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#he did finally start swallowing and maybe enjoyed it a little? idk if he survives I’m going to buy other flavors in case he just hates anise
okayto · 8 months
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Local Boy Disgruntled Responsible Adult Doesn’t Want Him to Die, More News on Monday
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magpiemorality · 4 years
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Platonic intruality with Remus as Patton’s guardian angel :0? Idk it’s an idea I had that I don’t think I could execute well but I think you could!! If I may add one more thing, could it be hurt comfort? I don’t wanna specify more because I wanna see what you do with it!!! (Okay bye now ily!)
This spiraled into something monstrous and painful and very, very cathartic. I hope it doesn’t hurt anyone to read, do watch the warnings. And remember; it is a story, and not an instruction booklet. Because of subject matter I’ve put a little summary in so there’s more warning about what’s coming!
And to you Chris, thanks for the prompt. It was special to write, in many ways.
The Hardest Fight Of All
Guardian Angel Remus has been assigned to help Patton Abbott, a sweet high school student with a very normal, decent life; nothing easy to spot for Remus to fight. But if the threat isn’t from outside, then it may be coming from within.
Warnings: Mental Health Issues, negativity, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Emotional self-harm, what might be construed as bad handling of an individual with mental health issues, death mention (metaphorical). 
AO3
***
Patton Abbot didn't deserve his guardian angel. No really. He was sure he was nice enough, and he tried to be kind to everyone he could and forgive anyone that did him harm, but he didn't deserve a guardian angel for that! He wasn't in much danger, he didn't have a lot to complain about, with his perfectly normal life and normal parents and normal school. He even had normal friends! It felt selfish to have a guardian angel when he wasn't suffering at all really, and he hadn't earned it through doing anything particularly good either.
His guardian angel loudly, passionately and regularly disagreed, but Patton had yet to be convinced. Remus was lovely, but there were so many more deserving people that needed his help! He was flattered Remus seemed to enjoy being his guardian angel and hanging around with him but it was probably only because he was forced, and Patton was good at acting nice so at least he hoped he wasn't making the angel's job too awful.
That was if you asked Patton, at least. Remus would have a different perspective on things. But Patton hadn't... actually asked him? Because he was so obviously lying when he insisted Patton did deserve his presence and protection, because Patton didn't deserve it.
Over time though, something changed. Remus started to lose his glow, his wings began to droop and he stopped skipping and floating around above the ground, steps dragging heavier and heavier on the floor. Patton was terrified, constantly checking in with him because Remus was too important to feel bad, or get sick, or whatever it was that was happening! Patton had to help him!
When he woke up one morning to find Remus leaning on the windowsill, gazing despondently out at the garden and the rest of the houses he started to really panic. He had to be hurting the angel somehow, but how?! And how could he fix it?!
"Remus? What- what's up bud? You know you can always talk to me right? I think you're awesome, and you deserve to be happy!"
"I'm not so sure."
"You do!" Patton insisted, placing a hand between his wing joints on his back. "You do so much good, you're always taking care of me and you're so kind and lovely and fun and you-"
"It's taken me a while, you know," Remus interrupted. Patton went quiet apart from a soft, questioning hum. "To figure out why I was sent to you."
Ah. "Well it must have been a mistake, like I said before, but that's okay, you can consider-"
"Patton for the love of the sky and the stars; shut up."
Patton shut up, trying not to let the harshness hurt. He knew he'd been babbling on a bit, so it was probably his own fault, and after all even angels only had a certain amount of patience. And Patton knew he was annoying. But it still hurt just a little bit.
Remus rounded on him, eyes alight for the first time in weeks. He grabbed Patton by the shoulders and steered him back to the bed, sitting him down on the edge firmly and moving back to pace in front of him. Patton waited, still conscious of the reprimand, until Remus finally burst.
"I can't believe it took me so long! Honestly, I wasn't sure there was much to do here; you seemed so happy so much of the time, and you get along with almost everyone! Sure there's the odd bully, but its only ever in situations you put yourself into knowing they'll come, like that video channel thing of yours, and I suppose I assumed you realised you could just leave if you didn't want to see it all. You were so nice to them, too nice! But even when I visited them, sorted that out for you, or got you to spend time away from it, you were still... so hurt. And now, now I see the true problem. It's worse than I thought, and I'm- I'm so sorry I didn't see before, but I'm also angry, and it's not at you but it is-"
Unsurprising, Patton thought. That made sense, after all.
"Because the evil that I'm supposed to battle for you... is you."
Slightly more surprising. "Come again?" Patton asked, apologising quickly for speaking up. Remus bared his teeth as fury flashed over his face, flaring bright again for a moment. He looked... terrifying, but glorious. An angel in battle.
"There is no greater threat to you than yourself. And I don't know how to fight that! I'm angry because I'm sad; why would you attack yourself so viciously day after day, hour after hour, word after word and never afford yourself a single iota of the kindness you afford others?!" He stopped, chest heaving, and Patton felt the weight of an expected answer. He couldn't reply, just shrugging, which only set Remus off again. "You, the nasty horrible thing inside you, it's killing you! You feel like you're dying, and you just let it happen. I don't- I don't know how to fight that, I don't think I can fight that, and you just- " He growled, his morningstar appearing, only partially there, for him to swing in fury. "Everything they say to you that you rail against in public, you bite back against if those very words are turned on your friends with no mercy, you say the same things in your own head. You are so awful to yourself, you're just like them! I cant fight that!"
Patton swallowed. "It's not a big deal," he said weakly, heart hammering in his ribcage.
"But it is! And I can't do my job if you're the one stopping me at every turn! You don't even know you're doing it, or maybe you do and just pretend you don't, I'm not even sure anymore. But you desire so much better, why can't you take your own damn advice?! I don't- I don't think you even want to feel better sometimes, you've turned your suffering into so much of your identity. Do you actually like being this way...?" He cut off, narrowing his eyes at Patton suspiciously. Patton felt part of him squirm under that gaze, but another small part was quietly begging for the angel to go on, to finish lancing this horrid, deep-seated, ancient boil of Bad.
"It's not fair!" Remus finished. "You're doing it to yourself! Do you know how easy that is to stop?!"
Those were the words that finally got Patton up on his feet. Because no matter the truth of the rest of it; that was a lie. "It's not easy! It's not!" Thoughts of therapy and mental health diagnoses and the difficult of facing everything alone when it was easier to just suffer and frame it in martyrdom and help everyone and hope, pray that one day someone would help him too.
(And then push it away away away when that same help was offered back, falling into misery when that endless push- desperately testing his friends to their limits because he knew they'd get tired eventually- turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy as they ran out of support to throw against his walls of self-hatred and negativity)
Remus stepped forwards until they were chest to chest, gazing down from his height, fully blazing bright in the innocuous setting of Patton's bedroom. "But it is. If you want to."
Patton sat down again with a thump, feeling faint and nauseous. There was a moment of silence before he burst into tears, pulling his knees up to hide his face in. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. Because of the horrible cruel words? Because he didn't deserve even this harsh kindness (that felt like staring at the sun without protection or touching electricity, raw and painful and unfiltered for his comfort) after how awful he'd been? Because... because it felt terrible to even think about the fact that this could be his fault in some way?! And now Remus hated him just like the rest and he was going to leave and Patton would be alone and-
Two warm, gentle hands came up to cup his face and tilt it back into view, and Remus was there, looking stern and serious but not angry anymore. The relief that flooded through Patton was almost euphoric, like the weight of the entire sky lifted back up off his lungs. "I can't fight this battle alone, Patton," the angel said. "And I can't fight it at all if you don't truly, deeply, one hundred percent want me to fight it. To do that you need to understand that it's your battle too, that you have to put your armour on and go to war alongside me, if we're to have any chance at success. Because right now you're on their side, and you're sabotaging us from within."
"But it's my condition! My brain doesn't-"
"You think I don't know about that?" Remus frowned, rubbing his cheeks gently. "You've got medication. You've got a therapist, you have people who are trying their hardest to love and support you. But you can't survive the ocean on a raft of other people's making. It will stop you sinking, for a time- perhaps even for a long time, but you won't get any closer to shore unless you start to paddle. And as you paddle you'll also have to patch up any cracks in the raft with your own hands, perhaps with the materials you're given but the work to stitch it all together and sail it has to be your own. It's- I'm not a fan of metaphors but do you see? You can't be the only one not contributing to your own recovery."
"I'm not recovering from anything, I just have a negative self image and... and some other things. But they're bad! They're not things you get better from-" Patton tried, voice trembling and weak. Remus just looked at him, hands still on his face.
"Aren't they?" He asked simply. "You don't think you could ever manage to feel better than you do right now? You think all the stories of people improving their lives are... made up? You think, perhaps, that the medication is all a placebo, that once you've labelled the problem it's made permanent and nothing can ameliorate the symptoms or make life easier to live?" The angel leaned in and dropped a kiss to Patton's forehead, leaving a warm tingling in its wake. "The world would burn, if that were true," he whispered, before standing up.
Patton just kept on sitting in silence, face itching as his tears started to dry on his skin.
Remus gave him a small but real smile. "You've got plenty to think about. Consider my pitch; without you I will continue to fight the war, hopeless though it may be, but with you..." He grinned properly then. "Oh the things we could achieve, dear one."
And off he vanished, in a flutter of feathers and the sound of moving light.
It left Patton feeling as though, in the space of only maybe half an hour, the entire world had changed around him. He wondered, as he lay down on his bed, exhausted and reaching for his favourite plushie for comfort, whether what Remus said was what his therapist secretly wanted to say. It was a funny thought, mild-mannered Dr Picani ranting like the passionate angel, but Patton barely managed a lift of his lips. He needed to rest, and then he'd start to think about all this. If it wasn't true, if the angel was mistaken, seeing things that weren't there because of how boring it was being Patton's guardian; then nothing really needed to change except he would renew his efforts to get Remus reassigned.
If it was true though? Then that changed everything, and Patton Abbott would have a lot of hard work ahead.
He wished he knew which one he was hoping for.
-
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ranger-jedi-knight · 4 years
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A New Hero Chap 14
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887313/chapters/59619589 Taglist: ASK AND YOU SHALL BE PUT ON~~!!!!
Ok, so here’s the next chap! Sorry about the wait, life got....interesting to say the least. At long last tho, we have Mari n Co heading to Gotham finally! Cant wait for the small reunion later this chap!! I FORGOT THE TWEETS AGAIN DAMNIT!!!!!! I am SOOOO sorry i WILL remember to keep addin them on at the ends!!!
“Your brother wants me and Lana to what?” Alya asked looking over at Dick tired.
“Stay put. Easy!” Dick replied and Alya glared at him.
“Uh, huh. He wants, me a Detective to not leave the precinct, and Lana, a college student to not move even tho she has cleanses to go to?” she repeated and Dick pressed his lips together.
“Ok, when you put it like that-” he started but got cut off by Alya putting her hand over Dick’s.
“Damian isn’t even here. Why does he care what we do since your his brother who should get his butt over to the airport since his flight should be landing in 20 or so minutes and its already 9:50. Get your ass over to that airport to give your brother a hug,” Alya said glaring and Dick yelped. “Ya, give a call when your getting back since well, you’ll see,” she said gripping his shirt and pulling him close and DIck swallowed the lump in his throat, “that Babs ain’t the only one to kick your ass into shape.”
A smirk grew on Dick’s face at that. “Is that a promise?” he teased and Alya scoffed pushing him back.
“You had your chance buddy. Now get outta here before I make you regret being late to seeing Damian arrive,” she said and Dick gave a mock salute before scurrying off, grabbing his keys as he ran while their fellow cops laugh around them.
“Did he really have a chance?” A British African American FBI agent asked as he watched Dick leave, his accent still going strong even tho he’s been in New Jersey for the last 5 years.
“Eh, possibly, Xavier. I do have eyes you know,” she said and Xavier snorted as he straightened his stack of papers. “Once maybe, until you realize he’ll only have eyes for Babs,” she continued and Xavier nodded.
“You’ll find love, I’m sure of it. If Shrek can find love as an Ogre, so can you,” Xavier said and Alya made a fake offended sound in response.
“Are you saying I look like an Ogre?” she asked and Xavier raised his hands in defense. “Not at all!” he said and some people hummed at that.
“It really sounded like it~!” the precincts secretary, Mira, hummed out with a smirk and Xavier glared over at her.
“Don’t anger the Goddess! She’ll rain down on you the wrath of almighty Zeus himself!” a different cop, Sarah she thought, shouted causing Alya to snort.
“I ain’t no Goddess, silly!” she shouted over to them. The cop in question, it was Sarah she can recognize that golden blonde ponytail anywhere, stuck her head out the break room with a look.
“No, you are a Goddess. Especially in that flowing dress, you wore for the Halloween party Dick threw,” she called and Alya rolled her eyes as some nodded agreement.
“You guys are ridiculous, get back to work,” she called and that had everyone nodding agreement while Alya chuckled to herself as she went to her desk. Xavier followed and leaned against the desk with his hip.
“Sticking a pin in that ‘Is Alya Grayson a Goddess or Not’ conversation,” he said chuckling softly, “I do hope whatever it is Dick’s brother has planned for you is nice,” he said and Alya smiled at him while nodding slowly.
“So do I. Now, isn’t Agent Fornell waiting for those documents your holding?” she asked and Xavier nodded with a smile.
“That he is. Talk to you later then. Goodbye!” he said beaming as he walked backward, waving to everyone who returned it before he left the precinct.
Alya shook her head as she pulled her phone out and texted Lana: Als: Heads up, Damian apparently wants you and I to stay put where we r
Eagle-eye: whys that???? We rnt the closest
Als: who knows. Dick was just sending the message. idk, maybe Mari wants to hug us when she arrives?
Eagle-eye: maybe. I dont got time to theorize, got a test to do
Als: GL!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mari was bouncing between Damian and Xander as they boarded the plane finally after waiting for so long. They had to deal with morning traffic which took forever it felt like before they arrived an hour and a half arrive before their flight left making sure they didn’t have to worry about security taking forever. And the whole time Mari stared at the desk with her leg bouncing.
With 30 minutes to spare, Ms. Bustier arrived, the last one too. The other students had converged in the gate slowly at different times but with enough time to not worry. But Ms. Bustier arrived with less than 30 minutes to spare causing her class to worry.
Which to say the least?
Was awkward.
Alya and the others that didn’t know sat at one side of the gate looking at Mari and the people that knew awkwardly. They felt bad but knew they messed up.
BIG time.
Like MEGA BIG TIME that a simple apology wouldn’t work. It didn’t help that Mari’s friends didn’t let them thru. Kim, Nino, Chloe, Sabrina, Max, Lila, Xan, and Adrien all glared at them while Damian focused on Mari. Meanwhile, Alya, Alix, Mylene, Ivan, and Rose all tried figuring out what they could do to earn favor back from Mari. Juleka was the only one in the pure neutral middle ground. She skimmed the email and knew a movie was being filmed.
But didn’t know Lila was lying for sure.
She could guess. When Mari tried saying that and the disagreed she figured she’d stay quiet. She didn’t need anyone else trying to make her life hell. So Mari was neutral toward the girl as she hasn’t been present at that moment. So she was silently supporting the group and offering tidbits to help them realize that they need to change themselves before trying to regain Mari’s trust and friendship.
Only Time Will Tell.
They boarded the plane and sat back for the long flight. Most of them slept during the trip. Mari and Lila included. The two leaned against each other while Xan and Damian talked. Well, Damian talked. Which was odd. But it distracted Xan from the anxiety pooling in his gut as they flew.
After some time, and some crackers, the dread settled down. Damian told him everything that’s happened in Gotham since he left. Some he didn’t like hearing. But as Damian reminded him, everything was ok. No one is hurt.
Soon after Damian finished, Mari and Lila woke up. Lila smiled as she and Damian switched seats and she took Xan’s hand into hers. “It’ll be fine. They’re going to be so happy to see you,” she said quietly and Xan nodded.
“Even knowing what happened?” he asked and Lila hummed, tracing a finger along the back of his hand in nonsensical patterns.
“Ya, I think so. I think that they’re just going to be so happy that you survived everything and came back to them. From what it sounds like, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here today,” Lila whispered leaning her head against his shoulder. In return, Xan lightly leaned his head against her head with a sigh.
“Ya, that’s what Damian said too. I know it’s true, but my head just keeps pushing all these doubts,” he mumbled.
“That’s fair. It’s been 8 years since you’ve seen them. Lana watched you get hit. And then, seemingly right before her eyes, you disappear. People change with time. But, those bonds? They don’t typically change. I bet they still miss you as if it was just yesterday,” she replied and Xan nodded slowly, placing his other hand over their hands, squeezing her hands.
“Thank you,” he whispered as they relaxed in their seats and played a movie for the rest of the flight.
“I hope they enjoy the surprise,” Mari whispered and Damian gave a small nod at that.
“I have no doubt that they’ll love it,” he said and Mari smiled softly at that.
“Ya, and they have you to thank for that,” she said and Damian gave a shrug.
“You did most of the work and helped him get better,” he pointed out and Mari smiled as she pressed a kiss to his cheek, a faint blush on her cheeks from doing that, not seeing Damian’s faint blush either.
“Well, I wouldn’t have been able to help if you hadn’t helped him escape. You may not have stayed, but you certainly did help,” she said softly and Damian nodded slowly at that. He remembered it clearly. Even tho it happened over a year ago, it was clear to him.
Damian had turned the GPS off the batjet and flew to Nanda Parbat. He remembered the boy that his mother kidnapped and brought back to life. He remembered training with him a couple of times to let him know he wouldn’t tolerate anything but perfection. He didn’t know what happened to the boy older than him when he left. But then he learned and regretted everything.
Xander was the little brother to Dick’s partner Alya who disappeared. He learned from Issi that Xan, or better known as Whisper in the League, was alive still and there. She had wanted to help get him out since she helped care for him, but she couldn’t without getting caught or killed for real. But now he’d fix the mistake he made.
It was quite easy to sneak into the building. He made his way to where he remembered his bedroom was. He knocked out any guard he saw and pounded on the door. Xan was wearing his training gear when he opened the door. He didn’t recognize Damian as the angry 9-year-old that beat him up when he first arrived. He was wearing all black with a hood and mask on to hide his identity. “W-who are you?” Xan asked suspiciously as he picked up the sword he kept next to the door.
“Do you want to stay here?” Damian asked and Xan looked at him confused.
“Wha-?”
“Do you want to stay here or escape? I can get you out,” he said and Xan glanced around before nodding slowly.
“I want to go back home,” he said and Damian nodded as he then started tugging Xan out. Damian was shocked he was still able to recognize Xan after all this time and all the changes. He wasn’t the same short, scrawny 11-year-old. He had filled out and was taller than Damian by quite a few inches.
“I’ll get you home then,” he said leading them out. As they ran out in the snow, Damian was behind Xan making sure he didn’t get hit. Which was a miracle in the storm, slipping on hidden ice as they ran. But he had been. So the best bet was to get him to Mari and Fu who would help him heal. So when he reached the outskirts of Paris, he cloaked and flew to an alley near the fight and helped Xan out. “This is as far as I can get you. I’m sorry,” he whispered as Xan gripped his head falling to the ground with his backed pressed to the wall.
“I just wish I could have brought him home all the way,” he whispered and Mari took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.
“You did what you could, Dami. He was hurt and needed help. If he had been taken directly to Gotham, who knows what would have happened,” she argued and Damian nodded slowly.
“Yes, I know. I just....when he recognized me when I saw the tat on his back. I....I wasn’t prepared to see the tat on his back and I forgot he was there still. So much happened since I got him out, I forgot he was with you. And he didn’t remember me helping him out. And I told him and he was happy. Even thou I didn’t get him out safely, he was happy,” he said at length and Mari once more squeezed his hand. “Well, that’s probably because he knew you did your best. You went back to get him out of that place unprompted. You could have left him there, but you didn’t. You got him out with only a head injury that made everything fuzzy. Give yourself credit, Dami,” Mari said and Damian gave her a small smile at the end of her little speech.
“Thank you,” he whispered and Mari beamed at him.
After some time, the plane landed and they went thru the sequence to leave. Mari smiled as she watched Dick hug Damian with his brothers behind him smirking at his mock displeasure. When Xan appeared talking to Lila, the entire Wayne Family froze in shock. “Y-you-!” Jason started shocked.
“Xander?” Dick asked, a heartbroken tone in his voice. Xan froze where he was and looked up at the family. He didn’t seem to be breathing as he nodded slowly. “Your alive,” he breathed out before making his way over and setting his hands on Xan’s shoulders. Dick started looking him over while the other two made their way over. He then pulled Xan in for a bone-crushing hug causing a surprise sound to leave Xan. “I’m so glad your alive,” he continued.
“Man, this is your surprise, Pixiepop?” Jason asked and Mari nodded with a smile. “They’re going to love it,” he said messing up both Xan’s and Mari’s hair.
“I hope so,” Mari said and Tim gave Mari a reassuring look.
“Mari, they are going to love this. Dont doubt yourself, you’ll see,” Tim said as the rest of the class left the plane.
“You got him?” Mari asked and the boys nodded as they followed everyone to baggage claim.
“Ya, just meet us at the precinct in 20 minutes. I wouldn’t want you to miss the surprise,” Dick replied and Mari smiled with a nod.
Mari-aculous @MDC_Designs The BIG SURPRISE is in 20 minutes~!! Cant wait to see their faces!!! #soexcited #sosoon #almostthere #surprises Dick @ FlyingGrayson Theyre going to LOVE it! Be prepared for lots of hugs Mari!!!
Ok, so here it is!!! The next chap!!! So this was takin while to push out that I decided I wanted to give the reunion scene a proper thing by giving it its own chap. Next chap we will see the Grayson Reunion!!!!! I cant wait for you guys to see it!!! until next time!! ~Love Willa<3<3<3
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oswildin · 5 years
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The Thrill of The Fight ~ Dhawan!Master x F!Reader
Request: Big fan of your fics! idk if you've done anything similar but could you do a master x reader where the reader ends up killing someone for the first time to save the master. And either they enjoy the buzz of killing or they're disgusted with themselves, or disgusted that they like it, i don't know if that makes sense, have fun 😅 ( @hannahlilyyx )
Summary: (Y/N) did what she had to do... On the surface she knew it was wrong, but deep down... she kinda liked it.
Warnings: Maybe a bit of toxicity... Idk, didn’t mean to write it that way lol
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The Master and (Y/N) had travelled together for a while now. Time almost didn’t feel like a thing when you were constantly jumping around to different planets and time periods. She didn’t know if it had been a month, a few or a year. At first she felt terrified by the man. His anger, his outbursts... the violence... however, it had lessened over the time she’d spent with him. Somehow, she felt she almost made him try to be a better person. She didn’t know if that was just her ego, hope or sheer truth. She tried her best to give him other options than to just killing.
At first he hated the way she would try to lecture him, teach him better ways to deal with his emotions, but eventually he subconsciously began to listen to what she was telling him. The Master knew who he was. At least he thought he did until (Y/N) came along, making him question everything he’d done or would do.
It had only meant to be one trip. One trip after she had witnessed an alien stand off on a street on Earth. That was not how she expected her day to end. At first he pushed her. See how far the little human would go on their adventures. It was almost like an experiment. The amount of times she threatened to leave. Not that he cared. Or at least he told himself he didn’t care. But every time she would stay and soon he even began to apologise for his actions.
The Master had currently been taken hostage by a group of weird lizard alien people... She thought she heard the Master say ‘Silurian’. She was hiding behind a pillar in the underground chamber, watching as the Master tried to talk his way out of his situation. However, she could see it wasn’t working. They looked like warriors. It also appeared they believed he was The Doctor...
“You stopped us last time, Doctor, but you can’t this time.” The female leader hissed. “You destroyed our colony, you killed our leader...���
“For the last time, I am not the Doctor.” The Master said, his tone disgusted as he mentioned his old friend. “He wasn’t the only Timelord to survive Gallifreys destruction.”
“Either way! We will kill you! Destroying the chances of Gallifrey and the Timelords ever rebuilding!” The Silurian spat as two Silurian guards pushed the Master down to his knees. He groaned at the impact, looking down before manically laughing.
“Do it.” He challenged. “Silurians, you were once the inhabitants of Earth, now look at you. Forced away into the dark.” He smirked. “Would be warriors...” (Y/N) shook her head, annoyance rising as she wished he would for once shut up. The lead Silurian held up her gun, aiming it at the Master.
“We will rise.” She spat in return as she was about to shoot the man. (Y/N) felt her heart stop, before she looked over, seeing a Silurian guard stood close, his gun by his side. She didn’t even think, rushing out from her hiding spot as she grabbed it from the alien, quickly aiming it at the leader, not even hesitating before shooting the lizard lady. She yelled in pain as she fell to the ground, motionless. The Master quickly pulled out his tissue compression device, miniaturising the two behind him. An alarm sounded as he jumped up, rushing to (Y/N) as he looked at her in surprise. The other Silurians began to make a move towards them as the Master grabbed her hand as she threw the gun down, lasers being shot at them as they ran.
The pair ended up back in the TARDIS, safely getting away. (Y/N) hadn’t said a word since they returned. She sat on an armchair that was placed facing away from the console. The Master watched her closely, analysing her from afar.
“Someone got brave.” He commented, breaking the silence between them. “Also i think you may have just started world war three between the humans and Silurians.” He put his hands in his pockets as he walked over to her. He was shocked to see her with tears down her cheeks as he stood beside her, looking down.
“I killed someone.” She croaked out. “What does that make me?” She swallowed hard as she kept replaying the scene over and over in her head.
“Human.” He answered as she peered up at him finally. “So very human.”
“How?” She shook her head. “It’s not every day a human just kills another person is it?!” She argued as he tilted his head in a ‘you’re right’. She sighed, wiping her face with her hands.
“True. But it makes you human, because you allowed emotions to get the better of you.” He told her, sitting opposite her in another armchair. He leant forwards, resting his arms on his legs. “But it also makes you powerful and in control.” He spoke lowly. She furrowed her brows at his words. “Tell me... Did it give you a little buzz? A sense of self you didn’t know you had... a sense of control.” She looked away for a moment, as she tightened her jaw. She didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. She didn’t want him to be, but he was. “Listen, it was gonna be me or her. You chose her.”
“But it wasn’t my choice to make!” She exclaimed, biting her nail as she felt anxiety take over. “And now... I have all this... energy... this... electricity! I don’t understand and I don’t want to.” She told him as he nodded slightly. “But I also feel guilt. I feel anger, and sorrow. What I did... it was wrong.”
“But it felt so right...” He smiled slightly as she shook her head, tears forming once more. “It’s ok... That’s how I feel... we’re the same.” He smirked as she looked at him almost appalled.
“We are not the same.” She told him sternly. “I would not kill a whole planet of my own people, I would not kill for fun, I would not kill just to get this buzz.” She told him as he raised a brow, before his expression turned dark.
“Do you think I wanted to destroy my home?” He spat. “Do you really think that’s what I set out to do?! See... it’s in my nature. I know nothing else.” He explained as she listened, her expression softening. “Humans... you do as you see.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed with you.” She told him in a whisper. “I didn’t want to become this.” She told him as he stood from his seat, before kneeling in front of her, placing his hands over her own.
“But here you are... and you won’t ever leave.” He told her as a matter of fact. “Cause you enjoy this too much. The thrill. The adrenaline... So what you killed someone?” He shook his head. “Morally it’s wrong. But in the situation it was right.” He looked at her as she stared down, glassy eyes as he suddenly leant up, crashing his lips to hers. He had waited to see this side of her for so long. The vulnerable, spontaneous an dangerous side of her. It appealed to him. Although he may have tried to be a better person, he couldn’t change his feelings. He instead buried them. She didn’t have time to react as he pulled away, holding her face with his hand. “Don’t let this destroy you... let it make you.”
~
Taglist: @drapetxmaniia @imagine-whatever @dannighost @blamerogertaylor @asupersonicwoman @a--1--1--3 @yourlocalspacebisexual @the-sweet-space-bi @impalasquiptyseven
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thewhaatever · 5 years
Text
BE MORE CHILL LONDON
My brain was very bad at processing things that day but seeing the show on Saturday was honestly the best experience of my life and here's why:
First of all: Joe Iconis was sitting two rows in front of me.
I was freaking out a little and my friend was laughing at me but I didn't want to annoy him so I tried to chill
But then he was standing behind us in line for merch (he was buying a whole bunch of his own merch which was kinda funny) and some other people talked to him so I did too and I'm not entirely sure what I said to him but he was SO nice and then I got a picture and... yeah I was just really happy.
Now to the show:
The set was incredible. Absolutely amazing.
The screen was used so perfectly and made everything seem like a videogame, honestly.
It was basically the only set. The only furniture they had was a desk for Jeremy's room, chairs for the school and some other minor things (I have to say it did seem a little bit empty at times and I wish that would have used a bed at least - didn't make sense to me that Jeremy falls asleep at his desk - but I'm probably just too used to the Broadway set)
More Than Survive was SO good! Scott puts so much emotion in his portrayal of Jeremy... I can't really describe what exactly he did but something about his Jeremy felt so real and yeah I might have cried a little... (I honestly think he’s my favourite Jeremy so far)
Also: Blake's Michael is very different from George's but in such an interesting way. I loved him the second he entered the stage. He really did capture the "Doesn't care about what anyone thinks, but deep down he does a little" - Energy.
Play Rehearsal was.... wow.
Miracle's Christine had no chill. At all. She was so unbelievably weird and quirky. (Also, she seemed much colder / not interested in talking about anything except theatre and when she didn't want to talk about something she was really showing that by acting uninterested... I thought that was an interesting take that definitely worked for the character) Every normal person would have been a little freaked out by her energy during the song probably but Jeremy was just staring at her the whole time with heart eyes it was really cute.
Favourite part was how Jake said: "Rich is doing it cause he's MY BOI!"
Squip Song was great, his VOICE!! WOW. I love James's Rich. Like, you could really see that even though he's the school's bully, there's something underneath that's not right. Everything he did felt very forced and I loved it (also, I told James at the stage door that Rich is my favourite character and that made him really happy apparently)
Now that I am thinking about it, I think they changed that scene a little and Rich didn't pee (so that conversation was missing) but that was probably due to the set bc the toilets were just projections on the screen so it would have been weird if he pretended to pee on the screen 😂
Also really loved the use of the screen during that whole scene, it was flashing and glitching when Rich's Squip was acting up
They brought back the bean bags for Two Player Game!!
The staging for this was so cool because at the end when Jeremy and Michael were dancing the screen made it look like they were the characters in the game (but differently than on Broadway) and I loved it (I'm sorry I'm really bad at explaining this)
Also, Blake's 'Is it really true, I'm your favourite person' was so funny, he did like a model pose or something and was sliding off the bag.
Scott was basically sitting on the floor the whole time because he somehow didn't manage to properly sit on that bag
Also, I think they changed the dialogue about Jeremy's mum a little bc when Michael asks him if he's heard from her Jeremy said "A little" and I'm pretty sure he didn't say that before
I feel Blake's Michael is that kind of person who's really bad at expressing how he feels... like, you could see in his face that he didn't like Jeremy's idea about going to the Payless and that he was genuinely scared about being too uncool for Jeremy afterwards but he really tried to say the "will u be to cool for... videogames" kinda jokey and yeah I'm overanalysing but I loved it
One thing in general: Everyone seemed really young on stage, definitely much younger than the Broadway cast. Especially Jeremy and Michael. I really believed that they were teenagers!! And I really love that.
Scott was fidgeting a LOT with his hands and I feel like that was very in character for Jeremy. I thought so often that he would drop things.... (like the money in the scary stockboy scene.. it took him so long to give it to Michael)
Jakes favourite restaurant is Pizza Hut now
When the Squip was activated Scott was screaming and rolling across the entire stage and it would have been funny if it didn't look like he was actually in pain
Because the stage was different the Squip had to walk on for his entrance and somehow that was incredibly funny to me but I can't explain why
Stewart Clarke. Holy shit. I'd totally swallow a supercomputer if it looked like him! I loovveeed his take on the role. I've seen interviews with him where he was talking about how he has to think of so many weird questions like how does a computer act, does it feel, how does it feel etc. And I really saw that he was thinking about those things. At the beginning his Squip was very robot-ish, simply focused on making Jeremy cool, without any secret plan or anything. But throughout the show, the Squip clearly evolved and became more... human, I guess? Like it was showing more and more human traits/emotion which peaked in The Play (later more on that)
In conclusion: I loved the Squip so so much
Squip: "Everything about you makes me wanna die!"
Jeremy: "Uhhhhhh this is intense!!"
The Brooke/Chloe scene in the mall was so funny and the part where the Squip tells Jeremy what to say (u know, in bmc pt.1) might have been my favourite part of the show. Scott looked so awkward and confused by everything but he did his best to mirror the Squip (they did identical movements the whole time which I don't remember from Broadway but my memory is shit so...)
Millie's Chloe was so over the top I love it.
They changed the dialogue a lot here, so that there's no mention of Madeleine at all so Chloe wasn't pissed or anything (I'm not sure if I like that) Jeremy just said something along the lines of "Oh you wouldn't know her because she's French" and that's where Brooke picks up her trying to speak French- thing
I THINK (not 100% sure tho) that Millie said "Jeremy?" Instead of "Jerry" At the beginning of that scene and that Scott was a bit confused for a second but he just continued with "It's Jeremy" and then Millie had to duck away because she was laughing (but maybe she did say it right and was just laughing at Jeremy in character idk)
I loved how Eloise's Brooke was so awkward. From the second that Jeremy noticed her she tried SO hard to impress him and it didn't work very well but it was so cute. Chloe tries to show her the whole time what to do but that doesn't make it better.
During Do you wanna ride, Jermey got so scared of the girls that he climbed onto the table with the t-shirts (actually now that I'm thinking about it he was climbing on things a lot)
Guy That I'd kinda be into was so cute!! I never particularly liked that song but Miracle somehow gave it a very different flair and I loved that. They changed the staging a bit and there weren't other people with hearts (there were hearts on the Screen) but at one point Rich was coming on stage with a helium heart balloon for like a second and then he disappeared again 😂 that was a bit weird but...
now lets get to the Act 1 Finale which was SO GOOD
Okay, so they changed it up quite a lot: After the whole "Eminem is dead?!" The Squip tells Jeremy that Brooke likes him (and Christine doesn't, yet) and Jeremy is so shocked that he turns to Brooke and says "You like me?" And she's like confused but nods and he's like: "Why???" (I loved that, Scott delivered that line really funny) and then Brooke explains the whole thing with Chloe, that she always gets noticed first etc. (That whole scene was really cute Jeremy and Brooke really seemed to actually like each other and I was really able to relate to Brooke - good Job Eloise!)
Then Brooke starts singing the "I'm tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am" Jeremy repeats it and then she starts Upgrade with the tres magnifique bit. It's like on the OBC until Jake's and Christine's part. They do their verse but run off after "Gotta get an upgrade" (Miracle was singing this up the octave which sounded SO cool) so they didn't have their conversation about Jake's parents (I did miss this a little but I get why it was cut) and then Jeremy ran back on stage followed by the Squip (you can see in Stewart's performance that he's already much more persuasive in a human way than before) who starts to sing the aggressive "C-c-c-come on Jeremy can't you see we got a plan, now be the man..." From the original cast album (I loved this SO much). Everyone came on to sing the "Christine" part in that and was surrounding Jeremy. He then shouts "Arghh too many voices in my head" the Squip leaves, Michael comes on, they do their "Jeremy that's amazing" dialogue, the Squip explains optic nerve blocking and says that he has to cut Michael off if he wants to be popular (Squip: "Cut your ties... or you'll both drown" I remember that because it sounded so unbelievably dramatic), Michael asked "Are you coming" and leaves the stage for Jeremy to sing Loser, Geek, Whatever.
I loved all of that so much because Scott puts so much emotion into this song, it nearly made me cry!! He really conveyed Jeremy's inner struggle without making him look like an asshole, more like a stupid kid that's going to make a really stupid decision
The second verse and chorus of LGW were cut (the "Dad taught me follow your instincts..." part) which I really liked (I never enjoyed the chorus of this song tbh).
"THE PROBLEM HAS ALWAYS BEEN.... .... me" the way Scott sang that truly broke my heart.
AND THEN (Loved this SO SO MUCH) after "ever agaaiiiiinnn" He went straight into that part that I guess you could call an Upgrade reprise from the Original Cast album ("And I wasn't sure before but now I wanna go all the way and more so give me that upgrade" etc.) AND it tied in so perfectly with Michael then asking again "Are you coming" and "Optic nerve Blocking on" and as much as I loved the "I'm tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am" chorus, this was SUCH a great way to end act one, I might even prefer this.
I just love how they mixed in the old parts from this song that I was really missing on the OBC.
When the Squip came out in his first dress (is it a dress?) Costume people were cheering, loved that. (I mean that costume IS gorgeous and Stewart Clarke looks absolutely fabulous in all the costumes)
That was Act 1!! (I am so sorry if you actually read everything up to this point...)
Act 2
Halloween had such an amazing energy!!! The dances!! Ahh
At his "I don't have a machete but a loaf of bread will do" line, James threw the bread up in the air but didn't catch it and just hit his head as he went to pick it up as if he was blaming his Squip (not sure if that was supposed to happen but I loved it)
I loved how the Squip joined the dance, it looked so fancy with his costume 😂 I know he did this on Broadway too and I never really understood why (the others can't see him after all) but there it kinda felt like it was hinting at the fact that the Squip was becoming more human-ish??? (I'm definitely overthinking this) Like he was having fun maybe??? Idk
Millie's Do you wanna hang was so hilarious!!!
Like I said they didn't have a bed so she was just dancing around him (which looked good but I missed a bed here tbh) and they added a bit of dialogue (I think, maybe it was in the Broadway version) where Jeremy asked her "Are you jealous of Brooke??" And she was like "I'm not jealous I just don't understand why everyone likes her and no one likes me." (Or something like that) and the way Millie delivered that line really gave Chloe a whole lot of character depth. She sounded so heartbroken, I just wanted to hug her.
When the Squip shuts off (it looked really funny), Stewart just trust-falls backwards off stage and someone has to catch him and I was just thinking what if whoever catches him forgets about it??? 😂😂 (No seriously, dear catch person, don't forget this, ever... we need him as a Squip)
And now, the moment we have all been waiting for. MITB
Ahhh I was having so many feeling during this scene. I already told you that I love Blake's Michael and I really loved how rational and smart (?) He sounds in the scene before the song compared to Jeremy who kept insisting that the Squip isn't bad.
They added a bit of dialogue here too I think, because Jeremy said something along the lines of "You said technology isn't dangerous-" "Yeah unless someone uses it like you do!" (Something like this), really loved that as people somehow keep insisting that this is a show about the dangers of modern technology (It's definitely not).
Blake and Scott both did such an incredible job in this scene (and overall obviously), you just knew something bad was about to happen...
At the "Leave me alone" (not sure if that's what he's saying) line Jeremy steps reaaalllyy close to Michael (like there noses were almost touching close) and he looked so intimidating towards Michael and Blake sounded actually a bit scared when he says "Or you'll what?"
Then they just stand there for some seconds, not moving, before Jeremy says the "Get out of my way, loser" and Scott says this with so much hatred, my heart was actually hurting. Michael then just steps away and he looked sooo sad I almost cried.
MITB was absolutely amazing. Again very different than George's version but with just as much emotion and Blake's voice was sooooo beautiful, I can't!!
He sang the last "Michael in the Bathroom by himself" a bit different (can't really describe it but the note on "bath" was higher than usual? I don't know much about music sorry) and I loved loved loved that
The scene with Christine and Jeremy was so sweet. They were so unbelievably weird, I love them.
When the costumed person between them leaves, Christine pulls Jeremy across the stage by his legs and places them on top of hers (like in the promo pic) and it looked so cute!!
After that when Rich comes on and says the "I'll burn you out" I was soo sure somehow that there used to be a voiceover of his Squip but I can't find it anywhere so idk I'm confused... But it's definitely not there anymore.
Smartphone Hour. Holy shit, that was SO good. Renée Lamb's voice OMG!! Absolutely incredible.
(I just had to notice once again how much I hate the costumes in this scene... like the colours are great but what teenager wears THAT to sleep???)
The screen was so cool here again!! It obviously showed Jenna's selfie with the house (which I want printed to hang on my wall tbh) and then at the end it was full of fire that changed its colour and all of that was so fitting for the colour scheme!! The entire set design is just so incredible.
Also, Brooke is eating a banana when Chloe calls her and when she tells her about the fire Eloise just yeets it across the entire stage
They all looked like they were having so much fun!!
Back to Jeremy: For the scene with Mr Heere, Scott was switching back to total asshole mode... Internally I was like "Uhh that little shit" but yeah, great acting!!
I LOVE the pants song! It's so underappreciated!
The "You're burning incense" line got a lot of laughs
"Say it like you're in the army!"
"NO, SERGEANT, SIR!!!" *salutes*
Loved that
Pitiful Children was actually SO intimidating!! The use of the screen here and in The Play was almost overwhelming but like in a good way, I really felt the seriousness of the situation.
Again great acting skills from Scott and Stewart. Jeremy was so torn between giving in and knowing that it's wrong and the Squip really felt humanly evil at this point.
Renée Lamb's riff!! Omg! She did it very different than in the press videos but it sounded so cool!!
Also, I felt so bad for Jenna. Her "No one's ever asked me that before" really hit me.
"Michael makes an entrance!!!!!" was perfect, I love Blake!
The fight between Jeremy and Michael looked SO violent 😂 at one point towards the end Jeremy punched him and he was just lying there on the edge of the stage for some minutes and only woke up to join everyone screaming at the end.
I loved how everyone acted when they were squipped!! They were very obviously not themselves.
Especially Christine was acting very very differently. Her voice sounded completely different and you could see that Jeremy made his decision to give her the mountain dew red the second she opened her mouth.
Jake's "God I love me!" Was just really wholesome. He sounded so surprised about that.
They didn't have the "My Squip says I can go all the way to Broadway" :((( but I can live with that...
The part where the Squip “Died” was SO good!!! This was really the moment where the Squip felt very much like a human being. He was screaming and begging and sounded actually terrified. His acting here was absolutely incredible. I almost, almost felt bad for him a little.
Also, the projections were amazing, it looked like the screen shattered when the Squip died. 
Again, one thing that really bothered me: What kind of hospital doesn't have beds??? Jeremy and Rich were just sitting in wheelchairs which was fine but like... Why no bed???
I loved James' acting in this scene!!! He was a COMPLETELY different person and everyone noticed that right away. Even without the l lisp, you would have noticed simply by the way he was talking. James really did a great job with Rich!!
His "I'm totally bi now!!" Sounded so surprised and got a lot of applause.
Voices in my head is my favourite song and made me cry 😂
Christine's Squip is now Greta Thunberg!!!!
I loved how Jeremy was totally his old self again when he was talking to Christine. He was stammering and fidgeting with his hands a lot and only managed to bring out the "Bowling Alley performance art?" Because Christine kept encouraging him which was so cute. If there are somehow still people out there who think that their relationship is underdeveloped they should watch this version.
The kiss was so cute!! Miracle and Scott have amazing chemistry!
I really think that's all I have to say... It's a lot I'm sorry 😂😂😂 just had to write those thoughts down.. I hope it makes a little sense I was a bit sick in the last few days so excuse me if anything's worded in a weird way...
I loved it so so much and I'm so happy they got the well-deserved extension! I'm definitely going again sometime soon 😊😊
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cxgan · 5 years
Text
Blizzard (Like This)
SHIP: Cegan [Carl/Negan]
SUMMARY: S9 finale fix-it. Carl never died, Rick never got lost. Carl is stuck at Alexandria watching his siblings during the storm. Carl and Negan talk while everyone sleeps. 
WARNINGS: mild language, angst, fluff
W/C: 1,962
A/N: Idk where this came from because I haven’t had muse in awhile. Honestly this just started because I wanted a big old spoon chain with my babies. And of course wanted Carl alive, duh. THE FINALE WE DESERVED. Please let me know what you think. Comments > just likes and reblogs.
They had never had a blizzard like this. 
Sometimes it snowed, sure. An inch or two here or there during the winter months. But aside from bundling up and having a few more fires, there wasn't much else they needed to do. Maybe the climate was finally changing after all of these years without society barreling down on the world. Maybe they were due for another ice age. Whatever it was, Carl didn't like it. He especially didn't like it knowing that his dad and Michonne weren't home during it. That they were out helping the Kingdom get to Hilltop after the community had finally crumbled. It wasn't that he didn't care for them - of course he did - but being out in this bad of a storm wasnt a good idea for even the most hardened of warriors. 
And here he was. Stuck in the council hall doing nothing but trying to keep warm and watch over his siblings. He felt so... useless. Felt like he needed to get out there and do something. 
"Don't be a dumb ass, you know they're alright." A voice broke him from his thoughts and he looked up. Negan, sitting on the floor with his back pressed into a cot. Looking far too casual for how cold it was. 
"I'm not worried," he snapped from where he was sitting on a large mattress. 
"Yeah, 'n I'm Princess Diana," the former savior said with a snort, rubbing at his wrists where he had been handcuffed moments before. Carl had taken them off the second everyone else had fallen asleep. He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be around the love of his life when he wasn't behind bars (did he really just think love of his life? Gross.). Negan reached out with his foot and kicked at Carl's own boot, receiving a one eyed glare in return. "Seriously, they ain't stupid enough to stay out in this hell," he gestured to everything around them. "Yer pops probably chucked them all into some smelly ass old barn for the night. They'll be fine."
"I said I'm not worried," Carl snapped again. When Negan gave him a look he rolled his eye. "Whatever," he retorted before pulling his coat around himself further and resisting the urge to shiver. They had the fire, yeah, but it was still chilly. 
"Cold?" Negan asked.
"No, I'm warmer than I've ever been. Feel like I'm on a beach or something," he snarked, voice dripping with sarcasm. 
The older male simply chuckled at him. Carl didn't look over at him, but he heard him shift. "C'mere," he muttered. 
Carl looked up, surveyed the room around them. Everyone else had fallen asleep at least an hour ago. No one was really keeping watch with the storm going on outside. Only him and Negan were awake. He almost moved, shifted ever so slightly, but a warm, gloved hand that was pushed into his thigh almost slid off and he caught it right before it did. Half of RJ's body was pressed into his back, and Judith's hand (arms wrapped around her little brother) was resting on his thigh. He shook his head. "I can't leave them."
"Well then I'll come to you. That mattress looks a little warmer than this piece of shit," he gestured backwards to the cot. 
"You're sitting on the floor."
"Case in point, smart ass. Now go lay down while I make myself pretty." He watched the man move and stand up and Carl snorted, shaking his head as he himself stood up. He watched Negan for a moment, stand and flex his shoulders, stretch his arms. It probably felt good not to be confined to a tiny room with a shitty cot. His chest ached a bit at the fact that it had been almost eight years and the man was still locked behind bars. If only he had the balls to tell his dad how he really felt about the man things would be better. (Deep down, he knew his dad would be at least okay with it. He had to have caught on by now just how much time Carl spent with the prisoner, how much he did for him. Maybe they were both just hiding the truth from fear of losing one another. But Carl knew he'd never lose his dad.)
Negan caught him staring and lifted an eyebrow at him with a cocky smirk, causing Carl to shoot him an icy glare before turning around. He saw RJ shiver from loss of body contact and quickly moved to tuck the blankets on him up closer to his chin. He shifted Judith's hands to nestle further around the youngest boy and moved to the other side of the mattress. Well. Mattresses. It was a couple of them shoved together. 
He debated taking his boots off for comfort but decided to leave them on, figuring that was one of the main things keeping him warm. So he quickly lifted the thick wool blankets up and slid underneath them behind his sister. He stayed on his back while he got warm, not wanting to suck up against the young girl's back and leech off her body heat for his own benefit. 
He closed his eyes and let himself relax for a moment. Negan was right, as insufferable as his reminders were sometimes. His dad and Michonne were probably fine. They had survived this long; they knew what to do. He just needed to relax and take a few deep breaths. 
He was exhausted, after all. Spending the day wrangling a restless and cooped up RJ, making dinner, figuring out what the rest of them were going to do both during and after the storm. At least Judith was mature enough now to just sit in a corner and do homework while the rest of them worked. And he had to admit, her constant quips at Negan all day had been hilarious to witness. He heard the man mutter at one point that he hoped RJ left him alone when he got older, because 'two annoying Grimes children were enough to deal with on a daily basis'. Carl was proud. 
He felt movement to his left and opened his eye to see Negan spreading out his own coat on top of Judith and RJ. He bit his lip. "You don't..."
"Shut up, kid. They need it more than I do. And now I gotta hot little body to keep me warm all night, don't I?" he punctuated his words with a wink and Carl scoffed. 
"We're not doing anything next to my siblings, pervert. Now get under here before you freeze to death." He held the blankets up and Negan didn't have to be told twice, dipping down and scooting onto the mattress next to Carl. The boy turned on his side to face him, immediately wrapping his arm around his torso. Even with his other jacket and the stupid dark blue jumpsuit he was cold to the touch. He gazed up at the man, silhouetted by the fire in the dark. He had pulled on a beanie at some point in the last few minutes. 
"Why is it always about sex with you? Can't a man just wanna get his cuddle on and still appreciate the body he's cuddlin' with?" Negan quipped. 
"Always about sex? With me? You fuckin..." It took the man's low timbre of a laugh near his head to realize he was joking. Carl slugged him in the chest. "You're a dick," he muttered, sighing and laying his head on the man's shoulder. 
Negan finished his laugh and pressed a long kiss to Carl's forehead. "That's me." He stretched out and sighed, his body clearly not used to being on cushion. "Damn, you know how long it's been since I've been in a bed? Since we've..."
"Yeah," Carl muttered and cut him off, closing his eyes. It had been a very, very long time. Ages ago. He didn't want to think about that. Didn't want to think about just how long Negan had gone without normal human amenities during his sentence. Didn't want to think about how he hadn't begged Carl even once to try and convince his dad to let him out. Didn't try and get him to use their relationship for his own benefit. It just made Carl feel like an ass.
"Last time we were in a bed, yer dad slit my throat the next day. How fucked is that?" he said with a huff of laughter. Carl half-assed smacked him again. 
"Shut up. Don't you ever sleep? Just let me enjoy this."
"Alright, alright. Sorry, Sleeping Beauty." Another long kiss pressed to his forehead and Carl sighed in contentment. It had been a long time since they had been this close to each other. It felt almost wrong, despite the fact they had 'been together' for so long. Only inches apart by those fucking bars but god, sometimes it felt like miles. It felt good to be this close to him again.
Of course the man didn't actually shut up. "I know my dick was in yer mouth like, two days ago. But it feels weird holdin' you like this." And of course the man read his mind again like he always seemed to do. 
"It does," he agreed. He opened his eye and shifted upwards in the mans arms. Sighing, he pressed his forehead into the side of the man's head. "I'm gonna get you out of there for good soon." It was a statement. He was going to figure it out.  
"Don't worry about it, sugar. Got all I need down there. Bed, books, food. Judy visits, I got you - " 
"I'm serious."
For once, Negan didn't say anything. Didn't keep prattling on about how great his life was behind bars because they both knew he only ever did it to try and make Carl feel better. But Carl also hadn't ever made any sort of pledge to try and get him out before. Let alone soon. So instead of saying something, he heard the man swallow and then move to catch his lips in his own. It caught Carl off guard but he kissed him back with no less fury, only pulling back when it started to get a little too deep. 
Nothing else was said and Carl sighed, beat from the day, and slid back down to his normal height next to the man. Only instead of staying facing him he turned around. Thankfully Negan took the hint and turned with him until his back was flush up against the older man's chest, arms wrapped around the boy. Carl kept one hand clutched around the arms around him and scooted forward so Judith's back was to his chest, the fibers of her beanie tickling at his nose. 
"I love you, Carl." It wasn't something they said very often, which was odd considering how much Carl's family said it to each other. Maybe him and Negan were afraid of it, because whenever they did say it it was usually whispered in the dark in the middle of the night. And it was typically Carl that said it first. So Negan's soft admission caught him a bit off guard and he stared ahead of their little spooning chain, squeezing the former saviors hand a little tighter and biting his lip. 
"I love you too, idiot. Now go to sleep before I punch you there," he whispered, fearful anything louder would wake his incredibly light sleeper sister awake. 
Negan's chuckle rumbled against his back as the man buried his face into Carl's hair. "Whatever you want, baby boy."
He'd talk to his dad the second he got back. It was time.
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obsidianshadow · 5 years
Text
I should really start posting this stuff to ao3 but I’m shy so my Elder Scrolls one-shots will go here rip...idk it’s m/m and about my Dragonborn and his crush on that Bosmer archer in Riverwood lmao...
   “Good work today, men, I appreciate your help. You’re free to go,” the Nord lumberjack, Hod, said. He shut down the mill for the day, checking the machines to make sure that they were still in working order. It was past noon, but the sun still shone bright in the sky, a welcome sight after the long winter.
   “See you tomorrow, Hod,” the Bosmer standing next to me said cheerfully. I said nothing, but nodded at Hod. My companion and I left the mill, heading towards the inn for a much-needed drink.
   “You’re learning fast, Kelus. If you continue like this, Hod might want to keep you around.”
   “Faendal, that’s ridiculous. You know that I have to leave for High Hrothgar eventually.”
I opened the door to the inn for Faendal, and he slipped by me, continuing to talk. 
   “What, is Riverwood not good enough for you? Just because you get a summons from some old guys who live on a mountain doesn’t mean you have to answer it right away,” Faendal gesticulated. 
   I rolled my eyes, walking up to the inn’s counter, where Orgnar kept his usual watch over the inn. 
   “A mead, please.”
   Faendal paused his line of thought briefly and ordered an ale. We paid Orgnar and found a table to set our drinks.
   “I do have to see what those ‘old guys,’ as you call them, are up to. They shouted loud enough for all of Tamriel to hear, so it must be important.”
   The Bosmer, Faendal, scoffed, drinking from his tankard. He was a restless little mer, never settling down. Talk of High Hrothgar made him very anxious; the mountain filled him with dread, as he once confided to me. 
   “I-I’ve heard things. Terrible things about that mountain. There’s frost trolls, some of them as big as bears. I’ve killed a bear before, but you’ve never seen a grizzly in the wild,” Faendal said, his dark eyes looking at me worriedly.
   I placed my hand on his shoulder, and Faendal tensed. 
   “Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’ve survived an execution and a dragon attack. It would take something much scarier than a frost troll to take me down.”
   “Kelus, you can’t go up there alone.”
   I hummed, drinking my mead and thinking. “Do you have any suggestions as to who I should take with me?”
   “I-” Faendal went quiet, which meant that something was wrong; the mer never stopped talking.
   I contemplated the Faendal. His knuckles were as white as his hair from gripping his tankard. He kept his hair tied in a neat ponytail to keep it out of the way while hunting or working at the mill. 
   Faendal’s brow furrowed when I asked the question. He always had a look in his eyes, as if something was constantly on his mind.
    Faendal downed the rest of his drink, then stood up from the table. “Alright, I’ll be heading over to Camilla’s, if you need me.”
   I didn’t stop him from leaving. I knew from experience that he often needed to walk away and think things through before speaking his mind.
   I stared at my own empty tankard, placing it on the table before walking out of the inn. I went down the porch stairs and turned left onto the dirt road that went through the village. 
   It was finally warm enough that I could cross the stream safely without slipping on the icy rocks. Falling into the cold water in the middle of winter was a guaranteed way to lose a few extremities. 
   I ended up on the other side of the river and sat by a rotting tree stump. Faendal and I usually rested here on our breaks, or whenever we had time to relax. Not that we spent much time laying about. I sighed, falling on my back, into the grass.
   My journey so far hadn’t been an easy one, so I was grateful for the time that I did have to relax. I looked up; the sky was so blue, you could almost see forever. The expanse reminded me that I was insignificant, although recently people have been telling me otherwise.
   I’m the Dragonborn. I don’t even know what that means. Nowadays, I know very little about anything. 
   I have many questions, and answers for none of them. Realistically, I would have headed to High Hrothgar several months ago, but a certain archery instructor keeps convincing me to stay. And honestly? I fear that I don’t have the courage to go.
   When I arrived in Riverwood, the townsfolk mentioned in passing that Faendal would make an excellent traveling companion. However, I’ve hinted to him that he’s free to come along, but he appears just as reluctant as I to set out.
   I understand his reluctance; the poor mer is hopelessly infatuated with a lovely Imperial woman, Camilla. He and Sven, the town’s bard, have been fighting over her for ages. My recent appearance didn’t help matters, either.
   Sven tried to pick a fight with me after he saw me talking with Camilla at the Riverwood Trader. 
   She was the second friendly face I had encountered after Ralof, and I'll admit that her attention made me feel...fluttery. On second thought, I'm glad that I didn't get involved in Sven and Faendal's squabble. 
   Camilla's very pretty, but I had a suspicion that she was enjoying leading these two around in circles. I would only add to the confusion if I decided to pursue her. 
   I digress; she was the one who ultimately pointed me to Faendal. 
   Faendal. I would be lying if I didn't say that he puzzled me. He was kind and generous without ulterior motive; both rare qualities in these harsh lands.
   The afternoon I met him, he bought us both a meal at the inn. He agreed to teach me what he knew about archery, all without accepting payment. Hell, I was going to book another nights’ stay at the Sleeping Giant, but then he offered to have me stay the night at his house.
   I swallowed a lump in my throat. I couldn’t ignore the glances and whispers of the other occupants at the inn. 
   They saw Faendal diverting his focus from Camilla for a brief moment, and wondered why I grabbed his attention. 
   At least, until they learned that I was the Dragonborn.
   Ever since arriving here, there have been non-stop questions, which was to be expected. The villagers quieted down after a few days, to my relief. Whiterun’s occupants wouldn’t leave me alone.
   People would occasionally sidle up to me in taverns and ask polite questions about my adventures. It always seemed to take a turn, however, when an “accidental” brush of the hand became more persistent, ending up on my knee or thigh. I wasn’t sure what to think of womens’ (and some mens’) newfound interest in me.
   From what little I can currently recall of my past, I’ve never felt uncomfortable with men flirting with me. It didn’t happen often, because from what I can remember, I was a skinny youth, all angles and large ears.
    I grew into them, but during that time I wasn’t exactly appealing to anyone. I kept to myself for the most part.
   My thoughts led back to Faendal again. I stayed the night at his house and mentioned that I wouldn’t mind sleeping on the floor.
    He grew flustered when I suggested that, and he invited me to join him in his bed. 
   I was suspicious that he harbored some ulterior motive, because nobody was that friendly to someone he just met. Or...that open. He told me his life story, I think to make up for asking mine earlier that afternoon. 
   The night passed and he hadn’t tried to touch me, with the exception of a comforting caress on my arm. Why did he care so much? I was just a stranger, passing through.
   We fell asleep, and I awoke the next morning with Faendal closer to me than he was the night before. He didn’t touch me, but I backed away before he could. 
   He reached out his arms, hands pawing the bed, as if seeking me out. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched his slumbering form. His ears flickered and he murmured restlessly.
   It took months for me to realize that if Faendal had taken me to bed with him, I wouldn’t have been opposed. 
   Maybe past me would have harbored some sentiment, some romantic ideals about how one should only be intimate with someone you love, but I don’t know that mer anymore.
   Faendal was already spoken for, anyway.
   He still went to visit Camilla after his shift at the mill ended, which didn’t bother me because I had time to myself for awhile. But lately, his visits to Camilla were becoming less frequent. He only visited her when something of importance was on his mind, like now.
   Otherwise, he spent most of his time with me. Faendal...having his attention was a precious commodity. He got along with almost everyone in the village and had many acquaintances.
    As for me, I was more reserved and Faendal immediately picked up on that. 
   He made sure that I was included in gatherings and invited me to join him on hunts. He never left me alone for more than a few hours, because once you’ve done all of your work for the day, there’s not much to do. I’ve read all of the books on his shelf at least twice now. 
   I ran a hand over my face. I could wax poetic about all of the nice things he’s done for me, and still not answer the questions I’ve turned over repeatedly in my mind. Was he doing these things because he saw me as more than a friend? 
   How would I respond if that was, indeed, the case? 
   Faendal didn’t seem to mind that I shared a bed with him. Or, er, Camilla. He always managed to subtly alert me that he would be spending some time with her, so I never walked in on them. Knowing Camilla, she’d probably ask me to join in.
   My face heated up. Not that I would know what I was doing. One could say that I was uninterested in seeking out a partner as a younger mer. Loving contact with another being was rare for me, if it ever happened at all. 
   I wrinkled my nose. It’s very unlikely that I’d ever have the chance to fall in love, and I had made peace with that.
   Still, every time Faendal patted my shoulder, I couldn’t help but shiver. As of late, when he was telling one of his ridiculous stories, I didn't hear the words he was saying. 
   All I saw was the flash of his teeth, the curve of his neck as he threw his head back to laugh at a comment I had made. Lately I've taken notice of his full lips and expressive eyes, some of his most defining features, after that distinctive ponytail.
   If I had told someone these thoughts out loud, they would say that I was the interested party, not Faendal, but from watching him with Camilla, I wasn't sure. Whenever he was around Camilla, he talked more than usual. It's almost as if he had to compensate for any awkward silences.
   The only other person I've seen him acting like that with is...me. 
   Wishful thinking wasn't going to get me anywhere. I didn't even know what I wanted. I just don’t know myself anymore.
   I must have dozed off, because I opened my eyes and saw a Bosmer with soft, dark eyes crouched over me.
   I gasped, rolling away and immediately getting to my feet. I didn’t recognize Faendal at first, and only saw him as the enemy.
   I was unsure as to why I had such a violent reaction, but something told me that at one point, it was unsafe for me to be on my back. I could vaguely remember split knuckles and a broken nose, which explained its crookedness.
   “Kelus? Everything alright, my friend?” Faendal asked, worried.
  “Y-yeah. I didn’t expect you there.” I rubbed my neck. “I don’t even remember dozing off,” I said, grinning.
   Another thing: being around Faendal meant that I smiled a lot more easily and often. He was quick with a joke, and he helped me lighten up when thinking about Dragonborn business sent me into a gloomy spiral.
   Faendal, my first friend, my armor against a world that wants to see me fail. My protector, and I’m ever grateful for his generosity. 
   Realizing that he was still there, I spoke, “Camilla treating you well?” I sat down in the grass again.
   Faendal joined me, crossing his legs. He eyed me, and his brow raised devilishly. “More than you could ever know.”
   As he said that, my heart sank, which surprised me. I should be happy for him, that his lady love returned his feelings. Camilla’s a kind enough lady, although I think that she’s a little much for Faendal to handle. That might be why he liked her.
   A question formed at the back of my mind: would he consider me too much to handle?
   “Glad to hear it. Is Sven still on your tail?”
   “He won’t be for long, if Camilla has any say. Actually, it’s her decision, ultimately. She’d just better pick me,” he said, giving me a winning smile.
   I laughed. “And if she doesn’t? There are other women, you know,” I said, mentally adding, “and men.” 
   “Nah. We’re going to get married and have many children together.”
   “Faendal, what if she doesn’t want children? You can’t exactly fit more than two people in your house, anyway,” I said.
   Faendal’s ears burned. “We can move,” he said indignantly. His sulky expression was rather endearing, in a way.
   “If you wish, I’m not stopping you,” I said. 
   Faendal eyed me curiously, and scooted closer. “Say, Dragonborn, you’ve never mentioned leaving someone special behind when you came to Skyrim. Would you say you’re...unattached?”
   My heart leapt. “That’s correct. At least, I believe so. I don’t remember much about my youth. It was very, er, forgettable. I kept mostly to myself, honestly.”
   I neglected to mention that according to the guards, before they arrested me at the border, I had taken a nasty magical attack to the head. The group I was traveling with fought against the guards, resisting arrest for smuggling rare books and other goods into Skyrim. 
   Their mage mis-timed an attack and hit me instead of an attacking guard. My memory of the past was practically non-existent; I assume that the attack had scrambled my memories somehow, but I didn’t want to worry Faendal. I already had enough problems that he had been willing to help me with.
   “Ah. Well, anyone would be lucky to have you,” he said. Faendal stopped talking and absentmindedly tore blades of grass out of the ground.
   “Faendal?” I didn’t recognize his tone of voice. He sounded...wistful, almost?
   “Hm? Oh! I don’t know where I was going with that, sorry,” Faendal said. He held a handful of grass in his hand and smirked.
   Faendal deposited the handful of torn grass into my lap, and I protested, glaring at him.
   “You’re walking a fine line, my friend,” I said, plucking blades of grass from the ground. I sprinkled them over his head, and he squawked in mock anger.
   “You want to fight? It sounds like you’re asking for a fight,” he said, standing up, fists raised.
   I jumped to my feet, humoring him. “I didn’t know that you could spar,” I said.
   “The better question, can you?” Faendal teased.
   “Swing first, and you’ll see,” I said.
   Faendal hit me, his fist connecting with my shoulder. My arm felt numb, but I could still move it.
   “Lucky hit,” I said, swinging back at him. I aimed a punch at his ribs, and he fell back, coughing.
   He recovered quickly and dodged subsequent punches, getting some solid punches in on my torso and chest. His swings were wild, while mine hit hard.
   This wasn’t my first fistfight, if the vague memories were to be believed. My mind was elsewhere, and Faendal used that to his advantage.
   Faendal buffeted me with punches to my stomach, and I stumbled backwards, tripping over a tree root.  
   Faendal grabbed at the front of my shirt to prevent my fall, but I pulled him down with me. We landed in a heap, Faendal sprawled across me, stunned.
   “Oof,” I said, winded. Faendal appeared scrawny, but he was surprisingly heavy.
   He sat up, still straddling me, and pinned my arms over my head. My pulse raced, lips parted slightly in shock.
   “We’ll call that a draw, although I definitely won,” he said, holding me down a heartbeat longer than necessary. He lightly tapped me on the nose, and I flushed imperceptibly.
   Faendal clambered off me, leaving me laying limply in the grass. I blinked, processing what had just happened.
   “Hey, wait!” I said, scrambling to my feet after him. “We should have a rematch!”
   Faendal had made indications that he was going to head home, walking down the dirt path. He turned, hands clasped casually behind his head. “Maybe one day,” he said, beaming.
   I didn’t follow him. Instead, I watched as he left to go home. Faendal most likely saw me as a friend, and nothing more. 
   Had someone asked me what made me realize I was harboring affections for my best friend, my closest companion, this moment would stand out in my mind.
   I may not ever have the chance to fall in love, but, if Faendal decided to come along with me on my journey, that would be enough. 
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akiscribbles-blog · 7 years
Text
A New Beginning
-
Pairing: Kim Heechul x Reader (kinda)
Genre: Angst with a happy ending
Request: “ Hello! I'd like to request for heechul angst with a happy ending. You are so used to him flirting in knowing brothers that it normally doesn't affect you. When he comes home after shooting he reassures you it's just work. But when Ahn So Hee came on the show, you knew something was different. Heechul has liked her for 10 years and you saw how awkward he was acting. Time passes and they get closer. You know Heechul never initiates a breakup (fact!), so you do instead. Idk how but happy end pls! “ - Anon
Word Count: 2835
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A/N: I have no idea what this is. It’s not as angsty as I’d like it to be, but somehow I did end it kinda happily. It’s just a big mess. I hope you enjoy it regardless.
It was normal. He would flirt with all the female guests in Knowing Brothers, you knew this. It was just how he acted, and you were fine with it. No matter how pretty the guest was, you knew Heechul loved you. Or so you thought.
    You knew this time it was different. Heechul was being more awkward than usual, shyer even. Yes, Kim Heechul, shy? It must have been because of someone special.
     “Show your heart”, he would say to that one particular guest and then look at Kyunghoon like an embarrassed little boy. He had never done that before with anyone else, not even you. As you knew, Heechul would be obvious with his flirting. He would often in the end of the day, if he could, show you all the affection you wanted.
   “Stop worrying”, he once said. “You know I want only you.”
   You wanted to believe him, but you knew it wasn’t the same this time. It wasn’t just one pretty girl, it was Heechul’s crush of ten years. How could you not feel like it was different?
   You didn’t want to think, but you knew he had been odd ever since he had done that episode. You brushed it off at first, but the moment he didn’t seem to have much time for you anymore, and it wasn’t just because of him being busy with touring and MC:ing. You could feel it.
   Now, you’ve had enough. You knew he would never do it, so you had to do it yourself.
   You two were at a silent little restaurant. You asked him there with you, feeling it’d be the best place to talk. He sat across you, looking down at his phone. You stared at him, your food untouched.
   “Heechul”, you finally opened your mouth. “We need to talk.”
   He raised his eyes to you, worry showing all over his face. “About?”
   “I think…” You had to pause to gather yourself. Heechul stared at you, tilting his head to the side a little. You took a deep breath. “I think we should break up.”
   “You are joking?” his voice got slightly angrier.
   “Do I look like I’m joking?”
   Heechul placed his phone on the table, staring at you with fire in his eyes. “Just like that? After all this time?”
   You stayed quiet, slowly looking down.
   “Why?” He slammed his hand on the table when you didn’t respond. “Answer me!”
   You were startled by him, taking deep breath trying not to cry. “Because you are so close with-“ Your voice cracked. You couldn’t even say her name out loud.
   “Who?”
   “You know who”, this time your voice was bitter. “Your crush.”
    Heechul then realized who you were talking about, and he clenched his hand into a fist.
   “Are you kidding me?” he asked. “You want to break up, because I have a crush?”
   “I just can’t take it, Heechul!” You let yourself go, saying everything you had bottled up inside you. “Do you understand how hard it was to look at you being so… embarrassed in front of her? So shy and flustered?”
   “You have a crush on Leeteuk, and you don’t see me getting mad about it”, Heechul tried to remind you.
   “That’s different! I don’t get all flustered when I see him!”
   Heechul sighed. “So you want to break up”, he said without any emotion in his voice. “Fine. I’m not going to stop you.”
   That was your last straw. You stood up from your seat, took your walled and threw some money onto the table to pay for your food you didn’t even eat.
   “I’m not a-“ Heechul tried to speak but you interrupted him.
   “I’ll get all of my stuff from your place next week. Goodbye Heechul.” And so, you turned around, walking out of the restaurant.
   You didn’t look back as you walked as far away from the building as possible, though deep down you wished you would hear Heechul’s voice trying to call you back, but that didn’t happen. You knew it wouldn’t happen. He has never fought for a girl who wants to break up with him. Why would you be an exception?
   You stopped, leaning against the nearest wall as you collapsed to the ground. You let yourself cry openly, not caring about the other people walking by. You had never thought this day would come, and especially not like this.
   Now what?
-
You finally dragged yourself up from the spot, but the tears never stopped. You didn’t know where else to go, but to your friend’s place. He had been there for you. You knew he would take you in.
   As you had arrived to his apartment, you knocked on the door and sure enough, he opened the door.
   “Kyunghoon...” you spoke silently.
   “Hi, sweetie.” Kyunghoon narrowed his eyes. “Are you okay? Have you been crying?”
   “We broke up”, was all you said.
   He understood right away and took you to his embrace, patting your back you softly cried into his shoulder.
   “I’m so sorry, sweetheart...”
   “I want him back”, you sobbed. “I love him so much...”
   Kyunghoon squeezed you tightly in his arms. “I know dear... I know...”
-
It had been a month or two, and you hadn’t seen Heechul at all after the break up. You asked Kyunghoon to get all your stuff from Heechul’s apartment, as you were still too sad to see him. You also had distanced yourself from everyone from Super Junior, just in case.
   The first weeks were the hardest. You would watch old episodes of Knowing Brothers, then funny videos of Heechul. You didn’t know why. It didn’t help your broken heart at all. You even logged off from most social medias, so you wouldn’t see any news of him.
   Then after crying for a month and losing a lot of weight, because you couldn’t eat properly, you finally went out with Kyunghoon. He was a big help in your recovery. He led you stay in as long as you wanted as well. He didn’t even tell Heechul you were living with him for now.
   “How long are you going to stay away from social media?” Kyunghoon asked as you were watching TV on his couch, blanket wrapped around you.
   “Until I’m ready”, you answered while not even looking at your friend.
   Kyunghoon sighed and sat next to you. “You can’t avoid him forever.”
   “Watch me.”
   “Look, I’m friends with him and you. He keeps asking about you-”
   “Then you tell him that I am fine and I am okay”, you interrupted your friend.
   “Are you really, though?” he asked. “You still cry randomly while doing normal things.”
   “Because they remind me of him”, you spoke, swallowing so your voice wouldn’t crack. “You know it would kill me all over again if I saw anything of him.”
   Kyunghoon sighed, but knew that you had your own ways to recover. “Okay then. I just want you to be happy again.”
   You looked over at your friend, forcing a smile on your face. “Don’t worry, I will be!”
   Kyunghoon nodded, standing up to do something else.
   You looked at the TV again, then took your phone out of your pocket. You went to your gallery, looking at pictures. Pictures of him. He didn’t want to take pictures of you two, since he was so careful about his dating life. But the pictures you were looking at, you had taken.
   Memories came in with each picture. It all came back to you, all the love you still had for him, came pouring in. You bit your lip as tears formed. You didn’t want to worry Kyunghoon, so you tried to sob as silently as possible.
   You were not okay. Not yet.
-
Months had went by from the break up, and here you were. Feeling a little better, but admittedly your heart was still broken. Heechul was the person you loved so much, you could’ve never seen yourself leaving him. It didn’t help to think that maybe he felt similarly to you, considering how long you had dated. Almost a year. This day, in fact, would have been your one-year anniversary.
   You were outside shopping, thinking you should just treat the day like normal. Well you didn’t, since you had already bought things you didn’t need but just really wanted, because you needed to treat yourself.
   You were at some random store, looking at anything and everything. You already had your hands full of paper bags, but it wouldn’t hurt to buy something else, right?
   Suddenly, your attention was caught by someone saying your name. You turned around, seeing a man wearing a mouth mask. Though you could recognize those eyes anywhere.
   “Heechul?” Your heart started pounding. All those feelings you had for him that you thought had went away, came back.
  “Hi”, he said while his voice was muffled because of the mask. He took it off and you could see his whole face. “How have you been?”
   “You know, I’ve survived”, you answered. “How about you?”
   “Well, good”, he said while scratching his head.
   “So, are you and-?”
   “No, we aren’t”, Heechul knew right away what you wanted to ask. “Not yet, anyway.”
   You sighed, biting your bottom lip.
   “How about you and Kyunghoon?” he suddenly asked you, sounding maybe somewhat jealous.
   “What about us?” you asked innocently.
   “I was surprised when it was him I saw getting your stuff and not, you know, you”, he said a little bitterly.
   “Are you jealous?” You raised your eyebrow.
   “No”, he spoke quickly. “Just odd you would ask a man get your stuff from your ex…”
   You shook your head. “You know me and Kyunghoon have been friends even before I started dating you. He is the reason you and I met in the first place.”
   “Oh yes I remember”, Heechul nodded to himself. “I thought you were really cute, so I had to ask you out.”
   “It has been over a year”, you sighed. “Remember what day today is?”
   Heechul slowly nodded. “Yes I do…”
   You then search something from one of the shopping bags. A shirt with an anime girl on it. Why had you even bought it? You didn’t know. You took it out and gave it to Heechul.
   “There. I think that’s more your style, plus it’s your size”, you spoke as he examined the shirt. “Happy anniversary…”
   “I love it”, he said, smiling to you. “Thank you.”
   You smiled back. You two stood there, without speaking or looking at each other for a moment. You didn’t really know what to say.
   “I’ve missed you”, you then finally admitted. “It has been hell not being able to talk to you… When I was being really heartbroken, I wanted to call you and talk about it so badly…”
   He sighed but didn’t speak, looking down to his feet.
   “Heechul, do you think we could be friends?” You looked up at him, hope shining in your eyes.
   He raised his brow. “Are you serious?”
   “I am. I miss your company, your jokes, your teasing. My life is empty without you”, you spoke your heart out. “Maybe our relationship didn’t work, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends.”
   He thought for a moment, letting out a deep sigh. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I mean, I miss your company too…”
   You smiled wide, wrapping your arms around his middle for a hug. It was nothing but a friendly embrace, and Heechul patted your back comfortably.
   You let go, looking at him. It seemed like your heart was whole again. You were happy again. Heechul smiled back, no doubt feeling the same.
   “Now come on, since you’re here, we might as well shop together!”
   “Why are you shopping in the first place though?” Heechul asked.
   “Because I broke up with someone and it’s our anniversary day today, so I need to treat myself!” you talked like he wasn’t being the ex.
   Heechul chuckled. “Sounds good. I also got dumbed quite recently, so I might need the shopping too.”
   “Then let’s go”, you offered your arm for him, and he hooked his with yours. “We both need to treat ourselves. Then in the end we could hang out and watch dramas!”
   “Ew, no”, he huffed.
   You glared at him, which made him tense up a little.
   “Fine… But nothing too cheesy or I will throw up.”
   “You’re such a drama king”, you stopped yourself. “No, drama queen.”
   “Yah!”
   You chuckled. “You’re the prettiest girl in the world”, you mocked him.
   Heechul smirked. “Damn right. The prettiest of them all!”
   “Hey! I was trying to tease you!”
   “Well you can’t tease me, when you’re just stating facts”, he teased back.
   You were not amused. “You know what else is a fact? You’re an idiot.”
   He shot you a playful glare. You only chuckled at him. He shook his head, then took his phone from his pocket. He held it up, and you could see from the screen that he was taking a selfie.
   “What are you doing?” you asked.
   “Taking a picture, come on get closer to me so you fit the frame!” He tried to get near you, holding the phone and then the shirt you gave him.
   You decided to humor him and posed with him, smiling to the camera. He snapped a picture and then did something else with the phone.
   “You never wanted to take pictures with me…” you mumbled, but he still heard you.
   “That was when you were my girlfriend”, he spoke quickly. “But now you’re my friend.”
   You smiled at him. It was going to be okay.
-
You had done shopping and now were at his place, having all kinds of things to eat and a bottle of soju you shared. You had watched a few dramas, and Heechul commented on them, being annoying. He was wearing the shirt you gave him, and honestly it fit him better than it would have fitted you.
   He was trying to take another selfie. You shook your head as he was trying to get the best ankle for a good minute. Then he finally snapped the picture and nodded approvingly.
   “Handsome”, he said while looking at the picture.
   “I’ll be the judge of that”, you said and took the phone from him. “You look very silly.”
   “You’re just jealous you’re not as pretty”, he said while taking his phone back and sticking his tongue out at you.
   You shook your head, going back to the last drama of the night. Heechul was on his phone, until he yawned and laid on the couch. You let him do his thing while you watched the rest of the drama, feeling blessed as he didn’t seem to comment on anything.
   The movie ended soon, and the couple in it broke up in the end. You wiped your tears as you had felt very emotional by the movie. You sniffled lightly as the credits rolled. Looking over to Heechul, to take in his teasing, you were surprised when you saw him all tucked next to you on the couch. He was snoring lightly, and honestly looked adorable.
   You smiled gently, taking his jacket and placing it on top of him. He moved in his sleep and pulled the jacked more on him.
   “You idiot”, you chuckled, shaking your head.
   You took your phone to take a picture of him, so you could tease him the next day. But you noticed you had some notifications that said Heechul had posted some pictures on Instagram, tagging you in them. You raised your brow, looking at the app.
   You saw the first picture that was him wearing the shirt with a caption. “It fits me perfectly! I can’t believe she thought she could wear it”, with a bunch of emojis.
   The second picture was from earlier, when you were in the selfie with him. The caption said: “Met my friend randomly and now we’re shopping! She has a great taste as you can see. She bought the shirt.”
   You let out a soft chuckle. It felt much better now that you two could openly take pictures and talk about each other. You wondered, maybe it was meant to be this way.
   You stood up and turned around, pointing the phone at the sleeping beauty to take picture of him. Then you went to Instagarm and uploaded the picture there with a caption. “He fell asleep while we were watching dramas. Lame.”
   You send the picture with a smile on your face. He was so going to say something about it after he woke up. You walked to him, watching his calm sleeping face for a few seconds. You admittedly wanted to hug him or kiss his cheek, but decided against it. You were okay with how things were going to be from now on.
   “Heechul?” you tried to get his attention. He mumbled something in his sleep. You shook your head, but kept your smile.
   “Goodnight, my new friend~.”
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