#gotta make the tears run for homestuck again

[pochapal]

You don't gotta answer this publicly, but what on earth happened/is happening RE: Dogpiling?

this is long but there’s a lot to cover and i don’t know how much information is pre-known going into this.

basically breadtuber sarah z made a 2 hour fandom postmortem video on homestuck. instead of being a genuine look into what made the comic and the fandom so massive and so relevant for so long, she kind of glosses over all that in the first thirty minutes, then spends the rest of the video discussing homestuck’s two major controversies in the least tactful way imaginable. 

the first one she talks about is the hiveswap development hell fiasco, which on paper is an interesting thing to bring up in relation to a lack of content contributing to fandom decline, but sarah’s primary source for all this is a pseudo-anonymous blog run by giovan_h, someone who is notorious for treating dangerous and baseless accusation as fact and for obsessively stalking current and former whatpumpkin staff members to obtain information for said blog. she supposedly tries to bring a balanced argument on what exactly happened in the three year dark period between hiveswap’s supposed release date and when act 1 actually came out by pitting ipgd’s tumblr post (the one that made the odd gentlemen embezzlement claims vis a vis king’s quest) against giovan’s blog (claiming through anonymous and unverified sources that hussie deliberately dicked around and failed to meet a single deadline, then broke contract terms by using the kickstarter money to commission the odd gentlemen to animate act 7 instead of working on hiveswap. there are a lot of other unsavoury claims about hussie and certain other wp members among these blog posts, but that’s the primary relevant gist). 

neither account can actually be verified (ipgd’s post claims their information is spotty because they’re talking around a pretty strict settlement nda and giovan’s sources and accounts are deliberately vague and unverifiable to “protect various parties from retaliation from hussie/wp”) but sarah ultimately comes down and says that she’s inclined to take giovan’s blog as more truthful for. reasons. this is obviously bad because within minutes of the video dropping several wp team members reveal sarah never once tried to get in contact with them, which has led to attacks on the team members because a lot of zealous people looking for an excuse to keep being mad at homestuck in the wake of hs^2′s semi-permanent hiatus were emboldened by a video essayist treating the ugliest speculation as hard fact. as of right now, the hiveswap kickstarter has released a statement clarifying the development situation as best they can (from what i’ve read it does point to them legally being unable to point to/discuss certain things) which has had all the impact of dropping a match onto an oil spill. the anti homestuck zealots firmly believe every word of that post to be bullshit and are accusing the wp team of covering for hussie and his super heinous evil crimes (keep in mind we are still not privy to the internal workings of wp because why the fuck would we be) so the wp team in turn are putting these people on blast for this dangerous harassment (it doesn’t need to be said that as a professional being publicly accused of covering up fraud is a very bad thing) and then as a counter counter response the angry fans are now accusing the wp staff of abusing their power to direct mass harassment towards specific individuals (this amounting to people getting into wp members’ private discord servers and publicly posting mean things they have said about giovan et al which imo only serves to bolster the stalking claims) and the whole thing went very ugly very fast.

the second controversy that sarah brings up is everything involved in post canon homestuck (epilogues, pesterquest, hs^2). here she reverts to more of a passively pro-fandom stance, asserting time and time again how horrible and evil the epilogues and everything else were because of how they took the characters and stories everyone knows and loves and warped them into something unrecognisably terrible, that post-canon homestuck was universally reviled. in a very bad and awkward placement of information she then segues into a kind of hand-wavey discussion of the intense backlash towards certain post-canon trans interpretations (of vriska, june, and roxy) in a very I Am A Cis Woman So I’m Not Qualified To Make Any Statements Here Other Than Transphobes Fuck Off <3 But Also This Is Indicative Of A Growing Fandom Resentment way, which honestly begs the question of why she needed to include this at all. another bad thing here is how she super glosses over the “controversies” surrounding “the advocates for june egbert” and “the writer for vriska’s pesterquest route” - she is obviously referring to former creative director kate here (she kind of confirms this on twitter by saying she didn’t want to mention kate by name in order to not stir up further drama which uh... yeah) and the inexcusably terrible chain of events which led to every single out trans woman working on homestuck to resign to protect themselves from further mass harassment and dogpiling from the fandom.

she instead, for some reason decides to focus on how post-canon homestuck has been a total commercial and creative failure, that homestuck^2 basically shouldn’t have even happened after the fandom’s distaste for the epilogues and that it was not only controversial but also was a low quality mess everyone agreed sucked. she then goes on to compare the hs^2 team to the wp hiveswap dev team, and passively applies the same giovan-esque assertions to the internal workings of hs^2, kind of but not really implying the reasons given for the shutting down of hs^2 were bullshit. this is super bad for the fact that the post canon homestuck team is the most openly marginalised group of people working for hs is in an official capacity, and we have seen time and time again what drawing undue, speculative negative attention towards these people has done. again, reminder sarah did not reach out to a single person who worked/is working on homestuck for what is essentially a drama video disguised as a fandom postmortem. the upshot here is that her post-canon section served to embolden yet another wp-hostile section of the fanbase - those who adamantly believe that only the fandom itself can create worthwhile homestuck projects, and that all writers are evil people who want their queer fans dead (only a partial exaggeration) and produce spite projects which are driven by the steadfast belief that their work is inherently superior to official content by virtue of their fan status. among this group were a lot of people who latched onto any accusation against a team member as fuel to push them out of “ruining” such a beloved franchise so sarah’s video serves as proof that all the hs^2 writers were morally corrupt monsters ruining a fandom space that was meant for minors and queer people (this is all very anti/anti-anti carousel of bullshit nonsense that i have no time for) and thus they’re confident to once again tear down the remaining public facing staff members, ignoring how all this crusade has done so far is drive a handful of trans women and people of colour off of official homestuck projects for their own safety.

then she ends the video with a “oh btw this video is proudly sponsored by audible <3″ bit and it’s just. beyond unbelievably awfully stupid that she deliberately reignited this aggression which has caused untold material harm on marginalised people (that happened less than a year ago!!!) just for the sake of quick clicks and ad revenue. she consolidated the most dogshit takes as fact within the general fandom consensus, sided with some of the worst people to engage with homestuck, potentially detonated the last shreds of stability of this independent marginalised media project, and wrapped it all up with a sponsorship from an amazon subsidiary company of all fucking things. this is obviously a case of an incredibly short sighted decision to cash in on a very complicated and unwieldy fandom history but still the potential consequences here are unfathomable.

[mxfandom]

Got Bored and Decided to Transcript My Roomate Reviewing Homestuck Characters

Tw// Strong Language

My Roommate

Me

John:

Ugly

*giggle*

Rose:

Stuck Up

*still laughing* No like what you THINK about them

....Stuck Up

okay

Dave:

He looks like he shat himself and trying to play it off. He bullies other kids for clout

Jade:

And, look like she really needs dick in her life. Nerd Ass

Karkat:

Are these just the transp- uh, are these different people?

*burst into laughter*

*laughing as well* what?, what

These are different type of like species

Alright. For him...ugly

Just ugly?

Terezi:

He (yes she assumed terezi was a guy) looks like he tried to be a rockstar but can’t pull it off because his teeth is just giving him too much Emo vibes. So he just “I have to be a hardcore Emo bruh, uhh, but I don’t have hands so I can’t go uhhh” you know what I mean?

You noticed their signs?

Yeah I noticed their signs, Libra

Libra, ass

Gamzee:

He’s trying too hard. Look at you, you trying to be kiss? You ain’t gonna make it honey, with your long horn ass- you’re horny aren’t you?

*squeeking in laughter at this point*

Kanaya:

Clout

Clout?

Seeker

Vriska:

Oh, I like this one. You look like you got into a little Tussle Tussle. I DON’T appreciate how your horns are asymmetric but it’s okay you can be cool or whatever, Ms. Scorp- oh I don’t like Scorpios fuck you never mind. Where the Leo?

Aradia:

I do like her horns tho. What’s that Aries?

Yeah

Aries are bitches too. My mom’s an Aries but it’s chill. I do like your tattered skirt, looks like you’re ready?

*wheezing* ready for what?

*In the tone of a drag queen* You know what she’s ready for. Got some demon dick in you guurrrrl.

Got the little sizzle with the snake tongue

Nepeta:

Here’s the Leo

Why you gotta be a furry tho?

What’s with the tail? I’m not mad at it, you’re kinda cute. You look like you need some sleep tho with them bags under your eyes but you cute tho, you cute.

Equius:

*immediatly after the last cute* the fuck are you?

Oh, you know, okay so it’s missing teeth right? It look like a panda snout, to me. It looked like a panda snout for a second. Also who you fighting? Who you fightin with your missing teeth. You mad son because you [???] your horn breaking off. But you know what you got the new crocs so that’s good.

The new crocs. He’s very into body building and stuff AND horses. But...

*one of us swallows a laugh*

No tea, no shade

*wheezing in tears* my gosh

Tavros:

I feel sorry for you

You know who put him in a wheelchair?

Who?

Scorpio

I BET A BITCH DID.

*scrolls back up* her

I told you she got into a tussle

*my nose starting running from laughing and now I’m snorting* she threw him off a cLIFf

That’s how scorpios be tho. That’s how scorpios be.

I finnaly breathe and stopped laughing continusesly.

Eridan:

Is that a-? Okay, that’s his hair. Mmmm horny mmmm. I mean you, Aquarius, fishy flashy. I see your little fin gill gills. I see em. You ain’t cute and that colour/collar(?) combination is a little dull and basic so.

Feferi:

You Coachella

Coachella~

Looking ass. You got glasses on? Are those glasses? You need to chill

No, those are swim goggles.

Coachella. In the fucking ocean looking ass. NEXT

Soullux:

Gemini is my moon. I fuck with the glasses, everything in 4-D. 3-D. 4-D technically. But the shoes tho. I mean you really supporting that yin yang double sided face.

He’s like half and half color blind. That’s why the glasses are like that.

Is that why you can’t- Well you can put on the same type of shoes nigga you don’t have to be [stammers]- Is that a SOCK? It look like a sock, for real for real because it ain’t got no base like the other shoe do. So, I mean that’s chill but even if you’re color blind you can put another shoe on. You ain’t got no excuse so.

Jake:

Ugly

Roxy:

Preppy. She looks like she suck dick under a fucking staircase.

She’s an alcoholic

Mm........WOW! So UNEXPECTED

Dirk:

First of all, hat shirt stupid.

Second of all, why you look like you go into your parents basement and play the drums real loud at like 2 am in the morning, just to “be...” you know what I mean. I don’t know what the word for it but

That’s basically his character

Told you

He’s also really into puppets with like dick nose

Dic-wha? You Gay?

Yeah, he is.

I can tell. That fucking hat shirt really sets it off

Jane:

I ain’t got nothing to say. The reason i got nothing to say to this bitch is because that’s the point of her character. In my eyes it looks like you DONT say nothing to that bitch.

That’s Betty Crocker...like the person who made the uh [forgets all Betty Crocker accomplishments] utensils. Cooking utensils? That’s Betty Crocker. Basically. She BASICALLY turns into Betty Crocker.

So as I said. Nobody paid attention to you so you HAD to do Something to get their attention. Obviously making some utensils was the thing for you.

*dying in laughter again* oh my god

Spoon and fork bitch. I get it, everybody has to eat you know.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-31

Mainline upd8 before the June break.  More Terezi!  That should put me in a better mood. (1 edit (2020-06-01) since posting)

> CHAPTER 10. 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3

Wait, fuzzily waking up seeing the new planet?

Wait, why is the site background still black?

Wait, is this one of the new alien race members just created?

That would explain the chapter title.  (Especially if they were part plant, but Terezi would say that regardless, when you think about it.)

> ==>

Coming more into focus.

> ==>

Oh!  Back to the normal background.

TEREZI: W3LL

She’s not the one seeing this, so is this an alien perspective or does Rose’s visual processing take a while to turn back on post-warranty-breach?

> ==>

Huh?  It WAS her point of view?

So this:

--is just an attempt at rendering her smell-o-vision?

I know her sense of smell is supposed to be amazing, but this is MARKEDLY less paint-like than previous depictions of her smell-o-vision.  See for comparison:

Was this an intentional difference in clarity? Laziness? Her scent-vision being sharper?  They’re practically making us feel like her eyes are healed again, which would be disastrous, and not something even Ultimate Rose should necessarily be capable of.

(I’m inclined to give them less credit than usual today, though, so a poor visual choice most likely.)

TEREZI: TH4T W4S PR3TTY FUCK1NG STUP1D

Hate-screwing Rosebot?  Why?

I guess it’d leave you sore.

> ==>

TEREZI: F4LL1NG 4SL33P H3R3 1S JUST 4SK1NG FOR TROUBL3

Oh.  Are the new races - or their precursor “experiments” running around?

> ==>

TEREZI: NODD1NG OFF L1K3 TH4T UND3RN34TH 4N 4RBOR34L 4MBUL4TOR TEREZI: WHO KNOWS WH4T COULD H4V3 H4PP3N3D TEREZI: Y34H 4LR1GHT, 4LR1GHT TEREZI: G3T OFF MY C4S3 4BOUT 1T ALR34DY TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 1 D1D 1T ON PURPOS3

Is Terezi talking to her other selves or something?  Or another brain ghost?

TEREZI: W3R3 JUST LUCKY TH3R3 1SNT 4NY W1ND 4T TH3 MOM3NT TEREZI: 1V3 3ST4BL1SH3D TH4T TH1S 1S WHY TH3Y MOV3 TEREZI: TH3 4MBUL4TORS 4R3 PL4NTS IN THE STR1CT S3NS3, BUT EXH1B1T LOCOMOT1V3 B3H4V1OUR DU3 TO TH31R UN1QU3 CONSTRUCT1ON

Ooh, moving trees.  Nice.

TEREZI: TH3 M41N BODY OF THE PL4NT CONS1STS OF A N3TWORK OF HOLLOW, TUB3LIKE GROWTHS THROUGH WH1CH 41R M4Y TR4V3L TEREZI: TH3S3 N3TWORKS 4R3 SO SOPH1ST1C4T3D TH4T TH3 SH1FT1NG PR3SSUR3 1NS1D3 TH3 TRUNK 4ND BR4NCH3S C4N C4US3 TH3 3NT1R3 PL4NT TO UPROOT 1TS3LF 4ND B3G1N "W4LK1NG", PROV1D3D TH3 COND1T1ONS 4R3 R1GHT TEREZI: TH1S PROC3SS, WH1L3 M4J3ST1C, C4N H4V3 DR4ST1C 3FF3CTS ON TH3 PL4NTS SURROUND1NGS

I know you like to eat them, but when did your analysis of plantlife get so clinical?  Do you have Aranea blabbing in your ear or something?

Oh.  OH, wait.  They have a Command Station.  Is Rose communicating with her remotely via that, and Terezi is just Dave-like vocalizing everything Rose punches into the terminal?  Then that would be Terezi arguing with HER out loud.  And the sudden transition of talk to “I’ve established that this is why they move.” is very Rose-sounding.

> ==>

That lil’ “hup” pose to jump over the gap Terezi’s making is adorable.  Also, those are bad failed experiments y’all have created and you should feel bad, Rose and Dirk.  (Rose is definitely to blame for this spider-bunny nightmare.)

TEREZI: HUP!

Hup

TEREZI: 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3 >:O

They look like they’d taste like bee spiders with inedible stuffing throughout.

Trolls do find grubs of most sorts appetizing though.

> ==>

TEREZI THOSE ARE NO REASON TO BE HAPPY

> ==>

Yeah, beautiful field-shot aside I feel pretty bad for that creation.  Looks miserable.

> ==>

Now they’re just mashing up consorts.  Are they TRYING to populate the planet with weird garbage for the final products to eat?  (Or fight? Hard-troll-childhood style?)

> ==>

THAT THING IS NO REASON TO LOOK SO HAPPY EITHER REZI

Gosh, at least she’s having fun though.

> ==>

You’re ignoring Onionsan, Terezi

> ==>

I wonder what lazy name this Horsisaur has.

Fun abandoned. Survival instincts fully engaged. Terezi runs.

She throws backward sniffs over her shoulder as she tears through the scrubby cling of the planet’s undergrowth, catching fractured impressions of exactly what has decided to chase her. A shuddering, 20 foot monstrosity that somehow seems to both scamper and glide, like a centipede, rustling like foliage as it moves, as if an entire goddamn forest is bearing down on her.

Between the game and Alternia, you shouldn’t be TOO rusty at this, right?

The problem with using smells to navigate the world is that the unfamiliar can be difficult to parse. Every whiff over her shoulder gives her another blurry glimpse of what this beast is.

Yeah, smell is a little slower on the pickup than sight.

Rose shared her books with Terezi when she was on the ship, and her favorite by far was the compendium of the zoologically dubious. Everything contained inside was just so unbelievably unlikely. This creature appears to be a combination of all of them.

Really? What we see of it doesn’t look THAT weird.  But we only see about half of it from this angle, so.

--Twisted ankle?  Come on, you’re not THAT rusty.

> ==>

It’s fear, pure and simple. Unsurprising, when being menaced by a monster, but it also doesn’t last for more than a second. A cold flame that instantly burns itself out, and all of a sudden she is just deeply, impossibly, indescribably tired. Down to her bones.

You’re already giving up??!?

Honestly, she really has no right to feel this... this fatigue. This crushing embrace of endless struggle. Terezi Pyrope has not had an easy life by anyone’s standards, but so much of her thirteen or so sweeps has just been standing still. Waiting. Huddling blind and half dead in her recuperacoon, the sopor burning the hideous mess that the sun has left her eyes, alight with a hatred so layered and intense that she couldn’t make sense of it.

Dammit, do we have to go SO EXHAUSTINGLY DEEPLY into EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER’S PTSD?!??

It was horrifying--that pain or fury--but also, admittedly, very boring. Then there were the sweeps on the meteor, the endless, gelatinous stretches of time in the chaos of the outer ring, searching for... Vriska, ostensibly, but also maybe just for a chance to dry up. To disappear. Go extinct.

Terezi doesn’t know if it’s an attribute of her aspect, or the sheer psychic damage of spending so long in the company of two humans with god complexes. Maybe it’s just an inherited symptom of being conscious. But sometimes it feels like none of them are going to get out of this, alive or dead.

Fuck, apparently we are.  These writers don’t know how to let up.  Can’t we get a little more retroactive dwelling on how FUN some of their lives up til now were?  And then... maybe NOT only do that to contrast with how depressed they are now??  There was SO much delight in Homestuck amidst the hardship, and if you’re going to show us more of the hardship you have to show us more of the delight, too, or everything just gets pointlessly dark.

--ah, Rose redirected the command console to point to the monster and stopped it that way.

ROSE: I am devastated to report that those are really more vines than tentacles, and even worse, they aren’t mine.

Pff.

...Poking fun at the terminology for Patron Trolls, at this late date of all times.

TEREZI: D4V3 4ND 1 H4D 4 LOT 1N COMMON B4CK TH3N, OR 4T L34ST 1T F3LT L1K3 W3 D1D ROSE: As I have come to understand it, for a while at least, we were all being steered in the right direction by a debatably benevolent force. ROSE: One imposed on us by the game itself, even if we had yet to enter it. TEREZI: ... ROSE: You don’t believe me. TEREZI: NO, 1 DO TEREZI: 1T SOUNDS 1NCR3D1BLY DUMB AND UNL1K3LY BUT SO DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG 3LS3 TH4T H4PP3NS TO 4NY OF US

Terezi, don’t you know at least half as much about Skaia as anyone else here? Isn’t that what she’s talking about?

TEREZI: SO YOU 4R3 DO1NG TH3 S4M3 TH1NGS TO TH3S3 CR34TUR3S TH4T SOM3 OTH3R CR34TUR3S D1D TO YOU 4ND YOUR FR13NDS ROSE: I suppose that is a fair assessment. Although we were not our own creators. It was John who— DIRK: I hate to break up the recap episode, but we need to deal with this situation before it gets out of hand.

Wait, she’s talking about the Exiles?  Terezi TOLD Dave about the exiles helping them.  SHE was the one who told us how that worked!  Although I guess you could chalk her questions up to her not knowing one of those “terminals” was involved.

TEREZI: 4ND HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3 4NYW4Y? DIRK: I have administrative privileges. TEREZI: YOU H4V3 4DM1N1STR4T1V3 PR1V1L3G3S TO MY P4LMHUSK DIRK: Yes.

Was Terezi dictating to her palmhusk earlier?  Why was she talking for Rose’s part of the conversation earlier, but not now?  Was that a mistake?  Or did Rose switch off the terminal, despite her apparent confusion with the terminal now???

Opinion of HS^2... dropping... keep it together stop judging the comic so hard... NOT dropping off in quality... shh brain! Shoosh!!!

(Seriously though, don’t put ANY asks in my inbox about HS^2 dropping off in quality, even as much as I’M starting to complain.  Gotta keep my hopes up to keep enjoying myself as I keep going.)

ROSE: Don’t let it get to you. My father has a habit of appearing in places he’s not wanted.

You’re seriously just CALLING him that now?!??

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives.

Ah, that’s why you used the terminology.

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives. ROSE: Of course. I’ll take care of it. DIRK: Appreciate it. TEREZI: 1 W1SH YOU WOULDN’T DO TH4T WH3R3 1 C4N S33 1T DIRK: Do what? TEREZI: TH4T TH1NG WH3R3 YOU G3T P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 NOT M3 TO DO WH4T3V3R 1T 1S YOU W4NT TH3M TO TEREZI: M1ND CONTROL

Oh, damn.  That was a creepy order, then.  And is Rose STILL not wise to it?  Can Terezi and Dirk just TALK about the narrative control IN FRONT OF ROSE and have her not recognize it because of said control??? :C

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S GO1NG ON DIRK: You can make more boots. TEREZI: 1M NOT T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 BOOTS, NOOKBR34TH TEREZI: 1 MEAN TH3 M3N4G3R13 FROM H3LL DIRK: Well, we’ve encountered a couple bumps along the road. TEREZI: YOU DONT S4Y

This is fun, but I can’t help but notice that Rose has completely stopped talking.  Fuck having Dirk flaunt this even harder just ups the creepiness even more.

TEREZI: YOU GUYS R34LLY SUCK 4T TH1S DIRK: Yeah, agreed. TEREZI: ... TEREZI: WOW, TH4T W4S MUCH L3SS P41NFUL 4ND LONG-W1ND3D TH4N 1 W4S 3XP3CT1NG 1T TO B3 DIRK: What was? TEREZI: CONV1NC1NG YOU TH4T 4LL OF TH3S3 "D3S1GNS" TH4T YOU H4V3 COM3 UP W1TH SUCK SH1T TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD T3LL M3 TH4T 4LL OF 1T 1S P4RT OF SOM3 "GR4ND PL4N" TEREZI: TH4T TH3Y SUCK ON PURPOS3 OR SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T DIRK: Well, it is a part of the grand plan. And they do suck on purpose. DIRK: But not on my purpose. DIRK: It’s Rose. She is remarkably bad at this. Voluntarily. TEREZI: DO YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S TRY1NG TO S4BOT4G3 4LL OF YOUR GR4ND CR34T1ONS TEREZI: OH POW3RFUL GOD PR1NC3? DIRK: No, she’s playing the game. That part hasn’t been a problem. DIRK: I mean she is just making incredibly nonsensical decisions and refusing to back down, even when I up the ante to preposterous levels. DIRK: You should see some of the shit she’s come up with. I’m pretty sure I watched a vagina on legs walk by this morning. TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 S4W TH4T ON3 DIRK: Despite her initial resistance, Rose has gone completely feral. TEREZI: YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S H4V1NG FUN DIRK: Yes.

You loosened her morals so she’d be conscience-free to go full zoological playground, and she’s GOING full zoological playground.  What did you expect?

TEREZI: 4ND WH4T 1S WRONG W1TH 4 L1TTL3 B1T OF FUN YOUR H1GHN3SS? DIRK: Nothing. I got absolutely no problem with having a good time while we see to the boring and altogether completely frivolous task of seeding the future of this planet. DIRK: But she really TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT3D H3R TO B3 TH3 ON3 TO HOLD YOU B4CK, 1NST34D OF TH3 OTH3R W4Y 4ROUND DIRK: No, that's not it. TEREZI: YES, 1 TH1NK 1T 1S 1T

What?  “Holding her back”?  How did this suddenly become about Dirk’s insecurity at his ectobiological skill?

DIRK: By project, do you mean that I expect Rose to be too much like myself? TEREZI: NO, 1 M34N TH3 OPPOS1T3 TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT H3R TO B3 B3TT3R TH4N YOU TEREZI: YOU W4NT H3R TO PR3V3NT 4LL OF YOUR WORST T3ND3NC13S. TH3 W4Y 1 US3D TO W1TH VR1SK4 WH3N W3 W3R3 MO1R41LS

--Oh, you meant hold them back from going TOO FAR.  I see.  And also, the way Terezi and Vriska were “moirails” is the WORST example, and thus quite fitting to relate to this situation.  For their brief pale stint, Terezi never really STOPPED Vriska from doing ANYTHING. She just supported Vriska, while Vriska spewed some flattery Terezi’s way... and then proceeded to do whatever the fuck she wanted. Sometimes without telling her.  It was an AWFUL example of proper moirallegiance, as I covered in the above link.

Dirk wouldn’t know about that, though.  And neither does Terezi, apparently, unless she’s just not admitting it.

(EDIT: Also, Rose never had the slightest chance of ever holding Dirk back like she might have wanted because DIRK MIND CONTROL OVERRIDES HER EVERY TIME SHE HAS RESERVATIONS. The only way a moirallegiance can work at all is if the one being held back is WILLING to listen. Dirk has deliberately and continuously suppressed Rose's ability to even THINK about dissuading him from literally any course of action.)

TEREZI: YOUR3 3XP3CT1NG ROS3 TO C4TCH YOU WH3N YOU GO TOO F4R TEREZI: SH3 1SNT GO1NG TO DO TH4T, 1 DONT TH1NK TEREZI: 1N F4CT, 1 TH1NK SH3 1S MOR3 L1K3LY TO GO TOO F4R TH4N YOU 4R3 DIRK: What makes you say that? TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW TEREZI: JUST 4 F33L1NG, 1 GU3SS. 1 M1GHT NOT B3 4 GOD-MODD3D DORK 1N COSPL4Y, BUT 1M ST1LL A S33R TEREZI: 4ND 1 H4VE SP3NT W4Y MOR3 T1M3 W1TH TH3 TWO OF YOU TH4N 4LMOST 4NYON3 ELSE, WH1CH 1S 1NCR3D1BLY D3PR3SS1NG TO TH1NK 4BOUT

Guh.  A real pair of villains.  Is that REALLY why you brought Rose, Dirk?

TEREZI: 4NYW4Y, 1F YOU DONT L1K3 TH3 W4Y ROS3 1S DO1NG TH1NGS WHY DONT YOU JUST NOT-M1ND CONTROL H3R 1NTO DO1NG 1T TH3 R1GHT W4Y TEREZI: PROBL3M SOLV3D DIRK: I’ve made the decision to freehand this one. I’m not planning to influence Rose’s decision in any part of the contest. Otherwise it’s too easy, and barely worth doing at all.

Obviously.  And you can’t argue her down the normal way because she was NEVER someone to listen to someone like you in a direct confrontation without any misleading subterfuge.  You would’ve had to Doc Scratch it.

DIRK: So you’re saying you want me to mind-control Rose. TEREZI: NO, 1M S4Y1NG TH4T 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 4 COW4RD TEREZI: P3RH4PS 1 W1LL T3LL H3R TH4T YOU H4V3 B33N WH1SP3R1NG YOUR STR4NG3 L1TTL3 1NC4NT4T1ONS 1N H3R 34R OV3R TH3 L4ST F3W SW33PS TEREZI: L1K3 4 CR33PY W31RDO DIRK: No, you won’t. If you were going to, you would have already.

Are you talking about the narrative mind control or are you talking about something else?  Something weirder?  Because calling them “strange little incantations” sounds like he’s been doing some creepily Doc-Scratchy grooming to her like how Doc kinda rage-controlled the trolls to write his genetic code on their walls in their most vulnerable moments.

DIRK: Unless you think I’m still projecting my "image" of what I think Rose "should" do, and she actually won’t give a shit. TEREZI: NO, 1 TH1NK SH3 W1LL B3 CONFL1CT3D TEREZI: UNL3SS YOU M1ND-CONTROL H3R NOT TO B3 DIRK: Not mind control. TEREZI: WH4T3VER!

And that’s just it.  Rose WOULD have been very conflicted about MUCH of this if you hadn’t used your narrative control to override all her inhibitions.  So instead you get the version of her who would have gone with your plans without hesitation, which is the WORST version of her.  And she doesn’t even have a choice to be better.

Alright, that’s the end of the upd8.  See y’all!  Maybe a bit after the commentary goes up for this (already has for the Influencers bonus) I’ll cover the commentary on both this and the bonus, but that’ll be in at least a few days.  Ciao

[everyonesonthespectrum]

30 days of Autism Acceptance: Day 3!

April 3: Talk about special interests. Do you have any? What are they? How long have you had them? What does it feel like to have special interests? What does having special interests mean to you? Talk about your past special interests

HOO BOY! Ok, I’ll try not to go on too long about my special interests, but I have a lot to say about them! Also, some of my special interests are in this weird grey area of “are they a SpIn or a hyperfixation?”, so I’ll cover those as well, and make it noted when that’s the case for one. Also, this will be VERY LONG, so I’ll put it under a cut.

SpIn #1 - Pokemon

Pokemon has been my main special interest since I was 9, I believe! Black was my first game that I got for my birthday, and I was super happy to get it since all of my friends at the time would talk about it! I’ve gotten (almost?) every major release since then, thought I usually only get one out of the two versions. 

The Pokemon games that I have are *inhales*: Black, Black 2, HeartGold (got a few years after it came out), X (I have the limited edition 3DS), Alpha Sapphire, Moon (first completed Pokedex!), Ultra Moon (haven’t beat and probably never will), Let’s Go, Eevee!, Sword (still trying to beat), Conquest, Art Academy, PMD: Gates to Infinity, Picross, Rumble World, Battle Trozei, Pokemon Quest, Pokemon Playhouse (for when I’m regressed), Poke Park 1 & 2,  My Pokemon Ranch, and Battle Revolution!

I also used to play the TCG competitively, and in my first competition, I placed 9th in my division! I stopped playing about a year after that though because the cards I used in my strategy when I would practice with my Dad were too old to be viable.

I have a growing stuffie and merch collection as well! I have a lot of Unova stuffies, and a print of the Unova map that I got at a ren faire when I was younger (it currently hangs above my dresser)! My two favorite stuffies at this time are Baby my Eevee Build-A-Bear (named after my Eevee in Let’s Go, Eevee!), and Lily my Wooloo! I have a couple of Pokemon sketch cards that friends of my Dad’s drew, and some prints and figure-y things I’ve gotten in Artist Alleys over the years!

I also own a couple of different Pokemon books (not the manga, though), and 2 of the movies, along with the OSTs for B/W, X/Y, and ORAS! I don’t have much as far as clothing goes though, except for my “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” scarf and a Pikachu hat I got at an old anime store at the mall that has since closed. That’s probably all I can remember right now!

SpIn #2 - Steam Powered Giraffe

SPG has been a special interest for about 4 years now? Anyway, they’re my #1 favorite band and have literally saved my life. Watching Bunny Bennett’s (who plays Rabbit) vlogs about her transition, along with listening to the song Transform that she wrote (waaay before they just made it a single) really helped me accept myself and come out. 

They also came at a time where I was struggling emotionally a lot, and I remember being stuck in the ER hooked up to an IV, and my mom played some of their albums for me to keep me calm and grounded. More recently, I saw them perform at Anime Midwest last year, and when they performed Transform (which neither me or my friends expected), we were all hugging each other and crying tears of joy (my friends are trans as well, and have also been touched by Bunny’s vlogs).

Their songs (not including the sad ones) make me really happy as well, and Make Believe makes me stim a lot in particular! I also got to sing Honeybee as part of a voice coaching summer camp I took last year, and it felt really good to do it! I really recommend listening to them, especially if you like steampunk and/or you’re looking for trans artists to support!

SpIn #3 - Little Shop of Horrors

So this is more of a fairly recent one, compared to the first two. This special interest mostly applies to the 1986 movie, but I’ve seen the stage musical as well! The music, the cast, the plot, it’s all *chef’s kiss*. But for real though, my two favorite things about the movie are the practical effects and the endings.

With the CGI fresh hell we got with CATS, you may thing, “wow, special effects were so much better back then”. Except here’s the thing, they were practical effects. Audrey II is (I believe) entirely puppetry, not CGI. The same applies for the musical as well! It really culminated at the end of the film during “Mean Green Mother from Outer Space”, when Audrey II is at it’s biggest and most elaborate. Speaking of that scene, I much prefer the director’s cut over the theatrical cut. I know that the happy ending is much better for Audrey and Seymour, but “Don’t Feed The Plants” is an absolute banger, and I get a good cry out of it too.

I heard they might be making a remake of the movie, which I’m hesitant about, again, seeing how CATS turned out. We can only hope that they listen to the fans, and make the right decisions when it comes to making it.

SpIn #4 - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Ok, so this is one of those aformentioned “is it a SpIn or a hyperfixation” moments. I’ve been hyperfixated on JJBA for the past 6 months and I’m physically unable to shut up about it XD

I’m about to start watching part 4 of the anime, I just need to set aside time to do it. I watched it a tad out of order, my ex told me to skip part 1 and watch a synopsis of it, so I started with part 2 (I’m a huge part 2 stan btw), got to part 3, was confused by everything going on with DIO, so I went back, watched part 1, and then resumed part 3.

As I mentioned, I’m a huge part 2 stan, so I currently have several part 2 character cosplays in the works. This includes (but isn’t limited to) Caesar, Suzi Q, Playboy Bunny Caesar (inspired by a piece of art that @tinypalettes drew), Tequila Joseph (but like,, actually decent drag), and Cleric Suzi Q from the JJBA D&D session me and my friends are having. I also want to do a drag/latex DIO look, along with maid DIO inspired by an old JUMP cover and a fanfic I read the other day.

I get a little nervous about doing/going to JJBA events at conventions because I’m worried about running into my ex, but knowing that I have supportive people with me helps a lot.

SpIn #5 - Homestuck/Hiveswap

So this is another one of those “SpIn or hyperfixation” moments as well. I’ve been into Homestuck since late 2016, but I’ve never been super involved in the fandom. Like, yes, I have a moirail and I’ve been in and hosted panels at conventions, but I’ve encountered some toxic people in it, so I try to distance myself.

I will say, however, that Homestucks are loyal to their fandom, and will buy merch if they like it. When I say that, yes, I mean myself, but it’s mostly about my Etsy customers. If you look at my sales history, the majority of it is quadrant necklaces, almost always the moirail ones. I get some orders for horns and pillows too, but not as often as the necklaces. When it comes to exhibiting at conventions, it depends. I normally don’t put Homestuck stuff out on the table because it’s such a niche, but when I do, people will usually buy a lot at once. For example, at Wizard World Madison in 2018, one guy bought $50-60 worth of Homestuck sprites from me. That weekend was the best I’ve ever done, and I haven’t come close since. My Etsy store started out as just me making Homestuck sprites for me and my friends too, so I’m glad that I was able to expand and give others what I like as well.

I’m also involved in a Hiveswap YouTube musical, and I’ve made a lot of good friends through it! We’re on hiatus right now, but we should be starting up again soon! I also have a lot of Homestuck cosplays! I’ve done Karkat, John, Jade, Nepeta, Trickster Nepeta, Karkat Peixes (a bloodswap), and I have a lot more that I want to do!

SpIn #6 - Danganronpa

So Danganronpa is (probably) one of those last “SpIn or hyperfixation” things. I’ve been into Danganronpa since 2018 (I think?), and DR:AE is my favorite (mostly because I’m a Kotoko and Toko kinnie oof-)!

Right now, my only Danganronpa cosplay is Toko/Syo, but I’m working on a couple of j-fashion (particularly menhera and fairy kei) inspired looks to do with my moirail (who was the one who got me into j-fashion), and just some Amazon/eBay cosplays as well! I’m also working on a Future Foundation Toko cosplay to do with my moirail so we can do Tokomaru together (though most of it is thrifting and clothes I already have)!

I own DR1, SDR2, and DR:AE on my computer, but I don’t play them much. The second trial in DR1 gives me panic attacks because of the whole breaking of trust thing (I’ve heard the audios and I just,,, break down), I haven’t touched SDR2 yet, and I’m sucky at the controls for DR:AE. However, I’ve watched the anime and I’ve seen let’s plays, so I have a feel for what’s going on, though I may not remember it all correctly since I haven’t watched them in a while.

———————————–

So that’s most (if not all) of my special interests! I probably forgot some, but it’s getting late and I need to pack for my Mom’s and go to bed. I hope you all have a good night!

[dragimal]

ok this is like. MAJORLY self-indulgent, self-psychoanalyzing rambling so I’m putting it under a readmore, but my thoughts have been spinning in circles over this for like. practically my whole teen/adult life. and I just need to put it down somewhere

idc if anyone wants to read this or respond or anything, again I’m just basically trying to vomit out my thoughts until something makes sense

so like. anxiety. I know I have it, that’s the ONE Problems Disorder I’m 100% certain I’ve got, to whatever degree it matters

but that’s kinda the thing-- to WHAT degree, and DOES that matter? at what point can I say it’s a legitimate part of me, and at what point is it something negligible and unobtrusive?

b/c here’s the other thing-- anxiety is, in fact, a strong aspect of my self-image. it’s something I associate strongly with as a character trait, and I tend to relate to ‘meek’ characters

I know part of it is a defense mechanism. I had to make myself small, being raised by my mom. she’s a whole other rant, but essentially she’s a very defensively prideful person, and any attempt to steer a conversation towards your own accomplishments/needs/interests is met with a blank look and a swift topic change back to herself. (and god forbid u bring up her faults, that would guarantee manipulative guilt-tripping at best, screaming and crying at worst)

but there’s also another convoluted level to this defense mechanism. I recognized at a young age, on some subconscious level, that pride was/is my mom’s greatest downfall. so I internalized that as, “pride (and even more broadly, confidence) is bad and and a danger to those around you” 

not to be Homestuck on main, but Dave’s first conversation with Dirk struck me on a level of personal experience that few other pieces of media have ever hit, particularly this bit

obviously the physical aspect of this abuse is beyond me, but the emotional manipulation, and Bro subsequently ruining a generally positive concept (the concept of heroism, in his case) hits incredibly close to home

my mom exuded confidence and always told me that confidence in myself over all else would save me, but she ultimately ruined confidence for me. I know there will always be this underlying thread of fear that if I’m not afraid-- that if I allow myself confidence-- that I will become like her. that I’ll hurt people with my pride

now this is all shit that I’ve known abt myself for a long time, and I know I’ve even mentioned some of this in passing before. but here’s what’s fucking me up nowadays: what happens when you cling to anxiety like this? what happens when you craft a disorder into your personality? where does subconscious reaction end and deliberate masking begin?

b/c here’s the other thing: I don’t truly hate myself. not rly-- not on the level I would say is dangerous or clinical. some of it may very well be real, but I definitely play it up. like play-acting at under-confidence

and it’s not like I don’t have pride either. I have tons of pride for various things I do or accomplish, namely academic studies, crafting/art, and just like working standards in general. when I can eloquently describe/argue my point, or accurately craft something to my inner image, I feel very real pride

but pride hurts. I feel pride, but equal to that is the shame I feel at feeling pride in the first place. it’s genuinely painful at times to accept a compliment without argument NOT because I necessarily disagree (tho there are definitely times where I DO actually disagree), but to accept a compliment is to admit I have pride in the thing being complimented, and THAT is unacceptable

and it’s not like my fear is unfounded either. I’ve hurt ppl w/ my pride before-- and this isn’t my anxiety making me self-critical, I KNOW this for a FACT. it simply comes with the territory of all that “gifted child” bullshit in school. yeah I was one of those. thankfully not a very outspoken student (the anxiety in my younger days was a lot more real and visceral), but I do still distinctly remember moments where my academic pride gave me an... inflated sense of presence over those that didn’t get the material, I guess u could say

I know there were times I made ppl feel small, due to my pride. hell, times I got overly, fearfully defensive of my knowledge or artistic skill to the point of talking over others and making them feel stupid. no one deserves to feel small, and it fucking tears me up to know that I did that to ppl. that I still knee-jerk react in that way sometimes, even now, and it still slips out

and isn’t that just proof that I can’t appropriately handle pride? that I’m not mature enough for confidence?

and it’s not even all about making myself small for others’ sake. half of it is this incredibly selfish knowledge that not living up to my own standards will fucking kill me if I let it

I feel like every ‘gifted kid’ experiences a chain events that starts at, “wow I’m so smart, I’m great at every subject!” and ends at, “christ I’m fucking garbage at literally everything.” we’re taught that success is in being able to do something well the first time (or at least quickly and with little effort), so if we’re not immediately good at something, we shut down b/c we were never taught that success is actually in the effort at the task

this has been talked to death by others so I don’t want to bother w/ it too long, but the critical thing to note is that there’s there’s this eventual sense of defeat in everything you do, when ur brought up w/ this mindset

I used to be somewhat competitive in certain things when I was younger-- the rare sports I played when I was RLY young, academics obviously, etc. or at least, competitive with my own personal standards, if not necessarily against other ppl. but every failure and mistake made me so upset that the angst was like. genuinely dangerous to my health

I used to play golf on a team in middle school, and every time I whiffed it I would get SO angry at myself that my dad literally told me that that level of upset would kill me someday and that I rly needed to stop

so I took that to heart and just. stopped caring

every time I whiffed it after that point, I was just like, “ah, well, what can ya do ¯|_(ツ)_/¯ ” this attitude definitely lowered my blood pressure, but it also rly killed my motivation to like... improve. b/c the thought of even trying to improve brought up all these feelings abt trying to meet my own standards of success, and how much it would hurt to fail

when u don’t set any standards u gotta meet, then when u fail u don’t rly fail, y’know? “well I didn’t even try, so it’s actually fine”

obviously I couldn’t give less of a shit abt golf anymore, but sometimes I wonder if my cold-turkey drop in confidence played a part in killing the interest itself? I know that sports and physical activity were never rly my thing in the first place, but did I perhaps give up so hard that I convinced myself that I didn’t even like those things in the first place?

I know it happened w/ academics at least: start to struggle with math? now I hate math. chemistry? that sucks too. etc etc

I kinda side-tracked here w/ all the talk of ‘gifted kid’ stuff, my point is that I have a vested interest in humbling myself-- to actively craft the persona of a meek, humble person

and I’ve been wondering if that, in and of itself, is manipulative. like, is it manipulative to let others think I rly lack THAT much in self-confidence? that I rly hate myself that much?

it certainly feels that way when I knee-jerk reject a compliment abt something I do, in fact, feel pride in-- when the shame at that pride is too much. but my friends don’t know it’s that reactive shame-- they think it’s that I rly don’t have confidence in that thing

but god, how do I even explain this fucking tangled, convoluted bullshit over my reaction to compliments? that I have to be small or I’ll hurt someone? that I do feel pride, and that’s the problem? what does that even MEAN to someone outside my own head??

and that’s not even to get into whether that manipulation is like, actually some subconscious tactic to get MORE compliments! am I fishing? when I make a post like this, am I actually just fishing for more compliments? is that what I’m doing??

I feel like I’m running in circles here, nipping at my own goddamned heels abt pride and shame and what is real and acting and does it even matter if nobody gets hurt?

do people get hurt? ppl get hurt when I allow myself pride, it’s happened before. but now I’m realizing that my self-hate may hurt ppl too-- my self-deprecation often goes too far, and it hurts the ppl who care abt me

how do I explain that self-deprecation is safe? a shield to hold back my pride? hell, it’s more accurate to say it’s a safe way to EXPRESS my pride in a way that ppl don’t detect. I acknowledge my faults, and if I frame it in a socially-acceptably comedic way, I get the pride of making someone laugh! it’s SAFE pride!

but is it? but is it, when it hurts ppl to hear me self-hate?

is there any way to feel pride safely?

I’ve never thought of myself as an actor, or as someone who can lie well (or at all). but can I lie, when I also believe the lie? is it a lie that I have anxiety? that I hate myself? that I have no confidence?

how much of me is real? how much does that hurt others? how do I carve out the parts of me that hurt others how do I make myself smaller in ways that are genuine and lasting and don’t hurt people??

I want to be small. I like being small. but am I small? or am I playing at being small?

I don’t know. I don’t know.

(cashing in on that safe comedic validation babeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

[lettersofsky]

A Carousel of Duties and Expectations

Fandom: Homestuck Relationship: Gamzee<>Horuss Characters: Gamzee Makara, Horuss Zahhak Additional Tags: Corporal Punishment, Whipping, A Not so Good Pale Relationship right now,

aka The Other Horuss<>Gamzee AU I have <.< >.>

Basic beech explanation is it’s an AU where purple bloods get assigned moirails in order to keep them under control, placated and manageable and to avoid them going on... rouge murder rampages <.< And Horuss gets assigned as Gamzee’s for... reasons... reasons pretaining to his bloodcaste sign and Gamzee’s and ... shenanigans >:3c And Gamzee is a mess because yes. I need it. And Horuss is kinda terrible at all this because yes. I need that too. These bois I love them, what happens when a doormat meets a steamroller and I’m blessed.

The sound of a whip singing through the air before striking flesh is becoming far more familiar than Horuss had ever wanted it to, he had expected it of course, there was no denying the nature of clowns and their nature for harm and punishment to those that were deserving of it. To have hoped to never become familiar with the sounds would have been foolish, but, perhaps not so much if he had expected it to take longer to become as familiar as it was. But that was what he had to deal with when he had been assigned the clown he had been.

Gamzee Makara.

Supposedly one of the Grand Highblood’s bloodline itself with potential abound. Unfortunately he had a long way to go before he would be anything close to realizing that potential, and Horuss was the individual entrusted on assisting him in getting there. Somehow.

May the Mother have mercy on him. On them both.

The sound of the whip cutting through the air rang through the room again, impacting flesh with a heavy noise, followed by just a sharp inhale of breath. Good, at least Gamzee knew enough by now not to cry out, or perhaps the young clown was simply growing used to the punishment.

It was over soon enough and they were both left to themselves, the others in the room leaving Gamzee to Horuss’ cares.

It was… unnerving to suddenly be left in the quiet of the purple-stained room with the other. They were still too new, too unknown to each other to be forced into these kinds of scenarios, really the clown should know better than to keep getting himself into trouble like this.

But, he is making no signs of rising or moving from his prostrate position so once more it is up to Horuss to make the first move. There’s little care for if more colour stains his uniform, the regalia of those meant to act as the moirails of the Church is already graced with colours of the whole spectrum at the wrists and the length of the spine, a little extra purple means nothing. He kneels next to Gamzee’s smaller frame, watching the deep, too-steady rise and fall of his back, the clown’s face was still turned towards the floor, hiding himself from Horuss’ view.

He allowed the wrigglerish behaviour a moment longer before reaching out to him, one large palm resting at the base of his back, feeling the flinch that earned him but ignoring it, the other moving to his chin to force his face up. Gamzee looked a mess, tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks even if he hadn’t cried out, ‘good’ a quiet part of Horuss though, ‘perhaps he’ll show some sense now’. He doubted it, Gamzee did not seem much in the way of thought or intelligence after all.

“Hoof you quite finished your attempts to disgrace us both for the hay?” Perhaps not the kindest thing that could come have come out of his mouth, but he could hardly be blamed. He was at his wit’s end with this clown.

“I’m sorry,” it’s mumbled under Gamzee’s breath and Horuss has to resist shaking him. Sorry was not going to cut it if they were both decided to be incompetent or dangers to the rest of the Church, they’d both be culled and then Gamzee’s apologies would mean less than nothing.

“Come along then,” Horuss said, standing back to his feet and tugging Gamzee forcefully up with him. The clown’s fangs sunk into his bottom lip as he was moved, the majority of his weight resting heavily against Horuss’ chest. Horuss pushed him back to stand on his own feet, ignoring the same noise of distress Gamzee made in response. “I need to tend to those.”

He tried to step away completely but was stopped by a hand reaching out to grasp his arm, faster than his eyes could track it. Horuss stiffened, turning his gaze down to the clown, Gamzee was not looking at him but that wasn’t the most unusual thing with him, the other had the most peculiar aversion for eye contact.

“What is it?” He really didn’t have the patience for the other’s shenanigans now, it had been a long night, a longer perigee and he was tired. Really, someone older should have been given this clown, someone more prepared than he himself was, only being 3 sweeps Gamzee’s senior, it was too soon for him to be in charge of another.

“… stay?”

“What? You need to speak up, I hoof informed you that I care little for mumbling,” brows furrowing down at the clown Horuss waited for Gamzee to swallow and attempt to speak again, hopefully something he’d hear this time.

“… s’nothing, neva mind.”

“Neigh.” Horuss really had had enough of this. He grasped his arm tightly and tugged him back against him, staring down at avoidant purple eyes. “You will repeat what you said and you will do it now.”

Gamzee’s teeth sunk back into his lip, eyes focusing somewhere past Horuss’ ear as he took a deep breath, stuttering over the words a bit as he got them out. “Could yah… maybe stay after… this time? If… if that’s not too much trouble for yah that is… I like it when ya just hang out with me.”

…

What?

“What?” Horuss blinked down at Gamzee not quite sure he was hearing what Gamzee was saying correctly. “Excuse me?”

“I want…” Gamzee forced out, fidgeting with the buttons on Horuss’ uniform. “Want ya to hang out with me… outside a… when ya gotta if ya wanna… a motherfucker gets lonely sometimes and ya don’t… don’t often… just hang with me.”

Oh.

“Yes I, I suppose I could spend some time with you afterwards.” There was certainly nothing that required Horuss’ immediate attention now that the main event of the night was finished. Though he… couldn’t recall the last time he and Gamzee had simply spent time together outside of what was required of them, had they since they’d been assigned each other?

That… that was something he had to fix.

Gamzee beamed up at him and yes, yes he would have to fix that indeed. Did Gamzee really have anyone that he spent time with outside of his assignments? Horuss wasn’t aware of any, another glaring issue.

It seemed he had quite a bit to work on with Gamzee, but… one step at a time, one step at a time.

They would get there.

Horuss’ uniform is definitely based on this amazing thing

[sanctferum]

Steven Universe – Legs From Here to Homeworld reactions

Another episode so soon! Here we go…

First of all, I’m gonna hazard a guess that the legs in question refer to Pink’s ship. Pretty obvious, I suppose.

OK, starting the episode now…

Hey Blue! Crying as usual…but these are tears of happiness.

Blue’s aura apparently runs on strong emotion in general, not just sorrow, cause everyone else is still affected. (Except Connie)

Garnet would obviously not wanna trust Blue. Surprisingly, when it comes to not attacking the Diamonds, Bismuth is a voice of reason. As opposed to the exact opposite.

Meanwhile, Yellow Diamond has telekinetic powers of some sort that she’s using to retrieve her ship. It’s not going very well, and the ship is not in very good shape even if she did get it over to where she is.

The ship just keeps falling apart the more she tries. RIP hand ships (and the barn and Rose’s sword, while we’re at it). I wonder if Yellow Pearl is inside?

Aaaaand, “Pink Diamond” interrogation time.

Yes, please stop with the tears, Blue. Even Yellow is aggravated. (And notably affected by Diamond powers despite being a Diamond herself. We might’ve already seen that at the trial on Homeworld, though, I’m not sure.)

Steven they’re not gonna know what a mom is, or that you and your mom aren’t quite the same person.

“[Pink/Rose] kept it secret from everyone.” “AHEM.” “Almost everyone.” I love that Pearl is so offended by the implication that Rose didn’t confide in her (not that she needed to).

Yup. There’s the catch. For all intents and purposes, Pink Diamond as the other Diamonds knew her is as dead as they thought she was beforehand.

“I’m sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.” “Actually, I go by Steven.” This is gonna be Jasper calling Steven “Rose” all over again, isn’t it

Next topic of discussion: How did Pink Diamond survive? Even if she wasn’t shattered, she was still on the surface of the planet when the Diamonds unleashed their combined powers. I saw the preview for this episode at the end of Reunited, so I already saw a bit of this discussion. I don’t remember if I pointed this out then, but apparently the Diamonds didn’t intend the corruption to be a thing. They thought their powers would just straight-up wipe out everything. But it didn’t affect anything or anyone besides the gems, and they weren’t shattered, just corrupted. Hmmm.

Field trip time, to the Nephrite drop ship! Steven opens up the door and Centipeedle comes out, and Steven bought that one brand of chips Centipeedle really liked, too.

Funny you should ask that, Yellow. You, Blue and White are all responsible for what you’re looking at right now.

Steven gets Yellow to agree to try and help Centipeedle. She lifts Centipeedle up, channeling energy into her, and…huh. It seems to have worked. (For now.)

Nephrite’s insignia shows that she wasn’t someone bought in by Blue or Yellow, but was under Pink Diamond’s domain. Huh.

Nephrite’s form has been restored, but her mind is still broken. So the theories were right – Yellow’s energy was what caused their bodies to become corrupted, and Blue’s were what caused their minds to become corrupted. Then…what damage did White do…?

Indeed, Blue’s touch and energy does nothing to Nephrite’s body, but it does stop her from drooling acid, and causes her expression to change into a serene, less feral one.

But even with her mind restored, Nephrite’s still traumatized beyond belief, and can only cower in horror while repeating the line “No please no, we’re all gonna be…” over and over again. I can’t tell how much of that is related to the actual trauma and how much of it could be because of whatever White Diamond did.

Steven licks his hand and sticks some healing spit on her back, but I have my doubts it will completely undo what happened to Nephrite. Besides the actual trauma being something she wouldn’t be able to get over that easily, Steven has Pink Diamond’s powers, but Pink wasn’t one of the ones who caused this. It’s gonna take his healing in conjunction with all three other Diamonds reverse-engineering their powers to fully and permanently heal the Corruption. And there’s no way the other Diamonds will want to do so for each and every individual gem, especially the ones that, unlike Nephrite, used to be Crystal Gems. There’s gotta be some way for Steven to be able to do it himself, but for now, the power of all four Diamonds combined is the only way available – and one of those Diamonds isn’t even here.

But it does seem to work for the time being–

OK WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE FILTHY HOMESTUCK WHO DECIDED HER NUMBER WOULD BE 413

(seriously though, as refrances go, that was pretty incredible)

Nephrite 413’s commander was a Hessanite. Not important or anything, but.

Yeah about that Nephrite…Steven’s right behind you. I wonder if she even remembers Steven from her time as Centipeedle.

And immediately upon Yellow and Blue removing their hands, Nephrite returns to Centipeedle. Perhaps whatever White Diamond did was something regarding not whether their minds and bodies worked, but something regarding whether they continued to work. Did her energy beam thing affect the gems’ stability…?

Aaaaand, nice moment over. Yellow’s back to being annoyed with “Pink”, and Blue’s attempt to calm her down is very condescending towards the life, gem or non-gem, on Earth. And with Centipeedle’s return to being a monster, Steven’s once again been reminded of the horrors of corruption, and of who caused it, and that even with Blue and Yellow’s help, he’s powerless to permanently undo it…

“If it was the four of us…” “Oh no…we can’t let her see this…” OH SHIT WE’RE DOING THIS WE’RE GONNA DISCUSS WHITE DIAMOND

(It’s been an awfully long time coming…)

Huh. Garnet, Bismuth and Pearl all seem somewhat horrified by even the prospect of White Diamond. Pearl in particular…I’m pretty sure Pearl was a gift from White to Pink, so this bodes ill.

“White Diamond isn’t like us. She isn’t even like [Yellow and Blue]…” Pearl…?

“You have no IDEA what she’s capable of.” Yes, that’s why we want to have an idea of what she’s capable of. Tell us more.

Apparently White hasn’t left Homeworld in forever…I can’t help wondering, once again, if that giant statue of her in the Homeworld skyline was just a statue, or whether it was White herself.

Steven’s new mission: return to Homeworld, speak to White Diamond. And with both hand ships destroyed, he’s taken the Diamonds to Rose’s junk pile. You know, where the giant pink knees sticking above the sand are.

“It’s just past these pink pyramids!” Oh Steven…

Steven gives everyone a pep talk, while accidentally activating the ship he’s looking for. “Oh, heh heh” indeed.

Why did the people of Beach City return so soon after the events of last night? Well, regardless, Ronaldo’s taking a video of the event, so now the whole world will know, and be convinced that Ronaldo has a very good special effects team. Which he does not. His special effects are terrible.

Thankfully, the feet of the ship are high heels and not weird pom pom slippers. Thank goodness for small mercies.

OK, so the ship is a pair of legs with a butt on top. That weird statue of White Diamond must be her own ship then – the rest of the torso and the head. I’m not ruling out her literally being the ship yet, though.

Steven’s dead set on going to Homeworld, but this time Connie doesn’t want to be left behind. How she got her parents to let her do this, I don’t know, but they seem supportive enough, if also very worried (as they should be).

Reforging a sword for Connie can wait, since this is gonna (supposedly) be a diplomatic mission. Pearl’s also going! I wonder if Garnet and Amethyst are too, or whether they’re gonna stay behind. Even if they go, Greg can look after things, right? Peridot and Lapis’ gems, Pumpkin, Lion, Cat Steven, what remains of the temple and house, etc. And if Bismuth stays with him, she has plenty of time to make Connie a new sword.

Homeworld does have an atmosphere capable of human survival, weirdly enough.

Doug Maheswaran stop getting distracted by the spaceships’ huge ass

Ah, Amethyst is coming along. Still not sure about Garnet or Bismuth, though.

Amethyst is excited about the prospects of meeting more of the Famethyst, but IIRC all of Pink’s amethysts are at the Zoo? I could be wrong though.

OK, Garnet’s going. Cat Steven and Lion are staying. What about Bismuth?

Bismuth is okay with Steven going if it brings back all her Corrupted friends. But actually joining the Diamonds herself is too far of a thing for her to do. Understandable. Also, Bismuth warns Steven that he’s gonna need to stand up for himself if the Diamonds try anything. Good advice.

Ah, there’s Peridot and Lapis. Or their gems, at least.

So, Greg will take care of Cat Steven, Bismuth will take care of Lapis and Peridot, and Lion will take care of himself as he always does. And now it’s time to leave!

Show some enthusiasm, Yellow? No? OK.

Apparently, the legs are controlled via Steven’s actual legs, once he’s standing in the right place inside the ship.

Steven that is not how people walk! That is ridiculous!

Pearl is just sweatdropping at this

Yeah, I think Pink taking off would have been somewhat less ridiculous.

…Or not. Thanks for the info, Pearl

Steven worries about making a good impression on White Diamond, but Yellow scoffs and says that they’ll be lucky if White even speaks to Yellow or Blue, much alone any of the others, after they drop in like this.

White is a tough customer, sounds like.

Would she really go far as to bubble fellow Diamonds, though? I’m not getting a very good feeling about this at all…

And with that and a few more seconds of reflective silence, the ship arrives. And Homeworld looks in even worse shape than it looked like from the inside. It’s been so hollowed out that what remains of the planet is split in half…

Yellow and Blue make plans to go see White and calm her down, letting the others not be instantly slaughtered by her or whatever.

Garnet hears a sound as the Diamonds start to get up. Cheering?

Uh…I think that’s some kind of arena, maybe? Filled to the brim with members of each diamond’s court, including Pink’s, all arranged by color in a two by two pattern? And yeah, as I suspected, White’s ship has no arms or bottom half.

Yeah, that’s a crowd all right.

Just as Steven starts to think things might turn out all right, an orb emerges from White Diamond’s ship. It isn’t a large orb, so it’d be weird to think White Diamond is inside, unless she’s even smaller than Pink was.

It’s not White Diamond. It’s White Pearl. Perhaps she’s always been White’s Pearl, or perhaps she’s a replacement Pearl after the original was given away to Pink? Or I could just be wrong about Pearl originally being from White’s court. She certainly looks unnerving…are those “veins” where he left eye should be, or fractures?

White Diamond is apparently powerful enough that even the other Diamonds can’t refuse her orders – even when delivered via a Pearl. White Pearl primly dismisses Blue and Yellow, and reforms her orb with Steven inside before taking off back to White’s ship, much to Connie, Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet’s dismay. Immediately upon depositing Steven into White Diamond’s chamber, White Pearl promptly slips back through the wall, vanishing.

And here is White Diamond.

White keeps talking over Steven’s attempted explanation. She’s treating Pink’s rebellion and betrayal like a mere child’s game. Well, Pink was kind of the Diamond equivalent of a child, but I get the feeling she’s like this with Yellow and Blue, too.

“Did you get everything out of your system? Everyone is so relieved.” She hasn’t even heard what Blue and Yellow think about the situation. I don’t think she cares. If she says they’re relieved, then they’re relieved. It doesn’t matter if they say otherwise. And it certainly won’t matter what Steven says…

It sounds like she expects “Pink” to get right back to work being a Diamond. Uh-oh.

Another orb swallows Steven before he can even begin to make his case. And it takes him to what looks like the inside of a Palanquin.

As he looks out from the opening of the Palanquin(?), he can see White Diamond’s ship across the way.

End of episode.

Woah. Well, we’ve finally met White Diamond. And I thought Yellow was final boss material…White’s so condescending, she makes Yellow looks like a warmhearted angel. Jesus fuck I hate her already.

I guess this is the end of season 5? Maybe? Holy fuck.

[hornyfishprince]

Tell me some of your favorite stories with your friends. I need good vibes my way!

Hey! Sorry this took a couple days to get to, but let’s see here… This is a very long story, and I apologize in advance.

A couple years ago, I went to my first anime convention with CactusoftheNight and yurukiturah (Cas and Cat respectively; try not get them mixed up). The three of us often refer to that event as “The No Chill Weekend” because shit just… kept happening.

Now, before this, I had never met either of them in real life, but Cas and I had met online a few years prior, and he’s known Cat since gradeschool. Cas and I were (and still are) way too into homestuck for our own good at the time, and while he’d been to this particular convention in Dallas, Texas numerous times neither of us had ever cosplayed. As you can imagine, our stars were aligned. Months of planning and prep, measuring, cutting, sewing, fabric paint, body paint, makeup, arm socks, paper clay, broken horns, a broken wand, experimenting with everything! Mistakes were made. Money was wasted. This is all before the actual convention weekend. We had no idea what we were in for. 

Summer arrived, and it was finally time. I took a bus 800 miles from my sleepy little hometown in Illinois all the way to Dallas. It was my first time taking a bus, and my first time traveling alone. My bags had been packed meticulously carefully with all of my cosplay supplies, and I was a paranoid wreck whenever my luggage wasn’t gripped in my hands. Luckily the trip down was relatively uneventful. I rode overnight and arrived early in the morning, dazed from lack of sleep, but excited beyond belief.

Cas and his mom picked me up from the bus station and treated me to a nice breakfast at IHOP. I stayed at Cas’s place for the next two days while we did our final prep work for the con. We should’ve known then that it was going to be an interesting weekend. Neither of us had finished our armsocks (a crucial piece of costuming for any looking to transform into one of those candycorn motherfuckers), so it was now a race to get them done. We listened to Nightvale while we sewed, and that was about all we did for those days. It was hard work, but we didn’t care. We were going to be stepping into the skins of our favorite homestuck trolls (I was going as Eridan, and Cas was going as Gamzee), and we were high on the excitement of it all.

Then it was time to meet up with Cat. For the rest of the con weekend, we were staying in her dad’s condo, because it was the closest place we could stay to the convention without renting a hotel room (which we had no money for). The day before the con officially started people could come in and do their registration and then stay for a masquerade ball, which is exactly what we did. Cas and I had originally planned on cosplaying that night as well, just fancied up, but we didn’t have enough time to fuck around with all that facepaint. Also we still hadn’t finished the armsocks. I still wore my cape.

The cape was a mistake.

The chain holding it closed about my neck was flimsier than I had realized, and it snapped while we were trying to dance (badly, I might add, because we missed the dancing lessons they were supposed to hold earlier that day). The combination of a broken costume piece, a crowded ballroom, nothing to do, and my crippling anxiety issues led to us leaving early. We managed to fix my cape well enough that it would mostly hold together, but it still gave me grief for the rest of the weekend. We spent the rest of the night relaxing and playing CAH, and we still didn’t get our armsocks finished.

The next morning, we started the rush to get in costume. It took hours and a metric fuckton of baby powder, but our paint looked perfect and was sealed. Cas and I had only half of our armsocks done and since his arms were going to be more uncovered, we had to cut each of the finished arms into long gloves for him to wear, and then I got to paint my hands.

We had to take a few buses and then a train down to the hotel where the convention was being held, and then there was still a bit of walking to do on the way. I should mention at this point that Cat was in a long, black, leather trench coat - the garb of Org XIII from the Kingdom Hearts series. Cat is also very tall. Like a foot taller than Cas and I. We were a sight to behold. And behold us they did. You’d honestly be surprised how many people who don’t live immediately next to the hotel don’t know about the convention. Incredulous looks and questions abound.

On our way between the bus and the train, we stopped for a snowcone. An older gentleman questioned all three of us about our costumes, but he seemed the most enamored by mine, kept asking what I was supposed to be.

“A fish,” I replied simply, not knowing how else to explain (homestuck cannot be explained).

“Oh!” he responded, excitedly. “Well, swim all over me!”

The three of us laughed awkwardly and then our next bus arrived. I don’t think we’ll ever forget the “swim all over me” guy.

That first day was amazing. A-kon is the oldest anime convention in the united states, and it shows. Until recently, it was held at the Hilton-Anatole in Dallas, which is where we were that weekend, and it is a beautiful event. So many people in so many fandoms coming together in one spot. The dealer’s room and artist alley had so much to display you could hardly get through it all. We didn’t go to any panels, but everything we did do was worth the time we spent.

The first two days were busy and tiring, but fun, and not a disaster. But on the night of the second day, things took a turn. It started when Cas and I decided to stay for a panel that was being held a bit late. Unfortunately this meant we missed the Rocky Horror showing, but they do that every year and we planned on being back, so we figured we weren’t missing too much. In the interest of not dragging out this story anymore than it already is, I’ll spare the details on the panel we went to, but know that Cat couldn’t go with us because she wasn’t old enough at the time. This left her alone, and it was getting late before the panel ended, so eventually Cas and I had to rejoin her so we could head home before the trains stopped running.

Nerves were already a bit frayed at this point, as we were all sore and tired, and the walk to the train station was not a short one. When we made it to the ticket kiosk, the train was already pulling in and stopping. In our rush to get our tickets and get on the train, Cas’s backpack was left open and several things fell out. We realized this after another passenger handed him his phone charger. I had Cas check for my wallet (I had no pockets that could hold it) and sure enough it was gone.

Panic set in.

At the train’s next stop, a few blocks down the road, we got off and before we could so much as think, Cas was handing me his backpack and sprinting off back to the other station. I was still freaking out, and took off after him without thinking. Poor Cat stayed behind, alone again (I am still so sorry about that, oh my god). I wasn’t fast enough to keep up and soon lost sight of him, but continued on at a walking pace, knowing I would catch up eventually.

Meanwhile, Cas was running on. If you’ve never seen a chubby alien juggalo running straight at you with a look of sheer determination on their face, you can’t really know exactly how the people downtown felt when they saw Cas approaching that night. He searched all over the platform. He asked everyone who happened to be there waiting for the train if they had seen my wallet. They all stammered and shook their heads, perplexed by the urgent request from the strange grey man. “Was that Satan?!” Cas heard one of them exclaim as he was leaving them to ask the next bystander.

I was still on my way, alone, in a city I’d never known. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, but too scared to turn back at this point. A stranger spoke up from the darkness behind me, and I nearly jumped out of my shitty painted shoes. Luckily he was nice, and apologized for scaring me. He walked with me to the train stop, asking me about my costume and why I was out dressed like that so late. I gave him a brief rundown.

Just before making it to the train station, Cas crossed the street and met up with us, defeat and physical exertion coloring his face. We both had tears in our eyes at this point, and now we had to get back to Cat and figure out what to do. The stranger walked with us for a bit longer to make sure we would be okay before parting ways.

We eventually made it back. Cas called my dad for me and I explained through shaking sobs what had happened. My driver’s license, my debit card, and about $60 cash were now gone, and I was a 19-year-old in a city far from home. Anything worse that had ever happened to me before had involved physical injury. My dad agreed to call the bank asap and cancel my debit, and then we’d have to figure out my driver’s license when I got back. Cat called her parents, and they reimbursed me for the lost cash.

The three of us stood and waited for the next train. Some rando with a skateboard walked by and shouted at us something along the lines of “You guys wanna fuck me? I’d fuck me!” Still not sure if he was high as shit or just weird, but you gotta be pretty brave to solicit what appear to be a dark sorceress and the demons she summoned. At the time, we were too stressed to be amused by this, and if he hadn’t shut up and gone away, I honestly think we would’ve thrown down.

So the train arrives and we board. I’m still drying my eyes, and my two friends are doing a good job trying to calm me down. Eventually the train picks up some more passengers and we’re treated to a lovely conversation with some very drunk girls (and one guy, who happened to look like Matt Smith) who had just gotten back from a country music concert. They told us all how nice our costumes were, and we explained about the convention and how I’d lost my wallet. We showed them some cool stuff we’d bought at the con, including an Ouran Highschool Host Club poster I got, which, after seeing, they proceeded to tell Cat she looked like Honey. Drunk girls who go out of their way to be friendly and cheer you up give me life, tbh.

But eventually we get to our stop. And by now the buses have stopped running, as we knew they would, so now we have to walk. Unfortunately, Cat underestimated the distance from the train station to her dad’s condo. It was about 4 miles. I once walked about 3 miles for a school event once, and, as someone who doesn’t walk regularly, it was rough. There was nothing for it, though; we had to walk.

My heels were already starting to blister just from all the walking we’d done at the con. Cas was in mostly the same boat. Our shoes were not good for this at all. On top of it all, we were hungry, thirsty, and our bladders were full. There were no sidewalks for most of the trip, so we had to keep to the side and stay vigilant for cars. And even with light pollution and nearby buildings, I realized that night just how unnervingly dark a street with no street lights can get. People talk about liminal spaces on this site a lot, and I can tell you that entire night felt liminal.

Eventually we decided we needed to stop the first chance we got, and that came in the form of a gas station. Let me set the scene. It was on a corner, as gas stations tend to be. By this time we had made it to a small business district. There were definitely other buildings around, I think we even passed a Jack In The Box or similar establishment shortly before, but as I recall this, the gas station, the lot it was on, the road, and the cemetery (I’m not making this up) on the side of the road we were on all felt alone in an abyss of night.

I feel I should reiterate at this point exactly what we all looked like to set up this next part. Cat is 6 feet tall and mostly just looks like herself, but she is wearing a long, black leather trenchcoat. Cas and I are both roughly one foot shorter. We’re both painted grey and have yellow-orange horns on our heads. And Cas has his face painted white over the grey in a clown-makeup patter. Oh, and he has deep purple claw marks painted on over that. We’ve been walking for a while and we’ve been through some shit tonight, so we look a little disheveled. Did I mention we’re approaching out of the dark from the direction of a cemetery?

We cross the road, relieved that all the lights are on and it looks like we’re going to get to use the bathroom and have a little snack to keep us going for the last leg of the journey. We cross the lot and go and into the store, only to find… No one is there.

“Hello?” We call out. “Is anyone here? Are you open?”

From the back hallway we hear some movement, and out come two young adults, a man and a woman, probably only a year or two older than us. If I remember right, one of them was holding a broom. Fear was plain on their faces.

“Y’all scared us!” They said.

Oh my god… they thought we were demons.

We quickly apologized and asked if they had a bathroom. They were too stunned at first to really register what we were asking for, and just kept prodding us with questions. “What’re y’all doin out here?” “Is your skin really grey????” “Why are you dressed like that?”

We did our best to answer quickly and politely, but Cas and I were nearly bursting at this point, so we reiterated that a bathroom was urgently needed. They showed us the one bathroom in the place. It was small, and cramped, and the “door” was basically a piece of plywood you had to pick up and slide out of the way, which technically had a functioning lock… in theory at least. We did our business quickly, me first and then Cas, and while one relieved themselves, the other two stayed out and talked to the workers, trying our best to calm them down and assure them that no, we aren’t actually demons, they’re just costumes, there’s a convention in town.

We finished up, got our snacks (I think I got a snickers bar and a cherry pepsi), and then went on our way. We got back to Cat’s place without much more fuss and promptly passed out. The next morning we still got up and cosplayed for the last day of the convention. Cas’s horns broke, and we spent the last of our time at the con hanging out with some other homestucks who tried (to no avail) to help us fix them.

Then Cas and I went back to his place, we packed our stuff, and then he went back up to Illinois with me for a little less than a week. We started dating that summer. It’s been almost two and a half years since that weekend and we just got married at the end of October.

And that’s one of the best stories of my friends that I have.

I am so sorry this couldn’t have been shorter. Thank you for the ask!

[thewadapan]

Cowboy

(I wrote a short story for the Homestuck Discord’s first writing contest. This is where I’d put a content warning, but if I’m any more specific I’ll spoil it, so consider this a warning of its own.)

Mad Joey had never been much good at naming things. He was good at cards, and drinking large quantities of terrible lager, and had quite the uncanny ability to walk more than ten feet on his hands alone - but whenever he was asked to name something, he’d just pick the first thing that came into his head. On his tenth birthday, his mother had bought him a cat, which he’d named “Kitty” - it had ended up dying a couple of months later, in an unfortunate accident involving a litter tray and a lighter. His mother had herself died only a few months after that, coincidentally in another incident involving a lighter - although, in this case, it had not been a litter tray, but rather several gallons of petrol.

The name “Mad Joey” had been his own invention, too. All of his friends (well, both of them) agreed that it was a terrible name: Joey was not mad - so they argued - just a bit of a prick.

Despite the fact that he’d been riding on it for almost two whole days, Mad Joey’s workhorse had yet to receive a name of its own. It was a tired thing, propelled along by four spindly legs which somehow managed to transmit each and every undulation of the ground beneath up through the worn saddle and straight into Mad Joey’s ass - even though not one of its legs touched the floor. The workhorse’s repulsor technology worked fine on the level roads found on the core planets, where remaining a fixed difference above the ground made for a relatively smooth ride. Here in the outer reaches, however, its lack of suspension was sorely felt.

“Piece o’ shit,” Mad Joey muttered, thinking that’d make a fine name for his steed.

Glancing back through the thick cloud of fine smoke being kicked up behind his vehicle, Mad Joey could see the faint outline of his pursuer’s speeder - noticeably bigger than the last time he’d looked. He was losing ground.

Searing pain shot through Mad Joey’s arm, the product of a harpoon fired by the pilot of the craft behind. “Fuck!” he yelled as he let go of the reins and tried to pull it free. “Son of a bitch!” It was no use. The cable was already taut; he found himself being dragged from the craft, face-planting into the dust below and rolling to a stop.

By the time he’d recovered, the other speeder had come to a stop. He ignored it and remained where he was on the windswept ground. With his good arm, he tore off his helmet. Though it stank something fierce, the air here was just about breathable - of course, it’d have to be, for what he was planning.

Mad Joey sat up, retrieved his flask from his suit, and took a long swig of the whiskey contained within. It tasted like piss, and he almost choked on it. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the speeder’s occupant climbed out and approached through the settling smoke. “A’ight mate, this has been a laugh, but enough’s enough,” a voice crackled from behind the mirrored glass of their helmet. “You gonna come quietly? I got a taser.”

Mad Joey laughed at that. He was busy stuffing a rag into the flask - a difficult task, with just one hand to work with, but not an impossible one. “Not a chance, partner,” he said, trying the word out for size.

“The fuck’s that voice you’re doing?”

Slowly, Mad Joey got to his feet. “Here’s how this is gonna go down,” he drawled. “You’re gonna turn around, get back in that speeder, and mosey the hell away from this dustball.”

His adversary took a step forward. “And why the fuck’s that?”

Mad Joey gestured around expansively. “Gunpowder.”

“You what?”

After a moment’s hesitation, Mad Joey chose to repeat himself. “...Gunpowder.”

“Nah mate, I heard you, it’s just…” They trailed off, their helmet swivelling as they took in their surroundings - as if for the first time. “Wait, that’s what this shit is?”

In answer, Mad Joey brandished a lighter. This proved tricky, because his good hand already had a flask in it, but he managed.

“Naaah, that’s fuckin’ batty. The whole planet’s made of this shit. How the fuck would a rock like this even form?” They shook their head. “This is why you’re doing all cowboy shit, innit?”

“Ah’m gonna blow this whole place sky high,” Mad Joey said, “go out in a blaze o’ glory.” His bad arm was stinging like a bitch. His good hand was shaking. “They’ll see the blast from the central planets.”

The lawperson looked around again, one hand raised to their helmet to shield their eyes. It was almost midday, and the sun bore down brightly. “No, they won’t - there won’t be any blast, mate, the wind’ll put it out.”

Mad Joey faltered. “Reckon it’ll be enough to take the both of us out, at least.” He looked down at the cable dangling from his arm. It was like a lasso, he thought. “Get outta here. Tell ‘em Mad Joey won, tell ‘em he burned his way into hell.”

“You didn’t win shit,” they snorted - forcing a burst of static out through the speakers in their suit. “They had the fires out in like, ten minutes - fire service’s a lot better than it used to be. They literally only want you for wasting everyone’s time.” They advanced, arms spread wide - but Mad Joey raised the lighter, and they froze. “This is fucking daft,” they pressed. “Mate, look, I dunno who you are, I dunno how you found this rock, but you gotta admit this is a bit much.”

Mad Joey looked away, and his gaze fell upon the workhorse, which had crashed into a nearby dune and now rested with all four legs pointing in the air. “I killed my mu- mom,” he stuttered. “I burned the house down with her in it, ‘cause she was a bitch, and nobody knew I did it.”

“You…” The lawperson reached up with both hands and removed their helmet. From beneath the mirrored glass, Mad Joey saw a face emerge which was a faint reflection of his own - older, with bleached-blonde hair - and heard a distantly familiar voice. “...Joel?”

“Mum,” said Mad Joey. He staggered forward, dropping the lighter and the flask. They fell into the gunpowder, which didn’t ignite.

“I didn’t even recognise you,” she said, tears running down her cheeks. “You look like shit. Also, you were talking in a fucking cowboy voice, you twat.”

“I just thought it’d be cool,” sobbed Mad Joey. “Cowboys are so fucking cool, Mum,” he bawled.

“Shh,” Joel’s mother said, drawing him into a hug. “You don’t have to be a cowboy to be cool.”

“I know, Mum, I’m so sorry-”

“-No, I’m sorry,” she said, squeezing him tighter. “I’m sorry I was such a shit mum. After- after the fire- after I’d thought you died- I tried to sort my shit out, really.”

“You did, Mum,” said Mad Joey. “You’re a fuckin’ police lady. That’s cool as shit.” After a couple of moments, he pushed her away slightly. “Watch this,” he said, taking a couple of steps back. He sucked in a deep breath, then quickly bent over forwards, flipping up so that he was standing on his hands. Unfortunately, one of his arms still had a harpoon sticking out of it, and it gave way instantly - sending him crashing into the dust with a shriek. “Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!”

“I-” started his mother, not really sure what she’d just witnessed.

“Nah, nah, I’m all- fuck! I’m- I’m all right. Fuck. Was just… I can do this cool thing, where I walk on my hands, y’know.”

“I know,” she nodded, not knowing. She knelt down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry I shot you - we’ll get you to a hospital or something, get it looked at, yeah?”

“Are- are you gonna arrest me?” asked Mad Joey, haltingly.

His mother nodded again. “You did crimes, Joel. I’m sorry.” She reached into a compartment in her suit and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. “I know I’m your mum, but crimes are against the law.”

“Yeah, okay.” Mad Joey wiped the tears from his eyes, before holding out his hands. Once the handcuffs were on, his mother helped him into the speeder, and - as they flew away - he stared down at the planet of gunpowder in pensive thought. After thinking for a while, he spoke up. “Mum… now that we’re up here… do you wanna set the gunpowder off?”

She turned around in the driver’s seat. “Haven’t you burnt enough things today?”

Joel supposed he had.

Commentary

The Homestuck Discord got a new #writing channel towards the end of December, last year, after a survey in which a few users requested one. For some reason I didn’t post there until over a month later, but - as the amount of time I spent in the server increased - I found myself growing fairly invested in the channel. See, it’s always struggled a lot in terms of activity - often playing host to one or two short conversations, if that - and, as it was introduced on an experimental basis, it’s always in danger of being archived.

This isn’t really the place to examine the channel in detail. What I will say is that perhaps its most important role is to provide a place for people to shill their own writing, where it would otherwise be buried in #general or laughed out of #mspa-lit.

I’m pretty sure I was the first person to meaningfully suggest doing a #writing contest, all the way back towards the end of February: “could be a two-week contest with a decent prompt, where idk the winning story gets posted in #shilling or something”. It wasn’t until after spiral became the art-cosplay pseudo moderator that anything came of this - only instead of one prompt, there was to be four, and instead of a #shilling post being the prize a couple of the server’s resident artists offered to grant a free commission to each of the winners.

Determined to put my money where my mouth was, I got right to work on my own entry. First, I had to pick from the prompts:

DIALOGUE PROMPT: "You don't want to live in a society like this, yet you don't want to do anything about it!"

ART PROMPT: “Chilly Night” by Martyna "Marcia" Chmielewska

SETTING PROMPT: A vast, barren planet devoid of most resources except one rare mineral.

SENTENCE PROMPT: In the ballroom, full of swishing skirts and duplicity, there was one thing left unaccounted for.

I was sorely tempted by the “we live in a society” prompt, but didn’t think it’d be possible to incorporate it naturally into a piece.

(As it happened, a few people did choose that prompt, and I was pleasantly surprised by how effectively they used the line.)

In the end, I settled on the one which fell within my own comfort zone - the setting prompt. I remembered seeing a post by Drew Linky which mentioned “nitroglycerin”, and - even if it didn’t quite fit the spirit of the prompt - I couldn’t get the idea of a planet made entirely of explosives out of my head. So I ran with it.

I did a bit of research into what large amounts of dynamite looked like when they exploded - by which I mean I watched some random YouTube video - and decided that gunpowder would be a much more evocative substance to make a planet from; it’d look like black sand.

The thing that I found most rewarding when writing this story was that each new idea felt like a natural progression from the last. Gunpowder evoked Western stories, so I decided to present the story as a standard Western - only to pull the rug out from under the reader as the description of the “workhorse” progresses and it becomes apparent that the story’s set in place. I wanted to have an outlaw and a sheriff of sorts, and they needed to be on the planet for a reason.

You can probably guess how the story’s opening line came about. I was staring at a brand new Google Doc and wanted to give it a title, and went with the first thing that came into my head: “Cowboy”. To get myself in the mood, I wound up reading some article about gambling in the Old West (effectively none of which made its way into the story). All of the little details and anecdotes in the first couple of paragraphs were pulled pretty much from thin air; I very much wrote this story by the seat of my pants, rarely stopping to go back and edit or to plan ahead, so in retrospect I’m pretty pleased with the extent to which I was able to incorporate them into the story’s climax.

The idea that Joey’s workhorse has no suspension was probably inspired on a subconscious level by the scooter which I used to ride as a kid. It had solid wheels, which meant you felt every bump in the road. Boy, that thing was fun. The ground’s described as having undulations, by which I meant the wavy patterns left in wind-swept sand; the fact that the planet’s windy is important, as it’s later stated that Mad Joey probably won’t be able to spread a fire across its whole surface.

I liked the idea that the workhorse was kicking up a big cloud of gunpowder as it went - kinda like those ships in The Last Jedi - which seemed to mirror the semi-literal trail of smoke which Mad Joey had been leaving all his life. Speaking of things inspired by sci-fi, didn’t somebody get a harpoon through a limb in Firefly? I had a specific image in my head when I wrote that scene, but I’ve forgotten where exactly it was from.

The line about the air being breathable plants the idea that he’s planning to set something on fire - of course, by then, we already know he’s capable of arson.

I probably only included the beat about whiskey because of the infamous “pass the whiskey” voice line from Fistful of Frags, which I’d briefly played a month or so prior to writing the story. From there, the idea that he’d make a kind of Molotov cocktail using the whiskey was a natural step - see what I mean about this story writing itself?

It’s around this point that the dialogue kicks in. When I wrote this story, I’d been working on “The Beast Within (My Pants)” for a good couple of months, and I quickly found myself slipping into the abrasive cartoonishly-British voice I’d used for many of those characters. Mad Joey himself speaks with my own poor impression of a cowboy, which seemed about right. In all honesty, I’m not sure how well the conversation comes off. My goal was to juxtapose the absurdity of many of the lines against the fact that Mad Joey is getting talked down from the edge, so to speak.

I found myself tripping over the fact that I hadn’t established a gender to his pursuant - I’d given them an opaque helmet and described them in ambiguous terms to keep my options open. In reality, this effectively shut down other avenues for the story’s resolution, because - in terms of economy of narrative - I had to provide some kind of payoff. Glancing back at the beginning of the story told me that I had only one option - Mad Joey was being chased by none other than his own mother. I felt like this was an effective twist because her dialogue seems pretty... laddish? It also generally seems to fit the themes of contrivance and absurdity I’d established with, y’know, a planet made of gunpowder.

The turning point occurs around the time that Mad Joey looks at the workhorse and sees it lying dead on the ground. You see him almost drop his persona in the line “I killed my mu- mom”; he soon drops the drawl entirely.

After the twist is revealed, the dissonance ramps up to eleven. I’m particularly happy with the exchange “Cowboys are so fucking cool, mum” / “Shh. You don’t have to be a cowboy to be cool.” Also,  “You did crimes, Joel. I’m sorry. I know I’m your mum, but crimes are against the law.” Something I’ve always found is that, in real life, emotionally-charged moments like this are often very ugly things, where the things people say would seem very strange to an outsider. Mad Joey’s attempt to walk on his hands serves to emphasise this theme.

In terms of the story’s main theme, it’s... kind of a story about shilling? Or at least, within the context of #writing itself, it’s about doing things you don’t really want to do just for the sake of being known, of having people pay attention to you. Ultimately, the story presents this as something harmful - it almost leads to Mad Joey’s oblivion - and says that resolution comes from people who already care as opposed to the nebulously-defined world at large.

I paid a fair bit of attention to the presentation of the story, because I wanted to draw people into it. Once I’d written it, I deliberately cut it down until it fit on four pages instead of four-and-a-bit; I thought people’d be more inclined to read a four-page story than a five-page one. I’ve been trying to minimise my use of italics for a while now - it’s a crutch, and it causes trouble when copying text around - which I suppose would hypothetically make it easier for people to post quotes in Discord without having to mess around adding markdown back in. There are a couple of places where I had no choice but to use italics, but for the most part I think this was a successful effort.

The plan, once I’d drawn readers in, was to challenge them. The use of profanity is excessive. The story’s central conceit doesn’t make a lot of sense. The twist is contrived. The ending doesn’t quite feel complete. Like Mad Joey’s own persona, this was, to a certain extent, an attention-seeking stunt. Why, then, was this story met with abject silence?

See, #writing is slow enough that most of its users see everything that happens there. A lot of other stories got feedback of some kind. If you think I’m going somewhere with this, I’m not - I was genuinely quite perplexed by this response, and still am. Oh well. The three winning entries all turned out to be genuinely better than my own - which I was glad for, because the thought of this piece o’ shit being the best thing the Homestuck Discord could muster is pretty depressing.

Speaking of depressing, the second contest is in a very strange limbo at the moment, having received only a handful of entries and having provoked little to no discussion. I’ve been pretty busy working on other stuff, and wasn’t too fussed on the prompts, so I guess I’m at least partially to blame for that. Hopefully the channel will flourish a little more in the future...

If you enjoyed this story, you might enjoy the short stories I wrote for the r/WritingPrompts subreddit a couple of years ago, which can be found under the header What Our Future Looks Like on the list of things I made. Some of them are pretty ropey, so read at your own risk! In terms of my longer works, I recommend checking out Retrace Steps.

See you space cowboy...

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi, Meat p6 reaction

I gotta say, snatching people from the Game Over timeline was a good way to invest us back into these characters. Plus, unlike the post-canon selves, they don't have 'certain victory' all written over them - by which I mean that I think it's unlikely they would be killed outside Universe C, since its existence and their ability to live in it was their Ultimate Reward. Admittedly, the planet they've inherited is less than ideal, but that was never stipulated in the rules.

Meanwhile, John himself with his retcon powers remains more earthed in the plot, also because this was the timeline he originated from in the first place. Still unsure how the fact there's 1 John but 2 versions of his selves will get resolved though.

I kind of doubt the New Game Plus versions (Cosmic Reset? still unsure on what to call them) are going to be joining their adult selves in Universe C, though the idea of the post-canon selves serving as guardians amuses me. I also doubt the NGP's are going to create their own timeline in Universe C to inhabit, with John joining them after 7 years. They would be deprived of 7 years of John, and even though he mostly kept to himself in the post-canon timeline, that would kind of suck, and not even Dirk creating an Autoresponder for John could bridge the time difference adequately. So, I figure they might just pick up one of the spare teen Johns (or rather, export one from the timeline, just like how John is now duplicating the Game Over selves). Maybe the one (John) that John sent to LOWAS when he went back to consult Terezi.

... Hmm, after seeing Blaperile checking out the Load Game & Save Game links on Homestuck, I think I've decided to call this new timeline the Reload timeline!! :D

Anyway, I suppose we're in for a perspective switch back to John now, and indeed like I said previously, I think LOLAR is the most likely candidate. It wouldn't feel entirely right for John to leave Rose hanging for now in favour of, say, fetching Dirk first.

---

"The sky is really blue. But it’s a different kind of blue than Earth C’s sky; it’s less, somehow, like someone took a photo of the sky and turned the contrast down a little, just enough to make the clouds blend into the horizon." ... This is Andrew Hussie criticizing his own art, isn't it? Hahah! This must be LOLAR, so I guess it's back to John now, since we're in Command Prompt Land again.

"That is to say, it isn’t the kind of sky promised by a paradise planet. Just an ordinary one." Oh sure, that's the in-story explanation: it lacks promise.

"You realize suddenly how much you’ve missed the ordinary, as opposed to the supposedly perfect." Oooh, heheh, guess John got bored by the idyllic parts of Earth C.

"You’ve been away from home almost as many years as you lived there. It’s not just the sky. Everything else is exactly and nothing like you remembered it: the scent of damp grass, the quality of the air, the solitude." Wait what? John went back to Earth?? What plot point could he mess up there without messing up the events leading up to the Reload timeline? ... Has he travelled back to his own atmospheric page? Since he says he's "home", it isn't the exile's future or Dirk and Roxy's. Guess it'll be either John's actual home or Jane's, but... What could he do here that wouldn't mess up the timeline?? ... Steal Jane's Dad just before she Enters? No, wait, she tried to follow him around on LOCAH...

Yeah, Blaperile's correct in that if he sees his Dad, he'll be very sad.

"A woodpecker raps away incessantly at the tree with the tire swing outside your old bedroom window." XDSFSFSF, so it's really his home, in the past! ... I would rather like him to visit his Dad's past, but I doubt we'll ever see his childhood. Still, what could Rose have sent him here to retrieve?

"You couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, so you and your little army are sitting in a circle in your old backyard exactly one week before the meteors hit." Hopy shit, he didn't zap them to blankspace???? Hah, I guess John's at school and Dad's at work. And the neighbours... Well, the suburb might be deserted during office hours, actually. Would be funny if in the background, an elder crazy cat lady is seen ogling them from behind her curtains, or something.

Wow, okay, so, in case he's already went and fetched... everyone of the B1 and B2 kids, and his "little army" is complete, this must be a time skip! That must've been an awkward meeting altogether! Welp, so much for the conversation with Terezi, and seeing Karkat & Kanaya's response (in case he fetched Jane right about the time she was on LOFAF).

"It’s you, Rose, Dave, Jade, and all four of your teenage progenitors, each dressed in god tier garb. No trolls. No one who can die" Yep... Guess, like some of the platform conversations, as well as the LOMAX ones, we'll just have to imagine all the fluff. It's the Meat path for a reason, after all. We're jumping straight to the Meat of the rest of the "meat-up". :mspa:

"No one who can die from anything less than a heroic sacrifice. At least, this is what you assume to be the reasoning for Rose’s instructions to assemble your party this way." Well, Rose might have had a Light vision showing only they went to confront Caliborn, so then this is just self-fullfilling prophecy. Guess we're left with the idea that, in the abandoned session, everything might still have gone to shit, if no-one of these kids came back. We know how the confrontation between Aranea and )(IC went, and how the trolls fared against them all. Eeesh, I hope that's not the fate in store for these versions of Terezi, Kanaya and Karkat. One Game Over death for them was enough.

"Wind slices down the street, between the neat rows of bungalows. It’s chilly, carrying air from the mountaintops with it. Even that feels different. The wind moves through you now, under your skin and right into your bones, skimming their hollows the same way it does the homes of your salamander neighbors, or the open mailbox in front of your childhood house." The wind still skims the void, but the boy is part of the wind now. Hey, I didn't know of the mountains near John's home. Are they in the direction of Pipe lake?

"The smell of a cake baking wafts from the open window and the sick stench of browning sugar fills the yard. You used to hate that too, but now it makes you want to—" ... PFffff, so Dad IS home. Unless he put a cake in the oven and put a timer on, we know he owns a timer. Now I picture Dad seeing a bunch of people in coloured pyjamas in his yard and immediately putting a cake on. Those poor, homeless clowns deserve some real food after all. :mspa:

"> Dude, don’t cry in front of all the cool teen versions of your friends.

You hold back your tears with a big, ugly snort." Aww... I actually thought he wanted to just run in and hug his Dad, actually. But this...

"Jake is sort of ruining the mood anyway by bouncing away on your old Green Slime pogo. Doesn’t he realize how dangerous that thing is? Of course not. The fool." Jake, stop, what are you doing. Behave yourself, man! It's like he's a goddamned empty-headed consort.

"Dave fractures the silence by broaching a subject that’s on everyone’s mind but yours, apparently." Why he's an adult now?

"DAVE: so whats gonna happen to everyone we left in the wrecked time line" ... How thoughtful, actually. I mean, John can't just dismiss them as irrelevant. No matter the actual state of the timeline and their relevance to the ending, Kanaya's Rose's girlfriend, Terezi is Dave's ex, Karkat is still John's buddy and the mayor is the mayor! The other dudes, PM and the villains, as well as the sprites though, are less relevant to this party. Hope John doesn't say the timeline has vanished into the void by now, like Alt Future Dave's.

"JOHN: uh, well. JOHN: i don’t know actually. i’ve been to that time line four times now and it always pretty much goes to shit." It also happens to be your timeline. So, what does he count as his separate appearances in the timeline, then? He appeared in Dave's room, out in LOHAC, on LOFAF, on Derse, went back to LOHAC, appeared after Game Over, zapped back to meet with Terezi, and now he's zapped back to retrieve everyone! Maybe he's taking some of those appearances as a single one. Like the original Game Over is one, Reload is two, and then some other times?

"DAVE: oh ROSE: This has been bothering me as well. Is Kanaya going to be ok? ROSE: And by Kanaya, I guess I mean... everyone?" I knew it. ... Can Kanaya be a euphemism for everyone from now on? :mspa:

"DAVE: yeah what about karkat DAVE: and terezi DAVE: and the MAYOR?? JADE: oh my god!!!!! DAVE: what JADE: actually dave, i hate to say it but... JADE: i think john might have actually saved the mayor by bringing us all here?" Okay, Jade is indeed fine again. Hey, yeah, she was about to threaten the mayor to get Dave to cooperate, wasn't she? Ooooh, this marks it, this is the first time every B1 kid was featured in the same conversation. What a unique accomplishment!

"DAVE: jade that is seriously uncool JADE: i KNOW! JADE: i was gonna kick him right into the lava! DAVE: that is fucked up on so many levels i dont even know where to begin DAVE: its like an escher staircase of cartoon villainy" Yes, Grimbark Jade wasn't all bark! But her idea of villainy was childish on some levels still, because that's just what she's like!

"DAVE: i got nothing DAVE: its so DAVE: so... JADE: grimbark? :B woof woof DAVE: jesus no jade its stone cold evil DAVE: i cant believe you just said that shit and then woofed at me DAVE: i cant DAVE: i cant even look at you right now" Yes, Dave was really attached to the mayor in this timeline, even more so than in the final timeline leading to Universe C. But uh, welp, I hope this doesn't cause any fractures! We got to remember, they aren't in the best place here, emotionally. All of them still have all these unresolved psychological issues, more so than the post-canon selves.

"JOHN: uh, everyone, can we...

Everyone turns to look at you immediately, like you’re an authority. Which you kind of are." Yes, John, you can't bring a group of teenagers together as an adult without knowing something about handling emotional outbursts. Face it... You're a dad now. :P Or at least a big brother.

"You are struck with the sudden and uncomfortable realization that you are the only adult in the yard. You’ve never felt like an adult until this moment. Eighteen came and went and nothing really changed except that you’re pretty certain you could grow a bitchin’ mustache now if you wanted." That's just how it is, you feel like the same vaguely irresponsible person until you are trust back into a group of people where the age difference is felt the hardest. And heheh, now I'm reminded of Davesprite's note impersonating Dad, chiding John about growing facial hair in his absence. :P

"And you might even have one by now, if you didn’t feel a sense of duty to uphold the sacred Egbert family tradition of shaving at least once per day, even if it isn’t really necessary. You owe at least that much to the memory of your departed father." Aww.

"JOHN: let’s chill out for a minute. i’m sure this is all very confusing to all of you. JOHN: about the time line you’re leaving behind... yeah, i get it. it’s weird. JOHN: i’ve already left one major time line behind. well, two if you count the one i just came from, where we’re all adults. JOHN: the truth is, i have no idea what happens to these time lines and all the people living in them, when i just... zap out of them, to use my retcon powers to change stuff?" For doomed timelines it's simple: you either die and become a ghost, you go back to change the timeline, or you get erased when someone does the second thing. But for John's retconned timelines, yeah, it's not as clear. If it doesn't work like with doomed timelines, there's already a bunch of duplicate timelines out there with associated ghosts in the dreambubbles. Meaning a lot of new confused human ghosts, which we haven't seen anything of until now. I wonder, dead or alive, if any of these duplicates will be brought up again. Well, besides a John like I've already theorized.

"JOHN: they might stop existing completely. i don’t know. JOHN: the thing is, we can’t really think about it. JOHN: it’s tough, but if we’re all acting like heroes here, and trying to do the right thing, then we have to put it all behind us. JOHN: it’s a sacrifice we’re making. JOHN: i mean, we’re risking our lives by fighting a powerful monster, sure." This would be a rousing speech if you weren't the one to have kidnapped them. And, seeing as you're an adult and they're teens, kidnap is still the right word here. Can't wait to hear input from the B2 kids about this, actually. Dirk could blow all John's arguments of the table in a heartbeat, actually. Heheh. HEARTbeat.

"JOHN: but the sacrifice i’m talking about... is saying goodbye to the life we thought we belonged to, and all the people in it. JOHN: probably forever. JOHN: it sucks, and i’m sorry i had to ask this of you all. JOHN: but there’s no other way. JOHN: everyone who has ever existed, and will ever exist, is counting on us... i think? JOHN: so... JOHN: yeah.

> Shrug." So on the one hand, John acknowledges he might have left Earth C forgood, but on the other hand he saw it as a goodbye, not a farewell. Still, he's right to address the threat Lord English poses to Paradox Space as well as the continued existence of the universes inside Genesis Frogs. I mean, the continued existence without threat of annihilation by a time travelling mobster.

"It’s all you can think to do to punctuate your speech of lukewarm inspirational value. Judging from the confused looks from the others, all of them may share your assessment of your own oratorical skills, except for one person. She’s perked up at your spiel, regarding you with alert and admiring eyes." Boyfriend material, isn't he, Roxy? :P Yeah, how's John going to take this rehash of their first meeting. It's one thing to long back to a moment, but to revisit it, him an adult and she a teen? Awwwwkwwwwaaaard.

"ROXY: that was a fine ass speech and idk if i speak for the rest of my peeps here but im fuckin psyched ROXY: lets do this shit" Well yeah, Roxy did have her shit together the best out of everyone. She overcame her character flaw (the drinking) on her own.

"She *wonks* at you." Her typos transcend media.

" JOHN: uh.

You weren’t prepared to get passively hit on by the Definitely Not Legal version of a girl you used to have a crush on at the age she was when you first met her, only a few hours after you watched the Actually Legal version of her engage in passionate hand-holding with her possibly aromantic skeleton alien monster girlfriend. You start to sweat, and again the unwelcome odor of undercooked meat emanating from your body makes itself known to your nose." Of course Roxy is more okay to hit on him, see her Dad crush. Meanwhile, John has all this *history* he's thinking about. Also, he might actually don't want to interfere with the "whatever" that is Roxy/Calliope! That would be sportive of him, if it were true. Lastly, how many times is the meat-odored sweat going to remind John which path he's in, hahah. ... Is it the same in the Candy path, some sickening sweet smell sticking to him? Crumbs of sugar in his hair?

"You quickly distance your mind from any additional discomfiting thoughts about your old and semi-ex flame, and propel yourself into a wildly unrehearsed tactical planning session. You review each of your abilities, strengths, and weaknesses, and then cobble together a reasonably sound approach to besieging a young and bratty version of Lord English by way of surprise attack. The planning is mostly disorganized and structureless, although some common themes that often recur involve you and your original three friends leading the charge, since you are the oldest and wisest, and therefore the strongest, with the exception of Jade, whose gaudy array of powers make her the most formidable of the group, bar none. Aside from that, it appears the consensus is that the melee will likely devolve into an absolute free-for-all—at least going by the general patterns of incoherent banter, shit-talking, and points of pedantic tactical disagreement plaguing the jam session. You overhear someone making mention of... a huge, gay hope bubble? That can’t be right, but you didn’t catch who said it. A flamboyant pink spell? Yeah, this conversation is off the rails now." Yeah, these guys were never good at the finesses of planning things out. Partially due to their teen problems, but in the final timeline before Collide, they weren't really planning anything either beyond deciding how to split up. ... How and where did the Hope and Heart powers of Jake and Dirk become known to the B2 kids, though? Did John whisk them away at a later point in their timeline, after Brain Ghost Dirk had already manifested and Jake was killed once by Aranea? Oh, and only by rereading do I understand John designated himself as the oldest and wisest and strongest barring Jade, I thought he meant all four B1 kids, that couldn't be right.

"At the precise moment you believe the meeting has outlasted its usefulness, Jake does you the favor of effectively pounding the gavel for adjournment by rocking back a bit too far on your lawn pogo and launching himself over the top of the ride on the next bounce. He face-plants right into the dirt." Still the cosmic butt monkey then. Gotta love the juxtaposition with his more 'mature' version on the previous page. Also, maybe Blaperile is right and the Hope & Heart powers were speculated on, not actually witnessed. Unless Rose had a Light epiphany.

"Dirk goes to help your yard clean the Jake off its dirt." ... Yes. That is definitely a thing that can be really happening.

"Jade follows, to help out. It seems she wants to chat with Jake, considering it’s the first time they’ve met, from her perspective. Some eruptions of chatter can be heard from other members of the group." Aww, okay, it's time for a platform conversation parallel. Who'll approach John then, Roxy? But Rose would want to talk to her at some point, too.

"It’s easy to forget, since the reunion between your friends and all your young relatives happened so long ago from your point of view, but this is all quite novel to everyone here. They’ve hardly had a moment to process it, since your plan to drag them all off to fight Lord English has understandably stolen the thunder of an otherwise poignant homecoming. Poor kids, you think." Wow, this alienation is really something. It must be jarring to experience some shit for the semi-second time, seeing people with baggage that, from your perspective, they've already cast aside.

"You decide to give the teens some space to work through their shit before you take off to save the universe." Off screen reunion time! But where will John head to?

"You end up wandering all the way around to the other side of your house," Is he going to meet Dad by accident? Or at least watch him from a distance? I figured he couldn't do much in the yard without being noticed if Dad was home, but maybe I was wrong. I like Blaperile's idea that John will leave him a note. He could forge one, making it look like Nanna wrote it, actually. ... Or maybe he will write something his teen self wouldn't know how to put into words, yet...

"Your dad’s sitting right there, smoking his pipe and operating his professional-looking, boring, gray PDA. He’s got the kitchen timer set up on his desk, and you can hear the notes of his favorite fatherly jazz album filtering out through the window, which is open only an inch." Oh, so Dad is home!! Guess he was to engrossed in his interests to notice anything amiss, and John was ignorant of his Dad's actions that day, apparently. ... No mention of the Crosbytop, but then that might have been too silly for this emotional moment. Poor John. He won't be able to contact him without messing up the timeline, and anything less than direct contact (a note, PDA message) might ring hollow in his ears too. It's sad to think, but there's no saving his Dad, not without creating another timeline, and that might have unforeseen consequences. But John might still have thought about it, or start thinking about it. Unless he feels that doing so would rob the event of importance, plus that he would start feeling obligated to save everyone's loved ones once he started. His Dad raised him better than to be so self-centered!

"The sun is hitting the glass in such a way that you can’t see his face." Oh, he's facing the window? I thought he was sitting behind the desk, but apparently he was somewhere else, near the grammophone, perhaps. Also, featureless guardian, that never stopped being a thing!

"> This is probably the last time you’ll ever have the chance to talk to him...

The urge is overwhelming. But you can’t, and not just because your feet won’t move and your throat is closing up. It’s just that... it would be a really bad idea to bother him. It would totally freak him out, to have an adult version of his son show up out of the blue and knock on his window like a creep. He probably wouldn’t even recognize you."

:/ True enough.

But John didn't think about rewriting the timeline to save him so much as how his immediate action would be responded to in the moment.

"> Fair enough. It’s time to go, John." The narrative prompts are a lot more lenient and respectful than in Homestuck proper.

"You return to the backyard. Your teen friends have split off into genetically segmented groups: Roxy and Rose sitting in the grass, Jade and your shared ecto-parents laughing together by the Green Slime pogo, and the Striders leaning against the farthest fence, with a tense foot and a half of space between them. It’s heartwarming." I think the Strider conversation is going about as good as on LOPAK. Hopefully even smoother, because the original took a while to get going.

Though it must be a tad painful for John to watch all this unfold, seeing as he can't have the reunion he so desires.

"But something doesn’t feel right about it to you, possibly for selfish reasons. It’s the selfishness of your own perspective, of wanting the memories you had of the reunion between all these people to be the most notable and legitimate manifestation of this event. To see the moment echo, or play out all over again, to overhear the heartfelt confessions repeat themselves... It feels cheap. To you, that is. To the man who lived through it all before and selfishly doesn’t want to have the memory tarnished with a tawdry reprisal" Yeah, John was hoping that lending them legitimacy through the retcon would improve on the conversations being had. And his memory of the event he experienced was already so gilded, his expectations were sky-high in this regard. ... I feel like the narration might be acknowledging the grown-up fans in this.

"You wonder. Do you see these teen versions of your friends as “real”? Are you treating them, at Rose’s behest, as simple puppets? Doing your part to insist they fill friend-shaped recesses in an essential plan to stabilize all else that can be considered important, a distinction no longer applying to them? Do you care at all about whatever fate it may be that you are sentencing these children to? Are you becoming as complicit in the fatalistic evils of Paradox Space as Lord English himself? Are you becoming a monster, John Egbert?" These are good questions for John to have. Because for him to not have qualms, he would be the monster he fears to become. John has to open his heart to them. Blaperile has a good point though, John might have felt this alienated from the post-canon versions of his friends too, whether he realizes it or not. That could explain him losing touch with them. But yeah. He's here now, adult or not. He's got to make due, and see if he can't reconnect with either version of his friends. He'll become a better friend for it.

John never had a problem with meeting another version of himself like the other kids had, but maybe it was all along because that kind of existential crisis is only caused in him through meeting people he should love but feels alienated from: Dad, these versions of his friends, all the ghosts in the dreambubbles...

"JOHN: uh, hey kids... ROSE: Please, Adult John, don’t do that." Oh hell yes. Better nip that denominator in the bud, Rose. (Heh, Rosebud.)

"It’s obvious that she’s trying very hard to hide her apprehension. ROSE: Is it time to go? JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean... JOHN: no, if you want to be technical. i can zap us in wherever, whenever. we have all the time in the universe if we want it. ROSE: But if we don’t leave now, you’re afraid we never will? JOHN: heh."

I love how in-tune Rose and John are, no matter how much time and space has separated them.

"JOHN: i guess it’s true that people don’t really change. they just grow up?

Rose gives Roxy a strange look, appearing to silently acknowledge an entire conversation that has been taking place, using a great volume of words that aren’t being spoken." Heh, Rose and Roxy's conversation on the platform was about their moms and how different or not the other was to that person. I take it their conversation went in the same direction this time around. I think John's response is just more proof to the veracity of the claim. Also, more proof on the pile of the ultimate self, on the side, actually. The idea being kind of like, they're the same person but different due to the circumstance.

" ROSE: I guess.

She smiles." Also, for Rose it must be nice to see the boy she knew still lives inside the man she doesn't know yet.

"> Get the show on the road. JOHN: okay everyone... i’ve never zapped this many people before so let’s all just... JOHN: uh, hold hands, maybe? in a circle, i mean. that should work. DAVE: god this is so lame JADE: its not lame its perfect!!! DAVE: nah JOHN: shh! JOHN: alright. is everyone ready, then?" Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya. :P Dirk, Jake and Jane didn't get any lines yet, that'll be something for a later page. ... Hah, Blaperile has a good point. John zapped a planet away, twice! Why would this bother him now? :P

... Is the Masterpiece really up next, wow. (After a scene change to Universe C.)

"Only Jade says yes enthusiastically." God, I really missed simply happy Jade. We might still see her on Universe C, but it's with the knowledge she spent three years without any real sapient friends but Jaspersprite & Nannasprite.

"The last thing you hear before zapping away is your dad’s kitchen timer going off in his study." Time's up! Appropriate, if they're really going to confront Jake now.

I got to say, it would be very nice seeing the Masterpiece how it really happened, and not what Caliborn told us. I wonder what he lied about, if anything. It would seem noteworthy to mention John was an adult, but then again, humans might all look alike to cherubs. It's true that Arquiusprite wasn't mentioned on the character list, but I blaim it on Equius being Voided out, it's been a theme before. It's his aspect, the Expatriate's sign hid the cue ball from Doc Scratch' sight, Gamzee used Equius blood to erase himself from the tomb, and so on.

I also think there are odds that characters without dialogue are not mentioned on the character list, like WV. Though it would be weird for Equius/Arquiusprite to be the only troll without dialogue. Davepeta represents the Collide timeline's Nepeta, so that explains her absence from the list.

Still, it would need to be explained how Arquiusprite got there and from what timeline. My money is on him uploading himself through Lil' Seb.

... I thought of something. If we start from the assumption Caliborn's Earth is Earth C in the far future, and not put their by say Condy after Game Over, then logically Lil' Seb, Arquiusprite and Gamzee are all from the Collide timeline.

[blindrapture]

After the break, the remainder of this post will be Andrew Hussie’s newspost from 11/08/14. In it, he goes pretty in-depth about the symbolism and intent of Homestuck’s GAME OVER flash. I wanted to share this because it’s one of the most concise examples I can think of that stresses why I still think he’s goddamn lovely. It also contains his own rather clear declaration that he prefers Death Of The Author over Word Of God (”Now, since they can no longer depend on answers which I supply between horse jokes and snappy retorts, they are lost in the woods to fend for themselves against the wolves of dubious fanalysis.“), a sentiment which echoes darkly through the fandom these days. You could argue he pretty much spends most of the newspost trying to explain how to read the ending to come. And plus I can say this is a #ThrowbackFrihorse thing, even though it’s nowhere near Friday.

Spoilers ahead, those of you who have not yet finished reading Homestuck.

Andrew: There comes a time in every young Homestuck's life when they must face the fact that a notable comic author has swindled them into getting on a bus labeled "cool updates", only to swerve said bus off the highway and into a precipitous gulch of unmitigated sadstuck. But the old wives tale says that sadstuck was just a thing that happened in our fanfics, the bus children wailed. That's what they said about the tricksters too, a veteran child in the back replied. They said the tricksters would never see the light of canon, but where are the doubters now? Where are they now. Propping up six feet of dirt is where. The veteran child is weirding everybody out, so they stop looking at him, and turn to the driver. But the driver is now a spooky skeleton and the kids lose their shit. The skeleton head does a creepy 180, and speaks his scary curse. Heed me bus youths, for I am the ghost of future sadstuck. I have traveled back in time and am on a bus for some reason I guess, to punish you for your maudlin fics. For every time you murmured sadstuck while having a feeling, for every fic you pastebinned by candlelight, my curse has grown stronger, and my legend, dumber. Then the skeleton ran out of stuff to say, and looking a little embarrassed, turned around again to keep driving. Then he screamed once he remembered the bus was falling. Thanks for listening to my short story. We like to have a good time here at MS Paint Adventures, The Website. The gigaplay is off to a rocky start of unhewn feels. If your kerchief has become too soggy with tears from emotion, skeleton terror, or just plain admiration for my skill as a short story writer (can't blame you there), and you wish to lighten the mood, I recommend moseying over to Paradox Space, which is currently running a 24 page comic I have written about Crowbar. I am alert to the desires of readers every single day, and the one thing I hear them clamor for above all else, is more stories about CROWBAR. We want more content about Crowbar, RIGHT NOW, they say, and make that content consist of 24 beautifully illustrated comic pages, MINIMUM. I just give the people what they want. Fortunately, Homestuck's Premier Felt Fan #1 Jones was available to do a spectacular job of illustrating this comic. My rambling noir-style monologues have never before overlapped such lovely artwork. GOD TIER TALK! I don't answer Q's about Homestuck much anymore. It was a practice which I think used to be some people's lifeline for decoding the enigmatic runes of this story. Now, since they can no longer depend on answers which I supply between horse jokes and snappy retorts, they are lost in the woods to fend for themselves against the wolves of dubious fanalysis. Pulling the ripcord on the Homestuck machine again, combined with recent story events, makes me think something FAQQY may be in order. The thing is, when you make a big story, and allude to rules for a complicated system dictating mortality, people tend to REALLY, REALLY want to understand how it works. Speculation naturally fills the vacuum in lieu of concrete data. Theories are crafted. Headcanons, congealed. Then, when additional data is presented (DEAD KIDS), which happen to chafe with fanon constructs, feelings run ragged, and Bullshit is called. Then Bullshit shows up, and says, you rang? And the fanonistas say, yes Bullshit. Look at this mess. LOOK at it. This in NO WAY jives with my views on what constitutes heroism and justice. Bullshit nods sagely while lighting its pipe. Earlier in HS when god tier folk were more scarce, the story was more cagey about these verdicts. The Vriska ruling was presented as a close call, which maybe could have gone either way. Then Slick smacked the clock to Just before it could settle, leaving the true verdict ambiguous, and the 'moral debate' intact, so to speak. But now that there are a lot of god tiers running around, with the stakes raised and the body count piling up, the game (or, story) is starting to be more liberal with its rulings. As in, more likely to come down hard on Just, Heroic, or Neither verdicts without intervention or obfuscation, helping us better understand the boundaries of heroic and just action through example. Not necessarily by moral definitions, but as dictated by the rules of a game. So that turns the story guy (sometimes known as an "author") into something like a ref at a basketball game. He blows the whistle when he sees the basketball guy (the "baller") take a half step without bouncing the ball. The home team crowd does not detect the subtle violation and goes boooooo! Those homers can boo all they want, but you know, the guy is really just some bozo with a whistle. The rules are the rules! There's reason to think there is a nuanced scale ranging from Heroic to Just inside the clock. There may be many shades of justice and heroism, some forms just barely qualifying to seal one's fate. But there's nothing nuanced about Alive vs. Dead. The result of a coin flip is absolute, even though there may be many subtle factors contributing to which side it lands on. Such as whether the coin is pure of heart, and whether the table it lands on has ever killed a man. You get a sense for the nuance of the judgment when it comes to these "close calls", like with Vriska, or more recently, with Jade. In her case, she was subject to mind control when she racked up her misdeeds, which ordinarily would probably exempt her. But it wasn't ordinary mind control. More like flipping an "evil switch", removing her ethical filter, thereby letting he personality come through, and giving her license to act on impulses which she'd ordinarily suppress. So this gives the clock something to work with. Still, her behavior is compromised, so it's by no means a slam dunk. (BASKET BALL! that is still the metaphor.) So it's very close, and perhaps the clock even spares her... except for Aranea, whose luck lets close calls break in her favor, and nudges that needle one hair to the Just side. Very unlikely that happens if it's not close already though. Jane's situation is basically the same, and so is her verdict. How about Jake? He's the only player who's had two rulings. The first time, he was blustering Ronald Reagan quotes at the top of his lungs when Jane forked him, which I think we may agree safely disqualifies him from heroism (though the Republican party may disagree). The second time was ruled Heroic, when he took a realmaginary ninja sword through the chest for a friend. This corresponds pretty closely with most people's definition of heroic, so I doubt anyone would consider this one controversial either. Dave? Probably not much to debate here either. Fighting while attempting to save a dead friend, to bring her back to Jane for resurrection. There's a moral element here, tied to common ideas of heroism, so there's not much in dispute. When factors stray somewhat from moral notions of heroism, that's when there is more fuel for debate. So what about Rose? Wasn't John killed by Jack under similar circumstances to how Rose died? So why did he survive, and Rose didn't? The circumstances were very similar, on the surface. But I would suggest that the similarity of the two situations, both leading to different outcomes, helps clarify the rules in play, not confuse them. The reason for this? SCIENCE. If you were a scientist in this fictional world, trying to test this fictional construct, these are the exact kinds of situations you would seek out to prove or disprove whatever hypothesis you had. Situations that are very similar, with most factors isolated, and varying only in minor and controlled ways. That's how you would start to understand where the line is between heroic and non-heroic conduct. So what varies between the situations? What line does Rose cross which John doesn't? It becomes pretty obvious if you break the two scenes down. John was standing there, poised for battle with Jack, for all of two seconds before Jack auto-stabbed him from behind. Not even to speak of the underhanded tactic by the villain, I think what's more important is John didn't even get a chance to move. Or specifically, to prove through action that he was prepared to do battle with a foe. In fact, hindsight may tell us he wasn't. He hadn't been through much then. But years later, when he reenacted that scene with Jack through a dream bubble, he was ready that time. He had years to think about that moment, to reflect on the damage caused by Jack, and what he might have done differently if he'd been more prepared, and if the battle wasn't cut short. But during the first encounter, there was no time for heroic intent to translate into action. Compare with Rose's situation. Her feelings are unambiguous. Her mind is made up, and committed to action in the form of forward motion. Sorry Rose, you took a few too many steps through the paint on your drive to the hoop. Gotta blow the whistle! The two similar situations illustrate where one of the lines are for heroism (as a game rule, not moralistically), and in this case, that line is action. It would seem it's not good enough just to have heroic intentions or bold feelings. It doesn't cut it to strike a pose and look cool for two seconds. The intent should be expressed through commitment to an action. The action is what proves the intent. For all we know, John wasn't ready to back up his posture. For all we know, he was terrified! Rose wasn't though. Her action proved it. Why does Rose lashing out in vengeance count as heroic? If you wanted my personal opinion on heroism, I would say a vengeful act is not heroic by itself. We all have our ideas on what heroism means. But I think this is the wrong question to ask. The concern here is less about the moral definition of a heroic act, and more about how heroism is defined in terms of a series of rules which a game system can enforce. Based on some evidence we have, and some things Doc once said about god tier immortality, it's pretty safe to make at least one generalization about heroism as a game construct. The game/story regards your behavior as Heroic if you make some effort to defeat or kill someone who is villainous (or in other words, someone worthy of a Just death). The state of the hero's mind is just an additional consideration, such as whether they happen to be motivated by anger or vengeance. But let's imagine for a moment that a vengeful act is automatically unworthy of heroism, even if directed against a great evil. Wouldn't this be a MAJOR loophole for god tiers to avoid dying heroic deaths? It would mean to qualify as a hero, you couldn't feel anger toward a villain who has almost certainly done something to provoke anger. If a hero ever experienced loss at the hands of a villain, their natural emotional state would exempt them from the heroic consequence of the actions resulting from that anger. They would be completely invulnerable to a villain, so long as they maintained a grudge! The thing with villains is, they tend to have a way of inflicting loss on others. If being wronged precluded heroic behavior, villains would suddenly discover heroes to be incredibly rare commodities. There's a lot to think about here. It's a combination of how you want to morally define heroism and justice, and how to pragmatically construct enforceable rules to that effect. The latter is something that can get very technical, and boil down to hairline actions such as whether one exhibits clear enough forward motion or such, roughly the way sports are officiated. There's no way I'll ever come up with a full list of rules, or even get much deeper into the rules than I have here. But I believe this is a rational outline for the way the subject may be examined, if you wish to do so!!!

[imskipping]

thots about homestuck epilogues

readmore for spoilers, super disjointed and very long, i havent slept in 2 days and my eyes are so goddamn blurry but then the epilogue came out so fuck my schedule i guess 

i certainly didnt hate it but i didnt love it, im like, just disappointed??? it wasnt what i wanted i guess. it wasnt satisfying. it was like, with my woke glasses on i can sort of guess why they made it such a cliffhanger. maybe they want to make sure theres enough of a response so they could push out a sequel, like we were joking bout in the discord, a homestuck 2. maybe theyre making the ending intentionally open ended so that people ask for more, so they can make more money, which i certainly dont villainize them for, mans gotta eat right, but it was so singularly unsatisfying. or maybe hussie just always intended to end it like this. open ended and confusing so the story marches on outside our purview. i dont know. but i just know i wish it wouldve been something different but im glad i got something at all. 

johns unhappiness in candy, his maybe permadeath in meat. jade and jake being so horribly treated in both. humiliation congas all around for jake when he doesnt deserve it. jade never having autonomy sucks. jane being a fucking facist, which i could sort of see happen but didnt like. roxy at least being happy in their life, no matter what decision they make. and dirk going full doc scratch in candy but being redeemed by his suicide in meat. like its nuanced sure but couldnt they have told a different story with the same nuance?  

candy was alright, much better character growth, but its sooo sad?? at least dog dick is canon i guess but wow! davejade when dave confesses to being gay? yikes. but then, i dont think jade knew he was gay so that just kinda sucks for her. and then he meets obama, becomes a robot, and fucks off to fight dirk??? ok 

dave and karkat separation was so abrupt. i wish jadedavekat had happened but not like how jade pushed for it. and i wish john had been brave enough at times to tell the other kids off? i think they wouldve listened to him, jane and jade. maybe if john had said something, it wouldve been better. idk 

i did like the whole obama part tho! it made me yell and gasp in my real life in actual excitement 

johns tantrum in tavros’ room? so good! it needs to be said!! his whole thing about kidnapping tavros to get him away from jane? yes! his home situation is awful! too bad it failed but for a fleeting moment, tavros was atleast happy

fucking gamzee jesus hes so irredeemable hussie said fuck gamzee stans i guess

and “begone, clown”? so good /chefs kiss 

the reappearance of vriska and (vriska), its always nice to have vriska (vriska) interaction.

at least rose and kanaya are happy. at least roxy is happy. i like how no matter what happens, roxy is happy because she wants to be. she makes her own happiness. void powers at work i guess. its realistic! we should all be roxy, creating happiness no matter what we choose to do.  

and john reconciling with his son, jake finally running away after all his suffering. maybe things will be better for them. but the rest of earth c is at war so yikes 

johnrezi is real, no matter the timeline! i guess its my otp now. 

as for meat. it hurt me more. i wanted more fun adult john and kids interaction, i feel robbed that there wasnt any. obviously i didnt pay anything for this but like, i guess i built it up?? lmao 

it sucks that rose died so early on in the lord english fight. and that dave died after doing so much. why in the world didnt jade fucking?? use space powers to fight??? idk but they got mad shafted. davepetasprite^2 didnt deserve their heroic sacrifice. they were the best character in the whole damn epilogue. 

i wish there had been more og beta kids interaction. them 4 are my favs, my whole reason for living. the fact they barely interacted was,,,, cold. 

the whole hammer spamming john does is fucking sick, and im gonna have to draw that one day but that was so good. the thumbs down john does? so sick

the johnrezi was so good! johns death mid confession made me shed an actual tear and his status as possibly revivable is like!! i want to know!! its oddly cute how terezi keeps him in the wallet? as a maybe dead schrodinger’s john. john has never permadied and i dont want him to? hes the protagonist, but i guess according to dirk, he isnt anymore so hes dead?? 

dirks whole dismissal of johns death was kind of jarring considering that the whole of homestuck has been kind of building john up as the unavoidable main character and therefore necessary for the plot but then callie and dirk both said that hes fulfilled his purpose by kicking off the next arc but?? it dont feel right. and dirks whole narration thing was like, so biased 

like fuck dirk 

transphobic dirk is canon now which no one asked for but we got it anyway 

i do love how rosebot is a thing and davebot is a thing, just like how jasprosesprite^2 is a thing and davepetasprite^2 is a thing. theyre always synchronous with each other

and once again roxy is happy bc they want to be happy and makes their own happiness. 

i loved the scenes where dirk and altcallie fight for narrative control

what was dirks whole thing anyway??? does he want to escape the narrative? where are they headed and is it just a random planet out there that they never bothered to look for?? 

i do like the scene with jade in the wheelchair, it sucks that she never gets to have any agency but atleast shes alive. kanaya on the warpath to get her wife back, everyone else just on the warpath bc dirk must be stopped. i wish they knew john was dead. i wish jade knew. 

i guess it just gave me so many questions. 

like, is john revivable? will they get rose back? where is dirk going and why did he get his bullshit omnipresent powers and if theres going to be an epic showdown between dirk and everyone else where does robodave and altcallie fit in 

dirk is the new big bad but why? why did terezi go with them bc she just kinda does it without saying why

when will jade stop being possessed

who will win the war in candy 

will meat and candy intersect again or will they live separate from each other now? 

i have so many questions but i dont think ill ever get answers 

i just wanted john to be fucking happy 

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Chapter 6: 3/20, Part 2

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of neglect and abuse, mentions of terrorist activities, violence, blood (very minor); Illustrated

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Dave stretched out on the futon and flicked on the TV, letting himself relax a little for the first time in ages. There was no sign of Bro, and the window had been open, a sure sign he was out somewhere (Bro never left using the main stairs or even through the maintenance hall like Dave sometimes did — as far as the owners of this apartment complex knew, Dave was the only person living in this unit, and Bro went to great lengths to keep it that way. Always did, every time they moved to a new apartment.), which was awesome, because the guy had been watching Dave like a fuckin’ hawk with a grudge for six damn days now.  

“Karkat, you sure you don’t wanna come out?” he called. “He’s definitely gone, and I mean, I don’t know when he’s gonna be back, exactly, so you can’t be out here for long, but my bedroom and the bathroom can’t be the best scenery in the long term, man. Stretch your legs or whatever.”

“I am not testing my luck, fuck you, I’m staying right here,” Karkat called back.

“Suit yourself, man,” Dave shrugged. He flicked through a few channels. Nothing on right now but reruns, damn.

He spent about an hour watching the kind of shitty movie he’d normally be all over, happily riffing it to shreds on his own, but there was something restless in him today, he couldn’t get into it. It was starting to piss him off. He heaved a sigh as the protagonist blundered through another incredibly forced scene, and reached for the remote again, clicking through a few more channels.

It was the news that made him freeze. Normally he didn’t give too much of a shit, except, holy fuck, that was Bro, was this live?!

It was, it was absolutely live, holy shit. Bro was…was fighting some poor fucker on a rooftop, and there were police around, and that explosion meant that some of the Usuals were probably around, too, and Dave knew that building, it was like an hour away the way Bro travelled, even if he stopped fighting right the fuck now he’d need an hour to get back —

Karkat. He could — an hour was plenty of fucking time, he could grab some cash, bustle Karkat onto the nearest city bus and tell him to keep bushopping until the money was gone, come back and beat himself up and trash the place so it’d look like a jailbreak, this was the best fucking chance he’d have, holy shit —

Dave snapped out of his reverie with a jolt. Right, he needed to act right the fuck now, this was not the time to be zoning out about getting shit done, this was the time to actually get shit done. With probably the second or third least dignified scuffle of his life, Dave bolted back for his room and shoved the door open (it was unlocked, since Bro wasn’t here). Karkat nearly jumped out of his skin, but Dave didn’t have time to laugh or apologize or what the fuck ever, this was now or goddamn never —

“Dave, what the fuck?!” Karkat started, but Dave shook his head.

“I’m getting you out of here,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Like, right now, we gotta go right the fuck now.”

“Are — are you serious? Now?!”

“Dude, Bro’s like an hour away, this might be the only shot we have, c’mon!” Dave grabbed a jacket out of his closet (force of habit; he didn’t have any long sleeved shirts right now, and didn’t like attracting attention to the scars on his arms from bad strifes, so it didn’t matter if it was hot out, he was wearing a jacket) and picked up his sword (also a force of habit), tugging Karkat after him as he hurried out of the room.

“What — holy shit, Dave, okay, I get it, we gotta hurry, but do you even have a plan?!”

“Yeah, it’s called get you on a fuckin’ bus right this damn second. I’ll make it look like you fought your way out and stole a buncha cash, you just gotta keep bus hopping ’til you’re as far outta Houston as you can get, alright? You know how to ride a bus, right? Shit,” Dave said, grabbing a bunch of bills out of the stash Bro always kept in the kitchen, in that one cabinet you had to open super carefully to avoid getting buried in knives (Dave was a pro at raiding it by now, albeit usually for enough money to buy a sandwich, not a bus trip to the other side of the planet).

“I mean, I’ve ridden one before, yeah, it didn’t seem that complicated —”

“But do you know how to read the bus schedules and pay for your fare and shit, dude? Ugh, nevermind, I gotta show you where the nearest bus stop is, anyway, I’ll show you when we get there.” He shoved the wad of bills into his jeans pocket and grabbed Karkat around the wrist. “C’mon, we’re taking the elevator this time, no time for the damn stairs.”

Karkat followed after him, sporadically bursting out with hushed complaints. Dave barely noticed most of them. His own internal monologue was going so fast that he had no doubt his mouth wouldn’t have been able to keep up if he tried, but was still making some sort of effort. He was probably muttering all kinds of nonsense right now, but who cared, who cared? The elevator dinged down way too damn slow, and as soon as it touched the bottom floor, Dave grabbed Karkat again and steered him towards another back entrance of the apartment complex, this one leading into a slightly different backstreet than the one Karkat had been smuggled in by. Dave always got pretty familiar with back alleys whenever Bro moved them to a new place; it was a good idea to know some other ways of getting around, just in case. These ones weren’t totally familiar to him, but the bus stop was near enough, he was sure…

Karkat stopped short as soon as they were out the door, throwing Dave off his stride. “Wait,” said Karkat, tugging Dave back to look at him.

“Dude, the fuck? We gotta hurry, man, what do you —”

“You should — you should come with me,” he said, and the fuckin’ sincerity in his bigass eyes was the only thing that kept Dave from laughing. “I know, you’ve got some idea that you can’t leave,” he continued, before Dave could recover enough to respond, “but, come the fuck on, let’s be real, you’re just as much of a fucking prisoner here as I am, and I don’t know jack shit about Earth transportation. We’ll stand a way better chance if we leave together!”

“I…” Part of Dave wanted to, recognized that he was at least right about the troll having a better chance with a guide who knew how buses worked, but that part got shut down immediately by the thought of Ben, staring down at him with sad eyes — “I can’t,” Dave said. “I told you, I can’t abandon him, he’s…he’s family, dude, I’m all he has.”

Karkat growled, an odd, clicky sound not entirely like any growl Dave had ever heard but unmistakeable nonetheless, and rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Dave! I don’t know why the fuck you think he needs you, all he has or not, but I’m pretty fucking sure he’ll be just fine. You won’t be, though, and I sure as fuck won’t be!”

“‘I won’t?’ The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, come the fuck on,” Karkat said, “you’re the one who told me when we first fucking met that you weren’t sure he wouldn’t kill you —”

“I was joking, dude,” Dave hissed. “He wouldn’t, I’m family, I’m his goddamned son and I can take anything he can dish out just fuckin’ fine!”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a big tough grub and all that hoofbeastshit. God, would you fucking look at yourself?! You’re half starved, beat up to hell and back, and he scares the shit out of you! This — whatever the fuck family means to you, this can’t be worth it!”

“The fuck do you know? You’re a god damn alien!”

“Yeah, and this fucking alien can see that this isn’t right, why the fuck can’t you?! Just shut up and come with me, you insufferable, pan-baked shitheaded —”

—A sound, high above, halfway through Karkat’s ranting. Dave couldn’t identify it, at this distance, not through Karkat’s voice. “Karkat, wait—”

“No, I’m not done! We’re both completely fucked in this situation, and you’re quite frankly fucking obnoxious, but sticking together is the best chance we mmfmpph mmpfpgh!!” Dave slapped a hand over Karkat’s mouth, hissing through his teeth.

“I heard something, shut the fuck up, I think something might have noticed us—”

That was a sound Dave knew all too well. Shattering glass, followed by a shadow passing overhead. Shit. Shit, shit, shit shit shitshitshitshit—

Dave shoved Karkat down the shadowed street. “Someone’s following us. Something, I don’t know, we gotta go, now, run!” he hissed. Karkat’s eyes somehow got even wider, and he nodded, tearing off after Dave as best he could. Dave didn’t run as fast as he could, even though he wanted to, fuck, but he couldn’t lose Karkat in the maze back here.

Stopping short and whirling around, he yanked the wad of cash out of his pocket and shoved it into Karkat’s hands, who’d stopped, wheezing, just after Dave did.

“You’re gonna wanna go straight, then left, then straight again, jump the little fence, and then just go towards the light and you’ll be right out by the bus stop,” Dave said, his words running into each other with how fast he was talking. “Take the first bus that shows up, the guy’ll probably tell you how to pay, you’ll have to get someone to show you how to read the schedules, just —”

“I’m not leaving without you,” Karkat hissed. Dave could hear how scared the poor guy was, fucking Christ.

“Look, if this is one of Bro’s guys, I got a way better chance of not dying than you do, none of them would kill me and risk pissing Bro off. I can hold ‘em off, but you gotta run. I’ll be fine, promise, alright?”

“No, fuck no!”

Dave groaned. “Holy shit, you stubborn jackass, you’re going to die if you don’t leave!”

“Come with me, then! Make sure I don’t! Like you said, I’m a fucking alien, how am I gonna survive on my own, huh? But if you come with me, we’ll both be free, and —”

A trash can tumbled over, making both boys jump. Dave slid into a fighting stance and drew his sword, shoving Karkat with his elbow as he did. “Fine, Jesus, I’ll catch up with you if I’m able!Run, Karkat, just run!” It was a lie. It was a bitter lie he had no intention of keeping, but that’d be alright, as long as Karkat got out of here.

The troll swallowed hard, nodded, and ran.

Dave didn’t watch him go. He turned his eyes back the way they’d come from, glaring into the shadows.

“Alright, whoever the fuck you are, let’s cut the shit and have ourselves a nice little chat, huh? No more of this bullshit sneaking around.”

He was answered by a pair of glowing red eyes, a distressing animal noise he didn’t recognize at all, and the growing sound of two pairs of running feet somewhere more distant, coming this way.

Well, shit, today just kept getting better, didn’t it?

He didn’t initially get a good look at what it was that jumped at him. It was a flash of white, something about the size of a German Shepherd, but whatever it was had claws and managed to slash small cuts across his eyebrow and the bridge of his nose. He shoved it away with the flat of his sword, and took a swipe at it, only for it to quickly roll away and hiss at him.

That. That was a dragon.

That was an actual fucking dragon, what the fuck.

Hissing and spitting, the dragon circled warily, its tail creeping up to its side, and oh shit, oh shit that thing was wearing a police uniform, were the police hiring dragons now what the fuck??

Red and blue lights strobed and flashed, casting harsh shadows on the narrow, shadow walls of the back street. Shit. Did this count as getting seen by the police, Dave wondered. He could hear Bro’s voice now, he was going to be fuckin’ crucified for this, oh God —

The approaching footsteps caught up, finally. Good news: two trolls, definitely not Bro’s goons. Bad news: They were definitely with the police. Probably that weird hybrid police officer-slash-Alternia whatchamacallit Dave had heard about. One of them fired off some rapid Alternian to the dragon, which turned its head and then, abruptly, lunged at Dave — no, lunged over Dave, managing a short glide despite the narrowness of the alley. The other troll, the one that hadn’t spoken, moved to follow it. Dave did his best to block their way, but his blade failed to connect, blocked instead by another.  The second troll got by just fine and followed after the dragon.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” said the troll who’d spoken.  She had a cane and dark red glasses — shit, was she blind?  Except her cane was apparently a sword cane — two sword canes, in fact, wow, that was just fuckin’ excessive. “We have some questions for you, citizen,” the troll said, grinning with a mouth full of fuckin’ knives, hot damn. “You’re under arrest, I’m afraid,” she finished.

Dave shoved her away as best he could, flashstepping back a couple feet. “Like hell I am,” he said. He moved to chase after the dragon and the other officer — shit, maybe it’d be better to just let them catch Karkat, the guy hadn’t done anything wrong, but Dave still needed to run —

He quickly found himself making introductions with the ground. The troll had tossed one of her blades so that it spun like a propeller, knocking into Dave’s ankles and sending him off balance. He was almost instantly back on his feet, though; plenty of practice getting knocked around had taught him how to get back up quickly. The troll used the time to get around him, though, blocking off his escape.

He could head back toward the building, he guessed, except, no, that’d be leading the fucking police right to the apartment, shit. He had to fight her, then. He had no idea how the fuck he was getting out of this, but, whatever, they had three swords between them and an obvious conflict of interests, so, alright, fine, let’s go, let’s fucking go, it’s on like Donkey Kong with a —

No time for that. Blades clashed in the alley, hard; sparks flew off to the side and Dave felt the force of the blow rattling up his left forearm in that painful tinge that warned that his old wrist injury was not going to make this easy. He brushed it off, tried to meet her blows — fuck, this was no fair, she was dual wielding, but that was alright, he was used to fighting people with way more experience and all kinds of unfair advantages, he could figure it out on the fly. No big deal.

(Of course, that other person was always Bro, and Dave had never once beaten him, but. Whatever. He’d be okay, he’d figure it out —)

Clash, again. There was blood in his eye, fuck, that scratch from the little dragon was affecting his vision, and the alley was dark and all he’d eaten today was half a bag of Doritos, fuck —

Clash, clash, clash, a feint here, a swipe there, his hands were getting sweaty and the time was ticking away, there wasn’t enough room to maneuver well in this fucking backstreet, everything was awful, Christ, he had to get out of here before —

Before he lost his balance again, yeah, exactly like that. Crashed to the ground, winded from again bony-ass elbow right to the goddamn diaphragm, aware vaguely of his shades clattering off to the side and his sword crashing out of his grip.

He didn’t get a chance to get up again this time. The troll pressed her boot against his chest, tipped one of the blades against his throat, and grinned.

“You’re under fucking arrest.”  

“Yeah, I got that.”

“Fine, Jesus! I’ll catch up with you if I’m able! Run, Karkat, just run!”  

Karkat felt some of his breath forced out at Dave’s elbow digging into his ribs, and he stumbled. He looked back, a retort on his tongue, but…

His pump biscuit felt like it was hammering at his throat in some desperate attempt to leave his body.

There was nothing he could do, Karkat realized; he was nowhere near as fast as these crazy flickery humans, he didn’t even have a weapon.

Feeling like an even bigger coward than he had the day he’d agreed to leave Alternia, Karkat swallowed hard, nodded solemnly to Dave, and ran. He didn’t believe Dave for a fucking second, but maybe…

He’d…he’d find a way to help, he thought as he ran. He could…Terezi! He could get Terezi, she was some sort of weird hybrid legislacerator, right? If anyone could rescue Dave, she could! He’d get away like Dave said, then find a computer or a phone and get Terezi, tell her everything he knew, where he’d been, and she could get Dave away from Strider.

(It was a desperate hope, but thanks to how much of his energy was being syphoned into breathing and keeping his legs moving as fast as he fucking could, he didn’t register how completely insane a chance the entire thought was. Besides, the thought that maybe he could find a way  to get Dave out alive was the only thing keeping guilt from completely tearing him apart.)

It wasn’t until he was confronted with a great stone wall that Karkat realized he’d taken a wrong turn.

Shit. Shit, he couldn’t risk backtracking, shit — someone was coming, oh God, he had to hide, there was a big metal trash receptacle that he could duck behind and pray whoever was after him didn’t spot him, he dove for cover and wrapped his arms over his head, as the clicking sound of his pursuer grew ever louder —

He screeched as a heavy weight landed on him, knocking him over backwards. He started to fight, tried to push it off — and as soon as his arms were away from his face, something long, damp, and slightly sticky dragged across his cheek.

“Augh, what the fuck —” he blinked, completely disbelieving. No…No way. “Pyralspite?! There is no fucking way - how the fuck!?”  The little dragon trilled, her entire body wiggling, and licked Karkat’s face again. She had on some sort of little black outfit, and these strobing red and blue lights flashed, lighting up the dead end Karkat had bumbled into, but there was no doubt, this was definitely Pyralspite.

“Holy shit,” Karkat breathed. All the tension suddenly left him at once, and he flopped flat against the ground. “Holy fucking shit,” he said. Another deep breath, and he switched to Alternian, saying, “Pyralspite, I have no idea how the fuck you’re here, but I have never been so happy to get licked in the face in my entire life. Oh, my God…Is Terezi nearby? Can you — wait, who’s coming? Shit, get off me, get off, God dammit you dumbass dragon get the fuck off me.”

A new pair of footsteps was echoing closer off the walls. Pyralspite trilled again, but did finally hop off of Karkat (only after licking his face one last time, gross).  Around the corner came…a troll, thank fuck, it was a troll; an oliveblood in some sort of costume that looked enough like Terezi’s uniform for Karkat to assume that they knew her.

“Hey,” they said, “you the friend Pyrope came looking for?”

“Uh, probably?” Karkat answered. “I mean…that’d make sense, actually, yeah. Yeah, I am, holy fuck can you please get me out of here.”

The oliveblood chuckled gently. “That’s what we’re here for, kid,” they said. “C’mon, we got an extra squad car on the way, we’ll get you somewhere safe.”

Exhaustion hit him like a red-hot right hook to the bone bulge, and for several exhausted, stumbling minutes, he silently allowed the troll to guide him. Karkat never thought he’d be glad to see sunlight, but fuck, getting out of the shadows of those buildings was a relief.

Less of a relief was the sound that greeted his ears from a little ways up the street. Two police cars were parked next to each other, and he could see Terezi, twirling a folded pair of sunglasses, along with two human officers, who were struggling with a very vocal, very familiar human teen.

“Fuckin’ — I know my damn rights, fuck you, fuck all of you, I’m not going and you can’t make me!”

“You have the right —”

“I wasn’t doin’ anythin’ wrong, y’all got nothin’ on me, this is horseshit, y’hear? I will bust the fuck out of this bullshit, goddamn army couldn’t hold me —”

“You have the —”

“At least give me my fuckin’ shades back, holy shit, let me have some damn dignity.”

“Nope!” cackled Terezi, as one of the human cops finally managed to shove Dave into the car.

“You have the right to remain silent,” wheezed the human cop, slamming the door shut. Karkat could see Dave sticking his tongue out at the officer through the window. Karkat swore under his breath and ran toward them, ignoring the shout of surprise from the oliveblood.

“Terezi, wait!” Karkat shouted. More running was the last thing his legs wanted to do right now, but fuck it, he wasn’t about to — yeah, he’d hoped to get Terezi involved, but he’d wanted Dave rescued, not fucking arrested!

Too late, Terezi turned toward Karkat. The car with Dave inside was already pulling out and driving off. Karkat caught a glimpse of Dave’s face as it sped away.

Without the shades, reading him was like a damn book, and the fear in Dave’s eyes made something in Karkat break.

“Geez, Karkat,” Terezi was saying. “It’s just like you to get kidnapped at the worst possible time. The good ole’ Vantas curse strikes again, huh?” She was grinning, teasing; Karkat was sure she probably did mean some of it on some level, but the tone of her voice made it clear that relief for Karkat’s safety overrode any irritation she might actually feel.

Karkat didn’t have time to care, even if he was really, really fucking glad to see her. “Terezi, you can’t — you can’t let them prosecute him, he’s not a bad guy!”

Terezi raised an eyebrow. “He wasn’t exactly acting innocent,” she said. “You okay there, Karkat? Because he tried to stop me from rescuing you. With a sword.”

“Well, yeah, of course he did,” Karkat said. “He’s been like, fucking conditioned to not trust the police or something, probably, I wouldn’t put that past that Strider bastard. Speaking of whom, that’s who you should be blaming for this!  He didn’t want to fucking grubnap me, but Strider fucking forced him to either do that or kill me, and the fact that I’m alive should clue you in to which he chose! He fucking — he was trying to help me escape, he thought we were getting chased by some of Strider’s goons!”

“Holy shit,” said the oliveblood. “You seriously got taken by one of Strider’s men and survived?”

“I don’t know that I’d call him one of Strider’s men,” said Karkat. “More like actually taken hostage by Strider him fucking self, and it’s only thanks to Dave that I’m goddamn alive, which is why you shouldn’t be arresting him! He’s not dangerous, he’s just a scared fucking kid!”

“Wait,” Terezi said, her smile dropping. “Da-did you say his name was Dave?”

“Yeah?” Karkat said. “I don’t get how that’s important right now, but —”

“His name is Dave,” said Terezi.

“Yes, I’ve said that like three times now, Terezi, fuck.”

“And he lives with Strider.”

The oliveblood made a sound that gave Karkat the impression of choking on air.

“Yeah…?” Karkat was really getting confused, but apparently this meant something to Terezi.

“Holy shit,” Terezi muttered after a long moment. “Holy…holy shit, that was him, holy —” She didn’t wait around to explain anything to Karkat. Instead, she turned on her heel and practically ripped open the passenger side door on the remaining police car, snatching fiercely at a small radio on the dashboard. “This is Pyrope, calling in —”

“There you are, fuck! It was a damn catastrophe over here, everything went sour, the guy was onto us from the —”

“Yeah, I know, I heard you all bitching about it earlier. That’s not the issue at hand, though! Dirk, where is Dirk?”

“Uh, he sustained some minor injuries, and we’re letting him rest since he seems pretty shaken up, so…”

“I need him back at the precinct. Tell him to get back to the precinct,” she hissed.

“What, now?”

“No, sometime in the next month, we can arrange a fucking tea party. Yes, now!!”

“Uh…we’ll tell him, sure.”

The other end went silent. Terezi sat back and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Dave fucking Strider, Jesus Christ,” she muttered.

“Is there something I’m missing here?” Karkat said.

“It’s —” Terezi was interrupted by static on the police radio.

“Look, Pyrope, the kid’s had a long day. I can see him from here, he looks fuckin’ exhausted, and I really don’t think he’s up for this right now. Let’s let him rest a bit longer, huh?”

“God dammit, Powers,” Terezi barked, practically screaming, “You tell him to get his mopey fuckin’ ass back to the station now, damn you! This can’t wait! I don’t care how bad he got his feelings hurt, you get him back there!” Terezi dropped the radio and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Jesus Christ,” she said, “I get Dave fucking Strider in our custody after three damn years and his fuckin’ brother’s off brooding on me! Fuckin’ typical.”