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#he’s truly The golden retriever
thedeathdeelers · 8 months
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me anytime eun-ho shows up on-screen: ….oh bud
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dearherondale · 2 months
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Following the big news about the weekly chapters of KoWT, I'll leave over here that, if after all the foreshadowing of Kaladin getting a happy ending ("you will be warm again" and all that shit), if after all of that he dies, I will sue Mr Sanderson.
Usually I dont mind if my favorite characters die at the end of the series for narrative purposes but I REALLY need kaladin as a side character for the second SA arc.
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I feel like some people putting Phineas MidstPodcast into the "nervous golden retriever from the shelter" box did significant damage to the way he's seen and thought of and talked about in portions of the fandom.
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shannonsketches · 4 months
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
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it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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softquietsteadylove · 9 months
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The tiny cellar. The door slamming shut. The darkness. Gils claustrophobia. The DRAMA!
For the wildfire one please! ❤️
"Someone! Anyone, please!!"
Thena walked a little more briskly. It had reached her ears so quietly and muffled at first, but there was no mistaking it now. Someone needed help. "Hello?"
"Please, help me!"
She picked her pace up to a light jog, the scenery looking much more familiar now. She kept telling herself she wasn't coming back to Gil's cabin - again - she was just...in the area. Her perimeter routes had changed, that was all.
It wasn't that she missed the place, or the host.
"Someone!"
"Gil?" she called out, looking around for him. She couldn't figure out for the life of her where he was. She walked around the side of the cabin, but he wasn't by the wood pile, or chopping out front. He didn't seem to be inside, based on how she was hearing him.
"Please!"
"Gil, are you okay?!" she shouted back, her heart starting to beat faster. What the hell had happened to him? "Gil!"
"Help!!"
"Gilgamesh!" Thena ran around the other side of the house. There wasn't much over there except the storm cellar door and where the water connection was. He had showed her the water main so that she could help herself to the shower in case he was away and had shut it off.
The doors rattled, being pounded on from the inside.
"Please, please, please!"
"Gil!" Thena shouted back, rushing to pull them open. They weren't locked, but the wood had warped over the course of winter, and now were wedged together in just such a way that made them seem impossible to get open now that they were slotted together.
"Thena, please!"
She slammed her foot on one door and pulled on the other one, stumbling back as it finally cracked open. If she didn't know him so well, it might have been terrifying, seeing someone as large as Gil come tearing up and out of the cellar in that state.
"Thena!"
She tried not to fall over as Gil sank to his knees, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his face into her stomach. He was bawling like a baby, clearly having been hyperventilating in the cellar by himself. She huffed. "Gil."
"Thena, oh thank god, fuck, I-I thought-"
Thena tried a few times to try and pat his head - or something - without feeling weird about it. He was clinging to her like he'd faced down his worst nightmare, which perhaps he had. He wasn't being dramatic, or his big, sensitive self. He wasn't well. "It's okay, Gil."
He screamed into the material of her shirt, his whole body quaking. He was such a bear of a man but he truly seemed fragile, on the verge of crumbling. "I can't...I can't..."
Thena finally gave in, letting her hands fall over him as gently as she could manage. He flinched, and it only made her feel worse for him. But she rubbed his shoulder, ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm here, Gil. You're okay."
He took slower breaths, steadier with each slow inhale. He slowly sank lower until he couldn't even hold onto her anymore, seemingly ready to lie down on the forest floor.
"Gil, hey," she said gently, trying to have more than her usual charisma (lack thereof) with him. She knelt with him, holding his shoulders and making him look at her. "What happened?"
He groaned, his throat raw from screaming for however long he'd been in there. "I-I was checking on some stuff in the cellar. I always have the doors wide open, but they must have gotten blown over, or maybe something wandered by and closed them--I-I dunno."
"Okay," she nearly whispered, nodding and watching him closely. His eyes were bloodshot from crying, but his pupils were responsive. He was no longer gasping for air, his chest no longer heaving. She wouldn't be surprised if he was lightheaded. "It's over now."
He groaned again, rubbing his face. "Ugh, Thena...I'm sorry."
He was apologising?
"I didn't mean to freak out and," he blushed, typical Gil, "throw myself at you like that."
She tilted her head at him, and he looked truly ashamed and remorseful. "You never told me you're claustrophobic."
He shook his head, ruffling his own hair now. He looked like he'd been through hell. "Doesn't come up much, I guess. I don't exactly get put on cave duty that often."
Thena furrowed her brows. She would think that if his phobia was this severe that he wouldn't be put on cave search duty to begin with.
"Thanks for rescuing me," he smiled limply at her as she rocked back on her heels and flopped back on her butt across from him. "Sorry you had to come all this way to do it."
"I was," she shrugged, hoping she seemed casual, "passing by."
Whether he believed her or not, he chuckled and nodded, "well, you really saved me, so..."
Thena sighed, keeping an eye on him. It didn't feel right to just...leave him like this. She inhaled, poking him in the shoulder, "okay, hey, c'mon, get up."
He blinked at her as she pulled herself up and dusted off her grey jeans. "R-Right, you must have to-"
"Get inside, I'll make your disgusting leaf water for you." As soon as she said it she wondered if maybe she could see why she was known as a 'stone cold bitch' at the station.
Gil brightened like a dog being offered a treat. He looked up at her with those big brown eyes of his, "really?"
She turned away from him; he acted like she had asked him to marry her! All she offered was to make him some tea! "Today, Gilgamesh, before I change my mind!"
Maybe she could be a little nicer to the man whose life had flashed before his eyes in his own storm cellar.
But Gil picked himself up, hopping to fall in step beside her. He nudged her shoulder gently with his, "thanks."
She bit the inside of her cheek. He was making such a big deal about it. "Thank me if I make it right."
But even now, her growling did nothing to dissuade him from inviting her in. If anything, when she whipped the door open and stepped in ahead of him, he held the door open over her shoulder. Such a little gentleman (she rolled her eyes).
"Gil," she started while on her way to the kitchen.
"Yeah?" he asked, already kicking off his boots in favour of his sandals.
She lingered by the doorway between the kitchen and the main body of the cabin. "Next time you need something in that cellar...just call me."
"Huh?"
She resisted the urge to press her forehead to the fridge door, feeling her face growing warm. "Just wait for me and I'll do it for you! You don't have to go down there again, is what I'm saying."
She continued on her way, digging out the kind of tea that was his favourite. She didn't know what kind it was, but she supposed she had smelled worse teas. And she knew how to put the kettle on. Maybe she would make herself a single mug of instant coffee with the boiling water while she was here.
"Thanks, Thena."
He was probably smiling that dumb smile that was kind of endearing. And she refused to go out there if he was going to catch her looking flustered over it. He could wait for his stupid leaf water.
This was why she was off search and rescue. Saving just one person made it feel worthwhile to do it again and again.
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faunandfloraas · 8 months
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Honestly a fun thing about going all the way through a kpop groups catalogue and seeing all the hair colours they've had over the years is seeing which colours certain members end up going back to again and again, it's cute.
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herbofgraceandpeace · 1 month
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not sure my boss knows how to handle that I am. anxious. at all times? So. There’s that
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can't stop tearing up every time I hear "but I've seen this episode and still love the show." something about this metaphor being used to describe loving someone who is self destructive breaks me. like a beloved tv show with some bad episodes, she can't stop seeing this person as greater than the sum of their parts. and yet, the use of the word episode and it's association with mental health struggles implies this is a common occurrence for this person. within the context of this persons self destructive tendencies, the "who's gonna hold you like me?" has a tinge of concern to it. taylor's worried for the person being able to keep it together in the event that the relationship ends. people are so busy making fun of the "seven bars of chocolate" or "tattooed golden retriever" lines that they are completely missing out on the painful beauty of the song
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seiwas · 1 year
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𝐓𝐎: @crysugu
𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌: @soumies @shotorus
𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗 (𝟏): 𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬! 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲. ఌ
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loneliness-of-spring · 10 months
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HIHHIHIHI OKAY SO I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH THE IKEREV ZERO TAG AND I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR DOODLES FROM LIKE A YEAR AGO HAVE MADE ME SO HAPPY. THEYRE SO CUTE YOU DRAW HIK SO SOFT AND SILLY AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY A LITTLE!!!!!! LIKE ITS HIM ITS THE BOY AND IM SO GLAD HE EXISTS YOUR ART STYLE IS SO SOFT AND PRETTY AND YOU MADE HIM LOOKN SO ADORABLE IM LITERALLY JUST REPEATING MYSELF BUT WOHAOHWOAHOWHAHHAHWH IM SO SORRY HES JUST SO CUTE THANK YOU FOR BRIGHTENING UP MY ENTIRE WEEK YOUR ART IS FILLING MY BRAIN
YOUUUUU. YOUUUUUUUUU.
I SAW U REBLOG MY ZERO ART FROM SO LONG BACK N WAS LIKE HOW THE HELL DID U FIND THAT 🙏🙏🙏 N THEN U REKINDLED MY INTEREST IN ZERO A BIT N I GO THROUGH IKEREV ZERO TAGS TO FIND FICS TO READ AGAIN AND WHAT DO I FIND. YOUR FIRST EVER PIECE OF WRITING FOR IKEREV . DIES N EXPLODES. IT WAS SO FLUFFY CUTENESS AGGRESSION BROFIFJENFKSNFKFM
AND THIS MESSAGE REALLY MADE MY DAY LIKE ACTUALLY !!! MY ANATOMY BACK THEN WAS SO ASS HELP ME 💔 IM SO GLAD THERES ANOTHER ZERO ENJOYER PLEASE WHEN I WAS STILL LURKING IN THE FANDOM THE ZERO SCRAPS WERE MEAGRE 💔 I NEEDED THE CRUMBS EVEN IF I HAD TO DRAW THEM MYSELF AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THEM EVEN IF THEYRE REALLY BAD DOODLES FROM A YEAR PRIOR!!! THANK YOU FOR REKINDLING MY INTEREST IN IKEREV EVEN IF FOR JUST A BIT AGAIN
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avengerang · 4 months
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@nameaprice I had this happen to me in game for the first time ever and to prove I did not went crazy, I had to look it up in the wiki.
AHBSHJABD THEY SHOULD HANG OUT, HE SAID IT ♥
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psychoticwillgraham · 5 months
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the ships I’ve come up with so far!! part of me wants to attempt Will/Blaine from glee, just for the sheer absurdity and bc I can do whatever I want forever
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contradictivs · 2 years
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my favorite thing is when ryder meets another sunshine character and it’s like ‘!!!’ or when a puppy sees itself in a mirror
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nordicbananas · 9 months
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it's crazy how the third song on the playlist is fool by cavetown BAHHAHAH
#truly something#the first song is golden retriever boy.#do you realize how pathetic funny and absolutely WILD that is#my man is so not over it#THE NINTH SONG IS PINK TRIANGLE BY WEEZER BTW JGXXGJJGXJGX.#oh and he NEVER adds to his playlist#but over the course of a week he's added two songs.#and the playlist was made about a week ago#this is wild#(he added tell it to my heart by paris paloma and kill u by cavetown BAHAHAA)#BRO CHEATED ON ME. I BROKE UP WITH HIM AFTER 20 DAYS. AND THEN HE GETS A NEW BOYFRIEND 8 DAYS LATER.#SUDDENLY. TWO MONTHS AFTER WE BROKE UP#HE MAKES A PLAYLIST ABOUT ME#THAT'S WILD BEHAVIOR.#this is crazy.#oh yeah fun fact i never told any of you why i broke up with him before this.#so he cheated on me the day after our 1 year anniversary ahaa (im actually 100% over it now tho. idc anymore lmao?? it's a him problem tbh.#and didn't even explain anything. but it was covered up as being a poly relationship#(I've tried really hard but I learned that I am strictly monogamous :/)#and then i broke up with him. we talked about it about a week later at my friend's party#and then he told this other guy he liked him apparently like. ten minutes later#and on the 2nd of November. those two got together#about a month and a half after that. which is around last week.#he made the playlist about me. SO HE ISN'T OVER IT????#JFXFJXJFZJFZJF THIS IS SO COMICAL BRO#THIS ISN'T A VENT BTW!!! I'M NOT UPSET IN THE SLIGHTEST THAT WE'RE NOT DATING BAHAHHAH#APPARENTLY HE DOES THO JGXJGXJGXUFXYFZ#BRO IS NOT THE VICTIM I CAN GARUNTEE YOU THAT. AT LEAST NOT OF ME.#anyways i got an iwatex button up and it looks so cool <33
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Dinner & Diatribes
❝i knew it from the first look of mischief in your eye.❞
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Summary: You both swiped right and suddenly you're standing in a stranger's kitchen while he makes you spaghetti.
Pairing: Modern Aegon Targaryen x Reader
Word Count: 5.2k
Author’s Note: this might be the most self-indulgent fic i've ever written, so fair warning. also, thank you tom, who inspired this by saying that dinner & diatribes would be aegon's hozier song. it's just true. anyways, this was really fun to write.
Warnings: language, recreational drug use, alcohol use, fluff, intense sexual situations (including: oral sex - female receiving, sexual intercourse - p in v), just two single people who are horny, more fluff, aegon being so cute that i couldn't stop smiling the whole time i was writing this.
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It was precisely 9:39 PM on a Tuesday.
You were sitting cross-legged on your couch, nose deep in a fresh murder mystery that you had been working through for the last two days. There was a lit joint between your fingers that you were nursing, taking little hits so that it wouldn’t completely burn out, and on the cushion next to you, your phone softly vibrates and lights up; a familiar icon flashes across the screen and you can easily make out the words, “It’s a Match” from the corner of your eye. 
It’d been a regular occurrence since you had downloaded that accursed app. 
You’d been single for far too long, according to your best friend, though you hadn’t really noticed. The sweet silence of a solitary life was something that you had enjoyed for the most part. It wasn’t even like your online dating life had really taken off, either. You’d get matches but hardly anyone would reach out in any way that made you feel like they were serious. They wanted your Snapchat username, or they were in an ‘open’ relationship or asking for a threesome, and one guy even asked if you would send him pictures of your feet. Even some of the ones you thought were serious about taking you out- or even just hooking up- would end up ghosting you before anything actually happened. 
“It’s not supposed to be serious,” you could hear your friend’s words rattling around in your brain. You shake your head and focus once again on your book; they have a suspect, it’s the best friend! How fitting.
Once again, your phone lights up and vibrates. Not wanting to be distracted from the plot, you ignore your new match and get back to your mystery with anticipation; the best friend is about to confess. You go to take another hit of your joint and frown upon realizing it’s burnt out. As you move to grab your lighter, in comes another message, and another, and another. You stop what you’re doing and pick up your phone, swiping at the screen until you find the culprit. He’s known only as Aegon T, and according to the one sentence he has written on his profile, he has a dog. You swipe through his pictures- the dog is a golden retriever, the man looks like a golden retriever. 
In the message thread, he’s basically talking to himself. 
There’s four new messages waiting for you, while three little dots begin flashing at the bottom of the screen; disappearing and reappearing as you read what he’s already sent. 
“So, I’m high.”
“And I am making spaghetti… and it’s really good.”
“At least I hope it’s really good, it could just be the weed…”
“I could use a taste-tester, if you’re up for it? I can’t pay you or anything, but it’s honest work 😏”
Aegon begins typing again and you watch the screen, a smirk on your lips. You are 99% sure that the spaghetti is truly an innuendo for what he really wants and have half a heart to just block him, but you watch as those little gray dots continue in the bottom left corner of the screen; he’s going back and forth with himself and you can’t help but find it oddly cute. Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you contemplate a witty response, but before you can even begin typing, he sends a fifth message. 
“That was weird as fuck, right?”
Then a sixth.
“You probably don’t want to come over to some random guy’s house on a Tuesday.”
He finishes up with a seventh message.
“Unless you do…”
He almost sends an apology. After all, what's another message? He’s already fucked this whole thing up; not even giving himself a chance before he nose-dived. If he was being honest, he should just go ahead and delete his whole account; save you from secondhand embarrassment and save himself from repeating the same mistake again in the future. He sets the phone down on the kitchen counter and goes back to ripping bong hits to calm his nerves. Though, he’s unable to keep himself from checking his phone for a response; a response that likely wasn’t going to come and he’d spend the rest of his night feeling like a complete idiot. 
Seven back-to-back messages should have screamed ‘red flag’, but you’re glancing at the clock as if you were seriously contemplating taking this stranger up on his offer. After all, you do have needs just as much as the next person. But, you’re wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts, your hair’s a mess, and you were covered in the crumbs of your munchie snacks. Meaning, you were nowhere close to being prepared for what was sure to happen between you and this random stoner offering you dinner. 
Yet, you respond to him, “I could never turn down spaghetti”. 
Aegon’s stirring the sauce when he gets your message. He’s instantly elated, thrusting a celebratory fist into the air. His fingers fly across the keyboard swiftly, sending another quick message, “Atta girl 🙃 My place is on the corner of 9th and 51st, above Jasper’s.”
“Be there soon,” you reply with haste. 
It was apartment #4 and you made sure to text your friend the address, and given name of your potential murderer, and also share your location for her to keep an eye out.  She says all you have to do is text her at any time if you need her to call and bail you out with a fake emergency. All she asks in return is for you to have fun and let her know if you are planning on spending the night- which was an idea that you weren’t opposed to, but it wasn’t something you were planning on. 
You’re nervous as you stand outside of the door to his apartment, fist hovering for a moment. Now’s the time to make a fast exit- you haven’t met him, you could turn around right now and never meet him. You could wake up alive in the morning, safe in your own bed. Or, you can knock on the door and have what might be a really nice spaghetti dinner with a really nice guy. Hell, he could even be the love of your life and in fifty years you’ll both look back on this day and laugh about how you met on Tinder and how you were stupid enough to go to his house and not a public place. 
Finally, you knock. 
Aegon puts the lid back on his spaghetti sauce and shuffles into the living room. Sunfyre is on the couch with his ears perked; his tail’s wagging and he’s panting eagerly, waiting patiently to meet this new visitor. Aegon whispers over to him, “wish me luck,” and thinks to himself, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish. He peers through the peephole when he approaches the door and there you are, a sigh of relief deflates his chest. 
“Oh, thank God,” you can hear him say as the door swings open. His accent is surprisingly British. “You’re real.”
The very first thing that you notice are his eyes. They’re piercing; somehow blue and lavender at the same time– the color of a warm, summer sunrise and they’re crinkling at the edges as he smiles. He’s wearing a pair of dark gray sweats and a pale green hoodie, and the only word that comes to mind when you look at him is warmth. He’s somehow more attractive in person than he is in the pictures on his profile, which you didn’t think was possible, but he’s standing right in front of you and you can’t help but think to yourself, he doesn’t look like a murderer. 
Then again, neither did Ted Bundy.  
Aegon stands there for a moment, just staring at you, unable to do anything else. His words escape him, he can barely even breathe. You look exactly the same as your pictures; even without the makeup and even in the shitty, fluorescent overhead lights of the hallway. Even in a sweatshirt and pajama shorts, you’re stunning. He’s having a hard time believing that you actually showed up and he doesn’t realize that he’s been staring for much too long until you shrug back at him. 
“Did you think I wasn’t?” You ask with creased brows and a lopsided smile.
The corners of his lips pull upwards as he looks at you, “I don’t know. You’re just so beautiful, I’m still not entirely convinced you aren’t some sort of hologram… or a robot.” 
“Wow, you’re pretty smooth,” you say with a playful smirk, desperately trying to keep your composure— trying to play it cool, hoping that he hasn’t caught on to the fact that you’re secretly spiraling, because it took all of one smile and one compliment and you were done for. “But, I’ll have you know that flattery won’t work on me. I’m here for the spaghetti and the spaghetti alone.” 
“My apologies,” Aegon says with a chuckle as he holds his hands up defensively. “Right this way, then.” 
He steps to the side, allowing you to enter his apartment, and shuts the door behind you. It’s nice, clean, smells like fresh baked bread and tomato sauce. There’s niche artwork adorning the walls, he’s got candles burning, and there’s some lowkey, downtempo R&B playing softly in the background. He quickly moves past you and disappears into the kitchen, leaving you to follow him. 
However, before you can take all of two steps into his apartment, a flash of golden fur is suddenly at your hip, pawing for attention. You drop down to a knee and happily accept any and all kisses from the pup. “Oh! Hi, what’s your name?”
Aegon sticks his head around the corner and says, “That is Sunfyre. In case you were wonderin’, he’s a very good judge of character and I will be consultin’ with him later where you’re concerned, fair warning.” 
You roll your eyes and scratch behind Sunfyre’s ears, his tail thumps in approval. 
“Would you like something to drink?” He continues and disappears back into the kitchen. “I’ve got wine and bottled water. Oh, and milk?” There’s a rustling in the kitchen before Aegon adds with a nervous chuckle, “scratch that, there is no milk.” 
You politely excuse yourself from Sunfyre and step into the small dining room off of the kitchen. 
There’s a grin on your lips, which you pursed so that he doesn’t think you’re laughing at him. Sunfyre joins the two of you and circles around his owner’s legs as Aegon empties an almost full half-gallon of milk down the drain. His kitchen is small but looks to be well used, which you appreciate. You know almost nothing about this man, other than his name- if ‘Aegon’ was even his real name- and the name of his dog, and yet here you were, standing in the threshold of his kitchen with a strange sense of comfortability as if you had been lifelong pals. 
“Water is fine,” you tell him. 
He produces a bottle of water from his fridge and tosses it over to you with ease and goes back to the stove. You step further into the kitchen, taking in your surroundings. The kitchen, like the living room, is covered in artwork and vintage decor- things you’d only find in some obscure thrift store or estate sale. On the refrigerator are a collection of magnets from different cities and countries, real touristy type shit. Some of them even had names on them; Alexander, Aaron, Alistair, Alan, Adolf. 
Maybe these are the names of people he’s killed. 
“You travel a lot?” You ask, trying to keep the conversation going.
“I try to,” he says from over his shoulder as he continues to stir the sauce. You can hear him set the lid back on the pot. “Most of those are from my sister, Helaena. She thinks it’s hilarious to give me magnets with random ‘A’ names since you’ll never find the name Aegon on any of those,” he says from behind you. He’s leaning against the counter with a half glass of wine. You quirk an eyebrow at him, not fully convinced. “She has a few from me that say Helen.”
“Is that her?” You ask, finger pointing to a pretty blonde in one of the many photographs he had pinned up.
He nods and takes a step closer to you. He’s so close that you can feel his warmth, smell his aftershave. The proximity causes you to blush and he smirks in response, leaning over your shoulder as he points to the other people in the pictures. “Those two are my little brothers, Aemond and Daeron,” he claims and then points to two women. “That’s my half-sister, Rhae, and next to her is my mother.”
“The redhead?” You ask surprised, given she didn’t look like she could be old enough to have four grown children. He nods and takes a step back, leaning against the counter with half-lidded eyes and a tipsy blush. “She looks like she could be your sister,” you say softly, turning back to glance at all of the faces; he seemed proud of his family, like they were very close. 
You turn away from the fridge and lean against the counter at his side. It’s quiet for a moment, save for the music and the sound of boiling water where the noodles were cooking. You look at him and the corners of your lips can’t help but twist up into a shy smile, but you bite at the inside of your cheek out of nervous habit. He props himself up on his elbows, taking a sip of his wine, clearly comfortable with the silence. 
“So,” you look up at him and his little smirk grows. “About the job…”
“Ah, yes,” he nods. “As I stated earlier, I won’t be able to pay you a monetary wage, but the position does come with a benefits package.”
“And what exactly would this benefits package include?” There’s an innocent flirtatiousness in your voice that only adds to the tension. 
“Outside of the free gourmet meals that I would be providin’ to ya, which is obviously the most important part,” he smiles and steps to the side to grab a spoon from the drawer and holds it out to you. Your fingers softly close around his as you pluck the utensil from his grasp. He clears his throat to distract from the fact that he was visibly flustered from the slight touch. “There’s also unlimited cuddle sessions,” before he can finish, you shoot him a look. “With Sunfyre, of course! He’s the real boss ‘round here, after all.” 
“Cuddling with the boss?” You quirk an eyebrow and look down at the golden retriever, his eyes round and gleaming; clearly waiting for a hand-out. “Sounds like a conflict of interest to me.”
“Well, if it’s a conflict of interest you’re worried about,” he counters quickly with a soft yet playful tone. “I s’pose we could renegotiate the terms of the agreement and you could have me instead.” 
“I’m listening.”
“He might be better at cuddling for obvious reasons and he might be better lookin’,” Aegon continues. “But, I give better backrubs. I mean, I have thumbs and he don’t. You can’t give decent backrubs without thumbs, can you? Plus, he’s a sloppy kisser.” 
“Oh, you’re really trying to sweeten the deal now, huh? Backrubs and kisses? I must admit, that is quite a compelling offer,” you muse. “It seems my decision hinders on whether or not you can actually cook, wouldn’t want to accept the position blindly, now would I?”
“Are ya doubtin’ my skills?” He asked playfully. 
“No offense, but you possess the aura of someone who could fuck up a can of Spaghettios,” you tell him with a sincere smile. “So, forgive me if I don't get my hopes up.”
Aegon laughs and it’s a warm and infectious sound that fills the kitchen. It’s genuine, as is his perfect smile. You can’t seem to keep yourself from staring; eyes softly tracing every detail of his face– from his full, pink pout, to the scar above his right eyebrow, and the dimple of his chin– thinking to yourself that you’ve never seen a man more beautiful. His smile turns back into a smirk as he notices you staring at his lips and you look up to meet his eyes. There’s something about the way he looks at you that leaves you feeling vulnerable. His gaze softens as you look away, turning your attention back to the spaghetti sauce on the stove in front of you to distract yourself from the blush creeping up your neck.
There’s only one way this night ends.
It was obvious before you even left your house and it was certainly obvious now. 
“Go on, then,” he prods, motioning to the pot on the stovetop.
His eyes are wide with anticipation as you dip into the simmering sauce, stirring it a few times before bringing the spoon to your lips. He’s nervous; it’s his mother’s recipe– one he’s spent years perfecting– but with his luck, you will most likely think it’s steaming garbage. Yet, he watches intently; holding his breath as your perfect lips curl to blow softly, cooling the sauce before you finally taste it. 
The moment the spoon touches your tongue, you're determined to remain impartial. After all, you’ve had your fair share of disappointing meals from men who’ve claimed to be great cooks. Aegon certainly could be the very latest and you wouldn’t be at all surprised. So, you keep your expectations low, and try your hardest to remain stoic, but as the flavors begin to unfold, you can feel your resolve wavering. 
It’s good. Better than most. 
Reluctantly, you have to admit that this is the second-best sauce you’ve ever had, right after your grandmother’s. You glance up at Aegon, who’s watching you with a mix of anxiety and hope, and you can’t help but smile. 
“I have to give it to you,” you say, your voice betraying a hint of admiration. “This is incredible. Almost as good as my grandmother’s.”
The relief and pride that spread across his face makes your heart flutter. 
“Yeah?” He asks with a toothy grin. 
“I’m still not completely convinced that you can actually cook, but you can– at the very least– make some top-notch spaghetti sauce,” you tell him as you place your spoon to the side. 
“Top-notch, eh?” He asks playfully as he begins plating your meal. “I’ll take it.” 
“Don’t let it get to your head,” you say to him with a laugh. “It’s just spaghetti sauce.” 
“Just spaghetti sauce? Don’t let my mum hear you say that,” he says with a smirk, setting a full plate in front of you on the counter. “I guess I’ll just have to work extra hard on the next one.”
“Assuming there will be a next one,” you reply, tone dripping with playful sarcasm. “Though, you have set the bar pretty high tonight. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“Well,” he murmurs as he steps closer, his body brushing against yours as he reaches around you to grab a plate. His lips are hovering above the shell of your ear, his voice low and teasing, causing your cheeks to immediately flush as the heat between the two of you intensifies. “I’m nothing if not a perfectionist.”
For a split second you expect for him to lean in for a kiss. Your heart is simultaneously skipping beats and racing at the same time; your breath catching in your throat as he leans in— But then he smirks, grabbing the plate and taking a step backwards. He’s doing it on purpose, you realize; his proximity expertly calculated to keep you on edge. You look up at him with wide, sparkling eyes and he knows he’s got you right where he wants you. The soft blush of your cheeks has his blood pumping and sends a surge of adrenaline through him. He’s trying his absolute best to play it cool but the way you’re biting your lip and looking at him has him unraveling.
“Is that so?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. “What other skills do you have up your sleeve?”
His grin widens as he looks down at you, setting his empty plate to the side. His gaze, once again, drops to your lips. “I have a few tricks,” he says softly, his voice filled with promise. “But I doubt you’d believe me if I told you, so how about I just show you?” 
“What?” You ask with a playful innocence. “Before dinner?”
“I’m not really in the mood for spaghetti anymore.” 
“Oh?” Your smirk is only growing. “What are you in the mood for?”
Aegon says nothing, but a confident grin tugs at the corners of his lips as he rests his hands on your hips. He doesn’t hesitate to pull you in by the waist, until you’re pressed against him and his lips are on yours. The kiss is both gentle and urgent and a little bit awkward, as any first kiss should be. You felt like a teenager again, kissing a boy for the first time– butterflies in your stomach and all.
It takes no time at all for you to find your rhythm with him, and he deepens the kiss, pushing you up onto the kitchen counter to meet his height. Your arms naturally drape across his shoulders, your legs wrap around his middle. He’s completely taken over your mind, filling up every tiny space that he can fit into; the smell of his cologne, the scratch of his stubble against your skin, the feeling of his hands squeezing the flesh of your thighs– his fingertips teasing just underneath the hem of your shorts. 
Breathless, he pulls away from you as he pulls your sweatshirt over your head. He stops for a moment to take in the sight of you; clad only in your bra and shorts, lips red and blotchy, swollen and full. You’re looking up at him from under your lashes, softly biting your bottom lip as you wait for him to continue. He gently lifts his hand up to your cheek and traces the curve of your cupid’s bow with his thumb, providing one last show of tenderness before he leans in to capture your lips in another searing kiss. 
His touch is suddenly rushed; spreading a wildfire across your skin in the wake of his lips as he rips off the remainder of your clothes. It doesn’t take long at all before you’re sitting exposed on his kitchen counter in only a thong, blushing wildly and covering your face with your hands. 
“No– no hiding,” he clicks his tongue and pulls your hands away from your face. “I want to see you.”
He whispers a string of profanities and compliments as his starving eyes roam your figure. Self-doubt creeps into your mind and you momentarily consider making a quick exit, convinced he won’t like what he sees, but the way he’s looking at you makes you feel desired in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. 
Aegon’s gaze is electrifying and intense, drawing you in and silencing your negative thoughts instantly. His hands pull you in by the waist, sliding you to the edge of the counter as his lips work their way down your chin and neck; leaving a trail of red marks down to your chest. He hums, smirking as he takes one of your breasts in his mouth. His hand kneads the other, rolling your hardened nipple between two fingers. Your head falls back, lips parted slightly as you breathe out his name. 
Each sound he elicits from you urges him on even further until he’s on one knee, looking up at you from his position with those pretty eyes. He runs a hand up the back of your calf, softly teasing you with his fingertips before tossing your leg over his shoulder. You knew where he was going, and yet, you were still surprised as he began placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thighs; shivering in anticipation as goosebumps formed on your skin. 
“You’re so wet,” he says proudly, praising you. 
His eyes are locked with yours as his fingers delicately smooth over your clothed clit. He hooks a finger around the dampened cotton and pulls your thong to the side, groaning at the sight of your perfect pussy. Without wasting another second, Aegon’s mouth is suddenly on you and your hands immediately find the back of his head; fingers curling into the roots of his silver hair. 
You roll your hips against his tongue, cursing out as your legs begin to shake. He moans, face still buried deep in you and the vibrations have you writhing. Both of his arms are wrapped around your thighs now, holding you tight to him, not letting up for even a second. Then he stands, lifting you up onto his shoulders. You squeal in shock, holding onto him tightly, but he doesn’t stop; he continues to devour you as he blindly carries you towards his bedroom. 
When his knees hit the side of his bed, he tosses you back onto the mattress. 
You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch as he strips out of his clothes. . You can see the outline of his arousal; prominent and pressing firmly against the fabric of his sweats. You bite your lip at the sight and he smirks as he catches your stare. His movements are unhurried, giving you ample time to appreciate the sight before you. His hoodie and shirt come off first, then his sweats, and you can’t help but notice the way that his muscles flex with each motion. He’s not overly built, but there’s a solid strength in his frame that is evident in the way he moves.
Outside, headlights from passing cars cast streaks of light and shadows across the walls of his room. It’s quiet, the music in the other room has stopped playing and all you can hear is the sound of your own heart beating in your ears. You swallow thickly, encompassed by the tension of the moment as he crawls up the length of your body; placing tender kisses along your skin. His lips leave a trail of warmth, each touch igniting a spark that travels through your entire body.
When he reaches your face, he pauses, his breath mingling with yours as he hovers just inches away. The anticipation builds, thick and electric in the air between you. His lips find yours in a kiss that starts slow and tender but quickly deepens; fingers threading through your hair as he pulls you closer, his body pressing yours deeper into the plush mattress. Your hands explore his back, tracing the contours of his muscles, feeling the tension and strength beneath his skin and coming to rest on his shoulders; gripping tightly as he continues to worship your body with his mouth. Each kiss, each touch, is deliberate, heightening your senses and pulling you further into the moment.
You curse at the feeling of his girth against your entrance. Your hand moves up to the back of his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips as he presses slowly into you. 
“Oh fuck,” he whimpers into the crook of your neck as his arms become weak. 
He knows that he won’t last like this; it’s been a while and you feel way too good. He’s slow at first, wanting to steady himself and maintain control, but his rhythm picks up quickly; hips moving with an unrelenting rhythm, each thrust bringing you both closer to the edge. You can feel his muscles tense, his grip on you tightening as he buries his face in your neck. His moans are a mix of pleasure and desperation, and you can tell he’s fighting to hold back.
You tighten your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, feeling the overwhelming need to reach that peak together. His pace quickens, the tension in his body building to a breaking point. You feel the same pressure inside of you mounting before it’s suddenly crashing over you like a wave. He follows seconds later, a low groan escaping his lips as he spills into you. The intensity of the moment leaves you both breathless and clinging to each other, bathing in the afterglow. 
“That was incredible,” he murmurs against your skin, head pressed to your chest as you stroke his hair softly. His eyes flutter shut as he listens to the sounds of your heartbeat. 
You hum in agreement, smiling to yourself as you savor the peacefulness of the moment. 
Suddenly, you’re joined by Sunfyre jumping up on the bed, his tail wagging enthusiastically. You smile at him and pat the empty space next to you, inviting him to join your cuddle session. He eagerly accepts the invitation, circling the bed a few times before snuggling up next to you. Aegon lifts his head and smiles, clearly pleased that you would be so open to having the dog in bed with you. He wraps his arm around both you and Sunfyre, pulling you closer. 
“This is perfect,” he says softly, his voice filled with contentment as he lays his head back on your chest. 
"So, about that job offer," you say playfully, your fingers tracing patterns along his skin. "I think I'll accept the position. When would you like for me to start?"
He lifts his head to look at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “How about tomorrow night at seven?”
Before you can respond, a distinct burning smell reaches your nose. Your brows furrow as you sniff the air. “Do you smell that?”
Aegon’s eyes widen in realization. “The spaghetti!” 
He jumps up from the bed, pulling on his clothes quickly, and scrambles into the kitchen. You follow behind him, tossing one of his t-shirts over your head and meet him in the kitchen. 
“I guess I forgot to turn off the burner,” Aegon looks disappointed but then chuckles, shaking his head. He looks at you with a glint in his eye and smirks. “Occupational hazard, I guess.”
“Oh, that sucks!” You laugh, playfully nudging him. “Is it too late to back out of the job now?”
“Way too late for that,” he says as he pulls you into a soft kiss, silencing any doubts immediately. “You’re mine now.” 
“Mm,” you hum against his lips. “But I came here for the spaghetti.”
He chuckles and pulls back slightly. “Will you settle for pizza?”
“I’ll settle for anything, as long as it’s with you,” you say with a smile as you wrap your arms around his waist. “And as long as there’s extra cheese!”
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luveline · 2 months
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Reader calling remus a golden retriever bf (cos hes you know) and him not being amused by it at aLL
Remus doesn’t answer you when you call his name for dinner. Twice, a third time, you worry he’s hit his head, but then you remember he’d been reading when you last saw him. He gets so distracted, you have no choice but to pull out the big guns. 
“Hey, handsome?” you call. You take a pause. “Lovely?” 
“What?” Remus answers, a call back to you from the bedroom. Soon, he’s peering down the stairs at you with a smile. “What do you want?” 
“Dinner’s finished, my love.” 
Remus nods and begins down the stairs. He touches you as soon as you’re within reach, encouraging you against him, his mouth and nose nuzzled to the top of your head. “Did you call me before? I thought I heard you.” 
“I called you a couple of times, baby. Don’t worry, though, you just needed some nice prompting. What is it that Sirius said a few days ago? You’re my golden retriever boyfriend.” 
“I’m your what?” 
You lean away to see him. He’s pressed his lips into a flat line. “Don’t be so grumpy, it’s a good thing. You’re just… enthusiastically in love, and responsive to affection.” 
“How does that make me a golden retriever?” 
You decide to tease him. “Because you’re so nippy and eager.” You kiss his cheek. “Woof.” 
You leave his side quickly and make your way into the kitchen, where you’ve set your dinner plates and drinks on the table. He looks as though he’d like to argue about what this golden retriever comment truly means, but he sees how you’ve set things up and his entire face and demeanour softens. Remus pulls your chair out and goes in for a second round of face nuzzling as you sit, hugging you from the side. “This means nothing,” he says, kissing your cheek much more gently than you’d kissed his, “I’m just very grateful you made dinner. It looks amazing.” 
“You’re like if a golden retriever puppy was very tired.” 
“I resent that.” 
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