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the-ultimate-pie-family · 1 year

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Loona revenge on the devil part 1

Satan: *takes control over surprise* u fuckin bitch how dare u insult me i brought u here to help u get back on ur feet and this is how u repay by insult me and question my power

Loona: suck my big fat dildo u don't scare me satan u never did and i have been improving u just haven't noticed u fuckin stubborn fallen angel

*satan then got really pissed stabbing her squeezing her heart setting her on fire saying*

Satan: then suffer on the surface u fuckin cunt *satan threw loona firey body to the surface*

*loona coughed up burnt blood her fur was burnt off and her skin was too a crisp she then said*

Loona: mark my words satan I'll get my revenge MARK my *her heart collapsed from getting squeezed too hard she fainted but beraly alive*

*many different bird and predator feasted on loona crispy body then a horrifying pony carried her back to his castle hours passed till loona woke up in a bed*

Loona: *she looked around slowly sitting up* a bed? How is this possible? I don't hurt my fur my skin it's? Back *shes ran to the mirror shocked that she could walk* how is this possible? Everything is back? Dah im naked!..... *she heard a door open covering up with a sheet ready to pounce she then pounced on a kid ready to attack* huh ur a kid?...... *gets off the mare and step back*

Rave: dad she's awake *she turn to loona* ur really lucky my dad found u loona

Blood: *teleports with a tray of breckfast food placing it on the nightstand* rave leave plz i need to talk to loona

Rave: *walks out closing the door*

Loona: *stays covered with the sheet looking at the food* why am i here? who r u?

Blood: names blood and i must say this here's ur clothes back i washed them for u

Loona: *blushes thinking he did something to her body* wat u do to me? My body it's

Blood: like new huh thank god for that but *he used his magic to fix loona hair by braiding it* their whole new look

Loona: *stares at the food as her stomach growled* may i then if ur not gonna kill me?

Blood: u may eat but when ur get dressed and come downstairs

Loona: ....... wait sir uh this may sound stupid but got any pain killers?

Blood: *he stood there shocked* uh yeah this is a new one i been working on enjoy loona *he place the pill on her night stand* i wouldn't do it it's still a prototype

Loona: i can handle it sir

Blood: hmm and the name is blood *he walked out closing the door going downstairs*

Loona: *she crushed the pill into dust making one big line of it* wow that's a big line oh well *shes snorted the whole line whipping her nose* shouldn't take long to take affect *she got dressed but started to get hot* hmm weird? It's nothing tho *she walked downstairs seeing it just blood there by himself* ur alone? Why?

Blood: my kids r at school im usually alone every morning

Loona: oh got any coffee?

Blood: coffee pot loona

Loona: thanks blood *she walked to the coffee pot grabbing the best dad ever cup by accident as she pour the coffee in the cup she started to feel extremely hot* *oh god is it my heat acting up?....* *she tries fanning herself off but it not working she started to get wet down their trying to control it but it's not working* b-blood?

Blood: huh *he was sipping his blood coffee turning his head to loona seeing her fucking her* wat the fuck?! *blushed red* loona u ok?.......

Loona: plz pleasure me blood plz im in heat i-i don't know wat happening my heat is out of control *she rubbed her pussy till she squirted onto the floor and a little on blood*

Blood: *he turned a deep blood red teleporting them to her room* u need to rest loona

Lonna: no need that cock of urs so pleasure me now

Blood *he stood there sighing* fine *he went to loona pussy starting to eat her out*

Loona: *she started to moan softly enjoying herself* mmmm k-keep go-oing and u be-etter fuck me with that c-cock of urs too *she moaned loudly squirting again screaming in pleasure* plz blood fuck me now I-I'm ready *she squirted a little more begging blood to fuck her*

Blood: *he insisted his cock in loona pussy thrusting in and out slowly*

Loona: f-faster damnit i want to be able not to move now shake those hips

*blood thrusted faster into loona pussy pounding into her hard loona screamed in pleasure moaning squirting multiple times loona mind started to fade all she could remember the pounding has stopped then she started to feel his cock in her mouth she sucked until he came she shalldowed everything like a good girl then she passed out*

*next day*

Loona: *wakes up sitting up looking around* blood? *she looked down seeing a mess he and she made last night* oh my god we did it......

*Blood came in to talk to loona*

Blood: how r u miss loona?

Loona: *she blushed* f-fine and sorry about last night

Blood: as long u enjoyed it i was happy to help u but now for the plan to get ur revenge on my brother

Loona: ur brother? *she thinked for a second* wait satan is ur brother?

Blood: yes now the plan i was thinking we sneak into hell unseen and assassin my brother

Loona: sorry blood satan is mine *she got up getting dressed with new clothes on but she then remembered he helped her with her heat problem she sighed* ok u can help me but we go by my rules got it?

Blood: as u wish loona wats the plan then?

Loona: i don't have one

Blood: eh? Uhm ok r we winging it then?

Loona: i guess but how do we get to hell

Blood: my magic

Loona: *shes looked at blood laughing* u can't do magic *shes then got slapped hard on her flank as she moaned softly* ok ok u-u have m-magic *she blushed blasting blood hard breaking her paw she then got sick from wat she did to bloods jaw*

*as loona was vomiting in a trash can blood healed her paw stitching his jaw back on*

Blood: ur an idiot sometimes

Loona: then think before slapping my ass u-u

Blood: freak?

Loona: *she growled but couldn't be mad at him because he saved her life and she knows she can never repay him for that* ......... it's fine just don't do it unless i say u can ok?

Blood: *he giggled* u r bossy miss loona heheh

Loona: stop giggling im serious *looks at the collar around bloods neck* hmmm

Blood: hey staring is rude u know

Loona: the collar and why

Blood: ........sorry miss loona that's personal

Loona: hmm?....... ok can we fight now?

Blood: finally i been waiting for ur orders *he used his holy magic to summon a portal to hell*

*when blood and loona jumped threw the portal satan was waiting for her but not his own brother*

Satan: so u teamed up with loona huh brother too bad I'll have to kill u both rip them apart *he walked away*

*the demons of hell started attacking loona and blood*

Blood: *pulses the demons back summoning a keyblade* jump loona now *he threw the keyblade in the air*

Loona: *runs jumping grabbing the keyblade getting thrown by blood to satan*

Satan: huh? *he turned around getting stabbed by loona keyblade*

Loona: *shes twists the keyblade deeper into satan not holding back her rage* this is for everything u said to me *she then kick satan to the ground stabbing the keyblade into his opened wound going threw the ground trapping him their* and that's for setting me on fire *she then broke all his limbs* that's leaving me for dead and most importantly *shes stomped on satans skull crashing it brains going everywhere* that's for ripping my heart out *she then collapsed knowing she got her revenge and her body can finally rest in pease*

*days went by not knowing she was brought back to life with a new heart inside her*

Loona: *she slowly woke up seeing kids around her* huh??....... *she tried moving hearing a door open* h-helllo?

Blood: kids time to woke up loona is up now

*bloods kids ran out going outside to play*

Loona: *sits up* is he really dead??

Blood: *nods* yes he's dead u did it *he smiled hugging her* now how about some food miss loona?

Loona: *she smiled and nodded on the food* yes blood I'd like that

Blood: when ur ready come downstairs *he teleported downstairs*

Loona: *she looked down knowing she should've died in hell but she felt her heart beat again she started crying of joy* damn u blood...... *she went downstairs seeing blood and his mom pinkie pie*

Pinkie: hi sleepy beauty so glad u could make it

Loona: thank u miss pie *she sat down at the table beside blood* thank u blood for everything

Blood: ur fine loona *he sipped his blood coffee patting her head scratching her ears*

Loona: *her foot stomped on the floor enjoying it* ooooh yeah thats the spot mmmmmm

Tags for @askloonablog

#Spotify #the ultimate pie family #ponyville #mlp #blood #loona

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crguang · 3 years

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OMGGG I LOVED YOUR AJAK HEADCANNON IT WAS INCREDIBLE. COULD YOU PLEASE WRITE SOME THING WHERE READER IS LIKE GOD AWFUL IN THE KITCHEN ,LIKE SATAN IS CACKLING IN THE CORNER, LIKE THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE AND GOD IS DEAD BAD AND AJAK IS TRYING TO TEACH THEM HOW TO COOK.

hope i did ur request justice, me and the reader are the same 🤞🏾

XxX

Ajak was always the one dealing with the cooking, because she loved to, sure, but also you could not cook to save your life. You could barely make noodles without them tasting like plastic, it was kind of embarrassing. Ajak has been so good to you, though, so kind and patient and loving, you wanted to surprise her with a token of your love as well. Since she loved food, you decided to give it a try before she would come back from her daily horse ride through the vast plains that surrounded the house. She enjoyed the fresh air and the quiet, as well as the quality time with her horse (you swore sometimes it felt like she loved it more than you). You had about an hour until she would be back, which was plenty for the recipe you already had in mind. It was one of her favourites, and it was rather easy to make as it was only pasta. Did you purposely choose an easy one to reduce the risks of failure? Perhaps.

The smell was amazing. The kitchen was still intact, and you had only burned yourself on the stove three times. You’d call that a win. The pasta was ready, and you were just lowering the heat on the sauce when you heard the front door opening. Ajak must be home. Sure enough, there she was in the doorway of the kitchen, pants a little dirty, her hair out of place from the blowing wind outside, but she still was the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. She had a small smile on her lips and you knew she enjoyed herself out there, as she always did.

“Did you cook?”

There was a hint of surprise in her tone, but she mostly seemed pleased, eyes lighting up as she inspected the stove from afar.

“I did,” you replied with a proud smile. “Your favourite.”

“The house is still standing.”

“It is. Hurry up and taste it, I’m actually proud of this one.”

Ajak suppressed a laugh, a hand on her mouth. She needed to get cleaned up first and it was what she told you before retreating to your shared bathroom upstairs. In the meantime, you plated the food, making sure it looked as good as it must taste. You didn’t taste test, wanting Ajak to be the first to do so. It only took another 10 minutes for your lover to reappear in the room, in fresh clothes, hair in a loose ponytail. There was something incredibly domestic about all of this, and while you have been living together for a while, it still managed to make you giddy.

“Are you sure you made this?” She teased with a playful smile as she took a seat at the table.

You roll your eyes good naturally, your expression matching hers. “Of course I am. When you taste this, you’ll have no choice but to unban me from the kitchen.”

“We’ll see.”

Ajak raised the fork to her mouth and took a bite. Her face immediately betrayed her, nose scrunching up for a split second. Anyone else probably wouldn’t have noticed, but you had gotten good at reading her over the time.

She was still chewing as you asked, “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

She swallowed her bite and took a sip of water. It was so, so salty. It ruined the entire flavour of the dish and she felt bad at the thought of telling you this. You had obviously put a lot of effort into it, and were so proud of your work. She takes another bite, smiling sweetly.

“It’s good.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

You pouted, shoulders dropping in defeat. You watched as Ajak ate three more forkfuls of pasta.

“You don’t have to eat it if it’s bad, Ajak.”

“I love you,” she replied simply as she forced herself to swallow the ridiculously salty pasta. It was horrible, but she would eat it all for even a simple smile on your lips, or the fondness in your eyes as you look at her.

With a grumble, you stabbed your own pasta with a fork and brought it to your mouth. You chewed the food once and grimaced as the strong concentration of salt ruined your tastebuds for a moment. You don’t bother swallowing, getting up and grabbing the first plastic bag in sight, spitting out the food.

“Ajak, this is terri— Why are you still eating it?!”

You took the plate from in front of her, emptying the contents in the same trash bag you almost threw up in. You couldn’t believe she’d go as far as suffer through the terrible taste just to protect your feelings. The eternal shrugged, taking another sip from the cold water.

“I don’t understand,” you said, trash bag discarded as you leaned on the table, palms flat against the wood. “I followed the recipe exactly. I used the right amount of water, and pasta, cut the vegetables accordingly, measured the amount of cooking cream I had to put in, added two spoons of salt, the butter—“

“—Two what?”

You looked at her, blinking. “Two spoonfuls of salt, as the recipe dictated.”

“You mean two teaspoons.”

“What are you talking about?”

Ajak stared at you. You frowned, turning around and picking up the utensil you used to prepare the food. You held out the tablespoon for her expectantly.

“Two spoons.”

She took a breath, exhaling with a tender smile. “Oh, I adore you.”

“And I, you. I still don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

She left her seat, getting closer to you on the other side of the table and opening a nearby drawer. She took out a teaspoon.

“This is a teaspoon. See the difference in sizes?”

You took a moment, observing the spoon in your hand then the one in hers. You felt like an idiot, and you guessed Ajak noticed it because she chuckled, closing the distance between you to take you into her arms.

“Oh, my love… You’re still banned from the kitchen.”

With a noise of discontentment, you rest your chin on her shoulder, a small pout on your lips. You let her comfort you with her touch, enjoying how warm and secure she felt as she held you.

“Thank you for this,” she murmured in the crook of your neck.

“For what? A ruined dinner?”

Ajak pulled away, a hand resting on your cheek as she stared into your eyes. “I appreciate the gesture. We can still make the best of it.”

She turned towards the stove, rolling up her sleeves. She was in her element and it was apparent that she knew what she was doing as she took out the cooking cream from the refrigerator.

“Is it salvageable?” You asked, a hint of hope in your voice. You were really proud of your food, it would have been a shame to throw it all out.

“Mmh? Not at all, we’ll just remake it. I can’t believe you added two whole tablespoons of salt into the sauce without a second thought.”

“I didn’t know,” you whined, watching her get the seasonings from the cupboard. “I feel like a baby.”

“You’re my baby.”

Ajak didn’t spare you a glance as she said it, but your eyes widened slightly at the mundane confession. She was always telling you stuff like this, with ease while being absolutely genuine, and it never ceased to make you a bit flustered. As you listened to her cooking tips, sometimes helping her by adding the aliments under her careful supervision, you decided that you didn’t mind being awful in the kitchen if that meant she would be there with you to salvage the cooking, sharing your space and playfully mocking you with a hand on your cheek.

#ajak fic #ajak x you #ajak x reader #ajak eternals #eternals imagine #eternals x reader #ajak imagine #mcu x reader

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rrasado · 3 years

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Are you comfortable with uh- doing the obey me demon bros reacting to an MC who has DID having the bros as an introject alter? You dont have to if ur not comfy tho ofc

Which You Are You

I’m telling you all now I am no way experienced in writing about themes like this, nor do I experience this myself/know someone who does, I'm only relying on what I have from research so if you happen to find any offenses, mistakes and or misconceptions please don’t be afraid to tell me so I can fix it! Thank you dears. 💙🌒💙

Mentions of: Mental Illness

When you have Dissociative Identity Disorder: (under the cut)

Lucifer

Whether it was listed in your document in preparation for the exchange program or not. The first born will also be the first one to actually catch on to your condition.

But the How part is a bit...slow even for him. At first it might've started when he'd hear small talk from Mammon his brothers concerning the exchange student. Given your blank nature during first impressions he was not expecting to hear words of comparison between you and him.

Initially he was at least delighted, another responsible figure in the House of Lamentation instead of another person to look after? His wishes have been granted- that is...until he realizes he rarely sees these so called similarities between you two when he himself is with you.

After nitpicking whether he's being pranked by his brothers or you. He'll come to decide that observing you himself will be the best course of action. And in his observations did he find out what's truly at play.

"You humans tend to succumb to all sorts of hindrances... we must tend to this efficiently"

He'll ultimately end up being your personal tracker in some sense, especially with you having alters akkined to his brothers, he's the best at dealing with every single you. He may not voice it as much but he's come to grow a soft spot for you, after all... you make him remember what it's like to deal with his brothers when they aren't busy talking behind his back. A bittersweet mutual benefit noh?

Mammon

If Lucifer wasn't the fastest to catch on, Mammon would've been the next contender. The guy spends the most time with you, so expect him to actually vocally point out the eerily different behaviors you display in different times. Especially when your certain Lucifer alter comes out to scold him.

Only when he ranted to the poor avatar of wrath did he consider that this little quirk of yours might actually be more than just, well...a quirk.

Tries making it a game on which alter is currently out, he's correct 50% of the time. But hey at least he's trying-

Will not hesitate to put any lower level demons at school back in their place for making fun of you.

"OI! Ya'll are just cowards hiding behind the damned walls! Well newsflash you bastards wall can talk!-"

Believe it or not, he'd be the first one to actually get used to your condition. And whe that fact comes to light god- he won't shut up about it. Who else would understand the human most? None other than the great mammon of course!

Leviathan

Levi...surprisingly thought of the possibility the fastest- but he's one of the last ones to actually let it sink in. He probably thought of the possibility because he saw it in an anime once, the main character used their multiple personalities with different powers and- wait he's ranting.

on a more serious note, the only reason he doesn't get the hang of you the fastest is because he kept comparing your alters with character he know, which would sound helpful but- he misses his shot when interacting with you a lot, easily slipping and thinking you're the character and not- you.

But once he does, it's as easy to him as completing a cunning minigame puzzle in a video game. As long as he executes the right keys he'll be fine, right?

Ah levi...that's only if you know which one you're talking to. But when he hears of one alter that oddly acts like him? He'll finally learn how to slowly deal with, himself..?

"Eh? This is like dealing with a mimikyu...hm? ah-"

Overall he's on the "finds your condition dope" side of the spectrum, but that doesn't mean he dismisses the struggles that come with it, he may not be the first person you'd go to when seeking help but when you do...he'll at least open his door for you.

Satan

In his case the only reason he wasn't the first to pin point what's really at play is because he doesn't spend as much time with you as the others. His only basis for making a conclusion are your short morning greetings and when you see each other at the RAD halls.

And since he only has little basis, the realization only strikes him when he hears talk from his brothers how you acted in class with them. Cue to the fourth getting confused because hey you just said good morning to him and you didn't act that way- wait a damn minute..

"I hope this doesn't come too sudden but, would you like to hang out more?"

His hypothesis gets confirmed the more he spends time with you, and unlike the first born, he smartly deals with you via logical reasoning, especially when your more childish alters come out? He'll squint to see any patterns he can concoct counters for in any given situation.

In short, the man is a living breathing clip board of your situation. The others know they can't ask lucifer for advice despite knowing he's the one who absentmindedly deals with you the best, so they turn to the avatar of wrath much to his dismay for insight on you.

Asmodeus

The Avatar of lust is the last to adjust to you, most likely because he doesn't really pay attention to your behavior and mannerisms unless it's posture and if it affects your overall projection.

Deals with it the... least effectively, no asmo you don't- give special clothes and makeovers per alter- though the sentiment is very much appreciated.

Asmo is asmo he'll deal with it in his own style, which again isn't the best way to deal with it but- He's trying, trust me he really is. It shows when he finally gets the tick to ask satan.

And as such expect slow subtle changes with how he treats you, he doesn't wanna make his favorite human uncomfortable! But I think he's the best at relaxing you after a draining experience with one of your more energetic alters.

"Dear you should sit down for a bit- Here let me take care of you"

Depending on where you manifested your disorder from, he'll try to take it slow and easy for you, besides, he knows that there's more to you to unpack, but he's determined to fully accommodate you! no matter which you.

Beelzebub

The way Beel finds out is so odd and yet so unsurprising...and how you may ask? Food.

I meant- with him associating 90 percent of everything with food, he might find out when he takes note of what and how much you eat. He'll have a variety of snacks at the ready, depending how or even if you approach him for some, he'd be initially confused, except for when your alter similar to him comes out. He doesn't question your enthusiasm.

The thing that puts the final nail in the coffin is actually when Belphie points it out to him. He was prepping well trying to not eat food for you when belphie asks him what he's making, he says your favorite food and belphie would grumble how you have so many favorites.

Beel initially dismisses it because hey he has so many favorites to but here he was. But the more he thinks about it the more it connects- which led him to seek none other than the avatar of wrath himself.

"Hey...what are you craving for right now?"

That question doubles as his test for figuring which you is out, depending how and what you answer, his choice of treating you narrows down. Suffice it to say despite being the weirdest method- he's the third one that deals with you the best.

Belphegor

H...he actually accepts it the fastest- despite not being the first to figure it out, he comes into terms with it in the shortest timespan compared to all his brothers.

And just like his twin, he finds out how to deal with you with the most uncanny test- your sleep schedule.

There may be times where you sleep like a log, other nights you stay up longer than the first born. No matter what he'll deal with you to best he can in the moment...assuming he's awake.

He only concerns himself even more when his pillow ended up with you, your alter similar to him opted for that black and white pillow which ultimately ended up with you two napping and sharing said pillow.

"Hng...you're..awake..? How did you sleep..?"

Yes, there may be times he wishes to talk back to mammon's claims of dealing with you the best. but as long as he can interact with whichever you without hitch, he's content.

As I’ve said at the top, please don’t be afraid to tell me any mistakes. I wish to provide without offending nor demeaning anyone. And I won’t mind taking this down if it’s called for, thank you again dears. 💙🌒💙

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #swd obey me #obey me!#obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #rras writes #writings from the eclipse #tw mention of mental illness

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

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hoseas-angry-ghost · 3 years

Note

YES YES YES I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR UR THEORIES

Hello anon! I am very surprised anyone wants to hear my chutney but here's my Strange Man Hot Take with some hopefully interesting info for curious parties:

To be honest, R* included so much misdirection around the Strange Man's identity (especially in RDR1) that I'm not *totally* convinced they're married to any one idea. RDR2 also complicated things by introducing new religions into Red Dead's world (Voodoo, Old Norse, etc.): he's no longer limited to just Christian / Western interpretations, as in RDR1, and it's possible R* might try to syncretise him with figures from other faiths (they did place Bayall Edge in Bayou Nwa, where most of the Voodoo stuff is).

At the same time, though, I think RDR2 actually narrowed things down somewhat in terms of the direction R* chose to take his character, and what we were shown of that. There's still a level of misdirection in RDR2, but IMO, it almost comes off as half-hearted in comparison to what was basically trolling in RDR1 -- it seems like they were a lot more focused on playing the "bad news" angle the second time round.

Based on what we know, and on the balance of things, I'm not convinced that the Strange Man is necessarily meant to be any one thing or figure, but I do think he's meant to fulfil some type of Satanic role within Red Dead's world, either in main or in part.

I won't compare and dissect other theories or anything, I just thought I'd list off some things that people might find interesting:

Armadillo. The deal between the Strange Man and Herbert Moon seems to be a pretty textbook Faustian bargain: Moon is offered earthly rewards ("happiness or two generations"), and although the price was (tellingly?) never specified, it seems like the recent Blood Money update for RDO all but confirmed that the cost was probably his soul. Although it's left ambiguous what Moon actually chose, the Armadillo curse was possibly an unforeseen (for Moon) consequence of the deal's terms, which would fit with similar tales of the devil or demon in question taking liberties with their end of the bargain.

In the files, there's some great audio of Moon off the shits and straight-up saying "I've made a deal with the devil, and I will never truly die!" It's possible this was cut for its own reasons (too overt?), but as a lot of stuff was apparently cut from Armadillo, I'm guessing it was either cut when Arthur in New Austin got cut, or it was part of something that R* didn't have time to implement in the epilogue. Either way, if it's not actually in the game then it's not technically canon, but it is an indication of what R* was thinking during development.

There's a lot of audio from the Armadillo townsfolk in general about devils and "devil curses," but the only thing I know of that definitely made it into the game is a line from the town crier ("Devil has the town in his hand").

There's audio of the Armadillo bartender saying "I heard the Tillworths made a deal with the devil to keep from gettin' sick! I don't wanna die any more than the next man, but ain't no safety worth a man's soul." Possibly idle gossip, but given Moon, possibly not.

RDO seemed to flirt with the idea of soul-selling a little bit with Old Man Jones' line "Well, this is America, so anything can be bought -- even souls," but then RDO pretty much just came right out and said it with Bluewater John in the Blood Money update. Bluewater John also apparently made a deal, almost definitely with the Strange Man (given the Moon deal and how close Bayall Edge is to all the drama); he was based on blues musician Robert Johnson and the myth that he sold his soul to the devil for mastery of the guitar. It's basically a rehash of the Moon deal, except it's... not subtle in its dialogue about deals, devils and souls.

"I GAVE EVERYTHING FOR ART, AND I LEARNED TOO MUCH AND NOTHING AT ALL" written on the wall at Bayall Edge also sounds like a reference to another one of these deals to me ("everything" being their soul, and "I learned too much and nothing at all" the foolishness of accepting eternal damnation for temporary knowledge). I think Bayall Edge might have originally belonged to a painter who struck a deal with the Strange Man for artistic skill, but then the Strange Man slowly possessed him or something -- which could be why some of the landscapes depict RDR1's I Know You locations, and why the writings on the wall kind of look like they deteriorate in quality. The puddle of blood at the foot of the portrait might also be linked to this somehow (whose is it?).

It's the deal-making for souls that really pushed the "devil" theory over the edge for me, because I can't think of whose wheelhouse that would be in except a devil's, or someone similarly malevolent.

Alternative name. The Strange Man's character model is called cs_mysteriousstranger in RDR2, and he's referred to as "the mysterious stranger" at least once in RDR1's in-game text. This could be a reference to The Mysterious Stranger, written by Mark Twain between 1897-1908, in which the stranger is a supernatural being called Satan. (At the end of the last version written, he tells the protagonist that nothing really exists and their lives are just a dream.)

Bayall Edge. Bayall Edge was possibly based on a Louisiana urban myth called the Devil's Toy Box, which is "described as a shack. From the outside, it is unappealing and average. ...The inside of the shack consists of floor-to-ceiling mirrors, including the walls. No one can last more than five minutes in this room. ...According to the legend, if you stood inside this mirror-room alone for too long, supposedly the devil would show up and steal your soul." The Strange Man does show up in the mirror eventually, and it's kind of curious that the paintings that change depending on your Honour act as metaphorical mirrors. This was also cut, but in the files, Arthur's drawing of the interior of Bayall Edge is unusually sloppy, like his faculties were impaired or something.

"Awful, fascinating and seductive". John writes this about Bayall Edge after the portrait is finished, and I think that's as good a description of something like the / a devil as any, but "seductive" is a big red flag for me, because it's such an odd choice of word and, from a Christian perspective, it's so loaded with connotations of evil and sin and temptation.

I Know You. Some have pointed out that I Know You in RDR1 resembles the Temptation of Christ, as it also takes place in three separate locations in the desert, and John is given moral tests in which he must choose between higher virtue or worldly vice. John is also, in a weird way, a kind of Christ-like figure in that he ultimately sacrifices his life for others. I do think the "temptation" in these encounters is very surreptitious but very much there ("Or rob her yourself" -- excuse me??), but they may also be operating on a Biblical definition of the word, i.e. a test or trial with the free choice of committing sin.

RDR1 dialogue. I don't want to get *too* much into this because I feel like we're all just getting punked in RDR1, but I think the Strange Man's dialogue broadly fits with something like a "devil" interpretation, or at least doesn't contradict it.

I'm thinking particularly of lines like "Damn you!" / "Yes, many have" (which would work metaphorically but also literally, given that the devil was thrown from heaven by God and his angels), and "I hope my boy turns out just like you" (of all the leading theories, I think Satan is the only figure who's popularly conceptualised as having a son, or prophesied to have a son -- God obviously had a son, but that ship kinda sailed).

I think the "accountant" line refers to Honour (which even uses an invisible numerical system), and how John's fate depends on the number of both good and bad acts he's committed throughout his life, and how these weigh against each other. If the Strange Man likes to collect souls, then he would have a vested interest in auditing you and seeing if your accounts are in the black or the red, as it were (and providing you with opportunities to push yourself further into the latter...), because if you're bankrupt, you're his.

Blind Man Cassidy. Interestingly, Cassidy seems to distinguish between "Death" and the Strange Man, implying that he's something else beyond his understanding: in one of Arthur's fortunes, after his TB diagnosis, he says "the man with no nose [Death] is coming for you," but in one of John's fortunes, he says "Two strangers seek thee: one from this world, perhaps one from another. One brings hatred; I'm not so sure what the other brings."

Arthur's cut dialogue. In the files, there's audio of Arthur having the exact same conversation with Herbert Moon as John in the epilogue, asking about the Strange Man picture because he "just seemed familiar". I think it's interesting that, like John, Arthur also would have apparently recognised the Strange Man despite (presumably) never seeing him before. Given how strong a theme morality is in Red Dead -- and how much both John and Arthur struggle with it -- my theory is that they find the Strange Man vaguely familiar because they're both familiar with the evil within themselves, or the potential for evil; and likewise, the Strange Man "knows" John because he embodies evil in some sense, so is aware of John's worst sins (like his involvement at Blackwater), or possibly even all of his sins (which would be, like, a lot).

Honourable mention: There's such a greater emphasis on conspiracies, myths, etc. in RDR2 that I half-wonder if the Strange Man's RDR2 incarnation was partly inspired by Hat Man (~excuse the link~ but often it's hard to find good sources for the kind of weird shit R* includes in their games).

ANYWAY, this got a little long but I hope someone found all this at least passably interesting. Thanks again for letting me ramble about the video game man, anon!

#The Strange Man #inbox #Me @ me: God jsut shut the fcuk-

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old-hyper-super-clover · 3 years

Text

Squeeze that bunny tail!

Part 1

Description: The RAD student council as well as the exchange students help out at a bar where, oops, the staff´s dress codes are those sweet bunny outfits that we all know and thirst for. The MCs, Violet and Clover, play a game of who can touch the most bunny tails over the evening without getting caught. Prepare for fluff, funny innuendos as well as my thirst over hot boys in bunny outfits.

The story is divided in several parts and will be updated every few days.

*I wrote this when the bunny UR+ cards first came out so there will be differences to the second event & their outfits

Story begins below the cut, have fun!

One fateful day, Diavolo had called his best friend Lucifer over to discuss a very urgent, utterly important matter...

"... A bar?" Lucifer repeated the prince's words.

"Yes!" Diavolo cheered.

"... And you want us to work there?"

"Yeah!"

"... Not only my brothers and me, but also all of the exchange students as well?"

"Strong yes! Barbatos and I will join, too."

"What? Are you sure? Should the prince of the Devildom really lower himself to such frivolous tasks?"

"Come on, Lucifer, it will be fun!"

Lucifer pressed out a deep sigh.

"... For you, perhaps... For me, it will be nothing but another day of babysitting a bunch of idiots..."

----------------

When the group arrived in the newly opened but already renowned bar, lots of them gave amazed gasps.

"It's huge!" Clover called out.

"And real fancy, too..." Mammon said, a mischievous spark in his eyes.

Belphie noticed how his brother was already searching for the most expensive decoration and gave an annoyed sigh. "Mammon's having idiot thoughts again..."

"All of you" Lucifer called out to the demons and humans living in the House of Lamentation. "I expect great manner from all of you. Lord Diavolo kindly asked us to help out with the grand opening of his acquaintance's bar. As it is the first day the place is opened to the general public, the owners asked him to offer help, and here we are. I would like to say that every item that gets broken or gets STOLEN", he shot Mammon an obvious glare, "will be repaid out of your own wallet. Furthermore, I am making you aware that..."

He kept talking for an unknown (but awfully long) amount of time, until Diavolo would pull him out of his ranting.

"Lucifer, relax! This is a laid-back place, I am sure everyone will do just fine. After all, we also have our kind Angel and Human friends to help."

Asmodeus raised an eyebrow.

"Is Luke allowed to be here, though? It's an adult place, after all..."

"Wha-?!" Some angry Chihuahua noises escaped Luke´s mouth. "I'm not a child, you know! Of course I am allowed to work here, show some respect!"

Simeon next to him gave the small blond a pat on his head while trying to bring the conversation back on track.

"Thank you for inviting us, Diavolo. Shall we get started, then? We don't have much time left until the first customers arrive."

They got shown around the whole place.

It consisted of two floors to sit in or play all sorts of bar games, a dance hall and a giant kitchen, serving all sorts of treats to go along with the (mostly alcoholic) beverages to buy from one of the even more impressive bars.

"The place looks pretty tame, though" Asmo pointed out as they had finished the tour.

"You think?!" Violet blinked at him. "I think it's amazing..."

"Asmo..." Satan mumbled. "I am pretty sure the places where you are a regular at are simply a little... special."

Completely ignoring the implications in Satan´s words, Asmodeus went on to ask the owner about whether they had what he called "fun rooms", which, yes, are just what you think they are.

They had to drag him back so they could finally be introduced to their work schedule.

"The bar is opened until four in the morning" Barbatos explained. "We will be working in shifts to maintain our stamina..."

Slowly, everything important had been settled, and the first bunch was about to start their shift.

But...

Well...

All this was a happening planned with the mind of Sir Diavolo himself...

So of course it wouldn't end up being a normal evening. It never did.

Just as the group wanted to leave the kitchen-strategy-meeting, Diavolo called out to them.

"Behold!" he prompted. "Are you planning to go out looking like THIS?"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow, already alert at the smirk on his friend's face. "Oh no..."

Barbatos, who had shortly excused himself after explaining everything, entered the kitchen, now holding a piece of clothing in his hands.

"The waiters and waitresses at this pub are required a special working garment", Barbatos explained. "We have prepared suiting clothes in your respective sizes already."

"Cl...othes?" Violet dared to ask.

"Yes!" Diavolo beamed her a smile. "And after midnight, you change clothes once again. Those are a surprise, however, so you will have to be patient until then."

Solomon gave a contemplative hum.

"And... What are those garments, exactly?"

-------------

"... Violet?"

"... Clover?"

"... Do you have bunny ears in your outfit set, too?"

"... Yeah."

Silence.

They stepped out of the women's toilet stalls, mustering each other.

A frilly short skirt, a pretty blouse, a cute bow tie, and two bunny ears as well as a matching bunny tail.

"... Looks pretty good, though" Clover mumbled. "A little embarrassing, but oh well..."

They checked their outfits for a little longer in the mirror, adjusting their clothes...

"To think they'd make us wear stuff like this", Violet said.

"Yeah... Like, are we supposed to serve customers like this? And look all weird, just the two of us?" Clover played around with her new pair of ears.

"Dunno..." Violet breathed as she checked her make up. “I bet the boys will think we look…” she stopped.

Realisation hit them.

"Violet."

"Clover."

They dashed out of the bathroom.

And opening the door, they saw...

Bunny boys.

Ten of them, right there, in those... With those... Looking so…

Violet suppressed a squeal while Clover was hiding a heavy blush.

But there was no time to recover from this critical hit.

Already having spotted them, Asmodeus was bouncing towards them, his frilly, pretty revealing blouse swaying around his curves.

"Waah, you girls are bunnies, too~!"

He began to inspect them thoroughly, also pulling the attention of the other males towards them.

But with all the damn nice snacks around, the girls had troubles focussing on only Asmo as he continued to squeal something.

"Whyyyy do we have to do thiiiisss..." Levi groaned, visibly uncomfortable in his butler bunny suit.

Lucifer (very stunning view btw, chef's kiss) crossed his arms in a sigh.

"You heard Lord Diavolo... It seems to be common practice in this local to dress like this... But I'm starting to regret agreeing to help out..."

A hand gently placed on Lucifer's shoulder.

"Oh, come on, Lucy" Simeon smiled, brown bunny ears reaching out of his hair. "I think this suits you very well. You look cute."

This only pulled a greater sigh out the demon's throat, but he wasn't allowed to keep this frown any longer, as Diavolo and Barbatos joined the group soon after.

To the group's surprise, both of them were in similar suits as well.

"Wow, all of you look stunning!" Diavolo wore a big grin. "I knew it was a great idea to suggest a dress code!"

"That was your idea?!" Luke pouted, having whatever trouble with his costume (which btw was designed to be distinctively less... sexy than all of the other suits, don´t worry about the angel child). His floppy rabbit ears looked adorable, but it only added to the impression that he shouldn't be here, serving alcohol for the next hours...

"Of course", Diavolo cheered. "They say good-looking staff makes more profit, and I want this evening to be a success."

-------------------

"I heard the place was designed to imitate a classic bar from the human world."

Initiating a conversation, Satan was preparing glasses at the bar together with Violet, Clover and a few of his brothers.

"Is it normal for the staff to look like this in the human world?" he asked, quite amused to watch the girls' bunny ears bounce with their movements. "Not that I'm complaining... I just figured you must know."

"... You´re asking US? Do we look like we party a lot?" Clover mumbled.

Violet gave a shrug. "It's kind of a... Classic costume to go with, but I don't think it's really that common with humans, too."

The demon gave a nod, then excused himself as Levi was calling for him on the other side of the bar.

And now that the girls had some time for themselves again, they could finally let out their inner fangirls.

Basically just giving weird noises, exchanging a few completely out of context words that only two minds speaking the same language of stupid could understand, they gushed about all the males surrounding them.

"Clover oh my god I-" Violet whispered in a gasp. "I love the tails."

"And the ears" Clover agreed.

"And the vests."

"The bow ties."

"But the fluffly TAiLs oh myyy..."

"Lolll I bet you wanna squish them-"

"YEEssssSSSSS..."

Afraid someone might notice, they tried calming down. But as if the universe was trying to keep them agitated, Beel happened to pass by, stopping next to them to organise the bottles in the display shelves behind them.

The girls turned, mustering the male...

Suddenly, Violet's expression curled into a sly grin, thinking of the huge crush Clover had on Beelzebub. She leaned in on Clover to whisper in her ear.

"Squeeze his tail..."

Clover's eyes widened as she started to blush.

"What?! No..." she whispered back.

"I know you want to~", Violet continued to purr in amusement.

"Sh-shut up...!" Clover grumbled.

"Come ooon..."

"Y-you do it if you're so tough...!", Clover pouted.

Her friend only gave a shrug, stepping closer to the demon as she nonchalantly reached for the bunny tail attached to his pants.

Of course, Beel noticed her presence.

"Violet?" he blinked in surprise, but apparently did not register how Violet pulled her arm back immediately.

She shot him a smile.

"Hey, Beel, could you... hand me that bottle in the upper shelf? Asmo said he needed it over there."

"Sure."

And as the male reached for the bottle, Violet took the chance to squeeze that fluffy pompom.

"Thanks" she cheered, then went to grab Clover to disappear from the scene of crime.

Violet couldn't quite wipe the victorious grin off her face.

Clover on the other hand...

"I hate everything", she pouted.

"You should have just went for it" Violet laughed. "It's like this game we used to play in the human world when everyone is wearing hats with pompoms during winter. Just that here, it’s a bunny tail that you had to squish.”

"But..." Clover sulked, like always sad that she wasn´t brave enough to do what Violet asked her to do.

So Violet mustered her friend...

Then, an idea hit her.

"You know what, actually?" Violet said. "I dare you to squish a tail."

Clover made a weird sound.

"What?! Nooo... You know I'm awkward..."

"And let's make it a game!"

"... Are you even listening to me?"

Apparently, she wasn´t.

"Whoever manages to squeeze the most bunny tails wins -- without the person noticing, of course." Violet was grinning from ear to ear.

Clover gave a big sigh.

"... The tails from either of the boys?" She finally gave in.

"Yeah, let's."

"... Would you voluntarily go up to your crush Lucifer and risk your life?"

Violet's face turned into a conflicted blush.

"I..." she mumbled in an unconvincing shrug. "Maybe...?"

"They should have different difficulty levels", Clover suggested. "Giving different amounts of points,, depending on how difficult we consider the squeeze-ability of a tail."

----------

Don't ask how or why... (And how they found the time to come up with this madness)

But in the end, the two girls had invented a game to keep them entertained for the next couple of hours.

They came up with a plan for the "bunny tail squeeze point distribution":

1 point: Beel, Belphie, Simeon, Levi (+), Asmo (+)

2 points: Mammon, Satan (+), Barbatos, Luke (V)

3 points: Lucifer, Solomon, Diavolo, Luke (C)

"The plus stands for a potential to increase in points, as those three are a little difficult to analyse. We'll count it depending on the situation and their wariness..." Clover concluded as she showed Violet the notes she had taken on a beer coaster. "And Luke's on there twice because I'm a fucking giraffe and get a bonus point if I can reach that Chihuahua’s tail. And thaaat... Would be all."

Violet squealed in excitement.

"Great, then let's go!"

Clover gave a last sigh, knowing what difficulties she'd have with this.

"This is SO going to end in some disaster..."

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obeyme #short story #obey me bunny event

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neverheardnothing · 5 years

Text

black friday spoilers under cut!!! i’m serious!!!

aaaaaa im going to lose my SHIT

really im about to spoil the entire show

dont read if you havent seen it

oh my GOD OH MY GOD. PAUL. AND EMMA. THEYRE BACK. THEYRE BAKC.

AND THE FUCKING LA DEE DAH DAH DAY MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS BACK

PAULKINS. GOD. THEYRE ALIVE. AND FINE. IMGOING TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!!!!!

“i dont like getting by cars anymore” this is fucking hilarious why isnt ANYONE LAUGHING

“okay okay okay OKAY” ahhhh theyre really perfect for each other

“my buddy bill” hey im going to start crying.

:( this is so upsetting im so sad for this family.

DYLAN SOLO TIME. HIS VOICE. FUCK.

“flash, bang, jane” oh my god oh my god i am on the FLOOR. this is HEARTBREAKING.

this song reminds me of inutil from in the heights fuck. im.

“family emergency” OKAY HIS WIFE DIED. DONT BE SO HARD ON HIM.

COREY SOLO COREY SOLO OH YEAH BOI

also they lit a fire on stage

corey’s character is SUCH AN ASSHOLE I LOVE IT HE’S THE PRIME DICKASS. oh my god wait hE’S MR KRABS

MALL SECURITY. ROBERT BEING A COP AGAIN.

ethan is a Look. the plaid around his waist AND the leather jacket oh my GOD.

oh my god the backing music in this moment is from the trailer. god. i love it.

CALIFOR MIA OHM Y OGD

OH MY GOD IT SOUNDS SO GOOD WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRATION

THE CHOREO WITH HANNAH IM CRYING

OH MY GOD THE HAMONIES. ROBERT.

SMOKE CLUB. IM CRYING.

THE INTERLUDE WITH THE LETTER OH MY GOD IT’S SO GOOD.

BROKE! AS! SHIT!

smoke club hannah.

“that better be fucking floss. let’s go i want a cigarette”

“that’s illegal...... or it should be.” LMAO

WHAT DO YOU SAY OHYEAH BOI

IT SOUNDS SO GOOD AS AN ENSEMBLE NUMBER AND ALL THE HARMONIES ARE IN

corey really is mr. krabs he’s even in red

GIVE US UR FUCKING MONEY

GIVE US UR FUCKING CASH

WHATEVER THE HELL JAIME IS MIMING IS SENDING ME

“and im in a hurry” A MAN IN A HURRY

whatever the hell kind of accent is jon putting on i love it

SKDLFASL;DKSS JON “RIGHT IN T HE SUBPEONA”

“three dollars” god that’s me

OH MY GOD THIS A BACKING BIT JEFF PUT ON HIS STORY

yES I AM LIVING SO FUCKING HARD

i think this is my favorite number so far

THE BEAT DROP GOES SO FUCKING HARD

jon and jeff strangling each other

this is SUCH A GOOD NUMBER AND THE CHOREOGRAPHY

JEFF AND JAMES HAVE REALLY OUTDONE THEMSELVES

GOD I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE CAST RECORDING

this is DEFINITELY the best song musically yet

THE MOTIF FROM SHWO ME YOUR HANDS YES OH MY GOD I LOVE IT

THE RECURRING THINGS FROM TGWDLM I AM LIVING FOR IT S O MUCH

hannah is such an archetype character so far i hope she gets like. More Character soon.

the melody for califor mia returns in the backing here ugh i love it

wow i wonder if these guys have fight call for all this shit

the “eeeeee” noise jon made i just laughed so hard

WAIT FUCK THE SAD PIANO CALIFOR MIA IS IN THE BACKGROUND

WTF ETHAN DIES HERE? WHAT THE FUCK. OH SHIT. FUCK!!!! the first death.

“GIVE ME THAT FUCKING DOLL IM IN A HURRY” OH MY GOD MAN IN A HURRY STRIKES BACK

are we down a tom already too?? jesus fuck i presumed all these characters would die but this is quick.

the reverb/echo on joey’s audio is So Spooky i love it

AHHH THE NEWS THEME BEEPS

the creepy carol of the bells backing music i love it

also is that a fucking barack obama impression

james patting the doll as they all argue is such a mood

OH MY GOD

MCNAMARA

OH MY GOD!!!

AMERICA IS GREAT AGAIN THEME IS BACK

I! AM! LIVING! FOR ALL THE TGWDLM MUSIC REPRISES.

PEIP BAYBEEEEEE.

“just me and a few of my peeps” im fucknig losing it

GOD!!!!! THIS UNDERSCORING I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

intermission

THE NOT YOUR SEED MELODY ON AN ELECTRIC GUITAR

GOD IT SLAPS!!!!!

oh my god found the bit of choreography that looks like it was from the prom

also love the james lauren and robert solo dance number

the only starkids minus denise who can dance

the ensemble numbers in this show are so fucking good

also nice that tom survived. though like. probably not for long considering how this show is going.

tom: i killed my family

becky: yeah but remember us in high school?

did becky fucking kill her husband

LOL YEAH SHE DID

jesus christ what an admission

oof dylan and kim’s voices dont blend that well together and i think one of them is slightly flat on the belt harmonies

oh my god theyre going to fuck in this movie theater during the apocalypse christ almighty

oh hELL YEAH america is great again theme is playing again

“fuck that, fuck that, FUCK THAT!” mood

his face at “birth canal” is KILLING ME

im so ready for jon wiggly to show up i HOPE TO GOD ITS A FURSUIT

jaime is SUCH a good actress like legitimately

is wiggly going to be the new satan in this fandom oh god

this is like if everyone actually worshipped the duck in firebringer

“unless i get what i shit” lmaooooo

wow ok i legit wonder if they have fight call for all these lifts and fights that happen in the show

the demented califor mia underscoring right now i am Living

“well, webby is a stupid bitch!” lol i love this, though i dont love that theyre just using vulgar words as the punchline

the underscoring of dylan’s i want song in this conversation holy shit

space tour vibes with the helmet lmaoooo

“i cant be evil im a status quo democrat!” LMAOOOOOO

oh im finally getting that the streamers on the wall are also supposed to be like wiggly’s mouth

THE ELECTRIC GUITAR IS FUCKIN POWERFUL

UGH YES NOT YOUR SEED MELODY LINE FOR A SEC

o shit nuclear war with russia

“two doors not one” OHM Y GOD OK

FUCK MAN!!!!!!!!!

HANNAH!!!!!

the melody of “aliens invading minds” reoccurring is Killing Me i love it so much

“friday is black for me” oof

oh shit so both lex and hannah have some weird fucking interdimensional power???

this entire fucking show is SO fucking wild like i honestly dont know what to make of it

“THEYRE ALL INTO FORTNITE DUDE” LMAOOOOOOOO

it’s because all the adults are sad and jaded under capitalism lol

tom’s face this entire time is hilarious

dylan’s voice is literally heavenly oh my god

“should i move these boxes first?” cinematic parallels to the should i take this chair lol

“the hat falling off her head” lmaoooo

curt laughing

“is it some kind of joooooke???”

the yoga choreography i am LOSING MY SHIT

evil carol of the bells motif again!!

JAMES’ DEATH DROP UGH YES

lex set a fire and she burned down the mall!

oh man the “what if tomorrow comes” melody is playing and im crying

“WEAR A WATCH” OH MY GOD LMAOOO

also jon saying “what am i going to dowithout my iphone” as a former apple store employee is hilarious

the callbacks to tgwdlm were hilarious

god this song is so fucking good

also robert being hot chocolate guy is hilarious

im so ready for nerdy prudes must die

kendall’s voice is so good oh my god

the harmonies im living jesus christ christ i wish they were sustained though there’s some silences between them which is a bit awkward

and this was only the digital ticket im sure they’ll sound MUCH better with the actual editing in picked from several performances and better on the cast recording.

ok tbh i don’t know quite what to make of black friday yet i will have to rewatch a few times to Really Process it but i do know that there were some fucking BOPS in it. it kinda feels like a bit of a mess

angela did very well singing songs that were originally not written on her voice but u can also definitely tell. i really liked her califor mia but not so much when the song required her voice to be very strong.

and hey at least most of them didn’t die this time.

#teresa liveblogs stuff #black friday #black friday spoilers #sk

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jawnjendes · 5 years

Text

shawn meets... | bella

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)

AN: hiiii this is somewhat of a continuation of my last series, goth gf. you dont HAVE to read it to know what's happening here, but there will be references to it every so often. if you've been here since the goth gf days then, hi. i appreciate you. enjoy this shit. let me know ur thots.

****let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

bella's origin story | bella's playlist | masterlist

It felt awfully strange to be in Annalise's hometown, knowing she wouldn't be going home right away. The residential part of North Hollywood where her parents lived still felt like it was a million miles away. The glamorous Lyft Lux was going through the equally glamorous parts of the city, and it was almost mundane despite the fact that she had been away for over a year.

Shawn and his younger sister, Aaliyah, were frequently pointing out the exciting things they had only seen in photos and movies: the Chinese Theater, the Walk of Fame, the Hollywood sign. They were bundles of energy and excitement. Annalise was only jittery because she never fully processed that she lives in the same city as her favorite YouTuber, Bella Santiago.

Over a month ago, Bella discovered the Shawn Mendes profile on Spotify, causing her to give him a shoutout on Twitter. Then, just after the release of his newest EP, In My Blood, Bella messaged Shawn, offering to fly him out to LA, put him in a hotel and make a video with her. Shawn immediately jumped at the chance, but he couldn't go without bringing two of the biggest Bella stans he knew, Annalise and Aaliyah. The only reason why it took until the New Year for this to happen was simple: exams and Christmas.

When the semester ended, Annalise spent the holidays and her 22nd birthday with Shawn's family in Pickering, much to her own family's disdain. It was different, celebrating Christmas on the morning of the 25th, rather than the 24th. It was also different not eating tamales or pozole like she did with her family. It totally wasn't annoying when Shawn blasted that god awful Taylor Swift song on the morning of Annalise's birthday. She totally didn't miss her family either.

She had to promise her parents that she would stay in LA for the duration of the holiday break in return for missing all the important holidays. It wasn't a hard decision to make, but it was going to be hard letting Shawn go. Annalise only hoped that there would be time for him to meet her extended family during this trip. From what she understood, as soon as Bella was done with him, Shawn and Aaliyah were getting on a plane straight back to Toronto.

As it turns out, Bella Santiago is insanely generous. She reserved the three of them a deluxe suite at the Marriott. They had a view of the city, a massive king size bed, and a pull out sofa bed. Everything was spotless, and luxurious.

"She didn't have to go this hard," Aaliyah pointed out as she tossed her suitcase to the side.

"What, would you rather sleep on the floor?" Shawn teased. "And pick that up and move it so it's out of the way!"

She rolled her eyes as she did what he said.

Annalise made herself comfortable on top of the white sheets. While all of this was exciting, she was fucking exhausted. It felt like it was much later in the day, having gotten up at seven. The time change made it feel like it was well in the afternoon, but it was barely eleven.

"How's your tummy?" Shawn asked from the window. He had his phone out and was taking photos of the view.

"Much better," she replied.

Against her better judgment, Annalise had a coffee during the five hour flight, and it did not agree with her. She made good friends with a barf bag… or three. All the caffeine must have left her system if she was feeling better now.

"What time do we meet Bella?" asked Aaliyah, padding over to stand by her brother.

"Three o'clock," Shawn replied. "In the ballroom downstairs."

That prompted all three of them to take a death nap for the time being. It only lasted about three hours, and when their alarms went off, none of them felt any more rested.

Annalise was the first one to actually get up and get ready. For once, she was intimidated by who she was going to be standing in front of today. She had to look her best, even if it was in all black.

It didn't take long for Aaliyah to follow suit. Soon enough, both girls were sitting in front of the window, using the California sun for their light as they did their makeup.

The funny thing is, as much as they cared about looking their best, neither of them were going to be in Bella's video. She only wanted Shawn, who was still lying in bed half an hour before the scheduled meet up.

"What are you gonna wear?" Annalise asked her boyfriend.

"I don't know," he replied, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Will she even care about what I'm wearing?"

"You're gonna be on her channel," Aaliyah said, looking up from her handheld mirror, "which has millions of viewers, including some of my friends who will never let me hear the end of it if they see my brother looking like a clown in front of the queen!"

Shawn grinned and got up. "I'll go like this, what do you think?" He held his arms out, showcasing his plaid pajama bottoms and a Nike hoodie. He also only had one sock on.

"You'll be dead before you step out of the room like that," Ann darkly added.

“Thanks Satan.” He chuckled.

Shawn was only pretending to be calm. Inside, he was shaking and his insides were heavy. He didn't even think about Bella's subscriber count until Aaliyah pointed it out. He really wanted Bella to like him too. She seemed like such a sweetheart from her videos, Shawn hoped that wasn't just a persona.

He had spent most of the flight watching her videos (when Ann wasn’t puking up her caffeine, of course.) He made it through a few tutorials, learning a lot about not only makeup, but Bella herself. She suffers from several anxiety disorders and constantly works to better herself. She left her parents when she came out to them as bisexual, and she hasn't spoke to them or her extended family in years. She recently got out of a relationship with another YouTuber named Ethan Nestor, which was part of the reason why she spent half of 2019 in her hometown of Palm Springs. This woman has some thick skin, there was no denying that.

One of the best things that Shawn learned about Bella was that she had a butterfly tattoo on her left arm. In another video, she talked about how her viewers drew butterflies on their arms in support of her when she was down. She got it tattooed for them, and the colors of the wings were the same as the bisexual pride flag. Shawn looked at his own butterfly tattoo differently now.

The other best thing he learned was how talented of a singer Bella was. She had covers on her channel, and Shawn watched every single one. Bella had such a rich, beautiful voice, and it looked so easy for her to hit any high note. She sang Love on the Brain without any strain on her face. She sang a gayer version of You Belong with Me, and played guitar with it. She sang with Markiplier as the opening act when they were on a comedy show tour in 2018.

Shawn couldn't wait to sing with her, though he was intimidated. He thought he was a good singer, but put him next to someone with Ariana Grande levels of talent? The nerves were never ending.

It was ten til three when everyone was ready. Their only predicament was to go down to the ballroom early or not.

“Did she text you?” Aaliyah asked, clearly antsy. “Is she on her way or anything?”

Shawn shook his head. He had changed into a white tee, black jeans and a denim jacket, which the two girls approved of. “Should I message her? Or… her manager? She’s the one who made all these arrangements.”

“Hey, she might not even be here on time,” Ann said. “YouTubers are like celebrities. They run on their own schedules just because they can.”

“Bella wouldn’t do that, would she?” Aaliyah said in disbelief.

“Only one way to find out.”

And to the ballroom they went. The space was huge, clearly meant for a party. There were sheer white curtains hanging from the huge windows, and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. In the far corner of the room, tables and chairs were folded and leaning against the wall. Shawn, Aaliyah, and Ann looked around the room, all silently nervous and excited. Only a few minutes into it, they heard female voices just outside the room.

“But we’re always early! I knew I should have driven myself!”

“It’s two fifty-nine! Relax, they’re probably not even here yet!”

“Huh, I’ll be damned,” Ann mumbled, looking at her phone to verify the time.

The owners of the other two voices entered the room, carrying expensive-looking camera equipment and studio lights. They were followed by a bellhop, who was carrying a keyboard in a case. One woman was short and curvy, brown and freckled. Her short black hair was curly and glossed down, and she was wearing a bright red pantsuit.

The other woman was long and lean, decked out in a white long sleeve crop top, a black skirt, and knee high boots. Her iconic bright pink hair made a comeback, that wasn’t in her latest video. Her kind face looked airbrushed and flawless, although her brown eyes looked alarmed, like she was caught in headlights.

The first person to break the silence was the woman in red, already establishing her power. “Hello!” She held her hand out to Shawn. “I’m Sonji, I’m Bella’s manager. I believe we spoke on the phone. And on Twitter.”

“Yeah, yeah we did,” he said as they shook hands. “Uh, this Aaliyah and Ann, my sister and my girlfriend.”

“Hi, ladies!” Sonji greeted, shaking their hands as well. “So lovely to meet you! God, you’re all so pretty!”

Both girls mumbled shy thank you’s.

“Okay, so my handsome friend here and myself are going to set things up for the video,” Sonji explained. “In the meantime-” She looked at her silent client. “-Baller, come talk to your little protégé.”

Then, Sonji led the bellhop further into the room, over by the windows.

Bella still had a bag slung over her shoulder and a massive studio light stand in her hands. She was clutching it to her chest, a very performative and awkward smile etched on her bright pink lips.

“Hi!” she said after one very long second. “Uh - lemme -” She set down the giant lights and removed the bag from her shoulder. Then she stood up straight and smoothed out her hair. “Hi! Uh, I said that already!”

“I’ll say it again! Hi!” Shawn greeted, smiling politely.

Bella looked at him and opened her arms for a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

It might be weird to put it this way, but she smelled pretty. Whatever perfume she was wearing was probably more expensive than the flight over here. Shawn hugged her around her shoulders, inadvertently touching her surprisingly soft hair. You could just tell that she didn’t spare a single penny when it came to caring for herself.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to be so tall!” she said, looking up at Shawn. “For once, I’m not the tallest person in the room!”

She couldn’t have been taller than Ann, who was five foot five inches and felt very short most of the time.

“And this is the sister and the girlfriend?” Bella said, turning to the other two girls. She went to hug Aaliyah, who was more than delighted by the gesture.

Bella leaned back and took her hand. “I love your nails! Love the shape and color!” She ran her thumb over the white acrylics. “So cute!”

“Aw, thank you!” Aaliyah was beaming.

Then, Bella turned to hug Ann. It’s important to point out that in most situations, Annalise Flores is stone faced, calm, and collected. Today, however, Ann had wide eyes, like she was face the good Lord herself… like she was going to drop down on one knee and propose to Bella.

Shawn wouldn’t blame her.

“Me encanta su delineador!” Bella told her, gently cupping her face.

“En serio?” Ann softly asked.

“Yes, que linda! Those inner wings are to die for! What do you use?”

“Um.. uh, I think it’s NYX? I don’t know the exact one, but it’s definitely NYX!” Ann chuckled nervously.

“Well, it looks amazing!”

Ann looked like she was going to faint with that euphoric dazed look on her face. Thankfully, she stayed on both feet because Sonji grabbed their attention. She managed to sneak by Bella, take the lights and bag, and set them all up by the window. She also set up the keyboard, camera and two chairs. There were three other chairs behind the camera as well. Sonji was incredibly fast.

“We are all ready to go!” she said to the others.

“Shall we?” Bella gestured for the other three to go first.

Shawn, Ann, and Aaliyah went over to the set up, excitement only increasing from here.

"Were you two going to be in the video too?" Sonji asked the two girls.

They both shook their heads.

"Nervous? Don't blame you, the Internet is brutal."

That didn't help Shawn's bundle of nerves. He took a silent deep breath as he went for his guitar case while Bella sat in front of her keyboard. The Internet is brutal, and Shawn's own minuscule corner of it was safe solely because of the size. The fans he tweeted every so often were seemingly normal, and no one was overly critical about him or his music. More exposure means more space for criticism and plain old hate.

Bella had over five million subscribers, and at least forty thousand of them took an interest in Shawn over the last month and a half. It was a lot of new people to make a good impression to. He took another deep breath and removed the guitar from its case. There's no going back now.

"So, I don't want this to be a structured, planned out video," Bella explained when Shawn took the empty chair next to her. "I just want us to talk so my viewers can get to know you, and we'll sing whatever comes to mind."

"Sounds good," Shawn said, not really hearing himself.

"Now everybody - and I mean everybody - take in a deep breath."

The room was silent except for the sounds of everyone inhaling through their noses. Aaliyah and Ann still looked excited as they followed Bella's instruction. Sonji followed as well, like she had done this a thousand times.

"And exhale," Bella breathed out, and the others repeated. "Good. Get those nerves out, breathe away the anxiety. This is fun, we're having fun."

Shawn felt a little better, knowing she was just as nervous, if not more. Throughout all of Bella's mental health videos that he watched on the plane, none of them seemed to touch on how severe her own case was.

Finally, Bella addressed the camera, her soft voice suddenly projected. "Hey, it's Bella! Welcome back to my channel! Today, I'm here with a very special guest! Some of you saw me tweet a while ago…"

Oh god, what the fuck was Shawn going to say? He looked over at Ann, who smiled reassuringly and silently did the motions for deep breathing. Stay calm. You're a strong guy.

"So how long have you been making music?" Bella asked him as she mindlessly pressed keys on her keyboard.

Shawn recalled as best he could. "Uh, I sang covers when I was fifteen. Didn't make my own music until a few years later."

"Nice! Are you in school, or work or something?"

"Yeah, I'm in college. I'm majoring in music and botany."

"Oh, you like plants?"

Shawn was mildly impressed. Most people had to ask what botany is, and he would have to explain for the thousandth time. Then, he would be told to drop the music major because it's easier to find a job in plant science.

"Flowers," he clarified. "I work in a flower shop."

"That's so cool!"

The conversation got easier as time went on. Sometimes Aaliyah or Ann would chime in if they felt that Shawn was getting too confident. Bella giggled every so often, which made everyone in the room adore her even more.

Shawn was about ready to propose when Bella started playing Mercy on her keyboard and humming the beginning. He stared at her in shock for a few seconds before he played along on guitar. Hopefully that didn't look too embarrassing on camera. He listened to her voice for a moment before singing with her in the chorus.

He had plenty of questions for Bella after they went through that song. "Where did you get a voice like that?"

"I could carry a tune as a kid," she explained, "so I was put into singing classes to hone it. Then I did church choir, school choir… I just never really stopped singing." She paused and then chuckled nervously. "This is gonna sound pretentious, but I think I got this voice for a reason. Meaning, I have this platform and all these followers. I think I'm meant to use my voice for good. Help people in whatever way I can."

Shawn smiled. "That's beautiful. I see that in your videos. I kinda went on a binge on the plane."

Bella grinned.

"One thing that stood out to me…" Shawn hesitated, minding the camera and the future viewers of this video. "You are so unapologetically bisexual. You always make the point to the person you needed as a kid, because there is still so little bi representation in the media. And you decided, if no one's going to do it, then you'll do it yourself, and I think that's incredible."

"Yeah, I didn't have anyone telling me it's okay to feel what I feel, and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through as a teen."

Shawn nodded, glancing over at Ann once. He had talked about touching on this particular topic with her, and he was starting to have his own shred of doubt.

But, he learned from his girlfriend. Fuck it.

"I wish I had someone like you as a teenager," he said to Bella, strumming his guitar. "I mean, when I came out to my family, I was lucky. They were loving and accepting, but I still couldn't find anyone out there who was like me, in real life or in the media. I really wish I had found your videos sooner."

Bella was beaming. "I knew I liked you."

The two of them went back and forth between talking and singing. They compared butterfly tattoos, and then Bella was asking him about his other tats. Shawn learned a couple of Little Mix songs too, which led him to discover where his girlfriend got that fixation from. He was mostly amazed at how Bella was able to belt out song after song like it was nothing. Like she was meant for this. Why did she choose to be a makeup artist?

"Have you ever been offered a record deal?" Shawn asked. "Or thought about making your own music?"

"Mm, yes and yes," she said. "But singing is more of a hobby. I can't see myself delving into the music industry at all. Makeup is where it's at for me. Makeup got me through some of the hardest times in my life."

Shawn wouldn't say no to a record deal. He'd move to Los Angeles tomorrow if he could. He would do just about anything to play music full time. He glanced over at Ann again, who winked with a smile.

next chapter

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @justordinaryjen @chillingbythesea @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsunflower @someoneunimportantxx

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x oc #shawn meets fic #ok ok ok so theres 5 oc's total #bella is just the first n i lov her lil nervous ass sm #i wanted to bring her back for somethin like this bc i missed her n her story #and sonji is actually god herself yes its true #this wont be the last you see of either of them #if anyone wants to know more abt bella pls shoot me an ask!#next chapter is gonna be a doozy

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kaesaaurelia · 5 years

Text

a tribe foreign to the eternal lord

For @whumptober2019 day 21: laced drink.

A continuation of day 18′s fic here.

Content warning for anthropophagy (eating people) and, obviously, a laced drink.

Aziraphale/Crowley, and a demon OC, who is also Grendel’s mother.

Crowley slithered out of the big bag of humans as soon as he thought he would go unobserved, and kept close to the walls, in the shadows. The air tasted of mud and marsh when he flicked his tongue out, but also of rich spices and firewood. He seemed to be in a sort of pantry, well-stocked with onions and carrots and spices, wheels of cheese, dried fish and meat.

(He tried not to think about what kind of meat it was. Was that an entire human hand? Eugh.)

In another room, he heard the creature talking, a low rumbling like stone on stone:

"I told you I could do it!"

"And you checked they were all human?" said another voice. It was female, and gentle, and might've been mistaken for human if they had been speaking a language any living humans might know, but they were not; it was a celestial language.

The creature said "Yeah! Yeah, of course. Of course I did that."

"Sweetheart, you know you have to do that, they're no good to you if they're not human, and they might be dangerous."

"Right, which is why I did," said the creature, who was a horrible liar. The child, Crowley thought. Whatever it was -- and he had his suspicions -- it was a child. "Can I go outside now?"

"As long as you're back before dark," sighed the other voice -- the mother, he supposed.

Crowley waited a few moments to be sure the child was gone before slithering out of the sack full of humans. After a moment, Aziraphale made his way out, with some difficulty. "Ssstay here," he hissed at Aziraphale. "I'll handle thisss."

"No, no, I have a plan," said Aziraphale. Crowley didn't like the sound of that. "I'll go in, I'll explain she can't be -- can't be demoning around like this, and while she's distracted you slither out the door and then when I've got her good and frightened I'll find some excuse to leave the room and you can come in and suggest that she go back to Hell, and she'll be so pleased she has a face-saving way to leave --"

"That ssoundsss like an awful plan," Crowley said, bluntly.

"Nonsense, it'll be fine. I thought you wanted to work with me when it suited both our purposes. And this is perfect for --"

"Okay, assholes," said the female voice, from the door of the pantry. "What the fuck are you doing in my pantry?"

The demon was small and bony and pale as a cave fish, and she was letting all of her demon-ness show. Scales ran up her arms, her fingers ended in talons, and eagle's wings were folded behind her. The way she looked at him in particular reminded Crowley that sometimes eagles ate snakes.

"Oh! Nisroc! What a lovely surprise!" said Aziraphale.

Crowley gaped at him, or he would've if he'd been in a form that allowed for much facial expression.

"No, seriously, what are you doing?" she snapped. "You, come out of that snake form, it's making me antsy," she told Crowley. "And you," she said, jabbing a talon at Aziraphale. "Why are you here?"

"Well, I have -- I have, unfortunately, terribly sorry to meet under such circumstances," Aziraphale started, but Crowley turned into his more-human form and stepped in front of him before he could keep going.

"I'm Crowley," he said. "I've been sent to bring you back to Hell, on Beelzebub's orders."

Nisroc rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, she wants me to make the slow-braised stuffed human hearts for her." She turned to Aziraphale. "Your turn. What do you want? Heaven's not calling me back, are they?"

Aziraphale appeared genuinely apologetic. "No, no, I'm so sorry, I've just --”

Nisroc threw back her head and laughed.

"Joking, hon, I was joking. Nah, I'm pretty much done with them anyway. They have a lousy maternity leave policy."

"Oh dear, is that why --"

"How do you two know each other?" Crowley demanded, unable to hold himself back any longer.

"Ah. Well," said Aziraphale. "There was this fantastic restaurant in Babylon --"

"No, no," said Nisroc, "it was in Ur."

"Was it? No, you're right, I was in Babylon with somebody else," said Aziraphale.

He'd been in Babylon with Crowley, who was having some very unpleasant and hard-to-articulate feelings about this whole conversation, and he didn't like the amused look Nisroc had just shot him.

"Did they really let you go over…" Aziraphale gestured, vaguely, at his entire torso, as if he was not entirely sure where pregnancy happened; as if he had not been there at the first birth.

"No, no, they were also super mad about me pretending to be a god, which -- look, I know for a fact Michael did like a twenty-year stint as Athena. That's just double standards. Anyway, why don't we all come out into the main room, sit down, and have a drink. I have some very good ale, if you'd like. It'll be a much more pleasant conversation sitting by the fire with good drinks."

"That sounds lovely!" said Aziraphale.

Crowley could not fucking believe this. "Yeah, sure, sounds great, with you in a sec," he said to Nisroc, then pulled Aziraphale aside. "What the Heaven are you doing, she's a demon, you can't just trust her!"

"You're a demon too, you know," Aziraphale reminded him, as if he was not incredibly aware of this fact -- as if he had not had to work on Aziraphale for thousands of years to get Aziraphale to trust him. "Besides, I know her, she's not really so bad. She was an angel until a couple thousand years ago, after all."

Crowley took Aziraphale's shoulders and spun him around, and pointed out the various meats hanging in the pantry. "Not so bad?" he whispered in Aziraphale's ear.

"Well, I mean --"

"There's an entire human arm up there!" said Crowley.

"Well. That is. Yes. A bit worrisome," Aziraphale had to admit.

"Fine! Fine, you want to go have fun with your old coworker, that's fine," said Crowley. "The ale's probably drugged anyway. Or it might be made of people."

"Oh, Crowley," said Aziraphale, sounding exasperated, and went off, like an idiot, to go have drinks with a demon. Who was not him.

Crowley lurked on the sidelines for a bit, watching as Nisroc and Aziraphale had a grand old time sitting by the fire and drinking and gossiping about Heaven. At no point did Aziraphale bring up the whole eating humans thing. Fine, fine, just blunder in like an idiot, that's what got you into this mess, angel. I should never have done this, I should never have suggested the arrangement at all, he's going to be a huge liability. Crowley watched them both drink the ale with every indication of enjoyment, and Aziraphale had even complimented its flavor, so Crowley supposed he'd been wrong about the poison, which somehow made him even more irritated.

"Are you going to join us, Crawly, or are you going to sulk?" Nisroc said.

"It's Crowley," snapped Crowley.

"Oh, sorry, I must have misheard," said Nisroc. "Come on, come sit down, have some ale." She smiled broadly; she had... a lot of teeth. "I won't bite."

"Fine, yes, give me a mug," said Crowley, and he sat, and he drank his ale, and he really liked it, which made him even unhappier. Nisroc kept smirking at him like she knew what he was thinking, which she probably did, she could probably feel waves of irritation coming off of him, and that made him even more annoyed and determined to annoy back. "So I couldn't help but noticing, you've got an awful lot of human meat in the pantry."

"Is there something wrong with that?" Nisroc asked.

"Well -- well, actually, that's sort of what I've been sent to deal with," said Aziraphale, who was finally remembering that he was supposed to disapprove of Nisroc in general. "It is, actually, it's very -- well. It's extremely wrong. I'd think that would be obvious."

"My son has special dietary requirements," said Nisroc, as though that excused anything.

Crowley felt he should jump in now. "Right, look, that's all well and good -- ill and bad --"

"I know what you mean," said Nisroc, "don't worry about the stupid Infernal style guide. Look. I don't love it, I'm not proud of it, but it's what he needs to survive so I'm going to keep doing it. Grendel's a good boy." The spike of fear and anger he felt from her suggested this was actual, genuine sentiment.

A proper demon would've pressed the subject further, perhaps threatened to reveal the child's existence to Hell, or suggested that loyalty to one's offspring should pale before one's loyalty to Satan, or offered some sort of amnesty for the child that was well outside of his ability to guarantee.

Crowley was a proper demon, but he also appreciated nuance. "Look. The angel here needs to deal with whatever's eating people. I need to bring you back to Hell to make the stuffed hearts thing for Beelzebub. Neither of us wants to threaten you, but frankly I think it'd be better for you and the kid if you just came clean about him and the both of you came back to Hell with me."

"Absolutely not," said Nisroc. "He's not going to Hell."

"Well then, leave him up here for a while and --"

"I'm not abandoning my child," said Nisroc, raising her wings a bit.

Crowley was, he reminded himself, absolutely a proper demon; the fact that he was feeling a little dazed was probably just because it'd been a long, weird day already. "I can watch him for a while?" he blurted out.

Aziraphale stared at Crowley; Nisroc just started laughing. "No, definitely not."

"Well do you want the angel to smite the both of you? Because he will," said Crowley. "Look, I'm good with kids, I can --"

"Aziraphale's going to smite me?" Nisroc asked. "Aziraphale's a marshmallow."

"Excuse me, I am not," said Aziraphale, looking affronted. "I'd just prefer not to smite if it's possible to avoid it."

"What's a marshmallow?" Crowley asked.

Aziraphale and Nisroc exchanged a horrified look. "You've never had a marshmallow?" Nisroc asked.

"Oh, they're so good, someday you must try them," said Aziraphale, brightening.

Crowley took another swig of his ale. "Are we talking about the flowers, because --"

"No, no, no," said Nisroc, "the roots, you make candy out of the roots and it's --"

"Oh, it's delicious," said Aziraphale.

"It really is," said Nisroc.

Crowley hated them both so much right now. He downed the rest of his ale and slammed down the mug. "Whatever! The point iss, I'm offering you a great deal and, and…" He was feeling woozy, for some reason. "And."

"Crowley, are you all right?" Aziraphale asked, looking concerned.

Nisroc did not look concerned in the least. She smiled at him. She had so many goddamn teeth.

Crowley tried to stand. "It'sss find, I'm fine, I'm --" He sat down again.

Aziraphale looked sharply at Nisroc. "What did you do to him?"

"Not fine, actually," said Crowley, taking great pains to articulate. He was dizzy now. "Did. Did you poissson me?" he asked Nisroc, although, really, of course she had. Everything seemed to be going slowly now, and all his limbs felt heavy and weird.

Aziraphale stood, knocking his stool over, and drew a knife on Nisroc, who only laughed.

Crowley slumped forward onto the table. Aziraphale was shouting something now, but he couldn't understand it at all.

#good omens #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #whumptober2019 #no.21 #cw: cannibalism #cw: drugs #text #fiction #kaesa op #my ocs

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zombeamik · 5 years

Text

OKAY LIVE REACTION TO RIKAS BACKSTORY DLC HERE WE GO

okay so spoilers again lol

okay so i thought when you played the scret ending 1? riaks backstory was free? e-e

HAHA NVM WAS JUST THE FIRST EPISODE time to go buy 330 hour glasses ANYWAYS

okay seriosuly thing for people who dont like Rika, for what she did. You should honestly play her backstory.. it really could clear some things up for you, and it may chnage your mind, just abit hopefully.

you shouldnt just say no to story, just because you don’t like her.

Of course, if you really dont want to read it fine, but it can probably really help.

Episode 1

this god lady sounds like Jaehee tbh SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH Mina is Rikas real name :3 How cute already liking this. WONT BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE RETS OF IT THOUGH

Mina/Rika, they really didnt deserve what happened to them.

HOLY FCUK I HONESTLY THOUGHT MIKA WAS FUCKING RIKA BUT IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND OKAY OR AM I GETTING TI MIXED UP?

okay gotta buy 330 hours glasses but THEN ILL CONTINUE MY REACTION

OKAY IM BACK TO REACT AND TO CRY OKAY COOL

the game didnt like me buying more hourglasses o it decided to messwith mu audio.

okay had to restart my phone THANKS ANOTHER SETBACK

Episode 2

okay so, i like Mika back here. BUT WHAT I SAW IN THE V ROUTE, thats not cool Mika. you were kinda okay? you were already a little manipulative to a three year old. “My little sister, should always have short hair” how about you shut up. Twins? All she ever wated was to be loved and not taken away from her “Twin”, Maybe thats why she cared so much for Saeran and Saeyoung before she ddi what she did. Mika no, no. You’re the one who put those awful things in Minas/Rikas mind ugh okay i go back to not liking her, that was very fast.

Okay grown up Rika/Mina, okay rika i like you when you arent doing ur creepy eyes. UGH honestly im so mad at Mika, honestly the fuck. CUTE PICTURES OF V AND RIKA YES okay i know, i like V and all but tbh they were cute together.

excuse me V you shouldve said THATS WHY I ADORE UR SUN BC THATS ALL SHE NEEDED TO HEAR, she didnt want to hear that you loved her because of her darkness. She wnated someone to love her, or show her a tiny bit of warmth so she could find the light inside her. So, so far, Mika is the one who introducded her to this “darkness” SO UNLESS RIKAS BACKSTORY CAN GIVE ME A REASON TO NOT DISLIKE MIKA AND FORGIVE HER I WILL GLADLY TAKE IT.

Episode 3

THATS THE FIRST THING I OPEN UP TO?

UR SO CREEPY, WHY DID GOD SEND YOU? THE FUCK WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE YOU

sorry what?

Mina, Serena

Im glad she went with Rika, I like Mina, but Rika ive gotten used to it. Maybe she’ll go back to Mina one day?

Oh. Okay i dont like Rika/Mina/Serena’s Mother. and the pastor, no wonder she started a cult, i mena look at his outfit. WHAT KIND OF SHITTY PASTOR ARE YOU

NO WONDER SHE STARTED A FUCKING CULT, YOU ARE ALL DOUCHEBAGSSSSSSSS

“NEEDS ALOT OF PRAYERS” how about you shut up, man, Pastor my fucking ass, Devil worshipper is more fucking likely.

excuse me pastor, your voice in my ears IS FUCKING CREEPY DO YOU MIND

UR LIKE A PERVERT

“ your body has grown, is it satan?” HOW ABOUT YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LEAVE HER ALONE

yep, i fully understamd now why she created a cult. okay im only on 3 of 8 but still

EXCUSE ME LADY, YOUR DAUGHTER CLEARLY SAID NOT O GOING WITH THE PASTOR LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS AND DONT BE A RUDE BITCH

I THOUGHT WE WERE LOOKING FOR HER FATHER?

WHY DID WE FIND MIKA IM SO CONFUSED

oh, her dads the head of the hospital, okay. all good.

YEAH YOU TELL HIM MIKA

YEAH THANK YOU NURSE KICK HIM OUT P[LEASE

WEEE THANKS NURSE

she just wnated to be free from hatred?

BUT NOBODY WOULD ALLOW HER, THEY KEPT PUSHING HER FURTHER INTO THE DARKNESS

okay gone back to not liking Mika just abit

oh.

now i dont know?

Episode 4

THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR EITHER

Mika had cacner in her eyes.

Mika lived a while though, so her dad must have paid the bills.

MIKA LIED ABOUT THE PHONE NUMBER AND THE ADRESS THE FCUK

Did she really grow up at the orphange? PROBABLY FUCKING NOT

I was just feeling sad for her, but then she did that.

WAIT RIKA HONEY NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Oh.

so she made V blind because of that?

PUPPY

okay no, no new puppy then.

MS. HEAD OF THE RFA

no v, shes brainwashed him.

THE BOTANICAL GARDEN

No V you should focus on saeyoung because ive turned saeran into somebody i regret now.

Rika no.

you didnt have to shut everyone out,

he asked you to leave?

Ugh im so confused?

WELL MIKA WAS RIGHT TEACHER THEY WERE BAD PARENTS

GROSS PASTOR PLEASE DONT SAY LITTLE LABM AROUND MINA, THATS CREEPY

Oh.

right yeah, she only separated saeran and saeyoung because of their parents.

Mika, why.

she didnt have to lie about the orphanage, and then why you said you made Rika think it was all her fault, and then ugh

A FUCKING PUPPY

WAIT SALLY

SHUT UP MOTHER, ITS A CUTE DOG AND WE BOTH LOVE IT

YEAH SALLY YOU GROWL AT HER

Oh.

I KNEW IT

the pastor is a creep, a pervert, child molester

EXCUSE ME MOTHER?

THATS THE FUCKING RITUAL TO GET SATAN OUT OF HER?

EXCUSE ME THAT IS FUCKING ILLEGAL PASTOR OR NOT

dont fucking freak out, you told her to leave because you didnt want sally in the house and now your like THE FUCK YOU GOING SERENA HUH? ugh

Rika no, that isnt the right choice.

EXCUS ME MIKA DIED?

THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS THERE WHEN RIKA WAS OLDER

DID MIKA LIE ABOUT DYING?

SALLY UR SO CUTE

oh bad momesnt to mention sally being cute.

listen, all rika every wanted was to love someone.

defo a cult, Believer’s? This some sort of god cult.

WAIT NO SALLY DONT CRY

oh she was 16.

oh dear.

well that was a roller coaster

Episode 5

great she started working a church, and became a nun. even more fantastic

OH SWEET HER NAME IS FINALLY RIKA

I do like the names Mina and Serena but still Rika.

well wjat she thought she was doing was okay. Not wanting anyone to be abandoned?

she just uh turned it into something alot bigger than helping out at a church

She only treated people the way she did was because she didnt know how loving parents acted, so what she thought she was doing was right to her, since she didnt know anything else.

okay so shes 18.

and she wnated to shoe people her light instesd fo her darkness

AN THEN SHE MEETS V

OH THE CLOUD PHOTO, man when she looked at it she said Mother, because thats the first thing that came to mind.

SHE JUST WNATED TO BE A SUN BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW

SAEYOUNG

WHY DOES TINY SAEYOUNG SOUND LIKE BIG SAEYOUNG

yeah she thought that of she didnt protect saeyoung he’d rot just like Mika.

heh

Oh.

she could see her and mIka in him so she grew attached

she onyl wanted to do good

Rika the Angel but she thought of herself as Rika the Devil ok

Episode 6

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSUNG

okay so she didnt want yoosung to find out about her darkness

Rika honey, its okay. he still would ahve loved you.

Okay so Oh got it okay.

Yoosung is the son of rikas mothers sister,

SHE WAS SO WORRIED HE’D BE RUINED IF HE STAYED CLOSE

RIKA NO DONT OUT YOURSELF DOWN

YOU’RE EQUAL TO YOOSUNG D:

REUSING PHOTOS ARENT YOU CHERITZ OK

BUT HYE V

she couldnt feel anything? well V is both light and dark rika.

man v still doesnt know rikas real name BUT WE DOOOOO

episode 7

Man v ur kinda smooth with words but at the same time like you just met.

V MAKE UP UR FUCKING MIND

okay so she modelled for V and then when she was doing that they didnt talk much? man V atleast tell her she did good. how rude.

ZENNNN

v the fuck you didnt even say goodbye, just IM GONNA GO GRAB MY CAMERA AND THEN FCUKING WALK OFF

V no.

you didnt even compliment her or anything, you just said heres lets take pictures but we aint gonna talk and thn when your done, i aint gonna say you did well or anything like that.

V you kinda an asshole.

NO SALLY

okay shes fine.

V was just curious about me because im not like the rest”

kinda sounds like it,

YES RIKA YOU DO DESERVE THE SUN HONEY

YOU ARE THE SUN I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS

oh so it was Mina that wanted to be loved.

well shes still a prt of you rika, so that measn you wanted to be loved aswell.

okay so she stopped visiting V

V came to visit her

make up your fuckingmind V

“Heathen Cult”

well yeah basically.

JUMIN

V WHAT THE FUCK

“ can you show me how dark you are?”

HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NO

SHE CLEARLYT SAID NO V

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING PUSH HER TO SHOW YOU

okay all good

she told V everything

and she scared she;ll end up like Mika.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ANOTHER V AND RIKA PHOTO

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS

WAIT HONEY DONT CRY

MINA YEEE

LAST EPISODE

wow thats fast.

okay so saeyoung went abroad and then she stopped disagreeing when saeren was saved

then she met Jumin a year later, sweet.

HAPPY ENDING

WELL YOU HAVE ONE NOW RIKA UR HAPPY AND YEEE

okay so then she got her aparement

and then she dint know if things to turn to the worst or the best

well id say the worst but you did save alot of people.

you may have brainwashed them but they would ahve probably died without her help.

MIKA UR STILL ALIVE

UR BLIND THO

YUP OKAY GOT IT

MIKA DIDNT TURST V SO RIKA WAS LIKE OK YEAH I DONT EITHER BC UR ALWAYSSSSSS RIGHT

right.

Mina believed her.

so she agreed.

SO CUTE

WHAT

MIKA NO

USE SAERAN AND YRUN HIM INTO A HACKER

HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP MIKA

IM BACK TO NOT LIKING YOU

MINA

YOU

YOU MANIPULATED MINA INTO DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK

SHE TRUSTED AND YOU

AND YOU USED HER

“I must not use that boy. I must save him”

WELL THANK YOU RIKA

what kind of bullshit is that.

WELL YOU SHOULD DEFIENTLY TELL V BUT WHEN MIKA SAY NO YOU GOTTA AGREE BECAUSE MINA TRUSTS HER

EXCUS EME RIKA

MINA WAS THE LIGHT

mika is the dark

mika just please shut up.

okay she died. thats sad but like

NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID

CUTE PHOTO OF RIKA YES

Thoughts

thst was um

one crazy ride

AND I WAS THERE FOR IT

so glad i read it.

even if you dont like rika at all

please do

its worth it.

as you can see my thoughts were jumbled in the actual live reaction

but it makes alot of sense kind aof?

im to lazy to write a review so thats the best you’re gonna get.

Its really good, to actually understand why Rika/Mina/Serena turned out the way she was.

i mena i already forgave her in the V ending

but even though she did those bad things, if someone just loved her and didnt feeed her with horrible views of the world, she was still a caring girl even though the darkness took a hold of her,

Im not glad of what happened to her, but if it didnt we would have never even met anyone. so as mucha s i hate to say it, im glad of what happened, and 100% glad we could help her through with it.

Okay, well that was fun.

#mystic messenger #rika dlc #rika #V #saeran #saeyoung #spoilers

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sa1bo · 6 years

Note

Y'all got any other anime recs?

i can just give ya all my fav anime fdfhdghk

TLDR;

sailor moon*

inuyasha

digimon*

Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne

Ao no Exorcist / Blue Exorcist*

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (16+)*

Kill la Kill (16+)*

My Hero Academia (duh)*

Danganronpa

Tiger and Bunny*

(anime with a * have GREATLY influenced my art and or writing style and idea of what a good story is; AKA THOSE ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVES)

longer explanations under the cut

Sailor Moon (the oringinal one from the 90s; watch as sub if u want to go in all serious, but the dub is fun too if u like watching it more relaxed ((or with friends bc shits funny)))it has 200 Episodes and 5 MoviesThere IS a remake but I’d say watch that after you’ve seen the original.Summary:Usagi Tsukino is a normal 14 year old girl.. she’s like you and me... sleeps in, loves to eat sweets, loves to play video games, has bad grades, kinda nervous about making friends, kinda broke and just wants to have a good time. But one day her life turns over when suddenly she’s supposed to become a magical girl to defend Tokyo from evil and find a mysterious princess from the moon. (this also involves a talking cat how cool is that)Noteworthy mentions: gay and trans characters? hell yeah! (even if they join the party really late)

Inuyasha! I never saw the english dub, nor japanese dub so no info on which one to watch. just go with preferencehas 193 Episodes.Summary: Kagome Higurashi is yet again an average girl; but she lives at a shrine that has been home to her family for a long time. One day she falls into the well inside the shrine when trying to get her cat (iirc i didnt watch it in 10 years oops) and ends up waking up in feudal japan. She doesn’t really know what happened but thats when she meets inuyasha, who is nailed to a tree with a magical arrow. She saves him and that’s kinda how their destinies collide. again; inuyasha is a half-demon who jumps into fights with a huge fucking sword and its a tru adventure.

Digimon!All digimon seasons should be watched in japanese (or german or latinx spanish (because other languages like english and french did not use the japanese soundtrack. and the english soundtrack is HORRIBLE. bad. hideous. please watch in japanese, german or latinx spanish.)You should start watching Digimon Adventure (1 and 2 and 3)but those two together will be 130 Episodes (and this shit is 3 seasons) jkafhaskjafter seeing season 1 and 2 you should watch the Digimon Movie (my fav movie of all times) and THEN move on to Digimon Adventure triThis is the original digimon series and you don’t NEED to watch it to udenrstand the many reboots, but it’s nice to have seen it to get the references (plus its just REALLY REALLY GOOD!)[theres a lot of gay tension between certain characters but canonically ofc its not happening I GUESS but whatever them gay]Once u got all those down you can watch Digimon Tamers!It has 54 Episodes and is my personal fav season! Takato is a dreamer like you and me and he wants fictional characters to be real! He makes a fucking digimon OC and!?!? IT COMES TO LIFE!!!!!!!!! this season is so fucking good yall. It’s so good.I personally don’t like Digimon Frontier but if u want to give it a try go ahead! The kids THEMSELVES turn into digimon here! idk how many episodes it has tbh but the soundtrack is a bop.Digimon Data Squad is also really good!! the characters are more grown up and the approach is generally a tad more mature (to tamers is also pretty mature considering those are like 12) data squad has 48 Episodesanything after that i didnt rly bother watching but if ya want u can check it out

Kamikaze Kaito Jeannea magical girl anime that i liked a lot as a kid? didnt watch it anymore since 2012 but i have fond memoriesimagine that god himself assigned magical girls?44 episodes, watch in japanese

Ao no Exorcist / Blue Exorcist25 Episodes of the original anime; after epsiode 17 the anime does it’s own thing, not following the mangaWatch season 2 after episode 17 (or finish the first anime first, and then watch Kyoto Saga; and then read the manga (it’s still ongoing iirc? my adhd ass didnt finish the manga yet so idk))The anime is about Rin Okumura, who turns out to be the son of satan. Instead of accepting his fate though, he decides to become an exorcist, and not just any normal exorcist, but an exorcist so powerful that he will defeat satan personally.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica12 episodes and a movie of magical girl adventure.it will get VERY FUCKED UP so if ur very sensitive or death/unreality triggers u then us houldnt watch it.I’d say u need to be very mature to stomach this.But it’s oh so worth it. One of my all time favourite anime!!!!!!

Kill la KillAgain for mature audiences (mostly because of the very suggestive outfits and the high amounts of blood. also trigger warning for pedophilia and parent abuse and incest :((( its all just one episode where it happens but its. its bad. (the evil doer dies in the end tho. die bitch.))24 episodesand an OVA!amazing soundtrack, characters and story! (we like to joke that this is basically SA2 but with lesbian human shadow the hedgehog jakshfaskj)

If ur following this blog ur already watching My Hero Academia, and if not wHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON THIS BLOG IN THE FIRST PLACE???????????

if u want to u can watch the first dangan ronpa anime (and after that watch playthroughs of the games) !warning theres lots and lots of blood and death and the first game/anime is a little transphobic, and Girls Stop Having Giand Bobbies Challenge but i promise its a good series with a really in depth story and characters!!(if u want to know more about what order to watch all the shit hmu after u finished the anime)

if you like My Hero Academia you MUST (i repeat MUST) watch Tiger and Bunny25 Episodes and 2 movies of super hero goodness. It’s MHA but with adults. Gay and trans characters? Hell yeah! Did the creators of the anime drink respect poc juice? YES!

i bet theres more but im so tired.................... ask me fore specific genres and i’ll have a rec some other time

#long post #Anonymous #ask

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the-ultimate-pie-family · 3 years

Text

The black coats returns part 1

BCP: *throws blood and surprise jr on the ground* u two will never learn u can't beat me *summons keyblade*

Belinda: *appears stabbing the black coat with her angel keyblade*

BCP: *coughs up black blood* w-who r u?

Belinda: I'm the armageddon angel and this is my family

BCP: *spin kicks Belinda*

Belinda: *blocks ripping its leg off*

Blood: now beat it with it's own leg

Surprise jr: now!!!

Belinda: *beats the black coat to a bloody mess*

*days have passed since Belinda and her dad and uncle killed the black coats*

Jerak: mom?

Galaxia: huh? Yes?

Pheadra: mom where daddy and sissy and uncle?

Galaxia: i don't know they never came home

*meanwhile in a calming area in a another universe*

Surprise jr: brother?

Blood: shhh she's waking up

Belinda: *sits up* wat happened? Where am i?

Blood: a safe area we been here for a couple of days till u woke up

Belinda: i been asleep f9r how many days?

Surprise jr: twelve

Belinda: twelve days?

Blood: don't worry sweetie the family is ok

Belinda: im worried dad wat if i can't control her again?

Surprise jr: that's why were here where u can train to control this angel

Belinda: but uncle i don't know how it happened

Blood: don't worry it's not easy being a vessel to more powerful creature

Angel: *takes control* fuck u both she doesn't have to take this from two mortal like u guys

Satan: *takes control* don't u speak to my brother like that u worthless piece of trash

Angel: *falls in fear* u-u-ur the devil?

Satan: yeah so wanna make a deal slut?

God: brother stop miss???

Angel: my lord i am not worthy to be here

God: up my child me and my brother have to train u both but first u must know eather other Belinda stand beside the angel

Belinda: *walks to the side* wat the how?

Blood: *walks to the side* hi there sweetie

God: now remember mortal take the angel to train and the gods takes the moratl to train

Surprise jr: just remember u two hurt my niece in any way I'll make sure u suffer satan *low blows satan watching him* remember ur my bitch

Blood: *tackles gods face dropping him to the ground* if anything happens to my daughter I'll make ur life terrible and no mercy *blasts god breaking his jaw walking to the angel* move!!!!! cunt!!!!!

Belinda: *shaking in fear from wat blood and surprise did*

Surprise jr: bel?

Belinda: *jumps a little* oh uncle wats wrong?

Surprise jr: *hugs Belinda* have faith *runs to blood and the angel*

Belinda: ????? *looks up at god and satan* hi?

God: *turns a normal size*

Satan: *does the same* ok Belinda u ready?

BCP: *appears* finally

Satan: fuck i tho she killed it?

God: shit Belinda run

Satan: brother we need her

God: no we can't use her as a vessel we might actually kill her

BCP: *summons keyblade walking slowly to them* take ur time won't help u at all haha

Belinda: wat could really happen?

Satan: ur body could time to dust

God: that's why we can't

Belinda: do it both of u

Satan: i was just joking no no

God: do it we have if we get captured blood and surprise die

Satan: damn it ok fine same time brother

*god and satan entered Belinda*

Belinda: ahhh *feel her body tiring apart* ahhhh

BCP: *stabs Belinda with keyblade* too late *drives the keyblade deeper kicking her to the ground* time to die *goes to stomp on her head*

Blood: Belinda!!! brother throw me

Surprise jr: but?

Blood: now!!!!! U scum!!!!!

Angel: *throw blood at the black coat*

Blood: *tackles the black coat beating it's face* die u son of a bitch

Surprise jr: *touches Belinda taking satan back* face my wrath!!!!! *jumps on the black coat*

Blood: *runs to Belinda* Belinda speak to me *touch Belinda taking god back*

Angel: *goes back in Belinda*

Belinda: *starts breathing again* w-wat happened?

Blood: don't worry but u need to get home now

Belinda: b-but but

Blood: now

Angel: *teleports Belinda home*

Galaxia: Belinda how?

Tag for @ask-the-equuleus-verse

#Spotify

0 notes

cavumink · 6 years

Photo

Chapter 1 (The Pain of New Power) To be honest, I don't know how to start this tale; it all happened so quickly. The blood... The screams.... and then the tears shead from senseless killing. Three children were born into this world; the first with brown hair and green eyes, followed by another pale but still the same with hair as dark as the night. Then- after more screams and bloodshed later a third was born, a child with eyes of blood and fangs of a monster. The three children held a sinister purpose. The first born named Wrath, the second born, pale white child, was given the name of Envy; the final the child was named Desire. Three names. Three sins. One mother and her three children. And I am her servent- the one delivered the three. My name is Ollie the demon cat, servent to Lady Death herself and overseer of the her children. The next day had come and my Lady was weary, her power drained, her body weak... Even being a servent I felt concern for her. As she lay there resting away the pain from her labors, I tended to her new borns. Looking back now I wonder how such innocent, little beings could have become so evil! The oldest looked upon me from his crib, his emerald eyes seeming to pierce through my very being as though he wasn't looking at me for what I was- but who I was. However, that wasn't all I felt from this child's gaze; I was afraid. Me- a demon- afraid of a small child I was tasked to protect. As the child's tired eyes slowly closed I felt as though I had escaped the from the claws of Satan himself. I couldn't believe such a young child could hold such power over a creature such as myself. Then again, this wasn't ant ordinary child I was dealing with. After I calmed my nerves, I began tending to the others when suddenly I noticed that Desire was gone. I was almost frantic as I searched throughout the room, becoming extremely worried of what my Lady would do to me if she found out I had lost one of her spawn. Even in her weakened condition, I dared not to make her furious with me. "Hehehee!" Suddenly I heard his laughing coming from my Lady's bed chamber. As I enter I was washed with relief to see my young master being fed by his mother. "Ollie, my dear servent, you look as though you've been chased by Cerberus," she teased. "My Lady, I feared the worst," I sighed out. "Oh, Ollie, you should know better then to think of my spawn as mere human children. You know they are more than they appear." That was my Lady, care free and charasmatic until the end. "Now be a good kitty and make me something to eat. I'm famished.~" "Uh- Yes my lord, right away!" I resonded, scrambling off with heat growing in my face. _____________________________________________ Chapter 2 (Overseeing Madness) It was a week later from the date my young masters were born into this world. Yes, one whole week of feeding... playing.... and, ugh, diaper changing! And it never stopped there. The day before, I found Master Envy on the kitchen counter top throwing knifes at the estate's cook and pinning him against the wall like a circus knife man. "Ah! HELP ME," the cook screamed as I caught master Envy's blade a mere half an inch from his nose. "Great God! Thank you, Master Ollie. I really thought my goose was cooked!" Scraps is also a demon cat. I met him in Italy working as a cook after he got fired for adding mice to the weekend special sauce. Strangely enough, every worker under Lady Death's estate is a demon cat of some special talent. Scraps being a master chef, I've only had to stop him from adding mice to the menu ten times so far. "Oh my word, I'm so sorry Master Ollie," apologized a demon cat rushing into the kitchen with a frantic look on her face. "I thought little Lord Envy was asleep!" This is my assistant, Shadey. "Don't worry; it's quite all right. I understand how much of a handful our new little Lords are. But I asure the both of you we'll all become used to them.... hopefully." "Eh, master Ollie?" "Yes, Scraps, what is it?" "Could you be so kind as to unpin me from the wall, please?" A nervous sweat dripped down her forehead. "Don't worry, I'll get him down," Shadey promised as she struggled to pull the knifes from the wall. "Well while you two figure that out, I'll just go see how the rest of our little lords are doing." I made my way out the kitchen with Lord Envy in my hands, only to stumble upon Lord Wrath playing in the garden. "Hello, Master Ollie. Were you looking for Lord Wrath?" I turned to see another estate hand standing behind me, a small smile on their face. "Yes, Mittens, where did you find him?" "Oh, you know these younglings, they'll crawl anywhere if you don't keep an eye out for them," the servant giggled. Suddenly a loud clash of steal and chains came from nowhere as I realized which one of my Lords were missing. "I guess that's little Lord Desire, Ollie." "Sadly I think you are right Mittens..." I sighed, walking towards the old armory with my eye twitching. Please just be a coincidence, I prayed, only to be greeted by the blast of bullet fire from the inside. "Hehehehee!" "It seems he had found the gun vault," I deadpanned making Mittens chuckle. "Really ,master Ollie, now what gave you that idea," the lower servant replied with a sarcastic purr. "Mittens do me a favor and shut it," I snapped, already a bit stressed. Calming down my final lord wasn't an easy task in the least. After about ten minutes of dodging bullets, grenades, and God knows what else Lady Death stored in that vault, I retrieved him. "Well, well, well, Ollie. Looks like you're a bit worn out today!" I'm greated by the oldest of us, elder Dusty. Yes, his name really is Dusty. "Oh," I exclaimed, straightening up in the presence of my elder. "Good evening, sir. Did your muscles give you pain today," I asked in my torn attire. "No, Ollie," he laughed. "I'm just here to see our Lady's little lords." "Well, they're all here and accounted for," Mittens said in her cheerful voice. "Uh, Mittens? You seem to be missing two things at the moment." "Huh? What do you mean by that?" She looked down. "Oh! Was I supposed to be keeping an eye on them?" _______________________________________________ Chapter 3 - Sorrows of the Estate It had been five years since those fond and playfully deadly days and the young lords grew as children do. Their minds were all wondering about the world around them and they were barely able to form sentences but they still talked and asked questions. I remember young Lord Envy always questioning why his sibling Wrath got more of Scraps's cookies than he did. I can recall Lord Desire acting gentlemanly towards all the female demon cats of the estate. I remember the tears ahead. The day the young masters were taken from us. "Hello? Is someone there?" I looked around carefully, snapping my fingers to light up the corridors. Must have been my imagination, I inwardly remarked, carrying on to the master bedroom to see if they were sound asleep per Lady Death's orders. "Hm... sweet dreams, my little masters," I whispered as I closed the door. "So these are the children. The ones spoken of through heaven and hell alike." I burst back in to find the one I senced. The arch angel. "Gabriel, what do you think you're doing here," I demanded. "I'm here on a quest, to rid this world of evil," the Arch Angel replied simply. "There is no evil here, Gabriel. Only the children of my master... Do you mean to tell me you wish to kill them?" "If that is what must be done to save the balance, then yes, you demon filth! I shall slay the offspring of death in His honor!" "If this is you're way to bring you're so called God-Glory, then I hope he takes you're wings for it!" The snap of my fingers echoed through the room as the children dissapeard, three cat demon gaurds taking their place. "What is it you wish of us, General Ollie," one questioned, a ferocious look of hatred aimed towards Gabriel. "So you're General Ollie, head of the hell cats clan. It is such a high honor... and I shall be the one to slay you!" Gabriel lunged me only to have his sword stopped by three more. "If you want to make death of our general Gabriel, then you're going to have to try harder!" With the sound if a war cry the three soilders attacked the Arch Angel at once. "Hold him at bay," I barked out the order with no hesitation. "I must warn the Lady Death that he has come for her children!" "The children are with her," Gabriel thought aloud wit a smirk. "Well then, why am I playing with you beasts?" With in a quick flash of light the three solider lay on the ground, and I shocked and furious at the sight of my fallen comrades as he begins to shift. "You bastard! If you want my Lords, then defeat me!" My voice deepened and a roar escaped my lips, echoing throughout the estate signaling danger. "DIE YOU COWARD!" As demonic claws and angelic metal clashed, more of Ollie's soldiers stormed into Lady Death's chambers. "What's going on where's Ollie?" Lady Death demanded, frantically her holding her spawn close. "General Ollie has engaged in battle with Gabriel. He has come for your offspring and wishes to slay them in God's honor," a soilders answers immediately. The blunt explanation shocks her. "Gabriel has come for my children?" ________________________________________________ Chapter 3 - (Sorrows of the Estate) part two As my claws clashed with his angelic metal, i felt as though he were still toying with me as we fought. Why are you holding back Gabriel? I know youre not giving me ur all so quit ur game and fight me!!! Oh my Lord havent u figured it out yet? he exclaimed to me in a light tone. its obvious as to why, im not Master Gabriel! as the words came from is mouth the angel revealed his true form to me. Im one of his elite guardian angels, more then a match for you're pathetic soliders! I AM UUGGHH!! I dont give a dam who you are! i said with my hand pierced into his chest grasping his grace, ready to kill him. Now tell me you pathetic whelp!! WERE IS GABRIEL?! As i ask in my furious rage i heard the screams of my Lady echoing form her chambers. Lady death no it cant be! Yes it can you pathetic demon scum, why do you think it was so easy to find me. he ask grabbing the collar of my coat. I was just the decoy all along! Hahahaa! HAHAHAAA!! UUUUAAGGHHH!!! dam...you... he heaved as i pulle my fist out from his chest, his grace glowing in my hand as i made my way to the ladys chambers as fast as my powers would enable me. Master Ollie!! one of my soliders came to me. Im afraid i have terrible news my master... our lords they.. they.... Spit it out already!! i yelled in my furious rage. M-Master... their gone... Gabriel has taken them!! The feeling know to you humans as shock spread across my face as it these word echoed in my ears. Solider gather ur comrades! But Master Ollie we cant... Silence!! Go and gather all ur comrades and tell them to meet at the front gate, for the first time in a millennium. The Demon Cat clan is leaving the estate to reclaim what has been taken form us.... ______________________________________________ Chapter 4 ( The unraveling of power) Its been eighteen years since that tragic day, I was beginning to think as I walk along earths empty streets behind a school yard. My master had been gone for so long. It was until my army found Gabreil and tortured him for answers, but were told he threw them into the streams of time. Never to be seen again as long as we all would live. My mistress cry apoun hearing this news, her sarrows grew even deeper. As did her hatred for her own kind. Poor lady death, if I could have been their sooner to stop gabreil none of this would have happened... But at last it did. As I poundered threw my feeling a greife now at he front of the school, only to be scared outta my wits as a long car drove at me. I ducked just in time for it to pass over my head, when I sinced something... Familiar as the back of the vehicle went over my head and parked a few feet away in front of the schools main entrance. What's is this? I questioned the feeling of fimiliarity as I walked over to what all most sent my demon head flying, snkffing at the side of it trying to pick up on what I senced before. Was it just my imagination? It couldn't have been, I must have been scared... I shighed before turning around to be greatted by a boy in red pin strips. Hi there little guy, are you ok? My driver didn't hit you did he? As the mysterious boy picked me up I felt it again, the strong sensation of power that over whelmed me before. Its ok little guy ur ok now. He smiled with a fang filled grin as his. Master Oliver I implore you put that thing down, god knows how long its been a stray! Calm urself Lee! If he were a stray he wouldn't be so clean, now apologize for almost hitting him or else! I..I.. But master Oliver? The boys eyes looked at his servent like razors to cutting threw his soul. Aahhh! the boys servent shreiked as he stared at him. Do I have to repeat myself Lee? N-n-n-no sir master Oliver! I'm sorry Mr.cat I didn't mean to almost hit you we were just in a rush to get here on time!! Good lee! Now take the limo home and have it nice and waxed up for when you come to pick me up. I have a feeling today's going to be really intresting. The young master started to walk towards the school with me in his hands. M-master oliver, I'm sorry but they don't allow pets in the school... Oh? And why would they not allow that? My father owns this place doesent he? He said in a dull unamused tone. Y-yes my young master but its the rules of the board of education. You can't just break them whenever you like... Unfortuneatly that's exactly what I can do, and if I chose to bring my new pet into the my fathers school which he owns. Then who has the right to say other wise? The boy replied in his coky manner as he walk in with me in his hands. The hall littered with humans from hallway to hallway, greeting the one I had come to know as oliver. They all seemed to worship him like a prince, I even saw him taunt one paticular human he found threatening another one wearing the same attire. You hear me Walton! I want you to stay away from my girl, no arguing you got that!!?? Or else me and the guys are gonna make sure you don't play another game of lacrosse again! The boy they were threatening just walked away paying them no mind as my apparent new owner walked up behind him placing his hand on the trouble makers shoulder. Now now my good boy, that wouldn't be a threat now would it? a sudden chill ran down the trouble makers spine as he heard my masters shuttle tone toward his words, as a look of fear and shock spread across his face. O-oliver? W-w-when did you get back from Germany? Oh I've been back in town for a while Michelle, i just didn't feel like coming to school was all. Being the son of the principle who owns this town has benefits like that. And also if I wanted to I could make sure no one would hear from you again, but that's just me going over borad now isn't it? My new master smile stretched wide as the boy ran away screaming in terror. Serves him right, making threats against other students in my fathers school. I'm surprised he still goes here. Maybe I can ask dad to make him move to a diffrent town entirely! Or maybe you could just stop acting like a mobster and tell him you can't do anything! The voice of a young female human called to him from behind. So how was you're mini vacation Oliver? She asked with a smile as she patted his back only to be doged by my new master. Please do t touch my suit Lisa! It was hand crafted by the finest hands in all of Germany. I wouldn't want it to get ruined so easily. He exclaimed with a mellow tone as she looked at me. Then why are you holding a stray cat? She ask petting my fur making me purr a little as he removed her hand. I'll also have you know he's not a stray, besides strays don't smell this good or have such clean fur. Only cats of high standards like myself are like this. He replied petting me himself, causing me to purr more loudly as his hand glided along my fur like the cool summers breazze. Oliver I'll never get whats up with you and cats, its almost like their human beings to you. That maybe so Lisa, but my obsessions are Nome of you're business. But you might want to run now cause I think ur English exam is today. The girls face shot up in shock at this news. Oh fuck I'm gonna be late!! She yelled as she ran off. Lisa by the way number twenty is a trick question!! He yelled at her down the hall as she ran off. Man I'm starving, I wonder what the caffiteria is serving today? Chapter 4 (The Unraveling of Power) -part two Later that same day after my new master splurged as he said on the best the caffiteria had to offer, he let me down and I followed him willingly outside the back of the school. I don't know what type of nostalgia made him come to such a frightening place. The back wood behind this school were dark and had the most smells of death I had ever encountered... But the look on his face as he took a whiff of the air in these wood was like that of a drug addict getting g his daily high. Aaahh! There's nothing like the smell of the forest, especially this one. He said picking me up and walking in deeper. Did you know this forest had a murder recorded of over fithty victims and counting? I actually found the twenty second body here when I was ten. Some old dude who was slashed to ribbons. I know I should have been scared, but there was just something about that dead man that seem familiar to me. He paused to think as I wondered why so many were killed here. I guess it was just because I'm a strange child. None the less let's go a little deeper ok, I hear there's a secret water fall in these woods somewhere. And I'm not leaving until I find it. We walked for what seemed to be hours on end as oliver searched high and low. We even came across a bear by accident, but it went away after I told it I would make sure to bring her back a fish if she left him alone. Haven't seen that bare in a while though... Uuugghh!! This is so annoying!! Where the hell could this stupid water fall be!!?? he shouted stomping his foot in flustration as he fell threw the ground into an old abandoned house. Aaahhhh!!! My leg!! I broke my leg!! Aaaaahhh!!! I was in shock as I jumped down to see if he was ok, he wasn't the break was bad and his leg was turning dark red as he groaned in pain. I wish I could have done something, but there was nothing I could do while he was awake. Fucking hell why did this have to happen to me!? Dam it!! He fringed in painas he petted my head. At least you came to comert me huh little guy? Its good to know I'm not alone down in here by myself. Actually its a really bad thing to know. the hairs in my back stood up as the voice of a girl disagreed with my masters optimistic veiw of the situation. What the? W-whos there? Please tell me you're here to help me!? To my masters question a figure emerged from the shadows pale as the moon and covered in scares, she smelled of freash blood as a machete she was carrying shined in the light of the broken roof. Wh-who are you? Ar-are you.. Are you the? The killer of the hollow woods, yes if that's the awnser you're looking for? *she gave him a blank stare of dissappiontment as she walked closer to him* and it seems you just broke my roof you cluts! Now how am I sappose to sleep when it rains? She asked as though talking to him as though she had known him for a long time. Look I'm really sorry ok, it was my... Aaahh!! He groaned holding his broken leg. It was my fault entirely... I swear I'll fix it. Just please let help me so I can! Her stare only became more dissapointed as she stared at him her head dropped. You do remember me don't you? Oliver? It hasent been that long, you should remember me.. The young masters face grew confused at her words as he looked at her intensly. C'mon oliver I'm not that had of a face to forget!! But why would you care... All the money in the world why would you even care to.. Red? Her face lit up as her eyes cryed to his words. Red is that really you? His hand reached for her only to be tackled and hugged by a crying killer. Oh Oliver you did remember!! How could I forget, red we've been looking for you for years. How did you end up here? The young killers wipes her tears as she explained the long series of events while tending to his injured leg. So all these murder victims are really ur huh? If I didn't know any better I'd say you were going for a record! He complimented her as they both smiled, and as I wondered how such a boy that comes from wealth wasent scared of a girl who murders for fun. I really missed you red, life hasent been the same ever since we lost you. Oliver you don't have to be so kind to me, besides I'm just happy you dropped by! They both laughed at her pun as I walked the hall in confusion of the two of them, while walking the halls of her house I was greeted by a cat. Well hello there tom cat, I haven't seen you around these parts before. Oh I uuh.... Um hi? I said in a awkward reply which she laughed at. So what's a well groomed cat like you doing in a place like this? I blushed a bit as she flirted with me. Well to be honest my lady me and my master found this place by total mistake. I would go into more details about this part but let's get back go the main story ok my friend... Eh hem... Anyways. So you dad really own the whole town now? Wow he must be really powerful right now.she said with a smile as she wrapped his leg in stolen medical supplies. Well most of it anyways, theirs still a small bit of town he's trying to get. But the people who own it say theyed rather die then sell it. Also we've been getting death threats but Dad says he has it all under control. Well I hope he dose... Hey oliver. Her tone seemed tone lighten. Ya red? I know this is a bit sudden but.... Is it all right if you could come visit me out here more often when ur leg is better? Not to sound dessprate for company or anything but.. I.. Mmmm! Suddenly my master kissed her intensely not holding anything back as she closed her eyes kissing him in return. Oliver? I'll always come back red, as long as I'm alive. Nothing will keep me from comming back for you. He exclaimed passionately as she imbraced him in tears, although it seemed wrong in my eyes for him to love such a person. It was as though they knew they were ment to be. ____________________________________________ Chapter 4 (the unraveling of power) part two just so my tail isn't to long, no cat pun intended. lets skip ahead a week later to when i meet the second unusual human in this school. for gods sake where did that red headed human get off to? i asked worrying. i need to be at his side while he recovers from his injury. As i walked along the hallway looking for him in worry as i was picked up from behind by a familiar presence, i turned my head around hoping id see my new master had picked me up only to see a paler face and darker hair. i remember thinking why is master oliver look like this? while i stared at his familiar face pale as a ghost and with hair black as the night. hey arnt you Oliver's cat? what are you doing out here in the halls little guy? i looked at his confused and oddly a bit offended by being called little. but still i wondered why i felt the same presence emanating from him as i did master Oliver. hey Hollow!! hurry up were gonna be late for class if we dont book it now!! his eyes shot open to this news. Oh shit i allmost forgot!! not even bothering to set me back down he ran into class with my and hid me in his bag with the sipper partly undone just as the bell rang out loudly. aahh!! Why do humans allways need such loud bells? i muttered silently. hey hollow did you say something? a student across from him asked. No why you ask? he replied. i thought i heard you talking about the bells after they rang. the student replied confused and she wondered who i was. looks like id better be quite while i wait. i thought to myself while in his bag i peered out the zipper to see what type of class i was in. OK students turn ur animal biology books to chapter fourteen today we will be learning about cats and their mating process. the cold irony of this was almost to much for me or the pale human who found me to bare as we slowly facepalmed at the same time together. Well couldn't get more ironic i guess... later after the class was over the one called Hollow went around the school insearch of Oliver. hey has anyone seen Oliver? the pale boy named holding me asked. i know where he is, but its gonna cost ya for the information!^^~ it was the girl named lisa, one of master Olivers closest friends from what i had learned from a whole week of living with him as a pet and listening to him on the phone. Oh hi lisa... please dont tell me its one of those kinda favors again please... hey asked with a worried expression as she leaned in closer. No silly nothing like that EMO boy, besides after last time they might actually think ur a satanist gypsy! she laughed as he sighed. Were is Oliver lisa? he asked unamused. oh dont be a stick in the mud im just kidding! He went home right after lunch period, something about he had a hot date tonight. funny i dont remember him seeing anyone though. She poundered her little human mind as i felt dumbfounded to this news and muttered. no fucking wonder... Well thanks Lisa ill just going now... he said trying to slink away. hold it right their Hollow! i havent forgot about that favor u owe me in the last two seconds, im not that dumb! she exclaimed with a smile. oh for the love of! Fine what the hell is it and if i dont like it im not going to do it! She suddenly flashed a picture as he replied in a cool heated tone. Hey what the hell was that for!? sorry i just wanted a photo for the year book was all! she said holding a picture of Oliver behind her back. OK whatever Lisa, but i better not see that picture in some weird rumor later! we left and i looked back threw the bag only to catch a glimpse of her talking, i couldnt hear her but i could tell she was asking herself, why do they look the same? as she looked at two pictures in her hand. Hello!! Hello!! the one named Hollow shouted from a large gate with a family crest in the shape of an old oak tree with what appeared to death sitting at its roots as he pressed a button the calling box. Hello is Oliver home? i found his cat and was wondering if he was looking for him... With no reply but a loud buzzing the gates opened and the man named Lee pulled up in golf cart. Hello sir im master Olivers personal servent, how may i help you? he asked as he saw me pop my head out of Hollows bag. Ah! i see you found my masters pet Ollie, i was wondering where he ran off to this morning. he said as i was handed over to him. so where is oliver? hollow asked curious. my master went out to dinner with his female friend after a day of looking at dresses, according to him she deserved nothing but the best for their date tonight. he explained cleaning my fur with a flea comb. so where do you hail from if i might ask? oh im no one specil, im just a gypsy kid... hollow seemed to dreaded saying this as to such i high class servent. oh then you must be the gypsy boy that the whole town is talking about, the one drew a demonic picture of jeasus christ am i right? he asked with curious eyes as Hollow rubbed his neck. yeah but i wasent doing it do be disrespectfull, i didnt even know who the guy was when i drew it. I was just making it so i wouldnt be in debt to this girl at school, besides she asked for it not me... look i know youre life is hard kid but dont get me wrong, you really shouldnt be so nieve when girls ask you for stuff. even things like a photo can get you into trouble. hollows mind thought back to Lisa snapping a photo of him. yeah dude you dont know how ironic that sounds right now... but thanks anyways, ill just be heading home now. dont be so hasty my young friend stay a while, im sure my master would be pleased to meet you. He could use some new friends as well, i fear that Lisa girl might get him into trouble one day. thanks for the offer servant dude, but if i dont get back before eight my mom is gonna flips her crystal ball again. he said walking off into the distance. ____________________________________________ Chapter 4 (the unraveling of power) part three the next day came rather quickly as i was carried into the school perched acrossed master Olivers shoulders like a throw. the school band was playing and the students were all popping streamers on the lacross field as the game ended for the day and my masters father took the mic. Good evening everyone, today as you know is a very special day. even though we lost against our opponents today we invite them to say and celibate as we sing Happy Birth day to two of our schools pride and joys. My son Oliver, and our lacross captain Walton Oliver. I know im astonished by that bit i irony but if everyone will lineup on their sides of the field were gonna be blowing out candles and singing after words well all have some yummy cake made by my house staff. the humans of my masters father seemed to enjoy this rather humiliating activity as my master and walton as he was called blew out their candles on their individual cakes. but after a while i saw lisa walking to the one named hollow as he sat by himself at the bleachers with a slice of cake. hey whats wrong hollow? you know its a birthday party right? she asked a bit worried. yeah but thats whats got me down... its a birthday party for someone else. but its my birthday today to... he said sadly looking at his slice of cake. didnt you celebrate with ur mother today? she asked. no she was to busy reading fortunes while drunk to even remember what today was. suddenly a lighter lit a candle placed on his slice by lisa. well you cant just sit here and be envyous of other dumby, make a wish and make it a good one! she hit his shoulder smiling at him. Well... i guess.. it wouldn't hurt. smiling as he closed his eyes and made his wish blowing out his candle, and just as he did outta no where the clouds began to flash with lightning as a tree nearby was struck. holy shit what was that!? hollow yelled in fear as more bolts started striking around them and on the field incinerating what was left of the cake. As the chaos erupted everone ran for shelter hiding under the stone bleachers, in the mist of the danger i ran into the field looking to the heavens. whats going on? why os the lords wrath coming down here? i heard yelling from behind me and a loud flash, as i turned to see the one called walton being linked with Gods power his cloths burned and flesh in a bloody mess as hollow came to save him only to be struck as well, followed by my adopted master Oliver. they screamed in agony and pain as thier bodys became like x-ray images. i could see winged monster standing in their places as they flickered the lighting striking them still changing the beasts i saw in the flickers little by little as until they look like their old selfs again. it it cant be... these three... they cant be... i ran to them i fear and joy as the lightning struck them one last time before they fell. MY LORDS!!!! TO BE CONTINUED

#B3E #Birthof3Evils #B3E Official

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roccoroks · 6 years

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Dag volume 4 ok its been a while now since i updated my dag post sooooooo.... its time its been a few weeks or so and i have had a meriade of dumb fucks roll through here but non was as big of a cluster fuck as this family! this guy was a grade a prostitues asshole cover in warts and his family were more needy than Alec Baldwin is a man child. it happened at the Grand Rod Run a few weeks back and it has taken me some time to sit down and type this up soo... 9/13/2013 3pmish its was another rod run, the parking lot was packed and i was maning the helm and sitting on 2 rooms left to rent for the night. i wanted them gone fast so i could flip the "no"sign on and sit down and continue vectoring a project i was working on. *dag walks in with a walk of arogance...no shit, just sunters in like he fucking owns the place or like he is the fucking president or some shit* me- good afternoon, welcome to the RSML (RiverSide Motor Lodge) dag- wheres johny me- (fucking dick, must be one of johnys friends) im sorry johny no longer works for us (because i fired his ass! mawahahahha) dag- cute, wheres he at, i need a room. me- -.- (hurrr we go) well like i said he is no longer with the company, we changed hands back in march and my aunt and myself are now the new owners of the property. we felt that he was holding the business back and loosing us money so i let him go. dag- look, i know the rutine, john told you to say he no longer works here so he can take the show off. but what i need you to do is call him so i can get my usual rate, i drove 9 hours to get here and im very tired and want a room. *dags family walks in, a fat wife with 2 small children with here. one stuck in a fat roll the other in perpetual orbit around her midsection like one of jupitur's moons* me- (wow, this guy might be retarted) sir as i already explained to you, johny no longer works, or is in any way a acting manager or affiated with RSML. i have his discharge papers in the back if you would like to see them, i am one of the new owners here and would be more than happy to help you. (there, see i can be a nice guy) dag- wtf do you mean he is no longer affiliated with you, hes the owner! (this is a very comon thing, johny told everyone he was the owner im guessing to get laid or some shit and now he has like 30 people who expect to stay for free now) me- -.- sir he was never the owner, he was our gm, if he told you other wise he was a lier and this was one of the reasons he was let go. he was costing us almost 100,000 a year due to bad management and pour business skills so we elected to not rehire him. dag- so johnys not the owner... me- (for reals bro? dafuq you not understand ingrish?) never was.....e.e >>>>~~~~~~ dag- well... i need a room, john always saved me one for the rod run. me- (tough shit, im putting you in one of the fuck huts where the bed is covered in semen and used rubbers) yes sir i have 2 rooms left, both of them 1 queen jacuzzi suites. dag: i have 2 kids and my wife with me, we all cant sleep in a 1 queen suite, i need a bigger room me- (first off, thats a marine creature, not a wife and those two parasitic lampray you call kids can sleepoutside for all i care) im sorry sir but those are the only rooms i have, now they do have a pull out couch you can use. next year you may want to make reservations with us to garuntie what room you get. dag- well it willhave to do. how much, remeber johny usually gives me a really good rate. me- (i dont give a good god damn if johny sucked your dick everynight before you went to bed!) the room is 165.00 plus tax dag- wtf johny only charges me 59.95 a night when i come up here!!! me- hince why we fired him dag- this is out ragous! (watch this dumb motherfucker will still pay it) me- (no your wife is out ragous! just look at that magestic beast!) im sorry but those are the rates. (buy this time the kids are teasing my parrot, we have a 27 year old parrot that has been in the business since we open. on his cage in 3 different places it says *danger, the bird bites!*. so naturaly the little shits are trying to poke him) me- you might wont to stop your kids from sticking there fingers in the cage, the bird bites. dag- for 165 we should beable to take the bird home! me-(what ever, chances are they will be just as retarted as you anyway, whats the lose of a few fingers) ok but if they get bit its on you *iring him up andhand him his keys to his sestpool* *on the way out the door, i hear a sharp, squeal from a small child. the one that was stuck in the manaties fat roll had worked her hand free and stuck it in the bird cage. peppy, our bird, took offence to this and bit the shit out of her finger. oh yes....there was blood.....* dag- your fucking bird just bit my kid! me- ( /).- not shit...the bird bit her.,....just like i said she would... WELL FUCK ME IM SHOCKED! I CANT BELIVE THAT HAPPENED AFTER I SAID IT WOULD! PRAISE BE TO JESUS! IF A FUCKING MIRICALE.... dumbass) sir if you will remeber and also read one of the many signs on the cage, i said the bird bites and you may want to restrain your kids from sticking there fingers in there. dag- you should have a bird that bites in your main lobby, its a liability. me- (so is having a walrus follow you around, i hear its mating season and they can get testy when horny) well most people dont stick there fingers in a cage with signs on it that say * danger, this bird bites* on it. dag- what about kids? what do you do about that? me- I TELL THERE PARENTS NOT TO LET THEM DO THAT JUST LIKE I DID WITH YOU (YOU DUMB FUCK) dag- *evil look* me- *eviler grin* (your move bitch....) *dag walks out with out further conflict* -2 HOURS LATER- *phone rings* me-.........no....were full.....im not answering *ring,ring,ring* me- i swear the fuck to god that i will set you on fire if you say "do you have any rooms left" *ring ring ring* me- i get it...for fuck sake......*ahem* rsml dag- hey me- yes sir dag- we aint got no sheets, for 165 a night i expect to have extra sheets. me- have you checked the drawers in the.... dag- yes we looked everywhere me- (how about your wifes fat ass? huh, didnt think so) ok no problem we have them down here in the office. dag- run me up a set *hangs up* me-.....dafuq? FUCK YOU! *goes back to reading "the fall of five" and eating m&m's* 30 MINS LATER *dag walks in* dag- hey, wheres my sheets? i thought i told you to run them up to me me- im sorry i must have forgot (FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHEETS) *dags family walks in, goes to the pool to swim* dag- you mean i have to actually come down to get the sheets i need? me-im sorry for the trouble but im the only one here right now and cant leave the desk dag- fine....ill get the sheets later then. *dag walks out to the pool* -later that day_ me- *looking at the security cams in the pool area* ....und her vee hove zee megestic hoomp back whale in ur natural habilitat. und watch as shee floots gracafully true ze wotur......*phone rings*....damn it! thats was a spot on Jacques Cousteau impression! *anwers phone* me- front desk guest- yes my daughter was just down there and she went to the ladies room and she said it was so dirty that she felt like she needed a shower me-(oh no...thats not good...no no no no no!) im sorry mam i will go and look into that right now guest- she said it was like a wild animal was in there me-.....O.O (the shebeast!) yes mam i wil....... guest- she says it was everywher me- mam guest- the nastiest me- maaaam guest- like a bomb went of me- MAM! guest- yes? me- ill take care of that. guest- ok thank you me- *click!* me-..... this can only mean one thing.....the shebeast....she took a duce! *gets up to check bathroom, upon entering venting area im hit with a fragrance of shit so foul that im sure that it could make satan himself say "GAWD DAYUM!"* me- holy fuckers! *opens womens room door* me-....O.O.....mother of god...... *im not sure who or what was in there but this is what i imagin happened* Poultrygeist Night of the Chicken Dead fat guy crapping - YouTube me- im sooooo not cleaning this up...... *locks doors and goes home*

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