#go to church -> become more conservative -> meet my mother -> go to more church -> iphone invented -> | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vangoghmusings · 4 years

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𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

pairing: demon!tendou satori x fem!reader

rating: 18+

word count: 4.1k

warnings: child abuse, religious trauma, mentions of blood, seizure, religious taboo, degradation, public sex (?), oral (receiving), fingering, unprotected intercourse

a/n: ahh here’s the first one shot of my 1k halloween event!! this story is VERY NSFW so please do not read if you are a minor. this also have mentions of child abuse and religious trauma and is VERY taboo. each story is partically inspired by a song, this one is “under your skin” by jukebox the ghost, which i have linked below. otherwise, i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it!!

https://open.spotify.com/track/5oiZiF3fBLHqgTDaH0Pj7M?si=RBkk9ddxS7OMO_ZDhT85Dw

✁ ✂ ✃ 𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖘𝖐𝖎𝖓 ✁ ✂ ✃

Growing up in a small town had its pros and cons. The cons were plentiful. Limited things to do, small minded people, and the conservative mindset of the looming church steeple that shadowed over the town. The pro, however, was Tendou Satori.

You had met Satori when you moved to this godforsaken small town at the age of 8. Your parents moved there for work but insisted on sending you to a private school to ensure a “morally correct” upbringing. It was an ancient Christian school made of brown brick stacked up like a castle. Inside you would meet the son of the pastor, Satori himself. You were the same age, but he looked younger, paler and more shriveled, with cuts and bruises adorning his legs, some covered up by his uniform knee socks. It was common knowledge that Pastor Tendou beat his son, but it was his right after all, it always appeared to him that his son acted out with the persuasion of the devil. You feared your new surroundings and Satori feared the home he lived in. You had found solace in each other quickly.

As you grew older and closer, some things never changed. Satori often came to you crying, a new injury on his skin from his father present and so you spent the night nursing him back to health. Other weekends were spent helping him clean the tombstones of the graveyard behind the church. Once you two would finish scrubbing the moss and dirt from the stones, you’d have a picnic in the cemetery. It was oddly peaceful, laying upon the ground with each other laughing and ignoring the corpses beneath you. Picnics in the graveyard were calm, but not when your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. Satori had a habit placing his head on your lap as he ate whatever was in the basket for that day. He’d look up at you with wide eyes, passionately talking about whatever was plaguing his mind that day. It was normal for his face to be bruised or cut. And you often kissed them after treating them, but when he looking up at you with such a bright smile, squinting at the sun above just enough for the cuts to break and bleed once again, you wanted to kiss them again, but differently. It felt different, you were different.

This had to be a sin.

It felt like you were being eaten alive by the thoughts that ran amok in your head. Satori was this beautifully pained angel with no escape from the constant terror that was his father. Pastor or not, he believed that Satori was filled with hellish intentions of the devil himself. And what father could be proud of a son who was the devil incarnate? Yet here you were, falling slowly, madly, deeply in love with your best friend. While his sole mission was to survive until graduation, yours had become to be able to kiss more than just his cuts and bruises.

This was definitely a sin.

You were halfway through your senior year when it happened. When you lost Satori. Every Thursday, the school held liturgy. You and Satori were the altar servers alongside Pastor Tendou. It was surprising how quickly you two could form such serious faces the moment you put on the white garments. You sat in the cushioned chairs beside Satori as his father gave a sermon. Tendou listened attentively, taking in any clue to take as an advantage to possibly get his father to love him. To prove he wasn’t a mistake or a demon.

“Now a days... the devil presents himself in many ways. From that damned technology to that blasted music...”

Pastor Tendou was known for hateful sermons. Yet, in such a small town as this, it was normal. He was so adamant about the devil in our everyday lives that felt that there was more hatred and death than the possibility of mercy.

“And the devil is within us too! We must be willing to cut off his clawed hands from us, and crush his soulless entity that hovers within-”

A throat ripping gasp cut off Pastor Tendou as his son lurched from his chair and collapsed onto the floor. You jumped back in your chair, watching as his back arched so high it didn’t seem physically possibly; a blood curdling scream filling the church coming from him. The church froze, watching in fear as the pastor’s son began to convulse. You watched in horror as his body slammed back onto the floor and he began to shake viciously. Frothing at the mouth, his eyes rolled back, and it look like his veins were about to rip through his flesh. You looked to Pastor Tendou for any sign of instruction of what to do. He was dying, you were watching him die.

Before you could shout for help, Pastor Tendou took the glass of Holy Water that was stashed in the tabernacle and poured it on Satori. The water caused his skin to sear, smoke rising from his skin like he was burning alive. More screams fell from his lips, his face only readable as pure pain. You looked away as tears streamed down your own face at seeing him in such agony.

Pastor Tendou looked down at him with narrowed eyes as his son soon stopped shaking. And then his body went utterly limp, his chest no longer rising and falling with breath. You wanted to scream, he was dead, he had to be dead. You were about to reach out for his body when his eyes shot wide open. He gasped and sat up right, looking around frantically around the church and down at his hands. His face broke into a smile as he looked at his father.

“H-he left! I’m free!”

Satori jumped up, hugging his father tightly as they both rejoiced that the devil had finally left him. It was true, that after years of never-ending abuse Satori believed that he indeed had a devil inside of him.

Pastor Tendou cupped his son’s face and kissed his head in pure joy. He let go and turned to his laypeople who watched from the pews in shock.

“REJOICE! MY SON HAS CRUSHED THE CLAWED HANDS OF SATAN!”

The people stood up and cheered, shouting amens and hallelujahs, kneeling and bowing. Satori had finally been saved. You couldn’t believe your eyes. This fake demon that was beaten into belief had suddenly up and left? And Satori needed to go to a hospital, he just had a seizure after all.

“Sato, we should get you to a hospital-”

He turned to you, swiftly taking your hands in his. It appeared that all of the cuts on his knuckles had magically disappeared. Before you could process the thought, he kissed your hands and smiled at you.

“God has saved me Y/N. I don’t need a hospital.”

You gaped at him. You knew Satori was religious because there was no escape from it in his life, but he never made outright claims about it in front of you. And now he spoke as if he was indeed possessed and was exercised.

Mass eventually ended. When Satori’s mother had gotten the news, she also leapt for joy, however, with the thought of her son having a seizure ingrained in her mind, she insisted that he go to a hospital. Once you got the okay to visit him, you took your parents car and sped over. You were frantic, worried beyond belief of what could be wrong with Satori, enough for him to proclaim freedom from a demon.

You walked into the hospital room. It had only been a day since the incident, but the room was filled to the brim with bouquets. The whole town had come to learn of Satori’s freedom. You looked at the red-haired boy sleeping soundly on the hospital bed. It was odd. HIs skin was free of his previous bruises and cuts. He was free, but maybe of physical pain, not a demon.

You sighed and moved a vase of flowers from the chair beside his bed and onto the floor, taking a seat and reaching for his hand.

“Sato,” you hummed, hoping to gently wake him up. He didn’t.

You frowned and took in his features. He looked peaceful but, paler than usual. He had always been pale, but now he simply looked sickly. The veins in his face were apparent, he looked almost translucent. Almost as if, if you tried to look hard enough, you would see the blood moving in veins. Before you could reach out to touch his cheek, his eyes fluttered open, a smile spreading across his face as he saw you.

“Y/N,” He said softly. His eyes were bright, happy to see you. Yet, his brown eyes almost had a red gleam.

“Sato!” You beamed, standing up to hug him tightly. He hummed in your embrace and held you. You sighed lightly, just glad that he was okay. “You really scared me.”

He let go and gave you a frown.

“I didn’t intend to. I’m sorry.”

“It's okay,” you mumbled, ruffling his hair. He chuckled softly and leaned into your touch. Was his voice deeper too?

“It seems that you’ve gotten quite popular Sato,” you said referencing to the room filled with flowers. He grinned and looked up at you.

“I guess people like you more when you’ve seen God.”

You froze and pulled your hand out of his hair.

“What?”

He nodded and looked at you blankly. He was very serious.

“Yes. I saw him. He-” Tendou paused, carefully deciding his words, “he’s inside of me.”

“God...God is inside of you?”

“Yes.”

You scoffed and stood up.

“Sato you sound insane.”

He glared at you.

“Don’t speak to me like that.”

You looked at him incredulously. He was so stern, brows furrowed with anger.

“I-”

“Listen to me,” He said getting up from the hospital bed. He stepped towards you, placing a firm grip on your neck with his cold hand thin hand, trapping you between the wall and his grip. You gasped; your face filled with shock. You watched as a smirk spread across his face, as he pressed his nails into your neck. You whimpered in pain, they were sharp, pointed almost.

“Y/N... God is in me, and I am God.”

You froze, watching as his eyes were undeniably crimson now.

“T-this isn’t you Sato-”

“Shut up,” He snarled.

You were right, he was paler. You could indeed see the veins in his flesh pulsing, but they were not red. They were a deep inky black.

You winced as he dug his nails further into your neck, tears prickling your eyes. Under the dim yellow lights of the hospital room, you had shrunken, like trapped mouse beneath the claw of a lion. Satori saw your tears and quickly let go.

“I-I’m so sorry Y/N...I didn’t mean to!” He cried, falling to his knees and clinging to your thigh. He sobbed into your leg and shook hard. You blinked, looking down at your best friend who had just choked you against a wall and was now sobbing against you.

“Sato get up, please...” You mumbled, afraid of what his next action would be. This was so unlike him. He was usually so bright and goofy and now he looked like something was eating him from the inside out.

He looked up at you with tear stained cheeks, trembling. You sighed and helped bring him to his feet.

“Get dressed, I brought you clothes, and I have a basket with food in the car.”

He gave a weak smile.

“Picnic?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. You pulled the clothes from his bag, a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel from the many times he had stayed over at your house after his father beat the pulp out of him. You set them on the bed and turned to leave. A firm grip on your arm stopped you from walking out.

“Don’t leave me,” He whispered. His voice sounded fearful and broken, like the many times he cried as you cleaned his cuts.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to do. He wanted you to stay as he changed out of his clothes. That had to be a sin. Didn’t he know that? Didn’t he know that you were burning with desire for him? It was all too much. You pulled your arm from you grip.

“I’ll just be in the hall Sato,” you said with a weak smile. His face fell and he nodded as you turned back to walk out the door.

You waited patiently in the hall, your feet tapping as you tried to collect your thoughts. In the past 24 hours, Satori had apparently had a seizure, claimed to be freed from a demon, now claimed to be God, and physically hurt you. It didn’t make any sense.

You turned your head at the sound of the door opening to see Satori, relishing in the warmth of the flannel around him.

“Picnic?” He asked with excitement.

You chuckled and nodded, walking out to your car with him.

You eventually arrived at the cemetery, your usual spot you both had found comfort in. Any stranger would call them crazy, eating among the dead. But to them, this was pure peace. They were among those who were at rest, simply waiting for their own time. You pulled into your usual parking spot, the 6th on in from the right. You grabbed the basket and walked alongside Satori to the spot in the cemetery that was open lush grass. The day was gray, but it was rare that the sun came out in your town. The spot was surrounded by 6 statues of crying Virgins. It was eerie, but to you it was a simple normality of your graveyard picnics.

Satori helped lay the blanket as you set down the picnic basket. Today you brought sandwiches and cut fruit. He gave you a bright smile and followed your cue to sit down on the blanket and get comfortable. You handed him a sandwich and he thanked you, taking a large bite. You froze, looking at his teeth and how they gnashed through the bread. They were sharp, pointed like an animal. You swallowed your bite and wiped your mouth. You had known Satori since you were 8 years old, had you truly never noticed his red eyes, sharp nails and pointed teeth? HIs paleness and inky black veins? His sudden strength and rage?

“How many people do you think could fit under your skin?”

You blinked, being brought out of your daze by your friend’s sudden question.

“What-”

“I think I could fit at least two people under my skin. Physically. However, emotionally, plenty of people get under my skin realistically.”

“Sato...what are you talking about?”

It was sudden and unexpected, the way he jumped on top of you. He knocked the wind out of you with how forceful the impact was of your back slamming against the ground. You coughed and looked at him in terror. This was not the meek and gentle Satori you had grown up with and this surely wasn’t God either.

Satori pinned your wrists to the ground and used his own legs to keep yours down. You didn’t bother struggling, he was too strong. And the sinful part of your mind had envisioned this position one too many times for you to fight back.

“I said, how many people do you think you could fit under your skin?”

“I-I don’t know,” You whimpered in fear. This fear felt wrong though, this fear caused your legs to try and pinch together. Sinful.

“You’re pitiful,” Satori growled, his eyes gleaming a deep red. The frown quickly turned into a smirk as he watched you begin to squirm under his weight. “Do you think I’m stupid, Y/N?”

“N-No, Sato-”

He narrowed his eyes and licked his lips.

“Are you sure? Cause you’re a terrible liar.”

You froze, fear crippling you in your spot. Satori’s smirk stayed in its spot as he let go of one of your wrists, only to grab a firm grip of your thigh. You yelped and looked at him with wide eyes.

“You’re a sinner Y/N. That’s why we need to cleanse your soul.”

“Cleanse my soul?”

Satori nodded; clear he was being completely serious.

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure what ‘cleansing your soul’ would entail. He gave you a gently smile and let go of your thigh to softly stroke your cheek.

“I can save you.”

He smiled brightly, it looked like it was supposed to be caring but, with how he had pinned your body to the ground, you couldn’t be sure. But apparently you did, since the next words that came out of your mouth were,

“Save me.”

The way Satori handled you would lead you to believe that he had done this a billion times. You knew he hadn’t, he couldn’t have.

“You need to show yourself to God in your purest form.”

You shivered as his cold fingertips touched your skin as he helped undress you, the weeping Virgins were the only ones watching your nervous form besides Satori himself. Besides God himself.

Shortly after he undressed you, He took his own clothes off, his translucent skin and inky black veins more prominent in the grey sunlight. You had never seen him so exposed, and the same went for you. You curled up shyly, remembering that you sat naked in front of him.

“Stop,” He said gently, placing a cold hand on your knee, pulling your limbs away from hiding your body. “You’re perfect,” He breathed out softly. You felt heat rush through your body at his comment. “Such a perfect vessel,” He mumbled, continuing to eye you up and down.

“V-vessel?” You prompted, only to be cut off by the sensation of Satori sucking down and kissing your neck. You gasped, your hands gripping his shoulders as he towered over you, nipping at your skin and sucking harshly. You cried out softly, embarrassed at the wetness pooling in between your legs. You were brought out of your distraction when you felt Satori’s sharp teeth dig into the flesh of your neck. You whimpered and tried to pull away, the new sensation too much to bare. He pulled away to look at you, his lips swollen from kissing your neck and his eyes looked like ruby’s, mesmerizing gems.

“Sato,” you whispered. He looked ravenous and wild. HIs cheekbones looked sharper, the blank veins pulsing rapidly under his skin. He grinned madly, and now you were certain. You had lost Satori. The monster in front of you was a demon. You had fallen in love with demon.

“Hush,” He purred, placing a icy finger against your lips to silence you.

You stared, horrified at his next move, what this demon would do to you, with such heavy lust overtaking your vision. You really were a sinner. With unexpected force, he pushed you back down against the ground, the fluff of the blanket cushioning your fall. With iron-clad strength, he opened your legs and buried his head between them. You gasped, Satori’s mouth instantly latching around your clit without warning. You shook under him and he reached up and grabbed your throat, gripping it tightly to quiet you. You whimpered, unable to handle the strength he was sucking at. Your breath hitched feeling his cold finger slide inside you, curling rapidly. It was too much too fast, your vision blurring as you felt tightness coil in your tummy.

“S-Sato, please; it's too much!”

You cried, fearing the heat bubbling up in your core. You felt Satori roll his eyes against you as his tongue darted inside of you, sucking and leeching your folds as he slipped a second finger inside. You’d never felt like this, flush and needy and desperate for his touch. He let go of your neck and your arms launched forward, pulling at his hair and attempting to get some form of leverage as you bucked your hips against this mouth. You were so close-

“Pathetic,” He growled sitting up, his pale face covered in your slick. It was lewd and sinful and quite possibly the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. “You were going to cum just from my mouth? You’re too easy.”

You frowned, embarrassed that he was right. He chuckled and gently placed a kiss on your lips. You blinked.

There it was the moment you had been longing for for so long. He had finally kissed you. It took a demonic possession but at last, he finally kissed you. It was just a peck, so he began to pull away. You wouldn’t let that be, you couldn’t. No no no, your mind screamed as you grabbed his face and pulled him back to you. You kissed him hard, every lingering touch filled with needy. You gasped softly when he bit your bottom lip, he pointed teeth puncturing gently. You pulled away, completely aware of what you were going to ask and to what you were asking. There was no longer who inside of Satori’s body, but a what, a demon.

“Sato, I-I know I’m a sinner and I know this is wrong, but,” You sat on your knees, begging him, taking his icy hand and placing it on your bare chest. “If you can save me, do it now.”

Satori’s red eye’s sparkled, clearly hearing words he liked.

“What a beautiful perfect little sinner you are.”

You sat on your knees, continuously begging for him to do more than just look down on you, until pushed you back, knocking you down onto your back. It seemed this domineering position was his favorite. You watched with wide eyes as Satori positioned his length at your entrance.

“Beg for my cock.”

“W-What? Sato that’s so vulgar-”

“I SAID BEG,” He growled threateningly, there was no softness in his voice, just utter lust and malice.

“P-please, Satori, I need your cock! Please, I need it so bad-” You cried out when he forcefully shoved his entire length inside of you.

Your head fell back, your vision blurring from the tears of pain and pleasure. Moans fell from your lips at the sins that were happening before you. Not only were you fucking the pastor’s son, you were fucking the pastor’s son who was possessed by a demon in a graveyard. You blinked several times, the tears rolling down your cheeks as you were able to focus your vision. Staring back down at you, was one of the weeping Virgin statues, crying just as you were.

You were brought back to focus on Satori when he thrusted harshly into you, hitting your cervix. You groaned, the pleasure becoming too much to handle, the heat bubbling up inside of you once more. Satori grunted with every violent thrust, growling and sounding absolutely animalistic, your legs now sitting on his shoulders to go deeper into you. The moans bounced and echoed against the tombstones in the yard the Virgins watched the scene in front of them.

“I’m close Sato,” You whimpered, digging your nails into his back, scratching hard as to cling onto him. He moaned, and you knew you were drawing blood. You pulled your hands away, only to see that it wasn’t blood, but the same black ink that ran through his veins. You gasped, unable to deny now that Satori was a demon. You cried out, an unexpected thrust hitting your g-spot directly.

“Praise your God and I’ll let you cum,” Satori hissed, his pupils slitted like a snake.

You had realized now that you are Eve. Bewitched by the serpent, Satan, in the garden by the fruit.

“P-Please o-oh God! I want to cum, please!” You wailed, begging for him to fill you with the same ink that now adorned your fingers.

“What a good little sinner,” He purred, quickening his pace and bottoming out in you. You arched your back, crying out as you unraveled underneath him. He growled lowly in your ear as he came inside of you with you. He slowed his pace, letting you both ride out your highs. You panted, looking up at him, as the pulsing veins that trailed his cheekbones faded back into his flesh.

“Sato...” You attempted to catch your breath as you weakly sat up. “I-I love you,” you blurted, praying that somewhere inside, the true Satori could hear you under the weight of the demon that consumed him.

“I know,” He smiled softly and cupped your chin in his hand and pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “And now I own you.”

taglist: @mixfi @melanimed @batwrangler @kac-chowsballs (taglist for event is still open)

#hellish intentions 1k event #vangoghmusings #satori #tendou #tendo #tendo satori #satori tendou #satori tendō #satori tendo x reader #tendou x y/n #tendo x y/n #tendo x reader #tendou x reader #tendou x you #tendou satori x reader #tendou smut #tendo smut

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phroyd · 4 years

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Oh My, what terrible timing, and what a great loss! Rest In Peace Justice Ginsburg, thank you for all you have done for our country! - Phroyd

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the demure firebrand who in her 80s became a legal, cultural and feminist icon, died Friday. The Supreme Court announced her death, saying the cause was complications from metastatic cancer of the pancreas.

The court, in a statement, said Ginsburg died at her home in Washington surrounded by family. She was 87.

"Our nation has lost a justice of historic stature," Chief Justice John Roberts said. "We at the Supreme Court have lost a cherished colleague. Today we mourn but with confidence that future generations will remember Ruth Bader Ginsburg as we knew her, a tired and resolute champion of justice."

Architect of the legal fight for women's rights in the 1970s, Ginsburg subsequently served 27 years on the nation's highest court, becoming its most prominent member. Her death will inevitably set in motion what promises to be a nasty and tumultuous political battle over who will succeed her, and it thrusts the Supreme Court vacancy into the spotlight of the presidential campaign.

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Just days before her death, as her strength waned, Ginsburg dictated this statement to her granddaughter Clara Spera: "My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed."

She knew what was to come. Ginsburg's death will have profound consequences for the court and the country. Inside the court, not only is the leader of the liberal wing gone, but with the Court about to open a new term, Chief Justice John Roberts no longer holds the controlling vote in closely contested cases.

Though he has a consistently conservative record in most cases, he has split from fellow conservatives in a few important ones, this year casting his vote with liberals, for instance, to at least temporarily protect the so-called Dreamers from deportation by the Trump administration, to uphold a major abortion precedent, and to uphold bans on large church gatherings during the coronavirus pandemic. But with Ginsburg gone, there is no clear court majority for those outcomes.

Indeed, a week after the upcoming presidential election, the court is for the third time scheduled to hear a challenge brought by Republicans to the Affordable Care Act, known as Obamacare. In 2012 the high court upheld the law by a 5-to-4 vote, with Chief Justice Roberts casting the deciding vote and writing the opinion for the majority. But this time the outcome may well be different.

That's because Ginsburg's death gives Republicans the chance to tighten their grip on the court with another Trump appointment that would give conservatives a 6-to-3 majority. And that would mean that even a defection on the right would leave conservatives with enough votes to prevail in the Obamacare case and many others.

At the center of the battle to achieve that will be Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. In 2016 he took a step unprecedented in modern times: He refused for nearly a year to allow any consideration of President Obama's supreme court nominee.

Back then, McConnell's justification was the upcoming presidential election, which he said would allow voters a chance to weigh in on what kind of justice they wanted. But now, with the tables turned, McConnell has made clear he will not follow the same course. Instead he will try immediately push through a Trump nominee so as to ensure a conservative justice to fill Ginsburg's liberal shoes, even if President Trump were to lose his re-election bid. Asked what he would do in circumstances like these, McConnell said: "Oh, we'd fill it."

So what happens in the coming weeks will be bare-knuckle politics, writ large, on the stage of a presidential election. It will be a fight Ginsburg had hoped to avoid, telling Justice Stevens shortly before his death that she hoped to serve as long as he did--until age 90.

"My dream is that I will stay on the court as long as he did," she said in an interview in 2019.

She didn't quite make it. But Ruth Bader Ginsburg was nonetheless an historic figure. She changed the way the world is for American women. For more than a decade, until her first judicial appointment in 1980, she led the fight in the courts for gender equality. When she began her legal crusade, women were treated, by law, differently from men. Hundreds of state and federal laws restricted what women could do, barring them from jobs, rights and even from jury service. By the time she donned judicial robes, however, Ginsburg had worked a revolution.

That was never more evident than in 1996 when, as a relatively new Supreme Court justice, Ginsburg wrote the court's 7-to-1 opinion declaring that the Virginia Military Institute could no longer remain an all-male institution. True, said Ginsburg, most women — indeed most men — would not want to meet the rigorous demands of VMI. But the state, she said, could not exclude women who could meet those demands.

"Reliance on overbroad generalizations ... estimates about the way most men or most women are, will not suffice to deny opportunity to women whose talent and capacity place them outside the average description," Ginsburg wrote.

She was an unlikely pioneer, a diminutive and shy woman, whose soft voice and large glasses hid an intellect and attitude that, as one colleague put it, was "tough as nails."

By the time she was in her 80s, she had become something of a rock star to women of all ages. She was the subject of a hit documentary, a biopic, an operetta, merchandise galore featuring her "Notorious RBG" moniker, a Time magazine cover, and regular Saturday Night Live sketches.

On one occasion in 2016, Ginsburg got herself into trouble and later publicly apologized for disparaging remarks she made about then-presidential candidate Donald Trump.

But for the most part Ginsburg enjoyed her fame and maintained a sense of humor about herself.

Asked about the fact that she had apparently fallen asleep during the 2015 State of the Union address, Ginsburg did not take the Fifth, admitting that although she had vowed not to drink at dinner with the other justices before the speech, the wine had just been too good to resist. The result, she said, was that she was perhaps not an entirely "sober judge" and kept nodding off.

Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., Ruth Bader went to public schools, where she excelled as a student — and as a baton twirler. By all accounts, it was her mother who was the driving force in her young life, but Celia Bader died of cancer the day before the future Justice would graduate from high school.

Then 17, Ruth Bader went on to Cornell on full scholarship, where she met Martin (aka "Marty") Ginsburg. "What made Marty so overwhelmingly attractive to me was that he cared that I had a brain," she said.

After her graduation, they were married and went off to Fort Sill, Okla., for his military service. There Mrs. Ginsburg, despite scoring high on the civil service exam, could only get a job as a typist, and when she became pregnant, she lost even that job.

Two years later, the couple returned to the East Coast to attend Harvard Law School. She was one of only nine women in a class of over 500 and found the dean asking her why she was taking up a place that "should go to a man."

At Harvard, she was the academic star, not Marty. The couple was busy juggling schedules, and their toddler when Marty was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Surgeries and aggressive radiation followed.

"So that left Ruth with a 3-year-old child, a fairly sick husband, the law review, classes to attend and feeding me," said Marty Ginsburg in a 1993 interview with NPR.

The experience also taught the future justice that sleep was a luxury. During the year of Marty's illness, he was only able to eat late at night; after that he would dictate his senior class paper to Ruth. At about 2 a.m., he would go back to sleep, Ginsburg recalled in an NPR interview. "Then I'd take out the books and start reading what I needed to be prepared for classes the next day."

Marty Ginsburg survived, graduated, and got a job in New York; his wife, a year behind him in school, transferred to Columbia, where she graduated at the top of her law school class. Despite her academic achievements, the doors to law firms were closed to women, and though recommended for a Supreme Court clerkship, she wasn't even interviewed.

It was bad enough that she was a woman, she recalled later, but she was also a mother, and male judges worried that she would be diverted by her "familial obligations."

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is pictured in the justice's chambers in Washington, D.C., during an interview with NPR's Nina Totenberg in September 2016.

A mentor, law professor Gerald Gunther, finally got her a clerkship in New York by promising Judge Edmund Palmieri that if she couldn't do the work, he would provide someone who could. That was "the carrot," Ginsburg would say later. "The stick" was that Gunther, who regularly fed his best students to Palmieri, told the judge that if he didn't take Ginsburg, Gunther would never send him a clerk again. The Ginsburg clerkship apparently was a success; Palmieri kept her not for the usual one year, but two, from 1959-61.

Ginsburg's next path is rarely talked about, mainly because it doesn't fit the narrative. She learned Swedish so she could work with Anders Berzelius, a Swedish civil procedure scholar. Through the Columbia Law School Project on International Procedure, Ginsburg and Berzelius co-authored a book.

In 1963, Ginsburg finally landed a teaching job at Rutgers law school, where she at one point hid her second pregnancy by wearing her mother-in-law's clothes. The ruse worked; her contract was renewed before her new baby was born.

While at Rutgers, she began her work fighting gender discrimination.

The 'Mother Brief'

Her first big case was a challenge to a law that barred a Colorado man named Charles Moritz from taking a tax deduction for the care of his 89-year-old mother. The IRS said the deduction, by statute, could only be claimed by women, or widowed or divorced men. But Moritz had never married.

The tax court concluded that the internal revenue code was immune to constitutional challenge, a notion that tax lawyer Marty Ginsburg viewed as "preposterous." The two Ginsburgs took on the case, he from the tax perspective, she from the constitutional perspective.

According to Marty Ginsburg, for his wife, this was the "mother brief." She had to think through all the issues and how to fix the inequity. The solution was to ask the court not to invalidate the statute but to apply it equally to both sexes. She won in the lower courts.

"Amazingly," he recalled in a 1993 NPR interview, the government petitioned the United States Supreme Court, stating that the decision "cast a cloud of unconstitutionality" over literally hundreds of federal statutes, and it attached a list of those statutes, which it compiled with Defense Department computers.

Those laws, Marty Ginsburg added, "were the statutes that my wife then litigated ... to overturn over the next decade."

In 1971, she would write her first Supreme Court brief in the case of Reed v. Reed. Ginsburg represented Sally Reed, who thought she should be the executor of her son's estate instead of her ex-husband.

The constitutional issue was whether a state could automatically prefer men over women as executors of estates. The answer from the all-male supreme court: no.

It was the first time the court had ever struck down a state law because it discriminated based on gender.

And that was just the beginning.

By then Ginsburg was earning quite a reputation. She would become the first female tenured professor at Columbia Law School, and she would found the Women's Rights Project at the ACLU.

As the chief architect of the battle for women's legal rights, Ginsburg devised a strategy that was characteristically cautious, precise and single-mindedly aimed at one goal: winning.

Knowing that she had to persuade male, establishment-oriented judges, she often picked male plaintiffs, and she liked Social Security cases because they illustrated how discrimination against women can harm men. For example, in Weinberger v. Wiesenfeld, she represented a man whose wife, the principal breadwinner, died in childbirth. The husband sought survivor's benefits to care for his child, but under the then-existing Social Security law, only widows, not widowers, were entitled to such benefits.

"This absolute exclusion, based on gender per se, operates to the disadvantage of female workers, their surviving spouses, and their children," Ginsburg told the justices at oral argument. The Supreme Court would ultimately agree, as it did in five of the six cases she argued.

Over the ensuing years, Ginsburg would file dozens of briefs seeking to persuade the courts that the 14th Amendment guarantee of equal protection applies not just to racial and ethnic minorities, but to women as well.

In an interview with NPR, she explained the legal theory that she eventually sold to the Supreme Court.

"The words of the 14th Amendment's equal protection clause — 'nor shall any state deny to any person the equal protection of the laws.' Well that word, 'any person,' covers women as well as men. And the Supreme Court woke up to that reality in 1971," Ginsburg said.

During these pioneering years, Ginsburg would often work through the night as she had during law school. But by this time, she had two children, and she later liked to tell a story about the lesson she learned when her son, in grade school, seemed to have a proclivity for getting into trouble.

The scrapes were hardly major, and Ginsburg grew exasperated by demands from school administrators that she come in to discuss her son's alleged misbehavior. Finally, there came a day when she had had enough. "I had stayed up all night the night before, and I said to the principal, 'This child has two parents. Please alternate calls.'"

After that, she found, the calls were few and far between. It seemed, she said, that most infractions were not worth calling a busy husband about.

The Supreme Court's Second Woman

In 1980 then-President Jimmy Carter named Ginsburg to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia. Over the next 13 years, she would amass a record as something of a centrist liberal, and in 1993 then-President Bill Clinton nominated her to the Supreme Court, the second woman appointed to the position.

She was not first on his list. For months Clinton flirted with other potential nominees, and some women's rights activists withheld their active support because they were worried about Ginsburg's views on abortion. She had been publicly critical of the legal reasoning in Roe v. Wade.

But in the background, Marty Ginsburg was lobbying hard for his wife. And finally Ruth Ginsburg was invited for a meeting with the president. As one White House official put it afterward, Clinton "fell for her--hook, line and sinker." So did the Senate. She was confirmed by a vote of 96 to 3.

Once on the court, Ginsburg was an example of a woman who defied stereotypes. Though she looked tiny and frail, she rode horses well into her 70s and even went parasailing. At home, it was her husband who was the chef, indeed a master chef, while the justice cheerfully acknowledged that she was an awful cook.

Though a liberal, she and the court's conservative icon, Antonin Scalia, now deceased, were the closest of friends. Indeed, an opera called Scalia/Ginsburg is based on their legal disagreements, and their affection for each other.

Over the years, as Ginsburg's place on the court grew in seniority, so did her role. In 2006, as the court veered right after the retirement of Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, Ginsburg dissented more often and more assertively, her most passionate dissents coming in women's rights cases.

Dissenting in Ledbetter v. Goodyear in 2007, she called on Congress to pass legislation that would override a court decision that drastically limited back-pay available for victims of employment discrimination. The resulting legislation was the first bill passed in 2009 after President Barack Obama took office.

In 2014, she dissented fiercely from the court's decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby, a decision that allowed some for-profit companies to refuse, on religious grounds, to comply with a federal mandate to cover birth control in health care plans. Such an exemption, she said, would "deny legions of women who do not hold their employers' beliefs, access to contraceptive coverage."

Where, she asked, "is the stopping point?" Suppose it offends an employer's religious belief "to pay the minimum wage" or "to accord women equal pay?"

And in 2013, when the court struck down a key provision of the Voting Rights Act, contending that times had changed and the law was no longer needed, Ginsburg dissented. She said that throwing out the provision "when it has worked and is continuing to work ... is like throwing away your umbrella in a rainstorm because you are not getting wet."

She viewed her dissents as a chance to persuade a future court.

"Some of my favorite opinions are dissenting opinions," Ginsburg told NPR. "I will not live to see what becomes of them, but I remain hopeful."

And yet, Ginsburg still managed some unexpected victories by winning over one or two of the conservative justices in important cases. In 2015, for example, she authored the court's decision upholding independent redistricting commissions established by voter referenda as a way of removing some of the partisanship in drawing legislative district lines.

Ginsburg always kept a backbreaking schedule of public appearances both at home and abroad, even after five bouts with cancer: colon cancer in 1999, pancreatic cancer 10 years later, lung cancer in 2018, and then pancreatic cancer again in 2019 and liver lesions in 2020. During that time, she endured chemotherapy, radiation, and in the last years of her life, terrible pain from shingles that never went away completely. All who knew her admired her grit. In 2009, three weeks after major cancer surgery, she surprised everyone when she showed up for the State of the Union address.

Shortly after that, she was back on the bench; it was her husband Marty who told her she could do it, even when she thought she could not, she told NPR.

A year later her psychological toughness was on full display when her beloved husband of 56 years was mortally ill. As she packed up his things at the hospital before taking him home to die, she found a note he had written to her. "My Dearest Ruth," it began, "You are the only person I have ever loved," setting aside children and family. "I have admired and loved you almost since the day we first met at Cornell....The time has come for me to ... take leave of life because the loss of quality simply overwhelms. I hope you will support where I come out, but I understand you may not. I will not love you a jot less."

Shortly after that, Marty Ginsburg died at home. The next day, his wife, the justice, was on the bench, reading an important opinion she had authored for the court. She was there, she said, because "Marty would have wanted it."

Years later, she would read the letter aloud in an NPR interview, and at the end, choke down the tears.

In the years after Marty's death, she would persevere without him, maintaining a jam-packed schedule when she was not on the bench or working on opinions.

Some liberals criticized her for not retiring while Obama was president, but she was at the top of her game, enjoyed her work enormously, and feared that Republicans might not confirm a successor. She was an avid consumer of opera, literature, and modern art. But in the end, it was her work, she said, that sustained her.

"I do think that I was born under a very bright star," she said in an NPR interview. "Because if you think about my life, I get out of law school. I have top grades. No law firm in the city of New York will hire me. I end up teaching; it gave me time to devote to the movement for evening out the rights of women and men. "

And it was that legal crusade for women's rights that ultimately led to her appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court.

To the end of her tenure, she remained a special kind of feminist, both decorous and dogged.

Phroyd

#scotus #ruth bader ginsburg #rip

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litakino · 4 years

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Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of Rose's death. Also, this November she would've been 30y/o.

She was a close friend of mine, and died of an aneurysm; she collapsed on stage while singing and playing the guitar, and died the next day.

Rose was the same age as my sister, two years younger than me, and her sister is my age and was my best friend. So the four of us were really close, almost like sisters. We would spend the summer holidays either with our family, or theirs, whichever family went to the beach that year.

She was such a big part of my life growing up, that it's weird thinking that she's "stuck" at 20, and I'm 32 now.

I'll try really hard to convey, how important she is to everyone who knew her. How missed she is.

She was so smart, like book smart, but also surprisingly insightful for a 20y/o.

I remember Rose telling me once "I wanted to know if I liked it, so I kissed a girl. But it's not for me". You have no idea how important that was for me. Like I've never even thought of the possibility of not being straight (raised catholic and very conservative), it's not that I was repressed, it was just something I never even considered before.

And she was from a family very much like mine, but able to break away and try her own path (it wasn't that she went around kissing people; and there's nothing wrong with being that person, but she just wasn't, I'm saying this to illustrate how important it was that she did it).

Rose also loved things with all her being. And she was never ashamed of the things she liked. Like she would go into forums and investigate about her heroes and know all there was to know about ER and Sarah McLachlan and Rent and U2 and musicals and Broadway and Wicked.

I'm writing because there's so much she would've done, so many what-ifs I feel I need to make her be present this way, this year.

She wasn't top of her class when she graduated high school, just because she didn't want to spend too much time studying. She was close second though, and that was just with minimal effort. She was a real life Hermione.

Also, Rose was tall, and big, and had long bushy hair. She had to buy her heels from drag queen shops bc her feet were so big, "regular" shoe shops didn't carry her size. And she was CONFIDENT. Like, loved to wear her hair down, big and all, no shits given.

And was really good at shopping for cool clothes, even though most traditionally "feminine" shops didn't carry her size (take into consideration, this was 2009/2010 and we grew up in a small city in Argentina, there weren't many shops available, and "plus size" meant grandma's clothes)

Her last birthday (2010) she rocked a really short shirt-dress with bright yellow tights, I can't even begin to imagine what her style might have been nowadays.

It took her some time to gain that confidence, went through the awkward baggy-pants-and-big-sweatshirt phase like most of us fat girls, but she already loved herself when she was finishing high school. It took me many more years to reach that stage.

I'm painting the best picture, since everything positive about her comes to mind these days.

That's not to say, she was perfect. She definitely wasn't. She was human and made mistakes and (I'm sure) hurt people.

She was loud and could be obnoxious sometimes, but there are very few teenagers and young adults who aren't.

Oh also, Rose really enjoyed singing. And she was really good at it.

She was studying to become an English teacher.

She was really spiritual, and sang in church every Sunday, and was part of the community.

I would love to speak to her now, about feminism and love and gender and sexuality and family. There's so much we didn't know back then, so much I want her insight into.

When I heard the Hamilton soundtrack, all I could think about was about her. And how much she would've loved it.

I want to have the opportunity to hear her rave about things like Lin Manuel Miranda, or Doctor Who, or Good Omens.

I'm glad Rose got to meet my (now) husband, and that she liked him is an endorsement like very few I can think of.

I wonder where she would be living now (I think Ireland or England, studying for her third master and singing in pubs some nights).

I know she would have finally found someone who saw her for who she was, and loved her for it. Perhaps a few whirlwind romances before that.

I wonder if she would've even wanted to have kids.

When Rose died, it was a shock, because no one saw it coming (both her parents are doctors, and the aneurysm was never diagnosed, she never had any syntoms before. And by the time she was rushed into the hospital, it was too late).

Afterwards, slowly but surely, all of her friends and family finished high school, then university. Some of us got married, some got kids. Some moved to other countries.

The year she died, I was out of the country, doing one of those work and travel programs, that encompass our summer (December through March), in WDW. It was something she had actually suggested, that she wanted to do, but last minutes backed out (I never knew why). I was far away from home, working 13-hour shifts (the holidays in the resort are madness). And after her death, a friend suggested some of us took the days off from two weeks, put them together, and take a 4-days trip to NYC. I didn't really have the money to do it, but said yes anyways because Rose wanted to attend Juilliard (childhood dreams), and so we said we were going to visit her in her break (more childhood dreaming). So I ended up eating rice and crackers for a few weeks in order to pay for travel and lodging, but it was so worth it. Everything there reminded me of her, of what she dreamed of doing, of becoming.

I miss her so much, and as I go through life and hit new "milestones", I wonder what she would be doing right now.

Yesterday some close friends and her family gathered (socially distant, and out in the open air) in our old high school. It's a place of 400 square meters, most of which are various sports' fields, and a small forest. It was a place she felt was home, and since the moment she said she wanted to become an English teacher, a spot was there waiting for her to finish her studies.

Anyways, there in the small forest, around the fallen walnut tree, people who loved her, and miss her, gathered, to remember her smiles and jokes and songs.

Her mother read a poem Rose wrote, and her sister sang the solo in "Seasons of Love".

It was lovely, and sad, and had her in every moment.

She is loved, and missed so so much.

#Spotify

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kingsborodaisy · 4 years

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( ZENDAYA, 22, FEMALE) I just bumped into [ DAISY GREENE ] the other day while walking down [ EAST ] Kingsboro, where [ SHE ] live. I hear they can be [ FREE SPIRITED ] and [ FLAKY ], but when I think of them I immediately think about [ THE LOUD STEREOS AT A LOCAL CONCERT VENUE, A ROADTRIP WITH NO CLEAR DESTIONATION, & SWEET TEA IN THE SUMMER]. ( sarah , 24, she/her, est )

Soooo here is my third child, Daisy. I hope you guys enjoy her! I drew some slight inspiration from past muses of mine and Peyton Sawyer from One Tree Hill.

Born and raised in a small, rural town in Georgia. Now, when I say small, I say SMALL. Like, a popular or less than 2,000 people. So, everyone generally always knew another. Close, tight knit community.

The youngest out of three children. She has two older brothers; one that is two years older and one that is four years older.

Grew up in a very strict, religious household. Went to church every Sunday. Prayed at dinner every night, read the bible constantly. Very, very strict and conservative family values, folks.

Her mother is a nurse and her father is a farmer and football coach. They grew up on a family farm with lots of land, animals, etc. She always had memories of waking up early to feed the pigs, cows, chickens, and knows how to ride a horse.

Ever since she could remember, she was involved in something. Started taking beauty lessons and dance classes as soon as she could walk. Daisy began doing local beauty pageants within the state and she was quick to become a star. She would win competition after competition, getting so many trophies and ribbons. They filled her room and home. The girl was miss teen Georgia for several years in a row, becoming Miss Teen USA when she was sixteen.

Also was involved with cheerleading and other clubs while she was in high school, she was very popular and always was nominated for dance royalties.

With being the only girl in the family, she was always on a rather tight leash. She was never allowed to date or be around boys, her family being afraid she was going to get heart broken.

As she got older, she began to question a lot of things. Her own religion and just herself in general? She always felt like she was being forced to be somebody she really wasn’t and having to live in the shadows of others, being molded to be somebody her parents loved and nothing more.

She began to express an interest for music when she was around 10, 11? Started covering country songs as apart of the talent portion of her competitions and as she got older, her taste in music switched to rock. Began to idolize people like Avril Lavinge, Hayley Williams, Joan Jett, etc. They just all seemed so cool and free-spirited. She wanted that.

High School went by quickly and she honestly didn’t want to go to college. She wanted to travel and move somewhere to start a music career. Daisy tried to explain this to her parents but they didn’t care, they thought it was a stupid idea.

Daisy would be stuck between a rock and a hard time. She would try to please her parents and go to college and major in something she would hate, or take a risk.

She somehow would get enough guts within herself to just, run away. Literally. The day before her high school graduation, she packed up everything she could and took her old, beat up pickup truck and left. She left a note explaining that this was what she needed. For the past almost eighteen years of her life, she didn’t even know who she was.

The young girl had no destination or true goal where she was going, she just needed to get away. Eventually made her way up until Tennessee before her truck would break down. A nice, old man would try to help fix it up for her but there was no hope for the Ford truck. He would offer to trade her truck for his old, newly renovated WV van. She took the offer and it would be the best thing to ever happen to her.

Daisy was now the proud owner of a baby blue, VW van that would be her home. Living out of a van was different and a challenge, but brought her so many amazing opportunities.

Over the next few years, she would be off the grind. She deleted all of her social media and didn’t keep in contact from anybody back home. She would travel all across the united states, her favorite places being California and Wyoming.

Daisy would stay in certain states for a few months at a time, working odd end jobs to make money. Mostly waitressing or playing local gigs. She wasn’t making much, but enough to get by.

Heard her cousin Spencer was living in New York and decided, hey, that’ll be my next stop for a bit.

Is very new to Kingsboro and has been there for a day. She’s not sure how long she’ll be here, but she’s enjoying it so far. Wants to try to start up a serious band and or meet other musicians in the neighborhood.

OTHER INFO:

It took her a long time to realize, but she considers herself pansexual.

Still very much has a cute lil’ southern accent

Her favorite drink is lemonade and sweet tea with lots of sugar

Is a strong lover of breakfast food

Has learned to accept more of her natural beauty, being forced to live behind fancy dresses, makeup, and hair for years

Can play the guitar and drums

Her van’s name is Wendy

#kingsboro.intro #( about )

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marnz · 4 years

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hi! hope youre doing well! i've noticed you tag fashion/gowns/etc with different fun tags like "she toppled rome with one look" and i was curious to know what details does a clothing piece have to qualify in each tag and what inspired them! thank you and take care 🤗

Anon this is the cutest question! Honestly they are aesthetic tags that I started using in like 2013 and they’ve sort of stuck with me and some i put a lot of thought into and some i’m just like ‘wow so pretty gotta slap that on my blog.’ I’ve put this under a cut because it’s a bit long

She Toppled Rome with One Look - the tag started with this picture of a woman in classic pumps standing on a roman mosaic. I liked the idea of the modern meeting the ancient and I also started using it on dresses that seemed really epic and queenly...like if Cleopatra had invaded Rome instead of having to watch Egypt be gradually colonized by them. Since I started it in 2013 it’s very “”weaponized femininity”” but sometimes i just want to admire how badass gowns can be.

Hard Queen - the idea of the female embodiment of the state, which is usually seen as delicate and feminine, wearing armor...the exploration of queens as figureheads, and how the state is inherently violent, which people see at odds with femininity (it isn’t!), how, as Charles Tilley puts it, “war made the state and the state made war.” Monarchy is a particular kind of violent state but all what we understand to be the state in a capitalist government state means all states are violent. And yet..throughout history (Elizabeth I springs to mind) queens are often seen as vulnerable, delicate, and lesser than Kings, reduced to either saintly virgin or holy mother, so it is just interesting, to me, to explore that dichotomy. Also the idea of armor being inherently masculine (no), and acknowledging how hard it is to find women wearing armor who aren’t sexualized, how androgyny is seen as masculine (ridiculous), how femininity is something, at least in my own head, that is to be queried over and over again, if only so I can have an understanding of what it means to me as opposed to what it means to the world/society. This tag is hard to explain.

I Want To Feel Powerful - this is a line Allison says on Teen Wolf (lmao). But it has become my punk tag. If Hard Queen is about the conflict of being a delicate feminine lady but also a violent state, this is just about...wearing leather with spikes. Motorcycles come to mind.

Metallic Overlords - my robot tag. At first it was just like, ok, robots, they’re metallic, some of these dresses look like things robots would wear, but now it’s also become, wow the violence inherent in mining and how most of the time these precious resources (jewels, gold, all of it) are the result of colonialism and blood struggle...so the overlord part has become a bit more dual edged than I originally intended

Space Goddess - celestial dresses or anything with a celestial aesthetic, especially since space is seen as as a man’s domain (lol so dumb...Sally Ride is right there) and also because space is interpreted as a godless place, a place that is beyond religion because religion and science are depicted at odds. In my opinion this is ridiculous--this is just because conservative christian/white male atheist viewpoints are given more air time than anyone else!!!!!! anyway. I like stars.

Be Your Own Pope - the Pope was the most powerful man in the western world for hundreds of years! I am interested in the vestments of the Catholic Church...I am interested in the power conferred by clothes and how clothes are symbols of authority. I am interested in the catholic aesthetic of gilt/gold/ivory and jewels and the Very Specific Shade of Red...and this may be the Protestant in me but all of this fancy stuff just screams corruption to me because Jesus was like, “i don’t fuck with rich people, they do not go to heaven” and the Catholic Church is out there doing the most across the millennia. I love the aesthetic--red/white/gold goes off--but also I must emphasize how much I hate the catholic church as an organization/power structure. And yet catholicism (all religion, really, but we’re talking about catholicism) and art are closely linked! Anyway...there’s this line from The Golem’s Eye where one of the MCs observes that the more adornment army uniforms have, the worse the actual army is. That’s what comes to mind. I have been thinking about this a lot because of my novel

History as Fashion - the idea of wearing the past, marrying it to the present, the way the present changes the past, the way our methods for making clothing are both handed down across time and lost to time...I love it. I especially love it when it’s traditional or cultural fashion, like, a lot of fashion is monotonous because of western colonialism & capitalism (arguably one and the same) and reaching across history to challenge that is metal as fuck! Clothes are important!!!

The Sky as a Skirt - just dresses that remind me of sunsets. there’s nothing deep about this

Shoulder High We Bring You Home - “Today, the road all runners come / Shoulder-high we bring you home / And set you at your threshold down / Townsman of a stiller town.” this is from To An Athlete Dying Young by A. E. Housman, which I read in high school along with All Quiet on the Western Front. Because of this I have always read the poem as being about soldiers and specifically the way we valorize and glorify war while avoiding it’s realities, such as death. this this is literally not what it’s about but that’s ok. this is my very specific classic menswear tag, menswear that, to me, evokes uniforms. Now it’s mostly about menswear and lapels and sexy coats, but sometimes it is about men and flowers because of the line about flower garlands/laurel crown/the link between flowers and glory and flowers about soldiers...this tag is a fucking mess.

i also have non clothes aesthetic tags or tags about writing project (glowing au / devil au / time’s shroud) but yeah! i hope this was helpful/interesting and not hopelessly pretentious and dull. :)

#answered #long post #me

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lgbtqareads · 5 years

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15 Books I Want To Read That are Releasing in the Next 6 Monthes

Every six monthes, I am excited to see the new LGBTQA+ YA books of the next monthes and while thos December, I was a little weirded out to not find them on B&N Teen previews, I was happy to see that Dahlia Adler posted her lists and opinions at lgbtqreads.com. So, of course I went through and narrowed the list from 72 to 34 to 15, only choosing books that I felt I really wanted to read and not just fall for all the amazing synopses and covers, which let's be honest, are all truly masterpieces.

But enough introduction. Let's get into my to be bought (and read) list of the first six monthes of 2020:

We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding - JANUARY 7TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Told in dual timelines—half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward—We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy’s name) and Kat are inseparable, but by graduation, they’re no longer friends. James prepares to head off to college as she reflects on the dissolution of her friendship with Kat while, in alternating chapters, Kat thinks about being newly in love with her first girlfriend and having a future that feels wide open. Over the course of senior year, Kat wants nothing more than James to continue to be her steady rock, as James worries that everything she believes about love and her future is a lie when her high-school sweetheart parents announce they’re getting a divorce. Funny, honest, and full of heart, We Used to Be Friends tells of the pains of growing up and growing apart.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Relationship breakups may be heavily covered in YA, but friendship breakup stories are still few and far between. Enter the story of James and Kat, two girls who were once beyond close and now watch their friendship unravel as college nears. Things are complicated for both girls: James’s mother has left her and her father for another guy, and she doesn’t know how to talk about it, not even to Kat or her still-too-present ex, Logan. Kat’s discovering that her feelings for her new friend Quinn aren’t strictly “friendly,” and in fact, she’s realizing she’s bisexual and falling head over heels for a girl. It’s a bittersweet story to be sure, and while it definitely has its fun scenes, close moments, painful familial interactions, and tingly romance (what Spalding book doesn’t??), you’ll spend much of the book wishing you could push the characters together and say “Just talk already”…but isn’t that exactly how life goes?

My Opinion: As someone who has been through too many friendship breakups to count, this read is going to be devastating. But I put this book on my list for one reason: the synopsis made it feel so much like life that I couldn't help but feel that the story would pull me into James and Kat's universe and tear my heart into pieces. I absolutely cannot wait to have my heartbroken.

-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×

The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper - FEBRUARY 4TH

Goodreads Synopsis: As a successful social media journalist with half a million followers, seventeen-year-old Cal is used to sharing his life online. But when his pilot father is selected for a highly publicized NASA mission to Mars, Cal and his family relocate from Brooklyn to Houston and are thrust into a media circus.

Amidst the chaos, Cal meets sensitive and mysterious Leon, another “Astrokid,” and finds himself falling head over heels—fast. As the frenzy around the mission grows, so does their connection. But when secrets about the program are uncovered, Cal must find a way to reveal the truth without hurting the people who have become most important to him.

Expertly capturing the thrill of first love and the self-doubt all teens feel, debut author Phil Stamper is a new talent to watch.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: This is a lovely and bighearted debut chock full of space nerdery, big dreams, new beginnings, and social media scandal. Cal’s life is completely uprooted when his dad shocks them all by being chosen for a space mission, something his family had never taken seriously as a lifelong dream. Worst of all, he’s forbidden from documenting life in the new compound, forcing him to leave his massive social media following behind. On the bright side, there’s Leon, son of another astronaut on the program and immediate thief of Cal’s heart. But when things go awry in the program and secrets are revealed, Cal will have to decide exactly what he’s willing to do to get the truth out there, and who he’s willing to lose.

My Opinion: Social Media? Media circus? Texas? NASA? First loves? And a choice that could implode Cal's life from the inside? The name Cal? Other than Texas, a state which I hate, all of this adds up to something good, hopefully so good that I can forget that Texas is involved at all. So, basically, it has to reach Red, White, and Royal Blue levels, which is the only book so far that has made me like Texas at all. But I trust that it will do well. Plus it was reviewed by 4 of authors on my queer bookshelf - Becky Albertalli, Adam Silvera, Shaun David Hutchinson, and Caleb Roehrig. Bonus points for not being a graphic novel like I feared it was.

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Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales -MARCH 3RD

Goodreads Synopsis: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets Clueless, inspired by Grease.

When Ollie meets his dream guy, Will, over summer break, he thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After. But once summer’s ended, Will stops texting him back, and Ollie finds himself one prince short of a fairytale ending. To complicate the fairytale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country—Will’s school—where Ollie finds that the sweet, affectionate and comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted—and, to be honest, a bit of a jerk.

Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship. But as Will starts ‘coincidentally’ popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again.

Right? Right.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Grease goes gay YA in this rom-com about two boys whose dreamy summer fling comes crashing into a harsh reality when our lead, Oliver, transfers to Will’s school thanks to a family crisis-driven move, only to find out Will isn’t Out and isn’t about to be. As Ollie finds his own ways to settle in, he can’t seem to shake Will’s presence. But whether there’s a future for them remains to be seen. This sophomore novel is warmly delightful and delightfully warm, with some tears on the side for the aforementioned family crisis, and some hard-earned queer solidarity is the icing on the cake.

My Opinion: The last musical-ly queer book I read was What If It's Us? so Ollie and Will have a lot to live up to, but it gets points for getting an Instagram shoutout from Becky Albertalli herself. From the synopses, it sounds like a case of strangers to lovers to strangers to maybe friends to maybe something more and hopefully a happy ending, but what I look forward to the most is rewriting Summer Nights as I read this book.

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Super Adjacent by Crystal Cestari - MARCH 17TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Claire has always wanted to work with superheroes, from collecting Warrior Nation cards as a kid to drafting "What to Say to a Hero" speeches in her diary. Now that she's landed a coveted internship with the Chicago branch of Warrior Nation, Claire is ready to prove she belongs, super or not. But complicating plans is the newest WarNat hero, Girl Power (aka Joy), who happens to be egotistical and self-important ... and pretty adorable.

Bridgette, meanwhile, wants out of WarNat. After years of dating the famous Vaporizer (aka Matt), she's sick of playing second, or third, or five-hundredth fiddle to all the people-in-peril in the city of Chicago. Of course, once Bridgette meets Claire-who's clearly in need of a mentor and wingman-giving up WarNat becomes slightly more complicated. It becomes a lot more complicated when Joy, Matt, and the rest of the heroes go missing, leaving only Claire and Bridgette to save the day.

In this fresh and funny take on the world of supers, author Crystal Cestari spotlights what it's like to be the seemingly non-super half of a dynamic duo with banter-filled romance and bold rescues perfect for readers seeking a great escape.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Claire is a superhero fangirl, a card-carrying member of Warrior Nation. And when she finds an unexpected way (with some unexpected help) into winning an internship with the Chicago WarNat branch, it should be everything she’s ever dreamed of. But that unexpected help is proving very difficult to work with; it’s in the form of Girl Power (aka Joy), the newest hero and a pain in Claire’s butt. A very, very cute pain in Claire’s butt. But distraction or no distraction, Claire’s determined to prove herself, especially when she and Bridgette, a WarNat, who’s tired of being “the girlfriend” to an even more famous hero, decides to mentor her and they end up having to be exactly the heroes Chicago needs.

My Opinion: Two words. Super. Heroes.

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Music From Another World by Robin Talley - MARCH 31ST

Goodreads Synopsis: It’s summer 1977 and closeted lesbian Tammy Larson can’t be herself anywhere. Not at her strict Christian high school, not at her conservative Orange County church and certainly not at home, where her ultrareligious aunt relentlessly organizes antigay political campaigns. Tammy’s only outlet is writing secret letters in her diary to gay civil rights activist Harvey Milk…until she’s matched with a real-life pen pal who changes everything.

Sharon Hawkins bonds with Tammy over punk music and carefully shared secrets, and soon their letters become the one place she can be honest. The rest of her life in San Francisco is full of lies. The kind she tells for others—like helping her gay brother hide the truth from their mom—and the kind she tells herself. But as antigay fervor in America reaches a frightening new pitch, Sharon and Tammy must rely on their long-distance friendship to discover their deeply personal truths, what they’ll stand for…and who they’ll rise against.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Talley is one of queer YA’s most prolific genre jumpers, but she seems to be making herself beautifully at home in historical with this follow-up to 2018’s Pulp, again set amid a context of vital queer American history. This time around, it’s 1977, and Tammy Larson would love more than anything to come out of the closet as a lesbian, but that’s a major no-go where she lives. Her only outlet is to write “letters” to the activist Harvey Milk, at least until she’s matched with a pen pal to whom she can write letters for real. Sharon makes for a much better companion than Tammy’s diary, and she can sympathize, given her brother is gay and feeling all the same misery in the wake of Anita Bryant’s leading to a successful repeal of their protections. Together they’ll find their own brand of activism and learn to fight back against a world of hate.

My Opinion: Ever since reading Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden, I have been craving more historical sapphic girls. With Pulp in my Kindle library and this in my future shopping cart + Casey McQuiston's time traveling book in 2021, I am bound to get a fix for that craving soon. Hopefully, it will also cure heartbreak.

Loveless by Alice Oseman - APRIL 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman – one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.

Georgia feels loveless – in the romantic sense, anyway. She’s eighteen, never been in a relationship, or even had a crush on a single person in her whole life. She thinks she's an anomaly, people call her weird, and she feels a little broken. But she still adores romance – weddings, fan fiction, and happily ever afters. She knows she’ll find her person one day … right?

After a disastrous summer, Georgia is now at university, hundreds of miles from home. She is more determined than ever to find love – and her annoying roommate, Rooney, is a bit of a love expert, so perhaps she can help.

But maybe Georgia just doesn’t feel that way about guys. Or girls. Or anyone at all. Maybe that's okay. Maybe she can find happiness without falling in love. And maybe Rooney is a little more loveless than she first appears.

LOVELESS is a journey of identity, self-acceptance, and finding out how many different types of love there really are. And that no one is really loveless after all.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Oseman’s crossed the pond before with Radio Silence, so this American’s fingers are crossed she’ll do it again with her newest, about a girl named Georgia who’s struggling with the fact that she’s eighteen and has never had so much as a crush. She’s sick of people thinking she’s broken or weird, and it isn’t like she isn’t into romance; she’s just not into it for herself. When she gets to university, she thinks maybe she can “fix” things with her roommate’s help. But what if it turns out there’s nothing to fix, and Georgia’s great and perfectly capable of happiness just as she is?

My Opinion: Alice Oseman has written a-spec characters before, but it's possible that this seemingly aromantic character will be the one that I'll read first. Not to say Radio Silence wasn't amazing, I just wouldn't know. But I can't wait to find out when I read it after I read this one. And then maybe her other books too.

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Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan - APRIL 21ST

Goodreads Synopsis: Jubilee has it all together. She’s an elite cellist, and when she’s not working in her stepmom’s indie comic shop, she’s prepping for the biggest audition of her life. Ridley is barely holding it together. His parents own the biggest comic-store chain in the country, and Ridley can’t stop disappointing them–that is, when they’re even paying attention. They meet one fateful night at a comic convention prom, and the two can’t help falling for each other. Too bad their parents are at each other’s throats every chance they get, making a relationship between them nearly impossible . . . unless they manage to keep it a secret. Then again, the feud between their families may be the least of their problems. As Ridley’s anxiety spirals, Jubilee tries to help but finds her focus torn between her fast-approaching audition and their intensifying relationship. What if love can’t conquer all? What if each of them needs more than the other can give?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Dugan debuted with one of my absolute favorite queer YA rom-coms (seriously, if you haven’t yet read Hot Dog Girl, do yourself a favor), so I’m thrilled to see her returning with another one, this one an m/f pairing where both halves of the couple are bi (or, more accurately, one is bi and one is still figuring it out). [Jubilee] is an elite cellist with a major audition coming up and a side job working at her stepmom’s indie comic shop. Ridley works at his parents’ comic shop too, only theirs is a big chain, and no friend to the little guy. Which makes it a little difficult when the two meet at a comic-con prom and immediately hit it off, despite their family feud. I’ll take Romeo & Juliet with a much happier ending and heaps of bisexuality any day, wouldn’t you?

My Opinion: Romeo and Juliet retelling + comic convention prom + bisexuality + indie comic shops = a recipe for me to like a book.

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When You Get the Chance by Tom Ryan and Robin Stevenson-MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis: [Edited] Cousins Mark [from the East coast of Canada] and Talia [from the West coast of Canada] go on a road trip to Pride in Toronto as they search for love and adventure and uncover family secrets along the way.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: One of the things I’m often asked to recommend is books that feature mlm and wlw solidarity, and I especially love giving answers that show it not just in characters but in authorship. Here, two Canadian rock stars of queer YA come together with a story about cousins named Mark and Talia who are reunited from their respective Canadian coasts after a death in the family and decide to take a road trip together to Toronto so Talia can see her non-binary partner and Mark can get to Pride. The two don’t have much in common, and they’ll have to let Mark’s little sister tag along, but they both know some kind of magic awaits them in TO, and they can’t wait to get there.

My Opinion: There is too much to love about this book. Canada! WLW or WLNB/MLM solidarity! Canadian road trip! Road trips in general! Canadian Pride! PRIDE IN GENERAL! A nonbinary s/o! TORONTO, CANADA! And family secrets! Plus it gives off You Know Me Well vibes, and that's one of my favorites.

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The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune - MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Some people are extraordinary. Some are just extra.

Nick Bell? Not extraordinary. But being the most popular fanfiction writer in the Extraordinaries fandom is a superpower, right?

After a chance encounter with Shadow Star, Nova City’s mightiest hero (and Nick’s biggest crush), Nick sets out to make himself extraordinary. And he’ll do it with or without the reluctant help of Seth Gray, Nick’s best friend (and maybe the love of his life).

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Klune’s doing double duty this year (or maybe even more? Damn, it’s hard to keep up), following up an adult contemporary fantasy with his first entry into YA, about a boy named Nick who happens to be the Extraordinaries fandom’s most popular fanfic writer, and who aims to be even more extraordinary when he meets the hero he’s been crushing on. (But maybe he’s in love with his best friend, Seth? It’s complicated. It’s always complicated.)

My Opinion: What can I say? I'm a sucker for books about fanfic writers. And for best friends to lovers stories, so hopefully this is one, and not a fan-dates-hero story.

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The Summer of Impossibilities by Rachel Allen - MAY 12TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Skyler, Ellie, Scarlett and Amelia Grace are forced to spend the summer at the lake house where their moms became best friends.

One can’t wait. One would rather gnaw off her own arm than hang out with a bunch of strangers just so their moms can drink too much wine and sing Journey two o’clock in the morning. Two are sisters. Three are currently feuding with their mothers.

One almost sets her crush on fire with a flaming marshmallow. Two steal the boat for a midnight joyride that goes horribly, awkwardly wrong. All of them are hiding something.

One falls in love with a boy she thought she despised. Two fall in love with each other. None of them are the same at the end of the summer.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Allen’s been a personal favorite of mine since her subversive feminist debut, 17 First Kisses, and I’m thrilled to see her releasing her first queer YA, which basically looks like a gay Traveling Pants except not all the girls actually wanna be spending the summer together at the lake house where their moms became besties. Most of them can’t even stand their moms right now. All of them have secrets. And two of them…well, two of them are in love with each other, so one way or another it’s gonna be a hell of a summer.

My Opinion: Look, I'm going to be honest, I saw that it was co.pared to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and I immediately added it to my list. Plus, strangers to friends to lovers? I love.

Date Me, Bryson Keller! by Kevin van Whye - MAY 19TH

Goodreads Synopsis: What If It's Us meets To All the Boys I've Loved Before in this upbeat and heartfelt boy-meets-boy romance that feels like a modern twist on a '90s rom-com!

Everyone knows about the dare: Each week, Bryson Keller must date someone new--the first person to ask him out on Monday morning. Few think Bryson can do it. He may be the king of Fairvale Academy, but he's never really dated before.

Until a boy asks him out, and everything changes.

Kai Sheridan didn't expect Bryson to say yes. So when Bryson agrees to secretly go out with him, Kai is thrown for a loop. But as the days go by, he discovers there's more to Bryson beneath the surface, and dating him begins to feel less like an act and more like the real thing. Kai knows how the story of a gay boy liking someone straight ends. With his heart on the line, he's awkwardly trying to navigate senior year at school, at home, and in the closet, all while grappling with the fact that this "relationship" will last only five days. After all, Bryson Keller is popular, good-looking, and straight . . . right?

Kevin van Whye delivers an uplifting and poignant coming-out love story that will have readers rooting for these two teens to share their hearts with the world--and with each other.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: If this book looks like the cutest, fluffiest, most make-you-melt kind of romance, it’s because it is…at least in the little romantic bubble that ensued when when Kai took advantage of a dare that requires Bryson Keller to agree to date the first person to ask him out every Monday morning for that week. But outside the bubble, the world is still wondering who Bryson Keller’s mystery girlfriend is, the one person not to shout from the rooftops that she’s got the guy. And Kai isn’t gonna be the one to tell them it isn’t a girl at all; his spontaneous request made Bryson the first and only person he’s ever come out to. But when both the answer and Kai himself are forcibly outed, he and the boy he’s come to fall for, the boy who’s only just realized he himself is gay, will have to band together and put their relationship through the ultimate test.

My Opinion: A lot of these books are comparing themselves to Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, and this one's even comparing itself to To All the Boys I've Loved Before, so it's basically setting me up for disappointment, but I will admit, I am judging this book by it's cover, and that smile is too cute to resist.

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I Kissed Alice by Anna Birch - MAY 26TH

Goodreads Synopsis: For fans of Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda and Fangirl, I Kissed Alice is a romantic comedy about enemies, lovers, and everything in between.

Rhodes and Iliana couldn't be more different, but that's not why they hate each other. Hyper-gifted artist Rhodes has always excelled at Alabama's Conservatory of the Arts despite a secret bout of creator's block, while transfer student Iliana tries to outshine everyone with her intense, competitive work ethic. Since only one of them can get the coveted Capstone scholarship, the competition between them is fierce.

They both escape the pressure on a fanfic site where they are unknowingly collaborating on a graphic novel. And despite being worst enemies in real life, their anonymous online identities I-Kissed-Alice and Curious-in-Cheshire are starting to like each other...a lot. When the truth comes out, will they destroy each other's future?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Sign me the hell up for literally every enemies-to-lovers f/f rom-com, but especially this one, where the girls who hate each other at Alabama’s Conservatory for the Arts have no idea they’re falling for each other online as they collaborate on a graphic novel for a fanfic site under their online identities. That’s…everything I love in book? Yep, pretty much!

My Opinion: This one is on my list because Alice is basically my favorite sapphic girl name ever after my rewrite of the song, All the Girls Love Alice. Unfortunately, neither girl is named Alice, but it does seem to involve something about Alice in Wonderland. Maybe the graphic novel they're creating is a queer retelling of the classic story? Can't wait to find out.

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Six Angry Girls by Adrienne Kisner - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: A story of mock trial, feminism, and the inherent power found in a pair of knitting needles.

Raina Petree is crushing her senior year, until her boyfriend dumps her, the drama club (basically) dumps her, the college of her dreams slips away, and her arch-nemesis triumphs.

Things aren’t much better for Millie Goodwin. Her father treats her like a servant, and the all-boy Mock Trial team votes her out, even after she spent the last three years helping to build its success.

But then, an advice columnist unexpectedly helps Raina find new purpose in a pair of knitting needles and a politically active local yarn store. This leads to an unlikely meeting in the girls’ bathroom, where Raina inspires Millie to start a rival team. The two join together and recruit four other angry girls to not only take on Mock Trial, but to smash the patriarchy in the process.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Kisner is three for three in putting gloriously queer YA on shelves, and I am in love with the idea of this newest, which takes the famous “Twelve Angry Men” and situates it in Mock Trial with an ace lead. Raina’s killing it at life, until suddenly she isn’t. Millie’s in a similar spot, having just been ousted from the all-male Mock Trial team. When the two pair up to start a rival girls’ team, it isn’t just their opponents they’re gunning for—it’s the whole motherfluffin’ patriarchy.

My Opinion:

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The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The State of Us is the story of Dean and Dre—the 16-year-old sons of the Republican and Democratic candidates for President of the United States—who fall in love on the sidelines of their parents' presidential campaigns.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Tis the year for political YAs, for obvious reasons, and this contemporary romance also does double duty of being a touching demisexual coming out story that happens to take place across the aisle. (The political aisle, that is.) When Dean, the son the of the Republican candidate, and Dre, son of the Democratic candidate, find themselves locked in close quarters, they’re surprised to find that they quite enjoy the company of someone else who knows what it’s like to be in the junior spotlight. Soon, romance sparks, which is a bit of problem considering the whole “opponents” thing, not to mention Dean still trying to figure out how to deal with and discuss the fact that he’s demisexual. But someone out there seems determined to make their problem much, much bigger, and they’ll have to figure out who wants their relationship outed, how they can make it work, and how they can reconcile a future.

My Opinion: While unfortunately this love story has no Prince from England or Wales, this book is definitely in the same genre as Red, White, and Royal Blue, though of course Dean and Dre will be more YA than our favorite international political couple. No matter what, I can tell I'm going to love the angst in this one.

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The Falling in Love Montage by Clara Smyth - JUNE 9TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited.So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out.

But after a chance encounter at a house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms.

Unbothered by Saoirse’s rulebook, Ruby proposes a loophole: They don’t need true love to have one summer of fun, complete with every cliché, rom-com montage-worthy date they can dream up—and a binding agreement to end their romance come fall. It would be the perfect plan, if they weren’t forgetting one thing about the Falling in Love Montage: when it’s over, the characters actually fall in love… for real.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis:

Love books that make you laugh, swoon, and cry? Then you are going to fall head over heels for Smyth’s debut, an Ireland-set romantic contemporary about a girl named Saiorse who’s losing her mother to early-onset dementia and is determined never to get involved with anyone as a result…until she meets Ruby, and all bets are off. The girls agree to a no-strings-attached summer of just the good parts of romance, the movie montage where the couple does all sorts of fun things as they fall in love. But when the end of the summer comes, will they be able to let go?

My Opinion: The falling in love montage is my favorite part of love stories and I can't wait to read one set in Ireland! No strings attached? I don't think so Saiorse and Ruby. If they aren't together by the end of the book, I'll be tying the strings myself and writing fanfiction for days. I've only had one relationship that would qualify for a falling in love montage, most likely because I've only been in love once, and that's... ended, so I need something to fill my heart and this book just might be it.

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Check out @lgbtqreads for more recommendations and check out the link at the top of the post for the rest of the list!

#we used to be friends amy spalding #the gravity of us phil stamper #only mostly devastated sophie gonzales #super adjacent crystal cestari #music from another world robin talley #loveless alice oseman #verona comics jennifer dugan #when you get the chance tom ryan & robin stevenson #the extraordinaries tj klune #the summer of impossibilities rachel allen #date me bryson keller! kevin van whye #i kissed alice anna birch #six angry girls adrienne kisner #the state of us shaun david hutchinson #the falling in love montage ciara smyth #2020 reads #lgbtqareads book recs

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fundielicious-simblr · 3 years

Text

How did you guys meet?

Elaine: Church was a focal point in my childhood, with our father and grandfather being the pastors we were there almost everyday for different kinds of events. I discovered my love of teaching very early in my childhood, I used to assist and eventually took over the church Sunday school program. After finishing highschool, I expressed interest in getting my teaching certification so I could do it to the best of my ability. After getting my qualification I started teaching at a local homeschool co-op that ran on various christian homeschool curriculums that I’d studied. I was 23 when I met (or should I say re-met) Sebastian, we’d initially met when I was 17 and him 18. His family moved to the area and started attending our church, but soon after they moved to the area he graduated high school and left for university in another town. He’d come home for the holidays but we’d never speak due to the business of the holiday season, or because we’d be travelling to see our family. In those 6 years that he was away I’d gotten close to his family, his younger sisters attended the co-op that I taught at but in older grades so I saw them if I was acting as a substitute teacher. When he moved back is when we were properly introduced and had a proper conversation, and I have to say I was impressed with the man he’d become (Praise the Lord for puberty). We got to know each other and I realised I had a little bit of a crush on him. What was great, what was even better was when he approached my dad to ask if he could get to know me better. My dad came to me and it was the green light from me.

Taylor: Like Elaine, I grew up in a fairly conservative Christian home, we were in church at least twice a week and attended the various revivals, meetings, and conferences that were available to us. My dad worked as a coordinator for a local christian organisation that put on large regional conferences, and my mother stayed home to manage the house and to homeschool me and my 6 younger siblings. As a young boy I had a fascination for robotics and would use my chore money, birthday money, and christmas money to get myself remote controlled toys and things to take apart and put back together to see if I could make them work. When I was 14 my mother put us into a homeschool co-op so that I could access advanced mathematics and physics classes as I’d excelled past the curriculum that she used for us at home. I already knew what I wanted to do at university, so I began working a part-time job in highschool as well as working towards scholarships so I could get a degree in engineering. We moved to Newcrest in my final year of highschool, but since we homeschooled it was easier to pick up and move with little disruption. I’d initially met Elaine and her family when we moved, but I was months away from moving and my head was in a million other places. After moving away I only ever came back for a few holidays, half the time I’d be seeing my family in Newcrest and the other half we’d be seeing either my mother’s or father’s side. I moved back after landing a position that opened at the Newcrest location of the engineering firm that I started working at after graduation. Getting reintroduced to Elaine was a great blessing for me, I was definitely open to a relationship but at the time no one had struck my fancy. Seeing the woman Elaine had grown into made me want to get to know her more, so after talking to my parents I approached her dad and asked if it was a possibility.

How was the courtship period for you?

Elaine: We ended up courting for almost a year, we really took the time to get to know each other as well as each other's families. We talked through our individual beliefs and what convictions we had that were ‘set in stone’ and which ones we could come to an agreement on. Eventually when we’d been together longer we’d go on each others’ family vacations, I travelled to Mt Komorebi with his family and he came to a few family bible camp sessions and to the lake with mine. In terms of the rules we set for our courtship, we chose to hold hands and hug before engagement whilst we saved our first kiss for marriage. We had our younger siblings as chaperones when necessary for them, other times we were out with other couples or in a group that meant we didn’t need singular chaperones. We had the longest courtship out of all of my siblings, and after the first 6 months the wedding questions started and didn’t seem to stop until we got engaged at our anniversary. We went out to dinner at the end of the school year for what I thought was a celebration of our relationship and the end of the school year. There was this upscale restaurant that I’d always wanted to go to, so Taylor got us a reservation there for our anniversary and we had a nice date night without chaperones. During dessert the staff came out with a chocolate pastry that had my rings inside!

Taylor: My parents had brought me up with the idea that I should be saving my first kiss for my wife, so when we started courting we sat down and decided what we wanted to do and how we wanted to do it. We’d balance date nights with family holidays since we both had pretty busy work schedules with me being at the office or the factory and her teaching. Since our families already knew each other it saved us the time introducing them to one another, it also meant that everyone was on the same page. We didn’t really need chaperones if we were around large groups of people, so whenever we’d attend church events or other fellowship event. It was great getting to spend that time learning about each other and what we wanted for the future, sometimes after work we’d have a picnic in the park and just talk for hours until we’d have to part ways. I decided to propose on our anniversary as I felt it was the perfect timing, we were celebrating a year of being together as well as Elaine finishing another year of teaching. I’d asked her father around 8 months in, but wanted to wait until summer to propose due to the busyness of what was happening at the time. Our anniversary dinner was a great way to celebrate us now and the proposal was a great way to celebrate the future that we’d have.

#fundie sims #fundiesims #quiverfull sims #quiver full sims #sims 4 legacy #Gen 2 Love Stories #Elaine and Taylor #collins family #collins legacy #homeschool sims #modest sims #post #these two are cutesy #whenever i mean to have the posts be short and sweet is when they end up being long and creative wow #this is the final long winded story because these are the last ‘fundie’ couple #the rest are just conservative christians so it’ll be short stories

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star-anise · 5 years

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What exactly do the Freemasons like. Do. I see their lodges and stuff and obvi hear Conspiracy Theories, but I know next to nothing else about them. Are they a religion??? A nonprofit??? A cool club??? Why only penis-havers???

They’re like………… a social society for mutual moral improvement??????????

Full disclaimer, as I don’t have a penis I’m not a Freemason, but p much all my paternal relatives at least one generation older than me were Masons, and my mother/grandmother were involved in the women’s groups, and I was in the girls’ group. (To get into the women’s branches, you usually have to be the female relative or wife of a Freemason.) So I’ve only ever been to public installations, seen the closed meetings of the girls’ group, or sat downstairs with the Eastern Star ladies in the kitchen waiting for the men to get our of their meetings.

So what I know is, the meetings involve a lot of really formal ritual, like, everybody has to recite a lot of speeches written centuries ago, and there’s a special way you’re supposed to walk across the floor, and a special way you open up the door, and of course there are secret handshakes, etc etc etc.

There’s also a social element of it that’s like “go out and meet your friends at the country club” or whatever–after meetings, everyone goes downstairs and eats premade sandwiches and Nanaimo bars and talks about the weather, and there are family BBQs and annual conferences, my group had a twice-annual semiformal dance, etc.

Because the meetings are all closed, and you have to be vouched for by another Freemason to join, and often the membership as a whole has to vote to admit you, they’ve historically functioned as a really effective network for freethinkers and radicals to meet and communicate. Like, many of the ringleaders of the American Independence movement and the French Revolution were Freemasons. 1/3 of all US presidents are Freemasons.

These days they’re a lot more politically conservative than radical. What my dad and I have talked about and agreed on is that for our ancestors, white people who immigrated to western Canada over a century ago, Freemasonry was the way create a selective little club with the “right” sort of people. The town’s rich white business owners might all go to different churches or maybe even a synagogue, but they’d all meet at the Masonic Hall. And the youth branches for boys and girls intermix a lot, so it’s also a way to make sure your kids hang out with and date the “right” sort of people.

The big thing they “do” is philanthropy–either they pick some random charity that they decide they want to raise money for, or decide they want to raise money for charity and then pick someone to throw it at. You know the Shriners Hospitals for Children? The requirement to become a Shriner is to be a Freemason of a certain degree.

So I mean, Freemasonry has traditionally been the invisible backbone of the good ol’ boys club, but they also realize that they’re becoming obsolete if they don’t change something fast; I bet they let trans women stay because if an old and established member was like “All right lads, I’m a woman now,” they’d be like “GOD NO DON’T LEAVE WE WON’T BE ABLE TO MAKE QUORUM WITHOUT YOOOUUUU”.

I think if, you know, thousands of leftists worldwide were like, “Sweet, let’s join the Illuminati” and became members of lodges and pushed them to use their structure and resources for leftist causes, it might be possible to tilt Freemasonry that way if the fascists haven’t gotten there first.

#staranise original #cripplepunkrock

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alarriefantasy · 5 years

Note

do you know of any fics where they are christians and they follow kinda that typical “christian relationship”? no angst please, i get so sad reading it. thank you, love your blog!!

Here you go! I swore I had made this one already, but alas, I have not! Hope you like some of these! The ones starred (*) are the ones that don’t have angst! :) :)

Religion Fic Rec

*how many secrets can you keep? by xxPayne

Words: 11k

Harry, a homophobic Christian, joins Louis' gay-straight alliance club at school, hoping to somehow attract lesbians (he'll work out the logistics later). Louis shows him what he didn't know he was actually there for.

*all i trust, i leave my heart to by prettyoddnjh

Words: 13k

Salzburg, Austria. 1938.

Harry Styles is a young man who, despite his protests, will never be a Catholic priest. He is assigned a summer job as a governor for the six siblings of Mr. Tomlinson, a wealthy ex-navy soldier who runs his household like a navy ship. They fall in love.

The Sound of Music AU that a couple people did ask for, if you can believe it.

*Have A Little Faith In Me by FallingLikeThis

Words: 15k

Harry Styles remembers Louis Tomlinson fondly. They used to spend the summers bonding at Bible Camp, helping each other memorize bible verses for their weekly challenge against the boys in the other cabins, and chatting into the early hours of morning when they were supposed to be sleeping. They had been so close back then. Harry was heartbroken when Louis hadn’t been there last summer. He’d heard rumors, vague comments about how Louis had changed but he didn’t believe them. He couldn’t. Because the other boys, the ones from Louis’ home town, were saying that he’d started getting piercings and tattoos, that he’d come out as gay, and that he’d turned his back on God.

Harry had thought he’d never find it in himself to believe them but the image before his eyes has him suddenly questioning everything.

*and the truth shall set you free (...maybe) by jaerie

Words: 17k

Betism: A religion based on the belief that the beta gender has been chosen by God to protect and defend the purity and dignity of the human race by resisting and condemning the lustful ways and flawed biology of the alpha and omega

Harry is a Betist and Louis is an alpha who runs with a bad crowd. This is what happens when two worlds collide.

*secret little rendezvous. by orphan_account

Words: 17k

Louis is a priest struggling with his temptations and Harry is the irresistible stripper/sex worker that helps open his eyes up into a whole new world of sinful pleasure.

We'll Rise Up by FallingLikeThis

Words: 18k

Louis is a Pastor with no church and a heart filled with uncertainty. Pastor Payne is more than willing to give Louis a new place to work, but it's Music Director Harry that helps him rebuild his faith.

*You Make Me Want To Sin by lonelymisfit

Words: 28k

Or the very bregruding college AU where Louis is a bad ass frat boy and Harry is a shy and conservative catholic boy who wants to know whether Louis can show him what else he can do on his knees besides pray.

so keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby

Words: 78k

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

*Hate Me To The Moon by harrystylesandstuff

Words: 83k

The last thing Harry wanted was to spend his entire summer stuck with his dad's new fiancée and her kids. He wants no more when he learns she's a very religious dictator, raising a sixteen year old nun and a clean cut potential priest ass kisser.

Everything takes a slightly different turn, however, when Harry finds out his future step-brother is actually the rude stranger he caught sucking off a guy in a pub, far from the reserved Christian his mom thinks he is...

AU where Harry is a sexy nerd, Louis is a great actor, and they both pretend to hate each other's guts to convince themselves they're not feeling things future step-brothers shouldn't feel...

Cold by RealName

Words: 87k

Harry Styles hated the minister's son.

Louis Tomlinson was brash, obnoxious and possessed all the attributes that Harry deemed unlikable in another person. Unfortunately, they attended the same Bible studies class at church and their mothers were best friends, so avoiding the other boy was impossible.

Promise in the Sky by Throwthemflowers

Words: 99k

AU in which Harry Styles, a naïve, repressed, socially awkward Midwestern highschooler tries to navigate his fundamentalist evangelical parents and radically progressive older sister. He’s doing an okay job of this until the Tomlinson family starts attending Lakeside Baptist Church and a boy named Louis changes everything. Harry is forced to come to grips with his true self when Louis becomes more than just his best friend; but their relationship opens a can of worms and sends them on the most painful, heartbreaking journey of their young lives. They risk everything and nearly lose, and Harry learns that perhaps only one Bible verse is true: that perfect love casteth out fear.

Turning From Praise (Punk!Harry Christian!Louis) by capriciouslouis

Words; 128k

Louis has had a strict Christian upbringing that he never realized he resented until he meets Harry Styles, a boy who lives to rebel and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. But the better he gets to know Harry, the more he begins to realize that maybe Harry does care. And maybe “the children who God forgot” are closer to God than the devout will ever be.

Change My Mind by larry_love13

Words: 155k

Louis was a devout Christian family man with a wife and ten kids who lived a seemingly happy and idyllic life in Oklahoma. He always felt something was missing but he could never figure out what until he met Harry Styles, who made him question every single value he'd ever held dear, including his relationship to God AND his marriage. Harry, a devoutly religious young college student struggling with his own family and personal issues turned to Louis for guidance. They both end up learning a lot about themselves, each other, and their religion as they change a few minds-including their own-during their journey.

Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12

Words: 208k

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

credit to the owner of the manip

#ask

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divinityslain · 5 years

Text

hey there demons ! tis i , local lorekeeper & part - time trash pile , coming at ya to give miss wilhelmina no fucken rights ! isn’t that exciting ? click HERE for ur girl’s ~ new ~ pinterest . also this is long .

* RELIGION & TWSITD & FOOD MENT .

full name .

wilhelmina von hevring

nicknames .

mina minnie

birthday .

october 4

fódlan birthday .

4th of the wyvern moon

age .

twenty - three

height .

172.72cm / 5′8″

nationality .

adrestian

hometown .

county of hevring

residence .

garreg mach monastery

house .

black eagles

occupation .

student at the officers academy

crests .

minor crest of cethleann / sometimes raises mt when using recovery magic major crest of lamine / occasionally conserves uses of recovery magic

strengths .

faith riding lance

weaknesses .

flying axe brawling

budding talent .

reason

classes .

noble → monk → priest → bishop → holy knight

likes .

horses tea reading making people proud of her exploring shopping

dislikes .

mindless gossip henrik isolation the dark heights injustice

interests .

practicing magic chatting praying helping to restore the saint statues

favorite meals .

saghert and cream peach sorbet gronder meat skewers vegetable stir - fry

favorite teas .

mint tea angelica tea

favorite gifts .

riding boots tea leaves stylish hair clip goddess statuette owl feather * universal gift

least favorite gifts .

hunting dagger blue cheese arithmetic textbook

favorite flowers .

roses forget - me - nots

lost items .

gold hair bow heart - shaped locket storybook about the four saints

relatives .

lorelei von beaumont ( née hevring ) , mother unnamed noble , step - father theodore & sebastian von beaumont , maternal half - brothers jasper , anabel & elias von beaumont , step - cousins

count hevring , maternal uncle & legal guardian unnamed noble , maternal aunt & legal guardian linhardt von hevring , maternal cousin

count rowe , father / illegitimate child of unnamed noble , step - mother viktor gwendal rowe , paternal half - brother johanna sigrid gaspard ( née rowe ) , paternal half - sister henrik alphonse rowe , paternal half - brother astrid faryse rowe , paternal half - sister adiel gwydion rowe , paternal half - brother nikolai christophe blaiddyd , paternal nephew / johanna’s son

the product of an affair between lorelei von hevring , a noble from adrestia , & the head of house rowe in faerghus . obviously , count rowe is already long married with three kids by the time mina is conceived , & lorelei is … in the process of finding a suitable match , courtesy of her older brother & head of house hevring , so the newborn wasn’t exactly welcomed warmly .

( although , not anything new as nobles have been producing out - of - wedlock children since as long as anyone can remember . )

however … the thing is , this whole ordeal was count rowe’s plan all along ? like , none of his current children are crest - bearers . lorelei comes from a respected family , one that notably has a strong bloodline to keep crests alive . put two & two together , makes sense , right ? once the child shows signs of possessing a crest , he would take them off her hands … you know , since having a child in such a way would arguably look worse for her than for him ! & said child was supposed to become his true heir to the rowe territory .

WELL ! too bad for him , lorelei cut ties . a new husband , she said in letters that are now burned & forgotten . little did he know , it was because she was expecting & didn’t want him to know . fearful for what may happen , unaware of his true intent .

4th of the wyvern moon ; the day wilhelmina von hevring came into the very world that will become so cruel . a premeditated accident , that’s what she was . although her uncle had plans . people who would take away the burden he promised to keep a secret , until it suited him . alas , lorelei wouldn’t part from her daughter so quickly . it would take about four years of mina living in the hevring estate for lorelei to grow distant , more focused on her new children with her new husband in a completely different territory in adrestia . it was then she would be discreetly removed from the household , much to her confusion as she would grip onto her uncle’s hand .

those who slither in the dark . vile , uncaring , harshness ; result orientated . mages would spend two years testing & experimenting on mina — crestology , implanting a crest stone into a body seeing if it’s compatible . a lot of their prior experiments failed , but a strong select few survived for awhile .

just shy of over the two years , the mages of those who slither noted many different stages of progress . initially unaware wilhelmina already bore a crest , a minor of cethleann – they saw as she activated it for the first time during a trial . a welcomed addition to their studies ! but of course she was miserable & terrified . yet even so , she remained hopeful . hopeful that this would be over soon — silent prayers to the goddess fell from her trembling , cracked lips , over & over . a little after she turned six , her desperate prayers were answered . the mages successfully in giving her a new crest : a major crest of lamine . although as they have seen in the past , the stress of twin crests caused strain on her small body , causing her hair to turn white ( although , leaving a vaguely blonde undertone – perhaps homage to lamine herself ) & shortened lifespan . that … left them bored & itching to move on to the next , as the cycle repeated .

after dropping a slumbering , dirty & worn - out mina back to the county of hevring , & a brief meeting with her uncle explaining the results of the experimentation , they departed within the shadows once more . so idk fast forward a few months , she’s still six & still clinging to the teachings of seiros & the four saints . she even saved up enough money for a storybook . her uncle trained her in secret , unwilling to yet show her twin crests to the rest of the empire , & mina did her goddamn best to make him proud !! like little baby .. really .. was embodiment of pleading emoji . & alright count hevring was using her from day 1 but ….. would be lying if he didn’t get even slightly attached after all the time he inevitably spent with her lmao .

once she gained an understanding of how to not randomly activate her crests , her uncle took her to enbarr to introduce to the imperial family . at almost seven , she didn’t understand the weight of the situation . there he showed her off to the emperor & subsequently , his sons . a choice between eric & wilhelm , & the latter was chosen . wilhelm & wilhelmina were engaged , all because count hevring pulled the ‘ my niece has two crests & your son has none ’ card .. huh .. that really was the selling point . ( of course it was still kept hush , those who slither in the dark didn’t want to be discovered so quickly . the emperor , despite finding it a strange occurrence , didn’t question it … lmao little did he fucken know !! )

during her time in enbarr , mina stumbled across … a certain boy , unbeknownst to her at the time , her step - cousin jasper . now his father , being able to make the connection once he hears her name being called by hevring , went to lorelei afterwards & was like , hey so go back to your daughter , she’s betrothed to one of the imperial princes , that could be of use to us , etc . etc . & like , well , she did . mina , after years of being estranged from her mother , was swaddled up quickly in an embrace under a false guise of genuine wish to reconnect . she felt odd seeing her daughter with a hair color so foreign , but as the shitty adults do , she doesn’t make a note of it . mina was introduced officially to all of her step - cousins , as well as her own half - brothers . truthfully she tried her best to connect with them all , but the only one who stuck was jasper . not that she minded — despite all the negativity surrounding him , she still saw the good . she always did .

years later & more tragedy struck the empire . the insurrection of the seven , a soft coup ; her uncle participated in stealing power from the emperor – the individual she came to know more personally as her future father - in - law . & then …….. it happened . three years after the insurrection , wilhelm ( + the other imperial children ) were just . gone ? no one spoke about them , & she would be scolded each time she brought it up . her uncle was tense , perhaps due to the arrangement that the emperor literally was unable to break , but mina once more turned back to the church for solace . edelgard came back eventually , white hair similar to her own , but none of her siblings followed , so mina mourned for them in silence .

years & years past & her uncle started up a search for a new husband ; while she moved on from wilhelm , he’ll still be in her memory & heart . even when her heart attached itself to randolph , & they slowly started courting , despite her uncle strongly advising her against it ....... idk they been together for awhile now technically ?

ok so personality basically , she is beagles mom ! very … i would say naive , because how she doesn’t realize 98% of her family is using her , but .. but like . she’s !!! embodiment of honey & wildfire are both golden , softness is not weakness . she is also a horse girl so jot that down , you know ? find her in the stables pretty often . mina’s uno reverse edelgard in the sense that while edelgard is angry at the society they live in / the church + goddess + crest systems , etc . mina ?? doesn’t hold any hatred for what happened to her . it’s more like , she’s going to take her trauma & do the absolutely best she can because if she lets it go to waste then all of what she went through would’ve been for nothing & she can’t let that happen .

she agrees with edelgard’s position of how crests shouldn’t dictate the way people live , but also she still has her faith ?? like .. * channels all the cf endings that have the church being rebuilt despite under supervision .. bc she wld have helped *

uh idk if any of this intro makes sense but like here we are babies !! i am tired & have three more to write so i am …. TIRED .

#wilhelmina von hevring. › introspection. / my faith seems naive，at least today; maybe tomorrow i can believe again.#that is the tag im using bc idk any other tags hehdfvbdhn #im not fixing ANY mistakes bc its a testimony to how tired i am

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xxisxxisxxis · 5 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Four

Part One , Part Two , Part Three

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx X OC

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Language, sexual situations, mentions of drug use, brief allusions to abuse of power

Tag List: @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @allieburakovsky @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @liith-ium @justjodeye

**Let me know if you want to be tagged**

———————————————————————

The slow push and pull of absolute ecstasy drives me to near insanity, my eyes closed as my head tips back, a soft whimper brushing past my lips because the feeling is just so good that I can barely breathe.

A sweat-slick chest moves against a sweat-slick chest, my legs encircling his waist to get more of him, in a worn down bedroom that smells strongly of alcohol and cigarettes. A scent I’ve grown fond of the past several weeks, but I won’t admit that to anyone.

Another push in to me, another hit of my drug of choice, another whimper, another change of position.

His hand grasps at my hair, pulling it to one shoulder so his lips, tongue and teeth can explore where my neck and shoulder meet. My nails scratch at the back of his neck, a moan mixed with a gasp escapes my lips as he grabs at my waist and displays just as much control underneath me as he showed above me.

I feel cross-faded, my mind completely gone as I continue to take what he’s willing to give me in as big of a dose as I can get it.

With one last stroke in to me, he finishes what he started.

The both of us try to catch our breaths as he falls back, causing me to fall on top of him, and my head rests on his chest as his hand starts massaging my scalp.

“Tommy does not find out.” I tell him quietly, closing my eyes.

“Couldn’t agree more.” Nikki replies in a light tone and I smile.

I wake up from my dream in a frenzied sweat, glancing around my room. After a few deep breaths, I groan, and fall back on the bed, wanting to pull my hair out as I grab my pillow and scream into it as loud as I can.

———————————————————————

“You look like shit.” Mick tells me mercilessly and I choke on my Coke, the acidic liquid stinging my nose as it drips out of my nostrils, sending me in to a coughing frenzy which entertains Tommy and Vince.

It’s Saturday, so I decided to come spend it with Tommy at the apartment he’s recently moved in to, with Vince and Nikki, since I couldn’t spend time with him the other night after their first sold out show. My parents think I’m with Tansy again, though.

“Gee, thanks, Mick.” I rasp out as I start to get control of my coughing, leaning forward in my seat on the couch. “I didn’t sleep last night.” I tell them, my eyes watering as Tommy hits my back as if trying to dislodge something from my airway. I hit his hand away from me and he gawks as if I just told him to go to hell.

“Are you sure you’re not on your period this week?” Vince pipes, glancing up from his Playboy magazine to watch my reaction to his question. “I’ve noticed girls look like shit and act like it, too, during that time of the month.” He licks the tip of his finger to turn the page of the pornographic picture show before him.

“No tampons.” Tommy tells him, shaking his head as he takes a bite of Captain Crunch from his cereal bowl and Vince gets a confused look on his face.

“What the fuck do tampons have anything to do with when she’s bleeding or not?” He asks Tommy.

“Are you seriously having a conversation about my bleeding vagina?” I ask them, grossed out.

“They save the more conservative topics for when you’re around.” Mick mumbles, continuing to tune his guitar.

If this is their “conservative” talk, I’d hate to hear their more perverted topics.

“Her mom won’t let her wear tampons so I have to sneak them to her.” Tommy explains and Vince gives me a look.

“Why won’t your mom—“

“She thinks it’s sexually immoral to have a piece of cotton shoved up in there.” Tommy interrupts just as Nikki comes back in from outside.

“Can we please stop talking about my anatomy?” I ask them.

“Absolutely.” Vince surprisingly agrees.

“Thank you.” I sigh out, and the room gets quiet as Vince turns another page, making an impressed facial expression as he turns the magazine to get a better look at whatever he’s seeing.

“We sure as fucking hell can talk about Vicki Lasseter’s anatomy, though.” He grins and Tommy and Nikki rush to his side to see what he’s seeing, tilting their heads to match his, oohing and ahhing and I gag. “Hey, Viv, why don’t you try to get in to one of these?” Vince asks, waving the magazine.

“I’ll pose for Playboy when you do.” I tell him without thought.

“Oh, please, Saint Vivian would never lower her standards to match that of those worthless whores with lack of morals and spiritual compass.” Nikki mocks my voice and I look at him.

“You’d be surprised to find that I don’t think the same way my mother does, Devil-Spawn, and if you would stop writing me off all because I go to church and pray to a God you couldn’t believe in any less, you would discover I don’t think any less of the women who pose nude, I don’t think any less of troubled rockstars and I don’t think any less of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I share because if everyone kept their clothes on, only listened to mundane music and agreed on everything, the world would be a boring place.” I argue, giving him a smug smirk when he rolls his eyes and steps to the kitchen.

“You don’t look as shitty as I thought.” Mick tells me blankly.

“Awe, thank—”

“Just take the fuckin’ compliment and shush Virgin Mary.” He waves me off and I give him a closed mouth smile, flattered he complimented me...sort of.

“Hey, Tommy, do we have rubbing alcohol?” Nikki asks, about to light a cigarette.

“Under the bathroom sink, why?” Tommy answers and in a few seconds, Nikki’s in front of us, holding the bottle of rubbing alcohol in one hand and a box of matches in the other with his cigarette hanging from his lips.

“I have an idea.” He tells us and we look at him blankly. “We need more special effects for the shows, man.” He adds with a raised brows, as if that makes it a better idea.

Apparently I’m the only one with a brain because Vince and Tommy jump up with bright smiles.

“Dude, it’ll be fuckin’ awesome!” Tommy exclaims and Mick and I exchange looks.

Before I can say anything, Nikki’s offering the bottle of rubbing alcohol up to Vince and he starts dousing Nikki’s leather pants in the stuff before taking a match from the match book.

“Um, you’re doing that in here?” I ask them before Vince can start any fire.

“Sure, why not?” Vince shrugs and I take a few steps back, waiting for him to light his friend on fire.

———————————————————————

The crowd’s screaming gets louder and rattles my eardrums once Vince lights Nikki’s leather clad legs on fire during the middle of “Live Wire.”

I watch from behind stage, not feeling like dealing with the pushing and shoving of the crowd.

Once they’re done with yet another sold out show, they’re stumbling backstage, high off adrenaline and tipsy on Jack and I’m a few paces behind them as they head in to the dressing room.

I stop at the payphone, getting ready to call my parents and check in with them, when someone catches my attention from the corner of my eye.

Turning my head in that direction, I see a mass of curly, blonde hair that compliments blue eyes that seem a little lost as she looks around.

“Tansy?” I ask from where I am and she looks at me, her face brightening.

“Hey!” She rushes to me, careful not to trip in her bright red heels and I hang the phone up, deciding her appearing at a place like this is far more important.

Tansy Reilen, who would later become Tansy Rose, was the walking incarnation of perfection. Her natural hair color was so blonde it almost appeared white, her eyes captivated whoever she was looking at with their vivid bright-blue color and standing at 5’3” made her the perfect size to fit in your pocket and take her with you anywhere. She had a voice that could calm a Hurricane and enough strength in her to start one.

Her one and only flaw was that she was a people pleaser. Even if it meant pleasing the wrong kind of people. She would do whatever anyone wanted, not because she wanted to but because she hated telling people “no”, afraid of being a disappointment or making someone unhappy. Everyone took advantage of that when we were growing up, especially boys once we made it to high school, but the industry slowly violated everything of her’s there was left to violate after she got recruited for modeling at age 19. Her own “god fearing” mother, who became her manager, turned her out to whatever photo shoots paid the most, including nude and everything else in between.

By the mid 80s, Tansy made sure she was either too doped up or too wasted to care who photographed her naked and plastered her on a magazine...or who abused their power and got a lot more out of her than a photo session.

“What are you doing here?” I ask her, not trying to sound rude.

“Vince called me and wanted me to come.” She tells me, the excitement still hasn’t left her face and I raise my brows.

“Vince?” I ask, all of it starting to come together and she nods. “The same Vince that cheated on you multiple times freshman year?”

“It’s been, what, four years? Maybe he’s grown up a little.” She tried to reason with me and I clear my throat, knowing the Devil is a liar.

As if on cue, I hear the familiar sound of Vince’s current girlfriend’s voice, shouting angrily.

“Fuck you! Piece of shit! Motherfucker!” She screams, the echoing of her hitting Vince bounces off the walls as he keeps saying “babe” trying to reason with her for whatever he did wrong.

“My pants! Babe!” He pleads.

“Fuck you!” She yells back, marching up the hallway angrily, giving me a glance when she passes me, carrying the high-dollar pants she bought for Vince that he loves so much.

Tansy’s confused until Vince appears, naked as ever, hand cupping his privates.

“I fucking love those pants.” He complains weakly, giving me a pouting look.

“Your swimsuit parts are out.” I inform him and he cuts his eyes at me, before he sees Tansy over my shoulder.

Then the pouting stops and his inner peacock comes out.

“Hey, Tans,” he grins like an idiot and I put a hand on his bare chest to keep him from approaching us any further.

“Go put clothes on.” I order him, and he gives me a roll of his eyes before doing so, giving us a full show of his butt as he walks away. “You had sex with that.” I remind her and she exhales.

“Yeah, he hasn’t changed a bit has he?” She asks me, disappointed.

“He’s gotten worse.” I sigh out. “C’mon, let’s go see Tommy.” I grab her hand, pulling her in the direction Mick, Nikki and Tommy went after they got off stage.

Just as we turn a corner we see the three of them walking in our direction in their street clothes. Tommy sees me, opening his mouth to say something, but he stops when he sees Tansy and gets a smile on his face that’s at least a mile long.

“Tansy fucking Reilen!” He pipes out, eagerly accepting her hug, bending down a little so she could wrap her arms around his neck before he picked her up.

“Hey, Tommy!” She replies with just as much enthusiasm.

The three of us haven’t hung out together for almost a year due to Tommy and Tansy thinking they could have sex one time without it making anything weird. I guess this was their official “it doesn’t bother me anymore” because neither of them are acting too awkward.

He puts her down, introducing her to Nikki and Mick in time for Vince to rejoin us, fully clothed.

“We’re about to head down to the Rainbow.” Tommy tells us, looking at me. “If someone’s willing to stay out late.” He clears his throat, raising his brows at me and I look at Mick, Nikki and Vince, who wait for me to answer.

“Fine.” I finally relent after weeks of their pressure.

“Hallelujah. Thank fuckin’ God.” Vince states with a relieved sigh, throwing his arm around Tansy.

When we get to the Rainbow, Tansy pulls me in to the bathroom so she can touch up her makeup and when she’s done she glances at me and licks her lips.

“So...have you lost your virginity?” She asks me and I scoff.

“No.” I tell her honestly and she purses her lips.

“Oh.” She mumbles.

“Why?”

“It’s just...” She starts but closes her mouth again. “Nothing.”

“Tansy.” I say, starting to get a little frustrated. “What is it?”

“Nothing. I just thought you and that Nikki guy have messed around or something.” She admits and I feel my body freeze up, my heart racing as flashbacks from my dream a few nights ago cloud my mind.

“I—eww...why would you think that? We haven’t.” I shutdown her assumption and she holds her hands up in surrender.

“I’m sorry, I just thought you had.” She tells me truthfully.

“What makes you think we have?”

“There’s a tension.” She argues with a smirk.

“There is not a tension. There is so not a tension.” I almost laugh at how ridiculous she sounds. “We argue. All the time. He thinks I’m a self-righteous prude and I think he’s the spawn of Satan. If there’s a tension, it’s because we hate each other.”

“You don’t have to like someone to have sex with them.” She points out almost in a sad tone, and I know she speaks from experience. “I really like him for you, though. You get all riled up and firey when he’s around.”

“Oh, please.” I roll my eyes.

“I just met the guy and I can tell he has you acting different. You used to be so quiet and shy around people you don’t really know, now you’re jumping in to conversations just to piss him off and prove him wrong.”

“Because I don’t like him.” I shake my head. “And he doesn’t like me. That’s where the tension comes from. See? It’s full-circle.”

“Hate-sex is always an option.” She suggests with a shrug.

“Do not even start.” I point my finger at her.

“What? It gets rid of all the aggression and ill-feelings.” She explains.

“So does their shows. Did you know they encourage people to get their feelings out during a show so they go home chilled out and not so uptight?” I tell her the exact quote from Nikki and she gives me an unconvinced look. “And it works.”

“Yeah, until he gets off stage and then you get all hot and bothered.”

“I get hot because he’s Devil-Spawn and the heat from hell radiates off of him and I get bothered because he’s an arrogant idiot.”

“Or you like him and don’t know why you do so you displace your frustration and confusion on to him.” She doesn’t give up. “I was honestly joking about the hate sex okay? I don’t want you to go jump in to bed with him if you don’t want to but you two were fighting like cats and dogs the whole time we were on our way here. I think you should try to let whatever kind of bravery he evokes in you come out in a way that’s not in the form of riled up anger or fiery hatred.” She recommends and I nod slowly. “Now, c’mon because I have a slutty blonde waiting.”

Once we get to the rounded booth the guys are at, we’re met with a man who walks up to the table just as soon as we slide in, that I’ve never seen in my life.

“Hey, Guys, I’m Tom Zutaut. I work for Elektra Records.” He holds his hand out for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you, bro.” Nikki tells him lazily, taking a sip of his beer at the same time Vince says “hey man.”

“I would love, uh, the opportunity to talk to you guys if you have a second.” He offers them.

Tommy does his infamous cigarette trick, one of them, at least, where he sticks the end of his cigarette under his curled lip.

“Wanna sit down?” Tommy asks him in a voice that’s not his own and Tom chuckles.

“That’s really cool.” He motions to Tommy’s cigarette.

“Sit. Do it.” Tommy says as his eyes flash to the empty space by Vince at the end.

“Thank you.” Tom accepts the invitation.

“Scoot over, dude.” Vince tells the guys, and Nikki scoots closet to Mick, I scoot closer to Nikki, Tommy scoots closer to me, Tansy scoots closer to Tommy and Vince scoots closer to Tansy, allowing room for Tom.

As he starts talking, I feel something shift under the table and just as I’m about to see what’s under it, Nikki stops my hand from lifting the table cloth, nodding to Tom.

“Just watch.” He whispers in my ear and I ignore the heat that spreads through me when his lips brush against my skin as glance at him, before looking at the man trying to sign them.

“Look, I’ve been seeing what you guys are doing in L.A. and I think, with my help, I think I could really do something for you—” He snaps up and stumbles back, his zipper pulled down and his face full of shock.

The guys all laugh, Nikki throwing his head back before doubling over at the reaction.

A blonde girl’s head peaks up from under the table, resting her elbows on the now empty seat Tom sat in.

“Oh, my God!” Tom let’s out, surprised to see the girl but he quickly gathers himself.

“No?” She asks him. “Not for you?” As the guys continue chuckling. Tansy and I just exchange speechless expressions.

“No, thanks.” He tells her flatly.

“You sure?” She asks.

“No, thank you.” He repeats and she smiles.

“Okay.” She says before pulling the table cloth down and disappearing under the table again.

“Anyway,” Tom sits back down and stammers on. “Let’s get back to, you know, what I was talking about. So, uh, what do you guys say? Do you want a record deal?”

“Uhh,” Nikki says it like he’s thinking, but he reaches across me, grabs a handful of Tommy’s hair at the back of his head, and knocks his forehead into the table a few good times, the members of the band laughing like fools when he stops and I shake my head a little.

“Is that a yes?” Tom asks them and Vince cuts in.

“I don’t know if we can trust a dude who turns down a free blowjob.” He states.

“Yeah,” Tommy echos, his eyes cut slightly at the man suspiciously.

“Yeah.” Mick even says from behind his sunglasses, smoking his own cigarette.

———————————————————————

“He said we could possibly score a five album deal, Viv, why aren’t you happy about this? I thought you wanted us to get signed?” Tommy asks me as I throw my keys across the living room, in to the kitchen, angrily, causing him to flinch.

“You just told me you were dropping out of school, Tommy! We are so close to graduating, can’t you just wait?!”

“No, I can’t! I can’t just wait because what I wanted is happening and I need to focus on the band right now more than ever!” He argues, motioning to Nikki and Vince as they stand with Tansy by the door, observing our disagreement.

“Your education should be your main focus, at least until you graduate! You are so close to being done, Tommy, why can’t you just—“

“Because I don’t give a fuck about school, Vivian! What I am passionate about doesn’t require a diploma, and I’m sorry if me dropping out makes you feel like I’m leaving you behind or whatever the fuck you feel, but I’m not sorry for wanting to focus on my main priority!”

“What I’m hearing is that I wasted hours of my time throughout school trying to tutor you and help you all for you to throw it away on the idea of being some hot-shot rockstar with girls and drugs and booze—”

“Oh, my God, you act like you would have had better things to do with that wasted time!” He throws his hands up and I roll my jaw. “And it’s not a fucking idea, it’s fucking reality and you’re only mad because you have no control over it!”

“I’m mad because we talked about this and everything we agreed on, everything we promised each other, is absolute void to you now that it’s actually happening!”

“Shit changes, Viv, people change! What I considered important junior year is completely different than what I consider important now.” He calms down, sighing.

“We agreed we would both graduate high school and I could either put off college or drop out if I needed to...” I trail off, trying hard not to cry in front of Tansy, Vince, and Nikki. “That was our plan to avoid this,” I motion to him. “From happening. To avoid you leaving me behind.” I give him back his own words and he gives out a shaky breath. “You considered me important junior year when you came up with that plan. When you promised me you wouldn’t go on to bigger things without me and forget me. And now...” I take a step back as he tries to step towards me.

“Viv, I didn’t mean it like that.” He tries to tell me.

“No, you’re right.” My whole body shakes with nerves and anger, I feel like a complete idiot. “Shit changes.” I curse for the first time in my life and even in this moment he’s shocked about it. “People change.” I continue. “Glad this is happening now, though, so I don’t waste any more time on a completely different page than you, Tommy.” I struggle to not let my voice crack, stepping to the kitchen to grab my keys.

“Viv—“ he tries to grab my arm as I head to the door but I snatch away from him.

“Fuck you.” I crack, my voice barely coming out as tears spill over my lashes.

Nikki and Vince step aside to let me leave, Tansy looks like she might follow me but decides against it and I slam the door shut.

#nikki sixx #vince neil #tommy lee #mötley crüe #douglas booth #daniel webber #machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker #the dirt #the dirt movie

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dfnews · 5 years

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Episode Recap of "The Vuolos Take LA" Season 10, Episode 2 October 22, 2019 "Jinger and Jeremy explore L.A. with new friends. While hiking, Jinger discusses her decision to wear pants, which is unusual for Duggar women. The Duggar boys' road trip could be the last time they're all together before one of them starts a new courtship." TV Guide Online This will be a review in three parts; 1. The Gospel of Jinger: Thou Shalt Not Follow Your Parents' Pants Shunning Legalistic Ways 2. The Gospel of John and Abbie: Conservatives Visit Reindeer and Socialism and Survive 3. The Gospel of The J Boys: Thou Shalt Not Buy Lemons & Try To Pass It Off As Lemonade 1. JinJer and Lissy are visiting LA and decide to take a hike up to the Hollywood sign. Why two conservative evangelicals want to see the sign is beyond me. My suspicion is that they plan to stake out the location with the hope of one day altering the sign. If the HOLLYWOOD sign changes to JESUSWOOD overnight we'll know who is responsible. They somehow got special permission to actually walk down to the big letters. I guess the city saw this opportunity as good advertising. If they didn't get permission JinJer may want to lay low for awhile. If the city doesn't bust them child welfare might after watching Jeremy stumbling down the mountain with a baby strapped to his chest. Jinger explains she decided to wear pants for the hike due to the steep terrain. What? That didn't stop her before when hiking mountains in a skirt and flip flops. One of the Duggars most often used phrases is a Duggar girl can do anything in a skirt. Jinger explains about her pants wearing that her parents taught her "To honor Christ in everything that we do and that is where the Lord has led me, as of now." Sooooo, the Lord told her she could wear pants? I'm confused. She also says, with Michelle sitting by her side, that her parents instilled in them the importance of modesty and she appreciates that training…yet Lissy wears pants. She doesn't find that foundation important for her own daughter? Michelle is asked by the producer why she decided to wear only skirts and dresses. She goes right to blaming herself which isn't the true reason. The real reason is that she fell in with hardcore legalistic church people who put false biblical beliefs into her head. Beliefs that blame women for the actions of others. She said she had a lot of baggage in her life like wearing a bikini while mowing the lawn as a teen which she feels may have caused some men to have bad thoughts. Michelle, you aren't responsible for others thoughts. Wearing a bikini while mowing the lawn is bad for so many reasons but not because your body is shameful or hurting others. It's bad because rocks and sticks and dog poop may fly into places you wouldn't want them flying. Oh, and she also claims the Bible says for women to not wear what men wear. As I've said before, why would God give a darn what people are wearing? That passage seems more men sponsored than spiritually inspired. You really need to learn to read between the lines to find true inspiration in the Bible. You'd think they would have figured that out by now. Jinger says she discussed with her parents about wearing pants before she decided to rebel against her mother's convictions. Michelle says she's okay with it as long as they walk with God and continue to be modest. So I guess short shorts might be a cause for shunning? Anyway, as they talk about walking with God, scenes of Jeremy with baby and jeans wearing Jinger are being shown as they walk/fall with God down the side of a mountain to the Hollywood sign. Michelle seems a little resigned that she can't keep dressing Jinger in prairie dresses anymore and is just glad that her kids will at least walk in truth which does her mama's heart good. In other words, "Wear your stinkin' jeans! Just don't become an atheist or a Catholic!!!" Later, JinJer meet up with that Cade hair guy and his future wife to see the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I discover from Jeremy that Alice Cooper is now a Christian and Jeremy fan boys all over the Backstreet Boys. The producers ask various Duggars on the couch who their favorite Backstreet Boy is and most of them don't know and just laugh about it. They've learned to take these questions that exploit their ignorance lightly. But I can't blame them for being ignorant on this one. I couldn't name a Backstreet Boy or any of their songs either. Boy bands were never my thing. After a hedonistic walk through Venice Beach, (They walked passed a tattoo parlor. Gasp!) Lissy gets to see the ocean for the first time and then is proselytized to by the hair guy who sings Amazing Grace. Why the heck didn't he sing a Backstreet Boys song? 2. John and Abbie decide to flee the winter in Arkansas and fly to the even more winter of Finland for their honeymoon. John says the typical Duggar line of saying that marriage is great because there are no more chaperones watching your every move. Ummm, I recall that they didn't use chaperones during their courtship. They said they were too mature for that hence the photo of them alone in Walmart where John allegedly smacked unmarried Abbie in the arse. These people are raised on so many family talking points that they can't remember what their reality is. John and Abbie play with reindeer in the snow. Smart Abbie decided to wear snow pants instead of following Michelle's lead of snow skirts. Abbie is a walk in truth pants wearer and thankfully John is okay with that. Later they visit a Greek Orthodox church where they take selfies on the steps but don't go inside. They were there either to try to show the world that they don't hate other types of Christians or they passed out tracts on the steps that announced Greek Orthodox believers were hellbound. Probably a bit of both, I guess. 3. Jed, Jeer, James, Justin and Jason are in Philly to pick up three used limo lemons to sell at their car lot. Jed is wearing a dress shirt with large pictures of cars all over it. They seriously make those in men's sizes? They need to drive the cars 20 hours back home and they leave without test driving the vehicles. Smrt! These five goofy guys with walkie talkies drive out onto the highway announcing, "Jed is president, Jeer is vice and I'm (Jason) is speaker of the house." That must be a little peek into the conversations being held around the Duggar dining room table these days about their future. (giggle) Of course the five daddy owned stooges run into car problems pretty quickly. As they stand along the side of the highway with a camera crew the boys discuss their car problems and their decision to wear skirts. As long as you walk in truth, boys. After driving way too long they decided to stop in an RV park without an RV. They plan on sleeping in the limos though they don't show that and I bet they actually found a nice motel nearby. The boys talk about someday settling down and for some reason they think if they get married they won't be able to hang out and go on road trips anymore. It's all just blah, blah, blah talk just so they can bring up personal beliefs again as is their mission for the show of which none of them are paid. They need to spread the word of DugGod in each episode because saying it once isn't enough. All the family on the holy couch chime in with their views, I mean, Duggar views, on courtship and marriage in this very long boring segment that we've seen way too often. Why is TLC allowing them to proselytize without giving equal time to other beliefs? Jana is again put in that uncomfortable hot seat of having to defend her singleness. She says at least she can still go on family trips which her married siblings can't…except Josh. Josh and his clan go on most of those family trips for some reason. Jana claims to never have been in a courtship before despite reports of her mentioning relationships. I guess technically she can call her one relationship that I know about a "promise". She was promised to a guy named Andrew but he broke off that relationship because he just wasn't ready to settle down. Since her family is probably looking for someone within their cult to marry Jana, somebody her age and financially stable, Jana may be waiting for a very long time. That is a very limited pool of guys unless they want to take a chance and go outside the cult again and then all of a sudden BOOM! Jana is sporting jeans and is living in a city. How much more can Michelle's mama's heart take. Next week, John and Abbie head to Lapland in an attempt to use natural birth control to freeze their reproductive systems limiting the size of their family. Science, you know.

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