#he just got REALLY intense because Roy told him to go all out =w=''

[axewchao]

"TIME OUT, KID!! TIME OUT!!!"

Normally, Dusty's very chill, fittingly dubbed "the cool one" among his friends. Quick with a joke, slow to anger, and almost never raises his voice.

Get him talking about wrestling, however... and his true passion will be unleashed.

...I'm sure Roy will be fine =w="

[sassycassie-s-series]

All My Fault 8

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC, BatFam - Damian Wayne/Batman

Rating: PG

Notes: (Masterlist) Little bit of Cloudy’s backstory!

Tag List (Open): @probsjosh @batboys-and-other-messes @nanna-the-batmum @welovegroot

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

^^^^^

It was rare for me to have the Batcave all to myself. But Bruce and Tim had a meeting to attend at Wayne Enterprises so Alfred drove them, and Dick and Jason went to go check on their pal, Roy. Heaven knew where Damian disappeared off to. Probably off walking one of his plethora of pets or something. As far as I knew, Cass was on a mission somewhere and wouldn’t be back for another several weeks under the cover that she was attending school somewhere in Japan—or so I’d gathered from the boys’ chattering. I wasn’t entirely sure they knew where she was either, to be honest.

So I was weirdly alone. In the Batcave.

Singing “Total Eclipse of the Heart” at the top of my lungs in a way I hadn’t sung in a long time.

You’d think the fact that everyone is constantly somewhere else on business of some sort meant that I’d be home alone a lot but nah. Someone was always around asking if I’d turn my music down or not sing so loud because it had been a long night last night and they were trying to sleep or working on a case and needed to concentrate. Depending on who was asking, I often got varying levels of politeness. Dick’s was always, “Oh, Cloudy, could you please turn it down just a little? Please?” Whereas an extremely sleep-deprived Tim once snapped, “Who’s playing that racket?! Shut it off I can’t hear myself think!”

I never begrudged him the breach in manners, though, because I was fairly certain he’d been awake for 72 hours at that point. Usually he was nicer.

Surprisingly, Jason and Damian never used to give me much flak for listening to music loudly and/or singing along. Even though Jason’s room was on the other side of my bathroom from mine so he always got to listen to my shower renditions when he was home. Sometimes I’d get a text from one of them saying something like, “Hey can you turn it down for a little while?” but for the most part they left me alone.

This time, no one appeared to be in the Batcave at all so I sang to my heart’s content. The way I used to when my parents were alive and I wasn’t a ward of Bruce Wayne.

I stopped my song. My parents…

I ran over to the Bat-computer and looked up McCloud Software.

There was a news report from the day I arrived in the future as one of the top results. I clicked on it.

“Today marks the eighth anniversary of the disappearance of Nora McCloud, daughter of Jaqueline and Lyle McCloud of McCloud Software—the company that has taken leaps and bounds in the field of software design and innovation. Jaqueline and Lyle McCloud were tragically killed in a car accident when their daughter was sixteen. She was taken in by her parents’ business partner and good friend Bruce Wayne until her disappearance. Nora was slated to take over as CEO of the family company, only to disappear three days before she could take the reins. Since then, McCloud Software has been run by Lyle McCloud’s close friend and long-time business advisor Michelle Eden...”

I clicked out of the news report over to the stocks of my parents’ company, comparing them to the rest of the market through the eight years I missed when Damian brought me to the future and the timeways collapsed. My mom taught me how to read stocks from the time I was three. The company’s stocks mostly followed the trends—except one dramatic dip in 2021 that quickly climbed back up.

McCloud Software stock drop, 2021, I typed into the search bar.

SOFTWARE SCANDAL! McCloud database hacked, thousands of users at risk. I should have expected nothing less than a scandal to drop stocks.

But that wasn’t the top hit. It was the second-to-top—I just noticed it first because of the caps-locked title. The top hit said, McCloud Software database hack leaks emails that confirm Michelle Eden and Lyle McCloud affair.

“What?!” I demanded quietly, jumping to my feet and storming over to the case where my Cloudburst costume hung. Once I pulled the door to the case open, I threw off my shirt and started undoing my belt to get my skinny jeans off.

“McCloud? What happened to the music? I was enjoying your singing,” Damian remarked, descending the stairs.

I froze, half-naked and out in the open of the Batcave with no shirt and halfway out of my trousers. I yanked my skinny jeans back into place and covered my bra with my arms. “Damian!” I shrieked, whirling to look while keeping my back to the stairs as much as possible. “I thought no one was here.”

“No, I was upstairs designing a new evening gown for your appearance at the charity gala,” he replied, politely looking away from me with a sketchbook under one arm and a cup of tea in his other hand. “Were you… intending to go somewhere?”

I scooped up my shirt and pulled it back on aggressively. I pointed at the computer screen. “What do you know about the scandal that Michelle and my dad had an affair?” I asked.

Damian came down the rest of the stairs, looking at me now that I was decent. There was an intense look in his eyes. He set his sketchbook and cup down before gently resting his hands on my shoulders. “We’ve been keeping an eye on your company for you, I swear,” he said, peering down at me.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” I said. “Did Michelle actually have an affair with my dad?”

Damian hesitated. “We were never certain—”

“Damian,” I warned.

“As far as we could figure, no. It was just slander. Tim pored over both your father and Eden’s writing styles for two days before coming to the conclusion that the emails were planted. They were too different from the usual. However, we must consider the emotional aspect of passion and the fact that people don’t necessarily write the same when they’re exchanging romantic sweet nothings.”

I turned back to my Cloudburst costume, sliding out from under Damian’s hands on my shoulders.

“McCloud, wait,” he protested, grabbing my hand. It sent a charge all the way up my arm. He tugged back on me gently. “Cloudburst cannot go and interrogate the CEO of your company. She may figure out that Cloudburst is invested in this because she is Nora McCloud. You can confront Michelle at the charity ball as yourself if you wish, but not now.”

When I kept looking at my suit, Damian pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. Less like a cage and more like a hug.

“Please,” he added. “I understand that you are upset, but now is not the time.”

I was so surprised that he said “please” that I looked up at him. He was looking down at me intensely, his eyes searching my face with the same soul-piercing look they’d had when he first showed up in my past and seemed to be disbelieving that it really was me.

I sighed. “Alright. But I'm going to ask her about it at the ball, assuming she attends,” I relented.

“It’s likely she will be. For your sake,” Damian said. His hand slid down my arm and he wrapped his hand around mine. His hand was warm and I started wondering if he had some sort of electric powers that he’d never told me about with the charge running up my arm from the contact. “Come upstairs. I’d like to ask your opinion on the designs.”

“Can’t I just go to a store and find an evening gown?” I asked.

“Absolutely not. This is the first event where you will be seen in public in nearly a decade. A custom gown is the only way to go for image’s sake.”

“So you just… what? Casually design evening gowns?”

Damian pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Only for you,” he said, leading me out of the Batcave after taking his cup of tea and sketchbook off the table where he’d set them. “I mean, we have a significant lack of time for a professional designer to come up with one. I seem to recall your tastes in evening gowns. If I have created one you like, it would be quicker to have it made than to hire a professional designer.”

“Right,” I said, unsure of what else to say.

“Tea?” Damian offered as we got out of the Batcave.

“No thanks,” I replied.

“Yes, you don’t like tea, do you?”

“Nope. Tea, coffee, ugh.”

“May I grab you anything else?”

“No thanks.”

“Alright then. Come sit with me.” He led me into the main parlor and indicated I sit on the loveseat while he grabbed his drawing tablet from the sofa. He sat down next to me and placed his sketchbook on his lap. “First: basic designs. I went over the previous evening gowns you have worn to galas and attempted to balance them with your personal tastes and your particular… affinity for grand ballgowns.”

I snickered. “Okay,” I said.

Damian took a sip of his tea, set the cup off to the side, and opened his sketchbook. He leafed through several pages until he found what he was looking for. He wrapped the pages he didn’t need around the back. “This is just the first page,” he said. “Don’t assume these are all of your options.”

“How many pages are there?” I asked, noticing the first page had about six different designs on it.

“Five,” Damian said.

“Five?!” I demanded. “Dami, don’t you think that’s a little… much?”

He blinked at my use of a nickname. “… No?” he said. “Your first event in eight years to the public has to be just right. It’s vitally important that you wear something befitting your status as a high-profile young lady as well as all the attention that will be on you. Every camera will be on you almost all night, so you must look impeccable.”

“… Right,” I said. “Okay. Walk me through.”

“Of course. Now, once you select a few different designs, we’ll work on the coloring, yes?”

“Sure.”

“This one—” He tapped the dress he’d drawn on the top left corner of the page. I leaned a little closer to his side in order to see it better. He wrapped his left arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer so I had a better view with his arm out of the way. “—is intended to have a more form-fitting design, like most evening gowns. Most of what I’ve drawn have short sleeves and high necklines as I seem to recall your distaste for revealing too much skin—especially when you’re injured. This one is supposed to have sequins or jewels across most of it in order to sparkle like the night sky. It ought to be complemented with a sizable diamond necklace due to the wide but high neckline—”

“No thanks,” I interrupted. “I really don’t want to wear grand, expensive jewelry. Makes me so paranoid I'm going to break it.”

“Tt. In that case, perhaps you would prefer this one,” he said, tapping another design on the first page with the eraser end of his pencil. “It maintains the form-fitting, cap-sleeved design, but the neckline is narrower and a tad lower. Nothing too revealing, of course, but it does allow for smaller, less garish jewelry.”

“What are you gonna wear?” I asked.

“A tuxedo. As usual,” he said.

“I figured, but, like, are we doing the high school Prom matchy-matchy thing where my dress and your tie are the same color?”

“Not unless you intend to wear a black evening gown. Which I would not recommend for your first event upon returning. It would seem as though you were mourning something rather than celebrating your return.”

“I was just kinda kidding, Damian,” I said, looking between his eyes and his sketchbook, very aware of his warm, strong arm still around my shoulders.

“Oh. Right,” he muttered. “Regardless, if you like the form-fitting, long style but don’t want the garish jewelry, this is the one I would consider.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Well, we’re nowhere close to finishing, McCloud,” he replied, almost playfully. “We’ve barely begun.”

Next

[artificialqueens]

Pretty Mess Chapter 5 (Chiona)

A/N: well boy has it been a hot minute since I updated this fic. This chapter’s been sitting in my folder for ages, and after nearly a full damn year of not updating, she back. Life just got super busy, and I actually became more of a twitter stan so I wasn’t really on tumblr that much. But, nevertheless, here I am! I’m gonna try write and update a bit more frequently at least until I get this done, because I got a bit attached to this fic to be completely honest. Hope y'all enjoy xx

TW: s*lf h*rm mention, weed, swearing

Roy didn’t hear from him again for another two weeks. Although upset, he decided to leave Danny be for a while, so he didn’t seem too eager. But then a week and a half went by, and Roy started to get frustrated. It seemed as though Danny was ignoring him. Obviously, the kiss had bothered him to the point that he needed to keep his distance.

The events of that night continued to play out in Roy’s head. Everything from his comforting Danny to the feeling of his soft, plump lips against his. The look of disappointment he could have sworn that Danny had when he said that they should forget the kiss ever happened (however this was probably just Roy’s mind playing tricks on him). He didn’t regret the kiss, not one bit. He’d been wanting to kiss Danny for a long time, and it felt amazing to finally let out all the pent-up emotions he’d had toward the younger queen. But what he did regret was that he had clearly taken it too far. Danny had jolted away so quickly as soon as Roy reached down for his pants that Roy thought he had accidentally hurt him or something. But that wasn’t the case. What confused him, however, was that Danny had taken off both of their shirts, instigating something a little bit more than a make out session, yet pulled away so fast, and so suddenly. Like he was repulsed. Roy had mulled the entire situation over, unable to stop himself from thinking about it, and he realised that Danny probably had a reality check. Sobered up a little bit, and realised what it was that he was doing. And Roy would be lying if he said that the thought of that didn’t make his heart sink.

The only other thing he regretted was not asking more about that fucking blade. Sure, he didn’t want to pry anything out of Danny, or make him uncomfortable. But there was clearly something wrong; Danny was normally really emotional ; he cried a lot; and often thought with his heart and not his head. And it was understandable for him to be upset, since he’d just had a mental breakdown, which had been filmed and would most likely end up being broadcast on television. However there was something off about Danny, like there was something more there that he wasn’t telling anyone. And Roy knew that this blade had something do to it, judging by the way Danny completely froze when he brought it up. And as much as he didn’t want to think about it, the first thing that sprung to mind was that Danny could be cutting himself. It made lots of sense for this to be the case; the blade in the backpack and Danny’s clear nervousness when Roy asked about the blade suggested it. Even though this was most likely what was the problem, Roy desperately hoped that this wasn’t the case. Danny deserved the world, and Roy didn’t want to see him anything but happy.

Roy caught himself smiling thinking of him; thinking of his gorgeous smile and infectious laugh; his carefree, messy attitude that Roy admired; how gorgeous his green eyes were. Holy fuck, he was in deep for this boy and he was only just realising it now. The feelings had always been there, he just never admitted them to himself until that damn kiss. But when Danny pulled away, that’s when Roy knew that he could confirm that these feelings were more than just a little crush. Never before had he felt such disappointment, such a strong feeling of emotional frustration, the feeling of a strong lump forming in his throat as he choked back tears. Because he knew. He knew that Danny saw him only as a friend and this bothered Roy more than he cared to admit.

Roy was in the middle of a rollercoaster of emotions and it was fucking exhausting. And on top of all of this, he was worried about Danny. At first, he thought that he was just distancing himself from Roy, especially after the kiss. But then, after two weeks of Danny being inactive on social media, and multiple texts from some of the All Stars 2 queens asking after him due to him not responding to their messages, the only thing on Roy’s mind was whether Danny was okay. And before he knew it, Roy had found himself sitting in his car outside the front of Danny’s apartment.

He was debating with himself as to if he should go and see Danny. He didn’t want to seem like he was pushy or anything, he just needed to know that his friend was okay. And despite the somewhat positive note that their last meeting had ended with, Roy was terrified to confront Danny. However, his legs were carrying him to the front door before he could even consider driving away.

As he knocked on the door, his breathing grew uneven. After a few seconds, he heard movement behind the door and his breath hitched in his throat. Quickly, he tried to relax his face a bit and even out his breathing. Never let a bitch see you sweat.

The front door swung open, and Roy was immediately met with the strong smell of weed and the sound of David Bowie being played over the speakers… He looked up to see Danny, and he could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat. His black hair was dishevelled and messy, yet adorable, and he had some intense stubble. His face was slightly red, and a little bit puffy, bags circling his eyes, but he somehow still looked beautiful. To top it off he was wearing long pyjama pants and an oversized t shirt, and he looked so incredibly cozy.

Danny’s expression softened slightly when he saw that it was Roy on the other side of his door.

“Hey, chola” Roy said, with a small smile.

“Hey, bitch” Danny smiled, running a hand through his messy hair and leaning slightly against the doorframe.

“Good to see you’re still alive, I was coming over here to check on you” Roy immediately justified, “Obviously you haven’t been responding to anyone’s texts because you’ve been too busy turning your house into a hot box, Laganja”.

Danny pulled a face.  

“My phone’s been on airplane mode, you asshole,” he laughed, with a smile that seemed more like a grimace, “Come in.” Danny grabbed Roy’s hand and pulled him inside.

“Why’s it been on airplane mode?” Roy asked, noticing the multiple cigarette butts and empty beer bottles littered all around the house, mostly on the floor of the lounge room.

Danny slumped down on the couch and attempted to clean up a bit.

“I’ve just been having a bit of a creative rush, I needed space to concentrate”

“Did you get anything done?” Roy asked, finding a place to sit.

“Yeah, I started writing a few songs!” Danny’s eyes lit up, immediately stopping his cleaning quest and dropping the beer bottles back on the coffee table again. Roy couldn’t help but smirk. “Do you wanna hear?”

Roy bit his lip to suppress a grin.

“Of course queen! I can pay you with love instead of money for once, being your sugar daddy can get a bit boring sometimes”

Danny laughed and hit him lightly on the shoulder, but Roy was instantly kicking himself for referring to himself as Danny’s ‘sugar daddy’, especially after what happened the last time they saw each other. Danny didn’t seem to take any notice of it, however, and Roy breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay, so I don’t know what to call this one yet but I’m really proud of what I have so far, I just have a verse and the chorus-”

“Just sing, chola” Roy jokingly snapped, a warm smile on his face as he interjected the younger boy’s blabbering.

Danny, although not showing it, was incredibly nervous. This song was  written about Roy, and Danny really hoped that he wouldn’t pick up on it. But he was too proud of what he had written to keep it hidden away, so he was going to take the risk. When his breathing calmed down, he opened his mouth and sang.

Road trip when I lost my crown

To get away from this crazy town

He never seemed to look my way

My lover stays with his poker face…

You know how they say I only have eyes for you?

Well you better be looking back at me babe…

Said you better be looking back at me babe

You know how they say I only have eyes for you?

Well you better be looking back at me babe…

Said you better be looking back at me babe

It always shocked Roy when Danny started singing. He would always forget how amazing his voice was until he heard it again, and every time he did he was caught by surprise. And hearing it like this; singing such a beautiful song…it left Roy absolutely floored.

“That’s all I’ve got so far” Danny told him, biting his lip and waiting for feedback.

“Wow, Danny…that was amazing” Roy complimented, breathless, looking up at a beaming Danny.

“I’m so fuckin proud of myself, you have no idea”

“That’s so great, willow” Roy grinned “But just please don’t disappear like that again; I was worried about you”

“I’m sorry” Danny sighed, comfortingly squeezing Roy’s shoulder “I just needed some space”

“I know.“ Roy said softly, “But, Queen, I got so many texts asking if I knew whether you were okay, I couldn’t even get through them all”

“Oh shit, really?”

“No one’s heard from you for two weeks, Danny”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t really think too much of it” Danny frowned, reaching over to his phone and switching off airplane mode for the first time in 2 weeks. Immediately, it erupted with thousands of notifications, and Danny’s eyes widened.

“I don’t see how you managed to go without your phone for so long, that’s some impressive shit, Danny” Roy scoffed sarcastically. Danny hummed in agreement, with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. Roy assumed he was focusing on something on his phone, so he didn’t think anything of it.

Danny was telling the truth; he had spent the last two weeks writing music. But it wasn’t the whole truth. The past fortnight had consisted of him sleeping, moping around, chain smoking (and then getting upset when he struggled to hit the high notes), drinking, eating junk, cutting most days, and spending most of the time completely zoned out. And on top of all of this, he hadn’t showered in a while, and probably smelled like death. He wasn’t going to tell Roy, though; he had done so much to comfort Danny recently, and he didn’t want to be weak in front of someone so strong.

“I better let people know I’m not dead” Danny scoffed, picking up his phone and trying to avoid the oncoming silence between them.

“Good idea, queen. Twitter’s been going off wondering where the hell you disappeared to”

As Danny typed up a tweet, Roy’s mind was whirring. How long was it going to be before they talked about what happened between them? Was it even something they needed to talk about, or was he just reading to far into the situation? Was it just him feeling the sexual tension between them? He didn’t want to ruin the mood; even though Roy could tell it was a façade, Danny seemed happy and vibrant, and he didn’t really want to make things uncomfortable. So, albeit hesitantly, Roy kept his mouth shut.

“Do you have any plans for today?” Danny asked, breaking his train of thought.

“No, I don’t think so, why?”

“We’re having a movie day” Danny announced, putting down his phone and pulling Roy over to the couch before he could protest.

“Maybe I should clean up a little bit first, though” Danny mused, beginning to gather up the multiple empty beer cans strewn across the room.

“You think, queen? It looks like something blew up in here” Roy stated dryly, proceeding to help his friend clear everything away, “How the fuck do you live like this?”

“I’m a messy slut” Danny winked.

After they had cleaned the living room, Danny was walking toward the couch cradling a six pack of beers and a large bowl of popcorn.

“There you go, chola” Danny handed Roy a beer and carefully sat down on the couch.

“You can choose what we watch, queen, I don’t mind” Roy normally wouldn’t be so quick to let Danny choose what they watched, most of their movie nights involving lots and lots of negotiations, but Roy wanted to make him happy. They finally decided on Halloween (Danny’s favourite move), and as the credits started an uncomfortable silence suddenly fell over the pair of them. And what made it so uncomfortable was that they were sitting on either end of the couch, as far away from each other as possible.

Roy shifted in his spot, nervously taking quite a large sip of his beer. The strange silence was obviously the product of their kiss two weeks ago; otherwise they’d be cuddled up on the couch together, a calming and comfy silence shared between the two of them, just like normal. But because of the kiss, they were as far away from each other as they possibly could be on the couch. The kiss was playing on the back of both of their minds, and the thought of it was exactly what made the air awkward. It was almost like they were scared to get too close to each other, afraid of what would happen if someone initiated any type of contact, even if it was platonic.

And Danny didn’t like the atmosphere one bit. He quickly became jittery and anxious, bouncing his leg up and down as he tried to focus on the movie. For some reason, Roy’s silence made Danny assume that he was mad or something about the fact that he had pulled away from the kiss. And Danny didn’t like the thought of Roy being upset at him one bit. Unable to shut his mind up, he abruptly rushed out of the room, returning with a bong and some of his weed stash. As he placed everything down on the coffee table, Roy watched his shaky hands set everything out.

“Chola, you do realise that if you keep smoking that shit you’re gonna wreck your voice” Roy commented, watching Danny lean his back against the couch as he ground the weed up.

“I know” Danny snapped. Roy opened his mouth to respond, but was left lost for words. Danny obviously needed to smoke to calm himself down, so Roy decided not to comment.

Danny visibly relaxed as soon as he took a hit; his shoulders drooping lazily; his breathing slowing and eyes closing. But Roy couldn’t figure out why he seemed so on edge in the first place; normally he was relaxed when they were around each other, Danny always saying that Roy was one of the few people who could keep him calm. Jesus Christ, Roy thought, This kiss has really fucked things up. He hoped and prayed that things were only awkward because it was still fresh in their minds.

The smell of weed immediately filled to room, and Roy screwed up his nose.

“Sorry. I’m just a bit on edge” Danny admitted, distracting himself by blowing smoke rings into the air.

“I can tell. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, fine” Danny gave him a reassuring smile. “Come here” Danny grabbed his phone and pulled Roy in close to him, holding it up to take a picture of them. Roy pouted his lips and used the picture as an excuse to nestle into Danny as close as he could. When Danny took the picture, he kept his head resting against Roy’s chest as he captioned it.

‘Movie nights with this fucker @thebiancadelrio’

Roy grinned softly at the caption, watching as Danny posted it to his Instagram. He kept his head resting against Roy’s chest and brought his attention back to the movie. The weed had calmed him down to a point that he was feeling brave.

His body tensed up at first, but eventually Roy casually looped his arm around Danny’s waist and snuggled into him. And in that moment, everything was perfect. Neither of them were uncomfortable. Neither of them were unhappy. They were just wrapped around each other, savouring the intimate moment.

Danny was trying to watch the movie, but his mind was focusing on how lovely it felt to be cuddled up next to Roy like this. He had a warm feeling across his chest from the weed, and he was contentedly sleepy, eyes half shut. The atmosphere had suddenly gone from awkward to comfortable, and Danny was so fucking glad. His mind was racing, however, struggling to steer his thoughts away from Roy to focus on the film he’d already seen so many times. It was much easier said than done. After debating with his head, Danny closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck it, he thought, turning his head to face Roy.

“Roy” Danny asked, looking up at the older man. Roy stared down at him with a warm smile on his face. Danny stared at him like he was trying to memorise how his face looked, smiling softly as his eyes scanned the dark brown eyes, olive skin and dark stubble on his jaw.

“Yeah?” Roy asked, eyes unable to move away from Danny’s.

Before Danny could change his mind, he quickly pressed his lips against Roy’s in a small peck, leaving them there for a little while. When Danny felt Roy softly kiss back, his stomach lurched, and he tried his hardest to suppress a grin. Then he broke the kiss with another peck, before whipping his head back around to focus on the movie again, nestling his head back into Roy’s shoulder, trying to hide the massive smile on his face. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, moving in closer.

Roy’s eyes widened, completely taken by surprise. Grinning like an idiot (and grateful that Danny’s back was turned so he couldn’t see the look on his face), Roy bent down and pressed a kiss to Danny’s forehead before shifting slightly and nestling into him.Roy had never had such a blissful moment in his life.

[queenwinry]

To Save a Life-Part 2

Pairing: Royai

Rating: T

Words: 2944

Part 1, Part 3

A/N: Here’s part two of the Firefighter!Roy au!! I’ve decided I’m going to make this three parts so you guys will be getting one more. This has been so fun to write! Once again, it’s based off @thesilentwatcher‘s awesome piece which you find here. Hope you guys like the next part!

The light from the pentip was blinding and Riza had to resist the urge to squint against it. Her head still hurt like the devil, but she tried to remain cooperative for the exam.

“Alright, pupils are accommodating to light appropriately, that’s good. Now, follow my finger with your eyes and don’t move your head,” the soft voice of the young doctor said as she moved her index finger in the shape of an ‘H’, and Riza dutifully followed her instructions.

Dr. Hughes continued the rest of her exam, checking various seemingly benign features to make sure the young woman hadn’t sustained any neurological damage from the accident. According to her nurses, she had been unconscious for a good deal of time before she came to in the ambulance, and all the others she talked to in charge of her care worried for some type of brain damage.

Riza wringed her hands together as the soft-spoken doctor finished up the exam, anxious to know the results. The minute she looked on the other woman’s calm, smiling face, a good deal of her fears dissipated.

“Good news, my exam shows no abnormalities, which means there’s no neurological damage to speak of. We’ll need to keep you for observation a little longer to make sure that doesn’t change, but I’m hopeful given what I’ve seen here and what we’ve gotten back from the scans that you walked away with nothing more than a minor concussion.”

Riza let loose a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding in.

“Thank you, Dr. Hughes. That’s good to hear.”

The woman with the short, dirty-blonde hair smiled at her and turned to write something down on the clipboard she had brought in. “You’re a lucky woman, Ms. Hawkeye. From what my husband told me, it was quite the nasty crash.”

Riza immediately perked up at that statement, though she made sure not to move too much for fear of hurting her side. Though she hadn’t sustained any major injuries, she still had quite a few bruised ribs, not to mention the countless other gashes and bruises, plus a badly sprained wrist. “Your husband’s the police chief right?”

The doctor, Gracia Hughes, nodded her head. “Yes, he was one of the first ones on the scene. He said the car was a mangled bit of metal by the time they saw it, all except for the driver’s side. It’s miraculous, really.”

Riza’s eyes drifted to the rain still steadily falling against her hospital room window. “Y-yes...I suppose I am pretty lucky.”

Immediately pausing in her furious writing, the doctor eyed her patient’s quiet form with renewed interest. Cocking her head and setting aside her notes, she spoke up. “You don’t sound so sure,” she remarked.

Immediately Riza’s eyes were back on the doctor, and she widened them slightly before attempting to remain unphased. She could tell Dr. Hughes had noticed though.

Gracia let out a calm sigh before she sat down at the foot of Riza’s bed. “Not all doctors are good listeners, but I would consider myself one. I got a bit of time before I have to see my next patient, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

Riza thought about staying quiet, but Gracia’s soft eyes lulled her enough into spilling her guts. There was just something about the kind doctor that made Riza trust her, despite everything.

She let out a hefty sigh and began. “I...I shouldn’t have survived that crash. I didn’t deserve to.”

Riza wasn’t looking at her to notice, but Dr. Hughes lifted an eyebrow curiously at her words. “What does that mean?”

“I was being stupid. I should never have even gotten in the car.”

Gracia’s eyes narrowed curiously. “What are you talking about? Your toxicology report came back clean.”

Riza shook her head. “No, not that. I wasn’t...driving illegally. I just wasn’t...in the right mindset. Driving through the mountains was an obviously poor choice.”

Dr. Hughes made a noise of understanding and beckoned Riza to continue her story. “There’s just been a lot going on in my life. I’ve gained a bunch of new responsibilities lately and...I’m not sure I’m as well equipped to handle them as everyone thinks I am.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your grandfather being the President would it?” the doctor asked, only somewhat seriously.

Riza flashed her an ‘are you serious’ look and Gracia smiled genially. “Unfortunately, you can’t choose who you’re related to, Ms. Hawkeye. Every human being ever has had to come to terms with that reality. I can’t even begin to understand the stress of yours in particular, but I do know a thing or two about having a lot of responsibility.”

Riza still didn’t look convinced, so Gracia continued. “I’m an ICU doctor, Ms. Hawkeye. People’s lives are quite literally in my hands every time I come into work. My husband is the head of police. And, as if our combined professions weren’t enough, we have a three-year-old daughter. ‘Responsibility’ doesn’t even begin to describe what we’ve willingly taken on. But...if we let it completely consume us, we’d just burn out. As I said, I can’t claim to know what you must have to deal with, but I don’t think it’s ever healthy to dwell on it this much. And...that’s my piece.”

Dr. Hughes stood from the end of the bed after her mini speech, Riza eyeing her with wide eyes as she moved. She certainly hadn’t been expecting a lecture quite like that when she’d revealed what had been on her mind to the kind doctor. Her life the past few weeks (and really the past few years) had been one unimaginable hurdle after another. She had really thought no one could even begin to understand, but perhaps taking Dr. Hughes’ perspective into account would be worth it.

“Don’t think everything you do is your fault. Going for a drive to clear your raging mind is hardly a crime, and given how lucky you are to even be alive right now, I don’t think the accident happened to punish you.” The doctor gave her one more reassuring smile and turned to exit the room. “You should get some rest now. It’s clearly been quite an intense 24 hours for you.”

“W-wait!” Riza immediately called as a thought occurred to her. Gracia stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned curiously back toward her patient. “Yes?” she asked.

Now that the opportunity had presented itself, suddenly the young woman became nervous, as a dusting of red overtook her cheeks and she avoided her doctor’s stare. “I-I was just wondering. Since your husband is the police chief...do you know anything about the person who rescued me?”

Ah, yes, the man with the dark eyes she had practically lost herself in who held the side of her face and called her beautiful in relief while they rode in the ambulance. She hated herself for it, since he was probably just doing his job, but she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way he gently brushed his hand against the side of her face to calm her down once she realized what had happened, or the way he had stayed with her even when they arrived at the hospital to make sure she got the proper care, or how one of the nurses whispered that he’d remained there in the waiting room, periodically checking up on her condition, until he was forced to report back at the firestation.

No, she most definitely could not bring herself to stop thinking about her brave rescuer. The man who had literally scaled half a mountain to bring her to safety. Maybe it made her old-fashioned, but there was still something so striking about him, and she just couldn’t get her mind off of it.

Of course, she quickly reminded her raging mind, she only wanted to know more about him so she could thank him properly.

Gracia smiled knowingly and nodded her head, and Riza wasn’t sure if she should be happy or not. “Yes, I do. He’s a friend of both of ours.”

Gathering her nerves and telling herself how foolish she was being for caring this much, Riza asked, “Would it be possible to get his contact information? I think it’s only right to at least thank the man who went through so much trouble for me,” she said, by way of explanation.

The doctor’s smile softened even further, and Riza thought she detected a knowing twinkle in her eyes. “Sure, no problem. I think he’d like to make sure you ended up alright anyway.”

Riza breathed out, trying and failing to calm the erratic pace her heart had suddenly acquired. “Thank you, doctor.”

---

Roy grimaced when Chief Hakuro’s fist slammed down on his desk. The experienced firefighter felt like a child being reprimanded by a principal as he sat and listened to his superior’s frustrations.

“The bottom line is you broke protocol, Mustang! Riding in the ambulance and staying at the hospital while on call is not part of your job description. You should’ve reported back to your team.”

“Sir, I-,”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You have a very specific and very important job, Mustang. And coincidentally, it doesn’t involve dealing with someone after they’ve been rescued. Honestly, she couldn’t have been that pretty.”

Roy tightened his jaw at that particular jab and made sure his boss didn’t see him clench his fists, but he remained silent against the onslaught, all the same.

“This rescue was enough of a headache already and you failing to do what you’re told only makes it worse. Tell me, Hercules, did you happen to catch the name of your damsel in distress?”

Roy’s face twisted in confusion at the fire chief’s words. Her name? What the hell did her name have to do with this?

“Uhh, no, sir. Why does that matter?”

Hakuro smiled but it was anything but genuine. His eyes still flashed menacingly and Roy had to remind himself for the hundredth time since he walked in the room not to wilt under the heat of the glare.

“Because, wouldn’t you know it, that pretty girl you rescued off the side of the cliff is the President’s granddaughter.”

Immediately Roy’s eyes widened. “W-what? Are you serious?”

“A Ms. Riza Hawkeye was your unfortunate crash victim last night, and yes, she’s part of the First Family. Apparently she tries to stay under the radar because she doesn’t want people to treat her differently or some shit, but I got a call from higher ups in the government not too long ago. What happened has become a matter of national importance.”

Roy remained still as he processed all this new information. Suddenly, his strange insistence on seeing her rescue through quite literally to the end became a lot more complicated. What if someone had recognized her? What if they made assumptions about him? Was he going to have some posse of men in black suits with headsets in their ears knocking on his door and interrogating him because he dared interact with her?

“So...as you can see, Captain,” Hakuro continued with a sneer. “You failing to do your job exactly like you’re supposed to puts me in a bit of a tricky spot. And I don’t take too kindly to my subordinates acting out like this, especially not the ones in charge of a good portion of the brigade.”

Roy had half a mind to tell this guy to screw off, but he knew that would bring a boatload of trouble on top of the mountain he already had accumulated. So, he held back any snide comments, stood at attention and finally said, “I’m sorry for disobeying your orders, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“Yeah, it better not. Because if it does, you’ll be dealing with a fire a hell of a lot nastier than the ones you’re so used to. Now, get out and get back to work,” Chief Hakuro spoke dismissively, waving his hand dramatically for Roy to leave. The young firefighter was only too happy to oblige.

As soon as he was out of the office and had closed the door behind him, he let out a breath and wiped the sweat from his brow. He had not been expecting one little detour from his usual job to land him in such hot water. He still wasn’t entirely sure why he had stayed with the woman (this Riza Hawkeye), but there had just been something about her that made him want to make sure, absolutely sure, that she was safe and taken care of. Getting Gracia assigned as her doctor had only happened because of his persistence.

But of course, she just had to turn out to be the President’s granddaughter. Dandy.

“Woof, that didn’t sound pleasant,” a new voice spoke up, bringing Roy out of his thoughts. He lifted his head in confusion and found his best friend leaning up against one of their trucks, a teasing smile on his face.

Immediately Roy frowned at the sight of him. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Chief got ya for sticking with the pretty girl, huh?”

If possible, Roy’s frown worsened as he brushed past his friend and walked further into the station.

“Can’t really blame you for it. I didn’t get a great look at her, but even I could tell she was really easy on the eyes. Never really pegged you as someone who would go after a person you rescued, though.”

Roy stopped and swiveled in place, fixing the full heat of his glare on his gloating ‘best friend’. “I wasn’t ‘going after’ her. You think I’d be that selfish to only care about somebody because they were attractive? Something told me I should help her out, and I’m glad I did.”

“You mean because of who her grandfather is?” Hughes asked, crossing his arms.

Roy’s eyes widened before they narrowed and he pulled his friend aside to avoid any listening ears. “How do you know about that?”

“We got a call at our department as well. Her security wants to keep this all under wraps. Apparently she had escaped from them when she drove off the cliff. They don’t want the press to think they’re bad at their jobs.”

Roy scoffed. “They are bad at their jobs if they’d put her in such a dangerous situation. Does Gracia know about this?”

“She does, but only because I told her. I actually just got off the phone with my beautiful wife. She says your presidential rescuee wants to meet you.”

Roy’s body stilled at this bit of information. He tried to keep a nonchalant air about him, but he knew his best friend was too attuned to his emotions not to notice it. “Why does she want to do that?”

“To thank you for your courageous act of bravery, I’d assume.”

Roy scowled and looked away. “She doesn’t need to thank me. That’s my job.”

“That’s what I said, but according to Gracia she’s very insistent. Do you want me to get you two in touch?”

The raven-haired firefighter paused as he weighed his friend’s proposition. On the one hand, he’d get to see the woman who had been on his mind continuously since he’d pried her out of her mangled car. He still had no idea why he couldn’t stop thinking about her (she was pretty, but he’d been with countless beautiful women) and it was beginning to freak him out that she had enraptured him like this, especially given her high-profile family. Of course, on the other hand, he’d just gotten chewed out by his boss for making sure she was okay in the first place. He just knew that if he got more involved, Hakuro would come down on him like a ton of bricks. And, despite how curious about this Riza woman he was, his job was everything to him. He was good at it and he enjoyed it. He had a hunch that Hakuro would hold enough of a grudge to not only dismiss him from the brigade, but also tell other departments not to let him on.

No, this was beginning to become too risky. He’d already gotten far more involved than he should have.

He shook his head and answered. “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea. Hakuro is already on my case for staying at the hospital with her. If he heard we met again, he’d bring even more shit down on me.”

Hughes pondered this. “Yeah, probably. But that doesn’t mean he has to find out.”

Roy’s eyes widened fractionally and he turned back toward his smirking friend. “What the hell does that mean?”

“What I said it does. Yeah, Hakuro probably wouldn’t appreciate you getting friendly with the President’s granddaughter, but your best friend is a chief of police. There are ways to be secretive about this.”

Roy contemplated his friend’s words and eyed him skeptically. “You’d really help me keep it under wraps.”

Hughes scoffed. “Come on, Roy, we’ve known each other long enough to not make this a big deal. I’m your friend, and I can tell you really want to talk to her again. I can see it in your eyes,” he spoke with a slight wiggle of his eyebrow and Roy inwardly groaned at the sight of it.

“It’s pretty risky,” Roy reminded him, though he had already made his decision.

Smiling slyly, Hughes answered. “You’re a firefighter, Roy. I think ‘risky’ is what you do best.”

[thoughtlesstales]

Come Home to Me | Chapter Five

Title: Come Home to Me | Chapter Five Word Count: 2515 Rating: Mature Relationship: Oliver Queen x Felicity Smoak Characters: Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen, Sara Lance, John Diggle, Thea Queen, Roy Harper, Tommy Merlyn Triggers: Angst, violence 

A/N: So this is the intended last chapter to this series, I found it in the archives tonight - Something I wrote I few years back! If there is enough interest for another chapter then I’m more than happy to write it, as I’ve had a few thoughts since finding it! Let me know!!

It had been three hours, three long and horrid hours since they had come back from the warehouse. Three hours since Felicity had put her training to use and saved the man she loved. Three hours since he found out he was in fact a father. Three hours since he shut her out and locked himself away. Three hours and Felicity still didn’t know what to do.

“Okay so I admit telling Oliver that Cohen was his in that setting, with everything that happen probably wasn’t my greatest idea,” Felicity admitted cringing as she played the scene back over in her head.

~Start of Flashback~

“Cohen is your’s Oliver!” Felicity shouted her voice ringing around them in the empty space of the warehouse. The hood came down and Felicity saw the look of fear and surprise on his face. Had he really never considered that the blonde haired, brown eyes boy at home was in fact his own son?

“How?” he choked, his left hand scrubbing over his whiskery chin.

“I don’t think you of all people need a biology lesson,” Felicity said flatly, her arms crossing over her chest. She was obviously still in her ‘Superhero’ costume which was still giving her power of confidence, not that she lacked it before, but she knew is she had been plain old Felicity Smoak, she would want to handle this conversation diplomatically and calmly.

“Sara, I think we could do with some air,” John chirped up touching the blonde’s shoulder and tipping his head towards the door.

“Air? Sounds fantastic!” she nodded hurriedly taking the arm Dig offered her and leaving the building at quick pace.

Felicity and Oliver watched the pair leave, welcoming the privacy, well as much privacy as you could get with god knows how many dead or uncious men littering the floor around them.

“When?”

“When what? When was slept together or when was he born?”

“Both,” Oliver answered.

“That night, a couple of weeks before you left, you got beat up pretty bad and we were both a bit shaken,” Felicity said answering the first question. “January 31st, he was born a month early.”

“Was he okay?” Oliver asked quickly finally moving to look at Felicity and not the ground in from of him.

“He was fine, he was in intensive care for a couple of days while they checked him over, but other than fine,” she smiled softly. She wanted nothing more than to get back to the motel and change back into her own clothes, as awesome as this was, she was tired now; actually exhausted summed it up better.

“Good,” he nodded swapping his bow to his other hand. “Why didn’t you say?”

Felicity’s jaw dropped and she wanted to do nothing else but punch him, hard. “You think I knew?!” she screeched her voice reaching decibels a dog would hear. “I was two months pregnant when I found out and it wasn’t even me to figure it out!” she hissed, her voice was laced with hurt and anger. “Sara was the one who put the puzzle together, I was too focused on you to see what was happening with my own body!”

“Uhh, Felicity, Oliver?” Sara’s head popped up in the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt, but we have incoming,” Looking towards the empty holes in the walls of the warehouse Felicity could see the blue and red flashing  lights. Cops. “Let’s go,” she said turning on her heel and leaving Oliver stood there.

~End of Flashback~

“Okay I screwed up!” admitting defeat she banged her head against Sara’s shoulder repeatedly . The two girls had moved outside to give Oliver and Dig some space, after they had left the warehouse Oliver had gone silent and when he did speak it was to Dig. She couldn’t blame him really, she had dropped a pretty big bomb on him. But she honestly couldn’t believe he thought she had moved on, though she had forgotten about him and everything they had together. Sara who was silently laughing hugged her back smoothed out her hair over her shoulder.

The two girls had become much like sisters over the years, Felicity didn’t know what she would do without and since she had never had a sister, but always secretly wanted one, it worked out well.

“I thought it was excellent, that walk, they way and how you said it, very Felix,” she teased playfully trying to lighten the mood. Groaning Felicity sat back and looked at her. They had moved out onto the bench outside the motel room, it was still dark, but there was a tinge of red to the sky.

“Not helping Sara,” Felicity deadpanned scrubbing her hands over her face. “He won’t speak to me and I’ve got to go home and tell everyone. ‘Yeah I found your son, brother, best friend but he won’t talk to me because I had his kid,” she said flatly an eyebrow raising as she thought over the words, they sounded worse aloud. This really wasn’t going the way she had wanted it to or expected it too. She expected to be his arms kissing the hell out of him and making for lost time, she was sit him down and tell him about cohen and show him picture she had brought and he would understand and think that it was the best thing in the world having a family with her. So maybe she was being a little over optimistic, but that was to be expected right?

“Okay, so yeah it’s not ideal, but Ollie will come round, he just needs some space,” Sara nodded like she really believed her words were right.

“I seriously hope so,” Felicity whispered watching movement in their motel room across from where they were sitting.

“I hope you all had pleasant flight,” the Captain said appearing from the cockpit. Everyone nodded and said their thank you’s while gathering their stuff  and disembarking the private QC jet. They had been pulled into a hanger and were out the way of prying eyes. What surprised them all was who was there there to welcome them home, the pilot must have called out saying they were close to landing. Thea, Roy and Tommy. These were the three people who knew something of the secret they kept of their other life but not everything, keeping them from the worst of the horrors and dangers that come with the life. They also knew Sara was in fact alive, but instead of outting her to her family helped her keep her secret.

“Mommy!” Felicity spun around at the voice of an excited little boy running full speed in her direction. Thea was still crouched down pointing in her direction, a grin splitting her face in two when she saw Oliver climbing off the plane. Opening her arms she waited for Cohen to fly into them arms and legs wrapping around her tightly, his head dropping to tuck into the gap between her chin and shoulder.

“I should go away more often,” she laughed folding herself around him and holding him tight against her, she pressed her nose into his hair and breathed in the familiar scent. A very simple but firm ‘No’ came in response.

“And what about me?” Sara laughed pretending to pout, she dropped her bags to floor and put her hands on her hips.

“RaRa,” cohen giggled pulling away from Felicity in haste and latching himself onto the other blonde.

“Oh and I’m just a sack of spuds?” John laughed pretending to be offended. Good naturedly and in ritual Cohen nodded making them all laugh, but in the end he climbed up Dig -literally- and wrapped his arms around his neck hugging him tight. Cohen loved Dig like a father, he had been there for everything and with Lyla, had helped Felicity raise him.

With the four of them being distracted with Cohen, Thea, Tommy and Roy had moved over to welcome Oliver home. But Oliver’s attention captured by the blonde little boy welcoming his team home.

“I think you Mom should explain that,” Dig whispered. Felicity turned her head at her name and looked on curiously at the silent conversation Dig was having with Cohen.

“Explain what?”

“Who that man is,” Cohen whispered pointing towards Oliver who was now stood alone with his Sister, her boyfriend and his childhood friend stood behind him. Reaching out Felicity took Cohen into her arms and sat him on her hip. Everyone went silent and watched on. Felicity even caught a tear running down Thea’s cheek.

“Cohen, this man right here is your Daddy,” Felicity whispered close to him, her hand brushing hair back away from his face, her child really didn’t like the hairdressers, yet he really needed a haircut.

“But..” Cohen looked at Dig and then Oliver, he couldn’t understand. “Is he the one in the picture?” he asked looking back at Felicity.

A smile brighten her face and she nodded. “Yeah, he’s the man with Mommy in the picture,”

“He is different,” Cohen answered back matter of factly. This caused an eruption of laughs from everyone around him.

“I promise you it’s the same man,” Felicity spoke softly not shifting her eyes from Oliver’s gaze. She tried to convey everything she felt and wanted to feel in that gaze, making him see she was still somewhat the same person she had been before he was taken. Only, she was strong, braver and now a mother.

They didn’t manage to get Cohen to go over and meet Oliver at the airport, which was no surprise to anyone, Oliver a stranger to him and Felicity would have been worried if he had just ran over and hugged; but, they did manage to get him to say hello in car which was a start.

Even though it was the smallest place they could end up at, they all ended back up at Felicity’s. They crowded the floors and sofas, all sat in a circle chatting away and catching Oliver up on everything that had happened.

“You know I really should tell mom your home,” Thea wondered aloud.

“You still haven’t told her, I thought you phoned on her way here?” Roy asked passing her a glass of wine.

“I was, but Cay decided he wanted to play that flappy bird game,” she shrugged taking a sip.

“So I have you blame on why my child is addicted to a poorly made game?!” Felicity sighed coming back in through the door with Sara. They each had an armful of food which had just been delivered. “Dinner!” she called knowing Cohen and Tommy would hear from the bedroom. Cohen appeared first with Tommy bring up the rear with a clown face drawn on his own face.

“When he starts drawing on the walls, you can explain to Thea,” Felicity laughed shaking her head as she passed the food out.

Once everyone had something she sat back down in her spot on the sofa next to Oliver, with Thea sat on his other side the two seater became very cosy and they pressed together, to make things more interesting Cohen had decided Felicity’s lap was a better place to sit than his bean bag.

“Ask him,” Felicity said around a mouthful of Thai food. Watching cautiously from his perch on his mother’s lap, Cohen found the courage to ask Oliver a question.

“Where have you been?”

Oliver thought for a second. “In Australia, do you know where that is?”

Cohen nodded and asked another. “Did you live there because you didn’t like me and Mommy?”

The room went silent and Felicity wished she had had a chance to veto his questions beforehand.

“Cohen...”

“It’s fine,” Oliver said interrupting Felicity. “I love your Mommy very much,” he answered in a hushed tone his gaze flicking to Felicity before going back to his son. “and you, but I had some...important things to do out there,” Oliver lied easily, because even though it wasn’t the truth, Cohen didn’t need to hear that his father had been kidnapped by some psychopath.

Cohen hummed, the tuned rumbling in his chest. “Okay, that’s fair,” he nodded somberly while eating a bean he had snatched from Felicity’s takeaway box. “Did you bring me a present?”

“Cohen!” Felicity groaned hiding her face on her son’s shoulder. Everyone around her laughed relaxed as Father and son started to bond just a little bit for the first time.

“Want me to take him?” Felicity looked up at Dig who was stood over his arms out to take Cohen from her lap.

“Please,” she whispered unwrapping his arms from around her neck. Dig very carefully and expertly lifted Cohen from her lap and carried him to his bed, where she knew he would settle him down and tuck him in under his Superman bed sheets.

Thea, Roy and Tommy had all left to go home half an hour or so ago, which left Sara, Felicity, Dig and Oliver in her apartment living room.

Sara had found her way into Felicity’s kitchen and was looking for the chocolate fudge ice cream she had hid there, Felicity didn’t want to break the new to her that Cohen had found it and eaten it.

“He loves him a lot?” Oliver asked his voice low as he too watched Sara.

“Dig? Yeah, he’s been like a father to Cohen.”

“I’m sorry,” Oliver whispered his voice catching in his throat.

“What for?” Felicity asked turning in her spot her brow knitting together. “You didn’t leave Oliver, you were taken.”

“I should have put up more of a fight, Slade left me with no option, he was going to kill you all if I didn’t leave with him.”

The first tear slide down Felicity’s cheek, finally opening the dam for the rest to follow. In haste she clutched his face between her hands and kissed him, hard. She poured everything to that kiss, every emotion she was feeling and then some more. She pulled away, breathing hard and fast. “I never moved on, I couldn’t, not matter what I told myself, I never moved on!” She said firmly, she had to make him understand. Oliver nodded and kissed her again, his hand settling on the curve of neck while the other grasped one of the wrists that held his face.

They were pulled apart at someone clapping. Turning their heads, they saw Sara stood in the archway to the kitchen jumping up and down as she clapped her hands. “I knew it!” she grinned.

“You owe me fifty,” she pointed at Dig who was shaking his head from his spot in the doorway of Cohen’s room.

“You guys made a bet on whether or not we’d sort things out?” Oliver asked in disbelief, but humour laced his words.

Sara hummed and folded herself in the armchair on Felicity’s right, while Dig took the spinning chair on her left. The four of them were back together as team, as family and Felicity had no intention of letting any of them leave her again.

[cognizantlyalive]

dinner n drinks

I'm going to take this moment to remember the way roy made me feel., 

i was feeling flippant/ detached from his existence, all the way until i met him again on friday. on thursday i texted him to tell him about the card for sherilyn and ask him to find me sometime after work to write in it. he said ‘nice gesture’ and thanks for buying it, then asked if we needed him to write on thurs, otherwise he'd meet me aft work on fri before we met sherilyn. at this point i didn't even care if he met me or not, i was just that disinterested after not seeing him for two weeks. i felt like it was a possibility we could just be friends now with no feelings in the mix.

i told him i end at 6 on fri and like clockwork he texted me at 6.02 the next day to ask me to let him know when we’re done. and surprisingly because every single person in the office was caught up in stuff, i went over to meet him first at 6.20. we met at the platform and we decided to bum ard at the platform while waiting for everyone else (bearing in mind chinatown would be humid and overwhelmingly overcrowded.) so i said ‘take us to where u were sitting just now or someplace where we can sit’ and he did, he brought us to the end of the platform and from there conversation just flowed again :’. i feel emotional writing this because pms and also because when have i ever felt that companionship connection/ intense interest/ sensitive synchrony with someone that was also healthy? pretty much never because the previous times it happened, i realise i was young and immature and emotionally unstable and deeply unhappy, and had low self-esteem and image issues. to number them out, it was with jiasheng during eu trip, alex (but not really connection cos we barely talked much - time was spent together vvv unhealthily cos i refused to talk to him and was guarded and distrusting all the time, and worried about what i looked like/ what i said), dongkyu (but not rly cos he was kind of not rly good looking, he had low social status and low self-esteem, and wasn't really achieving much in his life/ looking forward to much). essentially there were fleeting feelings and v mild/ undeveloped ones with the above, but all were insincere, came from a place of lack, and were ultimately self-conceited. 

on the other hand with roy, there is no dependence on for a void, because no longer is there that neediness and insecurity. my hope is in christ, my rock and security and fulfilment in him. i love his presence, and seeing him again made me remember that. we slipped into comfortable companionship; i helped him with his bag and the writing/ sealing of the card, then he helped me to place the card back into the plastic packaging. he was so kind and gentle with me, and he talked to me like talking to an old friend- i was starting to get used to him. he no longer felt like a novel friend i had to try harder to know, but he seemed more easy and more open with me that day. i shared with him about the time after the lunch w him when we got scolded, and then he shared about his boss, and about his conversations with them and his friends about their bosses. apparently he had also asked ys why she decided to set up her own company before. it would seem like we were on the same page in terms of wavelength. afterward there was a fly and it was 7 so i suggested we get on the train and make our way there on our own to secure the table. on the train, he gave me a mint, gently easing it out onto my outstretched palms, then i helped him with his bag again. afterward, he guided me when we were switching trains while i texted sherilyn to ask her where she was and about securing our table. after we got on the escalator, i turned around and there he was at the step right behind me; my heart skipped a beat as i looked up at him. he was speaking with me naturally and to my surprise, he was comfortable with the proximity (though i have always known him to be guarded towards everyone and uncomfortable with physical intimacy). when we were getting off, i paused so he would come closer to me, and he did. we walked closely towards the purple line, and at the next platform, met his current colleague! she looked surprised to see me and was eyeing me when she spoke to roy lol i wondered if she thought we were a couple and just gave her a friendly smile. i remember when roy told me all his colleagues were ard his age and married/ about to get married, he said there was another 22 year old girl. that same night he told me, i dreamt that she was single and he liked her instead of me. HAHA so thank god we met her cos there and then she happily mentioned she was gg off to meet her boyfriend haha. then roy and i headed off for the end of the platform to escape the crowd. at this point i realised he was walking really slowly to match my pace and i read that thats something guys do when they like the girl they're with? i dunno. anyhow when we were on the train he turned his body so he was facing me it was kind of that way on the earlier train, but not during the first few times we took the train together haha. anyway, afterward, dear roy very chilvarously found the mrt map and led us to the restaurant. at this point we were either bumping into each other from the side or standing very close to one another hehe. i was feeling blissful in his presence, and we had friendly/ cheerful banter. he told me about a story about the 89 million trading error, and we spoke about what we would do if we had that much money. i said i never thought about it and he was shocked but jokingly added that yea it was a waste of time to think about it cos it would never happen. HAHA. i felt so safe in his presence, cos he was so confident and knew exactly where to go without any further reference. after that while we were on the escalator again, i accidentally touched his hand and he didn't move LOL?? i wanted there and then to burrow myself in his chest and melt in his embrace ><’!!! had to maintain. afterward we got to the restaurant and sat down to order, then he was really reliable again, helping us with the chinese menu, while i checked whatsapp to see what we shld order; we were working as a team. i let him take the lead to write the orders and send the menu to the grp chat. there was once or twice when i accidentally touched his leg......... and...... he was super steady and didn't move/ bat an eyelid. lol oops. i kind of enjoyed it so i just left it like that... lol. when we were done taking orders we went to sit down together and he moved his chair closer to mine teehee. then because i could see that he was really hungry, i got him to eat first, and helped him pour the vinegar for the jiao zi. after we took a few bites i cheekily rearranged the food so that it looked untouched LOL. then that made him laugh. we weren't talking much by now cos firstly it was really noisy, secondly we were tired and hungry. somehow to my surprise the silence didn’t feel rly uncomfortable. when the rest came, i helped him get the egg, then he was watchful for what i wanted, and made sure to turn the table so i could have it- in hindsight he didn't do this specifically for anyone else e.g. karyl or wtv. hm. i noticed that when karyl leaned over towards him to see something, he actually leaned away instead, so that he was leaning towards me, and then held the phone towards my side so i could see it too haha oops. he also immediately stood up after our meal to get the bill, and in doing so, purposely turned around to look at me and let me know, instead of directing the information at everyone else/ people around him. i think shirleyn (who was sitting beside me) noticed this intentionality at chivalry  so she immediately called his flirting out and said “wow, ying shiong!!!” in a teasing manner LOL. hm what else.. minor stuff like while we were walking over to the next destination and stopping by traffic lights or what and chatting, i realised he was standing really close to me hehe and letting me be in his personal space, even if i wasn't facing him and talking to someone else. he just wanted to be by me and close to me. when we were walking at some points, we were continuously bumping into each other again, and at one point his arm grazed my waist and my butt- i think i might have accidentally touched him on his waist and arm/ butt as well..... lol. 

when we reached the ktv, he opted not to be at the cashier with iz and to stand by my side instead hehe. i felt safer with him around, and we ended up sitting next to each other. he was very respectful, but sat near enough to me. at some point, i felt really really really cold, and when i told him, he unhesitatingly offered to let me have his jacket (i didn't even know he had one with him so he could have just empathised and then let what i said slide). so i was touched at his caring gesture, and that he was willing to let me in in that way? i think he's a rather private person/ closed-off person, and wouldn't willingly share his jacket with just anyone. also i was secretly quite happy cos he did it in front of everyone, when he came back, he held it out and looked like he wanted to put it on me, but i think he hesitated LOL. so anyway i took it and had it when me the whole time afters. he also sat really close to me (but without touching) at one point after when someone else moved to sit on his other side. i was feeling uncomfortable at the public display of physical intimacy - by now it must have been clear to everyone of roy’s interest in me la lol.... however at the same time secretly happy. when he sung the japanese love song towards the end, i was melting inside LOL. he has such a soothing voice it makes me just want to kiss him. ok anyway, i asked him after i got back from the toilet if he felt cold but he said nope, cos he's been drinking hot tea, so i cupped my hands, and without missing a beat he reached for the cup and gently set it in my hands lol. he's so cute and sensitive........ I'm happy with him. 

when we were going home, he was a bit more distant though, refusing to talk to me or stand close to me anymore. i was sad and in want of his attention LOL. but whatever at least, we ended things well? roy refused to bid me bye also when we got out of the cab, and just said “all the best sherilyn” -.- stupid boy was probably playing hard to get so that i would want him.