#he loves his husbands he fucking loves his besties THAT BEAR IS FULL OF LOVE

[curi0uscreature]

* Realizing this figment indicates that Helmut also remembers walking down the idle IM GOING INSANE. / POS

[sokovianfortune]

hello . i would like to talk about my own sexuality/relationship headcanons for the wbn trio since it’s a topic of conversation today :3

jack and elsa are both bisexual. this is a semi-recent discovery for both of them, given that most of elsa’s sexual partners have been women and most of jack’s sexual and romantic partners have been men. had they been asked about their sexualities pre-special, they’d both probably identify themselves as some flavor of gay (here meaning same-sex attracted, rather than an umbrella term like queer!). there is a reason why i have referred to the two of them running into each other in the maze as The Bisexual Jumpscare.

jack is also asexual! he’s not particularly sex-repulsed, he just largely views sex as a bonding activity and a way to make his partner feel good/express romantic love. this is fine by ted because uhh. i mean. let’s all be honest with ourselves here, it is very doubtful that my man has a libido anymore or the hardware to make it happen.

on the other end of the spectrum, you have elsa who only rarely indulged in sex as a way to scratch the human need itch. most of her past partners were one-night stands and she never stuck around for long, either way. but, once she and jack got together, her libido went fucking haywire and now she’s constantly (willingly!) dragging him into ulysses’s old bed chambers. good for her. good for them.

ted only the other hand is Gay gay. he did have a wife pre-transformation as per comics canon but, at the time they were married, he hadn’t really realized or even explored that particular facet of himself. workaholic scientist, yknow. he was operating under the typical “oh i guess i have to get married now because that’s what people Of My Age do.” there also might have been some period-accurate comphet involved, depending on how old he actually is.

ironically and perhaps to metatextually lean into monsters being queer-coded, becoming what he is now, while obviously a traumatic experience at the time, eventually allowed ted the freedom to explore this facet of himself and become comfortable with it.

jack and ted call each other husbands. they are not legally married. it just kind of started as a bit one day and it stuck. at what point did it stop being a bit? they don’t know and have not addressed it. jack would love to wear a ring regardless but he’s very worried about accidentally severing a finger if he forgets to take it off before the full moon.

on the hand, if anyone refers to jack as anything less neutral than elsa’s partner, she Will start gagging. she is forty one years old, she is nobody’s fucking girlfriend. wife is also off the table. she’d get married for practical tax reasons or something maybe but it would have to just be signing a paper in a courthouse with one (1) witness. an actual wedding ceremony (having to bear her stupid soft feelings in front of everyone she knows!!!) would be akin to a particularly humiliating trip through the nine circles of hell for her.

i call them the people’s polycule but they’re really more like a poly v with jack as the midpoint. ted and elsa are decidedly not romantically interested in each other at all but they Are besties united by their love for their beloved little bow wow. i know we have confirmation of the “she’s not into dogs” line but my headcanon is and always will be that the thing ted says to jack to make him laugh at the end is only kind of a joke about being willing to try opening things up if he wanted to.

(jack immediately dismissed this as A Joke and that was when ted knew he was in for a whole lot of yearning. god help him.)

[jdeanmorgan]

39. Because time has run out, for buddie pretty please if it sparks joy 💖

this one was just angsty enough to let me focus, so here you go bestie. (i'm sorry in advance)

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Buck was supposed to take his time, find the perfect moment to tell Eddie just how much he loves him. How much he’s in love with him. They’ve both been single for months now, ever since Eddie got dumped by Marisol, since Buck dumped Natalia. They were supposed to have more time. He presses his hand against his wound, closing his eyes at the sticky feeling of blood on his fingers. Eddie still hasn’t noticed, too busy shielding Christopher with his body. Who takes people hostage at a grocery store at 2 PM on a Sunday? Buck tries his best to act normal, to act like he isn’t bleeding out from a gunshot wound, a stray bullet aimed at nothing in particular. The hostage taker just wanted to scare them, of that Buck is sure. He doesn’t sound a day over eighteen. Buck leans against the shelf, but he does it too heavily. Eddie turns towards him, his eyes mapping out every inch of Buck’s body in the matter of a second. His eyes catch on Buck’s bloody hand, and a whimper is punched out of him. He lets go of Christopher, seemingly without realising, and rushes to Buck’s side, his hand finding Buck’s bullet wound. “Buck!” Christopher’s voice is shrill, full of fear. He’s leaning heavily on his crutches as he stares down at them. Buck doesn’t know how this happened, how he got down to the floor, but he doesn’t like the woozy feeling of blood loss rushing through his head. He lifts a bloody hand. “It’s okay, Chris.” “You’re not fucking okay.” Eddie exclaims, frantically trying to put pressure on the wound. He turns towards Christopher, ignoring the Ski-Masked man standing a few feet away from them, gun pointed right at Eddie. “Chris, get a first aid kit.” The man moves to aim his gun at Chris. “Don’t even think about it.” “What are you gonna do?” Chris questions defiantly. “Shoot a disabled kid?” The man sighs, aims the gun on Eddie. “If he does anything, I’ll shoot your husband again.” Buck can’t help the breathless chuckle from escaping. Even the man who shot him can see how much he loves Eddie, how much they belong together. It comes out more as a wheeze. He lifts his hand to Eddie’s cheek, running his thumb over his cheek. “It’s okay.” “It’s not okay.” Eddie’s voice is steely with his stress. “Just hang on, okay? Stay with me.” “I thought we had more time.” Buck coughs, the bitter taste of iron flooding his taste buds, something wet crawling its way out of his mouth. Eddie sobs, and Buck shakes his head as best as he can, ignoring the blatant dizziness the action brings. “Don’t cry, Baby.” “Don’t.” Eddie shakes his head. He takes the first aid kit from Chris, immediately tearing it open and getting the gauze. He lifts Buck’s shirt, disinfects the wound as best as he can. Buck tries his best not to make a noise, but the pain is too much. He groans, keeping his eyes away from Christopher. He can’t bear to see the pain on the kid’s face. Eddie presses the gauze against the wound. “Don’t you dare give me a deathbed confession.” Buck can’t help it. He smiles, his eyes stinging. He uses the last of his strength to lift himself up on his elbows. He drags Eddie forward, resting their foreheads together. “You have to let me.” “I don’t-“ Buck shushes him. He presses their lips together, the kiss weak, but it’s everything. Eddie kisses him back, then pushes him gently to lay on his back. “I’m not letting you die.” “I’m sorry.” Buck can already see black spots in his vision. He knows what this feeling is. He’s going to pass out, and he might not wake up. He looks at Chris, even though he told himself he wouldn’t, and he gives him a smile. “I love you, kid.” The last thing he hears before he passes out is Christopher’s sobbing, and Eddie begging him to stay awake.

Send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss

[kj-munch]

!! actno POLEASE! Why wont backspace worjk

DR CHARLES ACTON-DOLLO my bestie. its been a while since ive posted any legit lore with him and some stuff has been tweaked so im gonna do a pretty hefty recap, so forewarning this is gonna be long as fuck

starting in pre-canon, he used to be a high school bio teacher! he has a degree in biotechnology so he was a bit overqualified for the job, but he struggled to find work closer to what he studied for. he felt a little disappointed with himself for that, but he DID love his job as a teacher a lot, plus he had his husband murphy at his side! things werent perfect but they were damn close, and the two of them planned to have a child together in the very near future.

UNTIL the madness hit nevada full swing. plans for a child went out the window with the hellscape nevada was devolving into with no sign of improving. acton lost his job as a teacher, but was quickly picked up by the newly forming AAHW due to his expertise in biotechnology. things were shitty, but he was able to find excitement in finally becoming a respected scientist! one of the leading figures in the development of the MAG program in fact!

some time later, following a close call incident in which acton was nearly a casualty, his husband murphy convinced him that he needed to be there to help protect him. the two of them agreed that the best course of action would be for murphy to become MAG, as those are powerful enough that the risk of murphy being seriously injured or even killed on the job was very low. additionally they agreed to it because it was intended to be temporary (murphy signs a contract to agree to work for the AAHW in year long stints, at the end of each year long period he would be able to either renew the contract or quit and be cloned back into a regular grunt body)

but only around a month after murphy was magnified, he began showing signs of something having gone wrong. acton could do nothing but watch from the sidelines as the man he married rapidly devolved into a bitter, cruel and work-obsessed MAG agent who answered onto to law and snapped at anybody who dared try to compare him to his old self.

obviously watching this happen and not knowing how to help in the slightest, actons own mental state began to deteriorate. being completely loathed by the man who’s still your husband on paper does things to a guy! especially when youre the head of the department dedicated to monitoring him and youre forced to interact with him almost daily! acton began to avoid law in face to face interactions the best he could, but his job position and his own desperate attachment never let him go too far

this went on for months, the tension on both ends only continuing to build until eventually it finally all came to a head. during a standard monitored training session, law snapped and attempted to murder acton. as a heat of the moment decision it was poorly planned. law shatters and reaches through the observation window and manages to kill several other scientists in the project law team in his attempt to reach acton. (important side tangent i shoulda mentioned earlier probably but w/e, when murphy was magnified they implanted a remotely controlled detonator in the back of his neck. as a powerful and dangerous MAG, this was intended as a safety measure in the case he ever turned on his fellow agents. as the head of the project law team, acton was entrusted with the controller)

actons remaining attachment made him hesitate to resort to the detonator, along with a mix of shock at what he was seeing. he hesitated long enough for several other people in the room to die, in which acton finally activated the controller and killed law.

despite everything, acton cant bear to lose law. hes beat down by months of open hatred from him, but he’s still desperately hopeful that murphy has to be in there somewhere. he goes back and forth with AAHW higher-ups to negotiate laws revival, which is eventually granted. learning this news, the remaining members of the project law team (many of which actually good friends of acton) turn on him and are hurt and shocked that he could STILL be defending law after EVERYTHING. many refuse to work with him and demand to be moved to a different department.

when law is revived approximately a week after his death, acton is the one to greet him. the conversation goes south fast and law lets loose how deeply his loathing runs, for acton AND himself. law doesnt attempt to physically harm him again, and i want to depict this scene in art one day so i wont go too in depth now, but actons still left deeply wounded.

with his social circles now COMPLETELY destroyed and having no one to talk to, acton finally just relents under the pressure. barely a week after laws revival, acton quietly dissents and goes completely off the grid. hes working under his own contract and cant simply quit, as a higher ranking scientist he has too much insider knowledge to risk trying to escape to another city where he could still live in some sort of comfort. he’s forced to completely go it alone.

actons time after his dissent is 90% spent feeling miserable and sorry for himself, and 10% scavenging for the bare minimum resources to keep himself alive. hes a weak scientist, he’s not built for surviving on his own out in the wastes, and he only manages to scrape by by laying low and hiding from any passerby. this doesnt always work, a few times he is found by bandits who rob him for what little belongings he has, and beat the shit out of him for the fun of it.

its a fucking miserable existence. but hes afraid to die, so he spends his last days thinking about what he couldve done different. how he couldve saved murphy, or not let it happen in the first place. he reminisces on the good old days quite a bit too. ultimately hes just wasting away out there, a far cry from the bright-eyed respected top scientist he once was.

[mick-mundy]

ranking the mercs based on how often i think they shower

i freakin love making these hired killers seem more human by thinking about mundane things like this, so i finally decided to write some of my thoughts down.

1.) SOLDIER

- this might be a surprise but i firmly believe soldier showers every single day.

- it seems to be agreed upon by everyone that he gets up at the same time every day to kick the others’ doors down to wake them up because AMERICA WAKES UP AT THE ASSCRACK OF DAWN, MAGGOTS! WHAT WOULD OUR FOUNDING FATHER GEORGE FOREMAN THINK IF HE SAW YOU SLACKING OFF?!

- part of this routine is a quick 15 minute shower. he probably unknowingly lives by the pits, tits, ass (P.T.A) regimen, but at least he’s showering 7 times a week. absolutely uses 3-in-1 soap.

2.) HEAVY

- oh heavy my dear sweet sweet heavy. bear husband. dear friend.

- heavy is perfect idk what to tell you. he grew up with four women and raised three of them. you can’t tell me this man isn’t keeping himself clean every day.

- he gets extra points because he knows how to take care of himself. he doesn’t need very many products, which is for the better considering he’s showering all the time.

- i don’t have much to say other than that, he’s just really. what’s the word. dependable. he keeps a routine and i think that’s hot <33

3.) DEMOMAN

- oh demo my darling man. handsomest mug this side of the rio grande river has ever seen.

- based on the headcanons i’ve read, i think demo’s parents, mom specifically, rode his ass about him bathing. they were already harking on him to get into the family business of blowing shit the fuck up so it’s pretty easy to imagine they were the same about showering.

- HOWEVER, it was a constant battle between “ye need ta’ smell like gunpowder if ye’re gonna be a degroot!” and “ye stink ta’ bloody fuckin’ hell, tavish!” so demo just showers as often as he can out of habit now. at least 5 times a week. the gunpowder smell will stick to him regardless.

- he’s thorough in his bath time regimen, unlike his bestie, so he gets bonus points for taking good care of himself.

4.) MEDIC

- you’d think he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to keep himself cleaned and groomed, what with how much time he spends enthralled in his work, but i think he finds great satisfaction in taking care of himself… when he does, that is.

- much like the next few mercs, bathing isn’t a necessity to medic. he understands the health benefits of staying clean so he does the bare minimum when he feels like it, which is about 3 times a week.

- he stays fresh using expensive colognes (they aren’t nearly as pricy as spy’s assortment of scents, but they’re sure as hell not cheap) and scented hair pomade to keep his iconic swirl on point.

5.) ENGINEER

- engie is such a hard nut to crack here because he seems like the kind of guy that showers often, but i also think he gets too caught up in his work to take care of himself. he doesn’t see bathing as a necessity when there’s work to be done. eating and drinking is much more important than staying clean. plus, what’s the point in showering if he’s only going to go back to the workshop and/or field to get dirty again?

- that being said, he “”showers”” like twice a week. they can’t really be considered full showers because all he really does is rinse himself off. a little bit of soap will be caught in the mix if he’s feeling spicy.

- if he’s going out to meet important higher-ups or to go into town, he’ll thoroughly wash up.

- …unfortunately that’s not very often.

6.) SNIPER

- gross. stinky. love of my life <333

- as much as i love calling sniper a gross stinky man, i think he showers just enough to avoid being the worst smelling. yeah, the piss smell sticks and he’s pretty much desensitized to it, but he’s aware of the other smells he creates.

- he’ll shower only when he needs to, so like. twice a week. maybe three of it’s been hot enough outside. just like engie, he sees it as more of a “when it’s urgent” dealio instead of taking care of himself.

- someone made the comment that he’d use aussie shampoo on one of my art posts and i completely, 100% agree. that’s fuckin hilarious. imagine. i bet he likes the kangaroo on the bottle :]

- i’m also fond of the idea that he will literally strip to his birthday suit and roll around in dirt if he’s REALLY not feeling like taking a shower (which is most of the time.) he’d rather smell like dirt than sweat, plus the earth dries him out, the way nature intended. primitive problems require primitive solutions.

7.) SCOUT

- ha! you probably expected our good lad to be at the bottom of the list!! well, think again!

- actually- that’s not a lot to brag about; scout’s ma SOMEHOW drilled a barely passible decent showering schedule into his head from a young age. i mean, EIGHT BOYS? come on dude, there’s no way she or the older sibs didn’t hark on scout to shower at least twice a week (persuading probably included hosing him down in the yard when he got too smelly.)

- due to scout logic, he takes fucking forever to shower now, AND he sings like a banshee! he thinks that if he takes longer that means he’ll stay cleaner for longer, plus, there’s multiple showers so he won’t get kicked out for taking forever. makes sense, yeah?

- he’s yet another merc that uses 3-in-1, but he walks out of the showers wrapped in a gaudy robe with the swagger of someone that spends thousands of dollars on high quality bathroom items.

- unfortunately, he also douses himself in axe body spray. you win some, you lose some. sniper’s dirt bath smell will always be better than copious amounts of axe body spray. shrug

8.) SPY

- i really don’t think he showers often.

- however, this isn’t because of the french-don’t-shower stereotype. it’s more about him being on the field where it doesn’t really matter what he smells like. the cloaking device conceals basically everything, and no one on base is interested (at least outwardly) in getting close enough to him to really notice or care about what he smells like. the scents he buys are really more for himself, than anything.

- just like his son, albeit with actual reason to walk around like he’s hot shit, he buys only the finest perfumes and colognes that were specifically made to cover up the body’s natural odors.

- they’re super fucking expensive; they’re well made and do their job excellently. the other mercs can’t complain about his smell, they can only shudder in disgust at the potential lethal force of his balaclava’s stench. luckily, no one on his team has ever gotten close enough. the opposite team isn’t so lucky.

- the only time he’ll shower every single day is if he’s going to be around someone he cares about very much (scout’s ma, etc.)

9.) PYRO (she/he/they)

- if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound?

- the answer is yes! the workings of the world are not dependent on the validation of humans!

- the same goes for pyro. no one on base has EVER seen them shower. it’s fucking impossible to catch him in the act. the other mercs have started assuming that she never showers at all, but at least the suffocating smell of smoke and burnt flesh covers any possible odor, right?

- wrong! pyro probably has the best routine of ANY of the mercs! they fucking love baths and try to indulge themselves as often as possible because the bubbles, good smells, and rubber duckies are hard to pass up.

- unfortunately this list is based on showers, not baths. sorry pyro </3

[kronoose]

Info dumping about the residents of Luc's tower only one of which actually participates in the hunt regularly

Two of which had actual names I didn't write them down tho so they're still their nickname

Doc is getting his own post because he needs an bundle of extra tw and Milton is unimportant

Firstly we've got cooky friendly lesbian granny who can and will kick your ass for messing with her domain(the kitchen) she is a mom figure to Luc and the only one who can full name him they met shortly after he'd joined the Duke gang. She has a goth cottage core (look it up it's so pretty) girlfriend who's a florists she doesn't know cooky works for a serial killer but she does know the adults of the tower they car pool to the gay bar and kink club

Cooky was married to a gay man in her youth they couldn't conceive together due to fertility issues on both sides and very limited sex they split after he came out to her they're still friends in one au said husband is my teacher OC in that au they're besties like they're both incharge of a bunch of queer dumbass's and vent to eachother about their kids

She grows weed and makes adult treats on Fridays this has lead to many goofy lil bits in my fic she doesn't often join in the hunt but occasionally she will just to de stress

Next is Seth aroace sloth Boi they're non-binary

They wear lens less glasses like Connie in Steven universe

They killed their own father because he was a piece of shit this was very much hyped up by all the other named charecters.

They are the towers unofficial welcoming committee

They do not participate in the hunt they will participate in the pre and post hunt hype fest tho then he takes a nap

Seth can and will fall asleep in the most jump scare positions and places

Next the only OC I've never been able to pic crew

Ben the mom of the tower and everyones hype man. Ben is part bear and I believe he was once a bear in the 2sLGBTQ way but I couldn't find an answer conclusively enough if other people under the queer umbrella could use the term or if it was just gays so he's just the mama bear in the Physical sense

Ben is the second successful transformation Luc did they're child hood friends they briefly dated but realized they were just doing everything the same except with more kisses and we're like nah bro friends only

Ben is demibi ace

Ben is the only one I still use a face claim for

He was the one to bring Dani and Luc to the Duke gang

His dad 'vanished' the day after Ben came out to him it didn't go well Luc doesn't take well to his family being hurt his dad was doc's first live test for his skin

Ben is the only one who knows what happened to Luc's eye other than Dani

Next Jules the only named child in the tower

My brain was like what if the bigots got confronted with their child self as I was listening to Nightcore and I was like yes that anime person shall be them

Jules has a different name for each set of pronouns they use (he Julian/she Julia/they Jules)

They were born in the tower and home schooled there father was a werewolf mother was a shape Shifter

They were sent to normal school and promptly expelled for figthing and arson

The figthing was self defense the arson was for funsies

They can turn into child versions of people

They have not killed yet

Both of their parents fucking bounced so Jules was communally raised

Damian is Luc's demon who he summoned by accident the summoning was intentional he just got the wrong demon

Damian is kinda bassed off the black Butler demons

Damian is Demiace realizing both labels while listening to people gossip about their love lives and being like that's not me

[sukipershipper]

Can you spill some of ur bugsnax hcs?

I assume you mean with the characters, in which case, Yes of course!  Bear with me though that all of these are going to take place Post-Snaktooth Island. I might do some headcanons on what happened on the island but for now take these.

(SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE END OF THE GAME, I also apologize for it being so freaking long...I actually did not intend on that)

FILBO

They all lived in a small but very prosperous town, said town doesn’t have a name cause Mun isn’t creative enough to make one yet

After being elected Mayor, Filbo had learned to become more assertive with others. His role as Mayor of the small town involves him doing a few small tasks, like cleaning up the streets or helping with lessons at the schools

Other times however he is brought into meetings to plan celebrations, opening new buildings and ways they can develop the community.

His meeting council includes Floofty, who is always helping him out in terms of his decisions.

His office has all of the trinkets and maps from Liz’s adventures, as well as pictures of everything they did on Snaktooth and all the pictures she and Eggabelle have of each other.

Filbo constantly sends out letters in bottles to Snaktooth in the hopes that Liz and Egg will find it and write back. He is still waiting on a response from them

When he gets bored, he often just draws in a spare journal he has. He does this in meetings or when he’s at a lunch with the others

He had a statue of Liz and Egg made and placed in the center of the town to help remember them and what they stood for

WAMBUS/TRIFFANY

Wambus and Triffany live in a small country home just outside the town next to the beach and a small grotto. 

The place has a large amount of land for Wambus to start a farm with all sorts of sauces. The beach they live next to has a big cave with all sorts of secrets that Triffany is willing to discover.

Reconnecting with their kids has been a challenge, seeing as they left quite abruptly. The kids did eventually start coming around though.

Wambus is a very good cook, lots of people headcanon it and I headcanon it too. The man can make a mean roast. Only reason he never did it on Snaktooth was because the food was already walking around so he had no need to.

Triffany may look like a stick but she’s actually quite strong. On the same levels as Wambus and Chandlo? Maybe not. But she has punted several people before.

She is also very unconventional in her methods, resulting in lots of Scars and broken bones. Wambus had tried bandaging her up before but after failing 15 times he just called Floofty.

Speaking of Floofty, the couple have a very good relationship with the scientist. Floofty often helps Triffany with collecting samples or attempting to help Wambus with growing crops, though those attempts often result in Wambus yelling and Triffany trying to calm her husband down.

FLOOFTY

Floofty now teaches at the towns school, they’re a very talented professor and many of the students they teach have delighted in their work. Though other teachers find the methods very...unconventional.

Though Floofty is still quite cold hearted to most of the grumpus’ they have learned to be more cheerful towards certain Grumps. One of which being Snorpy and the other being their students.

Many students ask how Floofty lost their leg, to which they reply: That information is irrelevant, but if you truly wish to know then speak with the Mayor

When Not teaching they’re usually helping Snorpy out with anything involving the Grumpinati. Though they aren’t really of much help considering their methods

They definitely are considered a cannibal, Floofty was once seen carrying an arm (no one knows if that was theirs) and took a little nibble of it...then spat it out and complained that it was too salt

They are always helping Filbo out in terms of his mayoral duties.

GRAMBLE/WIGGLE

Gramble and Wiggle share a small little two story home in the town. The house is decorated with all sorts of flowers and different patterns on the fence

While Wiggle is always busy touring, playing music, Gramble became the local veterinarian for the town. His experience with the Snax actually prepared him for the animals. 

He also has a small little puppy, ten times better than any of the Snax he had

Gramble still does keep pictures of Sprout around his room, as much as he hated knowing he harbored a parasite in his home, he still missed the little guy. (I am fully convinced the one at the end though was Sprout)

He and Wiggle began dating right after they settled into the house together, believing that it was much needed change for the both of them.

Gramble knits sweaters for Wiggle since she goes out touring so much, he also knits plush versions of the Snax he kept back on Snaktooth. It was the biggest mistake he made, cause now he envisions them staring at him and wanting to murder him

Wiggle always tries to help him when it comes to his nightmares. Playing white noise or ASMR videos so he can go to sleep

Her songs are very well received and she has quite a lot of publicity. Do The Wiggle is still one of her best selling numbers, but she has some love for her other pieces too.

She is always asked to sing at events by Filbo, and of course she never says no. One of her favorite things to do is get one of the kids to come up and sing Do The Wiggle with her since it’s one of the best songs in their opinion

She has a ring box tucked away in her dresser, she’s waiting for the right moment to pull it out on Gramble and propose

CROMDO

Cromdo is doing much better in life, opening up a successful karaoke bar and gets quite a lot of business from some of the guys in town. 

He also showed the less serious side of himself a lot more, and once he let down such a defensive guard he was able to get further in life, albeit he still has a long way to go

He and Beffica still don’t get along, but they’re on better terms than they were back on Snaktooth 

He hasn’t completely dropped his ways though, he’s still a big old Scumbag (and we love him for it). Often he tries to make a profit off something miniscule like an old bottlecap. 

Though Cromdo is still a scumbag, he helped Filbo and Buddy set up Filbo’s campaign to get him elected

Cromdo still tries stealing Triffany’s stuff and Wambus fucking yeets him all the way into town. How he has no broken bones from that is still a mystery to everyone.

BEFFICA

Beffica is now a photographer for the local newspaper, probably not a good choice in many of the Grumps opinions

She is however much better than she was on Snaktooth, and does have a small friend group outside of the Snaktooth Island group

Her old friend group has tried getting in touch with her but she’s very reluctant to talk to them again

Many of the older grumpus’ have basically adopted her because she’s still very shaky after everything, they didn’t expect her to be so shaky but life is surprising.

Her favorite person to go to though is Triffany, for the pure fact that she and Triffany just talk about guys and it’s the best chat ever

She and Filbo are on much better terms, and she may or may not have some feelings hidden for the new Mayor but we will never truly know

She and her ‘Bestie’ go out for Boba tea all the time, a truly fun experience for the both of them

CHANDLO/SNORPY

Chandlo takes Snorpy out on morning runs all the time, he’s proud that his bro is taking baby steps into letting the outside world embrace them

Oh, Snorpy is also He/They now, I honestly feel like it fits them

Snorpy and Chandlo moved to a small little apartment complex for now. The home is very quaint and the two have little designated areas for all the stuff they have.

They also had to make room for Floofty as the sibling insisted on staying with their brother for...reasons

Chandlo goes to library a lot to learn new techniques to help Snorpy, but he also secretly reads up on articles about the Grumpinati in the hopes to help Snorpy destroy them one day

He and Floofty have made a strong pact over the fact that Snorpy must be protected at all costs, no exceptions

Snorpy is a lot more open about what he does now, often asking for advice from Chandlo about his inventions and whatnot.

Neither of them are good cooks, they both try but both almost always burn the complex down so they just ask Floofty to do it

Snorpy actually bruises very easily, he is a literal tomato. So he doesn’t always participate in many physical activities but he does try his best

When Snorpy does bruise, Chandlo goes into full panic mode as he doesn’t know how to tend to wounds. No one ever told him that you can put ice to make it go down quicker

They are married, they have all the paperwork signed and the rings to prove it

SHELDA

She does still go by the name Shelda as people aren’t quite used to calling her Shellsy Woolbag

She actually took up dating when she encountered an old friend of hers, such friend does not have a name because as stated before, Mun is not creative

Shelda has a lot of books and meditation CD’s in her shelves, she also has a Tape Player so when she goes out on walks she can listen to some of the best audiobook readings

She and Floofty get a long a little better, sometimes Floofty will give her insight as to what the world is to THEM and Shelda shares a funny story in return, one that does manage to make Floofty laugh surprisingly.

People don’t often see her get out much, possibly because she’s always busy writing up her experiences and whatnot

She is Buddy’s comfort and the one that they room with currently, she is actually very good company believe it or not

She and Buddy also love writing little stories together as practice for her next book, and they also exchange drawings and doodles they’ve done over the course of the day.

And that’s pretty much it! 

[maybe-your-left]

clyde x kylo go nondairy for the new year.... who hates it more? that’s between me and my diary 👀🤭

spoiler alert: @finn-ray-nal-beads and i have gone dairy free & vegan for the month of january! so why not make the besties do it to?

You had stood in front of the fridge for 30 minutes now and your headache was now forming into a migraine. Clydes doctor told him he had to watch his food intake, saying he had high blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Which wasn’t a shock, he ate literally anything and everything he could.

One time you tricked him into eating a sponge, he wasn’t paying attention and you wanted to test his ability to multitask. He sadly had three bites before noticing it wasn’t a sandwich.

“Why does everthin’ got dairy in it?”

“I don’t know sweetie,” you mumbled from the floor. You had a notebook in hand, writing down each item that you needed to replace with a healthier option. You were excited about the change, the girls would eat better and Clyde would get some much needed nutrition. Not that he wasn’t fit, but he was a southern man... you were 99% sure his favorite food was butter.

It was devastating for him to find out that it had dairy.

“Do we have t’ get rid of it all?” He whined, “How bout we jus’ stock it in the outside fridge, no use thrown away good food.”

“You’re just gonna eat it when we all go to sleep,” you huffed, “Dont think I can’t hear you waking up in the middle of the night to grab a ‘glass of water’.”

“Yer killin’ me darlin’,” Clyde set out the ice cream, staring at it with a lustful gaze. You were sure in that moment he was about to break. Attack the carton like he was the last man on earth and it was his only food.

“Come on,” you made grabby hands at him, “Help me up, we have shopping to do.”

———

Boone county wasn’t the best place for health food shopping, their idea of plant based and dairy free was a small shelf of almond milk and old yogurts. You were frustrated by the third store and Clyde was minutes away from abandoning you on the side of the road to get a Big Mac.

“Lemme make a call real quick,” you mumbled. If anyone knew where to shop for ‘healthy foods’ it was Kylo. That man was the epitome of clean living, everything he ate was homemade (by the staff he hired), balanced proportions, veggies, breads, lean beef and sometimes the occasion vegan meal when he feels like it.

The man has his own juicer for godssake, he would know where to find some Oat Milk.

“Hello gorgeous,” he mused through the phone, “You were just the person I wanted to talk to. Miss me already?”

“Ren yer on speaker,” Clyde hollared, a deep smirk coloring his face while he glared at you. It had been a few weeks since your ‘arrangement’ with Kylo... it was new and still slightly uncomfortable.

But it was just sex, well for you anyway. And your husband was always present.

Either apart of it or watching for a chair, Clyde was very into the idea of Kylo fucking you numb every Thursday night (kids aren’t home, Junior is with his aunt).

“How can I help you both,” Kylo laughed through the speaker. You could tell he was busy doing something, the sound of his ear moving on his phone was obvious. He was probably working, holding it between his shoulder and face.

“We’re tryin’ t’ find a store that sells that dairy-free junk.”

“Why?”

“Because Clydes doctor scolded him like a child for eating like a black bear,” you sighed.

“Hey,” Clyde grumbled, “If I’m gonna be a bear, might as well be a Grizzly.”

“Whatever,” Kylo mumbled, “Come to my house, you can browse through the walk in. I have all the health foods delivered since this place is hillbilly hell.”

———

Kylo was waiting at the door, greeting you with a kiss and a firm handshake for Clyde. The two of them started to wander off to the living room, some stupid fight was on tonight and they were arranging what house would be better for getting plastered at.

You skipped to the walk in, Kylos house really had everything. A shiny gourmet kitchen, complete with a pantry that was larger than your master bedroom and a walk in mini grocery store. You grabbed a bag and started shuffling through the stock, falling into your own little world.

Just as you were reaching for something on the top shelf, a hard body pressed against you. “If you needed help,” Kylo reached above you, “You could’ve asked for me.” He started placing rough kisses on the shell of your ear, setting the box of tofu into your bag before latching his hands around your waist. Kylo rocked his hips into your supple ass, pushing you against the wired shelving.

“I had the most lovely dream about you last night, had to fuck myself twice when I woke up.”

“Oh,” you whispered, rocking back into him. The hard curve of his cock pressing into you. Kylo was always hard, just like Clyde. Always ready to leave you wet and undeniably full.

“So,” he brought his cheek against your own, his cold hands snaking under your shirt to squeeze your soft breasts. Pulling a whine from your throat as he pinched your nipples through the fabric, “Am I going dairy free too?”

“Why would you do that?”

“You swallow my cum, that would be cheating if I wasn’t on the same diet as your husband.”

The walk in door opened and shut again, you rotated your face around and smiled at Clyde. He stood there staring at the two of you, his arms crossed as he shook his head.

“Sunshine,” he cooed as he got closer, pressing his lips to your own. You chased his as he pulled away, the only thing stopping you was Kylos death grip.

“If we gotta give up some thin’ for the month... maybe y’ should too...”

“Uh-huh,” you whined, Kylos right hand was now sliding under your waistband. Cupping your sex with his palm while your husband watched in thought. Kylo rubbed his fingers through your folds, gathering wetness on his middle finger before skimming your clit. “What do you want me to give up Daddy?”

Clyde hummed, pressed his front into the side of your body. Kylo shifted so he was on the opposite side, allowing Clyde to palm your ass through your pants.

“Maybe we won’t let y’ cum for a month.”

———

🐻 big daddy is king

@finn-ray-nal-beads @historyandfandoms50 @contesa-lui-alucard @roanniom @ohdamnadamm @clydesfavoritegirl l @jynz-andtonic @relationshipwithmybed @shesakillerkween @desiraypark @caillea

[shimmershae]

Waltzing might have stalled (for the moment), but all the words and worlds crowding my brain haven't.  Wanna have a look-see at some of the other little Caryl drabble-verses I'm considering turning into their own full-fledged stories (eventually)?  Here you go.  Tell me which one(s) you'd most like to revisit.

First up, the AU Caryl married fic where they raise Sophia.  And a puppy. 

 1. 

 “Please, Mom.” 

 “Sophia,” Carol warned. 

 “But it was an accident, Mom.  He didn’t mean to.” 

 “Tell that to my begonias.” 

 She heard a snort behind her, and she whirled around to glare at her husband.  He was just as complicit in the laundry list of crimes as her twelve-year-old.  He didn’t know it yet, but he would pay.  “Daryl, don’t even.” 

 “Didn’t say nothing.”  He grinned, edged a little closer, penned her in against the counter.  “You know you want it, Sweetheart.”   

 “Mommy,” Sophia pleaded. 

 Three pairs of puppy dog eyes stared at her until she folded, completely melted. 

 “Okay.” 

***

“Daryl, have you seen my favorite…” 

 Daryl tried to hide the chewed-up shoe behind his back, but it was too late.  She’d already spotted it. 

 “Where is he?”

 “Sweetheart, just remember.  Harvey’s still a puppy.  He don’t know no better.”

 “Harvey Dent Dixon!” 

 Sophia appeared behind her mother, their happily slobbering new addition cradled in her arms. 

 Daryl tried to warn her away with his eyebrows, but he didn’t marry no fool.  His wife whirled around and angrily wagged her finger beneath the puppy’s nose.  

 “How do I even put up with you?”

 “Mom!”

 “We should have named you Wreck-It-Ralph.” 

 ***

 “Harvey, you know you’re not supposed to be in the bed.”

 The puppy responded to her half-hearted scolding with a sweetly pathetic whine and a broad swipe of his pink tongue across her chin, burrowing beneath the blankets with her and flopping down in an exhausted heap. 

 Caught between a giggle and a sigh, Carol merely smiled and opened her eyes, thankful her husband and daughter were at soccer practice and not bearing witness to her utter failure disciplining the little obedience school dropout.  “Oh, you.”

 Harvey’s tail thumped lazily. 

 “I have a secret.  Two, actually.  Promise not to tell?”    

 ***

“You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.” 

 Daryl peeled back, let his arms fall to his sides.  His blue eyes darted over to Sophia, but the preteen was looking elsewhere, anywhere but at them. 

 Harvey was flopped down between her daughter’s bare feet, his tongue lolling, mouth panting as he tilted his head this way and that, happily, tiredly unrepentant for the latest episode of chaos.

 “Help me out here, Soph.” 

 “It looked dead.” 

 “Weren’t, though.  How’s I s’posed to know Mama and Pa would go all Commando on us?  Fucking squirrels.” 

 Carol snorted out a laugh.  “Daryl!” 

 ***

“No more dogs.  How hard is it to understand?” 

 “Really?” Carol sighed as her husband mimicked her oft-repeated words.  Twisting in her seat to face him, at least as much as the seatbelt cinched snug across her hips would allow, she challenged, “C’mon.  You can do better than that, Pookie.” 

 Behind them, Sophia giggled. 

 Catching his stepdaughter’s eyes in the reflection of the rear-view mirror, Daryl narrowed his eyes.  “Traitor.” 

 Sophia grinned, stretching out her legs and wiggling her socked feet between them, her smelly socked feet. 

 “Sophia!  Shoes back on!” 

 “What your mom said.” 

 “Technically, it’s a kitten.” 

 “Pfft.” 

 ***

 “You fell asleep in the tub?”

 “Third time this week,” Sophia piped up oh-so-helpfully, fingers tightening in Harvey’s collar when he made another playful lunge at their newest family member.    

 Coined Poison Ivy by her feline-averse husband, the kitten squeaked.  Blue eyes huge, just as wet and bedraggled as Carol thanks to this latest disastrous romp, it shivered and snuggled itself into the open vee of her robe. 

 “Third time, huh?”

 “Not now,” Carol frowned.  “Sophia.  Take Harvey outside.  Let him chase some real squirrels.” 

 “But Mom…” 

 “Please?”

 Once alone, Daryl reached for her.   “Something you wanna tell me, Sweetheart?” 

 ***

 Eyeing her husband’s pale face warily, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, Carol murmured, “Did you hear…” 

 Daryl staggered a little on his feet, hands fumbling to find the edge of their mattress, just flopped there like a fish out of water.  Still looking a little stunned, he nodded at her when she made her careful approach. 

 Smiling hopefully when his hands found her waist, Carol tenderly brushed his hair back from his forehead.  “Use your words.” 

 “A baby?  You’re…” 

 “I’m...” 

 “Holy shit, Sweetheart.  We’re living in a sitcom.”    

 “Daryl!” 

 Frightened from her doze, Ivy mewed plaintively. 

 “Cat agrees.” 

 **************************************************

 Second, the AU where Carol and Daryl are partners.  Purely platonic.  Or are they?

2. 

 “Bed, Soph.  Now.” 

 “Fine.” 

 “Love you.” 

 “Sure.” 

 “Teenagers,” Carol muttered, falling back against her bedroom door.  Kicking her heels off, she bent to peel the stockings from her legs, made short work of her blouse and skirt.  She was down to her underwear and thigh holster before she realized she wasn’t alone. 

 “Keep going, Partner.” 

 “Fuck!  Dixon!  Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” 

 “Exterminators, remember?”    

 She took off her gun, turned on the bedside lamp, rolled her eyes at the erection tenting the sheet pooled around his waist.  “Seriously?” 

 He shrugged, grinned.  “Happens.”    

 “Stay on your side." 

  ***

Thing about Mason was, she was fun to fuck with.  And Daryl?  He loved fucking around.  Both in the bedroom, and…well.  Barring the field, everywhere really. 

 She’d left her bra on.  Sexy little number.  Just a lacy shadow against her pale, freckled skin. 

 His hands, body burned with the need to touch that skin, touch her.  He didn’t.  Didn’t trust himself not to take them both down a long, dark road that would consume them both.  Didn’t want to put their partnership on the line that way, but fuck.  She was right there.  He groaned. 

 “My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?” 

 ***

Carol rolled over, glared at her uninvited bedmate.  “Answer me, Dixon.  Who the fuck is Leslie?” 

 His smirk was slow.  Sly.  “Why?  You jealous?”  He deftly avoided her attempt to knee him in the nuts, pulled her leg over his hip instead. 

 “Dixon.” 

 Heeding her warning, he let her go.  “Relax.  Been watching tv with your ball-busting daughter.” 

 Carol softened.  “She loves that show.” 

 “Yeah, well.  Didn’t do much for me.” 

 “Your taste is questionable at best.” 

 “Mine?  What about yours?” 

 “Excuse me?” 

 “Your UPS man wear his little shorts on your date?” 

 “Dixon.” 

 “…” 

 “Scoot over a little bit, please.” 

  ***

“Quit moving.  I’m trying to sleep.  Wait.  Are you…what?!” 

 Daryl’s hand stilled under the sheet just long enough for him to hiss, groan.  “Jesus, Mason.  Think you can stop screaming in my ear?”  That was absofuckinglutely the wrong thing to say because those blue eyes flashed and caught fire, and shit.  Shit.  His hand quickly went from tugging his dick to shielding it as his partner’s small hands balled into fists, and she growled.  She fucking growled.  He was equal parts terrified and turned on.  Alright.  More like 60% terrified, 40%...

 “My kid’s…” 

 “14 going on 40 and not here.” 

  **************************

Third, teen besties Caryl AU where they both grew up with absent parents and found each other early on. 

 3. 

 “We really doing this silent treatment shit?  S’not my fault they only had one room.” 

 Carol heaved her duffel on top of the bed with a roll of her eyes, started digging through it like it held the secrets of the fuckin’ universe. 

 He wished.  Some last hurrah this was turning out to be.  Stuck in Bumfuck, Nowheresville in this Bates Motel wannabe.  With a best friend who’d sooner rip his nuts off than utter a civil word.  “Got a beer in there?” 

 “…” 

  “Shit.  Sorry.  Jesus.”

 “…”

 “Is that…That’s my shirt.  So is that…wait.”   

 “…” 

 “S’Walsh, right?  You crushin’ on me, Sweetheart?" 

 ***

 He was almost asleep, first decent forty winks he’d managed since they’d started this trash-fire trip when he heard it:  a blood-curdling scream worthy of this place’s whole Psycho ambience. 

 “Daryl!”

 The bathroom door bounced against the wall when he burst through it, practically broke his nose on the rebound, but that was all beside the point.  Two steps inside, and Carol was in his arms.  Shaking, still squealing, naked as the day she was fuckin’ born.  “Shh.  Got ya.  S’alright.  Somebody…shit.” 

 “Kill it.” 

 “A roach?  Seriously?  Thought you were bein’ murdered.” 

 “It’s prehistoric…what?” 

 “You’re so clingy.  I love it.” 

 ***

 They checked out, ended up at some Waffle House knock-off a half mile down the road that smelled like grease and maple syrup. 

 Daryl had already demolished his burger, was on the second refill of his shake before he addressed the huge fuckin’ pink elephant in the room.  “So, I saw you naked.  No big deal.” 

 Carol tugged at one of her wet curls.   “Great.  What every girl wants to hear.” 

 “Yeah, well.  Waxing poetic or some shit ‘bout your world class tits would only make things weird.” 

 “World class, huh?” 

 “Fuck.” 

 “Sharing is caring.  Now, give me your fries.” 

 ***

 “Oh.  Did I scare you, big boy?” 

 His fingers still fumbling with his half-zipped fly, Daryl scowled.  “Fuck off.” 

 Carol sighed, gathered her loose curls in one hand, lifted them from her sweaty neck.  “Would you relax?  I didn’t even see anything.” 

 Daryl remained skeptical.  “Sure?”

 This time, Carol rolled her eyes.  “Yes, I’m sure.   Want me to tear the hinges off a bathroom door next time?” 

 Daryl’s ears burned with the pointed reminder, and he joined her on the truck’s old tailgate, cast his eyes to the evening sky, their surroundings.  It was too…

 “Children of the Corn.” 

 “Stop.” 

 ***

 Fourth, Sophia finds herself in a spot of trouble. 

 4. 

“Quit stalling.  Where’s your father?” 

 Beside her, Sophia moaned into the cover of her hands.  “Mom, please.  It’s not Cade’s fault.” 

 Feeling her blood pressure tick up another notch, Carol wryly reminded her teen daughter, “Of course not.  I paid attention in health class.  It takes two.” 

 “Which makes it both their faults.” 

 The screen door slammed shut behind the man as he belatedly joined the fray, and Carol did a double take.  “Daryl?” 

 The boy’s shoulders lifted defiantly, but his blue eyes still looked just as worried. 

 “You’re Cade’s father?” 

 “Uncle,” Daryl clarified. 

 “This keeps getting better and better.” 

  ***

 Finally, because this post is too long and I'm going to have to do another one, AU.  Carol and Daryl are two neighbors not-so-secretly pining over each other, and the waiting game for one of them to make a move is killing Carol’s visiting friend Aaron.  He decides to help things along. 

  5.   

  “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.” 

 “What?  But you’re, well.”  Her cheeks almost as red in that moment as her hair, Carol couldn’t even sputter out the word. 

 Aaron, as always, was quick to bail her out of the awkward moment.  Hiding his smirk in her mad cap of curls, he took her hand in his own and pulled her against his side, ushering her quickly down the hallway to her apartment door while her neighbor—her hot, adorably awkward, single, and undeniably interested neighbor—watched.  “What Dixon doesn’t know…” 

 “But…” 

 “No buts.  Just play along.” 

 “He watching?” 

 “Definitely.” 

[themiddlelayer]

Ooey-Gooey

This feels chemical. That’s the only explanation for this sudden onset of the crazy. My weekend was fucking amazing! 

Java Bear drove down after work on Friday and curled up in bed with me. We didn’t sleep much but spent a few hours in bed together in the early morning just talking and cuddling. We got up before MM and went to breakfast. I didn’t want to just go back to the house so we walked around the mall and talked more before MM left to go to Phoenix. He went to a poly meet and greet last night then had coffee/lunch with Cosplay Chick today.

Java Bear had snapped a selfie of the two of us at breakfast and reiterated his interest in future, long-term things with me along with the preface that he didn’t want to push or pressure me into anything and that we would move at my pace. I fall for him a little more when he says things like that. He had made a remark about sharing the picture of us in the poly group and I decided to give MM a head’s up that I decided that I was ready to make it official with Java Bear. We were on my bed when I said, So… are you going to post that picture with your new girlfriend or not? It didn’t seem to really click until I said, Yes, I used that word deliberately. He lit up like a Christmas tree which only made me warmer and gooier inside.

It was then that he looked me in the eye with a big smile on his face and said “the words.” I am in love with you. And that had been prefaced with him saying that he didn’t expect me to say it back but that he’d been wanting so say it for some time. We spent the afternoon in bed before his ‘bestie date’ with a good friend of his who happens to live out in my neighborhood. It was an afternoon of, frankly, some of the best sex I’ve ever had. Oh, and I was wrong about his age- he’s a full 8 years younger than me. I’m absolutely glowing still.

After his dinner thing he came back to my house and we watched the latest “Grey’s Anatomy” curled up on the couch over ice cream. We both slept really well and lazed in bed until after 10am when we got up to do coffee and breakfast. We had a 3rd round of amazing sex before he left this afternoon. The words had been on the tip of my tongue for the last week, but it was when we were fully dressed, and he was talking about a different approach to antibiotic use and fighting the superbugs that have been emerging that the dam broke. I looked up at him as he was getting dressed… me in my fuzzy onesie sprawled across the bed and said, “I am so in love with you.”

Java Bear left and I pushed myself to be a responsible adult instead of just laying down for a happy nap. I made egg sandwiches for MM, washed the sheets again, made myself real food then did some reading in the book about codependency that MM is also reading. I also made the decision to take Nomad’s things out of the drawer under the bed and put it up in my office closet. I had the journal he bought me for my birthday, the Christmas stocking they got me and the necklace he got me for Christmas all wrapped up in his college sweatshirt. That was another wave of grief washing over my bliss.

By the time MM got home from Phoenix I was showered, medicated and sitting here with my laptop in bed. He asked to come in and sat beside me holding my hand while he talked about his weekend. He met another chick at the meet and greet who he was really interested in, but she wasn’t willing to “get in line” for him. She had driven him back to the hotel and there were “kisses” but she said that she would reserve making other plans with him until after his coffee date with Cosplay Chick. On top of that, he posted/tagged Pixie in a “who makes you smile” post today. He still considers me his primary and now he’s got Pixie, and Cosplay Chick (apparently) and he’d initially said that 3 would be too much but now he’s torn and really wants to keep chatting with the other chick from the meet & greet. It was hard, but it’s helping me accept that this is where we are and who we are now. We are family. Best friends. Partners. But not husband and wife like we once were.

Java Bear is having dinner with cosplay chick tonight. Apparently MM made such an impression during their coffee/lunch date that she wanted to talk to Java Bear and find out what he knows about MM. The sweetest part was that Java Bear messaged me asking if I would mind if he had dinner with her. They were involved at one point and he has been upfront about his interest in possibly dating her but he made clear again that he is closed to female partners right now so that he can enjoy the time with me and Olive. Feeling like this absolutely terrifies me. I feel crazy. I’m having cravings for sex like I’ve never had before and getting that ‘needy girlfriend’ feeling just now when I saw a comment he made about PM’ing someone in the poly group. This is what I was afraid of, but I couldn’t stop myself from falling any longer.

He’s home from dinner now and we are chatting a bit. I miss him. All of him. Fuck this is scary.

[emiliacarrow-blog]

Character Introduction

Emilia Carrow

— ✧ AMBER HEARD? No that’s actually EMILIA ‘MIA’ CARROW (WIFE TO JEROME). The 30 year old FORMER BEAUXBATONS is currently the CHARMS PROFESSOR AT DURMSTRANG. I’ve heard that the PUREBLOOD can be TOUGH and ARGUMENTATIVE but also PROTECTIVE and EMPATHETIC. If she had a theme song it’d be WE WILL RISE AGAIN BY DAN ROMER & MERIDETH GODREAU.

Emilia Giselle Carrow (nee Durand before her marriage to Jerome Carrow)

30 years old

Former Beauxbatons Alumi and now is the professor of Charms at Durmstrang.

Pureblood

Only child to two socialite architects/artists and was born in Versailles and moved between their and Nice in the French Riviera

Emilia goes by her full name, only Jerome calls her Mia - a term of endearment that surfaced throughout their relationship. Nicknames may be welcome among friends/family but if she doesn’t like it she’ll tell you. 

She’s aware of the 6 year age gap between herself and Jerome and doesn’t give a fuck about it.

She’s married to the one and only Jerome Carrow and has three beautiful children that she will never tire of. Isabella, Charlie & Flynn Carrow. Emilia adores her family and never thought she could ever feel this happy in life yet here she is. She would take bullets for them, she’d die for them without question. They are her everything. 

Emilia first met Jerome in The Louvre. She was walking around admiring each piece of art until she stopped to stare at a painting near the back. It was then that Jerome Carrow would find his way into her life and change everything. They’d began chatting and laughing at some painting and Jerome asked her out to dinner that night. Since then he’s been treating her like a queen and spoiling her with extravagant dates throughout their relationship. They did return to the Louvre and it was there that Jerome had hired it out and proposed to her in front of the very painting the first met at. They married a year later and have been in wedded bliss ever since. Emilia considers herself the luckiest woman alive & doesn’t care about what his surname is and the whispers or odd looks that comes with it. She knows that her husband would go wild if she was upset just like she would do for him. 

She was so soft and sweet when she first met Jerome but being with a Carrow as resulted in her toughening up. She refused to let the whispers and gossipy comments get to her and held her head high. It was hard for her at first since she’d never been under that kind of scrutiny before or had any horrible gossip columns talk about her like she was property but Jerome mattered more and Emilia learned over time to not let these things bother her. 

With her toughening up also brought out an argumentative side that she never knew she had. Jerome and her would challenge each other intellectually and verbally. They have many discussions where they disagree but it’s discussions. She finds that she argues a lot more with people which in her eyes wasn’t a bad thing. She has to be tough for herself and tough for her family. 

Emilia is mama bear af! She’s so protective of her family it’s unreal - including brothers in laws, nieces and nephews, best friends she considers family. She’s protective of her students and wants the best for them. Anyone being bullied or is upset, mama bear mode will kick in. 

The difference between herself and Jerome is that Jerome is more logical and thinks with his head whereas Emilia goes with her heart and her gut instinct.

Family is a huge thing for her. She’s aware of the mob life and at times has stepped in herself. Her husband is head of the family and she’ll be by his side. While he’s off sorting business, Emilia will normally take the kids to see Gramma Carrow, who she absolutely adores and the woman welcomes her with open arms. 

When she’s not teaching charms she’s usually outside with her kids or with other professors. 

Besties with Anastasiya Karkaroff - they met when Emilia first started dating Jerome and they’ve been best friends ever since. 

Growing up with architecture/artist parents, Emilia has a love for art and design. She keeps sketchbooks upon sketchbooks of all the artwork she’s done over the years. She has an art studio in her home with Jerome. She’s normally painting when she’s got a lot of her mind. 

Not a regular mum, she’s a cool mum! 

Constantly has lullabies stuck in her head because she’s singing them to her kids or humming them while she’s painting. 

Possible Plots/Connections:

Students

Friends

Babysitter

Tutor - Emilia tutors students

Dislike - Not everyone is happy to hear the Carrow name or see Carrows walking around happy

Art Chat - Emilia talks with them about art and maybe they share their artwork

Mama Bear - She’s got that motherly instinct, she looks out for people

Issue by association - If Jerome has a problem with you then Emilia has a problem with you

Agony Aunt - Emilia would try to help anyone that came to her needing it or advice in general

Family - We’re family, we’re a squad. 

Parenting - Bonding over having kids and letting their kids have some playdates with the adults get to catch up. 

if you’re up for plotting please hmu or like this. I’m open to anything & i’m happy to brainstorm with people

[fivedayslater]

Anyway I saw Infinity War earlier today and it was good but i am Dead Inside so here’s the Top 5 Reasons why:

Top 5 Worst Infinity War Deaths for Me Personally:

5) Loki

I’ve never been a huge Loki fan, like I like the character and all that but there are people in this world who are Very Passionate about their love for him and I just want to state for the record that I am not one of them. That said, the way he died here was Cheap and an assault on Me Personally. Like how fucking dare you make him chose between Thor and the Infinity Stone and then have him pick Thor when his bluff didn’t work. How fucking dare you Sirs, you know I eat that shit up and die every time. And then you just, kill him, right in front of Thor who’s already watched his brother die at least twice at this point, but like, this time it’s for realsies. Thor, who did absolutely nothing to deserve any of this, who is still reeling from the lost of his hammer and his eye and his father and his home and now his people and Heimdall and now even his brother and did I mention that he did nothing to deserve this? Thor did nothing but Suffer the whole movie and while it started a bit before Loki died right in front of him did I mention that Loki dying for real really sorta drove the loss of Actually Everything home for him.

In conclusion, Thor didn’t do anything to deserve any of this and he spent the vast majority of the movie trying to die and was one of 5 characters to somehow make it to the end.

Before we go on, I’m gonna give a quick Honorable Mention here to Stephen Strange, who didn’t make the list because I’m still mad at him for deciding not to treat Rhodey in his own movie that I saw literally an hour before I went to see this one, but did do that thing I like when, at the beginning of a story, character a says to character b something like ‘if push comes to shove i am straight up gonna let you die’ and then later, when push comes to shove, character a Absolutely Does Not let character b die. Totally saw it coming, still Hurt Me Personally when it did.

Anyway

4) T’Challa

T’Challa doesn’t get as much screen time in this movie as he deserves, but man does he own every bit of his. He is calm and collected and an absolute King the whole time aliens are dropping out of the sky and invading his kingdom. He doesn’t hesitate, he leads his people with dignity the whole time even through making tough calls like allowing Steve’s Team to bring Vision and his Infinity Stone in Wakanda, thus bringing Thanos’s forces to Wakanda, because he knows how important the whole thing is and he knows he and his entourage can help. And then he vanishes into thin air right in front of Okoye like wtf?? How fucking dare you???? Okoye, who would not only die for him without hesitation, but would have killed her husband in a heartbeat for him, his most loyal soldier, and there was nothing she could do to stop him from dying it was a random selection but she lived and he, her king, the man she swore to protect, died. Uncalled for. And the worst part is that he died trying to comfort her, still trying to be that calm and collected king as the world was falling apart around them, and maybe it would have worked if he didn’t fall apart with it.

3) Gamora

Listen, Gamora’s death broke Me Personally, it broke Peter, it broke Nebula, it broke fucking Thanos and he was the one who tossed her off a cliff. So we get to the cliff and Red Skull of all fucking people explains what Thanos needs to do to get the Infinity Stone, and I’m sitting there like ‘well it’s either a) he loves no one so can’t get the stone and Gamora’ll have to do it for him (bc let’s face it, we knew he was getting all the stones) or b) he’s loved Gamora the whole time and now he’s gonna chuck her off the cliff’ and Gamora is living because she’s so damn sure it’s option a but then Thanos turns around with tears in his fucking eyes because it’s option b and fuck you Thanos. Fuck you, and fuck your pity part and fuck your damn mission because Gamora had finally found happiness, she found a family with the Guardians and love with Peter and you just. You took her away from all that only to toss her off a fucking cliff because she’s the one thing in this world you actually loved. Fuck you, she didn’t deserve it. Mostly at three because I didn’t think they would actually Go There but they Fucking Did.

2) Bucky and Groot

They both get the 2 spot because they’re deaths were eerily similar, in that they both vanished into thin air in front of their bestie who already had to watch them die before, powerless to stop it from happening both times. Steve and Rocket also like, just got Bucky and Groot back it seems only for them to just, vanish. Right in front of them. Literally right there. And all they could do was just fucking watch this Extremely Important Person Literally Vanish Right In Front of them and there was Nothing They Could Have Done to stop it, and that’s the worst part.

For added angst points, Steve had pretty much thrown away everything he had in the 21st century, his job, his life, the Avengers, his relationship with Tony, for Bucky, and now Bucky’s just. Gone. Again. Added angst points for Rocket is that he’s the only Guardian to survive this. Of course, he doesn’t know that, but I do, and it’s a Terrible Knowledge to Bear. Rocket was born into this world alone and a freak, and he found friendship and acceptance in Groot and a family with the Guardians and now they’re all gone. They’re gone and he’s alone again and I’m suffering.

1) Peter Parker

I’ve been a fan of Spider-Man since I was like 10, and I’ve seen lots of Terrible Things happen to Peter. I’ve seen Uncle Ben die in his arms several times, I’ve seen him accidentally kill Gwen Stacy, I’ve seen Harry Osborne turn on him, I’ve seen him go full emo in Spiderman 3. Terrible things happen to Peter, and Peter always endures them, so I never in a thousand years expected him to be killed off like he was. I was sitting there, and one by one the Guardians were vanishing into nothing, and I was like ‘no, movie, no, don’t you d a r e touch him.’ But then you hear it, that absolutely fucking broken “Mr. Stark?” and you know, before Tony even turns, exactly what’s going down. And it’s Terrible. It’s Terrible for Peter, who isn’t even supposed to be there, who just a little while ago was on a field trip, who was told to go home because he is a teenager and this is a fight for the whole universe and god, Peter’s friends - assuming they survived - don’t even know that he’s gone. Holy shit I just realized what the actually fuck

Anyway.

It’s Terrible for Tony, because Tony brought Peter into the fight, both this fight in particular and the general super hero fight and as such Peter is his Responsibility and he Failed him, because Peter died. It doesn’t matter that half of everyone died, Peter was his responsibility and he failed to save him. Peter was so scared the whole damn time he was vanishing and he died terrified in Tony’s arms very far from home. And you know Tony’s blaming himself for that because he’s Tony Stark and that’s what he does best and everyone Tony cares about ends up suffering and/or dead. Peter doesn’t deserve any of this and Tony deserves it even less.

It’s Terrible for Me Personally, because I have to sit here and watch him die.

In conclusion, We All Die in Infinity War.

[narisjournal-blog]

Through the Pain

Dean x Reader (platonic)

Angst

Word Count: 5,231

A/N: This is my late entry for @greenappleeyes 1k follower challenge. My prompts were ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons and ‘Whatever has broken your heart, know that I am here to listen.’

Thank you to Nicole for being so patient with this, and for letting my husband join in and write his own fic too. (His is actually better) You can read this here.

I don’t think this is my best work, and there’s so much more I could explore with Dean and with this song, but it has been really interesting to write. I’ve not really written with prompts before. Please give me some feedback, I want to know what you lot think.

***

The trees blurred in front of you as you ran. You were in so much pain, blood gushing from the wounds you held tight with your hand, but you ran on instinct.

You wouldn’t end up like your brother. You had come too far and been through too much. You could hear the blood pulsing in your ears and the edges of your vision were going dark.

You kept your legs moving, not daring to look back and see if you were still being pursued.

You emerged from the trees to a dirt path, gasping for breath.

A man with a dog turned and gasped at the sight of you.

You staggered to him and gripped his clothes as you slid to your knees.

With your last breath of consciousness you choked out the words, ‘Call him.’

Then the world turned black.

***

The motel room was quiet. Dean sat with his feet up, ankles crossed on the table as he cleaned his gun. He focussed on his steady fingers working the cloth into the grooves of the cool metal. He tried not to think about Lisa and Ben. It was easier said than done. He couldn’t stop wondering if he should have let Cas remove them from his memory too. The thought made his stomach lurch.

He felt his phone buzz against his thigh before his ringtone began to sound, cutting through the heavy silence.

He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. Unrecognised.

‘Hello?’ He answered cautiously.

‘Is that Dean?’ The voice on the other end said.

Dean narrowed his eyes.

‘Depends who’s asking.’

'It’s just… I’m… look, there’s a girl. She’s been attacked, she’s covered in blood and she collapsed right in front of me. Your name and number are scrawled across her hand. I figured you’d wanna know.’

Dean hesitated.

'My name and number? Wait a minute, this girl. Who is she?’

'I dunno. Dark hair, maybe in her twenties?’

Dean racked his brains. Didn’t sound like Clair.

'She’s in the ambulance now. They’re taking her to hospital. Look, man. I dunno what’s going on, but I just thought you should know. I’ve called you. I’m done.’

'Wait wait wait,’ dean garbled. 'Which hospital? What attacked her?’

There was a click and three beeps.

Dean ran his hand through his hair.

Why would some random girl have his name and number on her hand?

His phone buzzed and he opened a text message. It contained the name of a hospital about an hour’s drive away.

He shoved it back in his pocket and replaced the loaded chamber of his gun.

'Sammy!’ He called. 'Think I might have a case. You comin’?’

***

The blackness swirled around your mind. It was peaceful and empty. Still, you couldn’t fight the nagging feeling buried somewhere deep beneath the fog. This wasn’t over and you had to fight.

Somewhere far-off, in the distance that existed outside your consciousness, a steady beep pulsed and threaded through your coalescing thoughts.

The scene unfolded in your dreaming mind, clouded by a haze of regret. Was this where it had all gone wrong?

You had spotted him almost instantly across the crowded bar. Head in his hand, slouched over a grimy table on his own and nursing a glass of amber liquid you assumed was whiskey. Empty glasses littered the table.

You sat down heavily across from him.

'Something on your mind?’ You asked.

He took a sharp intake of breath and his shoulders tensed.

'Why don’t you mind your-’

He stopped when he looked up at you. His eyes travelled over you and he frowned.

'You are definitely not old enough to be hanging out in a shit hole like this.’ His speech was a little slurred, but not as much as you would expect considering all the glasses.

'Well, clearly no-one cares enough to throw me out,’ you retorted, looking around at the few scattered drunks and bored-looking bartender.

Dean sighed heavily and turned his attention back to his drink.

'Anyway, I’m not here for the liquor. I’m here for you.’

You fixed your eyes on him, trying to get a read on him.

You had been told he was the best man for the job. You had been told about the Great Dean Winchester who had clawed his way back from the dead and would jump at the chance for a case.

As you eyed him, you wondered if this was the right Dean Winchester.

'Look, sweetheart. Firstly, you can’t be more than, what, seventeen? And secondly, I’m- ’

'Oh for fucks sake, I’m not hitting on you. Why is that always the first thought?’ You rolled your eyes.

He looked back up at you and narrowed his eyes.

'Just cut the crap. I don’t want whatever you’re selling. Just fuck off.’

He drained the rest of his glass and stood up, heading back towards the bar.

This was bullshit. Hero stories were always full of crap. If you hadn’t been so desperate, you would’ve left him to drown his sorrows and moved on.

But you were desperate.

You gave it a few minutes, watching him from where you were. He ordered another drink and checked his phone.

… 'my brother died.’ You said simply, sitting down next to him again.

'Yeah? So did mine. That s'posed to make us besties? I told you, back off alright?’

You blinked at him.

Nobody had told you Dean Winchester was an asshole.

'Look,’ he said, softening ever so slightly. 'I’m sorry for your loss, but I can’t help you.’

His callous disregard got you fired up. 'You don’t know what I want yet,’ you said through gritted teeth.

'Not interested,’ he added, turning away from you and draining his glass.

Your fist clenched against the bar.

'He was killed by some kind of monster. They told me it was a bear but I saw it. He was all I had left. I’ve been looking for you for months.’

The words hung in the air and you thought maybe now he would at least show some humanity.

Dean sighed heavily.

'You wasted your time, princess. If I buy you a drink will you go away?’

You only stared.

'You are Dean Winchester, right? Notorious supernatural hunter?’

'Dunno what you’re talking about, sweetheart. I’m a mechanic. And you’re clearly crazy.’

He caught the bartender’s attention and held his glass up, indicating two fingers.

'Why are you being like this? I was told you would jump at a case.’

'You were told wrong. I’m a family man and I look out for me and mine. That’s it. So unless you got a car you need fixin’, leave me the hell alone.’

The bartender placed two shots of whiskey down between them with a clink.

Dean pulled one towards him and pushed the other across the bar to you.

'Drink and then go. We’re done here.’

You exhaled roughly. 'You know, for a family man you sure are an asshole,’ you said. 'I’m sorry I wasted my fucking time.’ You pushed the whiskey back towards him and walked away.

***

Dean stood at the door of the hospital room leaning against the door jamb.

His throat had tightened up and he found himself frozen.

'Do you recognise her?’ Sam asked behind him.

Dean couldn’t answer. If he did he was afraid Sam would hear the crack in his voice.

Seeing you lying there with wires sticking out of you had caught him off guard.

You hadn’t changed much, except you looked older. Thinner, maybe.

He remembered the first time he had met you.

Fuck, he had been an asshole. Broken, lost in his life and tired of the monotony of how things had panned out; but still an asshole. There was no excuse to have treated you that way.

The beep of the heart rate monitor gave a steady pulse, cutting through the silence.

He had thought about you later that night, when he couldn’t sleep.

To his shame, he thought firstly about the pull of a case.

He loved Lisa, he really did. And he loved Ben like he was his own. He had always dreamed of this apple pie life.

But it had never been an acceptable pay-off for losing Sam.

He had sworn off doing cases, keeping the danger away.

But what put him off most about taking the case was you.

His heart had sunk when he looked up and saw this young girl looking back at him. He knew from the way you approached it would be about a case. You said yourself you weren’t interested in the liquor.

He had thought about himself at that age, already elbows-deep in the blood of the supernatural, raised in tragedy and nurtured by pain with no other future in line for him.

If he knew anything about you in that moment, he knew you could have a better life than he had. There was still a degree of innocence in your eyes; The kind of innocence he saw in Ben’s eyes. The world needed more innocence.

He told himself that’s why he had been so dismissive and played dumb. He told himself he had wanted to put you off the whole hunting thing and deal with your brother’s death in a healthy, normal way.

Not that he knew anything at all about that.

So at first he had thought it was his conscience playing tricks on him when he looked out of the window and saw you stood in his front yard in the dark.

He met your eyes and realised you were not a mirage.

He rolled his eyes and dragged himself up. He glanced up the stairs and listened for any signs of stirring, but there was only quiet.

If you were coming to his house now, he had to deal with this.

He closed the front door carefully, then stormed towards you.

'Not ok. Not at all. I told you, back the hell off.’

'You’re a hunter,’ you said, standing firm. Your arms were folded across your chest. 'You’re lying to yourself.’

'Don’t-’ he started, but you cut in.

'Do you really think that hiding behind this family man bullshit is gonna keep the monsters at bay? Does the supernatural world stop because you decided it should?’

He now stood about a foot away from you, trying to intimidate you into leaving.

'Don’t you dare tell me what you think I should be. You don’t know me. You’re trespassing. Get off my yard.’

'Why won’t you help me? Is there not even a shred of compassion left in that stone cold heart? I thought you might understand because you lost your brother too.’

'Do not talk about my brother.’

'Please,’ you said, not hiding the desperation in your voice. 'I know I can’t bring him back. All I’m asking for is your help. Anything.’

You unfolded your arms and took hold of his arm. He towered over you.

He regarded you for a moment, then rubbed his hand over his face. He stepped back and half turned, glancing back at the house warily.

He turned back to you.

'Look, kid. You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Choose a better life than I had and stay away from all this crap. Like you said, it won’t bring him back.’

'You’re full of shit, Dean,’ you spat at him. He shook you off his arm.

'You’re making this really fucking difficult,’ he answered through gritted teeth. 'How the hell did you find me, anyway?’

You shrugged. ‘And yeah I’m making it difficult because I want you to snap the fuck out of this fairytale idea that nothing bad happens anymore. People need you, Dean. I need you.’

'Kid, I don’t even know you. But you can be more than this. Your brother died and it sucks. But you have a choice to live out your life. When I was your age… I never had a choice.’

'And yet here you are, with a wife and kid regardless.’

'Ok, she’s not my wife. And he’s not my kid. And so long as my brother is burning in Hell, I’ll never be out. Not really.’

As if realising what he had just said, he glanced back at the house again.

He lowered his voice. 'I love her, and I love him like he was my own, but we’re just making the best out of this. But you? You could have it all. You have a choice.’

'Even so, I still choose to hunt down this bastard. And it’s my choice to make. This is my brother! He is the fucking world to me, how can you not understand that?’

You were shouting again.

'Keep your damn voice down,’ Dean snapped at you. 'This is a nice neighbourhood and people are sleeping.’

'Well while people are sleeping peacefully, monsters roam the night. And here you are, telling me to let it go. You’re full of shit,’ you repeated.

'Maybe I am,’ he said. 'But it ain’t got shit to do with you. For the last time, I am not gonna help you. You need to leave.’

When you didn’t move, he wrapped his large hand around your wrist and yanked you. You stumbled and moved with him, your legs scrambling to carry you as he dragged you away from his house.

'Dean,’ you pleaded.

He let you go and pointed out into the street.

'Go. Before I go get my gun.’

You cradled your wrist where he had grabbed you and looked up at him with disbelief.

'You really have snapped, haven’t you. Your brother’s death really messed you up didn’t it?’

'Go!’ He shouted.

'You’re broken.’

'If I ever see you again you’ll be fucking sorry.’

He had turned and stormed back to the house. And you had left.

And he had never seen you again.

Until now.

***

He sat down gingerly by the bed. He regarded you for a long moment.

'Dean?’ Sam said behind him.

'Yeah. Yeah I recognise her,’ Dean answered finally, defeat shaking his voice.

He ran his hand over his face, perhaps a subconscious effort to replace the mask that had shifted temporarily.

Sam saw straight through it.

His voice softened. 'Who is she Dean?’

He inhaled deeply, watching your chest rise and fall.

'She’s someone I should have helped a long time ago. But I didn’t. And now…’ he indicated the hospital bed and your current predicament.

Sam nodded. But he didn’t dwell.

'So do we know what we’re dealing with?’

Dean inhaled, gathering himself to focus.

‘Werewolf.’ His voice was gruff and short. ‘Pretty sure. Which makes this whole thing worse.’

Sam cocked his head in question.

‘A fucking werewolf, Sammy. I coulda given her silver bullets. That’s all she needed. Silver fucking bullets.’

Sam ran his hand through his hair. ‘Ok. Well, we’re here now. What do we know about this werewolf? Is there a pack? I didn’t have time to research thoroughly, but all I found was a report of one body showing up. Animal attack they say, but when is an animal attack ever an animal attack?’

Dean huffed a humourless laugh.

‘Did she say anything back when… when you knew her? Do we know who this thing is?’

Dean shook his head. 'Not unless she wakes up.’

Sam huffed out a sigh. He closed the door and came to the other side of the bed.

‘She got away, so she knew something about what she was dealing with,’ he said.

Dean folded back the cover carefully, examining the dressing on your wound. He noticed several other claw marks on your arms.

‘This isn’t her home town. She tracked it here.’

‘Ok. So this is likely not a newborn then?’ Sam mused.

‘Exactly. And he’s being careful, which means he’s self-aware. But not above killing folk.’

‘Which means-’

‘Which means silver bullets,’ Dean cut in. ‘Let the bullets fly.’

He narrowed his eyes, focussing on the one thing he knew how to do; killing a monster.

Sam cleared his throat. ‘Dean, I mean… do you wanna sit this one out? I’m sure I could-’

‘What are you nuts? I wanna gank this thing. Fuck, I owe her that much.’

‘Ok, but I mean… you’re dealing with a lot right now. It would be perfectly fine if you-’

‘No, Sam. Fuck, do you even know me at all? My whole life, my drive – it came from pain. Pain is what keeps me focussed and it’s what keeps me fighting, so let those fucking silver bullets rain.’

Before Sam could respond, his phone began to ring. He checked it.

‘Sherriff,’ he said simply and left the room as he answered the call.

Dean felt his demeanour crumble now that Sam wasn’t there. He sank into the seat by your bed, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his head in his hands.

The steady beep of the heart monitor was slow compared to the pounding in his own chest.

He made himself look up at you again, regarding your peaceful face as though he was staring down his own mistakes.

Your life could have been better, he realised, if he had just helped you. Killed the damn werewolf and then you could have moved on. Instead you had tracked this werewolf unequipped for God knows how many years, probably from town to town. Perhaps this was the first time you had confronted it, he thought.

And you had been so desperate, you turned back to him – the pathetic, angry drunk who had dragged you off his yard all those years ago.

And where had it got him? He was left here yet again in the only life h knew, the pain of what he had sacrificed making him believe in some greater purpose he could never quite pin down. But it was where he belonged. He should have known that.

The heart monitor started screaming and you gasped, making Dean jump up and move closer to your side.

You blinked, looking around the room to try and make sense of where you were. When the first face you saw was his, you filled with relief. His green eyes watched you intently.

‘Hey, hey it’s ok. I’m here. You’re ok,’ he said. He took your hand as you reached out for him.

Your eyes took in the freckles across his nose and the dark shadows under his eyes. If it was possible, he looked even more broken than before. And yet somehow more focussed.

You never thought you would see that face again, except when it plagued your dreams; the man who had left you alone to fend for yourself in a world you had no idea how to navigate.

You were mad at him. His abandonment and dismissal had shaped much of how determined you were. That and the loss of your brother were your drive.

But right now, his face was the only one you wanted to see. If he was as good as the stories said, this Werewolf should be nothing for him to kill. The end was finally in sight. There was light at the end of a long, traumatic tunnel.

‘Dean,’ you choked out. ‘You came.’

‘Yeah. It took me long enough.’ He still held your hand in his. His grip was soft and much gentler than your last encounter with him.

You sighed and smiled, the relief flooding you once again.

‘We’re gonna get this son of a bitch, ok?’ he said, his voice low and gravelly.

The door pushed open and you both looked up.

‘So I think I might have an idea where…’ Sam started as he walked in, then stopped when he saw you were awake. ‘She’s awake. You’re awake. Hi, I’m Sam,’ he added.

You felt a knot tighten in your stomach and you weren’t sure what emotion it conveyed. You looked to Dean.

‘Sam?’

‘Yeah. He’s uh… he’s back, I guess. Long, weird story.’

You couldn’t talk right away while you processed how that was even possible. So Sam was back from the dead? And Dean was sat here now, after all these years, ready to help because his family was complete again?

You clenched your jaw. Jealousy. That was what you were feeling. You tried to shake it off. This was a good thing. You should be happy for him.

‘You must be very happy,’ you said, trying not to let your voice shake.

Dean let go of your hand and scoffed. ‘Happy? With his whining and farting? Sick of him already.’

‘Thanks, Dean,’ Sam said bitterly.

But you noticed the glimmer of sadness that remained in Dean’s eyes even as he joked.

‘I think I may know where this werewolf is hiding out,’ Sam said, sweeping the conversation on.

Your eyes lingered on Dean a little longer. He looked at the floor.

Maybe he was someone who was destined to be unhappy. He had his brother back. The person he loved most in the world had died and left him heartbroken, now he was here as you lived and breathed. What else could… and then it struck you.

The wife and kid.

You realised nobody was talking and both brothers were looking at you.

You cleared your throat. ‘What? Sorry. I’m still kind of waking up.’

Sam ran his hand through his hair. ‘Sorry. How are you feeling?’

‘Confused. Exhausted. How did you… but you died?’

‘Oh right. That.’ Sam looked to Dean. Dean shrugged. ‘Friends in high places, I guess,’ Sam said, looking at the floor so his hair fell over his face. There was a little shame in those eyes, you thought.

‘You gonna explain?’

Sam hesitated, but Dean jumped in.

‘Look, we’re buddies with an angel. Yeah it’s weird. Welcome to huntin’, sweetheart.’

He ran his hand through his hair attempting to act nonchalant, but you couldn’t ignore the weird look the brothers exchanged. Because they knew what you were thinking.

‘What else can you tell us about this werewolf?’ Sam said, before you could dwell any further on his return from the dead.

You sighed. You were wasting time already, so you pushed the rest aside for now.

As you filled them in on the last few years of experience, they seemed to absorb it all as though it was commonplace. The way they discussed the details and formed a plan in less than twenty minutes showed you just how good they were as a team; how close they were and in tune with each other, even if they did bicker over some of the finer details.

And you slowly began to understand the level of pain that Dean had to have been in when you had first met him.

But even now, there seemed to be trouble in paradise.

‘Dean, are you sure? What we talked about before – I can do this if you wanna stay here with her. You’ve been through-’

‘Dammit Sam!’ Dean snapped. The anger that erupted had clearly been building over some time. ‘I told you, I’m gonna kill this fucker. Stop tryna over complicate this.’

Sam threw his arms up. ‘I’m just tryna help,’ he said and stormed out.

‘I’m not sitting this out,’ you said. ‘I’ve worked too hard-’

‘What did you say?’ Dean cut in. ‘You think you’re gonna come along on a hunt with your guts sliced open?’ He shook his head. ‘You’re staying right here. Let us handle this.’

‘Dean, I-’

‘No. I let you down once before. I’m not gonna let you throw your life away again. It ain’t happenin’. This is my fault. I’ll take care of it.’

He was doing it again. He was trying to tell you what was best for you even after having left you out in the cold with nothing but your pain to believe in. For so many years he had been absent. He had been the echo of the hope you once had at freedom.

He had been the almost-father-figure who failed you.

‘You’re damn right, it’s your fault! Why the fuck wouldn’t you just help me? I was alone. I had NOTHING. I had no-one. But you had your perfect little family and I was such an inconvenience.’

‘Don’t talk about them,’ he snapped. ‘Don’t fucking talk about them, not now.’

You looked at him mouth agape.

‘Are we really doing this again? Don’t you ever fucking learn? There is more to the world than just you and your family.’

Green eyes shot daggers through you. ‘That’s rich coming from you.’ He paused, shaking his head. ‘I’m done. You’re staying here, end of discussion.’

He began to walk to the door.

‘Dean. You can’t just walk away every time a situation gets tough. You can’t just up and leave and never deal with it.’

He turned back to you. ‘And what the fuck do you know? Sometimes walking away is the best thing for everybody! Sometimes the only way to keep people safe is to walk away!’ he shouted.

Silence hung in the air between you. You realised you had hit a nerve. This had got out of hand.

You tried to soften your voice. ‘Dean, something happened, I can tell.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever has broken your heart, know that I’m here to listen.’

He scoffed. ‘Broken my… broken my heart?’ he said incredulously, his voice raising. ‘We’re hunters. We don’t get time for a broken heart. Yeah sure, I’m broken. Maybe I always have been. I was broken from a young age. Bad stuff happens. You lose people. But the bad stuff keeps comin’, so you gotta keep fighting. That’s all I know.’

‘Except when you have a wife and kid,’ you said and instantly regretted it. He slammed his fist into the wall behind him. You thought he might yell at you again but instead he just looked at you, emerald eyes so full of pain it hurt you to look at. His lip trembled ever so slightly.

After a long moment, he ran his hand over his face and sat down. ‘They’re gone.’

‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

He shook his head. ‘I mean they’re alive. Just better off thinking they never met me.’

‘You left?’

He shook his head again. ‘They were kidnapped by demons. We got them out, but I realised they would never be safe while they were with me. Their memories were wiped. You don’t get out of this life. You don’t get to throw in the towel and settle down. You were right and I should have… I should have fucking listened.’

You shuffled closer to him, wincing at the pain in your gut but pushing through it. You rested your hand on his shoulder.

You tried to think of something comforting to say, but couldn’t.

‘You should have,’ you said instead.

He looked up at you, disbelief in his eyes. But then he smiled and shook his head.

‘Dammit,’ he said softly. He ran his hand through his hair.

‘Look,’ he said after a long silence. ‘I can’t bring your brother back. I can’t bring back all those years I could have saved you from. What I can do is kill this motherfucker. Will you let me do that for you?’

You sighed. ‘What about the angel?’

‘What?’

‘You say you can’t bring him back. What about the angel? He brought Sam back, right?’

‘Yeah, but it was messy. Really fucking messy and Sam might never recover from what he went through, not really.’

‘Ok, but my brother didn’t die dragging Lucifer back to Hell.’

Dean shook his head. ‘It’s been years. Maybe it’s time to accept it and move on.’

‘Oh fuck off. Did you move on? How did that fucking go? Oh yeah, that’s right. You got your brother back from the dead. So don’t fucking lecture me about moving on,’ you snapped.

Dean had no answer for you.

Right on cue, Sam re-entered the room with a coffee in his hand.

‘Dean, we need to go. The window is closing and soon it will be too late to get him. This guy likes to move towns, like she said.’ He nodded to you.

Dean looked from Sam back to you and held your eyes in his for a long moment.

He blinked, then stood up.

‘Ok Sammy, but just one last thing before we go.’

He glanced back to you, the look in his eyes saying this was a bad idea.

‘Castiel,’ he said. Your heart pounded. Was he really calling the angel? ‘Cas, I need a favour.’

He looked around the room expectantly, avoiding Sam’s confused gaze.

‘Dammit, Cas! Get your feathery ass down here. You sure as hell owe me one, and a big one-’

There was a flap of wings and a whoosh of air and a dark-haired man in a trenchcoat appeared the other side of your bed.

He fixed his blue eyes on Dean.

‘What’s this about Dean?’ He looked around, noticing you were in a hospital. ‘Does someone need healing?’ His eyes settled on you.

Without prompting, he moved to the side of your bed. Wordlessly, he touched two fingers to your forehead and you instantly felt a surge of power tingle through your body. The wound in your gut burned and then disappeared altogether.

You stared up at him. His face was set and he looked to Dean.

‘Is that all? I’m actually busy, Dean.’

Dean nodded once.

‘Thanks, Cas.’

The angel disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.

Panic began to pound in your chest.

‘No, come back!’ You turned to Dean, grabbing hold of his arm. ‘Bring him back!’ you shouted.

Dean tightened his fingers around your wrist, squeezing reassurance.

‘That was never gonna happen, and you knew that. You’ve always known that. You need to be ok with it.’

‘No!’ you shouted, but your voice got trapped in your throat as the realisation flooded through you. ‘No,’ you choked out again as your body convulsed with sobs.

Dean pulled you against his chest and held you more tightly than was comfortable, but it felt safe as you let yourself fall apart in his arms.

‘He’s better off up there than down here, trust me,’ he said softly.

He held you for a long time in silence.

Eventually, he let go and pulled back.

Dean placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Sam nodded understanding.

Dean looked to you.

‘You need to get ready sweetheart. We’ll give you some time. Get your clothes on.’

‘What?’ You puzzled.

‘You’re all healed up now.’

He paused, looking around the room. His eyes settled on your jeans on the side. He shrugged off his checked overshirt and handed it to you.

‘Here, you can wear this. I guess your t-shirt had a big bloody rip in it.’

‘But you said…’ you started, tears filling your eyes.

‘You need closure. I get it. So you’re gonna come with us, and you’re gonna shoot this bastard in the face. And then you’re gonna move on with your life and be happy.’ He fixed his eyes on yours. ‘You’re the face of the future.’

You looked down at the shirt in your hands, then back up at the two brothers.

‘Come on,’ Dean continued. ‘We’re going hunting.’

***

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[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… I Love Dick (S01E02) The Conceptual Fuck Airdate: May 12, 2017 @amazonvideo Ratings: @amazon streaming only Score: 8.25/10

***********SPOILERS BELOW**********

Just like the first episode of ‘I Love Dick’, the second is over in a flash. It happens so quickly, so ferociously fast, with these seemingly large events that have a heavy significance on these characters, that they are almost too fast to catch. There’s irony in there somewhere because I can see someone easily professing that not much is happening, but in its characterization so much is transpiring I can almost feel my neck break from the whiplash. The episode opens with who I am assuming to be the two head honchos of the Venice Film Festival where Chris’ film had to be pulled because of music rights. They are attempting to watch the film and it looks straight up awful. It’s a lot like the French-Belgian film referenced in this very episode, Chantal Akerman’s 1974 black and white, supposedly charged with raw feminism ‘Je, Tu, Il, Elle’, just without any kind of hypnotic beat, sensuality, or weird lesbian sex scene where two women wrestle around in the bed, looking like an early WWF Women’s Wrestling Match during Post-Attitude Era when women with actual talent and showmanship were actually in the ring. Sorry, I have really weird, repressed, mixed feelings towards that film. Anyway, the two Italian Men toss it because they can’t take it anymore and then we cut back to Marfa, TX. Prepare for lots of cuts, I am very well aware of the presence of editors Julie Cohen & Christal Khatib.

Again there are some really strange, very human moments in this episode. I personally haven’t read the book, but my bestie in Brooklyn raves about it, even calling it her favorite. I keep going back to three big moments in the episode and I’m running them through my mind trying to figure out where these people are coming from. The first is when Chris shows up and interrupts Dick’s seminar, much to the chagrin of Sylvere, who believes that Chris attempting to attend Dick’s seminar is crossing a line in their fantasy that he’s just not comfortable with. Chris could give two shits, obviously this isn’t really a two way street, and shows up anyway… Later lying to Sylvere about being able to get in, claiming that it was full.

She brings a laptop with her terrible film on it and she’s literally a hot mess, once again a possible reference to 'Je, Tu, Il, Elle’… Her phone goes off, she’s bumbling all over the place, Dick dismisses his class and watches a few seconds of her horrible, horrible film and she legit, *and I can’t get over it*, but she legit strokes his head as he’s bent over watching the film. The gesture, the moment, his response to immediately shut the laptop and tells Chris, 'Its not my thing,’ It all sent me into a sort-of paralyzing shock. WTF just happened? Chris freaks out and points out that he hasn’t made art in 7 years and that brick he had set out as an art piece wasn’t art at all… To which he affirmed his love for straight lines. The rich metaphor isn’t lost on me, I died laughing and am chuckling as I’m writing this but I think it’s a combination of that comment and everything that happened so fast in that scene. My love for it increases with repeat views.

Meanwhile, Sylvere is having his own awkward encounters with the woman he met in the first episode, Toby (India Menuez)… This one I had to watch twice as well. Both Sylvere and Chris might have reinvigorated their sex life with this weird sexual fantasy about the mysterious, straight line loving 'Dick’, but they are tanking in the Marfa social scene. Sylvere questions Toby’s taste in art, finding out that her project is about 'looking at hardcore porn without judgement’, and verbatim, 'So I reduce it to its shapes.’ He takes the judgement further and calls her a child and asks her why she’s obsessed with porn, then reduces her to her beauty. The ironic and stunningly ignorant comment is met with the long pause from Toby, striking facial emotional-responding realization and then she simply tells Sylvere, 'You’re awful.’ And again the scene cuts fast, it’s almost dizzying, like I don’t have time to react. The cut is to a red screen with Chris’ words appearing large in and in charge on the screen, 'Dear Dick, I will not be muzzled.’ Only later when I’m sorting out my feelings on the episode, I find myself laughing at the quick edits, and just slightly tonally jarring direction led by the great Kimberly Pierce (a woman who literally burst on to the scene in '99 with the Oscar Winning 'Boys Don’t Cry’). I don’t even know what to think.

Chris returns home after her disastrous meeting with Dick, finding Devon (Roberta Colindrez) installing a water heater or some sort of handy-woman work (see what I did there?), and after the initial shock that someone is in her house, Chris goes right to ranting. Asking her if she knows who the director Maya Deren is, saying that Maya is supposed to be the most important female director of all time. Devon replies No, which I’m guessing most people wouldn’t know her either. Deren was big in the way Indy Bands are big now, but in the 40’s. I know film pretty well, but Meren is mainly a mystery, and while I’m familiar with a lot of films in the 50’s, they are more of Monster Movie in taste (I love classic, iconic trash 50’s cinema, like 'The Blob’, 'Alligator Man’, 'Them’). Trancey, experimental avant-garde types… No the 40’s would be far too early for me to consume that type of genre, despite its cultural importance.

It’s just hilarious to me to see Chris go on and on about how she likes mainstream directors and hates Sofia Coppola, who I’ve always loved btw… Chris cites Sofia’s 'perfect chestnuts highlights’ as another reason she hates her, 'Ooh, hey, how’d you get that brunette? A lotta money!’ I’m literally dead. 😂 Devon starts to follow her around, she’s literally mesmerized by Chris’ unhinged rant. Chris is now just asking rhetorical questions and ranting on as Devon almost salivates at Chris’ crazy as a pure inhibited spectator, 'It is a wonder that any woman could think of herself as an artist.’ Devon actually responds here… 'Uhm, I’m an artist too, so…’ Chris barely recognizes she spoke, muttering back, 'Oh, I didn’t realize’, like that has any bearing on the conversation that could’ve blossomed from there. I’m usually pretty empathetic but if I wasn’t laughing so hard from her rant and the Sofia Coppola comments, who once again I’ve always been fond of, I probably would have reached through the tv and pulled Chris’ hair a bit. I wonder what kind of rant Chris would produce about the cultural cancer of Oxygen’s 'Bad Girls Club’. In a perfect world, there would be an extra scene that Amazon would allow subscribers to see an outtake of this very scenario.

I guess Chris’ interaction with Dick is so jarring that she starts to rip down all the letters she wrote to Dick from the lines strung across her bedroom. And it appears Chris’ visit to Dick’s class was so jarring we see him sitting on his porch staring intently into the Great wide Texan open, clearly annunciating her name in full, 'Chris Kraus’. The editing is fantastic in these final moments (tho to be fair it’s great the whole way through). We see Devon shirtless, confidently writing as if a lightbulb is literally shining bright above her head. Sylvere somberly mopes back through town to his home. This is when we cut to 'Je, Tu, Il, Elle’ where the protagonist speaks about taking everything she had written and spreading it out, then just laying in bed. Cut to Chris laying in bed looking up at the empty wire dawned with clothespins that once held all the letters to Dick, the same letters that had Sylvere and Chris fucking like they had just met each other. Sylvere walks in professing that he hates the town and tries to sit next to Chris and touch her, but without the letters there is no longer warmth and a red pulsing glow in their bedroom. She jerks away from him and claims her 'skin is tight’. Yeesh.

Suki & Geoff arrive at Devon’s trailer and she reveals what she was fervently writing about… A play… About a couple from New York… A woman… She wants to 'become somebody’… 'But she hates herself’… Another quick cut, God I’m in love with these editors… Chris is packing up all her letters to Dick. Cut to Dick who sees a snake, slithering in the very opposite manner of the straight lines he claims to love so much. He arranges multiple rocks in the shape of the slithering, wavy snake and runs along side of them. Is this Dick beginning to let go of his rigid nature? Cut back to Chris who is walking into Dick Jarrett’s office and drops off a box containing all the letters she had written Dick, and so passionately made love to her husband under. The box is tied with a single ribbon, and there’s a dead moth at one corner of the box with a card… 'To: Dick Jarrett / From: Chris Kraus’… Cut to RED. That’s the perfect color alright.