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#have I made this post already whatever I think it’s funny
weirdmarioenemies · 3 days
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Name: Zomboni
Debut: Plants vs. Zombies
Plants vs. Zombies is such a silly game. Silly is baked into its very code. And I love that! You know me! I live under rotting wood, eating silly and breaking it down into nutrient-rich soil! But I think Zomboni has the honor of being the silliest thing in this already-silly game!
There is no way Zomboni would exist if it weren't for the wordplay. So thank goodness for the wordplay! A zombie, on a Zamboni. Though, we are informed that it is actually "more closely related to a space ogre than a Zombie". What impeccable word choice! So it's not even actually a space ogre. Just some weird guy creature. Awesome
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Zomboni drives an ice resurfacing machine, and I have no idea what the general public's knowledge level of these things is. Does the average person know the exist? I knew, but I played and hated playing hockey as a child so I got to watch the ice being resurfaced, which was the best part. Some guy who may or may not be tangentially related to space ogres will drive this machine around the ice rink, cutting down the surface and laying down fresh ice to make a nice and smooth surface, I think. Now, I may be using the generic term for this product, but commonly, there is one brand name that is used commonly, like Band-Aid or Q-Tip or Velcro, and for that we can thank...
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Name: Frank J. Zamboni
Debut: Utah
Frank J. Zamboni! Hooray! What do you have to say, Frank?
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Wow. So true, Frank. I'm sure this message is reaching its intended audience in this post. Anyway, ol' Ice Tank Frank made such an iconic machine that it is THE ice resurfacing machine in the public consciousness, and there is even a trademark for its iconic shape! That seems unnecessary but ok. Now, when the ghost of the Zamberino was scrying the mortal realm for references to his work in media, he came across parody in a funny video game, and OBVIOUSLY something had to be done about that!
And from then on, Zomboni's description was updated to reflect that it is NOT to be confused with a Zamboni® brand ice resurfacing machine, you silly billy, why would you think that? And they also plugged the Zamboni website in-game, so that the audience of, I must emphasize, a silly video game, would be more likely to buy an entire ice resurfacing machine, or at least its related merchandise. I really would think this would all be fine under parody law, but maybe it has to do with the shape trademark. Whatever. To the Zamboni company's credit, they have some incredible merchandise.
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What a powerful item. With this, the course of a baby's life can be changed forever...
Zomboni with an O, I mean with two Os, approaches while creating a trail of freshly laid ice that cannot be planted on. The brand-ambiguous ice resurfacing machine is quite tough, but instant-kill plants are effective, as are Spikeweeds and Spikerocks, which will instantly pop its tires!
Zomboni is a considerable threat, instantly flattening any plant it reaches before its destruction, though the player should be pretty well-equipped to combat it, and the ice is laid on the right side of the screen, rather than the precious left side. Pretty manageable! But Zomboni is only the beginning, and as much delight and intrigue as I have gleaned from Zomboni's existence, it's what FOLLOWS Zomboni that is, in fact, my favorite zombie(s) in the game.
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If Zomboni is allowed to create an ice trail, it will be used by Zombie Bobsled Team! Yeah, Frank got a whole "name/debut" section and these guys just get a bolded name in a sentence. You never know what I'm gonna do next! Hee hee!
Zombie Bobsled Team is exactly what it sounds like! A team of zombies, in a bobsled! So that's four zombies, with a defensive vehicle that has to be destroyed before they can be harmed! Zomboni was already over-the-top silly, and then Zombie Bobsled Team goes even higher over that top. And it's a Big Top, where they keep all the clowns. There is not much else I can say about Zombie Bobsled Team, but it really speaks for itself!
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For some reason there exists official art of "Mullet Zombie", the Zomboni driver without his vehicle and hat. And for an even somer reason, they put it on the box art for the DS version! PvZ1 is simply very strange when it comes to official key art. Messed up.
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cloudlessly-light · 2 days
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The darkest parts of me (5/5)
A/N: Thanks to everyone who’s encouraged and read this little story of mine! I’ll be back to posting pure filth soon!
Title: The darkest parts of me (5/5) Summary: They find each other in a dark world where they do twisted things. The only way things could have become more dangerous, is if they were together. Funny how life turns out.
Unsub!Hotchniss AU.   Word count: 2,2k Rating: Explicit Warnings (for most or all chapters): smut, descriptions of violence, descriptions of murder, gore (nothing too explicit), mentions of weapons
David Rossi stands in a parking lot looking at the ground where only hours before a man’s body had been lying. A body that knew was a from the murders he’s spent the better part of a year hunting. They had gotten the call early, a quick description of the scene, but witnesses in the diner had described a couple, and he knew they had to go to California to see it for themselves. They had never been so close to catching them.
His phone rings, sounding loud even though there’s people everywhere and he looks down to see Jason’s name flash on the screen.
“Hey.”
“I’m leaving the ME’s now. It looks like a snapped neck, the man was an ex-marine.” Jason speaks as he walks to the car. “Wife and kids at home.”
“This wasn’t premeditated.” Dave says as he looks around and realizes that in the dead of night there was no way no one would be able to see the murder take place. “He had recognized the unsubs from the news and went to confront the woman while the man was in the bathroom. He was on with 911 when it happened.”
“So they’re close by.” Jason concluded for him.
“They have to be.” Dave walks around the crime scene as he holds the phone to his ear. “The roadblocks are up, every cop in the state knows to be on the lookout. They won’t get away. Not this time.”
There’s a beat of silence and Dave waits for Jason to say what they both were thinking.
“Let’s hope so.”
*
“We can’t stay here.” Aaron told her, surprisingly calm considering the circumstances.
“I know.” She says, her bag already packed, her gun cold against the small of her back where it rests in the lining of her jeans. “I think we need to get out of the country. It’s time”
“Where do you want to go?” He cups the back of her neck, the hand that only a couple of hours before had snapped a guy’s neck, was now so gentle as he brushed his thumb over her cheekbone.
“Anywhere we want.” She smiles when she hands him the passports that Clyde had made for them. “As long as we go fast.”
He nods, because they had planned for this, had planned for what they would do if something went wrong. He just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. But they had a plan, actually had multiple ways to leave and somewhere in the back of his mind he thanks whatever lucky star for Emily’s funds.
She watches as he carries their bags to the car with a small smile. She knew she should be worried, that she should be scared because at any moment they could be found. But she isn’t, she’s excited, a familiar rush running through her at the thought of a chase. It’s a new kind of adrenaline, and she wonders if she’s found another way to get the high she’s always chasing.
They drive on backroads, not caring that the drive would take much longer, because they knew that any highway was a road to getting caught. His hand rests on her thighs as they drive, her smaller one on top of his and when she squeezes it he looks at her.
“Do you feel bad?” She asks and he knows what she means without her having to elaborate.
“We don’t know if that man deserved to die, but he put us in danger. It was worth it.” He offers her a small smile and she squeezes his hand again, a smirk on her face.
“It was sexy.” She says, dark eyes gleaming and he chuckles.
“My dirty girl.” He always loved how much his killing turned her on and it took every ounce of willpower not to put the car in park to have his way with her. But they needed to get to Arizona, from there they’d be able to get on a flight. It was a long drive, hours on the road, and they didn’t have time to stop.
“Once we’re safe, I’ll show you just how dirty I can be.” She feels his fingers dig into her thigh and she grins.
“You think you haven’t shown me exactly how filthy you can be yet, sweetheart?” He chuckles, but there’s an uncomfortable ache in the pit of his stomach, want quickly settling between his legs.
“I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.” She leans over the center console and licks his neck, her teeth grazing the skin there slowly before he urges her back into her seat.
 “You’re sure we can trust Clyde with this right?” He asks, needing to think about something else, anything else, than how much he wanted her.
“Yes. He’s already made arrangements, we’re flying early tomorrow morning.” She knew that Aaron didn’t fully trust Clyde, but he had been the only one to help her when she decided to get away from her old life, had helped her again after she killed Ian. If there was anybody she trusted except for Aaron, it was him.
“How did you meet him?” He realized he had never asked her.
“His dad worked for my dad, and when he got older, he just like me, wanted another life. When I decided to leave, when I decided to become someone else, I reached out to him and he lived in the Netherlands, I went there and he helped me become Lauren Reynolds. We didn’t speak again until Ian, but he has connections everywhere, can make anyone disappear and he helped me again.” She didn’t talk much about life with Ian, much less about her time with her parents and she knew Aaron was hanging onto every word.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to still be in contact with him? If he has ties to your parents and your old life?” He knew that Emily was intelligent, that she wouldn’t take unnecessary risks with her life.
“He, just like me, changed everything about himself, he technically doesn’t exist. He made it look like he died in a plane crash years ago.” She took his hand again. “Trust me, we don’t have to worry about him.”
“Okay sweetheart.” He pulls her into a kiss, a quick thing stamped onto her lips that she smiles into. “We better hope we don’t get caught before we get to the plane.” He winks at her, and she knows that he’s finding this just as thrilling as she did.
*
They had been looking for hours, had every cop in the city out patrolling the streets. But still, the unsubs were gone.
“It’s like catching smoke.” Dave grunts as he sits in the precinct with Jason, a cup of bad coffee in front of him on the table.
“No killer is unstoppable, but maybe we simply got here  too late.” He says, his own cup untouched in front of him. “They know we’re after them, they had a head start.”
“What are you thinking Jason?” He looks at the look of sadness on his friend’s face.
“We know that they have money, that they’ve travelled the country for a long time, the woman seems like a ghost, she doesn’t exist anywhere. They’re getting ready to leave the country. And we might not be able to stop them.”
“I’m calling the airports.” The detective that’s seated with them says and Jason nods, but as he looks at Dave he knows that he’s thinking the same thing he is. The unsubs had an escape plan, and now they’re stuck playing catchup.
*
Emily yawns as she drives on the deserted roads, it was late, they had been driving for most of the day and night. She looks over to Aaron who’s sleeping beside her, his usually intense face as relaxed as it’ll ever be and she smiles. They were getting close to the private airport, they were close to escaping. She wondered what their new life was going to be like.
As she sits there, lost in her own thoughts her phone rings and Aaron grunts beside her as he wakes up.
“Yeah?” She already knew who it was, he was the only one who had her number.
“One of my men saw you passing him about a minute ago. Ditch the car, I’ll have him pick you up.” Clyde’s low voice sounds through the phone.
“Why?” She asks but still pulls off to the side of the road while keeping him on speakerphone so Aaron can hear.
“Because your rental is more noticeable than one of my cars.” She can hear his smirk through the phone. “Leave it where you are, about a mile down there’s a gas station, we’re waiting for you there.”
“What about the car we’re driving now?” She puts the car in park while Aaron rubs his eyes and stretches.
“We’ll make it disappear, it won’t be traced back to either of you. Come on darlin’, no need to be difficult about this.”
She looks to Aaron who nods, seemingly agreeing to the plan and they both get out of the car.
“Okay, see you soon.” She throws the phone to the ground and smashed it. She wouldn’t be needing it anymore.
*
It was almost 3AM when a young cop comes running into the small conference room they’re sitting in.
“They’re in Arizona! We got a call from a detective, they saw the suspects getting into a car at a gas station.”
“They have help.” Jason stands up at the same time as Dave.
“But they won’t be able to board a plane. Everyone knows to be on the lookout.” The cops says, his voice hopeful.
“They have money, connections. They’re probably flying out from a smaller airport, one that won’t be stopping them if given enough money.” Dave explains as they start to walk through the precinct, they didn’t have a lot of time.
“Like a bribe? But that’s illegal.”
Dave smiles at the other man’s innocence and squeezes his shoulder.
“Money will get you anywhere, kid.”
“Come on, we need to get there, we’re calling the team in Arizona on the way.” Jason is already holding the phone to his ear as he urges Dave to follow him. “We’ve got them.”
*
“The cops are coming, the whole fucking cavaliere.” Clyde says with a grin on his face, clearly enjoying the situation.
“How do you know?” Aaron asks as he sits on the small private plane next to Emily who’s leaning into his side, his arm around her shoulders.
“I have men everywhere, and I’ve gotten three calls already.” The British man looks at them with something close to glee. “You did always know how to make things interesting, darlin’”
Emily rolls her eyes but still smiles at his words. She feels Aaron’s hand tightening on her upper arm and she looks at him in amusement. She found his jealousy sexy, she always had, and he always wanted to put his claim on her, always wanted her to feel like his.
“Thank you for helping us out.” She says to the man across from her.
“I’ll always like helping an old friend out. For a fee that is.” He winks at her and she shakes her head at the way all Clyde always wanted was money. She takes the suitcase beside her and slides it over the table, her eyebrow arched as she waits for him to open it.
“That should be more than enough.” She swears she sees his eyes light up at the sight of the bills in neat stacks in the suitcase. “Now, get us out of here.” Her gun rests on the table and she picks it up casually and she feels Aaron tense against her side, always ready to back her up if needed.
“No need to get violent Em. You’ll be in the air in less than thirty.”
“We’ll have to be quicker than that.” Aaron says as he looks out the window where he sees blue lights in the distance. “We have to go now.”
*
Dave doesn’t think the devastation of making it only minutes too late would be something he’ll ever get over. He will never forget seeing the small plane take off, a shadow of a man looking back at him from the air.
He wouldn’t give up on finding them, but realistically he knew that he might never do. There was no trail where they had gone, no transactions to look into, no bank accounts, not even the people helping their unsubs had their real identeties. It wouldn’t have mattered if they did though, they were gone. All of them.
*
Aaron smiles his thanks at the bartender as he grabs their drinks. The sun was hot on his skin, the sand soft as he walked in his flipflops towards the sunbeds where Emily was laying. She looks up at him from behind her glasses, her skin shining from the lotion and sweat and he licks his lips at the sight.
When he hands her the colorful drink she had asked for, she sits up in her chair. She clinks her glass with his, a smile on her face. “We made it.”
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rooolt · 5 months
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fantasy high junior year finale in which no matter what’s going on they must stop everything to sit and take an SAT for three hours
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aphsillyos · 2 months
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his default recall is so cool..........
#not me arts tag#ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough#i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................#i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass#because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong#also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy#he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field#he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like#this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics#''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what#is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there#i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations#like he has a laugh animation for every weapon.......#all the various weapon animations...#maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do#i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them#cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations#unless we get an alune legendary.....#hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth#like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game#the contrast would be very funny methinks#if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices#but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune#(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....)#then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion#can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk#(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself)#i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something#anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute
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crazyw3irdo · 1 year
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my dad & step-mom are visiting soon so we’ve hung up the trans flag in my room. they’re not homophobic or transphobic or any kind of anti-queer i just haven’t explicitly told them and i just wanna see how they’ll react.
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cartoonpigeon · 3 months
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some Roman rambles from school :3
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revolutionarysuicide · 3 months
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i never bothered with the like blocking new followers stuff (unless it was a bot or they were like some kind of reactionary) or locking a post if it gets too many notes cause i didnt really care if ppl followed me/reblogged my posts/etc but bro i have literally had one post blow up every day for the past 2? 3? days and have had several posts get upwards of 10k notes the past 2–3 months this is insane. i am so glad that tumblr fame means absolutely nothing though like even the most tumblr famous ppl would never like be paid to promote a brand or whatever. absolutely would never want to be an Influencer or whatever it is they're calling it these days. iam just vibing here
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kalu-chan · 1 year
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Being on Tumblr is just like. Going into a fandom tag. Reading like 3 posts. Vowing to not go into that tag again.
Going back into it the next day.
#at least today was uhhhhh. less bad.#honestly kinda funny bc there were so many#''It's so obvious Ship A is canon and not Ship B because of these things.'' - ''Ship B is clearly canon Ship A is not''#One after another#As someone with low to no stakes in either it's just kinda like. lmao. chill.#Like yeah ship whatever and it's always nice to see things that imply your ship#(I still smile over ''Dig in there Mr Spock'' and ''Captain please. Not in front of the Klingons.'' :) )#But you don't need to like. argue against other ships.#Fandom is a playground and y'all are not gonna run out of sand lmao#But god yesterday or the day before was. Oof.#Though also a bit funny bc there were two posts right after another like#''Character A is NOT badly written y'all just suck'' - ''Gosh I wish Character A wasn't so badly written 😭''#from different people obviously but still skfjwkfj#But uhhh yeah I think I should stay out of the tag.#The fandom can be 1 mutual; 1 close friend I spam on Discord; and a few online pals in a Discord thread#... i plan on writing fanfic for it tho and i'm already. curious. whether that'll finally get me hit by fandom drama#I'm usually good at avoiding it but I do not trust this fandom in particular#Also a lotta people in this tag that go ''Their relationship can't be X because clearly no one in X relationship would act like that''#which just made very clear they have probably never experienced said type of relationship lmao#Had to add some tags but I'm done now. maybe this time I'll manage to stay out of the tag skfnskfns#I should before the Shipping Arguments make me dislike the ships I enjoyed or was at least neutral about lmao
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caruliaa · 2 years
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the worst part abt tumblr is sometimes ur mutuals will start just postinf stuff that u feel is like. idk you personally feeel kinda rly off abt it but u have no idea if tgats reasonable or not so ur like well it would be weird nd potentally kinda dickish to try to tell them but also if it was just someone u followed ud prob unfollow then but nit only are they a mutual they r a friend mutual so ur not doing that but also u have no idea of this is like. smth showing a difference between u nd this person that might potentially fuck up ur friendship later on or manybe its literally just memes and jokes and/or they didnt think abt it that much and your just being weird and sensetive by caring abt it at all. and u dont know what to do abt it so u usually just vaugpost abt it. which is what im doing now
#i feel so like dumb like i literally feel so dumb. omg i feel so dunb#like bc i am being so dumb !!! omg#just like. idk maybe making fun of panic attacks and acting like someone is dumb for not wanting to watch smth w homophobic slurs in it#(NOT that a protag of a show were the point is the character arent all good ppl saying it just in regards to ppl not want to deal w#homophobia in the media they consume when its already smth they have to deal w irl)#kinda doesnt feel worth it to me to make fun of what is for the most part. a guy u made up.#like im sure ppl like that do exist but the post in talking abt literally talked abt it like a hypothetical type thing yk#but also i get that they mutual rbing and prob the op didnt like. mean any harm at all or anything like that like.#they prob just meant it as a funny meme thing or whatever infact they almost definatly did#im just like. being senetive and dumb abt this for no reason !!!#idk i think the problem is is that im just like. a lot more upset by being mean and making fun of ppl than others are#and i dont mean that in a im better than others way i meancthat like. as a dig to myself#bc im sure id be a much cooler+funner person to be friends w if i wasnt like this#but for some reasonn i am just a sensetive weirdo !!!! ell ohh ell#anywayy i slept fucking atroicusly late night im running on 3 hours sleep and i cant get abt to sleep#bur ill try so basically dont takevthis as me Being Online and also#consuder my sleep deprivation in everythig i am saying here i cld wake up from a nap and be like ehy tf did i say that#but also i kinda felt this way b4 i was sleep deprived so like. thatll prob still happen but itll b more like#why tf did i post that and/or why was i being so dramatic online#also i capatlized Being Online to say like. being active and present and answering asks and messages type deal#but it made me realsie that like. idk i hate how whenver i say shit like this a lot of ppl wld take it as me being overly online or whateve#when like. this is equivelant to hanging out with a group of ppl irl and a friend laughs at a joke that makes u uncomfy#its not some weird exculsivley online issue#that also annoyed me abt smth else that happened earlier this year like no i do not have a ‘’’’parasocial relationship’’’’’ w u#u r my bffs new friend who i dont like i am engaging in a teenage girl right of passage or being petty and worrying ur stealing me bestie#get it right !!!#okay i think i am talking too much ant bullshit#also to calrify i no longer feel that way abt that person those last few tags were abt it have been resolved#flappy rambles#also somw of my tags were eatn but im goin 2 sleep sorry for bein a creep a weirdo wat tha hell am i doin here……
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eydi-andrius · 3 months
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Orange Peel Theory (Love and Deepspace Characters x Reader)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Synopsis: Where you tried the viral orange peel theory to your boyfriend
divider by @/cafekitsune
a/n: its been a while since I saw feedbacks and reblogs on my posts. I highly appreciate it if you could share your thoughts here. 🫶
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❄️ Zayne ❄️
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- The incredulous stare Zayne gave you after you asked him to peel you an orange is a bit insulting and…you admit kinda funny
- He is usually good at hiding his feelings on his face but it was so obvious that right at this moment he is thinking how weird you are and you're probably up to something. He’s just not sure if it's good or bad
- With that look, you have no choice but to give excuses, and one of it was you just got your nails done
- He frowned at that and insists on seeing your hands, not trusting your words, and you were so happy that you did actually went out and fix your nails at a nail salon as a reward to yourself
- After he saw your manicured nails, he gave out a troubled sigh, before he took the orange from your hand and started peeling
- You were so happy when he was finally done, but was surprised when he raise the orange out of your reach and grab a small plate and pick up the oranges and place it there neatly
- You watched as he raised his eyebrow when he saw you brimming with happiness as he set the saucer in your waiting hands
- He shook his head when he heard your chirp a thank you but you can see a hint of smile on his lips
“Did you hurt yourself? Show me your hands.”
🐚 Rafayel 🐚
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- Rafayel scoffed, raised his eyebrow and asked what's your deal
- You tried your best not to laugh on the way he’s crossing legs and an obvious look of mistrust on his eyes. His sassiness is truly up there and you find it truly entertaining
- You were about to give an excuse when you heard him tuts and grab the orange from your hand, regardless of your reason
- However, while peeling, he will grumble and complain about you taking advantage of your boyfriend privileges
- You swallowed whatever mirth bubbling within you and you thanked him when he was finally done and was about to give back the newly peeled orange
- But, right in the middle of it, he stopped midair, pulled back the orange, pick it apart and said “aahh” asking you to open your mouth so he can feed you
- He probably saw your frown and gave meaningful smirk at your confusion
“Well, I wanted to take advantage of my girlfriend privileges too.”
🌟 Xavier 🌟
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- You felt a bit bad when you noticed a little too late that Xavier had already dozed off on your couch when you asked him to sit down and wait for you
- While scrolling on your phone, you were so excited to do the viral orange peel theory on him but you’ve guessed you forgot how tiring his day must have been, since it's only been seconds when you asked him to stay so you can grab an orange in your kitchen but he is already fast asleep
- You were about to put the orange back and call it a day when you hear him mumble a soft “give me that” and you admit that startle you a bit
- You frown and stare at his sleeping form. Thinking you must have been tired yourself hearing a sleeping person talk, when he repeated himself again and although surprise, you gave him the orange, on his open palm that he raised
- Even with his eyes closed, he started peeling the orange little by the little, and he made you worried when his head tilted on the side, almost falling from sleepiness
- After perfectly peeling the orange, with no questions asked, and his mind already off to dreamland, you found yourself admiring Xavier and how lucky you are to have him
“Where is the orange?....I will peel it for you.”
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1uvtae · 2 months
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mistaken very much | jeon jungkook
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★word count: 7.4k words!!
★genre: nothing but university romance fluff and very unfunny crack because i have the worst humor,,,look, there's this tennis classmate, and maybe....you've made a pretty big mistake by staring at his butt....? and somehow this turns into a 'crush' on the jeon jungkook that you have never even seen.
★summary/snippet: you don't think staring at his butt cuts straight to the conclusion that you, y/n y/l/n, has a crush on him....but whatever. it's not like you actually have a crush on him...right?
★kae chit chats: forget about motorcycle boy, let's invite tennis boy into the family!!!! this was meant to be posted on v day 2022 but i kind of messed up my sleep schedule and just completely gave up on finishing this lol...,,,nothing but a fluff fic :P and I picked this back up in 2024 lol
do you want to give me some feedback? request something fun? chit chat with me?!
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︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
the feeling of being mistaken by someone is so fucking annoying. 
especially when you have probably just been mistaken as a pervert…!
the boy in your tennis class (not to mention, very handsome.) was just squatting in front of you, playing with the school campus cat that you have also been taking care of for months. you were also heading to feed the cat when you had already found him there, squatting down, caressing the cat. he was wearing a white button-up and baggy ripped jeans, but you can’t help but notice that….half of his shirt wasn’t tucked in? and it just looks like it’s dangling out like seaweed…? 
after staring at the white fabric for a few seconds, you look down at the bag of cat food, before putting it in your pocket, planning to feed the cat after he leaves. but when you lifted your head back up, your eyes met with the boy, there were no emotions in his eyes but you felt a hint of shyness rush to your head, and the idea that you were going to feed the cat floated away from your head as you immediately rushed back to your dorm. 
nayeon listened patiently and childish complaint that there was also someone looking after your cat, and how he mistook that you were staring at his ass for a good few seconds, before commenting: “don’t you realize that…he might think you were there to stare at him…..and how you ran away when he saw you…that’s quite suspicious…?”
you freeze. “holy shit.” 
nayeon giggled as she continued. “also last tennis session! you were zoning off at the back of his head, so when he turned, he gave you this weird look.” 
“no freaking way. i didn’t notice that.”
“it was a funny look, not going to lie.”
“help, what if he actually thinks i have a crush on him cause i keep staring at him?!” you try to contain the racing thoughts, and contemplate if you should’ve just kept your eyes pierced on the ground and not on his ass, or the back of his head.
“i mean he’s pretty good-looking, it won’t be weird to have a crush on him.”
you roll your eyes at her comment. “i don’t get it, it doesn’t mean everyone has to have a crush on him just because he’s good-looking, nayeon.”
it was the next tennis lesson, and to avoid more unnecessary interactions, you avoided all eye contact with anyone, but that didn’t stop nayeon from squealing and reporting every small movement from the boy. “he’s facing your direction!” “oh my gosh he’s right behind you!” your hands start to clam up with sweat with every small comment from nayeon. “stop looking at him, gosh.” it was after the lesson that you realized how even more suspicious you looked trying to avoid any eye contact and how often nayeon reported his movements in small mutters and whispers, and how you most definitely looked shy enough for anyone to mistake that you like the ‘good-looking tennis classmate’.
the teacher checks names off the clipboard as she reads two names at once to put their tennis equipment away. “nayeon, y/n.” she looks up at the two of you and back to the heavy boxes of tennis rackets. “the boy in the back, the tall one, help them with the boxes, please.” you and nayeon turn your head back in sync, to see the familiar boy nod and walk towards the both of you. you let out a sigh as nayeon excitedly squishes your arm, another strike. 
is this perhaps….hopelessness? 
yup, not only the boy, but everyone in your tennis class probably thinks that you have this awfully obvious and big crush on this person who you don’t even know the name of.
he cuts in front of you two, the three of you in complete silence. you and nayeon follow him like two cautious cats. he stops at the heavy boxes, and you two walk up to help him, but before you know it, he has already picked up the boxes with one hand, the other hand reaching into his pocket to answer the buzzing phone. what the fuck. you two shared a glance in disbelief, not going to lie, that was very, very, attractive. “damn. pretty tough.” you mutter under your breath and feel the two people from either side look at you immediately, his hand still holding the buzzing phone and nayeon giving you a concerned glance. 
the way back to the dorm was filled with your quietness and nayeon’s laugh. “he probably used to think you were just someone who had a crush on him, but now he thinks you are a literal weirdo who has a crush on him.” you run your hands through your hair in annoyance, how did the sentence even slip through your mouth? looks like you won’t be getting sleep tonight. and you sure didn’t, you kept rolling and shuffling in your bed to think of a tactic to this misunderstanding that you and the tennis boy had going on, and with your smart and very intelligent little brain, you figured out a plan.
“to not make him think that i have a huge fucking crush on him, i am going to pretend i have a crush on somebody else.” you take a sip of your coffee as nayeon nods. “hmm…who else is there to ‘like’?” you think hard before coming to the conclusion that there is no one in your tennis class that is worth ‘liking’. nayeon helps you to think for a good minute: “min yoongi from music…?” you shiver at the thought of your cold and savage music seatmate. “if you really want me to die, just say that.” nayeon chuckles at your comment before going back into the deep search for a suitable ‘crush’ for you. “i heard the tennis dude is in geography.” 
“geo!” another friend of yours popped into the conversation. “they have so many hot guys there!” 
you felt a rush of excitement: “recommend me some!”
“what’s your type?” 
“maybe… a pretty quiet one, maybe shy even? not that popular so no one will care if i like him, you know?”
nayeon shakes her head. “you can’t expect someone to be good-looking and not popular, y/n.”
“i think jeon jungkook.” your other friend suggested. “he’s quiet but literally more than half the school likes him, but that won’t be as weird if you also ‘like’ him, cause everyone likes him.” 
nayeon nods in agreement. “never seen him in my life, but i swear i hear his name mentioned on campus wayyy too often.”
hm. interesting.
the next week came by fast, before class you made your way to the disposal machine and picked up a can of coke, putting it in your backpack before heading to tennis class.
it was free time when you made your way to where the tennis boy was, he was practicing with the wall, he spared you a glance as you walked towards him, and back to practicing with the wall. you take a big breath as you walk towards him, the coke still in your backpack, expecting that when he drops the ball, you are going to pick it up and hand it to him, making it a perfect opportunity to start the ‘conversation’. you lean against the fence, waiting for him to drop the ball. 
not even once has he dropped the ball in the 10 minutes you have been standing here. you feel your legs start to cramp up. finally, he decided to rest for a good while, catching the ball with his right hand as it bounced off the wall, he lazily walked to his bag. you immediately rush over with the can in your hand. he looked at the can in your hands, then backed up to you. you couldn’t help but take in his facial features. it was the middle of the day, and the sun was high up in the sky, warming everybody up, and it seemed to warm your cheeks up when you made simple eye contact with the boy. 
he raised an eyebrow at you as if he was asking a rude and straight ‘what are you doing?’ with his facial expressions. you felt a small taste of regret that second, thinking that this boy definitely thinks you have an obsessed crush on him now, so the only thing you can do now is hope that the next few things you are going to say work out. 
“i bought coke for you.” you mumble as he takes a big sip from his bottle of water. “i don’t need that.” he has a straight face and everything. you take another deep breath as you figure out what you are going to say next. maybe this can be a little fun.
“are you free right now? i have something i want to say…” you tried to act as natural as you could. “i'm gonna practice.” he replied coldly before taking his equipment back to the court, your hand found his arm quickly, then released it in a second when he stopped in his tracks. “it’s just a few sentences.” you used a pleading tone, hoping this would convince him that you were going to ‘confess your crush’ to him. he patiently stopped and looked at you. you start your act, stuttering and acting shy, everything you have seen in romance confessing scenes in films. “well. i’ve noticed you for a long time…” you take the can of coke to hide your face as if you were a blushing mess. “i don’t know if you noticed that…” the ‘obviously you have a crush on me’ expression never left his face. “haven’t noticed.” 
you suppress an eye roll. “all i wanted to say was, i knew you’re in geography…i just wanted to ask if you know a jeon jungkook, i’ve had a crush on him for pretty long, can you help me to get his number?” you definitely want to give yourself a pat on the back, a round of applause even. you felt proud of yourself, proud that this ‘plot twist’ you have created for him, will deflate his ego and convince him that you never had your schoolgirl crush on him, but on this jeon jungkook that you have never met.
the tennis boy didn’t even raise an eyebrow at the comment, still calm as ever. “i don’t know him.”
it's even better that you don’t know him. you thought. all you wanted to know was to share the signal that you have a crush on someone who is not him., you didn’t even care to want jeon jungkook’s number, it was all an act to ‘spread the message’, you pretended to be extremely upset that he did not know this crush of yours, whining an ‘awe~’ and nodding slowly, “okay then…”, leaving him to walk away without sparing a glance at you.
you don’t know what’s wrong with you now. 
before you and this tennis boy had this thing going on, you never seemed to be seeing him around campus. but now after the last interaction, you seemed to be seeing the person everywhere. seeing him in the supermarket, seeing him in the cafeteria, seeing him in the library, seeing him between classes. 
and you know what’s more ironic? it’s always when you’re also with nayeon. you know nayeon’s dramatic acts are to notify you that ‘the boy that thinks you like him’ is over there, but from someone who doesn’t know this situation, it looks like she’s trying to tell you ‘there’s-the-boy-that-you-have-a-huge-mother-fucking-crush-on’. 
and the weird thing is, although you had explained that you like jeon jungkook, he seemed to still have the attitude that you are obsessed with him. especially when you bump into him and are forced to mutter a ‘hi’ or ‘hey’. all he would do was a gentle hum in response, or just nod. and you made a keynote to yourself to never say hello to him ever again. 
the main point was when you and nayeon saw him in a convenience store. you two quickly made your way out as soon as he and his friends walked in. but nayeon saw somebody she knew and immediately started chatting along as the social butterfly she was. you watched from your side-eye as he and his friend walked out of the door.
“isn’t the girl in the beige crew neck your little fangirl?” an unfamiliar voice came from the side, from a boy with soft blonde hair, walking next to the tennis boy. 
and then you hear it.
you hear a “mhm” of confirmation from the tennis boy. you felt a rush of anger run to your head as you retained yourself to scream at them. and then you watch the blonde boy spot you and nayeon, awkwardly, he turns away quickly and walks off with the other. but the other did not awkwardly leave, turning back to glance at you without shame. and that boiled your blood even more.
on the road back all you did was scream and mutter some curse words dedicated to the unshameful tennis boy. 
“don’t you think he might think that the whole jeon jungkook thing was an excuse you used to get closer to him?” nayeon spoke slowly after you had expressed all your anger. and you feel your mind pause. 
yup, it sure is hopelessness now if it wasn’t already hopelessness before.
the second morning. you woke up early and the first thing you did was to check on the cat, but you were extremely cautious. you did not want to bump into you-know-who, so you woke up extremely early so you could avoid seeing him. but after squatting down for just a few minutes. the expected happened. there he was, but this time wearing a black silk button-up, the buttons halfway up and you couldn’t help but take a few seconds to stare at him. but it’s okay because you were here first, so that makes you the person he should be waiting to finish with the cat. 
he stopped in his tracks when he saw you, standing in his spot, waiting for you to leave. 
‘do you get it? do you get it!’ you want to scream this at him. ‘this scene seems familiar! because you were in his spot the other day! you were just simply waiting! you don’t have a crush on him!’ you want to shout this all, but you were busy with the cat.
but weirdly today, the cat doesn’t seem to like you. it didn’t even take a single bite from the tuna stick you were feeding it, and it avoided your pats and touch today. 
well..that’s not a very good sign, is it?
“it doesn’t like being touched.” he walked closer, “it might scratch you.” you knit your brows at his speech, you know that. you were here taking care of the cat earlier than this tennis boy…yet he’s giving instructions on how to take care of the cat??
 “i know this cat.” you explain. “it likes me a lot.”
you pause when you watch the cat move away from your touch after your sentence, the cat avoids your touch as it slowly trots over to nudge his leg instead. he squats down and caresses the cat gently, then lifting his head to look at you with a glance, a look that made your blood boil. the competitiveness in you starts burning up like fire, you wave at the white cat, gesturing for it to come back to you. “lulu, over here.” 
the cat doesn't budge, instead, it gives you a lazy side-eye look and back to enjoy the boy's company. is this perhaps, favoritism?! 
“don’t randomly give it names.” he speaks slowly and quietly behind you. “what’s your problem?” you snap back with a tone that does not sound very friendly, and he stays silent as you stomp away. “i’m leaving, lulu!” you yell back one more time, and the cat: still under his touch, eyes closed, relaxed and unbothered. 
okay then…this was your first time fully understanding the meaning and the understanding of pretty privilege. 
“gosh, i was so hurt by that cat.” you complain back in your dorm. “it isn’t supposed to be like this! normally if you give it food, it will love you…but today it was completely under that tennis boy’s control. this is rigged.” nayeon pats the sheet mask she had on her face. “you saw him again this morning?” you sigh. “yeah, unlucky isn’t it?” 
“he probably also thinks he’s pretty unlucky too.” 
“if i knew he was gonna be there, i wouldn’t wake up so early to avoid him.”
“i was thinking,” nayeon starts again with the tone that you do not like very much, knowing this would be another thing to worry about tonight. “what if he thinks you were there just to create this ‘oops i did not know you were going to be here’ scene? like you were waiting for him to come and see the cat too to create this awkward meeting.” nayeon’s guesses always feel like lightning that struck straight into your soul. “and you said the cat didn’t really seem to like you, doesn’t that look like as if you aren’t close with the cat, as if you were there for another reason…? 
that night was one of the sleepless nights filled with overthinking and worry. 
you were heading over to the cafeteria the second day with a friend. in the crowded and loud dining hall, you hear a loud shout of ‘jungkook!’ from one side to the other. hearing the familiar yet unfamiliar name, you turn your head back in curiosity, but instead, meeting eyes with the tennis boy. 
he was sitting at a table with 4 other boys, including the one blonde boy you saw last time when they were walking out of the convenience store. you tap your friend’s shoulder. “hey, turn your head to the big table with the 5 guys, is jeon jungkook in there? don’t make it obvious, please.”
you watch her basically throw her head back aggressively for what seems like 2 minutes, then turn back and nod. “yeah, isn’t he fine?” “holy shit, can you be more obvious?!” but hearing that your ‘crush’ is also on that table, you slowly turn your head once more and scan the boys, then realizing that out of all the boys, the tennis boy is still the most attractive one for you. although you don’t know which one is jeon jungkook, none out of the 4 boys seem to be your type. 
your shoulders drop a little without realizing, disappointed in your ‘crush’. in fact, will the tennis boy think you have bad taste? 
wait, why would you even care about him in the first place…right…?
the second week of tennis class, also your second streak of buying a can of coke for him. but this time, he doesn’t seem as cold and weird as last time. when he saw that you were waiting for him by the side, he dropped his equipment and walked slowly to you. “what?” you feel yourself swallow out of nervousness. “i saw you guys eating lunch last friday.” his brows knit slightly. “who?” 
“jeon jungkook.” you reply quickly as if the name burns your tongue. “you said you didn’t know him last week…” he used an unspeakable emotion to reply. “i think you have the wrong person.” you were confused at the comment, but continued once more. “just say if you know him or not.”
“it doesn’t matter if i know him or not.” he licks his lips and runs his hands through his dark brown hair, maintaining eye contact with you and you feel you slowly lose your breath at the intense eye contact. you clear your throat and hand the can of coke to him, before taking a plastic bag containing some snacks. “the coke is for you, and can you hand these snacks to him?” before he can refuse it, you add another sentence. “if he doesn’t want them, take them for yourself, don't return it back to me, i would feel  very embarrassed if you did.” 
he stayed silent for a few seconds, looking at the items in your two hands, then lifting his left hand to take both the cans of coke and the plastic bag. you let out a long breath. you hope this is obvious enough that you, y/n y/l/n, do not have a crush on him. or any liking. nothing. 
you relax back into your chair, taking in your cup noodles as you listen to the gossip and events that happened today. there seems to be a geography boys vs gym boys basketball game that went on this afternoon, which turned out to be extremely intense and entertaining to watch. your ears perked up at the mention of geo boys. 
you swallow your bite. “so who won?”
“duh, of course gym, they’re the professionals. how embarrassing would it be for them if they lost?!” your roommate answered, “geo lost because two of the best players got hurt throughout the last half of the game.” the thought of the tennis boy ran into your head, and you could not help but wonder if he got hurt too. 
“oh yeah, the jeon jungkook you have a ‘crush’ on also got hurt. think he tripped and hurt his knee or something.” she continues. you nodded before turning to nayeon to ask;“what about the tennis dude? did he play today?” 
“he played too, he was so good, i think i saw him also get hurt.” nayeon lets out a nosey ‘aww’. “you care about him quite much y/n….” you hesitate for a long time, putting yourself into deep thought. “nayeon…this is weird but, do you think that you somehow programmed my brain to take an attraction to him. because i don’t know why i’ve been thinking about and meeting him so much.” 
nayeon knits her brows. “just say if you like him or not…anyways, there’s another game tomorrow, wanna go watch?” 
you don’t know how you ended up here.
you thought you and nayeon were already early, but the court was still jammed with people. you tried your hardest to squeeze into the crowd, once you had finally worked your way to the front, your eyes caught him. 
he stood in the corner, talking to his teammates, the red basketball jersey lazily overlaying a white tee, he ran his hand through his hair, and your eyes could not move away from him. a shout from a girl next to your side entered your ear. “jungkook looks so good?!” but you didn't have the attention for jeon jungkook, your eyes and mind was completely taken away by him instead. 
the basketball game started, your eyes followed him as he took a sip from his water bottle, and high-fived his teammates before entering. a scream came from the two girls next to you. “go geo!!!” the scream caught his attention, causing him to turn towards your direction, spotting you standing next to the two girls. you make a good second of eye contact as you look away and cheer for jungkook instead. 
after giving jeon jungkook a good shout, you turn back to him, but he is still looking at you. you did not know what to do, avoiding eye contact, you scanned the entire court with your eyes but just, not looking at him. he moved and looked away to get ready with his teammates, and you felt obligated to stare back at him. you watch him as he looks away, then lowers his head to suppress a small smirk. 
and that smirk did a lot to you, you could not help but pinch nayeon’s arm. 
the sharp whistle brought you back to life, the game has started. you did not understand basketball and didn't watch games in your spare time. so the entire time, you just kept your glance on the tennis boy. 
and then you spot how his leg definitely got slightly injured during the last race, you could tell that his leg was a little uncomfortable when he was moving intensely. 
but that leg did not stop him from aiming and playing perfectly, when he ran past the crowd, it felt like a swoosh of fresh wind. midgame, the ball has gone out of court. it rolls towards you and you watch as he comes jogging to pick the ball up, then accidentally stepping on your shoes. it was a light step but he immediately looked up at you and apologized. you frown playfully and he moves closer to you. “step on me and then we can be fair.” you bite your bottom lip to suppress a dumb grin, shaking your head and gesturing him to go back into the game. 
you look to your right and see the group of girls rolling their eyes at you.  …arent they obsessed with that jeon jungkook or something…?
without a doubt, geo had won the game. you watched the large crowd of girls rush to hand the players drinks and ask for their numbers. you dragged nayeon away from the crazy amount of students that had created a crowd circling the team of boys. and you two make your way towards the convenience store on the other side of the road. 
you pause in front of the drink aisles, struggling badly to pick a drink. just as you were deciding, a hand reached out from behind you to grab two bottles of coke. “oh, sorry-” you turn your head to be faced with the familiar tennis boy. he walked slyly to the counter, paid for the drinks and handed one of the bottles to you. “sorry for stepping on you during the game.” you shake your head, mumbling that it was fine and takes the bottle with both hands carefully as if you were the one who did something wrong. 
he pauses for a second and grabs the bottle back from you before opening the bottle cap for you naturally in a swift motion. “did you not go and offer your little crush a drink?” he said with a teasing tone. you answer convincingly: “there were too many people standing around, i couldn’t squeeze in.
”oh.” he cocks an eyebrow as he slowly takes his phone out of his pocket. “i was talking to jungkook, telling him that a girl in my tennis class is interested in him, and he agreed to…give you his number.” you freeze instantly. “you want it?” he waves his phone at you. 
this is…a little awkward. to be extremely honest, you don’t want his number, but seeing his bright glassy eyes staring at you, it is a little hard to refuse to take the number. you nod slowly as you bring out your phone, and enter the number into your contacts.
on the way back to your dorm, your finger trembled to type something into the chat, all you managed to enter the chatbox was a subtle and small smiley face. 
quite awkward considering the fact that you don’t even know what this jeon jungkook looks like.. 
he replied fast, with just a casual:
‘hey’
you told him that he played really well during the game. 
jungkook thanked you and said that he had received the bag of snacks. 
well, this is a great start. but you can't help but think about what if this jeon jungkook takes an interest in you. 
when you don’t even know who he is in the first place.
the second week of tennis class, you watch the tennis boy walk onto the court with a box of gourmand chocolates. nayeon nudges you when she sees him walk towards you, and stop just in front of you. 
he looked especially calm: “he asked me to hand you this.” you reach your hand out take the pink box of chocolates and thank him with a mumble.
after class, jungkook texted you to ask if you had received the gift, and you two had some small talk. conversations about how your classes went and about his day distracted you, almost bumping into a tree. nayeon laughs as she drags you to the side before that disaster, “might as well go for this jeon jungkook if he’s brightening your day so much, y/n.” 
you lock your phone before linking arms with nayeon. you’ve never realised how often you and this jeon jungkook got along just simply by texting. this situation seems to be a little flirty since he knows that you “like” him. 
“i don’t even know him!! this was just a misunderstanding, there’s no way will i go for him.” nayeon nods her head. “of course i know it’s a misunderstanding, but it seems like it is a good misunderstanding- wait, you’re not telling me that you actually like that tennis guy…right?” 
you stop in your tracks, not saying a word. nayeon cleared the silence: “if you reckon you like the other guy, let jeon jungkook know that this was all a misunderstanding.”
 “that's exactly what i wanted to do, see?” you unlock and show her the texts. “i asked him if he wanted to go out for boba, so i could explain this to him in person, but he rejected and said he has training.” 
he rejected your offer that day, and the day after. 
neyeon jumps up when you read the “sorry, i also can’t do today.” text out: “what the heck!!!! there’s no way he’s that busy?? oh my gosh- he’s a fuckboy!! he’s a literal f-boy that can’t make enough time for all his girls-” 
excellent idea, nayeon. 
you sigh and nayeon notices how your shoulders dropped slightly.
“y/n, how about you tell the tennis guy then, cause you also have some misunderstandings with him, clear the air with him, and he can let jeon jungkook know since he obviously doesn’t have time for you”
you walk into the dining hall, only searching for the silhouette of one specific person. and there he is, sitting alone, enjoying a burger. you walk to the seat across from him, “hey.” the pair of deer eyes lands on you, and he raises an eyebrow. “what?” 
you move at the speed of a snail, taking a seat in front of him: “i have things to tell you.” 
the tennis boy puts down his meal, and slowly squeezes a sentence out his mouth. “then tell me.”
“i was talking about you because you didn’t tuck in your shirt properly the other day.”
“........i wore it like that on purpose.”
“ i was feeding that cat ages ago, like, wayyyy before you did.”
he brought the burger to his mouth, took another bite: “yup. got it.”
“okay then,” you took a deep breath, “i don’t like jeon jungkook, it was all because you misunderstood me, and thought i had a crush on you- which i do not!” you hear a soft chuckle leave his mouth. dude? “what are you laughing about.”
he swallows his bite. “nothing, you go on.”
“i’m wondering if you can go explain this to jeon jungkook….for me?” 
he looks up at you once again. “why should i go explain this to him? you should go yourself.” gosh, he is insufferable. “i really would love to! but i’ve asked to see him multiple times, but he says he is busy every single time!” 
another light chuckle. 
“don’t even laugh.” you feel humiliated, what is the matter? “i’m being deadly serious, can you literally take me seriously?” 
“do you know why you can never seem to ask him out?” the boy stares into your eyes with a hinting glance that you don’t specifically like.
you’re so confused, “no, i don’t know. but that’s literally not the point.”
“well, here’s the point.” he sips his coke and swiftly reaches into his backpack to take out his id, handing it to you. you take the id into your hands and stare at it for a while. “huh?” 
then is hits you, you don’t even know this guy's name. your eyes glance over the id, from the photo to his name..back to his id. his warm dark brown hair looking soft, his doe eyes are soft and very, very pretty. a mole at the tip of his nose, and one very visible mole perfectly under his pouty lips. did you mention he has a perfect smile? 
you almost get sucked into the photo when you realise something. huh?
you unwillingly unglue your eyes from the id and place them onto the face that is currently in front of you. he has the same smile from the id on his face right now. “what does your id mean?” he runs a hand through his perfect locks, “you still don’t know my name?”
something in you clicked. “why are you also named jeon jungkook??” this time, he lets out an even bigger laugh. “i’m the jeon jungkook.” you feel slightly sick. “.....what.”
“who did you even think jeon jungkook was then?”
“i don’t know??? i told you i’m just pretending to like this jeon jungkook person…”
jungkook raises an eyebrow, “you’re not doing much background check before pretending to like them, huh?”
his eyes still fixed on you, now with a teasing tone:” actually you misunderstood in the first place, i never thought you even had a crush on me, until you came up to me and told me that you like this jeon jungkook guy. i was utterly confused, like i thought you were using some creative way to confess to me, get my attention or something.” 
“oh my gosh i did not!” you feel so much embarrassment for yourself, even second-hand embarrassment at this point. jungkook continued: “and then i thought maybe you liked one of my friends, but just got the name wrong. but every single time when i bumped into you, you always seemed to be looking at me first, right?” 
all the blood rushed from your body to your face, and you felt your cheeks flush up. “did not!!!” 
“sure did, doll.” 
“no! see! like it’s all a misunderstanding! you have mistaken me for liking you. it’s not that deep.” you realise you’re extremely loud, causing you to lower your voice to a more softer tone.
“yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” you huff in disagreement, then you realised that you’re not only here to get these words straight but to also admit that you do like him a tad bit….not deny it completely! 
“then who’s number did you give me?”
“mine.”
“okay, so you’ve been playing me” 
“hm?”
“you knew i must’ve gotten something muddled up, but you still text me every day? you’re still giving me snacks? you’re still flirting with me?”
“that’s me being polite,” he mumbled under his breath.
“okay so you do this with everyone.”
“i don’t normally take stuff from other people, or give my number or whatever?”
“then why me?”
“since you’re the one with the biggest crush on me, so i had to be quite courteous.” 
“no. shut up.”
you can’t get yourself to be convinced that you don’t like him, just like how you couldn’t convince yourself that he doesn’t think you had a fat schoolgirl crush on him.
you don’t know what jeon jungkook wants from you! 
after that conversation, it’s like he’s even more convinced that you are in love with him. every time you enter the lunch hall, he spots you instantly, raises an eyebrow gesturing for you to sit next to the empty seat next to him. (as if saying: “here’s your chance to sit next to me, babe.”) when you ran into him in the campus library, he would knit his brows and playfully ask something like “how did you know i was going to be here?”
as if you’re tracking his location or something!!
the next basketball game came very soon. the day of the basketball game you had received a text from him giving you the time of the game and what court it was going to be at bright and early. as if he was certain you were going to go, douche. 
well…that afternoon you showed up with a baseball cap, trying to hide in the crowd. there were way more people this time, how is that even possible? when you got to lay your eyes on him, he was on his phone in the corner, while his teammates were warming up. a little delusional thought popped up in your head. he’s probably sending you a text message…? a notification sound ruined your thought. you feel the corners of your mouth slowly raise as you pulled out your phone from the butt pocket of your jeans.
“Hey! It’s Duolingo.
Make your screen time count. Take a quick Japanese lesson.”
what. you feel a little irritated as you lock your screen and before aggressively shoving your phone back into your pocket, you raise your head to search for jungkook when you meet eyes with him. you didn’t even have to search for him, he was already eyeing you.  his eyes teasingly dart from you to your phone in your hand. dude. 
you were fantasizing about yourself receiving a “where are you” text so you can hit him with a simple and petty  “i’m not coming”!!!!
he went straight into warming up after that short exchanging looks with you, one shot and the crowd of girls starts cheering like there’s no tomorrow. try hard. attention seeker. show off. you think to yourself when you shoot him a dirty glance from the crowd. it’s like he catches that look instantly, jungkook hands the ball to his teammates, and goes back to sitting on the bench in silence. you smile to yourself.
the game finishes and you drag nayeon to sprint out of the court before the herd of people makes it extra difficult. this time, another notification.
jung fking kook : group dinner, u and ur friend wanna come?
you stop in your tracks and text back: nah, i dont even know your friends.
text sent. you and nayeon start walking back when footsteps of someone running up from behind distract you. a large hand grabs your arm and turns you around in a swift motion. 
there he stood, still slightly glowy after the intense game. his eyes looked extra soft and bright under the road light. “let’s go together?” 
how can you ever reject him?
you, nayeon and jungkook went to a hot pot eatery nearby, and you wondered the entire way there if would be so darn awkward when you saw his friends. but thank god, they were way too energetic, to the point they almost didn’t even see you three walk in. jungkook insisted on introducing you to his friends, making sure each and one of his friends greeted you. you leaned closer to him and muttered “how do you know my name?” he whispered back. “not everyone is like you y/n.”
that’s when you figured, maybe he did not tell his friends about the ridiculous things you’ve said and done, since all of them greeted you and nayeon with large smiles. that calmed you down a whole lot. except the blonde boy, park jimin. he seemed like he wanted to jokingly say something, but swallowed his words when jungkook gave him a good glance. 
after dinner, nayeon made some excuses and said she had to leave early while shooting you many knowing looks and childish eyebrow raises. you stand outside of the restaurant while the boys pay the check. this night has never felt so calm on your skin before. you wanted to say bye to jungkook before leaving. but the second the boys came out of the restaurant, the same warm hand placed itself on your arm. “i’ll walk you back.” 
okay. it’s only like 5 minutes but whatever.
there were more people than you expected on the road. usually, you will not pay any attention to the people passing by but maybe because you were walking with jungkook tonight, it seemed like every goddamn couple in the world was next to you two. and everyone recognised jeon jungkook. of course, they did.
he grabbed your hand gently and decided to walk into a dark alleyway. you’ve never realised how nice his hands felt wrapped around your own. in the darkness, you can hear his faint breathing next to you. “lulu used to hunt for mice here.” he broke the comfortable silence. 
you never knew he started addressing her as lulu too. 
“and she had a lover that lived in one of these houses, they used to hang out here,” you added.
“y/n, how do you even know that?”
“i told you i was feeding lulu way before you.” you comment, this is totally a competition now.
you hear him lightly laugh in the darkness. 
the 5-minute walk took at least double the time to get there, some streetlights outside your dorm are old and broken, causing a dim-lit atmosphere. you spot a couple on the side of the street making out. if you walked even closer, you could probably even hear the sickening sounds. jungkook looked extra calm as if he could not hear anything, he walked you to the door and spoke. “you’re here.”
you don’t know what to reply to that. 
“right. i’m home.”
and he turned and walked away.
???
“that’s it?”
“that’s fucking it?:”
nayeon just opened a bag of barbeque chips, getting ready to hear about everything that went down, preparing to be surprised. she sighed to herself. she didn’t even get to get comfortable on your bed!
“he didn’t say anything? you two didn’t even hug?”
you thought to yourself before answering, “we talked about lulu. and that's it.”
“oh my days.” nayeon shakes her head in disapproval “he introduced you to his friends, what is in that little head of his?!” 
“i genuinely don’t know.” you feel a twinge of sadness growing in your chest, “maybe we overanalyzed this.” 
if this is what it feels like to like somebody, you’d rather stay single for the rest of your life. 
you decided to have a good, relaxing shower to get your mind off things. when getting into your bed, you receive a text. 
jung fking kook: breakfast tmrw?
you did not feel like replying, leaving the message read. 
jung fking kook: or lunch? both?
you felt so aggravated, your fingers moving so fast to type your thoughts out without thinking about what you wanted to say.
y/n: you’re so bloody confusing, are you currently demonstrating to me how a guy acts when they know a girl likes them or are you showing me what a guy does when they actually like someone? because this is getting so damn tiring for me, jungkook.
no emojis. you’re letting him know this is bloody serious. 
the grey typing icon pops up from the bottom of the screen, then disappears. 
audio message.
you almost jump off your bed to grab your earphones. popping the earbuds into your ears, you hear the familiar voice. before the voice could even warm your heart up, it felt like a cold splash of water in your face instead.
“hey, look im so sorry, i just- i just don’t know how to tell you this.” 
rejection tastes great, doesn’t it!
another audio message followed up. you disconnected your earphones, you do not have time for this rejection anymore.
jung fking kook: listen to it.
y/n: i’m tired. goodnight.
after typing the “good night” message out, you felt your curiosity eating you up. you pop an earbud into your ear, and press play.
“you’re correct, this is exactly what i’m doing. what a guy does when they genuinely like somebody.” you gasp and before you could even reply, an incoming call from jungkook comes in. 
“hi.”
“hi.”
“did you open it?”
you didn’t know how to respond. you panicked. are you going to say yeah i heard you just say you like me or are you going to play dumb like no bro what did u say haha
“yeah.”
“i knew it.”
“okay jungkook.”
“i’m downstairs.”
“you’re what?!”
“yeah. come down.”
jeon jungkook is going to be the death of you. (end)
here is my masterlist if you want to enjoy some more of my writing!
and until next time, kae.
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livinahey · 7 months
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Random astro obs bcs y not
Warning ⚠️ mentions of abuse and trauma
scorpio luminaries & luminaries aspect to pluto (especially harsh aspect) almost be always know when something/someone is gonna do no good to you. If they warn you ab something then just follow them. Bcs what they say is scarily often end up being true
Also, if from the first meet these natives STRONGLY dislike you even though you didnt do anything then yeah.... Youre the problem lol. No matter if youre everyone crush, everyone sweetheart, or whatever is that. Again, like I said before, they seems to always know when something/someone is not good
These natives can also scared of themselves bcs of this
I think we admire ppl who have our mars sign as their sun sign
Sag sun with water moon women makes the loyal partner 🥺🤧 be it business partner, in friendship, or as a lover. Don't leave them.
When you see mars square pluto native gets bad mood or even angry.... RUN
Bcs they can be so violent at that time and you dont want to see that
Same goes to cap moon 💀
Women with moon square bml (black moon lilith) always have the best glow ups ✨✨🤧 im so proud (and bit jealous lol) of you dear
Mercury in leo degrees (5, 17, 29) being sooooo charming. They be say "hi" only and you already weak(???) lol
Leo venus 🤝 cant go a day without boasting what they love, be it their hobbies, their job, their loved ones, their pet, or even the place where they live lol. So passionate
I'm not surprised if theyre the one that have many posts on their social media account
Ppl with big 6 at 6 degrees (virgo degree) can be seen as villain
Moon conjunct jupiter synastry: when the moon person getting humiliated/disrespect, the jupiter person be defending the moon person. Also, the moon person can have soft spot for the jupiter person
Natal aspects to sun i like are sun conjunct mars and sun-pluto any major aspects. The word "sexy" is literally made for them lol.
TW ABUSE
women with cap or cancer mars plsssss check again the man you choose to date or even marry. Bcs i often see these women end up experience being abused severely by their man in their relationship. Men often being intimidated by these women yet still wanna date them. These women do dating man that seems cool and amazing or even adorable person outside BUT UNFORTUNATELY it turns out that the man are the worst person ever. At worst case, the man's family dislike these women due to jealousy towards them. No matter how bad these women get treated by the man, the man's family will still defend the man and treated these women as if theyre the problem 💔
Also, these women can dealing with fucking crazy men that cannot accept being rejected by them atleast once in their life. Scary af
Gemini moon/mars are naturally funny without even trying ✋😭
Sag/pisces rising 🤝 always have ppl crushing over them and even become worshipping them
Libra rising are so beautiful and it seems unbelievable
Cancer rising and their terrible mood swing 🤕 yet still look like the most calm and unbothered person ever
Mercury-bml aspects culture is having what they say being questioned. And if they have sun-uranus aspects too then.... Good luck trying to understand them 🥴
Mercury-bml aspects is underrated funny placements imo. They be say questionable thing but idk i find it funny tho 😩
Scorpio rising and having traumatic experience/memories when they young that seems keep haunting them even until they become old :(
Also they often get disappointed by their family :( they can give all their family members a mountain of gold, being so kind to them to the point they forgetting their own needs and this scorpio rising still getting unappreciated & bad treatment. PLS APPRECIATE SCORPIO RISING IN UR LIFE !!❤‍🩹🫂 they are one of sincere people that often attracts evil eye that doesnt wanna see them being success
Whats with earth rising and having this disgusted/judging look 🥲
They can look at you normally and you will feel that theyre judging you even if they arent
Sag rising and leo rising 🤝 having beef with eachother
Same goes to taurus sun x gemini sun
Cap sun x virgo sun friendship be the weird yet funny pair
Every leo placement always have virgo placement in their life
They can have love-hate relationship with eachother tho lol.
And the same goes to every cap placement that always have aries placement in their life
You either love the opposite sex that has the same mars sign as you OR going "mehh" of them
Earth rising 🤝 secured financially. Maybe you never catched them worry ab not having money to save their life
Hey thank you for reading this so far!! I do these obs not bcs I wanna gain followers or what but bcs I found these things give me joy hehe ✌🏻 english isnt my first language so apologize for any grammar mistakes. be safe out there!! 🫂✨
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vivwritesfics · 7 months
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"He Does Know"
The requested part two to "He Can't Know" It can be read as a follow on or as a stand alone.
I'm, maybe, 10000% sure that my ankle is broken so I've been sat in my bed all day trying to write this (no, my ankle definitely isn't broken. I twisted it when rather drunk last night, but it's an already bad ankle so I am in so much pain :')
Part One
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When Y/N Wolff told her father about her relationship, she fully expected him to go to the Ferrari garage, bat in hand. But he didn't. Y/N was actually frightened about how calm he was.
The next race was Monaco, Charles' home race. The only people who knew about their relationship was them, and Y/N's dad. It was all a question of what to do next.
Whatever that next step was, Monaco was the perfect place to do it.
The Wednesday before the race was when Y/N arrived in Monaco. Her father hadn't booked her a room in a hotel this time. This time around, she was to stay with her boyfriend.
It was weird. When Y/N first arrived in Monaco and Charles had somebody pick her up, it was awkward. When she made her way to his apartment, it was awkward. When Charles let her in, it was awkward.
"I can't believe this is your first time in my apartment," he said as Y/N sat at the kitchen island.
When he handed her a glass of wine, Y/N gratefully accepted it. "It's really nice," she answered him, looking around. "I'm really happy to be here."
She really was, she was just having a hard time expressing it. It was weird, having their relationship so out in the open. It was weird, not hiding away in the empty corridors. It was weird, being with him and not have to hide away.
It took Y/N an hour or two to properly settle in. Charles helped speed that process along. The sat together on the couch, watching a movie that didn't much need their attention. By the end of it Y/N had a tongue down her throat and couldn't tell you what the movie was about.
"Where do we go from here?" She asked when he finally pulled away.
"What do you mean, mon ange?"
"I mean, now that my dad knows, do we announce it to the world? Do we post it on our social media? Do we just tell the grid?" She sat back beside him, laying her head on his shoulder.
Charles went red. "Well, Max already knows," he confessed.
That settled it then, they were going to tell the grid.
***
Y/N and Charles couldn't yet walk around the paddock hand in hand. They weren't yet ready to be seen by the press together. So, Y/N and Charles resorted to telling the grid individually.
As Charles went around to Red Bull and McLaren, he got congratulated and clapped on the pack. As Y/N told Mercedes and Williams, her father watched over her shoulder, glaring as people congratulated her. They couldn't hug her like they did Charles, not if they wanted to survive the wrath of her dad.
When the entire grid knew, it was like a weight had been taken off Y/N's shoulders. Not a huge weight, but it definitely helped. Now, they just had to get up the courage to tell the rest of the world.
It was funny, wasn't it? How life works out sometimes? If Y/N hadn't resented her father so much, she never would have tried to reconcile with him and she never should have met Charles.
It was all she was thinking about during the race. That, and him. It was her first time at the Monaco Grand Prix, the first time in his home country.
Watching the race was quite an experience. Y/N spent the race with her nails between her teeth, biting them out of anxiety. Monaco was maybe the most anxiety-inducing race on the calendar. As Y/N watched Charles moving around the tight corners, she was sweating.
No podium in Monaco for Charles, but that was expected. His curse, if you will. But still, Y/N celebrated. And, as she celebrated his win hidden away in the dark corner of the Mercedes garage, she realised she was ready.
She was ready to go public. She was ready to tell the world about her love for Charles Leclerc. If it only meant she got to celebrate his races with him.
Still, this was something Y/N wanted to go to her father about. Maybe even ring Susie and ask for her advice. And definitely talk to Charles about it.
Later that evening, tucked away in his home in Monaco, Y/N and Charles talked. They were wrapped in a duvet, the windows opened as they laid together, bare skin on bare skin. "You were amazing today," she said as she ran her fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp with her nails. "I love watching you race."
"I love knowing that you're there watching me. I love that everybody on the track with me knows I have the most stunning girl out there," he replied and kissed the top of her head.
Y/N sat up and Charles sat up with her. "I just wish we could celebrate together."
He looked at her with wide eyes. "You mean, tell the world?"
She nodded.
That evening, Y/N posted to her Instagram story. It was a soft launch, one of the softest launches most F1 fans had ever seen. It was just a picture of his bed, the Ferrari hat on the end of it being a dead giveaway. 
Y/N watched as the fans went feral. It was incredible to watch. The tweets and twitter mentions were non stop, the comments on her latest Instagram post (which had nothing to do with Charles) were going crazy.
Charles was next. He pulled up his Instagram on his phone, which was already going crazy, and moved to post a picture. It was cute, one they’d taken in the hotel room during the Australian Grand Prix. Charles holding Y/N on the couch mid cuddle.
The internet went insane.
They got congratulations from their friends in comments and private messages. Even Susie left a comment on Charles’ picture. And then she sent Y/N a message, asking why she was the last to hear about. Of course Y/N had to send back an apology to her step mother, accompanied by a candid of her and Charles
Now, the world knew. It was freeing. Y/N could express her love without fear. There was no telling what her father would do when she swapped her Mercedes hat for a Ferrari one.
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s6ngbird · 3 months
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only you — felix catton ᯓ★
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⊹₊⋆ warnings — nsfw, p in the v, pretty much no plot, unprotected sex, fingering (f. recieving), overstimulation, lmk if i missed anything
⊹₊⋆ pairing — felix catton x fem!reader
⊹₊⋆ a/n — sorry for not posting for so long! exams were kicking my ass but im back so i will be wrapping up flowers from beneath soon
masterlist | bc: @cafekitsune
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summers at saltburn were always delightful and there never seemed to be a break from the drama
especially this year, as felix invited his new friend, oliver over for the summer
you heavily disliked him, believing that he thought too much of himself and believed he could have felix wrapped around his finger
this was not the case though, as you were the one who had felix wrapped around their finger, practically convincing him to do whatever you desired
you and felix had been friends for a few years, but felix never followed the rules of friendship and liked to make out or fuck you whenever he pleased
it did bother you sometimes, since he would be so chill with fucking all these girls that it made you feel like you were just another doll in his ever-growing collection of people who were obsessed with him
you weren't obsessed with felix, but you craved his attention and validation, wanting his praise whenever you could get it
venetia noticed this first, laughing and teasing you about it but then it wasn't so funny anymore when she found out felix and you liked to fuck
but you couldn't think about fucking felix now, oliver had just arrived a few days prior and he was already taking up all of felix's time and energy 
you constantly got bad vibes from oliver, but felix never seemed to notice, causing you to confide in venetia and farleigh 
venetia was a bit hesitant but farleigh agreed with you, calling oliver a creep and that he probably wanted to fuck felix himself
this left you unhappy, already upset from the attention being dragged away from you, but especially now that felix barely batted an eye in your direction
all of this was finally resolved though, during one of felix's many parties
you were engaging in a mindless conversation with some random guy, who was obviously flirting with you but you pretended to be oblivious to it
you felt a weight on your shoulders, looking up to see felix draped over you, holding his cigarette and yelling at farleigh 
the guy who was previously talking with you gave felix an annoyed glare but left as soon as felix's attention returned to you
felix looked at him confused but shrugged it off and laughed, sitting down on the couch and pulling you on him
felix started placing sloppy kisses on your neck, uncoordinated and whiskey filled kisses
“felix you are so fucking drunk” you say, holding your cup away from him as he tried to grab it, but since his arms were freakishly large, he grabbed it with ease, holding the cup to your lips and pouring it down your throat until it was all done
“there all done! now i can take you upstairs” felix said, getting up and grabbing your hand to try and drag you with him
“felix no” you replied, exhausted and still upset that he had barely paid attention to you all week
he pouted and shrugged, muttering that it wouldn't be a problem, leaving you confused until he grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing 
you decided against fighting him, being glad that he finally was paying some attention to you and allowed him to carry you upstairs to his room
he placed you on his bed, smiling and stripping himself of his clothes besides his boxers, climbing over you and kissing you 
it felt good to finally have felix's attention after the week, getting to feel his lips on yours, and his tongue exploring your mouth certainly was not unwelcome 
you allowed him to unzip your dress, helping him slip it off your body as you two continued to kiss one another like starving animals
“whyd'd ya ignore me all week?” felix said between kisses, starting to move his lips down to your throat to suck hard as you moaned
“you were ignoring me!” you yelped as felix smacked your thigh and sucked on your breast hard to silence you
“i was not, i kept trying to get your attention but you only wanted to pay attention to venetia and farleigh” he said angrily, his sweet facade melting away as he pulled down your panties, ripping them off of you to reveal your soaking cunt
he grinned at the sight, not hesitating to dive between your legs and lick up all your arousal 
you moaned as his tongue nudged inside your hole, going fully in and then backing out, only to slam itself back inside
you tried to grip his hair for support as you continued to moan but felix slapped your hands away, looking up at you with a warning look
eventually he switched his tongue for his fingers, continuing a brutal pace as you took your bud in his mouth, sucking hard when you least expected it, bring you to your first orgasm of the night
he continued to pump his fingers into you, slapping your ass or thigh every time you tried to push him away from your pussy
“i'm not stopping until i'm satisfied with you, after all that torture you put me through this week, it's only fair” he said hoarsely after you had came at least three more times, everytime complaining about how overstimulated you were
he got off of you and you silently pleaded with whatever that was watching over the two of you that he would be done and just cuddle with you
unfortunately no one seemed to answer your prayer since he got back on you, stripped of his boxers and lining up his hard cock with your hole, the precum spilling as he aligned himself 
he slid into you with little resistance, sighing as his cock found home in your warm cunt
he stayed there for a little while, savoring the feeling while you continued to whine and push at his shoulders
he finally started to move, setting a rough pace as you moaned, grabbing his shoulders as you cried
“aw baby don't cry, i promise after this we'll be done” he said, kissing your tears and silencing your whimpers with kisses
you felt so overwhelmed, crying from the feeling of being overstimulated but also moaning from the pleasure coming from felix's cock
“you ok love?” felix says after a while, kissing you once more after you had doing nothing but moaning and crying but suddenly stopped
you nodded, tightening around his cock as you felt your fourth or fifth orgasm approaching
“atta girl, come for me” he said, his hot breath right in your ear and that's all it took for you to come undone on him, coming hard and gripping onto his shoulders like he would disappear 
he moaned at the feeling, kissing your neck and letting out praises between his moans
“gonna come in you, gonna make you mine” he said, thrusting once more and coming inside of you, his cum coating your walls
he panted, staying inside of you for a little longer before pulling out and stuffing his cum back inside of you, eliciting a squeal as you were still overstimulated 
“sorry baby, can't help but do it, you're mine now” he said with a laugh, grinning at your shocked expression
“no more girls? or guys? not even oliver?” you said, confused by his words due to his playboy nature
“no one, not even oliver” he said, holding you close to him and kissing your head
“only you love”
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primrosebow · 2 months
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YES PLEASE, part 2 😻 I would also LOVE to see his legs spread for us... Or maybe we forcefully spread them :3 either way I love you're art it's so hot, Lucifer's so hot. Just NEED to manhandle him 😞
-💌 anon (idk if that's been used, if so then 🐕 anon)
AH! MY KNIGHT! YOU WILL BE REWARDED HANDSOMELY FOR YOUR COURAGE IN STEPPING INTO MY INBOX!
_-->Lucifer x reader // pt 2🍎
//
!content warnings!: nsfw, edging (AAAHAHAHAA!!!! THE FIRST KINK NAME THAT I ACTUALLY FIGURED OUT! it's pretty self explanatory, but I'm proud of me so shut) probably other kinks but, again, nun. andddd a wee lil more writing compared to my other posts
Shoutout to 💌 anon‼️‼️
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//
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//
The air is thick with tension as lucifer catches his breath, tears running down his now hot face. He's completly oblivious to the atmosphere, however- he's too deep in pleasure to even realize what he'd just done.
You had explicitly told him not to cum, going as far as edging him for the last few minutes, but, of course he couldn't keep it down, in the same way he hadn't lowered his teasing, which was the exact behavior that had gotten him into this predicament. You see; Lucifer is honestly one of the best you could have ever dreamt for, wealthy, stunningly gorgeous, funny, patient- wait. Scratch that last part. He's not patient at all. When he wants something, he'll do whatever it takes to get it. And that time, it was to get you to have him as you pleased.
You honestly didn't know what had gotten into him, he'd been teasing you for the last several days with no signs of giving up -what was his goal with this?- you thought, whenever he'd litter kisses along your neck and imediatelly turn around and speed off to do god knows what. Whenever he'd lay on your lap and arch into you, displaying his body for you, only to turn around and act like nothing happened within a split second, even touching your sensitive spots and acting oblivious. Whenever- actually, you could go on all day long. And right now, he'd finally realized what he did.
His expression flows from one of relief into one of guilt. He turns his head from you, snapping his eyes down to your hand over his still painfully hard dick before dragging them back up when the sight alone had made him twitch in your hands.
His thighs had been strongly pressed against your arm before you used your other hand to make Lucifer look at you. He looked frustrated, ashamed, confused- why all of that? Because this wasn't the outcome he expected. He thought you'd have your way with him, bend him over the nearest flat surface and fuck him out of his mind, he thought you'd overstimulate him until he couldn't think of another thing other than the sting of his drawn out pleasure, thought you'd be rough with him.
But no, you were gentle.
With your actions, at least. Your words were pure venom. "You want to get treated like some desperate slut, huh?" "You look down on those sinners but you're no fucking better." "You're already drooling? My god you're pathetic." "You haven't earned my touch- much less the right to cum. You've been nothing but an inconvenience, you're lucky I'm even doing this" as you so gently jerked him off with the most delicate touches, holding his hand, ghosting your lips over his neck and moved the hair out of his face. The juxtaposition from the two extremes of your words and actions drove him insane- he just couldn't deal with it, you were tearing down his whole being by the second- and eventually, he couldn't hold himself anymore.
You don't spare him a word as you push his legs apart and watch them tremble to stay open for you as rushed apologies and poor excuses left his mouth. Before he could continue with his apologies, you roughly rub your fingers over his tip, earning a broken, fucked out moan from him, his tail a dead giveaway of his enjoyment of the new treatment.
"Is this what you wanted?" Was your unamused response. You kept going at the much rougher pace you had just now set, his eyes fought to remain open as more tears flow out of his red, glowing eyes; he wasn't prepared for such intensity after what you had put him through "aah- mh- w-wait -oh goodness- please! Have mercy!" His pleading falls on deaf ears as you continue at your current movement. The king of hell had his pride completly broken, and you weren't even close to being done with him.
Ah, seems like the two of you have a long night ahead of you
//
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//
I just found out about weevils I am not the same woman I was 10 minutes ago. I love these stupid little guys. I love them so much. I love weevils.
Sorry for dying I'm back tho with like a truckload of stuff in mind to tell yall abt. Also I don't proofread or anything this is like as raw as it gets.
Ermm @ ing @bigfatbimbo because this mf into lucifer FOR REAL💪💪
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eideticallys · 11 months
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I Don't Mind If It's You
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pairing: spencer reid x reader
summary: maybe styling spencer’s hair should be an everyday thing for both of you.
genre: fluff
word count: 1081
author's notes: i missed spencer's long hair so i decided to write a self-indulging fic about playing with his hair. also posted on ao3 (spencereids).
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SPENCER HAS ALWAYS FOREGONE STYLING HIS HAIR IN THE MORNINGS. He always thought as long as he could just flick the strands of hair behind his ear, he was good to go. And besides, he had a hair tie with him. He could just simply tie it back—no more pesky hair in his line of sight.
He has always foregone styling his hair in the mornings until he met you. While he was big on practicality & “Hairstyling is a waste of time”!” You were the exact opposite. 
It’s quite a funny thing to think about. Spencer, a certified germaphobe, was uncaring about how his hair looked, whether it was kept well today or it looked like a bird’s nest the next. And then, there’s you. You’re not a germaphobe though you pride yourself as a chic woman. Not a law enforcement job could stop you from looking like you came straight out of a magazine.
You always found the time to make sure your hair looked pretty and presentable before heading to work. In your free time—quite rare for FBI agents—you liked to read magazines for trendy new styles to try or watch videos online for tutorials.
And today was definitely your lucky day. No case. Everyone is off for the holidays.
Unfortunately, that’s where your luck ended.
You got injured during your last case. Your arm is in a cast, unable to move it around like you wanted it to. Fortunately, your hand was still good & thankfully, uninjured, unlike the rest of your arm. So, although you were free to lounge around your home, you couldn’t try that one hairstyle you found in one of those Cosmopolitan articles.
Until a genius idea came to you like a light bulb turning on.
“Hey, Spence?”
You asked your boyfriend, who was busy skimming through what seemed like his third or fourth book of the day.
He’s so cute when he’s all focused like this, you thought. 
He hummed in response, still couldn’t tear his eyes away from the pages.
“I have a favor to ask you.”
This made Spencer look up from what he was reading, staring at you questioningly. You were the type of person who never asked for help or favors—unless needed. You often disagreed with him because he would prefer it if you told him whatever problem you had. Although he was a genius and could help with you, he knew lending an ear to someone was already a big help. 
"You know I can't move my arm around, right?" You asked him, to which he nodded in agreement. 
"Yeah, is it itchy?” He asked, about to go off on one of his notable tangents. “It takes around six to eight weeks for broken bones in casts to heal. Also, around that time, the injured area starts to itch.”
You nodded fondly at the man, not minding a little bit that he went off-topic. You love listening to his mini-lectures—not only do you learn something new, but you’d also hear the soft tone of his voice. One thing about Spencer is he had a pretty voice. You could listen to him talk for hours.
“There are five main reasons why your casts itch—nerves, trapped moisture, immune response, dead skin cells, and body hair.” Spencer continued tattling. “Nerves cause itchiness because the nerve endings in the skin may fire as the cast begins to harden and dry, sending itch-inducing signals to the brain. As for the itchiness being an immune response, it ensues when the body perceives the plaster of Paris or fiberglass as an outside invader. Histamines may be released. Itching, redness, and swelling can be brought on by released histamine.” 
With his excitement to share facts about how broken bones heal, you couldn’t help but laugh at how dorky but adorable your boyfriend was, which made him scrunch his nose.
“I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
“You are, but I don’t mind. I like it.”
At this, Spencer’s ears started turning pink, making you chuckle some more. He scratched the back of his neck in shyness as you took it as a clue to tell him what you needed from him.
“My arm isn’t itchy, babe,” you began, “What I need from you is your hair.”
“My what?” 
“Your hair.” 
It was your turn to get shy. You knew Spencer wasn’t a big fan of having his hair messed with. It’s not that he hates it. He just doesn’t like messing with it that much—minus the occasional flicking behind his ear and simply tying it back when it gets irritating.
“I—um,” you explained further, trying to fight against the embarrassment you were feeling. This was your boyfriend you’re talking to!  “I saw this cute new hairstyle online and I wanted to try it but you know, with the broken arm and all…” You trailed off.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” You chuckled humorlessly, beyond embarrassed at this point.
This was such a bad idea. Why did you even bring it up? You were about to start berating yourself, ready to hop onto the next train and create a new identity for yourself, when you noticed Spencer shuffling towards you, sitting on the floor between your legs.
“You want me to style your hair?” You asked incredulously, still can’t believe Spencer would let you play with his hair.
“Of course.” He replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world 
Like it was an everyday thing for anyone—you—to do his hair.
“I don’t mind my hair being played with if it’s you.”
At that, you blushed as you started combing through his soft curls with your fingers. Spencer merely smiled softly at the gesture and closed his eyes.
“Y/N?” Spencer asked quietly.
“Yeah?” You asked back as you started braiding his hair. “What is it, Spence?”
“I love you.” He muttered. “I may not like it when people touch my hair out of nowhere. But if it’s you, I don’t mind having you do it for the rest of my life.”
You gasped at his sudden confession and were about to say those three words back when you felt it.
Spencer planted a kiss on your injured arm and pulled your other one down, so he could be face-to-face with you. And before you knew it, his lips brushed against yours, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks.
Maybe styling Spencer’s hair should be an everyday thing for both of you.
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