#gone back to edit in a readmore on this as it's. actually kind of long isn't it

[misty-caligula]

Okay this is gonna be long, but I’ve got a lot of ground to cover so please bear with me. In a real way, this is my series thesis.

I’ve said before, many times now (like a cycle) that for me the most important scene is ep 1 act 1 scene 1. There’s something There that I have been struggling to see clearly, struggling to articulate, and s2e9 really finally gave me the last pieces for it.

I think that Pit Girl is the point of the entire story. But not in the way that I thought going in. I feel like I’m rambling, so I’m going to try to structure my thoughts.

Imagine you’re a new viewer. You haven’t watched yj start to finish 30 times, you’ve never even buzzed before. You turn on the tv and the FIRST thing that happens is you see ... brutality. A half dressed girl chased through the freezing woods, murdered without a chance. They drag her through the snow, string her up, pour her blood on the ground. Hack her into unrecognisable chunks. Sit around in scary outfits and rip at her, with a huge focus on the teeth, as horror music plays. Then, Misty takes off her mask, puts on her glasses, and does the worst possible thing. She smiles. Directly at you.

Again, forget everything you know and go on vibes. You’re seeing the teens pre-crash, and you’re seeing them in the third timeline, fully formed, with horror motifs and covered in fur. You’d be mistaken for thinking that you were seeing start and end. Except that... we know, and you know, that Pit Girl is the middle. These monsters somehow came back from this. How? When they’re so so so far gone?

Hence the show. I know I’m not breaking new ground here, but bear with me. I’m going somewhere.

(Edit: Readmore added because honestly, LONG post)

You’d be forgiven, fresh-faced new viewer, for thinking you were watching some kind of gross-out slasher. But what happens in S1? Restraint. Laura Lee, the first non-crash victim dies at the end of episode eight. Jackie end of ep 10. (For the sake of this thesis we’re going to be almost exclusively focused on the teens.)

And yet there’s this tonal shift, It’s like ... inevitability. Like watching a crack in a window that’s very slowly spreading. Everything is steadily Getting Worse. The weather is slowly getting colder, the days are getting darker, food’s getting scarcer, life is getting harder. But so much of this difficulty is coming from external events and pressure. Yes, cracks start to show in the internal relationship dynamics, of course, but if food was plentiful, if shrooms were less so, if the weather were better, then they could probably work out a very long term stable situation. Sadly for them, things are not stable, and the pressure is building.

Then Jackie dies and the glass gets a really big break.

It’s worth mentioning at this moment that Jackie at any time could’ve come the fuck inside. Safety and warmth and even love were available to her. All it would’ve required was for her not to be the centre of the world. To make actual goddamn concessions and join the team. Which is why she couldn’t possibly make that choice, because she had to be invited, she had to be apologised to, she had to be accommodated. She couldn’t see the rest of the ‘jackets as being people who just like her were in a really shitty situation. She saw them as being external, as being in cahoots against her, as being part of some Thing that she wasn’t in on. She couldn’t let go of the society they’d left, and she preferred to die. Which sure is a choice...

Keep all of that in mind though. We’re taught to blame Shauna for Jackie’s choices. Let’s stop with that. Jackie chose not to assimilate, she looked around the cabin at the team eating the bear and praying to the wilderness and instead of just paying lip service to fit in, like Tai, she decided to put her foot down and make a Thing of it. She decided that being Right was more important than being Included.

Seriously, keep that in mind, we’re coming back to it. Cycles, you know...

Season 2, everyone’s hungry and hey we have this spare Jackie lying around. And we joke like “ha, you gonna eat that?” Only...

No. They WEREN’T going to eat her.

Really think about that for a second. They put her in the meat shed. With the bear. Think about what that does, psychologically. Linguistically. The meat shed is made to store food. The bear has a word: carcass. Day after day after week after month they carve progressively more pathetic chunks from it, subsisting on what little it offers. In the EXACT same room, sitting right there is Jackie. Her body has a different name. Corpse. With many different connotations. At NO point does ANY of them raise the fact that they’ve taken their friend and added her to their meat stockpile.

Because they haven’t. Instead, they’ve added a new sub-room. The meat shed is now also a morgue. And nobody ever once had to say it. They got it. We got it. You got it. And while they starved and their bodies BEGGED for food, Jackie’s corpse lay there, frozen and fresh, and stubbornly refused to become a carcass, because they wouldn’t let it. They knew that there were more important things than meat, even when they were starving.

The bacchanal was a mistake. A literal error. It simply wasn’t planned, wasn’t meant to go down that way. Maybe if they HAD considered that route earlier and had a discussion about it they’d have been prepared, psychologically, maybe if they weren’t so starved. Who knows. But in the middle of the night they were offered a way out, and they took it.

But Shauna took it first.

Even in their state, even faced with an ideal roasted feast infront of them, they waited until Shauna said it was okay. Because Jackie was Shauna’s friend, and they knew that she was still a person. That this was still a corpse first. It was Shauna who was able to give them permission to survive. To turn a friend into a meal. It was not their place to take that step. To shoulder that guilt. So Shauna did it for them.

The next day they’re devastated. The heavy reality sets in, now the hunger is settled. And Jackie’s carcass is far too real, they can’t change her back into a corpse. Nat tries, bless her heart. But Tai’s screaming reaction at having eaten Jackie’s face is only an externalisation of the grief and horror and agony they’re all going through.

And after Jackie they starve again. Hope and heat and light dwindles further. Every single day they all take another step towards death. That’s what starvation is, it’s the same thing as dying, you die a little bit every day until you can’t die anymore.

Kristen falls. Misty doesn’t even consider that she might bring her back as meat. If she had’ve, she might think, maybe she’d be considered like ... heroic. It doesn’t even occur to her. She’s not going to LET those bitches eat her one and only friend, and she goes out of her way to protect her.

Shauna has her horror show birth. And, no matter WHAT the context is, she produces.... meat. In the most awful, brutal way. And while the fandom made so many jokes and stuff, the reality is that yes... at least to an extent there was real nutrients there. And it was never once even brought up as an option, by these desperate, starving girls. 

When Coach tries to kill himself, here’s a ready source of willing meat. And Misty uses it as a threat to stop him. But it’s hollow, she’s just putting on fake fangs to try to keep him safe. She’s not actually that vicious thing that she’s pretending to be, just like she’s not actually homophobic.

When Lottie tells Misty to eat her if she dies, Misty fights her on it. Lottie has to insist. Then when she tells the rest of the team, they are so overwhelmed with the selflessness of the gesture that it inspires them to twist it into their first hunt. That’s what it takes. The hunt is an act of self-sacrifice and love.

And so we get to the hunt. The proto-pit-girl, we’ve come full circle and we start to learn all these answers to questions posed in act 1 scene 1. And they’re not the answers that were assumed.

How do they get to the point of eating each other? They sacrifice themselves willingly, for the sake of each other’s survival.

Why do they hunt the way they do? Because Shauna just can’t stand to murder a friend in cold blood, a friend she cares for and has no reason to hate.

Why the spike pit? Because it keeps the blood off their hands. Because it lets them blame It and preserve a tiny fragment of their innocence.

Why the weird symbols? The ritual itself? Because they need SOMETHING to hold onto, to make it all make sense.

Why so brutal? Is it? We THINK it’s brutal. It’s certainly bloody. But Pit Girl dies almost instantly. Her pain is over fast. She doesn’t have a good time going into it, obviously, none of them want to die. But she chose to run, she could’ve taken the knife instead. And the spike trap was efficient. Yes they drag her through the snow and string her up, but it’s mechanical and just part of the process and she’s dead already. Her pain is over fast, it’s not sadistic.

Why do they chop her up into chunks like that? Because nobody wants to eat her face. Because nobody wants to struggle with her humanity, they want her to look just like any other meat. So that they might be having deer or bear or ... friend. They’re eating because they are biological machines that need to eat, that NEED death to survive. They didn’t ask to be made the way they are, and they’re doing their best to cope. Shauna, probably blindly, takes on that responsibility, to transform their friend into unrecognisable meat to change a corpse into a carcass. She takes that pain for them, holds that sin for them, out of love. So they can eat, so they can survive.

What’s with the creepy horror masks? During the ritual they can’t handle being themselves. They create alternate versions of themselves to hold what must be done. The masks aren’t there to scare anyone, because there IS NO AUDIENCE. The masks are there to hide behind. That’s why Misty takes hers off at the end of the scene. The ritual is over and they can go back to being people again.

Why is Misty fucking Quigley in charge? Because she CAN be. Because she’s strong enough. If Lott/Nat/The AQ is the goddess/queen, Misty is the priestess/handmaiden, tasked with actually carrying out her orders. She interprets the queens words when she’s too weak, she provides counsel when she needs it, she tells the team what they need to hear in the moment, she gives out the micromanagement. Misty’s the power behind the throne, because when she says she’ll do something she fucking follows through. No matter the cost. And what the team NEEDS, whether they choose to admit it or not, is a backbone.

So...

They bring home Javi. The music uses a reference that’s never been done before. It uses the spiritual powerballad that was playing when Laura Lee tried to fly away. It builds the expectation of Great Things, of big, potent ...

And then it just stops. As the girls are faced with the reality of what’s laying on the table. The cold, blue corpse of a soft child who never hurt anyone. No matter what they do, no matter how hard they try they just cannot make him a carcass. But they have made the choice already, and if they turn back now it’s not like it’ll bring him back. They’ll just be starving and regretful as he rots.

So Shauna, blind and shaking, does the best she can. And when she brings in the meat, she - of all people - understands EXACTLY what Travis is going through. She knows what he needs. Because she’s been here. With Jackie. So she brings him Javi’s heart. His core. His love. His soul.

(She doesn’t bring him Javi’s head. She cuts that off and puts it aside so nobody has to eat his face... Some things are worth more than pure nutritional survival.)

And Travis, god bless him, does the only thing he can do left to respect Javi. He takes his heart, and he bites it, raw and bloody.

It hurts him to do so. It disgusts him so much, but he manages not to throw up. It disgusts the girls too, but they watch on, horrified. And that’s the POINT. Travis makes sure that before they do this, before they do what they have to... that they all remember this is Javi, this is human, this is a person. And he preserves the horror. For all their sakes. And only then, after he’s given his blessing, after he’s done his human acts, do these starving, ravenous girls allow themselves to reach for their food.

S1E1. Act 1, scene 1. We do not know who Pit Girl is. We do not know the exact circumstances that get us there. But we do know where we started now. What the original meaning is behind each of these little things. And it’s not brutality, not barbarism. It’s love. It’s not lord of the flies, a bunch of monstrous human-shaped creatures giving in to their primal nature and predating on each other. It’s a team of terrified people desperately clutching at their own humanity as hard as they can. Trying SO hard not to let that glass break, to not become the thing that the framing of act 1 scene 1 tried so VERY hard to convince us they were. Context changes everything.

And the proof is in the pudding. After they eat Jackie the shock explodes throughout the cabin. The atmosphere is thick, and horrific. Now with Javi, reduced to simple meat, carefully and lovingly seperated from what made him human, so they can grieve him while they sate their natural needs, the mood post-eating is calm and soft and warm and loving. For once they’re all together,  with grateful full stomachs and in a time of peace and plenty. They’ve done the impossible and maintained their humanity and love for each other and their respect for Javi in a nearly impossible situation.

*takes a deep breath*

Which brings us to THIS asshole.

Right from the start, Jackie is only kind of part of the team. She’s the team captain, put up there by Coach Martinez, but not because she’s the best of them but because she can maybe wrangle them into doing better. And they KNOW that she’s not really one of them. They plot around her, and just don’t bring her in on it. They put up with her, more than loving her, she’s just kind of forced upon them. But she does her best, to try to maintain some semblance of order, giving pep talks and the like.

Wait, Jackie? I mean coach. My bad.

Anyway, so Jackie has one friend, Shauna. She SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to her, but Shauna’s the only one who actually likes her. And Shauna’s her connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn as to where her real loyalties lie.

Sorry I’m talking about Jackie again.... weird.

In S1E9/10 Shauna finally chooses the team, for real. And Jackie tries to pull her back away, but Shauna puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, you’re the odd one out. Why don’t YOU leave, Jackie? Jackie looks around at the burgeoning cult, she thinks “Look at these evil monstrous bitches, and now Shauna’s one of them TOO?” And instead of finding a compromise, instead of doing introspection, instead of anything like that, Jackie goes and freezes to death because it turns out that sheer rage won’t keep you warm in sub zero temperatures. Because no matter what happens, Jackie’s Right and it’s more important to her to be Right than Included. If she’s not in charge than why is she even THERE?

Hold on, I see my mistake. Let me backtrack.

Right from the start, Coach is only kind of part of the team. He’s trying to hide from his real life, from Paul and the complexities of being genuine in society by taking on the job of coaching the ‘jackets. And they KNOW that he’s not really one of them. He’s just the guy they have to listen to, because society put him there. But he tries his best, giving pep talks and the like.

So Coach has one friend, Natalie. He SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to him, but Nat’s the only one who actually likes him. (Ignore Misty, a schoolgirl comphet crush is not the same thing). And Nat’s his connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn to where her real loyalties lie. Sometimes she’s on the bench with Coach, complaining about the state of things. Sometimes she’s in the thick of it with them all, and Coach is nowhere to be found.

In S2E9, Nat finally chooses the team, for real. And Coach tries to pull her back, but Nat puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, I’m worse than them, you’re the odd one out. Go, save yourself, you don’t belong in this place. Coach looks at a table covered in blood and gore, at Nat’s face, at the rest of the team pledging fealty to her. And instead of looking for context, or looking for compromise, or even remotely trying to understand what he’s looking at he thinks

Look at these evil monstrous bitches. They’re eating each other. They’ve all gone mad. They’ve even gotten Nat now. There’s no hope for them, there’s no hope for anyone out here.

And he decides that they’re corrupt. That the way you deal with that is fire. And he’s wrong.

(I have a theory that he’s gone and jumped off the cliff, that he set the fire to clear the corruption, and now like Jackie, unable to live in this situation any longer, he’s decided to die himself. I’d not be surprised to find him in s3e1 that way)

Jackie was a frustrating, difficult person. Because no matter how things went she just COULDN’T let go of the fact that she was trying to fit a mold that just didn’t suit her. She was raised with super high expectations, when she was really just kind of mid. And that’s fine, honestly, most people ARE mid, that’s why it’s mid. But she refused to see that those around her were shedding their social pressures, were adapting to the wilderness. They weren’t having a good time, they weren’t hunting and foraging because they were out there, camping for fun. Nobody wanted to be there. They were just trying not to complain about it, because they were all in the same boat.

Coach is similar. He simply won’t adapt. Refuses to. I mean this is a guy who’s STILL trying to live in the closet when there’s open lesbians making out in public around him. Who thinks of others as inherently monstrous when he himself, as a gay man, should know better. Because that’s what trying to fit your society-assigned role does to you.

It’s no accident that he and Jackie both spend a long time in the woods and neither of them can do something as basic as start a fucking campfire. Javi, a little kid, survived for MONTHS on his own in that cave. Coach couldn’t make it a day alone. Jackie couldn’t get through a night. They both rely so heavily on the team without ever once recognising it. Because SOMEONE was keeping the fires going. They both just ... refused to engage.

And just like Jackie can’t see that they’re not having fun out there in the woods, on the knifes edge of survival, Coach can’t see that they’re not having fun when they are so desperate they feel it’s warranted to sacrifice one of their own. He always thought of them as monsters, and he just sees what he expects to: a bunch of stupid useless teenage girls, finally doing what he always expected they would.

At any point... At ANY point he could’ve come in from the cold. He could’ve just accepted reality as they have. He could’ve taken some meat and accepted the price, as they have, joined them in their GRIEF about it, shared their humanity, and survived. Just as Jackie could’ve come in from the cold, and become part of the whole. But instead, they sit in the cold, consumed by their bitter hate, and decide that no, it’s everyone ELSE who’s wrong.

And who emerges from the burning cabin? A bunch of scared kids. Shauna, the FIRST cannibal, who saves Jackie’s prom dress before anything else. Travis, who grabs Javi’s wolf. Nat who grabs the ammunition - that they NEVER use on each other - because if they lost that they’d get SERIOUSLY desperate. And they protect each other, they make sure everyone makes it out. These supposed monsters who are so far gone they don’t even care about eating each other go out of their way to save each other, not just themselves.

Because Coach is wrong. Just like Jackie was wrong. Just like WE were wrong, in s1e1. Which brings me to my actual point.

This question is asked so many times in S1 it’s almost a mantra. And the ‘jackets’ oath of silence really builds up that it must’ve been something REALLY bad, right? But S2E9 has really made me recognise that fundamentally... Act 1 Scene 1 is entirely what everyone who asks this question is expecting.

Imagine they DID know what really happened out there. With that bloodthirsty fucking look in their eyes...

They’re not looking for an answer. They’re looking for a story. For an exciting spooky nightmare they didn’t take part in, so they can get a shiver and a thrill they didn’t earn.

They’re not looking for a love story. They’re not looking to hear how HARD these scared, tragic, broken people fought to hold onto their morals and their humanity and their sanity even against their own survival. They’re not interested in Shauna blinding herself just to try to stop her hands from shaking. They’re not looking to hear about Travis choking down the blood of his brother just to make sure that he can really FEEL it. So he can share the guilt, and never ever pretend like it’s Just Meat. The look in his eye when he can’t think of any good response to Van’s arguments that he needs to let Javi save him. What they want is...

They don’t want the context. And if the ‘jackets ever did try to tell anybody what actually DID happen out there, all they would see is ... Episode 1, Act 1, Scene 1. A bunch of monsters. Eating each other. Just like Jackie. Just like Coach. Just like we did, on first glance.

I’ve been saying this whole time that Yellowjackets is doing something really special. That it’s letting us see behind the curtain, that while everyone’s asking this big question, “what really happened?”, we’re the ones who get to know. Because it can’t be told. It can’t be spoken. It can only be seen. Experienced. I think that S2 has finally finished the first major arc in the teen timeline, that we now have the context to understand what comes next. And I do believe that it will get messy, it will devolve. Into fighting and screaming and battles. It’s tragic, but it looks like that’s the downward spiral, spiraling. As Travis and Nat deal with the guilt of what they did with Javi for each other. As Shauna and Nat butt heads and people pick sides. As Misty Mistys. As resources get even more desperate now their shelter is gone. As potentially new people (hikers? other cabin people?) get brought into conflict with them (I believe the cabin is a smoke signal, personally).

But don’t ever forget that we got here with love. Expect that the downward spiral will be lubricated with toxic, broken, codependant, self-destructive love as well. Watch them love each other to death... they’ve already begun.

[moonsidesong]

Have you played PuyoPuyo 7? If so, what do you think about it?

good timing anon, i actually replayed it pretty recently with a friend of mine (wanted to play the recent re-translation, very much recommend it, its much better than Nexus's halfhearted mess) so my opinions on it are fresh!!

the short answer is. Its so jank. and probably objectively not a very good game, and there are definitely things i would change about it if i could. But i still really like it for what it is. It's got a unique identity in the series and I love that about it!

im gonna talk a lot now so under the readmore this goes ^_^

i love that transformation mode is just if fever rules were an insane mess. why does it go up to 99 seconds. why does mega mode send SO much damage. god bless it<3 they should bring it back. wanna see what hellfire comet festivals shibakazu would cook up in it.

and like the story is.... not. well paced. but ive learned to laugh about it at least. and like suuuuuure ecolo shows up at the end and then hypes up how unstoppably powerful they are and how ringo could NEVER BEAT THEM and then gets defeated in 10 seconds because the final boss is a joke. its fine<3 at least its actually fun to play and doesnt take a million years to trudge through so the bad pacing doesnt feel nearly as awful. (puyo chronicle i am giving you a little glare)

ive grown to love the jank art style but i will say, i wish they redrew everyone. ringo standing next to characters clearly just with sprites edited from 15th anniversary or fever 2 make her stick out quite a bit. it makes me wonder if the game's art was really rushed or something? it just feels a bit off.

another thing, i dont think this game is a Bad introduction to ecolo at all (i Love their design in this game and i think it perfectly introduces how intensely powerful and unhinged they can be), BUT!!! their chain animations are really... disappointing. idk. i Like that they shapeshift into other characters i think thats fun (i actually think its kind of a shame its a trait of theirs rarely brought up anymore) but the fact its mostly just the others' animations recolored black with some extra particle effects is really lame. minor differences like a more ecolo-like facial expression (get silly!! get mischievous!!!) couldve gone a long way to giving them more personality in their chains.

also relating to the past two notes, its really no secret that transformation mode is... Missing. Quite a bit of assets it really should have. considering a decent handful of characters only go through very minor changes (darkle is literally just a clothing color swap) and honestly Ecolo (since all of their chains are borrowed) still only changing to feli for mini and klug for mega is SUCKS i think and it makes me the most upset out of the cast.. ecolo's already transforming when they're not in fever!!!!! lets do something else!!!!!

this is just a reaaally quick mockup scribble of an idea i had that id been discussing with my friend, but i think it'd be really fun if instead of doing a simple character shapeshift, they got real small and silly looking for their mini form and HUGE AND OVERBEARING AND INTIMIDATING for mega. the core would stay the same size, for scale! pp7 is the game that leans the hardest into ecolo being someone who can switch from silly little thang to terrifying cosmic being of sheer force on a dime, and i think itd be fun if their transformations reflected that.

like idk ecolo is the Debut final boss and (imo) one of the coolest characters in the series so i think it sucks that they got the short end of the stick in the battle animations area in this game.

like ive been saying I've grown to love many of Puyo 7's problems but this is one thing i would definitely change if i could.

[sollucets]

33 with Gavin/Freelancer? (I am so predictable requesting them but. listen) or any other pairing tht strikes ur fancy!!

33: saccharine

hi calico! thank u for sending me a prompt 💜 i think this might be an instance of taking it a little too literally

💜

"Gav," they call out into the house, not looking up from the contents of the saucepan. "Darling, light of my life, apple of my eye, treasure--"

The rush of wind that accompanies a rift cuts them off, and they laugh a little as familiar arms loop around them from behind. "What do you need me to do?"

They snort. "Can't I say extremely saccharine things to my beloved boyfriend without an ulterior motive?"

"I suppose you can," he concedes, "but you definitely aren't. What is it?"

Casting a brief glance back at his knowing little grin, they return their eyes to their project, one hand at the ready with a whisk. "Can you make a bowl of cold water? I'd meant to just let it sit, but the timing's wrong."

And maybe, just maybe, they could chill it themself, but this is time-sensitive, and it's water, so it's better if he does it. Gavin pulls away, and after a moment they hear the sink running. Another moment later, they feel the familiar flare of Gavin's magic, just the slightest touch. If he didn't want them to, they'd never feel it at all; this is part of something they'd asked him to do to get a handle on different people's auras, to get used to feeling magic around them.

Gavin's is like the brush of fabric against newly-shaved skin, silky and smooth and often fleeting. (Not for them, though, they think, with a deserved trace of smugness.)

"Will this do?" he asks, returning to them with a glass bowl of water that steams a little when it comes near the stove.

"Wonderfully, thank you," they say, leaning up to kiss his cheek distractedly. The second he puts the bowl down they transfer the pan into it, the hissing drowning out every other sound for the ten seconds the sauce needs to quench.

When they pull it out, the caramel sauce in the pan has settled to a perfect warm brown, and they grin triumphantly, turning the stove off. "All set. If you want this on your ice cream, get it out before it's too cold to pour."

He doesn't comply right away, and they glance over their shoulder again at him to find him doing that birdlike little head-tilt he does at particularly human things. "I wouldn't have thought that was how you made it," he says aloud.

"It's just really hot sugar," they say, realizing a second too late they've left a massive innuendo window open. It really pays to be more careful about your wording, living with this man.

Sure enough, the "suits you well, then," comes right on cue, and they scrunch their nose up and go back to stirring. They don't even try to fight back the fondness. He'd said once, quiet against their ear in the sleepy moments before full blackness, that their happiness felt like bubbles to him, shimmering and beautiful and popping soft against his skin when it's directed at him, and denying him that isn't worth even the pretense of exasperation.

Gavin returns from the freezer with the open ice cream container, and when they turn to face him, he grins, that slow, spreading one they've come to love. "You have a little something," he says softly, reaching out. "Just... there."

[teyvat-imagines]

hello!! first i would like to praise your blog and your icon, i dont know why but i like it a lot. And second, I would like to request something angst with diluc, childe, kaeya ​​and zhongli where the reader discovers shes pregnant and when she will tell the character she catch him cheating. How would they react to the discovery and take the blame 😭

Heya! :D Thank you so much!!! ;w; you're too kind omg!! Some angst coming right up! :3c I do have a limit to 3 characters per request, so I've omitted Zhongli from this one, hope that's okay! ;w;

EDIT: In hindsight, this topic could be triggering to some so I'm putting it fully under a readmore! Apologies for not thinking of that beforehand.

TW: Cheating, Reader gets cheated on

Pregnant S/O Getting Cheated On:

Diluc:

○ You'd had your suspicions for a while. You'd missed your period and you were waking up feeling nauseous no matter what you'd eaten the day before or when you went to sleep. But still, you didn't want to get your hopes up yet, and decided to visit the church for a proper assessment, choosing not to tell your boyfriend until you were absolutely certain!

○ When Barbara confirmed exactly what you'd suspected, you couldn't help but cry. Happy tears of course! You were going to start a family with Diluc! Well, actually, you needed to talk with him first! With that realisation in mind, you thanked Barbara and hurried over to the winery, excited to share the news with him.

○ So caught up in your excitement, you missed the muffled noises coming from your bedroom. The moans and grunts and hushed pleas for more. Instead, you swung the bedroom door wide open with a huge grin and had to face the scene head on.

○ There was Diluc, in your bed. But he wasn't alone. Donna was with him, her arms around his shoulders, legs wrapped around his waist. The scratch marks on his back alone were enough to tell you what they had been doing, let alone what you would see if you let your eyes drift lower.

"Ah- (Y/N) d-dear, you're home early!"

○ You could see the panic written on his face as he simultaneously attempted to pull away from the woman clinging to him, and cover up what little modesty he had. And something about his words... Was this... Was this not the first time he had done this?

○ You backed up, one hand moving to your mouth as you stifled a sob, the other moving to your stomach, a gesture that had not gone unnoticed by Diluc. His eyes moved rapidly from your stomach to you, the unsaid question burning in his throat.

○ You were torn. On one hand, did he deserve to know now? But on the other hand, you didn't care anymore. Not after this. Knowing he had been consistently betraying you. Bringing this woman and possibly others to your bed. With a shaky breath, you nodded glaring at him.

"Little Flame... You're really pregnant...? We're going to have a child...?"

○ He had the audacity to smile. To try and approach you. After all this? Had he forgotten what the hell you had just caught him doing, or was he deliberately trying to avoid it? Either way, the moment he was close enough you struck out, slapping him square on the cheek before turning to leave for the last time.

"We aren't going to have anything. Not anymore Diluc. You've made your choice."

Childe:

○ You and Childe had been dating for a long time. You weren't exactly trying for a baby, but you both had agreed it would be a pleasant surprise. So when you were waking up feeling nauseous and exhausted, your hopes were growing. You wanted to keep it quiet, avoid causing excitement with your boyfriend until you were certain.

○ It didn't take long for the health check. The fatui agent confirmed that you were pregnant. It was really happening! You knew this could be difficult though, so you wanted to speak with Childe first. With that in mind, you ran off to find him.

○ He wasn't in any of his usual spots around Liyue, and you were starting to grow tired. When your stomach growled, you decided stopping for lunch would be for the best and looked for a restaurant to eat at.

○ It was as you were looking around that you spotted Childe exiting one, a woman in tow with him. You hadn't seen her before, but you assumed it was another diplomat the Fatui wanted to grow closer with. Childe was surprisingly good at smoothing relations over with the Liyue diplomats.

○ You decided to go and see him to congratulate him on a job well done. Judging by the way she was giggling and clinging to his arm he'd done a good job! Too good evidently, as his hand moved down to her hip, pulling her closer with a smirk he'd only ever reserved for you before...

○ When he leant down to kiss her, you couldn't stop the gasp that escaped your lips. Childe shot away from her as if he'd just been burned, snapping his head around to look at you.

"(Y/N)... Ah, I didn't realise you were here."

○ He sounded as if he'd resigned himself to his fate. As if this were just a minor inconvenience rather than something important. And that stung more than catching him cheating. Did he really not even care? Did you mean that little to him...?

○ You glared at him through your tears, your hands coming to your stomach, and it was only as you moved that you saw a flash of emotion in his eyes. He blinked softly, confused as the gears slowly started to turn in his head... He took a step closer and you took a step back. Undeterred he continued to try to advance, a smile breaking out on his lips.

"Comrade, dear, you're pregnant, aren't you? That's our kid in there, right? (Y/N) That's wonderful news!"

○ He laughed. He had the damn audacity to laugh. You shook your head, shoving him away as you turned to leave. You weren't going to stay here and be subject to this any more. He grabbed your arm though, still trying to keep you there. As if your news had washed away what he had done.

"Let go of me. I'm not even sure I want to keep it now. And if I do, you aren't having any part in their life. We're done Ajax. I never want to see you again."

○ The venom in your voice was enough to make him let go. To make him let you go. There was a soft farewell murmured from the harbinger, but you didn't bother to look back at him. You didn't want to see him again. And honestly, you never did see Childe again after that day.

Kaeya:

○ You and Kaeya had quite the casual relationship. You were dating yes, and you were loyal to each other of course. But you didn't stop him from flirting with others, knowing that was often how he got his information. You knew he would always come back to you at the end of the day, and with the news that you had for him you were certain he wouldn't leave you.

○ You were pregnant. Lisa had confirmed it, though she had advised going to the church too just to be certain. You thought about visiting a little later on, but for now you wanted to let Kaeya know first!

○ You knew where to find him, he would of course be at one of the taverns in the town! And you were right! As you entered Angel's Share, you spotted your boyfriend with a girl on his lap, laughing and flirting with her.

○ It stung a little sure, but you knew what he was like. Not wanting to jeopardize him if he was fishing for information, you sat at a nearby table, waiting for him to finish his work. Unfortunately, you got more than you were bargaining for when you sat there...

"Mmm, I've been enjoying the atmosphere here, but I think we could slip away somewhere more private~ (Y/N) is having another "girl's night" with Lisa, so my bed will be woefully cold tonight. Unless of course, you wanted to come and heat it up with me~"

○ What...? The blood in your veins felt like ice as you looked up at Kaeya, looking for any sign of him joking. Instead you caught his hand on her ass and the way she ground her hips down against him as she replied in a low sultry tone.

○ He was being serious... And from the sounds of it... He's done this before... You shook your head in disbelief, tears welling up, your heart pounding in your chest. How long has this gone on for...? How many signs did you ignore for him...?

○ You shot up, your chair scrapping on the floor, hands slamming down on the table as you glared at your boyfriend. You wanted shame, regret, an explanation. Just something! But instead, he looked at you with a bored expression.

"Oh, (Y/N)? I didn't see you there~ How are you dear?"

○ There was a subtle smirk on his face and you knew then and there this wasn't worth it. Not anymore. You were the only one who had taken this relationship with any ounce of seriousness. You were hurt and angry and just tired. You gave your all and he was just playing.

"I'm fine I suppose. I'm pregnant by the way, Captain, so I'll need some time off. I'll file my request with Jean later. Have a good evening Captain. Don't bother coming home."

○ There was a small bit of satisfaction as you spotted the look of surprise on his face. The way his grip loosened on his date. Did that hurt him? Good. It may be petty, but you were satisfied to know he was at least experiencing even a fraction of the same pain you were.

○ In the end though, he didn't say anything more. Didn't try to fight for you or make excuses. He just raised his glass and wished you well, letting you leave into the night, and letting you leave his life.

[madamecricket]

Fourth (and Final) Impressions of Deltarune Chapter 2

Edit: forgot to put a readmore. Forgive me! Spoilers under the cut!

- So I wasn’t even in the palace very long before we got to a series of puzzles that Berdly couldn’t solve, much to his frustration. I figured Berdly was building up to something, either a boss fight or a growth moment, and it was the second one. Turns out when you thrive off of praise, you develop a bit of a dependency... good on him to be self-aware.

- In the flashback sequence with the spelling bee, I noticed the word Noelle got nervous and stuck on - “December”. See, I remember another sequence in the city where we had a character moment with Noelle while pressing a series of switches that spelled out “December.” Clearly the word is significant to her in some way, and probably a negative way considering how it made her freeze up. Either something big happened in December, or something big happened involving a person close to her named December, since I remember her mentioning a “Dess”. I’m looking forward to where this goes.

- The theme in the Queen’s palace slaps, just gotta say that before we go further.

- So backtracking a bit, Lancer has been stone-ified, and Ralsei knows exactly what’s up: the dark fountains create worlds, the dark fountains that was sustaining Lancer’s world is gone, and that’s why Lancer is stone now. He’ll be fine, though, if we can get him back to Ralsei’s castle town and the fountain there. Good of him to offer a solution, except...

- ... hold the fuck up, Ralsei. So you’re telling me that this happened to Lancer because of the loss of his dark fountain - which Ralsei encouraged us to go through - and because of that, the Dark World that Lancer comes from is no more? And what’s more, Lancer now depends on the Castle Town fountain - that is, Ralsei’s fountain - to live. He is now life-bound to your town, Ralsei. He literally cannot leave you and still live, and even if he could, the world he knew is gone. Oh, but it’s ok, because you conveniently have a place for him to live under your roof now. 

- And, hold on, who was it who told us we had to go through the Dark Fountain to get home?? I played through the first chapter just recently, that was you, Ralsei. I definitely remember Ralsei saying we had to do that, he gave us that quest in the first place, and I definitely do not remember him mentioning at any point that this would end with Lancer’s world being destroyed. This is absolutely not fine, Ralsei. Oh, and considering how conveniently us getting isekai’d in the library lines up with Ralsei suddenly insisting we had to go and do homework... Ralsei, are you the one isekai-ing us???

- *deep breath* Okay. I’m calling it now. There’s something Ralsei isn’t telling us. I joked earlier about how he wants to bake us into cakes and eat us, but to be clear, I think whatever’s going on here is more complicated than “Ralsei was the bad guy all along”. I get the feeling that Ralsei’s desire for friendship, especially towards Kris, is very genuine. It’s just... this whole situation is reminding me of Asriel’s deal in Undertale. Fitting considering the whole anagram situation... I wonder how Deltarune!Asriel is going to play into this.

- Okay, back to more current stuff in the game. I met up with Roulsx Kaard (idc how to spell it) again and he’s facing me in... the thrashing machine I made in the first chapter. I’m serious. Same color and everything, holy shit.

- behold the majesty

- COMETH FORTH, MY SQUEAKY DUCKY!!!

- ...whut?

- this is excellent. I’m going to die of excellent.

- ohh, now he’s gonna transform... aaaaand...

- oh. ... you know, I wondered when it was gonna catch up to him?

- ice cold, Ralsei. Ice cold.

- “Why don’t we close our eyes and imagine how she’s doing now” Just like last game... is Ralsei actually activating some kind of power when this happens?

- “I wish Dess could see this”? I knew it! I’m on to something!

- taking a moment to acknowledge the shipping energy in the air

- Noelle (paraphrased): “Where are we, anyway?” Me: say “Dark World” Susie: “You’re just having a dream” Again with Susie thwarting player intentions...

- .. a heart-covered Ferris Wheel. Okay, Toby Fox, we’re doing this now!

- Susie has a tail???

- BERDLY WHAT

- And again, we return from a Susie Sequence to Ralsei apparently explaining something to Kris and finishing with a variation of “so that’s why-” before getting cut off by Susie. What are you explaining, Ralsei.

- Checked a calendar in Noelle’s palace room. “Every page is the last month, every day is the 25th”... what??

- another banger of a final battle!! let’s do this!!!

- See, I had a feeling that the Queen didn’t actually want to hurt anybody, but she has a... funny... idea of what constitutes helping. It clicks with her being basically a personified search engine - she literally wants nothing more than to give people what they want and make them happy, but she’s not always great at figuring that out based on what they search. She mentions Noelle’s “sad and lonely searches”... Noelle, honey, are you ok?

- Excuse me, Queen, this Dark World was created *today*? ... And it was created by the Knight... and I already suspect that Ralsei is “isekai-ing” us... Ralsei, are you the knight?

- New important info: “Lightners” are apparently necessary to create Dark Fountains due to their determination, and unlike Undertale, determination isn’t exclusive to humans

- BERDLY!!! BERDLY IS PUTTING THAT REDEMPTION ARC TO GOOD USE!!!

- ...

... this game just became perfect

- Oh hey, White Diamond, what’s up?

- “Oh Damn I Did Not Know That” WELL NOW YOU TELL US, RALSEI!

- Susie doesn’t have a tail? Make up your mind, game!!!

- Phew. Okay. Okay. The actual game part is over. Time to process some thoughts...

- So we’ve seen two Dark Worlds so far, Lancer’s world based on games (cards, checkers, etc) and the Queen’s world based on computers and the internet. The running theme I notice so far is escapism. During her fight, the Queen monologued about a desire to fulfill the desires of people who turn to the internet to dull their pain or look for new distractions. And as for Lancer’s world... well, it’s implied to literally be made of abandoned toys. Both of them things people turn to when they need a little entertainment or escapism to avoid their real-life problems for a bit. And I think it’s been mentioned that Darkners are essentially made to serve Lightners; perhaps helping them cope with the difficulties of life? 

Even putting aside the symbolism here, Susie and Kris literally escaped to this world to blow off their classwork, and Susie in particular seems to think the Dark World is better than anything in the Light World. In the final battle, Susie, Noelle, AND Berdly were all just about to open up a Dark Fountain themselves and make themselves better lives in the Dark World and only stopped when Ralsei very firmly informed them about the Roaring. Is this going to come up again? Are these kids going to struggle with the temptation to abandon their real lives to go play eternally in the Dark World?

And isn’t that just a perfect microcosm of the relationship that people have with video games in general - including this one? The perfect opportunity to just forget about your own life for a bit and temporarily live in a different world altogether, one with battles and magic and adventure?

Just what the fuck is going on here, Ralsei? Was I too quick to accuse him of being a secret villain earlier? Is Ralsei just trying to get us to process our shit in the Dark World, and then destroy it so we move on to the Light World with renewed hope in life? .. or is he just trying to make himself the center of our fantasies?

- HOLY SHIT THE QUEEN IS HERE! THE QUEEN IS HERE AND SHE’S GONNA BE A MOM FOR LANCER!!! (or “girldad” as Lancer puts it)

- ...have the Queen and King met? I mean, it would make sense, but they haven’t been mentioned as having a relationship of any kind or even knowing each other. Is this another Toriel/Asgore kind of situation?

- HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT SHE IS HIS MOM

- So I’m just talking to NPCs around Castle Town, right, and I meet up with Seam again. He just told me to be careful not to stay in there too late and that I don’t want to get caught when the sun goes down... DAFUQ YOU MEAN, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN???

- This is wonderful, I’m now witnessing Toriel and Sans having a joke-off in person.

- (Sees Kris going in to wash their hands) (Hears Toriel say “they do that sometimes”) ...so Kris has like... a condition? The heart-ripping thing has happened before?

- (Sees last thing before credits) ...okay then!!! I think that’s all the things I can get into one post, haha! Forgot to mention some things, but I can only type so much!!! Can’t wait to talk about this later, haha!!! (holy shit)

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ��Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[hopevalley]

Season End “Podcast” Episode

Hey guys. We (Sara/@trash-god​ and I/Manna) recorded the audio post last night. The very basic rundown is that we answered some questions and discussed some things. See the end of this post if you want an approximate list of topics. I don’t think we talked about anything too surprising (and frankly I feel like we didn’t even really dig into the meat of some topics at all, for whatever that’s worth).

I’ve uploaded the file to dropbox since it can handle a file this large without any real issue.

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE FILE HERE.

You have to download the file or add it to your own Dropbox account to listen to the entire thing (it’s 5.75 hours long lol) so be sure to do that if you actually want to hear it all.

Unfortunately our connection was pretty poor so I (Manna) ended up doing most of the talking and there are some awkward silences when we couldn’t tell if one or the other was about to speak (haha) but I think overall it turned out okay. It should at least be listenable, but I do apologize for not taking the time to edit it. I just don’t have the energy.

You should see the button here on the top right, at least if you’re using Chrome:

If you have any problems downloading the file, let me know, but my only other option is to upload it to YouTube and I’d rather not do that since it’s unpolished and unedited. ;)

--

Topics discussed (under the ReadMore):

Allie’s Father (Dylan)

Allie’s Adoption

Nathan’s Inquiry

Helen Bouchard/The Manuscript

Barbershop + Fiona + Mike

Molly’s Pursuit of Bill

School Concerns

Dress Shop

Bill’s Uniform

The Triangle

Jesse and Clara

Faith and Carson

The Canfields

Henry’s Son + Christopher & Rachel

Lee and Rosemary

Ned and Florence

Other questions (in order):

1. What is your opinion on the show “remembering” and “including” all kinds of old things this season? For example, remembering Carson was a surgeon, mentions of Dottie and Abigail, adding Paul Jr as a character.

2. How do you think the historical accuracy side of things is holding up this season?

3. I miss the characters going without makeup and wearing clothes that suited their roles and positions in life better. :( What do you think about the show going back to that?

4. Come up with a fun plotline for S9 H-E-R style!

5. Who should Nathan end up with? If someone new, what type of personality would you choose for him?

6. How many seasons do you think WCtH will get in total? Will they make it past S10?

7. What character do you think was done the dirtiest by the series? How could it be fixed—if it can be?

8. Do you hope they bring back Christopher and Rachel?

9. What are your thoughts on the ‘faith’ aspect of the show (the religious one, not the character!) and do you think they’ll do more of that moving forward?

10. What do you think you’d do if you had to write a movie script for the next holiday movie for this series?

11. What do you think is ‘missing’ from the show? (Manna’s note: food & animals/pets like in Road to Avonlea, community feel outside of dire straits like the town meetings in Gilmore Girls, etc.)

12. How do you feel about adding more characters to the cast?

13. Which character do you think suffered the MOST in terms of writing quality this season, and which character got the best writing in comparison to the last few seasons?

--

Questions I asked Sara:

1. Do you feel that certain aspects of the season (Faith wearing pants, Freedom-Alls on Rachel, Fiona helping out with the fire and saying “Does it have to be a man?”—among others) are genuine but…perhaps misguided attempts by Hallmark to look progressively feminist? How do you feel about it? Would you like more attempts at this? Fewer? Better-written attempts? Any examples of how they could do it better?

2. How do you feel overall about the character writing this season? Who came out with the best writing and who was taken out behind the nearest Hardee’s and beaten to death?

3. If you could erase one plotline in S8 to make more room for another plotline of S8, what would you choose to erase and what would get more screentime?

4. Talk about one improvement you saw in S8 over the previous season(s).

5. What’s one thing you miss from previous seasons that you wish would make it back onto the show in some way?

6. Do you think Elizabeth is the new Lorigail?

--

Questions Sara asked me:

1. Why do you think they didn’t resolve the triangle with Elizabeth choosing herself instead of A Man? I almost believed they’d take that route when her gaze lingered on the title of her book.

2. What two actors currently on the show have the best chemistry?

3. Carson’s will-he-won’t-he-leave plotline consumed so much screentime and fostered nothing but a sense of annoyance. Do you think he’ll stay gone? How would you have written him off the show?

4. What do you think causes so many of the “heartfelt” scenes to come off cringey?

5. Do you think they’ll let Elizabeth stick with Lucas next season after all the vocal backlash?

--

Broader (?) Topics (that we honestly didn’t have time to discuss in more detail sorry sorry):

1. What kinds of storylines would you like to see for the existing characters moving forward?

2. Opinions on Abigail coming back (played either by Lori or by someone else)?

3. The biggest complaint about the ending was actually the “resolution” to the triangle debacle (regarding the path to getting there being sloppily done/poorly received by fans). Is that a fair criticism? Is it just now that the show has failed the audience with its poor writing?

--

I am not personally going to crosspost this to Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, Instagram, or any other platform, but I don’t mind if others do so, so feel free to pass the link around if you want.

And as always, let me know your thoughts/feel free to send follow-up questions. :)

Thanks for sticking around this season!

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

[quipadeedoodaa]

Fortunetellers Know Best

By request for @tz342, an old RaiJack AU

Working on this fic for a commission, here’s the plot for anyone’s reading pleasure ヽ( ´ ᴗ｀ ) ノ

I’ll edit the Ao3 link under the readmore once the story is finished and available

-

No showdown highschool au type deal. Jack and Rai are friends and have been for a long time. Jack is KINDA crushing on Rai but Rai's always such a ladies man he never even imagined anything would come of it, so shoves the feeling waaay deep down.

The local fair is in town for this weekend only! Raimundo and his soccer bros invite Jack to come with them. (Rai’s MVP of the team and pretty popular, Jack's just sorta quiet dweeb people don't pay much attention to) So while at the fair, Jack is just sorta tagging along feeling kind of third wheel because these are all Rai's friends not really people he knows/cares to interact with. They end up passing by a fortuneteller's tent, Jack pauses for some reason the sign really caught his attention and he suggests going in but the rest of the group had kept walking and already left him behind. Sad and lonely but bottling it up best he can as always, Jack decides why not? and goes in. The fortuneteller, a mystic named Wuya, kinda creeps him out because she seems to know so much. His analytical mind tells him there's no way it's more than a scam but his heart wishes it weren't and he takes a seat and lets her read his fortune.

She pegs him spot on significantly his deeply stifled feelings of unrequited love for his childhood friend. Now Wuya is not a mere fair worker, she is an actual witch. And as such certain abilities, such as "helpful" curses come easy to her. Seeing Jack's deep rooted sadness she decides to do something she doesn't do often and help the poor little dork out. She weaves her words and entrances him and tells him that he will find his true love, and said love will be tested. That whenever his heart pines for the one he holds most dear, his love will not be able to resist him.

Jack's kinda freaked out at the surge of.. power? in those words and pays for the fortune leaving feeling kind of off kilter. he doesn't feel like staying any longer and doesn't know where Rai and the others went so just goes home.

Anyway! Jack doesn't find out what exactly that curse did until back to school on Monday. Now, any time he sees Rai and his heart goes aflutter, he turns into a girl. Rai gets confused that his friend keeps running away all the time. Wuya of course has vanished. So jack's stuck like this for now. It takes a bit for him to calm back down enough to change back to a boy each time and he quickly gets caught as his girl self and manages to convince everyone he's his own cousin from out of state. Rai is totally hitting on girl Jack any time they meet. Jack ends up hacking the school system and adding his girl sona as a student so the teachers won't question. he stashes girl clothes including /ugh/ bra! in the janitor's closet so he can switch out when he gets switched. the Janitor (Dern Gopher man) ends up walking in on this. Jack ends up spilling everything to him and so the janitor is the only one in the know but isn't the talkative type so just deals with it and it is amusing.

Luckily he says he had a daughter so he ends up helping Jack out a lot. and of course the switch always has to happen at the most awkward of moments.

Class is in the computer lab, Rai leans over Jack's shoulder to try n see what he's doing, Jack's face goes red and since he's leaning over, BOOBS suddenly smoosh the keyboard and freak the computer out. *RUNS AWAY!*

Gym class makes the boys play tackle football and Jack ends up at the BOTTOM of the pile. Rai obviously on top of him because Rai’s a sweetheart and knows Jack was too weak for this sport so jumped in first to prevent him from being crushed but GDI Jack runs away leaving sad Rai.

He ends up confronting the girl jack and they go on a "Date" and he ends up spending the whole date asking her about jack which really throws jack off and makes him melt even more. because not only is it his first date, but it's with Raimundo and instead of flirting with obvious sexy girl material, Rai is asking and talking about Jack the whole time

Ends up Rai's never ACTUALLY dated anyone before, he just flirts with everyone. But since he and Jack are childhood friends (the kind that are always friends but don't spend as much time together as they used too and never without some of Rai’s other buddies tagging along), Jack doesn't know this.

As cliche as it always is! But precious anyway, the story ends when Rai manages to corner the still male Jack and expresses his emotions for the other. True loves kiss and all that malarkey. He kisses Jack AS Jack, and jack just melts and then when it's over he realizes he's still a boy.

Rai's upset because he thought he'd been loosing Jack all this time, he doesn't realize what was really going on, and so he panicked and acted on his own crush

Epilogue, Jack visits the janitor and goes on and on about all that happened so super excited because RAI LIKES HIM BACK! And tells the man that it looks like he won't need to use the closet for quick changes anymore but thanks for helping him out. Then after grabbing his junk, he runs off. Janitor shakes his head and smirks and suddenly it's Wuya "Ahh, teen love." She laughs and closes the door to the janitor's closet, a flash of light from under the door and she's gone.

Archive of Our Own | Ko-Fi

[sansofhumor]

title: hey, kid, you’ve goat this rating: pg? characters: sans, papyrus, frisk, asgore tags: sanscentric, referenced character death, AU, death and grief

notes: this is uhhhhhh, raw and not edited bc i die, boy. super self-indulgent. no questons asked. where’s asriel?? chara?? no one knows don’t ask me!! here it is on Ao3! ((for content warnings: the character death isn’t for any of the listed characters, and isn’t described, but the fallout is... basically the whole fic.)

sans hesitates after stepping in the building, glancing around haphazardly. there's a cashier to his left, and walls of clothing in every direction except for in front of him, which has uh, watches? he looks up but the signs aren't very informative. womens, mens, housewares. aren't all these clothes technically house-wears? heh.

"Hello! Do you--uh, do you need help?" The cashier stutters when he turns to face them, but makes a remarkable effort at keeping the surprise off his face and smiling.

((readmore for mobile))

"uh, looking for a suit, or something." he shrugs, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Let me get you some help!" The cashier speaks into a headset and then tells sans someone will be right there. he shrugs. that's fine. suppose it'd be easier to let someone who might know what they're doing take the reins.

in a matter of moments, another employee comes racing down the aisle stuttering to a stop before him. it's not very busy in the store but they look stressed anyways. despite that, they're smiling. they introduce themselves.

"How can I help you today?"

"just looking for a suit jacket. black. uh cheap?" he says, tacking that last bit on as an afterthought.

"Hmm. Well we aren't going to have a very big selection, but let's look in our clearance!" They lead the way and sans awkwardly follows, into the racks of clothes. They stop in front of a small selection and sans tilts his head looking at what's on offer.

"Do you know your size?"

"uh, round?" he says, looking down at himself then back up at them.

"Try this one?"  

he does. the arms are long, but it hangs alright.

"Hmm, that's a regular, so we're looking for a 40, 42 short." They mumble, picking another jacket. this one is grey. he shrugs into it easily enough. it's still a little long,  but better.

"heh, something wrong?" he asks and the associate winces.

"You need black, you said?"

"yeah, uh. special occasion."

"We don't have much here, there's the grey. Darker grey. Blue. We have some sixty percent off stuff?" They nervously shuffle their feet. he takes a look at the tag. Forty five dollars and it's 90% off.

"eh, sure."

sans takes a look at the jackets, but they're all navys and tans. the associate looks mildly embarrassed, still clutching the slightly too long, dark grey jacket.

"That's all we have, uh, in that price range… do-- when do you need the jacket?”

sans looks at his wrist. it’s bare. he shrugs. “sooner the better.”

“Yeah, the earliest we’re going to get some more markdowns is in a few days. Uhm, and all we have is this--the dark grey. And the black in a smaller size.” They awkwardly shuffle again, gripping the jacket.

“yeah, see, it’s for a uh funeral. gotta be black.” he reaches out and tilts the sleeve so it catches the fluorescent lighting, “or white i guess.”

They start shaking their head immediately, reluctantly informing him they don’t carry white outside of prom season.

“Uhm, I don’t know if this is the first store you tried. Uhm, but the only other place I can think to try is a thrift store--”

“well,” sans shrugs, “i’m actually. late. already.”

the human boggles.

“Oh, I’m--” they frown, “We can-- gosh we don’t have any coupons or anything out. Uhm, you can always return it later? If you’re only going to use it once, I mean. We’ll take it back, no problem.”

“sounds like work,” he breathes. and work? it’s just not like him. she’d understand. “she wouldn’t recognize me in a suit anyways.”

“Oh,” the human glances at him before looking away, “Uh. I--”

“welp. i’ll get outta your hair then.”

“Wait--” sans waits. “Uhm, I just. You look like you’re going through a rough time? Are you uhm, gonna be okay?”

in general, or right now? because, as long as he, you know, doesn’t think about it, he’s fine. he looks at their face. oh, they’re asking-- “it’s fine, i’ve got a shortcut. no breakdowns while driving for me, at least none of the emotional kind, heh.” he sees them whisper ‘breakdowns’. they look like they want to laugh but not offend him. they wrestle the urge down.

“Okay.” they look down at the coat again. “I think… I think whatever you show up in will be okay. She-- she’ll understand.”

sans wishes they’d laughed instead.

“you’re right, tori never let me get her goat anyways, knew i was always kidding around.” he waits just a second before he remembers this person won’t get the joke. he sighs.

“Well. I hope you uh…” they frown hard for a moment. he waits patiently. it’s what he does. “I hope you have... I hope your day is--” they look like they are about to quit. he smiles. well, he’s always smiling. “I hope your spirits lift soon! It’s a shame to see them so … depressed?”

he gives the joke a second of breathing room. the human’s face slowly morphs into one of unrestrained horror. he starts chuckling, then laughing, his breath leaving him in a woosh of amusement. “heh, gotta say, kid, that was a real rib tickler.” they breath a sigh of relief. “you gotta future in amateur comedy, if this sales thing don’t work out. anyways, i’ll leave you to it, kid. thanks for giving me a chuckle, you really made someone’s day.”

“Uh, bye, then!” they give a wave. he walks into the dressing room. he’s gone when they check in on him.

monster funerals are pretty cool. monsters turn to dust when they die, so the most integral part of the ceremony is spreading dust on their most loved things. normally a monster will have a small ceremony, with their surviving family and their close friends spreading the dust on a favorite book, or instrument. maybe, the dust would get split between those who had been closest to the fallen. however, when someone who touched the souls of almost every monster living falls down, the arrangements are a bit different.

Toriel hadn’t been a small monster. but still, her dust doesn’t amount to much. the urnful of ash doesn’t look like it should be all that’s left of the boss monster. it looks small, dainty almost, and though Toriel had never been ungainly, dainty wasn’t a word sans would use to describe her. regal maybe.

there is a line, a procession before him, of monsters. some with various knicknacks gripped in their limbs, some with nothing. all of them there to honor Toriel. she had loved the people in her community and she had touched so many lives and all those souls want closure. some hold precious memories-- “Toriel gave me this recipe while planning for the PTA bake sale, she said it was for her favorite pie”--and they receive a sprinkle of dust, so toriel’s essence can live on in those happier times. some only have the memories in their head, but they still want to be there, to offer their sympathies.

the urn grows deeper as it is emptied of toriel’s dust. if sans were prone to feeling bitter, if he could muster up the effort, he might be tempted to feel bitter about this. tori’s dust being spread so thin, across so many monsters. by rights, tori’s kid should be the one who gets to lay tori’s dust where they want. Tori’s kid, and maybe Asgore, her ex husband, depending on how she felt before she fell. but her dust was spread thin the way her love never was, and if he thinks about it, this is really what tori would have wanted. this ritual, spread across so many, is something to give the monsters in the community hope. to keep their will up even when a pillar has fallen.

besides, why should he get upset over this? it’s not like he wants any of her dust for himself. he has nothing to spread it over, no mementos or sentiments he can hold onto. just a door and some jokes they spent hours and hours on. the soft memory of her braying laughter, the noise of his bones knock knocking against wood. he hadn’t settled in her life, and he’d made sure she couldn’t settle in his.

though, the way his soul feels, he was maybe not too successful at the latter.

he stands at the edge of the gathering until everyone has filed away. he sees a couple monsters he knows-- the neighborhood watchdogs, the school’s coach and science teacher. he sees his brother as well. he sees them all come and go until only asgore remains. he stays until asgore leaves as well, returning to the quaint and tidy house toriel had lived in. he makes his way to the tree they’d stood under. the tree hadn’t meant anything special to toriel, but he isn’t going to interrupt what remains of her family with his tired jokes.

he raps his knuckles against the tree. “knock knock.”

nobody answers.

“hopper.”

“hopper happy on the other side.”

he waits and knocks again.

“knock knock…. baaa….. can’t you tell yourself? i’ve gotten your goat!” inspired, he follows that up quickly with another one. “knock knock… goat… what goat, can’t you see i’m kidding around?” he chuckles.

then he knocks again.

“knock knock…. your leaf….. you’re leafing me bonely, pal.”

and finally: “knock knock. i’ll fish…. i’ll fish you a lot.”

he sighs and thunks his head against the tree trunk. well, that’s as much of a eulogy as he is going to make. kind of went off on a tangent there. welp.

there’s another knocking sound, but this one doesn’t come from him.

“who’s there?” he answers the call obligingly. he’s informed that there’s an interrupting drop bear waiting at his door. “interrupting drop bear who--” a kid tumbles into his arms from the branches above. they’re lucky he’s magical.

“oof, there you are, kiddo. was wondering where you were hiding. oh, you’re wondering why i was late? i had problems with a suitor.” they look at him questioningly. “couldn’t find a suitable jacket.” they look at his worn hoodie and nod their head in agreement. he chuckles and sets them on the ground. “‘sides, better later than never, am i right?” they only shrug.

“well, come on, time to get you inside and fed. it’s getting late.” they take his hand, and he forces himself not to pull away. he walks them up to the door of toriel’s cottage home and knocks, two quick raps out of habit.

“I’ll be just a minute, who’s there?” that’s asgore.

“i’ll be just a minute.”

“Oh, I’ll be just a minute who?” Asgore asks, opening the door, a tired smile on his face. he probably only answered that way because he recognizes sans voice.

“i’ll be just a minute is you,remember?  i’m sans. this is frisk.” he winks. “hey, ‘gorey. goat your kid.”

Asgore blinks, smile trembling a moment before pulling himself back together.

“Ahh, yes… my, hmm. Frisk, I had been wondering where you were at. Thank you, for bringing them home safely, Sans.”

“no prob, i’ll just get outta your way now, then--”

“Nonsense, please, let me invite you in for a cup of tea. I’m sure Frisk would appreciate the company.” as would i, he doesn’t add, but sans can read it on his face well enough. of course asgore doesn’t want to be alone right now. well... sans isn’t very good company right now.

“nah, it’ll just go straight through me, you know that.” he huffs a laugh.

“If you are quite certain, there are some leftovers in the kitchen, still.”

“well, if ya add food into the equation, guess i’m a variable after all.” asgore does not look like he gets the joke. sans won’t explain it.

the dinner is an awkward affair. there’s the remains of a snail casserole, heated up by fire magic. Frisk is sitting next to him, asgore is seated at the head of the table, though not the side that toriel would’ve taken. asgore made tea for them all anyway, and sans drinks it. it’s floral, and it dissipates like all magic food.

“She had a Last Will and Testament notarized,” asgore announces, not quite out of the blue.

“that requires some, uh, foresight.” he comments. asgore glances at him and shuffles his cutlery around.

“We’re reading it tomorrow, in the morning at the courthouse.”

“prompt, sounds good.” he doesn’t know why asgore would be telling him this. he looks at asgore’s face, catches his eyeline, follows it to the kid. “ah,” he says.

“Ah?”

“you need a kidsitter?” he asks. frisk wrinkles their nose at him. they’re not a-- “yeah yeah you’re not a baby, did i call you one?” he winks and frisk pouts. “i don’t have plans, i can make sure your kid is flat as a pancake by the time you come back.”

he’s not really sure why anyone thinks he’s responsible enough for kid duty. toriel had asked him quite a lot. well, he supposes frisk makes it easy most of the time. sure they get into tight spots, but they aren’t nearly the hellion papyrus was at that age.

“That’s not-- actually. Yes, that would work out fine, I believe. Would you like to stay the night then, so you do not have to make the trip twice over?” asgore is incredibly good at looking pleading and open and soft.

“eh, gotta text papyrus. he might want a sleepover with his favorite human too. you willing to host that?” he asks. he, uh, doesn’t really want to spend the night under tori’s roof when he knows that he won’t stumble upon her laughing in her kitchen or reading in the armchair by the fireplace. unfortunately, his brother is really cool and everyone knows that.

“I’d be delighted to have your brother here. He’d be welcome.”

he texts papyrus. papyrus would REALLY, REALLY LOVE TO HAVE A “SLEEP” OVER AT THE HUMAN’S, SANS! BECAUSE I AM SUCH A GOOD AND PREPARED FRIEND, I WILL BRING ALL THE NECESSARY EQUIPMENT. SPAGHETTI, PUZZLES, A VACUUM!  

his brother really lightens the mood when he arrives. bearing puzzles and tupperware containers of food--and dragging a vacuum he insists on using before the night is up--he forcefully injects smiles and optimism into the small gathering. gosh. sans brother is just so cool.

asgore gets along well with Papyrus, he makes a pretty good foil for sans’ excitable brother. still, he bows out of the party games early, thanking them both for offering to keep an eye on the kid the next day.

sans watches the kid and papyrus giggling together over their puzzle game. they keep trying to entice him to join them but he’s content with dozing on the couch.  they rouse him enough to tell him they're ready for bed, looking at him expectantly.

“hmm, you're right it is getting late. ‘night, then.” he rolls over, mostly to hide his amused face.

“SANS!”

he snickers, catches himself, and turns it into a loud snore.

the kid tugs at his jacket as papyrus yells some more. he keeps pretending. the tugs on his jacket stop, and papyrus goes quiet. sans gets suspicious.

“ONE. TWO. THREE!” there’s a rush of movement and then the kiddo is landing in him. he lets out a whoof of air as they settle on him.

“ah, nice of you to drop in.” they giggle. papyrus, who is still holding their arms where he helped soften their landing, scoffs. “oh, you wanted a bedtime story before catching some shut-eye?”

“OF COURSE WE DO SANS! IT’S TRADITION!”

“well, can’t say no to tradition, i guess. settle in.”

papyrus squeezes onto the couch next to them, and sans begins the story with “once upon a time".

the next morning sans wakes to the sound of people getting ready for the day. none of them are being quiet about it, all of them used to him sleeping through anything. he’d actually had a decent amount of sleep though, and as such his mind is reluctantly drawn to wakefulness.

the house smells like breakfast spaghetti, so papyrus must’ve convinced asgore to let him in the kitchen already. asgore’s deep voice was commenting on something something sauce, so he is also in the kitchen. that leaves…

he opens his eyes and meets frisk’s. they grin at him, steady. he returns the smile.

“morning, kiddo. youre up already? heh, yeah we all know who the lazy bones here is.” he sits up and notices that the kid is dressed in a jumper instead of the pajamas they fell asleep last night.

“ready to chill today?” he asks.

they pout at him, smile melting off their face. he raises the ridge above his eye sockets. they just shrug and tug on his sleeve again.

“alright, time for breakfast, then.” he lets himself be pulled up and dragged to the table where papyrus has already set everything out.

“oh, neat, bro, spaghetticakes. my favorite!”

“SANS, YOU SAID MY SPAGHETTI CASSEROLE WAS YOUR FAVORITE?”

“yeah, bro, if you make it, it’s my favorite.”

“AWWW, A GENUINE COMPLIMENT!” papyrus takes a moment out of his busy routine to skip over to sans and give due affection. sans soaks it up like a sponge, albeit a lazy one

“so, getting ready for that willing?” sans asks asgore, who is busy pushing his breakfast around his plate.

“Ah, yes. That. That is. I have received word that Frisk should be present, so it turns out your supervision will not be necessary. I am sorry for inconveniencing you and your brother.”

“doesn’t seem like the kid wants to go.”

“Be that as it may.” asgore starts, and then let’s go, as if it explains everything.

“why not just, you know, let the kid hang out here. no need to drag ‘em with you.”

“It’s very important they attend.” he sighs, resigned. “If sparing them this would benefit them in the long run, I would do so.” he admits. “Again, I apologize for inconveniencing you.”

sans shrugs at the kid. he tried.

“OH. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! THOUGH IT DOES SEEM MEAN TO HAVE GOTTEN FRISK’S HOPES TO HANG OUT WITH A COOL SKELETON LIKE ME UP AND THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH ON THAT PROMISE…. PERHAPS WE CAN STILL ‘HANG’ AFTER YOUR COURT THING?”

frisk nods excitedly. they want ice cream.

“I do have something to attend after the meeting. I was planning on taking Frisk, but if you’d still like to watch them?”

“OF COURSE!”

“Would it be too much trouble to accompany us to the reading then? That way no one will have to make this trip twice.”

sans narrows his eye-sockets. “was really planning on, uh, taking it easy today.”

“NONSENSE SANS. YOU TAKE IT EASY EVERYDAY. WE’LL JOIN YOU.”

well. now papyrus would just carry him there if he tried to stay behind.

asgore prefers wearing those tropical shirts with the obnoxious patterns and dad shorts. today he’s wearing a suit. sans wonders where toriel was hiding an asgore sized suit-- why she was hiding an asgore sized suit-- or if asgore had brought it with him and hung it somewhere in toriel’s closet. the guest room closet, perhaps, but still toriel’s.

sans would be wearing that suit jacket if he’d ever gotten around to buying it. as it is, he’s dressed in his dirty blue hoodie. everyone else in the room is wearing clean, somber colors. except papyrus of course, in his bright scarf.

he doesn’t mind. he’s too busy passing notes to frisk, who is on the verge of tears. he wants to be mad at asgore. but he looks on the verge of tears as well. the kid opens the note. it’s a poorly drawn caricature of the human reading the legalese of toriel’s will. it startles a chuckle out of the kid.

“The house will be donated to the Monster Wellness Association, under conditions that they use it in line with their mission statement, stipulations on page 8.”

Frisk tenses again and sans wants to grab their hand and take ‘em to get ice cream right now! all this was doing was making the kid realize how much of their mother they were losing at once. not just toriel herself, but the kitchen she cooked in, the fireplace, the cozy room sans had “helped" paint (there was one skeletal handprint underneath the even coat).  

“All of my worldly belongings are bequeathed to my child, Frisk. Frisk may part and parcel them how they choose, though I ask them to consider donating what they do not wish to keep or give to friends to a reputable charity.”

the kid’s breath starts to hitch. sans doesnt know how to help. he has a feeling silly notes wont cut it his time. instead he puts his hand out, and isnt surprised when the kid grips it shakily.

“Concerning Frisk, as I am their only gaurdian and there is no next of kin to take on that role, I will offer my intentions here.” asgore shuts his eyes. ouch, that’s rough, buddy. maybe calling frisk his kid was a little premature. but what else was sans supposed assume? though asgore and toriel had broken up years ago, sans just thought. you know. asgore would, uh. Inherit the kid?

“Though, perhaps unexpected, I believe this the best course of action for everyone involved. I would like to name C. Sans guardian of my child, Frisk.”

because asgore actually had kid, heh, raising experience and toriel had known him for-- wait. What?

“what was that?”

frisk looks at him with wide eyes.

Papyrus looks at him with wide eyes.

“WOWIE BROTHER! DOES THIS MAKE ME AN UNCLE?”

even he knows it would be a dick move to shortcut the hell out of there. the kid still has his hand so he can’t anways, unless he wants a hitchhiker. he does glare in asgore’s direction.  asgore avoids his eyeline. coward.

well. perhaps sans shouldn't be throwing stones.

he keeps his peace so the rest of tori’s will can be read. quietly biding his time, trying to catch asgore’s eyes, avoiding the kid’s.  he still doesn’t take away his hand, and the kid hasn’t let go, but he doesn’t think that reassures either of them.

once the place nearly clears out, sans stands and corners the officiator. asgore seems to have a similar idea.

“OH! FRISK WHY DON’T WE LOOK FOR ICE CREAM. OUTSIDE. WHERE ICE CREAM IS?”

papyrus meets sans’ eyes for half a second. long enough for sans to feel properly chastised and encouraged, like papyrus had found time to lecture and give him a pep talk all within a glance. a pepyrus talk. Heh.

once theyre both gone, he faces the front of the room.

“so you knew about this, ‘gorey?” there’s a question mark, but it isn’t really a question.

“I could not find the right time to bring it up. Toriel had, ah, discussed it with me before. I thought she was planning to have this conversation with you, and it was not my place to intercede and yet…” he trails off.

“you want the kid, don’t you?”

“I do, of course. And will take them in if you find you're not ready to take the responsibility.”

“thought you’d put up more of a fight,”

the boss monster squares his shoulders and faces sans, for real. his stare flinty, stern.

“Do not mistake me, Sans. You are my friend, but if I thought for a second you would do wrong by Toriel’s memory, we would already be in a courtroom.” his eyes soften just a bit, “As it is, that would leave Frisk in a precarious position, and I would not wish to do that when there are other, less drastic means.”

sans hummed, shrugging his shoulders under his jacket. “youre hoping i back out so theres no fuss or muss, eh?”

“You,” asgore scratches his nose, caught out. “You are not known for taking on such responsibility, by your own admission, my friend.”

“hmn,” sans acknowledges his point, “so i, uh, what, refuse custody and the kid gets to go home to your place?”

“Well,” the human interrupts, “Frisk would be temporarily placed in child services, as you are the only officially named next of kin. They’d go down the list-- perhaps your brother, since he is your next of kin-- evaluating each person’s qualifications as guardian. It could take quite a while before Mr. Dreemur is considered, though I’m sure it could be expedited.”

sans narrows his eye sockets, “whattabout what the kid wants, eh? you’d just ship ‘em off with strangers when there’s plenty of monsters they know who’d be willin’ to take ‘em in?”

the human shrugs, “Not me, personally. It’s the system.”

“The process would not take long at all,” asgore says, “It would be quite quick after I submit my application.”

“why was tori so deadset on me havin the kid anyways,”

“I’m afraid it is more that she didn't want me to have them. She was still quite mad at me, despite how she pretended at aloofness.”

sans considered. “why wouldnt she want you to step in, ‘gorey? youre not terrible, whatever your differences. she never had a problem with frisk spending time with you.”

Asgore’s mouth flattened, as did his ears. “Her arguments were… several. I suppose. I am often quite busy, caring full time for frisk would require careful scheduling. I also live quite a distance away, and moving would most likely require frisk to change school zones. They are not unimportant issues but also not something I cannot overcome.”

“yeah, thats what i figured too, but if that were it, tori would've still listed you as an option… something you ain’t telling me?”

sans carefully examines asgore’s face. the tightening of his jaw, the wrinkle between his brows. considers toriel, what she would say about her and asgores lives, when they were together.

he used to be so reliable, she said.

sans would argue that asgore is still reliable. busy, yes. he is the official monster delegate, wielding almost unparalleled political power of course he’s busy. but even as such he always makes time for frisk, his duties, his friends, his hobbies. though sans can see the weight of it on him, he also knows asgore would not let it interfere with frisk’s care.

but then he stopped being reliable for toriel. made decisions about their lives he didn’t consult her about. and when she did try to talk to him about it, he nodded and listened and was sad and contrite but did not bend. it became something toriel could not-- didn’t want to--overcome. so she left.

“what if frisk doesn't want to switch schools?”

“I don’t foresee it being difficult to persuade them of the advantages of a different school district. They aren't a troublesome child.”

“‘course not. hey, why don't we ask them?”

“What?” asgores eyebrows climb up his worried forehead.

“yeah, seems like something they should have a say in, ya’know.” he walks to the door as asgore stumbles over his words.

“You do not think-- all of this stress they are already under-- I understand the importance of--”

and he pulls the door open, a skeleton and a child tumbling into the room when they didn’t scramble back fast enough. sans raises an orbital ridge at his brother. papyrus pops back up and dusts off his body.

“WHY FRISK… IT LOOKS LIKE THE ICE CREAM IS NOT HERE??”

sans shakes his head and looks down at frisk. “whaddaya say, kiddo?”

frisk looks up at him, nervously, before glancing at asgore. the big guy just waves a little, smiling softly. he really does just want the best for frisk, he just has a tendency to make decisions first and cry about them later.

“hey, ‘sall right, buddy, it’s not a decision you have to make now, alright? we can have another sleepover and talk about it in the morning.”

frisk nods, cautiously standing up, reaching for Papyrus’s hand. they go get icecream.

despite the will it still takes awhile for toriel’s wishes to go through with finalization. this mostly means sans is spending a lot of nights on toriel's couch while waiting for frisk’s decision. finally the deed for the house changes names and sans gets the notification.

frisk is still a child, there's no way they know what they will have wished they'd kept and what to give away. still, sans has no part in this process, and he's slowly realizing asgore doesn't quite have a say either.  

“I can have the important things moved to my home, or a storage facility for Frisk to go through when they are feeling up to it. I can have a list of charities by tomorrow as well, for the rest of it.”

“they gave us time, no one is gonna kick us out because frisk hasn't sorted through everything.” sans feels the need to say, since frisk is still in their room.

“I would not throw away anything of sentimental value.” asgore seems offended.

“didn't say so, buddy, just think that maybe frisk should have a say instead of dealing with whatever we think is important instead.”

asgore's nostrils flare, but his shoulders slump and he nods his head. “We shouldn't tarry, however kind the MWA are being.”

sans thinks that the MWA will let them stay as long as they need, but he doesn't press the issue. he decides he should ask the kid how they want to go about this. he kind of doesn't want to deal with it. but if frisk doesn't make their decision, asgore will and though sans isn't the sentimental type he can tell frisk is. what if they throw away a pie tin, and in twenty years frisk will have a break down because they dont have their mother's pie tin to make their mother's favorite pie?

well, maybe he's over thinking this.

he knocks on their bedroom door, then lets himself in.

frisk is a lump on the floor, not even under any blankets. sans steps into the room.

“what's up, kiddo?” they turn to look at him, and their face is miserable. yeah, hearing that it was time to pack up and divide what was left of your mother's life would do that to you.

“you don't have to do it on your own, kiddo. you’ll have all the help you can want.”  frisk wipes under their eyes hastily, though they aren't crying. “i can call pap, he’ll be down to help with everything. he can bring undyne--she probably won't suplex anything if you ask her.”

frisk’s smile is wobbly.

“asgore has got a place set up to help store everything you want, you don't have to worry about space.” frisk hiccups softly, surprising themselves and sans cant help but chuckle at their surprised expression.

he takes the opportunity to shuffle closer and pat their back reassuringly. humans are so weird, with their flesh and trapped air bubbles and reflexively convulsive muscles.

when they calm down, frisk tugs his sleeve enough to get his attention. he inhales a bit sharp. they smile at him hopefully.

“...yeah, you got me, too.” their smile grows.  he gets an idea, and lets himself drop on them. he hears them make a noise of surprise. “oh no,” he says, “looks like you really got me, you're too strong.”

frisk is giggling, pretending to shove him away with their small hands. “i can't escape, your gravitational pull is just too strong,” he leans more weight onto them, carefully. frisk is laughing now, breathless as they flail their limbs, pushing at his loose jacket and his rough bones. with a jolt they finally collapse, and they both fall flat.

he laughs, and waits until they focus on him again, their cheeks and eyes red, but not from stifling tears anymore. “hey, kiddo.” frisk hums in acknowledgment. “looks like your stuck with me, huh.”

their hand finds his again.

he finds he's starting to mind it less.

the kid is looking indecisive at the trash. sans is leaning against the counter. he's sure that toriel would have asked frisk to take the garbage bag to the curb as one of their chores before-- well. and now the kid is frozen, sad eyes staring at the garbage can with something heavy crawling across their back.

sans doesn't know what it's like, longing so deeply for something. sometimes, he's not sure he really knows what feeling anything is like anymore.

there's nothing more that sans wants than to leave frisk to have this moment alone. but he'd already promised the kid that they were stuck with him, and it's not like he is going to make himself useful by actually packing up tori’s--now the kid’s--belongings. so he stays, and watches frisk's shoulders stiffen with decision.

they take out the trash.

it's one more thing they're saying goodbye to.

a lot of the furniture has been parceled between the friends gathered to help frisk. undyne had snagged quite a few kitchen appliances, asgore had been surprised and touched when frisk gave him toriel's bookshelves and her treasured chairiel.

there were quite a few things frisk was donating as well, both to a monster shelter--a lot of toriel's non-perishable foodstuffs and blankets--and to the mwa group moving in.

some other things were for asgore's storage system, to be considered another day--toriel’s clothes, her stacks of books, the teaching supplies.

frisk seems reluctant to actually keep anything for themselves, despite sans insisting that they can keep every item in the house. not like asgore cant afford that much storage. there's a lot that frisk lingers over, but hesitates to grab. a book of snail facts that frisk rubs a finger over before placing it in a box headed for asgore's house.

sans, despite everything else, knows the importance of bedtime stories and he knicks the tome when noone is looking.

and now frisk is getting teary eyed over the trash can. sans doesn't want to psychoanalyze that, but it's not like he can stop himself from reading the tense lines in their body.

he hops up onto the kitchen counter, the movement familiar enough to him. he knocks into the knife block, and frisk’s eyes snap to him. their gaze slides over to the knives, contemplating.

they drag a new box to the counter and reach towards the cabinets, ignoring the knives.

“oh, you think since i'm up here i'm game to help you?” he leans back, resting against the backsplash, short enough that the cabinets dont bother him.

they shake their head and rattle the box insistently and sans relents.

“‘k. but only ‘cause youre even shorter than me.” and instead of reaching up to hand the mugs in the cupboard to the kid, he just turns their soul blue and lifts them up to the cabinets.

they laugh, delighted, and plop the box on sans' lap, before getting down to business.

frisk isn't going about this methodically, though they are being thorough. it probably doesn't help that the rest of their friends are disorganized themselves, each deciding to tack different areas. mostly this means that frisk has already helped undyne and papyrus pack up a lot of the dishes and pots and pie tins--frisk didn't keep any for themselves, but gave Papyrus everything from the casserole dish to the smallest tart round. sans doesnt know why, his brother doesn't really bake and always looks quizzical when sans offers a quiche on the rare occasion sans gives him a night off from dinner duty--but there are still coffee mugs since undyne has too many already and Papyrus doesn't really drink things that can't be put into a normal glass.

frisk carefully pulls these down and hands them to sans, who dutifully wraps them in newspaper and places them into the box. toriel had a lot of mugs, a lot of funny ones and collectible ones. he huffs a laugh at i like you a latte as he wraps the papers around it.

frisk laughs as well, and hands him another, this one saying this is some with a picture of a koala and a tea bag. that one is very good.

another mug, another joke. “that's what.” -she is particularly clever and sans can see it delighting the part of toriel who loved teaching.

frisk gestures to be let down and as soon as their feet touch the tile they take off to another cabinet, digging through the contents before running back to sans and the box.

sans wraps up a salt shaker and tilts his head and the ceramic battery sculpture paired with it. frisk huffs and shakes some pepper out of the batter and sans is positively delighted.

“a salt and battery!” sans laughs, doubling over on the counter, “that one really--” he tries to catch a breath between his chuckling, “that one really packs a punch, kid!”

frisk helps sans off the counter when he gets over his laughing fit, and gathers a few more punny kitchenware for the box before giving it back to sans.

“alright, where do’ya want this one?” he follows frisk's direction and sets the box down, deliberately separate from but still related to Papyrus’ stack of boxes.

“oh--” he, uh, he doesn't know what to say now.

frisk looks at him, expression determined.

“IS THIS ONE MY BROTHER'S THEN?”

Papyrus swoops in and snags the box from between them.

“ah, pap--”

“YES, SANS?” Papyrus looks guilelessly at sans, cradling the box. frisk is nervously biting their lip. okay. yeah, this isn't the hill he's going to die on. he can just. put them in a drawer somewhere and not look at them, or something. no need to get worked up about this. ‘s not like his kitchen is already going to be filled up with tori's left behinds.

“there's uh, ceramics in there. so.”

“OF COURSE I WILL BE CAREFUL WITH THEM, SANS! THAT'S WHY I AM CARRYING THEM. I AM THE BEST AT CARRYING THINGS. I CARRY YOU ALL THE TIME!”

“you're right.”

Papyrus spins on his heel and marches out the door like he's afraid sans is going to unpack the box if he isn't fast enough. sans sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

most of the house is packed up now. undyne os clattering somewhere throwing junk in a box to be donated probably. asgore is marking things to be put in storage.

a touch nudges his hand, and sans looks down to see the kid looking at him from beneath their fringe.  the kitchen is clear enough for frisk, the kid is content that anything left can be claimed by their friends or given away now that they've gotten sans to accept the box.

sans lets his hand turn so he can catch frisk's fingers. “alright, what's next?”

frisk tightens the hold and leads him down the hall, to toriel's room. sans feels his grin take a nervous shade, but. he said he'd be there for the kid, he can't run away now.

frisk’s grip is too tight.

the door creaks open and sans is led inside. the lights are off and the kid does not turn them on, so neither does sans. they tug him over to a desk where they finally let go of his hand. he’s in it too far to leave now, so he puts his hands in his pockets while the kid carefully goes through the desk drawers.

tori’s room is quaint, tidy. like he would expect from her, if he had to guess. her bed is tucked in a corner, taking up more room than a standard but less than a king, the covers smoothed and well made but not like a perfectionist did them up. there is a chest and a dresser. everything is unassuming.

frisk closes a drawer with care so sans takes his cue and refocuses his attention on them.

they are holding out a book.

“oh, kiddo…”

oh, kiddo indeed. they hold out the book insistently. sans does not take it. they insist again. sans dodges.

“c’mon that’s, kid… it’s-- that’s uh,” he runs out of words.

they pull back the book just to flip it open, searching for a page to show him. he doesn’t want to see it. they show him anyways. it’s just a simple planner, a teacher’s agenda. days divided into squares with notes written in the corners. almost like a journal. there’s an entry circled and sans can’t help but read it.

Why did the skeleton want a friend? …. Because she was feeling BONELY!

frisk closes the book and offers it again like a question. sans shakes his head.

“i just…” it’s too much, he doesn’t say. he’s been doing good at not thinking about it. he’s been doing really good and avoiding the thoughts and memories and expecting her braying laughter after he tells a joke and finding its absence instead.

he spent so much time trying to minimize the damage. he can remember the first time he stopped and realized this was going to hurt, when it ended and known he’d been in too deep to stop it from hurting at all because toriel had made it so hard to just not care but he had been preparing himself for the inevitability that she’d get tired of him, or offended? or that he’d mess something up like he always does and she’d be out of his life, because the only good thing he ever managed to keep was Papyrus and that was inexplicably in spite of everything sans ever did.

this was so much worse than he was expecting.

all that effort and now everywhere he turns there’s a space that isn’t empty but doesn’t have potential anymore. his next words don’t have the potential to make toriel laugh, anymore. the spaces between his fingers no longer have the potential to get chalky with flour. he’ll never be able to tell tori that, yeah, this time he’d tag along as a pta chaperone for a fieldtrip, make some prime parents from hell jokes, yeah? all this time keeping himself a couple feet withdrawn, content to whilst away the maybes and somedays and now all he has to show for it is a sad kid and a journal telling him how lonely tori was.

he wasn’t much good for anything, but he’d had a chance to be a good friend. now that, like everything else, was gone.

he can’t meet the kid’s eyes. he knows he has some kinda responsibility here but. he’ll mess it up anyways, won’t he? he already is. he actually already has. he’s surprised Papyrus isn’t more messed up than he lets on.

he’s through the bedroom door almost before he’s made a decision, but he doesn’t step into the hallway of toriel’s house. instead he steps onto the clashing carpet of his and his bro’s second floor, the door behind him clicking shut. he stands there for a moment.

he guesses that it was time for the punchline to hit. it took such a long while, of course it was sure to be a knockout.

there’s nothing left to do, but slip into his room and clock out for the day.

he gets away with it for longer than he expected, honestly. and the wake up is far gentler than he expects.

“SANS?”

papyrus finally knocks on his door. it’s been… sans squints at the dark of his ceiling. well, it can’t have been too long, none of his bosses have called him, at least.

“SANS… MAY I COME IN?”

sans shifts his head to peak out at the door frame. everything’s dark so he’d be able to see if the frame was on. it’s not. he looks back at the ceiling. he hears Papyrus shifting as he waits for an invitation. sans knows he should say something but he can’t bring himself to. Papyrus finally settles against the door, sans can hear him slide down against it.

“I HAVE FINISHED PUTTING AWAY… EVERYTHING. EVEN THE MUGS. I ASKED IF YOU WANTED THEM ANYWHERE SPECIFIC BUT… YOU DIDN’T ANSWER. SO I PUT THEM IN THE CUPBOARD! THE ONE YOU CAN REACH. I HOPE THAT IS OKAY.”

that’s considerate of him.  sans should say so.

“I WILL TAKE YOUR SILENCE AS THE RINGING ENDORSEMENT I AM SURE IT IS. THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT DISCOURAGED BY YOUR CONTINUED SILENCE AT ALL.”

sans stays silent.

“OF COURSE… IF YOU WERE TO BREAK YOUR SILENCE BY. PERHAPS. SPEAKING TO ME. OR EVEN MAKING SOME SORT OF SOUND ACKNOWLEDGING THAT YOU ARE, IN FACT, ALIVE IN THERE, IT WOULD NOT BE REMISS.”

that makes sans blink. oh right. yeah. right. he pushes himself up. he should say something but. but that still feels like too much. like if he said something it might. it might start something he can’t stop. he pats around for his phone.

he digs it out of one of his pockets. it’s still got a charge--thank you alphys--and it’s set to silent. there are some missed notifications but he ignores them to pull up papyrus’ contact. he composes a message. short, sweet, to the point: im awake

he hears the buzz of Papyrus’ phone.  

“OH-- OH GOOD. GOOD.”

his voice sounds shaky, relief in every octave. good going sans, brother of the year, there.

“FINALLY YOU BREAK YOUR LAZY STREAK! CONGRATULATIONS, BROTHER, YOU ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO BREAKING YOUR SELF IMPOSED ISOLATION AND REUNITING WITH SOCIETY. I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU.”  the thing is, Papyrus doesn’t even sound sarcastic, because he is very proud of sans.

“YOU MISSED UNDYNE SUPLEXING ASGORE AFTER YOU. LEFT.” Papyrus offers in the silence sans let grow. “SHE KEPT TRYING TO SNEAK UP ON HIM AFTER THE FURNITURE WAS CLEARED.  ALPHYS HAS PICTURES. PROBABLY.”

“FRISK SPENT THE NIGHT TO HELP UNDYNE AND ALPHYS, WHICH THEY COULD DO BECAUSE THEY ARE ON A TEMPORARY BREAK FROM SCHOOL AND AS SUCH DOES NOT NEED TO GET UP EARLY AND BE CAREFULLY DELIVERED TO THE CAMPUS AS IS CUSTOMARY FOR A HUMAN THEIR AGE.”

despite everything, sans can tell Papyrus is trying to lead up to something. sans still cannot find his voice, but his brother is doing his best and what would sans be if he didn’t try, too? he rolls carefully onto the floor.

“I HAVE CONSIDERATELY RESEARCHED THE RULES AND REGULATIONS OF FRISK’S SCHOOL SYSTEM, AS A SELFLESS BOON BECAUSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT ONLY THOUGHTFUL AND GENEROUS, HE IS PREPARED! IT WAS NOT BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM. THINGS.”

sans stumbles in his fumbling steps to stand.

“I AM NOT SURE YOU ARE AWARE, BROTHER, BUT THERE ARE TWO SETS OF HOURS, REFLECTING EACH OTHER. THIS MEANS THERE IS A SEVEN IN THE MORNING AS WELL AS THE EVENING.  THOUGH THIS IS AN HOUR I SEE VERY OFTEN, AS A RESPONSIBLE MEMBER OF SOCIETY WITH A DEDICATION TO HIS JOB, IT IS ONE I KNOW YOU ARE UNACCUSTOMED TO ENTERTAINING. REGARDLESS… THIS IS THE HOUR  FRISK MUST BE UP TO START GETTING READY FOR THEIR SCHOOLING, IF THEY ARE TO MAKE IT ON TIME.”

Papyrus’ voice trills, the way it does when he starts up his monologues, settling into his speech. sans can almost see the way his hands gesticulate, gloves underlining the points in his words.

“AND OF COURSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL RELISH THE CHANCE TO TAKE OUR TINY HUMAN FRIEND TO SCHOOL ON THE WAY TO HIS IMPORTANT JOB! HOWEVER THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I MUST BE UP MUCH EARLIER THAN EVEN SEVEN IN THE MORNING, AND FRISK CANNOT BE EXPECTED TO MAKE THE LONG AND POTENTIALLY PERILOUS PATH THEMSELVES… “

here his hand would flutter, nervously, as if conjuring the next set of words he has to speak.

“AND, THOUGH APPARENTLY BREAKS ARE MANDATORY AND MUST BE TAKEN DESPITE A HEALTHY WORK ETHIC--” Papyrus audibly stops himself from going on a tangent. “--THERE IS NOT ONE LONG ENOUGH AT THE RIGHT TIME TO PICK THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL.”

“AND. THOUGH MY COOKING IS UNPARALLELED AND FILLED WITH PASSION, HUMANS NEED MORE THAN MAGIC TO KEEP THEIR GROSS HUMAN BITS RUNNING PROPERLY. AND HUMANS NEED A LOT OF SOCIAL INTERACTION, ESPECIALLY CHILDREN, IN THE FORM OF SUPERVISED ‘PLAY DATES' WHICH ARE NOT COVERED IN THE DATING MANUAL! “

“AND THERE IS A THING CALLED PTA? AND ONE MUST JOIN THE PTA IN ORDER TO FULFILL OPTIMUM GUARDIAN POTENTIAL AND THE GREAT PAPYRUS JUST DOES NOT HAVE TIME TO ATTEND EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES IF THEY DO NOT OCCUR BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 5PM AND 4AM, WHICH THE SCHOOL ASSURES ME THEY DO NOT! I CANNOT BELI--”

sans opens the door and Papyrus tumbles backward, falling onto the floor with a noise of surprise.

“what's a matter, bro? all this worrying is making you fall down.” the weight of the sentence hits sans all at once. “i mean, fall over-- uh, that's, sorry, that one was awful.”

“NYEH HEH HEH, SANS!” Papyrus laughs from the floor, giving sans a faint sense of unreality. Papyrus laughing at a terrible joke while sans looks down at him. things have been weird lately.

“stop laughing, bro, we really gotta get your funny bone checked out.”

“FORGIVE ME IF I ENJOY JAPES THAT REQUIRE A LITTLE MORE BACKBONE THAN YOU LIKE TO MAKE!”

sans shakes his head. this is one of those times he would choose to smile if he had a choice. his brother is really the best. even if his brother is working himself up for some reason.

“what’re you really upset about?” sans asks, letting his shoulder lean against the doorframe.

“I AM NOT UPSET! I JUST. WANT TO SUPPORT YOU IN THE THINGS YOU DECIDE TO DO.”

“support me?” sans crosses his arms. Papyrus gives him an incredulous look, like sans is the one acting topsy turvy today.

“I KNOW YOUR MEMORY GETS WEIRD WHEN YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE SAD NAPS. BUT YOU CANNOT FORGET YOUR COMMITMENT TO FRISK WHILE THEY CHOOSE IN WHICH DIRECTION THE REST OF THEIR LIFE WILL GO!”

“that’s exaggerating just a bit, bro.”

“YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT IS NOT!”

sans shrugs. then sighs. “i think… i already messed this up.”

“BUT NOT IRREPARABLY, BROTHER. MISS TORI-- THE HOUSE IS PACKED UP NOW, AND FRISK CANNOT STAY THERE ANY LONGER. ASGORE HAS BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO, AND YOU ARE THEIR LEGAL GUARDIAN FOR NOW! SO THEY WILL BE RETURNING HERE. YOU CAN APOLOGIZE!” papyrus squints up at sans. “OR MAYBE PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED, BUT RESOLVE TO DO BETTER IN THE FUTURE!”

“ouch,”

“I’M ONLY SAYING THE TRUTH. YOU’RE VERY AVOIDANT. BUT EITHER WAY, I AM HERE TO SUPPORT YOU. OR. I WANT TO BE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.”

“things would… have to change a lot, huh.”

Papyrus is not a monster that enjoys hiding his feelings, and so it’s very easy for sans to see the concern and doubt in his brother’s face as Papyrus leans back and stares up at him.  his brother radiates openness, an easy ear to listen to him, if either of them had ears.

“heh, have to start scheduling my naps again, huh.”

“YOU MAY HAVE TO EVEN QUIT ONE OF YOUR JOBS TO FIT THEM ALL IN!” papyrus is way too excited by that.

“yeah, heh.” he swallows. they can afford for him to drop a job or two, but doing so makes sans uneasy. sure he’d have more time off, Papyrus doesn’t need sans to provide a cushion anymore, and it’s been a long, long time since sans has needed to “figure something out” when bills started piling up in the mail.

“what if they decide to stay?” he asks, hunching inwards.

“THEN THESE CHANGES MAY BE PERMANENT FOR US! I CAN SUBMIT CHANGES TO MY AVAILABLE HOURS, SO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF. AGAIN.”

“you love your job.”

“I WOULDN’T BE QUITTING SANS! IN FACT, I HAVE A SUSPICION THAT MY BOSS WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE IT IF I STOPPED CLOCKING IN ON THE WEEKENDS.”  Papyrus shakes his head wryly.

“okay, yeah, maybe you should stop doin that.” he crosses his arms and hisses air through his teeth. “i want to argue that you shouldn’t have to step in when i can’t uh, can’t do something myself, or by myself. but you’re being frustratingly good at cutting off my points of argument.”

“THANK YOU! I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING. YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT DEFLECTING AND I NEEDED TO STRENGTHEN MY OFFENSE IN RETALIATION.”

“you shouldn’t have to do that, i should just be able to talk about this without getting, heh, rattled.”

“AND WE ARE BACK TO THE LOWEST TIER OF HUMOR. BROTHER. ALL MY LIFE, YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING ME! ALONE! AND I WOULD BE DOING YOU A DISSERVICE IF I INSISTED I NEEDED TO ‘PAY YOU BACK’ FOR ALL THE YEARS YOU SUPPORTED ME. BUT, I WOULD LIKE THE CHANCE TO HELP YOU, TOO. I WOULD LIKE THE CHANCE TO DO THINGS. WITH YOU. AND FEEL LIKE I AM HELPING.”

“AND, I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO ‘PAY IT FORWARD’. I LIKE FRISK VERY MUCH, AND IF THEY CHOSE TO STAY WITH YOU--WITH US--THEN I THINK I WOULD LIKE LEARNING HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEM AS WELL. I WOULD LIKE TO BE THERE FOR THEM, THE WAY YOU WERE THERE FOR ME.”  he doesn’t need to say “the way no one was there for you,” but sans can read it off his face easy enough.

he must make some sort of expression, because Papyrus finally sits up, kneeling so he can glare into sans’ face.

“YOU ARE THINKING ‘but Papyrus, I was terrible at raising you when I, myself, was a child and had no idea what I was doing’ BUT YOU ARE WRONG. AS PROOF: LOOK AT ME, I AM EXCELLING AT LIFE!” Papyrus gestures at the whole of himself, smiling broadly. sans laughs half-heartedly.

“you are pretty great, bro. but you deserved a better life than what i could give you. frisk deserves a better one, too. and they had tori-- uh. they had tori. there’s no way i can live up to her. i don’t know why she named me anyways, unless it was a joke.” it’s a joke sans would laugh at, too, in any other situation.

“SANS.” Papyrus actually puts his hands on sans’ shoulders and gives him a shake, the frustration welling up in him. “I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS THAT I CAN PUT IT. BUT! YOU! DID THE BEST THAT YOU COULD! AND YOU WILL DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN IF FRISK DECIDES TO STAY WITH US! I KNOW YOU ENJOY PRETENDING TO BE LAZY AND ACTING LIKE YOU DON’T EXPEND ANY EFFORT. BUT SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE YOU BELIEVE IT, AND I CANNOT STAND THAT.”

“YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT, YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH SANS! TORIEL CHOSE YOU, INSTEAD OF ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE SHE KNEW THIS! AND SHE HAD EYES! SHE COULD SEE HOW MUCH EFFORT YOU PUT INTO FRISK, EVEN AS JUST A FAMILY FRIEND! IT WAS NOT A JOKE. YOUR LIFE ISN’T A JOKE, SANS. YOU’RE MUCH BETTER AT THINGS THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, AND IF YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IT, THEN I WILL BE RIGHT HERE TO CONTINUE TELLING YOU.”

‘“aw, geeze, pap.”

“AND,” Papyrus looks to the side, shifty eyed, “IF YOU CANNOT BELIEVE ME--”

“hey, no, pap--”

“YOU SHOULD READ THIS.” Papyrus pulls out the same book that startled sans into running away in the first place. it’s plain cover unassuming in papyrus’ gloved palm.

“Papyrus…”

“YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KEEP IT, BUT YOU SHOULD READ IT. WHEN YOU CAN. SANS, I KNOW TORIEL MEANT A LOT TO YOU. THOUGH YOU TRY TO HIDE IT? FOR SOME REASON? I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY, BUT IT’S VERY HARD TO PRETEND YOU DO NOT LIKE HER WHEN YOU ACTUALLY PICK UP THE PHONE WHEN SHE CALLS, OR DITCH YOUR EVENING NAP TO SLEEP ON HER COUCH AND EAT HER FOOD OR-- OH,”

Papyrus stops in the middle of his rant. sans’ shoulders are shaking. sans doesn’t know when that started, this whole conversation makes him want to crawl back into the depression on his mattress.

“I’M SORRY.” Papyrus sets the journal down. “I FORGOT, I’M SORRY.” he carefully puts his arms around sans’ shoulders, like any pressure will make crush sans. after a second, papyrus pulls sans closer, and makes the loose cradle into a real hug. “IT’S OKAY, SANS, IT REALLY IS.”

sans’ face is pressed against the fabric of Papyrus’ shoulder. Papyrus’ arms are locked around sans like, like something sturdy and lasting. something safe. and despite that cold feeling in his chest, the ice that crawls up his spine when he stops to think about anything, the purple karma that drips from his hands when he looks at them. despite everything, in this one moment, he thinks maybe Papyrus is right. maybe it’s okay.

sans, for the first time in, stars, years, starts to cry.

it’s not that sans is trying to ignore the apology he owes, or that he’s trying to prove Papyrus right. it’s just that he needs to figure himself out, and do it in a very compressed time. so while Papyrus puts together a quick lunch, and takes the kid out (for more icecream) and comes back with increasingly exasperated but still supportive side-eyes and pointed remarks about the living room and emotional depth, sans hides in the basement.

there’s a photo album sans keeps there, with some other things that he likes to avoid direct contact with. he hasn’t actually opened the album in years, but he can’t just throw it away. even if just because it’s not only his, but papyrus’ too. what if twenty years in the future, indeed.

sans knows he has issues. he can even trace why he acts like that for a good number of those issues. he didn’t have the chance to be a picky eater as a kid, so now he’s just a garbage disposal. he got in the habit of scrimping so he could make the bills, and even though he’s got a safety net now, it’s a habit he’s unwilling to break.

some of them are harder for him to place--he like making people laugh, to the point that he knows he can be obnoxious or will have to work harder at being taken serious. maybe making jokes is easier than honest emotional labor (true). maybe making people laugh is the fastest way to take control of a situation (true)--but he can conjure up a guess or two.  

sometimes, he just. doesn’t know, and thinking about it doesn’t really help--sometimes he’ll order something online, only to get it twice even though he’s pretty sure he only got it once. he only ordered one of them, he should return the second, but he’s always so certain it’ll take care of itself. why would it take care of itself? it’s not like his purchases and bank account get reset after a week--so he doesn’t think about it.

so. grieving. it’s not something he has practice with, not for lack of opportunity. it’s why he has a photo album collecting dust in his basement. it’s why even Papyrus doesn’t say much about their past when anyone inquires about the skeleton brothers. it’s why he’s avoiding the child of a deer friend.

oh, she would’ve like that one.

but he was right, earlier. papyrus deserved a better life than the one sans managed to cobble together, no matter what papyrus has to say about it now. and frisk also deserves better than a bag of bones too bitter, too scared to figure out how to open up a little.

he was also right, in that frisk should still get to choose.

“SANS?” papyrus calls down the basement stairs.

“yeah?”

“TIME FOR DINNER?”

“are you asking me?”

“OF COURSE NOT, I AM ANNOUNCING THAT IT IS TIME FOR DINNER! FRISK IS SETTING THE TABLE, PLEASE COME UP, I DO NOT WANT OUR MEAL TO GET COLD!”

sans smiles from the dinner table, winking at frisk when they turn to set a plate down and sees him.

“bro, we’re waiting on you now.”

Papyrus whirls around at the sound of sans’ voice, eyebrows comically raised for someone who has been living with sans their whole lives. he gathers himself expertly and stomps his foot, seamlessly falling back into their familiar, comfortable roles.

“SANS YOU LAZYBONES! YOU COULD HAVE WALKED UP THE STAIRS!”

“but i didn’t wanna miss your spescapula cooking!”

“SANS! YOU KNOW MY COOKING IS WORTH MORE THAN AN EASY PUN!”

“you’re right bro, didn’t mean to punsult you.”

“THAT WAS EVEN WORSE!!”

“you’re smiling anyways.” sans settles back into his chair.

“I AM! AND! I HATE IT!”

there’s a clatter of utensils, as frisk kneels on their seat to serve themself, and sans takes the serving spoon from frisk’s hands before papyrus can, motioning them to push their plate closer. “don’t worry kid, i got you.”

frisk doesn’t hesitate to let him dump a spoonful of mash potatoes on their plate, and doesn’t object when sans’ grin turns mischievous. he adds another spoonful, and another. and another. and another.

“SANS!”

“what, you gonna deny the kid a well balanced dinner?” he asks. frisk looks delighted at the slightly leaning tower of potatoes stuck to their plate. Papyrus’ shriek of frustration makes something loosen in sans’ rib cage.

frisk is a good, even tempered kiddo. there’s no comparing them to papyrus at that age. but the guilt that settles behind his jaw when he thinks of them is the same sort that fills him up with he thinks about his brother’s babybone era.

the kid is staying in Papyrus’ room for the moment, and sans lingers in the doorway. only a little bit creepily. he grips the book in his hand. maybe this is a bad idea. sans should just let frisk get to sleep. they got a lot going on, he doesn’t need to interrupt them.

he takes a step back towards the staircase. then sidles back to the door. he’s let things go long enough already, though. it doesn’t matter how unruffled the kid acts, sans knows they feel bad about how he acted back at tori’s. and whether they already have forgiven him or not, he needs to let them know it’s not their fault. that he’s the one who is sorry and needs to make up for it.

it reminds him sharply, of being young and confused but determined, facing the door papyrus insisted on slamming in his face because SHUTTING A DOOR IS A PHYSICAL PUNCTUATION MARK SANS, AND THIS ONE IS AN EXCLAMATION!  and having no idea what went wrong or how to fix it, but knowing he couldn’t let this one lie.

the door opens.

“ah, sorry, i--ah geeze really?” frisk looks tiredly up at him. okay, so he forgot they could see his shadow under the door frame. that’s only mildly embarassing.

“did you… want a bedtime story?” he asks. they step away from the door. “yeah, course i have time, kiddo. i wouldn’t offer if there was anything i’d rather be doin.”

he follows them inside, and though he can tell they are trying to be even keeled, the speed they use to jump back into Papyrus’ bed makes it clear they’re excited about this.  he follows at a more sedate pace, thinking over his decision. he could always dig out Fluffy Bunny instead, that’s a classic. but, that wouldn’t mean the same thing. he’s gotta show his hand.

“alright,” he says, settling himself onto the bed with frisk. “let me know if you want a different book, but i thought you might like this one.” he pulls turns the cover so frisk can see.

“99 snail facts.” a sharp noise escapes frisk, but they don’t protest. sans lets himself smooth their hair over before opening the book.

“number 99, snails have tongues covered in hundreds of little teeth. okay, that’s, terrifying.” frisk laughs. “yeah i guess it works like a chainsaw? or a file. look here’s a diagram.” he flips the book to show frisk, who nods at the picture. “figure a, the radula, with rows of teeth. wow, didn’t know snails were so rad. number 98, snails are part of a group called gastropod molluscs that means, uh, soft stomach foot-- hey, i resemble that remark, heh.”

he pages through the book with frisk, and if either of them get misty eyed about it. well, at least they can wipe each other’s tears.  he pats frisk’s head one last time, before hopping off the bed and turning out the light for them to sleep.

papyrus is waiting for him downstairs, still settled on the couch. he turns to stare as sans makes his way over, scooting to the side so sans can flop onto the couch. sans’ face still has residue on it from story, and he scrubs it against the couch fibres. Papyrus doesn’t protest.

“what’s it, paps?” he mumbles into the cushion.

“FIRST, I’M PROUD OF YOU FOR OPENING UP TO FRISK!”

“thanks?”

“SECOND: IS EMOTIONALLY HEAVY READING MATERIAL THE THEME WITH YOU RECENTLY?”

“oh,” papyrus is holding the album. “didn’t think you’d find that so fast.”

“IT WAS ON THE TABLE. YOU DIDN’T EVEN HIDE IT IN A JOKE BOOK. I MEAN, IF YOU AREN’T READY AFTER ALL--”

“nah, pap, if i weren’t ready, it’d still be collecting dust downstairs.”

“... ARE YOU SURE?”

sans sits up and turns to face papyrus. his brother looks nervous, with an undercurrent of excitement and worry. this is something sans should’ve done a long time ago. instead of dwelling on the guilt he lets himself fall against his brother’s side, grabbing for the photo album. Papyrus gives it to him, and he opens the cover.

there’s an oval frame, and in that frame is a washed out photo of papyrus’ baby face, mouth open in what sans’ is sure was a ear-piercing shriek. there’s a blurry skeletal hand in the frame, like the suddenness of papyrus’ yell made someone jerk across the camera. below the portrait papyrus 19XX? is written sans’ handwriting. he tilts the page towards papyrus, who reaches out and flips it.

“WHO’S THAT?”

sans runs a finger across the old photo. something sharp twists behind his sternum, the same thing as always. the thing that makes him want to throw away all these mementos and forget they ever mattered to him because if he doesn’t, he’s afraid his soul is going to shatter. but he’s been hiding for way too long now.

maybe it’s time sans admits he deserves something better, too. he looks at papyrus’ curious face. he taps his finger against the photo.

“that was the royal scientist.”

“WHAT’S A ROYAL SCIENTIST AND WHY ARE THEY IN OUR PHOTO ALBUM?”

“oh yeah, the dreemur family used to be, like, filthy rich back in the day. so everyone would call ‘em the monster nation’s royal family. pretty sure they were actually a royal family at some point. anyway, he got that nickname ‘cause the dreemurs liked sponsoring his pet projects.”

for some reason, with papyrus’ bones digging into his side, sans felt the prickling sensation of ice start melting off his back. Papyrus passes him a ceramic mug as he settles into the story.

tomorrow the kid might decide they’re better off living with asgore. or they might decide they like living with sans and papyrus better. sans might freak out again, or he might be able to wait until he’s not gonna scar the kid for life again. either way, he’s making sure they know they’ve got options, and that he (and papyrus and asgore and all their friends) are behind them 100 percent.

but until then, he’s got this. his brother, these photos, a mug with a lame pun, and the warm feeling that he might actually be doing something right for once.

[bethesdaglitch]

1-70 do em all! 😁💙

I’m seriously so sorry this took so long, but it was so much fun!! thank you!!! Also it’s super long so I’m gonna put it under a readmore!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Jak & Daxter! 2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.Lmao I’m not exactly a creative person, but when I was little I tried coming up with and drawing my own pokemon. They were… bad3. Who did you play with as a kid?My brother! At first I stole his Gameboy Color whenever he wasn’t using it, but then he saved up and bought a PS2 so we could play games together4. Who do you play with now?No one really lol. I kinda prefer to play single-player games now? But I’ll play with various friends when we hang out.5. Ever use cheat codes?When I was little, yeah! Especially in the Sly Raccoon games 6. Ever buy strategy guides?Before the age of unlimited free online strategy guides I did, now I just use said online ones7. Any games you have multiple copies of?Yep, I’ve “lost” games only to find them again after replacing them like… four times? It happened with Oblivion, Fable 3, DA: Origins, and, weirdly enough, that one obscure (but fun imo!) wii game, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?This one was hard! After a teeny bit of research, I narrowed it down to either Rule of Rose, LoZ Collector’s Edition on Gamecube, and pokemon red and yellow9. Most regrettable purchase?Hhhhhhhh I bought the video game for the 2006 Dreamworks movie Over the Hedge. I was only 12, but I still should’ve known better :(10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?I’ve gone to a few midnight releases, but none that have lasted for hours, luckily. I only started going to them in the last few years, so the only ones I’ve been to so far are Fallout 4, DA:I and uh… ME:A (I KNOW)11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Nah not really, I don’t play online games, so. I have friends who play video games, but I’ve never met someone BECAUSE of video games12. Ever get picked on for liking games?Lol no?13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Overwatch14. Favorite game music?NIER, hands down. 15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?Probably something cute and harmless like the leaf from Animal Crossing lol16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Lately we’ve been really into Towerfall: Ascension and Screencheat17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Wh—no????18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?So long as they didn’t try to “forbid” me from playing and so long as we had other interests to bond over, then sure. It’d be kind of a bummer though lol19. Favorite handheld console?Idk that I have one! Maybe the Switch, since that’s the most recent and popular?20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Silent Hill 3 and DA:I21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?The Civilization games22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?Sometimes, yeah. Nothing too embarrassing, though. 23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?What, like… ever?? Geez, I dunno… probably Oblivion?24. First Pokemon game?Yellow!25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I actually wasn’t really :/26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Oh yeah, with my brother. He’s 6 years older than me, which pretty much guaranteed I got my ass kicked in every game we played when I was younger27. Game that makes you rage?Bloodborne and Dark Souls!!!!!! I swear I try to go back and play them at least once a year, and I can never get past the first hour :(28. Ever play in a tournament?Not like an official one, but ones with friends, yep29. What is your gaming set up?Imma be real with you chief I don’t know nearly enough about computers to answer this question with anything other than “a computer”30. How many consoles do you own?Ohohoho far too many31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?I’ve never had the 3D slider up long enough to tell, but that probably means yes lol32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?BOY when I was in first grade I played Spongebob: Supersponge on Gameboy advance so much I STILL remember the password that lets you skip to the final stage (it’s WMBT) 33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?nah 34. Do either of your parents play video games?PFFF GOD NO. Although my mom does love Animal Crossing. Not playing it, but just like it’s whole deal. 35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?No and no, tbh36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?I… don’t think so? Maybe I’ve cried over a game, but blood?? Put the controller down, y’all37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?NO NO NO OVER THE HEDGE (2006) FOR THE PS2 IS THE SINGLE WORST GAME EVER MADE FIGHT ME ON THIS38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?Oh lord… idk if anyone’s ever played any of Ambition’s dating sims (Dream Girlfriend, Dream Boyfriend, Animal Boyfriend, and Moe Can Change) but I’ve literally been playing them for about… 5-ish years now? They’re seriously the worst, I fucking love them 39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?Hmm… Maybe a new Kingdoms of Amalur game would be cool? 40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?I love VR but the last time I tried it at a friend’s place I fucking faceplanted after leaning on a counter I forgot was also virtual and the first thing my friend asked was whether the headset was ok, so that stung. As for motion controls, they’re fun but they can be a real pain41. A genre that you just can’t get into?Sports games 42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?The path to what43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?Oh yeah, who hasn’t?44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?Idk if this counts but I am a MASTER at the claw machine and that stacker game. My closet is full of useless shit I’ve won from those things45. How are you at Mario Kart?OH SO FUCKING GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?yesssss I love them47. Do you like competitive games?I mean like I said, I mostly prefer single-player games, but I do enjoy the occasional co-op game48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?about an hour49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I actually don’t! If it’s a game I’m not confident I’ll be good at, I pick whichever class is recommended for beginners, and that changes from game to game. Alternatively, I just go through phases where I prefer a specific class above others 50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Christ I have no idea. Maybe a first-person escape game? idk51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?NO?? DAMN ARE Y’ALL OK????52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Literally any M game; my parents were strictly “No M games until you’re old enough!” I just got my brother to buy them most of the time though lol53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?Most DLC is fine, it’s microtransactions in “pay-to-win” games that I fucking hate. 54. Do you give in to Steam sales?HAHAHAHAHA yeah absolutely 55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?N-No??? 56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?Ok yeah I did do that 57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?Ew no58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?Ooooh… ok, Oblivion, My Time in Portia, and Divinity 259. Do you play any cell phone games?I do! I play a lot of escape games, and uh… the Ambition games mentioned previously60. Do you know the Konami Code?Is that the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A? Huh, I never knew it had a name!61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?I used to trade them in occasionally, but mostly I keep them 62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Yeah the Switch for BotW. Not proud of it, but it was worth it63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?Yep! 65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?OHHHH MY GOD YEAH, I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED ABOUT IT. I had GameShark for Gameboy and PS2, but that one was fine, it didn’t cause any problems. It was ACTION FUCKING REPLAY that fucked me over. I used it for KH2 and it worked the whole time until literally THE VERY LAST XEMNAS FIGHT, when my HP bar suddenly dropped to 1??? Not my HP, mind you, the HP BAR. Meaning 1 HP was the most I could have. Literally fuck action replay >:( 66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?nope67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?I do! The very first thing I ever saved up money for to buy myself was Pokemon Crystal version. Until then I’d just been borrowing (re:stealing) my brother’s, but when I was 5 and Crystal was about to come out, my parents made me a deal that if I saved up $15, they’d pay the other $15 and I could get it! It was the first time I was working towards a fun goal, so it was all pretty exciting for 5-year-old me lol. It’s dumb, I know, but it’s something I look back on fondly68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?Lol nah, I think the best thing I ever got with tickets was a cheap snowglobe 69. In your opinion, best game ever made? UHHHH GOD. That’s… super tough. I’m genuinely not sure I have an answer tbh. I’m really into Divinity 2 right now but best game ever made?? Idk! that’s a hard one!!!! 70. Very first game you ever beat? I won’t lie, it was Spongebob: Supersponge on GBA

[daturanerium]

2/3/2019, game one: never getting on a fucking boat again

some cast of characters to pique your interest before I insert the readmore!

Imzel, a female half elf druid (played by @alyssumasylum)

Arofyr (Ace), a male half elf ranger

Melvions (Mel), a nonbinary halfling monk

Kell, a male human fighter, future brute (played by @shaggy-kills-god)

Eva, a female human fighter, future gunslinger (played by me)

take a few minutes and read through our first game if you want. this is primarily so i can remember stuff, but i’m sharing it here just in case my followers are interested in eva and co’s crazy adventures. if you read the summary, send me an ask and let me know! 

we open on mel, Val’s character. they’re a gender neutral monk living in the monastery up on the hill. mel is regarded as pretty much a god among the other monks, and they all see them as the Chosen One. mel is an absolutely fucking jacked halfling that doesn’t y’all and has more of a punch-first mentality. a week before our story begins, one of the other monks, john, informs mel that the heads have been discussing things and they might be conspiring to kick them out. mel eloquently uses their ✨magic asl✨ to tell john they don’t give a fuck, and then goes to meet with the heads. they inform mel that things seem.....off......in the world, and since mel is the All Powerful Absolutely Brilliant Incredible Show-Stopping Jacked Chosen One they’re sending them out to figure out what the fuck’s going on. the monastery has a horse and a guide waiting for mel, but, true to their brand of Not Giving A Fuck, mel sets off immediately on their own, leaving the guide to somehow catch up.

next up is kell and eva, will and i. they’ve stayed the night in a simple home with a farming family after helping them out with an unspecified problem the night before. the family makes the pair a simple but lovely breakfast, which both eva and kell gratefully accept. during breakfast, one of the members of the family explains that their son went missing after visiting a traveling circus earlier that week. he knows that the pair have already done a lot, but could they held him find his boy please? kell chows down on biscuits while eva asks the questions, as is the usual. kell wears a mask around his mouth and is mute, and eva has known him for long enough that she knows what he means (aka usually will just whispers in my ear if I can’t figure it out). the man gives a description of the boy and tells them that he came back after visiting the circus but was gone the next day. eva and kell advise that the family continue searching here while they follow up on the circus, which is traveling to Westrun (or close to that, forgive me dm) next. eva and kell will have to head to the docks to catch them. they finish breakfast and head out, receiving some payment from the family member.

next is ken’s character, imzel. she’s a half elf druid currently sleeping in a nearby forest. she wakes up to a sunny, peaceful morning. to anyone else it would seem like a great day, but for someone like imzel that’s in tune with nature and her balance, something seems......off. she can’t quite put her finger on it, and tbh she really doesn’t get a chance to think about it much since she almost gets hit by a cart halfway through her morning meditation. the cart is driven by a man who looks VERY tired. he apologizes for almost hitting her and asks if she’s seen an absolutely ripped halfling running about because it’s VERY IMPORTANT he find them. imzel hasn’t seen this halfling, but she offers to help. he helps her into the cart and they continue on towards the city.

finally, we have ace, andrew’s half-elf ranger. he wakes in the same forest farther down towards the city. his dog, who is currently unnamed (👀), is with him. ace awakes to a strange sight: the trees behind him seem to have.....holes in them? they’re absolutely wrecked, and as a tracker and hunter it’s something he’s never seen before. he carefully follows the trail of wrecked trees, keeping his hand on his sword and his dog behind him. what he finds is a.......short humanoid /thing/ that has way to many muscles to be healthy. it’s mel, val’s character, who has been punching trees along their way down to the city (much to the surprise and amusement of val, who gave the dm free reign over most of their backstory). mel flexes their muscles in the direction of ace and their robes “fucking disintegrate”. ace, concerned for obvious reasons, asks who they are and what they’re doing. mel spends the next two minutes using their ✨magic asl✨ to paint ace a vivid picture of them punching the shit out of his dog. he’s obviously Not Having That. and then, a very tired and upset voice rings out: it’s Mel’s guide, who informs mel that he has been searching for them for AN ENTIRE WEEK. imzel hops out of the cart, sensing the tension. the guide all but orders mel to get in the cart, which mel eventually and very reluctantly does. the guide apologizes to both ace and imzel and gives them both ten silver for their trouble. then they leave for the city. ace and imzel decide individually to follow them down, realizing that mel should probably be kept in check and their tired guide is going to need some help.

eva and kell have been making their way to the docks to get to westrun. they watch as a monastery cart rides by at a moderately fast pace, followed by a half-elven man and a pretty......earthy......woman. that looks interesting. they continue down to the docks, realizing that this strange group is heading in the same direction.

after disembarking, mel takes out their flute and begins to play. val rolls a four, so it ends up being more of a godawful screeching. kell, not having ANY of that shit, lifts mel’s comparatively tiny body and takes the flute. eva gently says to put the halfling down. he does. the guide walks up and apologizes. he looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks, poor thing. he starts to explain that apparently it’s his “destiny” to help mel and that he doesn’t get paid when a new interest enters the scene. an Incredibly Fucking Rich yacht pulls into the docks, and an Incredibly Fucking Rich nobleman steps off. he starts loudly complaining that this can’t be right and there’s no way he was supposed to meet in this dump of a city. kell starts to play the flute and rolls a nat20. the Incredibly Rich Man looks up and is actually.....kind of charmed. he approaches kell and eva and says that kell’s playing is quite skillful for a Gross Peasant. kell doesn’t respond, obviously. eva says thank you for him.

eva: he says thank you.

IRM: [white-guy-blinking.gif]

the Rich Guy quickly realizes that nobody knows who he is. he walks into the center of the docks area, rhetorically asking if anyone is aware of his status. nobody is. eva does recognize the crest on his jacket, but she can’t quite place the name. the Rich Guy finally announces that he was supposed to meet with the mayor. he reads mel’s poor guide as the most approachable for a man of his status and demands the guide send him to meet with the mayor. the guide has no idea where the mayor lives and tells Rich Guy as such. Rich Guy is.....not pleased. he takes his best guess and walks off toward where he assumes the mayor would live. as he walks past, everyone around him gets physically pushed away by an invisible something. eva and kell know where the mayor is but decide not to say anything. they continue to the docks.

at the docks there are two boats heading to westrun, which is where everyone is heading. one is a small dingy boat run by a middle aged guy who is surprised and excited to have any customers at all. the other seems a bit more middle class: it’s bigger and looks cleaner, and the man stepping out looks at first glance to be dressed well. upon closer inspection, his enthusiasm seems a bit....scammer-like. ace, imzel, and mel get on the nicer boat. eva and kell get on the smaller one.

[note: i wasn’t on the nicer boat. this next part is Val’s narration with some edits]

The creepy nicely dressed man was really enthusiastic about his love for the boat he named after his dead daughter (plot point). After showing us some nice rooms he shows us a table full of nice food. Ace, Izmel, and Mel all chose a plate that morphed into different food. Idk what food we got except I remember that Mel got mac and cheese. While we were were eating our food the old man shows us with Ace's plate of food that when he throws a dirty plate in this hole in the floor it comes out completely clean. So obviously we get weirded out and roll to cast perception but get nothing expect for andrew, who starts to converse with the old man about the type of magic, revealing the boat is pretty much entirely magical. After that the old man leads us down a long corridor with a door with a cylinder hole in it. The old man with a deathly serious tone tells us to touch nothing and with the help of 2 of his crew members opens the door to the "engine room". Which turns out to be this unworldly room with this orb in the middle. The orb morphs into these little childish playful orbs that sound almost like they're trying to talk to us, but as soon as they appear their morph back into their original ball orb thingy. And at this point Mel immedently starts walking out of the room, back onto the dock, and jumps onto the other boat, arms folded, unwilling to describe what happened on the nicer boat.

[end Val’s narration. thx for adding in!]

the smaller boat is run by a man who seems a bit nervous and apologetic, but excited to be having customers. he explains that his family used to run a cookie business and he was supposed to inherit it, but that he wanted to be a boat captain instead. he gives them each a business card. the cards are completely blank white except for a little logo at the bottom saying [something about cookies lol I don’t remember exactly what it was]. the captain stresses that they shouldn’t let the cards get wet but won’t explain why. eva puts them in her bag. they make small talk before setting out. the man seems a bit nervous and a little shifty, but that was something they were both expecting. mel hops on at the last second. (at this point val had to leave). after the boat is mostly out of sight of the coast, the passengers start to hear weird whale-like noises coming from deep in the boat. the captain says it’s fine! 🙂 and then asks if he told them the name of the boat. he hasn’t. he says the boat will tell them eventually 🙂. the boat Knows You 🙂 .the boat knows What You’ve Done 🙂. the boat helped him, the captain, get away from his murderous tendencies by making him confront his demons 🙂. the boat’s noises start getting louder. kell and eva are not at all okay with this. the captain says that they have to be because the boat doesn’t listen to him and is temperamental 🙂. kell and eva are Okay With This 🙂. the captain says that the boat is more active at night and will definitely speak to them in their dreams about what they’ve done, which is not good news for either of them. the captain eventually goes to bed. the walls morph around him to let him in 🙂.

eva and kell are alone but Not Really 🙂

kell eventually goes to sleep. he dreams of his past. it’s not fun.

eva doesn’t sleep. she stays up all night. as she watches, the boat starts to grow and stretch very slowly, creating appendages of sorts. and then kell, asleep on the boat, falls through an open hole on the deck and disappears. the hole closes on top of him. eva, despite her best efforts, starts to panic. she carefully walks over to where he was and knocks on the wood. there’s no response. and then the deck starts to take her, too. eva, knowing she deserves this, lets it take her.

eva has a vision involving her biggest mistake (👀) and she’s not having a fun time whoop yikes

the boat shows her what it believes she needed to see and then drops her back on the deck a few hours later. she is silent for the first five minutes, cries for the next ten, and then waits for the others to wake up/return. the boat is still making noises, but they seem almost like they’re trying to calm her down now.

everyone eventually wakes up on the boat, the newcomers visibly shaken. eva tells kell she’s okay (but yeah she’s def lying). the guide had some Seriously Fucked Up Dreams and he doesn’t want to be here anymore. the captain, after a bit of thinking, tells kell and eva to get their business carts wet. since both are pretty on edge after last night’s visions, they’re a bit hesitant. Eva finally takes her card and dips it over the side of the boat, and then Kell does the same. The cards turn jet black. now there’s symbols all over the card; kell recognizes it as thievescant. the card basically translates to “pass”. the captain says that he used to be involved in some shady business, and these cards might help “people like you”. he tells them to flip the cards over. there’s a set of numbers on the back forming a shape of some sort. the captain explains that this is his “number” and if they need anything they can use that to contact him. kell and eva are.....very confused. the captain, realizing this, explains that since they’re entering a new country there’s going to be lots of new, unfamiliar technology. he informs them half-jokingly to not buy anything people tell them to buy. eva puts both cards back in her bag. they’re a few hours away from the Westrun docks.

meanwhile, back on the other boat.....

[narration taken up by ken, thx hun!]

After Mel left, both Ace and Imzel were shown down a suspiciously long hallway by Reginald(?), the scammy old captain, and into an open deck area for fresh air (HE CLOSED AND LOCKED THE DOOR BEHIND HIM, V IMPORTANT). Once we had gotten enough fresh air, he reopened the door to lead us to our rooms and it was a completely new hallway. There were 7 rooms. I picked #7, but was turned down. Ace picked #4 and was given a key (different to Reginald's cylinder key thing) for #4 and was specifically told to lock the door behind him and to not use the key on any other door. He saw a nice lavender room, but with illegible scribbles on the wall. Imzel also chose #4 and unlocked it and went in, saw the same room, but no Ace. We then proceeded to dick around trying to see what would happen if you'd mess up the bed then left and returned (it stayed the same) and Ace decided to see what would happen if he went in but didn't lock it. The walls started oozing goop and there was noise slowly growing in volume. He left immediately, not investigating any further. Imzel decided to try her key in door #7 and it worked, but she saw her same room. As soon as she stepped in, not even closing the door behind her, loud train noises began to shake the room and she grew very ill feeling, so much so that she couldn't make a high enough dex throw to make it out of the room 🙃 Ace freaked out and wanted to open every door... but was persuaded otherwise... while Imzel tried to yell for help. Reginald found her first, got vvvvvvv mad and threw her out of the room then proceeded to scold both of them, then he ran (surprisingly fast for a "65 year old") to go fix whatever problem we had caused on his precious ship that had taken him 30 years to build...

[end ken’s narration]

and that’s where we left off! this campaign is really fun so far. If you’re a follower of mine thx for reading! Let me know what you think and feel free to ask me questions about Eva or any other characters :)

[persephonewrites]

BAD BICH BOOK CLUB — TALK QUESTIONS

✗ WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE YA NOVEL AND WHY?

I read and immediately fell in love with Percy Jackson & the Olympians after Rick Riordan came to visit my elementary school, and I haven’t turned back since. I blame Percy’s distinct voice for making me grow up into such a sarcastic smart aleck.

✗ DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? / IS THERE ANY KIND OF BOOK YOU WILL NOT READ?

I don’t have any triggers! I’ll usually read almost anything, with a few exceptions. I don’t have the time to start an on-going fantasy series that has like ten books and each book is around 600 pages long. And I avoid any novel that romanticizes cancer or terminal illnesses.

✗ WHAT IS A YA NOVEL YOU HAVE CRIED AT?

The only novel I can remember legitimately tearing up at while reading it is So B. It by Sarah Weeks. Though to be fair, I read it when I was 11 and I haven’t picked it up since then. It’s definitely one of those books written to make people cry.

✗ NAME A YA CHARACTER YOU RELATE TO THE MOST, AND EXPLAIN WHY!

Hagrid. Dude can’t get a date, yet he’s happy to just be living in a little hut near the woods taking care of creatures.

✗ WHY DO YOU WANT TO JOIN BBBC?

I LOVE talking about books almost as much as I love reading them, and YA is my greatest guilty pleasure. 

✗ AT WHAT PACE DO YOU READ? / DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW LONG A BOOK SHOULD BE CIRCUITED IN THE GROUP FOR?

I think it honestly depends on the book! If I’m really engrossed in the story, I can finish it in a weekend. But I’m also a busy college student and I don’t have much time to read for fun during the semester. I’m sure a lot of people are the same way, so I think that starting a new book every two weeks (so two books a month) seems reasonable to me? First week is spent reading the book, second week is spent discussing it.

✗ NAME SOME BOOKS YOU’D LOVE TO SEE US ALL READ TOGETHER!

(putting this under readmore because this list is embarrassingly long)

BOOKS I’VE READ, HIGHLY RECOMMEND, & WOULDN’T MIND REREADING:

Amy & Roger’s Epic Detour by Morgan Matson (Contemporary/Romance/Road Trip)

It’s very fluffy, heartwarming, and cute. The main couple is white and straight, and so are most of the side-characters unfortunately. It’s a great roadtrip story, and the romance develops so nicely. The author also put in all these great little details in this book, like tourist postcards and personalized playlists. So it almost makes it seem as though you’re actually on this roadtrip with the characters.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Realistic Fiction/Coming of Age/LGBT) and The Inexplicable Logic of My Life (Contemporary/LGBT) by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I haven’t actually read Inexplicable Logic yet, but it’s been recommended to me and is at the top of my TBR. Aristotle and Dante is a tumblr. darling, and deservedly so. It’s the kind of book I wish I read in high school, and I feel like it should be required reading. If you’re a fan of Lin-Manuel Miranda, you should listen to the audiobook because he narrates it. This book is a great standalone, but I heard the author has decided to write a sequel and I’m stoked.

Dare Me by Megan Abbott (Mystery Thriller/Contemporary)

So this book is classified as YA on Goodreads, but I always see it shelved under Adult Fiction in bookstores and libraries, so who knows. But I’m still including this here because it’s SO GREAT. I am in love with Abbott’s writing style and the way she describes the complexities of female relationships here. I’ve seen this compared to Gone Girl, so I think if you’re into that you’d enjoy this too.

Saving Francesca (Contemporary/Mental Health) and On the Jellicoe Road (Romance/Mystery/Contemporary) by Melina Marchetta

Saving Francesca is another book I really wish I read when I was a teenager. I don’t think I have anything negative to say about this book, because it delivers exactly what it promises and then some. The story itself is simple but the characters are all surprisingly so multi-faceted and Francesca’s voice is so much fun.

I haven’t read Jellicoe Road but it’s another one of Marchetta’s books that gets a lot of hype. This one is more of a mystery, and skimming through the reviews people say it’s a real tear-jerker as well.

PROMISING BOOKS I HAVEN’T READ YET & PLAN TO START THIS YEAR: *This is the first book in a series.

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (Contemporary/Realistic Fiction)

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie (Contemporary/Humor)

*The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi (Fantasy/Romance)

Tsarina by by J. Nelle Patrick (Historical Fiction/Fantasy/Romance)

One of Us Is Lying by Karen M. McManus (Mystery/Contemporary/Thriller)

In Memory of Light by by Francisco X. Stork (Contemporary/Mental Illness/Realistic Fiction)

When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore (Fantasy/Magical Realism/LGBT)

*Flame in the Mist by Renee Ahdieh (Fantasy/Romance/Retellings)

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia (Contemporary/Romance)

Under a Painted Sky by Stacey Lee (Historical Fiction/Western/Romance)

All American Boys by Jason Reynolds & Brendan Kiely (Realistic Fiction/Contemporary)

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour (Contemporary/LGBT)

Geekerella by Ashley Poston (Contemporary/Romance/Retelling)

The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton (Fantasy/Magical Realism/Romance)

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (Contemporary/Romance/LGBT)

*The Diviners by Libba Bray (Fantasy/Paranormal/Historical Fiction/Mystery)

✗ WOULD YOU BE MORE LIKELY TO POST IN GOODREADS, TUMBLR, BOTH, NEITHER? (AND IF YOU WOULD POST, WOULD YOU DO A REVIEW? AN EDIT? TALK TO MEMBERS? THERES NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER!)

I honestly only use Goodreads to keep track of my TBR list. I don’t write reviews or anything there, so I’m most likely to post on tumblr. I can see myself just talking to other people about books, but I probably won’t post any formal reviews unless a book really pisses me off.

[egobangin-tonight]

This isn't to start any discourse and I'm pretty sure this is actually pretty old?? But I thought if anyone I would go to you for info. I've never watched JonTrons stuff and wasn't around when he was on game grumps, but apparently shit went down? I don't necessarily care for him Bc I don't know him but what happened that made so many people stop liking him?? I have honestly no clue

This is a long post oops, ill try to see if i can edit it to include a readmore in the html after i post itBut anywayWelcome to Rems ⭐️✨Discourse Corner⭐️✨(Note: Yall can just google shit? Google is your friend! Dont be afraid of it! This massive, innovative piece of technology is right at your fingertips !! Lmao)Let me preface this by saying thay i *really* liked Jon and his videos; i started watching in late...2015?? Whenever that zoo race episode came out lol. Me and my friends would watch his videos and marathon them together despite all of us living in completely different parts of the country. So i LIKED his content! I really did! And as someone who is somewhat critical of White Men in Comedy (bc alot of them tend to fall back on racist/sexist jokes) I was pretty okay with him. I never watched the Jon era of GG (only some select episodes) but I heard that they (Jon AND Arin) used to be kind of bad. But since the newer episodes of GG (with Dan) were in better tastes, and I had no complaints with Jons videos at the time, i assumed it was just a thing of the past and that they had matured a bit. Anyway, fast forward to the end of 2016 (beginning of 2017? Cant remember) and Jon unleashes Twitter Hell™. Mind u, the Entire time i watched Jon, i never peeped on Reddit (i just dont visit that site) and i NEVER went on twitter(bc i didnt have an account there). So if he ever posted some crazy controversial shit, i was unaware bc i never saw it appear on my dash on tumblr. TL;DR he made some shitty xenophobic remarks regarding refugees in fleeing a wartorn city (Syria i think). And people were like hold the fuck up are u serious?? Some people at Nor//malBoo//ts (PBG in particular) called him out on how backwards and insensitive that mindset was. And i cant remember where his parents are from but his parents are definitely immigrants. So ye, hypocritical. Hes also gone on the record of blasting people who attended the Womens March earlier this year. God i cant remember this shit word for word but it was just him rambling about equal rights but refusing to call himself a feminist bc apparently no one understands the Actual Meaning of feminist. That somehow being a feminist was inherently sexist bc you are prioritizing an entire gender over another???OKAY WAIT HERE I GOOGLED T (like u know....u couldve done lmao)https://www.google.com/amp/www.wetheunicorns.com/news/jon-tron-womens-march-twitter-sexist-jontron/amp/(I dont know how to html this shit on mobile)EVERYTHING IS THERE GO READ IT (and the article itself is also good; whatever they said was exactly what i wouldve said)Basically...he showed his True Colors that day and whoever remains are either people who follow his ideals or people who are just now being introduced to him and have no prior knowledge on him as a person. Hes been MIA for seven (7!) months and alot of us were sure hed scurried away. But no, hes still here, he just made a new video but ill be damned if i watch it and give him views lol