#god i need to change her name. n update her in general . CRY

[beebundt]

im busy with an art trade but wanted 2 share some recent scraps of charlie. i haven't posted abt her in years oh my god

[farfromharry]

The one without the suit | Peter’s girl

Summary: Peter doesn’t know where to go when Mr Stark takes his suit away from him after the ferry incident so he comes to you. You spend the rest of the night comforting the distraught boy.

Word count - 2746

Warnings - language? i don’t think there’s anything else

A/n - i’m gonna try and do regular updates for this again, but it probably won’t happen😳

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It all kept replaying in Peter’s head, all those people he’d put in danger just because he couldn’t let this go. Even you had told him he needed to stop, so why couldn’t he?

He sat and stared into the water with a frown, his legs dangling over the side of the building while his mask sat beside him on the ledge. God how had he messed up so bad, Mr Stark must be so angry.

Speaking of, he heard the suit before he saw it, his eyes squeezing shut as he braced himself to get yelled at by his mentor. Swinging his legs over the side and beginning to head in the direction of where the iron man suit stood, probably empty of the real Tony Stark, just like the time at the lake.

The words he was saying- yelling, weren’t really registering in the boy’s head, Peter was wanting nothing more than to skip the lecture and just apologise to the man for everything he’d caused. He didn’t even really care how this was going to affect him, not while he didn’t know the aftermath of the boat. 

“Is everyone okay?”  That was all he really cared about, knowing that no one had gotten hurt all because he screwed up, again. 

“No thanks to you.” 

The next few minutes had been a blur of Peter raising his voice angrily, finding it very difficult to believe that even after all that happened where he’d just tried to help, Mr Stark was still blaming this entirely on him. He remembered apologising profusely, not seeing the anger in Mr Stark’s eyes falter for even a second.

“I’m gonna need the suit back.” He felt like his entire body was shutting down, his heart shattering and a lump building in the back of his throat. Peter begged him, trying to change his mind with empty promises that meant nothing.

“F-For how long?”

“Forever.”

That one word kept repeating in the boy’s mind.  Forever. He was never getting the suit back, God he fucked up again. Walking down the streets of New York in clothes that weren’t his own was probably mortifying on a normal day, but he felt like there was a cloud of shame hanging over his head that everyone could see, and that was much worse.

He didn’t know where his feet were taking him at first, making the subconscious decision that he wasn’t yet ready to go home to his aunt in this state. Peter wasn’t sure if he’d ever been this disappointed or embarrassed with himself. He managed to fuck up so bad that the Tony Stark, his idol, his mentor, took away his suit. 

He was disappointed in him. 

Granted Peter was only a kid, heck he was still a teenager, but he felt like he owed it to Tony to be the best, to be better and apparently Mr Stark thought so too. 

He was growing increasingly self conscious walking through the streets of Queens in clothing they’d gotten from lost and found at the ferry dock. He probably should’ve gone home. May was definitely worried sick about him right now, but he didn’t have the strength to go and face a lecture when all he wanted to do was curl into a ball and let his emotions out.

He had to stop for a minute to realise that he’d been walking to your apartment on instinct. 

It felt like a second nature for Peter now to go to your window every time he was in need of help.

But it hurt him in a way he couldn’t explain when he realised he was unable to swing his way up there, not having either of his suits or his web shooters. The boy sniffled quietly, deciding he was just going to have to show up at your front door, hopefully not disturbing your parents.

He took the elevator up, giving him a chance to think everything over again, the boy deciding he needed some kind of distraction at least to ease his mind. His feet carried him from the elevator to your apartment door, the boy knocking before he'd even registered he was doing so.

“I’ll get it,” you yelled. You paused the movie you were watching on the TV, getting up from the couch. You didn’t bother to check you looked presentable, assuring yourself it was probably just your neighbour, she was a very old lady that often forgot the keys to her apartment and would always ask if she could use your spare that your parents had made just for this situation.

You grabbed the key that resided in a bowl beside your front door, pulling it open with a small smile on your lips. “Forgot your keys again Mrs Ka- Oh, Peter hi.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows slightly as you stared at the distraught expression that had overtaken your friend’s face. He sniffled slightly, his head raising from where his eyes were locked on the floor. You stepped forward and carefully placed your hand on his arm.

“Pete, what’s wrong?” you asked. His eyes were bloodshot and dark when he looked at you, the boy looking like a kicked puppy. Your heart ached just at the sight of him.

“He took my suit,” he whispered, so quietly you didn’t hear him. You stepped closer, placing your hand on his cheek gently.

“What?” 

“Mr Stark took my suit, I let him down.” 

That was the final straw for him. He let out a heart wrenching sob, falling into your arms utterly broken. You weren’t sure what you were meant to do, having never seen him in such a state, so you simply wrapped your arms around him and cradled his head against your chest.

With all the hugs you’d shared with Peter, he’d never held you so tightly, but he’d also never been so upset in view of another person, not even May. Not when his parents died and not when his Uncle Ben died, his tears were restricted to the eyes of him and him only. 

His crying had obviously alerted your mother, seeing her head pop in to look in the living room where you were cradling a crying Peter. She raised her eyebrows, her eyes softening out of motherly concern.

She took your word for it when you just shook your head, promising you’d help him and stay with him until he calmed down.

“Come on, Pete.” You helped the boy up off of the floor and towards your room. He’d been in your room plenty of times over the past few weeks so he took it upon himself to crash on your bed instantly. You didn’t know what to do, you’d never had to deal with consoling a superhero that got their suit taken away from them, so you didn’t fully understand what that suit meant to Peter, even if you did know how much he enjoyed being Spiderman. 

“Peter, I-“ you sighed, sitting on the bed beside his exhausted body. “I’m sure you didn’t disappoint Mr Stark.” 

He scoffed, running his hands over his face exasperatedly. His heart was aching. “You didn’t see it in his eyes. You didn’t hear it.”

Your heart ached listening to the words muffled by the covers of your bed. You could hear his quiet sniffles as he tried to calm himself down, the deep breaths not doing much of the sort. You took a seat beside him awkwardly, your nose scrunching up when you caught a whiff of the boy’s unusual scent.

Your mind told you that a hot bath might help him, as it was always a comfort to you when you were having one of your days. You gently laid your hand on his back, rubbing over the material of his shirt softly for a few moments before you suggested your idea. 

“Why don’t you go take a hot bath? They help me when I’m down,” you said, seeing him turn his face to the side on the bed so he could look at you. “Plus you smell like garbage,” you teased. 

He clearly wasn’t in much of a joking mood when he simply stood up with a nod of his head, his eyes still morphed into puppy dog eyes. You flashed him a tight lipped smile, mentally scolding yourself for how badly your attempt at lightening the mood had gone. 

»»���—⍟——««

You’d generously offered to wash Peter’s hair for him when he stated that he didn’t think he was up to it. He was flustered as he agreed, listening to your promises about just washing his hair for him, no peeking or anything, and then you’d be out of there. 

“You promise you won’t look?” he asked, a stern look in his eyes as he wasn’t sure he could do this if you even took as much as a tiny peek. You rolled your eyes, cursing him for having no faith in you. “Peter, I don’t even want to look.”

He seemed to take offense to those words too, his nose scrunching in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

You huffed at his childish behaviour, telling him there was not a single chance you were about to have this discussion with him about why you didn’t want to see his dick, that was a whole other story.

Eventually he took your word and headed for the bathroom, calling you in when he was ready and sure you wouldn’t be exposed to anything you didn’t want to see.

“Thank you,” he whispered, sending you a genuine smile as you lathered up the coconut scented shampoo on your hands. You shook your head, dismissing his thanks by telling him it was just what friends did. Maybe not all friends, as you couldn’t imagine too many people had to console their superhero friend after their hero suit was taken away from them by their billionaire mentor. So maybe it was just a you and Peter thing. 

He hummed quietly as your fingers threaded through his locks, gently tugging when your fingers would encounter some kind of tangle. You muttered apologies under your breath but they went unheard by the boy who looked as though he was in complete bliss.

“Pete.” It took him a few seconds to hear you calling his name, his eyes snapping up to yours with a shy, apologetic smile. You giggled at his shyness, gently guiding his head to tip backwards so you could wash the soap from his hair.

You repeated the process of washing and rinsing one more time to ensure he no longer smelled like dirty garbage, before leaving him to finish up and dry off in your bathroom.

You started to worry when he began taking his time, scared that something bad had happened, even though you knew he was able to take care of himself.

But your worries died down when he came out of the bathroom with the same clothes he’d worn earlier, pulling a small amused smile from you at the sight of him in hello kitty pyjamas.

“You okay?” you asked, noting that he hadn’t yet said a word since emerging from the bathroom. His voice came out slightly scratchy, a sign of all the sobs that had wracked his body. “Yeah, jus’ need a hug.” 

Your heart warmed in your chest, arms opening for the boy to crawl into. “I can do that.” 

»»——⍟——««

“I’m so tired,” he mumbled, harshly rubbing at his still teary eyes with his fists. You frowned, taking his hands in yours and moving them away from his face so he couldn’t hurt himself. He’d cried so hard and so much in such a short time that he was physically exhausted. 

You wrapped his arms around your waist, letting him lay his head on your chest so you could hold him. Your hands threaded in his freshly washed hair, the scent filling your senses much more pleasant than the one he’d originally arrived with. You gently untangled any knots that had developed in his curls over the course of them drying from the water, the boy humming softly. 

The feeling of your fingers gently scratching at his scalp and playing with his hair was almost enough to soothe him completely to sleep, but you could feel that his body was fighting it off as he probably didn’t want to feel like he was burdening you with another thing.

“Peter?” you whispered. He hummed tiredly in response, nuzzling his face closer to you. “You’re kinda heavy.”

He gasped, finding the energy to raise his head and gape at you as you held back your giggle. He couldn’t say he wasn’t grateful for you trying to put a smile on his face, even if that was through an insult. 

“That was so mean,” he whined, a smile threatening to form on his lips. The first smile you would see from him today.

“M sorry, but you are. Are you forgetting you’re literally built like a God?” He rolled his eyes, cheeks flushing a soft pink at the hint of a compliment. You let out a loud laugh, trying to shuffle away from him as you muttered his name repeatedly. He was laughing now too and the sound, after everything you’d seen from his attitude tonight, was music to your ears.

“Pete, stop!” you squealed. He collapsed down beside you on the bed, the two of you catching your breath as your stomachs began to ache from all the laughing. He still had a grin on his face when you turned your head to look at him, smiling softly as you noticed that familiar sparkle in his eye.

“Pete?” you asked, after your laughter had died down into a comfortable silence. “Yeah?” 

You sighed. “Does May know you’re here?” 

He didn’t respond for a few minutes, answering pretty much everything you needed to know. He could feel your eyes on him, making him feel even more guilty about the whole situation.

“No, she doesn’t,” he finally admitted.

You took his hand in yours, the action still making Peter’s breath hitch even after the many times the two of you had embraced recently. “You should call her, she’s probably worried about you.” 

It took a bit of convincing, but after a while he did call May. He moved out into the hall so he could have a little bit of privacy, not wanting you to hear the earful he was about to get from her.  She was angry, and rightfully so, scolding him for leaving her in the dark, but she was still mainly more worried about her nephew’s safety.

He came back with a rather sullen look on his face, phone in hand as he stood awkwardly in your door frame, like he was uncomfortable.

“I-I have to go, May wants me home,” he mumbled. You nodded your head, flashing him an understanding smile. You’d already guessed that May was going to be upset with him, so you could only pray for him for when he got home. You took a deep breath, pushing yourself up off of your bed and heading straight to Peter to hug him.

“I’m sorry,” you started. “About everything that happened tonight. It’ll all be okay,” you promised, rubbing your hand up and down his back. He pursed his lips, nodding as he pulled away.

“Thank you, Y/N.” 

You followed him from your room to the door of your apartment, seeing the way he dragged his feet sadly along the wooden floorboards. He sent you one last look over his shoulder, and in the light the rings of redness around his eyes were accentuated. 

You watched him walk out of your apartment with a small frown on your face, waving goodbye to him with a rather quiet, “Bye Peter.”

You closed the door with a sigh, your heart aching at the situation Peter had been put in. You knew how much he loved being Spiderman and you knew this wouldn’t stop him, which would probably only cause him more harm, but you trusted him and you hoped that Stark would be able to see he made a mistake.

“Did Peter leave?” You turned and looked at your mother, nodding your head. 

“Is he okay?” she asked. You plastered on a fake smile, nodding your head and pretending as though your last few hours consoling the teenager hadn’t happened. 

“Just some family problems, but I'm sure everything will be fine.” 

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peter’s girl taglist → @sunsetholland @captainamirica @tomsirishgirlx @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lou-la-lou @slutforsr @tayyx @gog0juice @minejungwoo @creatorofthegalaxy @annathesillyfriend @paninipress @bvttercupbby @peterswebshooters @whoeveniskendall @itsallyscorner @hoodpankow @sunwardsss @hallecarey1 @writingrem @mamaparker28

[aestheticallyholland]

NEVER NOT | JEALOUSY . . .

❃ PAIRING tom holland x fem!reader

❃ DISCLAIMER i do not own the artists (and the reader) that are going to portray the characters, but i do own some of the their names. the plot of the story is inspired to the book and movie 'to all the boys i've loved before' but with changes. the gifs and photos used in this series are edited by me but i get credits to the originals. also, this series is first posted in wattpad by me. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE !

❃ WORD COUNT 1.6k words

WANNA BE ON THE TAGLIST? feel free to comment on this post if you wanna be added to this series' taglist to get notified for updates !

NEVER NOT MASTERPOST | LEI'S LIBRARY

"Love is scary: it changes; it can go away. That's the part of the risk. I don't want to be scared anymore." - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

TOM LOOKED UP TO THE CEILING AND WAS THINKING ABOUT Y/N. He didn't know what came over him. Thinking about their date yesterday just made him thought about Y/N more.

After she met his family, especially his mother, they have been telling him how lucky he was to be with a girl like Y/N.

"Y/N's a great lady." Tom's mother suddenly said that made him startle.

"She is, isn't she?" Tom answered his mom.

"A keeper, I must say," Nikki added. "You are lucky, Thomas."

And that made him feel guilty. All of this was just pretend. But was it really just pretending for him?

After a few weeks of being Y/N's fake boyfriend, they have been growing closer each day which made them feel comfortable with each other. Opening up with each other was easier compared to before. Just being with her in general already makes him feel happy.

Is this all really just pretending? Or is it becoming a reality?

"Rule number five and the important one. No falling in love, Holland."

Tom remembered the contract that they signed before they started this whole thing.

"I can't like her." He said to himself. "It's in the damn contract, Holland." He sighed and sat up. He runs his fingers through his curls and punched a pillow.

Why won't this feeling go away?

"Damn it, Holland." He cursed. "You officially have feelings for Y/N."

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"You met his family yesterday?" Erika asked Y/N as she munched on her snacks. Both of them were under the bleachers for no apparent reason. It was Erika's idea.

"Yep. Never thought he would have such a wonderful family, honestly." Y/N said. "And cute siblings too." She added.

"Oh my god, you have Tom, Y/N!" Erika scolded Y/N. "Can I have one of them though?"

"You already have Harrison, Erika." Y/N scolded back which made Erika glare at her.

"What makes you think I and Harrison are together?" Erika asked.

"It's obvious," Y/N answered and that made Erika slap Y/N's arm but Y/N just laughed.

Meanwhile, Tom was walking in the hallway with the strap of his bag on his shoulder until someone familiar approached him.

"Hey, Thomas." Camille greeted him and made him cringe when he heard her call him his full first name but he shrugged it off.

"Hi, Camille. What are you doing here?" Tom asked.

"Mind if we talk?" She asked.

Tom sighed and looked around to see if Y/N was around. He didn't see Y/N since this morning so he got a little worried.

He didn't know why he even agreed to talk with Camille in the first place.

"I and my boyfriend broke up," Camille said as soon as Tom and she reached the bleachers. They sat together but Tom was a little bit distant from her.

"W-what?" Tom looked at her confusingly. That fast?

"I was the one who broke up with him." She added and looked at Tom.

"But why? You left me for him so why leave him now?" Tom fired back.

"Because I still want you, Tom," Camille answered that made Tom frozen.

Little did they know, Erika and Y/N were still under the bleachers and were listening to their conversation. Y/N stopped eating as soon as Camille said that.

"You just realized that now, Camille?" Tom asked her. "Just now?"

Erika looked at her best friend who was just listening attentively to their conversation.

"Damn," Erika whispered. "She's trying to get your guy, Y/N."

Y/N tried to ignore what Erika said and continued to listen.

"Yes, Tom. I'm so sorry but I still love you. Don't you still love me too? Didn't you beg for me to stay when I broke up with you? I'm here now and I swear I'm never going-"

"That was before, Camille." Tom interrupted her. "I have Y/N now-"

"Don't even mention her name to me," Camille said. "I want you to leave her, Tom. She's not worth it."

"I think we should just leave, Y/N," Erika said. "It's not worth hearing."

Y/N could already felt a pang on her chest and her head was already boiling up. She felt jealously overcome her too.

Jealous? Why would I be jealous? This was all just pretend, right? This was what he wanted right? She thought to herself.

Erika pulled her away from Tom and Camille's conversation since she was already sensing Y/N jealousy. Erika hugged Y/N for comfort and rubbed her back.

"He won't go back to her, Y/N," Erika said.

Y/N just sighed, still feeling the pain inside her chest.

"Let's just see about that," Y/N whispered.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Y/N was walking alone in the hallway because Erika had a family emergency back home.

She couldn't stop thinking about Tom and Camille's talk. She would feel her heartache when she thought about Tom going back to his ex-girlfriend but why?

"Rule number five and an important one. No falling in love, Holland."

She suddenly stopped walking as soon as she remembered their contract. She was the one who said that but why was she getting affected? Especially by Tom?

She felt her eyes getting hot and watering while her heart was aching.

No. This can't be happening. She said.

"Y/N!" Her thoughts suddenly fade away as soon as she heard that familiar voice calling her.

She looked back to confirm who it was. "Aiden?" She whispered and wiped the tears away that were forming in her eyes.

He looked at her and panted as if he just came running. He had that worried look on his face as he looked at her.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, concerned.

"Y-yes." She answered and gave him a weak smile. "I'm alright, Aiden."

He looked at her eyes and noticed it was kind of red. "Were you crying?" He asked.

"W-what? Of course not. Something just got stuck in my eyes-"

"Is it because of that Holland guy?" He interrupted and moved closer to her.

"Aiden, i-it's really nothing. Really." She confirmed.

"I knew there's something is up with that guy." Aiden started. "Did he hurt you?"

"He didn't, Aiden. I swear." She said.

Why was Aiden becoming like this? How did he become so concerned about me? She asked herself.

It's probably because your close. A voice answered.

Or, it's probably because he's starting to like you. Another voice answered.

The thought of Aiden liking Y/N made her head confused.

He has a damn girlfriend, Y/N!

"Y/N?" She heard Aiden call her and that made her thoughts disappear.

Was this pretending actually working? She asked herself once more.

"Please tell me if something is wrong. Or if Holland is hurting you." Aiden said.

"I will, Aiden. But I promise he didn't do anything okay?" Y/N said and looked up to him.

Aiden was about to say something until they heard a familiar stern voice from behind. "Y/N."

Oh, snap.

Her heart started beating fast the moment he called her. She saw Aiden who was about to talk to Tom until she interrupted him.

"Aiden. Let's talk later okay?" She asked him.

"But-"

"Please." She begged.

Aiden sighed and looked at Tom with a glare and looked back at Y/N.

"Take care, okay?" Aiden said and patted her shoulder. Y/N answered with a small smile before Aiden walked away passing by Tom.

"What was that?" Tom suddenly asked with a serious tone. Y/N could only look at him with confusion planted on her face.

"What was what? I just talked to Aiden and-"

"Really? Was it really just a talk?" He asked her and that made her blood boil towards her head. Anger was taking over Y/N by the way he spoke to her.

"It's as if you and Camille didn't have a conversation behind my back." She fired back at him and that just made him chuckle.

"Look. We were just talking about-"

"About her wanting you back, Thomas?" She interrupted him with her arms already crossed to her chest.

He didn't know what to answer so she continued to talk.

"You know what." She started. "I don't even think we need this anymore."

He looked at her and knew where this was about to go but she just looked at her with confusion. "W-what do you mean?"

Y/N sighed and let go of her hands from her chest. She looked at him and tried to not let the tears that were forming from her eyes drop.

"Us pretending, Tom." She finally said it.

And that made both of their hearts ache. Y/N didn't want to let this happen but it was already affecting her and she didn't know how and why.

"Camille is clearly getting jealous of the both of us and that's what you wanted, right? She wants you back." She asked but Tom remained silent. "And now your acting all jealous towards Aiden when what we're doing is just pretend."

Tom sighed and tried to grab your hand. "Come on, Y/N." But instead, you jerked it away.

"See you on the ski trip, Thomas. Then after that, whatever this is will be over." That was the last phrase she said before adjusting her bag to her shoulder and walked away from Tom, leaving him speechless.

He felt his chest tighten as he watched her walk away and that's when he knew...

You've fucked up big time, Holland.

❃ TAGLIST @allthisfortommy @kait4073 @lovebittenbyevans @l0ve-0f-my-life @spiitfiires @robertpattinson-th

[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas - Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Leave a Light On

Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader

-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield, Family!Rosie Holland x Family!Harry Holland (idk really how to do pairings because most characters have interactions with everyone)

-Warnings: Hospital scenes, sadness, blood, typos

-Words: 4.1K

-Key:

Y/M/N = your middle name

Y/L/N = your last name

Y/B/T = your blood type (if you don’t know you can pick a random one, there is O-/+, AB-/+, A+/-, and B-/+)

A/n: I have a too much fun writing the hospital scenes sorry. And before you at me for a second coma, it isn’t one. Some people just take longer to come out of general anesthesia.

Chapter 11: Leave a Light On

Words: 4K

“Oh my god, she still has a pulse” said one of EMTs in the copter.

“Tell the hospital to have as much Y/B/T on hand when we get there.”

“We got you, Mrs. Holland.”

Everything was a blur. You were taunted by your consciousness ebbing like the tide. One minute you were awake, the other not so much. Noises and smells seemed louder and stronger as your sight was stripped from you. A constant buzzing gave the hint of a helicopter, you were rescued. You wanted to give up at that moment. All your energy had dissipated over the hours of waiting. Giving up would make all the pain go away.

But at what cost? You wanted to see Parker’s and Rosie’s smiling face once more. You wanted to see Tom again. Tell him you loved him because you aren’t so sure he truly believed you the last time. You wanted all these things but it seemed you were meant for a different path.

One without pain, struggle and hurt. One that has only known of peace, bliss, and tranquility. One you ready to say goodbye to and the other hello.

Something beyond yourself was keeping in the position you were in. Struggling to bring oxygen to your lungs, bleeding out liter after liter from your side you were ready and needed to give up. Someone else wasn’t ready.

“Mrs. Holland can you hear me?” A doctor said, shining a light in your eyes to see if you were responsive.

“Mrs. Holland, we are going to take good care of you.”

“Oh, wow... she’s soaked entirely through her bandage. I need all the bags from the blood bank of Y/B/T you can find. She could die of exsanguination any moment.

“Tom,” you whispered.

“What was that? Did you hear that?” Asked the hospital staff, working above you. You reached up weakly, to pull your oxygen mask off for a second.

“Tell Tom I love him, please,” was all you could choke out before a terrifying but familiar sound filled the room. A monotone beep. You were coding.

“I need a crash cart in here. Charging to 200… clear,” called out the doctor. Your body jolted up with the force of 200 joules.

“Charging to 300… clear.”

“Charge to 400, CLEAR,” the doctor screamed.

“Charge to 450—.“

“Doctor we aren’t supposed to give that high of a shock,” informed one of the surgical interns.

“I don’t care, this woman needs to see her kids again… Clear,” The doctor said, delivering a final defibrillation. Your heart rate returned to normal, a steady pulse still weak but there.

“Doctor, she has a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) on her right lung,” said one of the medical personnel using the ultrasound. “Shit, we need to get her to the OR now. Let’s move. I’m not going to let her die on me.” The doctor explained.

A plane ride that was only supposed to be 2 hours and 15 minutes melded into what felt like days. No word from Harry or anyone had come about you and Tom. They all landed and took a car to the hospital. It was enough waiting by then, all they knew is that both of you were found. Neglecting to mention dead or alive.

“I’m here for Tom and Y/N Holland. They were airlifted in. Can we see them?” Nikki asked the person at the front desk.

“No hablo ingles, lo siento,” said the receptionist

“IS THERE ANYBODY HERE WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH?” Dom screamed. “Yes, I do. Did I hear you say you are here for Tom and Y/N Holland?” Asked a man clad in a white lab coat.

“Yes. He’s my son and she’s my daughter-in-law. These are their kids.” Nikki explained gesturing to Parker and Rosie.

“Well ma’am if you’ll follow me. I can tell you in private.” “No, whatever needs to be said, they can hear. They want to hear.” “Still follow me to a private waiting room please, your son is in there. Everyone can come,” the doctor concluded. “Alright then,” Nikki responded, following the doctor to a private waiting room.

“Harry.” Rosie said, seeing her favorite uncle.

“You made it, I’ve been waiting for you guys to hear an update.” Harry was so happy to see the rest of his family. “It’s bad, it was really bad,” Harry explained somberly. “Enough with the dilly dally, just tell me. Is my son dead?” Nikki couldn’t take the waiting anymore.

“They were both brought in barely conscious. Tom had lost some blood due to an open wound on his femur, he has a severe concussion, a few cracked ribs and a small knick on his kidney. He is currently in surgery, they are fixing his kidney. The most he will have is a few stitches but, we are very confident he’ll pull through,” explained the doctor.

“And my mom?” Rosie asked.

“Y/N is currently in surgery, she has protruding wound to the abdomen, a collapsed lung, broken ribs, and a severe concussion. She lost a lot of blood, almost dying of exsanguination. She is in surgery to treat her abdominal wound and her lung. Our biggest concern is sepsis, we are worried an infection caused by the elements will occur.”

“So she’ll be okay, right?” Parker questioned.

“She wasn’t conscious like Tom when they found her. In her case the amount of blood she lost might have stopped bringing oxygen to her brain. If she survives the surgery—“

“If?” Rosie gasped, starting to cry.

“Rosie, let him finish,” Parker snapped.

“If she survives, we don’t know when or if she will wake up. We can only hope for the best. I promise to come back with any further updates.”

“Thank you doctor,” said Nikki.

“I need some tea or coffee or a drink. Anyone else?” Sam said, Dom nodded in response.

“I’ll join you and dad,” Paddy said following Dom and Sam out of the room.

Parker was trying to keep everything inside. He actually appreciated the uncertainty of it all, the longer it went on the longer he didn’t have to hear a definitive answer, that you and Tom were dead.

Parker mainly tried to comfort Rosie but that position was filled once Haz and Henry got to the hospital. It was only 30 mins til another doctor approached them.

“Your son is out of surgery. He is resting in room 302, we are just waiting for him to come out of general anesthesia,” came in another doctor with news.

“Thank you. And my daughter-in-law?”

“She is still in surgery,” informed the doctor.

“Ok, thank you. I’m going to go check on Tom. Parker come with?” Nikki asked, she didn’t want to be alone seeing Tom lie in a hospital bed.

“Sure,” Parker said, following Nikki through the door.

“Harry, you’ll stay here with Rosie,” Nikki called out.

“How you doing, Roo?” Harry asked, moving towards Rosie’s side.

“My mom calls me that,” she said, unmoving towards Harry’s love.

Rosie was still like a statue. But her mind was very active, traveling from place to place. Just waiting for someone to update her on your condition.

“I know. She’ll pull through, Rosie.”

“How can you be so certain?”

“Cause I know your mom. For as long as I can remember she has always been the strongest person in the room.” Harry comforted her, draping an arm over her shoulders. “Your dad is convinced she is indestructible. Sure, she has gotten hurt in the past but she has always bounced back. Hasn’t she?” Harry encouraged.

“Yeah, she has,” Rosie sniffled, wiping her nose with her sweater’s sleeve.

“After everything she has survived, she is still here,” Harry asserted. “When she and your dad first were dating, they’d like to scare each other. Tom must’ve pulled something like 20 guns on her. It was really funny to watch,” Harry grinned.

“Tell me more stories please,” Rosie perked up at the anecdotes.

“Well there was that time when your mom told your dad about being pregnant with both you and Parker.”

“I already know that one.”

“Ok, let me think… oh. One time we pulled a prank on her. All of us, me, your dad, Sam, Paddy and Haz. She was supposed to speak at this benefit promoting something… I want to say a disease… maybe climate change… who cares,” Harry began. “But she is better at it now but she used to be so scared of public speaking. That night at the gala, she had a panic attack and Tom went to comfort her backstage, while the boys and I all went into her purse and switched out her speech for the joke one we made.”

“She went on stage and broke in to a laughing fit. All her nerves dissipated as she stood up there, cracking jokes from left and right. It was really funny because she was so scared she would read whatever was written on the cards. She did end up making a fool out of herself, but it was funny nonetheless. She was so mad at us, she avoided Tom for a week,” Harry finished, reminiscing of that night.

“Wow, that’s mean. Like really mean,” Rosie remarked as his story came to an end.

“No it wasn’t. It was funny, she’ll laugh about it now if you ask her.”

“Was she as mad as she has been lately?” Rosie inquired.

“What do you mean?”

“Mom and dad have been fighting a lot… I’m scared they won’t be able to work it out. I’ve never seem them like this,” Rosie cried, fighting back a fit of sobs.

“Roo, those two? Are you kidding me? They will work it out, they always have.”

“But that isn’t a guarantee.”

“Rosie, your mom and dad have been written in the stars since the beginning. Nothing will ever break them apart. And almost dying really brings people back together. I wouldn’t worry Rosie, they’ll be ok,” Harry consoled her.

Rosie really needed to hear that. Something to get her mind off all the death and sickness that surrounded her. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. She needed you to hold her once more.

“Mrs. Holland, Y/N is out of surgery now. If you’ll follow me I can take you to her room,” a doctor said to Nikki as she was stroking Tom’s hair, waiting for him to wake up.

“Oh thank god, thank you. Parker do you want to come?” Nikki asked.

“No, I think I’ll stay here with dad. In case he wakes up. I’m not ready to see her like that anyway,” Parker mumbled, needing every excuse to not walk into your room.

Nikki just nodded in response. Nikki was there when Rosie was in her coma and she knew you liked to talk to her as if she was there, so she did the same.

“Hey, Y/N. I’m sorry this happened. The doctors have warned me that you might not wake up and I’m here to tell you that’s not an option. Your kids need you. Tom needs you…. He won’t be able to live without you. None of us will,” Nikki said, holding you hand. As soon as Rosie got word, she was already there. Standing in your doorway peering at your sunken body.

“Mom? It’s Rosie…. It’s your Roo,… why isn’t she waking up?” Rosie came barging in. She’d never seen you in a state like this.

“Mom? Mommy, please,” Rosie said, starting to shake you a bit.

“Rosie, come here,” Nikki said, pulling her into her arms. “She’ll be ok. All we have to do is wait.” Nikki concluded.

In Tom’s room, Parker was still there by his dad’s side. Everything had gotten massively screwed up. He was betraying his own dad and Tom didn’t even know.

“Parker?” Tom croaked out, slightly moving.

“Dad, I’m so glad you are okay,” Parker lunged to hug him.

“Me too, buddy,” Tom said, gritting his teeth to mask the pain.

“How’s mom?” Tom asked, praying you were still alive. It had been a rough night. Images of your half-dead body leaning against him for support plagued his memory.

“Umm… you should see for yourself.”

“What room is she in?” Tom asked, jumping out of bed.

“Dad, I don’t think it’s such a good idea you get up,” Parker exclaimed.

“Parker, don’t you dare stand in my way.”

“Mr. Holland, you’re awake — woah, you can’t get up. Your stitches could rip,” the nurse spoke with a thick Spanish accent.

“I don’t care. Let me see my wife,” Tom yelled.

“You may need to sedate him,” Parker said cheekily.

“Fuck that,” Tom cursed.

“You aren’t doing anything to me till I see her,” Tom asserted, the nurse just nodded in response and brought him a wheel chair.

Parker wheeled him through the hospital. He was about to face his fear as well as Tom. It both being the fact that you were dead and not longer living. They weren’t ready for that.

Tom came into your room and it was like a time machine. All those times he was walked into a room similar to this one with the white walls, white sheets, bright blinding lights and the machines that beep to no end. He was taken back to every time he had seen you lying in a hospital bed.

All the times he knew he hadn’t protected you. All the guilt and anguish came flooding back. Washing over him like a tsunami.

He walked in to see everyone gathered around you. Rosie was sitting on the left side of your bed, clutching your left hand and Henry was next to her keeping an arm around her shoulder. Tom didn’t care about them anymore, all that mattered was you.

“Dad, you’re awake!” Rosie cheered, as she saw Tom in the doorway.

“Yeah baby, I’m okay,” he said, holding Rosie close to his chest.

“I’m scared, dad. I’m scared she won’t wake up,” Rosie cried.

“I know. I am too.” Tom responded, his eyes still fixed to your lifeless figure.

“You know it was just a 5 weeks ago, you were lying a hospital bed just like mom. And she was holding on to your hand just like you are to her. And if you woke up from that, I can promise you she’ll wake up from this,” Tom encouraged.

“You really think so?” Rosie queried.

“I know so.… You know what your mom loves to tell me?”

“No. What?”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“It sounds like her,” Rosie chucked to herself.

“Yeah, it does.” Tom did the same, he was the one keeping you here. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye. 17 years was nothing compared to lifetime he was destined to have with you. Nobody accounts for the times where something so drastic happens that it can change your entire timeline.

Nobody believes they will die tomorrow or get hit by a bus anywhere. People just live in day to day life thinking that they have a 100 years to go.

You’d think by now, he’d gotten used to seeing you in a hospital bed. Maybe grown accustomed to it. On the contrary, every time he’d see you like this he’d go weak at the knees and beg to switch places with you. To be the one lying there, on death’s door, not you

Every time he has made a promise, your life has been put on the line. You are constantly caught in the crossfires. Tom slowly remembered why he hated hospitals so much, especially when they were associated with you.

“We’ll give you two a minute,” Nikki said, motioning for everyone to clear the room so it was just Tom and you.

“Hey, darling. I told you we’d make it. We had two choices either we died together or we made it together.” Tom began, trying not to cry.

“Y/N, I’m standing here and I’m okay. So it’s only a matter of time before I see you again. We promised it would be us together. Don’t you dare go back on that promise from ages ago, I’m supposed to go before you. Ok? It’s supposed to me. You promised me.”

“This one that you have to keep. I know it might be nearly impossible to, love. But there is no but or if, there is only you waking up and seeing me. Seeing your husband who loves you more than life itself. Seeing our two beautiful kids. I know I haven’t been your favorite person lately, so don’t do it for me. Do it for them, Parker and Rosie. They need you, more than they know.”

“Alright princess, it's only a matter of time. I’ll see you soon.” Tom finished, pressing a kiss to your forehead. One of longing, he just wanted to see your smiling face again. He let himself go completely, breaking down the flood gates. Tears started coming and they didn’t stop, they couldn’t.

Haz peered through the open door, to see Tom crying over you, he immediately jumped into best mate mode and went to comfort Tom.

“Hey. It’s ok. You can let it out,” Harrison said, pulling Tom into his arms.

“I was so awful to her Haz. I let her think I cheated on her so she wouldn’t be mad about Rosie and Henry,” Tom cried out.

“Why? What did you do? You know what, that’s not important right now. The point is she will pull through.”

“She could be dying and the last moment I can only remember with her is our fight. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

“She’s not dying, Tom. Y/N has survived much more than this and promise you, you will say hello again.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Tom said, taking a line from your vernacular.

“Come on, let’s get some coffee… Here, hop on. I’ll push you,” Haz said, grabbing Tom’s wheelchair

“For fucks sake, you aren’t pushing me. I’m not some sick, crippled patient.” Tom exclaimed.

“Well… you did just get out of surgery.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to let my helicopter crashing be the reason I can’t walk and I am looked at with pity.”

“Alright Tom, I believe we were going to get some coffee.”

“I don’t want to leave her alone,” Tom whispered.

“Rosie will be in here in a moment,” Haz explained.

“Ok.. Roo, can you go sit with your mom while I get your dad some coffee?” Haz asked. Tom still didn’t want to leave you but he knew you would want him to eat something.

“Yes, I’ll keep her safe.”

“I know you will, baby… Hold it. Hey Henry, can I talk to you?” Tom said, holding Henry back from entering the room.

“Dad,” Rosie said, sternly.

“Don’t worry, sweetie,” Tom said pulling Henry to the side.

“I’m sorry Tom.. um I mean Mr. Holland but I love your daughter more than anything,” Henry stammered.

“I just wanted to say thank you for being there for her when.. you know,” Tom admitted.

“Of course, I love her very much. And if the time every comes where I plan on marrying her I will ask for hands in marriage,” Henry promised.

“Woah kid, slow down. This is permission to date. No talking or even thinking about marriage, you understand. Also wear a fucking condom.”

“Yes, sir. Understood… Thanks Tom.”

“You’re a good kid, Henry. She’s in good hands,” Tom grinned, Henry just smiled and returned to Rosie. Returning to his rightful place, in her arms.

“Haz, did you bring me a change of clothes. I need to get out of this fucking gown,” Tom chuckled.

“Are you sure that’s a good ide—“ Haz started but was soon cut off.

“Eh, eh,” Tom interrupted giving him a harsh glare.

“You are not weak, I get it. Yeah, they are in my bag,” Haz concluded.

Tom said, “Thank you,” in return.

The waiting was back and it was killing Tom once again. This time he wasn’t waiting for both your impending deaths, just yours. It was eating him from the inside out.

You didn’t have enough time together. It wasn’t enough. Tom desired more, he needed more. All your favorite moments of you played through his head. Like he was watching a movie of his life with you, his love story.

One specifically, the day he proposed to you. It was hard to top his happiness that day.

All the days leading up to it he was distant and flighty. It worried it you greatly. Was he planning to break up with you? You were consumed with never-ending negative thoughts about your relationship.

It had been a while since you and Tom had a date night. He’d blown you off a few times to plan out the perfect proposal, afraid he’d let the question just slip out somehow. However, that was unknown to you so all you thought was, he’s an ass.

Tom was in his office, planning out how he was going to do it. What he would wear, where he would propose, what would he say. What would you say? He was nervous wreck.

“Haz, I can’t have anyone come in here ok?” Tom ordered. He must’ve practiced it 7 times. Getting down on one knee and declaring his love for you behind closed doors.

“Understood, Tom,” Haz said, giving him a cheeky grin as he closed his door. Not even 10 mins later, you came barging in through the front door. In a fury because Tom hadn’t returned any of your calls.

“Where is he?” You asked Haz. “Y/N?” He said, confused as to why you were here. Well, you did live there.

“Where’s Tom? I have to talk to him,” you asserted. “Why am I asking you? Of course, he is in his study,” you replied to your own question.

“NO, you can’t go in there,” Haz said, following you to Tom’s office.

“And why not?”

“He’s in a meeting.”

“What meeting would he have a 10:30 at night… Unless?” Your heart sank at the possibility of Tom not alone in there.

“Unless what?”

“He has a woman in there doesn’t he?”

“Umm.”

“It’s fine. I’ll go. You won’t see me around anymore. He chose her over me,” you said, trying not to cry. But you weren’t going to put up a fight.

“Y/N it’s not like that,” Haz called after you, trying to stop you from walking away.

“Then what is it Haz?”

“I can’t tell you?… Just go in there and see for yourself.”

“I don’t want see them.”

“Just do it,” Haz ordered, you eventually agreed. Opening the door to a very well-dressed Tom down on one knee holding a blue velvet box in his hands.

“People always spoke of soulmates and I didn’t believe them. But then I found you. And I had never been so happy to be proven wrong. Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N you make me want to be a better man. You are my inspiration for everything. I can’t ever imagine living without you. Will you marry me?” Tom said, oblivious to you standing right there.

“Yes,” you said without hesitation.

“No! No, no. You weren’t supposed to see that. Haz I told you to guard the door,” Tom yelled.

“Yes, Tommy. I’ll marry you”, you continued, hoping he’d hear you.

“God, it's ruined now. I’m so sorry. I had this huge plan take you to the London eye,” Tom apologized profusely, running his hands through the curls atop his head in frustration.

“Tom, you're not hearing me. I want to be your wife,” you exclaimed, you couldn’t contain your excitement.

“You do?” Tom surprised at your answer.

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been saying. YES!” You screamed. Tom immediately grabbed you twirling you in the air and kissed you with all the love and passion you deserved. He had been neglecting you so he wouldn’t spoil it.

He put the ring on your finger. It looked as though it was home. You were his and he was yours. Nothing could top that moment.

Thinking about you and the time spent together. It made it that much harder to say goodbye.

Tom was brought out of his trance as you stirred, starting to wake. All heads and eyes turned towards you.

“Y/N. Honey, it’s ok. You were in a helicopter crash. You’re ok. You’re ok. I’m so happy to see you,” Tom whispered, tucking the hair out of your face.

The moment you came to, your eyes widened and a look of panic adorned your face. You were completely lost. Unaware of all your surroundings. You managed to croak out three words. Not an “I love you,” not words of love, quite the opposite.

“Who are you?”

A/n: Alright, Y/N lived. As I promised, there are 17 chapter in this series, 6 more to go. I will start writing the sequel series once all these chapters have been posted, even though I have it already planned out in my head lol. New chapters every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @dummiesshort @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @bi-lmg @allthisfortommy

[kl4us4]

AMPLIFICATION (Spencer Reid x Profiler!Reader)

Summary: S4 E24, where Spencer is poisoned by anthrax.

masterlist

Warning: angsty, bit sad, building tension

Within 18 hours of their common time together, 12 people who visited Quiet Hills Park in Annapolis, Maryland, have died from anthrax poisoning, with at least 13 more in emergency rooms headed in the same direction. You were with Emily and Rossi when he had gotten the call from Morgan. At the time, you weren’t sure what the hell it was about. Another attack maybe? The unsub’s been poisoning areas around town, spreading powdered anthrax into the air. It takes as little as three hours to settle into its victims’ system, filling their lungs and brain with blood before they die.

Rossi’s face fell slightly, you noticed it. If it had been anyone who knew him less, they wouldn’t have taken note of his change in demeanour. But you know him. And the way his eyes flicked to you before he hung up the phone had made your stomach sink. He wouldn’t provide any updates, only that you were all needed back at the BAU HQ.

“Hotch wants to speak to you himself.” That was all Rossi had said to you. And that was it. You kept quiet the ride to the office. Emily and Rossi spoke about the case and the possible unsub. You’d have joined in but an unsettling pain in your gut was making you feel uneasy.

And when you had walked into the office, you felt Hotch’s eyes immediately find you. They had lingered on you. That was when you got the first inkling that something was off. Something bad. Hotch mumbled something to a military officer, walking past him to stand with JJ and Garcia as the rest of the team approached. Everyone was on edge, that much was clear. The air in the office was stale and riddled with nerves. Spencer and Morgan weren’t there, that was the second clue that something had gone horribly wrong.

“Some of you have heard,” Hotch began, his solemn eyes moved around the group with an intensity you’d never seen before. His eyebrows were furrowed more than usual, and his posture was stiff. But you could tell at the time that he tried to come off as casual and calm. “Morgan and Reid visited the potential unsubs house. They found traces of anthrax. Morgan didn’t make it inside the house but Reid is in there now getting intel on our unsub. I can confirm he has come into contact with anthrax.”

You can’t even explain how deeply your stomach had sunk in that moment. There was a chill that settled in the room, you felt it raise the hairs on your arms as it brought a cool sweat to your neck. The only thing you could think of was that young girl you and Reid had spoken to in the ER just hours before. She was coughing up blood and could barely move, all because of anthrax. The same anthrax that was making its way through Spencer’s body, destroying everything it could as fast as it could. And by the end of it, he wouldn’t be able to even say his own name. 

When Hotch spoke your name, if broke you free of your panicked mind and you met his concerned gaze, “Got that? Help Garcia make a geographical profile, look for anything in his past that could tie into a new target area.” You just nodded at your superior and everyone left to do their assigned jobs. “Y/L/N,” Hotch muttered, his voice deep and quiet but stern enough to get your attention.

You swallowed the lump in your throat before you turned back to Hotch. You did everything you could to keep eye contact with him. “Sir?”

“I need to know your head is in the right place,” He states, his voice wasn’t harsh or disappointed; it was calm and understanding, “I need everyone’s full attention on this case, many lives depend on it. If you’re unable to work this case, let me know now.”

“I’m able,” you responded quickly, with an eager nod, “I’m sure.”

Hotch seemed... unconvinced. But if he was truly worried, he didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t pull you from the case or grill you harshly to see where you’re truly at. Hotch had seen the eager way you tried to assure him that you were okay. And in that moment, where you had given him a desperate nod, he realised that you needed to work this case. If you didn’t, you would have nothing to keep you distracted from the impending death your boyfriend was in. So, Hotch, being ever formal, just gave you a small nod. And he placed a gentle hand on your tense shoulder. It was comforting, you needed it. It made you feel less alone. When Hotch left you, you couldn’t help but stand there for a second with your eyes shut. You tore any thought of Spencer from your mind. This is a case. You reminded yourself. This is an important case. And when you opened your eyes again, you headed straight to Garcia’s lair.

You stared at the map of the area. The abrasive red, showing the places he’s already attacked. The yellow, showing possible targets. And the blue, his residence. It was almost as though your eyes were engrossed by the blue as you watched, thinking, analysing, profiling where an unsub like this would go next.

“Spencer,” you snapped your head to Garcia, seeing her smiling as she placed a hand on her headset. Your eyes were slightly wide as you watched her, seeing her press a few buttons.

“What, no witty greeting?” Spencer questioned, his voice sounded rough and dry. You squeezed your eyes shut at the sound of it. For all you had known at the time, that was possibly the last time you would ever hear his voice.

“It’s hard to be my sparkly self when you are where you are,” Garcia admitted to her sick friend, her brown eyes were stuck to the floor.

Spencer took a pause, shuffling around a bit. You could almost picture him holding his phone up to his ear, leaning against a table with his other arm. Or sitting down, one leg draped over the other, looking around the room as he speaks. “Uh, Garcia,” he took a shaky breath, “I need a favour.”

“Anything.”

“I need you to - to send my mom a message. From me. I just... I need her to hear my voice - if anything happens to me.”

It was too much. It was way too much. You quickly left the room, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the tears from coming. This is a case. This is an important case. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. You hung outside of Garcia’s room, unable to hear the muffled conversation until she pulled the door open. Her face was on the other side, giving you a sympathetic and kind expression; one that you couldn’t return even if you tried.

“Any updates?” You asked Garcia, wishing that her eyes didn’t look so curious. She looked like she wanted to question you about the whole thing like she wanted to press you about sharing your emotions. This isn’t an unfamiliar thing for Garcia to do. So you knew the look she was giving you at the time.

“They know who it is. They have a location.” She responded, watching as you reached for your gun and badge. She gave you the address.

“I can kill everyone here!” The unsub now screams, his voice echoing through the tunnel of the subway. You watch as he grips his duffel bag by his side so hard that his knuckles turn white. No one understands, no one can possibly know why he’s doing this. He’s trying to help. He wants everyone to know that THIS is what happens when people are unprepared - when people don’t listen. You see Hotch, Morgan, and Prentiss aiming their guns at him rapidly. They’re watching him like hawks watch their prey. But you can tell they’re afraid. “I’ll do it!” Chad shouts.

“Why would you do that?” you ask him calmly, lowering your gun gently and placing it back into your holster, “We have the General of Detrick who wants to meet with you. He’s on his way down right now.”

Hotch quietly speaks into his radio, requesting the General to come down to the subway with them. “He... he is?” Chad asks, his grasp on the duffel bag looser now.

“Of course he is,” you give him a small smile, “You created a strain of anthrax never seen before.”

“I did,” he mumbles to himself, letting go of his duffel bag, “Where is he?” He asks, more forcefully now. When you don’t answer straight away, he grips his bag tighter again, “Where is he?!”

“Right here.” General Whitworth speaks up, descending the subway stairs. He walks to Chad, a calm yet slightly forced smile on his face. “Chad Brown, yes? I’m General Whitworth. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now.”

The way Chad’s face lights up gives you some hope. An unsub like this wants recognition from a high power or authority. Now that he’s getting it, he won’t try anything else. “Really?” Chad mumbles, in awe of the man in front of him.

“Really,” the General responds, “Now, how about we get that bag from you so we can talk, huh?”

Chad nods, removing his bag gently and handing it to another officer. And just like that, Morgan is by Chad's side, handcuffs on his wrists and arresting the confused man. You can’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. Not yet. Turning to Hotch, he hasn’t even put his gun away when you walk up to him.

“Sir,” you get his attention, “Can I - uh, may I go-”

“Go,” he nods, “Go see him.”

Rushing through the emergency wing, you search for him. There are so many people, you almost walk right past him. But there he is, curtains draw around most of his bed as he sleeps. Making your way beside him, the closer you get, the slower you move. God, he looks so tired. He’s always had bags under his eyes but with the way his skin has gone pale, they look multiplied. His forehead glistens with a bit of sweat and his hair is messy. But his vitals seem steady, you sneak a look at his chart, flicking through to the most updated page.

Stable. Positive outcome. Treatment successful.

“Hey... That’s personal information.”

Looking up, you see Spencer squinting down at you as he tries to open his eyes fully. “Spencer,” you breathe out, rushing to his side. You pull the chair closer to his bed, sitting down beside him, “Don’t, don’t move too much. How do you feel?”

He lets out a grunt, ignoring what you say and sitting up anyways, “I’ve been better.” He admits. His voice is still rough and dry, despite there being a glass of water on his bedside table. It must be a side effect.

“Here,” you mutter, gently handing him the glass.

He takes it, hands slightly shaky with weakness as he brings the glass to his mouth and takes a sip. You place it back on the table for him. It’s only then that the two of you share a look. It’s filled with the silence of the curtained square but the bustling hospital outside.

Just like that, solely from being able to meet his gaze, you feel tears beginning to build up in your eyes. “No, no,” he mumbles quietly, arms stretched out towards you, “No, don’t cry.”

Spencer cradles you in his arms, bringing your head to rest on his chest. His hands rub your back, attempting all he can to soothe you as you sob gently against him. “You’re such an idiot,” you grunt against him, pulling back to wipe at your eyes, “You’re such an idiot, you should’ve left that room.”

“You know that I couldn’t,” he responds casually, knowing you don’t mean it - you’re just allowing all the built-up stress to flow out of you now that you’re no longer on the clock. “I’m sorry I had you all worried.” He gives you a small smile, “I’m okay, really. The doctor said I’m going to be fine.”

You nod, inhaling deeply as you sit back in your chair. You hold his hand though, squeezing it tenderly. “I could’ve lost you today,” you admit to him, “All I wanted to do was see you - but I couldn’t. I had to make a stupid map,” you let out a pathetic laugh, “And the whole time I just kept thinking-” you cut yourself off, shutting your eyes as more tears find their way to your cheeks. The same sinking feeling makes your chest ache and you begin to feel like you can’t breathe.

“No, Y/N, it’s-”

“I just - I kept thinking about when I could finally see you. And I - I didn’t want to be late. I kept having this thought that I would rush here and it’d be too late and I - I-“ you sniff, letting out a sob as you shake your head, “I’d just be too late and you’d just be... gone.” You admit to him, letting the tears coat lines down your face. Spencer listens, eyes stuck on you as he tears up at seeing you cry. “I didn’t make it in time and you were alone.”

“Hey, I’m here. I’m right here.” He squeezes your hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a long, slow kiss to it before he looks up at you, “And so are you.” You swallow the lump in your throat, giving him a small nod and gentle smile. “Now, come here,” he gives you a smile, gesturing for you to be closer to him.

Letting out a small chuckle, you lean forward to Spence. You meet one another in a slow kiss, savouring this moment. When you pull back, Spencer presses his lips to your forehead.

“I brought Jello.” Sitting back, you turn to see Morgan holding a red cup in his hand. He gives Spencer a grateful smile, “Good to see you, kid.”

“Likewise,” Spencer responds, giving Morgan a friendly expression. Morgan notices the tears on both your faces and the way the two of you try to discreetly wipe them away. But he says nothing, he just sits down beside you and begins to eat his jello as the conversation moves on.

[amelialincoln]

I’m Okay Now

“Sorry, I’m here,” Amelia huffed, sliding into the booth beside Meredith and spilling the contents of her bag over the table. “Shit.” Mer laughed as she took in Amelia’s catastrophic entrance which was nothing out of the ordinary. Maggie took in the exasperated neurosurgeon’s appearance, frowning slightly.

“Amelia you’re--”

“Spilling out of my shirt?” She finished for her sister. “Yeah, I’m aware.” She grabbed the medical booklet that had flown out of her bag and held it up for them both to see. “I stopped taking the pill cause I’m looking at IUD options and my hormones are fluctuating like crazy.” She tucked her sore chest back into her bra that had become two sizes too small. “Did you guys order?” Maggie and Meredith shared a look that Amelia couldn’t recognize.

“We just got a bunch of things for the table,” Mer explained. “Maggie’s been waiting for you to tell us.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” Amelia’s breathing was still heavy, as if she’d run all the way from the hospital. “But I am intrigued, it’s not often that the three of us go out for breakfast to reveal some big news--”

“Winston wants me to move,” Maggie blurted out, tired of Amelia’s rambling. “He’s already arranged a position for me at his hospital. He wants me to leave Grey Sloan.” Amelia choked on her glass of water.

“What?” She exclaimed.

“Is that what you want?” Meredith asked at the same time.

“I mean, I don’t know…” Maggie sighed. “He never really took into consideration the idea of moving here. I mean I’m probably more highly regarded at Grey Sloan than he is at his hospital.” 

“Yeah you are. Girl power,” Amelia whooped, receiving a small smile from Maggie.

“I’ve just built a life here. I’m not sure I want to start over.”

“That’s your right,” Meredith added as their food arrived at the table. Amelia wrinkled her nose at the sight of bacon and pushed that specific plate away.

 “You love bacon and eggs,” Mer narrowed her eyes at Amelia’s disgust.

“Uh yeah, not feeling it right now though. Trade plates with me, Maggie? I’ll take the fruit.” Maggie raised her eyebrows but passed her the plate all the same. “So are you gonna do it?” 

Maggie sighed, “I mean I love Winston.” She spoke the words as if she were testing them out loud. “And that’s not something I say lightly.”

“We’d miss you,” Amelia interrupts with a mouthful full of fruit and receives a look of disapproval from Meredith.

“Well exactly.” Maggie smooths her braids. “I don’t think I could leave you guys behind.”

“Then you shouldn’t have to.” Meredith shakes her head.

“But then we’re stuck,” Maggie’s tone is exasperated, she’d run every possibility over in her head. “There’s no way to advance or grow in our relationship. Long distance is fine if it's temporary but what’s the point of all this if we don’t see an end goal together.” 

“Where do you see you both ending up,” Amelia asks. “In your perfect world.”

“Well he’d be here,” Maggie spoons yogurt into her mouth. “In my perfect world we’d be in Seattle.”

“Then you need to tell him that.” Amelia sets her fork down and is surprised to find Meredith nodding in agreement. “Fuck, I don’t feel good,” she muttered under breath as she steadied herself by pressing a her fingertips on the side of the table.

“For god sakes, Amelia, it’s because you're pregnant,” Meredith rolled her eyes. “For a doctor you could not be more oblivious.” Amelia’s eyes flew open in shock.

“It’s not...I’m not.” The tone in her voice was wavering. Maggie couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.

“Don’t sound so unaware,” Meredith teased, “I could name off five symptoms since you got here.” She expected the neurosurgeon to come back with a classic Amelia style response but instead she was lost in thought.

“Amelia,” Maggie’s voice was so quiet it was barely heard. “Is Link--”

“He’s away,” Amelia swallowed, hard, “in LA. Some pro athlete called him in cause he wanted the best. We haven’t talked about kids.”

“Well we can try and act as your big calm mountain until he gets back,” Maggie offered.

“Can we just get back to your thing right now?” Amelia pleaded, she avoided her sister’s looks of concern as she took a swig of her water and tried to ignore the fact that she wished it was the mimosa that Meredith was sipping on. Meredith’s phone buzzed on the table and the general surgeon glanced down before shoving the phone in her purse and gathering her wallet.

“That’s the hospital.” She looked at Maggie sympathetically. “We can finish this conversation tonight? Will breakfast on me make up for this?” 

“Mer it’s fine,” Maggie assured her.

“Wouldn’t complain though,” Amelia mumbled, receiving a glare from Maggie. Meredith set her card on the table and scooted past Amelia before heading hurriedly out of the restaurant.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Maggie asked immediately after her departure, watching Amelia swirl her spoon around in her coffee. She’d already had three cups today and doubted the amount of caffeine was good for the situation she might’ve gotten herself in. “Cause I know you and Mer’s relationship is...complicated and if you didn’t want to talk about it with her I’m here.” 

“I haven’t taken a test, Maggie,” Amelia snapped, her tone harsher than she’d intended. Maggie sighed, leaning back in her chair. “Sorry, I’m just overwhelmed. I wish Link were here.”

“I know how that feels,” Maggie shrugged, handing Mer’s credit card to the waiter as she came to their table.

“That was insensitive of me--” Amelia began as Maggie held up her hand to quiet her.

“Let’s just get out of here.”

Meredith’s emergency surgery ended up being a twelve hour one. Amelia pulled off Ellis’ snow boots and smiled as the little girl ran off into the living room to play with her siblings.

“Hey Elle belle,” she whispered and motioned for the child to come back. “Since your teacher said you did such a great job on your math homework, you can pick what’s for dinner.” Ellis’ eyes lit up and she shrieked with excitement. Amelia winced as she felt her head begin to pound.

“Mac n cheese?” She asked.

“Sure, baby.” Amelia was relieved that she’d picked something so simple. Ellie wrapped her arms around Amelia’s legs in response, whispering that Amelia was her favourite aunt and to not tell aunt Maggie. To which Amelia rolled her eyes. “Nice try, you told her that she was your favourite aunt yesterday.” Ellis pressed a finger to her lips as if Maggie wasn’t at work and was listening in the other room.

“You’re my favourite aunt today,” she promised before running off once again. Amelia’s phone buzzed and Link’s face illuminated the screen.

“Hey,” she mumbled softly, “you just get off the plane?”

“Yep!” She winced at Link’s loud and cheery voice, wondering how he could always be so full of energy. “I was thinking of picking up some food on the way home. Do you have any requests?”

“Oh.” She realized she’d completely forgotten to update him on the last minute change of plans. “I’m not at the apartment. Meredith got pulled into a surgery and Maggie’s working the night shift so I’m watching the kids.”

“Okay, no worries.” He quieted down to match her tone. “Do you want me to pick up something and bring it there? We can put the kids down early and watch a movie.”

Amelia’s stomach turned at the idea of food. “I’m not really hungry but I’m up for a movie.” 

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked, not remembering a time where Amelia hadn’t been ‘up for food’. “I could pick up soup or something?” Amelia ran a nervous hand through her hair.

“Yeah, actually I need you to go to the store.”

“Okay, just send me a list, you know I’m no good at grocery shopping.” She could hear Link asking for a cab.

“No, Link, I need a--” she turned to see Bailey hovering over Ellis’ head with a pair of scissors. “Bailey! Don’t you dare cut your sister’s hair!” Bailey’s eyes widened, dropping the scissors guiltily. “I need a pregnancy test,” she practically yelled into the phone. Zola glanced up in confusion as her siblings carried on playing, completely unfazed. The other end of the phone was silent almost long enough for Amelia to check if they’d lost connection.

“Pregnancy test?” Link confirmed.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” he swallowed. “See you soon.” He hung up quickly. Amelia tossed her phone away in annoyance and angrily filled a pot with water setting it on the stove. She didn’t know she’d begun to cry until hot tears were clouding her vision.

“Auntie Amelia?” Zola’s voice rang out beside her and Amelia jumped. “Are you okay?”

“Hey, sweetheart.” Amelia forced a smile, rubbing her eyes with her shirt sleeve. “Yeah, I’m all good.” Zola didn’t seem to take that as an answer, crossing her arms in front of her and staring up at her aunt patiently. Amelia sighed, pouring the box of Annie’s into the boiling water. 

“Are you having a baby?” 

“I don’t know,” she responded truthfully. “I’m not sure if your uncle and I are ready for that.” Despite her and Link not being married the kids referred to him as uncle so much that the title had stuck.

“Whenever Uncle Link braids Ellis’ hair he always says it’s because he’s practicing for when you and him have a kid,” Zola says this simply, as if it’s common knowledge. Amelia almost drops the plastic bowls she’d been retrieving from the cupboard.

“He said that?” 

“Like every time.” Zola rolls her eyes. “Are you making Annie’s?”

“Yes,” Amelia sighed, not wanting to hear any complaints from her niece.

“Good,” she wrinkled her nose. “Bailey likes Kraft Dinner but Annie’s is way better.”

“I hear nothing but facts.” Link’s voice surprises them. Amelia turns to meet his gaze. “Hey.” He holds a plastic bag in one hand and a duffle bag in the other.

“Uncle Link!” Zola runs to hug him, her squeal alerting the other two from their game in the living room. Bailey is throwing a bouncy ball at Link seconds later and Ellis follows him giggling. Link bent down to greet the three of them, allowing Ellis to wrap her pudgy fingers around his neck and kiss his cheek affectionately. Once he’s greeted each one separately, he moves to wrap his arms around his girlfriend, staring over her shoulder as she stirs the pasta slowly.

“You okay?” He pressed some tentative kisses on her neck as she relaxed into his embrace.

“All good,” she moved to strain the noodles before stirring in the rest of the ingredients and spooning the pasta into bowls. “Want some?” 

“I ended up picking up pizza,” he answered guiltily. “It was across from the CVS.” She ignored his attempt to bring up the test, instead calling out for the kids and handing each of them a bowl.

“You’re not hungry?”

“Nauseous.” She bit her lip worriedly, not wanting to meet his eyes. “If I eat I’ll throw up. Learned that this morning.” She glanced at the table instead. “Bailey, if I see you throw food at Ellis one more time I’m going to have a chat with your mother!”

“Annie’s mac and cheese sucks!” Bailey shot back with defiance.

“Well that’s unfortunate for you because tonight it’s your dinner.” Amelia shrugged.

“Irritable much?” Link had meant it as a joke but as he said it out loud he immediately regretted it. Amelia didn’t even look at him, no energy for a witty response. Instead she turned to the sink and started on the dishes. “I can do the dishes,” he offered.

“Can you just put them to bed?” She asked without glancing up from the soapy water. “I could use a minute alone.” 

She finished the dishes as Link dragged the squealing group of children up the stairs, knowing immediately by the ruckus that they’d convinced him to build a fort and he wouldn’t be down for a while. She finally brought herself to peek into the plastic bag Link had brought home. As promised, there were two pregnancy tests inside along with her favourite chocolate bar and ginger tea. She suddenly felt the urge to take it but the feeling quickly passed and she was left terrified. Instead she turned the test over in her hands, reading the instructions over and over in an attempt to distract herself.

“I read that ginger tea is supposed to help with nausea.” Link’s voice brought her back to reality and she looked to find him leaning on the doorway. “Meredith told me that you were feeling sick at breakfast.” Amelia raised her eyebrows. “I called her while I was at the drugstore. I didn’t know which test to buy,” he confessed. “I felt like she would know.” Amelia nodded, staring at the test in her hands. With the both of them being doctors she’d never felt more clueless.

“I didn’t get morning sickness last time.” Link raised an eyebrow, allowing her the space to elaborate but she didn't. They’d talked about Christopher once before but he’d still been left with questions.

“Do you even want kids?” The words left his mouth before he could stop them. “Do you want kids with me?”

“Yes,” she felt herself say immediately. They stared at each other for a while before she continued. “I was thinking more like adoption but here we are.” Tears burned at her eyes and Link closed the space between them immediately, wrapping his arms around her trembling body. They stood like that for a while until Amelia had straightened up and wiped her tears away, numbly making it towards the bathroom. Both tests confirmed their suspicion. To her surprise Link burst into happy tears, confessing how much he’d wanted this but had never wanted to push her and before she knew it they were both laughing and crying in each other's arms.

“Are we having a baby?” Meredith set her keys on the table as she pulled off her coat. Amelia was fast asleep on Link’s chest, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of a day.

“We’re having a baby.” Link’s beaming grin was illuminated by the tv and Meredith shook her head in amusement at the excitement he showed despite it being long past midnight.

sorry all I write is amelink pregnancy fics cause it makes me happy lol

[forever-more-never-again]

Light and Dark (Part One)

Word Count: 2879

Pairings: Zuko X Avatar!Reader, Aang X Avatar!Reader, Platonic!Katara X Reader, Platonic!Sokka X Reader, Platonic!Toph X Reader

Warnings: None

A/n: So, I really love Avatar the Last Airbender and had this thought and well...I’ve started another Series that will have irregular updates! Heheheh....

Matsterlist

The smoky skies of the Fire Nation filled your lungs as you drew a deep breath. In all your years, you never thought you would end up back here. 

Your homeland.

Taking another deep breath, you fixed the scarf that covered your face and began walking through the marketplace on the outskirts of the Fire Nation. 

The palace loomed over you like a dangerous shadow. A reminder of why you escaped all those years ago.

“Princess Azula!” The hushed urgent whispers reached your ears and you flinched.

Stepping into a tea shop, you turn your face away so that anyone walking outside wouldn’t see it.

“Well, Hello there. Could I interest you in some Jasmine Tea? Good for soothing nerves and calming the mind.”

Your attention was diverted from the danger lurking outside to the stout middle aged man standing before you with a welcoming smile.

You couldn’t help but return the smile, as your felt your muscles relax from their constant tension, “Yes...I think, I think I would like a cup.”

You let yourself be led to a small table in the corner, you couldn’t help but smirk as you realized the man had put you in a table where you had easy access to the back door, and a wide view of the entire store and front door. 

“I’ll have my nephew come right out with a pot of tea for you-”

The man’s relaxed nature and easy going smile made it easy for you to reply with no hesitation.

“[Y-].” You stopped and cleared your throat, giving a fake first name, “Chen Ikem.”

A flash of confusion and then understanding flew through the man’s brown eyes. And you couldn’t help but grow slightly worried. You should have also used a fake last name.

After all...Ikem was the last name of the late Fire Nation Queen. It wasn’t a very common last name. And if anyone caught a look at your face and put it together with the wanted posters that were from years ago, you would be dead before you could ask for mercy.

Heaving a heavy sigh, you sunk into your chair, eyes vigilant as they scanned the small tea shop. There were only a few patrons. Mainly older generation fire nation males. You could easily take them if worse came to worse.

“Your tea.”

The brusque voice broke you out of your analyzing. Gaze going up, only to freeze in fear as you saw a young man with an eyepatch, a single gold eye staring down at the teapot he held morosely, his black hair slicked back. 

You knew who it was. Even with the scar covered. This changed everything.

“I...I have to go!” You jerked out of your seat, startling Prince Zuko into dropping the teapot.

The shattering of porcelain caught everyone's attention. The elderly man, who you now realized was General Iroh-

Oh my god you couldn’t be caught by General Iroh and the banished Prince!

-came out from the backroom with a frown, and a shimmer of tears in his eyes, “What a waste of perfectly good tea.”

Zuko, however was staring at you as you jumped over the table, the scarf around your face falling down to the floor, soaking up the tea.

“[Y/n]?”

The small voice. Reminiscent of a younger prince, who still had hope and love, made you pause for a split second, your eyes catching his.

A pained smile flashed across your face before you vanished out the back door. Escaping into the crowd.

Distantly, you heard his footsteps run behind you, his voice louder, “Wait!”

But you knew how to disappear, and with a scarf snatched from a stand and bumping into a group of young women, and you were gone.

Faintly you heard his curses. But they soon faded as you walked with the group of young women further into the Fire Nation.

A memory flashed in your head as you walked. Remembering when you had been a simple servant girl in the Fire Nation Palace. Playing with the Prince. Laughing together. Kissing his bruised knuckles when he got in fights. The innocence of children long gone now.

Every since you discovered that you were not just a fire bender. 

You were the Avatar. 

Which carried a death sentence.

Shaking off the memory and the sadness it carried. You slipped away from the group and began walking by yourself.

You had come to the Fire Nation for a reason. Breaking your promise to never return. For one reason and one reason only.

A family in the Earth Kingdom had told you about their daughter, who was blind, running away with a group of unusual people. One of who, they claimed, was the Avatar.

And that caught your interest. According to history and lore, there was only ever one Avatar per cycle. Because the spirit of Raava was a single entity, unable to be duplicated. 

So why were you, a Fire Bender by birth, able to water bend and earth bend? 

It made no sense, especially considering the last Avatar had been a firebender. The cycle dictated that another Firebender wouldn’t be the avatar until after three avatar cycles. 

The confusion hasn't stopped you from learning other bendings though. After escaping the Palace and traveling the world, you had picked up Water bending from an old warrier in the Earth Kingdom, and learned Earth bending from a wacky traveling group of merchant’s.

“My cabbages!”

A strangled cry caught your attention, along with the sight that was with it.

Four young teenagers stood around an overturned stall of cabbages. The vendor yelling at them to pay for damages.

Sneaking closer, your eyes widened as you saw the white eyes of the short woman. Blind.

Looking at the others, you noticed the blue eyes of one of the males and females. Not Fire Nation.

And the smallest male...could he be the airbender that everyone was saying was the Avatar?

As the four took off running away from the vendor, you decided to follow them. Sticking to shadows and alleyways, you keep them in your sight.

They left the inner city and began walking towards the rocky caverns of the mountain side. But before you could see what they were doing out there, you found your feet encased in stone.

“Why are you following us!?” The blind girl shouted, suddenly appearing right in front of you.

The two blue eyed teens took up fighting stances. And the small male looked at you in disguised fear.

You quickly held up your hands, “Woah! Hey, I mean no harm.”

The tall male snorted, “That’s what they all say! You’re Fire Nation!”

Your shoulders tensed before relaxing, your gaze dropped to the ground in shame, “Yes. Though I wish I was not. And according to the palace, I am merely a traitor.”

The small male stepped forward, ignoring the warning looks of his companions. You caught his eyes with yours.

“What do you mean?”

You breathed out through your nose heavily, before dropping your hands. And the stone encasing your feet disappeared back into the ground.

“Toph! Don’t release the prisoner!”

The blind girl blinked, confused, “I didn’t.”

Your snort laugh caught their attention again, “That’s what I meant. I think...no, I know...I’m the Avatar.”

A pause. Silence. And then an uproar.

“What!?” “That’s bullshi-”

“How!?”

Before the girl stepped forward, brandishing water in her hands. A waterbender.

“You’re lying. A Firebender can’t be the Avatar. And I know for a fact who the true avatar is.”

Quickly growing tired of this, you drew the water that she held with her bending to you, wrapping it around you.

Her eyes widened in fear.

“I’ve never heard of this from the Monks. It shouldn’t be possible.”

The small male stepped forward, eyes wide in awe and confusion.

Deciding it was past time for introductions, you dropped the water and held out a hand, “My name is [Y/n] Ikem. I left the Fire Nation years ago after discovering I could Earth Bend alongside my Main Firebending abilities. I lived in the Palace as a servant and know the inner workings of it like the back of my hand. I heard about a blind girl traveling with the possible avatar and that information led me to you.”

The blind girl started before she muttered, “My parents.” And scoffing in irritation.

Sokka pulled a boomerang out from behind him, welding it dangerously at you, “You’re working for Zuko! I knew it!”

Your eyes widened and you flung your hands wildly in front of you, “No! No! I promise! I’m actually hiding from him and Princess Azula! They have a bounty on my head.”

The short kid nodded, looking off in the distance for a moment before turning to you and smiling.

“I’m Aang. I’m the airbender Avatar.”

The female beside him gasped, “Aang! You can’t just give this person that sort of information! How can we trust them!? Sokka could be right, they could be working for Prince Zuko!”

The other male stepped forward, eyeing you suspiciously, “Yeah. How do we know they aren’t trying to play mind games with their-their mind!”

Aang looked at his group, “My gut is telling me that they speak the truth. And you guys know I need a Fire Bender teacher. They could be it.”

Aang grinned sheepishly at you, “This is Katara and Sokka, from the Southern Water Tribe, and this is Toph, from the Earth Kingdom.”

You bowed low, hands clasped in front of you, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Aang laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head, “So...uh...you can bend other elements.”

You smiled wryly, “Yes.”

Aang sighed, looking at Katara with a plea in his eyes. Whatever silent communication they did, seemed to work as Katara sighed loudly and waved her hand towards the cave they had been heading towards.

“Alright [Y/n], you can come with us. But one step out of place and-”

You laughed, “I know, I know. One step out of place and you end me. I get it.”

Walking in the giant cave, a loud rumble drew your attention to the back end.

You gasped, “Is that a Sky Bison!? I thought they were all extinct!?”

Sokka scoffed behind you, muttering maliciously, “Yeah thanks to the Fire Nation.”

Deciding to ignore him for now, you ran towards the giant white beast with stars in your eyes as you stared into his intelligent brown eyes.

“That’s Appa,” You squealed in surprise as a small flying monkey creature landed on your shoulder causing Aang to laugh as he stepped up next to you, “And that is Momo.”

You chuckled, scratching Momo under his chin, “Well hello Momo.” You turned back to Appa and bowed your head, “And Appa.”

Katara’s voice was loud and icy as she exclaimed, “So...Are we going to figure out what is going on? Why there are two Avatars at one time?”

You and Aang shared a look, both of you were in new territory.

Sighing you walked to where some stones were upraised to be used as seats. Toph already relaxed in one, Sokka and Katara on edge, glaring at you.

Aang tilted his head, “Have you managed to travel into the spirit world?”

You shake your head, “I’ve tried, but I seemed to be blocked. I once entered the Avatar state when I was attacked by some Fire Nation Patrols, but I haven’t done it again since.”

Aang sits down on the ground, legs crossed over each other, hands relaxed on his knees in a lotus pose, he looked at you expectantly.

Curious, you copied his movements, sitting right across from him.

He grinned at you, “Okay. So just...open your mind. Don’t think. Just...be. Allow you spirit to float freely from your physical body. Hopefully the Spirit World can give us some answers about what is happening.”

You nodded and closed your eyes.

Clearing your mind took a few minutes, but then you did it.

You felt a tug, and then weightlessness. Opening your eyes cautiously, you gasped.

You were floating above your body.

Looking over, you saw Aang’s spirit was watching you with a childish grin.

“Freaky, right?”

Noticing the lack of reaction from everyone else, who were watching your bodies closely, Aang elaborated, “They can’t see or hear us.”

Reaching out, he took your hand, “Come on. Let’s see if the previous Avatar’s have some insight.”

And in a rush of wind, you were flying. Images blurred as you fly at speeds you thought impossible.

And when you stopped abruptly, you noticed where Aang had brought you. The Avatar temple in the Air Nomad Nation.

Statues of every Avatar past, stared down at you with stone eyes.

Aang walked up to the latest one, Avatar Roku.

You silently watched in awe as a blue glow illuminated the statue, and then a copy of the statue stepped out. The spirit of Avatar Roku.

He smiled down at Aang gently, “What is it this time young Avatar Aang?”

Aang looked back at you and waved you forward.

Cautiously, you stood next to Aang.

Avatar Roku looked at you in shock and horror, “No. This can’t be possible. It shouldn’t be possible.”

Drawing a breath of courage, you looked at Avatar Roku, “What do you mean? Why are there two Avatars this cycle? Why has a firebender gained the Avatar abilities so soon after the last Fire Nation Avatar?”

Avatar Roku glanced between you and Aang, silent for a long moment, the horror in his eyes never fading, “It’s a sign. A sign of change. Of unbalance. Vaatu is within you, young [Y/n]. As Raava is within young Aang here.”

Aang thankfully shared the same confused look as you, which you found comforting.

Avatar Roku sighed, and waved you both forward. You stepped forward and simultaneously also back in time.

You watched in awe, alongside Aang, as you witness the birth of the first Avatar. Wan. And the connection of the Avatars with the Spirit of light. And also, the subsequent imprisonment of the Spirit of Darkness.

Stepping back into the Air Temple, you rubbed your forehead in anger and confusion, “What does that mean? That I’m inhabited by an evil spirit allowing me to bend multiple elements?”

Avatar Roku softened his gaze and rested a hand on your shoulder, “Not so, young one. Vaatu is simply one side of the same coin. He and Raava had lived together for far longer than humans have. They are light and dark, peace and chaos. One cannot survive without the other. What concerns me, is how Vaatu was freed. He was locked in the tree of time, it should be impossible.”

While Roku was muttering about that, you noticed Aang looking deep in thought.

Turning to him, you smiled gently, “Hey. I’m sorry about all of this. I didn’t...I-”

Aang turned to you, but the voice that spoke was not his, it was femine and held immense power. Avatar Roku took a step back, his posture straightening as he bowed low.

“Do not worry young [Y/n]. My brother managed to trick a young spirit into freeing him. Had I known, I would have stopped it, but sadly Aang here was unable to communicate with me.”

Avatar Roku stood up with a smile, “It’s been a while Raava.”

Aang’s face lit up and a musical laugh escaped, “Roku.”

You hesitantly took a step forward, stopping in fear as Aang’s head whipped around and seemed to stare you down.

Biting your lip, you asked, “So what does this mean for the mortal realm? For...for me?”

The spirit, Ravva sighed gently, almost motherly, which made your eyes tear up.

“Avatar [Y/n]. You and Avatar Aang will be two sides of the same coin. You will balance each other out. But it’s up to you on how to keep Vaatu in check. There cannot be light with dark, just as there cannot be dark without light.”

A jolt and you felt yourself fall into a void.

“Wait!”

“Hush Child. I must speak with my sister.” A cold, menacing voice echoed around you.

Shivering, you were hesitant to speak, “Vaatu?”

A deep sigh, “Yes child. I will explain, momentarily. Your physical body is soon to be in danger, and I wish to talk to Raavu before we are back. So be quiet!”

The roar shook you. And you quickly nodded, unknowing if the spirit could see it in the inky darkness that surrounds you.

In the silence and darkness you took a moment to go over what has happened in just a few short hours.

You had returned to the Fire Nation. You had been seen by General Iroh and Prince Zuko, both who were exiled and banished from the Royal Family. 

You remembered the past. And based on the fluttering of your heart, you also remembered the feelings you harbored for the prince.

You had found the Avatar and his group, and subsequently found out that you were also an Avatar, but one that was powered by the Spirit of darkness and Chaos instead of Light and Peace. 

Things just got a lot more complicated.

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[the-voltage-diaries]

Guns N’ Roses - Taki Kozaki (BirTAKIDAY Countdown: Day 5)

Early update today! Truth be told, I have no idea how this turned out, so I’m publishing it now instead of keeping it in drafts any longer bc then i’d shoot myself over the self scrutiny. So, if I pray to the gods that its good, and I hope you like it.

What if instead of the MC, Taki was the one who got shot?

Minor spoilers for Taki’s Season 4 Part 2. Like very minor lol. The creator chose not to give any warnings. Have fun. ;)

A gunshot. That’s all I heard.

That’s the only sound that flowed into my ears while my arms mustered all their strength to push (Y/N) away from me, and into Yosuke’s safe embrace.

I think she screamed my name, but my mind probably didn’t register it as everything lulled around me. It was as if the world came to a slow stop when I felt the bullet rip through me. That was possibly the first time in a long time when I crumbled. Not emotionally, but physically. Right onto the ground in a heap of powerless limbs. What a bloodied sight to behold.

‘When was the last time I felt so lifeless?’ I thought, gasping for air. ‘Was it when my dad left me? Or was it when I got beaten up for not paying the debt on time?’ A lazy smile made its way to my face as broken flashbacks presented themselves to me. It had been a similar situation then, with me being a mass of broken bones, pulsating bruises and blood trickling out of me, just like my life.

How had I even survived?

I didn’t know. And maybe my mind didn’t want to think any further on those lines either, for the next thing I knew, I felt myself giving in to the vortex of black calling out to me, almost sensually. I sensed its fingers reach out to me, caressing me with a certain ease before it opened its arms to welcome me in its soothing, lifeless embrace.

Just as I felt myself extend an arm towards it, I heard someone calling me. No, I heard her calling me.

I tried to ignore it, I tried to ignore her, but the voice just kept getting louder and louder. It was as if it was trying to tell me that I couldn’t leave... not like this. I couldn’t leave it all without ending things the right way. The moment that epiphany came to me, my chest heaved as a burst of life was pumped back into me.

I somehow opened my eyes, clenching my wrists against the immediate pain, and blinked the haze out of them. I looked up, on the verge of losing consciousness again, only to see (Y/N) in front of me, clutching my hands tight in hers.

‘You’re too good for me,’ I thought, and I chuckled, ignoring the stabs of discomfort shoot through me. I gazed into her eyes, wet with desperation, begging me to fight, pleading me to do everything in my power to just, somehow, anyhow, just... stay.

“Ta...Taki, no, don’t- don’t do this, please,” she whispered, trembling. (Y/N) intertwined our fingers and bit her lip, staring back at me with a longing like no other. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay? We can make it through this, I know we can, okay? We will make it through this,” she breathed, looking away, “Just... please, please don’t close your eyes...”

“(Y/N),” I finally uttered, pushing against the dryness coating the insides of my mouth. "(Y/N), look at me, love,” I whispered again, somehow lifting my fingers to her face, tilting it so that our eyes would meet once again.

“T-Taki- no, no no, please, no,” she murmured in one quick breath, as if sensing what was about to happen.

“I love you,” I breathed, smiling as I finally felt my life slip away from my loose fingers.

And with that, I slipped into a senseless, timeless dark world, feeling it consume me from the inside out.

Things escalated quickly after that. It was like the time that had slowed down to a stop finally sped up into a run, sprinting through my fading consciousness. 

Yosuke called an ambulance, even though he knew it was too late, and I was rushed to the hospital where Shun and Kiyohito sat, awaiting any update Yosuke had for them. It didn’t take long for the doctor to leave my side and walk out of the room to let them know that there was no use praying, or hoping, or... wanting. 

What was done, was done.

I was with them no more.

Kiyohito, for the first time in ages, looked downright terrified as he curled into Shun’s side, whose tense shoulders did nothing to hide the anxiety he felt either, but he tried to distract himself by rubbing comforting circles on Kiyo’s shoulder as the latter’s eyes welled up with tears, refusing to believe the news. 

I feel a crack echoing in my already shattered heart when I recall how pale (Y/N) looked when she crumbled to the ground, silent as a graveyard.  Yosuke stood right beside her, clenching his fists to numb the pain even as a silent tear dripped down his cheek.

It happened only a week ago, but I remember everything so vividly that I still have a hard time believing if it’s really just memories or an actual movie playing at the front of my mind, every single day.

Sometimes, I still wonder if pushing her away was the right thing to do.

At the time, it seemed like it was. Pushing (Y/N) away meant saving her life, and that was all that mattered.

But now, as I watch her bite her trembling lip, quivering in her black dress while looking at the photo of me in a navy blue frame, I feel a twinge of regret. I look down at Sydney sitting beside her leg, curled up at her side, staring into my soul through the picture, and I feel a pinch of guilt for leaving this life and the two most important woman in them behind.

If anyone asked me why I’m here, I wouldn’t know how to answer them.

After all, what does one do at their own funeral?

‘I want to spend more time with you,’ I think, scoffing at myself for only realising that now, of all times. If only I looked her in the eye and not Ashiba when I felt the bullet pierce me, maybe I would have done things differently. Maybe I would have fought harder, longer. Maybe... maybe I would have saved us both.

But there never is any use crying over spilled milk, now is there?

I sigh, taking in another deep breath as I watch Yosuke walk over to the low podium, a wet handkerchief held tight between his fingers. He steps in front of the mic, and that’s when I catch a sight of his red eyes. This fool, still trying so hard to cover up how he’s feeling.

“Taki was...” he begins, before his trembling lips stop and he looks up, sniffing. “No, Taki is a...” a quiet sob pauses him, “... great friend. He has been, for the last ten years I’ve known him. Always so straightforward, always so blunt. He was so stuck up, I sometimes thought he had a stick shoved up his ass, you know?”

He laughs, but he fools nobody. His attempt at humor only backfires as his shoulders shake, and he finally lets his tears fall down. He sniffles again, trying to gather himself up, but a part of him gives up, and he just allows the world to see his cheeks, wet with tears, too tired to bother wiping them.

“But, I think that’s what I loved the most about him. His honesty. His strength. In all the years I had the honour to call myself his friend, he never once faltered. He was always so... driven. We didn’t meet under the best of circumstances, but I think life, for me at least, became a much better journey with him in it. I felt like I finally made a friend. We never explicitly stated it, but we both knew we had each other to fall back on, should we ever needed. That is... until that day one week ago. I-I’m sorry Taki, I-” he trembles,”I’m sorry I wasn’t there in time. I’m sorry I didn’t have your back when you needed it the most.” 

He takes a moment to dab at his eyes with his kerchief before clearing his throat.

“I never admitted to it, but I loved the man despite all our arguments, our disagreements, our fights, our everything. I know, he loved me too. And I know, he is no longer around for me to pull his leg, or tease him,” Yosuke takes a quick breath, and when he starts speaking again, his voice is nothing above a whisper, “but I know he’ll be right here,” he touches his heart, “no matter what. I couldn’t be more grateful to have made a friend like you, Taki. God knows I’ll miss you and our banter, but... I hope you’re in a better place now. You lived a very, very good life. But I wish you’d stuck around longer, mate.”

Yosuke looks back at my picture near the coffin, and I feel my heart clench at the forlorn look he gives me. 

“I’ll miss you, Tacks,” he whispers again, and I know he means it with everything he’s got. “Love you.”

I feel something wet splash against the back of my hand, and it’s then that I realise that Yosuke isn’t the only one tearing up.

This asshole. Who asked this brat to get all emotional? It wasn’t like him at all. And look what he did to me with his mindless mumbo-jumbo.

‘I’ll miss you too, Yosuke.’

One by one, each of the guys and (Y/N) say their pieces, and to my surprise, they all tear up once they look at the blue coffin inside which I lay. Heh, who knew I’d be so loved, after all?

Forget people crying for me, if ten years ago someone told me I’d even have the fortune of having someone attend my funeral, I’d laugh in their face. It’s funny how things change with time.

Before long, the proceedings are done, and it’s finally time to lay my lifeless body to rest. But just as my coffin is rested on the cool, welcoming earth, I catch (Y/N) leading a depressed Sydney to the pit. She takes the bouquet out of her mouth and places it over the wooden lid of the casket.

I gasp and feel a fresh wave of moisture greet the back of my eyes when I see what they are.

Roses. Nine of them.

‘Eternal love.’ I recall the meaning of this particular set of roses, and once again, I can’t help but be grateful to have such a friend like her. ‘Thank you.’

It’s when my wooden little residence is covered with soil and my tombstone is placed over it that I read the words chosen for me by them. Yosuke. Kiyohito, Shun, (Y/N) and Sydney. My family. A family that I’m leaving behind.

‘His true wealth was in his generous heart. And what an enormous wealth he had.’

And it’s with those lines, I finally feel myself vanish into thin air with a smile on my face. For ever.

[australiancarisi]

Sonny Carisi ~Stay

A boring night on shift at the hospital changes when your boyfriend shows up  Words: 1992 I’m not a nurse I know nothing besides 15 seasons of greys anatomy so please don’t come at me A part of my Sonny universe 

It was a relatively quiet night in the Mercy Hospital ER. Just your usual drunks falling down, some parents overreacting after their kids hurt themselves, the odd accident here or there but for the most part your shift was going easy. And you weren’t complaining. 

You sat at the nurse’s desk sipping on your Redbull, scrolling through the patient database putting in all the notes the doctors and other nurses had written over the past few hours. 

“Next time a kid comes in here with a lego man’s head stuck in a hole of their body I’m not dealing with it” Nina huffed throwing a plastic bag with the toy in it “That’s the 8th of this week! stop giving stupid kids lego” 

“What did you expect when you became a nurse?” you asked, looking down to your phone. 

“Prince Charming not texted you in 10 minutes?” Nina gave you a smug look. You and Sonny had been dating for 8 months and it honestly has been amazing since day one. All your other relationships failed when they realised how hectic your schedule, most guys couldn’t work with the shift work. But Sonny got it. He was busier than you, it was rare that he wasn’t working whether actually on the clock or at home but he tried to make as much time as possible for you. He texts you constantly throughout the day and comes over to your apartment or to the hospital to drop off food for you. Because he knows that your diet would otherwise consist of Redbull and skittles from the vending machine. A part of you feels guilty when you see him walk through the ER doors when on shift because it obviously meant someone was hurt, but you got to see your boyfriend. 

“It’s actually been a while since I’ve heard from him” you sighed, the two other ER nurses on for the night, Tia and Mel walked up to the desk handed their notes over and putting on new gloves.

“Ambulance 3 minutes out, Police officer, gunshot wound, not sure how bad, there wasn’t much info” Tia said “Been told to take him straight to the surgery 2, it's being set up now”

“I’m sure he’s fine” Nina reassured you, your phone began to buzz and Sonny’s name flashed on the screen “see” 

“Hey gorgeous” you smiled into the phone, you really needed to hear his voice right now. 

“y/n” your blood ran cold as you heard Sonny’s lieutenant, Olivia Benson voice, not Sonny’s, came through the phone with sirens in the background. “Y/n you there?” 

“Please don’t tell me” you stood up, Nina was now by your side

“We’re 2 minutes out from Mercy, Amanda is with him” Olivia didn’t have to tell you the officer shot was Sonny, you knew. You ran towards the doors, you could hear the sirens. Liv and Fin’s car showed up in the ambulance bay first, the ambulance following closely behind. 

“two gunshot wounds to the upper left chest” the paramedic yelled as they got Sonny out, Amanda jumped out as well. 

“Sonny!” You screamed running towards him. Fin grabbed you pulling you out of the way so Nina, Tia and Mel could work on him. “Let me go! Fin! Fin! Let me go!” You managed to get out of Fin’s grip as they raced Sonny to the operating room. You ran closely behind, no longer listening to what anyone was saying, you just wanted to see Sonny, you needed to be with him. They pushed Sonny through the doors to the operating room, Nina turned around a pushed you away.  

“y/n don’t you know you can’t go in there” She said 

“I need to be in there! I need to help him!” you cried trying with all your might to get past her. 

“And that’s what we are going to do but we can’t give him our full attention if we are worrying about you, please” she begged, you stopped fighting long enough for her to close the door behind herself. You turned around and to see the squad there. 

Liv, Mike, Fin, Amanda.....

Amanda. 

She was covered in blood.

Sonny’s blood

Tears welled in your and streamed down your cheeks. Your back hit the door behind you as you fell in the ground. Sonny was behind that wall, bleeding, have god knows what happening and you couldn’t help him. You wanted to take care of him, you had to take care of him, that was your job. He looks after everyone so you made it your job to look after him. Liv slowly and quietly made her way over to you and helped you to your feet. As you stood she instinctively wrapped her arms around you. You were so thankful for her right in this moment. 

“Here” Mike hummed handing you a bottle of water, breaking your trance. It had been 3 hours since Sonny came in (2 hours since Nina had come out to give you an update) and you just felt empty. Barba had since shown up and Amanda had been given scrubs to change into. 

“Please just tell me” you pleaded, not to anyone in general but everyone shared looks. Every time you had asked them to tell you they always changed the subject “I need to know” 

“It doesn’t matter y/n-” 

“Yes it does” you cut Fin off, before turning to Olivia “Please tell me” 

“We have a DV vic, Sonny is the lead on the case, he gave her his card in case something happened” Mike started 

“She called said her husband had shown up at her house Sonny and Amanda went over and he was holding her hostage with a gun... Sonny tried to talk him down... he went for the gun and the guy shot him” Liv finished. They all looked at you, waiting for your reaction. 

“...is she safe? The victim?” You looked to Amanda 

“Uh, yeah yeah, she is. When the husband... when he shot Sonny he went into shock. I went to Sonny and she grabbed the gun and held him up until everyone else got there” Amanda said

“Okay good” you sighed in relief. Some good new “He has to pull through now, he has to know she’s okay” 

It was another hour until Nina finally came back out to you. As soon as you saw her you jumped to your feet and ran to your friend. You wrapped your arms around her and she squeezed you back. 

“Please please tell me he’s okay” you begged over and over again 

“He’s okay, he’s okay” she said and you heard everyone let out an audible sigh of relief. Nina let you go so she could talk to everyone but mainly you. “I’m not gonna lie he was touch and go for a while. He had 3 gunshot wounds. One was straight through his upper right arm, easy fix. One into his right shoulder which broke his clavicle but it was a clean break, it's been reset and he’s obviously going to need rehab” 

“Okay, and the third one?” you knew she was keeping something from you. She took in a deep breath “Nina please” 

“The third hit his aorta... it obviously caused us the most problem, he lost a lot of blood...like a lot. I’m gonna say this because it’s you, I didn’t think he was gonna make it... I was preparing to come out here and tell you he didn’t make it” 

“But he’s okay” Liv quickly jumped in 

“Yes” Nina nodded “the cardiologist repaired his aorta and his heart was pumping steadily, they’ve moved him to ICU while they get a room for him”

“Can we see him?” Amanda asked 

“You can all see him” Nina put an emphasis on the ‘all’ and looked at you “when he moves from ICU to the ward. It shouldn’t be too much longer” 

“But-” you started 

“No” Nina cut you off 

“But-” 

“No” 

“What if I-” 

“No and I’ve told ICU that you are not to step foot in there” 

“Nina!” 

“It's the rules! You know that no one is allowed in there after hours” Nina reminded you. “I’ll come get you when he’s been moved” 

It was about another hour before Nina came to get you to tell you he was in. For the first time ever you were glad you knew this hospital like the back of your hand. When you neared his room you slowed down when you heard his voice. That sweet Staten island accent that was like music to your ears. You could tell he was drowsy but that was too expected. 

“... I’m not just a cop I’m a detective” he said to Mel as you walked to the door. He was propped up on an angle, hooked up to an IV and heart monitor with his right arm in a sling.  His eyes fell on you and his eyes went wide “Heeeeeey babbbbbbbe” 

“Hey yourself” you giggled. All your stress and anxiety went away as soon as you saw him. It finally sunk in that he was okay. 

“hey hey” he poked Mel “this is my girlfriend she’s a nurse too. She’s the best nurse ever... no offence” Mell burst out laughing 

“She knows Sonny” you laughed 

“She does?! How?!” He exclaimed 

“We work together Sonny, you’re at y/n’s hospital” Mel shook her head as she kept writing notes 

“This is your hospital babe!? Why didn’t you tell me you own a hospital?!” he turned back to you. his eyes wide 

“I don’t own the hospital gorgeous, I work here remember” you walked around his bed to his side

“Ohhhhh, yes babe you’re right” 

“I’ll be back in an hour to check on him” Mel smiled at you. You thanked her as she left the two of you alone. “What’s all this babe business by the way? You never call me babe” 

“No I call you doll” he nodded, very seriously “you are my doll... Doll?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m sorry for worrying you” 

“It’s okay-” 

“No it’s not” he cut you off. He was very firm “I almost left you and I never wanna leave you. I heard you cry when I went in” he was concussion when he came in? You didn’t realise, now you felt bad that the last thing he heard before going under was you crying “Don’t. Don’t feel bad” 

“Do you remember when we first met?” You asked changing the subject 

“It was here, in the ER” he nodded 

“You were here to talk to a patient, she was really fragile and when you and Amanda came in, you demanded to see her and I thought who is this guy coming in here and throwing his weight around. And the patient was so scared and I was afraid you were going to hurt her” you told him “and then when you went in there you were so soft and gentle with her and I knew, I just knew you were a good one” 

“I’d seen you around the hospital a couple of times before that” Sonny confessed “Amanda used to make fun of me cause I was so hung up on you and then the moment I actually got to talk to you I was so nervous I could barely talk to you” 

“The other nurses used to keep track of you every time they came in cause they knew I liked you” 

“Liv would send me cause she knew I liked you” Sonny closed his eyes as you ran your fingers through his hair “I love you y/n” 

“I love you too Dominick” he blushed as you used his real name “get some sleep gorgeous, you need it” 

“You’re gonna stay right?” he mumbled, sleep was quickly taking over him 

“Of course I’ll stay, I’m always gonna be by your side” you whispered leaning over to his him as he drifted off. 

[cloudykaii]

Matter

pairing: jung hoseok x sister!reader [PLATONIC]

summary:  Hello, can I request a brother!hoseok imagine where like once bts rly took off he starts ignoring his little sister (reader) and the other boys gradually do as well so she tries to contact them and they hint that she’s annoying and they don’t want to see her... (if ur comfortable), reader going through depression and maybe self harming I know it’s hard but maybe fluffy ending ? Sorry this request is so loaded LOL

warnings: mentions of regrets, cursing, overuse of commas, neglect, bad brothers

The worst part of it all, is that at first you thought he would never do something like that. Not Hoseok, your older brother and you looked up to your entire life. You just didn’t think he had it in him. After he watched over you,and protected you for years growing up. you never actually thought that your brother and best friend would be the one to do something like this. 

Your friends saw it coming, which somehow made it worse. Every time you’d call him only to get his voicemail, or your texts would get left on read for weeks, and when he finally did answer, he’d give you generic replies. Every time your friends would say he forgot about you, but you would defend him saying he was busy, and even if he wasn’t the boys were like a family to him, so he was probably just relaxing with them. You defended him every time. 

But now you were wondering if it was ever worth it. Your friends had tried to tell you to stop trying to get in touch with you brother, because it only ever ended up with you being sad and him having the time of his life across the globe. You didn’t contact him this time, though. You thought he had called you. When the phone rang, and Hoseok’s name flashed across the screen, you answered immediately. “Hobi, you finally-”

But the sounds you got in return were less than desired. 

“Why do you look so upset? Y/N’s not calling you again, is she?”

You weren’t able to recognize who the muffled voice belonged to, but you heard the words enough. Did you really bother him that much? You heard chuckles on the other end of the line. 

“No, I told her last night I didn’t have time to talk to her. She didn’t need to know that it was because she gets on my nerves.”

You heard more laughs, bringing tears to your eyes. All you had wanted to do was talk to your brother. It wasn’t like you had unrealistic expectations. Did you? Were you really in the wrong for wanting to have a conversation with your brother?

“Well, that’s for sure. It’s like every time you sit down, her name is on the screen. Doesn’t she know when to stop?”

Your friend gently took the phone from your hand, which was good because you didn’t think you would be able to hear any more. “You’re a fucking asshole, Jung Hoseok,” you heard her hiss into the phone just before hanging up. She tossed the phone onto your bed, and looked at you with sympathy. 

“Oh, honey,” she pulled you into her arms, sitting on your bed beside you so she could comfort you. “He’s an asshole.”

“He’s supposed to be my older brother,” you whispered. “I just wanted to talk to him. He used to be there for everything, like I’m there for him. Why is it that now that he’s famous, he’s a whole new person?”

Your friend winced. She had a decently healthy relationship with her family; she had no idea what she should do. “I don’t know, Y/N,” she tried to soothe you as you started crying.

Your brother on the other hand, found himself waking up to sharp knocking on his door. “I’m coming,” he called sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he crawled out from under the blankets and made his way to his front door. “Dawon? What are you doing here?”

His older sister stormed past him inside his apartment, and turned to face him with the harshest glare he’d ever seen. “What is the matter with you? Genuinely, what the hell is wrong with you?”

He frowned. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Dawon crossed her arms. “Knowing that you made your baby sister think she wasn’t good enough doesn’t affect you at all? You’re fine knowing what you did?”

Hoseok frowned. “What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything to Y/N.”

The laugh that left her was sarcastic. “You are honestly such an asshole. You ignored her for weeks, and then you had the nerve to call her annoying?! I went to go check on her this morning because I hadn’t heard from her in a couple days, and she’s been so stressed out with college, I was worried she hadn’t been eating again. I bet you didn’t even know that happened the first time, did you? Probably not, since Y/N didn’t even know you were in the country. Guess what I found when I got there? I was greeted by her roommate telling me Y/N had cried herself to sleep because you accidentally called her and she had to hear exactly what you think of her.”

His eyes widened. “No, wait, it’s not what it-”

His sister glowered at him. “She has been defending you this entire time. You will talk to me, or anyone else, but Y/N, and she hasn’t said a bad thing about you, yet. She looked up to you for years, and for some reason she still does. She thinks she’s a bad sister, and blocked you so that she couldn’t be a distraction to you, anymore. I have never seen my sister like this,” her voice broke, and Hoseok felt like the worst person in the world. “Fix this,” she pointed at him. “Fix this before we lose our sister.”

And then she left, slamming his door, and leaving her brother to stare at the ground and wonder just what the hell he had done. He didn’t know you had been overwhelmed by college. Had it really been that long since he had had an actual conversation with you? God, he fucked up. 

He had no idea how he was supposed to fix this, but he still found himself knocking on your door, and hoping he had the right place. He didn’t even know where you lived...

You opened the door, frowning, but you gasped when you saw him standing there. You grabbed his forearm and yanked him inside. “What are you doing here? You guys just released statements about fans following you and you show up at a college unannounced? What is the matter with you?”

Somehow, those words hurt more when they came from a place of caring within you. He grimaced as he shut the door. “Y/N, we need to talk.”

You chewed your lower lip. “If this is about what I heard the other day, don’t worry about it. i get it. You were probably stressed or something.”

You still managed to defend him, and the smile on your face broke his heart. “I wasn’t exactly busy..”

You brushed it off. “It’s cool. I shouldn’t be trying to talk to you so often. That’s got to be distracting. Don’t worry about it, I understand.”

Your brother ran a hand through his hair. “No, Y/N, that’s not it! I’m not too busy to talk to you, I’m just an asshole!”

“You’re not-”

“But I am,” he finally exploded. “I’m the worst brother in the world, and you’re easily the best sister, and I don’t deserve to have you as mine. I didn’t even know where you lived! I didn’t know that you got accepted to college! I promised that nothing would change, and I would always be there for you, even when we got big, and I didn’t keep that promise and I’m sorry.”

You weren’t quite sure what to say as you wiped your face. When did you even start crying? “Hoseok, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

“This time,” he muttered, still looking right at you, “But there won’t be a next time. I don’t know how many times you called me because you needed your brother, but I’ll be here now,” he said, nodding his head as if it helped make his statement final. 

You couldn’t help but shake your head. “That sounds great, but I heard what you said. You don’t actually want that.”

It was his turn to shake his head as he violently disagreed with you. “No. You’re not annoying and you don’t get on my nerves, Y/N. I was just being an idiot. I promise, I’ll be your big brother again. I don’t want to lose my sister because I made a mistake.”

You sighed, moving closer to hug him. “You won’t. But I can’t keep getting updates about you on twitter because you won’t answer my texts.”

He reassured you once again that he would be a better brother, and you smiled. This was all you wanted, just your older brother back. Now that you had him, it felt like nothing could go wrong.

“Okay, so tell me what all I’ve missed out on.”

“So there’s this one bitch in my class...”

[mochismilesbrighterthansun]

Poisoned

Chapter 4

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader / Jung Hoseok x reader

Warnings: This story in general deals with dark themes but more into the story. Smut. Choking, dark smut. Degrading names, rough dirty smut.

Word Count: 5,484

Genre: Smut, Angst

Summary: You always knew what you wanted, you had it all planned out. But on a vacation to visit your parents you met the new tattoo artist in town and you couldn’t stay away from him.

A/N: This story will deal with darker themes as the story progresses. 

A/N.2: God I had not updated this in so long I just had to. This story took a turn I had not expected originally. But I do like this better than what I had already outlined. 

When you reached Jungkook’s house you stayed outside for a couple of minutes not trying to knock, knowing well what Jungkook’s reaction would be. He had tried to help you leave but one talk from Taehyung and everything had gone to shit. You knocked tentatively and at the third knock you heard rattling from the other side.

Jungkook stood there in a black Shirt and a pair of grey sweats. He opened the door wider allowing you to enter, wordlessly he walked inside to his room and you followed him in silence. Inside his room he went to sit in front of his TV and continued to play video games as if you weren’t there.

“Can we talk about it?” you asked lowly.

“Talk about what?, you decided to take the fucker back. What’s there to talk about?” he said it bored without humor as if he had been expecting this to happen.

“It’s more than that Jungkook, I mean he said he would try.”

He scoffed at that. “Try? To what? Be a decent human being?”

“Please just - can you try to be somewhat supportive, I know he isn’t your favorite person but can you try for me please?” you begged taking a seat next to him.

He sighed loudly. “I don’t like him, I don’t think he is good for you. He is manipulative and honestly? He sounds like a fucking psycho, you shouldn’t have to fix a guy.”

“I’m not if it doesn’t work out I can still leave Jungkook.”

“I just hope you can actually bail if you see he isn’t getting any better Y/N.” He turned back to the screen and continued to press the buttons on the black controller.  “I know you, you are incapable of giving up on someone you love.” his tone turned sad then.

“Just trust me okay?” You went to sit next to him and lay your head on his shoulder.

“Always do.” he mumbled so softly you thought you had imagined it.

After spending the rest of the afternoon with Jungkook you decided to go home and shower. The rest of the week went by in a bliss, Taehyung had begun to be more attentive. Almost like a regular boyfriend. He wouldn’t leave your side and it was almost as if he was afraid you would change your mind.

The only thing that seemed to remain the same was how much he guarded himself from you, never giving too many details about himself. No matter how much you pushed. He wouldn’t budge, and giving him ultimatums wasn’t something you wanted to build your relationship on.

And it didn’t affect you really until you saw her.

The girl he had sex with while you had been apart.

The girl he refused to speak of.

The girl who was untouchable.

And she saw you, you saw it in the slow smirk that appeared followed by a wink. And that just made your blood boil. But you couldn’t let it show, you felt Tae’s arm around your shoulders but did little to secure your feelings.

Truth was that everything felt like glass right now, and you were afraid of shattering it into a million pieces.

“You gonna tell me what’s fucking bothering you or are we pretending nothing is going on.” His tone was dark in a low rasp.

“What do you mean?” you mumbled, because you knew the argument that was about to follow.

“You just fucking stopped talking like two hours ago and I feel like a fucking idiot talking to myself.”

Had he not seen her? You sure had.

“Who is she?”

“Are we fucking playing the pronoun game? Who in the fuck are you even talking about?”

You felt drained all of a sudden and the earlier rage had dissolved into sadness.

“The girl Tae! The girl you fucked when you decided I was too overwhelming!”

He rubbed his face with his hands and let out an exasperated sigh. “This shit again?”

“What the fuck you mean again? You haven’t said anything about her and now she appears again? Is she here to fuck you again?” The words left a sour taste in your mouth, because as the days passed Taehyung had not even tried to have sex with you.

“Why are you being such a bitch?, I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.”

“We haven’t had sex and all of a sudden the last girl you fucked appears in this town? We both know she doesn’t live here!”

“You said you needed time! I’m not a patient man but I’m fucking waiting because you asked! So I don’t know where this is coming from!”

“I saw her downtown. While we were eating.”

“Oh” was all he said before dropping his gaze.

“Oh?” you left out a humorless chuckle, “Oh” you said again more forcefully, “OH! That’s all you have to say?! I say this bitch is in town and all you say is oh??” You were yelling you knew but you couldn’t stop it.

“Don’t call her that.” He rasped.

And that did it. Without thinking about it your open palm flew against his cheek. The slap echoed in the small empty living room.

“I will call that bitch” you dragged out the word. “Whatever I fucking feel like until you man up and tell me who the hell she is.”

He gave you his back, you noticed he was clenching and unclenching his fists. Then it dawned on you, you remembered what Jungkook said. “You shouldn’t have to fix a guy” and you knew in your heart he was right.

“It’s not gonna change is it?, you're never gonna tell me anything because I’ve given you everything without asking for anything in return. I give a mile and you won’t give me a fucking inch.”

He turned at your words. You felt the tears already, but you didn’t care. The words were unspoken but he knew the meaning behind them. And before he could change your mind you rushed downstairs and ran. Ran to the safest place you always went.

And when Jungkook opened the door with an annoyed face you lunged into his chest and began weeping because the crystal had shattered. But it wasn’t a physical object you could sweep and throw in the trash it was inside you beating but shattered into a million pieces.

After a while of you crying and staining Jungkook’s shirt, you began cleaning your face.

“I need a favor.” Your voice was hoarse.

“Anything.”

“I need you to drive me to the airport, and to pack all my shit and send it to me.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up.

“You’re not saying goodbye to your folks?”

“I can’t Jungkook, he’ll be expecting me to go home.”

“Can you just tell me what he did?” He sighed rising from where he sat.

“Nothing Jungkook, just nothing he won’t open up about himself and I can’t keep pushing. I know nothing about him. God I don’t even know his last name!” you left out a small bitter laugh. “I can’t be with a stranger, I know nothing about him Jungkook.”

He stared at you and slowly nodded.

“I’ll get your stuff,” he hesitated for a moment before continuing, “but I’ll bring your folks too, it’s fucked up for you to leave like that.”

You simply nodded and waited for Jungkook to come back. It wasn’t until way later that he showed up and you understood why he had taken so long. He showed up with a busted lip, his knuckles were bloody and his whole demeanor had changed.

“What happened?” You asked in a whisper, afraid of the answer he was about to give you.

“My earlier assessment of this fucker was right, he is crazy.” He walked to his kitchen sink and began washing the blood off his hands. “He fucking wanted me to let him see you and I said no.” He turned to you with half a smirk, “As you can see he didn’t take it that well.” He turned back to his hands and turned off the faucet.

You handed him a cloth as he wiped his hands and lip.

“I have your stuff in the back of my truck we should head out.” You looked back at his face and towards the door. “Unless you are having second thoughts?” He questioned seeing your hesitation. “Y/N?”

“I know I am doing the right thing.” You stopped and looked away. “But that doesn��t mean I don’t feel like shit Jungkook.”

He sighed loudly. “I am not saying it’s easy, you are doing the right thing. He doesn’t deserve you, not because of his tattoos or the fact that he makes them. It’s because he treats you like a disposable object. He doesn’t take the time to get to know you or for you to get to know him, he knows how important it is for you to get this details and he still doesn’t give a fuck.”

“I know,” your voice came out in a whisper, “I realize that, that’s why I have decided to leave.”

Jungkook hugged you one more time before rushing you into his truck. You didn’t know whether Tae was around or not. You doubted he gave a crap about you in general. Maybe it was just the idea of him not being able to have the final say. You knew how stubborn he could be.

Thoughts like this went through your head on your way to the airport. Jungkook kept quiet occasionally rubbing his knuckles against the rough fabric of his jeans.

“I’m sorry this vacation didn’t turn out to be what you expected.” Jungkook said quietly, his voice barely coming out in a rough whisper.

You smiled sadly, “it’s not like it was your fault. I got myself into this.”

“Stop making it seem like you made this terrible irreparable mistake when all it was was a simple misstep.” Jungkook argued under his breath.

“It isn’t a misstep Jungkook, can’t you see that?”

He was quiet after that, the drive was long and tedious. You closed your eyes and willed sleep but it would not come. It took you a moment to realize that the hollow feeling in your chest was just going to get bigger with the passing of days.

And even as Jungkook farewelled you with his signature bunny smile and Hoseok received you with his brightness and sunshine smile, it still took you three days of being locked up in your room before you decided to get up.

You made your way outside of your room freshly showered in your fluffy robe seeking for the only thing that would make you feel better.

“I was about to call the cops, wasn’t sure if the smell was you not showering or just a dead corpse in there.” Hoseok called from his spot from the living room.

“Thanks for the concern, I appreciate it.” you said bitterly but his only response was a loud laughter.

“Are we talking about this or are we going the teen drama way and pretend to ignore the elephant in the room?” he made no sudden moves as if scared  of your reaction.

“What is there to talk about?” you said lowly because you didn’t even know how to begin yourself.

“You know. But hey, I’m not going to push you alright? You come to me when you are ready.”  was his final sentence before he walked back into his bedroom.

And it took exactly a week. Everything that could go wrong went wrong that day. It was raining with thunder, the lights went out, which meant that your phone didn’t charge, which led to your alarm never waking you up which led to you being late, which simply led to more things. You were drenched in rain and your mascara was running and at this point you weren’t sure if it was the rain or your tears.

You arrived at your door and couldn’t find your keys. You cursed under your breath and just kicked the door once, twice until you heard movement from the other side. You were sobbing when Hoseok opened the door.

“Why th-” he stopped when he saw your face and immediately enveloped you in a hug.”Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” he led you to the couch and only let go to get a towel for you. Once you were fully wrapped he spoke again. “Keeping it in is only gonna make it worse, you know that right?”

You nodded mutely and dropped your gaze to the floor. “I don’t even know how to begin.” you croaked.

“Start from wherever you can,'' his voice was soft and inviting. You cleaned some of your tears with your sleeve.

“I met someone,” your voice was hoarse and you felt the tears again but you continued not caring about anything else. And you told him everything. Everything that had happened from the beginning to end. The silence that followed after you were done was something you already expected.

He sighed loudly. “You’re in love.” it wasn’t a question, it was a statement. “And that’s okay. But you made the decision to leave which in my opinion was the best thing you could have done.”

He stayed silent waiting for a confirmation that you were listening.

Slowly you raised your face and did the unthinkable. You pressed your lips against his. He didn’t push you away immediately. He did it slowly as if to not hurt your feelings.

“No, Y/N.” he whispered so softly you barely heard him, you tried again. “I said no, I won’t let you do this.”

“Please..” you whispered brokenly, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You know how much I care for you, we are not doing this because you feel lonely.” he tried.

“He doesn’t want me, and you don’t either.”

“That’s not fair.” he argued, but in your head there was no reasoning other than no one wanted you. Taehyung didn’t make a good enough effort to stay and Hoseok simply didn’t want anything to do with you.

You rose from the couch as if burned and rushed to your bedroom. You locked the door but didn’t miss the soft taps on the other side. “Please go away” you mumbled against the door.

You were embarrassed at even thinking Hoseok would want you like that. Something pulled in your chest and you wished you could take it back, you didn’t know how you were going to see him the next day. Being a coward you waited till you heard the click of the door to sneak out of your bedroom. A lonely note on your table with the sentence “We need to talk” scribbled in a rush.

You hurried up and got ready for your day. And it was hard, being away from Taehyung whatever short amount of time you had even been with him was painful. You pictured him in someone else’s arms by now. That girl. You couldn’t help but wonder about her. She was beautiful that much you could tell. She was probably in love with him too but, there he was unable to stick to a regular relationship.

And then there was Hoseok. You guys had been friends for so long, he was the one person you trusted in this place so far from home. He was like a second home and now you had ruined it. You knew he was probably scrambling looking for another roommate who didn’t make moves on him during inappropriate moments. You glanced at the clock in your small desk, you had missed the opportunity for the internship and had taken a small job in a communications company. You glanced at the papers around your desk and didn’t know what you were doing. But you couldn’t go home.  

Home was Hoseok and shame and you just couldn’t face him yet. You needed a little bit of time to get a hold of yourself. He was either going to kick you out or leave and you needed a back up plan.

Sooner than you’d like it was time to go home. You walked slowly not caring about the cold or the rain, the umbrella you had was small but it was enough to cover you from the rain. As you neared the building a sense of dread filled you. What were you supposed to say? Sorry for trying to have rebound sex with you be my friend again please?

You made your way closer to your building but as you did you felt a shiver and it wasn’t the cold, you stopped and looked around but you could not single anything out. You resumed your walk to the building and went into the elevator. You finally made it to the door that now seemed so much more heavy, you dropped your head and your gaze met the cold floor. And then you saw it, a small motorcycle toy on the floor.

You frowned and looked around looking for a kid, but you didn’t even remember seeing kids in this building. You looked around but didn’t see or hear any kids. A sound behind the door attracted your attention. You shook your head and grabbed your keys to enter the apartment. As soon as you entered you saw Hoseok sitting in the living room with books spread all over and a girl sitting across from Hoseok. He was smiling at her brightly, for a moment you felt a pang in your chest at this smile being directed towards her.

He saw you and his smile faded a little, your insides twisted painfully at the sight. He made a move to get up but you shook your head.

“It’s fine, I am just going to head to my room.” he stopped and you hurried to your room.

You closed and locked the door as if Hoseok would try to open it. He had never brought a girl home before in all the years you guys had lived together. If that wasn’t a clear -stay away from me I don’t like you- sign then you didn’t know what would be.

This went on for the next couple of weeks, you guys continued to live together but completely apart and it was driving you crazy. You made a mistake, how long was he going to punish you for?You had lost both Teahyung and Hoseok. And you were completely heartbroken. You did the best to hide it in between the days but at night when you were alone it was hard to shut the memories and every feeling that was going through you at that moment.

You would cry because you really could not formulate how things got to the point they were. You remembered when you first met him, he had offered you a place to live. Granted he was looking for a roommate but he had picked you. Out of everyone who he probably already knew, he chose you. And that just made you cry a little harder.

It was the weekend and you knew he was probably going to be stuck in there all day. And so were you. Any other time you guys would have probably gotten take out and stayed watching movies. But not today because you had fucked up. Royally.

You stayed in bed until you felt your stomach twisting in hunger. You made up your mind and decided to go make some breakfast. Maybe this could be a peace offering, maybe you guys could talk over breakfast. You made your way into the kitchen to see the coffee pot already making coffee. You frowned but started to work regardless. You heard a noise behind you and you turned expecting to see Hoseok. But what you saw was the girl you had been seeing studying with him.

She threw a smile your way, “Good morning, I am sorry I don’t know if I woke you Hobi told me to be quiet because you were probably tired.” she said. “I am Kendy by the way we haven’t been properly introduced. You are hardly ever here.” she extended her hand towards you, but you started at it before taking it hesitantly.

“Sorry, still half asleep. I’m Y/N” She already had a nickname for him. Maybe he had been dating her from before but you made a move. This was a clear indication that you made him uncomfortable.

“Oh I know.” her phone went off. “Oops gotta run, but it was nice to finally meet you.” she turned and went to leave in a rush.

You stood dumbfounded without knowing what to do. Just then Hoseok came out of his room shirtless. Looking lost as if he had just woken up. He was looking around and spotted you. His back went rigid instantly. You rolled your eyes and looked away.

“What was that?” you ignored him. “Hey Y/N”

“Yeah?” you asked bored. You turned to look at him.

“What was that face?” his eyebrows were pulled together as he said this.

“Are you fucking serious right now?”

Hoseok walked closer to you looking upset.

“Yeah I’m fucking serious.” he was angry, you could tell by the clench of his jaw.

“Why are you mad at me?, I didn't do anything!” you threw your hands in exasperation.

“You have been fucking avoiding me.” he stated crossing his arms across his chest.

You had never seen Hoseok as anything other than a friend, throughout all of this time he was probably one of your best friends like Jungkook was, so the feeling of jealousy was foreign to you, directed towards him. Meeting that girl just assured you even if it was in the slightest; you had developed an attraction for him. And you couldn’t do anything about it. You were unsure if it was caused by the pain of getting away from Taehyung and the feeling was still fresh in your mind.

You grew weary all of a sudden at the realization. You didn’t want to argue. You just needed time to figure out if it was only an attraction or something else.

“I think we have been mutually avoiding each other, didn’t realize me trying to kiss you was such a traumatic experience.” you mumbled turning around.

He sighed, “I told you I wanted to talk.”

“Yeah and when I came home you were occupied.” you continued to move around, you didn’t want to stay still for too long.

“Is that what this is about?, Kendy?” he said, “Why does it even matter?”

“Look if you didn’t want to ...to …..to do that with me that’s okay, you didn’t have to start bringing a girl around just to give me some subliminal message to stay away okay?” you explained as quickly as you could.

“Are you jealous?” he asked, almost amused.

“Look can we just forget I did that?, it was a mistake.” you busied yourself trying to prepare breakfast.

“A mistake.” Hoseok repeated.

“Yeah okay? Can things just go back to the way they were please?” You pleaded finally looking back at him.

He had an unreadable expression and slowly he smiled, not fully but a small smile.

“Yeah sure,” the uncertainty in his tone made you believe he didn’t believe what you were saying.

“I promise okay? I’m so sorry I did that I promise I won’t ever do anything like that.”

He nodded and looked away before fully turning and walking away from you without another word.

After that talk you expected things to change. Maybe not a lot but at least hold full conversations. But no, he kept bringing Kendy around even more. It was like she was moving in permanently, and of course Hoseok decided to stay away from you. Kendy was beautiful, funny and smart. Everything Hoseok deserved. Every day you felt him push you away even more. It got to the point where you began to get mad and you didn’t want to admit to being a little jealous. The familiarity, the way she could touch him but you barely got a muted nod.

And then there was this weird sensation every time you were walking home. You felt someone staring but you couldn’t find who it was. You wondered who would waste their time watching you and ceased to pay attention. You continued to walk home normally, and the toys kept appearing on your doorstep. You weren’t sure if it was a prank or someone kept leaving them on accident.

It was a particularly long day at work and you decided to stay for some overtime, it couldn’t hurt to stay a little longer it’s not like you had to rush home for something. It was dark when you went outside and began your walk home. Then you felt it, someone was walking behind you, you turned but it was a hooded figure. You held your belongings a little tighter to your body and began a brisker pace. When you turned the stranger was a bit closer. You began almost jogging then, you rushed to your apartment and opened the door in a rush, as you pushed it open you fell on the floor with everything around you but you didn’t care all you wanted was to close the door you kicked the door closed and locked it leaving everything on the ground. You turned to find Kendy and Hoseok looking at you. You ignored them and went to pick up your stuff. But Hoseok was on his feet in an instant.

“What happened? Are you okay?” He rushed to you but you raised your hands.

“I’m okay, it’s silly I felt someone was following me but it was obviously a mistake no worries.” Without another word you rushed to your room and locked the door. You went to your window and glanced outside, far away across the street there was the same hooded figure just standing. You closed the curtain and sat on your bed. Who could it be? You wondered.

You went to do your regular activities, you showered and went to lay in your bed when you heard a small knock; so light you felt you imagined it. You went to unlock your door to find Hoseok standing on the other side.

“Uhm did you need something?” You asked, confused.

He frowned, “ I came to see if you are alright?”

You looked back to your window and then to him, “yeah thanks for asking.” You went to close your door but he stuck his foot to prevent it.

“Can we talk?” His hand went to rub the back of his neck.

You were angry then, “I thought that’s what we were doing?”

“Don’t do that, don’t act like everything is okay between us because you know it’s bullshit.”

“I am not saying it is but I already apologized, how long are you going to punish me for what happened?” You were unaware of Kendy’s whereabouts but you doubted she was in the apartment.

“Punish? You think I am trying to punish you?” His eyes turned a darker shade and his demeanour changed completely.

“Then what is it?, you barely talk to me at all and you can’t blame it on me!”

He shook his head and pushed his way into your bedroom. He stayed giving you his back for a while before finally turning to you.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I had feelings for you and I didn’t want to be your rebound or fuck buddy or whatever the hell you had in mind?” He began walking towards you but you were too shocked to respond, you began walking backwards. “Or that I cared for you too much to take advantage of you while you were in that state?” Your back finally hit the wall and he reached you. “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to say no Y/N? After wanting you for so long?”

You were shocked by this confession, and you were a little doubtful of his words he reached for your face but stopped midway, your eyes were wide and you weren’t sure if you were still breathing.

“Because if we cross that line I wouldn’t be able to just have you for one night, I wouldn’t be strong enough to walk away after only one night with you.” He withdrew his hand completely and walked away leaving you alone in your room.

You were left to wonder what was going on. All this time you made yourself believe that he had no interest whatsoever in you. Other than a friendship, you knew he cared about you. You could see it in the way he always made sure you ate during your all-nighters, or always making sure to walk you back to the apartment.

He stopped doing these things after you had tried to kiss him. Then it hit you like a brick; you hurt him, you tried to use him. You were selfish and didn’t deserve his kindness, you wondered then what kind of feelings you had for him. You weren’t in love with him but you knew you had an attraction towards him. Your thoughts wandered to Kendy, what role did she play in all of this?

You dared to venture outside, the only light on was the one in the kitchen. His door was ajar but you could see the light filtering through the small opening. You took a deep breath and walked to his room to find him stuffing clothes into a small duffel. You began to panic then.

“What are you doing?” the panic in your voice halted all of his movements.

“Look-”

“N- no no ... I know I hurt you... but please don’t leave me…. please Hoseok.” You begged desperately, your eyes were wide and you were at your breaking point if he left - no you couldn’t even fathom him being completely gone.

“Y/N” he groaned, “you didn’t hurt me, but I can’t be around you right now. I need you to understand.” he pleaded, his features softening at your tone.

“That’s not fair, you never asked how I felt about you! You just assumed I didn’t give a crap.”

“Don’t do that, don’t pretend to have feelings for me. I know you care about me but I also know you only see me as a friend. And I get that, I respect that just please don’t ask me to let it go.” he said resuming his movements. He turned and opened a drawer.

“I am not pretending anything, you never let me explain what was going on in my head these last couple of weeks. How did you even expect me to ask you to stay or anything in general when you pretty much moved in your girlfriend, what was I supposed to say? I thought you were pushing me away because you just saw me as a friend and were trying to not give me mixed signals and - will you stop and listen to me for two fucking seconds!”

He stopped opening and closing drawers. His back straightened and he seemed to consider something but then shook his head.

“I can’t believe you.” he seethed.

“E-excuse me?” you asked trying to reach for him, but he turned abruptly cutting you off.

“I asked you and you said you made a mistake, I asked you if you were jealous of Kendy and you said no!”

“I never said no, I told you I wasn’t going to assault you anymore! I thought that was the whole problem.” you yelled back completely frustrated.

He sighed loudly and turned away from you.

“Don’t lie to me just to spare my feelings. Or because you don’t want me to leave. I need you to be honest.”

You mulled over for a little, choosing your words carefully.

“I feel attracted to you.” there you said it, you waited for his reaction for what seemed forever he turned to face you. “If you give me a chance, I don’t know maybe -” he cut you off pulling your face towards him. His lips met yours in a small yet desperate kiss. As if he was trying to find the lie there. His lips moved slowly, and then he pulled away.

“Is this because of Taehyung?,” he asked fearfully.

“I don’t know.” you answered honestly, “I will never know if the feelings I developed for you are because of Taehyung or because I just simply realized what an amazing person you are. And I can’t mull over it, I can just tell you how I feel right now.”

Slowly a genuine smile formed. “We can take this slow. I don’t want you to feel like I am pressuring you into anything.” he kissed you again as if to seal his statement.

[dontshootmespence]

Inner Peace

Summary: There is never a dull moment in the life of the Winchesters, but when you and Sam have two seconds to breathe, can you sneak in a little alone time?

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1,274

Warnings: Impala sex, riding, all the touching, slight fluff and angst with smut blanketing the whole lovely thing, some funnies, fairly generic sexy times, Sam’s massive cock, you know, the usual!

A/N: For those of you 18 and over! This fulfills my “impala sex” square for @spnkinkbingo. Set in episode 13.19, Funeralia, with some details changed slightly to fit my idea.

After banishing the Mark of Cain, settling the worst case of sibling rivalry in existence between Chuck and Amara, and Sam and Dean’s mother coming back from the dead after 30 years, one would think the group deserved a break, but apparently not. 

“Why don’t Cas and I go to the gallery where Elizabeth died and the two of you can go lore crazy, or whatever it is you nerds do,” Dean said exasperatedly, desperate for a break from the ongoing madness that was their lives. 

“Fine,” you huffed, sick of being foisted upon the lore despite your love of books and not stop pursuit of supernatural knowledge, “But you two take Cas’ car, we get Baby.”

If Sam had suggested it, he would’ve laughed it off, but as the woman who was keeping his brother at least somewhat happy and free from drowning in his own misery, he tended to give in to you. “You’ve got me over a barrel and you know it.”

“I do,” you laughed. “We’ll meet you back at the bunker later. Keep us updated.”

                                                              -----

The ride back to the bunker was mainly filled with silence until some random chick appeared in the back seat forcing you and Sam off the road. Apparently, her name was Jessica, a reaper sent by Billie to keep on eye on them. Once she explained that people were dying before their times and that they could call on her for assistance if need be, she disappeared, leaving you and Sam to finally return to the bunker.

As Sam pulled Baby into the garage and cut the engine, he took a deep breath, brows furrowed in sudden anxiety. “You okay, babe?” You asked, stepping out of the car. 

“I’m just...tired,” he replied, combing his fingers through his hair. “We need a break. We...we deserve a break, don’t we?”

Nodding, you walked around the car and wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning into his muscled chest and just allowing yourself to be, if only for a moment. “We should get going,” you said after a moment. 

When you moved, Sam pulled you back, desperate for more than just the slight reprieve. “Just another minute, please.” His voice cracked ever so slightly and it broke your heart. 

One moment slid into the next as you breathed each other in and shut the rest of the world out. You all needed a vacation, but you wanted to take Sam away to a far off island and distract him from all the bullshit. Tipping your head upward, you dragged your lips against the stubble on his jawline. With all the running around, he’s barely had a chance to shower, eat and sleep, no less shave, but you don’t mind. The coarseness sends a shiver down your spine, causing you to arch into the fullness of his body in a search of some sort of inner peace. Maybe if he’ll let you, you can forget for a few moments.

“We should really get inside,” he said, voice straining as his cock pushed against the confines of his jeans. 

You ran your palm down his chest and underneath his shirt, playing at the hemline of his jeans, teasing as your fingers danced around his leather belt. “Maybe we should, but maybe we deserve two seconds of a break...Sam, let me help you forget for a minute.”

Testing your boundaries, you begin to undo his belt. He fought his desire for a moment longer before giving in, cupping your face in his hands and opening your mouth with the intensity of his soft lips. 

Without care for the crappy fluorescent lights of the bunker’s garage or the slight tang of your sweat-slick skin, you push Sam back against Baby’s frame and slip your hand underneath his boxers, slowly palming at his length until he’s putty in your hands. “Y/N, we...”

“Shhh, love. Just let go and let me take care of you.” You step back and pull your shirt up over your head, tossing it into the front seat before opening the back door and crawling inside.

Eyes glazed and mind dazed, Sam followed behind and pulled the doors closed  before gathering you into his lap. You grind down in desperation, not realizing just how much you need this too, the friction and the material between you becoming almost unbearable. 

Sam smashes his lips against yours, devouring your taste as you shimmy his jeans down and push them around his ankles. His length pulses in your hand as you tease the head, lubing him up with a mix of spit and pre-come. 

A guttural moan leaves his lips as you slid down onto his length, watching him as he watches himself disappear inside of you. He palms your breasts, roughened hands scratching deliciously across your nipples, finally allowing himself the moment’s reprieve you both deserve. 

Breaths become heavy when you grind down onto him, his thumb resting gently against your clit so that with each circle of your hips an electric pulse of pleasure snakes its way up your body. 

Sam dips his head down and takes a nipple into his mouth, wrapping it in the silkiness of his tongue, so warm, so wet. “God, baby, I’ve missed you.”

You haven’t been apart for weeks, but you know exactly what he means. This kind of intimacy tends to slip away during times like these. “I’m here, baby. Let go. Fuck me.”

He wraps his enormous hands around your hips and holds you down, thrusting his cock into your pussy in a desperate search for solace. He closed his eyes and pulled your head into the crook of his neck, keeping up a steady pace until he was crying out and you were shaking in his arms. You kissed the sweat off his skin and tightened your walls around him, shaking as hot spurts of come coated your insides. “Sam-”

“I love you,” he whispered, resting his forehead against yours as he softened inside you. A small smile emerged after what seemed likes weeks away. “Thank you for that. I think I needed that.”

“I think we both did.” You removed yourself from his lap and slide to his side, curling in underneath his arm. “Let’s just stay here for a few more minutes. Then we can go lore crazy.”

In the silence, you both nearly fell asleep until you heard someone exclaim from outside the car. “What the fuck?!”

“Dean?” You called out, rolling down the window with a sheepish smile. “Didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”

“What the hell is going on?” 

“Do I need to give you the birds and the bees talk Dean? I know it can be a little complicated.”

Cas looked over the car and turned to Dean. “It appears they’ve pulled a Titanic.”

Snickering, you closed the window and put on enough clothes that you wouldn’t be flashing your basically brother-in-law and your friendly neighborhood seraph. 

Sam let loose a laugh much needed when he heard Dean and Cas bickering outside the car. “Metatron downloading every single pop culture reference into your brain is literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!”

As you slid out of the car, you tapped his shoulder. “No, I think the worst thing is the knowledge that Sam’s bare ass has been on your back seat.”

Dean did what felt like a quintuple take between the back seat and the two of you running away. You’d both get it from him for a little while but Cas couldn’t help but join you in laughter. It was hard to come by these days.

[knightofameris]

YEAAAAAHHHH WE SMARTASSES!! WOOOO WE GOT THROUGH MIDTERMS

p h y s i c s ?????? I am. So sorry. i am so sorry you have to deal with physics. that sounds horrible and i would never wish it upon anyone. AND NO YOURE SMART YOU GOT THIS!!! i am cheering you on while also planning on overthrowing anyone who tries jeopardizing your way to the top— anyways. brain = off. mind = everywhere but nowhere at once. and no u.

HHHHGNFNGHHGG I LOVE NARNIA SO MUCH. the entire story was so good and it always made me cry no matter how many times i read the books/watched the movies. not me having the hugest crush on both edmund and susan pevensie....., ANWYAYS YES!! i can totally see what you’re saying with their similar writing styles!! god i love when authors :) and MC is just. Amazing. there is no other way to describe her. i love her to pieces and if i could i would steal her for myself ngl i wouldn’t be opposed- i mean what?

the more i read the more i just want to stop at the A/N right before all the alt endings 😭😭😭 it’s so tempting, because i feel EXACTLY how you feel with going there for the boys but now i’m just so invested in MC finding herself and becoming happy. i want that someday. it’s making me realize how much i want to be a main character and it’s sad BDKSNDS

(also thank you for recommending me this,,, honestly it made me so happy when you made a specific post for me,,, i love it when people send me things bc it reminds them of me or they want me to get into it bc they think i’ll like it like it just warms my heart fbsksndksk) —🧸 <3

HI HI HI UPDATE I FINDIEHD ALL THE ALTERNATE ENDINGS WHILE LISTENING TO THE RESPECTIVE PLAYLISTS THAT THE AUTHOR MADE ON SPOTIFY AND IM REALLY GOING TO CRY?????? AND THEN I LISTENED TO SOME OF THE SONGS FROM THE REGULAR PLAYLIST AND IM JSUT SITITNG HERE ALSO I LOVE DIBA AND ARANYANI SO MUCH I MISS THEM WTF AMERIS HELP I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE THIS FANFIC HAS CHANGED ME WHAT THE FUCK —🧸

p.s. my favorite ending and arc in general was iwaizumi’s. i refuse to comment further

I COMBINED IT CUS I FEEL BAD FOR SPAMMING THE DASH AHAHAHHA. 

and putting it under a read more because this bad boi is long

I still,,, have another midterm. but its okay this one I'm not too worried about LMAO. 

KDSAJFLADSJF YEAH ME TOO IM SORRY I HAVE TO DEAL WITH PHYSICS TOO what kind of dumbass chooses physics as their major? (me, i’m the dumbass) BUT THANK YOU AHAHA. ill fight everyone for you too!!! brain off always, I accidentally posted the drabbles when I was supposed to post them all tomorrow AHAHAHAH. 

NARNIA WAS REALLY GOOD (don't look at my old works tho, I wrote them when I was 15 and bad at writing please.) its very nostalgic and I really want to reread them tbh. they were just so good AHHHH 

DUDE YEAH ID DATE MC AHAHAHAHAH. god. i was so tempted to not finish the fic either but here I am. i want to reread but I don't want to get hurt LOOOOL. fuck the boys we’re here for MC Suzuki. LOL 

and of course!! I really thought you’d like it and I really really love this story sm. <3 

ALSO OMG I NEVER LISTENED TO THE PLAYLISTS..... OOPS. LOL. diba is such a good character and aRANYANI is that how u spell her name idk. LOL I REALLY LOVED THE OCS. I liked her family even tho her mom wasn’t perfect and like, yeah! her mom doesn’t deserve a redemption arc but she’s trying to be better which I fuck with. even the mom knows she wasn’t perfect and that she should've done better. but alas.  

you’ll need a few moments to let the fic settle in. good luck. LOL

I.... am biased and I say suga AHAHAHHAA with oikawa as a close second and kuroo next! also loved iwaizumi too!!! 

ALSO ALSO. I'm in the discord server with the Fly High writer that she has, and I showed her some of your comments (I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND AHKDJG) but she said thank you and that it means the world! it took her a moment to reply because she was dancing around the room, her words not mine! LOL 

[xserpentlife]

Talk To Me

Requested: @allie-is-happy Hey, can I get a SP headcanon about his girlfriend who doesn’t talk much? She only talks when asked questions but then it’s still a “yes” or “no”. She never really says more than 5 words at a time. She just generally hates talking. But he always tries to get her to break through and she slowly warms up to him. It can include smut or not. Thank You so much!!♥️♥️♥️

A/N: I combined the southside archives prompt of the day Laughter into this <3 I am also pretty sure this is barely considered a headcanon but ima live my life and pretend it is.

Warnings: Talk of Death, but no actual death, Wounds

Word Count: 2070

- You moved to Riverdale, a quiet girl even before that you became quieter moving to the new town

- You didn’t know anyone and as you grew up you were never popular

- Always looked at as the weird girl, the one no one wanted to know

- Moving to Riverdale was scary for you

- You assumed no one would want to know you, or what you were thinking

- You thought that until your second day when you met a tall Serpent

- He tried talking to you, instantly introducing himself as Sweet Pea, but you coiled back giving a wave and then walking away

- You were always afraid to talk never wanting to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

- Weeks went by and though he talked to you and you would smile and nod you still never saying a word to him

- It went along for months, he would talk and you would only nod or shake your head in response

- The highlights of his day were when he would make you laugh

- The laughter was always music to his ears and all he wanted was to hear what else could come out of you

- Months, months went by and no matter what he needed to tell you every time you spoke his sole goal was to get you to laugh because if he couldn’t hear you talk at least that laugh made his heart swell just as much as seeing you did

- Then one day he pulled you aside striking up a conversation and then pulled out a purple notebook, handing it to you and then walking away

- You were confused, to say the least

- You opened the book and nothing was written except for one line “This is for you, I want to know you, I wanna hear what you have to say. I’m not sure if you can talk, maybe you can’t but if you can and you're scared, know I am here. Either way, this book is for you so we can talk without you being scared. If you choose not to use it that’s fine too I’ll be content with seeing your smile and hearing that beautiful laugh”

- No one had ever been that considerate towards you

- No one ever cared that much

- Did he really like your laugh? You for one always thought it was obnoxious.

- So a few weeks went by where you talked back and forth to Sweet Pea, you also exchanged numbers, and talked through text as well

- Then you were hanging out with him at Pops, and of course, Reggie Mantle had to start shit, but Sweet Pea had walked away and you were alone

- “Sweet pea isn’t shit, Why don’t you hang with me and I'll show you a good time, What? Serpent got your tongue”

- “Stop Reggie” the first two words anyone ever heard you say

- Then he touched you, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him as you got up to make your way towards Pea who had just exited the bathroom

- “Get off” And within seconds Sweet Pea was by you ripping his hand off your arm before landing a swift punch to his face and dragging you to his truck

- “Are you okay” you nodded

- “No Y/N I’m serious are you good he never should have…”

- “Thank you” He slammed on the breaks laying a hand to your chest so you wouldn’t lurch forward and he just stared at you smiling

- But he didn’t mention what happened, instead continuing on the drive not wanting to make a big deal.

- that night you spoke again the first time he ever heard you say his name “Bye Pea” before placing a quick kiss to his cheek

- But the next day at school you were just as quiet as before

- Pea introduced you to some of his friends and you said nothing but then he pulled you to the library “hey Pea”

- He looked up meeting his eye with yours “yeah Y/N”

- “I uhm, wanted to thank you again”

- “You don’t need to thank me Mantle should have never”

- “Doesn’t matter, just thanks”

- You sat down starting the work on the project

- For months Pea tried getting you to open up more, for months here and there you would say a word no more than 2 or 3 at a time

- The most you had said to him was “I enjoyed dinner”

- See Pea never mentioned or talking or forced you to say anything

- He understood that you were not comfortable but what he didn’t understand was why

- Why wouldn’t you talk to him longer?

- Did he make you uncomfortable?

- He just wanted to know, just wanted you to feel safe with him

- But that all changed two days ago. He wasn’t in school. He usually walked you home but he wasn't there. Luckily his best friend had stepped in

- “Pea told me if he ever didn’t make it to school it was my job to walk you hope you don’t mind. I’m Fangs if you don’t remember”

- “I do” he looked at you in shock

- “Sorry I didn’t mean to do that just… you don’t talk much do you”

“Nope”

- “Oh… well I love when you hang around Pea’s always cracking jokes to try to get you to laugh”

- “Yeah…”

- “He loves it…”

- “Huh”

- “Nevermind”

- You pulled Fangs to a halt you needed to know

- “Is uh Pea mad at me, or does he not want to talk to me”

- “No not at all why?”

- “Well he isn’t at school and…”

- “No don’t ever think that Y/N, he really enjoys hanging out with you”

- “Then where is he?”

- “I don’t know…”

- “What!”

- “We are looking for him we have no idea where he went, well looks like we are here, I’ll let you know of any updates on Pea”

- “And that is when you felt like your world broke”

- So you texted him garnering no response, and you worried more

- You went to bed after sitting up for hours, hoping to get some response but to no avail, not even in the morning after waking up or throughout the day at school. You told Fangs you wanted to walk alone. He refused over and over but you insisted so he let you go.

- You took a different way home that day, walking the path that Pea showed you months ago, the path that goes past his favorite tree, the path that shows the outlook onto Sweet Water River

- But on your way through that path you were looking all around and then saw something and heard a groaning in the grass, you got scared hiding behind a tree, but then you saw it crawling looking more human like as it got closer but it hadn’t seen you. And almost standing to its full height while standing with the support of a tree you knew instantly

- “Pea!” Running up and crashing into him as his arms came around you and he almost fell you let go pushing him to the tree

- “Pea, talk to me”

- “Y/N what are you…”

- “What the fuck happened to you, Pea oh my god your fucking bleeding” he looked to you in shock

- “That's the most I've ever heard you say in one sentence

- “Now is not the time for that!, “I’m gonna call Fangs” Pea slid down the tree at that point almost hitting with the thud but you caught him as best you could

- “Pea keep your eyes open for me please”

- After getting off the phone with Fogarty he picked you up helping Pea into the truck and handing you a wet washcloth as he drove

- “Go to my house Fangs”

- “Are you sure”

- “I can patch him up, promise”

- “Okay” So he drove as you sat with me talking to him trying to keep him coherent to what you were saying as tears clouded your eyes

- You finally got to your house bringing him onto the couch so you could patch him up. He was in bad shape. A cut eyebrow, a laceration to his lip but worst of all was the cut on his leg where you assumed he was slashed with a knife

- “Is he gonna be okay Y/N”

- “Yeah he will be fine Fangs, just uh gotta stitch his legs keep him alert I need to grab the stuff”

- “Okay”

- You came back down in an instant grabbing the alcohol and pouring it directly onto his cut as he yelped in pain, you needed to clean it before he got an infection. You got to work slowly but as quickly as possible sticking him, but through it he passed out. You didn’t know if it was pain or blood loss and there was no way to tell.

- “Pea!” Fangs had been in the other room grabbing another cold washcloth as it happened, running in instantly

- “Y/N what happened!, Pea!”

- “I gotta finish”

- “Y/N what!”

- “Stop Fangs, please stop”

- “Okay, hey he’s gonna be fine” You finished stitching him up as best as possible grabbing the cloth from fangs and wiping the blood away before covering him with a blanket

- You sat down on the floor in front of him as Fangs came and sat next to you, you laid your head on his shoulder

- “You did great”

- “What if it wasn’t good enough”

- “He will be fine”

- “You don’t know that”

- “What if I wasn’t fast enough?, what if I let him bleed too much? What if…”

- “Stop your just getting yourself worked up”

- “I can’t lose him Fangs”

- “You won’t”

- “He’s all I have, the one person that cared”

- “I care”

- “It’s not the same”

- “I know, but just know you have me too okay”

- “Okay”

- “I gotta run to the serpent den tell them what went down and that we found him, does he need anything”

- “Get some pain meds from the store, he may need them when he wakes up” and with a quick side hug Fangs was out the door”

- You sat with your back against the couch leaning your head onto pea’s shoulder while holding his hand

- For twenty minutes not saying a word, just crying, but you needed to say it needed to hope that he could at least hear you in his sleep

- “Pea, I know you probably can’t hear me and I really hope I fixed you up good, but I just… Fuck this is so hard. I need you to know that I care so fucking much about you and you mean the world to me. You were there when no one would even give me the time of day. You were there when no one else was, you talked to me even when I wouldn’t talk back. You made me feel like I mattered, like I was cared for, for the first time in my life and for that I am eternally grateful. I can’t lose you. If I lose you I don’t know what I would do with myself becuase your my best friend my whole world so please wake up Pea, please” Crying through it all you sniffled at the end holding his hand and giving it a kiss on the top.

- “You can’t get rid of me that easy” Your head snapped behind you as you saw Pea’s eyes staring into your own

- “Pea!” You crushed him in a hug before an “ow” left his lips “sorry”

- “That is the first time I ever heard you say that much”

- “Yeah”

- “I loved hearing you, but why now?”

- “Guess I only talk when things matter”

- “Oh so losing me matters?”

- You let out a laugh “I guess so”

- “Ah there it is, knew I'd get you to stop crying eventually

- “Why do you love my laugh so much”

- “Cause when you couldn’t bring yourself to talk your laugh showed me that you were at least okay. Your laughter is still my favorite sound that comes out of you, makes me smile even when the days are tough”

- “Pea”

- “Y/N I like you”

- “I like you too”

- “Would you go on a date with me”

- “After your healed, yeah” he laughed then

- “Pea…”

- “Yeah”

- “Can I lay with you”

- “Of course” you fell asleep that night entangled in his arms in the most comfortable position possible for the both of you considering his injuries, and even through a grunt of pain here and there he never let you go

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #255

“who gives a fuck if they hate you; you’re the god that they pray to.”

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed? It would suck. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? I didn't like, sob, but "Another Life" by Motionless In White does it. Your ex REALLY needs you at 3am and you have a way to their house would you go? Well, I can't with Sara considering she lives two hours away, and that's by plane. If she lived here, duh. For Girt or Jason, yes. Without saying any names what is one thing that you would like to say to someone(s)? I'm sorry. Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present? No. Would you date someone who lived in another state? Eh, maybe. I don't know if I want to do long-distance again. I mean I probably would, but idk. Are you friends with your ex? Sara and Girt, yes. Who is the person you last texted? Sara. When’s the last time you told people you were fine, but really weren’t? I dunno, I honestly don't lie about that often. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Months back when I found out the shit my therapist said about me and disability. Not only did I want to knock her jaw off, but I sobbed for like, a long-ass time. Who did you spend your summer with last year? Just Mom, really. ... Or wait, maybe that was the summer Sara was here??? My memory is such shit, idk if that was last year or the one before. What’s bothering you right now? Stress about dropping out. Have you lost friends in the past year? I don't think so, at least. Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out? We did date. If the person you’re dating said they were falling in love with you, what would you do? I'm not dating anyone. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? Sara. Do you have a secret life? RP stays a pretty big secret. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yes. Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No. What are you watching? Nothing rn, surprisingly. I'm listening to music. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? She's single. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yeah. There’s a serial killer in your house, what do you do? Jump out the window. If the last person you kissed went back to their first love, what would you do? I think I am hers. Do you own any bug spray? No, not currently. We need some damn wasp killer. Every spring/summer, they build a nest literally right above our back door. Are you a good gift giver? Honestly think I'm really good at it. I always try to put a load of thought into it. What's the longest trip you’ve ever been on? The drives to either NY or Florida. I can't remember which is further. Are you a daughter or son-in-law? No. Do you know anyone in the military? Multiple people. Do you like your significant other's siblings? N/A Have you ever received a singing birthday card? Yeah. Those always suck when you open them and boom, loud singing to an obnoxious song. Do you own anything made by APPLE? My iPod. Have you ever tried Hamburger helper? Yeah, that was a semi-frequent dinner as a kid. I never liked it that much, though. What was your first car's color? N/A Do you have a best friend? Ye. Do you remember who your Kindergarten teacher was? I do. Do you have a favorite president? A least favorite? No, considering I don't know enough about any and their policies. Can you french braid? No. Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? I was as a tiny kid. I met my first best friend that way. What's your least favorite color? I'm just gonna use the very basic colors: yellow or green. Do you know anyone in jail? Not currently. Do you have kids? Ew. What's the strangest name you’ve ever heard? Apples. Yes. I'm serious. How old were you when you learned to walk? Idk. Do you own anything made of lace? Yeah. What's your favorite football team? Idc. What kind of bubble gum do you chew? Just about any. Fruity is my favorite. Do you wear a one-piece bathing suit or two-piece, a speedo or trunks? NOBODY needs to see me in a two-piece. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. Do you support a charity? Well of course. I used to give coins to those super-old charity things for sick kids back in the day, but I can't remember the exact charity it was. I also donated hair to Children With Hair Loss a couple years back. I haven't donated to any other that I know of bc no personal income and I don't ask my parents for money really, but boy have I wanted to. I always use that Facebook feature where you pick a charity to share and ask for donations for your birthday, though; I've done the Trevor Project and one for pancreatic cancer in honor of my grandmother. I don't remember the others. Do you pop your knuckles? EW no please don't in my presence @ Sara. Do you scrapbook? No. I just don't have the creative drive and dedication to. If you could change your eye color would you and to what color? A much brighter blue. Have you ever had braces? For a long-ass time because we couldn't afford to take them off. One tooth is pushed too far back because of it. Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? No. I want to live in the woods where *that's* my yard. When were you the saddest in your whole life? 2016 OH WOWIE WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a ghost? I definitely believe I have. Are you a virgin? No. How many books do you read a month? I like, just started reading again, so I can't say. Can you type fast? Very. In school were you bullied? I'm extremely thankful I wasn't. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I love it. Do you own a boat? Not me myself, no. Dad does. What about a camper? No. Do you read the newspaper? No. Are you on any teams? Team Mystic in Pokemon Go *waggles fist @ criticism* If you died today where do you think you’d go? Idk. Who really knows what happens when you die. I hope it's some serene existence, but, *shrugs*. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Ummmm I don't think so. Who is the first contact in your cell phone? Best friend! :') What color are you bed sheets? The one I'm using now is light blue. Do you use online dating? I cannot FUCKING believe I was briefly on Christian Mingle I would actually rather die- How often are you sick? Extremely rarely. Did/Do you miss a lot of school? Eh. I had my mental health days and had to leave early a lot. Do you like scented candles? Yeah man. When was the last time you were told you were pretty/beautiful/gorgeous? When I recently changed my FB picture after forever. Do you hate the last guy, other than family, you had a conversation with? No. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Roman being silly. If someone were to ask you out right now would you say yes? I don't know. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yeah. Name four things you want right now: My fucking tattoo updated laksjdlflw, a healthy goddamn weight, my laptop, and a tarantula omg. Do you prefer to hold or be held? I mean, it depends on who we're talking about. I guess generally held? Are you currently wanting any piercings? You have no idea. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. What was the last thing that made you feel like your life was complete? lol I've never felt that. You ever slept on the floor with someone you liked? Yeah. Do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school? Off the very top of my head, no. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it? One of my favorite pictures of Teddy, because I adore and miss him. Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? Plaid. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? I mean, not especially. They're crowded and it's a bad association anyway since it was the last time I hung out with Jason. The cake is indeed the best part, lmao. Mexican food, Chinese food, Italian food, French food or American food? American. What is the color scheme of your absolute favorite fast-food restaurant? Red, yellow, and blue. Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? Very rarely. I'm not all that tall. Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Carpet. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? No. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? As someone who is bipolar, very much so, yes. Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I was fine. Do you like those "end of the world," "Armageddon" movies? Not especially. Ever been choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you remember who you sat next to in Kindergarten? Who was it? No. Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, by far. Strawberries and broccoli. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: This is not intentional or meant to be discriminatory of those with 'em, but penises literally repulse me visually. Do you like meeting new people? What’s your most common greeting? Yeah, even though I'm scared. I think I say "hi" or "hey" most. What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? Extremely heteronormative. Would you survive if zombies were to take over the world? Why or why not? HA no. I'm an anxious mess that is not fast or nimble in any way. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I like the reddish/yellowish ones. Do you live anywhere near a mall? Maybe like, 15-20 mins away. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. What’s your favorite lunch meat, if you even like any in the first place? Honey ham. Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pencil, by far. You can erase. Scibbling stuff out looks messy. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I am NOT kidding: one of the motivating factors of me going back to public school after 8th grade was the idea of making new friends and maybe making a band to be the guitarist lmfao. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? I have multiple for different reasons, but #1's gotta be Mark, man. Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? I was a really friendly kiddo. Do you keep secrets from your parents that you don’t keep from your friends? I don't think so. What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? Idk who that would be. Ever submit a video to America’s Funniest Home Videos? I don't believe we have. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Jesus fuck, I wouldn't wish having an infected cyst drained without NEARLY enough numbing medication on the goddamn devil. Are you someone who likes to eat Poptarts? What’s your favorite flavor? Yeah. I like the chocolate sundae one most. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. What is your favorite flavor of Doritos? What do you drink with them? MMMMMMMMMMM cool ranch. Usually soda with chips. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Ozzy. *shrugs* I like my online nickname and the "y" added sounds kinda affectionate ig. Do you already have your outfit for tomorrow planned out? I don’t plan my outfits. Has your favorite song ever been featured on a commercial? No. What would you say was the best year of your life? Why? 2017. SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT AND HEALING!!!!!!! Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? No. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No.