#guys im back on my shakespeare bullshit

[left4deadstuck]

You bite your lower lip. You don't think being straight to the point with Karkat would be a good idea… Though you considered it heavily before ultimately choosing to go with an apology.

Okay… Here it comes.

Dave: hey. Dave: im… sorry Dave: im sorry man

Your voice is quiet. Maybe too quiet, making you think the other didn't hear you. So you look up to glance at the other.

Dave: genuinely i Dave: i didnt think wed see each other like

You don’t get the chance to finish before he raises his hand to cut you off.

Karkat: YOU KNOW IF I WANTED TO WATCH SOMEONE VOMIT THE FLIMSIEST APOLOGY KNOWN TO MAN, I'D GO OUTSIDE AND WATCH ONE OF THE INFECTED ASSHOLES OUT THERE THROW UP THEIR GUTS ONTO THE PAVEMENT. Karkat: AND IT WOULD STILL BE A BETTER "SORRY" THAN ANYTHING YOUR BATTER BRAINED SKULL COULD CONJURE UP RIGHT NOW. Karkat: SO SAVE US BOTH THE EMBARRASSMENT AND SHUT UP FOR GODSAKES

You scowl, back straightening. Goddamnit now you remember. Remember how much of a crabby jackass he is.

Dave: oh Dave: because sitting in the dark while silently death glaring at each other is productive Dave: cause we got all the time in the world to just kick back and do absolutely nothing but seethe at each other Dave: not like i was trying t

Karkat: TO DO WHAT EXACTLY? BE REMORSEFUL? BE ACTUALLY APOLOGETIC WITH NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE DESPITE KNOWING I CAN BE OF USE TO YOU? Karkat: DO YOU HONESTLY TAKE ME FOR SOME KIND OF FUCKING IDIOT?! Karkat: THAT I WOULD EVEN HUMOR THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY SORRY?!! Karkat: THAT I'LL JUST TOSS MY RESENTMENT AND FRUSTRATION OUT INTO THE ATMOSPHERE BECAUSE POOR OL' STRIDER IS JUST A PATHETIC LUMP OF BRUISES! Karkat: *FAT FUCKING CHANCE.* Karkat: YOU COULD BE FOLDED INTO THE MOST DISGUSTING AND AGONIZING EXAMPLE OF HUMAN ORIGAMI AND I'D STILL BE "SEETHING" Karkat: SO YEAH, *I’M SORRY* THAT I DECIDED NOT TO WASTE MY TIME AND ENERGY HEARING YOUR LOUSY ATTEMPT AT A HEART TO HEART

Dave: … Dave: sigh

Once upon a time Jade had asked you and your mutual group of friends to test out the latest version of her new project. A mental inventory system that had a very convoluted retrieval and sorting system. Luckily her team was quick to fix that after your group’s trials with it.

Jade never really told you exactly why, but you always speculated that some people on her team, or well, someone, didn’t really trust your legitimacy enough when signing your NDA. Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised you though, after all you have made a name for yourself with your bizarre level of spectacles you do for the sake of irony.

It did not thrill you to find out the next morning that you would now deal with the living embodiment of “stick up the ass” as your personal bodyguard for however long the trial had to last for. Despite your best efforts to get rid of the guy, you’ve quickly learned a few things about Mr. Vantas here. One of those things being that he is skeptical and stubborn to a fault.

Well, there it goes, your plans being haplessly thrown out the window! Poor sons of bitches didn’t even have a chance-

You hear a snap next to your ear

Karkat: JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU STOP MUMBLING TO YOURSELF FOR A SECOND AND PAY ATTENTION

Dave: what Dave: you have another drawn out monologue about how god awful i am? Dave: are you sure your throat can handle that shakespeare Dave: ya dont exactly have the voice for stage anymore with all that smoke Dave: but lets be real here Dave: its probably a good thing that you cant blow out anyone within a 10 ft radius of you eardrums anymore because you decided to make causal conversation

Karkat: YOU MOUTHY FUCKING PRICK- Karkat: CAN YOU DO THE WORLD Karkat: AND ME ESPECIALLY Karkat: A FUCKING FAVOR TO SHOVE WHATEVER BULLSHIT YOU HAVE IN YOUR WINDPIPE AND FUCKING LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO TELL YOU FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

Dave: ok sir ill be on my best behavior for "five fucking seconds"

Karkat:THANK YOU, GODDAMN. Karkat: AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO JUST KICK YOUR USELESS ASSES OUT OF MY HOUSE, I DON’T THINK I’LL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE A FIGHT BETWEEN YOUR POTENTIALLY TRIGGER HAPPY HELLSPAWN. Karkat: AND ALTHOUGH I THINK IT’S WITHIN MY RIGHT TO FEEL THIS LEVEL OF BRIGHT HOT ANGER TOWARDS ALL OF YOU… Karkat: SIGHS … I

He looks up at the ceiling as if his next few words are the greatest offense that any higher power could have subjected him to utter.

Karkat: (GOD I MUST BE MORE SICK THAN I THOUGHT.) Karkat: I, FOR SOME REASON THAT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE SEEING AS I HAVE DEALT WITH ENOUGH OF YOUR TOTAL TRASH FIRE OF A PREDICAMENT, BUT HERE I AM EVER THE GLUTTON FOR MORE SELF-INFLICTED MISERY

Dave: yeah yeah i get it Dave: im a dick get to the point

Karkat: I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE, YOU COMPLETE JACKASS!

Karkat: AND I HATE THAT CAUSE THAT RISKS MY LIFE FOR SOMEONE I ABSOLUTELY DON'T OWE SHIT TO, BUT NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TRY TO THINK OF A REASON TO JUSTIFY IT TO MYSELF I CAN’T. Karkat: I CAN'T LIVE EASY KNOWING THAT IF SOMEONE DIED, EVEN IF THAT SOMEONE IS FUCKING YOU...I Karkat: I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN SURVIVORS GUILT YOU YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Dave: oh Dave: uh Dave:th Karkat: NO SHUT THE FUCK UP Karkat: FUCKING Karkat: NO!

Karkat: HAVING A SENSE OF COMPASSION STILL DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT IT’S EITHER I HELP OR I DIE. Karkat: DON’T TAKE THE FACT THAT I SOMEHOW STILL HAVE MY MORALS INTACT AS FLATTERY. Karkat: INSTEAD BURY THAT IDEA SO FAR IN THE WORTHLESS SLUDGE YOU CALL A THOUGHT PROCESS UNTIL IT ATOMIZES INTO NONEXISTEN-!

He must've worked himself up. You watch him as he moves out of your space to turn and hack up a cloud of smoke. Well, if this isn’t just the perfect time to digest the clusterfuck he has given you. While it is great that he is going to help you out, he’s doing it out of fear and as fuck up as it is, it’s an advantage you have over him.

Though is it a good idea to go along with that? That could risk him fucking you all over and abandoning all of you last minute. You could gain his trust, maybe offer him something that he might want, but even then what would you give him, you have no clue if you have anything to offer him, not to mention that again, he could still just ditch the plan when the opportunity shows up.

What are you going to do?

===> AUDIENCE

[strawberryspence]

DAE's STEDDIE FICS

I am not taking requests right now.

🍦 Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson 🎸

Chaptered

for your eyes only (i'll show you my heart)

(7 Chapters completed on AO3)

“Damn you, Harrington.” Eddie shakes his head, looking back at the box again. He can see Robin looking at him, but Eddie avoids looking at her. He didn’t want to answer questions about his damn crush on Steve freaking Harrington and how he keeps getting more perfect by the minute. Eddie needs him to stop, like literally right now.

“Oh my god,” Dustin screams, making Eddie look at him from across the room. Eddie finds him staring at someone, so he follows his line of sight and finds one Steve Harrington, yeah, that one, the one he just asked a second ago to stop being perfect? Yeah, that guy is standing at the bottom of the stairs with a crumpled box in his hands and is wearing glasses.

Steve Harrington just exceeded perfect.

-

Or: 5 times Eddie falls in love with Steve wearing glasses and the 1 time Steve finds out.

choose the rose garden (over madison square)

(5 Chapters completed on AO3)

Eleven Blooms is Steve Harrington’s pride and joy.

The first time El visits the flower shop, she cries. She cries, and she cries, as Steve holds her in his arms, thanking her for everything she’s ever done for all of them, telling her that no matter how many flowers he’ll watch grow in his life, Jane Hopper would be the prettiest, brightest, strongest one of them all and it’s been a privilege to watch her bloom into the person she’s always meant to be

-

Or: It's 1991, Joyce and Hop are finally getting married. Steve owns a flower shop, Eddie's a rockstar and everyone's tired of their bullshit.

i’ve got you under my skin

(5 Chapters completed on AO3)

“Who’s getting married?” Steve whispers. Eddie smiles at him, and Steve swears he’s never seen that much of Eddie’s teeth.

“You and I, sweetheart. We’re getting married.”

Eddie gives him a look, thank God, something familiar in this whole mess. It’s the look that Eddie gives him that says Do this or I’ll fire you. Steve cocks his head, “Yes! Yes!”

He looks back at Gareth, “We are getting married.” Steve announces, enunciating every word.

Or: Steve Harrington has to marry Eddie Munson (also know as the Devil Incarnate), so Eddie won’t get deported back to Canada and for Steve to finally achieve his dream to be a producer.

Or: The Proposal AU Steddie Edition

One Shots

i saw the world crashing (all around your face)

(9,7k words)

"How're you feeling?" Eddie quietly whispers, the conversation private for just the two of them, even if there are people around them.

"Okay. I think. Your injuries hurt like a bitch." Eddie laughs, full-on paughs, his eyes wrinkling into a crescent. Dear fucking god, he had dimples. Yeah, Steve is a goner. Eddie Munson had a smile that could rival the sun. He thinks this might be his new life mission: make Eddie Munson laugh and smile for the rest of his life.

Or: Steve Harrington begs the universe to keep Eddie Munson alive while he carries him in his arms. Someone must have heard im in the Upside Down because Eddie's injuries transfer to him.

you're beautiful (every little piece, love)

(7,5k words)

Steve Harrington would do anything for the kids. Anything.

Apparently that includes shaving his hair.

shakespeare and warm drinks

(4,8k words)

She’s not sure of a lot of things. But here are three things Joyce Hopper knows right now:

1. She makes the best hot chocolates in Hawkins, maybe the whole of Indiana.

2. She loved Shakespeare in high school.

3. She is not a great matchmaker.

Or: The one where Joyce matchmakes Steve and Eddie: Shakespeare Style.

this love came back to me

(15,9k words)

"And you do know that people are curious, right?" Oprah pushes her glasses up, "Everyone is curious as to who and how you can write such heartbreaking songs without anyone ever seeing your date?"

The camera flicks to Steve, and he blinks back at her, "Yes. I am aware."

"Where is this muse?" The camera flickers between Oprah and Steve as they laugh at the question.

"My muse is chilling in the skies, watching me play. He's probably berating me for stealing his sweetheart."

Or: After Eddie's death, Steve returns to the Upside Down to retrieve his guitar. He learns how to play it and ends up becoming a famous singer, famous for his heartbreaking songs about longing and yearning for someone. For a while, that's it. It's not until sixteen years later, that some secrets are uncovered.

this umbrella belongs to me (to us)

(13,8k words)

Sarah Hayes is nineteen when she finds out she’s pregnant. She had just graduated high school, and she just gotten accepted into Indiana University, and this was supposed to be her year.

Now— now she’s pregnant.

Damn, Wade Munson and his damn smooth talking and his damn brown eyes. She should’ve never agreed on that date.

Or: 5 times fate tried to pull Eddie and Steve together through an umbrella, and the one time it finally brings them together.

lumière over me

(1,2k words)

Growing and changing will always be easier for Steve when Eddie’s with him. It doesn’t matter if it has been 10 years, 20 years or even 50 years.

Series

was there a lifetime waiting for us (in a world where i was yours?)

one: you're the pulse i've always needed

(9,2k words)

28 years after Eddie Munson's death, Steve Harrington watches The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and hears a song that changes his life.

two: my soul looks forward to loving you

(3 chapters completed on AO3)

"I don't shake hands." Eddie gives him a look. Steve can't decipher what it is. Fascination? Curiosity? Interest?

"Soulmate non-believer?" Eddie challenges.

Steve raises an eyebrow at him before answering, "Romantic soulmate non-believer."

"Shake my hand. Nothing's going to happen, love. Not ever.”

-

Or: In their next life, a universe where if you hold your soulmate's hand, you will see visions of a past life lived together, Stephen Buckley and Edward Munson both don't believe in soulmates.

[atlabeth]

10 things i hate about you part 4 - jj maybank x fem!reader

PART 3 | MASTERLIST | PART 5

a/n: damn i really cant put things out on a decent schedule huh? im so sorry this is coming out 3 weeks later lol hope it doesnt suck

warning(s): some very vague photography talk bc i didnt feel like doing hella research, y/n is an asshole, topper is an asshole, y/n hates jj some more but also doesnt, everyone has a fuuuun time

wc: 3.5k

“So, how is it going with the shrew?” Pope took a couple water bottles and a beer can out of the fridge, tossing the extra waters to John B and Kie and the can to JJ. “Is it everything you’ve ever dreamed of?”

JJ frowned as he caught the can and cracked it open. “The hell’s a shrew?”

Pope stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him. “Y’know, ‘The Taming of the Shrew’?” He was met with a blank look. “It’s Shakespeare, she’s like the shrew— you know what, nevermind. What’s it like trying to get with Sarah Cameron’s sister?”

“I would also like to know,” John B spoke up as he propped his feet up against the table. “I have another tutor session with Sarah tomorrow before school, and I gotta know how my chances are looking.”

Kiara snorted. “Ten dollars that she still hates him and nothing is ever going to happen.”

“Ever the pessimist, Kie,” JJ sighed with a shake of his head. “I’ll have you know that things are actually going pretty well! I hung out with her last Friday and watched as she keyed Topper’s car, then I got her number. I don’t know why everyone’s so scared of her — she’s not that bad.”

“That’s why people are scared of her,” Pope said. “Because she keyed the car of one of the richest guys on this island with no fear of repercussions.”

“She’s one of the richest girls on the island,” John B defended. “If she’s taking down kooks, that means we don’t have to.” He then looked back to JJ, eyes almost sparkling with hope. “So? Did you get a date with her?”

JJ pursed his lips. “That would still be a no.”

John B groaned as Pope and Kiara exchanged unsurprised looks. “Does anyone wanna give me my ten dollars?” she asked with a self-satisfied smile.

“Shut up, Kie.” John B sat up, now fully concentrated on the matter at hand. “What did you do with her? Did you even ask her out?”

“Of course I asked her out, man! I’ve asked out like, three times now.” JJ rolled his eyes and took a swig from his can. “She’s said no every time. I guess she’s not into surfing.”

“Surfing?” Pope couldn’t help his own bewildered laugh. “Man, do you even know her?”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware that you knew her,” JJ retorted. “Please, Almighty Heyward, do tell.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know her know her, but she’s in the running for valedictorian — smart people at this school are at least aware of each other. So trust me when I say she’s not a surfer bro like you. If you want her to tolerate you, then your best bet is getting into photography.”

“Photography?” JJ ran a hand through his hair and let himself fall back into the sofa. “I mean, she was taking pictures on the track the first time I talked to her. But are you sure that there isn’t anything else she’s really into? I don’t know shit about pictures.”

John B sighed. “I can always ask Sarah what she knows about her. I’m pretty sure she’ll help us with whatever if it means she gets a free pass to date.”

Kiara grinned at JJ. “Better start saving up for a camera, J.”

~~~~~~~~

johnny boy: i am very sorry to report that photography’s your best bet

johnny boy: sarah told me that it’s her number one thing, unless you’re looking to get into feminist literature

johnny boy: also you need to stop smoking. she hates it

goddamn

idk how im gonna handle this whole shitshow without weed lmao

you’re lucky that i like you so much and that topper is paying me a lot because this is really pushing it

johnny boy: i know and i will never stop thanking you

looks like i’m off to bullshit my way into her photo class!

And bullshit he did.

His guidance counselor was so desperate for him to get any kind of boost to his GPA that when he brought up the idea of adding a class to his already lacking schedule, he swore that she could’ve cried.

And that was how JJ found himself searching up how to take pictures and how to sound smart about photography on his phone ten minutes before the class began, leaning up against his locker with a determination not often seen in relation to school.

It was also how he found himself in another unwanted confrontation with Topper Thornton. JJ was unable to hold back an eye roll when he saw the kook walking towards him, and he was 99% sure he knew what this conversation was going to be about.

“Hey, asshole. You got anything to say about what happened last Friday, or do you just wanna start with paying me back for what happened to my car?”

Knew it. JJ glared at him. “Look, it wasn’t my fault. You’ve told me how horrible she is, so shouldn’t you have been expecting something like this? I mean, you’re the one that provoked her.”

Topper’s lip curled upwards. “You really got a thing for pushing your limits, huh, pogue? I’m paying you to take this girl out, not fuck up everything in the process.”

“Do you want to get with Sarah or not?” Topper kept his sharp gaze on JJ, but he didn’t back down. “You said it yourself — I’m the only one that can deal with her. So back the fuck off, and let me do my thing.”

“You’re this close, okay?” Topper held his pointer finger and his thumb so close together they were almost touching. “You’re this close to making me throw this whole thing out the window just so I can fuck you over.”

“Ooh.” JJ grimaced and shook his head. “Sarah doesn’t like violent guys, Top. I doubt she’d like you any more if you start beating up on poor, innocent pogues.”

Dealing with Topper Thornton was almost made worth it by seeing how angry JJ could make him, and this time he got his reward in the form of a clenched jaw and a glare surrounded in daggers. “I wanna see results soon, Maybank. My patience is really wearing thin with you.”

“Trust me. I want to be done with this as soon as possible too — dealing with you is exhausting.”

Topper huffed and walked off, causing JJ to chuckle at the abrupt end to their lovely conversation. It was too easy.

~~~~~~~~

The first thing you spotted when you walked into your classroom was the shock of blonde hair growing ever the more familiar. But along with the blue eyes came the usual downwards twist of your lips, and you purposely walked past him as you shrugged off your bag.

“Damn, Cameron,” JJ called as you went past. “You’re really gonna ignore me after all we went through together?”

“We didn’t go through anything together,” you responded curtly. You then took a seat and turned to him. “Now, what the hell are you doing here? I don’t know much about you, but I do know that JJ Maybank is not a photographer.”

He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Needed an extra class, wanted some extra appreciation for the arts. Not everything’s about you, Cameron.”

You rolled your eyes and turned your attention to the front as your teacher walked in, already beginning her daily tirade.

“Welcome back, everybody. I trust that you all had a good weekend?” Ms. Newman pushed the door shut and made her way through the room before taking a seat on the edge of her own desk. “Anyone wanna share?”

Nobody in the class raised their hand, and she sighed. “Okay, that’s about what I expected. I guess we’ll start with introducing our new students — JJ Maybank and Alicia Hawthorne.” She gestured to where JJ sat and then towards a dark-haired girl in the back. “They’re both new to this class, but I know that you’re both going to have a great time here.”

“A hundred percent,” JJ said, causing you to scoff when he gave a thumbs up that was just a little too eager. He responded by turning towards you and holding his pointer finger over his mouth in a ‘sh’ motion, and you just shook your head and crossed your arms. This kid was truly unbearable.

Ms. Newman chuckled and clapped her hands together as she moved over to her laptop, addressing the class once more after opening it. “Glad to hear that, JJ, because we’re starting off today strong. Those of you that have been in my class before know that I like doing three big projects, one at the beginning, middle, and end of the year — it’s the best way to see your progression as artists, and two of them technically count as your midterm and your final. Two birds with one stone.”

You sighed and leaned your head against your hand, already used to this lecture. You’ve had the good luck of being with Ms. Newman since your freshman year — by now, you could probably recite her project speech by heart.

“Our first project for this year is something a bit different from past years in that it’s going to take a bit longer than usual.” She taps the touchpad a couple of times and her screen is showing on the projector, showing a Google Doc with a whole list of instructions that you can’t force yourself to read. You might like photography, but the only reason you’re in this class is because it’s a requirement for yearbook. It’s stupidly easy, and you know that you’ll be able to handle whatever this project involves with your eyes closed and get an A doing it.

“A good portion of you are seniors, and I know that most of you probably want to get out of here as soon as you can. But high school is something that you’re going to miss once you leave, and you don’t want to move so fast that you don’t focus on any of it. The idea of this project is to make you slow down, to appreciate every day that passes while you’re still in the high school bubble.”

You rolled your eyes. The sooner you were off this island and 2000 miles away, the better.

“So your assignment for this first project is simple, but I hope it makes you think a little bit. Every day, starting today and ending on the first day of next month, you’ll take a picture. It can be of whatever you want, any part of your life, there just has to be a picture for every day of the month. At the end, you’ll put all your pictures together and present it, connecting it with an overarching story. It can be about what those pictures mean to you, what you were going through during that month — you can do anything you want, as long as it connects to you.”

You barely tip your head up as you look around the room, trying to gauge the reactions of the class. Most of them look annoyed, some of them look like they’re about to fall asleep, and JJ is looking at you. You give him your best glare then turn your attention back to the board.

“I recognize that a lot of you are busy with other classes, so I’m going to give the rest of the class to think up ideas and maybe get started with your planning. I’ll leave this up for reference, and feel free to ask any questions if you have them.” She smiles at the class, an expression that is not shared, and nods. “I’m looking forward to seeing what you all come up with!”

You were in the middle of taking out a notebook and a pencil to get started on some ideas when you hear Ms. Newman say your name, and your head perks up. “Could you come over here for just a moment? Oh, and you too, JJ.”

“...Sure.” You didn’t really have a choice, but any situation with you and JJ was enough to make you wary. You set your pencil on the table then walked over to her desk, JJ joining you a second later.

“As I’m sure you know, JJ is new to this class. We don’t exactly have enough funding at this school for the arts to have more than one level, so that means beginners and more advanced students have to work together in the same class.” Ms. Newman clasped her hands together and offered the two of you a slight smile. “I don’t mean any offense, but she is a lot more experienced than you, JJ. And because this project is a long-term one, I thought that it would be nice for the two of you to work together. You can sort of teach JJ the ropes of using a camera, make sure that he’s actually doing the right thing.”

It was a physical effort to keep your jaw off the ground, but you weren’t able to stop your eyes from widening. In your peripherals, you could see JJ grinning. “I think that’s a great idea, teach.”

“I, um— I don’t?” You placed your hands on the table and chuckled mirthlessly. “Full offense, but I have so many better things that I could do than teach him how to do something in a class he signed up for.”

“Watch your mouth,” Ms. Newman said with a pointed look at you. “You’re one of my most talented students, and that kind of talent could be used to help others find their passion instead of stewing in your own bitterness. JJ is someone that wants to learn, and you’re someone that can help him.”

You continued with your deadpan expression and she sighed once again. “If you do this for me, then I will give you a glowing recommendation for college.”

“I’ve already been accepted to UCLA,” you responded dryly.

“I’ll give you extra credit on this project.”

“I don’t need it.”

And for the first time in you think your entire high school career, Ms. Newman actually looks annoyed. “...I’ll lend you the good camera for the whole year.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “The Canon R5?”

Ms. Newman nodded, allowing a small smile at what she saw as a success.

With a huff of your own, you finally conceded. “Fine. I’ll do it. But bribery won’t work on me for anything else, okay?”

JJ held out his hand with another grin. “Looking forward to working with you, partner.”

With a roll of your eyes and an indignant scoff, you walked back to your seat. JJ shrugged and looked at Ms. Newman. “For the record, I think this is going to go great.”

~~~~~~~~

“Hey— can you slow down?”

You don’t even cast a glance behind you at the sound of JJ’s voice, and after a second he’s keeping pace with you through the hallways. The lingering threat of a partnership with JJ Maybank had been hanging over your head since you sat back down after the conversation, and you’re pretty sure the only reason JJ didn’t try to talk to you afterwards was because he didn’t want to cause a scene.

But now the day was over, and you weren’t as fortunate.

“What do you want?” you asked, making no effort to shield your annoyance.

“I think it’s pretty obvious what I want,” he responded. “We’re partners for this project, whether you like it or not. And since I have no idea how to use a camera, and you’re basically an expert…” JJ held up the camera already strapped around his neck, and you recognized it as one of the starters provided by the school for photography students. “Come on. You can spare an hour or two on a nature path or something, right?”

“I could, but I don’t necessarily want to.”

JJ sighed and he held his arm out in front of you, effectively stopping you in place but also earning him a sharp glare. “Come on, Cameron. What happened to all that soul-searching and deep talking on Friday? Do you really hate me that much?”

You continue to hold his gaze for precisely fifteen more seconds before you crack. “Fine,” you say pointedly. “But because I’m doing this for free, you’re going to get the barest basics that there are.”

You can see the tension in JJ’s shoulders dissolve and he grins. “You don’t hate me! I knew it” He claps you on the back and starts forward before stopping and turning partially towards you. “But uh— you should probably lead the way.”

The amount of times you’ve rolled your eyes around JJ Maybank has got to be unhealthy, but you do it once more as you start to walk again. “Don’t push your limits.”

He held up his hands in defense. “Are you gonna at least tell me where we’re going?”

You cast a small glance at him out of the corner of your eye. “Keep up and you’ll see.”

You spend the ten minutes that it takes to walk down to the track then over towards the woods to explain the bare basics you’re willing to give him, and to JJ’s credit, you think that he actually listens. Once you arrive at your destination, you spread your arms out to gesture at the woods around you.

“Welcome to the road barely off the beaten path,” you announce, twirling in a small circle as JJ stands a few feet behind you. “Cross country uses this for practice all the time, but the trees provide some decent lighting for some decent pictures.” You look right at him and give him a sarcastic smile. “Perfect for a decent guy.”

He returns your expression with a genuine smile and touches his hand to his heart. “I’m honored that you think so highly of me, Cameron. Now—” You’ve never been so scared for a camera as you are when JJ holds it up to his eye, and you’re more thankful for neck straps than ever. “—you wanna pose and be my first picture for this project?”

And that destroys any magic that had been created by his ever so slight interest in photography, and you answer his question with a glare. He responds by snapping a picture, and you roll your eyes and turn away.

“Perfect.” He grins and holds the camera up so you can see, but you barely even bother as you stick your hands in the pockets of your jacket. JJ sighs and puts the camera down so it’s hanging from his neck again, and he takes a few quick paces to catch up to you. “Are you like this with every person who tries to be nice to you?”

“Just the ones that annoy me.”

“Oh,” he nods. “So literally everyone annoys you.”

“Just about,” you agree. By now the two of you are walking down the path, JJ trailing slightly behind you as he badgers you with questions.

“Well, I don’t know if you could tell by the whole ‘asking you out and trying to get to know you’ thing, but I don’t want to be one of those people.” You stop in place as you turn on your heel and face him, crossing your arms in the process.

“Really?” you ask, slightly bemused.

“Yeah, really.” JJ runs his hand through his hair and shrugs. “I don’t know what it’s gonna take to get off of the list of people you hate, but I’m gonna try my hardest. Because you’re worth it, Cameron. I know that for a fact.”

That leaves you stunned. You’re not even able to think up some kind of witty retort as he starts walking away, and right before the path turns he faces you again. “Same place, same thing, tomorrow after school?”

It takes you a second, but you nod. “I guess.”

JJ smiles and nods as well, taking a few steps backwards as he maintains eye contact with you. “Cool. I’ll see you then, Cameron.”

You’re not even sure how long you stand there like an idiot, just trying to process what happened. By the time that you’re walking back to the school, you’re only really sure of one thing.

JJ Maybank is not who you thought he was. And maybe that’s a good thing.

~~~~~~~~

weird blonde kid: btw my friends and i are throwing a kegger at the boneyard on friday and it’s gonna be huge

weird blonde kid: you should definitely go with me

weird blonde kid: you’ll get so much street cred

you really don’t give up, do you?

i don’t need street cred

weird blonde kid: already told you that you’re worth it

weird blonde kid: i'm in it for the long game baby

weird blonde kid: so is that a yes?

no

weird blonde kid: then is is it a nooooo

no

weird blonde kid: i’ll see you at 9:30 then 😛

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz

obx: @pogueslandia

ttihay: @maybankbby @gabiatthedisco @the-romanian-is-bae @obx-pogues-4-life @oliviajaegerswhore @chaoticjjmaybank @its-simply-fanfiction @80strashbag @sinnerluh @shephard17895 @onlyangel-444 @silverbyeol @miniiminie

[humankoalaa]

BLACK LIGHTNING! 4x03

*SPOILERS*

- timeout. y’all mean to tell me.. even in dreams my grandfather is STILL getting his ass whooped?! childish.

- no he didn’t just bite into his twin. tell me tobias don’t resemble that turkey leg. his beard the skin, his head the meat, and his neck the leg.

- “you the one with the Phd... you tell me” 🤣🤣 respect your elders granddaddy.

- i think the dream mean he aggravating. put the fuckin suit on and go pawpaw.

- lawd everytime jeff says “my best friend” i be in tears like my grandmother once that green light hit the floor. RIP UNC.

- not the self loathing again 😒 shondra... play nina simone.. isn’t it a pity 🙂

- grandma... WHY?! WHHHHYYYY?!

- “hypocrisy looks good on you” 😩 grandpa... please.

- this mans called the lady a weekend warrior but he’s a whole metahuman in the therapist office crying bout a dream 🤣 she got to be a weekend warrior hell. all you do is cry and bullshit. and yalll daughters reckless, petty, and messy okay? don’t even get me started. my mother and my auntie a whole different type of liability 😭

- karen.... shut up. don’t come for my auntie unless she send for you. .your hair don’t make sense and that lipstick can’t be lighter than the red that is the color of your dress. bitch.

- “there’s no such damn thing as superHERO insurance” 🗣 BIIIIIIITCH 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

- *lethal lightning* KAREN... P L E A S E ! 🤣🤣

- “becky from the block” 😭 auntie jenniferr... settle down.

- anissa and jenn banter 10/10 HIGHLY RECOMMEND 🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

- it’s the “says the woman who leaves giant cracks in the streets just by landing dramatically .. you can just walk anissa” for me 🤣 see?! i told y’all my auntie was messy.

- lynn in the background just completely done with both her children and their shit 🤣🤣

- this show is so unapologetically black i love it. please tell me y’all saw anissa actually im gonna say nafessa scratching that scalp with a whole attitude 🤣🤣

- “bye lethal lightning” 💀 see i told y’all my mother was petty.

- “now put my show back on” 🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ mawmaw... where are your manners?!

*that whole scene was actually really cute tho*

- ion know about this lady that uncle gambi sweet on. somebody using somebody... most likely gambi 🤣 but ion truss her and unc have his reasons to do the things he does. periodt. i can’t ship this. issa whole canoe in 7 foot seas.

- “mr. pierce .. who do you think i am... black lightning?” ... Jeff looking at him liike... “first of all... you would’ve had to lose that fight to be black lightning... so no”

- NOT MY MOTHER GIVING MY COMATOSED MOTHER SLASH PET SLASH ... whatever the old man is A SPONGE BATH 😭 IMMA DROWN IN MY TEARS 😭 nah fuck all at. just give me a suitcase for my tears.

- no woman ive ever dated has had conversations with me like the one anissa is having with a comatosed grace. embarrassing.

- “babe” *says some more shit* “babe” *says some more shit* “babe” *says some more shit* gimme a fucking bucket. IMMA MESS 😭😭 shondra.. play brandy... have you ever.

- “i did it without violence” ... anissa.. we not doin that. we aren’t lying to people in comas 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

- “damn babe ...you’re a lil ashy today” ANISSA. PLEASE! 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀 SHE IS 🤏🏾 CLOSE.. to getting fucking mauled by my pet leopard.

*okay but nafessa williams is beautiful*

- first of all you not gon tell that lady she ashy then say send me a sign you still in there cause a future and all that other shit 😂 apologize.

- TIMEOUT. GRACE. no she didn’t.. even in a coma, grace is dramatic. how you gon flatline after my mother said she loves you?! that’s not what she meant when she said give her a sign 😩 oh my goodness. 🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ STOP THE MADNESS! PLEASE!

- it’s anissa going “hmm?” for me, after asking a comatosed grace a question. im going to hell i know.

- WHERE IS NOAH AND THE ARC 😭😭😭😭 *lion king rafiki voice* “SHES ALIIIIIIIIVE” ... shondra... play whitney houston.. one of those days”

-first word and question post coma.. “anissa?” my shirt is soaked. im gonna have a water bed by the end of this scene. JUST don’t even look at me. brb flooding the world with my tears after i finish my ovaltine.

- anissa talking about “how are you” 😂🤦🏾‍♀️ grace looking at her like “... uhhh.. i don’t see a fucking feeding tube.. im starving“

- TC looking handsome! done upgraded from them fits he was wearing from 1800 BC. i love him and jenns friendship so much.

- well when you put it like that mawmaw 🥺 shondra... play bruno mars.. just the way you are.. nah fuck that play uhh... aretha franklin.. respect” 😌

- we literally don’t care about this fighting shit 😒

- WAIT A MINUTE! i know that’s not william from girlfriends looking like whatever he got going on uhh everywhere 😩

- “you’re my electric queen” 🤣 same terry. same.

- no he didn’t 🤣🤣 tawm bout a kiss 😂

- man i just KNEW gambi ass was gon steal one of those guns 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

- wow ...they actually let jeff win a fight? after he got his ass whooped of course. childish.

- oooooo LYNN!!!! look at my grandmother. michelle obama energy. yes lawdt. beautiful!

- OH ... no.

- shondra.. . play.. uhh... dammit.... kehlani... nights like this”

- no this man didn’t 😩 my grandmother slayed to the gods only to be tricked by a turkey leg lookin mans? complete madness.

“even a broke clock tells the truth twice a day” 🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

- aww lawd.. shondra .. uhh im manifesting my grandmother not falling for mr. whales bullshit so uhm ..play.... christina aguilera .. fighter”

- writers... y’all really want me to believe Jeff thinks lynn just casually bought him flowers and put a note in it to meet her for dinner? ok.

- shondra ... nevermind.

- “you look like trash” 🤣

- hmm... that was weird... the whole thing with jenns arm like disappearing.. last time that happened was when she was struggling in those alternate universe to not become the worst version of herself... hm.

- jenn.... 🤦🏾‍♀️

- grace looking at dr. morgan like... *let me find out you tried to ask my soon to be wife in about 15 seconds out for drinks.. and don’t look at me”

- “i paid him 20 dollaz” 🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ i love my aggravating mother.

- “baby.. you are the love of my life .. will you be my wife too” 😭😭 a poet. william shakespeare could never .

- G R A C E ... lets play a game.. it’s called ...sAy I lOvE yOu BaCk!

- “yes... i do” .. close enough. next week we try again ❤️

- first of all y’all gon’ have to fight me because i am here for the fastest wlw marriage in the history of television. it’s the last season and long overdue for anissa and grace just being happy. dragging stuff out and angst like we’ve had enough and that was barely. so im excited to see where they go from here.

-oooo lawd jeff done seen tobias and lynn dining together 😩 shondra... play... luther vandross.. are you there.. with another guy 👀

goodnight. this episode was everything. so messy 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

from an anon, about parents and school

(it's just long, that's why it's under a break XD)

here's my proposition: make parents understand that not every child should conform to whatever traditional career paths that exist. as an asian, i could feel the pressure to take science like a fucking boulder on my body. i have to rant a bit.

i am the younger sibling, my brother is two years elder to me. i was never instilled any curiosity in anything science related, i was kinda left all by myself lol. my brother tho, maybe because he was older or because he was a guy (yeah LMFAO), was encouraged AND involved in a LOT of coding, mechanix (its a construct-ur-own-stuff thing).

i guess i never really noticed until i was leaving middle school, that i was not as smart as him, and would probably never be. but i had other strengths he didnt have. i love writing, im pretty good at it. i am analytical and subejctive, i like thinking and making conclusions about things. i mean i guess i've figured out what i could be better at, right? but the problem?

its that my parents dont see it. its as if they dont know me or they DO know me and are just forcing the things they need onto me. it feels selfish of them to completely forgo my actual strengths. like YES OK i UNDERSTAND i can never be as smart as my brother, but u dont have to pretend like i can. because pretending that i can achieve whatever he has, is just going to affect YOU. because i have accepted long ago that some things arent for me.

they think i dont want to put effort into anything i do. that im lazy and want the easy way out. god, every time they say this i want to honestly show them that its the things IM interested in, where i put in the work. its so belittling.

ive written articles abt bts, their music, about how carl jungs theory of archetypes and i occasionally ask a lot of questions about the world to you (hi lol). i just dont get why they want me to waste energy on something im clearly uninterested in.

short answer, point to BTS and say, "They're Asian, they make tons of money. Leave me alone."

just kidding XD

If I'm being serious, I don't think they will change their mind. They will continue to force their ideals onto you, because they believe in certain career paths had assured success and that is what they are after. They either want you to make a certain amount of money, have a certain status in life, or simply know that you can obtain a stable job. To be honest, these are not really traditional career paths at all if you think about it. Becoming a doctor takes many, many years and it is hard ass work. Parents just make it seem as if these are the only jobs available to you, even if you know it's not true.

Men vs women in Asian countries, well, I feel everyone knows this, but many Asian parents born in their respective countries put more effort into their sons than daughters. Firstborn son? He probably walks on water to them XD

I understand what you mean when you say your parents do not understand. This might sound egotistical (it does now that I'm writing it, I am very sorry) but I was the one in my family who got the best grades. None of my siblings got better grades than me (basically I had a 4.0 from middle school to university), and do you think with all that I would be immune?

Nope.

I am good at the sciences and I am good at the humanities as well. I had an interest in reading, writing, and drawing. Reading fiction, I could pass it off to educate myself. Writing? I could pass it off as something for school. But drawing?

Woo, boy.

This was a constant fight. I do not back down (a rebel, wcyd) and I drew and it would get ripped apart. I drew and it would get torn up and thrown away. I drew and and would be beaten, yelled at, constantly belittled for my interest in it even though I was good at the sciences and math. To my mom (my dad doesn't count, he had zero interest in parenting) - if she did not think it was going to make money in the future, it was useless. If I could not spin it into profit, I should not be doing it (very fun childhood I had, yes). The most ironic thing is, after I became an adult, she suggested I start drawing again and sell it to make money.

Hello?

You literally forced me to stop drawing because you constantly connected it with negativity???

(not now, I have since stopped talking to her and started drawing again and it is purely for myself, not to show anyone else, I do not even post it on social media or show anyone irl)

Not saying your parents will act like mine, btw, only sharing my experience.

The idea that you'll never be as smart as your brother? That's bullshit lol. That's like saying intelligence is only valuable if it's science or math, which, as you know, is not true. You are you. He is himself. It is not you cannot do those things. It is that those things are not what you want to focus on. You have a limited amount of time in this life and you have chosen the things you want to delve into and explore.

You don't have to be good at everything. Everything is just not good enough for you.

I am of the mindset that you should try and learn everything you can about this world. I love learning, personally. I think knowing everything I know, from the humanities to the sciences, enriches my life and gives me a broader perspective.

But I totally understand how you feel, because being pushed into something makes you end up hating it. Parents push their kids to learn this or that and kids end up resenting schoolwork because it doesn't feel like something they wanna do anymore. It's just adults yapping in their ears and it feels pointless. Grades aren't everything. You think anyone cares that I aced Physics with Calculus I and II as an adult? LMAO, no one gives a shit. You passed, good enough XD

Here's how I think you should treat school. It's not the content that matters. It's you understanding how you learn each subject. Every subject is different and how you learn them is different. It is not because you are bad at the subject, it is because you haven't figured out the best learning style for you. Teachers have to teach a mass of students and, yes, I understand this seems very tedious to have to "teach yourself".

The skill in learning to learn becomes so, so valuable as an adult. It is how you maintain interest in things, how you develop new interests, and how will come to find meaning (in whatever you want to focus on finding meaning for). I'm not saying that you will be able to find your perfect learning style in every subject, but I am encouraging you to simply see it in that light.

And, you might find certain things to be not that important to you, in which case, just pass the class, it's totally fine if it's not going to help you for the career path you're going for XD Nobody asks me about the themes of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (tbh, a pair of overdramatic loons) or how I feel about Sigmund Freud (actually a twat, but that's neither here nor there).

Let them talk. That one that walks your path is you. Focus on what you want to focus on. They are set in their ways and they way to show them there are different paths is to walk them.

[sentfromwolves]

oc prompt game .  ( queen of the meadows. uselessness / mars & laurel ) 

< hoes b4 bros >

hwa: mom

hwa: mom

hwa: mom

starmom: son wuat the fuck its 4am

hwa: o fuck i forgot timezones again

hwa: wait

hwa: why r u up ! !!  

hwa: MOM

hwa: go 2 SLEEP

starmom: no now im here and awake and alive enough whats up son

hwa: mom we need an intervention (go 2 sleep)

starmom: jesus christ

starmom: for who

hwa: mars said he wants 2 marry the dude from his plant class (seriously!! GO. TO. BED)

starmom: that class started literally 2 days ago

hwa: I KNO!!!!! (pls, mom, for the love of everyone around u and also me, get some sleep)

aspen groans and rolls over in his bed, peeling himself away from his sheets and staring groggily at his phone. it’s not unlike mars to get fleeting, would-be crushes on other green witches in his classes. usually he’ll ogle them for a day or two, wax poetic about their ass, and then move on. he’s a tall kid with a heart of goddamn gold, and wears every single emotion he ever owns on his sleeve. it’s caused trouble more than once, but generally he’s pretty good about loving, and realistic expectations, and knowing that you can’t marry a guy you met two days ago. frozen proved that much, if nothing else.

still, he cracks open the door to his room and sidles down the hall and peeks up the stairs. there’s no movement, but something clinks in the kitchen that connects to the living room, and he ambles in that direction, wondering what he’ll find. maybe yonghwa had also been texting cobalt, who is a habitual night owl. maybe cobalt is also in on this intervention thing too. after all, their witch bonds are stronger than most. when one of them feels something too strongly and doesn’t clamp down on it, often times the others will feel it too. and aspen knows that most of them have been feeling pretty ecstatic over the last few days, the stress mitigated by the unbridled adrenaline and raw energy of diving back into classes, into a sea of new faces and old as the new semester cracks open like an eggshell suspended above all of their heads.

what he finds isn’t cobalt hunched over the fridge with three popsicles sticking out of his mouth (a regular occurrence during summer). what he finds is mars draped over the living room couch holding his hand over his forehead dramatically, a spoon hanging from his fingers and a half-empty jar of gelato (his gelato, aspen realizes with a little bit of exasperation), looking like he’s ready to be painted by a young leonardo dicaprio.

“um,” aspen says, “you okay in there, buddy?”

“aspen,” mars says. “can you marry a guy you just met?”

goddamn it. they really do need an intervention.

“no, mars,” aspen says with all the patience of a man who just woke up at 4am because his witch family are being dumbasses. “you can’t marry someone you just met.”

“fuck,” mars says, and sits up. “okay, plan b.”

“plan b?”

“i’m gonna ask him on a date.” mars looks fiercely determined. so determined, in fact, that aspen breaks out into a laugh that threatens to wake cobalt up from his dead slumber upstairs.

“what?!” mars demands, his voice pitching high. “what’s so funny?”

“it’s just,” aspen says. “no, you know what? i’m not even going to say it. okay, so you’re gonna ask - “

“hot greenhouse man,” mars says dreamily.

“you’re gonna ask hot greenhouse man on a date,” aspen says. “cool. and how are you gonna do that?”

mars face drains of all color. because for all of his open-hearted adoration for people, his poetic compliments, his easily obtained sincerity, mars has never asked a person out before in his life. in the realm of dating, he’s as good as useless, and aspen’s gonna let him flounder a bit in the blind, desperate hope that he learns how to swim.

“i’m,” mars says, sputters, and says again, “i’m gonna figure that out. right. now.”

“cool,” aspen says, planning for the inevitability of mars chickening out by the time the sun has risen in the sky. “i’m going back to bed while you do that. wake me up when there’s breakfast being made.”

mars, in fact, wakes him up later on when breakfast is (rather poorly) made.

he also tells him that he knows hot greenhouse mans name courtesy of one of his rather nosy, gossipy friends.

his name is laurel. and aspen is worried he’s going to break mars heart.

***

aspen doesn’t have to worry for long.

the moment he meets laurel, he knows that this is as good as fate crashing into his living room floor and starting a forest fire. laurel has the fucking heart eyes of the century every time mars back is turned, and for all of their early floundering, he’s a good soul with a cute smile and (currently) light blue hair that fluffs up to minty green whenever he gets excited or happy.

however, there is one big problem. the biggest fucking problem in aspens world. something that keeps him up late at night, staring at his ceiling, asking the universe how two people can be so stupid that it’s almost funny for everyone involved except it really isn’t because how is he, the good samaritan stuck between a rock and two love-struck people so dumb about the feelings of the other that they don’t even know how to act, supposed to sleep soundly when he can’t knock the minute amount of sense into his best friends head to do the right thing?

the right thing, of course, being to ask one another on a date.

“three months,” yonghwa says on the phone with him one night. “aspie, it’s been three months and neither of them have asked each other out?”

“i know,” aspen moans, hitting his head against his desk, hands in the air. “i know! they’re both like, oh wow, look at this beautiful friend i made. and then mars waves him out of the house, turns around, and starts screaming because he’s so fucking in love! how can he not just - just ask him out? how is this hard?”

“listen,” yonghwa says, “i’ve seen one whole picture of them together and i don’t think i’ve ever seen someone look at mars the way laurel looks at mars. that guys whipped. and he’s not even gonna ask him out?”

“they’re dense, hwa,” aspen bemoans, lifting his head. “dense as bricks. denser than bricks. it’s like the cauldron gave them all the good looks in the world and then was like, hey you know what? good looks? well then i guess you can’t have any braincells around each other!”

“could you,” yonghwa asks, “could you like, give them a nudge? a push? a kick in the ass? throw them off a cliff.”

“i’ve tried everything,” aspen says, and looks up at his computer screen. yonghwa is bent over, painting his toenails as he speaks, the glittery polish he’s using apparently magically scented with blackberries and vanilla. “i straight up said, now is your chance mars, go ask him out! and he just looked at me like this deer in headlights. what if he says no, he said. what kind of bullshit!”

“useless,” yonghwa says, blowing on his big toe. the enchanted blow dryer aspen had sent him for christmas dances around his head, drying out his recently dyed silver-purple hair. “i wish i was there. i would just do it for them.”

“i wish you were here too,” aspen says, breaking from his complaints to let his words flow with genuine fondness. “i’m excited for when i can finally have you back here for real. i miss you.”

“i miss you too, aspie,” yonghwa says, and smiles up at him through the camera. “it’s only a while longer. and then the whole family will be together.”

“not quite,” aspen grumbles. “laurel should be part of this family. hell, he spends enough time over here that he should be on my chore wheel.”

“ah yes, the chore wheel,” yonghwa says sagely. “you should just add him. maybe they’ll finally get the hint.”

“no,” aspen says. “they’re both fools in love. i really don’t know what to do.”

yonghwa tilts his head thoughtfully.

“maybe,” he says, “they just need to suffer a bit more, and then they’ll figure it all out.”

“maybe,” aspen replies, but he really doesn’t think so, but he pulls all of his blind hope and shoves it into that one, tiny word.

***

one month later, aspen snaps.

it starts on a friday afternoon, when he hears the door bang open and closed, and a wail reaches his room where he’s trying desperately to finish a lit essay while talking with emerson about latin translations and books that he wants to set on fire.

“i gotta go,” aspen says, glancing behind him at his door.

“gotcha,” emerson, “wanna come over and dramatically recite shakespeare with me while i pretend to care about grading these papers?”

“please,” aspen says, “i think i’ll need it.”

“cocoa or tequila?” emerson asks knowingly. “or do you want some sort of bliss tonic? I think we have some leftover from the party.”

“cocoa,” aspen says, “i love you. talk to you later.”

“doors unlocked!” emerson calls after him before he ends the call.

in another life, aspen thinks, he’d ask emerson out on a date. but harper is madly in love with him, and aspen is madly in love with harper, and so he stays out of both of their paths, knowing better than to get in the way of something that could be wonderful for the two of them.

sighing, aspen closes his laptop, stands up, and prepares for the worst.

mars is on the kitchen floor.

aspen fights two spontaneously grown thorn bushes, a snapper plant that descended from the ceiling to eat his hair, and three rows of angry, bushy cactuses that have since surrounded the open dishwasher and its surroundings with all the grace he can muster.

mars doesn’t so much as move or bat an eyelash at him when he comes to stand at his head. he’s face down on the granite, arms splayed out in front of him, and he looks, quite frankly, like he’s just keeled over and died in the middle of the day.

aspen does the nice thing.

he kicks him (gently) in the head.

mars lets out a pathetic cry.

“what happened,” aspen says, and it’s not a question.

the only other time mars poisoned the whole kitchen with toxic plants, it had been because someone had called him a giraffe and he’d cried all the way home. he’d been seventeen at the time.

mars rolls over onto his back and stars up at aspen. he’s on the verge of tears.

“oh my god,” aspen says, crouching down. “baby.”

“aspen,” mars croaks. “i’m a dumb person.”

“oh my god,” aspen says. “no you’re not, mars. tell me what’s wrong.”

he sits down gingerly, ignoring the cactuses around them, and mars scoots up a little so he’s laying with his head in aspens lap as aspen brushes his fingers through the boys hair.

“i really like laurel,” mars says, like it hasn’t been painfully obvious for four months now. “like, really, really like him.”

“yes,” aspen says. “i know.”

“cool,” mars replies, staring glassy eyed at the ceiling. “so today, i go into the greenhouse early because like, i’m planning to give him this cactus i found down at the gardens to laurel, because the needles don’t hurt at all and make little bubbles when you tickle the head.”

“okay,” aspen says.

“and there he is,” mars says, lifting his hands to the ceiling like he’s looking at heaven and laurel is up there somewhere too. “beautiful. haloed in light. perfect. the most amazing guy i’ve ever been blessed with. and he’s getting kissed by some other dude.”

okay, that’s a hold up. laurel? kissing another man?

“are you sure?” aspen asks.

laurel has been madly in love with mars for months. this story doesn’t make any sense.

“yes!” mars exclaims. “like, the cutest fucking gesture and he’s just sitting there, laughing as it happens! and i’m sitting there with this stupid cactus like, oh! that’s why he never asked me out. he must’ve been like, dating this hot dude this entire time and was just taking - what, i don’t know - pity on me or something! i look stupid.”

mars actually wails at this.

“i’m a dumbass!”

aspen frowns.

“no,” he says, leaning down to kiss mars forward. “you’re absolutely not a stupid person, mars. you’re the best, sweetest, greatest person i know. and if that’s really true - which i’m not saying it is - then laurel is missing out on something incredible.”

“but i don’t want him to miss out,” mars says, and sobs.

“i know,” aspen says, immediately planning either murder or the biggest fucking Mom Talk he’s ever going to have in his life. “i know, baby. you’re the best thing i’ve ever had in my life. and you deserve the stars.”

***

the stars hiss at aspen the moment laurel makes it into their front garden, telling him hurriedly that the boy he’s been waiting on to arrive is finally here.

aspen checks his watch.

cool, three hours since mars breakdown.

enough time for aspen to school all of his emotions into neat little lines and prepare for whatever the fuck is about to happen downstairs. as requested, cobalt is diligently distracting mars upstairs with video games and an ongoing call with yonghwa, who’s hollering memes at them while dancing to the ponytail song aggressively.

aspen goes downstairs and opens the door.

laurel is standing on his porch looking wildly out of breath.

“is mars here?” he asks, all of his words blending together into one massive slur.

“amazing,” aspen replies. “you’re both useless.”

laurel freezes.

“um,” he says, very eloquently. which is great, because aspen doesn’t have time for him to go on any sort of ramble that dodges the point. aspen’s nonexistent love life might be a hot garbage fire that he’s given up controlling, but he’s not about to let mars go down in flames over what he hopes and prays is a misunderstanding of cosmic proportions.

“no,” aspen says, shutting laurel’s mouth with an audible click. “nope. don’t talk, laurel. it’s my turn. i get to talk now. mars is upstairs, by the way. my kitchen is a nightmare. and if this conversation doesn’t go right, i’m going to make you clean every single cactus out of my dishwasher before you leave.”

“what?” laurel asks, dumbly.

“listen to me very carefully,” aspen says. “mars likes you a lot. he might even love you, and for mars, that’s a monumental thing. he’s wanted to ask you out since he met you. he’s so far down the rabbit hole of affection for you that i don’t think his heart has room for literally anything else.”

laurel sits there gaping like a fish out of water. jesus christ - had he really been so dumb?

aspen tries to boil down every strand of exasperation in him.

“today,” he says, “even after months of friendship, you kissed someone else in front of him.”

“i - what?”

“don’t ‘i - what’ me, mars was crying on my kitchen floor for two hours because of this,” aspen says. “if you really didn’t notice that he was madly interested in you and you were just wanting to be friends, then i might be able to forgive that when mars recovers. and that’s a big if. but if you were leading him on, thinking it was cute to have him fawn over you while stringing him along, i will personally - “

“waitwaitwait,” laurel says, loudly, holding out his hands. “wait, aspen! please!”

aspen frowns at him, in what he hopes is his best scolding mom stare.

“you have five seconds,” he says, “go.”

“this is a whole, big, wild misunderstanding!” laurel says, so loudly his voice has to carry out through the whole house. “the guy that kissed me was one of my old frat brothers! he was just coming by to say hi! he’s got a girlfriend and a boyfriend for godsake! it was just - just platonic. i don’t feel that way about anyone but mars! i’ve wanted to marry that guy for months now. literally marry him! i’ll even get down on one knee - “

laurel is jumping down onto the ground before aspen can stop him, even as he rushes forward, trying to stop this mess of a man from also destroying his house with blooms of crazy fucking plants. he can already see the dirt around his front yard sifting, little tendrils of greenery poking on through.

“laurel!” aspen says, loudly. “laurel, please - “

“i love him!” laurel shouts. “please, aspen. i really love him! can i see him? i can explain it all, really, i just want to see - “

“laurel?”

aspen turns around.

mars is standing in the hallway, illuminated in the soft gold of the fairy lights floating around the ceiling, swimming like snakes above their heads.

he looks stunned and a little bit awkward, his massive cardigan slouching off of his shoulders, hair a mess, eyes tear-streaked and nose rudolf-red.

“mars,” laurel says, from his kneeling position in front of aspen. “mars.”

he stands up and aspen moves out of the way. laurel crosses the hall to mars and without hesitation, takes mars face in his hands and kisses him hard on the mouth.

aspen feels like he’s part of a korean drama. he thinks he must be at the season finale, because how could anything in his life get more dramatic than this?

“oh my god,” cobalt says from the stairway, holding his phone up and videotaping the entire thing. “they really are useless in love.”

aspen knows he should say something, because the whole hallway is filling with cherry blossoms and red roses, massive lilies and blooming sunflowers. but for a moment, he just sits down hard, and agrees with cobalt’s assessment. mars and laurel are useless in love.

but their love is more gorgeous and brilliant than anything aspen has ever seen before.

and how could something so beautiful be useless at all?

come ask my flower prompt questions here!

[mindflayedr-blog]

You Make It Easy - Billy Hargrove // p. 2

Setting: December of 1984

➳ You struggle to not fall in love with the boy next door, but what you don’t know is that he already fell for you.

!! the first part did so well im actually surprised !! tysm i really appreciate the feedback <3 here’s part two and part three’s in the works :)) There might be some mistakes that I missed, I apologize in advance :o) Feedback is deeply appreciated tysm again!!

Word count: 2k words again yeehaw 

Warnings: cursing as usual

   It was the day before Christmas Eve, you asked Billy to drive you around Hawkins since your parents asked you to buy gifts for your relatives in New York. Your parents planned on visiting New York the next day, they, of course, invited you to join them but you instead volunteered to stay and watch the house while they were away visiting relatives. 

   Billy was happy to accompany you to stores, he would follow you wherever you go and gave his opinions on things when you asked for it. You thought he’d get bored watching you shop for almost the whole day, but he showed no signs of disinterest. He was fun to be around and you were glad he agreed to accompany you. His presence made a seemingly boring task fun. 

“Y/N take a look at this,” Billy called for you from another aisle of the store you two were currently in. You walked towards the sound of his voice and found him wearing a Christmas antler headband, “—Don't I look cute?” He chuckled while bobbing his head to make the little bells on the antler ring. 

You giggled at the sight of him. “You know what? You actually do but,” you took the headband from him, earning a scowl from Billy. You placed the headband on your head and smiled at him smugly. “I think I look cuter.” 

“I won’t argue with that.” Billy replied smiling a smile that made your heart skip a beat. He always managed to make you feel this way and you didn’t like the feeling. It felt wrong and inappropriate since Billy was your best friend.

“Wait put this on again, let me take a picture.” You took the headband off your head and handed it back to him. You dug through your purse for your Polaroid camera and pulled it out once you found it.

“Show this to anyone and you’re dead, Y/L/N.” Billy threatened, but you knew he didn’t mean it. Billy reluctantly placed the headband back on his head and smiled for the camera.

“Why? Are you scared to ruin your reputation? Scared that people would think you’ve gone soft?” You teased as you pressed the button to take a picture. 

“That’s exactly why. Are you going to take another one or are we done here?” 

You shook the picture, watching the picture of Billy develop. Once it was done developing you smiled at the photo, it was cute and it showed who Billy Hargrove really was. Under his tough exterior is a soft and caring boy that only you get to see.

“Let me just take a hundred more so I can show the whole town.” You joked making Billy practically yank the headband off his head. 

“So this is why you’ve been bailing on us, you’re too busy entertaining whores.” An unfamiliar voice called from the entrance of the store followed by a chorus of laughter. You turned around to see who it was and saw a couple of guys around Billy’s age. 

“Don’t you ever fucking call her that,” Billy snapped as he charged towards the group of guys, “You’re fucking dead Tommy, you hear me?” 

You grabbed the back of Billy’s jacket, pulling him back with all your might. He struggled against your hold, wanting so badly to hurt the person who insulted you.

“Billy it’s okay, it’s not worth it. I don’t give a shit, it’s fine. Please Bill, stop!” You pleaded as you continue to pull him back. You could hear the group of guys laughing as Billy struggled to release himself from your grip. Eventually, your hold faltered which allowed him to escape. The way he walked towards the group made your skin crawl. As he stepped closer and closer to the group, you saw them began to panic, especially Tommy. Some of Tommy’s friends even walked out of the store, not wanting to get their ass beaten. You raced towards Billy to try to break off the potential fight but you were unfortunately not fast enough, Billy already grabbed a hold of Tommy’s collar and began to drag him outside. You burst out the door panicking, you didn’t want Billy to get in a fight because of you.

“Billy please! Stop! It’s not worth it! You could get in trouble, come on Billy please just take me home!” You shouted firmly, but despite that Billy didn’t seem to hear. You watched as he slammed Tommy on the snow covered pavement, preparing to punch the living daylights out of him. 

“IT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I’LL STOP JUST PLEASE DON’T-“ Tommy’s pleas were stopped by Billy as he took a hard blow at Tommy’s jaw. 

“BILLY STOP! JESUS CHRIST!” You screamed as you pulled him back with all of your strength, giving Tommy a chance to escape. Billy turned towards you with anger in his eyes which gave you goosebumps, but you ignored the feeling. You cupped his face and looked at him straight in the eye, “Billy breathe, it’s okay. Calm down.” You said in a soft voice, trying to calm him down.

“He called you a whore, Y/N! Why didn’t you let me beat his ass?” Billy responded angrily but the terrifying fire in his eyes disappeared. 

“It’s not worth it, that’s why. He’s  just being stupid and immature, picking a fight with guys like him is unnecessary.”

“Are you fucking serious? That’s how you’re going to react? You’re just going to let him say that shit about you? I can’t believe you!” Billy retorted, taking your hands off his face. He walked away from you and headed towards his car, you followed behind him. 

“You need to have patience, Bill. We could’ve handled that differently. Better yet, you could’ve just let me handle it. Beating the shit out of him won’t solve anything.” You said calmly as you opened the car door and stepped inside, Billy did the same except he opened the door so harshly that you were afraid it was going to be ripped off. 

“That’s fucking bullshit, he needed to get his ass handed to him! He can’t say shit like that to you, I won’t allow it. I’m going to find him and I’m going to beat his sorry little ass.” He started the car and sped away, you sighed in frustration and turned away from him to focus on the surroundings on your window.

“Whatever Hargrove, do what you want.” You replied coldly, now ignoring him. 

Billy didn’t bother to reply, the car ride was silent after that. Billy sped around downtown Hawkins trying to find Tommy but after ten minutes of driving around, you noticed he was now driving home. The whole ride was silent, but every once in a while you could feel Billy glancing at you. You didn’t know why and you didn’t bother to find out, you were too annoyed to talk to him. 

After a couple of minutes of driving, he stops in front of your house. You unbuckled your seatbelt, gathered all your purchased gifts, and opened the car door. 

“Thanks for the ride, goodnight.” You said while not bothering to look at Billy, but before you could close the door, Billy speaks up.

“Is that all you’re going to say? That’s it?” 

“What else do you want me to say?” You replied passively, finally looking at him in the eye. 

“Are we not going to talk about- You know what? Whatever, goodnight.” 

   You closed the door and walked towards your front door, you felt bad for leaving things the way they were with Billy, but you were too upset and too prideful to tell him that you may have overreacted a little. Before stepping inside you watched Billy as he backed up out of your driveway and drive to his house which was next door. He looked upset and you felt even worse than before. He sees you looking at him, making you quickly go inside your house. 

“Hey honey, how was shopping? Did you get everything?” Your dad greeted you with a warm smile as you stepped inside, he was helping your mom make dinner.

“We’re so sorry to make you have to go get all that for us, we just couldn’t get a day off today.” Your mom said while giving you a sympathetic look. You watched as she put a tray of asparagus inside the oven to bake. 

“It’s fine, it wasn’t a lot,” You replied while setting the bags full of gifts on the floor, “I’m going to head upstairs, night.” 

“You’re not going to eat dinner? Is everything okay?” Your dad asked, his voice filled with concern but you sped up the stairs and didn’t bother to reply. 

You kicked off your shoes and tossed yourself into bed. You groaned in frustration, regretting the fact that you didn’t apologize and talk to Billy about things. You stared at your ceiling, your mind running a hundred miles per hour. Then, you finally fell asleep after staring for god knows how long.

---

You woke up to the sound of what it sounds to be like rocks hitting your window. You rubbed your eyes trying to get rid of the tiredness and stretched. You got up from your bed and looked out your window squinting to see who’s outside. When your eyes finally focused you see Billy standing on the snowy pavement grinning at the sight of you.

“What light through whatever window breaks! It is the west? East? And you’re the moon!” Billy slurred, giving you a drunk and awfully terrible rendition of Romeo and Juliet, clouds of vapor escaped his mouth as he spoke. You bite back a laugh and wondered how he knows Shakespeare even though he repulsed reading. 

“What the hell are you doing? And stop yelling it’s 1 a.m, you’re going to wake up the entire block idiot.” 

“So I went to a party, drank a little, but it got boring and you kept popping up in my head so I was like ‘Hey Billy since Y/N’s bothering you why don’t you bother her?’ and now I’m here! Also it’s cold Y/N, winter’s a bitch.” Billy said as he rubbed the sleeves of his jacket trying to warm himself. You blushed at his comment, even at his drunken state he still thought of you. 

“Shut up and hold still, I’m coming downstairs to let you in but you have to be quiet. You understand?” You said as you put on your jacket that was laying on your desk. 

“Okay I’ll be quiet I promise. Hurry please I’m reallllyyyy cold.” Billy mumbled as he sat down on the snow covered sidewalk to wait for you.

You tiptoed out of your bedroom, trying not to wake your parents. Then, you rushed down the stairs and opened the front door to go outside. 

“Y/N you came! I’m so glad you could be here! What a pleasant surprise!” Billy said as he struggled to get up from the sidewalk. You rolled your eyes and walked to him to help him up.

“You’re an idiot, Billy Hargrove. Do you know that?” 

“You’ve said that twice, but thanks for reminding me, sweetheart.” Billy gave you a lopsided smile as you grabbed his arm and pulled to help him stand. You then swung his arm on your shoulder and walked him inside your house. It was a struggle to bring Billy up the stairs to your room but you managed. Once you successfully reached your room, Billy kicked off his shoes and wasted no time to belly flop onto your bed.

“Make room for me dickhead, this is my bed.” You giggles softly as you tried to push him towards the wall. You hopped into bed and into the covers to try and warm yourself from the cold, you spread your thick comforter and covered Billy too so he could be warm. 

“I’m warm now, thanks babe.” Billy whispered while giving you a wink, which made you giggle at how dumb he’s acting. He scoots closer to you and stared into your eyes, a sweet smile was plastered on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You whispered softly so only he can hear and you tucked a loose strand of hair that was covering his eye behind his ear. 

“Nothing, I just love you.” Billy smiles, his eyes twinkling. He then reached over to caress your face, “but shhh, don’t tell anyone okay? It’s a secret, I have a reputation that I have to take care of.” Billy spoke in a hushed tone while he places his index finger on your lips to silence your already silent mouth. Your heart became heavy with sadness knowing that he probably doesn’t mean it and that he’ll forget about what he said first thing in the morning. For weeks you’ve struggled to avoid your feelings for Billy but now that he’d said what he said, everything that you’ve tried to avoid feeling came pouring out. You run your hand through his curls as a tear escaped your eye, you tried to wipe it away but Billy already noticed. His brows furrowed at the sight of you crying.

“Oh no why are you crying princess? Who should I fight? I’m ready to fight.” Billy said as he pulls you toward him for a hug. His arm rubs your back as he tries to soothe your crying. 

“I’m just sad because you’ve got too much to drink and you won’t remember what you just said tomorrow morning.” You said as you snuggled closer to him, taking in his scent. More tears fell from your eyes. 

“If that’s why you’re sad then I’m going to remember what I said. I’m smart Y/N, I got this. I won’t let you down. Also, I’m not drunk! That’s bullshit.” Billy slurred as he plants a kiss on your forehead making you cry even more. 

“You make it so easy to fall in love with you, I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks and you’ve already got me crying for you,” Three words were on your mind, three words that are dying to come out. Now, those same three words were finally leaving your mind after dodging it for the past few weeks, refusing to feel the emotions that were connected to it, “I love you, Billy Hargrove and it sucks because you won’t ever feel the same. You’re just drunk and saying things you don’t mean.” You confessed to him while softly sobbing into his jean jacket, you’ve finally let out all the pent up emotions that you’ve been struggling to ignore for the past few weeks. All those weeks of suppressing your emotions were all for nothing because now you’ve finally admitted everything. Now that you’ve said it, it was now real and concrete. There was no turning back.

“Shhh Y/N, don’t cry you’re too pretty to cry! Don’t cry my darling...” Billy said softly while he kissed your head. After a couple of seconds he began to softly snore which led you to believe that he fell asleep, leaving you to deal with your sadness by yourself. You sniffed and wiped your tears with your hand. You snuggled closer to him, taking in the moment knowing that he’ll be gone in the morning and there’ll be no one left for you to hold.

---

If you want to be tagged lmk :o)

Tag list: @qtmeryr 

[twilightttv-a]

Dumb bullshit I’ve heard / said sentence starters pt 1

Why are you such a picky cannibal?

He sounds like he’s coughing up a child

WE DIE

Here take back your heart

We are so advanced that we put people on the Moon 50-60 years ago and we’re eating tide pods

My mom kicked me out because I wouldn’t change my socks

I am in the zone of NOPE

Nah I haven’t played dnd but I used to play Pokémon

I have to cut my thumbs off now. It’s a law

Do you think if I hit on a ghost I’ll score?

You’ll get fucked, but not how you want

It’ll eat your ass, then your soul

You’ll wake up dead

Listen If I ever go to a religious school just know…it’s not me. They replaced me with a clone.

Sick tat brah

Mexican macaroni burglar!

$1000 I dunno..how much is your grandma worth?

He’ll fist you for your soul

I’ll suck your tits for those damn Cheetos

Are you recruiting people into your singing cult?

Dying is manly

He’s a bi icon or, bicon if you will

Daddy-desu

Why the fuck is our species still alive

IS THAT MUSTARD ILL FUCKING HANG MYSELF

mmmmmm mustard peperony pizzaaaa

That’s a fucking low amount of money for such an Erdrich horror

PARENTS ARE A MYTH

Wow you sure aren’t afraid to make me bleed

Shit- my blood water

Unless your vagina is HAUNTED I KNOW YOU’RE TEXTING

YOUR BOOBS DONT HAVE GENDERS

 I can’t believe you’ve said this you evil toaster

You don’t just go up to people and shove your finger in their asshole!

 I can’t…eat your dick this is Instagram

 I BWAME YOU FOR THE HEWWO

Not my jesus

 You’re not Chaotic neutral you’re Chaotic AWFUL

 Did you just assume my religion?

 Is he gonna be good Superman or…dead evil Superman

 HA YOU CANT KILL ME IM UNKILLABLE- oh shit

 Guys I’ve come prepared I got tiDDIE NOTECARDS

 It’s the three bears of bad baking

He would be sentenced to murder

You’ve never had a macaroon and I’ve never seen fight club. I think we’re pretty even on the disappointment levels

 Fucking Americans. Always gendering shit

 Butter my nipples

 Don’t touch me with your CHEESE

They think they’re figured out but they aren’t. They’re just stupid.

 Cock ring? Classy

[mikeshanlon]

fwb eldonado au?

okay so first of all do urself a favor and read @petemaldonado and @theonewherelaurynhasablog‘s fwb au  bc it’s iconic. seriously i think ‘it's kiss your homie hours peter c'mon’ is possibly one of, if not the most, iconic lines ever written. f scott fitzgerald could NEVER. charles dickens is crying on the floor. shakespeare was resurrected just to read that line and the died immediately after reading it bc he knew he could never write anything so poetic. 

anyways there’s a lot of different routes you could go with this, though most essential is dumbass peter and sam bc they’re fucking emotionally/romantically inept...... tonight im feeling an au where sam and peter start lowkey hooking up when they’re up in bellevue filming s2 bc it’s kinda like... well we’re in this new place so things Feel Different (as in like yeah its real but its not gonna Affect Real Life bc it’s not home and they think that bc they are fucking dumb), other than working on the case theres not much to do, and the whole like they’re roommates living in the same guest house mostly alone except for ming (which i’ll get to)

so we all know ming is a party fucking LEGENDDDDDDD and he probably has a fake to get alcohol even though he’s underage (sorry we’re not in canada legend :(). and so one night he brings out some bottles and he’s like lets unwind this is already stressful af! and they probably invite chloe over but she might not stay long bc she like. actually has to go to class and stuff, but they all kinda bond. eventually sam and peter drift off into sam’s room and they’re just kinda drunk bantering and peter is currently at like Cuddly Drunk stage and they’re a lil too close and then whoops peter kisses sam and they end up like Making Out and then passing out bc they’re really drunk and tired

they sort of pretend it didnt happen, or that it didnt really Mean anything but then they like ..... keep accidentally brushing hands and being entirely too affectionate as they’re walking around st bernadines, and then they kiss again during a movie night and its like. well woops we’re doing this! and they just sort of continue it when they have a spare moment

back to ming i actually wanna do a lil oneshot incorporating this concept bc i think its so fucking funny but. ming being so over their bullshit. like yeah he loves them but they’re SO obvious but keep denying it and mings like i can literally hear u guys my room is across the hall. them flirting as they set up cameras and mings like can we please just get some work done..... im just here to make a doc and spend time with my friends................ please............ same goes for chloe but shes not around as much so ming really gets the worst of it

if we wanna do angst which im me so we do, they’re still continuing their fwb once they get back to oceanside but sams like okay i want to be able to do like. Couple things (bc they were starting to turn into that before they left bellevue and it was nice to just like hold peters hand when they popped over to dawsey’s for groceries and stuff). but peters like woah uhhhhhhhh i thot we agreed to keep it casual (bc peter is like. afraid to label things and Voice Love bc he’s afraid he’ll lose it). and they get into a huge fight but.... idk they get their shit together somehow lmao erglknerglnerg

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

[likepuppetsonastring]

Deal. (A JSE Ego Drabble)

(A/N: I have zero idea what the actual plot is here, I just wanted to write something dramatic with all of the Septiceye gang. So enjoy some horror nonesense!)

"Hell is empty, and all the devils are here!" -William Shakespeare, The Tempest

It was far too quiet. Chase was as white as a sheet. He'd been against the idea from the start, the only one among them other than Jack who had a family to get back to, and he didn't want to do anything else to put them at risk. He wrung his hands around his Nerf gun, staring at the door into the recording room from his slumped spot on the floor across the hall. A few yards from him, sitting at the top of the stairs, holding one knee and dangling the other over the top steps, was Jackieboy Man. Jackie was uncomfortable, fidgeting with Sam, throwing them into the air and catching them again. Luckily the eye didn't seem to oppose this. Schneep was pacing, muttering under his breath and checking his supplies every few seconds. No one had to ask why he was so nervous. Dapper and Shawn were leaning against the sides of the door, acting as guards, potentially. Dapper seemed to be the only one not uncomfortable with the reletive silence, but even he was showing signs of distress, mustache twitching every few seconds.

"How long've they been in there?" Schneep shrugged, but it was Jackie who answered. "About twenty minutes." "How much longer does he need?" "He told us he'd knock when he was ready." "Well, what if he's-?!" "Don't, Chase." Schneep's voice was unusually devoid of bravado. "I do not need to hear zat idea. I do not need to hear zat right now." Chase glared at him. "Well someone needs to think about this. If Jack can't do it-" "Chase-" "I'm not gonna back down from this! I've got kids to worry about! If that thing gets lose, if it comes after them like it came after you, I'm not havin' it! I'll kill 'im!" "But...but Chase, you can't..." Jackie trailed off, knowing full well Chase meant what he said, and that he had every right to. Dapper reached over and patted Chase's shoulder, but he jerked away from the touch, making Dap sigh as he stood back up, pulling his pocketwatch out and frowning at it, thinking what all of them were thinking. If it came to that, there was no chance for Robbie, anyway.

Jack hadn't liked the idea, either, and if he was being honest with himself, it scared the hell out of him. But he didn't see any other option. If it was him, he couldn't talk to him, he'd have no control. And Rob had volunteered, as awkwardly and as long as it had taken. "If...me, you c'n...talk. Make him...under...stand." "But he could-" "Could what? Kill...me?" Jack had had to smile at that. It was true, it'd be hard to kill a zombie.

He wasn't sure how it'd worked. A little cut with the knife, a twitch of the eye, a glitch, and Rob grabbing his arm. And now he was watching Anti frown in confusion as he stared at what he generally considered to be himself. "What is this?" It was odd hearing a full sentance come out of Rob's mouth, especially in that voice. "What a-am I? What have you d-done?" His voice seemed to be getting more stable, which seemed to unsettle him further. "Relax. You can stay for as long as it takes to do this." "What have you done?" he repeated, scowling as he looked down at his grey hands and striped shirt, picked up a piece of the purple fringe over his eyes. "Why are you still here?" "Robbie lent us his...services." "He...let me do this?" His eyes narrowed and he grinned suddenly. "You think you can reason with me, don't you? That's why you let him do this." "That's what I hoped, yeah," Jack nodded, leaning against the wall, hoping he looked casual. "Easier to talk with a willin' host?" "So much easier. Fits like a glove." He reached for the knife in Jack's hand, but it was jerked out of his reach. That was when Anti realized he was tied down, to a newly installed ring in the wall. He giggled. "You're funny, Jack. You think you can stop me." "No, not stop. Just...come to an agreement. And we're not total idiots." "Well, in that case," Anti spread his arms wide, grinning insanely. "I'm all ears." "Good." Jack paused. Where to start? What to say? If the others knew what he was planning... "First off, you're not allowed to hurt them. Any of them. Schneep, Chase, Jackie, you leave them alone. And Chase's kids. You're not allowed to hurt anyone." "I'm not allowed?" He laughed again. "How would you stop me?" "How have I always stopped you? You'll always be their villain, Anti, you don't scare me anymore. You can't do anything I don't want you to." "Bullshit." He twitched. "I spent an entire month doing things you didn't want." His tone was mocking, and it made Jack jump at the next shriek. "THEY LOVE ME! THEY LET IT HAPPEN! OVER AND OVER!" "Enough of your stupid catchphrases! Jesus, do you ever shut up? Are you gonna let me finish or not?" He was proud that his voice didn't shake. Anti gestured condescendingly for him to continue. Jack looked at the ground for the next part. "You can't let Signe know what's happening. You can never be in Brighton, nowhere near my family or my friends. I'll go somewhere else, I'll tell Signe I'm visiting someone. Pj said he'd help with that part." Anti seemed to be getting it now. "You're seriously doing this? Do they know what you're doing?" He jerked his head at the door, and the sound it made would've been worrying if his host had been a living person. He thumped his chest. "Does he know what you're doing? Maybe we have more in common that I thought!" "We have nothing in common," Jack said shortly. "You're the one making a deal with the devil," he smirked. "Last thing," Jack persisted. "No one knows it's real, and you're gonna keep it that way. You get one day a year, and little appearances when I give the okay." "So exactly what I've been doing since I got here? But you won't fight me." "And you don't get to hurt anyone." "Jack...I like how you think." His skin crawled as Anti smiled at him. For a second it was as if he was looking at himself, the purple and stripes replaced with flashes of green and black. He steeled himself. "Have we got a deal?" Anti nodded, laughing again. Jack extended his hand, the one not holding the knife. "Then okay. I'll let you in."

Chase jumped to his feet at the same time that Dap and Shawn jumped back from the door, and Jackie's and Schneep's heads whipped around. A knock. Dap was closest to the handle, he turned it and the five of them nearly fell into the room in their rush to get inside. All of them were looking frantically between the two figures, desperate to make sure they were alright. Rob looked shaken, but alright, if, if it was possible, a little paler than usual. Jack looked just the same as he had, a small, sheepish smile on his face. "Hey guys." "By Jesus, Jack, you can't be doin' that to us again!" Shawn yelled angrily. Dap had to be held back from slapping him, pointing aggressively at his watch. "It took longer than I thought, I know, I'm sorry," Jack mumbled, not meeting any of their eyes. Chase frowned. "Jack, dude, you okay? What'd he do?" "He...he agreed. He's not going to hurt anyone." "How?" Schneep demanded, "How did you get him to agree to zis? Vhat haff you done, Sean?" Jack jumped a little at the doctor's use of his real name. None of the egos ever called him that, Schneep must have been royally pissed. But he wasn't suspicious in the way that Chase was. "Nothing! Nothing! We just...talked." "About what?" "It's none of your-" "Of course it's our fucking business," Chase growled, more serious than anyone had seen him since the divorce. "I have kids, Jack. I need to know they'll be safe." Jack looked at him for a long moment, long enough to scare him. And then he looked at the ground and wouldn't look back up. "I promise, Chase. I promise your kids are safe." "That's not-" He stopped himself, took a breath. "Jack...tell me you didn't do anything stupid.” Jack smiled shakily, looking up to finally meet Chase’s eyes. "Aren't I always doing something stupid?"

Chase didn't answer, and he didn't laugh in relief like all the others did. He was the only one who'd seen it, and Jack knew it. That flash of green in his eyes? That was going to haunt him.

What've you done, Jack?

[cometcrystal]

list of all the books/short stories i remember reading in high school and my opinion on them. this isn’t all of them because theres no way i could possibly remember everything. it also includes summer reading

smash that J key if you dont wanna see me ramble about books

9th grade

to kill a mockingbird - i don’t remember anything about this book. i read it twice because our english teacher didnt test us on summer reading until october and i STILL don’t remember anything about it and i dont get why people like it so much

the house on mango street - one of my absolute favorite books i have ever been assigned. i adore the way the book is structured, i loved the author’s writing style, i loved all the little stories, i loved everything about it. but everyone else in my class hated it and it made me sad

the pearl - it was ok? i didnt really have an opinion on it it was just there

romeo and juliet - it’s romeo and juliet. but it did give me the memory of seeing my english teacher bite his thumb

the most dangerous game - this short story was fun to me, i liked it. also i imagined the guys in the house as hagrid and francis monogram. its been a while i cant remember the guys actual names leave me alone

rules of the game - i remember liking this one too, i liked most of the short stories we read

gift of the magi - FAV!!! THE BEST AND CUTEST! 

10th grade

the first part last - part of summer reading. i remember liking this one but it didn’t really stick with me. i probably wouldn’t read it again just cause its about teenage pregnancy

book about ww2 germany that i forgot the name of - also summer reading. it was about what youd expect; historical fiction that is sad. it was OK

animal farm - it went about as you’d expect it to

of mice and men - i didn’t hate it? it was really short and was over quickly so it was hard for me to have strong feelings

the great gatsby - everyone in the world read this book. it was OK at best but none of the characters were likable and there is absolutely no plot but its good for teaching symbolism so thats why its so popular in schools

huckleberry finn - godawful i never want to read this again it was so so boring and hard to read oh my fucking GOD. this book is a prime example of why you should never type accents phonetically. 

anthem - i liked it at the time, but knowing ayn rand’s worldview now i probably would not like it at all if i reread it today

approximately 1/4 of shakespeare’s julius caeser - we didnt get very far into this play at all. i have a vivid memory of a guy in class saying the line “you saucy fellow” and the whole class laughing. 2/5 stars for that

11th grade

in cold blood - i liked the parts about the townsfolk, dreaded the parts about the killers. it was really slow though

the glass castle - this was another favorite of mine, the episodic format reminded me of mango street and i just. idk i liked it a lot

a modest proposal - my teacher this year was my favorite teacher i’ve ever had and she brought baby back ribs from the vending machine for us when we read this text because she was hilarious

hamlet - my teacher did a bullet-speed reading of this because she wanted to expose us to more shakespeare but the year was almost over. i liked it tbh but i feel like i need to experience it again a bit slower this time

12th grade

wuthering heights - you do not understand the depth of my hatred for this book. you could not possibly understand the loathing i felt as i had to annotate this entire text and deal with this bitch ass insufferable cast of characters. the only good character was isabella and they killed her because they knew she was too good for this book.

the road - oh my fucking god if the color gray was a book, it would be this one. it was so depressing and i hated every word of it. the summer reading this year was ASS

things fall apart - this was a good book, i dont have much smart to say review-wise but it was good and i think it should be more widely taught, depicts the atrocities of colonialism

their eyes were watching god - another favorite of mine, i had to reread it recent for my college lit class and i loved it just as much the 2nd time around

brave new world - stupid pretentious bullshit, probably in line with anthem. racist pretentious bullshit and it annoyed the hell out of me. ended with an orgy. im not joking it ended with an orgy

the awakening - everyone else hated this book to high heaven but i liked it? i mean it wasnt super duper awesome but it was enjoyable

jane eyre - charlotte bronte is such a better fucking writer than her damn sister emily? i love you, jane eyre

macbeth - my favorite shakespeare play ive ever been assigned. lady macbeth is wild? love that messy bitch. no man of woman born? fucking genius. ALSO until 11th grade i thought this play was set in space and not scotland because of that one jimmy neutron episode

the importance of being earnest - i dont remember anything about this play other than it was funny but i DO remember my friend finding a phone number in her copy of it and she texted it

the metamorphosis - i read this for my final class project so that means i read it at least 7 times. i know this cockroach man like the back of my hand. i do not have an opinion about the actual story itself but i know about this cockroach.

the thirteenth tale - OH MY GOD. FAV. FAV. FAV FOREVER. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD READ THIS BOOK. literally EVERYONE in our class got sucked into this book, even the people that hated everything else we had read up to this point. its literally so good i dont even know what to say just read it

[lizzieraindrops]

the morning after

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops​

all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post.

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

anthony, waking up in the morning: “helen where are my ass pants”

helen: “your WHAT”

anthony: “y’know my ass pants what'd you do with them”

anthony says ‘ass’ like he can’t believe that’s what he’s saying

helen:

helen:

helen: “dearest”

helen: “do you mean shorts”

anthony: “what? no the ones you like my ass in”

helen: “thank go-”

sally, who at some point in the night relocated herself to the couch: “GROSS”

helen: “-d i thought you were so hungover”

anthony: “y’know, they're that type, y’know the small pants?”

helen:

helen:

helen: “goddamnit”

anthony: “the ass small pants”

sally: “OH THE UGLY SMALL PANTS”

helen: “god help us”

jack, yelling, "ROBERTS! WHAT THE FUCK, YOU WERE HERE LAST NIGHT. WHERE ARE YOU" he looks around, bridget's gone too, "god help us"

jack: “HELP I’M SO ALONE”

deep voice: “hey”

jack: screams

deep voice: “dude it’s penny i’m just hungover”

with her accent, she really sounds like a sad cowboy from an old western

jack: “oh thank god i thought i was about to die from some sad cowboy”

penny: nods somberly and hands him tylenol

june halfheartedly tosses pillows back where they go

she finds a socket wrench with heart stickers on it

june: “fucking geeks”

esther and bridget, looking severely crumpled ("did you sleep in a closet?" "fuck you im outta the closet") reappear and make more pancakes

june, who is used to taming her own poofy hair and despite herself, wants to help them, eventually drags them into the bathroom and fixes their hair  

she even does a little bit of makeup on them

sighing and shaking her head disappointedly the whole time

helen fell back asleep and no one wants to be the one to wake her up

they draw straws but they forgot to make one of the straws shorter

so no one does it

finally penny sits down next to helen and pokes her cheek

helen’s eyes fly open and she starts laughing

“you really drew straws for me?”

“ohh boy”

sally makes everyone scrambled eggs

they’re like, literally turning brown

“sally wtf these are all burnt, can’t you cook”

“what are you talking about, i Like them that way, they're perfect AND you're safe from salmonella”

june makes another batch, angrily

“waste of goddamn perfectly fine eggs i swear to god” “junebug” “quinto, i’m fine"

sally then attempts to eat all the burnt ones herself but she is Too Smol

jack and anthony help her

“hey,” esther says, lifting her gaze over a stack of pancakes far bigger than she is, “sally grissom talks in her sleeEeEEeEP”

lots more under the readmore!

“i do NOT”

“yeah you do, you were talking about the fucking periodic table, you nerd”

“i was AWAKE for that part”

“oh my god, you were doing that intentionally? that was, a conscious decision. that you made.”

“you weren't even here half the night, how would you know” jack throws in

esther starts blushing and bridget leans over and kisses her cheek

“wyyaaattt,” sally chastises him

she uses her own fork to scoop up more burnt eggs and shoves them at jack’s face

“sally could you not stab me in the face with your salmonella-free fork”

quentin leans forward, rests his elbows on the counter. “we need to start asking the real questions.”

“what's that q?” anthony asking with his mouth full

“who the hell was eating popcorn last night!?”

everyone, at the same time: “not me!”

quentin, softly, “what the fuck”

jack: “hey i have a question.”

esther, from behind her pancakes “shut up jack”

he holds his hand to his heart: “how many lips doth mine lips hath touched”

bridget: “that’s not even like….was that supposed to be shakespeare?”

“‘no! god, i’m like, making shit up dreyfuss what do you want"

she just slightly lifts her eyebrows and turns away

“wait seriously though how many people did i kiss"

helen, from somewhere: “definitely anthony-”

anthony: “yeah my neck is killing me thanks buddy”

penny: “-i don’t know but i have never seen a high five as extra as that one you gave sally”

they promptly reenact the high five, to everyone's hungover expense

“UP HIGH JACK, WOOO YEAHHH”

everyone winces as their hands SMACK

including them

the force of it almost knocks sally into esther’s pancake pile

jack makes two seconds of awkward eye contact with quentin and then Averts

quentin actually blushes a little bit

he quickly spears some of the burnt eggs and promptly chokes on them

somewhere down the line: “that was weird right?” “right, let’s never ever mention it” “right”

(and no one ever talks about that kiss, but there is one ESTHERception)

(esther and jack are like, hanging out at his house playing a videogame or something)

(“hey jack! remember when you kissed quentin! that was pretty great”)

(he smacks her with the controller)

(“soft” she whispers, laughing)

(he smacks her again, a little harder)

"hey guys" "yeah" "what day is it" "tues-FUCK"

"fFUCK"

“THE FAIR” “the SCIENCE FAIR”

“EVERYONE GET IN THE VAN”

everyone who’s competing, bridget, and penny, all pile in and esther realizes she forgot her rings

she runs back inside and june and helen are making out

“nice, uh, nice hair, june,” she laughs, and runs back out to the van

“WAIT.” anthony at the wheel, slams his hands against it. “HELEN SAID SHE WAS COMING. FOR MORAL SUPPORT.”

he jumps out of the car before esther can warn him and she just starts laughing again

he comes back shaking his head

june and helen, holding hands, follow him and climb over everyone to get in the back

THE WORLD'S MOST CROWDED WOODIE VAN RIDE LATER

THE WORLD'S MOST DISHEVELED PRESENTATION

SOMEHOW GOES OFF WITHOUT A HITCH

okay well. there is one hitch. a slight hitch.

anthony’s… ‘small ass pants’ are still missing

so he had to borrow a pair of leggings from june

they have poppies on them and he looks very cute but he's very disappointed about the ass pants

so anthony’s part of the presentation is given in flowery leggings, with a massive hickey and a split lip, and all this while WILDLY hungover

he's. he's a sight.

THEY STILL DO GREAT

bridget and helen clap and cheer for them when they finish presenting

penny hollers like she’s at a baseball game

june whistles at anthony and compliments his leggings, which are. her leggings

but their project still loses to a volcano called trinity peak with illegal firecrackers inside it due to studENT BODY POLITICS

everyone agrees it’s bullshit and they all go to the chuck e. cheese’s for sober pizza

chet recoils when he sees them

anthony winks saucily

june’s parents get home the next day, and they ask her if she partied

“no i had 8 people over tho, we cuddled”

“why is there a cell phone in the pool”

“why are the neighbors complaining about a rotten potato”

“why is there a pair of shorts in the garbage disposal?”

“they’re quentin’s???”

“they say ‘this ass property of H.’ on the tag”

“oh god”

(june also owns at least one pair of pants that say this on the tag. she does not feel it’s relevant to mention that to her parents)

[ase-trollplays]

-- tapeFace [TF] began pestering liberatedRaptor [LR] --

-- tapeFace [TF] began pestering liberatedRaptor [LR] -- -- tapeFace [TF]  violently kicks open your door -- TF: WYNTER HOLY SHIT (┛◉Д◉)┛ LR: CACOPH HOLY SHIT TF: I DID SOMETHING AMAZING LR: t e l l m e TF: I SASSED THE HELL OUT OF A SEADWELLER AND COMPLETELY SHUT HIM DOWN (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ TF: Or, shut THEM down LR: HELL YEAH TF: I don't know if they're just a really feminine guy or nonbinary. LR: oh yes lets be conscious of pronouns and whatnot even if theyre a jerk LR: but you gotta gimme the DEETS TF: Hell yeah I do (⌐■_■) TF: Okay, so you know how sometimes people will just be like "Let me tell you my opinion of you" LR: i think thats a highblood thing TF: I've seen a couple of lowbloods do it. I mostly volunteer because I love the look of confusion and horror when people try to process how ridiculous I look ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ LR: such a powerful soul TF: Well, That seadweller did that, and he was as rude as I expected TF: Tonight, I decided to do the opinion thing, and he volunteered himself. TF: Dammit I did the pronoun thing TF: oops TF: Anyways, they volunteered and I thought it would be funny to lowkey roast them because they seemed pretty shallow TF: And OH MAN THEY DID NOT LET IT GO (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ They looked so stunned and offended that I didn't blindly shower them with compliments LR: b r o TF: They started some nonsense about how I ~CLEARLY~ my opinion is just bullshit and I should be 『✧~*SO VERY GRATEFUL*~✧』 they humored me at all TF: And, as expected, they took a shot at my appearance because I literally open myself up to that TF: So I called them out on telling me how garbage and worthless my opinion is despite VERY OBVIOUSLY BEING UPSET ABOUT IT TF: And complimented them on how their face - At some point they got in a fight and got beat /bad/ - now matches their personality TF: They fire back AGAIN telling me how dumb I look as if I don't hear that all the time, and how they're ~*~such a pleasant good person~*~ any other time TF: Finally, I was just like TF: "Look my dude, I know how awful you must feel being the second-highest caste and dealing with lowbloods that don't blindly accept your crap. (″･ิ_･ิ)っIt's hard dealing with the consequences of being a vain asshole" TF: And played them a sad song on the ukulele and even pretended to shed a tear TF: AND THEY HAD NOTHING LEFT (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ THEY JUST GOT PISSED AND STORMED OFF LR: im... so proud... oh my god... TF: I mean, what I actually said was way more awesome than what I typed, but believe me TF: It was amazing ಥ⌣ಥ LR: dont ever forget this oh my god LR: i wish i couldve been there TF: I wish you could've been there, too TF: I wish EVERYONE could have been there!! TF: And the best part is that other people that were just around and heard everything were giving me SO MANY PROPS LR: I BET THAT DUMBASS FISH FELT SO HUMILIATED TF: This night is getting marked on my calendar for ever ಥ⌣ಥ TF: HELL YEAH THEY DID TF: I'm honestly super glad it turned out so well. You hear so many stories about lowbloods doing what I just did and getting reduced to a smear on the ground (⊙﹏⊙✿) TF: I'm gonna have to look over my shoulder watching for hitmen probably LR: oh shit yeah dawg LR: whoops LR: although im guessing that they werent very physically imposing to begin with so TF: Nah. They were a stick like me TF: Though honestly, even I do get hitmen springing for me from the shadows, all I have to do is yodel and their heads will explode TF: I would really rather NOT do that (⊙﹏⊙✿) LR: FUCKING YODEL LR: im dyin LR: RIPme TF: THE MOST DEVASTATING YODELING LR: lethal yodeling.......................... TF: Or any noise, really. I've given people tinnitus from whispering before TF: I'm a dangerous man, Wynter. (≖︿≖✿) TF: A dangerous man with a mohawk and a mullet who cries when he steps on a ladybug LR: mullethawk LR: hey ladybugs are awesome LR: id cry too TF: OHHH, THE HORRIBLE GUILT ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡ LR: RIP ladybug TF: Never Forget o(；﹏；)o LR: RIP IN SPAGHETTI NEVER FORGETTI TF: OR ELSE IT WILL BE YOUR WORST REGRETTI TF: So, how's your night been? You make it back hive and seen your friends and quadmates? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ LR: im hiding out at a friend's place LR: im afraid of the wrath of my mate LR: shes gonna eat my face LR: my entire face LR: which sucks because it's a good face TF: Nooo, not your beautiful face! ( ﾟдﾟ) LR: YES my beautiful face -- tapeFace [TF]  faints dramatically, draping my body across the nearest piece of furniture -- LR: that would be the WORST POSSIBLE THING LR: then she'll be all like "Wynter i dont love you anymore because youre missing your face" LR: and ill be like "thats fair..................." TF: Truly a tragedy worthy of troll Shakespeare LR: someone write a book about my oncoming breakup TF: I will record your tragedy and pass it on from generation to generation so your tale will never be forgotten. ∩(︶▽︶)∩ LR: the world needs more folks like you bro TF: (;ω;✿) Aww, thanks man LR: shit LR: im LR: going LR: to LR: see LR: my LR: mate LR: heres hoping she doesnt eat my entire soul TF: GOOD LUCK!! TF: I'M ROOTING FOR YOU LR: i got LR: so yelled at LR: and she cried a lot LR: and basically im an ass LR: but she didnt break up with me :D TF: That's great! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ TF: Not so much the yelling and crying and feeling awful (ﾉ◕﹏◕)ﾉ TF: But she's still willing to give you another chance, which is awesome! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ LR: but do i deserve it :v TF: Well, yeah, you really do. (◡︿◡✿) Vanishing for who knows how long without telling her anything is No Bueno TF: But yelling and sad feelings still suck LR: im pretty glad i just get to live the rest of my life working in a bakery LR: (until she fires my sorry ass) TF: I'm sure she won't. I doubt she's spiteful enough to give you another chance then fire you from her bakery. TF: Granted, I don't know her or anything about her, but I'm sure she wouldn't do that. LR: well theres always the chance of me fuckin up again TF: I doubt you'll fuck up nearly bad enough to get fired compared to how bad you fucked up this time. TF: Give yourself a little credit (◕ω◕✿) LR: compared to how badly i fucked up this time LR: ur so SMRAT LR: im too cool to fire LR: (plus im damn good at baking) LR: (a bit of a liability with a knife tho) TF: (How so?) LR: (i dont feel pain so i have trouble being able to tell when ive cut myself) TF: (⊙︿⊙ That sounds incredibly inconvenient and dangerous) LR: (it is)

(((OOC: The chatlog had to end here because of interference by my five-year old niece requiring entertainment and supervision and everyone else in the house having already gone to bed.)))

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

uni feels blab post 2525

so, this semester has got me feeling some shit bc it’s my second last one, as i intend to finish my degree at the end of autumn session next year and graduate in july 2018, granted if i pass everything (fingers crossed!). 

let’s start on last saturday night, when i was organising my important documents. whilst doing this to avoid my assignments (two of which are due next week and i still haven’t bothered to start lmao); i found my uni acceptance letter that i received in 2014 to say that i had spot in the bachelor of communication and media studies (BCMS) at uow. obvs, i transferred out of the course bc i felt at the time i felt like i didn’t fit into it... and i still feel that way when i’ve debated with myself whether i should go into a double degree with it or not (and fyi, the answer is a resounding NO on that one). 

but the point is that i just can’t believe how far i’ve come from then, let alone the end of high school. like, at the end of high school in 2013, i wasapproaching my higher school certificate/HSC and i was incredibly depressed and anxious, so much so i didn’t believe that i could even get into uni to do philosophy or theatre or english literature etc etc etc. i also believed that every one i knew from both of the high schools i had gone to (st joeys and lake) as well as my tafe class; thought i was to brainless (insert other words that mean “dumb” or “stupid” here bc it’s late and  can’t bothered to think of any) to get anywhere the required mark to get into the course from school (an atar of 70). I was still like that in 2014 while i was attending business college for my advanced diploma... up until about june. this is where, after my tutor gave us a big talk about marks not mattering in the real world blah blah blah, that i picked myself off the floor and realised that my worth wasn’t based on my marks. i kinda threw myself into that course in 2014 to prove to myself that i could something with myself. and i did. i got into uni, lmao. (and pls mind that i know that i talk about this a lot, but its bc it means a lot to me lol)

of course, over my time at uni, i have had times where i feel like my success is wholly dependent on my marks, like my dad keeps telling me to do honours but my results don’t meet the requirements (i.e. to 75′s/distinctions in 300 level english subjects and a WAM of 75). i do qaulify for a new PG course my uni offering though to my wam range, a masters of research... but honestly, i couldn’t be fucked to carry on with study. i’ve done enough for now, in a way. and then all of the internships/grad programs i look at half a minimum req. of a credit average (a wam of 65), which is what i’ve basically got (67.5), so its good enough.

ANYWAY. back to this semester. i finally received my mark for my first essay of the term, one in kid’s lit. we had to close-read one paragraph in a 300 page book and write 1200 words on it. im pissed as fuck with my tutor/lecturer who told me to use the paragraph i chose bc it was a good one to use.... bc he said in the marking comment that it “didn’t really lend itself to close reading very well”.... and it’s like “then why the fuck did you say it was ok to use???” and “then what the fuck actually constituted as a good length paragraph to use???” 

bc i picked a load of para’s for him to look at and all he said was” “no, that’s too long... if you take half of it out it will lose its meaning in your essay, and there’s too much going on there. so, no, you can’t use it” (mind you, some of the ones that elicited this comment were like half a page long so maybe it was fair enough...) or “no that’s too short! you won’t get enough out of that!” so it was like “honestly, what the fuck man... what the actual fuck type of fucking paragraph from the book was i meant to fuckin use????” overall, though, i got 68 for my all nighter effort which is good enough for this complete bullshit assignment and good enough for being completely fucked around by my teacher. also, he marked me down for my MLA referencing at the end... which i got off my uni library’s website bc apparently it was wrong???? honestly im livid at this guy lmao. my professors in my philosophy and shakespeare subjects have finally got their shit together and posted the questions for our first essays for the term... one is due next week (philosophy) he gave us an extra week to do it (wahoo) after forgetting to post them... and my Shakespeare one is due on october 6th...  and my presentation of shakespeare is due ext thursday and i still haven’t bothered to research merchant of venice properly or even read it fully lmao, fuck.

anyways... overall this sem has been quite cruisy due to me picking to do most of my assignments right at the end and my profs mentioned above forgetting to post shit. i’ve also decided to downgrade my philosophy major to a minor to finish faster, thank christ.  but the one thing thats got me stressed now is finding jobs. i have a careers consultation next week and i still have no idea where i want to go... like my linkedin is sort of helping giving me editing/writing/publishing jobs to look at as well as events/marketing/communications and PR jobs to flick through. but ugh. its terrifying. and too bad that the entry level for most of them is at least 2-3 years experience in a similar role. i want to die. and thats my emotional mid-sem breakdown post completed. if you read it, i hope you enjoyed it lmao.