#hate my wack ass dreams

[the-grimm-writer]

Had a dream where this guy kidnapped me not in a yandere kinda way but forced me to work at this place I used to volunteer at (I quit cause the people there suck) and dragged me back everytime I tried to runaway and I'm still shocked about it

[tgcg]

candid detail. my biggest project so far

hey happy new year

CG: DAVE?

TG: yeah?

CG: SOMETHING’S KIND OF FUCKING ME UP RIGHT NOW AND I NEED TO TELL YOU SPECIFICALLY ABOUT IT IN CANDID DETAIL.

TG: oh shit

===

TG: yeah whats up

TG: not too often i get to be the sole audience to karkats grievances

CG: PFF, BULLSHIT. YOU'RE PRIVY TO WAY MORE ABOUT MY GRIEVANCES THAN BASICALLY ANY OF MY SURVIVING AND PRESENT FRIENDS, BY A SIGNIFICANT MARGIN, AND YOU KNOW IT.

TG: yeah and im boutta add another im like broses up on that hill bundled up in a long ass list of things that make the homies upset

TG: lay it on me

===

CG: OKAY. SO.

…

CG: I’M KIND OF THINKING ABOUT JUST. US AND OUR BRO-DOM.

===

TG: oh

CG: LET ME FINISH.

CG: ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN FUCKING FORCED TO SPEND IN THE DREAM BUBBLES MADE ME REALISE SOMETHING, AND THAT’S THAT…

===

CG: THIS IS KIND OF RARE, RIGHT?

TG: what

TG: us

CG: YEAH! LIKE… THERE’S SO MANY THANKFULLY DEAD KARKATS I’VE HAD THE INSURMOUNTABLE GODDAMN DISPLEASURE OF FAILING TO AVOID THAT DON’T LIKE YOU, BARELY MET YOU, OR EVEN JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU.

===

CG: IT’S THE RARE AMBIVALENCE THAT REALLY GETS TO ME. I ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND A TIMELINE’S KARKAT FIRMLY DECIDING THAT THEY HATE YOUR ASS. NON-ROMANTICALLY I MEAN. THAT HAS BEEN ME, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. BUT THERE WAS NEVER, EVER!!! A POINT WHERE I JUST FELT NOTHING ABOUT YOU AT ALL.

CG: EVEN WHEN I INITIALLY HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF SEEING YOUR DOUCHEBAG SPECTACLES YOU GOT FROM YOUR BRO ON THE SCREEN, I AT LEAST HAD A STARTER DISH OF SKEWERED CONTEMPT TO WHET MY APPETITE. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO IMAGINE NOT FEELING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER ABOUT YOU.

===

CG: ONE TIME I MENTIONED YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A THREE-WAY ARGUMENT AND ONE OF THE OTHER KARKATS SAID "WHO?"

CG: "WHO?"!!!!

TG: now thats fucked up

CG: IT IS! AND THAT'S WHAT MADE ME FIRST REALISE THAT NOT EVERY KARKAT IS GETTING TO HANG OUT WITH EVERY DAVE, AND VICE VERSA. AND THIS IS GOING TO SOUND LAME AS SHIT IN A WAY THAT I’LL NEVER EVER LIVE DOWN, BUT. I FEEL BAD FOR THEM ABOUT IT! YOU KNOW?

===

TG: well you always feel bad about around and towards other yous so thats

TG: wait

TG: is or is not the nature of this moment of self-pity fuelled by malice anger disgust or any similar terms slash phrases

CG: I MEAN, FOR ONCE? DON’T GET ME WRONG, THE MALICE ANGER DISGUST ET CETERA IS STILL THOROUGHLY PERMEATING THE WHOLE ORDEAL. THE DAY I LOSE CONTEMPT FOR MY ALTERNATE SELVES IS THE DAY I GET TAKEN OUT BACK AND PUT DOWN LIKE THE LAME HOOFBEAST I’VE ALWAYS DREAMT OF BEING. BUT…

CG: I ACTUALLY JUST FEEL SAD FOR THEM, STRAIGHT UP. INDEPENDENT FROM TERMS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED.

===

TG: damn

CG: AND THAT FEELS INCREDIBLY WEIRD TOO. I CAN’T EVEN ARGUE WITH THEM ABOUT IT, IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL THIS SHITTY, SHOCKINGLY QUIET… GRIEF? ALMOST? FOR THEM. GENERAL NON-TROLLIAN FEELINGS. AND EXCEPTIONALLY NON-STANDARD IN A KARKAT-TO-KARKAT CONVERSATION, AS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED.

CG: BUT I KNOW IF I TOLD ANY OTHER EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED REFLECTION OF MY OWN FECULENT INNER FILTH TO TALK TO YOU, OR EVEN JUST LOOK AT YOU ONE TIME, THEY’D ONLY SEE IT AS ANOTHER PERSONAL AFFRONT. LIKE I JUST TOLD THEM "HEY, SHIT ALL OVER YOUR FROND AND SNIFF IT, IT’LL BE AMAZING JUST TRUST ME, ABSOLUTELY ZERO REASON NOT TO."

===

TG: you come up with the most potent mental images man youre the wordmeister of viscerally gross as hell vocab

CG: THANK YOU.

===

CG: AND LIKE… SHIT, I DEFINITELY WOULD’VE FELT THAT WAY BEFORE I GOT TO KNOW YOU! I UNDERSTAND THE INNER MACHINATIONS OF THOSE IMBECILIC NOOKSTAINS BETTER THAN ANYONE EVER COULD, DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS.

CG: KARKATS UNIVERSALLY DECIDING THAT THEY JUST CANNOT LIKE YOU ON PRINCIPLE IS A CRISIS OF SHIT HAPPENSTANCES. THE HAPPENINGS ARE ALL OUT OF WACK, COSMICALLY.

CG: LIKE EVERY ME WRITHED OUR WAY OUT OF THE BROODING CAVERNS AND THE FIRST CONSTELLATION WE SAW PEELING THROUGH THE EXOSPHERE, TWINKLING IN THE REFLECTION OF OUR HUGE RED GANDERBULBS, WAS A PAIR OF SHADES GETTING COVERED IN GASOLINE, FOLLOWED BY A CONSTELLATION OF A LIT MATCH.

CG: A SIMPLE EQUATION WITH A VERY SIMPLE SOLUTION.

CG: A SYSTEMIC EPIDEMIC, IF YOU’LL PARDON MY BULLSHIT.

===

TG: it is a goddamn catastrophe sweeping the karkat population

TG: presidents on the headlines trying to get karkats everywhere to stop quarantining their asses and have a real heart to heart among themselves about the issue but they keep isolating anyways

CG: I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL A PRESIDENT IS. YOU’VE FAILED TO DESCRIBE IT AS ANYTHING MORE THAN A POORLY-SELECTED "DUDE CONDESCE" WHO DOES NOTHING PRODUCTIVE AND THEN EITHER DIES OR RUINS EVERYTHING, OR SOME CHAOTIC COMBINATION OF THE TWO.

TG: well that is exactly what it is but wait good point

===

TG: tragedy strikes as the karkat population reveals it doesnt generally know what a president even is so it means jack shit to them that this dude is trying to get their attention

TG: and mr president he is getting voted the fuck out of office over this blunder just an embarrassing display

TG: the public trust has plummeted off the fucking chart and cratered the damn ground like a meteor

TG: or he could be the tenth to die in office yknow there was a pretty big stretch of no in-office deaths til 2009 so maybe some catchup would be good for everyone

CG: ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER PRESIDENT, AND THEN KILL HIM?

TG: not me personally i just wanna be there and see it also is that dream bubble fucking huge or what

TG: must be the size of

===

TG: jupiter

===

TG: look all im saying is the end of the world coincided pretty notably with a dry spell in the presidential kill:death ratio

TG: i was tragically too busy not dying to see obama die live on television when an errant meteor hit the white house that was my one chance

CG: PFFFT.

TG: i want to keep a comically aloof finger on the pulse of the shit but i do not want to be among the shit

TG: but anyways guess its my turn on the pedestal

CG: BE MY FUCKING GUEST.

===

TG: yknow uh im not gonna lie if present me went back to me age thirteen sippin my dubious aj in my pre-apocalyptic layer of hell that was texas and told me

TG: hey that gray text dude is probably gonna be your best friend if you give him a shot yall could be sweet bros in real life itll be awesome

TG: i mean disregarding the fact i already doomed that guy because i dont remember that happening to me

TG: id probably be casting some wicked aspersions on that shit

===

TG: our whole friendship feels like a plot twist to my damn life story

CG: I HEAR YOU.

TG: its like our narratives bumped into each other hard on the street and decided yknow what yeah this pavement is pretty cosy lets talk about your dad

TG: but

===

TG: dont get your think pans too wrapped up in that different timeline stuff

CG: IT’S THINK PAN. SINGULAR. NOBODY HAS MORE THAN ONE THINK PAN, EVER. IT IS A SINGULAR ORGAN. IF YOU WOULD LET ME READ A TROLL BIOLOGY BOOK TO YOU ONE TIME WE’D STOP BUMPING INTO THIS ISSUE.

TG: gotcha and no

CG: OBVIOUSLY.

TG: but anyways dude look

===

TG: i am literally a time dude and i can tell you right now with all the sage wisdome of my knightitudes

TG: not a good way of looking at it

TG: ive met daves that didnt like you either it doesnt affect jack or shit because those daves arent me

TG: like they are in a way but

TG: me and all those other guys spent the whole game honing down these doomed timelines to a fine point and that point has obviously involved a whole lot of hanging out with you

CG: …

===

TG: so

TG: maybe they just missed the point while you and me were on the breaking edge of that shit

TG: we got to the bottom line of it so it doesnt matter yknow

CG: HUH.

===

TG: and i mean plus

===

TG: ive seen a handful of alternate daves and karkats who get along uh great apparently so

TG: yknow

===

CG: WHAT?

TG: you know what i fucking mean im not saying it

CG: ROLLING YOUR SHOULDERS AND SAYING "yknow" GENERALLY DOESN’T CONVEY FUCKING ANYTHING MEANINGFUL IN A CONVERSATION, DAVE.

CG: I’M NOT A PSYCHIC. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN. IN CANDID DETAIL.

TG: its besides the point anyways

===

TG: the point is its you right here that matters overall and you right here is chilling with me so thats gotta mean at least one or two things

CG: OKAY, OKAY, YEAH… I GET WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. I REALLY DIDN’T THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.

CG: YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND BY NOW HOW IT’D BE REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT FOR ME TO WRAP MY THINK PAN AROUND THE CONCEPT OF ME BEING THE RIGHT VERSION OF ANYTHING.

CG: BUT I FEEL LIKE THE AMOUNT OF TIME WE'VE SPENT TOGETHER CUMULATIVELY IN THIS TIMELINE MAKES UP FOR THE AMOUNT OF DAVES AND KARKATS WHO NEVER SPENT ANY AT ALL, BY AT LEAST TENFOLD.

===

TG: heh yeah

HAHAH.

===

CG: GOD. WHO WOULD’VE GUESSED THAT KARKAT VANTAS WOULD GET TOO FAR INTO HIS OWN THINK PAN ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT, RIGHT?

TG: stop repeating the words think and pan i get it already

CG: ARE YOU SURE? TOTALLY SURE? ABSOLUTELY ASSFUCK CERTAIN OF YOURSELF?

TG: yes dude

CG: ALRIGHT. KEEP IN MIND THIS WILL BE ON THE TEST LATER.

TG: im acing that shit i swear to god youre gonna eat your damn foot

CG: STRUT POD

TG: when i pass that shit to oblivion

TG: youre gonna regret doubting me

CG: OKAY, DAVE. THEN EXPLAIN TO ME WITH ALL YOUR SAGE WISDOME: WHAT IS A "LUMPSQUIRT"? AND REALLY, TAKE YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS. GOD KNOWS WE'VE GOT MOMENTS A-FUCKING-PLENTY TO SPARE.

TG: as the literal god of time in your local area i sure as hell do

CG: GO ON THEN.

===

TG: …

TG: pass

CG: EXACTLY.

CG: ANYWAYS, I’M STILL GOING TO GO AROUND FEELING ANOTHER LAYER OF PITY FOR THOSE GRAY BULGEMUNCHERS THAT DON’T GET TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. NOT THAT ANYTHING ANY KARKAT COULD FUCKING DO WOULD EVER MAKE THEM DESERVING OF IT, BUT THAT’S ANOTHER CAN OF DIRT NOODLES ENTIRELY.

TG: yeah i feel bad for anyone who isnt buddy-buddy with the david stri too

CG: OF COURSE YOU DO. I’M GLAD WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE HERE.

===

TG: but also

TG: any dave who missed out on a slice of the realest homes in paradox space is a tragedy in my eyes

CG: Y--

TG: let me finish

TG: i just dont let it get to me so much cus… first of all ive been having to not let time shit get to me this whole damn game but also

TG: i know i have you here and thats whats important

TG: ok not "have" just

TG: how the fuck do i phrase that

TG: i know whatever is happening with other "us"es whatever shits goin down

TG: i can wake up and watch movies with you or hell i can even hang with you in there if i bump into you and thats what matters to me in this bro-dom thats what i wanna do

TG: and thats some real shit i just said feel free to co-sign it

CG: …

===

TG: karkat i meant it

CG: … THANKS.

TG: no problem

[boookfreeak]

A couple of years ago, I had a crazy fever dream about a book. It was about this big city girl moving to a small town and then having romantic relationships with two brothers.

But it wasn't just your everyday incesty love triangle, oh no. It was much more complicated. Because the reason she moved from NYC to that small-ass town, called Mystic Falls 2.0, was that her entire family died in a car crash and she had to move in with her dead mom's best friend. Who happened to be the mom/guardian of 12 boys (technically 11 and one girl named Parker but I didn't even realize Parker was a girl for solid half the book). And two of those brothers happened to be the brothers.

Yeah so she hooked up with two boys. Who lived together. With whom she lived with too.

And tbh, that book was kinda shit. The romance was weird, the writing a bit wack and she sort of forgot all the time about her whole family dying in favor of obsessing about one brother and then the other?

The one thing I really, really enjoyed about the book was the sibling dynamic. Not necessarily between the two main brothers who hated each other the whole time, but the rest. And also the way she bonded with almost all of them and none of the siblings were ever really left behind in the story.

Idk, it might be a bit wrong as it's definitely been a few years since I read it, and I was also in my tween years at the time. But I really liked that side of the book.

WELL. Anyway. Now, years later, I open netflix one random day and see a trailer to the book I believed to have been a wild fever dream of mine. And now I'm sitting here, on the release day of Netflix's own 'My Life With the Walter Boys', and I'm already 7 episodes in. And I'm kind of enjoying it. Don't get me wrong, the editing is kinda horrible and everything is way to dramatic but they added a whole lot more lore to it (the brothers get more background stories, more friend drama and she actually talks a fine amount about her grief) and I'm kind of enjoying the actors, so it's actually fine.

It's a funny throwback for me, to say the least.

I'm definitely re-reading that book tonight, aren't I.

[animatedrapture]

🦈: violet tumblr hates me bc i cant send u this link.... but trust me i need u to look up "suna touch the dream sniper" nd look at the images..... im frothing at the mouth i need sniper suna so much its insane i need u to see it and experience the wack ass emotions im feeling everytime i look at it. ( they did omi too but his outfit does not work for him like sunas does oh my god)

im back on da mafia / hitmen / yandere grind its not even funny i need suna to fuck me pointing the sniper rifle at my face or to stalk me nd get ready to kill any many i talk to.... is that so much to ask for?

sniper suna... save me... save me sniper suna...

(ALSO GOJO FIC ND NEW SUNA FIC WE WON U GOT ME FEELING LIKE A KID WAITING FOR THEIR PRESENTS ON CHRISTMAS YIPPEEEEEE i need to reread as friends to keep up w da updates rn but desr hod it put me in so much oain last time. will i survive...)

it's fine HSKSHJS i actually saw it on twitter when it came out and i have never felt more blessed that day LMFAOOOO they were like. ask suna girlies if theyre ok ......... twt keeps me updated on sunarin stuff tbh but also like.... there's this post timeskip suna i only recently found and ive been dying wondering where it came from and how long has it existed cause he looks so good im actually crying a river like..........

it reminds me of bet on stones!suna cause of the short hair and how it actually despicably looks so good on him.

ive been DYING for mafia!suna since 2021 im telling u i just want him with knives and guns and going on life threatening missions. i want his life on the line !!!! i want him to skillfully just... imagine his partners just give him coordinates and he just points and shoots. no emotion whatsoever. just him on the job. OHHHH can you imagine him scoped in the target, finding you talking to them. but after he shoots, he keeps watching through the scope, the way you process what just happened, splatters of blood against your dress before you're running out and suddenly out of his vision. AHHHHH sniper suna !!! and the possibility of him hunting you down to satisfy his sick curiosity :)

[forabeatofadrum]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @wellbelesbian for the tag! Here goes:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

... 162. what the FUCK.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,323,028. WHAT THE FUCK

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well, almost half of those 162 fics are Glee fics. My other two bigger fandoms are Check, Please! and the Simon Snow Series.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Everything will be alright, the only Brooklyn Nine-Nine fic I have ever written.

All shall know the wonder, probably my favourite Check, Please! fic that I've written, so hooray!

The last to know, which was a reaction fic for the end of year 3 of Check, Please!

How lucky we are to be alive right now, which is my first ever Carry On fic and I don't even like it that much anymore, but I guess it's the origin story yada, yada.

The 2020 Young America New Year’s Eve Gala, my sole Red, White & Royal Blue fic. I wrote it in 2020, but thanks to the movie, it got a lot more views and kudos.

I am actually surprised (but also not, I think I have seen this before) that there is no Glee fic in this list. My Glee/Klaine fic with most kudos is the 15th on the list!!! (It's Myosotis sylvatica, by the way.) (My goddamn Love, Victor fic is higher on the list WACK!!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No. I do read all of them, but I always feel super awkward responding. Idk. It's a me problem, I guess. So I only respond when I have something specific to say or if a comment totally blows me away and I want to at least acknowledge that. Although... I am behind on that as well.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. Does Your heart is in your chest again, not hanging from your sleeve count? It's a Next to Normal AU Klaine story, and if you know the musical, you know.

There's also My rose-coloured boy, a pre-Wayward Son Snowbaz fic that shows that Simon is not dealing with shit and it has an unhappy ending, I suppose, but it also fits in canon so does it count, because in canon, the entire Snowbaz story does have a happy end.

OH WAIT A HOT MINUTE THERE IS ALSO MY WIP Dalton 8 Days of Wrath. That fic is supposed to be Sad Shit Only!!!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love writing happy endings, so I am not sure which one is the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, luckily.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. I uhhhh have a whole ass essay on why I don't.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, I am one of those "how can I Klaine-ify" bitches. The craziest is probably my Glee/Animal Crossing fic Wandering. I don't like it THAT much, but it was fun. I also had a very extensive, not-published Glee/Barbie Mariposa and the Fairy Princess crossover (yeah) once.

And I've been talking for ages about how I will one day write a Glee/Winx Club crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I unfortunately assume that it's happened, since ya know, AO3 scrapers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I know someone wanted to translate Charms & Pearls into Italian, but I don't know it's happened. @klaineship2 also translated one of my Hearing verse fics into German: Musik nur, wenn sie laut ist. I once read this translation out loud and sent it to my German friend @vreniii and I may have hurt her ears.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Call Me Maybe, my aroace Agatha fic with @captain-aralias and Stage Fright, a Halloween Klaine fic with @spookyklaine, @esperantoauthor, @justgleekout, @snarkyhag, sopheadraws, MissFlurry and keyiqiang.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

(Yes, Alex, I still say OTP.)

Klaine. Look, I will be a Klainer 12 till the day I die. You will catch me crying over Teenage Dream (gcv) at the nursing home.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have... so many WIPs. So. Many. WIPs. I don't want to give up on them yet.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I can write dialogue and that I can be pretty funny.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Alex, I so feel you on the second hand embarrasment thing with sappy stuff. I also bitch a lot about not being able to write romantic endings. I also have struggles with describing movement.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean. I have done it before, most noteably Paradiso, aap noot mies and Ik was meteen ondersteboven., so I am down for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published? Glee.

When I was a wee child writing stories about other media, Winx Club and Harry Potter, although I never published those.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

OH. Oof. In no order, split by my 3 main fandoms (because I cannot narrow it down!):

For Klaine: Myosotis series (especially part 1 and 5), Mendacious, I’d cry a river just for you, All the pretty things that we could be and Ljubim te.

For Snowbaz: Paradiso series (especially part 1 and 3, rip part 2), Time After Time and make a fire out of this flame.

For Zimbits: All shall know the wonder and Center Ice.

Forgive me for not tagging anyone. I am taking the lazy "everyone is free to do it!" approach because I am tired!!!

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

[a medium sized package arrives, completely covered in duct tape. In addition, there is a large Koffing-sticker stuck to it.

inside is a box with a bakers dozen muffins, all in different wrappers with poison typed pokemon designs. They are also a different kind of muffin each.

There is also a letter. it reads: "Hiya Brandy! I don't have the best connections to hitmen on the dark web, but i still can bake! I hope you enjoy these muffins and it makes you forget a bit about your EMBARRASSING encounter with the MOST IMPORTANT person in the WHOLE REGION. - Tix (@koffing-time) PS: I gotta warn you, maybe i let one of my Pokémon follow your request.

Wait there's more! There is also a sticker sheet with a large pine-tree on it and multiple tree-dwelling Pokémon organized so it looks like they are hanging from the tree.]

So. I just ate a bunch of these. And they are delicious, but also when I got halfway through one of the trubbish ones I COMPLETELY passed out. Like, not just got super tired and dozed off, but collapsed onto the floor.

And I don't usually dream, but I did this time. Saw this really wack looking klawf. Like it was definitely a klawf, but it had eyes like a beldum and a weird colour body and it seemed to shift sizes depending on the perspective. Non-euclidean looking ass klawf. And I didn't like looking at it, but I was for some reason really desperate to get passed it and into the cave that it was guarding. Which is not like me at all, I HATE going into caves. I tried a few different ways in, and the weird klawf didn't move it just kind of...shifted reality to block me. And I was super upset because I couldn't figure out how to get in the cave, and then after a while I just started yelling out of frustration and it started yelling back in my voice and then the klawf just wound up one claw and fucking PUNTED me outta there.

And then I woke up on the ground. Took me a second to adjust to reality, but once I did I had to shoo Macaroon away from eating the rest of the muffins that had fallen to the floor.

So anyway. Not sure what that was. Probably just a really weird trip from one of your mons' poison or something. Probably.

10/10 your baking is well worth the risk of seeing the Death Klawf. And it DEFINITELY made me mostly forget about my embarrassment earlier today so. Yay.

[arcadian-vampire]

Rice just sent me this Guilty Gear guy and was like 'you're either gonna love him or hate him' and

I'm not sure which rn tbh. His design is so wack I'm just staring like "............"

The paper bag (??) on his head: Iconic. Relatable. I once wore a paper bag as a Halloween costume and would 100% do it again. Epic 'do not perceive me' vibes

Zelda redead (tm) proportions + skin: Iconic. Relatable. Me-shaped. His lower legs should be a horrific shade of purple like mine I think. I just know this dude can dislocate his collarbone at will. Somebody get him some lotion

Ill-fitting nurse (???) uniform: Yeah that's a scary costume. He looks like he's gonna irritably tell me he knows what he's doing, and then fuck it up royally. Very accurate

Giant-ass syringe needle whatever on a chain: Why. I want to draw him and fix that just bc it's driving me bonkers. Put it on ur hip or wear it as a necklace like what tf are you doing

Stethoscope: Stethoscope.

Funky gloves: Yeah mood I hate touching things w my bare hands. I want to say 'negative points for them being fabric instead of rubber' but maybe his fingers get cold

Spear: YEAHHHHHHHHHHH but I want this to be a knife duct-taped to a cane, I want it so bad. I'd say make it a sword in a cane but those don't make good mobility aids. We're running on the assumption he's disabled as shit bc he reminds me of me. Anyway yay violence ❤ Beat the shit out of ur doctors ❤

Tennis shoes: Good choice. Lov that the colors match his nursey outfit and stupid yellow chain

I was informed he has a move where he rams you w a wheelchair or smth: FUCK YESSSSSSSSS THIS IS MY DREAM THIS IS IDEAL

In conclusion: I think I'm gonna adopt him. He's my son now.

[heavyhitterheaux]

REE!! Just read already best friends it took my ass all day!! But I wanted to be comfortable in bed when I read it 😭 UGHH I FUCKING LOVED IT. That so called “best friend” (fake jealous ass bitch) NEEDS HER ASS BEAT, WHOOPED, DRAGGED!! ALL OF THE FUCKING ABOVE

I’m gonna put some of my favorite things from the fic below:

Visit you at work and photoshop you in compromising pictures with different men to make it seem as if you were doing more than just giving them dances and sent it to Jack through a text message. This is really another level of miserable 😐

amila- Jack it’s Camila, I hate to be the one to tell you this. But Y/N isn’t as innocent as she seems. I don’t want for her to string you along anymore seeing as it’s been almost eight months. I’m actually surprised that she kept it up for this long. She does more than dance for people, she sleeps with them. She’s been lying to you. I’m sorry. This whole thing just REALLLYYYY PISSED ME OFF!! 🔪

Jack- Y/N, I didn’t want to do this over a text but, I have a lot of things going on and I feel as though we need to take a break from our relationship for a while. “I didn’t want to do this over text” THEN DONT!! BE A MAN AND FACE HER 🙄

And to think you told your mom and grandmother about him. SHE TOLD THE GRANDMA BROOO 😭 and he broke up with her OVER TEXT!!

And that he wanted to bring you to Kentucky to spend Thanksgiving with his family. AND YOU THE TYPA GIRL I WANNA BRING TO THANKSGIVING!!

“I love you, Mila. Thank you for being the one person that I can always count on.” THE IRONYYYY. Like she’s telling this evil ass bitch she lovers her & don’t even know what this hoe did!!

“Of course, baby girl. I am always going to be here for you. Until the end of time and even after that. All we need is each other.” And here comes her fake ass response, like bitch NO U NEED HER 🖕🏽

“But you really liked him and I was excited to meet him so he better get his shit together and make me a great grandmother.” Nana’s in the hospital bed preaching 😭

“Girl, please. You know you want him and only him. I’ll stop picking with you for now, but do me a favor and drop his address when I get out of rehab. Nana will set him straight.” Someone please tell me, where I go or what I gotta do to get a Nana like this 💀 I feel like this would be @hoodharlow as a grandma, DONT MESS WIT HER FAMILY 😭 or you will be catching them hands.

“I deserved to have that relationship, not her.” BITCH U DIDNT EVEN WANT HIM!! YOU WANTED THAT LIGHT SKIN BIG HEADED ASS HOE DRAKE 😐

I’m not holding on for a got damn thing. Get your shit out of my apartment and you better not come back. I… consider this friendship over with. Who knew you were a jealous ass bitch. Oh, and find another person to get you to help pay for your tuition next semester, I’m done. FIRST OFF, YN told this bitch the fuck off. AS SHE MOTHAFUCKIN SHOULD!! But what gets me is SHE WAS HELPING THIS FAKE WACK ASS HOE WITH HER TUITION?! AND THAT’S HOW SHE WANNA DO HER🤨 ANDDDD I STILL THINK SHE SHOULDA GOT HER ASS BEAT THE FUCK UP 🗣️

jackharlow: the baddest to ever do it. first black principal dancer of americanballettheater that's my wife yall 😍 YALL SEE THAT!! BLACK PUSSY POWER AT ITS FINEST!! Babygirl is married ANDDDD got her dream job 😘

lilnasx: jackharlow I'm spoken for. he better download a dating app. This….this just killed me 💀

REE YOU ALWAYS FUCKIN EATTTT, IM SO GLAD I WAITED TO READ THIS 🫶🏽😭

I FUCKING LIVE FOR YOUR REACTIONS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

YES TO ALL OF THIS AND THANK YOUUUU MAMAS 🥺

Jackman was wrong for not letting her explain

Don't even get me started on Camila

Yess Nana gives me Blanca vibes because I know she doesn’t play about the people she cares about

And Camila wanted Drake's ass not Jack

When she saw how her "bestie" was happy she was like where is my boo at? She doesn't deserve him

WHEN SHE DID DESERVE HIM

And yesss the ultimate form of black girl magic! Jack made sure to help her dream come true 😭😭

Druski and Nas always be going at it and don't know how to act lmaooooo

Who knows, I might do another insta au that shows married life for them and her thriving being the badass she is 😌💕

[darknessillumina]

Criminal Minded

[Verse]

I replace teeth for fangs Commit lyrical arson spittin' flames Straight basketcase, you can't pace with my DNA It don't matter, we did it many times, many ways There's no going back! You want to kill? Kill today An dark world you will never return Got me lookin' for Heaven on Earth but What's the word? Gotta stomp on his neck to the curb Gang vet turf, there's no cure for the illest on Earth For real! Turn him a star, I'm ready to kill Dissolve it in acid just like Dennis Nil Known to execute pigs, no remorse what I feel Thugs and pigs love the mud, you're just a imbecile Suffer much embedded illusion I'm a Ted Bundy–Ed Gein demented fusion Known to put a tag on the toe of Bigfoot's missing link Mister Sinister of imagery and wizardry, I hate the drums Perforate your eardrums, but motherfucker, keep listening Yo, I find knowledge in the silence, you just pray I don't prey Flame pace change the pace to exchange the space As I fall abyss I crawl insist to go back to at least appreciate My smallest things, the tall swings in the ring like Nikolai Valuev I won't care for size, jab lips, they make big caskets When they cremate you, you're a grain like everyone else Too much pain in my dome make the headache burn like Hell I can't represent my folks, chinese culture is full of so much holes I shapeshift to a smoke, I invoke Zozo with the board and provoke Split figures disfigured, whenever I go I am followed By a huge swarm of crows (Oh) Interrogate wack rappers Like MIB with dark glasses past what the masses Pre-suppose the subjects of what we're rapping In my dream I am a lion or wolf, in reality my eyes Keep drippin' tears of foul mold, often never softened Like viral TikTok's, I am the virus and cough The castle of Holmes, Sherlock Holmes fucking uranium bombs Won't rest until we have at least one million songs Yeah.. Kickin' down Heaven's gates Eating lobsters over eleven plates Never safe as I love hard with the clever hate Then I infestate, trust me Consume the sun and the moon The gun and the tomb I wanna permanently change my human shape Close my eyes in Hell and wake in unpleasant place Legislate for me to never wake tired and feeling so laze I may be addicted when I masturbate and ejaculate To feel an temporary trance of satisfaction over constant hate (We talk about hate too much, man) Supreme beam, Grim Reaper, nice to meet ya Odds and heathens, gods and demons, icebox on heaters I'm a five-head-red-demon, keep it beneath your feet heated I'm the kind of nigga to slap Snoop Dogg's weed reefer Ghost phantom, roast Charles Manson, we're some fiery rhymers And if you snuck up under my bed, there's a bunch of hairy spiders Check my footsteps in the ground, you bastard It's like 9/11 crashin', gave brain damage Leave your frame smashed in due to lame fashion You must live in Atlantis, pop your average cabbage And kick your ass like Jackie Chan the drunken master I hate you babblin' while you cappin', nigga stay maddened Chop they mothafuckin' head off, cut his beard off Pour the Smirnoff, I rock a mask here like the Phantom of the Opera Circumstances gave me no options, I arson niggas proper When these cops go home, wanna kill some Black man nigga? I ain't the one! Drop 'em off a fuckin' rollercoaster Or smack 'em with my own PS4 controller (Oh shit) The scene gets bloody like Kangals fighting hyenas You niggas gangrenas (Gangrene) Gang green Grove vs. Ballas, I had plenty but not much Too much Henny in your guts, I promise I can Get you touched by one of these zombies on the corner Who squeeze you like the anacondas, run up on us And get crushed to utmost dust, the explosive about to erupt You see I barely started, but goddamn nigga, I think I had enough The villain of the slums (What the fuck?) I'm tryin' to keep my sanity's edge Whatever's left of jazz effects and Das EFX But that's what they said, the wicked never rest

[safesthaveninexistence]

I'm eccentrically seductive and gorgeous yo. I'm a vision of creative perfection yo. My tits an unbelievable giant. They know it's futile trying to hide their feelings towards me no matter how unhinged they are. Just by being feminine I turn females on. I got rockstar energy. I believe the positive stories about me because whether I believe it or not it's TRUE. Every picture I take they think it's from a photo shoot. I'm fearless to not have their approval. My face is sheer perfection. It's always way more effortless. It's gon get done for me. They never see my defects and flaws. They give me their religious devotion. Damn my inner world is boundlessly limitlessly infinitely healing. I know precisely what to put my money on for its psychic chess and I'm naturally rigged to win. My within is naturally rigged to win dawg. I see myself as this giant they truly see me. My flaws? They never saw it and then they forget it. I'm shocked to see which pictures of mines are actually their favorites. I'm energetically seduction. I speak with excruciating intimacy. I'm the baddest bitch. They in awe I'm the baddest bitch. Never trashy but the baddest bitch. I'm seductive. I know I'm mellifluously fine. So fine i need my ass beat. I'm excruciatingly the finest. I'm the apex predator of being the finest. I see all the energetic story I play for all of them. I'm rigged to take risks. I'm rigged to take leaps. I'm rigged to follow the call of my soul. Sex before and after me is UNBEARABLY WACK. They don't know hot until they met me. Anything they used to think was "hot" now dreadfully pales in comparison to me(2:22). Damn thank God I'm not alone. So my honesty about hating white bitches orgasmically satisfies them. My desires only grow more and more infinitely undeniable. I violate their territory and they think I'm THE DOPEST FOR IT. I display impressive feats of power. I'm impressively mystical. Just by me being me I'm so magically mystical. They see povs that set me up to look so powerfully mystical. I impress and intimidate powerful heros. Animations mimic real life(chills). Dude........ my power is tangible in my presence. I know what happens behind the scenes from within. I'm as magical as the rainbow. I naturally set intentions to transform and grow. Stalking my shit thinking I'm pretty. I'm subconsciously rigged to make all of my dreams immeasurably come true. They physically cannot hold themselves back from stalking me. At least I have fun in the meantime. My desires effortlessly occurs so naturally. My desires occurs so effortlessly so naturally like no effort from my part at all. Whatsoever. It effortlessly unfold naturally. The moment I feel I gotta put in effort I'm rigged to back out. I come across as daring. It's effortless it's just there already. Yeah when I speak it's with peak awareness. MY WITHIN IMMEASURABLY EXCEEDS MY WILDEST EXPECTATIONS. I crack the code within left and right. I'm naturally rigged to be all I desire to be in this Universe. I'm everything new under the sun. My within is already rigged in my favor even without my conscious effort. The magic I see only gets more and more infinitely astonishing than the last time I saw it. I'm never emotionally disturbed. I always gain respect when I express myself. I'm such an unbelievably brightest light. I hypnotize the audience of every room I walk into. I'm too spectacular, too powerful and too magical for the world to even contain. I'm able to give so much love without diluting it seeing I'm bound to get the same love in return. My cool factor radiates onto anyone lucky enough to be in its orbit. I make them feel more understood than they ever felt before.

[lawrencegarte]

okay so my proposals for wish not sucking ass (under a read more cuz who really cares anymore HJGSKJHGASHJ just me!)

number one like i love a villain who's evil for no reason but with his backstory they really needed to lean really hard into magnifico actually just being traumatized and misguided??? they brought that up and then DROPPED it like a hot potato. like his motivations were so messy and confused i literally did not know what the fuck his deal was at any point during the film. it would have honestly been so much more impactful for me if he wasn't evil at all before using the stupid evil plot device.

i can't envision the movie WITHOUT the stupid evil plot device so in my mind i'm like. what if that was the thing that destroyed his family's kingdom. like imagine that. he turns to this thing that hurt him because he's like "yeah i can control this" but he can't oh nooo.... and then it's like ohh that's what happened before probably huh... trying to protect everyone by keeping their most important dreams from them is not the right move actually?? aw...

also magnifico just getting trapped in a cursed crystal forever was kind of wack. again it is a problem of just... really really messy characterization and plot building. like REALLY?? "evil magic, not even once" THAT'S your message???? you're going full 90's anti-drug psa short film messaging???? at no point did i feel like magnifico deserved just desserts. i felt too confused by him to buy into him being unrepentantly evil forever and ever. what was up with that.

like bro the moment when asha and magnifico bond over losing people so important to them, over them fruitlessly dreaming and hoping and wishing for them to be okay, felt SO important. that was set up for a solid movie about how just because it hurts, it can cause you so much grief and heartbreak, you can't just let go of your dreams. that dreaming and striving is important even if you fall, even if hope doesn't always come through you still need to hang onto it.

and that didn't happen at all and magnifico kind of stopped having trauma and overprotective parent disease and just was like a dictator for no reason. huh????????

anyway yeah start with an actually good magnifico, one who is genuinely just trying to stop his people from feeling the pain and loss he felt when he lost his family, and have him using the book not be out of like... pettiness?? but rather a genuine fear of threat for his people. he shouldn't hate his people!! he should love his people so thoroughly that it's heartbreaking when evil magic takes over and twists him into something malicious. and asha should feel this too!!! asha should take a moment to understand how the grief of losing somebody so important can so easily take hold of us. she should sympathize with magnifico even while feeling like this is wrong. and at the end maybe the two of them invite the wishes to bring back what was lost into their hearts. to accept even the saddest and most painful parts of themselves because that's what being human is.

also kill off valentino because he was really fucking annoying.

anyway there were bare bones of a film there but the end product wasn't even really a movie. 2/10. 100th anniversary baby!!!!

[thewoodbine]

In your last ask, you said that the person's dream likely was just kinda whatever their brain had been thinking about that day. How do you determine which dreams have deeper meaning and which ones are just garble?

I love this question!

How To Know If A Dream Means Something Deeper

Disclaimer: You're the only one who can prescribe meaning to your own dreams, but if you ask for my help with interpretation this is what Im going to look for.

It's Unusual For You - Now it's important to emphasize the "for you" part of this. If I dream of worms coming out of a dog that might be a horrific omen of terrible misfortune to come to some people, but I work at an animal shelter. Dogs, and unfortunately worms, are just typical visuals I will see. It needs to be out of the ordinary. For me, I hate the snow, and I don't live near tall mountains. So when I had a dream about being at the top of a snowy mountain I knew to pay attention. Unusual people, places, animals, or themes can be early flags to take a closer peek but usually must be combined with some of the things below to make for a significant dream.

It Feels Different - Dreams carrying messages want to be noticed. They will feel more vivid and be more memorable upon waking. Something about them is tangible in a way most dreams are not. You just won't be able to shake it.

Patterns & Repetition - Your subconscious mind takes in a lot of input, and likewise filters through a lot of input during the day. But if you begin to notice something over and over and over again in your dreams, there is a reason for that. A dream can be super weird and feel super vivid, but if it is total nonsense that can be attributed to all sorts of conditions such as a warm bedroom, caffeine before bed, and so on. A dream or theme can't repeat itself multiple nights on accident.

Universal Symbolism - This is a bit of a nod to number 1, but if the dream is filled to the brim with personal characters, themes, and settings then it's likely all coming from within your brain. Now that doesn't mean a dream ISNT meaningful. Subconscious messages to the conscious are a HUGE part of dream interpretation, but it pretty much limits the chance that it's something external like the universe, a deity, or spirit trying to send you a message. (I could see where other people might disagree with this, but this is my take.) If you've never seen a hawk before, live in an area with no hawks, and haven't thought about a hawk at all and suddenly they're all up in your dream it might be a ring from someone else who does associate with them.

It's Going To Make Some Sense - Dreams have some wack-ass storylines that often are all over the place and have no linear progression but dreams with meanings will often take on a narrative. That's because our brains understand stories really well and if something wants you to understand, it will try to tell you in a story.

So for example

A dream I thought had personal meaning: An individual who told me about a reoccurring dream, with a specific theme that kept popping up, that made them feel a certain way, is someone who I determined was likely being given a message by their subconscious about a hard truth they didn't want to face.

A dream I thought had a spiritual meaning: Someone who approached me about a dream that was vivid, linear, but involved the wildest things they had never before had much exposure to but felt so moved and compelled by that it began to seep into their waking life. I determined it to be the recipient of a message from a particular deity and advised them to reach back out in return.

A dream I thought was just the brain processing: Someone who is just talking about the people in their lives doing some kind of weird dream stuff and they're worried about it because it involved people they know is probably just processing random thoughts they have throughout the day. Even if it's super vivid and felt super weird, it lacked direction and symbolism.

Of course, this is just my two cents, the only person who can properly and truly interpret a dream is an individual themselves- typically after keeping a dream journal and learning what is and isn't normal for them and what different personal symbols are and mean.

But you know... not everyone wants to spend countless hours studying this kind of shit or recording their every dream, and for those who just want someone who has to take a look for them- I love to try to help.

At the end of the day (or night) my number one tip for self-interpretation with no training is: Was that dream meaningful, and if so what did it mean? And if you're really having to scratch and dig to answer that question, it probably didn't mean very much at all.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Two. Jackbox Shenanigans

warnings: swearing word count: 2.6k (not including pictures) behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

Y/n flinched awake, startled by the sounds traveling from the kitchen. Once again, the frosty air pricked her skin, trying to convince her to not move, to stay in bed under the warm blankets. Despite the feeling pulling her into her bed, she rubbed her eyes and sat up, grabbing her phone from her nightstand. Texts from Karl flooded her screen and she replied as she took her comforter off her mattress and wrapped it around herself. She pattered to the source of the noise to find her roommate was making food.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Naomi asked, eyes wide with concern as she looked at Y/n. "I dropped a pan."

Y/n, who was observing the world through one squinted eye, shook her head and she sat at the counter in the kitchen. "No, I should be awake anyway."

"You're usually awake much earlier. Late night?"

Y/n nodded. "George streamed and we all talked for a little after."

"Oh, yeah, I watched his stream this morning..." she started, eyes focused on the food in front of her but Y/n still caught the mischievous glint in her roommate's eyes.

"Of course you did," Y/n laughed through a yawn. "That's your lover."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Maybe if you gave me his number he would be."

"He doesn't give it to many people. I just barely got it and I've been friends with him for a year. I'm pretty sure Karl doesn't even have it."

Naomi groaned, though Y/n knew it was a joke... for the most part. She got another text from Karl, and consulted Naomi for a second opinion.

"Should I post this?" Y/n asked, lazily holding up her phone with a picture on the screen. Naomi squinted as she looked back over her shoulder. "Karl keeps yelling at me too."

"Yeah! That's a cute outfit. Make sure to credit Karl or he'll yell at you for that as well."

"No chance I'm doing that."

.

Incoming FaceTime... karol <3

Y/n hit accept and held the phone up to make a face at Karl. He mimicked the position. "Hello, sir."

"Hello, ma'am."

"What are you doing?" she asked him, walking to the bathroom to brush her teeth, her comforter dragging on the floor behind her as it continued to protect her from the cold.

Karl got distracted and started messing with something out of the camera view. "Um, trying to figure out what to do for my stream tonight. What about you?"

"I'm waiting for you to give me a fit check!" Y/n yelled. Karl quickly looked at the camera and smiled. He set his phone down on his desk and ran backward so his whole body was in frame. He posed awkwardly a few different ways before running back and resuming his position.

"Yes!" Y/n hyped with a mouthful of toothpaste. "Let's go, Karl! Karl with the old man sweater!!"

He giggled. "You're the one that told me to buy it."

"Because it's sick. Doesn't mean it didn't belong to an old man before you."

Karl pouted before his face lit up. "Guess what. I met a girl."

"Oh?" Y/n cooed. "Where? Do you have pictures? Is she cute?"

"She's Jimmy's new cameraman. Camerawoman. I don't have pictures, and yes. She's very cute." His cheeks turned red and Y/n smiled, flipping off the bathroom light and heading to her closet. She threw her comforter back on the bed and tried to pick out an outfit.

"Come on, bud, elaborate. What's her name? Have you asked her out yet?"

"You don’t get to know her name, I don’t want to jinx anything. Plus, you’ll just look ‘Mr Beast crew’ and find out anyway. Also, no, I haven’t. I'm pretty sure she thinks I hate her because I have not said a single word to her. I get so nervous when she's around I freeze up and just like... act weird. And then as soon as she's gone, Chris freaking roasts me so bad."

"Aw, I can teach you how to flirt if you want!"

"Yeah, okay," he scoffed, sarcasm dripping from his words.

"What's with the attitude? I'm great at flirting."

"No, you're not. I watched Gogy's stream last night."

"What does that have anything to do with anything?"

"I heard the way you spoke to Dream."

"What?!"

"You have zero game, Y/n. Absolutely none. Zilch, if you will."

"Yeah, because I wasn't flirting with him?"

"Not successfully, at least."

"Karl, what?" Y/n laughed but she was so confused. "No part of me was trying to flirt with anyone in that stream."

"Oh, come on," Karl groaned. "Don't do this again. Don't pretend to not like a guy and then cry to me when you're wack ass attempts don't win him over."

"Karl," Y/n started, looking directly at him. "I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. I wasn't flirting with him. I do not like him."

"I'm just saying, you talk about him a lot. Like, you always panic when he interacts with your posts because you're scared he's going to DM you right after. And you gush about him a lot."

"I do not gush. I admire the hard work he puts into his videos but I talk the same about him as I do with George and Sapnap. The only difference is I'm friends with them and not Mr. Minecraft. He's intimidating, that doesn't mean I have a crush on him."

Karl stared for a moment, trying to read Y/n's expression to detect any lies. "You'd tell me if you did, right?"

"Karl, I tell you everything. I'd tell you if I murdered your family." They both laughed. "It's impossible to hide anything from you, you're my best friend."

"Okay, sweet, but please don't murder my family, just to be clear."

"I won't. I love your mom too much."

"Well, how was meeting Dream, then? Despite apparently not being in love with him?"

"It was cool. Terrifying because it felt very forced but the four of us hung out on the call after George ended his stream and he was much more relaxed."

"That's true. Aren't we all?"

"Not you! You're the exact same person on and off camera. Just a little ball of giggles."

Karl giggled which made them both laugh more. Suddenly, as if he completely forgot until that moment, Karl sat up quickly and yelled, "What am I going to do for the stream?"

Y/n shrugged. "See if anyone wants to play Jackbox. Chat always loves those and it's relatively easy to throw together last minute. You just need to find people that are free to play."

"Genius. Who should we invite?"

"We?"

"Yeah. It was your idea, you have to play."

"But, I've never played! And I barely know all your friends so I wouldn't get half the inside jokes. I'd be a boring addition."

"Please? They're your friends too! You just talked to Sapnap and George for four hours yesterday and George was the only one playing anything. That's friendship if I've ever seen it."

"But... others.... like literally everyone besides Sap and George...."

"Things like this are how you get to know them better. Besidessss, you're never boring."

"Fine, I'll play."

"YES!" he shouted. "Okay, who should we invite?"

**********

**********

Y/n huffed and scooted her chair closer to her desk. She pulled up Discord and hovered over the voice chat everyone was in. An overwhelming number of voices chaotically spoke over each other as soon as she joined.

"Oh no," she mumbled.

"AYYEE!!" a voice yelled, the green bubble lighting around Quackity's name confirming her suspicions.

"Aye," she said back less enthusiastic. "Hi everyone."

"She's here!" George cheered.

Y/n could hear Sapnap huff. "Finally. Geesh."

"This isn't even your stream, calm down." Y/n's eyes scanned the names on the left to read who else was involved in tonight's games. She had suggested a few people to Karl but wasn't sure about the final list. Besides the boys who had already greeted her were BadBoyHalo and Dream.

"Hello, Bugsy! It's nice to meet you! I'm BadBoyHalo."

Y/n smiled widely at his voice. "Hi, BadBoyHalo! Nice to meet you too."

Her eyes slowly traveled to the last name on the list, which had yet to greet her. She wasn't bitter, but she was curious why he hadn't said anything yet. The boys hyped up him talking about her so much but she had yet to feel that energy from him. She picked at the bottom of her hoodie, eyes darting between the names as they lit up when someone spoke.

"Is Dream still AFK?" Sapnap asked.

"I think so," Bad replied.

Maybe that's the only reason he hadn't said anything. Y/n felt stupid for thinking it had anything to do with her.

"He's probably coding something or something like that," George teased.

"Haha nerdy ass man," Quackity cackled.

"Language."

"Don't you also code shit, George?" Sapnap called out. "You're probably helping him test something after this, huh? As Quackity said, nerdy ass man."

"You know what, Sapnap? I'm not sure I like your attitude all that much."

Y/n smiled. Despite feeling nervous, she was already having fun just listening to everyone talk. The real nerves would kick in when they were live in front of tens of thousands of people and she would have to be funny.

A message popped up in the general chat, notifying everyone that Karl was joining the voice call soon so they shouldn't say anything bad.

"Everyone say something weird," Quackity directed.

Discord dinged and Karl's name joined the list on the side. "AAAHHHH-!" he started yelling over everyone to let them know he was here in case they were saying anything bad. With his luck, they were going to say stuff anyway to mess with him.

"So, yeah, that's how I lost my virginity," Quackity said as if he just finished a story.

"To a prostitute?" Sapnap added quickly. "Wow, I never thought you... oh Karl!"

"Language!" Bad gasped.

"What the..." Karl laughed loudly. "What did I just join?"

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry," Quackity apologized, which was hard to make out since he was laughing so hard, surprised at what Sapnap added to his joke.

"Bad, you can't say language about a prostitute," Sapnap defended. "That's really rude of you. Maybe it's a little unconventional but they're just tryna make some money the best way they know how."

George laughed with Quackity as Bad sputtered. "I-I said language about what Quackity said!"

"What, virginity?" Karl asked innocently and Bad yelled again.

"Bad hates people who have had sex!" Y/n called, causing Quackity to laugh loudly.

"Bad! How could you?! That's so messed up!"

"Wait, guys, is everyone here?" Karl asked.

"Dream isn't. We don't know where he went."

Karl groaned and started typing something, presumably yelling at Dream to join.

"Let's goooo! We're popping off!" Quackity started saying, stalling. "We're popping off!" George joined him, becoming absolute fools to keep the chat entertained.

"Okay, he's here!" Karl said. "Everyone's here!"

"I'm here, I'm here, sorry. I was... yeah, sorry," Dream stuttered out.

"Welcome back, Dream!" Bad chirped.

"Hello!" he replied. Unexpectedly, his next greeting was directed at Y/n. "Hi, Bug."

Y/n instantly got shy for no discernable reason. She blamed it on his voice and its ability to manipulate emotions any way he wanted. That and she was getting attention from someone first. "Hi," she squeaked back, hoping the contrast of her icy hands would cool her face enough to focus on the game.

"Bugsy, you are adorable," Bad stated simply.

"Sapnap! What did you just send me?" George asked loudly, and just like that, the attention was off of her and she could breathe again.

"What?" Sapnap feigned innocence.

This was going to be a long game.

"Let's play!" Karl decided. "Should we warm up with some Quippy?"

Y/n focused intensely on her answers, silently hoping the others would find her funny.

"Oh my gosh," she mumbled as everyone else finished writing. "Y'all, I'm about to get Quiplashed so hard. Don't make fun of me."

"I seriously doubt it," Dream said. "You can't possibly be worse than George at this game."

"Shut up, we always-  it's like 3 am my time. I can't, like, think of things 'cause my brain isn't functioning."

"Yeah, that's why," Sapnap teased.

"Surreee," Dream said.

The first round wasn't too bad. Y/n was in 5th place but she got quite a few laughs so she didn't care too much about where she stood. She got a notification from Dream on Twitter as everyone laughed at one of Quackity's answers.

Y/n looked back at her screen and saw the new prompt and answers. She read them quickly as everyone was laughing and with a few seconds left to choose, voted for the one on the left. It was funnier anyway.

She loosened up substantially after another round, and she knew it was mostly because Dream had reached out to her. Something about him comforted her and made her feel safe, which warmed her heart.

"Bugsy! What the hell, that's so messed up. You're so messed up," Quackity yelled, laughing at the answer on the screen. They were playing Survive the Internet and her comment got taken way out of context, just as the game intended.

"Oh my gosh!" Karl cackled loudly. "Bugsy, I didn't know you felt that way. Oh my gosh? They're just kids?? Bugsy out the gang?"

Y/n hid her face in her hands and laughed. "Noooo!! Wait I never knew- I didn't know I was ever in the gang?"

"She really said, 'infant children? slaughter them all'," Sapnap joked.

"You know, I think you'd get along really well with Technoblade," Dream added. "Though his specialty is orphans, as it appears."

"No, no, no, whoever wrote that heading is SO messed up!" Y/n defended, rereading the heading that made her comment look bad. She knew it was a game but all the attention on her was making her embarrassed. "Who would think to put that?"

"Everyone cancel Busgy!" Karl yelled.

"Karl, no! You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"I don't know how I feel about my best friend killing children..."

"Karl!!"

"Nooo," Bad protested softly. "I like Bugsy. Don't cancel her."

"Everyone vote!"

The article with Y/n's name turned out to be Dream's. "Dream! What the hell is wrong with you?" she yelled, causing him to wheeze loudly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I wanted point."

The whole night ended up being like that. Y/n had a lot of fun and by the end, she felt a lot more comfortable with all of them. Quackity, Karl, and Sapnap were loud and very high energy while George and Bad were quieter. Dream was half and half, sometimes matching Quackity's volume and sometimes going a while without saying a word. Overall, Y/n had a lot of fun and hoped to let back in the gang in the future.

**********

PREVIOUS • NEXT

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A/N: WOOO PART TWOOO!! Hope you guys enjoyed this part! Also thank you so much for all the love on the first part!! I did not expect it to get as much attention as it did!!!!!

we clearly haven’t got to dream and yn being close yet bc they literally met the day before this but i added a small little dream/yn moment :] pls let me know how you liked this part!!!!!!!!!!!! 

taglist: OPEN (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan

[elfyourmother]

What is your beef with The Aitiascope? Only if you don't mind me asking.

Really a couple of things.

From a design standpoint it’s just wack and boring af. I mean basically every dungeon from the Dragonsong patches on is essentially a tunnel on rails but the better ones do a bit better of a job of obfuscating that and Aitiascope didn’t even try. Here is the magic wall, pull to it. Here is another wall. In an area that is supposed to be vast and boundless it stuck out for all the wrong reasons. The bosses are so damn forgettable I legit had to look up who they were because I deadass didn't remember them at all aside from Amon and I couldn’t tell you any of the mechanics

I could forgive all of that if the storytelling there was good but that’s really my biggest beef with it, from a meta standpoint I hate that dungeon because it’s probably the most blatant example of Endwalker’s biggest weakness to me, which is the clumsy and ham fisted attempts at manipulation of player emotions. It’s something this game generally avoids doing, which is why it sticks out so badly to me the rare times it does. And AS really genuinely felt like the writers looking me dead in my face and saying, “okay, I know we have not treated the deaths of these other characters with the same importance as Haurchefant, so here is their spotlight moment and please forgive us"

The thing is, I’m the type of person who is very stubborn and defiant when it comes to the perception of folk trying to manipulate my feelings and when I feel writers trying to hook puppet strings on me it has the entire opposite effect. I emotionally check out and start looking at my watch waiting for the shit to just end.

Ysayle showing up at the end as Shiva was downright tone deaf to the point I found it insulting. Sure I get what they were going for, “oh look, how clever, she’s recreating the ice boulder mech from Syrcus Tower’s Amon fight so we can hide. because you know she’s Ice themed” but all of that (quite bizarrely!) forgets that “Shiva” the Primal was a construct born of Ysayle’s self-aggrandizement-as-coping mechanism, something that was really a product of trauma more than anything, and imo it retroactively makes a mockery of her Azys Lla moment to have her just pop into that form in the Aetherial Sea like it’s nbd. That she willingly took that form again to save WoL et al, despite knowing it was basically a manifestation of self-delusion--that meant something. To have her just randomly do it again out of nowhere. And vaguely dehumanizing if I’m honest. After the shitshow of E8 back in ShB there is literally nothing I want to hear from this game about Ysayle anymore.

In short the whole damn thing just served as a reminder of why I’m an Everybody Lives kind of writer. I didn’t hate this dungeon because of that, ftr. I hated it because it really felt like they were beating it into the ground to the point it was tragedy porn, it was peak “look how sad it is your faves died. so sad. are you sad again yet?” writing. Like I said, when I sense that it has the opposite effect. I don’t feel grief, I just feel anger at them literally beating dead horses. (Between this shit and garbage ass DSR I sincerely just want the game to keep Haurche’s name out of its mouth at this point.) We didn’t even need this shit either, is the craziest thing to me about it. Every last one of those characters had a genuinely touching reference/moment elsewhere in the course of the story. Estinien and Alphinaud talking about Ysayle’s dream after Vrtra revealed himself to his people was like the one time this game has done right by her since Azys Lla. Even that scene with the Fortemps lads was fine. Please, if you have to keep going to this well (and you really really can stop now, game), can we just allow these quiet moments of dignity to stand on their own? We don’t need magic buffs and ghosts in the afterlife. Jesus H.

The trial at the end is really what saved that segment of the story for me but the funny thing is it was the canary in the coal mine to me for Ultima Thule, which has all the problems of this place but even worse. Because it’s a whole damn zone of it combined with the most gobshite pacing since the trolley nonsense in ShB and writing so hamfisted I was literally cringing in secondhand embarrassment for most of it. And just like AS it was the trial that saved it.

tbh AS just confirmed my preference for characters surviving and growing and healing, even stumbling and taking steps backward at times, instead of being tied up like forgotten loose ends or shoved onto buses for Teh Dramaz, with extreme prejudice even. AS illustrates to me why killing characters off should absolutely be the last resort, and why it has to be done with care. Because it’s very rare that stories can handle the aftermath properly, it’s a very tricky thing to get right. Eventually, even in stories that initially do, the temptation to make the player/reader/viewer wallow in it for cheap emotional hits inevitably becomes too much to resist.

[softmafia]

okay but imagine hisoka and (fem)reader that are not dating going on an undercover mission of sorts, and they go dancing in a ball,,, mutual pining and all and holy hell while they dance they just keep up their intense eye contact, their synchronised footsteps and this chain of "jokingly" flirting back and forth one upping each other every time while somehow managing not making the flirts downright crudely sexual o_O sorry just me being wack at 2am -the lurking anon

Ok, I know I already did this before, but I think I can do better with this. Bc I absolutely hate what I made the first time, I’ll still keep it up though so I can learn from my mistakes, BUT I know I can do better, so I’m rewriting this. With more gusto this time.

Once Upon a December

Warnings: fem y/n, Hisoka being Hisoka, nsfw themes, mentions of violence(not detailed or a main aspect of the story), minor body horror(?)

Y/n sucked in a breath as she tightened the cinches on her corset, letting out a loud exhale as she dropped her hands to her sides. She looked at her half-naked self in the mirror, the way her thigh strap hugged her leg made her flush in embarrassment, reaching her hand down and slipping a finger between the strap and her thigh, pursing her lips.

“If that thing gets any tighter I’m afraid you might spit your organs up~” Hisoka spoke from the doorway behind her, making her jump and cover her bare chest, “Hisoka?! You’re supposed to be getting ready you bastard!!” Y/n yelled, glaring daggers at his beady golden eyes, noting how they shone in the dim lamp-lighting. “Oh I’ve been ready, sweetie~ you’re the one who needs to pick up the pace~” he dragged a queen of diamonds across her collarbone, a tongue dragging over his bottom lip, “Unless you plan on wearing that, which I don’t mind~” he clicked his tongue in thought, “In fact, I insist you go out like that~ ooh showing up bare-assed in a classy event~ how scandalous~” he squinted at her in arousal, tauntingly smirking at her.

Y/n lifted one of her hands to slap him away, unaware she accidentally half-flashed him, immediately bringing her hand to her chest again when she saw his wide-eyed predatory gaze, “As if!! Get out!!” She swatted him away with her stiletto instead, “If you get any closer you’ll get a 7 inch heel to your dick!! Don’t try it lil’ boy.” She threatened, making him laugh, “Ah~ even with those heels you’re still a tiny little thing~” Hisoka commented before swiftly gliding out of the room before he could be hit with a small compact mirror Y/n had thrown in his direction. As he left the room he let loose and fully allowed his arousal to consume his body, not being able to stifle his quiet moans as imagery of using Y/n filled his mind.

Y/n growled and grabbed the glamorous satin, dark blue gown from her bedside, “This mission better be worth it or that bug-eyed Zoldyck is so getting it.” She grumbled under her breath, sliding into the snug-fitting gown, then looking in the mirror again. Y/n pressed her lips together, she looked pretty good in a dress she never thought to try on being buying. Although it was too small on her however, the dress squeezed against her chest tightly but she could bear with it. She sighed and reached her hand behind herself to try and zip the back, brows furrowing when her tiny arms couldn’t even reach the zipper.

Hisoka was in one of his dazes, starring intently out of the window as his nails dug into his palms. However he was snapped out of his trance when Y/n ran to him, her hands holding up the front side of her dress as she walked, “Hey redhead.” She said, a red tint spreading across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose, “I need help with this zipper.” Hisoka thought he was dreaming, he confidently strode to her backside, his mouth almost hanging open and drooling comically.

He didn’t hesitate putting a hand on her hip as he slid the zipper upwards, painfully slow. “Ooh.. it seems the zipper is stuck a little bit~” that was a damn lie, “Darling~ your breasts are a little too big aren’t they~?” Y/n fumed, her face was already red enough from Hisoka touching on her, “No it’s not!! You’re doing that on purpose!! Just zip it up and get this over with.” She looked at the ground. Hisoka giggled and finally zipped it up all the way, but held her tightly against him, “Ah~ this dress suits you~” he spoke into her neck, taking in her perfume like it was a drug, “You should wear things like these more often~”

“Yeah. No.” Y/n squinted as she tried to wiggle away from his grasp, “This is the first time I actually wore something like this before..” she admitted, to which Hisoka gasped, “Really~?! Well you look amazing~” he finally released her from his grip. Y/n laughed nervously and straitened her gown, “Ok, ok, seriously we have to go. Like, now.” She grabbed Hisoka’s wrist, catching him by surprise, “If we don’t hustle we’re gonna be late.” She said as she began to drag Hisoka to the limo Illumi had stolen for them, being controlled by one of his needle-minions.

The ride was pretty much silent, aside from Hisoka’s eyes drinking in Y/n’s presence, he couldn’t help but scoot closer and place his hand atop of her thigh. Y/n didn’t seem to mind but a blush did appear on her cheeks, which Hisoka took note of.

While the limo was stopped at a red light, Y/n noticed a baseball stadium that was currently hosting a game. She sighed and leaned against the window, “My grandma actually taught me how to play baseball..” she reminisced, “Sometimes I have dreams about me and her playing together.” Hisoka looked at her with interest, but didn’t say anything. His silence gave her the wrong approach, “Sorry.. you probably didn’t want to hear that.” Y/n whispered.

Hisoka opened his mouth to protest, but couldn’t find the correct words to console her, so he said nothing and turned his head away as the limo drove forward.

“Do you have any idea who we’re trying to kill?” Y/n finally asked after a couple of silent minutes, looking at Hisoka and took in his handsome features, that dreaded blush spreading across her face again. Hisoka hummed, “Well, one of the Zoldyck’s targets, Illumi can’t show so that’s why he’s counting on us. It’s the owner of the establishment we’re headed to.. he hosts these parties every night.” He explained, rubbing his fingers against the fabric of Y/n’s dress, “I don’t think it’s anything nen related, he loves showing off his wealth.”

“Hell I would too if I was that rich.” Y/n exhaled, propping her elbow against the car door, “Maybe not a fancy, ballroom party but.. maybe a club or something.” She stifled a smile at the thought of numerous strippers on her arm as she lounged in the VIP section of a club. Hisoka wanted to roll his eyes, an amused smile appeared on his face.

“Ah. We’re here~” Hisoka said as he grabbed Y/n’s wrist tightly, nearly dragging her out of the limo. “Woah!! Take it easy!!” Y/n growled, “You’re like half my size!!” Hisoka fixed her around his arm, tightly holding her close to his body, “Shhh~” he tapped her lips with his finger, “Don’t make a scene~ and please, try to act ladylike~” Y/n scowled at him and fixed her posture, squeezing his arm tightly on purpose, “It’s 2021, I’ll act as I please.” She retorted, which was met with Hisoka’s arousal. Y/n tugged at his arm to bring him to her level, whispering in his ear, “If you don’t want us to get caught, get your head out of your pants.” She hissed at him before standing him up straight.

“Ah darling I can never seem to focus when I’m around you~” he winked at her, Y/n flustered, then remembered they had to play an act. Married rich couple.. she sighed, it’s just an act.. just for one night. An uncommon sense of sadness washed over her, but she collected herself and shook away her feelings; she had a mission to do and she wasn’t going to let anything get in the way. The first thing that caught Y/n’s eye was the bar, she imagined all of the fancy fruity cocktails she could indulge herself in, her mouth practically watered until Hisoka quickly hauled her to the ballroom dance floor, which, for him, was the first thing that caught his attention.

“Elegant is it~” Hisoka said as he spun Y/n around himself like she was a toy, his toy. His partner felt like she was floating, she was sure she would’ve fallen if it hadn’t been for Hisoka’s strong, secure arms. He was so tender with her when he wanted to be, she loved the feeling of his hold, his intoxicating scent.. she shook her feelings away again, she was getting sidetracked. Y/n squeaked when she was pulled against Hisoka’s chest as they glided around the dance floor, still mindful of the other guests. “This place is gorgeous~ just as gorgeous as you~” Hisoka commented, ok this wasn’t an act anymore. Y/n’s whole face reddened as she looked up at him with starry eyes, but upon fully looking at his face in such a casual scene, all sense of flustering and nervousness was washed away, she smiled and stifled a small giggle, “Speak for yourself, it’s not every day i get to see you without your face paint.” She dragged her hand across his jawline as he purred lowly, “You look.. pretty.” She winked at him. “Thank you darling~ As much as I adore my usual attire, I think I’m starting to enjoy this natural look~ it really fits me, especially with the cologne you gifted me for my birthday~”

Y/n knew she recognized that scent, she was surprised Hisoka actually kept it, he wasn’t one to be sentimental about gifts, she thought he had thrown it out. That alone tugged at her heartstrings, “You actually kept it..?” She blushed, not being able to wipe that damn smile off of her face. Hisoka adored her beautiful expression, not being able to wrap his head around how she could ever hate her appearance, “Of course I kept it, I would never throw a present away~ That is, presents from you..~” he pressed his nose against hers, their eyes locked lovingly, “I care about you a lot, Y/n..~ my lovely wife~”

Y/n almost swooned, but then dragged herself back to reality, she slapped a hand over Hisoka’s mouth and squinted at him, “Woah!! Woah!! Code names remember!! We can’t get caught!!” She whispered at him harshly. Hisoka felt embarrassed, how could he slip up so easily? He usually would never mess up his usual “acts”, because that’s what this was, an act. Just an act.. he nodded, knowing the only way he could ever have Y/n was by force, in his eyes at least.

Y/n and Hisoka stared into each other’s eyes, lost within each other before they both bolted in the direction of their target, both seeming to speak to each other with their gazes. The man that Illumi asked for them to kill had just left the ballroom, leaving his security and bodyguards behind. They waited for the perfect moment to catch him alone before they could strike. Y/n had to lure him in, using her ability that Hisoka was so enamored by, but hated to see her use it. On anyone other than him, at least.

Her aura filled the “empty” hallway, she stood at the entrance as Hisoka hid behind the corner right next to her, waiting for her to make their prey vulnerable so they could strike. Y/n leaned against the wall, dragging her finger along the frame of one of the paintings, “I was waiting to catch you alone, big boy~” she spoke lustrously, the man across the hall immediately engaged in her trance, so seduced by her thanks to her ability. He walked like an aimless zombie towards her, she held her arms out and beckoned him, “Don’t be shy~ I’m all yours~”

Hisoka, on the other hand, was furious. Though he impressively managed to contain himself, squeezing a card tightly between his two fingers, his arms crossed against his tuxedo, “Hmmm..” he hummed quietly. Y/n had finally lured him in, pulling his face close to her ample chest as she watched him drool, “This is my favorite part~” she smiled as her skin and bones opened up to reveal a fleshy, monstrous body beneath, throned tendrils emerged from her and constricted around the man who finally snapped out of her trance. He began to scream in terror as the realization settled in; there was nowhere to run, he’s going to die. Hisoka finally turned around the corner and threw his card, it lodged into the man’s neck, killing him quickly.

Y/n dropped the body, her flesh and bones reverting to her normal state. She stretched her arms above her head and adjusted the top of her gown, “Illumi better let me eat the next body he kills.. And it better be bigger than this one, damn he would’ve made a good meal.” She chuckled, then looked at Hisoka, studying his face, “Are you ok? Usually you’re kind of happy after a kill.” Hisoka’s pupils darted in her direction, “Mhm. I’m glad.” Was all he said before grabbing his phone from his coat pocket, informing Illumi to collect their killing before the cops arrived. Whoever paid the assassin asked for the lifeless body, so discarding it by consumption, or just throwing it in the garbage, was not an option.

“Sometimes I.. don’t like your power.” Hisoka admitted, still having a noticeable displeased look on his face, this took Y/n by surprise, usually Hisoka loved strong people and their abilities, he lusted over them and loved seeing them in action. Unless, Hisoka thought of Y/n as weak. Hisoka often saw people who used “natural abilities” as dead weight, in most occurrences they weren’t as strong as nen users, however Y/n’s “Siren Call” was nen, how else was she going to lure unsuspecting victims into her grasp without making a scene? Y/n began to worry he was loosing interest in her, “What do you mean..?” She questioned, crossing her arms and looking at him, a worried look on her face. “Hm? Oh, nothing.” Hisoka said again, beginning to walk away, she’ll know who she belongs to, in due time, “It’s interesting to watch.. you’re strong.”

Y/n was annoyed by Hisoka’s simplistic wording, knowing him, he only spoke like this when he was really troubled, she furrowed her brows and caught up to him, “Ok, Mister, what’s wrong?” She spoke to him childishly, “First you’re all over me on the dance floor and now you’re upset.” Hisoka paid her presence no mind, but continued to reply to her, “That was an act. And now it’s over.” Y/n’s heart couldn’t help but crack a little when she heard those words, she took a moment to look away, but still they kept walking beside each other. What gives? Y/n distressed, Why is he being so moody?

A frown appeared on her face, she turned to look at him again, “We both know that wasn’t an act.” She got no response, sighing. They continued to walk until they made it to the limo again, which was discreetly parked to where the police couldn’t spot them. The first few minutes of the drive were complete silence, then Hisoka spoke up again, “I wonder if Machi is in town~” A fire lit inside of Y/n, a flame of anger, she stammered, “I thought you were done with the spiders?!” She pressed, her hand balled into a fist, tightly gripping the fabric of her gown, “And you’re not injured, you were untouched!! You don’t need stitches!!” Hisoka gave her the cold shoulder again, just looking out of the car window. Their eyes met in his reflection, to which she quickly turned away and growled, just waiting to get out of this limo and go home.

Hisoka sighed, his chest hurt, he didn’t want to tell Y/n the real reason why he was upset because.. well, because he wanted to be petty like that. It upset him that she would just allow herself to seduce men like that, and in front of him! Hisoka almost regretted begging her to learn nen, her natural abilities were already powerful on their own, he thought nen would make her unstoppable, overpowered! But who would’ve thought she would teach herself the art of seduction? She should only do that for me.. Hisoka pouted, despite neither of them being in a relationship with each other.

Once the limo stopped at the street of an abandoned, run-down city, Y/n took her chance to swing the car door open and stomp right out of the vehicle, not bothering to share a passing glance. Hisoka knew how jealous Y/n would get, and she made no effort to hide that either; diner waitresses, Heaven’s Arena staff, and even strangers on the street, nobody was safe from her envious wrath when it came to Hisoka. He knew how angry Machi had made her that one time, and thought he could play that to his advantage but it seems he just made things worse. He sighed and lowered his head, running out of the limo to catch up to her.

Like the climax of a romantic film, he dashed towards her, grabbed her wrist and dipped her, colliding their lips together romantically. Y/n was still very angry, though the kiss made her face redden, she grabbed Hisoka’s shoulders tight enough to break bone and pulled him away, “Hisoka!!” She growled with the anger of the devil. The magician gulped and gave her a coy smile, “I guess I should explain myself..~” he cleared his throat and swooped a strand of Y/n’s hair behind her ear, which earned more angry growls, “I don’t like it when you seduce men. I don’t like it when you seduce anyone.”

Y/n paused, taking a moment to fully absorb his words, he was jealous?! Why? Y/n opened her mouth, but then she was struck down, her knees collided with the card concrete as she looked up at the man, he was still grabbing her wrist tightly. The look in his eyes sent chills throughout her entire body, she gasped and tried wiggling away, but his grip wouldn’t letup. “I’ve waited long enough~ And I’ve had enough~” Hisoka snarled, striking more fear into Y/n’s soul as she started to panic, desperate for escape.

“You’ve always belonged to me, Y/n~ I think it’s time you start obeying~”

Why do most of these fics just end with Hisoka wanting to turn Y/n into a pet😭but hey, at least I’m getting a hand at writing. I think I did well for a rewrite.

Btw this isn’t the “odd scale” fic I was talking about, that one is coming next, so just be prepared for that.

[yostresswritinggirl]

Exiled States the Obvious Pt. 1

Warning: May contain spoilers, may not be 100% accurate, sick ramblings, may break your heart upon debunking common theories

Some canon notes I've noticed and analyzed, this will be placed here not just for safekeeping but for other writers to be known of them too :DD

From Venti's story I; it is said that as a loophole to being refused to be served alcohol because of his appearance, he 'drinks on the job', performing while drinking alcohol the audience gives him instead of Mora (his own suggestion)

Story IV offers some interesting details from Venti's story quest: First, Decarabian truly loved his people and believed that he had done good for them. Second is that Venti was supposed to gift his friend an eagle's feather but wasn't able to do so because he died.

Venti knows how to forge Rex Lapis' signature. Venti knows how to FORGE REX LAPIS' SIGNATURE.

It confuses me how Venti and Diluc doesn't have some kind of estranged relationship knowing how aristocracy/monarchy damaged freedom in Mondstadt.

Venti has been to Celestia and it apparently fucking sucks. That or Venessa told him about it, but it still SUCKS.

The Anemo Archon can and will strip you just to protect his identity/secrets/past. Ask Mona.

Albedo and Klee in his trailer, we can consider this canon: Babysitting Klee includes fucking battles. Best big brother.

The way Venti talks about Albedo speaks of [How Earth is a thing in Space] [Creation of Human Life through Earth] which are direct points to God's (biblical) creation of the universe and humans. With the dialogue, Venti recognizes Albedo has Godly powers that can create such miracles, take this line with a pinch of salt tho.

A connection: The real reason Zhongli does not carry nor care about prices is because of his trailer, THE FUNERAL PARLOR LITERALLY CARRIES ALL HIS EXPENSES

Hu Tao's existence proves that Xiao has a sense of humor and it is MORE THAN LIKELY that the adepti knows and can casually smile or laugh.

This piece of work exists: "Sigils of Permission were once created by Rex Lapis and infused with adeptal power. During the Archon War, such talismans were used by mortals to channel divine power. Now, most of its power has worn off, but adepti will still refrain from harming its holder."

Xiao is actually less hostile/asshole-y in the Chinese version than the English one and should be taken as canon since, well, Mihoyo is a Chinese company. Lots of dialogues or voiceline connotations are lost in translation.

Zhongli's retirement scenario does NOT mean that the adepti will not be needed or will also retire (looking at you Keqing) because as proven by the fight, the adepti are still in need of protecting mankind.

The Qixing and Adepti all know he is not dead, stating he gave hints that he hasn't really died to them.

A huge possibility that Zhongli recites this line whenever he finishes or fulfills a contract: "The contract is fulfilled. That which thou seeketh is now bestowed unto thee, for my promise is solid as stone."

If his words from the cool trailer is to be taken into heart, then Zhongli had long since cared for and protected humans, during the archon war.

Zhongli is not a MORTAL FUNERAL man, he is an ADEPTI FUNERAL man.

This broke God has the AUDACITY to go to operas, and not just any operas no no, "operas by the most celebrated performers."

He does not know shit about poverty because he doesn't know what it's like to be poor. He doesn't need to eat.

Besides the usual, he has more titles, some which are pretty funny: God of History, God of Stove. Liyueans(?) call him Rex Lapis, outside of his nation everyone calls him Morax. And in operas and children, he's more known as the War God.

Zhongli is very likely to cause divine intervention or sightings because a lot of stories and tales in Liyue about him are actually first-hand experience of accounts seeing the God himself.

Wrath of the Rock does not only mean Zhongli smacking asses with a laddle: Qixing of Liyue are officially responsible of punishing contract breakers.

Ningguang's role holds the big bad book of laws, with a whooping page count of 279.

This infomation is mostly for me to clarify Rex Lapis standing in the Seven: He is the first to ascend into Archon-hood, the one out of two remaining of the original Seven (Barbatos is second longest) and that besides him and Venti, the original Seven would also gather for wine in Liyue until they all left Archon-hood.

Zhongli really fuckin did a pest termination arc.

I repeat, ZHONGLI DOES NOT HATE SEAFOOD. To clarify, he hates TENTACLED seafood/cuisines. He can eat seafood tofu, happily.

It's so funny how the concept of "equivalent exchange" exists and is exercised in contracts, but not in a more dangerous aspect such as a l c h e m y.

The reason Jean is working as an Acting Grand Master is because the actual Grand Master is out on an expedition.

It is not normal for the Harbingers to be like Childe.

While battles and sparring is one of Childe's most usual traits, a lot of his character lines point to the fact that he's not outright looking for beating people up 24/7 and that his thirst can also be quenched by thrill or excitement.

General ones:

The other five archons do not uphold/focus on the duty of leading humanity, which was the prior responsibility of the original Seven.

I just realized the Archon War was literally about fighting to get a seat on the Seven. The way Archons are chosen are a mystery, just look at how Venti got his Archon-hood smh.

A pattern that we should consider but may be debunked in the future: A playable character MUST posses a visible Vision. So bye Scaramouche banner :')) pls debunk this Mihoyo

With Morax being unable to make Mora, economy is gonna be wack in Teyvat. In essence, every piece of Mora is valuable and will need to be circulated. Nations may fight to hold the most Mora and the one leading and already found a work around on this is actually the Tsaritsa, who has long since focused on economic power. This may not be coincidence.

Characters who are CANONICALLY good with children, to an extent: Ningguang, Beidou, Xiangling, Baizhu, Albedo, Jean, Childe, Ganyu, Xiao, Lisa. Italicized ones are the to an extent ones.

The Fatui has connections with Mondstadt, mainly the Ordo Favonius.

200 years ago sure is an oddly specific duration in Lisa's story and this might be expanded in the Sumeru chapter.

A clarification to a subtly known fact : It is the combined power of all the adepti that revived Qiqi, not just Xiao.

WILD CARD

Almond Tofu is NOT made of tofu. And in original Chinese recipes, it's not even fuckin Almond, it's goddamn Apricot seeds. But in Genshin it is canon Almond.

Tag lists for my homies that I want to share this with. Tagging other authors or lore enthusiasts are also greatly appreciated:

@heiayen @dandelion-dreams @karemelle @jrnightingale @galassyalex @boxofteenageideas @chels-void @starconch @worldsfool

PS I'm sorry for suddenly tagging you guys, I just thought it would be nice to share these with some authors that I know or have seen me, please tell me if you want to be removed, s-sorry in advance 👉👈