#guess i'll stay home and write 🤣

[soaps-mohawk]

Hi!!!

So, this is not a COD related question, but I was wondering if you've ever been to one of those national parks on the west coast? I know just because you live over there doesn't automatically mean you've been, but I was just wondering if maybe you have and what it's like. I've never been camping or hiking, but for some reason I've been really wanting to go lately.

Also, I hope you've been having a good day! Apparently today is world piano day lol

I've been to a handful of National Parks in my time. Not so much recently, but when I was younger. The one I've been to the most is Crater Lake. Beautiful place, definitely worth the trip every time. Idk I'm a geology person, so it's fascinating to me standing on the edge of what was once a giant super volcano and now is a lake. I've never taken a trip out onto the lake to Wizard Island though, so I feel like I need to go back again and do that.

I've seen Mount Rainier sooooo many times, but I've never actually been to the park itself. That's a goal of mine, though. I'd love to climb it someday too.

My 5th grade class went to the San Juan Islands and got to see all kinds of things while we were there. It's such a beautiful area and I'd love to go back. We didn't get to see any orcas when we went, so that's definitely something on the bucket list.

I've also been to the Redwoods National Park in Norhern Cali. Really beautiful, and the trees are stunningly huge. Pictures definitely don't do them justice on their size. We didn't do much in terms of exploring the forest since my grandparents were with us when we went, but we did a bit of driving through some areas.

I have this dream of being more outdoorsy but I'm such a homebody lol. I think it didn't help that I grew up with parents who believed vacations were for relaxing not exploring. They wanted to sit on the beach for five days and chill while I wanted to go explore and walk around museums and go hiking. I'd still love to do that stuff someday, though.

[randofics]

I really love the way you write your transformer fics. Can you please write one when reader is on her period if you don't mind 🙏🏽

Of course honey! And thanks! Wasn't sure who you wanted, so I just decided on Smokescreen cause he seems like he'd be very helpful with everything. Also, it's a few days after you asked, and I just got my period, too, so I guess you asked at the perfect time. We both need some extra support while we go through this crap.

Closer to the end, the whole atmosphere changes, and you can really tell where my mood swings due to crazy hormones. I was in pretty strong pain then stopped writing for an hour, and when I started again, I was just really... well, yall know what I mean. 🤪🤣

******************

You woke up early due to severe cramps, and after a quick trip to the bathroom and one to the kitchen to take pain medication, you went straight back to bed. Luckily, the meds kicked in pretty quickly, and you slept another few hours.

When Smokescreen pulled into your driveway and you didn't come out for several minutes, he started to get worried. You almost always immediately came out when he pulled up, and even when you didn't, it wasn't that long before you did come walking out. He called your phone, and it rang for a moment before you finally picked up.

Your voice was drousy and weak sounding when you spoke. "Smoke? What are you doing calling me?"

"I'm in your driveway, and you didn't come out, so I decided to call you. Are you ok? Cause you sound terrible."

"Oh, sorry, I was out like a light and didn't hear you. And I'm ok. I'll just stay home today." You most definitely didn't sound ok, and he couldn't just leave you here by yourself when you weren't feeling well. Maybe if he could get you back to base Mrs. Darby could check you out.

With his processor made up, he told you he was coming in to get you. Using his holoform, he got the spare key from under the flowerpot on the porch and opened your door. Walking inside, he navigated his way to your room. Your door was open, and he heard shuffling inside.

He peaked around the doorframe, scanning the room for you. You were curled into a ball on your bed, and the phone was still in your hand. When he walked in, you looked up at him sleepily, a frown on your face. "You look like you were attacked by a swarm of scraplets."

"Feels like one's chewing up my insides." Your grim visuals would've made any autobot queasy. He made a face of disgust and unease with your own expression not changing. "I need to take another pill. Can you carry me to the kitchen?" He nods and moves to the edge of your bed, picking you up bridal style. You hooked your arms around his neck as he carried you out of the room.

You hadn't seen his holoform very often. He almost never used it. But you couldn't lie about how attractive he was to you in either form. He looked like a typical circut driver, slim but relatively well built, and now you knew he was strong enough in this form to carry you like this.

If you were feeling better, you would probably be a blushing mess, but right now, it was just great to feel "human" contact. He set you on your feet close to the cabinet you pointed to, and when you struggled to reach the ibuprofen with the pain keeping you from moving much, he stood behind you with a hand on the counter and reached up easily grabbing it. "Do you mind pouring me some juice? The cups are in that cabinet over there."

As you leaned on the counter, he poured you some juice and watched you pop a pill swallowing it down with a sip of the drink. "Ok, I'll need to use the bathroom before we leave." You started to walk on your own, but he stopped you swooping you up again and taking you back down the hall to your bathroom. "You need to wait out here, ok? I'll just be a minute."

Patiently, he waited for you, and when you came out, he scooped you up again. "You need anything else before we leave?"

"My purse and my ibuprofen bottle." He nodded. "I'll come back in and grab them for you." With that, he took you outside to his alt, setting you down in the passenger seat. You watched him run back in, and for a minute, he was gone.

He jogged back out, stopping to hide your spare key and to lock your door. He slid into the driver's seat, holding your purse out for you to take. You grabbed it with one hand, the other pulling him to you by his jaw so you could give him a peck on the cheek.

He was momentarily stunned at your sudden effection. You gave him as big a smile as you could muster, and before you could turn away, he swooped in kissing you. You were surprised but relaxed into him. After a few beats, you pulled away slowly, looking him in the eye. He cleared his throat awkwardly and put his hands on the wheel, flexing his fingers nervously. "That... that was nice."

He peals out of your driveway and gets onto the neighborhood street. "If I weren't feeling so bad, I'd want to keep whatever that was going." You leaned over the center console on your elbow, giving him a look that had him hitting the breaks.

He looked at you clearly frazzled and blushing hard. "You... we can't... I mean, I... ugh, you can't just go saying stuff like that!" His hands drug across his face before he shook his head to clear it. "I really need to get you to Ms. Darby, you aren't acting right. We can talk about this later, so just get comfortable and get some rest."

The ibuprofen was finally helping a lot with the pain, but your hormones were surging, and you suddenly wanted to jump his bones. You held back, though, at his promise to talk about it later. "How about we go for a ride when I'm better?"

The way you said that had his engine sputtering for a moment, and he looked back at you grinning at him like the Cheshire cat. He was blushing harder if it was even possible. "Just take a nap, please. I know you need it."

"I will right after you answer a question." He let out a sigh. "What's your question?"

"Would you rather do it in the front seat or on your hood?"

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A SPARK ATTACK!"

[windsweptinred]

Shipper tag game

Thank you for the tag @marvagon, you glorious human 💖💖💖.

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

None. I may not be as passionate about them as I once was. But I still hold all my past ships near and dear to my heart. I'll even occasionally nip into their tags on A03 and have a dip into newer fics.

What ship would you consider your first one?

Daiken/Kensuke from Digimon 02. I remember watching it on Saturday morning and wondering if anyone else was seeing what I was seeing. That led me to discover Fanfiction.net. And the rest is history...

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

My very first full length fic was Corinthiel, posted here on Tumblr. My first fic posted on AO3 was Dreamling, and I wrote both last year. I am a very, very, very late comer to fanfic 😅. I'm honestly much more at home drawing fanart then writing. But will occasionally give into temptation, when an idea obbsessively hounds me to the point of insanity.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

I genuinely can't. 😅 I remember it was probably on deviantart.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

I try desperately to stay out of ship discourse. To me people's ships are their joy... And I've got no interest in being a theif of joy. If there's something I want to see more of in the fandom, like a rare pair I'm fond of, I just try and create content and hope someone else joins in (@bobbole loves you 💚🤍😅) . If it's not for me, I just keep scrolling on by.

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

Again, no. I've always been happy to pick and mix my ships. I have my favorites ofcourse. But I've never outright refused to dip my toe into any ship. Maybe if it ventured into an area I personally deemed problematic. But mostly, I'm happy to try anything once.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

I'm currently reading Remy Lebeau x Logan fanfic from Xmen. 😅 What sent me in that direction, I do not know. But I've found some amazing new fics in and amongst revisiting some old favourites.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I can proudly say until recently I've never had an OTP. Being a multishipper makes that kind of hard. But I don't know, I may be in too deep with Corinthiel. I'm not sure I could picture Danny and the Second Corinthian with anyone else but each other now. (Curse you @ibrithir-was-here. See what you have wraught! 😆). Them and Charmes (Charon x Hermes) from Hades. Because why would you split up the professional associates like that?! (Again very much your fault @mashumaru 😆) , Damn, I guess I've got OTPs now. If there's an established, happy couple in canon, most of the time I'll respect that and leave them be. So I guess that kind of counts too.

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Again no. If the juggernaut ship of a fandom doesn't really tickle my fancy, I'll sometimes stare forlornly at it. And sigh like a sad bohemian poet. But that's all content envy and I know it. 😆

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

🤔 I didn't dislike it, but I never really ventured near Corintheus until I started shipping Corinthiel. That made me backtrack and consider Morpheus and the original Corinthian's relationship from an entirely different perspective.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

No I don't think so. As far as know they're all still alive, well and for the most part, living in peace and harmony in their respective fandoms.

What is your favorite crack ship?

Bookend, Destiny and his Book. The old book and chain. Living their best, grumpy old married couple, life together. @jazzy-a 🤜🤛🤣.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Most recently was Dreamling. I'm a bit of fandom butterfly at the moment, fluttering between multiple fandoms, waiting for the next all consuming passion to strike me down. I read, and reread ANYTHING Corinthiel 😅. But of all time?..... I couldn't say. I revisit so many of my ships so often.

What do most of your ships have in common?

Two bastards in love will always be my favourite. I'd love to boldly claim it's all about two morally dubious rogues, being despicable in the kinkiest ways together. 😅 But I know it's more about two people, often misunderstood and maligned... Finding a deep sense of belonging with each other. But I'm an eclectic sort and I've got a lot ships that don't fit that category I still love dearly.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Absolutely nothing outright. I'll sometimes go off a ship a little once it reaches that point where fanon locks in too tight around it. But I think that's a very me problem, as I crave variation/new experiences/ideas. I'll still love the ship, I'll just know that's just my time to move onto something new and come back and visit every so often.

I'm tagging @martybaker @thelostkelpie @missingrache @thirrith @zigzag-wanderer @lucienne-thee-librarian and @tickldpnk8 and anyone mentioned above. If you want to have a go. 😁

[phantompoguefangirl]

WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER

CHAPTER FOUR: SUSPICIONS

Broken up deep inside, but you won't get to see the tears I cry behind these hazel eyes- Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE MENTIONED

*Flashback*

"Where the hell have you been?!" Jesse demanded, yanking me inside our house with a vice grip on my wrist. I tried not to react to the pain.

"I-...I just went for a walk, you know, to get some fresh air and um...a bite to eat," I stammered, not meeting his eyes because I knew all too well what I would see in them."What are you doing home so early?"

"I just got a break between meetings so I came to check on you. You were supposed to stay here and write a new song. Did you finish the song?" He asked, staring me down.

I shook my head, looking down."Uhh...no I couldn't come up with-" I was cut off by the back of his hand connecting with my face. The force caused me to stumble backward as I grabbed my cheek.

"I asked for one simple thing. Why can't you just do what I ask?"

"I- I was having writer's block and I thought the fresh air and food would help. I'm sorry."

"Well you better hope it did. Get your ass back in there and write me a song," he snapped, waving toward my music room.

I turned and hurried down the hall, trying to hide the tears beginning to stream down my face. I closed and locked the door of my music room before sinking to the floor and sobbing quietly.

I sat there against the door for what felt like hours. I heard Jesse leave at some point and I barely registered the sun going down outside my window, but I couldn't bring myself to move until I heard the lightsaber sound from my phone.

I grabbed it and looked at my screen.

Hey pizza girl. :) Sorry I would have texted sooner but the guys tackled me for the pizza when I got home and then distracted me with fifa. -Michael

I couldn't help but smile as I texted back.

Pizza Girl? 🤣 -Mia

It was the first thing I thought of okay don't judge me. -Michael

Okay then lol -Mia

Anyway what are you up to? -Michael

Sitting in my music room supposed to be writing a song...-Mia

Is that what was so urgent that you had to leave? -Michael

Um kind of. -Mia

Kind of? -Michael

I'm sort of on a deadline. Clearly the suits don't understand how song writing works. -Mia

Haha tell me about it. Especially with everything else we deal with as artists. -Michael

Exactly! -Mia

Well hey I could help you with your song if you want. -Michael

You already are helping. :) -Mia

I am? How? -Michael

Talking to him had made me think of earlier today and how fun it was to spend time with him. His smile had brightened my whole day, his big green eyes were even more beautiful in person and I had unintentionally noticed that he had some very light freckles around his nose that weren't super visible at first but were ridiculously cute. He was also very kind and sweet and I really wanted to know him more as a person. I'd only spent a little bit of time with him today, but Michael Clifford had made an impact on me.

Of course I couldn't just say that to him, though.

You'll just have to wait and see when the song comes out. ;) -Mia

Wow really? You're gonna play it like that? - Michael

Yep. ;) -Mia

Come onnnn just tell meee -Michael

No. -Mia

Pretty please? -Michael

Nope. -Mia

Fiiiinnee I guess I'll wait. -Michael

Good boy. *pats your head* -Mia

😂😂 -Michael

Anyway, it's late and we have a meeting with management in the morning so I probably should go to bed now. But hopefully you and I can hang out again soon? -Michael

Yeah hopefully soon. Goodnight Michael. :) -Mia

Goodnight:) -Michael

I set my phone down and jotted down the ideas I had before falling asleep on my little couch by the window. I finished the song over the span of the next day.

Jesse came back around dinner time and did his usual "I'm sorry, I love you, I'll stop" routine. He was also happy to hear the song was done. All I could do was just smile and make him dinner like nothing ever happened.

MICHAEL P.O.V

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I mumbled a few profanities and shut off my alarm before rolling out of bed. I trudged out to the hallway and got into the usual morning arguments with the guys over the bathrooms while getting ready for our meeting.

Once we had gotten ready and eaten, we piled into our suv and headed to the management office.

I tried to focus on what these suits were saying but on top of my pre-existing focus issues, I couldn't stop thinking about Mia. The way she'd rushed to leave was a little concerning, but there was something about her that drew me in and I'd honestly had the best time with her yesterday...

Suddenly someone shoved my hand out from under my chin, causing me to faceplant into the conference table.

"Ow what the fuck?" I groaned as I glared up at my bandmates.

"The meeting's over, space cadet. Time to come back to Earth," Ashton said as the three of them laughed.

I looked around and noticed the suits were gone. "Oh shit, I didn't realize I zoned out like that. I'm sorry."

"No worries, we'll fill you later," Luke said as I followed them out of the room, "What the hell were you daydreaming about anyway?"

"I don't think we really wanna know the answer to that, mate," Calum said, causing them all to laugh more.

"It's not like that," I said, playfully shoving them as we got in the car.

"So you weren't thinking about a girl then?" Calum asked, wagging his eyebrows at me.

"No-I mean yes, there's a girl but-"

"TOLD YOU! MIKEY'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!" Calum yelled, resulting in the guys cracking up laughing again and teasing me.

"GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME TALK. GEEZ." I shouted over the noise.

They must have noticed the undertone of my voice because it didn't take them long to get quiet and look at me.

I explained what happened yesterday to them.

"She sounds amazing, dude. Remind us to thank her for saving you if we ever get to meet her." Ashton said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"If I get to see her again," I mumbled.

They looke at me confused.

"Um...well, she has a boyfriend, first of all. She told me about him so we agreed the lunch was just a friend thing as a thank you to her. But then he texted her and she started acting really...I don't know, anxious? She said she had to go and was pretty quick to leave after that. We texted last night and she seemed okay, though so I don't know if I'm just tripping or not." I elaborated.

"Did she say why she was in such a hurry to leave?" Ashton asked.

"She told me last night over text that she was on a deadline to write a song," I answered.

"Maybe she was just stressed over that then?" Luke suggested.

I shrugged. "I mean, it's possible. But it was her boyfriend that texted her, not a suit, so that's weird right?"

"What if he knew about the deadline and reminded her?" Calum said.

"Maybe. I don't know," I said.

We didn't get a chance to talk anymore about it at the moment because we got home and had other band stuff to do.

Mia and I kept texting off and on though and over the next few weeks we actually did manage to spend time together. We mostly spent time at the pizza place, arcades or a park we found that we liked. She was very funny and bubbly and I really enjoyed being around her, though I started to get a little more concerned about her the more we hung out.

I started noticing little things that worried me. Like every so often when she thought I wasn't paying attention, her beautiful hazel eyes flitted around like she was looking for danger or something. She never wanted to go to her house and always insisted we meet somewhere. I asked her if she was okay a few times and she always played it off like everything was fine but I could tell she was putting up a front.

I mean, it wasn't like she was cheating on her boyfriend with me or anything. We both made it abundantly clear that we were just friends on a couple occasions so I was confused as to what the hell was going on. But, I was absolutely captivated by her and I had a gut feeling that I that I needed to stay close to her...

@jetblackbritt13

[ollovae3]

Hi there!

I'm looking to create a clone OC, but I'm worried about power dynamics being an issue between him and a far more "galaxy weary" partner who has seen a lot more of the universe's cruelty.

Do you have any advice on how to make sure the relationship and dynamic stays healthy and equal? I've never shipped a clone with anyone before, so this is all brand new territory for me.

Hallo, Anon!!

I actually figured out words for a minute between homework pages, so wanted to reply while they were still with me!!

But: A. Love the idea and also honored you asked! And B. I think so far this actually sounds totally fine? Honestly your pair sounds like my parents!! My Mom's the "Eeyore" of the two, and my Dad's the "Tigger" as they put it, along with other things, so they're similar sounding!

I think I know where you're aiming your worries, so I'll answer to that, but if I guess wrong please feel free to toss another ask at me!! And none of these are like,,, decrees or anything? Just suggestions for you to take and run with as you like!! If they sound definitive, sorry about that, that's not the tone I'm meaning to give. 😅

If you're worried about power in general, this partner being a Jedi would be a more major concern, but civvies also need to be kept an eye on? Clones have very little/no power during TCW, and if they're AWOL they're at risk of being captured and sent to an unknown fate. I'd advise writing this concern in, even if just in your notes, and have them address that imbalance? For Avi and Thorn, for example, along with boundaries for her as a Jedi (and her being technically non-military/not in command of his branch), they also agreed to let him be the lead for how the relationship proceeds, so he lets her known when he's ready to move forward, or needs space, so that he's got more control over how far he's okay with going in various situations.

If your clone is still serving, I'd run with something similar, so that the civvie isn't like, putting him in danger or making him feel as though he's being dragged around with threat of a report over his head. If not serving, I'd aim that way still, though enjoy adjusting to giving them more PDA/date time 🤣

As for the "World-weary vs Hopeful" dynamic, I'd definitely stray away from old tropes of "clone knows nothing and acts like a child constantly" and "partner has to show clone about anything that isn't a weapon". The clones know things, they've trained for this, he's likely been deployed for a bit and gotten to travel and visit different places, experience new things already! Instead of the mentioned tropes, aim for something more adult. Maybe he knows about grocery stores and street food, but he's never had money so never gotten to actually choose and purchase anything, so when partner takes him along to a corner store, he's excited to get to pick out what to get! Maybe he loves candy, but trading with vod isn't a vast wealth of the one he really likes, so partner taking him out to go and buy a bunch of that candy to enjoy and explore. Stuff like that if that makes sense? Emotionally, those old tropes show up too, so watch out for those. While Clones maybe didn't get a TON of romance experience, they clearly know about it. They'd be more likely to just be awkward about how to go about flirting/asking someone out, rather than entirely ignorant to the concept.

And address the question more literally, while this person may have seen more cruelty, it may be interesting to pit that against how the Clones are raised and what they've seen in battle? Maybe your trooper describes home and his childhood, while partner is listening with a dropped jaw. Maybe they don't get why he's so damn optimistic, why he's so "ignorant to the real world", only to get a verbal smackdown explaining that he's very much aware of the real world, but that he's also witnessed a lot of good, and he fights to protect that, not to try and just beat bad guys?

Sorry for this length, I was trying to sort of "shotgun" answer, since I was worried you may have been asking one of a few different ways? But if I still missed or if something I said is odd/confusing, let me know!! I'm in midterms so my brain is mush atm. 😅

When you write or draw those OCs PLEASE let me see, they sound wonderful?? And for ok there questions, definitely check out CloneHub and Queen-Breha-Organa!! They've got great posts about racism in SW, and discussions about clone OCs/ships!

[adventuretolkienlover]

The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 2: Home At Last!)

Intro: OMG THIS TOOK FOREVER! I'm am so sorry guys! Yeesh! I've got to get faster. Anyway, I hope you all like this new chapter. I tried to accurately write Hugo's PTSD from his previous life with Donella and Cyrus. I don't know how good I did, but I did my best. So, I guess that's what counts. Also, I've done a great injustice to portraying romance. Namely Ulla and Quirin. I'm am so sorry.🤣 I'm SO terrible at the lovey dovey stuff! Hopefully I'll get better at that. Honestly I'm better at comedy. (Oh! And as usual, please do not tag as Varigo! This is a Sibling AU! Thank you guys!) Now without further Ado, the chapter! (EDIT: Fixed a big mistake in the continuity. Note to self: Never update when under pain meds.🤣)

Chapter 1 ⬅️ Chapter 3➡️

Summary: Varian is finally going home! And Hugo and Ulla are with him! Hugo is nervous about meeting Quirin. He's a an ex-knight and a lord? Yikes! But that becomes the least of his worries when a "technical mishap" occurs.

Trigger Warnings: Brief Implied Abuse

Varian drove the caravan down the road that led to Old Corona. It's engines we're on it's last legs and he hoped it would make it at least to the edge of the village. Varian couldn't wait to see his dad again! It had been so long since he'd been home. He could hardly wait to be back in his old lab. And have some of his dad's home cooked meals. And it wouldn't be just him and Quirin anymore. Varian looked over his shoulder at Hugo and Ulla. They were sitting in the back. Ulla was excitedly talking to Hugo about everything she wanted to do now that she was free. And Hugo looked all to happy to be spending time with her. Varian figured it was the only real exposure he'd had to a good mother figure. And knowing that said mother figure genuinely cared about him made everything better. The sight warmed Varian's heart. He couldn't be happier with two of his favorite people with him.

Of course the pets were there. Ruddigar and Cheese were sitting on Varian's bunk and appeared to be reading a Flynn Rider book together. And Frankie and Buttercup, the two puppies that Hugo and Varian had found were also present. Buttercup was snoozing on Hugo's lap. And Frankie, being the bundle of energy he was, was trying to get Ulla to notice him by tugging on her apron strings. Ulla put the squirmy puppy in her lap to calm him down. It wasn't very effective. He instead took to tugging at her sleeves. Varian smirked. That pup was nothing but trouble sometimes.

Despite all this, the caravan still had a feeling of emptiness in it. It was strangely quiet without Belle and Jacky. Jacky and Belle had left to find places to stay at the capital. Ulla had offered to take them in, but they didn't want to encroach on the family. For a house that was used to having only a father and one son, having a mother and another boy in the house would be quite the change already! They promised they would find a good place to stay and to keep in touch. Varian hoped they would be okay and that he see them again soon. Varian had other worries too. They had made plenty of enemies on their journey. Some of them were still alive and searching for them. He hadn't told Ulla yet, out of fear of what it would do to her. And Donella? Donella was a whole other story. Telling her that her best friend had turned evil and tried to kill him and his friends? Varian had contemplated simply not telling her, but the truth would get out eventually. He shook the worries from his mind and tried to focus on the positive. He turned back toward the road. "We're almost there guys!" he shouted to them!

"Yes! Can't wait!" said Ulla! "One thing a have to do now that I'm free is check out the capital! I haven't been there in years! And Varian told me that the princess there had magic hair, but she doesn't anymore. But I'd still love to meet her! She was stuck in one place for a long time just like me! Of course, she was stuck in a tower for eighteen years and I was stuck in a library. Did I tell you how happy I am to be out?"

"Yes." Hugo chuckled. "A few times."

"Oh right! Ugh! I'm sorry! I'm so excited. I can't wait to see Quirin again! I wonder if he's changed much?"

"What's Quirin like?" asked Hugo curiously. He wasn't gonna lie. He was a bit nervous meeting Varian's father. He didn't know what to expect.

"Oh! He's the best! He's kind and thoughtful! And he loves everyone in the village! You'll love him! And he's gonna like you too! The last time I saw Quirin, he was a knight for the Dark Kingdom! And klnow Varian tells me he's been farming all this time! Tall about a crazy career switch amight?" rambled Ulla. Hugo's eyes widen. "Wait, he's a knight?" Varian realized he never told Hugo much about his dad.

"Uh, yep! Well he was knight."

"You mean knight as in, has military training?" asked Hugo worriedly.

"Um, yes. Is this a bad time to tell you my dad's kinda the lord of Old Corona?"

"WHAT! Wait, your nobility?!"

"You didn't tell me that Varian! Cool!" exclaimed Ulla.

"He didn't tell me either!" said a very flustered Hugo!

"I guess... It didn't cross my mind. I mean we've been on the road most of the time and running from you know who."

Hugo stood there with his jaw dropped. He didn't know what to say.

"Who's this You Know Who?" asked Ulla.

"I - Uh- N - Nothing!" Hugo stammered. He hugged his knees and took a deep breath. "Okay. He has military training AND connections to the crown. I've make sure I get on his good side." Hugo was so anxious, he didn't even realize he was talking to himself. But Ulla did.

"Hey, it's okay Honey." Ulla rubbed his back. Hugo looked at her. "Don't be so nervous. He's gonna love you. You're a sweetheart. It will be fine. Okay?" Hugo nodded. Ulla pulled him into a side hug. Varian smiled. He heard everything. The caravan climbed over one last hill. At the top, Varian could see Old Corona stretching out before them. "Guys! We're here!" Varian tried to put on the brakes to slow down. But nothing happened. Varian looked down surprised at the brakes and tried again. Nothing. Varian's eyes grew wide. "Uh oh." He thought. He tried again. And again! And again! His panic rising with every attempt! Suddenly Ulla and Hugo both noticed the commotion up front. They both looked at Varian in confusion. "Everything okay?" Ulla asked. "Yep! Just fine!" shouted a very frantic Varian. He turned around and gave a fake grin. Suddenly his hairstripe started to glow!

"Gah!" yelped Varian and he frantically covered it up with one hand before quickly turning back to the dash, his face reverting back to panic. Now, this whole "Hairstripe Glowing Thing" may seem strange. But there will be more on that later. Varian furiously began pressing the brakes again. Hugo looked at Varian clearly struggling with a deadpan expression. "Varian. You're not fooling anyone. What's up?" said Hugo.

"Okay. Nobody panic." said Varian. "But uh... I think the brakes went out."

"WHAT?!" shouted Ulla and Hugo!

"I said don't PANIC!" said Varian, who was panicking.

"We're not panicking!" Hugo said as him and Ulla frantically ran up into the cab! "Who says we're panicking?" (He was though.)

"Maybe we can jump out!" said Ulla!

"We're going too fast!" replied Varian.

"Okay! Well, what if we hit something soft?!" Ulla suggested.

"Not any people I hope!" yelled Hugo as he spotted some bewildered farmers watching them pass by in their fields! Varian spotted some hay stacks in the distance. He got an idea! "That's it!" he said! "If we cut the power, and steer into those hay stacks, we should stop!"

"The ones on the other side of town square?!" shouted Hugo terrified!

"Yep!" replied Varian!

"Okay everyone! Strap down! This is gonna get bumpy!" called back Ulla! The puppies ran and hid under the bunks. Ruddigar grabbed Cheese and jumped in a crate!

"Guys? There's only one problem with that plan! The fuel intake is one the outside!" said Hugo.

"I know. Hugo! Take the wheel!" said Varian!

"Varian?! What are you doing?!" said Hugo as he switched places with Varian!

"Saving us!" said Varian, as he began to climb out the window and onto the hood!

"VARIAN! Get in here!" Yelled Hugo! But Varian was already almost on the caravan's hood! "Be careful!" shouted Ulla!

"I don't worry! I'll be fine! I hope." replied Varian, who's was now hanging onto the hood! He opened it a crack and began fiddling around, trying to find the fuel intake. He found it and yanked it out! The engine made a loud BANG noise and then lost power! They we're moving purely on inertia now! "I got it!" said Varian excitedly! Suddenly he almost lost his balance! Varian yelped and waved his arms, trying to keep his balance! Ulla and Hugo gasped! Ulla kicked the cab door open, grabbed Varian, and pulled him inside just as he began to fall off! Hugo looked over his shoulder at Ulla hugging a very shell shocked Varian! They were both on the knees! Clearly neither of them had the nerves to stand up.

"Oh my gosh! You have me a heart attack!" Ulla said!

"How do you think I feel?!" said Varian shaking!

"HOLD ON!" yelled Hugo as they neared town square! People had already spotted them and were running out of the way screaming!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Varian's father Quirin was quietly turning the soil in one of his estate's many pumpkin fields. It was what seemed a mundane or tiresome task. But for a man that had seen many a war and bloodshed, there was no better peace found then in tending living things. Unlike most nobels, he enjoyed working the land. Instead of leaving farm work to the lower classes, he always helped in farming the land surrounding his estate and in bringing in the harvest. It always brought him joy to see his people working together and with him. However, lately he had been a bit depressed. Even when doing his favorite farm chores. He lifted his face to feel the calming presence of the wind and sighed. He's gaze fell upon the road that led away from Old Corona. The wall surrounding the kingdom had been long since torn down and he could see the road reaching far into the distance. It had been almost a year since Varian had left down that very road. And Quirin missed him more everyday. And it was agonizing to not know if his boy was safe. He turned to go back to his chores when he heard a familiar sound faintly in the distance. He looked up and searched around for the source. It sounded like Varian's caravan! And people screaming? He looked toward the town! Was that Varian's caravan?! At first, Quirin got excited. But something seemed off. Quirin peered at the strange sight in the distance. Where we're the caravan's horses? And why was it barreling toward town?! Something must be wrong! Quirin quickly threw down his gardening hoe and mounted a nearby farm horse. Quickly, he began riding toward the town!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hugo steered wildly through the town, trying not to cause any damage! "Sorry! Excuse us! Coming through!" he shouted as another group of farmers ran out of the way! Varian just knew they were going to get an earful from them later. "LOOK OUT!" Ulla yelled as they dodged a horse drawn cart!

"Was that Ulla?!" said a villager as the caravan sped past! At this point, everything was pure chaos! Chickens were fluttering! People were running, jumping, and screaming! Objects ranging from fruit to tools we're flying everywhere! And Hugo was trying his hardest to navigate through it all! Quirin reached the village just in time to see the caravan shoot out of it like a rocket! It wizzed past him and steered into a nearby field. Hugo headed for the largest hay stack!

"Making contact in three, two, ONE!" said Varian! And with a FOOMP the caravan crashed into the hay stack! Hay and dust went flying! But the caravan had stopped! Quirin stared in shock at the crashed caravan. Then rode toward it. He dismounted his horse and ran up to the cab. "Varian?!" he shouted and banged on the cab door! Suddenly the door swung open! Varian pocked his head out! He was covered in hay, coughing from the dust, and his googles had slid over his eyes! "Hey! *Cough* Guys! I think we- *Cough Cough* I think we stopped WAAA-" Varian clumsily fell out and into Quirin's arms! Varian looked up at him.

"Dad!" he said excitedly!

"Son!" said Quirin hugging him. Varian threw his arms around Quirin's neck as he was lifted clear off the ground in his embrace. Quirin was incredibly relieved to see his boy. He was finally in his arms again. Safe and sound. Varian was just as happy and buried his face in Quirin's shoulder. The scent of familiarity calming his soul. Just then, Quirin heard the sound of someone approaching. He looked up curiously. He caught sight of someone walking out of the cloud of dust behind the caravan.

"Varian?" said Quirin. Varian looked behind them. Then smiled. He knew who it was. The figure got closer and closer. Then walked out of the dust. It was Ulla. Quirin's eyes widen and his jaw dropped. He slowly put Varian down. Ulla coughed from the dust and brushed off her clothes. Suddenly she locked eyes with Quirin. Her arms dropped to her sides and she stared at him. They stood there for a moment. Not daring to move. Was this real? Were they really together again? Ulla gulped and broke the silence.

"Quirin?" she said quietly.

Quirin nodded. He had tears in his eyes. A smile broke out across his face.

"Ulla?" he said. Ulla gasped excitedly and ran toward him! Quirin reached out to embrace her. Ulla leaped into his arms. Quirin lifted her off the ground in hug, just like with Varian. And spun her around before stopping and holding her tight.

"It is you!" said Ulla through the joyful tears. "It's really you!"

"I thought I'd never see you again!" said Quirin. This was better then he could have hoped for! His son AND wife had come home! Varian meanwhile was practically quivering with excitement. His whole family was back together. Just then Ulla and Quirin gave each other very passionate kiss. "Woah! Oh, uh." Varian blushed and looked away with a nervous laugh. He didn't want to encroach on their moment. They certainly needed one after being so far apart. A crowd began to gather. They had made a big commotion and everyone was curious.

"Is that Varian?" said one.

"Of course! Who else would it be?" someone answered.

"Who's that lady? Is that Ulla?" asked another.

"Yes! I think it is! She's back too!"

Soon Varian lost sight of his parents amongst the town's people. But he heard his father reassuring them that everything was okay. The back doors of the caravan opened and the puppies scampered out. Followed by Ruddigar and Cheese, who staggered from the rough stop and fell right out of the caravan! They both laid on the ground, trying to stop the world from spinning. Hugo staggered out next.

"Hugo!" said Varian! Quirin and Ulla turned their eyes toward the boy walking dizzily towards them. Varian ran up to his friend and began leading him toward his parents! The crowd had began to dissipate and there was clear path now.

"Come on! I want you to meet my dad!"

"Heh. Great Hairstripe." said Hugo. "Let do th-" Hugo froze in front of Quirin. Hugo was not expecting him to be so... GINORMOUS!

"Hugo, meet my dad! Dad? Hugo!"

Hugo nodded and tried to fight the urge to run away. "H-Hi..." Hugo squeaked. Hugo was used to be the tallest around. Having someone towering over him like this was a bit unsettling.

"Hugo is my best friend and also pretty much my brother. At least we think of each other that way. Kinda like you and the Brotherhood?"

"I see." said Quirin.

Quirin looked toward Hugo for confirmation. But Hugo was too focused on wondering just how strong Varian's father was. He looked like the type that could snap a tree in half! Quirin looked Hugo over. He clearly wasn't from Corona. And had a few piercings in his ears and an undercut. He was also very pale compared to Varian. Quirin guessed he was from one of the colder kingdoms. He felt a twinge of suspicion, because he looked a bit like some of the thieves he'd seen hanging around Bayangor. But his demeanor didn't seem threatening. In fact, he looked quite nervous. Quirin was always a bit awkward in social situations. But even though the boy seemed a bit different, he wanted to make a good impression. Especially since he was one of Varian's friends. He put on a friendly smile and shook Hugo's hand. Hugo almost jumped out of his skin in surprise. He looked down at Quirin's hand in shock. It practically engulfed his own. And his grip was like a vise! "Well Hugo, it's good to meet you. You and Varian seem very close. You're welcome to stay with us if you like."

"Th - Thank you." Hugo stammered. After his hand was let go, he rubbed it and let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sure you're all tired from the journey." said Quirin. "Let's go home. We can all rest and talk there." Ulla squealed with excitement and took her husband's hand. "Let's go Varian!" She said.

"Yeah we'll be right there!" he called back. "Come on!" he said patting Hugo on the shoulder. "Let's get out stuff from the caravan.

"Right." said Hugo. Varian ran inside the caravan. Hugo paused and looked nervously after Quirin and Ulla walking away. His eyes fell on Quirin's fist. A brief frightening memory of Cyrus raising his fist to strike him ran through Hugo's mind. Hugo flinched and shut his eyes. He gritted his teeth as he tried to make the uncomfortable memory fade. He took a deep breath and let himself calm down. The memory faded away a bit. He looked up again at Quirin walking away, before hurrying to join his brother in the caravan.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Varian shut the caravan doors closed and locked them. Him and Hugo had their packs of stuff ready and on their backs. "Alright. Let's go home." said Varian tossing the keys in the air cheerfully. They began to walk down the road toward Varian's home. The pets ran on ahead. "You're gonna love this place. It's kinda quiet, except when your know, I'm causing accidental explosions - But besides that, it's really calm and laid back!"

Hugo didn't answer. Varian noticed his mind to be other places.

"Hugo?" he asked.

"Hm? Oh! Sorry Var! I uh, heh. It sounds better then anything I've had to call home."

"Right." said Varian. Hugo was being strangely quiet.

"You okay Hugo?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! It's just, I didn't expect your dad to be so BIG."

Varian snorted and laughed. "You think he's big, wait till you see my house. Oh! Oh! I have to show you my lab! I built to be state of the art and fully functioning! And I don't want to brag, but I have some of the best technology in this part of the Seven Kingdoms there."

Hugo stopped in his tracks. Varian stopped too and looks at him worriedly. Hugo looked down at the ground and rubbed his arm. "Varian?" said Hugo quietly.

"Yeah bud?"

"Do you think... Quirin likes me? I thought he seemed like maybe he didn't."

"What? Of course he does! I'm a hundred percent certain he has no problem with you."

Suddenly Varian's Hairstripe began to glow brightly and stick up!

"Gah! Uh, eh! Heh heh heh!" Varian frantically tried to pat down his mood ring hair. He gave Hugo a sheepish grin. Hugo looked at him with a deadpan expression.

"Yeah. I'm sure." he said sarcastically. Varian sighed and his shoulders dropped. As I said before, Varian's hairstripe had been a little different since he left. At one point in his journey, he also seemed to have acquired Moonstone powers. And with that, his hairstripe had been able to tell lies from truth. It has to do with the "Connected to Emotions" part of the magic. Eventually after a rather frightening adventure, they had figured out that somehow, a small piece of the Moonstone was inside him. And he had not yet figured out how to remove it.

"Okay. So maybe my dad was a little thrown off by you. But I don't think he really disliked you. He just has a hard time with new things sometimes. And that includes people." Varian's hairstripe stopped glowing and fell back down. "That hair of your is a tattle tale, isn't it?" said Hugo with a smirk. Varian sighed again.

"Yeah. But look." said Varian. "I know you're nervous. That's perfectly understandable. But I'm sure that Dad will warm up to you. And besides. We got mom on our side. And she loves you. That's a big win in our favor. You'll do fine."

The stripe didn't light up this time. That seemed to give Hugo a little confidence.

"Promise?" Hugo asked.

"Promise." said Varian confidently. Hugo smiled and hugged Varian. Suddenly he looked at the estate in the distance, than at Varian. Then he bolted off!

"First one to your house wins!"

"Hey!" shouted Varian! "Looks like the old Hugo is back." he thought. And the two boys took off running toward Varian's home laughing! Hugo tried to leap over a fence. But his foot got caught and his fell flat on the ground. Varian vaulted clear over the fence and kept running. "You can't beat a country boy sucker!" he shouted back at Hugo. "I was born and raised here!"

Hugo sat up and looked toward Varian with a mischievous smile. "We'll see about that!" He shouted as he got up and took off! Varian looked over his shoulder and saw Hugo gaining! "Shoot!" said Varian! Of course, to look over one's shoulder, you have to not look forward. Varian turned back to the path and saw he was heading right for a flock of the sheep cross the the path!

"Holy Flynnolyum!"

Varian skidded to a stop right in front of the flock. The sheep all looked at him in shock. As if he'd offended their great sheep ancestors by almost plowing through them. Varian laughed breathlessly. "S-Sorry guys." he said. Suddenly Hugo ran past Varian, leapt up, grabbed a tree branch and swung clear over the flock! He land safely on the other side and ran off laughing. "Hey!" shouted Varian!

"We'll see who wins now Goggles!" shouted back Hugo! He dodged carts, trees and fences, completely leaving Varian in the dust. "I'm gonna win!" He thought. Suddenly Hugo gasped and skidded to a halt. He was stopped infront of one of the biggest houses he'd even seen. Hugo stared at it. He didn't even notice Varian catching up! Varian spotted Hugo standing frozen in awe. This was his chance! Varian ran past him and touched the front door knob! "Ha! I win!" said Varian.

"Yeah! Only because I was in shock!" laughed Hugo. "You live here?"

"Yeah! Pretty big, huh?" Varian motioned to the house with a flourish. The house, or more accurately a castle, was bigger then even some of the mansions Hugo had been in. He stared up at it. It's tallest tower seemed to reach into the sky. "You want to come in?" Hugo looked down at Varian again. The door was open and Varian was waiting for him. "Sure!" said Hugo.

"Great!" Varian walked inside. "Come on in!" Hugo walked up the front steps. He almost walked inside. But then he remembered something important. Where were the pets? Hugo looked around for them and spotted them by a nearby sheep pen. Ruddigar appeared to be scolding the puppies for chasing the sheep. Ruddigar angrily paced back and forth chittering. Then pointed at a sheep that appeared to be missing a small patch of wool from its hindquarters. Franky had a mouthful of wool in his jaws and didn't look the least bit sorry. He was wagging his tail and all smiles. Buttercup on the other hand was looking down at the ground embarrassed. And Cheese meanwhile, appeared to be having a conversation with the sheep? Perhaps apologizing to them? He was sitting on the fence whirling at three sheep. All of whom were staring at him intently and baaing now and then. Hugo stared at the scene perturbed. Then shook his head in confusion and walked through the door.

To be continued....

[lokisprettygirl]

I'm late to the game again 😂...I was busy with looking for Priscilla 👿🪓🤣...good for her that I couldn't find her...not yet...🤣

Y/n is still in deep sadness, it's more a depression. She's traumatized because of all the things that had happend to her and without the love of her life she's barely able to keep going. Unfortunately she developed an unhealthy behaviour , she's living in dreams, consumes alcohol to forget and to dampen the pain, she uses excuses to drink alcohol and this could get very dangerous for her health. Fortunately she has her good friends ( please Bruce, call Loki soon🥺) and she got a new job she can focus on. May it help a little bit 🥺

A bitch is a bitch is a bitch...Priscilla is a manipulator and a liar, she tries to play Loki and the villagers like puppets on a string, she's playing a cruel game. And forced sex, even when you have to force yourself to do it, is the worst thing ever. What is her intention to do that? She doesn't even like his body, she wants him to change it when having sex so...bitch use someone else or get you a sextoy...WTF ? 🤬😝

It's amazing how deep Loki and y/n are joined with each other. Their minds and souls are definitely inseparable. They're doing or thinking about the same things at the same time, she dreamt about Loki showing her his house that he had built on his own, (he thought about it before to show it to her), they listened to the same song and sang along to it at the same time 📻, the pillow cuddling 🛏...they definitely belong together, they're made for each other 💙❤️

Loki got many informations about the time when he was in NY and he learned about all the lies Priscilla had told, so... thanks to Debra. I'm sure he doesn't want to stay with Priscilla any longer but there's a child involved and Loki is the only father Alvis got to know. And Alvis has to be protected, nothing of this mess is his fault.. Loki would never make a hasty decision.

'...I fe...appeared here...' this supports my theory that Loki felt from the Bifrost or he used the Tesseract (c'mon it's Loki😉😂) and this could also be a further connection to Rogers...I know my theories are always weird and a complete fail 🤣🤣🤣

'...he just wanted to get back to his home, get back to his life, to you'...and I'm sure he will , we have to be patient 😊

Christmas is such a hard time when you're utterly alone like y/n and with all the happy couples around her it's almost unbearable 🥺💔. Poor y/n and poor Loki, he feels alone too and it hurts him even more because he knows y/n is all alone with Cat. If y/n knew about how bad Loki feels and how alone he is and unloved , she would nearly die, I guess 😭😭

The christmas card she sent him is sooo cute and he guards the envelope like a treasure...' And I love you both my darlings, I'll love you forever'... and my heart shattered into million pieces 😭💔😭💔😭💔

And that's what I'm here for 🥰😍...and I bow down to my Queen of writing ❤️🧎🏻‍♀️👑

Well you have to find her soon 😏😏 I guess we all have been there where we use an outlet to numb the pain but you just have to know when to stop. In her case her pain seems lifelong because she knows Loki has a kid and he'd never be hers.

You are right Alvis is just a baby and he deserves to be protected. He is not at fault that her mother is like that :( it's like blaming loki for having Odin as a father. That's why Loki is still there, he wants to protect that child.

Well she might not like the body and the skin which is absolutely awful of her (but seriously one of my accuaintance without hesitation told me that she wouldn't fuck Jotun Loki after she watched Thor 1 because she found him scary, the marks were ugly, eyes horrified her. And I was like you dumb fuck.. Safe to say she inspired this bit). That being said Priscilla knows that dick is ten out of ten and she wants it🥶😂

We will see if he fell from bifrost or something else happened to him 👀

No you're the queen 👑

[weabooweedwitch]

I really hope your pain lessens soon. What you’re going through is very difficult and you have every right to cry, feel angry, and resent the world. Soon this period of feelings will simmer away like a dying flame. It’ll take strength to embrace the world and all of its dark sides, but from what I can tell you’re a very strong person who’s more than capable of it. You are a person with many faucets and great creative energy. I truly appreciate everything you bring to this world, your dedication to art inspires me. Please stay safe<3

Oh gosh and here i thought I was done crying for the night ;u; I feel really shitty for uh well Having A Public Episode, kinda thought i was over having public mental crises on tumblr but, I guess, I dunno how to phrase this without sounding conceited, 'I guess most of you can tell I'm going through a lot of shit right now and hopefully will be mostly okay with the fact I brought up an extremely upsetting subject' but also I just. Feel really bad for making anyone really worried. I wonder if I should delete the posts and asks but also I feel like the conversation around it is important? Does thst make sense. I'm way too obsessed with how you guys probably see me after this, honestly, becuase it isn't like this is the first time I've needed some sort of help. I still feel bad for needing money when I was homeless. People gave money for Allister to get his surgery. And I internalize a lot of guilt whenever I need help and I guess that's part of the trauma i need to work through, somehow.

Anyways it also makes me really happy for you to bring to bring up like my creative hobbies and stuff too. I've been meaning to get back into my writing but I've also been wanting to pick up like, craft skills? Like my work was selling this little activity kits and I bought one for soap making and one for embroidering because I thought they would be fun to learn. And that's kind of something I feel like I should be trying to be pursuing more in my free time is how much I like to make art and create thing and I've kind of. Fallen into a hole a little bit. And I'm honestly starting to wonder if its because I'm forming a really horrible relationship with weed. I basically smoke before any pleasurable activity so I enjoy it more and sometimes I just sit and get so fucked up I wind up getting distracted and doing something else or I like, have to sleep, or, I spend too much time and have to go to work the next day or bed or whatever. And sometimes I say "oh ill smoke or drink before I write so im more inspired and like, yeah, it can help, but its gotten to the point where I refuse to try without and that's obviously. Not normal. I obviously inherited my father's addiction genes 💀💀💀

Wait i somehow circled back to being negative! Key points are im trying to do more things i enjoy even though I've been doing not so great mentally and I do enjoy creating things and sharing things and I hope to do some of that more in the future. Maybe I'll buy some paints and some small canvasses. I liked to paint when I was in the hospital because I didn't own any paints or materials to do so at home so it was fun to experiment and for some reason its like, a fond experience for me despite rhe fact I was in the big house

Oh god did I ever show you the time I like. Deadass painted Prospit and. What was rhe blue place. Either way that fucking dates me so hard. My cringe paintings from my fail childhood 🤣

[mrs-allsunday]

Thank you 2023

I finally found the time to write! I wanted to spend a solid 20mins here but I already spent the last 5mins cleaning up my spilled berocca.

I'm also eating pringles now - oh life's sweet poison.

I spent the day rewatching one piece while looking after Yanah. I mean it in a sense that I'm letting her lead the play, I honestly don't think it's how they portray it on reels like an "absent" parent.

There are moments that we play, and times that I let her be.

I guess no right or wrong thing when it comes to parenting, eh?

We can really just see years and years from now with the hopes that she turns out a socially responsible person I aspire her to be.

But that's not for me to decide, right?

Right?

Well anyway, it's been 7 years since I last celebrated new year in the Philippines.

I've really gotten used to it already - no grand welcome, no fireworks, no "buffet". lol

Mostly, I'm already in bed when the clock strikes to 12.

Nevertheless, it has been peaceful the past years. No Christmas gathering of sorts - only the times at my old flat and my first year here with my neighbour from the Philippines.

Frankly, I cannot remember how we welcome the new year last year. lol

For now, I'll write about how we spent this new year's weekend!

Yanah finally received her first dose of Hep A vaccine! We intended to schedule her for one last November but we had to postpone it because things got busy plus me and Adi got COVID.

Then we all went back home to rest. Though I cannot really do that because our house was a mess. So I spent the day decluttering, folding clothes and cleaning! Adi did his fair share of tasks, and the day ended fine with me binge eating doritos while rewatching one piece!

NYE, we went out to Orchard to shop for Adi's stuff and look for a paper cutter for my project planner.

Having Yanah around, we're forced to become morning people and go to the mall on its opening hours lol

Yanah fell asleep after lunch so we had some peace and quiet while window shopping!

Before heading back home, we stopped by at Canberra Plaza to buy dinner and some groceries. Then, we walked back instead of taking bus.

Yanah stayed on her pram the whole time so that's really good. She kept on saying "it's cold, it's cold" though lol

So night came, and we put yanah to sleep after our usual night routine - eat, shower, play, sleep!

Adi and I then worked on my planner and finally printed it after so many hiccups 🤣

I'm really blessed with a crafter husband and he actually did the bulk of the work!

Adi went to sleep earlier than me and I continued cleaning up.

I sent some NYE greetings before going to sleep around 11+.

Adi and I woke up around 1am because Yanah had a night terror again and he greeted me a happy new year ❤️

With that, we're off to welcome Year 2024!

[pattytacuri]

5/15/ 2022

A year ago I moved into the house I'm living in now. I hated that I had to move because I hate change. I detest it. And this move was done so abruptly and I was in between the hell of med changes and working 2 jobs, I basically stayed in suicidal ideation mode from the first week of April to the third week of May. It was a really traumatic time for this and other reasons. Anyways, today I did 2 really hard things 1 was my first swimming lesson and it went so well. Below are pics in my awesome bikini. And me smiling because I floated and kicked my feet which was a big deal for me. I had so much anxiety going in cause I almost drowned at 11 cause of my Dad's drunk negligence. I've forgiven him since but the trauma and fear stayed within me. Also, the fact that I'm out there wearing my bikini is a big deal. I hated to show that much of my body when I was younger. I made my 10 year old promise me that he'll take swimming lessons if I learned to swim. I'm not gonna lie. I stumbled so much and kept apologizing to my instructor but she was so kind and patient. At the end of the lesson, I felt so empowered .Next is riding a bike, no trauma there, my parents just didn't have the time living the immigrant parent life and always working. This makes me think,I want to take horseback riding lessons, salsa dancing, etc. Lessons may be my new obsession. 🤣😭

The other hard thing I did today was go through my trauma backpack full of letters from my ex and mementos from that time. I read all the letters he wrote and fuck that was rough but it was validating in a way. I thought with how dismissive the breakup felt to me, he regarded me as some casual thing that became inconvenient to him when I broke down. And I was so angry and sad because I felt I must have loved him more. I even thought I was crazy with my BPD and made our relationship more than it was in my head. But those letters forced me to look at his humanity and the fact that he cared about me. And through those letters I saw the process of someone that started to get feelings for me. It was rough. But validating ...it wasn't all in my head. And then I got sad because I know he must have hurt on some level composing that email. I guess this is called empathy. I also think that the fact I was able to maintain a stable and loving relationship for as long as I did with my crazy life is something to be proud of. It's still sad but he deserved way more than I could have given him and I hope he's getting that. Knowing him, I bet he's out there living his best life and thriving. I know part of the reason why I couldn't stay in contact with him was because I was incredibly embarrassed and ashamed of my actions right before, during, and after. I know I shouldn't be because I was doing the best I could to survive but it's still...all of it feels so cringe and stupid on my part. The other part was because I couldn't turn off the off switch in my love for him. Ugh. That's the hard truth. But whatever. This is the home stretch of grief. Tomorrow, I'll refocus my energy again on writing and doing more with my blog. It's been a hard week but maybe the lunar eclipse will clean out some of this weird energy I have going on.

I'm excited about writing, driving, swimming lesson and life. It's good to have hope.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Saving Grace - 20

Warnings: Swearing

Words: 1170

A/N- OMG i am so sorry for how bad this part is! To be honest I was confusing the life out of myself! 🙈🤣

Why did I ever write "variant Steve!".

This is only a short update I promise to make the next one longer I just needed to get this bit done.

"Bucky i know this is gonna sound crazy but i don't think thats the Steve from our time".

"How is that even possible??"

"I don't know..... maybe there's an alternative Steve running around out there after our Steve messed with the timeline..... i miss the times when all we had to worry about was Hydra and Aliens" i said as i walked across the carpark towards my car.

"Me too doll, just come home okay. We can talk to Bruce in the morning maybe he can shine some light on this whole thing"

"Yeah okay, I'm heading to the car right now..... Oh my god!" I gasped seeing Steve slowly emerge from the shadows behind my car.

"What? Doll you okay?" I could hear Bucky asking.

"Hey sweetheart, I think we should talk don't you?" Steve said looking rather sinister.

"is that Steve with you?...."

"Why don't you hang up the phone, this is between the two of us" Steve said as he made his way closer to me.

"Baby i gotta go, Steve wants to talk"

"No! stay on the phone..... I'm coming!"

"I'll be home soon, just stay with the kids" i said quickly before hanging up "okay, it's just us. What do you wanna talk about?" I shrugged trying my best to not let him see how much I was freaking out. Even though I knew he could probably hear how fast my heart was beating right now.

"Well I'm guessing you already know, I mean you've just seen old man Rogers dead body right?"

"I did...so who are you?"

"It really is me, I'm the real Steve Rogers just..... not from your timeline"

"I don't understand how that's possible....."

"It surprised me too! I guess whatever your Steve did when he decided to stay back with Peggy messed with the order of things. Imagine my surprise when I woke up here" he said "let's go somewhere a bit more comfortable to talk about this. What do you say?"

"We can't just talk here? I need to get back to the kids"

"It's cold out here, give me the keys and let's go" he held his hand out and waited. I knew I couldn't win against him I had no choice but to go along with his crazy.

We were soon on the road headed to god knows where!

"So what happened to you? Why go to all this trouble pretending to be our Steve?"

"Well you see when I realised there was a Steve Rogers here I did some research.... Internet, so helpful! I read all about you and Harrison and the perfect life you and Steve had together. So I thought to myself 'huh, that could be nice'. I mean look at you, you're amazing and Harrison is such a sweet kid. But imagine my surprise when i finally tracked you down and found you shacked up with Bucky and a new baby! I decided I'd try and win you back you know? I even saved you from those intruders"

"Wait.... Did you set that up?"

"It wasn't supposed to happen the way it did, I told them you weren't to get hurt I just needed to remind you that you needed me"

"But i did get hurt! That's crazy Steve, you realise that right? you don't even know me!"

"I knew a version of you. I had a Y/N but I lost her in the big war against Thanos. I also had a Peggy and let me tell you, I would never have left you to go back to her. Loosing you was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with so when I found out you were here...."

"But I'm not her Steve"

"I know, but we could be happy together. Id never take you for granted like he did" Steve brought the car to a stop outside of our old house.

"Why are we here?"

"I brought it for us. You and Steve were a family here, we can try again... do it right this time"

"Steve i can't"

"Why? You wont even give me a chance?"

"Im with Bucky now, i love Bucky"

"What about me?"

"The Steve I knew I broke my heart! shattered it to pieces. I can't love you like you want me to I'm sorry".

"You could learn to love me in time, i just need to remind you of how good things can be"

"I don't want to love you Steve!" I yelled shaking my head at how absurd this whole thing was.

"Look I think we should talk to Bruce and maybe see about getting you back to your own time.... Maybe you can go back and try and save your Y/N"

"But what if I can't?"

"Then you move on, find someone else who can make you happy"

"You think it's that easy?"

"No, it takes time but it's possible. I know because I've done it myself.

When Steve left I was heartbroken and I felt alone and to top it off I found out I was pregnant.... Bucky saved me. He was there for me as a friend, we didn't mean to fall in love but we did"

"I just don't really see the point in going through the trouble of going back when I have you here in front of me right now" he shrugged.

"Okay Steve this conversation is over" i threw the door open getting out of the car and decided to start walking.

Just trying to put some distance between us but I could hear him following me.

"Where are you going? You can't walk back to your car, let me take you back"

"No thank you, I'll make my own way"

"Don't be stupid that'll take you forever!"

"I really don't care".

As if his timing couldn't be any better Bucky came speeding down the road on his motorcycle. He came to a screeching stop and climbed off the bike grabbing me and blocking me from Steve.

"Are you okay?" He asked holding my face in his hands while he looked me over.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just go...."

"She's fine Buck...." Steve started to say but was cut off by Bucky swinging his left fist into Steve's face.

He went down straight away taken by surprise.

"If you ever come near my family again I'll fucking end you! Don't think I won't" Bucky said through gritted teeth while pointing a finger at the man he had believed was his old friend "I was trying to be civil with you because we had history and because of the kids but none of that is yours!"

"Steve, speak to Bruce.... Go home".

Saving grace tags @jennmurawski13 @kenzieam @captainchrisstan @lets--be-honest @ms-betsy-fangirl @damnaged-princess @farfromtommy @lbuck121 @billweasleey @heathens-takeitsl0w @lacontroller1991 @supervengerslock @mariswritingforfun @thummbelina @broco8 @ineffableg-irl @writeroutoftime @ek823 @cap-just-said-language @death-unbecomes-you @bellemile @afuckingshituniverse @tabzthemightyyyy @luckyladycreator2

Everything taglist: @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields @turtoix @dottirose @livstilinski