#glitch plays tf2

[gglitchshit]

happy pride

[lucifer-the-fetus-eater]

ok no shit i have a very active imagination but i was taking a nap-ish i mean i was like half-awake/napping for a few hours ok but i had a fuckin feverdream about scrolling through tumblr (wasn't really scrolling through tumblr-- it was a fever dream, but when i have mental images like this it feels very much like i am on my phone.) and came across a post about a tf2 fanfiction about the heavy and medic (i think aging together...? might've not been that but whatever it was--) the medic refused to let them both die so he progressively replaced his own and heavy's bodyparts with machinery until they were basically no longer human and it was called "The Parts we Love" and I vaguely remember the post was fanart but saying it was based on that fanfiction. it was sad too like the fanart my brain made up was almost vivid??? you know????

[v-mos]

simultaneously love and hate building pcs online since I know even a decent one for what I need costs At Least $1200+, and the one I skimped out on by selecting the less expensive parts but still my dream one with a nice themed case and everything comes out to $2000+ shipping included, but I love the idea of having one that good for once so I keep building them and getting disappointed ad infinitum

why do these things gotta cost so much, I just wanna fuck around in blender with more than two models in fucking eevee and play a modern viddy game or two at a consistent fps higher than 15 without resorting to turning the graphics into sludge or breaking the bank so hard it becomes a fucking payday heist ;^;

[emdotcom]

Man. The Herobrine really is summat else. We got:

A glitch of a ghost in the machine that causes every error in the game

The White Eyes character, stemming from a texture error, which becomes associated with the cave noise & eventually leads to the creation of the Herobrine myth

Transgender swag

The fucken. Brocraft stream that links to that ONE image & implies that either you or Herobrine are "asleep" & dreaming

The way that Herobrine myths kicked up due to the TF2 influx, after the devs made mention of the game

Every single unexplained structure in the game, all abandoned, all without a clear group that created them can & will be associated with Herobrine

The mineshafts. The ruined portals. The deep dark. It's kind of like a story, told in three arcs, if you squint right

Like something that used to live there, toiled in the soil along with the worms

Like something that got locked away, that wants to go back

Like something that needs to be kept out

Every single zombie looks like Steve. Does that say anything? Does it imply something about Herobrine, another reflection, but maybe a bit more sentient? With teeth that are a bit more sharp, with a malice that is a bit more cold?

Mojang putting the "Removed Herobrine" note in for YEARS, then one day dropping it, only to bring it back 3 years later

N*tch being scrubbed from the game's lore, so he's also (sometimes) scrubbed from Herobrine's lore, leading to alternate origins

He is the first player. He is the ghost of a fellow player. He is an architect, a miner, a builder. He is a friend to all the mobs, & an enemy to those that take all the trees & never replant the saplings. He is a curious onlooker, probably harmless. He is a deep loathing. He is a danger, a legend, just a myth, but is he?

The way that people's opinions of Herobrine have shifted through years, like a litmus test for Minecraft players as a whole

It starts with the eerie feeling of being in a room you KNOW should be empty, but feeling eyes on you, anyways & ends with a sad type of goodbye, a dreamer seeking a dreamer condemned

The way he's more quiet, more calm, less prone to the griefing & attacks he was once known for, like his fire has cooled with time

The Minecraft end poem. Maybe. Do you think Herobrine ever got to hear those words? "I love you," & "You have played the game well"?

The person with the Herobrine username, which has had the catboy Herobrine skin on for years o7

[dorenarox]

TWO weird glitches? In ONE day?!

I feel so blessed.

[tf2heritageposts]

i know this is a tf2 blog, but someone took the half-life heritage posts url and it’s a valve game so who cares

we’re playing half life opposing forces on our steam deck, and the game glitched so hard that when we died, we got sent to the beginning of regular half life

[r3d-m3dic]

It's 11:30 pm. I shouldn't be awake. but I had headcanons be beamed into my brain that I need to write down lmao

SCP headcanons, gaming edition

Gears: COD. He plays COD. No don't ask why. I do not know. It's just funny to me. He never uses glitches because 'you're not supposed to do that.'

Iceberg: He mostly plays COD with Gears. Except he's absolute ass at it, yet knows every single glitch in every single COD game.

Glass: Animal Crossing. Need I explain?

Bright: Minecraft, but that was in my last headcanon post. He also likes TF2.

Kondraki: The Looker. Specifically because of the dick joke at the end. That's all. That's the reason.

Clef: He finds Wobbledogs amusing and tries to make the most hideous creations possible. He made a 3 eyed dog before and cried when it died.

No I didn't. -Clef

Uh huh sureeee ;) -Bright

Stfu -Clef

:( -Bright

how did you guys get access to this -me

:) -Bright

ah that's cringe

[shinolavolume1]

I had a dream where i was playing tf2 and somebody gave me a pair of unusual santa claus boots that eould either make my soldier turn into lion from dota 2 or cause seizure inducing graphical glitches

[gonturan0]

Last night in rocketjumping- Hey wait, some of you don't know what rocketjumping is. One of my friends thought rocketjumping had to do with Mario. Rocketjumping is a movement mechanic from Team Fortress 2. You jump, crouch, and shoot a rocket at your feet, and it launches you into the air. Aim behind you and you get launched forward. Depending on how vertical and horizontal your aim is, the velocity and height of your jump vary. There's a lot of nuance, muscle memory, glitches, and tricks to learn. The point of it all? People use rocketjumping to speed ahead of their teammates or flank their enemies.

Sometimes you use it to smack your enemies with a shovel and insta-kill them.

But some people make maps revolving around jumping, and only jumping. Maps that are pretty, weird, and pretty weird.

Someday I'll play this map. Someday. ok this map has only been beaten by 47 people but maybe someday!!! I was inspired by the videos I've seen of jumpmaps and I wanted to learn so I could see the cool maps for myself and make jump montages if I got good enough. I decided to document the experience so I can track my progression. This journey is getting posted here instead of my TF2 blog since, well, this is more a personal thing, and I'd rather have my friends read about it instead of 200 people who don't really know who I am. Anyway... Last night in rocketjumping: Tried Easy Pogo on a lark, got stuck at the wall climb.

Tonight in rocketjumping- Tried Jump-beefmas, it feels oddly harder than the normal jump_beef map? You have to skip on a log in the 2nd course and I couldn't get enough speed. Went to Easy Walls, got to Easy Walls 7? 8? the one where you zigzag across the water. Anxiety from external factors fried my nerves and I quit early.

[stikiduk]

I have a confession to make, I’m really only into tf2 for the lore/story/characters around it. Sometimes I forget it’s and actual game you can play.

My friend and I (who might see this u know who you are Jelly) decided to play tf2 earlier, and keep in mind this is my first time playing in years. He brings me to an MVM map while teaching me how to play as pyro, since that’s who he mains. After two stressful waves of mowing down robots we get to wave 3, where like most of the team left and eventually quit. There was this one guy who was very adamant about getting our game started, but they too would soon leave. My friend and I, being the only ones left, both switched to Engineer and waited for something to happen. But the game glitched, and no robots came out. So we spent the last half hour or so switching between different classes while chasing each other around, but we got bored so we stopped. I’ll probably actually play the game again when I’m less sleep deprived, but I’m a little hesitant to because I’ve been told most tf2 players are major assholes.

Thanks for listening to me rant about tf2 my good man. I’m incredibly tired since I couldn’t sleep last night, but I hope you were able to understand me just fine.

[starstableopinions]

I feel like some sso players don't realize how lucky we are to have a game that updates so regularly and has such an active community. I don't think I can remember in the last year an instance where there's been an update that hasn't garnered some kind of hate from the community.

Now, I'm not talking about the people who say "I don't personally like this update because-" or "This update negatively effected the game because-" or "I dont like the design/movements of the horse in this update because-". You are free to have and voice your opinion about the game, and it's good if we let SSE know what we dislike about the game and what we would like to see in order to help push the game in the right direction.

What I AM talking about is people who say "this isn't the star stable I loved!" Or "I'm going to quit sso because of this update." Or "This update ruined the game! SSE doesn't care anymore!!"

It's okay to be nostalgic about the old game and miss aspects about it. But never wanting it to change ever would just be holding the game back, which would cause people to complain again that the game isn't going anywhere and is dead.

Along with playing SSO, I also play Red Dead Redemption 2 Online and Team Fortress 2. The last major Red Dead update was July of 2021, after which the company withdrew development to work on another game. The last major Team Fortress 2 update was over 6 years ago. While TF2 is an older game than Star Stable, coming out 5 years before SSOs worldwide release, Red Dead only came out 6 years AFTER SSO. Both of these games have since dwindled and been forgotten about by the company behind them, despite still being fairly popular and making money for the company, possibly even more than Star Stable makes for SSE.

And yet, Star stable still outlived both of them. If anything, the frequency we get the updates, regardless of how small or big they are, and how long the game has lasted shows just how much SSE DOES care about Star Stable online. They could have easily dropped the game and moved on to other things, but they still maintain an active community and game while working on other projects. We are lucky that the game we love is still thriving and that the creators and company behind it are always trying to better the game.

I'm not saying don't voice your opinion about the updates or what needs to be fixed. But can we please stop jumping to "I'm going to quit the game cause this update ruined it" whenever we're unhappy about it? Unless the game is litterally unplayable, it isn't ruined. Yeah, it may be a pain in the moment, but it can be fixed. Horse gaits can be fixed. Glitches can be fixed. Npcs and quests can be fixed. But what can't be fixed is a game where the fandom and creators have given up on it.

.

[gglitchshit]

took a trip down memory lane discovering tf2 backpack has a "sort by date" function and i'm going crazy over getting an unusual before getting a gibus and a pyrovision

[xxiamtiebrousxx]

Chapter One "Press Start" (My Fortress Home | Tf2 x Reader)

A/n: For @niccino-apino. Sorry it took so long to get this done! Reader is gender neutral by the way, using they/them pronouns.

The light from my laptop illuminated my room. The Team Fortress 2 pop funkos lined the shelves. A 3D printed mini-sentry was on top of stacked books. Printed physical copies of the comics were laid out on the desk. I had all the posters of each mercenary taped to my wall. I owned the plushies, including the RED and BLU spy crabs. There were several pins, nine to be exact, spread across my desk. Each had the mercenary class icons.

I was a huge Team Fortress 2 fan and no one could change that. 

It was near midnight, there was nothing wrong with that. I could catch up on my sleep later. I waited for the big update for Team Fortress 2. My uncle, U/n, who was one of the Team Fortress 2 developers, actually listened to the community and decided to make every update come true. Gabe Newell allowed this major update to happen. They even released the seventh comic!

It would include the long awaited Heavy update, new maps, new items, a new short film, and a new class. The legendary, mythical tenth class would be a customizable character for the player. You could design their costume, name, weapons, everything! And I would be the first person to try it out. I’d be the (class name). I already had sketches of my character’s design. My uncle granted me super, special VIP access to the update. It would only happen at midnight. The next day, anyone else could play.

I had already logged into my Steam account and accessed TF2. I waited and waited. I scrolled through my cosmetic items. I nearly owned them all! From hats to Halloween gear. My phone lit up, notifying me. Then it began to ring. The ringtone was Medic’s theme. The notification sound effect was Scout’s “Bonk” catchphrase. The alarm was the main theme.

“Hello?” I asked, picking up my phone.

“Y/n, sweetie!” my uncle exclaimed. “It’s me, how are you?” I practically felt him smiling. He was my favorite uncle.

Fortunately for me, he was my only uncle. 

“I’m fine, just waiting for the update,” I replied. My screen crashed. I tried to reload it but it wasn’t working. It turned black. “Oh, something’s wrong with my laptop.”

“Uh, Y/n, about the update,” U/n said. 

“Hold on,” I said. I hit the screen and it turned back on, playing the Valve intro. The update! It  was already happening! “My screen’s back on,” I said. “So, what’s wrong with it?”

“There’s some bugs that need to be fixed and-.” 

The line went dead.

“Uh, uncle?” I asked. As the Valve intro finished playing, the screen glitched again. There was an option. “PRESS START.” It said. I simply hit the enter button. Then one by one, the icons of the mercenaries appeared.

Scout, Soldier, Pyro.

Engineer, Heavy, Demo.

Medic, Sniper, Spy.

A last icon appeared. One that was different from the others. It was the game’s logo and it seemed to grow. 

"WELCOME TO TEUFORT."

I blacked out.

My limbs ached and were sore. My head was throbbing. I couldn’t see. It felt as if I was falling. Falling down an endless abyss. Wind blew through my hair. It didn’t seem to end. Then the pain arrived. I screamed as my arm cracked. I could hear it. It sounded like when the bones break in TF2. That sound of chips being crushed up in a bag when you lose HP.

“Mission starts in sixty seconds.” I opened my eyes. The bright sun was blinding. I groaned, covering my eyes and got up. I was standing on gravel because it crunched under my feet. I looked up.

“Woah!” I exclaimed. The two bases of TF2’s map, 2Fort, stood before me. I started laughing. “This is unbelievable!” I said. This had to be a dream! There was no way this could be real. I started to look around. The bridge, the gate, the bases! It all felt real! Even the Administrator’s voice was legit! It sounded so real! I was animated in SFM style. My clothes, skin, and hair shined. I wore a one piece jumpsuit similar to the one Black Widow wore in Avengers. Only, it glitched back and forth from red and blue. I had a utility belt around my hips, a satchel backpack on my back, and fingerless gloves. The TF2 logo was on my arm.

“Mission starts in ten seconds,” the administrator said. I giggled. Lucid dreaming hypnosis really works if you listen to it long enough. I don’t remember using the shifting abilities people on the Internet talked about, which seemed unbelievable, but this was a story worth putting on. “Five, four, three, two one, fight!” The alarm sounded off and the gunshots went off.

The only problem was that both teams were headed right for me. Bullets skimmed past my arms. I started to lose HP. 

As if it was muscle memory, I pulled out a gun from my pack and started shooting. The RED Scout dodged and hit me with his metal bat. It was painful! I fell back and landed on my shoulder, possibly breaking it. The scout towered over me.

“Are you new?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I think so,” I weakly answered. 

“Cool,” he said. He held his hand out and pulled me to my feet. 

“Scout! Stop messing around and come help us!” Engineer called out.

“Alright, alright! I’ll be there!” he replied. “But first, meet uh… What’d you say your name was?” he asked. 

“Uh, Y/n,” I replied. 

“Sorry, can’t use that,” he said. “I shoulda asked for your class name.”

“Oh, it’s (Class name),” I said. “Is that good?” He nodded.

“It’ll work,” he replied. “Hey Engy! Come meet (Class name)!” Before he could come over, a rocket landed in front of us, blowing Scout and I into the water. I was extremely low on HP. I was near death. I swam towards the sewer. I crawled halfway before giving up. Pyro ran past me, holding his flare gun when he stopped and looked down at me. 

“Hey,” I said, panting. “Is this real life or am I dreaming?” I asked. 

“Mmmmph,” he replied, shrugging. I sighed, resting on my back. I floated in the water. “Mmmph mmph?” I wiped water off my face.

“What?” I asked. He grabbed me by my feet and dragged me to the nearest medikit. I collected it and my HP was restored. “Thanks,” I said, standing up.

“Mmph,” Pyro replied, running off. I looked down at the hall/sewer before me. I walked up the stairs and hid behind the crates. My suit stopped changing colors and settled on red. The Red Heavy just entered with a disguised Blu Spy following behind him. There was a backstab noise and Heavy screamed in pain. I looked up from my hiding place. He was dead.

And I was next.

I felt the butterfly knife pierce my back and I collapsed. I was dying, watching the Spy pull out his weapon. 

The next thing I knew I was dead.

I woke up, gasping for air. I was on the floor back in my room. My laptop was off. My uncle busted down, not literally, the door. 

“Y/n!” he exclaimed. “What happened? You weren’t answering my calls!” I rubbed my head.

“I don’t know what happened,” I replied. “I must’ve passed out from exhaustion.” He sighed.

“Well, let’s get you to bed,” he said. I looked up at my laptop.

 It flickered back on for a moment with words that read “(Class Name) has joined the game.”

[parasitoidism]

cannot stop thinking about when ashley asked me why my tf2 was glitched to say I was always playing on harvest as I was playing on harvest because I love to play on harvest

[hershelwidget]

I just had a dream this morning that competes against the TNBC x Luca dream really well for title of “My Funniest”, so I’m going to explain it before it is lost to the echoes of my mind.

It played out like a TF2 SFM. All of the characters were TF2 in fact: Two Scouts, a Soldier, and a Pyro. They were on what my subconscious could only think was a whaling ship, although there was no whaling done. The dynamic was something akin to “How To Climb A Tree”— you know that one freaky video about three scout brothers and a tree? That. Except it’s one Captain Scout, Foreman(???) Soldier, Sailor Scout, and Sailor Pyro. I know nothing about ships so bare with me. It gets funny.

Anyways, these four are sailing through the ocean, and consistently get at such a weird angle that everyone has to hold on as they go sideways. Captain and Foreman seem VERY excited about this, while Sailor Scout is alarmed like a normal human being. I have NO idea what happened with Sailor Pyro. The squad eventually finds themselves on a very wavy, very hilly road, with nothing but school buses travelling on it as well. The shifts in this “SFM” were very similar to Eltorro64rus videos.

As they’re on the road, the Foreman says something about carts, one spawns in the ship, and they all get in and ride it. It gets INCREDIBLY foggy from here, but they end up on a floating island, and it all suddenly gains Roblox Physics—the kind that I remember anyways, from the early days where a majority of games were obbies and tycoons. Captain sees a cart attached to the island, gets on it, it starts moving. Another cart spawns behind him, so Sailor Scout gets on that one… And the carts start bugging out and I distinctly remember hearing a VERY OLD version of the Roblox Jump Sound. I should note that everyone A-Poses for a few frames.

I don’t remember anything else, the dream ended just as everyone was about to glitch out and enter a tunnel that the cart was leading to. I do however remember one line of dialogue:

“Hold on with your asscheeks!” - Both Foreman and Captain at very seperate points

What this dream means? Hell if I know, but it is just as funny as my TNBC x Luca dream, so it gets the honour of getting a name as well: “SFM Ship Crew”

[tf2heritageposts]

alright third ask... if i submit anything twice im sorry theres a lotta posts out there and the one im still working on has endless scrolling on their blog so thats fun.

knuckle tattoo

share a coke

science side of tumblr

gun world

playing scout/sniper/pyro like

i have no clue if you have this video on the blog already but heres the one with the coach from left 4 dead

more gun

individual cabin 1

playing tf2 as sniper

synced pyro taunt

tf2 gamemodes shown by spongebob

team fortress the second

heavy weapons guy and his son

seal :)

orb

ubercharged blu engineer for a steam icon

pyro ballpit

the spies in tf2 glitch fact

demoman voice lines

medic

stop yelling

the weenie man is here

tf2 sitcom

welcome to 2fort

another tf2 christmas ornament

tf2 then and now

thats it for now. hope this helps with the queue

i ate this one up like noodles slurp