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#having lost some weight in the few years its been. it hasnt helped in any way.
boatemboys · 4 months
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little fucked up actually that a few years ago when trying to get my back problems diagnosed. a doctor told me that my back was never going to get better and to fix it i (14 years old, average weight) needed to lose weight
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hwangsies · 3 years
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zephyr
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(n) a gentle breeze
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pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)
genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha
warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking
wc: 10k
enjoy <3
-
September
"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.
You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.
And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.
You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.
"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.
"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.
"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.
"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.
"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.
She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.
"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"
"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"
"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.
"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.
You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.
"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.
She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"
So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.
Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.
"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"
Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.
"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"
"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.
"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.
"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.
"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.
"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.
"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.
"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"
"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.
"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.
"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.
"i dont kno-"
"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.
"you know chris" you rebuttal.
"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.
"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.
"please please please" she jumps once more.
You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.
"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.
"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.
"lia" you groan.
"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"
"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.
"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"
A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"
-
The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.
Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.
“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.
She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.
“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”
“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.
“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.
You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.
The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”
“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.
The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.
“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.
Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.
You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.
“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.
“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.
“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.
“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.
Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.
One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.
Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.
“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.
“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.
“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.
“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.
“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“
“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.
He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.
His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.
“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.
“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.
“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”
“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”
“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.
“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..
“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”
“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”
Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.
“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.
You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.
“I bet” you joke with him.
“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.
“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.
“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.
“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.
“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”
“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink
“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.
“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”
He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.
-
Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.
Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.
“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.
Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.
“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.
“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.
He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”
“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.
Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.
“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.
“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.
Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.
Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.
Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.
Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.
“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.
“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.
“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.
“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.
“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.
“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.
“yea” he nods.
“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.
“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”
“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.
“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”
“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.
“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.
“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.
“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.
Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.
“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.
“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.
“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”
He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.
You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.
“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.
“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.
“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.
“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.
“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.
“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.
You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.
“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.
“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.
“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.
You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 
His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.
“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.
“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.
“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”
“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.
“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,
“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.
Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.
After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.
“where are they going?” you huff.
“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.
You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.
“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.
“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”
“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.
You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.
“any reason why?” he leans back again.
“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”
“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.
You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.
“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.
You open your mouth to speak but-
“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.
“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.
“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.
“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.
“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.
His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.
“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.
“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.
“what the-” he splutters laughingly.
“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.
He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.
“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.
“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.
“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.
“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.
“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.
The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.
You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"
He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.
"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.
You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.
His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.
You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.
He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.
You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.
“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.
“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.
Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.
“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.
Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.
“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.
“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.
“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.
For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.
“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.
-
This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.
But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.
You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.
A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.
But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.
You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.
Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.
“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.
“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.
“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.
“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.
You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.
“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“
“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.
“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”
You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.
“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.
“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.
“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.
“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.
 October
You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.
When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.
lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm
You roll your eyes, typical you think.
you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm
You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.
lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm
You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.
“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.
“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.
“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.
“hi” you smile timidly.
“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.
“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”
“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”
“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.
“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.
You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.
“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.
You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.
-
“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.
Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”
“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.
After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.
“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.
“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.
“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.
“why?” you ask back.
“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.
“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.
“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.
“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”
You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.
“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.
He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”
You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”
“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.
You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.
Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.
“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.
A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.
He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.
You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.
“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?
Yes. Yes you do.
So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.
“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.
“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.
Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.
He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.
“now who��s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.
He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.
“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.
You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.
“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.
He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.
“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.
“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.
“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.
“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.
“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.
Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.
“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.
-
“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.
Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.
“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.
“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.
“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.
“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.
“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.
“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“
“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”
You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.
“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.
“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.
“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.
“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.
“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.
“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.
“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.
“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.
“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”
You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”
She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”
“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.
“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.
“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”
“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.
“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.
“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.
“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.
“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.
Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”
  November
 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.
You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.
“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..
You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.
“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.
You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.
His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.
“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.
You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.
“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.
You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.
“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.
After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.
You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.
“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.
“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.
He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”
“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.
“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.
“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.
You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.
“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.
Woah, wait.
You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.
Mayday. Abort mission.
“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.
You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.
“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”
“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.
“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”
“shut up” you chuckle.
“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.
“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.
You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.
“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.
“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.
"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.
“alright, see ya” you shrug."
And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?
You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.
“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.
“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.
“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.
“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.
“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.
“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”
“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”
“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.
 -
 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.
“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.
“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…
“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.
“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.
“wow, hi” you hug him back.
Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.
You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.
By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.
After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.
His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.
“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”
He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.
“so do you” he grins.
“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”
“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.
“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.
“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”
���I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.
“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.
“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.
“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.
“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.
“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.
“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.
“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.
“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.
“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.
You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.
“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.
“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.
-
 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.
“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.
“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.
“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.
Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.
Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.
You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.
“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.
“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.
“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.
“on me” he smiles down at you.
“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.
Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.
“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.
“who?” you ask curiously.
“tim” he grins.
“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.
“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.
“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip
“what?” you chuckle.
“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”
“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”
“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.
“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.
“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.
“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.
“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.
“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.
“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”
“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.
“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.
“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.
“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.
“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.
You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.
When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.
You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.
When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.
That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.
“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”
But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.
However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.
They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.
Oh.
There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.
“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.
The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-
“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.
“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.
You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.
“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.
You force out a smile.
“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.
“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.
“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.
“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.
“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.
“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.
Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.
“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.
“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.
“true” jisung quips.
“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.
“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.
You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.
“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.
“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.
“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.
“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.
“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.
“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”
“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.
“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.
“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.
You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.
“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.
“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.
After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”
“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.
“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.
“alight see you later” chan nods.
“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.
“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.
 December
”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“
“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”
You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.
“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.
“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”
“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.
-
You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.
“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.
Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.
Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.
“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.
You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.
“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.
After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.
The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.
Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.
“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”
“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.
“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.
“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.
“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.
“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.
A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.
“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.
“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”
“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.
“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.
You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 
A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.
You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.
He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.
“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.
“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.
“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.
A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.
The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.
“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.
“nice” he grins, nodding at you.
“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.
“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.
“from the front row, baby”
-
a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)
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taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie
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right here, right now - a seblos oneshot <3
i give you an unexpectedly long fic in which seb finds out that carlos hasnt seen hsm 2 and 3 and decides that he needs to fix it - basically all of their reactions to the different scenes in the movies + them being cute
“So how are you and Ricky just together again all of a sudden?” Carlos asked. He and all of the other theatre kids were at the cast party and he, along with Seb, had cornered Nini to get caught up on what was going on between their Gabriella and Troy.
“It all sort of made sense again. We just realized that we should stop dwelling on mistakes from the past and live in the moment,” Nini said, “right here, right now, you know?” She laughed and Seb pointed at her as if to say, ‘nice one!’ Carlos just glanced between the two of them in confusion, nodding slowly.
Seb turned to Carlos and raised his eyebrows at him. “Troy and Gabriella?” he suggested. Carlos still didn’t see the connection.
“Treehouse?” Nini supplied, giving Carlos the same questioning look. He was even more confused.
“High School Musical 3?” Seb finally spelled it out for Carlos, who just nodded as if it suddenly all made sense.
Carlos went red and bit his lip, admitting, “Ok guys, don’t kill me but… I haven’t actually seen High School Musical 3 in its entirety.” Seb and Nini’s jaws dropped, and they looked at each other and then back at Carlos. “Or 2, for that matter,” Carlos added, avoiding the eyes of his appalled friend and boyfriend.
“Carlos, are you kidding right now?” Nini asked.
“I mean, I’ve seen lots of clips!” Carlos offered in defense, but she and Seb wouldn’t accept it.
“Babe, how on earth did Miss Jenn let you choreograph the show if you hadn’t fully experienced the franchise?” Seb asked, as if these were clearly mutually exclusive circumstances.
Carlos frowned and responded, “well, I have seen Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure!”
Seb rolled his eyes and smiled reluctantly. “Ok, so I guess you’re forgiven a little bit there-“
Nini, who was not so lenient, interrupted and pointed out, “no, but minus points for ignoring the chronology!”
Seb pointed at and turned to Nini, adding, “oh, good point. Ok, we need to fix this right away, Carlos.”
Carlos laughed and nodded in defeat. “Ok, ok, we can watch them together tomorrow night if you’re both free?”
Seb grinned and Carlos was relieved to see him happy again. “Works for me! I can bring over my collector’s edition DVDs,” he did a little happy dance that made Carlos want to cuddle him right then and there.
“Sorry guys, I’m gonna be hanging out with Ricky tomorrow night,” Nini said, a smile creeping onto her lips. “It’ll be our second first date I guess,” she chuckled.
“Exciting! I’m so happy for you guys,” Carlos said. “I guess this means I’ll have to hang out with just Sebby, ugh,” Carlos rolled his eyes, earning a playful slap from his boyfriend.
“Don’t worry, I’ll educate him well,” Seb smirked and Carlos blushed.
Nini raised her eyebrows at the two of them. “Ok, well that’s sorted out then,” she said, and they all went back to the cast party.
.
Carlos jumped up from the couch when he heard the doorbell ring, yelling “I’ll get it!” His mom was cleaning up in the kitchen, about to go out to meet his dad at a nice restaurant for their anniversary.
When Carlos swung the door open Seb was standing there in his East High sweatshirt with a grin on his face. “Hey,” he said, giving Carlos a peck on his way in.
“I see you came dressed for the occasion,” Carlos remarked as they walked through the hallway to the living room.
“I was gonna wear my classic HSM t-shirt but unfortunately it doesn’t fit me anymore - I guess I’ve grown a bit since 2008,” he laughed. “I had to settle for this,” he gestured to his sweatshirt as he dropped his backpack onto the floor next to the couch.
“Well, even a plain old sweatshirt looks perfect on you, so who am I to argue?” Carlos took a step closer to Seb and leaned in to give him a quick, soft kiss. This was his favorite thing about dating Seb - how casual they could be with their affection while still keeping it completely genuine. The better they got to know each other, the more natural it felt to trade little kisses, hold hands and just exist together.
“Oh hey, you said I could stay over, right?” Seb asked, gesturing to his backpack on the floor.
Carlos was about to answer when his mom walked into the living room in a nice black dress, and said, “hi Seb!”
“Happy anniversary Mrs. Rodriguez!” Seb smiled politely, before adding, “you look great!”
She laughed and Carlos rolled his eyes. “Why thank you,” she said with a little spin, “see mijo? Your boyfriend gives me compliments, you could learn a couple of things from him.”
“That’s what I keep saying,” Seb laughed and furrowed his brow, “well not about compliments exactly…”
Carlos looked offended. “I compliment you,” he said to his mom, “you just didn’t give me a chance. You look really nice,” he smiled, and his mom laughed in return.
“Thanks, I should get going though if I’m gonna get to the restaurant in time,” she put her phone in her purse.
“Oh, before you go,” Carlos began, and his mom looked back up expectantly. “You said it’s fine if Seb stays over tonight, right?” he asked hopefully.
She glanced between the two of them for a moment and then said, “yes, yes, I did.” She raised her eyebrows in warning at Carlos and added, “but don’t make me regret trusting you two in this house alone until we get back!”
Carlos blushed and nodded, “don’t worry, we’re just gonna be watching High School Musical.”
Seb pulled out his DVDs proudly as proof and added, “collector’s editions!”
Mrs. Rodriguez laughed and said, “ok, we’ll be back by midnight.”
“Have fun tonight!” Seb said and Carlos smiled at his boyfriend being a sweetheart around his mom. This shouldn’t have been of any notice though, since he was always a sweetheart.
“Thanks,” Carlos’ mom said with a wave as she made her way to the hallway and left.
Once they heard the door lock, Carlos said matter-of-factly, “ok, I’ll go make the popcorn, and you set up the DVD.”
Seb nodded and picked up the TV remote as Carlos headed to the kitchen. He got out a big bowl and returned with it full of popcorn after a few minutes to join Seb on the couch. He picked up the blanket that was draped over the other edge of the couch and spread it over the two of them, cuddling into Seb.
Seb pointed the remote at the TV and asked, “ready?”
Carlos nodded up at his boyfriend with a smile. He was excited to finally watch these two movies, but he was also just happy to be with Seb. He watched his face light up as ‘What Time Is It?’ started playing and then turned back to the screen.
Once the iconic country club pool appeared on screen, Carlos knew that the one number he really knew from this movie was about to begin. ‘Fabulous’ started and Seb couldn’t help but sing along under his breath. The grin on Carlos’ face grew even wider and he glanced up at Seb, nudging him and saying, “sing louder!”
Carlos laughed and sat up to watch as Seb started to sing along at full volume, imitating all of Sharpay’s movements and facial expressions. Carlos sang Ryan’s parts and harmonized with Seb, who took the second verse as a cue to stand up on the couch. It quickly became a full-on performance when Carlos stood up to join Seb at Ryan’s chorus, both of them belting their hearts out in character. The only time Carlos broke character was when, during the bridge, he pointed at the screen and laughed, “his pants!” He had never noticed that Ryan was wearing full-length pants in the pool and the sheer absurdity of it all suddenly registered. They carried on singing to each other through the rest of the song, and Seb even gave Carlos a look to signal that he would do Sharpay’s fall into the pool. Carlos held out his arms to catch Seb but lost his balance, and they ended up falling back down onto the couch together in a fit of laughter. After their laughter subsided, Seb leaned down as if to kiss Carlos, getting painfully close, but then pulled away and sat up nonchalantly, focusing his attention back on the movie.
“Hey!” Carlos pouted, sitting up reluctantly. Seb shot him a sidelong glance and smirked as he picked up the bowl and ate some popcorn.
Carlos realized that two could play at this game, so when Troy appeared on screen again for ‘Work This Out,’ Carlos started fawning over him. “Wow, if I had known how much gorgeous Zac Efron I was missing out on, I would’ve watched this movie years ago.” He glanced over to see the smirk disappearing from Seb’s face, which was still fixed on the screen, and knew that it was working. “Like, damn, he can even rock a kitchen uniform!” Carlos leaned forward towards the screen and rested his chin in his hand. “Don’t even get me started about his eyes, they’re just soo blue...” he trailed off, biting his lip and resisting the temptation to look at Seb.
Finally Seb snapped and gave into Carlos’ teasing. “It’s just because of the color filter in this movie! Even Gabriella’s hair looks blue!”
Carlos laughed at his boyfriend and turned to look at him. “You jealous?” he taunted.
“No,” Seb huffed, turning back to the screen. Carlos raised his eyebrows doubtfully, and Seb reluctantly met his gaze. “Ok, you win. But what about my eyes? They’re blue too…”
Carlos rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Seb’s neck. “I know,” he said, “I love your eyes.” Seb blushed and shifted his weight so he could face Carlos. Carlos leaned in to whisper in his boyfriend’s ear, “and don’t tell Zac, but you don’t even need the color filter to make my knees go weak.” He kissed the corner of Seb’s jaw right underneath his ear and started to pull away, but the other boy would not have it. Seb pulled Carlos’ face to his and kissed him, reveling in the surprised squeal that he let out. Carlos’ arms instinctively tightened around Seb’s neck as he kissed him back, a shiver running up his spine at the sensation.
Seb finally pulled away, Carlos’ lips chasing his through the air, when they heard the first notes of ‘You are the Music in Me’. He kept one arm on the couch behind Carlos and started running his fingers through his hair absentmindedly, which made Carlos short-circuit. He laced his fingers with Seb’s and turned back to the screen.
A few scenes later, Sharpay started singing ‘Humuhumunukunukuapua’a’ and Carlos’ couldn’t contain his laughter. “I knew this song was absurd but I always assumed there was some kind of contextual justification that I didn’t understand, but I guess not…” he said.
Seb laughed and shook his head. “Nope, this never has and never will make any sense, and that’s what makes it so iconic,” he said matter-of-factly.
Carlos nodded at Seb. “I will say,” he replied without taking his eyes off of the screen, “perhaps the greatest tragedy of our generation is that you didn’t get to do a rendition of this song in our musical.”
“Honestly, you’re right, this set would’ve been hilarious,” Seb smiled.
Carlos started singing along at the chorus and turned to Seb with a grin. “Humuhumunukunukuapua’a,” he sang, poking Seb in the side to the rhythm of the syllables.
Seb let out a shriek of giggles and recoiled into his corner of the couch, exclaiming, “stop, that tickles!”
Carlos stopped and smirked, “ooh, I didn’t know you were ticklish - note to self, this is useful information…” Seb shot him a glare that said ‘don’t you dare’ and Carlos laughed, patting his thigh so that he would relax again.
They continued watching in comfortable silence until the baseball field appeared on the screen and Seb sat bolt upright, wide-eyed and tapping Carlos frantically. “It’s happening, it’s happening!” he grinned, and Carlos smiled in confused amusement at his boyfriend.
“It’s ‘I Don’t Dance,’ right?” Carlos asked, vaguely recalling having studied this song’s dance break as choreography inspiration.
“Oh, if you mean the song where Disney says ‘gay rights,’ then yes,” Seb nodded. Carlos cocked his head at him and Seb chuckled. “Just you wait, there’s so much sexual tension…” he sighed, leaning back on the couch.
As the song started, Carlos took notice of every homoerotic innuendo and couldn’t believe that he never had before. He kept turning to Seb in disbelief, and his boyfriend just nodded in agreement every time. When they got through the second verse, Carlos asked incredulously, “‘I’ll show you how I swing?’”
“I know right,” Seb chuckled, keeping his eyes focused on the screen.
Carlos’ eyes widened as the first dance break ended and Chad and Ryan sang together face to face. He was speechless throughout the rest of the number, and when it was over he looked at Seb and said, “Oh my God, they really did that.”
Seb grinned and nudged his boyfriend’s shoulder, “I told you it was even better in context!” Carlos laughed and looked at Seb, who frantically pointed at the screen again. “Look, look, look at their outfits!”
Carlos glanced at the screen and his jaw dropped, before he said, “this is so gay, I’m living for it.”
Seb giggled and they watched the rest of the movie, Carlos chewing on the popcorn kernels that were left in the bowl. At some point Seb had leaned his head on Carlos’ shoulder, and when Troy and Gabriella finally kissed, he turned his head to look up at him. “Satisfying, isn’t it?” Seb breathed out softly, but Carlos only furrowed his eyebrows at the screen.
“Don’t they know how much of a fire hazard that is?!” he exclaimed at the characters letting go of their paper lanterns. “Think of the birds!”
Seb nuzzled his face into Carlos’ neck and put his hand on his thigh, murmuring, “shut up, Carlos, it’s romantic…”
Carlos tried to ignore the kisses his boyfriend was peppering all over his neck and cheek and retorted, “aren’t you concerned about these endangered animals, farmboy?”
Seb pulled away from Carlos and sighed, finally getting him to meet his eyes. “If I promise never to send off a paper lantern, will you give me attention?” he pouted.
Carlos giggled and said, “fine…” crashing his lips to Seb’s and pushing him down onto the couch as ‘All For One’ started to play. Seb wrapped one arm around Carlos’ back and his free hand shot up to the back of his neck. Carlos let his hands roam over Seb’s sweatshirt from his shoulders down his chest, feeling electricity in his fingertips. He let out a gasp when Seb lightly tugged on the short hair at the back of his head, feeling the blonde boy smile in response on his lips. Carlos lost himself in the kiss, vaguely aware of the upbeat pool party song ending and the sound of the credits beginning on the TV, but he was much more focused on the feeling of his body on his boyfriend. He felt Seb’s hand run through his hair and he thought he would melt into him. They didn’t pull apart until they eventually realized that the credits were over and they were just hearing the vaguely Hawaiian-sounding menu screen on repeat.
Carlos pushed himself back up to sit on the couch and Seb followed suit groggily before getting up to swap the DVDs. “Did I miss anything important in that last song? Apart from the unexplained Miley Cyrus cameo?” Carlos asked, his hand automatically adjusting his glasses.
Seb grinned from in front of the TV. “Nope, that’s about it,” he chuckled as he ejected the disc.
Carlos smiled, his face still red, and suddenly asked, “do you want more popcorn?”
“Sure, thanks,” Seb smiled.
As Carlos waited for the popcorn to pop, he washed his hands, unable to shake the grin off his face. It didn’t matter how long he and Seb had been together, the effect the farmboy had on him never subsided. He loved to see Seb in his element like this with High School Musical, and he was glad he was seeing these sequels for the first time with him. He walked back out to the living room with the popcorn bowl full again and handed it to Seb, plopping down next to him and planting a kiss on his cheek, just to hear him giggle. “Let’s go,” he said, pressing play on the remote and tossing it onto the blanket that had long since fallen to the floor.
Carlos was greeted by the opening high-quality close-up shot of Zac Efron’s face and raised his eyebrows. “Wow, they really did up the budget on this one,” he remarked.
“Just wait until ‘I Want It All,’” Seb said as he tossed some popcorn into his mouth and chewed earnestly.
When Gabriella stood up to sing “Troooooy!” Carlos died of laughter and Seb smacked his arm playfully.
“Hey, it’s dramatic!” he protested, but couldn’t help but let out a giggle at how ridiculous the scene really was.
“Yeah, ok,” Carlos nodded with enthusiastic sarcasm.
A few minutes later, Troy and Gabriella started singing ‘Right Here, Right Now,’ and Seb looked expectantly at Carlos. “So now you get the reference?” he raised his eyebrows to confirm the obvious.
“Uh huh, treehouse, I see,” Carlos smiled and nodded, looking between his boyfriend and the screen. “Man that’s a cool treehouse…” he trailed off as the roof opened up to reveal the stars in the romantic scene.
“Yeah, when I saw this for the first time I begged my dad to build me one just like it, but it’s pretty small, since I was like five,” Seb laughed.
Carlos snapped his head around to look at his boyfriend and said, “Seb, you did not just tell me you have a treehouse that I have yet to see.”
“I mean, the ceiling is so low that I haven’t been up in it for years,” Seb explained, but Carlos wouldn’t let it go.
“Ok, well, the next time I come over you have to show me this treehouse,” Carlos chewed a handful of popcorn, “sorry, I don’t make the rules.”
Seb laughed and soon enough, Ryan and Sharpay were in the cafeteria, about to sing ‘I Want It All.’ When the song started, he didn’t even realize he was muttering both parts of the duet perfectly from memory. Carlos stared at the screen in awe when the second verse started and the sets began to change. He had never seen the scene before and felt immediate shame and wonder when he saw how incredible it was. Seb glanced between Carlos’ face and the screen, grinning as if to say ‘you’re welcome.’
Carlos gasped when Gabriella turned around and said “it’s Oprah calling - again…” He giggled and said, “wow, I never knew I could feel so represented by Vanessa Hudgens in a maid outfit, but here we are.”
Seb smiled at his boyfriend and kept his eyes on him to watch his reaction to the Fosse-style dance sequence. Carlos was entranced as the figures on screen slowly raised their hands, palms-forward. Seb could tell that he was living his best choreographer life as the formations changed shape seamlessly and silhouettes came in and out of focus. When Ryan and Sharpay returned to the cafeteria balcony, he pointed out their names on the screen and said, “look at the size difference!” He cackled and Carlos laughed as well, since he hadn’t noticed it.
“I have no words,” Carlos said when the song ended, and Seb’s grin grew even wider.
“Oo, an upgrade, I see!” Carlos gestured at the screen when, a few minutes later, Troy and Gabriella were on the rooftop garden that had been expanded significantly since the first movie.
‘Can I Have This Dance’ began and Seb subconsciously held Carlos’ hand. Carlos glanced down at their hands, squeezing Seb’s before standing at the chorus and pulling him up with him. He wrapped his free arm around Seb’s back and the other boy mimicked his action, smiling at the him. Carlos led Seb around the living room in a waltz, quickly falling into the rhythm of the song. They both laughed as they bumped into the couch and the corners of the coffee table, but continued their dance, Carlos spinning Seb around to match the scene in the movie. He hopped onto the couch, still holding Seb’s hand, and mirrored the blonde boy’s steps as he was led to the other side. Seb put one arm around Carlos’ back and the other under his legs, carrying him off the couch not quite as gracefully as Troy did to Gabriella, but without falling nonetheless. Carlos laughed and grabbed onto his neck for dear life, letting out a breath of relief when Seb was able to withstand his weight. The song came to an end and they stared into each other’s eyes, both leaning in like Troy and Gabriella and holding back giggles. Seb suddenly let go of Carlos and held up his hands in an exaggerated shrug, saying “oh no, it’s raining!” and Carlos threw his head back in laughter.
The boys sat back down, this time with Carlos leaning back against Seb, who had his arm draped lazily around his boyfriend. They were both pretty tired from the dancing but happily watched as the entire cast appeared for ‘A Night to Remember.’ When Kelsi walked out into the amazed crowd, Seb clapped like the rest of the characters. “Kelsi finally getting the recognition she deserves, wow.” Carlos chuckled and agreed.
When Kelsi and Ryan started talking before ‘Just Wanna Be With You,’ Carlos was suddenly alert and sat upright. “Ok, did they just forget about Ryan and Chad in the last movie?” he asked incredulously, raising a hand in defeat.
“I just like to interpret it as gay and lesbian solidarity, nothing more,” Seb pointed out and Carlos nodded his head in approval.
“You’re right, they would be the best queer Broadway creative duo - that’s an acceptable reason to go to prom together,” Carlos justified.
When Ryan came in on the pre-chorus, Seb turned to Carlos and started dramatically singing along, making the other boy turn instantly red and roll his eyes. He leaned back into Seb again and angled his head up to press a quick kiss to his cheek. In the movie, Chad walked onstage dressed as a clown and Ryan put his arm on his shoulder, which earned a “that’s more like it,” from Carlos.
They sat calmly through most of the movie, until ‘Scream’ began towards the end and an electric guitar rang through the room. “Damn,” Carlos raised his eyebrows, “this song goes hard!” He nodded along to the beat, impressed. Seb followed suit, even adding a bit of air guitar, and Carlos laughed, “oh honey, you can’t pull off hard rock, I’m sorry.”
“Stop laughing at me!” Seb protested. He narrowed his eyes and tried to look really serious to match the song, but Carlos just thought it was cute and giggled.
As the movie came to a close and the cast started singing the graduation version of ‘We’re All In This Together,’ Carlos threaded his fingers through Seb’s again. “This is such a full circle moment, I’m gonna cry,” he said jokingly, but then he turned around to see Seb already wiping away a tear from his eye. “Aw, Sebby,” he chuckled and reached up to wipe away another tear.
Seb laughed and said, “I’m just very nostalgic, ok?”
Carlos smiled and settled his head in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, reveling in the unique feeling of just existing with him. The movie ended and neither of them moved from their spot except to turn off the TV with the remote. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Carlos sat up again. “Thanks for making me watch these, I finally feel like my childhood is complete,” he grinned.
Seb smiled and said, “well, as your boyfriend, this was my personal obligation, but you’re welcome. It was fun for me to see all of your reactions,” he giggled.
“And it was fun for me to see which bits you really knew by heart,” Carlos replied. “You’re so cute when you get excited about things,” he nudged Seb.
The blonde boy glanced between Carlos’ eyes and lips, putting his hand on his thigh and pressing a kiss to his mouth. Carlos’ eyes drifted shut and he breathed in the other boy, his hand drawing lazy circles on his back. When they pulled apart, Carlos reluctantly stood up from the couch, saying, “we should probably head up if we want to avoid an awkward conversation with my parents about you staying over.”
Seb blushed and nodded, putting his DVD back in its case and picking up his bag as Carlos brought the popcorn bowl to the kitchen. After washing up the bowl, Carlos took Seb’s hand and led him upstairs, both boys unable to hold back their smiles. Maybe High School Musical, both the movies and their production, was over, but they knew that their relationship was just beginning.
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weirdstuff-blog · 5 years
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Me and stephanie dancing up Christian
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"ROB SIMS presents KellyMBentley.Com in 2008! "
Female 26 years old ATLANTA, Georgia United States
Last Login: 4/13/2008
I love models and everything to do with the glamour industry. I am seriously into photography. I love to dance and I am currently learning to sing. I am crazy in love with my American Pitt Bull Terrier "Layla" and I love spending time with her playing freesbee with her and my loving fiance Django. I love fast cars preferrably American Muscle. My favorite would be a Trans Am. Long live Cassondra
Music I love all types of music, but my favorite is Classic Rock including the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Doors, Def Lepard, AC/DC, Primus, Nine Inch Nail all kinds of artists. I love dancing to hip-hop, but I really don’t have any favorites.
Movies I love chic flicks and cartoons. I’ve never really been a fan of horror flicks. My favs include Notebook, Ratatouille, Sweet Home Alabama, Youve Got Mail…you get where this is going.
Television I love reality shows. I was on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show but I hated it. My favorites shows include Pussycat dolls, ANTM, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, Rock of Love, Make me a Supermodel….well all of them except American Idol…hate that shit!!
Books I dont read anything but war books and Cosmopolitian magazine. Oh yea and the Bible of course. Heroes All of our American Military men and women especially those close to me….Andrew Goldman, Jason Edmondson, Chris Willis, and my sweet uncle Kurt. Love and appreciate you guys. If you have a friend or relative serving I send me their name and I will post it here to show my appreciation.
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Details
Status: In a Relationship Here for: Networking, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Alabama Body type: Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Education: College graduate Occupation: Model
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Schools Southern Union State Community College Wadley, AL Graduated: 2002 Student status: Alumni Degree: Associate’s Degree Major: Computer Science
2000 to 2002
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Companies NOPI Motorsports Atlanta, Georgia US Nopi Chic Model
Construction Cuties Atlanta, Georgia US
M Bentley Productions Atlanta, Georgia US
The Kelly M. Bentley is Taking Over the F*cking World!
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The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Blurbs About me: Its hard to describe myself because I am constantly changing. So to start, above all else, I am a bad ass bartender. I bartend at OPERA Nightclub here in Atlanta, Geogia. Its the biggest and hottest club in Atlanta. I also bartend at the Irish Bred Carrollton where I can fulfill my bar dancing passion to AC/DC, Buckcherry (Crazy biotch!), and Def Lepard. I love serving up cocktails with a little sassy shake some come by either place and check me out!!
Second, I am a model and one of the hottest female entrepreneurs on this planet. In modeling, I specialize in glamour, fitness, and promotional modeling. I always have something going on somewhere. I’m partnering up with NOPI as a NOPI CHIC for 2008. I love doing charity work so keep updated on my events and help us out. As an entrepreneur, I own half of a calendar production company with JM Polsfuss that is responsible for the hottest calendar coming out in 2009 Construction Cuties. Watch for it!! I also just teamed up with get this…yes…The Rob Sims….which we will have my website launched by the end of Spring to help heat up the summer for you. Also watch for all the magazine covers, layouts, spreads, etc. coming soon…I told you guys I’ll be taking over the WORLD!! Lastly, I am a regular girl that had a dream and am still forcing it to come true come hell or high water. I’m from a small town, but I’m working hard to fulfill my big city dreams as well as those of other girls who want to be models with MODELICIOUS. So if you want to try modeling, don’t listen to people when they tell you that you cant do it, they said I couldn’t, and I look at me…so don’t listen, contact me and lets see what we can do. I DONT DO ANYTHING FOR FREE….so don’t ask. I have a small network of professional models I use and promote because they have become friends. Don’t ask for my contacts, because I work hard in promoting and networking myself so why should I just hand over my hard work to you. If you want my network, you pay for my network.
THINGS YOU WOULDN’T GUESS ABOUT ME: No one would ever guess that I used to be in the Army National Guard. I used to be on Active Reserve as the RA for SFC Robert Cornett. I got out in 2005. I also used to wiegh 170 lbs. I gained a huge amount of weight when I quit drinking and smoking. Yea a lot of you thought it would never happen. I quit cold turkey and the turkey went to my ass. I lost 50 lbs. on the Subway diet. I was recently on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show on CMT and hated every minute. I also have a degree in Political Science and Computer Science with a minor in Military Science. Just some cool quirks about me. TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey Name: Kelly M Bentley Birthday: October 7th Birthplace: Anniston, Alabama Current Location: Atlanta, Georgia Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde/Brunette..hell I don’t know Height: 5’5" if I’d stand up straight Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Irish/German &..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:’ My beloved flip flops Your Weakness: Your Fears: airplanes, elevators, and scurrying vermon Your Perfect Pizza: cheese/pepperoni without any sauce Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be at 8% Body Fat by the end of the year Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I dont even know how to set that shit up… Thoughts First Waking Up: What in the hell are the Backyardigans? Your Best Physical Feature: My big ghetto booty Your Bedtime: When ever my mind decides to quit thinking Your Most Missed Memory: No clue..too much memory lost Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine free coke MacDonalds or Burger King: both are some nasty shit…I dont put it in my body! Single or Group Dates: Cant remember my last date… Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink any tea Chocolate or Vanilla: Just hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine free Coffee Do you Smoke: hell no Do you Swear: I swear I cuss too much Do you Sing: Did you catch my show? Think I’ll stick to the shower. Do you Shower Daily: more than once Have you Been in Love: Only twice for sure Do you want to go to College: Been there done that Do you want to get Married: Umm….when I’m too old to know better Do you belive in yourself: more than anyother person besides Roy Do you get Motion Sickness: Do you think you are Attractive: No but others tend to disagree Are you a Health Freak: Absolutely Do you get along with your Parents: depends on the day of the week Do you like Thunderstorms: love them Do you play an Instrument: In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: don’t drink alcohol In the past month have you Smoked: I quit when I was 20 In the past month have you been on Drugs: hell no drugs are for weak people In the past month have you gone on a Date: I havent gone on a date in the past few years In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No..I hate the mall..I’m in need of another personal shopper In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yea right…my trainer would shoot me In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don’t eat fish In the past month have you been on Stage: too many times In the past month have you been Dumped: No In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I wish In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No but someone stole two of my damned portfolios Ever been Drunk: Plastered on many occassions Ever been called a Tease: What girl hasnt Ever been Beaten up: No but I got launched off some steps one time Ever Shoplifted: no I only steal hearts How do you want to Die: at 200mph on the Autobahn What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I’m doing it but not grown up yet What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Any that don’t lie Favourite Hair Color: any that I can run my fingers through Short or Long Hair: either Height: all heights Weight: weight doesn’t matter Best Clothing Style: clothes dont make the man Number of Drugs I have taken: Don’t do drugs Number of CDs I own: not too many Number of Piercings: ears and belly button Number of Tattoos: 1 Number of things in my Past I Regret: only 1…if you know me you know what it is
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Who I’d like to meet: TO ALL MODELS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS: Now that I am partnered up with Robs Sims who is the most published photographer on the planet also owner of FitBeauties and FitModels International Magazines, photographer for Oxygen, MuscleMag, InStyle, American Curves, Maxim, FHM, Mens Health…okay I’m tired already. Too many to list. Google him for the rest…lol. Rob and I will be offering photoshoots to ambitious models with the guarantee to be published. Yes there is a catch. 1)like I said I don’t do anything for FREE 2) Neither does he 3) you have to be approved by me first. Sorry ladies…I have to be picky. Feel free to submit to me for shoots with Rob. I will be honest and give you feedback. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU PUBLICATION IN MAJOR MAGAZINES.
Posted by dcsmith2752002 on 2008-06-23 13:19:11
Tagged: , KELLY , M , BENTLEY , IN , ATLANTA , GA , NIGHT , LIFE , BASIC , BLACK , FORMAL-WEAR , AND , CASUAL , -WEAR , ATTIRES
The post Me and stephanie dancing up Christian appeared first on Good Info.
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caps-clever-girl · 5 years
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thoughts on endgame.
fair warning, i am not going to be kind. i enjoyed watching this movie, for the most part. it was funny; it had many good jokes and good, pure and well done interactions between multiple characters. but i didnt like it, and here are the reasons why.
unfortunately, this isnt a ‘nitpicky’ post. my main problems are with a lot of the bigger points points of the film, and had quite a few. this is a LONG post.
• “marvels first gay character!!!!!!!!!!!!” shut up. you joined the ‘fad’ late for brownie points and it was a cameo character who got about 3 lines. there are plenty of canon queer and gay characters who could have been introduced, either as cameos or in earlier films. dont even get me started on the fact that tony has more canon bi material than most others and marvel could have taken the time or even the slightest bit of effort to make this. while i enjoyed the jokes about steve being Incredibly Hot and his ass being Gods Gift To America (which honestly??? correct!) that could have been expanded on. several characters made comments about how nice steve’s ass is, and could have been used as actual material for a queer character, instead of sticking a random chharacter in there. i get the whole ‘gay people could be anyone! its normal!’ thing by giving the ‘role’ to a regular person, but you would also prove that by making any one of your 30+ main cast actually queer instead of making gay jokes and hints that could be retconned and explained away by humour.
• slapping someone out of a panic attack, and treating the panic attack like a joke. yeah, i get it, they didnt have a lot of time. still, come on. did iron man 3 teach you nothing? apparently not since tonys ptsd was pretty much never brought up again.
• speaking of thor. now, i am not an expert, but when a person gains weight, they do not keep their abs. certainly not after five entire years - not even asgardians. i also found it odd that thor became the way he did. i understand gaining weight and comfort eating after all the trauma thor went through losing his home and brother and people, i really do, but 1.) do it properly, at least, and 2.) thor is the leader of his people. does he want the task? not particularly. he hasnt wanted to be king since the first thor movie, but hes been forced into the role. even depressed i dont think thor would shy away from it, not completely. hes always wanted to do right by his people and i think that hed stuck to it, especially after The Snap backing him into a corner, if that makes sense. to clarify, i dont have a problem with chubby/fat thor. (IF done right instead of with weird, shitty cgi, that is.) i have a problem with the fact that thor, even though he doesnt want to be king, would abandon the last remanents displaced people to build a new home all on their own and become a hermit gamer boy. ESPECIALLY with valkyrie around. she’s been through a derpressive, alcohol fuelled time in her life and thor pulled her out of it. (mostly anyway, asgardians are party animals and im p sure she still gets trolleyed on the reg) i have bo doubt that after years of wallowing she would do her damned best to try and kick his ass out of it, even if it were just because his people need a leader, instead of letting him drop everything on her and just let him stew while new asgard gets on with it. i also didnt like the fact that all of thors emotional moments were treated as jokes and made to be funny when hes genuinely Fucked Up about eveything thats happening and made his image into a whiny crybaby.
• professor hulk. more of a personal one, this, simply because i just didnt like it. fair enough if y’all disagree on this one, im not going to fight it. i just never saw him wanting to combine himself with the hulk. ever. when he apleared on the screen i was completely blindsided, and his explanation, and the way he interacted with the kids????? i just want to know where all of this confidence suddenly came from. i use the term ‘suddenly’ loosely, since its been five years, but bruce has never been the guy to care about strength or looks or fame. hes always been shy and nerdy. not afraid to stand his ground or make his opinion known. hes bot a catchphrase, posing and flexing ‘hell yeah lets take a selfie’ guy. i get that thats maybe the result of the hulk and bruces combined personality but it just felt WEIRD to me, like, there wasnt a time in the film where i felt comfortable with the character. this was the final avengers film, with all of the original six avengers in it. but it didnt feel like that, it didnt feel like bruce or the hulk was in the film, even though there was a lot of funny and good moments with orofessor hulk, it felt like a stranger with some familiar characteristics. it ruined any feelings of nostalgia for me. i like bruce, and i like the hulk. i like the way their differences add to the story and the way they interact with eachother, and the slow change in their relationship. sorry if its petty but i prefer them seperate, theres just so much more to them for me.
• clint and natasha’s journey for the soul stone. both times, in infinity war and endgame, a male character and a female character went to get the soul stone. both times the male came back and the female died, and we lost possibly two most developed and main-line female characters in the entire mcu. now i understand the reasoning for both, and out of the characters that went there, i agree with the choice. thanos and gamora; it was thanos who was aware of the sacrifice and who chose to make it. gamora didnt get a choice and was unaware until it was too late. thanos was never going to die there. he knew there would be a sacrifice and chose to take gamora, because she would be the most likely sacrifice to actualky sucsesfully yield the soul stone because she was the most loved by him. i get it, but we lost gamora and i dont like it. clint and natasha; looking at it completely objectively, clint has a family, a wife and three children, that he wants to get back. natasha does not have any children, nor any (blood) family. if i had to choose, based on facts like that, id choose her too. but i still hate it, because there goes the only female member of the avengers. also, nebula (and i think maybe rocket?) KNEW that a sacrifice would be made and either accidentaly or deliverately left out the terms of aquiring the soul stone. it would have been easy to tell, if not easy to solve. but nothinb was said, and two best friends had to make a fucking awful and horrible choice when they might not have had to.
• on the ‘feminism’ tangent; the random congragation of women in the end scene??????? i dont????? okay so i am marking myself as a hypocrite here because i did love this scene!!! it made my lil gay heart go boom to see so many good and strong women all in one place - ESPECIALLY rescue - and it also made me realise how many women there actually are across the mcu??? which was really nice?? but it just felt... so forced? the way they ALL suddenly apleared and stood together even though they were all mixed in around the battlefield. it was a wonderful thought and i did enjoy it, but it seemed too Off and Odd to seem as much more than a bid for Feminism Brownie Points.
• captain marvel. i dont know about you, but i was actually looking forward to her being in the film. for a character so hyped to be the saviour of the avengers and the end of thanos, she was barely in the film. ‘i have other planets to save, the earth isnt the only one affected by thanos’ yeah but earth is the only plannet actively attacked by him. its where the people who are rallying to fight him and reverse what he did are. dont you want to stick around and help them? surely it would be a hell of a lot easier with your help, and faster too. yes, she blasted theough the ship at the end, but she did fuck all to help defeat thanos himself, and the help she did give with the ship came at the end. i genuinely think they kept her out of the movie because she was too powerful, and would have made fighting thanos etc too easy to get all the suffering and noble sacrifices in. if she had been a side character i dont think id be as mad, but she got a whole MOVIE in which she is clearly the start of the entire avengers initiative; she is their HISTORY!!!! she is so powerful!!!! and yet she has 5 mins of screen time!! it pisses me off that she was So Strongly implied to be the character the avengers NEEDED, the one that without whom it would be IMPOSSIBLE to defeat thanos; the woman that really tipped the scales in there favour, and yet she did fuck all. (and lets not even get started on the carol/rhodey and carol+tony bromance we COMPLETELY missed out on.)
• (speaking of bonding what the fuck happened to tony and nebula????? after they were rescued it was like they never met)
• the whole entire concept of time what the fuck!!! ‘dont change anything’ okay well for the most part you did okay, and the PLAN and CONCEPT was actually really easy to grasp, at least to me, which is hard when working with paradoxes and wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff. but that went out the water when past!thanos and his army were brought into the future and disintergrated. does this mean they’re dead in the past - since they would have just. Left and not come back and therefore ceased to exist from that point???? or did tonys Snap simply send them back to their point in time, with no memory of what had occured? idk because it aint explained.
• speaking of; loki. again - his past changed; he managed to escape, with the tessarect. this is not explained nor expanded upon. assuming the events of thor 2 came about - which were impossible if he escaped - then his timeline would carry on as normal, and would PERHAPS explain the tessarects wacky timeline. (i dont know for certain, because i cant work it out anyway). but loki disspearing means he wouldnt have gone to trial on asgard, nor would he wouldnt have been in thor 2 - also by extention meaning that frigga is still alive. technically if he went back to get odin off the throne anyway, everything else after thor 2 involving loki/asgard would still come to pass. either way, we dont know. it was a nice way for endgame to give fans what we wanted; the posibility of loki coming back. but it doesnt make a lick of sense, and we have no idea if hes still alive/escaped or not, and why. personally i have no fucking idea and im pretty sure it was a cop out so they could give us what we wanted. which brings to my other point:
• giving the audience what we wanted. we got loki interaction. we got loki ‘escaping’ and ‘surviving’ (????) we FINALLY got rescue, who many fans have been asking for since i think iron man 2, and even more so since The Badass That Was Pepper Potts in im3. we got morgan stark and tony and pepper married, we got jokes about steves ass, and more jokes about male characters admiring how hot other male characters are. and, most importantly, we got tony having the nice relaxing life he wanted out in his cabin in the woods with his wife and kids (even if it was a horrific way of getting there). i dont quite know how to explain it, but to me it seemed like they were shoving as many ‘fan-requests’ into the film as possible - so that when they killed off 2 of the original 6, and removed another by ageing him out of use, they could lessen the backlash and justify the changes by going ‘but you got so mych that you wanted beforehand!!’. a tactic they drenhed us with because one of those 2 was a fan favourite that people were BEGGING not to be killed off because they felt that he hadnt recieved anywhere near the peace or happiness he deserved so far - and now never will. which brings me to:
• tony’s death.
there are two parts to this.
one, i was incredibly pissed off because strange’s Big Plan, the ONLY reason he saved tony in infinity war, was so tony could use the gauntlet and kill himself anyway later. anyone in that film could have used that gauntlet - and many wouldnt have suffered fatal injuries; captain marvel, steve, t’challa, peter quill to name a few possibilities - basically, anyone who is in anyway enhanced would have had a better chance of surviving and would have therefore been the better choice; aka, half the mcu. i think it was a proximity thing; tony was closest. he had the oppertunity and the others didnt. but tony didnt know about the option of using it until strange looked at him and gave him ‘the signal.’ the signal to sacrifice himself. and of course, this is tony stark. when is he ever going to refuse that.
but reason two, and this is the one that stings the most; tony started the mcu.
in my opinion, he is the character who has put the most in during the whole ten years. he, of ALL the characters, deserves his happy ending of marrying the love of his life and having a kid, without constantly fearing that hes foing to have them ripped away from him, that hes going to have to fight to the death to keep them safe.
one of my friends, when i complained about tony dying, said; “it was his time. plus, he had a legacy! with pepper and morgan, and the iron man name. how can you be upset?”
i can be upset because tony got the happiness he wanted after losing exactly 50% of what he held dearest. i can be upset because hawkeye got his family back, but tony only got five years with his wife and less with his kid, instead of getting the oppertunity to grow old with his wife and watch his kid go to collage like clint will. i can be upset because the character that has gone through the most trauma, both physically and mentally, who spent the last ten years trying to better the world and everything in it and protect it, who got the most shit for every decision he made and who ended EVERY SINGLE FILM with a broken limb or his face littered with bruises and cuts while every other film centric character ended the film usually scrape free, didnt get his happy fucking ending. sure, he has a legacy. but i dont give a shit, because that legacy - of iron man, of morgan and pepper and stark industries - would have been there whether tony was alive to see it flourish or not. but he wont be.
this goes beyond being a ‘tony stan’ or tony being my favourite character. out of every single character, from start to finish, anthony edward stark fucking deserved a happy ending and by god he deserved it the most. i will argue that until my end of days.
i watched tony stark on screen for ten years, and i watched him get progressively more scarred and fucked up. his parents. the ten rings. losing yinsen. obie. vanko and hammer. the palladium poisoning. new york; the nuke and the wormhole. the ptsd, the panic attacks. the iron legion and retirement attempt. killian and extremis and the end of that returement attempt. wanda’s vision. jarvis being destroyed. the accords and subsequent civil war. finding out about the winter soldier and his hand in his parents death. finding out that steve knew. siberia. struggling to balence iron man and the accords. losing peter. being stranded on titan, in space for weeks.
tony in that wheelchair, shaking and rail thin and unable to stand for more than a few moments will haunt me forever.
i watched him suffer for ten years - longer, even, in-universe - clawing for his quiet, happy ending while fighting for the happy ending he thought the rest of the world deserved, and instead of getting rewarded he just got beaten down and beaten down. after ten fucking hears of watching the backbone of the entire franchise get nothing but shit piled on him until he struggled to breathe for it, excuse me for thinking he woukd finally get the chance to crawl out from under it and be happy. no strungs attatched, no awful, sacrificial price to be payed, just for a man who had given so. fucking. much. to finally get something for once, and be allowed to keep it.
well i was wrong. and i feel so incredibly fucking stupid for even hoping otherwise.
and thats what i didnt like about avengers endgame.
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gendertrader · 6 years
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Physical Weight - 266 lb Height - 5′9″ Age - 24 25 mg Aldactone 1 month, 50 mg Aldactone 1 month
Because this is the first month that I’m ‘fully’ (due to reports suggesting that passing 100 mg may not be as effective as previously thought) on Aldactone, from here forward, I will report this as my first month.
Skin
Hair (body/head) [hairline, texture, thickness] I have noticed an increase in the amount of head hair that has fallen out over the past month.  This was not initially expected, but after some review of anecdotal reports, this is not uncommon.  Not enough has been lost to make it visible, but I will keep an eye out.
Face [hairline, cheekbones, facial hair, eyebrows, eyes, acne, skin] I have not noticed much change in facial structure as of yet, which is to be expected, but I’ve started wearing mascara more regularly and I’ve had an increase in acne, specifically around my chin, but it hasn’t been too bad.  I���m interested to see how this changes as I was not a particularly acne-ridden teenager. I have started trimming my beard a little differently to further act as contour, and its growth has started to have a more significant effect on my mental health.
Body [fat, taste, libido, hair, calves, nail growth, testes, temperature] I have seen little to no fat redistribution (unsurprising as it often takes up to 3 months of a full hormone regimen to start seeing real changes), but there may be a hint of gynecomastia from the aldactone.  I’m also learning to hold my body differently so as to accentuate the breast tissue, so any changes I’m seeing could self-influenced. I have noticed a clear increase in sugar, specifically chocolate, and salt cravings.  I have started incorporating a shake of iodized salt during meals to prep for this month, when I anticipate experiencing much stronger cravings.  I have seen mental health changes (please see mental health section for additional thoughts), which I imagine have contributed to the sugar cravings. Libido is...something.  I haven’t started fully experiencing the loss of libido caused by anti-androgens, but I seem to be getting it in waves that sort of follow my typical ‘horniness fluctuation’ if you will.  The primary difference is that everything is stronger: when I’m horny, I’m  h o r n y  but I can also go weeks at a time without masturbating and the sight of a hard dick does next to nothing for me.  I’m interested to see how this progresses. Despite taking a daily 10,000 mcg dose of biotin, I’ve seen a decrease in nail growth speed and a slight decrease in nail strength.  I used to be able to keep them rather long (good for painting, etc.) but they’ve been short for almost two weeks now (after I removed the pink fake nails pictured above) and little to no growth has occurred.  Finally, and I’m not sure that this is due to Aldactone, I’m having a more difficult time properly digesting food.  Part of me believes it’s due to my wearing high-waisted women’s jeans every day, which press on a part of my abdomen that isn’t usually compressed and could potentially disrupt flow of digestion through the stomach, but it occurs even when I’ve not worn those specific pants all day.  I suppose this warrants additional observation.
Mental/Emotional Brain Fog I’m creating a new category specifically to mention brain fog.  I have definitely seen an increase in what I must assume is the brain fog for which I see so many reports.  To me, it feels like when you’ve been high for a really long time and finally start coming down - almost as if there’s a layer of thought that has been suppressed and you have to focus just a little more than usual to process the things happening around you.  I imagine that, for somebody who has never been high, this could be rather disconcerting and difficult to navigate.  Fortunately, I’ve been smoking for about 2 years straight as this point, so I have very little trouble living with a little bit of brain fog for now.  I will make an update if I notice an increase in fog from 50 to 100 mg.
Depression There has been a slight but definite increase in depression symptoms.  It feels like it’s primarily due to the energy-sapping quality of Aldactone, and less like I’m extra sad all the time, but the sadness-depression has increased somewhat as well.  I imagine this is due to the fact that I’m no longer actively repressing my understanding of self as a transfeminine individual, so the masculine qualities that I dislike are starting to stand out more.  Some examples of these include my beard (I used to go 1-2 weeks without shaving as I am a depressed graduate student and don’t always have the time/energy to shave, but I’m now shaving around twice a week), my face (a couple times while really high and having removed my glasses, I’ve seen Alex as she can be with estrogen but it usually lasts for minutes at a time, so I’m then immediately reminded that I do not look like this - clearly the typical trans experience, but I didn’t think it would be this strong for me and it feels like it’s only the beginning, so I’m strapping up), or my internal experience of being alive (it /feels like/ I’m on testosterone, and sometimes that just gets the best of me; during those times, I have to remind myself that wanting to be a girl is a symptom of being a girl.  It’s then that it feels like I’m getting a taste of the true Trans Experience and I have to code switch into thinking how lucky am I to have so much room to grow which only helps a little but that’s more than nothing).  I had a few boy days recently, which were nice because everything matched up, but it was somewhere closer to 3 or 4 days out of the month so I’m less worried about my boy days interfering with my transition.  Finally, as I’ve stated before, even without the effect of the Aldactone, or the drain of coming out to everybody around me, or the strain of an actual social transition, it’s exhausting.  Because I choose every day to take this medication that continues to bring me one step closer to my ideal self, I also inevitably must at least briefly consider what I am doing and the changes I hope to see, which is much more introspection on this topic than I’ve wanted to do for a while.  I’m nervous that friends are going to find out before I’m ready (I’m in my final months of my master’s program so there’s no reason in my mind to attempt a social transition yet as I have other very difficult things to do already (I have a conference in which I present at the end of the month and I have to finish data collection and create a poster; I have to collect data for my thesis before analyzing said data and completing my master’s thesis before the April 22 (I think???) deadline so I can graduate on time; I have to find a job (lmao this is so difficult brb crying), which will include a million applications and half a million job interviews; I have to complete 2 additional manuscripts for publication (again, once data collection is completed); and I have to move to wherever I eventually get a job) and I don’t need a social transition piled on top because I’m already barely staying afloat as it is.
Anxiety There may have been a very slight increase in anxiety near the middle to end of the month, but I had also been on the same strain of weed for a while, so I wasn’t taken off guard at all.
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drpepperphd · 7 years
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AYASES TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2017
OH MAN WHAT A GOOD YEAR FOR MUSIC ! ! ! ! ! AND GAMES ! ! ! ! ! ! yknow what ! ! ! this was just a good year ! ! ! fuck what u all say ! ! ! anyways heres the list and under the cut ill talk about the album and have some Honourable Mentions ! LETS GO ! !
10: A Crow Looked At Me by Mount Eerie
9: Concrete Desert by The Bug vs. Earth
8: Time Away by Casey Lalonde
7: Savage Sinusoid by Igorrr
6: Outer Edges Remixes by Noisia
5: Someone Elses Story by CXDR
4: It Happens Too Briefly To Know by Jr. Adelberg
3: Romaplasm by Baths
2: World Eater by Blanck Mass
1: II by Phuture Doom
wow ! ! okay so lets talk about feelings bitch
A Crow Looked At Me; so like fuck thats a sad album huh ? its straight up just grieving But With Guitar. im a massive fan of mount eerie and like literally everything phil elverum ever does, so its unsurprising this made the cut in the end, but this is one of those albums where once its over youre just left there, probably crying, just like “well shit now what to do i do with my life”
Concrete Desert; years back the bug and earth did a 2 song split that to this day i still absolutely adore, so as soon as i heard they were making a full length album together, i kinda flipped my shit ! ! and it lived up to all my expectations, and then some ! the album perfectly captures both the gritty and noisy and cold and empty sounds that both the bug and earth make separately, and just mashes it into this beautiful and dark album
Time Away; so idk if anyone knows but i am a HUGE casey lalonde fan, their music has meant a lot to me and helped me through a lot, so its only fitting they drop an album this year and its beautiful as hell ! ! from start to finish, time away took me through a bunch of feelings, all relevant to this year, doing what casey lalonde does best and making an incredibly enjoyable and comfy album yet again
Savage Sinusoid; i mean shit igorrr sure as hell exists huh ! ! suddenly savage sinusoid is released and its god damn chaotic as hell, and really focuses more on the... lets say Guttural side of igorrrs music. i mean all good albums should start with a dude screaming his lungs out honestly
Outer Edges Remixes; so the first time i listened to the outer edges remixes i was in public, but that did not stop me from boppin my head and all that shit cause literally every song on this album goes the fuck OFF ! ! ! like i honestly cant say anything else its just incredible remixes of older noisia songs with their incredible style of their album Outer Edges
Someone Elses Story; oh my goodness here onwards things are probably gonna get lengthy and emotional ! ! so i absolutely Love every piece of music avery releases, her music has comforted and helped me for years, and i still remember the first time i heard her music with the album Lost No Longer, which to this day continues to be my Comfort Album. now this album carries that weight twofold, as this album is about the past 3 years for avery, which coincidentally is for how long her music has been helping me. now ngl, i definitely cried listening to this album, every song just hit a different part of me, and you can feel each emotion that shes experience over the past 3 years in just 9 songs. a beautiful way to wrap up her alias as cxdr, and come out publicly under the name avery, and i cant wait to see where her music goes next.
It Happens Too Briefly To Know; i honestly did not expect to come to love this album as much as i do now ! on the surface its good indie rock, not anything new but not too familiar either, playing with the genre with interesting changes in the pace of songs. changing the pace during songs more often than not. it felt simple enough, but slowly over time i just kept coming back to this album, listening to it over and over again, and ive really come to appreciate every minute detail of this album, not to mention the feeling of youth it seems to so expertly capture
Romaplasm; oh my god, oh my GOD. alright so i really love baths, and this is undeniably his best release yet, it nearly placed second on this list, but i think world eater just BARELY tops it, for entirely different reasons though. hearing such openly gay songs from a big artist is... incredibly refreshing to say the least, even if they can be incredibly depressing, with lyrics such as “queer in a way thats failed me”. this album goes on such an incredible journey through everything baths does so well, starting to bright and happy and reaching an incredibly depressing song only 2 songs later, which jumps right into an incredibly uplifting and headstrong track, basically continuing in weird patterns like this but somehow flowing really well, until it does what i loved about his album obsidian. what i loved about obsidian is how it progressively got darker and grittier, to the point where the final track had some distortion in it. this takes it to an entirely different level, by going in an entirely different way. this is done in the last 3 tracks, so from wilt to coitus the album grows softer, almost like its dying (not a hard conclusion to reach with such track names) to a point in coitus where it even fizzles out for lack of a better word. and as coitus ends, in comes broadback, an oddly happy sounding song, especially in contrast to the last few tracks. the lyrics on the other hand, definitely not so happy, but vaguely hopeful. then baths does something that he hasnt done in his music before. he screams. and he just screams “dont want you to die” over and over until the end of the song. words cannot explain what this album does to me, but good god it sure as shit does it
World Eater; with each release blanck mass has done, hes gotten progressively more Intense. his first album was just an ambient album, his second release was grittier, it actually had beats, and now theres world eater. when rhesus negative kicked in on my first time listening to world eater, i fucking lost it. its such an angry and intense and fast song, and it goes the fuck off. the album goes in and out of angry songs and softer songs, in such an entrancing way that even the worst track on the album is still amazing and something id just listen to on its own. id like to mention literally every track on the album and talk about it but that would just take up way too much time, but i do want to just say the rat and silent treatment are fucking incredible songs that are like nothing ive ever heard and everything about this album just fucking RULES
II; ever since this album dropped in march, it has been my album of the year, nothing swaying that opinion any other way. i god damn love phuture doom, and the whole arg and everything about the lead up to this album was god damn amazing, and when it was all finally uncovered and we all listened to it for the first time, it blew our fucking minds. II takes what everyone loved about phuture dooms first album and ramps it up to 10, making the darkest and angriest and grittiest black acid cult shit imaginable. one song after the other, each proceeding to just impress and enthrall me more and more, and then you get the 4 minute ambient (and frankly kinda scary) ending, and honestly i needed to lay down after hearing II for the first time. the story and mystery of phuture doom deepens further, and quite frankly i worship  my new overlord Entity0, whatever the fuck that even is
honourable mentions time ! ! ! !
Death Peak by Clark; wow ! new clark album ! fuck its cool as hell ! god damn ive listened to this album too much ! !
Humanz by Gorillaz; yeah so what if you dont think its their best album ! its still a damn good album !
Utopia by Bjork; UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ALBUM
Human Goings by Neil Bones; FUCK ME EVEN NEIL BONES RELEASED A NEW ALBUM ITS ALL HAPPENING THIS YEAR AAAAAAAA
Rainbow Mirror by Prurient; hey what the fuck new prurient ? Oh Hey Its Three Hours Long. combines his work under vatican shadow and prurient really well ! ! ! !
The Journey Man by Goldie; what the fuck goldie released a new album and its actually GOOD ? ? ? oh it goes for 2 hours huh. Fuckin Okay Mate
Evolution Of The Universe by Medium; my god what a fucking intense and angry dnb album good shit
WELL I GUESS THATS ALL FOLKS ! ! ! ! ! ! ! yeehaw and have a Happy New Cheers
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I fall asleep on my computer: six people on their relationship with the web
New Post has been published on https://computerguideto.com/must-see/i-fall-asleep-on-my-computer-six-people-on-their-relationship-with-the-web/
I fall asleep on my computer: six people on their relationship with the web
As a study shows many people feel unable to switch off from the internet, we ask our readers how much time a week they spend online
Do you spend too much time online? Its a question that may unearth some uncomfortable truths, and if you are worried about how much you use Facebook/Google et al, youre not alone.
The annual communications market report from media and telecoms regulator Ofcom looks at how people cope with spending so much time connected, and this year it found that more than a third of UK internet users are taking digital detox breaks from the web. It found an increasing amount of time we spend online is leading to lost sleep and less time spent with friends and family.
Six people talk about their relationship with the web, and whether they have the balance right. Share your thoughts below the line.
Cary, 61: My friendships have fallen apart and I am gaining weight by being in all the time
Time spent online: 10 to 12 hours a day
At first I used the internet just for responding to emails. Then for reading news online, shopping and chats. Forums were a totally new experience for me I remember finding it amazing that you could talk to someone through a computer. I have tried various discussion forums, even met with few people out of curiosity. I thought the web was so great because of such vast opportunities for meeting people from beyond my immediate circle, of learning from each other, and doing stuff together.
But that hasnt really happened. My friendships have fallen apart and I am gaining weight by being in all the time. The internet affects my ability to sleep too. My day is turned upside down I go to bed very late because I often get carried away reading something. Time flies when I am doing that! I imposed a regime on myself to do things at home but I drag my feet when it comes to going out.
Whatever I need is now on the web: I can do online banking, shop online and find recipes there too. Information is much easier to get, but I do miss that personal contact with people.
Jenny, 27, Kent: I use the internet at work and go straight online when I get home
Time spent online: 10 hours a day I grew up with the internet I remember the whirling beep-boop of dial-up. I use the internet at work, and go straight online when I get home. Im always logging into apps to play games or check my Facebook messages. I have mostly used the internet to stay connected, though, with friends from across the world. In my teens I used MSN to talk to people these days I go on Facebook and join online chats. Having said this, I can happily spend hours away from the net playing with friends, but the habit of checking for updates online is always there.
The internet has always been a way to stay connected for me. I have made amazing friends in the US and elsewhere. It has helped me feel connected, and talk to people about a variety of topics. Seeing a US perspective of the current elections online, for example, has been refreshing.
I dont feel like there are any drawbacks to the internet. I can go without it, but I dont ever feel the need to switch off. I often go camping and never think of my phone because Im with the friends. I suppose you might need some sort of balance but I dont feel like it negatively affects my life at all.
In the early 2000s, MSN was widely used for chatting online, via messages or webcams. Photograph: Alamy
Mel, 24, London: The internet has made my anxiety worse
Time spent online: one to five hours a day
Some days I trawl through the internet looking for inspiration or to help with my work, but over the long summer months this happens less. I started my BA just last year and a lot of my friends have already graduated, have exciting jobs and are generally having more fun (or so Instagram tells me).
Although I feel Im right where Im supposed to be, seeing their carefully curated lives as they appear on social media exacerbates my anxiety. The web is also very addictive. Ive now deleted social media apps and use the sites on my browser for a fraction of the time I used to, but I often feel rubbish after using them.
Ive battled with mental health issues for a long time. Even though at times of deep depression I actually found sites like Reddit strangely helpful, overall I think the internet has definitely made my anxiety worse.
Reddit was particularly helpful after coming out theres a huge queer community on Reddit and the kind of stories and advice there is really helpful.
But even though its made it easier to connect with others, the internet can also turn feelings my of unsettlement into a full-blown meltdown (whether its a post making me think a friend is avoiding me or Ive Googled my symptoms and think Im dying).
Having said that my partner and I wouldnt have met if it wasnt for the ultimate nerve-racking experience of online dating. I guess being shy and anxious and having no clue how to navigate life as a queer woman, it has allowed me to meet new people that I wouldnt have approached in real life.
Ive had to put a ban on phones when my partner and I spend quality time together because although Ive made an effort to use mine a lot less, she will be fiddling around online. I avoid looking at her Instagram and Facebook feeds sometimes. I get Fomo [fear of missing out] and read too much into things, I guess.
Mike, 67, Brittany: The internet lets us keep in touch with family and friends
Time spent online: two to five hours a day
Its made our relocation to France much easier and smoother. The internet lets us keep in touch with family and friends, even while theyre travelling and/or very busy. It also allows us to keep better informed and pursue personal interests and research.
Its a massive help in solving practical quotidian problems (DIY, health, transport, holidays etc). Im more positive about the net and spend more time online than my partner, but it rarely causes tension. We still talk to each other as much as we always did.
Im more positive about the net, and spend more time online than my partner, but it rarely causes tension. Photograph: Sarah Lee for the Guardian
I dont think it affects my ability to get jobs done either; if anything researching online helps me tackle jobs I might have been daunted by in the past.
JP, 65, Bristol: I am online during my first cup of coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner
Time spent online: eight to 10 hours a day
Before the arrival of internet I used to spend a lot of hours a week researching in the library, reading the news and also writing letters to friends and family so it was easy for me to migrate online. Actually, the internet made everything I enjoy much easier to do. I do, however, consider myself dependent on it, as I am online during my first cup of coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner (except when I go out to see friends). I usually fall asleep on my computer.
I doubt that it has benefited my life, as all the hours spent online could have been better spent outdoors. The web does, however, satisfy lots of my curiosities, and I can read an endless number of articles from around the world.
Dining al desko: do you eat your lunch by your computer? Photograph: Alamy
It would be hard to see the world without the internet, but I do think we all waste far too much time online. If the internet didnt exist, I would have spent the same amount of time reading, so I dont believe it really affects my relationships. Sometimes it can be a huge distraction, however. I often think, just 15 more minutes, 10 more minutes, and so on, as the hours go by.
Matthew, 30, Northamptonshire: I deleted my Facebook a few years ago and life has been better since
Time spent online: 12 hours a day
I have to use the internet as part of my job in IT support and obviously the web contributes to me earning a decent living so I cant be too negative about it.
Being online all day can get a little tiring at times, however, and about six years ago I deleted my Facebook and my life has been better without it. I have tried Twitter and Instagram too but have since deleted the accounts because I dont feel I need the gratification of a like or a retweet in my life. Sometimes I feel like Im missing out but then again some of the things online are really not beneficial to me or worth keeping up with.
From an educational perspective the internet has allowed me to expand my knowledge across a broad range of subjects. At the end of the day we all have a choice about what we consume online and its all about being sensible.
Due to my thirst for knowledge the internet sometimes does affect my sleep: I have been known to be on my phone until the early hours reading Wikipedia or watching YouTube videos. It could be worse I guess, I could be on Facebook trying to promote my perfect existence like the rest of them.
Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us
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florida hospital insurance quote
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florida hospital insurance quote
florida hospital insurance quote
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What are insurance rates on a ninja zx 6r?
What are insurance rates on a ninja zx 6r?
Health Insurance in NC?
Recommendations for Health Insurance in NC for adult and Child. Any good experiences with service and cost?
Wtever happened to insurance rates going down when you turn 25.?
My record has 1 ticket in the last 5 years and I'm still taking it in the pooper.
""If you pay late on your insurance, how quickly will an insurance company drop you?""
Aren't there always other reasons to drop people from insurance? Loopholes, loopholes.""
What is a good family health insurance plan?
I am looking for affordable health Insurance for my family. 2 adults and 3 children. My husbands job moves alot so we need something that has national coverage and we are not interested in the health care discount plans. we are looking for a heath Insurance plan with low dr visit copay's and a prescription drug plan. If any one knows of one pls leave me the information. Right now we are in Texas and we have a home address in Tennessee. Thanks
Small business insurance?
My friend is starting a small handyman business, and we were discussing liability insurance. Does anyone know the requirements for the state of FL and any decent and affordable companies?""
How's health insurance in london?pls help?
i was diagnosed with some major illness in the US and have no insurance cant afford paying for it.i heard the health insurance is free in london, is it possible to move there for recovery? if so how long would it take me to get accepted as immigrant and fully recovered?""
How much do commercial bus companies pay for insurance?
I have heard that commercial bus insurance is very expensive, but I can't seem to find a website or forum that gives an estimation of cost. Do insurance companies per bus, or per driver, or both? What is the cost average per bus and per driver?""
Question about auto insurance?
Okay, I'm really stupid when it comes to this stuff, so don't laugh at this. I have a vehicle insured under my name. If my friend is driving it, would she be covered whether I'm present or not? Does it matter at all if she has her own auto insurance?""
Cheap Health Insurance in Arizona?
My dad and I haven't been to the doctor in years, he's almost 55 and it's really time he gets a checkup. Unfortunately, we're not the richest the people but we make too much to get state insurance. I was wondering if there are any cheap insurance options. The cheapest I've been able to find is $133 a month which is still pretty high for us. Oh and I'll be 19 in a few months, which seems to be the cutoff family insurance age.""
Should I get full coverage on my cavalier (Car insurance)?
I have a 2005 Chevy Cavalier, I currently have liability insurance. I've already been in an accident, and fortunately it was minor enough for me to get parts at a junkyard. Should I upgrade to full coverage? United auto insurance, wants $186 down and $147 monthly for 6 months. My current company wants $262 down and $131 a month, for 9 months. Which company is the better deal? Should I even get full coverage""
""When someone dies, does the family get money from their life insurance?""
When someone dies, does the family get money from their life insurance?""
Do I need car insurance if the car is already fully covered?
Okay, so i just got my license yesterday. The car that I would be driving is already fully insured by my boyfriend who I live with. I live in Cali. Do I personally still need insurance? Or will I be covered if I get in an accident since its fully covered?""
Motor Cycle Insurance for a Male under 25?
I am turning 16 in a few days and was browsing for motor cycle prices and insurance rates. A very slim possibility of buying one in the future. I live in California in the Sacramento area I am a male and turning 16. My parents tell me motor cycle insurance rates for males under 25 are crazy high, 600$ months or so and there would be no way they could afford that. Is this true? Can someone give me advice or confirm this?""
Need health insurance coverage for pregnancy?
I am currently pregnant with my first child and my fiance and I are both self-employed. We are looking for a new insurance policy the covers maternity care. The one we have now does not cover maternity and the hospital bills for the delivery seem to be quite high. Does anyone know of any companies that offer coverage?
Insurance Question ??
well im 16 and im most likey getting a car this weekend (the one i want is a 1997 mitsubishi eclips spider convertible) i was just wondering how much insurance will be ?? thanks i realy need to know .
Cheapest car insurance company for my situation?
What company can provide me with the cheapest insurance? I am -19 years old -a student who is taking a semester off -female -hispanic -broke as hell My car is a white 1995 Geo Metro manual with a new lcutch and a bunch of brand new repairs on it.
Are you looking for affordable health insurance?
Are you looking for affordable health insurance?
florida hospital insurance quote
florida hospital insurance quote
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/vinton-iowa-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-52349-larry-spears/"
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Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
"Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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I am turning 16 soon and i would like to purchase or lease my own car.. Of course i will pay half of the insurance and as much of the lease price as i can... However, before i do anything... I would like to check a few things.. Is it possible for my mother to have two cars under her name/insurance while I am also registered in her insurance? Like me being registered under my mothers insurance because if i make my own insurance the cost is very expensive.... I tried calculating how much it would cost if my mom had a car under her and another car under my name (inside the same insurance) and it was around 800-900 dollars per month.... *This is ontario..* so is it possible to have two cars under my moms name and none under mine? and will it be expensive as me having a car under my name and the same for the other car under my moms name? thanks!""
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Applied online to AAA for an auto insurance quote.. Currenty with Geico and AAA ssent email offering to beat the rate.. So I completed the app online nad a gal calls me back.. My GF answers the phone and she gives it to me.. So the rep from AAA asks who is living with me and if she drives.. I told her a friend and she doesnt drive, no DL for over 10 years.. So AAA tells me I have to list her on the policy even if she isnt licensed and never drives a car.. So I said No thanks and said goodbye. whats the policy on roommates having to be insured for auto insurance? Not listed on my current GEICO policy.""
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Does skydiving increase insurance premiums?
I have been skydiving once (last year) and odds are that I won't do it again anytime soon. I have been told that I will now have to pay higher premiums on life insurance but ...show more
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Alright, this is part two of my question. To recap, on March 25 I was in a two car motor vehicle accident in California. I had no idea that my insurance had lapsed because I had moved before the notice was sent out. Therefore, I told the police that I had insurance under my current holder. Both parties feel the other person was at fault for this accident. My car was totaled while his only had minor damage. Myself and my passenger were hurt, while the other car's passengers werent. Now, my questions are as follows: 1. Do I need to call the police and let them know that I had no insurance, but just reinstated it yesterday? 2. Will I be facing jail time or just fines? I am willing to pay anything in order to clear this up. 3. Will I lose my license? 4. What other steps do I now need to take to resolve this issue? I've never had a wreck before and I have a clean criminal record, so I am a newbie to this process. Please help me!""
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Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
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Hello, I was looking to rent a car for about 1 month, but finding the rental companies insurance costly than the car itself. I called up few insurance companies and they are ready to provide me some cheap basic insurance for like about $75.00/month which covers liability, other car damages; but not the physical damage of my car (they said my credit card company should cover it). I discussed this with one of my friend and he said that the rental car company would not allowed you to rent a car on the renter's insurance. Is it true? If yes, then what could be the best way I can get a cheap and covered car insurance for my rental car for 1 month. Please suggest.""
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I have a ??? about car insurance?
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What is the insurance of Maybach car?
I live in the UK. I don't want sites referred to me, but just want an estimate of how much insurance would be""
Does the new Health care law say any thing about Dental and Vision insurance?
Does the new Health care law say any thing about Dental and Vision insurance? What does it say about those things Dental and vision? Is it going to make them cheaper and require them to cover more, like almost 100% of the bill for those services? When will this take affect? Will it require us to have them to? Will it give us more affordable options for Dental and Vision plans? What are they going to call affordable on those? I need a plan that will cover 100% of my Dental and Optical visits.""
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What would be insurance on this car?
I want to get this car http://autos.yahoo.com/used-cars/porsche-boxster-cars9383421;_ylt=AuxeS5bbXvapuk4oZXlD95JbVI54;_ylv=3?sortcol=absoluterank&sortdir=down&listingtype=used&model=&make=porsche&distance=any The price is great, but how mh would te insurance be? For a 16 year old""
What insurance rates do u all pay?
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350z insurance cost tx 16year old?
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I just started a new job and my employer seemed to forget to deduct my health insurance from my paycheck. I called the benefits department and they said I was signed up for the health insurance. I called the health insurance company and they said I'm signed up. I called the accounting department and they said I'm not signed up for health insurance. What happens now? Am I going to get hit with a huge bill for that not being withheld from my paycheck?
Car insurance?
I have hear that car insurance can be a little cheaper if its a 4 door. Is this true? I have a son getting ready to drive and I was wondering.
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
Cheaper on insurance 1980 lincoln or a 1995 blazer?
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I'm 17 years old. I have a 1995 Toyota Camry and I'm currently looking for affordable car insurance since my parents told me that I'm responsible for finding/paying my car insurance. I am a senior in high school and work part time, making around $160-$280 every paycheck (EVERY TWO WEEKS). I really need help!!!!! Thanks for listening!""
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So I got into a car accident, both cars totalled. I have insurance for the car and the other person does not have insurance, what happens? thanks""
Cheap Car Insurance in Kentucky?
Next month my husband and I are going to need to get car insurance. So this month I'm shopping around for the best deals. I was wondering which were the best rated or cheapest companies that are for drivers in Kentucky. I'm looking for companies with good discounts too please. Thank you.
I need help with Car Insurance... Please!?
I am a 17 year old male in the UK and have just passed my test on september 2012. I cannot get insured anywhere because they are all charging me at least 500 pound a month to be insured on my mams car (Corsa SXI 2002), i cannot afford this... obviously. I have tried almost every car insurance site and i cannot seem to find any cheaper than 500 pound a month! It is very frustrating because i am a very sensible driver. I need some help!!! Is there any cheap cars that i can buy that will make the insurance cheaper? Can you recommend any cheap or used cars that have cheap insurance for young drivers? Can you recommend any good insurance sites for young drivers? Please any help will do!!! Thank you""
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I got into an accident last weekend, and i just met with the apprasial guy from Nationwide(the guy who hit me insurance company). He said he is going to mail me a check and the amount is going to be his estimate..So im just wondering how much the check is going to be...There is about 8-9 scratches on my front bumper, and he said the garage is going to take off the bumper, repair it, repaint it, and then put it back on. So based on that, how much do you think the check will be? Car Details: Honda Accord EX 2000 Black Front bumper. Thanks in advance!""
What ammount of miles should I drive yearly to get a minimum insurance rate?
I think if you drive less than a certain ammount of miles, you get cheaper insurance. What ammount is ideal? Plus, how are an insurance company meant to know if you drive to School ...show more""
Should i trust AIS insurance broker company?
ais charges for broker fee only for one time, is that true? i have farmers right now. but AIS offer me mas cheaper insurance (mercury). but i'm not familiar with AIS company. do they have any headen charges that they never mention??? please help!!! thanks""
Can a minor in California purchase auto insurance?
I am 17 and I was wondering if I could just buy my own auto insurance instead of having to get on an adults insurance. I live in California.
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I am currently in England where I have medical coverage (NHS). I am an American and from California. I am having to move back to California, but obviously will not have medical insurance. What do I do? Can I still get insurance when I'm already pregnant? Can I qualify for medicare? How much am I looking at needing to pay? If anyone knows what happens when your pregnant in california with out insurance, that would be super. This is a family emergency which is making me need to move back. So please do not judge me because I am having to go somewhere with out insurance. Thank you.""
Best health insurance company?
Can someone recommend a health insurance company in CA that has affordable rates? Recently lost my job and need insurance for me and my family.
Could I set up my own car insurance company to insure myself?
In Canada, it is the law to have car insurance. Is it possible I could set up my own car insurance company to insure myself. I am aware that I would have to cover the damages of other cars involved in an accident, but am not sure if I would have to cover if an accident is fatal. Also, considering that I may have to cover damages in case of a fatality and other cars involved in an accident, would be more economical to just go with paying an insurance company?""
Where can I find cheap car insurance in Florida? Please help!?
I am a 16 year old girl and live in Florida. I have my learners permit and plan on getting my license in January. I waited awhile to get my permit and only a few months later I was involved in a car accident. My mother told me to go and we were hit from the side and then went into another car. Nobody was killed but two cars were totaled. I took a correction course and got rid of the points on my license. 6 months later I was in my friends car going to the mall when we stopped at a red light. A teenage boy behind us did not stop and we were rear ended. I went to the doctor and have a herniated disk in my lower back. My parents were going to buy me a car until they called our insurance company. They have USAA, who said i would be $500 a MONTH to insure me due to the multiple accidents I have been in. I didn't know they were allowed to charge someone for being a passenger in an accident that they were not at fault for! I need help in finding cheap insurance. Any suggestions?""
""Any good, affordable companies to get life and disability insurance from?""
Any good, affordable companies to get life and disability insurance from?""
Will my insurance cost raise up if I got hit and run?
Hello, couple days ago I've visited to my friend's house and parked the car properly close to the curb in the street, and as I came back I found my car hit badly all the way from rear tail-lights through all the way to the front part of the car(hood) which apparently caused lots of damage, which after I reported to my insurance company(my insurance company is FOREMOST) and took the car to a bodyshop, a few days later the estimator visited to bodyshop valued the damage worth of 8500$, so my question is` will my monthly bill raise up cause of this hit and run which obviously I'm not at fault at all?(note: we've two other cars under the same policy, so three cars in total), so IF my insurance bill will raise up, how much approx. it will raise? and WHEN?(will it raise right on my next bill or by the renewal time?) AND if it raise up too much can I just cancel this insurance(for the entire policy including the other 2 cars) and get another insurance for a decent price? thanks. some info: I'm from California, Los Angeles, this is first hit and run I've reported and my payments always been made properly so no a single late payment or anything, thanks.""
Can a person that is temporarily non-UK tax resident to be the policy holder in her own car insurance policy?
In May this year , my wife got a job in a joint venture abroad. Her contract is for 3 years after which she will return home Due to obvious reasons , for the above period she is a non-UK tax pay resident. The insurance policy of the car she is the owner and policy holder of is about to expire very soon. Is she legally allowed to renew her policy as main policy holder or not?""
Cost to insure 2013 honda civic si?
Cost to insure 2013 honda civic si?
I have a question about car insurance in N.C.? I REALLY NEED AN ANSWER????????????????
okay, im 15, im about to get a car signed over to my name, what im wanting to do is have it in my name, work out the problems with it over the years, then by the time i get my license, it'll be running nice and good so i dont have to worry about it, sounds simple huh? well i've only encountered one problem with this, and that is my mom says that you need to have car insurance to be able to own a car by law. so the whole time that i own the car, fixing it up and stuff, (when im not driving it), ill have to pay car insurance on it, i dont have a job yet, so i dont wanna dig a ditch that i cant get out of, so by law in N.C., do i have to have to have car insurance on a car, if i dont have my license, and im not driving it, i guesse a simpler way to put it is do i have to have insurance on a sitting car. an answer is crucial and best answer gets 10 points, please help thank you""
""There have been caps of $250K for healthcare lawsuits in California for years, and insurance premiums didnt?
....go down one cent! If fact they are still among the highest in the country. How will this help reform healthcare according to conservatives? When in fact all it does is funnel more cash into their Wall Street supporters pockets?
Why should we be responsible for a person who elects not to buy health insurance?
Or any insurance for that matter...
Domino's Pizza Delivery Driver- do you need commercial insurance?
I have an interview today for a job at Domino's Pizza to be a delivery driver. My only concern about it is right now I have personal insurance. If I were to get in an accident while delivering a pizza for domino's, would I still be covered? I'd like to hear from actual insurance reps or people who have had experience with this.""
Is the general car insurance a good car insurance company?
i just recently started hearing about it and im looking for a cheap car insurance company but from the commercials it says like $40 or something i dont remember the exact price but its really cheap. i know it depends on where u live and the type of car u have etc, but i just want to know overall is it better for me to get than for example getting century 21, where the quote was $300 -.- (yes im young and have an audi) does anyone have it? is it safe to apply for? and some ppl actually think its a scam?""
What is a reasonable cost estimate of business insurance for a cottage rental?
Looking to estimate small business insurance for a single unit cottage rental we are purchasing.
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
Insurance Raise after Car Accident?
Does your insurance rates actually go up after an accident? If yes, how many accidents can you have before it increase? OR is it depending on how much the accident is in order for your payments to increase?""
I was banned for drink driving does anyone know any cheap insurance companys?
before anyone says i know i was stupid but i was just over the limit, im looking at buying a nissan micra or something small and i wanted to know where to get the cheapest car insurance""
Do I have to make an appointment to get car insurance ??
or do i go in the car insurance building and they give me insurance that day ??
I have a question about auto insurance?????
The other day someone was giving me a ride. We stopped by a store and when i opened the door i scratched a ladies car. The lady was pretty mad and she took the license plate number and the name of the insurance. Today the guy that gave me a ride says that she called the his insurance and now i have to pay the cost of the damage. Is this guy pulling my leg or can this be true?
Car insurance for young driver?
I was wandering if I bought insurance for a car that I own on a provisional, drove it about on the provisional for a bit, then passed my test and told the insurance company that I had done so, would it shoot up to the 5,000/6,000 quotes I've been getting or would it not rise as high because I was with them on a provisional? also any general tips on knocking down the price, it's just ridiculous, it's for a 5 door fiat punto! thanks in advance :)""
How much would car/motorbike insurance cost me?
My parents decided to move out somewhere where I have no tube connection and need to take stupid bus or train everywhere and it would take me ages to see my boyfriend which would live then like just 25 minutes away from me but 1h 10minutes by public transport. So here is my question, I'm only 18 and I want to know how much would car insurance cost me, if it's a lot then I was thinking about getting scooter or motorbike but I'm sure those need insurance too so how much would that be too ??""
What will happen if i go without auto insurance for a few days?
i just purchased a new car and only took the insurance cuz i wanted to drive the car off the lot. so i now have found a cheaper & better insurance company. i know i can cancel my policy with in thirty days and get a prorated refund and must show proof of new insurance. so what i am asking if i go without insurance for like a week and then buy new insurance will the rates go up because i went without insur. or will they go up because i just didnt pay the other insurance on time? can i stil cancel and get a refund if i come in a few days later than the due date? help!!
How much does medical insurance for a newborn cost monthly with a premium?
I just need an average. I'm doing a project for my health class on the costs of having a baby.
What is the best car insurance for a first car and someone in the early 20s?
Hey guys.. So, i'm only 22 years old and i'm looking to to buy my first car really soon but first i want to find a good and affordable insurance agency. So far i'm looking to compare the following insurance companies: Geico, State Farm, Progressive, State Farm, etc. Any other suggestions would also come in handy.. Thank You!.""
Full coverage car insurance?
my daughter 27 years old was in a car accident was not injury,but the car was total and had full coverage insurance,because it was finance. she owned about $10,000 on the car now the insurance will only pay $7,000 on the car because the blue book say that what it is worth. i have never heard of that, full coverage is full coverage. so has anyone ever heard of this? we live in indiana thank you""
What home owner insurance do I need to purchase?
If I buy an apartment and pays the HOA fee, does that cover the basic homeowner insurance?""
Affordable Dental Insurance?
I am looking to get individual Dental Insurance (PPO) for myself. I have to get some major work done 4 root canals and 1 extraction ASAP! Can anyone recommend a good affordable insurance??
Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?
Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?
17 year old 1 day insurance?
Any insurance companies do 1 day insurance for 17 year olds?
Do i need insurance for a project vehicle?
I am looking to get a project car to build until i can drive do i need insurance
Buying auto insurance?
Can two brother's buy auto insurance regardless of if they live together or not?
I deliver pizza. I was told car my car insurance wont cover a crash.?
THey said if i have the pizza sign on my car and get hit insurance wont cover me but without the sign i will be?
Does my husband need his own insurance on another car?
my husband was insured on his car but its now sold and the insurance run out yesterday, he also drives his business partners car on which he is a named driver on the insurance, now his insurance on his own car has expired is he still covered to drive his partners car even tho he dosent have his own policy? im unsure how it works so just want to double check..""
""If someone hits your car and you don't have insurance but you weren't driving it, will they still pay?""
If someone hits your car and you don't have insurance but you weren't driving it, will they still pay?""
I'm moving to florida from new jersey.?
Anything I should know before I move? Like is rent cheaper or auto insurance or like anything that would surprise me?
Insurance for 1 day...?
I'm going to prom and I have a car but I can't drive it till the summer because that is when my parents wanted to get me insurance for me. The problem is I have prom this Saturday and I really want to go by myself without my parents dropping me off. I can't ride with friends cause I have a date. Just rule that idea out. Please help. Is there anyway I can have insurance for a day or something? It's just for one night and I have my license.
Average Insurance Price for 2-Door Car?
17 year old male.
Car insurance PLEASE HELP!!!!?
Will it increase my insurance premium if I have more people listed under my insurance who can drive my car thanks so much. i currently have state farm
Car insurance with teenagers.?
My mom and I have been checking around for cars to buy because I have a scholarship and one college class right now, and I need the transportation so that I can go to study sessions for the college class, and to the meetings for my scholarship. We really don't have a lot of money. I work but only on Saturday because of school. My mom has Progressive right now and she checked how much it would be to have me and a new car on the insurance and it is a whopping $500 a month (her, her truck, me, and my car included).. We need an insurance company that isn't going to cost us a 1/4 of our income. At first we were looking at older cars under $2500. Then my mom was thinking it would be better to get me a new car with good gas mileage so she wouldn't have to worry about me being safe and not breaking down on the side of the road... But we can afford a new car, not with our down payment. The monthly payments are too high. So now we are going back to the older cars, and if we have a fully paid for vehicle, I am sure the insurance won't be as high. But here it, I am 16 years old, took driver's ed and have an insurance waiver that is supposed to bring the insurance down 10%. I also have good grades, a scholarship, a job, etc.. These things should look good to the insurance and bring the cost down.. I am safe driver as well.. Not driving far daily at all. Basically back and forth from school and to those meetings and study sessions every now and then. Any suggestions as to what car to look for and what insurace company we should go with? Thanks, in advance.""
Cars that come with cheap car insurance. Thank you?
Cars that come with cheap car insurance. Thank you?
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
Northwood North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58267
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-quotes-auto-renters-jeremy-cox/"
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apsbicepstraining · 7 years
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3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News
()
There were two lat-pulldown stations situated next to each other in this gym I belonged to many years ago. On one of them was an older dame who was lifting, if recall serves, 10 pounds. I can only assume that she misconstrued the name of the utilization and thought it was a lap pulldown, because thats where the bar intention up when she wheeled it down the figurehead of her torso.
On the contiguous machine was a guy who was lifting, if remember provides, the entire heavines stack, or most of it. He rose off the seat at the beginning of each rep to assistant him get the load moving, and then leaned back at a 45 -degree angle to get the bar to his chest. The deeper he got into his set, the more force and figure English he employed.
Related : THE 21 -DAY METASHREDan At-Home Body-Shredding Program That Will Ignite Your Metabolism, Torch Fat, and Build the Body Youve Always Wanted( One Guy Lost 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks !)
Two people, two completely different ideas about how to do one of the most basic efforts in the gym. And both of them completely wrong.
If you walked into that same gym today, chances are youd watch multiple versions of exerts hardly anyone did a decade ago, like planks and kettlebell changes. Those are in addition to the classic exerts, the simple ones that every lifter has done as long as hes been filching, but may not be doing in a way that helps him reach his goals.
Theres more free info than ever, and yet form hasnt improved, mentioned Nick Tumminello, columnist of the upcoming Building Muscle and Performance: A Program for Size, Strength, and Speed, and a coach based in Fort Lauderdale. Husband are stubborn, and they always think they know better.
Flawed exercise form certainly comes down to three fundamental problems TAGEND
Lack of control
Poor stability
Misreading the item of the exercise
Lets tackle them in that order.
Control issues
Most beings are in the gym to do bodybuilding, Tumminello enunciated. That is, to build muscle. But most people in the gym instruct like weightlifters, where the goals and targets is to removing the heavines . Theres a big difference. Bodybuilding is about checking the weight through the entire series of motion.
Take the lateral invoke, for example. The space most guys do it, Tumminello mentioned, is to shaking the heavines up, and let it disintegrate down.
But the entire level of the rehearsal is to target the middle-of-the-road part of the deltoid muscles. To establish them proliferate, you need to made them under strain. Theyre under the most tension at the top of the stray of the motionthe segment everyone cheats through, he says.
RELATED: 10 Cardio Practises That Burn More Calories Than Operating
You see this over and over in activities designed to target specific muscles, includes the lat pulldowns I described at the beginning. Tumminello also mentioned the bent-over barbell sequence: Theyll pluck it halfway with good form, then jolt it the rest of the way.
He furnishes a simple fix TAGEND
Select a weight you can hold at the point of maximum friction, with good form.
If you cant accommodated it four to five seconds, then the loads too damned heavy, he answered. You dont necessary to brace it when you civilize, but thats how you should research it.
For most bodybuilding exerciseslateral conjures, lat pulldowns, bent-over or accommodated rowsyou can experiment your weight at the end of the scope of gesture. For biceps bends, its the midpoint, when your forearms are parallel to the floor.
Or you are able to make it simpler, and exactly remember which part of the raising you typically have to cheater to get through. If you cant hamper it there for a few seconds, try using a lighter weight.
Bad posture
Picture these four rehearsals TAGEND
Plank
Pushup
Loaded carry
Bear crawl
What do they have in common? If you answered, Theyre all the same exercise, youre a lot smarter than me. It never resulted to me until Alwyn Cosgrove, my coauthor on the New Rules of Lifting books, excused it.
Of course they dont looking alike. But the key to good form is exactly the same: Whatever your posture is standing up straight-from-the-shoulder, thats what it should be when youre doing a timber, or a moving plank( aka pushup ), or a walk-to plank( aka loaded carry ), or a scooting plank( aka bear creeping ).
On the plank, pushup, and carry you should be able to draw a straight line from your ears through your shoulders, hips, and ends. On the bring crawling, the line should connect your ears, shoulders, and hips, with your torso parallel to the floor.
RELATED: 5 Guys Who Wake Up at 4 A.M. to Labor Out Tell You How They Do It
The most common mistakes are postural. With the plank, pushup, and bear crawling, you verify these almost every day TAGEND
persisting your butt in the air
letting your stomach sag toward the floor
promoting your foreman to check out the form of the person in front of you
On a pushup, you can tell if youre elevating your as when your nose reaches the storey ahead of your chest. If your stomach is sagging on a board or pushup, youll possibly feel it as an unpleasant strain in your lower back. And if you find yourself mesmerized by the person in front of you on any of these employs, youre perhaps face-lift your head.
The biggest problems on loaded carries entered when the heavines is held to one side, as in a suitcase carry. Mistakes might include TAGEND
Bending to the side comprising the weight
Overcompensating for the heavines by stooping to the opposite side
Leaning back and flaring your rib cage out
You can self-correct the first two issues by attaches great importance. If youre dispassionate, you should be able to tell if youre standing up straight-from-the-shoulder. If its a battle, lowering the weight.
A good self-check for the latter question is to target your non-weight-bearing hand on your sternum. If you feel your underside ribs start to move forward, settle your posture.
Cognitive disappointment
Return for a moment to the confused dame at the lat-pulldown station, the one pluck the bar down to her hips. Clearly, she didnt understand that the aims of the activity is to engage muscles in her midriff and upper back, and to do that she needed to select a reasonably challenging weight and attract the bar to her chest.
I recollected it because its not something you picture every day.
But there are a few usually misunderstood exercisings youll appreciate on a regular basis. Tumminello mentioned the hang knee parent. As ab usages move, its about as hard-core as the majority of members of us will ever get. But thats their own problems: Most of us cant actually do the activity correctly.
To do it right, Tumminello told, you need to tilt your pelvis upward, something thats hellaciously difficult from a dead hang. Instead, most guys will merely lift their knees, a crusade that works the hip-flexor muscles on the figurehead of the pelvis but doesnt project the rectus abdominis, the six-pack muscle, through the intended scope of motion.
RELATED : 38 Dumbbell Exercises Youve Probably Never Seen
If you cant do that pelvic tiltand as I enunciated, few of us canthen youre much better served by doing the reverse crunch from the storey or an incline bench.
Another common mistake involves usages for the opposite side of the torso. When you do a kettlebell swing, the goals and targets is to move the load by straightening your hips. That commits the potent glute and hamstring muscles. Your limbs and shoulder are precisely along for the ride.
But before you can arrange your hips, you have to load them by pushing them downwards. If you dont do that, you cant generate the force are required to swing the load out in front of you. Thats whether you are look so many parties return the swing into a front invoke: theyll various kinds of squat down, and then gather the weight up overhead utilizing their shoulder muscles.
A good shake, by compare, should end up somewhere between waist and chest stature. One route to tell if youre going it right: the bell exits precisely a bit higher than your hands at the opening of the move. If youre hoisting it with your forearms and shoulders, itll do the opposite, and end up below your hands.( For a full seminar on how to do the usage, check out The Right Way to Do a Kettlebell Swing .)
How to do any employ better
The lessons of these nine exerciseslateral promote, bent-over sequence, plank, pushup, bear crawling, loaded carry, lat pulldown, hanging knee grow, kettlebell swingcan be applied to any utilization you try. You just need to ask yourself three queries TAGEND 1. What is the point of the rehearsal ?
If the goal is to build muscle, then focus on developing strain in specific targeted muscles, and dont employ momentum to blow through that the members of the exercise.
2. What should my form look like while doing the workout ?
This is trickier, because on numerous rehearsals its hard to check your figure without divulging figure to look at yourself. And thats only if you have a mirror nearby. Without one, you have to pay attention to your form signals. If you feel a strain in your lower back on a board or pushup, thats your clue to work on your alignment.
3. What activities should and shouldnt be involved ?
This is even trickier, and may require coaching, or at least some reading outside the gym. Most parties looking at a kettlebell swaying would think the goals and targets is to lift the load up in front of you, so it reaches sense that youd use your limbs and shoulders. If nothing tells you its all in the hips, how would you know?
Which makes me to perhaps the most reliable clue: When other lifters stop, gaze, and then shake their tops as they walk away, you can be pretty sure youre doing something wrong.
Lou Schuler is an award-winning journalist and contributing editor to Mens Health. Check out his new book Strong: Nine Workout Programs For Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength For Life, with coauthor Alwyn Cosgrove .
This article initially appeared on MensHealth.com .
The post 3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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you know what. this. this whole not a fucking relationship but still together but not. this is okay. the rest of my life, not so okay. but this is okay. i am thankful today. all night all i heard was peoples relationship drama. and like.. really dumb ass menial shit that amounts to nothing but its everything because these people have created an ideal relationship and how ppl are "supposed" to behave while ignoring the fact theyre dealing with a human being. but u knoe what. i didnt even get this until now. like over the past few months and living in this situation and analyzing my reasons for doing what i do - i get it. this is like a totally next level relationship which is unmatched by anyone i know. we totally did the right thing. of all the wrong things in our life and every mistake we made we did the right thing. because were friends. and we were good friends. we made active choices to be around each other for purposes other than fucking and we spend a majority of our time not fucking. but were not seperate completely, my past relationships we filled our time with watching tv or video games and it was so fucked. i spent years sittint beside guys on a couch and thst amounted to our relationship. one friend was talking about her boyfriend being upset about how late she was out and wanting to hang out with her. i mean, who cares? thats actually nice. youre going to go home to someone. who wants to be around you. not relationship drama. just a needy guy. a second friend is on day two of fighting with her boyfriend because someone was angry and she escalated things by not allowing him space to think about what was happening and expectjng in depth emotional answers until he tells her to go fuck herself. just leave it alone. do you care. do you. hes grumpy about some next shit and youre ignoring the fact hes grumpy and expecting him to do all this shit and romance you. leave it alone. a third friend was worried her boyfriend was cheating so she went thriugh his facebook, saw something questionable then proceeded to try and fuck multiple guys instead of asking him in a reasonable way. he then caught her by going through her facebook too. because they shared a laptop between them and didnt clear passwords. the amount of time i have availabke to me with a phone that has no password and access to laptops i could know everything that ever happened in the past yr of his life. but do i need to know. do i want to know. if any of that shit effects me i trust hes going to tell me. i go out of my way to make it visibly respectful of his things. i also believe in no way at any time has he ever looked thriugh my things. he has never once even in anger blamed me or associated me with any fault towards cutting off his finger. which is right - i didnt cut off his finger. but he was doing these things because i asked. he was doing them because hed do just about anything for me that i asked that didnt compromise his freedom. instead he acknowledged how he made a decision that led to him traumatizing everyone that was around him and himself. and now we all live with that and i honestly believe he holds me sooo blameless - even when others joked about it being my fault hes ignored it - because i believe in his heart he truly thinks i dont need that. like for all the shit thats happened to me i dont need to have the weight of him telling me i caused him to literally lose a finger. for rhe rest of his life he will associate me and the finger. i will alqays be apart of him and this story. like.. its a bit of a joke but i think the perspective is like.. he thinks hes been run by women and theyve taken his money and caused him to do shitty things but this act was selfless. this was out of love. despite being disabled he wanted to do this for me. no benefit of his own. and what was probably inevitable happened. its actually admirable and sweet that we had developed a relationship that led to us collaborating with our strengths. imagine not being me and reading this and suddenly someone has lost a finger like all this time and now boom no finger. thats how it feels to lose one too. i feel so bad for him and he regularly says he wishes he didnt do it or that he cant believe he did it. i hold his hand and let him use his hand to touch me how he always would but of course its weird. of course. its not bad, but its weird. ive always tried to treat it as something normal. ljke this is just life now and this is normal and him missing this finger is normal ljke everyone else could be missing one too. you would never touch or do weird rhings to someones finger normally so i never do that to him. its not a bad tattoo, its a loss of an appendage and its like you know.. losing a finger - not the worst rhing. his life goes on with a shorter finger. he can do everything he did before. he lost nothing. but what never changes is a constant reminder that something once rhere is not there anymore. and that sucks. you never get over that. so its little things like gloves and he wears gloves all the time at work. he worked for months with unaltered gloves but i realized how depressing it must be to have this flap of fabric hanging there, making you constantlt know you fucked up. evergtime you see it and feel that fabric. so i cut all his gloves to fit half a finger. because i feel like it would feel good to put on somerhing that was made for your normal and not the majority. like you can feel like everyone else again and not have that reminder. if i could build him a finger, i think i would. if i can customize his gloves atleast its something. my new romantic dream set in more realistic standards is having his mother convert part of the basement to a studio apartment type thing. but thats really selfish of me because i want to keep my cats and the onlt way i could while living there is having this set up. i dont love him more than my cats. theyre with me more. theyve been with me longer. if he wont leave then let me come in. the other day he joked that my apartment searching was taking up attention from him. i said, "well, give me a place to live then." he laughed and paused, "i dont think so, no" i told him to shut the fuck up then and he feigned being shocked, "how could you say that, how could you tell me to shut the fuck up.." nothing has changed. thats actually the most that needs to be said in a conversation involving him as a solution. on both sides. you got nothing for me? shut the fuck up. leave me alone. he hasnt once offered me a solution, even temporarily. but i guess because its all my fault. and we fought - i was vehement about not needing his help. i didnt need to stay with him. i didnt need to move with him. i had a different worst case scenario plan and i still do. but its worst case. and its the last choice i want to make. he could even help me get a place he stays in part time and i could pay the other half and take care of the place. but thats another romantic dream. he doesnt want to pay rent. he doesnt want to ljve with me part time, or full time. for all i know hes fucking fhis old lady at a cottage right now and my romantic dreams will be totally useless time waster.
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Introduction Post
It’s been a while since I’ve been back to Tumblr.  Things got pretty good in my life and I didn’t need it as much.  For several years Tumblr was my crutch.  It was my way of fulfilling my human need for socialization and peer bonding.  That might sound sad and pathetic... :/  I’ve been mentally ill since 2008. Although I suspect that my issues go much further back and on into my childhood.  2008, when I was 19, may have just been when my brain just finally blew its breakers so to speak.  I was smoking a lot of pot back then.  Did some coricidins, and went into psychosis.  They originally diagnosed me with drug induced psychosis.  I of course didn’t believe I was sick, and I kept smoking pot, which prolonged my psychosis long enough for them to diagnose me with schizophrenia.  I lost all of my friends and even a lot of my family.  I no longer knew myself let alone anyone else.  I had to get to know my own mother again; learn who she was.  Some of my family I never got to know again, because they demonized me for being ill.
For a while I didn’t leave my house, and if I did, I didn’t leave the car.  A trip to the grocery store meant a half and hour or more waiting in the car because I was too frightened to go inside.  My mom would get annoyed with me.  Flash forward a year or so, I would leave the house, but every where I went was a panic attack waiting to happen.  I would start feeling unsafe, my heart would start pounding, everything and everyone around me started feeling too close, too loud, too bright, and too threatening.  I started feeling that the people around me where going to hurt me, imprison me, or kill me. My mom was constantly pissed at me for running out of restaurants to smoke a cigarette during a meal... and then just never coming back inside.
I slowly got better.  Very slowly.  I didn’t regain a social life or my own personality.  I lost my liberal ideologies because of the catholic delusions I experienced during psychosis.  I had no original or individual ideas. I was sorta an asshat. A nice asshat with as much manners as my anxiety could not interfere with, but an asshat.
I thought life was always going to be completely bland.  I thought I was going to grow old in my childhood bedroom at my mothers house.  I wasn’t going to marry or have children. I had a lot of potential at one time.  I was beautiful, talented, creative, smart and passionate.  The anti-psychotics had taken me from a teeny tiny 96lbs at 4′11″ to 238 lbs.  I had acne all over my face. It’s riddled with scars.  I never had acne before the medications. I stopped having periods.  I had two periods that started on their own and maybe 3-4 that were started with pills from my doctor in the span of 6 years. 5-6 periods in 6 years.  I felt broken.  I felt less like of a woman. I had no confidence left.  I spent all my time on Tumblr and watching my fandom shows. From age 19-25 I had very little contact with any one my age.  I felt like I was old before I ever got a chance to be young.
In 2012 or so I was diagnosed with schizoaffective.  Schizophrenia and bipolar.  There was also PTSD, Primary O OCD, shit tons of anxiety and depression, and some slight movement disorders from the drugs.
In July of 2014 I took myself off all of the drugs.  The CNP who was in charge of my case flipped out.  She called me non-compliant and a liar.  Even sent a nasty letter to my college financial aid.  She didn’t believe mental illness was an excuse for the symptoms of those mental illnesses.  I’ve ran into that a lot over the years.  Even from the people who claim to be the most supportive.  My mother thinks she is the champion of my mental health.  Maybe she is in her own ways.  But there are things she has never quite grasped.  She could never understand why I couldn’t clean the entire house if being unemployed gave me all the time in the world to do so. Being on Tumblr made her think I was childish.  She had even me convinced that because of trauma I was stuck at 16 years old and would always be a child.  She treated me like a lazy bratty teenager instead of recognizing my symptoms.  She had people in my family doing the same.  Calling me to lecture me.  Telling me I should be praying for the health of other people if I wanted to get better.  My aunt told me that she has to force herself out of bed some days to get to work. As to say, you aren’t the only one who has depression.  That I should be able to deal with it better and not complain.  Other people had it worse.  Well after 7 years in bed I finally forced myself out the front door, so to speak, so perhaps her argument almost had a leg to stand on.
After going off meds, I started to regain myself.  I got a lot of shit.  Everything I said happened to me during the day was still perceived with a lot of skepticism.  If I said someone said something to me at the store, no matter what it was, or how believable, I was still asked, “Are you sure that’s what happened.”
In 2015 I met a guy online and we started dating.  We were extremely happy.  He helped me find who I was again.  I started to remember myself.  Which so happens to be a somewhat bitchy siren cunt from a feminist dimension on the other side of a portal that popped out of a earthy hippie chick’s mirror.... Or well something like that.   Sometimes I’m a complete mother hen to my friends, I worry about them.  I do things for them.  I take care of everyone in my small circle.  I stress and I panic and I cook and I drive a mini van.  I get angry when someone threatens who and what I love and that anger comes out of me like a tidal wave.  I even found out that I act quick in an emergency.
In August of 2015 I started having convulsions and an abnormal gait.  A year and a half later I am doing somewhat better.  I have found that the shaking and inability to walk is a manifestation of my anxiety.  It only happens when my anxiety has been triggered, specifically during PTSD episodes.  A loud noise could send me to the floor screaming and shaking.  It made me feel scared at first.  The life I had just regained was ending all over again.  But it has subsided quite a lot.
My boyfriend was put in jail for a DUI on Nov 2 2015.  My mental health deteriorated without him. I felt lost in a void.  He got out Feb 25 2016 and I felt so far from him.  He didn’t seem real.  Where before he was the only thing breaking through my dissociation.  I could touch him then and he was as far away as all the rest of reality.  I still refused to start meds again.  The meds kept me sick.  I needed to be able to deal with this all on my own.  I still do.  The meds are not my answer.
My boyfriend was also having issues of his own.  He was taking half his klonopin pills as soon as he got the bottles.  He lost his job.  He was awful on the pills.  I finally told him it was the pills or me.  He flushed them and it hasnt been a problem since.  Although, I did worry he would resent me for it. 
He and I have had a lot of problems here recently.  We moved into out own apartment in September 2016.  He has been working 2nd shift and staying up all night, sleeping all day.  This has left me alone a lot.  I don’t feel like he listens to a lot that I say.  He’s constantly irritating me with sexist remarks.  He’s constantly turning my arguments into his.  I don’t let him.  I call him on his bullshit every time.  He will interrupt me talking about what’s important to me so he can talk about some random ass shit that had nothing to do with anything.  Which wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t talk for half an hour.  If I interrupt him to finish what I was saying for five seconds he uses that as an excuse to say that I’m the real problem.  I suppose that’s half the time.  The other half we get along really well.  Like really well.  Which is wonderful.
I still want to marry him.  I want to have his baby. I want to beat him with a frying pan and then snuggle with him while we watch Supernatural.  Did I mention we finally started trying to conceive now that I can have periods again.  First month we tried was this last month.  My cycle is 33 days. So I started testing like a crazy person 14dpo... everything has been negative.  I’m now a week late on my period and my tests are so negative they aren’t even getting evap lines anymore( I test all the time even though we weren’t officially trying til this last month).  My lady bits totally choked with 10 seconds left in the game.
So I’ve been pretty depressed these last few weeks.  I’m stressed out.  I’m a taxi driver for my boyfriends brother.  Taking him everywhere, taking the boyfriend to work, driving my sister everyonce and a while.  I’m in a play.  Which only takes up about 9 hours a week.  Yet, I have been so stressed out that I’ve not been able to take care of myself.  I don’t have the energy to cook much, eat healthy, do laundry, bathe.  I’m gaining weight from easy junk food and lack of moving.  I mostly sit on the couch or in the driver’s seat.  I don’t have much time with anyone outside of giving them rides or during the time they are waiting for rides.  I get maybe two hours or less with my boyfriend a day during the week.  On the weekend I’m lucky to get time alone with him between calls for my help to do things for everyone else.  My need to help, it seems, always becomes expected by people.  I offer assistance a few times and their lives become my responsabilty.  I love them all, but I need them to understand that I sometimes need a break and they can’t call me for everything, without making them feel like they can’t call me for anything.
TL;DR So that’s sorta where I’ve been and where I’m at now.  That was actually somewhat brief... O.o  Basically, I’ve felt completely unimportant and without justification for my existence here lately and I’m back to Tumblr as my crutch for a bit.  Somewhere I can feel like I have a mild place to call home; away from a life that seems to just be one giant mental illness prison following me around and stalking me for the better part of a decade. 
(EDIT: Since being off medications, my schizophrenic symptoms have subsided.  All that remains is the bipolar and multiple anxiety based disorders.  Although I do hear voices occasionally, I know that those voices are simply my own feelings that weren’t quite addressed by my conscious mind floating up from my subconscious.  For example I could feel a swelling of happiness in my chest for my boyfriend and hear a voice that says, “I love him.” )
If you got this far congratulations and thank you, here are some XOXOs for your trouble.
<3 Kat
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apsbicepstraining · 7 years
Text
3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News
()
There were two lat-pulldown stations situated next to each other in this gym I belonged to many years ago. On one of them was an older dame who was lifting, if recall serves, 10 pounds. I can only assume that she misconstrued the name of the utilization and thought it was a lap pulldown, because thats where the bar intention up when she wheeled it down the figurehead of her torso.
On the contiguous machine was a guy who was lifting, if remember provides, the entire heavines stack, or most of it. He rose off the seat at the beginning of each rep to assistant him get the load moving, and then leaned back at a 45 -degree angle to get the bar to his chest. The deeper he got into his set, the more force and figure English he employed.
Related : THE 21 -DAY METASHREDan At-Home Body-Shredding Program That Will Ignite Your Metabolism, Torch Fat, and Build the Body Youve Always Wanted( One Guy Lost 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks !)
Two people, two completely different ideas about how to do one of the most basic efforts in the gym. And both of them completely wrong.
If you walked into that same gym today, chances are youd watch multiple versions of exerts hardly anyone did a decade ago, like planks and kettlebell changes. Those are in addition to the classic exerts, the simple ones that every lifter has done as long as hes been filching, but may not be doing in a way that helps him reach his goals.
Theres more free info than ever, and yet form hasnt improved, mentioned Nick Tumminello, columnist of the upcoming Building Muscle and Performance: A Program for Size, Strength, and Speed, and a coach based in Fort Lauderdale. Husband are stubborn, and they always think they know better.
Flawed exercise form certainly comes down to three fundamental problems TAGEND
Lack of control
Poor stability
Misreading the item of the exercise
Lets tackle them in that order.
Control issues
Most beings are in the gym to do bodybuilding, Tumminello enunciated. That is, to build muscle. But most people in the gym instruct like weightlifters, where the goals and targets is to removing the heavines . Theres a big difference. Bodybuilding is about checking the weight through the entire series of motion.
Take the lateral invoke, for example. The space most guys do it, Tumminello mentioned, is to shaking the heavines up, and let it disintegrate down.
But the entire level of the rehearsal is to target the middle-of-the-road part of the deltoid muscles. To establish them proliferate, you need to made them under strain. Theyre under the most tension at the top of the stray of the motionthe segment everyone cheats through, he says.
RELATED: 10 Cardio Practises That Burn More Calories Than Operating
You see this over and over in activities designed to target specific muscles, includes the lat pulldowns I described at the beginning. Tumminello also mentioned the bent-over barbell sequence: Theyll pluck it halfway with good form, then jolt it the rest of the way.
He furnishes a simple fix TAGEND
Select a weight you can hold at the point of maximum friction, with good form.
If you cant accommodated it four to five seconds, then the loads too damned heavy, he answered. You dont necessary to brace it when you civilize, but thats how you should research it.
For most bodybuilding exerciseslateral conjures, lat pulldowns, bent-over or accommodated rowsyou can experiment your weight at the end of the scope of gesture. For biceps bends, its the midpoint, when your forearms are parallel to the floor.
Or you are able to make it simpler, and exactly remember which part of the raising you typically have to cheater to get through. If you cant hamper it there for a few seconds, try using a lighter weight.
Bad posture
Picture these four rehearsals TAGEND
Plank
Pushup
Loaded carry
Bear crawl
What do they have in common? If you answered, Theyre all the same exercise, youre a lot smarter than me. It never resulted to me until Alwyn Cosgrove, my coauthor on the New Rules of Lifting books, excused it.
Of course they dont looking alike. But the key to good form is exactly the same: Whatever your posture is standing up straight-from-the-shoulder, thats what it should be when youre doing a timber, or a moving plank( aka pushup ), or a walk-to plank( aka loaded carry ), or a scooting plank( aka bear creeping ).
On the plank, pushup, and carry you should be able to draw a straight line from your ears through your shoulders, hips, and ends. On the bring crawling, the line should connect your ears, shoulders, and hips, with your torso parallel to the floor.
RELATED: 5 Guys Who Wake Up at 4 A.M. to Labor Out Tell You How They Do It
The most common mistakes are postural. With the plank, pushup, and bear crawling, you verify these almost every day TAGEND
persisting your butt in the air
letting your stomach sag toward the floor
promoting your foreman to check out the form of the person in front of you
On a pushup, you can tell if youre elevating your as when your nose reaches the storey ahead of your chest. If your stomach is sagging on a board or pushup, youll possibly feel it as an unpleasant strain in your lower back. And if you find yourself mesmerized by the person in front of you on any of these employs, youre perhaps face-lift your head.
The biggest problems on loaded carries entered when the heavines is held to one side, as in a suitcase carry. Mistakes might include TAGEND
Bending to the side comprising the weight
Overcompensating for the heavines by stooping to the opposite side
Leaning back and flaring your rib cage out
You can self-correct the first two issues by attaches great importance. If youre dispassionate, you should be able to tell if youre standing up straight-from-the-shoulder. If its a battle, lowering the weight.
A good self-check for the latter question is to target your non-weight-bearing hand on your sternum. If you feel your underside ribs start to move forward, settle your posture.
Cognitive disappointment
Return for a moment to the confused dame at the lat-pulldown station, the one pluck the bar down to her hips. Clearly, she didnt understand that the aims of the activity is to engage muscles in her midriff and upper back, and to do that she needed to select a reasonably challenging weight and attract the bar to her chest.
I recollected it because its not something you picture every day.
But there are a few usually misunderstood exercisings youll appreciate on a regular basis. Tumminello mentioned the hang knee parent. As ab usages move, its about as hard-core as the majority of members of us will ever get. But thats their own problems: Most of us cant actually do the activity correctly.
To do it right, Tumminello told, you need to tilt your pelvis upward, something thats hellaciously difficult from a dead hang. Instead, most guys will merely lift their knees, a crusade that works the hip-flexor muscles on the figurehead of the pelvis but doesnt project the rectus abdominis, the six-pack muscle, through the intended scope of motion.
RELATED : 38 Dumbbell Exercises Youve Probably Never Seen
If you cant do that pelvic tiltand as I enunciated, few of us canthen youre much better served by doing the reverse crunch from the storey or an incline bench.
Another common mistake involves usages for the opposite side of the torso. When you do a kettlebell swing, the goals and targets is to move the load by straightening your hips. That commits the potent glute and hamstring muscles. Your limbs and shoulder are precisely along for the ride.
But before you can arrange your hips, you have to load them by pushing them downwards. If you dont do that, you cant generate the force are required to swing the load out in front of you. Thats whether you are look so many parties return the swing into a front invoke: theyll various kinds of squat down, and then gather the weight up overhead utilizing their shoulder muscles.
A good shake, by compare, should end up somewhere between waist and chest stature. One route to tell if youre going it right: the bell exits precisely a bit higher than your hands at the opening of the move. If youre hoisting it with your forearms and shoulders, itll do the opposite, and end up below your hands.( For a full seminar on how to do the usage, check out The Right Way to Do a Kettlebell Swing .)
How to do any employ better
The lessons of these nine exerciseslateral promote, bent-over sequence, plank, pushup, bear crawling, loaded carry, lat pulldown, hanging knee grow, kettlebell swingcan be applied to any utilization you try. You just need to ask yourself three queries TAGEND 1. What is the point of the rehearsal ?
If the goal is to build muscle, then focus on developing strain in specific targeted muscles, and dont employ momentum to blow through that the members of the exercise.
2. What should my form look like while doing the workout ?
This is trickier, because on numerous rehearsals its hard to check your figure without divulging figure to look at yourself. And thats only if you have a mirror nearby. Without one, you have to pay attention to your form signals. If you feel a strain in your lower back on a board or pushup, thats your clue to work on your alignment.
3. What activities should and shouldnt be involved ?
This is even trickier, and may require coaching, or at least some reading outside the gym. Most parties looking at a kettlebell swaying would think the goals and targets is to lift the load up in front of you, so it reaches sense that youd use your limbs and shoulders. If nothing tells you its all in the hips, how would you know?
Which makes me to perhaps the most reliable clue: When other lifters stop, gaze, and then shake their tops as they walk away, you can be pretty sure youre doing something wrong.
Lou Schuler is an award-winning journalist and contributing editor to Mens Health. Check out his new book Strong: Nine Workout Programs For Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength For Life, with coauthor Alwyn Cosgrove .
This article initially appeared on MensHealth.com .
The post 3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rbud5u via IFTTT
0 notes
apsbicepstraining · 7 years
Text
3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News
()
There were two lat-pulldown stations situated next to each other in this gym I belonged to many years ago. On one of them was an older dame who was lifting, if recall serves, 10 pounds. I can only assume that she misconstrued the name of the utilization and thought it was a lap pulldown, because thats where the bar intention up when she wheeled it down the figurehead of her torso.
On the contiguous machine was a guy who was lifting, if remember provides, the entire heavines stack, or most of it. He rose off the seat at the beginning of each rep to assistant him get the load moving, and then leaned back at a 45 -degree angle to get the bar to his chest. The deeper he got into his set, the more force and figure English he employed.
Related : THE 21 -DAY METASHREDan At-Home Body-Shredding Program That Will Ignite Your Metabolism, Torch Fat, and Build the Body Youve Always Wanted( One Guy Lost 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks !)
Two people, two completely different ideas about how to do one of the most basic efforts in the gym. And both of them completely wrong.
If you walked into that same gym today, chances are youd watch multiple versions of exerts hardly anyone did a decade ago, like planks and kettlebell changes. Those are in addition to the classic exerts, the simple ones that every lifter has done as long as hes been filching, but may not be doing in a way that helps him reach his goals.
Theres more free info than ever, and yet form hasnt improved, mentioned Nick Tumminello, columnist of the upcoming Building Muscle and Performance: A Program for Size, Strength, and Speed, and a coach based in Fort Lauderdale. Husband are stubborn, and they always think they know better.
Flawed exercise form certainly comes down to three fundamental problems TAGEND
Lack of control
Poor stability
Misreading the item of the exercise
Lets tackle them in that order.
Control issues
Most beings are in the gym to do bodybuilding, Tumminello enunciated. That is, to build muscle. But most people in the gym instruct like weightlifters, where the goals and targets is to removing the heavines . Theres a big difference. Bodybuilding is about checking the weight through the entire series of motion.
Take the lateral invoke, for example. The space most guys do it, Tumminello mentioned, is to shaking the heavines up, and let it disintegrate down.
But the entire level of the rehearsal is to target the middle-of-the-road part of the deltoid muscles. To establish them proliferate, you need to made them under strain. Theyre under the most tension at the top of the stray of the motionthe segment everyone cheats through, he says.
RELATED: 10 Cardio Practises That Burn More Calories Than Operating
You see this over and over in activities designed to target specific muscles, includes the lat pulldowns I described at the beginning. Tumminello also mentioned the bent-over barbell sequence: Theyll pluck it halfway with good form, then jolt it the rest of the way.
He furnishes a simple fix TAGEND
Select a weight you can hold at the point of maximum friction, with good form.
If you cant accommodated it four to five seconds, then the loads too damned heavy, he answered. You dont necessary to brace it when you civilize, but thats how you should research it.
For most bodybuilding exerciseslateral conjures, lat pulldowns, bent-over or accommodated rowsyou can experiment your weight at the end of the scope of gesture. For biceps bends, its the midpoint, when your forearms are parallel to the floor.
Or you are able to make it simpler, and exactly remember which part of the raising you typically have to cheater to get through. If you cant hamper it there for a few seconds, try using a lighter weight.
Bad posture
Picture these four rehearsals TAGEND
Plank
Pushup
Loaded carry
Bear crawl
What do they have in common? If you answered, Theyre all the same exercise, youre a lot smarter than me. It never resulted to me until Alwyn Cosgrove, my coauthor on the New Rules of Lifting books, excused it.
Of course they dont looking alike. But the key to good form is exactly the same: Whatever your posture is standing up straight-from-the-shoulder, thats what it should be when youre doing a timber, or a moving plank( aka pushup ), or a walk-to plank( aka loaded carry ), or a scooting plank( aka bear creeping ).
On the plank, pushup, and carry you should be able to draw a straight line from your ears through your shoulders, hips, and ends. On the bring crawling, the line should connect your ears, shoulders, and hips, with your torso parallel to the floor.
RELATED: 5 Guys Who Wake Up at 4 A.M. to Labor Out Tell You How They Do It
The most common mistakes are postural. With the plank, pushup, and bear crawling, you verify these almost every day TAGEND
persisting your butt in the air
letting your stomach sag toward the floor
promoting your foreman to check out the form of the person in front of you
On a pushup, you can tell if youre elevating your as when your nose reaches the storey ahead of your chest. If your stomach is sagging on a board or pushup, youll possibly feel it as an unpleasant strain in your lower back. And if you find yourself mesmerized by the person in front of you on any of these employs, youre perhaps face-lift your head.
The biggest problems on loaded carries entered when the heavines is held to one side, as in a suitcase carry. Mistakes might include TAGEND
Bending to the side comprising the weight
Overcompensating for the heavines by stooping to the opposite side
Leaning back and flaring your rib cage out
You can self-correct the first two issues by attaches great importance. If youre dispassionate, you should be able to tell if youre standing up straight-from-the-shoulder. If its a battle, lowering the weight.
A good self-check for the latter question is to target your non-weight-bearing hand on your sternum. If you feel your underside ribs start to move forward, settle your posture.
Cognitive disappointment
Return for a moment to the confused dame at the lat-pulldown station, the one pluck the bar down to her hips. Clearly, she didnt understand that the aims of the activity is to engage muscles in her midriff and upper back, and to do that she needed to select a reasonably challenging weight and attract the bar to her chest.
I recollected it because its not something you picture every day.
But there are a few usually misunderstood exercisings youll appreciate on a regular basis. Tumminello mentioned the hang knee parent. As ab usages move, its about as hard-core as the majority of members of us will ever get. But thats their own problems: Most of us cant actually do the activity correctly.
To do it right, Tumminello told, you need to tilt your pelvis upward, something thats hellaciously difficult from a dead hang. Instead, most guys will merely lift their knees, a crusade that works the hip-flexor muscles on the figurehead of the pelvis but doesnt project the rectus abdominis, the six-pack muscle, through the intended scope of motion.
RELATED : 38 Dumbbell Exercises Youve Probably Never Seen
If you cant do that pelvic tiltand as I enunciated, few of us canthen youre much better served by doing the reverse crunch from the storey or an incline bench.
Another common mistake involves usages for the opposite side of the torso. When you do a kettlebell swing, the goals and targets is to move the load by straightening your hips. That commits the potent glute and hamstring muscles. Your limbs and shoulder are precisely along for the ride.
But before you can arrange your hips, you have to load them by pushing them downwards. If you dont do that, you cant generate the force are required to swing the load out in front of you. Thats whether you are look so many parties return the swing into a front invoke: theyll various kinds of squat down, and then gather the weight up overhead utilizing their shoulder muscles.
A good shake, by compare, should end up somewhere between waist and chest stature. One route to tell if youre going it right: the bell exits precisely a bit higher than your hands at the opening of the move. If youre hoisting it with your forearms and shoulders, itll do the opposite, and end up below your hands.( For a full seminar on how to do the usage, check out The Right Way to Do a Kettlebell Swing .)
How to do any employ better
The lessons of these nine exerciseslateral promote, bent-over sequence, plank, pushup, bear crawling, loaded carry, lat pulldown, hanging knee grow, kettlebell swingcan be applied to any utilization you try. You just need to ask yourself three queries TAGEND 1. What is the point of the rehearsal ?
If the goal is to build muscle, then focus on developing strain in specific targeted muscles, and dont employ momentum to blow through that the members of the exercise.
2. What should my form look like while doing the workout ?
This is trickier, because on numerous rehearsals its hard to check your figure without divulging figure to look at yourself. And thats only if you have a mirror nearby. Without one, you have to pay attention to your form signals. If you feel a strain in your lower back on a board or pushup, thats your clue to work on your alignment.
3. What activities should and shouldnt be involved ?
This is even trickier, and may require coaching, or at least some reading outside the gym. Most parties looking at a kettlebell swaying would think the goals and targets is to lift the load up in front of you, so it reaches sense that youd use your limbs and shoulders. If nothing tells you its all in the hips, how would you know?
Which makes me to perhaps the most reliable clue: When other lifters stop, gaze, and then shake their tops as they walk away, you can be pretty sure youre doing something wrong.
Lou Schuler is an award-winning journalist and contributing editor to Mens Health. Check out his new book Strong: Nine Workout Programs For Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength For Life, with coauthor Alwyn Cosgrove .
This article initially appeared on MensHealth.com .
The post 3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rbud5u via IFTTT
0 notes