#happy birthday to a foundational building block of my personality

[woegothix]

>> dead daves are the enemy

[successloops]

I posted 67 times in 2022

That's 31 more posts than 2021!

67 posts created (100%)

0 posts reblogged (0%)

I tagged 66 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#inspiration - 35 posts

#success - 31 posts

#selfdevelopment - 27 posts

#motivation - 24 posts

#motivational - 15 posts

#successloops - 14 posts

#wealth - 14 posts

#prosperity - 12 posts

#self improvement - 12 posts

#bradcunningham - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 30 characters

#sad healing anxiety depression

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

To be held at The LOFT AT NINE in Pta. I'll be delivering an Instrumental Inspiration presentation & I'll be performing a few songs. There is an awesome lineup of international award winners sharing success strategies. There will be a firewalk, a DJ & you'll receive a goody bag of gifts too plus you will be supporting the Hemophilia Foundation. That's 7 awesome reasons why you must come besides the fact it's Cobus Visser's birthday celebration.

1 note - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

Every addiction or compulsion is masking a deeper void. Not easy to shine a light in there but it's worth investigating. Fill the deeper void & you satiate the craving and can channel a healthier habit.

If you find my posts thought provoking, please consider subscribing to my monthly muse-letter & please grab the very unique complimentary training of elite success strategies while you’re there. All the details can be found at this link  https://mailchi.mp/e5b1b6e126db/success-loops-instrumental-inspiration  

1 note - Posted August 21, 2022

#3

This Is The Reason You're Failing !!

Ignoring this primary building block is the reason why all other efforts just seem to crumble after a while. It's the reason why we experience failure.

Tools to build this awareness are on the free resources page on my website.

https://www.successloops.com

If you like our content & wish to receive bi-monthly muse-letters then read more details here: https://mailchi.mp/e5b1b6e126db/success-loops-instrumental-inspiration

2 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#2

Do You Want To Know What's The Base Foundation To All Success???

Then Read To The End. 📚

The watchword in this quote is "comfortably."

Knowing your strengths & weaknesses with acceptance & without judgement of what should or shouldn't be is loving all of yourself like your soul does. 🤗

The base foundation of personal success is self actualization & self awareness - how can you strive for anything especially happiness if you don't know where your own personal core value priorities lie? Read that again.

If you like these posts, then please consider subscribing to my monthly muse-letter. More about them can be read here & grab the free unique course while you're there too: https://mailchi.mp/e5b1b6e126db/success-loops-instrumental-inspiration

2 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Are You leading your thoughts, emotions, beliefs & actions or are they leading you?

Your mind, just like money, can be a loyal servant or a lousy master.

If you like our content & wish to receive bi-monthly muse-letters then read more details & while you're there grab your complimentary program Training With Titans : https://mailchi.mp/e5b1b6e126db/success-loops-instrumental-inspiration

4 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[yeaahishowedupatyourparty]

@.JaneyPowellx: This has been something I’ve been debating doing for a long time now and it’s never really felt right. Even now, with all of the words on paper, or typed on to a digital page, it doesn’t feel right. I found writing fiction through the desperate need to escape reality & I’ve done everything in my power to keep them separate. Whether your favourite work of mine is Harry Potter, The Selection, We Were Liars or Twelve, you’ll never find me in them because they’re idealised situations in world’s that could be just around the corner or in far off places. 

This story is different. It isn’t fiction and it isn’t escapism. It’s set in the real world and within the 21 years I’ve been alive. If you’re holding this book in your hand after purchasing it or have just downloaded it from my website, I’ll be bold enough to assume you already know the basic premise of the plot and you already have your expectations. There’re different versions of this story on true crime YouTube channels, in the newspapers and on blogs, some written with a good lot of research being done and others written just for clicks. It’s been a hard thing to accept, but all of them are somebody’s experience of the event and therefore hold a certain degree of truth. 

This is just another version of a story that you might have heard before, this time told by me, Janey.  CHAPTERS 1-3: TRIGGER WARNINGS THROUGHOUT FOR ABDUCTION, ASSAULT/HARASSMENT, DRUGS & ABUSE

//OOC: This isn’t a full on story, just the outline! I think it’s taken her ages but she’d definitely record like a diary-styled retell of everything that happened to her involving the abduction that happened when she was 15. It’d be super cheap and available in stores AND online but all the profit would be go to appropriate foundations. 

CHAPTER ONE - Happy Birthday! 

In this chapter, Janey would start out by describing her fifteenth birthday. The year before, she’d seen Harvey, her older brother, cross a milestone - his sweet sixteenth. Therefore, the expectations for her birthday were pretty high. She was expecting the big party, huge balloons, special presents, a sip of alcohol and extra privileges but alas, she was only turning fifteen. Her parents were very clear about birthdays, drinking and other rules: 16, 18 and 21 were the milestone birthdays, otherwise parties were smaller and inexpensive. 

She’d go on to explain how she’d been sulking all day because of it and explicitly remembers refusing to blow out her birthday candles after dinner. It would be something she’s embarrassed by now but at the time, it was perfectly reasonable. She’d mention that most people who only know the twenty-one year old her wouldn’t recognise fifteen year old Janey. A moody teenager who insisted on dressing like Jade West from Victorious and took way too much interest in her pink flip-phone (another thing she wasn’t happy with, seeing as Harvey - being 16 - had recently got a better one).  

It’d talk about how her parents were firm but fair and well known in Violet Springs. Her Mum was a teacher and, to Janey’s horror, actually taught her in Year 7. Her Dad is an independent photo journalist who mainly covers local sporting events. She’d explain how they’re amazing parents and even if fifteen year old her couldn’t see it, they were equally amazing to Harvey, Annabel and herself. 

Janey would go back to writing about having serious middle child syndrome and never making life easy for her parents. She wasn’t “naughty” but definitely pushed boundaries by breaking curfew, getting in trouble in class and talking back a lot. She’d confess that she cared a lot about being in the “right” crowd in high school. Deep down, she was always a naturally quiet person but felt the pressure to be as loud as the other girls. She wanted attention, and to be popular, and for boys to like her; that was all that mattered & if she knew then what she knew now, she probably would’ve slapped herself because she has no doubt that that’s what ultimately led to everything going wrong. 

She’d mention that her birthday is the 19th of March (and she prides herself on being a true Pisces as it’s also her moon sign). It also gave her a couple of months until summer, where she and her friends planned her REAL birthday party since her parent’s wouldn’t give her one. They’d decided that they’d go to the open fields in between Lilac Heights and the Cotswolds (?) during the summer and drink, get high and just have a good time. She’d explain how the group of girls she was friends nearly all had older boyfriends who were in college and it was easy to get a hold of stuff they probably shouldn’t have been having. 

Janey would talk about how the field has become iconic for completely different reasons now. If you google it, you won’t have to scroll very far at all to see pictures of it sectioned off when the police were searching for her. But, that summer it was beautiful and everybody was tanned, having fun and happy to be going into the last year of high school. Janey would explain that she’d always been insecure about not having a boyfriend, but she and her friends planned to change that because one of their boyfriend’s was bringing a guy who she’d been speaking to online. He was 22.  

The end of this chapter would be romanticised and Janey would reflect on how it was the last time she was ever “old Janey.” Her plans had been to sneak back in through Annabel’s bedroom window and get into bed before her parents even suspected a thing. But, that never materialised. 

CHAPTER TWO - As It Happened. 

In this chapter, Janey would mention that she’s going to tell everybody exactly what happened that night. Details the police couldn’t even figure out when they tried to piece it all together. There’d be a trigger warning that she’ll be mentioning drinking, harassment and abduction but would promise that it isn’t graphic.

The first part would be about how the field party was a typical summer thing; hot weather, people drinking and having fun as well as sneaking off into the forest (but not too deep) to do god knows what. She’d talk about how she ignored the constant texts and calls from her Mum when it got dark, and how she was drunk. It’d also cover that she was introduced to the friend of her friend’s boyfriend  and even though he wasn’t her type, she was excited about the attention. When it got too dark to see anything, most of her school friends decided to call it a night but Janey went to Downtown Springs with the guy she’d met and his friends because they promised they could get her into Indigo, which they did. 

Most of the night was fun; she was bought drinks, there was lots of flirting and she felt special...which is kind of the hole she’d been trying to fill throughout her teen years. She’d definitely then mention that the guys she was with and every person like them exploit people who aren’t feeling their best and would talk about surrounding yourself with people you trust and not just people who are giving you what you want. 

At one point, the boyfriend of her friend (who was now at home) started getting really loud and rowdy. To this day, Janey doesn’t know if it was genuine or just an act for an excuse to get her to leave the club with them and not go home like she’d planned. They were kicked out before it was midnight and she’d vividly recall passing a few people from school (including Wes and Nate - her ex, I think!) and chatting to them for a little while before the guys she was with mentioned their friend was having a house party in London. Nate specifically asked her to stay but she was set on having fun on her birthday and left with them. 

She’d talk about seeing familiar buildings of Violet Springs turn into intimidating city offices and the roads getting wider as they entered London. The atmosphere in the car shifted slightly but at the time, she was too drunk to even notice. Neither of the guys said anything to one another or her & it gives her the chills now to know that in that moment, she’d been abducted, but she didn’t know it. They got out of the taxi and Janey remembers being embarrassed about not having enough cash on her to pay for her third of the fare - something trivial now - and one of the guys just paying for it without much fuss. 

Once they stepped outside, she saw they were stood in front of a tower block that was almost completely silent. No sign of a party. That’s when she started to hesitate but was too shy to say anything; she was in a weird part of London at 11:45 with nobody she knew and no money. Also, she was sure she was just overreacting. One of the guys said that the party was on the top floor which is why nobody could hear it and even faked a phone call with the “host”. Janey took the elevator up to fifth floor with them and again, felt as if something weird was going on because the top floor was the seventh. This also ended up being something that confused the police in her investigation; witnesses who saw her enter the tower block had overheard the conversation and couldn’t piece together WHY she wasn’t seen on the seventh floor or who’d even supposedly had the party. 

She’d explain how the flat they entered belonged to the friend of her friend’s boyfriend and how eery it felt when it was completely silent. She asked multiple times about the party and both guys said they’d go up soon, but they wanted to have some more drinks and smoke before going up so that they were on everybody else’s level of being completely fucked. Janey remembers sitting on the arm of the sofa and realising how gross and dirty everything was. She wondered how someone who was 22 had given up already and remembers seeing pictures of her parent’s starter home at that age and how pretty it was by comparison. 

The longer it took for them to go back up to the party, the more anxious Janey got. Eventually, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and decided that she’d have to face her parent’s consequences and ask her Dad to come and get her. She panicked even more when her phone wouldn’t switch on and she realised it was dead...meaning, she’d have to borrow money to get home. Once she came out of the toilet, she half debated leaving without them knowing because she just had a horrible feeling but felt like that’d be rude. So, she went back into the living room and asked to borrow a phone. That’s when things shifted completely and fun flirting became intimidating harassment; sleazily flirting with her and telling her not to be boring. One of them even insisted on kissing her to shut her up but once she got really upset, they agreed to take her home on the basis she’d have one last drink. She did, and it was spiked, which made her pass out. 

The next day she woke in the bedroom of the same apartment, still fully dressed - something she was too young to register at the time, but now she reflects on it, it was the one comforting thing of the whole morning. But, her bag had gone and the door to the room was locked from the other side. She remembers banging on it and calling for someone, but nobody answered. She’d describe the panic and desperately wanting her brother or her Dad in that moment, but had to keep reminding herself she didn’t have her phone to contact them. She ended up being shut in that room for twenty-four hours before one of the guys came back; the friend of the boyfriend. He told her that she wouldn’t be going home and the more noise and fuss she made, the longer she’d stay in the bedroom. 

Janey would talk about how her biggest regret is NOT making a fuss and screaming until a neighbour or somebody heard, but her survival instincts kicked in and she was scared she was going to be seriously hurt if she didn’t listen. So, she stayed quiet and followed what she wanted him to do; which was to dye her hair brown and change into clothes he’d bought for her - a basic black tank top and sweatpants. Again, at the time she was too confused to even begin to think about why but now she knows it was because she’d soon be declared a missing person and if they were taking her into public, she looked too familiar to any description circulating. 

She’d end this chapter by saying how she remembered sitting on the floor of the living room that night while he put the dye in her hair, trying not to cry while her story first broke on to some of the news networks. But she’d also talk about how she felt twistedly happy that her parents had decided she was missing and not just out being her usual, difficult self. 

CHAPTER THREE - THE FLAT. 

She’d start the chapter with a warning about mentions of sexual abuse again. This would be a really brief chapter, but it would basically be her explaining to everyone who she was taken in the first place; trafficking; and how it isn’t what everyone imagines. She wasn’t chained up in a basement somewhere. In fact, before the news of her disappearance really blew up, she was actually allowed out given that she was with one of the two guys. She’d go to the store, or just sit in the park and once even to the gym. 

She’d explain how ultimately though, she’d been taken as a product. Neither of the guys ever slept with her, but there were other men who did and they’d pay the two guys to do so. She’d never get or see any of it and she’d talk about how from the beginning there were strict rules. Her name would be ‘Liz’, short for Elizabeth which was her middle name, she wasn’t to have personal conversations with any clients and the answer had to always be yes to whatever they asked. Also, crying or appearing upset was a big no. 

She’d talk about how this went on for a month which was enough time for the search for her to gain momentum and more press coverage. And, she knew this, because the people keeping her almost INSISTED that she read newspaper articles or watched reports about herself. She’d also mention how they would mock her parents, sister, brother and friends who obviously would make appeals or speak about it in statements and find it funny. That would often set her off and she’d argue with them, which never ended well for her. 

The chapter would be rounded up with how by the end of August and moving into September, when she was supposed to be starting college, the police released sketches of the “suspects” and mentioned that they could be in the London area. For around three days, Janey had hope and felt like she was going to be found...but the guys began to panic. That’s when she wasn’t allowed to go outside anymore & one night, she overheard the guys speaking about how they were going to move her “and the others” further away from the Capital. That’s when she knew that this was going to be a lot harder than just doing what they said until they got bored. 

[corkcitylibraries]

National Heritage Week | Frank O’Connor – Librarian

by Jim McKeon

Writer, Frank O’Connor, was just twenty years of age when he was released from Gormanstown Interment Camp. Cork had been badly hit by the Civil War. It was still a smouldering ruin. Because the city and county had been the focal point of much of the bloodiest fighting the turmoil of the Civil War lingered there longer than it did elsewhere in the country. In the spring of 1924, the city was still edgy. O’Connor had no money and no job. Under the new government all teachers were required to learn the Irish language. For a few months he taught Irish to the teachers at the Protestant school in St Luke’s Cross, near his home. He was paid a few shillings a week for this. He struggled by, a twenty-year old in his father’s patched up, old hand-me-down trousers teaching middle-aged teachers how to speak the Irish language. It was frustrating, especially if you were on the losing side in the Civil War. MacCurtain and MacSwiney had tragically died but he still met Corkery and Seán O’Faoláin regularly. As so often before Daniel Corkery, forever in O’Connor’s background, stepped in and arranged an interview for a job. Cork dramatist, Lennox Robison, who was secretary of the Carnegie Library, was organising rural libraries and he was looking for young men and women to train as librarians. After a tough interview O’Connor got the job. His mother packed his little cardboard suitcase, including a big holy picture of the Sacred Heart, and he set off for Sligo.

 Bust of Frank O’Connor - on display in the City Library, Grand Parade

At last he had enough books to read. Even for 1924, the wages were poor, thirty shillings a week. His lodgings were twenty-seven and sixpence. He had a half-crown (12.5 cent) left for cigarettes and drink. He posted his dirty laundry on to Cork every week. His mother washed it, with unconditional love, and posted it back, and sometimes included five shillings for her son. As a librarian he was all hands. His boss said he was untrainable. He kept busy by reading poetry books and getting them off by heart. He was blessed with a phenomenal memory. The only thing of note in Sligo was that he celebrated his twenty-first birthday far from home. After six months he was sent to Wicklow, where a new library was to be opened.

 When he arrived a local priest wanted to close down the library. Lennox Robinson had just been heavily criticised and fired from his library position because of a controversial story he wrote about a pregnant girl who felt she had mysterious visit by the Holy Ghost. O’Connor’s boss was Geoffrey Phibbs, an influential fellow poet with controversial opinions on many aspects of life. The two young poets became great friends.  Phibbs escorted O’Connor to Dublin and introduced him to Lady Gregory, George Russell (AE) and Yeats. AE was editor of the Irish Statesman and encouraged O’Connor to send him on something for publication. He sent a verse translation of Suibne Geilt Aspires and when AE published it 14 March 1924, it carried for the first time the pseudonym Frank O’Connor. It must be remembered that he was a young civil servant and he may have been contemplating on keeping his job by using a pen name ever since Lennox Robinson’s enforced resignation. He chose his confirmation name, Francis, and his mother’s maiden name, O’Connor. The prominence AE and the Irish Statesman gave him thrust him into literary view. Yeats had great time for O’Connor and said that he did for Ireland what Chekhov did for Russia. But the young librarian missed home and his mother. A vacancy came up in Cork. AE tried to talk him out of it and warned him he’d be miserable back in Cork. It never occurred to O’Connor that he would not return home. Like his father he was, at that stage, a one-town man..

 Notwithstanding AE’s forebodings, he accepted the job of Cork’s first county librarian in December 1925. He was just twenty-two years of age. His salary of five pounds a week was more than anyone in Harrington’s Square had ever dreamed of earning. The library was at twenty-five Patrick Street which was still in the process of being rebuilt.  Minnie was happy that her son was back home again and his father, Big Mick, was impressed that a pension went with his son’s new job. The city was still in a poor condition. The foundation of the Irish Free State in 1922 augured a period of new confidence in Cork. But in 1924 a public inquiry found: 

  …limited progress had been made on rebuilding Cork’s city centre since it had been burned down in 1920. Criticism was made of the poor quality of maintenance of the city streets, many of which were still paved with timber blocks. Part of Anderson’s Quay had fallen into the river. The public water supply was of poor quality…There was virtually no building in progress in the city.  

  In the burning of Cork not alone had many of the character and physical structures of the city been lost, but so also had thousands of jobs and many peoples’ homes. The Cork Examiner reported that thousands were rendered idle by the destruction. The rebuilding was tediously slow mainly because of the shortage of funding. Britain’s refusal to accept blame and pay compensation didn’t help. The Civil War itself and the post-war political divide were also major factors in delaying the building progress. This was another chapter in Frank O’Connor’s Cork, a damaged city struggling to survive. He opened his library over a shop near the corner of Winthrop Street. It was five years since the burning yet major buildings, just yards away, like Roches Stores and Cash & Co, were still rubble. Rebuilding had not yet started in these two well-known shops. In January 1927, Roches Stores finally re-opened for business. Summing up, the burning of Cork had a unifying effect on a people that had been collectively damaged by the event. It also exposed divisions in Cork society at the time. A Church/political divide came to the surface during this traumatic time. It was demonstrated through criticism by councillors of Bishop Coholan for his refusal to condemn the burning. Many republicans were unhappy because they felt the clerical comments were often selective. Frank O’Connor had a huge responsibility for a young and inexperienced man. He was given a cheque for three thousand pounds to set up and stock his library. He made his first mistake. At that time an anti-Catholic bias still lingered in commerce. He naively lodged the cheque in the nearby and more practical catholic bank when the accepted practice was to use the protestant bank. This innocent action caused a major committee dispute and O’Connor was accused of having a personal and ulterior motive. Then, when he insured the building, the insurance company gave him a cheque as a personal thank you. He didn’t want it and kept it for years but never cashed it. He sums up this whole chaotic scenario: 

  By the time the Cork County Council had done with organizing my sub-committee it consisted of a hundred and ten members, and anyone who has ever had to deal with a public body will realize the chaos this involved. Finally I managed to get my committee together in one of the large council rooms, and by a majority it approved my choice of bankers. There was, I admit, a great deal of heat. Some of the councillors felt I had acted in a very high-handed way, and one protested against my appearing in a green shirt – a thing which, he said, he would not tolerate from anybody. 

  When he finally got his stock of books together and organised his new library, he decided that he should have closer contact with the rural community. If they couldn’t come to him then he’d go to them. He bought a van, packed it with boxes of books, and drove all over the county. After six months this affected his health. He was exhausted from working long hours driving all over West Cork and he wrote almost every night. In a letter to old Wicklow colleague, Phibbs, he wrote, I’m working like a brute beast. He became ill and had to have a serious operation in the Bon Secours Hospital. He spent two weeks in hospital and six weeks convalescing. It shows his stubbornness when he shocked the nuns in the hospital by refusing to receive the sacraments before the operation. 

           Cork had a long tradition of theatre and a critical play-going audience, but in 1927 there was only one drama group in the city, the newly formed Cork Shakespearian Company. Daniel Corkery’s little theatre had closed in 1913 and groups like Munster Players, Leeside Players and Father Matthew Players were also defunct. On 8 August 1927 Micheál MacLiammoir and Hilton Edwards brought their touring company to Cork. They performed The High Steppers’in the Pavillion Theatre in Patrick Street. This venue later became a cinema and is presently HMV music shop. After the opening night there was a party at Seán and Geraldene Neeson’s home. Geraldene was Terence MacSwiney’s bridesmaid when he married in England. MacLiammoir encouraged O’Connor to revive drama in Cork. O’Connor was inspired and was instrumental in forming the Cork Drama League. Although he knew nothing about drama he threw himself headlong at the project. Old friend, Seán Hendrick, recalls: 

  That Michael knew nothing about producing plays and I knew nothing about stage-managing them did not trouble us at all…The producer was to be given a free hand in the choice of both plays and cast and members were bound to accept the parts allotted them. There were to be no stars and an all-round uniformity of performance was to be aimed at. 

  Undaunted, Frank O’Connor tore into their new venture. Lennox Robinson’s play, The Round Table, was to be the first production. It was its first appearance in Cork and there were some slight adjustments to suit the local audience. The curtain-raiser was Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard. Typically, O’Connor wrote the programme notes, directed The Round Table, and appeared in both plays. The Round Table was a difficult play to produce. It had fourteen characters. Many of them doubled up and played two roles. They had trouble trying to cast the part of Daisy Drennan, but one night Geraldine Neeson brought along a pretty young girl to audition. Although she had a terrible stammer she was a natural actress. Not alone did she get the part but that night O’Connor walked her home. From then on Nancy McCarthy became his leading lady and for years to come she was to flit in and out of his life. The company’s first play opened on 28 February 1928 in Gregg Hall in the South Mall, a theatre venue no longer used in Cork. They got high praise all round especially Nancy McCarthy. They immediately started rehearsing for their second venture, The Cherry Orchard. Cork City was now back on its feet and completely rebuilt and people were getting used to a new freedom and sense of safety. Theatre was a hugely popular event.  Plays at that time generally had an Irish theme and written by the likes of Yeats, Synge, Robinson and T. C. Murray. That had been the custom and they were very popular with Cork audiences. But the young Frank O’Connor had other ideas. He was into French and German and Russian theatre and he wanted to offer the Cork public something different. 

  English drama, no matter how significant it may be in its own setting can have no beneficial effect upon a country which is subjected to cultural influences only from one source. The Cork Drama League proposes to give the best of American and continental theatre, of Chekhov, of Martine Sierra, of Eugene O’Neill and those other dramatists whose work, as a result of the dominating influence of the English theatre, is quite unknown in Cork.  

  That was a more than subtle dig at Fr, O’Flynn, a local priest, who had founded the Cork Shakespearian Company in 1924. The two men did not get on. From 20 December to 30 December1927 they exchanged four letters in the Cork Examiner trading insults. Fr, O’Flynn signed his letters The Producer while O’Connor used his name in Irish. Seán Hendrick joined in the attack calling himself Spectator. Everyone in Cork knew who both men were. Ironically, they were more alike than they cared to admit; they were two proud Cork men, they both loved Shakespeare and they both loved Irish. Two more plays were produced, The Cherry Orchard and A Doll’s House. Both got fine reviews, but the audiences were poor. Maybe the Cork Drama League was going too far too soon, and Cork wasn’t ready for them. By now O’Connor was spending most of his time with Nancy McCarthy. Nancy was a religious girl from a well-known Cork family. He brought her home to see his mother and the couple went on a three-week holiday to Donegal. They stayed in houses three miles apart. They met every day for a year outside of St, Peter and Paul’s church after mass. They were engaged for a while but it did not work out. She would not marry him. He would not marry in a Catholic church and there was no way Nancy would marry outside the Church. She was one of ten siblings and he was an only child. She felt he was spoiled. This was quite true. By now he was being regularly published in the Irish Statesman. He had a poem dedicated to Nancy published 9 May 1928. The last two lines are filled with melodrama: 

  That even within this darkness of our body keeps  

Communion with the brightness of a world we dream  

  Frank O’Connor was beginning to feel that AE was right. He should never have left Dublin. He was no longer enjoying his years in Cork. It was no longer the place he had known. O’Faoláin was in America and recently he had found it difficult to talk to Corkery. He made it plain that he was taking sides and that O’Connor was on the wrong side. O’Connor was restless and felt that Cork was threatening to suffocate him. He missed Wicklow where he could talk literature and art to Phibbs and go on to Dublin to meet AE and Yeats. AE would give him all the latest books and gossip, and Sunday evening he could go to the Abbey Theatre and see a series of continental plays, Chekhov, Strindberg and contemporary German plays. Eventually, getting frustrated with the parochialism of Cork and his lack of success with Nancy McCarthy, he applied for the job as municipal librarian in Ballsbridge. On Saturday 1 December 1928 he packed his case and left for Dublin. He still felt it was only a temporary move. Nothing could cure him of the notion that Cork needed him and he needed Cork. Nothing but death could ever cure him of this. 

Jim McKeon’s book Frank O’Connor: A Life is available to borrow from Cork City Libraries 

Jim McKeon has been involved in theatre all his life and has many film scripts, plays and books to his name. His best-known work is probably the biography of Frank O'Connor. He also toured Ireland and the US with his one-man-show on the writer's life. Jim is also an award-winning theatre director and poet.

[revlyncox]

Naming Our Joy

Taking note of all of the things that make us happy - large and small - is a helpful practice. This Platform Address was written for the Washington Ethical Society, June 20, 2021.

We started a project at our house on June 1. Even though we’re not yet back to spending a whole afternoon indoors at the library with the children, we wanted to collectively celebrate the experience of a summer reading club. The kids used several sheets of flip chart paper to draw one hundred rectangles, plus doodles and illustrations and instructions for a shared reading chart. Everyone in the house has their own color of magic marker to color in a rectangle with the name of a book as we complete it. Reading, for us, is a delight. Asking each other questions about what we’re reading is a love-language. And so, as the rectangles have bloomed in six different colors throughout the month so far, each one has been a small notation of joy.

Sometimes we think about the seasons of our joy only in terms of peak experiences. We think of the Winter Festival, or New Year’s Eve, or the state fair, each a symbolic splash on a monthly page in the scrapbooks in our minds. If you’re a person who celebrates birthdays, maybe that’s an important milestone. Maybe camping or travel or visiting family we can rarely see sticks out in our minds as we anticipate our hopes for the year ahead. These are all good things. And yet peak experiences are not the only things that bring us joy.

It seems to me that paying attention to all of the things that bring us joy can help carry us through times of transition. Many things in our shared lives are improving, and we’ll get back to some of our favorite big, celebratory events in adapted ways; meanwhile, let’s value all of the things that keep us grounded in the best of who we are and who we can be. Today, as we hang on the cusp of summer, celebrating parents and graduates and weddings and pride, yet still aching from a difficult year and a half, let’s open our minds and hearts to all the forms of joy we can name.

Today’s story, “A List,” from Frog and Toad Together by Arnold Lobel, gives some hints about how to notice joy. The attention to detail in this story, the room Lobel makes in the narrative for pause, and the enduring friendship that is the focus of the entire series are all helpful lessons for us as we gather up sparks of happiness in our own lives, fireflies that may be only with us for a moment, but whose lights we can remember for years. From this story, I learn that small things count, that it’s important to rest and reset, and that we can find joy when we travel together.

Small Things Count

As we are naming our joy, small things count. Frog begins his day by checking off tasks like, “get dressed” and “eat breakfast.” Those things matter. There are days when self-care is a victory, and days when we need to practice self-compassion because those tasks are out of reach. In some ways, it’s a practice of mindfulness, of paying attention to where we are in the moment. As we dress, we can notice the feeling of fabric on skin, and we can hold in loving kindness all those who saw to the completion of that garment.

I think back to times when celebrating small things got me through the day, or helped me inch toward a distant goal, or just brought me back to center after being knocked off balance by the regular turns of daily life. After my children were born, I decided to give fitness walking and running a try. I had never done that before - my favorite team sports up until that time were swimming and frisbee - but something about taking time for myself with my headphones every day was appealing at that point in my life. So I got a “couch to 5K” application on my phone to help guide me through workouts that started very small, and gradually increased until I could participate in a whole race.

The first couple of days were frustrating. I felt like I spent more time lacing up my shoes than I did actually running. But eventually, because there were records, I could look back and see my stamina increasing over time. Not every day, because some days are better than others, but over time there was improvement. I could celebrate when I could run rather than walk for a whole minute, and then a whole five minutes. When I was able to value the time I spent on the practice, even if all I could do that day was walk around the block, I had more energy to keep going. I did get to run in a race eventually. I have since switched to a different form of exercise for my regular workouts, because I have age-appropriate knees, but I did learn something about finding joy in small achievements. Sometimes we need to work up to things gradually, and when there are setbacks we need to work up gradually again. Writing down the joys and the milestones can help.

Focusing on the positive aspects of the experience and on the signs of improvement helped me sustain a practice. The same can be true for groups. I think people at WES have experienced Appreciative Inquiry before. Sometimes we think of Appreciative Inquiry in terms of a meeting or an event or a process of discernment, it’s also a paradigm shift in our organizational life together, a perspective where we lift up and leverage strengths rather than focusing on deficits. The philosophy of Appreciative Inquiry was developed by David Cooperrider and Suresh Srivastva at Case Western Reserve University in the early 1990s. So Appreciative Inquiry has been around for awhile now, and there are newer ideas we need to incorporate about competing value systems and multicultural competency, yet I think it is worth returning to an approach where we ask questions about what’s working and build a positive vision for a future we can move toward together. To bring out the best we can be, we need to identify and nurture what’s best right now.

As our community gradually re-emerges from the pandemic and builds toward a new normal of accessibility, inclusion, compassion, and justice, we will face setbacks, and the speed of our hopes may outpace the reality of how fast we can go without leaving people behind. Let’s find joy in each moment, each time we find ourselves sharing time or space or intention. When you appreciate something about WES going forward, write it down. Ask questions about how members can keep doing what you do well. Share your excitement about small things with others. Make a list, because small things count.

Rest and Reset

The second thing we learn from Frog and Toad about naming our joy is that we can rest and reset. The first thing on Toad’s list is “wake up.” That’s what makes it the beginning of the list. Every day is new. The last thing on the list is “go to sleep.” Toad does not take for granted that he will automatically remember to rest at the end of the day, he puts it on a list. Maybe some of us need a reminder sometimes, to care for our bodies instead of pushing to do one more thing. And when he doesn’t know what else to do, Toad pauses. Now, as the reader, we can imagine that it would also have been a fine choice for Toad to let go of his attachment to his list and either help Frog try to find it or create a new plan, and maybe that’s something some of us need to hear as well, but I also have some admiration for a character who will simply pause rather than rushing into the next thing without consideration.

We’ve talked before at WES about the tension between our focus on “deeds, not creeds,” and the philosophical foundation of the inherent worth and dignity of every person--value that people simply have without earning it. What we do, and the impact we have, is of greater concern than the intentions of our minds or the secrets of our hearts. Yet we cannot forget that worth is inherent, even if we or our neighbors haven’t achieved any great deeds lately. So I hope we can encourage ourselves and each other to rest. People need time to bask in their inherent worth; to notice the beauty of the people and world around them and within them; and to care for their own valuable, precious being. It may be the case that allowing rest for ourselves will also remind us of the inherent worth of others, and will lead us to create a world where every person can have what they need rather than putting up obstacles to separate the worthy from the unworthy. Rest may give us a foretaste of the Beloved Community. Rest creates room for the experience of joy.

The reset part is also important. We can experience time as a kind of river, and there are ways in which the past and the future flow into one another, yet most of us experience time as moving. The past and the present and the future are connected, but they are different from one another. Rest gives us an island in the river so that we can separate them, looking back and looking forward and looking around us so that we can differentiate what was from what is and from what we anticipate will be. Things that brought us joy in the past are worth remembering fondly, but that doesn’t mean repeating the same thing will bring us the same joy or is even possible. Being present in the here and now, resting in the sense of not striving or problem solving or planning or fixing, helps us experience what is bringing us joy right now, without diminishing that joy with comparison to the past or the future. Frog and Toad go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow they will take another walk, or go swimming, or grow a garden, or write a letter. But the comfort of being in that moment is where we pause at the end of that chapter, and pausing helps us value the joy in that moment. Rest and reset to highlight the joy of the present moment.

Travel Together

A third thing we learn from Frog and Toad is that traveling together can help us amplify joy. The thing on Toad’s to-do list that transforms his day is meeting up with Frog. As companions, they support each other in new discoveries, they affirm each other, and sometimes they can be of service to their friend in a way that brings its own kind of joy. When Frog sees the list, he says, “Oh, that is very nice.” Frog appreciates the project his friend has worked on, and that’s a source of happiness. When Toad is disappointed about losing his list, Frog sits with him, simply being present, the peace of friendship providing a balance to the sorrow of a project gone awry. As the evening nears, Frog reminds Toad of something on his list, and reconnecting with his project brings Toad the excitement of a reclaimed goal. There is more joy in their adventure together than there would have been for either of them alone.

May it be so for all of us. Sometimes companions are hard to find, and most relationships come with moments of tension and conflict, yet there are ways we can cultivate a practice of presence with one another that amplify joy, make sorrow more bearable, and help sustain us on the journey. Some of the secret is in the first two things we learned, that small things count and that we can take time to rest and reset. Small affirmations and appreciations make a difference in our relationships, they help us find joy in each other. Taking time to rest, being fully present even when our companions are having a difficult time, letting the new day reset us for the here and now to be with our loved ones as the people they have grown to become, all of these are practices of friendship that make room for joy.

Over the past year and a half, we have had to reassess what it means to travel together. We share time differently than we used to. We find connection in chat messages and text messages, shared movies over an internet connection, recorded sentiments and songs, notes back and forth about books we’re reading, and cards in the postal mail that are ever more precious. May it be so that in-person connections become more practical for more people, but that does not take away the value of the connections that sustained us during this time. We don’t need to devalue the ways we had to adapt, and we definitely don’t need to abandon the people for whom those adaptations are still needed. We are better together, and that includes the friends who have limited mobility, or sensory sensitivities, or transportation challenges, or delicate immune systems. Our beloveds of inherent worth come in many varieties.

I believe there are spectacular adventures ahead for WES. This continues to be a vital community of exploration, mutual support, and action for justice. We will find new ways to live out WES’s core values, and become ever more fluent in new and old ways to connect as members journey in collaboration. We are better together. In that, there is joy. I invite you to continue that joyful journey and your commitment to WES.

Conclusion

Our joy is cultivated and uplifted when we notice it in progress. This is especially true of the small joys, the moments of contentment, discovery, and affection that sneak up on us without being scheduled. Taking note of our joys - writing them down, sharing them with each other, savoring the moments, naming these times as what they are - helps us to experience them fully. Small things count, so give every moment of joy its due. Rest and reset, finding ways to be fully present and to bask in your inherent worth. Travel together, with appreciation for your companions, respect for their inherent worth, and joy in what you can discover in your shared journey.

[yeetdam]

stars after the rain ☾ yedam

genre – romance, soulmate au

synopsis – set in a universe where everyone is born with two names tattooed on their skin. one name stands for their soulmate, the other for their potential killer. no one knows which person inked on them is their other half and which is their downfall, but that has never been an issue to you. after all, you were born with just one name. and, well, there’s only one way to interpret that.

wc – 8.3k

a/n – this is a completely self-indulgent fic pls forgive me this mess contains everything i dream of: best friend doyoung antics, slow burn-ish vibes and a cheesy rendition of the slow dance scene on the rooftop from high school musical 3 :’) either way, i hope you’ll enjoy this and pls lmk if there are any mistakes or if u have some feedback uwu

It’s bound to end in a tragedy when Doyoung barges into your room without any warning and sees it for the first time.

“That’s a cool place to have a tattoo,” he admits and points at the back of his neck when you turn to him with an irritated expression. The realization crashes onto you like an atomic bomb the moment you subconsciously mimic his movement and slide your hand up the back of your neck.

“Oh.”

In the blink of an eye, you frantically rummage through your drawers for your foundation. Lately, there’s been many things clouding your mind, be it the many exams you can’t afford to fail or the abnormal number of complaints Hyunsuk has sent you in a span of three hours. It’s not the first time for you to drown in all kinds of duties, but it seems like the pressure has got into your head worse than usual. You never fail to cover the ink on the back of your neck with either turtlenecks or foundation, so it just fuels your frustration when Doyoung sheds light on it.

“Hey, relax! We can join the party a little later, so take your time,” he says and puts a firm hand on your shoulder in an attempt to calm you. “Uh, do you want me to help? It must be hard blending that in every day.”

You snort. “First of all, I am relaxed. Second of all, I don’t do this every day, but I manage perfectly on my own.”

“Jesus Christ,” Doyoung sighs and retreats his hand, “I was just trying to be the empathetic best friend. But jokes aside, it really is a cool place to have your tattoo. My thigh can’t relate.”

“As much as I love being your best friend and am willing to listen to your problems anytime–” you successfully find the bottle and squirt a generous amount of foundation on the beauty blender, “–even that is too much information for me. What should I know next? Your other tattoo is on your butt?”

There is nothing wrong with covering up the tattoos you are born with. It’s not socially frowned upon if someone doesn’t make any efforts to hide the ink. In the end, it all boils down to your personal preference. You know a handful of people who waltz around with both of their names on display, and you are relatively sure that Doyoung would be one of them if his tattoos were on an appropriate part of his body.

“Haha. Funny,” Doyoung deadpans before he whips out his phone. “I meant what I said, take your time. Plus, I realized I still gotta call someone.”

“Give me five.” You hum and apply the liquid on your skin. He exits your room and makes sure that the door falls softly in its lock to give you a moment of peace. A frown paves its way onto your face as you build up the coverage until there is no trace of black on your neck.

Showing the inked names on your skin and just talking about the concept of soulmates in general isn’t a social taboo. However, there are quite a few people who rather avoid the topic at hand, including you. Truth be told, every cell in your body knows that Doyoung is dying to discuss this topic with you and there are too many moments you recall where he looks as if he’s about to explode if he doesn’t bring up his soulmate. However, he never did that. Doyoung wears his heart on his sleeve and so do you, but here’s the thing: Doyoung is better at swallowing them down.

So as his best friend, the least you can do is go with him to that one goddamn party even though there are other things you’d rather do at this late hour of the day.

(A prime example of what you’d rather do is giving Hyunsuk a piece of your mind because receiving fifty-seven emails about not understanding biology, whining about the new TA and his harsh grading and inquiries about what to get Seunghun for his birthday in the span of three hours is not okay.)

Whenever you go out in public, you are usually seen with a turtleneck or a scarf. Covering up your tattoo with a foundation is your plan c) when desperate times call for desperate measures. Also, there is a reason why you barely go to parties.

Parties fall under desperate times.

Although there isn’t anything in Yeji’s house that is illegal to consume, the living room is sweltering hot, the music obnoxiously loud, and the entire scenario is equivalent to a frat party minus the alcohol, drugs, and making out.

Instead, a dozen bottles of pretty much every soft drink you can find from the convenience store just three blocks away and a broad selection of chips and chocolate and cake are found on the tables.

“Wanna bet that you could never finish cola with salt in one go?” Jaehyuk suggestively raises a brow at Doyoung and holds up the red cup in his hand.

“If I win, you owe me bubble tea for an entire month. Wherever and whenever I want.” You fight the urge to smack yourself as you see the sneaky grin etched on Doyoung’s lips. For a moment, you debate whether to stand up your comfortable position on the couch and knock some sense into him. But then again, you remind yourself why you’re even here in the first place. Though you know most of the people here, you don’t really talk to them. Doyoung was your only friend present.

You’re only here for Doyoung’s sake. You’re going to let him have fun and let him regret his life decisions in the aftermath.

“Aren’t you feeling lonely here?” you divert your eyes from Doyoung to the guy who drops himself on the couch beside you. He’s a new face, you figure, dressed in an unbuttoned, red flannel shirt, a black graphic tee underneath and ripped skinny jeans. Strands of jet black hair fall into his face, but they fail to hide the genuine twinkle in his eyes as the corners of his lips subtly tug upwards.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” you mumble and are very glad that you’re no longer focused on Doyoung if you consider the gagging sounds he’s emitting, “I’m not a huge fan of these kinds of occasions.”

“Let me guess,” he muses and takes a sip out of his cup, “That guy forced you here?”

A chuckle escapes your lips when he points at Jaehyuk who’s laughing maliciously at a kneeling Doyoung.

“Actually, it’s the guy who looks like he needs life support, but close enough.” you lift a brow at the flannel guy. “Is there a reason why you’re staring at me like that?”

He shrugs in response. “I’m just happy that I managed to lift up your spirits a little bit.”

There it is again, the glimmer in his eyes. You can’t lay a finger on what exactly it is, whether it’s playfulness or an underlying risk. All you know is that it's a gamble. You either take the leap or you keep it safe. It’s not the first time that you end up in such a situation, but this time, it’s a little but different. The only thing that is stopping you is the uncertainty of reading him.

But maybe, maybe it’s not that bad.

“You know,” you start and fiddle with your fingers, “I’m fairly sure that you’re the only one who can enlighten me here.”

Your hunch is proven right. It is not that bad. Not bad at all, actually.

For the next hour, you two stay seated on the couch and talk about all kinds of things. Sometimes, when you bother to care, you laugh at some mishaps that occur right in front of your eyes, like Chaeryeong tripping over her own feet before she crashes into Mashiho and makes him fall flat on his face.

“Wanna grab something to drink?” he asks after a while and swirls the last few ounces of liquid in his cup. “Besides, I think I need a refill.”

“Sure,” you reply and you both enter the kitchen. The room is empty apart from the two of you, and though you can still hear the music blasting through the closed door, your ears don’t ache as much anymore.

While you grab ahold of one of the opened bottles of cherry cola and pour it into an unused red cup, you watch him roll up the sleeves of his flannel from the corner of your eye. He has pretty hands, you figure, and maybe it would’ve been better if you didn’t stare at them for so long. It’s only a subtle flick of his wrist as he fixes his sleeves, but you don’t fail to notice fine black lines on his left wrist.

Before you ponder longer about it, he asks you, “Hey, can you pass me the cherry cola?”

You nod wordlessly and hand him the bottle and don’t leave his hand movements out of your sight. Once in a while, your eyes flit to the fridge behind him, to the few strands of jet black hair that sick out messily or to his eyes. Curiosity has never been a trait that really defines you, but sometimes, you can’t help but try to decode the name on his wrist.

Still oblivious to your underlying intentions, he continues rambling about his favorite music producers. “Cha Cha Malone has this really distinctive tone in his productions…” he places the edge of his cup on his lips with his left hand and suddenly, your blood runs cold.

Though there is the slight possibility that you are suffering from hallucinations, you are pretty damn sure it is not an illusion. The kitchen sheds enough light to see everything clearly, from the slight bags under his eyes to the coffee stains on the table. The lights aren’t blinding, but they’re enough to decipher the fine black lines inked on his left wrist.

Your name.

“... and I feel that– hey, you look like you saw a ghost. Is everything alright?” he furrows his brows in concern, but when he follows the trail where you’re looking at, he gets the gist. You notice him tense up and are pretty sure it’s not a trick of the light when he pales, something akin to guilt paints his face.

“Come to think of it,” you mumble and avert your eyes from his wrist. “I didn't catch your name. Who are you?”

He hesitates, chews on his bottom lips first before he answers. He looks like a deer caught in the headlights and it just fuels your thought that the worst case scenario has become a reality. You hope it isn’t what you think it is.

“I’m Bang Yedam.”

You stare at him in disbelief, unable to force any coherent words past your lips. A shiver runs down your spine, and though there is less to be scared of because your name is inked on his wrist too, you're still wary. Obviously, the one who is destined to end your life won't have your name tattooed on them.

But with your circumstances, you can't help but include that possibility.

Yedam doesn't hide his panic anymore as he tries to justify himself. "Look, I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself earlier, (y/n). Doyoung told me not to–"

"Doyoung? What does Doyoung have to do with this?"

When all you're met with is silence, you ask again with something akin to fury laced in your tone. "I said, what does Doyoung have to do with this?"

He diverts his gaze to the counter behind you with pursed lips. Knowing that he won't spill the truth, you try to find the remaining puzzle pieces to complete the mystery by yourself. Your efforts are in vain though, because there is nothing you remember that could serve as a link to what Yedam said–

("I realized I still gotta call someone.")

"I need to go," you say when it dawns on you and you set the cup on the table. A jumble of emotions rages in you, be it the anger that flows through your veins or the whirlwind of irritation and disappointment and despair flooding your senses. You don't stop when Yedam calls after you and tries to make you stay.

You rush into the living room to grab your belongings, completely ignoring Doyoung who is still oblivious to your discovery. It's when he takes a closer look at your trembling hands and pessimistic face that the joy falls from his face.

"Hey, why are you leaving already?" he asks, concern laced in his voice as he tries to touch you, but you swat his hand away.

You huff. "Mind your own business, I really don't appreciate your stunt."

"What?" he furrows his brows and tries to figure out the meaning of your words. "I don't understand–"

"(y/n), please don't go– oh God." Yedam slows down to a halt at the sight of you and Doyoung. The boy beside you widens his eyes when he sees Yedam and then, the realization strikes him like lightning.

"O-oh, that was what you're talking about. Look, I can explain–"

You don't stay a while longer to hear his reasoning.

There is a reason why Doyoung has been your best friend for so long. It isn't the first time for you to fight and if you're being honest, your ego isn't that big to not forgive him. Doyoung can be awfully nosy and loves to stick his nose into someone else's business. Therefore, it doesn't surprise you that you invite him over on an afternoon after he left fifty voice messages and over a hundred text messages in your inbox.

"Please don't start your explanation with 'I was trying to do you a favor'." you sigh in distress.

"I was trying to do you a favor," he bluntly says and it costs you your willpower to not invite him out of your place. Doyoung sends you a crooked grin before he turns serious. "Okay, real talk now. I was just... surprised when I saw Yedam's name on your neck. And since I already knew that one of Yedam's tattoos is your name, I thought it'd be a good idea to make you two meet. Turns out to be that I was a fool."

"You're always a fool, please," you deadpan and snicker when he shoots you a death glare.

"Hey! I was trying to be an empathetic best friend here! I just breathed and here you are, clowning me. That is disrespectful!"

He attempts to throw you off your chair by aiming a pillow at you. Instead, he almost knocks down the succulent on your desk. The next few minutes, you bicker for a while and start an impromptu tickle fight to lighten up the mood. It's when you both lie on the carpeted floor and your heartbeats have fallen back into a steady rhythm that he addresses the problem at hand.

"Why don't you want to give him a chance?"

"My gut says it won't end well," you reply slowly.

Doyoung shuffles to the side to get a good glimpse of your face. "You know, the chance is high that Yedam's your soulmate. He's got your name too, after all. And he's willing to give it a shot, y'know? One meeting doesn't sound bad and won't be the end of the world."

You hesitate, considering the implied proposal with a frown. "It's complicated."

"So you're willing to let the glorious chance pass by?"

"Yes."

Taken aback by your rapid answer, Doyoung adds in a quieter tone, "Not many people manage to find even one of the two people. Even less find the one who wears their names too. You should definitely consider it, (y/n)."

"I get where you're coming from, but..." your voice trails off.

Doyoung watches you with expectant eyes. "But?" he drawls.

But you don't understand.

"You're not gonna stop bugging me until I say yes, are you?" you say instead. Although you'd trust your life to him, you don't want to burden him with your tattoo dilemma. He may not let it show too much, but you know he has his worries and he doesn't need to break his head about the meaning of your only tattoo too.

"Do you want the truth or a fabrication of lies?" he asks with a suggestively raised brow, making you roll his eyes at his silliness.

"Fine, I'll meet up with him one time. He shouldn't get his hopes up, though."

For some reason, you find yourself walking into the café fifteen minutes earlier. You blame it on the fact that there surprisingly was no traffic jam, although it's rush hour. As it turns out, you're not the only one to arrive earlier than expected, because Yedam enters the coffee shop five minutes after you.

He notices you right away, seated in between red and black cushions at the far back of the room, but doesn't steer towards you instantly. Instead, he stands in line and orders two drinks before he approaches you. An uncertain, shy smile adorns his face and contrary to the first time you met him, he's different. His hands shake so much that he spills one cup a little bit when he sets them down and he can't bring it over himself to look you in the eye. Yedam's treading lightly, abnormally careful about his own actions.

"I got you hot chocolate. I hope you don't mind," he mumbles and slides the cup towards you.

There's the need to tell him not to worry and loosen up. However, you don't manage to do so. What you do manage is a quiet "thanks" before you take a sip of it.

Well, at least Doyoung wasn't lying when he said that the café served delicious beverages.

Awkward, heavy and pressuring don't even come remotely close to describe the silence hovering above you. Even an innocent bystander can tell that neither of you is exactly comfortable in your shoes.

"So." Yedam's ears perk up when you clear your throat. "You wanted to meet me."

"Yeah…" his voice trails off as he taps his fingers on his paper cup. This time, he's wearing a blue wool sweater with sleeves so long they cover up his palms. You fight the urge to ask him if you could see his left wrist.

"Uh, give me a second to mentally prepare myself." he stammers before he starts anew. "I'm going to be honest here. I was happy when Doyoung called me and said he knew someone who wore my name. I had a great time that night and I, um, guess that things wouldn't have ended like that if you figured it out in a different manner."

"I'm going to be honest too," you confess. "I had a lot of fun that night, well, before it started to go downhill. It's just, I don't think I'll be able to cope with this." You gesture on your own wrist. 

Something that hits very close to desperation is written on his face. For the first time, he looks at you directly and tries to read you. "Listen, I'm not trying to force anything on you. I know not everyone cares about the marks and that's fine. I just..."

He hesitates, tries to find the right words. Judging by the tone of his voice and the quiet sigh that escapes his lips, you know he doesn't belong to the group of people who don't care, unlike you – and he is very well aware of that too.

"You just?" you probe. Though you are quite sure what words will follow next, you need to hear them come out of his own mouth.

Yedam glances at you unsurely, wariness audible in his voice when he speaks up. "I was just hoping to, uh, get to know you. It doesn't have to be something long lasting, I swear. If you feel uncomfortable, we can break it off at any time. I was hoping that we could at least try."

There are many, many red lights blinking in your mind. This suggestion is nothing more than a very, very bad idea. In your case, the journey doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter if you end up being more than friends. What matters is the result. And, well, the result is inevitable.

Amongst the many, many stop signs that practically scream DON'T DO IT, there is one brain cell that begs to differ. Yedam looks at you expectantly, pleadingly even. His desperation is visible in his eyes as if they held stardust which reflects his every emotion.

You inhale deeply through your nose in an attempt to steady your frantic heartbeat. It's bound to end in a tragedy and you should care more, but you don’t have the heart to reject him.

Hopefully, you don't sound so unconvinced and scared when you respond.

"Trying sounds good."

Yedam is careful. He's so careful it genuinely surprises you. He doesn't push you to anything, works his way to more personal questions (though so far, the most personal question he's asked you was how long you've been friends with Doyoung) and tries his best to cater everything to your needs. It's by the fifth time you meet up in person when he finds the courage to ask for your number. Truth be told, you can practically see him pondering five minutes about each text he writes before sending it to you. The absence of emojis in his messages just confirm how nervous he still is.

It's still awkward when you talk and most of the time, it's Yedam who asks questions. Yet he's quick to pick up certain likes and dislikes, like your favorite ice cream flavor or your least favorite type of music.

It goes without saying that Doyoung practically demands regular updates. He was over the moon when you told him how your first date ended and even paid you bubble tea. That was how happy he was for you.

"He's not as bad as expected," you say as you nonchalantly look for good Netflix movies to watch.

Doyoung snorts in response. "Of course I knew that already. I've known Yedam for a good while now and seriously, all he does is sing the High School Musical soundtrack and swoon about music producers."

"He sings?"

You practically feel Doyoung rolling his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing on earth. "Duh. That guy's a singing god. But you have my word, (y/n), I'll end him and twist out his intestines if he hurts you. You really don't have anything to worry about."

"The only thing I worry about is you becoming a potential murderer," you say in a monotonous voice. (In a way, it’s ironic, given how there is bound to be someone who wears Doyoung’s name with the negative connotation.)

That causes your best friend to laugh in an exaggerated manner. "Very funny. In all seriousness though–" he grabs a handful of chips and stuffs it in his mouth, "–how do you not know that he sings? Even though you know he produces his own songs? I thought you talk lots."

"The thing is–" you shuffle to the side and hope he won't spit any crumbs on you, "–he's the one who talks. I just listen and answer his questions."

Doyoung sends you an unbelievable look that's equivalent to 'Are you serious?' "Then ask some questions back, you fool!"

"I don't know what to ask though!"

"What? You truly are unbelievable." he groans and throws his head back. "I guess I have to step up my game and help out a poor soul, huh?"

You throw him an offended look. "I am not an imbecile!"

"I never said that, dumbass," he tuts. "But back to the point. Yedam likes music, just recommend him some songs and he's gonna love you. Or have a High School Musical marathon with him. For all I know, attend a concert with him or just let him show you his own songs– the possibilities are endless! You always meet up at that café and although it's nice and cozy there, it's getting boring. If you only knew how panicky Yedam gets when I bring you up in our conversations: pitiful! That's what it is!"

"I don't know if that'd be a good idea–"

"Listen, I have no idea why you are so against getting close to him and since we already had this talk, I'm not gonna bring it up again. But for the love of God, if you already agree on trying, then put in some effort yourself!" he exclaims and with every word, his hand gestures become bigger. It even reaches the point where you're certain that he's going to hit you in the face.

Nonetheless, he’s right. You desperately need to step up your game.

Yedam is confused when you send him a link while he’s talking about something you don’t bother listening to. His irritation is visible in his scrunched brows, in the way his gaze switches from you, then back to his phone, and in the little hitch in his voice.

“They say your music taste tells a lot by yourself.” you shrug and try to sound as casual as possible. “And, uh, perhaps I heard that you like listening to new songs.”

The confusion morphs into a small yet genuine smile once he sees that it’s a link to a Spotify playlist. “You’re not wrong about that. While we’re at it, here.”

Your phone vibrates, signifying a new text message. Just like him, you fail to hide your amusement when you see the link to his own Spotify playlist, followed by a SoundCloud profile.

“Let me guess, the SoundCloud one is where you post your own music?” you joke lightly but when you look up and meet Yedam’s bewildered expression, you gulp. “Did I say something insensitive?”

Yedam hastily shakes his head. “No, not at all! I’m just surprised that you remembered that I produce some songs too.”

“I mean, it’s hard not to forget that when Doyoung gushed about that for a good hour and you like to swoon about how much of an idol Cha Cha Malone is to you.”

He looks at you with a stunned expression. “Do I really talk that often about him?”

“No. I just remembered that, that’s all.” you smile lightly. Regardless of whether or not Yedam buys it, the apples of his cheeks are dusted red and he looks down as if he hopes for the floor to swallow him whole.

Quickly realizing that the atmosphere might turn into an embarrassingly long and awkward silence, you scroll through the Spotify playlist and chuckle when you recognize songs you haven’t heard in a while yet.

“Do you have something against my music taste?” Yedam asks, partly wary, partly sounding as if he was ready to brawl.

“No, of course not!” you explain once you calm down. “It’s just, it’s been a while since I heard the Jonas Brothers. Also, uh, I’ve never seen High School Musical and you have a lot of songs in it.”

Yedam looks like he's about to jump out of the window and his eyeballs might have fallen out of its sockets after your confession.

"What did you even do in your childhood?" He acts as if it was an unforgivable crime and then adds with conviction, "First of all, the entire soundtrack is on the playlist. Second of all, what are you waiting for? We need to catch up with things you should've done when you were a child!"

“What are you–” Before you get to finish your thoughts, he grabs ahold of your hand and leads you out of the café. “Where are we going?”

“My place,” he replies without looking back at you as he picks up his pace. “You need to watch all movies. I refuse to leave you uncultured.”

Your attempts of not having to watch any of the films prove themselves futile. That, and the other, unexpectedly childlike side of him make you stay. Even if you planned on running away, you couldn’t anyway. With the way your hands are intertwined, it’s hard to do so. Though by now you’re practically rushing down streets and occasionally bump into a pedestrian or two, the incredulous look on their faces when they see you hand in hand is something you don’t miss. 

You don’t know whether the feeling bubbling in your gut should feel warm.

When Doyoung said that Yedam knew every single song from High School Musical, he meant every single song.

You tried, you really tried to pay attention to the storyline. However, it’s not that easy when five minutes into the movie, the first song comes up and Yedam belts out every single note in a theatrical way. You find yourself anticipating the next song so he’ll sing more rather than the actual plot progression.

When Doyoung said that Yedam could sing, he meant he could sing. It would’ve been nice of him if he had warned you beforehand how angelic Yedam’s voice was because your jaw dropped to the floor the moment he started to sing. You didn’t know what you expected, but you certainly did not expect to be swept off the ground in a span of 0.08998 seconds.

“Did I just ruin your fun?” Yedam asks carefully, a bashful smile plastered on his face once the first song came to an end.

The question startles you and you blink at him in awe before you feel the heat creep up your cheeks. “What? No! I mean, no. I was just surprised that your voice is that nice,” you manage to choke out.

His smile widens, and your face flushes a deep red.

“So you don’t mind me singing along?”

“I prefer your voice over that guy right there…” you pause. “Wait, what? Forget what I said.”

“Me? Forgetting that? You wish,” he beams and erupts in laughter when you cover your face with your hands. “But if that’s what you want, I’ll sing along.”

You find yourself listening to Yedam singing anything your heart desires many times after.

While you still have no idea what exactly the plot of High School Musical is up until now, you indulge in the heavenly voice of your human jukebox even more with every passing day.

Depending on his mood, you discover the many facets of his personality. On days where he’s tired and you happen to stop by just because you’re casually in the neighborhood, he shows you his self composed songs. Although the bags under his eyes are impossible to miss, he keeps his head held up high and urges you to comment on all of his songs despite rather wanting to hide under the covers.

On days where you’re tired and happen to be lounging on his couch, he loves to lull you to sleep. His voice is soft and gentle, just like his hands playing with your hair as you hide your face in the crook of his neck. Then there are days where it seems as if stole the sun’s job or had drunk too many energy drinks and jumps around like a lunatic while belting out the melody of My Heart Will Go On.

Today seems like a day where he’s just emitting happiness.

Truth be told, you don’t know when exactly you’ve let down your guard. The current scenario is too sickeningly domestic for your liking – with you leaning your head on his shoulder while his arm is lazily draped around you. The third installment of High School Musical running on screen doesn’t quite suit your taste either, yet you don’t make any amends to put some distance between you.

“Do you know how to dance?” Yedam asks casually, eyes glued on the screen. Currently, Troy and Gabriella are at the school rooftop and it seems as if the next song is going to start soon.

Your eyes narrow at him. “What are you planning?”

“I’ll take it as a no. But that’s fine too.”

“Yedam, seriously, what are you planning?”

There’s a gleeful twinkle in his eyes when he faces you. Before you can ask again, he stands up and pulls you up with him.

“Just trust me on this. It’ll be fun,” he interrupts you in the middle of your doubts. That shuts you up for good, yet it doesn’t hinder you from sending him warning glares.

You stay blissfully unaware of his ulterior motives until he firmly grabs one hand and puts your other on his shoulder, followed by planting his free hand on your waist. He shoots you a fond and reassuring smile to soothe your panicked self. Then slowly and surely, the first guitar strums come out of the speakers before Gabriella starts singing in the background.

A quick glance behind Yedam to the screen, where the lovestruck couple is also in the same position as you, is enough to let you know in which direction this is heading to.

“No. No. No. I can’t dance, much less slow dance–”

“I’ll guide you. Just keep your eyes on me,” he muses and tilts your chin so you lock eyes.

There are so many cells in you that are screaming at you to look away, but you’re unable to do so. There’s something behind the fragments of fondness in his eyes that you can’t quite decipher, but either way, you get lost in his eyes and your breath hitches.

“Let me guide you,” he repeats in a tone that makes you melt in a matter of seconds. You’re pretty sure your legs would’ve given up at this point if it weren’t for him who takes a step back and tugs you with him.

It goes without saying that you feel like a newborn baby deer that’s still clumsy on its legs. In the first few tries, you’re uncoordinated, stiff as a board and step on his toes a few times, and you’re not able to look away from him. He winces when you misplace your foot and you shoot him an apologetic look in return, but after some time, you get the hang out of it. Midway through the song, your legs no longer feel as if they’re going to mutate into jelly as you sway through the expanse of his living room.

“Look, you’re doing just fine,” Yedam reassures warmly before a grin etches across his lips; as if he just came up with a brilliant masterplan. “Wanna try a spin?”

“No,” you shoot out like a bullet and cause him to giggle. “This is enough for today.”

“Fine then, maybe next time.”

The rest of the song is spent in comfortable silence, warm smiles and occasionally knocking over a book or two when you happen to bump against the shelf. When the song comes to a slow end, you find yourself coming to a standstill. It’s just then when you realized how dangerously close Yedam really is. His breath hits your lips and you pick up the slight scent of spearmint.

You’re not the only one who notices. Yedam’s gaze switches from your eyes to your lips. Confliction is prominent in his face. Even though you’ve grown more comfortable around him, a feeling similar to home even, he’s aware he can’t cross all your limits yet. He doesn’t dare to prod further, lean a little bit closer and you know he’s wordlessly giving you the shots.

At this point, your heart practically hammers against your chest and you wouldn’t put it past him to hear it too. Perhaps, you’re in too deep and for a moment, you slowly move closer until it’s just a matter of a few millimeters separating you.

That is until you’re aware of the fact that you’re clinging onto his hand as if he were your lifeline. The realization causes a knot in your stomach. Suddenly, the doubts flash your mind; the fear that initially overcame you when you first met him at the party, when you found out who Yedam was.

There’s nothing wrong with Yedam. He’s nice and talented and genuinely cares. Yet at the same time, you’re not certain if there’s nothing wrong with him. You can’t be fully certain of him and that realization strikes you like lightning once more.

You try to ignore the sadness that washes over him for a short moment when you pull away.

“I’m sorry. It’s just a little complicated to explain,” you mumble apologetically.

“It’s fine,” he replies in the same manner.

There’s no doubt that you can see the genuineness in his eyes, but you can’t tell whether he was really telling the truth or was trying to manipulate himself into thinking that it truly is fine for him.

Surprisingly, as well as to your luck, he doesn’t bring up the episode again. In fact, he acts as if it never happened and honestly, you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. You’ve become a little more cautious ever since, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t want him performing a little bit of skinship on you. He still sings for you, proudly shows you his latest songs and becomes cozy around you whenever you watch a movie.

Just like any other day you’re at his place, you’re sitting on the couch and currently scrolling mindlessly through your inbox while Yedam is on the other end of the couch.

“I really like you.”

You hope you misheard what he said. Yes, you definitely misheard it, you’re positive of that. The intensity of his gaze when your eyes meet begs to differ though.

Honestly, the day was bound to come sooner or later. After all, you’re not that oblivious. Yedam is similar to you, you like to think – he wears his heart on his sleeve. But whereas you let your bad sides show, he puts all the good in him on display.

“How are you so sure that we’re soulmates? Do you have any other reason besides the fact that I wear your name too?” you ask after a moment of silence. It costs you your entire willpower to not lash out on him and say once more that you’re not interested in something more than what you already have, but he wouldn’t believe that.

And frankly, you’re not sure if you would believe yourself either.

“I do,” he responds, voice full of conviction. “I say it so easily because I found the other person already, and I know that he’s not my soulmate.”

“Again, what makes you so certain about that?”

Yedam purses his lips and hesitates before he sits directly next to you. He opens his mouth several times, but no words come out.

Then suddenly, without any verbal warning whatsoever, he turns to you completely and tugs on the collar of his sweater, pulling it so far down until he exposes a strip of skin underneath his left collarbone.

You gape at the sight, hope you’re hallucinating. You really hope this is just a trick of the light. It must be one.

The pitch black ink contrasts with his skin, and though the letters are fine lines and easy to miss if you don’t pay attention, the name leaves a burning image in your head and a foul taste in your mouth.

Kim Doyoung.

“I wouldn’t put it past him to kill me if he really wants to. And trust me, he’ll definitely have a reason to do so.” Yedam chuckles dryly as he covers the tattoo.

Although you already know the answer, you ask flabbergasted. “Does he know?”

“That I wear his name? Unless he wears mine, which I highly doubt, no. He would’ve confronted me about this by now if he knew.”

It explains a lot. No, it explains everything. It explains why Yedam oozed confidence and was sure that you were bound to last a lifetime. It explains why he looks at you as if you were the center of his world without a doubt. It explains why he’s not afraid of you. He’s only been treading lightly because of you.

You sneak another glance at him and the sight causes something in you to break. Yedam is sitting right beside you, watching you carefully and pleadingly even. The specks of glimmer he holds in his eyes, the ones that reveal his feelings, aren’t even specks anymore. They’ve dissolved and you’re looking right through him. He wears his emotions on full display now, the desperation is prominent more than ever.

He’s treading lightly yet is needy for an answer and slowly reaches out for your hand. Before it can get so far, you turn away from him and croak out a weak “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t trust me?” you wince at the hurt laced in the undertone of his voice.

“It has nothing to do with me trusting you. It’s me, okay? It’s just–”

“–complicated, I get it,” he spits out the words as if they were acid and suddenly, the couch feels much lighter.

“Yedam, I didn’t mean it like that!” you stand up and grab the hem of his sweater in an attempt to bring him to a standstill. “I’m sorry.”

Yedam stands still, but he doesn’t turn around to meet you. He takes in a deep breath and sighs audibly, but you don’t miss the hitch in his breath as if he’s trying to contain something else.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have–” he pauses, stabilizes his shaky pitch before he reaches back and detaches your grip, “Nevermind.”

He leaves you alone in his living room and it costs you your entire energy to not break down onto the floor.

He doesn’t text you anymore and as much as you itch to contact him, you don’t muster up the courage to actually do it.

Doyoung also noticed the shift in your relationship. Fortunately, he doesn’t pry further and never brings up Yedam in your conversations. You’ve never told him any details but you’re relatively sure that Yedam said some things to him.

Either way, Doyoung remains a great friend. He tries his best to lift up your spirits – even bought you a gallon of your favorite ice cream flavor along with a lifetime supply of candy of all sorts. Once he realized that his wallet was suffering, he resorted to cooking your favorite food, even if that almost resulted in him burning down the kitchen.

However, as much as Doyoung might distract you from your pity party, he’s not a permanent fix. You know it and he knows it. Therefore, it really doesn’t faze you when he brings up the last person you’d want on your mind (to your dismay, he’s the only person on your mind).

“He’s also miserable right now, you know?”

When you don’t respond, he sighs and drops on the seat next to you, seeing it as his cue to continue. “He’s waiting for your call. I don’t know what went down between the two of you, but you better sort it out. Not only am I running out of ideas to get you out of your house, but I’m also pretty sure you two will end up as living corpses if you don’t fix it soon.”

You lift up your head and purse your lips. “It’s not going to end well.”

“You always say that.” he rolls his eyes, sounding more fed up this time. “Yedam didn’t tell me a lot and I know you get turn hyperventilated whenever it comes to your tattoos, so I’m not going ask about that. I never did and never will, get it? All I know is that Yedam dished out his soulmate situation from start to finish. You should trust him too, wholeheartedly.”

“I would’ve done that if I could a long time ago!”

“If I could,” he mimics, two octaves higher than your actual tone, “You can! I don’t want to guilt trip you or anything, but it’s only fair if he knows too. He’s poured his heart out to you, why can’t you do the same? Just think like this: say we live in a world where soulmate tattoos don’t exist, would you like him?”

“I…” your voice trails off.  

Seemingly satisfied with your reaction, Doyoung sighs and stands up.

“I think you know the answer too. Talk to him, please.”

Come to think of it, you’ve never invited Yedam over to your place. That’s about to change when you send him your address and find him at your doorstep later in the evening. The sun is long gone and in its place shines the moon along with the stars. Their light is enough to taint your living room in a soft glow and it’s enough to notice every single one of his features.

He’s tired, looks like he hasn’t slept well in days, yet frankly, there’s something oddly comforting about his presence.

“You called?” he asks to break the ice.

Truth be told, you’ve rehearsed what you wanted to say many times a few hours ago. You could’ve also practiced weeks before but you doubt you’d ever get rid of the uncertainty laced in your shaky voice when you start to talk about that topic.

You fiddle with the hem of your sleeves. “I realized something. You never asked to see my tattoo.” It’s not what you rehearsed, but as long as it leads to the point, it’s alright.

“I didn’t want to pressure you,” he responds.

You observe his expression, narrow your eyes in a brief moment of contemplation before you slowly undo the scarf you’re wearing. Yedam is quick to guess where this is heading to and quickly stammers, “Wait, you don’t have to justify yourself in front of me!”

“No, I want to,” you say with conviction and turn around so he can see the black ink at the back of your neck. Although the room is just dimly lit, you know that he can see it clearly. For a moment, you get goosebumps as his fingers ghost over the ink, but you let him bask in his fascination.

“The truth is, this is the only tattoo I was born with,” you confess after a moment of silence.

He gulps. “What?”

“I only wear your name, Yedam. You’re smart, I’m sure you understand the weight of that.” You turn around but don’t find the courage nor the energy to look him in the eye. The silence is heavy, unbearable, and literally nothing about it lifts the pressure off your shoulders. You don’t need to see him to know how the revelation shatters his view on everything in millions of shards.

“Look at me, please,” he pleads instead, and when you shake your head in response, he gently cups your face. You have no other choice but to do as and are startled when all you see is not pure horror, but soft, pure and wholehearted adoration in him.

“God, (y/n), I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you. Believe me when I say you mean so much to me. You have no idea how hard I’ve tried to have you voluntarily open up to me. and now that I see the situation from your view, I get why you were so unwilling at first. But trust me when I say I only want the best for you and would never put you in danger.” The raw vulnerability in his voice makes you believe him for a while and keeps you from breaking out in tears.

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh, I do know that. Did you already forget? Doyoung is my potential killer,” he says matter-of-factly and sends you a broken smile, “So before I kill you, I’ll make sure that he ends me first.”

“Great, and then my best friend ends up in jail.”

This time, he genuinely laughs. You, on the other hand, can’t bite down the small smile that paves its way on your lips from that weak joke.

“You’re right, I can’t guarantee your safety from me,” Yedam admits once he’s calmed down and tucks a strand of your hair in place before he goes on, “But I can guarantee that I’ll do anything in my power to make you happy. Have you even looked at my SoundCloud profile? Ever since I met you the majority of my releases are love songs!”

“So you admit that the songs are all about me?” you playfully raise a brow at him.

“Of course they’re all about you.” he breathes out as if the weight on his shoulders was lifted off of him. Yedam still looks like he could need some sleep, but there is no longer a sign of restlessness. He is at ease, and it shows the most when he adds fondly, “It doesn’t have to last forever. We can break it off if you feel unsafe. I hope we can at least try.”

The course of this conversation is oddly reminiscent to your first date in the café, you think. Back then, you were more than convinced that the only way this would end was as a tragedy. Back then, you just said your answer out of pity, one might say. But that was back then, and this time, you’re more than serious and more than convinced when you respond with a smile.

“Trying sounds good.”

[myinnerthoughts53]

when the truth came out, behind the scene

so for the last 2 months on and off my brain has been trying to answer some questions that I don't think ill ever be able to answer on my own... sometimes I go around in circles thinking of why we got as far as we did...

I know you loved me and you saw a life with me, you wanted a future with me, but I didn't see it working, yes of course for the first 2 years we were great and happy and I thought you were great but then things just started spiralling.. into the same shit, for the first 2 years it was great having someone that could show me the basics of cooking and help me further my skills, it was great going to soccer games, it was fun having chill weekends after a busy week of work, it was great hanging out with your family, it was nice going to the beach with the dog, it was nice waking up next to you, then it all changed

I asked you to teach me to cook something I really liked, your answer was "watch me and learn"... fair but I was always in the way somehow so I couldn't learn. I couldn't watch what I wanted on tv for half an hour while you cooked because you wanted the sport on, weekends became the same, boring, uneventful quiet nights in... we didn't talk much because there was a movie on or sport. watching soccer was great but you’d never come to a netball game... I felt so alone when all the other girl's boyfriends turned up but apparently you had better thing to do than support the one you wanted to spend your life with. chill weekends, they were fun, till they got boring, yeah I’m okay with a home-cooked meal but what about taking it to the park or beach and making it special, showing me you appreciate how much I work since you can’t and that even though you can't do a lot your still putting in the effort. it was nice going to the beach with the dog even for a walk around the block, till you acted like she was unable to walk long distances, even then she was alone, out the back yard, yes she got fed and pats but not much else.it was nice to wake up next to you because we fit so well next to each other, waking up in your smelly dank, room and your old bed... yep it was great. I always wanted what was best for you, but you’d never listen, drink more water, go for a walk, stretch your body out you’ll feel better, you didn’t even want better for yourself so how was I supposed to support you? you didn’t even want to change yourself for the one you supposedly loved, you wanted none of it till it was too late. till i put us on a break so you might realise what you had before i was gone completely, then you wouldn’t even talk to me about what was going on, you started seeing a councillor, to none of my knowledge, and you wanted to start going to the gym, well guess what, i came to the realisation that i wanted to change you too much, there was not a lot about you that i liked enough anymore to stay, i realised that i didn't see a future with you, that you didn't support me enough in my difficult times for me to want to stick around and be with you, we were okay with seeing each other once a week.. if that, unless we were busy with other events, that wasn't normal, in the month i had to baby sit you came over twice, that's not what a couple in love is meant to be like you should have wanted to come over every other night and spend time with me but no that was too hard for you... for you to socialise you needed alcohol possibly to hide your insecurities, there was never a plan when we went out it was just “well figure it out when we get there” so i ended up driving and not drinking, i ended up becoming your driver without so much as a please and thankyou, i was almost just expected, i already had enough of that at home i didn't need it from my boyfriend. both times i tried to leave because things weren't working, both times you told me it was because i was under a lot of stress and that id made a lot of changes  and that once i was away from that situation we would be fine, still you did nothing to convince me of that, you didn't show me that we would be okay but still I stayed to work on things even though i was no longer comfortable with you, i stayed because i felt i had no other way out, no way of living out of home than to stay with you, you wanted me to stay because you loved me and I wanted to leave because I loved you in a way that i didn't want to hurt you by staying and dragging things on longer that they needed to ,I faced you i laid next to you and cried and told you how I felt while you told me things would be better i tried to leave but you wanted a life with me, so like everything I gave in and i stayed, then when shit hit the fan and you knew I was slipping away, you couldn't face me, you couldn't talk to me face to face and tell me how you felt or what was going on, no it was all over text messages, I came to collect my things and you were asleep, you hid behind your insecurities and you couldn't face me, yet your emotions became so raw because you were loosing someone you thought you had a future with, for the first two years i thought we had a future together too, but when there's no effort and no support and no love, things fade, things collapse and things fall apart. you said I was running from something that was broken, maybe I was but when there's no love to work on there's no foundation to build on when there's no love what is there to work on? you wanted me to stay when there was no love just because you loved me more than I could return to you, you wanted me to stay instead of running away from problems, the only problem was we weren't working anymore, what was I meant to build on when I had no love, no material to put into the relationship? should I have stayed and lied to you more, dragged it out another month, lead you on a while longer and give you false hope that things were okay that I was in fact building on what we used to have? you think i didn't want to spend your birthday with you and that's simply not true, i had moved house and sprained my ankle the last thing i wanted to do was to go out to dinner, i was in pain and going out wasn't helping.  so i know I'm not going to get answers to any of my questions but maybe you will learn and grow from what we shared, maybe you will be a better you for the next person, when your ready.

[goingknowherewastaken]

Divine Me A Masterpiece Challenge

♦ About

Welcome to my 1000 follower challenge!!! With there being a lot of seasonal challenges right now I thought I’d do something a little different. I thought that maybe we should get in touch with magic that’s in the air right now ;)

So for this challenge we are looking at tarot! First I’ll go over the rules and expectations, then gloss over tarot, and finally round out this post with the characters and prompts. So let’s get started :D

♦ Rules

To Enter

You must apply through my ask box so no anons. If you are using a side blog and don’t want your main shown to the world tell me so in the ask and I will not post it publicly. 

Every entry needs to be inspired by a Major Arcana card and must be focused on a character or ship I listed.

Each card is limited to one person!

Entries must be sent by ask and will be posted publicly!

I have bonus prompts listed at the bottom of this post; you need to use at least one (1) and you are limited to three (3) total! Sentence prompts are all first come, first serve! The majority of the AU prompts have a two person limit.

What your ask should include - the tarot card you wish to claim, the character or ship you wish to write for, and 1-3 of the prompts/AUs I have listed (You need to use at least one from the list).

All angst must have a happy ending and no cis-swapping.

I am accepting - fics, fan art, moodboards, edits, and playlists (you need to make a cover for it).

Note: I work second shift so please don’t panic if I don’t respond in the afternoon/evening hours.

November 24th, 2018 - I currently am just shy of 1000 followers and will not be posting a due date for these until I get 1000 followers. I will tag all who entered when that happens.

When Posting Your Work

All entries are due on February 22nd, 2019. Please do not post before then.

Make sure to list - the character/ship you wrote for, any warnings, and if it is nsfw.

Tell me how you interpreted the card for your work.

Make sure to tag me @goingknowherewastaken and @jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets (Ashley is my assistant during this challenge)

Please use this tag within the first 5 tags - #DivineMeAMasterpieceChallenge

If your work contains nsfw content please make sure to tag it accordingly.

Please send me the link to your work through my ask box!

♦ About Tarot

We’ve all seen the decks of cards with beautiful designs used for helping find possible answers to questions we may have, but not everyone knows what’s going on with them. I will gloss over the bare minimum of info here, but I encourage you all to read up on tarot if you are unfamiliar with it.

Tarot cards are used for uncovering possible answers to questions we have about our lives - from love to career. Cards can be drawn and placed in a certain layout (spread) and are then read in a specific order. They are meant for enlightenment and what they tell in the spread is not set in stone - they are cards and you can ignore their take if you wish.

There are two ways to read the cards depending on how they appear in a spread - upright and reversed (upside down). If the card is revealed to be right-side up you are to read the card as is and if it is reversed then it’s meaning is reversed.

Depending on the deck, the description of the card can vary slightly, but overall they are similar. Also, the meaning behind the card is affected by the other cards in the spread. For this challenge you will only have to worry about the card you selected.

Because there are in total 78 cards in a standard deck (divided between the Major Arcana and the Minor Arcana), we will only be using the Major Arcana which totals 22 cards.

Please read up more on the card you select!!!!!

The Tarot Cards (the words listed are just brief overviews of the cards that I gathered from Biddy Tarot)

Fool - @haveyouseenmymind 

Upright - beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit

Reversed - naivety, foolishness, recklessness, risk-taking

The Magician

Upright - power, skill, concentration, action, resourcefulness

Reversed - manipulation, poor planning, latent talents

High Priestess - @frostingsfics 

Upright - intuition, higher powers, mystery, subconscious mind

Reversed - hidden agendas, need to listen to inner voice

The Empress

Upright - fertility, femininity, beauty, nature, abundance

Reversed - creative block, dependence on others

The Emperor

Upright - authority, father-figure, structure, solid foundation

Reversed - domination, excessive control, rigidity, inflexibility

Hierophant - @bsotstory 

Upright - religion, group identification, conformity, tradition, beliefs

Reversed - restriction, challenging the status quo

Lovers - @the-goddamn-queen 

Upright - love, union, relationships, values alignment, choices

Reversed - disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values

Chariot

Upright - control, will power, victory, assertion, determination

Reversed - lack of control and direction, aggression

Strength

Upright - strength, courage, patience, control, compassion

Reversed - weakness, self-doubt, lack of self-discipline

Hermit - @auduna-druitt 

Upright - soul-searching, introspection, being alone, inner guidance

Reversed - isolation, loneliness, withdrawal

Wheel of Fortune - @kjs-s

Upright - good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point

Reversed - bad luck, negative external forces, out of control

Justice

Upright - justice, fairness, truth, cause and effect, law

Reversed - unfairness, lack of accountability, dishonesty

Hanged Man

Upright - suspension, restriction, letting go, sacrifice

Reversed - martyrdom, indecision, delay

Death - @captainsbabysitter-blog 

Upright - endings, beginnings, change, transformation, transition

Reversed - resistance to change, unable to move on

Temperance

Upright - balance, moderation, patience, purpose, meaning

Reversed - imbalance, excess, lack of long-term vision

Devil - @bookcaseninja

Upright - bondage, addiction, sexuality, materialism

Reversed - detachment, breaking free, power reclaimed

Tower - @haveyouseenmymind 

Upright - disaster, upheaval, sudden change, revelation

Reversed - avoidance of disaster, fear of change

Star - @filatarcangelus

Upright - hope, spirituality, renewal, inspiration, serenity

Reversed - lack of faith, despair, discouragement

Moon - @resistance-is-futile81

Upright - illusion, fear, anxiety, insecurity, subconscious

Reversed - release of fear, unhappiness, confusion

Sun - @and-i-cant-resurrect-you 

Upright - fun, warmth, success, positivity, vitality

Reversed - temporary depression, lack of success

Judgement 

Upright - judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution

Reversed - self-doubt, refusal of self examination

World  

Upright - completion, integration, accomplishment, travel

Reversed - lack of completion, lack of closure

♦ Characters And Ships

Characters (for reader inserts)

Jim Kirk (AOS)

Leonard McCoy (AOS)

Spock (AOS)

Scotty (AOS or TOS)

Steve Trevor

Steve Rogers

Bucky Barnes

Clint Barton

Bruce Banner

Thor

Peter Quill

Skurge

Owen Grady (Jurassic World)

Nicholas Devereaux (The Princess Diaries 2)

Cinderella’s Prince (Into The Woods)

Bernie Webber (The Finest Hours)

Jack Ryan (Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit)

Toby Howard (Hell Or High Water)

FDR Foster (This Means War)

Dr. Alex Murray (A Wrinkle In Time)

Robert the Bruce (Outlaw King)(I can’t help it he’s too precious with Elizabeth!!)

Eomer

Vaako (The Chronicles of Riddick)

Gavin (Pete’s Dragon)

William Cooper (RED)

John Kennex (Almost Human)

Vincent Stevens (The Loft)

Kirill (The Bourne movies)

Ships

McKirk

WonderTrev

Jim Kirk x Eomer

Jim Kirk x Vaako

Jim Kirk x Scotty (Scirk)

Owen Grady x Charlie Weasley (from Harry Potter)(I know no one will use this ship but I have to have hope ya know?)

WonderKirk

Napollya (Napoleon Solo x Illya Kuryakin from (T.M.F.U.)

Merthur

I have expressed interest in other crossfandom ships in the past that involve one (or some) of the characters listed above so if you have an ship in mind ask me about it and I may grant an exception to it (no sp*rk though so don’t even try that)

♦ Other Prompts

Sentence Prompts (gathered from around tumblr)

“I…think I’m in love?” - @the-goddamn-queen 

“Are you scared? Don’t be. ‘ll protect you from today onwards.” @haveyouseenmymind

“It’s crazy, isn’t it? Two complete strangers who know nothing about each other being brought together like this.”

your car slid into a snowbank and i’m the mechanic that comes to tow you

i hate the holidays more than anything in the world and you drive me nuts because you love the holidays more than anything in the world and this is why we aren’t friends (enemies to friends to lovers hello)

i’m constantly dragging all my friends to your hockey games because i think you’re so much fun to watch and i don’t think you’ll ever notice me

you knit me a sweater for christmas and i realize i am in love with you @bsotstory 

your birthday lands on christmas so no one ever remembers except this year i’ve asked everyone to delay their holidays to throw you a proper birthday bash

I build a fort in the college courtyard and have been throwing snowballs at people passing by and you are not impressed

our first date is spent walking around our small town holding hands and talking as soft snow falls around us @resistance-is-futile81 

I mean life is full of surprises. You could find the love of your life tomorrow, but you could also wake up bald. @the-goddamn-queen 

Will you press pause on your SHIT for 5 minutes? @the-goddamn-queen 

“Let’s not confuse healthy eating with a hot dog.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like a half hour okay?”  @auduna-druitt

“So MacGyvering this out of my tuckus right now.” @captainsbabysitter-blog 

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.” @frostingsfics 

“You screw with me, I’ll screw with you.”

“i’m pretty good at providing distractions.”

“Why is there a picture of Steve Buscemi in your bathroom?!”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Are you ready to dance with the devil?” @bookcaseninja

hey i just moved into the house next door and i just wanted to let you know that your dog keeps getting into my yard an - wait what? what do you mean that’s a cat????? that’s not a cat it’s fucking huge!!!! (turns out it is a cat, it’s just really big and fat) @haveyouseenmymind 

The postal worker delivered your package to my place accidentally and I was expecting something so I totally didn’t look before I opened it and… wow that is um… quite an interesting thing you bought and I’m here to return it

our dogs are in love with each other and it’s making things awkward at the dog park AU

I injured myself doing something stupid at a holiday party and you’re the doctor at the emergency clinic AU

I just moved into a new apartment and went to buy groceries, but I bought more than I could carry back. I’ve stopped to catch my breath when I hear someone asking if I need help and I look up and the sun is literally making you glow like a damn angel. @and-i-cant-resurrect-you 

where one person is actually famous and sets up a dating account with their real picture and the other sees it and is like, oh dude you are not fooling anyone with that picture and when they actually meet the other is pissed because DUDE YOU’RE THAT FAMOUS PERSON and the other is like, yeah, i mean, i thought you knew…

i have a soft spot for cats so i always feed the fat one that’s always hanging out in the hall with treats and now it started hanging around me fuck i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to accidentally steal your pet @filatarcangelus

“ur just a random stranger and i’ve been ranting to you for like 20 minutes about how much i hate this one band but now several groups of people came up to you asking for pics and autographs, and oh shit it turns out you’re in the band i’ve been going on about” au

You’re a famous viner and I constantly witness you doing the weirdest things AU

“I went to see you live in concert and was front row and you went into the crowd and I grabbed your hand, but started freaking out so much that I was touching you that I couldn’t let go to the point where security had to physically tear me away from you and now you’ve invited me backstage literally what” AU

AU Prompts (each of these (baring the Soulmate AU) has a two person limit)

Soulmate AU (there will be no limitations on this prompt) - @frostingsfics 

A/B/O AU

Shop AU -

Book shop,

flower shop,

bakery,

coffee shop/cafe,

ice cream shop,

boutique/antique store

Professors/Teachers AU

Wings AU - @bookcaseninja 

Supernatural Creature(s) AU

vampires,

werewolves,

fey,

shapeshifters,

Ghosts,

demons,

Angels

merpeople

Magic/HP AU - @haveyouseenmymind 

Celebrity/Famous Face/Hollywood AU

Fake Relationship AU - @captainsbabysitter-blog 

Youtuber/Viner AU

Circus AU - @kjs-s 

Roommates AU - @auduna-druitt

Historical AU

Fairy Tail/Disney AU

Spy/Secret Agent AU

Royalty AU - @and-i-cant-resurrect-you 

Classic Novel Pride & Prejudice AU

Tagging those interested: @musicmandy1991 (tumblr won’t let me tag you????) @haveyouseenmymind @outside-the-government @tardisoftheshire @bookcaseninja @miraclesoflove @exiledtime @cynically-optomistic @frostedej

[mariajustinteriordesigns]

My Business During Corona + New Online Class - Coming Soon!

Hello friends, it’s so nice to sit here today with good tunes playing and my coffee nearby. I’m watching the ice rain (!) fall gently outside thinking, “Ok, the weather sucks, Corona is totally in “game-on” mode, so it’s the PERFECT time to improve a business and do what you’ve always wanted to do.”

Right? Oh yeah.

And this is exactly the truth. It’s time. There is no other time like the present, particularly with Corona, no vacations to plan or go on, no parties to attend or throw, holidays and birthdays are a bust, nothing to distract - you can’t even indulge in a little retail therapy… Yet there is a silver lining and it’s this: there is NO TIME LIKE NOW for figuring out what you want to be when you grow up or to level up your current business.

THERE IS NO DISTRACTION!

Yes, maybe the kids are homeschooling (my boy is only in school every other day for half a day), and you have a struggle getting time management down if you’re home with the children. I get that. I’m with you. Or perhaps you aren’t working as much and trying to make ends meet. Perhaps you ARE working but just damn sick of doing the same ole same ole. If that’s the case, maybe you have thought:

I SERIOUSLY NEED TO RUN A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS FROM HOME.

Well, have you thought that?

You can.

I’ve been working from home since 2005. No joke. I resigned from my corporate job, back then I was earning 75K a year as a project manager. I resigned and made $0 for the first 3 months. But I started my blog, decor8, and within a year, I was earning what I made in corporate, and by the second year, I was earning double that, and now it’s been 15 years working freelance, running primarily a home-based one-woman show, and I’m 100% certain I can sustain this until retirement and beyond. I will always be an entrepreneur.

Yes, there have been some minor (and a current major speed bump) along the way, but the major speed bump came after nearly 15 years during 2020. It took a GLOBAL PANDEMIC to disrupt me and my business. A pandemic.

If Corona hadn’t occurred, I’d still be running my business securely as I have been for 15 years which means that if I can do it, so can you. And after Corona, we all WILL if we get it together NOW. At the moment, I’ve decided to pivot a bit. I’m using this precious time to really think about what I love, what I miss, what I don’t miss, and what I need going forward to make me, and decor8, better.

Here is what I’ve decided so far:

1 / I need to make my business more digitally-focused (and fun!) again.

2 / I want to be in closer touch with my people (all of you) because it fuels my creativity and makes me happy.

3/ I will write my 5th book, a big coffee table book, part two of DECORATE.

4/ I must get back to teaching, online and in-person because I taught online from 2009-2018, and before that, part of my job in corporate was as a trainer for 7 years, so it’s just part of my DNA to teach.

5/ Create something from HOLLY magazine that makes me happy and has value to all of you.

6/ Eventually build something brand new that I’ve never done before to mix-in, just to keep me entertained and happy. Maybe a retail shop (yeah, I know - of all things).

7/ Once fairs start, attend only 4-5 each year vs. 10+

8/ Launch online classes again because they are the heart of my heart and always brought me the most light and happiness.

9/ Be less shy of video and start doing my own, more and more, evolving it into something greater.

10/ Not accept being called an Influencer anymore (especially by brands), cutting myself out of that market altogether, because I don’t like what it conveys. I don't want to influence or force anyone, I want to represent, guide, teach, be known as a tastemaker even… But not an influencer. I’m far beyond that in my career, with my experience, and at my age. I don’t want to dance or sing on TikTok.

So that’s my list.

What things have you decided for yourself and your business for 2021 and even, beyond?

And what is your list? Can you share it below?

Next, in line no. 8 above, I’m relaunching Blogging Your Way online classes under a new name: decor8 courses. Very simple and directly related to my brand. Blogging Your Way evolved throughout the years to include styling classes, photography lessons, Instagram training and so much more than traditional blogging. It makes sense to rebrand simply as decor8 courses because then I don’t have to stick to one topic.

I also decided to create a community around decor8 courses so that my students can always stay logged in months after the class is over and talk to each other, and receive regular drips of content from me. Students will also have lifetime access to the class, and when I update the class modules for future students, they get all of the updates for free because it’s included in their one-time payment when they originally enroll in the class.

This means I also dissolved bloggingyourway.com and I dropped WordPress where the class had been built by my husband, and drop the forum on that site that he had worked to develop over the years. It’s over and I’m fine with it and so is he. He left decor8 in 2018, he was a partner from 2009 until 2018, but he went his own way with his business and I went my way. He does a lot of work for interesting brands, like Skandinavisk, and I’m happy for him - because he is usually what he was trained in and what he’s best at for brands that need him. He’s an expert at extracting data and making sense of it and as a result, helping businesses to really grow and thrive. Working together indefinitely was never part of our plan, it just sorta happened based on the urgency of the moment. My classes were hugely popular and I needed help and he was here, he is technically gifted, and so he became the go-to for managing my teaching “platform”.

With him out of the business, I had to consider how to rebuild the classes because WordPress and multiple plug-ins and having regular conversations with plug-in developers, etc. just wasn’t my thing. I shopped around and found two sites that will make my teaching dreams come true again, but on platforms that I am able to maintain. I understand the technology and actually used to build websites back in the good old days of coding in HTML, but a lot of changed since then, and I haven’t kept up with site builds and maintenance in so long, and server management, etc. that I definitely had to find an easy solution for running the new class site.

When the next class goes live for enrollment, if you want to get your business back in shape, or make your current business stronger and better, you really need to invest in this class. I mean, it’s gonna be the bomb. It’s not much of an investment at $329, but for some of you, it may be… And this is why I kept the course price low - so everyone who wants in can get in and if you sign up for my mailing list, you can get it for $50 off the enrollment so it’s only $279 for you.

SUBSCRIBE FOR $50 OFF

It would be easy for me to charge over $1,000 for it, because the new class will be better than any I’ve ever taught online - fuller, richer, more dynamic, more guest experts, lifetime access, a lifetime community (and no, not a Facebook group!), and just better all around. But for $329 ($279 with the code) you can experience something quite fantastic and loaded with all the help that you need to take your blog, Instagram and newsletters to the next level because really, these are THE three core channels, the foundation, of any successful online business and that’s why I’m kicking off the new decor8 courses with a class dedicated to those topics.

SO my dear friends… that’s an update from my home office to you. Wishing you much love and support in these difficult times. I’m here for you (always) and once the class is live, I’ll let you know and you can enroll and then, we can be together for 5 weeks and ROCK YOUR BUSINESS.

Love,

Holly

Photos by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

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[twelvesignsrp]

congratulations nicky, pisces is now cleo fairchild with the faceclaim ashley moore

APPLICATION

  Character Sign: Pisces

  Character name: Cleo Fairchild

  Birthday: 1st of March 1997

  Sexuality: Asexual, Panromantic

  Gender: Female

  Moon Sign: Virgo

  Faceclaim: I’m going to stick with the suggested face claim of Ashley Moore.

  Power: Invisibility. In short, Cleo loves to escape. Although she is very tuned in to what’s going on in the real world, that doesn’t mean she always wants to be. Sometimes there’s too much chaos, too much drama. It’s exhausting. She likes to escape to her own world - to dream. Unfortunately in this case, she can hide but she can’t run. Though she can vanish into the shadows, she can never physically enter the realm that exists in her mind.

  What do they study? English Literature. She has a soft spot for old- and middle-English texts. The ones that read less like the English of today and more like they come from a whole other world. The ones that sing with the sound of scratching quills and the smell of old parchment leaves even when read aloud. The ones that make her shiver under the imaginary fall of misty evening air and the soft blush of an open fire on her skin. Dark days in an unknown universe, when anything was possible, and yet it seemed like so little was possible. What a small, strange way to live, and yet even then, stories were told. The evolution of language and storytelling lives in the very heart of humanity, reflecting our capacity to change and adapt, and all the while never lose our ability to dream.

  Biography:

For as long as Cleo can remember, she’s been a reader. She knows that she hasn’t always been a reader (she was, after all, a baby once), but she may as well have been. As a small child she would read anything she could get her hands on in the London flat in which she lived with her mother and father. It didn’t matter what it was. She’d read books, instruction manuals, old greetings cards… you name it, if she was able to get a hold of it, she’d read it whether she understood it or not. Her primary school teachers saw potential in her and encouraged her love of books and learning. She had a happy, albeit modest childhood, at least for the first eleven years.

Then came the summer before she was due to start secondary school. Her mother and father, recognising that they had an exceedingly bright child on their hands, had worked tirelessly with her so that she’d get the grades she needed to gain admission to a good grammar school, and she’d done it. Uniforms had been bought, tube routes had been studied meticulously, and Cleo was already dreaming about her new classes and her new friends.

Then her mother disappeared. Gone. Just like that. One fresh, warm 4am in July, she was spotted leaving her night shift at the hospital on CCTV, and then never came home. Cleo remembers waking up the following morning to the sound of voices in her living room, and her father sobbing, an untouched cup of tea in his shaking hands. A police lady took her into the kitchen and made her some cereal, and explained that they were all looking very hard to try and find her mum. They never found her.

Cleo wanted to disappear, too. She wanted to dissolve into thin air and leave behind the chaos and uncertainty. And, as it turned out, so did her father. Two years into her secondary school education, something changed in Cleo’s dad. His tears dried. A stony determination set in his eyes. He worked more and was home less. One day, she came home from school and he finally said it. He’d gotten a better job, and they were leaving London. It turned out that Cleo hadn’t been the only one who wanted to escape. The problem was, her dad’s solution felt more to Cleo like giving up than anything. Cleo had always secretly maintained that her mother would come home. She still twitched with every knock on the door and every soft sigh of a car pulling up below their living room window. If they left, she wouldn’t find them. Her father didn’t believe she was coming back.

Exeter was fine. It was an old city full of beautiful old buildings, and Cleo liked that. But she still half-existed in her old flat, imagining her mother’s face as she arrived home to find that they were gone. Four weeks after moving, Cleo missed the bus to her new school and ran away back to London by train. She didn’t spend long there. Her form teacher called her father and he knew exactly where she’d be. When Cleo arrived at her old block of flat, the police were already there waiting for her and they took her home.

Cleo grew older and, slowly, she had to start moving forward again or she was sure she would rot. She made friends, buried herself in school work, and even made Head Girl in her final year at school. With top A-Level grades in English Literature, Spanish, History and ICT, she was accepted into Durham university to study English Literature with the hopes of one day becoming a university lecturer herself. But still, she has never had closure, and her mind often wanders back to that balmy early morning on the steps outside St. Thomas’ Hospital. She knows she may never find out what happened, but she holds out hope.

  Five interesting facts about your character:

Cleo’s favourite book is her battered old copy of the Pearl Manuscript.

Cleo is a cat person through and through. Though she doesn’t own one, she’s the kind of person who will joyfully try to coax random cats on the street to come over to her. It gets her some odd looks from passers-by, but usually she’s too absorbed in trying to get the cat to pay attention to her to care.

She can’t play a musical instrument or sing to save her life, but she loves listening to music. Not a fan of pounding club anthems or guitar-heavy rock, she likes the simpler, more calming sounds of acoustic instruments, classical outfits, and soft, dreamy synths.

Sometimes, when she’s heading back to her room late at night and she doesn’t want to disturb people by turning on the lights in the hallway, she uses the function on her phone that allows her to flick it upwards to turn on the flashlight. If nobody else is with her, she likes to whisper “Lumos” before she does it so that she can feel like a wizard.

Cleo isn’t really into the party scene that seems to go hand in hand with university life. She can sometimes act a little high and mighty about it, as though she thinks she has ‘better things to do’, but in reality she feels desperately awkward among the huge crowds and loud music, and worries that this has isolated her from a lot of people who might find her dull.

  Character Quote:

And all these truths are sold With foundations below them that were dug in winter’s cold, When the world stole our young and prayed on the old. Well hope deals the hardest blows, Yet I cannot help myself but hope.

   -Foye Vance, “Two Shades of Hope”

  If your character had a patronus what would it be? and why?

A dove. Nothing dispels fear quite like a promise of coming renewal.

WRITING SAMPLE

It was half past six, and the low September sun cast a soft, golden light over the busy quadrangle, warming the immaculately-kept grass and the top of Cleo’s head.

Normally, around this time of the day, Cleo would be putting dinner on, knowing that her dad would be on his way home from work. That was how they did things at home. She got home from school before he finished work, so she started the dinner. He cleared up and did the dishes afterwards. Then they’d both have time in the evening, whether it was spent together or doing their own thing. They did everything like that - as a team.

Except now they were both on their own. He’d started the drive back down to Exeter the evening before, leaving Cleo to face Freshers’ Week - and her first lectures - alone. Obviously, it had to be that way. She couldn’t very well drag her dad to events and classes with her.

“But still,” she had joked as he climbed into his car and she planted a kiss on his cheek. “Who’ll make your dinner for you now?”

“And who’ll do your dishes?” he’d shot back, his warm, twinkly smile sending a small shock through her when it occurred to her that she wouldn’t see it again for a while. “I’ll ring you when I get home, okay? I love you.”

And then he was gone. And now it was half past six and soon her father would be getting in from work and starting to cook his first dinner alone, all the way down by the southern coast. She felt stupid for welling up at the thought of him coming home to their house by himself, of them both eating alone tonight with nobody to grill about their day, or tease with some silly inside joke, or-

She jumped slightly as her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and unlocked it, and couldn’t help but smile at the picture of the McDonald’s bag sitting in the passenger seat of her dad’s car.

I promise I’ll start cooking tomorrow night! - Dad x

ANYTHING ELSE?

My favourite colour is lavender.

Also I haven’t done a tumblr RP before, so I might seem a little bit lost at first and might float for a day or two trying to get my bearings and figure out how this all works. I’ve obviously familiarised myself with the material for this RP in particular, but I'm very clever with the format yet. If you’re looking for people with a bit more experience RPing on this platform, I totally understand and I will absolutely not be offended at my application being rejected. Thank you for your time!

[underopenskies]

Birthday Bash

((Got another little blurb of words for you. not so little though. 32,169 words. Lots of words. Been working on this with Fonty for… fuck, a long while now though. HAVE SOME CUTE. HAVE IT I SAY. Well. @fontsandsins and myself want you to have a whole oodle of cute.

Includes birthdays, awkward sex, lots of sex, and adorable skeletons. What’s not to love?)

Hamish had been excited for the last few days. The house construction was moving along nicely. The foundation was finished and the plumbing had been worked in and now work on the walls was starting.

The guys would still need Hamish’s help more on letting them know they were on the right track with what Hamish and Skylar needed to have done.  But they had promised that no matter what he would be able to see his little girl for her birthday. He had been packing his bag the day before to make sure he was ready.

It was a long drive and he planned to sleep through the afternoon so he would be able to leave in the early hours of the morning to make it out to Vera’s place on time.

He had driven out to town because the boys needed some extra building supplies and he said he would go to the hardware store to pick it up, as well as that he wanted to get his little girl a present and he had picked out something he was sure she would love. He wasn’t the best at wrapping presents- so far Skylar had been in charge of all the present wrapping- but he did his best, topping it with a little bow.

He loaded all his stuff up into the car, and then drew the curtains in the room to block out the light so he could try and get the best sleep possible.

His alarm rang out at 2AM. He rolled out of bed and got himself dressed, walking through the lounge and to his car, starting it up and pulling out and headed off on his way out to Vera’s farm. His chest swelled with excitement; he’d get to see his baby girl and his wife, he’d get to see if he could feel the boys, and spend a whole day with his family.

Skylar had wanted to stay down at Lola’s for as long as possible, but due to her rising health concerns, it wasn’t really possible. She ended up having to call it early. She wanted to stay until closer to twenty five weeks- so Hamish could at least get to feel the triplets moving- but it wasn’t happening.

A hair past eighteen weeks, Adam came to pick her up when she started to develop headaches and nausea from the constant dizziness. Her youngest brother loaded her and his niece up into the truck after giving Hamish a call to let him know that he was taking Skylar back to the house early, and then they were off.

They put her on the first floor instead of the second, where her room used to be, so she wouldn’t risk falling, and Vera dug out her old crib for Bella to sleep in once they got both Skylar and Bella settled in back at her birth home.

Greg was in and out to see her, but he was mostly over at Ronnie’s taking care of her and Nemesis and working on expanding their home- and for good reason. Five boys. To which, Skylar responded that it certainly beat out her three boys.

Vera had cried a little bit. Okay, a lot. The triplets were too amused by the similarity of the situation, and vowed to roughhouse Hamish the next chance they got.

For the most part, it was Tommy doting on his niece with his boyfriends popping in from time to time, and Adam going to help Greg over at Ronnie’s place. Thomas mostly stole her daughter, to be honest. He brought her up into the saddle with him, and Bella would go places with Uncle Tommy, when she wasn’t napping on Uncle Adam’s chest in the evenings and early mornings.

Liliya and Kodiak were surprisingly sweet though. Kodiak was a bit grumpy at first, but he warmed up to Skylar and seemed eager to help her out between bouts of fever that he seemed to be suffering with. Liliya, between worrying about her brother and scolding him for being reckless, would dote on Skylar as best she could.

Skylar rarely saw her uncles- including her even rarer but sometimes occasionally visiting Uncle Vladimir- but she got hugs and kisses to the cheeks whenever they saw her tucked into the couch.

Bella’s first birthday rolled around shortly after they got Skylar settled back at her birth home. Skylar hadn’t even been there two weeks- she was between nineteen and twenty weeks, though closer to twenty weeks than she was nineteen- when Bella’s first birthday rolled around. She wasn’t even allowed to do anything for it, either. They sent her outside with a lawn chair and a big beach umbrella to keep her blocked from the sun, and told her to nap or relax and rest while her mother and the rest of Skylar’s family got the decorations inside done.

Bella was napping on Adam, the larger man sprawled out in the grass just slightly in the shade of Skylar’s umbrella. He had one massive arm pooled under his head, with his niece sprawled across his chest and completely and utterly asleep. Adam was too, his hat tipped down over his eyes as his breathing deep and slow.

Skylar was settled onto her left side with plenty of water to drink, a pillow to rest her head on, and a book to read while she waited for Hamish to get there. She had an ice pack tucked under her skull, nursing a small headache that the small amounts of Tylenol wasn’t quite making go away. He was supposed to come up for his daughter’s first birthday- she just hoped he didn’t call and cancel- and that he remembered the way up to her Ma’s house without having to be reminded.

The wait was rough. Counting down the minutes until Hamish got there was ridiculously difficult at the best of times, and now was even worse. Bella didn’t even understand the significance of the day- but she would soon, when her daddy came to visit her. His visit in itself would be a gift enough- an added present would just be the icing on the cake.

Eventually while she waited, Skylar ended up dozing off in the chair. Bella ended up sneaking away from Adam to join her, curling around her belly and using the round swell for a pillow. She was exceptionally fond of doing that, even though she was still a little bit upset at Skylar for taking her away from her Daddy- and then again from her best friend.

Bella had cried at having to leave Alex too, and it had broke Skylar’s heart into teeny, tiny pieces. It was nice to see that she was slowly being forgiven, one small nap on the chair at a time.

Eventually Adam noticed, and he scooted further under the shade, and then sprawled put better, content to remain on baby guarding duty for if she wandered off too far for him to listen to and sense. Skylar didn’t need the stress.

The wait was rough. Counting down the minutes until Hamish got there was ridiculously difficult at the best of times, and now was even worse. Bella didn’t even understand the significance of the day- but she would soon, when her daddy came to visit her. His visit in itself would be a gift enough- an added present would just be the icing on the cake.

By 11AM Hamish finally pulled his truck up in Vera’s yard. He grinned widely at his wife and daughter curled up together for a nap. He could use a nap himself… or a really big coffee. He shut off his engine and pushed open the car door, closing it with a soft thud, his new truck was a lot quieter than his old truck whose engine practically wheezes with strain every time it was driven, in his new truck he was able to put up without waking his girls. He walked across the yard and over to Skylar, leaning down to press kisses against her face, cupping little Bella’s skull. He carefully lifted his sleeping daughter into his arms. “Baby. Bella wake up, daddy’s here.”

Skylar shifted in her sleep, and her brow furrowed a bit when she felt the weight disappear off of her belly. One of her eyes peeked open a crack and was blinded a little by the light, so she had to let it adjust before she could see who had her daughter.

Bella let out a sleepy noise, and her little hands lifted to rub her eyes. Soft pink eye lights were displayed as she opened them, and them, blinking slowly as she took in who was talking to her. It took her just a moment for her eyes to widen and her mouth to pop open, before she let off an ear-piercing shriek and latched onto Hamish’s neck. She butted her head against his chin, clinging to him. “DADA!” She cried happily.

That jerked Skylar awake fully. She sat up just a hair, ice pack falling from below her skull, and rubbed her face with a tired sound.

Adam on the ground, however, gave a full body flail and grunted as he startled. He curled his head back and up and blinked up at Hamish. “Oh. Hi. Welcome up t’ the house, Hamish.” He rumbles with light amusement. “Dang, Bella is loud. Bella, remember, ya Mama has a head owwie. Gotta be a little quieter.”

Obligingly, Bella’s shrieks dropped an octave or twelve. “Dada!” It did not mean she was any less excited, however.

Hamish cuddled his baby girl tightly in his arms. “Happy birthday, beautiful baby.” He grinned, smooching her cheeks. He cuddled her against him while he leant down to kiss Skylar. “How’re you doing beautiful?” He asked, rubbing one of her horns.

Bella pointed down to Skylar’s belly. “Bubba!” She said, her excited tone still in her voice.

Hamish smiled and nodded. He moved down and kissed Skylar’s belly. “Hi baby boy’s. You’re not making things too tough for mommy are you?”

Skylar’s belly looked smaller when she was curled on her side. Part of her couldn’t wait until he saw her when she stood up. At nearly twenty weeks, she was almost as big as she had been when she’d had Bella. Yeah, she’d been sending pictures- but it was different seeing it in person.

Skylar nuzzled her horn into his hand, sighing softly as she relaxed. She’d missed his touch. “I’m hangin’ in there.” She gives him a lopsided smile. “Bored out o’ my mind, but I don’t really have the energy-”

“Or the health,” Adam adds, giving his sister a pointed look as he rumbles softly. He’d been appointed on ‘Skylar sitting duty’ as well as Bella sitting duty while his brothers and mother prepared the house.

“That too,” Skylar continues with a roll of her eyes, “to be up ‘n about doin’ stuff.” Under Hamish’s lips, unbeknownst to Skylar, a tiny nudge would hit his mouth. She was so used to the feel of them moving and twitching, that she didn’t really register the harder nudge as the boys took in the voice they only ever heard over the phone. “Headache is doin’ better though, Adam, so ya don’t have t’ fuss over that. ‘S not as bad as this morning.” She nudges him lightly with her book, only to get a titanic snort from her little brother in response.

Hamish chuckles. “I think you’re incredible Skylar, even if you don’t have the energy you’d like to have. Look at you, there are three babies in here… and you’ve had to do most of this without me.” He smoothed his hand over the swell of her belly. “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He spoke softly.

Bella clung to her daddy. He wasn’t going anywhere this time… She wasn’t going to let him.

“I know.” She smiles slightly. “Ya the most amazing man I’ve ever met, too.” She sighs softly as his hand smoothes over her belly. Her middle shifts under his palm, and the baby along the side of her belly stretches out a tiny limb against his palm. She shifts and sits upright, before holding out her hand. “Can ya help me up, please? I want a hug, n’ a proper kiss, n’ I’m stuck.”

Adam snickers. “Been stuck since ya got here.”

Hamish’s eyes brighten feeling the small amount of movement under his hand before he moves to put Bella down so he is able to help his wife out of her chair. Bella stands near Adam, watching. Hamish takes hold of one of Skylar’s hands and wraps his other arm around her back to support her as he helps her up. Her belly makes it hard to hold her close like he wants to. “Holy shit Skylar.” He breaths, and then covers his mouth glancing at Bella whom just smiles up at her parents. He looks back down at Skylar’s belly in between them… it was huge.

Skylar was very nearly as large as she had been with Bella- and she’d been huge with Bella. Skylar gives Hamish a tired but lopsided smile, not even upset at his curse around their daughter. Her belly bumps his as she stands up, and she teeters for a moment as she gains her balance. Once she’s good to go, Skylar turns her belly to the side, and cuddles into his chest. “Mhm. I’m a whale- and I ain’t even twenty weeks yet. Looks smaller in th’ photos, doesn’t it?”

She runs her hand over her bump. She was back in her maternity clothes she wore towards the end of carrying Bella. Soon, she’d have to go shopping for bigger clothes. “Gonna have t’ get even bigger maternity wear here soon.”

Hamish nuzzled his face against Skylar’s and laughed. “It’s crazy. God you’re so beautiful though.” He cuddled and smooched on Skylar the best he could with her belly trying to push between them.

Skylar cuddled him back and met each of his kisses tenderly. “Ya think so now,” she laughs, “Just wait until I reach ‘grotesque’ sizes, accordin’ t’ some folks online. M’ already getting’ stretch marks.” She chuckles softly. “M’ gonna be massive. M’ gonna be on strict bed rest in a couple o’ weeks.”

Hamish looked up at Adam. “You boys gotta swear to me you’re going to take absolute care of her. If something happened to her or the boys…" His voice trailed off and he turned back to Skylar, resting his head against hers.

Adam nods from his position as he straightens and stands up. “Yup. Sis took care o’ us for years- now it’s our turn t’ take care o’ her and make sure she’s got all th’ care she needs while she’s cookin’ our nephews.”

Skylar chuckles softly. “M’ gonna go stir-crazy before the boys let somethin’ happen to me.”

Hamish nodded his approval. Bella still stood at their feet making Hamish grinned. He made sure Skylar was balanced before squatting down to his daughters height. “Daddy has a present for you~” He cooed, making Bella jump about in excitement. “It’s over in daddy’s car, should we go see it?”

Bella’s squeals of excitement made his soul swell with joy. He made sure Skylar was okay before walking over to the truck with Bella trailing behind him. He pulled the tarp back releasing a large crudely wrapped box.

He lifted it and carried it back over to Skylar and Adam, Bella bouncing at his heels, he placed the box on the ground and moved back to stand with Skylar while Bella tugged at the paper.

She had already experienced a Christmas, she knew what colorful paper with bows meant; there where toys and surprises inside. She pulled the paper off the box that was bigger then herself, and then looked at it, tilting her head to the side. It was a blank white box.

Hamish laughed and opened one end of the box for her. Bella squatted down and looked inside. “Do you know what that is?” Hamish asked.

Bella blinked. She had no idea.

Hamish reached into the box and pulled out a little bike tire and laid it on the ground, and then he pulled out a set of training wheels and a handlebar. “Uncle Adam might have to help daddy put it together for you.”

Bella looked at the different parts, she was still confused.

Skylar waddled over to the box and peered down at it as Hamish began to unpack parts. Adam shadowed her like a giant bodyguard, and he too looked down with her.

Both of them broke into faint laughter. Skylar spoke first though. “Oh goodness. Ya god her a bike? She’s gonna have lots o’ run with that, Haz.” She smiled.

“I’ll help ya put it together.” Adam chuckled softly.

Bella looked up at Skylar her lips pushed into a pout. She didn’t understand the present. Was it broken? To her it just looked like a mess of parts, nothing she thought was very interesting. Hamish rubbed her skull as he tipped the rest of the parts out.

Skylar couldn’t crouch down to Bella anymore, but she did reach down and pet her skull gently. “I love ya, Bella. Ya gonna have fun with this once Daddy gets it together for you.” She chuckles. “Or…” She glances at Adam. “Ya mind putting it together?”

“Sure, sis.” Adam nods. “Ya take some time with your husband and your baby girl, mkay? Go inside n’ cool off. Maybe get Hamish t’ give ya a foot rub or something, hell I don’t care. I got this though.”

Hamish lifted Bella into his arms and wrapped his arms around Skylar, helping her back into the house. He smiled. “Hello, Vera.” Hamish greeted walking inside.

Vera was up on Greg’s shoulders, the shortest woman hanging decorations from the ceiling while her middle son yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly, one large hand holding her ankles. “Hlllloo, Hhhhmmsh.” She said, her mouth currently occupied by a string holding a half crinkled sign. She worked on fixing something with her hands, and then spat the string out and attached it to the pins. “Ah- Tommy, no. A little higher on your end, baby boy. Little high- no. No, down. Yes- no- stop! There. Perfect. Pin it there.” Shrewd eyes eyed the line of the banner from the side, and then glanced down to Skylar expectantly.

“Looks good, Ma.” Skylar gives her a thumbs up, a little winded from the front stairs. The sign read ‘happy birthday!’ In big, bold letters. It had been used for years. Every milestone birthday they’d had, they’d used it.

“Good.” Vera nods. She adjusts her glasses, and then peers down at her daughter. “You’re supposed t’ be off o’ ya feet and relaxing.” She scolds. “Walking with ya man ain’t either o’ those.”

“Maaa,” Skylar huffs. “I’m fine. Gonna go spend some time with Haz n’ Bella while y'all work on the house.”

“Good.” Tommy nods. “See if Ya can get him t’ rub ya feet. They’re all swollen.”

“Not the only thing that’s swollen.” Skylar mutters. Her breasts hadn’t gotten a break from nursing Bella before her milk came right back in with full force. They were swollen and tender and she’d had to put an extension on her bra in order to make it fit. No way she was going bra shopping with her brothers. Nope. Not happening. “We’ll see.”

Hamish chuckled and walked with Skylar to the room she was using, he helped her down on to the bed and sat down with her, letting Bella down onto the bed, she stood herself up and bounced on the bed while Hamish helped Skylar lay down and prop her feet up, taking her shoes off for her. He swallowed, his cheeks heating slightly. “Did you want that foot rub?” He asked.

“Only if ya think ya can without getting a not so little problem. Unfortunately, as much as I’d really, really love t’ tease ya and ride ya… It would be bad.” She gently propped her foot in his lap, and gave him a teasing smirk. As she shifted, carefully settling on her back and propping herself up on pillows. Once she was in position, she found her belly draped on by Bella.

The toddler pressed kisses to the surface of her belly, and blew raspberries on her middle. It prompted a spur of movement. She popped her mouth open in shock. “I feel baba?” She turned her eyes to Hamish. “Dada! I feel baba!”

Hamish laughed at his daughter until her exclamation. “Show me, baby girl.” He said, reaching his hand out and placing it on Skylar’s belly. Bella blew another raspberry causing the little bodies inside to shift and press out against Hamish’s palm. “Hey boys.” He cooed.

Bella giggled and wrapped her arms around Skylar’s belly. Hamish beamed and kissed Skylar’s belly, before sitting back and pressing his thumb against the bottom of her feet, rubbing them in circles.

The thumb against the bottom of her foot made her groan. Skylar’s toes spread, and she groaned softly. Her body relaxed as Bella cuddled her belly, and she sighed softly. “Mmm… Ever heard the phrase, 'hurts so good’? Cause that’s that’s what I’m feelin’ right now.” She sighed contently. “Mmm…” Her poor bones were tight, the flesh between them swollen and sore. They were still soft, however, and her toes stroked his arms gently as he rubbed.

Hamish chuckled and pressed his fingers hand against the bottom of her foot, trying to stay focused on watching this daughter snuggling against Skylar’s belly to keep his 'not so little friend’ from trying to make an appearance.

Hamish’s not so little friend would be taken care of if it made an appearance. They would just have to be… Sneaky with it. It had been a while since his wife had pleasured him, after all- even if she couldn’t, it didn’t mean he shouldn’t.

Bella curled up in Skylar’s arms, half on her belly half on her chest, and she cuddled her head to her chest as she relaxed. “So how’s the house goin’?” Skylar asks as she trails her fingers gently over Bella’s horns. The little girl seems to finally relax for the first time in forever with both her Mama and her Daddy there to be with her. She was happy.

Hamish cleared his throat. “We’ve put the plumbing in, it just needs to be connected up one we install the bathrooms, the foundation is finished and they’re putting the walls up on the outside today, so by the time I need to go back we will have to finish the walls, add the insulation then put the plaster on the walls and put the floors in and do upstairs as well, then we will put the roof on, add carpets then make everything pretty.” Bella tipped her head slightly. “Dada stay.” She said sounding demanding. Hamish frowned. “Daddy has to go back for a little bit more it’s almost finished.”

“How much longer do ya think it’ll take before it’s fully done n’ Bella and I can come home?” Skylar asks curiously. She gently rubs Bella’s horns. “We Gotta stay at Grams a bit more Baby girl.”

“Gama.” Bella puffs her cheeks, and then looks at Hamish. “Dada stay Gama’s oo? Pease?” She gives him big round puppy eyes.

“I have to go back one more time, baby. Then I will stay with you. You need to be a big girl for daddy okay?” He said hopefully he could get her to understand so saying goodbye wouldn’t be as hard on her this time, at least this time it would be slightly easier, if Bella didn’t want him to leave he would just wait for her to have a nap so she wouldn’t have to know he left until she woke up. However he’d rather avoid breaking her heart again.

Bella pouted at him. “Dada no go.” She says stubbornly, and wiggles away from Skylar. She hops off the bed and toddles to the door. She shoves it closed with her little hands and horns, and then sits against it, glaring at him defiantly. “Dada stay.”

Skylar snorts. “Best just t’ drop it and appease her for now, sugar. She’s got my stubborn streak, and ya now her 'hostage’. So… Once they get all o’ that done, ya get t’ come stay with us while they finish the last of the finishing touches?”

He watched Bella slip of the bed and flinched slightly when she slammed the door. “Okay baby, daddy isn’t going anywhere.” He chuckled. He turned back to Skylar. “Yup, they’re going to do the windows and curtains, and they will move all our old furniture back in then we can work out how we want to decorate the other rooms on our own.” He explained.

She nods, and watches Bella give a happy sound by the door. Bella doesn’t move though, wanting to make sure that her Daddy gets the message. Skylar hums. “So we’ll get t’ go home once the house is decorated then.” It would take a while to order new furniture and get it all shipped in. Skylar sighs softly. “Think I’ll get t’ have a couple weeks home before we have the boys? Or do you think we’ll end up having them here?” She hums lightly. When her foot feels better, she changed them over and gave him the other one to rub. She lightly tugged up her shirt as they talked, displaying new stretch marks from how fast she had been growing, and lightly poked where one of the boys was kicking.

Hamish nodded watching Skylar, he swallowed a lump in his throats his face flushing more before he shook his head. “Huh? Oh uh…whatever you feel is going to bed for you and the babies.” He rubbed her foot. “I just want you to be safe, Sky.”

Ah, her darling husband and his pregnancy kink. This must have been killing him, to be able to look but not touch. Skylar teasingly rubbed her hand along her belly, tracing the curve of it up and along her bellybutton. “I’d feel safest at home, with you and Bella and Elaine there. But… I suppose here wouldn’t be bad so long as I have ya with me.” She murmurs softly, fingers twitching as Baby A kicks at the bottom of her belly. “We need names, y'know.”

“Ava and I have been tossing names back and forth. I like Peter.” He suggested. He bit his tongue between his teeth gently, watching Skylar’s hand on her belly.

“Peter, hm?” She smiles. “I like that. What about Peter for our youngest boy? And… Charles maybe? 'N… Since we’re on that line o’ thinking… Samuel?” They were all dignified names for their boys. Skylar swirled her finger gently around her bellybutton, before dipping down to cup the bottom of her belly. She gives it a gentle rub, and works her way back around and up towards the top, massaging as she goes. The boys shifted and squirmed with small visible kicks, stirred into action by their voices and her touch. Her eyes glimmer at him, half lidded as she watches him and waits. How long could he hold out before he couldn’t take it any longer? Before he had to crawl up and snuggle her belly himself? She was such a tease.

Hamish’s eyes flicked over the shape of Skylar’s belly, watching each little movement. But still he rubbed her foot, he would keep going until she said he could stop. As much as he wanted to snuggle up to her.

She could see his desire to scoot up to her, but he still loyally remained down, rubbing her foot. She gave a soft chuckle. “Come here, sugar.” She moved her foot away from him. “I’ve teased ya long enough. I don’t even think ya heard the names I suggested, ya were so focused on my hand and belly. C'mere.”

Hamish crawled up, leaning over her to press loving kisses to her lips loving on her the best he could with their limitations. Bella sat on the floor her wide eyes watching her parents.

Skylar had her eye on Bella between kisses as Hamish loved on her. She lightly tapped his shoulder, and flushed faintly, having met everyone one kf his kisses with the gusto of a starving man faced with food. “We have a watcher.” She says lightly, to keep him from going too far. Or herself. She could feel her hand wanting to stray to the zipper of his pants. Damn her hormones. She really wanted him to be buried deep inside of her, and to just let him pound her good and hard. But… It would probably be a bad idea. “Ya wanna come cuddle, baby girl?” She asks Bella gently, offering her arm to help her daughter up onto the bed. She could loft her with one arm. Wasn’t supposed to, but she was lifting with her arm, not her back, so it was technically cheating the system.

Hamish flushed moving back slightly as Bella came up to snuggle with them, crawling around Skylar carefully before jumping on to Hamish, he grunted and lifted her to keep little feet from crushing his gems.

Skylar got kicked in the thigh, and grunted slightly. “Ah, ouch, Bella. Careful, sweetie. Babies are fragile- ya cant be jumpin’ around where ya can fall on them, mkay?” She could take gentle flipping, but an accidental head dive from her tiny horns would be bad news.

Hamish moved Bella over so he was in the middle between her and Skylar. Bella rolled up into Hamish’s chestm snuggling against him. “Dada look.” She said sitting up and pointing her horns at him. Hamish chuckled and pressed his thumbs against her horns. “They’re getting so big.”

“They are. They’re growin’ fast, just like with her.” Skylar smiles softly, and rolls just a tad so she’s sort of on her side. She was losing feeling in her legs with being on her back like that. “I wish ya could have seen my Da’s horns, Haz. His horns were huge… He was huge too. He’d have loved her.” She smooches Hamish, and then Bella, before curling up to watch him cuddle his little girl. “He n’ I were a lot like Bella 'n you.”

Hamish looked over at Skylar and smiled. He rubbed Bella’s back while they laid together. “How much do you remember of your dad?” He asked.

“Everything.” Skylar answers softly. “He died when I was sixteen. I remember everything. I remember him playing with me in the living room, getting on his hands n’ knees and letting me butt my horns against his when I was no taller than his kneecap. I remember sitting on his shoulders, using his horns for handlebars and dripping ice cream onto his hat. I remember him putting me in the saddle with him- I remember him picking me up by my belt the first time I got tossed off a horse and setting me right back in my saddle. I remember him carrying me in his arms all the way from the store to the hospital the first time I got stung and we learned about my allergy- he was so scared that he was gonna lose me that he cried, and refused t’ leave me.” Skylar murmurs softly.

“I remember arguing with him when I got older. He and I would lock horns, sometimes in the literal sense. I had a temper in my youth, you see- I was techier than Adam. I remember curling up in his lap after we made up. I remember family dinner- he’d a grin at me, n’ string a spaghetti noodle from one nostril out the other, and make Ma choke on her water.” Skylar shifts and peers up at Hamish. “I remember when the triplets were born. He could hold all three o’ them in one o’ his hands. He was so gentle… So kind… I remember him bringing the boys home, and his joy when they started to walk and talk. I remember him letting them butt their heads against his, just like he did for me… Teaching them how to ride…” She sighs. “My last memory isn’t my favorite. I remember a lot, Hamish. Some o’ it I wish I could forget.” Like seeing her dad, trampled and dead… She wanted to un-see that. No amount of therapy could undo that.

Hamish felt his arms tighten around Bella slightly as Skylar talked. Bella looked up at her Momma, her little hands clinging to Hamish’s shirt. Hamish shifted and cupped Skylar’s cheek. “Babe.” He said softly, tipping his head to rest it against hers.

“Ya asked.” She said softly, leaning her cheek into his touch as she pressed her skull to his. Her horns cradled his skull gently, and she cuddled Bella tenderly as her daughter looked up at her. “Ya asked, and I answered. That’s most o’ the big things that I remember. There’s lots more, but I cant recall them right off the top o’ my head. Daughters remember a lot, Haz. We remember a lot. It might be something little and insignificant t’ you, but it might mean the world t’ her, and leave an impression t’ last a lifetime.”

Hamish rubbed his thumb against Skylar’s cheek. “I really wish I could have met him, asked for him approval.. and actually get it.” He looked down at Bella. “I wish he could have met her, that my parents could have met her. My mom and dad would have been so proud.”

“I wish I could have gotten t’ meet your parents too. I hope they’d have liked me.” She murmurs softly. “I wish they all were still here. Da would have been so excited… He’d have liked ya. He’d have liked ya a lot. I know it. And he’d have adored Bella.” She smiles softly. “Doctor Tenne is the closest thing I’ve got t’ a Da now. He’s a good man too.”

Hamish turned his head. “Doctor Tenne?” He asked, sitting up. “He’s that really tall guy right, the one that… I think has a thing for your mom… He was at our wedding… I never really got to talk to him… Skylar, if he’s like your dad… W-why didn’t you- I could have…” He looked down at his wedding ring. “I know it’s really old fashioned… but I was always taught that if I wanted to marry a girl, I had to ask for her fathers blessing. I love you so much Sky, I-” He laughed. “I don’t know if they told you… but I actually rounded up your brothers and asked them for their blessing… if I had know Tenne was like a father to you…I would have asked him.”

“Yup.” She nods. “He’s easing Ma back into dating. He checks in on me every so often too. He has his tricks for getting around.” She chuckles. When Hamish sits up, she glances up at him and hums. “I didn’t know ya asked my brothers.” She admits quietly. “I was raised t’ expect it- but my expectations changed when my Da died.” She explains gently. “I love Tenne- he’s been there for us when we needed him t’ be.” Mostly when she needed him to be. “But… I didn’t tell ya about him because I honestly didn’t expect ya t’ ask for my Da’s permission. Because… Well…” Her Da had died. Even if Tenne was like her father, he wasn’t her Da- there was no replacing the big, lovable bull monster in her heart. Asking another to stand in for a father’s blessing… If one were to do it, it would be Tenne. But… She wasn’t sure she could have asked him. Losing her Dad was rough on her.

It was clear that she had been to her dad what Bella was with Hamish. And losing him… It had changed Skylar. She had stepped in to fill her dad’s shoes, taken over the ranch and stepped up to guide her brothers along the path of life while supporting her mother in her sorrow. That much forced a girl to mature quickly.

“I just… Dunno if I could have had someone other than my Da do it, no matter how much I love Tenne like a father.” She murmurs finally.

Hamish’s brows push together, leant down and rested his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry, beautiful.” Bella looked between her parents, they didn’t seem happy her mommy cried a lot recently and little Bella didn’t understand why her parents seemed so sad sometimes. “Mama” She said, reaching her little hand up, Hamish smiled at their little girl, he laid back down by Skylar’s side, their daughter laid across Hamish’s chest. “Mama okay?” She asked.

“Mama’s okay.” Skylar reached out and brushed her fingers gently over Bella’s back. Bella had a habit of asking her that, ever since she’d broken down in helpless sobs over a sad scene in a children’s movie that she and Alex had been watching with Skylar. “The babies just make Mama a little more emotional. I’ll be okay though, I promise.” She smiles softly for Bella. “And Haz? It’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it. ’S been a long time, n’ I’ve been able t’ do it without bursting into tears for several years now.” She smooches him gently. “It’s all okay.”

Hamish sat Bella at his side so he could roll over, being as gentle he could as he wrapped his arms around Skylar, pressing his face against her neck, Bella peered over Hamish at her parents, she liked it when they cuddled and kissed now, they where always happy when they did that. Hamish was quiet for a moment before he made a small noise. "Your boobs are huge.” He mumbled.

Skylar was enjoying the cuddles as he pressed his face into her neck. It was comfortable and almost refreshing to get to feel him so close. However… She had to snort at his mumbled words. “Yup. Milk came back in about a week before I came here. Woke up one morning, 'n bam! Boobs were huge. Sore too. Sorta wish they were smaller.” She snuggled him contently. “Or at least that ya could play with them and let off some o’ the pressure.” She teased quietly so their lurking daughter couldn’t hear her words.

His mouth turned up into a smile. “It’s still too risky for even a little bit of fun?” He asked, a small bit of hope in his voice.

Bella had rolled off Hamish and was now lying beside him, sticking her legs up into the air, when she pointed her toes it looked like she was standing on the ceiling. She giggled, amusing herself while her parents talked.

“For me… Probably. But… I wouldn’t mind getting t’ tease you until ya…” Her eyes dart to Bella, and her mouth curls into a smirk. “Well… There’s lots o’ things I want t’ do. Trust me. My libido has been at an all time high, n’ I haven’t been able t’ sate it. I’m sure you’ve enjoyed some o’ the pictures I’ve sent ya.” She trails her fingers gently up from his neck to his chin, stroking him warmly. “I want to… Maybe we can, if we’re gentle. But, we do have a guest in the room with us right now.”

Hamish grinned. “Well, we have all night beautiful~” He purred.

Bella moved her legs back and forth in a walking movement, watching her feet. “Bop, boop, beep.” She babbled to herself.

Hamish shifted to look over at her, his hand moving over the curve of Skylar’s belly.

“True that.” Skylar couldn’t see Bella over Hamish’s broad shoulders, so she was denied the cute sight of their daughter doing adorable things. One of the triplets- Baby C- kicked out hard under his palm. Of course, hard for something that small wasn’t very big, but it sure felt big compared to the usual kicks and squirms. Skylar grunted softly. “That was a big one. Lil’ jumping jellybeans.” She cooed softly. “But yeah. We have all night. Bella sleeps through th’ night now, so we shouldn’t be disturbed.” Bella even had her own room- just down the hall. The toddler had picked it out herself, proudly proclaiming it hers and making Vera laugh before having the boys assemble all of Bella’s things in the room.

He looked over at Bella. “She’s growing up too fast…I love how big she’s getting…but I also want her to be little again.” He laid back, turning to watch her, as she moved her legs then began reaching up with her arms looking at her fingers. “Mama, Dada, Bella, Nana, Adn, Tummy, Reg, Cardn, Loln, Al.” She said to herself as she wiggled each finger.

“She’s learning names.” She smiles softly. Skylar rolls over fully and presses her belly against the curve of his back as she cuddles to his back. She peeks over his shoulder. “She’s gonna get bigger… But ya gonna have three more little ones that are gonna be teeny and tiny for s long while again.” She smooches the back of his neck. “Aren’t ya forgetting Liliya and Kodiak, Baby girl? Lili and Kodi love you lots too.” She coos softly to her.

Bella tips her head to the side and looks at Skylar. “Mama, Dada, Bella, Koie, Lili, Adn, Tummy, Reg, Nana, Papa!” She said happily.

Hamish’s brows pushed together and he looked down at Bella. “Papa?” He asked.

Bella nodded, and then got up, crawling to the edge of the bed. She slipped down onto the floor and let herself out of the bedroom. Hamish sat in silence until Bella returned with a picture frame.

“Bella, baby maybe you shouldn’t carry Nanas photos.” He said.

She ignored him and passed it to Skylar, it was a photo of Skylar and her parents when she was a little older than Bella. Bella pointed to the picture. “Mama, Nana, Papa.”

Hamish let out a small laugh. “Vera must be showing her all the photos of the family.”

Bella really was a mini clone of Skylar. She was only missing the shape to her mouth, teeth, and freckles- but she was a clone. Little Skylar was eerily like Bella in the photo, clinging happily t her father’s massive hand. At eight foot four, Terence had been a beast among beasts, not to mention a horn width of nearly four foot. He had been massive. Skylar had his mouth, and his horns, and her mothers body type and freckles. She was a happy baby in the photo.

Skylar smiled softly, and traced her fingers over the reddish fur covering her father. She could still remember how he smelled. “Yeah, baby girl. That’s your Papa. One day, I’ll take ya out t’ meet him again.” She murmurs gently to her. “Ma’s been showing her all o’ our old photos. She even showed her my square dancing and line dancing photos. Bella loved my dress.”

Hamish laughed watching Bella stand herself up to jump on the bed, he kept an eye on her making sure she didn’t fall onto Skylar.

Skylar kept her eye on Bella, and made sure she wasn’t going to fall. Sky smiled faintly, and poked Bella’s little belly. “Are ya happy, baby girl?”

“Yuh!” She beamed.

“I wonder how uncle Adam is doing with your bike.” He mused, watching Bella flop onto her bum, she lowered her horns at Hamish and pressed her head against his side making him snort and shift to get his hand between her head and his side pushing against her little horns with his palm.

“Probably close to done.” Skylar grins mischievously and then tickles her fingers into his opposite side, since Bella was hot after his other side. Skylar giggled lightly.

Bella gave a giggle, and a playful snort, and then bounced her head against his palm playfully, head butting him roughly as she played with him. “Dada!”

Hamish let out a laugh at he squirmed trying to keep his daughter for nailing him in the side while also trying to avoid his wife’s fingers.

“Bella~” Skylar coos, blue eyes gleaming with loving humor. “Daddy’s ticklish. Wanna tickle Daddy?”

Her eyes lit up, and then pudgy arms reached past his hands. Uncoordinated fingers flailed at his ribs, trying to tickle Hamish just like her mischievous Mama was doing. "Dada!” She beamed, enjoying her daddy’s laugh.

Hamish laughed and rolled over, scooping her up then pinning her to the bed, pushing her little shirt up and leaning down to blow a loud fart on her belly, Bella squealed and giggled, wriggling to get away from her daddy.

Skylar couldn’t help but laugh as Bella got the brunt of the attack, and she had to calm her giggles lest her bladder have a leak. She pressed her legs together until she was under control again, and then chuckled as Bella squealed under his onslaught.

Skylar ended up a little winded by it all, and lay panting, a bit tired as she watched happily.

Hamish sat up. He cuddled Bella against him. “I missed you two, so much.” Hearing her uncles walking around the house Bella laughed and slipped off the bed and pulled the door open running off to charge them. Hamish rolled over against Skylar and laughed.

Skylar laughed, and heard Greg yelp as his shin got rammed, and Thomas laughing at his misery. She rolled over and cuddled into Hamish, content to cling to him while the boys handled her daughter. They loved spending time with her, and she with them. “We’ve missed ya too.” She smiles. “I missed ya a whole lot… Mmm… It feels good t’ have ya here in my arms.” She purrs.

Hamish hummed in agreement then moved to lean over Skylar again, he was going to take advantage of the most likely very brief moment of privacy that they had. He leant down and pressed his lips over Skylar’s, pressing his body as close to hers as he could without putting his weight on her.

She looped her arms up behind his neck, and tugged him down to where she was comfortable with him resting against her. She enjoyed his weight on her, but she could only have a little bit on her right now. Pressure on her belly wasn’t pleasant, and made her ache. Skylar’s mouth worked against his, lip prongs gently massaging his as her teeth nipped his lips gently. With the position, she was mostly on her side and he could press quite close with her belly out to the side and her breasts also spread out in front of her. Oh how she’d love to wrap her legs around him and pull flush to him. But she couldn’t fit facing him anymore. Little spoon, yes she could. And she intended to be a little spoon that night.

He mumbled and soft noise in the back of his throat and pressed his hips against her bum, his eyes fluttering closed and he rubbed himself against her slightly.

Skylar shifted and wiggled back against him with a teasing sound. Her backside rocked into his member, and her hand snaked back to stroke him boldly through his pants. “Mmm…”

“Fff~” he let out a long breath though this nose and rocked against her hand, he had been so patient, all the teasing photos that had worked him up but his hand wasn’t truly enough to fully satisfy him, he needed his wife, her warmth, smell and voice. His face was flushed and his member throbbed and hardened against the fabric of his pants.

She shifted, and her hand slid up to his zipper. She undid it and his button, unfolding his fly as she rocked against him and felt him hardening against her. She wiggled her hands against his underpants, and then wiggled into his pants to stroke him with her fingers.

He wrapped his arms around her pressing kisses against her neck.  He rutted against her fingers, his breathing becoming deep and rapid, soft moans slipping past his lips.

Skylar stroked him from his base to his tip and then back again, fondling his balls as best she could with her limited motion. She felt herself growing warm, and knew this was a hell of a tease for her too. She rocked back against him, and murmured his name in soft, breathy gasps that she knew would spur him on something fierce. Her hand massaged his length and worked him over firmly.

His soul thrummed in his chest, hearing his name leaving her lips pushed him to the edge, he just needed a little bit more and he would be pushed over.

Her leg reached back, bare feet sliding up along his shins. Her toes stroked over him. She didn’t have socks on, no, but she knew he’d be thinking of all of those pictures that she had sent him to enjoy. She stroked his cock firmly, and teased his slit with the tip of her finger. “Come for me, Hamish,” she purrs, voice low and quiet so no one but him hears her. “Come for me, sugar.” She rocked against him as she stroked her toes up his leg again.

Hamish pressed his face against her and came into her hand, his body tensing up slightly before his whole body relaxed with relief. He had needed that.

Into her hand and all over the back of her pants and shirt when she failed to catch all of the splatter. Well, at least she had clothes to change into. Skylar gave a soft chuckle, and glanced over her shoulder to look at him. “Feel better, sweetheart?” She coos softly, fingers still stroking him gently as he relaxed and softened in her hand.

Hamish took in long deep breaths and nodded, he kissed the back of her neck. “So much better.” He whispered.

“Good,” she purred, and drew her hand back around. She cleaned it on her pants. “Ya needed it. I’ve teased ya often enough while ya were away. Pictures are no substitute for the real thing, are they?” She hums softly. “Mm, I need t’ change clothes before I get it all over the bedding, Haz. I don’t do the laundry now, after all.” Vera would tie her to a chair if she tried.

Hamish sat up, tucking himself back into his pants properly then moved to help Skylar up. “Do you need any help?” He asked, his cheeks still flushed.

Once she was upright, Skylar gave him a lopsided smile. “Well… I’m not gonna turn down help if ya want t’ help me. But… Door first.” They’d done all of that with the door open. Of course, no one was on that end of the house, but still. Wild.

Skylar shut the door, and then grinned to him as she carefully stripped off her soiled shirt. “Pants are harder.” She couldn’t bend down to grab them anymore, so she usually had to have Vera help her. The boys too, on one very, very awkward trip to the bathroom that Adam will never forget.

Skylar’s bra was overflowing a bit, her breasts pillowing out the top like plush toys. She gives him a slow smirk. “… Did ya want a peek~?” She toyed coyly with the strap on her bra.

He swallowed a think lump in his throat and nodded. Even just seeing her like this, belly exposed and breasts threatening to break her bra was enough to get a happy throb from his spent cock.

Skylar smiled slightly, and reached behind her to undo her bra. As soon as the clasps came undone, the cups drooped heavily downwards. Her breasts were still perky, but weighted heavily down by the milk inside that she couldn’t express by any other means besides manually, since it didn’t use nipple stimulation. She freed them, and they came to rest lightly on the top of her belly. She trailed her fingers from her belly up to her breasts, and stroked her fingers lightly over them, careful with the sensitive mounds. “Like what you see?” She purrs.

“Fuck yes.” He breathed, struggling to hold himself back from kissing and sucking those breasts that looked like they wanted to explode. He dug his fingers into the material of his pants to keep himself from reaching out to squeeze her breasts.

“Ya know Haz,” She purrs, watching him struggle with self-control, “if you’re real gentle with me… Ya can come touch me. Maybe even kiss a lil’ bit.” She hefts the weight of one of her breasts teasingly, and then a strips her pants off. They slide to the floor, leaving her in just her panties. Her very damp panties. Heck, she wanted him to bury himself in her to the hilt. She wanted to feel him deep inside of her- God did she want that.

Hamish felt his legs go weak, his cheeks felt like they where on fire. He lifted his hand and extremely gently placed them on her breasts.

She guided his hands, and let him heft the weight of her breasts into his palms. His thumbs could brush agaibst her nipples, the dark blue buds warm and darn near beading with a lighter glowing blue liquid. Skylar smiled, and wiggled her brows up to him. “Don’t be shy now. They’re all yours too.”

He let his head rest against hers and he rolled his palm against them. “They’re so heavy.” He breathed, he kissed her chest and moved down to kiss her nipples making sure not to be too rough.

“Very heavy,” she breathes with him, “heavy and full… Mmm…” As his mouth gently kisses her, she finds her body relaxing a hair. Gosh, she missed that.

“You’re so beautiful.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over her breasts and stomachs taking in the view of his wife’s body.

“Well, I’m glad ya think so.” She purrs, giving him a loving and tender look as she sighs softly under his touch. It was a pleasant torment, really. “Mmm… If only I could… I’d have ya bend me over and fill me full until we were both sated.” Her eyes glinted at him with warm amusement.

His eyes closed and he rested his head against Skylar, groaning slightly. “Shit Skylar. You fucking tease.” He let out a soft laugh. “I hate to see all this get hidden away, but lets get some cloths on you before your brothers bust in.” He kept his hands on Skylar to help her balance as his wife picked out something to wear, he turned his head towards the door, he could hear Bella and the boys and sometimes Vera’s voice.

“I’m only a tease for you.” She grins. She does choose an outfit though and slip into it with Hamish’s help. Buttoning her pants is a task in and of itself. Then the soiled clothes are tossed into the hamper to be washed later. “I can hear them. Probably best not t’ get ya too riled up. That’s what tonight is for.” She winks.

As if on queue the moment Skylar gets her pants done up Bella bursts into the room. “MAMA, DADA COME!” She shouts excitedly, bouncing in place until her parents followed her out of the room and to the front door. She pushed it open with her horns then points at the assembled bike.

Hamish laughed and lifts his little girl up. “Do you love it?” He asked. He got a happy little nod as a reply. He carried her down and sat her on the seat. He showed her how to turn and where to put her feet. He knew it would take her time to learn to ride on her own, so the bike came with a small handle on the back that would let him give her a helping push. He pushed on the handle and the bike rolled forward slowly, Bella giggling in delight as she turned the bike. “Watch where you’re going or you’ll crash.” Hamish warned.

Skylar eased herself down and sat on the top step, more than content to watch from there how things went. Bustling down the hall as fast as she had after Bella had made her a bit dizzy, and she tucked herself against the side railing as she watched Hamish with his little girl.

Bella giggled, and simply just went, not really paying much mind to steering. So it wasn’t really much surprise in the end that she brought the wheels around to run right into the bottom stair.

Hamish laughed a long with Bella when she crashed. He helped her turn the bike around and began pushing her again. His face and neck were still flushed brightly from earlier, it was just something his body did… he felt fine now… but his face and neck would stay bright red for a long time after he had cooled of their his and Skylar’s 'mommy and daddy time.’

Tommy caught on to the flush almost immediately. A wicked grin tugged at his mouth, and the eldest, though shortest, of the boys cocked his hip as he leaned on the railing watching his sisters handsome cowboy. “Sooo,” Thomas drawls, “y'all have some fun in there? Cause Hamish is bright, bright red, and I ain’t seen him that shade before.”

Skylar snickers but says nothing to incriminate them.

in that moment Hamish wished he had his hat, so he could use it to hide his face, he hunched his shoulders slightly in embarrassment and helped Bella turn the bike so she could continue riding. Bella looked around wanting to make sure everyone was watching her while she rode her bike.

Adam grinned at Hamish’s embarrassment, chuckling faintly. His eyes, along with Greg’s, never left Bella though. They had been shooshed out of the kitchen while Vera and the twins finished baking and decorating Bella’s cake, so the triplets had to get their jollies somehow.

Tommy snickered. “Oh c'mon, Hamish, my bro. Got nothing t’ say about it?” He goaded teasingly, and swung himself down to the ground in case his goading got him into any mischief. Like his little brothers, his eyes never left Bella, and he smiled at her endearingly when she looked at him.

Hamish focused his eyes on his daughter. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with me being excited to see my wife again.” He stated simply. “Plus…your sister a walking tease, couldn’t help myself.” His mouth twitched up into a smirk, he snuck a glance over at Skylar.

Skylar flushed a vibrant blue hue, and coughed slightly as she leaned harder on the railing of the stairs. “Well, I ain’t gonna deny that. I love t’ tease my husband and get him all riled up. He makes th’ most darling o’ noises for me~” She smirked right back at him.

Tommy broke into guffaws. “Sis has always been a tease. I guess we’ll always know when you’ve been up t’ shenanigans, huh ya lil’ tomato?”

Adam grumbled and flushed, not particularly wanting to think of his big sister doing sexual things. The bathroom incident was bad enough.

“Hamish ain’t a 'lil’ tomato.” Greg comments. “More like big tomato.” An amused smirk crawls up his face as he recalls startling Hamish on his first visit to the house, and getting a look at what he had downstairs. The bewildered look Hamish had had on his face had been priceless.

Hamish’s “Call me what you want, Greg, I reckon you where just jealous I found your sister first~” He teased, flashing the boy a smirk. Hamish had no interest in men, but he was aware that the other boys interests where a lot different to his, and that mean he wasn’t afraid make a few teasing comments.

“Me? Nah.” Greg quirked a smirk at him. He side eyed Tommy. “However…”

Tommy grinned and cocked his hip. “I admit, I was a little jealous. Buuut, I’ve got something better myself.” He had two amazing boyfriends who had two absolutely fantastic dicks. No trading them for the world.

Skylar snickers. “Jealous they might be, but you’re all mine.” She winks at him. “I don’t think you’re complaining about ya selection either, eh?”

Hamish grinned. “I wouldn’t dare complain. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

BRRRIIIING Hamish attention was pulled to his daughter in a second, Bella was frozen for a moment before letting out a boyish giggled, ringing the bell on her bike a second time.

BRRRIIIIIIIING

Bella with the bike bell was absolutely precious, and there was several coos from the onlookers on the deck.

“If you say so, bro.” Adam grins after a moment, and playfully leans down to tug on his sister’s horns. “Dunno how ya handle this one. Sis is a handful. I’d say you’re the ballsiest man in the world.”

Skylar laughed and swatted at her brothers hands manhandling her horns, taking no offense to the giant of a man playfully nitpicking at her. “Hey! Don’t pick on me when I can’t defend m'self.”

Hamish smiled and watched Adam, feeling a small twinge of protectiveness in his chest when Adam tugged at Skylar’s horns. He knew there was no way Adam would ever hurt Skylar but at the same time, Skylar was currently in a very fragile state. He didn’t want anyone treating her roughly.

Skylar grumbled good-naturedly at Adam when he continued to pester her, and then glanced at Greg. “Greeeeg. My favorite middle-brother…” She hums lightly as she makes an attempt to shake her horns free again, and fails.

“Hm…?” Lackadaisical orange eyes peer at her. He spots her issue, and saunters over, before grinning and tipping Adam the rest of the way over the railing from where he had been leaning and pestering her, and laughing when he landed with a grunt in the grass. It got him to leave her alone. “Have a nice trip, see ya next fall~” He grins at his younger brother.

Adam spits out grass, and then shoves himself upright. Before Greg can backpedal, he’s dragged over the railing, and both brothers tumble across the lawn in a jumble of limbs as they grunt and wrestle, playfully growling and snarling at each other. They made sure to keep well away from Bella and Skylar.

All the same, Tommy put himself between Skylar and the duo just in case, and watched them tear up the lawn as Adam tossed Greg around like the smaller but older brother was a rag doll. They were rougher with each other than they were when they heckled Hamish- that much was obvious by the damage to the grass.

Skylar grins smugly, and crosses her ankles. She winks at Hamish. “Greg’s not too big o’ a chicken t’ heckle Adam for me.”

“NO!” Bella shouted. She tumbled off her bike and lowered her horns at the wrestling boys, and then toddled forward to charge them.

“Bella, baby no.” Hamish said, scooping her up.

“ADN NO!” She yelled “REG!”

Hamish laughed and cuddled her while she yelled at her uncles, squeezing her hands in to little fists like she was ready to run in and join the fight.

Skylar chuckled, and nudged at Thomas. “Alright, alright, go break it up before Bella starts to shriek.”

Tommy rolls his eyes, and then picks up a rock. He waits a moment as he hefts it, before he chucks it at the two of them.

Adam yelps as it nails him in the ass. “Thomas!” He abandons Greg, leaving the lazier brother wheezing on the ground with laughter, and charges Tommy.

Tommy just blows a raspberry at him, and takes off running. Thomas might have been only five foot seven against Adam’s seven foot eight, but the boy was faster than his younger brother, and the two of them disappeared around the corner of the house swiftly.

Skylar chuckled, and made an attempt to get up off the stairs so she could join them down on the lawn. “I’m surprised ya didn’t join in on th’ fun, Haz. Not feelin’ up t’ kickin’ it with the kiddos?”

“Not a kid,” Greg groans at her from where he’s sprawled on the grass. “I’m gonna be a dad- can’t be a kid if I’m gonna be a dad. Shush you. ‘N ya owe me a can o’ chew for saving ya hide from Adam.”

Hamish let Bella back down, she ran as best she could and charged Greg, hitting his side before rolling onto his chest.

Hamish snorted. He’d usually tell her to be gentler, however he knew the boys could handle it.

Greg grunted as she slammed into him. His poor ribs would have a bruise in the shape of her tiny sharp horns, but he would be fine enough. He shifted and lifted her up in his arms, holding her sky high and playfully tickling her belly, before rolling them both over. Greg settled her gently down on the grass, and then settled on all fours, and lowered his little horns at her. “Bring it, squirt.” He said playfully. All in all, his horns were not much larger than hers- and not very sharp- hence his self esteem about them.

Skylar watched her brother playing with his niece, and then smiled to her husband. She waved a hand. “Help? I’m stuck.”

Hamish tended to his wife reaching out to her and pulling her carefully up into his arms. He beamed and massaged his palms over her belly, standing with her while they watched their daughter play. It would be a huge pain on Skylar, but he was glad their triplets had horns. Bella needed someone to butt heads with.

Skylar leaned into him with a soft, pleased sigh, and let him massage away any aches she had. “She’s a real handful.” Skylar comments lightly. “Y’ gonna wanna watch yourself- sometimes she doesn’t think, n’ just plows into folks. ‘M workin’ on it, but she’s nailed Ma’ n’ Kodi once already. Kodi got it worse. He’s just short enough t’ be in head butting range for his lil’ man bits.”

Her little cousin had walked funny the first night they’d been there.

Hamish hummed. “She needs something to get her energy out on. I don’t know much about how horns work for you and your brothers, but I’m guessing the head butting is just going to phase until she learns there is a time and place to use her horns.” He watched his daughter as she pressed her horns against Greg’s, pushing back against him as hard as she could. While her uncle was much stronger than she was by a lot, for her age Bella was a very strong baby.

As large as he was, Greg didn’t budge. But, he did give some leeway with his neck, and also very gently shoved back against her to urge her onwards, chuckling and grinning all the while. His flat teeth were fine for her to accidentally brush her hands against- no risk of cutting herself on them- so no need for him to keep them constantly covered.

Skylar nods slightly. “Normally, I’d be down there doin’ it and working on teaching her time n’ place. But… well, I can’t get back up.” She hums. “And yeah. The head butting is a time ‘n place thing to learn- though you should expect affectionate ones from time t’ time even as she gets bigger and learns more. I think we’re gonna have more trouble with her when it comes t’ her temper. I was a hotheaded kid at times. ‘M really hopin’ she doesn’t lose this set o’ teeth and grow in a set like mine, or we’ll have t’ work on not biting.”

Hamish rested his head against Skylar and smiled. “Isn’t it crazy to think she’s already a year old. She’s been with us a whole year and now there are three more coming.” He said.

Bella shoved against Greg, and then sat up looking around. She got up and looked around. “Adn and tummy, gone?” She said.

“It is crazy.” Skylar agrees, watching her warmly. “I wonder… Will our boys be just like her?”

Greg sat back when she was done, and hummed slightly. “Nah, they’ll be back soon enough. Probably went t’ help your Nana with some stuff. Buuuuttt,” He grins, and then carefully bowls her over to press raspberries to her belly. “That means you’re all mine t’ tickle and tease, ya lil’ squirt.”

Bella squeals and giggled, kicking her legs out against him, her hands balling into fist to throw tiny punches.

Hamish laughs then looks back up at Skylar. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, or her…or this family. But what ever I did, I’m glad I did it.”

Greg took all the tiny kicks and punches, and instead focused on tickling her and earning more squeals and giggles from her.

Skylar chuckles. “I thank th’ fates every day that I made the long ride out t’ your town n’ met ya on the day ya took your cattle t’ auction. It was a stroke o’ luck.”

“A bigger stroke of luck than you think. I was planning to drive them out a week later than I did, but the radio kept talking about rain coming across. So I brought them in early so I wasn’t walking them through rain and mud.” He said, cupping Skylar’s cheek.

Skylar laughed gently and kissed his palm. “Ironically, we ended up with several rivers dried up, and no rain in sight for weeks despite what the radio said.” She quirked a grin at him. “Made for a long ride back home, and then back up t’ your place with my herd. Heh- it feels like so long ago, but it really wasn’t tha’ long since I moved up there.” Almost two years- she’d been about a month and then some along when she’d gotten settled up there. “A stroke o’ luck… And a good one at that- and I found th’ love o’ my life, n’ started a family o’ my own.”

Hamish curled his fingers over Skylar’s, his lips curling up when he felt her wedding ring against his hand. He let out a long breath, and then moved his other hand to her belly rubbing his palm over it. Sometimes everything felt so perfect it was almost like he was about to wake up from a dream, and everything would be gone- his wife, his daughter and his unborn sons… It was usually times when he had thoughts like this was when the itch for nicotine tickled the back of his throat and worry would build up in his chest.

Skylar watched the twitch of his brows, and lifted a hand to smooth her fingers gently between them while her brother ‘rough housed’ with her daughter. “What’s on your mind, sugar?” She asks softly while he rubs her belly. Her middle twitches faintly under his palm, one of the boys kicking and slowly settling down to rest after their brief time of activity.

He looked up and shrugged. “I know it’s been almost two years…but, I sometimes just can’t help the feeling that all this is too good to be true… that one morning I’m going to wake up… and the house’ll be empty… and none of this will be real.” He scrubbed his palm against his forehead. “It’s why I have trouble quitting smoking… ‘cause I stress that… one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. I know this is real… I dunno, it’s silly I guess. Even if this was all a dream I shouldn’t stress about it, I should enjoy it while I’m living it.” He rested his head against hers. “You ain’t gonna let me wake up and this all be a dream are you?”

“Sweetheart,” Skylar nuzzled her head against his, “If this is a dream, and we both wake up, I’m gonna know where t’ come and find you. ‘N that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.” She promises. “If it’s a dream- then I’m gonna come find you, down at th’ auction jus’ like we first met, n’ we’ll really start livin’.” She hooks her fingers into his belt loop, and rubs her thumbs on his hip with a soft sound. “Maybe we need t’ get ya one o’ those spinner rings? When ya start t’ crave ‘n have thoughts, ya can spin th’ ring until th’ thoughts n’ cravings fade away.”

He let out a laugh. He opened his mouth to reply but all that came out was a grunt of pain as he doubled over slightly, grabbing at his knee where his daughter had charged him. “You know what, I don’t think this is a dream.” He wheezed.

Bella stood at their feet, rubbing her own head. Charging her daddy’s knee had hurt a little bit.

Skylar laughed heartily, and leaned down a bit to rub Bella’s head. “I wouldn’t think so. We need t’ get ya a set o’ knee pads. You alright, Haz?” She asks gently, looking at her Husband’s knee critically. She looked back at Greg. “What happened t’ watching Bella?”

Greg was wheezing, hunched on his face in the grass. “She got me in th’ jewels, Sis. I would like those t’ remain in one piece.”

Hamish chortles with laughter. Bella was luckily still slightly too short to get Hamish in 'the jewels’, though he knew eventually she would grow tall enough. Bella looked up at her parents, holding her head her eyes tearing up slightly. “Aw sweetie, did you hurt your head?” He cooed, lifting her up.

“Yuh…” Bella sniffled.

Skylar smiled faintly, and leaned over to gently take her little head in her hands. “Here, baby girl, lemme see.” She couldn’t lift and carry Bella- not only was it not safe for the triplets, but she couldn’t bend down that far to reach her. But with Bella in Hamish’s arms, she could lean over and press gentle kisses to her daughter’s skull. “Mama will kiss it better, mkay? Mwah.” She smooched her gently. There wasn’t anything visibly wrong with her skull, or with her little horns- and a Mama’s kiss could go a long way sometimes.

Bella sniffed, and then smiled. Mama’s kisses always made things better. She snuggled against Hamish’s chest.

He turned towards Greg. “Bella, you hurt uncle Greg, can you say sorry?” He asked.

Bella looked over at Greg, and then smiled. “Sowy” She called out.

Greg gave her a thumbs up, and managed to pull himself upright. “’S alright, kiddo. ‘S all water under th’ bridge.”

Skylar smiled. “Might want t’ just walk it off, Greg.”

“Yup. Once I can get my feet under me, ‘m gonna do just that.”

Hamish snorted. He stepped over and offered his hand out to Greg to help him up. Bella held Hamish’s shirt, looking down at Greg.

Greg took Hamish’s hand and hauled himself upright, legs shaking faintly. He gave them a swift shake, before hobbling off to ‘walk it off’ as Skylar suggested. “Thanks, Hamish.”

Skylar snorts. “He’s gonna have t’ get used t’ walking it off. If any o’ his boys get his horns, he’s gonna be in for a world o’ hurt.”

“I think all us boys are gonna cop a few hits from all the kids that are going to be running around eventually.” Hamish said, looking down at Bella who was watching Greg walk off his pain.

“Ah, the joys o’ bein’ a girl. Ain’t got no jewels t’ get squashed. Just got organs for babies t’ use for trampolines ‘n punching bags.” She smooched his cheek with an amused snort. “Ya’ll might want t’ invest in some sports cups.”

“Might not be a bad idea. Large for me n’ your man, medium for Tommy, and an extra, extra large for Adam.” Greg snorts.

Hamish clicked his tongue. “I don’t know.”  He said, a boyish competitive tone to his voice. “I feel like I might be an extra large.” He stated, glancing at Skylar and hoping she would agree with him. Bella laid her head against Hamish’s shoulder.

“Well, you’re definitely not just a large.” Skylar winked up at him salaciously, and captured one of Bella’s hands so she could rub it.

“He’s only half ‘n inch longer than me at most.” Greg rolls his eyes at Hamish’s competitive tone. “Adam’s got a whole two inches on me, so I think he’s got ya beat. He won’t admit it though- makes him all awkward ‘cause he’s too big for a lot o’ women. Still no idea how he’s gonna do it with his girlfriend- she’s a tiny lil’ sprite o’ a thing. Pretty sure his…” He glanced at Bella, “Thing is as big around as Lily’s arm.”

They were brothers- they pretty well knew each other’s specifics by now. There was such a thing as brotherly competition when they were younger- and bets upon who would be biggest. Tommy obviously drew the short straw.

Hamish puffed out his chest as Skylar stroked his ego, his mouth quirking up into a wide smile. He wasn’t too ruffled at the comments about Adams size; he had already assumed that Adam would be bigger than him… that or hilariously small compared to the rest of the giant mans body.

Skylar poked Hamish in the belly as he puffed up like a proud peacock, and then chuckled. “You’re so silly, Haz. If ya puff up any more, ya gonna fall over.”

Hamish nuzzled his chin against Bella’s skull as he smirked at Skylar. He couldn’t help it; he loved when his wife made comments about how impressive his performance was.

“So we’ve covered that you’re a good lover- but what about my sister?” Greg crosses his arms with an amused grin. He wiggled a teasing brow at his big sister. “Do I have t’ tease her for bein’ bad in bed, ‘n get her one o’ those books? ‘101 ways t’ please your man’?”

Skylar smirked back at him and wiggled a brow. “I dunno- how am I, Haz? Any good? Or should I hit th’ books~?” She teased. She was so glad Bella was little enough that all of this would go right over her head.

Hamish shifted Bella in his arm. “I think it takes a very talented women to use her mouth on my without even a scratch from her teeth.” He purred.

Skylar blushed brightly and beamed at him. She wiggled her brow again. “Maybe I can brush up on my skills t’night~” She purrs.

“Gross.” Greg chuckles. “It takes a brave man t’ let those teeth near your bits. Sky’s nipped me on the arm before. I can’t imagine that anywhere near anything more sensitive.”

Hamish’s soul began pounding in his chest at the possible promise of a blowjob tonight. “She knows she’s tougher than me. She’s good at being gentle with me.” He said, rubbing Skylar’s back.

Greg guffaws. “She’s tougher than most o’ us, bud. I knew that th’ moment she set me on my ass for bein’ an ass ‘n overstepping my bounds.” Greg grins at them and straightens. He’s still walking a little funny, but he’s better than before. “So… I’m gonna assume I should keep ‘n eye on lil’ Bella for th’ two o’ ya t’night?”

Skylar flushes. She detected the change in Hamish’s soul beats from where her head was pressed to his shoulder. “Someone’s excited,” She whispers to her husband, before grinning sheepishly at her brother. “Well… If ya didn’t get t’ see Ronnie for weeks upon weeks on end, wouldn’t you want a lil’ time with her too?”

He snorts. “Point taken.”

Hamish turned his head slightly to press a kiss against Skylar’s skull. “I’m more than excited.” He mumbled against her head. Luckily the way he had positioned himself in his pants meant his little Hamish wasn’t as obvious when it tried to push out against his pants. It would have to wait though. Right now it was just about lunch time which would mean Vera would want everyone inside for Bella’s birthday lunch.

“Oh yeah?” She murmured back to him with a sly grin. “Already roused ‘n ready t’ go? You’re insatiable.” She purrs teasingly.

Vera steps out onto the porch, and rings the bell hanging from a low set metal rod. She grins down at them with a set of sharp teeth, and cocks her hip. She’s got a ‘kiss the cook’ apron on, which is covered in floury handprints. “Hey- lunch ‘n cake is ready. Ya’ll done socializing out here?” She eyes her daughter. “You’re supposed t’ be off o’ your feet, lil’ miss.”

Vera gets an eye roll in response.

Hamish grins and leans in to kiss her neck when the bell rings out. Bella lifts her head at the noise and Hamish moves away from Skylar slightly. He wraps his arm around his wife’s waist and helps her up the steps and into the house.

“Smells good in here, Vera!” Hamish commented, helping Skylar into a chair before sitting Bella into her highchair, and then moving to sit next to his wife.

The boys all bustled in at the bell, Tommy and Adam coming in from the back door. Adam was breathing hard, while Tommy was snickering to himself. They settled across from Hamish and Skylar.

“I’m glad ya think so, sweetheart.” Vera grins to him. “Made home made French toast for lunch, with some banana’s on th’ side. Cake ‘ll come after. Ah- Skylar- ya vitamins are next t’ your plate.”

Skylar makes a face but nods. “Thanks, Ma.” She fetches them out of their container- it’s a whopping handful of pills- and collects her glass of water. She makes an unpleasant face as she takes them, and then licks her lips. “Why do things that are good for ya have t’ taste so bad when they touch your tongue?”

Hamish gave her a smile and rubbed her thigh under the table.

Bella leaned forward in her highchair, reaching for the food. “Yummy, nana?” She asked, making little begging grabby hands.

“Yummy indeed.” Vera chuckled. She smiled, and got Bella’s plate settled down in front of her, before working on getting everyone else’s plates served up to them. “Alright- eat up!” She chirps once everyone’s been served. Settling herself down, Vera grins to Hamish and lightly nudges him with her foot. “’N no foolin’ around at the table you two.”

Skylar flushed. Apparently Vera had noticed his hand on her thigh- and had misinterpreted it. Well… The location was close to somewhere else. “He was just pattin’ my leg Ma. Nothin’ o’ the sort. That’s for later.”

Adam choked lightly on his drink and gave them both dirty looks. “C’mon now, this is th’ table.”

“Oh c’mon, Adam, lighten up.” Tommy grins, making his little brother grumble at him.

Hamish’s cheeks flushed and his shoulders hunched slightly under Adams gaze. He moved his hands up into the table, gripping at his cutlery his cheeks going warm.

Bella wasn’t bothered by the adults as she shoved handfuls of food into her mouth.

Skylar nudged her shoulder to Hamish’s. “Don’ let him intimidate ya, sweetheart. He’s all guff.” That said, she leaned into her husband, pointedly cuddling him, and set into slowly nibbling her lunch. With how big the boys were getting, they put more pressure on her stomach and other organs. She couldn’t eat as large of meals- she had to eat a lot of smaller, more frequent ones in order to meet the dietary requirements her body needed.

“He really is. Besides- ya might be older, but ya look spry enough. Ya could probably out run him if ya needed to.” Tommy chirps to his brother in law.

Hamish glanced to Skylar, looking for a silent conformation that her brother wasn’t going to try and chase him, he doubted Vera would let him during lunch. He forked a mouthful of lunch into his mouth, snuffling closer to Skylar.

“He’s not gonna do nothin’ ‘n ruin his niece’s birthday,” Skylar smiles, and it’s a very sharp smile that she gives her little brother, “Or he’s gonna miss somethin’ he likes very dearly.”

Adam swallows and glances away. “Yep. I’ll behave.”

She gives a pleased rumble, and nuzzles her husband’s shoulder. “Good.” She nibbles on her food, slowly working on the French toast and slices of banana. Her mom gave her the same amount as the others- which meant she wouldn’t be eating even half of it, sadly.

“So, Hamish, ya enjoying getting t’ see your wife ‘n daughter?” Vera hums. “Sky looks a lot different from when ya last saw her, doesn’t she?”

Hamish swallowed and smiled. “I missed them so much, the house seems so empty without them there. I can’t wait to have everything finished so I can bring them both home.” He smiled at Skylar then looked over at Bella, he reached out and moved her hand away from her mouth, forcing her to chew and swallow her food before putting more in her mouth.

Skylar caught sight of Bella’s shenanigans, and gave her daughter a soft sigh and a smile. “Bella, ya gotta chew and swallow before more is gonna fit in there, or all the nummys fall out.”

Vera snickered. “Ya did the same thing, sweetheart. It’s like I’m lookin’ at ya from thirty three years ago.” She took a drink from her glass, and then smiled at Hamish. “I’m glad ya miss her. Ya really love her- which makes me happy.”

Hamish glanced down at Skylar’s wedding ring then back up to Vera. “I’ve haven’t been with too many women… living as far out from town as I do means you don’t get to meet many. But of the girls I had spent time with, none of them come close to comparing with Skylar.”

Vera nods. “Sky’s had her fair share of boyfriends- but none of them lasted. None of them were cut out for this life- or had… our morals, safe t’ say.”

Skylar makes a face. “Like th’ one who thought he could hit Mel ‘n get away with it.”

“Like him.” Vera nods. “It’s good t’ see both o’ ya found your happy ending.” She smiles wider. “I just hope ya can handle her horse. Mel was a handful for th’ boys- I can’t imagine th’ kind o’ trouble she gives you.”

Hamish laughed. “She’s definitely got an attitude towards me… however she has to like me to some extent… if she was willing to let me do what it took for me to find out she’s got a foal.” He explained.

“Ohhh, Mel’s got a foal?” Vera perked up. “Someone finally tamed tha’ wily mare? Huh. Well, congrats to the stud that managed it- unless y’all did Artificial Insemination?”

“Nah- Hamish’s stud, Charlie, managed t’ woo her.” Skylar quirked a grin. “Mel doesn’t mind Hamish so long as I’m not pregnant. And… well, I am, so she’s in a snit over it. How’s she doin’ by the way?” She casts her glance to her husband as she contemplates if she can finish more toast, or if more would just make her stomach too full and therefore upset. “I ain’t seen her since I had t’ leave- she keepin’ ya on your toes? Th’ other guys too?” She could imagine the shenanigans her mare would get into if she was allowed to. Poor city-boy Ava wouldn’t know how to handle her.

That made Hamish laugh. “Actually, one of the guys apparently use to ride and so he thought that meant he had some… 'magic power over horses’, and he tried to go and have a cuddle with Mel and ended up with a torn shirt.” He poked at his food. “She’s getting a belly now, and I think the last week is the first time I’ve ever seen Charlie getting grumpy, just cause he doesn’t like when the workers get to close to Mel I suppose.”

Skylar nods faintly. “She’ll have her foal a while after I have the triplets- but she’ll start showing probably early. She’s a slim mare- ‘n foals aren’t small babies. But… Golly, I don’t wanna call that guy ‘n idiot, but…”

“He kinda was.” Adam snorts. “Ya don’t go up t’ a strange horse n’ try t’ cuddle it, no matter how cute it looks. Not even if it’s given ya moon eyes t’ lure ya over. Usually means ‘s gonna cause mischief.”

Hamish smirked. “It gave the other guys a good laugh. I tried to warn him.” He spooned some food into his mouth. “Ava is scared of the horses, so I wanna get him on Charlie.”

Skylar snickered. “I can’t imagine Ava on a horse. He’s too much o’ a city boy t’ go into th’ barn with us most of the time, let alone get on th’ back o’ a horse.” She finished another slice of banana, and then hummed at her plate. “Ya want the rest Haz? I eat anymore, n’ my stomach‘ll get upset.”

“I just want him to know there is nothing to be scared of.” He said, trading plates with Skylar.

Bella who had finished her food reached out over the highchair tray at Hamish’s plate. “More?” She asked.

Hamish passed some off the food to Bella. He didn’t want her to have too much, but if she wanted to steal the fruit from his plate, he was mote than happy with that.

Skylar watches her and smiles faintly as Bella tucks into the banana with gusto. She glances to Hamish and gives him a soft wink. “There’s plenty t’ be afraid of.” A stallion had killed Skylar’s father after all- same thing Hamish wanted to mount him up on. “But if you’re smart about it, n’ ya respect the animal, they’ll usually respect you. Charlie would be a good one t’ ride. Definitely not Mel. She smells a green rider from a mile out, n’ she’s a turd. She’d take him on th’ ride o’ his life.”

“Oh, ya mean what she did t’ that boy ya dated some odd years back?” Greg snickers. “Had never ridden a horse before- thought he could pony up, show off for Sky, and that it’d be easy. Pretty sure she busted one o’ his nuts on th’ saddle horn.”

“Darryl was a prideful twit, and I dated him for three days before I couldn’t take any more of it.” Skylar snorts. “And yeah, she did. Mel is not a nice horse t’ everyone. She likes… Well, me ‘n Bella.”

Bella looked up at Skylar, banana mush smeared over her cheeks, she smiled widely and did an imitation of a horse sound.

Hamish rubbed her skull then turned to Skylar with a raised brow. “You’ve never told me about all these 'boyfriends’ of yours?”

“If Sis didn’t run them off, we did.” Adam grins. “Or did bad things t’ them. Like the guy that stood ya up for prom. We might have been small, but small people in great number have power.”

Skylar rolled her eyes at her little brother. “Ya buried him up t’ his neck, and I had t’ go dig him out. Anyways, I’ve had a fair few. None of them lasted longer than a few weeks- most o’ them couldn’t hack the farm life, or ended up doin’ somethin’ stupid t’ get me t’ knock them on their rears. Case in point, the one that hit Mel.” Skylar hums. “I laid him out flat, n’ knocked out his teeth. Ya don’t hit my horse n’ think ya gonna get away with it.” She lightly rubs her knuckles. There are very, very tiny indents from years ago where someone’s teeth had scored across her knuckles. Tiny and almost imperceptible- but there if one looked for them. “S’ why I took care t’ look over your animals while I was there. Folks can put up a front all they like, n’ can be the most spic n’ span person you’d ever meet- but you can tell a lot from a person by the care they put into their animals.”

“Well, despite my good looks I’ve only been with three other women.” He said, leaning back in his chair. “And… well I wouldn’t really say I dated any of them.” His tone was a little bit sheepish.

“I mostly was with city folk who wanted t’ try their hand at goin’ country, n’ couldn’t hack it. You’re th’ first and only one that even got t’ the point o’ wanting t’ ask me t’ marry them. T’ most o’ them, I wasn’t marrying material.” Skylar watches him with a curious gaze. “Huh… Well, booty calls are a thing. I had a couple o’ those too- libido is nothin’ t’ be ashamed of. Ya have your notches in your belt and I have mine. How else d’ ya think I can manage not t’ hurt ya with chompers like mine?” She lifts a brow.

Hamish flinched slightly. “Jeez… was the first guy okay?” He asked, a slightly amused look crossing his face. He knew the talk wasn’t really appropriate for the table. But Tommy and Greg seemed happy enough with the current topic.

She folded her fingers across the swell of her belly and twiddled them faintly. “He was… Eventually. Had t’ have a couple stitches. Swore off lettin’ women’s mouths near his bits for the rest o’ his life though.”

Tommy snickered. “He tried guys a while after that and decided he liked them better- we used t’ joke that Sis scared him gay.”

Skylar flushed a bright blue color and covered her face with her hands. “Jeeze, I had hoped ya’d forgotten that.”

Hamish snorted, but raised a cheeky brow at Tommy. “And you would know he tried guys, huh?” He took another mouthful of food, finishing off his plate.

“Mhm. I know lots o’ things.” Tommy fluttered his eyes at Hamish. “Sometimes I know things that surprise folks.” The smallest man finished off his plate as well, and leaned back with a content sigh. “Ah, that was delicious Ma. Thank ya~”

“Glad ya liked it, sugar.” Vera gave him a warm grin, and propped her cheek onto her palm.

Hamish’s brows pushed together. “Go on then, surprise me.” He challenged, folding his arms over his chest.

Bella grabbed at her sippy cup, bringing it to her mouth to guzzle down the water.

“By surprise folks, I meant surprise them by what they think I shouldn’t know about them.” Tommy leans back in his chair and crooks a sharp-toothed grin at him. Bright green eyes glitter at him eagerly. “Ya sure ya want t’ challenge me at th’ dinner table where everyone can hear what I could spill?”

Skylar frowns thoughtfully at Tommy. “What have ya been doin’ for ya t’ learn things ya shouldn’t know?”

Tommy just winks at her.

Hamish squinted slightly. “I’m challenging you because I think you’re bluffing.” He said simply.

Tommy just smirks. “Alright. You asked for it.” He taps his finger lightly on the table, and then arches a brow. He politely leans up and covers Adam’s ears so he doesn’t have to hear, making Greg break out into guffaws, and the younger man roll his eyes impatiently at his older brother. “You have a thing for socks and feet. Got a particular likin’ for a pair of blue socks Sky’s has. And I’m talkin’ more than just a little thing, based on what I’m getting’. Might possibly have a thing for pregnancy too- but not sure on that one. Could just be coincidence.”

Skylar flushed and sputtered- because she quite clearly had not told her brother that.

Hamish’s cheeks flushed bright red. Of all the things Tommy could say, that was the last think he thought would come out of the boys mouth. He sunk down in his chair slightly. He knew Vera was listening and he was horrified at the thought of what she must be thinking.

“How do ya know that?” Skylar questions, giving her little brother a flustered look.

Thomas grins and pulls out his phone. “Accidentally lost a cute photo ya sent me o’ Bella, ‘n I wanted it back, so I went t’ ask ya for it. Ya were asleep, so I went diggin’ for it, and came across a whole slew o’ interesting photos in your libraries, big Sis. Some o’ them had ya in them, n’ some o’ them had Hamish in them.” He grins at his brother in law. “So. Was I bluffin’?”

Vera was listening, and she did tilt her head to peer at her daughter with a curious sound. “Huh. So that’s why there’s always loads o’ socks in th’ laundry. Ya teasin’ Hamish when he’s supposed t’ be workin’.” She gives Skylar an amused glance. “Well, if you lot soil laundry t’night, just put it in th’ gross pile n’ I’ll make sure t’ use caution when washin’ them. Ya might be family now, Hamish, but I don’t want t’ grab a hand full o’ your dried sperms. That’s gross.”

Hamish pressed his face into his hands and turned to rest his face on Skylar’s shoulder, his skull felt like it was on fire. Tommy had gone through their photos, their supposedly private photos. Now all he could wonder was how much had he really seen, had he simply scrolled through the library of photos… or had the little shit sat down to take a good look through everything.

Tommy couldn’t help his shit eating grin at Hamish’s expense and laughs heartily at his flush. “Hooo boy, well, you’re really red.”

Skylar lifts a hand and rubs it over Hamish’s skull. Her easily bashful husband was probably going to fret now about sending photos. She took a deep breath, and fixed Tommy with a flat stare. “No more snoopin’ in my phone, or I’m gonna do somethin’ unspeakable t’ ya. Or Hamish jus’ might do it.”

“Fine, fine.” He snorts. ���I didn’t go that deep anyway. After I nearly caught sight o’ a boob with one o’ those socks, I quick skimmed t’ find Bella and got out o’ there. Didn’t see anything in detail- just a lot o’ the same colors o’ socks.”

He let out a long groan against Skylar’s shoulder.

Bella leant to the side and patted his arm gently. “Don’t cry dada.” She said.

Her little voice made him laugh. “I’m okay, baby.”

“Daddy’s okay. He’s jus’ bein’ silly ‘cause Uncle Tommy was bein’ a goober.” Skylar gives her daughter a warm look. “You’re such a good girl, worrying for ya daddy like that.”

Bella smiled at her mama and tugged on Hamish’s shirt, getting her daddy’s attention.

He turned to her and smiled, using her bib to wipe the mess off her face. When her little cheeks were clean he leant in to give her a little kiss.

Bella beamed and smiled and gave him a kiss in return, before clinging to him with happy abandon. “Dada. Luvouuu.” She cooed happily to Hamish.

He grinned. “I love you too beautiful. Are you having a happy birthday little girl?” He rubbed her skull.

The cake could be seen sitting up on the kitchen counter. Bella would be over the moon with excitement when she saw the sweet treat.

“Yuh!” She beamed to him and nuzzled her little horns into his hand.

Skylar smiled and then shifted in her seat. She worked to get up, gained her feet, and then crept around the table to the counter. She put cake plates on the table, as well as a serving knife and silverware, before carefully lighting the big candle with the number ‘1’ on it and collecting the cake. Everyone had finished their meals- which meant that it was time for the cake.

Balancing it lightly on her belly, she carried the lit cake back over to the table, and glanced over where she could set it so it would be just out of range of grabby fingers, but within range of her blowing out the candles.

Bella’s little eyes widened to the size of dinner plates at the sight of the cake. She kicked her legs excitedly a huge smile on her face. She pointed at the cake. “Mine?” She asked.

Hamish chuckled. “You can have a piece.”

She got even more excited at that.

Skylar laughed at her excitement, and set the cake down just in range for blowing out the candle. “Alright, baby girl. You can have some cake- but first, ya gotta get sang to. Everyone gets sang to when they have their birthday with th’ family.” She looked to her family, and motioned for them to join her. The lot of them gathered, and Skylar winked to Hamish before taking a deep breath as Adam draped his arm over her shoulders. She motioned for Hamish to join in with the family, and then started them off singing the traditional ‘happy birthday’ song.

“Happy birthday to you~” She, like the rest of her family, could sing pretty decently. She could sing better than the others- they were better with instruments than she was- but together, the five of them could harmonize quite nicely. All in all, it would be a delightful treat for Bella to experience. They didn’t do it often. “Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday dear Bella. Happy birthday to you!”

Hamish was no singer, so his deep gruffer voice conflicted with the siblings harmony.

It didn’t matter to Bella. Bella’s face looked like it might break with how wide she was smiling. She bounced in her highchair, rocking from side to side, in a little dance as they sang to her.

The siblings were good sports, and adjusted their octaves to fit in Hamish’s gruffer voice just fine. When the song came to an end, Skylar was a little out of breath from how the triplets were sitting, but her daughter’s smile made it worth it. “Alright, baby girl.” Skylar managed to keep her tone steady as she readied plates and caught her breath. The triplets would be weighing heavy on her lungs for the next several months, until they ‘dropped’ as it was. “Blow out the candle with one big breath.” She cooed.

Bella blinked at the little flame and leaned forward and blowing a fart sound, her little brows pushed together, she took another breath and tried to blow again… but the flame didn’t go out. “Mama?” She pouted, looking up at Skylar.

“Try one more time, baby girl, Mama will help ya, okay?” Skylar crouched down a little bit with some difficulty so she was level with the flame, and waited until Bella blew at the candle again. When she made the fart noise with her mouth, Skylar discretely blew at the same time, and puffed the candle out. “There ya go! Ya did it.” Skylar beamed at her.

Bella beamed right back at her, and then made grabby hands for it. “Yum!”

Skylar chuckled, and Adam helped her straighten out again. She was quick and efficient in getting the cake sliced and served. Bella got the first slice, and she set it in front of her with a spoon, though knew it wouldn’t be used, and then proceeded to pass the cake slices around the table. She glanced at Greg. “I’ll send a couple slices back with ya for Ronnie, m’kay?”

“Sounds good.” He chuckles as he accepts his slice.

When everyone has cake, Skylar takes a tiny slice for herself, and sits back down with Hamish so she can dig in to what all she could fit in her stomach. She might be full, but there was always room for a tiny sliver of cake.

Hamish ate his piece slowly, more interested in watching his daughter as she shoved fistfuls of cake into her mouth, smearing frosting over her cheeks.

Skylar watched her too, also slowly eating her piece while her brothers and mother worked steadily through theirs. Skylar was proud to say she finished hers, since hers was a small fraction of what the others were, though her stomach didn’t thank her. When she finished, she leaned back and sighed, rubbing her fingers over her belly as she watched the frosting go everywhere. “Cleaning her up ‘s gonna be fun.” She giggles lightly. “M’ glad she’s havin’ fun though.”

She ate messily and chewed loudly with her mouth open. “More?” She said through a mouthful of cake.

Hamish laughed and shook his head. “No baby, no more.” He finished off his slice and stood up to find something to clean her hands and face with.

Skylar hefted herself up out of her chair, and made her way to the kitchen. She stooped to fetch a couple of soft cloths, and then got two of them damp in the sink, before making her way back over to Hamish. She handed him one so he could tackle her messy face, while she worked on tidying up her sticky fingers.

Hamish took the cloth and bumped her hip slightly with his own. “You should sit down, I can clean her up.” He said, eyeing her belly. It must be killing her back. Maybe he should make a backrub apart of their foreplay tonight he thought, his cheeks heating slightly as his mind wandered.

Skylar gave him a lopsided smile, and finished cleaning her hands regardless. “I know ya can- but ya didn’t come all th’ way up here t’ spend ya time doin’ th’ chores. I’ll help as best I can. But… yeah- sittin’ down ‘s gonna agree with me here soon.” Skylar plants one hand on her lower back- a sign that yes, her back was killing her something awful- and moved to collect plates as everyone finished cake.

Vera stood up and took over, shooing her busybody daughter back to her seat. “Ya need t’ sit.” She stresses. “I know ya ain’t used t’ it- but ya body needs ya t’ be still n’ not do stuff. ‘S why you’re here- so we can take care o’ ya like ya need t’ be cared for. Now sit n’ be good n’ let me and ya brothers wait on ya a lil’ bit.”

Skylar huffs, but sits down, her back popping faintly as she eases back against the back of her chair. “Mmnnn I know.”

Vera glances at Hamish. “I don’t mind watchin’ Bella t’night if th’ two o’ ya want t’ take some time n’ make use o’ the tub t’ relax in, and spend the evening t’gether as a couple. It’s more than big enough t’ fit the both o’ ya. Maybe you can help her relax some.”

Hamish swallowed and glanced over at Skylar. “Would you wanna do that?” He asked her, the flush on his cheek spreading further.

Skylar flushes. “Ya really have t’ ask?” She queries, and lifts a brow at him lightly. Her fingers massage gently into her belly, and she smiles. “You’ll like th’ tub. It was built t’ fit my Da- which means it fits pretty much all o’ us in it like a hot tub.”

“Takes a while t’ fill though,” Vera reminds her lightly. “We’ll watch Bella while th’ both o’ ya take some time t’ yourselves this evening. All couples need it sometimes.”

Hamish thanked Vera, trying not to look too excited, knowing if he seemed too eager that her brothers would tease him for it. He lifted Bella out of her highchair and set her down on the floor. She immediately ran off to find something to get herself into.

Thomas was right on her heels, taking over baby watching shift without an issue. They had a system down- the only time they hindered Bella from going places was when she wasn’t supposed to be going there, or if it was naptime and she was being stubborn.  The boys would occupy her while the parents had plenty of time together.

Skylar watched her brothers trail after her, and then smiled. She shifted and made to heft herself out of her chair. “Alright. What would ya like t’ do, Haz?”

His face flushed. “W-well uh, if the bath is gonna take a while, might as well start running it now.” He suggested, placing a hand on Skylars back to guide her.

His hand on her back was helpful, and it helped her gain her balance. She smiled at him cheerily. “Works for me. C'mon, I’ll take ya to the bathroom and we’ll get ya it started. You’re gonna have t’ start it. Bending over isn’t what I can do.” Skylar gives him a sheepish smile.

Hamish walked with her towards the bathroom moving to turn the bath on when they where inside with the door closed, a locked! He wasn’t going to have one of the boys bursting in this time. He moved over to Skylar, wrapping his arms arms around her, leaning in to kiss her neck.

Once the tub was going, Skylar smiled and giggled as he locked the door. He’d been mildly traumatized by Greg popping in on him and startling him, and Skylar knew he would take no risks in having impromptu visitors while they were bathing. Skylar smiled, and leaned into him with a soft pleased sigh. She tilted her head, horns angling away from him so he could have access to her neck. “Mmm… We’re not even out o’ our clothes,” she purrs. Her hands slide back into his pockets, tugging his hips flush with her backside. She can feel his excitement pressing firm to her. “Well… Ya weren’t lyin’ when ya said ya were excited, were ya?”

He hummed against her neck, reaching around to tug her shirt off, his continued kissing her neck, rubbing his hands over his sides and as much of her belly as he could reach. After a short while he moved his hands back and unhooked her bra, slipping it off her shoulders. He pushed his hips against her backside a little firmer, his cheeks flushing a bright red hue. He could see Skylar’s front through a mirror and watching himself kissing a rubbing his hands over his wifes belly was getting him very excited.

Skylar sighed in to him with a soft sound, her backside rocking back into him with a firm motion. The feel of his hands was nice along her belly. The skin was taut and stretched and it itched something awful where it had grown so fast in such a short time. Skylar spotted him watching them through the mirror, and winked at him. She slid a hand up to palm her now bare breasts. “Like what ya see?” She purrs, and slips one of her hands down to her pants. She teases her fingers along the hem, before sliding them down and over her hips. Not all the way down- but a tease of what would come. Her hand instead slid back to rub up and down his stomach, sliding up under his shirt as she let out a soft groan under his touch, and her own. Her heavy breast was sensitive. Oh what she wouldn’t give to have his mouth on them, sucking on them… Her cheeks flushed slightly.

Hamish let out a breath watching her through the mirror his cheeks burning red. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, kissing her shoulder and witha grin he latched on and sucked her shoulder and neck, leaving bright marks. He grunted slightly as he rubbed himself agaisnt Skylar’s backside, now they where in private and new they wouldn’t be interupted he was able to let himself become fully erect and his member strained against the material of his pants. He wanted to focus on Skylar though, kiss and worship every inch of her.

He stood at full attention against her backside, and it only made her blush more. Each kiss and suck against her neck that left a hicky brightened her flush, and she groaned softly in bliss. That was his way of giving her lovebites, and she loved every bit of it. “Mmm… Ya ain’t bad lookin’ yourself.” She gave her breast one more gentle squeeze, beading milk on her nipple, before she slid her hands back to his pants. She undid his button, and freed the beast, letting him out to push against his boxers and more firmly into her backside. “Mmm, yes… Think of we were… Real gentle like, we might be able t’… Indulge a lil’ bit?” She asked as she rocked back into his shaft, her pants and panties sliding down with a shift of her hips.

She was slowly divesting herself and him of clothes. She loved his body just as much as he loved hers- she loved every inch of his pudge, his muscles, his fluff that Bella had a tendency to grab fistfuls of. Skylar loved it all because it was Hamish, and she loved Hamish.

His cock gave a pleased twitch at Skylars words. “Are you sure?” He asked, his fingers traveling down and hooking into the elastic of her maternity pants, pulling them down slightly. He kept watching her in the mirror and kissing her shoulder tenderly.

“Mhm. I don’t think I can ride ya though.” It would raise her blood pressure too fast for certain, and she’s fairly sure it would stress her body. “But… The tub has enough space for a lil’ bit o’ doggy style?” She winked at him through the mirror. The tub was, as promised, utterly massive. They wouldn’t have an issue with positions. As her pants slid down, she shimmied them the rest of the way and then stepped out of them. She stood bare before him, and shifted a little self-consciously. “I, ah… Ain’t been able t’ keep up with groomin’ down there since I can’t see, so I’m a bit… Fuzzy.” She admits shyly, scuffling her toes. She wasn’t going to ask her mother, or god forbid her brothers, to help her shave her lady bits.

Hamish chuckled and shook his head slightly against her shoulder. “I don’t mind about a bit of fuz…im pretty much covered in it.” he said. His shoul pounded against his chest, he was excited that Skylar felt up to trying sex, however he was a lot nervous, he didn’t want to hurt the babies. He kissed her shoulder while he unbuttoned and shrugged off his shirt then kicked off his pants and underwear. He brought his hands back to Skylar and ran the down her sides and under her belly, brushing his fingers briefly through the fuzz then dipped his hand down to her clit, rubbing it gently before dipping his hand down between her folds to brush his fingertip through the slick wetness. He purred, kissing her neck.

“Ah, that ya are.” She never thought she’d dig a man with so much body hair- but she loved every furry inch of her husband. He was great for cuddling in the winter. All of his fluff made him warm as heck.

As he stripped behind her, she gave him enough space so he could slip down to just his skin, and then smilrd as he pressed himself back to her. As his hands slid over her belly, work roughened by all He had done all of his life, she couldn’t help but shiver and let out a soft pleased sound. Her hands csme out to brace on the sink as his fingers slid along the sensitive underside of her belly, and then down into the nest of soft curls betwixt her legs. Her legs quivered as he brushed and rubbed her clit, and she couldn’t stop the breathy moan from falling from her lips. “A-ah~” she groaned softly, compensating with her arms for the sudden weakness in her legs as his hand sought out her warmth. She spread her legs for him, lashes resting at half mast as she arched for him, her back in a pretty bow. God, she had ached for his touch. It was like lightning after so long without it. “Mmm~”

He smiled against her shoulder. "You okay beautiful?” He asked, his voice taking a deeper lusty tone. His fingers brushed through the warmth before coming back up to hold her hips. He glance at the tub, it was about halfway full.

“Mhm.” She managed to gain her legs again as his hands returned to her hips. She teasingly rocked her backside back against his member, feeling his hardness pressing against her needily. “Just been too long without your touch. Darn near took my breath away. Everything’s real sensitive, n’ it feels amazing.” She sighed softly. She eyed the tub, and then quirked a smile. “Lets sit, yeah?” She could feel her blood pressure starting to rise, and not in a good way. “Can gauge how full we need t’ have it without makin’ a whole mess o’ the floors.” The tub was big enough that it had benches for sitting on- and the water went up just high enough to crest the tops of them. Skylar had an inkling that was perfect for their needs- she could brace her arms on the bench, leave her belly free floating, and let Hamish have his way with her. It really was mostly a hot tub that had been repurposed for use as a bath tub.

Hamish nodded and held her as she stepped in, making sure she wouldn’t slip, when he was sure she was settled in the water he joined her, easing himself in, he could feel all of his muscles loosen and relax, he let out a long and happy sigh.

He leant over Skylar, pressing his lips to hers in a hungry kiss. Using the edges of the tub to hold his frame above her.

Once she was settled, she couldn’t help but enjoy the hot water as it washed over her. It took the weight of her belly off of her spine, and the relief was palpable near instantly. She met his kiss with hungry ferocity though, her mouth nipping and nibbling at his. Her hands clung to him, fingers raking gently up and down his back as she held him close to her. She parted her legs to bring him closer, and angled her middle to try and keep it out of the way as best she could so she could kiss him.

It was a little tough pressing himself flush against her like he wanted too with her belly in the way, but feeling he swell of her belly against him was just another thing to add to the list of things that where turning him on…if he was unsure about his pregnancy kink before… He could confidently say he had one now. Seeing Skylar full of their babies, her legs parting for him, her breasts full and her cheeks flushed was the absolute most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

He reached down while he kissed her and pressed a finger against her clit again, rubbing in slow circles over the nub.

Skylar herself certainly enjoyed being pregnant. Her libido certainly never suffered- which was why it was horrible that she couldn’t absolutely ravish Hamish as often as her body wanted to. She was missing having her husband close- and not just for sex. His companionship was what she missed the most- their cute teasing, their light flirts. It made life fun.

As his fingers found her nub, Skylar’s legs twitched and her hips bucked, her mouth opening in a soft gasp for him as she rocked towards him needily. Shots of lightning rolled up her hips, tightening her pelvis and making her loins throb with desire. “Mmm~” His mouth swallowed her moan as she kissed him roughly.

Hamish drank up the sounds he drew out of her; he dipped his fingers down sliding one inside her. It would be much safer to see how she does with his fingers before they tried the real thing. She was wet enough that she could have probably taken him entirely right now.

He began adding more hickeys to the collection he had started.

Skylar’s head tilted to the side, horns clicking faintly on the tub as she gave him full access to her neck and shoulder. More hickies, more claims of her being his- she wanted them all. As one of his fingers rocked up inside of her, she rocked into him, her walls fluttering and grasping at him with desire. Her soft depths suckled his fingers, wishing for something longer and thicker, but willing to take what he would give. “Mmm, Hamish~” her legs hooked gently over his, spreading wide for him so he could have what access he needed. He could bend her or position her how he liked- so long as he touched her, Skylar would be fine with whatever he wanted. She just wanted him, however it was easier for him.

Hamish added a second finger a long side his first spreading her open. “What will be most comfortable for you?” He asked, pulling his fingers out after a short while of fingering her. His cock throbbed and twitched in the water, he wanted her so badly.

Skylar was panting and needy, and she damn near wanted to growl at him for pulling away from her when he did. His question bade her pause, and she blinked up at him slowly, taking a few feel breaths to calm her soul beats. “Mmm… Either on my front, or on my side. The bench is wide enough for either.” She gave him a needy look, and her hand came down to stroke his member. “Ya make the decision, sweetheart. Either works for me. Gotta be the left side if ya choose the side though.” Being on her right side cut off blood flow and would cause all sorts of problems. Left side was best.

He licked his lips and rubbed her legs. “Roll over onto your front.” He said, making a gesture with his hands. His face was flushed brightly, his soul beat loud enough he was sure Skylar would be able to hear the rapid thudding.

This close to him, she could hear it a little bit. Skylar smirked at him, and eye lights glimmering a bright and lusty shade as she watched him. His choice made her purr, and she did as told, backing them up just a little bit so she had some space to turn over. She carefully draped her arms over the side of the tub, facing her backside to him as her chest pressed against the padded backing of the tub. Her belly swung heavily below her, the water cradling the gravid sphere and keeping the weight off of her back as she stretched and parted her legs to welcome him closer to her once more. “This good, sweetheart~?”

He swallowed and nodded, looking down, he smoothed his hands over her ass giving it a squeeze. He bit his lip and pushed his hips forward letting his tip brush between her folds, he simply rubbed himself against her for a while before he finally moved one of his hands to his member and guided it inside her, easing in slowly. his palms pressed against her ass holding onto her hips, holding her in place as well as bracing himself to keep from trusting roughly.

The teasing of him just rubbing on her was almost a torture, her sensitive lips tingling with anticipation to take him deep inside of her. When he finally pushed in, he was larger than she had anticipated, or remembered. But God, it felt amazing. Skylar rocked her hips slowly as she took him slowly. Her walls fluttered around him to the beat of her soul, and Skylar couldn’t help but flush a bright blue as he worked his way in, squeezing her ass gently as he went.

He continued pushing in until he was flush against her, he leant over kissing her shoulders and adding more hickies, he stayed still for a moment to let Skylar adjust and to give himself a moment to compose himself so he wouldn’t just thrust into her. He took a deep breath. “God, sky.”

“I know, Haz. Mmm, it’s been far too long.” She panted softly. He filled her full, pressing up nearly to her core. Skylar groaned pleasantly as he pressed more hickies to her back, and reached back over her shoulder to drag one of his hands down to her belly. With him draped over her, he was in the prime position to feel the heavy sway of it as she rocked her hips slowly against him to let her body adjust to his girth.

Hamish groaned as he rubbed his hands over her belly, he pulled his hips back slowly and eased back in gently and slowly. He hugged around Skylar’s middle as he gently thrust in and out of her.

Skylar rocked against his thrusts, meeting each of them with a gentle roll of her hips. The slow and gentle pace was maddening- but it felt good. Each slow stroke of his cock inside of her enticed streaks of pleasure to race through her, like flashes of lightning across a stormy sky. Skylar rocked slowly back into him as he fondled her belly, the triplets shifting heavily in her belly under the touch of his hands. Her breasts swayed below her, heavy and full, but she could only hang onto the side of the tub as she panted and moaned softly with every stroke.

He could feel the triplets shifting slightly and he chuckled. Bella had done the same when they had fooled around during Skylar’s pregnancy. “I think I woke the boys up” he panted out with an amused smile. He stopped moving for a moment and let out a deep breath, the slow pace was keeping him on edge, he knew if he thrust faster he would be able to cum but he didn’t want to risk it… He moved his hands up to Skylar’s back, massaging his thumbs against her spine as he began thrusting again, slow and gentle still.

“I think ya did too,” She panted softly. “Squirmy, just like their big- mmmmnghhh…” Her words faded off as his hands kneaded right into her spine. Her head thumped down gently against the edge of the tub, and she let out a soft trembling breath as he attacked the muscles that were so sore and got very little reprieve from their toiling. “Mmm… More? Please?” Her hips were active against his own, aiding him in thrusting so he could multitask, but Skylar couldn’t deny that her muscles screamed a thank you for the rubbing he was giving them.

Her sudden noise almost gave him a heart attack but the request for more brought him back, his cock twitched. He kneaded his fingers into her back, if she kept making those kinds of sounds maybe he’d be able to get off he rocked his hips and worked his hands up and down her back.

He didn’t have any trouble wringing more of those sounds out of her. “Oh, Hamish, yes~” Her moans were soft and gentle, but came from deep within. She trembled under his touch, gasping as he would come across a new set of knots that needed undone. Her hips picked up the pace just a tad- not enough to hurt her, but enough to let him know she too was chasing that end that coiled heat in her belly like a red hot spring. Her shoulders trembled pleasantly before him, and his name fell from her lips quite often.

Hamish’s hips jerked forward slightly he froze. “Gh… sorry… fuck, Sky.” He leaned forward, resting his head on her shoulders. “You sound so fucking good.” He could feel himself right on the edge already.

“S'okay.” She panted. She rocked her hips against him again. “You can… Go a little faster. Just… Gentle and fast.” More or less, try not to ram her cervix, which this angle had him damn near pressing right up against when he hilted inside of her. “Slow is… Torture.”

Gentle and fast… He was still for a moment before pulling out and pushing back in however this time he didn’t fully hilt himself, he pushed in a little more then half way before pulling out again… it meant he would be able to go faster without pressing against her cervix. He jerked his hips his breath coming out shakily, his hands started walking on her back, the fact that her family may be able to hear them lost to him, he wanted to hear her telling him how good it felt.

The faster motion of his hips drew more moans out of her, pleasure zinging up and down her spine. Combined with the rubbing of her spine, however, and it earned him several delicious moans. “Oh god- Hamish yes, mmm… Shit- hah, you feel so, hah, thick, good, Mm…” Her voice was slightly muffled by her arms, but that didn’t mean she was necessarily quiet. Who cared if they traumatized her brothers a bit- her brothers would get over it. “Ah- Hamish please… So close… Bite?” Dull teeth would still feel great sunk into her shoulder alongside all of her hickies as he drove her gently but firmly into the side of the tub. And if he left a teeth mark- well, then she was just in luck then, wasn’t she?

Hamish’s whole body burned with heat, he was so close, she was so beautiful, at her request he leant forward and bit her shoulder, not hard enough to hurt her, just enough that she would feel a slight sting and pressure. His hips jerked against her as he tried to bring himself to finish, his body shivered in pleasure, just a little more and he would tip over the edge.

The bite was enough to toss her over with the onslaught of stimulus. Her body shook and trembled and Skylar clamped around his cock as she came hard, her walls milking him for all that he had to offer to her. Her mouth opened in a loud cry of his name- one that was decidedly not one of pain, even as her middle twinged just a bit. “Haaaaamish~!”

That was what he needed, he pressed himself fully inside her while he came along side her, wrapping his arms around her belly, smoothing his hands against the swell while he came. He ease himself out of her, any cum he still had mixing with the water. He rubbed his palm over her back. “You okay?” He said softly.

It took her a little bit to come down. Unlike him, she hadn’t indulged herself in any self play, so this was the first orgasm she’d had in months. She’d had a lot of pent up tension to work through lines that had gone without release for so long. It took her a moment to reorient herself and gather herself again. She was also a little dizzy from her blood pressure spiking, but it was an easy enough fix with her current position. When she wasn’t a panting, shivering mess anymore, she managed to shift and smile over her shoulder at him. Skylar gave him a thumbs up. “Mhmm. Peachy. Lil’ achy, but boy… That was good. Gentle was good. Hah… Wow… Words… How do words?” If that didn’t inflate his ego some, she didn’t know what would.

Hamish’s chest swelled with pride as she stroked his ego, he trailed kisses up her back, he couldn’t get enough of her. He looked down at her belly and chuckled. “Did daddy bother you three?” He cooed, feeling the boys shifting, their little limbs stretching and adjusting as they got comfortable again inside Skylar.

She shifted and moved to sit down, needing it after an intense workout like that. It gave him access to her belly, and let him see that Baby C was going to town with kicking at her ribs with tiny but strong nudges. “I think we bothered them.” She laughed a little breathlessly, and leaned back to catch her breath. The water covered a good part of her belly, trembling each time one of the boys shifted. Skylar suddenly snorted. “Hey Haz? I’m a skele-submarine with a full crew.” She grins cheekily.

Hamish’s mouth curled up, he laughed and rested his head against hers. He watched the almost alien like movements the triplets caused in his wife’s belly. He leant down and kissed the part of her belly not covered by water. “Are you bothered, little boys?” He asked, rubbing over the little bulges showing up under her flesh.

She was already packed tight, and still had so much more to grow. They booted at Hamish’s fingers, not used to his voice when it wasn’t being translated through a speaker on a phone. Skylar laughs gently. “I think so. They’re hard pressed for space as it is. Thankfully, ultrasounds are showing that they’re all three still growing at a normal rate. Doctor says it’s 'cause I’m such a large bodied woman.” At six foot two, there was a lot of space in her abdominal cavity for them to grow. “Which is good. I want them t’ get as big as they can, no matter how uncomfortable it might be for me. Bigger they are, more likely they are t’ be healthy and not need t’ go t’ the hospital.”

Hamish listened to Skylar as he watched her belly. He was going to miss her, Bella and the boys when he had to leave tomorrow. It wouldn’t be too much longer, one the house was safe and livable again he would be able to bring them home. Even if things weren’t completely finished, like installing the furniture, they could just close of a door to that section of the house to keep Bella out of there. He just wanted them home.

Skylar watched his face, and reached a hand up to cup his cheek. She stroked his cheek gently, touching him affectionately. “… What are ya thinkin’?” She questions, running her fingers tenderly though his beard. She was glad it was back- he really did look better with it. She loved him however he looked, though.

“That the boys need to hurry up and finish the house so I can bring you and Bella home.” He said softly, eyes drifting faintly closed. He loved when she played with his beard, it was soothing.

She twirled her fingers through his beard tenderly, making sure not to get tangled in any tiny snares and knots he might have, and stroking her digits over his cheek with gentle affection. Skylar watched him relax under her touch, and pulled him closer so he could cuddle up to her properly. She nestled close to him with a soft hum. “Well, I agree with ya there. I’d love t’ have it done soon… ’M roundabouts twenty weeks. Probably got another fifteen 'f I’m lucky before these three decide t’ come. So long as there ain’t no monumental setbacks though, we should have both Bella and me home in ten weeks time- right?”

“That’s the plan.” He said snuggling to her side. He let his eyes close a she relaxed with her in the tub. He smiled and let out a short laugh, hearing Bella squealing from other rooms in the house.

Thomas’ laughter could be heard with Bella’s, and the two sounds made Skylar smile. “Good. I’d like t’ just be able t’ go home with ya now since ya ain’t doing anything with asbestos anymore, but…” She sighed softly, and snuggled into him. “I cant keep up with Bella t’ keep an eye on her, n’ she’d get into all sorts o’ trouble.” She wasn’t ashamed to admit that she couldn’t do what she used to. Well… Mostly ashamed. “Not t’ mention a work place isn’t a stress free environment.” She laughed faintly. “Doctor got on me about that down at Lola’s. Was trying t’ do more than I should and help her cause she’s by bestie and she’s pregnant too… Got me a scolding.”

He hummed kissing her cheek. “They should have the roof on once I get back, it’s just the flooring… the main house would be fine, I just worry about all the dust that’s still floating around from the plaster… and the fumes from the glues and shit they’re using. Otherwise I’d bring you home tomorrow.”

“Yeah… That’s not good for me t’ breathe in. Or for Bella t’ be breathing in. I don’t need breathing problems on top o’ blood pressure problems.” She sighs and snuggles up to him, tucking her head against his neck and letting her horns cradle the side of his skull. “I wanna go home so bad… Here is one of my homes too, but… True home is with you.”

Hamish idly rubbed her belly, his face blank slightly in thought. “I’m sure Ava is trying to go as quick as he can, this has been his longest time away from Lola and he’s ready to go home too.”

“She’s ready for him t’ be home. Alex too. He misses his daddy.” Skylar enjoys the belly rub, and closes her eyes with a soft pleased sigh. “At least Lola can visit fairly often though.” It wasn’t all that horribly long of a drive from her house out to the ranch- not like the drive from Skylar’s mother’s home out to Hamish’s place. “Shouldn’t be too long though. Mm… Still glad ya could make it up here for Bella’s birthday though.”

He nuzzled his forehead against Skylar’s horns. “There was no way I was going to miss my little girls birthday.” He spotted the bar of soap and a sponge and smiled, moving from Skylar to pick them up, dunking them both in the water then lifting them out, rubbing the soap against the sponge and getting a frothy mound of bubbles. he took Skylar’s hand lifting her arm out of the water and washed her arm, then chest, and then her other arm. He let her hold his shoulders so she could stand while he lathered her belly in the bubbles. Hamish then helped her sit back down, and then carefully lifted her legs out of the water to wash them too, and then had her turn so he could wash her back.

Washing her felt extremely intimate- and he enjoyed every moment of relearning his wife’s changing body.

Letting him wash her was extremely intimate. He was the only one she let do this outside of her mother- and her mother only helped because Skylar had limited areas she could reach with how utterly massive she was. Skylar sighed pleasantly and relaxed as his hands worked over her with a lathery rag. She relaxed more and more under his touch, and slowly tried to reciprocate for him. “Mmm~”

he dipped the sponge in the water and drizzled the water over Skylar’s shoulders to rinse the bubbles away then lent in to kiss her again. He pulled away at the sound of light tapping on the door, he looked over, he could see the shadow of someone standing outside the at the bottom of the door.

He glanced at Skylar.

“Hello!” Came Bella’s voice from the other side.

Hamish snorted.

Skylar glanced at Hamish and giggled. She opened her mouth to reply to her daughter, but someone else beat her to it.

A daintier set of feet was visible just on the other side of the door. “Hey now, whippersnapper. Did ya escape your uncles?” Vera cooed. “Your Mama and Daddy are having some adult time. So, why don’t'cha n’ I go play with the toy your daddy got ya?”

Hamish grinned looking at Skylar, he loved his little girl so much, it would be nice when their new bathroom was finished and their new bath would be put in the bath he had ordered was big enough that him Skylar and Bella plus the triplets could all bath together comfortably.

Vera scooped up Bella, and stole her away.

Skylar snickered. “Ma to the rescue. I can’t wait until we can all bathe t'gether. You, me, Bella, ans the triplets. Boy, we’re gonna have a full house. Heh… Did ya decide on a tub, by the way? Get a good 'n big one?”

Hamish nodded. "Nice and comfy, not at big as this… but big enough for our family.” He said. “We’re going to have a bunch of extra rooms until we can fill them all too.” He said, rubbing his hand over Skylar’s belly. “I was thinking because we’ll be moving our room upstairs we could turn our old room into a playroom for the kids.” He suggested.

“Hm… I like that idea. Maybe get some o’ those indoor play sets for the kids so they can romp when it’s too cold for them t’ be outside.” She agreed. She then snickered. “Ya know… When I get home, I’m not gonna be able t’ get up and down the stairs without ya help and supervision, right? I cant see my feet now. Imagine me ten weeks from now.” There was a reason she was on the ground floor of the house instead of in her old room and effectively banned from the upper two floors. At thirty weeks she was going to be huge.

“I wont put our stuff upstairs until the boys are born.” He looked down, it seemed like the boys had fallen back asleep again. He couldn’t wait to meet them.

One of the triplets kicked, but it was a lazy, tired kick. They had worn themselves out with their furry of activity after their parent’s shenanigans. Baby B still let his daddy know he was sort of awake by shifting under his palm while his brothers slept. “Mmm… I’d kinda like t’ be upstairs for it, honestly. Maybe it’s nesting, I dunno.” Her fingers twitch slightly and she sighs. “Hormones kinda suck. I keep getting the urge t’ nest, but I am neither home, nor do I have the energy t’ be bent over mopping the floors or rearranging the cushions. I just wanna be somewhere that’s ours.”

Hamish kissed her forehead. “If you’d like to be upstairs I’ll ask Hamish to help my move the bed up there.” He shook his head in amusement, you need to take it easy, when you’re home I’ll be there to help you nest.

“Ava is a good man. When the room is ready for ya, then yeah. If I’m gonna be settling down for bed rest, I wanna be in our room.” She nods lightly, and then quirks a smile at him. “Mmm… Probably the worst we’ll be doin’ is cleaning and making sure stuff is good t’ go for the boys t’ be here. Gotta set up Bella’s room, and then th’ nursery.”

Hamish kissed her cheek. “The time will go quicker than you think, and then you’ll be home and we can relax and prepare.”

“Yeah.” She smiles and then just kisses him firmly with a soft pleased sound. “It’ll be nice t’ be home with ya.”

“I can’t wait for you to come home.” He said, then sunk unto the water, stretching his back letting the warmth cradle him as he spine popped.

She listened to his spine pop, and then slid her hands to his shoulders. She couldn’t pull him flush to her, but her belly wasn’t so big as to block her reach completely yet. Skylar slid her hands into his shoulders and began to massage him gently. “I cant wait t’ be home. Now hold still. It’s your turn. Ya been doin’ a lot more work than I have, n’ ya back has t’ be sore.” She hummed tenderly and started to work on him.

Hamish lets out a happy sigh and lets Skylar massage his shoulders.

She works her way down his back. She might not have been able to exercise like she used to, but she hadn’t lost any of the strength in her hands. She made sure that she went after any knots she found, and worked them out of his back. “If ya need your back popped before ya go, Adam n’ Greg are real good at doin’ that.” She hums softly to him. “S’ a back popping done bear hug style. It’s pretty neat.” She chuckles.

He thought of having one of Skylar’s brothers hug him hard enough to pop his back made him laugh. For now though he enjoyed the feeling of Skylar’s hands on his back.

Skylar hummed, and rubbed her toes along his legs as she rubbed. Her belly bumped against his lower back, but there was nothing to be done for it. As She rubbed, she leaned forwards and slowly kissed along the back of his neck, nibbling gently with her teeth to tease him as she helped him relax. Skylar was forever a tease, after all.

Hamish looked down into the water at her feet then shivered slightly at her kisses. “Careful Sky. I don’t think a round two would be good for you.”

“You’re right.” She sighs softly, her breath wafting over the back of his neck. She grins all the same into the back of his neck, and continues her massage downwards, and lightly squeezes his ass before massaging at his lower back. He had a fantastic ass- just like she did. Spending all your life in a saddle with their kind of work gave one fabulous legs. “But… That doesn’t mean ya can’t have a round three. My mouth works just fine.” She licked her tongue up the side of his neck, teasing along his bones slightly as she rubbed her toes along his. “Unless you’re spent?” He was only good for usually two rounds at most. Sometimes three if he was particularly randy that night.

Having been away from his wife so long meant that he had a slight boost in stamina and his member was definitely interested in her suggestion. He turned his head slightly. "Only if you’re offering.”

“I wouldn’t have said a word if I wasn’t offering.” She purred. Her mouth opened, and she placed soft open mouthed kissed along his neck, her teeth scraping gently along his bones and leaving small marks to show that he was hers, just like his hickies marked her as his. Skylar shifted and hummed. “Tub has a wide edge, if ya wanna take a seat on the rim. I cant hold my breath long enough t’ do stuff underwater.” She chuckled. Her hands slid around his back, stroking over his belly and then down to his member which was rising once more. She stroked him gently. “I’ve missed pleasing you.”

Hamish swallowed hard and moved to sit on one of the edges. “Are you sure it’s safe for you?” He asked looking down into the water at the hand that was stroking him back to hardness.

“I’ll be real careful. ‘M not big enough t’ be bothered by bein’ on my hands ‘n knees yet.” She winks at him lightly, and then settles between his legs as he hops up onto the edge. She continues to stroke him, teasing him back towards hardness as her belly bumps his legs. “Jus’ don’t kick, n’ we’ll be good.”

Hamish smiles down at her, his cheeks warm. it didn’t take him long to be hard again, his erection standing tall under the bath water.

Skylar smiled once he was standing tall, and winked up at him. She leaned down after taking a deep breath of air, and slid her mouth around the tip, bobbing her mouth down around him gently. Her teeth scraped over him carefully, and left teasing trails along his member as she her tongue along the bottom of his length. Skylar lightly hoped he didn’t recall her earlier admissions of her failed attempts at learning to do this- and that if he did, it didn’t ruin the mood.

She hummed softly in the back of her throat, looking up at him through her lashes as she worked.

Hamish swallowed hard, looking down at Skylar as she worked on him. He kept out hand on the wall of the tub to keep him from slipping and brought the other up to hold one of her horns. He knew she liked it when he was a little rough with her and so gave them a slight tug.

She winked up at him with a soft smirk around him. Skylar was careful to keep her jaw slack, lest his tugging on her horn snip him for good. She lathed him with her tongue, working up and down and sucking gently. Her hands massaged his thighs, letting her thumbs brush over his testicles as she sucked. She had to take moments to get breaths of air- but was back down mostly under the water moments later.

Hamish’s eyes lidded. Skylar performing on him like this was a rare event due to her teeth and she when she decided she was up to it, he savored every moment of it. Her mouth always felt amazing on him, the feeling of her mouth around him, her tongue and even the light touch of her teeth against his skin was exciting. It added an element of danger that he actually found exciting.

Skylar kept her eyes on his, her eye lights glimmering like pools below the shadows of her lashes. Her Mama once told her that eye contact could change the whole experience- something about it being hypnotic if done right. Some guys liked it, some didn’t. Hamish didn’t seem to mind it, as far as she could tell. So she kept her eyes on his even as she swirled her tongue up along his tip as her head lifted out of the water so she could inhale again. She could taste faints bits of soap along with the main taste of him, and she did not mind it in the least.

She hummed softly around him as she took him deep again, swallowing around his length.

Hamish bit his lip, feeling himself throb when Skylar looked up at him. His mouth curled up into a smile. “Mmh, Sky.” He sighed, his eyes lidding slightly, his mouth hung open so he could take deep breaths as he soaked up the feelings she brought to him.

Skylar stroked one hand up along his hips and pelvis, teasing her fingers over his belly as her head bobbed and took him deep. Her jaw was stretched taut to fit him without cutting him, but she’d grown more flexible over the months she’d been with him- she could do more and more each time she took him. Her free hand cupped his sack, rubbing him gently with her palm. Her fingers slid behind his balls, stroking over the sensitive skin laying just behind it. She hummed and teased her teeth down his shaft again, scraping just gently as she savored his deep breaths and little noises. “Mmm~” She purred around him.

Hamish bit his lip hard. “A-ah… Sky… fuck…” The hand on her horn squeezed lightly. He was beginning to feel the tingling of a building orgasm.

She smirked around his member and then leaned up. She let him pop out of her mouth, and just teasingly stroked him a little bit while she caught her breath for just a moment. She knew he was close- she could see it in the reddening of his skull. Was she edging him? Maybe a little bit. “Don’t mind if ya squeeze- but be careful tuggin’ on my horns.” She purred at him, and teasingly lapped at his tip. She was an awful tease, honestly. Where she got it from, she had no idea.

Hamish’s chest heaved with each breath, his head all the way down to his shoulders was covered in a bright red blush. He let out a long sigh, watching her the whole time. He challenged her words slightly by tugging her horn to tip her head back slightly, bringing his other hand to his member, holding it around the middle so he could rub his tip against her lips and tongue. His brows pushed together slightly.

Skylar teased her tongue against the slit of his cock, and winked up at him as he challenged her words. He did sometimes like to live dangerously, and he liked to test his limits. Her mouth slid open, and she leaned down a little to scrape just the edges of her teeth along the tip of his shaft, ghosting her breath along his member as she teased him. She enjoyed his flush, and she hoped he enjoyed the dusting of blue that tinged her face in a beautiful flush. Her tongue lathed over his member, and she kissed the tip gently, before opening her mouth and taking him deep again. “Mmm~” She did so love teasing him. She couldn’t edge him for as long as she would like- her back wouldn’t let her- but she could tease him a little bit.

He rubbed her skull and let out a long breath. “Sky~” he sighed lovingly, watching her. God damn she was beautiful at everything she did. How did he get so lucky, it could have been any girl out by the stockyards that day, and he happened to be there the day the prettiest girl, in the world was there too.

Her skull tilted into his touch, and her lips fluttered along his length as she eased down. As his length touched the back of her throat, she swallowed him down and purred around him. She loved when he sighed like that… It let her know she was doing her job right.

His hips jerked forward on their own and his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. “I’m sorry.” He wheezed, cupping her cheek.

She strained to open her jaw further as his hips jerked, and managed to make sure that she would not cut him with her teeth. Her mouth cradled him as he cupped her cheek, and she wiggled a brow at him before. She bobbed and sucked, setting a pace to drive him over the edge. Her hands settled on his hips however, firm grasp holding him still and keeping him from castrating himself.

Fuck she was good, she was amazing. He tipped his head back but to the side slightly so he’d still be able to watch her. He could feel it, any second now he would come undone.

Skylar rocked her mouth on his shaft, and rubbed her fingers along his thighs. She pulled up long enough to take a breath, and then downed him again. She kept her eyes on his and bobbed her head with a steady sucking rhythm. She hummed intermittently, readying herself to accept his load.

He grabbed her horns and grunted flooding her mouth with his load. “Mhm!”

She swallowed it down with a soft thrum, and then cleaned him with a few gentle swipes of her tongue. As she leaned her mouth back, letting him pop back out of her lips, she sat back up and swallowed again as she cleaned her mouth. “Mmm~”

He sighed happily and sunk down into the bath water with a cocky smirk spread across his face.

Skylar straightened up, and then wiggled right into his lap. She draped against him, feeling his softening member against her backside, and gave him a lazy smirk. “Enjoy yourself?” She purred.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. “Mmm, you’re amazing.” He mumbled between kisses, still riding the tingling high of his orgasm.

She giggled softly and cuddled into his chest. “So are you. I love ya, Haz. Hopefully we’ll have sated some o’ your pent up urges.” She purrs.

He chuckled. “I think I’ll be satisfied enough to get me through until you come home.” He laughed and pressed his mouth over hers, the bath water had begun to go cold, not uncomfortable but it was no longer a warm bath, it was almost refreshing with how hot Hamish’s body felt.

Skylar was half leeching his warmth in the chill of the tub, and half sharing the mass of heat that made up her abdomen. The triplets produced a massive amount of heat that usually killed her in the outside heat. “Good.” She laughs lightly. She rubs her fingers through the hair on his chest, and gives him a tender, sensuous kiss. “Should keep you sated… Until I give ya more pictures.” She giggles.

His smile grew wider. He nuzzled her horns. “You getting cold?” He asked. Ready to help her out of the bath. His stomach twisted slightly with nerves, that had been kinda loud, and knowing Skylar’s brothers they would give him shit.

“A little. All save the oven in my belly.” She smooches his cheek and cuddles closer, enjoying the growth of his smile as it crawled across his face. “Ya know… Ya have a handsome smile. I love your smile.”

He pulled the plug and stood up getting himself out of the bath before helping Skylar. He grabbed a towel for her and himself, wrapping it around himself. And began drying himself off. “Do you think your brothers will have deodorant I can use.”

“They should.” She nods, and wreathes herself in the fluffy towel. While he dries off, she roots around in the cupboard behind the mirror, and hums. “Ya can use mine if ya don’t wanna smell like my brothers. But lets see… ya got ya choices of Ode de Adam, Thomas, or Greg.” Adam tended to smell of a light musk. Thomas was more of a fruity smell. Greg had an earthy scent.

He rubbed himself dry. “Which one do you like best?” He asked, bending over to dry off his legs.

“That’s a good question.” She hummed. She quietly sniffed them, and looked them over, before glancing at him. “Maybe the musky smell Adam uses.” She uncaps it and offers it out. “I don’t think any o’ my brothers stink, but a musk is not a bad scent.”

Hamish took the offered deodorant and sprayed himself, he had brought another outfit but had left his bag in his car, so for now he dressed himself in the outfit he was wearing before. His cheeks stayed flushed as he watched Skylar the towel struggling to cover the swell of her belly.

The towel slipped off when she stretched up to exchange the deodorant for her own. She simply sighed in amusement as she dabbled hers on, and then finished drying herself off. She glanced at him, and then worked to try and get herself dressed again. “Careful Haz, or you’ll be standing at attention again.”

“I think I’m spent.” He said, combing his beard with his fingers. “Do you need any help?” He asked.

Skylar took a moment to fling a comb to him from the cupboard, and then went back to getting her shirt and bra on. “I need help with m’ pants.” She admits. “And I dunno. Four orgasms in a day- its a record for ya. We’ll see if we can wring some more out o’ ya tonight.” She winks. “Want t’ say I left ya more than sated when ya go back.” He’d have all the bragging rights.

Hamish ran the comb through his beard then moved to Skylar’s side. “I’m sure after a bit of a rest and a meal I’ll be good to go again.” He helped her into her pants he moved to kiss her when a little voice was back outside the door. “Dada.” Bella whined, her little knuckles tapping on the door. Hamish laughed. “We’re coming out now baby. Hang on.” He unlocked and open the door, scooping his daughter up into his arms.

“We’ll see.” She smiled slightly, and then scooted over to Hamish when he scooped up Bella. She leaned in to smooch her daughter’s skull, and then smiled up at Hamish.

Adam peered around the door, but had his eyes covered. “Please tell me you’re both decent, and I ain’t gonna have t’ try and find Bella with my eyes covered.”

Hamish grinned. “I’m butt-naked Adam. Better keep those eyes closed boy.” He snuggled his daughter and gave Adam a firm pat on the back as he walked past.(edited)

Adam froze up and frowned behind his hand. “Ya better hope Ma don’t see ya streaking. She’s wicked fast with snapping a wet towel. And she don’t miss.”

“He’s not naked, Adam.” Skylar snickers. “He’s yankin’ ya chain, little bro.”

Adam huffs and uncovers his eyes. He leers at Hamish as he walks past. “Oooh boy, ya better be ready t’ get it when ya ain’t holding my cute lil’ niece.”

“Bella will protect me, won’t you?” He nudged. Bella nodded and laid her head against her daddy’s chest, poking her tongue out at Adam.

Adam stuck his tongue out right back at her, and blew a wet raspberry at her. “She’ll be at the mercy o’ the tickle monster if she tries.” He wiggles his fingers playfully.

Skylar snickered and hip checked her brother. She waddled past and paused, rubbing her temple. Boy, bath time hasn’t been so much relaxing as it had been relaxing with work attached. “So, you want to go outside before the two o’ you get into mischief? Or ya gonna behave?”

Hamish turned. “Depends on what Adam plans to do. Will I need to run?” Hamish asked, shifting Bella in his arms. He walked back out to the main room where everyone else seemed to be.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on chasing you.” Adam grins crookedly. “I was thinking of tossing you over my shoulder and ruffling ya feathers.”

“Would put his backside in paddling range.” Skylar grins. The living room had her mother in it, who was busy pouring over some books with numbers. Skylar took the lack of her other brothers to go ease down onto the couch. She wiggled her fingers at Bella. “Enjoying cuddling ya daddy, baby girl?”

Bella smiled and clung to Hamish. “Love dada” she cooed.

“I love Daddy too.” She smiles, and pats the couch next to her. “Wanna sit next t’ Mama?”

Adam chuckles and plops on the floor near Skylar’s feet. He relaxes and hums. “Hmm.”

Bella tugged Hamish’s shirt and pointed at the couch, Hamish sat down next to Skylar, Bella crawled across Hamish and looked at Skylar’s belly. “Baba?” She said, pulling Skylar’s shirt up so she could look at the swell.

Skylar took care to make sure that Bella didn’t flash her bra to her family, and carefully tucked her shirt at the top of her belly as Bella crawled across her father. “Yep. Babies are in here. They’re gonna get lots bigger though.” She hums warmly to her daughter, and drapes a leg over Hamish’s leg.

“Do you know how many babies are in there, Bella.” He asked.

She looked up at him. She held up her hand, spreading all her fingers.

Hamish laughed. “No, not five.” He held her wrist and helped her lower two fingers to make three. “This many.”

She looked at her little fingers then turned to Skylar and poked her belly.

“Tch- gentle, Bella.” Hamish scolded gently.

Skylar grunted slightly at the poke. It woke one of the boys up though, and Bella was rewarded with a tiny kick to her fingers. “Gotta be gentle, baby girl. Babies are very… Breakable. Can ya feel him kickin’?”

Adam elbowed Hamish’s leg lightly from where he relaxed on the floor. “Pretty sure sis would castrate ya if ya put five in her.” He snickers.

“I’d castrate myself.” He said. Five babies at once were too much. He couldn’t even imagine what that would be like.

Bella grinned and laid her head on Skylar’s belly, feeling her brother’s kicks on her face.

“It’s not out o’ the realm o’ possibilities though.” Adam snickers. “I mean… Greg’s got five on the way. So, ya better watch out.”

Skylar lightly kicked her brother, and smoothed her hand over Bella’s skull as she felt the boys kicking her lightly. “Ronnie’s got multiples on her side too- Haz n’ I only got it from one side, ya dunce. Five ain’t gonna happen. Maybe twins, but I doubt we’ll ever even have triplets again.” She rolls her eyes lightly.

While the adults talked Bella suddenly lowered herself off the couch and rushed across the room. She shuffled behind the other couch and then she squatted down.

Hamish raised a brow at her. This was something new to him. “What’s she doing?” He asked.

His question what pretty much answered when Bella let out a soft grunt as she filled her diaper.

Skylar shifted and made to get up. “That would be her filling her diaper. Adam, lemme up.”

“Ah, no, you’re not on diaper duty sis.” Adam grunted and shifted to stand on his own. “Ya ain’t supposed t’ be lifting her anyways, and she’s the wiggliest thing.”

Hamish jumped up. “No… I wanna do it.” He said. “I haven’t been here to do anything for weeks. I should do it.” He said, holding his hands out like he was going to attempt to hold Adam back. He turned and walked over to the couch, leaning over it to look down at Bella, she was still squatting behind the couch but tipped her head back to look up at him. “Are you stinky?” He asked.

She shook her head no.

Hamish reached down and lifted her up, laughing. She had locked her legs in squatting position so when he lifted her she stayed balled up instead of letting her legs go floppy like she usually would. He glanced at Skylar. “Where is her changing stuff?” He asked.

“Her changing stuff is in my room.” Skylar grunts as Adam sits back down and pins her legs in place. “Adam, ya big lout, why so ya have t’ hold me pinned like this?”

“Because I love ya and it’s good for ya.” He huffs slightly. He glances up at Hamish. “Good luck. She’s got a stinky butt.”

Hamish laughed and kissed Bella’s nose. “That’s okay, daddy doesn’t mind.” He carried her back to Skylar’s room and found the changing stuff, laying it out on the floor before laying Bella down and taking her pants off. He pushed her shirt up out of the way then undid her diaper and opened it up.

He bit his lip when the smell hit him and Bella just looked up at him with wide eyes. He grabbed at the wet wipes and set to work cleaning her up. She laid there like a good girl as he cleaned her up. When he had seen her last trying to change her diaper was a nightmare; she constantly tried to roll over and run away, but now, she clearly realized having a dirty bum didn’t feel very nice and thus stayed still to be cleaned up.

He made sure he had wiped her clean completely, and then folded all the wipes up into the dirty diaper and put it in one of the diaper disposal bags. He grabbed out a fresh diaper, shook a bit of power over the area that would cover her, and then did up the new diaper. It was then that she rolled herself over and stood up, rushing out of the room before he could try and put her pants back on. He picked up the bag holding the dirty diaper and brought it out to put in the bin, holding her pants in the other hand.

Skylar found her lap full of pants-less baby as she scampered over Adam and onto her Mama’s lap. Skylar grunted and gently bundled her into her side. “Were ya a good girl for daddy?”

She giggled and glanced at her father as he came out with her pants and diaper. “Yuh.”

Hamish laughed and tossed the pants over the couch, making her giggle when they landed on her head. He put the diaper in the bin then walked back over to the couch. He eyes Adam slightly. He wasn’t holding Bella anymore and if Adam was serious on his threat, then now would be his moment to strike.

Adam eyed him back and smirked. He casually sprawled out where he was, and then tapped his toes on the floor. The bull was ready to pounce.

“Dada!” She made grabby hands at Hamish. Bella gave him a gap toothed smile and giggled. “Dada snuggle babas?”

“Yeahhh, is dada gonna go cuddle his babies?” Adam grinned, dark blue eyes twinkling.

Hamish raised a suspicious brow and moved around to the other side of the couch. He squinted slightly, keeping an eye on Adam. Hamish would have to step over him to get to where he could sit on the couch. He stopped and took the daring step to get over Adam.

Hamish would find his legs swept smoothly out from under him, and Adam was quick to make sure that Hamish wouldn’t crack his skull open on the floor. But that left him wrapping around the smaller man like a great big octopus. The name of the game was play, after all, not to leave Hamish a drooling vegetable because he got brained.

Hamish let out a surprised yelp as he tumbled to the floor, he tried to squirm around to fight back against Adam who’s giant body pretty much swallowed him. He pushed against the other man letting out and laugh.

Adam looped his arm around Hamish’s neck, knocking the other man’s hat off, and then gave him a noogie as he laughed.

Skylar snickered, and then gently dug her toes into Hamish’s ribs, double-teaming him as best she could.

Hamish arched his back and let out a choked laugh. His cheeks turned red when Skylar joined in, her toes having the double effect of tickling him even more but also flustering him.

Hamish’s laugh made Skylar giggle, and she tickled him again. “Everyone gets tickled.”

“You’re the exception t’ that, dear.” Vera hums, not even batting an eye at the shenanigans happening not far from her as she turns the page in her books and writes down something. “You’d probably wet yourself.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” Adam grinned. He wriggled his hands down, catching Hamish under the armpit and poking him there as well.

Hamish snorted and squirmed trying to get away from the assault of tickles. “Gh!”

Adam eventually rolled them over, and then shifted onto his feet. He hefted Hamish up over his shoulder, and grinned down at Skylar. “Ya want t’ paddle him?”

Skylar guffaws. “Why don’t ya just plop him down and lemme cuddle him? I can paddle his fanny later if I want t’ do it.”

Hamish’s face turned red as he hung over his brother in laws shoulder, he braced his hands on Adams lower back and twisted himself to try and look at Skylar. “I’m not use to being this high.” He wheezed.

“Oh?” Adam grins. “You’re not, huh?” He hefts a hand under his shoulders and under his hips, and then he grunts and lifts Hamish up above his head. “How about now? Surely ya been on roofs higher than this.” He teases.

Skylar nudges her brother’s leg. “Don’t bully my husband ya big lout, or I’ll tell Lily you’re bein’ mean.”

Hamish grunted gripping Adams arm. Bells squealed happily looking up at her daddy, she stood up on the couch and bounced reaching up to him. “Careful where you put your hand.” Hamish grumbled, trying to shift. “You’re going to squash my junk.”

Adam grunted and shifted him, bouncing him around so his hand was on his ass and not near his junk. “I don’t wanna touch nothing that’s been near my sister’s bits. Ick.” He huffed. He shifted, grinned at Skylar, and then lifted Hamish over the couch. Then he dropped him, making sure he was well out of the way of hitting Skylar.

Hamish landed on the couch and laughing. “Pretty sure all of me has been near her bits Adam.” He said, standing himself up. “You wanna hug.” He grinned, holding his arms out. “Maybe a kiss on the cheek.” He said, poking his tongue out.

“Oh shove off, ya ass.” Adam stuck his tongue right back out at him and ruffled the top of his skull, before reclaiming his seat on the floor. “Don’t ya dare. Don’t want none o’ ya married people cooties.”

“Technically you’re a 'married people cootie’.” Vera snorts.

Skylar giggles and cuddles Bella. “And we’ve got the cutest cootie o’ them all.”

Hamish pulled Bella onto his lap and smooched her skull. “Let daddy see how big you are.” He said, she stood up on his lap, him holding her middle to keep her balanced. “Wow, you’re so big.” He said, she balled her hands into little fists and flexed showing him her 'muscles’ “I bet you’re almost as strong as Mamma, huh?” He said and Bella nodded. Hamish just laughed and smiled up at her, he didn’t want to leave tomorrow, he wished he could stay.

Skylar shifted and cuddled into his shoulder as he hefted up Bella. “She’s gonna be taller than even me, I think. Maybe by an inch or two.”

“Yuh!” Bella cooed happily and bounced happily on her daddy’s lap.

Hamish held her as she bounced on his lap. “You’re almost big enough to bring me a beer.” He joked. Bella held her arms out and wiggled her hips dancing as she bounced.

Skylar snorted and smacked his arm. “None of that. She’s not gonna get ya a beer until she’s old enough t’ know what it is.” She chuffed, amused

“Beeeeb!” Bella coed, babbling it as she swayed back and forth on his lap, her diapered bottom sticking out.

“See, she knows what it is.” He laughed. “Just promise me you wont drink any yourself until you’re at least…30.” He decided. He had started drinking with his dad… defiantly a lot younger than he was legally allowed. It was all at home and under parental supervision so technically it was okay… but look at him now, if he didn’t have at least five beers throughout a weekend he didn’t feel like he hadn’t had a successful weekend.

Bella contemplated her Daddy for a moment and then beamed at him. “No!” She chirps.

Skylar guffaws, belly heaving with laughter ad her daughter innocently denies her dad a promise. “Oh golly. She sure told you.”

“T’ be fair, I’m sure ya we’re drinking younger than that. I know Sky did.” Vera snorts. “She was drunk when she got her scar. Never drank that heavy again afterwards” time I got drunk I was fourteen.” He said and hen cringed. It sounded a lot worse coming out of his mouth.

“Had my first drink with my da when I was that age.” Skylar nods. “Had it when the boys where brought home from the hospital.” She quirks a faint smile. “All the same, I don’t drink like I used t’ do. One cracked skull was enough t’ sober a woman up.”

“I hope to keep this little woman sober.” He said when Bella started dancing again. “No drinking, no wild parties, and no boys.” He said. Bella just smiled a cheeky smile at him. “I’m being serious Bella Parker.” This just made her giggle. He couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t taking him seriously. “Bella, you have to promise daddy.”

She just shook her head and continued her little dance.

“Aww c'mon sweetheart. She’s already flirting with the neighbor boy. She smooches poor Alex lots, and sometimes the poor boy dunno what t’ do with all the attention. Right Bella? Ya like giving kisses?”

“Yuh!” Bella nodded and leaned forward, trying to give her Daddy a kiss.

Hamish huffed slightly. “You’re too young to be kissing any other boys but your daddy.” He said, pulling her close, his lips assaulting her little face with kisses.

She squealed and returned his kisses with gusto. Peppering him with oodles of kisses, Bella clung to his beard and latched onto his face. “Mine.” She claims. “My Dada. Mine.” She smooches his face. “All mine.”

“Not gonna share with Mama?” Skylar grins.

“Mmmmnn…” Bella peered at her and squinted. “Yuh. Dada mine, mama mine. Mine, mine, mine!”

Hamish laughed, wrapping his arms around his little girl. “Is daddy allowed to kiss mama?” He asked, leaning closer to Skylar.

“Hm…” Bella squinted at him and pursed her little lips. She wiggled in his arms and patted his chest. “Yuh. Dada 'n Mama kissies.”

“That’s a good girl.” She smiles at her warmly, and purses her lips at Hamish, leaning up to kiss him gently.

Hamish grinned and leant in to meet Skylar’s lips, Bella laying against Hamish’s chest watching them.

Skylar moved her mouth gently against his, kissing him tenderly and moving her lip prongs gently along his mouth. She lifts a finger and boops Bella’s nose gently.

Bella sat on Hamish’s legs she looked down at Adam and made a fart noise at him. Hamish chuckled against Skylar’s lips.

Adam looked right up at her and then made a fart noise right back. “I can make all o’ the noises that ya do, lil’ missy.”

Skylar snickered and leaned into his smooch, before parting to catch her breath.

“At least ya have enough composure not t’ suck face on m’ couch while I’m in th’ room.” Vera hums without looking up.

Hamish laughed. Resting against Skylar while he watched Bella, she pressed her palm over her mouth and blew against it, making a high pitched toot sound.

Skylar cuddled with him, pressing her belly lightly into his side as she shifted against him.

Adam lifted a brow, and then playfully crossed his eye lights at her. He planted his fingers over his lips, and mimicked the noise, though a few decibels lower than hers. He wiggled a brow at her playfully while he made his silly face.

She giggled and cuddled against Hamish, watching her uncle. She tipped her head to look up at her parents then slid of Hamish’s lap, onto the floor, she blew another fart sound then jumped, horns first into Adams chest.

Adam grunted as her little horns dug into his chest, and then ruffled her horns. “Oh? Is this how its gonna be? You’re gonna get it, ya lil’ rapscallion.” He playfully ruffled her back, and got into his hands and knees, before lowering into his elbows. His horns were bigger than Greg’s, and sharper too, but wider spaced than his elder brother’s were. He wiggled his head at her and made a fart noise at her. “Come n’ get me.”

“Rapscallion, eh? Sounds like someone’s expanding their vocabulary.” Skylar snickers playfully. “Get him, Bella! Ya can do it.”

Hamish’s brows pushed together slightly in worry, her daddy’s worry wasn’t necessary, Bella got her tough skull from her mommy, she pounce at him a crashed her skull against Adams, pushing her head back against him, her nubby little horns pushing against Adams forehead.

Adam put on a big show of snorting and blowing steam out his nasal cavity as she worked him over. However, like Greg, he let her 'win’ and gain ground as he scooted back inches at a time on his elbows.

Skylar smiled widely and cuddled her head into Hamish’s shoulder. “She’s getting practice for the boys. When they’re bigger, they’ll give her a run for her money.” She laughed, patting her belly.

Bella tried to copy her uncle and snorted, although it came out as soft puffs of breath. She planted her feet into the floor and shoved her head up against his.

He 'shoved’ back a little bit, just give her the gumption not to give up. He made sure she was feisty as he butted heads with her. “She’s gonna give ya a run for ya money when she’s older, Hamish.” He laughs at her tiny snorts, and snorts again, encouraging her to have fun.

“She’s gonna be a handful for sure.” Skylar giggles. She pauses, and pats Hamish’s shoulder. “Help me up? I need t’ pee.”

Bella snorted again and make a growling sound. “Rrrwwwaaahh!” She yelled, twisting her head to try and lock her horns with Adams. Hamish jumped up from watching them and helped Skylar up.

Adam guffawed in amusement at her roar, and lowered his skull to let her lock horns with him. He gave her little head a teeny shake and grinned. “Good job, Bella.”

Skylar smiled at them and then at Hamish, before waddling off to go use the bathroom.

With her gone, Vera looked up at him. “So… When ya finally get the house done, ya think ya can look after her properly?” She hums to Hamish quietly, so as to not disturb Bella’s play.

Hamish blinked then shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll be honest I’m kinda scared… triplets are high risk… if something went wrong… but, you know how she is.” He sighs. “She’s determined to have them at home.”

Bella giggled and shoved herself forward.

Adam laughed and let her win, flopping face first into the ground and offering his back as something to climb on. Pony express Adam was a go.

Vera keeps an eye on her son and grand daughter, but mostly watches her son in law. “They are. It’s even possible she’ll go into labor before ya can finish the house. Ya might not even be here for them being born, if that’s th’ case.” The tiny woman looks him up and down with a shrewd eye. “She is stubborn though. Once we pass twenty five weeks, I’ll breathe a sigh o’ relief. As it is, you’re gonna need t’ be with her often, or have a way t’ contact her when she needs something. She’ll be on strict bed rest if she makes it to ya.” She purses her lips with a soft hum. “She’s not gonna be able t’ chase Bella. Do ya think ya can watch a one year old, manage a farm, and watch your wife?”

“I can go with him, Ma, n’ help with the farm. Lily would understand, I’m sure.” Adam’s muffled voice sounds out.

Hamish smiled. “Actually… I think Skylar wanted to ask if you’d come up to be with us.” He said to Vera, a hopeful look on his face.

“Me?” Vera blinked. “Well sure. I haven’t really been far from th’ farm in a while, and the boys are old enough t’ take care o’ themselves. Mister Dad Greg can keep an eye on th’ twins. It’ll be good practice for him.” She nods.

There was the light sound of footsteps, and then one of the twins stepped in. Dressed in bright pastels and rainbows, and shadowed by her much darker dressed brother, Liliya padded on silent feet towards Hamish and Vera. “It would be good for you to get out, Aunty Vera.” She nods lightly, and gives her a sharp-toothed smile. “Sorry we didn’t make it to the party. Kodi wasn’t feeling well earlier.”

“Again?” Vera frowns. “You’ve been gettin’ sick an awful lot since ya came out here, boy. Ya got allergies?”

Kodi looked pale but grumpy and simply glared at her and shrugged. He said nothing, but offered a tiny wave to the birthday girl riding on her uncle’s back.

Vera sighed and shook her head. “Anyways, I’ll come back with ya. I can do the farm work, or keep an eye on Bella and Sky. Either or.”

Hamish flashed the twins a smile, they made him uncomfortable for reasons he couldn’t put his finger on. “I can do the farm work on my own… if you take day shifts with sky I’ll look after her during the night.” He cringed slightly. He had meant that as a harmless joke then realized how dirty it probably sounded.

“Ewwww,” Liliya stuck out her tongue and made a face. “Gross. I just wanted to steal Bella for some cuddles, not hear about future hanky-panky.”

Vera snorted. “I can handle day shift.”

Hamish pressed his palm over his face, moderately mortified.

Bella heard Lilliya’s voice and squealed flopping off of Adam with a soft thud, she scrambled to her feet and rushed over to her cousin. She rubbed her little hands over the pretty cloths. “Ooooh!” She cooed.

Liliya scooped her up and cooed to her. “I hope you don’t mind me stealing her. You all have monopolized the birthday girl for quite some time, I think.” She giggled.

“Yeah… you can play with her… just, don’t let her put things in her mouth.” He fussed. He was sure the twins had been helping with looking after Bella and had already gotten the be careful with the baby speech.

“We’ll be careful.” Liliya nods, and bounces the toddler gently on her hip.

Bella squeaks and reaches out for Kodi. “Odi!”

Kodiak makes a face, but collects her from his sister, withstanding the hands that latch onto the fluff of his hood as he holds her close. He bounces her with surprising gentleness despite his gruff attitude.

Skylar comes waddling back down the hall, and nearly bowls I to Liliya. “Oh! Lili! I’m so sorry, I didn’t see ya there.”

“Its okay.” She beams up at her and smooches her belly, before flouncing off with her brother in tow.

Skylar shakes her head and returns to the couch. “Alright, what did I miss?”

Hamish turns back to Skylar and smiles. “Your mom said she’s come up to the house to help out with Bella and the boys.” He said, placing his hand on Skylar’s back.

Skylar smiled at her mother, beaming widely. “Really? That’s awesome, Ma. It’ll be a huge help.”

“I know.” She chortles. “I don’t mind doin’ it for ya. At any rate, the two o’ ya should go get some peace n’ quiet. Lili and Kodi will keep Bella entertained for a couple o’ hours, and ya look like ya could both use some sleep side by side after your bathroom adventures.”

“The tub is forever soiled now.” Adam jokes.

“A nap sounds good.” He said.

He helped Skylar back to her room. He could hear the kids playing; soon their home would sound like that, with kids playing together and keeping each other busy. He kissed Skylar’s cheek and pushed the door closed, leaving it open slightly so Bella would be able to come into them if she needed to.

He shuffled out of his pants and shirt and flopped onto the bed. “Ah, so comfy.” He sighed happily.

Skylar left her shirt on, in case one of the kids or her brothers came to get her, and shuffled out of her pants. She shifted onto the bed with him, cuddling into her left side, and smiled at him. “Very. Ma doesn’t skimp on beds. Heh… Now c'mere. I haven’t slept beside ya in an age, n’ I’m looking forward t’ it.” She wiggled closer, and latched onto him like a clingy leech, and then purred to him.

Hamish snuggled up to her, feeling her belly pressing against his, he rubbed his palm his slow soothing circles over the mound, feeling the boys shifting and streching. “Do you ever sing to them? I bet they’d love your voice.” He asked, Where Bella always became active to the sound of his voice, Hamish had already noticed the triplets responded a lot more to Skylar. It was most likely due to him not being around for them to hear him as constantly as Bella did.

“I do.” She smiles slightly. The boys stir at her voice, and she smiles wider, eyes drifting to half mast. “I sing t’ them, and t’ Bella. They get t’ listen t’ your stories too, bur ya voice sounds different over a phone than in person. Does it… Bother ya that they don’t respond like Bella did?”

Hamish took in a deep breath and sighed. “A little… but I understand, the house needs to get done. I hate being away but… you know, it’s only a few more weeks, then they will get to know their daddy outside this belly jail.” He said, his mouth twitching up into a smile.

She laughs gently. “Yup. We get t’ handle triple the scary poops, and I get t’ see how well I’m moving around after having three.” She snuggles as close to him as she can, and gives her husband an adoring look. “They’ll come t’ love story time when in person. You’ll have a few weeks with them in my belly, hopefully.” She rubs her middle. “I’d like t’ make it t’ at least thirty seven weeks. Thirty-six at the least. That’s my goal. Go big or go home, y'know?”

Hamish chuckled and rolled his head to meet her look, leaning in to kiss her. He turned his attention to her belly next. “Listen up, us boys have gotta have a man to man chat.” He started, sitting up and leaning in close to her belly. “You boy have to be good to your mama; you stay snug in there and cook yourselves all the way through, this is already tough enough… she needs getting you three into the world to go as smooth as having triplets can go. You hear me?”

The boys were still as he spoke. As he finished speaking, the baby on the top kicked again, diving three sharp taps against the inside of her belly.

“I think they heard ya.” She laughed gently. “Hm… Pretty sure that was baby C. Mmnng…  Still need two more names. Ya didn’t seem t’ hear my suggestions earlier. But ya we’re a little distracted.” She had been slowly teasing him for the first time, when he had rutted against her on the bed. Skylar hummed softly and rubbed her fingers along the top of her belly. “Mm… Ya know… It’s probably gonna be more stressful, but we can make it. I know we can. If I do end up going into labor early, I’ll go t’ the hospital and have m’ there.”

Hamish let out a soft sigh of relief. At least now he had her word about her going to the hospital if things turned sour, and it meant the stress could be lifted on his chest. "Sorry… Suggestions? Tell me.” Now she had his attention. He smiled at the little foot or hand that pushed out against Skylar’s flesh.

She smiled at his relieved sigh. She knew her stubbornness was a source of stress for him, but there wasn’t much to be done for it. Skylar didn’t like hospitals, just like she didn’t like driving. “Well, you said Peter. N’ it’s a nice dignified name. So I suggested maybe Charles or Samuel? Or something like it.”

“Peter, Charles, and Samuel.” He repeated. He liked that. He really liked those names a lot. “I think they’re perfect.” He beamed, leaning down to kiss her belly. He laid back down with her, holding his hand over his mouth to hide his yawn. “I can’t wait to meet them. Having kids is like… the ultimate lucky dip at a farmers market… you know, you pick out your prize and you don’t know what is hiding inside until you unwrap it.”

“Ain’t that the truth. And lookie here- ya won a triple prize.” She smiled softly at his hidden yawn, and cuddled closer. “Mmm. I think baby C is gonna be feisty. Heh…” She yawned slightly, and tucked her face into her pillow. “And fatigue strikes again. M’ always so tired with these three.”

“I’m not surprised.” He smiled. “They’re drinking up all your energy so they can grow big and strong.”

“Mhmm. Growing big n’ strong. Soon they’re gonna be kicking my ribs in and fightin’ for more space.” She chuckles tiredly.

He snuggled her up to him his eyes feeling heavy.

She kisses the bottom of his chin, and settles close to him with a soft content sigh. Her eyes drift closed, and its not even two minutes before her breathing evens out and she’s asleep against him, sleeping deeply in the presence of her beloved husband.

Hamish smiled, sleepily kissing her head. God he loved her, a whole fucking lot.

[limologic]

12 Things I Learned Before 30

As I look out on the horizon of 30, I am running towards it with open arms. I’ve learned a lot in the past 10 years, but have never been more ready to leave a decade behind than my 20s. I feel more at peace with myself than I have in more than 10 years, and am so ready to begin a more reassured and confident chapter of my life.

I learned cruel and crucial lessons in my 20s, I hope you will learn these lessons well before I did, and if someone can avoid some of the pain and failure that I experienced from my mistakes, it makes them worth the trouble.

Here are the 12 most important lessons I learned in my 20s:

1) Start Taking Good Care Of Yourself Now:

I have spent the entirety of my late twenties rehabilitating the damage of my early and mid-twenties. The earlier you start managing your diet and beginning an exercise regimen, the sooner you build the foundation for a healthy mind and body. According to a studies, not only does exercise make our outlook on life more positive, it makes us more likely to engage in positive things — therefore have a better social life and achieve more. It helps prevent depression and manage anxiety. Not to mention it will help lower health care costs later in life. You will thank yourself in your 30s for staying in shape in your 20s.

2) You’re Going To Feel Lost:

One thing you discover upon graduation is that no one REALLY has life figured out, people are just doing the best they can and sometimes not, but still harbor doubt, even when they’re doing well. After the glow of graduation, adulthood will be a rough transition, harder than you imagine it will be. You feel so invigorated after graduation and you’re excited and ready to hit the ground running, only to halted by a variety of road blocks: the economy, being stuck in a low-level position, not getting a job in your desired industry, etc. It will take years and years and years to accomplish your dream, and to be where you want to be in your career.

(You will wonder if it is worth it, you will wonder if you will ever get there, and just know everyone feels this way, especially in their 20s. You’re not alone, and it’s completely normal. Try to find healthy ways to manage it, like working out and if you can afford it, go to therapy.)

3) Dreams Require Sacrifice:

Nothing in life is handed to you, and if you have big dreams, those big dreams will demand big sacrifices- putting in the time and the work other people are simply unwilling to do. You will have to work through the night, weekends, long weekends, holidays, birthdays, vacations and holidays. You will have to turn down doing things you desperately want to do because you need to work to reach your goal. You will have to work when the last thing in the world you want to do is work. You will consistently have to make short term sacrifices to achieve your long-term goal. It will be lonely, but only the people willing to go the extra mile achieve their goals and realize their dreams.

4) Stop Caring What People Think:

For whatever reason, people will root for you to fail. It’s not because of anything you said or did, as a matter of fact, it has nothing to do with you at all. It’s not your problem, it’s theirs. Their reaction to you is likely not something you said or did, it’s their own issue. So don’t take their negativity to heart, just keep working. Those toxic people are not worth agonizing over, that’s time you’ll never get back. Every successful person has been told they can’t achieve their goal, so don’t listen- just keep working…

5) Don’t Make Excuses, Apologize:

Immature people do not take responsibility for their actions. Professionals take responsibility for their mistakes, do not make excuses and move on. No one wants to hear excuses, people just want to know it won’t happen again. Knowing how to make a sincere, heartfelt apology is one of the best personal and professional skills you can develop. Apologies cost you nothing and normally solve everything. People don’t want to hold grudges, so don’t give them a reason to. Apologize sincerely, make sure not to repeat your mistake so everyone moves on.

6) Things Don’t Work Out For A Reason:

Rejection hurts in the moment, but it also means that the right opportunity or person is still out there. Some day you will be so happy this or that job or person did not work out, because then something or someone better can come along.

7) Start Saving Money ASAP:

Erring on the side of saving is the smartest way to manage your money. You can start saving for retirement, a house, a car, etc. and prepare yourself for all of life’s emergencies like losing a job, suffering a medical emergency or a car accident, etc. Put as much money as you can in your savings account, and live frugally where it’s painless for you. If you love to cook, cook as much as you can, it’s healthier and cheaper. Only buy housewares and clothes that you need. Try to cut down frivolous spending to the bone. It all adds up.

8.) You And Your Friends Will Change:

In your 20s you begin to decide who you want to be, and so do your friends. Sometimes you’re going in the same direction, and sometimes you’re NOT! - that’s just fine. Most relationships are not built to last a lifetime, they’re meant to help form who you are during certain stages of your life. It’s earthshaking, because you’re growing apart from people you thought would play a big role in your future, and making friends is extremely hard after college. It takes a lot more work to see and spend time with friends, and at times you will realize they’re not willing to put in the effort. You can not assume people will care for you the way you care for them, but you can adjust your expectations and your level of attachment. You will find your tribe, you just have to make room in your life for them by not prioritizing people who are not prioritizing you.

9) Eliminate Negative and toxic People:

Life is too short to let people make you feel like you aren’t worthy of what you want. Don’t waste your time with people trying to feel better about themselves by tearing you down. If people don’t make you feel good about yourself kick them to the curb, and the sooner the better.

10) Everything Takes Time:

Careers, relationships, etc. all take time and require patience. Don’t lose heart, keep working. It all takes time- your life isn’t ruined because your career has not taken off yet.

11) Know You’re Enough:

You spend much of your 20s feeling very alone and insecure and like you’re failing at everything; your career, being a good friend, being a good partner, a good person, etc. Just know that you’re enough, and as long as you’re on a path that will fully realize your potential and your dreams, know you’re exactly where you should be, and doing everything you need to be doing.

12) Love Yourself:

No one will love you more than you will love yourself, so love yourself completely because you’re the best advocate you have. Life is short, spend it loving who you are. If there is something you want to change, then put in the work and change it, because loving yourself and believing in yourself is the only way you will achieve everything you want to. It will give you the confidence to takes the risks you need to, to keep going when you want to quit, and believe that your ideas are valuable and you can bring them to life.

[idealisticrealism]

So, Prison Break will be back in a matter of hours.

And to a lot of you, that may mean nothing. 

But it means a hell of a lot to me.

Prison Break first aired when I was fourteen. I don’t remember much about the night itself, but what I do remember is kicking up a real fuss when my brothers outvoted me on the choice of programming, the two of them commandeering the TV remote and forcing me to watch the pilot of this new prison show instead of the episode of House that I had apparently very much wanted to watch at the time. After that night, though, House certainly never took precedence in my schedule ever again, because I had fallen hard for Prison Break in a way that I never had with a show before (or since), my soul already eagerly sold to it before the credits were even rolling on the first episode. 

For the next four years of my life, it was my obsession, my joy, my greatest love, the one thing I could talk endlessly about (particularly any part related to MiSa, my OTP of all OTPs), and the mere thought of which would always make me happy. It led me to my first fan forum, to amazing friends (who I am still in touch with to this day), and also brought me into the world of fanfiction, which in itself became (and remains) a hugely important part of my life. 

As it went on, the show not only taught me life lessons like sacrifice and making difficult decisions and taking responsibility for your actions; it also taught me about myself, and what I wanted and valued and believed. And, as with any show that truly pulls you in, the characters were always far more than just actors spouting lines-- they were like family to me, and I celebrated and struggled and grieved with them through four incredible and traumatising seasons. I genuinely cried more tears for them and their pain than I ever did over anything else in my own (obviously very fortunate and privileged) life. 

The same year that Prison Break ended, I graduated high school and was accepted into medical school, a career that I had chosen for several very good reasons, not the least of which was because my still-forming teenage self had looked at Dr Sara Tancredi and had seen exactly the kind of woman I wanted to grow up to be. About five years after that, I was freshly graduated as a doctor, and finally got the chance to meet Went, Dom, and Sarah at my first Comic Con, and was able to thank them in person for the beautiful thing that they had helped create, and which-- in Sarah’s case in particular, of course-- had helped to create me. 

Today, I’m exactly a month shy of my twenty-sixth birthday, and have been a doctor for almost two and a half years, having even worked briefly in the prison system during that time, among many other things. I may not have the posters hanging on my wall anymore, and the cardboard box full of memorabilia and carefully folded cranes might be tucked away in a closet out of sight, but even still, this show has never left me. It’s in the “Be the change you want to see in the world” ring that I’ve worn every day for the last nine years. It’s in the tiny origami flower that has been tattooed on the back of my left ear since I was nineteen. It’s in the crane that was tattooed on my left wrist two years ago in Chicago, with those same old forum friends beside me, all coming together for the first time in our ten-year friendship to visit the city and the prison that had been the setting for the story that had brought us into each other’s lives. But even more than the marks on my skin, its mark is still inside me, a permanent building block in the foundation of who I am. 

In the last eight years, there’s only one thing about this show that I’ve always regretted, one thing that I have literally wished (on shooting stars, four-leaf clovers, birthday cakes, 11:11, dandelions-- you name it, I’ve wished on it) that I could change. Of course, I know that happy endings don’t always exist; that reality is hard and cruel and whatever, so supposedly TV should be too. But that never stopped me from wishing that there could have been just one more happy ending out there to give to this story.

Then, about two years ago, something happened. Stars-- both astronomical and celebrity-- aligned. Whispers like ‘reboot’ and ‘season 5′ floated around, and then suddenly, startlingly, my dream had started looking like a possibility. A possibility that eventually turned into a miraculous definite, the confirmation followed by months of filming and promoting that I promptly did my very best to ignore or hide from, because I was convinced that if I thought about it too much-- let myself hope too much-- it would somehow all disappear again; would revert to being merely an elaborate fantasy that I’d concocted in my head, a silly fangirl’s headcanon to rectify her OTP’s heartbreak as well as her own.

But tonight, it’s all becoming real. Tonight, for the first time in eight years, I will turn on my TV and see my character-family again; will experience that old feeling afresh. And though there’s certainly always the chance that the new season will somehow be a disappointment, or will only add more pain, it’s a chance I’m so very willing to take.  

A chance that I’m so, so grateful even exists.

So, if you can, tune in tonight (9/8c on Fox). Even if you’ve never watched before, even if you think that frankly I’m probably just overhyping it and it’s actually nowhere near as great as I claim. Do it anyway, and show the network and showrunners that what they have done means something to the viewers out there-- to the people like me, who got far more from this show than just a fascinating story, who might have been a very different person today if they’d managed to wrestle the TV remote off of their brothers on that one night a dozen years ago. And who knows; a success for Prison Break now, like with The X-Files and Gilmore Girls before it, could mean reboots-- and therefore justice-- for even more beloved shows down the line, and even more opportunities for other fans to re-experience the things that helped to shape them into who they are.

And, well, this moment may have been eight long years in the making-- but whatever happens, it was worth it.

[jessicakehoe]

Daniel Martin, Tatcha’s New Global Director of Artistry and Education, Reveals His Go-to Products

From assisting makeup icon Pat McGrath to Italian Vogue’s historic 2008 all-Black issue to now regularly beautifying the face of long-time client, friend and royal, Meghan Markle, Daniel Martin has many career-defining milestones under his makeup belt. This week, the New York-based makeup maestro, who also counts Elisabeth Moss, Nina Dobrev and Jessica Alba as regular clients, added one more: the first-ever global director of artistry and education for beloved Japanese-inspired beauty line Tatcha.

It’s a brand partnership that seems like the perfect fit, seeing as how Martin has been a fan of the brand since its inception, and has a close friendship with brand founder Vicky Tsai. “I met Vicky 10 and a half years ago when she had just started her brand out of her house making her Japanese blotting papers,” says Martin. “I then started using them backstage at New York Fashion Week, and a Vogue editor at the time, who was reporting on one of my looks, asked me what the papers were. Everything snowballed from there and Vicky and I wound up creating this incredible friendship.”

In celebration of Daniel Martin’s new gig and the 10-year anniversary of Tatcha’s signature Aburatorigami Japanese Beauty Papers, we asked him to dish on his skillful way of always creating luminous skin on clients and the go-to products in his makeup kit.

Tatcha Aburatorigami Beauty Papers, $16, sephora.com

On his personal go-to Tatcha products:

“The Indigo line is my go-to because I have mild eczema. During stressful periods it flares up, and this line is the only one that’s been able to keep it at bay. I’m also a huge fan of the Tatcha Water Gel cream moisturizer because it’s so gentle on the skin and does what it needs to do in terms of hydration. It’s a water-based product that I’ll use in the summer. Also, I find that water-based moisturizers work well underneath makeup in terms of longevity. I try to stay away from anything that has too much oil in it, or anything that has a lot of silicone, because over time, your skin heats up throughout the day and those types of products can break up your makeup. Separation can happen between your foundation and your moisturizer.”

TATCHA The Water Gel, $84, sephora.com

On his favourite glow-boosting hero:

“Tatcha’s Serum Stick. I like to keep it in my fridge and apply it all over on my face while it’s nice and cold. It gives me a nice pick-me-up in the morning. I also use it on clients to sculpt the face because I like to add more light instead of dark contour. It’s more forgiving. And I like to use it as a highlighter rather than shimmer-based products, because I find shimmer can almost look too metallic in photos. I’d rather create that dimension using an emollient product rather than makeup.”

TATCHA The Serum Stick, $62, sephora.com

On the makeup question he’s asked most frequently:

“It’s always around foundation, and how to make foundation not look like foundation. Like, ‘How do you do skin so that it doesn’t look like makeup?’ So much of it is understanding good skincare practices. If you take the time to take care of your skin, then the makeup is so much easier to lie on top of it, especially when it comes to foundation. Also, I tend to do foundation before concealer, and I usually apply foundation using a buffing brush starting in the center of the face and work my way outward. This enables me to see how much coverage I actually need to add with concealer. Concealers tend to be a lot thicker, and when you’re doing all of this heavy marking and etching before foundation, you wind up putting on too much concealer, you’re building all this unnecessary texture, which foundation just ends up sitting on top of.”

On the most-used product in his kit:

“Tatcha’s Dewy Mist. I’ll spray it before makeup and use it afterwards, too. I like to use it after makeup when I’ve applied too much powder on and the skin looks too matte or looks like makeup. It helps cut the powdery cast on the face. I’ll spray it on and work it into the skin with a powder puff, which melts the powder a bit.”

TATCHA Luminous Dewy Skin Mist, $62, sephora.com

On going MacGyver:

“A glue stick to lay down eyebrows. If I have a client who has really thick, unruly brows, I’ll use a glue stick and literally mold out the shape and let it dry down completely. The glue stick really helps me lay down brows without canceling them out. It just really tames the hairs. The one in my kit goes on purple on dries clear. Drag queens have been using it forever. It really works!”

On his longest celeb client relationship:

“Model Veronica Webb. We met back in 2006 or 2007 through Lancôme, and from there we just became great, supportive friends. She has such a history in fashion and beauty: She was the first Black model to ever get a major cosmetic contract, which was with Revlon. She was also part of the 2008 all-Black issue of Italian Vogue, and she fought for me to do her makeup for her shoot. And because I had assisted Pat McGrath, and was familiar with the magazine’s team, they were like, ‘Yeah, of course.’ It wasn’t until that editorial that I was able to get noticed by my agency The Wall Group, and I’ve been with them now for 13 years. Veronica lives, like, 10 blocks from me in the Upper West Side, so we see each other and talk all the time!”

View this post on Instagram

Happy Birthday to one of my nearest and dearest #homies @veronicawebb ❤️ She’s a walking encyclopedia of fashion history and the kindest, caring and most thoughtful human on this earth. Love you Veee! #originalgangster #supermodel #veronicawebb

A post shared by Daniel Martin (@danielmartin) on Feb 25, 2019 at 5:05am PST

On a celebrity his dying to work with next:

“Tilda Swinton. There’s just something about her look. She’s cool and so confident and I just love everything that she wears. I usually don’t geek out over celebrities, but I think if I were to meet her, I wouldn’t know what to say!”

The post Daniel Martin, Tatcha’s New Global Director of Artistry and Education, Reveals His Go-to Products appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Daniel Martin, Tatcha’s New Global Director of Artistry and Education, Reveals His Go-to Products published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[datingadviceonreddit]

I'll start off with a little information about myself. This will be a long post, but I want to tell the whole story as best I can. I am desperate for good advice.I'm 28(m). I've struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life and I tend to get addicted to things easily and have a problem with obsessing over things. I'm not sure if I'm an aspie, because I normally don't have any problems socializing with people and they tell me I'm normal, although I do tend to avoid social situations, especially crowded places. A few years ago I had a problem at work and I ended up quitting and falling into a severe depression. I would sleep 12+ hours a day, started smoking pot again (which I get extremely addicted to) and playing video games all day. It was my escape from the world, as I slowly spiraled into a dark, lonely and hopeless place, expending my savings and running up credit card debt to survive.I've never been in a relationship, or a serious one for that matter. I've been on dates with many girls, but never a 2nd date. I have confidence issues and I guess I come across as a nice guy, trying too hard, etc. I definitely don't hate women though, I know the issue is me. What's weird is I am actually a really attractive guy and I notice girls admiring me everywhere I go, yet I'm too afraid to strike conversation. I've sort of built a wall and convinced myself that I will be alone forever.So after contemplating suicide for many months, I decided to try and get my old job back and restore my life. I started working again about a year ago and got into trading stocks and for the first time in years I actually feel good about myself. I know if I keep working hard and saving, I'll be able to buy a house in a couple years. I'm enjoying my hobbies again and taking care of myself. I love myself, I am ready to find a woman now.I ended up joining Tinder back in January of this year, matched with this girl and we immediately hit it off. Conversation comes naturally and we have so much in common, but she lives in NYC and I live on Long Island and I think we both know this will be difficult. She's also a bit older than me at 37, but neither of us have a problem with it. We talk almost every day, she tells me she's just looking for a friend because she's in a rough situation and not ready for a relationship. She tells me she thinks I'm a nice guy and that girls are crazy for not going for guys like me. She says she has chronic lyme disease and her life is currently a mess. She was in an abusive relationship with a guy who has a crack addiction(who was in jail until recently), he siphoned her savings because she's selfless and tries to help people(like me) and now she's living in a run-down apartment in Chinatown just trying to build her life up again. I really like this girl, but I can tell she's just too much work and I start to give up on her. She seemed hopeless at this point so I stop talking to her and pursue other girls. She kept messaging me about once a week, but my responses were short and I eventually told her that I really didn't think it would work between us. She said she understood and that she would leave me alone.Fast forward to March and me being the nice guy I am, told her I think she should leave the city because I'm really worried about the Coronavirus and NYC will likely get hit hard, possibly chaos if the virus is really bad. She ends up moving to Texas for a while to stay with an old friend. We start talking again and she thanks me for warning her about the virus (this was a week or two before the lockdowns). She tells me she's trying to better her life, might have a job opportunity in Texas, but doesn't have a car. I offer to lend her money and she tells me that she couldn't, that most people would take advantage, that I shouldn't trust her.. but I really felt bad for her and I wanted to show her that I trust her, so I insist. I told her I really liked her and I wanted to give her a little boost to help her get her life in order, she can pay me back any time and that the foundation for relationships are trust and I wanted her to know I trust her. I figure the worst that can happen is she doesn't pay me back and then I'll know she wasn't worth it. Her birthday comes in April and I tell her Happy Birthday and she freaks out... telling me I am the only one who remembered, not even her family (who she doesn't talk to anymore). She finds a car that week and I lend her the money and from this point on I am committed to this person. We're talking every day, she's always sending me <3s in her messages and telling me how great I am, how she never thought she would find such a strong and honest man on Tinder, not looking for hookups, etc. I can tell it's genuine, this girl has had a very troubled past and I feel like her hero. This goes on for a while and I can feel myself slowly falling for her. I really get the impression she has strong feelings for me too. We talk about everything.So she tells me she's coming back to NYC in May and we will meet for the first time. We end up meeting at my favorite park and spend the day hiking around and walking. It was lovely. She stares deep into my eyes when she talks to me, tells me how she feels so comfortable with me like we've known each other forever, she laughs at all my jokes, she asks me tons of questions about my life and seems to remember everything I've ever told her. This girl is smart. She's making a lot of contact with me as well, bumping into me, touching me etc.. although I am nervous and scared to touch her. I give her a big hug at the end, she tells me she wants to do it again next weekend and we part our ways. This was the best first date I've ever had. I am ecstatic.This is where things start to get confusing. She tells me her ex is now out of jail and he's been harassing her, calling her all day, changing numbers after she blocks him. She calls me in the middle of the night crying, saying he tricked her into seeing him (because he owes her money). I told her I really want to knock this guys teeth out but she insists she doesn't want to get me involved, that she's just too nice and too weak and she can see the child in him and doesn't want to hurt the guy. She said the guy told her she's nothing without him, she needs him, generally twisted stuff. She then tells me she thinks she has borderline personality disorder and she was abused as a child and this is why she ends up with guys like this. She has very low self-worth. I comfort her and she thanked me. I'm a bit thrown off by this, but I have sympathy for her and tell myself I just need to show this girl what a great guy I am and she'll come to me.Over the next week I can tell this girl is acting differently. She seems really depressed and distant now. Taking longer to reply to my messages, no longer using <3s in them, etc. I call her and tell her that I think she needs to move out of the city away from this guy and she agrees, but she just needs a little time to save up some money and take care of a few things. She's been doordashing like crazy, making more than I do actually. Says it's an addiction and it helps her keep her mind off things. She says she'll be able to pay me back and we make plans to meet at the beach the following week.We meet at the beach this past week and when she shows up, she's on the phone with her ex. She's yelling at him, saying you'll go back to jail if you don't stop calling me and says IT'S OVER as she hangs up. She told me that he's jealous because of me. I buy it. I mean it makes sense right? The guy is a piece of shit and I'm this great guy who lent her money without even meeting her and is helping her to better her life. So we end up having a great time at the beach. She pays me back the money I lent her and calms down and we spend a good 8 hours relaxing and talking. We rub each others backs and make a lot of contact. Lot's of laughter, honestly one of the best days of my life. It really doesn't seem like I'm getting friend-zoned so as we get back to our cars I tell her I really like her and want to kiss her. She says she thinks it should be a natural thing that happens and I agree, but I tell her she lives so far away and we can't meet every day and if we kiss then I'll know this isn't just friendship and I will stop worrying. She gets up and grabs my face and gives me a short, but really passionate kiss, smiles and then we say goodnight.Okay, so now I am in the clouds... I go to work the next day and it's like I'm a new man. I am feeling things I've never felt before. Food has lost it's taste and I feel like I am going to pass out. I text her, tell her how much fun I had and we should do it again and she doesn't reply. I can't sleep. I start messaging her about how I think she still has feelings for her ex. I told her it's really unfair to me and that I've been nothing but honest with her and I feel like she doesn't trust me. I kinda came across as needy I guess. Nothing. Part of me feels like I should back off, but the other part of me feels like I should try harder so that's what I do. I keep messaging her and she eventually gets back to me and says she's just been feeling really sick (because of chronic lyme disease) and I need to stop worrying so much. I tell her I'm sorry. We both have a problem of over-thinking things and letting our thoughts get the better of us. This is honestly one of the things I really like about this girl. We both seem to struggle with mental issues. She says I am her masculine and she is my feminine.So I spent the last couple days thinking hard about everything. I get the impression that this girl has some serious trust and abandonment issues. I'm researching chronic lyme disease and from what I gather, it's not a real diagnosis, but she assures me the pain she is feeling is real. I personally think it's depression, because I know from experience that it can cause physical pain similar to what she describes. Join pains, muscle pains, weakness, fatigue, etc. She insists its lyme. It's like when she's in the city she is a different person, but when she's with me she is calm, relaxed and much happier. I really feel like this girl loves me, but I'm not sure. I think she's struggling between doing what's right and what is easy and her ex is familiar to her and easy. I decided to tell her we needed to talk and that it's very important. I told her I needed to get some things off my chest and I wanted her to listen and take it seriously and think about it. She called me this morning and this is what I said:I started off by apologizing for coming across as needy lately, that I know she's going through a lot and doesn't need some guy badgering her when she needs to focus on herself and that I felt very selfish. Then I started to tell her how I feel about her. I told her I've never felt this way about anyone before, that I thought I knew what love was until I met her. I said I think she is an amazing person, who has had a really troubled life and is dealing with some serious problems (like me). This is when I began to get overwhelmed and started crying. I really poured my heart out to this girl. I told her she deserves better and that even if she doesn't end up with me, she needs to find a guy who will treat her right. She said she feels bad, that I shouldn't cry for her and that she's told me she isn't ready for a relationship and that isn't going to change. That she needs to deal with her chronic lyme disease first and then figure out what she wants to do with her life, if she will move somewhere else, etc. I told her I had no intentions of falling for her, but the more I got to know her and realize she was just like me, I just couldn't control it. I told her she will meet 3 different kinds of guys in her life. Those who don't know what she's going through and won't be able to support her emotionally, those who do and will abuse her (her ex) and those who struggle as well and know how to deal with these issues (guys like me). I told her I will never judge her, she can tell me anything and that I will always be there for her, but that I am getting mixed feelings from her. She told me she's thought about it, but just doesn't know. She sounded very cold during the whole conversation. I told her I would give her space now and let her think for a while and if she ever needs somebody to talk to then I'll be here and that was that. The last thing she said to me was "thank you" in a very sad voice.Now I'm sitting here and I feel like empty. I'm not sure if I hurt this girl. I feel like I abandoned her and now she will think I'm just like the rest. I want to wait for her to come back to me, but I don't know if I can. I can't stop thinking about her.. I really need help. I don't know what to do. Thank you to anyone who reads this! via /r/dating_advice

[keywestlou]

OBSTRUCTION ROTTING THE FOUNDATION OF OUR COUNTRY

Obstruction everywhere in government. Trump obstructs. Has Congressional witnesses obstruct. No one answers anything. Congressional investigations have become exercises in futility. Obstruction has replaced legislating.

Without question, obstruction is rotting the foundation of our country.

Democrats play the game, also. Nowhere however as much as the Republicans. Grim Reaper Mitch McConnell the worse of all.

What bothers me also is that those who support Trump basically continue to do so. I refer to “people.” I find it difficult to understand. I am coming to the conclusion that many are unhappy, possess get even attitudes. Many I suspect failed to get something out of life they wanted and feel deprived. Trump makes them feel he is going to fill that void in their lives.

Today’s obstruct is aimed at Biden and his son Hunter. Sick! Where does Trump get the authority to tell the leader of another country if he does not cooperate in a U.S. political investigation he will not get the $250 million promised?

A major contributor to the problem are the courts. The system is antiquated. Needs to be brought into the 21st century.

The court system moves too slowly. Especially the federal system. It takes 2-3 years to get a matter litigated. How can Congressional applications to the courts to enforce the rules get them any relief if the relief comes years later?

At the very least, a special system should be established whereby federal issues at the highest level affecting our government are heard on a fast track basis. Most of the issues could then find their way to the Supreme Court in 6 months or less.

Law schools teach that justice delayed is justice denied. No question about it. Let’s correct this procedural problem and get government moving on an expedited basis.

I was not able to get all of the blog I lost into yesterday’s blog. Left out local items. I add them today. They have to do with thursday evening.

I was out on the town. Had been in for several evenings.

My first stop was Aqua’s Side Bar. Looking for my friend David. Enjoy his company. Rarely see him anymore. For whatever reason, he has substituted the Side Bar for the Chart Room many evenings.

No David at the Side Bar. Noticed a new tiny bar next door to the Side Bar. Part of the Aqua building. Called Tutu.

A gay bar. Unquestionably. No one inside. I stopped in anyhow for a drink.

The barmaid lovely. Her name Yasmin. Twenty six years old. Born in Brazil. Raised in Boston. In Key West, 3 years.

Yasmin just coming off heavy back surgery. She had a disc replaced.

I mentioned Tutu is a gay bar. It looks like one! The only gay bar in town that looks like a gay bar.

The bar stools are lined with different colored tutus. The colors throughout the bar bright and cheerful.

The place is very small. The size of 2 good sized closets.

David’s birthday is today. Happy birthday David! Meet me for a drink Monday around 6 at either the Side Bar or Tutu’s.

I was hungry. Walked past Antonia’s. Nicolle alone at the bar. Too dead for me. Continued to La Trattoria. No one at the bar. My search ended however. I sat at the bar alone.

Barbara Grob is one of the loveliest and nicest people in Key West. We have known each other 20 years. Our paths rarely cross, however. We have probably run into each other 5 times over the years. Strange for a small town.

Barbara and her husband Tom had just returned from 8 days in Hawaii.

Barbara and Tom presently own and operate The Local Luxe in Key West. The store is located at 615 Fleming. Just off Duval in the heart of Old Town.

Barbara has been in the same type business her 20 years in Key West. Always has sold unique jewelry, art and special items of clothing that appeal to women.

Barbara has specialized in certain objects over the years. Hers is the ART SLUT brand. Also, geckos.

She has had 4-5 stores. Works hard. A success!

I hope we do not have to wait 5 years to run into each other again.

La Trattoria was enough for me. I was home and in bed by 8:30 watching television.

My last 2 nights have been spent home. Working a couple of hours each evening on Growing Up Italian. The book I probably will never finish. It is in its fourth revision.

Sometimes we have to wait forever for something.

It has been announced that as of today, the 5 new HAWK crosswalk signals on Northern Roosevelt Boulevard will be in operation. About time. It has only been 5 years since local government convinced the State of the need. In those 5 years, accidents involving fatalities and injuries have occurred.

The State makes me laugh. The Florida State Department of Transportation announced yesterday that it had completed the job ahead of schedule. Five years?

Florida is strange. First it take a couple of years to convince the State of a need. Then at least a year or 2 to draw plans. At that point money is ought. The job put into the State budget. Another waiting period of 1-2 years.

I may have been wrong when I said it took 5 years. Probably more like 7.

Anyhow, it’s done. Let’s hope it does the job intended properly.

This morning’s KONK E-Blast contains a 1948 photo of Bertha Street facing towards the Atlantic. At least 4 blocks from the water.

It was hurricane time. A category 3 had hit Boca Chica. Barely missed landfall in Key West. Sort of like the Irma situation.

The photo amazed me. There was nothing on Bertha Street. Not because of the hurricane. Because nothing had been built yet. All that could be seen were 2 homes on one side of the street and 2 small 2 story apartment houses on the other.

No 1800, Las Brisa, the hockey court, etc.

Two more hurricanes added onto the 10 mentioned yesterday.

Lorena is #11. A Pacific problem. Heading for Mexico’s resort studded Baja California peninsula. The eye is reaching for the southern end of the peninsula.

Now comes Mario. Love the names!

Mario coming out of the Pacific, also. Not expected to make landfall anywhere.

Two interesting observations/quotes to share.

The first by a person who frequently comments to this blog. JustSaying. An astute observation. I had complained about hitting the wrong button and losing my blog. Just Saying wrote: “Better you hitting the wrong button than Trump hitting the right one.”

The other a part of this morning’s editorial Cheers and Jeers in the Key West Citizen. A quote by the philosopher Pego: “We’ve met the enemy and he is us.”

Trump’s wife’s first name escapes me. However she wrote at one time that Trump kept a book authored by Hitler on his night stand and used to read a few pages each evening. It was not Mein Kampf. Another.

I want to share some Hitler quotes. Who do they remind you of?

“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”

“Think a Thousand times before making a decision But – After making decisions never turn back even if you get a thousand difficulties.”

“When diplomacy ends, war begins.”

“The man who has no sense of history, is like a man who has no ears or eyes.”

“I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.”

“The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.”

“Kill, Destroy, Sack, Tell lies…..after victory nobody asks why.”

“The greatest strength of the totalitarian state is that it forces those who fear it to imitate it.”

“Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice.”

Enjoy your day!

  OBSTRUCTION ROTTING THE FOUNDATION OF OUR COUNTRY was originally published on Key West Lou