#god this absolute dyke i love her SO much

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

⚔️⚔️ Sword gays showdown, grand finale ⚔️

*Camilla fanart by @friendamedes, used with permission

Propaganda:

For Camilla:

she prefers dual-wielding two short blades but can fight with pretty much anything. she's ambidextrous she's autistic she's even sex-repulsed ace. she sighs longingly when reunited with her weapons. she's from planet academia and dresses like an off-duty librarian. literally one of the most iconic moments of the entire series is when she gets challenged to a duel and absolutely wipes the floor with her opponent even though she doesn't even like rapiers that much. 'swords don't lie.' 

OK I’m sure you’re getting just about every character from The Locked Tomb but Cam is my favorite. She's a nerd AND a jock. She is in this deeply intense and loving and unhealthily codependent soulbond partnership with her best friend second cousin and prince. She is smart and deadpan snarky and fights like a grease fire and I have never been able to get that line out of my head.

For Gideon:

she's incredibly good w/ her two hander and less good with her rapier but she's still pretty good!! she is a horny lesbian who's taste in women seems to exclusively be "girls who have tried or are going to try to kill her". she's a redhead. i love her

Gideon’s a HUGE Butch lesbian and literally always wanted to use a broad sword. Specifically a broad sword. She said fuck rapiers. Uhhh literally dies to save the girl she cares for and the sword she uses then becomes like an altar for said girl. Gideon Nav Supremacy <3

oh she is the most badass swordswoman lesbian in media. she’s her gf’s cavalier, defends her in battle, she’s incredibly butch and buff

C'mon shes THE sword lesbian like... canonically 

Loves her broadsword more than anything on her home planet and practices whenever she can. Spoiler it’s possessed by her mom. Gave everything so her best enemy could eat her soul and become the new saint. The character of all time child of two separate threesomes, child of the god emperor, she’s dead, she’s butch, she’s a dork, she’s doomed by the narrative. She’s my favorite.

girlie is literally the swordswoman supreme. she’s the cavalier primary to her necromancer. she has a fuckoff huge longsword. she gets absorbed into another person SPECIFICALLY to swordfight for them. in a gay way too.

While everyone else was developing common sense, she studied the blade. This dyke's main weapon and true love is the long sword, but she's also passable with a rapier. The sword is, in her own estimation, pretty much all she's good for. That and her smoking hot bod and terribly charming sense of humor. 

"While we were developing common sense, she studied the blade." (Direct quote from the book). She's the most useless lesbian to ever exist, and she's obsessed with an absolute wet cat of a woman. Learned longsword mostly on her own and is such a genius with the sword she learned rapier in a few months (by personal experience, it's really really hard)

Most badass broadsword wielding lesbian easily slaying bone monsters and evil space wasps

The cavalier to her necromancer. very gay. in a complicated codependant lovehate relationship with the only other person her age she knew growing up.

For Xena:

It is HER! The OG woman with a blade! 

Her show was so iconic that any lesbian over the age of 30 knows her IMMEDIATELY because this show probably helped her have her awakening. Fandom foremothers and fathers rise up and get your gal a title.

An all around badass, bisexual woman, comfortable with many different bladed weapons. Her show was so much better than Hercules people forget his exists.

Xena is one of the OGs: once a baddie who turned good, she's a warrior who uses swords, daggers, and her trusty chakram to defeat evil and defend the innocent, while traveling with her kickass girlfriend Gabrielle. 

She has many skills

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Friday 13th everyone! Oh my gosh, two weeks to go, I'm so excited. Here's another round of the fic I've been reading when not actively losing my mind over all the buzzy promo landing. You can find previous rec lists here.

13 September 2024

the wayward son by @gayhoediaz had me GRIPPED. As the author summarises: 'Eddie misses his son, grows a mustache, pines after his best friend, and becomes a regular at a gay sex club. That last part is either an indulgence or an inevitable, somewhat self-destructive conclusion to several decades worth of compulsory heterosexuality and catholic guilt. Don’t ask him which.' The result of this is a scorchingly hot voyeuristic thrill ride with an absolutely aching emotional heart along as a passenger. I felt so much for Eddie as he self destructed and built himself back up again, truly throwing himself in at the deep end, and then Buck there to catch him when he falls. This fic gave me every emotion and was so incredibly satisfying. I already know it's gonna be one to go back to time and again.

had a feeling i could be someone by @butchdiaz of course I had to include the butch dyke Hotshots on XYZ inspired Eddie contemplating shaving her head fic. This one resonated with me so much, and was such a lovely take on the themes we're seeing in personhood and self actualisation and ownership of image versus what your parents intended for you. I love this character study of Eddie reclaiming her butch identity and expression, and Buck's sweet support in her journey. Make sure to check out the gorgeous fanart by @iinryer it was inspired by and it inspired if you haven't already seen it!

whatever you like by @clytemnestraaa 'hello mr performance anxiety meet mr desperate to please' sums it up perfectly. In which established relationship Eddie and Buck are having sex, but they still need to work on their communication. Buck wants to know what Eddie likes in order to give him that experience, but that's easier said than done when you're not really sure what exactly it is you want, or how to go about it. I really loved this exploration of a misalignment in sexual experience, the resulting cross purpose conversation, and the non-judgemental openhearted hand extended in order to find your way together. Or 'two 30-something men inexplicably put through an episode of Sex Education.' Sympathetic, sweet, and funny too.

But God, I love the English by @starlingbite this au tickled me for the sole reason of having watched several seasons of the show before someone told me Oliver is from London, and not having picked up on that accent slippage despite ALSO BEING FROM LONDON. Chimney and a British Buck take part in a six week cultural exchange programme with Chim going to London to stay with Maddie and work at a fire station, whilst Buck joins the 118 in LA. Eddie is instantly besotted by the handsome stranger, and fun linguistic hijinks aside, Buck fits right in. How will they manage long distance when it's time for him to go home? So much fun, and with sweet background Madney too!

it's leading me on, every time we touch by @bisexualbellamyblake in which after Eddie mentions to the team that he's having a little back trouble, Maddie lets slip that Buck once trained to be a massage therapist during his career jumping youth! As an almost certified professional of course it wouldn't be like Buck to not offer his services. And Eddie has no reason to turn him down. Does he? This oozed with sexual tension, whilst also being really lovely moment of friends getting to know each other better. Really excellent character voice and internal dialogue from Eddie.

all of the girls you loved before by @wildehacked back again with yet another banger...literally. Let me tell you, I read this one on public transport and had to school my expression with all my decades of fic reading experience in full force. Dragged out to team drinks on their evening off, the tipsy conversation turns to the team's top sexual experiences. When Buck finds out Eddie's is from years before, he can't help but dwell on just exactly how he could fix that. And he finds narrowing down his own top five a little tricky. With flashback cameos from Abby, Taylor and Tommy, this 5+1 fic was hot as hell.

P.S. Insert plea for Madney and Henren friendship/extended family fic here...I think I'm gonna need it! As usual feel free to self rec! And please share and reblog :) See you next week.

[docholligay]

A relevant question was asked by @tallangrycockatiel about my love of Interview With the Vampire: "Um, why are you into something that is all about dudes, all the time? Is this us not being a bitch's bitch?" Only, she is English so she said it in a more polite, suggested sort of way.

A very fair question! It is extremely true that, by and large, a thing with men only is less interesting to me by far and it takes a lot more for me to get into it. But she was not put off by this, for she had developed a theory:

My two initial theories are that either it hit you early enough that that hadn't become such a strong preference, or that it has something to do with the fact that despite being 95% men the entire cast seems to be having what I can only describe as dyke drama the entire time.

She both knows me and is smart, so there we are. The answer is basically: YES.

I started reading the Vampire Chronicles when I was something around 13, and so I didn't really have an idea that it was kind of fucked up that men we treated as the only default interesting people on earth. I pretty much took it as an implicit truth, where I never would have SAID that, but, I was very much in what can only be described as a 'masculinity k-hole' where of course I wanted to be a 'tomboy' and the only way for a girl to be tough and cool was if she was 'just like a boy' and this whole idea that men and masculinity were superior vomit vomit vomit whatever I am perfectly capable of beating someone's ass in red lipstick but that line of thinking did not occur to me at the time.

So I had NO sensitivity to the idea that stories whose ENTIRE UNIVERSES centered around men might be even, annoying. Anne Rice straight up does not care about or like women, and it is absolutely reflected in the way she writes her female characters. I cannot IMAGINE someone reading these as a fully grown adult who thinks women are neat, actually, and not coming away going, "My god, what is happening in these books?" But when you grow up with something, it changes with you, and the ways you think of it aren't COMING from adult you, they are, at least in part, coming from YOUNG you. And, in much the same way A Song of Ice and Fire, which I read at a similar time, gave me what I wanted from fantasy and wasn't getting, this did as well. I did not know that it would have been what is now called urban fantasy, and I didn't know that was a thing I liked (I very much know that now) all I knew was, I liked it. It was batshit and felt dangerous and it was unhinged and very gothic, though, again, not a way I could have expressed it.

So I'm carrying all that --I'll say baggage even though that has a negative connotation--when I come to the work. I already pre-like it.

This can of course backfire, but it didn't, so, I'm not gonna get into that.

NUMBER TWO: The 'all dudes' thing is not insurmountable. It's a quality issue. I love Dan Simmons' work and his women are basically nonexistent. There are plenty of things I like that don't center women. But, the bar to entry is MUCH higher. I would never in my life willingly watch something like "sailor moon but boys though."

What Interview has, that I love, is a very rare thing: Well written, EXPLICITLY gay, and everyone is fucking terrible. It is an adult show for grown-ass adults where people fuck and murder and abuse each other. Armand is the physical manifestation of gaslight gatekeep girlboss. Louis rewrites an entire personal history to make himself look better and emotionally manipulates everyone he comes into contact with. Lestat is a hot tempered, vain dilettante who does shit without thinking and then has the audacity to go, "Oh no, the quencies!" Everyone sucks, everyone is abusive in one way or another, all the fucking exes overlap, and I LOVE IT. Anyone looking for a hero or victim is watching the wrong fucking show and I am SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I'll close with my response when we were talking about how fucking great Sarah Waters is, in relation to the above:

it took me forever to realize that I didn't actually want recommendations for lesbian fic, what I was actually asking is: So who is doing it like Sarah Waters? Which unfortunately is no one. The woman is my own personal oasis in the desert.

And God, it has taken me YEARS to convince people that I care so much less about whether or not something is gay than if it is GOOD. Does it say something TRUE, you know? Is it messy? Is it sometimes uncomfortable? I would fucking LOVE if it could be gay on top of these things, but I'll real here:

l'll read a good straight thing versus a bad and especially a fluffy gay thing

I LOVE that shit like REd, White and Royal Blue or coffee shop Aus or whatever exist for people who want them, but I am out for blood ahaha

I have a happy, boring, domestic gay life, i do not need to imagine what a life where your biggest argument is about the quantity and variety of fucking breakfast cereal (We have EIGHT. BOXES.)

[crime-wives]

ouat 1x01 thoughts

god regina, you dramatic bitch. “I shall destroy your happiness if it is the last thing I do” ok darling, you can destroy me if you’d like

henry is so small, his tiny cheeks awww

not to be gay but… emma swan in the pink dress. fuck. i forgot how attracted to her i was. and the HAIR, the fucking princess curls. jesus christ her ARMS.

“bail bonds-person” i love her

yesss bitch, strut across the street like you own it. absolute icon behavior, slamming that asshole’s face into the steering wheel.

babe you’re so sad and pathetic with your vanilla cupcake. i bet she wished for family.

not her apartment door saying ‘cast a spell’

“My name’s Henry, and i’m your son” agevgsvegw STOP

her having a panic attack in the bathroom, so real.

once again, her ARMS, i want her so bad

henry’s cute little freckles, i can’t do this.

idgaf abt snow and charming “She poisoned an apple because she thought I was prettier than her” shut up bitch, you know that’s not why

“Oh kid, you’ve got problems” emma swan, insulting children since 1983

ok but the fact that they chose the name ‘emma’ in a fairytale world, lmao

evil queen theme song playing as they enter storybrooke

emma swan wearing the most dyke outfit possible. getting ready to impress milfs

not that there’s any significance, but emma’s license plate is: 836•M4X

snow and charming are so annoying istg

ewww the blue fairy, i hate that bitch (derogatory)

regina running towards henry and wrapping him up in a hug. her eyes are wet. good lord, her first reaction is concern and worry, not anger.

“I found my real mom” my HEART. her face after he said that, so stricken and hurt, baby…

emma’s little flustered, ‘hi’ when talking to a gorgeous milf. ok babe, we get it, you’re gay.

graham leaving bc of emma and regina’s immediate sexual tension. and regina’s eyes roving over emma.

first ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at exactly 21:00 minutes.

emma swan is so desperate to impress regina. it’d be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic (affectionate)

“Sneaky bastard” once again, emma swan insulting children since 1983

crashing into the storybrooke sign like the absolute icon she is

the cgi 💀💀

yay!! curse time :)

emma waking up in a jail cell. she just does not give a fuck about this shit.

her lips parting when she she’s regina, ok babe, she’s hot we get it

LIP SCAR

god mary-margaret pisses me off

go regina, knock over mary-margaret’s shit, absolute queen

“She’s kinda a hardass” yes but that turns you on, doesn’t it?

gina’s so hot when she’s evil

putting a newborn through the wardrobe to save themselves, a+ parenting

henry mills, once again, the most mature one in a situation “You don’t have to be hostile. You like me, I can tell. You’re just pushing me away because I make you feel guilty.”

“I wanted you to have your best chance. But it’s not with me. C’mon, let’s go.” go emma! be the mature adult i know you can be

petition to get emma swan a therapist so she can deal with all her issues (trust me, she’s got a lot of them)

“Look, your mom is trying her best. I know it’s hard, and I know sometimes you think she doesn’t love you, but at least she wants you.” emma swan, standing up for regina mills since the moment they met

mmm regina’s voice is so hot.

her unhinged laughter, i love her so much

“Where are we going?” “Somewhere horrible, absolutely horrible” takes them to maine

emma swan is so fucking desperate for regina’s approval. she wished to not be alone on her birthday, baby…

second ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at 38:43 (i will be keeping count of all of them :D)

regina fidgeting with her blazer pockets, she’s so anxious

first “He’s my son” at 39:01 minutes

“I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do” babe, it’s kinda gay to have a nemesis, just saying

third ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at 39:32

baby… gina is coming apart at the seems

god, not to be gay, but regina’s HANDS at 40:27 agevvegse

emma’s only staying because of regina’s provocations. she wouldn’t have stayed for henry.

gold is so icky.

she’s staying a *only* a week, sure babe, sure.

also side note, i forgot how good the coloring was in ouat. like its very faded, maybe indicative of storybrooke being stuck in the past???

[blacklegsanjiii]

More random ships with our beautiful queen Sora -> Hancock x Sora, Makino x Sora, Corazon x Sora

Hancock and Sora propaly has a age gap like Mihawk x Boa, but hear me out: I hc that Sora had Reiju when she was between 19-22, so makes her having the 1234ji with 22-25, and when Sanji and her are saved by a eighteen Boa, she would have 30-33, more pra less the same age as Mihawk (and also, the DYNAMIC!)

Makino x Sora? Perfect. Sora ran away from Germa with Sanji and stop at Dawn to hide, Sanji finds the ASL+Makino while he is stealing some food and they go help him and his mother (bc Makino is worried about the boy). So both womens just start to live near in case Sora needs help and thry fall in love <3

Corazon x Sora? Pair of sweet blondes who LOVES their children. Sora run away with Sanji and finds Cora (who is with Law) decides to help them and end up falling in love with her. Later on he almost dies bc of Doflamingo but survives and lives with his wife in a small island.

GOD DAMMIT THESE ARE LIT AF!!!!!!!

Okay so Hancock x Sora. They are saved and brought to lesbian island. Sora has gotta be teasing Boa like Mihawk does but she makes good on her promises and absolutely flusters Boa. Boa absolutely claims Sanji as her baby as well again and they're a happy little family. Boa using her royal status to spoil them but this is the SASSIEST family. If Boa is still swooning for Luffy, Sora HAS to be looking at her wife with the most unimpressed look. When Boa comes back and whines to her wife their kid is dating Luffy and Sora has to remind her that age gaps can be weird and the way she was doing it was making it weird. Boa looks at her with confusion and Sora explains that Boa flirted with her first. They are absolutely those lesbians that uhaul'd and then got married, and grew old together, they are THE dykes of the pirating world. They have to have the best sex life too tbh.

Makino x Sora. Could you also imagine if this when Shanks is there? Like Luffy and Makino find this Sanji stealing food and then finds Sora after the second or third time. Shanks somehow hasn't lost his arm yet but absolutely plays THE WORST wingman to those women. Sora is somehow the biggest help to Luffy after he eats the devil fruit and then Shanks loses his arm and leaves. Makino and Sora are doing their best to mother these kids but then Luffy disappears and comes back with more??? In the interim the women have gotten together. Sabo knows the queen of Germa when he sees her because he's been to several Reveries but Sora tells him it's a secret or they will all die. She's not even joking and then pats Sabo on the head. When ASL see her kiss Makino for the first time they ask Sanji about it and he's like 'idk, she's better than my dad' which Ace says Makino is better than his dad too.

Sora x Corazon. This man and his lead poisoned son find Sora and Sanji, her sick and dying as well and Sanji starved and matted. Fuck it, they could all band together and survive. Right? Right. They're traveling and Law is getting sicker and Sora is plateaued in her illness so that's probably a good thing. Cora is carrying both of them as Sanji follows as fast as his little legs will carry him. They bond over the kids and the kids bond over death. Listen, their fucked up, all of them. They save Law and Corazon from Doflamingo and death. Sora manages to stop the bleeding and asks where the boys are. So when he is propped and set to live and hidden somewhere she goes and finds the boys. They settle on an island until the boys set off, even if they don't think Sanji is quite old enough to be a pirate. It's fine, Law keeps Sanji on ship duties only until he's like fifteen and now he's Law's left hand. Cora and Sora(fuck i love that) display their sons proudly and the kids hang new photos their parents send them regularly. Cora is usually holding his much smaller wife with a cigarette in his mouth while on fire and Sora smiling widely while dumping water on her husband's flaming coat.

[snowangeldotmp3]

mean girls (2024)

fine. FINE. it is time to discuss mean girls (2024) bc i can't stop thinking about it and i had a severe mean girls the musical phase in 2018 and 2020 two separate times. and also i took notes watching the movie last night. so now you are all subject to hearing them. spoilers, obvi. (under the cut, of course)

i think it should be noted here that i also have Thoughts and Feelings on the bway musical. so if anyone wants to know those... moving on.

it's a movie-musical adapted from the stage musical adapted from the 2004 movie adapted from a BOOK called Queen Bees and Wannabes released in 2002. now that that's out of the way:

the good:

the sets are so much fun in the movie. the musical is like. a few desks and tables and a bed that all move and then. screens. i missed real sets. so much

opening the musical with janis and damien recording the video in the garage and having their narration work like that worked sooooo well. and then of course ending in the garage was very fun.

speaking of janis and damien, these are my favorite versions of janis and damien. auli'i and jaquel KILL IT as janis and damien.

angourie's cady (acting-wise) is really good. really cute and naïve and it feels authentic as a transition from new kid cady to plastic cady.

i also don't mind the changes to apex predator. i think auli'i and jaquel killed it and i think it works! i like the choreo too where everyone is acting animalistic (re: this is Girl World in the og movie) except regina.

avantika and bebe wood are also really great as gretchen and karen. this might be my favorite version of karen. ily karen shetty.

LOVE this version of someone gets hurt. i love regina controlling the atmospehere around her and literally becoming the apex predator. the partygoers don't move unless she allows it, and even planning cady's reaction (which is. gayer than expected) is so good.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE? i prefer the story behind the pyro-lez thing. i never liked the space dyke story in the musical and i thought it was weird (though i prefer them calling her a space dyke because it's supposed to be mean. ya know)

im saving this for this bullet point bc every other bullet point would've been about but i've been a fan of renee's regina for forever now, so being able to see it outside of broadway and outside of shaky bootlegs is a blessing.

after regina eats shit at the talent show, during the social media montage, you can briefly hear the intrumental version of world burn, and i think thats cool.

SOMEONE GETS HURT (REPRISE) you will always be famous. i am so sorry they didn't put you on the soundtrack

damien on the jazzy will forever be funny. it's better than the og movie. i will stand by this.

also the background/looming beat of world burn like a second after janis gets done singing + the looming threat of regina's revenge is very cool.

OH world burn is very awesome in this bc. duh. of course it is. but what really stands out to me is that it's like apex predator again where everyone is acting like animals and reginas above it all (bc she did this lmao). another thing is the transition between one of the high notes to regina fake crying in mr duvalls office. that was so slay.

the reginald joke is my fave in the whole musical and im so glad they kept it. it makes me giggle every time.

canon lesbian janis imi'ike i love you.

the bad:

i miss all of the songs. give me back It Roars, Where Do You Belong, the entirety of Meet the Plastics, the What's Wrong with Me reprise, FEARLESS! and Whose House is This, More is Better, and Do This Thing!! GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!!! PLEASE!!! OH my god and Stop. jaquel would've blown this out of the water i just know it.

i miss the jokes about mrs george and her boob job. that shit was hilarious.

i don't care for cady's pov in revenge party in this one. those who have seen it Know.

i also miss the "NO! THEY'RE BOTH IN THE COSTUME!" that shit killed me. absolutely hilarious.

the musical (bway edition) actually did cut some of the iconic scenes from the movie, but i think this movie would've benefitted from adding them back in. give me the "we should totally just stab caesar!" line.

i hate Rockin Around The Pole. so fucking much. i hate it in the broadway version and i hated it in this. i hate this song so fucking much.

chris briney. that's all. he's got about as much personality as a wet piece of paper. get a different aaron.

even the broadway musical is like, actually mean. it still pales in comparison to the og movie. this movie could have done a little more to stand out from the actual musical and the og movie. idk. it could've said something. but if you walked into this movie and expected it to say something then that's on you. sorry.

this isn't something that needs to be categorized but i miss cady's inner monologue. it's very obvious in the movie but she's even got these cute little asides in the musical that i WISH they would've kept. like: "it seems kinda bad to spy on someone, but they're the first friends i've got, and i don't want to have none." is so much fun and gives cady so much character and i love it so much. erika henningsen is my favorite variation of cady. she's believable as both nerdy cady and plastic cady. also she's so, so funny. (honestly i think they should've brought her back for cady's songs in this musical. sawry. i don't think they should've replaced angourie bc i really like her cady But.)

another cute and quirky thing that i like from the musical that isn't in the movie (because it would be really hard to pull off) is that mrs heron/mrs george/mrs norbury are all played by the same actress.

anyway that's all i have to say about mean girls (2024). in my (completely unprofessional) opinion, they should've literally just adapted the actual musical script if they wanted to make this so bad. or released a pro-shot with renee as regina and this cast or something. they should've gone all out campy musical with this one instead of trying to market it as a remake bc it's not Really a remake. like it Is but it's Not.

if u read this whole thing thank you. if you saw this post and went "jesus christ" im sorry. i wish i could stop thinking about it, too.

[quillkiller]

yes

jegulus sucks and marylily is unbearably boring yall will feminize all male characters but are terrified of butch lesbians and by butch i do not fucking mean boyfriend jeans and baggy shirts i mean butch dykes and also this top dom alpha james is weird as all fucking hell and honestly and maryjames is better than jily and lesbian regulus is The regulus and lily should cheat on james in any universe also james/the sun is so fucking boring i swear to god like i love my optimistic little boy as much as the next person but like imagine if he had some duality to his characterization also walburga is not the fucking villain like yeah there’s no excuse for her abuse but she is not The Culprit like bro this is the 70s she did not have a lot of choice in her life and probably not in who she married and her abuse is allowed because her husband allows it (still not an excuse) and i cannot fathom how an outright abusive mother frightens people more than the patriarchal system that sits back and allows it lilyrosekiller is a great ship and i especially love it for lily and if i ever see remus lupin called a casanova ever again i will simply kill myself like it almost borders on ableism ??? like it just feels like people project that ono him BECAUSE of his disadvantages in a weird attempt to be inclusive like even if he is hot (and i believe he is) hes still a wet blanket that wouldnt believe that about himself and if he was a SLUT (which im not opposed to) it would not be because hes a casanova who can bag anyone it would be because hes a slag for any sort of attention and also reg in jegulus almost always feels like a self insert and gives him no character hmmmmmmmmmm tiktok has the absolute worst characterization of pandora

[casketears]

edits that i would have made to riverdale if they'd known to hire me

more explicit hiram/archie/veronica. now i know what you must be thinking: how the fuck could it get more explicit than what was already shown, especially since archie is the flavor of oblivious gay that would mean he'd likely shirk any form of homosexual contact with a confused smile and an aha, whoa, did you– did i– no, im straight. yeah. but all the same i'd have liked some more sensual solo scenes with him and hiram. his deteriorated half disinterest in his relationship with veronica in favor of his growing obsession with her dad is good but not perfect. i want them to get touchier and weirder about it. and i want veronica to also get in on it

cheryl as an insane quasi incestuous straight woman. i have never seen a less convincing dyke than as portrayed by madelaine petsch, and i have never seen her have more chemistry with anyone than when she was either a) obsessing over jason, b) using archie as a romantic projection of jason or c) straight up romancing archie in season 7. it's actually absurd. also cheryl is fucking crazy in a commandeering action seeking sort of manner and archie is the ultimate orders boy so you can imagine what a red-haired power couple the two of them could have been. archie go die in my mines yes honey <3

if cheryl had to be a lesbian then at least let her be involved with donna sweett from season 3. no meaningful thoughts here i just think they could have enjoyed each other's weird mind games, writing/painting foils, and overall gothic aesthetics. and i bet donna wouldn't have been so lame about the whole taxidermied twin in the basement thing

more explicit hiram/reggie/veronica. here i do actually mean explicit. i want that boy passed between the two of them like a rebound blunt. i want him spitroasted by the narrative.

speaking of which reggie and archie should have at least made out in season 7 and it's actually preposterous they didn't. i never knew a gay man (the show creator) within a cast of gay characters could queerbait like that.

in the jughead paradox i would have loved to see a taste of the flavor of insanity that would have befallen jason if the roles were reversed and cheryl had been the one to die way back in episode 1. i think about this roleswap a normal amount

more ethel. thank fucking god season 7 gave her justice by letting her escape the narrative but i still wanted to know more about this dnd-obsessive horror artist weird girl (+ betty's arguable half sister)

i would have had reggie actually be groomed by that driving instructor (miss bella) in season 7 rather than have it be a red herring. more horrible parallels to archie etc. also i want him and veronica to stay in that awful toxic rebound-adjacent business partnership forever but that's just me

more on the season 7 mini jughead squad (dilton doiley, ben button, ethel muggs). they hinted at it and never delivered and it makes me lose my mind to think about

REMOVE THE PALLADIUM PLOTLINE. I HAVE NEVER CARED LESS ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE THAN THAT ROCK.

more detective drake from season 5. she showed up told betty to leave her man and experiment with women and left without even kissing her. also her name sounds like dyke. i miss her so much and also every day.

musical episode ideas: dear evan hansen (smth related to covering a murder and jughead is evan and archie is jared and a gun is in my mouth), bare: a pop opera (featuring gay kevin), in trousers or hadestown (they could never pull either off but i'd love to see them try).

actually fuck it also more on eric jackson from season 5. preferably dating archie but i'm not picky.

ARCHIE SHOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY STAYED IN RIVERDALE IN THE EPILOGUE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LEFT HE LIVES AND BREATHES AND BLEEDS RIVERDALE HE WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY NEVER LEFT BY CHOICE OR FREE WILL HE HAS A WIFE AND TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN AND IS BURIED OUTSIDE OF POP'S.

kevin worse quality life. yes i just don't think he goes through enough. i think he should have been in an unhealthy sexual relationship with the devil after he turned him into a cop (percival pickens) (i know percival is technically not the devil but he's english anyway)

cheryl should have had a cannibalism moment that post on tumblr was right

i don't think i emphasized enough earlier how badly i want explicit hiram/reggie/veronica. specifically of a flavor where both the former and the latter are using him to fill an archie shaped hole in their heart while also as a weird incest divorce cope to get back at their respective daughter/father. if you think i had established my point well enough just remember it again with me because it could have been beautiful. i'd have dragged this out for half a season at minimum

more on peaches the background character peaches (she is very attractive).

a proper time loop episode

was about to say 'canonically bisexual betty' (<- has been a vocal supporter since day 1 when she kissed veronica) but then remembered this is actually true now and now i'm so happy i forgot most of the other qualms i was going to add on this list

non-sike deaf jughead

non-sike dead jughead

a jughead that kills himself and makes it everyone else's problem

[sonsband]

As Catiny’s main vocalist - who do you think has the spiciest vocals in kpop right meow?

How spicey do you mean?

(also if you like discussions of music I sometimes do those on my side blog changdyke and would love to talk about vocalists or music with people! okay shameless plug done)

Well, the spiciest vocals come from Changmin, who is a level 2 spicey boy at MOST. I mean, the 240105 Music Bank high note for "Down"? I don't know how half the boy groups didn't immediately vaporize as soon as he did That. I know it was probably just that he didn't hit the note at first, but he made it sound so good with that dissonance resolving into whistle register? (I would say something about Nissan Stadium Forever Love but until that's back up on YouTube I refuse to contemplate it so I don't burst into tears) But I'm a hater and don't like him so don't put him on the list.

EXID's Solji might not be active right meow, but she just did that musical so she counts!

Of course BTOB, Eunkwang and Minhyuk especially, I mean, "Boom" era was everything to me.

All of A.C.E, obviously, the world is a little brighter for their comeback. I can't wait for Donghun to absolutely devastate me again, but friendly reminder for your daily required viewing of their It's Live performance of "Goblin".

WayV's Xiaojun, I know Mujin Service is pitch corrected but the sheer emotion in "Ashes" is too much. He doesn't need to do as much as he does at all times, but thank god for it.

Does Forestella count as kpop? Because they've got the spice and the spicey vocals. All of them, but Woorim's wife was right to lock him down after that performance of "Bad Romance".

I might be ride or die for Seonghwa Main Vocal When, but back in like February 2021 I said San from Ateez strained a lot and he said "why would you say such a thing? btw hi lesbians" and just immediately went fuckin insane. I'm bummed it happened after they stopped actively promoting it but I will never shut up about how when he gets a mic for "Turbulence" he saves the whole song with that modulation to keep it from being a diminished fifth. I know he's a great dancer but he's vocal line for a reason. Watch "Breathe" btw.

SPEAKING OF "BREATHE"!!!! [edit: I got too excited to jump into IU that I forgot to finish this, sorry, I know it's a Lee Hi song] Lee Hi is that good good alto and the fact she had that voice at debut? We Love Altos.

IU!!!!! GIRL!!!!!!! No list of spiciest vocals would be complete without IU. "Love Poem" should be a UNESCO World Heritage piece of culture. I love her and I can't believe you're keeping her hostage and away from us, Addy.

Fun fact: DK is actually short for "DyKe rights" (editor's note: this is not true) and my sister will let me blast "Hot" in her car specifically so we can vocalize along with his chest voice there. He's got such a good ear.

The Boyz genuinely has some power vocals. Why do you think his name is SANGyeon? That video of him singing in a parking lot plays behind my eyes while I try to fall asleep.

Shownu simply does not get the credit he deserves as a vocalist. His voice is more subtle, so maybe not particularly spicey, but he's my husband and I will not let him go unappreciated on this list. What's the opposite of spicey? That's how I feel about I.M, except he's actually got interesting vocals, he's technically weaker but I think that makes him more interesting vocally. Plus he's the King of Vocal Fry (complimentary).

Another vocal fry master -- Taehyun from TXT. I feel so much about that kid. Most of it good.

For the hags, all of 2pm! (I'm not taking antipsychotics right now so I'm allowed to be delusional and they're active in my heart.) "Make It" was THE song of 2021, no notes at all. And "ADTOY" had no right to be that good. Also we love grown men being grown up spicey.

Woodz, don't talk to me about enlistment if I don't acknowledge it then it isn't happening. The live versions of "Chaser" and "Trigger" and "Accident" and and and and? I think his harmonizing gets overshadowed sometimes by his vocal power, especially since he has to harmonize with his backing track rather than another singer, but bro... bro... Also he was the closest to a Changmin "Mirotic" note, I will ignore any arguments to the contrary.

Red Velvet's Seulgi has really good vocals when she's given the chance to flex them, I really wish we could hear more from her. Underappreciated, tbh.

Highlight's Dongwoon, do we need to talk about that performance of "Fiction" again? Because I will talk about that performance of "Fiction" again. And I choose to believe his scene in "Good Luck" is part of the most watched section because of that little C# Major moment. Yeah his only other band mate Yeoseob is good but I gotta give the crown to Dongwoon. Also his outfits from last May's concerts were so spicey.

I'm so excited for Chungha's comeback. I know she's not really appreciated for her vocals since she's definitely a pop vocalist, but "Play"! I'm not even mad when she uses playback on music shows, she's in chest voice enough.

I can't believe I'm about to put a manlet on this list but Hui's got the spice. He's got the vocals. He deserves. That's all.

And how about Doyeon from Weki Meki. Siyeon from Dreamcatcher (omg that "Overdose" cover). Ailee, obviously. BB Girls Yujeong. Sistar just as a whole but especially Hyolyn, "Layin Low" changed me as a person and I swear it wasn't just the Nicole Kirkland choreo.

Okay I've just powered through so many Vocalists that my brain's been turned to mush. Tell me what else you think!

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, final round of bracket three

Propaganda:

For Gideon:

she's incredibly good w/ her two hander and less good with her rapier but she's still pretty good!! she is a horny lesbian who's taste in women seems to exclusively be "girls who have tried or are going to try to kill her". she's a redhead. i love her

Gideon’s a HUGE Butch lesbian and literally always wanted to use a broad sword. Specifically a broad sword. She said fuck rapiers. Uhhh literally dies to save the girl she cares for and the sword she uses then becomes like an altar for said girl. Gideon Nav Supremacy <3

oh she is the most badass swordswoman lesbian in media. she’s her gf’s cavalier, defends her in battle, she’s incredibly butch and buff

C'mon shes THE sword lesbian like... canonically 

Loves her broadsword more than anything on her home planet and practices whenever she can. Spoiler it’s possessed by her mom. Gave everything so her best enemy could eat her soul and become the new saint. The character of all time child of two separate threesomes, child of the god emperor, she’s dead, she’s butch, she’s a dork, she’s doomed by the narrative. She’s my favorite.

girlie is literally the swordswoman supreme. she’s the cavalier primary to her necromancer. she has a fuckoff huge longsword. she gets absorbed into another person SPECIFICALLY to swordfight for them. in a gay way too.

While everyone else was developing common sense, she studied the blade. This dyke's main weapon and true love is the long sword, but she's also passable with a rapier. The sword is, in her own estimation, pretty much all she's good for. That and her smoking hot bod and terribly charming sense of humor. 

"While we were developing common sense, she studied the blade." (Direct quote from the book). She's the most useless lesbian to ever exist, and she's obsessed with an absolute wet cat of a woman. Learned longsword mostly on her own and is such a genius with the sword she learned rapier in a few months (by personal experience, it's really really hard)

Most badass broadsword wielding lesbian easily slaying bone monsters and evil space wasps

The cavalier to her necromancer. very gay. in a complicated codependant lovehate relationship with the only other person her age she knew growing up.

For Adora:

Finding the sword kicks off the whole show. She transforms into a giant magic lady and is now in charge of saving everyone from the  big bag guys (which she used to be a part of). A bunch of stuff happens, but eventually her identity is now tied to having the sword. She is fully convinced that w/o the sword (and therefore She-Ra) she’s worthless. This culminates in having to destroy the sword or the world ends. She’s super depressed bc her whole self worth was tied to the sword and being she-ra. On the way to save her gf, she turns into way cooler she-ra (her own version of it that is not controlled by the sword which was made by her colonialist ancestors). Her sword is now part of her identity instead of her identity revolving around the sword. 

lesbian chosen one who was given a sword that activated her powers and made her into a living weapon, but she destroyed the sword to save her planet - and then made her own sword with her magic and saved the entire universe

[possibilistfanfiction]

(1/2) Yeah absolutely, I get what you mean with Ava just being blissed out by Beatrice. I guess I phrased it wrong, not necessarily about directly comparing B to a bro, but it's more like, I wonder if Ava - in the same way that Beatrice is allowed to explore her identity - if Ava allows herself be introspective and examine her own attraction and ~types, so to speak. But maybe it's not needed?

(2/2) Like is Ava in the gog so on the other side of identity acceptance that she can just be ~present with B and isn't really hung up on a needing to further explore herself within the relationship? Like that natural freedom she has to her helps her make peace with concepts comes to her much faster and more naturally than B? (Also thank u for ur time u legend)

ok i'm not Entirely sure what this is getting at but just to clarify a few things that i think it's asking:

1 ava's experience of/with queerness is profoundly different than bea's. i don't think that ava's ever struggled with being queer any more than she's struggled with not having the access to experience everything she wants. for ava, desire is so integral to her ability to experience what life is ('i want to live') without systemic, more than any, limitations, & so it makes sense that queerness would just be a part of how to fully access pleasure & want & love & safety. (there's so much more in here about how if ava had been given care & access then being disabled wouldn't have taken away any huge degree of pleasure from her life, but that's for another day! whew.) bea's experience with queerness is one of fear, of it being 'a flaw,' one that made her feel not valued, not worthy. so even just within their characters, i don't think that ava's exploration of queerness is internal so much as it is just... getting to feel the things that come along with love, especially queer love. bea's is allowing herself to be who she is, in whatever way that may be or look at the time. also, ava is white, & bea is Asian, & there's cultural & systemic harms that come along with intersections of identity (including ava's disability too, of course). so i think ava's queerness is an external exploration, in a way, & bea's is just like. letting herself feel anything at all, & then working for that to be positive.

2 listen... ava isn't on love island lmao.

she liked JC, maybe even loved him in a way, & then Fell IN LOVE with bea. even if she did have 'types' (which is like... beyond a little laugh, kind of weird in most cases), i really just do not fuck with the idea that masc of center women, especially butches & dykes, are in the same category as cis men. butches & dykes are like... god tier (so are femmes, y'all know i love u!). but like, even if ava DID have types, bea with short hair & a good pair of pants isn't anywhere close to JC in any categorization?? maybe if ava was like hmm soft butches?? hot.... bea, tasha cloud.... awesome. but bea & a boy. no. i think ava's 'type' is just people who show her patience & kindness & are funny & smart. beyond that, she's just glad she's hot & they're hot

3 there are so many ways — infinite ways!!!! — to be butch! & they're all beautiful & they're all hard to come to! i think i write abt bea's queerness bc a) i love writing abt being butch bc i love being butch lol; b) being butch is abt private decisions you have to make, all the fucking time! how do u want ppl to read you as a woman/dfab person who isn't a trans man but like... doesn't feel like a CIS WOMAN? do u feel safe to be masc? what does androgyny & masculinity look like TO YOU? butchness for me is actually so fucking soft, & wonderful. i don't picture (or write) bea as a stone or hard butch; there's a comfortable breath of an in-between there: cottons & linens & soft hair & clean skin, a big bed, a little mascara, the very rare suit but not often, & only for events. it's on purpose, bc i think ppl often have a p reductive view of masculinity & butchness, & femininity & femmeness, & all the gentleness that exists in being a dyke kind of gets lost. it's just... not femme. there are so, so many ways to be soft butch especially. & those are all decisions that have to be made all the time. like it is constant &, while having a partner who is truly just along for the ride is helpful, my wife being supportive of me hasn't made those decisions on my behalf. i have to make them, every day, every time i get dressed, every time i put on a watch or shoes, even just to like... go to the store. it rly is smth u are constantly figuring out, even without like hyper-homophobic parents fucking you up as a kiddo. so yeah, i think, if ava wants to try anything w appearance, bea wouldn't care at all, she would be just as happy. but like... the essence of being a dyke isn't abt appearance so much as it is everything, & aesthetic is just a way to reflect who you are. & i know i've written this, very clearly lol, but bea's queerness (& ava's, & anyone's) has absolutely nothing to do with who they date, or marry, or love, or fuck. being queer is a politic, an expression, a way of existing. being a dyke is those things in spades, with a very, very special orientation toward liberation throughout history.

4 w my life partner, & my friends, all i care about is that they're happy. like legit. are ur material needs met? do you feel loved by me? -- if those are both good strong yeses, then like... we are good. i cannot imagine loving my partner less if she wanted to do literally anything aesthetically other than maybe like... a giant face tattoo or something lol. but exploring expression? i would never feel less than proud or brave. do i have favorite stuff? of course! do i think my friends sometimes make decisions that are not the cutest possible? of course! so do it! bc i want to! bc i want to try. & so yeah, i don't think ava would ever think less of bea, & i don't think bea would ever think less of ava. it's not like, a lack of care abt being physically attracted to someone, it's like... u love that person, & their body is gorgeous. ava's disabled, too, so u know there is profound care that bea shows & has to grow into as that changes & shifts too!

anyway i still don't know what this was rly asking lol but... butches/dykes should not be in the same category as cis men at all ever lol; ava & bea are just horny & in love. rules of thumb

[aubreyathame]

ooh my god im so fuckinghappy im finally to the part in my yttd fic where nao goes fucking bonkers in canon i get to absolutely RUIN this dyke. i love her so much

its about to get so fucking fun

[scattered-winter]

in honor of s6 returning tomorrow, here's a collection of highlights from the 911 annotation doc feat. season 2 finale and tsunami arc (transcript below the cut)

hen sees a chance to make buck’s life living hell and she always takes it <3 older sibling behavior

chim: [hands buck a sledgehammer]

buck: >:D

I FORGOT [maddie] CAME INTO THIS EPISODE <33333

not to be dramatic but if my brother almost walked into the shower with me absolutely ass-cheeked naked i would simply require him to give me financial compensation

buck automatically assumes maddie is talking about eddie when she says someone’s cute

sir. buddy old pal.

press f to pay respects to the new ladder truck that lasts all of like 3 episodes before blowing up

these detectives are stupid as FUCK godbless <3

MADNEY

THEY’RE DISGUSTING. WHEN IS THE WEDDING <3

damn i wish it would rain money where i am rn

a guy comes falling onto a car out of a window and my first thought is “it’s raining men hallelujah”

EUEHHH ITS MAGGOT LADY ALSO

not the hair maggot lady. the other one.

the fact that i have to specify WHICH maggot lady it is. evil.

lmao i forget that. most 15 year olds dont have learner’s permits

i was driving farm equipment when i was 10 so im an outlier i guess

oh my god the hand on buck’s waist

homosexuals

[ID: a close-up screencap of eddie and buck hugging, with eddie's hand on buck's waist and buck's hands on eddie's shoulders. end ID]

do u see this shit mr krabs

[eddie] looks soooooooooooooo slutty in that white shirt oh my god

spiritual successor to the slutty black tank top

WOOOOOO HERE WEGO <333 MOST INSANE FEW EPISODES TO EVER GRACE NATIONAL TELEVISION <33333333333333333

i was a different person before watching the tsunami for the first time btw. after finishing this arc i was a Changed Man.

DO NONE OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT NO WATER MEANS. Y’ALL LIVE IN LA. YOU SHOULD KNOW.

WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING

GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE

GO GO GO GO GO GOG OG GO GOG OG GO GOG GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

ghlsdkjfskg this guy wanting A Sign … my brother you got a fucking tsunami

poseidon said Fuck this guy

fuck it

au where the greek gods are real

i mean we already know zeus has it out for buck and eddie

it aint much of a stretch <333

LENA <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

i think she and lucy should have met onscreen tbh

or maybe not because the sheer dyke energy would be too powerful for the show to handle

and yes i know this show has a canon lesbian couple. irrelevant <3

ghlskdjg buck’s look of absolute shock after eddie looks him in the eye and says That….bitch me too the fuck

MAN AND [athena] HAS TO AMPUTATE A GUY’S ARM….

major props to her because i could NOT do that

i’d simply say Sorry bro i just. yeah i have a uh. thing. with a guy. i gotta go. bye <3

ghslkdgj [chim] makes a quip as he’s pulling up <333 ofc he does <33333

i fucking love him btw. in case u couldnt tell.

“we’re gonna need a bigger mail truck” the way you just KNOW he’s seen jaws

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Rio for the character meme! I care her so much

RIOOO I CARE HER TOO

First impression: when I played her DL event I was like "aww Shark has a little sister!! I love that she uses an ice themed deck...." rly enjoyed her from the moment I saw her.

Impression now: GOD. RIO KASTLE. I LOVE HER TO BITS. AND ZEXAL HATES HER HAVING NARRATIVE AGENCY SO FUCKING BADLY this poor girl literally spends like 2/3s of the series fridged!! she's in the hospital like 4 times!!! when she duels she kicks absolute ASS and shes a fucking ALIEN DEMON with a GORGEOUS COLOR PALETTE and then whenever she does something zexal is like "ok well thats enough of that *kneecaps her*" IT'S SO SAD. LOVE ZEXAL TO BITS BUT THE YUGIOH WOMAN WRITING JUMPED OUT SO BAD.

Favorite moment: Technically it is a Marin/Merag Moment but that moment where she is just wailing on Vector's ass in their duel just rocks like absolute hell. Zexal art style looking just absolutely raw as hell the whole time. Absolute SEA MONSTER

and then she fucking loses and dies of course but. in that moment before. she whipped like absolute hell. As for a Specifically Rio Moment I do really like when she's properly introduced to the group and is just immediately kicking ass at every sport on campus. she's a JOCK!!!!

Idea for a story: HMM HMmm hmmm..... something more introspective with her...Zexal spends so much time focusing on Shark's Species Identity Crisis, but I wanna know how Rio was feeling about in her own right too. Cuz that's like...a Pretty big shakeup to get hit with, and she's even younger than Shark is. How is she coping with memories that simultaneously are hers and aren't hers. zexal tell me. tell me about rio. PLEASE.

Unpopular opinion: what are the unpopular rio opinions!! ummm hmm well i guess. if you're making Sexy Booby Art of her. i kind of want to attack you like a wild dog. that is is a MIDDLE SCHOOLER!!!!! also again it just sucks that in the grand scheme of the show she did Not get nearly enough screentime but that's barely an opinion that's just What the Text Came Like.

Favorite relationship: you know I gotta be stanning my YUGIOH SIBLINGS!! I do adore Rio and Shark's dynamic, they've really only had each other for so long in so many lifetimes and it's like... waahhh ;__; I do also like the like...multiple little moments of her hanging out with Dumon during the back half Barian-Earth Catastrophe.... you must understand they are both lesbians to me. Dyke vibing. (also when DL had Quattro apologize to Rio for everything during her event...oh my godddd reflecting on that one after meeting her in show properly got me SOOOO SOFT. I THINK THEY COULD BE FRIENDS.)

Favorite headcanon: THIS GIRL IS A JOCK!!! another member of the proud Yugioh Ice-Associated Lesbian Jocks (along with Alexis.) Also I feel liek she definitely has...some sort of implacable fear about deep water and pits where you can't see the bottom. Looking at them makes her a little queasy, a little anxious. Also borrowing this one from my pal but BURN SCARS!! i think she should have them...this poor girl got literally SET ON FIRE.

[fallout-lou-begas]

who would you say is your favorite wrestler? also please keep filling my dash with these big hot women wrestlers thank you

honestly i think it's kris statlander (which means there will be plenty of big hot woman posting). she's not even been medically cleared for in-ring activity the entire time i've started watching AEW but i've been going nuts on youtube and stream sites watching basically every statlander match that i can just because she's so strong and cool and fun and her movement is so expressive and a joy just to watch and her fits are to die for and on top of everything else her technique is just absolutely killer. i think if she so much as looked at me i would explode with a crunchy poor stock explosion effect, for dyke reasons. it's funny because it's like, i miss her but haven't even seen her live on television! i miss her without even knowing her! anguish. agony. i've also been watching a lot of thunder rosa matches just because she's the other really crucial wrestler out on indefinite injury leave and my god she's a blast. goes apeshit. again, just so much fun to watch; like statlander she just has that je ne sais quoi where she could be doing the most basic possible moves in the ring but it's still compelling because she's the one doing them, and she's just got it. this is probably just a form of confirmation bias but digging into the backlogs for these two wrestlers, it really does throw into relief how badly the women's division is limping with all the injuries. but maybe if kris wasn't doing the double-suplexes that made people fall in love with her, her knees wouldn't have exploded so it's like...man.

as far as wrestlers that are Actually Wrestling Right Now: i do love that jamie hayter and she's basically carrying the women's division of AEW singlehandedly on her shoulders rn because the whole outcasts thing is just foul but takes up so much oxygen; mox for his rabid desire to bleed and fluid-bond with every man who enters his field of vision; bandido is a lucha who i've only seen in the ring once, against bryan danielson, but who was AMAZING and i want to see him and his fucking execution-shot gesture running attack over and over; MJF for being literally perfect in every way as a champion heel to the point where i genuinely hope darby, sammy, and jungleboy all fail to take the title because i just think it would be a huge downgrade in entertainment value; samoa joe for being DA KING OF TELEVISION; stu grayson for being apeshit (and dark order in general is always such an entertaining stable); brian cage for being probably the epitome to me of the ferocious kind of Terminator heel who just destroys people, like the motherfucker looks like a miniboss in a batman video game; keith lee is a wrestler that i fell in love with basically immediately when he showed up to diss chris jericho and then i fell in double-love with him in the ring when he gave chris a fuckin polite little kissaroo on the forehead between blows.

honorable mentions go to Wardlow who i hated at first but who has sucked so much that he has endeared me. getting his car broken into. losing the title immediately. my ex-husband pointed out that he's a hired goon without a boss, like a stray cat, and it broke my little heart. the poor guy is acting out! he's troubled! there's also a lot of women wrestlers that i would love to see a lot more of like willow nightingale and nyla rose but either they're all wrestling on friday nights (i only really watch wednesdays) or the outcasts' feud with jamie hayter is really just burying opportunities for Literally Anything Else to happen in the women's division. jade cargill is an absolute beast but she has literally run out of people to fight so i hope taya valkyrie or something finally takes the belt away (as it's looking like) so that jade can do something else beside mulch regional guests. and yeah i think i do like britt baker as a wrestler, the dentist gimmick is good to me, she's good in the ring, and i know the legit feud with thunder rosa is messy and shitty but whatever, i like her matches (including THE hardcore cage match WITH thunder rosa pre-feud). honestly when rosa comes back, maybe they patch things up face-to-face or maybe they don't, but in either case i'm expecting a fucking barnburner of a grudge match that'll make the hardcore cage match look like a kindergarten classroom

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Hello i have read your entire collection of fics and i gotta say. Wow . what a Talent for the Grime. im not a 2doc girlie unfortunately but I've been softened. won over. I can now see 2doc and go "well that's very interesting. I wanna see where this author goes w it" instead of the general feeling of he would Not fucking say that. bc the truth isthat maybe he would . say those things he says in your fics etc. You understand. Most of all i have an appetite for grime and i have had it Saciated. i saved the plastic beach fics for the end bc i knew they'd be the ones id be more predisposed 2wards and while i was right i will say -> paula fic sweep. i love ms cracker she's such a cunt. as a dyke well all i can say is come 2 bed sweetheart your horrible mean gross standoffish attitude is wasted on a rockstar like stuart. I haven't read a hotter woman in a while Congrats. um but yeah also the plastic beach fics i left some comments bc oysters got to me Bad i never fully felt the impact of plastic beach from a murdoc perspective w such INCISIVENESS and POWER just the fucking spiraling horror of putting yourself in that position out of desperation and PRIDE??? god. GOD. and then the fic you have pinned. the fic that.made me check out your ao3. god . ive been in bad relationships that hurt me greatly and i had to keep seeing the.person. It was So cathartic. the mixing of 2ds identity w murdocs the enmeshment the. The

sorry 4.the.long ask im a little drunk but you HAVE to know you have got a NEW BIG FAN

i wanna see.more of your noodle and cyborg noodle :( noodlez mean so much 2me and 2d and noodle in seething coast got to me so fucking bad. russ' small role also got me weeping but not as much as 2d and bday girl noodle ending did. your 2d is perhaps the most interesting read ive seen on the character so far .

This message brought so much joy to my night, as did your comments on AO3! I apologize for my lateness; I absolutely intend to respond to them over there (as far as my intentions go for the foreseeable future I will always respond to comments or asks, so long as anyone is kind enough to stop by! It just takes a few days sometimes, whoops) but I'm so enchanted by the ephemeral nature of the drunk message, I've got to let you know I've seen it, haha.

I love the sentence "unfortunately, I am not a 2Doc girlie" as it feels quite backwards from the other side of it. I would say, being someone who has written exclusively 2Doc stories for their fanfiction career and runs a bizarrely devoted 2Doc blog years longer than they ought to have, being a 2Doc girlie is an unfortunate thing to be. I wouldn't blame you having apprehensions! If you can believe it, when I got into Gorillaz I would avoid the shipping element altogether and skip past any 2Doc that popped up along my way; I also felt a sense of... neutrality to profound disinterest toward it, and had things gone differently after I may have bowed out without any lasting words exchanged and moved forward along the fandom line, as so many do. I felt some sense of shame, I think, to admit I was reshaping the characters by my own wants, but I accept now that this is what Gorillaz fandom is; the nearer to canon one can go in tone, the better, but there's a point where the road forks (splinters into four forks, and four more further down, really) and for the sake of your own stability and consistency, you have to make a decision about that character's path. Anyway, sorry, I'm rambling! Hopefully that doesn't bore you to tears, but your message made me think about it all again, and I enjoy doing so!

Thank you for reading everything, good gravy, it's a tall order and I'm just-- I am beyond flattered. I am beyond humbled. I am moderately embarrassed by some of the early writing, but I'm incredibly touched nonetheless. I am especially grateful for Paula to make her way into a loving home, biting and spitting all the way. Stuart is not and will never be equipped for the job. ("It's rotten work, especially if it's you," only Paula's not asking him to do it and she's sure as shit not offering it in return. God, I love that woman.)

Thank you. I don't know if it's too sappy and too sincere to say, but I think we grow in sincerity, I think we are emotionally and mentally fed by honesty even to a degree of discomfort, and so I swallow that embarrassment and say... you naming those stories, sharing your thoughts, sharing with me a connection and a sense of caring for Oysters, Ampersands, Seething Coast-- the stories that I cared most for, stories that drew the most from myself even when I tried to obscure it, stories that still sit close to the breast-- that is special. That really means more to me than a comical reply can express. I'm really glad that these scenes meant something to you and that they get to live in another person. That's the horror and the prize of writing, it's the thing you dread doing wrong and losing in the void; but to hear months or years later that it's found someone, and they felt something for it, and they're not embarrassed for you that you've stumbled through making something like this from these characters, that's all you can dream of. That's everything. It matters very much. I can't say I have anything new on the horizon for Noodle (...and I can't say what I have done in the past few months is anywhere near cresting the horizon) but this message gets my heart thu-thumping and has me mulling her over. Maybe one day we can revisit the mess again. If you'd like to listen, this song always makes me think of Stu and Noodle, specifically on that illusion of solid ground in the years after Plastic Beach. I listened to it sometimes to get in the mood to write them.