#he just looked rly pretty idk
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#nctinc#jaehyunnet#jaehyun#mine*works#gifs*jaehyun#this set is so pointless lol#he just looked rly pretty idk#self indulgence <3
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[Artist Of The Month] ENHYPEN NI-KI(니키) Spotlight | May 2024
#niki#niki nishimura#riki nishimura#enhypen#enhypenet#maleidolsnet#kpopccc#ultkpopnetwork#ultkpop#mine.#idk i just thought he looked rly pretty
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ok i just watched dff ep 11 and i. am going insane.
#i cannot piece together A Thought right now bc holy fuck SO MUCH happened in the last like 10-20 mins of that ep#my only thought is that it seems the finale is going to be v much based on each character's fears#as ig theyre all currently knocked out on hallucinogenics#im. I STILL NEED TO KNOW WTF FLUKE'S DEAL IS#and it looks like white rly is just sweet bby boy :(((#never thought id feel so fhckin sad for tee#everyone's theories about non were (maybe??? seemed pretty real) proved wrong#new/tan rly is unhinged as all fuck#phee truly stuck himself into a serious moral dilemma#mad kudos to barcode as usual#big fuckin kudos to all of them tbf#also im still a weeee bit confused abt perth lmao#there were all these big theories but like unless he shows up or does smth in the last ep...#idk i felt like he didnt add a lot to the story in this ep??#wow i lied apparently i did have thoughts#dff#dff the series#dead friend forever
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Done with the worst parts of sanding :)
#if the remaining bits look uneven. its on purpose. i havent sanded the right yet. i want to kind of sit with him for a bit before shaping#the smaller bits further :)#the color difference is also pretty bad 😥 i didn't realize how yellowed the body was until i got to work so... i will have to do SOMETHING#to cover that. or just embrace it idk :) the character is a robot thats used 2 be high tech and is now sort of falling apart so im not super#bothered ig with like... any of the resin color differences bc i can just say its faded from use/storage or whatever do#*so. its all ok :) the only other time ive done something like this is my little top surgery on another doll (he was brand new so had no#yellowing rly) so im like... not super bothered i think :) pretty happy w it being my second big dremel project lol. definitely have a lot#of plans w him so im happy to be feeling well enough to work on him today :)#bjd posting#twist rambles#idr what his name even is... makes me sound like a bad doll owner but when i do remember ill toss these posts in his tag :)
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Why do I say things like this. Like what was the need. Why do I feel the need to jinx myself. What was the reason.
#lol just looking thru my drawings and i saw that tag#and im like YOU! ITS YOUR FAULT IM BURNT OUT! I BLAME YOU(catie from that specific day)#anyways trying to draw nando and ITS NOT GOING WELL YKNOW#i still really struggle with drawing real people#seb is okay bcs ive drawn him the most and like have stared at his face for hours so...familiar...yeah...#and i do in fact look at a fuckton of nando pics BUT GOD HIS FACE IS SO DIFFICULT#he just has very like odd features i guess. AND HES VERY HANDSOME FOR IT but god they do not lend to easy drawing#i miss oc drawing where theres no accuracy really required since its all from my head#not that im never drawing ocs again. theyre still my beloved but i dont rly have any ideas atm for them :<#wanna draw rüß as an f1 driver tbh bcs ive been maladaptive daydreaming about that for the past few weeks#but as you know im somewhat allergic to drawing racesuits 😭#also im wondering if drawing chibis so much fucked up my sense of style bcs now i struggle sometimes w proportions#i just. dont want to be burnt out anymore. i know its something you cant really force yourself thru#and also that you shouldn't force yourself cause it just makes it worse but#idk. i wanna draw so badly 😭 and i do it and sometimes it works out and sometimes im just staring at the screen like. oh.#i want to also finish the pt 2 to the boy king ficlet. i always randomly add a few paragraphs to it#blah blah anyways just thinking. i feel a bit frustrated and unfufilled atm i guess#like that feeling in your chest of tightness. its the worst. i wanna throw something or break something i guess#PLEASE JUST LET ME DRAW MY PORTRAIT OF KING NANDO IM BEGGING#he'll be so pretty okay 😭😭 i just cant get his fucking face right#ignore me ignore me. catie is: going through it#i miss the sense of urgency that drawing before my flight gave me#i like having that sense of incentive and deadline. like: you genuinely need to finish this right now.#if not then its me creating meaningless deadlines in my head that actually make me have worse burn out 🙃#i love how before texas im like i am going to finsih all my wips!! anf then finished exactly: zero#catie.rambling.txt
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hello, i'm finally distancing myself from mcyt :]
it's been really fun!! i loved drawing for everyone, for my interest and esp just interacting with you all. this fandom brought me my friends and different experiences and emotions that are rly unforgettable but i think it's time. thank you for everything, i appreciate you all! ♡♡ pls do stay safe and take care of yourselves!
(my art will remain here ofc but i will most likely be turning this blog into how it was before, multifandom, personal and just a bunch of whatever!)
#the shorter version is the post#ill be here in the tags to talk more :]#honestly im pretty grey on the situation and im just rly waiting for whats gonna happen#thats not why im leaving (mostly) i think its abt time to accept im getting tired of how the experience is of being a drm stan#i loved the man i rly do hes been with me for the entire pandemic him and his videos helped me get through it#but its kind of a bummer that just by being a fan u get exposed to antis and their nonstop scheme of just starting up shit#and that everytime something new comes up you keep hoping its just an accusation but at the same time u feel terrible and anxious anyway#ive alrdy distanced myself from twt and by extension even tumblr bc i thought if i just keep drawing and not looking at my socials those#dramas wont reach me (they still do and it sucks lol but i did get a peace of mind just being free of social media)#at some point i started losing interest in mcyt in general the only thing keeping me was drm not even mccs nor other ccs rly just drm#but then recent thing happened and yeah :/ idk what to think im lost and honestly just tired of stuff like this#thats the final straw i think i dont rly want my mental health tearing up over whether to worry abt things i alrdy stress over abt (w the#college and family stuff) and freaking minecraft youtubers fandom#i think whatever the outcome is im just over it if drm comes out innocent i dont think i can let go of him yet#so ill prob still be checking up on hm and watching him by myself#if not then thats that.#stilli cant deny the fact that it rly has been an amazing two almost three years#i hope you all stay safe and takecare of yourselves ♡#if anyone still wants to see my art im just hanging out in my onepiece sideblog lol @/luffysbasement
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GUESS who got vaccined
#THANK GOD... I STILL FELL UNDER THE <26 BRACKET#10 MONTHS OUT JUST MADE IT#only 1 dose and its covered Yeehaw#for hpv to be clear. not covid#nurse was like so why didnt u take it im like my parents didnt want me to hes like oh u missed school that day#im like. sure ndbdhdj. anyways it was very fast#10 months. i meant 2 months out. the gap was a lot narrower than i made it sound LMAO#nurse was like well.. its less effective for guys and also the rules are different#me and the doc share a look....... shes like no u better go with the female rules before i could say I have a cervix#was seeing a doctor id never met before also. idk if she just thoufht i was rly butch cos i asked abt hpv and iuds first#the doctors at this clinic have been pretty good about me being trans. thank god#i got asked my pronouns i was like. oh im good with whatever sjbhxhd shes like no what do U use...#it also really kicked in that i WILL get read as male no matter what
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Almost got too comfortable with liking a whole 3 25ji originals and tried listening to a 25ji cover playlist before I remembered that I do indeed still very much not like a good 99% of their covers
#rat rambles#sekai posting#samsa has become one of my favorite sekai songs period and bug and inanndesu are both alas absolute bangers#but one of those is hard carried by the story its tied to and the other is bug so it just kinda plain goes hard#but fr they sound sooooo fucking good in zamuza and the lyricssssss god#songs that hit harder if I close my eyes and pretend its more abt kanade than it actually is#Id be lying tho if I said that they dont sound good in inandesu#like bro it doesnt deserve to be in my top ten sekai songs but it still is so#like it goes hard they sound good miku sounds good the event is one of my favorite sekai events its so unfair#y'know truly these three songs are representative of my relationship with 25ji as a whole if you think abt it fndjfbdh#I went into bug not expecting it to go so hard zamuza hit me hard but took a lil while to appreciate the other members in it and inandesu#stuck in my brain against my will#and mizuki fits into this cause theyre the only 25ji member that isnt tied for my favorite sekai character lol#like look they have good originals. just none that I like the group cover or even the misuki solo of#like lower is pretty good. I hate the 25ji version tho#idk maybe Ill like kitty more in the future if I end up giving it more of a chance but it doesnt rly call to me rn#also on a almost related note god I wish I could like the vbs version of hitsuji ga ippiki more but idk why it just does not click with me#idk if its just me liking the vocaloid version too much or if the boys bring it down that much for me but smth abt it man idk#speaking of the guys rip to akito for not getting the yy solo he desperately needed#bro is doomed to only have one good solo til the end of time </3#like Im happy for an but man I wish all of them got yy solos they all sound soooo good in that cover#also give me shanti solos because I wanna like vbs shanti soooo bad but smth abt it doesnt click in the way I want it to#also delete vbs egoist from the game thanks <3
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nurses stop being cunts challenge difficulty level fucking impossible apparently
#i was waiting outside my kast room 4 today its assisted living so full clean#he had told me just needed to use the bathroom and then hed be out he was rly friendly#this fucking nurse (who is one of the ones who will just Ignore me when i say hi in the hallway. bc im housekeeping. lol.) comes up and is#like Why are you waiting outside jmmediately in a bitchy tone of voice and im like oh im just waiting on this guy to finish usjng the#bathroom so j can clean 👍 and shes like Ill get hjm out and im like oh no hes ok he said he just needs to pee and she looks at me like im#fuckjh stupid and is like He cant leave on his own 🙄🙄 like. ok. he isnt one of my regular rooms i do not fucking know the guy and hr said#hed be right o8ut. but fucking whatever. she gets hkm out i start cleaning i take his laundry bc hes assisted living we take all their#laundry and dee tolde he was all laundry. the fuckjng same nurse comes in and says Why did you take his laundry and im like what. bc like..#thatsy hov like liteeally. and shes like we dont take his laundry why did you take his laundry#and jm like i didnt fuckjng know dee told me hes all laundry so j fuckjng took all laundry.#and she just KEEPS SAYJG WE DONT TAKE HIS LAUNFRY. AFTER IVE ALREADY FUCKING PUT HJS LAUNDRY BACK. and finally shuts tyhe fuck up bc i#start ignoring her. im cleanig a counter ajd she fuckjng grabs my shoulder and says Come tell me when youre done 🙄#like. do i look like a fucking messenger. im not gonna hunt the fuckig building for her especially when she wants to act like a cunt. and#i heard her talking shit abt me in the hallway with another nurse like im ngl i fuckjng hate you. what is your problem lol.#she was literally saying j didnt know how to do8nmy job like#1. touch me again try it 2. is your job telling me how to do mine. no im pretty sure your job is being rude to residents#<- im not just sayjng that ive seen the way she inthteracts with residents and shes like genuinely mean sometimes. and like Really bossy#like#obv i get being bossy bc some of the assisted living patients are a bit scattered so they need direction but she like. idk..
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they r soooo. anyway
#lol um anyway . i kissed them for the first time yesterday but it literally feels like a yr ago but it also feels like today#on a bridge at night against a cityscape. river looked like a painting...etc it was nice . and then. yh theres a lot to talk abt#so i dont wanna say it all rn bc im tired but yeah. they r . sooo. pretty cool etc etc. whatever im fine im just . angry that i dont get to#see them that often bc they live in a diff city etc. also took them to a spot which usually is like . relatively busy bc london is busy all#the time but it was cold and it was at night so there were like 0 people there. the view was so good but other things were better#also kissing smn w a vertical labret is actually just >>>#lol en ee way i miss them#im soo overwhelmed w life rn and theyre not rly helping but like. in a good way#i told my friend to lmk if he notices that im becomjng too engaged w romance to the point where im neglecting academics#and he immidiately said it. like according to him im thinking abt her too much when i should be thinkint abt philosophy too much#which is like. idk if that's true bc ik he has a rly skewed perspective bf he kind of swore off datint#etc but at the same time . wbat if hes right. omg. but also let me have this Moment#that was last week when i was forcefully taken to manchester by a university society . like we hadnt even kissed yet#i fell asleep bc ive been so exhausted and when i woke up i realised they briefly appeared in a dream i had#and then i started tearing up out of Fear bc like . whenever ive lost smn i loved the dreams were the worst#like . good dreams. were horrible. and now its like what if this turns out horrible ? but i dont wanna self sabotage bc i rly rly rly like#them . i gave them a rose and on the train home i could stop staring at their hands holding the rose#and i know theyve liked me for months and i know theyve been waiting for months but somehow its still like#what if it just fades. whatever happens happens ig. i took them a leaf compressed in a poetry book from#a book shop we found on our second date tgth. they gave me a necklace w a small vial and a tiny flower inside#its so pretty. thinking abt the way they put it on me + when they wrapped their arms around me when i was cooking for them etc etc#im FINE its FINE its OKAY . whatever !!!!!#[chroma blue]
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ik lots of idols get work done (n they slay i have nothing against plastic surgery [if the idol is old enough to consent]) but istg. if hybe EVER . and i mean EVER . tries to touch park jongseong’s nose for ANY reason whatsoever … buildings will burn, people will die, and hybe will feel my wrath.
#ੈ.talking to myself#i’m so serious#i’m just looking at pictures#n he is literally so gorgeous#enha is just a group of models#i rly don’t think jay gets enough attention for his visuals??#i think it’s lowk bc his visuals r a bit less versatile than the others’#jay has this like .. classically masculine vibe And he has a strong personal sense of style#which i think makes some ppl idk .. not hesitant or anything like that#but they just perceive him as more masculine which is pretty different from all the other members#(except for niki .. i think he also has that sort of classically masc look)#ignore me pls i’m rambling#i’m prob going to delete this l8r#i just have pjb (park jongseong brainrot) rn
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First thing ive drawn in ten BILLION hundred thousand years ... The colors are off, on my tablet they looked fine but on my phone theyre not great. Apart from that it looks alright though, + Second pic for size :D
#(Drawing is my dnd character!!)#the main goal was to like finally have a proper drawing of his face cause i get rly annnoyed w myself about how I cant ever get it just#right#and like he never looks animalistic enough if that makes sense‚ esp his nose i cant get a good spot between like normal idk flat shifter#noses idk how to describe them but you know how theyre supposed to look‚ and the fact that hes supposed to look very childlike so i want#his featured to be more round yk ...#im decently happy w it though even tho it could still be a little.more. animal-ish feral looking yk#A big issue is he has like pretty dark eyebrows and theyre important to his appearance but as soon as i color in his hair theyre not#apparwnt enough anymore but i cant shorten his hair or make it lighter cuz his hair is ALSO important to like his whole appearance look
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I’ll put the title of the movie I just saw in the tags only, since it’s pretty new and I don’t want to spoil it, but my review is that it’s like an adaptation of that creepypasta where the characters don’t know they’re sims.
#horror#it’s not perfect (too many meaningless/random scares in the beginning for my liking) but what movie is perfect. I rly enjoyed it#at a certain point I thought it was some clone shit but it turned out to be some sword art online shit#personally I’d love to see a movie like this where it’s clone shit#any of y’all read this book called cloning miranda? idk if it’s popular or anything cuz it was just a random library find when I was 14ish#that shit fucked me up#and it was a short chapter book like I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be like a middle-high school kinda book#cuz that’s where it was in the library#could be wrong of course cuz I’ve literally never seen it mentioned anywhere#my words#dont worry darling#ok now that I gave the title can I just say I really like how they made mr styles look like a greasy incel type dude#I absolutely did not expect a look like that on him and it’s great casting in that regard alone imo#not that he wasn’t great idk I’m no acting coach or a huge fan or hater of the guy
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For the rare coherent, rational thought: it's pretty unlikely this is actually about him or even me. He's sure as fuck not helpin but it's just a smokescreen.
#i started spiralin pretty suddenly at almost two weeks since any interaction w/ him & w/ seemingly no trigger#unless we look outside the system. cause it woulda been a couple of days after we broached some things in therapy#n i don't know what it means but i don't like it#was just the general topic too close n triggered some kinda emergency protocols? we've mentioned it before w/ no issues#or was it that what we've assumed to be basically just speculation w/ nothing tangible is closer to the truth than we think#we can't assume anything til we have either smth tangible or actually remember things but#it's all blocked away#what changed? would pointing fingers at the wrong person have caused this too?#is someone tryin to tell us smth or is this a sign to back off?#we can't keep backin off forever we can't fucking live like this but idk what we need to do to get past that block#n i know we can't go digging it just triggers more defenses n doesn't even work#but it's driving me fucking insane#i keep wanting to watch some specific movies or shows to see if it'd trigger a memory but i know that's not even remotely safe#i don't know what to fucking do#do i ignore it? obsessing over the same things over n over helps no one but i got nothin else to go on from#some things in val that we don't.....recognize. it's not rly source him it's none of the other people he introjected things from#it's no one we remember. who is it? do we even wanna remember?#cause sometimes i look at the shit i say n see the trauma holder who Knows the one who can't tell n only talked about it once#something we're replaying just w/ a different cast#who's feelings are these? whose words is he repeating?#n then we have the fucking dreams we never talk about but idk if that's just cause we think about it so much#is it just all of the shit mashed together or is it a memory#or more just fragments of one anyway#spdrvent
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sincerely i think the worst part of having bjds of different sizes and styles is you will get a guy bc u think he looks nice and then you realize his head is massive and doesnt mesh with ANY of your other guys...
#twist rambles#^guy that finally reached out to doa members to be like hi. HELP PLEASE. bc like... i dont normally have realistic sculpts so its really#scary for me. but its something where i think id like to umm. do a slightly different faceup than what i tried w him last time. bc hes a#robot to me. so i want to have the circuit boards and stuff showing. initially i wanted half his face to look like that but now im like...#small sections would look rly good of like. tiny bits of the skin peeling off to reveal circuitry. if that makes sense. but also its so so#hard for me as a guy w shaky handsssss augh#like. hes 70 cm tall and JACKED. and my other biggest doll is 68cm and pretty sldner so its so scary. this also reminds me i need to keep#wiping the old faceup/body paint off my other doll so i can like. well. make a silly b.lack jac.k doll ok :3 but i gotta get references too#hmm. much to do. but anyways. its so scary idk his eyes are a lot smaller bc his features are more realistic so like. im very scared about#it bc i just. yeah. its very different to my other guys bc like... i prefer a slightly less realistic doll. so its so scary. but i fell in#love w his face and his body ohhhh god yall dont even KNOW how bad and how much work thats gonna be. beautiful jacked so.nic the hed.gehog#body <- due to the fact he is blue. only partially tho. which is why im doing circuitry. bc i then dont have to um... wipe the 5 billion#spots of paint off. sorry thsi is so rambly in the tags but. its so scary for me#bjdposting
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also i found out that rly thin anas will specifically hang out w bigger ppl and feed them and encourage them to be fat just to feel better ab themselves and i rly feel like thats been done to me so many times. im just surrounded by meanspo LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
#like holy fuck#idk if it’s bc i went from having BED to heavily restricting like dis but i would just absolutely never catch myself treating someone like#that#idc how bad this gets#i rly don’t want being disordered to take over my kindness it’s so integral to who i am#what’s crazy is i’m super attracted to fat people actually they’re so soft and warm and lovely to snuggle up with#thats literally my type#i just hate how it looks on me and ik i could be like. absolutely ridiculously hot if i lost all the weight bc my face rly is so pretty#i want the power that comes w being skinny i wanna be chased and adored and pined after and treated like the delicate little thing that#i am deep down inside#and i want revenge too against everyone who made me miserable in school#and i want my ex back LMAO#ik that’ll be the way to do it too bc he’ll get all concerned and shit#ideal situation he can play savior for me and i can be skinny and hot and everything will work out#being so skinny and perfect he doesn’t even think ab his barbie ex
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