#hahahahaha omg these people are so fucking stupid

[wilwheaton]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

long deep breath

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

https://deadstate.org/man-who-bought-over-2k-worth-of-trump-bucks-discovers-theyre-worthless-when-he-tries-to-cash-them-in-at-the-bank/

[wagner-fell]

WAGNER

Istfg I'm going to write a book about my experiences with this guy who confessed his feelings to me. It's going to be an autobiography and a comedy because ALLO PEOPLE ALLOING I JUST CAN'T

So, backstory. It's important to note that I'm out, okay? I'm no longer trying to hide my sexuality because, what's the point. I'm perfectly comfortable being ace and having an irl friend who's also ace is so fucking healing. Anyways. Being out means that I'm not only out to my uni friends, but also to my dorm friends. I don't introduce myself as ace straight away, but if there's a conversation that revolves around sexual attraction, I say I don't have any or if I see a guy that's cute and I say it, then I follow with 'although I don't like guys'. The other day I caught my guy friend fresh out the shower and I told him I was ace not to make him worry, and he said he knew --mind you, I hadn't verbally said the word ace before but he knew because I'm very obvious about it.

Conclusion? There's no fucking way this guy could rationally think I was possibly into him. Still he got a crush. Still he decided to confess, even when our "romantic" conversations were like this:

He: I love you <3

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

He: you're cute

Me: I know

*watching a film*

Me: *stares at the screen*

He: *stares at me*

Me, feeling his eyes on me: *stares at the screen harder and inches away*

He: I love you <3

Me: bye *closes the door in his face* but the door doesn't close right so I spend 5 seconds forcing it shut

Also, behold my face whenever the topic of sex is brought up:

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

He.

Was.

Told.

I.

Was.

Ace.

MULTIPLE.

TIMES.

AND HE HAD THE NERVE TO BE "rEaLLy??? :0" WHEN I CAME OUT TO HIM

Tbh I was also a bit stupid because in my desperation I tried to chug his lovey-dovey behaviour as just cultural things (he's Colombian and has spent the last decade in Ecuador before moving to Spain for uni).

Basically, I'm seriously considering writing a book about my experience because its fucking surreal and pure comedy. I no longer feel bad for him because he's been so fucking stupid

Ggigjfycfugvnddufvkgjjgddy

Omg I’m working a 8 hour shift rn so this was a delight to read on my break

Omg CK this is literally so funny 😭😭😭

How can one person be so oblivious??? Do you think he was just in denial or what?????

[theficblog]

lil sis!! the last chapter of hearts is basically a romcom ㅠㅠㅠㅠ humour+ love are always the best ㅠㅠ♡♡♡♡♡ especially the very last sentence was like a curtain call 🥺🥺🥺 it's just so perfect…ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ♡♡♡♡♡

and yooooooooo the VERY unexpected jaeyong moment!!!!!!!!!! i TOTALLY didn't see it coming ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ but it's so sweet though 🥺🥺🤍🤍🤍 this addition is literally cherry on top ㅠㅠ♡♡♡♡♡

thank you for the ending ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ (and for not crushing my heart ㅠㅠ and for not making jeno cry again ㅠㅠㅠㅠ😆😆😆) jaemin just has such a big heart, doesn't he? ㅠㅠㅠㅠ blessing the person you love to be with their happily ever after, that's how much he loves her omg..😢 i hope he will eventually find his true love too 🥺🥺🤍🤍🤍 has this always been what you planned to write? do you have an alternative ending in mind? 👀 and will you wanna torture your readers in the future with more angst? gashsjjs 😈😈🙈💔💔💔💔

i tend to feel lost if the fiction i read has > 2 or 3 people bc my pea-sized brain can't imagine so many people at once 😭 —— unless the characters have very contrasting and lively personalities, and your writing did that so i was able to keep up everyone's role here ♡♡♡

im so so sorry for the late message ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ tumblr ate my reblog 😭😭😭 i hope writers never encounter this problem, bc that can be so frustrating 😭😭😭 (always save your work somewhere else, guys!! tumblr can be as stupid as elon musk sometimes 😭)

big sis 🙈🙈 awwwwww 🥺🥺 this is so precious the little details you never fail to notice have my heart <3

the ending was so hard to write i had to include some funny elements or else i thought i'd be very bland ahahahah and yes the taeyong and jaehyun one, honestly i was so skeptical about that until the second i clicked on the "post now" cos people come for anything these days fuck homophobes btw

jaemin was such a sweetheart totally, i always had in mind that he would be this type of character cos these kinds of men are not found outside of books and movies, he was just flawless but still, if you love someone you love the regardless of the flaws says who has never loved but yeahh

ohhhh interesting, more angst would have been nice im so cruel for this but i love angst so much hahahahaha 😈 but idk if i will be capable of adding a plot to this, my thought was to "have two guys and then one perfect guy and frat kinda guy and then this" lololol

awwww that is such a huge compliment ohmygod stop you are gonna make me blush 😳

thank you for staying with hearts all this time, i'm so happy you enjoyed it ❤️

[scarluxia]

the You fandom needs to STFU about "hating Guinevere Beck = victim blaming, WAH."

In the book, sure, she was an asshole, but she was paradoxically a better character. The show tried to make her a ✨relatable everygirl✨, but instead they made this self-absorbed, flaky, tactically inept, lying, cheating, whiny twit who couldn't find a way out of a wet paper bag. Quite frankly, trying to pass someone like her off as an "everygirl" is insulting to real women. And you know what, yeah, there ARE a lot of ways she could have avoided being unalived by Joe, and calling her out on tactical ineptitude is NOT the same as saying she """deserved""" what happened. I don't care if she did or didn't, but I WAS cheering when Love Quinn said Beck was unremarkable and mediocre.

When we first met Beck, she showed some signs of intelligence and likability that sadly didn't last past a couple episodes. She had a steady job, was working her ass off, showed some serious balls to the professor who was acting inappropriately towards her, and it was easy to root for her. When Joe started stalking her and acting like he was the lead in a romantic comedy, yeah the show did a good job of pointing out how those types of comedies can influence toxic behavior on impressionable minds.

but dear GOD that girl was so up her own ass! I do feel like Joe genuinely tried to help her at some points, sure for selfish reasons, but I honestly don't care about those. He kept house for her, cooked for her, threw her this gorgeous theme party and baked her a really thoughtful cake. He even vouched for her and got her a job at his place of work, which she couldn't even BOTHER to attempt to do properly. It's understandable that she would need SOME time off from doing anything to mourn her friend's death, but I genuinely don't think that's what was going on there. I think she was being a flake and grasping for anything to use as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility. She didn't get her worked turned in on time for the lady professor even though Blythe did EVERYTHING in her power to help her (side note: "the most analog princess in the land" would use a pen and paper, NOT A TYPEWRITER). This chick just didn't want to be helped and I cannot overemphasize how much I HATE that type. A lot of her problems were her own damn fault because play stupid games = win stupid prizes.

Was Joe a dumbass for aliven't-ing people close to her? Yes; she would realistically be considered a suspect, and don't even get me started on him TAKING A CALL WHILE TRYING TO HIDE A BODY. (They're both tactically inept but I can rant about Joe in another post.) But up to a point he did care about her, and I believe he did trust her to a degree and she betrayed that trust.

Now, sleeping with her therapist HAHAHAHAHA okay MAYBE he took advantage of her because blah blah blah position of power blah blah (although another fandom I'm in has probably warped my view regarding that). But she didn't even have the grace to act ashamed or even try to pin it on him for taking advantage of her. That makes me think she CHOSE to cheat on Joe. And if memory serves, this was right after she'd gotten back WITH Joe after helping him cheat on Karen. He was 100% correct to suspect her. Now, following her to verify it, that's a moral grey area (hey, the internet remembers what those are, right?), but she was WAY more concerned that he was """following""" her than the fact that SHE was doing something that hurt him and got caught doing it. (And I'm not absolving him of responsibility; he fucked up, too, a lot, but again, that's for another post.)

Why the FUCK did she feel the need to go snooping in the ceiling after she was so freaked out about him following her (aka invading her ✨privacy, wah✨)? When you snoop, you might find things you don't like. It's an occupational hazard of being FUCKING NOSY. (I would know! 😃 )

Her reaction to what was in the box was... average. Can't fault her for that. But the way she HANDLED IT OMG. Like... What Joe was doing was absolutely not normal, but she should have KNOWN hey, this guy is fucking obsessive and crazy at this point! Maybe being fidgety and super obvious about trying to get away, and ALERTING HIM TO THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO GET AWAY, IS A STUPID IDEA!!! Literally she could have just said, "Hey... I'm SO sorry but I accidentally broke your jar. I promise I'll buy you another one. In fact, we can go shopping now if you want." & then give him the slip at the store using the ladies' room or whatever. Now with that  being said, no, she didn't """deserve""" to be knocked out and wake up in a cage, but I'm not sure how the fuck she expected her super obvious attempt to leave (when he was SURE to discover what happened) would work in her favor. Dumbass!

Waking up in the cage. Okay, here's where my personal tactics diverge from what's considered a "normal reaction". I actually pitched a "wake up in a cage" plot to a friend to use with our frenemy characters. Maybe this shows a lack of diversity on my part, but I'm pretty sure EVERY single one of my characters would have the sense to pretend it's a romantic vacation. She clearly knew that's how he wanted to be perceived. Failing that, she could have played dumb (I'm not sure why that was hard for her since she legit IS DUMB).

"Joe? Honey? Uh... what's going on? Did you bring the pancakes?"

or

"Hey, I'm sorry I broke your jar, but don't you think this is an overreaction?"

or literally something else innocuous like that.

Playing into his desire to hear what he wanted-- FUCKING EVENTUALLY, IT TOOK HER GODDAMN LONG ENOUGH-- was a smart move, but she overplayed her hand and screaming at him about being a """psycho""" or whatever 🙄🙄🙄 probably just motivated him to deathify her faster because obviously he'd get defensive & be in denial about that shit. Calling a psycho a psycho rarely works out in your favor just FYI.

Pretty sure she had him knocked out at one point, so like... she could have Removed him as a Threat permanently but she didn't and that was also a tactical error on her part. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS make sure you finish a job like that if you think your life is at risk.

Anyway it's like 3:00 a.m. and I'm rambling about a show I honestly loved at first, but GOD!!! BECK IS THE WORST JOE GIRL IN THE SHOW. Book Beck at least had some COMMON FUCKING SENSE and she had a better chance at surviving her captivity. It actually made me SAD that Book Beck didn't, but Show Beck I was just fuckin rooting for Joe to pest control her ass already.

 (Marienne is my favorite but ONLY after I saw her showing some serious fortitude in season 4.) I adored Love the first time I saw season 2 but then the second time it was like ehhhhh being the whiny brand of manipulative was really unnecessary, and good GOD did the writers lose track of her character in season 3! I don't even know if 2 Love and 3 Love were the same PERSON! And, no, you can't put all those fuckin changes on post-partum.  Post-partum affects aspects of your mood and behavior; it does NOT change your entire fucking personality. I miss the fun, carefree, obsessive but adorable about it Love from like the first few episodes of season 2 before the whinging and mind games set in. And, seriously? They didn't need to make her first husband's demise not-an-accident. I was fine with thinking he died from illness, but learning retroactively about her paralyzing a MUTE MAN WHO USES HIS HANDS TO TALK just felt... weird. Also how the FUCK did Ms. "LA runs deep in these veins" make friends with someone like Sherry and cut out Sunshine, Sunshine's wife forget-her-name, and GABE???? Should be fuckin criminal. I think those three kept her grounded.

And the Season 4 girl was... ehhh she gave him useful resources and took his crazy in stride, but idk she's otherwise forgettable. I don't even remember her name (nor can I be assed to look it up). I think it might have been Kate, but don't quote me on that. I didn't like her overall personality.

And yeah I'm bitching about a LOT of the women in the show, so let's name some ladies I liked.

- Blythe. Super pretentious but in similar ways to me, and she's cultured and intelligent enough to get away with it. Also she DID do her utmost to help Beck, and her romance with Ethan is completely adorable.

- Peach to a degree. Her actress is hot, and while she wanted to keep Beck as a pet, she was also pretty generous about helping her. Her love for Beck was equally as obsessive as Joe's, but you know what? She knew Beck longer and in addition to being a closeted lesbian, she struck me as borderline with some of her reactions to things, and that's GENUINELY relatable, not "teehee tv execs think this is relatable!"

- ANNIKA. Annika is the absolute best girl in season 1. I adore her and I'm glad she survived. I wish we'd seen more of her because omg her personality was absolutely perfect.

- Sunrise, completely adorable, sweet, and supportive.

- Ellie's a kid, but for the most part she had her shit handled. Her bratty teenage moments were entirely realistic and didn't detract from her characterization at all.

- like I said, I adored Love at first... until she started treating Joe like everything he did was wrong.

- trying to think of any girls I liked from season 3 and coming up completely blank. I did enjoy a few of the male characters and one of the actors who plays my favorite Canon Love Interest in another show was in it. Season 3 Marienne was pretty meh, but I don't think I hated her or anything.

- in season 4 OH MY GOODNESS Phoebe! Phoebe is everything! I'm SO GLAD she survived!!!

- Nadia was okay. She's so close to Ellie's age that the way Joe treated her was pretty shocking to me 😕 I guess once they're 18+ they're fair game.

- And like I said, Marienne won major points with me for her strength and resilience.

Anyway this has been my late night/early morning rant about why Beck made terrible decisions. And again let me stress - I don't think she DESERVED to be tortured or exterminatus'd. I do, however, think Joe's reactions to her behavior were 100% realistic.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 295: So How Are You Holding Up (Because I’m a Potato)

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi randomly and graciously decided to answer all of our long-standing questions about Mr. Compress, including “is he secretly hot,” “is he secretly related to that Robin Hood thief guy,” and “is he ever going to use his quirk to chain chomp a hole right through his ass??” with the answer to all three being “yes, of course.” As for our follow-up questions, “sir, is Mr. Compress going to die,” and “holy shit,” his answers were, respectively, “wait and see,” and, “I understand, really I do, but that isn’t actually a question.” Well, he’s got us there.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi finally ends the War arc with the speed and grace of an overworked college student scrambling to BS their entire midterm essay with five minutes left before the deadline. Deku’s Spidey Sense is all “what up, I exist, p.s. you’re in danger kid” like oh shit, no, you think?? Compress is all “I’m not gonna die but I am going to pass out and be captured” and honestly, at this point I’ll take it. Spinner is all “Tomura you can have this one last Souvenir Hand I found that was in the oven for too long” and slaps it on his face because HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, SHUT UP. Dabi is all, “[currently in a marble].”Tomura is all “actually, I’m AFO.” AFO is all “hahahahaha” and summons all of the remaining Noumus to cart him and Spinner and Dabi off to safety. Deku is all “DAMMIT TOMURA I’M REALLY MAD AT YOU FOR KILLING, AND I QUOTE, ‘AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE’, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, GET THIS, I TOTALLY WANT TO SAVE YOU TOO! LMAO ISN’T THAT WILD.” Fandom is all “OH MY GOD, NO WAY, is what we would say if we had literally never met Deku before, I guess.” And then the arc just ends, lol. See you in the new year, kids.

WAKE UP, LINK... I MEAN, DEKU

jesus christ Vestiges, not a one of you guys has got any chill at ALL. LISTEN TO ME. THIS CHILD IS DEAD. HE IS DECEASED. LOOK AT HIM. HE’S LYING THERE ALL DAZED WITH HIS ARMS AND LEGS TURNED INTO GREEN PUDDING AND YOU’RE ALL “GET UP LAZYBONES” LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD. CAN HE JUST REST?? CAN YOU ALL JUST CALL IT A DRAW WITH THE VILLAINS ALREADY SO WE CAN FINALLY END THIS TRAUMATIC ARC AND MOVE ON TO THE NEW “TRIAGE AND ROBOT LIMBS FOR EVERYBODY” ARC INSTEAD

LIE BACK DOWN YOU IDIOT!!

no you didn’t pass out because of a ~heatwave~, you passed out because he set you on fire while you were out here shooting Blackwhip out of your mouth with your SPINDLY ACCORDION LIMBS dangling uselessly from you like WINDCHIMES you RIDICULOUS BOY

“where’s Todoroki-kun” oh shiiiiiiit. right. god I hope someone caught him. BAKUGOU OWES HIM A FAVOR, HOW ‘BOUT IT

OH NEVER MIND HE APPARENTLY CAUGHT HIMSELF??

Todoroki Shouto has really highkey been the MVP of the entire fourth quarter of this arc. he deserves the world, and odds are all Horikoshi’s going to give him are lasting trauma, and a souvenir shirt that says “I survived this stupid arc and all I got was this t-shirt”

anyway now Deku’s being hit by a Lightning Bolt of Realization or some such? idk what’s going on, but I bet you it’s related to Tomura waking up again

OH SHIT??

LOL WHAT. THAT’S IT?? SPIDEY-SENSE?? I mean we all predicted Spidey-Sense being one of his quirks like ages ago, so Well Done, Us, I guess

but also, seriously?? all of that drama and intrigue about the fourth user’s quirk and this is what we end up with? what was All Might being so cagey about then? how did this dude die? I need answers goddammit. new, better answers lol

maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Deku keeps talking about how his head hurts?

I mean, for Deku of all people to be all “ouch that hurts”, it must really fucking hurt, you know? like oh my god Deku are you dying

lmao and SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO APPARENTLY DON’T FEEL PAIN

this man is out here FROLICKING, half-naked and half-torsoed, AND STILL FEVERISHLY RATTLING OFF HIS MONOLGOUE. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN ESCAPED YET YOU DINGUS. did watching Dabi pour bleach over his head inspire you to think of interesting new ways you could abuse your own body for the sake of Theatrics?? why are villains Like This

anyway so now Mirio’s punching him, because what else are you even supposed to do in this situation

I read this speech bubble three times in a row very carefully this time around just to make sure I was reading the words right. and then looked for a T/L note below. and there was none. whatever RHA, at least you all are out here enjoying yourselves

wait what?

I guess he hasn’t woken up yet after all?? so then wtf is Deku’s Spidey Sense getting all worked up about. I mean to be fair there’s danger all around them still so having a Spidey Sense in this kind of situation is kind of like bringing a smoke alarm to a BBQ

now what

wait did he put them back in the marble?? or is that panel just meant to show us how they were in the marble earlier?? Horikoshi please make this less confusing, I’m already having trouble staying focused as it is. and on top of everything else Compress is cascading blood like Niagara Falls right now and I’m starting to wonder if you really are going to kill him off

anyway so Mirio is still in mid-punch, and now he’s reaching out to punch Spinner with his other hand. heh. Mirio please be careful Tomura is right there, and I swear to god Horikoshi IF HE LAYS A HAND ON HIS SWIRLY BLOND HEAD SO HELP ME I WILL MAIL YOU A VIAL OF MY TEARS

okay seriously what the hell is happening

when you attach?? everyone?? to your body?? whose body?? who is this??

oh wait okay it’s a flashback to Tomura talking about his Hands

lmao this is so disjointed, I can’t tell what’s a flashback and what isn’t and whose thoughts these are lmao I give up. I’m just going to fire up a bunch of question marks until this starts making some goddamn sense. ???????

??????

????????

-- !!!!!!!!!!!

okay hold up. so did Spinner just slap Tomura’s last remaining Signature Fashion Hand onto his face just now for absolutely no reason?? is that what’s going on?? and fuck me but it actually worked too, lmao. is your buddy unconscious and unresponsive to stimuli?? no problem, just slap ‘em in the face with a burnt and shriveled severed hand. works every time

p.s. I SWEAR TO GOD HORIKOSHI. IF YOU TOUCH MIRIO!!! HE’S A GOOD BOY LEAVE HIM ALONE

??????????

OKAY WELL. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WTF IS HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST MIRIO’S NOT DEAD. KACCHAN GOT BLOWN AWAY THOUGH SOB. HOW IRONIC THAT THE GOD OF EXPLOSION MURDERS WOULD BE MURDERED BY AN EXPLOSION WHILE I WAS BUSY SAYING “OH MY GOD”

ohhhhhh, okay. so this is AFO’s narration

and that’s a partial answer to the question of “why did AFO bother raising Tomura up as his heir if he was planning on taking over his body the whole time.” apparently it makes it easier to control him. joy :’)

also this image of a potato wearing a Tomura wig is sending me fjkllkhl

oh my god he summoned all the Noumu to him like Aquaman and his sea creatures. this whole situation just keeps on getting better

-- oh hell no. oh fuck me, fucking shit

SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’M SORRY SPINNER, TOMURA CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

oh my god. I fucking hate everything right now oh my god

I GUESS WE FIGURED OUT WHAT DEKU’S SPIDEY SENSE WAS WARNING HIM ABOUT, THEN ಠ_ಠ

fucking great!! so I guess nobody is getting a happy ending today, then. the heroes got their asses handed to them (sorry Compress, it’s a figure of speech, didn’t mean to be disrespectful); Deku and Kacchan died; Shouto’s evil brother came back from the dead to ruin his life; everyone and their dog lost various limbs; and the villains have now lost Twice (dead), Compress and Machia (presumably going to be captured), and now their fearless leader’s body has been completely taken over by AFO, which is such an unsexy development that it managed to completely undo all of the Mr. Compress Sexiness from last week. goddamn it

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO END IT LIKE THIS

up close Hadou’s face is looking pretty rough. :/ that’s going to scar over isn’t it. at least she’ll look like a badass

meanwhile I appreciate that Horikoshi drew what looks to be a little puff of air next to Kacchan’s mouth, just to reassure us all that he’s not actually dead. that’s fine. you just lie there then. also his wound really is in the exact same place as All Might’s and it’s giving me all kinds of feels you guys but whatever I’m not gonna sit here dwelling on it all day

AND POOR SHOUTO. IS HE STILL CRYING OMG. AND ENDEAVOR, WAY TO DO NOTHING STILL. THE ALL TIME CHAMP OF SITTING AROUND AND STARING, GOOD FOR YOU

ARE YOU FOR REAL, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

(－‸ლ)

lol

“peace out, loser.” “SHUT YOUR TRAP, HO.” quality encounter right here

anyway so he’s blasting Deku with something and Deku’s just flying back all unconscious-like. so then, what even was the point of all that, huh

oh I see, it was to lead us into one last Deku monologue to close this arc out

oh my god Deku if you say you’re going to save him I will turn around and do a cannonball into a ballpit of feels right now, don’t do this to me

OH SNAP I THINK HE’S GONNA THOUGH

DID HE LOOK LIKE HE NEEDED SAVING?? I MUST CONFESS YOU AND I ARE OF A MIND HERE, YOUNG BROCCOLI. YES IN SPITE OF ALL THE MURDERS. WHAT CAN I SAY IT’S COMPLICATED

by the way I just have to point out here, that after all of those impossibly pretty close-ups of Hawks’s unconscious face, Horikoshi really did my child dirty here lmao

he looks like a squished cockroach. THAT’S MY BABY BOY

and it looks like the cavalry is finally on its way too! took them long enough. so I guess they can take care of any of the remaining Noumu stragglers, but first let Deku finish his speech. listen up Deku I really need you to say something cool and iconic to cap off this thus-far admittedly underwhelming Last Chapter Of The Year, here

AHHHHHHH YES HE REALLY DID IT HE SAID THE THING

well he thought the thing, anyway. close enough. I’ll take it!

so this is really the end of the arc then! or at least I hope, good lord. anyways, all right then so let’s do a quick status check:

it looks like the Noumu are hauling Tomura and Spinner away to safety, but it doesn’t look like they managed to save Machia or Compress. this honestly might be in Compress’s best interests though. the heroes can get him some medical help along with Kacchan and Endeavor and everyone else

Dabi is apparently hidden inside Spinner’s scarf, but do they have any way of releasing him without Compress there to undo the quirk? will he be all right in there. like how is he going to get food and water and air and stuff lol. does it wear off after a bit? can Compress undo it when he wakes up, even if he’s in custody? is there a distance limit on it?

and Skeptic was presumably turned into a marble as well, but Compress didn’t bother mentioning him at all. nobody cares about poor Skeptic lol

and bonus AFO theories status check:

Dad for One - AFO called Deku worthless and hasn’t seemed to take the least bit of interest in him despite getting to see his fancy SIXQUIRKS up close and personal. so if he is his dad he sure as heck is a terrible one, that’s all I can say

All for One for All/Deku is a horcrux - well the Spidey Sense seems to offer an alternative explanation to why Deku could sense AFO’s presence, but on the other hand it doesn’t explain why AFO was able to sense Deku’s as well (seeing his dreams and such). still thinking there’s a connection there, guys, idk

AFO is the final villain - five words for you: “EVERYTHING IS FOR MY SAKE.” is that concrete enough yet lol. pretty sure this arc marked both the beginning and end of Tomura’s brief stint as the Big Bad. Deku’s got it in his mind to save him now somehow, and we all know what happens when Deku starts getting determined to save people. look out AFO

as for the heroes, they’re all varying degrees of Fucked and I think it’s honestly too much to even take stock of at this point. maybe if I get a rush of hyperfixation in the next couple days or so I’ll do a separate post analyzing the impact of this arc and where things currently stand and where they might be headed from here

but in the meantime, ngl, this chapter was kind of a hot mess lmao. but whatever, I don’t even care because at least he managed to get all of it done within the allotted 17 pages, meaning that next week (or rather two weeks from now, sob) we really can get moving onto the aforementioned Triage arc! BRING ON THAT ANGST. I am so fucking hyped goddammit

[rintarous]

ayo we reached another milestone today and with that i shall celebrate by doing shit like this! corny but whatever!! anyway i just wanna thank you all for reading, going through, enjoying the shit i post out on the tl! i always have a lot of laughs whenever i open this godforsaken website cs all i do is talk shit lol. i’ll put out content soon again i swear. my brain is just dehydrated and needs some writing juice lol

to my mutuals, hi <3 teehee <3 some of us don’t rlly interact much let alone talk but hi!!! i’m jan !! HAHAHAHAHHA hope some of us interact/talk more <3 just know i’m just as chaotic as atsumu on the tl <3 talk shit but i dont get hit!! 

p.s i have some lil messages for certain people under the line break hehe

— jan ♡

@dorkyama @memetabolismm @agaassi @futabtchy @gogohaikyuu @shotobabe @kenchiko @ahegaobaku @daiseukis @wakaitoshi @tiny-giant @sushij1ma @inakou @caxsthetic @yusemis @sillawara @rosiewrite @the-black-birb @haikyuu-ink @babiedeku @bambisfuneral @jojosmilktea @iwaqchan @sunbeamwrites @kozumie @t-amajiki​

to: remy,

jesus fucking christ where do i fucking begin.. it was like we were destined to be mutuals cs literally, you are my bethie. my telefatty bethie and i’m so thankful for that. my tendou bestie mad dog chan senpai. the tendou to your mad dog. idk what the fuck were we thinking when we made that stupid shit up but holy fucking shit ! talking to you just makes my day cs u’re so funny literally the funniest person i know i die of laughter just talking to u and how u just listen to the stupid shit i say and WOW umm anyways... our jokes are superior (along with julia and cheese duh) ,, yeah i lov u a lot not that i’d admit that on the tl u better savor this piece of shit HAHAHAHAHAHAH love u rems u know that (or not) muah

to: juwia,

DUDE ANOTHER PERSON I DON’T REGRET MEETING ON THE TL... those goddamn stinky haru jokes are our legacy dude... we literally met because of him............. my god..... we’ve come a long way since,,, fkbu,, our favorite,,, is getting a third episode..... i really do enjoy your company juwia even if i lowkey clown the fuck out of u (read: lava girl sunbaenim; mineta tease) but ur also literally so funny and i lov u so much and the way u introduced KS to me and our shitty radio show (vibe-rodeo-radio) YOU FUCKING RAM RANCH SHIT JESUS CHRIST u made my quarantine more bearable like omg i love u so much i literally wait for ur responses cs theyre so fucking funny and the discord thing.. iconic cockqueenies for life yo...... HAHAHHA love u juwia!!! muah 

to: ate silla,

omg ate silla hi ! we’re dont rlly talk much cs i only interact via asks but i would die for u.... ur literally my dream ate and ur so fucking funny ur such an icon i want to be like you some day.... ur posts just *muah* chefs kiss.. they also make my damn day cs wow ur so funny bae ahahahahahha AAAAA love u ate silla !!!! 

to: jojo, 

JOJO HI 🙈 this is literally so fucking surreal to me cs you were literally one of my main inspirations to start my own anime blog.. i rmb going through ur shit unsure if i should make my own anime related writings and now look at us.. mutuals 🙈 we don’t rlly talk much too cs we only interact on the tl but i would rlly like us to talk more!! u’re literally so cute and ur presence on this website is really comforting and i would order a shit ton of milktea from ur milktea shop teehee LOVE YOU JOJO! MUAH 

to: sabrina,

SAAAAAAABBBBBB MY LIFE SAVER OMFG i fucking owe my life to u for teaching me how to gif my shit 🥺 literally made my quarantine less boring and shit holy fuck... you are the sweetest person ever i wish we talked more :( timezones are a bitch aren’t they HAHAHAHAHAA thank you for taking some time off your day to teach me shit 🥺 i love you bc of that 😔 my themes wouldnt slap as hard as it does now without you so i owe you for that 😭 anyway i hope we really do talk more !! LOVE YOU SABS !!! MUAH

to: ate yuki,

ATEEEE YUKIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i also owe u my fucking life for getting me photoshop and all the other adobe shit 🥺 super duper thankful ako sayo dahil doon ate 🥺 you are super duper talented too enge naman ng talent dyan achi :< HAHAHAHAHAHAH i really admire you and your talent in art ate yukie omg.. nakakatuwa rin if i see you interacting with me and shit hehe lalo na yung mga asks HAHAHAHAHA hope we talk more soon!!! 😚 love you ate yukie!!

once again, thank you all. 🥰  to more shitty™ content soon! 🥂

[thesvenqueen]

S&B Episode 6

- you're a horrible liar bro - um, excuse me, they are NOT his crew RUDE - buuuuuuuusted - NINA?!?! GIRL WHAT??????? - Hahaha oh heyyyyy - Oh Inej...Kaz bout to be fucking FURIOUS yo - Yikes Fedyor... - THEY KNOW OF MATTHIAS?!?!?! NOOOOO - Aw HELL YEAH GIVE ME MORE NINA & MATTHIAS CONTENT LETS GOOOOO - Matthias, get on the damn board and stfu - I mean, Zoya you are not wrong but also you in daaaanger girl just saying that hooooo boy - no the fuck you don't. more manipulation ughhhhh stooooop - DAMN ZOYA AND HIM HAD A THING?!?!?! SHEEEEEEEEEEEESH - ah, he manipulated her too my god dude - MAL!!!!!!! - take it offfffff TAKE IF OFFFFFFF - YEEEES - "You're just a man, like all the others" I BEG TO DIFFER THAT MAN IS FINE AS FUCK HELLO?!?!?! - HA I saw that lick of your lips Nina, HARD same - You're both fucking idiots my god - Yeahhhh you like her hehehe - .....well this argument is fun - "thanking you for finding me" "Always. I'll always find you" now KISS you fools - oh well, parents are fighting...again. fuck. - oooo love the slgith of hand yes yes - I mean...he has a point? - ooop.....yeah, so about the club >.> - "I'm sorry it took me this long to see you Alina. But I see you now" OH that's so SWEET. - HA Nina such a tease, I love you - "No it's natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet oh, there you stand" HAHA YESSSS I loved that line from the book - Awww Matthias' laugh is adorable I love it - oh...oh no - uhh...hey guys lmao nice to see y'all - Jesper vs Ivan..interesting - Jesper really playing with his food over here omg - "You're a--" yep, he is, you are completely right sir - Inej really said aight, bet, then you can die - KAZ VS DARKLING OH SHIT LETS GOOOOO - TELL HIM KAZ - AHHHHHHH KAZ OUTSMARTED THE DARKLING OH SHIIIT HAHAHAHA THATS MY BOY - Also where the fuck did you get that flash bomb Kaz >.> - Haha yep, he does not at all wanna like you Nina but he already does - AHHHH TOLD YOU SO - THE TEASING I CAN NOT - And here is where the dynamic completely changes and ohhhh my shipper heart - THE INTRODUCTION I CAN NOT FUCK. IMMA BURST - He put the fucking coat around her, I CAN NOT IMMA DIE NOW BYE - bruh, the struggle on Kaz' face to help Inej but knowing he literally is unable to just UGH KILL ME - Oh Kaz big mad, so we gonna steal the Darkling's carriage hahaha love it. He looks so incredibly mad too, don't hurt his..investments lmao - DAVID HAHAHAHAHA I fucking love you you precious bean I swear to god - Noooot the name sliiiiip - nah we know you jealous Mal lol - oop, he knows. that's not good Ok, I know people complained about envisioned Nina to be different than what Danielle but I have to say, she is killing this role and is a FANTASTIC Nina. Also, seeing someone that look similar to my body type just..makes me so happy. Again, I know representation matters and I completely agree and understand people's annoyance/anger towards the depiction of Nina here but for me, personally, I love it and love Danielle completely. And Matthias, my main stupid lump of muscle, keep doing you cause D A M N. Seeing how Kaz is making rash decisions is not so out of character as, again, he is younger here than in the books so him putting the crow club up as collateral for Inej makes sense. Could be how, in the future, after this adventure he ends up working for Haskell. I do love them working out the kinks of their crew though, learnign to trust the other and that though they believe in other things, doesn't mean they can't work together. Though, I will say, Kaz had a slight point that this job may not have been the best one for Inej if she was going to let her faith lead the way. complicatedddddd. The reunion between Mal and Alina was FAR MORE satisfying than in the books because we've seen BOTH of their journeys to get there, one that was finally set directly towards the other while another was pulled askew but led back in the right direction again. It's more wholsome, satisfying in a sense than it was when reading it as you get a full sense of what both of them are doing, especially Mal. The

realization as well from the Darkling that Alina RAN, Ben depicts him brilliantly. I still hate him SO much as he manipulates everyone around him to gain what he wants, including Zoya which poor thing, but I have to say Ben is kiiiiiilling it for sure.

The casting, seriously, is absolutely perfect for everyone. Which is incredibly rare for book addaptations but fr, they nailed it here.

[solcheeky]

break a leg arm

summary: mark breaks his arm and a cast is all he needs as an excuse to get you to do everything for him

warnings: mature content insinuated, strong language

a/n: I literally went thru a heck load of his tweets to see what he was like through text lmfao also this is a remake! insp from sheep

-

[1 Missed Call] broccoli johnny 8:56PM

[New Message] from broccoli johnny 9:00PM, hey

[broccoli johnny] 9:00PM, I know its kind of late but

[broccoli johnny] 9:01PM, mark’s in the ER right now, you busy?

[you] 9:05PM, wtf

[you] 9:05PM, where

[you] 9:05PM, why

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, nothing serious dw

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, we’re in seoul national

[you] 9:07PM, okay im coming

[broccoli johnny] 9:07PM, mind coming over?

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, oh

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, lol cool cool

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, just text me when you get here :-)

[you] 9:34PM, I’m here where are you?

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, hold on

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, jae cant get his drink out of the vending machine

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, we’ll meet u in the lobby in a sec

[you] 9:36PM, jaehyun you are a grown man

[broccoli johnny] 9:36PM, jae said hes not going to share his drink with you now

-

[New Message] from lioncub 11:45PM, Sorry for making you worry haha and thank you for coming over so fast

[lioncub] 11:45PM, You home ssfe yet?

[lioncub] 11:45PM, *Safe

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Damn this whole cast on my arm thing is really getting in the way haha

[you] 11:46PM, always<3 and yea I am :) you?

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Yeah, everyone’s in bed. Johnjae’s about to leave

[you] 11:46PM, nice

[you] 11:47PM, tell jaehyun that I hope he falls over

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Woah hahahaha

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Is this because he didn’t share his drink with you?

[you] 11:48PM, it was the last one left >:( and the traitor drank it all >:((

[lioncub] 11:50PM, Haha

[you] 11:50PM, >:(

[lioncub] 11:51PM, You’re so cute 

[you] 11:51PM, wow you type so slow

[lioncub] 11:51PM, I brokr my ar, !!!

[you] 11:51PM, yikes

[lioncub] 11:52PM, Dude dp you want me to type fast or not?

[you] 11:52PM, you’ll make mistakes either way👀

[lioncub] 11:52PM, *Do

[lioncub] 11:53PM, Hahaha very funny lool

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Come on babr

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Basbr 

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Babve

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Damn. *babe

[you] 11:54PM, just. don’t text me anymore . 

[lioncub] 11:55PM, Wait what !!!!!

[lioncub] 11:55PM, But my cast wont br off for weeks!!

[lioncub] 11:56PM, Babe !

[lioncub] 11:56PM, D: !!

[you] 11:56PM, I meant that like..... ‘call me’ you dummy

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oh

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oops 

[Incoming Call] lioncub 11:58PM

-

[New Message] from marks arm 1:12PM, They left me at home :/

[marks arm] 1:12PM, All alone

[marks arm] 1:13PM, And I’m bored :/

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Bee

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Oh

[marks arm] 1:14PM, Are

[marks arm] 1:14PM, D

[marks arm] 1:14PM, b o r e d

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe?

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Ba b e

[Missed Video Call] marks arm 1:17PM

[you] 1:21PM, oh shit sory just came out yhe shower

[marks arm] 1:22PM, Oh lool sorry

[marks arm] 1:22PM, You going out somewhere?

[marks arm] 1:23PM, OH are you coming over? :0

[you] 1:23PM, huh? no

[you] 1:23PM, lmfao gotta go to the supermarket

[marks arm] 1:24PM, Is that code for my dorm?

[you] 1:24PM, uh

[you] 1:24PM, what

[marks arm] 1:25PM, Super-MARK-et

[marks arm] 1:25PM, 😏😏😏 

[you] 1:25PM, …………

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Dude. You can’t tell me that wanst funny

[you] 1:26PM, …………………… 

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Comn on man. That was pretty funny!!!

[marks arm] 1:27PM, *Wasn’t *Come

[marks arm] 1:27PM, 😏😏😏 ???

[you] 1:27PM, I’m not coming over just because you made a ‘good’ joke

[marks arm] 1:28PM, Hahahahaha! babe please!!

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I’m so fucking bored~

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I have thid dumbass cast on now and the boys wont be back till waaayy later

[marks arm] 1:29PM, *This

[marks arm] 1:30PM, It’s not like I can take the cast off. But you can keep me company!!

[marks arm] 1:30PM, Pretty please🥺

[you] 1:30PM, but I gotta go shop D:

[marks arm] 1:31PM, Oh right. yeah lol

[marks arm] 1:31PM, but you can come over after?😏

[you] 1:31PM, hmmmmmm

[marks arm] 1:32PM, No one’s home😏 and

[marks arm]1:32PM, and Iwanttohugyou

[marks arm] 1:33PM, Plus I promise I won’t hug you with my casr haha

[marks arm] 1:33PM, *Cast

[you] 1:33PM, cute

[marks arm] 1:34PM, Did.. Did you not just hear what I said?

[marks arm] 1:34PM, No one’s home !!!

[you] 1:35PM, fine :[

[you] 1:35PM, but after I shop :>

[marks arm] 1:36PM, Alright nice haha. After you shop. Got it !

[New Message] from marks arm 1:45PM, Can you get me snacks??

[marks arm] 1:49PM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!

-

[you] 8:03PM, can’t believe I bought you snacks for that

[marks arm] 8:04PM, It was the cast!! I swear !!

[marks arm] 8:04PM, You weren’t the only one uncomfortable >:( I can’t hold myself up over you when my arm is broken lool

[you] 8:05PM, I’m taking your lap next time🙄

[marks arm] 8:05PM, Oh woah

[you] 8:06PM, ‘woah’ what?

[marks arm] 8:06PM, :0

[marks arm] 8:06PM, Woah nothing. Hahahaha

[you] 8:06PM, okay well,,, save your lap for me next time

[marks arm] 8:07PM, lol okay

[marks arm] 8:07PM, Next time.

[marks arm] 8:07PM, I like that

-

[New Message] from marker 2:20AM, You awake?

[you] 2:21AM, no

[marker] 2:21AM, Oh okay nevermind then

[you] 2:22AM, …

[you] 2:22AM, uh mark

[marker] 2:23AM, Wait a minute

[you] 2:23AM, there we go😂😂

[marker] 2:23AM, ;/

[you] 2:23AM, LOL whats up? its 2am🤔dont you have to go studio in the morning🤔

[marker] 2:24AM, Yeah :/ but my arm hurts ;/

[you] 2:24AM, badly?

[marker] 2:25AM, Mhm :(

[marker] 2:25AM, I cant sleep :(( it hurts :/ like actually really hurts

[you] 2:25AM, lemme get back to you in 7 years after I get my doctors licence

[marker] 2:26AM, Hahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:26AM, Can you get back to me in 3secs as my bestfriend instead?

[you] 2:26AM, touché

[marker] 2:26AM, Haha

[marker] 2:27AM, Let me video call you?

[you] 2:27AM, doyoung is asleep though

[marker] 2:27AM, Yeaahh

[marker] 2:28AM, But I wantf to see you :(

[you] 2:28AM, you saw me today ?

[marker] 2:28AM, It wasnt enough :(

[you] 2:29AM, are you okay??

[marker] 2:29AM, Yeah! I am! I just

[marker] 2:29AM, idk

[marker] 2:29AM, Seeing you makesd me feel better

[you] 2:29AM, cute

[marker] 2:29AM, Shutup man

[marker] 2:30AM, Just let me call youuu

[you] 2:30AM, hm

[you] 2:31AM, fine

[you] 2:31AM, this is my way of making up for my lack of a doctors licence

[marker] 2:31AM, hahahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:31AM, I’m gonna wake up doyoung laughing like this

[you] 2:32AM, lmao pls dont blame me when he whoops your ass in the morning

[marker] 2:32AM, I wont :)

[Incoming Call] marks arm 2:33AM

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[doyoung]: Mark looks like a sardine that was left to dry out in the sun for 12 days

[marker]: Hey man

[marker]: Thats just mean

[fullsun]: not mean, just the truth💅🏼

[doyoung]: It’s because he was up all night talking to you know who👀

[mr peach]: exposed

[you]: mark you said doyoung was a heavy sleeper

[doyoung]: He lied.

[marker]: We werent that loud man

[nakamoto]: I could hear mark from my bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: *our bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: and no we couldn’t

[nakamoto]: I did👀

[broccolli johnny]: all yuta does is lie lmfao

[marker]: How??!!?

[marker]: Your bedroom is upstairs!!!

[junguwu]: ? I couldnt hear them ??? and I’m next door

[nakamoto]: if I was upstairs then explain to me how I heard y/n complaining about how mark farts too much🤔🤔🤔

[marker]: Oh my god

[broccoli johnny]: LMFAAAOO

[junguwu]: HAHAH HAHAHAHAH

[mr peach]: this again LOL

[you]: I still can’t believe they let you talk about marks farts in your tmi vids

[oldman]: 😂😂😂😂😂oh no

[fullsun]: the dried sardine has got some explaining to do👀

[marker]: Dude its not true!!! I swear !!!!!!

[you]: a little bit true

[doyoung]: ✋also a witness

[marker]: >:0

[marker]: Fucking betrayers!!!!!!!

[marker]: Johnny tell them its not true !!!

[broccoli johnny]: my hands are tied bro🤗

[marker]: whAT

[marker]: Jaehyun?!

[mr peach]: its not true.

[doyoung]: Way to sound believable🙄

[nakamoto]: word on the street y/n is tired of mark never saying sorry or excusing himself from farting🤧

[marker]: You guys are just big bullies man

[marker]: Sicheng man you’re the only one I have left😭

[let’s winwin!]: lol no

[fullsun]: yuta may be lying about hearing yall last night but👀

[fullsun]: the fart thing is true👀

[nakamoto]: i rest my case

[broccoli johnny]: one day mark is gonna fart and it’ll poison you all

[nakamoto]: I heard hes poisoned a couple of people already🧐

[marker]: DUDE

-

[New Message] from mark LEE 10:11AM, Hey can I ask you something?

[you] 10:12AM, sure whats up?

[you] 10:12AM, you okay?

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, So um ;//

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, My farts dont annoy you do they?

[you] 10:14AM, LOL mARK

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, What ?! what!!!!

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, I’m serious!!!

[you] 10:15AM, its been like 3 days since that conversation

[mark LEE] 10:15AM, And I havent been able to fart in front of you since!!

[you] 10:15AM, LMAAOOO MARKKKK

[mark LEE] 10:16AM, Babe I’m deadass!!!

[you] 10:16AM, yuta was just joking stupid

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, :/

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, I know

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, But

[you] 10:18AM, but?

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, I fart

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, like

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, a lot

[you] 10:19AM, omg mark

[you] 10:19AM, it doesnt matter!! I think its cute

[mark LEE] 10:19AM, What?!

[you] 10:19AM, when you fart youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you sneeze youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you talk youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, even when you just breathe youre fucking cute

[you] 10:20AM, I dont care about your farts

[mark LEE] 10:21AM, You’re weird

[you] 10:21AM, ask the groupchat if you dont believe me

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[marker]: Anyways guys

[junguwu]: ya

[marker]: Am I cute?

[fullsun]: no

-

[New Message] from cute idiot 9:37PM, Where are you?

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, Babe

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, The bath is gonna get cold man

[you] 9:40PM, we got a problem

[cute idiot] 9:40PM, What? No lighter? Not even matchsticks?

[you] 9:40PM, johnjae are here

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, !???!?!?!?!!!

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, whAT

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Like in the dorm here?!?!??

[you] 9:41PM, yea you dummy

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Shit whAT

[you] 9:42PM, wtf happened to ‘no one is coming home till late today’ !???!!

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I DIDNT KNOW I SWEAR OMG

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, wHAT DID U SAY TO THEM

[you] 9:43PM, I look like a psycho mark

[cute idiot] 9:43PM, tHATS WHAT YOU SAID?

[you] 9:43PM, nO

[you] 9:44PM, they caught me… in the kitchen…. going through the drawers

[you] 9:44PM, with just your tshirt on…

[you] 9:44PM, my hair is wet af mark

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, oh god

[you] 9:45PM, how was i supposed to explain myself ?!

[you] 9:45PM, tell them my hair is wet because I just climbed out of the bath i was sharing with their roommate ?!!?

[you] 9:45PM, tell them i needed something to light the candles beside the fucking bubble bath ?!??

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, Shit shit shit

[you] 9:46PM, and all because you couldnt get out of the tub without injuring your broken-arm ??!

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my gof

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Please tell me that is not what you said

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, This is so embarrassing

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Dude

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Why arnet you answering?!?!

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, What the fuc do I do

[you] 9:48PM, hold on theyre talking to me

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, I’m freakinghout

[you] 9:48PM, apparently theyre back early because they need to go prerecord nct nightnight

[you] 9:48PM, johnny needed to pick something up on the way

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Oh god

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Whdt do I do?!

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Do I getr out!?

[you] 9:49PM, told them you were showering

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Okay I’m turning on the shower

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, You know

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, For soubnd effects

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit man shitr

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wait

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wb you?!

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, You didn’t dry yourself. Dude you didn’t even bring a towel

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, Hwo you gonna explain

[you] 9:51PM, told them your dumbass slipped

[you] 9:51PM, and I had to help you because of your arm

[you] 9:51PM, wait brb

[cute idiot] 9:51PM, Nooo dont brb me

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, I feel exposed now

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the worst

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the WORST 

[cute idiot] 9:53PM, Babe?

[you] 9:57PM, okay theyre gone😪😪

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Thank god

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Did they believe you?

[you] 9:58PM, I fucking hope so

[you] 9:58PM, I’m coming back

[cute idiot] 9:58PM, Be quick ;/ I kinda made a mess

-

[[foreign swaggers💯💯💯]]

[sexy boi ten]: just out of curiosity🧐

[sexy boi ten]: who here loves bubble baths?

[johns banana]: hmmmmmm idk man🤔 good question🤔

[jeffrey]: 😂😂😂

[kark]: Oh my god

[sexy boi ten]: I think one of us is a bubble bath enthusiast

[sexy boi ten]: but I just cant put my finger on it🧐

[kark]: Can’t believe you told ten

[johns banana]: told him what🤔🤔

[kark]: Don’t lie to me bro

[sexy boi ten]: i think youre the only one lying here

[kark]: 😨😨😨

[kark]: Jaehyun please help me

[jeffrey]: I heard there were candles

[kark]: 😧

[johns banana]: candles ?! 🤔 oh gasp🤧

[sexy boi ten]: so this is what you get up to when no ones around

[kark]: hahahaha noooo

[kark]: youre making it sound super weird man !!

[jeffrey]: lmfaaooo

[sexy boi ten]: this whole broken limb thing doesnt seem so bad now

[kark]: we didnt /do/ anything

[sexy boi ten]: why?😏 were you supposed have done something? 😏😏

[kark]: hahaha oh my god

[johns banana]: what are you tryna say mark🤗

[kark]: dude !!!!!!!

[kark]: youre all making this way weirder than it already is man

[jeffrey]: arent you the one making it weird?

[sexy boi ten]: johnny break my arm so i can get a bubble bath

[johns banana]: you dont have a girlfriend

[sexy boi ten]: i know

[sexy boi ten]: but i could have a boyfriend

[jeffrey]: you dont have a boyfriend either

[sexy boi ten]: then can you run me a bubble bath instead😘😘😘😘

[kark]: what

[johns banana]: depends… do I get to join

[kark]: wHAT

[johns banana]: I’ll be the mark to your y/n

[jeffrey]: this is going in my TMI

-

[New Message] from marks arm 4:15PM, They keep teasing me about the bath thing

[you] 4:15PM, so no more baths together?

[marks arm] 4:16PM, I didn’t say that........

-

[New Message] from bunny doyoung 6:47PM, Change of plans

[bunny doyoung] 6:47PM, He’s already on the way to yours

[you] 6:48PM, what?!

[you] 6:48PM, I was about to leave

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Sorry I couldnt stop him

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Said there’s too many of us in the dorm at the moment lmao

[bunny doyoung] 6:50PM, He’s such a kid

[you] 6:50PM, ffs mark

[you] 6:51PM, thanks do

[bunny doyoung] 6:51PM, Of course

-

[you] 6:53PM, mark wth

[you] 6:53PM, doyoung said youre coming here

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, Sorry baby

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, It’s way too hectic back there

[you] 6:56PM, you know I dont mind

[marks eggs] 6:56PM, I do this time

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I want alone time with you

[you] 6:57PM, but I made food for the boys

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I’ll eat it all :)

[you] 6:58PM, marrrrrkk

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Too late I’m outside

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Open up

-

[New Message] ty track 1:00AM, He’s not coming back tonight is he?

[you] 1:01AM, defo not

[you] 1:01AM, hes asleep on my lap atm

[ty track] 1:02AM, Sigh

[ty track] 1:02AM, Fine, make sure he wakes up early

[ty track] 1:03AM, He has to be back by 7am, we have a shoot in the morning

[you] 1:03AM, okay sure thing

[ty track] 1:03AM, Get some rest too

[you] 1:04AM, thanks tae you too💚

[ty track] 1:04AM, Goodnight💚

[you] 1:05AM, night :)

-

[[dreamies but not rlly]]

[pudu]: what time did you say you were going to come over again?

[you]: before 10 why?

[pudu]: because marks trying to break up renjun and jaemin from wrestling

[pudu]: with one arm

[jenojam]: is that what all that yelling is?

[you]: hyuck

[you]: why are you texting me when you can help him out

[pudu]: y/n thats a dumb question and you know it

[dolphinle]: such a dumb question

[you]: why arent any of you doing anything????????

[pudu]: why dont you just come over sooner ^^

[you]: hyuck I cant I’m running errands atm

[dolphinle]: see y/n is running errands hyung

[you]: thanks chenle

[pudu]: shutup chenle

[you]: wheres jisung

[jisung park]: staying out of the mess

[you]: good.

[you]: one less dreamie to worry about

[jisung park]: youre welcome

[pudu]: okay they stopped play fighting :/

[jenojam]: because mark says his arm hurts

[you]: you guys are the worst

[pudu]: *best

[moomin]: you guys are snitches

[dolphinle]: and snitches get stitches

[jaemin<3]: renjun broke my neck

[moomin]: did not

[moomin]: your stupid neck happened to fall into my hands

[pudu]: LMAOO

[jaemin<3]: :0 can u believe this

[you]: is mark okay?

[jenojam]: no

[mark sucks]: Yes

[mark sucks]: hahahaha just carry on with your errands and come at 10 I have this unser contrl

[mark sucks]: *Under

[mark sucks]: *Control

[pudu]: HAHA what lies

[jisung park]: hyung doesnt have anything under control

[jaemin<3]: youre not going to ask if I’m okay? :(

[moomin]:  jaemin ur still breathing right?

[moomin]: yea thats what I thought

[dolphinle]: ye thats what he thought

[jaemin<3]: I didnt even say anything yet!!

[pudu]: LMFAAOO

[you]: jeno help

[jenojam]: je-no thank you

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[tytrack]: well then who was it?

[nakamoto]: I think johnny was the last one to use the vacuum

[marker]: Babe can you pick up a box on the way ;/ we ranm out lastr night

[nakamoto]: .................

[fullsun]: well okay. this was fun. g2g. forever. ✌️✌️✌️

[doyoung]: Only mark would do this.

[nakamoto]: 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[doyoung]: Seriously only mark.

[marker]: Shit!!!

[marker]: Fucvbk man

[you]: wrong chat you fat loser

-

[canada mark] 7:00PM, Shit baby I’m so soryr

[you] 7:00PM, you’re the biggest dummy😂😂😂

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[junguwu]: a box of what?

[tytrack]: what the fuck mark

[junguwu]: oh

[marker]: Dude I didn’t mean to!!! 

[broccoli johnny]: this is why he left the dorm so quick lmfao

[marker]: Baby I’m so so so sorry I’ll make it up for you tonight

[junguwu]: :0

-

[you] 7:05PM, wRONG CHAT AGAIN STUPID

[canada mark] 7:05PM, FCUK

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[nakamoto]: jc mark🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[fullsun]: can we push the gc name into full gear now?

[fullsun]: it’s no longer a joke. 

[marker]: IM IN SO MANY GROUPCHATS ITS HARD OKAY

-

[you] 7:07PM, you’re lucky you have a broken arm or else 

[canada mark] 7:08PM, Dude I’m so sorry. Like really.

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I was rushing in case you left the store already ;/ sorry :(

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I’ll do whatever you want ! promise.

[you] 7:09PM, you can barely do anything with that broken arm stupid

[you] 7:09PM, its okay😂 

[canada mark] 7:09PM, Really?

[you] 7:10PM, lets just say you owe me one 

‘you changed [canada mark] to [stupid mark]’

[stupid mark] 7:11PM, Yeah okay. I deserve that one.

- 

[New Message] from stupid mark 7:24AM, Can I call you?

[stupid mark] 7:24AM, I seriously hate texting ;/

[you] 7:25AM, is it because of the wrong groupchat thing or your cast?

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, ......both lol

[you] 7:25AM, okay but I’m in bed bby its so early

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Perfect!! then you don’t have to move ! 

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Just close your eyes and talk to me :^)

[you] 7:26AM, you can talk to everyone else whos awake :^)

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Everyones getting their hair done and stuff

[stupid mark] 7:26AM, And I’m handicapped let me call you.

[you] 7:26AM, wooooow ‘handicapped’ you can’t text me

[Incoming Video Call] stupid mark 7:26PM

[stupid mark] 7:2APM, Pick up!! please!!

- 

[New Message] from sore loser 11:20PM, :((((

[you] 11:21PM, mark? 

[you] 11:21PM, whats wrong?

[sore loser] 11:22PM, Do you want to come with me to the doctors get my cast off tomorrow? 

[you] 11:22PM, huh????

[you] 11:22PM, I mean yeah sure but

[you] 11:22PM, whats with the sad face?

[sore loser] 11:23PM, No! I’m happy! but sad ;/

[sore loser] 11:23PM, I get to be on stage again but ;( I can’t play damsel in distress anymore haha

[sore loser] 11:23PM, If I call you over, you’ll still come right?

[you] 11:24PM, depends.........

[sore loser] 11:24PM, See!! 

[you] 11:24PM, I’m just kidding lmao

[sore loser] 11:24PM, Oh

[sore loser] 11:24PM, So... You’ll still shampoo my hair sometimes? ;/ or like sit on my lap,,and stuff ;/// ??

[you] 11:25PM, you know I’ll do all those things regardless whether your arm is broken or not

[sore loser] 11:25PM, You’re the best 

[you] 11:25PM, plus you still owe me one :^)

[sore loser] 11:25PM, Oh yeah! I do !!

‘you changed [sore loser] to [<3]’

[<3] 11:26PM, Hahaha cute

[<3] 11:26PM, Okay :))))

[<3] 11:26PM, I’ll give you what I owe you tomorrow after we go doctors ;) <3

[you] 11:27PM, perfect

[<3] 11:27PM, Yeah, perfect :))

-

[New Message] from <3 9:34AM, Yeah, oops. Not so perfect..... omg I’m sorry

[you] 9:34AM, yeah your arm is like jelly its weird

[<3] 9:34AM, Hahahahaha

[<3] 9:34AM, In three weeks then?

[New Message] from <3 9:36AM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!!!!!!

[You are Video Calling <3 ...] 9:36AM

[cassandras-nest]

.Invisible man.

So here we are, the first chapter is here (and i’m terrified..)

disclaimer 1: english isn’t my first language, so i apologize for any mistake

disclaimer 2: this fic uses references to the very first internet service, chatrooms & all, i was 20 back then and there were no smartphones yet.

disclaimer 3: Deakster:John CoolCat:Cassandra

pairing: 00s John Deacon x OC Cassandra

warnings: brief mention of divorce and paranoia. Age-gap (20/50), extremely slow burn, very angst, probably sweet at very end (multichapter)

thanks @binkyisonline for everything, without her i wouldn’t be here, writing silly things

summary: Newly divorced John Deacon joins the Queen forum’s chatroom with a fake account and start talking with someone who completely understand him and make him feel alive again. He finds himself obsessed with her pretty soon....

"Yeah, I think that laughing makes me feel better. I try to think about good things and smile, even if I had a bad day. It’s better than worrying too much." - John Deacon 1979

*CoolCat is online*

……………………..

CoolCat - Hey D., you’re already here :’D

Deakster -…today was quite boring, so yeah…how was school ?

CoolCat - a really big NOPE day…but I’ll tell you in a bit.

Deakster - oh ok…still busy?

Cool Cat - oh no, not so much, I just came back it’s all..

________

This was her new normal from one month and a half, almost since the day she joined the official Queen forum and the chat room as well.

She was in London from less than a year attending the London Fashion College and apart from people from her classes she didn’t know anyone in particular; she wasn’t much an outgoing person anyway, but it was ok. In her perspective, now her studies were more important.

One day, too much free time on her hands leaded to, finally, join the official Queen chatroom. She was already registered onto the forum but she didn't have time to actually talk to people or post something but that day she was bored, more than usual, and while the school was closed for winter holidays, she found herself with nothing more to do..

Now thanks to an impulsive decision, she found so many people to talk to with the same love and passion for a band that changed her life forever. 

Luckily she found some new “friends” too. One in particular who she talked to almost every time she was there, between school, her new part time job and a almost non-existent private life.

She didn’t know much about him, he was nice and very well behaved so she assumed he was a bit older than her. She even didn’t know his real name, not that it wasn’t important but it was ok, for now. She only knew that he lived in London, like her, but she never asked where exactly and he didn’t tell her too. It was just a really nice and easy chat to pass the time and probably she will never see his face so... why bother about all this anyway?

________

CoolCat - so?Why a boring day? Tell me..while I finish up my dinner : )

Deakster - I’m no that interesting y’ know?i don't know why you still talk to me anyway

CoolCat - don't start, i talk to you ‘cause i want it to ...so go on then, wanna know..why boring?

Deakster - I was at home all day, cleaning up…listening to old music, I wasn’t much in the mood for tv or reading today.

CoolCat - sounds interesting ;D

Deakster - i told you it was boring, no need to mock me ):

CoolCat - I will never ;D

Deakster - as much as I want to believe you, I don’t. Are you laughing at me right now, aren’t you?

CoolCat - I assure you I’m not, ok maybe a little bit.. picturing you doing all things housewife-y is fun..and cute, maybe.

Deakster - am I cute now? Now you totally making fun of me, you little devil :’(.

CoolCat - oh, you realizing it now? That i am indeed evil? I thought you said that you were smart once… :).

Deakster - that i am, i didn't know i was going to meet a tempting devil on my way ;)

CoolCat - eh, life's full of surprises …

CoolCat - back on topic, do you still want to hear how bad my day was instead? It's funny...in its own way

Deakster - and probably much more interesting, go on tell me then…

CoolCat - alright …..in short, they didn’t like my patterns at all..not even one….

________

He didn’t even know why he was still there.

It was supposed to be a one time only...twice at least, just to ease up his boring life a little.

But now?

At first the idea of joining the official band forum was absurd - its own band, what the hell he was supposed to do or say? 

Hence the idea of creating a fake account, he really missed the people, the noise, the attentions that once were given to him. In short, he missed the fame and he was bored out of his mind..

Newly divorced, although he and his ex wife were still on speaking terms, she was one of the few people to know him well after all, but still, life had put him through a lot and his life had changed so much in few years

Now he find himself in up-north London, all alone in a small fancy apartment, and 50 years old already. 

He didn’t want anyone to know it was him, he wanted to be free, just be himself and not the worldwide famous rockstar. So the idea he had seemed the best way to do it 

- and quite silly- his ex wife commented once with a laugh..

It was basically hiding in plain sight, if people knew better, his nickname gave it away a lot, but in a Queen forum not really, not so much…

________

Deakster - so you have to do them all over again? Like you did last week ?

CoolCat - basically yes, but better and it’s so frustrating…I know it’s for my own good, I know it but..fuck….. uh, sorry, it slipped :/

Deakster - hahahahaha don’t worry about it, I used to be worst than that :D

CoolCat - really? You didn’t say one single bad word since I’ve known you..

Deakster - that’s because I can behave in front of a young lady ;)

CoolCat - LOL omg! you know, you talk like a really old man.

Deakster - I am an old man !

CoolCat - you’re not, you’re funny! ;D

Deakster - I can be funny and old at the same time y’ know?

CoolCat - haha yeah right xD …

Deakster - ..and you’re mocking me again.. :/

CoolCat - am not, I told you you’re funny..thank you btw, you really cheered me up, sorry about the rambling...

Deakster - my pleasure and..don’t worry about it :D

________

She didn’t know why it was so easy talking to him, but it was indeed, even if they had a limited time whenever they chatted, every time it was worthy it. She felt safe with him, from the first moment they spoke, relaxed even and she really didn't know why..

It was the first time that a man didn’t ask her for special pictures or talk to her in a creepy way and, honestly, it was quite a relief.

Each day that passed she, slowly, became the curious one but and didn’t know how to tell him just after two months but she really wanted to know more about him.

She liked their unusual friendship and really didn’t want to ruin it, so maybe it wasn’t the right time anyway..

CoolCat - as nice as it was, now I have to go..i’m so sorry D. : (

Deakster - oh, it’s ok… :’(

CoolCat - oh don’t cry, I’ll see you another day isn’t it? :D

Deakster - yes! This old man could use some nice company, every now and then..

CoolCat - I’m flattered :* ..i’m a nice company after all…

Deakster - less when you, clearly, make fun of me :P

CoolCat - ouch! You hurt me ;) …. Now for real, I have to go or I’ll have to pay way too much for my internet.

Deakster - allright..allright, listen…

He stopped for a second, torn between his rational mind and his instinct...a question in his mind for days.

Deakster - Can I ask you something?

CoolCat - maybe next time D. but if it’s important…i can stay a little more..i think

Deakster - no, not all…next time it is :D

CoolCat - ok, bye :*

……………..

*CoolCat is offline*

It wasn’t an important matter, but he really wanted to ask...he had that question in his mind for two weeks or so already…

It was stupid? Probably.

It was too soon? Absolutely.

But he felt different, he felt at peace, he felt alive again, all thanks to her..and that’s what he needed these days.

Almost everyday he was there waiting to talk even if for few minutes and he didn't know why. Infact, he knew little about her, but he didn’t wanted to seem too pushy even if he wanted to know more every time.

In almost two month they talked about almost everything: he knows she was a Queen fan and it was a “family thing” like she said; her mother was a long time fan so it was natural for her to knew about the band. She didn’t have a favorite one, she was more into their music and, to his delight, she liked almost every song he wrote, making him feel really proud. He knows she was attending the London College of Fashion and he smiled to himself at the silly coincidence.

She was a big time fan of fantasy literature, especially Tolkien.

What he didn’t know was her real name, it wasn’t important per se but the more they talked, the more he wanted to know. 

Was it the same for her? ..

Next time, maybe...?

________

What they didn't know was that the following days soon took an unexpected turn…

Her life was already messy, but this week seemed much more chaotic than usual.

At school they had a bunch of unexpected tests, mostly pointless and boring and at work they changed her shifts without asking and now she was on the afternoon one; It wouldn't be a problem if only she could still study too, but every night she came back from work too tired to do anything more than sleep or eat. So every morning she woke up an hour or two before her actual alarm so she could did something, even if it meant to probably fell asleep in class...

Every night was a struggle to sleep. Her mind wandered to all the things waiting for her the next day and to a specific person, the one who had soon become a pleasant habit in her life and on how much she missed their small late talks. 

She sighs, hoping to come back online soon.

The truth was that she really missed him..

________

He was a mess.

He logged in more than usual that week, just to check if she was there, ignoring anyone else, but nothing showed up.

Many times a little voice inside his head told him that this was pathetic, caring for a young girl like that, a girl that didn't know who he was, a girl that had a very busy life, full of interests, a girl that, surely, was not thinking about him like he was with her. 

But he did, he can't help it. 

She was somehow special to him, someone who listened to him for once, that talked to him not because of his fame but because she wanted to, someone that made him laugh. She was nice to him, that's all.

However deep down he knew it was all a lie.

What will happen when she would discover who he really was? 

That thought scared him the most, but still, he was still there looking for her.(missing her)

________

A week passed with no news whatsoever.

She was always tired and impossibly busy, sleeping on her day off..

He was stressed with family issues with no one to talk to 

He still hoped that she would showed up one day or another.

Meanwhile his paranoia started to tricked him in the worst way ever...

________

opinions?advices?constructive criticism?..please tell me what you think..

and if you like it, comment and..maybe reblog? thank you

taglist: @bluewillowmom @iwanttoridemybri @deakysgurl @deakys-chesthair @deacytits @spacedust1124719 @stormtrprinstilettos @dontstopmemeow @mydeakydoesme @culturefiendtrashqueen @babyzellodeacon @sitonmyhot-seatoflove @myguardianmailman @raven974 @chasingthespiders @bismillahnah @acdeaky @sohoneyspreadyourwings   @supersonicfreddie​

sorry two tags didn’t worked properly

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s February 2019 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

It has officially been a year of my making monthly fic lists and I’m so happy I decided to start doing this. I have so much fun sharing what I’ve been reading and how much I’ve enjoyed it. I’m so glad to keep going with it and hope you like it too! This month I continued my catch up on the Tomlinshaw exchange but also started reading a lot of fics I’d been holding out on for awhile. So, without further ado, here are the awesome fics that rocked my world this month!

play the game by @candybarrnerd / icarusinflight This one was sexy and filthy and I just...don’t have much more to say hahahahaha It’s Tomlinshaw and reading it had me pretty much dropped right into Nick’s emotions and I loved it.

Leave Your Mark On Me by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie OMG okay so like. Omega Harry who doesn’t even think he’s interested in alphas quick bonds with Alpha Louis because otherwise he can’t get the job he wants. But there’s a massive twist! And then feelings! And realizations! And pining! And flirting! And it just grows so perfectly and I loved it very much a lot. I can’t even find the right words and I think I finished it a week ago as of writing this little thing but yeah. It’s amazing.

Owner of a Lonely Heart by @shiftylinguini / shiftylinguini It’s a kind of Tomlinshaw rash marriage in vegas kind of fic but also not? There’s so many more feelings to it than something as simple as that. But it’s defo strangers to lovers and honestly the non-cameo Liam makes might very well be my favorite part of it as well as the Neil/Niall fiasco just because it plays out SO PERFECTLY with Nick and Louis. hahahahaha Gosh this fic is hysterical and soft and painful and just so many things. It is a perfect little fic. I love love loved it.

oh, i just want you to come with me by @hiatusniall / weddingbells I’ll be honest hahahaha the bit with the sprinklers had me wanting to cry a little because I was just imagining everything being ruined BUT the bookends were beautiful and the pain and the miscommunication cause, let’s be real, Tomlinshaw would never just have easy and straightforward and good communication. They’d have to fight it out and be stupid boys first, and this really captures that. It was a super fun read, I really enjoyed it!

Come and Get Your Love by @rsadelle / rsadelle A five times Tomlinshaw Fic! Featuring awesome dads Nick and Louis! This was so sweet and soft and cute and there was a twist I wasn’t expecting! And little interludes that just added even more to what was already incredible. It was such a fun read, I adored it.

dead set on a getaway by EmmyLouWho EmmyLouWho strikes again! Seriously, their fics are ALWAYS gold. I don’t know how they do it. This time features Tomlinshaw in a BOOK STORE. OOOOOMMMMGGGGGG!!! And the way it all finally comes together is adorable and perfect. And Gemma is hysterical hehehe Gosh such a fun and fluffy fic.

happiness hits like a train on a track by leighbot New dad Louis meets his neighbors Harry and Liam and Lirry are fucking adorable, okay? And they try to play matchmaker and it all goes horribly wrong and is so funny and yet bad BUT THEN! Nick to the rescue! For real, in the same ways the previous set ups had been all wrong, Nick is so right and I LOVED IT. Also, Louis’ relationship with Penny’s mother is so fucking cute too. I just can’t handle it. I loved this one too.

Say It With Flowers by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherain Back to Larry! For a bit, anyway hahaha Roni took the most hilarious prompt and made Louis so awkward and angry and forthright it was incredible. Meanwhile Harry’s just confused and yet it somehow all comes together and I so so so enjoyed reading this! It was the perfect read after a long day. hehe

The Sleepover by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours THIS GIRL DIRECTION FICLET IS THE MOST ADORABLE PERFECTION EVER?! It’s so pure! So soft! So sweet! Gosh I loved it very much a lot.

Charity Ficlets and Tumblr Drabbles by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen This collection of ficlets has such gems! Merm Louis, a magical curse au, AND a prompt I gave her that essentially takes Rachmaninoff and Stravinsky in Old Hollywood and makes them Harry and Louis. It’s all AMAZING and I LOVE IT.

One Touch Is Never Enough by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie Werewolf Louis goes to get a massage and things do not go as planned. Gosh I was cackling at this so much, it’s so great. A super funny, super ridiculous read haha

London Rain by @writsgrimmyblog / Writcraft Basically canon compliant Tomlinshaw where Louis wants to finally explore possibilities with boys and takes to online dating to try it. Gosh this fic is such a great read. There was a lot of emotion and parts that made me laugh out loud, it was absolutely fab.

Brave Love by @angelichl / angelichl And they were roommates!!! For real, though. They were. And there’s SO MUCH PINING and omgosh it’s so beautiful and soft and sweet and Harry and Louis are just so precious in this, okay? It’s so so so amazing. A great valentine’s day read.

hold on for one more day by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface This fic had me rolling but also so worried and I might have cried just a little bit, but seriously the Tomlinshaw banter was so great and so were the soft feels! The careful watching after each other and there’s a part where Grimmy is just so worried and scared and Louis is so so so soft and sweet and I’ll leave it at that. so good.

time stopped then sped so fast by sarcasticfluentry I went through the Grouis tag on AO3 and found very few fics. I loved them all, and they’re coming now, hahaha This is...basically Greg James/Louis Tomlinson porn lollll most of them are, tbh. It’s got panties though hehehe and if size difference is a kink for you, then this definitely has that for ya. An oldie but a goodie!

Let me be your good night by @conscious--ramblings / Conscious_ramblings I apparently read this ages ago when it first was published and I don’t remember it which seems impossible I don’t know how that happened?!?! This is Harry/Louis, but they go to a swinger party and Greg and Nick get added into the mix. It’s such a great read, though, because Harry and Louis are exclusive and never really considered adding more into their relationship, but this night changes some things and the way Sheena goes through the emotions of it all is so beautiful. And hot. Like damn hot. So. If that’s your jam, I would defo recommend this one.

sugar, butter, flour by EmmyLouWho After two incredibly smutty fics, have an entirely pure and smut free goodie from emmylouwho! hehe It’s a Nailed It AU and is SO GOOD. It’s so funny the way Harry, Zayn, and Niall are all depicted and the way it all plays out had me giggling the entire way through. A super cute, super fun read.

Like An Anthem In My Heart by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse / GMTYUniverse This fic, y’all. I love footie fics, but I’m also super picky about them because I love footie myself. This one was written so so so well in all aspects, but the football aspects had me screaming in excitement in a football chat. It was sooooo good and it involves a forced outing and how it was all handled and it was so believable and beautiful and the emotions and the relationships and the cameos of real players and people had me flipping out in a good way and I just. It was so great. One of my favs of the month, easily.

Taste Too Good by sarcasticfluentry Okay this one is more PWP basically, but it’s kinda...well, it’s Grouis, but it’s also...Tomlinshames. Is that the ship name for Nick/Greg/Louis? It is now. lol Anyway, this fic was a lovely little read and the switching in POV gave you a little insight on everyone’s feelings and thoughts throughout so yeah. haha

'cause i like it dark and low by sarcasticfluentry What can I say? More filthy, filthy Grouis PWP. lollll But it was good! haha

The Post-War BP by @jaerie / jaerie As per usual, Jenna comes in and just takes A/B/O and makes it an entirely different beast. I have no idea how her brain works, but I’d love to see inside it hahaha This is a fic where it kind of holds to the more traditional omegas stay home, have children, etc but in this world an alpha is required to be a part of the relationship in order for an alpha to have a chance at being produced. Add in a war where alphas were shipped off to fight and not many returned, and suddenly a Breeding Plan is introduced. This fic is somewhat dark, quite twisted in parts, and does involve some unsavory content, so please beware of tags. I ADORED it though.

Tell Me Your Secrets by @dimpled-halo / dimpled_halo This was for the Popularry fest, which I’m doing horribly at keeping up with. It was based on the film For a Good Time Call and I’d never heard of that until I read this, but now I wanna watch it! haha Harry and Louis are pseudo enemies to friends to lovers as they move into an apartment together and start a sex line and It’s...amazing. hahaha Such a great fic!

And that’s it for this month! Happy reading, and don’t forget to leave the authors kudos and nice comments!!

[tb5-hellbound]

here is a long ago conversation about talented amateurs, between me and a much better writer

if it’s of interest to anybody, here’s a long ago conversation I had with a very dear friend (and the best writer I know), about this story and the shape of it. it probably would’ve taken place around November of 2018, which is wild to remember. My daughter was 3. I was in the middle of moving house. TAG still hadn’t aired S3. I came to know so much about this story that it’s surprising to remember that I didn’t know when I wrote the first chapter that it even WAS a first chapter.

and not featured here, but still necessary to thank personally for putting up with similar ramblings over the course of the past two years are @space-baegel, @scribeofred and @drdone. 

Anyway. Here’s a behind the scenes glimpse at what I knew in November of 2018. Thanks for reading <3

Prelude 9:27 pm also i have another 2k in TA Kate 9:27 pm and you do not have enough hours in the day Prelude 9:27 pm and they are about to have a Big Talk Kate 9:27 pm OOOOH KHNDFKLVGERUILG i just got SO excited Prelude 9:27 pm no and I have a small person sitting on my lap yelling SUPER JUMP SUPER JUMP and not finishing her pizza Kate 9:28 pm hahshaaha she is my spirit animal except i would have finished the pizza in the first 30 seconds Prelude 9:29 pm hahaha yeah she got distracted by puppy games on her phone Kate 9:29 pm oh well then that is understandable Prelude 9:30 pm the problem is she still sits on my lap and she weighs forty pounds she is 3’6" and people think she’s a six year old Kate 9:31 pm she sounds exactly like my cousin sam she’s going to be TALL Prelude 9:31 pm oh yeah freakish Kate 9:31 pm are you and hubby tall? Prelude 9:31 pm oh yes Kate 9:31 pm both? Prelude 9:31 pm I’m 5’9", he’s 6’1" Kate 9:31 pm ahhh yess Prelude 9:32 pm I’m the shortest member of my family, although that may have changed Kate 9:32 pm but good height comparison between the two of you Prelude 9:32 pm My sister tells me she’s 5’7" I do not believe Kate 9:32 pm i would like to be 5’7" or even 5’5" Prelude 9:32 pm oh no kate are you tiny i write Penelope as very very tiny Kate 9:32 pm yes, i relate like in TA when you wrote that bit about gordon hovering above her i am her height Prelude 9:33 pm ehehehehehe Kate 9:33 pm so i could completely visualize it Prelude 9:33 pm niiiiice i love me a good height difference Kate 9:33 pm i mean anyone can visualize it but i mean i have been there lil lol i like guys at like 5’10" Prelude 9:33 pm Not Too Tall Kate 9:34 pm the 5’9" or 5’10" is great for my height YES EXACTLY Prelude 9:34 pm She wears like crazy high heels also like she’s wearing platform stilettos half the time. Kate 9:34 pm right i used to, i miss heels Prelude 9:34 pm i love a girl in Good Shoes Kate 9:34 pm i like opportunities to wear heels i haven’t in like a full year ME TOO! Prelude 9:34 pm (spoilers gordon is going to discover that he has a bit of a Shoe Thing) Kate 9:34 pm OH YES I AM READY Prelude 9:35 pm hahahahaha you just sit on the sidelines and cheer everytime I say these sinful things about this very good boy Kate 9:35 pm because i am the biggest, biggest fan of said sinful things Prelude 9:35 pm good, you keep me going Kate 9:35 pm really, just the biggest fan Prelude 9:35 pm It is very helpful Kate 9:35 pm i will be your cheerleader i am that peron person that wants the gritty stuff i want the details Prelude 9:36 pm bless your heart but also like I don’t think I’ll ever get to SMUT territory Kate 9:36 pm keeps me going Prelude 9:36 pm I just like writing like Kate 9:36 pm right Prelude 9:36 pm passions Kate 9:36 pm not that i would expect you too Prelude 9:36 pm not that I couldn’t either Kate 9:36 pm but you tow the line like where you are with TA is Prelude 9:36 pm I walk that tightrope Kate 9:36 pm perfect Prelude 9:36 pm the artful cutaway Kate 9:37 pm b/c then it’s really all left up to the imagination to fill in what you please yes! Prelude 9:37 pm the “oh by the way I can hold my breath for four minutes and I played clarinet in highschool” like Kate 9:37 pm i like that more than actual smut Prelude 9:37 pm subtle yknow Kate 9:37 pm LOL Prelude 9:37 pm see, you get it 😉 Kate 9:37 pm but you say things like"fuckfest" and it makes me happy b/c the deed was done, but again your imagination fills in the details Prelude 9:38 pm exactly and honestly the hardest thing about writing this stuff is writing what they’re both actually doing because I can’t just have the pair of them lying there but i’m very bad at visualizing I need like a pair of very bendy barbies artist doll things Kate 9:39 pm i like it when it’s right there, right at the edge, but then you (as the reader) take it there b/c we all have our own ideas and interpretations of events and what should happen and the way it happens Prelude 9:39 pm yeah! Kate 9:39 pm lol right Prelude 9:39 pm like, i will give you all of the bricks and all of the mortar you fit 'em together Kate 9:39 pm yes, love it! Prelude 9:40 pm ahhh but also like Kate 9:40 pm aw dang now i need more, prelude Prelude 9:40 pm well I mean also like, talking about the terms of their relationship and the fact that they’re going to have a relationship or at least see what happens Kate 9:41 pm i need it okay Prelude 9:41 pm oh man kate if I keep it going there’s gonna be So Much drama with Scotty Kate 9:41 pm like romance is also my New Thing okay like WAIT WAIT WHAT ABOUT DRAMA WITH SCOTT Prelude 9:42 pm oh yeah Kate 9:42 pm TELL ME MORE Prelude 9:42 pm if Gordon gets Penny pregnant, Scott is gonna rip him the fuck in half Kate 9:42 pm BUT LIEK like i don’t care i need it i need to see how it shifts the dynamics for all of them Prelude 9:42 pm oh yes it’s gonna be like, to the point of massive overreaction, almost for a Reason Kate 9:43 pm but that fits with scott i would expect that from scott does it have to do with age Prelude 9:43 pm well, i think for Scott the thing is that he like got a girl pregnant when he was in high school Kate 9:43 pm with scott stepping into dad role OMG YES keep going i am so excited Prelude 9:43 pm and she didn’t keep it, and that was for the best Kate 9:43 pm there are 5 boys in this family you can’t tell me an oops didn’t happen at least once Prelude 9:44 pm But he hates himself for being so irresponsible and stupid and impulsive and young Kate 9:44 pm yes yes yes the scott/gordon dynamic i am fucking HERE for it Prelude 9:44 pm me too But this is also just such a huge thing for Penelope because like her whole life and this was just supposed to be a sort of “well we’ll see” kind of a thing and the first impulsive night they have together, the unthinkable happened and of course she’s not on birth control, she hasn’t been in a serious relationship in a couple of years now And why would he have brought condoms to his grandma’s birthday party and they both should’ve thought about the potential for this consequence, but there’s such an afterglow and it seems more important to think about their relationship and neither of them figured this could happen Kate 9:46 pm right right and passion is like a real fucker that changes everything Prelude 9:47 pm no pun intended Kate 9:47 pm HA Prelude 9:47 pm and they were both looking forward to that courtship phase like Kate 9:47 pm but passion is a fickle bitch, it’s all about the moment she comes for even the most sensible Prelude 9:48 pm the thing that’s going to happen in this chapter is that she’s going to say “okay, let’s do this right. would you rather I took you out for valentine’s day or for your birthday?” “And would you rather go to Paris or Nice?” Kate 9:48 pm oh man grabby hands i’m super excited for the scott parts of this like i love the g/p part too obvs but what scott would go through would be a big Thing he is very emotitonal Prelude 9:49 pm oh yeah Kate 9:49 pm emotional Prelude 9:49 pm I think like Gordon doesn’t know about Scott’s thing And like john or somebody sort of has to take him aside and quietly explain Kate 9:50 pm also, you may not have ever even gone here, but due to my recent obsession, that then makes me think of virgil and kayo if they’re messing around too to be careful shit happens any of them, really, i guess Prelude 9:50 pm oH yeah Kate 9:50 pm i wanna be inside scott’s head when the news comes out Prelude 9:50 pm no they are fanatically careful and they are like Kate 9:50 pm so they are like straight up doing it though? Prelude 9:50 pm no, they’ve been doing this for like a year and a half No one knows Kate 9:50 pm like they are THERE Prelude 9:50 pm Oh yeah They are total fuckbuddies Kate 9:50 pm OH WAIT really? that long?! Prelude 9:51 pm oh yeah Kate 9:51 pm wow, that’s even ebtter better Prelude 9:51 pm no, they have a Thing They have a System Kate 9:51 pm also, i am super impressed that they kept it quiet for that long Prelude 9:51 pm Oh yeah Kate 9:51 pm which makes sense considering kayo Prelude 9:51 pm Yeah, entirely Kate 9:51 pm is special ops or whatever Prelude 9:51 pm I think Virgil’s just like I mean Kate 9:51 pm but like, i dunno, i love it Prelude 9:52 pm I think he’s the place where everybody else goes with secrets Kate 9:52 pm and i kinda like looking at the various dynamics Prelude 9:52 pm but he’s insanely good at keeping his own Kate 9:52 pm of what is and what isn’t YES i’ve always headcanoned virgil that way too Prelude 9:52 pm I think Somebody might know about Virgil hahahaha I also kind of I mean like Kate 9:52 pm wait tell me about the system Prelude 9:52 pm there’s a place I wanna go with Virgil Kate 9:52 pm i am sorry Prelude 9:52 pm haha I don’t know much yet Kate 9:52 pm i hijacked this conversation Prelude 9:52 pm but it’s like no no, it’s cool Kate 9:53 pm from pen and ink to virgil Prelude 9:53 pm No, I gotchu fam Kate 9:53 pm and kayo lol but i have thought lots about the first 2 Prelude 9:53 pm I think they have like Kate 9:53 pm and v/k is new and exciting for me lol WAIT THIS PLACE TELL ME MORE Prelude 9:53 pm hahaha well like I mean, it’s meant to be sort of an overall examination of relationships in the family Kate 9:53 pm yes yes Prelude 9:54 pm and how some of them know some things about each other and some of them know other things and some things are secret Like, Scott/Jane have a secret relationship, but I think like Alan knows or something Alan also still kind of has a thing for Kayo, but he’s aware that it’s dumb and he needs to get over it but he’s still gonna be really hurt if he finds out about her and virgil Kate 9:54 pm awww yeah Prelude 9:54 pm And then like I waaaaaant like Kate 9:55 pm poor ala alan just in general Prelude 9:55 pm like, there’s sort of two major ships with Virgil are V/B and V/K. and I kinda wanna go both places. I think Virgil is bi, but people tend to assume he’s gay. And I think maybe for a while he and Brains were kind of a thing, but also with that same sort of secrecy, and not like, in the fuckbuddy kinda way. I think they did more like traditional dating, just out of curiosity. But that hasn’t been a thing in ages, and they basically came to the conclusion that they’re happier as friends. Kate 9:57 pm hmmm would you try to explore both within this universe? Prelude 9:57 pm I think so. Kate 9:57 pm like the TA universe? wow! girl, you’ve got your work cut out for you! Prelude 9:57 pm Mostly just because I want Gordon to get mad as hell at Virgil, for having fooled around with the only two people on the island that they’re not related to, “you enormous lumberjack slut.” like, i want FIGHTS Kate 9:58 pm hahahahahha Prelude 9:58 pm “you beefy plaid whore” Kate 9:58 pm i don’t know why, but i have a hard time seeing brains in any sort of relationship with anyone Prelude 9:59 pm Yeah, that’s fair Kate 9:59 pm maybe it’s because i never formed an attachment to him? Prelude 9:59 pm I hear you Kate 9:59 pm or because he’s always like WORK SCIENCE OOPS Prelude 9:59 pm I mostly like the idea of Virgil being secretive about his personal relationships to the point that people assume he doesn’t have them. Kate 9:59 pm but also i LOVE the insults from gordon you beefy plaid whore HHAHAHAHA so virgil/kayo would end up coming out? Prelude 10:00 pm “you flannel strumpet” “there are two people on this island you don’t share dna with and you fucked both of them” (he didn’t, actually) (also scott knew about virgil/brains being a thing and this is why he thinks virgil is gay) Kate 10:00 pm like a total accident? how would gordon know? i wanna see this fight Prelude 10:00 pm Oh yeah, they’re in better shape than anyone else Kate 10:00 pm hahahaha Prelude 10:00 pm I think it comes out in one capacity or another Kate 10:00 pm hahahhahahaha the insults are amazing how would scott feel about that? Prelude 10:00 pm Either Virgil owns up for some reason, possibly to keep Scott from really tearing into Gordon Kate 10:00 pm with his whole secret jane thing oooh you know that is EXACTLY what virgil would do try to reason Prelude 10:01 pm i think there’s a massive blow out Kate 10:01 pm ooooh no i’m getting even more invested in v.k now Prelude 10:01 pm and Virgil grabs John and is like “okay, I’ll take Scott, you take Gordon.” Kate 10:01 pm like, what happens from there OOOH OOOH Prelude 10:02 pm i think V probably goes to Kayo and says “okay, i think I need to talk to Scott about us” Kate 10:02 pm KEEP GOING TELL ME MORE Prelude 10:02 pm And she’s like “MMMMMMM NOT SURE I DIG ON THAT, THERE IS LITERALLY A SMOKING CRATER WHERE GORDON WAS STANDING” “yeah but that’s why we gotta” I think John’s a bigger factor for Gordon vs the whole potential parenthood thing because I’ll always write him as aro/ace But he’s also the person with the closest analogue to a child, in EOS Kate 10:04 pm okay okay although, scott too Prelude 10:04 pm Oh yeah Kate 10:04 pm kinda assuming father role Prelude 10:04 pm Oh totally Kate 10:04 pm oh man oh man sarah Prelude 10:04 pm “I’m just telling you what Dad told me when I did this” Kate 10:04 pm you have no idea the kind of feels i have right now OH OOOH MAN Prelude 10:05 pm Gordon being like “excuse me, I did not knock up a cheerleader I’d known for three weeks in the back of Grandpa’s truck when i was seventeen” Prelude 10:06 pm “if the great state of kansas had an age of consent any younger than sixteen, what you did would’ve been statutory” then probably there’s some punching Kate 10:06 pm ooooh shit lol yeah yeah, there’s definitely some punching Prelude 10:07 pm hahaha oh man i just wrote a line Kate 10:07 pm OH DID YOU NOW Prelude 10:07 pm “Not much for sleeping late, then?” she inquires, curious more than she is critical. “Personally, I’ve got a terrible fondness for a good lie-in.”

“I get nervous when I don’t know what time it is,” he admits, a little sheepishly. “I mean—it doesn’t matter. S’just…I dunno, I’m all hungover. And we’re supposed to be outta here by noon. And—and I don’t mean to keep coming back to it, but my entire family, Penelope. Right outside your bedroom door. My grandmother. We weren’t supposed to get her anything, but like…happy birthday, Grandma! I slept with our London Agent.”

“Well, if it helps, it was well after midnight before anything of consequence actually happened.” Penelope tilts her head slightly (adorably), and seems bemused by the concept. “But then, it does beg the question—is that something she would consider a gift?”

Gordon shrugs. “There’s a reason Grandma rhymes with drama.”

On the topic of drama, her answering sigh is exaggerated, but tolerant. “Yes, because you’re an American and you pronounce everything incorrectly.” Kate 10:08 pm lol penny but seriously, i LOVE this and i love the direction it’s going and i love everything i know about the overall shakeup for the family Prelude 10:09 pm oh yes I’m very excited Kate 10:09 pm i can’t describe to you how excited i am for all of this!!! Prelude 10:10 pm hahaha good! motivate me! Kate 10:10 pm how?!?! i’ve done LOTS of screaming!!! lol Prelude 10:11 pm hahaha i mean you are! you are super motivating me Kate 10:11 pm YAYAYAYAY!!! i’m a sucker for relationships and analyzing them throwing wrenches into them lol Prelude 10:11 pm yeah! also Gordon and Grandma and “grandma i fucked up” and just like Kate 10:12 pm OH my gosh yes!!! Prelude 10:12 pm being so upset at how this changes what he thought was goign to play out like, he wanted the chance to fall in love with her i mean, more in love with her but like, to do it Right Kate 10:13 pm right, follow kind of the natural course Prelude 10:13 pm and to have to figure out how to make their relationship work out between their respective jobs because I also think she’s like “I don’t want an abortion” Kate 10:14 pm and the added pressure of distance Prelude 10:14 pm I kind of don’t think that’s in her nature Kate 10:14 pm or how to come together like at least v/k are on the same island Prelude 10:14 pm yeah, exactly Kate 10:14 pm i would assume too, for penny, there’s some sort of expectation of how things should be like, from a social standpoint from a name standpoint Prelude 10:15 pm Yeah, exactly she’s just like staring down the barrel of this scandal and like she’s run into a crumbling south american temple without batting an eye but this scares her Kate 10:16 pm yes that makes perfect sense things are going to change moving forward, forever but there’s really no way of knowing how things will play out Prelude 10:16 pm And their family is so private like so incredibly private she’s lived her whole life in the public eye and he just hasn’t aaaaaah and like man Kate 10:17 pm yesss there are so many factors at play Prelude 10:18 pm he wants so much to do right by her, and like, he already loves her enough to marry her but now he doesn’t know if he should ask or what she’d say if he did or if she wants that Kate 10:18 pm and emotions are so high that i’d think that’d impact a lot like as far as asking for marriage Prelude 10:18 pm also preggo hormones yeah, exactly and like Penny being told that she can’t do that secret side of her job any more she has to be just a socialite Kate 10:19 pm and i’d think maybe this might challenge the nature of their jobs? for anyone involved? Prelude 10:19 pm oh yeah Gordon’s gonna get benched Kate 10:19 pm yeeeep good thing they don’t need him for things like deep sea rig explosions Prelude 10:20 pm wELL not like Penny can do it either Kate 10:20 pm right but that’s what i mean they both do these kinds of things Prelude 10:20 pm exactly Kate 10:20 pm but now adding a child brings in a whole lot more to think about and i am thrilled to see how it plays out!!! Prelude 10:20 pm and now they both have each other on the sidelines Kate 10:20 pm ahhhhhh!!! Prelude 10:20 pm yeah!!! i gotta!!! write it!!! Kate 10:20 pm on the sidelines YES and the virgil/kayo Prelude 10:21 pm “go have a tea party with penny or whatever it is she does” oh yeah Kate 10:21 pm i hope you know you’ve created a monster and i will NEVER let this go even if it takes YEARS AND YEARS Prelude 10:21 pm I think v/k going like “…well should we try and be a thing now? like a real thing? like stuff is changing, should we take that opportunity?” Kate 10:21 pm i’ll always be there, whispering in your ear HAHAHA Prelude 10:21 pm “…what if we don’t work as a thing?” Kate 10:21 pm YES YES and it would be virgil that makes the proposition, yes? Prelude 10:22 pm Oh yeah oh man Grandma taking Gordon aside and being like “the only reason your mother and father got together was because Scott was conceived in a hayloft when your dad was twenty-one, he can get off his high-horse.” “And there are five of you and your parents loved each other more than anything.” Kate 10:22 pm was it intiially like, one of them that said ‘let’s just keep it where it’s at’ or like, very adamantly keep it as fuckbuddies on the dl Prelude 10:22 pm “this doesn’t have to be a disaster” Kate 10:23 pm YES Prelude 10:23 pm I think Kayo is a little bit scared to be caught keeping another secret from the boys. Kate 10:23 pm GRANDMA FOR THE WIN Prelude 10:23 pm and also being like “your dad never meant for IR to be your entire lives” Kate 10:23 pm at least she has virgil in it with her and if anyone is sensible in that family, it’s virgil yes 😔 ir really is literally everything Prelude 10:23 pm “you’re meant to have partners, you’re meant to have your own futures, you’re meant to grow up and learn how to make this a part of your lives and not the totality” And like Kate 10:24 pm impacts ALL areas of their lives Prelude 10:24 pm the core of the reason why any of them keep these secrets at all is because they’re afraid of how it would impact IR and Dad’s legacy Kate 10:24 pm oh my gosh sarah i am fucking here for it and fucking pumped!!! Prelude 10:24 pm and none of them want to be the guy to ruin that. hahahahaha ily kate you complete me Kate 10:24 pm <3 Prelude 10:24 pm i am down to talk about this always Kate 10:24 pm ME FUCKING TOO cuz see, you’re looking at what comes next, and what happens later, not just right now and i fucking APPRECIATE THAT Prelude 10:25 pm oh yeah I am a Big Picture Person and I am very much about the interplay of all these relationships Kate 10:25 pm ugh me too Prelude 10:25 pm and how these different connections form and also like Kate 10:25 pm YES Prelude 10:25 pm unexpected connections Kate 10:25 pm and they’re all getting older Prelude 10:25 pm Like Kate 10:25 pm and things change Prelude 10:25 pm exactly! like it’s so significant that Gordon goes to her intially because he’s like “i need to start getting over you” Prelude 10:26 pm and she’s like “well first you’re gonna be under me for a bit” Kate 10:26 pm and if they’ve found someone that they could make a life with, it’s important that those things happen Kate 10:26 pm b/c of fulfillment and everything Prelude 10:26 pm exactly! and like This is the break scott’s been waiting for, even if he doesn’t realize it And he’s gonna be in this massive funk and he’s gonna be like “I’M GOING OUT FOR SOME AIR” Kate 10:27 pm YES! KEEP GOING KEEP GOING Prelude 10:27 pm and he’s going to fly across the globe to whatever airport Jane is spending the night in and be like Kate 10:27 pm GOOOOO KEEP GOING Prelude 10:27 pm “my fucking little idiot brother knocked up an english socialite” Kate 10:27 pm omg omg Prelude 10:27 pm “let’s get MARRIED.” Kate 10:27 pm i love this Prelude 10:27 pm “that’ll teach him.” Kate 10:27 pm this is literally what i live for omg ahhahahahaha scott Prelude 10:27 pm “he’s not the only stupid impulsive idiot in the family” Kate 10:28 pm hahahaha i love it omg Prelude 10:28 pm And Jane’s gonna be like “slow your roll, babe 😃 " “ily but you’re dumb as hell when you’re mad.” like that Scott’s found someone outside the family who does what Virgil does for him in IR in like an emotional capacity Kate 10:29 pm YESSS omg beautiful i love love love these things Prelude 10:29 pm saaaaame Kate 10:29 pm and like, above all else, these boys DESERVE this Prelude 10:29 pm yeah!!! Kate 10:29 pm they deserve love and something to indulge in and get that ultimate fullillment outside of what they know Prelude 10:30 pm and also I want Penny to go to John first with the news that she’s pregnant because bffs and also I think he’s just who she calls when she’s in trouble Kate 10:30 pm that makes sense and i thought she would cuz bffs hahahaha Prelude 10:30 pm well and also because that was where she went when she first kissed Gordon Kate 10:30 pm right follows patterns Prelude 10:30 pm and i live for callbacks yes also i just like Kate 10:31 pm yes i’m like in my glory right now thinking about it all Prelude 10:32 pm really love that she would trust him and would be correct in trusting him and that he’d be the person to say “well, I will help you handle this however you want to handle this and no one else has to know” “but also please don’t keep this from Gordon, because if he ever finds out any other way he’ll literally die.” “i cannot explain the degree to which this would hurt him and i know you don’t want to hurt him.” Kate 10:32 pm yessss yes Prelude 10:32 pm also parker is going to be Furious Kate 10:33 pm ooh i never really even thought about parker! Prelude 10:33 pm yeah, I keep remembering him at the last second Kate 10:33 pm there are so many players involved and so many lines to follow so many people impacted Prelude 10:33 pm yessssss i live for that shit hwd is like that Kate 10:34 pm like, nothing anyone in this family does only impacts that person Prelude 10:34 pm so complicated so many relationships Kate 10:34 pm or that couple there are repercussions for EVERYTHING any of them do that impact EVERYONE else Prelude 10:34 pm Exactly and deep down at the core of it, it’s just that they all want to protect each other Kate 10:34 pm yes comes from a good place and i’ll never think they’re in the wrong for wanting something more Prelude 10:35 pm and also none of them can BELIEVE that they’ve all been keeping these sorts of secrets with varying degrees of success Kate 10:35 pm i did laundry today and i missed one half of 6 pairs of socks lol Prelude 10:35 pm hahaha Kate 10:35 pm right!?!?!?! Prelude 10:35 pm skillz Kate 10:36 pm like, the kayo/virgil one is kind of mind blowing based on sheer length and thought that goes into it and keeping sage safe Prelude 10:36 pm oh yeah Kate 10:36 pm and secret like shit Prelude 10:36 pm they’re both just like I think they almost get more satisfaction out of the secrecy of it than any other aspect Kate 10:36 pm it’s kind of daunting lol Prelude 10:36 pm Like the sex is fine and great and whatever But what’s almost more fun is that they’ve gotten away with it for so long they’re both kind of competitive and they work really well together as a team and Virgil likes getting one over on his brothers and Kayo feels incomplete if she’s not keeping SOMETHING secret like it probably started up shortly after they found out about her uncle like Kate 10:37 pm oooh Prelude 10:37 pm if that’s the way the context of their relationship changes like that whole sort of “well, at least now it’s easier not to feel like we’re the only family you have” Kate 10:38 pm oooh yes yes yes dude there is so much to explore Prelude 10:38 pm I knoooooow Kate 10:38 pm also like how the hell do they keep quiet? in the literal sense Prelude 10:38 pm it’s a big island Kate 10:38 pm on an island eh true i bet they have A Place Prelude 10:39 pm little huts on the beach TB2 is Pretty Big Kate 10:39 pm but also like, if something really tough happens, do they sometimes just NEED tht touch, that reassurance i think they got the best end of the stick Prelude 10:39 pm (hahaha Gordon: “IN THE CO PILOT’S SEAT. I SIT THERE.”) Kate 10:39 pm they’re both right there HAHAHAHAHAH hahhahaha i love it so much Prelude 10:40 pm “ALAN’S SAT THERE.” “YOU’VE TAINTED OUR BABY BROTHER.” Kate 10:40 pm i don’t understand how my laundry piles up so quickly HAHAHAHAHAHA gordon questioning literally everywhre Prelude 10:41 pm “in MY POOL.” “DRAIN THE POOL.” Kate 10:41 pm hhHAHAHAHA this is my favorite part of that relationship everyone else finding out and gordon with his insults SO ENTERTAINING and i wonder if virgil keeping that sort of secret, in light of gordon seeking him out for a similar type of secret, would lead to some hurt feelings or if he’d be like, i gotchya bro Prelude 10:42 pm oh man i think the thing with Virgil is that like everybody trusts him but he also tells Kayo everything Because couples just do that. Kate 10:42 pm right, which she even told gordon LOL Prelude 10:43 pm exactly and so the thing with Virgil is going to be less that he kept his own secret and more that he didn’t keep anyone else’s. Kate 10:43 pm and like, even if they’re calling it ‘just a thing’ if it’s been a year and a half, like, they’re invested Prelude 10:43 pm oh yeah no, more than either of them realize Kate 10:44 pm that’s the shit i am 100% here for gawd i’m a total slut for that shit Prelude 10:45 pm ehehehe man and like the idea that maybe the secrecy was the only thing that kept them going Kate 10:45 pm also like, friends with benefits is great in theory but i really think it’s more of a short term thing Prelude 10:45 pm I think he’d probably try to argue that they haven’t ever been that. they’re definitely more than friends Kate 10:45 pm and when you don’t see them super often Prelude 10:46 pm like, her being really vulnerable to people knowing something so personal about her Kate 10:46 pm yes yes i think so too that’s a super vulnerable position to be in to even open yourself up to someone that much and put that kind of trust in them Prelude 10:46 pm and him being like “we’re still your family, you can still trust us” “nothing’s going to change about the way they feel about you” and her being like “literally everything will change about the way they feel about me.” Kate 10:47 pm right and more than friends i think has a really high probability of leading to more over time i think it was bound to happen Prelude 10:47 pm yeah, entirely Kate 10:47 pm they’re both right Prelude 10:47 pm I think the best place she could get to by the end of it would be “willing to try with a high hope of success” Kate 10:47 pm but like not in the way they expect, i think Prelude 10:47 pm yeah for sure Kate 10:47 pm i mean, this is just me thinking about it obvs Prelude 10:48 pm no totally, I need thinking about it Kate 10:48 pm also, i had a friends with benefits thing that turned into something more and it was a fucking mess so Prelude 10:48 pm Ooh see like Kate 10:48 pm that kind of impacts, for me, the way i see this playing out Prelude 10:48 pm the thing with me Kate 10:48 pm also Prelude 10:48 pm is that i have been in one (1) relationship Kate 10:48 pm why i am so attached to this idea of v/k and it just happened to be with virgil Prelude 10:48 pm and it has lasted for 14 years and we have a kid Kate 10:48 pm but like, the relationship itself is what got me hooked right, which by the way is fucking amazing!!! Prelude 10:49 pm hahaha thank you we got very lucky Kate 10:49 pm from my experience, and that that friends have had, it’s never easy, and it’s rarely clean Prelude 10:49 pm entirely Kate 10:49 pm even if the agreement is made at the beginning that it’s a ‘whatever will happen’ feelings change damn, memories lol you did get very lucky i think, i am also at the age, the ripe old age of 28, where these things are making a much larger impact on me like, the idea of finding someone or something as the next step 28 is a Year, man Prelude 10:51 pm oh yeah what the hell you’re only 28 you baby you infant Prelude 10:53 pm I’m 29, and I’m going to be 30 so I can say these things Kate 10:53 pm i was about to sya i am pretty sure you are not much older than me lololol Prelude 10:53 pm no, i am not but like I think that’s where Scott’s at I think he had a FWB thing with Jane but it turned into “well, now you’re the person I want to talk to at the end of every day” “even if you’re on the other side of the world” “and even if this is the least physical relationship I’ve ever had” “And usually I rely on that more than I rely on the other thing” Prelude 10:56 pm I think Scott’s been waiting for his moment for like this big reveal and whatever and he thinks that “I have a secret girlfriend and today is our six month anniversary” is going to be a big deal but possibly Gordon swipes that out from under him with “I got Penelope pregnant.” Kate 10:57 pm yes yes, that was one of my first thoughts, actually i feel like, scott’s secret is actually the last on the OH SHIT reveal list like, in order: Prelude 10:58 pm oh yeah Kate 10:58 pm 1: pregnant 2: 1.5 years sneaking around IN THE SAME HOUSE 3: 6 month relationship, not so physical Prelude 10:58 pm but like! the shame of it is, Scott’s so damn proud of himself because I think they started out as like Kate 10:58 pm right!! Prelude 10:59 pm she was just someone he’d bootycall occasionally and then it just got to be more Kate 10:59 pm and it’s good for him to have found that anchor Prelude 10:59 pm and his relationships don’t usually get to the “more” stage I think that was the mistake he made in highschool Kate 10:59 pm it is all very exciting Prelude 10:59 pm like he was seventeen and ready to marry this stupid girl Kate 10:59 pm but even with him, there are more complications Prelude 10:59 pm and her parents were like “NOPE.” Kate 10:59 pm b/c they do not live near each other so as far as more goes that can be hard, i’d imagine! Prelude 10:59 pm yeah, entirely I mean, I did the LDR thing for a few years with the husband Kate 11:00 pm dude and he (scott) totally would have Prelude 11:00 pm entirely he was young and stupid and he thought he was in love it would’ve been a dISASTER though Kate 11:00 pm aww poor scott lol yeah he wouldn’t be where he is! Prelude 11:01 pm no! Kate 11:01 pm and like the dynamics of the entire family would have changed!!! Prelude 11:01 pm and he would’ve had a horrible marriage that lasted a terribly short time and would’ve ended in a messy divorce because he cares way too much like, the way it worked out is still the best way it could’ve worked out but like, he also got a vasectomy as soon as it was reasonably possible (aaaaugh but also Grandma and Gordon sitting side by side at the edge of the pool, and he is just DEVASTATED.) (because Scott came down on him so hard, and even in spite of everything there’s this tiny tiny tiny little part of him that wants to be excited) (that thinks this is new and amazing and wonderful and maybe it means something) (and maybe it could be okay) (but like, Scott pulled the roof down on his head and made him feel like a bad person) (for something that was a mistake/accident) Kate 11:04 pm yesssss yes i see all of that Prelude 11:04 pm (and grandma being like “you know, you remind me very much of your brother and very much of your father right now, because I have been right here with both of them, and Scott was the cause of one of those situations and the result of the other. so don’t worry kiddo. it all works out.”) ('i’m going to have a very very pretty great grandbaby. those creighton-wards have some excellent genes.”) Kate 11:05 pm hahaa yes Prelude 11:05 pm (“and don’t tell your brothers, but you’re the cute one.”) Kate 11:05 pm i do love grandma tracy HA HAHA Prelude 11:05 pm (“best possible baby. let me get my phone, let’s look at your baby pictures.”) Kate 11:06 pm hahaha yes the comedic relief that is very much needed Prelude 11:07 pm For sure Kate 11:07 pm but also proof that things will be okay or that they can be okay that it can work out

[myvelouri]

I requested off work for today 3 weeks in advance. Sam said she was gonna come to the metal concert. But she flaked. Oh well. Fuck her I guess. Idk. But Jay came! I loved it

He's very sensitive and gets pissy. He's kind of an ahole

But we went to warehouse live to see these bands. It was for Chelsea grin. It was great

A lot of "my people" were there. Like. Alternative! Of course. SO MANY GORGEOUS GIRLS THAT ARE MY TYPE. I was in the pit and this girl looked at me and smiled twice at me. I could have gotten her number. And as you know, at these venues you get to walk around during when bands are setting up. So I walked around and there was so many fucking hot girls that kept making eye contact with me!! I was like wtf am I hot? Again? Lol! It was insane. Even after the show when I went barhopping with Jay! Girls kept checking me out HARD! PROLONGED EYE CONTACT, DOUBLE EYE CONTACT, SO MUCH!

so I met Jay's friend Maura, he met her through tinder but they're friends. They haven't ever fucked. She's actually gorgeous wtf wow how do I not get matches like that, lol. I don't actually have a tinder tho.

Anyway she was cool. Her credit card got jacked but she fixed it and figured it out. She got crushed in the mosh pit too. She's cute and tiny. We were gonna bar hop with her after the concert and we totally did. I also ran into a girl who I knew from OkCupid a long time ago. I never fucked her. But she wanted me bad. Lmao. She actually knew Maura. LOL.

I felt mean kinda just dismissing that girl. She's cool tho. Idk

Um

Lol

So I finally got buzzed and we drank at the place where Jay and maura agreed to. I started getting silly. Bunch of other people at the table they knew but slowly they left. Lmao. It was jus me, Maura and Jay left. I killed the big beer someone left for Maura. Oof. Got me good

We went to Niels bar. It's like an arcade. Well, me and Maura started getting very close. Another one of her friends added me on her Facebook earlier and Maura was like "did you get me too?!" And I gave her my phone and I have itachi from naruto as my keyboard for my phone! And she goes "omg is that an anime background keyboard?" And I said ya. And she lit up. She was so into me lol. She was hype. And she asked if I liked horror anime. She said a name of one and she said she's gonna message me the name of it! I was surprised a girl was so interested me that she even said she'd message ME? LOL. GIRLS GHOST ME. WTF? shocked. And shocked I was checked out a lot. I had my black tank top on, grey beanie, skinny black jeans and my chain. Idk. Cute I guess.

Used to be cuter.

Anyway me and Maura started joking around hard. Somehow we talked about Deftones and she loved them HARD like I do and it was easy for me to keep talking and joking with her and she was amazing. I could date her. I could totally. We are almost the same. I'm so shocked. And she's gorgeous. Oh lmao her friend made out with her. Two girls. She made out with Britney. Lmao Brit was hitting on me and Jay too. But she was drunk

Um so Jay was on the table with me and Maura and me and her were just going off together. And I think I made him feel like a third wheel but he has a girl right now... And I already asked him if he wanted to pursue Maura and he said kinda but not really but kinda. So I felt like it was unfair. I felt dumb for not getting a lot of those other girls numbers. I only meet those gorgeous alternative babes that love metal like me at these places. Godamnit I'm dumb. I was just too sober to do it.

Uh

So as I joked with Maura, called her a dork, talked about exes and everything. I tried to get her to play a game with Jay. But Jay went off and played with another guy. As I'm having a good time with Maura, Jay texts me very salty stuff like "yeah kinda hard to get with a girl when you keep saying shit to her first" and I felt bad. Guilty. But.. she was into me. I can't help that. Jay is adorable btw. But she just was into me. Cause we have a lot in common. I um

I, idk why I can't remember the specific convos. I eventually got Jay and maura playing together. I got some hot funions from the vending machine and shared them with Jay and maura. I fed Maura lol. I'm a flirt. But I tried to feed jay too to make it even LOL but he didn't want that. I started fucking with Maura and shoved a funion in her nose hahahahaha. Then a lil later another one but I said I'ma shove it in her other nostril. And then I told her to come close, and I bit it out of her nose and ATE IT HAHAHA

then I got one in her mouth and said I'ma eat it out of her mouth. I said "but hey we're going to end up kissing" and lol. I did... Idk if she kissed back much but we were both aware that Jay would be upset. Um. I only did that when Jay wasn't there btw.

I talked to her about it too.

I could have gotten with her. I want her as a friend. She's incredible. So much in common and open af!

So we drove back together in separate cars and we took care of her cause she had a headlight missing and she wasn't sober so she can't afford being pulled over. And Jay drove in front and I drove behind her. It was nice

He called me and said he's gonna have her come smoke at her place. And that was my queue to leave them. And he apologized for being salty earlier. I didn't want to ruin our friendship so I let him have her. I really wanted her. but... I don't know. It felt like the friendship was more important

So I did that.

Um

I just

I wanna see Maura again... Tbh.

She was amazing

I drove to my hometown bar and met my regulars there. I told Sherwood and he said I'm an attractive dude. Uh later they said I was hit with the ugly stick and not America's next top model. Ha.. I guess.. that sucks ha.. thank you? Lol...

Ow..

Anyway

I uh

I don't know

So many pretty babes tonight! I am stupid for not talking to any

The show was amazing though wow

I want to start a band so badly

Um

I spent way too much money this week. I'm in debt ugh.

I can't tell you how many girls gave me eye contact and smiles. Wow. It lit me up. I felt so pretty

I haven't had that since like a few years ago

I'm not super fine I guess but I'm pretty I guess. Idk. I just don't understand how attractive I am or am not. I'm so confused about that.

Maura talking about Deftones and the song sextape made me go Gaga. Lol

Um

Idk if Jay even got with her in the end. And he won't tell me

Grr

I feel dumb

I'm too nice... Too caring.

I can't believe the chemistry between me and maura. Lol.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Game of Thrones S8E03 Thoughts

I’m enjoying the aesthetics in the opening credit cause Winterfell ain’t gonna look the same in the next episode...

Everyone be brooding or freaking the fuck out while Lyanna Mormont is getting shit done.

Everything is soo...eerie.

STOP SHOWING ALL MY FAVS LIKE THEY ARE GONNA DIE.!!!

GHOST!!!! PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS!!!

Melisandre??? Where the fuck did she come from???

OKAY THAT FIRE THINGY WAS FUCKING COOL I’VE GOT CHILLS

Why did she say Valar Morghulis to Greyworm? Is it just a what’s up bro or foreshadowing?????????????

Ser Davos, let’s not be hasty. Melisandre can do cool fire tricks!!!

So Melisandre has read the script for 8x03 huh? Cool.

EXCUSE ME WHY YOU STARING AT MY GIRL ARYA????

Okay it’s happening it’s happening it’s happening

...

fuck.

HOLY SHIT!!! The walkers are riding in like some kind of wave!!!

That is a lot of dead people. I am worried about the Westoroes population...

No Brienne!!!!! Oh thank fuck, Jaime!!!! 

YASSSSSS DRAAAAAGOOOOOOOONSSS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!

What is this smokey misty thingy???? I CAN’T SEE SHIT!!!!

Okay I’m just hearing a lot of screaming, grunting and swish swashing of swords ARE MY FAVS OKAY???

Stick ‘em with the pointy end :) :) :)

Oh Edd!!! And now his watch has ended :(

Tyrion is like “Man they creeped Sansa fucking Stark..Death is really coming huh”?? *chugs wine*

I gotta say, Jon really got the hang of this dragon-riding thing!

Fall the fuck back and save yourselves!!!!!

Bran is that bitch is who is super calm before the exam and you are like bitch dafaq i am shaking????

Okay i’ve got eyes on Braime!!! They are alive!!! (My mind voice: “for now hahahahaha”)

Yasss to Arya saving The Hound!!!

These Unsullied peeps are so fucking brave wow!

Davos: She can’t see us!! Me: NOBODY CAN FUCKING SEE YOU!!!

OMFG  SOMEBODY LIGHT THE FUCKING TRENCHES!!!

YES YES USE MELISANDRE. Thank fuck for Greyworm and his brain cells!!

DO NOT LET ME DOWN WOMAN!!!!!

Yes lord of light pulled through!!!! Thank you. I’ll roast some marshmallows for you later :)

People be fighting death over here and these bitches are making jokes and throwing shade in the crypt!!! SMH.

Yall I know he fucked up big time but I really like Theon now :) <3

“I’m going to go now” OMG BRAN STOP BEING HILARIOUS!!!

Are they...committing suicide???

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I do not like to watch things climb up walls. It is the creepiest thing ever!

JAIME AND BRIENNE FIGHTING SIDE BY SIDE? YES TO THAT!!!!!

OMG ARYA FUCKING STARK STABBING THE WHITE WALKERS WITH HER NEW SHINY TOY!!!! I’M HERE FOR THIS CONTENT PEOPLE!!!

 HOLY FUCK IT’S A FUCKING GIANT 

LYANNAAAAA OH MY FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOO

LYANNA FUCKING MORMONT TOOK DOWN A GIANT ALL ON HER OWN WHAT A FUCKING LEGEND

I know we are getting fucked but that ice fire thingy is really cool tho...

Okay that scene with Arya and the walkers in the library??? I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE STRESSED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!

Quiet as a shadow. Quick as a snake. She remembered her lessons :)

OMG RUN BABY GIRL RUN

PROTECT ARYAAAAAAAA

How is Beric even walking????? What a man.. what a man...what a man.. what a man... RIP.

Okay this Arya + Melisandre reunion is very cryptic and chilling....

NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!

PROTECT THEON!!!!! (And um Bran?!?)

Me @ the dragons: STOP FIGHTING YOUR BROTHERS!!!!!!

Hey Dany, I don’t think dragon fire is gonna kill this dude....

OMG DID YALL SEE THAT FUCKING SMIRK??????? CHILLS!!!!!!

YASSS Jon honey!! You go stab that icey bitch!!!

Why does the Night King walk like he is listening to Adele?? Weird.

I am here for this duel bitchesssss

OMG I forgot he could do that!!!!!!!!!! SHIT.

OH FUCK NO NO NO NO RETREAT I REPEAT MISSION ABORT!!!!!

OKAY I HAVE EYES ON JAIME HE IS NOT LOOKING GOOD YALL!!!!!

Lady Lyanna Mormont as a white walker is my biggest nightmare...

I FUCKING KNEW THE FUCKING CRYPTS WERE NOT SAFE!!!!

Dayuuum Theon ain’t fucking around in the godswood!!!

Okay how is Jon fighting all of them???

DAENERYS!! I was wondering where the fuck she went!!!

Ew gross!!! LEAVE DROGON ALONE YOU DEAD ASSHOLES!!!!!

YASSS SER JORAH THIS MAN THO WOW!!!!

It’s raining (dead) men, Hallelujah!!

OMG THAT SANSA + TYRION MOMENT!!!!

Hey white walkers, if you even fucking touch Sansa...

OMG VISERION NOW IS NOT THE TIME FUCK OFF!!!!!!

This piano music is making me very emo....

JAIME JAIME JAIME I CANT SEE HIM I CANNOT SEE HIM!!!!!

Stupid montage scene fuck off i dont wanna see my favs suffer!!!!!

Oh Theon!!!! My poor, sweet Theon... You are a good man and I will miss you </3

Leave Bran the fuck alone i am warning you asshole!!!!!!!!!

Okay real quick, I really like this background score. Ramin Djawadi is a fucking maestro!!! 

That is some prolonged eye contact right there yall? I mean it’s Bran...So, I am not really surprised.

OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARYA MOTHERFUCKING STARK YALL I CANNOT WOW JUST WOW

Azhor Ahai????? More like ARYA AHAI!!!!!!!!!

OKAY JAIME, BRIENNA AND POD ARE ALIVE!!! MY ADOPTED FAMILY LIVES!!!!!!

Ohhhhh Ser Jorah.... I always knew he was gonna die protecting his queen but shit still hurts!!!!

I think he was trying to say I Love You....

Drogon is back I guess...

ARYA STARK YALL...Ned would be so fucking proud <3

Melisandre wtf??? Are they gonna tell us who she is or what?????

THIS EPISODE WAS JUST WOW HOLY SHIT I AM SHOOKETH.

Imma just go build a shrine for Arya Stark brb.

[corvusclassified]

corbin valentines date adventures continue

featuring @sorcieresque and @soaprulez

corvusdoofus hey u wanna go to the dance together? doesnt have to be like a date-date but it was fun hanging out with you at the dream dance so

sorcieresque So you don't /want/ it to be a date?

corvusdoofus i was assuming U wouldnt want it to be a date since youre like, only shrodongers into guys but i guess if u wanted it 2 be a date it could

sorcieresque Oh, Mr. Doofus, oh. What a gracious offer. My heart is deliquescing with the chance I've been given... My soul is soaring with the possibility of agency. There is nothing quite as hot as unabashed tepidness.

corvusdoofus okaaaaay i get it its not the most romantic way to ask someone to a dance lol i just thought itd be fun to go together

sorcieresque Thank you. I already have a date, but we shan't let that stop us from causing chaos and mischief. >:)

corvusdoofus lol cool hope u have fun w/ ur date and i guess ill see u there!

sorcieresque Save me a dance.

corvusdoofus u got it

soaprulez hey uhhhhhhhhhhh idk if ur going with anyone else already but WOULD U WANT TO GO DO THE DANCE JUST AS FRIENDS

sorry if this is stupid and weird LOL you probably already have a date i just dk who to ask

everyone i talk to is like way older than me i dont talk 2 anyone in my grade for some reason i dont think they like me SRRY IM NOT TRYING TO GUILT TRIP U THAT SOUNDED WEIRD U CAN TOTALLY SAY NO ITS OK augh im fucking this up lmfaoooooooooo

corvusdoofus lool dont worry about it yeah we can go 2gether!!!! itd suck that u dont get to go just cause the other people in your grade are dicks

soaprulez omg cool itll be so much fun i promise! i dont think theyre dicks so much theyr just dont really talk to me idk lol ive never really hung out with friends my own age i always fucked around with the older kids

NOT 2 SOUND LIKE '''OOHHHH IM 2 COOL  2 HANG OUT IWTH OTHER TEENS' or whatever IDK it sjust the older kids r like nicer to me idk why

corvusdoofus i cant say why for like, ur past friends, but i think the kids ur age at wsc have all been here for AGES and all know each other real well so they probs dont want to hang w/ a new kid they dont know well

soaprulez thats fair i.g. i guess theres probably like. kids with monstery parents who like KNOW theyre monsters tha whole time and get 2 grow up here? seems prettyyyy cool. i always moved around a bunch so i never got to stick with 1 group of people long enough to be super tite u get the best of EVERYTHING tho u just get to come and go like whenver that rocks

corvusdoofus yeah apart from when the school didnt let me LEAVE during xmas break and anyways i think being in one place too long makes u stuck up just look at my sis and her friends

soaprulez hahahahaha lol i guess they have 2 have SOME ruels here seems weird that thats where they draw the line though

oooo tru ur sister spooky af

ANYWAY i am xcited! thanks for agreeing 2 go with me instead of a date ... if theres anyone else u want to like get close w/ while were there tho i can like skulk off at the actual dance

corvusdoofus loool thanks but i dont think thats gonna happen

soaprulez oohhhhhh :( ruff day?

corvusdoofus i guess???? theres just not really anyone im really clicking with romantic-ways u know?

soaprulez o boy yeah i do know

corvusdoofus like daisy did say 2 save a dance for her. but also, shes daisy, so thats probably just a plot for wild hijinks

soaprulez sometimes i like get stupid dumb crushes on people but then i think about ACTUALLY dating them and its like i legiterally cant even picture it bcus im like. IDK i dont feel like a real person half the time im like a mascot god daisy is so cool i cant believe she even talks 2 me like shes kinda craaazzyy but its like cool

corvusdoofus lol shes mad wild and like maybe a lil evil idk but shes funny but like weird funny u gotta realize most of what she says is jokes

soaprulez IDKKKK like maybe a little evil but like ok ok ok ok if u have ever been in the foster system youll kno theres some FUCCCKED UP PEOPLE out tehre like i never had 2 live with any but ive heard some shit so daisys like weird mean pranks and blood rituals or w/e are just like . . . whatever i cant tell whats jokes and whats serious or not but i figure if i just go along w/ everything itll at leat be funny

corvusdoofus yeah thats probably right

soaprulez lol anyway c u there i guess!!!

corvusdoofus yeah! tho are u gonna do smash w/ me and hymie 2nite?

soaprulez OH SHIT i didnt see him ask i am SO down

corvusdoofus check ur texts dude!

soaprulez shiiit i completely missed that with all ths v day stuff on the brain hell yeah im in

corvusdoofus see u there

soaprulez yeah!!! l8rzz

[pinkletterday]

The Flash 5x4!!!

I am HYPED, you guys! FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT'S UP WITH MOMMA AND BABY.

Whatever it is Im going to deeply empathize with and love both of them.

Idk who this stupid af bitch is running straight into a blazing hail of fireballs and trying to take selfies but I hate her.

Iris. Iris. Baby. Hahahahaha Nora knows what a disaster her Mom is in the kitchen. I love you sfm Iris.

Hey Nora this version of your Mom just met you so hold back on the teenage sass, okay?

Ok this isnt funny anymore my heart is aching for Iris.

Young lady sit back down and eat that breakfast your Mom made for you.

"Make you a banana" lmaoooo this is why Barry does all the cooking. Gawd I love the domesticity.

I love that Iris can't cook. It just adds to her perfection. I guess I really am a fool in love, huh?

Oh God this guy. Shut up shut up shut up. Did this buffoon just call Cisco Ramon not brave???

I wish Ralph would take the lead here. That's right, I like Ralph now. This season is magic.

I would find this softball thing adorkable and hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that Barry is literally the Flash. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Would have been much more interesting if Barry had turned into a star athlete overnight and everyone just boggled.

Otoh it provides an interesting (read: hilarious) look at their dynamic growing up. Their different dorknesses cancel each other out.

I am irked. Why is the Flash a hopeless athlete? HE CATCHES KNIVES OUT OF THE AIR. How does he just switch off his co-ordination?

Kinda nice seeing all the ladies together like that though. Cecile is a gift.

NORA IS A GAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A BABY QUEER IN THE HOUSE aaaaaand you are seriously trying my patience here. Be rude to your mother one more time. See how that goes.

Oooh Momma Bear is on the case! *hearteyes*

See, Baby Giraffe is already better at this than The Fraudulent Frenchie.

I hate to say it but based on that lumberjane chic I think we have another queer in the house. But this one we don't want.

Loool "like her size extra small". I hate to say it but thats a way better reason for her codename than "excess" ugh.

No it was different because she never knowingly put the people she was writing about in danger you asshat. God I wish you weren't so pretty.

Another black man wrongly accused. What up, America.

...Joe what. You guys. Jesse Martin looks bad. IS HE OKAY I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.

Momma coaching Baby through speedster things! Because Barry taught her that one time she was a speedster. I can't handle this. My heart.

She FINALLY thanked her! Iris's smile.

My girls. I can't.

OMG SOMEONE REMEMBERS EARLY EDITION! I loved that show!

Also. Iris West, ace reporter, always better than fake hoes. Watch and learn, padawan.

Am sad we're not getting any Cisco Ramon. I hope Carlos is enjoying his mini-vacay. Otoh, I really like that Caitlin is included in the West-Allen circle this ep.

I wonder why Nora doesnt call Cait and Cisco Aunt and Uncle. They must be the godparents.

It's okay Ralph. Some leads don't pan out. If Shitloque was an actual detective he'd know that.

But I love that the heroes of Central City can walk around in public and interact freely. Oliver's team would need to break in and scare the bejesus out of some poor unsuspecting sod.

NORA IS A DISASTER LESBIAN CONFIRMED. Or probably a disaster bi like her Dad. I AM LOVIN' THIS.

THAT MOMENT WHEN THE PENNY DROPS FOR BARRY THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS A GAY LMAOOO

Fuck I love that Iris never even blinked when Nora said Spencer was cute. She probably sussed it way before. I love you Momma West-Allen.

Oh no oh no I was right. Iris pulled a Joe West. Goddamn it. I mean I get why, I get how traumatized and scared she must have been but IRIS NO YOU DON'T LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN TO PROTECT THEM. Remember how you felt when your Dad did that to you?

I am legit heartbroken, you guys. I really wanted to be wrong. I blame Joe West's goddamn patriarchal shitty parenting for perpetuating this cycle of lies.

I swear to God if this show tries to justify lying and manipulating your kid again I'm going to give up on it. It's triggering as all fuck (I still havent recovered from S1 and 2) and I need Iris to be held accountable when she fucks up, not let her turn into another Fefe who can do no wrong.

Jesus Christ Iris, trying to force a conversation with Nora by invading her privacy and ignoring her need for space is not okay. BOUNDARIES, girl.

Oh okay but she's holding herself accountable thank fuck. I mean, Barry's right she can't be blamed for what she might do in the future but IT'S STILL WRONG.

I was actually shaking. Friendly reminder that survivors of parental abuse and manipulation are also watching this show, some of us with CPTSD.

"What if my Dad did something like that to you"?? Er. Iris? Remember when he lied to you for twenty years about your mother being dead and you didn't talk to him for six months?

Oh here we go. You've stood there like a gormless beanpole for three episodes without so much as trying to intervene Barry and this is how you choose to comfort your wife. Not "yes, it's a bad thing and we can't know what led you to the choices future you made but in the here and now you know not to. We can learn from the future and make different choices, Iris."

PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT, CAITLIN.

...I just meant for frightening Caitlin, but he actually wants to be punched?

Ooooh that was satisfying! Pretty sure her form was all wrong but can't argue with the results.

I love how fucking competent Iris is??? She knows how to use the entire STAR Labs tech arsenal. Although that Vibe device kinda defeats the whole purpose of breechers. It's like if they had a device lying around that could give just anyone super speed.

Not sure how Spencer thinks XS can kill Flash. One's a n00b and the other is veteran.

Wait, Baby Flash can do what now?

I don't like that they had to dumb Barry down so much to give Iris a chance to shine. A couple can both be competent at the same time! It's called being a power couple! Not one-half Idiot Ball couple!

So her phone got powers? Huh??

Ah yes. Dark Matter. More multi-purpose than Quantum.

Okay cool Ralph is getting his due. "Less right" LOL

"That puts meta-human powers in the hands of anyone" kinda like having a Breeching device, no?

We have meta-humans, meta-phones, meta-daggers (a tech dagger??) HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THE DARK MATTER HIT A HOME DEPOT?? How many people now have meta-vacuum cleaners? Meta-dishwashers?? Meta-can openers??

Oh God. No. Not this.

No. You do not lie and manipulate your kids to protect them. You do not do that. Love is no justification.

Don't Barry don't. Stop stop.

I can't watch this. FUCK YOU.

FOR GOD'S SAKE SHE'S CRYING AND SHAKING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO COMFORT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL SAFE NOT STAND ON YOUR PILE OF BULLSHIT WITHOUT GIVING A FLYING FUCK.

No, cry all you want. I have no sympathy for either one of you callous asshats. You fucking destroyed that girl. Fuck Joe West for having raised you to think this way.

Yeah no Joe West is not who you want to go to in these matters, Nora.

I don't even care about Cicada anymore.

I should have known this show would never get any less gross.

Look, I was fully prepared to be sympathetic to Iris, traumatized, alone and single mother to a meta-child in a dangerous world to have made some bad decisions. And I do empathize. But I wasn't prepared for present-day Barry and Iris to justify and rationalize that shit. I thought they were going to say "That was a bad thing your Mom did. I'm sure she thought she was protecting you but she may have lost sight of how much it hurts to have your choices taken away from you. But I'm not that woman, Nora. I know I could never bear to see you hurting like this. I can still make better choices. Please give me a chance?"

Not "No I am your Mom and everything I do is right and good because I love you, I'm sorry if you feel hurt about it but them's the facts."

They did this when Barry and Joe lied to Iris all through S1, when Joe lied to Iris about her mother. This show is still all about apologia for lying and manipulation because LOVE AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND TO PROTECT YOU BY DISRESPECTING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU AND TAKING AWAY YOUR AGENCY.

Parental love is not a justification. Most abuse takes place at the hands of parents who really believe they're doing it for their children's protection. Please never say "your parents have every right to hurt you to protect you because they love you". Do you even care at all.

I'm not okay. Gonna take a break from fandom for a while. Can't deal with people taking Iris's side to protect their Westallen feels. Fuck both of them.

I'm posting this but please don't engage me to argue about it. Massively triggered.

[vera-invenire]

VnC Liveblog - Chapter 7

.All chapter liveblogs are linked HERE.

Hey, note for people following along: the last two chapters (5 and 6) didn’t show up on the main Vanitas no Carte tags because Tumblr filters out any posts that have outside links in them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But they’re done and the links for them are right up there. ^

Now, on to chapter 7!

Methinks MochiJun is running out of art for the chapter covers. That’s okay, I like this guy’s face.

OH MY GOD ARE WE GETTING WORLDBUILDING I AM EXCITED

So. Paracelsus. Famed physician and alchemist, called the Luther of medicine. He’s got a wikipedia page that I’m not gonna link to here *shakes tiny fist at tumblr* but probably the most interesting thing about him (if not the most important, in this context) is that ‘Paracelsus’ was his pen name. His real name?

Theophrastus von Hohenheim. Yeah. That von Hohenheim. Or at least the original one he was named after.

More pertinent, I think, is the fact that Paracelsus was a doctor, like our main character. He had a reputation for disdaining conventional medical thought (as this was the 1500s, this was not unwarranted) and for prioritizing practical experience over unproven theories preached by people with silly titles. Going by Vanitas’ fight with Orlok, I think he would have liked Paracelsus.

With Paracelsus involved, we now have a timeline for Babel -- it occurred sometime during the first half of the 1500s, creating vampires, astermite, the border, and, apparently, a number of disasters.

(the sudden appearance of vampires among the human population might have been disastrous enough, but I wonder if there were other things that were thrown out of wack.)

I don’t...quite get this formula business yet, so I’m gonna wait to comment on that until it’s more clear.

Nice job breaking it, Hohenheim.

This is like the tenth time the church has been mentioned, when are they gonna show up?

Hello, Creepy Teacher. Still without eyes, I see.

But not all coal and not all humans were altered.

And what is that on Teacher’s lapel, a clock with wings --

...time flies. You think you’re clever, don’t you.

...he’s planning on using Noé, the last Archiviste. Noé is key to something. What are you planning, Creepy Teacher.

Memoire 7 Bal Masque

Night of Sneering Masks

Lord Ruthven has a real swanky place, don’t he.

On the one hand, I want to go to a ball like this. On the other, it is full of vampires. Who, admittedly, seem like fairly decent people on average -- when they’re not losing their minds and going on murderous rampages.

Kinda looks like the Charlatan parade, though, no?

Hm, Domi is a bit shorter than Noé than I thought she was.

...wait, wait, wait, hold up. let’s zoom in here.

that’s Domi??? that looks like Unnerving Boy. crap, is she Unnerving Boy? i was joking about that before.

Glad I’m not the only one making that connection. The narrative wants this decadence to remind us of Charlatan. re: we shouldn’t trust it.

Domi: That guy’s gonna keep a low profile, right?

Vanitas: *seducing ALL the ladies at the ball*

Y’all knew he was an unrepentant grandstander. What did you expect.

(note: Vanitas knows sleight of hand)

(note: vampires can smell humans)

Hahahahaha, “I don’t understand how vampires define ‘friend’“ is my new favorite line, right along with “several different kinds of unfortunate”.

So my question is, can he only see the memories while he’s drinking? Or can he revisit them whenever he wants?

Vanitas adapted to the usefulness of that collar real quick.

I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, I KNEW THAT DUM-DUM WOULD LEAVE THESE TWO ALONE AND SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN

this is gonna be good

So spoketh Dominique de Sade. Never has a character been more aptly named.

(yo, is that Ada’s iron maiden. and a tortured stuffed white rabbit in the corner, too. the spirit of Vincent is alive and well.)

Meanwhile...Noé has found a new toy.

precious cinnamon roll, too pure, etc etc

ohoho, I think we know this kid.

HI, LUCA. And Jeanne can’t be that far away.

These guys are bodyguards, or retainers? Dressed like plague doctors, nice touch.

Luca (Lucius?), this is the man who held you hostage, why you lying.

Uh-oh. Something is clearly wrong with Jeanne.

...you might even say, she should probably see a doctor. *baddum-ting* (I think she’d prefer to die of consumption)

But it seems to be something she’s suffered from before? Is it her breathing or her throat?

Likely the same sister who lent Domi the collar and chain. Sister has interesting hobbies.

“I was all excited!” Yeah, this game is gonna be called Ha Ha, Surprise, I’m Kinkier Than You.

Point, Vanitas.

But Domi rallies nicely.

This is where we start getting real; Domi doesn’t fuck around when it comes to Noé. But does she really need to threaten to carve out Vanitas’ eye with a knife??

...throw more knives at him, Domi.

This is why you need to learn to keep your mouth shut, Vanitas. (also check the misogyny, I don’t want you to turn into Vincent, please)

She brings up some very good points.

Ooo, and it looks like something she said hit home. ...or one of the knives stabbed him. Nah, the black border means a brief flashback of some kind.

...Vanitas hates the Vampire of the Blue Moon. Well, well.

So why did he take his name?? And his Book???

(omg, did he steal the Book)

He’s cracked. He’s gonna do something stupid and/or reckless.

HE’S GONNA THROW HIMSELF BACKWARD OFF THE BALCONY. 

Well, he did say he was gonna get their attention.

(”you’re worried about Vanitas? you should be worried about me.” “no, wait, i mean, i’m here to save vampires. yes. out of the goodness of my bitter heart.”)

The chandelier’s made of bones, it’s a vampire ball, why wouldn’t it be.

Poor Domi’s like, ‘crap, I pushed the punk too far.’

The cajones on this kid.

Like, seriously, isn’t he supposed to be hiding the fact that he’s human...?

This is revenge for always wandering off and disappearing, Noé.

The gloves are coming off again and this time it’s not a bluff.

Holy crap, that’s a lot more extensive than I thought it’d be. Looks a lot like the moon and spider-webbed sky above Altus Paris, doesn’t it? And this mark is lower on his arm than we saw earlier.

Actually, let’s go back and compare. This is from chapter 4 --

So in chapter 4, we saw marks on his left arm. But...is it the same kind of mark? And how many marks does he have?

Branding is something you do to livestock.

The eyes look like the moon look like the brand. (ha, how much you want to bet the moon over Altus Paris is red and Vanitas’ mark is blue)

And the hourglass is front and center once again. He wears that thing for a reason and that reason is connected to the Vampire of the Blue Moon.

So was he really granted some kind of power, or is this another bluff? Then again, the power could be the ability to use the Book.

I’m starting to think the Vampire of the Blue Moon isn’t the only one who hates vampires...

(”fighting monsters is best left to other monsters”)

I would not trust a doctor who looked at me with a face like that, i’m just saying

And now this crusade to save the vampires makes much more sense.

In doing this, not only will Vanitas get the pleasure of having the vampires he’s curing at his mercy, but with each vampire he saves he sticks it to the Vampire of the Blue Moon.

This was never a charitable cause. This is a fuck you to the entire world, the original Vanitas in particular.

Everyone: “oh shit, this guy’s even crazier than we thought.”

Did he...not mean to say that part out loud...? Or did he see something in the crowd?

Guess we find out next chapter! Which is -- HERE.