#he just tries to figure out how to make them a) profitable and b) not a threat to him personally

[madebyrolo]

Pouge Princess

Rafe Cameron x reader

she/her

Rafe takes an interest in y/n as she’s working in her family’s food truck. Over the years Rafe has came just to see her but she doesn’t know that.

*not proof read or edited

Pt.2

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

Y/n was a pouge, she lived on that side of the Island. She wasn’t exactly like how the stereotype describe them. though. She was in a somewhat happy family, kitchen table bills, well mannered and cared about her education. Her parents tried giving her the best they could and they tried to bring themself up and it was working.

Whenever they threw small party’s they would invite almost everyone, they loved their food and the family. Her family owned a small food truck in the figure 8 area. It was a drive but it was a smark marketing move they made. The tourists were a big part and the rich money hungry local families. They never really cooked or did any happy family matter thing. They had maids or butlers to do it and money to burn, so when it would come to their dinner or lunch they bought.

They made the best tacos in the whole island as a lot would say. They grew their own ingredients to make the sals, toppings, fruit. Her uncle working in a butcher shop who helped them buy fresh meat at a discounted price, an aunt who made their homemade juices/water and tortillas. Their whole family helped them with the business like saving up for the food truck and all working togther splitting profits.

Y/n worked some after school and weekend shifts. That was her way of getting her allowance of $30 a week. To a kook they would see that as cruel but for her that seemed reasonable. She saved and saved since she was 13 to buy an old 2000a Honda crv, her parents helped her obviously but she was able to pay for it 70% herself. It wasn’t the prettiest, it had some rust on the ends and it had about 107,349 miles on it but it was perfect for a starter car, and the gas was good. She got it when she was 15 and spent nights cruising and exploring the island with her friend John B, Jj, Pope and Kiara before John B got the Twinkie.

They met in elementary school but they finally formed as a group in junior high. When they hung out it was practically everyday. In school they would have lunch but then go straight to John’s bs house. Jj was the pothead of the group so when he got his money he spent not on weed, lighters, grinders and rolling paper. Sometimes he would ask y/n parents to pick up shifts for when he was running low on money. He wasn’t the smartest with money but “weed was his outlet” she tried not to scold him and let him be him. Pope was the straight A student, he was smarter than anyone she knew including herself. He was wise and had somewhat good judgment. Kiara the born kook yet chose the pouge life, she had a fiery personalit, and was a environmentalist. She was a nice sweet soul although doesn’t make the best decisions. And John b, the group leader. He was wise in his way, street smart and a strong independent. He had some walls up but he was nicest one out of all of them.

Y/n had her little shifts at the food truck weekend mornings and sometimes after school when it was in session. In the summer she would work longer hours due to the higher population and popularity due to the tourist. She didn’t mind, she made good money especially with tips. The older look men would leave $5 minimum and as well the boys around her age. The tourist $5 max because one it’s good food and two she was y/n. It was no lie y/n was pretty, the pouges, kooks and tourist knew it, she did too. She wasnt too cocky but if she knew she could get a bigger tip she would do it. It was sad to see some of the dude actually take it seriously but a hustle a hustle. She had her fans, Topper and Rafe being some of them. Topper loved the food and Rafe loved the view.

Since it was summer time y/n would work in a bathroom suit top and denim shorts, sometimes with a shirt but working in the small metal truck with a girl on 24/7 with the outer banks heat made it hot quick. Sure they had fans but they only did so much. Today was Saturday around 12:30pm, it was the busy and hottest time of day. Luckily Jj picked up a shift today helping her with the grill. They’ve made at least 3pounds of meat already and it hasn’t even hit dinner time. As a duo they make great tips. They older adult thinks he the one actually seasoning and stripping the meat even though it was pre marinated the night before which gives it the taste people like. The younger girls thinking he’s a hot blond boy wearing nothing but a white fitted tank top with his chain dangling when he would reach down giving them their food, tipping way more money then their parents gave them.

It hit 2:00 it was slowly dying down. They were able to turn off 1 grill out of the 3 and able to chill out. They were finally able to talk one on one and kept telling small things they noticed customers do like one kid studdering when they saw jj and an old lady struggling to count out her and the sweetest kid helping. They’re favorite is when the mom yelled at a poor girl for tipping $10 but not cause jj was hot just because she didn’t understand money. They were giggling away when their 2 “favorite” customers showed up.

“Welcome to Sunburn Siesta, what can I get you” y/n asked as she grab her notepad.

“Can I get a 5 carne asada tacos and a watermelon aqua fresca please” Topper said in the most adorable English accent making y/n smile a bit.

“Lemme get 5 shrimp tacos and a coke” Rafe said grabbing his black card out his wallet while staring at the boy at the grill. She takes the card swiping it and handing it back.

“It’ll be out in 5 minutes I’ll call your names.” Y/n tells them. As jj is cooking the meats, y/n heats up the tortillas and prepares the plates. She sets the drinks on the counter letting them know they can grab them.

They boys are good tippers and as much as jj wants to spit in their food he makes sure to make it to perfection. After a couple minutes the plates are ready and she calls their name.

“Topper and Rafe your order is ready!” She shouts placing it on the counter. Topper gets up from the picnic table early excited for his tacos.

“Oh my god y/n these smell and look absolutely delicious.” Topper complimented

“Thank you and enjoy topper” she gave him a genuine smile. Even though the pouges hate him he was by far her favorite costumer. He came for the food and the food only. He never once did a mean thing to y/n, he loves her family cause of the damn tacos.

They sat eating for 30 minutes and every so often y/n would catch Rafes looking at her. She continued taking and making orders switching with Jj so he’s not stuck behind the grill trying to ignoring the daggers she felt from the boy. After an hour they finally got up and Rafe got up to put their tip in the jar. He got at the counter and jj was on the register.

“Rafe what would you like” he said trying to be a good worker.

“Can I get y/n.” He asked sternly.

Y/n heard and came from the grill

“Yes rafe what would you like” she asked

“I just have your tip” he said with a small grin that looked actually meaningful.

“Yea put in the jar” she smiled knowing he’s always done that.

“No this is your tip.” He said getting closer to the girl. Y/n bent down grabbing it with her cleavage obviously being the only thing in Rafe eye sight. She grabs it and noticed it was a $50 bill and her eye lite up.

“Oh Rafe that’s too much..” she said softly to him. He was flustered just from what he saw. He may be the towns playboy but it sure as hell got him nervous knowing they were y/ns.

“Uh yeah no it’s right. You deserve it” he said with cheek a red making embarrassed eye contact.

“Oh Rafe thank you. This is so sweet! Here have a fruit cup for free” she said going over grabbing one of their home grown fruit.

“Thanks y/n” he said with a smile still blushing.

Topper soon comes up putting cash in the tip jar “there you go jj” he said with a playful smirk.

“$6 you really shouldn’t have” he said sarcastically with a hand over his heart.

“The $5 is for y/n, you can take the dollar.” He told him and walked away both rolling their eyes.

“I should get going. Thanks for the food it was great.” Rafe turned to y/n after the other boys interaction.

“Yea, start giving you discounts for now on Cameron.” She waved bye and he started walking away. “You’re my new favorite customer!” She yelled at him from afar.

He turned around and gave her a big wave smiling to himself. Oh boy he was in love.

Y/n fully unrolled the bill about to put it in her purse until she saw a small piece of paper fall out. She pick it up and saw it has writing

“𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 *********

𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦

𝘛𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 :)

-𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦”

Y/n put in in her purse smiling and blushing. She stood there thinking about how she was just asked out in a date by the most wanted boy on the side of the island. As a pouge too. Jj snapped her out of thought as she got ready to prepared food for the customers. She was finishing her shift in a happy smiling mood. Jj noticed and didn’t ask but if he did y/n obviously wouldn’t have told him who knows what would happen if he found out she was friends with the enemies.

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

pt.2 with the date ?

[wafflesandd1ck]

How is it we got an anime of Rick and morty but no horror adult animation series of Danny Phantom?

Like the horror fanart on this site is ✨️INCREDIBLE✨️ and I need the creators to scroll through tumblr for inspiration.

I want to watch Danny Puke up ecoplasm mixed with blood after the accident in the lab and make the entire first episode, Sam and tucker terrified that they just watched their best friend die in his own basement and hiding his body. Going back to the fentons every couple of scenes to move him to a different spot in the house.

I want Sam to be busting out her "how to get away with murder" tips

They settle on, burying him in the park. The fentons put out a missing person's report.

I want tucker to get his phone intending to delete their chats about messing with the parents' lab, so they don't get suspected by the police.

Give me that panic and horror and FUCKING TENSION.

And then Danny wakes up screaming in agony. The plasm burning him and the pain is so intense it turns his hair bleach white.

I want him to spit maggots out his mouth while he crawls out of the creek bed. I I want his knuckles to crack and his ligaments to be tight from rigor mortus.

For episode 2. I wanna see Danny start rotting. His teeth and fingernails are falling out. His hair is coming out in clumps in the shower. His eyes are turning yellow. Sam has to start doing corpse/funeral makeup to make his skin look normal and less pale, pasty and blue.

I want the entire phasing experience to be painful for Danny. His hand goes through the wooden kitchen table, and he can feel every splinter piercing his flesh . He tries so hard to carry a conversation with his dad while he debates, degloving his hand to make the pain stop because he just can't figure out how he phased in the first place.

I want the school lunch lady not revealed to be a ghost until Danny's arguing with her in the middle of the cafeteria and everybody is looking at him like he's gone nuts and he has meltdown wondering if he really did die and is in hell.

This would be so good as a horror series. I think it would be great to take place senior year in high school. Age them all up a bit.

Mainly, so that a key point to the B plot on Danny's family is that they think he is morbidly depressed and on drugs.

SO

Make danny the apprentice to vlad, because his parents pulled strings to get him a job with their college BFF, then when danny finds out that vlad not only has the same tech as the fentons but he wants to basically sell ghost powers to people as a pharmaceutical, to manipulate people's fear of death and the unknown, then danny is like "bro no this shit sucks!" So vlad in a bout of ego is like "yo fuck you 17 year old boy. It ain't shit! Look, " and then infects himself with ecoplasm to be half ghost. Note that it does suck a lot, but vlad, being the ever-present businessman, knows how to manipulate a bad situation into profit.

Weirdly enough, they could run a lot of the episode plots from the cartoon into the adult series. They just have to play with the concepts.

Maybe to pass the fake out make-out (and the truly PAINFUL 'will they or wont they' that just takes entirely too fucking long to resolve), make Sam and Danny FWB until Valerie steps in, and that's the love triangle?

"You said you just wanted sex. What's the problem?"

"Sam, do you even care about me, or I am just part of some freaky kink to get back at your perfect parents?"

..I think about this a lot.

[esmedelacroix]

16 days til' Christmas

figuring out why boyfriend!hobie brown doesn't celebrate christmas ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas Eve at Spider Society was always described to be the most depressing thing ever which was not true since Miguel had the whole place decorated and festive to lighten the fact that so many of you are still there making sure that anomalies weren’t destroying the Christmas cheer in other universes.

You didn’t mind fighting anomalies during the holidays. You liked the work you did and you loved the Spiderman-themed con I’m on eggnog art that was being served in the cafeteria.

Everything was perfect for the holidays and you all were having a little get-together on the roof to celebrate. Who would’ve known that Miguel and Peter B were so crazy about Christmas? You didn’t mind because you were right on that boat with them.

You had a mission earlier that day and when you went to med bay, the nurses were dressed up like Santa’s helpers and they had holiday-themed band-aids. You had no idea why anyone told you that Christmas at Spider Society was so terrible if there was so much effort put in to make it fun.

You never questioned any rumor you heard from Spider Knight ever again when you made the mistake of walking up to Hobie’s table with a plate of holiday sugar cookies for the two of you to share with an ugly sweater on.

“Hey Hobie, thought I’d make us some cookies to share,” you said as you slid the plate of reindeer and Santa-themed treats towards him.

Jessica Drew walked by looking at the cookies you had offered Hobie and said nothing more than, “Good luck,” as she patted your back and chuckled to herself.

“No thanks,” Hobie said, sliding the cookies back to you.

“What don’t tell me you don’t believe in Christmas,” you quipped, giving him a playful nudge thinking you made the funniest joke on the planet.

“I don’t,” he replied sternly with the blankest expression.

Your heart dropped and your mouth hung open. There’s no way, he has to be joking. You thought to yourself as you shook your head slowly in disbelief.

“Hobie, that’s not funny cmon. Do you not like sweets? I mean I make the best cookies on the planet. Mayday helped me make em’” you insisted.

“I was being for real mate, I don’t celebrate Christmas,” he sighed, kicking back in his seat, chuckling at your level of surprise and denial.

Holy shit, he was being for real. What am I going to do with that custom electric guitar I got him as a gift?! You thought to yourself.

“I’m sorry, is it some kind of religious difference that I’m just being insensitive about?” you asked thinking that maybe he was Jewish or something(yep you’re going crazy).

“You know how I feel about religious love,” he replied, flicking your forehead. Of course, how could you forget such an important detail?

“Then why? Why don’t you celebrate it? Did you give someone your heart then the very next day they gave it away?” you jested poking fun at him.

“No Christmas is a scam. First of all, there is no proof that Jesus was even born on the 25 of December, it originated from a pagan holiday, it’s a celebration of the Norwegian God Odin, and the government has completely brainwashed America into buying gifts for their loved ones so that they can profit off of the millions of dollars made during the holidays. I refuse to be just a part of a number that keeps the government rich and helps them waste more of their money on our so overfunded military,” Hobie explained.

Hobie was always outspoken and his opinions as much as you hated to admit it, made sense. They made so much sense but Christmas was where he was wrong.

You tried your hardest to just respect his opinions and hold it all in but you couldn’t. “Hobie, you’ve got it all wrong. None of the information that you listed is news to me at all. But I still celebrate Christmas. Want to know why? Because Christmas is what you make of it,” you stated sternly.

“That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. No offense babe,” he replied.

“It’s not stupid because even if it has been proven that Jesus wasn’t born on that day that doesn’t mean that it’s not bad to have a holiday where you remember and celebrate him if someone were to celebrate Christmas for religious reasons,” you argued.

He hummed and nodded in stumble agreement. “You can have all this talk about pagans and Odin but no one outside of those cultures ever thinks about those two points on Christmas Day,” you said.

“It doesn’t mean that's not still the origin,” he rebutted.

“Even if they are the origin no one ever really thinks about that. I know I don’t. We may be giving the government money but we already do that by simply being alive in this country,” you said.

“If Christmas isn’t about any of the things that it’s actually about then what is Christmas about for you? What do you make Christmas out to be?” he asked.

“Christmas to me? Christmas is a holiday that teaches its participants about the importance of gift giving and the feeling you get when you give a gift that someone loves as opposed to receiving one,” you started.

Hobie continued listening, nodding his head indicating that he was listening to your interpretation of the holiday. He subconsciously picked a cookie up and started eating it entertained by your passion for Christmas.

“Christmas is a time to gather with the people you love most and bake, dance, drink, laugh, and love. Christmas taught me that any gift with thought behind it is a good one. I cherish an expensive perfume the same way I cherish a handmade card. The value of a gift is dependent on the love put behind it,” you continued.

“To celebrate Christmas is to see your loved ones stare at something constantly when shopping and surprising them with it as a gift because nothing feels any better than seeing that smile on their face knowing that you made someone you love so happy that they hug you or give you kiss,” you finished almost tearing up at the happy memories.

“Okay, okay, I can work with that,” Hobie started.

“Really?!” you asked as glitter and heavens sparkled in your eyes with happiness.

“Yes but the government is still tricking us all,” he joked as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side.

“Oh, whatever,” you replied, rolling your eyes as you snuggled in with him.

“I already knew that you were a holiday fanatic so I got you some gifts despite my former reluctance to celebrate Christmas,” he admitted.

“Thank you Hobie, seriously,” you said.

“Now can we go to that Christmas Eve party on the roof or what?” you asked as you took his hand and dragged him to the elevator.

“Ugh, I’ve made it a mission to never be caught at one of these functions,” Hobie nearly whined.

As the two of you exited the elevator together hand in hand it seemed like the whole party stopped and everyone turned to look at the two of you in disbelief.

“Uh Hobie, this is the Christmas party,” Peter B said double-checking to see if he knew where he was.

“It’s all good, he’s not the Grinch anymore! At least not as much as before,” you reassured as you took the drink that Peter B offered you.

“Alright then,” Peter started looking at him skeptically as Hobie nodded at him confirming your words.

“Welcome to the party my friend!” Peter B exclaimed, handing him a drink. Miguel gave the two of you a nod and you spent the rest of the night singing along and dancing to the Christmas songs that Hobie sadly didn’t have the pleasure of knowing the words to.

"How was that for your first Christmas Eve celebration?" you asked as the two of you left the roof.

"It was actually kind of fun. Odin didn't pay a visit either," he quipped.

"Alright enough of that," you said, giving his arm a playful slap.

"Okay, I had a lot of fun. Thank you for dragging me up and telling me about the magic of Christmas," Hpbie finally said.

"You're welcome. I hope you love Christmas even more when you open your gifts tomorrow," you said.

"Gifts" plural? I thought you were the only one that got me a gift," he said confused.

"Me and Miguel get you a gift every year but you're never there to open it. Don't tell the boss man I told you that all he'll do is deny and deny and I will never see the light of day," Peter B said as he attempted to rock Mayday to sleep after all the sweets she had at the party.

For the first time after hearing that news Hobie felt that feeling. That fuzzy little Christmas feeling where it feels like there are fireworks in your heart and you realize that someone saw something, thought of him, and bought it for him as a gift for the sole purpose of seeing his eyes light up on Christmas morning. Hobie was starting to love this feeling. It was a Christmas miracle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist:

@aripet22

[spindaonateaspoon]

📓 :3c

Okay so I started writing an original story based on a dream I had that fucked me up for months. Buckle up, this is a long one

The story revolved around two friends, a nonbinary MC and their male bestie, who, shortly before they're about to move off to go to separate colleges, go for a hike in the woods and find an old house. They soon realize that this house collects lost and abandoned things. All of its rooms and garden are filled with things from old houses, abandoned places, forgotten rooms. It can also change its layout, but never when they're looking. They decide to stay here for a little while, and a little while turns into a long while

Bestie has always had a crush on MC, and this is something they'd addressed and moved past, but being in this magical house together causes him to grow bored and resentful. This spooks MC, because they don't want him to leave (which they are both perfectly capable of doing; they've just chosen not to). So, in an effort to keep him happy there, MC offers to sleep with him, and they do one time. It's not particularly good, and they both feel really weird about it, and this ends up changing their relationship for the worse. They've never as comfortable around each other as they were before.

BUT, because of this, MC gets pregnant and has a son.

And this is actually really good. The two are able to find a huge swath of common ground because of their son, and things are different but they're happy. Meanwhile, MC becomes really tuned in to the house, and the house tunes in to them. While at the beginning things would appear randomly, now everyone is noticing that the house seems to be able to intune what they want and need; prioritizing their favorite foods and books, and making more blankets appear on cold nights, and shifting the layout to the house to help them get where they want to go in it. MC is much more in touch with the house than Bestie, in part because he's still not fully content there.

And then a new man walks into the house. He's a professor who was out for a hike in Appalachia, and entered out of curiosity just like MC and Bestie did. Bestie is immediately really into this guy, and the two of them get very close while MC is left behind. MC grows jealous, but tries to be open and welcoming. But they can't really get the results that they want, and soon they are cut out of their bestie's life.

And then one night they catch the new man and Bestie leaving with their baby. They try to stop them, but they can't. The man slams the door in their face, and when they open it, the three are gone, and the house isn't even where it was when they left it, so they can't go after them.

Years pass, and MC becomes a ghost in the house, existing but empty of purpose. The house takes care of them, and they become so deeply integrated into it that they can manifest things out of the house itself, directing plants to grow out of the walls and willing certain things to appear.

Then one day, Bestie, the man, their son, and a team of researchers waltz into the house. The man has returned with a team of grad students to research the house so that he can find a way to profit off of it.

While they begin the fruitless task of figuring out how the house works, MC watches from a distance. They learn that Bestie and the Man have a tumultuous relationship with a severe power imbalance with the man getting whatever he wants, that their son hasn't aged at the same rate as passing time, and that he appears to have developmental delays (which he did not have when he lived with them!). MC's lurking leads to the graduate students thinking that they are a ghost, and it's a long time before they realize that they are a) an actual person and b) have some pretty substantial history with their professor (the man) and his partner (the bestie).

A bunch of shit happens that shows the students that they're on the wrong side of whatever is going on here, and that shows MC that the man is an asshole. The tipping point is when they catch him smacking around their son. They attack him, and the two have to be broken up by the bestie and the students. The students take MC's side, bestie takes the man's side, and this is the official schism in the house.

The man, furious, decides that he's had enough and that he wants to leave, but Bestie is finally starting to figure out that his man is a piece of shit and doesn't want to go with him. The man is having none of this, and fully intends to force Bestie to leave. The house, however, is not inclined to give them time to decide, and starts heaving and moving hallways and opening doors to fling them out the open door. This is the first time that anyone has ever seen the house change. It's ALWAYS only changed when no one is looking. The house has perched itself on a massive cliff, with the intention of dumping the two of them down a long fall. Bestie ends up clinging to the bottom of the door, and his man is clinging to his waist.

The house gives MC a chance to intervene, and they offer Bestie their hand and tell him "I'll help you if you accept my help!"

And he reaches for their hand, willing to admit that he's been a huge douchebag for the better half of a decade and he knows that he has turned his back on them and that accepting this help means making it up to them...

But his man reaches up and swipes his hand away, and in doing so, breaks Bestie's hold on the door, and the two plummet to their death.

And then the houses closes the door.

I left out a lot because there were so many middle things in here but. Can you see why this dream scrambled my brain?

I got about halfway through it before I lost steam, in part because it was so emotionally trying to write that I just had to step away for a while. But I'm excited to eventually finish it! Eventually!

[forevercloudnine]

Not to be nosy, but is there any particular reason you are running a tally of which Batman villains are sterile?

I was going to say "it's a long story" but actually I guess it's a very short story

[unrestedjade]

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

[soldmysoultootomeboys]

Obey Me Brothers with a college student MC

Lucifer

♥ He’s been around for a long time, so he knows a lot of things and would be the best tutor

♥  If you're taking a class about something he doesn't know he would make an effort to learn about it. His pride doesn't allow him to NOT be the best. It would also impress you so win win.

♥ Would walk you to your class like the gentleman he is. Also to show off how taken you are.

♥ He always appears right as your walking outside

♥ During your break he’ll whisk you off to get food

♥ Doesn't really care about your major but he would be most interested in science/math/english simply because those are some of his own interests

♥ If you are a musician please show him your new pieces or even better compose a short song for him. He will practically explode with pride when he realizes you did this.

♥ Same thing if you're an artist. Draw him and surprise him with it. He might not hang it up but he would tuck the pictures away somewhere special where he could look at them in his own time.

Mammon

♥ The type of guy to try and meet you after class but also completely forgets what your schedule is and ends up outside at completely random times

♥ What do you mean you don't have Economics until 12??? I'm here right now!

♥ It's fine. It gives him time to actually find the class anyways. 

♥ When he does get it right he'll bring you drinks so you can get through class. 

♥ You'll be that bad b*tch strutting into class, a hot guy on one arm and an icy drink in the other. 

♥ Sends texts when your in boring classes so you have something to do

♥ Spams you with memes

♥ Pretends he doesn't care but if you need help he'll do his best. Very good at math and anything involving making a profit

♥ He doesn’t care about your major at all

♥ But if you’re in business prepare to hear all of his great ideas as he tries to rope you into some scheme

♥ STONKS

♥ Can probably sense trends when it comes to business too so ask him for help or ideas. He'd love showing off in front of you as well as showing you off on your amazing project.

♥ That's my human for ya!

♥ Will support you 100%

♥ Brings snacks when your studying and helps you goof off when your stressed

Levi

♥ Would love if you have online classes with him cause you two could be together

♥ Definitely the type to whine when you have to leave and try to entice you to stay home with him

♥ When it's time for a break from studying he's ready with TSL in one hand and a controller in the other

♥ Misses you like crazy when you're not around

♥ He’s not the type to leave his room but sometimes he can be tempted into showing up with a bento box he made for you. 

♥ He would try to get you into a private area to give it to you.

♥ Prepare to get the entire tsundere act of “Don’t think I care about you b-baka,” while he shoves it into your arms and runs away all while blushing

♥ If you grab him before he can leave and give him a kiss he might explode from excitement

♥ One kiss is both too much and absolutely not enough and he’ll try to get you to skip class and come back home with him instead of hanging around these normies

Satan

♥ He's super interested in all of your classes

♥ If you have online lectures he's going to sit in

♥ Actually scratch that, if you have an open campus at all he's going to find his way there. Maybe not even to your class. If he can get away with it he might just go to random lectures. 

♥ Will take your notes at the end of class to compare with his own

♥ At the end of the day he'll want to discuss everything

♥ If you can't find him in one of the many classrooms check the library

♥ Steals your textbooks

♥ Lowkey hopes you're a science major, he's very interested in the world around him and would love to talk about it with someone.

♥ He would work well with an English or History major too. He would want to talk about classics or past events.

♥ Makes a journal of things he learned

♥ If you have any interesting tidbits that he didn’t already know he would add those to it

Asmodeus

♥ Not the best at helping with school stuff. He's just not very interested in it.

♥ Rest assured he'll drag you away whenever he decides you’ve been studying too long and need a break. Unfortunately for you that's about every five minutes.

♥ Expect to have a lot of breaks to gossip and have fun.

♥ He's more supportive once he realizes better job=more money=more beauty supplies.

♥ Would love if you were in fashion or cosmetic school

♥ He will model all of your work and offer to let you practice makeup on him

♥ If he went with you to class people would think he's a student too, with how stylish he is

♥ He would also work really well with art students

♥ The type to offer to live model for your classes. Bonus: you two spend more time together. Con: He won't stop flirting with you in front of everyone

♥ Please draw him

♥ If your doing a live study he'll slowly insert himself into the landscape

♥ Not big on the messy aspect but loves your work

♥ Would color match your paints to his lipstick

♥ Wants you to paint him so he could hang it on his wall, preferably while nude

♥ Would also work well with English majors

♥ He's as vain as a cat for sweet words and could listen to you waxing poetry all day (as long as it was about him of course)

♥ Quote some romantic line from a novel and he'll melt

Beelzebub

♥ Man lives in the cafeteria

♥ All the lunch ladies already know his name

♥ You can ask him for homework help too. He probably won't be great at it but he'll try his best. Worst case worse he'll eat it so you say that your dog ate your homework.

♥ If your studying expect him to bring snacks for the two of you

♥ Doesn't understand a lot of your work, unless you're a culinary major.

♥ In that case he would be willing to try all of your dishes.

♥ All of your classmates would either love or hate him.

♥ Yes he'll try even the worst dish and compliment it but he'll also try to eat your supplies

♥ Keep him away to be safe

♥ If you're an art major he might sample the supplies every now and then. Also keep him away from still lifes he will eat the fruit, the bowl they were in, and maybe even the painting after for desert.

♥ Would probably be a good figure study model because of his sculpted form

♥ If you work in fitness he'll ask about the best workouts and stretches

♥ Invites you to the gym so you can take a look at his form

Belphie

♥ When you leave for class he'll try to trap you for naptime and cuddles instead. His arguments are very convincing.

♥ If you decide to go anyways he'll complain.

♥ Texts you during class so you'll pay attention to him

♥ Lots of study dates

♥ He doesn't study during them but he likes to lay in your lap while you do

♥ He actually understands a lot of what your working on but needs convincing if you want him to wake up and help

♥ He's like a cat

♥ If he thinks you're studying too much he'll take a nap on your notes and won't move. Don't even bother trying to push him, he won't budge.

♥ If you ignore him and get out different notes he'll decide to sleep on you instead. If that happens you're stuck until he decides to wake up. It could be a couple hours

[defdaily]

JAY B Interview [HYPEBEAST]

From GOT7 to H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B

On the 11th of May, it was announced that GOT7’s leader JAY B had joined H1GHR MUSIC. Ever since his time in JYPE, Jay B has been taking on the responsibility of writing lyrics and composing songs for albums, even participating as a producer. On Soundcloud, he has released 5 mixtapes under the name Def., showing his ambition as a solo musician in various instances. That’s why the fact that he did not join a KPOP entertainment company but instead joined H1GHR MUSIC is not a particularly surprising thing. However, it’s no lie that this will bring a huge change to his career as an artist. <HYPEBEAST> met with JAY B and had a talk about the reason he decided to move (to H1GHR MUSIC), his new single ‘Switch It Up’, his future activities as well as his ambition.

HYPEBEAST: You’re known for being on “team mint chocolate”. You even left comments about it on <HYPEBEAST>’s instagram page.

JAY B: I like the way the flavour is pungent yet wrapped up in chocolate. I don’t really like plain chocolate. I like it when something is added to it, such as chocolate milk or white chocolate, but when I had mint chocolate for the first time, it was really revolutionary. After that, I’ve been enjoying eating it.

HB: It’s still something that sparks a lot of debate. There are also a lot of products released aimed to spark controversy.

JAY B: There’s something I always say. If I am eating it well and I like it, I just hope that you won’t say things like “why would you eat that?” to me. If you’re enjoying your food and then someone next to you says that sort of thing, you’d lose your appetite, right? Just don’t say that kind of thing to someone who’s eating. Let’s love one another!

HB: Your group, GOT7, left JYP Entertainment after 7 years. How did you feel promoting without a company for the past few months?

JAY B: I feel the same now. It’s more fun. Personally, one of the reasons why I decided to leave JYP was because I wanted to take on more challenges. Maybe it’s because of that but the time I spent as a kind of freelancer felt really new. Even though I won’t be able to know everything about what kind of system I’ll be working in, I got to learn about it roughly and gained a more serious attitude regarding work. I also felt a sense of pride and that it was precious.

HB: Out of the ‘challenges’ you mentioned, your photo exhibition was one of them, right? We heard that you like taking pictures.

JAY B: Even this morning, I saw a pigeon spread only one side of its wings. I’ve never seen that before, so I wanted to take a picture of it, but in a short moment it sensed that I was there and flew away. I’m the kind of person who takes a lot of pictures of those little moments. In that way, I got to hold a photo exhibition too. Honestly, I was embarrassed to do the exhibition. I was just going to try to do it personally as a small thing with the pictures I took myself, but JYPE said “let’s do it even better”, and as we exchanged ideas, the scale got a bit larger.

HB: Is there a particular theme that you like when taking pictures?

JAY B: I’m the kind of person who comes up with (themes) as I take the pictures. As I am taking pictures of something, thoughts like “ah, it would be fun to hold exhibitions with this kind of pictures” come to mind. For my first exhibition, I took pictures revolving around the theme of ‘loneliness’, ‘living alone’, and ‘even if you are living alone, you need someone by your side’. It was mainly involving people/figures, but I actually prefer taking pictures of landscapes or larger compositions.

HB: In the past, you’ve said “I think my next album will be a product that includes the loneliness felt in life”. Is it related to your first photo exhibition <ALONE>?

JAY B: There’s no relation between the two. I wanted to work out all the feelings I had after being under a lot of pressure as I lived my life. Putting aside whether the album is good or not, I think it will be an album where I honestly share what I felt when I felt pressured. I don’t know whether or not it will be released, and if it does, I don’t know in what form it will be released in, but for now I’ve just made the album with this theme. It might sound boring, but it contains a lot of my honest thoughts.

HB: We don’t know when or how, but it will probably be released through H1GHR MUSIC now right? After your contract ended with JYP, you probably received offers from various places, why did you choose H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I’m well aware of the fact that I was protected by the fence called JYP. But as I mentioned previously, I left JYP because I wanted to try and experience something on my own. I also had doubts regarding whether I was an artist who could bring in as much profit as the company wanted. I think that changing my image in order to earn a profit is something that I’ve done a lot in the past. After leaving the company, I received offers from multiple places, and some were really good companies too. However, the most important thing was that it had to be a company that I could exchange opinions and create with. I think H1GHR MUSIC matched up with that the best.

HB: As the field of your promotions change, it will probably come with some concerns as well.

JAY B: I’m the kind of person who worries a lot and is cautious. My own concerns aside, I was really worried about whether H1GHR MUSIC’s image would be damaged because I joined. I thought people might say that an idol joining would muddy the waters* (*ruin the label’s image). No matter if there’s a good or bad reaction, H1GHR MUSIC has already accomplished things, and I would be a new addition. On top of that, I’m not someone who is just starting to make music. I’m making a new image based on the one I already had. Even so, just this once, I wanted to make a decision that was for myself. That’s why I was even more cautious with each and every step.

HB: Is the title of your new single ’Switch It Up’ referring to the changes you are going through?

JAY B: When I came up with the title, I did think that it was possible to give it that sort of meaning. I wanted to express a basic love story while also including the meaning of switching up my life. However, Jay Park hyung gave me some advice, saying that rather than doing that, it might be better for me to naturally blend in what I’ve already been doing. Following that advice, even though the title itself carries the meaning of change, the lyrics are just about love.

HB: How was your first production at H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I had a lot of concerns and was worried. After I made the decision to join H1GHR MUSIC, I told Jay hyung that I wanted to release a song or an album quickly. It just so happened Cha Cha Malone was back in Korea, so we aligned our schedules and produced songs together. Everything happened naturally. Jay hyung said that I shouldn’t go all out from the beginning, and that it’s more important to keep going steadily. I agree with that. I’m satisfied with the result too. I worry a lot so I’m the type to ask around for opinions, but everyone said it was good. But honestly, I’m not sure how the public will react to it. (laughs)

HB: Sokodomo’s feature was really impressive, how did he end up participating in the song?

JAY B: The funny thing is, it really came about naturally too. When I went to the studio, sokodomo was there and he asked if he could stay while we were working on our songs, so we said it was okay. As we worked on songs like that, after I finished up my recording, sokodomo suddenly went into the recording studio. I was wondering “what’s going on?”, but what sokodomo showed us was really good. Turns out, while I was recording, he came up with some ideas and asked if it was okay if he tried it out which I didn’t hear. But what sokodomo came up with was a style that I couldn’t express well. And so right there and then, I cautiously asked if he would be willing to feature in the song, and he agreed without hesitation. That part was so good that I even thought “I can’t be eaten by (overshadowed) sokodomo”. Haha.

HB: In the past, you were a B-boy, and even in GOT7 you received a lot of attention for your dancing. So we were wondering if we would get to see you dance to ’Switch It Up’.

JAY B: You’ll be able to see it through the live clip that will be released at the same time as the single. There are various elements in the live clip. First of all, I tried really hard to make it look cool. I sang live with sokodomo too. I think there’s a lot to see. The dance comes on at the very end. I thought that since I’m a performer, I should dance too. Honestly, at first when I listened to ‘Switch It Up’, I thought it would be kind of hard to dance to it. But even so, I have to dance. Other artists are cool too, but I think Chris Brown is really cool. He dances and sings at the same time really well. Because dance was my beginning, and I gained interest in singing later on and ended up working hard at it, I can’t let go of dance.

HB: Do you have any plans or ideas for the next album you’ll release through H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I think that I have to move quickly. I’ll have to wait and see what I’ll end up with, but for now, I think it’s closer to a chill vibe. ‘Switch It Up’ was chill, but it still had a kind of energy to it. Rather than that, I think it will probably be the kind of music that is suitable to listen to while going for a drive. I want to show music that’s groovier and more sensual as much as possible. But I still don’t know. It’s possible that the company might say “let’s go for pop.” I want to create things together with the company, so I’m open to accommodating their opinions for a couple songs.

HB: You’re also promoting with the name Def. and not Jay B. Why did you come up with the name Def.?

JAY B: Actually, even in the early days of GOT7, I didn’t feel any attachment to the name JB. I felt really strongly that it was a name that someone else came up with. I’m more comfortable with people calling me by my birth name, Jaebeom, too. Of course, I like it now. I wanted to separate Jay B and Def., that’s why they are separated. When I was in JYP, I got permission to release my music on Soundcloud, but I couldn’t release albums separately. So I released all the music that I couldn’t release as JB through Def. For now, I decided I would make music that people could approach more comfortably under the name Jay B, and I would release things that are more to what I want to do through Def. I’m not sure how it will end up in the future though.

HB: Listening to the music under these two names, there is quite a difference. The music you release under the name Def. has more characteristics of the neo soul genre.

JAY B: When I made <1/? Vol. 1>, I liked trap soul, so it contains a lot of that kind of music. After that as well, it mostly is filled with songs that were the style that I liked at the time. If you listen to my mixtape, excluding the intro and outro, there are about 5 songs. While I prepared those songs, I also worked on 15 songs that would be for GOT7 albums at the same time, making about 20 songs at a time. I’d work on GOT7 songs from morning till late night and if I had time, I would then work on my mixtape. That’s why they are songs that I really cherish. People might wonder why I would work so hard, but I thought that as an idol, I have to do my job well so that I can gain autonomy within the company. That’s why I worked hard and pushed myself to my limits.

HB: When will we be able to hear your music as Def.?

JAY B: Firstly, I want to get my name as Jay B out there, and later on I want to use the name Def. again when I can do what I want. Things that are more unusual, alternative, and experimental.

HB: Hearing you talk, we can really feel the love you have for music. You also seem like a realistic person.

JAY B: It’s because I feel that if I stubbornly insist on doing what I want to do and it doesn’t turn out well, I’d get a rough reality check. I’m a cautious person, so if I persist only on what I want and then fail, I’d end up thinking that I just have no aptitude for music, and I thought that is more dangerous. If that happens, I’d feel sorry for the music that I like and I might even think that there was something wrong with the music or genres that I like. People might say that that’s “not real”, but it’s “real” to me. It’s just my way of living.

HB: You’re currently also in the crew ‘ØFFSHORE.’ What kind of crew is it?

JAY B: It’s a place where people who sell songs commercially and people who make their own music gather. It started with the purpose of people with the same interests making fun music together and releasing it. Offshore has the meaning of “shore/coast”. On the shore, there are lots of living things. There are times when the waves crash but also times when it’s calm. Just like my Def. character, I think it’s a place where I can freely include things I’ve never done before. It will carry on in the future too, but we won’t have any eye-catching activities. We’ll just go on calmly.

HB: As you share your stories, we’re getting curious about Jay B as a producer too. Will we be able to hear songs that you produce for other artists someday?

JAY B: When I was in JYP, I’ve sent out songs that the publisher said would not work for GOT7. There were also songs that were selected by other people but could not be used because of my name. Now, I don’t think there will be those sorts of limitations, so I want to try producing for other people too. I don’t have confidence in being responsible for someone or nurturing trainees, though. I’m still busy trying to feed myself. But even so, I’d like to try to produce just one song for someone else. I would have a sort of image about someone, right? An image that they themselves wouldn’t even know. I think the process of trying to bring that out would be fun. Of course, I’m focused on my music now, but it would be nice if I got the chance someday.

HB: Another GOT7 member, Yugyeom, joined AOMG. Fans can’t help but look forward to the reunion of your unit ‘Jus2’.

JAY B: Since Yugyeom is in AOMG, I think that if we talk to Jay hyung, it’s possible that we will release something as Jus2. Jus2 and JJ Project both include Jay B, but they are also units that are part of GOT7. I think that if we work hard at promoting them too, fans would feel a sense of security. I think that from now on is the time when both I, as well as GOT7, have to really do well.

HB: You mentioned that you wanted to release 1 GOT7 album a year.

JAY B: I don’t know whether it will work out, but we have to try and plan for it. I’ve mentioned multiple times that GOT7 has not disbanded. I believe that I should keep my word. Right now, everyone is actually busy working on their own things. Even so, we want to try and make one song for GOT7 a month, so that we can promote about once a year.

HB: You have a strong image as a great leader and hyung in GOT7. What would you like to show as JAY B in H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I would like to hear people say “ah, I guess they did a good job bringing him in”. I hope that when people listen to ’Switch It Up’, they won’t think that “Jay Park made the wrong choice this time”. I think it would be nice if people thought that I was worth anticipating. Not that they brought in some strange kid. I don’t want to get cursed at. Haha.

HB: Do you have a final goal you want to achieve as an artist?

JAY B: I don’t. I just want to keep on steadily and quietly making music. To me, saying that you want to receive some sort of reward or that you want to become something is quite vague. I just hope that I can gain the drive to keep going on steadily and continue that cycle of creation. That’s all.

Translation by @mindellay x @defdaily

May contain slight inaccuracies.

[gallus-rising]

the timeline of Birds of a Feather as explained by a series of Crow’s most prominent and far reaching Incidents

Incident 0: the shapeshiting cat [NAME REDACTED] is in vulture form sailing across the desert fleeing a great famine. he spots Some Human Loser who is also fleeing... something but bc he ran out into the Fuckin Desert alone and w nothing he’s collapsed on the ground dying. [NAME REDACTED] heads down and tries to save That Guy by, like, dragging him to safety despite This Dude telling him to give up and leave him to die. [NAME REDACTED] doesn’t and both of them die of exhaustion. they wake up as immortals for Reasons and That Dude’s faith in humanity (and sentient life general ig) bc this tiny cat died trying to save him, a random stranger, and they become bffs

Incident 1:  [NAME REDACTED] got sent on a p bog standard political assassination and never came back. due to the fact he’d been expressing Unpopular Opinions for the past while it was assumed he’d either defected or just left. what actually happened was the whole thing was a trap to nab and incapacitate him and/or An Important Advisor Guy. since neither of them can die via starvation or dehydration it’s v efficient to just bind them and throw ‘em in a basement somewhere. [NAME REDACTED] spent around 50 years alone in a basement somewhere before he tricked someone into killing him. after respawning he made a a b-line straight to everyone who “abandoned” him. many lineages were ended in the process, sending multiple countries into succession crises and triggering a dark age

Incident 2: Electric Boogaloo: thousands of years have passed, technology has greatly advanced, ppl have figured out how to make large portal gates for easy travel! there was a lot of danger around them in the early days bc if one gate is destroyed the one on the other end will violently explode. dw tho safety regulations and such, no gates can be built in major metropolitan areas, you can’t built a “hub” of gates too close to each other so as not to trigger a chain reaction, they are highly profitable so more and more keep getting built. anyways they make travel super easy! so ofc ppl start making ones to difficult locations. big mountains, deep sea, the moon. Crow and the besties go to check out the soon to open moon gate, and what do you know! multiple of them immortal bitches also decided to check them out. TLDR: it’s not a good idea to get in big crazed magic battles near cutting edge tech, and the bigger they are the harder they fall

Incident 3: Revengeance: this one dude West gets out of that clusterfuck alive and w Crow in tow. he’s one of the many, many, ppl that want Crow Dead For Real This Time, so he’s been watching and studying and trying for centuries. see when Crow respawns he lies dormant until he hits his og death age of 16-ish months, and West’s working theory is that Crow doesn’t reincarnate so much as he “steals” the nearest and youngest cat body, and there’s got to be an range for that. his plan was to capture Crow and test this theory in the middle of fuckin Point Nemo or w/e, but now there’s obviously a bit of a hold on that. West makes it to a protected and fully locked down city and shoves Crow in a basement somewhere. West then politics himself into leadership positions, as he is wont to do, and starts exterminating all cats in the city. since no one’s getting in or out for who knows how long, and he’s pretty sure most life on the other side of the dome isn’t there anymore (spoiler; he’s wrong) it only takes a couple of decades to totally wipe out the cat population. he finally kills Crow and that’s that taken care of

Incident 4: New Beginnings: West tried to account for the fact that in a world where shapeshifting animals exist there could be human/cat hybrids. he did not account for how long that ancestry can go back while still having the person count as a “cat” for the purposes of Crow respawning. an infant Jack, the younger of a pair of twins (missed a bullet there Jade!) gets hijacked. but, like, he’s still there, and Crow’s gonna be dormant until his og death age of 16-ish months, which is now around 14-16 years in human time, so now Jack grows up w a weird kind-of-imaginary friend who Knows Things and has bad dreams all the time and (violently) protects him from mortal (this term is loosely defined) danger! and then one day Jack’s friend wakes up

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Though winds of change are blowing wild and free

Inspired by @softlass27 here's their first year on the run. Just a few little snippets of their life and the bumps along the way. I'm playing fast and loose with legalities over money and property etc so go with it. If Emmerdale can stick Harriet in a cellar for weeks and think it's good then I can do this.

(AO3 link)

Aaron yawned as he switched off the engine. He’d been driving for hours, putting as many miles between them and Emmerdale as he could. Robert had driven some of the way but he’d started to flag and on unfamiliar roads, Aaron hadn’t wanted to risk it so he’d taken over.

He looks over at him, still sleeping, head resting against the window. He still couldn’t quite believe what had happened in the past day and a half and just how much their lives were changed. It hadn’t felt like this the last time. He’d been running then, more from everything in the village and in his head than the actual charges he was facing. This time though, this time he’d been happy, they’d had a pretty perfect life in Emmerdale, and now, that was gone.

He truly hoped they could do it, that it wouldn’t break them. For all his words to Paddy the day before he couldn’t help but wonder. Had it been part of why he and Ed had broken up in the end, had it been there in the background making everything else worse until they’d just given up.

He and Robert weren’t him and Ed, he knew that, but he couldn’t bear to think of the two of them growing so far apart they can’t be fixed, not after everything.

Then again the alternative is prion, and Aaron’s not stupid, he knows Robert wouldn’t cope. Not that he’s not strong, he’s the strongest person Aaron knows, but prison gets inside you, eating at you from the inside out and Robert shouldn’t have to face that.

They’d make it work, they’d have to. There was no other choice.

“Hey sleepyhead. We’re here.” He loves watching Robert wake up, how he fights it, wanting to go back to the warmth of sleep and whatever dream he’s having, how he’ll take a deep breath before he finally opens his eyes, and smiling when he sees him. “You with me.”

“Yeah.” His voice is hoarse and he coughs a little as he looks up at the B&B they’d found online. “Looks ok.”

“Let’s get in and get some sleep then. We’ll sort everything else tomorrow.”

“Last chance.” He frowns, doesn’t know what he means. “To back out.”

“Never. Come on.” He’d tell him as many times as he needed. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Day 1

He’d laid awake most of the night, listening to Robert’s little snores, glad he was sleeping. Aaron had let him, part of him had enjoyed the peace, allowing him to get his thoughts in order. Everything had happened so fast he'd just done it all without thinking. Not that he was having second thoughts, not for a minute but there was so much to think about. They had to find somewhere to live, work, all sorts. He was pretty sure they'd be safe now as long as they kept their heads down but even so they'd be looking over their shoulders forever. They needed to make a list of everything they had to do. Maybe they should’ve done it the night before but after they'd checked in they'd just gone straight to sleep both too exhausted to do anything else.

He looks over at Robert, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up, the lazy smile when he sees him. Being with him was worth it. always would be. He shuffles closer needing him to know that he'd always be there, always by his side.

"You ok?" He still looks a little shell shocked by the whole thing and Aaron supposes that's normal. He has an advantage after doing this before he supposes.

Thankfully he hadn't asked about why he was so late getting to him but he would soon enough, and he didn't really want to get into it because Robert will just feel guilty and it's not him who has to feel that way.

"Yeah."

"So, What's first?"

“Breakfast.” He was starving. The last thing he’d eaten had been a pasty on the ferry that had frankly seen better days.

Later they’re staring up at a cottage that’s for rent in the next village to where they'd stayed the night. South of Paris, Aaron considered it isolated enough that they'd be safe. It wasn't anything near as grand as Mill, but it had everything they needed and it wouldn't cost the earth. In time they'd likely want something bigger, or need to move, but for now it was home.

“You like it?” He asks him, arm slipping round his waist.

“Yeah. We can make it home, can’t we?”

“Yeah. I’ll need to call Cain soon though. We’re going to need money. What we’ve got won’t last forever. He can send me everything I need to give him permission to sell the scrapyard.”

“What?”

“It’s not like I’m going back there is it? Should get a decent sum for it, business is good.” Robert looks disappointed, almost devastated at his words. “We’ll need the money Robert and you can hardly do anything with your part of the haulage firm right now.”

"You have money." Aaron frowns up at him because the last time he checked his bank account it hadn't been so healthy. "When I thought I'd be going down for GBH, I transferred the money we'd put by for surrogacy into your account."

“What?" He’d never said a word. How had he not noticed that Robert was quietly planning for not being there anymore.

"It felt like the right thing, and besides, then we were still thinking of going ahead. You would've needed it. You can get Cain to sort it, transfer it or whatever. Then he can send any profits from the scrapyard over, at least until we work out how much we’re going to need.”

"I...ok." It makes sense, he just hadn't connected it as his mind that their dream of another baby was over. "Yeah. Right I should go call, get things moving. I won't be long."

"Aaron, wait." He tries to shake the hand off his arm but Robert's stubborn, won't let go. “I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that…I’m sorry.”

"What for?"

"Just one more thing I've ruined isn't it. Maybe if I hadn’t taken so long to decide to have a baby, or if we’d just gone ahead with it instead of trying to scam Graham, we might have our baby right now.” Maybe he’s right, but then again they could hardly have gone on the run with a newborn baby, which would mean he’d be in prison.

"No!" He breathes out, trying to stop tears falling at the thought. It'd just make Robert feel worse. "No...I just hadn't thought. It's fine. Really. Like you say it makes sense to hold onto the yard. Hey…it’s ok.”

"I don't want you looking back in a year and hating me." Robert's staring at the ground, hands fidgeting and this time it's Aaron who's holding on, holding his chin so he'll meet his gaze.

"I won't, Robert. I promise you I won't. Messed up forever, isn't that what you said once?" He nods, a hint of a smile.

"Now let’s have a look inside before we do anything. Then if we want it I’ll call Cain. We’ve got enough for a couple of months rent with us anyhow. But I’m telling you now, if there’s a spiral staircase in there, I’m out.”

“Oi, there was nothing wrong with that staircase!”

The inside is better than he could hope and even better that it’s available from that day and the next thing he knows they’re unloading what little they have from the car.

"Is that the last of it?" Robert asks from the kitchen where he’s checking what cooking bits and pieces they have.

“Yeah.” He looks around. It’s nice, he thinks they can turn it into home soon enough, but he feels lonely all of a sudden standing there in a strange house. “I should go and get some food, take a quick look around, just in case.”

“Hey, slow down. You don’t have to do everything right this minute. I nicked the tea out of the room we had, we can suffer it black for now.”

“Robert, stuff needs sorting.”

“And it will be, but you haven’t stopped since we got up this morning.”

“I need to make sure we’re safe Robert. We’re not on a bloody holiday!”

“Don’t you think I know that? But unless the police are around the corner I think you can take five minutes to sit and have a cuppa before you fall down. Now sit.”

“So it’s going to be like this now is it? Bossing me around?”

“Figured a change is as good as a rest.” He hands him a mug and he wraps his hands round it. "So, while we settle in are you going to tell me what happened when you went home? You’ve been suspiciously quiet about it all.”

"I told you, Cain took ages." He busies himself blowing on the hot drink, refusing to look his husband in the eye.

"Yeah, and like I told you I know that's a load of rubbish. What happened Aaron? Look, I won't be mad if you had second thoughts. I half expected you wouldn't turn up if I'm honest.” That makes him look up, then again he’d known that’s where his mind would go.

"What? No, that was... Rob that's so far off..." He sighs, putting the tea down before joining him on the sofa. "I'd got the passports already. I was at home getting our stuff. when Paddy turned up."

"Paddy. What did he want?"

"Basically to stop me leaving. An intervention if you like.” He shivers a little, thoughts of what if they’d succeeded crossing his mind.

"What did he do?" He's annoyed already, Aaron knows that tone, and he rests his hand over his, trying to calm him down.

"Locked me in, threw the keys in the waste disposal, then he and Liv spent the night telling me how awful you were, how wrong I was to be coming with you." He tells him everything, brushing away the tears when they start spilling from Robert's eyes.

“He did what?" It comes out in a growl and Aaron knows he's angry . He was, but now it's changed into sadness. Sadness that they'd rather lose him by pushing him away than respecting his decisions.

"I didn't listen not for a minute.”

"They thought it was ok to lock a grown man in his own house? Why the hell didn't you tell me before?"

"What would you have done? Gone back to Emmerdale and ripped Paddy a new one?” He already knows the answer which is precisely the reason he hadn’t said a word. As much fun it might’ve been to see it, it wasn’t worth the risk.

"Yes!"

"Which would've achieved what?"

"Would've made me feel a whole lot better." Aaron chuckles despite everything because the look on his face is exactly the same as Seb's when they had tried to feed him pureed carrots for the first time." And…I’d thought maybe…”

“Maybe what?" He asks when Robert stops, staring into space.

"Nothing."

"No go on.” He has a bad feeling about this, wants it all out in the open.

"When I was waiting...you were so long, and my mind was all over the place. I kept thinking that...I wanted you to be safe..."

“I am."

"Are you? If I'd...I thought that it might be easier to...I thought about handing myself in." He gets up shrugging off Aaron's hand. "I thought that at least if I did that while we were still in England I would know you were safe, that you'd have your family, that they'd look after you."

"You were going to leave me?” His voice cracks as he gets up to go to Robert. It’s not as though he didn’t think Robert would sacrifice himself for him, he already knows he would, but the knowledge that it had come that close because of his family left him cold.

"For your own good. You would've been with your family, they'd look after you and you'd get to have a life without looking over your shoulder."

"You really think that's how it would've gone? Even before I told you this? That they'd look after me?"

"Well obviously not now! But then, yeah. I’d spoken to your Mum, said she should keep an eye on you when I was away so yeah I thought she’d actually do it!”

"I didn’t know that. Blimey. Wish I’d been there to see it.” It does the trick and breaks the tension. “You’re wrong though.”

“Why?” He pulls him back to the sofa, holding him close.

"Shall I tell you how it would go...If you had taken notice of your conscience, which frankly needs better timing, and handed yourself in, left me…They'd be sympathetic, at first, then they'd start, little by little suggesting I have a night out, have some fun. Then my Mum, or Liv, probably both would point out any cute blokes that come into the pub. Then I'd end up going out with one of them to keep the peace. All the while they'd be running you down so I don't even feel I can mention you at all. It'd be like you never existed."

"Aaron, don’t.” He can hear the pain in his voice at the thought that his good deed would’ve end up that way, but he needs to know, if only so it puts the notion of doing something stupid out of his mind for good. “They might not…they’ve might’ve just been there for you.”

"No, you need to know. That's how it would be and you know how I know that? Because they've done it before. When we broke up, that's exactly what happened. So no, don't ever think I might be better off with them instead of you."

"I didn't know…well I knew your Mum and Paddy tolerated me, but even so, I always thought they’d wants what’s best for you, no matter what.”

“Maybe once they did, but I was thinking it over while I was driving last night, it’s not. It’s about what they want. It’s never been about what’s best for me, ever since Mum was dating Carl King. It’s always been about what she wants and I have to fit in with that. Sometimes she’s better but in the end it always goes back to the same thing. I’ve started to realise just how much I've done what they wanted over the years, taken the easy way out.”

“You?”

“Until I met you at least. Then again Mum did always say you were a bad influence on me.”

“Ta very much.”

“They’ve gone too far now though Rob, you know that. I’ll never forgive them for this. If I’d been just half an hour later…I would’ve lost you. It doesn’t bear thinking about. That’s why I want everything right, so we’re safe, so I don’t lose you.”

“Come here.” Robert wraps him up in his arms, strong and warm and he doesn’t ever want to be anywhere else. “Just one thing. How did you get out of the house?”

“Oh.” He scratches his beard, trying to keep the laughter in. “Bathroom window. You would’ve thought Paddy would’ve remembered that one after seeing you leg it, but no. Scarpered and left them locked in. I’ll have to remember to ask Cain how long it took ‘em to get out.”

Robert’s laughter is the most beautiful sound he’s heard in days.

[tartagilicious]

[CN] victor’s double seventh/qixi date (eng)

this translation was a whole trip mythological aus are the best 😭 for this date, because his name is important to the plot, I decided to keep it as his CN name, Li Zeyan!

all of the qixi translations this year were divided up by a small group of translators, and you can find them on their blogs: @cheri-translates​ did Gavin’s, @redqueenschoice​ did Shaw’s and Lucien’s (though they’re available on Cheri’s blog), @skyholders​ did Kiro’s, and of course, I did Victor’s!

— 

Soldier A: Where did you go?

Soldier B: There is no other way, they must have run into the woods!

Officer A: Chase them!

The voices of the officers and soldiers faded away. I slowly rose from the riverbank and made sure there was no one around. Finally, after a while passed, I stood up straight and took a few deep breaths.

Gripping the peach wood sword in one hand, I carefully picked up my skirt and prepared to step ashore.

??: who are you?

MC: !

As soon as I was about to act, my arm was suddenly pulled tightly, and the sword in my hand almost fell.

I turned my head to see a man behind me squinting at me, and his expression became even more gloomy when he saw my sword. With horns on top of his head, and a tail behind him trailing up to my legs, he seemed to want to impede my actions…

??: This sword…

MC: D-Demon!

I yelled desperately to avoid him, but he was too strong, my attempts ultimately having no effect.

Soldier B: I heard her voice! Over there!

Hearing the voices of officers and soldiers coming from the fork of the mountain road, me and the “Youkai” in front of me were both stunned.

[youkai (妖怪) are a class of supernatural monsters in japanese folklore, and the term doesn’t translate to anything directly, but traditionally means demon or spirit]

I was suddenly reminded of the importance of keeping the peach sword. I didn’t know where I borrowed the strength from, but I broke free of his shackles and forced him back into the water.

MC: Demon, since you haven’t had time to eat me, I won't involve you… so, you hide here, I have to go first!

I picked up my skirt to run once again, but the soaked clothes had since become heavier, and I almost couldn’t even stand firm when I left the river. A very light sigh seemed to be heard behind me, and I was pulled back into the water by force, my back pressing against a warm chest.

MC: you--

“Youkai” ignored me, just casually glancing at the soldiers and officers passing by. I followed his gaze and saw that the vines on the edge of the cliff moved by themselves, entangling the ankles of the officers and soldiers and throwing them back onto the mountain road.

MC: You… be merciful. They are annoying, but not deserving of death.

??: They are not qualified to be killed by me.

As soon as the voice fell, the several officers and soldiers got up and stumbled away. I had just breathed a sigh of relief when the “Youkai” behind me refocused on me.

??: What crime did you commit?

MC: I didn’t commit any crime! I only got my belonging back, it’s those people who are wrong.

I hugged the sword in my arms angrily, and noticing his gaze on me, I immediately regained my bearings.

MC: well… thank you for helping me just now, but can you please not eat me?

??: Didn’t you dare to push me into the water?

He pointed to the peach wood sword in my arms.

??: Is that what opens the barrier?

Barrier?

I looked down thoughtfully. I once heard my father say that there is a kind of barrier that can seal away monsters, and only a peach wood sword stained with one’s blood can break open the entrance. Since more than ten years ago, outside the barrier is no longer home to monsters, but--

MC: could it be that you are… the Guardian Saint Black Dragon?

MC: it’s really a dragon horn… the scales on your tail are so shiny! And wow.. Your clothes are satin. Did you make it yourself?

[stop it mc you’re embarrassing the both of us ;;]

Black Dragon: …

I didn’t expect that I would meet the Guardian saint, and my curiosity was overwhelming, so I forgot how fierce he was just now. Just when I wanted to study his hair again, he suddenly grabbed my hand and pressed me firmly into the shore.

Black Dragon: Have you touched enough?

MC: um…

Black Dragon: You are also a criminal..

I caught his dangerous gaze and swallowed nervously. His gaze moved down my face and finally stopped on the peach wood sword.

Black Dragon: Open the barrier again.

MC: What?

Black Dragon: Open it, and I can count it as you making up for just now.

I don’t know what the consequences of letting the Guardian saint leave without authorisation is, but I still obey what I feel in my heart and nod in agreement. The Black Dragon released his hold on me, but he kept his eyes on me as I walked away, as if he didn’t trust me to honour my promise.

MC: Lord Guardian, do you dislike humans?

Black Dragon: I just don’t trust them.

MC: hmm…. Humans can be very cunning. Someone did you a favour today, and you may be asked to return the favour later.

Black Dragon: ...What do you want to say?

I watched his expression and carefully considered my words.

MC: Now that I’ve promised to open the barrier, I will not break that promise. But, you’ve also seen the situation just now. If I go back like this, I definitely will not be able to keep this sword.

Black Dragon: Is it important to you?

MC: Yeah… My family has been slaying monsters for generations, and this sword is our heirloom. A while ago, the owner of the Jianzhu Workshop stole it. I took it back, but it seems that I’ll have to hide in the future.

Black Dragon: You come from a family that eliminates monsters, so why are you still afraid of them?

I recalled the exaggerated reaction just now, and chuckled embarrassedly.  

MC: Because in the ten years since you were locked away, the world has been very peaceful. We have become accustomed to a world without monsters.

MC: Suddenly seeing someone that’s so different from me, of course I’ll be shocked…

The Black Dragon raised his eyebrows without further comment.

MC: Why don’t we make an exchange! I will help you open the barrier, and you will help me settle the situation. This must not be difficult for you.

Black Dragon: This is the “favour” you want me to pay back?

MC: Yes. I will set the conditions right now as to raise the value in the future. This is an exchange where you can make profit without losing anything.

The Black Dragon was silent for a while, and finally nodded gently

Black Dragon: I can help you, but you must protect important things in the future. Additionally, I won’t help you a second time.

MC: I will! Thank you, Guardian Lord!

I took him down the path and into the city, brainstorming how to have him move around the city without obstacles.

MC: By the way, when we go into town, is it possible that you can hide the horns and tail?

Black Dragon: I can.

He lowered his eyes and blinked, and the dragon horns and tails disappeared.

MC: Ok…. I still need to know your name.

Black Dragon: You do not need to know.

MC: Then, how do you expect me to call you in the city? Are you still called the Guardian Saint?

Black Dragon: That’s not possible.

MC: Lord Black Dragon? Lord?

He frowned and stared at me, not seeming to like my options. I racked my brain to think of more titles, and he sighed, seeming to have come to a decision.

Black Dragon: My surname is Li.

--

In order to avoid the officers and soldiers who might reappear at any time, we were cautious all the way before finally returning home along the right path. However, just as I opened the door, the voice I didn’t want to hear sounded from behind me.

??: Yo, isn’t this that little robber? I didn’t expect to run into people not yet caught by the government today.

The owner of Jianzhu Workshop actually had a group of people wait by my house! I hurriedly hid the peach wood sword behind my back, and stepped forward to block the Black Dragon.

MC: You stole my things, and are so embarrassed that you want the government to arrest me?

Boss: No one saw me steal your things, but many people saw you steal things from my store. What are you going to do?

Most of the people behind him responded and began to surround me. I’m suddenly nervous and at a loss. But, then I see the Black Dragon standing beside me with his arms lifted slightly.

Those who came close seemed to hit an invisible wall, bumping one by one and falling backwards. No matter how many times they tried, they didn’t make any ground.

Boss: T-This is magic! You are monsters!

The group of people looked on at us in horror and kept backing away. The boss ushered them away disdainfully and drew his sword.

Boss: You turned out to have a monster as a helper, but don’t think that this will scare me!

After speaking, he flew forward and leaped, with the sharp tip of his sword barreling straight towards my face. I subconsciously closed my eyes, but the coolness of metal breaking through air did not come as expected.

I hesitated for a moment before slowly opening my eyes, and saw that the boss’s figure was stagnated in the air, and the tip of his sword had stopped less than three inches from my face. In the next second, he also bounced far away like his men had before him, and the sword fell on the ground with a crisp clang.

Boss: What kind of monster is this… cough cough… it’s so powerful.

I secretly glanced at the Black Dragon next to me. He still stood there quietly, as if he hadn’t paid attention to the scene just now.

The boss reluctantly stood up with his sword and walked towards us, but stopped halfway obediently under the gaze of the Black Dragon.

Boss: I can’t beat you anyway, so let’s be honest with each other. I want that sword to conquer the Black Dragon. You should have heard that legend, right? The peach wood sword that has eliminated a demon -- as long as it’s stained with the blood of the Guardian Saint, he will surrender to me.

Boss: Now that the sword is in your hands, as long as you agree to cooperate with me, I can give you a share of the reward as compensation.

MC: It’s too vain to do that!

Boss: Mankind has been eliminating demons for many years, isn’t this point of return justified?

The surrounding temperature seemed to drop suddenly, and I held my sword tighter.

MC: Don’t even think about it. Xiao Li, don’t listen to his nonsense. Let’s tie him up and send him to the government!

I yelled this with a strong momentum, but the fingers hidden under my sleeve secretly hooked onto the Black Dragon’s hand and shook, hoping that he would not mind the disrespectful name. He glanced at me unhappily, but still moved his fingers, making the owner unable to escape.

Seeing some onlookers appeared nearby, I pulled the Black Dragon back, wanting to end this farce as soon as possible.

MC: Everyone is watching. If you still want to keep the Jianzhu Workshop in business, you should move on quickly and forget the ideas you shouldn’t have.

Boss: ….

MC: If you don’t speak, I’ll assume that you agree.

Black Dragon: He is speechless now.

I was stunned for a moment, looking at the flushing boss. But I looked at the Black Dragon and suddenly understood. So, I cleared my throat and deliberately amplified the sound.

MC: Now that you’ve realised your mistakes, go to the government and confess your guilt honestly. As long as you are willing to tell the truth this time, I will not care too much. I believe that the government will give us a fair verdict.

--

After testifying with the government, I locked the door of my house and lit a fire in the corner of the yard. Since the Black Dragon was trapped behind the barrier here, many legends that do not tell the truth have emerged, gradually ranging from spreading his divine power to how to conquer him.

Many seniors believed that the peach wood sword would be abused by people with ulterior motives, so they wanted to destroy the sword. But, it used to be a glory in the family and it was a relic of my father’s. I have always cherished it very much and am not willing to destroy it.  

Until now, I have not really realised how disturbing its existence is.

The wooden sword was thrown into the flame, and the flame seemed to have received my worry, and quickly rose to swallow it. I waited until the flame went out and I doused the embers before returning to the house.

The Black Dragon was not there, and the window facing the black dragon was open. I hurried to the window and heard a little noise coming from the pond.

As soon as I slipped out, I saw the Black Dragon immersed in the pond water, seeming to be examining his own strength. The water around him seemed to diverge and gather, but only for a moment before it suddenly fell back into the pool, revealing his figure. He leaned casually on the bank, his slender fingers outstretched slightly.

The falling flowers on the water floated back onto the shore, embossed under the roots of the trees. The hanging water curtain not far away turned into layers of mist with his simple instruction, and fell onto the other branches with a crisp rustling noise.

For a while, I so surprised that I could hear nothing but the beating of my own heart in my chest.

This is… the strength that has always protected us.

In some kind of broad tenderness, this casual moment silenced the whole world.

He has a small wound on his body that is slowly bleeding, but he doesn’t seem to care. At this time, he had long faded away from his initial vigilance and suspicion, as if he had just found a comfortable place to nurse his fatigue.

Looking at this scene, I suddenly thought that if I had looked at his eyes more when we first met, I definitely wouldn’t have misunderstood his identity. Such a clear and quiet gaze could only belong to a truly powerful being.

Black Dragon: Don’t hide, come out.

MC: Sorry, I didn’t mean to peek on purpose… I thought you were gone.

Black Dragon: I am indeed ready to leave.

Hearing him say this, I felt a little reluctant.

Black Dragon: But I still have a question for you.

MC: What’s the problem?

Black Dragon: Why did you reject that person just now?

I was stunned for a moment, and then realised what he was referring to.

MC: ...The person stealing other people’s things is not credible, and I’m not interested in the conditions he offered. What’s more, is that the sword in my family has been used for generations to eliminate evil, and it cannot hurt a Guardian Saint who brings peace.

I couldn’t help but glance at his wound, and found a handkerchief in my pocket and handed it over.

MC: Why are you hurt?

He turned away slightly, his expression a little unnatural.

Black Dragon: The yard is too small and there are too many trees.

I looked at the small branches scattered around the pond and smirked internally. Naturally, this place can’t be compared with the vast forest. He obviously hasn’t adapted to the new area yet.

MC: Your blood seems to be very important, so wait for me to help you bandage it.

The Black Dragon looked at me, smiled lightly, and grabbed my wrist.

Black Dragon: The legend of the peach sword is false.

MC: What?

Black Dragon: Do you really want to hear more about it?

Looking into his smiling eyes, I almost lost my consciousness and nodded subconsciously. With a little force in his hand, he drew me closer, and the low voice sounded through my ears.

Black Dragon: The conditions that make me surrender never come from other things.

Black Dragon: You asked my name before. Do you know its true meaning?

--

Black Dragon: No way.

MC: I’m really fine!

Black Dragon: If I say no, it means no.

MC: But there is no other way. You’re a guest and a noble Guardian saint, I can't possibly let you sleep on the ground, right?

Black Dragon: …

Considering that the Guardian Saint was injured in my home, I warmly invited him to stay overnight, and he gave me the chance “to make up for the past”. I had taken the initiative to bandage the wound and make dinner for him, but after a smooth night, I suddenly hit a wall in sleeping.

I forgot that my cabin has limited space and only one bed. So, I was going to sleep on the floor, but he didn’t allow it. I had forgotten about the possibility of sleeping in the same bed, so, after thinking about it, I carried the quilt on the ground onto the bed.

Ignoring his surprised gaze, I first climbed into the innermost side of the bed, turned my back to him and patted the empty space behind me.

MC: If nothing else, I sleep very soundly!

I eavesdropped on the man behind me, and after a long silence, I finally heard the sound of the quilt being lifted once again.

The night was still deep, but we laid still for a long time. I still couldn’t sleep. Though, I still remember what he said to me by the pond--

Black Dragon: Names are a curse.

MC: Lord Guardian, are you asleep?

Black Dragon: ...Not yet.

MC: I have a question. Since the name is a kind of curse, many people usually call me, so why didn’t I feel it?

Black Dragon: Because you are all ordinary people.

MC: Is that right…

My curiosity flared up again.

MC: Lord Guardian, my name is ___. Since I am called ordinary, can I ask the unusual Guardian saint to recite it?

I waited for a long time, and the person behind me didn’t respond, as if he didn’t want to acknowledge my whim. I was beginning to grow restless, so I tightened the quilt corner and leaned against the bed.

Black Dragon: Li Zeyan.

MC: ...What?

Li Zeyan: My name. Go to bed now and you’ll still remember it.

MC: !

MC: Did you really just tell me that? Is it okay to?

Li Zeyan: ...If you dare not accept it, I can make you forget now.

MC: Wait, wait! I accept! But, if this isn’t a mantra, does it matter if i recite it?

Li Zeyan: You can give it a try.

MC: ..Li Zeyan

Li Zeyan: Good.

Li Zeyan responded reluctantly and put out the candle. I waited for a while, and it was quiet behind me, as if nothing happened. I’ve been so overwhelmed by the excitement of knowing his name that even in the dark, I'm not willing to close my eyes.

MC: Li Zeyan?

My answer was another stretch of silence.

I grabbed the quilt, and an uncontrollable impulse that could no longer be subdued was relieved through the curling of my lips. So, my brain began whirring and three words suddenly came out.

[she says three words because Victor’s chinese name, Li Zeyan, is characterised like this: 李泽言]

MC: Li Zeyan.

As soon as I was finished speaking, I felt that the bed next to me suddenly sank, my shoulder was caught, and I was pulled over. Before I could even utter an exclamation, I met Li Zeyan’s close face.

Li Zeyan: What are you trying to do?

It seems that every time I get close to him, I can’t think, I can only let the thoughts in my head slip to my lips.

MC: I just think your name sounds nice. I wanted to say again.

Li Zeyan seemed to be taken aback, and his hand holding me loosened.

Li Zeyan: Have you said it enough now? Shut up and sleep when you’ve had enough.

MC: But, I still want to hear you say my name. You know, everything must be exchanged in the human world, and I will sleep only when you say it.

Li Zeyan had probably never heard of such a request before and stopped talking, seeming to be judging if I was joking or not. Seeing that I still met his gaze firmly, he spoke word from word after all.

Li Zeyan: ___.

MC: !

I immediately covered my face, detached from his arm, and retreated to the other side of the bed.

MC: I-I promise to stop talking! I’ll sleep now!

Li Zeyan: ……

However, even when the room was quiet again, my noisy heartbeat did not calm down. Is this the so-called “curse”? This curse is really powerful. No no, it’s the “unusual” Guardian saint that is the most powerful.

I sigh quietly. It seems that I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

The next day, I woke up amidst a strange noise. I opened the window and looked out at the situation on the street. After recalling the day, I remembered that the Qixi festival has arrived.

I turned my head and looked at the other side of the bed: it was empty.

I quickly cleaned myself up and opened the door. I saw Li Zeyan leaning against the door and looking in the direction of the main street.

MC: Good morning.... Li Zeyan.

Li Zeyan glanced at me, and nodded stiffly to communicate a response.

Li Zeyan: Why is it so noisy outside?

I looked at the hint of curiosity in his eyes and suggested with a smile.

MC: If you’re interested, do you wanna go out with me?

The Qixi Festival has always been the most lively summer festival. Stalls have been set up early on the main street to sell all kinds of novel and interesting gadgets. I chose a booth at random and took him over to see it.

MC: Look, it’s a black dragon puppet!

The puppet was dressed in a colorful cloak, and the dragon’s horns and tail were swollen with cotton. I snuck a look at Li Zeyan, and he immediately frowned in disgust.

Li Zeyan: Too exaggerated. There’s no need to look like that.

MC: But it looks so cute!

Li Zeyan: ...Do you like it?

I was thinking about how to respond to the Guardian saint’s question, when the stall owner leaned over with a smile.

Stall Owner: The girl has a good eye! I bought this black dragon puppet from a temple of incense. Buying it back will surely protect both of you. For today’s holiday, if you each buy one, the price is discounted! Son, what do you think?

Li Zeyan: I don’t need it.

I took a peek at him, smiled and put down the puppet, then raised my arm and shook it indifferently.

MC: I don’t need it either. 

I have been favoured by fate, so I can at least leave the puppets to others.

I don’t know if it’s my illusion, but Li Zeyan seemed to slow down and walk with me patiently. I guess he must have rarely had such a talkative moment during the long years he spent in the forest.

I secretly made up my mind to take him today to experience the “world fireworks”.

[it was never explicitly stated, but I’m guessing that this refers to the tradition of kongming lanterns mentioned soon.]

In the long main streets, through countless shops and stalls, we stop and try our best to spend this special day seriously. I imagined the Guardian saint who was aloof, but I was so entranced that I didn’t even dare blink my eyes, and together we studied the mysteries of the street performers

He still occasionally resents helplessness, but unexpectedly does not refuse assistance. Perhaps because of the smoke and fire, I almost forgot his original identity.

Time passed by, and the end of the main street was already in front of me. A small river transverses, and there are already many people piercing Kongming lanterns on both sides of the river

Li Zeyan: What’s the purpose of this?

MC: It’s a paper lantern to make wishes on. It rises into the sky after you light the inside of it. People write their wishes on the lamps, and the gods in sky will see it and may even help realise it. 

Li Zeyan: How can there be such a thing?

MC: Today is the Qixi Festival, you can’t say such things! If it’s heard by the seventh sister in the sky, it will be bad.

Li Zeyan: ...what wishes do you generally make?

MC: On the Qixi Festival, everyone will wish for a good hand or a good marriage.

Li Zeyan: what about you?

MC: I…

I looked at a few pairs of lovers not too far away, and silently lowered my head. If you desire too much, than what’s the difference between me and those who want to imprison the Guardian saint?

But, perceiving Li Zeyan’s gaze on me, I cheered up and decided to answer the question in another way.

MC: Right, tonight, I want to see the stars, so I’ll take you to a good place to see them!

The pavilion at the foot of the mountain is part of a summer resort that I accidentally discovered when I was young. Now that the area is kept dense, the water is as clear as a mirror. The mountain breeze in the evening is very cool, blowing away all the heat of the day.

Li Zeyan leaned in the pavilion, looking at the distance with a relaxed expression.

MC: Is the Guardian Saint satisfied with this place?

Li Zeyan: well, it’s not bad.

MC: No one else will come here, so you can relax.

Li Zeyan seemed to have seen through the words as I was expecting, and showed a pair of beautiful dragon horns and a tail.

MC: I wanted to say it the first time I saw you, but, you’re really good looking.

Li Zeyan: In your imagination, was I ugly?

MC: Um… I was only expecting you to be more fierce.

Li Zeyan: And i did not expect that the one to open the barrier would be a reckless “bandit”.

I turned my head angrily, but I saw the smile at the corner of his mouth at a glance, and the feeling of dissatisfaction disappeared immediately.

I handed Li Zeyan a small purse I'd been holding in my arms.

MC: Just in case, I decided to prepare you something.

Li Zeyan took it and opened it, holding up a small peach wood sword pendant.

MC: Even though it’s small, it has the same effect as the original sword!

Li Zeyan: ...Didn’t you burn the sword?

MC: I secretly broke off a piece of the hilt of the sword, I think my father would not mind. But, if you ever encounter the barrier in the future, you can walk out by yourself.

Li Zeyan: “Self?” Where are you going?

MC: You definitely don’t want to stay in this world, do you? I couldn’t even go to heaven with you.

Li Zeyan: You don’t have to go so far. The freedom I want has nothing to do with where I am.

MC: But, you said yesterday that you were ready to leave… Are you going to another town?

Li Zeyan looked at the pendant and pondered a moment before speaking.

Li Zeyan: The forest is very large… but it’s not as good as a small yard.

Li Zeyan: No matter whether it is man or a god, there are no taboos, but it depends on whether that restriction is actively being accepted by itself. The spell of that name is a lock, and only those who know it can open it.

Li Zeyan: Just now, I've put the lock and key into your hands. So, I must keep you by my side.

I stared at him with a serious look, and it took a long time to find my voice.

MC: My home is so small... You will either get hurt or you will not sleep well...

MC:  I can’t accompany you to heaven, but I can go with you anywhere else in the world. Because you know my name, I also want to keep you by my side.

He laughed at me, hooked his finger at me, and I leaned in faintly.

Li Zeyan: In this case, I’ll leave this on you.

With warm fingertips around my neck, he put the pendant on me. I stretched out my hand to caress the small pendant, and my heart was filled with wonder. I have no supernatural power, nor have I learned to kill demons and eliminate evil. Only this little peach wood sword and myself, who keeps the secret, will become his keys together.

I pulled out a comb from the side drawer and handed it to him.

MC: According to human rules, to make such an important agreement, you have to help me comb my hair.

Li Zeyan hesitated and took the comb suspiciously.

Li Zeyan: I have never brushed anyone’s hair before…

MC: You will live in this world in the future, so you can learn more.

Li Zeyan: Why are there so many rules?

MC: This is how humans are.

In order to reduce the difficulty, I took the initiative to lift up a strand of hair

MC: Comb this strand, and it will be done after three times.

Li Zeyan: Why?

I held back my smile and tried to find excuses for my careful thinking.

MC: Hmm… Because this way, the agreement will last longer.

A helpless sigh was heard from behind me, but he still continued. The movements were very slow and light, and he took care to not hurt me at all. Time seemed to stop in this moment, and at the same time, lovers of heaven and earth meet.

I leaned on his lap and peaked at the reflection in the water: he’s clearly smiling.

As the night darkened, a Kongming lantern suddenly floated in the distance. Orange lights gradually revealed themselves in the night sky, like stars symbolising wishes.

MC: What a nice view...

Li Zeyan retracted his eyes from the sky and looked at me.

Li Zeyan: I remember that you haven’t said your wish.

I stroked his hand holding the comb and combed the hair to the bottom with him.

“Three combs to the end, will tie two hearts together forever.”

The night breeze is cool, bringing the wishes of the world to the sky. And there is still a wish, turning into a quiet whisper before falling into someone’s ear. The person who receives this wish is my destination.

[mamahersh]

The Road to Hell (is Paved with Good Intentions) Chapter 7

“Season 8 was well underway, and the server’s first conflict is bubbling just under the surface. But BDoubleO can’t worry about that right now because he has an Etho to find so they can work on the Horse Course together. However when Xisuma calls a surprise server meeting on behalf of EvilXisuma, BDubs gets his answers about where Etho’s been in the worst way possible.”

(CW: angst, mild torture)

Chapter rating: T

Nice long conclusion chapter to make up for the short one yesterday! From BDubs view, plus nHo hurt/comfort (emphasis on comfort)!

As in all the previous chapter posts, if you’ve enjoyed the ride I took direct inspiration from this oneshot on AO3! Please give them some love and appreciation.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

It had taken days before Xisuma figured out what EX had done to the server that had caused the respawns to break in the way that it had, and how to fix it. However, figure it out and fix the problem he did, and with respawn mechanics back to normal, everyone who had died and respawned during the glitch was able to reset their health completely. And properly set their respawn points as well, since part of the glitch seemed to be that people’s respawns were being set as they were dying. But the biggest adjustment in the days after EX had caused havoc was trying to help Etho recover.

While Etho seemed relatively ok once he was able to talk again (his tongue and all his other lingering injuries were fully healed with the fixing of the respawn, though figuring out a way to get him to respawn was both more difficult and less difficult than BDubs had expected); BDubs was hearing from Iskall that all was still not right with the world. Normally, Hermits would let current season basemates/regional allies/faction mates do the heavy lifting of any emotional or mental stress that a particular Hermit experienced on the daily unless the Hermit asked for help from specific Hermits. But in this case, BDubs felt he should invite Etho to an nHo reunion/get-together. Even if Etho didn’t necessarily need the reunion, BDubs knew the rest of the nHo did. 

They had all been in various states of hysterics by the time they had gotten Etho out of the restraints and the death loop he had been locked in. BDubs had been the first person to breach the room, with Iskall and Beef right behind him. Beef had blocked up the water to stop the cycle as Iskall and a recently arrived Cleo began breaking restraints while BDubs clutched Etho’s freed hand (thinking back, he probably shouldn’t have. Etho’s hands had looked hardly better than the rest of his mangled flesh. He also wasn’t sure how they managed to get his wrists detached from the cuffs, as his arms and wrists were still solidly clipping into the restraints). Hypno had fiddled with the camera and looked over the speakers, before he managed to get everything deactivated and convinced the remaining Hermits to gather at Cleo and Joe’s base. By the time the Hermits were assembled at Joe and Cleo’s base, and Etho had been safely transported from the floating box, Doc was a hissing mess, Beef was greener than normal as his stress seemed to activate the alien transition, and BDubs had resorted to constantly checking his clock (a nervous habit he had picked up from 3rd Life, but the less he thought about that hell server the better). Etho had been quickly whisked away by Iskall to their shared base, but was just as quickly relocated to the Spawn Egg; as neither had wings, and Etho wasn’t nearly healthy enough to try and scale his own base in the sky. Plus, being at the Spawn Egg had the added benefit of easy access by the rest of the server so that other Hermits could stop by and check in on Etho’s progress while they all waited for Xisuma to fix the respawn mechanics. BDubs stopped by once while Etho was recovering. It was a little out of his way when trying to visit the Yes Wings Club, but figured he might as well since he hadn’t seen Etho since they had saved him 2 days before. 

Etho looked about what he had expected to be honest. Since they were worried about whether a normal respawn would register his tongue being gone as normal if they healed it properly with potions, the other Hermits had determined to wait on healing him till after he had properly respawned. That left him bedridden till the server was fixed though, which no one was happy with. BDubs was told later that supposedly Etho had understood during the few times he was lucid enough to listen to someone during that time. While he had been there though, Etho had been solidly asleep, Iskall asleep himself by Etho’s bedside. BDubs had taken a moment anyway to sit on Etho’s other side and just quietly talk to him about what he had been up to in the day or two since they had saved him. Iskall had come to briefly to see who had been talking, before settling back into his chair to rest.

BDubs had left pretty quickly, if he were being honest. Seeing Etho as vulnerable as he was left BDubs feeling a bit ill. After that, it had only been a day or two more of anxiously waiting for Xisuma to fix the server before they had been able to get the other Hermits respawned properly. (There had been several deaths during the time the respawns had been on the fritz, including a couple during the search from fall damage.) But when it came to Etho, they had tried to explain what needed to happen during one of the next times he was awake, but he had been becoming more unresponsive the longer he had been bedbound. So with heavy hearts, it had been decided that Etho needed to respawn as soon as they could decide a way to do so. After much debate between Iskall and Xisuma, it was decided that a quick anvil to the head would suffice.

It was told to BDubs later that Etho had respawned a few paces from the bed he had been sleeping in at Spawn looking incredibly confused and lost. It took close to a half hour to explain what had happened to him before him and Iskall went back to their shared base. And if Iskall was to be believed, it sounded like Etho hadn’t slept since the first night back. Which was almost a week ago. Not that many of the other Hermits were doing better. From the sounds of the grapevine, Mumbo still blamed himself for what had happened to Etho, and despite apologizing and promising Etho a cut of all his profits that season to make up for his decision (which he had been told Etho had forgiven Mumbo for and told Mumbo to keep the profits as he was just respecting Etho’s choice) he insisted on trying to find ways to make it up to an increasingly exasperated Etho. (Which BDubs noted was somewhat out of character, since Etho almost never missed a chance to keep someone in his debt and exploit them for his own projects). Other than Mumbo, Doc had been reported also to not have been sleeping as much, but instead he worked on his most recent engineering marvel. Beef had been throwing himself almost entirely into setting up his own shop outside the Derpcoin market to sell his own brand of non-evil cat food. BDubs knew that Beef was taking the whole: “Derpcoin is actually evil not even a meme” thing incredibly hard, since his whole thing this season had been going over to the dark-side as an alien (which BDubs still didn’t understand how that had started in the first place). BDubs himself was doing just fine thank you very much! Sure, he’d been struggling with sleeping at night himself (every time he closed his eyes he could see Etho strapped to that chair and drowning again), and yeah, he’d been trying to work on the shopping district by the mountain instead of the Horse Course (he had heard from Iskall that Etho had been working on something outside the base, and BDubs had a sneaking suspicion he knew at least one of the projects Etho’d been working on). But he definitely wasn’t nearly as bad as the other members of the old nHo. Definitely. He couldn’t lie to himself, they were all having a bad time. 

So, as BDubs was wont to do, he took things into his own hands and sent invitations to all the nHo members to come by his base for a get together. The date was set, and he visited every member in person leading up to the event to make sure they were coming, no excuses! (He knew it was particularly urgent as when he went to check on Etho, he finally found him sleeping in one of BDubs’ builds next to the horse course, and when he got Etho awake, he cracked exactly 0 height jokes until he tried to get Etho to come by later and it was a height joke every minute. The height jokes were BDubs’ way of figuring out how nicely Etho wanted to play. The less the better.)

But now the day had finally arrived, and BDubs welcomed each one of his friends into his base with open arms and a smile. First to arrive was Beef, seeing as he was closest. Then Doc. Then as BDubs was debating messaging Iskall to find Etho for him, the man himself showed up on BDubs’ doorstep. Everything went off without a hitch in the beginning. They all were able to reconnect and chat about bases and projects they were working on; Doc with his redstone magic he was getting from his friends on another server, Beef and his efforts to create a new kind of cat food, Etho and his many projects ranging from an inventory sorter to the horse course, and BDubs with his latest shop attempts in the Big Eye Crew shopping district. (It was good to see Etho making fun of BDubs’ attempts at making a redstone shop. Etho hadn’t heard of it yet, and it was a delight to see him light up while joking about what BDubs could possibly make with redstone that even someone like Grian couldn’t do themselves.)

It all comes crashing down when Etho asks Beef more about the cat food. Specifically what was wrong with the old cat food. 

Now Beef hadn’t expressly said that he had been working with EX for having a cat food stand at the Evil Emporium; but he had implied that his previous cat food flavor would be going on the back burner. What they all had assumed was that Etho at least generally knew most of the gossip on the server. But what BDubs should have guessed was that Etho had been very absent this season, and unless the current events were directly affecting his plans, he had never been one for being up to date on server events. So BDubs should have guessed that Etho asking about cat food would only end in a bittersweet ending.

“So Beefers, you said something about your cat food getting a new recipe… What happened with the old recipe? Not up to snuff?”

“I will have you know that all my cat food is premium and delicious, and I will not have you slandering it in this way,” replied an overdramatic Beef. 

The nHo chuckled at his antics before Etho came back with, “Well if it wasn’t the quality then what was it? Now you have me intrigued.”

Beef shrugged. “I just wanted a cat food to really call my own is all.”

Etho gave him a look. “Wouldn’t the other cat food be yours too?”

“Well…” Beef looked deeply conflicted. BDubs decided to say it for him. “He was working for the Evil Emporium since he started to change into… I guess it’s an alien?”

Etho stilled at the name, and the rest of the group held their breaths. “Ah,” he replied, suddenly tight as a bowstring.

“Which is why I’m making a new brand of cat food, one which I’ll be selling from a shop near my base for diamonds,” soothed Beef, trying his best to keep Etho away from bad memories.

“I can see why you changed brands then,” replied Etho through a forced calm. He was not subtle in the least however. Bdubs wondered if the hurt in Etho's eyes was from the idea that his closest friend had supported the monster that had hurt him, or the idea that his friend would completely change his plans for the season due to one off script incident? Bdubs had a feeling it was definitely the former.

(BDubs had asked Xisuma after all was said and done if he remembered anything leading up to them being in front of the screen at his base. X had said the last thing he had remembered before that was meeting up with EvilX to discuss business strategies before blacking out after their customary greetings. He explained it had happened before, but he had somehow never thought much of the memory gaps. However, he agreed with the rest of the Hermits that had talked with him about it that it was a problem that would need to be investigated because it sounded like mind control. And a player that could control the server admin was a force too powerful to allow free. Or at the very least, a player that needed to have some very hard limits as to what they could do placed upon them.)

“You know, Etho, have you been ok?” asked Doc hesitantly. BDubs hoped that Doc knew what he was doing, because Bdubs was definitely lost.

Etho looked a bit like a cornered animal at the moment as he looked between the 3 of them like they had betrayed him. “Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?”

Doc gave him a look that BDubs thought was completely justified. “Etho, you went through an incredibly traumatic experience only a week or so ago. It is completely fine if you aren't doing ok.”

Etho sighed. “And what would you even do if I wasn't ok?”

Doc gave a hissy whine and moved from where he had been situated to sit close beside Etho. “Well, we'd figure out what we can do to make it a little closer to being ok.” He looked down at his lap. “I know I've been struggling with sleep recently, so I understand at least if you aren't sleeping either.” Etho looked vaguely stricken.

“You were part of the group that was watching, weren't you?” BDubs watched as Etho began to close off. Doc just nodded miserably. “And the two of you?”

BDubs felt gutted, knowing that Etho either didn't remember him breaking in to save him and holding his hand; or was purposefully ignoring the memory. “I stopped you from drowning more by blocking up the source block...” muttered Beef, looking pretty hurt himself.

“I found your enclosure and got the search party together to come finish breaking you out; and was there next to Beef when he was saving you,” finished Bdubs, a bit more of the hurt shining through because he couldn't hold a poker face even if his life depended on it. But also, Etho needed to see that he wasn't alone, in a lot of ways.

Etho looked appropriately chastised, if also incredibly grateful. “Thank you, all of you.” He leaned lightly into Doc's shoulder; the most affection he would normally show to anyone. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you 3, so thank you. Thank you so much.” They all politely ignored the sniffling coming from behind the mask, though Beef situated himself on Etho’s other side, and BDubs decided to try and strategically place himself on the floor in front of Beef so that if Etho wanted to lean a leg against him, he could. BDubs was so tempted to drape himself over Etho’s legs, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Etho probably wouldn’t handle being immobile in a sitting position well for the foreseeable future. However he was vindicated when his hair was playfully ruffled by an Etho hand as the 4 of them devolved into just sitting with each other. 

BDubs should have guessed that Etho wouldn’t stay down long however, as Etho (after inconspicuously wiping the corners of his eyes dry) said, “so, who wants to help me prank the Boatem Crew?” BDubs could feel the devious smile creeping across his face.

“Now you’re speaking my language Canada boy!” Etho wheezed a quiet laugh above him. 

“You sure you want to be slinging that kind of slander at me short stuff?”

“SHORT STUFF?!?!” BDubs got up in a huff. “I’LL SHOW YOU SHORT STUFF, YOU DAMN BEAN POLE!” Beef, Etho, and Doc all burst into chuckles, leaning into the couch as they tried to get themselves under control. “YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, DO YOU? Ooooooh, you are all playing a dangerous game!”

Etho and Doc proceeded to laugh harder, leaning against each other. “What are you going to do BDubs, bite our ankles?” asked Beef before breaking down laughing again. 

“I’LL BITE YOUR ANKLES JUST WATCH ME!” and with that, BDubs was all over Beef, trying to get a solid shoulder punch in, but being thwarted at every turn. A stray punch at Doc, and suddenly everyone but Etho was rolling around the floor trying to playfully murder each other. Etho wheezed in laughter at their antics, and expertly avoided getting added into their mischief by eventually hopping up a ladder to the next floor and watching from the opening.

Eventually they managed to settle down, and by the time they had gathered themselves enough, it was night time. BDubs, with a lighter heart than when he had let in all his friends earlier in the day, said goodbye to them with promises that if Etho really was serious about pranking the Boatem Crew, the nHo would be right by his side. They left one by one, first Doc (who complained that he was already behind schedule on his build), then Beef (who playfully recommended Etho come help him run his shop if he wasn’t too busy helping Iskall dye prismarine), and lastly Etho. But before Etho departed, he said, “you know, I already thanked you, but I feel I should do it again.” He met BDubs’ gaze. “Thank you so much for finding me. I don’t know how that would have ended if you hadn’t caught sight of that place”. 

BDubs was humbled by Etho’s gratitude, though he still replied with, “You’re my friend Etho, of course I would give it my all to find you. I’m just happy we were able to do so before it was too late. And if you ever need to get away from it all, it’s pretty nice out here once you get past all the big eyes.”

Etho wheezed a chuckle in response, a hidden smile brightening up the corners of his eyes. “Sure, I’ll keep that in mind. You take care of yourself now, you hear? I don’t want to be hearing of too many shenanigans from you, ok?”

BDubs laughed in response, and nodded. “Can do! And you do the same, ok?” He let the humor drain a bit, a more serious tone shining through. “If things get bad, please let someone know. Doc knows what happened, and he would be able to tell you who else was there that you could talk to if you needed it.”

Etho nodded. “Yeah, yeah. If it gets bad I always have Iskall and you guys.” Etho glanced at a clock in his inventory. “Looks like I should be off. If I start now, I should be able to get back before sunrise.” Etho waved goodbye as he turned to go.

“Stay safe! I’ll see you around then,” called out BDubs as he watched Etho quickly jog to the nearest source of water. Then, once acquired, he flew with the flick of his trident, starting his way back to the nether portal so as to make it back to his base safely.

BDubs went to bed that night content knowing that if Etho ever needed the help, he knew who he could reach out to.

-fin-

[bloodied-teardrops]

Your request in my inbox probably hasn't been deleted, but I just have mostly yandere Zhongli plots in my brain right now. Whoops.

It’s long.

Wedding Boutique Worker who gets Zhongli's attention for being the unfortunate one modeling a traditional Liyue wedding ensemble mock up. He got reminded of his time with Guizhong due to the fashion. Yeah. Because who knows if Mihoyo will give us more Guizhong lore and this makes it easier for me.

Funeral Urn Maker (probably really just a regular potter) whose work Zhongli is quite fond of and well, sure people die, but it's such a standard interaction. He's almost not needed by the funeral parlor to select and/or discuss the details of the urn. Zhongli would like them to prosper, but aside from directing more buyers to their ceramics, there's not much he can do. And he doesn't want to be just a customer. It just so happens, Liyue has some people it would be better off without. In high places which means custom orders. That he can be involved in. Liyue is better without morally bankrupt people in power, they get more work thus more profit, and he gets to talk with them more! Everyone wins!

Genshin impact world hasn't progressed that much in terms of technology thanks to having magic and we know that archons can't be healed conventionally thanks to Venti. Zhongli's old battle wounds starting to act up when he loses his gnosis since that's pretty important. So he finds himself frequently a less prominent pharmacy in Liyue due to having to be conscious about money and well, the pharmacist is just so incredibly gentle and thoughtful, asking how he's doing the occasional times he passes them on the streets and always being willing to set up a payment plan instead for when he finds himself short of mora. Where this is going? Who knows, but I like the set up.

Zhongli kills or bankrupts his darling's partners. Leaving people to see them as bad luck which isolates them from everyone. And well, for the ones that died, he gets to talk with them for a bit. Console them. He's a bit strange, but it's comforting to have such a reliable presence who doesn't listen to the rumors going around. This backfires on him since it makes them so reluctant to get involved with anyone else.

"As agreed upon in our contract, you will be my companion until the end." Or something like that. Forced into being an adeptus by Zhongli way back before he met Guizhong due to being the payment for a contract or something similar. Unlike the other adepti, maybe a heal/defense focus instead of actual fighting. Probably figured they would die in the Archon War, and agreed to at least help people stay alive during it. So the romance comes later and they are very creeped out by it due to knowing exactly what Zhongli is capable of and struggling to reconcile who they know he is with what he is trying to do. Following human courtship which changes with time too. Since Venti wasn't human originally, I like the idea of the dragon being Zhongli's original form since he's not very good at being human. So probably not originally human and trying to figure out how to do things the human way. Guizhong tried to help him but then she died so he observes actual human couples. Basically, origjnally a dragon Zhongli trying to figure out this whole courting a human business to court one of his adepti. Except he's kind of starting to get impatient and tempted to use force...

Turned his partner into a zombie like Qiqi for control over them. Not sure how much independence a regular zombie has within their orders, but let's say they keep enough independence to think. They have to go from Point A to Point B but how they do it will vary unless given specific instructions. Bad memory is probably part of it too so they also have to rely on Zhongli since they can't remember a lot either. Keep Zhongli happy to keep the little freedom they still have. Also, based on Qiqi's voiced lines, they will have a preference for staying in cool areas. Liyue seems pretty warm for the most part which means they're probably stuck indoors.

And the marriage of convenience idea I've been working on with Zhongli convincing them into act as his wife to help him better blend in with people. The 'marriage' as you may have seen, is falling apart due to the power imbalance that comes from Zhongli having the power in the contract. They aren't comfortable being assertive about what they want because part of the contract was serving Morax. They see the marriage as another service that they can't refuse. Eventually during the events of the story quest, while Zhongli is making Traveler run around for him, they pack up and leave because the terms of the contract don't apply anymore and they just want to get away. Not far enough to miss the Osial situation and they return to help with that before heading out again. Zhongli may or may not catch them before they leave. Idk. I kind of want to make him suffer. It'll probably end with them eventually meeting and they try to meet each other as equals this time. Might turn yandere if Zhongli gets angry about their 'escape' and decides to bring them back with force. Who knows where this is going

I just wanna play with Zhongli's different morals. He's old and not human so logically, his morals are a little skewed at least compared to human ones.

Fun times!

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp This Is...Holiday Fic, Version 3.0

Hello, internet! It is December, and that means it is also time to regain our festive feelings through holiday-type fic. Of which I have written just...an absurd amount of. So, before we start slamming on some more keys with inevitable cliches and kissing (and the list of prompts I’m going to post later and maybe start writing tomorrow) here is a wholly self-indulgent, self-promotional list of the copious number of holiday stories I’ve written. Under the cut, because honestly it’s ridiculous. 

Multi Chapters

To Make the Season Bright Rating: M Words: 49,683 Chapters: 5

It's just one weekend. At Christmas. In New York. With everyone there. With Killian there. It's fine. Emma doesn't mind – he's always there and she wants him to be there and it'll be good. Great, even. Festive. She's looking forward to it. She just hopes she doesn't do something stupid. Like shout feelings in his face. That probably wouldn't be very festive.

The Gift Receipt Rating: M Words: 46,244 Chapters: 5

It genuinely makes sense in her head. After all, Mary Margaret is being Mary Margaret and Emma just needs five seconds to herself and for her friends to get off her back and saying she can’t talk to Killian Jones because she and Killian Jones once went on a very bad date is the perfect excuse. It’s also not true, but whatever. It works. Until Emma needs to bring someone home for Christmas. To get the entire town off her back. So, she comes up with another plan and another lie and pretending to get back together with a guy she was never actually with will make their inevitable break-up incredibly easy. It makes sense. Seriously. That is, of course, until Killian agrees and there’s far too much pie and radio hits of the 70s and opinions on animated Christmas classics. It gets a little more complicated after that.

Older Now, But Not Done Hoping Rating: T Words: 25,577 Chapters: 3

Killian Jones has lost his festive spirit. It's been forcibly removed by corporate America and private developers and how much alcohol the customers at his bar drink every night. Although, he supposes, that means he's making a profit, but that also feels a little Scrooge-esque and he doesn't have time for visits from ghosts. Because he's suddenly got a whole schedule in front of him, written out and planned by his roommate. To reclaim their mutual and collective festivity. Together. Oh, and he's in love with her. At Christmas. And all the time, really. This is going to be great.

It’s the Thought That Counts Rating: M Words: 27, 178 Chapters: 3

It was, in theory, a good idea. It was, in theory, an absolutely fantastic idea. Because there was still, sometimes, a crisis or two in Storybrooke and nothing would be more chaotic than trying to find a Christmas present on Main Street, while also trying to keep said Christmas present a secret. Ordering gifts on the internet makes sense. It's just a few clicks and online sales and the presents will be there in plenty of time for Christmas to be perfect. Emma and Killian are positive. Except then the presents don't show up and it's Christmas Eve and plan B isn't so much a plan as it is just a bit of pre-holiday desperation and the entire town knows what they're up to.

One Shots

The Best Laid Plains Rating: T Words: 4,040

Emma knows what she wants. And she remembers what the qualifications are. She just needs some help with them. Or: She and Killian once decided they'd only get married if one of them came out with an outlandish proposal.

Following the Recipe Rating: T Words: 3,802

Emma can't bake cookies. That doesn't stop her from engaging in cookie-baking competitions. At Christmas. And Killian is more than happy to help.

Grounded Rating: T Words: 6,064

Being stuck at the airport is the worst at normal times. At Christmas, it's at least ten-thousand times worse. Unless you manage to make friends with the vaguely attractive, frustratingly charming guy sitting next to you in the terminal.

Carol of the [Wedding] Bells Rating: T Words: 7,926

Going to Vegas with your friends for Christmas? Totally normal. Getting married to one of your friends while in Vegas at Christmas? Might take a bit more explaining. Especially when neither one of you can remember it.

More Than You Could Ever Know Rating: T Words: 5,040

It’s the perfect plan. So, she told the new guy at work that she was already married and couldn’t date him. Fine, no big deal. Emma has someone more than wiling to pretend to be her husband and a friend more than willing to do her pre-party hair. She’s certain everything will work out. The very last thing she expects is for Killian to be jealous. Because she might have picked the wrong Jones brother to play doting husband.

Once Again As in Olden Days Rating: T Words: 6,462

She’s absolutely freezing cold. It’s a dumb metaphor, one that only serves to make Emma even more pissed off than she already is. Because two hours ago it was summer. But a few more hours before that, she was also locked in a tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon. And now she’s outside. With her kid. And a pirate that isn’t hers, explicitly, but keeps staring at her like he wouldn’t mind if he was. So maybe it’s not the worst. Maybe she’ll be able to get warm eventually.

Want Something That Will Last Forever Rating: T Words: 5,093

The weight in his jacket pocket is getting heavier. Burning a hole. A metaphorical one. Because a literal one would probably freak David out and David is already worried enough and Killian is a very good friend. Who is willing to help David plan his proposal to Mary Margaret. Even if it messes everything else up in the process.

A Fair, Even-Handed, Noble Adjustment of Things Rating: T Words: 9,267

Emma just wants to do something good. Give back. Maybe get a few bonus points. Metaphorically speaking. Not the last one. That defeats the purpose of all of this. But she can’t really think straight because he keeps humming and using nicknames and stealing all the flour. And she’d give up all the bonus points she’s, maybe, accumulated by, possibly, doing good if she could just remember what his name is. This is not going the way she planned. At all.

Heart to Heart and Hand in Hand Rating: T Words: 7,052

She was cold. She was tired. She did not want to be ice skating. She wasn’t really ice skating. She was just…kind of standing there – while getting yelled at by security guards and stared at by her boyfriend and they were being pushed off the ice. Not literally. And Emma knew she was being a Grinch or, maybe, just Max the Dog because she wasn’t in control enough to be a Grinch, but Killian wanted to go ice skating and well…fake it ‘til you make it festivity, right?

Kiss Her Once [For Me] Rating: T Words: 9,500

To say that the last year has been hectic would be the greatest understatement in the history of the modern world. Or, like, libel. In print, it’s libel. Because the last year has been filled with political promises and campaigns and far more press conferences than Emma realized were possible. And now, with Washington D.C. ahead of them, the only thing Emma really wants is to figure out how many boxes she’ll need to move all her stuff. That is, of course, until Killian finds her sitting in the middle of Regina’s hallway, a distinct lack of alcohol in her system, and the guarantee that he’s got a plan. For fun. Of the festive variety. It includes mistletoe.

Prompt: Santa!Con Rating: T Words: 2,444

Killian is very drunk. There are people dressed like Santa everywhere. And Emma isn't sure she heard the question correctly. She might be a little drunk too, honestly.

Prompt: Killian Wakes Up Without Any Blankets Rating: T Words: 2,444

He's freezing. Presumably because his wife — who he loves very much — has once again stolen all the blankets.

Tripping Over the Blue Line

A Few Days Off for Christmas Rating: T Words: 11,903

Matt's first Christmas at the brownstone means several things. Chinese food. Bad bread pudding. And unexpected guests.

A Chance of Snow Showers Rating: T Words: 3,372

Everything's a competition on this team. So no one is all that surprised when Killian agrees to race during family skate. Even with a baby strapped to his chest.

Dropping Gloves...In the Name of Festive Fashion Rating: T Words: 3,038

It’s probably one of the more ridiculous things any of them have ever done. It’s also one of the better ideas any of them has ever had – it’s festive and in the spirit and the fans will love it. And maybe it’s kind of fun because it ends with another win and some positive press before the break and Phillip’s jacket is really just…a work of fashion art.

All Knotted Up Rating: T Words: 2,188

He’s never actually done anything like this – brought a girl home for Christmas. No, not just a girl – Emma. Emma was coming to the brownstone for Christmas and the entire Vankald family would be there with traditions and bread pudding and there had to be gifts.

He needed to buy a gift. Or, at least, get a gift. And the list of people who wouldn’t laugh right in his face at the idea of Killian Jones, captain of the New York Rangers, freaking out about that was growing more and more slim by the minute.

We’ll Take a Cup [Defense] Of Kindness Rating: M Words: 19,204 Chapters: 2

It's one night. New Year's Eve. And a whole list of rules. Because Regina might have actually lost her mind. Or maybe that's just Emma. Because they've played a million games in two days, or it's at least felt that way, and planning an outdoor practice a few weeks before the Olympics seemed like a good idea at one point. Now it just seems insane. So she's going to wear this dress and kiss her boyfriend. A lot. He's good. Better than good. Great. The greatest. It's New Year's Day and, yeah, sure it's freezing, but Killian hasn't actually tried to push Scarlet on the Subway tracks yet so that seems like a step in the right direction. So he's a little distracted a few weeks before the Olympics, but that's fine. It's good. Or it'll be good. Eventually. Soon. In the meantime he's probably just going to kiss his girlfriend. A lot.

First Line Center Rating: T Words: 9,508 Chapters: 2

She hadn’t read the invitation. It hadn’t changed in years, after all - a set of rules and expectations for a New Year’s party that they were all going to break anyway because the most traditional thing about this team was flouting tradition. So, Emma had mostly ignored it. Until. A shout and Killian refusing to wear a tie and something crashing in her kitchen, one kid worried about another and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing something. There was a joke about fresh ice to be made, she was sure.

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 45-50

This is the “Soldier of Fortune” arc.  I thought there was a song by this title and there is!    Give it a listen.

This opens with a flashback to Pip Bernadotte’s childhood, where he finds out his whole family is a bunch of mercenaries.    His grandfather confirms it, and I should point out that Grandpa Bernadotte is the most mercenary-looking dude I’ve ever seen.   He’s wearing a friggin’ beret while he tells Pip about how his dad died in some war to raise money while Ma Bernadotte was pregnant with Pip.   Was Pip’s mother a merc too? 

I guess my point is that this whole scene feels really stupid to me.   Kid Pip grew up among mercenaries, but he’s literally the last person in town to find out about it.  How do the kids at school know?   Are the Bernadottes that well-known?   I always assumed mercenaries tried to keep a low profile.   Then again, they are entrepreneurs, so maybe the kids in school found ads about the Bernadottes in the phone book.  

Even so, was Pip’s family trying to keep this a secret from him?  Because Grandpa sure wasn’t.   Not with that beret he’s got on.   It’s like he’s been waiting Pip’s whole life to tell him, so why didn’t he mention it before?  You’d think he’d want to raise the boy to follow in his footsteps, the same as Pip’s dad.  Did Pip’s mom not want him to grow up to be a mercenary?  It just seems like she should have known that wouldn’t work out.  

Anyway, Grandpa Bernadotte waxes philosophical about killing people for money, which doesn’t seem like much of a justification.   Pip was very upset about the whole thing, and I don’t think Grandpa said anything to make him less upset, and then we flash forward to the present day, where Pip’s a mercenary.

I mean, what was the point of that flashback?  Pip was horrified to find out his family kills for profit, and then at some point he got over it and joined the family business.   Why didn’t the flashback show us that moment instead?  It seems more relevant.  

At any rate, I feel like the flashback is overlooking the true point of Pip’s character arc.  He starts out a soldier of fortune like his father and grandfather, but by joining up with Hellsing he’s now fighting for a much nobler cause, ridding the world of unspeakably evil monsters.  He still seems to look at it like just another job, but it’s still important.  His defense of the Hellsing mansion is a lot more heroic because he’s fighting against daunting odds with very little hope of surviving to see another sunrise, let alone his next paycheck.  

Back to the main story, when Millennium’s forces invaded London, they sent a company to the Hellsing HQ on the outskirts of the city.   Zorin Blitz was tasked with leading this group, but she was ordered to hold off on attacking until the Major gave the word.   The Major then fired rockets at the mansion, only for Seras Victoria to shoot the rockets down... and Zorin’s zeppelin.   Now, Zorin is trying to lead a ground attack on the mansion, except Pip has turned the entire yard into a minefield.   

Seras disapproves, but Pip doesn’t care.   In this sort of conflict, he and his men, the Wild Geese, are at a complete disadvantage.   Vampires, even the weaker, artificial vampires of Millennium, are faster, stronger, and harder to kill.  He hints at some sort of vampiric ability to read an opponent’s movements, too, which might have something to do with that whole “third eye” trick Seras and Alucard use.   Against all of that, landmines are a sensible precaution, since they’re powerful enough to kill a vampire in one shot and don’t rely on a human operator with killing intent. Seras can gripe, but if Hellsing had used mines back in volume 2, the Valentine Brothers never would have made it inside.  Pip clearly read up on that debacle, since it must have taken weeks for his men to bury all these mines.

The landmines do kill a lot of Zorin’s troops, and the Wild Geese lay down heavy fire from the mansion to keep up the pressure, but Zorin won’t give up so easily.   She uses he powers to create some sort of zany illusion, where everyone sees a giant Zorin Blitz attacking the mansion.

So what the hell is Zorin Blitz, exactly?   I thought she was a vampire, but reading this manga has revealed that Rip Van WInkle is a werewolf, which led me to suspect Zorin is a werewolf too.   But the manga is silent on Zorin being one or the other.  I check the Hellsing Wiki, but it contends that both women are vampires, and the term “Werewolf” just refers to the group of officers in Millennium.   This group includes literal werewolves like the Captain and Schrodinger, but not Blitz and Rip.   

Maybe it doesn’t matter that much, but I find it a little silly to call all four of those characters “Werewolves” and then only two of them are really werewolves.   Clearly, all four of them are a cut above the Major’s other troops, and none of them show any interest in drinking blood, or any other vampire-exclusive traits.   On the other hand, this whole battle takes place under a full moon, and none of them seem to be affected by it.    Unless the Major chose this particular night to launch his offensive because he wanted them all to be at full power.   Maybe Zorin couldn’t do this illusion thing otherwise.

Anyway, the Wild Geese see this giant woman slashing at them with a scythe, and they all panic.   Seras sees it too, but she somehow intuits that it can’t be real.   Then she sees Alucard, who reminds her of her third eye.   I’m not sure if this is a flashback or Alucard is using telepathy to coach her from the deck of the H.M.S. Eagle.  

Either way, Seras uses her third eye and not only sees through the illusion but lines up a shot on the illusion-caster.  But it only grazes Zorin.   It disrupts the illusion, but it doesn’t end the threat.

And even though the illusion is shattered, it still distracted the Wild Geese long enough for Millennium troops to enter the mansion.   Seras manages to shoot them down, but there’s more where that came from.

Because the Nazi bastards figured out a way past the mines.   They just threw a bunch of knives on the ground and played hopscotch to get across.   I guess this means they can only get in one at a time, but it’s still bad news for the good guys.

So Pip adjusts his tactics accordingly.  He and his men will regroup and hold up in a defensible location, while Seras roams the building to take the fight to the enemy.   I guess the idea is to divide Millennium’s focus.   They can attack the Geese or watch out for Seras, but not both.   For some reason, Seras calls Pip “sir”, like he’s in charge, and maybe that is appropriate in this situation, but I thought Seras was in charge of their training.  

Then one of the Geese pats her on the butt and Pip steals a kiss.   I’m not sure what the hell this is about.   I guess they were trying to lighten the mood before they go to face certain death, but if my life depended on some vampire girl killing all the bad guys before they can rip me to shreds, I probably wouldn’t sexually harass her, or do anything else to tick her off.   But that’s just me.

Pip seems resigned about their chances.  He’s confident in Seras’ ability, but there’s only one of her and like... 30?  Let’s say 30, thirty Nazi Vampires heading their way.  If even one of them gets past Seras, the Geese will all die horribly.   But they took this job and the risks that come with it, and besides, there’s nowhere for them to run anyway.    He seems to accept the situation with a mercenary sense of honor.   Like, a mercenary should expect to die in some unwinnable battle, and they shouldn’t complain about it, since it’s the nature of the business. 

Anyway, it doesn’t go well.   The nature of the comic doesn’t really make it clear how the Wild Geese are operating, but I get the impression that they’re doing sort of a fighting withdrawal concentrating their forces as they give ground.    But they suffer a lot of casualties in the process.

This leads to the Geese holing up in the big conference room where Integra met with the Royal Order of Protestant Knights before the Valentine Bros. attack.   One guy panics and wants to bug out, but Pip reminds him of what I said a minute ago.   They’ve got nowhere else to go, and they all got into this for the action, so they should stick to their principles, even in the face of death.

There’s this one guy from “B-block”, who I guess was covering a certain hallway, but B-Block got cut off before they could join the others in the Round Table room.    Zorin Blitz decides to have some fun with him, so she uses her weird powers to make him see himself back home, with his dead daughter.  

This seems especially cruel, because it’s not like Zorin needed this diversion to kill one dude.   She’s just really sadistic.

Meanwhile, some other Millennium guys are eating the Wild Geese they already killed, and one of them shows off his ability to tell blood types just by taste.   It’s this really sick moment, but at the same time it humanizes the characters, which is a weird thing to say when discussing Nazi vampires, but you know what I mean.

Then Seras blows the dude’s head off, which is extremely satisfying.

So Seras is holding up her end, and growing more resolute with each kill.   She’s really improved a lot since the last time she was in action.    Yeah, these Millennium vampires probably aren’t that much tougher than the vampires she killed back in the summer, but there are a lot more of them, and they’re trained soldiers on top of that, and she doesn’t have Alucard backing her up like she did before.

By now, all that’s left of the Wild Geese are in this barricaded room, and they’ve run low on silver bullets, which means even the few shots that don’t miss will have almost no effect.   Pip is determined to hold out, confident that Seras will save them, but...

She runs out of bullets before she runs out of enemies to kill.   When she arrives to save the day, she’s still has to go through Zorin Blitz.

But Zorin doesn’t see this as a problem, and she uses her freaky mind powers on Seras, forcing her to relive memories of her days at the orphanage.    Yeah, Seras was an orphan, remember?   Alucard asked Walter about her parents a while back, and Walter said they were both dead.  How did they die?

Well, Zorin Blitz is about to find out...

[cloveroctobers]

ELLADINE SARABI

IG info/bio: @/ellasardineabi | 18.5k followers | Artist | i was born with glass bones and paper skin♡

25 years old

Born & raised in Cardiff, Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Father was in the n*vy and moved his family around a few times until he and his wife came to a agreement that it would be best for the family to grow up in one solid place

whereas he would leave for months at a time living elsewhere

Which was hard on the family at times since he is viewed as the rock of the family

He eventually left the n*vy after serving 20 years & was so thankful to, he hated it and how it messed with him mentally

He’s also of Iranian heritage

Her mother is of German heritage

Has her own restaurant that serves authentic German food

Both of her parents instilled hard work, discipline, generosity, and how to be practical in their children

Elladine is the middle child

Has a brother that is ten years older than her and then a younger sister who is seven years behind her

Canon: there is currently a discussion going on if they are going to bring their (maternal) nan/mam-gu home since the nursing home isn’t providing the proper care their nan needs

Her mother has a rocky relationship with her mother that she doesn’t like to discuss with her children but her husband knows all about it

Her nan has Alzheimer's and is becoming violent

it has become difficult seeing her most days

Elladine came into glassblowing after being involved in many classes in secondary such as workshop class

which became her fav since she was able to manipulate many materials such as metal, wood, and glass

She also took a auto body class which was interesting but she wasn’t too thrilled about it. Got away with a B- but knew she could do better if she really wanted to but she didn’t need the class to graduate so allow it

Currently works in a glass studio where her work is displayed/sold and she’s one of the main ones that makes great profit

has bought her own space for her own studio and is slowly making it to her liking with her assistant, yes she’s got one!

Hopes to be in that space within the next 6 months...it would have been a little sooner if we weren’t dealing with a global p*ndemic!!! but ya know life f*cking sucks sometimes!!!1!!:) especially if people don’t gaf

Moved back in with her parents so that she could not only help with her nan but get her studio ready, her parents approved since she was working towards something and realized her talent

I definitely see elladine going through a grunge phase and it probably still slips out every now and then lol

Her childhood room is still in shades of raspberry, gray, and a deep purple

always been plus-sized/fuller than the rest but it’s literally hereditary since her mom is built the same way who got it from her dad

Her family never made her feel ashamed as they shouldn’t and none of her true friends made her feel different since they were all of different sizes!!! besides who’s really friends with someone because of their bodies? Ur really ugly if that’s how u roll js

Always a respectful student and not too afraid to spark up a convo with you but can be a little nervous if the person is more of a “I have to warm up to you first” since she’ll feel like she’s annoying you if she carries the convo at first

Takes her time in relationships because she’s scared of getting hurt, cause breakups are not fun! Especially if theyre your friend on top of that

Although Friendship breakups are much worse let’s be honest here!!!

Has noticed that a few of her exes like to bring up that she’s controlling or too bossy in relationships and that makes her a little insecure since she doesn’t view it that way??

She knows what she wants and likes things a certain way, and she can see how it can kinda come off that way based on how she approaches/says things and tries to be better at toning it down and not being offensive to her significant others

Always has a plan and likes to follow it, she definitely keeps to-do lists on a daily

Takes trips to see Nicky often and vice-versa, every moment they spend together feels like it’s meant to be, even when it’s them just simply chilling in each other’s spaces, he’s truly one of her best friends and he feels like the missing part of her life

He offered for her to move in with him but elladine didn’t accept it since she wanted to be there to help with her nan and in fact—she wanted to be the one to ask HIM to move in with her

but if they make it long enough, they’ll go house hunting together...maybe

I get Shawn/Angela relationship vibes from them (boy meets world for those who aren’t aware of this couple and I’m not just saying this because they’re interracial as well lol) did I say this already about someone else? Brain fart lol

everyone relationship has their flaws so when they hit a bump in the road...elladine immediately wants to fix it but it comes off as more critiquing, moodiness/blaming the other

while Nicky can be defensive/argumentive/a little condescending on his end

To get through it, they normally go on a walk together in complete silence until they’re ready to speak again or they take a break from each other

I think words of affirmation is her love language

Taurus sun + Virgo moon + Capricorn rising?

“The girl on the motorcycle” is one of her fav films — no this is not metaphoric to her love life

Loves watching things with captions on since she always finds herself doing something else while watching anything (which irks Nicky a little bit but that’s just the way elladine is and he loves her so he deals with it)

Will rewind something if she missed it too

Canon: never had morning sex before

but can now say she has ;) & understands the pros people say about it and it outweighs the cons in her book

Will start the whole song over too if she missed her fav part in it

She also enjoys billiards since her brother used to work in a pool hall and when he had to watch her because she was “too young” in her words to stay home by herself he would take her there even tho technically she wasn’t supposed to be there but he was screwing his boss’s daughter so it was quite fine

her sister has a crush on Gary & ships elladine with him, which they joke about every now and then + he doesn’t follow her back, which is okay! Not a big deal but her sister keeps sliding in his dms (he’s now single)

She NEVER thought she would be on THE love island and wasn’t that confident that she’d find a real love that carried on outside of the show but Nicky has proven her wrong 🥲

She’s 5’5–5’6

Probably shops at Zara & top shop and has no issue picking pieces that flatter her “pear” figure, she loves all that is of her body: the pudge, love handles, cellulite and all (she’s very confident and won’t let anyone see her moments of doubt when it comes to her frame)

Loves mythology but will tell bill stfu if he comes near her trying to argue about anything in that subject

Very competitive and will rush through certain things, leaving one to think that she’ll fail somewhere but rarely does

If she’s not near or away from the mountains or the sea for long period of time she gets very moody!!! Guess that’s the Welsh in her huh?

Loves fireplaces, they’re super cozy and very romantic if you catch ella’s drift 😏

Probably smells like jasmine & pink pepper idk

Wants to travel to Iceland one day

Knows her way around a car but dreads having to get it fixed or fixing it herself?

Loves driving until her road rage kicks in? Oh you’re gonna go around her to get in front of her? Never that. She’ll always be in front of you and will break check you if you try her “Drewgi” she mutters

Early riser and goes to bed early too lol

She’s the crying drunk lmao

Automatically vieve has become one of her best friends from the villa but it deff didn’t feel forced like it normally would have just because their bfs have a podcast together, they talk about everything together. EVERYTHING! It feels like she’s the big sister she never had, yet they’re only a year apart lol

They have ft sleepovers and man is it fun!

Forgave lily but at the same time can’t fully see herself being friends with her like vieve tried to encourage before they went on the yacht...sorry everything can’t be Kumbaya over here sis

It sucks to say but it was easier? She doesn’t know if that’s the right term or not... for her to forgive rafi than it was lily and it’s fucked up but that’s the way it is. It’s not like she contacts him on seperate messages or anything like that! She’ll talk to him via group chat and that’s pretty much it. She knows it was all part of the show and production’s bs for ratings but that doesn’t mean it still didn’t hurt

Wishes him success on his shows/movies but doesn’t engage/watch them

What does she post? I feel like she posts maybe three times a month and a lot are outfit pics but tends to go live more so to chat with the people! She’ll also show all what glassblowing entails while chatting away! She loves that part and is pretty open about things but knows how to keep some things private

Personally wasn’t the biggest fan of season 1 but admits she wishes she had mc’s balls in terms of what she would have done if she was in elladine’s place when lily picked Nicky, “ugh! I wish I had her strength rising through my veins in that moment. Absolute riot. Adore her.”

‘“Licky” is a ugly ass ship name anyways so who’s really winning here?!’

Celeb crushes? Iwan Rheon, Henry Zaga, Anthony Welsh, jason derulo, & LaRoyce Hawkins

Listens to: soleima, Marisa Maino, Ava Max, poppy, Caroline polachek, Donny Hathaway, Phil Good, & SAINt JHN

Anthem — M.I.A. “Bad Girls”