#guillermo still figuring out what he wants but not in the way that gives up what he wanted for so long!

[gayformlessblob]

in the interest of whatever that panel was, can i interest the nandermo fans in my s5 fic where guillermo stays a vampire and he and nandor fuck by episode 4

(now updated with small in-credits scenes and an author that's actively working on it again)

it started as me wanting to predict it before it came out but now it's me writing in spite because i don't trust the writers very much . also if i have the time and motivation i will for sure make a s6

[kjthenbee]

I know a lot of us are upset about Nandermo not becoming canon at the end of this season (I am too), but I’m honestly not surprised by this. I could tell from the beginning and as the season went on that they were still not at a place where that could happen naturally and realistically, especially with the secret Guillermo had been keeping the entire season.

My sincere hope is that for season 6, now that Guillermo knows that he doesn’t truly want to be a vampire but that he cares about the vamps and wants to stay with them, especially with Nandor, he’s going to have to reevaluate his relationship with them and his “master”.

What’s the point in serving Nandor anymore if it’s not with the goal of becoming a vampire? We know he was doing it this season to keep up appearances (and because he didn’t want to leave him), but now, everyone knows that he doesn’t want to be a vampire.

Just like Nandor said, he’s going to need to figure out what he really wants. And I think we all know what that is.

I think with this conflict of Guillermo’s being resolved, as well as the intentional choice by the writers to show just how much Nandor cares for and knows everything about Guillermo, better than he even knows himself, is going to open the door for a romantic relationship to be seriously considered by both of them.

However, this means the conflict next season could likely be not only them actually acknowledging their romantic feelings, but navigating how a romantic relationship between them could even work as a vampire and a human, because this means Guillermo will grow old and die eventually. Of course, this would be devastating to Nandor, which may be a barrier to him telling Guillermo how he really feels.

Perhaps eventually Guillermo will be ready to become a vampire, and Nandor will actually be the one to do it, which would make it a special and intimate thing in contrast to the messy and hasty way it was done with Derek (because we now know Guillermo was absolutely not ready to be a vamp). Who knows.

I do have some concerns about how this potential plot line could be handled by the writers, because one of my main criticisms of WWDITS in general has always been its reluctance to stick to its plot decisions as well as to allow characters to have genuinely wholesome or serious moments without a joke being tacked on at the end. Nandor and Guillermo are usually the characters that are allowed to have these moments, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that all of the vamps were allowed to have them to some degree this season. This gives me more hope for next season.

I’m sure our expectations will still be subverted somehow, because that is 100% what the writers are going for, especially with the way Nandermo went last season and the way the plot line of Guillermo’s secret was handled this season.

Honestly, after what OFMD, GO, and even the endings of WWDITS S3 & S4 have put me through, I was surprised but pretty satisfied with the genuinely happy ending we got with for S5, and I’m glad we didn’t end on a painful cliffhanger.

[srhunt]

Haunted Mansion’s Biggest Issue (to me)

I was very excited to finally see Haunted Mansion this year. I had given up hope on ever seeing this new adaption in the 13 years since Guillermo Del Toro announced it with barely any news in between.

And I did very much enjoy it, it’s at least better than the 2003 film, which is all I wanted it to be.

However, there is one thing that stopped me from loving this movie, and that’s how they handled my favorite happy haunt, the Hatbox Ghost.

Now, design wise, he looks great. He’s intimidating, he’s creepy, all around they nailed it. Not thrilled that he’s played by Jared Leto, but thankfully he’s barely noticeable.

Where my issue begins is when they learn the Hatbox Ghost’s living name, Alistair Crump.

I’m not opposed with giving Hattie an actual name, mind you, and I do appreciate the nod to original Haunted Mansion Imagineer, Rolly Crump (though it’s kinda backhanded to name the villain of the movie after him). But from the moment they learn his name, he stops being the Hatbox Ghost and becomes Alistair Crump. Let me explain what I mean.

Alistair Crump was the child of a wealthy family. He was kicked out of his home by his father after crying too hard at his mother’s funeral. Cut off from his family, Crump had to climb his way back up from nothing. Meanwhile, he studied the dark arts. After his father died under mysterious circumstances, Crump gained control over his family estate. He’d throw lavish parties, inviting the people who turned his father against him. At these parties, he would murder the people he believed played a part in his father’s abandonment of him. Crump would bury the bodies under the house. This continued until his staff discovered his secret and turned against him, decapitating him and burying his remains in the same place he disposed of his victims.

Did you notice something was missing in this story?

Something very important to the Hatbox Ghost?

Like…a hatbox?

Yea, there’s no mention of a hatbox in his backstory.

This issue becomes even more glaring when the protagonists need to find an item that belonged to him in order to banish him.

You’re probably thinking it’s a hatbox, right?

No, it’s his top hat.

The top hat that’s still on his decapitated head.

Oh, is his head inside a hatbox?

No, it’s in the dirt under his old mansion.

Most of the time, ghosts are depicted with items important to them in life. Constance Hatchaway has her pearls and her hatchet, Madame Leota manifests in her crystal ball. And it’s not just the Haunted Mansion that does this, look at Thirteen Ghosts from 2001.

Each ghost has an in-depth backstory that can be found on the DVD’s bonus features, and each backstory explains how they died and why they were selected to fill a specific role in the Black Zodiac. They look the way they do because it reflects their past lives and their deaths.

So why does Alistair Crump carry a hatbox as a ghost if he had no ties to it in life?

This issue drives me nuts because it easily could’ve been fixed. Maybe when Alistair was kicked out of the house, he was only given a hatbox to carry what little he could, or maybe his staff hid his head inside a hatbox.

Crump only has the hatbox so he can do the gag with his head. That’s it. His titular hatbox holds no importance to him. He easily could’ve been swapped with any other ghost in the Mansion and nothing would feel out of place.

The hatbox is so unimportant to Crump that towards the end of the movie, he doesn’t even have it anymore. After we learn his backstory, he’s never seen with the hatbox again.

Even this new Funko Pop figure doesn’t have his hatbox but then labels him, “Hatbox Ghost.”

To me, Alistair Crump and the Hatbox Ghost are two different characters. Crump may look like Hattie, but he is not the Hatbox Ghost. Which is the biggest disappointment of this film to me.

Hattie is such a fascinating and mysterious character in the mansion. He has a backstory that’s never really explored. His role varies from story to story. Why is he in the attic with Constance? Was he one of Constance’s grooms? Why does he have that hatbox? Why did he disappear for so long in the context of the Mansion’s story? Where did he go and why did he come back? Was he a victim? A coconspirator that got betrayed? There were so many ways they could’ve taken his story and they picked probably the weakest one.

It does make me wonder what Guillermo Del Toro’s original vision for Hattie was. But alas, we may never know.

Maybe in another 20 years we’ll get a different take on the Mansion and Hattie.

[remythologise]

please rank your gay ships based on how bad thekr first time havifn sex would be thank you

a short selection of SOME gay ships from western live action on a RELATIVE score ranking because we don’t have time or space for all the rest: charles/erik: charles is literally a telepath. their first time having sex is 15/10 even if both of them cry and erik gives himself an injury it doesn’t take away from how out of this world the sex is

hannibal/will: 13/10 for the 13 people that died right before it happened. I am so sorry to tell you this but they are BOTH so into it and there is so much blood.

alexander/hephaistion: over two millennia of people saying alexander was cuntstruck by hephaistion’s thighs so I guess that first messy 12/10 handjob was astronomically good for alexander.

tos kirk/spock: kirk is very kind and gentle with spock here even though spock’s losing his goddamn mind about it. kirk, in fairness, ALSO loses his goddamn mind about it a bit. not for nothing are they based on the above two historical figures. 11/10 lewd handholding

xena/gabrielle: including women on this list as a comparison point. it’s so 10/10 good and they are so normal and communicative about their needs, wants and feelings

post-15.18 destiel: might be sort of normal actually. a bit awkward at first, but given cas is an angel and blows out some lights along with dean’s back I’ll give it a solid 9/10 that can only get better from here.

flint/silver: 8/10 sadly they’re both so in love with each other and work so well together it overrides all of the gaslight gatekeep girlboss manipulations and mindgames that have or will go on, even if they’ll never admit that!

steve/tony: picking one universe and saying ultimates, ults steve is homophobically trembling the whole time and ults tony is bitter and jaded and laughs derisively at the situation after steve comes. 3/10 objectively but a 9/10 experience for steve (previously had not had gay sex) and a 7/10 experience for tony (he’s a masochist)

holmes/watson: holmes is too in his head about it and watson doesn’t know if he likes gay sex yet. 6/10 love that dare not speak its name is still very sexy for all involved

house/wilson: they know way too much about anatomy for this to be bad, BUT never underestimate the power of them derailing the experience by arguing with each other and bringing up death before anyone even gets off. 5/10

kim/harry: oh this is ABSOLUTELY what you’d expect (harry full on losing it not even halfway in and sobbing violently) but it is saved by the fact harry can near-read kim’s mind even if he doesn’t know what kim’s mind means half the time. 4/10, +0.5 modifier (kim really trusts you)

nandor/guillermo: also 4/10, neither of them communicates about their kinks. guil makes a secret action plan of how the next time can be better, except nandor then immediately goes off and hooks up with some other love of his life

merlin/arthur: 5/10 sloppy blowjob by merlin that gets a downgrade to 3/10 because somehow in sucking arthur off he also managed to doom magic, all other gay people and the entire working class

geralt/jaskier: 2/10 geralt is thinking about yennefer’s breasts the whole time. sorry he can’t help it blame the djinn probably

aos kirk/spock (or any pre-movies version of tos): somehow kirk spends the whole time convincing himself it’s just a casual thing for a literal vulcan. spock spends the whole time trying not to kill kirk and then thinks he’s gravely injured him AND disgusted him with the scale of his aggressive desire. 1/10 they both get off but it’s physically painful and both are miserable about it

endverse destiel: dean is SOOOO angry and revolted with both himself and castiel. absolute 0/10 that never happens again.

dishonourable mentions for the hell of it:

aziraphale/crowley: whatever neil gaiman said about them never having sex because they’re beyond that or whatever. -10/10 they don’t qualify

[cookinguptales]

It's been bugging me for a while and I love your meta and all your thoughts, so I wanted to get your opinion on this.

Why do you think Nandor is so repressed? Or so in denial about Guillermo? I understand Guillermo and his motivations (well not so much this season but I can still make sense of them) but why is Nandor this way? I want to study him like a bug and go inside his brain

I, too, feel the feminine urge to put Nandor in a jar and shake him. I've had a couple days to think about this now, so here are my thoughts. There... are a lot of them, fair warning.

At first, I thought this was a loss response. He lost all 37 of his wives and their children in one fell swoop, and that seems to be something that has affected him strongly. And, y'know, I still think that's part of it. I think that after losing everything he had, the idea of trying again and making new relationships scares him. Having someone to love is having someone to lose, and Nandor is so afraid of loss.

But then, y'know, I thought about the actual relationships he had with his wives, and I think a lot of what affects him now affected him then, too. It's a little hard to tell because most of the information we have from him is several centuries removed from the actual events, but it does seem like he probably never loved any of them with his whole soul. He said he didn't love all of them, and that's by his own admission. He didn't fight to keep any of them when they all left, and none tried to stay with him despite his vampirism. And he was pretty clearly leaving them alone for long periods while he went on his campaigns.

I think it's kind of telling that of all the creatures for his ghost to remember and miss, it wasn't any of his wives, it wasn't any of his men. It was... a horse. So I think we can probably say that he had a hard time creating serious human relationships even when he was alive.

I think... I've talked about this before and I'll probably talk about it again, but I do think that Nandor's got an almost pathological sense of dissatisfaction. He's never actually satisfied with anything in his life and he's always chasing after the next big thing. But I think that's because he's afraid of the intimacy that comes from working at a relationship. It's easier to chase the idea of a relationship than build one with the people who are already close to you.

If you think about it, all of Nandor's serious love interests have never really demanded vulnerability from him. Even Gail, his longest-term relationship to date, was a fairly surface-level love story. She didn't expect much from him; he was just a guy for her to have some fun with every few years. The things they knew about each other were also very surface level. Like in the grand scheme of things, who cares if she likes yogurt and Bob Seger if you can't figure out her actual basic character motivations? It's important to remember little details about your SO, but Nandor was missing the forest for the trees.

So when he was alive and now that he's dead, we still have the same Nandor. A man who was constantly conquering new lands instead of cultivating the country he already had. (And immediately letting it fall to shit without even noticing once he was turned.) A man who had 37 wives, but not one who would stay with him once things got hairy. A man who was very happy to pursue new love interests, but very hesitant about actually giving them any real part of himself.

Nandor is a man who is all about acquisition, but he doesn't know what to do with things once he's got them. He loves the thrill of the chase, but the aching and terrifying vulnerability that comes after that is anathema to him. He's simply not willing to put in the work. He likes the fun part, the conquering, the fighting, the hunt. But actually opening up and cultivating a real relationship? Letting them see the awkward, weak parts of him? Trusting them to love him anyway?

He hates that.

I'm thinking back to season 1, y'know? When Guillermo got hurt? He told him that he was his friend, but then immediately felt too vulnerable and walked it back. That's Nandor. Letting people see the soft, unexplored emotions inside of him is too much for him. It makes him feel fundamentally unsafe the way a battlefield never has. Even he doesn't like examining those emotions too closely.

(And let's be real... a horse isn't going to ask you about your feelings.)

So then we have Guillermo. Guillermo, whom he cannot hypnotize into forgetting his awkward, embarrassing moments. Guillermo, who has slowly learned him over the years, both inside and out. Guillermo, who has seen him at his worst and still loves him. Guillermo, who knows him.

Nandor has a kind of intimacy with Guillermo that I'm not sure he's ever had with any other living soul, and I think that scares him. I think it thrills him, yes! I think that's sort of what was actually happening in that familiar fights episode. He senses this strange bond with Guillermo and wants to strengthen it and test it and wallow around in it. He can tell on a fundamental level that there is something important and good and fun there.

But he also refuses to examine it. He refuses to name it. He refuses to let Guillermo that last little step into his heart. To put it into the show's metaphorical terms, Guillermo has managed to break into Nandor's secret basement treasure room despite his best efforts, but Nandor still batted Guillermo's hands away when he tried to examine the treasure.

He still can't even force himself to admit that he likes those rainy Sunday movie nights with Guillermo or that Guillermo is his best friend. (Though Guillermo now seems to understand the things that Nandor cannot say, in these situations.) I think admitting to himself that he's in love with him is just far too much for him. I think admitting that he loves, truly loves, Guillermo would be admitting that he's never felt anything like this before. I think it would be admitting that he's never let anyone in this deep.

And most of all, I think that would be giving Guillermo the power to hurt him like no one has ever managed to do. Not his 37 wives, not his dead children, not Gail. No one. Because if he lets Guillermo see all the most intimate parts of him and Guillermo doesn't like what he sees... that would break him, I think. If Nandor finally allowed himself to really try with a relationship and still got rejected... well, let's just say that it would hurt a lot worse than Gail's rejection of the shallow version of himself that he allowed her to see.

I think that the real root of Nandor's issues is a fear of vulnerability, loss of control, and rejection. He won't let himself fully feel his feelings because he can't control where they'll go. We're talking about a literal former warlord over here. He likes to control things and he likes to feel powerful. The fact that he can't control his own emotions is troubling to him, and the fact that he can't control his relationships with others is even more so.

So he at least controls what he gives them of himself. What he allows himself to internally acknowledge. He still keeps some parts of him segmented off and secreted away. Because it's a way to protect himself and protect that sense of control. If he never allows himself to become fully vulnerable with a person, he can retain control. If he never allows anyone to fully know him, then they cannot reject the most fundamental parts of him that he never allowed them to see.

It is, I'm afraid, one of those mortifying ordeal of being known things.

We're starting to see him loosening up, though. He was willing to give up control of the Council. Control of the household. Control of his life to Guillermo. He's willing to be something other than the leader at all times. And he's starting to let go of those emotions he's kept on such a tight tether for all these years.

I keep coming back to s3, y'know? When he said, "I have no one to share my dreams or my fears with." That's what Nandor really wants here. He wants someone he can finally free himself around. He doesn't want someone that's willing to let him confide in them -- he wants someone that he can bear to confide in. He wants someone who he can trust with those parts of him like he's never trusted anyone before. He wants someone who he can tell his most secret desires to without fear of judgment or reprisal. He wants someone who he can talk to about being afraid without feeling like he's lost a fundamental part of himself when doing so.

And then in 4.06 that's exactly what we saw. We see Nandor truly opening up, truly allowing himself to be vulnerable with someone on his wedding night. But not his wife. It was Guillermo, when Nandor finally allowed himself to give Guillermo something real and true and scared. To admit how he was really feeling right in that moment. The vulnerability we saw in his eyes for just a moment was heartbreaking.

He's still completely repressed and completely in denial. The fact that he went through with the marriage in the first place is evidence of that. He still ended up choosing yet another shallow, empty relationship that would place no real demands on him. But I don't think he's going to be able to ignore what he really wants for much longer. I think realizing what a massive cock-up this wedding was is the beginning of the end for him.

I think Nandor's going to hit a breaking point soon, and it may very well come when he realizes (or at least believes) that Guillermo no longer wants him. He's finally found that person that he's willing and able to give everything to... and that person might just reject it.

For now, anyway.

Ah... love... I feel you, Nandor, it sucks...

[luci-j]

Character Headcannons/Breakdown - Rook Raccoon

Okay, I'll be the first to admit this gets a little sad in some parts. I was going through it when I wrote this, what can I say?

* Her first name is supposed to invoke the chess piece. It's because she's basically used like little more than a game piece by Pyko and Gideon.

* Her last name is an homage to my dad's last name. He died unexpectedly while I was writing "Stand By Me", so I made her last name sound like his. Her taking Rocket’s last name at the end was a quiet way of me saying goodbye to him.

* She represents "found family" gone toxic. Each of the stories I do in this series is about love. "Flowers" is romantic love. "Star-Man" is the love that comes with loss. "Stand By Me" is about love and family. The Guardians are one of the best examples of found family that's done well in MCU, so I wanted to show what the inverse of that was.

* The school she goes to, Gideon university, is based off predatory colleges that were rampant during my college years. I had a friend over 150k in debt to a game design school with these practices.

* She's a sharklike alien because I really like sharks, you guys. Also I love Guillermo del Toro films, like most self-respecting weirdos and oddballs, and I think "The Shape of Water" is one of the finest love stories I've ever seen.... The more I examine my interests the less shocked I am that I ended up where I did.

* She's aro ace! The more I realized "oh. This isn't a one-off fanfic, this is going to be a personality trait of mine now" the more I wanted to be mindful of different representations. I also have a very longtime friend who is aro ace, and she keeps me really in touch with the fact there isn't a lot of rep out there. So it's a love letter to her as well.

* She's a professional V-tuber who goes under the name "Catfish".

* She's more of the software side of tech, whereas Rocket seems to favor hardware. I figured this would differentiate her skillset just enough that she'd be able to stand out as a unique character without too much overlapping skillsets from existing characters. This is something I try to be mindful of as well when creating OCs.

* Groot is one of her best friends and they do a lot of gaming together.

* Rocket DMs a game with them and a few of the other Guardians in it.

* She loves going all-in for holidays because her parents never really did.

* Her culture as a whole is very cold and very "get it yourself" from a VERY young age. Eggs take five years total to hatch and if the hatchlings struggle to get out of the egg, it's considered a sign that they aren't strong enough to survive in the outside world.

* There's a time where this would have been very relevant on their world, but modern progress has made this point moot. The harsh conditions of Icathia no longer exist, but the world has been slow to change from its harhness. Needing to rely on others is still seen as a moral failing.

* A lot of this culture comes from me remembering stories about friends getting kicked out at eighteen and being very, very angry that I was also eighteen at the time and couldn't do much to help them. Rook was my little way of being like "I'm sorry I couldn't do more to protect you. I was a kid too." I also saw a "fun craft idea" that was a "countdown" to when a kid turned 18 and would get kicked out of the house and if that didn't give me the BIGGEST anxiety attack to look at.

* Meti's first time going to jail was for Rook. He and Rocket were both arrested for brawling with her biological parents. <3

* Mara, her daughter, struggled to break out of her egg. Rook didn't think twice about helping her break out of it. She was going to break the cycle she came from

* It took her a LONG time to realize her parents and family loved her unconditionally. When she became a mother, it helped things really click for her

* She has Caldon's equivalent of a Masters in software engineering.

* Some of her favorite Earth music are things like City Pop and Future Funk. Also a huge Vocaloid fan

* Loves the beach and the water. If she isn't working she can be found hanging out by one of the ponds at the nature preserve

* She still struggles with her anxiety a LOT, but she's working towards getting better. She still didn't sleep for three days when Mara started school.

* She loves hanging out with Skye and helping her with some of her creative pursuits. This can include things like wiring LED lighting for costumes Skye makes.

* She lives in the apartment next door to Rocket and Meti. She makes enough for her own place, but she just loves being close to her family

* She's still puzzled/fascinated by mammals as a whole.

* She's always up for board game night

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 83. brb x oc

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS PLS DNI!

a/n: i feel we all need jesus.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, smut ( rooster keeps on being horny for Bea, shocking literally no one )

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

-

There were boxes upon boxes upon boxes all over the house. Throughout the week, they were able to move the most important stuff to the least but still kept some items inside since they still had a lot to do in terms of fixing everything. She was extremely thankful for the dagger squad and Mav, who would come up after work to help them out in moving everything into the new place.

Not to mention they all wanted to take a look at their new house - Coyote and Fanboy beelining to the pool, Payback offering suggestions on how to add more shelves to Beatrice’s office and Phoenix’ and Halo moving around their bathrooms to check the size- which she couldn’t complain about. Evelyn,Shells, Penny and the girls also came, helping them move more stuff around and then enjoying the large patio area with Beatrice.

Bea and Rooster were going to go shopping by the end of the week and then finish everything that was left to do in the house. There were still a lot of boxes to unpack - surprisingly since both of them never thought they had too much stuff - and things to organize. 

But it was fine since they were both going to have time to do it.

She also talked to her parents - and eventually Guillermo who was in the house at the time too - what she was doing and she made sure to voice it out as ‘I’m not asking for permission,I am going to move in with Bradley’. Her parents, neither of them, complained. In fact her father smiled and her mother worryingly whispered the word ‘grandchildren’ with almost a wave of tears in her eyes.

Guillermo was quiet, but he took a quick look at his parents to check their reactions, figuring out if he should freak out or not. He was still, out of everyone including their parents, having a hard time seeing Beatrice as the thirty years old woman that she was. To him it was still hard to compute that now she had a boyfriend, a new house and a new car. But he just gave her a small smile for support, he didn’t want her to feel like he was upset at her or something of the sort.

She also told them about the photo shoot, and said that the only reason she was able to get the car and move in with Brad was because of it and that they shouldn’t freak out when it happened. That made them a little bit more uneasy, her father’s expression changed from happiness to worry when she said it was a swimsuit photo shoot - well mainly swimsuit - and she knew he wanted to give her a whole speech about it.

But she reinforced that she was thirty now. She wasn’t under the legal age to do stuff like that. 

Eventually they did accept it, a bit begrudgingly so but they did. So really, everything was going great! 

She couldn’t complain! Really, it was like that something in her changed, like she was really ready to take over everything and anything now. She had Rooster, she had her independence, she had her own way of doing things, she was so happy.

Beatrice had a lot of time in her days off from the Hard Deck, so she decided to use that time to fix what she could and arrange their clothes. She still hadn’t shown Rooster the picture she was finishing up, thank God she managed to hide it before he noticed it again, shoving it back behind her armoire - in their room - instead of the small walk-in closet they got since she knew he’d be able to find it easily.

She was pulling the clothes from inside the boxes, sitting on her knees with Jolene keeping her company in the master bedroom. It was nearing sunset, which meant Rooster would come back really soon. Beatrice just smiles, humming to herself while placing every article of clothing inside drawers or inside the closet if there was the need to. His Hawaiian shirts stayed inside the armoire since it’d be quicker for him to slip them on before he had to leave anywhere.

She couldn’t help herself, bringing the colorful fabric to her nose to smell his cologne, her cheeks reddening, “And to think a few months back I was smelling my pillow.” she mutters to herself, chuckling as she folds it inside the drawer, keeping it a perfect square next to the others. 

Jolene, who was just lying on her side with her head directly angled towards the door, snapped her eyes open when her ear flicked at a noise. A noise she got used to already, a noise that made her roll back to a sitting position with her tail wagging back and forth on the wooden floors. The sound of the garage doors’ opening, followed by the sound of a car turning off was enough for Jolene to stand to her feet and rush down the staircase with her claws clicking on each step.

Her whining gets lower the further she gets away from Beatrice, the brunette smiling while continuing with the chores as she hears Rooster’s deep voice coming from the kitchen where the garage’s inside door connected, “Babe?”

“I’m up here!” she calls back, the sound of his boots hitting the floor, followed by Jolene’s happy tapping right behind showed he was already making his way over, the slow thudding of his feet going up the stairs was enough answer. The steps halt by the doorframe, where Beatrice sees him leaning his shoulder on the threshold, smiling down at her, “Hi!” She gently sets the clothing aside, rushing to stand at her feet and greet him properly, wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him, humming against his lips.

Beatrice just sighs excitedly when he hugs her middle, tugging her closer to himself as if it was even possible, breaking the kiss to press a trail of butterfly pecks along her jawline, ending with his head pressed on the crook of her neck, “Hi,baby.” his voice is muffled because of where his mouth is currently nestled against, one of her hands coming up to run her fingers through the sandy strands.

His shoulders feel so tense that Beatrice couldn’t help but gently massage them with a hand, “How was work?” he just makes a disgruntled noise, letting go of her waist to step further into the room, leaving Beatrice staring at him in confusion, “Roos?”

Her boyfriend falls back on the bed, like a starfish before he runs his hands up and down his face, inhaling through the space between his fingers, “Roos, what’s going on?”

The pilot runs his tongue inside his mouth, poking his cheek and lower lip as he thought how to reply, “I’m going to be deployed.” he finally says and it sounds heavier than it should be. Beatrice stays close to the door, digesting every word with her mouth parting but nothing coming out, “I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.” 

“How long will you be gone?”

Rooster laughs humorlessly, “Five months, maybe six.”

Oh.

Beatrice’s sharp inhale was more felt than heard to him, her lower lip disappearing into her mouth as she tried to figure out how to reply. Her heart was feeling one thing, but her brain was going ‘you knew it would happen again, you knew it would’. Rationality versus emotion was a constant struggle she had in her life. When her eyes lifted to Rooster, she wasn’t expecting him to look so upset, almost angrily glaring at their beige colored ceiling. “Roos…” she calls, but he’s too into his head to hear her, so she has to be more physical.

Beatrice’s stride brings her closer to the bed, closer to his spread legs, the same legs she climbed over and pushed forward so she’d be straddling his hips instead. The sudden weight on his crotch snapped his eyes back down, then up to where Beatrice’s face hovered over his with a small smile, lowering her body so their chests would touch and her hands could be used to prop her chin up, “Hi.” she whispers, “I lost you for a minute there.”

Rooster’s eyebrows remained low, his jaw tense and almost ready to snap at any second, “Sorry.I have a lot on my mind.”

“Tell me.” she says sweetly, removing one of her hands from under her chin to touch his face, “You know you can.”

But he takes a while to finally say something, which Beatrice understands she isn’t going to push him too much when he wasn’t ready. So she waits for a bit, with her chin on his chest, smiling as his huge hands drop down from his sides to her waist, then slid to the flare of her hips then to the curve of her butt, keeping them there, “I knew I was going to get deployed again.” he says quietly, with his eyes still on the ceiling “I just…didn’t want it to be now. We just moved in together, Bea.”

She didn’t interrupt him, but she did push herself upwards a bit more to have a better look of his face, “Six whole fucking months is a lot and we didn’t even unpack half of our stuff yet! And not to mention I don’t want to leave you alone in here.” he shakes his head diminutively as if he couldn’t believe this was happening “It’s a new house in a new neighborhood. I just wanted a little bit more time, you know?”

Beatrice shifts her gaze to the side quickly, before returning to meet his brown eyes, “Do I need to argue with your superiors and tell them to change your schedule?” her lips quirked into a little smile that made his own mouth twitch into a grin, a soft laugh making its way past his lips. But when the laughter died down, his eyes continued serious in a way that Beatrice really disliked, “Brad,” she calls, then kiss the tip of his nose to bring his attention back to her, “Bradley Nicholas.” that made him look, blinking up at her in surprise, “I know you are upset but…I…” Beatrice shrugs, still trying to find words, “I can’t hold you back.”

“You aren’t holding me back.”

“You know what I mean.” she says gently, brushing the pad of her thumb on the tiny scars on his chin, “We both knew it’d happen…and yeah, it sucks and yeah, it could’ve happened at a later time but…it happened now. So, it’s better to deal with it right now than later.”

Rooster’s eyebrows twitch, his jaw goes back to its clenched position before he sighs through his nose, squeezing her buttcheeks through the soft cotton shorts she liked wearing while at home. Home. They had a home and he wouldn’t even be able to enjoy it for too long, “Will you be okay with me gone?”

Beatrice hums, her chest expanding in a deep breath, “I will. I can call Mike to come over, or Shells or even Evelyn if I get too overwhelmed Roos.” he makes a disgruntled face, “But I’ll figure it out, I managed to do it when you left last time…and I know it was for a shorter amount of time but, I managed it the best I could….will we be able to talk?”

“Yeah, a lot more than last time.’ and that gave him some comfort, the mission not being so intense that the contact would be average lifted a weight from his shoulders. He was still upset, but at least it was better than the alternative. “Probably twice a month maybe,I’ll have to check…I’ll probably miss my birthday.”

His birthday was in June. Beatrice frowned, using his chest as support as she pushed herself to sit on his lap, “I’ll prepare you something for when you come back.” she smiles, “Even if it’s a few days later or a month later.” his own frown never dissipated, “Roos…don’t be like that, it’s okay. I’m not upset…well,I am a little but this wasn’t your fault.” 

“I know but it’s still…” he sighs, dropping his head onto the soft mattress “Shitty.”

Beatrice purses her lips, staring at the column of his throat for a while, then she lifts herself from his lap - which prompted a noise of complaint from him - “Come on.” she smiles, offering him her hand. Rooster pushed himself to his elbows, confusion written all over his face, “Come on!” she made grabby hands towards him, making the pilot laugh softly and then drop his hand on her own.

“What are you planning?” he questions once he’s back on his feet, towering over her smiling face, “You got very smiley all of sudden.”

“Well,I think tonight will be a good night for me to pamper you.” was her only reply, her cheeks reddening as she spoke, “I’ll prepare us dinner, I know some Italian dishes that I think you’ll like and in the meantime,” she walks around him while holding his hand, guiding him to the bran new ensuite bathroom that looked like a mix of their old bathrooms together, “You’ll take a really nice bath.”

Rooster stares her down with his eyebrows furrowed just enough, watching as she let go of his hand to open the box of fresh bathroom supplies neither of them used yet - as in, they had soap and shampoo but this was the fancy stuff- rummaging through it until she found it, “Bourbon Vanilla.” she says, lifting a dark brown bottle with a golden and black label. He didn’t even see her buying that, how did he not see it?

“Bea,” he tries to call her, to make her stop but she’s on a mission, already grabbing clean towels from the cabinet - it was one of the first things they managed to organize - and setting a dark blue one on the sink. He didn’t think he deserved that, why make her worry so much like that? But then again it was Bea and she was the one who cared about others the most…and his heart just shattered and rebuilt itself thinking about it. He really had no words to explain how much she meant to him, “I…” she turns around to face him once she shuts the faucet, smiling in question, “...thanks babe. I really appreciate it.”

Beatrice’s cheeks redden even more, setting the bottle of liquid soap to the side, “You are welcome.” she leans up enough to kiss his lips gently, giggling against his mouth when he tries to deepen it,”Nooo, no, Roos.” the hand on his chest prevents him from getting closer, “I’m need to prepare us dinner–”

“Do you have to?” he questions once his lips manage to trail kisses down her jawline and her neck, “We can order something.”

She just laughed more, cupping his face with her hands and lifting his head enough so their eyes would meet, “I do. I’d hate having you leave without a proper nice meal.” she whispered, kissing his lips once again, “And I’ll prepare breakfast tomorrow too and I won’t argue about it.” she added quickly when his mouth opened to protest, just pecking his plump lower lip and then skittering around him, “See you in a bit!”

Rooster was almost disappointed she didn’t stay, he would’ve liked her to stay, it’d be a lot better if she stayed. But he heard her going downstairs to their large kitchen, in their large new house and - fuck this place was so big. He couldn’t even imagine being alone in such a place like this. The house already had alarms included, which he was okay with, but maybe they should add more…he wondered if he could resolve that before he was deployed tomorrow morning…or maybe not, he’d be out of the country as soon as the sun shines.

That also stalled his other plans, especially the big one. He had to do that when he came back, which to him was a pain in the ass because he’d just do it now. But he asked Beatrice now and she said yes, he’d be out of the country and she’d be even more worried about him. He didn’t even notice he was already inside the tub - oh that soap smelled really good - with the water hitting his chest, he sank deeper into it, he was too tall to keep his legs straight so he bent them at the knee until half of his face was submerged.

Why did she have to be so understanding? Six months wasn’t the same as before. It was…a long time, half a fucking year, and he’d be far away…but, at least knowing she’d be waiting for him would be enough of a reason to get back and wish that time went by faster. He didn’t think he needed to be pampered, well…he wasn’t really complaining about it, but he’d be happy to just stay with her, nothing more.

He didn’t know what she was planning, but knowing Beatrice - and knowing how her surprises were very,very nice- he couldn’t wait. It was going to be a while since they saw each other again, so he better enjoy it. 

He stays in the tub for a few more seconds, soaking and letting his body relax the best he could, before he feels clean enough. He just puts on his red boxers, something flowy and light for the night since it was slowly getting warmer and he preferred that over his briefs. He walks down the staircase - his steps still echoing around the house since it’s still fairly empty with just a few pictures decorating the walls.

He sees Jolene’s head pop from the kitchen’s threshold, the thwapping of her tail against one of the cabinets alerting Beatrice he was on his way down. “Hey! I’m almost finished!” she says once he steps past the threshold, leaning his shoulder against the large door frame with his arms crossed as he watches his girlfriend walk around. The table was set, with a large skillet in the middle that smelled delicious.

“I don’t know what you made but I think your ancestors would be very proud.”

Beatrice laughed softly, “You’d be surprised to know this only took me forty minutes to make.” she says with a grin, “It’s Cacio e Pepe and my mom’s chicken parm recipe. She thinks she keeps it a secret but everyone knows how to do it. We just always play we are surprised.” He heard that name before, it was a pasta “Sit, sit!I’ll put it down.”

He was reminded when he visited her family for Christmas and her mother did the very same thing. He smiles, leaning his elbows on the table as she placed the pasta inside a glass bowl they took out of the boxes a few days back, “It looks incredible.” he had to admit he was really hungry, he was just a bit too annoyed to notice before. But a nice bath with a great smelling soap was enough to make him relaxed and more attuned to his body.

“Thank you!” she grins, sitting down in front of him and waiting until he prepared his plate. He always noticed that when she cooked she waited for his reaction before she got some herself. Almost as if she didn’t know how good of a cook she was. But it was endearing, much like everything that Beatrice did, how she’d pull up her knee to put her hands on top and then prop her chin on her knuckles, watching him with a little smile.

Of course the food was great, there was no way it wouldn’t be since he knew how talented she was. And once he voiced how good it was, she finally ate herself. It was strange to eat with their voices echoing around the lower floor, again it was very empty save for a few things, and Rooster was thankful about the wall lights that were in the living room illuminating the whole area.

But he tried to focus on the food and on her more than anything else. Beatrice made everything so much easier, she was always so bright and full of life he couldn’t even describe how much she did for him.

She didn’t let him wash the dishes, nor put the food aside, reiterating that it was his pampering night and he had to do absolutely nothing. So he stood to the side, more specifically, he was in the living room, enjoying the expanse of their new couch - their old ones were on his office and her art room specifically - with his head leaning back against the back seat, “Fuck this was probably one of the best things we got.” he said outloud, turning his head to the side where he saw Jolene was already asleep on her favored spot in front of the glass doors that faced the patio with the thin sliver of moonlight over her brown fur.

“It is really nice.” Beatrice replies, walking around the couch and completely avoiding his arms when he tries to pull her to his lap, “Roos, we just ate.”

“So?” he counters, stretching his arms to reach for her, letting out an ‘aha!’ when he managed to grab the elastic of her shorts, tugging her backwards so she could fall on his lap. “I’m not doing anything bad, am I?” Bea just squinted her eyes at him with a smile, turning on the tv and opening Netflix then offering the remote to him, “Thank you, I think I can figure something for us to watch.”

“I’m sure you will.” she smiles, leaning her head on his shoulder.

-

They ended up watching two documentaries and a few more episodes of Rupaul’s Drag Race before he grunted a bit in pain from his seat on the couch, “You okay?” Beatrice asks softly,lifting her head from his shoulder and looking at his chest with concern, “Where does it hurt?”

“My back is kinda sore, I think I got more tense than I thought I was.”

Beatrice hums, then looks back at the tv then at him, “I think we had our digestion by now.” She smiles, sliding off from his lap to stand before him, once again offering her hand, “Come on.” He didn't hesitate this time, he just turned the tv off and let her take them up the stairs, turning off the lights in the living room. He honestly could feel a sudden shift in the air and he had a very strong inkling that this night would turn even better.

“Okay,” she closes the door behind him once he walks past the threshold, his eyes following her curves as she goes to her armoire, bend over enough for the soft fabric of her shorts to ride up, “I need you to lie on your stomach.”

Rooster’s eyes snap upwards when she speaks, “What?”

Beatrice looks over her shoulder, holding something in her hands with her back still bent forwards and brown hair framing her face, falling down to the side, “Lie on your stomach, Roos.” she blinked those green eyes and her long lashes seemed to flutter, “Please?”

God damn it. 

She sounded so sweet and she looked so fine that he just did as she asked,lying on the middle of the bed with his face nestled on the pillows they kept in the center - between his side and hers’ - folding his arms under his chin as he waited for her steps to come back. She does get closer, the mattress dipping when she climbs up using her knees, then he feels her soft thighs on his hips and her butt touching the back of his legs, “Comfortable?” she asks and he has to lift his head to check what was happening back there.

He noticed two things: she had a small bottle in her hands and she was no longer wearing shorts, showing that lilac lace he loved so much, “...I am great, are you comfortable?” his eyes never left her bare lower body, the way the lace went up and almost framed her hips was a sin.

“I’m very comfortable, Roos.” she smiles, tapping his lower back, ‘Head back down, please.”

“But I wanna look–” she just gives him a knowing gaze, which in turn makes him sigh and turn his head away with a pout. Beatrice giggles from behind him, adjusting herself on his thighs - which honestly were just so big and strong - combing all her hair to the side and biting her lower lip as she looked down at his broad back. Rooster waited, hearing the ‘pop’ of the plastic bottle being open and then closed, before the obvious sound of hands rubbing together followed. “Baby are you going to give me a massaaaaOooohhh my God.”

Beatrice laughed softly as she pressed her hands right between his shoulder blades where she felt the knot earlier, pushing her palm heel in a circular motion over the tense area. Rooster’s groan reminded her of a lot of other things less than pure,  his hands sliding from under his head to clench the sheets under him, “How’s it so far?” she questions the same Bourbon & Vanilla body oil already being absorbed by his skin.

“Jesus Christ, it’s great.” he moans, clenching his eyes when she find another knot, the deep sound breaking past his mouth and vibrating against the mattress. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a massage, especially one so good like that. He heard one of his joints pop and a sudden relief darted all over his body, “Jesus- where did you even learn this?”

“Internet.” followed by another joint popping and another groan breaking out of him, “I’ve been planning to do this for a while now and I thought it’d be more than fitting-” another knot, another sensuous deep moan, “To do it now.”

“Ooohh…God…I’m not complaining!” he hissed this time, the experience was good but she found a very sore spot on his lower back, being extra careful with her movements and not adding so much pressure. Beatrice apologizes for going too hard, then warns him she is going to add just a bit more force. Bradley clenches his teeth, the pain getting worse and worse until it was completely gone and he breathed out in relief, “Fuck.”

“You still with me?”

“God,I’m never leaving you.’ he blurts out, “Fuckin’ swear it.” Beatrice’s lips part in surprise but she just smiles before continuing, earning another row of groaning and moaning from his part. She was glad she was able to do a good job, he was very tense and his back was looking painful because of how many knots were there. Now there was nothing left, she was just rubbing his back because she wanted to, the oil was already embedded in his skin after all. 

“We’re done.” she says, watching his shoulders drop with a sigh before she puts her hands on his butt to slide off of his legs, “You have such a nice butt, did I ever tell you that?” but his only response was a weak chuckle, feeling like butter melting on top of pancakes at how soft he was “Are you ready for more?”

More?

Rooster slowly lifted his head back and looked over his shoulder, and this time she had only her panties on, waiting patiently while sitting on her knees with her hands on top of her thighs, “Yeah.” he quickly, or as quick as he could, turned on his back and the whole massage surely did wonders all over his body…as the obvious tent on his boxers was any answer. Beatrice slowly dragged her eyes from his red boxers to his face, biting her lower lip with a smile, the way her hair was combed hid nothing from his view and he was more than happy to see it.

“Okay Lieutenant.” his pupils blew wide the second she said it, “Permission to take your boxers off, sir?”

Holy Shit.

“Fuck, permission granted.” his voice replied once he found it deep within his throat, following Beatrice’s movements with his eyes, fighting back a pleased groan when her nails gently scratched over his hip bones on the way of curling her fingers around the elastic of his underwear. Once she tosses it aside, she stands by the edge of the bed, much for his confusion, but then his mouth runs dry when she curls her thumbs on the lace elastic of her own underwear.

“Permission to take mine off, sir?”

He almost choked on air, nodding, then suddenly remembering he had to speak, “Permission granted. Permission fuckin’ granted.” she was getting more and more comfortable with her sensuality and he couldn’t be more thankful about it. She was sexy as fuck, he was just happy she could finally see it more often. Beatrice giggles, tugging down her panties until she kicks them away, returning to the bed but not climbing over him, “Whatever you are planning you have my full permission.” he says quickly, dropping his large hands on her thighs, trying to pull her forward but she just smiles.

“I’m happy to know that.” she says quietly, but doesn’t move when he tugs her forward, “Because I did mention I’d pamper you didn’t I?”

“Yeah…” he immediately lets go of her thighs when she makes a move forward, kissing his neck, then down his chest, then each one of the bumps in his six pack until she reaches her destination. And he almost loses it right there, “Fuck, baby…are you going to suck me off?” she nods, lolling her tongue out of her mouth so she could lick the underside of him, earning a quiet hiss from the pilot. He wanted to keep his head up and watch her, but it was too much and her mouth was just magical.

His body felt very relaxed, in many ways, so it seemed that he could feel everything with an intensity turned on extreme. She was so good at this, he could barely focus on anything else, until his eyes landed on her hips and ass, his breathing ragged with an idea forming, “Bea,” he calls in between moans, licking his lips when she didn’t stop, so he had to place a hand behind her head, tucking a few strands of brown behind her ear, “Baby.” she stops with him still in her mouth, a scene which makes a full body shudder dart all over him, “I got…an idea.”

She pops him out, a thin string of saliva connecting her lips to the flushed tip, “An idea?”

Bradley’s eyes were glazed over, so black they looked like the night sky without stars, “Mhm…c’mere,” she furrows her brows, letting go from his member to move forward, but he shakes his head, “No, other way.” Beatrice pauses, translating what he meant took a few seconds but once she figured it out her face turned a violent shade of red.

“I-I, Brad,I-I don’t…um…”

“You wanna pamper me…there’s no better pampering than eating you out,gorgeous.” he was staring at her so intently, “So you can…bring your beautiful self right here,” she hesitates, her bold and sexy persona melting back on her shy nervous self as she wrings her hands together.

“But…that’s your face.”

“Yes,I know gorgeous and I want you to sit on it, so,” he’s almost in a hurry, “C’mere,”

“But what if I hurt you?” Bradley just keeps his eyes on her, lifting his hands so they land on the flare of her hips, clutching the plush flesh and dragging her forward before she could stop him. Beatrice squeaks, the subtle burn of the sheets against her legs making her wince, “Brad…are you sure?”

He inhales deeply, licking his lips, “Gorgeous.” he begins, “You are never going to hurt me. All I want is to have that pretty thing between your legs right on my mouth.” her cheeks get even redder, “I’ll be away from you for six months, gorgeous. And you said you’d pamper me.”

“Well, y-yes but I thought–” she knew, just from his eyes there was no way she’d change his mind…so she had to think about something else…and when she did she felt she’d turn into a puddle of Beatrice goo, “Well…there is a way to um…do both, i-if you want.”

And Bradley swears he sees stars when she suggests it, nodding silently and watching with his lids low as she slowly and nervously climbs over his chest with her back to him. If he was to die right now, he’d be more than happy because that view was better than Heaven itself, “Fuck your ass is so fucking nice.” Beatrice bites her lower lip, clenching her eyes for courage - this was something new that she never tried before and she hoped she wouldn’t mess it up. Her form straightened until he felt her breasts on top of his hip bones and her hot breathing back on his cock, “You can return to the process, recruit. I’ll be busy with something else.”

“Already–ah!” of course it was then and now. Beatrice tried to regain her bearings, but it was incredibly hard when your boyfriend has his tongue so deep inside you. She whimpered, clenching the sheets under the two, his huge hands were on each butt cheek, squeezing the soft flesh almost to signal she could go on. And so, after a few minutes, she did.

And that moment the moan that darted from his mouth into her core evolved into a domino effect that neither could stop. The vibrations from both of their mouths added a new level of pleasure in this whole thing, something Beatrice didn’t think it’d be possible. She was still blushing so hard, this whole position was filthy and yet so deliciously perfect for them…and pleasurable, extremely pleasurable. 

Beatrice’s movements tried to follow his, but it was a bit hard to concentrate when he was so good with his mouth. She had to stop a few times to breathe and regain her focus, trying to not think just of herself and how she wanted to grind against his face. It wasn’t until his movements started getting erratic, with his hips stuttering that he suddenly stopped his tongue, “Bea,-Bea stop..!Stop.!”

“W-What happened? A-Are you okay?” she asks as soon as she pops him out again, breathing heavily and she almost laughed how she couldn’t see him besides the top of his hair…damn she really did have a big butt, she never really noticed it.

“I just don’t…wanna cum yet…” he says between breaths. Beatrice nods, pushing herself to her hands and trying to scoot away but his arms lock around her waist, “Where are you going?”

She blinks back at him in surprise, “I-I…you said you didn’t…want to cum yet.”

“Yeah. I didn’t. You on the other hand, that’s a completely different story.” and his hand swoops down to slap her left ass cheek, the perfect red handprint marking the pale skin as she whines, falling back on her elbows with her face pressed on the jutting of his hip bone, warm breathing fanning over his wet - and Bourbon Vanilla smelling - skin. He tightens his arms around her waist,pulling her closer to  his face where he continued what he was doing as if nothing happened.

Beatrine moans brokenly, a sharp whine of his name followed by her nails digging on the light blue sheets. The pressure inside got stronger, there wouldn’t be much for her to hold back, her moaning getting louder and louder, being only muffled by his lower body, “Brad…God, Brad!!!” honestly he’s a bit thankful about their room not being as furnished either, because that scream as she orgasms just reverberates around them like a symphony. She cries quieter, her hips shivering and her breathing is hiccuped, sharply inhaling it when he slaps the opposite cheek.

Beatrice’s back moves with her erratic breathing, having half a mind to lift herself from his face and fall back on the bed, her blurry vision looking up at the ceiling, trying to remember where she was, “Baby?” his hoarse voice calls, she barely notices him sitting up to look at her, he’s all blurry too, “You good?”

She nods shakily, lower body still shivering with aftershocks, “A-Are you?” When her vision finally clears up, she sees him wipe his chin and mouth, licking his hand while meeting her eyes.

“I’m fucking great.” he smirks, “You up for round two?” Beatrice doesn’t even wait too long, she’s immediately sitting up, her face and chest flushed a beautiful shade of red. Since her body was still recovering from the first orgasm of the night, because she knew there’d be a second - maybe a third one - he was able to bring her with him when he lay back down, making her straddle his lap.

“But…” she has her hands on his chest for support, “I was j-just on top of you.”

“I like you on top of me.” he says, rubbing his hands up and down her waist and hips, still tasting her in his mouth. “In several ways.” Beatrice’s eyes become more alert as she is finally easing down her first orgasm, laughing quietly at him. She bites her lower lip, then lifts herself just enough for him to align and slowly push forward. Her channel was still sensitive, so she couldn’t help the loud cracked moan that goes past her lips when he hilts, his own throat vibrating with a deep one that seemed to shake the walls, “Fuck…oh fuck.”

Beatrice opens her eyes to look at him, only to see his eyes already on her, “Yeah?” she couldn’t even finish the question of ‘are you okay?’ choosing that only a questioning ‘yeah’ would be enough and she hoped he understood.

“Yeah.” he did. He did and clasped his hands on her hips again, watching her beautiful body just move slowly on top of him, like a wave, with her smaller hands on his pectorals for support. He bites his lower lip when her head tilts back, her mouth opening in another moan, “Fuck you are so….fucking beautiful…” he whispers, “I can’t never get enough of you…my God.”

Bea leans her head forward again, brown hair falling around the two like a halo, her pink lips glossy and flushed, “Brad…”

“I’m going to miss you so much.” he says, his own hips moving upwards to meet hers, “Six fucking months will be…torture…”

“I…I am going to send you something, so you won’t miss me too much.” comes her soft reply, followed by a cheeky little grin that he wasn’t even expecting. But just the thought of Beatrice sending him pictures so he’d have her in his thoughts - which he always had - was firing him up even more.

“Yeah?” she nods, still smiling, “You have something planned, baby?”

Beatrice nods again, this time biting her lower lip with a moan breaking her line of thought, closing her eyes “Y-yeah…God, Brad…” she whispers, not really noticing what she was about to do now, it was all about instinct, “You feel so good inside of me…” she meant to say it in Italian, like last time, but she didn’t. And that made her boyfriend stare up with wide eyes and jaw slack, “I don’t…you ruined…e-everything else for me.”

Bradley couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his shy girlfriend - who was now slowly gaining more confidence within the bedroom - was openly saying things he never heard her say before, “Yeah?” she nods mutely, furrowing her eyebrows with her lip back into her mouth, “You going to miss my cock, gorgeous? Huh?”

“I-I’m going to miss all of you Brad.”

It wasn’t the reply he expected, but it was one he liked nonetheless. Wraps his arms around her waist so they are chest to chest, their open mouths never joining in a kiss, just breathing hard into one another, “Me too, gorgeous…fuck me too…” his hips moved faster upwards, “I’m goin’ to miss all of you, every,” thrust, “Single,” another one, “Part.” yet another, but this one was deep enough to make Bea gasp out her moan, almost if her air was knocked out, “I’m goin’ to think of this when I’m gone. Think of how sweet you fuckin’ sound, how good you take me and how wet you are.”

She whines again, dropping her head to his shoulder, with her hands curling into fists on top of his chest, “Then I’m going to come back and we’ll repeat this,” he says between harsh breaths, “Christen every single room in this house like I told you to. Fuck you in every surface we have, watch you suck me off again with that pretty mouth of yours.” her channel clenched around him in response, “You like sucking me off, like the good recruit you are. You just want to make your superior proud, don’t you,pretty girl?”

“Yeah…” Rooster wasn’t going to last long, so the moment his hips pistoned upwards to meet hers- and Beatrice’s moans got choppy and broken - he could feel the pressure building, ready to snap. “Braad!!” her nails dig deeply into his shoulders, her whimpering and moaning, followed by his own deeper groaning and the sound of skin slapping got even louder. He felt sorry for their new neighbors honestly. “Brad!I-I’m going to c–” she doesn’t finish her sentence because her second orgasm hits with even more force than before, her legs lifting from the bed with her toes curling and her scream being muffled by his shoulder.

His own hips stutter again, following after his own release until he finally explodes. His deep moan isn’t muffled like hers, instead he hears his own voice coming back to him with the echo as his hips push upwards a few more times until he’s literally spent. One of his hands leave her waist to cup the back of her head, their heavy breathing replacing the sound of their lovemaking minutes ago, “Fuck.”

“We just did.” she replies and they both meet gazes. Slowly, but surely her giggle and his soft laugh evolve into full on laughing, their foreheads touching and cheeks hurting from laughing so much. It wasn’t even that funny, but that wasn’t the point, it was about their connection that now was so much stronger than before.

Eventually the laughter died down to quiet chuckling, until it was silent again. Rooster’s smile doesn’t falter and his eyes dart all over her face as if he wanted to keep her to memory, lifting the other hand at her waist to rub her cheek “...I’m really going to miss you.”

Bea’s gaze softens, turning her head to kiss his palm, then lean into it, “I’m going to miss you too.” she whispers, “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.” he replies, still rubbing her cheek. He sighs, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, closing his eyes to keep the lavender scent into memory, “You too, okay? Call Michael to stay with you if you need.”

“Okay.” was her quiet response, her eyes shining with tears and pure adoration, but she doesn’t cry, she just smiles wider at him, “I love you Roos.”

“I love you too, gorgeous.”

Marry me, he thinks. Marry me.

I will. she thinks back. I will.

And neither of them knew.

[harringrovetrashrat]

so i'm writing the fic of it out lmao but

doing a what we do in the shadows inspired harringrove where steve is the vamp and billy is his familiar. billy is not a vampire hunter like guillermo, but he does badly wanna be a vamp. he's been steve's help for 7 years now and like, how long does it take?? he's getting older and like, he kinda wants to still look like this when he gets bit

billy is annoyed, but figures it takes like a decade or something. maybe a big thing to prove he should be gifted with being a vamp. he can deal with it. steve is great no he doesn't think how great it would be if he and steve could be together forever no he totally is gonna go off after being turned and just do his own shit, he didn't fall in love these past few years and sooooo doesn't wanna stay as long as steve will have him hopefully forever and compared to what some other familiars have had to do, he's probably got it easy

and then carol comes home one night, talking about a girl she turned. just for fun. just because she could

"what?" she asks, face still dripping with blood "there's no-- familiars are rarely turned i thought you knew that. usually they're used for menial tasks. honestly i'm not sure why steve keeps you around because you don't even do that."

and billy is floored. he's furious. he confronts steve. demands to know what he's up to

"what, were you having fun dangling this over my head? Ha ha, the sad sack wants to be a vampire, watch the monkey dance for something he'll never get." and billy shoves steve, angrier still that steve just lets him. steve breaks alarm clocks on the regular, billy knows he's strong. "i am just some stupid human to you? like some cute fucking pet?!" and billy is so angry because he thought maybe steve liked him, but no, he's just some huge butt of the joke--

"no, billy!" steve protests, grabbing billy's wrists and holding them. "billy, please, that's not it--"

"then what is it?!" billy screams, angry tears starting to spill down his cheeks in the way he hates.

"you're going to leave me!" steve screams back and it's so broken and sad it's like a wave rocking billy to his core. the force of it makes him let steve go and stumble back. steve himself slumps against the wall and slides down, taking a shuddery breath and covering his eyes with his arm. “you’re going to leave me and i’d rather have any time with you than… than live an eternity knowing i can’t have you.” steve sniffles. “it’s easier if… if you’re mortal. then it’s not your choice to leave.” billy stares at where steve sits, rubbing his eyes onto an outrageously poofy sleeve of a renaissance shirt, the side tucked into the waist of the cat print boxers steve loves so much.

“why would i– why do you– what?” billy asks, because he’s so confused. because he’s happy and overwhelmed and still angry and so fucking confused–

“you always talk about your plans,” steve says, eyes red as he reveals himself from behind his sleeve. “about how you’re gonna leave, travel the world, do great things. and… and how you’re gonna do it alone.” billy had said all those things, that was true. but–

“i–” billy begins.

“it’s stupid,” steve says, “that i’ve been so fucking selfish. but i… i don’t think i can exist knowing you’re out there and i can’t have you.”

“you have me,” billy croaks out. “are you kidding? you’ll always have me.” and steve just looks pained.

“please, don’t lie to me–”

“steve, you can tell if i’m lying. i give you permission okay.” he takes steve’s hand, holds it to his heart as steve stares with wide brown eyes. billy takes a deep breath and says all the things he never thought he would. because he never thought that an old vampire, one who had lived for centuries, would have seen him and wanted him. would have thought he was funny, and worthy, and handsome. hoped, but steve had lived so much life, billy was an insignificant part. at least, he had thought he was. “i have been saying all those things to convince myself it’s what i wanted. because i fell in love with you along the way these past few years and i couldn’t– originally it is what i wanted. and i thought i could lie to myself enough that it would still be true.” steve is staring, gaping, shocked at the vulnerability billy was showing. “but it’s not what i want. not anymore.”

“what do you want?” is the whispered, eager response.

“you. forever.” and without another hesitation, steve pulls billy forward, kisses his neck, and bites.

[a-bit-of-fuckery]

I have lots of big feeling about the season finale and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to scream them into the void (post about them here).

Okay just to get it out of the way, yes I felt a twinge of disappointment Nandermo wise, but not enough to renounce the show or the ship for that matter. I think we’ve been spoiled by the likes of Our Flag, Good Omens, IWTV etc. They were stories about queer love. What We Do in the Shadows is more of a straightforward sitcom and it’s been following all the beats of a “will they/won’t they” slow burn common to sitcoms and other longer form tv shows. Like it took Booth and Bones on Bones seven seasons to get together and people probably assumed it would never happen and they a straight couple. Basically, they can still get together but it’s not the crux of the whole show.

Secondly, I love Guillermo’s journey in this season. We were shown time and time again that he was unsure about being changed, that he regretted how and why it happened and even that he was dreading leaving his human life (like his entire family) behind. It makes perfect sense to me that the same guy who couldn’t kill his hybrid monster children would maybe have a bit of a crisis when confronted with killing a human person. It makes sense, he’s always put the nasty parts of being a vampire in a little box because he wanted all the other, cooler things. I just love that when the chips were down he realized that it wasn’t the life he wanted and I think that sets up a really interesting season 6 where Guillermo and the rest have to figure out what their dynamic is now.

Overall I really enjoyed this season and I’m looking forward to watching it again now that it’s complete and I’ll probably have much more to say when I do, but I needed to ramble about my initial thoughts.

P.S. I really hope they do more with the guide next season, I kind of loved her demented plan to kidnap and imprison the vampires because she was mad. Good for her, give me more of that!

[youaremysunshine-court]

Tldr; the wwdits writers know a thing or two about depression and being tired of life, nandor is a prime example, allow them to bring about his character arc in a natural way

Nandor's 'I'm whispering bc I care about marwa and don't want her to know I'm about to replace her' gives me hope and much food for thought. Excuse the rambling because I'm fleshing this thought out as i go.

Because he's just self aware enough to know when his actions are making people sad. It means that he knows when he's doing/ done something wrong, and actually, I was super mad about this episode be guillermo and marwa and freddie deserved better, but now that I'm thinking more clearly, the writers have been leading up to this.

Everytime nandor does something wrong, he does notice. A lot of it is stupid dumb shit like getting locked in a cage at the rescue shelter. But when he pushed guillermo off the balcony during their fight, he has a millisecond of hesitation before he says OOPSIES. Likewise, when he's discussing the freddie fiasco, he considers for a moment that he's doing something wrong, then very deliberately glosses over it like it's nothing. (For more, see nadja figuring out he pillaged her village, leaving benjy alone and hypnotised, turning Gail without her consent, etc)

I believe the reason for this is a very specific turn the writers want to take with nandor as a character. It's a fact that nandor hasn't been happy for a long time, but this fact only becomes evident from the latter half of season 2 onwards. This is also when he starts fucking up more, and instead of taking responsibility the way he did with Sean and the brain scramblies, he starts to write things off like they don't really matter.

Had the vampires not stated clearly that he was going through vampire depression, it would have been evident from the way he just... stopped caring about everything and everyone. Compounded by guillermos apparent betrayal in 3×10, I believe he just kept sinking into these feelings, until he became the nandor we see in s4.

I know in a previous post i said they'd just made him into an asshole incel (which btw I do still think), I believe its a mask for the terrible depression he's going through. He's a lonely lonely vampire who wishes he could be human, who wants a lifeline so badly he'll cling to one made of gum and feathers at this point, and he's been in this despairing state for a while.

First, he clutched onto guillermo, thinking if he made him a vampire then they'd be happy. Then, he decided a wife would fix him. But she didn't, so he thought she needed to be changed. All this while he's struggling both with depression and buried feelings for guillermo. Which means when guillermo and freddie show up, happy and gay, he is intensely envious and immediately latches on to "what he's been missing".

Freddie. Freddie is the stand in for everything nandor wants but can't have. A human, slightly nerdy boyfriend, who dresses like the pits of fashion and knows enough about nandors niche interests to be interesting. He's the "perfect fix". Until he isn't.

This episode made a lot of people, including me, very very angry. But I think we need to look past this to what nandors really struggling with and allow the writers to let him grow without praising them for some episodes and cursing them for other, heartbreaking but necessary ones.

Honestly I'm pissed about the ending they forced on marwa, because yes she deserved to stab him at least once. But once again, I think that last shot of them together just highlights how far gone nandor is. She looks miserable, because he IS miserable. Marwa doesn't like him because he doesn't like himself. Marwa doesn't like living because nandor doesn't like living.

Sure, he smiles and laughs with freddie, but he's uncomfortable not knowing human jokes. Even the second time around he looks deeply unhappy when he's laughing at the roomba joke. He wants to be a part of this little clique humans have SO SO badly, but at the end of the day he is other.

And finally, that shot at the end where nandor cries after leaving freddie on the train. Is he grieving leaving freddie or is he grieving the travels he could have had with guillermo? Is he really crying or just scrunching up his face for the cameras? It all comes down to the original question: does he care? And the answer is, no, not anymore, not for a long time.

In conclusion, this has been long and rambling, but I can't wait to see how far he has to fall before he hits rock bottom, or if this is perhaps rock bottom. At that point I would like to see if he wishes to become human, or wishes that he'd always be happy. Or, my favourite option, I would like to see who the writers bring in as the person who shows him how to heal himself. Either way, the writers have brought the show this far without ruining it, and I trust them with this episode and the bigger picture, and I can only hope that they follow through on that.

[spookymultimedia]

💜 It's A-Okay. . .To Identify With A 💜

Colin Robinson questions the existence of his elusive sexuality

CW: discussion of masturbation

      Colin was awake at 6 am preparing himself to leave for the office as usual when Laszlo knocked at his door. Colin opened the door, surprised to see his boyfriend there. Laszlo had confessed his love for him last night and Colin had felt the same. Colin still felt a little awkward about it. He had technically dated a colleague in the past but this felt different from that experience. 

       "Laszlo! You're supposed to be asleep." He looked down at the blood vampire. 

            "I wanted to give you a hug before you left the house. May I?"

      A warm feeling sprang up in Colin's chest. He smiled, "Yeah. Sure." He opened up his arms to him and he wrapped his arms around Colin's waist. He burrowed his face into his shoulder, closing his eyes. Colin's body relaxed. He placed his arms around his shoulders and breathed in the scent of his hair. Colin felt Laszlo's energy darken a little as the hug went on longer. "Laszlo?" 

             Laszlo looked up at him, "Yes my darling?"

          Colin stared at his eyes. There was an air of sadness coming from Laszlo that he couldn't understand. 

   "Are you okay?"

                             "I'm wonderful," Laszlo breathed out. It was true, for the most part his spirits were high but something sad loomed in him. 

          "Okay. Sweet dreams then." Colin kissed his cheek and blushed. He didn't know where such boldness came from. Laszlo smiled wide and left to return to his crypt. Colin sighed and tried to stop worrying about him. 

   As Colin left the front door a familiar face followed behind him: Guillermo.

      "Oh, are you leaving too?" Colin looked behind at the shorter friend. Guillermo nodded with a smile, "I need to pick up a few things from Walgreens."

          "I could drive you there before I  head to the office?" Colin suggested. 

             "Sure. I'll just  walk back later, it's nice out today" Guillermo's eyes widened a little. He was far too eager to be in a car with an energy vampire, he had to be up to something. 

   "It's a little chilly. I hope it rains." Colin said as he buckled in and started the car.  Once they were on the road, Colin gave him a curious side eye.

       "So, um, did anything happen last night?" Guillermo asked as casually as possible. Colin could feel his curiosity, it was as thick as a foggy October morning. 

       "Oh so is that what this is all about?" Colin responded with a smile.

           Guillermo gave a coy smile and looked out his window, "Maybe. But I really am running low on Yoohoos and sanitizer wipes." 

        Colin made a small hum in response. He stopped at a red light. 

 "You didn't answer my question?" He looked at Colin. His legs shook a little from restlessness, or maybe from the caffeine due to neglecting his human sleep cycle. 

       Colin sighed through his nose, "We kissed."

Guillermo gasped and smiled, "Aww! So are you boyfriends then?" 

             "Yeah." Colin smiled, "We are. We're dating." 

                "What does Nadja think?"

"She supports it."

                  "Aww." 

There was a moment of silence as Colin was driving. 

          "So are you still unsure about your sexuality?" Guillermo asked, nibbling on the edge of his sleeve absentmindedly. 

Colin pretended he couldn't hear him and flipped on the NPR station. 

            "Okay. . ." He looked out the window, dropping the subject.

             Colin came home that evening with Guillermo's question stuck in his head. He found Guillermo's room and hung around it. He noticed Colin and stared at him, "Do you need something?"

 "How did you figure out you where gay?" 

               Guillermo got up, "So you are questioning?"

            "I don't know a single moment in my life when I haven't been questioning why I am the way I am." 

                       "I don't know, I want to say it was after High School but I think I've known ever since I was a kid. I didn't accept it until I was 19."

    "Really?" Colin narrowed his eyes.

                 "Yeah. Interview with a Vampire was probably my gay awakening though."

"How old were you?"

                     "13," Guillermo shrugged.

"I can't remember that far back." Colin frowned. 

                 "You can't remember being 13?" Guillermo furrowed his eyebrows.

Colin shook his head, "Nope."

                  He nodded slowly, "What do you think your sexuality could be?"

"Maybe gay but I don't know, I don't not like women. Women are cute."

            "Are you attracted to Laszlo?"

"I guess?"

              "That doesn't sound very heterosexual. I think you're at least little but gay." Guillermo crossed his arms and leaned on the wall. 

"I guess so."

              "Well you want to fuck him right?"

"Uh. . " He looked at Guillermo weird. 

 Nandor approached them, "What are you two talking about?" 

                     "Nothing." Colin's shoulders grew stiff.

"Colin is questioning his sexuality."

             Nandor squinted his eyes at Colin, "Colin Robinson you are not sexual, I thought we agreed on that."

                  "No you just told me I have no instinct when it comes to flirting." 

             Guillermo spoke up, "How do you know that?" 

     "He practiced kissing with me, it wasn't that interesting. There is nothing about this man that exudes sex." Nandor looked at his ex familiar and gestured at Colin.

         "Well Colin is human-ish. Everyone has a sexuality. He's not a sexless thing. He's a person."

Colin stared at the floor feeling confused. He didn't know who to believe.

     "Colin doesn't have a sexual instinct. I've tried to help him but he just can't be helped. He's not sexual."

           "But he's attracted to Laszlo."

Nandor looked at Colin and stared for a moment, "Really?" 

                           "I think so."

 "I don't believe you." Nandor shook his head and walked away. Colin huffed at him. 

                  "I believe you." Guillermo said softly.

      "I think I'm just confused. How do you even know when you're experiencing sexuality?"

               "You usually fantasize about whoever you're attracted to. It's normal I promise. There's nothing wrong with being gay."

          "Normal to fantasize? About what??" Colin looked at him wide eyed.

      "Doing sexual things to someone like touching their body or having sex." Guillermo blushed, "There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, everyone gets those feelings. But I guess you're used to just having heterosexual fantasies."

             Colin blinked at him, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay, um, do you ever masturbate?"

             "Ew, why are you bringing that up?

"Hey, masturbation is not bad."

          "I never said that. I just don't know why you're asking about how I masturbate."

              "Well what do you usually get off to when you go there?"

                     "I don't think, I just do it."

"Nothing at all?"

                    "I guess I'll put on the radio so it's not so quiet."

       Guillermo frowned a little, "oh?"

"Besides, I hardly masturbate. I only do it when it's necessary. Which is once every month or two." 

           "How do you do that?

"I'm just not interested in touching myself that much. It's really not that enjoyable." He winced. "I have to be in a very specific mood to actually enjoy it. Aren't most people like that?"

         "I don't think so? Uh, no."

Colin's face dropped, "Oh. Ok." He walked away to his room and sat there for a while.

      Later that night Colin found himself alone with Nandor while Nadja and Laszlo were down the street stalking some poor virgins. Guillermo was somewhere else doing Nandor's bidding. It was a pretty normal night for the house.

          "So you don't think I'm a sexual being?"

         "Well I suppose you could experiment but I don't think you want to, do you?"

        "Well, maybe I do." 

Nandor raised an eyebrow. 

                "Yeah."

Nandor scoffed. "You know, there's nothing wrong with lacking sexuality. Why are you so obsessed with understanding yourself? If I find a person who is fuckabke and pursueable I go for it."

        "I want to know what to call my sexuality. I just have to." Colin spoke like it was a matter of life or death. 

"Perhaps you are a sexual anomaly." Nandor smiled down at Colin.

             "I'm definitely an anomaly." He mumbled.

      Laszlo walked up to Colin with a smidge of blood on his beard. "Hello." He smiled at Colin and Colin smiled back.

       "Can we talk?" Colin placed his arm around Laszlo's back. Laszlo's smile fell. 

"Did I do something wrong?"

              "What? No! No you didn't. I'm not mad. I  just want to talk about us."

     "Ohhh." Laszlo smiled. 

Nadja caught up to Laszlo and held his hand, "I wish to go home. Those humans were such a pain to catch." 

              "Couldn't agree more, my beauty."

Laszlo squeezed her hand. She gripped his arm with her other hand and looked over at Colin, who had drifted away with his hands in his pockets when she got close to Laszlo.

    "Colin Robinson, what are you doing?" 

"Hm?" He blinked.

         "Get your ass over here and hold Laszlo's hand with me!"

Colin blushed and smiled at her. He joined Laszlo and grabbed his hand. Laszlo held it up to his lips and kissed it before pressing a kiss on Nadja's head. The gesture gave Colin a rush of bliss. As they began to walk Nadja grabbed Nandor's hand and swung their arms. 

     "Weeee!" She rang out like a little girl. 

Nandor huffed out a laugh and let her. After a minute he took his hand away, "Guillermo!" He shouted as if he remembered something. In seconds he flew off into the sky as a bat. The three just shrugged it off.

    "Almighty then." Laszlo muttered.

They knew he'd be back with Guillermo eventually. He always did. 

      "Colin, you wanted to talk?" Laszlo looked up at him. 

   "Oh yeah. I just wanted to talk about what we want from this relationship."

            "I'm open to doing most things, you know that but what is it you desire my beauty?"

              "I'm fine with snuggling and kisses. I don't mind holding hands or hugging in public but I'd rather not make out in public." 

              "What about sex?"

     "I don't know, maybe? I don't really need it. I understand completely if you wouldn't want to fuck me."  

            "On the contrary, I would like have sex with you."

                "Me?"

"Yeah." He grinned.

                        "I'm not sexy."

"You might be." 

          Colin cleared his throat and blinked, "Oh?"

        "I'll make an offer and we'll cross that bridge when we get there. How does that sound?"

 

"That sounds good." He smiled and squeezed his hand.

        

      Two weeks had passed. He had sex with Laszlo and he didn't hate it. It was nice. He still didn't feel like he was homosexual though and multisexual labels didn't completed fit his experience either. He sat at the edge of his bed reflecting his sexuality. He loved Laszlo's body. He liked to touch his body and play with it but he didn't really feel the intense rush of sexuality that others seemed to feel. He did feel something. It wasn't that strong, but he couldn't ignore that soft buzz of warmth he felt in his stomach when he looked at Laszlo's ass. He felt so weird. Maybe he was a sexual anomaly. He took out a journal and jotted down his feelings with a heavy sigh. No one in the entire household seemed to understand how he felt. Guillermo and Nadja seemed to think he was homosexual. Nadja only believed this because he didn't want to look at her vulva while Laszlo fucked him. He knew he liked women. He didn't really think much of anyone's gender or sex, he just felt drawn to certain traits and personalities.

          Laszlo's hair was beautiful and his arms were great for bear hugs. The thought of Laszlo pulling him into a tight hug made him shiver a bit. He wanted to reach out and squeeze at his cute butt. He bit his lip and winced, that was new. He was just so charming. He was an artist and looked at the world differently from others. When Laszlo was excited about something there was a beautiful twinkle in his eye. He could also sense a heaviness in him. It tasted like grief. Laszlo was a beautiful creature with a fragile precious soul. When he held Laszlo's face it was like he had a galaxy in his palms. 

       He then reminisced over Evie Russell. He struggled to understand his feelings for her but he knew he felt personally drawn to her appearance and demeanor. Her voice was like a little bell that always caught his attention and could break his heart into pieces. Her hair was so soft and her smile was just the sweetest thing. He couldn't forget how her hand felt in his. She was one of the cutest girls he ever met. He remembered being appalled when a stranger assumed they were in a sexual relationship. He wanted to shatter the spine of that man who whistled at Evie like that. He knew she could handle herself just fine but the feeling was still there. He couldn't imagine doing anything sexual to her. He resented her a little but he just couldn't resist feeling. . . .pitty. Like an idiot he pitted her. He was just hopeless. He sighed. Maybe he did have a little crush on her. He didn't want to act on it, he just wanted to pocket the feeling like a pretty rock you find outside.He glanced at his laptop and slowly opened it. A little bit of research wouldn't hurt. 

. 

           Two days later Guillermo was sitting criss-cross applesauce on Colin's bed after Colin had invited him in there. "What is this about?" 

             "I think I understand my sexuality now." 

         Guillermo's eyes brightened with genuine interest. "Yeah? Do the others know about it?"

      "I'm too nervous to come out to them so you're my test run." He was sitting up straight at the edge of his bed with his laptop for notes he had prepared just in case. "I'll try not to drain you but uh, no promises."

       Guillermo blinked at him, "ok?" It couldn't be that complicated, could it?

"I'm grey asexual, demiromantic and panromantic." 

Guillermo looked at him blankly. 

           "Grey. . . .Asexual?"

"Yep."

          "What does asexual mean?" He cocked his head forward and relaxed his shoulders. 

"It's a lack of sexual attraction to others."

         He blinked, "Nandor- Nandor was right?"

          "Yeah. He had a pretty good guess but technically not exactly right because I do feel some sexual attraction but it's not that strong and it depends on the situation and how I feel."

    He nodded slowly, "I think I understand?  I know pansexual, what's panromantic?" 

          "It's not too different from pansexual. I'm sexualy attracted to no one, but Laszlo is kind of an exception. I'm capable of being romantically attracted to others regardless of their gender but only once I've formed some kind of bond with that person. I need to spend time getting to know a person before I actually develop a crush."

         " Oh, so romantic attraction is a thing. Huh, cool. I mean, it makes sense I've just never thought about attraction like that."

          "It's the split attraction model. Not everyone uses it, it's just that the model can be a good guide when your attraction is a bit more complicated than others."

  "I understand that."

                  "I'll have to dumb this down for the rest, won't I?" Colin peered through his notes.

 "Possibly." Guillermo winced, unsure. 

             "Hmmm. Well thanks for letting me rehearse."

  "No problem."  

Colin had managed to gather the rest of the house with his little projector.

          "Hello, you're probably wondering why I've gathered you all here-."

        "Get to the point!" Nadja yelled out.

"I am!" Colin called back, he clicked a button and the asexual flag appeared against the wall."

           "What country is that?" Laszlo asked.

   "It's not a country. It's a sexuality." He shook his head. 

          Nadja raised her hand "Sexuality? Like gay?"  

                     "Yeah."

"You like men?" Nadja grinned.

             "Uh yeah."

"Stop interrupting and let the man speak," Nandor scolded Nadja and waved at his picture box. 

              "But what do these colors have to do with enjoying men's bodies?" Laszlo asked.

     "Shh!!" Nandor hissed. 

          "I don't really enjoy the body of men that much. It's more complicated than that. Also I'm not solely infatuated by men. This flag represents asexuality." He pointed at the image before moving to the next slide.

    "Asexuality is when someone experiences little to no sexual attraction to others."

          Nandor rose up to his feet, "I fucking knew it! I was right!" He pointed at Guillermo, who rolled his eyes at him. "Okay, I was wrong. Just sit down." 

           "Hush! Nandor you're being very rude to Colin Robinson's picture show!" Nadja shouted and shook her head, "some people just don't know their manners." She looked at the camera. Nandor sat back down with Guillermo, their thighs were touching from being squeezed into one couch. 

       Colin managed to finish the rest of  his presentation with minimal interruptions. Nandor stood up after, "That was pointless I already knew Colin Robinson was asexual." He left the room, going back to working on that one thing for Guillermo. 

    "So you do not like sex?" Nadja asked with a confused look, "But you fucked Laszlo, I thought you liked it?"

        "I enjoy it but I personally don't need sex to be happy."

                    "No sex?" She furrowed her eyebrows. 

"Yeah. I could live without it honestly." 

          Nadja's jaw dropped. Colin giggled at her.

          "How could you do that?"

"I just could." He smiled and sat in Laszlo's lap, facing Nadja. Laszlo hugged his waist with one hand and rested his hand on his thigh. 

             "Noooo?"

"Yeah I could Nadja."

               "No, you fuck Laszlo."

"I choose to have a sexual relationship with Laszlo but I could easily go without sex for years." He couldn't stop laughing at her face. "It's not complicated Nadja." 

     "I need a minute." She leaned back on the couch and rubbed her temple.

    "Do you not think asexuality is valid?" Guillermo asked her. Colin bent over and pecked Laszlo's lips. He kissed back. 

            "No, I believe Colin Robinson's experience is real and I completely support him asexual, I'm just struggling to comprehend it." 

     Colin pulled out of the kiss and played with Laszlo's beard, "This doesn't disappoint you? Does it? That I'm asexual?"

               "No, not at all my beauty."

    "Could we schedule a sexual date sometime this weekend?" Colin smiled bashfully and toyed with Laszlo's chin.

             "That would be lovely."

It took Nadja 2-3 business days to fully comprehend the asexuality spectrum. 

[vampireshmampire]

A Change in Perspective (Ch 2/13)

"These are potions of perspective. Each one will give you a dream that will show you your life in a new light. This one shows you how the world would look if you had never been born. This one shows you what would happen if you died. But I am going to give you this one. This one shows you what you need to be happy. Not--and this is important--not what you want." - Nandor goes to the witches for help with him vampire depression, and gets a potion that will help him figure out what he needs to be happy. It's not all smooth sailing--he may not like what the potion has to say, and everyone may not love the changes he's about to make, and no one can ever, ever find out that he went to the semen-stealing witches for help. But hey. It's better than super slumber.

"Nandor!"

Nandor jerked upright, blinking hard.

"What?"

Nadja snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"Are you in there?"

"I'm in there!" he snapped, shoving her hand away. "What do you want?"

"I got the papers you wanted." Nadja flicked through them. "Necessary permits, recommendations for potential fake names to use to hide the fact that we are vampires, scheduling stuff, blah blah blah. Everything you need for your little "save-the-humans fundraiser"." She did obnoxious finger quotes and shoved the papers at him.

Nandor wanted to ask what the hell she was talking about, but he felt his mouth speak for him.

"And you promise you are going to approve it?" This was said suspiciously, like Nadja had been trouble about this before. But she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I will, I remember our deal."

"You are only--"

"Only sole ruler because you stepped down willingly, I know, you only bring it up every bloody time you want something."

Stepped down? He, Nandor the Relentless, had willingly given up a position of power so he could, could--

"I am the best event coordinator the council has ever had," Nandor's mouth said, archly. "Everyone says so."

"And we are grateful for your service," she said, sarcastically.   Gave up being head of the vampiric council to be an event coordinator?

Nandor tried to--well, he wasn't sure what he was going to say, but before he could figure it out, a sharp pressure immediately began to build in his temples. He remembered Lilith's warning about trying to interfere with the dream, and the resulting three-day migraine.

Reluctantly, he let go and silently watched Nadja flounce out of the room.

He began to flip through the papers in his hand. The words were unreadable, swirled and snarled together. If he focused, really glared at them, one or two words became clear in the maelstrom, but he couldn’t make them connect together into anything approaching coherence. Maybe if he let dream Nandor fill them out he could see what he was writing.

Pen. He needed a pen. Where did the pens live? He began to poke half-heartedly through a drawer.

"What are you looking for?"

He glanced up at Guillermo, who had appeared at his elbow. Ever attentive, ever present.

"I need a pen." He waved the sheaf of paper by way of explanation. Guillermo dug into a pocket and pulled out a pen, which he waved at Nandor.

"Oh, good." Nandor reached for it, only for Guillermo to pull it back out of reach.

"Say please."

Nandor paused, hand hovering in midair.

"...what?" he said, bewildered.

"Say please," Guillermo repeated. He grinned, took a step forward so he was right up close to Nandor. "Pens are for polite vampires, and polite vampires say please. So..."

Something was happening. Nandor wasn’t sure what it was. By rights, he should be scolding Guillermo for being rude, but he wasn’t. This didn’t feel rude, it felt…playful. Nandor liked the mischievousness lighting up Guillermo’s eyes and curling in the corners of his smile. Had he ever seen Guillermo look like that in the real world? Probably not. Because Nandor would have scolded him for being rude.

"Please?"

Guillermo brought the pen back into reach. His expression was still expectant. Nandor took the pen.

"Thank you," he said, awkwardly, and turned to leave. Guillermo's expression changed: he was visibly shocked, but Nandor didn't know why. The whole interaction had left him feeling very strange, and he wanted to go somewhere else so he could think about it.

"Hey!"

Nandor looked behind him. Guillermo spread his hands, looking hurt, but somehow still in a playful way.

"No kiss?"

Nandor's jaw dropped.

Or it would have. The Dream Nandor took over again, kept him acting whatever the equivalent of normal was.

"Did you want me to kiss you?"

"Of course I do!"

"Maybe you should have asked." Nandor stuck his chin out and put on a dismissive air. "Say please."

Guillermo chuckled, a little ‘got me there’ look on his face.

"Please," he said, with a grin.  

Nandor's heart didn't beat, his breath didn't come faster, and his palms didn't sweat--none of those things had happened in centuries--but he did feel nervous as he leaned in. Guillermo's lips were soft and warm and Guillermo was very good at kissing, and his fingers were curled in Nandor's collar, pulling him closer and Nandor wanted, wanted, wanted.

But it wasn't real. It wasn't really real. It felt like the dream it was--just a little too fuzzy around the edges, a little too plastic. But Guillermo looked up at him with bright, adoring eyes and a fond smile and Nandor wanted Guillermo to look at him like that every day.

"I'm really proud of you, you know?" Guillermo said. Real Nandor and Dream Nandor felt equally startled.

"You are?"

"Yeah. It's not easy to act against everyone's expectations of you. Especially when everybody sees it as giving up."

"Wasn't that hard," Nandor said. "I didn't even like being on the council, really."

"Still. You did what you wanted, and you stuck with it even when people were assholes about it." Guillermo cupped Nandor's face in his hands, thumbs brushing against his cheeks. "You seem really happy."

"I am really happy."

"Good."

"You have been kissed. May I go now?"

"You are excused," Guillermo said with a smile, stepping back.

.

Nandor's eyes opened.

He stared at the lid of his coffin. That was ridiculous, beyond ridiculous, it was almost embarrassing. Giving up his council seat? Why would he want to do that? He liked being on the council. Yes, lots about it was annoying, like having Nadja undo everything he tried to do, and he hated how grim he had to be at the judgements. But he liked to be in charge. Even though sometimes all the pressure made him wish he still had stables he could hide in. It was important that he be in charge.

He stared down at the bottle in his hand. The stupid potion was broken, clearly.

But, oddly, Nandor did feel a little better.

It was reassuring to know that, however stupid it had been, there was a world very like this one where he could be happy.

He heard the door to his room open and he hurried to hide the bottle. He tucked it against the seam of the coffin, combing out the fur lining to cover the bottle. Guillermo gave him a bright smile when he pushed open the coffin lid.

"Good evening, Master," he said, cheerfully.

I had a dream where we kissed, and it was very nice. I would like to see if it is as nice in real life. Can I kiss you?

Nope, nope, nope.

"Good evening." He let Guillermo help him out of the coffin. Immediately his eyes landed on the white council robe that had been laid out for him. "Oh. Today is my day."

"That's right," Guillermo said. "The Guide should be here soon."

Nandor felt...not happy. He wasn't sure what, exactly, the twisty feeling in his chest was, but it wasn't happiness. It wasn't pride.  

"I do not want to wear it today," he said. "I can do council things just fine in my regular clothes."

"Oh. Uh, okay. If you're sure."

Nandor wasn't really listening. Why would he ever willingly give up the chance at power? Why would anyone? How could anyone? Who would ever walk away from a chance to rule in favor of just...living a regular life?

He found Laszlo in the garden, trimming his topiaries.

"Laszlo, I have a question for you."

"Do I have to get off the ladder?"

"No."

"Then fire away, old chap."

"Why did you not take the council seat?"

"Because I didn't want it," Laszlo replied instantly.

"Yes but why did you not want it?"

"Politics! Bureaucracy! Responsibility. Instead of getting to do what I want to do when I want to do it, I have to organize my life around duty and obligation. No thanks. Besides, I hate being in charge. Too much pressure, too many expectations."

"You would rather other people boss you around?"

"It's not an either-or. Would you pass me those shears? No the--yes, those ones." Laszlo snipped off a length of wire and began to tie a few branches together. "What was I saying?"

"Either-or."

"Right! I don't have to be in charge to not do what people want me to do. And honestly, being in charge has just as many rules as not being in charge. You and Nadja have all that charter bollocks you have to follow." Suddenly he put the shears down and gave Nandor his full attention. "Why are you asking?"

"I had never seen anyone do that before," he said. "Be offered power and not take it. I just do not understand why anyone would not want it."

"I don't understand why anyone would. What's so fun about making up the rules anyway?"

"It's not fun," Nandor said. "It's not supposed to be fun."

"Then why do it?"

Nandor found he didn't have an answer.  

[shibasparklez]

This is my wwdits self insert, Claudia! Honestly she was so much fun to work on and I’d love to write fics with her!

Bio

• She met Guillermo in 2010 when he was trying to find people to feed to the vampires. He was looking at a furry meetup, and invited her whole group to their house. She was the only one to show up, and she came way too early to boot.

•Nadja took an instant interest in her, keeping her in the attic to feed on her in secret. Eventually Claudia ends up being turned accidentally, though neither of them will say exactly how it happened. The others didn’t want this spreading to the vampiric council, so they agreed to let her stay in the attic and live with them.

Details

•She makes money through drawing and streaming, nobody knows exactly how much she makes.

•Personality wise she’s a pathetic nerd, who tries to act like she’s this anime style vampire. She’s a total chuni who cries at the drop of a hat.

•She loves sweet lolita and pastel goth clothing, but had to give a lot of it away when she was first turned because of the amount of crosses on her outfits.

•Most of the time she’s transformed into a white shiba inu. She can turn into a bat, she just doesn’t want to.

•She sleeps in a cage instead of a coffin because coffins don’t match her “aesthetic”.

•Loves to dish out insults and hisses but she can’t take it back. Will cry if anyone yells at her.

•Sometimes she forgets which form she’s in and ends up licking someone’s face as a human.

•Likes to be in her vampire form with dog ears/tail, just so it’s easier to tell how she’s feeling.

Relationships

•Obsessed with Nadja, is always seen either laying on her lap in her dog form or holding onto her arm. Would become her purse dog all the time if it was possible. Also offers herself up to be bitten by Nadja often. Overall, complete disaster gay.

•Also loves Laszlo, becomes extremely flustered when both of them are around her.

•Crushes on Guillermo and is very affectionate with him. She claims this is just to make Nandor jealous. Guillermo was also there to tend to her wounds when she was being fed on often. The two go out during the day often, and Guillermo keeps her in his bag to avoid the sun.

•Gets into hissing matches with Nandor often, but they’re still really close at the end of the day. Tries to give him subtle hints that Guillermo is crushing hard on him.

•Colin Robinson is still trying to figure out what drains her energy.

•Has kissed all of them at least once, even if she doesn’t have a crush on them all.

[wyrmhaven]

Session #19

July 11th, 2023

Carmilla learns her Wand of Wonder is a fake, Zoey tries to "help" the ooze and in the otyugh and fails, Rin conjures a snowstorm, the figure in the black robe and the helm appears, Doya snaps a picture of him, Urzmaktok yanks the Owlbear away, White accelerates its doom The curtains of the stage drop down to reveal the word REVENGE written on them in red Rin kills Guillermo, Mailu gets knocked out but is stabilized by White, Zoey gets downed, Carmilla bites the Otyugh, Doya kills the slaad, Rampart slays the Otyugh VICTORY! The chaos still continues as other groups deal with the other animated props The remaining props suddenly freeze solid as Yasha appears! She cuts a portal in the air, and orders the students in as other professors arrive to help with the situation White collects samples of the ooze on the way out The students funnel in, and find themselves in a long hallways outside of Yasha's office Doya tells the group about her photo, and they discuss what that means White gives one of the samples to Urzmaktok, and asks that he research what it is The students wait in line, as groups are called into Yasha's office and then let out Pain and the rest of the Violent Tendencies approach our group Pain asks if Doya is okay Doya assures him that she is fine The rest of Violent Tendencies wonder if they'll get in trouble Pain hopes that he does Our group suggests embellish the story if that's what he truly wants The Angels approach Zoey, and ask if she's okay Zoey admits that she was hurt Angelique heals her, and assures her that she won't get in trouble for what happened She tries to claim that Pain did all of this Zoey counters that he did not, and mentions the helmed figure Angelique mentions that she had seen the helmed figure before Violent Tendencies is called into the office, and exit several minutes later looking rather mad Our group are called into the office, where several members of the faculty are waiting, including Carmilla's and White's guardians Doya freaks out about Professor Kol's appearance She told to be polite, and the entire group is told to sit down Yasha demands to know what happened, and explains that the entire group is suspect since they've been there for the other incidents The group try to explain the situation, and present the photo and one of the vial Yasha informs them that all she sees is a blank photo and an empty vial She adds that she doesn't appreciate their lying She then tells them that they're already in her sights for being trouble makers For Rin, she mentions his contraband book For Doya, she brings up the manor For Carmilla, she reminds Carmilla that drinking human blood is illegal Carmilla points out that it was consensual Yasha compares it to assisted suicide, and tells Carmilla and Zoey that they are in trouble For White, Yasha has nothing, but tells him that he is guilty by association Yasha demands the book from Rin Rin refuses Yasha freezes Rin solid Nadia apologizes as she takes the book from Rin Yasha tells the group that they have two weeks detention Doya counters that this is stupid Yasha adds another week of detention to the punishment White wonders what the point of all of this is, since none of their arguments are being listened to Zoey pleads that the faculty investigate the vial and photo The group are dismissed from the office The moment Rin is freed, he grabs the book back and tries to flee Yasha draws her blade, and attempts to stop him? ESCAPE? Yasha swings her sword and misses, Rin shields her steel-wind strike, Yasha dominates his mind and forces him to give back the book CAPTURE! Rin is forcibly excused from the office

The group head towards the dorms, and complain about how unfair the situation is Carmilla wonders who told Yasha about the bite, and accuses Zoey of telling the Angels about it Zoey tells her that she did not Doya counters that anyone could have guessed that the bite happened She continues to complain about how stupid the situation is The group agree that the faculty cannot be trusted They decide to have a sleepover, except for Zoey who wants to be alone Carmilla stops by her dorm, and encounters an upset Aurora The two bond over how unfair their punishments are Carmilla mentions that someone told about her biting Zoey, and to not trust anyone Meanwhile, White encounters Urzmaktok in his dorm, who mentions that Dawn got detention for telling Yasha about the helmed figure The Losers have their sleepover, and the following morning have detention They see several other students in detention One of them is Grayson, who tells the group that Yasha somehow found out about what happened in the Shadowfell Later that week, Nadia goes to speak to Rin in his room She apologies for taking his book She explains that most of the faculty don't believe them about the ooze, but she does and is trying to find out more She gives Rin's book back to him, explaining that she snuck it away from Yasha She warns that the book is dangerous, but trusts Rin to keep it safe on campus She explains that the power of the book is still partially sealed away, but she was able to partially unseal it for him As she leaves, she suggests that he attune to it White is visited by Cecil in his dorm Cecil tells him that he liked White's performance, and that he won second place in the Talent Show He gives White a Cloak of Protection, and asks where Dawn's dorm is He mentions that first place went to the Angels, who got a gold prize A week passes, and our group are in detention with Professor Auron yet again Professors Lang, Nadia, Sharpbeak enter the room, and ask to speak to Professor Auron The students wonder what this is about A few minutes later, the professors return Professor Sharpbeak asks for our group, and explains that they have a special assignment for the group instead of detention She offers to let any students that could help in on the assignment White and Zoey speak on behalf of most of the students Doya speaks up for Violent Tendencies Professor Auron admits defeat and just lets all the students go The students are split into smaller groups with one professor each, and our group and Pain are spoken to by Sharpbeak She explains that she noticed that something was off, but didn't want to say it in front of Yasha and the other professors She adds that Urzmaktok approached her with his data about the vial, and the findings were concerning The data suggested that the ooze was a corrupting or mutating factor, and Urzmaktok's numbers showed it to be a real threat She tells the group that their assignment is to find more evidence about the goo, since the faculty cannot see it She offers the group holy waters so they can test how it reacts to holy magic Doya takes Carmilla's allocated holy water Sharpbeak asks them to check the Witherbloom Demiplane for any signs of goo She tells them to report to her in the Lorehold Demiplane, since she's filling in for Dean Tullus since Tullus is sick Doya informs her that the correct terminology is "down with the sickness" Carmilla asks how Professor Kol feels about her Sharpbeak assures her that Kol will be happy with her once they find evidence The group head out to search for clues!

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2022! Day 1:

Happy October! Like a lot of you, I’m watching at least one horror movie each day this month leading up to Halloween! But this year, I want share my thoughts on each film I watch here, whether I’ve just seen them for the first time or films I wished to revisit and want to reflect how my thoughts change. 

These aren’t really reviews, so much as what I take away from each film; deep thoughts or shallow exclamations, good or bad. Depends on the film. This isn’t me speaking the gospel, so much as letting my thoughts out. With that I’ll start with..

Lla LLorona (2019)

This Guatemalan film is an unconventional choice to start this year’s annual Halloween Movie marathon for me. This has nothing to do with the quality of the movie, so much as the tone. I mean, our main characters are essentially a war criminal former dictator and his family, and they make that very clear especially at the beginning and the end. With his past crimes, either described by a witness or shown in flashback, proving to so disturbing that the vengeful ghosts are downright comforting by comparison.

But I guess that’s the point, isn’t it? The common perception of the Lla Llorona figure, at least as far as my limited understanding of Latin America ghost stories is concerned, is that she is the ghost of the woman weeping after having drowned her own children. This is not supposed to be that exact ghost. Or it’s at least a variation unique to the film. I won’t spoil how it’s different or precisely why she’s haunting our main characters (Even if you can guess), other then the ghost itself is portrayed more subtly in physical appearance then one can be used to. So if you’re looking for the classic white ghost aesthetic, look somewhere else.

But what’s compelling is how our her and our protagonist, Enrique Monteverde, feel black and white, but in a way that runs counter in most ghost horror movies I’ve seen from Hollywood in the past ten years, even though that’s probably a generalization. I’ve seen this theme of “Fantastical horrors being not as bad as the ones created from war and man that benefit from it” in other works by Latin American filmmakers (Guillermo Del Toro’s “The Devil’s Backbone” and “Pan’s Labyrinth” and to a lesser extent, Issa Lopez’s “Tigers are not Afraid”). And it’s still one I’m not tired of seeing.

It’s in setups like this that remind me why, in times like these where everything feels like is going wrong, that Horror is very comforting, even though it’s a genre designed at it’s core, to be as uncomfortable as possible. 

When put together side by side, the reason I feel a monster that comes from the genre is more captivating and able to gain our sympathy then a monster from reality is that the former has rules it obeys. Whether their intentions are actually understanding or they’re just gleefully sadistic, they still operate by a set of rules (”This is what it wants” or “This is how you kill it” or “This is how you run from it”). Whether good or evil, you can respect something that follows through on what’s stated it can and will do. Sure, you can break down the hypocrisies in that for a human character, but most horror villains are either not human or seek to leave their humanity behind. Which, ironically, makes it easier to give it the benefit of the doubt and judge them as less evil. They know what they are.

It’s why, for the past few years, I find it easier to like intentionally transparently evil villains rather then the ones who keep trying to make excuses or reasons, like Monteverde. And when he, a very human villain in all the worst ways, is up against something that last left it’s humanity behind, and in doing so has become part of nature in a way, he is overwhelmed. And we aren’t seeing poor victims being bullied by something pure evil for no reason, like in what feels like every single Conjuring movie. We’re seeing an amoral transgressor bump up into the consequences of his action in a form he can’t bribe, lie, murder his way out of. The horrors of the mundane making way for the horrors of the fantastic.

In hindsight, actually a very good place to start this marathon.

And that’s what I thought. This is the first thing I wrote at this length in a very long time so I’m sorry if it’s rough, pretentious, condescending or anything like that. If you want to share a few thoughts on another film, I’ll write a small post, that is if I’ve seen it. If you want to know what other types of media I’ve consumed or are consuming to celebrate this time of year, just ask. Sometime, in the next few days, I’ll write about the next film I saw...

[cookinguptales]

Related to that last rant:

Nandor and Guillermo both have extreme control issues, though they manifest in different ways, and they're both going to keep fucking up their lives until they can find a way to cede that control to each other in healthy ways!

Nandor used to be in control of his own country, but he doesn't want to be in charge anymore! He's become the peacemaker of the group, strangely enough, and he plays at being in control of the house but he's always much happier when he cedes that control to someone else -- especially Guillermo. Every person in that house already knows that Nandor no longer has the heart for tyranny (Laszlo was especially blunt about it) but the problem is that Nandor doesn't know who he is if he's not some kind of dictatorial warlord.

(He's Guillermo's guy wife, clearly, but he's still figuring out that he really, really likes taking care of Guillermo right back.)

Nandor's really struggling with giving up control (in the household, in the council, in the vampiric community) if just because he doesn't know what the alternative is, and that uncertainty frightens him. And that's the real control issue. He's afraid of change because then he can't control what goes on in his life! He's afraid of his relationship changing with Guillermo because he can't control the direction it will go! Guillermo makes him uneasy, if interested, because Guillermo is the one thing he can't control at all!

It excites him but it also terrifies him and that guy needs to learn to let go and enjoy the ride!

And then on the other side you have Guillermo, who has more of a nurturing kind of control issue? He's taken care of these vampires for over a decade and he knows how quickly everything goes to shit without him. It's given him a little bit of a savior complex, but he also desperately needs to be needed.

It's sort of egotistical because he always believes that he knows better than everyone else what the household needs, and he believes no one can do these things better than he can. He's surrounded by idiots, so he isn't entirely wrong, but he isn't entirely right, either. He isn't always correct when it comes to what's best for everyone around him (and his tendency to try to manipulate the vampires is very irritating to them) but the bigger issue is burnout. Guillermo thinks no one can do these things like he can (see: his issues with Topher) so he won't let anyone help him. He just takes on more and more and more responsibility until he runs himself into the ground.

For the most part, the vampires let him do this. But in The Wedding, you could really see the logical conclusion to this problem and even they were starting to worry. We'd seen Guillermo do that kind of thing before -- like when he wouldn't allow himself to sleep when the assassins were coming because he assumed that if he ever took his eye off the vampires, they'd die. But we hadn't quite seen him destroy himself to that extent before, and even Nandor had to acknowledge that he was driving him too hard.

The problem is that... like... Guillermo will literally just keep taking on responsibilities until he collapses. He'll say "well, no one else can do this right" so he won't accept any help or admit defeat. He has this almost pathological need to be needed, but that's a manifestation of a control issue, isn't it? He feels like if he drops the reins for even a second, everyone he loves will get hurt.

It's not healthy, Guillermo! You need to learn to take breaks and ask for help! They love you now! They'll probably do it! Even Nadja was sticking up for you in The Wedding!

Besides, you can see his rising resentment towards them, which is fair because they treat him like shit but also unfair because they didn't actually ask him to do most of what he does. Many of Guillermo's responsibilities (especially his daytime ones) seem to be self-imposed, and his protective instincts definitely are. He runs the household so efficiently that they don't even seem to realize how much he does for them, which shows that he's a great familiar but has also allowed them to take him for granted. That's hurtful to him, but he also hasn't demanded respect until very, very recently.

I want Nandor to allow himself to let go of his need to be a figurehead and I want Guillermo to allow himself to let go of his need to have the real power in the household. Neither one of them actually has to run things here, and they're making themselves miserable. I think if Nandor allows himself to serve Guillermo a little bit for once and if Guillermo allows himself to accept that help, they'll both be a lot happier.

They both need a vacation. :') A real one, not the year-long disaster we had between s3 and s4. Come on, guys, let yourself lean on someone for once and admit that you don't have all the answers.