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sexysapphicshopowner · 10 months

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🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Long distance love birds, Stasi and King move in together after graduating college. Cue the ‘let’s christen this place’ jokes, but Kingsley has something a bit more heartfelt in mind.

🤎 Anastasia James: 21, travel blogger

🤎 Kingsley Mancini: 22, photographer

🤎 CW/TW: fluff, lesbians being lesbians, proposal, kissing, pet names, consensual groping, suggestive comments, hickeys, domestic activities, alcohol, swearing, romantic stuff, Italian and Spanish (translations provided), nsfwish, slight angst (only in the beginning for the most part), no google translate, proofread (but not really i need to be sleep rn)

🤎 A/N: Another piece for my love @certainlynotasimp enjoy sugarplum 🫶🏽 (reminder, requests for my tag list are open as well as in general) I was lazy and didn't feel like writing a description for the garden, nor the rings so...deal with it I guess. Enjoy !!

🤎 Notes:

Kingsley was raised by Afro Italian (Mumi) and Afro Spanish (Ma’) mothers so she grew up speaking both Spanish and Italian (born in Italy) 🇮🇹🇪🇸

Anastasia was raised by Afro Dominican parents and grew up speaking Spanish (born in London) 🇩🇴

Kingsley’s contact name for Anastasia is Italian and it means ‘my brown sugar honey’ 🥺

Anastasia is contact name for Kingsley is Spanish and it means ‘my cinnamon apple baby’ 🤎

🤎 Translations: (all translations were checked with the help of deepl translate)

Ma’, pensi davvero che dovrei farlo?- Mom, do you really think I should do this?

Guardami- Look at me

Bimbi- nickname meaning little one

Mumi- nickname meaning Mom

Mi nenita, toda crecida- My little girl, all grown up

Ti amo sempre di più piccola amore- I love you more and more, baby love

No más que yo- Not more than me

Cicchi- nickname meaning chocolate

Bichita- nickname meaning little bug

Merda- shit

Scusi? Non è così che parli davanti a tua madre- I beg your pardon? (Lit. Excuse me) That’s not how you speak in front of your mother

Mi dispiace, mamma- I’m sorry, mom

Cara mia- my dear

Mamme- moms

Buona fortuna- good luck

Buona serata- have a good evening

Ora- now

Madrine- godmothers

Sei proprio un romcompiglioni, Valé- You really are a pain in the ass, Valé

Picci- nickname meaning little or small one

Puttana- bitch

¡Ay Dios mío!- oh Lord or oh God

Paella- Spanish rice dish

Ricotta gnudi- Italian dumplings

È perfetto- it's perfect

Mis favoritos- my favorites

Muevete, por favor. Déjame ir para que podamos ir a casa, mi amor- move, please. Let me go so we can go home, my love

Darmi un bacio- give me a kiss

Su con la vita, amore mio. Ti darò tutti i baci che vuoi dopo cena- Cheer up, my love. I'll give you all the kisses you want after dinner

🤎 Word count: 3.6k

18 June 2017

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Kingsley

To say I was scared shitless that day was an understatement. I had no idea how she’d respond. Even though we were moving into a house together and had been together for 3 and a half years, I don’t think my anxiety has ever been worse. But I was in love. I still am in love. And I’m going to marry the love of my life.

I played with the ring, looking to my mother in question, “Ma’, pensi davvero che dovrei farlo? I mean…what if she thinks it’s too soon?”

She regarded me for a moment before she spoke, placing her hand over mine to stop me from fidgeting with the ring, “Guardami. I can’t tell you how she’ll respond, bimbi. Have you two ever discussed the idea of marriage?”

“I mean, yeah, we have. And we agreed we wanted to get married before we made it to 5 years together, but like…at first I figured with the house it’d be cute to propose to her now that we’re finally moving into it, but what if……what if it’s too much all at once?”

“Then I’m sure you guys will figure it out. Not being ready for marriage is nothing to break up over, I tell you that.”

“Were you and Mumi ready back then?”

My mumi poked her head in from the kitchen with a smile that ma’ shared, “I wasn’t. It was a different time back then, though. It was hard enough that we hadn’t come out our families yet. The thought of coming out and announcing an engagement? I was terrified.”

Ma kissed her cheek as she sat down next to her, “She helped me reevaluate my reason for wanting to marry right then in the first place. I thought that if we were married when we came out it would legitimize our relationship a little more in their eyes. Sure, I loved her, and yes I truly wanted to marry her it just wasn’t for the right reasons right then. In the end we just agreed that we’d wait to plan the wedding until we were both ready, and in the meantime, we’d grown even closer for it.”

“Very cute, you two but that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

Mumi reached across the table to rub my arm, “Well, why do you want to marry her, Mimi?”

The thought of my girlfriend was usually enough to turn me into a blushing and flustered mess, but sitting in front of my mothers, all I could do was gush about her and this time was no different.

I beamed as I took Mumi’s hand, “Because in all my years, though few they might be, I have never found anyone who sees me the way she does. Anastasia is the muse I had been in search for when I switched my studies abroad. She’s- she’s my everything, simply put. I love her with my entire being. And I want to marry her because she’s someone I don’t think I can live the rest of my life without.”

They shared a look as they both teared up, Ma rubbing Mumi’s shoulder, “Mi nenita, toda crecida.”

My phone lit up with her contact name on it and I held up a hand as I turned my chair around to check the message:

“Looks like someone just got a text from their girlfriend. Feeling better, Mimi?”

I nodded as I looked over my lock screen, “Sure did. Her flight is taking off soon. Which means I have 2 and a half hours to get my life together. Whew, okay……I’m doing this. I’m about to propose to my girlfriend. Merda-“

“Scusi? Non è così che parli davanti a tua madre,” Ma scolded me.

I rubbed the back of my neck, sheepish and apologetic, “Mi dispiace, mamma.”

“Cara mia, go easy on her. She’s stressing out right now,” Mumi defended, tossing me a wink.

I held back my smile as I spoke, “I am sorry, though. Should I…I don’t know, decorate the house a little bit? You know, candles, flowers? Maybe some balloons?”

“Did you show her the garden when you guys bought the place?”

“No, I wanted it to be…a surprise for when we moved in,” I finished, getting excited. I hopped from my seat, sticking the ring in my pocket as I rushed to my mothers, wrapping my arms around their shoulders and kissing both their cheeks, “Mwah, I love you both so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you, mamme. I’ll tell you how it goes tomorrow, I promise.”

“Be safe, bimbi.”

“Buona fortuna, Mimi.”

“Buona serata,” I called as I headed out the front door.

I all but sped off to the house, instantly palming my forehead at the sight of the mover’s truck parked at the end of the driveway, my best friend guiding the workers.

“Kingsley Allegra Vittoria Mancini. Get your ass over here and help! Ora!”

I bit my lip as I grabbed a box of Stasi’s things from the truck, “Wow, Valé. Happy to see you too.”

“Oh don’t act like you didn’t see me before you left to go stress out my madrine. Has the flight left yet?”

“Yeah, Bubbles text me like 30 minutes ago to let me know that they were preparing for take off. Say, I need you to pick some things up for me actually.”

“No.”

I smacked as I set the box on the couch, “You don’t even know what I want nor what for yet.”

“I’ll do it for 500 bucks,” she offered.

“Sei proprio un romcompiglioni, Valé. I don’t have 500 bucks. You know that.”

“Cap.”

“Okay, maybe I do, but dammit, will you just hear me out?”

She folded her arms, quirking a brow at me as she tapped her foot, “Alright. And it better be good or I’m only dropping to 250.”

I pulled the keys from my pocket, holding them out for her to take, “Here.”

She frowned as she took them, “And just what the h-“ she cut off with a gasp as she noticed the ring, inspecting it, “Oh, babes….she’s gonna love it. You’re proposing?”

“Yeah, and I don’t have long. I need you to get some things for me to set up the garden for it. I’m gonna put it all together, but I need you to go get it while I put all these boxes up and out of the way with the movers.”

She rolled her eyes as she handed the keys back, grabbing her car keys from the ledge over the fireplace, “Send me a list. I’ll try to hurry. I know that flight isn’t long and you’ve gotta shower and pick her up as well.”

“That I do. Thanks, Valéncia.”

“Uh-oh. Mimi’s nervous. Talk to me.”

“Do you think I’m moving too fast?”

“It’s been almost 4 years, picci. You guys have bought a house together, and didn’t you both agree that one of you should propose before you guys make 5 years?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

She placed a hand on my shoulder, shutting me up, “No buts. You’ve got this, babes. Hurry with that list, stop stressing yourself or you’ll chicken out.”

I pushed her off of me, rolling my eyes playfully, "Oh, shut it you old bat. I’ll tell you and the mamme how it goes in the morning, okay?”

“Alright, hop to it, asshole.”

I helped the movers take all the boxes into one of the many empty rooms of the house, thanking them for the help before retreating to the guest bathroom to shower and freshen myself up.

My brain couldn’t help but wander as I pulled on my clothes, anxiety twisting in my stomach like a storm brewing on the horizon.

I had a horrifying cacophony of ‘what ifs’ and questions. What if she says no? What if it makes her change her mind about us moving in together? What if I stutter? What if I fall into the lake? What if something catches fire with the candles? What if she doesn’t even answer? What if I lose the ring?

What if she doesn’t like the ring? What if everything that could possibly go wrong does?

What if?

“Puttana! You better not be up there bitchin’ in your head.”

I rolled my eyes as I made my way downstairs, “You got my shit?”

“Of course! I also have some food. You need to eat.”

I shook my head as I took the bags from her hands like a madwoman, rushing toward the back door, “Can’t eat. I think I’ll be sick.”

“¡Ay Dios mío! Please eat for me, Kingsley. Madrina Morgana said you didn’t eat with them and you didn’t eat with me this morning. Just a bite at least.”

“What did you bring?”

She beamed, holding the Tupperware from Ma, “Paella from your Ma and Mumi made ricotta gnudi.”

“Give me a dumpling so I can go set this up and get to the airport for my baby. You can put the rest in the car.”

“Kingsley.”

“Yes?”

“One more thing before I go?”

“What is it,” I asked impatiently as I turned back to her.

She rolled her eyes as she handed me a velvet box, grumbling, “Here, witcha angry ass.”

“Girl what the f-“

My voice died on my tongue as she turned to head out the front door with a smirk, “Mumi owes me 20 bucks.”

I whispered as I looked on at the ring, smiling, “È perfetto.”

Anastasia

Actual heart stop that day. Speechless isn’t even the word. I forgot what words even were. Yet here I am. Engaged to the love of my life.

I laughed softly to myself as my notifications started coming in:

I poked my lip out as she picked up the call, “You know how I feel about surprises, Mimi. Tell me~”

“No, Bubbles. You just have to wait and see. Besides, you said yourself that you like surprises that include blindfolds,” she mumbled, smirk evident in her tone.

I fought back a smile of my own, squeezing my legs together as I watched the carousel of luggage for my suitcase, “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t…but I still wanna know what you’re planning. What if I had something planned and your surprise interferes with it?”

“Well, do you have something planned,” she chimed as I made my way down the escalator. She pulled me into her arms the second I was close enough in reach as I hung up, placing my phone into my pocket.

“I mean, nothing too big, but….yeah I had a lil something-something planned,” I admitted, nibbling on my thumbnail as I thought about the package I’d asked Valé to slip into the house.

“I mean we still have time before it gets dark enough outside to do what I want,” she whispered against my skin as she pressed soft kisses along my jaw and cheek.

I couldn’t help but giggle as I squirmed in her arms, “Alright, alright! You got your one kiss, now muevete, por favor. Déjame ir para que podamos ir a casa, mi amor. I think we’ve given enough of a show in this lobby.”

She relented, letting go of me after one more kiss to my lips, “Alright, alright. I guess the longer we stand here the less time we have to lay up together.”

I prodded her with my elbow as she grabbed the handles for my suitcase and carry-on while I picked up the poster board, “Hey, at least you know.”

I studied the poster she had made as she dragged my luggage alongside her, poking my bottom lip out, “You know what, I might just let you have some tonight. I mean, you made me a proper poster this time around and everything.”

She scoffed at the accusation, “What do you mean “this time around”? My posters are always proper.”

“Yeah, proper jokes. Last time you picked me up after a flight the poster was welcoming me home from rehab. And the time before that it was prison,” I exclaimed.

“I stand by those. They were hilarious,” she shrugged, opening the trunk.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s ride.”

45 minutes later…

After a car ride full of Kingsley rubbing on my thigh like she’d never have a chance to hold it again, I was playing in her hair as she lay on my chest between my legs, kissing my chin.

I smiled, tilting my head down for our lips to meet, “Mm, should I get dressed up for this little dinner you’ve got planned?”

“Just a little bit. You know I know you look good in anything, but you’re gonna wanna be at least a little dressed up for this,” she mumbled before leaning into my kiss.

Kissing her always felt like everything, everywhere, all at once. Every place where our bodies met my skin blazed with heat, all sprouting from the pit of my belly. I could feel her smile against my lips as she moved higher over me, tongue lavishing mine before she sucked on it, coaxing a moan from my throat.

Breathless, I took two handfuls of her shirt as she pulled away slightly, forehead rested against mine, “Well damn, Kingsley. Tell me something good then.”

She chuckled, pressing soft kisses against my lips in between her words, “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“Mm, I think I’ve got a pretty good one. I mean you haven’t stopped touching nor kissing me since I got here. I don’t mind though.”

Soft brushes with her lips turned hungry as hot, open-mouthed kisses scathed their way down my jaw, her mouth latching onto a pulse point as she sucked softly. I sucked air in through my teeth, a whimper escaping me as her teeth nibbled on the area, “Fuck…”

She let go, kissing the new bruise, “You alright up there?”

I huffed, caressing her cheek with my thumb, “Yeah, I’m okay. Darmi un bacio?”

She moved as if to oblige, lips ghosting over mine before she sat back, rubbing my thighs, “Later. Go get dressed, Bubbles.”

I pouted, folding my arms across my chest, whining, “Hey! You’ve been kissing me all this time, but now that I asked for one it’s a no? Meanie.”

She kissed my cheek quite audibly before pecking my bottom lip, “Su con la vita, amore mio. Ti darò tutti i baci che vuoi dopo cena.”

“Hmph,” I frowned harder, turning my face away from her.

“Stasi-“ she called in a sing song, pulling me into her with her arms around my waist, “The quicker you get ready, the sooner we can kiss.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning into her kiss on my cheek, “Fine. You’ve gotta look cute too, then. And dibs on upstairs. You’ve gotta get ready down here.”

“Whatever~” she rolled her eyes, pushing me up, “Get to it.”

I waited for her to take her clothes downstairs before locking the door, hopping on the sink counter, “Hello?”

“Stasi! How are you, love?”

“Doing quite alright, Ma. I had a question.”

“Yes?”

I nibbled my lip as I looked under the sink for the package, “Could you put me on speaker, actually? So Mumi could hear me?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Cara mia, Anastasia’s on the phone!”

“Ah, darling! How are you?”

I chuckled, “Well, I was hoping to ask you guys for something.”

“Anything,” they answered in unison before laughing together.

“So, you guys know that Kingsley and I have been together for almost 4 years now, and obviously we’re moving in together finally, but I was wondering if maybe-“

“Yes.”

“What?”

Ma giggled as Mumi responded, “Go ahead and ask her. I’m sure you guys will be great.”

My face flushed as I put the velvet bag on the counter, “Thanks guys. It means more than you know.”

“Oh trust us, we know. Go on, you have business to attend to,” Ma chimed.

It didn’t take me long to get ready. At least, I didn’t think it did until a knock sounded on the door, “Baby? I forgot you take forever and a day to get ready. Are you almost done?”

“Not even close,” I joked, putting on my lipgloss.

She groaned, “Ugh, I got myself into this.”

I opened the door, her jaw dropping as I did, “I’m just joking, my love. You ready?” She just eyed me appreciatively, mouth still agape. I closed it, smirking, “Don’t act like you’ve never seen me dressed up before. Come on, you have a surprise for me, don’t you?”

She cleared her throat, scratching her neck sheepishly, “Yeah um…right, right. C’mon, follow me, Bubs.”

I laced my fingers with hers, following her downstairs to the living room. As we reached the couch, she grabbed a strip of silk from the back of the couch, “Alright, time for my favorite part.”

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, yeah, get it over with, will you?”

She moved with the utmost delicacy and care, sweeping my hair behind my shoulders as she pulled the fabric over my eyes, securing it at the back of my head. She spoke softly in my ear, always with a flair for the dramatic, “Do you trust me?”

“With all of my being,” I whispered, a thrill running through my spine as she placed a kiss to the area behind my ear.

Her hand returned to mine and I followed quite blindly behind her as she led me through an unfamiliar feeling area and I tightened my hold on her hand, causing her to stroke her thumb over my knuckles, “Don’t worry, we’re almost there. It won’t take long at all, I promise.”

I felt her stop in front of me, taking my other hand into hers, “Okay so, before I untie your blindfold, I just want you to know that I promise I hid this place from you on purpose.”

“Will you just take this damned thing off of me?”

She reached around my head, untying the fabric, “Ready?”

Fighting the urge to reach up and snatch the blindfold off, I nodded, “Yes.” She pulled it away, my eyes taking a moment to focus on her before shifting to the scene behind her as I gasped, “What is that?”

She snickered, “It’s a garden, duh.”

And what a beautiful garden it was.

She led me closer to it, as I smiled, “Help- the fireflies?”

She grinned sheepishly, “I had nothing to do with that, but lucky us, I guess?”

I studied her shifty demeanor, noting how nervous she seemed, “Okay, what’s up with all this? What are you doing?”

She rolled her eyes, kissing the back of my knuckles, “You’re so impatient all the time, oh my God. Okay, okay…whew……I can do this.”

“Hey, eyes on me, loser. Breathe first,” I instructed.

She scrunched her nose in distaste, “Shut it. I’m getting to it, I swear. So, I know we’ve been together for 3 years, 9 months, and 13 days-“

“And why do you know that off the top of your head,” I questioned, half-shocked and half-enamored.

“Details, unimportant,” she responded, waving a hand as she continued, “Seeing that we’ve been together for almost 4 years now and are finally moving in together, I was nervous as hell, but I ultimately decided I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. With that being said,” she began, moving to get on her knee as she reached in her pocket.

I stopped her, shaking my head with a hand on her shoulder, “Wait, come here.”

She looked at me confused as she stood, hand still poised at her pocket, “Yeah?”

I reached for my own pocket with one hand, prompting her to continue with my other, “Nothing, go ahead.”

Things clicked as she pulled out a velvet box at the same time I pulled out a velvet bag and she palmed her forehead, chuckling softly, “God, and here I was worried that you’d have said no.”

I smiled, teasing, “Awww, you were stressing over little ole me? For the record not only am I saying yes, but it’s a hell yes times a bajillion.”

She took my free hand in hers, bringing it to her lips, “Well, I know that now, but can I ask properly? I did in fact have a proper speech in mind.”

“Who am I to deny you such a sweet request?”

She returned to her knee, stroking her thumb over my knuckles as she took a deep breath, looking up at me, “As I said earlier, I was nervous as hell, I spent the majority of the morning pulling out my hair back home about any and every worry under the sun, but talking to my moms reminded me why I want to ask you in the first place. I first switched to studying abroad in search of a greater muse than what I could find here in Italy. Luck would only have it that I ended up with you as my guide around London. You’ve been my inspiration, my best friend-don’t tell Valé I said that-my lover, and I want nothing more than to live the rest of my life with you by my side. With that all being said, yes I forgot half of what I wanted to say the second I saw you, I love you and it would do me a wonderful honor if you would marry me.”

I poked my lip out, “I would love to marry you, bichita. On one condition.”

“Yes,” she questioned, eyes still looking up at me full of love and hope.

I tugged her from her knee once more as I pulled out my mother’s engagement ring, “You have to agree to marry me as well.”

She smiled, eyes watering a bit as she opened the velvet box in her hand, revealing a ring I recognized all too well, “I do. Trust me, if nothing else, I will marry you, and start a family, and take care of you.”

I poked my lip out, chuckling through my tears, “Kingsley….is that…is that the ring from when your Ma proposed to Mumi?”

She nodded, “I had went and gotten a ring made for you but Mumi sent it over here by Valé earlier. So? You’re definitely saying 'yes' right now, right?”

I nodded as she took my hand, “Yes, baby. I’ll marry you.”

🤎©️ All work belongs to sexysapphicshopowner. Do not use or repost my content in any way without my consent or permission. Thank you! 🤎

🤎 Taglist 🤎:

@certainlmarseilleotasimp @trafalgardvivi

#💅🏾💋 paramour parlor 💋💅🏾#☀️🤎 summer collection 🤎☀️#©️ sexysapphicshopowner llc #wlw and nblw only #wlw ship #mdni #men dni #lesbian romance #soft lesbians #engagement #surprise #oc x oc ship #Spotify #wlw romance #sapphic #useless lesbians

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demarogue · 1 year

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Get to Know the Blogger

Tagged by @crackinglamb and @serial-chillr – thank you for thinking of me! Your answers are much cooler than mine will be. Stealing Serial’s strategy of telling the story with pictures.

Share your wallpaper: I once downloaded one of those “make your whole phone experience feel aesthetic” apps, and it was quite underwhelming, but I’ve kept the background.

Last song you listened to: I’m on a Bad Omens kick right now, and at any given moment I’d choose a different song from the new album but I think most recent is Like a Villain.

Currently reading: This range is weird AF, I admit. I’m also listening to ACOFAS and reading CC2 on kindle. Basically my adhd strategy is to have active reads all over the house so if I feel like reading, something is at hand. I had to run around to gather these, ha!

Last movie: John Wick, which...I dunno man, I’m tired. The first one was so good and now there’s just so much action and so little plot that the action feels tedious. Beautifully shot, though!

Last show: Sanditon season 3. LOVE a period drama, even a silly one.

Craving: Like Serial, I am also really craving spring and warm weather and gardening and hiking and and and. This winter has been SO long.

What are you wearing right now: Way more dressed up than usual LOL. Black cashmere sweater dress, leopard leggings, lined black knee-highs, leather jacket. Usually I’m in joggers and a sweater though. I’m trying to inject some mojo into my life with fashun.

How tall are you: somewhere between 5′9″ and 5′10″ (~177cm)

Piercings: Just ears, and fun fact, they are slightly uneven because I got them done at a mall kiosk when I was 9.

Tattoos: none yet, I have too many ideas and commitment issues.

Glasses? Contacts? Neither, I have annoyingly perfect vision

Last drink: matcha latte, and I am my own barista ;)

Last thing you ate: I am being extremely terrible about food right now but at least I’ve had a piece of toast with almond butter heh...I guess I’ll go downstairs and make lunch

Favorite color: no. I can’t do it.

Current obsession: I feel like I am too absorbed in my MFA to have an obsession outside of it, so I guess historical trends in architecture and design!?!? I’m digging the module we’re doing on Art Deco a lot.

Any pets: Dog and Cat – Grover and Weasel, respectively

Favorite fictional character: Sybel from The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by McKillip (as you can see I love McKillip with my whole heart)

The last place you traveled: Just got back from Maryland! I was in Baltimore and DC.

Tagging @ultadverb @thesistersarcheron @soopsiedaisies @skjalla I could keep going but if you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged by me. I love reading y’all’s answers!

#about me #about the blogger

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brasideios · 1 year

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Get to Know a Blogger

I was tagged by @aeide @mini-uzzy and @ainulindaelynn. Thank you my friends! 🤍

Share your wallpaper:

Last song you listened to: Maybe Tomorrow by the Stereophonics. I recently rediscovered this song after probably ten years of forgetting. Filled with pathos.

Currently reading: I just finished First Love by Ivan Turgenev. I think I’ll read Crime and Punishment next (Dostoyevsky) or War and Peace (Tolstoy). They’re both sitting by the bed, demanding my attention in equal measure.

Last movie: 200 Cigarettes! I recently dug out a story I wrote back in ‘99, and vaguely recalled I was trying to emulate this film. So I wanted to watch it to see how I did, but it wasn’t on any of the five streaming services I have access to (password sharing ftw) so I’d given up on finding it only to discover yesterday that the whole movie is up on Youtube. Happiest moment of my life! (I did badly, btw, with the emulation. In my defence, I’d just left high school 😆).

Last show: Umm... Band of Brothers a couple weeks back, I guess. Rewatching for the tenth time.

Craving: Coffee, as always :)

What are wearing right now: Pyjamas and a dressing gown because *finally* it’s cold in the mornings. Love autumn.

How tall are you: Just shy of six foot.

Piercings: Just my ears.

Tattoos: I have four. A made-up symbol on my ankle I got when I was 18 - literally the day I was legally allowed to get it 😊 I’d planned it for a year beforehand. The word Bittersweet on my back (’all in life is bitterwseet’ as I wrote in a poem at the time) when I was 23; A series of astrological symbols on my left inner forearm which represent me, my fam, and the people who were closest to me at the time. Got that on my 30th birthday in London. And most recently, at 33, a lucky year for me when a lot of things ended and I took back my power (a long, long journey) I marked it with a tattoo - it’s on the inside of my right arm, a feather quill, and the words, ‘... I meant what I said.’ Love tattoos! Would have so many more if I was rich.

Glasses? Contacts? Glasses. My vision isn’t too bad, just need them for reading. Lil long sighted.

Last thing you ate: I haven’t yet today, it’s still too early. Last night’s dinner was pasta bake with chorizo.

Favourite colour: Green, though I really love any colour that’s bright and clear - I am currently going through a phase of bright purples and pinks.

Current obsession: Two of my OC’s and their relationship development (Arity and Jimmy). Maybe also the temple complex I’m building in Minecraft 😅 I spent all day yesterday working on it and I am thinking I might do the same today.

Any pets: Otto Von Krum the schnauzer (my baby boy); Tiki Taco the chihuahua (Daddy’s girl); and Lady Pablo, aka Tiny Bun, my rescued house rabbit.

Favourite fictional character: Favourite? Like, out of all of them?? I couldn’t possibly choose.

The last place you travelled: Along the south coast of Western Australia, as far as Esperance. My favourite place we stopped, my favourite place in the world I think, is Denmark. It’s a beautiful town in amongst hills, with a wide green river flowing through it, surrounded by forests. It’s a different world. Oh, and it has the best pie-shop in the world too, which doesn’t hurt. [Meat pies, that is. Very Australian 😊]

I think everyone I would normally tag has been tagged! But just in case... @auroralykos @el-zorrito @cataliinaa and @theinkandthesea @dbraures @liminalspacecowboah @woodsman2b

#tag game #is me

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normal-goatboy · 1 year

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get to know the blogger questions

Tagged by @fandomn00blr thanks 💘 this is a good one. I’ll tag @pallas-cat @altonthebard @gentleranium @everybody-loves-mary (if you’re interested, no obligation ofc)

Share your wallpaper:

It’s this lol

Last song you listened to: Waitin’ On Ya - Genesis Owusu (an all time jam, the whole album rules)

Currently reading: just finished Severance by Ling Ma in one sitting on a plane. Really good, not what I expected, also the protagonist has the same name as me

Last movie: But I’m a Cheerleader. I’d never seen it, it’s great!

Last TV show: Veronica Mars. My friend was watching and kept getting mad at me for hating on Logan lol

Craving: soup dumplings

What are you wearing right now: checkerboard vans, leggings, a tee shirt w a cartoon duck holding a gun and a knife that says “welcome to bakersfield, NOW LEAVE,” and a beanie

How tall are you: 5'9

Piercings: just ears rn

Tattoos: in the order I got them: a flower, a ghost, a scissors, a cupid, a fucked up rat, a slice of pizza, and a panel from Calvin and Hobbes

Glasses or contacts: glasses, my eyesight is too bad for contacts I guess, but I keep a couple boxes on hand for costume purposes

Last drink: water

Last thing you ate: Taco Bell on the way home from the airport

Favorite color: idk probably black or some sort of dark green

Current obsession: maybe more of a morbid fascination, but the history of the “troubled teen industry” (if you don’t know: sadistic youth programs you would not believe are legal in the US)

Any pets: a fluffy trash cat named Lila

Favorite fictional character: this is a cruel question, how am I supposed to choose (atm it’s Lucius Spriggs WWLD)

The last place you traveled: DC/Baltimore, miss it already

#tag

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sarah-dipitous · 10 months

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 337

The Heroes’ Journey/Praxeus

“The Heroes’ Journey”

Plot Description: the Winchesters are Wisconsin-bound to help an old friend, where they discover a very unique fight club—and wind up in need of some help themselves

Don’t take the gun you haven’t used in a long time!! That just screams “will go off at the wrong time” or “won’t go off when you need it”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: idk what kind of fight club this is (but it’s definitely with monsters), and no…No I would not live

Heck yeah!! I saw Garth’s actor’s name in the creditsss

Is Chuck making all these things go wrong for the boys?? It’s a bunch of small stuff but it’s a BUNCH of small stuff.

And one BIG thing…Baby breaking down

Omg Garth has a KID. He has SEVERAL kids. He named his twin boys Sam and……….naturally………Castiel

When did Garth take up dentistry? Oh, did we KNOW he killed the tooth fairy while in dentist school? And then he took up hunting? And now he’s back and doing dentistry for all the werewolves?

Garth’s kid just called Sam The Giant lmao

What is happening in this house?!? Why is Garth’s wide ignoring Sam writhing on the floor in pain AND her children’s crying…and the knock out gas Garth put Dean under has turned this into an old timey musical? We really have time for this?????

What I would give to have video of Jensen practicing tap dancing

Garth knowing and loving his place as special guest star in Chuck’s is great

I did not need to know that he and his wife love Fifty Shades

Aw, the boys lost their main character energy in their own story

Did Dean become lactose intolerant?? Shouldn’t have eaten those seven grilled cheese sandwiches

Of course they have to participate in the fight club, no weapons, no nothin

Who got—are we ACTUALLY rewinding time or just SEEING what happened? Dean marveling at how strong Garth is since becoming a werewolf 💀

(I had to delete a whole paragraph because I didn’t know of the existence of a 1987 movie AND got the name of the alien basketball team from Space Jam wrong in one go. It was embarrassing)

Garth blew up the fight club…literally

Actually this fight between the boys and the monster they were supposed to fight makes my embarrassing moment look like nothing

Weirdly, I hope this is the last we see if Garth. I just want nothing bad to happen to him

So, next time (maybe) they’ll be in Alaska trying to get their MC mojo back

“Praxeus”

Hey. So. Here’s a fun fact. Um. My max app fucked up…and I skipped an episode?? So now I think I have to go back and watch THAT episode tonight. So this takes place before the last two Doctor Who episodes I’ve watched………this is the time travel fuckery show

Plot Description: what connects a missing astronaut in the Indian Ocean, birds behaving strangely in Peru, and a US naval officer who washes up on a Madagascan beach? Team TARDIS investigates

Wait, is Team TARDIS split up between these destinations?? Oh. They sent Ryan on his own to Peru while Yaz and Graham are in Hong Kong, and the Doctor is in Madagascar

Why is this woman so suspicious of Ryan?? OH! She’s kind of a celebrity (famous blogger)

UM…that dude just, like, turned to stone or shell and POOF into billions of pieces

Actually, I appreciate that Ryan’s trusted to do this part on his own. He’s usually treated as the least intelligent of the team (not unintelligent but the least intelligent of the bunch)

She’s got the same stuff on her as the naval officer

What did that astronaut do to piss off those aliens?? (I’m guessing aliens due to the laser guns)

I LOVE Ryan, actually. He’s a sweetie and so good with people who are in crisis and just…he cares a lot about doing the right thing even if he doesn’t have all the answers

DO THEY LET RYAN ASK THE SIMPLER QUESTIONS SO THEY DONT LOOK STUPID?? Graham just admitted he didn’t know what a pathogen is after Ryan asked…(the astronaut has been infected with an alien pathogen)

Yaz and the blogger are about to follow the alien through a teleporter. Huh…the naval officer’s submarine (or at least part of it)

I know Doctor Who has partly tackled political topics relevant to our times in the past but I really do feel like they’re giving 13 a really large number of episodes that seem a little preachy. This one’s mostly about micro plastics and ocean pollution…which OBVIOUSLY are terrible things we need to do things about but the way it’s presented in context is just…I dunno. Again, a good thing this is mostly a family show because the only people they’d convince with this is children. You’re not going to sway adults

You know, I also should have been more suspicious of this super over equipped lab on a beach

I really need the astronaut to live

Look, I know she and her crew used earth as a Petri dish to find a cure for a disease that destroyed her planet’s population but I don’t think she deserved to die

But they did find a cure for humans so I guess it’s ok then?

Blogger is the Donatello of this episode: the only one having a normal, reasonable reaction to everything that’s happening

I know I said I needed the astronaut to live but I should have specified that his husband should live too. Just didn’t think I needed to. Oh thank god. He’s safe

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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unknowninformation · 10 months

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Learn about the blogger

Rules: Tag 20 followers you want to know better!!! Name: Diana Iris Star Sign: Gemini Gender: Female Height: 5′3"? Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual Favorite Color: Any color the ocean depicts Time Right Now: 10:02 P.M. Current Location: Santa Barbara, California Average Hours of Sleep: I struggle between sleeping a lot and not sleeping enough Lucky Number: 9 Last Thing I Googled: Number of Blankets I Sleep Under: 2 or 3 Favorite Fictional Characters: Buttercup from PPG, Daria, and Spinelli from Recess Favorite Book: Favorite Artists/Bands: Jack Johnson, The Strokes, Los Lobos, Maná, Juanes, Intocable, Frank Sinatra, Sublime, RHCP, , Foo Fighters, Los Lonely Boys, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Vampire Weekend, Kendrick Lamar, Los Cojolites, John Mayer, Dream Job: Ideally it would be to get paid to travel around the world while running my own private practice as a physician! What I’m Wearing: Black skinny jeans and a blue flannel with a black t-shirt Random Fact: My grandpa lived to be 106 When Did You Create Your Blog?: Fall of 2013 Do You have other blogs: IDK if my photography instagram account counts? Who Is Your Most Active Follower?: @solo-cinco-pesos (: What Made You Get A Tumblr?: My friend got me on here and I’ve been since :l lol Do You Get Asks On A Daily Basis?: Never 😩 please flood my inbox with whatever Why Did You Choose Your Url?: I Was Tagged By: @xochi-yotl I’mma tag: @exxxmilitary @solo-cinco-pesos@arabiaanoush @allthingserene @babygviirl@tatted-black-widow @yagirlneo @mami-tamale@unknowninformation @muslame @ahh-dilene@chucachula @walternotfromhere@edaciousbeing @jannirosee @ebullienceeex@wander-lust07 @rrrodilla @la-gatagitana@heroxnn @jvnlxii @lolitadelpizza and I guess anyone else who wants to do this thing also. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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ajoytobeheld · 11 months

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Love, peace, and harmony, or: how I fell in love with The Courteeners

March 26th, 2009

Two years ago, it seemed I bumbled around interviews talking about how much I hated specific bands. It’s not that I like those bands now, I just realise how stupid a topic of conversation it is. It wasn’t entirely my fault. A lot of music journalists (primarily in the UK) very much saw LC! as fitting a gap they had, and so a lot of interviews we did were primarily intended to get us to talk about how British music was in a rut, ‘lad rock’ sucked and how nobody else ‘got it’ like we did. I guess we found it edgy and exciting at the time, to be seen (even by just a few) as being renegades, but now it’s mostly a little embarrassing.

Last night I went to see Morrissey play at Webster Hall. The Courteeners opened up. The Courteeners rose to prominence (?) in the summer of 2007 I think. We were in the US for that time, and when we got back from the UK and I saw some magazine with them on the cover (NME, maybe?), I had no idea who they were. I felt like my Grampy.

I stood on the balcony, watching their set, right next to their parents. After every song, a gent who I think was probably the singer’s father, wooped “come on Liam! Give it to ‘em”. Exactly like my dad does when he watches us play (sometimes my Dad calls me Liam). And the mothers danced and clapped along out of time. And smiles didn’t leave their faces the whole half an hour (The crowd’s reaction to the band was indifferent. It was always going to be though, because Morrissey fans don’t want to see anybody but Morrissey, do they?). The parents looked so proud. And that feeling of being thousands of miles from home, watching your sons play their songs in front of a couple of thousand people in New York City, cannot and will not be beaten, I’d imagine. And the feeling of seeing your parents that proud is pretty rad too. So yeh, I’m making even more of an effort not to slag bands any more. Because we are all our parents’ children, or something, and it’s fucking boring, and it’s much more productive to talk about the positives, anyway. RIGHT BLOGGERS!?

ANYWAYS, MOZ.

Was good. Here are some notes:

$9 for a bottle of beer is fucking disgusting Webster Hall. As if a $75 ticket wasn’t insult enough.

Opening with ‘This Charming Man’. Can’t remember being overcome by such uncontrollable smiles in a long time.

Morrissey’s band is amazing. The five of them were never completely overshadowed by Moz. Surges to the front of the stage, rockstar poses, balancing guitars on their heads. It was a SHOW!!

I watched an episode of Home Movies on my iPod whilst waiting for the music to start. It was the Pizza Club one. Really good episode.

Idiot man at the bar: “what is this spoken word stuff playing? Who put this on?”. MORRISSEY PUT IT ON, YOU R-TARD!

Morrissey: I think you should wear a belt. Middle aged men in light denim without a belt just makes me think of Clarkson.

Might get quiff.

One of the worst practices in the music biz: making support bands price match the headlining band’s merch. Come on guys.

Morrissey has a PETA stall traveling on tour with him. This is the coolest thing I have ever seen Moz, well done. But when are you gonna go vegan? [citation needed]

Watching people try to get onstage to touch Morrissey is the closest thing to religion I have ever experienced. I’m gonna try to touch Morrissey when we play at Coachella.

At the back of the balcony, too far away to see, girls ballroom style danced, together. Amazing.

Here’s a clip of Moz playing ‘How Soon Is Now’. It’s only about 60 seconds long, because it suddenly dawned on me:

“I am at a Morrissey concert, and I’m taking a really shit quality video, watching the song through an inch square screen, so I can put it on my blog, what the fuck am I doing, LOOK WHAT I’VE BECOME!! I am here alone, this song is SO TOTALLY ABOUT ME!! Work with it.“.

#2009 #lc!blog

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yusufalioglu · 1 year

Video

Forgotten by Yusuf Alioğlu Via Flickr: Forgotten My Interplanetary Memories Interplanetary Travel I think I'm going to die far away from earth, deep in space. Honestly, I'm too lazy to go back to planet Earth. It's exciting to think about what I need to do after returning to Earth, but it's also very frightening. I guess I'm an extremely lazy person. I know that my spacecraft will return to Earth on autopilot. "Well, why are you being lazy then? Go back to Earth now!" Anyway, that's not the part I'm lazy about. This is the part that scares me. Returning to Earth scares me. The part that bothers me is the life I will live after I return to the world. I will have to start everything from scratch. I will be like a grown human being reborn. When I come back to Earth, I will witness the continued lives of all my acquaintances. I will be re-involved in their lives, which I have not been involved in for years. Of course, this will be difficult for them as well. Maybe I'll never come across them. It would be better for them and for me as well. I don't know. It may seem absurd to you to think about all these details while I haven't made a decision on whether I will return to the world or not. But there's nothing to do in this deep vacuum of space. I have plenty of free time to think and dream. However, making a decision is quite difficult when you are on your own. I would even say near impossible. I feel like I've been forgotten. Camera: Canon EOS Kiss X7i Photograph by Yusuf Alioglu Location: Outer space (space) Facebook Become a Patron! Instagram (Yusuf Alioglu Photography) Instagram (UnbornArt) Twitter Youtube iStock Blogger Vimeo UnbornArt deviantART Tumblr Check out this portfolio on Shutterstock! Camera: Canon EOS Kiss X7i Photograph by Yusuf Alioglu Location: Outer space (space) Facebook Become a Patron! Instagram (Yusuf Alioglu Photography) Instagram (UnbornArt) Twitter Youtube iStock Blogger Vimeo UnbornArt deviantART Tumblr Check out this portfolio on Shutterstock!

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lumos0lux · 1 year

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🌸 Planet of Seandhrîel, my DnD world 🌸

Hi there! It’s been a while! How have you been? Here is my life update :)

I’ve been having an art block, a writers block... well a life block to be super honest. Exhaustion from work started it all. I have been on 0 energy for far to long and last October took out the last of me. I had another identity crisis, came out as Jenny (she/her) again, I finally quit my job, and slept for about half a year. I started a new (part-time) job at the end of January and been slowly crawling back to enjoying life a bit more.

I still don’t feel complete however. The job that I have now is a night-time job (I LOVE IT) so I go to work in the middle of the night, come home in the morning, sleep until 1-2 pm and then I’m free for the rest of the day. My problem here is that I don’t do anything during the day. I sit in my bed or at my desk and watch YouTube videos. Mostly either Critical Role, and daydream about playing DnD, or vlogs and daydream about doing vlogs. Which just makes me sad because here I am doing neither of these things. I in fact don’t do anything. I do so little that even my introverted cat things I’m boring...

So that is what I’m currently panicking about. I know I still need rest as this level of exhaustion from work isn’t something that is cured in a few months even if work and the doctors think it is, I know it is okay that I have days were I just lay in bed and watch other peoples vlogs... but every day? No! I want to get up an do things. I want to get back into a more active life style. Have a routine again. Exercise, do sports, do art, go out, travel, meet people, study. HAVE A LIFE.

One adventure is planned, next October I will travel to a place that is very near and dear to my heart and I will tell you more about it then 💕 At least I hope I can go on that trip, I need a bit more money than I have and make now, so I’m still searching for another job, plus I really want to open an art shop. I have ideas but art block and fear is still holding me back.

I need to push that fear down. I really want to open this shop. I really do want to do all the art I have planned out. I also want to get back into blogging regularly, both here on tumblr, but I also made a new blog on blogger. I love watching weekly/daily vlogs and I always wanted to make them as well, so that is another goal. Do a vlog and write something similar on my blog. Weekly blogs and weekly vlogs. One problem I have with vlogs is that I’m not a talkative person... at all, as I said, even my cat things I’m boring... BUT lately I have discovered “silent vlogs”, I don’t know if that is an actual term but I have come to call them that haha. The vlogger doesn’t talk and rarely even show their face. Just put on some lovely music in the background, if they want to say something they put it in the subtitles. I love it. So maybe I’ll start there?

Mostly I just want to start doing things. Even little things. Can be as little as blowing bubbles or going on a picnic to the ocean. If you have any ideas, please do share. I’ve seen people on tiktok doing similar “challenges”, get out there, do small fun things every day. Tiktok in general would also be fun, I have about 2 videos on my tiktok, lol. But again, then I have to be talky, and I’m not a talker. I guess that could be a challenge in itself. Become a talker. Isn’t the goal here to become a bubbly happy person?

#Life update #hello it is me #I'm back maybe #Artist on tumblr #what is life #I want a life #send help

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adventuresinclientservice · 2 years

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Some people retire, others don’t; why is that?

Years ago, deathly afraid of going under the knife to have my hip replaced – a gruesome amputation if you think about it too much – but equally alarmed that I was a 60-some-year-old who hobbled like an 80-year-old (could someone get me a walker?), I visited Dr. John Diana, the orthopedic surgeon who would (might?) perform the procedure.

I was worried beyond reason; Dr. Diana was calm and patient beyond all expectation. Among the gazillion questions I posed during my interrogation, one was foremost:

“How often have you performed this surgery?”

“About fifteen hundred times in the last year.”

Dr. D is younger than me, I’m guessing late 40s, but even if he was exaggerating – maybe he’s done the surgery 1,500 times in his career instead of in a year – his point was hard to miss: “I’ve done this a lot; I know what I’m doing.” That’s what any reasonable, panic-stricken person (me) would want: someone who isn’t doing the surgery for the first time, or the fifth time, or even the 50th time.

Experience counts.

When to say when.

Unless you are a fellow fan of U.S. sports, you likely missed the New York Times story, “The Tom Brady of Other Jobs,” about the undisputed, age-defying leader of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers football team. Who continues to play a brutal, take-no-prisoners game at 45? Only one person, one who many consider to be the game’s GOAT (greatest of all time).

According to Times reporter Francesca Paris,

“Starting at quarterback at 45 is akin to being a family doctor well into his ninth decade. It’s like being an emergency medical technician — a job that requires running up stairs and lifting bodies on stretchers — at age 70. Or an artist in her 90s, a logger in his 80s or a biologist in her 70s.”

Paris then provides proof of these other, I’m-not-ready-to-retire, age-be-dammed practitioners, describing the work of a host of productive professional contributors, all 70-, 80-, and yes, 90-years young.

What about a 72-year-old Account person?

For many, advertising is a young person’s business; realist that I am, it prompted me to exit working for others – mostly soulless, publicly traded, bottom-line-focused international holding companies -- when I turned 49, but it didn’t stop me from forging a second act as a client service author, workshop leader, executive coach, and weekly blogger. In the pre-Covid years since, I’ve traveled the country, trying to help people get better at what they do. I continue to coach, I continue to consult, and I continue to write Adventures.

When someone asks what it’s like to work with someone who has nearly 40 years in the business (me again), I respond by pointing out that I’m way faster than my younger colleagues, that I get it right the first time not the fifth time, that nothing is new to me, given I’ve witnessed and addressed just about every problem or opportunity you could think of. All of which makes me like Doctor D, the surgeon who engenders confidence through vast, first-hand experience in the OR.

Experience counts.

This Sunday, after I put a client letter of proposal to bed, I spent time writing most of what you’re reading now. Nothing special about this – lots of people work weekends -- except it was my birthday, which some might think is a pretty good reason to take the day off.

I didn’t have to work – no deadline pressure was staring me down – but I wanted to work because I like to work. I derive tremendous satisfaction thinking about client challenges and how I might address them, or helping a colleague navigate an issue or opportunity they’re maybe seeing for the first time, but I’ve encountered many times.

I’m not a Tom Brady fan, and I’m not his banker, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t still playing football for the money (he’s made more than enough). My guess is he loves to compete, enjoys (at least some of) his colleagues and coaches, maybe even gets a charge out of proving doubters wrong. The other Tom Brady’s in the Times article? Each has their reasons; none are about money.

I’m not doing it for the money either. I do it because I love doing it. One day that might end, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

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curseofaphrodite · 3 years

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How to Ruin a Wedding Sherlock x fem!reader

Summary: While solving a case in a wedding, Sherlock and John stumbles upon you. | fluff

Writer’s note: Not me combining two requests, let’s goo. | Requested by @rat-typewriter and @sheraayasher

[tw: alcohol, swearing] | masterlist

gif source

The bright lights didn’t help John and Sherlock mix in with the crowd. They were getting curious glances every few seconds and John was only half-surprised.

What else was he expecting while gatecrashing a wedding reception of people they’ve never met before?

You noticed these two standing well behind others, murmuring to themselves as if they hate everyone at the party. The tall one seemed familiar somehow, though you couldn't place your finger on why.

You grabbed two drinks from a passing-by waiter and made your way towards them.

Sherlock was glaring at you even before you came within talking distance. John followed his eyes and saw you, and made a confused HUH sound.

“Do you know her?” He asked quietly.

“No, she doesn’t know us either,” Sherlock replied with no doubt in his voice.

“Is she connected with the case?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Then why is she—”

“Hello boys! Champagne?” You interrupted their conversation brightly, handing out the glasses. John accepted one cautiously, but Sherlock simply shook his head.

You shrugged and started drinking it yourself. Sherlock’s frown only got deeper.

“Lovely day, isn’t it?” John asked pleasantly. He just didn’t want to create more suspicions by seeming distant.

“Oh yes, very. Are you with the bride or the groom?” You asked.

“Uhm,” John looked at Sherlock helplessly.

“I was one of the bridesmaids,” you added.

“Then we’re definitely with the groom. I used to be, uh, his roommate,” he eased, shaking your hands. Sherlock only rolled his eyes.

“I’m actually friends with the groom too,” you laughed. “So far, I wasn’t aware of any roommates? Doesn’t Jack live with his parents?”

“Oh yes, he does,” John quickly retracted. “This was so long ago. I used to be his roommate.”

“His name isn’t even Jack,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“If it’s that obvious we don’t know anyone at this party, you can just point it out instead of the dramatics,” Sherlock said, his eyes scanning the crowds.

“You’d have denied it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I can guess.”

“You think you’re smart but you’re not,” he looked at you momentarily, then nodded towards the glass you were holding. “Start from what you’re drinking. That’s not champagne, it’s white wine. Much cheaper.”

“Oh,” you raised the glass to observe the contents, then gave up and drank all of it. “So, who are you guys?”

“No one,” Sherlock said sharply.

John was kinder. “He’s just moody, don’t mind him.”

“That’s a pretty name. Want to dance, Moody?”

“No,” Sherlock said, his voice even sharper. Your eyes traveled down his well-defined cheekbones, slightly parted lips, and halted at the knife hidden behind his jacket.

“Uhm, I’ll just go,” you started looking for the security, but upon hearing the sudden uncertainty in your voice, Sherlock connected the dots and pulled your wrist.

“Woah,” John tried to mask what was happening by standing in front of you, and pulled apart his friend’s hands from yours before anyone else would see it.

“She was going to call the security,” Sherlock voiced your plan while you stood there rubbing your wrist.

“Yes, you have a bloody knife with you!”

“The knife is not bloody yet.”

“I meant that bloody as in — you’ve got a fucking knife with you!”

“Well, I’m not allowed to carry guns anymore.”

John had enough. “Okay, Sherlock, zip it. Now. And uhm,” he coughed before turning to you. “We’re with the Scotland Yard,” he added. “The bride, Kate, has reported a stalker. We’re sure he’s sure tonight so this is all official business.”

“Oh, you’re the hat guy from the newspapers!” You recounted excitedly. “And you’re the blogger!”

“I despise that hat,” Sherlock mumbled.

“Then why do you keep wearing it?” You asked, almost smirking.

“It’s comfortable!”

“Okay no, people, let’s focus here,” John’s voice interrupted. “Now that you’re sure we’re not of any harm, would you leave us be?”

“You expect me to act normal when there’s Kate’s stalker among us?” You hissed. “Who is it?”

“We don’t know yet.”

“I have a plan,” Sherlock spoke up.

“We’re not doing that one.”

“Why not?”

“Lestrade said no!”

“Since when have we listened to Lestrade?”

“What plan? Who’s Lestrade?” You asked, watching the interaction like it’s a tennis match.

“This is not your concern,” Sherlock snapped.

“Or maybe it is,” John said quickly. “We certainly can’t do it, but she can. Besides, she knows the bride.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes!” You said, though you have no idea what you were signing up for.

“Still no.”

“It’s two against one, sorry pal,” you said, sighing dramatically.

“You’ll regret this,” Sherlock said with a smile on his face.

“Right,” John gave you a piece of paper. “We start with a ransom note.”

When you were getting ready to attend the wedding reception, the only concern you had was if you should wear the red dress or black.

Now here you are, writing a ransom note with strangers who are probably just messing with you.

“Is this good?” You asked, showing it to John. “And just to be clear, I distract the bride, and the stalker is obsessive so he’ll follow us. This note is only going to be used as proof that Kate’s kidnapped IF the stalker doesn’t follow us, right? I won’t get in trouble?”

“No you won’t. We just need Kate out of the way.”

“Isn’t that a bit too much though? Is any of this Scotland Yard approved?”

“Nothing we do is Scotland Yard approved,” Sherlock said, looking at the note over John’s shoulder. “And you forgot an ‘and’ before the word expect.”

“It’s a ransom note, I don’t think they care about errors.” You said, rolling your eyes.

“I may do a lot of morally questionable activities, but I draw the line at bad grammar.”

“You’re annoying,” you grumbled under your breath, though you did rewrite it.

The next phase of the plan was surprisingly easy. The bride was one of your best friends, so when you said you weren’t feeling well and that you might puke, she insisted on accompanying you to the toilet.

“I bet it’s the shrimps,” Kate complained all the while. “God, I told mother not to order shrimps!”

“It’s fine, I’ll just need to stay here for a while,” you said, pointing to the bathroom stall.

You were unsure exactly how long though. If what Sherlock said was true, the man would be following you, and John had promised to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious. You hoped you didn’t go asking for harm tonight, that too with your best friend.

“Take your time, I’ll be right outside,” she said kindly.

You nodded gratefully and closed the door of the toilet, waiting for god-knows-what.

But sudden footsteps made you sit up straighter.

Could it be the person?

You heard the creak of the main door opening, so you popped the head out of your stall to see whether there was anyone new outside.

“Babe, this is the women’s restroom,” Kate said to someone standing before her. You gasped and thereby let your presence be known.

“You’re the one who sent the threats!” You said loudly, looking at Kate’s new husband. It might not have been the smartest decision you’ve made in your life, and judging by how he took a knife out of his jacket — definitely not.

“What is up with people and knives today?” You wondered out loud, before you could even start to panic.

“Wait, you’re — you’re the stalker?” Kate asked, as if it made no sense. In a way, it didn’t. But there were more unexplained mysteries in this world than people who obsess over their partners to a point where it’s not healthy.

“Come with me,” he said blankly, and Kate took a step backwards.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

He lashed at her with the knife and you saw it fit to jump in between them, which resulted in you and Kate crashing to the floor and him being momentarily distracted.

The door opened then, and some cops came inside, accompanied by Sherlock and John. While the latter helped Kate stand up, the former looked at you with what almost looked like concern.

“You know that stunt could have ended up with you dead, right?” He asked as you stood up and watched the groom being taken away.

“But I didn’t,” you smiled widely. “And hey, you know what I just realized just now? Waffles are pancakes — but with abs. Get it?”

He did not laugh. “You almost died and you’re making corny jokes?”

“Possibly, what else are weddings for?”

Once the confusion died out, everyone was still inside the event hall. Some of them wanted to know more details, and some were simply there to console Kate. She was fine though. A bit rattled, but overall fine.

Sherlock stood beside the food and drinks, waiting for John. He spotted you dancing underneath the lights to music that no one had bothered turning off. He scoffed to himself, then watched in amazement as the bride herself joined, circling with you around the room, spinning and twirling like two idiots having the time of their lives.

It was a strange reaction on Kate’s part, but it seemed like she was saying to everyone in the room — yes-my-husband-is-actually-pretty-fucking-creepy-and-tried-to-kill-me-and-my-friend-but-I-will-not-let-that-piece-of-shit-ruin-my-day.

“What are you doing?” Sherlock heard someone (possibly Kate’s mother) yell at the duo.

“I paid for the flowers,” Kate yelled back for everyone to hear. “I might as well fucking dance.”

You whistled and continued jumping around, and soon, more people started entering the empty spaces, their feet in rhythm to the music.

You had officially bought the party back alive.

When John did show up, Sherlock seemed reluctant to move.

“Uhm, hello?” He called, waving his hands in front of his face. “Lestrade wants us at his office to talk about the case.”

“Actually, you go ahead,” Sherlock replied, his eyes still resting on you. “I think I owe someone a dance.”

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