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anonymous-cy-666 · 5 years

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When somebody loved me

CW : Description of gore in the third part of this. If this isn’t your cup of tea, don’t read it. Also, if the implied presence of Horace makes you inconfortable, don’t read the eight part.

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When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Virgil wasn’t really sure if all the stupid decisions that brought him here were worth it, but one thing was sure : he was having the time of his life. For some reason, Dee had accepted Remus’ offer to have a drinking contest. Of course, Virgil had refused to participate, reasoning that they needed someone to be the judge of who had won the competition. Excuse that they clearly didn’t buy, but they didn’t complain too much.

Honestly ? He just wanted to be sober enough to witness this shitshow and still remember it the next day.

At first, he thought that Dee would win hands on. After all, he didn’t remember seeing the snake man being drunk, but then again, Remus acted as if he was drunk all the time. Seeing the difference between Remus’ normal chaos and Remus’ drunken chaos would probably be hard to see... At least, that’s what he thought.

The alcohol had started to have an effect on both of the men approximately an hour ago and the Drow had been enjoying the show ever since.

It started with Remus who had just suddenly stopped talking about how the guy with the red glasses is probably a serial killer and started looking pretty intensely at Dee. This wasn’t so much out of the ordinary for him. After all, Virgil still didn’t know where Remus’ thoughts began and ended. His drunken madness started showing when he genuinely complimented Dee’s eyes.

And by the nine hells, had his reaction been hilarious. He clearly wasn’t expecting, as Remus had been playful insulting him for the majority of the night, because in less than a second his whole face was flushed red. Virgil had never seen Dee be that flustered and it was probably one of the most hilarious things in the world. Maybe Dee wasn’t the most regal man in the world, but he still had some poise. He would almost always stand with a good posture, looking in front of him. He would roll his eyes whenever they did something stupid before inevitably joining them, but dear lord should they never point out that he was pouting or even blushing. Because mister Bossman ‘’didn’t blush’’, oh no, he would never and they ‘’probably had seen wrong’’. Plus ‘’he wasn’t a child’’ and they ‘’didn’t have any proofs’’, so to see him openly this flustered was something new and hilarious as the same time.

Of course, Remus had then started to compliment him on his red face and how cute he was when he was blushing. Virgil had assumed that this would be the only unusual thing for the night, but then, a dozen of shots later, Dee had started giggling.

And this was when the evening went from good to great.

Dee sometimes laughed at the Drow’s and Angel’s shenanigans. They did tend to act as total idiots most of the time. But they were little laughs, quickly hidden by the back of his hand. After all, even if they were working together for quite a while, Dee hadn’t been with them for as long as Virgil had been with Remus, so it wasn’t really a surprise that he didn’t fully trust them.

So it was clearly a surprising realization that Dee was the cutest giggly mess that Virgil had ever seen. Each and everything that Remus said or, more accurately, complimented would send the snake man into another giggling fit. Which in turn would make Remus compliment him on his laugh or his voice, on the way the light reflected in his eyes or the way that he moved. It was a never ending circle, but…

It made Virgil smiles. After all, he was seeing his two closest friends being happy. How could he be unhappy ? How could he not love it ? Of course, he knew that, from the outside, they probably looked like a weird group but, honestly ? As long as his friends were there, with him, he didn’t care all that much about what others thought. If he had spent only two minutes to try and hear what people were saying about them, he would have known that they weren’t talking about the way that the giant was cooing pretty loudly or how the smaller man was laughing a lot. No, they were talking about the eyes of the Drow who had suddenly turned pink.

(The next day, Dee would deny that any of that ever happened, but it didn’t really matter if it happened or not… They were just feeling so much closer to each other after that.)

Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart

Virgil and Dee had devised a plan. It wasn’t anything big, really… At first, Virgil had wanted to do something special for Remus, but he had to admit that he wasn’t the most versed in festivity… So he had gone to ask his only other friend to please help him. Together, they had decided that doing something small instead of making a big event out of it. Even if Remus did like parties, they wanted to do something that felt like them. If they could put a smile on their Angel’s face, it would be enough.

And so, as soon as the Angel had decided to go buy something for dinner, they started putting everything that they had prepared into their places. Everything had to be perfect !

But… Let’s be honest, they weren’t masters in term of planning things in advance, so of course it rapidly into shear and, honest to the Gods, chaos.

And so, when Remus came back, grocery bags in hand, he kind of was confused to see Dee with a sloppy bow taped to his forehead, trying to help a slightly panicked Virgil who was stuck in a mountain of ribbons.

Remus looked at them in silence, both of the man frozen in clear embarrassment before dropping the bags, roaring with laughter.

Dee also started to laugh, still a bit embarrassed, as Virgil simply groaned, as he was still stuck in an unenviable position. He tried to get out, realizing that his two friends were too far lost in their laughter to even begin to think about helping him out. Sadly for the Drow, he just ended up being more tied up, clearly not thinking straight at the moment.

Pitying him, Remus finally ended up tearing up the ribbons, without even breaking a sweat, a little smile on his face.

‘’What were you two dorks even doing ?’’ The dorks in question just looked at each other, slightly hesitating before smiling awkwardly. ‘’Happy birthday, Remus !’’ The Angel looked a bit shocked for half a second before starting to laugh again. ‘’What does my birthday have to do with tying Vivi in ribbons ? You wanted to try bondage without me ? That’s mean !’’ Virgil blushed, throwing bits of torn ribbons at the bigger man. ‘’You idiot ! We just… It’s your birthday and we didn’t really know what to give to you… You never seem to really be interested in material possessions that aren’t weapon and you really don’t need another morningstar at the moment, so…’’ ‘’Of course I do ! One can never have too much weapons !’’ ‘’What kitten is trying to say, is that, even if we don’t have anything to give, we… We are family. And that’s not going to change, so… Our gift is us ?’’ There was and awkward silent before the snake man quickly added : ‘’And the cake that we have in the kitchen.’’ Remus blinked, before a shining smile was drawn on his face. ‘’You two are such dorks !’’

And when she was sad

Virgil couldn’t help but tremble. Everything hurt. He was on the ground. His hands clutching his stomach. He looked at his hands. They were bloodied. They were trembling. He fought the urge to sniffle. He swallowed back his tears. He didn’t want her to see him cry. And he was strong. He wouldn’t cry. Not in front of her. Ever.

She was over him. She was looking at him. That smile. That smile had haunted him for so long.

He was… scared. He was terrified. Someone ! Anybody ! Help ! Dee ! Remus ! Where were they ? Why weren’t they here ? Maybe they had fled when he had asked them to. He… He was relieved. He didn’t want them to see him. Not after what she would do to him.

He tried to get up, but even before he could rise to his knees, a cold hand was on his cheek and he passed out.

Honestly, he wished that he would have stayed in blessed oblivion, because when he opened his eyes, all he could see was blood. All he could hear were screams. The screams were slowly dying down. And after a little while, all Virgil could hear were agonizing moans. He looked around. Blood freezing in his body.

He was looking into Remus' eyes and it took him way too much time to realize that his dear friend’s head wasn’t attached to his body anymore. The Drow ?frantically looked around him to try and find Dee. Please. He had to be safe.

When his eyes finally found Dee, he wished that he never saw this. The man’s always nice clothes were bloodied, dirty and torn. His breath was labored and he seemed to be barely holding on. Virgil didn’t know what was worse. The intestines that were lying on his body, looking like a very familiar memory of a mountain of ribbons or the absolute terror and hatred that could be seen in his glazed eyes. Distressed whimpers were coming out of his mouth. So quiet. Too quiet.

A screeching sound resonated in the air. Virgil stopped for a second, looking around. No one could have made this sound… Then he realized that he was the one who was screaming. He tried to grab, helplessly, his friends’ body against him, as if he could somehow bring them back to life.

But, as he looked down as his hands, they… They weren’t hands anymore. What was in front of him were bloodied talons. He blinked, tears running down his face.

A cold hands gently caressed his face as the familiar voice of the priestess murmured so softly : ‘’You knew that this would happen if you disappointed me, my dear Aenxiétee. If you had listened to me, none of this would have happened… But look at you ! You are so lovely in this spider body.’’

An agonized scream was ripped out from his throat as he begged her to stop. To save his friend. They hadn’t done anything wrong. They didn’t deserve this. He just wanted this to stop. Just stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop this. Stop all of this. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP, JUST STOP, STOP THIS, JUST STOP !!!

Virgil’s eyes shot wide open as he sat up, heart beating rapidly. His hands were trembling. He looked at them, convinced for a second that they would just change back into talons. He hugged himself, trembling.

A soft, cold hand caressed his cheek gently, making him flinch and recoil even more into himself. They were just as cold as hers.

‘’Virgil… Moonlight… You need to breathe.’’

A bigger, warmer hand slowly snaked his way under his arms, softly pulling him closer. Virgil’s breath hitched as he wondered what would happen. Would he get crushed? Thrown out? Killed-?

“Cuddle bug, I need you to listen to my heartbeat..”

The soft voice helped ease his anxiety, and he leaned back onto the warm source, hearing the soft thump thump thump of his heartbeat and letting his eyes slip shut.

The beat was soft and weirdly gentle, so he just let the sound lead him, slowly but surely coming back to his senses.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw clear brown eyes staring at him worriedly. He blinked, looking down at his hands. Instead of Talons, he saw regular, normal hands. He looked back at Dee, studying him closely. No blood, no intestines, nothing. He was perfectly fine. He turned to look at Remus, making sure everything was okay. There was no blood, no glazed eyes. He was okay. Everyone was okay.

Virgil let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, whispering softly :

“You’re okay…”

He heard Dee let out a confused hum, ‘’Of course we’re okay, Raven, why wouldn’t we be?”

Virgil shook his head, sighing, “It’s nothing, Bossman, don’t worry about it..”

Dee sighed, but didn’t press him because he knew that wouldn’t do anything. For now he could just cuddle with Virgil and Remus, and bring this up later when Virgil was ready to talk about it…

They all went back into a pile of hugs. Virgil was still clutching to Remus’ shoulder and, every now and then, he would turn to look around at Dee. They were safe. She hadn’t gotten to him. To them.

He closed his eyes for a second, bloody images coming back to him. He opened them up again, but even before he could start panicking again, a soft cold hand was brushing through his hair in a gentle, soothing way. Remus pressed him closer to his chest. A soft kiss was pressed against his temple.

Maybe he wouldn’t sleep again tonight. Maybe those images would haunt him for a long time, but… Right now. Looking at the stars. In the warm, alive, embrace of his friends, he felt safe.

What more could he ask for ?

I was there to dry her tears

Virgil rubbed his eyes, a bit confused. A second ago, he was being held in a warm embrace, his own limbs mangling with Dee’s and Remus’, but now he was on the cool ground. A small sleepy groan came out of his mouth as he looked around, ready to complain about the sudden wake up call, but as soon as his eyes found Remus’ silhouette, his words died in his throat.

His entire body was hunched on himself. As if he was trying to disappear. He wasn’t talking. He wasn’t trying to make a joke out of the fact that they were now all awake in the middle of the night. He was just… quiet. Quiet and shaking slightly.

Virgil blinked and looked at Dee, who seemed to be as shocked as he was. To be honest, Virgil didn’t really know what to say. Remus wasn’t the type to act like this. All quiet and distant.

Softly, the Drow rose to his feet, walking over to Remus. Slowly, as to not scare him, he took one of his hands within his own, dragging him back next to the campfire who was all but embers now.

There was silence for a little while as Remus seemed to slowly calm down, thanks to Dee’s and Virgil’s hug who had just held down tightly. Virgil’s face was hidden in the Angels’ neck when Deceit softly asked : ‘’Do you want to talk about it, hun ?’’ ‘’Not really. It was a stupid dream, really ! Not even a gruesome or bloody death !’’

Virgil hummed a bit. He wasn’t pressing to continue on. He just… Let the man say what he wanted to say about his dream.

They all stayed in comfortable silence for so long that the Drow was starting to fall back asleep when Remus finally opened his mouth again.

‘’I have a brother, you know ? A twin brother actually. We haven’t seen each other in over a decade. Sometimes… Just, sometimes, I wonder… Does he think about me as much as I think about him ? We left each other on a big fight. He seemed so mad. I know that he is passionate and that his emotions are always big and bright, but… What if he doesn’t forgive me this time ? What if he doesn’t want to see me anymore ? What will I do then ?’’

The trio just stayed silent again in the wake of this confession. Remus… Remus had always been the grounding force in their group. No matter what happened, he was there for them, smiling and screaming dirty jokes that would probably make an owner of a sex shop faint.

It was always like this so, to see him tremble. To hear him doubt. It was unheard of. Virgil opened his mouth, unsure of what to say, but before he could even try to comfort the Angel, Dee snorted.

He.

Flat out.

Snorted.

‘’My dearest Lionheart… He is your brother, isn't he ? Do you truly believe that someone who calls himself your twin could forget so easily about you ? You are the most unbelievable man that I have ever met. Maybe he was mad, I can easily believe that, I get angry at you all the time, but if he's anything like you, then he won’t ever forget about you. Because you have the most open bleeding heart that I’ve ever seen and someone like this never forget someone who they call family.’’

A small smile slowly appeared on Remus’ lips as Virgil quickly added : ‘’You crazy fool, you adopted me just because you never had a drow assassin partner before and you were curious about me. And then, you never let go of me because you are such a big loving baby. If someone doesn’t like you, then they aren’t worthy of your time and they deserved the biggest punishment in all the lands !’’ There was a little awkward silence for a couple of seconds, before Remus started chuckling, pressing them even closer to his chest. He was radiating heat, making the Drow melt almost instantly. ‘’You’re right ! I am great ! And anyone who doesn’t think that deserves to die !’’ Dee chuckled a bit before adding in a quieter and sleepier voice : ‘’They do deserve to die, but you know… Maybe not by your hand.’’

Laughter shook the trio as they all went back to sleep. They had their ups and their downs, but they were family and that was something that would never change. No matter what.

And when was happy so was I

When she loved me

The next time that Virgil was startled awake, it wasn’t by his own terrifying dreams or by the lack of warmth in his back, no. It was by Dee. He was trembling next to him, sniffling back tears that were already all over his face. He was obviously trying to be quiet, not wanting to wake them up, probably.

After a bit of hesitance, Virgil closed his eyes, as if he was still sleeping and rolled in Remus’ arms, going closer to Dee. Without a second of hesitation, he dragged the snake man into his arms, using him as a teddy bear.

Dee froze up for a second, before melting into his arms. Sure, the sudden wetness in his neck was interesting and Dee was holding unto him so tightly that he felt as if he was about to be killed by a snake, but… Virgil had cried himself to sleep so many time. He wasn’t about to let his friend do the same.

Slowly, Deceit lowered himself into his arms, only stopping once his ear was against his heart. He hummed a bit, seemingly calmed by the regular sound and tightened his embrace against the Drow.

He started tapping the beat of his beating heart on the Drow’s back, slowly calming down. With his eyes closed, he couldn’t help but slowly fall back to sleep.

The last thing he heard before sleep could finally win him back over was Dee murmuring softly : ‘’This was a such a stupid dream. Of course you two would never leave me alone…’’

Through the summer and the fall

We had each other that was all

Just she and I together

Like it was meant to be

Virgil had his eyes closed, arms open, facing toward the sky. There was no one in the street except him, Remus and Dee. The rain was flowing down the street and running down his cheeks. A small smile was drawn on the face on the Drow. They didn’t get a lot of rain in the Underdark and it was one of those things that he simply couldn’t get used to it, but… Unlike the sun, it didn’t hurt him.

Sometimes, it was cold that he had to spend the next hour huddled near Remus and a fire to feel fine again. Sometimes, it was just so refreshing in the summer heat, but all the time, it was something that just felt so new and so sweet. Remus and Dee would make fun of him for his fascination towards the rain, but they would always indulge him and let him enjoy it to its fullest. Could they really blame him ? Water falling from the sky, a simple gift from the Gods that made life so much easier for everyone. If Dee and Remus indulged him with the rain, they would simply leave the room each and every time that someone would mention thunderstorms. The drow didn’t know why, but it was simply so… fascinating. The shear force behind the lightning, the water that could hit his skin, the incredible sound of the thunder. It was so grand and beautiful. Who couldn’t be mystified by such a force ? Virgil couldn’t help himself but to gush over the subject for a few hours each and every time that someone mentioned it.

Sure, some fools were scared of it, but when Virgil faced these storms ? He felt unbeatable. What could ever change such a pure and powerful feeling ?

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her

And I knew that she loved me

Virgil closed his eyes. He was cold. So very cold. He huddled near the fire.

He missed strong arms that would heat him up.

He missed sly eyes that would make him laugh.

He missed the slightly scaled lips that would kiss his face, his shoulder, his cheek. He missed laughing so hard that his belly hurt.

He missed having someone to talk to.

He missed things that he couldn’t fill with a one night stand.

He missed the people that once filled the aching hole in his heart.

He missed singing drunken song with them.

He missed the sound of their laughter.

He missed the sound of their voice.

He missed the way that the light reflected in their eyes.

He missed the simple curve of their lips when they smiled.

He missed the way that they would tell stupid jokes to make him smile.

He missed having someone who understands his fears.

He missed having somebody to trust.

He missed fighting side by side with someone.

He missed being tranquil and simply smiling.

He missed having somebody to hug, to fill his arms in a way that was so perfectly simple.

But he didn’t have that anymore, so he simply took his backpack into his arms, not even bothering to try and hide the silent tears running down his face as he curled up on himself.

So the years went by

I stayed the same

But she began to drift away

I was left alone

Still I waited for the day

When she'd say I will always love you

His heart was beating so fast that it was the only thing that he could hear at the moment. It was incredibly dark outside, but he could still see pretty well around him. He didn’t want for the floorboards to creak or to bump into some piece of furniture and drop something on the ground. He could not let them know that he was leaving.

In the last few days, he had been silently preparing his escape. Sneaking some bread into his backpack, walking up and down the house as quietly as possible, trying to figure out which door made the least noise when it was opened, all of this preparing him for this moment.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Dee and Remus, it wasn’t that at all, it has just been that, since that time in the cavern, both of them had started to behave so strangely that he couldn’t help but be put off by it. Remus would suddenly act out against him or Dee for no apparently reason, Dee’s voice would change into something softer and weirdly more threatening. Their habits that once were so familiar were now so foreign. And all of that screamed to him that he needed to go. This was a matter of life and death. So even if he was choking on the guilt and the shame of leaving his friends behind, of still, after all these years, wearing so perfectly the name that she gave to him, he had to go ! Biting on his lips, he finally put his hand on the handle of the door, ready to finally go when he heard a voice behind him : ‘’Moonlight… Where are you going so late at night ?’’ Dee… He sounded so sleepy and so confused. He must have woken him up when he got up to leave. Virgil could also now hear Remus’ footstep going down the stairs as the man continued with the voice shaking of a realization that seemed to be slowly growing within him: ‘’I don’t think there anything that we need that would require you to go out so late at night… Come back to bed. Please, whatever you want to do, we can all do it tomorrow. Together. Right ?’’ Virgil didn’t answer, tasting the blood on his lips. Remus rapidly interjected with a voice that the Drow had never heard him use. It was trembling and so, so small : ‘’You do plan on coming back tomorrow, right ?’’ Virgil’s answer was to stay quiet as he unlocked the front door, this seemed to change Dee’s mood from calm and confused to rage. Something else had also changed within the man but this, he wouldn’t know about it until it was far too late to change what was about to happen. What was about to be broken. ‘’You can’t leave, not now ! Why do you even want to leave us ?! Have we done anything to earn your distrust ? We need you Virgil ! Maybe you don’t understand this at the moment, but you soon will ! And I don’t want to have to get through the pain of dragging you back to us. ’’ The Drow quickly opened the door, fear throbbing through his veins, ready to bolt as away as possible from here but, for some unknown reason, he suddenly stopped.

He didn’t know why he wanted to leave. Maybe it was because of the anger ? He did feel so full of hatred right now. Towards whom, he didn’t know, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted to scream. To hit something, someone. To break something, someone.

He turned around as if a puppeteer had just commented him to do so, but his eyes just locked on Remus. At this exact moment, he didn’t really know why, but he just wanted him to die. And if it was by his hands, it would only be better. Virgil started to slightly move towards his target when the Angel moved, knocking Deceit out right then and there, stopping the Drow immediately. His anxiety came back as soon as that strange anger left him. He turned around and ran out the house, not trusting himself or his friends anymore. He kept running and running until he could no longer feel his legs or his lungs, without ever turning back. He swore to himself that he would not turn back. Ever again.

But if he did, he would have seen Remus crying, cradling Deceit’s unconscious body into his arms. He would have seen Dee wake up hours later, so confused and scared before he started sobbing uncontrollably when he finally realized that Virgil was gone and there was nothing they could do to change that.

If he had turned back, he could have seen all that.

Lonely and forgotten

Never thought she'd look my way

And she smiled at me and held me

Just like she use to do

Like she loved me

When she loved me

Virgil was nervously biting on his lips, his arms wrapped around his body. Even if he normally would feel safe and at ease surrounded by Patton, Roman and Logan, he couldn’t help his anxiety flowing through his veins at the moment.

The small group had agreed to work with Deceit and Remus to defeat the Dragon Witch and Horace’s new form to stop them from enacting the prophecy. Of course, they had all agreed to work in a team, but… Virgil couldn’t help but feel anxious. He didn’t trust them. Not at all. Especially not after what Dee to him… He had explained that it wasn’t him, but Horace, who had cast The Crown of Madness spell, which made a whole lot of sense, but still… He had seriously lied to him.

He knew that Deceit was known for his lies. He wasn’t a total idiot ! But still… He had trusted him 100% and Dee hadn’t even deigned to return the favour… So of course he was hurt. Of course he didn’t want to talk to them, but… That resentment wouldn’t affect his reasoning thinking, now... Would it ? They were in an inn, around a table, discussing the two newest members of their party who had just decided to go to sleep. After all, it was pretty late and they were all exhausted from their last fight.

Everyone just seemed to trust others, but Virgil… Virgil could not ! ‘’I just don’t think that we should trust them ! They could stab us in the back at any moment. We need to be ready for it !’’ The group just stilled for a second as they all seemed to be shocked by Virgil’s reaction. Sure, they knew that he had a past with these guys, but he did agree to work with them, didn’t he ? Roman rapidly interjected : ‘’Easy there, Stormcloud ! It’s my brother and his boyfriend ! I trust them, we want to work together and for that, they won’t to betray us, right ?’’ Virgil bit even more on his lips, his nails piercing his arms as he hugged himself even tighter. ‘’It’s just… I know them ! Why can’t you just trust me when I say that we shall all be wary of them ? I’m not asking for much here.’’ Logan cleared his throat, finally pulling his head out of his book : ‘’It’s not that we don’t trust you, Virgil, it’s just that you have a tendency to be paranoid near new people and, statistically speaking, it tends to only sets us back for no reasonable reasons. So it’s only logical that we take your input in this problem with a grain of salt.’’ Virgil stepped back, eyes shot wide open as if he had just been slapped on the cheek. Oh… Oh. So he had been paranoid ? He had been paranoid when this creepy lady had invited them in her home, in the middle of nowhere with a knife hidden under her clothes. He had been paranoid when he had argued that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to follow the large tracks on the ground that seemed to be coated with more and more blood. He had been paranoid when he went looking for Roman when nobody else had and he had seen him cornered, alone with a monster. He had been paranoid when he told Patton to go back to sleep because he seemed to be this close to passing out on the spot. He had been paranoid when he finally convinced to not let the Whispers take freely control of his body. All this time that he had put his life, his body and his heart between his companions and danger, he just had been… paranoid ? Was that all he was ? A pitiful little scared Drow who couldn’t help anyone ? Slowly, he took a step backward before dashing upstairs, ignoring the voices calling his name. He sprinted in the hallway, tears running down his cheeks. Of course ! He had been stupid ! Why did he cared for them ! They never asked for him to do so and he, himself, had never asked for them to love and accept him so why… Why. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why. Why ? Why was he so disappointed ? Why did he feel like his heart was ripped in half ? Why did he feel like this moment, these confused and broken feelings so familiar ? These questions flowed into his mind as he quickly opened the door leading to his room, tears still running down his face, closed it behind him and leaned onto it to be sure that it stayed closed. Just as he was about to sink to the ground, a soft worried voice resonated in the room : ‘’Raven ? Not that I am disappointed to see you here, but why are you- wait ! Are you crying ?’’ In less than a second, warm brown eyes were the only thing that he could see as Deceit slowly wiped away his tears. His touch was so familiar and so soft that, for a second, he could feel himself melting into the touch. He just wanted to open his mouth and lay it all right here, right now. How he had missed them so much. How those two last year were so lonely. How he had been even more scared for them that he had been scared to himself. How he had tried to forget them only to deal with the crushing pain of all those sweet memories coming back to mind. How he loved the others from the deepest part of his heart, but that they could never replace them. He just wanted to melt into their embrace and forget all of his worries, but instead of doing this, he batted Deceit’s hand away as he got back on his feet, replying with a trembling voice : ‘’Everything is fine. I shouldn’t have come here. It was stupid of me.’’ Virgil tried to get out of the room, but a large warm chest was suddenly in his way and two arms wrapped around his body. His face was pressed against the heated body as Remus softly said : ‘’You always were a horrible liar, cuddle bug…’’

Virgil fought back, hitting Remus’ torso as he tried to get free from his embrace, but as soon as he felt Dee in his back, wrapping him in a hug burrito, he just felt his walls crack down. Everything that he felt in the two last years, the fear, the guilt, the shame, the hatred and the incredible loneliness just came back in a single powerful wave. He just stayed there, being hugged by his two friends, tears running down his face and he just… Broke down. ‘’I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, oh my god, this is all my fault… I’m supposed to be the one who protects you, you tell you when what you do is a horrible terrible idea but I encouraged you to go into this cave. I made the fucking plan along with the both of you, I should have been the voice of reason ! I shouldn’t have pushed you there ! I shouldn’t have blamed you, after because everything was different and everything was so scary. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…! I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry…!’’ Remus pressed him closer, his hands trembling slightly in Virgil’s hair, as he said softly in a hesitating voice : ‘’It wasn’t your fault, V… It was never your fault. You were scared and we failed to recognize that. We said that we loved you and we did and we do, but we didn’t even stop to think about how you felt about all of this… And that’s on me.’’ Dee stayed silent for a little while before adding: ‘’I didn’t think that you could accept the truth so I lied to you. I asked you to trust me, but I didn’t even think to trust you. What kind of horrible friend does this ?’’ The snake man slowly turned Virgil around before wiping his tears, caressing his cheek even after they weren’t wet anymore. He slowly moved the Drow’s head to kiss his forehead. ‘’I know that you won’t forgive us that easily, but… Do you want to stay with us for the night ? You didn’t seem to be in a mood to be with the others..’’ Virgil didn’t even hesitate and, a second later, he was on a warm bed, surrounded by familiar bodies. This. This is what he had been missing for the last two years.

A little laughter came from his left : ‘’Vivi, you’re purring’’ ‘’Shut up Remus’’ ‘’All right, all right… But just so you know, if they make you cry again, I will kill them all !’’ Virgil couldn’t help but laugh at the comment. He was back with his family and that was all that mattered at the moment. Tomorrow, he could think of the Dragon Witch or of Horace’s diabolical plans, but right now… His mind was filled with undeniable love.

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart

When she loved me

Virgil groaned as the sun hit his eyes. He rolled over, trying to hide his face in the slim shoulder next to him, earning a small laughter from the person protecting him against the elements. ‘’Well, good morning sleepy head... I was planning to wake you up sooner or later, but seemed I didn’t even have to !’’ The Drow groaned a bit, pulling the blankets over his head. Nope. He was nothing coming out of bed this early this morning. They had traveled all day yesterday, couldn’t he have at least one lazy morning ? ‘’Hey, get up, dearest. Remus has already packed up all of our stuff. If we leave early enough, you could finally see your boyfriends again. Not that I don’t want to see you anymore, but you’ve been saying that you really missed them in the last month and I can’t stand Remus’ brother calling me every day demanding that I return to him his boyfriend.’’ Virgil couldn’t help but giggle at that comment. That did sound like something that Roman would do. He groaned a bit, letting his eyes peek outside of the blanket. The room was unpleasantly light up, but Dee had moved to block him from most of the sun, thing that he was grateful for. ‘’Here you go ! Don’t worry… Even if I let your boyfriends kidnap you for a little while, you know where we live… We can always go off on another adventure anytime that you feel like it. You only have to turn around and come see us. We’ll be right there with you. Virgil smiled a bit. They would be there, wouldn’t they ? Now and forever. Side by side, the Drow felt simply invincible. Especially that now, he wasn’t scared anymore to turn around and smiled at all the ones that he loved. Especially that now, he knew that they would never leave him behind… He knew that he was loved and in all honesty, what could matter more to him ?

--------------------------- So... This took a while to write, but I’m really proud of the end result ! It came out even better than I could have hoped for.

I want to give some big thanks to @ask-fantasy-sanders-sides, Mango you really are inspiring (and this is based on her AU ;) ) Also, big thanks to @ratbastardstan for beta reading this and dealing with my bullshit. Speaking of putting up with my bullshit, @lostchoirchild, you are an angel and I will not change my mind about this fact even if we spent about 30 minutes discussing how to describe someone getting their intestines ripped out. And finally, thanks you to my waifu who endured me writing this when she wanted attention. I love you J !

#ts virgil #ts remus #ts deceit #ts logan #ts roman #ts patton

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chloe-clegane · 5 years

Text

My Devotion and Mah Protection, Our Love - Chapter 2

Summary: Rayla and Callum arrive in Katolis and bring good news with them!

AO3

Prev Chapter

THE KING COMMANDS A FAMILY HUG

Rayla and Callum were already planning to leave for Katolis in a week to make it back in time for Ezran’s birthday. They decided to keep the engagement to themselves so that their families would hear it first. Rayla sent a letter to Ethari the same day they set out. She figured it’ll arrive before they make it to the human kingdoms but that shouldn’t matter too much.

The trip back was exceptionally enjoyable, it was just the two of them riding through Xadia, it reminded him or the first time. The March days were growing warmer and they spent them enjoying the sun and making pit stops to goof off. But the nights were still cold, and body heat was clearly the most efficient way to keep the chill out of their tent. With no one around to stop them, their passions raged freely. Each night after making love they would lay naked in each other’s arms and talk about the future. Everything from the ideas for the wedding, what they want to do after all the battles and conflicts were over. Rayla wasn’t sure if she wanted to commit her life to the Dragon Guard and live the same life as her parents. Callum wanted children and Rayla wasn’t opposed, neither felt even remotely close to ready and that was ok.

Callum relished every moment with Rayla on their trip, her jokes, and her laughter, the way she would turn round to look at him over her shoulder and smile. The feel of her skin under his fingers and the sound of her gasping his name… and the way her horns fit perfectly in his hands while her mouth set every nerve in his body on fire.

For years now they’ve been traveling facing threats of war and attack, Aaravos and his minions are out there now and the world is holding its breath to see what happens next. There have been reports of mages going missing across Xadia but no encounters since their close call a few months ago. But somehow despite it all, this trip gave him a beautiful feeling of freedom. That the two of them could live in this bubble forever. Callum knew his head was in the clouds but luckily Rayla balanced him out as the pragmatist. So every night he casts an illusion and during the day he would mask their tracks with different spells. They were careful but still carefree.

Kissing at sunset and pulling pranks on each other with fart flowers, they were two dorks in love.

Callum hadn’t thought ahead to the fact that their Shadowpaw mounts would draw attention as they rode into his home. When they arrived through the main gates of the city and traveled through town It was a mixed reception. Anytime elves came through human cities or vice versa it brought raised eyebrows and disapproving glances. It was at least an improvement from open hostility. As they rode, they turned heads. Some were surprised and in awe of the foreign creatures, some were happy to see their prince return and others were distrustful and judgmental. He didn’t care for the sneers and aggressive looks that were directed at Rayla. They made him angry but also defiant.

Rayla’s body language was tense, her spine was straight and stiff and her hands clenched the reins so her knuckles were starting to turn white. He rode a little closer and reached for her hand. She flinched and hesitated to take it.

Callum leaned in to speak to her “Rayla, it’s ok. Take my hand, I want people to see us, I’ll not going to be ashamed.” Rayla smiled nervously. “I love you.”

“I love you too Callum.” She still signed.

“It may not feel like it but you are welcome here.” He kissed her hand.

She looked up at the castle’s tall towers sadly “It… I guess… Coming here always brings up the guilt.”

“I know. But the past is the past.”

“And the future is what we make it.” Rayla finished the mantra statement with attempted confidence.

“See! You got this Rayla, we got this” Callum would always be her cheerleader. He knew being here was a source of remorse, the first time she came to this castle was on a mission to kill. She remembers a version of herself who was reckless, angry and didn’t value her own life. The woman she’d become didn’t deserve to feel this way, Callum was certain of that. She squeezed his hand and released it with a smile. She kept her chin up the rest of the ride. He knew she was trying to fake it’til you make it .

When they reached the main courtyard they were greeted by a few guards and a very confused stable boy. He took the reigns of the shadowpaws cautiously, holding them a little away from himself. Callum noticed his unease, “Don’t worry they’re friendly, see.” He gave them scritches behind their ears and they nuzzled him in return. The stable boy still looked apprehensive.

“Wha-What do I feed them?” He asked timidly.

“Oh, yeah. Give them oats and birdseed, there some be some in the saddlebags. Fish is great too. They do not like hay. This one is Bubby and that one’s ChiChi.”

Bubby nuzzled the stable boy and he jumped. When it was clear the creature wouldn’t eat him he quickly warmed up to them.

“I’ll take good care of them your highness” He gave a small bow to both him and Rayla and left after Callum thanked him.

Rayla smiled at Callum. “Maybe yer right, looks like things from Xadian aren’t so scary once you get’tae know them” He squeezed her hand.

“Exactly, humans and elves are warming up to each other. I think in time, it’s only going to get better. Both sides just need to realize, they aren’t so different” She kissed him and gave him the I’m proud of my big’ol goofy human smile.

“And you think we’re going to show people?” she said with teasing skepticism.

“I do!” He pulled her close by the waist and kissed her on her beautiful perfect lips. “We’ve already started to change the world, I think we can keep it up. Now come on, let’s go find my brother”.

Ezran was in the middle of holding court when they arrived. The guard insisted they be formally announced as they entered. “Your Majesty, his Highness Prince Callum has arrived, accompanied by Rayla of Silvergrove.”

“CALLUM! RAYLA!” Ezran jumped from the throne and ran past the startled crow lord. He nearly knocked the couple over with the force of his hug. “I’m so glad you’re here! This is already an amazing birthday, I missed you both so much!”

Rayla chuckled “We’ve missed you too Ez!”

Callum put his hands on his hips “Uhhhh, How was I going to miss your birthday? My little brother is a teenager! How wacky is that?” Callum gave him another hug. Ezran had grown a few more inches since ley last saw him. Long past were the days of Callum crouching to embrace him. Callum had a feeling he was going to be tall like their dad.

Janai had been sitting in a seat of honor beside the dais of Ezran’s throne. As visiting royalty she was allowed to formally sit in on his courts. Her and Aunt Amaya joined to give the travelers a hug. Opeli also chimed in with how good it is to see both of them.

“Opeli, Crow Lord, I think we can be done for the day.” His little brother gave the orders in a very kingly voice but immediately switched back to his regular goofy self.

“As you wish my king.” The Crow Lord bowed and left with his cart, Opeli began rolling up a few scrolls and placing them in a box.

Ezran was beaming and rambled on with questions “Rayla how’s your shoulder? Did you have a nice ride here? Did you get me a cool birthday present? What’s the earth nexus like? How’s the earth primal magic? Callum are you good at it?”

Rayla laughed “Ez slow down, I’m doin’ fine, the trip was...” she smirked a little “pleasurable. Even under torture, I wouldn’t tell you a thing about any present.”

Callum tried to take over “It’s really green and muddy. I’m do-”

Rayla cut him off “He’s havin’ a bit’o trouble and falls on his arse quite a bit”

His brother found that hysterical and he felt the need to defend himself “Hey! I’m getting better especially since we-”

“Had a very nice swim” Rayla caught him from slipping the secret. As with a lot of his magic, love seemed to strengthen him. He wasn’t sure why but after they got engaged some of the spells started to feel a bit easier.

Ez looked confused “Why did swimming help you with earth magic? Also, Rayla you hate water.” Amaya seconded that question. They both wore confused smiles.

Callum noticed Rayla was trying not to blush, which made him happy. “We… well… it was such good quality time. Right Rayla?”

“ Yeah ” She grinned still trying to be nonchalant “it was just the perfect evenin’.” Earlier they talked about telling everyone at dinner. But the way Rayla smiled at him made him giddy.

“Love goes a long way.” He sighed when he looked at her, like the lovesick fool he is.

“Uuuhh, guys? You’re doing that weird thing where you look at each other and talk without talking.” Ezran had raised an eyebrow suspiciously at the two of them “What’s up?”

Exactly as Ezran described, they asked one other for permission, both bubbling with delight they nodded. “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!” They shouted it in unison.

Ezran’s jaw hit the floor. “ WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?”

Amaya and Opeli shared a look of shock and concern.

“We love each other” Callum started before trading off finishing each other’s sentences.

“and we know we never want tae be apart”

“so logically. It’s time that we”

“get married!” They both finished with bursting enthusiasm. Callum wrapped his arm around her and she pulled herself closer. “We couldn’t be happier if we tried!” he tilted his head to rest on hers.

Callum was surprised and proud at just how well synchronized that was. It just confirms his convictions about how perfect they are together.

Amaya was uneasy but Opeli spoke first. “You’re both very young are you sure about this?”

The couple had expected this question “Hey I’ve studied Katolian history, plenty of royalty has married younger than us. I’ll be 18, and Rayla 19 in just a few months”

“Prince Callum keep in mind those were political marriages, maybe you should-”

“Well, this is too, right? In a way”.

“We love each other” Rayla insisted. “There’s no questionin’ it. We want our relationship tae be seen for what it is. Lovin and true, taken seriously No more slinkin’ about”

Callum’s mind went to what they do when they’re slinking. “You wouldn’t have to worry about a licentious prince getting caught if it’s with his wife.” Callum snickered for a moment before realizing what he had just said. Licentious Prince was a name Rayla teased him with privately. His aunt glared at him with narrowed eyes. He frantically tried to back peddle. “Uh-I mean-it-I-if I was hehe, you know hypothetically” Rayla’s red face was in her hands. “I would never-Uh-but Rayla is so beautiful and uh-um-so as my wife… we would-”

Rayla shoved her hand over his mouth and groaned “You all know Callum and I aren’t stayin’ apart, so tae speak. It’s silly for us tae pretend we aren’t.” He was eternally grateful she was willing to clear up his messes. He could only imagine how often she’ll be forced to do it the rest of their lives. She’s his angel.

Opeli spoke up once more. “Just to be clear, and know I ask this as gently as possible. Is there anything we should know, any reason we should expedite things?”

”Like what?” Callum had no idea what she meant and Rayla looked confused.

“Anything that could cause scandal? At this point Callum it’s better if you just tell us now.”

“Tell you what?” He cocked his head to the side.

She looked exasperated and turned to Rayla “are you in a delicate condition?”

Rayla made a face and looked offended “When have I ever been delicate? Have you met me?”

His aunt rolled her eyes and signed, “Are you pregnant?”

Rayla didn’t need that translated. Both he and Rayla immediately went into separate rambling versions of “No”

Ezran just stood to the side cringing at the scene in front of him. “Uhhhhhhh anyways….”

Callum and Rayla both tried to regain their composure and Opeli breathed an audible sigh of relief.

Aunt Amaya’s face softened, she approached him and placed her hand on his shoulder to get his undivided attention before she began signing. “You two are young and... passionate” She cringed slightly, “I know you’re in love and that’s very real, I respect that. But I worry-”

“Aunt Amaya, this isn’t just about, wanting to do that...” He side glanced at his brother. “Sandwich husband and wife thing.”

“Caaaallllum!” Ezran groaned “we’ve discussed sandwiches, I know what you’re talking about.” Now his brother was the one to roll his eyes. “I’m a teenager in 5 days. You just talked about making babies, I’m not an idiot” Callum winced, and looked to Rayla for help. She had her face in her palm and was muttering obscenities under her breath. Their excited, joyful announcement has devolved into a wretched mess.

Their Aunt put her hand up to silence everyone and began to sign. “Callum, please I want to say something important”. He sighed and gave his aunt his attention. “When we lost your mother, I made a promise to myself. You and your brother were her world, she loved you both so much. To honor my big sister I swore I would always protect you, not just your safety but your happiness too. I know that’s what she would have wanted.” Callum hadn’t expected this kind of heartfelt speech. He felt his eyes start to tear up. “So I have to ask you, Callum, is this what you want? I’ve never been married myself, I can’t give advice” She gave a quick side glance to Janai. “But I do know it’s a serious commitment. Vows should never be taken lightly and forever is a very long time. Are you certain that you both love each other, truly? And will this bring you happiness? Not just for today but for your whole life?”

Callum quickly dabbed a tear before it could roll down his cheek, he looked to Rayla and smiled, she smiled back at him and her eyes offered all their support. He mustered his conviction and looked his aunt straight in the eyes “Yes, Rayla is the person I love. In my entire life, I’ve never met someone so kind, smart and brave. She makes me laugh and smile constantly. She makes me better, braver. We were brought together, maybe by destiny or fate or something to save Zym and end the war. We’re meant for each other. I want a future with her more than I’ve wanted anything. I would give up being a mage to be with her. I know we’re young but it doesn’t matter. I know Rayla is the person I want, forever.” He signed some of the words to emphasize them to her. When he finished his declaration he looked to Rayla and saw that her eyes were glassy but still bright and she was smiling only at him.

His aunt smiled, she walked forward and took Rayla’s hand and then Callum’s before bringing them together. Then she stepped back and signed “Then I give my blessing and I truly believe your mom would too.”

Callum squeezed her hand and she leaned forward to give him a small soft kiss.

Rayla turned to the general and signed a little awkwardly “Thank you”. It was one of the basic signs he had taught her.

Ezran spoke up, “You don’t even need to ask me for my blessing! This means Rayla will officially be my sister now and I’m all for that. She’s a part of our family!”

Rayla chuckled and destroyed any evidence of her tears. “I feel the same way about you Ez.”

“Good, because THE KING COMMANDS A FAMILY HUG!” every guard in the room felt the need to repeat him.

Amaya didn’t hesitate to scoop up Callum, Rayla and Ezran, lifting them off the ground and crushing them, making git hard for them to laugh.

Opeli cleared her throat with a smile. “Your Majesty, if this is decided then I think we should discuss details. As your brother stated there are very good political reasons for this marriage, it unites both sides of a divide a millennium long. We have precedents for royal weddings, protocols for inviting dignitaries, there should always be a two week period to celebrate the announcement. I assume with ambassadors and nobility from Xadia we should anticipate at least 500 to 600 guests”.

Rayla started gaping like a fish and looked at Callum with wide eyes for help. Opeli continued “And then we have to discuss feas-”

“Whoah Whoah!” Callum put his arms up in defense “Rayla and I already talked about it and we don’t want a big spectacle”.

Rayla stepped forward and looked back and forth between Opeli and him. “We decided we want it tae be smaller, with only the people that count”

Opeli tried to interject but Callum continued their speel before she could. “and don’t worry, that includes some royalty and dignitaries so it’s still political or whatever.”

“Right!” Rayla agreed. “It’s our day, it’s about our love and our family so that’s what we want it tae be. You’re right, this is the first weddin’ between a Human and an Elf in basically forever, and we know how important that is but we don want tae be paraded and put on show”

“But-” Opeli started

“Ok” Ezran said plainly “You guys shouldn't have to be on public display for something like this” Opeli deflated.

The couple both smile thankfully and gave Ezran a nod.

“We want a traditional Moonshadow Elf ceremony, wiiiith some human touches,” Talking through the plan like this was making him excited.

“And” Rayla added, “we think it should be at the Moon Nexus, that way it’s ah place sacred tae mah people but still on Katolis soil”

“It’s a win-win!” Callum wrapped his arm around her and they both raised their arms in a ta-dah style. They had rehearsed their pitch and it went rather well.

Opeli looked impressed, “as long as the major royalty is invited then I suppose it is a good compromise. We still need to publicly announce it here at the castle”

“Muh only request is that I hear back from Ethari first, I sent him a letter before we left. I just need tae know he’s heard it from me, not by random word of mouth.” Rayla looked a little insecure. “I’m surprised I haven’t heard from him yet… “

Callum squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “We will”

The throne room doors burst open and they all turned to see Soren enter a little winded. “HEY GUYS! Rayla, Callum, I missed you two! I heard you got here so I ran the whole way, it was good cardio. Anyways sorry I’m late, I was for sure totally not doing anything related to surprises or birthdays. Yup! Just the regular kind of not doing anything suspicious to make me late.” He coughed awkwardly. “Did I miss anything?”

Ezran jumped and threw up his arms. “CALLUM AND RAYLA ARE GETTING MARRIED!”

“WHAAAAAAAT!? You guys!!! Best missed conversation ever!” Soren’s excitement was genuine and Callum truly appreciated it. It sometimes baffled him that his once tormenter had become such a steadfast friend.

There was a discussion about announcements and a procession. Once Opeli was satisfied with the plan and had the need information to begin preparing Callum and Rayla were excused to go bathe and settle in before dinner. But before they left the throne room his aunt got his attention. “By the way, the licentious prince thing? You come by it naturally, your mom was a fucking horndog.”

Callum didn’t need to know that. “Please don’t”

“I’m telling you this because I’m a fun aunt, you always want to know what she was like” She was not being fun, she was messing with him. Callum’s face went beet red as he translated for Rayla who immediately broke into cackling laughter. She continued “I remember this one time-”

“NO!” Callum covered his eyes. “NO DETAILS. YOU’RE EVIL!”

Rayla was cackling “PLEASE, I wanna hear a good story, Callum don’ be rude” When he peeked through his fingers Amaya was hugging Rayla. “I’m going to my room!”. She was right, he always loved to hear stories about his mom but this was just… no.

He was glad to get ahead of her. If he cleans up quickly he’ll be able to sneak away for an errand.

#rayllum #older rayllum #rayllum fic #myfics #My Devotion and Mah Protection Our Love #fanfic #ao3 #the dragon prince #rayla #callum #sassy amaya #Opeli is long suffering #Ezran knows what sandwiches are #my fics

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hellas-himself · 5 years

Text

Crack Ship Holidays

Friendsgiving Pt. 1

Soooo this is starting off where we left our two dorks last. This is going to take place before, during, and a bit after thanksgiving Friendsgiving because I don’t celebrate but I do love the day off with my loved ones (and my grandma’s food but that’s besides the point) November is also Rhysand’s birthday month so NATURALLY that’s going to come up. major shout out to @bookloveaffair for letting me drop this crack ship on yall no shame.

I hum along to one of the songs playing on my phone as I tap my pencil against the counter. I have three different budget options laid out in front of me and none of them work. The first one, I pay the rent and my car insurance but not my phone. The second, I pay the rent but not my car insurance to have my phone active in case the school called me. The third- I laugh. I can’t not pay rent. The bar had sent its last check but it was not enough. I was screwed. I only have until the fifth to pay my rent before my asshole landlord starts bitching about kicking me out.

When I hear the front door unlock, I gather my bills and the envelopes I wrote on and put them into a pile. Cassian steps into my apartment and pulls off his hat.

“Can you believe it’s already snowing?” he asks as he closes the door.

“I hope it sticks,” I reply as I slide off the bar stool to greet him. His coat is wet and cold when I hug him but I don’t care. Not when he kisses me the way he does.

“Ready to go?” he asks and I smile.

“Let me go get my coat.”

He kisses me again before I hurry to my room. I grab the bag I packed with more clothes as well as the big bag full of my art supplies. Cassian had said I should have it just in case the school called me so I could just leave directly. His optimism is touching.

Cassian is leaning against the counter when I step out. He looks pensive but once he notices me, he grins and pushes himself off to take the bags from my hands.

The car ride to his house is quiet, but Cassian holds my hand the entire way. Every time he looks at me, I blush. Once we get to his house, I bring Valo outside while Cas carries my things to the bedroom.

“How was work?” I ask when Cassian comes to stand beside me. He puts an arm around my shoulder.

“It was great. Az and I got to work on a piece together. I wish you would’ve been there to see it.”

“Maybe next time?”

He presses a kiss to my temple.

“Yeah. We aren’t done by a long shot.”

“I can’t wait then.”

“What about you, bunny?”

“Well. When I wasn’t texting you, I was cleaning up the apartment and finishing up on laundry. I got my last check from the bar so I deposited it in the bank. I saw Aelin,” I say. “She was on her lunch break. I can’t believe we’d never run into one another before.”

Cassian chuckles.

“Oh and the groomer called to confirm Val’s appointment tomorrow. I told her I’d be there.”

“Thank you, bunny.”

I shrug and call our giant puppy over. Valo runs right into me and I don’t fall thanks to the arm Cassian has around me.

“Hey! Be careful, Val!” Cassian reprimands. Val whines and walks in a circle around us before bumping his head against my hand.

“It’s okay, baby. You’re happy I’m here, huh? I am too,” I say and kiss the top of his head.

Cassian lets me go and walks over to the small bin in the corner of the porch and pulls out a ball. He whistles to get Val’s attention before he throws it. I’m surprised it didn’t go over the fence by the force of it. Val barks and takes off after it.

“Will you be alright?” Cassian asks me.

“What do you mean?”

“With rent and all that?”

Oh. I blush and shove my hands in my pockets.

“I’ll figure it out.”

I don’t have to look at Cassian to know that he’s not satisfied with that answer. But he puts an arm around me and kisses the top of my hair. When Val comes back, I take the ball and Cassian laughs when I throw it. It doesn’t get very far but Val is thrilled.

“Why don’t you go pick a menu from that drawer in the kitchen and pick something for dinner? There’s cash in my wallet.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I would rather spend the next forty minutes with my beautiful girlfriend and our oversized lap dog than have to go inside and cook today.”

I giggled. “Alright. I’ll be right back.”

I give him a quick hug before I walk towards the door.

“Oh, and bunny?”

“Yes?” I stop and turn to look at him.

“I’ve got you,” he says. “Don’t worry about anything.”

I realize he isn’t talking about paying for dinner.

“Feyre’s here. I’ll call you when I get home… I love you too, Az.” Elain smiles at whatever Azriel is saying to her on the phone before she hangs up and slides the phone into her back pocket. She pushes herself off her SUV and opens her arms to me.

“Hey, you,” Elain says as I give her a hug.

“Hey! I hope you weren’t waiting long. There was so much traffic coming here from the dog groomers.”

She kisses my cheek. “No, I just got here. Besides, it makes me feel like I’m in high school again when Az and I talk on the phone. I like it.”

Elain gives me a wink and when she grins, I already know what’s on her mind.

“You look happy.”

I know I’m blushing as Elain links her arm in mine.

“I am.”

“Az says Cassian has been smiling like an idiot lately. I wonder why.”

I roll my eyes but I can’t help the smile on my face.

“He asked me to be his girlfriend, El.”

“He did? When?”

“After the Halloween party.”

“About damn time,” Elain mutters and lets me go to grab a cart. She pulls a list out of her pocket and hands it to me. “Iliana’s been pestering me about you two, she’ll finally leave me alone.”

We share a laugh as we step into the store. Elain’s grocery list is divided by groups and despite the glitter gel pen used, this is Azriel’s handwriting.

“Your husband is so organized,” I say as we make our first stop.

“Well. Since I’m in charge of Rhysand’s birthday cake this year, I figured I’ll get some stuff now so closer to the date I’m not running around. With my luck, I wouldn’t find what I want if I leave it for then.”

“I agree with that wholeheartedly.”

“Speaking of which, I need your help designing it.”

“What’s the theme?”

“Lucien has no idea how to top Mor’s Harry Potter theme last year. The only thing Rhys loves more than that is The Wheel of Time and Lord of the Rings.”

“Oh! I can work with that.”

I hand Elain the list and pull out my phone.

LUCE!!!! Wheel of Time or LOTR? I can do either or. Or both. I hit send and slip my phone into my back pocket. We talk idly as we make our way down Azriel’s perfectly organized list.

“Cas and I take forever to do this,” I say as I grab a tub of ice cream from the freezer. “I might have to steal Az’s idea.”

Elain snorts. “That’s because you two are children. How does Cassian even fit in these carts? I don’t know how you’re still allowed to shop here.”

I smile and push the cart for Elain as we head towards the cashiers to pay. I feel my phone vibrate and pull it out of my pocket.

“I wonder what he decided,” I say as I unlock my phone. But it isn’t a text from Lucien. But from my bank. I don’t realize I’ve stopped walking until Elain tugs on my sleeve.

“Feyre?”

I breathe in sharply and let it out. I clear my throat and shove my phone back in my pocket.

“It’s nothing. It wasn’t Lucien.”

“What’s wrong?”

I shake my head and try to keep going but Elain stops me.

“Feyre. Is Tamlin still bothering you?”

I don’t like the way his name still pierces my heart and makes me feel afraid.

“No. It isn’t him… It’s just…” I stop and look away, needing to keep myself from crying. “Stupid car insurance already took the payment and so did my phone. I’m so fucking screwed.”

“Hey… If you need help, you know Az and I can take care of it.”

I shake my head with a sniffle.

“No. I’ll figure it out.”

Elain puts a hand over mine and nods her head.

“Let’s go pay for this,” she says. “I’m bringing Az lunch today. We can surprise Cassian, too.”

I nod and return her smile.

I don’t see Cassian when Elain and I step into the tattoo shop. But Az notices us and is already making his way over. He kisses Elain as though he hasn’t seen her in forever, leaving my sister blushing. Rhys has gratefully come to sweep me off my feet, literally.

“Hello, darling,” he says with a grin. When he sets me down, Az comes to give me a hug.

“Hungry?” Elain asks, and holds up his Marvel lunch box, a beat up, metal lunch box he’s had since grade school and Iliana had found at her grandmother’s house last summer and he’s used ever since. Az looks at his lunch box and then looks at Elain with a smile.

“I’m starving.”

“Stop it,” she whispers loudly and lets Az lead her away.

“What about me?” Rhys whines and I laugh.

“We both know Lucien is bringing you something.”

Rhys is beaming. “Aurelie is sending left overs.”

Rhys puts an arm around my shoulder and guides me to the break room. Cassian is walking inside from the back door when we step into the hallway.

“Bunny?”

“Hey, Cas.” Rhys wiggles his eye brows at us before he goes off to pester Elain and Az. “Elain made lunch so I brought you some.”

By some weird coincidence, my pink bento box was in Elain’s kitchen cupboard. It’s covered in purple butterflies and blue bunny rabbits. Cassian closes the space between us and takes it from my hands with an amused smile.

“Now I know I didn’t lose your lunch box,” he says and gives me a kiss. “When Lia stayed the night for their anniversary, I packed her school lunch with this.”

“That was months ago, Cas.”

He shrugs and I roll my eyes. I take his hand and lead him into the break room where everyone stops and stares at us. I have to let him go to take off my coat but once it’s hung up, he takes my hand again.

“Finally,” Az says and bites into his sandwich. Elain slaps his arm which seems to amuse him further.

Cassian sits down in his usual seat and pulls me down onto his lap. He slides an arm around me and uses one hand to open the bento box to pull out the sandwich Elain had made. I’m content to lean back and listen while he and the boys talk about their morning. Their plans for the evening.

“What’s wrong?” Cassian asks softly. I shake my head. “Did you eat?”

“Yeah… El and I ate before we left the house.”

“Valo still with Amanda?”

I nod. “He should be done soon.”

I can tell the others are trying and failing at pretending they’re not listening to our conversation despite having their own.

“I’d go with you to get him but I’ve got someone at one.”

“It’s okay,” I say and press a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll walk him over later so we can ride home together.”

Cassian smiles.

After lunch, Cassian shows me the tattoo he’s working on. It’s a full sleeve.

“Bunny,” he says and puts his arm around me. “You zoned out. You didn’t even notice Az’s joke.”

“I did?” Fuck.

“What’s wrong?”

I let out a sigh and lean into him.

“The fucking car insurance and my phone payments went through this morning but that was rent money and I can’t believe I forgot to ask them not to use the auto pay this month.”

“Hey… hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“Cas…” I want to cry. I hate how much I want to cry.

“We’ll talk about this when we get home,” he says and pulls me in for a hug. “Just… consider it. Please.”

I nod. “Let me get out of here,” I say, though I do not wish to be anywhere but here in his arms. “Val should be done soon.”

Cassian kisses me softly. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you,” I say back, and force myself to leave.

My arms are around Cassian’s neck, holding onto him as he kisses me ardently. His grip on my thigh is almost to the point of pain and I know it’s going to bruise. I don’t care. He’s panting when we stop to breathe, and I meet his gaze when he looks at me and I smile.

“Holy shit,” he says breathlessly and adjusts himself so that he’s merely laying on top of me. I don’t want to move. I’m not sure if I could if I tried. “That was…” He whistles.

“You’re carrying me around for the rest of the night,” I manage and he laughs.

“My pleasure.”

Cassian goes quiet as I run my fingers through his hair.

“Bunny,” Cas says, his voice like gravel. “Move in with me.”

I pause. “What?” My voice is no better than his.

“I’ll break the lease.”

“No… I mean. You’re serious?”

Cassian pushes himself up to look at me. The look on his face makes me want to kiss him.

“I don’t want you stressing over something so easily remedied. You practically live here anyway. The apartment isn’t anything more than storage.”

“But Cas…”

“When you start working, you can fight me on bills.”

I scowl and he leans in to kiss me.

“If it’s too soon, I’ll pay the rent.”

I shake my head, hating that there are tears in my eyes. Cassian panics but I reach up to pull him against me again.

“Okay,” I say.

“Okay?”

“I’m sorry I’m crying… I’m just so overwhelmed and-” Cassian interrupts me with a kiss. He rolls us so that he’s on his back and I’m on top of him. My hair falls over my shoulders, and he reaches up to tuck some of it behind my ear.

“You’ll move in with me? Like for real?” He sounds the way he does on Christmas morning and he’s about to get his present.

“Yeah. For real.”

He sighs with relief and then his expression softens. I close my eyes and I feel him brush away the tears still falling from my eyes.

“Don’t apologize for how you feel. Least of all for crying.”

“I know, I’m-” I stop and open my eyes to look at him. I blush. “I’m trying.”

He places his hand at the nape of my neck.

“I know, bunny… I know.”

I smile. “You are the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Though he flashes me a cocky grin, he’s blushing.

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Bunny…”

“Yes?”

“You’re making me blush,” he says in a rather conspiratorial tone. “I have a reputation.”

“But I like it when you blush,” I say with a pout. It’s so hard not to laugh.

“Fuck my reputation,” he declares and kisses me in such a way, I know we’re not going to bed anytime soon.

“Can I have this?” Mor asks and I look up from where I am sitting on the carpet. She’s holding up a red sweater I’ve never worn before.

“Sure.”

I go back to unscrewing the bedframe. Mor had taken the liberty of going through my dresser and closet while Cassian, Az and Rhys moved the heavy furniture downstairs to put in Cassian and Azriel’s trucks. I am giving it all away. Lucien has been changing my address online most of the morning, he even submitted the form to the post office for me.

“Hello, hello!”

I look up to find Aelin standing in my doorway.

“What are you doing here?”

She shrugs and walks over to where I am sitting. I give her a hug when I stand up.

“Rowan had wanted to go to the gym with Cassian but he said he was busy moving his girlfriend out of her apartment and into his lovely home,” she says and pokes my side. “When did this happen?”

“Just a few days ago.”

“That’s unacceptable. I gave you my number, right?”

I shake my head, and she groans. With a laugh, I unlock and hand her my phone. She takes ONE selfie and saves it for her contact picture.

“In one try?” I ask, completely taken aback.

“It’s all about knowing your angles,” she says proudly. “I can show you.”

“Uh… Yeah. Maybe once I’m all settled in.”

Aelin beams at me and hands me my phone.

“Now you have no excuse. I want to know everything. I need to know else I’ll die.”

“Ignore her. She’s no better than Tinker Bell.”

Rowan walks into the room with Cassian right behind him. He comes to hug me hello and he keeps an arm around my shoulder before reaching out to pinch Aelin’s cheek.

“So. Tell us what to do. We’re all yours today,” Rowan says.

“Damn babe. I thought you were kidding when you said you wanted-” Rowan silences Aelin with a glare that has her cackling.

“Uh… My bookshelf? I have a separate bin for the fragile stuff.”

Mor peers out of the closet. She looks like she’s up to no good.

“Let Rowan do the shelf. Come help me get these clothes sorted,” she says to Aelin who wriggles her eye brows as she walks off to join Mor. Rowan follows her and says hi to Mor before shrugging off his coat.

Cassian makes his way towards me as Rowan grabs himself a cardboard box and unfolds it before the bookshelf.

“You alright?” Cas wraps his arms around me. I bite down a shiver from how cold his sweater is.

“Yeah… You?”

“I ordered pizza. Elain is on her way over here with Iliana.”

I smile and give him a kiss.

“Perfect.”

“I’m leaving with Az to drop the furniture off. But call me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

Cassian kisses me, earning a sound of disgust from Mor. When we look at her, she stops and sighs.

“God, I love you guys,” she says and before I notice, she’s got her phone out and I am blinded by the flash.

#crack ship holidays #friendsgiving #cassian x feyre #part one of four #or five #I don't know yet #self indulgence #cuz yall aint ask for this #Feyre is stubborn af #and cassian is the cutest fuckin dork #I love them both so much #Feyre archeron #cassian #also having aelin and rowan here is fun

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thethiefandtheairbender · 6 years

Text

dragons liveblogs tdp

under the cut bc it got long and friendly reminder i have a dragon prince / rayllum sideblog over at @raayllum

i have to separate jack’s voice from sokka before it’s too late

i love rayla that shot of her running on the trees is GORGEOUS with the lighting

are harrow and lord viren a bit... flirty?

rayla is my CHILD THE WAY I KNEW SHE WOULD BE and the music’s fucking gorgeous holy shit

i would die for ezran, bringing bait along to steal sweets from the kitchens

aLL THE SIBLINGS ARE DORKS AND I CAN’T PROTECT THEM

“winter is coming.... eventually” oh my god

“i’ll be fifteen in two months” bIRTHDAY EPISODE???

i just adopted so many children and found so many new wives i’m having whiplash

THE QUEEN OF DRAGONS DOES EXIST IM SCREAMING

that guard is so done im yelling (“i don’t get paid enough to listen to this teenager’s bad jokes” is his internal monologue, always)

just found a new husband from the end credits of the first ep sooo

“PREVIOUSLY ON” THE AVATAR VIBES THO IM CRYING

is the jerkface dance a reoccurring thing in their relationship or WE BETTER SEE IT AT SOME POINT

i love this library and i’m gonna miss it so much aren’t i

claudia is an adorable nerd and i too, am in love with her

“my king” fuck i’m really gonna end up shipping harrow/viren aren’t i

“our mistakes” wtf does that mean

i’m in pain they love each other

smooth callum, real smooth

rayla is such a badass im READY

oH THANK GOD I NEEDED THAT HUG

iS SHE NOT GONNA KNOW HE’S THE PRINCE

rayla’s internal monologue: gotta take the hood off for the bae

“y-you’re not who i thought - you’re one of those with the pointy--” “oh you don’t like my ears?” “no, i mean, yeah, yes, i do, i meant the pointy swords”

“hey you swept the leg” tHEY ARE MY B A B I ES

CALLUM IS WILLING TO DIE IN EZRAN’S PLACE WTF

two episodes in and i’m crying. THAT’S how you know something has good writing

“not a great day for a picnic viren” dID HE AND VIREN GO ON PICNICS DID THEY GO ON PICNIC DATES IM SCREAMING

g a y

tWO HEADED SNAKE

“i have to do this. i’m sorry. i don’t want to, but i have to.” I HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN

ethical arguments are what any good otp is made of

“you mean because you’re with a girl” iS MY SHIP REALLY BEING TEASED RN IM

god bless bait coming in clutch when it matters

lovers quarrel. awkward. also, viren u shady bitch

w h o a

callum stop bantering with your girlfriend and run for your life

fucking amazing

the egg is beautiful

i’m only two episodes in and i have completely sold my soul life is good

poor king harrow man he doesn’t deserve this

THE GODDAMN SOUNDTRACK HAS BEEN SO BOSS THIS ENTIRE TIME LIKE WTF THOSE VIOLINS!! THE MOOD THE ATMOSPHERE!!

aww pip

“geeze claudia don’t insult my husband”

“you look so... happy in this portrait.” “i was. we posed for this a few days after king harrow’s coronation. he insisted i stand next to him for the painting... because he knew i would stand by him through anything.” “and you have.” “so far, yes. i have to stand by him through this, too. i need to be the man he once believed i was.” “what does that mean dad?” “it means there is one more thing i can do to convince him.” “what are you doing?” “if i told you, you would try to stop me.”

FULL ABOARD THE VARROW TRAIN HOLY SHIT I AM HERE FOR HEARTBREAK

rayla and ezran smiling at each other? PURE AS FUCK I AM SCREAMING

rayla and ezran’s friendship is so pure already im

rayla and callum’s banter and him protecting them when she can’t I’M

CALLUM U PRECIOUS BOY

so not gay then?

and sad

“she’s not a fool.” hell yeah callum defend ur gf

“callum, ezran, go.” “but--” i’M IN PAIN

so runaan’s like 35. n i c e

V I R E N U S H A D Y B I T C H

rayla’s always so soft with ezran i’m crying

oh she’s worried about him i really am crying

callum my poor conflicted SON

the bodies

“say the word and i’ll go back into that tower with you.”

runaan you injured beautiful bastard i love you

sHE WANTS TO PROTECT THEM

MY BABIES ARE SMILING AT EACH OTHER

OMG BABY BAIT ON THE END CREDITS!!

pip and bait omg

bait and rayla’s show down? peak comedy

claudia taking care of her brother when it matters <3

oh gorgeous scenery for the funeral

“brother” oH SURE

i already fucking love opelli

oh my god they’re already so casual i’M WEAK

she’s teasing him i’m

she’s so fucking fond of him already i can’t do this

callum letting rayla draw in his sketchbook i’M

“you called me a mage, and that felt... right.”

S C R E A M I N G

“hey sad prince. let’s go get your cube.” EVERY TIME SHE SMILES AT HIM I HAVE A HEART ATTACK I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

this goddamn show is gonna consistently animate the healing of the bite mark on her arm, aren’t they

AMAYA IS BEAUTIFUL AND HAS A SWORD AND A LESBIAN I’M IN LOVE

SHE USES SIGN LANGUAGE WITH A TRANSLATOR

callum trying to protect rayla <3

callum, ur an idiot, but i love you

HE’S SO WORRIED FOR HER

SHE’S MOCKING HIM

EZRAN’S GETTING SOME INTERNAL CONFLICT

GOD I LOVE EPISODE FOUR

rayla still looking for callum’s cube despite everything and the risks that could be involved

aww ezran has so much faith in her I’M SO HAPPY THEY’RE ALL ADOPTING EACH OTHER

“say hello to my little friend” ALL THE LIL QUOTES AND CALLBACKS AND MOVIE REFERENCES??? GOD BLESS

RAYLA LOOKED SO HURT

CALLUM WHY ARE YOU AN IDIOT JUST TELL AMAYA

SEE CALLUM NOW YOU GOT MORE PROBLEMS

is it too early to start shipping amaya and corvis together

viren traded harrow’s soul for pip’s and put harrow in pip’s body, didn’t he

OH THAT BASTARD

he’s smart not to take the label of king, tho

rayla rushing to protect her boys when she thinks they’ve gotten into trouble my hEART

callum u better start treating her better she’s put up with a LOT of ur shit lately

“his death breaks my heart.” g a y

b a i t

the scenery and soundtrack in this show really is always breathtaking

RAYLA AND CALLUM NEED TO STOP MY HEART CAN’T HANDLE THIS

THE QUEEN

I JUST THOUGHT ‘AUNT’ WAS A NICKNAME FOUND FAMILY THING AAH

“pile of bull--- droppings” oH MY GOD

callum i’m ready to kill u

if anything happens to bait i will kill everyone in this room and then myself

callum coming through and saving her THANK YOU BOY

amaya and her translator are also cute

tHEY KEEP SMILING AT EACH OTHER

SO MUCH RAYLLUM CONTENT IM

WE’RE GETTING SHIRTLESS RUNAAN OH MY LORD

“because we’re in this together. they’re my friends now.” RAYLA IS TOO PURE BOYS YOU BETTER START CHERISHING HER, RIGHT NOW

“weirdly excited about sandwiches talk” o H MY G O D

soren u step jogging idiot

i knew bait was gonna burp & i like how callum’s idea only partially worked

NOO EZRAN U GUYS SAVE HIM

“hey sor-bear” that is... so cute

yES callum actually doing the right thing and not just stepping towards and keeping his weight balanced

all this touching and trust!! “callum i need to tell you--”

rayla has so much faith in ezran it’s so heartwarming

IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY. EZ WILL GET IT

god i need this group hug

nO NOT THE EGG

their mom

callum’s such a good big brother

i too, want to be a villain who cuddles dogs

RAYLA IS THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST HOLY SHIT

sticks carrots in. “snow elf”

some classic worldbuilding and propaganda. aaron ehasz, i missed you

watching some guy with a cool sword. this is such a good first date for them

CALLUM THINKING ABOUT HER WRIST BINDING EVEN WHEN SHE ISN’T I’M CR Y I N G

THE BRAID CAME BACK. HOLY SHIT. GOD I LOVE CONTINUITY!!

EZRAN IS SO KIND AND COMPASSIONATE AND LOVES ANIMALS SO MUCH I LOVE HIM

aww he’s making them tea

i wanna trust him but i don’t know if i should

DAMMIT how’s she gonna get the binding off

BABY WOLF

that cave is GORGEOUS holy shit

rayla really loves to tease him and i am loving every second of it

oh no runaan’s binding has been hurting him too

oooh we’re gonna get some good rayla and ezran development. i’m here for it!!

rayla’s insecurity she had as an assassin still transferring over in the new path she’s trying to lead? GOOD SHIT THAT’S SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE

those two talking scenes were so nice in particular, god i love this show

W H A T T H E F U C K

H E CAN SPEAK TO ANIMALS

YES RAYLA DEFEND UR BABY BROTHER CALLUM BACK OFF

IS THAT ALL THE EXPLANATION WE’RE GETTING RIGHT NOW?!

i laughed as hard as claudia did at soren’s joke

i’m so sad i’m on the last episode

what the fuck

aww concerned callum

EZRAN NO WTF ARE U DOING

@THE SPIDER THING: OH HELL NO

soren u are... such an idiot i love you

cLAUDIA I LOVE YOU!! (tdp: giving me women farting on tv, which i didn’t even know i needed, thank you)

WE’RE SEEING THE JERK FACE DANCE??

amazing

W H O A

i love her

i can’t believe my one lil issue with the show of the dog being “cured” of a disability then gets undone in a clever magic way

“she never needed that fourth leg to be happy. everyone else did.” GODDAMN DRAGON PRINCE MAN

I GOT THE ONE THING I HAD ON MY FREAKING WISHLIST IM SCREAMING

BITCH FUCK YES CALLUM IM PROUD OF YOU

I’VE ONLY HAD THAT DRAGON FOR TWO SECONDS BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THEM I WILL GO ON A FUCKING RAMPAGE I NEED TO PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I’D HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL S2 TO HAVE CLOSURE ON THAT BUT IT’S OF!! FUCK YES!!

well

i’m screaming

#tdp spoilers #tdp #the dragon prince #dragons rambles #dragons liveblogs #GO WATCH THIS SHOW HOLY SHIT!!

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impalaimagining · 7 years

Text

PittCon Sunday

(sorry this is so late. my mind has been reeling since I stepped into Jensen’s hug. cut comes after the gold panel)

My heart was racing as I typed this because it contains the letters to Jared story and the interaction between he and I as I gave him the binder and reliving that moment is everything I ever wanted. My liiiffeeee <3333

Part One (Gold Panel):

They come walking down the glass bridge. Jensen waves. Jared pushes him aside and becomes the star of the show. Jared takes off his beanie and everybody screams (still don’t understand how he does it).

Someone in the second row continues to talk to Jared from her seat instead of waiting to be selected for a question. (*heavy eye rolling from me*)

Jared and Jensen are sleepy little dorks and I love it. They’re still running on Vancouver time. Jensen didn’t sleep Saturday night, he watched the hours roll by. Jared says we should’ve called Jensen and invited him out with us. Jensen’s got “about two hours of solid” him left before it gets either “really interesting or really boring.”

Jared realizes the actress who plays Hitler granddaughter is from Pittsburgh. They’re “chuggin’ along” with filming - already on episode six.

Jared says they’re still waiting for the call for season 14 renewal.

Fan is upset because Jensen promised to sing at SNS this year. He laughs and asks, “You believed that?!” He blames timezone switches and Rob, because Rob “likes Pittsburgh to himself.”

They’ve been on a juice diet because “summer was hard” on them (specifically Jared - who still looks incredible, by the way). As Jensen was walking on stage, he found a cup of goldfish crackers and stuffed a handful in his mouth. He comes on stage still chewing. They’re already talking about getting burgers for dinner Sunday night.

Jared envies people who can draw because he loves to do it but is “really bad at it.” Jensen makes a “mean stick figure.” They joke about they wish they could take their profession anywhere the way musicians and sketch artists/painters can. Jensen laughs and says he envisions Jared standing in front of a t-rex exhibit “To be! Or not to be!”

Jared takes on “Misha form!” while answering a question about their childhood memory. Jared tells the story of Tom starting kindergarten. He was flooded with emotions while the other parents were already used to taking their kids and just dropping them off. Meanwhile Jared is crying. Jensen says he has a lot of good childhood memories, but one of his favorite is his sixth birthday. He woke up and put on his cowboy outfit, complete with six-shooters and a sheriff’s badge. He walked outside and there was a horse in the yard for him to ride. Their yard wasn’t big, but he rode the horse in circles and shot his cap guns.

Jensen was never “into” sports medicine, but it was what he chose as he selected college major originally. Jensen says he thinks it would be fun to be a boat captain. Jared planned on going to school for engineering to follow in the footsteps of his brother. Instead, his brother ended up becoming a surgeon, and Jared thinks he would’ve followed that path as well. Jared’s other career options are doctor or teacher. “It’d be fun to be a wildlife photographer,” according to Jared. Jensen decides he wants to be a food and drink writer. Jared mocks avocado toast, Jensen says he’ll wolf one down if it allows him to travel to Italy.

Jared has so much trouble with his microphone.

They’ve never dreamed as Sam and Dean, but they dream about them and the set. Jared has had dreams about Kim Manners since his passing, where they talk, “which is... interesting.”

Danneel has to tell Jensen to stop using the Dean voice. Other times she’s like, “Can you please use the Dean voice...?”

Fan says alternate universe in s12 was out of left field but it was awesome. Asks if the boys have been surprised by anything the writers have thrown into the plot. Jensen says French Mistake. Jared says his big left field moment was when he traveled to Los Angeles before season 6 and met with Sera. She told him about soulless!Sam and he had to hide his gut reaction because he was right in front of her instead of being on the phone like he normally would be. Soulless!Sam is one of Jared’s favorite character twists.

Jensen would never rule theatre out of his life as a future option. He doesn’t currently have plans to return to the stage, but he wouldn’t mind going back. Jared says he hasn’t done theatre in a long time, and he loved it. It’s the “best training ground possible,” but it’s hard to keep it fresh. Jared compares theatre to doing squats for thirty minutes. Jensen laughs and mocks him. joking about never skipping leg day.

A fan is getting fired for being at the convention. Asks about binge watching because she has a lot of free time now. Jensen says he watched Ozark in a week. Jared says Breaking Bad, but he’s on to Ozark because of Jensen’s recommendation.

Fan gives suggestions for food places. A place called Burgatory. Jensen asks if there are any exits.

“Did someone say Sanchez?” - Jared... why

Unicorns or dragons? Jared: unicorns ‘cause they’re not going to kill me, and they fart rainbows. Jensen: I’m gonna go dragons. Speaking of dragons... anybody watch game of thrones? Jared jokes about Jensen ruining the show for him by mentioning dragons. Jensen asks if everyone is caught up. Fan says no. Jensen: “earmufffssss!” He thinks they totally ripped off the demon!Dean transformation scene.

Part Two:

Jensen Ackles photo op!

Was a little nervous but not really because like yeah he’s adorable and Jensen friggin Ackles but I didn’t have anything to tell him or show him so it was nothing like Misha (or Jared).

I walked up and said, “Hi! How are you?” He smiled and said, “I’m good. Tired. How are you?” I kind of yelled a little bit when I responded but it was so worth it. “Great now!” And then I proceeded to throw my arms around him and Chris took the picture. Jensen rubbed my shoulder as I was walking away.

His hugs are so soft and gentle. His voice is so sweet and smooth. Jensen Ackles smells amazing and he’s so... *sigh*

Part Three:

JARED. PADALECKI.

This is the motherfucking ultimate high point of my weekend. I met. I hugged. I got a photo with. Jared. Padalecki.

As I walked up, my heart was pounding let me tell you, boy. He smiles and says, “Hi!” oooh lawd his breath smells like booze and it’s something of my dreams (don’t ask.). I can smell his cologne. Y’all weren’t kidding when you said he uses a fuckton. I love it. I’m all giggly and nervous and I’m like, “I wanna show you something!”

I spin around and pull my hair back off my ear and show him my tattoo. He - I kid you not - screams over the music playing. “NO SHIT!” I nod and give him this giant smile. “That’s my handwriting!!!” Yes it is you big, beautiful man. “That’s awesome!” I’m in fuckin euphoria and I don’t even feel him lean against my head when Chris snaps the photo. I have no idea if I even looked into the camera at this point. I’m praying to God I did and as I leave, Jared gives me a little pat on the back and when I turn around, he’s still smiling at me. “Thanks so much!” I get a wink. I GET A MOTHERFUCKING JARED PADALECKI WINK I AM SIMULTANEOUSLY LIVING AND DYING. (the next person in line was already next to him while this is all happening, LOL)

I practically skip out of the room but there are no tears. How did I do this??? This man makes me so fucking happy I didn’t even cry??? Jared is my savior. That’s it.

Part Four:

Jim Beaver. What an adorable father-like man.

I’m thoroughly convinced he’s drunk when he comes on stage. Jim Beaver danced. Like... heavy footwork, light on his toes danced. He’s holding a coke can and I can pretty much guarantee it wasn’t just soda in that can.

I don’t remember much of his panel but the first thing he said was, “Hey idjits!”

A fan asked him to say balls. It was... kind of awesome.

A young girl came up to the mic to ask a question. He called her on stage and knelt down at her eye level. “Is that all you see???” She laughed. She has the same name as his daughter. They’re spelled the same way. “Are you my kid?? How weird would that be if my kid came all the way here and I didn’t know it. I didn’t buy her a plane ticket, I know that!” She asks her question (which I forget because I suck) and after he answers, he hugs her and sends her back off the stage.

Part Five:

J2 main panel. Boys come running down the center aisle through the crowd. Pretty convinced their body guards/handlers hate them lmao.

I’m not going to go through every question like I did for the gold panel. Jared and Jensen are perfect. That’s just about all you need to know.

Jared’s pretty sure he’s going to get in trouble for jumping. His back has been hurting. “The medicine, it works!”

It’s a glorious Sunday because “Dallas hasn’t played yet.”

Jared’s pretty sure turning 35 makes everything stop working.

Jim Beaver walks by in the glass bridge. Jared has the crowd yell “come back!”

Jensen thanks football fans for giving up opening day to be at the convention. Says it’s hard not to be in front of a tv on the first football Sunday. Terrible towels come out.

Jared compares having three kids to “drowning... and then someone throws you three kids.” Jensen originally only wanted one kid, but Danneel wanted three. They compromised on a second pregnancy. ... “You always find a way to get what you want, don’t you, ladies?”

Jensen apologizes for having to leave the J2 photo ops earlier in the day because Danneel had called him multiple times. He thought something was really wrong. When he called back, she asked if he could FaceTime quickly. Arrow was saying “dada.” “Unfortunately, it was our plumber that was there...”

If I had been playing the SPN Con drinking game I would’ve been wasted the entire weekend. Good Lord.

Jensen’s favorite episode to film was Baby. Jared’s favorites include episodes like Baby, French Mistake, Changing Channels, and Hollywood Babylon. It was the first time they were allowed to make fun of themselves and the industry. After filming Hollywood Babylon, they convinced the crew to give them the bigger trailers since they were already on set.

Working with kids depends on their parents.

Jared mentions GameBoy. Jensen has a moment like dude you’re so old why are you bringing up GameBoy. It becomes a running joke throughout the panel.

“Does your face hurt, Jensen?? Because it’s killin’ me!” ... dorks.

They turn off Sam and Dean when they go back to their real lives. It’s easy for them at this point to flip the switch of the emotional pain Sam and Dean go through because of their friends and especially their family.

Part Six: AUTOGRAPHS AND THE BINDER (!!!!!!)

Guys guys guys I’m freaking out at this point. I know how much trouble I could get in for giving something to Jared. The handlers are going to hate me. According to a friend, “They’ve kicked people out for less.” hashtag fuck.

Something happens with another fan and the woman announcing rows to head back to autos is wrapped up with other things. I waited so much longer than I should have. It was horrendous and put me that much more on edge.

Finally my row is called. I’m only in the fourth row. Why did it take this long.

Steve Miller Band is playing from Jared’s phone onto a bluetooth speaker while I’m standing in line. When I get to him, it’s Fly Like An Eagle.

“How’re you, sweetheart?” *dies* He signs my book. “Did you read it?” I nod and say yes, of course. “And...?!” I told him I loved it and I thought it was very brave of him to share as much and as honestly as he did. He smiles and then I bring up the binder.

Me: “I actually have something to give to you, and I know it could get me in a lot of crap for doing it this way. This is a project I put together. It’s letters from me and a lot of my friends because we just wanted to thank you for what you’ve done and let you know how much you mean to us. I don’t expect you to read them all, there’s a lot of them in there.” J: “I do like to read! *he’s flipping through them, paging to see just how many there are* No way! Damn girl!!!” Me: “It’s just something we did for you.” J: “Thank you. Thank you very much. Please pass on my gratitude to whoever sent you a letter.” Me: “I will, thank you!!!” J: “Thank you.” AND THE FREAKIN’ SMILE OMG.

I don’t know how I lived. I don’t know how me and my shaky knees made it to Jensen’s autograph line but I did and he is such a sweetheart, my goodness.

I slipped Jensen my book and he was just so tired omg it’s so sad and adorable. He signed the wrong page of my FDEWB book because sleeeepy.

He slid it across the table to me and I thanked him for everything. He said “You’re welcome.” And patted the back of my hand and again, *i die*

THUS CONCLUDES MY FIRST EVER CON WEEKEND MY LIFE HAS BEEN MADE AND JARED HAS THE LETTERS AND MY SHIRT /STILL/ SMELLS LIKE HIM.

#Taylor Takes PittCon #PittCon 2017: The Jared Padalecki Project #PittCon2017 #PittCon #SPNPitt #Supernatural PittCon #Supernatural Pittsburgh

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tothelasthoursofmylife · 7 years

Text

I dedicate this chapter to my brother because it's his birthday today. He has no idea that I am writing this (I mean both the FF and dedication) but if some very odd galactic coincidences ever make him go through the Kuroshitsuji tumblr tag and read a lengthy Cloudia/Undertaker FF: Happy 26th birthday, you hiding-birthday-presents-under-pillows-dork.

“Everyone can break.”

Countryside, England, United Kingdom – April 1848

~Cedric~

The clock was ticking.

Right before I had gone to sleep yesterday, I had received a message from Cloudia via the skull pendant that I should take tomorrow off and come to the manor at twelve o’clock. Now, I was sitting in the manor’s library, staring at a grandfather’s clock on the far opposite wall.

Alfred had welcomed me when I had arrived and told me that I should wait for Cloudia in the library. I was sitting here for almost an hour now, and I honestly wondered if she had forgotten about me.

“Hello, Undertaker,” Cloudia said when she finally arrived ten minutes later.

I had last seen her five days ago on her birthday, and back then, she had not looked very well. But she had still looked better than right now: her hair and clothes were as orderly as ever, but she looked shockingly pale as if she hadn’t slept for days, as if she had been drained of all colours.

“Are you fine, Countess?” Cedric asked when he followed her through the corridors.

“I am as fine as the circumstances allow it,” she answered, keeping her eyes locked in front of her.

“And how fine do the circumstances allow you to be? I guess not much because you look awful.”

She stopped to look at him, and he grinned. Cloudia sighed and resumed walking. “I will tell you when I will tell everyone.”

He frowned. “‘Everyone’?”

“The rest of the Aristocrats,” Cloudia said. “And now, you can jump around joyfully like the child you are.”

“Didn’t you say that you would never allow me to be in the same room as Barrington Weaselton?”

“Times change, Undertaker. And please, just keep walking now. I am not in the mood for talking.”

Cloudia was always in the mood for talking. Sometimes, it was really hard to make her stop.

***

It was the first time that Cedric had ever stepped inside the Aristocrats’ Bureau. He knew what kind of room it was – a private place with especially thick walls where the Aristocrats of Evil could gather and talk about business – and how to get there as Cloudia had shown him around Phantomhive Manor a few months after they had made their deal. However, as the manor had a lot of rooms, Cloudia had only opened every door, told him a few things about each room before proceeding. It had still taken them the entire day.

“My lovely Cloudia!” said a voice as soon as Newman opened the door to the bureau for Cedric and Cloudia.

An immensely beautiful woman with blonde locks and dark brown eyes approached them, a smile all over her face. She was pale, perhaps even as much as Cloudia, and looked like she had just stepped out of a tale about princesses and princes, of angels and faeries. The woman’s beauty was mesmerising and the fact that she was wearing mourning clothes highly irritating.

She briefly hugged Cloudia. “How are you, my dear? We haven’t seen each other in so long now,” the woman said, holding Cloudia’s hands.

“As fine as the circumstances allow it.”

“But what do the circumstances allow, dear?”

“I asked her the same,” Cedric interjected, grinning, and the woman turned her attention to him, a sly smile on her cupid’s bow lips.

“Kristopher Underwood, the 46th Duke of Underwood, the nephew of the late Wallace Underwood,” she said, letting go of Cloudia and extending her hand to Cedric. “Marchioness Cecelia Williams – such a pleasure to finally meet Cloudia’s enigmatic addition to our small group.”Cloudia’s enigmatic addition to our small group.”

“Shouldn’t you have waited for Dia to introduce the two of you?” a man with short brown hair and a moustache said from a couch in the back of the room.

Cecelia smirked at him. “We are under colleagues, Barry, I think we can forget about etiquette in these walls.”

“You are not allowed to call me that.”

She shrugged and turned back to Cedric. “Cloudia did her best to hide you – but eventually, all little secrets come to light.” Cecelia ran a hand over his arm. “I cannot believe that she withheld someone like you from society.”

“Stop this nonsense, Williams,” a raspy voice said, stepping forward. “He is not one of your puppets – he is one of us.” A tall man with grey hair and a grey beard had joined them. He looked the oldest out of everyone in the room, but his blue eyes were young and cold.

“Oh, who says that you people aren’t my puppets?” Cecelia said.

“Because it is Mylady’s game we are part of.”

“My dearest Oscar, aren’t we all playing our own little games?”

He ignored her and looked at Cloudia who cleared her throat before speaking. “Duke, let me introduce you to your fellow Evil Noblemen. Cecelia already gave you her name. The tall man in front of you is called Lord Oscar Livingstone – and the man in the back who is too lazily to stand up and greet us is Sir Barrington Weaselton.”

“Insults before greetings, Dia?” Barrington said from his seat.

“Always insults before greetings.”

Cecelia linked arms with Cloudia. “Oh, we haven’t gathered in so long now!” She gazed at Cedric. “You need to know that Cloudia prefers to work on her own – she only writes letters to us for business and invites us for emergencies. You, however, are the lucky one who gets to work right alongside her.

“Say, Oscar, when was the last time we all have been here?”

“You can answer that for yourself,” Oscar replied, returning to his place in the seating area.

Cecelia smiled at Cedric. “The Case of the Hanged Men – March 14 to March 29, 1846. Fifteen days of absolute terror and mystery hanging over London. Fifteen days in which Barrington, Oscar, and I stayed in the manor to help our dear Cloudia and make sure that she doesn’t fall apart right before her sixteenth birthday.”

Ah, I remembered this case. Every night for around two weeks, men had been hanged on clotheslines. People had barricaded their houses and taken down their lines, police had patrolled the streets of London without pause – and the Aristocrats of Evil had worked as they had never worked before. Still, the city had woken up to men hanging from clotheslines, and it had taken rather long to unfold the mystery.

It had been a busy time for Grim Reapers.

“I am never falling apart, Cecelia,” Cloudia replied, scowling, and for a very short time, worry ran over Cecelia’s face. “Of course, you don’t, love.”

Cecelia led them to the seating area, and everyone sat down. Before Cloudia could say anything, Barrington raised his voice, eying Cedric.

“So you are Duke Underwood.”

“Kristopher.”

“My name is Barrington Weaselton.” He shook his head. “Dia – from which field did you pick up this moron?”

“Where were you born again?” Cloudia said, and Cecelia chuckled while taking a glass filled with wine from the side table. Newman seemed to have set it earlier with cups, a tea pot, and some snacks. Cecelia had got the wine from the bar in one of the corners of the Bureau though.

“You are one year older now, Dia,” Barrington continued, “I think you should stop being so mean and start being more mature.”

“You are forty-four, Barrington, and you are still behaving like a child. You are not in the position to tell anyone to become more mature.”

He turned to Cedric. “I am never behaving like a child – I am forty-four years old after all. I raised two children–”

“Kamden was raised by Phyllis and Frederick and Dr Alan, and I basically raised myself,” Cloudia cut him off.

“You didn’t raise yourself. How can a child raise itself? You had this very charming governess – what was her name again? I forgot it because of all her charm.”

“Agatha.”

“I meant the charming one.”

“Agatha was the only governess I’ve ever had.”

“Then, I must have imagined the charming one.”

“Apparently, yes.”

Again, Barrington turned his attention to Cedric. “Oh, where did I stop? Ah, right. I raised two children, am a veteran Villainous Nobleman, travelled through the world, fought against monsters…”

“Monsters?” Cecelia looked up from her drink.

“Metaphorical monsters, not real ones.”

“You cannot fight metaphorical monsters; you know that, Barry.”

“Don’t call me ‘Barry.’”

“I am still right, dear.” She took a sip.

“Well… I raised children, am a veteran, world traveller, monster fighter…”

“How long will you keep this up?” Cloudia wanted to know.

“… and I put up with Dia for eighteen years now. Normal fathers, veterans, world travellers, and monster fighters wouldn’t have managed that for so long.”

Cloudia cleared her throat. “Can we please start our meeting now?”

“We cannot,” Oscar said, and she frowned.

“Why can’t we?”

“Because, I am afraid, Mylady, you need to be at your finest to sit through a meeting.”

“I am fine, Oscar.”

He looked at her – he didn’t blink; he didn’t show any emotions. Oscar only looked at her.

Apparently, Cloudia had chosen the oddest of people she could find to be part of her group of Aristocrats of Evil.

“I am… I…” Cloudia sighed. “I should have picked up more agreeable Aristocrats. And what do you suggest, Oscar? What do you think can bring me back to ‘my finest’?”

“Horseback riding – when was the last time you went riding?”

“You sound like Thomas.”

“In that regard, Holmwood seems to be wiser than you, Mylady.”

“I cannot go riding when we have to talk about something of such importance,” Cloudia said.

“We will not talk about anything; we will only listen to the canon of Weaselton’s, Williams’, and Underwood’s relentless chatter until you caught some fresh air and sorted that chaotic head of yours, Mylady. You know very well that we will achieve nothing if your mind is not completely with us. Especially today of all the days you could have chosen as a meeting date.”

“Oscar, my head is not chaotic.”

Again, he didn’t say anything; he just looked at her.

“I am doing very well.”

Oscar didn’t move, and Cedric wondered if he had mastered the art of falling asleep with opened eyes.

“I don’t need you to tell me anything about chaotic minds, Detective Chief Superintendent Livingstone.”

He still didn’t do anything. Even Cecelia and Barrington didn’t do anything to interfere.

Cloudia sighed and stood up. “Very well. I guess I will see Falada now. I will return in around an hour – and then, we will definitely start the meeting. No nonsense, no rambles, no ‘Cloudia, you look a shade paler than usual but, of course, that automatically means that you aren’t feeling well not that you weren’t outside for a while.’”

“Aye aye, Watchdog,” Cecelia said, raising her glass. “We will see you in an hour then. I already miss you, sweetie.”

She waved at Cloudia as she grumpily left the bureau.

“I have never met anyone who was able to intimidate the Countess,” Cedric said when she was gone. “How did you do that, Mr Livingstone?”

“Practise, experience,” Oscar answered and poured himself a cup of tea. “I have known Mylady for five years now – and I was able to read her in less than five seconds. She is only an enigma for beginners, fools, and herself.”

“Rodomont,” Cecelia said. “It took me eight seconds.” Then, she smiled like a devil at Cedric, and, immediately, he knew that nothing good would come now. “Now to you, dear. Did you know that I have known your uncle, Wallace? He was such a fine man… his eyes didn’t have the odd colour of yours, but the shape was the same. You resemble him a lot, has anyone ever told you that?”

Wallace Underwood had been a real person? All this time, I had thought that Cloudia had made him up just like she had made up everything else too.

Cedric nodded. “Yes, everyone keeps telling me that.”

“Oh, really? That comes to a surprise to me because you don’t look like him at all. Wallace Underwood was an ugly idiot who neither had any children nor nephews.” Cecelia turned to Oscar. “I think doomsday is around the corner – Barrington was right: Cloudia took in a moron.”

“I am right here, Cecelia,” Barrington said but was ignored.

Cecelia dug her fingers into Cedric’s arm. “So, now, would you be so kind and introduce yourself with your real name? Then, you can proceed with telling us how you really met our dear Cloudia and what is the goal you are pursuing.”

Surely, it hadn’t been a good idea to sit down next to her.

Cedric freed himself from her grip and glared at her. “What goal are you pursuing? You said earlier that you were all playing your own games.”

“I want to take revenge on the people who took my dearest Michael, the love of my life, away from me,” Cecelia said without hesitation, and, only now, Cedric could see the coldness in her dark eyes. “Even if that means to work for the crown and give me to sin. Oscar’s game is so dark and twisted that you may go mad upon hearing it – your mind simply doesn’t seem to be very strong. And Barrington? Barrington is picking up old figures and struggling to protect Cloudia after he couldn’t protect her father.”

She raised her chin. “It is your turn now, impostor dear – what game are you playing? What made you want to become an Aristocrat?”

“I…”

“Ced – wake up! It is time to wake up, Ced!”

“Before I met the Countess, my life was boring – I did the same things every day for many years,” Cedric ultimately said. “I had nobody; for years, I was all alone. Then, I encountered the Countess and saw a way to break free from my boredom; that’s why I took it.”

Cecelia laughed. “Do you really think that we would believe this? You became an Aristocrat only for fun? Just because you were lonely you associated with the Queen’s Watchdog? That’s absolutely ridiculous.” She narrowed her eyes. “I have no idea who you are – and that worries me. I can only grasp a few things concerning you – the rest is locked up tight behind a steel door. As if you were a dead man. I need to be sure that you will never hurt or exploit our Cloudia.”

“Let Underwood be, Williams,” Oscar said. “Certainly, he will never do Mylady any harm.” Oscar’s gaze briefly met Cedric’s and a shiver stabbed right into his spine. Then, Oscar looked back at Cecelia, and Cedric could breathe again. He hadn’t even noticed that he had held his breath.

He was a monster. This man was a monster.

“And if I am correct, not even she knows about the demons chasing Underwood – and before he tells us about himself, he should open up to Mylady first,” said Oscar.

Cecelia stood up and grinned at Cedric. “I hope so. Let me tell you something, my dear Not-Kristopher, we all decided to become Aristocrats of Evil because of personal reasons, but that doesn’t mean that Cloudia is only important to us for business’ sake. We all enjoy her presence, and that poor girl already does herself enough harm – we cannot allow someone so close to her to hurt her too; it could ruin her. And how would the world look like without our Cloudia?”

She walked to the bureau’s bar.

“Especially for someone like you, Not-Kristopher, who only became an Aristocrat for fun, for someone like you to whom Cloudia was the first star in a never-ending dark night, a world without her would be rather gloomy.” Cecelia poured herself a new glass of wine. “Don’t you agree?”

Why did Cloudia have to surround herself with such dangerous people?

And how could she leave me alone with them?

“I have no reasons at all to ever hurt the Countess,” Cedric said, getting more and more annoyed because of Cecelia. She put down her glass on the top of the bar and turned around to him, and the smile on her face had something oddly soft in it.

“Cloudia Phantomhive is so much – my one and only friend, Oscar’s anchor, the daughter Barrington never had and simultaneously his second greatest failure. And to you, Not-Kristopher? To you, she is the person you love the most – the Queen of Your Heart.

“You love her even though you do your best to bottle up your feelings. You love her, but you are still lying to her. I am not certain how Cloudia’s feelings for you look like, but I assure you that she holds you dear although she would never admit it. You are lying to her about your feelings; you are lying to her about the true reason why you became an Evil Nobleman – what would happen if she found out about your lies? Don’t you think she would be hurt? Don’t you think you are hurting her with every day you don’t tell her the truth? One of the things Cloudia Phantomhive hates the most is when someone withholds something important.”

“I am not in love with the Countess,” Cedric set right. “And I don’t lie to her.”

“I hope so,” Barrington said, glaring at him.

“Denying will not help you,” Oscar meant, taking a sip of his tea. “Confessing, however, will.”

“Nobody confesses to Dia,” said Barrington, but was ignored.

“You hurt her as much as you hurt yourself with this,” Cecelia continued. “Oscar is right – you should tell her what needs to be told as soon as she returns from riding out. Cloudia will finally know about your intentions, and it is better if she breaks your heart sooner than later.”

“I am not in love with her,” Cedric said again. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

“It is not healthy to lie to yourself, Not-Kristopher. We all saw – and with ‘we all’ I mean ‘Oscar and me’ – how you looked at Cloudia. For the short time, she was in the Bureau, you could not take off your eyes from her – you may not have noticed it yourself, but we surely did.”

“I didn’t take my eyes off her because she walks around like a ghost and I am worried,” Cedric replied, annoyed. “I have no idea what is going on – what happened that made her like that – but I know that she shouldn’t be all alone outside right now.” He stood up and headed towards the door, but before he could open it and leave, someone raised their voice.

“You want to know what happened? Someone died.”

***

~Cloudia~

I couldn’t believe that he had made me do that.

We had so much to do today – and he had just sent me away. I wasn’t a child anymore. I was used to being locked up; I was used to locking myself up.

In her riding gear, Cloudia walked towards the stable and with every step she took, the familiar scent of horses and hay became more and more intense.

“Lady!” someone called her. With a smile on his face, Thomas Holmwood waved at her from the stable.

The first thing Cloudia had done after her decoration was to replace every servant Agatha Bolton and King William IV had employed. And during this shift in the Phantomhive household, Thomas had come to her, asking her to be her stable boy. At first, she didn’t want to employ someone who was only two years older than her – especially when he was terribly annoying – but Barrington had suggested a test trial and Horse Boy wouldn’t be Horse Boy if he hadn’t proven himself to be worthy of being a stable boy.

Because I couldn’t get back Mable and the others…

Because I couldn’t let them see what I had become…

Because I couldn’t take them away from the new lives they had built…

Because…

“Hello,” Thomas said when Cloudia reached the stable. “What are you doing here, Lady? Aren’t you having one of those secret meetings with Miss Merry Widow, Mr Silent Scary, and Sir Barrington? Oh, and with Kris. Nearly forgot him.”

He frowned and examined her. “You are not looking very well, Lady – did you fight in there?”

“I… We…” She took a deep breath. “I am here because I want to ride out with Falada.”

“Are you sure that you are fine, Lady? You didn’t ride out with him in a very long time.”

“I am fine. Can you… Can you just prepare him?”

Thomas shrugged. “If you say so, Lady. But if something happened, you can just talk to me. Even though you are my employer and I am only a servant. After all, we have known each other for quite a while now, haven’t we, Lady?”

Cloudia nodded absentmindedly, and Thomas vanished inside the stable. She leaned against the manor’s façade.

“Even though you are my employer and I am only a servant.”

I closed my eyes.

“Lady?” Thomas said, and Cloudia opened her eyes again. Her head was spinning, and she needed a while to be able to see Thomas’ face properly.

“Hm?”

“Falada is ready – but I don’t think you should ride out right now,” he said, his eyes widened. “You are really not looking well, Lady. You should go to bed. You should drink this disgusting milk-honey drink of yours and sleep.”

“I am fine, Thomas,” Cloudia waved away, and stroked Falada, her bay Thoroughbred. “Hi, old friend. Long time, no see.”

She was about to mount her horse when Thomas took hold of her wrist and forced her to look at him. Cloudia had never seen him so serious.

“I know what day today is,” he said with a low voice. “And I don’t think you should do this – not today. You can ride all day tomorrow, but not today.”

“Let me go, Thomas.”

“I’ve known you for six years now. In these six years, I’ve seen the best and worst of you, but I’ve never seen you like this. Not even on this day. In these six years, you have never missed an opportunity to call me names – and when you wanted to ride out, you’ve always prepared Falada yourself. Cloudia – I am worried, and I am sure the others are worried too.”

Cloudia dug her fingers into his hand and ripped it off hers. “You are only a servant, Thomas. Don’t dare to touch me again with your filthy fingers. Don’t dare to decide what I can do and what I can’t. You don’t have the right to do anything like that,” she snarled, mounting Falada and riding into the woods.

***

Before I got Falada, I ran a lot. I remembered the day after the decoration when I woke up to the first sunlight of the day, got dressed in silence – and just run through London not knowing where my feet carried me.

I remembered the refreshing feeling running had brought to me, remembered how I had smiled and how alive I had felt when I had eventually returned to the townhouse.

From that day on, I had gone out for a jog every time after waking up if my schedule allowed it. I had never liked bicycles or driving in a carriage for too long, had always preferred to walk and run. But then, someone gifted me Falada, and I started to ride – and to my surprise, I loved it. I didn’t know why but I loved riding the instance I had first sat on top of my dear horse.

Lately, however, I found less and less time for it.

Sometimes, she let Falada gallop through the forest, making the colours around her blend into one another, making it seem as if there were only she and her horse in the world; sometimes, Falada just trotted through the woods, and Cloudia took herself the time to marvel at nature’s beauty.

She had no idea how much time had passed – Cloudia knew that she should head back soon as she still had a lot of work to do, but, right now, she only wanted to be here and nowhere else.

Cloudia made Falada stop at a meadow of flowers, dismounted, and let herself fall into the flowers.

“Let us pause for a while, old friend,” she said to her horse, reached into her pocket and got out a few carrots which she tossed in front of him. Falada eagerly started to pick them up and eat them.

Cloudia’s body was sore from riding, but she didn’t mind the pain, in fact, she appreciated it. It reminded her that she was still alive.

She ripped out a flower and held it up. “An Evening primrose,” Cloudia said aloud and closed her eyes, pressing the flower against her chest.

I had to apologise to Thomas. I would apologise to him right after returning to the manor.

With difficulty, Cloudia sat herself up when a sudden thought overwhelmed her.

“Falada,” she said, still pressing the flower against her chest. “Falada, I murdered a flower. I…” Tears gathered in her eyes, and she blinked them away. “I… I just ripped it out without thinking. It can’t bloom today because of me… I…” Cloudia whipped away her tears, breathed in and out, and threw away the primrose. “I am going crazy, Falada. I am crying over a damn flower. There are flowers in nearly every room of the manor. They were all ripped out; they had all been stolen of a huge part of their lifespan. Why did I never cry over them? Shouldn’t I cry over every flower which died because of me? But, for some reason, I was never upset because of them. But now… now, I…” She ran a hand over her face. “I threw the flower away, Falada. I threw the goddamn flower away. I killed it and threw it away without thinking twice. What is wrong with me? I took away a life and threw a corpse in-between his living flower friends. I…”

Cloudia stood up and nearly tumbled to the left, but Falada walked towards her so that she fell against him. She cried against his soft fur, and he buried his nose in her hair and chewed a bit on it.

“There are periods of time in which I am feeling fine, and there are others in which I feel like I will never get up again,” Cloudia struggled to say, tears running over her face. “And my head… inside my head, my thoughts are spinning. And it hurts. My head and my body, they hurt. All of me hurts and feels numb at the same time. I don’t know.

“And I can’t even drink a cup of hot milk with honey. I can’t even look at it. It always helped – but I know… I know that it won’t help this time; I don’t know if it will ever help again. I don’t know if I will ever be fine again.” She took a deep breath.

“My mind is a mess – I am a mess. I could not bake Kamden a cake this year. I tried, but I always started crying when I began. I couldn’t even do my Watchdog work properly – that’s why Oscar, Cecelia, Undertaker, and Barrington are here. Because I need help to compensate my mistake. Perhaps, the Royal advisers had been right all along. Perhaps, I am really not suited to be the Watchdog. Perhaps, he was wrong all along…”

Cloudia stepped away and stroked over Falada’s nasal bridge. “I am a liar, Falada. I am a coward and a liar. I keep telling everyone that I am fine; I keep telling myself that I am fine. I wanted to tell Undertaker what is going on but I can’t. I simply can’t do it. Everyone else knows because everyone else knew him, and I know that I should tell Undertaker what’s wrong, that he deserves to know what is going on, but I am not brave enough to do it. Because I know that when I speak about it, I will start to cry and I don’t want him to see me cry. He should never see me cry. Not like that. Never like that.”

She took a deep breath. “Let us go back now, my dear friend. And I am sorry that I burst out like that.”

Cloudia whipped away her tears and before she could do anything else, two hands wrapped around her throat – and her vision turned black.

***

~Cedric~

Cedric turned around and looked right into Barrington’s eyes. Before Cloudia had left, he had joked but, now when Cedric saw him, the memory of him joking seemed like a distant dream.

“Who died?” Cedric wanted to know, coldness running over his spine.

I hadn’t found the name of a person close to Cloudia in my Death Book. Perhaps, I had overlooked it. Perhaps, this person had died someone else and not in the area of London.

Perhaps, I didn’t know the name of who had died.

“Someone important to her,” Barrington said in a low voice. It surprised him that Cecelia didn’t cut him off. Usually, she would have done that, but now, she and Oscar were just silent. “Someone very close to her died a week before her birthday. Dia is always not feeling very well on her birthday, and this sudden death made it even worse. She couldn’t think straight, she still cannot, and this caused her to make a mistake – and this mistake made her gather us all today. Today of all goddamn days. Dia shouldn’t have done this, but she feels guilty for having made this mistake and wanted to compensate it as soon as possible – no matter what date today is.”

Cedric swallowed, the coldness having fully embraced his body.

I didn’t want to ask this question because, deep inside, I knew the answer – and I dreaded it. But I knew that I had to. And I hated it.

“What… what happened on April 10?”

Barrington cradled his head in his hands for a while, facing down and closing his eyes, before looking up again and clutching his hands together.

“Today is the anniversary of a case Scotland Yard had never been able to solve. A case which is haunting Dia for fourteen years now. A case to which she is the sole witness.”

Barrington looked at Cedric – and Cedric couldn’t remember if he had ever seen such a hurt, such a sad and lost expression like the one Barrington was wearing in his eyes before.

Now, I knew why he joked so much.

When Barrington spoke, his voice cracked.

“Simon Phantomhive died on April 10.”

***

~Cloudia~

Everything was blurry.

I couldn’t make out my surroundings. I couldn’t make out from where the voice came which was speaking to me. I could barely hear what the voice was saying to me.

“I… I am not here to hurt you…”

***

“Is she alive?”

“Think, Ainslie! Why should they have brought in a corpse?”

“Perhaps, they want to scare us?”

“Ainslie has a point, Prunella.”

“Be quiet, Adair.”

“I am not going to be quiet – we are in a far too small dungeon, and we are far too many people. If they don’t kill us, claustrophobia will hit me, and I will commit suicide with Robena’s ridiculously long fingernails.”

“I heard that, Adair.”

“I will not stay quiet like Julius and rock back and forth in a corner. I will speak until I take the last of my breaths!”

“I will end your life right here, right now if you don’t stop talking, Adair.”

“I will fully support you, Prunella.”

“Thanks. That means a lot to me, Kelia.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Do you think we can eat her?”

“That’s gross, Jessalyn.”

“But we didn’t get anything to eat for so long now, Prunella! If the new girl is dead, we should eat her. Levi already ate Ernest, Claude, and Vanessa. Why can’t we eat the new one?”

“There is no proof that Levi ate them.”

“Elliot saw it – and he is still traumatised. He hasn’t spoken a word since it happened.”

“Very well. Levi did eat Claude, Vanessa, and Ernest, but…”

“Can we eat the new girl then?”

“… we won’t eat the new girl.”

“Dammit, Prunella.”

“Prunella?”

“What do you want Ainslie?”

“Do dead people move?”

“Usually, not. Why do you ask?”

“Dammit, Prunella, the new girl moved.”

“Oh, be a smart-ass somewhere else, Adair.”

Cloudia woke up with a terrible headache and in-between a crowd of people and noise. Slowly, her vision cleared and she saw right into the wide blue eyes of a girl with messy brown hair.

Where was I? Where was Falada? What had happened?

“Are you dead?” the girl asked, puzzling Cloudia. “Prunella said that the dead don’t move, but now, she’s arguing with Adair, so I can’t ask her if the dead don’t open their eyes too or not.”

Cloudia struggled to sit up and leaned against a cold wall. She had been dreaming, but she couldn’t remember what her dream had been about – the voices around her had slowly woken her up and cut her off from her dream.

“My head hurts,” Cloudia said with a voice too rough and thin to be hers. “Can you repeat that please?”

The girl’s eyes widened. “I don’t know if dead people can open their eyes or not, but I am sure that they don’t speak!” A huge smile appeared on her face. “You are alive! You are alive! We already started to debate whether or not to eat you if you weren’t!”

“What?”

“Don’t worry – we decided not to eat you even if you hadn’t woken up! Prunella, Adair!”

A man with dirty blond and a woman with auburn hair turned around to the girl. “What do you want, Ainslie?” they said synchronically.

“The new girl is awake!” the girl, Ainslie, replied joyfully, and the man and the woman – Prunella and Adair – laid their eyes on Cloudia for the first time – and stared.

“It’s not polite to stare,” she said, massaging her temples.

“What is your name?” a woman with short black hair asked, and Cloudia skimmed over the crowd in front of her. There were around as many boys as girls present. Most were around Cloudia’s age, but some like Ainslie looked a lot younger. There seemed to be nobody over twenty-five.

“I am Robena,” the woman said. She was slightly older than Prunella and had significantly longer fingernails. “What is your name?”

“I am Cloudia,” she answered. “Where am I? Where are we?”

“We are in the Witch’s Castle,” Prunella told her.

“To be exact – we are in the far too small dungeon of the Witch’s Castle,” Adair added, and Prunella rolled her eyes.

Cloudia looked around the dungeon – this time, she didn’t look at the people surrounding her but at the dungeon’s structure and saw that… the door to it was wide open.

That was more than strange.

“Are we prisoners? Because if we are… why is the door open?”

A man in the back laughed. He had dark brown hair and bloodlined grey eyes. “Name’s Evander,

and I tell you, girl, what da Witch isn’t stupid. The door isn’t closed because i’ doesn’t ’ave to. Because da corridor behind i’ leads ter a labyrinf – an’ just like Levi’s a cannibal, da labyrinf is a place ov no escape.

“Sorry, new girl, but we are all stuck ’ere.”

#Watchdog of the Queen #main chapters #cloudia phantomhive #kuroshitsuji #black butler #undertaker #fanfiction #ff #cloudia phantomhivexundertaker #UndertakerxClaudia #claudia phantomhive #original characters

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