#he's an old man of ten you see

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 11, day 30

More work shading Flick's wings tonight :)

And tomorrow I start moving stuff around in my bedroom so I can set up my new bed! :D I'm very excited 💜

[sarahwatchesthings]

Oh, no, "Wild Blue Yonder" was actually... good? Shows can still be good? Am I losing it, y'all?

[clowningaroundmars]

im watching columbo just to see what all the hype is about and uh i was NOT expecting this lil bumbling old guy to be so damn feral LOL

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

[unopenablebox]

i know cadfael/hugh beringar is the mainline slash ship for these books and like, i do get it, but honestly brother cadfael/brother mark has certain meaningful charms

[wayward-wren]

Me, age ten, reading Roman Mysteries: Jonathan my beloved my fictional crush

Me, age twenty-two, watching Roman Mysteries: Why Jonathan's Dad lowkey the most attractive man here???

[cats-in-the-clouds]

i keep getting stuck being forced to take classes i despise and that have no relevance to me so i’m going to go all malicious compliance on every single assignment and subtly insult the class material and/or professor

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

anyway back to thinking about fionna and cake for the night because simon compels me

[krispiecake]

my little brother texts like an exasperated old man its so funny

[gregmarriage]

sideshow bob is the funniest fucker alive. his nemesis is a ten year old, who put him in jail for the crime he LITERALLY committed. he’s not above child murder, or just murder in general. he used to hate krusty, but apparently bart takes first place after he puts him in jail, again, for the crime he LITERALLY committed!! he’s insane <3

[poisoned-pearls]

”love letter from the sea to the shore,” (Delaney Bailey) and “good old fashioned lover boy,” are azul love songs directed at Jamil but from different ends of the spectrum

[landgraabbed]

still in morrowind hell (also ik it’s not the same daedric artifact at all but getting moon and star never fails to remind me of this masterpiece)

[necromancer-nonbinary]

My mother called me last night.

She admitted she hadn't been sure if she should; she knew that I was already having a bad week,

even though it was only Monday night.

She was right, but I'm still glad she called. Like she thought, it was a long time since I'd visited any site where I might have found out.

She said she's seen a post from the Kelly Theatre and I thought, well, that's it. They've finally had to close.

(They nearly did a few years ago; when I read the news, I had to run to the bathroom and hide to keep from crying in the middle of the airport.)

Maybe it was inevitable; the military doesn't care about one piddling little community theater, and the way people rotate in and out, things were always going to fall apart eventually.

"Richard died today," Mom said, and my head filled with static.

"Oh," I said.

He had recently been diagnosed with ("Anything ending in -oma is bad," I joked, laughing when there is nothing else to do, like Mom, like Richard), and his friends and family had kept it quiet til the end at his request. Mom and I talked a while longer, about my pets and hers, about whether she was coming this way at the end of the month, and then we hung up. I looked at the game on my TV screen. I had settled in to play something familiar and comforting before Mom called, hoping to unwind, thinking she was calling about holiday travel. How strange to see it now. The last time I saw Richard, I hadn't known that game existed.

I lay down on the floor with the dog.

While he pawed at my head, asking to be pet, I read. Multiple myeloma is cancer of the plasma cells in the bone marrow, causing pain, kidney problems, anemia, leaving you vulnerable to secondary infections because your white blood cells are few and producing the wrong antibodies. It must have been very advanced when they found it. According to the post Alan left on the theatre facebook page, the diagnosis had only come on October 11th. I read the year twice to be sure. Barely a week ago. Some of the names in the comments, I know; some I don't. I know all the sentiments, though. I'd express the same ones if my brain weren't still full of static. Such an incredible man. Such a fantastic presence. I'm so grateful to him for giving me a chance.

How do I mourn a man I haven't seen since 2014?

I don't suppose I really knew him, any more than he really knew me. Director and actor. Encouraging, sardonic, begging a shy teenager to speak up, please, they want to hear you in the back of the house. When I picture that theater, I picture him. Such a small slice of a man's life, but so unspeakably founational to me. Mom still likes to laugh at the surprise on his face when I sang at the auditions for Carrie. I don't think he knew I could make so much noise. I don't think I did, either.

If I were a poet, maybe I could find the right words to express what this strange half-mourning feels like. Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet. Maybe I haven't let it. Tears haven't come easily since I started testosterone, and part of me is afraid that if I can undam my eyes and get them out, they won't stop again. Have I got the time to mourn? That's a cruel question to have to ask. Crueler because I know the answer is "no." No time to mourn. I'm writing this post in moments snatched between tasks at work. If there's no time to properly write, there's definitely no time to understand he's gone, or to grapple with what he meant to me. In the short time our paths crossed, close to the world. I kept doing theatre all through college. I'd like to tell him. I want to tell him that in my capstone, while I tried to wrangle a cast of students and stumble through directing and acting and designing the same show, that he was the one who shaped how I worked, more than even my advisor. I only had to yell at them a few times, but I suppose we never got quite loud enough. Would you like to see?

[thebadtimewolf]

"10too however is very much not that. He has the same mind up to christmas invasion AND THEN NONE OF THE CHARACTER GROWTH WHATSOEVER FROM TEN. HE NEVER EXPERIENCED LOSING ROSE IN DOOMSDAY AND SKIPPED MARTHA ENTIRELY AND SKIPPED WILF AND MISS MINOGUE AND ALL OF DONNA UP TIL the end of turn left and then stolen earth/journey’s end"

youre kidding right? he has all the memories that ten has up until that dalek shoots him in the street. how else would he even know wtf was going on?? once again. ONLY HIS PHYSICAL FORM grew from the hand. the regeneration energy--which is the ESSENCE of the doctor, was after he was shot in the stolen earth. it's the SAME guy. in a different body.

and he quite clearly doesnt have donna's mind because on 2 separate occasions in the show, she says something and BOTH doctors say "we didn't think of that". he is a BIOLOGICAL metacrisis. not a psychological one. that's why he is sustainable and donna isnt

do you really think ten would leave rose with anyone unless he was 100% sure it was a version of him that could give her everything he wanted to but never could?

wow.

someone's big mad of my theoretical observation (one of many many many) that dared to conflict against your own about a ship so stale over time that when we finally get merch for it - its only for the power of the doctor event just to rob us of more jo martin!doctor/fugitive doctor merch and extremely bland roseten audio adventures. and the one mention of rose with nine with ten present in a marketed event by bbc and big finish ad titan comics and - ten literally doesnt give a shit about her but severely effected by losing donna as if she was the love of his life instead of rose. right there. you know. crumbs and dust.

however, i am glad you chose to read all that under the cut to match the length. as well as then choosing to ignore a very real terror they seem to be inflicting on tentoo thru the eyes of rose. you a real trooper🫡

how'd you beat the text limit in an ask?

OH THE DALEK SCENE?? OH I GOT A OBSERVATION YOU REALLY GONNA HATE IT IF THIS IS THE ENERGY YOU WANNA BRING. but. meh. does it need saying?

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

fucked up when old people give presentations and go “I’m super excited that you guys are going to get to see this happening! Not me tho I'll be dead : (” 

[sooptea]

I made the mistake of play testing a few games I was planning to give as a Christmas present and now I've grown attached , help