do"

"sweetheart-"

"no" you shut him off, your voice hoarse from the sobs, but it didn't matter, you wanted him to know, you needed him to know "No I need you to understand that you do baby" You smiled "that you worked your ass off and that you deserve every single inch of this award" you took a deep breath, steadying your voice as you looked at him, so many unspoken words traveling between you

"ok?" you asked, finally

"ok" he beamed, kissing you again "God I love you so much"

[selarina]

content warnings: implied blowjob and mentions of pregnancy and children

gojo!actor au and he’s just a bit of a loser.

and i mean that in a literal sense. he’s good enough to be nominated for the emmy’s, the oscars — all these prestigious awards. but he never wins.

each year, he dresses up all posh. puts you in a pretty gown and shows up — just to lose. and it’s an annual routine now, you look forward to it. he’s never taken these awards so seriously anyway. it's all a big joke, and you get free food!

but one year — one year, he wins. it’s shocking — to you, to him, to everyone. cheers and yips are so loud as he stands up. the next day people will publish articles about how this was deserved, how he should’ve been awarded a long time ago.

he walks up there — a soft red hue of a kiss on his cheek as he manages to stare and directly talk to his wife, despite the massive crowd, despite the mic, despite the bedazzlement. his eyes peer into yours as he speaks of gratitude.

and he finishes up with an endless list of thank yous — to directors, coworkers, production team, fans, his mom, his wife, maybe god if he exists? his wife again. his wife.

it’s the after party — you two never go but gojo’s manager warned him and you did your part in urging him, because he did win after all. people would be expecting him. he argues, he speaks of his comfy bed, and you proposition him — you tell him going would mean he gets head in the bathroom and of course, he’s a simple man so he agrees almost immediately.

after you deliver what was promised, under the fancy red glow of the bathroom you’re both in, you rub a hand to wipe your mouth as you stand up, fixing your dress as he fixes his trousers.

he speaks up, his tone rather serious and it scares you just a little. “baby, you promised me," he began. "you said if i won — you’d give me a baby.”

“that was 5 years ago, satoru.” you chuckled, as you fixed his mussed hair.

“and we’re here now — i won. it’s your turn now," his words teasing, but his eyes seeking affirmation in your gaze.

"you want a baby?" you asked as you looked up at his hopeful eyes.

“i want a baby,” he affirms.

“okay,” you smile. your hand trails down to his chest, only to suddenly push him back with force as he flops onto the toilet seat. “let’s give you a baby.”

bonus

"does this mean," he asked, "you'll give me a baby every time I win?"

“let’s start with one, satoru."

“but—“

“one.”

[neil-gaiman]

Hi, Neil! You've mentioned that Brian May was initially reluctant to give you permission to use Queen's music in the miniseries (because of competition with the Bohemian Rhapsody film, I think?) but I don't remember you ever telling us why he finally relented. Unless it involves a secret phrase not unlike why the sheep finally obeyed Babe the pig, how did you get him to change his mind?

He wouldn't let us use Queen when we did the BBC Radio 4 adaptation. He was concerned that people might think that Queen was being made fun of, or that Queen was being seen as something old-fashioned or something. For Good Omens the TV show I wrote him a letter, which said...

Dear Brian

Terry Pratchett and I had a private joke, back in the 80s, that any cassette in your car would eventually turn into Queen's Greatest Hits. We put the joke into our cowritten novel GOOD OMENS, and wove a certain amount of Queen magic through the book. Done because, pretty obviously, we love Queen. The book went on to sell enormous numbers over the years, and whenever two Good Omens fans got together, they would talk about Queen.

I know that when Dirk Maggs approached you when he did the Radio 4 adaptation of GOOD OMENS, you were wary about getting involved, due to concerns about, well cassettes, and the possibility of it positioning Queen in people's minds as something old fashioned or silly.

Which, I thought, when Dirk told me about it, was fair enough.

I've now spent the better part of the last four years writing scripts for, and shooting, a TV adaptation of GOOD OMENS. It stars Michael Sheen, David Tennant, Miranda Richardson, Adria Arjana, Michael McKean, Derek Jacobi, Jon Hamm, Nick Offerman, and lots of other amazing people, and it will be narrated by Frances McDormand. It is directed by Emmy-award-winning Douglas Mackinnon. 

Douglas loves Queen. I love Queen. David Arnold loves Queen.

And the millions upon millions of Good Omens fans around the world love Queen too. So we have put various moments in there just for them (including a brass band playing "Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon"). We want Queen music to comment on the action.

The show will come out from Amazon, and then from the BBC, next year. This year we are in post-production.

We'd love to show you some of what we've got. We'd love to pick your brains and to get your take on what we're doing. To find out if there's a way we can include you, or just brief you on what we've planned so far.

And Brian cheerfully apologised for having said no before, and said yes.

(Queen didn't want us to use the song Bohemian Rhapsody initially, because of concerns about the movie, but after a while they were happy even with that.)

[totaly-obsessed]

Love, Tears, and Laundry

Leah Williamson x reader request

-> Leah comes home to find her oldest daughter upset, leading to heart-to-heart talks and a plan for a weekend getaway.

-> Thank you very much @alotofpockets for giving me the idea and help through the process!

-> Word count: 2.500

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

While the Leah that stood on the pitch was fierce and stoic, a smile often missed on her beautiful face, the Leah you knew at home was quite different. Sure she was still fierce, but in a protective way, but she was much more soft than anything, so soft for her four girls.

At eight years old, Lilly was the oldest, followed by six-year-old twins, Emma and Olivia, and they were the light of the footballer's life, joined by you, her wife of course. Three kids of such different characters definitely filled the house with more life than it had ever seen before.

It had been a long day for your wife, a tough matchday with following meetings going over the game before everyone forgot what happened. Leah had been so excited to go home and see her girls again, but as soon as she opened the front door she knew something was off.

Emmie and Ollie sat in the living room, complete silence filling the house. Not a single little girl stormed towards her.

“Did you two watch the game?”

Silence.

“Oof tough crowd. Where's Mumma?” Tiny hands pointed up the stairs, grave expressions on their little faces. These aren't the happy little girls Leah had expected. Usually, they ran to the door, happy to greet their mother after watching her win on the telly, if they couldn’t be there in person.

The first room Leah checked was Lilly’s, who sat in the tightest corner of her room, one of her favorite books in her hand, granting her mother just a short glance, before she went back to her book, completely ignoring the defender.

This was officially the frostiest atmosphere she had ever come home to.

After going through the entire house she finally found you in the basement, sobbing while doing laundry.

You were sitting on the floor, surrounded by piles of clothes, shoulders shaking with sobs as you clutched a crumpled piece of paper in your hand. Leah's heart sank at the sight of you like this, her own worries about the girls momentarily pushed aside by concern for you.

"Hey, baby," she murmured softly, kneeling down beside you and gently wrapping her arms around your trembling form. "What's wrong?"

You looked up at her with tear-filled eyes, the distress evident in your expression. Without a word, you handed her the paper, and Leah unfolded it, her brows furrowing as she read the contents.

I really hate you right now Mommy.

"Oh, love," Leah whispered, her heart aching for both you and Lilly. She pulled you into a tighter embrace, offering what little comfort she could in that moment. "We'll figure this out together, okay? We're a team.”

Seeing you like this pained the defender - what had happened that you were handed that note?

“What happened, love?”

She had now sat down beside you, pulling you close to her side. A warm hand stroked your back in soothing motions, while the other guided your head into your wife's neck. The smell was familiar and comforting, simultaneously hiding you from the world - even if the world right now was just the laundry room.

“Lilly and I picked the twins up from training, got ice cream, and then went home.” You had to take a second, sobs still wrecking your body, as Leah tried to wipe away a steady stream of tears with small kisses all over your face. “Emmie and Ollie put your game on, just in time for the second half, and then Lils started shouting at them.” 

The blonde defender had trouble understanding you in certain parts, voice still thick with sadness. Lilly shouting at her sisters? A hard picture to imagine.

“A-And then I stepped in, she stomped upstairs and came back with the note, and -” a painful sob wrecked your body “and she yelled ‘I hate you’ in my face Lee.”

This sounded a lot more serious than Leah had expected if she was being honest. “I’m sure she doesn’t hate you, my love. How could she? You’re the best mother there is!”

Your tears subsided, but there were still wet streaks running down your puffy cheeks, breaking Leah’s heart even further. “I’ll talk to her. Wanna get a nice, warm bath?” A quick sigh left her mouth when she saw your shaking head. She should have known. “I can’t Lee. Have to finish this laundry.”

After thankful kisses from you, and helping you up, Leah made her way back up the stairs, passing the living room, where Emma and Olivia were still sitting quietly.

“I’ll go talk to Lills, yeah? Are you two okay here?” Both blondes nodded, not even looking at their mother. “We’re fine Mumma.”

With slow steps she walked up the stairs, playing a full 90 minutes was much harder now than it was when she was younger. She didn't just spend all her energy on a pitch, she had three beautiful daughters to play with and to parent - that takes a lot of energy.

“Lilly?”

She didn’t receive an answer, but quiet sobs led her through the long hallway all the way to the end where the room of her oldest daughter was. The colorful, hand-painted door was slightly ajar, letting the blonde know that it was pitch black inside.

“Darls? Are you in here?” She was no longer in her corner with a book.

The sobs got louder the closer she got to the bed, and after a quick tug at one of the colorful blankets that formed a mountain on her oldest bed gave the location away when she heard a surprised gasp.

The room got quiet, Lilly hoping that her mother would just leave her alone if she acted like she wasn't there. But Leah picked her up from her mattress, still wrapped in multiple soft blankets like she was a toy in a claw machine. 

Her oldest gave a small “Eeek!” of surprise before slumping into her mother's arms. Leah gave her best to make it playful, acting like she couldn’t find Lilly’s face, tickling her feet and talking to her hand before she finally unraveled the blankets. 

You always liked to say that looks wise, your oldest daughter could have been Leah’s twin. The blonde hair, the fair skin, and the twinkling eyes that usually were on her face. She also laughed the same and possessed the same hard-working spirit, determined to be top of the class while trying out as many hobbies as she could.

But right now, there was no smile on her face. Her little face was all red and puffy, tear streaks still on her cheeks, while her eyes were still glassy. And in that moment Leah was glad that you didn’t see the girl in her current state, knowing that it would have broken your heart even further. Right now she looked more like you - matching sad faces.

“I think we need to talk Lills.” With a whine, the eight-year-old tried to bury her face in her mother's shoulder after climbing on her lap, but the defender knew that she needed to have an actual conversation with her daughter. As gently as she could Leah pulled the small blonde from her hiding spot, sitting her down opposite from her on the bed.

“I’m sorry Mumma.” Small hands wiped at never-ending tears until Leah gave her a tissue and the water bottle off of her nightstand.

“What are you sorry for, darling?”

Lilly had gulped down nearly the entirety of the bottle before giving it back to Leah, who just watched in surprise at how thirsty her daughter was. Seems like crying takes a lot of energy out of such a small human.

“I- I was mean to Mama an- and I shouted. Was mean…”

With a soft coo, Leah pulled Lilly in for a hug, small arms squeezing her as hard as they could while soft puffs of air hit her neck.

“Thank you for apologizing Lilly, but I am not the one you should say that to darling.” Her oldest nodded, she knew that, but she also felt bad that Leah now had to calm her down. And she knew that Mama wasn’t doing too good either, she really had been mean. “I know Mumma. I will apologize to Mama, promise.”

“Can you tell me what happened, that you said those words to Mama?”

Leah could feel the deep breath that Lilly dragged in, before she sat up, leaving her mother's warm embrace. She gathered herself before trying to explain what happened.

“Mama and I picked up Emmie and Ollie from training, and I wanted to go to the bakery, but they wanted ice cream. A- and Mama said, that they deserved it for training so hard, b- but -” She took a little break from talking, her voice shaky as she was getting herself worked up again.

Leah handed her the water bottle again, warning her not to gulp it down. “But I wanted a croissant so badly, an’ I’ve been training real hard too.” She really had been training a lot, also following in her Mother’s footsteps but more in the gymnastics department as football wasn’t her thing.

“In the car, the twins were loud, like really loud Mumma. An’ Mama told ‘em to stop, but they didn’t” Sadly that was a regular occurrence that Leah had no clue of, her schedule didn’t allow her to pick them up or drop them off at training, so the energy after training was something new to her.

“At home, I wanted to watch my show - the one with the doggos, but Mama said that we had to watch you on the Telly. An’ I already missed last week and before that.” The defender kept nodding at her daughter, making little hums, to show her that she was still listening without interrupting her story.

“Mama didn’t want to watch my new floor skill that I learned yesterday. Said she was too busy makin’ dinner and laundry at the same time. Then you came home.” Lilly was done with her story, taking deep breaths and another gulp out of her bottle, finishing it off.

“Thank you for telling me, darling. But when did you shout at Mama and give her the note?” Now she knew why her daughter was sad and needed to figure out why her wife was sad. So she had to fish for the little details Lilly let out of her story.

The small blonde tried to avoid her mother's eyes, which looked a lot like her own, just less red and puffy. “When she didn’t wanna watch me.” Slowly Leah could make sense of what had happened.

“So you yelled at her, that you hated her, and gave her the note before you came up here?” Lilly’s head hung deep in shame when she nodded, She really regretted what she had said to her Mama. “Yeah.”

“Do you want to go and say sorry to Mama? Explain how you feel. Then we can talk about how we fix this, but you really hurt Mama.” 

“Yeah.”

Hand in Hand the two blondes trotted down the stairs, where the living room was filled with a little more life than it had been before, but you were still nowhere to be seen. But the twins were quick to tell their big sister that you were in your and Leah’s bedroom.

“Mama?” The room was dark when she pushed the door open, gripping the handle like her life depended on it. When she looked back at Leah she just got a thumbs up with a wonky grin, trying to gesture to her that she should go in.

“Yes, Darling?" She could hear your shaky voice, it was so similar to her younger sisters, that it was almost uncanny. Lilly had also never seen you cry because of sadness before - aside from sad movies, while your wife kept laughing at you.

With slow steps your oldest daughter made her way to the bed, stopping just in front of it as she held her hands out. Tears started to form again in your eyes - Leah does the same thing when you’re sitting on the bed or the couch. She stands in front of you and holds your hands while keeping intense eye contact, letting you know that her entire focus is on you. And now Lilly does the same. She really is an observant little girl.

“I wanted to say sorry Mama.” Her small hands were clammy and warm, showing her nerves as she gave her best to keep her voice steady. “And I would like to explain if you’d listen to me.”

“Of course darling.” You had pulled her up on the bed and instead of just sitting and looking at you, she promptly pushed you into the pillows and cuddled into your side, her eyes still focused on your face.

The 8-year-old poured her heart out to you, just like she had done to your wife, who was now trying to keep the twins busy with little ball games in the living room while you and Lilly talked in the comfort of your bed. 

Leah felt like a creep as she pressed her head to her own bedroom door after giving you 30 minutes together, trying to listen for any sounds that could indicate more tears - but it was silent. With a gentle knock, she opened the door.

Lilly was sprawled out on top of you, eyes still open as she quietly whispered her gymnastic stories to you, while one of your hands brushed through her hair. Leah was honestly surprised that both of you were still awake, this had been a lot.

“Hi, girls!” Her oldest daughter sat up quickly, opening her arms, gesturing for her mother to join you on the bed. “Baby I wanna say something real quick, okay?” Lilly nodded her hair still a mess, no matter how much you bushe’d it with your fingers.

“It was never our intention to ignore you, or your needs and wishes - and Mama and me, we are very sorry.” A smile took place on Lilly’s face, she could see and feel that both you and Leah genuinely meant it. “Thank you for apologizing.” You couldn’t help but laugh at how much she sounded like her mother, with the same tone, eyes, and light smile on her lips.

As gently as you could you caressed her cheek, brushing over it with your thumb as your daughter leaned into your touch. “And we are very proud of you, and we are super glad that you told us - even if the way there was a little complicated.”

All three of you had to giggle but stopped abruptly when something loud crashed downstairs. “What do you think of me calling Grandma and see if she’ll take the little troublemakers for the weekend, and we’ll do something together? Just the 3 of us?”

The smile finally reached Lilly’s eyes again, as her grin mirrored that of the defender. “Yes please, Mumma!”

[laneywrld]

things lost and things found | Lewis Hamilton

part two

word count: 10k

warnings: smut, smut, more smut, fluff.

A man not made for commitment also doesn’t know how to communicate

It's safe to say that since that night in Cannes nearly two months ago, the lines have blurred.

Every night Clem spends with Lewis ends with her falling asleep nestled in his arms.

Some nights, they don't even have sex; he just calls her up to see him. 

Their outings are no longer limited to his bedroom or whatever hotel he's shacked up in. They're often found all over tabloids and fan pages, seen out at clubs or dinners or even on simple excursions such as shopping or taking walks.

Clementine tries her hardest to remember that Lewis was noncommittal. He would never ever even think about dating her or taking her seriously. That realization and his vocally telling her to not make things weird every time he can see that he catches her off guard keeps her on track. 

Clem knew what she signed up for; quite literally, the NDA she signed entailed every component of their relationship.

Besides the weird butterflies she got around Lewis, life was only getting better and better.  

Being around someone who understands her fully and allows her to completely unravel herself to them has really been good for Clem socially and career-wise.

She was less awakward around people, less reserved and she felt like hey, this man has accepted me for my every little flaw, why wouldn't other people. 

She was moving up in the world, and people loved her for who she was, and for the first time ever, she did too.

She's won an emmy for her netflix show, her movie was breaking records, and she was finally stepping out of her box and showcasing other skills she had.

Along with this new burst of confidence came new relationships. 

She's been trying to go out on dates to see if now was finally the time for her to try to settle down and find something serious.

That what she was doing currently, at dinner sitting across from some NBA players as he rambles on and on about different shots he couldve taken during the game, that he most definitely lost.

Clem hums, eyes feigning interest as he describes how he actually wasn't open when he tried to go for a three-pointer. Shocker, he missed.

When he excuses himself to run to the bathroom, she whips out her phone, seeing that Lewis texted her. 

Lewis 🏁

How's your date?

She shakes her head, typing out her response.

dense. how's silverstone? 

Lewis 🏁

Nerve-wracking, my car is still shit.

i'm sorry 😞  

Lewis 🏁

I'm going to need you tonight.

Lewis, i'm on a date.

Clem scoffs, but the smile on her face as she presses send is misleading.

Lewis 🏁

Is he getting lucky tonight?

NO!

Lewis 🏁

So why can't I?

Clem feels the familiar tingle in her core and places her phone face down on the table just as her date takes his seat in front of her again. 

She can't help the incredulous eyebrow raise she gives him as she sees a powdery substance painting his nostril.

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you, love." She smiles politely as she stands and motions for him to wipe his nose. He lifts his camera just as Clem drops enough money to cover her bill and tip the waitress generously. 

She hops into the black SUV, thanking her driver for helping her into the back. She unlocks her phone and sees another message from Lewis.

Lewis 🏁

My jet will be waiting for you.

That is precisely how Clementine ended up in Lewis' hotel room, waiting for him on the bed as he took a quick shower. 

When he emerges from the bathroom she can only offer him an uplifting smile, he looks so tired and so stressed. 

It helps, it always does which is why Lewis wanted her here in the first place. She was like sunrise after the darkest of nights.

"Hi," she coos, opening her arms for the muscly man.

He falls into her arms, his torso bare and his bottom half swaddled in a towel. He lays his head in her lap as she sits against the headboard. He looks up at her face as she stares down at his, and she physically pouts as she brings her fingers up to massage the stress lines from his face.

"That bad?" she whispers as his eyes flutter closed. Lewis sighs, grumbling out a faint "Yeah."

"You don't have to go through it much longer, at least." She tries and she knows it does nothing to take the heavy weight of mercedes off of his shoulders.

"You feel like you're carrying the weight of the world." She hums, her hands traveling down to rub the tension out of his neck. Her fist rubs up and down from the sides of his neck to the crook of his shoulders.

Lewis lets out a relaxed sigh, letting her work on him. 

She doesn't know how long she sits there with him snuggled into her lap as she kneads the tension from his body. 

After a while, she connects to his speaker and plays music. She has Lewis turn over onto his stomach as she slips from underneath him.

She hums as she sits on his bottom and begins massaging his back. "Your back is bruised."

"I was bouncing around like crazy in that fucking car." He curses.

Clementine bends down, pressing kisses around his back on the purple and red marks adorning his skin. 

Lewis closes his eyes, relishing in the comfort she gives him.

Lewis has noticed it, too, the turn their dynamic has taken. He is aware that he has given slight leeway to the emotional part of their relationship. 

He finds himself thinking about Clem plenty throughout the days. Buys things he thinks she'll like. He's grown accustomed to placing delicate pecks on her lips and face randomly throughout their time together; he can't help it.

Something about her has him wanting her all of the time, not even in th physical way. He just wants her to be with him.

"Can you come out to the race tomorrow?" He rasps.

She sits up, her legs still encaging his body. "Hmm, I don't think your publicity team will like that, people are already speculating about us."

"I don't care." Lewis argues, "It's about time you come to a race, wanna see you immediately not wait to get to the hotel and then see you."

His words make her heart thump harsher, and suddenly, all of the warnings from her publicist dissipate.

"Okay." 

Lewis didn't initiate sex between them that night. He simply turns over with her still on top of him and places his hands on her thighs.

"Come here," he whispers, reaching up to tug her head down to his face.

Their lips lock and it's not rushed or leading to anything. It's like how he kissed her in France. It's just sweet?

She can feel his heart against her chest as she is pressed against him, beating rampantly. "Thank you for showing up for me." He mutters against her lips. She grins against him as she remembers the words she scribbled onto the note she'd given him with her gift.

"Always." she breathes, diving back in to kiss him. One hand travels to her waist, and the other has a soft grip on the back of her neck. 

She feels his member poke against her thigh, and she sits up as much as she can with his hand on her neck, ready to free him from the towel, but the hand he had on her waist stops her actions with a grip on her wrist.

"I just want to lay with you tonight, if that's okay?"

Just when she thought she was safe from her tom-foolish thoughts, she felt her suppressed feelings for Lewis take light again. Don't make it weird, she thinks to herself. "Okay." 

Lewis sits up, his hand returning to her hip; she is sat in his lap, legs folded, and his body pushes her slightly back as he tugs on the comforter. He falls back taking her with him and pulls the thick comforter over her body which lays against his chest.

"What's one thing that surprised you about me?"

Clem traces her fingers on his chest in deep thought, "that you don't do relationships."

"Why that?"

"You're a lover boy at heart." Clem chortled, "Literally just a sweetheart. Most men who can't see themselves being with someone don't act as affectionate with women."

Lewis lets out a hmm sound, his hand still gliding up and down her back beneath his t-shirt that she wore.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good, there's nothing wrong with being a sweetheart; bad if someone gets the wrong idea; I have a feeling you're an easy man to fall in love with."

Lewis presses a kiss to her hairline, butterflies doing summersaults in his belly. 

-

They wake up the next morning in the same position, with Clem's face nestled in the crook of his neck. Lewis smiles as he reaches over to turn off his alarm.

"Gotta get up, Clem." He soothes, rubbing up and down her back. 

"Mhmm." She moans in denial, cuddling deeper into him. "No."

"Come on, beautiful."

He sits up, forcing her up with him.

She flutters her eyes open and wraps her arms around his neck. 

He chuckles at her defiance, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and standing. He taps her thigh and she gets the message, wrapping them around his waist.

He walks her into the bathroom and sits her down on the bathroom counter. "Sit here, be careful." He orders, unraveling her from his body. He almost gives up and tucks her back into bed as she whines at him.

He leaves the bathroom and returns with a small bag of hers. She slumps against the mirror as she hears him rustling about. When she hears the faucet turn on and then feels his big hands massage circles into her cheeks, she opens her eyes.

There, she sees Lewis standing there with a cheeky smile, his hands lathered in her face soap as he massages the suds onto her face.

"Going to have to get my girl ready myself, huh?" He questions.

She only smirks at him and closes her eyes, letting him work through her skincare routine step by step, laughing as he inquires about every product.

When he finishes, he washes his own face and then passes her toothbrush to her. He stands between her legs as they both brush their teeth. Both of them stare at each other with googly eyes, laughing as foam bubbles from their mouths. When she leans over to spit into the sink, he follows shortly after and then pours a capful of mouthwash for her and them himself. And again, they stare into each other's eyes, giggly and gleaming, as they swish the liquid between their puffy cheeks.

This is where Clementine struggled with the status of their agreement. These weren't the actions of a man who didn't intend to be in a relationship. But she had heard of Lewis and his many flings and "friends" and she knew that he was a very affectionate person so once again she willed away the thought that there was any chnace of Lewis ever straying away from his bachelor lifestyle. 

She pats his shoulder beckoning him to step away, when he does she hops down and releases the last of the contents from her mouth into the sink and stepping aside so Lewis can do the same. 

"I'm going to grab my clothes." She informs.

As she lays her outfit options across the bed, she hears a vibration beneath her shirt, and she leans over the bed, patting until she finds the culprit. When she feels the device, she pulls it from underneath and sees that it's not her phone but Lewis'.

The screen lights up with notifications. 

One catches her eye from, Natalie.

Lewis did feel comfortable enough to disclose his other flings to her, and she nearly shit herself when he associated them all with cities. She remembers the way he laughed when she asked if she needed to get tested. Then she asked if he had referred to her as Clementine, NYC.

Natalie, Silverstone. She recalls.

It wasn't like she was intentionally snooping, but as the screen lit up in her hand again, she couldn't help but read the message as it appeared.

Still on for tomorrow?

At first, she feels a pang in her chest, but then she remembers her place, and she gently sits his phone on the nightstand, allowing the screen to turn off.

"Hey, you okay?" Lewis questioned, poking his head from the bathroom, realizing that she had stopped responding to him. 

She is stood facing the bed with her hands on her hips, scanning her oufits. "Yeah," she smiles though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. 

He eyes her quizically, but when she chuckles at his facial expression, pulls her outfit from the bed, and saunters into the bathroom with him, he relaxes.

Clem is in her head, and she hopes it's not obvious to Lewis.

But she can't help but wonder why he would fly her out just to make plans to sleep with another woman in the span of two days.

She's hurt, and she's jealous, and she knows she shouldn't be, but a part of her wants to slap the shit out of him. 

Instead, she refrains and plays into whatever sick bullshit he was playing with her heart unintentionally.

-

She arrives to the paddock with Lewis and she tries not to grimace as he tells a journalist that he brings friends with him to races all of the time, as they pass by.

He opens the door to the Mercedes motorhome like the proper gentleman he is and directs her into his room.

"I'm just going to change into my suit, and then we can head to the garage, okay?"

She nods and pulls out her phone. Already, she sees that they are trending. 

Lewis steps out of the room and leaves the door open. A few minutes pass before she hears an audible gasp.

When she looks up, she sees a bright-eyed George Russell.

"Hello, Hi! I'm George, I'm a big fan." He enters the compact room, his hand outstretched before him. She stands from Lewis' bed and accepts his hand.

"Hi, George, I'm Clem."

"I know who you are. What are you doing here?" He wonders.

"I'm a friend of Lewis'. I wanted to see you guys race today."

George stutters out a wow, beginning to ramble on before he is interrupted by a throat clearing at the door. There stands Lewis, with a burning look on his face that makes George immediately drop her hand.

"Lewis." He gasps, "How do you literally know everyone, man?"

She smiles, raising her eyebrows behind Lewis as George rambles about her.

Lewis claps his hands against George's shoulder before speaking, "I love you, kid. But we've got to get going."

And then he reached his arm around George and latched onto Clem and pulled her from behind him.

George stammers out a quick bye, and Clem waves sweetly at him as Lewis pulls her from the motorhome and towards the garage.

"He's so sweet," Clem coos, and Lewis only grunts out a "yeah."

"He looks like a literal prince charming." She extends.

Lewis doesn't want to hear her call his teammate any more kinds of cute, so he opts not to respond.

When they finally reach the garage, he is sitting her down beside Toto, who introduces himself with a warm and welcoming smile.

She accepts his hand, gently shaking it, and in return, Lewis gets whisked away.

She enjoys her time in the garage, whilst Lewis talk to his strategist she is sat beside Toto and a few engineers and she feels like she is on a field trip as they explain the many different parts of their setup. Finally Lewis appears at her side again, beckoning her to follow him. She accepts his hand, lifting from her seat and walking hand in hand with him to his car.

"Wow." she gasps as she studies the racing car.

"You want to get in?" Lewis questions. She turns to him with wide eyes, and Lewis can see the excitement in her dark orbs.

"You don't like people in your car." She reminds, peering back down at it.

"I said I don't let just anyone in my car, are you just anyone?" He is staring at her so intensely it has her body on fire.

She felt shy underneath his gaze as he stepped closer to her.

She stands tall, looking up at him through her lashes. He's nearly bumping chests with her as he looms over her.

"There's an entire team in here, Lewis, and cameras." She whispers only loud enough for the two of them to hear.

He doesn't care. He leans down, his mouth near her ear, "Are you just anyone to me, Clementine?"

She swallows nervously as he takes a step back, "No."

"Then get in the fucking car."

Toto watches on from his seat in amazement as Lewis lifts her frame into the car. He then turns and looks into the camera with his eyebrows raised as to show his impressment. 

He put two and two together that she was a personal guest for Lewis. It was obvious since Mercedes had already planned for Tom Cruise and Damson Idris' arrival for the race today.

Lewis leans into the car as he motions to different parts on the inside of the automobile. 

Clem honestly couldn't give two fucks about the car, but she was relishing in how passionate Lewis looked and sounded as he spoke about every aspect of it. She hadn't moved her eyes from his face not once, and Lewis froze as he turned to face her and saw the wanting look adorning her features.

It has him hard instantly.

"Behave." He warns, turning his head to survey their surroundings.

"You're fine as fuck when you're talking cars."

Lewis chuckles, and a blush comes up to cover his cheeks. He lifts his hand, his knuckles skimming along her jaw.

"I want to kiss you, but people will see."

She drops her face against his hand, puckering her bottom lip out at him.

"Aw, too bad." She whispers seductively, and Lewis whispers out a quiet "fuck." as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. His thumb reaches up and drags it back out.

"Gotta be nice to me right now, Clem. Hmm?" He hums, not bothering to remove his thumb from her lip. He smears his finger across, watching as it pops back into place. 

"Help me out of this car." She smirks, lifting her arms, "Before you do something you'll regret, there are cameras around."

"I don't give a fuck about the cameras." He rasps and breaks out into a grin when she bursts into a fit of laughter. He smacks his teeth, standing up straight, preparing to get her out.

"You like fucking with me." He declares.

Lewis helps her from the car, his hands probably lingering on her lower back for far too long once she's back on the ground.

"Lewis." He hears, and when he turns around, he sees Tom and Damson.

He pulls Clem with him, introducing her to the pair. He instantly regrets it when he sees the way Damson eyes her down like she's a refreshing tall glass of water.

 Tom starts up a conversation with Lew about the business they need to handle for his upcoming movie, but his eyes can't leave Clem's frame, and how Damson brings her hand up to his lips. 

He feels like a suicidal maniac when he watches her laugh and smile at whatever he is saying.

He'd met him before, and trust, whatever he was saying couldn't possibly be that funny.

Lewis wants to rip Toto's head off as he directs the two of them into a set of empty seats. He was less than present during the conversation with Tom, and he hoped he hadn't noticed. His arms are folded over his chest, and his foot is tapping the ground anxiously. He tries not to make it obvious when he directs Tom to his spot and takes his in order to keep an eye on Clem.

When the time for the start of the race gets closer he is thankful to see Tom take his place beside Toto. 

He saunters over to the still chatty pair and stands in front of Clem. He waits for her to notice him, and when she doesn't, he clears his throat rather dramatically. 

She stands when she notices him, shooting Damson an apologetic smile that has him ready to drag her off. Which he does.

He pulls her to a corner of the garage and up the stairs into a random office and locks the door. 

"You okay." Clem questions, stepping towards him and placing her hands on his waist. "Lewis." she tries again when he doesn't answer.

He looks stressed and zoned out.

"I- uh yeah." he coughs and suddenly he feels better having her away from Damson. "i'm fine, pre-race jitters." He lies.

Her hands slide up his chest until they settle on the sides of his head.

She tilts his head so that he's staring into her eyes. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"I'm regretting this." He admits and her eyes squint, "bringing you here, I mean."

That does nothing to alleviate her hurt expression, so he continues, "My car is still shit, I don't want you to watch me lose."

She scoffs, gently slapping her hand against his shoulder before returning it to its place caressing his beard. "Would’ve watched you lose at home too, what's the difference. I'm going to support you all the same."

Lewis leans down and presses a short, soft kiss to her plump lips.

Her eyes flutter closed as he stares down at her, and finally, his hands raised to her hips, pulling her into him. "I don't think that I tell you thank you enough for all of the ways you help me, Clem."

"You don't have to," she whispers, dropping her forehead against his chest. He rests his chin on top of her head, putting his arms over her shoulders as hers wraps around his torso.

Lewis likes this. He thinks he can start every race for the rest of his career like this. When he hears a knock on the door, he groans but shoots Clem a warning look as she chuckles at him.

"Big baby." she teases, moving around him to unlock the door. He maneuvers behind her, reaching to open it, and when he does, he sees Toto there with a knowing smirk.

"Time to race, Lewis."

She allows Lewis to pull her from the office hand in hand, and she knows her publicist is probably in New York and stressed running through cigarettes. She always joked that this Lewis rendezvous would result in her smoking her stress away.

Lewis knows something is wrong with him for sure when he realizes that he doesn't care about the camera or who's watching him show Clem his affection. He knows they're going to be the main topic of every tabloid tomorrow, and he just doesn't care.

She stands in front of him beside his car as the crew bustles around them.

When it's time for Lewis to finish his preparation, he motions his head towards Clem, and suddenly, her hands are stuffed with a balaclava and a pair of gloves. 

She turns to the man who handed them to her and he offers her a small smile. 

She turns to Lewis, and he can tell she's trying to fight off the grin that desperately wants to appear.

She reaches for his right hand, tugging the glove onto his hand gently, she checks each finger and pulls to make sure the fit is snug. She repeats her actions on his left hand and then Lewis firmly places his hands on her waist. He's looking at her with those sparkly eyes and a loving smile.

She turns the balaclava in her hands, trying to figure out which way to pull it over his head. When she sees the opening, she lets out an "Aahh" that has Lewis chuckling at her.

She stands on her tiptoes, freeing his braids from the ponytail and pushing them back. She hums to herself as she pulls the balaclava over his head. 

She settles back on her feet, and she can only see his eyes, but it does something to her. 

She reaches between them pulling the upper half of his suit up his body, giggling when he grunts realizing he's got to let go of her to push his arms through the sleeves.

His hands are back on her in an instant, like by not physically touching her he'd fly away.

Clem reaches between them again; this time, her fingers latch onto the zipper, and she tugs it up from his pelvis all the way up his chest until it's set in place. 

"I don't know, Lew. I think we've at least got a podium." She whispers, accepting the helmet.

She steps back, allowing his hands to fall, and then hands him the helmet.

"I can feel it in my bones." 

"Oh," Lewis laughs, "Can feel it in your bones?" He sticks out his free hand, tickling at her.

Clementine laughs, stepping back and gripping his arm, "Stop!" 

He listens, pulling on his helmet and looking back at his car.

"Well, that's me."

Clem feels like a lovesick puppy as she watches his eyelashes flutter with every blink of his eyes.

"Podium." She reminds him, lifting her pinky.

"Podium." He declares, wrapping his own against hers. He lifts their conjoined hands and places them against his helmet where his mouth would be, and she swoons.

"Get in the car, Hamilton."

She's a giddy mess as she steps away from him and finds herself accepting a seat from one of the crew members.

She sighed while watching the screen as Lewis started in P5. He is quickly into P4. She feels her adrenaline kick in as the crew cheers excitedly watching him overtake into third. When he overtakes two other drives all in the same lap the garage erupts in shouts of excitement, just for that to be taken away just as fast when they see a car barrel through off od the track and into the fence.

Clem gasps, her hand coming up to cup her mouth.

She knew Formula One was a dangerous sport, but watching a wreck like that happen in real-time has her mind reeling on just how much danger Lewis puts himself in.

"Is he okay?" She hears as the crew all talk amongst themselves.

"George is out of the race. The other driver is okay." Toto announces, "We're restarting."

Lewis is back in the garage, and he is irritated.

Clem stays back and out of his way as she watches him angrily rant. "That is not right, Toto." He snaps, "back in fifth?"

She watches as Toto nods at him, and Lewis turns to his assistant, rolling his eyes. He looks so frustrated as he throws his hand out, "fucking fifth."

Clem knew that when she was angry that she didn't like to be bothered, so she stayed in her seat. She feels a body plop down beside her, and she turns to see Damson.

"Intense, yeah?" He questions.

"Most definitely." She sighs, "My adrenaline is off the charts right now."

"First time coming to a race?"

She nods, returning the question, "Nah, this is like the NFL to Brits."

She laughs, "Right."

The two chat whilst the rest of the garage is in shambles, and Lewis watches the two with slits in his eyes. 

He knows he shouldn't be jealous. Clem was nothing to him but a friend who he enjoys fucking. It's what he tells himself as Damson passes his phone to her. She was just his friend. He'd even encouraged her to get out there and find her person.

But that was before he realized how differently she made his heartbeat.

Lewis doesn't bother going over to her before the race restarts, he can feel her lingering eyes as he manuevers around the garage, avoiding her.

Lewis feels a bit enraged. Initially, it was just the FIA and their stupid fucking rules, then it was the car, and now it was Clementine and the stupid British actor drooling over each other in his face.

It was all piling on top of him, and he hadn't felt so unsettled ever before a race. 

He hops back into his car, not sparing Clem a glance, and rolls out into P5.

This time the only thing on his mind is how fucking mad he is. 

That anger got him P3. 

He doesn't know why he doesn't approach Clem as she waits for him patiently in her seat. He goes around and thanks the crew and the engineers and has a brief talk with Toto and Tom. And then he leaves to go to the podium, all without even glancing at her.

Clem, always aware, remains silent and tries to keep the pout from taking place on her face.

She tries not to take Lewis' actions personal, it's obvious he's wound up. She doesn't know if it's something she did or if he's still frustrated by the race restart. Logically it's the second, she's learned that not everyone's behaviors have to do with her. It's taken years of her enternalizing other people's moods to realize that 9/10 people are just feeling things. She hasn't done anything, she's sure of it.

She is directed into the motorhome whilst Lewis handles other business and she sits in his room on his bed waiting patiently.

When Lewis had brought up the idea of bringing her to the race yesterday, he raved on and on about how she'd be able to walk the track, wait with his team whilst he's on the podium (if he got one), and get the classic guest experience. She hadn't gotten that, which was a letdown since she really wanted to experience Lewis' world, but she understood why that wasn't possible today after seeing Lewis' mood.

But still, it would have been nice not to sit in his motorhome and then the garage all day, just to end up back in his motorhome alone for hours. 

When Lewis emerges into the tiny room he is clean and dressed in comfortable clothes. He had been on the phone in the office preparing a few arrangements for the past hour. He sighs as he sees her frame sprawled across the tiny bed. 

There are soft puffs of air escaping her, and her phone is clutched loosely in her hand.

He can tell she fell asleep scrolling through her phone.

He sits on the foot of the bed at her feet and drops his head into his hands.

He doesn't know what he's doing. But he does know he can't keep going on like this. Lewis didn't like relationships, he didn't like being tied down, it wasn't fair of him to only want Clem to himself when she would never get all of him. 

"C'mon Clem, let's get you back."

Like the sleepy girl she is, she whines as Lewis pulls her body from the bed, placing her on her feet. 

"Can you walk?" 

She only nods, reaching over to grab her bag and her phone. She doesn't speak to Lewis quite yet, still unsure of his mood. She lets him direct her from the motorhome, his hand tight in hers as he leads her through the paddock. It is so late at night that there are rarely any people hanging around. When they exit and get to his car, the flashes from the cameras wake her up even more, and she uses the back of her hand to block the lights. 

Lewis walks her to the passenger side, waiting for her to slip in before he closes the door gently and goes around to his seat.

He pulls out cautiously and begins their trek to the hotel.

Clem forces herself to stay awake, knowing that it's only a short drive.

Still, she is waiting for Lewis to speak, but he doesn't. 

"I had fun," she announces.

"I'm glad."

"You got podium." She cheers lowly.

Lewis only offers her a small smile, and uncertainty settles in her gut. Something's not right.

She gives up trying to talk to him after that. 

The car is filled with tension and awkward silence. It's so unlike them.

When they pull into the hotel, Clem doesn't wait for the valet to open her door. She clambers out and thanks god as the night breeze fills her lungs. She's never felt so suffocated around Lewis.

As Lewis exchanges formalities with the man she rushes into the hotel and onto the elevator, when she reaches the room she unlocks it with the secondary key taking a moment to gulp down a glass of water.

Lewis follows in behind her shortly after, paying her no mind as he goes to the bathroom and emerges with his shirt and jewelry off.

"You got an attitude?" Lewis questions, standing in the doorframe.

"No, I don't." 

"I know you, Clementine." Lewis rasps, coming to stand over her as she sits on the bed.

"You're the one with the nasty ass attitude." She huffs, reaching up to nudge him away from her. He doesn't budge.

"Lose the attitude, Clem." He orders, and she rolls her eyes. 

"Or what, Lewis?" She pushes.

Lewis' hand is at her neck in a second. His grip is not tight at all, just holding her in place as he ravishes her mouth. Just as frustrated as he is, she returns the kiss.

"Got something for that attitude," Lewis grunts, pushing her onto her back.

She gasps as he roughly pulls at her pants.

He has them off before she knows it, and his hand lets go of her neck and travels down to pull at her panties. He rips them off of her with a hunger in his eyes like no other. 

"Gotta fuck it out of you, Clem?" He asks. 

He doesn't give her time to answer as he sinks down to his knees at the end of the bed and pulls her down with him. He lifts her legs over him and wraps his arms around her thighs. His hands settle on her thighs, keeping them apart, and he stares up at her one last time before connecting his mouth to her clit.

She jumps, but his hands hold her in place.

He removes his lips from her bundle of nerves, his tongue traveling down to swipe through her crease. She moans lightly as she fists at the sheets. His fingers travel up to replace his mouth, and he digs them deep into her core, his tongue flicking against her clit before he presses it flat and moves up and down.

Clem gasps as he curls his fingers inside her and suckles extra hard on her. Her hand shoots down to push him away, but he catches her wrist in his free hand, holding it against the mattress. 

He stares up at Clem, the whole scene naughty and erotic. He lets her other hand come down to rest in his hair. 

Lewis moans into her, his mouth sending a wave of vibrations through her body. Lewis never took his eyes off of her, watching as she writhed above him. He was showing her no mercy as the gushy sounds filled the room. 

She tasted so good.

Lewis worked his tongue around her clit, teasing her only for a minute before he smushed his mouth over it again and suckled just the right amount, his fingers still thrust in and out of her, driving her absolutely insane. He moans into her pussy and trails his mouth down to swallow where she is oozing. 

Lewis lets her captivating moans egg him on as he devours her like a starved man. He can feel it when she comes when her tight, spongy pussy constricts around his fingers. He happily licks up the juices she releases as she comes undone. 

He pulls his fingers from her core and stands, quickly turning her body over. She lands on her stomach with a slight "oomph" noise and turns to look back at Lewis.

He wastes no time hammering into her from behind. He grabs her arms pulling them behind her back and crossing her wrists; with one hand, he holds them against her back, and with the other, he swats at her ass. Groaning as he watches it ripple.

"Fuck."

Clem can do nothing but pant underneath him and let out pathetic mewls as his hand repeatedly strikes her ass. It hurts so good.

Lewis keeps pounding into her hard, his heart racing as he chases his own orgasm. He sees her phone light up beside him, and a message from Damson appears. 

When he sees this, he speeds up his thrusts, gliding his thick member in and out of her suffocating walls. 

She can only blubber out useless moans as he plummets in and out of her.

He lets go of her wrist, pulling her up onto all fours. 

"You get a thrill out of pissing me off?" He grunts, his hand going up to grip her hair.

"No!" she whines, gripping the covers.

"I think you do." 

His other hand is gripping her waist, pulling her back to him every time she falls forward.

"Nuh-unh." He orders from behind her, letting go of her hair and holding on to her waist tightly with both hands now.

"Don't run from it, baby. You wanted this, huh? This what you want?"

Clem rasps out a choked yes, her head falling at the intense pleasure running through her veins.

Lewis sounds like a beast behind her, all strangled up and growling out praises at her. 

He feels so possessive as his hand lifts and smacks at her ass again. "Fucking, mine." He growls, and Clem falls forward. He doesn't stop as her legs give in, and she drops to the bed again. He climbs behind her, still keeping his pace, and throws his head back as she quivers around him like a candle on fire. 

He can feel the heat building in his core, and it eggs him on as he places his hands on her ass, holding her in place.

Clementine spasms beneath him, never experiencing an orgasm like this before. Her heart feels like it's beating outside of her chest as her ears ring and her eyes roll to the back of her head. She can only curse over and over as she feels Lewis drag out of her and return again with much more force. 

This was the best sex she'd ever gotten in her life.

Her walls clenched around him, her breath hitching as he moved aimlessly in and out of her.

Lewis shuddered at the feeling, sucking in a sharp breath at the sensation. She is face down, panting into the mattress as he pants above her.

She can't count how many times she has come undone underneath him, but as she feels another orgasm approaching, she can't help the way her thighs tremble underneath Lewis. 

Lewis is an incoherent, mumbling and moaning mess above her as he allows himself to succumb to her squeezing cunt, clamping over him. Lewis falls into the abyss, pleasure washing over both of them as he spills into her.

He pulls out with a hiss, shuddering at his sensitivity, and falls over beside Clementine, who rolls onto her back.

"Woah." she pants.

Lewis feels her phone vibrate and he watches as she scambled down the bed to get it, he feels green as he watches her smile at the screen.

Just as she moves to lie beside him again, he speaks up with words that make her feel dismayed.

"I booked you a room."

He turns away from her, staring at the ceiling.

"I- What?" She stutters, turning to face him.  

"It's just a floor below, suite 909."

Clem is distraught, and it shows on her face as she jumps away from the bed as if Lewis has burned her. "Lewis, what-"

Her words are cut off as her phone vibrates in her hand. Lewis chuckles dryly, finally tilting his head to face her. Suddenly Clem feels like a little girl again, wondering why her parents never made an effort in her life, wondering why it was so easy for them to push her aside like they didn't care that she existed.

"What's the matter? Are we okay?" She rambles.

Stop talking, Lewis. He thinks to himself as he watches Clem's eyes flash with wetness. Even sad, she has doe eyes, still shining, but this time, there are tears in her eyes and an intense sadness. 

"Yeah," he should’ve stopped there, but he kept going. "I'll probably see you tomorrow. If not, it'll be the next time I need you." He motions to the bed.

Clem frowns, letting out an exhale as she bends down to tug on her pants. As she maneuvers around the room collecting her suitcase, Lewis calls out to her. "I put the room key beside your toiletry bag."

She slips into the bathroom, picking up her small bag, and sure enough, the keycard is there. She grasps it in her hand and walks out. She wants to scream at him, tell him how big of a dick he's being, but she's not that kind of person.

She is graceful. But it's taking everything in her to channel the lessons her grandpa has taught her when she is this mad, this hurt. 

Clem avoids looking at Lewis as she latches onto her suitcase. 

 "Maybe you should start considering finding someone who's serious, Clementine."

Is this what this is about? She knew the blurred lines would come back to bite her in the ass eventually.

She freezes, her back turned to him as her hand pauses on the door handle. And her body shakes slightly as a her frown deepens, she feels a stream of tears flow down her cheeks.

And just when Lewis thinks that Clem is going to turn around and argue with him, probably throw something at him and shout at him, she doesn't.

She lifts one hand, swiping at her face, and then softly opens the door and leaves without so much as looking back at him. The door clicks shut behind her, and she walks on down the hallway towards the elevator. 

The words don't react, echoing over and over in her head, but as she hears the wheel rolling on her suitcase, she can't help but feel the trembling in her body. She presses her lips together, stepping onto the elevator, and as the doors close, she lets out a gutwrenching sob. 

She sniffles as she steps into the suite. Rushing to the bathroom to shed her clothes, she showers wiping all traces of Lewis Hamilton from her body the way she wishes she can erase him from her mind. She scrubs harshly, eyes still full with tears, between the scorchingly hot water, steam and the tears she can barely see anything as she scrubs severely.

For the first time since agreeing to this arrangement, she feels used by Lewis. She's never felt so dirty in her life. As she sank down to her knees, feeling the wails rip through her body with force, she realized why exactly his words and actions hurt her so much. 

It didn't matter how much she showed up for him or how much she allows herself to be his shrink and him hers, it'd always be a bad religion, loving someone who'd never love you back.

Lewis is in the same position he has been in since she left, flat on his back with his hands covering his face. His body is quivering as sobs rack through his body.

It was a tough decision, but it was one that had to be made. He could never give Clem what she deserved; he wasn't a committed person. Seven years on and off with the same person is proof of that. He could never be okay with putting her through that.

-

Lewis wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache and lingering loneliness. 

He always felt like this when he woke up without Clem in his arms. As he sits up and swipes his hands over his face, his heart aches when he notices her ripped panties thrown on the floor.

He regrets his actions. 

He wishes he would've sat her down nicely and explained how things were getting too deep for him. It's Clem, she would've understood. 

He realizes just how bad he fucked up when her giddiness to lay beside him last night flickers through his mind like a clip from a movie.

"What if we lay in bed after every meetup and we just talk?"

He feels like he's been shot when her hurt face replays over and over. He treated her like shit last night, all because he was scared of what she made him feel. 

He was a mess during yesterday's race; all he could think about down every straight and around every curve was how much he liked Clem, how good she made him feel, and bad she could make him feel just as easily.

He realized that the woman had too much control over his heart yesterday, and he couldn't take that. This was supposed to be fun, casual fun. He never inteded to catch feeling for Clementine Russell, but she was the kind of girl who made you drop to her feet.

He never stood a chance against her charm.

He scrambled from the king-sized bed, rushing to his phone.

-

When he hears a knock on his door, he opens it in a rush; he sees the butler there and offers him a finger to signal to hold on. He rushes to his table, picking up the bouquet of flowers, an array of red, yellow, and orange orchids, dahlias, and marigolds. 

"Can you take these down to suite 909?" Lewis pants pushing the boquet towards the man, there is a note nestled between the pedals.

The man tilts his head, pushing the flowers back towards Lewis.

"I am sorry, Sir Hamilton, Ms Russell has checked out already in the early hours of Midnight."

Lewis feels his heart crumble as he steps away from the man, the giant bouquet firm in his hold.

Lewis says nothing as he closes the door and walks away. 

-

Clem had left that night, not long after leaving Lewis' room. After her shower, she was on the first flight home, and she hadn't spoken to Lewis since. 

Lewis misses Clementine. It's a realization that he came to rather quickly but refused to admit.

Lewis pulls himself out of the leggy woman he picked up at the end of his race. She drops down beside him in heavy pants. 

"That was fun." She exhales.

He doesn't know why when he turns his head, he expects to see Clem staring back at him with her dark eyes and cute smile. 

This woman is no Clementine, and that's for sure. 

He doesn't know why he tries it, but he does. "You can go anywhere in the world under one condition. You'd have to stay there forever; everything is unchanged, and nothing new will ever come. Where do you choose?"

He watches as her eyes scrunch momentarily in confusion.

"I don't know. It's probably Paris. I'm obsessed with their lifestyle, honestly."

Lewis turns his head back to the ceiling.

He wants her to leave. And he wants Clementine to be in her place.

It's quiet and awkward, and she doesn't even try to ask him. 

He already knows his answer. He'd be with Clem in his bed, hands connected as they lie naked underneath his covers, heads turned to each other as they talk. He'd watch on as the moonlight supersedes the darkness and the moonbeams are replaced with sun rays. And he'd listen to her feel things like she made him. And he'd be happy and content with spending eternity like that.

Everything unchanged, nothing new.

Lewis begins to think that maybe casual sex isn't for him anymore. Perhaps he's taking Clem's absence extra hard because he yearned for the other form of intimacy, the emotional aspect of being with a woman.

So he tries dating. 

And he comes to the same conclusion, date after date.

Their eyes don't gleam like hers.

They don't understand his humor.

They don't care about why losing his favorite toy as a kid was an integral part of the man he became.

They can't carry on discussions like Clem or even talk like Clem.

They don't have her precious smile and her deep dimples. They're not gracious and benevolent.

They aren't Clem, no one ever will be.

Lewis craves Clem; he misses her with every fiber of his being.

And he regrets letting her up from his bed. He regrets telling her to pursue another man. 

When Lewis returns to New York, his thumb lingers over the send button.

clemmy 🪂

I need to see you, where are you?

He doesn't send the message; he drops his phone with a sigh, knuckling at his eyes. Why was it so fucking hard? He'd never felt this troubled in his life, especially over a woman he'd never even dated.

He sighs in distress, picks up his phone, stares at the message begging to be sent, and clicks off of the app. Instead, he opens his Instagram. As he goes to search for Clem's name, he sees that she is still his top search, and he feels like a loser as he enters her profile.

He'd take any sight of her he could get.

-

Clementine wouldn't say she was necessarily religious. Her grandpa would probably drop dead of a heart attack if he heard that. But it was the truth. She thought it was fairytale-like sometimes. Yes, she had faith, but she wasn't as devout as many people. 

If she was being honest, she thought religion began as something beautiful, putting your complete trust and faith into another person, with the idea that they were quite literally the holy grail. Over time, it's been skewed and manipulated, some for great purposes and others for very wrong reasons. 

She thought most religious people were hypocrites. Lewis was a hypocrite for sure, giving her an inch and then taking a mile. Now that she has had time to ponder over it, Lewis Hamilton is actually a sick man. Pouring affection into her and poisoning her heart. 

How did he expect her not to fall for him when he treated her the way he did? She feels like a fool herself, too, thinking back to the conversation she had with him the night before it all went to shit. 

"You're a lover boy at heart." Clem chortled, "Literally just a sweetheart. Most men who can't see themselves being with someone don't act as affectionate with women."

Lewis lets out a hmm sound, his hand still gliding up and down her back beneath his t-shirt that she wore.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good, there's nothing wrong with being a sweetheart; bad if someone gets the wrong idea; I have a feeling you're an easy man to fall in love with."

Lewis was a hypocrite, and she was too. 

But the truth is religion gave people purpose. She'd never felt it firmly in a spiritual sense, but she had experienced that strong urge to follow someone's every command. She's believed every word that tumbles from his mouth. Given the opportunity, she would surely drop to her knees at his feet. She's only ever felt the need to praise and put her limited faith and her secured trust into one person. Sure, she had faith, just in a bad religion. She admired one man, Lewis Hamilton, but there was one problem, she could never make him love her the way she loved him.

Clem took his advice. She branched off, presented herself in new ways, made new friends, developed herself, and found someone who would take her seriously, though that didn't last long at all. 

clementine

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clementine so, they've helped me make an album? Clementine, NYC out now on all streaming platforms !! 

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feliciathegoat Cool kids doing cool shit 🏌🏿

clementine the coolest 😎

lilyachty ALBUM OF THE FUCKING YEAR

clementine 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️

user no bc who did my girl like that

clementine no really, it's okay though builds character 😃

user builds character my ass, go beat his ass

user A MOVIE AND MUSIC IN THE SAME YEAR ASVJHKHK WHEN DO WE GET SEASON 2???

clementine yk im filming girl 🙄

clementine

liked by danielricciardo, justinbieber, and 10,898,465 others

clementine two post in one day bc why not, what's everyone's favorite song from Clementine, NYC?!?

danielricciardo In your hands slaps

clementine you sir, have great taste 😘

user daniel what are you doing here 😭

user No really, weird ass crossover episode

user the blue hair to match the album cover the movie * chefs kiss*, your creativity is unmatched queen

clementine you noticing the small details >>>

justinbieber posting us arguing over the order is killing me

clementine no bc we both look so over it 😂

user I love her and Tyler's friendship sm

feliciathegoat i love my bestie

clementine and I love u T 🥹

-

Lewis instantly throws in his airpods and starts the album, one by one he listens to each song. Sure enough every song has small anecdotes about their time together that only he'd know.

He was aware that he was blurring the lines between just benefits and true feelings, but he didn't know that he wasn't the only one feeling strongly about it. He never took her feelings into account.

Just when he thought he couldn't feel any worse about the situation, that realization dawned on him. Clementine Russell loved him and he threw her to the curb like a bag of trash. 

He's throwing on whatever clothes he sees first as he rushes from his door. 

He doesn't bother calling his driver as he treks block after block; he has one destination in mind, Clem's townhome. 

He's there before he knows it, his fist urgently banging against her door. 

He sees a light flicker on through the window, and then her door swings open.

She's in her nightshirt with her hair wrapped in a scarf, and her eyes are puffy from sleep. When she sees Lewis, she begins to swing the door back closed, but his hand pushes against it.

"No, Lewis." She snarls, swinging the door open again. She is looking at him like he's the devil himself. "I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you, I don't even want to think of you."

"Clem, please." He begs, "Please, I can't take it."

She pauses at the door, taking her time to study the man in front of her. He looks bad, simply put.

His eyes are bloodshot and droopy with bags, his braids are disheveled and clearly in need of a touch-up, and he just looks all around miserable.

She almost gives in until she thinks back to the last eight months where she had been miserable herself. She smacks her teeth swinging the door closed until she hears Lewis shout out three words that take her back to when the roads got foggy, Cannes. When she realized the difference in how she actually felt for Lewis.

"I love you."

She peels the door back open and stares at him intensely. "What did you say?"

He looks like he's watched his whole world get taken away from him as he repeats himself, "I love you. Don't shut the door, please."

"It's not fair, Lewis." She fumes.

"I know." He whispers, and his voice cracks.

"You don't get to do this to me." Clem snapped. "You can't just make me feel things for you and then push me away. You can't make me love you and then hurt me and tell me you love me when it's too late."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry, isn't enough." She hissed angrily, approaching him and poking his chest. 

He reaches up and grabs her hand, holding it close to his chest. She feels him shudder underneath her touch, and his body begins to shake.

"Clem, I'm sorry." his voice is hoarse and thick as he peers down at her, and she cracks when she feels a teardrop against their connected hands. "I'm sorry."

Her forehead drops against his chest, and he wraps his arms around her. "You didn't deserve that; I should have just told you; I was scared; you broke all of my walls, Clem; I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt you in the end."

"But you did, " she cries.

"I know, I did; I was scared of commitment, was scared I would ruin us further down the line." He presses a kiss to the top of her head, "I'm not scared of commitment, Clem, not anymore. I just don't want to be committed if it's not to you."

"You don't mean that." Clem breathes. 

"I promise I do, Clem."

She steps back from him, letting his arms fall to his side. "You made me feel dirty."

He opens his mouth, and she puts up her hand, "Let me talk. I let you disrespect me, Lewis. I should be done with you. I should be over you. I don't care how much I feel for you; if you ever, and I mean ever, speak to me that way or treat me like I'm nothing ever again, all gracefulness is out of the fucking window."

"I understand." He breathes, "I will never, Clem, and I mean never treat you like that again."

It's ironic, the two of them standing infront of each other as the sky illuminates in yellow and orange hues. 

"It's six in the morning." Clem sighs.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"I wasn't supposed to be here today; you almost missed me," Clem informs.

"I would've found you. Lost you once already. I didn't know how much I cherished what we had until I no longer had it. Until I lost it. I don't want to lose you forever, too."

"It's almost spring," Clem announces. 

"Gonna take you to that mountain, Clem." He promises, pulling her into his arms again.

"I've missed you so much. There were so many things I wanted to talk to you about. I missed talking to you." She admits and Lewis holds her tighter.

"I missed listening to you. Swear I did." 

"Are we still friends?"

"No, we're more than that. We should’ve never been friends. Always meant to be more." 

"I wrote an album about you." She sighs.

She feels Lewis hum against her. "It's beautiful."

"I talked so much shit about you, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for feeling Clem, I was a shit person to you." 

"My hair is blue." She announces, and he chuckles; there she was, his Clem talking his head off.

"Starting over, right?"

"Yeah, starting over."

Although they weren't laying in bed on their backs hands connected and staring through the ceiling like it was their sky. Things felt familiar to the two as the sun rose and light beamed around them.

Lewis was her sunset, the beauty that comes after a hard and blaring day. To him, she was the sunrise. After the darkness, it will always be light again. She was his light source, and he knew that now. He could never lose something that's always shining. 

"Thank you for showing up for me."

Not proofread

the album:

bad religion - frank ocean

in your hands - halle

i think- tyler, the creator

saturn- sza

broken is the man- jorja smith

everything is gonna be alright- infinity song

everything- kehlani

mine- beyonce ft drake

poison- beyonce

are we still friends- tyler, the creator

eternal sunshine- jhene aiko

<3

[dumbseee]

starstruck.

F1 au/fic: in which, daniel attends the met gala and meet his ultimate crush, y/n l/n.

daniel ricciardo x actress!reader.

fc: jasmine tookes.

note: the timing is terrible

when you finally finished your interview with emma chamberlin, you saw in the corner of your eye a man looking at you, smiling from ear to ear. you didn’t recognise him but by his looks you knew he was someone important. you walked up to him and smiled back, his cheeks were red and he struggled to hold your gaze now that you were in front of him.

"hi! first time here?" you asked, waving at him, "i’m y/n l/n." he smiled again and scratched his neck. "is it that obvious? and i know, i’m kinda your biggest fan, daniel ricciardo it’s nice meeting you." he shook the hand you were giving him and gave it a gentle squeeze, you didn’t fail to notice how big his hand was and how it engulfed yours. you laughed and put your hand against your heart. "oh really? what is your favorite work of mine?" you asked him, genuinely curious. you didn’t know why but you were drawn to his energy. he looked up and thought for a second before answering. "there is too many, but i really liked you in the marauders, couldn’t think of a better actress to play dorcas." you laughed and thanked him. "to be honest, it’s not my best work." he looked at you like you just said the most out of pocket thing in the world. "excuse you? you were amazing! you perfectly portrayed dorcas and the way you showcase emotions just with your eyes is just incredible! seriously you’re one of the best actresses out there and i-…" his eyes were full of sparkles, like a kid talking about his favorite football team, he stopped himself when he saw you look at him with a huge smile. his cheeks were even redder and he couldn’t look at you anymore. "i talk to much, right? i’m so sorry, i do that a lot." you brushed him off and patted his shoulder. "daniel, you’re adorable." he smiled fondly but before he could speak again, your agent came to you. "we have to go y/n, donatella is waiting for you." you nodded and waved at daniel. "it was great meeting you daniel, i hope to see you again soon!" he watched you leave and couldn’t wipe off the smile on his face, he knew how good looking you were but seeing you and talking to you in real life was different. from that small interaction only, daniel knew how much he was infatuated with you.

liked by danielricciardo, daniel.jpg, blakelively and 5 681 972 others.

y/n: you guys know how much i love going to the met gala, but this year was even better. thank to anna for inviting me again this year, and i hope to see you again next year! huge thanks to donatella for customising this dress for me, you’re a legend.

_

donatella_versace: donatella VERSACE 💜

zendaya: i’m on the floooor girl

fan1: not daniel liking with all his accounts

fan2: the queen of the met

fan3: the dress looked so good!

fan4: y/n never misses

fan5: who’s daniel?

fan6: @.fan5 y/n’s future husband

liked by danielricciardo.

fan7: WTF DID DANIEL JUST LIKED THIS COMMZNT???2€:8:9

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liked by danielricciardo, daniel.jpg, selenagomez and 3 792 000 others.

y/n: we worked so hard on this one so i’m glad it’s finally out! the batman is out in all theatres so grab your pop corn and go watch it!

_

selenagomez: such an icon

fan1: y/n as catwoman is something i HAVE to witness with my own two eyes

fan2: y/n and robert pattinson flirting in imax is going to be the death of me

fan3: i hope daniel can fight because y/n and robert’s chemistry is insane

fan4: @.fan3 leave daniel out of this they’re not even friends

fan5: @.fan4 yes they’re not friends, they’re soulmates.

fan6: i understand daniel’s obsession tbh look at HER

fan7: y/n better get her emmy after that movie

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liked by danielricciardo, dualipa, taylorswift and 4 782 929 others.

y/n: appreciation post for my number one fan, danny ric. i suck at love confessions so just listen to daylight by my good sis taylor swift <3 (idk why he loves taking pictures of me but he’s ALWAYS pointing that camera at my face)

_

danielricciardo: that’s because you’re my favorite view, my love.

liked by y/n.

fan1: AWWWWWWW

fan2: daniel really went from watching her from afar bc he was too shy to talk to her to him being her bf

fan3: my favorite couple

fan4: don’t EVER breakup

taylorswift: you guys are so cute 💜

fan5: daniel is the perfect man for y/n tbh

view all 68 99 comments.

[anadiasmount]

tainted memories - jude bellingham.

wow wow okay hi!! sorry for the break i took. i began uni again after my holiday so i haven’t been as active on here. but i received this request for jude, and decided to try it out. please leave some feedback as us writers appreciate it a lot 🤍🧟‍♀️

summary: breaking up wasn’t apart of the plan. so was also inviting him to your friends party, but now that he’s back after seven months, a little rekindle never hurts anyone, right?

angst? smut and fluff. minors dni! 🔞

wc: 3.6k

“need any help?” you turned slowly to be faced with those soft brown eyes. his plump lips drew in as he peeked his head through the door. you shook your head and got back to washing the dishes. “you going to continue ignoring me?” he said causing you to begin breathing quicker than before, after feeling his presence come behind you. 

you were in charge of one of your girlfriends all -white all-white-themed surprise party, in honor of her birthday. this meant you’d see jude after breaking up over 7 months ago, since your friends were friends with his. while seeing familiar faces made you happy, you couldn't help but feel sad all over again. jude and you ended on good terms, so he thought, after he stressed he wanted to focus on his last months at dortmund and start with his new team in madrid. 

you didn’t want to split, rather try and make your relationship work and get through the obstacles you were bound to face together. you physically and mentally weren't prepared to let him go, he was your person, the person who never failed to make you feel like the luckiest girl. you were his, but instead, you let him go, and respected what he asked.

you began a new cycle all over again, from having that hard shell that protected you to being his girlfriend, then back to being that old person you were building your walls up again. people came and went in your life, its what you were used to, and you thought with jude it was different… he made you feel different, in many positive aspects, always supportive, loving, caring, and soft with you. 

maybe you pushed him away? maybe you gave him a reason to leave? maybe you weren’t enough for him? 

jude being jude still tried to keep contact, he would text, sometimes call, but you knew deep inside you wouldnt be able to move on if he was still present. it hurt because he wasn’t yours anymore, you still loved him, after months being apart, he still brought that spark inside you to burst. it was his effect burned inside you. 

the familiar perfume and scent blinded your senses, when you felt two arms trap you from behind, two hands on the edge of the counter. “you haven’t said a single word to me y/n…” you shuddered as he whispered in your ear, his nose tracing your jaw down to the nape of your neck. “say something, please…” the pleading in his voice broke your heart. you dried your hands and turned around. 

his face centimeters apart from yours, where you could see his brows fluttering in and eyes darker than usual. “excuse me,” you tried to move out of the way but he refused, “no. did i say or do something? you don’t answer my calls? my messages? tell me why.” you opened your mouth to speak but instead you shook your head again, attempting to move out the way, you still had the responsibility of the party, that was your priority right now. 

“y/n-”

“no. you don’t get to do that. you said you wanted your space, and i’m respecting that. i don’t have to give you reasons as to why i’m not speaking with you, jude. what we had was said and done, you wanted to focus on yourself and that's great- “

“y/n? are you done with the dishes were waiting on you to surprise emmy,” one of your friends said, becoming slightly awkward at the room with your ex. she sensed the high tension so she quickly went back outside. jude’s hand wrapped around your wrist, your attention back on him, “we're talking later. we ended on good terms and i plan for them to remain that way,” jude insisted, to which you only nodded your head. 

he was confused. for once in his life he was confused that you were such a stranger around him. the girl that stayed up with him while he reminisced and spoke of his early days at birmingham, the one and only girl his mum loved and adored, his girl who made his favorite dish after a bad game, the girl who smiled only around him, the only girl who never failed to bring and feel butterflies in him, the one girl who defended him always, and that girl who made him into a bigger and better person. that girl, his girl, wasn’t there anymore. 

maybe he lost you for good? maybe you didn’t love him anymore? maybe you were seeing someone? no, you were his, only his. 

the night was successful, the surprise went to plan, and everyone was having a good time. although you were still stuck from earlier, trying to do anything to distract your thoughts from him, whether it was picking up cups, heating up food, talking with your girls especially, and drink the special cocktail you loved dearly. your eyes trailed over to him again, where you locked eye contact for the hundredth time that night. he looked good, way too good, twenty was treating him right. 

“you and jude keep ogling? something going on?” you friend asked, catching onto the lingering glances. she took a sip of her red cup, “nothing really. he wants to talk but i don't know if i’m ready for that. i knew he would be coming, but i wasn’t prepared to see him like that. what if he tells me he found someone else? or that-” you panic rubbing your forehead with your palm. 

“first breathe, i’m here with you. as much as it may hurt or feel slightly uncomfortable, it's the closure you may need to move on. but what if he wants to talk with you to rekindle again? do you think you would be open to that? and if he says he’s someone else, show him what he will miss on. you're beautiful y/n, and he was lucky to have you once in his life, just don’t let him bring you down again…” 

she was right. if he did move on, that wasn’t your place to meddle, you’d have to let him go and be happy for him. but if he did want to consider getting back together, why now? why now when he’s living his best life in madrid? why now after saying he wanted to focus on himself? why now when you’re trying to avoid those soft brown eyes who once brought happiness to you, still do…

“just think about it yeah? right now lets dance, distract yourself from him and the world,” she yelled as soon as krazy by pitbul begin to play. you laughed and danced with your girls, letting loose and for once not caring for what anyone said or did. you threw back two shots, knowing they weren’t going to do anything as you weren't a lightweight. 

as the night came to an end, mostly everyone had left, besides him. you said your goodbyes to your friends, offering them leftovers of food and cake, making sure to wish them a be careful, and promising to hang out soon. you sighed tiredly closing the front door, looking over at the big couch that drew you in to sit down on. jude appears, but all you do is stare at your hands, tracing the small tattoos you have to get rid of the anxiety beginning to build up.

“i want to apologize, you were right. i did say i wanted to focus on myself but i was stupid thinking it would’ve still meant us talking like we always did. part of me never wanted to let go of you, and still doesn’t. i thought that i was doing the right thing but in the end i learned the hard way that not only was i hurting myself but you along…” jude says, watching as your head slowly lifts up, your cheeks burning red.

“while it was hard on me, my mind always traced back to you. how your eyes filled with confusion and tears when i broke up with you. i get why you didn’t want anything to do with me, but believe me it was harder to not hear or see you on the daily. please don’t blame yourself for one bit, or think you aren’t enough because you’re more than perfect than what i could’ve asked for…”

“i needed to get away from you, but it's hard doing that when your ex-boyfriend is the talk of the town,” you joke hearing him let out a small chuckle. “i wanted to so badly respond to hear your voice, how you were doing, talk about our silly work problems but i knew if that i continued to hold onto the hope one day you’d come back, it would hurt more than loving you every day,” you said.

“i was confused yeah, but i needed to think on the brighter side that you were doing this for yourself and not for any other reason. I just wanted the best for you and i thought that distancing myself was the best idea… i still love you so much jude, and this, us, hurts. i’m not yours, and i can’t call you mine anymore, i can’t hold or kiss you, love you like i did…” you continued. 

“when i heard you weren’t doing okay after three months i almost caved in, but i thought you would’ve hated me or worse just not care. and to not have you like i once did was taking a toll on me. my mom was concerned as to why we broke up, but i couldn’t tell her the truth. i hurt you and im so sorry baby…” jude cried out, grabbing your hands and kissing over your knuckles. 

“I want and need you back… i still love you more than ever, and if you let me i can prove to you im now a better and mature man…” he pauses and breathes in, “leaving you was the scariest thing i’ve encountered, not having you by my side taught me i can't live or sleep without you there…”

“and if you say all of this to just leave me again? or you regret your decision to get back with me?” you can’t help but ask, letting a few tears out. what if it got too much for him? you wouldn’t be able to live with another heartache caused by him again. you need to hear him say he’s in it for the long run, not one where he can just up and go whenever he pleases. 

“i can assure you right here, right now, that you’re it for me. you’re my future wife, the mother to my kids, the only person i want to grow old with. the only girl who’ll support me at the end of the day no matter what. the only woman who i will forever love and cherish…” you giggle and choke on a sob, feeling jude’s thumb wipe away the tears. 

“don’t leave me… that all i ask. but i need you too jude. all i ask is for you to communicate with me, for us to give each other the assurance we need to move forward, that at the end of the day you’re the only one i come back to, to watch spy kids over and over again,” you say making him chuckle, watching as he let out some tears. You wiped them away, brushing your thumb over his soft cheek, his eyes closing at the feeling. “So were really doing this?” you ask. “yes we are really doing this…” jude says leaning and scooting closer to you. 

you leaned in, his eyes slowly fluttering closed, was this real? the touch of his lips connecting with yours confirmed it. the way his larger hand cupped your cheek and pulled closer, completely taking your breath away. you whimpered softly as his tongue entered your mouth, him groaning at the smallest sound you made. you brought your hands and cupped his upper shoulders before bringing your smaller palm on his cheek. 

jude pulled you onto his lap where you felt the big prominent bulge, leaning forward and grabbing your torso to hold you in place. his lips quickly connected back with yours, tilting his head to the side a bit as he pulled you closer, chest to chest. “jude…” you let out quietly, the tension all becoming too much, too hot… 

“yes? fuck- d-do you wanna stop?” he whispered faintly on your lips, to which you shook your head no. you leaned back slightly, your hands going back to unzip the white dress you were wearing, jude’s eyes roaming from your swollen lips down to your chest where your white lace bra covered what he wanted to see. “are you sure? i don’t want you to regret this y/n…” 

“i’m more than sure that i want this… i need you, jude. just like you just said…” he groaned and pulled you back towards him, where he kissed your lips like a hungry starved man. peppering kisses from your jaw, down to your neck, and that exact spot he manages to find that makes you go crazy. he bites down gently then sucks the skin where he marked you, kissing softly over it. “i need you too. need you so bad my cock’s aching to feel you again…”

he lays you down onto the plushy soft couch, grabbing a pillow and laying underneath your head. jude quickly removes the dress but leaves you with your white undergarments, his hands dragging your sides, observing your body like it would be his last time seeing it. you begin to cover yourself but he stops you, grabbing your hands with one of his and trapping them above you head. 

he kisses you softly on your lips, then your forehead in reassurance, “don’t cover up baby. you’re so beautiful and all mine, yeah?” you nodded leaning up to kiss him again. he lets go of your hands, watching as you sit up again, overlooking at your fingers fidgeting with the button on his top. he lets you do it, your warm palms connecting with now his bare chest, running your thumb over his nipple, looking up shyly to see jude bitting his bottom lip.

as you lay back down, you watch as he removes his pants, his erected cock lined against his black calvins. “staring at me now?” jude teased, his hands resting on your knees as he pulled them apart to settle between them. “can’t help it, jude. you’re so handsome,” you complimented watching as he smirked. “and i’m all yours, right? say it y/n…”

“all mine.”

“good. because all that nonsense from before isn’t true. you’ve always been mine… only mine.” jude removed your bra, kissing from your collarbone down through your sternum, to finally sucking the hard erected nipple into his mouth. a soft moan left your lips, arching your back just a bit, while your hands gently grabbed his head. you didn’t expect your night to end like this, but you weren’t complaining since jude knew what exactly to do. he knew what brought you to the point where you saw only stars. 

your eyes connected, watching as he flatly laid his warm tongue on the bud before sucking it again, twisting the tip of his tongue before doing the same to the other nipple. you felt as his lips traced all over your abdomen and hipbone, feeling as he removed the only thing that was left covering you. “can i taste you? make you cum all over my tongue again?” you moaned at his words, telling him to go on. 

one hand kept your inner thigh open, as the other one rested over his shoulder. he kissed along the inner flesh before kissing and sucking your clit into his mouth. he groaned, watching as your eyes rolled back. his tongue moved up and down various on the small bead before going left to right, kitty licking all the way down to your coated entrance. “oh fuck!” you yelled out, as he brought two fingers and began to flick them in and out, hitting that certain spot that brought you closer and closer than ever. 

he tilted his head to the side, his curls ticking your inner thigh as he began to flick over your clit once again. Jude’s fingers now flicking inside you, “i can’t, i’m close jude…” you said bringing your hands to play with your tits. “yeah? then cum for me y/n. cum all over my tongue like i asked,” to which you yelped and moaned as you felt on cloud nine again, closing your eyes and letting the feeling of euphoria linger all over you body. 

he overstimulated you just for a bit, then kissed all the way back up again to your lips, where gripped your hips, grinding into you to relieve himself. “you feel that? that’s how you make me feel baby…” he whispers feeling as your hand slides down his abs, to the waistband of his underwear. the kiss is heated, tongues fighting for dominance, jude pulling away sometimes to groan or moan against your neck, as you gave him the sloppiest handjob. 

feeling as he twitches on your palm as you guide your hand up and down, tugging and wrapping your grip tightly before soothing over it. “i need to cum… but not like this. can i fuck you now?” he admits, looking over and making sure there are no signs of you being unsure or regret. “please jude, i want to feel you a-ag-again…” you shuddered as you felt his hot tip being dragged up and down your slit. 

one hand helped him stay up, while the other one guided his cock inside you, the familiar stretch of your walls as he easily slides into you. the two of you moan in delight, stunned at the pleasure as jude begins to roll his hips, going deeper and deeper. arching your back as he pulled out his cock and then quickly rolled back in. “jude..” you moan like a devotion, squeezing him tight, hearing him let out a grunt before feeling him thrust back into you. 

you cry out as you feel his big length find a nice wave of ecstasy for the two of you, jude’s head falling into your shoulder trying to hold back from cumming on the spot. “you feel so so so good baby. such a tight pussy for me…” he moans out when you scratch his back and grip his biceps. you look down to see where your bodies meet, a wet mess that has you rolling your head back again. 

“oh god jude… you’re so deep i can’t-” you turn your head to the side as he finds your g-spot thrusting over and over again, his hips slapping against yours. it couldn't get more better than this. jude grabs your chin and kisses you passionately, swallowing your moans and pleads. “you’re gonna cum for me? need and want you to cum on my cock y/n… show me how much of a good girl you are and cum on my cock, baby.”

jude makes it his goal to have you cumming for him, but you try to hold off so you can cum together. every cell in your body is on fire, ready to burst into fire because it feels so good. it gets harder by the second as he picks up the pace, his thrusts sloppier by the second, moaning your name, resulting in you clenching around him. you're unable to form coherent words, just hearing his breathing getting louder, your chest rising. “i’m nearly there y/n, want you to cum with me, can you do that?”

“yes jude… but i beg you to please don’t stop it.”

jude let’s go of your hips, forehead falling with yours as he reaches his high, feeling his cock twitching inside you, his cum lacing your wet walls with his release. your body tenses for a second, the hot feeling now being replaced by cold waves as you cum, lazily kissing as jude lays on your chest. “i love you, y/n, so much.”

“i love you too Jude. forever like we promised.”

after going up for a shower, jude takes care of you, since you were unable to walk properly. he makes sure you’re hydrated, wearing the plaid shorts you love with a black long sleeve, him just an old pair of boxers he still had lying in your flat, he checks that all lighting units downstairs are off, grabbing the box of cookies and goldfish to eat. 

he pulls you into his embrace, hugging your waist never letting go, constantly softly kissing your cheek like he always did. after he uses the restroom and helps you brush your teeth, you’re lying on your bed, the white sheets covering your shivering bodies. 

jude lays on top of your chest again, his right hand sliding up and down your side, his head resting comfortably on the crook of your neck, his eyes fluttering and smiling when you kiss his temple lovingly. “go to sleep jude… you need it, i’m not going anywhere,” you promise feeling as he wraps you closer to him. “don’t ever let me go please, just want you here like this all the time…” he confesses, his head coming up to see your glowy eyes. 

“i’m not gonna… i feel safe and at home in your arms like this jude. so no, i’m not letting you go again or ever,” you stick with your word. jude’s lips softly kiss yours, tasting your cherry chapstick with a hint of mint.

“goodnight princess. i love you.”

[head---ache]

Fankids Character Charts [1/3]

The kids!! The first 7 out of all the kids getting charts!!! They're going to be divided in three groups because they're too many kiddos now lol.

More detailed info under the cut!

Emmie: Sonadow kid, the one who got my fankid train started! Also, the first Tube Baby! (Here's three posts about it: One, two, three).

Her full name is Emily (meaning "rival"), however, everyone just calls her Emmie (out of universe explanation + in universe explanation).

She has Black Arms DNA, but it's uncertain the lenghts it's effects have on her. They know she had green blood (first shown here) and has access to the Hivemind, which as a baby she used to communicate with Shadow (first shown here), but as she grew older she stopped using it, and now finds it harder to access it.

She, of course, also has Chaos Energy. She has super speed and can perform Chaos Control (here) and turn Super (first shown here), but her super form is highly unstable and quickly becomes similar to Sonic's "Super Fleetway" form (here).

Emmie uses her trusty yoyo to fight (here), complementing her powers and ability in a way to extend the reach of her attacks, rope in her enemies, etc.

Sparks: The oldest of my Blazamy kids, and first Belly Baby in the lineup (here's context).

Sparks has fire powers, similar to Blaze's, though they find them a bit harder to control. They get Blaze, Knuckles and Espio's help to learn to use said powers, since they require a lot of training. Also, again, quite like Blaze, they can turn into Burning Sparks (here), but this form drains their energy pretty fast.

Since Blaze is a princess, Amy, Sparks and Tulip do acquire royalty related tiltes, however, they're very informal and don't hold that much power due to Blaze not wanting them to have any responsability simply because they're related to her. Despite this, Sparks does end up becoming ruler of the Sol Dimension later in the timeline, but by their own volution.

They use a fire sword to fight (here). It would be a simple sword, but they infuse it with their powers for it to become this flaming version of the weapon.

Lash: The oldest of my Scourgiona kids and your local surprise baby representation.

Her main ability is acrobatics, and she has some sort of super speed but it's quite weak compared to Emmie's.

She has both mommy and daddy issues, and spends most of her time at Aim's house, although she grew up with Mareep, Glamour and Stumble. She has two older siblings, and at first she didn't have much of a relationship with them, since they're younger than her and much closer to each other, but eventually Lash steps in and tries to be a part of her siblings' life like their parents should've been.

She starts as more of a "villain", taking the role of your local mean girl next to Mareep and the others, and has a bit of friction with the rest of the kids, but as she starts hanging out more with Aim and Spades, she begins to let that attitude go and tries to be better, eventually joining the Restoration.

Aim: Whispangle kid, selectively mute, and a Belly Baby.

He does archery, which is their main fighting technique, however, during battle, they also use their tail to move around faster and will occasionally team up with Whisper's wisps.

He does not speak, at all, but the others just seem to understand him without him even needing sign language or anything. Also finally giving it a name rather than just saying 'he doesn't speak', they're selectively mute! So yay for it finally having a name!

Bria: Sonina (Sonia x Mina) Belly Baby! Making them Emmie's younger cousin.

They don't fight much, rather serving to give hope and high spirits to those around her! But of course, living in the universe they live in, they know martial arts just in case it's needed, and as self defense.

Even though Bria's hard of hearing, his biggest passion is music. She plays piano and guitar, piano being his main instrument.

Tulip: The youngest of my Blazamy siblings, also a Belly Baby (in universe explanation here).

He hasn't shown any special ability yet, which is something that bothers him. Because of this, he isn't allowed to be around the other kids when there's danger, but he's very sneaky and often gets things to work in his favor anyway (in some strange way, he always knows what to do to get what's best for his interests, hm...)

He has an interest in tarot cards, like Amy, and in these sorts of magic related topics.

Destiny: One and only Code Baby! And Sallicole kid. She's an AI similar to Nicole, but with more advanced and sophisticated technology.

Being an AI, she can easily hack into robots and computers, which helps during battle.

They usually take the leader role very naturally, immediately making a plan on the spot and guiding the rest of the group thanks to her rational thinking nature. However, she's quite shy which makes things a bit difficult for her, her confident side mainly showing when assuming the role of the leader, or when fighting for things they're passionate about.

Destiny is president and leader or a smaller section of the Restoration, which is the training and formation for teenagers. This is where she shines her brightest, leading this group on missions and making their plans of action, as well as organizing their training schedule.

[readychilledwine]

Beauty in Pain Pt 2

Summary - Losing your wings may have been the best thing to ever happen to you

Warnings- mentions of trauma, mentions of therapy, blood, normal happy marriage discussions

A/N - I kept this short and sweet (1000 words) as a kind of like closure moment for those of us who wanted and needed it. ❤️ Also part 2 of the Death of Peace of Mind is still going up tonight. I just didn't want to give you all whiplash since that Eris is so different from drabble Eris 😂

You would never get used to waking up on your back. It was never possible before the incident. You had always slept on your stomach, Azriel's large wing over the top of your smaller ones, your hands and possibly a leg touching. 

Since losing your wings 6 months ago, though, sleeping has changed significantly. It happened one night on a whim, Azriel laying between your legs on his tummy while you played with his hair. Between the warmth and weight of his body on yours, you had fallen asleep after he had. It had become almost nightly now, you falling asleep on your back, basking in the comfort his body weight brought you. 

Azriel shifted above you, sensing you were awake through the bond, and snuggled in tighter. "5 more minutes," sleep laced his deep voice, causing it to be slightly graveled. "Then kisses."

"What if I want kisses now?" Azriel seemed to instantly perk up at the question, his eyes suddenly wide and alert. 

He moved so he was directly above you, a scarred finger coming to trace your cheekbones. "Then who would I be to deny such a beautiful female her morning kisses?" Before he could act on the request, your bedroom door slammed open and a body dived into your bed, shaking it slightly. 

Azriel glared towards your older brother, "What, Cassian?"

You felt Cassian wiggle a hand between you two, finding your waist and pulling you over to him. "You're late for training, she is late for her meeting with Madja." 

Meeting was a polite way to put what you did once a week with the elderly healer. Once a week, you two sat with tea and talked. Sometimes it was about life, sometimes it was about what happened. Sometimes you just listened to her speak about healing, an unexpected career change you recently began going through. 

Azriel buried his head into your shoulder, sighing deeply before getting up and grabbing clothing to change into. Cassian held you close, softly kissing your temple as he dug his body into your bed. "Sorry, Sissy. He's been late the past 5 days."

You didn't have the heart to tell Cassian why. Azriel was ready to settle down to start a family. He wanted late mornings in your bed, and early nights turned in before the sun had fully set. He wanted to know you were safe, no longer a target, and that he'd be with you at all times instead of away for weeks. Azriel was ready to start a family. Cassian had, now the proud dad of a newborn girl. Rhysand had the proud father of a tiny Illyrian male. Azriel was ready for the same joy they had, and you were ready for it, too. 

"Maybe he needs a vacation," you replied. Cassian shrugged. "Or maybe he needed those morning kisses you interrupted."

You two heard Azriel yell in confirmation from the bathroom, and both chuckled. "Madja is waiting for you. I know you don't like these sessions, but they have been good for you."

You stared at him, blinking slowly. "I can't really get out of bed with you here."

"Why?"

"She's naked," Azriel appeared, wearing his training leathers. "Let's go, Cass." Cassian's face flushed before he got out of the bed. "I'll tell her you're on your way." Azriel leaned down, kissing you gently. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Rhys and Madja sat downstairs. They were sipping tea and whispering softly regarding your progress. "She's wonderful with children especially," the old healer said as she added another spoon of sugar into the tea. "They love her and respond to her very well."

Rhysand shifted. "That does not surprise me. Nyx and Emmy both love her. How is she mentally." 

"I'm okay," you moved into the room and sat in the third chair. "No nightmares for the past 3 months." Rhys nodded, reaching for your hand. "Azriel and I talked about starting a family."

They both immediately straightened up, Madja's eyes beginning to sparkle in excitement. "That is a big step, y/n. How do you feel about that?"

You smiled. "We've both always wanted kids. It's just the natural progression at this point. I do not have to work, we technically own the cabin we'd move to outright, we are financially secure."

"But are you ready?" Rhys asked softly. "There's a 100% chance of wings, if it's a girl-"

"She would be loved regardless of what happened to me and protected by her father." You looked firmly at Rhys. "We want this. I want this."

He nodded, rested his forehead against your hand. "Then I want it for both of you as well. Nyx has loved being a big cousin."

Madja trailed back. "Do you not want to work, y/n?" 

You shook your head. "I do until I am pregnant. Once I have a babe, though, I would like to enjoy a stay at home mother role." 

Madja nodded, her smile still firm on her face. "I believe you are healthy enough to have a child. You have my approval as your healer."

Rhys looked towards the door to the training area and sighed. "Cassian is bleeding. They're on their way in." 

Azriel walked in seconds later, a sly smile on his face as he supported Cassian. "Idiot zigged when he should have zagged. Flew straight into a kick." Cassian huffed out a laugh as you moved to allow him to take your spot and went to Azriel's side. 

His arm wrapped around your waist, "You are happy."

You kissed his cheek, smiling as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Happiest I've been in a while."

Azriel leaned into you, whispering into your ear. "Did she approve?" You nodded, feeling his grin grow. "And Rhys?" You nodded again. "Then we should start trying. Now."

"Now?" You looked at him, eyes wide.

"Now," he confirmed before pulling you up the stairs, the two of you laughing with each step. 

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Mystery of love

Part II

a/n look I am wine drunk and I have thoughts. 🤷‍♀️

summary: when two lost souls meet at their mutual friend’s party sparks fly, the question is if whatever they feel can actually bloom into something more? But that’s the mystery of love.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was silly truly. You weren’t big fan of parties. You didn’t ever go out really. In the beginning, it was because people didn’t invite you anywhere. You weren’t the cool kid and nerds, well, they aren’t loved all that much through high school. Then you simply outgrow that phase. Life and real responsibilities caught up with you and now you would rather spend your time at home, curled up with a book than drag yourself home from god knows what parts of the city at odd hours.

But this Friday was different. Your friend and her partner were hosting a shared birthday party. And while you could have excused yourself if it was only her boyfriend's party now that she was also celebrating hers, it meant that you didn’t have it in yourself to lie through gritted teeth. So that’s how you found yourself a homemade pie in hand, flowers beneath your armpit as you waited for someone to open the door.

“Y/n”, a loud squeak made a smile break out on your face, “And with your infamous pie. Matt, she brought the pie I told you about”, Emmy turned back, yelling over the corridor. “Oh, I’m so glad you could make it”, she clasped your upper arm in excitement, “It’s just been me and the guys, need to balance it out, you know”, she chuckled, ushering you inside.

“Everyone this is Y/n, the best friend!”, Emmy skipped into the kitchen, gesturing to you as if you were the prized possession that had to be shown off. You felt your face heating up immediately. You hated being put in a spotlight like that, yet you managed to give an awkward wave. Trying to listen in to all the names shouted around the room. Letting your eyes fall from face to face carelessly. The chances of meeting these people…

Your gaze halted as you did a double take. Bringing your gaze back to those warm chocolate orbs that looked directly at you. It seemed as if everyone had moved on. Bickering about toppings for pizza. But it’s as if you two had been glued, nether managing to look away. “Matt, the boyfriend”, you blinked a couple of times turning your attention to the side. “So the friend finally meets the infamous man”, you chuckled under your breath, leaning into the side hug he was offering. “She talks loads of you, shame I’m only meeting you now”, Matt smiled at you and you quickly returned the gesture, “Trust me, I know awfully a lot about you too”. “Should I be worried?”, he chuckled, eyes falling on Emmy, fighting her way over cheese by the counter. “No, it’s mostly good stuff”, you shrugged, as you both chuckled to yourselves.

While the evening was fun the more the time passed the more the house turned into a frat party. You glanced at your phone for what felt like a thousand times. The location of your apartment was typed into the Uber app almost an hour ago, making you feel like a shit friend since for the most part all you had been thinking about was going home. That and the brown eyes that had followed you through the night.

“Wine?”, you flinched slightly, locking your phone. “Or are you already going somewhere else?”, startled you turned to the voice behind you, ready to give your best excuse only to feel them all die down at the sight of the same brown eyes. You simply turned your glass towards him, while trying to come up with anything proper to say.

“I’m Noah by the way”, he mused tilting the bottle to fill up your glass once more. “Yn”, you muttered. “Oh, I remember”, he smiled up at you, making your cheeks turn crimson even more. “Sorry, just so many people and faces, I’m awful with names”, you whined giving him an apologetic smile. Noah simply shook his head, “Trust me, it’s almost refreshing”. You let his words wash over you as you both fall into silence once more.

“So… Where were you planning to run off to and can I join?”, Noah’s words took by surprise as you turned to him once more. A light chuckle slipped past your lips, “I was planning on going home”, you admitted with a little shrug. “Matt’s cooking not to your liking?”, his words instantly sent panic running through your veins. “Oh, no, no, it was so good. Emmy talks about his food so much and…”, you instantly felt like defending yourself, “Hey, I’m only joking”, Noah cut in, “I didn’t… Shit did I just get you all worked up over that?”, he ran a hand over his mouth looking at you.

You started at one another for a while before both falling into fits of laughter. “Sorry, shit, it’s been a while”, Noah shook his head. “No, it’s fine, I’m too introverted for this”, you brushed him off, reaching for your glass. “Can I be honest?”, Noah asked, stepping closer so he could stand beside you. You simply nodded, watching him take a sip out of the bottle. “I haven’t been able to look away from you”, he admitted, “Sounds so fucking childish but… There’s something about you”, Noah mussed turning to look at you once again. “Maybe it’s the wine?”, you shrugged, trying to not let his words make your heartbeat pick up. “I was dead ass sober when I first saw you, sweetheart”, he muttered, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

You couldn’t help but bite your lip as you tried to keep that smile at bay. His fingers carefully caressed your jaw before brushing over the bottom of your lip. “You would never like me sober”, you mussed pulling back. “And how would you know that?”, he pushed on, determined to keep you close. “I’m nothing like Emmy”, you pointed out, glancing back towards the kitchen where people were dancing around the counter. “Who said that I like girls like Emmy?”, Noah’s words made a shiver run down your back. “Guys always choose girls like her over girls like me”, you chuckled, taking an eager gulp of the wine in your glass. The last thing you needed was to unload years of insecurities onto a stranger.

“Funny, girls only started looking at me now, I was never the first choice”, Noah shrugged making you glance back at him. “Yeah, right”, you snorted, not able to imagine a universe where someone would pass an opportunity to date someone like him. “A strange nerd with a lisp doesn’t rank highly, darling”, he grunted making you frown, “Don’t say that about yourself”, you argued back. “Ah… But you can put yourself down?”, he smirked back at you with that knowing grin.

“Fine, we both are weird. Happy now?”, you shook your head. “Would be happier if you would go on a date with me”, Noah’s words sent another cold shower down your back. You watched him for a heartbeat. He looked like a lover boy. A black hoodie, sweet eyes. That smile. Only the tattoos covering his hands indicated a more dangerous side of him. The side you had a feeling would pull you under. “Very funny, but I’m not falling for this”, you shot him a tight smile, reminding yourself that there wasn’t a universe where a guy like him would fall for a girl like you. “You don’t know me, yet you are putting labels on me”, his hand wrapped around your upper arm as he made you halt in your tracks, “you wound me, sweetheart”, Noah muttered, leaning in.

“And who’s worried about how much you will wound me?”, your words seemed to sober him up in an instant. A frown replaced a smile that was previously there. “Why would I…”, he breathed out. “Thank you for the wine”, you lift your glass slightly towards him, “And for the chat. Tell Matt he’s a wonderful cook”, you cheered him, clicking your glass with the bottle in his hand before turning away from him. Heart beating so fast in your chest, it was making you dizzy.

“Hold on, YN”, you heard his voice as you moved across the room, avoiding contact with people. Quickly lowering your glass onto the nearest table before heading towards the door. You couldn’t look back even if everything in your body screamed for you to. Noah’s voice hunted you till you slipped outside, hurrying towards the gate, hands quickly looking for the first possible Uber.

[sturniolo04]

Kinks M.S.

Bf!Matt x Gf!Fem!Reader

Summary; in which Matt likes to be called daddy

My Boyfriend of 4 years aka Matthew Benard Sturniolo aka the horniest boy you will ever meet. We were currently sitting in between Matt's leg with my back rested against his chest watching the random movie  that came on that really had my attention until Matt started kissing on my neck aggressively  I pulled away looking at my boyfriend giggling at his sexual tension

Emmy: Bae what are you doing

He looked at me blankly quickly cover his growing erection in his sweats hoping I wouldnt see it

Matt: Nothing j-just come lay back down

he said as he pulled me back in the same position we were in two seconds ago and it wasnt even 2 mintues and he started rubbing on my thighs hungrily

Emmy; Baby

I said looking at him then looking down at his bulge in his sweat pants

Matt: Sorry i-i

He said quickly trying to hide it

Emmy: Baby you could have just asked me to fix it

I said biting my lip

Matt: well can you

Emmy: Of course i can

I pressed my lips on his as he grabbed my face to deepening the kiss his hands traveled underneath his hoodie that i was wearing slipping it off on my body

Matt: fuck your so beautiful

 he said admiring my figure i giggled at his cuteness proceeding to take off his shirt and running my hands down his chest stopping at the hem of his sweat pants taking them off slowly and proceeding to tease him kissing his v-line not touching any of the areas he wanted me to touch

Matt: Babee please godd

he groan throwing his head back in complete pleasure after moments of continuous teasing he couldnt take it

Matt: That's it

He said flipping us over so he was in charge

Matt: my turn

he said scanning body which was still clothed with my shorts and you talk about a tease he started to kiss me through the fabric of my shorts as i tugged on his hair

Emmy: Mattyy please

I pleaded wanting him to just fuck me already

Matt: tell me what you want daddy to do

Emmy: everything pl-please just do something anyhting

i practically screamed out he climbed off of my momentarily to grab a condom and slide it onto his length before climbing back onto my body sliding into me slowly

Emmy: daddy

I softly moaned as my hands traveled up gripping his biceps. As he thrusted in and out of me  harshly.

Emmy: fuck Matt

he grunted sounding not satisfied with what he was doing angling his hip hoping to find satisfaction and sure enough

Matt: I knew it was there somewhere

he grunted seeing that he harshly attacked my g-spot

Emmy: FUCKK MATTT RIGHTT THERE

I screamed out tighten my grip on his hair i felt a familiar knot in my stomach telling me i was close and i could tell Matt was too seeing his thrusts started to get sloppy

Emmy: Daddyy i am soo close

I said closing my eyes immediately taken by all the pleasure coursing through my body

Matt: Me too babygirl

His breath hitched as his high approached placing his hand around my neck while aggressive thrusting coming down from his high

Matt:fuckkk

He groaned he came and pulled out of me laying down next to me out of breath I giggled at his tired out state he looked at me laying next to him 

Emmy: Babe

i said while propping myself up on my elbow admiring my now tired boyfriend

Matt: hm

He turned his head to look at me

Emmy: where did Daddy come from

I asked laughing at the thought as he put his hands on his face chuckling

Matt; I dont know i was just in the moment and

he said justifying himself

Emmy: so safe to say you have a daddy kink

Matt: Maybe

I looked at him as he reply uncertain

Matt: ok yeah i do

 i giggled as he said that turning my body to now be laying on my stomach he stared at the ceiling for a minute and then proceeding to get up to put his clothes back on and giving me his hoodie to put back on

Emmy: hey daddy can you take me to get food

I asked as i felt his eyes on me

Matt: Of course babygirl lets go oh and nice ass

he said slapping my ass making me immediately grab my butt which hurt from the sting

Emmy: MATTHEW

[hrtsdollie]

GONE - M. STURNIOLO (matthew sturniolo x reader)

pt2

warnings; no use of y/n , super angsty , death , car crash , funeral , crying , hmmm lmk what else

major warning; this is a super rough topic to write about, if you don’t like the idea of reading something where matt passes, then please do not continue reading. this is purely fiction, and in no way, shape, or form am i trying to spread misinformation and claim that matt is seriously dead. this is just a thought i had (about readers grieving process and sort of the reaction). if you don’t like it, don’t read it. if i receive hate from this, anons and comments will be turned off. - xoxo emmy.

early sunday morning my phone buzzed. over and over. not the sound of an alarm, but a sound of a phone ringing. my phone ringing. i rolled over, reaching for the device and swiping to answer the call. before i could even get a word in another voice spoke, the voice of my boyfriends mother.

“hey baby, could you come over today?” she asked, her voice raw with hurt, and it seemed to be breaking more by the second.

“of course, when would you like me to come over?” worry laced in my voice.

“now, please..” she said. something was up. something was wrong. i had to get there. i don’t remember much after saying our goodbyes, and me entering my car. but i do remember arriving. the door to matt’s childhood home cracked open. my sweet soon to be mother-in-law looked sorrowful, her usually rosy cheeks were stained with tears. she pulled me inside. 

“sit down for this..” she said, not as a question, but more as a command. her tone and her appearance made me more and more worried as seconds passed.

“what’s wrong momma?” momma. something i became accustomed to calling her after hearing matt call her that endless times. i didn’t sit down. i stood my ground. what was wrong..?

“just sit down,” she says one last time, her voice filled with hurt. “im sorry.. i didn’t mean to raise my voice. it’s just-“

at this point i began to tear up aswell, not because of this odd situation i found myself in, but because of the somber look on one of my favorite peoples face.

“it’s matt, baby. he’s,” her voice cracking and her eyes heavy. “gone.”

i racked my brain for an explanation.. “gone”. 20 year old boys don’t just go, matt couldn’t be “gone” he was in boston. he is in boston. his hometown. the place we met, and the place he had brought me to this weekend just because. 

i tried to read her face. she stepped closer and pulled me in for a hug. “dead, honey. he’s dead.” 

11:47 pm, on july 19th, 2024, matthew bernard sturniolo was pronounced dead on the scene. my matthew. my boyfriend of three years. he wasn’t alive. 

that hit me hard. i felt like i couldn’t breathe. my vision went black, and my ears were ringing. the silence between me and his mother was deafening. i dropped to the floor. curled into a ball like an infant. matt wasn’t dead. matt was in boston with me. matt was in boston with his brothers and mom and dad. matt was alive. my eyes cried all of the tears they could, and eventually i could stand up and walk around through the house in search of matt. 

“matt,” i call out. “matthew — he’s not here baby.” marylou interrupts. i don’t believe her, i can’t believe her. this is some sick, sick joke. matt is alive. and he’s here in his house, waiting for me to find him. 

i make my way up to the boys childhood bedroom, that’s where he had been when i left last night to go stay in my hotel room that i had gotten in hopes of giving the family a more proper visit. a visit without their son’s girlfriend constantly being in the way. ripping the bandaid off, and turning the nob to open the door, the sight in front of me made me want to cry all over again. two boys, with the same face as matt, crying the same way i had been just moments before. somehow seeing his brothers made it hurt even more. they were my best friends, but they were him, they were in nearly every way the exact same as him. 

as the boys calmed down, i sat on the couch downstairs beside them. i needed to know the story, apparently. but what i really wanted was to see matt, and what i needed more than anything was for him to be back here, in boston, with me. he’d be here forever, forever in boston, forever 20, even as his brothers age, he’ll always be 20.

“matt had been driving, it was raining, and a car with no headlights on crashed into him. he swerved into a ditch.. they declared him dead on scene.” jimmy said, his voice wavering. marylou sat beside him, too distraught to speak now. “nick and chris were there too, matt just wasn’t as fortunate.” 

the other boys hadn’t sustained any injuries. small cuts could be found on them from shattered glass, and both would be on concussion watch until further notice. they were alive. but not matt, not my sweet boy. my sweet boy who loves — loved to drive his brothers around, even when they took advantage of it. my sweet boy who never failed to make me laugh or smile on a rough day. my sweet matty who was supposed to be my husband, and the father to my children. my sweet matt was gone. gone as in not returning, gone as in dead, dead as in dead.. like really, really gone. this was real now. 

the next few days were chaos. we had his wake. so many peoples showed up, lots sharing sweet memories and interactions with him. i think it was supposed to make me feel better, but it truly didn’t. nick and chris, my bestest friends put on a calm and brave facade. but i knew they weren’t okay either. 

his funeral service was beautiful. it would’ve been better if it wasn’t for him. it would’ve been better if i had the chance to say goodbye. the entire service, i sobbed violently. it somehow made this whole thing feel so much more real. jimmy held onto his wife. she hadn’t stopped crying in days, i don’t blame her. no parent should live longer than their child. and nick and chris shouldn’t have to go on without him. seeing justin was nice. just wish it was under better circumstances. 

at the end of the service, i approached his coffin. his final resting place. his funeral was closed casket due to the impact he suffered in the crash. i laid my head on the cold metal just feeling the boy close one last time. i think that might’ve been the last thing i will ever feel. for now im just numb. and it’ll stay that way forever. or until i meet my sweet boy again. 

divs by @/anitalenia

open to possibly writing pt2 on this one, feedback is so heavily encouraged (be kind, i am just a girl 😓).