#gk rage we love to see it

[azpiiicueta]

[ltleflrt]

I’m disappointed they didn’t even mention Cas. 

Now here’s the thing. I didn’t think spnwin was Going Destiel. I haven’t thought so at all from the very beginning.  I’m not surprised there’s no Cas, I’m not surprised there’s no mention of Cas, and I 110% agree with the positive fandom takes floating around that it wouldn’t have given us a fleshed out reunion scene, which is what we Hellers really want.  Tho, I wouldn’t have minded seeing them together, and then getting the reunion in another season or spinoff.  There’s room for things to happen out of order.  We’ve got time and universe travel, so linear storytelling is kinda boring when you’re playing with those tools.

But the thing is, I didn’t want The Winchesters.  I hated John, I didn’t care about Mary, and I didn’t see how this prequel could heal the still open wound that 15x20 left me with.  But I gave it a chance, and I really love it!  I have learned to like John and care about Mary, or at least this version of them, and there’s so many more characters outside of them that I have fallen in love with.  I even really like how season 1 wrapped up!  It was well done, and not just because of Dean’s presence.  This whole season has been a romp, and the finale was no different.  And I really really really want more seasons!  Just for more stories about the Winchester Gang.

But it didn’t do anything to make me feel better about 15x20.  In fact it made me feel even more upset about it.  And unlike many lucky people in fandom, I can’t pretend the finale didn’t happen.  Which means that I can’t rewatch SPN anymore.  For the better part of a decade, I watched the show on repeat.  It was the background noise of my life.  I cross stitched with it playing in the background, I cooked and cleaned with it playing in the background, I wrote fanfiction with it playing in the background.  I can’t do that anymore.  I tried to rewatch it in 2021, and I just kept getting angry.  I was losing sleep over it because I was so angry all the time.  And the only way I could stop being angry was to never watch it again.

I miss it so fucking much.

But even watching one episode a few months back caused me 4 days of depression and lost sleep, even though it was one of my favorites.  I cannot watch SPN again while 15x20 affects me like this.

And I was hoping The Winchesters would give me something to help.  It didn’t. And I don’t resent that, because I understand that the season was short, Misha was busy, Jensen’s really hoping to do more someday.  But the thing is...he may not get to.  There may not be a S2.  There may not be a reboot mini series.  This may be all we get.  And so I’m sad, because if there’s no more, then I may never be able to rewatch SPN again.

I’m depressed as fuck about it today, and I can feel the underlying rage coming back, and I already popped awake at 3am and lost sleep over how easy it could have been to include Cas in 15x20 or to mention him in 01x13. 

I’m going to bury myself in Dragon Age for a while.

See y’all next week for GK.

[here-lies-golden-kamuy]

Hi there! I have come to bring you a GK question

What do you think of Nikaidou? He's my favourite character and I love to hear some insights from you

Hey @moonbirdflies! Thanks for your question, and for the record you have an excellent and quite frankly based taste in favorite characters. I adore Nikaidou (I’ll be referring to know as Kouhei for this post), I’m always happy to see him whenever he pops out! I hope these insights satisfy a Nikaidou stan like you! 

Nikaidou Kouhei Once Whole, Now Disjointed

At first, I didn’t really pay attention to him because he’s…not really someone who stands out (and having an identical twin brother did not help with identifying him as his own individual character). It’s kinda sad that well…since Sugimoto is the main character, you’re meant to root for his survival and his victory against Youhei. But to Kouhei, this was a devastating moment for him — he lost a constant and loyal foundation in his life. Whenever I rewatch the anime, Kouhei’s rage and sorrow at the death of his younger brother breaks my heart. 

There is absolutely no doubt that Kouhei loved his brother. In chapter 76, when Tanigaki tells Tsurumi about his past, the twins are seen whispering and listening to each other in the background. Honestly, the Nikaidous don’t really seem to be close to anyone else in the Seventh Division other than to themselves. I can see them having their own little world that only they share: there’s no one else in their life that means more to them than their sibling. Comparing him to Sugimoto, I can see Sugimoto’s devotion to his found family in Asirpa to be the same love the Nikaidous had for each other. 

Which is why it makes sense that he was absolutely consumed with his desire to avenge his brother and kill Sugimoto. Sugimoto didn’t just kill his blood relative, he killed Kouhei’s heart. The immortal one killed the one person who Kouhei relied on in his life, his responsibility to protect (as an older brother). And his beloved brother was taken from him in such a sudden and grueling way. No wonder his mental health was greatly impacted by his passing. 

Nikaidou’s story is a sad story of someone who gets lost in life because of grief and anger. He’s shown as a picture of how someone drowning turns into vices and even more revenge, rather than find a healthy outlet to heal. He kind of reminds me of Sugimoto in this way: Sugimoto was a man who was lost in his past brutality but was eventually “saved” by Asirpa’s kindness. NIkaidou’s “person” was already lost, and since he didn’t have anyone else who cares about him in his immediate periphery (Tsurumi and Arisaka’s “care” for him as a guinea pig for prosthetics does not count), he got dragged deeper and deeper into that hell and he couldn’t get out of it. 

Aside from his relationship with his brother, let’s talk about him as a character! Kouhei is someone who is treated as a comic relief for most of the story, but honestly, I wished that he was also treated as a serious character too. What I mean by that is that I wished we got a solid backstory with him and how both brothers got into the army. I mean, Usami was introduced later in the series, but he got a solid (albeit very unnerving) backstory. I wish we got more information on the past life of the Nikaidou twins. I wanna see them eating their favorite Mandarin oranges during their season, cutting them into pieces, and sharing it with each other. I wanna see how the two of them got into trouble early on in their lives, having the other as their main confidant and partner-in-crime. 

By the way, I’m glad that despite his several amputations, it does not stop him from being the cool soldier that he is. It’s just very exasperating to see characters who have acquired disabilities (like amputated limbs for example) become reduced to their disability. You know, maybe I’ll talk about disability representation in Golden Kamuy just because of this, but I’m glad that Kouhei wasn’t seen by his other soldiers as a “commodity” or “worthless” because of his amputations. He’s still respected and treated as a soldier, he can still fight (and still wants to, I’m glad they respected his will and desire to keep fighting), and his superior support him getting prosthetics! I like that support from Tsurumi at least. 

Don’t get me wrong though, I love Nikaidou as a comic relief! He’s made me laugh so hard, especially with his antics. And he’s such a badass soldier, fighting with both his wits and strength, even facing off against Hijikata once (well he lost his cool when Sugimoto arrived and lost something else but still! Very cool!). While I wished he was treated as a more serious character, I’m glad that he exists as a cool side character. Kouhei deserves more fans, and I’m glad we're both his!!

[papers4me]

Fascinating concepts in Golden Kamuy Manga ( part 2)

In part 1, I listed 3 concepts that I find intriguing in Golden Kamuy ( GK), I provided short explanation of these concepts but due to issues of space couldn’t provide more examples. The previous 3 concepts were: (1). Broken men of war & death, (2) Fun dynamics & journey companion  does not equal close friendships, & (3) Perspective is where characters are truly at. In total I have 9 concepts but intend to post 3 at a time. So, here we go~

4. What breaks men of war: ( emotional ties)

in my previous post, I’ve mentioned that these men of war are not fazed by death & some are even obsessed with it. goldenkamuyhunting has kindly added that they are affected by the death of those whom they’re emotionally connected to, and provided examples. very true. However, I want to look at this concept from another perspective. As much as the constant brush with death has hardened their hearts & stole chunks of their humanity, all the characters are still human. Their humanity isn’t mostly displayed in how they treat strangers/ enemies, or men on the other side, it is presented on how easily they crumble down once you press the right button: their loved ones. They have strong emotional ties that can break them down, even now after they’ve become so drenched in blood. These ties are mostly connected to ppl who are the reason of their current perspective or their past selves. Sugimoto, the ruthless, breaks down in tears at the memory of toraji, at the idea of failing Yumi, at the thought seeing Asripa become like him: a killer. These emotional ties break him into tears & self loathing frenzy. Sadistic Nikaidou not only mourn his brother, but becomes a shell of a man, delusional, erratic, addicted to drugs & hollow. Tsukishima, Tsurumi’s right hand who kills with no hesitation, becomes all sorts of mess at the thought of Igogusa: anger, tears, loss, despair, explosive rage, self-loath coupled with low self-esteem. Tsurumi himself, the man who fondly remember running thro rain of blood, was so affected by the murder of his wife & daughter to the point of not being able to restrain himself. (many examples) but the point is, I applaud the writer for not going the path of writing these characters as emotionless hard cold blooded war veterans. They have emotions & can break into sobs. You might think they’re unable to form new emotional ties, but some can, sugimoto formed healthy independent ties with shirashi! But the issue is not the new ties. The real issue is these men of war not yet dealing with the old emotional ties from their past. Those ties are eating them from the inside. The pain is still raw!

5. Excellent portrayal of unstable psyche:

Some of these men, due to the past emotional ties, have developed unstable thinking & deep troubling thought process & reasoning coupled with the ugly brutality of war. Other writers will simply write men such as Tsurumi or Ogata as mad guys, crazy & lunatic. But Noda chose a deeper more logical & intriguing approach. Their behavior shows elements of unstable & deeply trouble thinking; little boy Ogata poisoning his mother & Tsurumi’s infatuation of being a soul snatching shinigami. What they have done is unexcused & cannot be corrected. However, they are not mindless lunatics. Both characters are mysterious & rarely allowed to have inner monologue abt their true goal. Both play on different sides & have gone through some personal journey to solidify their nihilistic belief. Both goes even deeper into the depth of seemingly unstable thought process. Ogata, lacking family love, questions the concept of pity, mercy & compassion. Embarks on a journey to prove that he’s not alone in feeling no guilt over human death. That his tragic thinking is not up-normal. Other ppl exist like me. ppl other than weird Usami. Nothing is wrong with me, so father should accept me. So tragic. Yet Ogata even with this unstable thinking is portrayed as smart with analytic thinking, skilled, seemingly not swayed by manipulators & very perceptive! Same goes for Tsurumi, extremely manipulated, cunning, intelligent & sweet talker, but was shown as a loving father as he held his daughter in his hand in most of his Japanese language teaching scenes with wilk in Russia. His family’s death deeply troubled him & changed him into the monster he’s currently is. Obsessed with their bones. Not mourning them yet. His position as the story’s villain adds to this but in a very balanced way. There are more examples, such as Usami & a number of the tattooed convicts. But the point is the writer treats the characters as human, who are capable of unstable obsession & thinking, yet can display normal behavior & excellent logical thinking as well.

( btw: I’m not putting any character with the same scale as the other, or saying they’re equal or identical. They are NOT.  I’m simply looking at a ting aspect from their behavior in light of the concept they share) 

6. No heroes:

I duno abt you. But I don’t sense that this is a story of a bunch of alliances saving the day against the big baddie. I could be wrong tho. But this story has sth that is lacking from most stories, which is: each side have winning points as much as loosing points. Meaning each side has arguments that can lead to their logical success as much as arguments that sheds some light on the holes in their plans. Even the argument that says minority groups should have their own land with their own culture, while very just in concept, the application is quite complicated. A group of ppl with no strong army sitting on a land of rich resources won’t be left alone by other nations. It never happened in the real world, & while GK is fiction, it is safe to say that Noda is aware of this as he made Tsurimi himself point this out in ch,271. Even if the minority groups get their land, they can’t preserve their own culture if they continue their old ways without adapting into new generations & without reaching out to the outside world. Once again Trsumi pointed this out while talking abt japan itself. I duno how Noda plans to solve this. But This is not even exclusive to the Auni/Japan/Russia situation. Again, the story itself is way bigger than that. Each character is not even the hero of their own story. Asirpa’s trauma of finding herself shouldering the burden of an entire culture while struggling to have a normal selfish goal like any normal girl. Sugimoto becoming her body guard while she solves an issue that he himself isn’t that much interested in! he just wanted her to be happy. More importantly he wants her to NOT be like him. Living thro Asripa while he should be trying to figure out his own path, rather than looking for salvation thro the innocent angelic Asipra or becoming a human skinning tool to get the money for Ume’s eyes treatment when she herself never asked him to! Tsukushima, desperately trying to believe that there’s at least some bigger picture good for following Trsurmi, that all the years of blood stinky hands can mean sth, somehow, in the future, so may examples. But I love the concept of grey characters so dearly, no heroes, no angels.

Disclaimer:

I know my explanation for each argument & each concept & the examples I provide can be misunderstood. But I assure you that each time I provide an example, I’m looking at a tiny aspect of a deeply complex & intriguing character that cannot be summarized into one or two concepts & is bigger than to be compared to other characters as well. Each concept is shared by a number of characters but with different approach, level & reasoning behind it. If I want to discuss a certain character in depth, I’ll do that in a post dedicated for them  alone.

Lastly, This is just a fraction of my personal opinion abt the story & characters. I’m not claiming this is how they are truly written or this how Noda intended it or even that you should share my thoughts. I just think this manga is so darn good & rich with fascinating characters!

[readbythestarlight]

c2e131

How we feeling everyone? Are we ready for the possibility of everything going absolutely and horribly wrong? I know I’m not!

Sam

Sam

SAM

NO

This man

SAAAAAM

OH MY GOD

"I have a mirror where is it?!" Sam

I hope he was planning on a haircut anyway

The things this man will do to horrify his friends

"That was despicable" he says of his friends (mostly) doing his best to keep him from destroying his hair

[[MORE]]

"Do we still do years!?" mood

Matt did you just call them Vox Machina

Yeeeeesssss Yasha time to prove yourself baby!!

Oh dang Matt that’s a cool way to make sure the rest of them get to be involved

I have a feeling that (if) she loses the lesson will be that her strength comes from her friends and that she doesn’t have to do things alone? Something along those lines

Damn Liam don’t hold back xD

They’re gonna kill her in the first round omg

I love how they’re still so proud whenever she remembers to rage

Thank Kord for that tho

Travis’s just literal YELLS of delight when she goes reckless lol

S: "what’s my backstory"

M: ":) here’s ur backstory u little shit"

Travis just SHOUTING is literally the best part of this

He’s having SO much fun and is so happy for Ashley it’s adorable

RIP storm Laura

I thought for sure she said 66 and I died

Sam is truly the most chaotic man I’ve ever seen

Oh my GODDD YES GIRL

Sam’s antics are so funny

Go Yasha go Yasha go Yasha come on girl

YES it’s about time

I’m having some emotions

Oh thank gods Wentsforth is okay at least

I’m still worried as fuck about Yussah though

Something tells me he’s not on Darktow?

JESTER

he asked you NOT to

I’m gonna be emo about Fjord and Vandrin now

"No spoilers please" oh I love him instantly

Hot springs before they gk to a nice frozen wasteland of doom, good call

Oh I hope he’s not upset

Okay good

I’m glad that went over well

Yeah y’all should definitely warn Essek? And you should definitely like? Call him? Now?

"Do you think you could work alongside your abuser?" THANK you Beau for straight up calling it like it is

I really really really don’t want them fighting alongside Trent

And also they should kinda consult Essek about this? He’s not gonna want to fight alongside them

Also yeah listen Beau’s right the concern isn’t about you killing him it’s about him preying on and distracting you through your trauma

"You may be under scrutiny. Ikythong could know about our involvement with you. He could be coming. Maybe we could help though. Where are you now?"

Oh boy poor Essek

"This is challenging tidings. Um. Then I cannot stay here long. I am at the outpost. If you still need my help we should leave soon. Soon."

Oh babe.

CALLIOPE ARE YOU UP

ARE YOU UP

CALLIOPE ARE YOU UP

god he’s the best little brother

Okay okay they made it to Eiselcross at least

Now just get to my boy

Oh NO that’s too far

I was hoping we’d get into a fight this episode just to save my stress levels but at this point it’s looking like that will be next week

Literally my only consolation rn is that Matt won’t send them into another huge battle with no spells if he can help it

Aw Fjord! He seems upset :(

HOT BOI

“Friends, please, enter.”

Y’all listen to Essek in this

Trent isn’t to be trusted here

Caleb apologizing for putting Essek in danger like Caleb babe </3

He was already in danger

Oh SHIT I’ve been waiting for Essek to find out about the eyes on Caleb (and Beau but obviously mostly Caleb)

I should write fic about that actually

Seriously though guys please listen to Essek on this one

E: “I am jealous... of the bravery and confidence you have in such things. I am still a coward.”

C: “Coward? You’ve dared much.” (Okayokayokayokayokay)

E: “I have done everything for myself, and when any of it came to bear I have done everything I can to hide and flee. I am more than happy to go and put my life on the line for this cause, but there is something about that man and what he could bring upon me and those he—he may very well be coming anyway, but if you want to work with him I may have to work independently, maybe follow. I feel I would make this messier than it needs to work. I’m not saying I’d leave you alone, but... you’d have to work separately.”

Thank god Fjord thanks for seeing reason

“Would you mind terribly taking off your shirt?”

Caduceus that’s Caleb’s line

For real tho guys plz listen to Essek and don’t ask Trent for help

“One person that we can trust—“ they trust Essek again and I’m CRYING about it

OmG I can’t breathe

Hot boiiiiio finally going on a trip with the gang! Sure hope nobody does horrifically!

“We are going to stick with you. We feel we can trust you more.”

Like a small hit to the heart and also making him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside y’all I’m crying

“I am thankful for the trust you put in me and I hope to... make this up to you. ...Anyway I’m bad at such discussions. Shall we?”

My BOY

Dagen makes nine

Prayer circle for next week guys I can’t lose a second purple fave in this campaign

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 87

Well, it had to happen.

SOMEONE had to call Sophia on her bullshit...

I stifled a moan as I felt the tension easing from the muscles in my legs.  Tyche and I - after much negotiating - were spending some quality time together for the first time in weeks.  Rather than our usual meet-up over a meal we had agreed to some yoga and a light workout.  At the moment, we were moving through a series of beginner level poses, me following her lead.  With the increasing gravity on the Ark, the movements were much more difficult than I had recalled, and I was already sweating.

Then again, that had been the point of the workout, I guess.

“Keep breathing, Soph…” Tyche warned as we moved from child pose to cobra pose.

“Trying,” I grunted. Was I this out of shape, or was it just that much harder?

Somehow, I survived finishing yoga. I sat on the floor for a moment, taking a breather.  We were in one of the communal spaces - I think it had originally been intended as passenger quarters, but was currently opened up and being used as a sort of gym.  We were currently debating what we wanted to do next to finish off our workout, when a red-haired man I didn’t quite recognize approached us.

As we jumped to our feet, the man scowled when Tyche stood slightly in front of me. “Weak,” he spat, and I realized he was one of the people I had noticed acting suspiciously early on.

“What do you want?” my sister asked in a carefully-neutral tone.

“I don’t want anything from the likes of you two,” he answered in a disgusted tone. “But you,” he glared at me, “need to stay away from the Leader.”

The bitter laugh that came out of my mouth sounded like a bark. “For starters, he approached me. I don’t know what his issue with me is, but I’m sure as shit not hunting him down to give him a second chance at a sucker punch.”

“The Leader would never - “

“Bullshit,” I cut him off. Tyche was still in front of me, but seemed content to let me speak.  “He would and he nearly did. I don’t know what the hell he told you and your buddies, but I was minding my own business when he tried to lure my friend away, and when I stopped him, he started talking about a situation he has no real clue about. If she hadn’t shoved me to the ground, his punch would have landed in my kidney instead of her side. You want a copy of the recording? I’ve got that, too.”

“You aren’t worth his attention,” the nameless man sneered.

Tyche snarled and stepped forward, brandishing her finger under his chin like a knife. “Your so-called leader isn’t worth the air he wastes by breathing, much less the poison that drips from his mouth.”

Surprisingly, he outright dismissed her, instead focusing on me. “You won’t have your precious guards around you forever.  The Leader will strip away everything you have, leaving you nothing.”

I managed to convince Tyche to step aside. “Look. Whatever Jokull Bjornson wants, I don’t have it.”

“Don’t you dare say his name!”

“Is this guy fucking Voldemort or something!?” I asked Tyche incredulously.

Her laughter seemed to be the opportunity he was waiting for. He stepped toward me aggressively, hands raised...

...Only to find himself flat on his back, me sitting on him, one forearm across his throat. I found myself absolutely furious, and tired of people treating me like I was some dainty, fragile thing. “Yes,” I hissed in his face, “the people who care about me put a lot of thought into keeping me safe. And yes, most of them are more willing to fight than I am. But that doesn’t make me helpless, you brainless fucker.  I don’t know where you or your precious leader got the idea that I can’t defend myself, but it may be one of the bigger piles of shit he’s selling you.”

Some vague glimmer of intelligence flickered across his face, and he nodded.  He didn’t even spit in my face, despite the fact that it looked like he really wanted to.  Satisfied that he got the message, I carefully let him up, keeping a watch on him the entire time as he left.  As soon as the door closed behind him, I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I had been holding, every ounce of willpower I had focused on not letting my legs collapse when the adrenaline just drained out of my body.  I managed a weak smile as I turned back to face my sister, proud of myself.

Needless to say, I was entirely unprepared for the blow that knocked me on my ass, pain blooming from my mouth.  My fight or flight response tried to find a target, only to see a seething ball of blonde rage standing there.

Tyche had decked me. Right in the teeth. “You foolish, stupid bitch! Now they know you aren’t helpless! We were counting on that!”

All I could do was stare at her, mixed with looking at the blood on my hand - and shirt, and the deck - before trying to speak “Da fug?” Ow. That hurt.

“When are you going to get it through that brilliant skull of yours that you don’t have to fix everything yourself?! Jesus, fuck, Sophia! Someone has it out for you, badly enough to try to assault you in clear view of everyone on this fucking ship. Which, in case the math escapes you, means they have more followers than we even realize, if he’s that confident.  He wasn’t trying to take you down, it was a fucking test. He wanted to see if you would fight back, and he never found out, because Charly didn’t let him.”

“Tyg - “

“No. You do not get to speak right now. You get to listen. When Charly took that hit for you? Yes, it made you look helpless, but it protected you.  Bjornson won’t attack someone who won’t fight back.  But, guess what? You just tore that protection to shreds, set it on fire, and pissed on the ashes.”

“Dis in’t deh fuss die sowwuh has had it oub fuh me.” Maybe she had a point about me not talking. That hurt like a bitch.

“AND YOU NEARLY DIED!” she roared. “For three weeks, I had to watch you try to figure out if you were going to live or die! Conor had to watch you. Derek had to watch you, the closest thing he has to a mom, almost die for three. Gods. Damned. Weeks.”

Her words hit me harder than the punch, and all I could do was gape.

“Yeah. That never occurred to you, did it? We all had to sit there and watch you die. Every day, every hour, every minute, we hoped you wouldn’t.  And this time, yeah, he’s got more people, but we thought we had the advantage, right? Because we knew who they were, we knew what they thought, but nooooooo.  Fuck all that to hell, because Sophia Moira Reid has to fucking save everyone!”

No. None of this occurred to me. I felt so small and guilty as I realized the truth of what she was saying. I had been so selfish.

Tyche’s eyes welled with tears and, if anything, that made her even angrier. “I can’t keep losing you, mon coeur. Three times! Three times in my life I’ve had to lose you. When you went to college, when the End happened, and when we ended up on the Ark, I thought ‘Finally! I finally get to have a sister! We can be in each other’s lives like siblings are supposed to be.’ But then I had…. I had to see you… She was tangled in your hair, killing you…”

I reached out one hand, wanting to comfort her but at a complete loss for what to do.  She was mourning me, the person sitting in front of her.

Tyche swatted my hand away and kept talking. “I love Conor and Maverick, but there is this part of me that just says ‘my sister has the self-preservation of a koala’, and I can’t be around all the time to protect you. It’s killing me. And I can’t exactly ask Arthur and GK to chain themselves to you around the clock.  If it were up to me, you would be confined to quarters, indefinitely, preferably sedated.”

“You would keep me prisoner?” I enunciated carefully, wincing slightly.

“Haven’t done it yet, have I?,” she sighed in defeat.  “Didn’t even ask anyone if it was possible, for that fact. And it wouldn’t be holding you prisoner, per se. More like….. Protective custody.”

“To protect me from Bjornson.”

“To protect you from yourself.”

“I’m not the one who busted my lip,” I pointed out, gesturing at the evidence. Tyche was trying to pull herself back together, and I wasn’t going to stop her.  Even if it did mean she was back to calling me an idiot.

She rolled her eyes and reached down to help me off the floor. “Don’t be so dramatic. I’ve seen you do worse to yourself washing laundry.”

“That stair was broken,” I argued, checking to see if my lip was done bleeding.  Almost.

“Yeah, and so was your ankle.”

“Does this mean I get out of weights today?”

“Nope,” she casually dashed my hopes. “You get to do fencing now.”

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[luukeskywalker]

oh, have you read chapter 255 of gk yet? Because if so I would like to ask your feelings and thoughts !

i have! so for anyone who hasn't read it yet, here it is. and if you can't read it right now for whatever reason, go ahead and press j on your keyboard, or if you're on mobile then just start scrolling fast. because i have a lot to say.

okay? we good? here we go.

first off: i was spoiled for what happened to usami. i got spoiled for it like three days before the chapter was even out on the official source! i have been sitting on this all fucking week and try as i might, i could not find any place that had the raws i was looking for, so i had to deal with vaguely knowing usami probably died this chapter without having any goddamn explanation as to how it happened.

i think, had i not been spoiled, i would have been so entertained by their fight, and with how it's going. i love usami SO MUCH, but i also know he isn't going to survive this series. i would have liked to see this fight without the building anticipation in my stomach to see -- i didn't know what i was going to see. everybody was just talking about how ogata killed usami, nobody said how or why, and i could never find those raws, so i had no idea what i was waiting for. i just had to go into this chapter with the knowledge that my favorite character would be dead by the time i finished reading it.

and... then it was that? a shot to the side of the chest? yes, it's bad, it's really bad, but i don't think it's going to kill him. not here, at least, and not now. he gets himself into bad situations all the time. one thing i've noticed about usami is that he is never fully successful. and that's true for pretty much everyone in this series (if they all did their jobs perfectly, we wouldn't have a story!) but for some reason it just feels so much more pronounced with usami. probably because tsurumi does keep giving him important tasks that always fall through. with the infiltration of abashiri, to the entire hot springs incident, to failing to catch jack, to giving up on jack entirely to go and spank kadokura. the man's got adhd or somethingbecause he is executive dysfunctioning all over the place. i love him so much.

i think now would be a good time to show off his true strength - because surely there's a reason tsurumi has kept usami around after all his failures, just like how he keeps nikaidou around after... being nikaidou. (i love him too)

remember when usami got shot in the leg in the hot springs? and he was like "ahh~~ kikuta hell mee~~~~ i cant waaaaaalk~~~~" and, you know, literally should have been in excruciating pain, yet still had time to be annoying and purposefully antagonizing to kikuta? i don't think he can shake a bullet off but i do think getting shot in the chest is going to make him angry again. and we've all see what an angry usami is capable of!

i don't think this is the exact end for him. not only because i think he's going to barbarian rage it at least one last time before he goes, but also because i don't think this would be a narratively satisfying death for him. not here, at least. he saw something on kadokura's back, and unless ogata sees it too, the only way for the plot to progress with that is for usami to get back to tsurumi and report it.

so to everyone out there who was spoiling this chapter, and making it sound like usami straight up got shot in the face, what the fuck? why! can you not keep your fucking mouth shut for a few days? i know it's hard but trying to avoid spoilers for golden kamuy is almost fucking impossible. i have so many iterations of the tags blocked, but that doesn't do much if people just don't tag their shit. or worse, add commentary to my posts that reference unreleased chapters. i literally have no way of avoiding that. you have gone into my house and yelled spoilers into my ear. what the fuck.

so, please, i'm really begging you guys, tag your spoilers if you can't keep quiet about the chapter. at least until the official release, my god, how are you people getting 255 raws so early.

if i'm spoiled for anything about usami next week, i'm going to be royally fucking pissed. i wasn't even on social media that much last week, i had too much fucking work! how did i get spoiled in the little time i spent on here!! fuck!! and next week i don't work that much so i'm in even more danger!! FUCK!!

i know it's annoying and you want to talk about the new chapters but like. please think about other people here.

[thenugking]

Grand Academy For Future Villains II: Attack of the Sequel, Chapter 11: Fall of Chapter Eleven. A commentary for Three.

General CW for the whole thing: parental abuse, internalised dehumanisation as a trauma response. Three’s not doing well.

Specific CW for this chapter: bad self care/mental breakdown

Game 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

Game 2

Chapter 0 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 10

Alternatively, read on Google Docs here

***

LOADING PANIC MODE…

DO YOU REALIZE THE AUDITORS HAVE THE POWER TO REMOVE THIS SCHOOL FROM ITS STANDING OUTSIDE OF REALITY?! WE'D NEVER SURVIVE! AAAAAAUGH!

Well. Yes. That’s the thing Three’s been trying desperately not to think about this whole year, the reason they need the Academy to keep it’s accreditation. The lessons are valuable, the buildings are incredible, but they could stand to lose all of that. They don’t know that they could stand to lose DarkBoard.

The day of the tenure evaluation, you're summoned during lunch hour to the School Head's office—the real one, not the decoy used for the house challenge. Select members of the senior faculty are seated around a semi-circular marble table, before which stand the three candidates for a permanent position with the Grand Academy for Future Villains: your mother, her hair gone entirely white but splendidly dressed in flame-colored robes, Professor Ulik, in a well-tailored business suit, and Professor Fen, looking like their usual self (selves?) in—or possibly consisting of—a tall heap of sodden mouldering fabric. In the shadows behind them stand Lord X and Ms. Goul, and you feel the dry tickle in your throat that means the Voice in the Void is present for the proceedings as well. 

"Don't think we've forgotten about you," you say to yourself, and cough as you realize it's the Voice in the Void speaking through you again. You close your hand on the envelope in your pocket, grateful that it doesn't seem to be able to read minds. What happened to Val? you wonder. But there's no sign on the impassive faces of the auditors.

With an electrical buzzing, the School Head appears over the semi-circular table. You can see each of the contending professors grow focused and alert as it begins to speak.

It gives a long speech in its usual vein about the importance of the Academy, and the importance of the faculty to the Academy, and the personal contributions of each of the candidates standing before it. 

"We have three exceptional candidates for a single permanent faculty position this year," intones the Head, "of which one will be selected and the other two discarded in disgrace like the vermin they are. Let us consider each of them in turn. Professor Maedryn is an Academy alumna from the Science Fiction house, a conqueror of multiple worlds in her own narrative, and the parent of a current student you all have reason to be familiar with—Three. She is the central intelligence that commands the maintenance staff, the Faculty Sponsor for Science Fiction, and the current acting head of the Evil Genius department. She is also historically a substantial contributor to the Academy's operating fund."

Your mother smiles, nodding slightly to the other faculty members.

"Professor Fen is a graduate student who has been working toward a doctorate in Cosmic Horror since before earthly measurements of time were conceived or devised. Fen has served as a lab assistant to previous Evil Genius faculty members, and…" The Head seems at a loss to say anything else definitive about Fen. "And would be very cheap to maintain. If Fen is not selected for a permanent faculty position, Fen may continue indefinitely as a lab assistant, or may crawl down into the dungeons for lurking purposes."

Fen wobbles.

"Finally, Professor Ulik has numerous high-profile evil architecture design-build projects under her belt. She is the Faculty Sponsor for Thriller and is the project manager for the current landscape redesign on the Academy quad. She participated in the internal disturbances last year, and has been demonstrating her complete contrition and re-education over the course of this year."

Ulik bows briefly from the waist.

"In consultation with the senior members of the Academy faculty, the members of the Board of Visitors and Overlords, and the composite intelligence of DarkBoard, we are now ready to announce our decision."

Three very much would like to think the auditors have forgotten them. Why haven’t the auditors forgotten them? All they’ve been doing is standing in the background while Ulik impresses the auditors, and giving a mediocre performance in the genre tournament. They don’t even have perfect grades any more! If there was a positive side to their grades slipping, it should be that Three is now completely unnoticeable. This has to be Val’s fault. Did Val tell the auditors they made Three the Academy’s fatal weakness? And why? Three doesn’t matter! Why does anyone imagine they matter at all?

Onto the tenure candidates. Three is glad that the Head does not seem to place much value on having Fen as a tenured professor, but also that they’ll be allowed to remain here even without tenure. They feel a lot of sympathy for Fen and would prefer that helping Ulik didn’t mean potentially hurting them. 

The competition really seems to be between Maedryn and Ulik though, and they both have more to lose if they fail. Three doesn’t want to imagine the consequences of Maedryn’s wrath if that happens--either for the Academy or for themself, personally. Ulik will lose at least her job, and quite likely her life, too. Three is relieved the Head makes no mention of dismemberment, though.They hope, desperately, that even if she doesn’t receive tenure, Ulik will have proven her loyalty enough to avoid that.

As for Ulik’s complete contrition and re-education… it’s not as though Three and Ulik talk about the rebel college, or anti-heroism, or the fact that Professor Mortwain’s still suspended in the courtyard, but they’re still not entirely sure Ulik is all that contrite or re-educated. What they are sure about is that Ulik is smart and practical, that people sometimes go along with all sorts of things they don’t agree with to protect themselves, and that a lot of villains are egotistical enough not to notice the difference between that and genuine agreement.

"Professor Ulik, congratulations."

The smile of pleasure that lights Professor Ulik's face makes you almost smile yourself to see it.

"And congratulations are also due to Three, Ulik's teaching assistant this year, whom we have with us today. Your master has ascended, young student, and you will ascend with her."

Three has learnt to be very good at keeping their face blank, but this is certainly a time they struggle with that. Smiling that Ulik received tenure while Maedryn is present is completely out of the question, but they are internally delighted. For a moment, at least, before remembering they will now have to deal with Maedryn’s reaction.

That's the kind of laugh that even other villains know to back away from. Ulik is already inching toward the shelter of the marble table. You can't see Fen at all.

"Tenure!" Your mother's laughter lasts a full minute and a half. She reaches up to her head, and without even wincing, rips out the shiny metal cortical amplifier that had been embedded in her skull. She tosses it into a corner. "Well that means I won't be needing that any more, will I."

From the halls outside you hear a strange sound. Thudding. Clattering. Your mother's newly mindless maintenance staff dropping their tools. But Professor Maedryn turns to you, green fire kindling in her eyes. "And…I think you've made it quite clear I won't be needing you."

She advances toward you, a wild and deadly rage written on her face. You recognize a villainous breakdown when you see it.

Three knows Maedryn better than maybe anyone, but they’ve never seen her like this before. She’s destroyed planets in fits of fury, but she’s always retained control over herself. Even with how concerned they were getting about her, even though they and Sona kept having to remind her to sleep and eat, it never really occurred to them that Maedryn was capable of just… breaking down. It terrifies them. Not just because they’re in genuine danger from her now, and for once she doesn’t have a use for them, but because their entire worldview is based around the single truth that Maedryn has complete control over them. And if Maedryn’s not in control, where does that leave Three?

I struggled with Three’s decision here. When Maedryn threatens you, you can call your teacher for help, and if you have over 60% on the tenure track (which Three does), they defend you. And die for you. It would be narratively fitting to have Three’s mentor die at the start of the final act. There’s some lovely symbolism to be found in Three’s mother figure defending them from their actual mother. But I’m still hoping we’ll have two more games/years of plot, and if that’s the case, I feel it might be better to kill Ulik (or at least tease killing her, I’m not sure how willing I am to actually go through with it) later down the line, when Three is closer to being a full-blown hero. I might go back and change this decision in future. It depends on what works best with what a third and fourth game give us. Or if I plan out an imaginary third and fourth game. Or if I plan out a longer, more final ending to the second one. 

In any case, Three just falls into begging and grovelling and reminding Maedryn how very useful they can be, sounding far more panicky than they would really like. They think it’s working. They don’t know for sure, since Professor Gk brings down the ceiling to contain Maedryn. Three… is not entirely sure where to go from here.

Ms. Goul and Lord X are sitting by themselves in the Faculty Lounge when you arrive. There's no one else in the room. Is this the interview that you were warned about? Where is Val?

"Three. Please sit down."

There's nowhere to sit; all the chairs were removed and the three auditors are occupying the only two spots on the sofa and a nebulous position in the school's collective subconscious. The auditors are taunting you. This can't be a good sign.

You remain standing. With an effort of will, you keep from touching the letter in your pocket.

"Before we take the results of our deliberations to the whole Academy," says Ms. Goul, pressing her fingertips together, "we thought you should witness the full power of the auditing committee of the Board of Visitors and Overlords."

So the final auditor has arrived! But where—

"Our fourth member." Lord X waves a hand at the bookshelf-covered wall. It begins to revolve, and through the door walks a familiar figure. 

At first you can hardly believe it.

Three absolutely does not remain standing. They were given an order, and are not going to disobey the most powerful people imaginable. My first thought was that they sit on the floor, but thinking about it further? They kneel. They want to show obedience and subservience, that they are not a threat and that they acknowledge the auditors as far greater than them. It’s also a versatile position from which they can easily spring up, or roll out of the way, if needed.

As for the fourth auditor… I mean, in-game, I get Val, but out of the two options, one of them just works much better.

Phil?!

"Three, you old sinner! They told you'd been messing about with the muckety-mucks and I didn't believe it!" Your old friend slaps you on the back, ruffles your hair, punches you in the arm hard enough to hurt. 

"Phil? But how—I thought you—"

"Expelled from the Academy with extreme prejudice? Oh to be sure, to be sure. But you know me." Phil flashes a winning smile, the smile that had seen him through three years of determined slacking at the Academy. "People like me, we only fall up."

You'd known Phil's family was powerful. But powerful enough to ensure Phil a spot on the Board of Visitors and Overlords?

"I'm more a visitor than an overlord," Phil admits, perching on the arm of the chair and putting an incongruous arm around Lord X. "Very junior member, of course, but they thought I might have some specific expertise in this matter. I told them I'd only taken the position because I'd been told there was no work whatever involved, so I'm very displeased about it all. But hey, I got to see you! And no hard feelings about the heartless betrayal. It was the easiest thing to do, in your position, and I don't blame you for it at all."

Three is surprised, and relieved, and delighted enough to see Phil that they don’t even tell him not to touch their hair. They aren’t sure whether they believe there are no hard feelings. With anyone else, they wouldn’t. With Phil, it could easily be true. Either way worries them.

Ms. Goul coughs and sets three massive binders on the coffee table.

"We've been conferring on the question of the continuing accreditation of the Grand Academy for Future Villains. We are currently divided. I say the state of the management and educational standards at the school does not merit our accreditation of the body. Lord X says it does. And the Voice in the Void says—"

Phil's mouth falls open and a blast of white noise pours out.

"Yes, thank you, Voice," continues Ms. Goul, "but this is hardly conducive to resolving our debate. It comes down to Phil. I know you'll want to make a careful review of the evidence that we've assembled over the course of year in order to determine whether the Board of Visitors and Overlords can extend recognition to—"

"No," Phil says.

Well. That wasn’t entirely unexpected. Nor can Three entirely blame him, after the events at the start of the year. Back then, seeing Phil flung out of the Academy had inspired Three to take initiative and put themself at risk to protect Ulik, whatever the danger. And now he’s back, and his decision could cost DarkBoard their life. And whatever the danger, Three will not let that happen.

#I hold the Academy's fatal weakness. I am the Academy's fatal weakness. I invite them to reconsider their decision.

[hirakdesherrani]

Why I love Shrenu Parikh as GKS?!?

Had posted this on Indiaforums two days back on occasion of Shrenu’s birthday. Thanks to @sitaaronkepaar, my Saathiya in the Tumblr world, for suggesting me to post it here as well. <3

Playing the character of Gauri is very difficult because it's very easy to dismiss Gauri as a typical, sanskaari' character without any substance. The only reason why the audience understands Gauri's motivations is because of how Shrenu plays her, and literally elevates the inconsistent and patchy script, to make Gauri likable. Here are some of the scenes which I loved:

1.    The breakup scene

This has to be the best scene written for Gauri till date. First off, credit goes to the scriptwriters and directors, because this scene was scripted and directed really well. Coming to Shrenu's performance, it's no secret that emotional scenes are Shrenu's forte. The sequence was aired in two parts. In the first part, the focus was more on Om. However, there were little things that I noticed in this scene. There is this tiny movement where Gauri touches her ear as if she can't bear to listen to what Om is saying. These slight movements do make a difference to the whole scene because it shows just how hurtful Om's words are, that Gauri is not able to bear them anymore and also can't believe what is happening. Shrenu always does these small movements, which add depth to the scene. The closing shot of the first scene where Om stomps out, the camera focuses on Gauri's face, and Shrenu clearly portrays Gauri's rage, disgust, and how she is done with the accusations.

Act 2 of the break-up scene focuses completely on Gauri. Here, as expected Shrenu excels. The whole confession scene has been praised enough for how Shrenu conveyed her feelings in English as a person who has newly learnt the language and made the diction believable. Again the small movements are important here as well, how Gauri pulls up Om's face to look at the proofs she's throwing at him, how Gauri shows her frustration by slightly stomping her feet, and the physical uneasiness displayed to show the contained rage and disappointment; Shrenu got it all correct.

Coming to expressions, there was everything from disappointment, rage, hurt, love, frustration, and a feeling of finality that she is done with everything. I don't need to go into more detail about how Shrenu portrayed all the emotions and switched effortlessly to make it a superlative performance.

The fact that this whole sequence was shot while she was still recovering from dengue shows how much of an experienced and nuanced performer she is.

2.    Thakurain Gauri

Though of course the break-up scene was the most powerful scene written for Gauri, my favorite scene in terms of Shrenu's acting prowess remains Thakurain Gauri. Shrenu was marvelous in this scene. First things first, what I immediately noticed was the voice modulation. I feel Shrenu tweaked her voice a bit, to make it sound more mature. Also, the authoritative tone can't be missed. Right from where she enters, and comments on who's making so much noise, there is a change in her voice.

Major part of this scene was portrayed through Shrenu's eyes. She did a perfect job of getting the arrogance and mockery just right for Thakurain. Thakurain Gauri had a commanding presence, and Shrenu was actually given heavier eye make up and heavier clothes to justify that. Of course, her acting had a lot of weight, which is why it did not look out of place when Om actually followed her command and agreed for the tika.

I loved how Shrenu switched really fast between Thakurain Gauri who mocked Omkara as opposed to Gauri who was scared for Omkara as well as herself. When Om mentions Chulbul, Shrenu actually conveys Gauri's pain and somewhat pride at their friendship only through her eyes, because at the mention of Chulbul her gaze softens. That one second eye movement, is difficult to miss and yet too quick. Shrenu superbly did it.

Shrenu had to show a lot of restraint as Thakurain Gauri who is cold and completely opposite to Gauri in nature. Also, in the scene where Om manhandles Gauri, Shrenu had to portray dual fear: Thakurain Gauri's fear that Om is getting violent so this fear had to be superficial and materialistic fitting into Thakurain Gauri's personality as someone who only cares for herself, and Gauri's fear that Om hates her so much and she might get him into more trouble.

I think through this scene Shrenu proved her potential to take up a negative role in future or even the role of a matriarch who lords over everyone else. Shrenu was brilliant in this scene.

3.    Dangal scene

Again in this sequence, the direction was flawless and needs to be complimented. This scene saw Shrenu portraying a different aspect of Gauri, which can be dubbed as cold rage. Thankfully, the script was crisp and did not demand any over-the-top dialogues, which would have ruined the effect. Shrenu gave a pretty measured performance in this scene, where Gauri's rage can be felt but its more calm in the sense that she is trying to prove a point.

As an actress, Shrenu needs to be commended for doing something rarely done in Indian television. Also, this was a greater challenge for her as she is petite for this kind of sequence. Again the action director needs to be congratulated for getting the action moves just right to make the scene believable.

Shrenu had to act in a way to make her screen presence feel weightier as she crossed off with a wrestler. This she managed to do pretty well as her expressions was calculative as well exuding confidence. Also, the last moment where Gauri is cornered and struggling, was done really well.

4.    Rage scenes

Starting with the second episode itself, i.e. the bulldozer scene, which is a favorite of many. One peculiar trait of Gauri is how the tears flow out when she is angry, and Shrenu mastered that really well. The "aansu nahi angaarey hain line fits perfectly here. Again, Shrenu portrays the anger through her eyes. The expression "eyes blazing” literally fits the bill for Shrenu in those scenes. When she bulldozes over Om's car, and the expression of contentment after the job is well done, which is equivalent to letting out all the anger, is pretty subtly portrayed by Shrenu.

Other scenes where I noticed the expressions of rage were in Gauri's confrontations with Kali. An example is one Kali is pulling her to the mandap the second time and she has a broken bottle in hand, there is an expression of calculated rage and determination, which makes the whole scene believable. It's difficult to portray a puny woman getting better of a villainous character without any defense skill sets, but Shrenu brings a certain heavy presence to her acting in those scenes, which make it not only believable and highly enjoyable to watch.

5.    Emotional scenes

There are several other scenes, which I liked a lot, but a blow-by-blow analysis will make it repetitive. One of the most powerful scenes we got to see recently was Omkara's confession. The best shot of Shrenu in that scene is when Gauri laughs off Omkara's sudden reminder that she is married to him. Shrenu's immediate change of expression from mirthless, hysterical laughter to rage, and how she punctuated that rage by shoving Omkara away, was very well done. Throughout this scene, there was specific emphasis on particular words and in general the intonation of dialogues in that scene was very well done. Scenes like the Goodbye scene in the staircase, both the exhibition scenes where in the first one she meets Om after leaving and flees and the second one where the fiasco happened, the Finale scene of DBO, the confrontation after the inspiration scene, the scene where Gauri is asking about the princess' future while Om is narrating a story to Pari, etc were beautifully done, and Shrenu's acting is so heartbreaking, that I literally needed to brave up myself to watch it. Shrenu always gets it right balance between over-the-top (TRP-audience-pleasing) crying and bawling. The slight gulping or reaching for air or sniffing (with her nose going red) or hesitation, depending on the scene, adds to the quality of the scenes. I've said this before, but Shrenu cries beautifully and emotional scenes are her forte.

6.    Chulbul track

Coming to something that I've seen on Indian TV after a long time, the infamous or famous (depending on who's watching) Chulbul track.  The thing with cross-dressing plot is that it can go horribly wrong. The audience knows it's a girl, so the trick is not how to make it believable (because the suspension of belief is already at work), but how to make it funny without making people cringe. I liked how Shrenu portrayed the dichotomy of two characters. Chulbul's awkward gait, hand gestures, and overall personality were very well done. The point here was not only to make it look comic for a girl pretending to be a boy, but also to keep in mind that its small town girl with traditional values, who is impersonating a boy, so Chulbul had to be extra shy. Shrenu caught that bit really well. There were quite a few funny scenes in this track but some of my favorites were the one night stand scene, the leaf skirt scene, and the "hum chirota nahi, chiraiyaa hai” bit. I just wish the track wasn't stretched so much, and we had more funny moments. As an actor I think, Shrenu pulled off this track pretty well.

7.    Comic timing

One cannot end this post without mentioning Shrenu's excellent comic timing. Every comic scene is like perfection itself. The best part about the comic scenes is Shrenu's expressions. She is without doubt the expression queen in the entire IB cast. She manages the balance with over-the-top comic antics and understated comedy so effortlessly. Whether it's the ‘bhooot' in the car or the ‘bhaujaaiii' in the motorbike, Shrenu's expressions are unbeatable. Also, the whole bhang ladoo scene, and the expressions which she is making, what is even her face! Also, the scenes where Shrenu has to emote expressions when Gauri is talking in her mind, like the scene with Ragini, or in the car with Om, those scenes were superbly done. Just the right amount of drama for the television screen without making it over-the-top.

Finally, though IB/DBO is not really a dramatic serial on par with others, Shrenu, at least, got to portray the most varied shades of a character on this show, for which as a fan, I'm grateful, because I got to see her superlative performance.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Log #159

“The Candy Dragon, Steve’s Secret”

[Doc] Is anyone too messed up to walk? I can carry if need be.

[liu] -gets up to follow doc to the castle-

[Smile] Tail wagging carries Grinny out-

[Doc] Is just pacing along. It's a lovely day out, after all.

[TLOT] Hey Liu? Check this out. - He opens his inventory and lets out a couple of colorful flitters that orbit then lazily

[liu] butterflies?

[Doc] Sort of. TLOT makes them from bits of flower petals.

[TLOT] Grins

[liu] they are very pretty.

[Steve] Show-off. You're not the only one that can do that you know. - He knocks on his helm and a couple of touchies crawl out of the eye and nostril holes on his skull helm and follow him.

[Lie] - There are a few honesty ones too

[CP] - Little flying fuckers

[TLOT] Thank you Liu. If I make them out of Lie's flowers they can do magick just like the flowers they came from too.

[Lie] - CP be nice

[Doc] You could make a sobering flitter to hang around Gk...

[Steve] Okay, even I think that's not nice.

[Lie] - I'm not even sure how that would work.  Sobering flowers have to be eaten to work...

[TLOT] Yeah, don't eat my flitters. Just in general...

[Steve] I pity anyone who would try to eat a touchie.

[Flux] - They are full of their own magic...

[Doc] musing-  I wonder how Lj is faring.

[Steve] At Flux- Well... they also can pinch. They'd do some nasty damage the minute you closed your mouth and any other members of the swarm would also attack.

[Flux] - Yes but they are capable of creating

[TLOT] Oh yes. I love their syrup and wine, they're one of my favorite creations.

[CP] - FUCK THAT WINE!

[TLOT] You can't deny it tastes good Cp!

[CP] - FUCK YOU!

[Notch] The syrups good on pancakes too.

[Lie] Just sighs at her husbands actions-

[Shuppet] is close to the back of Cp's head right now and looking quite satisfied.

[Doc] Freezes as there's some odd rocking inside hir inventory, with a gasp they pull the green speckled egg out.

[TLOT] excited- Is it ready? Yours took forever to hatch!

[Doc] I think so. -The egg is rocking and clicking and xe sits down on the ground and puts the egg in front of hir on the grass.

-A bit of shell falls off and there's no accompanying spurt of fluid.-

[TLOT] This one is dry! We have to help! - He and Steve and Doc begin frantically pulling bits of shell away until the dragon practically explodes out of the egg like a spring snake from a fake peanut can.

[Doc] Whoah! This one is big!

-The dragons body is almost as thick as Doc's arm and several times longer. They coil in the grass and pant, looking around and blinking in confusion.

[Doc] Hey little buddy, welcome to life. Sorry this world isn't as candy- filled as the one you came from. But I'll make up for it.

[liu] it looks like it is made of candy that's to cool.

[CP] Glances back- I think Endrea is in the library if you want to feed it

[Doc] Guess I'm not going home just yet... - turns back down the road.

[CP] Keeps heading for his own home-

[Notch] is a little torn but chooses to go with Cp and Stevie.

[Stevie] - Bye bye little funny dragon!

[liu] i'll follow you doc.

[Doc] Cradles the baby- thank you

[Endrea] Is watching Willow and Oak while Ashe reads-

[Lie] - I'll head home as well Doc, good luck with the new baby

[willow and oak] -are trying to gum on books-

[Endrea] Gently pulls them away from the books- That's enough, you know better

[TLOT and Steve] Opens the double doors for Doc and the others - Endrea? You know that instant bonding thing? I think I get it now.

[Endrea] Tilts her head curiously- What do you mean?

[willow and oak] -go over to tlot-

[Steve] excited - the one from the candy modded seed finally hatched!

[Endrea] - It has?  How wonderful

[willow and oak] -are sniffing tlots pants-

-The candy dragon huffs a little in Doc's arms-

[Doc] Shhh little sugar, it's okay. These are our dragon friends.

[Endrea] Leans over to sniff the baby-

[TLOT] Leans down to scratch chins and heads on the little dragons.

[Endrea] - Xe certainly has a unique smell...

[Doc] I'm kinda not used to strong smells period, but it reminds me of the candies Lj gave me to experiment with.

[Endrea] Opens her mouth to give a bit of void energy-

-The baby dragon spazzes and struggles to get away-

[Doc] Whoah! It's okay! Maybe Xe thinks you're trying to eat hir?

[Steve] void energy smells weird too.

[Endrea] - I don't know...

[liu] the poor thing.

[Doc] They're all a little different. This one came from a very heavily modded seed after all.

[Endrea] - Then theres is a chance that it doesn't feed on void energy

[Doc] I wonder if offering hir candy would be right? Or weird considering they seem to be made out of the stuff already.

[Endrea] - I cannot say

-The baby tries climbing out of Doc's arms again-

[Doc] snuggles the baby dragon- oh no, you stay with me. You can play with... With your... Cousins when you're bigger!

[Endrea] Chuckles a little while Ashe finally looks up from his book-

[Doc] Hey Ashe, wanna see the servers newest member?

[Ashe] - Okay- He carefully puts his book down and walks over

[Doc] The last egg I was walking finally hatched!

[willow and oak] -are trying to climb doc to see the new dragon better but aren't getting higher then hir knees-

[Ashe] Moves closer to investigate-

[Doc] moves so Willow and Oak can see but not reach. - be careful, little sugar here is a newborn.

[Endrea] - Is that going to be it's name?

[Doc] No, just a pet name for the moment. I didn't have anything thought out because I had no idea what they'd look like and I was starting to fear that egg might be a dud

-The baby wants to get closer to the other babies-

[Doc] Okay! Okay! But I'm supervising. You guys play nice. - Xe sits on the floor

[willow and oak] -sniff the new dragon-

-The new baby sniffs back-

[Steve] is just watching Doc and beaming, he turns to Deerheart and whispers- I haven't seen Doc make that face in a very long time

[Deer] - I don't think I've ever seen it

[Steve] I've seen a similar face when they thought you or the server was in danger, right before the rage snapped down like a mask. Understand that while Doc did have children, they were made with a lot already in place. They came into the world nearly teenagers.

[Deer] - I see, so this time they're starting from the beginning...

[Steve] Yes, and everything that was tarnished with pain and loss is suddenly shiny and new again.

[Deer] Giggles a little-

[willow and oak] -nuzzle the new dragon-

-The new dragon squeaks and jumps around a little-

[TLOT] is happily watching the babies play. He meets Steves eyes and the rough miner blushes sweetly.

[Doc] whispers - so glad you're a healthy baby, now I just have to figure out what you need next...

[Endrea] Hears Doc- I think they need at least a name next

[Doc] Deerheart, come socialize a bit. They should know you as well as me.

[Deer] Kneels down amongst the babies-

[TLOT] Notices something- they don't have any wings at all..

[willow and oak]- climb on deer a little-

[Deer] Pets the babies- Hello little ones-

[Doc] I saw... I'll think of something. But for now they'll be riding on me anyway so it's alright.

[willow and oak] -makes happy noise at the pets-

-The baby dragon rolls around, rubbing it's body against the wood floor of the library-

[Endrea] - I know GK will look forwards to babysitting more babies

[TLOT] I may call dibs on part of the babysitting duites.

[Doc] I think... I'll keep this one close to me...

[Endrea] Hums in understanding- If you need any help, let me know

[Doc] Sneaks a hand closer to Deerheart and clasps her fingers lightly.  - Perhaps Yuanfen would be right for this one. Something to bring my love and I even closer.

[Deer] - That sounds beautiful

[Yaunfen] Squeaks and tilts it's head as it looks at Doc in interest-

[liu] -pets the candy dragon's head softly-

[Doc] Do you like that little one? My sweet little Yaunfen? Ah...

[Yaunfen] Is surprised and falls over from the pet-

[Doc] Looks at Liu. - I know you're unhappy because of your brother, but are you at least glad I brought you here?

[liu] yea it's nice and peaceful and lots of great people

[Doc] Good. I'm glad. Thanks for watching over Smile especially. I know he likes you. I think it might make it easier for me to get through to Grinny eventually.

[liu] he doesn't seem to like me either

[Endrea] Gathers Willow close and starts cleaning her-

[willow] -squeaks-

[TLOT] He has good reason to mistrust humans.

[Steve] Leans over a bit - what'cha reading Ashe?

[Ashe] - A book about pirates!

[Steve] Reads over his shoulder a bit. - I.. should, really do more reading myself...

[TLOT] Seconded. Mining isn't everything, you know?

[Steve] It's still important!

[Endrea] Flips Willow over-

[Yaunfen] Whines a little and looks at Steve-

[Steve] jokingly-  See! They agree with me!

[Yaunfen] Toddles closer to Steve-

[Steve] Aww, you want a hug? - Leans over to pet the little dragon.

[Doc] Is watching very closely.

[Yaunfen] Starts gumming on the armor-

[Steve] Just stares- Honestly... WHY?

[Ashe] - Oh yeah!  The red thing in your boot!

[Steve] Goes very pale - Whaaa.. no! It's nothing!

[TLOT] ...

[Ashe] - But it's really bright...

[Steve] It's just my shoes, they can't possibly see into my boot from that angle!

[Ashe] - But I saw it...

[Steve] Makes a whining noise.

[TLOT] It's okay my lamb, baby dragons just like to gum things.

[Yaunfen] Wraps around Steve's leg as they gum-

[Steve] Meeeeh

[Flux] Having silently followed- I can feel something off about your one foot...

[TLOT] It's nothing....honestly....

[Flux] - But there is something wrong, correct?

[TLOT] Is obviously uncomfortable. - We don't like to....

[Steve] Please don't...

[Deer] Is looking in confusion as she holds Oak-

[Flux] - But perhaps there is a chance I could fix it

[Doc] What is it TLOT... you know you can tell me anything.

[Steve] Please.... I don't think that's a good idea...

[TLOT] Looks down in shame.

[Flux] - What is there to be ashamed of?

[TLOT] small voice- Because it was my fault.

[Deer] - Whatever it is, it can't be so horrible.  We know you'd never do anything bad to Steve on purpose

[Steve] It was an accident. I....

[TLOT] My lamb-

[Steve] I'm also glitched.

[Doc] Steve! Why didn't you tell me?

[Deer] - How badly?

[Steve] I can... walk in lava. It kinda hurts, but I won't die.

[Doc] But you don't have the eyes.

[Ashe] - THAT'S AWESOME!

[TLOT] Is startled-

[Ashe] - Even Mama can't do that!

[Steve] I have a small color error. It's why you guys never see me without my armored boots unless I'm barefoot.

[Ashe] - Is that the red thing?

[Doc] So you didn't want it fixed because it gives you some protection?

[Steve] ...yes.

[Doc] Come on Steve, let me see.

[Ashe] - I wanna see it!

[Endrea] - Ashe that's enough

[TLOT] Only if you want to my lamb.

[Steve] I might as well, we're already in the best protected server in the multiverse. - sits down and pulls on his boot. Under the diamond gleam is one incredibly red shoe.

[TLOT] No matter how many times I fix it, it always turns red again.

[Flux] Looks at it curiously-

[TLOT] Even replacing it with a different color shoe doesn't work.

[Endrea] - I see no reason to be ashamed of something so minor.  It simply makes you an even more unique Steve

[Steve] ....

[TLOT] We're worried about him becoming a target because he's glitched. Apart from being resistant to fire, he doesn't have any special powers like a brine does to defend himself with.

[Endrea] - But as he said earlier, this is the safest place you know, so why fear that here?

[TLOT] Because it's my shame to bear Endrea! I dragged him halfway across our seed on the word of Jeb to look for something that turned out to be a trap and nearly got us both killed. Is that a thing you'd like to have well known?

[Endrea] - It would only have mattered if you had failed to survive

[Steve] Especially now that we know Jeb isn't as divine as he made us believe, he isn't even a nice person.

[TLOT] Thumbs at Doc- I think they're the only reason we did survive! I couldn't seed hop, I didn't even know other seeds existed! Doc pulled us out of there... Hid us away... For that I'm eternally grateful.

[Doc] Thank you, to both of you. The first friends I ever had.

[Flux] - This glitch of yours Steve, it's full of your mates power.  You marked him, and this is how he marked you

[Steve] And that is my shame... He's lucky I didn't bite his hand completely off...

[Endrea] - I don't think you could have

[Steve] I was out of my head with so much pain at the time...

[Doc] I would have made him a new one.

[Endrea] - I repeat, I don't think you could have.  Even with your mind filled with pain and rage, you could not have harmed him.  I saw the same thing when my brine was fueled by anger and the only thing nearby was his future mate.  He hurt her so badly, but never to the point of permanent damage

[TLOT] We actually don't know what the full mental limits are on humans vs brines, we've never actually met another bonded pair of our type. Cp and Lie weren't married until after Lie was made a brine, and Deerheart isn't technically human.

[Flux] - I believe Endrea is right, you two were bonded from the start, even if you didn't realize it.  I don't believe he could have caused you more harm

[Steve] I am part of him after all, my hearts came from his chest.

[Endrea] Hums in approval before finishing up with Willow and reaching over to grab Oak for his bath-

[Ashe] - I like your red shoe

[Doc] it's a literal hot foot

[vishwaspur]

You know people who have seen IB from the beginning are crazy about Omkara. I saw a few episodes just to see whats the hype about, but er, I still don't get it. Anyways, I tried to ignore my love for GKS and have a neutral opinion about Om, but he's still kinda okay only. Do you like the character of Omkara, Mais? Like individually? Or do you like him only because he is Queenie's jodidaar?

I’m sure I have said this before but the biggest draw towards Omkara for me personally is Kunal playing him. Is Omkara Singh Oberoi one of my fav tellywood characters? I don’t think so. And I’d solely blame the writers for that. The foundation of Omkara is very strong but he has been brutally used for convenience for others instead of being explored as an individual. I most definitely wouldn’t call him an “okay” character because there’s so much conflict within him which do make him a hatke character. I’ll just talk about the initial episodes of IB and try to answer you why there has always been a craze for him. 

Usually in Indian dramas the child of a toxic marriage/broken family is portrayed as either a selfish brat or this dark broody guy who seeks out revenge from the world in any way he gets. Omkara is neither. Unlike the other characters which fit his basic character description, Omkara internalizes all of his pain. He doesn’t lash out at anyone just as a way of dealing with his issues. Except his father, Omkara is genuinely soft and caring towards all of his family members. He is the maturest of all the brothers. He is the one who prioritizes careful thought over prompt action. He is the shayar, the artist; he stands out in his baggy pants and long hair. He is GENUINELY the only character who has all the right reasons to be the typical asshole-towards-everyone wala guy because of his history but we see him acting anything BUT like that. He is understanding and caring and someone who values a person as an individual first. 

But on the other hand, we see him as someone with so much rage inside of him that when probed too much..he is someone who can even raise his hand at the man he shares his most DNA with. He is someone who has both extreme love and extreme hatred within him. And he is constantly balancing the two because he has been raised in a house where the man he hates and the men he loves live together. All of it can be too much for a person to bear and we are told that even Omkara couldn’t handle all of that. He succumbed to drug abuse just to be able to deal with the weight of the hand life played him.

The Omkara we are introduced to is someone who has locked most of his demons away. He has recovered from his addiction. He is a successful artist with name and fame that is earned completely by him. But what of before? What was his dark phase like? And is it really over? The way Omkara was shown in the beginning, he just stood out as the most fascinating character in the way his personal darkness used to seep in the moments where he was provoked. The man who had all the wisdom for others, the man who was always ready to fix the messy tangles of his brother’s emotions...when it came to his own self, Omkara had no answers. He only had forms of escape. There was this one exchange he had with Ishaana where they say, “Zakham sabko dikh jaate hain, dard kisi ko nahin dikhta” or something of the essence and that’s really what Omkara was all about. Everything about him was so internalized that a huge chunk of audience just became interested in what his story was going to be about. 

This I have said many times, Omkara isn’t a character which can be properly explored in an ensemble show. His issues and layers as a character deserve a complete story where he is at the center of the things. Something which IB/DBO never gave him. The craze for Omkara isn’t just because of who he is, but what he could’ve been cuz the issues that were hinted he had were something that haven’t been shown in a mainstream male character before. Shivaay only had one issue of Naam, Khoon, Khandaan and the show dragged that for 350 episodes to give it an end. Omkara toh had way more issues than that. He had trust issues, commitment issues, his own hypocrisy...these things have never been addressed the way they deserved to be. There’s this whole angle of “an abuser’s child is more likely to be an abuser himself” with Omkara as well. Can a person who has seen the WORST of marriages while growing up really be 100% sure of not being affected by it?

 Omkara Singh Oberoi came with all these interesting questions which were mostly suited to a dark, mysterious type character. But then Omkara Singh Oberoi was set up as a character who was the most positive of the lot because of his maturity in handling situations. He came with many intriguing contrasts. More than enough for anyone to be completely lured in by his character. Sucks ke he just wasn’t explored consistently and carefully the way he demanded to. Had that been done..Omkara Singh Oberoi definitely would’ve made it to the list of my Favorite and Unforgettable Characters cuz daayyummm!!! Making a character study out of him would’ve been stuff of dreams!!

As of now..toh yeah, I like him enough. Mostly as Gauri’s “jodidaar” cuz he just hasn’t been explored enough as an individual for me to care about him like that. Since DBO he has always in a position where he is either affecting or reacting to Gauri. His personal sphere has practically been non-existence. Gauri phir has the luxury of having her own life to an extent which makes her a more memorable character. All my favorite characters have an individual journey which doesn’t rely solely on their jodidaar’s existence. Gauri has that. Omkara doesn’t. 

[goldenkamuyhunting]

1534 Nendoroid Hyakunosuke Ogata is finally available!

So, since Goodsmile finally made him available for preorder, let me ramble a bit about him (and how to preorder him).

Yeah, I know I already did it for the prototype but a little more can’t hurt.

Warning, I’m gonna use the images that are on the Goodsmile site page for him... but also the ones on Kahotan’s Japanese blog because they capture him better.

So let’s start by seeing him in full colour.

The colouring is not bad, we were already familiar with this pose as it was used for the prototype as well so I won’t really comment much on it. I’m not sure why they’ve chosen the ‘standard expression’ instead than the grinning one for this photo as he actually was grinning in the image that inspired this but whatever, the grinning expression is included and that’s all that matters.

We can see an improvement in the definitive version, which is that his eyebrows are drawn in manga style (we can see many lines form them) and not in anime style (were they’re made with a single, large stroke).

This was something I know many fans has requested so I’m glad Goodsmile listened them... even though they declare that their official inspiration is his anime version.

They also added lines below his eyes so I’ll say they’ve tried their best in reproducing his expression.

Kahotan’s blog allows us to see him from behind as well.

I love how they had drawn some rebellious strands of hair and hadn’t made them all slicked up, and his little hood is very cute.

It’s a pity it can’t be pulled up though but this would require three more additional pieces and it’s kind of clear Goodsmile wasn’t that invested in his cape as we can see in the images only one version of it.

Why this is relevant?

Because the right side of it is pulled up to allow Ogata to move his arm while the other is kept lowered. In hindsight probably it was better to include a cloth cape instead than a plastic one as I think this could limit Ogata’s mobility.

I’m not sure if he’ll be able to shoot with his cape on and the difference between the two sides might be too marked if he’ll keep his right arm down.

Oh well, this is something we will be able to judge only when we’ll have him and I understand this was a BIG problem for Goodsmile as they clearly couldn’t give him a dozen of plastic capes and pieces in cloth or in other materials that aren’t plastic are included only in rare occurrences.

The plastic cape is still VERY CUTE.

Okay, going on.

As Nendo’s arms are simply too short it was impossible to reproduce Ogata’s iconic gesture of hair grooming so I think, according to Goodsmile, this is the  compromise they could reach... whcih shows also the grinning face we could see in the prototype.

It’s nowhere near the hair grooming but, as I said, that one was IMPOSSIBLE TO GET so I really apprecciate their attempt to find something that could work as equivalent.

I think this image might give an even better idea of hair grooming (it reminds me of when he did it after Asirpa told him not to shoot the woodcocks), but maybe it’s just me.

This image shows us they also gave him a left hand which can hold the rifle, which is nice.

We continue with something that left me a little perplex, Ogata’s shooting position.

I don’t know if whoever placed him and Kahotan also made a mistake in positioning him... but it seems his right hand is not holding the rifle at all... when Ogata normally does.

It wasn’t something problematic as Nendoroid Tanya Degurechaff can do it just fine.

Even Nendoroid Springfield seems to hold the rifle with her right hand more than him.

Still, it’s possible they just wanted to show that hand. In the initial image there’s a right hand that can hold the rifle, so maybe that’s the trick.

He still looks really cool when shooting.

Goodsmile gave Ogata a butterfly to try to reach. I’ll say even if they said they were taking inspiration from the anime, they definitely have considered the manga as the butterfly scene isn’t in the anime, just in the manga.

LOL, here they would have needed the standard expression and not the grinning one but whatever, Ogata reaching for the butterly is ADOURABLE.

Yes, the butterfly is not very detailed, but keep in mind it will be really, really tiny. You won’t see all the details and it’s a complete new butterfly as the ones included in the “after parts part 2″ set were different

The last image Goodsmile shows us is a very special one as THEY INCLUDED PARTS TO MAKE THE CITATAP SCENE!

I’ve sent requests and pictures for this one so I’m delighted they had included it... which was not an easy feat as it means this Ogata will come with an additional sitting body (in addition to the little wooden stump and knifes) which is really not so common.

I wish I could see his expression better but I still love him.

Overall I think they paid more attention to him than to my poor Nendoroid Asirpa (I made a full review here).

Asirpa came with two more expressions, but despite all her pose being based on her being seated, she didn’t have any sitting part and she came with very few accessories (the hand with the chopsticks, the bown and the spoon with the otter head), she couldn’t hold her knives to make citatap and there was not a single possibility to have her use her bow and arrows, with not even her walking stick being included, although, credits when it’s due, due to the intricate Ainu patterns, she was probably hell to make for Goodsmile as there’s the chance that one had to be handpainted.

Also, her bent arm was a single piece, meaning you couldn’t rotate it, while both Ogata’s arms are two pieces. this makes for a lot more poses.

What worries even more though, is how she’s not being re-released with Nendoroid Ogata. Asirpa was released in 2018/09. Now, when Goodsmile release a new Nendo of a series for which they had already released Nendo, they often re-release them. It’s the case of how Tamaki Iroha gets a new release because they are releasing Nanami Yachiyo.

No re-release might mean my poor Asirpa didn’t really sell well, so Goodsmile either has still some of her old copies or doesn’t feel like investing in her again.

This means we got Nendoroid Ogata merely due to the HUGE amount of requests... and we might not get any other Golden Kamuy Nendoroid unless he sells really well.

Due to this I encourage you all to preorder him, to show Goodsmile an interest in GK Nendo. This not only because the Ogata Nendo is beyond cute but also because only in this way we can hope to get new GK Nendo as well.

How can you do it?

There’s of course, the Goodsmile on line shop. You register and place your oder. You will have to pay additional fees such as import taxes if you’re not residing in Japan.

However preordering in a shop near your home might be important in this period due to the Coronavirus affecting mail services so what can you do?

You can also order at Goodsmile online shop USA if you’re in Canada or in the United States as they don’t ship him out of them.

So what if you don’t live in Japan, USA or Canada?

Many of Goodsmile partner shops allow for pre-order.

You can search for one in your country or close by.

I use and can wholeheartedly recommend the Neko no Koe shop as they always offered me a great service. You can pay after your Nendo reaches their shop and they can send it to you when you’re ready to receive it (which for me is an imperative as there are periods in which I’m not at home and they just hold my Nendo for me without any additional cost and wait to send them until I’m back). They offer their services also to who’s not Italian so you can mail them to ask for info (nekonokoe.shop@gmail.com).

BE VERY WARY if you try to pre-order him from a shop that’s not one of the Goodsmile parters one. I never heard of someone managing to get an Asirpa bootleg and it’s possible they didn’t make them as she wasn’t popular but they’ll know Ogata was ugely requested so yes, chances to find him as a bootleg are higher.

Bootlegs often have a horrible quality (they rage from them being very ugly to their parts not staying together or being missing) but, what’s more, harm the original producer (Goodsmile) and the copyright holders (Geno studio and Noda himself).

I wholeheartedly recommend to stay away form them.