#hansel and gretl

[iminaworldofpureimagination]

whats your problem velma? as i bisexual i think these girls are pretty.

or wait i knwo she figured out its all a trap and these blondes are gonna fatten em up and eat em! Yes it all makes sense .

[toverijenspokerij]

I swear I am not part of the Old Witch With Candy House side of Tumblr.

But... I thought everyone knew it is a long cooking time on a low flame

[theriverbeyond]

Just finished ch 23 in my Nona reread and i think Ianthe dismissing Blood Of Eden as "terrorists" is especially jarring because of the evolution of how BOE is presented in the text

like first in GtN, Gideon never mentions who or what she could be fighting if she had succeeded in her dreams of joining the Cohort. she wants to be part of the "invasion force on whatever", and her fantasies of violence are exclusively oriented around perceived personal freedom and making Harrow feel bad

And then in HtN, Blood of Eden is finally named as the Empire's enemy, but they're very specifically never called "terrorists". they're "insurgents" per both John and Judith, which not only has a wholly different definition (revolutionaries!) it's also an interesting intentional choice on the part of the *writing*. It would make in-universe character sense for Cohort Captain Judith Deuteros to call BOE "terrorists" in the personal notes she takes while prisoner, and it would make in-universe character sense for Emperor John Gaius to call them "terrorists" when he is explaining to Harrow that they are The Enemy. and i feel like it is narratively important that Blood of Eden is very intentionally *not* presented to us the readers with the kind of aggressive dehumanization/dismissal connotation combination that the word terrorist has.

and then like, obviously, the first BOE character we meet is a hot MILF with a gun. and sure she's trying to kill God, but Augustine and Mercymorn also try to kill God like 3 pages after we (properly) meet Wake so it's not like killing God is presented as a negative thing.

So going into NtN, I feel like the general impression of BOE is revolutionaries who hate the Empire and hot ladies with guns. which as far as impressions go is like, pretty positive, and that impression is only emphasized in the first 300 or so pages of the book. You have more hot women, you have more hot women with guns. There are factions of BOE that hate Our Protagonists more than the ones we meet, and there's infighting and hostages and burning suspected-necros in the park, but the BOE members we meet are explicitly sympathetic to the characters that we the audience care about, so the "scarier" parts of BOE are in many ways de-emphasized to the reader. We're *also* given an up-close-and-personal view of how bad it is for the people living under the Nine Houses' rule/resettlement via Hot Sauce and the gang, which further solidifies BOE as *at least* bordering on (if not outright!) "someone to root for", even for resistant readers.

and then Ianthe shows up and calls them terrorists and it feels a bit like a slap to the face. It serves to emphasize and perhaps consolidate what has been building for the series, which is essencially that the protagonists of the previous books are on the wrong side. Necromancy is on the wrong side. the Empire is doing bad fucking things and they are calling the revolutionaries who resist them "terrorists" as a way to delegitamize their resistance and dissuade support, something that no longer works on the *reader* because of the way Tamsyn Muir has hansel-and-gretled the fuck out of that story arc. send post.

[moose-posts]

my absolutely spoiler-filled thoughts on Glass Onion are:

1. Benoit Blanc is the gayest detective I have ever seen and I am in love with him (Phillip is his husband and I am in love with him too)

2. When it was revealed how Miles had access to Duke’s gun all I could do was laugh at this very literal meaning of Chekhov’s Gun (Johnson really Hansel and Gretled the shit out of this movie)

3. We love an old white gay using his privilege to help women of colour destroy oppressive systems and get revenge (his outfits…I just-)

4. The reveal of background info in the middle of the movie was so damn satisfying to watch (and Chekhov’s Hot Sauce to fake Helen’s death)

5. I need about 3 more of these, two being a spring and winter setting as others have rightfully suggested and one prequel where we get Benoit and Phillip’s romance which just so happens to take place as Blanc is solving a crime (because of course he is)

Thank you for your attention

[cogbreath]

i wouldn't even be mad if someone hansel and gretl shit happened to me like i STILL found and ate from a giant candy house

[im-overstimulated-and-im-sad]

hello hello! you are in my notifs and there is an ask game going around (should you wish to partake). answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog. (as a secret addition, also tell me what number child (youngest, oldest, middle, only etc.) you are in your family and what that says about your personality - if you want!)

Hi! 🥰

1. I recently cut my hair- this wouldn’t be that exciting but I used to have long enough hair I cut 21 inches off- which I still have the hair in ziplock bags because I want to donate it lol

2. I have seen too many movies/make a lot of random movie references (like I wish could be someone with an encyclopedic knowledge of music because that’s at least cool but I have been told more than once my music taste is bad and if I haven’t seen a movie I will look it on Wikipedia so I can know about it (I do th is with horror movies lol). I worry I make too many references to movies in my writing, for which I blame watching too much Gilmore Girls and Psych because they made it seem fun (I have started a fic about TK realizing Carlos doesn’t have a favorite movie and tries to find him one by showing him different movies- which I’ve been going back and forth on is the the dumbest idea for a fic that no one besides me will find entertaining lol)

3. I cannot cook for shit- I really wish I could, I’ve tried but it’s such a mess and you’re not supposed to clean it because steps in cooking and it makes me so stressed out- like my brother went to culinary school and happened to come visit about this time four years ago and was stuck home for two months and he tried so hard to get me tk like cooking and it never took- but while he was here I had such good leftovers- like I would be the easiest person to trick into a cottage in a Hansel and Gretl type situation- like literally all someone would need to say is I have home cooked meatloaf and I’d be like oh do you??

Bonus- I am the youngest- there’s just two of us but I do wonder if it has influenced things because I feel like I’m such a baby about everything and get overwhelmed so quickly and my brother just handles things and is very adept at everything and is a very social person and I am not- like I wish I could be the things he is lol

Thank you for the ask! Sorry for rambling so much 🫣

[fighter-spirits]

Month of Emmet - Day 27: Fairytale

Emmet's favorite fairytale growing up was um. Well using real world fairy tales, it would be maybe hansel and gretle?

but let me make one up!

it's not quite a fairy tale, but there were probably books about it: the first train station and the man who made it! they called him The Warden, and he dug many tunnels with his pokemon, and used onix as train cars! Of course, it's a fairy tale, so it's not true... but it may or may not come from a real story ;)

(it's a story derived from Warden Nobori's attempts to recreate trains from his memories)

[jacktenenbaum]

on another note i really like fucked up kids stories but i hate how people are like woah... it was so fucked up that hansel and gretle got eaten like No Shit Dude the whole point of the story was to tell kids "dont fuck around in the woods and dont enter strangers houses"

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

EVERY NEW MUSICAL I LISTENED TO (or watched) MY FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

Anyone Can Whistle

A Strange Loop

Bandstand

Candide

Chess

Children of Eden

The Color Purple

Finian’s Rainbow

Follies

Funny Girl

Honeymoon in Vegas

If/Then

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Juno

The King and I

Kiss Me, Kate!

La Cage Aux Folles

Mack and Mabel

Man of La Mancha

Mean Girls

Moulin Rouge

The Mystery of Edwin Drood

My Fair Lady

Octet

Oliver!

The Pirate Queen

Rent

Ride the Cyclone

The Rocky Horror Show

The Scarlet Pimpernel

The Scottsboro Boys

Shuffle Along

Side Show

Singin In the Rain

Songs for a New World

Sweet Charity

Violet

We Are the Tigers

Also four operas: The Magic Flute, Hansel and Gretl, Tristan and Isolde, and Orpheus in the Underworld!

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Man, this whole weird situation has me unable to focus on Kesha searching for Bigfoot on Mount Shasta on tonight's episode of Conjuring Kesha. Bummer. // Girl, what? lmao is that a real show??

YES!!!

She's trying to find Bigfoot while being a fashionable "paranormal Hansel and Gretl", lol.

It's on Travel channel, streaming on Discovery.

[eddieheart]

GHETTO WITCH PART 2

Fandom: Shameless (US)

Pairings: NONE

Words: 761

Description: Carl and Ian confront their new neighbour.

When Ian came home that night he expected the usual, family eating, talking, maybe even Frank bursting in drunk. What he didn't expect was to be greeted by a frantic Carl talking about some neighbourhood witch luring kids to her house like Hansel and Gretle.

Of course he didn't believe in witches, it was a fairy tail for crying out loud. He sat at the table with a sigh, Carl and Liam following.

"It wasn't like that Carl! She's nice!" Liam cried out while chasing after his brother.

Carl slid into a chair opposite to Ian and looked him in the eyes. He motioned to Liam.

"Tell him what you told me. Liam!" The youngest boy sighed sadly before joining his brothers at the table.

"I went over to the house with cookies, she invited me inside to have them with some lemonade. When I was leaving she gave me a talisman, it's by the window. See!" He cried while pointing to the offending object.

Ian put a hand to his face and sighed again. He glanced between his two brothers.

"You went into a strangers house for cookies and she gave you a gift. Really Liam?" He scoffed and looked up to Carl.

"C'mon let's go over. See what this is all about huh?" Carl cheered and pulled a fist to his chest in victory.

Liam looked close to tears as he followed his older brothers out of the house and across the street.

Liam had to run to keep up to his long legged siblings. Ian stormed to the door and knocked with vigour.

For the second time in two days Larissa was woken by a knock on her door. She practically fell out of bed as she was getting up, hitting her arms on her bedside table.

"Ow.. jeezus!" She cried as her arm his the hardwood. She sighed and stood fumbling all the way to the door.

The door was swung open with force, she glanced at the boys in confusion before her eyes fell to Liam. A smile graced her features as she looked at the small boy. Larissa opened the door and stepped back, pulling her cardigan tightly around her body.

"Hey, Liam. You're back, wanna come in?These must be your brothers? Carl, Ian or Lip?" She smiled at the boy chuckling softly. The older two glared at her fiercely as she spoke.

The little boy pushed passed the two larger men and into the house. She followed him to the table, glancing between him ans his brothers, who still stood by the door.

"Hi Miss Larissa. It's nice to see you too. My brothers freaked out when I told them about you, I'm really sorry." He said the last part sadly staring at the ground.

"No worries, what's the problem." She asked hesitantly.

She had really hoped this neighbourhood was different from the last, people are always afraid of what they don't understand.

"The problem, is that you lured our brother into your house with cookies, then gave him some witchy trinket." The shorter one said.

"Yeah, and we aren't gonna let you steal our brother away like sleeping beauty." The redheaded boy said sternly.

She sighed and held herself tightly, she was about to speak when she was interrupted by a scream coming from behind her. Larissa quickly fled the room and grabbed her baby.

She took a deep breath before coming back into the kitchen. The two older Gallagher's had not joined their brother at the table, their heads jerked up when she walked in.

"Sorry, Kaida's a difficult sleeper. I wasn't doing anything untoward, I swear to you. You don't have to keep the talisman if you don't want to and I'm not maleficent, I'm pagan. I'm just like anyone else, except I believe in different gods." She balanced her weight on her back foot just in case she had to run.

The two older boys looked a little embarrassed and Liam looked smug. Larissa laughed quietly to herself before honing to the kitchen and retrieving the tray of cookies. She placed them on the small round table and glanced up the the boys.

"Help yourselves. I'll get some lemonade." She smiled to herself and grabbed the pitcher along with a few empty glasses.

"Shit, we're sorry. We just... Liam's the youngest y'know. Why don't you come to dinner sometime? As a makeup for our shittyness." The tallest boy asked.

She chuckled and nodded.

"That would be lovely, thank you." They sat there for a few hours, talking and laughing.

@buggylad

[adamsandgirl]

Me: I think those Hansel and Gretle brats are real stinkers for what they did to that poor little old lady. I think those little crotch goblins just hate women

Also me:

[toverijenspokerij]

I may or may have not tried to put the baby- I am currently babysitting -in the soup. Because skin that soft is bound to be good for something, if not tatsy! But seriously, this meat is a shank. And def not a baby.

Also, I just WhatApped my sister with this pic and the text 'baby's going for a swim. Nothing to worry about'.

She didn't like it. I haven't seen that many angry emojies in quite some time now. *insert cackle*

[hisslord]

Rosie telling baby Vaggie Hansel and Gretl like Morticia does to those kindergarden kids in Addams Family?

This Vaggie was raised by Alastor and Rosie, so she's delighted in the cannibalism parts

[beachesgetpeaches]

IN OTHER NEWS my boss is the most annoyingly micromanagerial (thats not even a word!!) person ever. he is the type to just send hi or hello on teams like bitch get to it i dont have the time or energy to hi-hello you. just fucking say what you want to say, get it iver with.

hi, can we talk? why yes we both seem to have the ability although YOU seem to lack the finesse the skill the mindblowing talent for talking which I have.

oh and not to mention he needs to follow-up on every action BEFORE it breeds result. like yes these are the actions and what are we doing with these? well we are trying to work on them, yes--BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO CHECK IN CONSTANTLY so we have limited time from our already very limited chunk of time so yknow... slow progress.

i want us to follow up on this i want us to follow up on that wtf is this hansel and gretle? am i supposed to drop breadcrumbs for you baby? will you follow me to the fucking candy house so we can both die or smth? chill.

[pinkbiscuits-perks-and-curses]

the witch from hansel and gretle, should've really thought things over, like instead of a candy house, she should've made a fast food restaurant with a build in mortuary