#hacker: this cannot stay

[wolfythewitch]

Hi chat my Twitter account got hacked and the only noticeable change is that they deleted my tweet about Moby Dick being racistly anti racist what does this mean

[snotgrl-02]

VPNs do not make you more secure

here's how they work!

first of all, most of your internet traffic is already encrypted via TLS (Transport Layer Security). Things that aren't encrypted are usually videogames or less important applications.

a VPN encrypts traffic between your computer and the VPN server you're using.

your Internet Service Provider (ISP) sits in the middle of that transaction.

cue the MS paint diagram

Without a VPN:

With a VPN:

the traffic between your VPN server and the rest of the internet is not encrypted any further.

things that VPNs are good for:

bypassing geo-blocking

bypassing website blocks set up by your ISP

obscuring network traffic from your ISP

things that VPNs are not good for:

browsing the internet without having your activity logged. every company that gives internet service logs the activity, it's half of how they make sure they're not being hacked.

hiding information from the government. VPN providers WILL bend to subpoenas, they WILL turn over logs of your network activity.

cybersecurity. VPNs can't save you once the traffic is between them and the final destination. they don't analyze your traffic to detect and stop hackers, they don't add any encryption where it matters.

VPNs are not a shortcut to security. you cannot pay 15 dollars a month to forgo all responsibility for your own digital privacy. do your research, use a password manager, stay safe.

my friends i hope you find this information useful. you have been sold a lie. remember to show extreme skepticism to youtube sponsorships and journalism websites which sing their praises.

sources: i have a certificate iv in cybersecurity

[2-dsimp]

Who would baby trap mc? Asking for science.

🤓

『Featuring Babytrapping with the Hitman Team』

——;——;————;———-

Cw: 🔞NSFW MDNI! Fem reader! Baby trapping,

——;——;————;———-

Would Babytrap you intentionally

——;——;————;———-

Bjorn the Strategist: As the strategist of the team it’d only be fitting for him to intentionally plan. On knocking you up to make sure you’ll forever be inclined to stay with him. But only after doing some intensive research about child rearing and pregnancy. So he’s able to provide you with everything you may need and ensure that both you and his child are safe and sound.

Yujin the hacker: he’d be upfront with you on his plans of knocking you up. With a childish grin on his face, the hacker will straight up tell you that he’s going to get you pregnant. So that he can finally get a tasteful of your breast milk. His openness would dupe you into thinking he was joking since Yujin’s always been a prankster at times. So really you can’t blame him if he did exceed in doing exactly as he told. since he made sure to give you a prior notice ahead of time.

——;——;————;———-

Would Babytrap you unintentionally

——;——;————;———-

Ossian the sniper: don’t get me wrong he loves you dearly. So much in fact that in his sleep. He’ll go as far as to make sure you feel how deep his love for you goes until you’re filled up like a cream puff. The funny part is that when you’re holding up a positive pregnancy test in Ossian’s face he’d think he was dreaming. And would promptly wish aloud that he’d never wake up. Since the dream of having a family with you would make him feel as if he’s floating on cloud nine.

Vincent the Enforcer: would be so wrapped up in how good you felt going in raw. That he’d completely forget to pull out, and would mutter apologies underneath his breath. Whilst continuing to bust his thick spurts of jizz inside your squelching cunt. Saying how he can’t help himself and promising with butterfly kisses. Against your neck that he’d be a good daddy and take care of both you and the baby.

Danny the boss: this otaku cannot cope with how turned on you make him feel on a daily basis. He’d be so desperate to have more of you, to get balls deep inside. That place he calls heaven in between those thighs of yours. To the point of where his fat tip would break through the condom and make him nut prematurely inside you. From instantly being exposed to your depths. After Seeing the positive pregnancy test, Danny would faint like a damsel in distress. Due to an extensive nosebleed at the mere vision he had of you having baby bump. His baby bump

——;——;————;———-

Wouldn’t try to Baby trap you.

——;——;————;———-

Moros the Torturer: would never try to baby trap his sunshine. He’d want to make sure of having kids is what you’d so desire. So if you want kids you’ll have to reassure Moros constantly that you’d want to have a family with him. Since he’d hate to do anything that would cause you any kind of harm or discomfort. He knows that pregnancy can affect you long term and is well versed in the risks. So he’d never put your wellbeing in jeopardy despite how he truly yearns for a big family.

Koji the medic: is meticulous when it comes to sex, he’ll make sure that no happy accidents. will happen under his watch since he doesn’t particularly like to idea of having kids. Nor does he plan to entertain the idea of losing his dearest nurse to birthing a parasite. If push comes to shove he’ll definitely choose to toss the whole kid away than to ever risk lose his darling.

[fancyfeathers]

I'm just imagining the incredible, awesome epic fights there could be between the gang and the Injustice universe (and ofc, the yandereism because their parents now refuse to let their kids go, specially since some are dead in their universe). Like, Supergirl squaring up against her evil dad, Huntian fighting against a version of the woman who taught him everything, Blue Lantern suddenly remembering what she learnt from Saint Walker and recovering her hope to fight off the Yellow Lantern Hal and beating him. Songbird having to deal with Robin and beating his ass (please it would be therapeutic for her)

This can go two ways: They're now trapped there because people like Black Canary are too traumatised to lost her son again, despite knowing that Apollo it's not really hers...or them suddenly showing up in the original universe and meeting their Darlings, trying to replace the versions of themselves from that world to stay.

Burn It All Down

Injustice AU

Oh my god, that one scene with Kara and Clark in the second Injustice game, she is so betrayed and horrified that when she sees the truth of what is happening in this world, because her mother would have nothing wanted this, just because she is dead doesn’t mean this is right. Even though she doesn’t get along with her dad from her universe, he would still never fall to that extreme. She can’t even look him in the eye, especially when she sees Superman kill Billy Batson, he was just a kid. Though she would never win against Superman, she may have all her Kryptonian powers but her human DNA weakens her powers, she can bend steel but she can’t beat the man of steel. In this universe Clark has lost everything, he never got that perfect life that she was raised in, he didn’t get to raise his universe’s version of her, no that was taken from her when her mother ended up dead when she was pregnant with her because of the Joker. She could be his second chance, they all could, never mind that she come two decades late than she should have.

“No…no how could you?! Mom… she would have never of wanted this!”

Songbird is a little upset that she has to work with how father in the Insurgency when they get stuck in this alternate universe, she honestly has no idea how to feel about this and that is strange since Songbird almost always has something to say, she’s normally the smartest person in the room and she has never felt more clueless besides the fact that she is anger, so incredibly angry that a word like this could possibly exist, a world worse than the one she came from. Oh then when Songbird finds out about what happened to Dick Grayson, she is ready to kill. She never got along perfectly with Dick but he never deserved to die so when she sees Damian wearing his suit she is about ready to bash his skull in and she would have if she didn’t inherit her father’s no killing rule, so instead Damian ends up with a fractured skull, arms with compound fractures, and a number of broken ribs. She walks away like nothing happened, guess that’s just what happens when you lead a team of superpowered runaways for years.

“I’ll be sure to tell my universe’s Nightwing to steer clear of you… deranged little brat.”

Blue Lantern ends up the worst out of all of them, in this universe she died in the early days of the Regime, in this universe she never even became Blue Lantern. Then her twin brother went to join the Insurgency with his skills as a hacker and programmer because he knew his sister would have never stood for something like this, but this only ends up with him getting captured by the Regime and he gets locked up instead of killing him in hopes of rehabilitating him since Hal cannot loose another child. Then Blue Lantern and the others get pulled into this universe and something just breaks in her when she sees Hal wearing a yellow lantern ring, even if she has had her problems with her universe’s Hal she knows he would never turn to fear. It gets to bad that she looses hope, and she looses her power, she looses their first fight, her power ring dying on her, and then her face is revealed and Hal just stops, it’s her, his little girl that he lost. She gets captured first out of her team, locked up but she is not treated like a prisoner, a nice room, actually good food though it is slightly drugged, clothes that she actually likes they belonged to this universe’s version of her. Then this world’s Hal comes to visit her everyday, though she doesn’t talk to him, lost in the endless sea of depression that masks her hope that is buried deep down. It is only when Hal asks her about the other ring on her finger that she remembers what truly brings her hope and what she needs to get back to…

“In fearful day, in raging night…”

“Did you say something?”

“I said, In fearful day, in raging night, With strong hearts full, our souls ignite, When all seems lost in the War of Light, Look to the stars, for hope burns bright! So fuck off poser!”

Apollo, he has a hard time here, not only did Oliver die in this universe but so did he. He feels so conflicted about what he should do, he wants to help, but he already died in this universe, what if he dies again? What will happen to Blitz? He is more hesitant than usual, having to distant himself from his team while he gets his head on straight, but the person who gets it back on probably is Huntian, and that should be taken quite literally. Huntian slaps Apollo across the face and yells at him to get his head on straight since there are people dying in this universe, being controlled when they should have their freedom and Apollo became a hero to prevent what happened to his mother from ever happening again so he better pick up that damn bow and shoot straight. Though it doesn’t take long for Huntian to get captured either, getting caught when trying to save Blue Lantern and locked up beside her, but his ancient weapons and skills certainly get noticed, especially by Diana. In this universe, Huntian’s family never died and he is just some law student in Maine, but this version of him is promising, Diana asks him to join the Regime since he was raised by the Amazons and could help keep order and control, but that is not what he believe in whatsoever, he believes in protecting and caring as that is what a true leader will be remembered for at the end of the day and because of his actions in the past people will help him in the future meanwhile everyone will turn their backs on Diana in the end. Then just to prove him correct, Apollo is the one who saves Huntian, shooting Diana in the shoulder and knocking him out with his bow.

“What took you so long, sunny boy?”

“Nice to see you’re still alive, King of Ithaca.”

“…shut up.”

[arotheosis]

It’s all Whirred Up (NSBU Swap AU concept)

Essentially I started thinking about what it might be like if the action heroes were the ones in the real world, and the video world characters were the action heroes. I tried my best to switch things up so it feels different enough, although I’m still a little unsure about some character roles.

Will I ever actually sit down and write this properly? Who knows

In an old strip mall in Lake Elsinore sits one of the last remaining video rental stores in the country: Slater’s Video Superstore.

With the rise of streaming and digital media, however, the store is on its last legs. Its last week in fact, and its employees prepare to close down and find a new road to take in life.

Steven “King” Skin is a Princeton student with a bright future in politics. He’s nearing the end of his gap year, and wondering whether he really wants to go back to school after all. He works on the finances of the video store.

As he almost mindlessly balances the the store’s financial spreadsheets, he watches on one of the video store screens: Liv Skyler, master thief. Her name is whispered amongst criminal circles like a legend, because she can steal without even leaving a single trace behind.

Victor Ethanol is a young man with a dream of pursuing Formula 1 racing, but working several odd jobs to provide for his family. He does occasional maintanance/ plumbing work for the businesses in the strip mall, including the video store, which he visits frequently.

Trying to get him to take a break from working so hard, his brother Shaun asks if he wants to watch a movie. The movie’s protagonist? One Wendell Morris, former biker gang member who has become an informant for several underground organizations. He’s the black sheep of the Morris family, and their falling out is shrouded in mystery.

G13 is a young hacker who got caught attempting to access classified files, and was sentenced to community service. He’s supposed to be cleaning trash around the strip mall, but he mostly stays inside the video store using the crusty old public computer they have, since he’s no longer allowed to use any at home.

While attempting to bypass the many blocks on that ancient desktop computer, he sees a trailer for an old movie. It depicts Usha Rao, more commonly known by both her allies and enemies as Grandmother. She’s the head of a widespread criminal organization, and despite her sweet seeming appearance is someone to be feared. She’s been alive longer than anyone knows, she’s seen everything and knows everything, so if you mess with her family you cannot escape her wrath.

Working over by the more adult section of the store, is Jack Manhattan. After suffering through a grueling divorce with his wife and losing custody of his two children, his life is essentially at a standstill. He is very vocal about how much he prefers not being tied down, and talks about having many partners, but it’s clear that in reality he is not dealing with the separation well and is very lonely.

Unable to even look at the more unsavory content in front of him without thinking about the love he lost, he switches the channel only to see a movie starring crime investigator Paula Donvalson. While many overlook her based on her wild and sporadic personality, the crazy deductions she makes are more often than not entirely on the money, and the FBI begrudgingly hires her for many of their cases.

Jennifer Drips is a woman who does not stay in one place for far too long. Drifting quickly from town to town, she never sets up roots, but leaves a trail of lovers behind her. She is currently staying in a crappy apartment near Lake Elsinore, and working at the video store for some extra cash before she moves on.

On a screen behind her as she’s packing up the store’s inventory, plays a movie led by Russel Feelds, a mechanic developing gadgets for every organization under the sun. A self described lone wolf, he has no loyalty to any side, as long as you can pay his prices.

Greg Stocks is a wealthy man who owns nearly every storefront in the strip mall, except for the video store. He heads in every day attempting to make an offer that Slater will accept, but even as the store is close to shutting down, the video store owner remains stubborn.

Walking by the front of the store he sees, on one of the display TVs, a film about a man known only as Dang. Dang is the world’s deadliest assassin, and his methods are all just as strange as the man himself. After every kill he leaves behind his calling card, the word “rashab”. No one has deciphered its meaning yet.

[manonblaqkbeak]

Frozen burritos and Gatorade

Hey everyone, long time no see. Hope everyone is doing well despite everything going on in the world and that you're all staying safe.

Here I am with another fic (and with a title I hate because I cannot come up with titles to save my life lol).

It's a part 2 of the same human AU of another rowaelin fic I wrote last year titled Time With You and I have other half fics saved in my drafts in this AU because for some reason I have not been able to stop thinking about Rowaelin in this universe.

I apologise for any awkwardness with the text, I've written this on my phone because I lost the email that I use for this account to a hacker last year and cannot for the life of me remember my password 😭😭 and my laptop is slow as hell

Hope you enjoy x

Aelin woke up feeling like shit. And to the sound of keys rattling in the distance.

Sluggishly, she sat up against her headboard, her body heavy and achy, her head pounding and throat dry and sore.

She had gone to a conference for work and came back with a souvenir she did not want nor need.

She reached for her water bottle on her night stand and slowly sipped, her throat constricting painfully at each icy sip when she finally heard a deep voice coming from her living room.

"Aelin's suitcase is still by her front door. It doesn't look like it's been unpacked." Aelin, while she could sleep for another day, smiled at the sound of her boyfriend's voice. "Yes, the keys worked Dorian, I told you that Aelin and I exchanged keys the other week."

Oh gods, Dorian was in his questioning mood. He had done that the other week when she added Rowan as her emergency contact, which prompted question after question from one of her oldest friends.

She hadn't mentioned the key exchange, however and she knew that he would ask her about that, too.

Rowan had given her a copy of his apartment key after Fenrys had been given a third strike for using his copy of the key inappropriately (their friend had decided to go to Rowan's in the middle of the night to see if he had any good snacks).

Slowly, as if not to disturb her, Aelin's bedroom door opened and there was Rowan, in his work uniform, smiling at her. She smiled back, tried to greet him, but what came out was a dry and painful croak. She winced at the shredding sensation.

"Looks like you'll have to put her down for some sick leave, Dorian." Aelin nodded at that; she had plenty saved up, thankfully.

Gods, she hated being sick. As she lived alone, she had to look after herself or she knew she would never feel better.

Dorian answered on the other side of the phone and Aelin knew that he was asking to talk to her, so putting her hand out, Rowan places his phone in her hand, a questioning look on his handsome face.

No, she didn't really want to talk, but Dorian was persistent and she didn't really feel like texting, either.

"What?" She asked. She would do her best to say short words.

"Gods, you sound horrible," Dorian said. Aelin nodded, even though he couldn't see her, and waited for his next question. "Have you and Rowan really exchanged keys after three weeks?"

Aelin rolled her eyes, at least he wasn't subtle about his curiosity.

"Yes."

"Wow. You didn't even give Chaol a key until your eight month anniversary. You must really like Rowan. Like, really like him."

Rowan stood patiently by her side, and she cherished the soft smile on his face as he overheard Dorian's inquisition.

"Yes." Maybe it was her imagination but she could have sworn Rowan blushed a little. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight.

Who would have thought that she could make Rowan Whitethorn blush?

"Wow," he paused, and then asked a tad quietly but supportively, "are you pregnant?"

Her eyes could have fallen out of her head. "No. Goodbye, I'll let you know when I'm feeling better."

"But-!"

Aelin hung up, giving the phone back to Rowan, who looked like he was on the verge of laughing. Of course he still managed to overheat that tidbit.

"And you say I'm nosey," Rowan said. He placed the back of his hand against her forehead, whistling sharply at the heat that greeted him.

"No one will ever be as nosey as you," Aelin replied, taking another deep sip of her water, the elixir helping with the dryness but not all for the scratchy sensation. She had throat lozenges in her bathroom cabinet but her body ached too much to move at the moment.

Rowan read that in her eyes. She quickly realised during their short time together how easily that could read each other.

She never had that with any of her relationships. It was oddly liberating to look at someone and know that they knew what you were thinking.

"What drawer is your cold medicine in?"

"First on the left."

Rowan nodded and went to her bathroom down the hall. Her stomach growling, Aelin decided she needed to get up and moving.

Groaning, Aelin dragged herself out of bed, taking deep breaths as dizziness took over. She had been sick enough in her life to know her usual symptoms and this one only lasted a day, thankfully.

She put on her slippers and slowly made her way out of her bedroom, shuffling more than walking to her kitchen when Rowan's deep voice surprised her.

"Where are you going?" Her cold and flu medicine bag was in his hand looking ridiculously small in his large hands.

"Getting food," she said.

"I can get that for you," Rowan said, coming by her side.

"But-"

"You're sick, Aelin, and you need to rest in order to get better." He directed her back to her room, ignoring her protests that she was fine (she was not, and knew it).

Back in her bed, Rowan asked what she wanted. While she was hungry, she had little to no appetite and decided on the frozen bean, cheese and spinach burritos she always had on hand for moments like these. And a bottle of Gatorade that she had stashed in her fridge, again for moments like these (and for when she was hungover).

While Rowan went hunting in her kitchen, Aelin decided that her bed needed airing and went and sat in the comfy chair she had next to her nightstand in the corner against the window, stretched out her tired legs onto the plush velvet ottoman and sluggishly opened her curtains, blinds and window to let in fresh air and sunshine.

Rowan frowned slightly at seeing her not in bed but she simply narrowed her eyes at him, daring her boyfriend to say something. He didn't, but he smiled at the fire in her eyes.

She smiled back.

Rowan placed the serving tray on her lap, her sad looking burrito steaming, her blue Gatorade bright in the morning sun.

"Who would have thought," Aelin said, wincing at her croaky voice, "that you would be serving me like I did for you all those years ago."

Rowan smiled fondly at the past. Aelin had been a waitress during her years at university, and dozens of times Rowan, Aedion, Lorcan, Fenrys, Connall, and Vaughan showed up.

And each and every time Aelin served them, going out of her way to be especially snarky to Rowan each time he opened his mouth to order.

"I haven't been there in years. Is it still around?"

"Yes, although it's not as good ever since I left."

"We should go there soon. But first, when you are feeling better, what's something you'd like to eat? Because that burrito does not look appetising at all."

Rowan rolled his eyes at her response and she smiled a little more.

Aelin thought about it. She was a good cook, having been made to pretty much look after herself even in the care of Arobynn Hamel. She didn't even think her former carer knew how to cook; he paid people to do that for him.

"Ribs," she said. "Every time I cook them, they're dry as hell." No matter how many recipes she followed, it was a failure and Aelin didn't like failure.

"Alright, ribs it is. But first, your microwaved burrito."

Aelin slowly ate as Rowan made her bed without her saying anything. And took her suitcase and put her dirty clothes in the washing machine and put away the rest of her items.

Aelin's eyes teared up. It had been a long time since someone looked after her like this, she was so used to doing everything herself, even in her relationship with Chaol, when she was sick she still did what she had too, never stopping for one moment.

But she could get used to this. Having someone look after her, to give her a chance to actually rest.

And when Rowan stayed the night for the first time, staying on the sofa to give her all the space she wanted, she found herself waking up in the middle of the night to join him on the couch, and rested her head on his bare chest, fixing the blanket over them both.

Rowan woke up at the movement, kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, snuggling her in even closer.

Yes, Aelin thought, she could get used to this life with Rowan very easily.

And it didn't scare her at all.

[bezierballad]

IMPORTANT: If you either own or are in a Black Butler themed Discord server, PLEASE READ THIS

Please stay away from this user that goes by Winthlock (or Tsuki. They mostly go by Winthlock, but I'm assuming Tsuki is either one of their alts or a different username they go by)

They're not only a proshipper who raids Kuroshitsuji servers and posts disgusting images (specifically Sebaciel images) but also a hacker.

If they post a link, DO NOT CLICK IT otherwise they will receive your information.

I'm in a Black Butler roleplaying discord server and we just had one of our members hacked by this person

Said member also provided screenshots. (There's a LOOOOT of screenshots btw. Also TW for proshipping and some other gross stuff.)

Classic Sebaciel defender. Lovely. -_-

If you're wondering what Pink no Koneko is, a quick google search shows that it's one of those Sebaciel doujinshis. So now you have a good idea of what's probably behind that censor. 🤢🤮

And here is them posting the links that lead to accounts getting hacked. (In case you don't know, Grabify is what many hackers use to gain access to information such as a user's IP address)

One of the unfortunate victims is a friend of mine and in a mutual Black Butler server.

For those confused; the person who got hacked by Winthlock (I censored said person's name in blue) calling out Winthlock (who is both using the hacked account and trying to play innocent about the whole thing)

The "MA" user you're seeing in the above screenshot is the hacked account.

Please note the same profile picture.

Winthlock also goes by winthlock03 as you can see. (Either it's their alt username or one of their alt accs)

There's also been lots of speculation about Winthlock in general; another user (censored in pink) says that they also have some experience

Another user also states their experience (censored in green)

So if the information in the above screenshots is true, then there's a good chance that Winthlock is not only a proshipper, a hacker, but also a lowkey creep lusting for an underaged character and supporting their kid sister indulging in proshipping. (Again, this part is merely speculation, no screenshots of the comments, were provided unfortunately.)

But yeah, that's the basic gist of it.

I seriously cannot believe people are this petty. Proshipping is one thing: if you ship something disgusting like Sebaciel, fine. Whatever. No point in wasting time trying to change your mind. I'll just block you and move on with my day, simple.

But raiding servers and hacking people's accounts? That's honestly inexcusable. It's honestly abhorrent. And possibly convincing young individuals that proshipping is cool and something they should do and that there's nothing wrong with it? Absolutely degenerate behavior.

And I know there's gonna be someone saying shit among the lines of "Why are you aNTIS so worked up about a fictional ship"

This proshipper is raiding discord servers and hacking people, over a fictional ship. Just think about that for at least five seconds, please.

TL;DR if this person joins your server, please block them and ban them ASAP. Do NOT click the links they post.

[mosaickiwi]

Helloo!! I hope you're good <3 I wannted to ask for (REDACTED) where the MC have a realy big upcoming exam but cannot be motivated and diciplined. I cant realy tell a specific scenario unfortunatly but i realy need motivation to stay focused so i wanted to ask about it.

Hi hi I am well~ hope you are too <3 one serving of [REDACTED] for motivation

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

~Low Motivation Angel~

Still slightly damp from the shower, you finally felt somewhat ready to study. You meant to do it earlier, really. But so many things had gotten in the way: a new update on a mobile game, leaks of the next Attack on Giants episode, a cat you saw in the lobby.

You weren't procrastinating! It'd get done eventually—just as soon as you watched a video Moth had sent. You eagerly pressed the play button on your phone, bright eyed as you walked into the living room.

A bowl of water and peas was placed on the bare ground in front of a pair of hungry ducks running towards the camera. Before they could descend in a frenzy on the food, your screen froze, then turned dark.

One pale, scarred hand grabbed the phone from your grasp. “Hey!” you complained and turned towards the offender. You didn’t think to wonder how they shut off your phone before even touching it.

[REDACTED] stared down at you with a pointed look, the device held high above your head. “Didn't y’say you were going to study after your shower? Exam’s in a few days.” He nodded towards your textbook on the coffee table, practically collecting dust.

You huffed and reached up in an attempt to grab it. “I've got time! Just give it back.” The phone was quickly placed in your outstretched hand before you knew it. “Oh. Thank you.” 

As you turned it back on and plopped down on the couch, the dark-haired hacker was mentally kicking himself. They really needed to figure out how to say no to you. It was a long standing habit that would only be a hindrance now. He knew how upset you’d be if you didn’t do well on your exam.

He took a seat next to you. “Please, Angel,” they tried again, gently pulling you closer to get your attention. “Even if it’s only for an hour, y’need to study.” The sudden pleading frown on your face had him fighting his instincts that were desperate to give in. Not to mention the abandoned puppy vibes you gave off with your wet hair. He managed to tear his gaze away, though his resolve was already crumbled into nothing. 

In fact, now that he reconsidered it, you didn't need to study. They'd just hack your exam score in the system. Or make the whole thing simply go away. Bribe the professor, find where they live and—

“I guess you’re right,” you sighed, unaware of what was going through his mind. All the scheming grinded to a halt the moment he heard your breathtaking voice. “But it's so hard to get anything done. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay on track by myself.” You worriedly glanced at the intimidating cover of your textbook.

Your boyfriend was eager to help, but just as eager to jump at the chance of being in your presence for longer. Immediately, he offered an idea. “I could stay with you. Keep y’focused on work ‘n all that.” 

The worry on your face melted away, replaced with a smile of relief. “That'd be a huge help.” You looked down at the phone still in your hand before sheepishly holding it out to them. “Maybe you should hold onto this, though. Just in case?”

Without a word he took it to hide in the confines of his pocket. As you picked up the textbook and suddenly curled up at their side to get comfortable, the familiar scent of your shampoo wafted up to their nose. [REDACTED] had to remind himself to stay focused. Nothing would get done if he turned into a distraction.

[circumstantial-wallflower]

I can put of doing my intro for anoth-

OKAYOKAY JESUS.

« I’m SORRY it’s not my FAULT »

Hi! Im Tommy, Tumblr Sexyman, or any Kin name! (Well… Depends.)

My pronouns are It/Rot/He/Ae/They!

Im a fictionkin of MANY MANY characters.

Though the big one is c!tommy !

MINOR. MINORMINORMINOR

I post for many fandoms and get hyperfixtated on things super easily. If your following me because I post about this one fandom daily for like… 2 weeks then you’ll be disappointed when I slip away from that!

« The HACKERS have LOCKED my MIND in a VAULT »

Fandoms ooh ahh !! Bold means hyperfixtation, Italics means special interest!!

DSMP/MCYT

Object Shows

JRWI

Steven Universe

Dandys World

Pressure

Falsettos

UTDR

Class of 09 (I DO NOT SUPPORT ITS CREATOR. THEY ARE LITERALLY JEFFERY.)

A Silent Voice

Dress To Impress

Dungeons and Dragons

Homestuck

!!!

« As it is, I cannot STAY »

DNI list time!! If you break this, instant block!!

SO! DNI:

Normal DNI things (Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Ect)

Radqueer

Pro-Contact Harmful Para

Darkshippers

Anti-Therian, Anti-Fictionkin, Anti-Otherkin

I am Endo neutral since I am NOT A SYSTEM !! I do not have a opinion!!

Doubles are fine!

WSS/Dteam supporters are on the THINNEST ice possible. You guys often break my boundaries normally, so please just don’t talk about that shit around me.

« I wish these HACKERS would just GO AWAY !! »

[escape2plasticbeach]

i am thinking about this email. this email is running circles around me and i need to put down what i think somewhere..

i think it could be cyborg noodle and PLEASE let it be cyborg noodle because she is literally one of the best characters to come out of this whole thing, she does not deserve what happened to her she does not deserve another vague ending i want her to be back. please.

here’s what i think (and idc if you think some of it is a stretch):

first of all, on the instagram posts with pictures of different mvs, cyborg noodle is there (in a picture ON HER OWN, 2D didn’t even get a picture to himself), and on the nostalgiaz video? there are SO many cyborg noodle clips. why would they bother finding so many clips of her and including her in the pictures more than the LEAD SINGER if they weren’t trying to make us think about her

plastic beach deluxe, i know you could get it on itunes or something beforehand BUT now they’ve made it available for everybody, and it’s the ONLY album to have been changed. she literally was a replica of the guitarist AND bodyguard for murdoc. she was so so important to pb and phase 3, you literally cannot mention it without having to bring her up, so why would they want to release a special edition of plastic beach only if not to pull attention to that album in specific

now here’s where is gets a bit more of a stretch stay with me here

in the email it says “those apes left the cage door open” which okay sure it’s because they’re gorillaz haha but what IF they mean humans? and who’s an important character who isn’t a human? CYBORG NOODLE

its got to be somebody who previously knew the password because they knew the password before they changed it to 0. who was probably in on all group passwords etc because they were IN the band??? CYBORG NOODLE (she also probably remembers them all great because she’s a ROBOT)

and my last point the writer HACKED into the email. literally who would you guess to be the hacker if you had to pick between like a regular person or a cyborg. you’d pick the cyborg. surely she’d be good at hacking by default. once again points to CYBORG NOODLE

please let me be right here because i will scream and cry with joy. cyborg noodle you r literally one of my favourite characters ever please let this be true

[teecupangel]

As someone who very recently came into possession of a labradoodle who is more poodle than lab, how about that for dog!des? Specifically the fact that their fur is a fucking nightmare to deal with if not brushed regularly. Like twice a day regularly.

(We’ve been making fun of Malik for a while now so let’s change things up)

Shaun was an awful owner.

Truly.

He should never be in charge of any pet at all.

Desmond felt like his second life as a labradoodle is his own personal hell than a chance for a second life.

Forget about his plans to become the most awesome Assassin dog once he grew bigger.

He wasn’t going to survive his life as a puppy because the new mentor (some dude named Elijah) ordered Shaun and Rebecca to take care of him.

Okay.

Rebecca was awesome.

She never forgot his meal time. She walk him around the little suburban compound they were staying at the moment every morning and every afternoon. She let him run around the house and threw balls for him to chase (look, Desmond learned early on that he cannot fight certain canine urge, it was part of the whole “I got reincarnated into a dog” deal).

But she was, and Desmond could not stress this enough, nine months pregnant since last week.

Desmond couldn’t even wrap his head around the whole “yeah, Shaun and Rebecca are now married and soon will have their first kid” thing.

So…

Rebecca was ordered by a doctor named Chewy to rest and to not do any stressful and/or strenuous activities.

And, according to Shaun, Desmond was a stressful and strenuous activity.

First of all, fuck Shaun.

Second of all, Chewy also told Rebecca to try and move around the house and Desmond accompanied her whenever she did and, not once, did Rebecca call him a stress fur ball (like Shaun).

Third of all, Desmond knew that Shaun was actually the most stressed among the three of them. He was worried about Rebecca and he was still doing work for the Brotherhood.

But still…

“What happened to you? Why is your fur like this?”

He was so awful at taking care of Desmond.

He didn’t forget meal time (thank god) but that was because they timed his meal time at the same time as their meal time. Rebecca reminded Shaun to eat with her each time and Shaun automatically prepares Desmond’s food during that time (according to Rebecca, the mentor told them that Desmond cannot eat dog food so Desmond’s food is usually rice, some kind of meat and a bit of vegetables that are okay for him to eat, all… not seasoned at all but Desmond can deal with that)

Walk though… Desmond had to bark at Shaun just to remind him to walk him. One time, Shaun was in the middle of a debate (via messenger) with one of Erudito’s hackers and Desmond just gave up and peed on his leg.

No.

Desmond was not embarrassed. He lost all semblance of human embarrassment when he first had to shit on the grass while Rebecca was watching.

Now, all he felt was smugness whenever Shaun would sigh but grab his jacket so they could take a walk.

But Shaun’s worst offense was his inability to remember Rebecca telling him that Desmond needs to be brushed often.

Like…

At least twice a day.

Thrice would be better.

Rebecca usually brushed him after every meal and after their walk.

Because she knew how much of a nightmare his fur would become if it wasn’t properly cared.

But Shaun.

Shaun kept forgetting it and Desmond had to sit still while Shaun grumbled as he brushed his fur.

Seriously…

Desmond was honestly worried that Shaun would have this much trouble caring for their future baby.

Desmond would probably have to step up as the dog nanny.

Yippee.

[genuineformality]

Some SoC Kanej recs for @tlonista because I kept hitting the comment character limit on the post where we were talking about this and am now just putting them into a single place. (This also would have gone faster if I hadn't stopped to read every time I grabbed a link out of my bookmarks and lost the comment on the small internet.)

Incredible Prose, set in more or less canonverse:

a tall ship, and a star to steer her by, by @whatanybodygets (whitherward on ao3): Gorgeous prose and complicated emotions. Inej goes to sea and it's everything she wants and nothing like she expects.

roomy, and drenched in sunlight, also by @whatanybodygets. Inej and Kaz have a baby, but this isn't your niece's babyfic. Complicated, ugly, beautiful, these two fucking morons cannot talk to each other to save their lives.

Stories About Crows, by @marycontraire: A series that is by turns fun, touching, silly, heartbreaking, and realistic. Mary understands the importance of water rights and has a brilliant mind for looking at the shit that Leigh Bardugo made up and taking it to its logical conclusion. Top notch worldbuilding, fab writing.

Service Work, by @linearao3: LinearA's filthy (affectionate), kinky, and gorgeous series, in which she tricks her readers into caring deeply about her beautifully researched fake linguistics. Come for the porn, stay for the fake linguistics and gorgeous prose.

Alternate Universes: I don't know why I find these characters so compelling in AUs, which are not typically my thing, but in looking over my bookmarks, I have a ton of them saved.

save the undone years, by @whatanybodygets (again): Look, just read everything whitherward's written. But this is a WWI battlefield hospital AU and it just hits. It's honestly one of the best things I've read in the fandom.

Murder Ballad and Child Ballad, @linearao3: LinearA's filthy and touching a/b/o series, in which she looked at all of the most interesting parts of a/b/o dynamics, stuck it in the Grishaverse, and world-built like her life depended on it. Want to know what the economics of Ketterdam might look like in between the breeding kink? She's got you covered.

Latte Art, by @pyrrhlc: A coffee shop AU with teeth and one of the few written by someone with barista experience (Kaz spends a shocking, but realistic amount of time doing inventory). The whole series is fun, surprisingly high stakes in places, and one of my favorite modern AUs.

The Four Seasons, by @totchipanda: Slooooooow burn fake dating modern AU done well. Unfinished, but I happen to know that Totchi is still actively working on it. It's by turns a fun romp and an interesting take on modern AUs.

all these hours between us, by CoralAcacia: A college hacker AU, single chapter, but I return to this embarrassingly often. It's well written and nicely poignant in the insane pining.

@capinejghafa is also doing an author rec series here on tumblr where she's making gifs of faves along with posts, and honestly, what a delight that is.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 40 - JEALOUSY

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: gottalovev

The way gottalovev writes jealousy is a thing of beauty. Especially jealous Steve has my entire heart, he's so adorable in his insecurities, and I love how quick Tony is to reassure him when he figures out what's going on. Whenever the mood strikes me for some jealousy plot, I turn to these fics in particular, so I'm sure you'll love them just as much as I do!

Here's some of their work that I think you should check out:

What about us?

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 6,808 Tags: Mutual Pining, Flirting, First Time

Summary: Don't get Steve wrong: he is grateful Star-Lord and his crew joined the fight against Thanos. The blatant flirting with Tony, though? He doesn't like it at all.

Reasons why I love it: I'm always a huge fan of jealous Steve, and this fic is one of my favorites. To me, it makes complete sense for Quill to blatantly flirt with Tony the minute he sees him, and I really love Steve's reaction to it. Plus, the smut afterwards is hot as hell. I love this one, and I bet you will too!

lead up the garden path

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Carol/Jessica Rating: T Words: 5,261 Tags: Misunderstandings, Period-Typical Homophobia, Secret Relationship

Summary: They cannot live openly, but Sheriff Steve Rogers has found love with Tony Stark, Timely's blacksmith and inventor. He thought everything was going well, until their friend Carol Danvers comes back from Washington with her sister Jessica and everything changes.

Reasons why I love it: Aaaah, Steve, you poor, oblivious fool! I love how Tony cottoned on to what was happening with Carol and Jess immediately while Steve stayed in the dark, it's very true to their characters. And the resolution at the end is super sweet. I love this fic, and I bet you will too!

Something like fate

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 8,411 Tags: Civil War Fix-It, Multiverse, Getting Together

Summary: Tony and Steve go alternate-reality hopping by accident (Fine. It's Tony's fault: he touched something he shouldn't have in Reed Richard's lab). It's an eye opening experience.

Reasons why I love it: Tony being jealous of himself feels like exactly what would happen in this situation they find themselves in. And of course, Steve finds a way to turn their experience into something positive for everyone. This fic is wonderful, and I bet you'll love it just as much as I do, so I hope you'll check it out!

Let me dream a song

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 33,170 Tags: Action/Adventure, Secret Relationship, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Tony is sent to Colonel Phillips to assist with a secret weapon that could help them win the war. In exchange, he'll have the support from a few of his soldiers in order to retrieve Hydra's mysterious Cube, which could be the solution to fix his heart. It's a shock to find out that Phillips’ weapon is a man, a super soldier even. Even more so that it's Steve, the cute soldier Tony met in a bar the night before, and with whom he made an instant connection. Love in a time of war isn't easy, but Steve and Tony are determined to make it work.

Reasons why I love it: I'm always a sucker for a good Tony-working-with-the-Howlies fic, and this one is no exception! I love the Marvel Noir crossover, and Steve is absolutely precious in this one, oh my god, I just want to wrap him in a blanket and hug him forever. Their brief lover's spat about Steve's jealousy is excellent too. I love everything about this, so I definitely hope you give this one a shot!

As Thick As Thieves

Pairing: Steve/fem!Tony Rating: T Words: 4,594 Tags: Leverage Fusion, Mutual Pining, Team as Family

Summary: Toni is thrilled! Their current case aims to help clear Bruce Banner's name. (Leverage AU, always a woman hacker Toni Stark)

Reasons why I love it: Awww, is it weird that I think that Steve being jealous of Bruce is super cute here? If it is, don't tell me, because I'm thoroughly enjoying it. I love the nod to the 'PDA makes people uncomfortable' here and that Steve finally takes that extra step in the end. This fic is lovely, and I hope you check it out for yourself!

[toonqueen]

Duckvember Day 17: Eggheaded Duck

TOO TIRED TO COLOR. 

So I have this Mighty Duck’s OC that was Tanya’s older cousin. His name was Erik and his hacker name I BELIEVE was Egghead. He was smart like Tanya but felt cheated out of promotions in  previous tech jobs so he gave up being in that industry. Instead he got into stealing from the rich. Like you do. He ends up running a small thief group where he hacks security and lets others in to take the stuff.  Erik kept this double life secret from this family though. 

In my story line I had Duke (and my OC, that is his sister Duluna,) join the smaller thief group before later joining the whole Brotherhood of the Blade debacle. The reason Duke knew Erik is because he used to date their aunt. (very on and off, but stayed friends through it.) Duke and Duluna’s aunt (who I cannot remember the name of lol) may have been a wee bit into witchcraft, crystal and horoscope gal that believed the reincarnate of Drake Ducaine and his  friends that helped him were all around in this time all together now because something catastrophic was going to happen soon and they would be needed again. She wasn’t wrong. Unfortunately something happens to her and Duke and Duluna get left with Erik who feels responsible to keep a roof over their heads. 

A lot of the people in this little group Erik leads started out in their teens so he had to accidentally be a bit of a parent figure too. Oops. But he’s really a nice guy. Honorable thief Robin Hood thing going on. Wouldn’t put the group in trouble he couldn’t get them out of. 

 I always like the idea though that maybe Duluna and Tanya met once as little kids via Eric. Maybe Erik had to babysit Tanya once and met Duluna. Then many years later when they meet on Earth they probably wouldn’t even recognize each other. Though for Duluna’s origin store she does mention Erik to Duke, leading to Tanya being like “Oh I have a cousin named Erik.” And then finding out they knew the SAME ERIK. 

When Dragaunus attacked, only Erik and Duluna were nearby each other. The other members of the group were not found. They avoided capture but at the same time did not trust the military run resistance. Both of them instead worked with smaller groups of survivors, scavenge supplies for them, that kind of thing. Upon hearing rumors that the military was looking for the Mask of Drake Ducaine, Erik started to try to build his own from scratch. There was a limit of resources though. He did have a partly built one he would keep tinkering with though. 

One of the small non-military resistance groups that they start working with started being a thorn in Dragaunus’ side. Enough to be noticed. He unleashes a robotic creature to hunt the  resistance. Erik figures out it can only be blown up while inside it to permanently destroy it. He knew there was a chance he would have to sacrifice himself to blow it up, but he had hoped to get away. I always wanted to write a song fic to that  whole situation to this song. MAYBE SOMEDAY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iAYhQsQhSY&list=PLKQn9I9WSbNpj1pjYz-zxjkZbotY943T1

He then shows up later in this big story I wrote now lost on an old hard drive. Show up as a ghost though to Tanya. To inform her HEY guess what we are related to Drake Ducaine. Thats a whole other story.

[whenimpresident]

Hello, everyone who is freaking about the CDC censorship in news and press reports. I would like to make clear a specific portion or claims HAVE actually been exaggerated- which is good news! It means that not everything is bad. But, to keep straight what is currently being censored is important, as well as other happenings of the CDC that affect the release of information.

1- The CDC is not allowed to speak to the public.

Despite being a public health awareness agency, the CDC is currently banned from speaking to the press, or utilizing their own public speakers to release information on health concerns. This is dangerous because it limits the intervention that officials can provide on public health emergencies and alerts, such as disease outbreaks.

2- The CDC website is under construction, not down.

This is an important distinction, but equally as dangerous. The site is still accessible to visual readers, though actual accessibility such as screen readers, large font, and other features is not on most pages. These pages are being revamped visually everywhere on the site, but so far, I cannot find any actual missing data on the web pages I have visited. There are thousands of web pages, I cannot visit them all to confirm, and the Internet Archive does not save every single page. Even worse, science is an ever changing field, and pages even a year old are not useful when comparing to the current pages. There are so many web pages, I doubt they could be removed methodically in the way the pages have been modified on the site. This is optimistic, but optimism with more evidence then the alternative. The alternative seems true upon first glance, but with further digging, I have found only surface level proof to the panic.

3- Other sources are available.

Scientists use other websites to gain information, usually NIH's systems for research papers. This is not useful to the public, because these papers can be painful to read. But with that in mind, the primary source material is FAR more powerful than any transliterated report, because it contains minute details that are essential in science but unhelpful to the public. They contain data, collection methods, other referenced sources, and so much more information that the friendly-to-read versions cannot provide. The best part? Getting rid of these are close to impossible. I, personally, have hundreds of these papers downloaded on 6 different topics and 48 different specifications on my 1 TB hard drive, and that takes up less than 7% of the entire drive. I am not even a professional researcher, just a nerd who works in applied science. Can you imagine how much the researchers hold? Imagine the back ups in the cloud, the forgotten paper files in the library, the teachers and professors in colleges? The more understandable information can be given from the complex later, if they choose to remove data on the CDC.

Download more, please. This isn't perfect, and every page lost is a tragedy to humanity. Freely available information is the greatest feat humanity has achieved, along side the Tropical Neglected Disease project and the obliteration of Smallpox. Every page saved, is likewise, a boon to society. If papers are truly being removed, or worse, destroyed by our current suspected regime, let them know backlash, and let them know that nothing is ever lost on the internet. Put it on the dark web for all I care, next to hacker forums and suspicious ads, so long as that informative stays in the world, I can have hope.

Finally, for those who threaten this modern burning of Alexandra. Count your happy days. Count your blessed moments. Every page you ruin, every second you waste burying information that ultimately benefits lives you deem lower, will be counted on your death toll. When the bell finally stops ringing, you won't even be able to enjoy the blessed silence before I cut you down. Your actions threaten lives outside of what you target. You target gender care, you risk patients with chromosomal abnormalities. You target sexuality studies, you threaten mental health research and psychology as a whole. You target medical papers that threaten your pathetic understanding of the world, and you will watch hundreds of children die from disease forgotten long before your miserable exsistence.

I have a personal claim in this. I have siblings, I have friends, I have lives threatened by your actions. You so much as step in that direction? Well, thank God for the actions of our forefathers, who gave us the right to bear arms. I have the right to self defense, and in defense of those who you forced to be legally classified as 'other' and unworthy of rights, I will knock you down.

[minimumwagedsoul]

🎩 WELCOME… TO THE A-GAYZING RIZZITAL CIRCUS! MY GAMERTAG IS CAINE, AND IM QUEER TO SHOW YOU THE MOST OHIO-SENDING, SKIBIDI EDGING, DISCORD MEWING YOU'VE EVER PHANTOM TAX, ISNT THAT, GIGA CHAD?

🫧 'THATS RIGHT SIGMA, I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOUVE GYATT IN THE KITCHEN TODAY!'

🎩 WELL, LETS NOT GRIMACE-WASTE, LETS ISHOWSPEED RIGHT INTO THE FAMILY GUY COMPILATIONS!

🎶 banban, and goku, and big chungus too, pepe, peppino, amongus, delulu!~ 🎶 gay after gay after day we fry, as the renegade pokimane makes us cry 🎶

🐰 ''gayine, is this another goofy ahh grassy pillow again? or is this a new subscriber? cause if its a new twitch donator.. we gyatt to redo this whole mlg monologue!''

📐 ''im not doing gyatt again."

🎩 ''MY MY, IT APPEARS A SUS IMPOSTER HAS JOINED THE LOBBY!"

🤡 ''HOW DO I… LEAVE THE SIN CITY WASNT MADE FOR ME''

🐰 ''just keep edging gyatt it, that ellen degeneres for all of us''

🤡 ''what the barnacles!?!? i-i-i-i put on owlhouse and now im here? who are you baby gronks? why cant i leave floptok? how do i leave minecraft?''

🎀 ''lets all kai calm-net down, everythings gyonna be okay thugshaker, weve all been through this escape the ariana grande obby, you just need to-''

🤡 ''WHAT THE VINE BOOM IS GOING ON- what?''

🎩 ''WARNING ONE, YOU CANNOT SWEAR IN GENERAL! THE GAY-MAZING RIZZITAL CIRCUMSIED IS A PLACE TO BE CLIPPED BY ALL STREAMERS, EVERYTHING CAN HAPPEN HERE! execpt for being the biggest bird ''

🤡 ''how do i.. lightskin leave?''

🎩 ''👁️👄👁️''

🎀 ''..well.. dont make a twitlong about this but-'

🐰 ''the only way you can leave is by watching phonk nair videos''

🤡🤡 ''(TIM ALLEN SHOCK NOISE)''

📐 '':mute jax.. but hes right.. welcome to the underground, how was the fall?''

🤡 ''WHAT DO YOU MEME?"

🎀''guys… dont be straight.."

🐰 ''weve been scrolling on tiktok for years.. old finger over theres been streaming the longest''

♟️''MISTER BEEASSSSSTTTT!''

🐰 ''thats why he needs to stop it.. get some help''

🤡 ''oh.. ogay, now i gyatt it! im watching dream, i should just get in the uber!''

🐰 ''whatever you say lesbian''

🎭''..my obama prisim.." :(

🐰 ''so crane, where we dropping boys?"

🎩 ''ID LIKE TO SHOW OUR BRAND NEW MOD MY ROBLOX OBBY FIRST, OFF WE GO!''

Y2FuIGFueW9uZSBoZWFyIG1lPw

🎩 ''here we have GARTEN OF BANBAN, this is where the florida men are kept, along with the FNF mods, these mods may include- GIVE HIM BACK!!!!!!!! GIVE HIM BACK!!!!!!! HES MINEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! >:((((

🤡 '' is gyatt all there rizz?''

🎩 '' OF COURSE NOT, THIS IS.. MY SPLATOON 2 LETSPLAYS!! we dont watch my OLD videos, i w(a)(m)s racist homophobic sexist abelist terrorist watchlist slay back then.

🤡 ''(huh cat)-''

🎩 '' we stay RIGHT HERE where i can keep my 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!! YOULL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN."

🌙 '' IVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT- ''

🎩 ''DONT MAKE ME PISS ON YOU AGAIN''

🤡 ''wait whats th- HHRUEEGGEYYAHHAHAUHASGSGUGDS :vomits vomits vomits vomits vomits vomits: ''

🎩 '' WOAH!!!!!! SHES LITERALLY DOING THE GWIDDY!''

🫧 ''me too!! watch me boss!!!!!!!"

🎩 "Stop."

🤡 ''Was that an skibidi toilet I saw out there? Is gyatt a way get a weave?"

🐰 '' What toiwet? If there was a way to not be a noob vs pro im pretty sure we'd all be hackers by now. "

📐''Yeah, what are you waffling about?"

🎩'' I ASS(ure) YOU, THERE RIZZ NO EASTER BUNNY, THERE IS NO FEETFAIRY, AND THIS RIZZ NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND!''

🤡''YOUR MOM HITS IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A CHROMEBOOK CHARGER-''

🎩 '' THATS WHY YOU SOUND LIKE THE ROBLOX COIL SOUND BITCH BOI- how about we talk about roblox doors? Whats your gamer tag?''

🤡 ''my @ is… uh.. OH FUCK. ALL I CAN POST IS ☻/ This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over youtube. /▌ /\ ''

🎩 ''FORGOT PASSWORD? SIGN IN USING EMAIL ADDRESS.. OR MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT! ENTER NEW NAME AND NEW PASSWORD''

🤡 ''GOD FUCKING DAMMIT KRIS WHERE THE HELL ARE WE''

🎩''dont you worry your 0% rizz, your new tumblr url can be ANYTHING! Heweby acknowwedging that youw chosen name and ow names may nowt bweach the Digitaw Ciwcus usew wicense agreement stating that youw name may nowt incwude objectionabwe content. Objectionabwe content incwudes but is nowt wimited to: Sexuawwy expwicit matewiaws, obscene, defamato-wy, wibewous, swande-wous, vio-went, and ow un-wawfuw content ow pwofanity. ''

🤡'' erm… actually.. randomly generate it please. ''

🎩 ''lets see… Who is Pomni - for 300?'' (jeopardy)

🤡 ''(womp.)

🎩 ''you're right, marketable, lets try gyatt again! what do you think of XDDCC? ''

🤡 '' BIYTCH IS YOU BLIND-''

🎩 '' badonkers. dobonhonkeros. massive doboonkabhankoloos. big ol' tonhongerekoogers!!! we should start a sidequest with our new donator, XDDCC!!! ''

🐰 ''i said that at 3:20 in the original pilot''

🎩 ''YYYOUUUUUU! SOILDJABOY OFF IN IT, WATCH ME CRANK IT WATCH ME ROLL, WATCH ME CRANK THAT SOULJA BOY THEN SUPERMAN THAT, NOW WATCH ME YUUU-''

🫧'' (plays kevin mcloyed)''

🎩'' ########### ## ####### ### ### # # ##### ''

🤡 ''does anybody in this thread play minecraft-''

🎩 '' SINCE YOUR ACCOUNT IS 12 MINUTES OLD, were gonna make this simple for your ipad baby ass, a simple oklahomo powered adventure to warm you up to the pizza tower. ''

📐 ''NO!! I DONT WANT TO PLAY WII SPORTS… GRRR… eyes glow red''

🎩'' dont worry zooble/halfdemon/princess/rich/gamer/wolf/donttouchmytail/crush;secret!!! ill make it so you can play it on console AND pc! ''

aXRzIHNvIGNvbGQ

🎩 '' hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome to gather the number lore! thats right! here in the rainbow friends playplace will be rizzed up with swifties, you gotta catch em- (COPYRIGHT)''

🫧 ''what are swifties?''

🎩 ''thanks for the ask, anon! theyre mid-''

🫧''can it run bad apple''

🎩 ''..they-''

🫧''..can it play megalovani----''

🎩'' Swifties are part of the number lore that vore everything and draw anything they rizz into! Why do these sans fangirls do this? How do you block them? thats for me to know and for you to find out.''

🤡''…what… did any of gyatt mean?''

🎀 ''oh, hes just ai generating mr beast videos, theyre content farm so the ipad babies dont go insane.''

📐''speak for yourself motherfucker, if anyone needs me im smoking a fat blunt- OH GOD OH FUCK- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa….''

🐰''oh no, they killed zooble.. you bastards.. anyway you lesbians wanna play touhou?''

🎀'' (pheonix wright) HOLD IT!! we should check on KSI-FMO. I'm pretty sure he'd like to challange XDDCC to a boxing match!''

♟️''THERES 104 DAYS IN SUMMER VACATION-''

🎀'' You wanna come with us to *check on boykisser kaufmonster, how should i feel?''

♟️''Not rizzly. I think Kevin macleoufmos got packed by packgod. Last time I spoke with him, he was watching Lankybox for over 6 hours."

🤡''whose lankybox?''

♟️''No."

🎭''can someone save my goth genderfriend :(''

🤡 '' Well if you wont tell me, then I'll just ask him. And then I'll stop watching dream and watch tubbo instead!"

🐰 ''Heh. She still thinks dream isnt a pedo."

🎀 ''why are you looking at me like that? …. fa-"

🐰 ''im fine with doing (yourmom) as long as I get to see vanossgaming gmod prophunt funny moments- OW. okay ive had enough of these spambots. You, me, and XDDCC will go to the gastation. Sexualized ribbons and tumblr sexyman together will go block all the swifties.

🎀 ''..is shipping them a good idea?"

🐰 ''of course i do, im also a tumblr sexyman, whats gonna happen? i get shipped next? (proweler meme)''

🎭 ''…my comedy cock is broken again.''

♟️''okay. wait WHAT. ''

aW0gaHVuZ3J5

🎀''Welcome to the internet, have a look around, anything skibidi or phantum tax can be found. We gyatt maximum sigma grindset, but- WAIT XDDCC NO DONT LOOK UP YOUR OWN NAME!- '

🤡 ''I dont understand.. why go to the goofy ahh meepcity parties instead of trying to exit terraria?''

🎀''Well, we usually do, when we first make an account. But after awhile you start to realize that shiny hunting for the same pokemon or trying to get your favorite animal crossing villager to visit your island will make you become marketable and youll succumb to the pibby glitch."

🐰''Thank goodness this is all just an SMP, right XDCC?''

🤡''……………………… Why are we here again? Who am i, who am i? What are you even saying?''

🎀''We're gyetting one of the boys at 3 am." … Huh. Maybe he's off-stream mining? Hope he's not in creative.

🐰''Dont worry raggedy andy, Im gonna be so racist itll open the door."

🎀 ''JAX NO!!! YOU SHOULDNT BE RACIST TO DOOR!!!!''

🐰''Okay i wont be racist… JUST KIDDING, IM ULTRA RACIST NOW. You're not afraid of gay people, are you?"

🎀''JAXX!!!!!!!!! THATS LITERALLY MY ONLY FEAR (homophobic) WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS…!!!"

🐰''(minecraft open door) im gonna have to take my balls back from you kaufy. Papyrus.. im going to grillbys, do you want anything?"

🎀 ''..OH….. KAUFMO985 BECAME PART OF THE PIBBY GLITCH. INSERT SEINFIELD THEME."

tobecontinued.