#god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change

[vieraslaji]

top tips muistamaan käytetäänkö eraan sanan kanssa sisäpaikallisijat vai ulkopaikallisijat:

tiedätkö toinen sijamuotoa samalle sanalle? esim. lentokentällä siis käytetään lentokentältä

kuulostaako yks tai toinen vaihtoehto typerältä? älä käytä sitä 👍

onko se paikannimi? anna periksi; on mahdotonta tietää

[banglatown]

i’m just a very damaged person overcompensating for the fact tht i’ve never felt loved 🥰

[subtlesolitude-tailoredtaste]

I have been drowning in quicksand for 4 1/2 years.

Happy Birthday to me. If I ever amass a fortune it would go to proper funding and fight for legislation for safe humane abortions and safe humane assisted suicide.

Until then, I will shut the fuck up and smile at the table. Just like home just like family just like culture.

Shoutout to the Uber rides where the drivers waxed poetic about how hope is a harmful meaningless lie and useless and I should stop it “no offense” and I quoooooote.

Shoutout to the 47 year old for the sobering conversation, I hope it scares me enough to get up get out and get something by any means necessary fuck family. Thanks man.

Thanks mom for these past 4 years you broke my heart while I was trying not to break yours. It’s not your fault none of it, you’re not a victim you’re a survivor. I pray God grants her a thriving life.

🏳️🏳️🏳️

so many chances ya know. so much trauma most before age 10 lollll fear and self loathing. “What a waste, I’m sorry.” On a slab of rock buried if these customs cont to exist.

whatever happens happens, it is what it is.

attitude gratitude regardless. 🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈

[butchviking]

like its not enough to just have the general natural struggles that are going to come with being part of a minority group its not enough to feel kind of isolated and weird and different and left out of things for being gay theyve got to actually make a point of telling you youre bad and youre doing something wrong or its a moral fault or something like you could choose to be different. if i could choose to be into dudes i would in a heartbeat and its not even because of the homophobes its not because of anyone who tries to actively make me feel like theres something wrong with me its just because of the general sense of social alienation from the majority of people being heterosexual. the actual homophobia is just like. pointless and unnecessary girl if i could change this i already would've so what do you think you're doing here. what do you think you're achieving.

[tezerenotameiki]

i will not pull for dollhouse mika. i will not pull for dollhouse mika. i will not pull for dollhouse mika. i will not i will not i will not

[beskad]

This little Ferus and Trever ficlet has been ALMOST finished in google docs for like a month oops

The draft expires on Ao3 on January 11th so that's my self-imposed deadline LOL

[scarysexycool]

ranted so hard to my mom I got stress hives we've entered a new era I fear

[cygnusxxii]

calculus.....

[legglessdraws]

.

[confinesofmy]

oh. cool. i have a huge cavity in the tooth that i most recently got filled, the one where the dental assistant didn't go in after so i wound up leaving with an unpolished filling and excess filling material bonded to a healthy tooth, both of which had to be fixed by someone else. so i'd assume he either didn't remove the entire lesion before filling or in his sloppiness he left a pocket for bacteria to gather in that couldn't be cleaned. that is so neat! *adds another piece of bad news to the 2022 stack and watches as it teeters back and forth but somehow doesn't fall* haha okay! 😃🔫

[adrianprimes]

“god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage me to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference”

[detransition]

Many trans people talk about dysphoria as if it is some mysterious thing, that cannot possibly be comprehended by others. Having experienced gender dysphoria, I actually think it is a very ordinary thing. It is the discrepancy between how one would like the world to be and how the world is. You want your body to be one way, and it is a different way. You want to be treated in one way and you are treated in a different way. You want to be seen in one way, and you are seen a different way. This is really a universal experience, shared by all human beings. I find it helpful to see that, it helps to create empathy and compassion, rather than separation and isolation. It then follows that anything that increases the gap between how you would like the world to be and how it is will increase dysphoria and anything that decreases that gap will decrease dysphoria. Frequently, people report that when they come to a point of identifying as transgender rather than questioning, their dysphoria increases rather than decreases. This is not surprising because they have increased the gap between how they would like the world to be and how the world is. Now being seen as your birth sex hurts more, because you have solidified your idea of being otherwise. The pain of being misgendered increases greatly after taking steps to transition because you have committed to the idea of the world seeing you as the gender you identify with, and they don’t. The more rigid these ideas, the more suffering that there is. When faced with the challenge of the world being different than you would like it to be, there are two things that you can do to reduce that gap. One is to change the world so that it is more to your liking and the other is to accept the world as it is. It is like the classic serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.” When it comes to gender, there are things you can change it is true, you can change your hormones, you can have surgery, you can change your name, you can change the way you behave in the world. However, you cannot completely change your sex, you cannot control the perceptions of others. Not accepting those two facts, will lead to endless suffering. I remember having dysphoria that was so severe. It was very important to me that everyone perceive me as female. Whenever this failed in some way I would create some rationalization for why it happened. Sometimes that wasn’t possible, and I would go into a tailspin. I even moved to a place where people were less trans aware in order to attempt to be perceived as female. That didn’t work either. I wanted the world to be other that it was. I still had body dysphoria after surgery because I wanted my body to be other than it was. The only way out, was the path of acceptance. That was what helped to let go of dysphoria, not changing my body, not attempting to convince everyone I was born female, not attempting to convince myself that I was female in every way. You can change your body or not, but without the acceptance, the dysphoria will not go away. If you are dependent on other’s perceiving you a certain way, that won’t work either, because you do not control the perceptions of others. This acceptance is essential for any path through this maze, whether transitioning or not, going on hormones or not, having surgeries or not. So why not start with that first? I know for myself, if I had practiced this acceptance first, I would have not needed to change my body. I am not sure what is true for you, but I do know we all need to confront the fact the world is other than we would like it to be.

from thirdwaytrans | thinking of detransition? you are not alone

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (gotta do laundry) courage to change the things I can (by doing laundry) and the wisdom to know the difference (my clothes will not wash themselves)

[queenofbaws]

god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change

the courage to change the things i can

the wisdom to know the difference

and the fucking attention span to get this chapter out before the weekend RAGHHHHH lKSLJDFKLSDJF

[lurkingshan]

Be My Favorite and Accepting the Things We Cannot Change

Several weeks back, @shortpplfedup posited that Be My Favorite’s core theme really comes down to the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  The courage to change the things I cannot accept,  And the wisdom to know the difference

Having now seen the finale and the full arc of the show, I have to declare her the most correct of clowns, because she nailed it. This finale was all about Pisaeng’s journey to accepting that he can’t control the outcome of Kawi’s illness in the future, and that ultimately, he doesn’t want to change the beautiful life they’ve had together on the off chance it might make a difference. 

I love the way this played out in the new temporary present (I am going to miss finding awkward ways to accurately describe what timeline we are in). When Pisaeng travels back in time to the night before they went to the amusement park, Kawi clocks it immediately, but waits for Pisaeng to fess up that he had time traveled back from the future, and why. Once everything is out in the open, we see a sense of calm come over Kawi as he begins gently guiding Pisaeng to what he has already learned: they can’t control it, and the best thing they can do is commit to enjoying the life they have together here and now. And so Kawi and Pisaeng put a pin in it and have a great day together at the amusement park, reveling in each other’s company and committing to the joy of being in each others’ presence. At the end of the day, Pisaeng admits that even though he’s scared, he wouldn’t want to change anything about their life together or risk losing what they have for the off chance that it could lead to a better outcome, and he goes back home to the uncertain future so he and his future Kawi can face it together, hand in hand. 

I absolutely loved the melancholy undertone to these first three parts of the episode and the poignancy of this message. While Pisaeng struggled, Kawi’s character growth was on full display as he settled into the wisdom he has earned over many timelines and failed attempts to control things he now knows he cannot change. Once he was the one on the outside of the time travel dilemma, he reached full clarity on how futile it all was, and how little would be accomplished by attempting to engineer a different trajectory that might save his life at the expense of his relationship with Pisaeng. And he has achieved a measure of peace and reached a level of confidence and comfort with Pisaeng that enabled him to guide his partner to the same conclusion. It was lovely to see, and felt very well earned. The themes in this section of the episode were so strong that they actually had me thinking they might go there and not give Kawi an explicit recovery and happily ever after. But they quickly changed tack once Pisaeng traveled back to the future in the final part of the episode.

Now, here is the part where I admit that I would have preferred a more nuanced final act rather than Kawi suddenly waking up fine and everything being peaceful from there. There was an opportunity here for a more thematically resonant ending, and the show chose to steer away from it to give us a standard joyful bl epilogue. An ending where Kawi does not fully recover or where his fate is left more open-ended would have really made the poignancy of their choice to stop trying to change things land more firmly. Something more in the mode of Bad Buddy’s somewhat happy ending with a bittersweet edge would have also felt right. That said, this is a bl drama and I can’t really be surprised that it stuck with genre conventions. It was a lovely ending for Kawi and Pisaeng and it was very nice to see them happy together after all the turmoil.

So where did I land on this show overall? I really liked it, and given that I came in with such low expectations, the fact that it ended up being a show I consistently looked forward to week after week is no small thing. This drama gave me a lot to think about and inspired such wonderful discussions with friends, not to mention more clown theories than I could ever hope to track. It also gave me the opportunity to see both Gawin and Krist in a new light—I was really impressed with both of them in this drama and I hope to see Gawin especially continuing to get lead roles. 

I don’t think this drama was perfect, however. At the time episode 10 aired I had some issues with the resolutions it put forward for the main timeline, and those criticisms stand. I wish it had done more with all the meaty stuff it set up with queer politics, Pisaeng’s mom’s hypocrisy in positioning herself as a queer ally while forcing her own son into the closet, and Max’s role as a queer activist who was her fan. There was so much story potential there, but it seems the show just had other priorities. And I’m still not entirely sure what the point of the Not/Kwan subplot was, given that they didn’t really do anything with it in the final arc of the show. I guess I will just settle for thanking the universe that Pear was marrying a very nice looking man who was not Not (lol) in the finale and be grateful they didn’t subject me to a redemption arc for that mean little man.

As always, it has been an honor clowning with you all, and I’m pleased that we’re ending Be My Favorite on such a good note. Shouts to @waitmyturtles @bengiyo, @thegalwhorants, @twig-tea and @rocketturtle4 for talking through a lot of my reactions to this show with me. On to the next! 

[munson-slutt]

The Wisdom to Know the Difference by munson_slutt on ao3

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." -- Steve Harrington would rather be anywhere but the Hawkins Community Center on a Tuesday night picking up his 24 hour chip from AA, but after hitting rock bottom and destroying his friendship with Robin over his drinking, there was really nowhere else to go. To his surprise, a very familiar face is there to pick up his six month chip and, in turn, change Steve's entire life.

OR

Alcoholic Steve and Heroin Addict Eddie falling in love over AA meetings, shared cigarettes, and a whole lot of trauma bonding.

____________________________________________________________

Hey hey friends, I've been working on a new fic that is near and dear to my heart. It's been a few years in the making, but I finally feel like im in a place where I can write this the way that I want to without hurting myself and my own recovery work. SO, without further ado, I've posted the first 4 chapters of my Steddie as addicts in AA fic, The Wisdom to Know the Difference.

My addiction history 🤝 Being a Steve Harrington Kinnie

Read it on AO3 (HERE)

I'm hoping to have the whole thing complete before I go on my bachelorette trip at the end of the month, so, fingers cross that the ADHD gods are kind to me and let me ride this inspiration wave.