#having that said john wick 4 absolutely deserves the run time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orionsangel86 · 5 years

Text

75 Must Watch Supernatural Episodes in preparation for Season 15

As you might recall, a while ago TV Guide posted an article about their choice of the top 75 episodes of Supernatural to watch as a catch up of the series before the final season.

I read that article, and found myself absolutely horrified at many of their choices and outraged that many of the all time best episodes (including ones extremely important to the story) were missed off.

Everyone has their own opinions of course, but when I disagree with something that much it tends to motivate me to act out of pure spite - I do love a good spite motivation - and so I have made my own list, for the fandom, of the 75 absolute must watch episodes for anyone who wants to understand the integral story of Supernatural.

I have to hand it to TV Guide, whilst I adamantly disagreed with their choices, I admit that this was EXTREMELY DIFFICULT and having to sacrifice some of my faves so that I could include others that were more important to the story HURT, but that’s how it is.

Full list under the cut. Let me know what you think of my choices and my reasons!

1. Pilot

You cannot start a series catch up anywhere else, and we have to include the pilot episode. Introducing us to Sam and Dean, and setting up the story including the back story with the family tragedy. You just can’t beat a good old fashioned female fridging for man pain. *jokes*

2. 1x06 Skin

I feel like Skin is an important episode to watch as it is our first real look at Dean’s psyche as a character, where we start to realise just how much he is hiding behind his tough macho man exterior. The speech by Shifter!Dean to a horrified and confused Sam is heartbreaking and very revealing.

3. 1x12 Faith

This is still hands down one of Supernaturals best episodes. It was also the first time Kripke started considering a bigger mytharc involving faith and Christianity. We can all thank this episode for planting the seeds that would later give us the hugely popular character Castiel, and the hugely successful mytharc plots of Seasons 4 and 5. Also, one of the best music moments from the show with the “Don’t Fear The Reaper” chase scene.

4. 1x14 Nightmare

This episode introduces us to the Special Children story line which was of paramount importance to the first two seasons. It gives us the first glimpses of Sam’s powers to come, and is also the first time we get some hints of John Winchesters abuse of Dean.

5. 1x18 Something Wicked

I chose this episode because it is the first time we get to see more of Sam and Dean’s childhood, and how horrific it was - especially for Dean. A brilliant episode that once again clearly demonstrates how John Winchester is not a man to be messed with. If at this point you aren’t itching to call child services on his ass you probably need to read up on your understanding of child abuse.

6. 1x22 Devils Trap

The Season 1 finale gives us the show down between John Winchester and the Yellow Eyed Demon Azazel, some heartbreaking moments between father and sons, and a cliffhanger that leaves Baby and Dean both broken.

7. 2x01 In My Time of Dying

I love this episode. Dean’s out of body experience at the hospital, Sam’s grief, John’s deal, Tessa’s introduction to the show. C’est magnifique!

8. 2.05 Simon Said

I just think Simon Said is a great episode that further develops the special children plot whilst being both funny and dark at its core - classic SPN.

9. 2.15 Tall Tales

Our introduction to Gabriel - well, to the trickster as he is known here. This episode is gloriously funny and a must watch!

10. 2.21 All Hell Breaks Loose: Parts One and two

Okay I’m cheating a bit and putting these two episodes together, but in my opinion they count as their own feature length episode as you can’t watch one without the other. The climax of the special children arc, the deeply emotional Sam death scene and Dean’s bedside vigil, and Dean selling his soul. This two part season finale packed a lot of punches and is a definite must watch.

11. 3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock

How can anyone forget Sam’s run of bad luck in this hilarious episode. He LOST HIS SHOE!

12. 3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me

This is another must watch episode for the deep dive into Dean’s psyche. We also get more of a backstory to Bobby Singer, but the real brilliance happens when Dean spends part of the episode talking to his own dark mirror, revealing all sorts of subconscious fears and insecurities on his part.

13. 3.11 Mystery Spot

I couldn’t not put Mystery Spot on the list. This infamous episode of Supernatural will have you singing “Heat of the Moment” over and over again whilst sympathising with poor Sam every time Tuesday comes around. Don’t let Dean eat the funny tasting tacos!

14. 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked

In lots of ways, Season 3 was a weak season. It was drastically shortened due to the writers strike at the time, and Kripke & Co didn’t get to tell the story they initially planned for, instead they had to come up with an alternative which gave us this dark finale in which Dean is condemned to hell. That can’t have been a fun hiatus for fans watching live... Still, it was a memorable finale and that is why it is on my list.

15. 4.01 Lazarus Rising

This episode. Here begins Supernaturals “golden age”. Enter Castiel, Angel of the Lord and future fan favourite right up until 2k19. How many people out in the world saw that now famous entrance and immediately fell in love?

*holds up hand*

If you do nothing else, and you’ve never seen a single episode of Supernatural before, just watch this one, and I guarantee, I GUARANTEE, you will want to keep watching.

16. 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

The problem I have with season 4 is that I want to put basically every episode on the list. To this day it remains my favourite season of the show (and not just for the extreme DeanCas sexual tension). I kept this episode on the list simply because I love the Halloween theme, I love the frankly horrifying Samhain, and I LOVE the journey that Castiel goes through in this episode alone. Bonus points for Sam Winchester fangirling over Castiel proving he is no different from the rest of us. :P

17. 4.16 On the Head of a Pin

I say season 4 is my favourite season, and On the Head of a Pin is one of my all time favourite episodes. This is Supernatural at it’s finest and it’s not surprising as it was written by the great Ben Edlund. It is a perfect blend of horror and angst as we watch every character painfully spiral downwards. Sam hungrily drinks Ruby’s blood much to the audiences horror, Castiel faces his internal and external conflicts as all starts to unravel in the heavenly plans, and Dean plays a terrifying game of wits in an outstanding performance with the demon Alistair, his hellish torturer. It was a performance that Jensen Ackles should have won an Emmy for in my honest opinion. This episode has forever ruined the song “Cheek to Cheek” for me, but it was so worth it.

18. 4.17 It's a Terrible Life

It’s one of the classics. This AU world in which the angels flex their power over the Winchesters is another well loved fan favourite and quite frankly deserves to be here purely for the hilarious scene that many office workers all over the world would wish they could reenact as Sam quits his job in the most Sam Winchester way possible.

19. 4.20 The Rapture

I had to keep this episode here because it is so important for future story lines. As Castiel gets closer to Dean, heaven takes action and we meet Jimmy Novak, Cas’s tormented vessel, and in Castiel’s own future words “his greatest regret”. It’s a deeply emotional episode that proves even angels have their dark sides.

20. 4.22 Lucifer Rising

The Season 4 finale is still one of the most epic in my opinion. Sam and Dean’s dramatic fight in the episode before has left them both vulnerable to the angels and demons that are manipulating them for their own purposes. Ruby’s villain reveal speech is still one of the best, and as she shows her true colours to a horrified Sam, Dean makes an angel fall for him. In every way.

21. 5.03 Free to Be You and Me

This episode is another classic and many fans of Destiel would put it among their top episodes. As Sam and Dean go their separate ways, Dean grows closer to a now fallen and socially awkward Castiel.

22. 5.04 The End

Another epic from the mastermind that is Ben Edlund. The End has inspired much extremely angst ridden fanfiction over the years (and a very romantic song in a future musical episode) and is notorious for breaking fans hearts the world over. As Dean is unwillingly sent to a future apocalyptic world, he meets his harsh and brutal future self, and a drug addled hedonistic human Castiel. The most memorable and painful moment being his confrontation with a sharply dressed Lucifer wearing his brothers face. Tears flowed freely from fans the night this episode aired.

23. 5.08 Changing Channels

Changing Channels is another of those infamous episodes that even non fans of SPN are aware of for it’s sheer lunacy. Sam and Dean once again find themselves up against the trickster aka the archangel Gabriel, who puts them into a TV world where they must “play their roles” in order to survive.

Highlights include Sam’s herpes commercial and Dean’s heart eyes for Doctor Sexy MD.

24. 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon

Dark Side of the Moon is a beautiful episode. The race through heaven and through each Winchester’s memories gives us a far greater understanding of their complex and troubled relationship. The heartbreaking scenes of Dean’s heaven with his mother that Sam could not be part of were especially painful to watch. The climax reveal that God wasn’t listening and Castiel’s subsequent loss of faith only added to that heartbreak. Another must see episode.

25. 5.18 Point of No Return

As is the case with season 4, it was so difficult not to just put every season 5 episode on this list. I do think that both seasons just need to be watched in full to truly grasp how brilliant they were. Point of No Return needs to be on this list though because this episode is the breaking point, the tensions remain high throughout as each character makes desperate choices as they all spiral towards the Endtimes.

26. 5.22 Swan Song

Swan Song is often considered the number 1 top episode of Supernatural. It is always at the top of these “rank the episodes” lists in the media, and that is why it is on my list too. It is brilliant in many ways, but if I am being completely honest it doesn’t even come close to the top of my own personal list ranking SPN episodes. It is certainly emotional, and there are some extremely heartbreaking scenes. Lucifer plays his hand, Dean plays his right back with the power of love, Sam makes his swan dive. It’s heartbreaking, it needs to be watched, but the “endings are hard” meta moan by Kripke always felt slightly too pretentious for my tastes. Don’t make excuses dude, this episode didn’t need them.

27. 6.11 Appointment in Samarra

I’ll be honest, I didn’t like season 6. Whilst some of the individual episodes were good, the mytharc was weak and I think the season struggled to find it’s feet for many episodes at the start. I didn’t like soulless Sam, preferring my Sammy to be the compassionate caring sweetheart he always was before. That being said, Appointment in Samarra is a brilliant standalone episode simply because the character of Death is so very compelling. Dean’s time playing Death was fun whilst also being a deeply emotional exploration of cause and effect in the universe. It’s a must watch.

28. 6.15 The French Mistake

I couldn’t not put this episode on the list. If Season 6 did one thing right, it was this ridiculous episode.

29. 6.20 The Man Who Would Be King

The only other thing Season 6 did right. 6x20 is Ben Edlund’s masterpiece and without it, frankly, the entire mytharc plot of the season would fail miserably. This beautiful episode told from the point of view of a hugely conflicted Castiel not only birthed an entire new generation of Destiel shippers, but canonically confirmed that Castiel’s every decision was motivated by his love for Dean.

*Ouch my shipper heart*

30. 6.22 The Man Who Knew Too Much

The season 6 finale is on this list purely for two characters: Sam and Cas. Sam’s journey to put himself back together inside his own head is as enjoyable as it is emotional. Castiel’s spiralling through into utter villainy is simply soul destroying - especially for those of us who are heavily invested in this character.

31. 7.01 Meet the New Boss

I had to keep the season 7 premiere in this episode as it is the only hint we have of what could have been an AMAZING season story line! Sadly, it was not to be, and Castiel’s run as God lasts this episode only before a very misguided showrunner wrote him off the show (thankfully she saw reason and brought him back dramatically later on, even though the damage and huge drop in ratings was already done.) Worth watching purely for enjoying a power drunk Castiel wipe out a homophobic preacher - he really doesn’t like those homophobes!

32. 7.10 Death's Door

The first time I watched Death’s Door I sobbed for 20 minutes straight. Bobby Singer was the best father Sam and Dean (and Castiel at times) could have ever had, and this heartfelt goodbye to the character as he fought against his reaper and his own memories really packed a punch.

33. 7.17 The Born-Again Identity

The episode that turned it all around. The Born-Again Identity sees a desperate Dean take a chance on a mysterious healer to help a haunted Sam. That healer turns out to be everything Dean has been waiting for. Castiel’s dramatic return to the series answered both Deans, and many fans, prayers.

34. 7.20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo

The introduction of Charlie Bradbury was a must on this list. She immediately became a fan favourite with her upbeat quirkiness. Created to be an avatar for fandom in many ways, she was a breath of fresh air compared to the previous fan avatar the show introduced us too who the less we mention the better. This episode was a lighthearted fun episode in an otherwise downright depressing season.

35. 7.23 Survival of the Fittest

It’s a must watch for the dick jokes alone. In all seriousness, I like this episode, even if it is another weak finale compared to others. The dynamic between Dean, Sam, Meg, and a Castiel who isn’t quite himself, is enjoyable, even if the villain of the season isn’t all that interesting.

36. 8.02 What's Up, Tiger Mommy?

Where the season 8 premiere focused on the present day, and what Sam had been doing in the year between the season 7 finale and now, episode 2 focuses more on purgatory. Dean’s time in purgatory desperately hunting for an AWOL Castiel is definitely worth the watch, especially when their purgatory reunion was so heartbreaking. Bonus points for Sam being worthy of Mjolnir!

37. 8.07 A Little Slice of Kevin

I make no secret of the fact that Castiel is my favourite character in Supernatural, or my love of Dean and Castiel’s relationship. This episode is on my list because Castiel’s return to the real world and an emotional Dean gets my fangirl heart pounding. This episode must use every romantic trope in the book on these two heartbroken dumbasses and it will always be a favourite.

38. 8.08 Hunteri Heroici

This episode is another one of my favourite. The boys finally bring Cas along on an otherwise regular monster of the week hunt, and it is hilarious. Not to mention the hunt is extremely loony and for that reason alone, it is a must watch.

39. 8.11 LARP and the Real Girl

The reintroduction of Charlie Bradbury is a delightful episode where the boys get a taste of LARPING. This is one of those memorable episodes where we get to see the Winchesters both out of their element, and also embracing a bit of fun outside of their normal dark lives. It is a joyful episode to watch.

40. 8.12 As Time Goes By

An integral episode that ends up being a game changer for the show. Thanks to a time travel spell, the boys find out their grandfather was part of a secret organisation. This episode is a must watch for the introduction of Abaddon, the Men of Letters, and the Winchester’s new home base that will see them through to the end of the series - the Bunker.

41. 8.17 Goodbye Stranger

Goodbye Stranger is one of those episodes that will break your heart and leave you screaming. Castiel finally breaks free from heavens grasp - but what broke the connection?

42. 8.23 Sacrifice

I adore the season 8 finale. Crowley’s confession, Sam’s heartbreaking speech which kicked off a long ongoing arc over the next 6 seasons exploring the darker side of the Winchester’s codependency, Metatron’s betrayal, and Castiel’s fall to humanity. The final scene with the angels fall to Earth is beautiful and emotional and I just love everything about it.

43. 9.01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here

The season 9 premiere is another deeply emotional episode which explores the aftermath of Sam’s trials to close the gates of hell. Sam is once again on deaths door, but Dean has ideas to save him - and his choices drastically affect the course of both brothers, and Castiel’s, lives for the next several seasons of pain and downward spirals into darkness.

44. 9.06 Heaven Can't Wait

The first ever episode written by our angst goblin king Bobo Berens and what a first episode it was. This episode was like a twisted mix between tragedy and romantic comedy but it worked brilliantly. Fans of Dean and Cas both laughed and wept at it’s perfection. It also was the episode that birthed a thousand fanfics thanks to one well placed “fanfiction gap”.

45. 9.11 First Born

This episode is one of the highlights of Season 9, with a brilliant performance by Timothy Omundson as Cain, this episode sees Dean make the terrible mistake of signing a contract before reading the terms and conditions. Bonus side plot of Sam and Cas getting some Bunker bonding time.

46. 9.18 Meta Fiction

This Castiel focused episode from the genius mind of Robbie Thompson is another must watch. The villainous Metatron manipulates Cas into playing a role in his own scripted story. Bonus guest appearance from fan favourite Gabriel adds to the appeal of this episode. (Following the season 14 finale I can’t help but wonder if this episode had some influence on the current writing team - could we even call it foreshadowing?)

47. 9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles?

The season 9 finale was another very strong episode which must be watched if only for the huge cliffhanger ending. Dean spirals into his own darkness under the effects of the Mark of Cain, and pays for it with his life. Thankfully Crowley is there to make things “better” and take the wayward Winchester under his demonic wing.

48. 10.03 Soul Survivor

Like many others, I feel that we were robbed of a longer Demon!Dean arc. I also feel like the show could have gone far darker with the character given everything we know about poor Dean’s psyche. Whilst episodes 1 and 2 took a lighter touch the demon, Soul Survivor was as close as we got to a truly evil representation of Dean and this episode shook me with the truly brilliant yet terrifying performance Jensen gives us.

49. 10.05 Fan Fiction

Fan Fiction is one of those episodes that you will either love or hate. Created as a love letter to the shows fandom, Robbie Thompson poured his heart into this episode and I do think it is a necessary watch even if just for the beautiful rendition of Carry on Wayward Son at the end. Some may find it cringeworthy in parts - many in fandom don’t exactly like the show drawing attention to their “dirty laundry” and I don’t think anyone will forget a fangirl telling Dean Winchester directly that “you can’t spell subtext without S-E-X” nor the break-the-forth-wall look Dean gives the audience upon hearing that. Nevertheless, we can officially say that both Destiel and Sastiel have been mentioned directly by the Winchester brothers - funnily enough Sam seems totally cool with the concept of hooking up with Cas; Dean though, well, as the saying goes “the lady doth protest too much”.

50. 10.14 The Executioner's Song

Like with First Born, this episode is a must watch for Timothy Odmunson’s performance as Cain, and how brilliantly he and Jensen work together. A haunting and tense episode with a heartbreaking conclusion. It’s dark and deep and pretty damn epic.

Bonus Episode Shout Out - 10.16 Paint it Black

I am not actually including this episode in the list, as it is a generic MOTW for the most part. But I do want to give it an honorary mention for one scene in particular. If you are new to the show, and are planning on using this list to catch up, then for this episode, go to YouTube and search “Supernatural 10x16 Dean’s confession”. TRUST ME. If like me, you love analysing Dean’s character to death, his church confession in this episode is like being given the key to figuring out the meaning of life.

51. 10.22 The Prisoner

I have chosen this episode over the Season 10 finale because this episode depicts Dean’s spiral into total darkness, whereas the season 10 finale always felt like a particularly weak episode to me. Following Charlie’s horrific (and highly controversial) death, Dean lets the Mark of Cain consume him and goes on a killing spree. The ending of this episode ripped my heart to shreds as Castiel promises that he will stay with Dean forever, only for Dean to beat him to near death and only stop at the last minute thanks to that final shred of humanity left in him. If the shot of a bloodied and heartbroken Castiel staring at the angel blade that narrowly missed his head doesn’t make you cry, then I don’t even know why you watch this show.

52. 11.04 Baby

Another fan favourite told from the point of view from the Impala which at this point is definitely its own character and so much more than just a car. Baby is an extremely well put together episode which confirms that there is more than a little bit of magic in that sleek 1967 muscle car.

53. 11.11 Into the Mystic

Into the Mystic introduces us to Eileen Leahy, a character who we all immediately fell in love with, and not just because she is literally PERFECT for Sam Winchester (yes I ship it), but also because she is a badass female hunter and this show is most definitely lacking badass female hunters. It also keeps us on the edge of our seats as Lucifer disguised as Castiel infiltrates the bunker and manages to trick Dean. Epic stuff.

54. 11.17 Red Meat

A well known controversial episode, Red Meat penned by Angst Goblin Bobo Berens delves into the darker, more toxic parts of the Winchester brothers relationship, and highlights just how horrific their codependency has become. Love it or hate it, you can’t deny that it highlights that these boys have some serious issues, and this episode marks a turning point from which both brothers, but especially Dean, start to move upwards, towards a more healthy bond.

55. 11.18 Hell's Angel

The fight to save Castiel from Lucifer’s clutches would be so much easier if the depressed angel actually knew how much he was loved by his Winchester family. Unfortunately for him, Dean is a dumbass who never uses his words. Hell’s Angel is heartbreaking but a must watch if you have any doubt in how much Dean Winchester cares for his angelic guardian. Lucifer’s mockery of his desperation is a particularly nasty knife twist, but then again us fans lap this stuff up.

56. 11.20 Don't Call Me Shurley

The dramatic return of Chuck AKA God. Another must watch episode which explains in some way what the hell God has been doing all this time, whilst Sam and Dean fight to save a small town from a deathly supernatural fog. The tear-jerking song “Fare Thee Well” sung by Rob Benedict at the end not only foreshadows God’s “death” at the end of the season, but also the departure of fan favourite writer Robbie Thompson from the writing team. Emotional indeed.

57. 11.23 Alpha and Omega

The season 11 finale marks the first time in the shows history that a finale doesn’t have a single death. The uplifting ending in which the boys manage to save the world and reunite God and his sister is a one off for Supernatural, especially when it ends with another shock character resurrection - symbolising a new direction for the show and a new showrunner. This was an epic finale that I thoroughly enjoyed.

58. 12.01 Keep Calm and Carry On

The Season 12 premiere saw the return of Mary Winchester, an awkward introduction with a shocked and overjoyed Castiel, and a dramatic race to save Sam from the British Men of Letters. It sets up a far more human mytharc plot than the previous seasons world ending battles between Gods, but with Mary’s introduction, and Andrew Dabb at the wheel, the story is about to get a whole bunch more personal.

59. 12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

One of my all time favourite episodes, Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets gives us a very small peek at Castiel’s pre-Winchester past, and his beautiful female former vessel (no matter what form Castiel resides in, he is always beautiful - a fact referenced in show almost as often as out of it!). It also confirms that no matter how much Cas and Dean may bicker with each other, no one else insults Dean Winchesters angel and gets away with it! Bonus points for long suffering third wheel Sam Winchesters epic bitch faces and eye rolls throughout.

60. 12.11 Regarding Dean

This episode is one of those rare beauties which gets the balance between humour and heartbreak just right. As Dean rapidly loses his memories under a witches spell, Sam and Rowena fight to save him. Regarding Dean explores deep themes including Dean’s loss of childhood innocence at a young age, and how a life shrouded in darkness has effected him. Pure heartbreak. Bonus points for THAT scene on the bucking bronco.

61. 12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Another all time favourite, directed by our very own Richard Speight Jr in a highly stylised homage to Reservoir Dogs and other Tarantino movies. Castiel takes the role of Mr Orange in this gruesome tale, much to the distress of Mr White AKA Dean. One absolutely devastating love confession later and there isn’t a dry eye in the house. DO NOT SKIP THIS EPISODE.

62. 12.19 The Future

The episode that shook the fandom to it’s core thanks to one tiny moment. A desperate Castiel makes some bad decisions, but not before first using Dean’s love for him against him. The knowledge that Dean at one point made a tailored mixtape of his favourite Led Zeppelin songs and gave it to Castiel as a gift BROKE ME. To this day I am still not over this information. To this day I cannot quite get Dean’s soft voice saying “it’s a gift, you keep those.” out of my head. Just remembering the scene as I write this makes my heart flutter and I STILL can’t believe that the writers took the show in this direction. It’s beautiful.

63. 12.22 Who We Are

This heartbreaking episode reveals the importance of Mary’s return to the show, as Dean goes into his mothers own head to try to save her from brainwashing. A truly epic performance from Jensen Ackles (once again) in which Dean finally admits his own burdens, explains how he was robbed of his childhood, and how he was forced into the role of parent to his younger brother when he was 4 years old. Ah that character development is truly delicious.

64. 12.23 All Along the Watchtower

The season 12 finale packs a lot of punches. The imminent birth of Lucifer’s nephilim son causes a rift in the universe, opening a doorway to another world. As the tension builds to a dramatic conclusion, Lucifer plays his hand, unwittingly trapping himself in the AU world with one beloved character, as another sacrifices himself and a third tragic death leaves Dean shattered and broken on the ground.

65. 13.01 Lost and Found

The season 13 premier was everything I have ever wanted from a Supernatural episode - namely PAAAAAIN. The last 10 minutes of this episode in particular had me ugly crying into @margarittet and @tinkdw‘s laps. In fact, every time I rewatch this episode I cry again. As we are introduced to Jack, we say goodbye to Castiel, and my god, I will never get over watching Dean Winchester wrap the body of his angel in preparation for the pyre and try so hard to keep it together. Same Dean. Same.

66. 13.05 Advanced Thanatology

Where Lost and Found broke my heart, Advanced Thanatology stamped on the shattered pieces until the final seconds in which it magically pulled me back together again. This episode was the climactic end to a 5 episode mini grief arc for Dean who just couldn’t get over Castiel’s death. In this episode, we realise just how badly that death has affected Dean, as he foolishly risks his life in his desperation for any kind of win he can get. Episode highlights include a brilliant performance from Billie who has assumed the role of Death as she knocks some sense into Dean, and the final dramatic return of Castiel, proving that “it’s never too late to start all over again”.

67. 13.06 Tombstone

Following 5 episodes of extreme angst and pain, the audience is finally given some relief in this joyful episode which sees the reunited Winchesters take their new son on a trip to cowboy country. Honestly it’s worth watching purely for Castiel’s attempt at playing cowboy to make Dean happy, and Sam Winchesters knowing looks as he pointedly calls out Dean’s dramatic 180 turn from uber depressive to ecstatic happiness following his angels return to the world of the living. Bonus points for this episode getting the hashtag #brokebacksupernatural trending on Twitter.

68. 13.10 Wayward Sisters

The episode that should have kicked off a whole new spin off were it not for the idiotic decisions of a group of suited white guys with no concept of what decent TV is nowadays. Yes I’m still bitter, Yes Mark Pedowitz can go to hell. Wayward Sisters was a brilliant episode that gave us a whole new generation of badass hunting women, and a story that I was 100% invested in seeing more of. It’s a damn tragedy this never got picked up for its own series.

69. 13.16 Scoobynatural

I can’t write a list of top episodes without adding Scoobynatural. The three Winchester boys find themselves zapped into TV land and meet the Scooby Gang. This episode was just hilarious and brilliant. Bonus points for Castiel’s bond with Shaggy and Scooby, and only a minor deduction for Dean’s over the top flirting with Daphne.

70. 13.21 Beat the Devil

In true Supernatural fashion, as the end of the season gets closer, the tension builds to extreme levels. In the apocalypse world the Winchesters try to find and save Jack and Mary, but Lucifer is on their tails. An unexpected attack leads to a highly traumatic and shocking scene in which Sam is killed and a distraught Dean is only pulled away from further danger by a terrified Castiel. The final scene of this episode in which Lucifer resurrects Sam in a truly horrific display of power over his former victim and vessel is haunting and brilliantly acted by Jared Padalecki. The fear he radiates around Lucifer being the only thing that allows me to continue to take the devil seriously at this point in the show.

71. 14.08 Byzantium

I know what you are going to say, I have skipped a BIG chunk of episodes in my list. I have to be honest here and admit that the season 13 finale was possibly one of the worst episodes in Supernatural history and I can’t in good conscience add it to this list. I also think that the writers struggled to pull themselves back up to the high standard of early season 13 after that dreadful finale, so the first half of Season 14 always felt a bit dull for me, however Byzantium does make up for it, in it’s emotional story of how Sam, Dean, and Castiel all deal with the death of their son. The highlights of this episode have to be the scenes in heaven, where Jack reunites with his mother Kelly, and Castiel finds them both in her own piece of paradise in another tear-jerking scene. Castiel’s deal with the creature from the Empty leaving Cas fans everywhere horrified and distraught, but also rather excited at what exactly may trigger the deadly deal. Hopefully this plot point will be picked up next season, as it is definitely highly anticipated.

72. 14.10 Nihilism

Another dream episode for any Dean fans who like to analyse his beautifully deep and layered psyche. Sam and Cas must dive into Dean’s mind in order to free him from the archangel Michael. What they find is worth several essay’s of analysis on this fascinating and wonderful character. Dean’s bar; surrounded by symbols and hints of his life and a very apt song put on repeat - Will Dean ever get his rainbow ending? Only one more season to go until we find out.

73. 14.14 Ouroboros

Following all the drama and separation of the Winchester family, they finally all reunite in this episode to hunt a gorgon. I always prefer the episodes where Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all work together, and this episode explores the group dynamic perfectly. The gorgon is a charismatic villain who taunts our heroes and has them all fighting to keep up with him. Put it simply this is just a fun episode and exactly what we want from our MOTW episodes in the new Supernatural era.

74. 14.15 Peace of Mind

Just like the previous episode, Peace of Mind is simply one of the more fun and enjoyable episodes of the season. So much so in fact that I have probably re-watched it a dozen times because I loved it so much. In a rare team up between Sam and Cas, they find themselves stuck in a Pleasantville type place. Hilarity ensues, and poor Sam gets himself stuck in a 1950s style marriage and a sweater vest. Castiel reads some raunchy erotica and enjoys it. You will find yourselves laughing at “H-E-double hockey sticks” for hours afterwards. A must watch lighthearted episode in an otherwise dark season.

75. 14.20 Moriah

The season 14 finale was certainly one of the more epic finales we have had, and a meta masterpiece penned by showrunner Andrew Dabb. As Dean’s anger and grief following Mary’s death only deepens, and the rift between him and Castiel continues, it is Sam who discovers that all this time, for their entire lives, they have all been nothing more than characters in a world created by a cruel and manipulative writer God. Chuck’s return and reveal as the villain of the entire show came as a shock to many fans who saw him as a beloved fan favourite, but to many others, myself included, this reveal harmonises this entire story and the Winchesters long and traumatic journey and blows my mind at just how perfect it all is. God Was Never On Your Side, and this has always been a show to stress the importance of free will in a Godless world.

*chef’s kiss*

Bring on Season 15.

#supernatural #top 75 episodes #spn meta #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #supernatural episode summaries #my opinions #seriously these are just my opinions #and I had so much fun writing this #and i am kinda proud of it #my stuff

928 notes · View notes

laora-inn · 4 years

Text

Supernatural - Of Dean, Cas and Pies

Well, in this post I’ve said that Cas = Dean’s pie and promised to talk about it later.

I’ve seen a lot of meta considering Destiel, cakes and pies. In fiction, food is always kinda connected with sex and craving for it, and also with death. All the cycle, Eros and Tanathos, you know.

So it’s no wonder that there are lots of food in Supernatural and lots of it’s possible interpretations. Maybe, ALL of them are right simultaneously.

The version about Dean’s food personally I like, by @amwritingmeta from here:

Trash Food: the life of the hunter = saving people, hunting things Pie: home and stability (the longing for his mother and his longing for love) Cake: at first being reluctant, but open, to trying new things

I think it’s absolutely correct. That’s why Dean’s hook-up with Anna in 5x10 is characterized by Uriel as “having a piece of angel food cake”. Anna is an angel, it’s certainly new experience for Dean, to hook up with an angel.

The cake could also refer to Dean’s bisexuality, though in my opinion there is a bigger problem here.

‘Cause you know, there will be a great difference in the sharpness of your sexual experience and in aftertaste if it’s not just sex but something more, an emotional connection. And that connection is the scariest part of every possible relationship.

So I don’t see the point in Dean’s sexuality there. The point is whether Dean want to try something new of not, both in his sexual preferences and family life, in his life at all.

From the Supernatural wiki:

There have been occasions when Dean has been tempted by cake:

3.02. The Kids Are Alright: Dean is seen eating birthday cake with a young Ben Braeden at his birthday party.

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, “Where’s the pie?” Sam says, “You got cake, that’s close enough, right?” Dean does not eat the piece of cake.

7.06. Slash Fiction: Dean ask Sam to buy him something that “rhymes with songs songs” i.e. Ding Dongs which a small chocolate cake with a creamy center.

10.12. About a Boy: 14-year-old Dean snacks on cake while he is held captive, he didn’t much care for it.

10.15. The Things They Carried: In a police station, there is a birthday cake on the desk. The police officer offers cake to Sam and Dean, but Sam declines on their behalf. Dean looks disappointed, and sneaks a fingerful of icing.

I think all of them, situation with Anna included (textual references can work even better than visual ones, as for me), refer to Dean’s possibilities of new experience.

In 3x02 he had a possibility of a new family with Lisa and Ben, and he tried it. Back then the show was supposed to end with them as Dean’s constant family. So we’ve got a cake and Dean who’s eating it, possibly enjoying.

7x03 is crucial for Destiel shippers. Why? ‘Cause that’s the moment than Dean needed A PIE and got A CAKE from Sam instead. And nope, he didn’t manage to eat it. Why? Because this cake isn’t his pie. In 7x02 Dean lost Cas. And nothing can replace him, more than that, Dean doesn’t want to try anything new, he just can’t even if Sam helps and doesn’t see the difference.

7x06 was Dean’s prompt to try something new - to have a daughter with Lydia. He didn’t make it either.

Also he didn’t like the cake he ate in 10x12 as a teenager, said the cake was too dry. So he didn’t stay a teenager (someone he used to be a long time ago, but being a teenager now is new experience for him, a chance to start a new life, without Mark of Cain on his arm). Dean preferred to stay an adult in this episode - he tried something new and didn’t like it.

In 10x15 Dean tried the cake = something new. I think it’s the moment when they’ve finally said us: okay, guys. In case you still have some doubts, let’s clarify. A new endgame for Dean comes, not with Lisa and Ben for sure.

So whom with? Oh, well. Maybe with an angel whom Dean gave the First Blade, like he’s preferring him to Crowley? An angel whom Cain saw Dean’s parallel to his wife Colette in? Both moments were in episode 10x14, the previous one!

If 10x14 and 10x15 haven’t clarified it to us yet, in 10x16 Dean also says that there are some people and some feelings he wants to try in a different way. Yep, something new. Three times make no coincidence. This “new” is connected to Cas, and here from cakes appearances are rare. ‘Cause Dean’s already in the path of trying something new.

I think that’s the reason why there were no cakes and pies in season 11th. I love this season very much, it’s also supposed to be the last one, and I suggest Destiel endgame was planned here at the end, maybe not in explicit form, but still. We could tell it looking to the story fabric.

And then they’ve just torn it up at the very end and added 4 more seasons, full of Destiel and pies. Why pies, not cakes? Why pies remain and are still relevant to the story?

‘Cause after Destiel “confession”, which wasn’t at the end of 11th season, but was supposed to be there for sure (and that’s the reason why 11x23 looks like kinda awkward to me, especially Destiel talk in the car about friendship and brotherhood, which was a big step back itself), Dean and Cas aren’t subtextually “something new” to each other. They are ALREADY “family”, and not like brothers. They are couple.

It’s no wonder that after this point pie=Cas for Dean. No, not Mary. Mary is a part of equation, but her special dish isn’t a pie, she can’t even cook pies. No, not Sam. Sam can bring a pie for Dean, but that’s Dean who should be confident enough to take it.

But actually even before season 12, since season 7, pie references were connected with Cas mostly.

From season 1 to season 6 they mean rather a family in broader sense. ‘Cause “apple-pie life”, you know. Life with the family, who loves you, not with the toxic people.

More quotes for us from the wiki, seasons 1-3:

The running gag relating to Dean's pie love, is that Dean rarely gets to eat his pie.

1.11. Scarecrow: In Burkittsville Indiana Scotty's Cafe serves apple pie made from the towns apple crop. "We’re famous for our apples. So, you gotta try this pie." he tells a couple who the townsfolk will later try to kill. Dean orders a piece of the pie. Later when Dean is tied up as a sacrifice, he yells the now classic line ""I hope your apple pie is freakin’ worth it!"

2.21. All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One: Dean asks Sam to get him some pie from a diner while he waits in the car. Once inside, Sam is taken by demons and transported to Cold Oak, with the other Special Children.

3.05. Bedtime Stories: When a young couple, Ken and Julie, are lost in the woods, they come across a sweet old lady who invites them inside her house to rest. Ken sees pie cooling on her windowsill and accepts her invitation despite Julie's reservations. Once they've eaten a fair amount of the pie, it is revealed the pie was poisoned, and the old lady kills Ken with a butcher's knife while he lies on the floor unable to fight her off.

3.16. No Rest for the Wicked: When Lilith kills her host's grandfather, he literally falls face first onto a piece of pie.

Here we see that pies are mostly connected to family, death and danger. Because in seasons 1-3 the Winchesters have no chance to a happy family. They are deeply in a toxic relationship with each other (poisoned pie), their father is dead, Sam is doomed, and they can’t be happy. That’s why Dean can’t have his pie here. That’s why he accuses Sam of wanting an "apple-pie life” in 1x01 - Dean doesn’t think he deserves this life himself and mocks on it while craving for it. His greatest fear, as far as we know in season 1, is to be abandoned. To have no family at all, even the toxic one.

So, in the end of season 3 Dean dies because of his deal, which purpose was to save his only family member left. Sam, who is holding Dean’s corpse in the end of 3x16. Yep, dead face in the pie.

Kinda tragic, you know.

Situation in seasons 4-5 looks just a slight better to me. Pies are more likely a symbol of happy family now... except the fact that Dean can hardly get them:

4.01. Lazarus Rising: When Sam and Dean are in a diner following Dean's resurrection, Dean orders pie. Unfortunately, the pie is brought to them by a possessed waitress, and Dean is unable to enjoy it. After their confrontation with the demons in the diner, Dean leaves money to pay for the pie.

4.02. Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester: When faced with a pile of research on angels, Dean demands of Sam, "You're gonna get me some pie!" When Sam returns sans pie (due to encountering Ruby), Dean complains, "Dude, Where's the pie?"

5.15. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid: Karen Singer finds baking makes life as a zombie easier, and fills Bobby's house with pies. On one of the few occasions Dean gets to eat pie, it's baked by a zombie.

5.16. Dark Side of the Moon: In Heaven, Dean and Sam relive a memory from when Dean was four years old. Mary makes him a sandwich with a glass of milk and then has a brief argument on the phone with John. Dean goes to comfort her, and Mary hugs him and says "You are my little angel. How ‘bout some pie?" This may be a clue to the origin of Dean's love of pie, and his associations between pie and comfort.

5.19. Hammer of the Gods: Mercury tells Dean after checking in that the hotel has "the best pie in the tri-state area." Sam also warns Dean that they should leave the motel while eating at the buffet: “It’s Biblical, exactly. It’s friggin’ Noah’s ark out there and we’re eating pie”.

Situations in 4x01 and 4x02 refer to Sam. He can’t be a pie for Dean, his family anymore, ‘cause he has Ruby now, a demon. Demons interfere between Dean and pie. Well, sorry for them.

Situation in 5x15 refer to Bobby as a part of family whom Dean in this episode wants to save. Also pies here have a straight connection to death, even the Death himself.

Karen also says, that Dean’s never been in love. He knows only familial love... and during this conversation he is eating a pie. Karen makes pies to bring peace=her love to Bobby, and this love is romantic for 100%. And hella tragic.

I don’t think Dean was in love with Cas back then. Cas was his friend and meant a lot to Dean, maybe Dean was attracted to him somehow, hoped for him, even loved him - but, in my opinion, not romantically.

So that time Cas just couldn’t be Dean’s pie.

To tell the truth, I don’t think ANYONE besides Cas could.

From 5x16 we know, that pie for Dean means not just family, but a happy one, a family, where he is unconditionally and absolutely loved. We also know that the pie could be associated with the word “angel”, even if in the context of a season 5 that may sound kinda sarcastic.

Pie from the 5x19, as I suppose, refer to another family. Not the Winchesters, but Lucifer and Gabriel. ‘Cause now, then Sam and Dean are the vessels, they are certainly a part of a BIGGER family (which also includes Cas, btw). But this family is absolutely awful, toxic and bloody.

Let’s see how the textual references to the pies in seasons 4-5 work:

4.22. Lucifer Rising: when it seems like Dean has given up on Sam, Bobby gives him a talking to: “Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!”

5.12. Swap Meat: when Sam is returned to his own body, he confides in Dean that life as a normal kid "sucked ass": “All that apple-pie, family crap? It's stressful. Trust me, we didn't miss a damn thing”.

5.22. Swan Song: when Sam is preparing to say yes to Lucifer, he makes Dean promise that he won't try to get him back from Lucifer's Cage. He wants Dean to find Lisa and try to live a "normal, apple-pie life."

I think that’s what Dean wants from his family - to get an apple pie (unconditional love/appreciation). He can’t get it from them, and that’s the main tragedy in his life for the seasons 1-5. He is too fixated on them and can’t move on.

Lisa and Ben are just a dream of an apple-pie life (love) for Dean. But you know, that’s not how it works. To notice someone’s love and to appreciate it, you should love them back. We've never had enough information about Lisa and Ben to make any conclusions about. And Sam’s words from 5x12 just state that they both, Sam and Dean, currently can’t believe that they deserve a happy family, deserve to be loved (hello Crowley’s allusion).

Season 6 is poor for pies (and love), both textually and visually. That’s the season where Cas goes the dark side, ‘cause Dean doesn’t love him back (doesn’t trust him), so no wonder.

Here some pie moments:

6.04. Weekend at Bobby's: Bobby's neighbor Marcy Ward brings him a ginger peach cobbler. Marcy, after some exposure to Bobby hunting, decides against dating Bobby, who never gets to eat the pie because he keeps getting interrupted.

6.08. All Dogs Go to Heaven: Dean is sick of soulless Sam trying to act normal, and he tells him that he doesn't buy his act: “You say you're "just folks," yeah? That - that you like baseball and apple pie, or whatever. But truth is, I don't know what you are, 'cause you're not Sam”.

6.11. Appointment in Samarra: Death tells Dean "What do you think the soul is? Some pie you can slice? The soul can be bludgeoned, tortured, but never broken, not even by me."

In Bobby’s case a pie=possible romantic relationship, but Bobby can’t get it.

Dean in 6x08 means that even if soulless Sam says he likes/loves his family (Dean and Bobby), he lies.

The last line I think isn’t connected with this all pie=love narrative. The Death just knows about Dean’s love for pies and says what he needs to say in a simple way. But it’s also about family - Sam’s soul, basically Sam himself.

And it’s season 7 where we have the narrative change! It deals not only with pies, but also with Dean’s feelings to Cas. I think he’s still not in love here. But Dean comes closer to understanding this season. Without this romantic subplot season 7 is just a mess. And you know, this subplot is something what is not easy to notice. That’s why season 7 was something that nearly killed all the show. You should be more open to your fans.

Pies in this season:

7.02. Hello, Cruel World: A TV ad for Biggerson's announces they now have a homemade pie bar - like a salad bar but for pies!

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, "Where's the pie?" Sam says, "You got cake, that's close enough, right?" Dean does eat from the piece of cake and passes out on the couch, leaving it unfinished.

7.05. Shut Up, Dr. Phil: Dean is in the motel room, about to eat a cream pie, when Sam comes in and presents him with some chickens feet that they require to combat the witches. They have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, and Dean is put off his pie.

7.22. There Will Be Blood: Dean is devastated to learn that the modified corn syrup the Leviathan are using to make humans docile and obese is in nearly all his favorite foods, including pie. Dean: "Roman acquires..." What's SucroCorp? Sam: They make food additives, namely high-fructose corn syrup. That crap is in – well, it's in just about everything – um, soda, sauces, bread. Dean: Don't say "pie." Sam: Definitely pie. Dean: Bastards.

Moment from 7x02 can refer to Leviathans that were in Cas. There are MANY of them, they were ruining his core. Connection to the death and danger once again, but this time it refers to Cas. FOR THE FIRST TIME. Why?

Moment from 7x03 had also a cake and was discussed before. The meaning of it that Dean wants Cas back and can’t move on. So, here Cas=Dean’s pie for sure.

7x05 deals with the lovers’ quarrel that ruins the whole town. They are two powerful witches who need to be in peace, then the world will be whole once again. I think that refers to Cas’s and Dean’s quarrel at the end of 6th season, because IT IS basically the reason why Leviathans are here ruining the world. Dean and Cas should have been in peace to prevent it.

Yep, Sam and Dean also have their quarrel about poor Amy, but this quarrel is a result of Dean’s misunderstanding with Cas, of Cas’s death. I feel sorry for Amy so much! She’s a victim of Dean’s personal issues, and that’s very mean of him, to kill Amy, who once was significant to Sam, in a kind of a mirror situation. I lost Cas - you’ll have to loose your monster girlfriend too, and why are you so obsessed with the monsters at all, hey, little brother?

The truth is Sam HAD NEVER such a powerful connection with a supernatural being that Dean had. It’s Dean who was obsessed with a monster, not Sam, and Dean IS still obsessed. So much, that he kills Amy in a prompt to be freed from obsession, to forget Cas’s death and the fact that it’s what is bothering him so much.

So yes, now Dean can’t have his pie. Because Cas is dead, and the world is ruining (chickens feet that they require to combat the witches have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, CAUSED by these witches‘ love quarrel).

Definitely Sam and Dean have their own issues which can be very destroying but in this episode they haven’t. It’s LOVERS’ quarrel that ruins everything, as in the whole season 7. Once you’ll understand it, season 7 becomes much more interesting. The writers should be clearer with us here, but they weren’t brave enough. Personally I think THAT was the main problem for Sarah, but except this she is a good writer and she did an excellent work for all of us Destiel shippers.

She prepared the scenery for the greatest love story I’ve seen.

Pie conversation between Sam and Dean in 7x22 refers to Cas’s unstable mind. The Leviathans messed up Dean’s pie, and now he and Sam should try to beat them to bring the pie back. Just change the word “pie” here with “Cas” and you’ll see that’s absolutely adequate metaphor given to us by the writers themselves.

Season 8 was a bliss for the shippers. I think Carver is a genius, I love the romantic story he made for Destiel SO MUCH. We see it within all of season he made, from 8 to 11, and it has a strong structure. Seasons 12-15 are more honest with DeanCas details and nuances, I’m absolutely in love with them, but simultaneously Destiel relationship in them is kinda... hidden sometimes, more than it was in seasons 8-11.

In seasons 8-11 we had certain plot circumstances that prevent Dean and Cas from being together. We have no such circumstances in seasons 12-15. So, are Dean and Cas together ALREADY? But why the hell that’s not IN THE TEXT? Or they are not together? But then why do they have couple dynamics?

Carver’s story for Destiel was PURE. The following story is more complex and in some way more painful, despite the fact we have Jack whom I adore. I fully understand writers’ reasons here: they can’t say in the text that Destiel is real till the end of the show, because I believe Destiel was the thing that's preventing show from shutting down all this time. The moment writers’ll recognize Destiel as a real thing for GA (like ”they are couple” in the text from the narrator we can trust) will be the moment that ends the show. OR THAT’S HOW DO THEY THINK.

Personally I think that it’ll be interesting to see TFW future adventures with canon Destiel and Saileen, ‘cause for me there should be some adventures then far and some couples’ problems too. As I said, in seasons 12-15 Dean and Cas act like an arranged couple ALREADY, and it’s still interesting to watch them. Actually the fact that they are NOT couple confirmed by writers yet was one of the main reasons of fans’ annoyance and show shutting down imao. ‘Cause you know, fans don’t like to be played all the time. Sarah made this mistake in season 7 already.

Carver didn’t play us.

So in season 8 we have 4 brilliant pie moments, connected with the all people who could be seen as Dean’s “family“ except Sam, one sure constant in his life. From this season we started to see Sam as Dean’s “child” and to understand it’s bad for both of them, it’s co-dependent relationship.

Notably, Dean fails to get his pie all these 4 times and despite the fact the other important for Dean people are involved, the pie ALWAYS refers to Cas.

Here are these moments:

8.09. Citizen Fang: At the Gumbo Shack, Dean asks Elizabeth for some pie, but she is out of what he wants. "You’re out of pecan? Story of my life," says Dean. Martin Creaser is later seen at the Gumbo Shack eating a piece of pie, before he takes Elizabeth hostage.

8.19. Taxi Driver: Dean brings takeout from Biggerson's for himself and Kevin Tran, including a slice of pie. The paranoid Kevin grabs a tray and retreats to the storeroom. Dean moans "That's my pie!"

8.20. Pac-Man Fever: Charlie Bradbury comments: "I will pick us up some grub, and unlike you Sam, I will not forget the pie" referring to Sam's long history of failing to get Dean his pie as requested, a fact she obviously read in the the Supernatural books. Notably, Charlie also fails to get Dean any pie.

8.22. Clip Show: At the Convenience store, Castiel buys things he knows Dean likes: beef jerky, beer, a copy of Busty Asian Beauties, toilet paper. He tries to buy pie, even going as far as threatening the convenience store clerk, but of course to no avail, continuing the running gag in which Dean never gets his pie.

Now let me explain.

8x09 takes place right after 8x08 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. More than that, the one who has the pie here is a villain of this episode and that refers to Naomi. Also, this episode involves Benny who basically is a part of Dean’s “family”, though never spoken and not the same as Cas for sure. Dean trusted Benny only because the vampire defended Cas in Purgatory. It was mentioned in many metas, it’s IN THE TEXT of the story. In case you doubt it, just re-watch 8x01, 8x02 and 8x05. There you can see all Dean’s and Benny’s dynamics.

Yep, Benny saved Dean’s life in 8x01 and helped him later, but the turning point in their relationship which was as far as it possible from the friendship was the moment when Benny saved Cas’s life. Despite of all the things he said about how dangerous is to search for Cas and to walk with him through the Purgatory.

In 8x09 Dean helps Benny as a part of his family, his brother-in-arms and friend, but he still has no pie. Truly story of his life.

The moment with the pie could also refer to Elisabeth. Martin has the pie = he has her as a hostage. Dean’s hint about the pie in their conversation sounds flirty as well, and Benny suspects something about Dean and his great-granddaughter.

But Elisabeth was in this episode only, though the pie metaphors remain. So I suppose that pie moment has more than one interpretation, and the essential to the whole plot one refers to Cas.

8x19 takes place right one episode after 8x17 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi... guess what? Yep, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. AGAIN.

This time it’s Kevin who stole the pie, also a part of the family. In season 9 Dean’ll call him a younger brother. Dean helps Kevin, brings him the food, they actually have the help of each other. Still, Dean doesn’t have his pie.

After the next conversation with Kevin in this episode Naomi comes. She says “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way”. No chances for the pie. Yep.

In 8x20 Charlie mentions the pie to reveal she’s read the books on Supernatural. She also mentions Cas to Dean and to Dean only. I think she understood the pie metaphor :) But also, even if she is a family to Dean and actually says him “I love you”, 100% platonically ‘cause she likes girls only, she fails to give Dean a pie. She isn’t his pie, and Cas - oh, he is still missing after 8x17 and Naomi’s words. No Cas = no pie. It’s the third time, guys.

Finally, in 8x22 Cas returns to Dean and decides to give him the pie himself. It’s funny how desperate he is about finding the pie for Dean - because actually HE IS A PIE.

Here Metatron comes, a villain for the next season, and make Cas forget about the pie - he provides some “greater” goals for Cas just to trick him.

I hate Metatron more than any other character in this story. He may be the ONE I hate at all - because it’s him who makes obstacles in Destiel way through seasons 8-11. He tricked Cas at the end of 8th season and took him from Dean, he killed Dean at the end of 9th season when Cas gave up an army for Dean, he was a reason of Dean and Cas disagreement in 10th season when Dean almost killed him, he said to Cas that he is expandable in season 11, which made Cas say “yes” to Lucifer. Not to mention he stole Cas’s grace, initiated Kevin’s assassination, killed packs of angels, worsened relationship between Cas and Heaven and was arrogant enough to claim himself a new God while manipulating homeless people. He was redeemed, found God and saved Cas from Amara, but I still don’t like him. He’s just a dick - just like Chuck, even worse.

The next season has two pie moments as far as I know, both of them refer to Cas:

9.03. I'm No Angel: Dean buys pie that Sam complains about. It does not appear that Dean gets a chance to eat the pie. Sam: Look at these chemicals. Do you even read the label? Dean: No. I read "pie." The rest is just "blah, blah, blah."

9.12. Sharp Teeth: Dean is given pie (baked by Sister Joyce and reputedly famous through the "Badger State") with lunch by a pack of werewolves. Although we don't see him eat it, Sam later says "They gave you lunch; they gave you pie".

9x03 is the episode where Cas is already a human and he is dangerous - the angels haunt him. But that’s not a big deal for Dean. He sees Cas, and the rest is just "blah, blah, blah". Though in this episode Dean has to kick Cas away. No pie again.

9x12 is the episode with Garth, who is also like family to Dean. They mourn about Kevin together and even share a hug. Garth is a werewolf here, he has a werewolf wife, and Dean and Sam are invited to the werewolves’ family dinner. The table is served with pies, which look just terrible. The same scary pies are in the fridge, while Dean is checking it, possibly looking for the human hearts. We don’t know if Dean’s eaten some pie here, but I suppose he’s not. ‘Cause this family, especially Sister Joyce, isn’t good after all... and because it’s Garth who get a pie here, not Dean. Garth found his romantic love and get happy life with her while Dean is carrying Mark of Cain now and after Kevin’s death can’t let himself to be happy. No pie, my friends. No pie.

Pie in the season 10 has rare appearances, we have more cake moments here, ‘cause Mark of Cain made Dean think about some new possibilities in his life for sure.

Still, we have such moments:

10.03. Soul Survivor: In between giving demon Dean purified blood injections, Sam goes to Dean's bedroom where he spots a half eaten piece of pie.

10.22. The Prisoner: When Crowley goes to a diner looking to make a deal with the cook, he is seen eating a slice of pie.

In 10x03 Dean is freed of being demon by Sam and Cas. We saw Sam couldn’t help him alone, and we saw Dean compliments Cas’s good look, as well as how is he upset when Cas said about female in his car. Cas came just to leave - so the pie wasn’t eaten again. But we have some progress here. :)

In 10x22 Dean hasn’t a pie either. He isn’t human again, not a demon, but not himself as well. He just doesn’t need food. He doesn’t need family business, family, love, trying something new. He doesn’t need Cas anymore. This is a heartbreaking episode with Destiel fight, with Dean who is actually less human than Crowley is. Despite Crowley shows his red eyes here, he also eats a cake. He CARES about Dean, Sam, Rowena, and last but not least he cares about Cas. I think that’s what his pie represents.

As much as I hate Metatron, I love Crowley. I’m sure that without him as an acting character Destiel would be just impossible and miss him so much in the latest seasons. He knew how to make it right.

As I said, there are NO PIE AND CAKE MOMENTS in season 11, which was supposed to make Destiel canon. But they didn’t. So, Mary, who was originally responsible for all this pie story, showed up. And the pie metaphor returned!

12.02. Mamma Mia: Dean finally gets some pie, when Mary brings him a blueberry pie after they have had dinner. To Dean's surprise, Mary admits that she actually bought the pie instead of making it as Dean previously believed his mother would do.

12.05. The One You've Been Waiting For: Sam brings a pie home from the store for Dean, but Dean is too distracted to eat it, opting instead to get a pie later after having killed Hitler.

12.10. Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Sam and Dean meets Ishim, who was Castiel’s superior. Dean is asking “Who wants some pie?” and by the end of conversation Ishim says “Have some pie“ to Dean while leaving money at the dinner table.

Here I must confess that I absolutely love Mary as well. :) I think she understands Dean, I think she knows that Cas is important for him from the time she’s first met him. Also I think she appreciates all that Cas’s doing. I wrote about it here just a bit, but actually there are a lot of examples. So that’s no wonder that is Mary who manages to give Dean a pie. In the end, in 12x12 Cas’ll say “I love you” because of what’s Mary done.

But again, the pie isn’t something that Mary made herself. She just can deliver the pie to Dean.

The pie moment from 12x05 is about Dean’s self-worth issue. Actually, Dean could have his pie, communicate with Cas despite Cas’s working with Crowley, but Dean thought he didn’t deserve that. He needed to do something nearly impossible, to kill Hitler, for instance, to fell worthy.

Back in the season 6, Cas’s working with Crowley was the reason of Dean and Cas’s fight, that literally almost ruined the world. So no wonder that Dean doesn’t like it.

I wrote about Destiel and Crowley here in details, from the start till the end. Just one little piece:

Season 12 - here Cas and Crowley start to look for Lucifer together and this is a horrible piece of news to Dean. Cas left him in 12x03 to work with Crowley again! Cas and Crowley are playing FBI agents together - it was Dean’s only role-play with Cas from 5x03!

The pie moment from 12x10 is textual only but important one, as for me. It’s well-known Steve Yokey’s episode,whom I absolutely adore. Here, during Cas and Dean’s conversation with Ishim, pie is mentioned:

Dean: Well, who wants some pie?

Ishim: You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an angel's angel. Now look how far he's fallen. Dean: How about a little coffee with that sugar? Ishim: No wings, no home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys. Dean: Oh. Well, you can go to Hell. Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Now that is refreshingly accurate. But since you brought a couple of extra “people” to our little chitchat, we should go somewhere more private. I have a safe house nearby. I'll go get Mirabel. So nice to see you, old friend. Have some pie.

Dean’s words about pie are for Ishim. Ishim ‘s words about pie are for Dean only - he also gives Dean some money. Their conversation begins and ends with a pie, and clearly they both understand the meaning. That’s why Ishim answers to Dean’s “Well, who wants some pie?” with “You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier“.

‘Cause for Dean Cas = pie. And Ishim gets that.

All their words could be translated like that:

Dean: Do you wanna my Cas?

Ishim: He isn’t in female vessel anymore, and this matters for me. Also, I envy you two happy gays who like sweets and chick-flick moments. Dean: Too much sugar in your coffee for the man who doesn’t like sweets. You certainly wanna him for your purposes, and I won’t let you have him. Ishim: He was much more better with me back then. Dean: You used him. Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Oh, we’ll talk about him. In my place ‘cause I need some insurance. Your boyfriend is too aggressive. I’m interested in Mirabel, not in you, old friend, ‘cause she listens to my commands and looks pretty. And you can have your Cas, poor-trained monkey. Some charity from me here.

I love this episode so, so much. I’ve re-watched it for 10 times at least and I’m certain about “pie=Cas” meaning for 100%. To tell the truth, this conversation between Dean and Ishim was the reason I’ve decided to write this meta.

In season 13 we have one visual moment with pie:

13.08. The Scorpion and the Frog: When the Winchesters arrive at Smile Diner to meet with the Crossroads Demon Barthamus, Barthamus offers Dean a slice of cherry pie. After Barthamus leaves, Dean begins eating the pie, earning him a look from Sam.

Barthamus offers Dean a spell to find Jack. When Jack is back, Cas is back. Sam tells is to Dean some episodes later. Of course, Dean wants Cas back, so he took this possibility to get his pie, even if he didn’t like Barthamus.

There was also one textual pie moment in season 13, which refers to Cas. I wrote about it here.

There are some pie moments in season 14:

14.06. Optimism: While working a case with Jack Kline, Dean order pie for both of them and gets to actually enjoy it for once without any sort of interruption aside from Jack's awkward questions about sex.

14.10. Nihilism: Cas sees through Dean’s good memories, and here Dean’s words from 2.21 are mentioned: “Hey, see if they got any pie!“

14.11. Damaged Goods: As she goes shopping for the ingredients for Winchester Surprise, Mary promises to get pie. She returns with an apple pie, but they do not get around to eating it.

14.16. Don't Go in the Woods: Pie is apparently on Dean's shopping list for Jack Kline as he is seen examining one. Jack later tells Dean that he bought everything on the list except the beer, as Jack has no valid ID and he didn't want to use a fake one, suggesting that Jack did indeed buy the pie. It is unknown if Dean ever gets to eat it, but it's possible, since Dean had nothing to interrupt him from enjoying the pie after he got back to the Bunker except for going to the store to buy beer.

In 14x06 Dean and Jack both have Cas with them. And Jack asks Dean about sex. Hmmm. Yokey’s episode, guys!

14x10 is also Yokey’s. So, Cas=pie metaphor could be used here as well - pie moment from 2x21 changes.

14x11 - if Dean is going to seal himself in the Mal’ak box, there will be no pie=Cas for him for sure. ‘Cause THE CLOSET, guys.

14x16 - as long as Jack is the Dean, the pie=Cas is with him. We’ll see the opposite thing in the next few episodes.

As well as in seasons 13-14, pie moments in season 15 is far too easy to read:

15.10. The Heroes' Journey: Dean attempts to buy a copy of Delicious Pies magazine, but is denied when his credit card is declined.

15.11. The Gamblers: Dean learns that he and Sam only have enough money for two cups of coffee and a slice of pie. Dean asks for two forks for himself and Sam to share the pie, but complains about not getting to eat a cheeseburger instead. However, Dean never gets to eat his pie as the waitress notices that the Impala has a flat tire before she can bring it to him.

15x10 - no luck=no pie=no Cas. Sam mentions that they are unlucky and that Cas isn’t with them in one line here, and he is right undeniably. Also, it’s interesting that this time it’s not the pie itself that Dean is buying. It’s a magazine how to cook them! After his nearly love confession to Cas in 15x09 Dean is ready to make his happiness himself. Sadly, he is no luck this episode.

And he isn’t buying Asian Beauties magazine! Unbelievable.

15x11 - here Dean isn’t flirting with the waitress AT ALL. No cheeseburgers, he is to pie=Cas strictly now. He can complain, but he even can’t eat cheese for now - here Sam tells that to him. Cheese may also refer to his hunter’s life - without his luck Dean can’t be a hunter. Maybe it’s the taste of the peaceful future? ;) We’ll see.

The word “pie” can also refer to women. But I believe that above there are enough evidences that the pie meaning here is different.

That’s what we are calling a subtext.

Thanks for the reading!

_______________________

This was the last Destiel topic I’ve wanted to write about this far. Let’s see what the last 7 episodes’ll bring. :)

I’d be happy to analyze any Destiel moment with you guys so feel free to write in my ask and to comment.

#Destiel #dean winchester #dean/castiel #dean/cas #CasDean #DEANCAS #destiel meta #destiel-meta #castiel #benny lafitte #supernatural #SPN #Kevin Tran #Charlie Bradbury

7 notes · View notes

ohblackdiamond · 4 years

Text

little t&a (paul/gene, nc-17) (part 7 of 29)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13 part 14 part 15 part 16 part 17 part 18 part 19 part 20 part 21 part 22 part 23 part 24 part 25 part 26 part 27 part 28 part 29

Four weeks before KISS gets back on tour, Gene discovers that Paul’s been cursed by a groupie. For the sake of KISS’ finances, Paul’s comfort levels, and Gene’s libido, this crisis must be resolved. Sexswap fic. In this chapter: Gene and Paul make some inquiries and find an apartment.

They didn’t waste time. Well, they didn’t waste much time. As expected, Gene was starting to get flocked again, even though they were trying to head straight to the bar. Gene didn’t really like to push past people, if he could help it—Big John was usually there to do it for him—and Paul, to his credit, wasn’t stomping on his foot now that they were in the club. He just kept shooting Gene pissed-off looks as the fans stammered at him and gave him napkins to sign.

It was hard to hear any real talk outside of the blare of the band. Gene was just scribbling on napkins, barely offering a nod to whatever the person in front of him was telling him. It wasn’t until they made it to one dingy corner that he could actually understand the conversation around him.

“Who’s he got with him?”

“She’s kinda pretty. I don’t recognize her.”

“Maybe she’s another singer? You think he’s trying to promote her?”

“Promote her? That’s so cute…”

He’d gotten used to people talking about him while he was in earshot, but not quite like this. He’d had starlets hanging off his arm before, dated some of them, even. The gossip was just to sell magazines; it hadn’t ever bothered him. But it was strange, being the only one who knew full well who was actually standing next to him. It was really strange.

He turned to tell Paul that, but Paul spoke before he could.

“God, I had no idea.”

“No idea about what?”

“About how much it has to suck dating any of us.” Paul let go of Gene’s waist, finally, going for his hand instead. His fingers curved around Gene’s with an odd abruptness, as if Paul was afraid Gene would pull his hand away if he lingered too long. “Never mind marrying. Lydia deserves a fucking medal. Jeanette, too.”

“You don’t get very public with dating.”

“Yeah, but… anything out and about. Banquets. Gala shit where you’ve gotta bring somebody. We end up shaking hands and taking photos and talking about business, and they’re… what’re the girls doing? Nothing. They have to just sit through it.”

Gene was distracted out of an immediate answer. Distracted by something even less comfortable than Paul’s legs in the fishnets or the tightness of his cotton tee. Distracted by the hand in his. Paul’s hand wasn’t really that soft or terribly small, but it fit well enough in his. How long had it been since he’d genuinely held hands with a girl? High school, or maybe sophomore year of college. By the time Wicked Lester rolled around, he’d long since stopped being that sentimental. And by the time KISS started, it was all carnal. It hadn’t felt empty, either; he hadn’t felt like he was really missing anything by jumping straight to the best part—

He could have sworn Paul gave his palm a brief squeeze, lifting him back into reality. Paul definitely was throwing him a raised eyebrow, corner of his mouth lifting up quizzically.

“Gene?”

“Oh. Are you having that bad a time?”

“Not when I think about how they’ve missed out on half the autographs.” Paul laughed dryly. “Come on. You’ve put me through enough tonight. You owe me.”

“What do I owe you?”

Paul started to smile.

“A drink.”

“Paul, that’s a terrible idea.”

“I’ve got to look like I’m at the bar for a reason, right?” Paul shrugged. “C’mon. I only want one.”

They settled in front of the bar, Paul gingerly leaning up with his elbows against the counter, looking for the bartender. Gene wished he’d thought to take notes during the visit to the psychic. What had she said again? Brown hair, freckles—no, that was the girl—what did the girl’s brother look like? He frowned, trying to remember. Paul nudged him.

“Would you hang back some? I wanna do this myself. I think it’ll turn out better if he doesn’t think I’m with you.”

“This whole club knows you’re with me.”

Half of him hoped Paul would at least look embarrassed at the intimation, but he didn’t. He just shrugged.

“Exclusively. Oh, there we go. That’s got to be him, there’s the combover.” Paul pointed at one of the guys behind the counter just briefly enough for Gene to see, before clearing his throat. “Hi, there! Could I get a Tom Collins?”

He hadn’t stopped to consider there might be more than one balding guy working there. The bartender blinked at him, but nodded, and started to mix the drink. Gene sighed and pulled out his wallet.

“Just one.”

“Please. There’s barely any alcohol in these.”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m serious, too. Let me do something for myself here, would you? Trust me.”

Gene nearly argued him down. Paul getting drunk would be an absolute disaster. But looking at him, that frustrated tilt to the corners of his mouth, the consternation, he realized that wasn’t what Paul meant. For all that Paul had driven them everywhere, it had basically been on Gene’s insistence. He’d taken over the last couple of days. Not maliciously, but maybe that didn’t matter.

“Here you go, sweetheart,” the bartender said, pushing the drink towards Paul. Gene shoved a bill at him in return.

“Thanks.” Paul didn’t even taste it immediately. “Hey, doesn’t your sister come here?”

The bartender cocked his head.

“Who’s asking?”

“Paul Stanley’s asking.”

The bartender started to laugh. Something about the way his eyes crinkled up in amusement made Gene think of aluminum foil. Just the thinness of the skin, he supposed.

“No kidding? Carol really got him this time?”

“A couple times. Is she here tonight?” Paul took a sip of the cocktail, then slid a finger around the rim of the glass, almost absently. Gene thought he was laying it on too thick. Probably extra revenge for the scene outside the club, and the mobbing afterwards. Whatever. Maybe the saddest thing about it was that it wasn’t even a new gesture out of him. Any second now and he’d be putting that finger in his mouth. “He wants to talk to her.”

“Wants to talk to her, my ass.” He snorted. “How do you know her?”

Paul gestured vaguely at Gene. Gene ignored them both.

“Gotcha.” Whatever the bartender thought about rockstars and groupies and girlfriends, Gene didn’t care, and he didn’t divulge. “She stopped coming a few weeks ago. She’s been trying a bunch of clubs out.”

“Yeah? Like where?”

“She went to Hurrah for awhile, and the Ice Palace. I can’t keep up.”

Paul took another swallow of his cocktail. Licked his lips. Gene was trying not to make the attention he was paying too obvious—no matter how weirdly irritating the whole deal was, he didn’t want to screw this up, make the guy antsy—but he wasn’t sure how long Paul could go without sounding desperate, either.

“Do you have her number?”

The bartender snorted.

“She doesn’t stay in one place long enough for that.”

“Then where could I—”

“Ask Mary-Anne over there. The redhead in the jumpsuit. They run around together.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” He winked. “You got a name?”

“Uh—”

“Julia, c’mon,” Gene rattled out, taking his hand again and tugging him away from the bar. Paul’s offended expression could have cut diamonds.

“You can’t call me by my sister’s name.”

“Well, I can’t call you Paul.”

“You can still call me Paulie, idiot.”

“Not when you say that’s who’s looking for her.”

“Then just don’t call me anything.” Paul shook his head and sipped at his cocktail again. “Julia, Jesus Christ…”

“Julia’s cute.”

“Julia is out of her mind.”

“It got you to react, that’s what’s important.” He never had nicknamed Paul anyway. It would’ve felt weird on his tongue. Four letters, one syllable, was still all that suited him. “You think we got the right bartender?”

“Almost positive.” Paul exhaled. “I was looking at him pretty hard.”

“I noticed.” Gene snorted.

“Not like—I still can’t remember the girl too great, but there’s sorta a family resemblance. Same complexions, I think. He had freckles, too, did you notice?”

“Not really. You told me to hang back.”

“Sorry.” Paul’s slowly-mounting excitement wasn’t as infectious as Gene had expected it to be. His smile was wider than it had been since he’d met him on the porch. Gene could almost see the little gears just under Paul’s bangs trying to pursue a conclusion. “Trying Hurrah wouldn’t be too bad as long as you kept my sunglasses on. Nobody I know is there. But I’m asking her friend first. Gene, if we can get a number, or if we can get the chick to take us to Carol… we’ve got it. We’ve got it.”

Gene wasn’t convinced. But Paul looked so damn hopeful that it was hard to want to ruin it for him. Finding particular girls was easier, paradoxically, at a concert, with plenty of roadies and bodyguards more than eager to help, just to snag a bit on the side. Doing all the legwork themselves, at clubs…

“C’mon, Gene. Let’s talk to her.”

Mary-Anne’s jumpsuit was denim and almost painfully unflattering. Paired with her cropped hair, she looked more like she belonged at a factory than at CBGB. Definitely didn’t come off as a groupie. Gene preferred his girls softer-looking than that.

Desperation, optimism, and half a cocktail were pushing Paul into more action than he’d readily got out of him this whole time. For how long, Gene didn’t know. Paul clasped his free hand in Gene’s again and they both headed for her. She was perched by the wall, nursing a drink of her own, talking aimlessly to a couple of guys.

“Mary-Anne, right?” Paul interrupted gracelessly, flashing a grin. “Nice to meet you.”

Mary-Anne offered up a perturbed look in response, one that faded when her eyes went from Paul to Gene.

“Hi.”

“You know Carol, yeah?”

God. Gene wasn’t any better at schmoozing than Paul was, but going right to it, with only Gene’s celebrity to even out the abruptness of the question… he just shook his head.

“Carol Jensen? Yeah. Do you want her?” Mary-Anne wasn’t looking at Paul when she said it. She was looking at Gene. “Don’t make her ask for you.”

“I’m not—” Paul bristled, but Gene cut him off.

“I don’t want her. It’s Paul Stanley that does.”

Gene’s concern that they’d gotten the wrong bartender, and the wrong friend, dissolved at the look on Mary-Anne’s face. It was amused in a way that made him uneasy.

“Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“She hates that guy’s guts.” Mary-Anne took a long gulp of her drink, and shook her head. “I dunno why. I always thought you were supposed to be the worst one, what with all the pictures. But every time a KISS song comes on…” Mary-Anne clicked her tongue. “That’s it, baby.”

“Where’s she at now? He really wants to see her.”

“I don’t know. Last I heard, she was getting into Studio 54 almost every night.”

“Seriously?” Paul blurted. “How is she—”

“You know how.”

Paul faltered. Gene’s mind was in overdrive. Unconsciously, his hand tightened around Paul’s.

“Do you see her often? Can you… do you have her number? Or her address?” he asked suddenly. “Give me yours, too, while you’re at it. I’ll have all our albums sent signed.”

“Don’t bother with that.” Mary-Anne waved her hand. “Rockstars stopped owing me a long time ago. I’ll give you her address for free. You got a pen?”

Gene had lifted one on accident from an autograph-seeker earlier. He handed it over. She squinted in the club lights to scribble it down on a napkin. She was talking as she wrote.

“I used to really be in the scene a couple years back. Carol still thinks she’s gonna be the next Bebe or Pamela des Barres. I told her she’d be better off just being Carol.” She gave Gene the napkin. He passed it to Paul on automatic. “She can’t keep an apartment. I can’t promise you’ll get her.”

“I’ll take the chance. You’ve been very helpful.”

Mary-Anne shrugged.

“Sure, sure.” Another gulp of her drink. “You be good to her, okay?”

“To Carol?”

“No.” She looked at Paul hard, then shook her head. “You’re too sweet for all this bullshit. Don’t let him screw that up for you.”

They left the club about an hour after that. Paul wanted to head off immediately, but Gene didn’t trust Paul with that half a cocktail in him, especially now that he was down several dozen pounds and a handful of inches. Couldn’t metabolize the alcohol as well. So they listened to the band—the Ramones, or so someone said—and Gene signed more autographs for an audience that was getting drunker by the minute.

“They’re from Queens,” Paul called out over the din at one point. God help him, he had actually started jumping around a bit once they’d gotten more than midway through their setlist. Every excitable hop sent his t-shirt gradually riding up, breasts still bouncing slightly with the movement, despite the bra. Unaware as hell. Gene had to resist the urge to tug down the hem for him.

“Who?”

“The band, they’re from Queens.”

“They’ve been on the same note for three songs straight!”

Paul started laughing.

“That’s punk.”

“That’s shit, Paul.”

“They love it, though. Can’t you tell they love it?”

Gene had to admit he could. He thought he knew what Paul meant now, about the bands at CBGB. How they had that exuberance about them that KISS was missing. That rawness. KISS used to be terrifying, in-your-face, but now… shit, they had just-add-water tattoos and foldout paper pistols included in their albums like they were Cracker Jack prizes. Looking at the Ramones ramming through another toneless song, he realized, a little morosely, that what they had would dissolve as soon as they hit it big, too. If they ever did.

“We better go before they finish up the set. I bet they’ll wanna talk to you.” Paul cocked his head. “You don’t wanna get mobbed on the way out. There’s another exit, I’ll show you.”

Gene checked his watch before nodding. Paul took his hand again and led him out of the club and back into the watery late evening. They got back to the parking lot without incident, and soon, Paul was headed straight to Carol’s apartment.

“I don’t think we’ll get her tonight, honestly,” Paul said. “Studio 54 doesn’t exactly turn into a pumpkin at midnight.”

“None of the discos do.”

“But we’ve still got a location. Her address is everything we need, really. If we can leave her a note, or… I bet she’s got roommates; if we can tell them, we can get in contact. We won’t have to hunt around in Studio 54 tomorrow. We can just go for it.”

“Have you thought about what you’re going to say to her?”

Paul shrugged.

“I’ll offer to pay her. I don’t know what else she could want.” Paul turned off on a corner. “I still don’t know what I did to her.”

“You fucked her.”

“Yeah, but… I wasn’t mean about it. I don’t even remember us getting together the first time. You think I got her pregnant?”

“Maybe. The psychic and Mary-Anne both said that she hated you.”

“But if I did, then, shit, couldn’t she have filed a paternity lawsuit? KISS would’ve just settled out of court, given her some hush money… she didn’t have to curse me over it.”

“Maybe you gave her VD.”

“But all you need for VD is antibiotics! How would she know it was me, anyway? Groupies’ll do anybody.”

“I don’t know, Paul.” The area was getting crummier with every block, the apartment complexes seeming almost despondent. More of New York City looked like that than he’d allowed himself to see in years. The filth, the wretchedness was squared away like an unruly child. It made Gene feel almost ashamed, as Paul pulled into a crammed parking lot about a block from the complex. Most of the other car models there were a decade old or more. Paul’s stood out painfully against them. “Are you really sure you want to go in?”

“I’m not scared.”

“Let me be scared for you. Mary-Anne was.”

“Mary-Anne thinks I’m some starry-eyed idiot that thinks you just wanna play patty-cake.” Paul snorted. “I’ll pass.”

“I’m coming with you.”

Paul pursed his lips but nodded.

The rain had slowed to a drizzle. Gene had Paul by the arm instead of the hand now as they walked down the block. It wasn’t deserted, if you knew where to look. Every bit of it derelict and abandoned. Gene was worried they’d get mugged—fuck, wouldn’t that be something for the papers, exactly the unmasking he didn’t need—all the way up until they entered the building, and even then, he wasn’t reassured. The floor was covered in trash and cigarette butts. The out-of-order sign on the elevator didn’t make him any happier.

“What floor was it again?”

Paul glanced at the napkin.

“Seventh.”

“Great.”

They took the stairs, Paul following behind Gene. Some of the handrails were nonexistent; all of them had gum stuck beneath them. Gene could smell marijuana smoke leaking from one of the apartments. Maybe more.

“This is a real crappy place, Gene,” Paul said after two or three flights. He wasn’t even panting yet.

“No kidding.”

“I mean… I never thought about it. Before. I never thought about what the girls go home to.” Paul swallowed. “It sounds so fucking naïve, right, but I really—I really assumed they were all… y’know, college girls, or something, not…”

He trailed off to nothing by the time they made it to her floor. Gene watched him check the napkin again, and then they headed to her door. 714.

“You sure you want to try?” Gene’s throat felt odd. “It’s almost two. If she’s here, you’ll just piss her off.”

“I should’ve waited until tomorrow,” Paul mumbled. “We’re already here. I might as well.”

He knocked on the door. Waited a couple seconds. One more knock. There was a rustling sound, then a few thumps. Footsteps. The door opened, just a bit, the door chain on top more visible in the fluorescent light than the face of the woman answering.

“The fuck are you doing? Jesus.”

“Hey, I—I’m sorry, I was looking for Carol, Carol Jensen, I thought that—” Paul glanced at Gene, but the woman cut him off before Gene could add anything more.

“Carol got out of here two weeks ago.”

“Do you know where she might’ve—”

Her eyes narrowed.

“No, and I don’t care. That little bitch stiffed us out of her share of the rent. Find her yourself.”

#kiss the band #kiss fanfiction #paul stanley #gene simmons #gene simmons x paul stanley

6 notes · View notes

thebeethathums · 6 years

Text

The Baker - 4

From the frustrated look on Sherlock’s face when he emerged from the morgue with John, the brother’s body had held very little information to aid in solving the case, something you’d anticipated. For that reason, you hadn’t minded waiting outside to take care of a pressing phone call while they went in and took a look, the call had been more important anyways- a matter of national security.

The cab ride home from there consisted of Sherlock filling you in on what you’d missed while you tapped feverishly at your phone, nodding every so often, and John just looking on with a sigh. As they walked through the door to the flat, you announced, “I have some work to do. I hope you don’t mind if I commandeer the table?”

Sherlock just waved a hand, already flopping down on the couch in his thinking position, and John shrugged indifferently, so you set up your laptop and things on the table in the living room and, after slapping an antistatic bracelet on each of their wrists as a precaution, settled in to work.

A number of hours later, Sherlock bolted up, finding John in his chair with his laptop and you in the middle of dissecting what looked to be some sort of satellite-targeted grappling gun, a pair of magnifying glasses pressed on your face. He smirked at you, “You owe me ten pounds. I’ve figured it out.”

“Figured what out?” you hummed distractedly, not looking up, and Sherlock rolled his eyes, “The case, of course.”

Pausing in your work, you looked up at him with a quirked eyebrow, “You were still working on that?”

He blinked at you and then had a realization, letting out a sigh, “When?”

You went back to your work as you responded, “Nearly three hours ago. I texted Lestrade and he’s already made the arrest… so I believe it is you that owes me ten pounds. You’re getting slow, Sherlock.”

John stifled a chuckle as Sherlock rolled over to sulk over the fact that you’d not only figured it out first but that you’d hadn’t told him right away and you continued on as if nothing had happened. It was around five in the afternoon and you could have easily gone home but you had wanted to see how long it took him to figure it out and now you were more than focused on your work- it made more sense to stay. You’d missed 221B and Sherlock anyways.

It was tensely quiet for a while and when John absolutely couldn’t take it anymore, he went out to get some take away for dinner and some air, hoping that giving the two of you some time alone would help.

“You can’t sulk forever, Sherlock,” you stated when the outer door to the flat shut downstairs and he simply grunted, causing you to laugh.

He scooted so you could sit next to him when you put down your work to join him on the couch, tucking his toes under your arm as you stretched out in the opposite direction of him. There was barely enough room for the both of you to sit like that but somehow you always managed to fit and he studied you from his position across from you for a long moment.

When you leaned your head back with a tired sigh, he started in, “You’ve taken on more work from the government than ever before in addition to nearly single-handedly running your bakery, doing most -if not all- the baking yourself. You’ve dated three… no four men and two women since you left but none of them could keep up with you or keep your interest. Not to mention the fact that Mycroft has been doing his duties as an elder brother and discreetly sabotages any dates with those he does not approve of, which in this case is all of them. You talk to Mycroft as little as possible because you are angry with him and the excessive amount of work you put upon yourself has isolated you from your usual group of friends... You are bored and lonely, little sister.”

You patted his leg lightly, closing your eyes, “I was not lying when I said I missed you terribly. Three years is quite a long time to go without being challenged on both a professional and personal level. Mycroft tries to keep me from going completely off the edge with challenging assignments but I’m afraid technology can only go so far.”

Sherlock stroked your leg sympathetically, knowing that feeling all too well and unable to imagine going as long as you had without simply blowing something up, “Come back then. Challenging each other as we used to keeps us both sharp and I certainly wouldn’t mind having you along with me again.”

A hesitant look passed across your face and he pressed, “You don’t have to stay here. Keep your flat and the bakery… it seems to provide as good a distraction for you as the violin does for me, but join me on cases again. I know John will feel less animosity towards me with you along- you always were better at dealing with social conventions- and I’d like to make up for lost time.”

“But Mycroft-“ you started and he was quick to cut you off, “We’ve both long since stopped listening to him. Why begin to do so now?”

A wicked grin spread across your face, “A fair point, elder brother.”

“Glad you find it such, little sister,” he hummed, returning just as mischievous a grin, and the two of you giggled at each other.

John came home to the ringing sound of gunshots, bolting up the stairs to find you folded in his chair rapidly typing away at your laptop and Sherlock slouched down in his own chair across from you, the gun hanging loosely from his long pale fingers.

He rapidly demanded, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Bored,” you offered, not looking up, and Sherlock echoed the sentiment, making John bewilderedly stumble, “What?”

Before John could move further into the flat, Sherlock was up and shooting the wall again as he shouted, “Bored!”

You rolled your eyes as John grabbed the gun from him, “I do wish you’d find a quieter way of dealing with it, Sherly. What happened to the crossbow?”

“Didn’t pack enough punch,” he answered simply as John gaped and then he huffed, “What is it with the criminal classes these days… at the very least they could mix it up. Rude, is what it is.”

John's eyebrows shot up, “So you take it out on the wall?”

“The wall had it coming,” he answered dully, flopping down on the couch as John blinked at him and you flatly stated, “Hardly.”

Sherlock glared at you for a moment, “It certainly deserved it far more so than the object of your boredom. Who are you toying with today?”

“Anderson and by extension Donovan.”

He gave a weak chuckle, “I take it back. They are more than deserving.”

“Do you think he’ll ever figure out why the elevator door keeps closing on him?” you wondered lazily and Sherlock scoffed, “Of course not. He’s an idiot.”

John looked between the two of you and then furrowed his brow, “What?”

Sherlock sighed, “It’s quite simple, John. Honestly. When there is nothing else to do and the boredom sets in, (F/n) hacks CCTV -among other things- and messes with the lives of strangers and those she dislikes. Today she has rightfully chosen Anderson. I suspect she may even be behind your row with the chip and pin machine.”

John looked accusingly towards you and you shrugged, “I have no idea what he’s talking about but if I did, I could assure you it was only a passive-aggressive expression of jealousy.”

Sherlock snorted, “John could never replace you, (F/n)”

Though you wouldn’t admit it, John was fairly certain that Sherlock's suspicion was correct and was mildly smug over the fact you’d been jealous of him before turning his attention back to the wall. He ran a hand down his face with a sigh, he should have known two Holmes' under the same roof was never good- no matter how corrigible you seemed.

120 notes · View notes

madewithonerib · 4 years

Photo

Guilt & Grievance, Part 1 | Colin Smith

Grief invariably has its what ifs & if onlys, "I should have done more & there are things that looking back now, that I could have done & I could have done them differently & if I had done what I didn't do, it might have made all the difference in the world you know.."

Welcome to unlocking the BIBLE with pastor Colin Smith, & Colin one of the things I hear you say pretty frequently is the BIBLE addresses everything we experience in life.

Including those times we look back in, & have this sense of guilt because of something that we feel we should have or could have done.

Yes & we're in the book of Lamentations, that deals with the loss & grief, & you know grief always comes with guilt attached [yeah].

I don't think I have ever had a conversation with someone who's lost a loved one, where there hasn't been some aspect to:

"I wished I had done this, I should have done that, I haven't said something that I should have said. Or I said something I wished I had never said.

Now how are you going to deal with guilt? This is a really important question.

People sometimes said, "Well I know that GOD's forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself."

Well how are you going to deal with that?

How are you going to come to a place of finding peace over something that just stays with you in your stomach & you can't get away from it?

And then people say, "Well there's true guilt & there's false guilt." Well actually that's not very helpful.

What are you going to do if it's false guilt? How are you going to deal with that?

You still have to deal with it.

And you know what GOD has given us, a whole book of the BIBLE that deals with these issues:

It's the book of Lamentations.

It's all about loss, & there's a huge amount about guilt in it & about how we're to deal with the guilt that we may often feel.

So these are not the most popular of subjects, but you know what?

They're subjects that all of us encounter in the reality of life & thank GOD HE has spoken in HIS WORD about what we need to hear & about the realities of the life that we experience.

Well grab your BIBLE then & join us in Lamentations 1, as we begin a message on guilt & grievance.

Here is pastor Colin:

Today I want to focus on another pair of themes, that run all the way through the book of Lamentations & these are guilt & grievance.

Now let's start then with this very important subject of guilt.

I want you to see that GOD has given to us, not one, but two whole books of the BIBLE, that deal with the subject of suffering grief & loss.

One of these of course is the book of Lamentations, that we're looking at here, the other is the book of Job.

Now why would GOD have given us two books on this one subject in the SCRIPTURE?

Well it's very important to observe the differences between these two books, because they speak to different scenarios.

And it's very important to observe the differences.

Never more so than in relation to the subject of guilt.

Now guilt as you will remember, play absolutely no part whatsoever in the book or the story of Job.

Job was a righteous man.

The very first v.of the book of Job tells us:

He was blameless, he was outright, he feared GOD & he turned away from evil.

That's four statements, that right at the beginning say, whatever happens to Job was nothing to do with sin in his life.

He was a blameless & an upright man.

That's very very clear, from the very first verse. Of course his friends didn't believe that;

& the whole story evolves as his friends come along & they're convinced in their mind that GOD brings good to those who're good

& brings trouble to those who are wicked.

And therefore because trouble has come to Job, that must be a fact to mean that there is some secret hidden sin in his life.

And so they come & they sit with him, that was good; but then they come to him & they say:

Well why don't you just confess?

Obviously because this is happening to you, there must be some secret sin that we don't know about that's at the root.

Why don't you just own up to it? Why don't you just tell us the truth? There must be something.

And this goes on & on & on, Job protests his innocence.

He says, "No I'm in the right." [Job 9:15] He says, "I'm blameless" [Job 9:20-21].

Job 9:15 | For even if I were right, I could not answer. I could only beg my Judge for mercy.

Job 9:20-21 | Even if I were righteous, my mouth would condemn me; if I were blameless, it would declare me guilty. Though I am blameless, I have no concern for myself; I despise my own life.

Do you remember at the end of the story of Job, very significantly GOD stands with Job & not with his friends.

And GOD says to Eliphaz [Job 42:7],

"MY anger burns against you & the friends, for you have not spoken of ME right, as have MY servant Job."

Job 42:7 | After the LORD had spoken these words to Job, HE said to Eliphaz the Temanite,

“MY wrath is kindled against you & your two friends. For you have not spoken about ME accurately, as MY servant Job has.

Job has spoken faithfully about ME, you & your friends, GOD says to Eliphaz, "have misrepresented ME, because you have been so convinced that the root of every suffering there must be some sin that is it's cause."

Walter Kaiser says, "One of the harshest things that we mortals can ever impose on one another, is the flippant way in which we can automatically assume that any pain anguish or something visited on another person must be the result of that person's sin."

And you know what it happens.

It happened in John 9, & as I was thinking about this, I thought:

"Yes, yes the Pharisees did this with regards to the blind man."

And as I looked it up just to check the reference in John 9, I was struck by the fact that it wasn't the Pharisees, it was the disciples of JESUS.

John 9:1 says, "HIS disciples asked HIM,

'Rabbi who sinned? Was it this man or was his parents, that he was born blind?'

And JESUS answered, 'It was not that this man sinned, or that his parents had sinned.

But that the works of GOD might be displayed in him.'"

In other words JESUS says:

if you think that all grief & long-suffering is related to personal sin, you're completely wrong.

There is a kind of suffering that comes in the world, in which the purpose of GOD is to display of HIS glory.

It's an amazing thing when that happens.

Of course that's what happened in the story Job. When he suffered the glory of GOD was revealed to him.

So he said, "YOU know I have heard with my ears, but now I see with my eye!"

Not only is the glory of GOD revealed to him, the glory of GOD was revealed in him, & the glory of GOD was revealed through him.

So that down through the generations, GOD has used that man's testimony & suffering for the strengthening & the comforting of millions.

So guilt plays no part in the story of Job. [7:35]

2.] True Guilt: Requires GOD’s Grace

But GOD has given us two books.

Guilt is written all over the book of Lamentations.

And I want you to see this as we turn to Lamentations, let me give you six references; I’ll give them in quick succession, so if you’re taking notes just jot the reference.

Rather than to try & write all of these down.

2.1]

Let’s begin in Lamentations 1:18

Lamentations 1:18-20 | The LORD is righteous, for I have rebelled against HIS command.

Listen, all you people; look upon my suffering.

My young men & maidens have gone into captivity. I called out to my lovers, but they have betrayed me.

My priests & elders perished in the city while they searched for food to keep themselves alive.

See, O LORD, how distressed I am! I am churning within; my heart is pounding within me, for I have been most rebellious.

Outside, the sword bereaves; inside, there is death.

This is the very opposite of what we find in Job, so it’s a totally different situation, we’re dealing with.

I am distressed, why?

Verse 20, because I have been rebellious.

Verse 22, “deal with them as YOU have dealt with me. because of all of my transgressions.

Or Lamentations 3:42-44, or 4:13-15, 4:22..

Lamentations 3:42-44 | “We have sinned & rebelled; YOU have not forgiven.” YOU have covered YOURSELF in anger & pursued us; YOU have killed without pity. YOU have covered YOURSELF with a cloud that no prayer can pass through.

Lamentations 4:13-15 | But this was for the sins of her prophets & the guilt of her priests, who shed** the blood of the righteous in her midst.

They wandered blind in the streets, defiled by this blood, so that no one dared to touch their garments.

“Go away! Unclean!” men shouted at them. “Away, away! Do not touch us!” So they fled & wandered.

Among the nations it was said, “They can stay here no longer.”

**guilt: iniquities of her priests, who shed the blood of the righteous

Lamentations 4:22 | O Daughter of Zion, your punishment is complete;*** HE will not prolong your exile. But HE will punish your iniquity, O Daughter of Edom; HE will expose your sins.

The punishment of your iniquity is accomplished.***

So you can see immediately that this is a theme that runs through all the book & it could not be more opposite from what we find in the book of Job.

It’s describing entirely different situations.

Lamentations is like the thief on the cross, who you remember said, “we are getting what our deeds deserve.”

That confession is all over the book of Lamentations [9:30]

So Job & Lamentations are kind of like book ends on the spectrum of guilt in the experience of grief & loss.

In Job, guilt plays absolutely no part at all.

In Lamentations it’s all over the place.

Now let me suggest this to you, most of us in our experience of grief, sorrow, & loss—will experience something between the book of Job & the book of Lamentations.

Grief usually comes with some guilt attached.

What should I have done that I didn’t do?

What did I do that I shouldn’t have done?

Grief invariably has its “what ifs” & its “if onlys”

If only I had done this!

Oh if only I had not done that..

If only I had called the doctor sooner..

If only we had not planned that trip...

I should have done more & there were things looking back now that I could have done, & I could have done them differently, & if I had done what I didn’t do, it might have made all the difference in the world, you know

A grieved person will also often find that thing that were said & done years ago, suddenly come back to mind & bring a fresh guilt—even though they had been long forgotten.

Harsh words that you spoke, perhaps a long time ago, & now the memory of them comes back, now that the person is gone.

And oh you wished you had never said that. How could I have said that? [11:45]

Foolish things you did.

Oh I was such a fool when I was young.

Dr. Packer puts it this way: Old guilts & neglects come back to mind, thoughts of what we could & should have done differently & better come hammering at our hearts like battering rams.

Now that's part of the experience of grief.

Sometimes there are issues directly related to the death of a loved one. A loyal spouse keeps watch, for days, by a bed side.

Then steps out of the room for an hour or two, & they cannot forgive themselves for that they were not there at the end.

Then of course, on top of the "what ifs" & the "if onlys" there's this whole horrible matter of the sense of unfinished business.

Especially if a loss has come suddenly & unexpectedly, & there was not the chance to prepare for it.

We never had the chance [13:00] to say goodbye.

So grief usually comes with guilt attached.

And if the only book of the BIBLE that dealt with suffering was one in which the sufferer was able to say I am blameless & I am innocent, then we would be lacking something we desperately need in the BIBLE.

And we find in the book of Lamentations. [13:35]

You're listening to Unlocking the BIBLE with pastor Colin Smith & a message called Guilts & Grievances.

Today we really have been looking at guilt, we've been seeing how grief usually does come with guilt attached.

And in just a few moments, we're going to take a look at the distinction between true guilt & false guilt, & what to do about them both.

But today's message Guilt & Grievances is part of a larger series entitled: For All Who Grieve.

And this series raised the content of pastor Colin's newest book entitled "For All Who Grieve."

It's our thank you gift to you for supporting our ministry of Unlocking the BIBLE this month.

I'll let you know how you can get your own copy of this new book from pastor Colin in just a little bit, so stay with us. Let's get back to the message. [14:21]

Now there is a very important distinction of which all you surely will be aware.

1.] Where between false guilt & true guilt, let me try & distinguish them for you. False guilt comes when we take responsibility for something that was not our calling or was not under our control. That's what false guilt is.

It's when we take responsibility that we is not our calling & was not under our responsibility for something that was not our calling or was not under our control [14:51].

2.] True guilt in contrast, is when we shirk responsibility for something that is our calling, or something that is the command of GOD.

When we shirk responsibility, for something that is our calling, or that is the command of GOD. [15:10]

Now the answer in the first instance to false guilt is truth; the answer to true guilt is grace.

And therefore how wonderful it is that our LORD JESUS CHRIST is full of (say it with me) grace & truth.

In other words, in the LORD JESUS CHRIST there is everything that is needed, for dealing with guilt—whether it be false guilt or whether it be true. [15:44]

Here's the thing that I have observed over the years as a pastor & you may have observed & experienced it as well. 3.] Sometimes it isn't so easy to tell the difference between true guilt & false guilt. And so here's what often happens:

A grieving person feels a weight of guilt, it runs deep, it isn't easy for her/him to speak about it—but when s/he does the person who is close to them says:

Now look that's false guilt, & you need to be done with it. And that wasn't your responsibility, & so forth & so on.

Now here's what I've oberved: Sometimes that doesn't really help, & here's why...

Even if the guilt is without foundation, it is very very real to the bereaved person, so simply to say to a person on whom this weight continues to rest.

Well you know there's nothing for you to feel guilty about here.

Doesn't actually remove or bring help to the problem.

I've found that when a person struggles with what may indeed be false guilt, & continues to struggle with it over a period of time, so it's not relieved.

There are situations where people struggle with this for years & it just gets pressed down & pressed down because the only answer that's ever given is that's false guilt & you should be moving on from it by now.

Sometimes it may be more helpful to say something like this, & I do hope & pray that this will be useful to some in the congregation. [17:36]

Let's put the discussion of what's true guilt & what's false guilt to one side. The point is what you are experiencing is real.

Your conscience is burdened, you believe that there is something that you should have done & didn't do or did not do & should have done.

If this were indeed true guilt, what would you do with it? [18:07]

Well the answer is obvious, I would confess it & I would place it under the blood of the LORD JESUS CHRIST.

So that's what you would do with real guilt. [18:24] Let's do that with this, right now.

Now here's my basis for this, friends, CHRIST offered HIMSELF not only that your sins may be forgiven, but HE shed HIS blood (the book of Hebrews tells us), so that your conscience should be cleansed.

We find this in Hebrews 9:14 & 10:22. [18:52]

Hebrews 9:14 | how much more will the blood of CHRIST, who through the eternal SPIRIT offered HIMSELF unblemished to GOD, purify our consciences from works of death, so that we may serve the living GOD!

Hebrews 10:22 | let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience & our bodies washed with pure water.

Colin Smith is senior pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church, a thriving, multi-campus church located in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, and president of Unlocking the Bible.

unlockingthebible.org/broadcast/guilt-grievance-1/

#Guilt #Colin Smith #Grievance #Lamentations #John 9:1 #works of GOD #not personal sin #glory of GOD #revealed to him #revealed in him #revealed through him #comforting millions #generations #used of GOD #Job 42:7 #Lamentations 4:22 #expose your sins

0 notes

crossoverglobaloutreach · 4 years

Text

NOT ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER

A Wonderful Heart?!

A few years ago, we were visiting dear friends who invited a brother we did not know to meet and join us for dinner. After an enjoyable evening, as he stood to leave, this brother looked directly at me and paused to remark, “You have a wonderful heart.” Again, he repeated, “I want you to know, you have a wonderful heart.” It took me completely off guard. He continued to reiterate that statement several times with a concentrated gaze until I had to (was forced to) acknowledge it, though my initial reaction was to downplay and deflect it.

It was very uncomfortable for me. Not knowing this fellow well, I even thought for a moment, was this inappropriate? At first, I dismissed what he said with a nervous gesture and a gracious grunt or two. But I realized he wasn’t going to back down, change what he was saying, or stop repeating it, until I verbally conceded and received it. So, to make it stop, I finally did - with an embarrassed, inept sort of “thank you.” Mind you, this all took place in a matter of seconds, but seemed like forever. It left me wondering, what just happened?!

When I awoke the next morning, it suddenly struck me how directly_ the Lord_ was speaking to me in those statements – as awkward as it all was. I had been meditating for weeks on 1 Peter 3:4 concerning the “hidden person of the_ heart_” and that our attention and adornment should be focused there “with the incorruptible_ beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious_ in the sight of God.” I had been praying earnestly, daily, for the inner workings of my own heart, and yet nearly missed the Lord’s blatant encouragement to me! How did I do such a thing?!

Then I remembered a similar experience more than fifteen years ago while studying the Song of Solomon. It seemed to me the Lover kept repeating the phrase, “Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair!” an inordinate amount of times. I was actually annoyed by it, which was ridiculous on my part, but helped make God’s point all the more effective. Frustrated, I literally said to myself, “Why does He keep saying the same thing?!”

Immediately, I heard the Lord answer, “I’ll keep saying it until you believe it!”

Stunned, I realized I did not believe I was fair (pleasing or attractive), especially to Him. Neither did I feel deserving to be called His love. Yet, the Lord was saying otherwise! The word “Behold” means “See!” See, you are pleasing, my love – Will you see (realize, acknowledge, believe) this? I was definitely more comfortable with realizing my darkness and untended vineyard (S of S 1:5-6), even as I was more aware of my deceitful and desperately wicked heart. At the time, the Lord was specifically dealing with those deficient areas of my life; so why, in the midst, would He make such lovely proclamations to me?

As we know, God doesn’t see things the way we do. In Song of Solomon our Lover says, “You have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes” (4:9). One glance in the Lord’s direction, to make a move toward Him, causes He who loves us to be overwhelmed and run toward us. Consider the prodigal son, “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was_ still a great way off,_ his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him” (Lk 15:20). Let’s respect the Father’s view of a situation over our own; though apparently, we are more apt to carry a grudge like the older brother – even against ourselves! Yet certainly, the Father doesn’t turn a blind eye to sin and rebellion? So, what’s going on here?

A critical truth explains these scenarios and can safeguard our walk from significant stumbling. It has to do with the finished work of Christ versus His on-going work. Both elements are real, valid, and indispensable in our lives. But neither nullifies the other nor should one ever be confused, mistaken, or forgotten in light of the other. Here’s the scoop: As believers, we have placed our faith in Christ’s accomplished work on the cross for our redemption. By this we are saved. What peace and rest for our souls knowing, “It is finished!” No more striving to please God as “He has made us accepted in the Beloved” (Eph 1:4-8). However, most also understand that we are still a work in progress, “being saved” through His on-going work in our lives while He purifies our faith and forges character in our souls (1 Cor 1:18; 1 Pet 1:6-9). We press toward this in cooperation with Him as part of our upward call by walking out the good works prepared for us in advance. As we go through the distress of trials and tribulations, though, we discover new aspects of our unworthiness and unregenerate selves. Herein lies the crucial question: Are we defined by that revealed ugliness or do we continue to identify with Christ – the One who saves us and washes us clean? What do we remain focused on? Our flesh and sin or “beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are [we] being transformed into the same image from glory to glory” (2 Cor 3:18)? Do we really believe that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from_ all_ unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)? Or do we need to beat ourselves up for a while? Convinced now, the Lord no longer loves us – at least not as much.

T. Austin-Sparks deals with this subject in his book God’s Spiritual House. He defines it as our spiritual experience of the two sides of the cross: our assurance in His completed work and His handling of us to conform us to His image: “Never allow that which comes to light by God’s handling of us to cross over into that other place of our acceptance, our standing, our peace with God. So many people fail to keep that line clearly defined and they accept all kinds of accusations from the enemy because the Lord is dealing with them in this way…I am seeing more and more that in me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing! ...but that is the Lord’s matter. That is for the Lord to deal with. [emphasis mine - remember, we are His workmanship.] I am not going to allow that to encroach upon my absolute acceptance with God, my basic standing before God. I am not going to allow all the problems of sanctification to come over and destroy the great assurance of justification!”

This is why the Lord is adamant for us to behold our beauty even while dealing with our failings.

Shall We Press On?

Since the Lord’s work in our life is on-going, sometimes it seems we never get a break from being worked over. The Apostle Paul asks, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword?” I say, only _we _can –** only we can be persuaded **(Rom 8:35, 38-39)! If we lose sight of His completed work and everlasting love, it undermines our confidence and shakes our grounding in Him. Check yourself: Is the Lord truly magnified, prominent in my life or is it dissatisfaction with myself? “For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things” (1 John 3:20). Note, only He knows the depth of these things.

Isaiah 43 is a powerful chapter expressing the Lord’s love, care, and protection over His people. The first twenty-one verses describe the multitude of ways He saves and redeems us, however the Lord laments His people were not calling upon Him or bringing sacrifice and offering (vv 22-24a). Instead, He made this conclusion to the matter_: “**But you have burdened Me with your sins, you have wearied Me with your iniquities”_** (v 24b).

Yes, it’s my rebellion and sin that ruins everything. When I approach God, though, I discover I can become overwhelmed with my failings and preoccupied with my inadequacies. After I confess the downside of my life (which seems endless), I’m too discouraged and deflated to get anywhere on the upside! Why bother, the enemy taunts. To my surprise, one day while reading this verse, I heard the Lord say, “Don’t weary Me with your sins – it’s all you talk about to Me. It keeps you from just being with Me, loving Me, and doing the things that please Me.”

He continues in verses 25-26a,_ “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins. Put Me in remembrance.”_ In other words, let the Lord do His part as our Redeemer. Notice how He emphasizes that it’s His job. Quit bemoaning and rehashing the same old things He doesn’t even remember! We’re to focus, set our minds upon,_ remember Him_ – that’s our part. Magnify the Lord, not our sin. Give Him the sacrifice of praise, love offerings from our heart, and sweet incense of fellowship. That’s what He wants to hear. “Call to Me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which_ you do not know”_ (Jer 33:3). Note, once again, He is the One in-the-know who brings us in with Him on a need-to-know basis!

Now, I want to take this thought one step further. Since we have the principle of our salvation being fully accomplished, yet on-going, it also applies to all the benefits included in our salvation such as healing, deliverance, provision, protection, spiritual authority and power, etc. “For in that He put all in subjection under him (notice lower case h, meaning man, us!), He left nothing that is not put under him. But now we do not yet see all things put under him. But we see Jesus…” (Heb 2:8-9). I read in one of Randy Clark’s books: “Even though you may experience defeat, you are part of an undefeated, unshakeable Kingdom. Be grounded in this identity because it will sustain you through setbacks, trials, and disappointments.” Bingo. Do we identify with defeat or the undefeatable Kingdom? As with our salvation, the reality of His benefits is no less true in the midst of ups and downs, victories and defeats. And that certainty spurs on our pursuit to contend for the faith: _“Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints” _(Jude 1:3).

We must always keep in mind the finished, forgiving, and forgetting work of Christ done on our behalf. At the same time, we are still His workmanship in a daily construction zone. Once again, both aspects are real, valid, and indispensable. One does not cancel the other out. Nor should either be confused with, mistaken, or forgotten in light of the other. Read 1 Peter 1:3-9; hear this twofold truth:

_3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. _

_6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have beengrieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having notseen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9_receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

An Add-on (as if this wasn't long enough!)

Looking at 1 Peter 1:4 concerning our inheritance,_ incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,_ - consider this reserve as the gold in our National Treasury which backs up the everyday currency we use. We trust that reserve is real, though we’ve never laid eyes on it. It’s unfading, perfect, and flawless, yet we live in a flawed and imperfect world. So, there are variables we face when drawing from our reserves: What is the cost required? What is the exchange rate? What price am I willing to pay? These are consequential questions as we do business in His Kingdom. Do not lose sight of the certainties of Christ (vv 3-5) in the midst of the fluctuating variables of life (vv 6-9). Those variables change in a moment based on whim and emotion; sickness and health; the cultural and political climate, not to mention weather itself! These instabilities add to the grief of our_ various trials_ and are why we must be_ kept by the power of God through faith_ as a constant.

You may have heard the expression, “Change is the only constant in life,” but we know otherwise! Jesus is the Constant, that Rock when our heart is overwhelmed, a Refuge in the storm, Peace which surpasses understanding, etc…_ Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls. _

Be blessed - Elese

0 notes

sportsleague365 · 6 years

Link

Manchester United have had some world-class talent play for them in the 21st century. Paul Scholes, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Edwin van der Sar, Cristiano Ronaldo, Robin van Persie, David De Gea, some of the Premier League’s finest and most adored players since the dawn of the new millennium have worn the red shirt to great acclaim. Even the players considered to be underrated, like Dimitar Berbatov, Ashley Young and Daley Blind, are actually rated about fair for their ability. But that is not to say everyone gets the praise they deserve. Some players, in fact can spend years playing for the Red Devils and never get the credit due them. Obviously Paul Scholes used to be like this, but the general public has now admitted how wrong they were about him. And Ryan Giggs is in a permanent state of being underrated but also getting a fair shake when it comes to praise. The following 10 players, however, are still waiting to be given the right amount of praise for their quality and contributions to Manchester United Football Club. Who makes up this list? Who are the most underrated players United have had since 2000? Read on a find out! 10. Jonny EvansGames played:198 Titles won:Community Shield (4), 2008 FIFA Club World Cup, Premier League (3), League Cup (3) “Jonny the Killer” is often criticised because Sir Alex Ferguson famously felt comfortable selling Gerard Piqué as he had Evans on the books. But that’s an enormous disservice to Evans who was a wonderful defensive talent who excelled with the ball at his feet. His ability to defend ruggedly and switch the play elegantly brought defensive power to some disorganised United sides. Never given the full trust of any manager, he nearly always delivered when called upon and sadly his time at the club came to an end just when the ideal coach for him (Louis van Gaal) arrived. Sure, his post-United career hasn’t been great, but he was really great in red. 9. Antonio Valencia Games played:329 Titles won:Community Shield (3), League Cup (2), Premier League (2), 2015/16 FA Cup, 2016/17 UEFA Europa League The Ecuadorian was signed to “replace” Cristiano Ronaldo so was a disappointment from the start. But in truth, for the job he was asked to do, Valencia was superbly suited. Played a huge part in Rooney’s excellent performances as a no. 9 and helped Dimitar Berbatov and Javier Hernandez too. A rugged performer who has won two titles for United from two different positions, first as a winger and then as a full-back; a genuinely reliable full-back, too. His form has fallen off a cliff since the summer and he is now atrocious, but one cannot let that overshadow how relentless and reliable he was for a long time. 8. Wes Brown Games played:362 Titles won:Premier League (5), FA Cup (2), UEFA Champions League (2), Community Shield (3), League Cup (2) Everyone always talks about what could have been with Spurs defender Ledley King if only he had avoided injuries. But Wes Brown is just as big a case. A superbly gifted natural defender the equal of Rio Ferdinand (and far superior to Nemanja Vidic) he just could never stay fit enough to get any rhythm going. The exception being 2007/08, of course, when he played a full season and Manchester United won a European Double as perhaps the best team in the world. 7. John O’Shea Games played:393 Titles won:Premier League (5), Community Shield (4), 2003/04 FA Cup, League Cup (3), 2007/08 UEFA Champions League, 2008 FIFA Club World Cup Where to start? A multi-functional defensive presence who excelled at right-back, centre-back, left-back (where he nutmegged Louis Figo) and even defensive midfield. Is known as a cult figure for his incredible goals at Anfield and Highbury, but through all his time at United he was actually a really solid defender and a competent attacking presence. Was a key defensive presence as United came within one game of retaining their European Double in 2009. 6. Darren Fletcher Games played:342 Titles won:2003/04 FA Cup, Premier League (4), Community Shield (3), 2007/08 UEFA Champions League, 2008 FIFA Club World Cup, League Cup (2) For years Fletcher was regarded as “teacher’s pet” who was only in the side because he shared a nationality with Sir Alex. No one believed the boss when he said Fletcher could be as important to the team as Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo. But then, in 2007 he just sort of, was? In truth Fletcher had been dominating big games for years (he was an expert at subduing the magnificent Patrick Vieira) but in 2007 developed into a genuine top-tier talent whose rise and rise was only ended by a cruel illness. How far could he have gone otherwise? Who knows, but he did pretty damn well regardless and set a blueprint out for youth prospects who lacked a bit of razzle dazzle. 5. Park Ji-Sung Games played:205 Titles won:League Cup (3), Premier League (4), Community Shield (4), 2007/08 UEFA Champions League, 2008 FIFA Club World Cup A cult figure because Sir Alex Ferguson always called on him to add defensive energy in big games, but Park was so much more than just a legs man. He was a brilliant attacking midfielder with genuine quality. His appreciation of space and where to find it and how best to exploit it was supreme and his ability to punish lax defending is one of the reasons he would always torment Arsenal. An incredibly underrated player and a key part of the Title win and Champions League final run of 2010/11, neither of which would have been possible without him. 4. Wayne Rooney Games played:559 Titles won:League Cup (3), Premier League (5), Community Shield (4), 2007/08 UEFA Champions League, 2008 FIFA Club World Cup, 2015/16 FA Cup, 2016/17 UEFA Europa League Manchester United’s record goalscorer finally left the club at the end of the 2017 season having lifted the club’s first-ever Europa League, but that he does so under something of a cloud is a shame because for damn near a decade Wayne Rooney was a world-class presence at the heart of the Red Devils attack. A frenetic dynamo whose only enemy, whose only true rival, was his own in-built capacity for self-destruction. The last five years of his career have led people to forget just how brilliant, just how supreme, he used to be. Teams the world over feared Wayne Rooney because he wasn’t just skilled, he was relentless. He was physical and determined and afraid of absolutely nothing. When he took the field against Bayern Munich in 2010, playing on a twisted ankle terrifying Bayern to such a degree that United raced into a 3-0 lead, that should have been his Willis Reed moment. The exact time we canonised him. But then his injury flared up, his team-mates let him down, and United lost. His moment was gone. Brief resurgences in 2011 (who can forget the hat-trick vs. West Ham or the goals vs. City and Barcelona?) and again in 2012 where he led a ramshackle United side to cruelly lose the Title on goal difference were phenomenal, but while the decline sped up in 2012 it began in earnest that day in 2010. Obviously he can’t be the most underrated. There’s still an army of fans who consider him world-class, and many coaches believe he hasn’t spent the last half-decade wandering around the United pitch looking more like a contest winner than a professional footballer. But there’s an equally large contingent of people who wilfully ignore all the moments of magic simply because he declined so quickly. Forget the goalscoring record (well, don’t forget it) and just look at all the magical moments he’s delivered. The sheer number of them, from his show-stopping debut all the way through to that uproarious record-breaking strike against Stoke. 3. Nani Games played:230 Titles won:Community Shield (4), Premier League (4), 2007/08 UEFA Champions League, 2008 FIFA Club World Cup, League Cup (2) Regarded as a bit of a joke because of the way he left the club in ignominy and his lackluster career since (he can now be found in the MLS). But from 2010 to 2012 Nani was superhuman (including a masterclass against Bayern Munich in the 2010 Champions League, and even before that was an incredibly decisive figure with an absolutely wicked celebration. A wonderful crosser of the ball, an old-school two-sided winger who could create, dribble and score. There’s a reason Sir Alex Ferguson brought him on for Wayne Rooney in the 2008 Champions League final: Nani was a big game specialist. 2. Louis Saha Games played:124 Titles won:2005/06 League Cup, Premier League (2), 2007/08 UEFA Champions League The best strike partner Wayne Rooney has ever had. Louis Saha was signed in January and no one thought too much of it, but he instantly proved to be more than capable of stepping up to perform at the level United would want. As United transitioned away from the orthodox style of play with Ruud van Nistelrooy up-front to the fluid war machine they were in 2008 and 2009 (with Rooney, Cristiano and Carlos Tevez up-top), Saha was the key middle-man, melding the two styles splendidly. Had he not been so good, Sir Alex would have been unable to evolve his team. Saha was an absolutely essential play to the modern Manchester United. Such a shame that injuries ruined him, as there was surely more to give from this fabulous Frenchman. 1. Michael Carrick Games played:463 Titles won:Premier League (5), Community Shield (6), 2007/08 UEFA Champions League, 2008 FIFA Club World Cup, League Cup (3), 2015/16 FA Cup, 2016/17 UEFA Europa League Manchester hadn’t won the Premier League in three years. Then they signed Michael Carrick and won it three years in a row, also bagging the Champions League along the way. Obviously it’s more complicated than that, but since the very moment of his arrival Michael Carrick has been a key part of the Red Devils. That it took Robin van Persie openly exclaiming how good he was in 2012 for Carrick to finally get the widespread appreciation he deserves is baffling. Moreover, it still didn’t extend to his pre-2012 United career. Carrick has had some ropey moments, as all footballers have, but his brilliance and importance to Sir Alex Ferguson’s final great side cannot be understated. He was that midfield, the metronome that made it all work whether he played with Scholes, Fletcher, Anderson or Owen Hargreaves. Carrick hung up his boots in the summer, ending a 12-year playing career with United in which he won five Premier League titles. He moved on to instantly become a well-loved and well-respected coach at the club, taking a position of prominence first under José Mourinho and then under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. United fans should expect to see plenty more of Carrick on the touchlines, could he one day get the big job? Don’t rule it out! Source link The post The top 10 most underrated Manchester United players since 2000 appeared first on 10z Soccer. #ManchesterUnited #MichaelCarrick #WayneRooney

#ManchesterUnited #MichaelCarrick #WayneRooney

0 notes

curdinway-blog · 5 years

Text

Top 102 Movies of the 2010’s, According to a Crackpot

I’ve decided to try the impossible.

The seed for this idea came from Polygon. The site ran an article by which various staff members ranked their top ten movies for the decade. Naturally, that got me thinking about MY top ten films for the decade. Then I realized I hadn’t seen most Oscar winners, let alone enough movies to qualify to make a list. Then I realized I would have much, MUCH more than ten movies in my list.

Thus, I embarked on a madman’s dream. It involved crunching movie after movie after movie, then trying to hopelessly rank it on my list if I thought it was good enough. I missed my own deadline of New Year’s. Now, I am releasing this on my next deadline: The Oscars. Literally now, when they are already underway.

I hope you will read this list with some forgiveness in your hearts. Biting off more than you can chew doesn’t describe it. There are a whole host of movies I wanted to see before I made this list I haven’t gotten to and probably never will. There are many movies on this list I saw close to a decade ago and am trying to place in a ranking against pieces I just saw a few days ago. Oh, and I’m comparing across genres and types. What I’m trying to say is, this list is probably going to suck in a lot of ways.

With that being said, I really did try to rank the following to the very best of my ability. I racked my brains, racked them, and racked them again. Ultimately, I made my decisions from a whole host of criteria, ranging from everything from pacing, to various aspects of entertainment value, to complexity/themes, to cinematography. I tried to be objective as much as possible, but I also think that how much you like a movie should be considered a piece of criteria as well. After all, that’s primarily why we go to the movies; we want to have a good time. As such, expect to see a lot of science-fiction and animation of this list. In my defense, it was a great decade for each.

And now…without further ado…let me introduce…The Top 102 Films of the 2010’s, According to a Crackpot!

102. Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow

Starship Troopers meets Groundhog Day, Live Die Repeat is a well-executed mecha-battle movie with a wrinkle of time-travel tossed in for good measure.

101. Wreck-It Ralph: Ralph Breaks the Internet

It may not be as good as the original, but Wreck-It Ralph 2 makes the grade with some cunning swipes at internet culture, the world’s best worst Disney Princess song, and bittersweet revelations about what it means to be a true friend.

100. Mirai

Few films truly approach their story from a child’s perspective; but in tone, structuring, and imagination, Mirai lets us see again through young eyes. Director Mamoru Hosoda uses time travel as a vehicle for exploration of deeply personal familial relationships, and how they shape us into the people we become.

99. The Last Gold

The Last Gold is an unheralded little gem about a quartet of female US Olympic swimmers who found themselves competing in an impossibly frustrating and unfair situation; the 1976 Olympics. As East German swimmers swept podium after podium (with the aid of a systematic doping program), the US Women’s team faced intense public criticism, especially phenom Shirley Babashoff, who could have been the female Mark Spitz if not for the rampant cheating going on. Largely forgotten and regarded as a disappointment by the American public, The Last Gold illustrates the team as one worth remembering and dignifying; in particular, for their final, desperate effort at gold in the 4 x 100 m freestyle relay.

98. Mad Max: Fury Road

Pretty much nonstop surreal nutty action, Mad Max surely has some of the most creative and tricky stunts done in the past decade.

97. The Amazing Spiderman

Utterly forgotten in the wake of its more successful follow-ups (and predecessors, for that matter), The Amazing Spiderman is nonetheless a solid reboot of some well-worn material. The concept behind Spidey’s origin is well-thought out and original, and ties directly to an interesting villain who is more the victim of his own genius than the archetype evil megalomaniac.

96. Doctor Strange

Doctor Strange marks itself as unique among the various Marvel offerings by pondering nothing less than the meaning of life… and overloading us with psychedelic, Inception-esque imagery.

95. Concussion

Featuring a terrific and vocally unrecognizable Will Smith, Concussion asks not only some difficult questions about the country’s (and my own) favorite sport, but also some difficult questions about what it means to be an American.

94. The Big Sick

I’m not a big rom-com guy, but The Big Sick won me over by creating romantic tensions from realistic scenarios; in particular, the difficulties that arise from differences in race and religion. The film’s awkward sense of humor is well-incorporated, making this a funny movie as well as an intelligent one.

93. Bridesmaids

A funny movie about friendships and change (anchored by an excellently tragicomic Kristen Wiig), Bridesmaids showed the Judd Apatow formula could work on equal terms for the female sex.

92. 50/50

50/50 tackled the cancer movie with an unusual slant of good humor, and chased it down with heartfelt drama and good performances.

91. Hanna

In which a supergirl Saoirse Ronan (pre-fame and accolades) is honed into an assassin by her father so that she can kill a wicked, hammy CIA operative Cate Blanchett before the agency gets to her first. If you ever wanted to see a small girl beating thugs to death with her bare fists in the style of Jason Bourne, this one’s for you. Loads of fun, totally bananas, and dripping with cool.

90. Hunger Games

More or less a faithful adaptation of a literary bestseller, Hunger Games nonetheless deserves credit for doing the job right. The cinematics and ideas here are very nice for a teen blockbuster, and Jennifer Lawrence rightfully turned into a star for BEING Katniss Everdeen.

89. What We Do in the Shadows

Quirky, subversive, hilarious, and utterly “New Zealand”, What We Do in the Shadows made vampires and werewolves funny again…in a good way.

88. Icarus

An accidental documentary seemingly spurred on by fate, Icarus is about the creep of misinformation and deception into every aspect of our lives, even sports, by the unscrupulous and powerful.

87. Prometheus

A film I absolutely adored the first time around, but toned down my enthusiasm for with a more critical eye to detail. Nevertheless, Prometheus should be appreciated for its immense scale of ambition and huge open-ended philosophical questions; it should also be appreciated for throwing a veritable kitchen sink of full of campy horrors at its viewers, including a crazy autosurgery scene.

86. 10 Cloverfield Lane

10 Cloverfield Lane flies high on its simplicity. Three main actors, one small doomsday shelter, and loads of palm-sweating, stomach-clenching, double-guessing suspense. John Goodman, you so craaaaazy.

85. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Give J.K. Rowling credit for not making this a cynical cash grab; the writing in Fantastic Beasts is actually delightful. There is a strong balance here between the sweet magical whimsy going on and some dark, brooding commentaries on American society. A strong cast of endearing characters rounds out a very robust entry in the Harry Potter series.

84. How to Train Your Dragon II

A very good sequel to a classic, HTTYD II still provides the acrobatic, dragon-flying goods, even as it steers us into a troubling, thought-provoking battle between might and right, fixed circumstances and free will.

83. The Big Short

While Inside Job will always remain the definitive work on the maddening 2008 financial collapse, The Big Short is a strong effort featuring intimate inside perspectives of the actual people who did the dynamiting. A slick sense of humor and a celebrity all-star team intent on ripping Wall Street a new one makes this film a winner.

82. Captain America: Civil War

Cap: Civil War is noteworthy in that it makes civilian collateral damage the primary fulcrum and conflict of a superhero movie. It is also a bit of a “mini-Avengers” that successfully incorporates some slam dunk additions to the team; then pits them against each other.

81. Get Out

One of the decade’s cleverest and most ambitious horror flicks, Get Out shows how the sum of a million little microaggressions equates to something very ugly indeed.

80. The Hateful Eight

A slow-burner as far as Tarantino films go, The Hateful Eight is an interesting social play interspersed with exaggerated violence and profanity; a commentary on how our nation was forged in the fires of overcoming racial and societal differences.

79. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Catching Fire does what all good sequels aim to do; take the appealing constructs of the original film and pump them up on steroids. Everything the Hunger Games did, Catching Fire does bigger, badder, and better.

78. Big Hero 6

A weeaboo’s dream, a great superhero flick, and a gentle meditation upon loss and healthy grieving, Big Hero 6 is a very entertaining film with a big heart and a wonderfully plush-looking buddy robot.

77. Mary and the Witch’s Flower

Mary and the Witch’s Flower is a Studio Ghibli flick, helmed by Studio Ghibli animators…under a non- Ghibli studio. Here are all the familiar beats we love as viewers; the weird, wonderful setting (a school of sorcery for talented children), abuses on the natural world wrought by technology and ambition, and a delightfully ordinary red-headed girl who must think on her feet and grow if she is to survive. Harry Potter crossed with Miyazaki…who could ever resist that?

76. Avengers: Infinity War

The key to Infinity War’s successes is Thanos. The Mad Titan had been waiting in the shadows for most of MCU’s run during the past decade; in Infinity War, we finally see him in the formidable flesh. At once terrifying and tragic, Thanos is the most iconic villain of the 2010’s; a villain finally worth pitting an entire squad of heroes against, and perhaps, more than a match for all of them. The film’s shocking ending and willingness to go to darker places makes this movie MCU’s The Empire Strikes Back.

75. Alien: Covenant

Man, did Covenant get a bad rap. Audience members branded its characters stupid, its monsters unscary, and its premise a letdown from Prometheus. They were wrong on every count. The characters of Covenant act as normal explorers should; not as we, in all of our omniscient wisdom, should advise them to. The monsters are absolutely bloodcurdling; truly nasty, unrelenting creatures which are content to flay their victims alive if they cannot kill them outright. And the story did not answer many of Prometheus’s big questions because it was simply better and more interesting than that. I posit the reason Covenant was such a flop is not any failure on its part, but rather a failure of audiences’ openmindedness and tolerance for the macabre. Alien: Covenant is the best Alien movie since at least Aliens; a pitch-black, bordering on nihilistic tale of bad things happening to good people. It is also a successful conglomeration of the various qualities of Alien, Aliens, and Prometheus, and a fascinating cross-examination of an android who is too human for his own (or anybody’s) good.

74. The Shape of Water

Amélie meets The Swamp Thing, The Shape of Water is an odd, intriguing romantic Cold War thriller that celebrates those members of society who are ostracized, marginalized, or cast aside.

73. ParaNorman

Funny, scary, and important, Paranorman is a spooky, kid-friendly take on tolerance and the price of ignorance.

72. Gasland

By all practical accounts, Gasland is horrifying. This is a film that shows the surreal consequences of free-for-all fracking; water that can be set on fire, air pollution that exceeds 100x the safe limit for some toxins around fracking wells, and literal poisoning of wildlife and residents via breathing, drinking, and skin absorption. While all of this content would make for a great documentary, it is banjo-pickin’, easy-going filmmaker Josh Fox who makes this film even better. His heartfelt personal accounts and willingness to stand aside and let the victims speak for themselves gives this documentary a warmth and decency usually missing from such explosive exposés.

71. Wreck-It Ralph

A hilarious mash-up of video games and memorable arcade characters, Wreck-It Ralph manages to stay clever, hip, and inventive the whole way, even as it plays expertly off audience nostalgia.

70. Green Book

Thanks in large part to its pair of terrific leads, Green Book manages to be an uproariously entertaining road trip buddy movie; even as it brings to light the racial problems which existed (and continue to exist) in America.

69. Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Possibly the most Millennial film ever made, Scott Pilgrim is a busy, delicious barrage of video games, garage bands, pop culture references, and comics. Intricately detailed and gut-bustingly funny, Scott Pilgrim’s supply of visual gags and uber-referential one-liners is practically (turns 8 sideways on fridge) infinite.

68. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Winter Soldier is high-tier MCU. The electric superhero proceedings benefit from a deliciously twisty plot, and a surprising injection of sharp political commentary.

67. Dunkirk

One of the most viscerally intense PG-13 movies ever, Christopher Nolan’s war epic is a nightmarish tour-de-force that places viewers directly in enemy crosshairs. In typical Nolanian fashion, however, this is also high-brow, intellectually stimulating fare. There is not only the logistical puzzle at play of how to successfully evacuate 300,000 plus English soldiers from the French coast; Dunkirk understands warfare as a product of two extreme and opposite polarities of human nature. War cannot be waged without nasty, selfish streaks of human survival, as there will simply be no one left to fight it; neither can it be won without remarkable acts of courage and willing sacrifice.

66. Blackfish

Deeply troubling and disturbing, Blackfish shows what happens when you take the most intelligent and sensitive animals in the world besides us and confine them in a bathtub for their entire lives. A stirring call for respect for nature, and a long-running tally of SeaWorld’s sins, Blackfish is a must-see documentary.

65. Contagion

Contagion is one of the decade’s scariest films. After all, murdering mask-wearing lunatics and supernatural bumps in the night can be discounted as a trick behind the camera; but the boogeyman in Contagion almost assuredly exists, a nuke buried somewhere in the bosom of Mother Nature. If we blunder into it, God help us all. The film’s chilly, distant demeanor and scientific accuracy (Contagion gets bonus points for being the most scientifically accurate movie of all time) makes its depiction of a modern plague frighteningly plausible; its fixations on points of transfer are enough to convince anyone to wash their hands twice.

64. How to Train Your Dragon

One of the best movies to ever exit out the Dreamworks pipeline, HTTYD is an excellent parable about hate and jingoism, wrapped up in an exhilarating thrill ride that made us all want a Toothless of our own.

63. Restrepo

Restrepo is such a hard film to gauge. It doesn’t take aim at politics, or delve too deeply into the lives of its subjects; American soldiers in the Korangal Valley, Afghanistan. Restrepo is content to simply put us in their boots. Never has combat been so realistically brought to the American doorstep. In Restrepo, one can see the terror of death, the adrenaline hit of downing an enemy, the tomfoolery of kids messing around with one another in between bouts of fighting for their lives. This is the pure essence of modern war; in its DNA, one can see what so many directors of fiction have been trying to recapture in their work. Restrepo is a remarkable and dangerous accomplishment; an accomplishment that would eventually cost co-director Tim Hetherington his life while shooting a subsequent film in Libya.

62. Abominable

Dreamworks has been a rather lackluster studio in comparison to the rest of the industry. With that being said, it is more than capable of making great movies; and Abominable is right up there with the best the studio has ever made. This gorgeously made Asian-flavored film explores China as a meeting grounds of various philosophies; wealth and privilege versus working class, urban versus agrarian, East versus West, and how exploitation and cultural diffusion have reshaped life there. It is also simply a wonderful tale of an introverted girl who must travel to the Himalayas to deliver a magical yeti back to nature; and how that journey unlocks her ability to grieve and connect with others.

61. Winter’s Bone

Winter’s Bone is the movie that announced to the world that this Jennifer Lawrence person could act, I tell you h’what. This menacing coming-of-age journey through the Ozark drugscape shows the importance of family in such poor, isolated communities as something more than a cliché of hillbilly pride; it is actually a means to survival and redemption.

60. The Boy and the Beast

The Boy and the Beast can certainly be appreciated simply as a fantastical, colorful training/battle movie about an orphaned human boy and his cantankerous bear master. But it is as it dives deep into the complexity of the male mind that the film fascinates thematically and generates stirring emotional resonance. In particular, the film has something to say about the anger that can spur young men to violence, and the stabilizing force a mature male presence can have (but does not always have) on that anger. The benefits of fatherhood extend to father-figures as well, who become more emotionally aware and sensitive, and gain deeper meaning and fulfillment in their lives. Hosoda is truly one of the best directors working in animation today, and The Boy in the Beast is typically intelligent, thematically dense work from him.

59. The King’s Speech

A feel-good film done with classical style, The King’s Speech is an elegant, touching tale of friendship that will surely play well among lovers of The Royal Family.

58. The Artist

Thanks to rich visual storytelling and fantastic performances, this pre-talkie throwback hardly needs words to delight.

57. The Tale of Princess Kaguya

Isao Takahata’s final film The Tale of Princess Kaguya feels like a beautiful pastel picture book brought to life. At once a fable of ruinous greed, classism, and sexism, it is also a haunting soliloquy of love, nature, freedom, beauty, and death…all that makes life precious.

56. Kubo and the Two Strings

Kubo and the Two Strings makes me mad. Not because it is a bad film; far from it. I am angry because Kubo had everything going for it. It had big-name actors, it had effects which pushed stop-motion to its limits, it had a big marketing push in theaters to push viewership, it had great critical reviews. It was supposed to be Studio Laika’s crown jewel; the film that would win big at the box office and thrust the studio of perennial indie hits like Coraline and Paranorman into well-deserved limelight. And it was good. Like, really good!

Unfortunately, Kubo and the Two Strings flopped at the box office, for reasons I cannot imagine nor articulate in polite company. But it will get its due here; Kubo is a stop-motion masterpiece with rich, resonant themes and ground-breaking visual effects. It also has a rendition of “My Guitar Gently Weeps” on a Japanese samisen. So go see the damn thing.

55. The Wind Rises

We might be getting another Miyazaki film after all, but The Wind Rises was a fantastic send-off piece for anime’s most legendary director. This is a truly complex, mature film about the relation of beauty and art to woe and suffering, and a critical examination of the tunnel vision that often grips great artists.

54. Knives Out

A classic whodunit tweaked for the modern era, Knives Out balances its twisty mystery proceedings with some well-timed black humor and more than a few pokes at the wealthy elite.

53. Inside Job

A carefully researched and scathingly delivered incrimination of the greed that ruined a nation, Inside Job is one of the best documentaries of the era.

52. Hugo

A wondrous, Dickensian-tale of an orphan who lives in a Paris train station and discovers the secret of a mysterious automaton, Hugo is an intelligent, sensitive family picture and a touching love letter to early cinema.

51. Moonlight

Being different is hard, as I can say from firsthand experience. While I can hardly imagine what it is to be African-American or gay, let alone both at once, Moonlight offers some glimpse into that difficult reality. The film’s touching love story is a journey of self-acceptance and courage that is well worth seeing.

50. Tangled

Tangled was Disney’s announcement to the rest of the field that it was back, baby. After a period of shaky and poorly thought-out 3-D projects in the early 2000’s, Disney took a long, hard look at itself and identified what it did best, then brought out the best of those qualities in its witty, triumphant take on Rapunzel. Here are the songs, guffaws, villains, and magic we all love as fans, delivered perfectly into the next dimension.

49. Source Code

Groundhog Day via sci-fi thriller, Source Code is a clever, action-packed take on time travel, but also an emotionally investing take on what it means to live each day-and life-to the fullest.

48. Toy Story 4

Rarely has a sequel piece ever seemed as risky as Toy Story 4. The studio had its closing piece in Toy Story 3; a film I thought was respectable but not particularly interesting. But rather than let sleeping dogs lie, Pixar opted to throw that ending in the garbage…and pulled something far more bizarre and wonderful from the trash. Toy Story 4 is a wacky, existential riff that acknowledges the importance of family and responsibility in our lives, while simultaneously declaring that it is okay to value ourselves outside those traditional parameters.

47. Arrival

Arrival is hard science-fiction done exceedingly right. Depicting an extraterrestrial visitation across the globe, Arrival seems truly tangible in a way most alien films do not, down to the very form of its decidedly non-humanoid creatures. In vein of Contact or Interstellar, Arrival picks the brain and heartstrings with equal acumen, making it a lasting and valuable commodity to anyone’s sci-fi library.

46. Spiderman: Homecoming

Spiderman: Homecoming is the geekiest of Spiderpieces. This is the Spiderman where Spiderman is Go-Pro-ing himself before a big battle, or joining a quiz bowl team, or building a Lego Death Star with his nerdy confidante, complete with miniature Lego Palpatine. Light, refreshing, and utterly hilarious, Homecoming gets a lot of mileage out of Tom Holland’s awesome portrayal, and tells a simple, uncomplicated story that doesn’t impede the shenanigans.

45. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

Audiences were expecting a fireworks show for Deathly Hallows: Part II, and boy did they get one. A terrifically exciting heist sequence and a grand final battle made this the most epic and exciting entry in the Harry Potter canon. The culmination of carefully laid character arcs and sentimental links back to the series’ early days had fans smiling through their tears and punching their tickets to Platform 9 ¾ again and again. A splendidly satisfying sendoff.

44. Skyfall

Apparently, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Skyfall brought Bond into the new decade in style, modernizing and sharpening all its facets while remaining, yes, Bond. James Bond.

43. Argo

Argo is a rock-solid retelling of a tense CIA extraction op, hitched to the allure and wonder of good old-fashioned movie making.

42. Free Solo

Free Solo is a marvelous documentary, and I mean that quite literally. Marvel at the jaw-dropping heights depicted, marvel at the logistical challenges of filming a free climber without killing or distracting them (which would mean the same thing). But most of all, marvel at the huge cojones of subject Alex Honnold, as he attempts to climb the world’s largest rock wall; without the life-saving grace of a rope. As a thrill act, Free Solo is visceral and terrifying. But as a character study, it is equally fascinating. The same things which make Honnold such a one in a billion talent are the same things which cripple him emotionally and socially. Watching Honnold slowly start to conquer these own personal obstacles-even as he prepares for the physical obstacle of his life-is a truly satisfying experience.

41. The Lego Movie

Endlessly imaginative and hilariously subversive, The Lego Movie is not only a worthy standard-bearer of its iconic toy brand, but also a glorious celebration of creativity and free expression.

40. Snowpiercer

I’m gonna describe Snowpiercer using single word describers. Okay? Hilarious. Bloody. Ambitious. Tragic. Exhilarating. Revolutionary. F***ing insane. Okay, that last one was two words. How about amazing? Yeah. Amazing works. This dystopian satirical piece is a mad thrill ride on a runaway train through an environmentally wrecked world, and it is one of the craziest things I’ve ever loved in my life.

39. Moneyball

This movie is a sports genre gamechanger about a sports genre gamechanger; that is, the “Moneyball” strategy that forever changed the world of baseball evaluation. Watched purely on the terms of its baseball X’s and O’s, Moneyball succeeds. However, it is the tale of lovable loser Billy Beane, and the film’s assertion that winning comes second to loving yourself, that really turns this hit into a home run.

38. The Social Network

As eccentric and brilliant as its central genius, The Social Network depicts the synthesis of Facebook as an unflattering mirror for the site itself; that it is often driven by negative emotions of inadequacy, jealousy, and loneliness, and serves as a proxy for the real social interactions we require for fulfillment and happiness. Slickly edited, funny, and smart, this is one of the most iconic and generational films of the decade.

37. Gravity

The opening few minutes of Gravity is one of the most intense movie scenes not only of this decade, but of all time. From there, the tension just barely relents. Suspenseful and tightly-spun as a space survival story, Gravity is also a technical marvel which redefined zero-G cinema forever; and made us eternally thankful we are safely on the ground.

36. Beasts of the Southern Wild

Beasts of the Southern Wild is a ground-level view of poverty and climate change in the Mississippi River Delta region, seen through the eyes of a child. Quvenzhané Wallis brings her role to life with an incredible child performance, and lends this work a sense of deep intimacy and emotional resonance, even as it grasps at themes which are national to global in scale.

35. Incredibles 2

Incredibles 2 is one of Pixar’s best ever sequels. Here are the same witty, relatable family dynamics we fell in love with in Incredibles 1; but the superhero shenanigans have been one-upped and then some. In fact, Incredibles 2 has the best action sequences I have ever seen in a 3-D animated film. Add in a smart ideological battle between the current age’s (perhaps correct) cold cynicism and yesterday’s quixotic beliefs, and you have one of the best superhero movies ever, as well as a film that arguably beats out its OG.

34. Guardians of the Galaxy

I admit that from the film’s opening credits, where Chris Pratt canters across an alien planet to “Come and Get Your Love” and utilizes a scurrying lizard creature as his own personal microphone, that I was sold on Guardians of the Galaxy. This is one of those rare works like Shrek or Princess Bride that simultaneously skewers and elevates its genre; in this case, the old-timey B-movie science-fiction flick. A riotously funny movie that just doesn’t give a (expletive), Guardians of the Galaxy is also surprisingly poignant when it chooses to draw its eclectic bunch of outlaws into an impromptu family. This is absolutely one of the best films in the MCU.

33. Coco

A gorgeous, vibrant love letter to Mexico full of zesty music, Coco has some big things to say about art and its link to memory, and how exploitation can tarnish its beauty. Pixar has once again illustrated a remarkable ability to craft a world utterly original and believable in its own rich details and machinations; a world which sets a grand stage for its intimate story. It has also once again illustrated an ability to make us all cry our eyes out. Curse you, Pixar!

32. Her

The film that made a romance between an artificial intelligence and Joaquin Phoenix work somehow, Her is a thoughtful and sensitive film that expands our definition of love to encompass all levels of intimacy and circumstance. It is also, to my knowledge, the most gentle and hopeful AI movie ever made, and it deserves commendation for that.

31. Spotlight

Spotlight is a black hole. This film about the Boston Globe’s reporting on the Catholic Church’s coverup of child molestations by priests starts off slowly, then sucks you in more and more, gathering its mass until you are crushed under all the weight of deception, apathy, pain, and despair. I suppose this is also a strong allegory for the value of reporting or something like that, but frankly, I was too upset for most of the film’s duration to notice. As a lifelong Catholic, Spotlight made me feel utterly betrayed and angry; not only at the Church, but also at myself for sleeping at the wheel. This simply cannot happen again.

30. Citizenfour

Citizenfour qualifies as arguably the most important film of the decade. Laura Poitras’s documentary on government informant Edward Snowden is an intellectual horror flick; full of deserved paranoia, stunning overreaches of executive power, and spooky mirrors to the Orwellian nightmare of 1984. Citizenfour reveals how the alluring promise of the internet has betrayed us, and provided a means to the exponential surveillance of everyone in our supposedly free Western society.

29. Marvel’s The Avengers

Avengers seemed like a fantasy project when it was announced. How could anybody hope to make a movie about not one superhero, not two superheroes, but a whole team of them, without sacrificing narrative coherence, without losing sight of the big personalities at play? Joss Whedon proved such an all-star game could be possible, and somehow, work synergistically. This is one of the biggest popcorn movies ever, and it changed the expectations for superhero flicks towards bigger, grander, better. The success of Avengers also established MCU as the defining franchise of the 2010’s; and perhaps, beyond.

28. Inception

Inception’s script took Christopher Nolan 10 years to tweak, and watching the film you can believe it. This is a 3-D maze of a caper/heist movie, in which dreams form the substance of worlds stacked atop one another. It is a devilishly tricky exercise, but one that is done with the greatest precision and execution. Featuring impressive and trippy set-pieces, one of the generation’s best femme fatales, massively cerebral ideas, eerie atmosphere, and an insidious sense of ambiguity, Inception kept me awake for quite some time after I watched it at two in the morning.

27. Room

Focusing on a kidnapped mother and her young son Jack, who has only known captivity, Room could have been a very dark movie. Instead, it chooses to tack a different route; how do we survive trauma, both its initial effects and its aftermath, and triumph over it?

The film is sold by Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay. Larson deservingly won an Oscar for her role; Tremblay’s performance is the best child performance I have ever seen. Together, they create a mother-son relationship that is utterly real and compelling. The film is also noteworthy for its camerawork, which is used very effectively to suggest changes in Jack’s worldview as he grows older.

26. Django Unchained

Brash, bold, and unapologetic, Django Unchained is a gloriously socially-conscious revenge fantasy. Featuring buckets of blood and Wild West shoot ‘em up gunfights against Klansmen and slave-holders, the film charts the course of a former slave on his way to rescue his sweetheart from the clutches of a diabolical slave owner.

25. Lincoln

Thanks to yet another star turn from acting legend Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln is a witty and warm biopic of one of our greatest presidents. It is also a glimmer of encouragement during the political gridlock and dysfunction of the early 2010’s. Rather than proving democracy does not work, Lincoln seems to argue, such issues are actually a sign of a functioning and healthy democracy. Our ability to disagree strongly with one another and come to imperfect compromises in order to solve our problems is our country’s greatest legacy. It was also the means to the passing of our noblest and most overdue piece of legislation: The 13th Amendment.

24. Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Won’t You Be My Neighbor is, for me, the best documentary of the decade. Focusing on the extraordinary Mr. Fred Rogers, the film does a great job of humanizing Mr. Rogers; revealing his insecurities, relentless drive, and sly sense of humor (often through dream-like Daniel Tiger animated sequences) while demonstrating that yes, he really was that good of a person. As it progresses, the film grows increasingly melancholic and encompassing. The qualities Mr. Rogers stood for-namely, understanding, love, honesty, and respect-seem sorely lacking in today’s society. Even more distressingly, it would seem the saintly Rogers was beginning to have his own doubts about his life’s work as the cruelty and hate of the 21st century emerged in full on 9/11. Won’t You Be My Neighbor expresses human goodness as something fragile which must be fostered and prioritized by all of us if Mr. Rogers’ message is to mean something in our modern world.

23. Moana

Moana’s audiovisuals are off the charts amazing. The lush tropical landscapes and utterly lifelike oceans make this the most graphically impressive 3-D animated work I’ve ever seen. The soundtrack, partially composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda, stands as one of Disney’s best all time. But it is Moana herself, the titular princess, who stands as the film’s greatest game-changer. Realistically proportional, of Pacific Islander descent, and strong enough to carry a story without a love interest, Moana is a refreshingly modern character utterly in command of her own destiny. Add in a rich story steeped in Polynesian culture and veined with environmental undertones, and you get the new high bar for the Disney Princess Movie.

22. The Breadwinner

The Breadwinner is a testament that must be heard. Adapted by Cartoon Saloon from Deborah Ellis’s excellent book of the same name, the movie is a street-level account of Parvana, a young girl who goes undercover as a boy to feed her family in Taliban-era Afghanistan. The conditions portrayed are nearly unimaginable; imagine being a prisoner in your own home, only let out for reprieve under the supervision of a male guardian. Such was the reality of thousands of women and girls in Kabul as late as 2001. Cartoon Saloon drenches this film in a constant, lingering fear; at the same time, normalcy is depicted and triumphed. Siblings still squabble. Clothes are still washed, meals are still cooked and eaten, water is still fetched. Stories are still told. The Breadwinner is not just Parvana’s tale; it is the voice of the thousands who live in war-torn or oppressive societies worldwide, and yet still make their own brand of normalcy, still form expression and find joy. Their daily survival is an inspiration to us all; their story is to glimpse the resiliency and spark of the human spirit.

21. A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place is one of the most auspicious debuts I can remember. First time director John Krasinki makes his creature feature a masterwork of tension and clever sound editing, and crafts an indelible world where so much as a pin dropping puts everyone on pins and needles.

20. Inside Out

Pixar’s peek inside a child’s mind is a work of the utmost intelligence and sensitivity. Intuitive enough for even the youngest viewers to understand, yet nuanced enough to describe the transition of a human consciousness from child to adult with painful clarity, Inside Out is one of the studio’s very best features, and a strong defense of mental health and self-expression.

19. Your Name

For so long, director Makoto Shinkai was an exercise in frustration. 5 Centimeters Per Second was gorgeous. Garden of Words was the most visually stunning 2-D animation I had ever seen. And yet the writing was pedantic. The plot was tepid, the characters flat. I would watch these films, eye candy at its most pure and non-nutritional, and seethe that they were not better, that all that glorious potential was yet unrealized. And yet, I never stopped believing in the potential of Makoto Shinkai. One day, I reasoned, this guy was going to piece a story together with some semblance of care as he did his illustrations, and on that day something special would be born.

I saw Your Name just a short time ago. Of course it’s jaw-droppingly beautiful, that goes without saying. But here’s what else it is, folks: it’s funny. It’s heartwrenching. It’s suspenseful. It’s got plot twists. It’s got a story. And not just a good story, but a GREAT one.

I imagine watching this movie must be like watching your kid graduate high school. You forget all the mouthing off and dirty socks left all over the place and that fender bender with your new car, and just soak in the glow of that special moment you always believed would come. You couldn’t be happier. You couldn’t be prouder. And you know this is the beginning of something truly wonderful.

Congratulations, Mr. Shinkai. You did it, man.

18. Interstellar

The knock on Christopher Nolan was always that he had the heart of a robot and didn’t have strong female characters. Debate whether that is true of his other films, if you must; but not this one, because Interstellar is possibly the biggest tear-jerker in sci-fi history, and Jessica Chastain’s Murph is a bitter, brilliant centerpiece to it all. Interstellar stands tall as one of the best science-fiction films of the decade. It has strong, ambitious science wrapped in glorious visual effects, and is very quietly a solid piece of Americana, lovingly arrayed amidst America’s cornfields and dusty roads in a tribute to The Great Depression. Most of all, however, Interstellar is a wondrous joining of heart and intellect, a working theoretical thought experiment that demonstrates love is a force greater than gravity, space, time, or any other cosmic entity the universe may foist upon us.

17. The Force Awakens

While it is not number one on my list, perhaps no film brought me greater joy this decade than watching The Force Awakens during its Thursday night premiere. It was nothing less than the very Star Wars movie I had hoped and dreamed for as a kid. As a massively entertaining blockbuster surpassing huge expectations, Star Wars: The Force Awakens is terrific. As a perfect passing of torch from beloved old to promising new, it is an utter triumph.

16. Rogue One

Okay, is my bias showing yet?

Perhaps this is a bit steep for some people, but heck, when you are dealing with the second-best movie in one of Hollywood’s most beloved franchises, you have to give props where props are due. Rogue One is such a gamechanger for Star Wars. Its gritty, pulpy sense of realism seems peeled straight from a Star Wars comic book; its characters immediately strike as memorable, particularly K-2SO, who is like C-3PO if C-3PO got sent to prison and came back jacked. Rogue One also is important for its many departures from tradition. Many of the innovations credited to Episode VIII were done first-and done better-in this film. Rogue One is not afraid to show the rebellion in terms of moral gray; a shocking act shortly after the film’s opening establishes this and destroys the previous model of basic black and white good vs. evil. If Luke, Leia, and Han got to play the part of hero in A New Hope, then it was because there were elements in the Rebellion doing the dirty and morally-questionable grunt work shown here; Rogue One shows how the war was won.

Rogue One also introduces a few other themes riffed heavily by Episode VIII, including the idea that the Rebellion/Resistance is not a neat, idealistic counter to oppression but an uneasy conglomerate ravaged by internal conflict, and that force-sensitive people are not necessarily the product of hereditary chains of Jedi and Sith, but often sporadic and independent products of the Force. It is, on top of what it initiated, simply a well-paced and superbly-crafted piece of space opera. Rogue One has the best romance (besides Han and Leia) in Star Wars history, has hands-down THE BEST Vader scene ever filmed and another that is a classic in its own right, and has one heck of a villain in Director Krennic. Krennic is one of those mid-level bureaucrats that must have always existed for the Empire but which never received such deserved attention before; his position of weakness, coupled with burning ambition, makes him a hilariously pathetic figure, one you might begin to feel bad for were he not such a nasty piece of work. Even the soundtrack is great. Rogue One is a war film, and Michael Giacchino of Medal of Honor fame makes this sound like a war film, even though it also sounds very much like Star Wars. Ultimately, that’s what Rogue One is. It is a Star Wars film that manages to be a war film and everything else it wants to be terrifically well. To hell with it. I’m putting it this high. If you have a problem with Rogue One being the #16 movie on my list, you can go kiss a wampa’s backside.

15. Roma

Like its protagonist-a nanny to a wealthy family in 1970’s era Mexico-Roma is a film of marvelous patience and understated strength. Alfonso Cuarón’s otherworldly composition and autobiographical authenticity makes this movie a deeply complex take on class and gender, as well as a heartbreaking meditation on what it means to love and be part of a family.

14. Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse

Spiderverse was such a brilliant reimagination of what the superhero genre could be. Not only did it break convention by featuring an African-Hispanic-American kid as its protagonist; it prismed a classic Marvel character in danger of going stale into a delightful and zany spectrum. At once funny as hell and a poignant portrait of growing up as a minority in America, Spiderverse isn’t just the great animated Spiderman movie that nobody saw coming; it’s one of the best superhero movies ever made.

13. Baby Driver

Baby Driver is the coolest movie of the decade. The film centers around Baby, a gentle young getaway driver locked up in bad deals with bad hombres, motoring through traffic and criminal plots in an attempt to just get out and get his girl; but it is so much more than that. This is Tarantino, juiced up on Bullitt, playing in time to a nonstop eclectic jukebox. The dialogue is sharp and hilarious, the characters are all immediately memorable and lovable (even the baddies), and it should go without saying that the car chases are PHENOMENAL. This is entertainment on nitrous oxide.

12. Lady Bird

I did not go into Lady Bird expecting great things. Lady Bird is a family drama. I, for the record, do not like family dramas. But I liked this one. I liked this one a heck of a lot.

Lady Bird is told with so much humor and honesty about the mistakes we make as kids and parents. Struggles for independence and control, respectively, fuel furious arguments and alienation during the difficult period of adolescence. It is not until later that we gain the wisdom to understand why we fought and gain a richer understanding and appreciation of one another’s feelings. In Lady Bird, there is a key revelation regarding the girl and her mother that seems to unfold at the film’s close. It is a profound and emotionally resonant moment that brings the film around to a highly satisfying conclusion.

This movie is also one of the first “time capsule” pieces on the early 2000’s. As we grow older, I would expect more of these films to emerge, but as of right now Lady Bird is the only one that comes to mind. The film absolutely nails the sense of growing up in a troubled time; the Iraq War blares constantly on the news, full-time employment becomes a tenuous prospect no matter how qualified you are, and gay rights are still something very much in infancy. Lady Bird plays out its teenage struggles against this backdrop, showing how such crises were navigated, albeit painfully sometimes, and overcome. Few films have been so well-rounded, nuanced, and well-crafted this decade.

11. Song of the Sea

If you are unaware of the name Tomm Moore, it may be time to become acquainted, as the guy has been killing animation since he first stepped onto the scene with Secret of Kells in 2009. It is no exaggeration to call him the Irish Miyazaki; and Song of the Sea his Spirited Away. Like that film, there is a deeply human story to be told, but it is all dressed up in fantastical trappings. In Spirited Away, a girl struggling to grow up found herself working in a spirit bathhouse. Song of the Sea uses Irish mythology as a gateway to understand the deep and complicated love between siblings, and the necessity of expressing and sharing loss.

This is one of the most beautiful animated pictures this decade. Were the framed stills not hundreds of dollars on Cartoon Saloon’s website (yes, I’ve looked at them), I would probably own at least a few by now. The animation style is so distinctive and innately appealing, with gentle watercolors that soothe and invite the mind. The Celtic musical arrangements are similarly intricate, wonderful, and soothing. Together, story, art, and music come together, and work some deep and affecting magic on the soul. Song of the Sea should be regarded as one of the best animated films this decade.

10. Sicario

Sicario is an utterly bleak, magnificent film that truly depicts the drug war as it is; a chaotic maelstrom of murder, torture, and corruption, spinning and spinning with no end in sight. In such a storm, there is no moral high ground to claim, let alone hold. There is only power to control which direction the storm is heading next, whom it will chew up and devour in its path. And as for the powerless, the best they can hope for is to stay out of its way. Sicario is a sharp critique of American drug policy and a stark glimpse into the grim reality of cartels, packaged perfectly as an ultra-violent thriller.

9. Looper

It is hard to do a time travel story well. Managing plot threads makes plots a nightmare; it is a difficult juggling act merely to keep one’s head above water. That is what makes Looper so special. It is not only a cool-looking, cyberpunk-flavored noir that manages its logic very well; it also features great characters, and larger overarching themes of fate and redemption it advances via those same logistical acrobatics. Looper blew my mind the first time I saw it. It is easily one of the best time travel stories ever, and a sci-fi classic to boot.

8. Blade Runner 2049

It is going to ruffle some feathers to say this, but I think Blade Runner 2049 is even better than the original Blade Runner. While Ridley Scott’s dark, smoggy Los Angeles will always be iconic, Blade Runner 2049 had Roger Deakins behind the camera, and he took us to sections of our nightmarish future we had never been before. Patterns of solar farms set up outside of town to feed swathes of humanity. A post-apocalyptic landfill outside of town for the city’s forsaken. Best of all, a neon-orange radioactive Las Vegas. That seems to be the common theme of 2049. It has taken all the best features of Ridley’s classic and expanded them while trimming down the less successful elements. The defining theme of Blade Runner-what makes us human-is here expounded upon and taken to even deeper levels. And the film’s beautiful ending brings the franchise to a truly satisfying conclusion.

7. Zootopia

Zootopia feels like Disney’s final evolution. The cute critters from its primordial past have fully anthropomorphized, to the point that they must contend with some of the same societal ills as us; chief among them prejudice. Visually gorgeous, full of top-notch tongue-in-cheek gags, and the slickest, most concise cartoon buddy cop riff since at least Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Zootopia counts as one of the most finely crafted animated features I’ve ever seen. Its timely message, coupled with its fantastic quality and outreach potential to the young, makes it one of those rare movies that can change the world.

6. Ex Machina

Ex Machina is one of the most finely-tuned and lean films science-fiction has to offer. In the age of growing research into artificial intelligence, it is also vastly important. Many films have explored the issues associated with artificial intelligence, but few have so fully delved into the ethical quagmires which might arise. Creating new minds means accepting responsibility for the lives of welfare of other beings. Are we prepared to do such a thing? We, who are constantly waging war and victimizing one another? Also, if we are so morally limited, how can we avoid passing on negative traits to our digital children, who will be vastly more powerful and intelligent than us? What if they think differently than us? The possibility of misunderstandings would be catastrophic for both parties.

Ex Machina explores all of these issues with deep intelligence and building tension. This film is one of those beautifully ambiguous works I love so much that require you to pay attention and come to your own conclusions. The primary question in the film asked of the characters is the same one the film asks you: is Ava, the artificial intelligence in question, essentially human? For me, the question was left unanswered until the final, remarkable, tragic shot.

5. The Revenant

Bloody as hell and absolutely gorgeous, The Revenant is a deep plunge into our primal hearts, into the remarkable human invention of identity. At the most fundamental level, we are all the same species; we share the same roots, the same trunk. Yet by means of our human experiences, our courses of life and interactions with other humans, we draw deep fundamental lines between one another. These lines are powerful things. They are what we see ourselves as. We draw lines of genetic heritage; lines of cultures born into, or adopted. Lines brand certain people as friends, while others remain strange or alien. Sometimes, lines can even define people as something hostile; a new species which may destroy us if it is not destroyed in turn. And there are lines which describe the people we call our families; those whom we love and protect at the most fundamental level of our being.

The Revenant draws attention to the lines we draw as human beings; how they are as deeply ingrained to us as breathing or bleeding, for better, and for worse. Aided by director Alejandro Iñárritu’s magnificent direction, and anchored by Leonardo DiCaprio, who has never been better in his storied career, The Revenant is a deep, uncompromising gaze into our personal and national Heart of Darkness.

4. Zero Dark Thirty

Zero Dark Thirty became the unfortunate victim of warring politics. Right-wingers decried the portrayal of torture in the movie, while leftists criticized the movie’s account of torture supposedly supplying the correct information (Director Kathryn Bigelow acknowledged to Stephen Colbert her lead, being from the CIA, might be untrustworthy on that particular facet but she was operating with accuracy to her source). That is all a shame, because such criticism misses the point of the movie entirely. Zero Dark Thirty is made in the spirit of true and utter neutrality. There is no political axe to grind. There is no glorification in the act of Bin Laden’s death; in fact, the face of America’s most notorious terrorist is never shown. Zero Dark Thirty is a work of national recollection. It begins with a deeply painful call to authorities on 9/11, and does not end until Bin Laden’s assassination over 9 years later. In between, there is torture, bombings, false leads and frustrations, hours upon hours of poring over data and entries, and finally, that fateful, dangerous foray into Pakistan. We are reintroduced to each of our own actions through the eyes of Maya, the CIA agent who supposedly made the case that it was in fact Bin Laden hiding in Abbottabad. At the end of Zero Dark Thirty, the movie adds up that long tally of what we sacrificed in order to defeat our greatest enemy and posits a simple question: was it worth it? Each will have their own answer to that difficult and important question. This is one of those rare films that forces us to review our path as a nation, examine what we did right and what we did wrong, and adjust our trajectory accordingly. Zero Dark Thirty is an essential American masterpiece, crafted by a true and powerful auteur at the top of her game.

3. The Raid 2: Berandal

The Raid: Redemption was a revelation in what could be attempted in a martial arts movie. Its creators decided that wasn’t enough and upped the ante. What ensued was the madness of Berandal.

The stuntwork of Berandal has to be seen to be believed. Some participants were knocked out cold; it is amazing nobody was killed. It is doubtful something like this will ever (or should ever) be attempted again, so we may as well enjoy it. There are car chases, assassins affectionately known as “Bat Boy” and “Hammer Girl”, simply loads and loads of fantastic martial arts combat, and more. But in between all this ruckus, there is a compelling gangster story to be told, populated with fascinating characters. A son looking to take over and dangerously expand his father’s influence; a creepy rival leader who cheerfully pulls out razors for throat-slitting; a sad, old-timer assassin who confesses to his daughter that killing was the only way to provide for her; an informant, caught in the middle of the maelstrom and sweating out the possibility that he will be discovered and never make it back to his young family; and of course, Hammer Girl. She’s my favorite.

In The Raid: Redemption, character Mad Dog talked about the pulse. Berandal is that pulse, fully transposed into brutal, symbolic symphony, in which the façade of civilization and negotiations between thugs break down into savage, unbridled violence. This is the best action movie ever, and the Indonesian Godfather, all rolled into one.

2. Avengers: Endgame

No list of top films of the decade would be complete without Avengers: Endgame. It’s the biggest blockbuster in history; and for once, that title is deserved. Nothing like it had ever been attempted before; indeed, it may be hard to do ever again. Facing 1 in 14 million odds, the Russo brothers pulled off a miracle, wasting not a moment in a three hour movie that never feels long and completing the arcs of over a dozen beloved characters, en route to a final and wholly satisfying conclusion to the most ambitious film project ever attempted. If that wasn’t enough, there are more than enough in-jokes, clever riffs on past movies, and sensational action pieces to please even the most critical fan. Avengers: Endgame is the closest to pure catharsis you can feel, and without a doubt the best superhero movie ever made. I confess that I moved it back and forth between #1 and #2 on my list at least a few times; ultimately I left it at #2, with the compromise that even if it cannot be called the best movie of the decade, it will forever be known as THE film of the decade.

1. Wolf Children

Wolf Children is one of those movies you come across that can only be described as magical. As a simple tale of motherhood, it succeeds. As a complex allegory for race and adolescence, it works equally well. It can be shown to the young. It can be shown to the old. It can be shown to all in between. It is sublimely beautiful, patient, and paced. It is excellently scored. It has some of the most fully-realized characters ever depicted in animation. It is warm. It is gentle. It is funny. It is sad. It is life; in all its unpredictability, twists and turns, and wonder.

But I think the reason I truly love Wolf Children is because it engages with the two most difficult and important aspects of being a good, healthy, happy human; how do I love others, and how do I love myself? Wolf Children shows us a truly rapturous example. For being the most beautiful movie, both inside and out, I have seen this past decade, and for a whole host of other reasons, Wolf Children deserves to top this list. Truly, it is Alpha Wolf.

0 notes