#he doesnt save anyone he just opens up opportunities for them to save themselves

[firelise]

Stop feeding that dog. It's just going to keep back, expecting more. It just gives her hope. // [News: Baba Shakti today held a public prayer for victims of the ongoing land disputes, advocating that violence is never the answer.]

MONKEY MAN (2024)

[syubub]

What Catches Their Eye/ What Attracts BTS?

Well well well, look who is back. I thought this was a fun one. I think of this more as what draws them/ catches their eye/ intrigues them instead of how to attract them. Here you go! More readings coming soon I promise for real! The soulmate reading is the one I'm working on right now.

Seokjin

Okay mister. You know those people that just look, smell and feel rich? That. That's what catches his eye. It's something that catches him off guard. The icy bitch vibes is strong with this one. On a more human level, what catches his eye is people who look like they know what they are doing. People that walk with a purpose. People that hold their cards close. The protection card threw me through a little loop but it does make some sense. Someone who protects themself, fights for themself and does it in a graceful way. People who are put together and and exude a... soft power... are hard to miss for him. Low key the sexual tension is thiccccc. I feel like he is drawn to the sleek business type that take no shit or the sweet, light, fun type that are probably super hardcore fuckers wrapped in a suprising pink bow.

Yoongi

No suprise. Yoongi is drawn to woke ass people that are out there shaking shit up and celebrating with friends. I think that Yoon has a fascination with extroverts. Like, he doesn't understand how the hell they have so much energy? Why would they willingly be in public, around people no less, when they could just be at home? He is drawn to people that arent afraid of being themselves. He sees people who wear what they want, say what they want, act how they want as people who are protesting if it's out of the norm. Does that make sense? Like, for example, seeing a buff dude wearing a feminine outfit he'd be like, "Hell yeah, fuck the man. Stay safe tho." You know? Revolutionary people really tickle his fancy. I can see him also being drawn to people with a huge ass presence. Like the people you meet or see and you can help but feel like they are important or something out of this world.

"People just being their true selves"

Fuck yeah, Yoon

Hoseok

Seok! Are you opening up to me or smth? Okay. Also no suprise here. Free spirits. Free spirits. Free spirits. Think, the cool world traveler that lived with monks, saved an endangered species, solved world hunger and somehow made it home for dinner. People full of vast knowledge/ knowledge that he doesnt have really intrigues him. People who are always on the go or are just really physically active ticke his fancy. People who dance to nothing just to show the joy in their hearts. Hypemen, wingmen, people who are kind and want to uplift others but arent afraid to be honest even at the expense of feelings. Straight up Sagittarius vibes. People who dress as crazy and confident as he does. Confidence is sexy for him. People who are the shit, and know they are the shit. People with a good heart

Namjoon

Oki Joon. He is attracted to hard work. I feel like he probably has a soft spot for people in a hard situation. I think shyness and modesty really catch his eye too. Think sexy but classy and not at all showy. I that would probably make him do a little double take because he works in an industry where theres so much flash and sexy outfits and such (don't get me wrong, Joon is def into that too) that something modest like skinny jeans and a tshirt are a breath of fresh air? Like I think someone with a similar style to him would catch his eyes. Definitely clean and put together. People who have good vibes. Joon has 0 time for bullshit so good intentions, good vibes and go with the flow but stand up for what you believe in. People who go after opportunity given to them.

Jimin

Chim chim likes balance and equality. He is drawn to people who treat him or see him as equal. He likes the idea of being BTS Jimin but having that bleed over into Park Jimin is hard for him sometimes. People who are emotionally intune. Think kind of flashy but in a confidence sort of way. He is drawn to people who make their own path and follow their heart. He loves confidence and good deeds. He likes the kind that are done softly and out of the goodness of your heart. I think he just feels good when other people are vibin and livin life. I think tasteful bright colors draw him in? Like a little flash of something tasteful and fashionable.

Taehyung

TAE TAE LOVES HAPPY PEOPLE. It almost seems like there is a childlike innocence to this? Like Tae must be an angel or some shit. He has an INCREDIBLE 6th sense for people. He can sniff out bad intentions from a mile away. This boy here loves everyone (as long as they don't suck) I feel like eclectic people tend to pique his interest most. Ugh soft tae time, this man would be the type of friend that would sit with you for hours hearing you talk about some obscure thing you care about and he would ask so many questions because he cares that you love it and wants to be a part of things you love. Ugh. Listen, I guarantee that whoever tae ends up with in the romantic sphere will be amazingly good for him. Tae understands people very well and he is incredibly... picky?... Anyone in this mans life is bound to have a good heart. Pls love him omg. (Also, Tae definitely has the unfortunate double edged sword of being a soft baby angel. He is a big boy and can pick his people just fine. If theres lessons he needs to learn, they will find him and he will learn from them. This boy has big shit in the works on a soul level)

Jungkook

PASSIONATE PEOPLE. Jk is drawn to people who have a healthy childish personality. He is drawn to people who are on their path and working their ass off for their goals. People who are light and fun but also have a strong determination make jk feel empowered. People who wear street fashion or athleisure strike his fancy. Trendy boy is trendy. I feel like he is still stuck in the mentality of a teenager? Like his view on friends is pretty wholesome and he is drawn to people that just mess around and have a good time like riding bikes around, playing soccer, making up your own game or playing tag or groundies. Stuff like that. Hes drawn to similar to him.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[chinesegal]

In defence of Boa Hancock, again

To preface: today I encountered an ask with a response so bad it made me boil with anger:

the op hates Hancock’s character, which is something I try to accept despite my personal feelings, however I do not believe its disrespectful to post this, its a public post on a social media forum and I don’t have enough followers that can make harassment campaigns possible.

So right now, I will refute their points bit by bit, each time copypasting their words into quotation marks, and my refutations below.

Their words:

“ Can you imagine how outraged the fandom would be, if they were cisswapped? For two seconds, let’s imagine a Luffyko & male!Boa: there would be oodles & oodles of posts about how he’s sexually harassing Luffyko, how No means No, & breaking down the fact that this character is not a good person by any means. That doesn’t happen though, because Boa’s a woman & Luffy’s a 17 yr old in this screenshot. “

Nope. Sanji turned to stone when seeing Shirahoshi because of the sheer lust he was feeling at the time, and then went on acting servile and adoring around her, serving her tea because she’s a woman/girl he’s attracted to, like many:

And Shirahoshi is 16, Sanji was 21. Brook asked to see Shirahoshi’s panties, and asked this question to many other women. The fandom in general doesn’t seem to care, which is a problem. Their actions are creepy, but no one cares.

But what makes me truly angry is the one screenshot they try to use to prove that Boa’s predatory:

this one. “Luffy’s only 17 in this screenshot”, they say. 

“What’s the context for this image?”-you might ask. The answer: sure as fucking hell not Boa trying to seduce or take advantage of Luffy. Here, she is revealing the brand on her back that would forever mark her as property, as less than human for life. Its an eternal reminder to her of the years of abuse and trauma she went through as a child. She is definetely not being “seductive” or sexual here, and nudity isnt the same as being sexual, especially not in this context.

It enrages me that they try to portray this shot where Boa is opening up about her abuse and trauma as her trying to “sexually harassing” Luffy. 

they then goes on about how men can be raped and abused by women, which is true but Hancock has done absolutely nothing abusive to Luffy, not in the screenshot unless you count trying to kill him as “abuse”. 

“Bias that men can’t be abused influences do-Gooder purity warriors that try to claim Sanji’s a sexual predator”- they say, a quote I feel distasteful. I dont think Sanji’s a sexual predator but if you do like him and ignore his behavior towards girls younger than Luffy, then you are just as hypocritical.

“ There is no reason why a 29 yr old should be almost violently, definitely insistently pursuing a 17 yr old. It’s disgusting, it’s creepy, it’s gross. Her tragic backstory does not give her leeway either. “

Boa Hancock has never been “violent”, nor said or done anything inappropriate to Luffy. She fantasizes about being his wife sure, and the agegap is awkward, but she acts like a 12 year old girl experiencing her first crush. She’s so naive that she thinks Luffy’s hug means they are married. It is very likely, if not explicitly canon that she doesnt know how healthy adult relationships function because of her whole backstory. That is the reason it’s impossible for me to see her as predatory, not because of gender but because how innocent she actually is when it comes to sex and romance.

Luffy is also not a tactful person; he would tell her if her behavior creeps him out but never does, showing that Boa’s actions doesnt make him uncomfortable at all.

And yes, her backstory does explain a lot, and it is the entire reason I sympathize with her despite her actions, which aren’t even that bad when compared to other pirates.

They then claim that during the infiltration of Impel Down, Hancock “made everything about herself and how she is going to marry Luffy”, somehow proving that she’s “selfish” and “irredeemable”, then they claim “Boa Hancock is the same character archetype as other One Piece villains, just obsessed with her beauty and ability to exploit people for her own gain” and “she knows what she is doing is wrong, she brags about it even”.

This made me almost as angry as the use of the screenshot.

Boa fawns over Luffy during the Impel Down escape, but to say she isnt “selfless” enough despite the fact that she’s breaking into a maximum security prison where visitors like her have to be completely helpless, a place controlled by the very people who enslaved her when she was a child. 

A single word from Magellan, someone in the World Government, or the Celestial Dragons themselves and she would have been doomed. What if she was searched and the brand identifying her as a slave was discovered? What if the Celestial Dragons have long known that she is their former slave and the World Government has been waiting for an opportunity to catch her in a situation like this so they can take her back to Mariejois and “return” her to the Celestial Dragons? Those are real, valid, and terrifying concerns for someone in Hancock’s position, and yet she did it all anyway for Luffy.

Yes, she fantasized about Luffy loving her during the infiltration, but y’know, that is ridiculous to focus on when characters like Sanji rants about wanting to cook and dote on women the straw hats are trying to save, fantasizing about being their “prince charming”. The SH themselves never aid innocents unless to help someone they befriended, they are not gonna intervene in a conflict even if thousands of people die. So no, Boa would never help anyone she didnt care about, she helps Luffy because she loves him and to focus on the 5 seconds she fantasizes about their “romance” is silly and shitty.

About her “boasting” about the bad things she’s done, words arent the same as actions and her shown actions were not shown to be worse than any other pirate. She turns other pirates and marines to stone, but Mihawk killed almost 5000 people just to pass the time and he gets no flack for it. The SH have contributed directly to the death of marines who just do their jobs. Her kicking baby seals, throwing away expensive gems and destroying children’s statues are petty things I dont care about, and just part of a persona to dissuade others from thinking she’s weak, she doesnt truly believe her own people would love her unconditionally if she spends years lying to them about her past. Hancock is no remorseless murderer like Enel and Crocodile, the reason she became a schischibukai was to protect her people.

As for surrounding herself with “enablers”, there’s not exactly any living person other than Nyon and Rayleigh who knows about her past and she can open up to. Her own culture demands she show no weakness, which would make that even harder.

@the-cat-under-telperion​ 

@chromatic-lamina​

@fan-tasmic​

I want your take on this.

[jane-fucking-seymour]

Legend of the Six has now been updated!

Chapter 23: Daughter of Shadow

Words: 5032 

AO3 Link

When we are little, we are taught that the darkness is scary.

Children hide from it under the comforts of pillows and blankets, men shield themselves from it with torches and lanterns, and the general public escape it through dreams and sleep. From the day we are born to the day we die, we are told to fear the Dark, and the creatures that live amongst it. It’s personified as the unknown, as the wicked, as the evil. The Dark, many claim, cannot be trusted, nor can it be utilized without misfortune.

The many, to Anne Boleyn, are considered fools.

Ever since she was a little girl - even with the scary stories of the Darkness being evil and Light being good - Anne Boleyn constantly sought for a second opinion. It’s not that she didn’t trust the stories; far from it, as she had seen what the dark could do. But she’s also seen it do wonders: it hides her from an ambush when she’s younger, it reveals foolish enemies positions that don’t know how to control their shadows, and it is a comfort, still, when late at night. After all, Anne argues, the darkness is the reason why we are in awe of the stars. That’s got to count for something, right?

As she continued down this path of Darkness, she came to befriend it in a unique way. Shadows would race to her to say hello, like old friends. The Darkness often wrapped around her like a cloak, a better shield than the ones the finest blacksmiths of the Realm could make. She extended a hand to the dark and found that it not only accepted, but embraced her as their own. And she was happier for it.

Of course, her friendship didn’t go unnoticed; it’s what started the rumors in court to begin with. Many in the court would talk ill of her friends, of the comforts she held that were so unique and against the grain that people thought it scary. She was shunned by many in the courts - all afraid of this girl that could control the darkness, calling her a Servant to it, a thrall. To many, Anne was cursed, and her regency should never had seen the light of day.

Unluckily for them (and, eventually, for her), Henry wasn’t afraid of the dark either.

Anne came to understand this as she was on the run from a particularly unyielding suitor. She hid in the shadows, in the garden, waiting for the man to pass. He hadn’t seen her, and in his drunken stupor, had started calling for her quite loudly. This resulted in unwanted attention. Anne had chuckled as the man was immediately yelled at by the King himself, thoroughly embarrassed and berated in the middle of the night by such an important figure in the Realm. She expected the guy to turn tail and run, which he did.

What she DIDNT expect was for the King himself to suddenly turn and face her. Her, hidden by the darkness that she knew so well.

He looked curious, as if struggling to see her, but seeing her all the same. He called for her to appear, to not be afraid. He wasn’t afraid of the dark either, he said. He knew she wasn’t either. Perhaps they could make a habit of finding each other in the shadows in the night, perhaps they could chat about their experiences with the Dark, perhaps they could be friends.

It didn’t take too long for Anne to realize he meant something a little more than just friends.

The marriage between Catherine of Aragon and Henry VIII was going rather swimmingly, at least according to anyone that looked: Catherine had just saved the world from evildoers in the South, and Henry had applauded his wife’s work. The Realm rejoiced in such a decisive victory over the enemy that day, and had even strengthened their allyship with Holbein in the process; a two for one victory that the history books were to celebrate for centuries, if all had gone to plan.

But, as Anne would later find out in their midnight rendezvous, he thought he could do more. His wife was, of course, a formidable person in battle, but the Darkness isn’t that scary. It got a bad reputation because of the Blessed that defeated the enemies in the South, he said. Why couldn’t his wife see that the darkness wasn’t something to banish, but to wield? 

To Anne, this made perfect sense because of the darkness that she knew, the darkness she assumed they were talking about. It resulted in resentment towards the (at the time, current) queen, especially when Henry finally gave her the chance to be the Blessed Aragon’s lady in waiting not too long afterwards. Anne didn’t see then that it was a way to groom her for the throne; instead, she simply thought he wanted someone in his corner, someone that understood the Dark for what it really was.

And she played right into his hands perfectly.

At least, for a while.

It was later, when Catherine was “killed,” when she saw Jane Seymour enter the picture, that Anne realized that maybe he wasn’t a friend of the dark like she thought he was.

For one, he never was able to hide well, not from anyone. The darkness that was easy to sink into when she was alone or with Maggie or even with Catherine and Maria was not as such when he was around; it was like the Darkness rebuked him, didn’t want him near it. Didn’t claim him as their own the way that they had claimed Anne all those years ago. In her want to be queen and in her want to have someone that understood her, she ignored it; there was just something about Henry that made her want to ignore what she thought she knew. He had that way about him, a way that made her want to believe in what he said.

So when he told her to go on the road that fateful day, she had no idea what was coming.

Maria hadn’t been acting any different than usual, for example, and it was in the middle of the day when it happened. Anne was completely unsuspecting until just before the ambush occurred; at that point, her shadow gave her away. For a while, it was the shadows that was her most trusted ally as she hid, refusing to be found until she absolutely had to. 

She survived because of the Shadows. They had given her so much. But now, it seems, they were asking something of her.

Who was she to refuse?

So she sits, in front of the woman, head bowed respectfully. The woman smiles softly at the girl in front of her, as if greeting an old friend. Anne suspects she knows more about Anne than she lets on, but it’s disrespectful to ask.

“I see that you’re ready now,” she says. “To become my champion.” She nods, standing up. “It’ll be a tough road ahead of you, if you choose to embrace my gifts.”

“You have given me so much, my lady,” Anne says quietly, respectfully. “I am but an agent of your will.”

The woman looks over at Maggie, who is still bowing with her head down. She gently lifts the girl’s head up with a soft grin.

“You won’t be needed here,” the woman says, “but I won’t deny you the opportunity to observe the trial. No, you’ve done just as much as her, and I like you almost as much, but she is the Champion for a reason.”

Maggie doesnt dare look the woman in the eye, instead nodding respectfully. “I am in awe of your graciousness, my lady,” she says, a bit of a tremble in her voice. She’s a bit nervous. 

The woman smiles and offers Maggie her hand. Maggie takes it. “You may look me in the eye, you know,” the woman says. “We’re all friends here.”

Maggie does so after a moment, and she’s a bit calmer now. This doesn’t feel as formal as she thought it was going to be, but then again, the Shadows have always been somewhat misleading. 

The woman turns back to Anne, who hasn’t moved from her spot. “My Champion,” she says, sitting down in front of Anne. “You will start your Trial immediately. Should you pass, you shall become my Keeper. Should you fail… well, the outcome depends on how you do that.” She shrugs, a hand wistfully circling in the air, forming some sort of bowl with smoking black substance in it. “Drink. And you shall begin.”

Anne nods, looking back at Maggie with a smile. “I’ll be back.”

Maggie nods, still a bit nervous. “I know you will.”

And with that, Anne takes the bowl and drinks it down.

It doesn’t taste like a lot of anything, but the texture of it is vile to say the least; it feels like something is fighting to go down into her stomach, as if it had a mind of its own. She winces at the feeling, squeezing her eyes shut as the bowl, too, dissolves into the substance and enters her.

She steadies herself, feeling how the substance affects her. Her hands, now empty, fall to her sides, and she focuses. She can feel everything else falling away, can feel herself sinking deeper and deeper and deeper…

… until she’s nowhere at all.

She’s floating in nothing.

It’s dark, and it’s comfortable. She opens her eyes and sees nothing. She floats aimlessly, like in a calm river of sorts, and smiles softly; this was nice. Not really what she expected, if she was being honest, but she’ll take what she can get.

Just as she thinks that, however, she immediately feels herself drop. Now, she’s freefalling into nothing. It’s nothing too terrible, but there seems to be something… darker… just below her now. She yelps, tenses, gets ready for the impact-

-but it never comes. Instead, she’s standing still, on the darker darkness.

She looks around, curious about what’s  happening.

“Hello?” she asks. She doesn’t hear anything - no echo, no voice returning her call. It’s getting a bit cold, too, as she walks further and further into this new darkness. The shadows from before, when she was floating, were what she was comfortable with. This… was not.

Not bad, just different, and incredibly unsettling when she wasn’t used to it. 

She continues through, unseeing, and she wonders if she’s missed something, if she’s already lost the trial. There’s no real purpose to this at the moment, she realizes, and she thinks maybe she needs to do something. Maybe she’s waiting on herself.

With a deep breath, she stops walking, extending a hand above her. She closes her eyes, takes another big breath, and summons the darkness she knows so well.

Usually, it would result in the room getting darker… but that’s not the case. Not now. Her darkness is brighter than this darkness, and the comfort she’s felt for over two decades returns to her. And now, with a smile, she listens to her goddess:

“Your trial begins now, oh contested Champion. I hope you are prepared.”

Anne nods, feeling herself being tugged away and pulled impossibly fast to an impossibly far distance in the shadows - lightyears away from where she was, but also right next door. She eventually stops where she is, and her eyes adjust to the light in front of her.

She’s got solid ground below her. She’s in a hallway. It’s dark and cold and wet. It’s clear that the only light in this area has been the blue torches that dimly illuminate the area. She’s not sure where she is, but she knows she needs to continue. 

She moves forward steadily, but as she does, she starts to hear things - a voice?

“Hello?”

Not her goddess’, either.

Her hand goes to her side, where her trusted daggers would be, but they are not there now. She instead moves to the side, using her shadows to protect and cloak herself as she pushes forward. She hears the voice again, this time coming from the end of the hallway.

Someone’s here. Someone that’s definitely real.

She turns into the room, warily at first, but then she realizes who it is and raises and eyebrow.

“Catherine?!?”

Catherine is indeed there, looking around, very confused. When she spots Anne, though, she instantly rushes over to her.

“What’s going on?” Catherine asks, frowning. “I was just headed into the town we were headed into before you left and… and now I’m here.”

“You were Claimed for a time,” says a voice, one that isn’t either of theirs. “You have been Unclaimed. But now you’re Claimed again.”

Catherine seems to recognize the voice, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “In what way?”

“The Light knows what is happening,” says the voice, reassuring in tone. “And they know why you’re here. They know I won’t keep you any longer than necessary, and they know you won’t be harmed.”

Catherine seems to relax a bit then, but she’s still a bit confused. “I don’t know why I’m here, though.”

“You’re… well, I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” Anne mumbles, a bit embarrassed. “But you’re my guide.”

Catherine blinks. “Your what?”

“In the Trials of the Shadows,” Anne explains, “we get a person that can’t be seen by the Trial, but the Chosen can see and interact with them. Someone that we have a strong connection with. Someone that’s important in our life story. Someone that the Woman chooses.”

“And… she chose me?” Catherine asks, tilting her head.

“We both did, it’s kind of a mutual agreement decision sort of thing,” Anne replies. “Well, most of the time. It’s my soul choosing who it is, and the Woman consenting to manifest it- it’s a long story. Not enough time, if we want to get out of here before the Festival in a few weeks.” Anne sighs, a hand running through her hair. “What you need to know is that I need someone to guide me, to help me through the tough road ahead.” She doesn’t dare look Catherine in the eye for the next part. “It seems that both myself and my mistress are in agreement that if anyone can get me through this, it’s you.”

Catherine smiles. “Well, seeing as I’ve nothing better to do-”

But the jokes stop, suddenly, as the room around them changes.

They’re suddenly in a chamber, one that’s familiar and not at the same time. It’s clearly night, but the moon is not the moon; it’s moreso a ball of energy, as if it was made of arcanic magick rather than a celestial body.

Anne moves into the room a bit more, observing quietly.

“Isn’t this the castle?” Catherine asks quietly, looking out the nearby window. It’s a town made of shadows, but a familiar town nonetheless. “This is Henry’s castle in the Capitol… but I don’t know this room.”

Anne frowns. “Me either, at least, not yet,” she looks around and tilts her head, looking down at the nearby desk. She looks at the papers, picking some up and looking through them, just in time for Catherine to meet her there.

“Anything?” Catherine asks, tilting her head.

“Just notes about certain military movements and plans,” Anne says, continuing to look through. “These look to be from my time as queen, or at least near that time-”

They both look up, however, when they hear someone unlocking the door.

“They can’t see me, but-” Catherine starts, though Anne is already ahead of her. She instantly moves to the shadows, hiding herself. Catherine simply watches as the door opens. She cringes a bit - the person is covered with shadow, their true form unable to be seen. 

They walk towards the desk, looking through papers before eventually picking up a blank one and writing on it. They continue to write, and Anne gets a better look at the paper. She narrows her eyes and, while avoiding detection, moves towards the back of the room, farthest from the door. 

Just as she does, another person enters the room - this time, Catherine gasps.

“Maria!”

Maria can’t hear her, of course, and the scene continues without interruption. 

Maria stands in front of the shadowed figure, bowing slightly.

Both Anne and Catherine wince when the shadowed figure starts talking - their voice is cloaked in a thousand others, distorted and underwater and barely even hearable yet blaring all at once. 

Maria, however, doesn’t seem to have an issue hearing them, resulting in a one-way conversation that Catherine and Anne can hear.

“Of course, I understand,” Maria says with a nod. She looks down at the paper that is handed to her, studying it carefully. Maria sets her jaw a bit before she nods slowly. There’s a moment before she tenses, looking up at the shadowy figure, clearly angry.

“I have not forgotten the promise I made,” Maria growls. “Not to her. Catherine shall not have died in vain.”

The confliction on Maria’s face makes Catherine’s heart break. 

Maria nods, salutes, and leaves the room. As soon as the door closes, the shadowy figure suddenly snaps their attention straight to Anne.

Anne’s gasp is only for a moment, as the figure rushes her, and suddenly she’s consumed by it.

“Anne!” Catherine yells, but the world is turning again, and despite her concern, another scene is playing out.

Anne, barely on her feet, moves to hide again, but… something’s changed. Something’s starting. Anne is more tense as the next scene happens, this time with the shadowy figure and a eerie green light.

Another person arrives - a magick practitioner in the castle, Catherine assumes - and speaks:

“Once we have someone to accept the terms, necromancy will be firmly in our war arsenal,” he says, looking down at a paper. “We’ve managed to connect the dots on this fairly quickly, thanks to the research at the Heart. And because of that, we may be able to control corrupted Light and Shadows easily enough in a few years.”

“They what-?” Catherine asks, but suddenly Anne is once again attacked by a shadow, once again forced to absorb it. “Anne!” Catherine yells, moving over to the girl as she falls to her knees.

Anne is gasping for air, but is clearly furious. “I can feel it,” she growls out. “The frustration, the anger, the power… it’s all here.” She holds up her hand. “This is how it would feel. To go unchecked. To be consumed… by the rage… of the past…”

Catherine frowns. “But that’s not what the Darkness is, is it? It’s not rage, it’s not power. It’s something else, isn’t it?” It’s something Catherine doesn’t totally understand, but she gets this much; it’s very similar to her own understanding of the Light.

Anne growls out, looking down at her hands as they burn with darkness. She feels it crawling around her skin, no longer the comfortable calm that she’s used to, but with newfound purpose. Anger. Betrayal. All of it. It’s feeding into her emotions, into her magicks.

Catherine sees the trial for what it really is, just in time for the scene to change again.

They’re in a room, and now Maria is back. Catherine ignores her feelings for the time being as she hears the conversation.

“It’s done,” Maria says bitterly. “She’s dead.”

The shadowed figure turns around, says things they don’t understand, and Maria nods.

“I’ll be sure to keep this in mind,” she says quietly. “For the Realm.”

Again, the shadow figure snaps her attention to Anne… but this time, Catherine steps in, quickly shielding Anne from the figure.

Catherine yelps as she absorbs it instead… but now, her Light seems to overpower it.

For now.

“Anne,” Catherine says, a bit winded by the event. Anne, for her part, is glaring at Maria, but Catherine breaks the line of sight. “Anne. Remember. This is a trial. What are all of these things doing to you?”

“They’re…” Anne growls a bit. “They’re making me angry. Angrier than I’ve ever felt.”

“Okay, and why would they want to do that? What is happening with the Darkness you’re feeling?”

Anne focuses on it, only for a moment, before her thoughts immediately go to the Maria in front of her. She’s right there, for the taking, easily killed at this angle…

“Anne, answer me.”

She looks back at Catherine. “It’s not actually Darkness,” Anne growls out. “It’s not comforting. This energy, it enhances your darkest thoughts. Your fears. Your anger-”

Anne tries to pulse towards Maria, but Catherine quickly stops it.

“Anne, focus.” Catherine says. “You can’t let this overtake you. Focus on me: why are they showing you these things? What’s the goal?”

“To make me angry,” Anne growls, struggling in Catherine’s grasp. Maria’s so close, she could almost touch her.

“Is that all?” Catherine asks, raising an eyebrow. She’s struggling to keep Anne at bay, but she’ll do it for as long as it takes to help her.

“What the fuck do you mean, is that all, it’s-!” she starts, but then her eyes go wide. “Oh. Oh, shit, oh-”

“What?” Catherine asks, clearly confused, but then the shadowed figure appears again. Anne immediately turns her attention to it, quick to suddenly pull Catherine behind her with some unseen shadows, and instantly moves to grab the shadowed figure.

Anne narrows her eyes as the shadowed figure whips their head around to face Anne, but Anne shakes her head.

“Not this time,” she says, smirking. “It was a distraction. You were always good at those. And you’re here, because you’re my weakness. You’re the reason I can’t move on, you’re the reason I can’t grow. You, and what you stand for to me.”

She grabs a torch nearby, and this time throws it at the shadowed figure.

The shadows retreated from the form, and the true terror appeared. 

Her hair as blonde as before, blue piercing eyes now tinted with green energy as the new staff she wielded resulted in a pulsing energy that made Anne want to run. She looks on with wide eyes as the woman, over and over again, summons monstrosities, clearly attempting to overrun Anne right then and there.

Anne practically growls.

“Jane fucking Seymour.”

The figure in question certainly looked like the Keeper of Necromancy, but with one distinct difference - her eyes were not normal, but instead pulsing with darkness, with eerie energy that Anne had to look away from at the moment. She shivers at the coldness that’s so apparent she can feel it, but then a warm hand holds on her shoulder and she looks up at Catherine.

“This is the trial, then.” Catherine says, so matter-of-factly that it helps calm Anne somewhat. Anne looks up, managing to overcome her own fear of the corruption before her, and nods. Catherine nods back. “Go on, then.”

Anne moves away, towards the corruption, taking a deep breath as she does so. She suddenly pulses forward, moving past the shadowy monstrosities and immediately to Jane, but the girl dodges so fast that Anne can’t react to the counterattack. Suddenly, Anne has a knife through her stomach, though it quickly dissolves into shadows as she’s released. She falls to the floor, huffing in pain, as she practically growls at Jane, who backs up and readies herself for another onslaught.

“Direct attacks won’t work,” Catherine says.

“You think I don’t know that?” Anne asks, right as she pulses forward again. This time, instead of straight on attack Jane, she uses the shadows to dissolve into cover…

… or at least, she thought she did, right before Jane plucks her out of the darkness and once again stabs her with a dagger that fades into shadows.

Anne yelps again, and this time, she falls to her knees. She holds her abdomen, coughing up blood, before she looks down at the wound. It’s festering with corrupted darkness.

And that gives her an idea.

“What else do you have?” Catherine asks, at the woman’s side as Anne shakily stands up. Anne seems to be focused, so Catherine steps aside. “I hope you know what you’re doing. I don’t think you can take another one of those stabs.”

“Don’t worry,” Anne says. “I won’t need another chance.”

She pulses forward, straight on. Catherine’s heart drops; did Anne suddenly forget this was what she did at first?

Jane readies her dagger, and just as she thrusts it into Anne… it suddenly stops. It all stops. All the monsters, all the magicks Jane conjured. They all just… stop.

Catherine looks over to find that Anne’s eyes are not her own - they’re filled with darkness. At first, Catherine thought the girl had lost, that she was corrupted like Jane’s magicks, but when Anne suddenly thrust her hand into the sky and Jane immediately did the same thing, Catherine realized what was happening.

Of course, Catherine thought, feeling a little stupid for not realizing it before. She can control shadows!

Indeed, Anne was now controlling Jane’s movements, Jane’s actions, all of it. The darkness around them was no long being passive in the fight; Anne was forcing it to move with her, at her command, and Jane was powerless to stop it.

This, Catherine realized, was the true power of a Keeper of the Shadows. This was the potential of the Queen of Shadows.

Anne immediately pulses backwards, but Jane still can’t move. Anne lifts her hands - Jane doesn't follow this time, Anne’s holding her in place - and Anne suddenly has chains connected to Jane’s wrists. The end of the chains are in Anne’s hands, and she smirks as she suddenly slams them into the ground, making Jane fall as well. Keeping the chains in one hand, Anne uses her other one to command the shadows to clear out the monsters around them, wiping them into oblivion, before focusing back on the Jane in front of her.

With a final wince, Anne takes the energy that she could feel around the wound and harnesses it herself. Instead of it infecting her body, she now controlled it as she formed it into a spear and threw it back at Jane, cracking her heart and thrusting them all into pale moonlight that blinded the area for a second.

The corrupted dark gives way to pale moonlight, and that Jane is on her knees. She looks up and her eyes are her own. 

Anne’s blade pulses with the warm type of darkness that Anne is familiar with.

Anne looks down at the girl, and Jane looks up. She’s crying, eyes wide at the blade. She doesn’t say anything, however, as she bows her head.

“What is this?” Anne asks, but she keeps her gaze on Jane.

Catherine looks around. “Looks like the forests near the castle in the Capitol, honestly,” Catherine says. “I recognize this clearing. The bridge to the courtyard is only a few yards away.”

“And why is she giving herself over to me?” Anne asks, her hand tightening on her blade as her body stiffens.

Silence. Then, Catherine:

“I think you’ve a choice to make, Keeper of the Shadows.”

Anne continues her focus on the neck. She continues to remember. She continues to feel.

And she raises the blade and thrusts it down, hitting her mark. 

Instead of a scream, or a head rolling, the figure immediately bursts into darkness, fading into the darkness around it. There’s suddenly a stronger darkness - a Void of sorts - and Catherine and Anne are pulled into it. The darkness is suffocating for Catherine, whose light suddenly is snuffed out, but Anne seems to revel in it, like it’s a cool refreshing drink. 

When she opens her eyes again, however, she finds the Woman and Maggie standing over her.

Maggie smiles, but she’s clearly scared. “Annie?”

Anne takes a deep breath, then smiles. “I’m ok. We’re all ok.” She looks up at the Woman. “Was that satisfactory, my lady?”

“Just about what I expected,” the Woman replies. “But I think you’re ready regardless.”

Anne stands and, just as she goes to bow again, the Woman puts her hand on Anne’s heart and mind. Suddenly, Anne can feel a cool yet warm sensation coming from the hands that pressed against her, and her eyes faded into darkness for a moment before they returned to normal. She takes a deep breath and, suddenly, she feels more alive than ever.

When the Woman steps back, Anne instinctually puts a hand on her heart and head, just before she summons a shadow dagger in her hands.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Anne says. She then takes a deep breath and focuses on the energy; it forms into a darkened fireball of sorts, then a gauntlet, then an arrow. She smirks as she then puts the energy into her other hand, back into the dagger, and takes a step back into the shadows. She completely disappears then; not even Maggie could sense her.

She ends up behind the Woman, who doesn’t seem surprised to see her, but smiles. “I trust your new arsenal is to your satisfaction, my champion and my Keeper of Shadows?”

Anne’s eyes go wide at the title and she smiles widely, but she immediately shows respect, bowing deeply. “Thank you, Mistress.”

The Woman nods. “Pray you continue to do my will, though you are not bound to it. That’s not how I operate, unlike some others.”

That got Anne thinking. “Where did Catherine go?”

“The Blessed? She’s back in her body. She had some issues with a Fae, but I saved her.” The Woman smiles. “She helped my Champion in her trial, I saved her from being stolen away by the Fae. I consider us even - well, myself and her Goddess.”

Anne nods. “I’ll be sure to tell them to be careful moving forward. Thank you, my Mistress.” She looks back over at Maggie, who nods. “We need to go. The place where they are, it’s a Fae Lands. They’re going to need all the help they can get.”

Maggie nods. “After you.”

They rush off.

[shiro-0197]

aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

U

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU

[panda-noosh]

i hope requests are still open!!! AND this makes sense... i was hoping to request that the reader is the paladins nurse who takes care of them during their stay at the hospital. (the end of the last season.) and krolia is like "theyd be a promising mate, keith" it doesnt have to be nsfw just like funny and fluffy, please? i just imagine keith going fifty shades of red-especially if the reader is still there--you decide. i just want reader to be their nurse. thank you!

words: 1.4k

notes: here you go! x

+++

     Keith woke, the feel of fingertips pressing against his jaw startling him fully into consciousness.

    He wanted to spring up, to become immediately alert with the hands touching him, but his thoughts were taking much longer to process than usual. His movements were slow, sluggish, a direct contrast to the quick reflexes he was used to.

    He groaned, eyes still closed. His head flicked like a horse trying to swat a fly away, and it was only then did the hands in question flinch away from his face, leaving him to open his eyes on his own.

    He looked up, body immediately relaxing at the sight of you standing over him, a gentle smile pulled on your features - it was the kind of smile that only a nurse could really have, one that was friendly and made even the worst injured people relax into the covers.

     “Well, good morning,” you said cheerfully. “It’s good to see you’re awake.”

    Keith’s heart thundered in his chest. He smiled weakly back at you, trying his hardest to play off his pain as nothing more than a mild inconvenience - of course, there was no point. You had been trained to spot these kind of things, and it was clear that you had easily spotted just how much pain Keith was in.

    You sighed and leaned forward, probing at his jaw again. This time, Keith didn’t flinch away from the feel of your fingertips. Instead, it was almost like he absorbed it, letting it refuel him from the daze he had once been locked in. He stared at you as you worked, resisting the urge to reach out and brush the stray strand of hair falling from your hat back behind your ear.

    “You’re gonna be perfectly fine, I think,” you assured, working away at Keith’s pulse. “Only a bit of a concussion, but that will get cleared up if you just stay in bed.”

    Keith raised a brow. “What makes you think I’ll willingly stay in bed?”

   You frowned, shooting Keith a warning glance that made him chuckle. “I’ll tie you down if I have to, Keith Kogane. No more missions, no more training, no more messing about until you’re fully healed. And that’s final.”

   “Okay, doc.”

    You rolled your eyes, tickling Keith playfully beneath his chin before you pulled away and excused yourself from the room. Keith watched you go, trying his hardest to fight off the happiness that always somehow managed to bubble to the surface whenever you so much as glanced in his direction.

    He liked to think it was just because you were the nurse - you had saved his life on multiple occasions, and it was almost impossible to not feel something friendly towards the person who worked tirelessly just to see you healthy. You were kind, and sweet and funny and you took Keith’s disgruntled attitude and his crazy mood swings in stride, without so much as a complaint.

   You were patient with him, and that warmed his heart.

    He inhaled and settled down into his covers. There was still blood staining his upper arm, which he made a mental note to sponge off whenever you finally let him get out of bed long enough to have a bath. Though he knew he could find a way to twist your arm, there was no doubt in his mind that you were deadly serious about tying him down to keep him in bed.

    “She’s a good one, isn’t she?”

    Keith bit back his cry of shock, eyes snapping up towards the door where the voice had initially come from. Standing in the doorway that you had just exited through was no other than his mother, Krolia. She had her arms folded over her chest, a sly smile on her face that told Keith everything - she knew.

    He shimmied further down in the covers, pulling the white quilt up to his chin in his attempts to hide his bare chest. “I thought you were out training with the Blade?”

    Krolia stepped into the room. “I was, but I told them my son is my first priority. Whenever Y/N told me you were awake, I came straight here.”

   “You mustn’t have been very far away, considering Y/N only left the room a few minutes ago.”

    Krolia smiled warily. “I would never drift too far when you’re in trouble, my boy.”

    Keith flushed, unsure of how to respond to that. It always amazed him how his own mother could speak with such a poetic tongue, and yet Keith could scarcely form a coherent sentence when he was in a state of nervousness. 

    Krolia settled herself down at the side of him, a smile still playing at her features. “Y/N was very worried about you whenever you came in injured, you know.”

    “I’d assume so. We’re friends.”

    Krolia hummed. “But she was specifically worried about you - she immediately sent the others off to the other healers, but she made sure that she was in charge when she was helping you.”

    Keith flushed, trying to keep the deadpan look on his face that would hopefully convince his mother that such a fact should mean nothing. “As I said, we’re friends.”

    “I think she’s good for you, Keith.”

    His eyes shot open, a splutter involuntarily slipping past his lips at the mere suggestion. Of course he had thought of it before, had many opportunities to think of you as something more than a friend, but hearing the suggestion come from somebody else was like a blow to the gut.

    “Mum!” he protested.

    Krolia chuckled. “I’m just keeping an eye out, okay? I worry about you. Whenever I leave, I want somebody here who can keep you in check. I know how you tend to lose yourself to your training more often than not.”

   Keith folded his arms over his chest, looked away in any attempt to hide the blush gliding through his cheeks. “I don’t need anyone to look after me. I’m perfectly capable of doing that on my own.”

    “Yes. That’s why you’re currently in a hospital bed.” She poked at his rib cage. Keith scowled and squirmed away. “The only reason you’re still breathing right now is because Y/N was here to help you. The poor girl hasn’t even slept yet.”

   Keith’s eyes popped wide, head snapping around. “Seriously?”

   “Seriously. The other nurses offered to take over her spot, but she refused. She’s been on her feet tending to you for the past thirty hours straight.”

    Keith pursed his lips, a heavy feeling of guilt taking over. He had seen you work tirelessly before; contrary to what others may assume, considering the constant vibrancy of your personality, you often went days without a decent nights sleep. Keith had seen you curled up on a chair, head bent into the crook of your elbow - you would let yourself doze off for only a few minutes at a time before the anxiety for your patients well being woke you up and set you off working again.

    “I told her to stop doing that,” Keith mumbled.

    Krolia shrugged. “As I said, she cares about you. She didn’t want to leave without knowing you’d be alright.”

    “She always tells me off whenever I stay up working.”

    Krolia smiled. “See? You’re already like an old married couple.”

    The thought made Keith flush. He looked to the left, towards the door that you had exited through only moments before. He imagined you parading around the hallways, exhaustion filling your body but you pushing it to the side purely so you could make sure Keith was okay - he silently cursed himself for not coming around sooner, for making you stay by his side for as long as you had done.

    And perhaps that was why he came to the realisation that you meant a lot more to him than just being his nurse. He brushed off other peoples advances, didn’t bother to care whenever other people were running themselves into the ground. In his eyes, work was everything. People who stayed up all night to work were just trying to get things done.

   Until that person was you. Until it was your well-being that was being put in danger.

   He pursed his lips at the realisation, silently hoping that you had gone off not to check on his results, not to gather some more medical equipment, but to get the rest that you both needed and deserved. 

[bluebuckstallion]

kinda ramble-y fic below the cut, includes a metric fuck-ton of angst, macdennis, teen au, drinking, and a Lot of implied abuse/trauma

summary: macs a rebellious 14 year old tht hates the rich, dennis is a dick that really just needs an outlet to share his feelings, theyre sad together

ok no offense but i just...really love the concept of like, teen mac & charlie crashing house parties. them sneaking out of the house together and their late night adventures quickly becoming a blur of adrenaline and laughter as they jus show up at random parties someone down the street is throwing. they show up undetected at the peak of the utter chaos that is teen rebellion, take a shitload of booze, and then ditch just as fast. they go by the train tracks after and get wasted together, drowning out the deafening reality that is their parents dont care enough to notice theyre not at home every night & that life isnt going so well. and for once they can be happy in each others company and have a taste of a childhood they deserved, even if they can only find it at the bottom of a bottle

one night mac goes off by himself, probably because charlie just hasnt been as up to going out. mac has no clue why, the only things charlie’s been sputtering about between drinks every night is his ‘son of a bitch of an uncle’ who moved back in recently. mac doesnt understand and charlie wont give him what he needs to understand it. so mac gives it no second thought. he spots this absolutely huge house in the suburbs. hes never seen something with architecture like this and hell sure as hell never understand how someone can afford so much room, or what its even used for. the yard is donned with blacked out kids he knows from his classes, and the inside of the house is filled with the melody of drunk kids slurring and laughing to party songs.

he decides this is it-this is the one place hell allow himself to go without his best friend. and hell definitely save booze for him. and he wont allow himself to feel guilty for it, he never does anything for himself anyways. he strides in with a nonchalant facade and his best ‘yes-i-definitely-belong-here’ smile from cheek to cheek, waving at classmates that never noticed him before and definitely wont now. which is the only advantage that comes from being the rat, one of the sore losers in the bullshit hierarchy that is high school popularity. nobody will notice when youre taking something right infront of them.

he makes it to the kitchen and finally pieces together who lives here-its the piece of shit he has half his classes with, the word snob as a person, someone he cant help but loathe for his gross elitism. its dennis reynolds. some kid thats really full of himself, someone who helped trademark ‘the rat’ and laughs at mac while hes down. he didnt really mind, its not like he was bullying charlie, and he was strong enough to take the half-assed insults this guy threw at him. it wasnt a big deal.

but here, now-he found dennis in the midst of his own party, alone in the kitchen, half-empty bottle of tequila in tow, and what looked like mascara trailing from his eyes. what a pussy is what he was about to say, but something stopped him. dennis looked at the other boy looming over him and flinched, covering his face instantly. mac was confused, what the hell was he doing that for? when dennis realized he was fine, he instantly tried to revert back to his cool guy defense mode. something compelled mac to crouch down next to him because, well geez, the poor kid was a mess.. and he felt like it humanized him. the urge to steal his things for a taste of a life he never had slowly died down as he said hello to the gracious party host himself. “why-are-you-here”s  were spit out instantly, because dennis didn’t remember inviting some dirty street rat to his party. mac gave a really half-assed excuse, which was all he needed to convince dennis he was supposed to be here, considering all his thoughts were mush from how out of it he was-he never had the opportunity to drink this much on account of his sister beating him to it, or his mom emptying everything after heated arguments with his dad. and although it annoyed him when she was drunk, it was better than falling asleep to the melody of fighting and the threat of an impending divorce.

but anyways, now mac is lost in his eyes and they’re both half a bottle of tequila down, and he isnt sure if hes holding his hand or just dreaming it. and oh god, his eyes are so beautiful and his lips are coated with strawberry chapstick and he wants to kiss them so bad, he wants to keep holding his hand for all of eternity but at the same time he wants to hold his face in his hands and wow he wants to kiss him so bad and to taste the strawberry chapstick and god, hes infatuated. he wants to wipe his tears away and to kiss his rosy cheeks and run his hands through his hair, so bad. and it hits him that hes too deep, what would charlie think of this? falling for the enemy? fuck. but that doesnt matter because all that matters now is the fact hes really hand in hand with someone hes fallen in love with, and all it took was talk of trauma and a bottle of tequila.

theyre no longer on the kitchen floor as theyre giggling hand in hand stumbling up the stairs, leaning on each other and shushing one another as they laugh too hard to smile right and their cheeks are flush and they arent sure if its the drinking or their company. theyre trying to be quiet as they close the door to the twins’ room and dennis tries to lock it with a shaky hand. mac watches him in utter jaw-dropping awe, feeling butterflies fill his stomach and suffocating any insecurity hed ever felt before. this was new to him. but dennis felt it even stronger. hed spent so long building up a wall, hed spent so long listening to his mothers vodka-fueled lectures about never letting yourself fall in love. barbara made him promise hed never do that to himself, it hurt too much she told him. but now he was sitting on the top bunk of his bed with what seemed to be the boy of his dreams, he didnt know he could ever feel this way or honestly feel anything at all, and he was too drunk to feel guilty for it.

hours pass and now mac is laying on his bare chest. dennis has his hands intertwined in his hair and hes taken away by how soft it is when he strokes it. macs never felt a wave of clarity envelop him so softly before. hes at peace. all the droning hum of party music is drowned out. all he can hear is the soft rhythm of their hearts and their cautious breathing, both scared that this still might not be real. macs heart flutters when he realizes dennis’ breathing gets faster as he moves his hand across his chest, and he looks up with half-slit puppy dog eyes that dennis is absolutely in love with. mac opens his mouth to speak, but changes his mind. he doesnt wanna jinx it, hes so scared he wont be able to impress cool kid dennis reynolds, and he doesnt wanna do anything to change this moment. he plays it safe. as he snuggles closer, dennis holds him and macs face is the warmest its ever been, and he buries it in the other boys chest. he doesnt know how to react to this, hes never known how to react to anything but especially nothing like this. his face is even warmer than macs and hes trying so hard to not let him know that he likes him because thats something his mom would be ashamed of. mac falls asleep on his chest, and dennis cant stop playing with his hair.

dennis wakes him up because he knows everything would be ruined if anyone found them together, especially his sister. god knows what she would do. and dennis tries to tell him he should leave, but the words choke him too much to come out when he sees macs adorable face glance up at him. and hes just too shy to say a word.

the next thing they know, dennis pulls him closer and theyre both kissing for the first time, and mac feels wrong. he wants to push him away and he knows he should feel absolutely horrible, he knows god would be disappointed in something like this and hes terrified of the consequences hell get. but he pushes the thoughts away and succumbs to the warmth that surrounds his body. dennis is holding him so gently and neither want to ever move again, and something compels them to stay together. the kiss is only broken by dennis’ nervous laughter, and a smile that he cant hide. and when the boys recollect themselves they start kissing again. they never went further than that, partially because they couldnt get it up this drunk and partially because they were too scared to ruin it, but it was still nice to fall asleep side by side, even if they didnt mean to

mac wakes up to the soft golden smile of the suns rays against the bed, and he vaguely remembers last night. panic sets in like it never has before. hes never stayed somewhere else this late before. what if charlie’s looking for him. what if whoever hes with didnt lock the door and someone saw him. and then he remembers who hes with, and hes terrified. what the hell did he do? he feels tears of shame well up because he knows hes a sinner in gods eyes and hes made the biggest mistake of his life, and oh fuck when he tried to get out from under the covers he woke dennis up. he isnt even half as shocked as mac is, hes calm. hes happy. hes never woke up so peacefully before, and hes grinning. he tries to tell mac good morning but hes rambling under his breath about how wrong this is and hes going to hell, and dennis takes that as a sign he shouldve taken his mothers advice. hes utterly crushed.

mac doesnt even apologize as he leaves, he slips on his boots and gets out as soon as he can despite the wavering tone in dennis’ protests and pleads to stay. he forgets his jacket during the rush. he leaves dennis confused and more scared of opening up than hes ever been, and he doesnt know how to deal with his feelings anymore. mac tries to forget everything. he never tells charlie. he doesnt ever want to look dennis in the eyes again. he never wants to feel that way again, because he went from feeling on top of the world to being ashamed and thinking he knows its wrong. he doesnt tell anyone.

[matazz]

My Feelings on Roy Endoza

sooo i wrote this basically after a big thing happened in our campaign. it was basically a way to vent to myself and i never ended up sending it until now. anyway, here’s a couple of ramblings.

It’s Carter and it’s finally getting to the end of Campaign 2. It’s been over a year since Roy Endoza has existed as my character and he’s so different to how I originally imagined him. Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings so I’ll divide it up into categories. I’m writing this as how I’m feeling so it makes sense its whatever comes to mind first and makes sense chronologically but you can read it how you want but this is gonna be definitely from the most impactful things to the least.

Basically my Thoughts on how I wrote Roy

For starters, he was this unempathetic doctor who stole corpses from hospitals to practice necromancy for fun, and lies about being dead because its hilarious. I eventually evolved him into this gentle guy who adores the people he loves because I decided to give him a boyfriend; Milo Corazon (his name is cute because it means “My Heart”. Roy’s name means nothing symbolic). Milo was just meant to be there to make him have more depth as a character, and that’s exactly what I did. I got really attached to him though, and I came to the realization that I need to seperate Roy from Milo for the campaign to start.

And as tropey as it is, I decided to kill him. And I didnt just want him to die from illness or an accident or get “murdered by a syndicate”. Milo is soft, he’s innocent and gentle and sweetness and sunshines and thats exactly why Roy Endoza fell for him. So I made Roy kill him through the irony of his own necrotic practices.

Since even before the campaign started I’ve been threading it along that Roy is dead. He’s a corpse who was brought back from the gods mysteriously. I even faked being a cleric. It’s a fake backstory I made to counter the real one, and everybody believed it. It didnt counter anything, it made sense.

And even before that, I’ve known he was going to lie and I’ve known he was going to try to use necromancy to bring his boyfriend back and I’ve known he was going to continually lie to keep himself safe.

Basically my Thoughts on Royce

At the start of the campaign he got the letter. An opportunity. He met Fox only a while after his accident and he got attached.. to this lost confused boy who was just as lost as he was. And then we met all of you.

Shortly after, I told Ayce about my “lie” first... and then Ayce had the exact same thing going on and I took it as an opportunity. I saw the opportunities with Roy betraying Ayce and using him. And I thought about how fucking beautiful it would be if they were a romance and how much more impactful it would be if they were. Not only did it make sense with Roy’s motives of finding a way to bring back Milo, but it made sense for Roy and Ayce to “empathise” with eachother after going through “the same thing”. And holy fuck I took that opportunity and RAN with the wind and I’ve not regretted it.

I absolutely fucking adore Royce even for those messed up reasons. It just works. Ayce is absolutely the type of boy that’s Roy’s type. Kind of small and good for hugging, has fluffy hair and a nice smile, a bit cheeky and dumb but still clever and really charismatic.. and the relationship between the necrotic boys and bonding over that was a bonus. It probably would have worked in a universe where Ayce’s life wasnt fucked and Roy chose not to do necromancy. It was sweet and cute and perfect without the angst but it was heartbreaking and tragic and awful WITH the angst. I loved the potential for the love and cute bits and even more so I loved the potential for all the heartbreak and the angst.

Endoza loves Milo Corazon with every ounce of his heart and he was interested in Ayce because it was Ayce that made him know it was possible. Truly, and really possible, to bring back someone from the dead.

I know that’s evil for me as a player to continue this plotline but it made sense in character. Roy was interested. And it was mistaken for romantic interest.

And Roy... didn’t mind. He genuinely loves Ayce. More than he expected to for just a person he was going to use as a stepping stool for his goal (it sounds awful, I’ve KNOWN this). And I as the player loved it.. I loved Royce because not only did I get to attach my character to something else but it just worked so well narratively. It was unexpected and it was beautiful and it was tragic and I’ve known that the honeymoon phase of Royce was only going to last for a few months before it collapsed into this deep well of never turning back and yet I kept pushing and chugging for this relationship to happen bc I really wanted the drama that I knew would come along with it (also it just WORKS narratively)

Basically my Thoughts on The Gods / Being a Champion

To be honest I’m unsure how none of you ever found my story to be bullshit when Roy himself never had faith in the gods. He has absolutely no relationship with his god and he only used them as a stepping stone for his lie and it worked, even though I messed up so many times and admitted I never trusted them.

Which.. why would Roy trust a God who doesnt know him at all? Or even more so, if the God supposedly knows “everything about Roy” yet didn’t attempt to stop Roy on his endeavour of necromancy despite being heavily against necrotic magic. Or why the Gods who are so against necromancy would choose a boy who was bought back to life and a necromancer himself. It was silly and Roy thinks the gods were stupid in their choosings.

In his mind Roy believes that the gods have no power. They’re weak and that’s why they make people to their gritty work, because they can’t do it themselves. In his mind, Roy doesn’t quite believe everything their saying. Roy Endoza doesn’t care about about being a champion, but he’s curious...

Beshaba was obviously wanting the keys because of their immense power, so he thought that maybe he can use it for himself. Unlock a power that nobody else has or could, use it not for anyone but himself and Milo. He wasn’t on anyone’s side. Neither the gods or Beshaba. He only wants to save his loved ones and himself even if it meant committing blasphemy.

The first time I ever talked to Lathandar he was already so far down the rabbit hole. Roy already had no respect for the gods and was going through with his plans anyway, so his god trying to talk him out to it just felt like a massive joke to him. Why do you care now when you never cared before?

But yet I asked him questions anyway. To use him, to find out more. I asked him about the magic readings and I asked him about the keys and I asked him about the world beyond Sanctuary and I asked him about Beshaba.

All to find out that the gods are.. basically inefficient and that they were evil once. That beyond sanctuary they were corrupt and then they suddenly “grew a conscious” (Roy finds it hard to believe that people, even Gods, can just “stop being corrupt”) and when they got embarrassed of their actions, closed off the rest of the world. They do nothing except sit and let their champions do things and are scared of Beshaba; one God vs the four of them. But why are they scared when they have collective power and the keys? They could banish Beshaba themselves with their power alone. This is why Roy doesn’t (and has never) believed in what the gods stand for. He is only using them, and the only reason he stayed was because of Ayce and Fox.

As I’m writing this, it’s just after the Gala episode. I’ve put my heart and soul and emotions into Roy so a part of my kind of has a distaste for them too (I’m so fking sorry Keiran but theyre just so lazy I cant 😭)

Anyway, it's weird. I've been playing this entire campaign knowing that everybody puts their entire faith and trust into the gods but I just never have.. (or at least Roy doesn't so it's hard for me too). I'm really only following them to benefit myself, and that's exactly what happened but I can't help but feel like Beshaba might actually be trying to save us from this prison of the world they've made (or something poetic like that). I guess I also just think it's because it might be cool that the main villain was the good guys all along and we were the bad guys. Maybe it turns out that I'll be wrong, and I won't even be mad for it. But maybe I'll be right and I'll be the smuggest bitch in the world. Who knows what will happen.

I guess some insight on how I feel abt Roy and the PCs

I guess it doesn't really matter bc at this point in the campaign I've already made my actions and set myself as a villain. Whether or not you guys see me as one is a mystery and I'm both dreading and excited what your pinions on Roy will be as he's made his downfall into a villain.

It's funny, to be honest. With the way I wrote him, I always was going to make him progressively more hatable. He starts off as a trustworthy guy but you eventually find out that he was lying about his past to cover up for himself. He breaks the trust of the players and he uses them for his own progressive goal. But when I wrote him, I thought playing a character like this would be hilarious. I've played him exactly how I imagined, even better than I imagined, but I didn't think I'd feel so attached and heartbroken breaking your trust.

I think for the entire campaign I've believed that it was possible to save him.. maybe just talking to him and getting him to open up a bit more. It might have made all the difference. I'm not blaming my actions as Roy on the players not helping him, bc it definitely was Roy's fault, but I like to think of the alternate universe where I felt less lonely bc despite having friends and a boyfriend there was so many points where Roy just feels so alone and I just felt this deep pit in my chest from that lonliness. It's so dumb and stupid how much love I've put into Roy that I can feel what he feels.

And so all that fighting after Solardome when our friends got kidnapped, all the arguing and the stress and disagreements and then eventually Fox leaving and Ayce not interacting.. it was all just little pieces of sadness and loneliness trickling down and then by that point it was just too late to save him.. I like to think that maybe if it was a bit earlier then he could have got over it. Changed his mind, maybe.

Despite that all and desite feeling stressed and lonely and mad and everything that Roy ever felt, I've absolutely loved writing and playing this genuinely good person and seeing him turn rotten and become a villain on his own without realizing it. I never thought I would ever write a character go from the top and fall to bedrock, or even that I'd do it

well

, but he's so much. I think right now I love it. I love the drama I love the suspense and I love seeing what you'll all think of when you discover the Fall Of Roy.

Basically my Thoughts on Miss Winters

So the campaign moves on and I meet Miss Winters pretty shortly and we make a deal to "Discover How To Bring The Dead To Life". It was shortly after I met Ayce so I was aware it was possible. Roy absolutely had nothing to lose at this point, and he would do anything so he said yes. So for the duration of the campaign we helped each other trade information and most importantly look for a spirit stone.

At Solardome, the President Medeanne asked us to eradicate the witch and her skeletons and provide proof. And Roy wrecklessly put himself at the forefront without thinking. At that point I thought maybe she had lost her mind or something.

And then we unmasked her and she was dead. A rotted corpse.

And after making you all leave; I killed her.

Roy Endoza’s never had difficulty putting down the undead and so one more wasn’t a huge deal, but at the time it felt like such a loss because it was his only connection to information. In the end, it hadn’t of mattered because we retrieved a spirit stone anyway.

It was really only about a session or two later when I realized that I never actually killed Miss Winters. I only killed the corpse she was controlling and that real Miss Winters ran off with two spirit stones.

And so it took a LONG time (or at least in real time lmao) before we ended up going back to Origin, which was the only place I knew where to contact her and she was.. gone.

[alexdmorgan30]

How I Came To "Believe” In Safe Injection Sites

So last night I’m at a town hall event on drug addiction and someone mentions safe injection sites in the audience. My heart begins to pound from having my hand up and hoping to get called on, so I can ask about this, among other topics.  The panel looks around at each other trying to see who will bite first, as it's clearly a controversial topic. Finally, the one “token recovery guy” speaks up, “You know, studies are positive, but people are very opposed to the idea, and the last time we had a discussion about it a fight nearly broke out.”And so, I wanted to get up. And I wanted to have that fight.  But I was taught to cease fighting anything and anyone. What about fighting substance use disorder? I thought my disease was doing pushups? Certainly, this disease is wreaking havoc across our country, especially with the younger generations, and what are we, as a community, prepared to do about it?  Who is fighting on the front lines? While communities claim “not in my backyard” absolution, so do the “anonymous people” who are in recovery in this country. They are told to have no opinion on outside issues. But, to me, this isn’t an outside issue, because the part of me that understands service is the backbone of my recovery, demands something other than pretending that there aren’t options available to people still suffering.  Thankfully, I have met many who are rank and file generals in this fight, however compared to the #’s we could have, it is disappointing, and makes creating change in our communities even more difficult.  Clearly, safe injection options are not a solution, but saying “he or she must not have wanted it enough” when they drop out of the only pathway we are offering, which for mainstream recovery is a 12-step program, is an even less valid answer.  12-step can be successful, alongside other treatment modalities, but it is often seen as “the” solution and not “a” solution.And what about statistics? Research shows that overdose rates decrease around the area of the safe injection site. If this statistic alone isn’t a good enough reason to support them how about that the rate of people who were entering treatment in those areas increased? Look, don’t get me wrong, I was once on the other side of this conversation. I had a lot of misguided beliefs before I entered recovery. I once thought when I was 16 and my drinking career had just begun, that if I could get my dad to give me driving lessons while I was drinking, I wouldn’t have a drinking and driving problem!Clearly being open-minded that my own thinking could be wrong is an important aspect of recovery, and so while I was made to think I should be open-minded about the program, I was indoctrinated to believe recovery was a static black-and-white thing, and that I was a miracle because I didn’t use, and while this may be true, it also underlined another assumption, that those who didn’t make it were not entitled to these miracles.  The idea that there is a level of participation required for someone to enter recovery is not lost on me, but the fact of the matter is, more and more people, especially those from the younger generations, are struggling to find their way in recovery and our answer to the staggering overdose and relapse rates is “they must not have been ready.”  So now what? What do we do with people who aren’t ready? Tell them to go out and give their substances another try? Drugs which could easily kill them in one shot? In my mind, if someone is not ready for abstinence-based recovery it isn’t that they have failed, it’s that they may not have reached that point yet, they may never reach that point, and who are we to say what that should look like.  There are many people who reach a significant “bottom,” only to find themselves using again. Can anyone say, who is honest with themselves, that a “bottom” is what creates recovery? Surely it can help, but there are many who hit that point and beyond, and for those people, while their lives continue to crumble around them, what is available?To me, this is why we need to offer as many solutions to this problem as we can. Not offering alternative methods like safe injection sites, or medically assisted treatment, is like saying to someone who has diabetes they can’t go to the hospital for support, or shouldn’t have to take insulin, they should just use their higher power, and if they can’t clearly, they don’t want to be healthy enough.Change is possible without necessarily being at a point of relying on grace only. While I believe in grace and have my own stance on faith, I believe this “coveted” winners circle of recovery is an issue and is not saving lives, especially amongst young people.Do I believe willingness is an important key to recovery? Certainly, yet how many of us become willing along our path of using? So why would we not want to create opportunities for the people who are using, to not only stay alive, but be near recovery support services?  When someone has a reoccurrence of use, do we no longer consider them in recovery? Therefore, by that logic, anyone who is in active use has the potential to effect this same change in their lives. Hospitals, fire houses, police stations, med express, anywhere, anytime someone wants out of the cycle, it should be as easy as getting a flu shot. It is that easy to get high or drunk.Finding drugs is way easier than finding recovery, unfortunately, we don’t seem to be making much headway on that stat. It shouldn’t be so difficult to get help, and yet it is. Clearly, we have quite a way to go, and so while we stand at the frontlines arguing for much-needed treatment options, housing options, peer support options for people in early recovery, we need to also keep our eye on how we can affect those who haven’t gotten to that point yet.    So, I didn’t get up and fight at the town hall meeting, because I know that the only way change will be affected is if compassion and reason win over misunderstanding and hatred. The only way we can win, and by we, I mean the parents who lost children to overdoses, and by we, I mean the advocates who mentor peers who end up overdosed in alley ways, and never make it home to their families, is if we can convince society that shaming people is not working and giving them opportunities for change are the best ideas we have currently.   I understand clearly that this option is seen as enabling to some. That we are encouraging people to use by providing needles and a safe place to go. The concept is not lost on me, but current models are not working. Prevention talks often fall on deaf ears, and while it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue to try to reach people, it does mean we need to get real about whether we are doing all we can do to help prevent overdose deaths in this country. If someone who is opposed has a better idea of how we can get the people in our communities, who are using illicit substances, out of the shadows and into the light where we can see them and help them, please by all means share it.  To me the big bad wolf in this situation is that we would have to admit as a community, that people in our community, have heroin problems. We don’t like to admit that, and unfortunately it's killing people.  I would argue that whatever motives you have for being opposed to this option, check them against the idea that centralizing use as best as possible helps to a.) measure your community and its needs, b.) provide safety and support to a vulnerable part of the population c.) encourage the next step for people to move on with their lives and d.) minimize the risk to police and health care workers responding to overdoses.  One of these reasons alone in my mind is enough to at least give it a try. Saving just one life means so much, especially if it is your child, your brother, your sister or your parent. Sharing this pain with too many people in too short of a time period is how I came to believe in safe Injection sites. Erik Beresnoy is a father, advocate, and a writer on topics that range from recovery, and spirituality to music and philosophy.  Erik has been an active member of the recovery movement since 2008, when he himself entered recovery, and began to not only repair his life but to also seek help repair his community by working to implement new strategies. His current projects include Empowerment Coaching for the Ammon Foundation, and implementing a transformational program in NYC called Dare to Dream for Synergy Education. He is a certified recovery coach as well as a board member for Rockland Recovery Homes. His other works can be viewed at soberspiritmeditation.com.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://bit.ly/2Dc0qgz

[emlydunstan]

How I Came To "Believe” In Safe Injection Sites

So last night I’m at a town hall event on drug addiction and someone mentions safe injection sites in the audience. My heart begins to pound from having my hand up and hoping to get called on, so I can ask about this, among other topics.  The panel looks around at each other trying to see who will bite first, as it's clearly a controversial topic. Finally, the one “token recovery guy” speaks up, “You know, studies are positive, but people are very opposed to the idea, and the last time we had a discussion about it a fight nearly broke out.”And so, I wanted to get up. And I wanted to have that fight.  But I was taught to cease fighting anything and anyone. What about fighting substance use disorder? I thought my disease was doing pushups? Certainly, this disease is wreaking havoc across our country, especially with the younger generations, and what are we, as a community, prepared to do about it?  Who is fighting on the front lines? While communities claim “not in my backyard” absolution, so do the “anonymous people” who are in recovery in this country. They are told to have no opinion on outside issues. But, to me, this isn’t an outside issue, because the part of me that understands service is the backbone of my recovery, demands something other than pretending that there aren’t options available to people still suffering.  Thankfully, I have met many who are rank and file generals in this fight, however compared to the #’s we could have, it is disappointing, and makes creating change in our communities even more difficult.  Clearly, safe injection options are not a solution, but saying “he or she must not have wanted it enough” when they drop out of the only pathway we are offering, which for mainstream recovery is a 12-step program, is an even less valid answer.  12-step can be successful, alongside other treatment modalities, but it is often seen as “the” solution and not “a” solution.And what about statistics? Research shows that overdose rates decrease around the area of the safe injection site. If this statistic alone isn’t a good enough reason to support them how about that the rate of people who were entering treatment in those areas increased? Look, don’t get me wrong, I was once on the other side of this conversation. I had a lot of misguided beliefs before I entered recovery. I once thought when I was 16 and my drinking career had just begun, that if I could get my dad to give me driving lessons while I was drinking, I wouldn’t have a drinking and driving problem!Clearly being open-minded that my own thinking could be wrong is an important aspect of recovery, and so while I was made to think I should be open-minded about the program, I was indoctrinated to believe recovery was a static black-and-white thing, and that I was a miracle because I didn’t use, and while this may be true, it also underlined another assumption, that those who didn’t make it were not entitled to these miracles.  The idea that there is a level of participation required for someone to enter recovery is not lost on me, but the fact of the matter is, more and more people, especially those from the younger generations, are struggling to find their way in recovery and our answer to the staggering overdose and relapse rates is “they must not have been ready.”  So now what? What do we do with people who aren’t ready? Tell them to go out and give their substances another try? Drugs which could easily kill them in one shot? In my mind, if someone is not ready for abstinence-based recovery it isn’t that they have failed, it’s that they may not have reached that point yet, they may never reach that point, and who are we to say what that should look like.  There are many people who reach a significant “bottom,” only to find themselves using again. Can anyone say, who is honest with themselves, that a “bottom” is what creates recovery? Surely it can help, but there are many who hit that point and beyond, and for those people, while their lives continue to crumble around them, what is available?To me, this is why we need to offer as many solutions to this problem as we can. Not offering alternative methods like safe injection sites, or medically assisted treatment, is like saying to someone who has diabetes they can’t go to the hospital for support, or shouldn’t have to take insulin, they should just use their higher power, and if they can’t clearly, they don’t want to be healthy enough.Change is possible without necessarily being at a point of relying on grace only. While I believe in grace and have my own stance on faith, I believe this “coveted” winners circle of recovery is an issue and is not saving lives, especially amongst young people.Do I believe willingness is an important key to recovery? Certainly, yet how many of us become willing along our path of using? So why would we not want to create opportunities for the people who are using, to not only stay alive, but be near recovery support services?  When someone has a reoccurrence of use, do we no longer consider them in recovery? Therefore, by that logic, anyone who is in active use has the potential to effect this same change in their lives. Hospitals, fire houses, police stations, med express, anywhere, anytime someone wants out of the cycle, it should be as easy as getting a flu shot. It is that easy to get high or drunk.Finding drugs is way easier than finding recovery, unfortunately, we don’t seem to be making much headway on that stat. It shouldn’t be so difficult to get help, and yet it is. Clearly, we have quite a way to go, and so while we stand at the frontlines arguing for much-needed treatment options, housing options, peer support options for people in early recovery, we need to also keep our eye on how we can affect those who haven’t gotten to that point yet.    So, I didn’t get up and fight at the town hall meeting, because I know that the only way change will be affected is if compassion and reason win over misunderstanding and hatred. The only way we can win, and by we, I mean the parents who lost children to overdoses, and by we, I mean the advocates who mentor peers who end up overdosed in alley ways, and never make it home to their families, is if we can convince society that shaming people is not working and giving them opportunities for change are the best ideas we have currently.   I understand clearly that this option is seen as enabling to some. That we are encouraging people to use by providing needles and a safe place to go. The concept is not lost on me, but current models are not working. Prevention talks often fall on deaf ears, and while it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue to try to reach people, it does mean we need to get real about whether we are doing all we can do to help prevent overdose deaths in this country. If someone who is opposed has a better idea of how we can get the people in our communities, who are using illicit substances, out of the shadows and into the light where we can see them and help them, please by all means share it.  To me the big bad wolf in this situation is that we would have to admit as a community, that people in our community, have heroin problems. We don’t like to admit that, and unfortunately it's killing people.  I would argue that whatever motives you have for being opposed to this option, check them against the idea that centralizing use as best as possible helps to a.) measure your community and its needs, b.) provide safety and support to a vulnerable part of the population c.) encourage the next step for people to move on with their lives and d.) minimize the risk to police and health care workers responding to overdoses.  One of these reasons alone in my mind is enough to at least give it a try. Saving just one life means so much, especially if it is your child, your brother, your sister or your parent. Sharing this pain with too many people in too short of a time period is how I came to believe in safe Injection sites. Erik Beresnoy is a father, advocate, and a writer on topics that range from recovery, and spirituality to music and philosophy.  Erik has been an active member of the recovery movement since 2008, when he himself entered recovery, and began to not only repair his life but to also seek help repair his community by working to implement new strategies. His current projects include Empowerment Coaching for the Ammon Foundation, and implementing a transformational program in NYC called Dare to Dream for Synergy Education. He is a certified recovery coach as well as a board member for Rockland Recovery Homes. His other works can be viewed at soberspiritmeditation.com.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://www.thefix.com/how-i-came-believe-safe-injection-sites

[pitz182]

How I Came To "Believe” In Safe Injection Sites

So last night I’m at a town hall event on drug addiction and someone mentions safe injection sites in the audience. My heart begins to pound from having my hand up and hoping to get called on, so I can ask about this, among other topics.  The panel looks around at each other trying to see who will bite first, as it's clearly a controversial topic. Finally, the one “token recovery guy” speaks up, “You know, studies are positive, but people are very opposed to the idea, and the last time we had a discussion about it a fight nearly broke out.”And so, I wanted to get up. And I wanted to have that fight.  But I was taught to cease fighting anything and anyone. What about fighting substance use disorder? I thought my disease was doing pushups? Certainly, this disease is wreaking havoc across our country, especially with the younger generations, and what are we, as a community, prepared to do about it?  Who is fighting on the front lines? While communities claim “not in my backyard” absolution, so do the “anonymous people” who are in recovery in this country. They are told to have no opinion on outside issues. But, to me, this isn’t an outside issue, because the part of me that understands service is the backbone of my recovery, demands something other than pretending that there aren’t options available to people still suffering.  Thankfully, I have met many who are rank and file generals in this fight, however compared to the #’s we could have, it is disappointing, and makes creating change in our communities even more difficult.  Clearly, safe injection options are not a solution, but saying “he or she must not have wanted it enough” when they drop out of the only pathway we are offering, which for mainstream recovery is a 12-step program, is an even less valid answer.  12-step can be successful, alongside other treatment modalities, but it is often seen as “the” solution and not “a” solution.And what about statistics? Research shows that overdose rates decrease around the area of the safe injection site. If this statistic alone isn’t a good enough reason to support them how about that the rate of people who were entering treatment in those areas increased? Look, don’t get me wrong, I was once on the other side of this conversation. I had a lot of misguided beliefs before I entered recovery. I once thought when I was 16 and my drinking career had just begun, that if I could get my dad to give me driving lessons while I was drinking, I wouldn’t have a drinking and driving problem!Clearly being open-minded that my own thinking could be wrong is an important aspect of recovery, and so while I was made to think I should be open-minded about the program, I was indoctrinated to believe recovery was a static black-and-white thing, and that I was a miracle because I didn’t use, and while this may be true, it also underlined another assumption, that those who didn’t make it were not entitled to these miracles.  The idea that there is a level of participation required for someone to enter recovery is not lost on me, but the fact of the matter is, more and more people, especially those from the younger generations, are struggling to find their way in recovery and our answer to the staggering overdose and relapse rates is “they must not have been ready.”  So now what? What do we do with people who aren’t ready? Tell them to go out and give their substances another try? Drugs which could easily kill them in one shot? In my mind, if someone is not ready for abstinence-based recovery it isn’t that they have failed, it’s that they may not have reached that point yet, they may never reach that point, and who are we to say what that should look like.  There are many people who reach a significant “bottom,” only to find themselves using again. Can anyone say, who is honest with themselves, that a “bottom” is what creates recovery? Surely it can help, but there are many who hit that point and beyond, and for those people, while their lives continue to crumble around them, what is available?To me, this is why we need to offer as many solutions to this problem as we can. Not offering alternative methods like safe injection sites, or medically assisted treatment, is like saying to someone who has diabetes they can’t go to the hospital for support, or shouldn’t have to take insulin, they should just use their higher power, and if they can’t clearly, they don’t want to be healthy enough.Change is possible without necessarily being at a point of relying on grace only. While I believe in grace and have my own stance on faith, I believe this “coveted” winners circle of recovery is an issue and is not saving lives, especially amongst young people.Do I believe willingness is an important key to recovery? Certainly, yet how many of us become willing along our path of using? So why would we not want to create opportunities for the people who are using, to not only stay alive, but be near recovery support services?  When someone has a reoccurrence of use, do we no longer consider them in recovery? Therefore, by that logic, anyone who is in active use has the potential to effect this same change in their lives. Hospitals, fire houses, police stations, med express, anywhere, anytime someone wants out of the cycle, it should be as easy as getting a flu shot. It is that easy to get high or drunk.Finding drugs is way easier than finding recovery, unfortunately, we don’t seem to be making much headway on that stat. It shouldn’t be so difficult to get help, and yet it is. Clearly, we have quite a way to go, and so while we stand at the frontlines arguing for much-needed treatment options, housing options, peer support options for people in early recovery, we need to also keep our eye on how we can affect those who haven’t gotten to that point yet.    So, I didn’t get up and fight at the town hall meeting, because I know that the only way change will be affected is if compassion and reason win over misunderstanding and hatred. The only way we can win, and by we, I mean the parents who lost children to overdoses, and by we, I mean the advocates who mentor peers who end up overdosed in alley ways, and never make it home to their families, is if we can convince society that shaming people is not working and giving them opportunities for change are the best ideas we have currently.   I understand clearly that this option is seen as enabling to some. That we are encouraging people to use by providing needles and a safe place to go. The concept is not lost on me, but current models are not working. Prevention talks often fall on deaf ears, and while it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue to try to reach people, it does mean we need to get real about whether we are doing all we can do to help prevent overdose deaths in this country. If someone who is opposed has a better idea of how we can get the people in our communities, who are using illicit substances, out of the shadows and into the light where we can see them and help them, please by all means share it.  To me the big bad wolf in this situation is that we would have to admit as a community, that people in our community, have heroin problems. We don’t like to admit that, and unfortunately it's killing people.  I would argue that whatever motives you have for being opposed to this option, check them against the idea that centralizing use as best as possible helps to a.) measure your community and its needs, b.) provide safety and support to a vulnerable part of the population c.) encourage the next step for people to move on with their lives and d.) minimize the risk to police and health care workers responding to overdoses.  One of these reasons alone in my mind is enough to at least give it a try. Saving just one life means so much, especially if it is your child, your brother, your sister or your parent. Sharing this pain with too many people in too short of a time period is how I came to believe in safe Injection sites. Erik Beresnoy is a father, advocate, and a writer on topics that range from recovery, and spirituality to music and philosophy.  Erik has been an active member of the recovery movement since 2008, when he himself entered recovery, and began to not only repair his life but to also seek help repair his community by working to implement new strategies. His current projects include Empowerment Coaching for the Ammon Foundation, and implementing a transformational program in NYC called Dare to Dream for Synergy Education. He is a certified recovery coach as well as a board member for Rockland Recovery Homes. His other works can be viewed at soberspiritmeditation.com.

[t-urbulence]

you know.... with all said and done... there’s not a single thing I’d change about the ending of Vale. it’s really how it was supposed to end. and once again, if you have any plans of reading it do not read this post cause im going to literally spell out the ending okay. this was especially a warning to my sister x)

so im not exactly good at character development but i am good at relationship developments which might be weird like if i know how to do one thing how cant i know how to do the other... but oh well i dont want to lament more on that i just really like how i did the relationships in the story though not so many of them change.

morlene and vale don’t change too much but i feel like everything that was going to happen between them happened before the story. they weren’t going to love each other any more after anything that happened in the story. morlene’s last words to vale are “i love you, i don’t regret anything” but they weren’t brought on by character growth, she said them because it was her last chance to reassure vale that she shouldn’t feel guilty about anything.

cephas’ character doesn’t really have time to change in a nuanced way though id like to think i gave his moments of growth enough motivation. sure he gets dragged into this whole mess by a complete stranger but the biggest step for him is when he almost causes his and vale’s death by getting themselves tangled up with vera talbot. that’s when he shows vale his house (and when in reac vale tells him her name so that’s a twofer right there). but he and vale are inseparable long before they find out who they are. after all, vale gives up her plans to move to the mainland to help him (not even to save him because at this point cephas isnt even in danger) and then sweet cephas who looks so awkward with a weapon and whose custom-made switch-sword has never seen blood kills, gruesomely, just to get to vale.

cephas and morlene are kind of on the same wavelength and if you think about it, morlene not telling her two best friends about her role in the rebellion just so she wouldn’t interrupt their personal shenanigans is very in-line with how cephas used to be so inward that he never had a single friend in thirty years of his life. and in the end they’re in very similar situations too. cephas lost his sister and morlene lost her love, and though mason will miss vale too, they’re the only two people who feel that way because mason’s love for vale is quite different.

now, mason is the character thats the most alike in both worlds and even though we only see the ending of mason #2′s character arc i can pretty much tell you it’s very similar in both worlds.

mason’s character development also kicked off long before the story started. her journey leads from deciding to be part of the very thing she’s trying to stop just so she can work from close to the fire and eventually end the royal guard’s rule and save the people. the very people who she’s forced to hurt and the very people that don’t know and can’t know that she’s doing all this for them. was there a better way to help them? angel would probably say there was, after all they were a royal witch at one point too but left when they saw what they were being used for.

but in the same time, in the other world the other angel pretty much spells out that they stayed in the guard and helped that way. so clearly, there are situations where that seems like the only option.

so mason’s journey leads from having to work from the shadows to being able to take control from the royal guard and being able to stand in front of the people of caelmoor and telling them exactly how shits gonna fly from now on. to finally be able to communicate with the people and prove to them that she only ever wanted to help. i love her speech so much (i know i wrote it x)) because it’s just so Mason. She doesn’t talk like Zavier used to hold his speeches. She curses, calls Zavier a dickhead, she’s done with having to appear one way when she’s the other.

"This is a democracy," she bellows over a wind-swept land. "And I'm not a king. I'm a guard. My council is guards, scientists, architects, mechanics, engineers, and civilians."

Here we go, I think with childish excitement, compelled to physically rub my hands together.

"And as such, we don't need a castle," Mason says, and I can see from where I sit that she raises both hands in the air.

At her cue, what I assume must be dozens of people standing by the ends of mile-long ropes, drop the tarps covering the mountainside to reveal the high castle, the mountainside, and the entirety of the lower castle covered in scaffoldings from top to bottom and side to side.

"We don't need marble statues," Mason yells and movement starts behind her as a squad of carts ride out from the castle yard, packed full of stuff. I can't see that from this far but it's pretty obvious what's happening. "We don't need golden chandeliers. We don't need velvet curtains, leather armchairs, crystal windows, platinum, silver, diamond, we don't need any of that crap!"

Along with the row of carts riding at walking speed from the castle along the set path, a group of people start following them on foot, each holding an instrument, playing music, marching enthusiastically by the rally that I can hear even without loud speakers.

"The new building will be enough for us to govern the island from, but we'll tear this whole place down bit-by-bit over the next few weeks and sell all of our precious white stone to the mainland if that means every citizen of Caelmoor gets to live in peace and prosperity. I'll tear the whole mountain down if I have to before dooming another person to death because the king likes his castles high, welcome to the fucking parade!"

Loud bumps in the loud speakers and what little movement I can make out imply that Mason literally kicked over her microphone stand as her last words are drowned out by deafening screams and cheers from all over downtown.

what an icon.

and bitch. think of that. before this part she says the landfill in the shanty town will be filled up and the residential cemetery will be extended so nobody has to toss their loved ones in a hole anymore. just imagine the catharsis this woman felt when she realised she can finally do this. i realise that if this was a famous book a lot of people would probably immediately draw parallels between shit like X-Men like “she was just following orders” or whatever but she was saving people. she really was. a lot more people would’ve died if someone else is guard commander instead of mason. yes it sucks and you can blame her, vale did too, but she did the only thing she had the chance to which was minimising casualties.

so thats mason. her main relationship arc is just with the general population of caelmoor. she also has a problem with vale’s neutrality in the beginning which is why they broke up in the first place. when morlene moves the rebellion forward and use it as an opportunity to save cephas and mason tells vale to pick a side finally, she answers “you would be surprised”. thats their growth moment.

now, we covered that morlene doesnt (need to) change much, and that cephas changes in that he finally finds his people. vale warns him not to get stuck in another cage (first his mansion, then ecklehold, then his mission to find a way back to vale) and he’s not. i also love it when he insists that he gets to say goodbye to vale though its at a really unfortunate time. but thats pretty much the first selfish thing you see him do in the whole story and thats vale’s influence.

and how vale changes is also cephas’ influence. they muse quite a bit about how they’re supposed to be the same person and how thats weird because theyre so different but i dont think theyre that different at all, their lives just started in different ways that brought different sides of them. cephas was brought up by neglectful parents who then “left him” completely, of course he grew into an adult all on his own, became a thief and lived in a house all by himself. vale grew up in a loving family even if they were assassin grandparents and sort of absentee parents. she was trained to be social, a chameleon, a conwoman, and extrovert, fit to adapt to any situation.

but whether they’re technically twins, or literally the same person but just different genders, it really doesnt matter. cephas makes vale laugh the first time they meet, then vale reads cephas like an open book later that very same day. they joke and mess around like old friends do when vale is still debating whether she shouldve saved the guy in the first place and cephas has no idea why caelmoor’s most famous assassin would take a liking to him. why anyone would. they just have this instant connection and they open up parts of each other through what they share with each other of themselves after all the traumatic shit that happens to them.

so vale... a thousand identities and faces she shows to the people she uses to get what she wants, tries (and fails) to keep a distance from the only person she ever truly loved then this loser shows up in her life and she realises life can be just like that. you can have friends and its normal. towards the endgame shes at a point where she would rather die than to be separated from them. and then she is.

despite promising cephas that she would live she spends the next few weeks of her new life in her old world preparing to die. when she goes to see zavier #2 before his execution she goes there with the intention to die. she spent her whole life preparing to kill zavier and now she would free him and let him live if it only meant she gets to die. 

"This door leads outside, behind Ecklehold where the stands can't see. I have a bunch of smoke bombs in my bag, you can evade the guards before they know where to look for you. There's a boat by the residential docks that will take you to the mainland. You can disappear and start a new life, just like you planned before. I can give you about seventy-five silvers but I expect you know how to fend for yourself."

I haven't spoken this much since I made the deal with the damn boatman, and boy, my throat is sore.

For a few seconds Zavier can only look at me in disbelief, his wrists held slightly together like he hasn't noticed that I cut him loose.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I need something from you in return," I say and turn the pistol around, so the handle is facing Zavier. "You have to kill me."

The guards outside have started to look for which route Zavier could've take and it's only a matter of seconds before they try getting in here. They might think it's just a locked door so they might not dedicate a whole squad to getting it open but they will get it open.

Zavier looks at the gun then back at me, his forehead wrinkling above his eyebrows.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because they won't do it," I snap at him, but I can't keep my facial muscles from spasming. "And I can't do it. And somebody fucking has to."

Zavier exhales a gentle oh and puts one hand on the handle and another one on my hands. His fingers envelope mine and I can't let go. He keeps eye contact, his light blue iris drawing my glance to him like a magnet, and his dreadful coldness creeps into my head and burns me from the inside.

"Too bad, Vale Callaghan," he whispers, his face so close and his voice so overwhelming to my senses I can no longer see the room around us. "Nobody can save you now."

(in my brain, by the way, patrick warburton is zavier x)) if zavier takes the gun from her and shoots her she wouldnt fight to survive. she wants him to finish it. but then he doesnt and shes now forever doomed to live. even mason #2 acknowledged that being left alive is a punishment for her. so what does vale do? the vale that was asked a thousand and one times to just stay with her friends and the vale that chose to walk away every time. she actively and willingly asks for help, the most selfish thing she can imagine to do as undeserving as she thinks she is of any help. she goes to morlene #2 and tells her everything. and when morlene #2 inevitably asks her to stay because even though theyre different people she’s still morlene, she stays.

and she’s going to be okay.

initially the ending of vale included vale being able to see and talk to cephas every time the blightning happens and the gate opens for a bit even if they cant cross over to hug and stuff. but then i wanted to be cruel(er) and decided celia and eamon would totally invent a way to stop the beacons from creating a gateway, so it does. the fact that the lunar bronze, the same material the beacon is from can cross over the gate was absolute bullshit from my part and its kind of just a reward i wanted to give vale for finally learning her lesson, to not hate herself for letting people help her.

also i really love that she doesnt just stay an assassin in the new world but she also finds a job at tulip’s store AND offers to train the new guard :’D 

oh tulip. speaks the best line in the whole story. he’s the only man i trust.

"I give advice, here," he says and leans in close, almost having to stand on his tiptoes. His breath stinks of spices. "Morlene tell me other world and Caelmoor. Same people but other people."

"You really have this whole multiverse theory down, don't you?"       

"If other Caelmoor Tulip is Tulip, you go find Tulip you ask for help. He help. Ask him to no questions, he will no questions. You are no lonely."

This is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

"Thanks, man," I pat him on the shoulder. "Stay sharp, yeah?"

"Ahha!" he laughs while doing the finger guns at me. "I see you did there!"

"Because you have a blade sharpening business?"

"Very smart!"

[viralhottopics]

X-Plan: Giving Your Kids A Way Out

Friends, as most of you know, I get to spend an hour each week with a group of young people going through addiction recovery. Yes. Young people. Im talking teenagers who are locked away for at least six months as they learn to overcome their addictions. Im always humbled and honored to get this time with these beautiful young souls that have been so incredibly assaulted by a world they have yet to understand. This also comes with the bittersweet knowledge that these kids still have a fighting chance while several of my friends have already had to bury their own children.

Recently I asked these kids a simple question: How many of you have found yourself in situations where things started happening that you werent comfortable with, but you stuck around, mainly because you felt like you didnt have a way out?

They all raised their hands.

Every single one of them.

In the spirit of transparency I get it. Though in my mid-40s, Im still in touch with that awkward boy who often felt trapped in the unpredictable currents of teenage experiences. I cant count the times sex, drugs, and alcohol came rushing into my young world; I wasnt ready for any of it, but I didnt know how to escape and, at the same time, not castrate myself socially. I still recall my first time drinking beer at a friends house in junior high schoolI hated it, but I felt cornered. As an adult, that now seems silly, but it was my reality at the time. Peer pressure was a frivolous term for an often silent but very real thing; and I certainly couldnt call my parents and ask them to rescue me. I wasnt supposed to be there in the first place. As a teen, forcing down alcohol seemed a whole lot easier than offering myself up for punishment, endless nagging and interrogation, and the potential end of freedom as I knew it.

X-Plan

www.BertFulks.com

For these reasons, we now have something called the X-plan in our family. This simple, but powerful tool is a lifeline that our kids are free to use at any time. Heres how it works:

Lets say that my youngest, Danny, gets dropped off at a party. If anything about the situation makes him uncomfortable, all he has to do is text the letter X to any of us (his mother, me, his older brother or sister). The one who receives the text has a very basic script to follow. Within a few minutes, they call Dannys phone. When he answers, the conversation goes like this:

Hello?

Danny, somethings come up and I have to come get you right now.

What happened?

Ill tell you when I get there. Be ready to leave in five minutes. Im on my way.

At that point, Danny tells his friends that somethings happened at home, someone is coming to get him, and he has to leave.

In short, Danny knows he has a way out; at the same time, theres no pressure on him to open himself to any social ridicule. He has the freedom to protect himself while continuing to grow and learn to navigate his world.

www.BertFulks.com

This is one of the most loving things weve ever given him, and it offers him a sense of security and confidence in a world that tends to beat our young people into submission.

However, theres one critical component to the X-plan: Once hes been extracted from the trenches, Danny knows that he can tell us as much or as little as he wants but its completely up to him. The X-plan comes with the agreement that we will pass no judgments and ask no questions (even if he is 10 miles away from where hes supposed to be). This can be a hard thing for some parents (admit it, some of us are complete control-freaks); but I promise it might not only save them, but it will go a long way in building trust between you and your kid.

(One caveat here is that Danny knows if someone is in danger, he has a moral obligation to speak up for their protection, no matter what it may cost him personally. Thats part of the lesson we try to teach our kidswe are our brothers keeper, and sometimes we have to stand for those too weak to stand for themselves. Beyond that, he doesnt have to say a word to us. Ever.)

For many of us parents, we lament the intrusion of technology into our relationships. I hate seeing people sit down to dinner together and then proceed to stare into their phones. It drives me nuts when my kids text me from another room in our house. However, cell phones arent going away so we need to find ways to use this technology to help our kids in any way we can.

Since first publishing this on my personal site, Ive seen an incredible amount of discussion about the pros and cons. Here are some of the questions folks have had:

Doesnt this encourage dishonesty?

Absolutely not. It actually presents an opportunity for you as a parent to teach your kids that they can be honest (something DID come up, and they DO have to leave), while learning that its okay to be guarded in what they reveal to others. They dont owe anyone an explanation the next day, and if asked can give the honest answer, Its private and I dont want to talk about it. Boom! Another chance for a social skill life-lesson from Mom and Dad.

Does this cripple a kid socially instead of teaching them to stand up to others?

I know plenty of adults who struggle to stand up to others. This simply gives your kid a safe way out as you continue to nurture that valuable skill.

What if this becomes habitual?

If youre regularly rescuing your kid, hopefully your family is having some conversations about that.

If you dont talk about it or ask questions, how do they learn?

If youre building a relationship of trust with your kids, theyll probably be the ones to start the conversation. More importantly, most of these conversations need to take place on the FRONT-side of events. Ever taken a cruise? They all make you go through the safety briefing in case the boat sinks. They dont wait until the ships on fire to start telling you about the lifeboats. Talk with them. Let your kids ask questions and give them frank answers.

If theyre not where theyre supposed to be, shouldnt there be consequences?

Lets be honest. A kid in fear of punishment is a lot less likely to reach out for help when the world comes at them. Admitting that theyre in over their heads is a pretty big life lesson all by itself. However, dont get so caught up in all of the details. This isnt a one-size-fits-all scheme. Every parent, every kid, and every situation is unique. What it might look like in your family could be totally different from mineand thats okay.

I urge you to use some form of an X-plan in your home. If you honor it, your kids will thank you for it. You never know when something so simple could be the difference between your kid laughing with you at the dinner table or spending six months in a recovery center or (God forbid) something far worse.

At the end of the day, however, the most important thing is that youre having some open, honest discussions with your kids. Keep building a relationship of trust. This isnt the same world we grew up in. Its not like sneaking a beer at Billys house anymore. Our kids face things on a daily basis thatgiven one bad decisioncan be fatal. Dont believe me? Ive been to funerals for great kids from awesome families.

Friends, its a dangerous world. And our kids are out in it everyday.

Prayers for strength and compassion to the parents out there as we all try to figure out this parenting gigit never gets easy.

Please share this piece. Talk about it with your kids. If this somehow gives just one kid a way out of a bad situation, we can all feel privileged to have been a part of that.

#xplan

Blessings, friends.

This piece originally appeared on www.BertFulks.com

Read more: http://huff.to/2m6fsLP

from X-Plan: Giving Your Kids A Way Out