#half bricked wrong time challenge

[jessthebaker]

By the Gods

This is for the gorgeous @beefrobeefcal 's Half Bricked, Wrong Time February Prompt Challenge!

I've never written for Oberyn before, this is barely titled, no beta, minimal editing, I don't know if it's crack or serious or both, but I'm yeeting this out into the world and running away again. Enjoy!

word count 1.6k

rating: Mature (duh, it's Oberyn)

“Oh, Seven, not again.” Oberyn mutters as he opens his email and sees a message from HR waiting for him. It’s right at the very top, with the little red exclamation marks to denote High Importance. Oberyn hates those exclamation marks. They only seem to turn up when he’s done something that he deems (personally) perfectly appropriate. But HR never seems to think so.

The head of HR is a man Oberyn loathes but can’t seem to get away from. Oberyn doesn’t hate his job, rather he quite likes it. He likes what he does and he’s good at it. But dealing with HR is another story.

The HR manager, Ty Lane, is an older man with a bad case of resting grump face. He constantly looked as if, if he wore glasses, he’d be glaring at you over the top of them. Quietly, Oberyn thinks Ty looks like an angry, elderly lion.

Oberyn sighs as he skims over the details of Ty’s email. Date, time, place, all the usual. Current infraction: ‘Inappropriate workplace relations’. What else was new? Oberyn has a feeling he knows which particular circumstance this one was referencing.

Last week he had been daydreaming at his desk when he noticed you walking past his cubicle. Of course he noticed you. He found you incredibly attractive; the way you walked, the confidence with which you moved, the defiance in your eyes that said “I’m here and if you don’t like it, fuck off.” Oberyn appreciated confidence.

You were fairly new in the office. He hadn’t seen you around before about last month, yet you had already made a name for yourself though with the quality of the work you turned in. The management were impressed with your quiet efficiency and the way you didn’t overtly call attention to yourself. But somehow you demanded respect and by the gods, you got it.

On this particular occasion, he couldn’t take his eyes off your ass. You’d caught him staring, given him a wink and a little extra swish of your hips as you passed.

So how could anybody reasonably blame Oberyn for admiring such a perfect specimen of a human ass? Yours was perfect. He had to get a better look. You had practically told him to look.

And yet, apparently someone blamed him for looking. Because now he has that damned email from Ty Lane sitting in his inbox, waiting for that Read Receipt, confirming his appearance at the next mandatory workplace training.

He clicks Accept with another sigh. Then he gathers his thoughts for the rest of his workday.

At the appointed day and time, Oberyn finds himself sitting in a half-circle made of uncomfortably straight-backed chairs with a few other co-workers who, he supposed, had been dobbed in for similar infractions as he was. And...you. Why in the Mother’s name were YOU in here too? Oberyn’s mind wandered as he let himself imagine the myriad reasons you might have been called into this awful torture session.

Mr Lane was droning through his PowerPoint presentation detailing all those things you were and weren’t supposed to do in the workplace. And all the things you were and weren’t supposed to do with your coworkers. And...was that...was that? Celine Dion’s voice singing as background music?

Where does my heart beat now? Where is the sound That only echoes through the night?

Oberyn is trying to pay attention, he really is. His mind wanders again. To you. You’re just so...sexy. Confident. So perfect. So sultry as you just go about your day. The unwitting reason he’s in this room in the first place. He tries to keep his eyes to himself, but he can’t resist glancing over at you for a peek. Fuck. You’re openly watching him, not even trying to be subtle. You give Oberyn a wink and flick your eyes forward again. Pretending to pay attention to Ty’s boring slideshow.

Next time Oberyn looks over to you, he’s ready. You’re looking at him again and this time, he drops you a wink of his own. He sees your cheeks darken slightly and your eyes flash momentarily.

Where does my heart beat now? I can't live without, without feeling it inside I've need someone to give my heart to

Oberyn’s imagination strolls off again at what you might be thinking about. He only comes back to himself as he hears someone saying his name. Mr Lane. It sounds as if it’s not the first time he’s said it. Shit.

Oberyn senses a dreadful feeling of his pants growing tight. And he feels the unmistakeable tingling of his cock making itself known.

I feel it getting stronger and stronger and stronger, yeah And I feel inside Hearts are made to last till the end of time

His cock is definitely growing harder and he can feel it pulsing to the beat of Celine’s song. Shit.

Ty is speaking now. “Mr Martell, would you join us to role-play out the scenario we’ve been discussing. Please come up to the front. Your partner will be --” and he said the worst possible choice for partner: your name.

Oberyn’s brain stops briefly. His cock is at full mast and he knows it’ll be visible through the soft linen pants he prefers to wear. There’s no way he should be standing up right now, in front of a room full of people at a fucking sexual harassment meeting of all times. With YOU.

He puts on his most sincere face and attempts sanity. “Mr Lane, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Ty’s eyes narrow. “Oberyn, you are here and participation is mandatory. Get up here.”

“Mr Lane….being reasonable, this isn’t something you really want me to do right now.”

“Martell. NOW.”

Oberyn sighs. “Alright. Just remember, this is what you wanted.”

He stands and walks to the space at the front of the room. Ty’s attention has turned to you now as you walk up to join Oberyn, so he misses seeing the obvious tent in Oberyn’s pants. As you and Oberyn reach the front together and turn to face your audience, a gasp breaks the silence and a few snorts erupt from those watching. Oberyn’s mouth half-lifts up in a smirk.

Ty is not having it.

“People, we are all adults and we are here for a reason. Settle down, please. You two,” He gestures to the two of you with an exasperated wave of his hand. “continue. Now.”

In the scenario you and Oberyn are attempting to recreate, one employee is making unwanted advances toward the co-worker. The other is supposed to be shutting it down and ending the interaction before reporting it to HR. Oberyn expected he would be taking the role of the unwanted aggressor, given his reputation, but you surprise him by immediately starting with that role. Forcing him to take the receiving role.

“Well, hell-oooo gorgeous, how have I never seen YOU around here before? Where have you been hiding this incredible body?” You step closer and riffle the collar of his shirt, which (as usual) was barely hanging on to his shoulders due to its missing top three buttons.

He’s stunned. He can’t tell if you’re just a very good actor, or if you’re being serious. He hopes it’s the latter. His cock desperately adds its vote for the latter too.

Ty is silently shooting daggers at Oberyn as he tries to catch up and deliver his expected lines. “uh, why, hello, I don’t really -”

You continue as if he hadn’t said a word, and take another step closer. “You know, it’s really a shame we don’t work in the same department. We could be spending a lot - more - time - together,” as your first two fingers walk down the front of his buttonband and pause just above his waistband.

Oberyn didn’t think it was possible but his cock is growing even harder. You’re up close in his space, he can smell the scent of your hair, and the gleam in your eyes is practically shouting at him to bed you. He’s so hard it aches. He can’t think straight. What have you done to him? He’s supposed to be the office rogue, but here you are practically fucking him with your eyes in front of a room full of people.

He takes a breath. Finds his control. Takes a step back and grasps your hand and gently moves it back down to your side.

He says the lines expected of him, “This is neither the time nor the place, and I’m afraid you are making me uncomfortable. Please stop.” His voice is serious, but his eyes are locked with yours in flirtatious challenge. His hand is still holding yours and he’s making no effort to let go now that the act is over.

You’ve both fallen silent, standing stock-still, your eyes are still locked onto each other. A frission passes between you and suddenly the tension ebbs as Ty’s voice floats out as if from a distance. “Finally, thank you. You may sit down now.”

You and Oberyn startle back to your senses with Ty’s voice. Your glance flickers down at Oberyn’s crotch and his cock jumps in response. Oberyn squeezes your hand with another smirk. You take the obvious invitation and practically drag Oberyn out the door by the hand. You’ve both bolted so quickly that the door slams and bangs back open, swaying with the breeze of your passing.

Ty stares after you, dumbfounded, while the remaining participants in the room are giggling and whispering amongst themselves.

Poor Mr Lane. He can’t decide whether to follow you both and start proceedings now, or let you get it out of your systems first. He shakes his head and shuffles his paperwork before sighing to himself, “fucking Martells.”

[galway-girlatwork]

Tinsel and Turkey Vultures

Fandom: Bloodsucking Bastards

Rating: Mature-A dumpster fire of giggles and smut  

Central Characters: Max and Aria

Word Count: 1,567

AO3

Music Inspiration: S&M-Rhianna

Please do not copy my work. If you liked it, please re-blog and tag me. Please do not steal my mood board. Stealing is just WRONG. I do not give permission to copy, translate, or post my work to any other platform.

This was written for @beefrobeefcal Half Bricked, Wrong Time February Prompt Challenge. It is a dumpster fire but well I think it is funny. Not your shot of whisky, scroll on by. If you want a giggle, give it a read.  

Aria had been looking forward to this date for weeks. The zoo’s annual Christmas Lights was the kind of festive, event that made his girl light up like, well… a string of Christmas lights. He wasn’t the biggest holiday guy, being the undead, he’d been through so many holidays, that it was now cliché but he’d do anything to see her smile and the way her nose scrunched when she was excited.

The night air was crisp, carrying the scent of smores, hot chocolate and animal shit. He did all the “boyfriend” things as they walked hand in hand, trying to act normal in the crowd. Of course, she knew what he was, trusting him to “be good” as she put it. She had way more faith than he did, as they stopped, so she could admire the twinkling tunnels of color and the way the glowing reindeer displays cast long shadows over the pathways. It was all very romantic. Well as romantic as it could be for someone like him but then came the Turkey Vulture Incident.

Aria, being the weird little nerd she was, loved birds—especially the creepy, misunderstood ones, so when she saw the Birds of Prey exhibit lit up in shimmering blue icicle lights, she gasped.

“Oh my god, Max! Look! The vultures are still out!” she squealed, dragging him toward the enclosure as he wondered how in the hell, she’d gotten under his skin so much that he was even here.

Max wasn’t against birds, per se. But turkey vultures? They looked like something you’d summon in a séance gone horribly wrong. Bald, beady-eyed, and perpetually hunched like they were plotting world domination. Still, Aria was practically vibrating with excitement, so he went along with it.

Watching as she leaned against the railing, eyes growing wide as one of the big birds fluffed its massive, dark wings. “They’re so cool,” she whispered in awe. “Did you know they pee on their own legs to stay cool in the summer?”

Max blinked. “What? I could have gone my whole existence without knowing that.”

Laughing, nudging him with her hip. “Come on, they’re kind of beautiful. Look at the wingspan on that one.”

Sighing, he turned his gaze to the vulture in question, perched on a wooden beam, wings half-spread, silhouetted by the multicolored glow of a nearby Christmas tree. And okay, the wingspan was impressive—sleek, dark feathers stretching out in a way that, weirdly, looked… powerful. Commanding. Almost—

Oh, fucking shit.

He felt it before he even had time to process what was happening. A slow, warm pulse of arousal creeping in, uninvited and completely uncalled for. His entire body betraying him, and he realized with dawning horror that he was sporting a full, undeniable erection.

At a turkey vulture exhibit.

On a date.

With Celine fucking Dion Christmas music playing in the background.

What the actual fuck?

Why was this happening now? It was a god damn bird for Christ’s sake.

Panic set in as he shifted awkwardly, shoving his hands deep into his coat pockets, desperately trying to will the situation away. Not now, not here, for the love of Santa Claus and everything holy.

She turned to him, still glowing with enthusiasm. “Isn’t it amazing how misunderstood they are?”

He coughed. “Yeah. Super misunderstood.”

 “Are you okay? You look like you’re in pain.”

“I’m great. Loving the birds. Big fan. Let’s maybe keep walking.”

“Wait, before we go, you have to see them with their wings fully extended. It’s so majestic.” She grabbed his arm, pulling him closer. “I think that one’s about…oh look! There it is!”

Max could hardly breathe as the vulture did in fact extend its wings fully, showcasing an intimidatingly vast, sleek frame.

A deep, primal part of his brain misfired.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

She turned towards him again, eyes full of wonder. “Isn’t that just the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”

Max swallowed hard. “Yep. Absolutely. Stunning.”

His body, however, very much agreed, and he nearly whimpered.

He watched as she narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m totally fine. Actually, I just remembered I left something in the car. Super important. We should go. Right now.”

“What did you leave in the—wait, why are you walking like that?”

Gritting his teeth an exasperated sigh left his lips. “No reason.”

Oh, but she was so was sharp, one of the reasons he was with her, it was sexy as hell which didn’t help the issue he was having right now. She stepped in front of him, eyes flicking downward. And then, slowly, a wicked grin spread across her face.

“No,” she whispered. “No way.”

Max groaned. “Aria, please.”

She gasped dramatically, too dramatically if you asked him. “Max Phillips, are you turned on right now? At the turkey vultures?”

“Shhhh!” He grabbed her wrist, frantically scanning the area to make sure no one heard. “I don’t know what happened, okay? It just—happened!”

She doubled over, cackling, making him wonder if he should just drain her dry like a blood bag. This was not supposed to be happening. He was supposed to be in control.

 “Oh my god! This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He groaned, mentally preparing himself for the next hundred years of teasing. “Can we just—forget this? Move on?”

She wiped away a tear, still giggling. “Oh, babe. Never.”

And with that, she grabbed his hand, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Come on. Let’s go find some hot chocolate and never speak of this again.”

But he knew she was absolutely speaking of this again. Forever.

A low growl came from deep within his chest as he took her hand, practically dragging her down the path until he found someplace quiet, steeped in darkness. Lips dragging down her throat as he pressed her against brick of the reptile house.

“Oh my fucking god Max, not again.” But he knew her protests were as fake as the Christmas trees that filled the zoo.

Hips pressed into hers as he inhaled her scent, grinding himself into her, causing friction between them, knowing she could feel the hardness of him against the heat of her. Soft moans uttered from her, had fingers tunneling through her hair as his mouth found hers, tongue demanding entrance into the wetness of her mouth, hands digging into his hips, so she could grind against him. Movements sending waves of pleasure coursing through them, he could smell her arousal, seeping from her pores, as he broke contact. Her pupils were blown, breath coming in gasps as he hiked up her skirt, fingers curling and ripping the fabric. He pressed his forehead against hers, feeling her slick as he cupped her mound. “Fuck. Leg. Now.” He could see a plump bottom lip, tucked between her teeth, as his hands slid to her ass, lifting her up, long legs wrapping around him. Nimble fingers undid his jeans, before she began stroking his length, his name sounding like desperate pleas. With one stroke he was buried deep, teeth now scraping along the vein of her neck. He filled her so completely; he could hear the sharp intake of breath. Each snap of his hips, sent shockwaves through her, causing her wet cunt to spasm around him. “Feed me baby.”  

Turning her head, exposing the slim column of her neck to him, eyes wide, riding the high he was giving her, teeth sank in, filling his mouth with the warm coppery taste of her. Years of practice let him know how much he could take before she passed out or he changed her. But right now, the only thought in his head: MINE.  

The world around them dissolved into chaos, Christmas lights blurring together like fireworks exploding in the sky. Her vision began to tunnel, focus narrowing on the sensation of Max's lips on her skin, his cock making a mess of her, before she felt his tongue against her neck, wide swipes, licking over the marks. Lost and drowning in sensations caused by this untamed thing unleashed deep within Max.

Max's grip on her tightened, holding her in place as he feasted on her. God the way she tasted against his tongue, was better than any drug a junkie could get. “Come on baby. Let go.” He could feel it, the second she came, face buried in his neck, nails digging into his shoulders, trying so damn hard not to scream. He could feel his balls tightening against him just before he came, the last thrust deep and hard, as he whispered against her. “So, fucking amazing.”

It took a couple of minutes before they put themselves together, an arm around her waist, holding her against him, her steps unsteady as they decided it was time to go home. “Sated?” she asked.

Lips brushing against hers, a smirk, lifting the corner of his mouth. “Baby, that was just the appetizer.”

Three months later-

He stared at the box on his desk, hands rubbing over his face in frustration, slightly embarrassed, if that was possible. It was his Valentines present from Aria. Nestled within the white tissue paper was a stuffed animal, a single sheet of information and a thank you card. In his name, she’d adopted an animal from the zoo…A turkey vulture named Fred.

@beefrobeefcal @almostfoxglove @guiltyasdave @secretelephanttattoo @604to647 @morallyinept @jolapeno @littlemisspascal @whocaresstillthelouvre @toomanystoriessolittletime @iamasaddie @clawdee

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[mattsghoul]

⋮ ♯ ZENITH & MAK'S KINKY HOUR ; ⤷ TENTACLES .ᐟ

ㅤㅤㅤ ...ㅤ FEAT. CHRIS STURNIOLO ❞

WARNINGS: nsfw. smut. explicit content. tentacle kink. dildo play. oral sex. anal play. overstimulation. established relationship.

the night was warm, the kind that made your skin stick to itself, and chris and y/n were still buzzing from their movie date at a rundown cinema downtown; they’d watched some bizarre japanese action flick—tentacle terror: rise of the kraken—all fast cuts, bad dubbing, and a giant octopus wreaking havoc. 

chris, in his usual getup (baggy jeans, a faded vans tee, and a backward snapback), had spent half the movie whispering dumb jokes in y/n’s ear, his hand sneaking to her thigh during the quieter scenes. but he’d noticed something—y/n’s breath hitching, her legs squeezing together, her cheeks flushing every time that damn octopus’s tentacles slithered across the screen, wrapping around screaming actors in ways that were… suspiciously kinky. he didn’t say shit, just filed it away, his grin growing as they left the theater, her hand tucked in his, her denim skirt swishing as they walked to her apartment.

it was chris’s first time at y/n’s place, a small, cluttered studio in a converted warehouse, all exposed brick and fairy lights, with a couch covered in throw blankets and a kitchenette piled with takeout containers. they’d been dating a few months—long enough for chris to know she was freaky in bed but not how freaky. 

“your place is dope,” he said, kicking off his scuffed vans, his eyes scanning the posters of indie bands and neon signs. y/n, in her white blouse and skirt, laughed, tossing her purse on the counter, her hair a mess from chris’s fingers in the theater.

“bathroom’s down the hall, second door on the right,” she said, grabbing a soda from the fridge, her voice casual but her cheeks still pink from the movie. 

chris nodded, sauntering off, but his directionally challenged ass fucked it up, pushing open the first door instead. he froze, his jaw dropping, snapback tilting as he took in the sight.

the room was small, lit by a single red bulb, and it was a goddamn kink dungeon: a black velvet curtain hung on one wall, a shelf held neatly coiled ropes, a riding crop, and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, and a drawer was cracked open, revealing a collection of toys—vibrators, plugs, and… holy shit, a silicone octopus tentacle dildo, all suction cups and tapered curves, glowing faintly under the light. chris’s eyes widened, his cock twitching in his jeans, a slow, filthy grin spreading across his face. 

“oh, she was not kidding about those tentacles,” he muttered, thinking back to the movie, his mind racing with ideas.

he grabbed the tentacle dildo, its weight heavy and slick in his hand, and sauntered back to the living room, holding it behind his back, his grin pure mischief. y/n was sprawled on the couch, sipping her soda, oblivious, until she saw his expression—half-teasing, half-hungry. 

“what’s that look?” she asked, her voice wary, her thighs pressing together instinctively.

chris flopped onto the couch, leaning close, his breath hot against her ear. “so, uh, i might’ve gone to the wrong room,” he said, his voice low, playful, pulling the dildo out and dangling it between them, the suction cups glinting. y/n’s eyes widened, her soda nearly slipping, her face flushing crimson as she scrambled to sit up.

“chris, oh my god, i—fuck, it’s not what it looks like,” she stammered, her hands flying to her face, her heart pounding with dread. she was sure he’d laugh, mock her, or worse, bolt—her kinks laid bare, too weird, too much. but chris just chuckled, his laugh warm, not cruel, his hand cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing her lip.

“babe, you think i’m gonna clown you for this?” he said, his voice soft but dripping with want, his eyes dark. “that movie had you squirming, and now i find this? fuck, i’m into it.” he tossed the dildo onto the couch, pulling her into his lap, her skirt riding up, his hands gripping her thighs. “wanna play with it? because i’m down to make you scream.”

y/n’s breath hitched, relief and arousal crashing through her, her pussy already wet from the movie and now this—chris, her boyfriend, not just accepting her kink but eager for it. “you’re serious?” she whispered, her hands clutching his shirt, her hips shifting against his hardening cock.

“fuck yeah,” he said, kissing her hard, his tongue sloppy and hungry, his hands sliding under her blouse, tugging it off to reveal her bare tits, her nipples hard. “gonna fuck you raw, babe, and use that freaky toy ‘til you’re a mess.” he shoved her skirt up, yanking her panties down, his fingers finding her clit, rubbing slow circles, making her moan, her head tipping back.

“chris, fuck,” she gasped, her hands fumbling for his jeans, shoving them down, his cock springing free, thick and leaking, the tip red. 

he groaned, his hips bucking as she stroked him, her grip tight, her thumb smearing precum. he grabbed the tentacle dildo, its silicone cool and flexible, and slicked it with lube from the coffee table drawer—y/n was prepared, and that made him grin wider.

“you ready, freaky girl?” he teased, his voice husky, his free hand pinning her wrists above her head, her body arched on the couch. she nodded, her eyes glassy, her pussy dripping, her thighs spread wide. he teased her entrance with the dildo’s tapered tip, the suction cups catching faintly, making her whimper, her hips rocking. “fuck, you want this bad,” he murmured, sliding it in slow, the stretch making her moan, her walls clenching around the toy’s textured length.

“chris, oh god,” she whined, her voice high, body trembling as he worked the dildo deeper, thrusting it slow, the suction cups dragging against her, sending shocks through her core. he leaned down, sucking her nipple, his teeth grazing, his other hand stroking his cock, his moans muffled against her skin.

“so fuckin’ hot,” he groaned, pulling the dildo out, slick with her arousal, and tossing it aside. he lined his cock up, thrusting into her raw, her pussy tight and wet, the stretch making them both moan, his hips snapping hard, the couch creaking. 

“you like that, huh? my cock and your freaky toy?” he panted, his voice rough, his hands gripping her hips, bruising.

“yes, fuck, chris, harder,” she begged, her nails digging into his shoulders, her legs wrapping around him, her pussy pulsing, her orgasm building. 

he grabbed the dildo again, teasing her ass with it, the lube making it slick, the tip slipping in just enough to make her gasp, the double sensation—his cock in her pussy, the toy in her ass—pushing her over the edge.

“cum for me, babe,” he growled, thrusting deep, the dildo moving in sync, her moans turning to screams, her body convulsing, her pussy clenching his cock, her ass gripping the toy. she came hard, her vision blurring, her body shaking, her cum soaking his cock, dripping onto the couch.

chris groaned, his thrusts sloppy, his cock throbbing as he came, spilling hot and thick inside her, his hips jerking, his moans loud and raw. “fuck, you’re unreal,” he panted, collapsing onto her, their bodies sweaty, tangled, the dildo still in her ass, forgotten in the haze.

y/n laughed, breathless, her hands in his hair, tugging his snapback off. “thought you’d run,” she said, her voice soft, vulnerable, but chris just kissed her, slow and deep, his cock still inside her, his grin goofy as ever.

“run? babe, i’m keepin’ this tentacle shit in rotation,” he teased, making her laugh, their bodies pressed close, the apartment warm, the night alive with their shared secret.

©pokesturns any and all forms of modifications, reposts, and translation of my work are prohibited.

ㅤ⊂⊃ ( mak.says ) ﹐⇅ this was made as A JOKE, pls don't take it so seriously.

[verysium]

PLEASE DO BLUE LOCK ICKS IM BEGGING🙏😭🌹

😏 coming right up anon. gonna channel my inner critic and not hold back on any of these.

RIN

brother complex. not much else to say except that he needs to get a life. not everything is about metaphorically crushing your older brother's dreams and brooding in the dark hate of retribution.

competitive but only because he is a desperate whore for external validation. ignores everyone but craves the attention of a sole person named sae itoshi. was defeated by isagi once and has never let go of it since. has a one-track mind that is impossible to derail. stubborn when he wants to be.

probably a virgin and will continue to be one until his late 30s.

has not known a single day of peace ever since sae ditched him for the popular girlies. as a result, he has developed a very concerning case of social awkwardness. his idea of a conversation involves a brick wall and thirty minutes of you staring at his resting bitch face. constantly looks like that one grumpy cat meme. judges you for your poor decisions but then gets aggressively defensive when you point out his own mistakes.

reeks of so much teen angst that even metallica can't save him. the problem is that he has nothing to back up his emo persona. his insults lack creativity and, unfortunately for him, phrases like "lukewarm" and "half-baked" and "hell" do not make his words carry more weight. uses the f-word but in the most embarrassing context that it makes you facepalm and internally cringe.

SAE

zero social awareness. this boy's head is empty. the lights are not on up there. there are no picture frames or furniture. the curtains are drawn, and there is not a sliver of clouds or sunshine. cannot read body language and does not know what a filter is.

the source of all of rin's stress. he is the original trauma projector, creator of generational cycles. not even subtle about it. "turns out i was wrong. i thought japan was incapable of ever giving birth to decent forwards." sir....with the way you worded that, you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave rin false hope.

swears but it's even worse than his brother. literally called his elders a "fatso and bob cut duo" and "insect turd." i mean....there is a line between what is considered a legitimate burn and what is a first grader making up insults in his coloring book.

has a horrible haircut and no fashion taste. i already talked about this previously, but it was so bad it deserved a second mention.

a freak but tries to justify it rationally. like what do you mean you can tell a person's athletic ability from their buttock size? just admit you have a kinky fetish already.

somewhat of a coward but i'm gonna give him some leniency due to his tragic child genius backstory. tbh he's just an eighteen-year-old boy who needs a goddamn break.

KAISER

alexa please play clown music. this man sets himself for failure and then wallows in self-pity when he actually fails. like what did you expect? you knew what was going to happen the moment you challenged isagi like that. it was most definitely your fault you got violently humbled.

has a borderline god complex (currently calls himself an emperor but has not evolved into a deity yet.) unfortunately, he does not stand on business. cue the dramatic meltdowns when he realizes there is an actual gap between his ability and his reputation. if you're going to lie, at least make it believable.

insecure and mentally unstable. he probably cuts and re-dyes his hair every single time shit happens. no wonder his locks get shorter every time.

lazy when it comes to anything that is not football and expects others to do it for him. demands princess treatment wherever he goes. unfortunately, not all of us have servants with no self-respect like ness.

"it is not enough that i should succeed, others should fail" type of person.

does not wear shoes and even if he does, it's sandals. put them grippers away.

NAGI

a literal sloth who has so much potential but uses none of it. has no intrinsic motivation of his own, so if he's going to do anything, it has to be you behind the wheel, making sure he gets put to work.

does not have a close relationship with his parents, and so he has no sense of community, holidays, or traditions. no fun at all if you want him to do things like christmas shopping or birthday celebrations.

rots in bed all day and then has to nerve to ask you to carry him around. your back better be strong because his 190 cm body is not going to be light.

not loyal (need i say more.)

REO

second male lead syndrome. also known as that one popular guy who's always picked last.

acts like a victim but then when you realistically tell him to how to change his situation he refuses to do so. you cannot ask for advice and then take none of it to heart. no wonder you're still not over your ex.

"i can fix him" mentality. no, you can't. you are a seventeen-year-old child, not a licensed therapist and nagi isn't even all that.

NESS

touch-starved to the point he will stay in a toxic and abusive relationship in order to gain some scrap of affection. just because you were the black sheep of your family does not mean you can lose all sense of personal dignity.

probably stalks all the people he hates. has a burn book like regina george from mean girls. cuts out and glues little pictures of kaiser all over his bedroom. doodles hearts all over it with glittery gel pen. isagi's face and name are scratched out of every team photo.

delusional and prone to mood swings. medicated but at this point, he is beyond saving.

ISAGI

a home wrecker. has ruined more relationships than he can count on ten fingers yet still manages to smile like he's some angelic saint.

solves jigsaw puzzles for a living (not very cool if you ask me.)

has some unresolved anger management issues. probably repressed all his negative feelings when he was younger, so it all comes out when he's on the field. unfortunately, his twilight-sparkle-friendship-is-magic agenda is not going to work if he keeps cussing out his teammates like that. but then again, he is the main character, so i guess his plot armor makes up for his pitfalls.

says that he's a good guy but then holds personal vendettas against rivals he doesn't like. boy was so ready to throw hands when #kaisagi was trending on the internet. but when you actually think about, he's similar to kaiser in more ways than he'd like to admit.

BAROU

has the worst case of high and mighty "holier-than-thou" attitude. isagi put his ego in check, but it still peeks out from time to time.

he was the ugliest baby when he was born. i am not going to hold back on the child barou slander because it is true. no, he was not a cute and lovable bundle of joy. he looked like a demonic gremlin.

he needs to take more risks in life and try cross-dressing. simply imagining him in a maid uniform will not suffice. it needs to be made into a reality.

with how nit-picky he is, i doubt people can realistically stay within a 1-meter radius around him. unless you are a clean freak yourself, his constant complaints will start to get annoying after a time. even if he does have good intentions, he needs to let people have a little breathing room sometimes. a messy room is not going to kill you.

BACHIRA

this boy's brain is smooth. no folds. no gray matter. no intelligence either. his pencil and eraser have been left untouched since day one. if he wasn't crazily good at football, he would be unemployed and homeless in the future. not even a mcdonald's wants him.

one of those people who will do the literal opposite of whatever you say. you want him to stop talking? well, now he's never going to shut up. you tell him not to step on a pile of dog shit? well, now he's going to walk right into it. you want him to quit running around and act normal? well, now it's his life's mission to make you as annoyed as possible. please pray for your hair follicles because at the end of the day, you're not going to have many left with how much he makes you want to tear your hair out.

has the cerebral capacity of a toddler. if he thinks monsters are real, he's going to think anything is real. super gullible when it comes to any form of scam, ploy, or trickery. the only way he would not be fooled is if he's also played the same prank before.

SHIDOU

a brazen pervert. says the most out-of-pocket things and refuses to apologize for them. sometimes it comes out a little too sleazy for your liking.

"to me a goal is fertilization! a shot is the seed and the goal is the egg!! and the birth of that joy i call an explosion!! my genes are gonna knock you up!" let us give ourselves a moment of silence to digest this quote. only shidou ryusei would come up with a sperm and egg metaphor to describe football. (i guess protection means nothing to him.)

has no empathy. if you dislike him or cannot keep up with him, you're a literal nobody in his books. no sportsmanship. no compassion. no self-awareness.

you cannot say "balls" to him in a serious tone without him misinterpreting it as something dirty. that alone should tell you enough. stay the hell away from him.

where do men get the audacity? right here. from this little bastard. he invented the term "shameless slut." boy was getting off during the u-20 arc and on live TV too. no wonder sae said he was disgusting.

and finally, he comes from a long line of cockroaches. he's even got the antennae to prove it.

i think this might have been a little excessive, but i have no regrets about it. you're welcome anon ♡

[toomanytookas]

PPCU Fandom Projects Digest:

February/March 2025

A summary of projects that wrapped up last month, ones to look forward to this month (and more), and one plucked from the past to (re)discover for your TBR! First time hearing about the PPCU Fandom Projects database? More info available here.

Ramadan kareem to anyone observing!

Recently Completed Projects

@almostfoxglove - Let’s Get Angsty

@beefrobeefcal - Half Bricked, Wrong Time

@grogusmum - Hazel’s Valentine’s Day Pedro Boy Conversation Hearts Game

@happypedrohours - Bouquets of Pedro Creativity Challenge

@ishabull - The Cupid Seller Valentine's Extravaganza

@javierpena-inatacvest - BIPOC Author Celebration

@kedsandtubesocks - Wild Ride

@magpiepills & @schnarfer - Bat & Al’s Hidden Treasure 2.0

Open to Participants

@chaotic-mystery - Wired 4 U [Let the brain rewiring commence with your choice of a smut, angst, of fluff themed track as your prompt]

@evolnoomym - First Birthday Celebration [Craft a moodboard for a P boy of your choice with an assigned prompt]

@itwasnttimethatdidit - Italian Music Challenge [Be inspired by an assigned piece of Italian music]

@guiltyasdave & @sizzlingcloudmentality - Writing Through the Seasons [A smutty Fall-time Max is calling your name]

@jolapeno - April Showers 2.0 [Let the rain fall down! ☔️]

@mothandpidgeon, @schnarfer & @whocaresstillthelouvre - Magic Number Writing Challenge [Why choose one P boy when you could choose two? 👀👯‍♂️]

@pedropascalsx - 50th birthday fundraiser [A fundraiser for United We Dream, an advocacy organisation for immigrant youth, in honour of Pedro's 50th birthday]

@secretelephanttattoo - New Moot Speed Dating [Meet new fandom folks with the help of some fun speedmooting questions]

@the-blind-assassin-12 - March Fic Madness 2025 [Challenge yourself to comment on 63 works in the month of March]

@yxtkiwiyxt - Never Have I Ever [The deadline has been extended!]

Closed for participants - but you can still get hyped for!

@toomanystoriessolittletime - 47 minutes in heaven

(Re)Discover an Older Project

@secretelephanttattoo - Fanfiction Birthdays

Check out the masterlist for this project, which celebrated the birthdays of fics with an ask to the author from El! 

[somewhereincairparavel]

I think the reason Rick fumbled with writing Jason's abilities/personality is because he was too focused on Jason existing as Percy's rival to focus on Jason as an individual character. And the funniest thing is, in the end, Jason was not considered satisfactory rival to Percy by the fandom either, which is ironic since that was the whole point of his character.

Rick seemingly screwed up the whole rivalry thing because, though he wanted someone to challenge Percy's power, he didn't want that person (Jason) to be more powerful than Percy or more enjoyable than Percy either, in the fear that the audience might start enjoying Jason more.

When you write a rival, you have to make sure that the rival character has equally powerful personality and strength/abilities compared to the person that they're rivalled with.

But Rick? The way he wrote Jason was like a half done updo. He dumped all the cool power on Percy (like potentially implying that Percy has bloodbending,can control water inside of someone, making sure Percy wins ALMOST every fight (and i mean, almost, there is a very rare time Percy ever loses) while limiting his power with Jason in every way possible, making the stupid brick jokes to make sure Jason always passes out in a fight, the whole "I only get one lighting bolt a day from my father" (it's a dumbass logic too, Jason should've been able to summon that much power of lighting on his own, he does NOT need his dad for that shit c'mon now) like it's an obvious effort to make jason appear weaker. Rick did all of this while lazily trying to shoehorn Jason's achievements in the plot by implying it but not actually showing it, like a "yeah he did this cool shit once ig" which makes it less impressive compared to Percy's achievements, which is something we've actually witnessed firsthand. Rick intentionally never brought up or expanded upon Jason's achievements much. He only emphasized everyone's awe of him being the son of Jupiter, which made it seem like Jason had the 'big three child privilege' where people didn't give a fuck about his efforts but instead his position.

Alright Rick, don't give him power, but atleast give him a personality? Nope he isn't getting that either. Jason had the potential to make DARK jokes about his controlled millitary life in Rome, and explore his past. Like I badly wanted a passage of Jason getting his memories back in fragments, Rick could've added flashbacks of Jason's past in his pov in a way that he gets his memories back. Instead he went "yeah yeah jason got all his memories back, it's all good" like SHOW us that wtf?? sure let's make sure he's as stale as possible to the audience, we can't have anyone liking the underdog over Percy Jackson!

He also made sure that Jason had it super hard in life aswell but never emphasized it or gave him anything good compared to Percy.

Don't get me wrong, percy definitely had it rlly hard, but Atleast Rick made sure Percy had a loving mom and a stepdad, a loving girlfriend and a cute adorable sister that he could play and spend time with, he got to celebrate birthdays with Sally, he got to eat her tasty blue food, and he actually had an ambrosia taste. You mean to tell me that Jason's sister barely had time for him, that he hasn't had a single birthday and that ambrosia tastes like sawdust for him while you give the other members of the seven, delicious ambrosia taste? 😤

Jason Grace has gotten the worst life in his own story, he wasn't "powerful" enough for a child of Zeus, he was "boring" , nobody properly trusted him, he died painfully, he didn't have parents, he barely talked to his sister, he didn't have a childhood, he was abandoned to blood thirsty animals when he was TWO, he didn't have a birthday, he didn't have an ambrosia taste, his girlfriend dumped him, he never got to see his best friend before he died, and he is terribly hated by the fandom who are simply turning a blind eye to his struggles because "no Percy will always be better in every way" yeah. I could go on and on.

[everybodylovedcontractors]

Bon Appétit

Part of @beefrobeefcal 's Half Bricked, Wrong Time Challenge

Francisco "Catfish" "Frankie" Morales and F!reader

Word Count - 2,152

Summary - You meet an online date named Frankie and end up in an Arby's drive thru.

Warnings - Some alcohol use. (Oral F! Receiving)

Online Dating. You loathed it. The people you met were always either players or stage 4 clingers. Not to mention, no one ever looks like their profile pictures. Everyone lies about their weight, age, and shoe size. It's a jungle out there, literally. So why did you agree to meet up with this guy?

Sure, his profile picture was pretty cute, and he seemed normal through your conversations, but they all do at first. You parked your car and got out, placing your heels on the ground. You wore a red dress your friend helped you pick out, and lipstick to match.  You took a deep breath before heading inside the restaurant.

As you walk inside, you lock your eyes with him, and your heart skips a beat. He certainly was handsome.   He wore a white button-down shirt and jeans, his hair unkempt, his brown curls flowing freely.  He smiled over at you, holding out his hand.  

"Hi, I'm Frankie. It's so good to finally meet you."  He said. 

You take his calloused hand in yours and shake it.  "Nice to meet you too, Frankie."

"Shall we?  I hear this place has the best pasta around."  

"Oh, I love pasta!" You say walking with him inside the fancy restaurant. The Matre’d leads you to your table where Frankie holds out your chair for you. You thank him and give him a pleasant view of your ass in that red dress as you sit down slowly.  You could feel his eyes lingering a little too long, and you loved it.  

Taking the menu, you glance over it.  The prices are a bit steep.  Frankie is a blue-collar kind of guy who probably can't afford such meals.  You look for something reasonable.  Part of you is flattered he would take you to a fancy place such as this restaurant.  He must really be into you.

"Did you want to share some pasta and a bottle of wine?"  You enquire. 

His face lights up, and he smiles.   "That sounds great, actually.  How about a bottle of chianti and some spaghetti and meatballs?  We can be like Lady and the Tramp.  And to be honest, I think that fits us perfectly."  

He orders the dinner with the waiter and now comes the awkward silence part.   Or so you thought...

The waiter comes with the bottle of wine and pours you two glasses.  You hold up your glass and clink it with his. "Cheers!"  You take a drink of smooth red wine and smile. 

"So, what does as pretty thing like you do for fun?" He asks. 

"Well, I love eating out, going to concerts, traveling, horseback riding, kayaking... What about you? What makes you tick? Oh, and who's your favorite band?"

Frankie almost choked on his drink. Did he just hear that first part, right?  With the alcohol flowing and you looking so fine in that dress, his mind was already in the gutter, but you just mentioned his favorite thing in the entire world.  Eating out. 

"Um, well, I love playing baseball with my friends, spending time with my daughter, working on my car.   And my favorite band is the Foo Fighters." 

"I love the Foo Fighters.  Dave Grohl is a rock God!  But if I had to choose, my favorite band has to be Fleetwood Mac."  

"Fleetwood Mac?  Good fucking choice.   With Stevie Nicks' haunting vocals and Lindsay Buckingham's guitar playing... classic.   You have great taste.  Maybe we could go to a concert sometime together?"

You take another sip of wine and smile, savoring the taste and the company of the attractive man in front of you. "I'm always looking for a concert buddy to go with, and it seems like you have great taste in music."

"I would like that.  Seeing you swaying to a song like "Dreams" pressed up against me sounds like heaven to me."  He replies as he looks her up and down, his heart beating faster. 

You notice his eyes, watching you closely as you take a sip of wine.    As you swallow the deep burgundy liquor, you lick the rest off your lips seductively. Your eyes never leave him as you do so.  Just then, the pasta arrives, being the fancy restaurant it is the portion is much smaller than they expected.

You are his eyes light up in surprise.  "This pasta better be really good for that amount of..."  You take a fork full and put it in his mouth.   The flavors blend perfectly. "Damn, that's good."  He takes a fork and offers some pasta to you.   You eat it off and moan softly with approval.  Frankie shifts in his seat to the sweet sounds and your insatiable appetite.

The two of you eat your pasta, stealing glances at each other as you finish your dish. The night wears on the two of you laughing and flirting until you realize you're the only people left in the restaurant and your wine is gone. The waiter comes to tell you that the restaurant is closing.

"I don't know about you, Frankie, but I don't want this night to end yet."  You admit.

"Me either."  He agrees.

"You could maybe come over, but my roommate is there unless, maybe you'd rather go to your place?  We could watch a movie or something?"  You enquire.  

Frankie gulps and nods.   "Yeah, you can come over if you feel comfortable with that.   No roommates, and the kiddo is at her mother's.   We can be all alone."

Frankie, now in a hurry, pays the waiter, and the two of you leave the restaurant. He wraps his arms around your waist as he walks you to his pick-up truck. Being that you've had a little too much to drink yourself, he offers to drive.  He even opens the door for you before you step inside.  

As you're in his truck, driving to his house, your stomach gurgles. Oh shit, you were starving.  That little bit of food clearly not enough substance, yet you tried to hide it from him, but it was no use.  You had an idea.   

"You know what I could really go for right now?  Some Arby's."

"Arby's, anything for you, baby.  My treat."  He takes the next left and pulls into the drive thru.

In the drive thru, there are tantalizing photographs of the sandwiches and curly fries. The roast beef glistening on the bun. It's stacked perfectly. A mouthwatering picture. You notice Frankie staring at the photograph like it's his last meal on Earth. What could he be thinking about?

Then you notice him run his hand through his hair. He shifts in his seat, adjusting himself. You smirk, was he really that turned on over the picture of roast beef?

But he was that turned on over the electric sex of the photographs of perfectly stacked roast beef. The folds reminding him of his favorite thing in the whole wild world, the female anatomy, the pussy. Frankie was a cunnilingus King. He loved eating a woman out until she couldn't stand it anymore. And that roast beef made him think of you and how much he wanted to do that to you right then and there. His patience wearing very thin.

He needed you and as soon as possible.  He tried to hide the growing hard on in his jeans, shifting uncomfortably.  He prayed you wouldn't notice... but you did. 

"Frankie, you, okay?"

He nods, trying to hide the evidence, but it's getting more difficult to do so.   He takes a few deep breaths.  "That sandwich looks like... and I already wanted to.  I had a glass of wine!"

Suddenly, it dawns on you.   "Wait, you mean that sandwich... reminds you of a...?"  You ask.

He nods sheepishly. 

You glance down at his obvious erection and smirk. "You're that turned on right now?"

He turns to you with a devious look in his eyes, which are now dark at night.  "Baby, ever since you walked into that restaurant, I've been thinking about those thighs and how they would feel draped over my shoulders."

"Frankie!"

He replies, "What you... you wanted to know?  I may be a little reserved, but you have been looking like a snack all night.  And I can't take it anymore."  

You looked over at him, and you felt bad for him.  You decided that Arby's could wait.  "Let's go to your house and we can fix this little problem you have, hmm?"  

He nods again and drives through the drive thru, speeding back to his place.  As soon as you get there, he helps you out of his truck and grabs you.  He places a searing kiss on your lips, his body grinding against yours.  You both practically run into the house, giggling as you do so.  

The next few minutes are a blur of you and Frankie kissing as you make your way to his bedroom.   It's simple with a big bed in the middle of it covered in a white down comforter.   The walls adorned with rock n roll posters.   He leads you to the edge of his bed.  You stop only so he can unzip your dress.   His large hands bring down the zipper with ease.   The feeling of his touch on your soft supple skin drives him wild.   

You turn around and take the straps down, gently pulling down the red fabric.  With each inch, you reveal more of your moonlit skin, your breasts exposed first.  Frankie runs his hands down to your aching flesh, kneading them gently as he leans in to kiss your neck.   He leaves behind a fire of quick kisses and nibbles upon your skin.   

"God, Cariño, you're so beautiful.  Even better than..."  

"That sandwich?" You respond.  

"You make me forget all about that sandwich, beautiful.   I'm still hungry, though..."  He purred.  

Your breath hitches as he confesses his hunger for you.  You shimmy down the rest of your dress, revealing your lacy white panties.   You can hear him groan at the sight.   You lean in kissing him once more, and your hands are pulled towards his chest as if magnetized.  You take your hands and run them up his chest, your delicate fingers unbutton his crisp button-down shirt.  You take your time with each button until you finish removing it.  Your hands roam his bare torso, moving ever so lower down to the button in his jeans.  

You move your hands down to the button of his jeans and gently graze over his arousal.  "Is this all for me?"  You ask. 

He nods as he helps guide your hands to unbutton his jeans.  You gently pull off his pants, revealing his boxers.  His breath hitches as you free him from the confine of the heavy fabric.   

You then slowly lower yourself on the bed.  Your legs spread wide for him.  You prop up with your elbows on the bed.  "And this is all for you."

With your permission, he crawls onto the bed on top of you.   Your gaze adverts up to his dark, lust filled eyes.  With his help, you remove your panties and drag your finger up to your glistening folds.  You take your arousal on your index finger and hold it up to him.   "Bon Appétit, baby."

His breath catches in his throat as he sees your offering, your boldness, your dominance.  It drives him wild.   He takes your finger in his mouth and sucks every last drop of you from it.   

It's almost like something snaps, and he takes you by the hips and moves you forward until you're open wide.  He lifts your ass in the air and throws your legs over his shoulders.   His tongue licks up your slit as he devours you.  His nose brushing against your clit as he fucks you with his tongue.  Your body is writhing at his touch.   He moves his tongue to your bundle of nerves and begins flicking.

He inhales you like a man starved.   You're the sweetest scent he's ever smelled and tasted.  And as your thighs begin to shake, he doubles up on the pleasure until he feels you clench around him.   Your moans of desire only fuel his fire, and he doesn't stop until you come back down to earth, crashing against the pillow in your afterglow.   He laps up your sweet nectar and smirks.

"Way better than fucking, Arby's."

You laugh and nod in agreement.  

The next morning, you wake up to the smell of breakfast being cooked in the other room by your handsome host.    You walk into the kitchen in an old T-shirt of his and panties.  Inside the kitchen, you grin watching Frankie from afar as he keeps cooking.  

"So, what's for breakfast?"  You wonder.

"Eggs and roast beef hash and eat up cause I'm not finished with you yet, Preciosa."

That was a promise he would keep.  

Dividers by @uzmacchiato

Tag list @baronessvonglitter @letsgobarbs @probablyreadinsmut

[eightmakesonebraincell]

dogboy!yuyu headcanons

genre: bf!yunho x gn!reader, fluffiest fluffy fluff, crack

length: 1.8k

a/n: this spontaneously wrote itself after reading bai’s (@hwaightme) catboy!hwa headcanons, dreaming about dogboy!yuyu, and then being triggered by the braincell i share with yumi (@sorryimananti-romantic) <3 also scroll through to the end for a surprise 🐹

taglist: @lavishloving

YUYU :’((((

the cutest fluffiest ball of energy to ever light up your world <33

your heart just goes :’) whenever you see him, no matter what he’s doing

PUPPY EYES

THE MOST. LETHAL. PUPPY. EYES. EVER.

at first he doesn’t know how dangerous his puppy eyes are

he’s scared of doing the wrong thing or disobeying your orders because he thinks you might not want him anymore or kick him out :(((

he’s so precious he deserves to be protected from every bad thing in the world :((

but then once he learns that you love him more than he can even fathom

and he can literally get away with anything??

especially if he just whips out his puppy eyes and cocks his head to one side??

PLEASE

yunho is 🥺 emoji personified

he stamps his little paws in excitement when you approach him

loves it when you caress the space between his eyes he gets all sleepy 

EAR SCRATCHES

he loves when you scratch behind his ear or under his chin or on his belly

aka scratches anywhere.

and he has the fluffiest and floppiest ears ever <333

they flop up and down whenever he runs it’s so cute omg

and he loves to chase his own tail

he MUST win the battle with himself grr

he doesn’t realise how big he is, both as a pupper AND a human

he runs at you from a distance and attacks you in a hug 🥺

but when he’s really excited and leaps up into your arms it feels like you’re getting slammed by a moving brick wall

you both definitely go down with an oof (mainly from you)

but who can be annoyed when you look up and he’s all :D :D :D and wagging tails on top of you

you two play a lot because he has so much energy

like you throw treats up in the air and he jumps to catch them and it’s like he’s challenging you at this point

you both have this thing where you put your hand on his paw, then he moves to place his paw on top of your hand, then you place your hand on top again and you just make an endless tower of hands

it never ends. it is A COMPETITION.

yall also have barking competitions where you’re just howling at each other lolll

because of that, your neighbour sometimes asks how your dogs (plural) are going and you have to make up a second dog because you’re not about to admit that it’s actually you howling back

yunho ALWAYS gets the zoomies at the most random times

in the morning when you’ve literally just pulled yourself out of bed and half asleep?

he does zoomies around the living room

nearly trips you over

at 3am when you’ve just finished your work and you’re stumbling your way to bed

he gets the zoomies in your bedroom and jumps all over your bed

SPEAKING OF BED

his favourite place is bed

but your bed specifically

you don’t need a heater in winter because he loves loves LOVES to snuggle with you and he’s super warm and fluffy

there’s lots and lots of cuddle sessions ofc, especially when you’re feeling down

he’s always there and he’ll like, give you space at first and then slowly inch towards you :((

sometimes you get nightmares that you’re suffocating and you wake up to yunho’s dog butt sitting on your face LOL

or you’ll wake up to his tail swishing in your face because he’s dreaming about steak

he likes playing in puddles and mud a little toooo much

when it rains you dress him up in a cute little yellow duckie raincoat

you’ve tried the matching puppy gumboots too but he just shakes them off

loves to go splish splash with his paws in all the puddles he comes across

and when he walks away he leaves a trail of his paw prints <3

omg when it comes to shower time after playing?

BRAT 

a cute brat though you could never ever get angry at him

he makes you chase him through the house and you’re shrieking about the little paw prints he’s leaving on the floor

(he helps you clean them up afterwards)

when you finally wrestle him into the bathtub he huffs until you fill it with bubbles and add his toys

you most definitely have to take your own shower after his because of how soapy your clothes get

yunho LOVES his toys so much

it takes so long to convince him to let you put them in the wash

because as soon as you take them away from him? the puppy eyes come out

and you have to be firm and tell him that the toys just need a bit of cleaning, they’ll come back to you smelling super nice, it’s just for a little while

he still sits in front of the washing machine watching the whole cycle because he doesn’t trust the machine

he protecc

whenever you’re working or busy doing something, he’ll come up and nudge you every other minute so you play with him

he’ll drop a toy at your feet so you throw it for him

or he’ll tug on your pants and whine a little for your attention

you’re definitely weak for him so you almost always end up giving in

do you walk him or does he walk you?

he gets excited and darts off whenever he sees other people or other dogs because he wants to go and say hello :’))

and even though he loves meeting the other dogs, if you find another cute dog and turn your attention towards it or compliment it he’s gonna be all 🥺🥺🥺

he’s built to protect you like whenever you go out he’ll valiantly be on the lookout for any dangers like lizards that get too close or plastic bags that are flying towards you

LOL sometimes you can’t bring yunho out with you, and when you get home after bumping into another dog on the way back, yunho will immediately be able to sniff out their smell on your clothes

and he’ll be like >:((

how dare you >:((

i demand head pats and ear scratches as compensation >:((

he melts as soon as you give him a kiss though

when he’s human, literally nothing changes

he has endless energy and he literally skips and bounds along as he walks with you

the man does not. stand. still.

he will JUMP down the last four or five stairs and give you a mini heart attack

you scold him like you’re going to get hurt !!!!! but he just grins at you before running ahead again

omg he gives the most crushing and loving hugs <333

your favourite ones are when you’re running towards him and he has his arms wide open and he catches you as you leap into his arms

and he holds your waist firmly as he spins you two around and you’re both just all wide smiles and hearty giggles (PLS IM SO SOFT RN)

yunho eats like there’s no tomorrow

you cook and plate up your food and turn around to get yourself a glass of water or something and when you turn back around half his plate is already gone and he’s like :D

and you’re like ???? where ?? did all the food go?? 

when you bake you’ve got to keep a close eye on him he’s like a CHILD

he’ll steal the chocolate chips off the counter and you have to take the packet from him and tell him that you need them for the cookies

but he gets a handful of them anyway as compromise

it’s the puppy eyes i’m telling you they stay with him even when he shifts

“no, yuyu, the cookies are still hot you need to wait”

:(

“stop looking at me like that they won’t cool any faster”

:( 

when it’s bedtime he dives under the covers with you

he drapes himself over you like he does when he’s a dog except he is much heavier when he isn’t a dog and you’re lowkey struggling to breathe under him

and he’s like oh no !! i forgot !!

and he’ll lie on his back and pull you so that you lie on top of him instead :’))

doesn’t matter if he’s dog or human, he LOVES CUDDLES

sometimes he decides that he wants head scratches too and he’ll bring your hand up to his head so that you play with his soft blonde locks

he also peppers your face with kisses like non-stop

he makes it his personal goal to make you giggle and laugh from all the kisses he’s giving you

because he is all about that physical affection and touch, perhaps even more when he’s a human

when you’re home he HAS to be touching you in one way or another like he’ll have a hand on your thigh or he’s draped over you in a back hug or you’re sitting in his lap

and it’s so cute when you see the same mannerisms and habits he has as a dog when he’s human

he’ll sit there and huff at all the right times when you tell him about your long day

(which was one of the first things you picked up on that yunho wasn’t your typical dog because when you ranted to him it was like he could understand you perfectly)

and like he still has his protective instincts, except when he’s a man he is The Man 

you tell him about some colleague at work who was nasty to you and he’ll be like WHO. LET ME GO BITE THEM

he definitely growls a little when he’s really protective like grrr >:(

lol but also when you two are playing games and he’s feeling competitive or he’s gaming on the computer he’ll unintentionally growl at you and sometimes you find it kinda hot ;)

with yunho there has never been a single dull moment

his laughter and cheeky antics just become a permanent part of your life <3

he only has eyes for you and they’re filled with love

he is THE GOODEST BOY PERIODT.

bonus: hamsterboy!joong

the D: hamster backed up into a corner meme

raises his little hands when he's scared

will freeze standing up for no apparent reason

literally faints or unalives at the slightest inconvenience

like if you sneeze too loud

or if he falls off the little platform in his cage

you’ll never catch him running in the hamster wheel - that is solely for napping in

he also likes to nap in the igloo homes you put there for him

if you lift one up while he’s under it he’ll run for his life towards another shelter LOL

shoves everything into his mouth when he eats

he complains when his food bowl is empty

but if you try to take the bowl to fill it up? he tries to bite you

no take >:( only fill >:(

tries to look aggressive but he’s the smollest lil bean to exist 🥺

what makes you think he’s any different as a human?

LOL

the end

[blade-liger-4ever]

RID 2015 Strongarm: An Insult to Tomboy Brawler Girls

So, given my surprisingly popular post on how TFOne ruined my favorite female lead of all Transformers media mentioned the above character, I think it's safe to say lots of people know that I despise RID15's version of Strongarm. However, since all I see of the fandom is everybody singing this block of wood's praises and not once criticizing her, I feel it's up to me to take Breakdown's hammers to this poor attempt at a female protagonist.

If you like her (and I know and respect someone who does), this post isn't for you, so keep scrolling before you get an aneurysm or your feelings hurt.

Now, onto my points.

From the beginning, Strongarm is painted with an unlikable air. She does nothing but worship the ground Bumblebee walks on, and acts as if everything and everyone from Prime was a god that must be worshipped, and so help you if you don't worship them because she'll throw you in the slammer with extra roughing to boot. Because let's face it, Strongarm is a suckup who wants power.

Dont believe me? Just look at her. She's basically a brick wall come to life who is in the Elite Guard and actually covetous of rankings. This is shown in a frightfully plain manner when Bumblebee is mentally reduced to a five year old, and she even spends his procedure hoping to take command afterward so she can climb the ranks - to climb the ladder of power.

Yes yes, I hear you all screaming that she learned her lesson - only she didn't.

The same thing happens every other time she was given the chance to lead, like in the episode where they got their minds switched in season 3. Once more, Strongarm was gleeful over being in charge, and it came up again in the finale. The whole reason Sideswipe keeps challenging her throughout the series is because he knows exactly how much more of a pain in the tailpipe she'll be if she gets promoted, made more clear by the fact that he doesn't give Bumblebee half the suffering he gives Strongarm. It's because he doesn't mind authority that is limited that he lets Bumblebee lead him, but Strongarm is already mad with the power of the rulebook, and if that type of person gets the position of commander, then there's no more freedom in the one place Sideswipe's found freedom.

Moreover, she never grows from her holier than thou and superiority complex behaviors.

From the beginning, Strongarm looked down on Sideswipe for "being a punk/perp" and made it clear every blasted episode that she thought he was lower than the crust of the Earth. She rarely genuinely praised him, and while you could argue it was to "keep his head from getting fat", there's a time when you should be nice and supportive of a teammate/friend when he does something good and right, which Sideswipe usually does. Heck, the times he's done something wrong are always painted in a bad light by the show, and Sideswipe goes the extra step to apologize by the end. Strongarm, however, never gives Sideswipe that same courtesy, because she must be right all the time, and while I feel the showrunners didn't believe that she was right any more than I did, they were forced to do so because the higher ups and freaks watching the show screamed for more Strongarm centric episodes.

Then there's her abominable treatment of Grimlock, the literal innocent of the show. Strongarm persistently harps on Grimlock's simple outlook as a flaw to rub in his face, and puts him beneath her boot when he makes a tiny mistake. Pits of Kaon, the minute she learns Grimlock increased his mental acuity out of a sense of insecurity, what does she say to him?

"Come on, Grim, we'd never say that. Out loud, at least."

And no one takes her to task for this! Not even Bumblebee, who should be having flashbacks to how Bulkhead almost lost himself/died because of the information he'd absorbed into his mind in TFP! Bumblebee should have figured this out and read her the riot act. Strongarm should have given Grimlock a paragraph of an apology, but she didn't because she's a physical powerhouse who breaks the rules of storytelling solely because the fandom wants a girl who looks and acts gender neutral.

And not even Fixit is safe from her, because remember I mentioned a procedure earlier? Fixit had to become a makeshift tool wielded by her to remove an object from Bumblebee, and he gives her a warning that they have to be careful and precise.

Strongarm's response is to tell him what boils down to, "No, YOU have to be careful, otherwise it's all your fault!"

Really, Stone Slab? You're the one whose hand is manipulating Fixit during this process, who has to be steady and slow lest YOU sneeze and ruin the whole operation.

But no, Strongarm CAN'T be wrong because she's the big, tough girl from Kaon who must be right in everything. She starts the show a Karen, and ends it a Karen. No development, no depths to explore, and nothing to recommend her.

And now, for the part where she's an insult to "tomboy brawler girls", take Book One Korra for a counterpoint.

She's shown to be the best bender in history, yet she constantly fails at airbending. No matter how hard she tries, she cannot bend air. However, Korra doesn't blame that on those around her. Yes, she finds fault in Tenzin continuing to confine her, but she doesn't fault him for her own inability to airbend.

What's more is that she actually apologizes for destroying the airbending course. She admits she was wrong, that she was angry with herself and took it out on the equipment. Korra doesn't shirk it away; she accepts it as her wrongdoing, and hers alone.

And while she verbally spars with Mako, she never actually puts him down. Korra doesn't pick on his lifestyle, doesn't make fun of his heritage or poor living conditions. Instead, she accepts it and helps lift him up when he's vulnerable. Likewise with the naive Bolin, she doesn't exploit his sweetness or innocence as a point of mockery. Rather, Korra joins him in being silly, keeping him company on his youthful inexperience, and acts like a genuine sister towards him (note that Korra didn't actually take advantage of him in the episode with the first Makorra kiss; she legitimately thought he was inviting her for a night on the town in simple fun, as proved by her mortified reaction to seeing him appear with a bouquet of flowers and realizing he had crushed on her.)

Throughout Book One, Korra grows and matures from the bright-eyed, gung-ho girl she was into a more controlled, yet still eager to fight woman who is confident in her strengths while acknowledging she has much to learn. Korra's problem solving method is indeed to punch an issue, but she realizes she has to switch up her fighting style as the situation demands it (and unlike Strongarm, you don't have to turn her sideways to figure out she's a girl.)

But Strongarm remains static, unchanging from her "the world moves for me" attitude, and it take Sideswipe to be in her body for her cop lights to be used to blind an opponent.

Well, that's all I have to say on the matter. If you enjoyed this, thank you. It feels nice to have someone who doesn't blindly praise Strongarm here.

Til then -

"Rev up and roll out!"

[subwaylesbians]

homecoming

The train pulls into Union Square, and she can almost hear it - a thud, a shudder as the driver pumps the brakes. Bile rises in her throat. Across the aisle, a couple lean into each other lazily. Schoolgirls in crisp blue uniforms stifle laughter. The platform, lit in flickering fluorescents, looks the same as it ever has. She wonders who buried Fox, and under what name, and the thrumming in her ears grows louder.

1.3k. in which ajax gets out of jail, goes looking for swan, and finds someone else instead.

The city welcomes her back with horizontal sleet, piles of brown snow-mush lining the sidewalk. The clothes she is wearing were chosen for a September night, but she hardly minds the way the January chill rips through her - it is worth it for the familiar weight of the vest across her shoulders.

They would have come to collect her - of course they would have. But Ajax has seen Cleon's sympathetic manner when members get out. If anyone tries to be sympathetic in her direction, today of all days, she has resolute plans to throw a punch. And so she walks, from the bus stop to Queensboro Plaza, stares at rusting metal as she shivers and waits for the N.

The thing about guilt, she knows, is that you need something louder to drown it out. The cold almost works, for a while, pinpricks of pain against her face and arms. So far from Coney, with colours on, she holds onto the half-hope that someone will call her out for it - but they rattle through Queens, and then Manhattan, and no one challenges her. She wonders if Cleon has really managed to work that miracle Cyrus set in motion. Cleon had seemed different, on the one visit she and Rembrandt had made to Riker's - exhausted, but so determined. She had found that thing that sang louder than guilt, and it was hope. Ajax drums her fingers against the window, cursing the stupid treaty that had dragged them to the wrong side of the city. Hope doesn't do it for her. When you lose enough, it starts to feel a lot like stupidity.

The train pulls into Union Square, and she can almost hear it - a thud, a shudder as the driver pumps the brakes. Bile rises in her throat. Across the aisle, a couple lean into each other lazily. Schoolgirls in crisp blue uniforms stifle laughter. The platform, lit in flickering fluorescents, looks the same as it ever has. She wonders who buried Fox, and under what name, and the thrumming in her ears grows louder.

By the time the line ends it has become something frenetic, a pulsing behind her eyes. It lends a strange slant to the streets she's walked a thousand times, every colour slightly off and every sound setting her teeth on edge. Back on Warriors turf, without the need for vigilance to distract her, she feels the shame like a living thing at her back. She strides down Brighton 7th as though she could outrun it, but it clings on, joining the pain in a stifling chorus of should-have-been-there-should-have-been-there-you-should-have-been-there.

She passes a familiar brown-brick facade, and knows she should turn - there are people here who have been waiting on her for months. Rembrandt would look at her with that furrow in her brows that came out when she couldn't decide whether to throw her arms around Ajax or throw a punch. She would end up going for the former, she always did. She always forgave her. And the other bedroom, walls papered with posters Fox lifted from the cinema, would be empty. Right now, Ajax doesn't feel like being forgiven.

She doesn't remember consenting to the movement, but in a moment she is striding across the street. They all should have made it home, and if she hadn't been there, she needs answers from someone who was. The momentum of the thought carries her up three flights, and before she can question herself, she jams her spare key - for emergencies, on a technicality - into the lock. A figure in the kitchen glances up in surprise, coffee pot in hand and hair still messy from sleep. Not Swan, not Cleon, not Cochise. A new wave of anger flares in her stomach, and she welcomes it. They'd lost one of their own, but of course the stray they picked up in the gutter had made it home safe.

"Where's Swan?"

Mercy's eyes trail her up and down, taking in the tension in her jaw, the ball of her fists. "... Out. Does Cleon know you’re back? Does Rembrandt? ” When Ajax makes no attempt to either leave or answer the question, she sighs. "Do you want coffee? You look like shit."

“And you’re looking right at home.” She makes no attempt to hide the disdain in her voice.

“Because I live here. Do you have a problem?”

She almost laughs. "Your girlfriend promised she'd get us all home. That's my problem."

"She did her best."

"If her best ends up with a kid on the fucking tracks-"

"Don't call her a kid," Mercy snaps, and Ajax is surprised by the heat in her voice. "You didn't see her holding her own against the cop."

I didn't know there was a cop, she doesn't say. In the visitor's room at Riker's, with guards hovering close enough to catch every word, Cleon and Rembrandt had been careful. An accident, they had called it. Another gang, Ajax's mind had filled in. And she'd been right, in a way.

Something stings at the edge of her eyes. She plows on. "Where the fuck was Swan when they needed a fighter?"

"Where the fuck were you? Has it occurred to you that if you hadn't been so desperate to prove something, we would have had an extra person?"

It has. Every single day for the past four months, the knowledge has slid through her like a knife. But she is hardly about to admit that in front of the Orphan girl. "Stop saying we. Have you even been fucking initiated?"

Colour rises in Mercy’s cheeks. "I am just as much a part of this gang as you are."

Ajax sneers. "I'll take that as a no. So we're just letting anyone fuck their way in now?"

For a brief, hopeful moment she is certain the woman is going to hit her. Then a door creaks open down the corridor, and a voice, hoarse with sleep but unmistakably Swan's, says "You makin' coffee?"

Mercy's voice is light as she calls out, "I'll bring you one," but her eyes don't leave Ajax's. She takes a step to the side, planting herself conspicuously between Ajax and the hallway.

Ajax has seen plenty of fights in the past four months, thrown fists in a good few. The moment before a scrap always reminds her of stray cats in an alley - a drawn-out pause, an assessment. It had seemed natural amid the harsh lighting and ever-present commotion of Riker’s. It is much, much stranger to get that sense in her friends' kitchen, across from a woman in boxer shorts and a baseball shirt she is certain belongs to Swan.

Then Mercy glances back towards the hallway, and sighs. "His name is Victor Kelly, you know. Police captain. Just in case you wanted to direct all this" - she waves a hand at Ajax's entire being - "towards the cop who pushed her onto the fucking tracks. For God's sake, I'd help you. But leave Swan out of it. Everyone's spent three months picking up the pieces, and you don't get to come back and fuck that up."

Victor Kelly. She turns the name over in her mind. It is something to latch onto - a future where he has to watch his fucking back is a future worth seeing. But it also leaves her stranded, no one except the spectre of a police captain to train her anger on. She deflates, and Mercy must see it, because she shoves a mug of coffee in her direction. "Go home. They missed you."

Ajax knows what's waiting for her across the street - Rembrandt's disappointment, and an empty room that feels like an accusation. And yet all the fight has bled from her limbs, and she aches to be there anyway. Unwilling to lose whatever this stand-off is, she swipes the mug from the bench and turns towards the door. She hears it shatter, hears Mercy’s stream of curse words and Swan’s rushed footsteps, but she is already halfway down the stairs. She will make Kelly pay tomorrow. Today, she is going home.

(inspired by tags @emilywaters left on my post about ajax and guilt! nyc locals please don’t look too hard at the geography, mta trip planner and I gave it our best shot)

[bug111sworld]

Part 7

Eddie Munson x fem!! Reader

Enemies to lovers

You didn’t cry until the next morning.

You made it through dinner, through homework, through pretending like everything wasn’t caving in on you—but when your mom asked how school was, your voice cracked, and that was it.

You cried in the shower. In your bed. In your dreams.

Because it hadn’t just been a kiss or a crush or a party game—it had been him. The one person you’d let in, really let in, and he’d been playing a part the whole time.

At least at first.

And that’s what made it worse.

Because part of you believed him. Part of you wanted to believe that he meant it now. But that voice in your head—your old enemy—kept whispering:

You were a dare. A challenge. A joke.

---

Eddie was unraveling.

He didn’t show up to Hellfire.

Didn’t answer Dustin’s calls. Barely slept. Barely ate.

His guitar sat untouched in the corner of his room.

He kept playing the moment over and over in his head—your voice, small and broken, asking if it had been a bet. The way you looked at him like you didn’t even recognize him anymore.

He deserved it.

But God, it hurt.

He'd made the stupid bet in September—cocky and bitter and still half-convinced you'd never look at him like he was anything but a freak.

And now?

Now you were all he could think about.

The first time you passed each other again, it was in silence.

You were leaving chemistry. He was walking in. For half a second, your eyes met—and it was like being punched in the chest.

Eddie looked wrecked. Dark circles, messy hair, haunted expression.

You weren’t doing much better.

Neither of you said anything.

You didn’t have to.

The silence said it all

It was Dustin who finally snapped.

He cornered Eddie in the cafeteria and slammed his tray down like he was about to stage an intervention.

“You’re a dumbass.”

Eddie didn’t even flinch. “Yeah. Got that covered, thanks.”

“You hurt her.”

“I know.”

“You liked her.”

“I still do.”

Dustin leaned closer, dropping his voice. “Then why the hell are you sitting here pretending like it's over?”

Eddie stared at his half-eaten food. “Because I broke it. And she deserves better.”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Okay, Shakespeare. You screwed up. Cool. Guess what? So does everyone. The difference is whether or not you fight for it after.”

Eddie blinked.

Fight for it.

He hadn’t even let himself hope that was an option.

Until now.

It happened after school, behind the gym—neutral territory, where no one else lingered and the world felt a little quieter.

You didn’t expect to see him there. You were just trying to breathe, to escape the weight of pretending.

But then… there he was.

Eddie.

Leaning against the brick wall, hands shoved deep in his pockets, eyes locked on you like he’d been waiting.

You stopped. Every part of you screamed run.

But your feet didn’t move.

And neither did his.

He straightened up slowly, unsure. Careful. “Hey.”

You crossed your arms. “Don’t.”

His jaw tightened. “Please. Just let me say what I came to say.”

You didn’t answer, but you didn’t walk away either.

“I was a coward,” he began. “I made a dumb bet because I was angry, and stupid, and I thought I knew who you were.”

You raised an eyebrow. “And who was I, exactly?”

He flinched. “Untouchable. Too good. The kind of girl who’d laugh if I ever said more than two words to her.”

You swallowed hard.

“I was wrong,” he said softly. “About everything. Especially you.”

You shook your head, voice cracking. “You made me fall for you.”

“I fell first.”

That stopped you.

Eddie stepped closer. “I swear to God, (Y/N), it stopped being a joke the second you looked at me like I was real. And then it was just—us. And it was everything.”

“I don’t know how to trust you,” you whispered.

“I’ll earn it,” he said. No hesitation. “Even if it takes forever. Even if you never look at me the same again. I’m not walking away.”

You looked at him, broken and bruised and still standing in front of you.

“Say it wasn’t a game,” you said. “Swear to me.”

“I swear,” he said instantly, eyes shining. “You were never a game. You were the end of the game.”

You bit your lip, torn wide open. “I don’t forgive you.”

“I know.”

“But I don’t want to hate you either.”

His breath hitched. “Then what do you want?”

You took one step forward.

“Time.”

Eddie nodded, eyes never leaving yours. “Take all of it. I’m not going anywhere.”

You didn’t touch. Didn’t kiss. Didn’t say anything else.

But for the first time in weeks… something in the air shifted.

Not fixed. Not yet.

But maybe—maybe—on its way.

[sunkissedscribbles]

Prejudiced - Chapter Fifteen

this is only a part of the series, the previous and next chapters can be found here 

A/N: (half) a day in the life of the chaos quintet WORD COUNT: 1k TW: swearing, maybe? sex implied

<PREVIOUS CHAPTER         NEXT CHAPTER>

The silence before the storm after Enzo and I make up lasts shorter than I anticipated. I knew something would challenge our relationship again, if not with Enzo then with either Mattheo, Theo or Ki. But I thought we'd get more time before everything goes downhill. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong.

After a long discussion with Enzo about the past weeks, what we missed in each other's lives, his current lifestyle with the black book, and concerns about Mattheo's nightmares I had no idea he knew about (even Theo doesn't. All he knows is that he doesn't sleep well,) I step out of his room wearing his Slytherin sweater as the hoodie I was wearing is still crimson from the dried blood of the boy, only to walk right into Theodore.

This is where chaos starts; Theo's coming from the girls' dormitories' direction when we collide, and he steadies me, still standing at Enzo's door, wearing his sweater, and the Italian steadies me before raising his eyebrows at me. "Enzo's?" he takes in the green sweater, and I nod. "Did you two-"

"Merlin's bollocks! No!"

He snickers, still a bit skeptic, but then continues, "Alright, alright, it's just quite the sight. The sweater, the sneaking-around."

I roll my eyes, "I'm not sneaking around, I'm-"

I stop mid-sentence as I look to the side when hearing footsteps and the obvious sounds of kissing, and my mind goes blank as I forget what I wanted to say.

And then, this only increases confusion in me, my usually collected expression faltering for a moment as a pang of... something courses through my veins, seeing Mattheo's hands tangled in Marietta's strawberry blonde locks, their lips crashing against each other as Mattheo pushes the girl into his dorm. Something... jealousy?

I look down at my feet before meeting Theo's knowing, yet empathetic gaze, and I compose myself before those blue eyes could bore into my soul. "Don't look at me like that," I point a finger at him, my expression hardening, becoming unreadable.

"Like what?" he raises his brows before retorting, "How should I look at you then? Like I didn't know you fell for him?"

I stop breathing for a moment, and there's a second where my heart stops beating as well before skyrocketing. "I- no. I did not."

He scoffs, amused at my reaction. But it's true; I didn't fall for Mattheo. Not the slightest. "Oh, right. My bad," he lifts two hands into the air, but as my mind drifts back to what I saw seconds ago, I see Theo's eyes soften again, and he pulls me into a hug. I don't think I have hugged him in, like, months. But it feels nice. So nice.

The last time someone hugged me...

Was a week ago. I was sleeping with Mattheo's head on my chest after one of his nightmares. I felt so alive. Wanted, almost. I felt so...

I brush the thought away as I realize I should reciprocate the gesture and then wrap my arms around him.

"I-I'll go to Ki's," I mutter, pulling back from Theo.

"She's not in her room."

"How do you-?" I frown but the realization hits me like a ton of bricks. But my frown only deepens. "I thought you were with someone."

He looks at me sheepishly, as if he'd been caught. He wasn't messing around with someone else.

"Wait. Where have you been all day?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Just... catching up on some homework," he shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant, and I snort a laugh.

"Theodore Nott? Studying on Valentine's? You've been spreading love last year, as you worded. What's happened since?"

He doesn't answer, probably knowing I'd realize sooner or later.

Oh, and I do. He spent Valentine's Day alone. Alone, longing for someone who only wants friends with benefits. My eyes widen at the revelation and my mouth hangs slightly open. He fell for Kiara. He genuinely did fall for the only girl he can't have the way he wants.

At that, I pull him into another tight hug, feeling his muscles tense and then relax as he melts against me, his head falling in the crook of my neck.

But this makes me wonder; where the hell has Kiara spent her entire day if not with Theo, in bed?

After leaving Theo in the hallway, I make my way back to the common room, to leave the Dungeons through it, but the Universe, again, has other plans, as for the third time this day, I walk into someone. But now, this is actually Kiara, and I'm waiting for a cocky remark about what I might be doing turning from the boys' dormitories, but all I get is her broken gaze through the tears bubbling in her eyes.

"Ki? What happened-" I start, concerned, but she cuts me off.

"Nothing," she passes me by and her door is shut by the time I turn around to stop her.

Dumbfounded, I stare at the wooden surface before trying to open it to get into my best friend's room, but it's locked. Not wanting to break the door on her, knowing I'd only do more damage to her mental state right now than actual help, I lean my forehead against it, speaking softly.

"Ki... you don't have to talk about it. About anything, at all. Just... let me in, please."

After some snickering from the inside, I hear the door lock click and I creak the door open, and gently close it behind myself as I look over at her tear-streaked face before walking over to her and pull her into a hug after scooting close to her on the bed.

She starts sobbing into Enzo's sweater I'm wearing, and my heart breaks while rubbing her back soothingly, whispering sweet nothings into her about everything being okay and how it's gonna be all fine.

"Men are pigs," she rubs her eyes after raising her head from my chest.

I sigh, brushing a strand behind her ear, smiling sadly, empathetically. "I know."

Oh and how right she is...

tag list: @inksoakedparchment @mattiesgf @mqstermindswift @girllblogging777 @myysunshine @yelanare @mamartinez

☆ TAG LIST

[wendichester]

𓂃˖ ࣪ 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔟𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤

˚₊‧꒰ა ella ☆ sam winchester ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ⋆˙⟡ where aquarius, libra, cancer meets taurus, virgo*, capricorn. ⟡˙⋆

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐

ꔛ. meeting each other,

you’re not a hunter by trade, but you’ve never been able to ignore your instincts—your cancer moon and pisces mercury make you deeply intuitive, almost psychic in the way you pick up on things others don’t. maybe you’ve been noticing the signs—things not adding up, shadows moving where they shouldn’t, people disappearing in patterns no one else seems to see. sam finds you because you’ve already started putting the pieces together. maybe it’s a string of omens that lead you to the same town he’s working a case in, or maybe you reach out to the right ( or wrong ) person, unknowingly catching his attention. your aquarius sun makes you intelligent, logical, but unconventional—you see patterns no one else does. sam, with his taurus sun and capricorn moon, is used to being the one making connections, but with you? it’s different. you aren’t reckless, but you’re persistent. and sam? he respects that. against his better judgment, he lets you in on the case, at least a little. but something tells him—this isn’t the last time your paths will cross.

ꔛ. friendship compatibility,

your friendship is quiet, but deep. the kind that forms through shared understanding, through silences that don’t need filling. your venus in capricorn and mars in taurus mean you’re steady, reliable, someone who doesn’t make promises lightly—and sam, with his own taurus and capricorn-heavy chart, values that more than anything. at first, it’s slow to warm up. sam isn’t quick to trust, and you? you don’t let just anyone into your inner world, either. but once the bond is there, it’s unshakable. he’s the friend who remembers your coffee order, who sends you lore articles at 3 a.m. because he knows they’ll interest you, who listens when no one else does. but it’s not all serious—your aquarius sun and cancer moon make you unpredictable in the best ways. you pull sam out of his head, make him laugh when he needs it most. and his gemini venus? it means he loves someone who can challenge him, make him think in new ways. the conversations are endless, ranging from philosophy to the best kind of pie.

ꔛ. romantic compatibility,

this is a love that builds slowly, carefully, but with unshakable depth. your venus in capricorn and sam’s capricorn moon mean you both take love seriously. there are no half-measures here—if you let someone in, it’s for real. at first, sam might seem distant, and you might mistake his hesitation for disinterest. but the truth? he’s watching, waiting, making sure this is safe—because neither of you do shallow love. your cancer moon craves emotional security, and sam’s taurus sun and mars make him steady, protective, reliable—exactly what you need. but your aquarius sun and pisces mercury also need space, freedom to think and feel in your own way, and that’s where things get complicated. sam can be rigid, stuck in his ways, while you can be elusive, hard to pin down emotionally. communication is key here—you both need to express what you feel instead of assuming the other person just knows. physically? your mars in taurus and his mars in taurus make for a slow-burn, deeply sensual connection. this isn’t a whirlwind romance—it’s built, brick by brick, with trust, patience, and an intensity that grows over time.

ꔛ. request, general interaction

sam glances up from his book, watching as you pace the motel room, deep in thought. “you do this a lot,” he says, tilting his head. you blink. “do what?” “go quiet. get lost in your own head.” he closes the book, resting his elbow on the table. “what are you thinking about?” you hesitate, then sigh. “just… something about this case doesn’t add up.” sam leans forward, eyes sharp. “show me.” and just like that, you’re sitting beside him, pouring over notes, piecing together theories, your thoughts flowing effortlessly into his. the pieces start clicking into place, and for a moment, you forget the world outside. this is how it always is with you two—two minds, one rhythm, always searching for the answers together.

ꔛ. overall, score : 9 / 10

this is a connection that is deep, intellectual, and built on mutual understanding. your friendship is solid, dependable, full of quiet moments and meaningful conversations. romantically, it’s slow-burn, grounded, and deeply intimate, but it requires patience and communication to fully flourish. you balance each other in subtle but powerful ways, and if you both allow yourselves to be vulnerable? it could be the kind of love that lasts a lifetime.

ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ

* since the birth time of sam hasn't ever been mentioned, I've placed him as a virgo rising, since it's the sign that makes more sense to me.

[becomingkatie]

I came into work today to an email with "URGENT" in the subject line. There's a meeting in half an hour and the last time we met with this partner earlier in this program, E made the slides and led the discussion. But now it's been like a year and M and I are more involved. Neither M nor I have a relationship with this partner, but E does, but M and I are leading this program now. So E was thinking M and I would make slides and M and I were thinking E would make slides. Classic case of just no one really being wrong but all of us kind of dropping the ball. Anyway, I made slides and E is going to lead the discussion since he actually knows these people.

Also got an email from a customer saying, "Remember that work you did in 2023? We have a follow-up question for you." So now I'm digging through that old work trying to see if I have the data they want or if I need to set up another simulation (and re-familiarize myself with the models to do that) to create the data since it wasn't part of the original ask.

And later today we've got a meeting with the customer where the buyer yelled at us and then immediately said, "Katie, you need to smile," in the last meeting we had on these pricing negotiations. Ken is like, "EJ really should have been like, 'That's not appropriate, you need to treat Katie with respect or we're going to leave this meeting.'" and I'm like honey that is great but this guy is old and challenging him just turns him into a brick wall who can't hear reason. On a preliminary call early this week the guy was like "this is news to me" about an item we have put in bold and highlighted text at the top of emails AND verbally discussed WITH HIM in December. He does not read the materials, does not retain information, and then gets on meetings and yells at us but then eventually signs the checks, and we're so so close to finishing out this program so we're all just putting up with it to get this gosh darn satellite on a rocket and into space.

I haven't historically talked about my job much on here, and that is gonna stay the general way it is (I am a high performer but I am not emotionally invested in this job; I am emotionally invested in becoming a big enough author that I can quit being an engineer) but clearly this week is testing me.

[toomanytookas]

PPCU Fandom Projects Digest:

January/February 2025

A summary of projects that wrapped up last month, ones to look forward to this month (and more), and one plucked from the past to (re)discover for your TBR! First time hearing about the database? More info available here. Happy early Valentine's! If you're seeing this I'm sending you a sparkly little heart. 💖

January Projects

@beefrobeefcal - New Year, Same Peña

@jolapeno - dear-uary

@wannab-urs - Dom that Middle Aged Man Campaign

Projects Open to Participants

@beefrobeefcal - Half Bricked, Wrong Time [Get assigned a P boy and a scenario for his ill-timed boner]

@grogusmum - Hazel’s Valentine’s Day Pedro Boy Conversation Hearts Game [Submit an ask to receive a moodboard with a mystery P boy valentine]

@guiltyasdave & @sizzlingcloudmentality - Writing Through the Seasons [An angsty Fall-themed Javi G is waiting for his match!]

@happypedrohours - Bouquets of Pedro Creativity Challenge as part of Happy Pedro Hours - Pink Edition [Pick a number to be assigned a P boy and a Valentine's day prompt]

@ishabull - The Cupid Seller Valentine's Extravaganza [A variety of activities to celebrate Valentine's, mythology, and Isabel's fic The Cupid Seller.]

@kedsandtubesocks - Wild Ride [Hired gun Dave wants YOU!]

@pascalsvalentinemailbox - send valentine greetings via ask box

@peepawispunk - Pedro Cinematic Universe Valentine's Event [A soulmate-themed challenge with assigned P boy and dialogue]

@yxtkiwiyxt - Never Have I Ever [have some fun with a take on the classic sleepover/party game] Adjacent to the PPCU, @tommymariaweek25 is coming up! There are daily prompts for inspiration.

(Re)Discover an Older Project (selected for theme this time)

Space Sisters - My Secret Valentine 2024

Check out the masterlist for this secret someone style gift exchange, featuring 21 works by members of the Space Sisters discord server.

[junejasprose-addict]

I'm moving different

We smoking juju

She tried doing psionics on my ass, i snapped her silver cord in half and flossed with it. This shit ain't nothing to me man

where moving different man. where making this hapen

My money longer than act 6

I make more money in a week than crockercorp does in a year

Yesterday i killed someone over vriscourse

You wouldn't survive a day in my session. Just to challenge myself, I prototyped my kernel sprite with heroin laced garlic bread and the taxidermy wooly mammoth I keep in my trophy crypt. Every imp had the vengeful spirits of extinction in them, and their blood was poison. I felt alive

Kanaya thinks she's a rainbow drinker, but she's not him. I am!

I'm already him

I'm the ultimate him

I read all 8000 pages of himstuck

I'm a member of the himnight crew

I died in my quest coffin and ascended to him tier, and nothing changed, because ive always been him

We smoking that sburban jungle trickster mode post canon god tier build grist

That tentabulge got me feeling disappointed and inert

My hands can coexist with your crushed wind pipe you stupid bitch

I fought the homestuck, I put the clown down

I'm dracula. I'm 12 million years old. I'm thinking different. I made sburb. I programmed that shit, waited a few millenia, then put it on some random kids' computers, and now we're here. This was always the plan

I flipped a brick to the batterwitch hours before [s] collide, she was high off her ass when them kids beat the shit out of her. Now I have a whole new universe to fuck with

Got it all on camera, put live leak out of business

She sucked my meat AND my candy. I had a picnic on her ass

That green skeleton king put a tooth in me, I got quantum poisoning, so she fucked me in the back of my dead dad's 2007 Volkswagen beetle before my family reunion

I don't pull out, I sylladex the cum before it can reach her cruxite dowel

I alchemized a 1399 bottle of mead with a pound of crack, cost me more grist then there are stars in the milky way. When I woke up, I was naked and afraid

Hussie tried to kill me, they forgot that you can't fight the dracula

Bec noir whimpered when he saw my fangs, he knew his time was up

I did something wrong

Ultimate self? Fuck that, I killed every other version of myself in all of paradox space. Well, except for junedraculasprite^2, she was kinda chill

My balls smoother than doc scratch's head

This zaza got terezi loco

This Zaza got terezi sane

Junejasprose is all I think about

I fucked a horrorterror, worst mistake of my life. I had tentacles clogging up my sylladex, and I had several bricks at the bottom of my deck. Took 30 business days for me to get to that shit, money hemorrhaging more than my ass was

I showed up to the convention in my thief of blood god tier clothes, when a pack of eridan cosplayers made fun of my hairline. Now they're thralls in my basement, playing jump rope with each other's intestines

I snapped a horn off of some dude's skull and grafted it onto my own. Then we had a unicorn joust, and I skewered his stupid ass. Blue rained on me like I was Brad armstrong

Princes don't live in ships, they sleep in coffins. Only gills you'll have is the bite marks on your neck

This shit ain't nothing to me man