#half of this stuff doesnt even make sense without the context i have

[indigosfindings]

replaying super paper mario, sporadic thoughts post-chapter 2:

very easy so far--& although ttyd was also easy, spm's gameplay is sadly substantially less rich thab ttyd's was

having said that the game design in spm is! unrelentingly charming!! the use of platforming as a framework for a varied stream of stage styles (straightforward levels, dungeons, towns, the entire 2-3 Situation) is creative in a way that imo predicts the sort of things the mario maker community later ended up making. chapter 2's set pieces in particular are extremely quirky (the rooms with traps, the rubee thing, the mazelike basement, the merlee game show lmao)

few platformers have boss fights that feel like genuine Combat, so that's pretty cool

i will confess that as a First Dungeon, yold ruins doesnt have half the sauce of hooktail castle--it's much more linear in layout, with far less of that zelda-y "explore & comprehend the space" principle that made ttyd's dungeons hit

in a similar vein, it's kind of crazy how tippi has like a fraction of the personality that goombella had. it's a bit sad for the character doing the vast majority of the talking to just.... not really have any opinions on anything

the momentum of the chapters likewise means very few npcs ever get to stick out. like, even the "first town crotchety old mayor" character was a total one-and-done, one dialogue and you never have a reason to speak to him again (mostly just speaks to the game structure, which is as mentioned a bold enough exercise that i feel i cant really fault it for that)

bringing up a menu to use items In A Platforming Context is not at all natural to me, so im finding myself just not really using them

this game is a masterclass in visual design imo. the npcs & enemies & pixls being made of primitives that reconfigure themselves into different shapes really elevates the interplay of 2d & 3d, the backgrounds/environments are extremely aesthetically satisfying (the Mathmosphere in lineland, the optical illusion in the sky in gloam valley, all of castle bleck), & i love how the constant "digital/tech" motif (eg the "dragging selection boxes to flip/teleport", the trees & shrubs looking like something youd make in ms paint, etc) is an ingenious progression of paper mario's core aesthetic design

dimentio is so fun

i ADOOOORE nastasia

the inter-chapter dialogue flashbacks are surprisingly earnest? for such a tongue-in-cheek game where almost every line of dialogue contains a joke of some kind, those exchanges feel humourless & sincere. that probably contributes to the Space the game occupies in all of our memories lol

likewise it was really interesting how peach's "escape" sequence after chapter 1 was (while, again, still extremely sardonic) aesthetically & narratively framed with such a sense of Hopelessness. that's not to say like "woahh this mario game is 10x darker than you thought!!!!", more that it's just not a space the series commonly ventures into

the Ancients stuff is being leaned into extremely hard lol. ttyd mostly teases at that kind of "mysterious rpg lore" thing peripherally (the riddle tower inscriptions, grifty, etc) so it's interesting how spm puts it front & centre in contrast, without ever sacrificing the sense of mystique

this game really highlights how interesting the wiimote is as a controller--pressing the A button while holding it sideways (ie removing your left thumb from the direction input to press a button) is something that i cant think of any other controller doing, & it projects onto that button a really interesting sense of, like, Valence

it's the kind of game that seems to beg for one of thsoe posts like "things that ACTUALLY HAPPEN in _____"

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[whisperwritingstuff]

mmm I like both of these games:)

unfortunately ive never seen pacrim tho so i dont have much context for that verse😔 ill have to add to my watchlist!

reverse!Scar in main!Scar oh god the meltdown would be So Real like "dude wtf i just spent so much time trying to even get cub back as a person and you just. Handed Him Over???"

but objectively putting reverse!grian in main would be both funny and tragic. he has such a sense of fairness in main, and rn he's dealing w instincts hard so its harder to see yet, but if he has the same need for fairness he would be both super happy that he'd be getting what he wanted wrt convex but also "i did not earn this trust i do not deserve this"- feel like w where reverse!grians at right now I could see him either making the best of it or just self sabotaging so he doesnt get anything he hasnt earned :3

im curious as to which point in the storyline we would swap reverse!Cub out. cos like rn bro is Angry. he seems like hes good at compartmentalizing tho (part of the reason w all the verses meeting up, theyre the most chill i think)

i definitely wholesale recommend pacific rim as a movie, the visuals and use of color is amazing the characters are vibrant and the concepts are delicious to chew on. also ripe for au ideas, drift compatible as a concept is a blessing, etc etc.

can you Imagine reverse scar shouting at main scar about just Handing Cub Over and main scar just hits him back with "Sure but I didn't leave my Cub alone and instincts zonked for a week! Our Cub's been person-Cub the whole time!" they are having a cat fight these scars are mauling one another its vicious. literally either of their cubs could break it up and they Won't. main grian might step in eventually but mostly b/c he feels kind of bad for his scar kicking reverse scar's ass more as the fight drags on.

but like if reverse scar is just waking up in that life with no main scar to actually yell at for it, he's having the meltdown, he's getting everything he was jealous of, he's jumpy and skittish and terrified every time grian so much as looks at him(and grian looks at him a lot very worried).

reverse grian waking up in main would probably spend at least half a day fully convinced he's dreaming, or that he's having a particularly vivid daydream, he just wants so so badly to play along with a convex that actually want to be his. waking up with both of them cuddled up to him, all sleepy and warm and comfortable? not having to step over that line himself to claim scar? he craves comfort with the parched fervor of a lost wanderer in the desert and convex are Providing. it takes a few days to emotionally sort himself out enough with their support that the guilt can start to set in and grian begins to try to distance himself and figure out what happened. at which point scar drapes himself on reverse grian like 'oh are we done play-pretending? can we get our grian back now?'

i was mostly thinking of cub as he is in the current snipbits yea, so freshly woken and yeah pretty heckin angry abt some stuff. just that quiet kind of anger. simmering. not boiled up into something active yet. there's a nonzero chance that if he woke up on main he'd straight up try to break scar's summoner bond without asking, because clearly the talking approach didn't work out. if he was swapped while still zonked that would be. shall we say. concerning to main scar and grian. just in a different way than woke up and chose violence cub.

[lordoftablecloths]

vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

[sp-ud]

Oh fuck original art of an oc? On my mostly em sea u toob blog?

Whoa :o

Thearius [Th-air-e-us] is one of the hunters for my original story im starting work on, Venatio. I'm gonna ramble on about them some more under a "keep reading" that I hope will work right because rn im on mobile.

Okay looks like the read more worked, pog! Hope yall don't mind me writing out how to pronounce stuff.

[A lot of this is no longer true lmao]

Thearius, or as she's known by friends, Thea [th-ee-uh], or by her family, Eari [air-ee], or by her many internet followers, Rius [ree-us]. Is a 19 year old new hunter for Venatio [Ven-nah-see-o]. Even before her debut Eari was pretty popular online due to her sassy and rude personality, her wild training livestreams, and the conspiracy theory about her being the secret child of semi-retired Venatio legends Therapho [Thuh-er-a-foe] and Aries. Not many people actually believe said theory, and Eari often jokes about it herself like its wild and out there... but its actually true, she is their kid.

Eari has shown amazing skill with his axe, and was quickly accepted to be a part of the new season of Venatio. Not only is he a skilled hunter, with years of training from three of the best players under his belt, he also has an oddly charming personality, something Venationes [Ven-nah-see-o-neighs] need to keep viewers interested.

Their overconfidence shines through with their outfit, both revealing and with bright neon colors, bad for defense and camouflage. They also specifically style their hair to show off their multi-colored eye, and are showing stomach to flex that cool scar they got from a respawn glitch during training with their sister once.

They're unapologetically themselves and thats what so many people love about them. Including me. But idk if I count because I'm the writer.

Also here's some more art of them, if you read this I love you.

(First one is the first time I drew him, using the designs for Therapho and Aries to make their bby) (Middle one is him in a dress with a matching axe, because of course he has an axe that matches all his outfits) (Last one includes a 1st attempt at Claire, one of the prey for the new season of Venatio) ((Eari has a weakness for girls taller than him, poor Claire doesn't know why he staring))

[antiloreolympus]

11 Anti LO Asks

1. Zeus would make a much more compelling character if RS grounded his obsession with gaining respect in the context of his childhood: He could’ve been Rhea’s favourite kid and grew a huge ego/sense of entitlement as a result while feeling deeply under appreciated by his brothers and Hera for his instrumental role in rescuing them and his care for her respectively, unable to look past his own trauma and ego to see that they too are struggling with their own demons rather than neglecting him.

2. I’m gonna have disagree with that one anon saying narrators are always a sign of weak storytelling because that’s not always the truth. Hades the game for example has a narrator and it’s used very effectively to give it an fairytale-like feel, a funny thing for zag to comment on because he can hear them and he will often comment on the rude things they say, and also provides a bit of world building. A narrator is also good if it’s established beforehand who is saying the narration, such as a storyteller or prophet, and it can establish to the audience they are viewing something from the past, and they can speak when there are major shifts in the story, not throughout the whole thing. A narrator in LO isn’t even a bad idea, the issue is it should have been established much earlier, maybe even episode one is we’re being honest, instead of just coming out of nowhere to speak of stuff in the future? It’s also pretty purposely only being there to be a cliffhanger instead of even putting in effort to make it interesting enough for anyone to care or come back without the narration there basically begging them to care what’s going on. It’s very strange and shows a lack of confidence and effort in her writing to be so literally spelled out like that.

I agree with the other comments too. The font is atrocious. LO is usually really good with fonts and they picked one that was visually very ugly and hard to read with an even worse color. I didn’t even think the fonts would degrade too like the art, and yet here we are!

3. I love how rachel dropped the cover for vol 2 of LO and its just a treasure trove of book design failures. her name is on top, giving the impression both she is the title and she cares more about getting her own name out there over the actual story, empty space where the title should be, the title covering most of hades, the title being cramped so much to cover him, persephone being covered by volume two, the list goes on. the first cover wasnt much better, but this is much worse.

4. RS is willing to change aspects of the story according to fan speculation but isn't down to do anything that would retcon out the offensive stereotypes, the homophobia, or the character-assassination of apollo.

5. I’m pretty sure Hera and Echo will have an infidelity arc followed by betrayal thanks to Echo’s role in Zeus’s meddling. It’s already established that Hera is just as willing to cheat as Zeus is and Echo’s blue colouration and short hair is clearly reminiscent of Hades. Given how RS has stated that character colour palettes are symbolic, I wouldn’t overlook this detail (the one instance of RS actually sticking to her colour rules lol). Also, Ares’ comment just seems to imply it!

6. Yo I just saw RS Insta story- SHES ALREADY MAKING A VOLUME TWO BOOK???? When the first volume isn’t out yet?????? Tbh, I never expected this 

7. Daphne has more personality than Persephone. Though both came from the same deprives mortal realm background, Daphne is thriving. Unlike Persephone, she’s confident and willing to take control over her own life (though this is only illustrated in the context of her dating life which is sad af, female characters never get any other kind of agency in LO). Perse would be a more interesting protagonist if she had Daphne’s (still limited af) personality.

8. There seems to be a lot of infighting here regarding Myth Hades and Persephone and it's 'modern retelling' or butchering by RS.

All fighting aside on whether Hades was a good husband and Persephones role (or lack of agency) in the myth of the Kidnapping - what is actually wrong with appreciating the myth as is?

(Isn't the myth there to give an explanation as to why the seasons change? As well as being a story of a mother in grief over her lost daughter? And her fight to find her?)

Also, in that context, is there really something wrong with liking the... lets say more "modern" adaptations of the Myth where Hades and Persephone loved one another, so long as one understands and respects the original canon (sources) and culture from which it originated?

9. The way Daphne is drawn went from sweet girl-next-door to model with overfilled lips and too many surgical alterations to increase her sex appeal.. Her lips look like they’ve been stung by several bees in the latest FP what is up with that? It’s especially irksome since RS normally draws very nice looking full lips (I.e Persephone) but they just look so off on Daphne.

10. So Minthe being in the story so early on (and already dating Hades) is lets say an "interesting" narrative choice. Mainly because it feels like RS did this because she doesnt want to acknowledge that Hades may have loved someone other than Persephone.

Because (as far as I am aware) Minthe does not show up until after Hades and Persephone are already married. And Hades did care about Minthe (as I believe one anon mentioned - he named a mountain after her?) - and she was stomped on by Persephone for daring to say that Hades liked her more.

It feels like RS made this narrative choice because she wanted to (mess with the myths) showcase that Persephone is Hades 'One True Love' and the only way she could think do to that was to make Minthe a vicious abuser. Which is unfair.

11. Uh ��. Why are they already publishing a volume 2 or LO only four months after the first one? If they keep that rate up won’t they catch up really quick to the actual comic and run out of stuff to publish? I would be pissed to get a book with a cover with effort put into it just to get rushed nonsense in the actual book. Girl take a break.

Also the logo is literally covering up half of the couple while there is a giant empty space above them so her name is the main focus. Either Rachel is shit at book cover design (likely) or she needs to stroke her ego real bad and make sure her own name is the main focus. Good lord. 

[jalboyhenthusiast]

Okay here is my larrie story. So i was always aware of 1D existing. Mainly because of Zayn because I'm Pakistani so there was this hype that theres this band and theres a Pakistani guy in it (even though he was born in UK and is British Pakistani its still always like this source of connection when someone from a similar background does something). Ive never really kept up with celebrities or fandoms or anything like that and I'm also not into music much so while i was aware of 1D and knew they existed i didnt keep up with them. I knew that Zayn left and then that they broke up but just these general things that were huge news.

And after that again i think when Harry Styles started becoming bigger i knew about his existence but i only knew the one song (Watermelon Sugar) lol. So ive pretty much been the general public. I never knew Louis had a girlfriend or a kid (lol again). The only one i was vaguely aware of having a kid was Zayn. But i never followed any of the guys.

Then about 2 to 3 months back i came across a video either on youtube or instagram explore i dont even remember what it was that cause my first look at larry. I just know i entered this rabbit hole without any idea what this first entry point was. But whatever it was led me to watch videos on YouTube and search up more about larry including the original media to make my own informed decision on whether i believe it or not. And honestly larry being real is the only thing that makes sense to me. I mean there'sother shady 1D stuff too besides Larry which does not make sense but a lot of shady stuff around Harry and Louis both now and in the past as well as the context of it only has one explanation. Learning about Larry is what made me a fan of both Harry and Louis as well as the other boys both in their solo careers and 1D in the past. I also only entered the fandom for larrie otheriwse i usually am okay being a fan of people without entering fandome spaces because they can be too draining for me (like even seeing the subgroups and multiple negative posts/takes etc in the 1D fandom can get a lot so i try to just stay in my own lane, follow people quite carefully and avoid stuff that makes me upset though that doesnt always work). Overal though i can manage being in the fandom for them.

Anyways ive been loving all these 1D boys since then and my heart hurts for all they've gone through. We dont even know the half of it. So yeah anyways im just here to wish the best for them and follow them.

Btw love your blog. Hope you are well and wishing you a good day/afternoon/evening. I hope you dont mind the long messages i have sent. All the love 💕

this was so interesting!! i can’t believe this was all only in the span of 2-3 months i’m in awe. you must have read a loooot of stuff 😳 i’m also the same as you w not entering fandom spaces for other ppl i like. ty for sharing!!

[heat0death0of0the0universe]

i gotta talk about Narrative Telephone

I. Fucking. Love. It.

when my extreme dislike of second-hand embarrassment takes a loud backseat i can fin so much that i love about it. 

but what i love most isn't the humor. or even the continued critical role content. no, i love the allegory and the metaphor of the whole concept. 

all my life i loved the concept of watching time move forward. seeing evolution, hearing language change, watching cultures rise and fall. but what i dont like is time and the fact that im along for the ride. id rather watch evolution, not be step 48801 of a process with no end. and sadly most media and general public doesn't like watching time change. no one wants too see how the English language evolves with a rise in Spanish speaking folks and pop culture creating new idioms and words. everyone would much rather watch something with the same animals with the same people walking the same cities speaking the same language, albeit maybe with a few more neon lights and holograms to make you feel like its in some vague ~future~. but narrative telephone gives me the change i like to see. i can finally feel like im watching a story going through the times and changes of a culture.

im gonna need to explain a little more. what better way than to show off all the current episodes.

episode one is simple, pumat and the big bad wolf. the sorry starts with pumat on a stroll through the woods. he finds a talking wolf and they fight. the story ends with the pumat eating a nice mushroom and wolf stew. but the changes to the story are what get to me. i love ashley, trust me i really do. but in this context, she’s basically the dark ages. everything crumbles and the story follows in the crash. this point is when the more brothers grimm tales and nonsense folklore are added in. people dont like the night, so the seen changes to match. suddenly the wolf not only speaks, but has a beak! the fighting through being somewhat vague in the original story now is lost to time and is none existent. taliesin builds off it, changing it ever so slightly from a garbled to a more of a warning story. a story that reflects a change in a cultures thoughts on the woods. when everything was all writings and giant building the woods where just a place to rule over and harvest, but after the fall now its returned to the unexplored. the place of fey and monsters that should never be explored at night. marisha adds winter and gives it just the smallest bit of added context. a man in the woods during night before might have been seen as mad or crazy, but a man scrounging for some mushrooms in a dead forest in winter isnt tempting fate, he’s struggling to live. a shift in view also makes it so that the beaked magic wolf is just as weakened by the winter, and is easily turned away by just a voice. sam is..something. if ashley is the dark ages than id say sam is like a renaissance. specifically a very drunk renaissance. the kingdom was risen and is filled with hubris and pride.its gained a very “man falls for his hubris” greek vibe to it.  pumat has gone from scavenging to walking unbothered by cold dead winter. the kingdom has lost its enjoyment of strange creatures, monsters are still around in legend, but most have been replaced with magical people, with a clear rise in “person in an animals skin” tropes. the original fight has been mostly lost, now the story is that of a magic hunter who eyes the mushrooms taken by pumat and gives a chuckle and permission to continue exploring the woods unimpeded. pumat eats just the mushrooms, which now have gained the lupine taste, and the vague description of “he became something more” giving the idea of some sort of curse for his nature. Laura has added back the wolfs anger, but removed the suspicion of pumat. the curse is still in the end of the story though. this could be a change into more of a forbidden fruit trope. because pumat still trusted strange mushrooms in a dead forest with a magic guardian, he paid the price. travis is a sort of close to modernization of the story. its the point in time when its nonsensical nature and magic was viewed as weird and convoluted.  similar to when we look at older myths with long intricate plans and think “nice story, but poor pacing”. liam goes for the “granddad telling stories by the fire” vibe. the tale has died down and is being co-opted for new use. now the rather dark tale has turned into more of a children's storybook with messages like not to trust strangers and to not do drugs being tagged on. 

ep. 2: jesters ability to say 1000 words a second. pickadors plume is a story in a story. a story about gaining a treasure through a complex and detailed series of events  with lots of loaded lore about the world with no clear description of what the treasure truly is. liam is the first few generations. the generation close enough to the original to try and remember, but not enough to keep every detail. the best example is of the ending, where the treasure should be. humans love rewards, so a story with a vague reward isnt enough for people. in liams generation transition to the griffon, travel, and fruit specifically being the treasure begins to lay its foundations. since this is already so long i will also mention that the transition from stone shaped like a heart ---to----> stone shaped like a hut could be an example of a changing dialect and language. sam, travis, and marisha are clear evidence of a shift in culture. jesters complete backstory wasnt introduced till now. and in it comes the cultures want to explain this event. humans love simplifying, but we also love to describe things. if we want to, we will add words just as much as we remove them. the dialect changes just as much. the new word of “schtupping." has either replaced or become a synonym of the word fucking, the name of the plum as even changed too. the treasure has gone from “lost to time” to “there is treasure, i just wont name it”. but fret not, for the mystery aspect is still in the story. for now everything will disappear like it never happened, or did it? though travis specifically specifies that you keep the treasure. humans love rewards, it was gonna come back eventually. matt is the sorta an enlightening moment in the society. at the very least its the point in time where people who know geography and history say “wait, that layout doesnt make any sense”. taelisan and ashley are the beginning of the end. the slow fall into the dark ages. the story becomes vague and small. slowly becoming more of a statement and less of a story. the society is forgetting large chunks and its bleeding out into other legends. there maybe a sort of thanksgiving/ christmas sort of event spawned from or because of the myth, but the story itself isnt going to live every far (hence why its ending in a dark age and not somewhen else)

Ep. 3: boy do humans enjoy rich’s, love, and drama. sam’s story comes from a society that warns against wanting what you wish for without expecting some strings attached and features a evil ruler to boot, just so they can date the legend. the story of a delivery boy who invents a pair of glasses to see through objects and uses them to win rewards and gives them all to a rich woman that only loves him for the money, and really loves the prince. matt changes the story so the two are already in love. but also changed it so that it was the greed of the prince and the wife that lead to the heartbreak rather than the delivery boys naivety. travis changes delivery boy from a clever inventor to just already owning the glasses. both matt and travis with there respective fictional cultures are showing how humans like to remember the stuff they liked in a story, so when they forget when something specifically came in, they just fill in the blank and assume its always been there. travis specificaly begins the stories slow march to a less heartbreaking story by adding a joke to help give the couple a more flushed out relationship. this is also the shift in cultural perspective. the antagonist began his life as a evil prince, but now is simply a rotten neighbor. this could mean the myth was co-opted to fit a better role, possibly after the removal of monarchy or just of a specific bloodline.the rich wife becomes just the wife, no money involved. this is also the beginning of what a full fledged re-write of the story. now the delivery man has gone from giving up to still being in love with the wife and now even standing up for himself. (possibly a mix of when the story was of a prince and used to promote the common folk to rise up against the kings, leading to the theory of a removal of the crown). ashely...oh ashely. this moment in history atleast solidifies the love between them, and even brings back delivery husbands inventor skills. liam is the slow clawing climb back up out of the collapse. he’s still very much in the collapse of the kingdom. but aleast its just before when begin to solidify into the new meta of the era. laura and taelisin’s era is a complete re-write after the collapse of the society. the focus has moved to more of a folk-hero style legend about rising above through theft and cheating (could mean that after the collapse the culture around theft changed from crime to fighting to survive. the antagonist has really changed from being the bad guy to just in the love triangle. the society seems to agree with every polyamourous person when we all say “this how drama triangle could have been avoided if you guys all just got together”. marisha’s only real change a more modernization from “specticals” to “goggles” and that the culture either wants to make half-orcs feel more inclusive or just really dont like goliaths and changed it. 

ep. 4: deargodfinallyigottheneedtowritethisoutofmysystemsoletsspeedrunthisshit. liams story is an analogy for the horrors, pointlessness, and sacrifics of war. but over time the story shifts from a “we did this to ourselves” narrative to a “an outside force did this to use”. this shifts the goal from a need for peace to a need to protect everyone for the sake of the many. ill write more later but dear god i my hand might fall off soon

[gaybaiter]

reef for the oc meme bro.....

AAHH you chose well hes my favorite oc i love talking about him

full name: reef garlen verdun

gender and sexuality: gay and boy adjacent. ive never put thought into his gender identity hes just. reef.

pronouns: he/him

ethnicity/species: so the world his story takes place in doesnt have like. the continents that we have its a legit different planet thing but his whole family is like. french-inspired. in the context of the story though he is also fae-born! basically means elves but its more like. genetic predisposition to channeling magic. descended from fae. hence fae-born. hes only half though his father was human

birthplace and birthdate: birthplace makes absolutely no sense without the context of the map but. he was born in south stalor in no particular town, close to the northern border. as for his birthday im going to say a tentative january 15. subject to change because i have a really specific way of choosing birthdays that i somehow have not done for him yet

guilty pleasures: he is a GLUTTON for sure he doesnt like to admit it but he adores all kinds of sweets.

phobias: illness because of some stuff that happened when he was a kid.

what they would be famous for: dating finn! if he hadnt fucked off to live by a lake and shunned his princely duties it wouldve shoved reef into the spotlight as the princes new beau

what they would get arrested for: he is a thief and has been arrested several times already. like a lot.

oc you ship them with: finn for sure. they do end up dating but their dynamic is very good before that also.

oc most likely to murder them: oh jeez. depends on accident or on purpose. on purpose would be viviane (finns mother and the queen of north stalor) because she does NOT approve of her son falling for some common theif. accidentally would probably be either himself, finn, or marlowe. they all do really dumb shit together and finn and marlowe have almost accidentally killed him once already

favorite movie/book genre: removing him from the fantasy world for this but. he would almost 100% be a huge nonfiction/documentary nerd. he likes to consume as much knowledge as possible

least favorite movie/book cliche: he has never been one for romantic cliches, even though his relationship is basically like 4 thrown together.

talents and/or powers: ok falling back into fantasy here! he is a theif and hes mostly really good at it, and elaine (basically his mom theyre very close) teaches him magic and he focuses on conjuration/illusion

why someone might love them: oh god i love him so much but i cannot verbalize why. idk hes very close to my heart but i cannot think of why other people would like him

why someone might hate them: he is. a very rude person. hes mean. also hes really stubborn and oblivious a lot of the time and it can be frustrating.

how they change: OH HE CHANGES SO MUCH at the beginning of the story he is withdrawn and solitary and he snaps at people who try to help him. he is reluctant in accepting help even when he is physically at his limit but by the end he. works through his issues and deals with a lot of his trauma and lets the people who love him do exactly that its. good.

why you love them: stupid gayboy emotionally unavailable elf like. hes my peak character.

[markipwiwer]

how can I keep supporting Mark and Jack?

So I really usually try to keep politics out of this blog. But it’s getting more and more difficult to brush off the problems that I’ve been seeing, especially with Jacks livestream recently.

Subscribe to Pewdiepie. It’s a meme at this point, and that’s fair.

I was really glad when Jack was, at the very least, saying that he didn’t condone racism, hate speech, anti-Semitic jokes coming from Felix. That was great. It felt great when no one was willing to say much at all, especially not Felix’s friends. Mark didn’t even really say much.

Marks done a subscribe to Pewdiepie livestream and now so has Jack. And they can support him if they want to, that’s their choice. But Jack seems to have also taken down his video condemning Felix’s actions. Felix has done more since then as well, without much word from his friends. It’s all about the MEDIA LYING and US VERSUS THEM. And I’ll get to why those particular phrases suck especially in a minute.

For ages, I kind of wanted to believe, as a fan, that Felix was just sort of dumb. That he was ignorant, even deliberately so, about why edgy racist memes and edgy nazi memes were a bad idea. About why he might have fans that are genuinely sympathetic to neonazis, white nationalists, white supremacists, identitarians, ect. And even if he is STILL ignorant to his words and actions and how they have meaning, regardless of how out of context some of it is taken (because repeating that shit for a meme doesn’t make it funny), it’s unforgivable at this point. The fact that he’s aware of how many nazis love his shit and he isn’t educating himself on this shit and trying to better himself as a person... well, this is also where his friends and the stuff they repeat comes in.

I don’t know how much research either Mark or Jack have done about Anti-Semitism or dog whistling or anything like that, but as a Jewish person, I’m here to clarify a couple of things.

When modern Nazis talk about “The Media” and “Them” and (((anything in triple brackets like this))), theyre talking about Jews. This also applies to Globalists, Elites, that usually means Jews too. So, when Felix makes a joke about The Media, it ends up being (or at the very least, sounding eerily similar to) a dog whistle to Nazis. If he DOESNT know this, he’s still spreading it. He’s using edgy Nazi memes and going “whoa why does everyone think I’m a Nazi?? Must be The Media”.

And the Jack and Mark are repeating it, because it’s a meme. Everyone is repeating it, because it’s a meme. And you might not think that (((The Media))) is a harmful meme to spread but there are too many disgruntled, young, white men in ALL of their audiences who will end up seeing this stuff, then laughing at “SJWs who’ll get offended by anything!!!” And hurting even more minorities while simultaneously spreading small Nazi ideals that get would-be racists a little bit more comfortable with the idea of, say, making fun of Indian people.

Jack took down his video condemning Felix. Why? Did he want to stop being caked a backstabber? Fair enough. I didn’t realise he deleted it until I went looking for it and could only find mirrored uploads. Jack took down his one big statement saying that he didn’t stand for hate speech, racism, anti-Semitic speech, all of that. But PMA is in our DNA, right?

Jack and Felix in particular stand out here because, and I hate to be the person to point this out but, they’re white. Jack can say Positive Mental Attitude in the face of this all he wants, but it doesn’t erase the fact that he’s supporting someone who AT THE VERY LEAST doesn’t seem to take racism seriously enough to do the 10 minutes of research it would take to figure out why Nazis fucking love him. He’s probably never had to think about racism before. It hasn’t affected his life in any real way. Because he’s white. In that sense, Mark giving him a pass feels even worse because Mark is half Korean. One would assume he takes racism kind of seriously and would understand why Felix Saying The Nazi Stuff But Totally Ironically isn’t actually okay.

How am I supposed to keep supporting them knowing that they very likely are aware of their friends beliefs, and if not are PAINFULLY ignorant to the issues? How am I supposed to keep writing about these characters in any good faith??

It’s difficult to have a Positive Mental Attitude when Jacks friend made a joke about killing your entire race that one time and Jack simply doesn’t even seem to mind anymore.

[someguy1023]

Nobody’s gonna care about this, but maybe someone will

i think it’ll help convey why im so stuck on this, and why i seem to be focusing more on Holly and, according to messages i kept getting, “white knighting” for her. I’m not gonna justify Holly’s behavior. thats not what this is about. I just want this off my chest.

(im gonna regret this)

also, just to preemptively defend myself, i know how cheesy all this is gonna sound. But its the truth.

so. i guess i should preface this by explaining when I first heard about Holly. Maybe it’ll help this make sense in context. Maybe not. I don’t know but it doesnt hurt to try.

I didn’t actually learn about Holly through the internet like i assume most others did. I actually first found her through TV. More specifically, through that Heroes of Cosplay show SciFi has produced a few years back. I enjoyed it, but found myself mainly enjoying the work Holly and Jessica did while on the show. They were my favorite team, and I always tried to watch whenever they were in an episode. After a while though, I, like a lot of others apparently, got bored and moved on, and eventually forgot about Holly.

It was a few years later that I would find her again. This time, like many others, through Grumps. More specifically, through Ross and Steam Train. I was surprised when it turns out that one of my favorite members of GG was also married to one of my favorite people on HoC. Small world. I stayed a more casual fan, watching the occasional playthrough or crafting episode on her channel. I was more of a fan of GG and Ross, so I tended to watch more of his stuff than hers, but I still made sure to keep watching her stuff. It wasn’t anything major, she just made me smile.

A few years later, it meant something more to me.

In 2016, my father died. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a big deal for something like this. It was everything leading up to his death that was the problem. I always had a very “problematic” relationship with my father. He was abusive towards me when I was younger, lashing out at me for really minor problems. (for example, one time he had lifted me up in the air by my throat and began strangling me when I was ~6. Why? Because I had used some money our neighbor gave me for cleaning up his lawn to buy a popsicle from an ice cream truck, ate half of it, then put the other half in the fridge. He found it, got mad at me, and then began to yell at me. I had a nervous tic when I was younger where I giggled uncontrollably when I was scared. Sure enough, I began to giggle and could stop it, and then he, enraged, lifted me up. I realize years later he was probably drunk, considering he smelled really weird. It isnt a good memory.) He eventually left my mom and I when I was almost 7, moving down to Alabama with this lady he met in a bar, and proceeded to do pretty much every major drug imaginable. I didn’t see/hear from him again until a few years later at his mother’s funeral. He seemed remorseful for what he did to me, and a year or two later, moved in with his cousin back in the state I was living in at the time. I began visiting him when I was 13, and he seemed to be better. He apologized to me for what he did, he tried to be a good dad, and I believed him. That was my first mistake.

Flash forward to January 3rd, 2016. I was visiting him for the weekend after staying at my cousin’s, and was sorting through my things to make sure i didnt forget anything. We had visited one of his friends to get something he borrowed (according to him) then got back to his house. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and I thought he fell asleep. I noticed he had a cigarette in his mouth he was going to light before he passed out, so I went over to put it aside. I figured out he wasn’t sleeping. It turns out, he was overdosing, and what I thought was snoring was his throat closed shut and the air escaping his lungs. He was dying. I told his wife (at the time) what what happening, she called 911, and I went upstairs to hide in my bedroom. A lil while later, the ambulance came by, and the paramedics gave him whatever that stuff is they give addicts who OD. (At the time, I didnt know what was going on. He had really bad lungs, and I thought they were shutting down or something. I was told it was from him overdosing later that night.) He woke up, and they drove him to the hospital to make sure he was okay. I went back to my moms house, and stayed there. That was the last time I saw him alive

As it turns out, my dad had been using me for over 2 or 3 years. He was not only stealing money from me under the pretense of helping him with driving for over an hour to pick up/drop me off from my moms place to visit, but had also been heavily manipulating me for years in order to control me. He had tried to turn me against my mother and her side of the family, claiming she had used me to verbally abuse and control him when they were married, telling me lies in order to keep me under his thumb. (like how she threatened to abort me if he didnt marry her after knocking her up, or how she had him steal from his sister during her wedding, etc.) I began to despise my mother, arguing with her constantly, and, on his insistence, never told her anything about what he was doing or what he told me. It wasnt until after that day that I learned it was all lies.

I was devastated. I felt hurt, used, and betrayed. (I realize now...its because I actually was.) I was a wreck. It didnt help that 4 months later...he died. Needless to say, it was a very, very tough grieving period. I locked myself away in my room, unable to summon the energy to even get up in the morning. I had suffered from mild depression prior to this, but it was much worse. I couldn’t find a way to get through this, suffering for months, and eventually, began to think about suicide.

Thats where Holly came back in.

Besided the playthroughs helping cheer me up a lil whenever I put them on, it was her advice that really began my path to healing. Her kind words and support to others began to help me sort through the baggage I had been dealing with about my dad. I began to follow her advice on how to deal with my depression, and began to slowly ull myself back from the edge, and, over time, began to pull myself back up. Eventually, with her help, I began to attend regular therapy sessions, and managed to fully come to terms with what my father had done to me, as well as properly manage both my depression and anxiety problems. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for Holly. She helped keep me going when I really needed it. She, for lack of a better expression, helped save my life. I’ll always be grateful to her for that...despite all of this. Ever since then, whenever I felt my depression weighing me down, or felt my anxiety creep back up on me, I could rely on her to help keep me grounded.

When all this happened, I couldnt help but notice I felt the same way as I did all those years ago. Despite the fact that its just some random lady on the internet, and shouldnt have mattered as much as it did...it still hurt on a personal level. The worst part of this whole thing? I can’t go back to the thing that helped me out whenever I felt this way. Not without being reminded everywhere I go of how everyone thinks of her.

So...maybe thats why I’m doing all this. Not just to stop people from spreading hate and rumors based on speculation...but because part of me cant/doesnt want to believe one of the people I relied on and put trust in could be the bad guy. Because part of me just refuses to let go or lose someone who meant so much to me. Because part of me wants to believe that things will get better...even if I know they wont.

If you read through this, thank you. Maybe someone out there feels the same way I do. Maybe, if they dont, someone can understand. Its been a rough month for me. I just hope things will look up somehow. I dont know if I’m gonna come back to this. Im realizing it probably isnt healthy. The only thing I have left to say, then, if I dont come back; please, try to spread good. I know this is the internet, and even worse, tumblr...but i think people need some light nowadays. and constantly spreading hate and cruelty...that wont help anyone. I know nothing i say matters, that nothing i’ve done has changed any minds. but even if you cant trust Holly anymore, or dont believe anything she says...at least believe in one of her beliefs. That kindness is the greatest thing to spread to others, and the world can sure use a lot more of it.

Good night.

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hello u, i was wondering about s/t destiel meta there is a lot of significance placed on the show making distinctions between sam and dean reacting to Cas like very obvious this season, but this doesnt happen vice versa does it? As in Cas usually isnt shown to react differently to Sam and Dean if something happens to both of then like when they were taken in s12 or when he was in the empty "dam and dean need me". Why do they show dean worry more about Cas than Sam but Cas doesnt about samndeN

Hi!

It’s definitely not about making a statement that Cas doesn’t love Dean any more than he loves Sam. 

I think there’s very different standards that apply. Basically that there’s ALWAYS inescapably the entire substance of these two relationships which always apply and very often are called out by the narrative in these moments anyway. That their relationships are incomparable even when they’re compared and lumped together. That Cas and Dean forged their relationship through actions which are wholly different from how he forged his friendship with Sam. We saw him barely interact with Sam for the *longest* time. 

I honestly can’t recall him getting alone time with Sam between Sam laying into him in 4x16 and Cas being drunk and surly at Sam in 5x17 (though, tbh, I consider that an excellent forward momentum episode for both Cas and Dean AND Cas and Sam’s relationships that we got basically nothing of that quality for for miles around). Between 5x17 and 5x18 Cas and Sam work together to find Dean, but it’s off-screen, however it IS the first and for a long time only time they seriously work together, alone on sometime. 

Through season 5 it’s implied Cas is working with them both off-screen with no specifics given but enough that his loyalties are obvious and he calls Sam a friend in 5x13, not to his face. He continues to majority interact with Dean only or Sam n Dean, and I think 5x21 is his only mission on screen without Dean but with Sam and Bobby, until much much later (I mean, am I wrong or is 10x17 the only other episode with this specific dynamic right down to Dean hanging with Crowley on the other side of the story?). 

9x11 is the first time Cas and Sam SERIOUSLY hang out and discuss their relationship and work out where they stand on everything, emotionally bond over their connected story arcs they’ve been running alongside each other the whole time since season 6, and finally get in the bonding time and hug we deserve. I’m pretty sure it’s the only time they’re seriously alone since season 5… With a passing moment in 8x10, perhaps, and their conversation in 7x21 which seemed important to me but the camera chooses to focus on Meg sneaking out and the sound fades out so you have to strain to catch some of their words - the fact they talk is literally a background detail. 

I remember 9x22 airing and being in fandom at last, and how much of a DELIGHT we all took it that Cas and Sam worked together, and in season 10, building on that, it was the first season they routinely had scenes together without Dean, and their own subplot based on actual interaction, and multiple episodes they were alone in a situation together. TFW having all branches connected back to each other for regular interaction and well-established non-fraught and genuinely connected relationships, literally dates to the Mark of Cain, and honestly *since* it, Cas has gone back pretty much to a default Dean-connected character, though his relationship with Sam is clearly better and more routinely shown to exist beyond the fact they keep fighting side by side. 

(And honestly I got some flak for saying once a long time ago during season 10 that Cas and Sam weren’t properly shown to be friends until 9x11 but fuck it, we’ve had seasons of them actually seeming to be friends with their own proper connections since and it’s nothing like it was before 9x11 and now I have all of seasons 9-13 to compare to what came before I’m doubling down on that hard, and insisting that Cas saying Sam was his friend in 5x13 was a very symbolic but not particularly real gesture. Like, you’d die for him but do you even know his middle name? Carver era established Sam and Cas as real friends, not just guys who occasionally fight alongside each other and care about Dean a lot as their ONE common purpose aside from saving the world from whatever, and given the wealth of better interaction between them and how different it feels, I’m sticking by that. They NEEDED an arc that shoved them together to work on things WITHOUT Dean to build up any REALISTIC sense they were friends and give us the actual meat of a relationship to base a dynamic on.)

Edlund points out the difference between Dean n Cas and Sam and Cas a couple of times in season 6 in very bad lines which feel horrible but tell a truth nonetheless, and one that persists in better times - the “more profound bond” line and the awful awful use of “raised you from perdition” on Sam. One directly tells us that Cas considers that he and Dean have spent more quality time and have more in common, and the other is deliberately taking a MEANINGFUL and high intensity line between Dean and Cas, and applying it to Sam and Cas in a way that could ONLY fall flat and suggest more horror and awfulness than good, and lacked all of the interpersonal importance that Dean took from meeting Cas. 

In season 7 when Cas saves Sam it’s easy to connect to Cas’s pleas to Dean in 6x20, 6x21 and 6x22 that it’s ABOUT Dean and finally 7x01 where he promises DEAN personally that he will redeem himself to him, followed by choosing to save Sam in 7x17 with a strong thematic implication that he’s doing it for Dean and Sam’s just the object of doing it, and only in 7x21 (muffled and unimportant) and 9x11 does Cas actually relate his experiences TO Sam and begin to feel direct empathy to him and relate to him. 

You know, meanwhile *gestures back at 4x01 and then fast forwards through all the DeanCas stuff that happens in between there and now* More profound bond blah blah blah.

I mean at no point do I doubt that Cas doesn’t CARE for Sam, even in a very abstract way to begin with. But it’s an uneven playing field even if by the second half of season 9 I think they’re comfortably friends and consider each other family in a very meaningful way beyond the kind of brother-in-law family obligation they had via Dean. It’s just still a Thing that Cas and Dean are different in a fundamentally powerful way that Cas can’t compare to for Sam, and when it WAS compared in the “raised you from perdition” line, it’s in a way that deliberately feels AWFUL in context. Especially as saving Sam *meaningfully* was engineered by Dean and done by Death in 6x11, which Cas played no part in whatsoever and actively argued against doing, out of concern for Sam, but by 6x20 with Sam at least upright and restored for the time being, certainly looks even worse on paper, BEFORE we get to Sam’s fear that Cas brought him back soulless on purpose.

Meanwhile, Cas has always reacted to protect Sam and Dean equally when the two of them are in trouble, whether it’s for Dean’s sake or for both their sakes, things tend to happen to them *together* and so it would be pretty horrible to show Cas not caring about Sam when both he and Dean need saving. In some ways this is avoided by the story by just always setting Cas up in a way where it’s either an easy “SamnDean” statement, or having him *with* Dean in Purgatory. When something horrible happens to Sam, in 9x01 Cas is separated and unable to help; 9x09 has Cas realise something is terrible wrong with Sam beyond what Dean knows, and react by stealing grace and it’s set up so he has to call Dean, has to go to Dean in 9x10, and it’s awesome. I already covered that he saves Sam in 7x17 ostensibly for Dean and only later considers Sam on a personal level. 

I think the big examples are the season 12 set ups on Cas’s side to protect “the Winchesters” (all of them including and especially Mary in 12x09) and the “I love you - I love all of you” in 12x12 which definitely involves Dean first, then the rest, as a form of clarification, with 12x10′s message in between which is specifically about who Cas loves, and that specific message is in 13x04 as well, while the main message is a “sam and dean need me”, that’s specifically called out as the Bad Reason To Go Back, and I think put to bed at that point. Cas has to choose to go back for his own reasons, for what he loves and hates and all the things he has in his life he values on their own individual purposes, and what he stands to gain or lose, which is a hugely different message, and links back to 12x12 that this is where what he “loves” was made clear…. or not made clear. But “for SamnDean” was trounced utterly. That he can’t act on stock phrases about how much he cares for an abstract blob of Winchester and ties to that which is only an obligation which has been killing him for years. He has to WANT it and be accepted and understand it’s not just for what he can do for them, but that they accept him as family and he doesn’t have to feel that obligation to help them in order to deserve it. (And I think 13x06 was really important that Cas WASN’T required or necessary except that Dean wanted him there. That only his obligation to Jack affected anything.)

And the Mark of Cain arc which to me as a fandom newbie for season 10 as my first full season with everyone, and the end of season 9 just in time for all the big Destiel build up at the end, seems to tell it on Cas’s side that Dean is utterly different to Sam. There’s no fair comparison to Sam being in massive trouble and Cas reacting this way, but it’s hard to imagine he would, if Dean was still there to panic harder. 12x01 gave us that set up and Dean LET Cas worry “more” but he was still the one who snapped a guy’s phone in half in a panicked rage. Sam was once left with Cas and Dean in Purgatory and it was to emphasise his total loss. Dean’s never had to save Cas and Sam together and be put in that position. But season 9 and 10 put Cas and Sam together against Dean’s dark arc, and THAT was fascinating.

Breaking the format to make Sam and Cas work together about Dean gives us Sam and Cas talking constantly about Dean together, expressing their concerns and reacting in their own ways. It’s implicit in the first part of the arc and then clearly laid out in the last act with Cain’s list making the Colette comparison undeniably canon, but Cas and Sam are deliberately put in different places to Dean’s struggle, and react in their own ways - Sam right up in the sharp end of it dealing with being the potential Abel to Dean’s Cain (which, yikes, I can’t believe he SLEPT for a season and a half with Dean in the same Bunker as him :P) and Cas as the wife that a disproportionate amount of time was spent on in 9x11 to tell us Cain’s story.

Obviously, Sam and Cas are both invested in saving Dean, and frequently work together to do so, or work to a common purpose, e.g. Cas splitting off to deal with Metatron or find Cain in 9x23/the middle part of season 10, is easily decided common purpose and not weird or particularly telling in their character dynamic, but then when the pay off comes, obviously puts them in radically different places in their own narrative (the conclusion of Metatron’s “in love… with humanity” thing, or Cain sorting Sam, Cas and Crowley into his life story).

To me there are a few places which show up either Sam or Cas’s different level of investment in Dean which were really, really fascinating. 

In 9x18 and 9x22, Cas seems to know waaay better than Sam the danger of the Mark but Sam is in semi denial, and it takes a looong time - maybe even seeing Dean shout at him in the end of 9x22 - to really understand, while Cas is on high alert from the moment he finds out Dean has the Mark and asking Sam about it or to keep an eye on Dean. You can explain Cas knowing more about the Mark by being an angel, but Sam’s reaction of denial is part of his current relationship troubles with Dean, so Cas is being played off as being far more personally concerned (this coupled with Dean asking after Cas on the phone was a real shipper novelty in 9x22 - and the conversations at the end of that episode of course). It’s presumably a contrast to make us worried about Sam’s denial and how he’s been missing the cues all season, with the danger of Abaddon as well, as they’re the core relationship, but showing Dean irrationally furious with Sam but chill with Cas at the end of the episode is a strange note when you swing the camera around from focusing on the brothers and the tension of a brother-killing curse, and look at how Dean n Cas reflect in it.

In 10x01 we get a shot I am never going to be over forever:

Sam and Cas are separated, and taking their arcs about saving Dean personally and through their own hurdles (Sam’s hurdle, unfortunately, kinda sucks and is borderline unwatchable these days for external reasons >.>) Cas gets this amazing arc with Hannah confronting everything about humanity and being an angel, and love and feelings and being tied to Earth… And it’s all focused down in Cas having an extremely romantic pining reaction to Dean going missing, this damsel in distress lying in bed with one knee poking out shot, conveniently fragile in this moment… (And they didn’t have to make him ill like this - they could have made him driven but burning up visibly a la Lucifer in season 5.)

This is contrasted to Sam’s montage of frantic action the season opens on, but for Cas it narrows down to “I miss him” and he’s allowed the emotion in that moment. His story is told separately and focuses on what he stands to lose and gain by choosing Dean, at a point in his story where that choice is not just there for him to make again, but defining his entire place in the universe after that choice. He chooses Dean, repeatedly, at the repeated loss of Hannah, who also represents Heaven, while Dean represents Earth and Humanity, and what all THAT means for Cas.

I love that Sam and Cas have separate storylines - I love the entire open of season 10 BECAUSE TFW are separate and each thing they do represents their own place in their journey. And the overlap between Cas and Dean’s stuff is pretty hilariously obvious, thematically and with “subtle” clues like them both getting told off by their respective romantic false leads for flashing them :P The narratives for all of them are different, but Cas and Dean’s are folded together to show the connection. Sam’s story is radically different, and lacks this entirely, whether it’s connections to Dean (he’s lost his) or mirrors to Cas’s search - they’re on entirely different paths.

The rest of season 10 builds up the Colette narrative, and I think we’ve written enough on 10x22 and 10x23 but suffice to say it had the “she asked me to stop” moment, and Cas making several sweeping declarations of eternal love that Dean was in no place to accept, while Sam went to confront an entirely different part of the story working on an entirely different personal level. And there ends a season and a half of comparing Cas and Sam’s reactions to Dean in emotional distress.

And there’s all the other obvious stuff, all the choices Cas is made to make for Dean against Heaven, or things where they just SAY Dean is his human weakness and single him out from Sam, or tbh should we really be over Cas saying “Dean” when ALL the Winchesters walked into the house in 12x23, or how Sam disappeared from the montage all about Cas and Dean in 13x05, while Dean and Cas got their well-earned stares at each other. That was a two way street - Dean obviously led the way in, but Cas was staring back at him without looking over at Sam all through that, and it was Dean he chose to call…

I don’t really know how to separate all this context of Cas’s story with Dean from Cas speaking in general about the Winchesters - of course he cares when Sam is in trouble, and if it’s a scenario involving both of them, he WILL mostly react to care about both of them. But in other situations when it’s not generic action but focused emotional moments, he gets a disproportionate amount of them about Dean, and still defaults to thinking about Dean first, because of course they have the much more developed and fascinating relationship. 

There’s also the fact that in MANY cases “the Winchesters” is code for “Dean”, particularly when angels are talking to Cas about them. 11x02 is a good example specifically because Dean calls and them snarking about it makes it clear the angels have Thoughts about Dean and Cas, shortly before they begin torturing him for information about the Winchesters in general. There’s no plot reason they’d specify Dean, in the way 9x22/9x23 is still about Cas trying to save Dean from the Mark and Dean’s death is plot relevant to all that, but this time Dean’s brought into it as an additional feature via the phonecall, and then Cas gets suggestively tortured >.> 

In 12x10 it’s the same deal - Cas and Ishim talk about humanity affecting them, but at the end of the day the story separates Dean out as the human weakness maybe just because he’s the one who showed up, but also there’s a WEALTH of their history implicit in the fight and its staging, and it means more to them personally, building on that arc, than it could ever if it had been about Sam and Cas. This is the season of it being persistently shown that Dean and Cas react far stronger about each other than Sam getting involved in their crap, in 12x10, 12x12, 12x19, 12x20 and 12x23, and a season which involved saving Sam in the first 2 episodes, and Sam and Dean in the middle, Cas in the late-middle, Dean in 12x11 for Sam and Rowena to deal with, and Mary at the end, we have a LOT of contrasts to how they all react to each other, and Dean and Cas already took the cake *before* Cas died and sent us into the 6 episode Destiel nonsense season 13 started on dealing with Dean’s grief. I don’t think 13x01-5 is any more important than 10x01-3 for Sam and Cas dealing with Dean, or 12x01-2 for Cas, Dean and Mary to deal with losing Sam. They all show us various things about the characters, and not things that disappear in other contexts. 

I mean, I am pretty sure I can find posts explaining why it’s still Destiel for almost *any* moment Cas is challenged over or defends “the Winchesters” as a group unit. Because Cas feels that relationship most keenly of them all, even if they have become his very strange little family and he loves all of them.

[kafkasgods]

faaya

“We'll buy back our own harm with what is most dear to us.” ― Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis

tw mentions of puke, suicide

Space. Faaya was buying herself space. That’s all it was suppose to be. Just time to sort out her feelings and reevaluate her priorities. Bentley’s confession had made her afraid. Being frozen under the drakon’s gaze had made her afraid. Dayn’s hospitalization made her afraid. Fear was power and Faaya was spiraling, powerless.

The text messages with Luke wasn’t suppose to go that route initially. She had already bought their gifts and she didn’t want the obligations of giving them to weigh on her while she figured things out. She’d give Luke his gift, let Luke give her gift for Bentley as his, and she could step away from the holidays easily. Then somewhere along the way, Faaya thought Luke was going to feel the way she pulled back eventually and she didn’t want to have another talk about it, so she’d let him down on her own terms. While he took it as well as she could expect, the guilt still lingered. Thumb on her screen, Faaya scrolled through the texts again as she sipped her hibiscus tea. Then, she swiped back to mull over Bentley’s texts.

“Faaya?” Glancing up from her phone, Adam got her attention from his seat at the bar. “Not working?”

He was Dayn’s friend, though Adam was a quiet person. She didn’t know him that well, but she had nothing against him either. “Not really. I had to come in to fix something. I’m just getting a drink since I’m here. You don’t visit these parts often.”

Adam lifted his shoulders and spoke only after a moment, changing the subject. “I heard you were with Rune. During the snow in,” he clarified. [6:01 PM] It took a moment for Faaya to remember. Right. Son of Ares. “Yeah, he saved my life and was blessed by your dad.”

“He saved you?” The slight surprise on Adam’s face didn’t really make sense for what Faaya knew of Rune, but she guessed she didn’t know him that well either. She was biased too, anyway. “What happened?”

“You can ask him if you’re so curious.”

“Probably not,” Adam answered, oddly honest. “He did okay though? He was alright?”

“As far as I can tell.” Ice clinked against her glass as she stirred it.

“Alright, thanks.”

A simple guy, Adam paid and left, leaving her with half a glass of her drink left—A light shone from the ground—And his phone, apparently. Faaya was not a nosy person, she didn’t think, but seeing Dayn’s name across the screen along with hers in the message made her curious. He was typing something, but she scrolled up to get some context. [6:03 PM] Dayn Thompson: yea faaya came by once

Dayn Thompson: she was my emergency contact

Dayn Thompson: im changing that to you btw

Adam Hudson: so my phone’s never gonna stop ringing huh

Adam Hudon: how’d that go

Dayn Thompson:

Dayn Thompson: it was weird though

Dayn Thompson: i told her about siding with athena and that was fine but then she started crying and idk it made me super uncomfortable

Dayn Thompson: like were not dating and even if we were we just never did that stuff really

Dayn Thompson: i wouldnt want to start now

Adam Hudson: you guys dated for awhile. wouldn’t that come up

Dayn Thompson: yea but she kept that shit to herself and that was better

Adam Hudson: you sound like a dick

Dayn Thompson: hey if actually loved her then maybe i might feel different but not the case man

Dayn Thompson: yea id definitely handle it better if i like really really cared about them

Dayn Thompson: and faayas just not soft like normal girls it just doesnt look good on her

Adam Hudson: if you didn’t like her why do you keep getting back together

Dayn Thompson: because she lets me ig

Dayn Thompson: its just super easy to get back with faaya if i feel like it [6:03 PM] At some point reading the messages, her heart had dropped. Every fear she’d ever had about Dayn was true and Faaya felt sick. Deep down, she’d always known she was just some play thing for him to pass the time with. There was too much going on around her now. The music, the laughing, the dancing, the lights. She had to get out, it all felt too small. After dropping Adam’s phone off in the lost and found, she drove back home, feeling a numbing in her arms and legs.

Stumbling out of her car, she wanted to hurry up to her apartment so she could  throw up the rock in her stomach . The drive had only made her feel sicker. But of course, it wasn’t over. Because there was Bentley standing by her building with his jaw locked and an unfamiliar anger set in his brow bone. It didn’t get better when he saw her approaching.

“Bentley, I told you I didn’t want to talk.” The strength in her voice wasn’t there. Maybe he’d try again later.

“You weren’t going to reply again.” It was true. “Check your phone, Faaya.”

There was no room to argue, so she did so gritting her teeth. A message from Luke with his Christmas gift to her. Why did everything have to be so hard and hurt so much? It was like there was bright and happy future that was out of reach, but beckoning her towards it. The problem was, it just wasn’t possible—Bentley was fragile. Luke was sensitive. And Faaya was afraid. Always afraid. She just didn’t realize how much until now. [6:04 PM] “What do you want me to do? Say sorry and go on the trip with you guys?” Faaya asked exasperated.

“I want to know why you thought it was a good idea to get Luke involved in this. Your problem is with me.”

“Luke’s in the middle of our problems whether we like it or not. I told you I needed space from you. I don’t know how long that is. Luke was bound to read the room eventually and I’d rather have it now than later.”

“Well that’s nice of you, Faaya. It’s super mature and thoughtful.” The sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed. “You know, you’re a real arsehole. I’ve bitten my tongue about it for years because yeah, sometimes the pros outweighed the cons and I used to think, you know what, ‘yeah Phobos made her like this.’ But we’ve reached the point where it’s all just you and it’s inexcusable.”

The onslaught from Bentley was harsh and only filled with truths. It left Faaya speechless.

He continued. “I can’t believe I told you I wanted to kill myself and instead of giving a shit about me, you’re just worried about how it makes you feel. You’re scared about living in a world without me? About caring too much? About you not being enough for me? Well it’s all true and it’s all your own fault.” Bentley was breathing hard, getting it all off his chest. A fist was clenched at his side and his scolding glower was burning holes into her. “You’re a bad friend, Faaya. You’re a worse person. I wish we’d never met. You’re not someone meant to have friends. You don’t have the heart for it.” [6:04 PM] “No, I don’t, Bentley.” Faaya’s eyes narrowed on him as she crossed her arms. As true as it was, attacks were the only thing she knew how to handle. Efficiently and devastatingly. “So don’t bother me again and I won’t bother you.”

Brushing past him, Faaya didn’t feel so sick anymore. She didn’t feel anything, and she wouldn’t. Bentley was right. Certain and solid, Faaya just wasn’t meant to care about anyone else, but herself. It was what she defaulted on anytime the choice had to be made. Siding with Ares had been for her own control. Stealing her biological mother’s abilities had been her own rage. Everything Faaya did was with herself in mind. Being vulnerable had only lead to suffering to her and those around her. There was no reason to fight it now that was clear. [6:04 PM] [ SCENE CHANGE ]

“My kid’s not that much of a bad influence.”

“Bad or not, he was still too much of an influence.” Phobos rolled his shoulder. It’d been a very productive afternoon. “Faaya doesn’t really do well being held back by shit like that.”

Deimos raised a brow. “She can’t be a ‘real natural’ if you have to get involved with her life so much.”

Phobos scoffed, shaking his head. “That’s what parents do, don’t they? Make sure their kids doing the best they can? Faaya wasn’t gonna get anywhere if I left her to her own devices. Besides, I let her have her fun. She’s gotta grow up now. Childhood friends have gotta go. Fuck sentimentality. And I’m bored of the Dayn phase. He’s with Athena now anyway. We just don’t need any of the useless shit.”

Kids always liked making their own mistakes and Phobos let Faaya make those for awhile, but she was better than that and she needed a little push. She’d already been fearing everything he’d showed her, he was just hammering the nail on the head.

“And have you considered the stars of your horror show making a real appearance and countering the events of all your hard work, Phobos?” Deimos asked feigning disinterest, but the slight curl to his lip said otherwise.

“Maybe if you spent more time with your children, you would know them better. Faaya really is a daddy’s girl.”

[heybinnie]

i dunno if anyone watches steven universe but i gotta dump sth here

steven universe au

some context

there is Homeworld, located in space, where gems are made and are from

the three-ish people who lead Homeworld are called the Diamonds

every other gem kinda worships them and has to follow their every order

thousands of years ago, Homeworld set out to make Earth like this place to experiment making gems and shit and basically just rekt Earth for their own use

which is BAD

so basically the Diamonds suck

so Rose Quartz, right, shes a gem from Homeworld who saw Earth as a beautiful place and something worth saving

she believed that all life on earth is beautiful

SO she betrayed her own home to protect her new home, that is Earth

she started a rebellion called the Crystal Gems

whoever joined her had to remember that they could be killed, and if they won, they couldnt go back to Homeworld and have to stay on Earth

so they went to war with Homeworld called the Gem War and they won!!!!!

but the Crystal Gems lost a lot of their members

until there was only Rose, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl left

Rose (Whos a gEm REMEMBER) she falls in love with a human

Rose gets pregnant!!!

BUT

their baby and her cant exist at the same time

so rose has to give up her physical form so that her baby can live

which means

her baby will be half human half gem, and will thus have her gem

so her baby lives, but without his mom

thats steven

and bc she led the rebellion, steven has to ‘deal’ with everything his mom left behind

which is a lot of stuff

about where Steven lives!!

he lives alone in this house, but its like connected to the Temple where the Crystal Gems live, so in a sense its basically just a big house with a huge weird basement so they all kinda live together idk how to explain this

lives on the beach!!! its so cute i love the place

THE CRYSTAL GEMS!!!

sanha is steven (*starts crying*)

his rose quartz gem is on his chest, over his heart

has never met his mom

so never really knew the love of a mother but it never really ~occurred~ to him until she becomes really important

I CANT TeLL YOU HOW EMOTIONALLY DRAINING IT WOULD BE TO BE STEVEN OK

so anyway sanha is a sweetheart

also is musically talented in every way

likes to sing random songs out of nowhere

likes to mess with his ‘guardians’ a lot aka the rest of the crystal gems

but they all have a soft spot for him no matter how much he messes up

he always does his best bro

and its so cute bc hes just the baby brother and hes surrounded by a bunch of hundreds or thousands of years old gems lmao

sometimes hes left alone at home when the rest of the crystal gems go on missions too dangerous for him

and when his dad is busy

hes alone at home

and its really quiet and the painting of his mother hangs on top of their front door, and sanha gets really lonely and just cries sometimes

so when rocky comes over his chest always fills up with warmth and relief

to sanha, his family is everything

also adorable. absolutely adorable no one can say no to his face tbh

jinjin is garnet??

hes created the exact same way garnet was

his gems are in the same places--both palms

jinjin loves the concept of love in general

bc hes literally made out of love

like legit

hes a fusion: a sapphire and ruby who werent supposed to but fell in love, and gems do this thing where when theyre really emotionally bonded and stuff theyd fuse? which is like. thats a lot of trust for each other ykno

so jinjins a fusion

people look down on fusions bc theyre usually thought to only be useful to like fight but jinjin exists because of love

YOU FEEL ME

and jinjin honestly doesnt care about what people think of him bc he exists

but he feels very strongly for fusions!!

hes also considered the ‘strongest’ because hes a fusion

also the de facto leader of the crystal gems

always calm and level headed but occasionally likes to crack a joke

everyone loves him

jinjin is jinjin in the sense that he is always kind and likes to make sanha laugh

soft spot for sanha

sanha trusts him a LOT

often looks to him for advice, when something goes wrong, for safety and warmth and protection

eunwoo is pearl

he hides his gem beneath his bangs?? bc hes embarrassed :’)

pearls are considered only useful as ‘accessories’ and servants to the Diamonds

gems from Homeworld think of pearls as the ‘lowest’ gems

but this boy learns to love and be confident of himself come FIGHT ME

no one owns eunwoo man he’s his own gem

hes really super duper smart

sometimes he and jinjin fight bc he sees things more logically>? while jinjin acts more on intuition and stuff?

mj makes fun of eunwoo sometimes bc he doesnt know how to have fun? but then right after mj helps him so thats kinda cute

but also eunwoo berates mj a lot bc 

well its mj

also chides sanha a lot when he doesnt keep the house in order

often helps to clean up

anyway hes considered the ‘closest’ to Rose Quartz bc hed been fighting by her side the longest

so he misses her a lot but eunwoo doesnt blame sanha for any of it; he loves sanha all the same

but then bin THE LION comes into the picture and eunwoo gets this weird but warm, familiar sense of comfort from bin, something he remembers feeling around Rose when she was still around, so he likes to hang with bin a lot

even if bin the lion likes to lie on his face and whap him in the face with his tail and leave fur everywhere

anyway

mj is amethyst

but like....hes an amber

his gem is on hiS BACK between his shoulderblades

the history of amethyst: amethysts are ‘made’ on earth, theyre made mostly to be soldiers and fight for homeworld

somewhere above pearls on the hierarchy i guess

theyre made in the Kindergarten, where there are these holes in the walls where the gems would come out of

at some point mj’s kindergarten kind of became like a ‘bad place’ and every gem that grew out of there were like parasites

so that Kindergarten was abandoned

and mj, the hole he came out of, his hole was smaller than everyone else’s

he came out smaller than everyone else

he was considered a ‘defect’ and weaker than the others

anyway bc the place was abandoned and he had nowhere to go since no one wanted him, mj just stuck around alone by himself for hundreds of years

until Rose came along (when she was still alive of course) and offered him to join the Crystal Gems

and Rose taught him love and how he was worth fighting for and he mattered and that he wasnt a defect, not a parasite, that he deserved love and to be loved and to love others and

im emo

ANYWAY

MJ IS MJ hes the mood maker and always makes sanha smile whenever sanha is feeling down

hes kinda like the glue that keeps the gems together

loves to have fun

but he gets really uncomfortable whenever the topic of the other ambers or the Kindergarten is brought up like hes super insecure of where hes from

he tries to smile it off tho but he really just doesnt like talking about it

protecc mj

ROCKY!! IS CONNIE!!!!!!!!!

SANHA’S HUMAN BEST FRIEND

who sanha really pours his heart out to!!!

and rocky as rocky doesnt give him shit ykno but he real talks sanha

a lot

rocky also doesnt care that sanha is half gem and half human; like doesnt care and just likes him for him

sticks around through thick and thin and hell and highwater

believes in sanha, holds a lot of faith in him

but hes still your Rocky Swag

always listens to sanha whenever he needs someone to talk to

actually likes to hear about all his adventures with the other Crystal Gems

likes to touch and poke and prod at Sanha’s gem too

like he’d sometimes kinda just pull down on sanha’s collar just so he could look at his rose quartz gem sparkle in the sun and its so pretty he kinda wished he was a gem

anyway eventually he starts to really worry for sanha and wants to fight the bad guys with him, doesnt wanna be protected all the time

so rocky learns to fight

from jinjin

and rocky becomes especially good in combat and stuff and learns how to use some weapons from eunwoo (specialises in weapons) 

honestly rocky is a gem like hes a GIFT

sanha’s so thankful for him

but he also feels really bad bc he feels like hes pulling rocky into his own mess and putting him in danger

but rocky doesnt care he just wants to be by sanha’s side and help him wherever he can and support him all the way through

im emo

rocky also holds sanha quietly when he cries about his mom

which starts to get more and more often

bin....is lion......................................................

LMAO

basically Lion is this uh lion that Sanha found one day when they went on a mission, and Lion is all pink and stuff and followed him around and all the way back home too

the Crystal Gems were unsure about keeping him but sanha thought it was HELLA COOL to have a pet lion and they all eventually lost to His Baby Face

no one can ever say no to that face

anyway bin is called Lion bc sanha has no originality with names so there

anyway

bin is actually a gem

he specialises in shapeshifting? so when rose was still around he was in lion form a lot

hes a cATS EYE QUARTZ

BUT HIS GEM waS cracked in the middle of the gem war

and usually when a gem’s gem is cracked they start to get real weird until the crack gets bigger and bigger and eventually it shatters which means they die

but when rose was alive she healed him but could only do it like halfway? like it was a rushed job so he was stuck as a lion during that war

and then when that was over he was kinda left behind bc rose thought she’d lost everyone already

idk bro

so basically bin’s been stuck as a lion for TOO LONG until sanha found him

but sanha doesnt knoW hes a gem bc bin’s gem is hidden so far beneath is goddam thicc mane so no one ever knew

also my friends who may not know

Steven’s Lion is pink

this means binnie will have pink hair and skin imagine that

and he kinda kneels to sanha (even as lion)

I CANT EXPLAIN THIS U JUST GOTTA KNOW HE KNEELS AND BOWS HIS HEAD

#respect

but also maintains that whole im-older-than-you-respect-me-u-brat vibe

ANYWAY

bin the LION comes along on one of the Crystal Gems’ missions with sanha

aND HE GETS REALLY HURT

ALMOST DIES KINDA HURT

his gem cracks and his form starts to get real weird, changing between lion and other animals and shit

SANHA STARTS CRYING

“Lion????”

sanha cries A LOT, buries his face into bin’s mane and stuff and it soaks right frickin thru

his teaRS HEALED BIN’S GEM

BIN COMES BACK

AS HIS ACTUAL FORM

hes naked

everyone screams

[dent-de-leon]

what do you think when some ppl use keith as a prop to their ship? it's​ kinda transparent when those ppl hate him having screentime, right?

ahhh i mean ya i felt sad when people were annoyed at how much character development he got…;;

the thing is, seasons 1 and 2 were both intended to be season 1. if you combine the two, then you see that a lot of characters got their development out in season 1.  but keith? up until the latter half, he has nothing. no one really challenges his world views. and when they do–hello pidge–it’s like hitting a brick wall. he’s stagnant, quiet, reserved. one of the writers flat out said that, out of all of team voltron (including allura and coran) keith had the least amount of lines in season 1. out of everyone, keith needed development the most, and im glad he got it. 

what really makes me feel bad about ignored character development for keith is some stuff i heard people saying after season 2 first came out. a few fans were annoyed about bom, said that it was unneccessary and keith didn’t need that much focus, that they shouldve given certain scenes to other characters and that spending a whole episode on keith’s backstory was ridiculous. and yet, everyone was more than happy to go on about how good keith looked in the suit. there’s almost this thing about keith where it seems like some people want him to be seen and not heard. 

when fans think of him as just something pretty for decoration, thats what really bothers me. there’s also this sentiment that people wanted keith to have scenes, but not his own scenes, which makes me kinda sad. 

thats also why i get kinda defensive about a possible black paladin keith–he’s already proved himself by piloting the lion once before, and it was basically shiro’s last dying wish that he pilots. shiro doesnt even consider anyone else. keith cares about his duty to the team so much he was the only one who readily signed up for a suicide mission to central command. at the end, when shiro is out of the fight, keith is the one who steps up and gives orders–and all the other paladins follow without question. but people are still so quick to dismiss that character development in favor of the flat season 1 interpretation of “just runs in and stabs stuff without thinking” 

similarly, ive seen a lot of people hate keith’s character development with allura. but i think that, in terms of their leadership styles and passionate personalities, they’re very similar. so i get why they’d become closer. they have a lot of interesting parallels, from both having to give up their dad to internalizing this idea that they need to sacrifice themselves for the good of the team. i understand why people didn’t like the galra keith conflict, but i think it makes a lot of sense to show someone who didnt trust him immediately. i think it was rushed and could’ve been handled better, but i dont really see any reason to blame allura or keith’s characters for that. (i also believe allura had every right to react the way she did, and was thankful that rebuilding that bridge was at least a choice she made on her own, and not something she just did because people told her to get over it)

and i mean, i feel kind of bad because i know i talk about sheith a lot, but also …it seems like shiro was instrumental in shaping keith’s backstory, and its kind of hard to talk about one without the other when shiro is also a part of a lot of keith’s big character arcs–finding red lion, standing beside him in bom, serving as the catalyst for keith’s leadership, the fact that he did something big that changed keith’s life, ect. so like, even though i talk about sheith a lot, i also like to think i do so in the context of keith’s own character development while still establishing that he’s his own person first. 

and for any ship, i think as long as people keep that in mind, then there isnt any disservice to his character 

[juushika]

Homestuck liveblog part 2: early Terezi, Dave/Dave OTP, narrative techniques; interspersed by quoting everything Karkat says

me: did i say i was vriska i mean i am she is really obsessed with blackrom and same uh vriska a troll in homestuck blackrom = antagonistic intimate relationships

Missy: yes you are

me: but really i am terezi

Missy: i has no idea who this is i am a potato

me: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003479

EB: oh man, whatever, what do you even want. GC: 1M MOT1V4T3D BY S3LF 1NT3R3ST […] GC: MY FR13NDS 4LL TH1NK TH4T YOU C4NT R34LLY CH4NG3 4NYTH1NG GC: TH4T YOUR T1M3L1NE W3'R3 CH4T-HOPP1NG 4ROUND 1S S3T 1N STON3 GC: NO M4TT3R WH4T W3 S4Y OR WH3N W3 S4Y 1T GC: 4ND TH3YR3 PROB4BLY R1GHT GC: BUT 1 DONT C4R3 GC: 1 W4NT TO M3SS W1TH 1T 4ND T4ST3 WH4T H4PPENS GC: >:D

terezi is like hannibal-esque curiosity i wanna see what happens if I: help! make a murder! i’m flexible really!! she’s just the right balance of creative & engaged vs distanced & curious

Missy: …. you scare me

me: THIS is what scares you about me

me: oh fffff i forgot about tavros’s …quadrant…ing (I can’t find the first reference of this in the 2mins I am willing to spend looking, srry) this reread is like 50% super familiar and 50% i FORGOTTED ABOUT THE FEELS the cast is so big and confusing and the troll’s interpersonal quadrants is complex but also ESSENTIAL like the true “let me tell you about homestuck” is “let me explain quadrants and tell you why SAME BRO SAME” tavros is such a small pure child

me: i am so glad that rose/kanaya is literal canon b/c they are my faves john & karkat’s relationship is so good i just love the narrative longcuts/shortcuts/loop de loops that homestuck achieves?

(http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003535

EB: well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. EB: it was because shut up. EB: shut up is why. 

we are all john)

it’s just such a BRAVE narrative in some ways–not really the use of second person, which is 50% gimmick and 50% narrative technique, when it’s done well that’s neato but mostly it’s stylistic but the use of time-travel to just leap the narrative ahead of itself, to insert foreshadowing/stakes from fucking NOWHERE and the fact that Hussie kept it all in his head and it makes a cogent whole: really smart, really effective progression/pacing

me: DAVESPRITE I COMPLETELY FUCKING FORGOT jesus like hussie has absolutely said dave has his typing quirks/voice/is basically him and so the hard-on that hussie has for dave and the FACT THAT DAVE’s entire narrative is time-travel/interactions with self is a thing worth commenting on (dave/dave otp)

me: am reading the homestuck year one review if you ever wanted to know what i meant about self-referential/time travel as plot progression STUFF then it’s a really good…. indication http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003574 …..which i think is comprehensible without context. maybe not that you should actually read it, i just seeing it in paragraphs is An Experience

Missy: why... does he have an icky big enter keyboard with such sad keycaps?

me: this was posted in 2010 so maybe he hadn’t learned to be cool yet

[and what followed was a 15min derail about vintage PC keyboards I swear2god]

me: HI SOLLUX LONG TIME NO SEE we’re meeting the rest of the trolls now!!! sollux is also when the typing quirks start getting ridiculous so there will be less copy/paste because you will be like "why am i trying to read this, why are you pestering me” (ahahaha this was a lie) http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003615

TA: iif you cant fiigure 2hiit out by fuckiing around you dont belong near computer2. 

me: this is it this is when dave comes together for me there’s a major time back-skip he does half an act ago which is the sort of establishing moment of “dave, knight of time, breaking narrative convention/building narrative shortcut/also functioning as foreshadowing and user guide” and then his sprite prototypes off him, which is a sort of “a dave, in conversations with himself” http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003763 but its the first sighting of a dave corpse that sort of clarifies what the looping is for him, and how he �� does … time/identity/mortality

(an aside: …..i didn’t catch before that the second (….second by series chronology not internal…. chronology b/c internal chronology is complicated) generation was actually created first????? a discovery oh wait nvm its the guardians (ty for clarifying that thing about which i have no context; yw!) ooooh my confusion is jake (second gen) is cloned from grandpa (zero gen) which is why they look the fuck identical)

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003835

GC: D4V3 WH4TS 1T SM3LL L1K3 TG: what GC: YOUR BLOOD TG: fuck off GC: D4V3 GC: G1V3 1T 4 L1TTL3 T4ST3 FOR M3 GC: T3LL M3 WH4T HUM4N BLOOD T4ST3S L1K3 GC: 1V3 B33N SO CUR1OUS >:]

it’s me i’m terezi

TG: how do you use a computer and know whats going on it doesnt make sense TG: my face doesnt make sense GC: D4V3 YOUR *F4C3* DO3SNT M4K3 …… GC: D4MM1T GC: 1 KNOW 3V3RYTH1NG TH4TS GO1NG TO H4PP3N TO YOU GC: 1 C4N T3LL YOU B3FOR3 1T H4PP3NS GC: SO YOU C4N B3 R34DY GC: 4ND NOT H4V3 TO GO B4CK 1N T1M3 4ND G3T K1LL3D 4LL TH3 T1M3 GC: 4ND ST4ND ON 4 TO1L3T LOOK1NG 4T YOUR OWN BLOOD FOR T3N M1NUT3S 

what i love about terezi is like the mix of practicality, curiosity, get shit done but with the true motivation of “what if” and the surprising interpersonal insight which arises from that same curiosity like from the narrative pov, we saw dave find his body and dump his body, then cut away, and then he just had bloody hands but it’s terezi who noticed, and tells us via this conversation, that dave was having A Think about those bloody hands b/c they’re an accidental contemplation of time and morality dave would never bring that up b/c of the facade of cool, narrative can’t easily show us and it’s not action-based really, but terezi introduces it b/c terezi cares b/c terezi cares about people in the “what do they do??? when exposed to this stimuli??” sense not in the, caring about, their welfare, thing not that part

Missy: i read your whole homestuck thing i understood maybe 20% of it without context i think this is decent

me: considering i understood about 80% of it yeah i’d say so that’s why the year 1 wrap up was so nice i am not a good visual learner so some of the flash anims go over my head and the plot is a clusterfuck so it’s easy to feel wtf even when you’re the active reader

me: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003927

CG: WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT, THIS ACT THAT YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU’RE A HOTSHOT, YOU KNOW YOU HATE YOURSELF. TA: nobody hate2 hiim2elf more than you iidiiot.

Babiesssss

me: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003961

GC: : K4RK4T, PL34S3 GC: DONT PR3T3ND YOU D1DNT 3NJOY GO1NG 4ROUND K1LL1NG TH1NGS GC: 4ND TH4T YOU WOULDNT 3NJOY K1LL1NG 4 WHOL3 LOT MOR3 GC: PR4NC1NG 4ROUND W1TH YOUR L1TTL3 S1CKL3 B31NG 4LL 4DOR4BL3 CG: YEAH RIGHT. CG: MORE LIKE… CG: ADORABLOODTHIRSTY. CG: I’M PRANCING AROUND BEING THAT, OK?

200% sure I c/ped that last time I read this But I regret nothing