Rebuilding Azarath
Raven visits azarath sometimes, to wander in between the wreckage of what used to be buildings, for a reason she doesnt know. Nostalgia? Punishment, and reminder both? Either way, she is obedient to her duties on earth and always precise in her timing, telling starfire how long she will stay beforehand and returning when she says she will, so starfire permits it with a worried frown that eases whenever robin asks to join her. Raven would accept his company for that alone, even if she didn't find his silent presence at her side grounding. He made time for her without complaint, even when she only gave him a few rushed minutes notice, until one day she knocked on his door and he opened it to reveal a packed bag on his bed.
Raven's stomach dropped, and Damian read her expression and frowned, stepping aside to let her in. "It's a mission in Gotham," he explained. He packed the last of his clothes and turns back to her. "I won't be gone for long." His eyes betrayed his concern, and raven straightened to reassure him. "I'll be fine. I'm just going to walk around for a bit, then I'll teleport back."
She repeats it to herself firmly as her feet touch azarathian soil, but it's so much lonelier without Robin. She hadn't noticed how much easier it was to breathe, and take up space and make noise with him beside her. Slipping through the broken streets, raven felt as though she were choking on the silence. Her footsteps ring out unbearably loud in contrast to the silence, yet the noise didn't help her at all. It feels as if she is being rude by disturbing the silence, as if Azarath itself disdained her presence here.
She frowns at the thought, before seeing if flying silently would help her feel a fraction of the serenity she felt with Damian's strength to lean against.
It doesn't.
She's wasting his time.
Raven hovered outside Damian's door, willing herself to knock.
Why would he come with her, if he has anything else he could be doing? When before she hadn't even given him an hour's notice, certain she wouldn't mind if he joined her or not?
She shuffled in place, before deciding, miserably, to leave. As she turned, his door opened, catching her off guard. Damian, looking unsurprised to see her, raised an eyebrow at her and she flushed, realising he had been waiting for her to knock.
"You must have something to say, after waiting so long at my door." Damian said dryly. Raven flushed deeper, and he leaned against the door, studying her expression as though he wanted to memorise it. His inspection made it harder for her blush to recede and she fumbled for an answer, before clearing her throat to compose herself.
"Would you mind visiting Azarath with me?" It came out meeker than she intended, and she cleared her throat again in embarressment. There were so many explainations on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't want to pressure him into agreeing by telling him how much safer she felt when he was with her. Caught between the urge to defend her unexplainable need to visit azarath and the desire to tell him why she wanted his company, she wrested with her tongue and stared at the floor between them, too many thoughts in her head to say something coherant.
"Of course I wouldn't mind." Raven peeked at his face and found his eyes softened and gentle. "If you give me enough warning, I'll try to rearrange my duties to go with you."
Raven felt warm. "Why did you come with me every time, even when I didn't give you warning?" She murmured. Although they were alone in the corridor, this moment felt intensely private and she leaned closer to him without thinking.
"You needed me." He said simply. "I won't let you down when you need me." Damian reached around her waist and gave her a quick hug that she leaned into.
Though it takes courage, it becomes easier to ask for his company after that. He makes it so obvious that she's a priority. Damian is far too stubborn and perceptive to let her slip away. Raven loves him so much.
Raven waited patiently for damian to stand after he kneeled to check something in the dirt. It was commonplace, as her wanderings grew more like wanderings and less like feverish hauntings, for him to stop and inspect something he saw; a piece of rubble, a ruined sign in the dirt.
"Raven. Your father…" Damian hesitated before continuing, his voice toneless in a way that told her he was hiding nervousness, and she turned, alert and wary. He was still inspecting, or pretending to inspect the soil, and with his back turned to her she couldn't see his expression. "The soil may be useable a few centimeters below the surface. I believe the years have been enough time for it to recover, only the seeds were all destroyed. We could replace them, if you like." Raven froze, shocked. Azarath, blooming with life, again? After what she did to it? Could it recover - No. Nothing could ever make the ruins clean again. Would the monks have thought she was trying to absolve her guilt by growing a garden on their graves? Cowardice. She seethed with self loathing. "Raven. Breathe." Raven became aware of Damian's, warm, calloused hands cupping her face and her own panicked breathing. Tears pricked at her eyes and despite her best efforts, a few rolled down her cheeks. Damian's eyes stayed fixed to hers and in a bid to calm herself, she slowly leaned towards him until their foreheads were pressed together. Damian didn't move, though his eyes showed uncertainty, and after a few tear soaked minutes she took a deep, heaving breath and stepped away, honoured by his trust in her and embarressed that she broke down in front of him.
"Let me think about it." Raven croaked. Damian waited patiently as she tried to order her thoughts. She didn't know what the monks would have wanted. Years of guilt and avoiding thinking about them had made their memories so blurry she could barely remember their faces, and only the repeated lectures their stern voices drilled into her. Their lessons hadn't been enough to halt youthful foolishness, though they had tried their best to ensure she understood the inherent value found in living things. "A garden. I think they would have liked that." She rasped, finally. Damian didn't pry about who she was talking about, and stayed with her silently, sensing she needed a minute. A garden for them. They would want to be in a garden. It won't be for me, and I won't forget what i did. If you can hear me, she prayed, thank you, and I'm sorry.
The rows of potato plants looks strange against a backdrop of collapsed columns and crumbling stone stairs, but after so long with nothing but the ruin left in trigon's wake, raven is glad to see any life growing on azarath. It's a far sight from the elegantly draped flora that used to grace Azarath, but she was too young to remember the names of any plants before they were incinerated to look for them on earth and after, all that remained of them was ash. The thought of making the hollow corpse of Azarath into a copy of what it used to be makes raven shiver, anyway, and she hasn't figured out how to remember the old azarath without seeing her mother dying. Restoring azarath to what it was exactly would not help her; she already suffers through visions of the past superpositioned onto the present - where this monk died, and or that monk was cut down as he ran - where buildings survived enough to facismile an appearance of before and during. Damian's offer to ask swamp thing for any plants that might have been on Azarath was sweet, though, and Raven takes it as the offer of support it is, and breathes through the guilt he didn't mean to elict.
Instead, a sprawling, tangled web of pumpkin vines that neither of them remember buying shove their neighbors to make themselves comfortable in a large corner of the messy plot she and Damian had cleared of rubble to prepare for a small garden. They had tilled the soil, damian easily working through his half while she panted through hers. Her patch of ragged, overturned soil and untouched earth looks both freshly overturned and strangely methodical and uniform when she comes back from her break, and she shoots Damian a wry look that he pretends not to notice. She supposes she won't turn down his help on her side, though it hurts her pride, since her shoulders ache worse.
She silently planted Purple hyacinth for regret, and a few days after find blooming zinnias (remembrance, goodness, friendship) amongst her flowers. They bring a smile to her face, although she privately thinks damian esteems her too highly (he thinks the same of her).
She considers planting asphodel (my regrets follow you into the grave) but Damian has been determinedly trying to persuade her to grow spices for cooking with a ferocity that Raven privately finds adorable, and she aquieses in anticipation of the food he will feed her. She hopes the departed monks won't notice the difference between the plants.
Damian has been bringing Daylillies to fringe the edges. Raven admires the way the golden petals look in the sunlight, and adds her own seeds and saplings, until the garden has been expanded twice and the vegetables make regular additions to the titans fridge. The garden looks overgrown, huge and healthy but riotous, individual plants boundaries' ill defined and sloppy from where the plants had grown beyond their boundaries and she hadn't had the heart to clip them. It was a wonder they were growing at all - how are plants supposed to flourish in half melted, seared soil? Whatever mixture Damian has been pouring into the soil (It might be magic), Raven is grateful, knowing he does it for her sake. She doesn't think she could bear it if her garden died now. She wouldn't try to grow anything here ever again.
Ravens aware it's irrational, but she'd been secretly convinced in a guilty, superstitious way, that nothing except her and her father would be able to breathe the air without slowly dying. Raven never tells anyone her fears, even though she suspects Damian already knows. The first time Damian asked to plant something there, she froze, after all. When she realised they had been on azarath for hours every weekend, she trembled, and fiercely hoped that damian would remain as strong and lively as ever. Raven would do anything, anything at all, to make sure what happened on Azarath wouldn't happen again (especially not to Damian). Damian didn't remark on the days when she doesn't leave his side, giving her tasks to do and things to hold when he kneels to inspect the soil. Although it doesn't - shouldn't change anything, the grief and fear in her eases when she sees the garden, and even the guilt is sometimes replaced by a contented peace. She wishes that serenity would be less rare; she knows enough psychology to know her self flagellation hadn't helped anybody, but she doesn't know how to stop loathing herself even as she tried not to nurture these feelings. She wants to stop feeling awful about herself. "Thank you. For - everything." He stands to face her, and Raven bit her lip, wondering if she should leave it at that, but he's done so much for her. "For being so patient. And keeping me from drowning here. And the plants and the food and -" The words flood out until she runs out of air, and sucks more in noisily, cringing in embarressment, but he's been looking at her with a gentle, tender look in his eyes since she started talking, so she continues. "You're a good - great friend. I'm so glad to have you in my life." And if she's been silently admiring the way his hair looks in the sunlight more than paying attention to the plants when he's not looking at her, he'll never know. Damian blushes uncharacteristically and looks away. "I'm glad you're in my life, too, Rae." He mutters, clearing his throat. He looks like he wants to say something more, but looks away again, pretending to look over their garden. An unfamiliar tension coils between them, and she stares at him trying to make sense of it until his ears burn red. Feeling pleased at his blush, and embarressed that she was pleased, raven broke the tension by turning away to put away her tools for the night so they could leave.
The air seems fresher then before, the land less imposing (haunted) with a garden, so when Damian suggests bringing Titus to Azarath, she agrees, thinking of dog produced fertiliser and bringing his water bowl.
Titus gambols around, flattening springy stalks. "Titus. Heel." Damian commands. Titus, aware that his master can be charmed into forgiveness with the application of puppy eyes, huffs playfully and races off to chase a dragonfly. Damian grumbles in exasperation, waiting for his dog to return as he always does, which makes raven smile, charmed.
Raven takes her rambling garden all in and hopes the plants won't die. Although she is a poor gardener (not for lack of effort, but skill and experience), she trusts Damian to step in where her attempts aren't enough. There are times where she retreats into herself and does nothing more than hauling bags of fertiliser around for fear that the plants will somehow sense her relation to the demon that scoured all life from this planet, as if they will wilt the moment she touches them. One day, Raven sees a plant drooping and drops whatever she was holding (she cannot remember what it is and does not register if it breaks), gripped by the a wild panic that she is killing this planet again - but no. It is a plant, it does not care of her heritage, and simply needs more water. Damian presses a watering can into her nerveless fingers with a knowing, gentle look and goes to pick up what she had dropped before she can protest and persuade him to tend to it. Days later, it is as green as it's neighbors and Raven decides that it is her favourite plant. She pats it's broad leaves every time before she leaves sheepishly, aware of Damian's amused eyes on her. They had been more amused when she'd dropped a kiss on the leaves before knowing it was covered in spines.
She doesn't bother to define what kind of love she feels for Damian, and she won't until they're ready. She does love him; she can't deny that. All that matters is he is the most important person in the world to her and by the look in his eyes and the shy smile and the unfailing loyalty and support he gives her when he stays with her instead of patrolling, she can tell he feels the same way.
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*returns holding a notebook labelled "Tears of the Kingdom fixit fic notes"*
*leans uncomfortably close to the camera*
Say. Say, what if. What if, during Breath of the Wild, there were two Ganondorfs in play?
One, we'll call him Ocarina Ganondorf for distinction, is the one whose origin story was detailed in Ocarina of Time: A king of the Gerudo who backstabbed the King of Hyrule to obtain the Triforce. This is the same individual we would later/previously meet in most of the rest of the series.
The other, we'll call him Zonai Ganondorf, is the one we meet in Tears of the Kingdom: A king of the Gerudo who back... stabs? Punches? Murders the Queen of Hyrule for her Secret Stone. Zonai Ganondorf was not in Breath of the Wild. Tears is the first time we are meeting him.
Zonai Ganondorf was sealed physically under Hyrule Castle by Rauru's magic. His "dark world," the Depths, is just the ancient Zonai mine complexes infected by his Gloom. It's a physical place anyone can go to, without the use of magic. Now, getting back out or surviving... and even then, rig up a balloon or a long enough rope and the equivalent of magical radiation shielding, and it's still possible.
Calamity Ganon, the embodiment of hatred of Hyrule, was in fact Ocarina of Time Ganondorf, years after losing his mind to the ravages of his wishes on the Triforce to become more powerful. You can only get to and from his prison, the Dark World, via magic, because it's a pocket universe attached to Hyrule's via the place the Golden Goddesses left after creating the world. Malice is indeed slightly different from Gloom, because slightly different people created them.
Ocarina Ganondorf's seal weakened enough to cause the original Great Calamity that the Divine Beasts were built to counter. And Ocarina Ganondorf was who Wild-Zelda held at bay for a hundred years, who tried to cobble together a Gerudo body and failed.
This, this was the entity Zelda sealed at the end of Breath. Zonai Ganondorf turned into a dragon and got vapourized. Ocarina Ganondorf?
Still there.
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In which Cameron and Donna celebrate the season
[CN: food/eating/breakfast mention]
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On a Sunday late in March, Donna woke up to the familiar sound of birdsong and Cameron moving about the trailer’s kitchen. She sat up in the Airstream’s narrow little bed, which she had somehow come to love, stretched her arms out in front of her, and then got up, pulled on her silk robe, and went to join Cameron. She kissed Cameron’s shoulder, asked if she could help, and then when Cameron refused, took a seat at the kitchen table, which had just been cleared of all of Cameron’s notebooks and legal pads and books and tech journals and cleaned with a lemon-y disinfectant.
“How’s your morning?” Donna asked.
Cameron, who was somehow transformed into a morning person in rural locations, and who had been up for hours, smiled, “It’s been great.” She arranged her three pans on the stove, and said, “My gardening chores are done, my progress is journaled, my laundry is folded and put away, and my desk looks like it belongs to a calm and emotionally healthy individual.”
Fifteen minutes later, Cameron came to the table with a large tray laden with plates, and set it down shakily, but with no incident.
“This looks amazing,” Donna beamed, as she helped Cameron unload the tray. The took silverware, their plates of eggs, home fries, and vegetarian bacon, and glasses of water and set them on the table. And then, before she sat down, Cameron grabbed the last thing on the tray, an old, repurposed pickle jar. There was a hunk of soil in it, that had a small purple crocus growing out of it. Cameron put crocus in the center of the table.
Donna started to dig into her food, and then asked, “Is that…?”
“The first one of the year!” Cameron said, excitedly. “I found it near my garden patch!” Then, she picked up her glass, held it up, and said, “Happy spring, Boss.”
Donna did the same with her glass and clinked it against Cameron’s. Warmly, she said, “Yes, it is a very happy spring.”
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